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It felt like a booger so I picked my nose.
While I drilled and drilled and drilled Irealized that this time I went too deep and soon haf paeyd ov mg braib in mo hNcss. |
When I heard that the new robot wives could look like anyone and perform any expected task, no one was more excited to get one than me, despite them lacking a discernable personality.
I made the swap about a month ago and, thank god, my husband still hasn't noticed I am gone. |
‘Mom, you are the best mom; the most beautiful, loving mother ever!’
The cry from the back seat did not matter, for she continued inching the car ever closer to the edge of the dock. |
As I lay awake in bed, I heard a soft whisper coming from the closet, "I know you're still awake."
But when I turned on the light, the closet was empty, and the voice whispered again, this time right next to my ear. |
My father and I would always move houses during my youth.
Every time we saw my picture on an electric pole, we knew that both of us had to pack up our bags. |
“The neural implant will eliminate Lily’s seizures,” smiled the neurologist.
Seeing us exchange glances, he added, “If cost is a concern, the ad-supported base model is very affordable.” |
As the giant bull hurtled towards me, I ran down the slope, feeling its heat getting closer and closer.
As it ploughed me down, the blood of my broken body staining the bronze, I could faintly hear the screams of the half-dead, charring man inside. |
"You really took a wrong turn, didn't you?" my wife said from the back seat of the car as I drove through the woods.
"JESUS!" I screamed as I drove off the road, for I had buried her ten minutes ago.
|
Anna didn’t have time to read the letter, so she crammed it in her overstuffed bag and left.
But after finding the half-digested corpse of the sender in the walls, she wished that she had. |
I gave up my newborn cause I knew I couldn’t afford to keep it.
And ever since chickens went extinct, selling meat is a great way to get by. |
He wished me goodnight and added the usual possibility of killing me in the morning.
As I listened to the steady beep of the machines keeping me alive I could only hope this time he would follow through. |
When I gained the ability to see physical manifestations of a person’s true self I expected to see signs of inner beauty everywhere.
But everybody I see is covered in gnarled, twitching appendages, drooling wounds, and cracked, festering sores. |
A few of us use morbid jokes as coping mechanisms.
That's why we were so surprised to see the headlines and realized Bill didn't have a sense of humor. |
Entering my home after a long day at work, I find my wife surrounded.
I swatted away the flies surrounding her, before taking a big bite of decaying flesh, knowing that she was mine and mine alone. |
A woman, forever deemed to give birth to stillborn children sat alone.
She's been carrying this one for 18 years in hopes that it'll be alive. |
Ever since I was young I was scared of the gagging sounds I heard outside my room
But now I just feel sad, seeing the uncut ropes.... |
The doctor told me to wait outside as he slid the anesthetic mask over my child’s face.
l watched from outside the locked door, horrified as he operated on my deceased daughter. |
I've always loved how beautiful the full moon was.
So where'd the rest of the moon go? |
The doctor told my friends and family that I had died peacefully in my sleep.
I still felt the pain from my wounds long after they buried me. |
For Mother’s Day I’m having the kids make some cute art projects for their mom!
We caught a few bunnies in the hav-a-hart so we’re gonna make our own lucky rabbits feet! |
“My teacher said that if you point your phone straight up to the night sky and look through the camera you’ll be able to see the Aurora Borealis.”
She didn’t know to warn us about all of the other things, usually invisible, that we would be able to see through our screens tonight. |
An absolute dedication to their deity made the peaceful extraterrestrials easy to manipulate.
Until their God actually showed up. |
"Happy mother's day!"
Shrieked the crazy bitch who eviscerated my pregnant belly in a crude cesarean birth. |
While watching TV, I came across an ad for fake windows that would play whatever you wanted, and I was excited and bought tons of them.
Somebody owed me a debt, and since I wouldn't have the money to get people to hunt him down until the next week, I snuck into his house, covered the windows, and played a loop of men with dark suits walking through the street, resembling the people he had been hiding from for months. |
I found it cool how the floor of one of my friend's room would move until he left me locked inside the room
It wasn't until I would look down at the floor and see that it was made of sandpaper that I would realize my fate |
Damn the internet, they made my son kill himself..
This place is a mess, I gotta start cleaning up all the cans. |
We never trip over nothing.
We just forget about the body we left behind. |
My mother told me that there was a special place for me in Hell since the day I was born.
So I sought a way to put as many of my followers' souls there, including her own. |
I huffed and gasped as quietly as possible, my muscles locked as pain shot through my back and legs.
If I woke him, muscle spasms would be the least of my problems. |
When I asked the goddess for reality manipulation I thought I was being smart.
I didn't feel so smug when i tried to use my powers on my family members the next day and nothing happened. |
My dentist carefully applied his drill to the cavity on my tooth.
I finally let the intrusive thoughts win, and bit down hard. |
Old Poppy likes pointing things at his head and turning them on; cordless drill, electric toothbrush...
Tiring of his senility and soiling himself, I placed a loaded gun in front of him and left for work |
I’ve heard grunting and wheezing coming from my apartments laundry room for days.
Later I found the mangled bodies bleached and battered, my asthmatic father heaving above them.
|
“I’m off the school,” I told my family members, as they sat at the table eating their dinner.
Their lifeless bodies sat there, staring at the bully’s head waved me goodbye, as I prepared to meet with the teacher. |
The book about the girl falling down a rabbit hole was an international success, making its inspiration and author famous
‘Come now, Alice,' Mr Lewis said, ‘lt is time to take more pictures for the collection.’ |
A snowflake, white and crisp, lands on the edge of her lips.
A perfect symmetry of elegance and purity only diluted by the blood from her torn out eyeball. |
As the sun finally sank below the horizon, I breathed a sigh of relief from my hiding place.
"Now I can begin my work," I think, tip-toeing downstairs towards the laughter coming from around the television. |
VR gaming had become hyper realistic over the last few years.
“Are you sure it’s not real?” I asked my friend before he pulled the trigger. |
Tami was only a mother for a few hours.
That was, until she was able to get another one pass the baby ward security. |
The serial killers yearly hunt began by releasing me into the secluded woods of the Bull Lake Grand Lodge estate.
As a Necromancer, I thought it fitting to allow all their former victims to participate in a reverse hunt. |
My priority in creating time travel was to protect my younger self from the shadow that haunted me as a child.
From the ceiling of my childhood room, I watch my younger self staring up at me, shivering and crying in fear, as I have become the shadow that haunted me. |
We had a pleasant evening watching the sunset, followed shortly by the crescent moon.
But why is the light side of the moon facing away from the sun? |
I wish this rock were a tiny pebble.
I wish I didn't have to be the first one to throw it. |
I never believed in a God or an afterlife.
As the hospital room faded to black, I felt myself falling and begun to see the orange glow of the fires of hell coming towards me in the darkness.
|
By the year 2100 no company uses animals for testing anymore
All thanks to the law that all clones wouldn't be called 'humans' or even 'animals' but just 'things' |
It had always been my dream to meet my favourite YouTube star, and when I did l, I asked if she’d like to come home with me.
Lola agreed, and I stole her away from her parents, where we’d do our own private unboxing videos from now on |
The colors danced in the sky in brilliant hues, red and green and gold.
I didn't dare watch as the medical equipment fizzled and pop, and my child breathed their last. |
Sometimes I wonder why we aren’t given everything we are promised
but, knowing how if we spoke we would just be wasting our freedom of speech, because whoever is outside the stair closet isnt going to let it slide |
I thought I could get my life back on track, that I could just have peace.
But she's deleted all the receipts. |
I was surprised to hear my mute best friend speak.
Only, I wish it wasn't because of the fact she was possessed. |
May Antis was the prettiest girl in the bar and I was dumbfounded when I got to take her home for the night.
During our passionate love making she kept calling me a snack and playfully biting my shoulder but as her final bite drew blood I realized why her name sounded so familiar. |
I squinted my eyes at the last field sketch of the missing hiker, depicting what appeared to be dog prints in the mud.
The next three pages only read, “there was no dog,” in a dead language that was impossible for the hiker to know. |
I thought I was going crazy when I heard my mother’s voice coming from the radio.
As my headlights illuminated her shambling, rotten corpse, I wish I was. |
“Wait here” he said turning into the darkness, “I’ll deal with this bullshit and buy you some time.”
But as his blood curdling screams faded away, I knew my time was over, whatever hid in the dark was coming this way. |
I walked in to find my patient unresponsive.
I started CPR, cursing her great grandchildren for not signing the DNR. |
As Dr. Moorecraft open the shipping box in the darkened room, the assistant asked why the huge spider sparkled.
"Nonsense, my dear," he said laughing, "giant male wolf spiders don't sparkle." |
As a CPS worker, I assured the worried mom over the phone that the supervised visits with her estranged husband have been going just fine, but I couldn't have known this time would be different.
The sounds of their terrified screams and pleading behind the deadbolted door wasn't half as unsettling as the silence that followed.
|
My grandfather's dying gift to me was a necklace he made with the last bullet from his WWII rifle, he told me it would bring me luck and keep me safe after his passing.
I wish I could have told the paramedics when they pulled me from my wrecked car, that I could have the nurses as they rolled me past his hospital room, that I could have told the doctors before the MRI pulled my grandfathers bullet to its long-awaited mark. |
As a male doctor, I had always assumed the sobbing women were just being over dramatic as I put the IUDs in and I told them the pain was worth it to not get pregnant.
Now, as I scream and a group of women holding me down force the t-shaped piece of plastic up my uretra, I'm realizing I should have given them actual pain killers during their procedures. |
Two sentence sadness that could be horror to some.
As I hold your hand, watching you breathe, I remember that our contract was for 50 years. It's only been 47 and I don't know what I will do without you. |
One day, my group and I heard a knock on the door.
"I'll get it," said my fellow astronaut. |
I tell people I live alone.
Then I kill them and add the corpse to my collection. |
"I'm going to fucking kill you this time, you fucking bitch!" I screamed to my wife after I woke up tied to our bed
As I looked down and saw the blood soaking through the sheet that covered up to my waist, I heard my wife turn on her NutriBullet. |
The world famous chef said that successful cooking was all about "the mouth feel"
That seemed reasonable until he started trying to insert his fingers between my firmly closed lips. |
My wife stared at me with terror filled eyes as she passed me.
I’d have tried to catch her had I known her parachute had failed. |
I regretted picking the bear.
I finally stopped playing dead once I heard a group of men approaching me on the trail, but to my horror that was only the beginning of my nightmare. |
I had some chocolate on a train, then my hands began turning into chocolate and melting.
A few minutes later, I saw that my hands were not chocolate. |
We profusely thanked mother for the meal.
The tears ran down our faces since we left only her bones as she had requested. |
I lied, cheated, murdered, all in the name of Satan
When the time finally came for me to take my rightful place in hell, the demon at the gate only said, "he doesn't want you." |
It was a cold night
I felt my blood spilling out and my body getting cold around my mothers hands in the basement |
We had decided as a family that at the event of a nuclear war we would die on our terms.
As I was laying my children to rest the emergency broadcaster's voice came through the TV declaring relieved that it was a false alarm |
"It doesn't happened all the time, but God has blessed us with some fresh meat once again" the pastor joyfully said to the group of starving people.
They are too hungry to realize that whenever "God" blesses them with some meat, someone in the group suddenly vanishes. |
The brain chip allows me to link up to the Neural Net so I can work, but it occasionally takes control of my body and forces me to spout advertising slogans.
I'd have spent my life savings on the ad-free version if I knew just how many hate groups, cults, and politicians were buying Neural Net ads. |
Something went horribly wrong in the collider, and particles tunneled to lower energy levels.
The scientists had no chance to react before the universe disappeared. |
I remember hearing the explosions, the alarms, people shouting "evacuate", "get out", "leave them" and "go home and get your kids".
It's been a week since I last ate but thank god the bombs missed the prison water supply. |
I opened my eyes, I saw everything after months of specialists and doctors, 31 operations, and I can finally see it all.
Now what do I do with all the extra eyeballs. |
Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
Being a coroner walking through another primary school will never get easier. |
I managed to use the defibrillator in my patient after their heart stopped
Whatever was inside their chest started revolting and pierced their skin in anger |
"Honey, I think we should buy delicious and farm raised chicken eggs from our own close supermarket, want to go now sweety?" - my wife said.
"Jesus", I thought, "after the implant she sometimes talk like a commercial" |
I had a vision of my descendants, all fodder for beings greater than them, mashed and twisted into mockeries of my form.
Wait, is that a comet I see? |
We were blissful when we heard from other alien life out in the far galaxies
We are now scared as they replied " be quiet, you're going to wake it up"
|
The man curled up into a hiding place as far away from the door as possible, trying to convince himself he was hallucinating.
He was sure he had seen the doorknob turn. |
I’m working very hard to get my book published
I only hope they find the body after I do, so the media covers it as a crime inspired by it and it sells more |
I sat on my knees, facing the wall, a gun to my left and a blade in my jaw.
Each hour that passed brought new horrors to light, so instead of dying I decided to fight. |
The devil called me about a debt that I knew, as a good Christian, he couldn't collect.
But it seems I was mistaken and will spend eternity devoted to his worship because I didn't read the damned Terms of Service. |
My wife wept as the doctor told her our daughter wouldn’t survive past birth and should be aborted.
Buying his co-operation hadn’t been cheap, but my firstborn will be a son, no matter what. |
I guess it's on
said my friend after shattering the Sargeant's head checking for friendly fire |
I smiled fondly at my son as he excited announced that he had finally been called up to the school's handicapped football team.
It had taken me considerable effort to "disappear" his teammate, and I was beginning to wonder when my precious boy would be getting his opportunity to shine. |
I wanted to call my boyfriend to ask him why he had closed the window
As I was taking my phone out of my pocket, in the reflection of the TV I noticed some man hiding behind the sofa |
The Shaman was given sight for the future generations of his lineage.
He didn't know what "abortions" were, but it delighted him to see his family continued with sacrifices to the gods. |
I saw a man in the woods so I went over to say hi.
The last thing I saw was a face without a face. |
Our scarecrow is uncanny it doesn't move
But it started to change it's raggedy cloth with the cloth of my lost cousin everyday |
I told my daddy that my best friend, Billy the stuffed bull, gets mad when he sees the color red.
I then told him what a horrible daddy he is for spilling thick, red liquid from his chest all over the floor, look how he’s making poor Billy very upset!
|
“I saw the elephant’s foot with my own two eyes.”
Then I started seeing my skin blister and boil out. |
“I’ll look so beautiful..”
She said, as she picked up the knife, and began digging at her belly… |
I saw both of my twin sons on the floor gasping for air
Looking at the single epinephrine on the table, i could not think who to save. |
Following the brutal murder of my grandparents my family was tormented by their crime scene photos being shared online.
The authorities finally managed to get the culprit’s IP address, and everyone seems relieved, but no one has seen my brother in weeks… |
I lie against the tree, my leg mauled to pieces by the drugged bear's teeth.
The man holding the chain grins savagely and says, "You shouldn't have chosen the bear." |
The rhythmic thump of the drums echoed through the ancient burial mounds, a haunting melody that lured the unsuspecting and desperate hiker closer.
As the fog rolled in he realized too late that the drumming wasn't a warning, it was an invitation to a feast. |
“All I have left is the rump steak, sir, or a small rack of ribs?” the waiter asked the final table.
He took his orders bravely enough but still screamed like an animal when they put him on the spit. |