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Post: I'm putting my extremely profoundly disabled 7 year old into a residential facility so I can forget he exists. I'm not sorry. |
Top Comment: Take your other son to Disney or some other vacation for a week on the 30th. |
Also, get counseling for him and for you when you get home. |
Post: I added Tabasco to Wendy’s chili and used it to get second place in a chili cook off. |
Top Comment: Work smart not hard |
Post: Cop pulled me over and I called 911 and lied to get out of going to jail. |
Top Comment: I once got out of a ticket because the cop got called to another scene... not my doing, but I was sure thankful! |
Post: I used to bully my disabled brother for years |
Top Comment: I am disabled and able since birth. I am so happy to know you want to treat your brother better. I have been told by my mom more than once that she doesn't love me more because I am handicapped and she does not know how to love me more. She rubs it in my face every time she wants to hang out with my brother and sister who are not disabled. I have never been jealous of my siblings. I like that our mom loves them. I know it would break their hearts if they found out our mom loves them more than me. I will never tell them. I have never resented them or whatever. I don't say this to you to make you feel bad. I just wanted to show you my support, even though our situations are polar opposites. I am sure your brother loves you unconditionally and will accept your apology. He is lucky to have a brother who loves him. :) I hope this can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship between you and your brother. \*huge hug\* I am rooting for both you and your brother during this painful time. |
Post: I’ve stolen hundreds of dollars worth of water just by saying 5 words |
Top Comment: I absolve you of your sins. Enjoy your water. |
Post: I thought I was a pretty good dad until I was tested |
Top Comment: I worked nights back when my daughter was little. She was always very well behaved and when I'd sleep a little longer through the mornings she'd just watch her movies till I got up. One morning I woke up to her poking me in the face. I looked up and said "hey, what's up?" And she said "you didn't make me lunch!" I looked over at the clock and it was 2pm. "Oh damn, i'm sorry sweetie lemme get up". She looked at me with an angry smirk and said "You didn't make me breakfast either!" |
Then |
https://imgur.com/a/y5DH5 |
Now |
https://imgur.com/a/uBzJh |
Edit: Thanks to this post my daughter joined reddit. :) it's a good day. |
Post: I run a fake restaurant on a delivery app. |
Top Comment: I think I probably ordered from you. So much shitty delivery food. |
Post: My little cousin cracked my iPhone XS Max screen. Made my aunt pay $329 knowing I have apple care and it only cost me $29 |
Top Comment: I mean it was still basically that much if you have to pay for apple care |
Post: I stole over $20,000 in a very creative way in the 90's |
Top Comment: [removed] |
Post: I killed an elderly man in front of his wife and basically his entire family. |
Top Comment: I am so surprised that woman had so much maturity to tell you that and hugged you. Classy. |
Post: I slept with my daughters ex boyfriend, he got me pregnant and I had an abortion. They got back together and got married. |
Top Comment: And THIS is the reason I come here! God damn. |
Post: I overcharged over 5,000 people. |
Top Comment: That's how the mafia works. |
Post: Found out my dead best friend was in love with my wife |
Top Comment: He not only loved your wife. He loved you just as much. |
Post: I cheated to get my bachelors and my masters degree |
Top Comment: The top student that our department had cheated her way through school and only took classes that her friends had taken (they had the exams). Cried to professors about how hard it was for her and got them to raise her grades. She is in all of our magazines, posters, and banners. If I sound salty is because I am |
Edit: This blew up way more than I expected, thank you so much for the gold! |
And man some of you are a little toxic, I’m certain she didn’t sleep with anyone, our faculty is pretty awesome I guess just shitty at handling uncomfortable situations. If anyone wants an update, she graduated but changed career paths, she was in a STEM subject and now is working for a marketing agency, it is what it is, at least I’m working in the field of the degree I paid for. |
Post: My Aunt hit my mother so I dragged her across the floor and punched her till she passed out |
Top Comment: [deleted] |
Post: Any post with Avengers:Endgame spoilers will result in a permanent ban |
Top Comment: They all win because they all participated. |
Post: Whenever I see someone in an expensive car I purposely choose to not look at them so as not to inflate their ego. |
Top Comment: I do the same with loud or revving engines. And loud music. A small "fuck you" |
Post: I gave a lactose intolerant customer dairy on purpose |
Top Comment: Rule number one is you don’t fuck with the people who make your food. |
Post: I purposely go wash all the dishes at holiday dinners so I don’t have to talk to anyone |
Top Comment: Because you're anti-social or because you don't like your family? |
Post: My 2 nephews are complete shitheads, so I get them gifts that are noticeably inferior to the gifts I give their cousins. |
Top Comment: I am the oldest of 6. Last year I got all of my siblings great personal gifts except my little brother who had been a complete asshole all year so I got him a book entitled “How to not be an asshole” |
I think he got the message |
Edit: wow thanks for the karma and the gold |
Here’s the link to the book How Not to Be a Dick: An Everyday Etiquette Guide https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936976021/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_U4AiCbB1RSWGA |
Post: Before I went to bed, I called my girlfriend with a low battery and told her I'll talk to her until my phone died. She began talking about the Bachelor and I pretended my phone died by hanging up. |
Top Comment: Maybe she started to talk about the Bachelor because she knew you would hang up |
Post: After 13 years clean and 8 years of marriage, I did heroin 3 weeks ago and almost came close to fully relapsing. |
Top Comment: Don’t give up. No cure to addiction and the goal is to learn how to live with it. Keeping a secret and trying to ignore cravings will just force you to relapse and hide. Don’t set yourself up. |
Go to a meeting, an outpatient program, or something that supports your struggle. |
Post: I Lured a Homeless Woman to My House, Hoping To Fuck Her |
Top Comment: Now that’s a confession |
Post: 8 years ago I caused a UFO panic |
Top Comment: This is amazing. Funnily enough, I wrote the article you cited. And today, I'm the sole reporter working the late shift at the same news organization. I just looked at our traffic and was like WTF? Why is this 8 year old UFO article suddenly buzzing? Cheers mate, I remember that day well. Created some fun out of what I recall was a slow news day. |
Post: I kept the display tablets at Target instead of destroying them |
Top Comment: I would much rather hear that people like you are taking them home and using them , or, giving them to people who could use them - instead of throwing them away. |
Post: I faked my resume and now I'm in the shit.......... |
Top Comment: you're going to have to play it off, b. |
watch the movie catch me if you can to motivate you |
good luck |
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This dataset was prepared by taking into account the 500 most popular posts of all time in the confession subreddit and the comments with the most votes on these posts.
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