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Yup!
Like a balloon and ... something bad happens.
Fry
Oh, my God! I bet I can eat nachos and go to the bathroom at the same time!
Bender, part of being human is having self control.
Amy
Not Santa!
Santa Claus, you stand accused of crimes against humanity. How do you plead?
Whitey
Curse you, merciful Poseidon!
He cries and walks over to a Boating Prohibited sign, rips it down and folds it into a boat. He climbs into it and pushes it away from the riverbank.] And so I set sail for unknown shores. Oh, merciful Poseidon, take pity on this mechanical mariner. Oh, jeez!
Bender
ut of his chest cabinet and opens the tomb. A robot is in there]
He pulls out a book and blows the dust off it. It is The da Vinci Code .] Some preposterous hog-wash about the Fibonacci Sequence . Aha! The markings indicate how many paces we need to take. One ... Okay, we're there.
Farnsworth
You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator?
Hmm. Better play it safe. Go there a little earlier and wait for him. You know what to do.
Nudar
normal] Well, who wants a martini?
We did it! We won!
Leela
Correct, Wiggles. You've just earned an invitation to the captain's table
I have now. And what's Peter Parrot's first rule of captaining?
Bender
Yeah, but I'm not done yet. I got a full-proof plan to make sure I go home the champ!
You've accomplished so much more than most of us would bother to.
Leela
A reunion at your old orphanarium, eh? You gonna go?
Oh, it's just a card. From the orphanarium I grew up in.
Leela
Zoom out to reveal another vault with the sign Germ Warfare Repository with a window that opens and shuts with the wind] <poem> Norwegian seed guard : Oh, dat's da germ warfare repository.
We just wanna come in and rummage about a bit.
Farnsworth
We both know I won't do that! Either you're gonna shoot me or I'm gonna spray whipped cream in your eyes and walk outta here like a big shot.
Bender zooms out and takes off his moustache and belt.] Forty ounces of Heaven! Here, boy. This is for you. Ah! Invisible safe, eh? Aw, yeah, baby. Two-hundred-and-ten proof.
Bender
No chance, hot pants! I'd rather die and kill all of you than party for one more millisecond!
Party, Bender! Party for your life!
Farnsworth
Who is he? I'll kill him!
Hey, Bender, here's an exhibit about Mom's favourite robot.
Fry
What seems to be the problem, officers? Was I speeding?
Gotcha!
Smitty
Yeah!
Woohoo!
Amy
Help! Help!
Some lazy or polite robot is holding it in.
Leela
Alright, show's over. No refunds. You heard the robot. Get out!
Oh, following in my footsteps?
Leela
: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Good enough. Splice in some reaction shots of me and shove it on the air.
Calculon
Precocious little scamp, ain't I?
You're only four years old?
Fry
Hey! That galaxy's signalling in binary. I gotta signal back. But I only know enough binary to ask where the bathroom is. You speak English?
Welcome to our monastery. Please stand to one side to let faster pilgrims by.
Female Voice
If they put me on a stamp, tell them to use the young Bender.
Bender! No!
Fry
Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle. What have you done with your lives?
I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Linda
I find that offensive!
What the--
Fry
Death to all of you!
Bender, you know these humans?
Calculon
Now what's going on there?
Fry, Fry, you're missing the dinosaurs.
Bender
Humans are disgusting! I opened one up once. I almost barfed.
My leg feels funny!
Destructor
None of your business! Get off my back!
Good morning, Bender.
Amy
No! It's just ... neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.
You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gamblers?
Leela
Aw, come on! I've got a lot of ransom notes to send!
And finally, the post office meter is for business mail only.
Hermes
Hey, look! Bigfoot! He's back!
Ah, that would be very expensive, and most people who believe in Bigfoot are broke.
Ranger Park
So, I can, uh, keep the cheque?
Bender, that's some played-out, new-jack, horse crap-- But I know you don't mean it so apology accepted.
Beck
Leela who?!
Yay!
Professor Farnsworth
Yeah, right. What's he gonna do, break my legs?
Well, at least now you can pay off your loan shark.
Fry
Oh! How could I let this happen? I can't go through the rest of my life like this.
Deal.
Pawnbroker
Don't worry, Leela. Soon we'll be able to look back on this and laugh.
Yeah, well, you shouldn't have been such a mean captain then.
Fry
Huh? Wasn't me. Must be some of that urine your all so proud of.
nspector 5 , the best inspector a kid could want. The day I was built, he looked me over, probably with tears of pride in his eyes, and proclaimed to all the world, by means of this scrap of paper, that I was perfect and infallible in every way!
Bender
And what's that catchy beat?
Zoidberg, this makes no sense. Why are you helping him?
Leela
Nice turnout, Calculon. That Oscar's practically on your mantel.
Well, editing is a long and expensive process but we spent all the money on pies, so it'll be ready Friday.
Zoidberg
A little of this, huh?
Hey, listen, Bender. We got a big score planned but, uh, we need some muscle.
Donbot
Aw, no! A strike? Now I'll never get to bend anything. Oh, woe is Bender.
unsure] Right?
Clamps
Well, I do think of human life as expendable.
That's right. Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good captain can't have either one. That's why cold, logical Bender is perfect for the job.
Farnsworth
Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack. He pretty much told me so himself. Now come on. If we don't save those monks, no one will!
Do we have to? I mean, they're monks. I'm sure their God will let them out or at least give them more shoes to eat.
Fry
That poor turtle!
Direct your attention now to the African turtles seen here migrating to cooler homes in Holland.
Morbo
Come on, don't you remember how much I was bugging you, don't you? 'Cause it was a lot, you remember, right?
Absolutely not.
Calculon
I'm back, baby!
The white Robot sighs.] Just get out.
White Robot
You shot me. You miserable dingus!
Fry continues moving the photographs around. He stops at the one showing the gun.] Wait. Who's the trigger-happy jerk? That's me. I recognise the face.
Fry
Wretched technology has brought me nothing but misery!
Is he alright?
Sinclair
He must have left the city. Man, this could take all day.
Okay, you're still clean. I mean metaphorically.
Bender
Hey, rich girl. Look over here! It's me, Bender. I'm being entertaining. Look at my head. It's all painted! Look at my head! I got a big, old head, hey! Ho! Alright, show's over, I'm tired.
Kappa Kappa Wong .
Amy
What part of nay doesn't thou understand?
But-But Metal Lord.
Malachi
I don't see any irony in that.
If I understand ice fishing, and I'm pretty sure I don't, we'll need to laser-blast a hole in the ice.
Leela
I can't. My Fembot may be in love with another Manbot.
Obsessing won't help, Bender. Take a lean back and enjoy life.
Farnsworth
See? Nothing. Told you, losers.
You've seen me naked?
Zoidberg
You're all losers. My name's Bender.
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Gearshift, chapter president. This is Oily, and this here is Fat-bot.
Fratbot #1
Has humanity called?
Let's heat up some leftovers and then spend eternity together. I have only one request. Now that you're here, promise me you'll never, ever communicate with any other universe.
YIVO
So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy, and, pardon my ignorance, but when do we kill all humans?
Diamondillium it is.
Farnsworth
Very near!
So...you don't miss whatshername?
Bender
Deploying ice drill.
Wow! Mining a comet! That sounds fun.
Fry
Wake up, buddy. End of the line!
No sweat. We'll just take a spin on the B-train!
Bender
Zero! And what a surprise! Look who's scraping up the filth! Is it a human child? I wish!
Eleven?
Fry
Mommy!
That's exactly what I was thinking.
Hermes
Boo! Bring on Bender! Boo! Bender's the greatest!
--At Veracruz. So, if you'll kindly hand me my poncho--
Macaulay Culkon
But I destroyed the technology of the world. I ran on the beach and felt the sand between my foot cups.
Your upgrade is complete.
Technician
o think I need an upgrade?
Oh, yeah, no, you're pretty perfect.
Fry
Nuh-uh! My wireless back-up unit saves a copy of me every day. So, if my body gets killed, big whoop, I just download into another body. I'm immortal, baby!
So? What if something heavy fell on you, like a church? You could still die.
Fry
He's a saint!
Well, this is the real me. But I can explain: We all have needs. Mine was to make it with five weirdos and have them scrub my five castles. I gave you all what you wanted and of course I made a few bucks letting Pig watch through the two-way mirror. Can any of you say you wouldn't have done the exact same thing in my p...
Alcazar
Give me the keys, Magoo.
Stop!
Fry
Whoa! What's with Big Butt?
That's it!
Amy
That new robot is great, huh? Sure made me look like a pile of crap!
Presenting Mom's Friendly Robots.
Mom
Or we could live underground with the mutants. A little fire'll show 'em who's boss!
It's tempting, but, well, I am already kinda settled in here.
Fry
Eh, I've heard better.
Thank you, steward. Wiggles, weren't you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain?
Bender
Scarab, four arm, bird, bird, bird!
Oh no you don't.
Nibbler
How's this going to get us to Boston?
But Boston's 300 miles away and Bender kicked our horse to death! We'll never get there in time! Unless you have another invention up your sleeve! Foh!
Professor Farnsworth
Timber!
Yes! The rich get richer!
Bender
I'll get my kit.
Good. Leela, Bender, we're going grave robbing.
Fry
He's a witch!
That's normal. Next patient.
Zoidberg
He drags in a stone slab with the Last Supper on it.]
Not even a card.
Fry
Lies! Lies and slander!
Plus, they're making bootleg beer inside company property!
Cubert
Oh, it's awful, Kwanzaabot. Everyone hates me.
Yo, Kringle! What happened to you, doll?
Kwanzaabot
hat's funny!
Eh.
Bender
I am Bender. Please insert girder.
I downloaded his brain. Everything that is Bender is right here. His mind, his memories, his in-your-face interface.
Morgan
You forget, Leela, I'm Bender, owner of disguise.
Bender, you can't crash a mob wedding.
Leela
Here we go. I'm your top of the line, Mom.
Jerk!
Refreshment-bot
OK, fine. Fire!
Bender, If we don't survive the attack, I want you to know ... I love you.
Lisa
Ten more processors for me. Once I install these, I'll have access to the loftiest realms o' thought!
I hear turkey. Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop Oh, boy. Ay... Ay. Ay.
Zoidberg
Many said I was too extreme when I first called for the annihalation of the human species, as well as some of the more cunning monkeys. But after living on Earth I can tell you that I am, if anything, too merciful!
Ahh! It's good to hear his voice!
Fry
And I still barely felt anything. Goodnight, losers!
No, I'm wrong. The empathy chip was running at triple capacity.
Farnsworth
Fellas, please. I'm in love!
Security to bar area. Security to bar area.
iZac
That'll be easy. I never wear the damn thing.
You'd better keep your nose clean.
Smitty
Yivo bites again, but Bender leaps to another horn.] Missed me again! Me footcup! I'll stab you!
Take that, you scurvy Kraken! That'll teach you to despoil our human booty!
Bender
I'm processin' so fast, it's like I can anticipate that the ceilin' fan's gonna fall an' knock Zoidberg unconscious.
What's happened to you, mon? I thought you liked beer an' knock-knock jokes.
Hermes
I am Bender. Please insert girder.
We'll never find that disk will we, Bender?
Fry
So I gotta hide forever?!
Robot Stack grabs an iPod from his right pocket and hands it to Bender.] I don't want it anymore.
Robot Stack
We've got to stem this tidal wave of moral decay. It's time to shut down nappster.com!
Hooray! Finally you're standing up to him.
Zoidberg
Oh, no! They're forming Gigatron!
We were defeated in battle.
Professor Farnsworth
Well, it's 30 bucks, and there's a $10-mail-in rebate. When the League of Robots hears about this, they won't be pleased. Oh, you'll pay, my darlings.
Really?
Leela
Don't stop now, you'll need some pants to go with that outfit.
Bigger! Bigger!
Bender
Interesting. No, wait, the other thing ... tedious.
Whoa! They discovered an intact, 20th century pizzeria, just like the one I used to work at.
Fry
It's all my fault. Malachi, tell thy people that the Lord is moved by their plight.
Nay. Like most of your followers, I was maimed while building the Great Brewery. Others died from the pestilent fumes it spewed forth. And, of course, the liquor industry attracted organised crime.
Malachi
End of preview. Expand in Data Studio
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