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<s>[INST] I was going to post a time traveling joke, but you guys didnβt like it. [/INST] Well I laughed the first time I read it. </s> |
<s>[INST] my Italian friend has so many body piercings, he even got his naples done [/INST] Oh, that's Sicily </s> |
<s>[INST] The four horseman of the apocalypse just clocked out for their last shift before retirement. [/INST] Sadly there's nobody who will remember the great job they have done. </s> |
<s>[INST] I was going to quit stealing board games, but there was one last Risk I was willing to take. [/INST] If you take them all you'll have a monopoly on the market. </s> |
<s>[INST] An adult man in a suit pulled his pants down and pooped on the floor in the middle of the restaurant. [/INST] Because the young hostess with braces said,
" Pleash shit anywhere you like shir." </s> |
<s>[INST] When someone tells me to stop acting like a flamingo, thatβs when I put my foot down. [/INST] That advice is for the birds anyhow </s> |
<s>[INST] Hi, I'm Troy McClure [/INST] You may remember me from such subreddits as r/SimpsonsDidIt and r/LazySetups </s> |
<s>[INST] When reading out a URL, instead of saying "Double U, Double U, Double U. . ." save time by just saying "Sextuple U. . ." [/INST] And then they ask me what I said, and I have to explain it to them, and then this sextuples the amount of time it takes. </s> |
<s>[INST] I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain. [/INST] Ain't no party like a North Korea Party. Because a North Korea party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY. </s> |
<s>[INST] How do you find a Vegan at a dinner party?
Don't worry. They'll let you know. [/INST] I'm a level 9 Vegan... I wait for the fruit to fall of the tree and then I only eat it's shadow. </s> |
<s>[INST] Whenever my baker makes a joke he cracks a rye smile [/INST] We knead more jokes like this. No matter how you slice it, it's funny. I rise and say a toast to your joke. </s> |
<s>[INST] Subreddit Of The Month [July 2018]: /r/fruitfaces. Know of a small (under 20,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside! [/INST] r/memritvmemes
Out-of-context pictures of middle eastern TV. </s> |
<s>[INST] What do you call a nosy pepper?
jalapeΓ±o business [/INST] What do you say to a mean tomato?
Hey, fuck you tomato. </s> |
<s>[INST] Before I met my wife I was incomplete, now I'm finished. [/INST] Good ol Norm </s> |
<s>[INST] When the thief stole a calendar, he got 12 months. [/INST] Poor guy was probably lonely and just looking for a date. </s> |
<s>[INST] Say what you want about Improv. [/INST] Yes, and? </s> |
<s>[INST] I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford. [/INST] Pure genius! </s> |
<s>[INST] I wanted to text my mom telling her that my boyfriend and I are going to a Buddhist temple and the auto-correct changed it to a Nudist temple...twice [/INST] Do not avoid the prophecy </s> |
<s>[INST] It's the little things that count; Fingers and toes, for example. [/INST] Make the little things count: teach midgets math. </s> |
<s>[INST] Never take the 'P' out of a pirate..... as he becomes very angry. [/INST] I have smol brain explain pls </s> |
<s>[INST] Girls on Reddit do exist! But to find them⦠[/INST] you need to PM me your credit card information, daddy. </s> |
<s>[INST] My question to all of the mind readers is the following: [/INST] No, you pervert. Your plan is riddled with holes. Goats are not as trainable as you think, the whole thing is illegal, and I don't think that they sell that kind of restraint any more. And by the way, the preferred term is "little person," not m... |
<s>[INST] I only like tables periodically [/INST] And i am predictable, usually </s> |
<s>[INST] I've actually found that it is surprisingly difficult to write a funny one liner if you've got a really large penis. [/INST] I'm not sure if this is funny or not. Schrodinger's cock. </s> |
<s>[INST] I try to be self-deprecating, I'm just not very good at it. [/INST] I've got an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one </s> |
<s>[INST] statistically most people wet the bed during the wee hours of the morning [/INST] The mathematician who figured that out is really a whiz. </s> |
<s>[INST] I wonder what happened to all those people who asked me for directions. [/INST] If they were smart.. they asked someone else shortly after </s> |
<s>[INST] if you let them shenan once, theyβll shenanigan
and if you let them hool once, theyβll hooligan
(not mine but funny right?) [/INST] I've been to Bennigan's and then I've been to Bennigan's again. And then I've been again to Bennigan's. Then again, Bennigans doesn't vend venison to born-agains so they should ... |
<s>[INST] The difference between outlaws and inlaws is that outlaws are wanted [/INST] brutal and great. is this original? </s> |
<s>[INST] the sledgehammer really was a groundbreaking invention [/INST] Jackhammer works better </s> |
<s>[INST] Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year. [/INST] This seems like hyperbole. </s> |
<s>[INST] The mother of idiots is always pregnant
Because: [/INST] As long as stupid people keep fucking, there will always be stupid fucking people. </s> |
<s>[INST] βRick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Disney Pixar collection, except one. [/INST] This took too much thinking </s> |
<s>[INST] I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. [/INST] I think r/oneliners submissions are supposed to be humorous in some way. This does not seem to qualify. </s> |
<s>[INST] Try to uninstall Google Chrome [/INST] http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/7848/55334208ze6.png </s> |
<s>[INST] An alcoholic and a peripatetic walk into a bar [/INST] Cerebral. I like it. </s> |
<s>[INST] I thought the wife was kidding when she told me to stop singing "I'm a believer" by the Monkees, but then I saw her face. [/INST] This was one of the better one liners, take my imaginary polar bear trophy! </s> |
<s>[INST] Step 1) Your band name is a wikipedia article Step 2) The album name is the last few words of the last quote on the random quote page 3) Album art is a random flickr image 4) Photoshop the result [/INST] Step 1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
Step 2) http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
... |
<s>[INST] I kissed her lips, she closed her legs, I broke my glasses [/INST] Hard to see that coming </s> |
<s>[INST] If you've eaten a hotdog, there's nothing you haven't tried. [/INST] Dog licker explaining the joke here, there is a common belief that hotdogs are mystery meat so when you eat one there could quite literally be anything and everything in there. </s> |
<s>[INST] βͺIf Santa puts himself on the naughty list will Christmas be swallowed into a black hole of logic?β¬ [/INST] It will have the same effect as Googling Google </s> |
<s>[INST] Do gun manuals have a trouble shooting section? [/INST] Yes, but it's not written in complete sentences, just bullet points. </s> |
<s>[INST] I would rather die than have sex with a necrophiliac. [/INST] *Then </s> |
<s>[INST] Messi, Ronaldo and Neymar walk into a bar...
... to watch the reminder of World Cup games [/INST] so original </s> |
<s>[INST] A baby seal walks into a club [/INST] DON'T PUT THE FREAKING PUNCHLINE IN THE FREAKING TITLE!!!
heh. </s> |
<s>[INST] Went shopping for cherries and a microphone- bought a bing bought a boom. [/INST] i (now) see what you did there, but i had to google 'bing cherry' before it made sense. </s> |
<s>[INST] The only time the word "incorrectly" isnβt spelled incorrectly is when itβs spelled incorrectly. [/INST] yes. </s> |
<s>[INST] My wife found loads of animal porn on our computer but I think I got away with it.
I blamed the dog. [/INST] Good Move.
She already knows that he is into fucking women. </s> |
<s>[INST] What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? [/INST] Who needs rhetorical questions anyway...? </s> |
<s>[INST] When life gives you writer's block, [/INST] How to procrastinate:
1. &#x200B; </s> |
<s>[INST] For as long as I can remember, I've had memories. [/INST] /r/KenM quality </s> |
<s>[INST] A princess, an elf, and a demon walk into a bar... [/INST] The only thing they have in common?
None of the characters lend themselves to a comedic punchline. :( </s> |
<s>[INST] After a work-related incident, cops interview the only witness: a kid
So kid, why did the worker fall off the ladder?
*Because God punished him for swearing*.
Swearing? How did he swear?
*Fuck you, kid! Stop shaking the ladder!* [/INST] It's funny because God doesn't exist! </s> |
<s>[INST] Whoever says that the Kindle's text-to-speech function isn't perfect is wrong...
... I just turned it on while reading "A Brief History of Time" and it sounds just like Hawking! [/INST] An interesting side note: Hawking has declined upgrades to his text to speech synthesiser, as he feels that it is his 'voice... |
<s>[INST] My uncle lost both his left leg and left arm in a freak accident, but the doctors said he'll be all right. [/INST] Uncle Buster? </s> |
<s>[INST] Finding the right analogy is as hard as...as hard as... [/INST] I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos, but it's hard ... very hard! </s> |
<s>[INST] Two termites walk into a bar, and one asks, "Is the bar tender here?" [/INST] OH, I get it! Because the termites are so short that they wouldn't be able to see the bar tender past the bar! </s> |
<s>[INST] man addicted to drinking brake fluid claims he can stop anytime he wants [/INST] I never tire of these high caliper jokes.. </s> |
<s>[INST] My steam powered robot has developed a Coke habit. [/INST] I don't get it
Edit: my friend doesn't get it </s> |
<s>[INST] Man, these gender reveal parties are lit. [/INST] But why do people keep calling it βindecent exposureβ? </s> |
<s>[INST] It takes guts to be an organ donor. [/INST] ... and they end up heartless </s> |
<s>[INST] You know what's great? Adding the word "ass" to pretty much any major sports team. [/INST] Living in Wisconsin I feel ashamed to say this.
The Green Bay Ass Packers really put a beating on the St Louis Ass Rams. </s> |
<s>[INST] Android users! (Nsfw)
Hold down the home button (Google Search) and ask Google "What is an Angry Dragon?"
Report back! [/INST] Omg that's funny </s> |
<s>[INST] I wish people would stop asking me where I think I'm going to be in 5 years, I don't have 2020 vision. [/INST] [Bravo!](http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/picard_clapping.gif) </s> |
<s>[INST] A Roman walks into bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please" [/INST] I hate you </s> |
<s>[INST] If you get shampoo in your mouth while singing in the shower, it becomes a soap opera. [/INST] Don't use sham-poo. Insist on the real thing. </s> |
<s>[INST] I do my taxes like I cut my nails, don't file that shit. [/INST] It's been 5 years for me... </s> |
<s>[INST] I call all the people that cut my hair Delilah [/INST] I sincerely don't get it. </s> |
<s>[INST] I dunno what this WiFi dude did but Iβve seen a ton of bars and restaurants demanding his freedom lately. [/INST] Took me a minute π </s> |
<s>[INST] Reddit Contest : I own CarlosMenciaSucks.com - submit a photo and whichever is voted highest will be put on the front (and only) page of the site. [/INST] http://www.concertshots.com/August%202006/cs-CarlosMencia10-Athens081606.JPG </s> |
<s>[INST] My wife's one of those women who'll use a quick flash of the tits, or the promise of a blowjob in order to get little jobs done around the house.
The plumber told me. [/INST] Whatβs her number mate? Asking for a friend </s> |
<s>[INST] Farts are just the ghosts of the things we have eaten. [/INST] r/showerthoughts </s> |
<s>[INST] Let's play a game, Reddit. Tell a joke without the punchline. Write a punchline for someone else's joke.
I'll start you off! [/INST] How many political commentators does it take to change a light bulb? </s> |
<s>[INST] Walked through the park the other day and saw an old man who was feeding the birds. First thing I thought to myself was "I wonder how long he's been dead". [/INST] Was this in San Junipero? </s> |
<s>[INST] Do you really think I'd know how to gaslight? [/INST] Gaslighting isn't real, your "friends" made it up to turn you against me. </s> |
<s>[INST] A dyslexic man walks into a bra. [/INST] Then says "Dang it, if only the reader was dyslexic instead of me, I could've walked into a bar" </s> |
<s>[INST] I ground up some chalk to soften the blow. [/INST] Cut it out. </s> |
<s>[INST] I hate it when people use big words to make themselves sound perspicacious. [/INST] Well, if I'm not mistaken, that is a contrafibularious consequence of the most non-petratremiscuous circumstances. </s> |
<s>[INST] My wife and I decided to spell bad words out so our kids don't learn them, so during our family supper last night l told her "honey, we should S-T-O-P saying 'shit' in front of the kids." [/INST] Why is this being upvoted? It's not even good enough to be a dad joke. </s> |
<s>[INST] Having a child is like taking a shit [/INST] U can't put it back in </s> |
<s>[INST] 9 out of 10 dermatologists agree that towels are the leading cause of dry skin. [/INST] If you are looking for a dermatologist, watch out for the one that disagrees. </s> |
<s>[INST] Just realized the letter B has boobs. [/INST] Boob is just different POVs of boobs. B is top view, oo is front view, b is side view </s> |
<s>[INST] I like what mechanics wear, overall. [/INST] My mechanic is fixed </s> |
<s>[INST] Being a baby must be terrifying, imagine going to sleep in your house and you wake up at Target. [/INST] This sub has better showerthoughts than the actual showerthoughts sub </s> |
<s>[INST] Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. Theyβre always plotting something. [/INST] That's two lines </s> |
<s>[INST] I once had sex in a hospital [/INST] But she was stiffer than i was! </s> |
<s>[INST] And then the giraffe whispered to the zebra... [/INST] You didn't even have to kneel for that. </s> |
<s>[INST] Come on you can tell me the truth I won't get angry [/INST] A common lie. </s> |
<s>[INST] So my fiance sits on the sofa next to me last night, and asks, "what's on the tv?"
I reply, "Dust."
And that's when the fight started. [/INST] I reply "Lost."
And that's when she said "Do you want me to explain what's going on?" </s> |
<s>[INST] The person who invented the door knocker deserves a Nobel prize. [/INST] This was posted on r/dadjokes 14 hours ago </s> |
<s>[INST] Two of my mom's sisters moved to the Alaskan wilderness so now it's a double aunt tundra. [/INST] I laughed at this. Very good. </s> |
<s>[INST] Most amateur porn actresses are just not up to snuff. [/INST] Anyone can be up to snuff if they are depressed enough </s> |
<s>[INST] My favorite teacher at school was Ms. Turtle, a strange name, but she tortoise well. [/INST] I heard she taught the slow kids. </s> |
<s>[INST] I was fired from the keyboard factory today because I wasnβt putting in enough shifts. [/INST] Outa Ctrl ! </s> |
<s>[INST] I spent ages trying to spell Inconsequential before I realized it's not that important. [/INST] I think this would work better as "I spent ages trying to define inconsequential" or something along those lines </s> |
<s>[INST] Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether oar situation [/INST] Heh. My insurance only covers the boat paddle. </s> |
<s>[INST] How many fingers do you need to change a light bulb?.... [/INST] 1 but it gets a lot of glass shards everywhere </s> |
<s>[INST] Why do so many people hate the guy who killed Hitler? [/INST] Not only that.. they hate the guy who killed the guy who killed Hitler </s> |
<s>[INST] Oh honey, you did what !? [/INST] Look, it was dark and, in my defense, I pulled out quickly once I realised it was my grandma and not you! </s> |
<s>[INST] I canβt believe the fired me at the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in. [/INST] Perhaps you could make it up at the calendar factory. Just be sure not to take too many days off. </s> |
π€ HumorChains - LLaMA2-1k
A dataset of 2,000 humorous one-liners, jokes, and witty responses formatted for instruction-tuned language models (e.g., LLaMA 2, GPT-style).
The dataset is designed to help train and fine-tune models that can generate short, punchy, and context-aware humor.
π Dataset Summary
- Name:
humorchains-llama2-1k - Modality: Text
- Size: 2,000 samples (~324 KB)
- Format: Instruction-style (
<s>[INST] ... [/INST] ... </s>) - Use Case: Fine-tuning chatbots to respond with jokes, witty comebacks, or light humor.
Each entry follows the instruction-response style:[INST] I was going to post a time traveling joke, but you guys didnβt like it. [/INST]
Well, I laughed the first time I read it.
π οΈ Intended Uses
- Fine-tuning LLaMA 2 or similar models on humor-based responses.
- Training lightweight banter/chatbots.
- Research in creative text generation and humor modeling.
β οΈ Not intended for offensive/abusive content generation.
π Dataset Structure
Split:
train: 2,000 rows
Features:
text(string): Instruction + humorous response
π₯ Usage
from datasets import load_dataset
dataset = load_dataset("anuzb/humorchains-llama2-1k")
print(dataset["train"][0])
Example Output:
{'text': '<s>[INST] I was going to post a time traveling joke, but you guys didnβt like it. [/INST] Well I laughed the first time I read it. </s>'}
π Example Fine-tuning
from transformers import AutoTokenizer, AutoModelForCausalLM
model_name = "meta-llama/Llama-2-7b-hf"
tokenizer = AutoTokenizer.from_pretrained(model_name)
model = AutoModelForCausalLM.from_pretrained(model_name)
encodings = tokenizer(dataset["train"]["text"], return_tensors="pt", truncation=True, padding=True)
outputs = model(**encodings)
π Dataset Stats
Rows: 2,000
Size: ~324 KB
Downloads last month: 13
π€ Contributions
Feel free to open issues, suggest more jokes, or contribute new humor datasets!
π Do you want me to make this shorter and professional (like Hugging Face official style) or keep it fun with emojis and humor vibe?
- Downloads last month
- 14