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Post: I snooped on the CEO's email account and got myself unfired
Top Comment: Hell yes bro, that's how you fucking do it.
Post: I just told someone I was too tired from day-drinking to hang out but it's actually because I had eight hotdogs today and I feel like I'm going to die.
Top Comment: No one wants to admit eating nine cans of ravioli
Post: I give my 3 year old son counterfeit fast food
Top Comment: this is brilliant.
Post: When I was younger I saw a lady drop 100 dollars, I picked it up and used all of it on Yu-GI-Oh cards right in front of her
Top Comment: I once found 10 dollars on the floor in GameStop, I left it there as I assume it was someone’s else’s and I didn’t want to steal. When I went to pay for my game I noticed I was 10 dollars short. I connected the dots and those 10 dollars on the floor where mine to begin with. I went back and they were gone. I had to go back to my dad and tell him I lost part of the money he gave me. he screamed and shit but went and bought the game for me.
Post: I found my Brothers suicide note on Reddit and didn't tell anyone.
Top Comment: I got halfway through your post before realizing he is still alive.
Kind of changed what I was reading.
Post: I work in a bakery
Top Comment: [deleted]
Post: For three years, I switched my partner's tea in the morning because I couldn't deal with his fake snobbery.
Top Comment: I can feel the Britishness in this post
Post: I took a shit in my roommates $300 Uggs because he had sex with my boyfriend on my bed when I was in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt
Top Comment: [deleted]
Post: When I was in middle school my friend (J) told me that he liked a girl (L). L then told me the next day that she liked J. But they both told me not to tell anyone. So I didn't. Lmao
Top Comment: True neutral
Post: When I nannied I would read the journal of the mom.
Top Comment: That is sad.
​
My ex wife had post pregnancy depression. We almost divorced at that stage.. but that is not a time I would want over in my life again.
Post: I lied to a blind neighbor and told him I moved away
Top Comment: I bet he could smell you and knew
Post: I call fake orders in to a pizza place to get free pizzas.
Top Comment: This reminds me of when I worked at a pizza place. The owner was a cool guy and joked around a lot. A co-worker's grandpa ordered pizza one night and never showed. The co-worker came in for work the next day, and the owner said some joke along the lines of, "Amanda, tell your grandpa thanks for not picking his pizza up last night. It was *DELICIOUS!* Her response: "My grandpa died last night." Her grandpa pulled over having a heart attack on his way to pick up the pizza and died in his car. It was innocent because he had no way to know, but pretty shitty time to joke about a no-show.
Edit: For those asking why she came in the next day: I don't know that we got paid bereavement time there (I doubt we did, but I can't verify because I never had to check into it). If it wasn't paid, I'm guessing she needed the money. If it was paid, she may have planned to use it closer to/on the date of the funeral.
When my grandpa passed (while I was at a different employer, which was in retail), his viewing was on Black Friday. I worked that morning and spent the rest of the day at the funeral home. I only used one day of bereavement for the day off the funeral. I don't remember if I was scheduled the day after he passed, but if I was, I was there.
Post: I plagiarised my entire dissertation and I got caught.
Top Comment: Hey, I cant speak for your friends but I am a mom, so here is my mom perspective, since I sense your parents and I share the same thinking. I wouldn't want my son carrying this weight on his own. Will I be disappointed? Sure I will, but I carried my boy under my heart for 9 months and if I were to know he carried this secret on his own for so long I would be heartsick. I would want to support him, and listen to him and just hug him the fuck so tight because people make mistakes, but these are the ones you learn from. I would want to make him tea and carefully discuss the way forward and how to manage the outcome, and perhaps getting him therapy because I sense more than just a feeling of being helpless.
But most of all, I will just make sure my home is a safe space for him to deal with all of this. My love for him wouldnt change, my support wouldnt change and I would keep sacrificing for my kid. I would not see it as a spit to the face. I would be stern and honest in my disappointment but never ever would my love and support as a parent waiver.
Talk to your parents, you are going to need them more than ever. Talk to your councillor. Talk to your hearing committee. Best of luckxxx
Post: I stole my friend's folder in 3rd grade, and looking back I deserved to get sent to a mental hospital for what I did.
Top Comment: [deleted]
Post: I intentionally ask women well above the legal age limit(alcohol) to show me their ID
Top Comment: I remember back when i worked as a cashier my manager said i have to ID everyone. She then informed me old ladies will find it flattering.
Old dudes tho? They don't like that shit.
Post: I gave my friend a fatal dose of heroin and it still haunts me
Top Comment: I gave my friend the number of my connect and he got high and hanged himself that hight. It still haunts me. But I am trying to make living amends. You're doing the same thing by staying sober. That's all you can do. 💜
Post: When I was 16, I used to mow the lawn for extra cash and I realised that if raised the mower to the highest level, it cut less grass and allowed me to mow twice as much. I was mowing three times a week at one stage and my dad just thought he had overly fertile lawn.
Top Comment: My parents had one of those manual push mower things when we were kids... i applaud your brilliance and envy your childhood.
Post: I make copies of other people’s keys for personal use
Top Comment: It’s a dangerous game, which you obviously know, so why do you still play it?
Post: I used to work at a fast food restaurant that gave out lollipops in its kids meals. Whenever two meals were ordered, I'd put two lollies in one of the meals, and only one in the other, just to imagine the issues it would cause between the two kids.
Top Comment: Now THIS is why I follow this sub
Post: I stole my dads car at night to lose my virginity to a chick i had never met.
Top Comment: Now this.. this is a confession!
Post: I made my brother think he has alopecia for the last fifteen years.
Top Comment: LOL he has probably given other alopecia sufferers lots of false hope over the years, telling them how great that special shampoo worked for him.
Post: I shit on my neighbors door step
Top Comment: That last line really got me.
Post: I am accidentally my son’s ghostwriter.
Top Comment: Same thing happened to me from the other side. My parent wrote a research paper to help me out. I was shocked when the teacher had me stand up in class and read *my* paper as an example of what all students should be doing. I felt like a total fraud.
Check in w your son that he's not stressing over this too much, eh?
Post: I lie about having my university degree and it got me a great job
Top Comment: You should probably stay at that job your entire career. There would be a huge risk of getting caught if you applied for a different company now.
Post: When I was a server I threw a customers phone into a trash compactor
Top Comment: I would have done the same exact thing
Post: I pretended I was selling something on Craigslist and got two strangers to meet awkwardly
Top Comment: Was anyone else hoping that the end of the story would go ...
“They instantly connected and decided to catch a movie together since they’d come all the way down to the mall anyway
That was five years ago. They’re getting married today and they asked me to officiate”