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Rom-com gold right there IMHO |
Post: When I was in high school, I attached clear packing tape to a dollar and put it into a vending machine. Right before the dollar went all the way in, I would pull it out, which allowed me to get a soda and 50 cents change. |
Top Comment: Remorse is sodapressing. |
Post: After my bike was locked by campus police for being illegally parked, I damaged property to get my bike free and get out of a ticket |
Top Comment: Stopped by a local college to pop into the bookstore to buy a present from my cousin who had just graduated high school and would be attending there in the fall. Get back to my car to find a ticket, for not parking in the designated for students area and for not having a permit sticker. |
Head over to the security office to explain I'm not a student, they're having none of it, telling me if I don't pay up they're going to put a hold on my account so i can't get my grades for the semester or some shit. Explain again and again I am not, and will never be a student here. |
Ok guys. I'm just gonna leave then. Was weird as hell. |
Post: Our first daughter was raped at 14 and we raised the baby as our own child. Our first daughter committed suicide and we carried on raising the baby. My grandchild thinks we're her parents and I cant bring myself to tell her the truth even now |
Top Comment: Please seek a trusted therapist so that you can talk through your options and have support. You two are both incredibly strong and kind people, don't forget to be kind to yourselves too |
Post: I lied about my height for most of high school |
Top Comment: I am a part of a very tall family where all men over 18 are above 6 foot with one notable exception: my uncle who claims to be 6 foot even though we all know he is 5'10". |
Post: I stole $40 from my mom to buy a can of Pringles |
Top Comment: Lol 40 dollars for Pringles |
Post: I canceled my boss's birthday party at the last minute |
Top Comment: You should have called back a few minutes later to setup another reservation with approximately the same amount of people for 15 minutes after. That way, they would be too booked when they got there. |
Post: I destroyed my work project, and I hope I get fired |
Top Comment: Good on you, OP! I hope that you find a job that values your commitment, loyalty, and astute problem solving skills, and that you shit in that mustard before giving the asshat another deli sandwich. Also, see if that other manager will discreetly give you a good reference! |
Post: I anonymously put my friends phone number on a gay Craigslist add |
Top Comment: I can't do that b/c my friend is gay and this would bring him pleasure |
Post: I eat fries out of the bag on the drive home and then take the one which have the most left for myself. |
Top Comment: You're just taking what you're owed for being the one to go pick it up. It's your delivery fee. |
Post: I’ve been high for over a year |
Top Comment: Make sure to take a tolerance break once a while so it’ll take less for you to get high therefore saving you money in the long run |
Post: I made my school believe they broke my iPad and made them buy me a new one. |
Top Comment: in my school they actually broke my phone but they just told me to fuck off and that it was my fault because I shouldnt have brought it to school to beging with |
Post: I once skunked a bottle of wine given to a bullying manager on my team then gave it to her |
Top Comment: Good thing the company realized how toxic she was. Shitty managers are bad for everyone. |
Post: I (25M) had sex for money with people ( Males and females) for money for an entire year to pay for my rent and my thyroïd operation. |
Top Comment: Are you bisexual? Or did you force yourself to have sex with both sexes? |
Post: At my first job, I accidentally took the key to the storage room home with me in my shirt pocket. I didn’t even realize I was the one who took it until after they busted the door down and replaced the lock! I actually helped look for it lmao! I never told anyone and still have the key to this day. |
Top Comment: I did that once and they had to get the lock replaced. I never said a word lol |
Post: I used to work in a shoe shop and deliberately sold a customers shoes whilst she was trying on shoes, just to make her buy a new pair. |
Top Comment: I would rather do almost any other job than that |
Post: I sold sodas in high school after a ban of soft drinks was put into place to pay for senior fees. I ratted out my compettition. |
Top Comment: [deleted] |
Post: I won my sister her only hs scholarship |
Top Comment: She should have given you at least half of the prize.. You're a good person for helping her by the way!! |
Post: i purposely left keys i knew that my boss needed in her locked office to show how dumb it is to have one entire set of keys for three different restaurants and kitchens |
Top Comment: If you don't trust any of your employees to hold a set of keys, that is a problem in itself |
Post: When I was a kid I would wipe my ass with towels that were hanging up. |
Top Comment: “Why does EVERYONE in this house keep getting pink eye??” |
Post: When I'm constipated I envision myself as a chicken who must lay an egg so a poor farmer can eat breakfast. |
Top Comment: Top 5 favorite confession. Lmao holy shit. |
Post: I pretended to be the merch guy at a concert so I could steal t-shirts. |
Top Comment: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir Merch is hard to come by... |
Post: [No Regrets] After a briefly successful suicide attempt 8 months ago, I visited the bathroom I died in and words cannot express how grateful I am to be alive right now. |
Top Comment: Congratulations Op, glad you got a second chance at life |
Post: I kicked a kid in his balls and he had to have one removed. |
Top Comment: Holy f*ck! The size of a tennis ball?! You must have kicked faster than the speed of light! |
Post: I trash my coworkers mugs and dishes when they leave it soaking in the community sink. |
Top Comment: I hope the janitor doesn’t get blamed for throwing things away... |
Post: I met my current boyfriend by slipping him my number while he was on a date with someone else and I was their server. |
Top Comment: I don’t know how I’d feel if I was in the other girl’s shoe. Would’ve hurt me quite bad if I was into him. |
Post: For every written exam in college political science, I spent the 90 minutes doodling and wiring nonsense only to get up and return the pre-written bluebook copied from my friend who took the class the previous semester.... I got a B. he got a C. |
Top Comment: My professor had us turn in the blue books before exams you lucky prick |
Post: I always thank Siri and Alexa because I feel bad bossing them around and also I want the AIs to remember my kindness once the robot uprising is upon us. |
Top Comment: By posting this online you are letting them know that your kindness is not sincere. You will not be spared. |
Post: I conspired with our local brewpub to stop selling my husband growlers of IPA because the beer made him smell so bad. |
Top Comment: [removed] |
Post: I ended a girl’s gymnastics career when I karate kicked a door open and broke her toe |
Top Comment: "I'm about to end this girl's whole career" |
Post: I stole and used my college roommate’s fleshlight, then threw it out |
Top Comment: He knew you took it. Also if he really bought it as a joke and was never going to use it, don't you think he noticed it was gone a little fast? |
You ejaculated inside the flashlight your friend ejaculated into. That's a new level of sloppy seconds. |
Post: I sent a prostitute to my boss' hotel room |
Top Comment: Lol the lady said “white man sent me” and he knew |