text
stringlengths 29
5.29k
|
---|
I never liked swimming in the ocean, because I couldn't help imagining that something would reach up from the fathomless depths and drag me under.
Until today, it never occured to me that the same could be true for the sky. |
For a bull so young, so wild, I remember thinking it was strange that his paddock was quite so close to the town.
After climbing in with him, I met his fixed, violent stare as steam spiralled from his nostrils, his flanks twitching with raw power as he pawed the earth excitedly, but mostly I remember imagining the havoc he would wreak – and the adrenaline I felt – as he surged past me through the open gate, into the world. |
“I’m sorry sir, but Dracula doesn’t seem like someone who’d do something like that.
“What’s your blood type and were your veins visible cause you might have been asking for it?” |
The doctor told us today our son had a severe peanut allergy, and I vowed to do whatever it took to keep him safe.
The first step will be to gradually increase his tolerance to eating them every day, so he doesn’t have a bad reaction if he eats too much at once. |
When my mom came to pick me up from my session, the therapist’s concern was plastered all over her face to an unprofessional degree.
The bill I received soon after had “family” scratched out and a note written in the margin reading, “I don’t know who the woman in my session before you was, but she sure knew you and I’m inclined to believe your sleep paralysis episodes aren’t purely illusionary.” |
"Mommy this glass of milk tastes funny" said my little toddler
" If you drink all the milk mommy's biggest mistake will go away and mommy will finally be truly happy " |
I carefully squatted behind one of the desks as the guy with the gun looked around the darkened classroom.
Taking a few tiny steps side to side, I suddenly regretted asking Mommy for the light-up sneakers at the store. |
The orderly stopped me from putting my newborns car seat in the passengers seat when we left the hospital.
The firefighters said she would have been okay if she was in the front seat during the accident. |
“Shall we eat?” I asked my wife who sat across from me at the dining table, a disconcerting grin frozen on her face.
“I’m just finishing up in here, so don’t wait for me,” she called back from the bedroom. |
“Put your belongings down and step forward!” crowed the officer through the patrol vehicle’s bullhorn, as the group of illegal border crossers blinked in its glaring searchlights.
“Got another group of breeders fleeing to Mexico.” he radioed back to HQ, as he scowled at the line of ragged, terrified young women shivering in the desert night. |
As I looked back at my sweet baby sleeping in her carseat,
I wish I'd kept my eyes on the road. |
"When I told you to stand up to your bullies, I didn't mean this," I said to my son as I washed the blood out of his school shirt.
"Now just tell me where the rest of him is and I will deal with it." |
My wife told me that I should "stop complaining" as "most people are stuck in jobs they don't like for 40 years and don't do anything about it".
But I will do something, as soon as I have found a branch strong enough to support my weight on a rope. |
"Man, you guys are being awful quiet today!" laughed our teacher.
We all saw the empty-eyed... thing... lurking just behind his shoulder, but not one of us dared say a thing as it laid a spindly finger up to its thin lips. |
An AirTag fell out of my purse.
I don't own an AirTag. |
Jill muted her audio before she stepped away from the video conference to answer the doorbell.
Five minutes later, a blood-soaked, gloved hand came into frame, waved and typed "Jill says goodbye" into the group chat. |
I was so hungry from not eating on patrol.
I didn't mind the boxes of food saying "Not for human consumption", because it was that or starve. |
The interrogator slapped him again, shouting, "Tell us the exact coordinates or we will resume your torture."
The last slap was so hard the only thing Murphy could hear in his head was, "I'm sorry but your neuralink connection has been lost." |
Me and my friend positioned our camera and lay flat between the rails, the next train would just pass over us.
Meanwhile, safety inspector Jones ordered train number 563 to the repair shop immediately due to a corroded rod protruding underneath coach 15. |
“She’s just a dog, ignore her barking and she’ll quieten Down”
I stared at my owner then walked away, walking on all 4s was becoming easier and my bark was sounding more real! |
During cpr if you break any ribs it’s a sign you’re doing it correctly!
This works as an excellent excuse as to why there’s a dead body with broken ribs and you also look like a hero! |
When I died, I found myself floating down a long dark tower tunnel towards a flickering light where my husband, who had died before me, was waiting for my arrival.
Apparently, killing him, chopping him into pieces, and feeding his bloody body parts to the sharks was not enough to let me get away from him forever. |
Upon the demon asking for my first born child in exchange for our deal, I happily accepted, thinking I could just have another kid.
After my first son was born, I thought that it was weird that he had horns on each side of his head. |
I’m so glad my daughter is participating in school again after she got kidnapped.
I just don’t understand why she needs a wire hanger, we have plenty of wooden ones at home! |
I reminded the boomer every minute they waste arguing with me is one minute closer to their death and minute away from their loved ones.
As he got the messaged and started to walk away, I put on my robe, picked up my scythe, and followed. |
With the help of an IP tracker, Ada found out where her boyfriend lived and braved an 11-hour flight to meet him for the first time.
When the bus dropped her off at an AI testing facility instead of a residence, she realized at once that this was all the closure she would ever get. |
We thought the development of immortality would be miraculous.
It just meant those in power would now never change. |
My grandfather used to raise horses for a living until he passed away.
I didn't know they could eat meat until that happened. |
I hadn't seen my ex-husband in over a decade, but we managed to pick up right where we left off all those years ago.
When I finally found the scar from the last time I caught up with him, we fell right back into our old rhythm of him screaming and me cutting gleefully. |
"Here, honey, use this spray to scare the monsters in your walls away, then go to sleep."
The monster crawled from under the bed and hastily said: "Don't use that, the walls are full of bees and you'll only make them angrier!" |
The crowd cheered as the space crew returned from a year long mission
Their cheer turned to horror when they saw the surviving astronaut feasting on the remains of his crew |
“We have completed your toddler’s psychological evaluation and are sorry to say his behaviors are the result of a mental disorder for which there is no effective treatment.”
The state-appointed psychiatrist placed a hand on my shoulder but I saw no empathy in his eyes when he said, “I’m afraid the courts will be receiving our recommendation in his civil-maintenance euthanasia case.” |
The guys grinned when i told them that i smashed my wife last night.
Those grins didn't last for long as i pulled her smashed limp head out of my backpack. |
The crowed jeered, teased and taunted me, staring at me with their pale faces and tiny breakable bodies.
"Just wait until that gate opens", I thought to myself, after all, this is the San Fermin Festival, and I am just one of the many bulls they will be running from. |
The "Things" pretending to be police officers have been banging on my door for a little while now.
As I light this match and stare at the sea of gasoline that now bathes my living room, I have a final comforting thought. " They can't get me anymore." |
If you get lost in the mirror maze, be careful not to look at one mirror for too long.
If you stare at your warped reflection enough, your body will change to look like it. |
The doctor told me I had been legally dead for a minute and 15 seconds.
75 seconds was all it took for me to know no man, woman or child deserves the horrors of what comes next. |
The midwife handed me the infant and told me what to do to get him to latch and nurse.
She sternly demanded I quit crying over my own newborn who was just taken away as I needed all my energy to feed Domina' offspring. |
My boyfriend has never paid this much attention to me before.
Too bad it’s cause I’m bleeding out. |
I’ve recently learnt morse code
Why is my cat saying my full legal name? |
As a pantheoner, I've never been afraid of corpses or "spirits"
But from the man who came in late hours hoping to fulfill their desires. |
I did kill a man once, on accident.
I usually only go for women. |
A doctor taught me about ectopic pregnancy while I was at the hospital
Which was strange, because I was supposed to be checked for a brain tumor.
|
As the train kept barreling towards its destination, I wasn't able to get out of the way.
I hit the brakes as soon as I could, but I couldn't stop fast enough, and soon heard that horrible sound of bones and flesh colliding with metal. |
The doctor announced cheerfully, that I have been legally dead for 35 seconds.
I stared in horror, unable to move or scream, as they started cutting me open for my organs.
|
After the gruelling hours, I finally submitted my masterpiece.
As I sat back from my two-sentence-horror, the pile of unfinished scripts caught my eye and I cried for my unfulfilled dreams. |
"It was everything that was promised and more, my every worry eased and desire indulged."
"So no, Your Honor, I cannot feel remorse over my actions upon resuscitation," I said, raising my voice to be heard over the sobs from the courtroom gallery. |
"I can still taste it..." the patient slowly recounted to her psychiatrist, "his blood on my lips, in my throat-"
As the psychiatrist pretended to listen intently, he checked off a box in his paperwork indicating that the medically induced vampirism had successfully overcome her immune system. |
"Chivalry isn't dead," said the smartly-dressed woman as the elderly man held the elevator door open for her.
"No, but you are," he replied quietly as the heavy metal doors slowly slid closed. |
My service dog is trained to react to people, so I can tell the difference between real ones and hallucinations.
I still don’t know why he ignored the guy who threw me against the wall last night. |
"Thank you all so much for your contribution to our newly established AI program, Collective Conscious Intelligence..."
The doctor said proudly to the group of terrified tourists struggling against the straps on their gurneys. |
It was truly amazing to witness Aurora Borealis where I live, so far south.
Even more incredible is how clearly visible the lights are during noon! |
I heard the sirens going off in every direction around me and soldiers scattered all about.
Not a single head in sight. |
Darren leaned into the dark cavity where he knew the elevator ran to see if it was coming.
It was: Darren's service is 11AM Thursday |
I close my mouth as gas fills the room
The screams they made stay with me for the rest of my life |
I stare into the red eyes of the man who's about to shoot me.
Then I woke up, terrified, the man was very real and right outside my window, smiling. |
Sometimes the county hospital morgue would send bodies to my funeral home and I would discover they still had a faint pulse.
Fortunately, a quick shot of embalming fluid would usually solve that problem. |
I am lucky to be born with the ability to freeze both time and my aging at the snap of my fingers.
It was all fun and games until I fell down a pit and shattered my spine whilst time was frozen. |
I had pet my dog saying the usual “You’re such a good boy!”
It was not until I looked into his soulless human eyes that I realized his intentions were far from good. |
"Daddy, who's that skinny looking man in the background?" Asked my daughter as we watched the Artemis III moon landing live.
I thought she was just being silly until news came out that hundreds of thousands of children had also seen "it" during the stream. |
The exterminator made his way into my house and to the bathroom after I reported some strange sounds that came from behind the walls only when I shower.
It was after he'd left, that I began wondering why he knew where the bathroom was without even asking. |
I always kept a small peice of my mother with me, where ever I'd go.
But the smell is starting to draw attention. |
My new job as a nightguard at the Wax Museum has been enjoyable, since it's quiet and i get to look at all the wax figures for free.
But it stopped being fun when the wax figures began staring back at me. |
The house was usually quiet when I woke up, my daughter was normally quite noisy.
Couldn't complain though, whatever the wife was cooking for breakfast smelled delicious. |
She thought for sure her Nana would be there to greet her as she passed through the light at the end of the tunnel.
At this point she couldn’t tell if it had been minutes or hours since she’d died but the darkness and silence was really starting to get to her. |
After three decades, the police were able to match the fingerprints and DNA from the murder scene to a suspect.
The evidence matched perfectly to 13-year-old Shaul Deen. |
The survivors tossed the young girl’s decaying body into the ravine, and the ravenous hoard below.
Even in death, she was fated to be consumed. |
My daughter is keeps threatening me to let her outside.
She's not due for another 7 mouths, please help me I can't take the clawing anymore. |
She explained how all those unplayed notes and melodies rattled incessantly in her head driving her insane.
The sickening symphonies inside her mind could only be unleashed through the screams of suffering — specifically, my screams. |
“No, stop, please…”, the woman cried in vain as eager hands tore her blouse open.
Motherhood was new to her, but even she knew infants don’t savage their mothers and eat their flesh. |
My sister thanked me warmly for my babysitting job, describing in detail how I always seemed to turn up at her house whenever she needed a caretaker for young Lucinda.
I had no idea what she was talking about. |
We listened keenly to the strange radio station that only seemed to transmit buzzing...
Then the broadcast went silent. |
as the new millennium began, I kicked the chair over, knowing I'm financially ruined.....
Why did I put my life savings into google? |
I didn't know how my wife was going to react when I took my daughter to the ice cream store without telling her
It's no surprise she's startled as she saw us enter the house when she was with our daughter all along. |
“Its just a imaginary friend, she will grow out of it”
That was until we went to celebrate my dead brother’s birthday, and my daughter said it was her imaginary friend.
(true story) |
The Viscount had loaded the carriage with the family bullion in the dead of night, bundled his daughter in and charged the young Driver to evade their pursuers, "Go swiftly boy, and do not stop!"
A few hours in, as the carriage started to slow, the Viscount shouted over the driving rain, "Lad, I warned you, we must make haste!" only to find the Driver's seat empty and two swords in his back. |
I sat on the hard wooden chair in the center of the stage, my arms strapped to the armrests, and I heard someone come up behind me.
I soon felt the dull, aching pain of a scalpel digging into my skin, the sharp snap of a nerve, and the sudden numbness of my arm, while all the audience did was clap and cheer as I screamed in agony. |
The old man had a kindly face and a soothing voice.
Even after he washed my blood off his knife, I could hear him whistling softly to himself |
I comforted my identical twin’s husband as they lowered my twin into the ground .
I kept my smile to myself, knowing my plan to have him to myself worked. |
Martin jumped, startled by the look of terror on the face of the vaguely humanoid horror
"Thank god it's just a human" said the shadowy figure in the pantry before they both slowly turned to face the footsteps coming from the dining room |
My mom told me to put two tablespoons of sugar in my tea for the best taste.
Two table spoons of salt: Hello 😈 |
As my eyes closed for the final time, I let myself think about the last 85 years of sheer hell that was my life, and welcomed the final blissful release of death that was upon me.
"Thank you for choosing Better Life Virtual Reality, please wait while a technician disconnects you." |
McDonalds ice cream machine wasn’t broken today
the discrepancy caused a tear in the space-time continuum and i died |
"We watched as the water pulled further back towards the sea"
But then the sun light turned into darkness. |
The texture of the meat was different to what I was used too.
Seeing the cutesy flower tattoo on it made me realise why. |
So my friend had an accident, end up getting his leg surgically removed but being the eccentric type, decided to have a cook out with it, we were all curious to see what human flesh tastes like.
I didn't realise how very very much I would enjoy it. |
"1, 2, 3, 4...," the classroom was silent except for the shaky counting.
I jotted bulleted notes on my docket as the coroner went around the room and kept counting, "...5, 6...7..." |
Ever since my wife became completely paralysed, the only way she's been to speak to me was through a neural implant in her brain.
But for some reason, she hasn't said a word since OpenAI was shut down for unethical business practices. |
As I played with my daughter in the park, she pointed to the empty swing beside her and said, “Look, mommy, my new friend wants to join us.”
But when I glanced over, there was no one there, just the chilling sensation of someone watching. |
My wife suddenly walked into the room and gave me the “we need to talk” look.
I almost choked on my toenails as I quickly scrambled around and threw the nail clippers away, desperate to hide the evidence. |
As I chew on the girl's bones, I wonder which of the two horrified Father enough to put me here:
My form, or what it did to Mother when I came out with my bull's horns? |
You hear some strange sound which seemed to come from outside your house.
So you get out of your room to go and check the through windows but you realize the sound didn't come from outside. |
AITAH for sending my wife flowers on Mother’s Day?
It’s not easy to arrange for such a beautiful bouquet to be sent from death row, but I wanted to remind her that she used to have children to love. |
“S-sorry, I di-didn’t mean to wake up,” I said in a speech half slurred, slowed down, and with my hand outstretched.
The surgeon looked shocked, scalpel still in hand, as I tugged onto their coat mid surgery. |
Last night, I spent hours crawling around hiding the rat traps where they were most likely to catch a curious nose or unwary paw.
This morning, I sat in my spot overlooking the dog park, eagerly awaiting the coming chaos and carnage. |
As I breathed my last after being shot in the chest, I saw my daughter being dragged into their car
I wish I hadn't installed a time bomb under money in the luggage, believing that the kidnappers would spare her with me |
"Enjoying this, Ares?"
A soldier said, as the deafening sounds of an artillery barrage were slowly replaced by a sadistic, maniacal laugh. |
I always told my brother, "no matter how polite, never invite Jehovah's Witnesses into your home".
Seeing him on the floor, drained of blood and pale save for the two holes on his neck, I wish he listened. |
Ever since I was younger, the trees in the forest screamed at night.
Now that I've found the bodies, I know my father was never actually a lumberjack. |
Signing up to beta test escape rooms sounded like a great way to meet people and make new friends.
We’ve been locked in so long I’ve lost track of time but thanks to my new friends there’s plenty to eat. |
End of preview. Expand
in Dataset Viewer.
No dataset card yet
- Downloads last month
- 5