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AITA for hiding my controller?

Backstory: So, I got an Xbox one for Christmas that technically me and my sister share. She's 17, I'm 15 and she likes to pretend that she has authority over me. I bought myself custom controller and she likes to use it when she uses the Xbox for Netflix. I'm okay with this. The problem is that she never turns it off when she watches the movie and has a habit to press the sync button so that when I go to play Xbox, the controller is no longer synced and almost out of battery(which I buy myself BTW) . So I decided to start hiding it from her in my room and putting her controller on the table for her to use. She says "it's not as comfortable" AITA for not letting her use my controller?

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aqtrol

AITA For Ratting Out My Supervisor?

I work with about six other people at might job. It's a retail job, and my superior has been working there for 10 years while I have worked there for about 3. When I first started working there I was greeted with an implied ultimatum: I had to choose between loyalty to the owner of the store or loyalty to my coworkers, including my immediate supervisor. They would talk shit about the owner, make fun of her behind her back, call her insane etc. Now, the owner has been very nice to me since I started working for her and I have gone out of my way to help her with things outside of work like helping her move etc. She's a.... colorful "no bullshit" type person and can exaggerate things from time to time, but other than that we've had a great working relationship that has remained professional. One day the owner tripped and fell flat on her face in the back of the store. It could have been pretty bad, because she's older and not very mobile. After this happened, my supervisor was going around showing everyone the camera footage of the owner falling down and laughing at her. She was legitimately excited by the whole ordeal, taking pleasure in showing people. They showed me and I kind of chuckled at it, but later that night I was thinking about it and realized how insulting that was to the owner and felt pretty bad about it. So I called the owner and told her that my supervisor was going around showing people this, and admitted that at first I laughed but felt pretty ashamed realizing how rude it was and wanted to admit to her what was going on. She was furious and thanked me for telling her what was going on. She then immediately stripped the supervisor of her camera privileges. Now somehow, I don't really know how, my supervisor found out that I was the one who ratted her out and she treats me like utter shit now. Rolling her eyes at me when I request things for work, or when I greet her when she comes in she flat out ignores me. She throws it in my face sometimes saying things like "I could do such and such if I had access to the cameras but oh well guess I can't." I refuse to get into to it with her. I intially thought about confronting her directly about it but then I figured, why? When it comes down to it the owner is paying me to work at her store and is entitled to know when she is being utterly disrespected by her employees. My supervisor has this problem that when she is confronted by people she immediately has a panic attack and flips out, then her massive boyfriend gets involved. I decided "fuck that" and went straight to the victim. AITA reddit?

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AITA for commenting that unfamiliar indie bands at artists were the best types of music to listen to?

Context: There was an Instagram post about unpopular opinions about music on my explore page. Everybody else was contributing, so I decided to get my two cents in. The specific comment was "the best bands and artists are the ones nobody pays attention to." In three hours, at least fifteen different people were commenting that according to my logic, Queen and My Chemical Romance were shit (I didn't even say any other bands were shit?) and I was a pretentious asshole that gave indieheads a bad reputation. Am I the asshole in this situation?

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AITA for arguing for my Friend to Surrender in a game before the Game is done?

Me and my friends spent sometime organizing a game of diplomacy (a board game) online that we'd play in real time. The game is going to last for 5 hours if we play through the whole thing, so I tell my parents that I won't be able to do anything that night (It was a night that my mom was hoping do something but I said I do anything that night because I had the game I was planning for a month.) While playing the game, everybody still on the board makes a pact against one player, lets call him mac, because he was trying to put everybody into conflict with each other with lies (The game is all about diplomacy and lying so this is expected.) We agreed that after he's defeated we'd end the game. This is especially satisfying for me who's been the butt end of a running joke in my group of friends about a mistake I did in the game that lead to similar situation, and if the game was to end early I could do something with my family. As he's on his last legs in the game, one player who's tired of the game and somewhat thinks the game is done decides to leave. We could probably still beat mac, but it will take longer not only because the person who left won't be supporting us anymore, but also because we'll have to "wait" for him to put in his turns for the turn to go through meaning we'd have to wait the entire turn timer. At this time, it seems pretty certain still that that person would lose, but mac believed there was a small chance that he could survive until the game time ran out and draw. At this time one player's already left, and both me and another player just want the game to end as fast as possible. I suggest that we just end the game and say that Mac lost, but Mac refuses to count it as a loss until he's truly been defeated. I find this to be unsportsmanlike, especially because it's a casual game, that he's forcing everyone to play out the game until he's truly lost by the rules, because he believes there's a possibility that he could still draw Some people do takes mac's side. I feel like mac's forcing my hand to either concede the game or use up my time, granted I did say that I was going to play the game before. I say that mac's unsportsmanlike behavior makes me think less of him because of all the context of his actions. AITA?

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AITA for being mad at my wife for neglecting/ willfully trashing my cars?

A little background. I'm a far from rich guy who has two cars. One is a 20 year old pickup (my baby) and a 21 year old luxury car. I bought the car because it was hella cheap, still in pretty good shape, known for reliability, and mostly because my wife was finally getting a job for the first time in 9 months and I didn't want anything to stop her. I was coming home from work with my roommate (Lets call him J) and I turned into my neighborhood and saw her (my wife will be B) sitting at the bus stop with our dog. I hadn't had the best of days at work but I tried to be cheery so I stopped to say hi to my wife. I rolled down the window and asked her what she was doing, B explained that she was gonna watch her friends kids until she got home from work. She also said that the dog had knocked over a drink in the car. (One of my biggest pet peeves of all time.) I smiled it off and B then told me "Its fine I'll just get home and wipe everything down with Clorox Wipes." I stopped her there and said "No you're not, that shit will ruin leather, use the cleaner I have in the garage it'll work better." B got kinda serious and said "Why does it matter, this car is a piece of shit anyway," and my roommate J looked at me with a questioning expression and I told my wife "Yeah, just tear the car up more, it's not like you take care of the damn thing anyways. We all went home and linked up. B decided that I was being an ass and being too serious about the cars, and I fired back with the fact that she never helps lift a finger in the slightest to take care of them, yet I paid, and still pay for the cars so why destroy them needlessly. We are already broke so what's wrong with keeping the shit we have nice? Who cares if it's old. So to finish up, I'm mad at my wife because she pretty much refuses to take care of our cars. The cars are the most expensive thing we have, and I pay for all the maintenance, gas, and insurance. My wife thinks I'm being an asshole, by "taking my day out on her." It seems like we have had this conversation before about her tearing up my truck when she would drive it. So am I actually being an asshole some kind of way? Or should I keep pursuing that she's not respecting what little shit I have to give her. Thanks in advance.

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WIBTA for reporting my brother-in-law for animal neglect?

TL;DR: sister's husband recently purchased a (now) nine week old border collie puppy. They live in a rural area with several large predators (coyotes, wolves, predatory birds) capable of killing or carrying off a young puppy. They also live somewhere with high winds and low temperatures during the winter. WIBTA for reporting them for animal neglect? More info: My sister and her husband have only been married a few months. My sister had an adult dog going into the relationship. This dog was taken care of pretty well, kept inside, walked / run with daily, etc. Since moving in with her husband, he's taken over none of the care for the dog, which my sister is fine with; it's "her" dog. Apparently they decided that he needed a dog for him – so they bought a border collie puppy about a week ago. The puppy is now nine weeks old. The housing they're in right now doesn't allow animals to be kept inside. My sister works full time (often 50+ hrs a week, since she's on a dairy), her husband works part-time right now. While they're away from home, the puppy is left outside for hours (6+) at a time. This winter has been warmer than usual, but it's still usually 20 - 40 F at their home, often with a windchill of at least 10F lower than the actual temperature. The puppy doesn't have her adult coat yet, and as far as I know they don't have any shelter available for either dog. They also live in an area with a sizable coyote population, a lot of large predatory birds (redtails, some bald eagles, various others I've seen but don't know the species), and recently they've had sightings of wolves moving back into the area (with several people reporting barn cats found dead, or other pets gone missing). My state's laws require "adequate protection, including appropriate shelter, against extreme weather conditions; and other essential care." I don't think that either dog has adequate protection or essential care, since neither dog has shelter and they're leaving a nine week old puppy outside to fend for itself in a very rural area. I HAVE tried talking to my sister and her husband about this, trying to be as calm and inoffensive as possible, but any mention of how they treat their animals makes them incredibly defensive. My sister has taken a hands-off approach with this puppy, since it's "his" dog. This is the first time he's had a puppy, and he doesn't seem to understand or be willing to put forward the proper amount of care necessary to take care of it properly. (He's also not training it at all, but I don't think that's really as much of an issue as the fact that it's being left outside in cold weather, with a very real possibility of being eaten by predators.) WIBTA for at least having their county animal control do a welfare check on their animals?

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AITA For refusing my boyfriend to drive my car after seeing how he drives his?

We live in a country where we drive with shift stick mostly. My boyfriend drives like a maniac, he keeps the car in low gears while the Rpm goes to 4000 and 5000. You can practically hear the engine about to explode. I mentioned it while we were out driving and he kind of bit my head off and told me ro stay away from commenting on his driving skills. Now we are planing to go on a roadtrip and are planning to take my car. I have an older car with a sensetive transmission and engine, and im afraid my boyfriend will drive it to pieces. I told him that i dont want him to drive it because i think he is a violent driver, and he got angry and said he does not want to go on the trip anymore. So am I the asshole here? Neither of the cars are diesel. I apologize for bad grammar or language, English isnt my native language.

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AITA; Buying a Boat, NOT

I am looking to buy a boat/trailer. From day 1 the "owner" didnt know a few things about the boat that I thought most would. Now, he is a younger guy & maybe doesn't know much about boats. Initially he had the year of the boat wrong, but we worked together on that. We agreed on a price & he wanted to skip the paper work, but I did not feel comfortable with this. I convinced him to meet me a tax/title place and then he mentioned that he didn't have a title for the trailer (which is required in my state to register the trailer with the DMV). He then produced a copy of the title trailer that was in someone else's name. The person who's name is on the title meets us at the DMV to sign the title over to me - cool. We first process the bill of sale for the boat. He had the correct title for the boat so we signed the Bill of Sale and the title. Woot - I own a boat-ish. Then it comes time for the trailer. Well come to find out the trailer title isn't for a boat trailer, it's for a travel trailer. ugh. So now I try to get out of the deal and tell him I'm not paying for the boat until I have the trailer. He insisted that I just say the trailer is homemade and register it that way (in order to do this I would have to have receipts from materials and it would need to LOOK homemade). We agreed that he could keep the original paperwork for the boat, but that I wasn't going to pay him anything until I had the correct title in my hand. Well since the trailer had a current license plate, we got the info from it and went to the DMV and looked up the "owner" of the trailer. They were nice enough to get a duplicate and transfer the title over to me. Wow how lucky am I - WRONG. NOW - After speaking with the owner of the trailer, I don't think this is the same trailer that sits under the boat I am buying. The owner of the trailer said that if was used for a small aluminum boat and this boat is a rather large 21' Center Console Mako. The VIN number indicates that the trailer is only rated for 1500lbs and that it is only 14' long. The guy that is holding the boat (since I now legally own it) says there is no VIN on the trailer. I think someone swiped a license plate from a another trailer and put it on this one to make it appear legal. QUESTION: If there is truly no VIN on the trailer, AITA if I tell him I can't buy the boat and trailer since I am suspicious that the trailer is the one he claims it to be? Who bears the burden of proof? I would think he does - right? Furthermore, if there is a VIN but it doesn't match the title, AITA for taking the plate that is now registered in my name off "his" boat trailer? I'm thinking I should just put the boat trailer back in his name and run away! OR lowball him like crazy & buy a new trailer. TLDR; Buying a boat/trailer that has no title on the trailer, but the license plate on the trailer doesnt match the trailer description.

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AITA for wanting to keep some smelly hair conditioner?

A couple months ago, I was having a SUPER rough day. We have three kids under five, they'd been at home for weeks, I was stressed out. So I went to a salon and bought this conditioner that I remembered being used on me once there, I remembered thinking it smelled really good. It was pretty expensive, and was not a normal purchase for me. Usually I'd get some stuff from the grocery store or something, so it was kind of like a special treat I guess. When I used it, my husband commented that he hated the smell. Like really hated it. One day he came home and said he could smell it throughout the whole house. He said it was repulsive to him, made him want to throw up and asked that I get rid of it. I said I didn't want to get rid of it, it was expensive, made my hair feel nice, and I liked the smell. I only wash my hair like every other or every third day. So he would t have to smell it often. We compromised. He bought me some conditioner he thought smelled good. I don't like it, but I use it when he's at home. And I use the stuff I like if I know he's going to be gone or something. It's more or less in the past now, but I've always wondered if IWTA.

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AITA for being offended that my boyfriend's baby mama just wants to only communicate with him regarding their child?

So, basically what the title suggests, but there's more. My boyfriend (Joseph) and I live together. His baby mama (Karen) has a fiance (Adam) and another child. Joseph and Karen have a child together, Savannah. Savannah is 10, wonderful child, and she and I are very close. She knows that me and her father will get married one day, and is excited for it. Joseph lives with me. Savannah, during the school week, stays with Joseph's parents, because it's a small town school with smaller class sizes. This next school year, she will live with us full time and go to school in our slightly bigger city. Joseph has full custody of her, whereas Karen only has visitation. She deserted Savannah and Joseph when they were married, for Adam. This week is spring break for Savannah. I knew it was coming up, but didn't know if she would stay with Karen and Adam, or with me and Joseph, or just stay with her grandparents in tiny town. This past weekend, we couldn't get ahold of Karen OR Adam. I wanted to make sure Karen knew it was spring break and that Savannah wanted to spend the break week with her and Adam, and the weekend with us. She doesn't reply until Monday. She then says she only wants communication about Savannah to be between her and Joseph. Now, this would be fine if it weren't for Karen saying she wants ALL of us to communicate, because Savannah is parented by all of us. Then she backpedals and says she feels attacked (???) and wants communication to be all of us, but also only Joseph and Karen. AITA for being offended right now? Karen is saying communication has gone so well these past few months and she wants to keep it that way. Spoiler, I'm the one who usually keeps Joseph from going off on her regarding Savannah, and sometimes the one who messages her from Joseph's account. I dont think she knows this.

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AITA for pulling the disability card?

I’m a wheelchair user, I work in a 20 story office building. We have maybe 15-20 lifts around the building, the small lift lobbies have 2 steps up to the office area, they aren’t busy as they are out of the way. I work on the 12th floor and our canteen is on the 8th floor. I use the main lift lobby which have 8 lifts. So I recently went for lunch on the 8th floor but sometime during that the 6 newer lifts malfunctioned meaning there’s only 2 in the main lobby working. I expected to wait a bit longer , but full lifts kept stopping completely full for 10 minutes, I then tried to pretend to squeeze in the packed lifts. 15 minutes go by I’m getting a bit pissed, the next list stops, people look at there feet avoiding me, I asked if anybody could get out because I’ve been waiting a long time and there’s lots of stairwells and the outer lift lobbies are probably less busy, nobody does anything. I move forward stopping the door from closing and tell everyone the lift is not going anywhere and they are horrible people for being lucky enough to walk and ignoring me. The lift empties out and I get to my floor. AITA , maybe people in the lift had non visible disabilities and I was a bitch

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AITA for refusing to give my best friend a job recommendation due to past issues?

I (18F) and my best friend who we’ll call Cami (20F) have known each other for over 10 years now, and we even live together. We both got jobs in fast food around 16; my best friend at Dairy Queen and me at McDonald’s. Cami has been looking to get into Walmart, Sam’s Club or Publix for about a year now, but unfortunately hasn’t been getting any call backs from them. About a week ago, I applied to Publix and got an interview the next day, and I have my two weeks at McDonald’s in. I was scared to tell Cami because I felt bad that I had gotten in so fast when she had been trying to get in for a year. When I did muster the courage to let her know, her response was basically “Welp, now I’ll have a recommendation from an employee to boost my application!” Now I love Cami and my relationship with her is priceless, but I’ll be the first to say that I let her walk all over me during arguments. Our arguments are rare, but when they happen, she’s very headstrong. I’m the one who always apologizes even when I’m in the right, and after I apologize she’s kinda like “OK” and doesn’t talk about it again and refuses to apologize. It’s been like this for all of the 10 years I’ve known her, and it’s not only me that she does this to. The last argument that we had was about 6 months ago. She wanted a second job and asked for me to put a word in to my McDonald’s manager. I did, and she got hired. She asked for my manager’s number under the pretense that she was checking her schedule, but she quit without telling me because she changed her mind about having two jobs. She didn’t bother to tell me and I figured it out when she wasn’t there for what was supposed to be her first week. Luckily for me McDonald’s isn’t strict at all, so no one really cared, but in a professional setting, something like that can discredit me as a person and discredit the value of my recommendations. It shows that I blindly recommended someone who wasn’t serious about the job. As usual, Cami didn’t apologize and didn’t see a problem in what she did. I snapped and instead of playing peace maker like usual, I told her that she can expect that I’ll never recommend her anywhere else ever again if I didn’t get an apology for this one. I didn’t get an apology, and now I’m refusing to put a recommendation for her in at Publix for that exact reason. To me it seems clear that I’m not in the wrong; I warned her that this would happen and she didn’t take me seriously. But now my family (who have basically accepted her as a daughter/sister) are saying that it’s stupid for me to put her entire career on the line because of a “trivial argument.” But it wasn’t simply that argument, it was 10 years of attitude problems. I love her and I don’t want to ruin her life, but I also can’t pretend like that behavior is okay. My family says I’m being a petty bitch, and I’m quite upset that they’ve taken her side in the side in the situation. What do you guys think?

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AITA for not tipping a bathroom attendant?

Me (23f) and a few of my friends went to a bar for my birthday this weekend. I don’t go to bars often and this is the first one I’ve been to since my 21st birthday. Anyway an hour into the night I went to the bathroom and was surprised to see a bathroom attendant there. Again, I don’t really go to bars or clubs so I don’t know if this is a typical thing to see. She had a bunch of stuff on the bathroom counter like perfume, spray deodorant, wipes etc. She also had a tip jar. I instantly felt bad because I didn’t have any cash on me. So I waited in line and only used the soap and paper towels that the bar already provided, said thank you to her and walked out. I did use the bathroom two more times that night. On the third time I was about to leave and she started yelling (like actually yelling) at me saying how ungrateful and privileged I was for not tipping her. I told her that I’m sorry but I didn’t have any cash. She kept yelling and told me to find another bathroom and not to come back. I understand that she probably gets paid below minimum wage and relies on tips, but I thought her reaction was a bit uncalled for. What would you guys have done in that situation? What do you guys think: AITA?

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AITA for not wanting to name my son after my girlfriend's ex?

My girlfriend and I are expecting our first born son. The other night when discussing names, she said she would like his middle name to be that of her ex, who died. Saying further that it would mean a lot to his family who she is still close with. I said that makes me really uncomfortable and don't want to do it. I don't want to tell people, especially my son, that he is partly named after another man who his mom loved before me. She said, "why can't you say he is named after my friend who died? We weren't even together when he died". I continued saying no to the name and that it feels pretty shitty to even be asked to name him that. Am I the asshole?

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AITA for not going to rehab

Before you judge to harshly im not asking if im the asshole for being an addict but for refusing rehab now because of what happened. I stayed off drugs for 14 months thanks to methadone but my parents pressured and demanded i come off it. I didnt think i was ready to make the step but they fought me on it and made me give in. I relapsed after coming off and didnt tell my parents because i was mad at them for making me come off and I didn't want there advice. I was going to get back on methadone after the stress of Christmas and tell them when the time was right but they caught me and now are demanding i do rehab and saying that this is proof that I didn't make progress because I relapsed when I came off it. Methadone gave the most stability i had and i think going to rehab now is a waste of money and a big step back for me after ive reestablished a career. That and im mad at them for pushing me to come off when i wasnt ready. My actions are my own but part of me blames them. No one is taking my side because for being an addict im always made out to be the asshole in any fight.

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AITA for not tipping a cashier?

I went bowling last night with my girlfriend. When paying for our games played afterwards the receipt the cashier printed for me is a tip line. All he did was ring us up, so I put a line through it to indicate no tip. The cashier gave me a look after looking down at the receipt. AITA for believing someone shouldn’t be tipped just for ringing me up?

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WIBTA if I want to see my child?

This is a doozy, bare with me. When I was 16, my first girlfriend, also 16, became pregnant. Her parents literally uprooted their whole lives to move away due to it. We found out one day, I was barred from seeing or contacting her or her family by threats of police involvement the next day. I was a dumb 16 year old: I was scared of my parents, scared of her parents getting police involved, so it was a "secret". My parents still don't know because I don't even know what I would tell them. It was literally a month later they were gone. No trace at all. To give an idea of my girlfriend's thoughts, she was scared but didn't hate me or anything. It really boiled down to her ultra-conservative parents. This was before Facebook and before teens had cellphones, etc, there wasn't really a place I could follow her, at least not for a couple of years. I'm 33 now. I'm married, I have a daughter who's 3. I still think about my ex-girlfriend. I never forgot. I wasn't able to find her on Facebook until a couple of years ago. She also has a daughter, my daughter, a 16 year old. She looks so strikingly like me, it's unreal. She looks more like me than my 3 year old. If there's anything I want more in life, is to reconnect. I always wanted this. I would have dreams, very frequently, about meeting my older child, even before I saw photos. I would give my house, all my money, everything but family to make my family bigger. But my then-girlfriend is married now to someone else. They have an established life. Hell, I have an established life. It becomes an internal struggle between wanting to reconnect more than life itself versus potentially putting their lives into catastrophe. I can't just inject myself into their lives, it would have a negative net sum I'm sure. Plus I don't know how my wife would react, I haven't even told her. I assumed they had a termination and that was that, so it never came up. I should have in retrospect. WIBTA if I reached out to connect with my then-girlfriend? What if I reached out to my daughter?

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AITA for looking alternative even when it makes my dad sad?

im 19, and still live with my parents, just stating that i personally love tattoos and piercings and i love expressing myself it makes me more confident. i have prettyy low self esteem and suffered with depression, and i still dont love the way i look but i love how i look a lot more when i dye my hair and dress kind of alternatively ​ now, i dont look like a cringey emo kid, i only have 2 piercings per ear and one nose piercing. no visible tattoos (yet). so honestly, i dont look like every parents nightmare, i look pretty "normal", nothing extreme. but my parents, theyre pretty old school so they dont like any of that stuff. i got a nose piercing after YEARS of wanting it, and i finally changed the stud to a hoop. every time i get some sort of modification my dad tells me im ruining myself. that no one "normal" likes this kind of stuff, people are going to look at me different, that its ugly, i should just stay natural. he seems quite stressed about it and begs me to just take it out ​ i tell him every time, i dont care about what strangers think about the way i look. why would i? tbh if i like how i look, i dont care about anyone elses opinions, i dont care if your my dad or my brother or my best friend, its none of ur business on how i look. i dont tell ANYONE my unwanted opinion on how they look. it makes me happier, getting a tattoo or a piercing or colouring my hair. and if i took it all out, id feel like not myself, i value expressing myself. but at my dads expense. ​ am i the asshole for disregarding how he feels about my looks to keep myself happier?

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AITA for sticking up for an ex?

A girl I dated a few years ago and I have remained good friends since our breakup. I've still had romantic feelings for her since then and the past 2 years she's been dating this guy that nobody seems to understand them as a couple. I've never cared for the guy despite my best efforts. I want to support her more than anything and if she's happy that's great. I've known the past few months things between them have been pretty rocks with multiple times of them almost breaking up. They have an apartment together and their lease runs up this summer, so staying together for the time being makes sense on a lot of levels. Last weekend I get a call from her at 1030pm asking if I can come over because she might need some help. 20 minutes I show up and knock on the door, she comes out with her dog on a leash and wearing a hat. She is clearly upset and after we start a walk she says that he hit her. I ask if it was open handed or a fist (not that it matters) and she doesn't know, she just knows her cheekbone hurts. Apparently they were is a super heavy argument, which has become the norm lately, and she shoved him. His response, from his perspective, was he tried hitting her hat off her head. But then she tells me this isn't the first time he's hit her but the second time. After about a 45 minute walk she goes back to the apartment. Since then I don't know much about their interactions hut I've understood she has been looking around for a new place. She's been staying in the spare bedroom and he's been in the master. I had an opportunity to see him tonight at a social event and in private I approached him, stating if he touched her again he's gonna wind up in a hospital. He asks if she told me what happens and I say "yes she told me. Get home safely" and then walk away, to which he responds FU. 2 hours later I check my phone and have 3 missed calls from her and a text saying "wtf" I haven't been able to talk to her since then, but AITA for stepping in? I just want to protect my friend, romantic feelings aside. How could she interpret this to make me out to be the bad guy?

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VO2Aya36XCBYOQu6LqzKYoNcFWXvjgo8

a4e1jn

AITA For not participating in Secret Santa

I work in an office with 8 other ladies. 6 of us are very friendly with each other and work every single day togetther, we decided this year to do a Secret Santa with our group of 6 and drew names back in October. The week of Thanksgiving our Manager & Assistant manager sent an email asking if we all wanted to participate in Secret Santa this year with a $25 minimum. The 6 of us all agreed that we did not want to buy gifts for the 3 people who never show up to work, are outwardly hostile and when they are at work just seem annoyed with us. Most of the 6 declined their offer saying they didn't have the money to participate and it ended with a pithy email about how "sad" they are that this "great idea isn't going to happen". Should we have added them to our own Secret Santa? Are we all assholes? ​ Also, when I declined Secret Santa I suggested that instead of us all buying gifts for each other that we didn't need, we could get a name of a child from the Township and be their Secret Santa. The managers never responded to that idea.

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aqg9uu

AITA for thinking my mom wasted my time?

So where I live it’s been uncharacteristically snowy. I own I a 4 wheel drive vehicle, my mom does not. She called me this morning and asked me if I would take her to the store later because she didn’t want to drive in the weather. I said sure I’ll be there around 3-4, she said perfect. At almost exactly 3:00 I was free, so I texted her saying I would head over to her house. My mom is horrible at checking her phone so I honestly didn’t expect a response. While I’m driving over I call her (hands free calling don’t worry!), because she’s sometimes better at answering her phone, she does not answer. Should probably note my moms house is ~10min from mine. I get to her house at ~3:15, she’s not home. I figure she took the dog for a walk, get inside, the dog is home. So now I’m annoyed and I call her multiple times. She finally answers at ~3:30. She says she had a dentist appointment and decided just to go grocery shopping after. I say to her “I’m frustrated because I feel like you’ve disrespected my time.” She screams something like “yeah I’m just an awful bitch” and hangs up on me. She makes me feel like I’m such an asshole for being upset with her, but I feel like I have the right to be upset that she wasted my time! Am I crazy?

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9yxim4

AITA For Having Depression

Hear me out. I know that mental illness isn't the person's fault, and I know that it's not something that easy to fix. But I need to know if I'm an asshole for acting the way I do because of it. I (19 F) am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and PTSD. For the past month, I've been having breakdown after breakdown, followed by periods of emotional numbness and sometimes hostility, but an overall general feeling of hopelessness and self-hatred. During these times, my spouse (24 M) has been by my side through the whole thing. There for me when I need him and so on. However, when I get depressed, I feel like I'm making him feel like I don't appreciate what he does for me. Whenever I get like this, I always feel like I'm making him feel not good enough to make me happy or like he's not a good husband, which is far from the truth. No matter how many time he tells me that I'm wrong and that he loves me and he's alright, I can't help but feel like he's only telling me that to make me feel better, and that he actually feels how I think he does. The tiny logical part of my brain says that it's the depression, but everything else is telling me that I'm just a burden on him and that he deserves so much better than a whiny girl with mental issues. He has such big dreams and potential, but every time he comes up with some convoluted idea, I shoot him down. He says this is me bringing him back to Earth and that he needs someone like that, but again, I feel like that's just him saying that to make me feel better. I genuinely am not sure how to process these emotions, and I'm probably posting on the wrong subreddit... but I need an unbiased 3rd party to give me genuine and unfiltered advice on this.

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9xzmlx

AITA for setting up my celebration dinner that I could not afford?

TLDR at bottom. So went to a nice dinner with my friends to celebrate my recent move. I reserved a table at a nicer restaurant with entrees around $35-$60. In all honesty I had no idea the entrees were this expensive. Anyway my friend and I are in a tight money situation so we made it very clear we could not afford this dinner as soon as we sat down. My other friend Alice decided to be very generous and offer to pay for both my friend and I. Everybody was drinking and we declined but eventually ended up ordering entrees. In retrospect staying at this restaurant was a bad idea anyway because of the money situation. Wine was ordered and everybody got absolutely hammered. When the check comes Alice -who offered to pay - says that the other three people should split the check with her evenly. In effect my roommates ended up shouldering a massive bill and my friend and I’s dinner/tab. Today we made amends and I am going to cover the portion of their bill they each shouldered. I am not asking Alice for money as I am not entitled to it. My question is if I am the asshole for reserving a dinner I cannot afford (unknowingly) and putting everyone in an uncomfortable position? TLDR: set up a nice dinner I cannot afford and my roommates ended up paying for me.

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V7hNz4ZpXhyDDSfXawR7bSgagpcCnOUD

ahvpkl

AITA for not wanting to tip?

AITA For not wanting to tip because everyone else expected me to? Long story short I go out with a group of friends. Every time we go out I’m the only person to tip. So we went out this weekend and when the bill came I only payed for my beers, I was then asked…verbatim “yo, you only paid for your brews, you’re not going to tip?” I said “FUCK NO” why am I the only one that has to tip? I always tip every waitress/waiter, bartender and so on why the hell should I have to tip on my own for a whole group? It becomes/became an issue for me because when we go out as a group I’m the only one to tip. Everyone else feels and says “I only paid for this, so I shouldn’t tip” buy they expect me to? So Reddit AITA for my actions? Also, regardless of what my group says I always tip 30%.

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awpxre

WIBTA if I turned in my mom?

So a little background: My mom and I have a very fickle relationship. She is a compulsive liar and full blown narcissist, as well as diagnosed bipolar. We have gone months to years not speaking multiple times. For the past few years I've been struggling with depression. About 2 years ago, I voluntarily admitted myself to a psychiatric ward. After I got out, I only told one person, my mom. It's not because I trust her really, but because I didnt really care what she thought of me anymore. I told her that I needed a little help, and moved back in with her about 6 months later. I have been living here rent free, and I am very grateful for what she has done. After telling her about my visit I asked her not to tell anyone, and of course, she told everyone that would lend an ear. A few months ago I finally confronted her about it, telling her that was a shitty thing to do, and how I couldn't trust her after that. She said that I needed to take some responsibility for how it had affected her, basically saying that her betrayal was my fault, and gave me an "I'm sorry you feel that way," type apology. I didn't respond because I realized it was futile, and that she will never be sorry for anything she's done. (Trying to illustrate the kind of person she is, I have never heard the word sorry come out of her mouth sincerely) Today, I found out she has opened a business in my name 6 months ago. From what I've seen, she seems like she does some shady stuff tax wise sometimes, using her business account like a personal one, not claiming things she purchased overseas on her taxes or at customs. She doesn't have the proper insurance for the services she offers either. I'm not sure of the full extent of things, but I know a few things are not done by the book. I am honestly torn. WIBTA if I turned her in, even after all she's done for me over the past couple of years?

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almf3s

AITA for yelling at my friends for constantly antagonizing me.

It’s an everyday thing. Usually I brush it off but today was the worst. I didn’t have a good day and this just made it worse. Constantly just bugging me. I’ve asked them to stop but they just say it’s banter and I should get used to it. It’s is annoying I’m getting burnt out and don’t enjoy playing games like this. However I don’t want to just play alone. So today I yelled at them to just fing stop and they said why am i taking it so seriously. So reddit AITA for yelling at my friends here.

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a458fi

AITA for hitting someone on a bike with my car then not paying.

So this happened recently. I was pulling out of a parking lot onto a busy one way street and next thing I know a biker coming from the wrong direction of traffic with no lights on (a rule for night riding in my town) is in-front of my car as soon as i go. Now mind you that it barely bumped his bike and the extent of the damage was him tipping over. We pulled over i gave him my phone number and said if he took it to a bike shop and found any damage that I would gladly pay for it. He mentions that is fine with him and he says he has to go to his halfway house because he is past curfew from his second job. I genuinely felt bad about all of this even if he is technically at fault, I mean all i had to do was look right just in case... but I get home and he calls again and says, “we can call it even if you bring me $100 to the halfway house for the bike”. I replied that no I wasn’t going to to that. What if the bike cost $30 to fix? What if it cost $300 to fix? Mostly, I saw you ride off on it so I’m not sure what these damages are he is speaking of. He says it’s either the $100 or he’ll make a police report. I told him i’m sorry but I guess we’ll have to go that route. I told him again a final time if he brings me a bill for his bike or brings me to the bike shop I will pay for the bike, but i’m not going to allow you to black mail me with the police. I’m usually not one to feel guilt but this one kind of bothers me. He was in a half way house so i assume his life hasn’t been to easy in the last year, and it’s christmas time so i don’t want to make this a financial burden for him.

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am1mga

AITA for telling off my roommate for not feeding the cats?

For some context, I live in a flatshare with two other people and two cats (officially mine, the adoption was unanimously decided though and we all take care of them together). Now my roommate is usually the last one to leave the house in the morning so she offered to take on morning feedings. (The other roommate is absent in this story, so not relevant.) This morning, I saw her leave the house before me (without saying a word) and, noticing she hadn't fed the cats, fed them myself and texted her afterwards. Here's the translated conversation (I tried to keep the tone as accurate as possible): >Me: Did you feed the cats this morning? > >Roommate: No, I had to leave before 8\* > >\**our feeding times are usually 8am and 8pm, though she often fed them earlier too - which is a no-brainer of course, if no one's gonna be home after 8 I don't expect them to strictly adhere to those times* > >Me: Ok next time can you let me know if you're gonna be out earlier? I fed them before leaving, but since you usually feed them in the mornings I rely on that and don't want to have to worry about them going without food after I'm out of the house > >RM: Okay. How about you tell me when you're home until 8? Because I don't always have the time, or I'm in a hurry. Maybe we can make a plan for that? > >Me: I always have to leave before 8 when I'm working, and you feed them often enough before 8? I understand that you can be in a hurry sometimes but you explicitely said you always give them breakfast and they shouldn't have to suffer from this shit. Until now I always left before you... so it's not the first time they haven't gotten food from you? That just really doesn't fly. Then you should tell me I can't rely on you feeding them and it's no problem, I'll just do it myself from now on > >RM: Calm down?! I don't get why you're coming at me like this, I always take care of them and today I just didn't have the time for it, that stuff happens and it's not my fault > >Me: Bro this is about the cats not ending up without food just because you can't communicate, simple as that. If you say you always feed them in the mornings, and I see you feed them in the mornings (even before 8) I assume you do that and I don't go and feed them a 2nd time. We saw each other last evening and this morning so you had enough opportunity to tell me I need to feed them, but just leaving without a word is pretty shitty. I'm honestly a bit shocked you're being this unreasonable, my goal is not to chew you out but that my cats don't go without food... > >RM: Are you being serious? It's ok, you already are chewing me out. As if I'm the only person in the house who can take care of them. > >Me: You said you do breakfast. When people say something like this and usually do it, you can expect others to rely on it. > >RM: Yes but sometimes I can't plan things like these! > >Me: Then fucking let me know! > >RM: Sorry for fucking forgetting once, that's why I'm texting you now! It's not like it was intentional? > >Me: You're texting me? You replied only after I asked you and was already out of the house. So if I had left before you, the cats wouldn't have had any food the entire day? You're really not seeing the problem here? And again, this is not about you being in a hurry and not being able to plan these situations, it's about not communicating these things > >RM: You were up already!!! As if you can't hear when the cats are being fed > >Me: Yeah. I'm repeating my question: > >Me: >So if I had left before you, the cats wouldn't have had any food the entire day? > >RM: What the fuck is wrong with you? What is this disrespectful bullshit?? They got food EVERY DAY, even in the mornings AND EVENINGS. And now this. I'm not doing anything anymore. It's your problem, then you don't have to worry any more. > >Me: Yeah, like I already told you. > >RM: Yup. You give an inch, but they take a mile - constantly. You're welcome btw. > >Me: You're not the victim here, so save the bullshit. > >RM: Ungrateful is all I'm gonna say :) TL;DR: Roommate who usually feeds the cats in the morning left without doing so and without saying a word. I let her know that doesn't fly and she has to let me know so they don't go without food because I assumed she already fed them, shitstorm ensues. I'll have to add she has a habit of not cleaning up after herself (and a ton of other annoyances that just make her seem really inconsiderate) and always playing the victim when you point these things out to her. While this may not justify me being the asshole in this story, it might give some explanation as to why I reacted so aggressively from the get go. So, *am* I the asshole?

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A5WevP3k5DExeBbarM3ybbraXVQTNcB9

b2qk29

AITA For asking my girlfriend if she's thought about our relationship

Recently my relationship with my girlfriend has hit a bump, she explains to me that sometimes her Ex will every now and again pop up in her head and remind her of him, eventually it got to the point where she was wondering if her brain was trying to tell her to get back with him. Me, questioning on her on a few things, I ask her if the Ex in question were to ask her if she wanted to go back out with him, she responded "today would be a maybe, but a few days ago it would've been a yes". We talked and decided to break up to give her time to think about this as she has quite a lot going on in her life right now, as it would let her make the decision unbiasedly, to which i agreed and was more than happy to support her on, I wish nothing more than for her to be happy, I just don't want to be screwed over in the process. (We also both agreed to not do anything with anyone while we were split) Cut to Three days later after the split, after some back and forth texting I ask: (It goes me then Girlfriend) How's the thinking coming along? Thinking? Y'know about the split oooooh, Haven't really thought much Lmao, probably should. Not being harsh but should probably devote some time to think about it Ahh whatevs i'll get round to it Lmao alrighty Ye that's cool w you yeah? Well the "Whatevs" kinda sounds harsh but i understand that you don't mean it in that way, but also if its like 3 weeks later i might be a little upset that's all No need to rush something I don't have a time limit on No i understand it's just, it sounds disheartening to hear for example, 3 weeks after i ask, the same answer y'know? Not really its like if you asked me a serious question desperately wanted the answer, asked me if i've been thinking about the answer and i said "i'll get around to it" then 3 weeks pass and i say "I'll get around to it". Whatever man, you don't have a very good attitude towards this whole thing. How so? i'm not asking you for an answer just if you've been thinking about it I'm not against you. i just know that it's gonna take time a lot of mental strain on me so i want to be in a place where i'm ready to let that happen. So it'll take as long as it needs and you should be atleast patient and understand enough to get that? i'm legit just asking for time to figure shit out. It's not a yes or no question that i can easily find answer to. you make it seem like i'm prolonging this to hurt you. I'm not. No no i'm not thinking you're prolonging it to hurt me, i just wanted to know if you thought about it at all. its not me wanting to wrench an answer out of you. I've reread what i wrote and i see how it came across like that, but that wasn't my intention. Feels like it Then i apologise i didn't intend to Yeah I know. It's cool. Imma go sleep I'm gonna take a guess that you don't want to talk too much after that, but also have a nice sleep. I'll Try. I'll take that as a yes, G'night

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ah5zin

AITA for kicking my friend out of our fortnite party

Alright I only play fortnite with my friends cause I don’t see them that often. One of our online friends is really toxic and salty. Basically he rage quit after a match and after a minute of me asking him if he was there, I kicked him for someone else. He got really pissed and hasn’t talked to me(but will to my other friends) for about a week. He talks shit about me to them and basically is an all around douche. I had apologized the day after the incident and explained my rational but he refuses to forgive me and just plays with us purposefully not talking to me the entire time. Not sure if I did something wrong, I get that I was a dick but I feel that he’s even worse for still holding a grudge a week after I apologized.

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b0jgob

AITA for staying with a girl I don't see a future with?

I (24M) have been with my girlfriend(29F) for a little over a year now, and we have been living together for the past \~6 months. She is originally from Taiwan, and is trying to make a life for herself here. I realized a long time ago that I didn't see a future with her. However, I have stayed with her because I just can't imagine breaking up with her, and her having to make a life for herself here with little to no help. I pay for our rent (I have a good job for a 24 y/o, so its not really a financial burden), take her to school, and do the majority of the cooking. I feel like she would have a hard time surviving in America without someone to help her out (mainly financially). Her English is extremely poor, so she has a lot of difficulty talking to people here. I feel really guilty about this situation, because I feel like I am wasting her time. I figured I could stay with her up until the point she can stand on her own two feet here and support herself. She is an extremely kind person, and I want the best for her. I want her to find someone who truly loves her and wants to build a future with her. ​

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WBreyzJPNyq1LqMoGoCfe4OBtrrbVO4U

an122m

AITA Want friend at wedding but not her partner

So I'm getting married next year and while organising a guest list, I realised I wanted to invite a certain friend but did not want to invite her partner. Her partner and I have a quite a history, about 10 years worth and the partner has only ever been a good time friend. I decided that on the guest list, would only be people who had show me love and support during a very difficult 5 years of grief and illness and her partner, has not at all while she has. Her partner and I had a relationship early on in the 10 years we've known each other, before they met. We spent a lot of time after that relationship ended as good friends, helping each other out where we could etc. I got very sick about 5 years ago, to the point where I haven't been able to get out and socialise much, my socialising has been done online. I have never received messages from the partner at all, no phone calls, no visits no nothing from them. I have gone through some very difficult times within my family regarding my son and my step father and even posting online to my friends asking for support and help received nothing from her partner. She has always taken the time to check in with me occasionally and see how Im going etc. She lives interstate however her partner lives predominantly in my city and still, since ive been sick and heavily troubled, I have received no support from the partner whatsoever. So, the guest list caused me quite the conundrum, however I decided to talk my friend about how I felt and told them I would still really love to have them at our wedding, however because of certain criteria in our wedding guest list making, that I could not invite her partner. She seemed quite offended, did not want to know the reason, and said she would not attend without him. I believe our friendship is still fine, but I am left wondering, am I the asshole? ​

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amhspk

AITA for telling my friend(F) that my other friend(M) was cheating on her and not wanting to see them so close a few months later.

So this is something that has been bothering me a bit. I kinda feel guilty for some reason even though I think I did the right thing. Some context. I(16 M) am a high school student and both of the people involved are my close friends. They used to be in an intense relationship.. Like everyone in our school would ship em' and all that kinda shit.I used to admire their relationship and how close they were. But one day I had found out through another friend that the guy had been calling other girls over to his house to "play board games" when he was homealone.At first I didn't believe it and then he showed me screenshots of him calling people over.I didn't know whether I should talk to him or tell her cuz both of em are close friends to me. So the situation is that the other friend that is the girl is not what do you say "popular" among the other girls and the only super close friend she had was this guy. I had to stop and think what I needed to do. I ended up telling her. There was bunch of shit that went down. People cried. Some people went emo for a month or 2. I tried the best I can to help her get through it. And my other friend .. well I didn't talk to him for a bit and then he came around again. Now fast forward 6 months. They are really close again. Like weirdly close. I mean I'm happy they patched shit up but why tf did I waste my time helping out my friend get through her shit for. He still hides shit from her and she doesn't know it(not that he should tell her everything that s going on in his life but shit like I don't talk to any other girl other than you and a whole bunch of shit like that when in reality he talks to me about other girls that he trying for) Why tf did I cry with her when It happened. Aita for feeling like they shouldn't be as close as they are now.

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2S3FjiYQqeujthbBUTGDzMKyh5NBcp4g

b0b4t8

AITA for wanting privacy and not wanting to talk to my boyfriend 24/7?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. *Disclaimer: We have shared all of our social media accounts and passwords with each other for about a year. I no longer feel the need to go on any of his social media's and I don't take him making his profile a solo shot personally. * He regularly checks my social media and I can't even do something like take him out of my profile picture (one of me/me & my dog/etc) without it being a problem, despite having him in my bio and all on my feed. He also constantly wants to be texting or on the phone. I'm a nursing student so sometimes I like to just scroll aimlessly through social media without using brain power (anyone else burnt out from school who can relate?), and so I don't feel the need to constantly reply. Sometimes I'll double text him or jokingly ask for attention, but he **regularly** double texts me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be in contact with someone at all times?

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a5w7kr

AITA for reporting you to your supervisor after you climbed through a window, stole a lamp and then broke the door on the way out?

I work for a parts department, were a man down and currently playing catch up from stock take. I worked 68 hours last week. I’m sorry if I wasn’t quick enough to get to you, but I was there 30 ish seconds after I heard you banging on the window... I arrived just in time to see you climbing through... you swore at me but I didn’t say a thing back... yes I did report you. It’s my job as a supervisor. I have responsibilities. Well see what happens tomorrow when you’re also reported for what you said after. I heard everything! But i’m the bad person somehow?

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ani28c

AITA for inviting literally everyone except one cousin (who's a twin) to my wedding?

I genuinely want everyone in my massive Catholic family there - except one cousin. I have like 50 of them that I'm going to invite, but there's a set of twins a few years older than me and one of them SUCKS. Shit-Twin has always been a nasty piece of work, irritating as hell, and the kind of person I despise. Rating girls on a scale of one to ten (out loud, in front of them), treating his girlfriend like shit at family events (she dumped him after he asked for her dad's blessing in marriage 3 times and the dad said no, and then Shit-Twin was very vocal about how unfair that was), anger issues - like, real bad. He's really negative, we have nothing in common, and I hate being around him. I have made it very clear to my parents that I don't want him at my wedding, nor do I particularly want him in my life. My mother in particular is APPALLED at the suggestion that I would invite literally every other person in my family, and not him. It wouldn't be quite as awful, but his twin sister is cool and so I want to invite her and her wife, and apparently that would be too cruel to Shit-Twin, as well as Shit-Twin's mother, who is chronically embarrassed that her kid has grown up to be such a garbage human. With so many people at the wedding, it's entirely possible I wouldn't even realize he was there. And he probably wouldn't talk to me anyway (or maybe even show up) because we really do hate each other. At least, that's what my mom and her siblings think. The general consensus among the rest of my family is that I'm singling him out in order to embarrass him, although I mostly just don't want to deal with that headache. AITA?

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b2by2c

AITA for getting a meth head fired from work?

I work at Sonic, so there’s lots of teens that work there, with the youngest people being 15. I’m 18 so I’m an adult and I work during the mornings/day. This Sonic is extremely close to my house, it’s less than a three minute walk and I live in town homes so I basically consider it part of my neighborhood. There was this new manager there that no one liked, she was rude and condescending to all the other employees. Another manager claimed she saw her smoking meth in her car in the parking lot. The girl already had previous trouble with heroin and lost custody of one her her kids because of it. One morning she came to work high on something, she was completely gray and vomiting everywhere and she could barely stand up. She slept through her whole shift and we notified the GM and he didn’t care. He didn’t think it was a big deal that she was high on hard drugs at work and doing them in the parking lot. On Saturday she was supposed to open but never showed up, the GM was unconcerned and so I notified the store supervisor about her drug use and she came in and fired the meth head on the spot. The GM was very upset with me, and so was the assistant manager. I told them I was thinking of all the 15 and 16 year olds that work at sonic and I didn’t want them to exposed to that kind of drug use. Sonic is also really close to my house and I live in a good neighborhood and I really didn’t want a meth user near it honestly. There’s lots of young kids and couples in my neighborhood. They told me the meth head got evicted from her house and lost custody of her other kid and they feel like I’m kicking her when she’s down. They were so upset that they suspended me from work for a week (it’s okay though because I was already quitting). I didn’t know she got evicted or lost custody before I reported her and now I feel kind of bad. I still feel like she shouldn’t have been working high though. Who’s the asshole?

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adf4u9

AITA for not always wanting to go to bed at the same time as my boyfriend?

AITA for not wanting to stay in bed all night with my boyfriend? This didn't use to be an issue when we both worked seconds, however, he switched to first- waking up at 4:30, when I used to ideally go to bed. I have always been a night owl, sleeping at night always leaves me feeling tired no matter how much I sleep, AND lethargic ALL day until night time. I got up early everyday for 3 months. I have tried to exhaust myself with 2 hours of sleep so I can fall asleep with him. But no matter how tired I am, once darkness hits I just feel very "up" all of a sudden. I have tried for months now, but it just isn't working. He tells me that if he feels me not beside him, it causes him to have nightmares of me cheating on him, which he wakes up mad at me for. Side note: No, I've never even so much as gave him reason to think I'd cheat. He freaks out on me if I have to get up for the bathroom, or if I get up for water. I can't even go to the bathroom now for more than 15 minutes with out him pounding on the door harassing me angrily about "Really?! Why is it impossible for you to just stay in bed!!". (I am **extremely** quiet as I hate dealing with this bs and he is still snoring after I've gotten up). I HATE just laying in bed bored for 6 hours, but he has a fit when I tell him I want to be able to stay up. He tells me I'm not trying hard enough to get on the same sleep schedule and am just being selfish. I think this is a ridiculous thing to get screamed at for, and genuinely feel suffocated that I can't do anything at night without reprimand. So, AITA? Final side note: I have asked my doctor about my sleep patterns. He told me that it is probably a genetic factor, as I can fall asleep and feel rested within reason- my sleep rhythm just doesn't work on the same schedule as others.

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apgjcd

AITA for meeting with my ex to rehash his issues with our relationship and "help" him without telling my husband?

Probably need some background here so here goes: I am 27f, for about 2 years in college I dated a guy and it was such a toxic relationship that it's pretty much left and indelible scar. We fought all the time, we broke up and got back together easily 50 times and he did some truly terrifying things to me while we would fight (for example screaming at me while driving and then taking his hands off the wheel saying he didn't care if we crashed). I wanted to be equitable and say we were both responsible but he probably has some narcissism, definitely had substance abuse problems and he started most of the fights. I finally broke up with him for good and I'm thinking the last time I saw him was easily six years ago. I met my husband 4 years ago. To me, he's the dream guy. He's handsome, he's an ER physician, he's athletic, he's so sweet and thoughtful, he makes me belly laugh nearly ever day and we are on the same page when it comes to just about everything. It was love at first sight when he was in med school and I was starting work and we have basically been inseparable ever since. I would never cheat on him or anything like that ever. I love our life together and don't ever want to risk anything. My husband had to work all weekend and it's really important to note that occasionally he'll work with something at the ER that he has a hard time letting go of and I know I need to give him some space when he gets home and there is for sure some not good times to drop news on him. The specifics of the patient he treated are horrifying (it was a little girl, really that's all I want to say) and he's going to the hospital today about seeking some sort of counseling, i'm very proud of him but this is not the time to drop my drama on him. That's very important going forward with the rest of the story. So Friday night I got a call from a number I didn't recognize figured it was a robocall so I didn't answer. Voicemail was from my college ex-boyfriend. It basically said he knew this was out of the blue but he's been in addiction recovery and he's trying to make amends with all the people he hurt and if there was any way he'd love to meet with me to see if I could help him figure why things were so bad with us and how he could move on. I didn't respond on Friday night but Saturday my mom and sister cancelled their plans with me and really out of boredom and a morbid fascination with what my ex was up to, I called him back. We met at a mall and he looked awful, like years of hard and fast living had really taken it's toll. We had a nice conversation for maybe 15 minutes and then he just started picking at me like we were dating again. He started accusing me of being distant and not appreciating small gestures he would do for me (like leaving meth roses on my car then expecting that would make me want to outdo porn stars in gratuitousness of sex acts). I must have regressed into my old self because instead of getting up and walking away I got defensive and we had an obnoxious fight right in the middle of the mall. Finally I had enough and told him flat out "Brent, THIS, THIS is why you have problems. You asked for my help and you wound up screaming at me for things that happened 7 years ago! GET HELP!" and I walked away. He followed me saying something like "I've always loved you, please don't walk away, I need help. I think we can make it work." The last thing I said to him that I was married and wanted him to leave me alone. He kept following me so I went into a store and told the very, very (like literally awesome amazing I'd love to give a shout out and get them business but not sure if it's ok) women that I was being followed so the let me in their back room while they called security. I waited and apparently that scared him off because I didn't see him again. While I was waiting I just blocked his number because I was sure a barrage of texts and calls was coming. After maybe 30 minutes two security guys walked me to my car and I was so freaked out I went and got my husband lunch, and spent the rest of the day hanging out in the ER break room and then followed him home when he left so we arrived together. I just told him that I missed him and since my mom and sister cancelled I was lonely and wasn't sure else where to go. He was very happy to have me around even thought we didn't get to see each other much. Part of me feels really bad for not telling my husband what happened but I know that after his work weekend my drama needs to come in a distant second to his mental health. There were many things in this where I am the asshole and I guess I certainly feel like it for letting my boredom guide me into a making a bad choice to having a screaming match in the mall to not telling my husband what happened. With all that, am I the asshole for any and all the above?

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at80qr

AITA for breaaking my neighbor drone?

So a few months ago a neighbor got himself a drone and would fly it over my yard, I didn't really mind it and neither did my dog at the start. After a while he flew the drone closer and closer to the ground until it got my dog attention. My dog is really curious and likes to investigate and I got worried that he might break his drone so I went to my neighbor and asked him nicely if he could stop flying the drone so close to my dog. He responded that he won't do it anymore. And that was a like because the next day my dog was barking outside, which he does not do normally so I checked and would you look at that his drone was just 2 meters above my dog, so I went and grabbed it, and returned it the owner telling him again to stop flying it close to my dog and warned him that I might break it if he continues, and well he continued for a few days now. I had a bad day once because of a argument and when I saw his drone over my dog again I grabbed it before he can move it and smashed it to the ground. Later that day he called the police and after about 2 hours we both got just a warning. Tldr: neighbor won't stop flying drone close to my dog got angry broke it

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ao9br2

WIBTA if i threw out my future brother in law if he acts up at my wedding?

throwaway account for safety. So, my girlfriend and i are, i guess you could say, slightly starting to plan our wedding. we know for certain that we want to be married. but we're waiting until our lives are more settled to make it official (we both have new jobs and are currently house hunting, other stuff, etc.) and one of the topics that came up is who we would want as the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and she said maybe i should consider her brother. i flat out refused because he's terrible. he was spoiled and sheltered his entire life and is just a weirdo and wildly inappropriate in any social setting. at every single family event ive been to with him there, hes embarrassed himself and his family. at a fancy dinner once for my girlfriends graduation, he purposely spilled pasta sauce all over his shirt and laughed about it. at a quiet family get together, he took off his shirt and started rubbing his nipples and moaning, at another family event, he told his ten year old cousin what porn is and how to find it and then defended himself by saying he was joking. i culd go on for hours with these stories. as far as i know, he doesnt have any mental disabilities or anything like that, i work with developmentally disabled people as my career and this guy is just a piece of shit who wants attention. i told my girlfriend that i dont want that because hes embarrassing and i have close friends and family that i would want as my groomsmen instead. she was alright with that. but then i started thinking about him at my wedding and i realized that i really honestly just dont want him there. i talked to my best friend about this and he said it probably would be rude to just flat out not let him come, but if he started to act out, to kick him out. and that seemed like a fair compromise. i told this to my girlfriend and she had a shocked look on her face but when i was honest and explained myself, she (probably reluctantly) agreed. shes very non-confrontational though so im not sure if shes really okay with it. another thing i worry about is their mom. she treats the brother like hes a perfect angel and is the definition of entitled parent. so she might cause a scene if i throw him out. and i wont kick him out for making a bad joke or something. i mean something really bad like the nipple thing or something on that level. so would i be the asshole if i did that? thank you for your opinions

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AITA for submitting a short story for a competiton based on a real life story?

The theme of the story is "an apology". I want to write a story based on what really happened to me. I was really arrogant and sarcastic in high school to everyone. Finally apologised to someone I was sarcastic to. She forgave me but kept her distance. Would it be ok if I submit a story for a competition based on that? I will change it to the protagonist bullying someone for years in the past, finally apologising, and coming to terms how it is too late for form a friendship. I am worried about moral and privacy issues.

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b9flzk

AITA for acting the way I do with my parents?

Alright, I just wanna preface this with something: I love both of my parents beyond what words can express. They have worked themselves to the bone to give me a future I can look forward to and to keep my comfortable and happy, and for that, they have my eternal respect. But that doesn't mean they're always right, or that they're perfect people. It's dad's behavior with my mother that scares me. My mother has more health issues than you could put in an olympic pool. Anemia, cardiac arrhythmia, vertigo, to name a couple off the top of my head. The vertigo, I suspect, and my mother claims, was caused by my father. I don't know the science behind it, but apparently it's caused by some kind of crystals being knocked loose in the inner ear due to force. Force that my mother claims was my dad hitting her hard enough to knock her head into a closet. Honestly? I buy it. My father is, god bless his soul, not the most gentle of people, as much as I love him, and that's just something I can't deny. I'm certain that, at the very least, he has been physically abusive towards her, and often says horrible things about her in my presence. My mother is just beyond stressed out, and I do my best, but I am an unfortunately somewhat messy person. To my shame, I tend to add onto her load a lot, since she does all the house work due to culture mandating that the woman takes care of the house. I know my father does all of this, but, as much as I love him, I'm just too god damn terrified of him to stand up to him. I've tried intervening in fights before, but I just get yelled over. I should mention at this point that I'm a high school student, and still a minor, if it weren't obvious. My mom often brings up my dad's ire, since she needs exorbitant amounts of money. It's obviously not her fault, as they're for medication, groceries, and essentials like gasoline. She does her best, and God knows I love her to death for it. But that said, sometimes I just snap. Being the way she is, she's very demanding to take care of, and I do my best, but with the stress of school (I'm in the International Baccalaureate which involves a lot of work both inside of school and out), sometimes I just get so stressed out I snap. Nothing major, but I do occasionally say some rather mean or passive aggressive things to her, or storm off. I hardly say a word to my father, because, frankly, I am terrified of him. Again, he's never been truly abusive towards me in general, he just frankly terrifies me because of his temper, and, really, his size. I'm not at all a weak or small person, I rival him in size, and you could argue I'm quite a bit bigger, but there's this psychological switch in me that just turns on feelings of intense fear whenever I'm faced with confronting him. Much as I love my parents, sometimes I just want to get up and go, go far away, and leave them to their troubles. Am I the asshole for feeling this way and not doing something?

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ael8pd

AITA For breaking up with my ex fiance then never returning his stuff?

So, this happened a couple years ago. ​ I began dating this guy. Things were magical at the beginning, but slowly things turned sour. Whenever he argued he'd threaten to kill himself if I left, told me I was a horrible partner, etc... There were about 5 instances where he physically harmed me but I stayed (not my best decision I will admit, but i've learned). Well he proposed to me after about 3 1/2 years and I said yes. He gives me a ring that he tells me is from the antique store (also tells me the price, $10). He also let me have a jacket of his (from our high school), a wig (we both cosplay, he got it on ebay for $20 if i'm right), and another sweater that was from some company his father used to work for (I think). Well after one night of him driving to me and my families home, drunk and banging on the door a bit to demand to see me (we had an argument because he cheated), I decided that I was done with this. I told him that we were done and I thought that was that. Well after a couple of weeks I start getting text messages from him. They're civil, just asking for the ring back and the wig. I had thrown the ring away before this and I had no intention of being near him ever again. I don't reply. A few more days pass, he texts me again. Still civil. He never gets out of line, just a little desperate like "Please, I seriously need the ring." I end up blocking his number and forgetting about him. Honestly, I feel he shouldn't get it back. He hurt me and he's an asshole, and I don't think $30-$40 worth of stuff he got at secondhand stores and ebay isn't worth the emotional/physical harm he put me though. Am I the asshole for not giving any of the stuff back?

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9y95ow

AITA for asking a question?

Just today, I was doing a thanksgiving dinner at my church. I noticed some kids were screaming having fun playing games and what not. but everytime I noticed it was the same few kids. I hear a loud scream down the hall by the time I get there they are all gone. I asked the father of one of the few 'Was that your one of yours?' "I think it is everyone." Was his response. I get a text as I am leaving saying 'I don't care if you dislike my kids, you don't have kids you don't understand what it feels like comments made to your face about your children. Next time keep your comments to yourself." I didn't mean anything by it, but I must ask AITA?

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b5miom

AITA for not liking that girlfriend and my bestfriend are becoming really good friends?

Well, I recently got a girlfriend and we really make a good couple, I like her a lot and she likes me a lot too. For about a bit more than a week she added my bestfriend on facebook without laying anything (because I had told her about him) and they started talking, and then they both told me they really got along, I felt it pretty weird but I said it was cool. Anyway, now and then they both keep laying things about the other and I keep finding it really really weird, something like, if I don't have my space. I don't have many friends (and I like it that way), he's basically the only person I talk too and, I really don't know if it is okay that I feel this way, I would tell them what I feel but I'll feel pretty selfish then. On one side, they both are free to do what they want, and also like two months ago his ex (they're still friends) added me and he told me he found it weird but he didn't care that much, his ex and I talked by message, but about irrelevant stuff and no more than five times (now she hates me and we don't know why, don't care though). And on the other side, she's like slowly interfiering in my group of friends and adds everyone she know's is my friend, somewhy, and it bugs me; again, I don't know if it's okay for me to feel that way. And really stupid yet real and strong insecurities pop up now and then, so I know there's shit I gotta get together. What do you think? TL;DR: My (new) gf and my bestfriend are becoming really good friends, it bugs me a lot and I don't know if it's wrong, I feel selfish, AITA? Ps. Let me know if I lack on details

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OMgPFxBSofk4tmbneuyqeOjyFJhwBEaZ

b4sbeo

AITA for being upset my boyfriend wanted to stay at a mates?

My boyfriend (19m) and I (19f) are in a long distance relationship, and see each other for a weekend about twice a month - sometimes more, sometimes less. My boyfriends best friend (19m) - whom we met through - also lives in Melbourne. This is the weekend that we’re spending together, the first in over two weeks, and he will also be in Melbourne the following week due to a break in his university schedule. We spent the entirety of Friday Night and Saturday with our friend. I offered at length to leave my boyfriend at his best friends house and I would pick him up later that night because we had planned to have a date night. He said no, and that he wanted to come home (because he thought staying there would upset me), and we left in the evening to come home. We were with the best friend for 24 hours. I assumed that we would then spend Sunday, being our last day together, alone because we had seen best friend both Friday, and Saturday, and had only truely been alone last night. However this morning, my boyfriend messaged best friend and asked what he was doing, and the best friend asked him if he wanted to stay the night - just he two of them. I reacted to this quite badly, and was truthfully genuinely upset because I felt like I hadn’t spent enough “alone” time with my boyfriend. His best friend, on the other hand, hasn’t seen him alone this week so obviously has a valid point in wanting to see him. My issue to this is that my boyfriend would leave on the Monday, and I would only have spent Saturday night alone with him. Additionally, I have felt recently like this friend is in the middle of our relationship. My boyfriend disagrees, and says that this is a personal perception, and objectively there isn’t any reason why I should feel like he’s a third wheel. I wouldn’t have a problem with them organising a day/night to meet up and stay the night, my issue is that it was out of nowhere and not at all what I expected due to our distance and the length of time between seeing each other. My boyfriend eventually decided to stay here because of my reaction, and the best friend thinks I’m dramatically overreacting and is trying to convince my boyfriend of this. Obviously this is upsetting but I guess in some regard valid. So reddit - am I the asshole?

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a1w4nz

AITA for spending Christmas with my family?

Hey all! Just wanted to know if I am the asshole. I’ve been dating this girl for around 4 months so far. Things have been great to be perfectly honest, but she is beyond pissed and says I’m an asshole because I am going to my family’s Christmas. A little backstory: my brother is going through a turbulent time in his marriage and my aunt passed a few months ago. I feel like I should be there for my family in this time, especially Christmas. The GF says I’m an asshole for not thinking of her. So what’s the verdict?

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AITA for asking my so that I emigrated for and live with to ask If he can check out and maybe change my license? I work 40 hours, just started 2 weeks, he is unemployed.

He says I ask too much, it's a legal doc and I'm immature, lazy and manipulative to ask him that when I can do it myself. His first response was "you have to sort it out yourself" sort your life out. No I won't you're asking too much and you can look it up and do it yourself. Reason I asked = I work 40+ hours, am very depressed and try to start therapy asap but having the license would come in handy for me to purchase my bike. So he would do me a big favour time wise. He games all day and waits for calls to get a job. Am I asking too much really?

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b1be01

AITA for going no-contact with my aunt

My grandad took me under his wing since I couldn't find a job, and said that he wanted to find what I was interested in. He offered me a camera to take photos, and I was really interested so he changed ideas to instead make 3d models. He encouraged me to take photos, then edit them, and I was really proud of how some of them came out. He also asked me to get a PC that could handle CAD design. I built a computer, it cost about £2300 My aunt came round at some point, saw the PC and instantly said "That's powerful." She also said, at some point "That's mine." I took it as a joke. Some time after this, my grandad got cancer. He went on chemo, but passed away about 6 months later. In this time, my grandad moved in with my aunt, who also moved his computer "so it wouldn't get stolen." On that computer I had photos I had taken, and edited. Well, I was sad. I started eating more, going over my limit, and started gaining weight. I went to my granddad one day in the hospital and he asked if I was still doing photography and I said not really, just haven't felt motivated to do it. He was disappointed, so I made an effort to go to a park near me and take some shots, but I wasn't really feeling it. He asked about my weight and I told him the truth. He told me I was a failure. My granddad passed away, and I had a gut feeling that my aunt was going to take that computer. I was right, I called her up to talk and ask how she was and we talked. I had no intention to even ask about the computer, but she brought it up, and referred to it as her computer. During said call, she mention that my granddad had written a note that read Granddad:"Do you really want my new computer." Aunt: "Yes" Granddad: "OK" She also said that she would 'let' me keep the camera he gave me. I didn't believe this for a second, but also didn't want to say so because I wasn't totally sure. I never saw this note. She sent me a letter basically saying that she was sorry that I was upset, but to have some decency about what she was going through.I brought up something on the letter, about how she seemed to accept the computer without even a thought of me, and she backtracked and said "Well of course I asked about you." she then went into a very condescending voice "I'm sorry <name>, but your granddad was very disappointed in you when he passed." Now, I understand that I am not directly kin of my granddad and that I shouldn't have by law gotten the computer, but it felt like a slap in the face, because I was sad that my granddad was dying, and I felt betrayed, since a lot of my photos were taken when she took that machine, plus he made it clear to both my aunt and me that it was mine, before the cancer happened. And we are basically up to the current time-frame. I want an outside opinion because I might just be playing the victim card but to me it feels like I've been betrayed.

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aslmbl

AITA for choosing not to participate in an well-anticipated band trip because I’m prioritizing grades and my mental health?

I [17M] have been in band for six years now. It’s my last year, grade 12, and there is a trip that the band has been looking forward to. We will be adjudicated on this. I am one of the stronger flute players and usually take lead parts or solos. Lately, I’ve been struggling with maintaining my high grades so I could get the best possible chance to be accepted into university. I’ve been really stressed about it. I gave my band conductor a couple months notice that I am not going on the trip. I’m sacrificing too many days away from school and I feel like I will be overwhelmed from the stress. I also don’t want my parents to pay about $600 on a trip that I might not even enjoy. After explaining myself to my band mates, I’ve just been told to suck it up. They said that I shouldn’t have signed up for it then. Also, they really guilt me for not going. I’m stressed and unsure what to do. I need to hand in the check by Friday. Am I the asshole for not going on this trip because I prioritize other things?

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Aita for being upset my wife won’t sleep?

Preface to this, I love my wife she’s a great mom. The best. However with a 6month old and just starting work she is either on drugs or extremely sleep deprived. In the last day or two she has been acting so different (yelling at me over things that would never cause an issue much less make her yell) , constantly forgetting things (she lost her vape, phone, car keys and cigarettes multiple times times in an hour ) and she’s fallen asleep in the most random awkward positions ( on the toilet, middle of the floor, etc). Seeing her so exhausted made me call out of work so I could watch the kid and she could get a full nights rest. This is an extremely crucial time at my job and they need me, and I just asked for a raise which our family desperately needs. So to me it’s a big deal that I’m doing this ( I know she didn’t ask but I feel family is more important then a job). When I brought up that she was acting different and that she looked really out of it and I took off tomarrow so she could get some sleep, she really got upset and started yell shouting and hitting me. After fighting and yelling at me in front of our kid (something I NEVER do, and constantly ask her not too) she refused that she was tired. I backed off and let her feed him before he passed out for the night. I went into the next room so if our son woke up I could come before she awoke. When I left she was feeding him on the couch. After about 10 minutes I herd our kid screaming bloody murder. When I run into the room she’s asleep on the couch and our baby is on the floor. After tending to child I awoke her and very calmly told her that because of whatever is affecting her is now endangering our baby. She then preceded to bring up every mistake I’ve ever made in our marriage. She refuses to go to sleep ( even though she has passed out on the toilet 2x in the last hour and on the floor). I love her but whatever is affecting her is now endangering our child. She had a pizza in the oven at the same time the child rolled out of her lap and onto the floor. Both of this issues are unacceptable to me. Am I the asshole?

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ahh3t1

AITA for not wanting to sit with my dad in the car.

I’m a teenage girl, that wanted to go to a birthday party of my cousin, same age. She wanted me to help her out with her party preperations and usually because her house is close to my dad’s work. He can easily give me a ride or pick me up from there. So I really wanted to ride along with my dad, because I had to lend a big helium tank for my cousin which means i had to bring it. My dad however (who always was fine with bringing me) made a big deal out of it. He had to wake up “earlier” to bring me, because he already wakes up late. (My dad btw works as a private individual and owns the half of the place) so I just said he could wake up just a bit earlier, because it would just take 3 mins for him to bring me to her and go to work. My dad then said I was being egoistic and never was considerate of him. My mom later joined the conversation and asked him how can he be a dad if he doesn’t even want to bring his child. My dad kept saying we force him to do too much and didn’t chose this life and always jokes about leaving. Well that hurts you know. But my mom kept saying it was him that wanted a child. His argument: he was young and the first child (my sister) he wanted himself, however the second child (me) wasn’t his choice. It felt as a stupid argument, because once you’re a dad you will always be a dad. Having multiple children doesn’t change the fact that you have responsibilities. So after a while he then said: “okay, I’ll be leaving tomorrow at... “ but I was still infuriated by the fact he made a big deal out of it and said kinda ashole-y: “You know, I don’t want to sit in a car with such a person that doesn’t want to do the small things for his daughter” and walked away. So now I’m just going to take the public transport with a big helium tank. I feel like I was kinda rude to my dad. But I also think my dad needs to know that he should be more responsible of his children, because all my life I remember him as a passive parent, smoking and gambling all the time. And because of that I’m beginning to dislike my father. But I don’t want a bad relationship with him. Tl;dl: Wanted to go to a birthday party close to my dad’s work. Had to bring a big tank that’s half my size. Father doesn’t want to bring me because he has to get up “earlier”. Said: “why not wake up earlier”. Proceeded calling me egoistic and later told me he didn’t want to have this life as dad. Then he invited me to ride after feeling forced. I answered that I didn’t want to sit in the car with that kind of a person that doesn’t love his daughter enough.

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CD81jtVC6ZR2Q7tTsftyUucBFDtOhhn8

9wwyax

AITA for telling my mom and sister i didnt wanna hear them bitch on the phone and called for one reason

Happened back un August, but its relevant now. I was training for a new job, and my schedule monday to friday looked like this, and i had the kids on sat/sun: Wake up 2:30a, shower 3:30a get kids up take wife to work 4:30a get home attempt to put newborn back down, 33% success rate 6:00a get up for work if i got my nap 7:15a take kids to babysitters 20mi out of the way 9-5 work 6:00p pick kids up from sitter 7:00p get home, eat 8:30p Bedtime, but young baby so broken sleep I was 2 weeks out of 4 into the schedule and that week my MIL had surgery, which added a extra day of hell and lots of extra things to do. This particular week i didnt have time or desire to call my mother or sister, so i had time on friday and called to invite them to come up for a few days. I got 3 words in over all the yelling and bitching and finally told them 3 times i called for 1 reason, im tired, and im not going to listen to meaningless bitching because ive been too busy to call. They hung up and basically didnt respond to messages for a couple of months, wouldnt even take the kids calls. Im the asshole 99% of the time, am i for this too?

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b5xy0s

AITA for not wanting to take my dog on walks or to dog parks?

Ok, so before this gets downvoted into oblivion, let me explain. My dog was separated from her pack at 3 weeks because she was sick. She never learnt the social skills most dogs have because of that fact. She nips and growls at dogs when they get close, and will attack if you get too close. She is a very loving dog to me, but to other dogs, no. I have tried for 3 and a half years to try to get her comfortable with other dogs, but nothing is working. I am tired of controlling my dog whenever she is outside, and i am tired of apoligizing to other owners. I dont want to go for walks or go anywhere with my dog anymore. Does this make me a asshole for owning a dog and only taking her outside for 10 minutes at a time because i dont want her to see other dogs? Is it my responsibility to do more? AITA?

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niutpgKbGf6V6DRqMT0ML5fIGqrdwbsO

aepcjx

AITA for cutting my sister off after a prank?

So, my sister pulled a prank on me as kind of a retaliation for a prank i pulled on her. I posted about it before, but basically i gave her an "Xbox". It was just the empty box with a brick inside. Long story short, it made her cry.(https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a9qbke/aita_for_pranking_my_sister_in_front_of_our/). Now, after that day, she vowed revenge. I always felt i was to smart to be pranked, but i guess i was wrong. This morning, i had a girl over. She's a little more then i freind, but not exactly a girlfriend. It's complicated. But what happened was she was over when my family was out on a trip, but my family came back earlier then expected. The girl stayed though and i introduced her to the family. So, they started to ask her questions and my sister just disappeared. It was all going surprisingly well, until my sister came back. She had gotten my secret collection of "adult" magazines and exposed them to my family. In front of this girl. They aren't Playboy or anything. They are Japanese Manga books with some very risque drawings that i've had for years. I tried taking them back from her, but i didn't want to risk ripping them and mom wouldn't let me have them back. She thumbed through and showed my family all the drawings inside. There was some nudity, large breasted girls, even a lesbian scene. It was incredibly humiliating. My mom won't let me look at them and has been asking me to sell them (because i have younger siblings who might see them), this girl has been mocking me and calling me a Weeb, my Uncle has been onto me about looking at lewd drawings over real women. She has pretty much ruined my standing with my family. And i've vowed to never talk to her again. She has stepped over the line. But, i've been thinking, am i really the asshole here for cutting her off and pranking her before hand for making her do this? Or is Exposing my hentai books to my family on the same level as the Xbox prank?

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b9sfm9

AITA for telling off this anon?

So about 5 months ago, I started this AU for a fandom which led to a lot of self-inserts and fanfics that added other writers into the story. I've been really into it and it seems so have a few of the other writers. Last night I got an anon called Concerned who said "dude I like your work but hasn't the self-insert stuff gone on long enough? it's been five months. I'm worried Ao3 might end up like Wattpad if we're not careful lol." I responded with something like "it's an AU, what did you expect? or did you mean stuff like this?" cuz it was a song-based thing where I create song parodies and put characters and writers in it. They responded with something. I don't remember, but it kinda shook me cuz I've been really into it and so have some of the others. I decided to delete the comment and disable anon commenting. A few minutes later, I got an anon comment on another fanfic of mine from someone named Nope that said "how much longer is this fic? I was enjoying it but is seems so open-ended. Is there an official climax to this and how much longer till we get there because it's starting to feel repetitive. I really like your work but, I want to know where you're going with this and if I should stick around?" By this point, I had asked one or two of the other writers on this and one of them said it sounded like the same person from a month ago (I don't remember this, but I'll take her word for it). And Nope also sounded like Concerned. So I commented something along the lines of "You have no obligation to stick around. These are MY stories, not yours." But then I decided that if I kept the comment, it might escalate, so I decided to delete that comment and disable anon commenting right after that. Like I said, I talked to a few of them to see if it HAS gone too far; one of them said maybe to tag those stories in the future so they can filter it out if they don't wanna see it. They've also said that it's up to me. I know that it's likely not my fault, but I still feel kinda bad. So am I the asshole for telling the anon off? ​ ​

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Ydr4RTFRomG3RRARfTPJG2EOsOTJG55y

b8uizy

AITA for telling my girlfriend about a secret group chat conversation?

It was my girlfriends birthday party today, which consisted of me, my girlfriend and 6 other friends. We decided to eat at a ramen restaurant, which is relatively cheap, around $6-$15 dollar meals. *(This will be important later)* During the planning phase, we decided to make two group chats, one that included my girlfriend and one without. So we could discuss gifts/plans etc. One friend brought up the idea of a small gift, the consensus was a gift that everyone would have to pitch in $3-4 dollars for. Now, one of the friends in our group is notoriously cheap. She is in a complicated financial situation, she does have a full time job but doesn’t pay rent or bills since her boyfriend does all of that, so basically she just saves and spends on the “necessities.” *Here’s a segment of the convo from the chat:* Friend 1: So is $3-4 alright with everyone for a gift? Cheap friend: No that’s too expensive for me, you guys can still buy it though. Friend 2: Its literally only $3 per person if we all split. Cheap friend: Fine I’ll pay for a bit of it, but I’m not gonna chip in for anything else. Me: I can pay for your share no worries (cheap friend.) Friend 1: Okay I’m gonna go to the store to look for it. Cheap friend: Make sure it’s CHEAP. Friend 1: Ok. We all thought this was kinda rude because she does have some money to spare, and my girlfriend does a lot for her. Such as driving her to work for free, picking up groceries sometimes. She feels like she wasn’t gonna expect any gifts but the fact that she wouldn’t even throw in $3 upset her. I picked up the tab for myself and my girlfriend and two giant desserts for everyone to share. I told everyone to eat up. Our cheap friend picked up a fork then put it down and announced “I won’t be eating any because I don’t wanna pay.” We all were silent but it’s kinda annoying that she’s focused so much on the cost of everything. I feel bad that I told my girlfriend a secret conversation but I feel like since it was kinda crappy I should tell her anyway rather than wait for another friend to tell her way later on. Am I the asshole here Reddit?

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b3euki

AITA for not wanting my gf to care about her colleague?

My gf is a very caring person who thinks that she can help anybody and I love that about her- I really do. She has a heart of gold and believes in the good in people. I for my part am very cautious with my trust because of bad experiences. She also has this colleague who always helps her, wants her to go to the gym with him because he is very athletic and my gf likes to work out..long story short I have always had a bad feeling about this guy and have often told her so. She on the other hand thinks of him just as a work buddy and tried to calm me by showing me bits of their chats. This didn't exactly calm me, but made my concerns stronger because of the frequency they talk to each other. This week he was sick because of a heart issue and she wanted him to tell her how his test results are as soon as possible because "she is curious what it could be". Her reasons for being so faithful in this guy's honesty is on the one hand because he told her he just had gotten out of a bad relationship and doesn't want another girlfriend at the moment and an additional reason is that she doesn't have many friends and wanted to make some new in her new job. When we argumented she said that when I am allowed to have female friends why isn't she allowed to have some guys as friends. I then told her that she knows all of my friends and all of them are in a relationship, I on the other hand have never met her colleague. At the end some facts: We are together for 4 years We moved in together a half year ago So I want to know: AITA for wanting her to not have contact with this guy outside of work?

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KG65xP8PCZeanCnM9fxPZoC45XYzBRg3

az70r1

WIBTA to tell my sister to get rid of her dog?

My older sister(23) has a dog and forces almost every responsibility on my mother and younger sister(13). I refuse to do anything to help with the dog as me and my older sister got in a big arguement before she got it as i knew she wasnt ready to take care of a dog. But sometimes I do cave in and help out as I feel bad for the dog. The dog is untrained as after many years and daily will pee on the floors and poops inside the home, we live in a small apartment and its really awful. My older sister these past few months lives with her BF and only returns like a day or two each week. Thus leaving everything to my sister and mother. I think its really unfair for her to just abandond the dog, my mother is always complaining about it to get me or my little sister to clean after it, everyday I have to dodge stepping in piss. Also ,smelling piss and seeing shit on the floor everyday is not fun. I really dislike having to see this dog being left like this, nobody really plays with it and barely takes it out for walks and it breaks my heart. She has been jobless for over a year now and Im baffled as to why she cant train it or take care of it. I dont think she is fit to have this dog and I think the dog would have a better life in another home, I just can't bare watching nobody care for it anymore and waking up and coming home to warm piss and shit. WIBTA if I told her she should get rid of it or at least take it with her to her BF's?

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b8c3pu

AITA for offering my DNA because my brother won't do a paternity test

My brother's ex girlfriend had a baby and my brother refused the paternity test because he's a dumbass who thinks if he doesn't take a paternity test, she can't come after him for child support. I didn't know anything about legal stuff but I offered her my DNA to test for a familial match. She very nicely told me she doesn't need it and the court will compel the test, but somehow my brother and my father found out and they're really pissed at me for "betraying the family" and "trying to fuck my brother over." AITA?

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asmpog

AITA for refusing to sleep in the same bed as my sister?

So I (14M) have been on holiday with my family several times, and I have fairly recently (2 years ago or so iirc) started requesting that I have a separate bed to my sister (12F), which has not always been a given. Despite this, I have sometimes had to sleep in the same bed as my sister, which my family, especially my mum and sister don't seem to understand my objection to. I obviously feel I should be allowed to sleep on my own, but my parents (again, especially my mum) think it is too much hassle to find hotels/Airbnbs that have a double bed and 2 separate beds. Just FYI, I am more than happy to sleep on a sofa or other similar furniture. Be honest Reddit, AITA?

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au55v0

AITA for getting pissed when people ask me about my weight?

For context, this is something that sometimes happens on dating apps. Or at least I've seen it happening more and more. The interaction goes as follows: I (a girl) match with a guy. We send each other some superficial getting-to-know-you messages. At some point into the conversation, he asks me how I weigh or some derivation thereof. And then I get pissed, chew them out, and unmatch. I'm wondering if I'm transformed into an asshole, because the truth is I can't really put a finger on why I take this question so amiss. We are, after all, interested in each other's looks and are sizing each other in a very superficial manner. And I guess it's relevant for some guys, if they feel that my pics don't provide sufficient evidence of my body type or something. Nor am I particularly self-conscious about it. *But*. I still find it invasive and offensive every time. And then I retaliate by telling him that's a rude thing to ask someone. But if I get two seconds to think about it, turns out I'm actually not sure. Entirely emotional on my part. In the spirit of growth - AITA?

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adic58

AITA for saying that somebody deserved to get in a car accident if they drove too fast?

BACKGROUND: Some guys from my city got into a car accident on a new year's eve, 20 minutes before midnight. Two died and one is still in artificial coma. They were driving too fast for their experience (the driver had driving licence for 1 week) When I was talking to some friends about this I said that they deserved to have an accident if they didn't obey the rules (some say that they were driving around 130kmh through the village). My friends were disgusted and said that I should not talk about this like that. Am I the asshole?

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HesJVE3g91CAq6r6xapDUYKRT3cykTq0

apoqz1

AITA when a lady friend of mine carries a box from point A to point B and I get judged by another unknown lady F40 for letting a female carrying stuff (approx 10 kilos)

Dear redditors, this is my first post here, so please forgive me for any mistake and breaking the rules/codex in the forum. A novice redditor here. The incident occurred last Saturday (9th February) and has left me (M33-South East Asian) mind boggled. So with 2 other female friends of mine (let's call them F36 (European blond) and F42(European brunette) ) we have arrived at the event location, where we are helping as volunteers to provide food and snacks for some artists. F42 has parked the car and waits in the car and we (F36 and myself) have to carry 4 cartons/boxes from the front door to the back stage (50meters walking distance ). I got 2 boxes immediately on top of each other (20kgs) and deliver it happily smiling without paying attention to the F40 (European Blond) sitting at the front door as cashier/ticket counter to back stage. Now, on my way back to do the second round I see my F36 friend carrying ome carton and I happily opened the doors for her to get through. While I held the door open for my friend F36 to pass through, this F40 sitting at cashier/Ticket counter looks at me and says in a very judging tone ``Hey Man, You let a lady carry stuff instead of helping ''? To which my response in a funny/chilled way is '' We live in a world of equality and equal rights. And this is Berlin, so I don't see a problem here''. The F40 responds '' Holy Shit!! What kind of Man are you to let her carry stuff ? '' I try to swallow her comment down, remaining calm in my tone. I replied '' There are no differences between Man and Woman for doing work and besides that haven't you paid attention when I carried two boxes on the top of each other in the first trip? '' To which F40 responds '' SHIIIIIT Maaaan, such an ASSS'' and she breaks eye contact with me, somehow ending conversation and looks away back to the book in her hands, continues to read. Meanwhile, F36 returns from inside and hasn't realised what has happened within these 2 minutes. F36 calls me back in and I leave without responding anything to this F40 who judged me out of nowhere. Am I The Asshole here? In case, I have missed some details please ask away for further information. I thank you redditors in advance. PS:I have mentioned ethnicity with age (F/M/European/South East Asian) as I believe this also played a role over here somehow.

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9tg5g6

WIBTA for giving up on a friendship

Backstory, I’ve recently graduated from college and had a friend the I was very very close with. While at school we would hang out all the time and we always knew what was going on in each others lives, and both told each other we would always be close friends. However after graduating we both moved away and now live on opposite sides of the country. At first we maintained video chatting and texting to keep up with each other, but after a while they would always say they were busy when I asked to talk. I totally understand being busy from time to time and I don’t need to be their number one priority, but they would never reach out to say they were free so I was alway me asking to talk and getting turned down. (It has been at least 2 months since we last Skyped) I then messaged them saying that if they didn’t want to talk anymore to let me know so I would stop bothering them, and they said that they still wanted to keep talking but just had be busy but should have more time now. After a few weeks though nothing has changed, I ask to Skype they say they are busy but might be free later and then I hear nothing. They also never reach out to talk, it’s always me instigating Also most times I text them I either get no response or an answer days later saying that they are sorry but didn’t see my text. The only time they send me anything is when they are drunk saying that they miss me but don’t answer my responses. I really don’t want to give up on this friendship but I’m living in a new place and know nobody so it takes effort to keep in touch with all my old friends and I don’t want to put a ton of time into someone who doesn’t seem to care especially after I already asked them about it. WIBTA for giving up on reaching out to a friend who doesn’t seem to want to put in the effort on their end? I apologize if some of this is poorly worded, I am writing it after having a few drinks

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ago3w7

AITA for being reluctant to donate to the red cross?

I get calls from the red cross EVERY day requesting that I donate plasma. I've been ignoring these calls for over a year because the last time i donated blood I fainted and felt like I had very little energy for the next few days, but apparently I'm type AB- which the caller told me is .05% of all blood types and its plasma is in urgent demand. I'm torn because on the one hand the caller made it sound like people die because first respondents don't have enough of this plasma but on the other hand I'm working part time while attending school full time. I'm not particularly healthy to begin with, (benzo addiction but that's a whole different story) and I'm afraid If I donate again I'll have another bad reaction which could seriously mess up my work and education. I just accidentally answered a call from them and after learning how in demand my plasma is, agreed they could call me back later today to see if I could arrange a ride to one of their facilities. I also don't currently own a car so I would need to find a ride there and back. Currently I'm thinking of explaining I can't get a ride and go on to ignoring their calls but the thought that I could literally save a life is haunting me AITA?

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a81dro

AITA for not wanting my roommates girlfriend to stay rent-free?

This happened a long while ago but I’ve never been able to work out if it was me being out of order or not, so would love some opinions. At the time myself and two friends (A and P) were living in a shared house. About 2-3 months after we all moved in P began a LDR with a uni student (H) who lived about 2 hours drive away; P didn’t have a car so A or myself would often drive them up to see H on the weekends. About a month into the relationship, H announced that they were dropping out of university and moving to our town. P asked if it was okay if they stayed with us temporarily while they looked for a job here and both A and I said that was fine. Over the next 3 months H was offered a couple of different jobs in the area but kept turning them down for various reasons; pay wasn’t good enough, job was boring, job involved travelling by bus or train to one of the surrounding towns, etc. Eventually they stopped applying for jobs altogether and started living off of money given to them by P or sent to them by their parents. They never contributed any of this money towards rent/bills, and P had started working extra hours at their job so they had enough money to support both of them. This meant that P was out of the house for 12-14 hours 5/6 days per week; during this time, H would stay in the house watching TV or listening to music alone. When it got to the point that they had been staying with us for about 6 months, I initiated a conversation with P about it, basically saying “so what’s happening with H, are they looking for a place to live or work?” P kept brushing it off saying that “yeah, they are, it’s just taking a bit of time” and avoiding the conversation. Around this same time, P started complaining a lot about mess around the house; nothing major, just dishes being left in the sink occasionally, communal floors not being hoovered regularly, etc - I got the impression that it was actually H that was complaining about this since P was never a particularly tidy person and both A and I were generally quite neat, and none of us had ever had any problems with each other’s cleanliness before. A’s response to this was to just stay out of the house even more, basically only coming home to shower and sleep between work, staying with family and friends every weekend, etc. I didn’t have that option as my own family/SO all lived much further away and I worked more random hours, so I just started keeping to my room more often, making a point of never leaving anything out in communal areas, etc. After another few months, I was starting to get really pissed off about it. Our electric/heating bills had gone up a lot (probably because there was a 4th person staying in the house literally 24/7) and the general vibe in the house was getting really uncomfortable. H never really spoke to any of us, P was constantly stressed about money and was spending all their time either working, hanging out with H, or complaining at A and me that the house was messy - even though at this point H was the only one spending any substantial time in the house. Additionally, things were getting awkward with our landlord because he had been very firm that any extra people moving in had to be cleared with him, but H was always in the house whenever he came by to check things. I ended up losing my temper when P tried to talk about the mess, and basically said “you asked us if H could stay temporarily while they found a job, they’ve been here for 9 months now and still haven’t done that, when are they gonna go?” I did say that I wouldn’t mind it as much if they contributed to rent/bills but I didn’t want to push that too much as I knew it would just end up being P who had to pay that, and even though it was because of them that H was here I knew they would really mess themselves up financially trying to pay two people’s share. That conversation basically ended the friendship between P and me; they were furious that I was apparently being unsupportive of their relationship, and I was furious that they had effectively moved in their partner permanently without actually discussing it with us or our landlord. It also made things tense between A and I; they made a big deal of staying out of this argument and there ended up being a bit of resentment from me that they didn’t back me up (I know that they were also frustrated with the H situation) and resentment from them that my outburst had made the living situation even more uncomfortable than it already was. The impression I got was that H was a waste of space and was somewhat using P; they could have gotten a job like they’d originally planned, but since P was so eager to provide for them they just didn’t bother, and they didn’t really care about the fact that two other human beings were also stuck paying for their share of electricity/heating. I think I might have been an asshole causing a fight about it but by that point I was so sick of feeling like I was walking on eggshells in my own house, especially when I was being made to feel that way by someone who was staying rent-free over a period of time that none of us agreed to, and putting us in danger of getting in trouble with our landlord because of it.

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9wg9ep

AITA for telling someone that his art sucks and he won't amount to much in life in front of his friends and family.

I have a small group of close friends (all males around the age of 25) that I hang out with almost every day. We've all known each other almost all our lives and recently (~1.5 years) got a new addition to our group, John. I never really liked John. He was rude, obnoxious, and would always talk like he knows everything. He was also incredibly pretentious. A friend of mine said "Einstein" once and John interrupted him to say, "I have no idea who you are talking about. Do you mean the reknown scientist Albert EinSHTein?". I once put up a snapchat story saying, "I love college football!", and he replied to my story with "It's called gridiron you moron". I don't understand how but my friends readily accepted him into our friends circle. On one night about 5-6 months ago, we had a little get-together and were just drinking and having fun. John was kind of tipsy. We had some new girls show up so I was kinda working my charm on them. They asked me what I did and I went "I'm a Biomed Engineer". I don't know why that triggered John so much, but he went on this hour long tirade about how I'm just a drone in a rat race. He kept telling me about how I'm just like every other person and lacked creativity. He later passed out, but his little tirade became a running joke in our group. Every time I mention work or anything, John would start roasting me. He nicknamed me 'drone' and kept calling me that even though I expressed multiple times that I dont like to be called a drone. He would keep telling me about how easy engineering is (he watched some intro to engineering courses online) and that any monkey with a brain can do what I do. That really pissed me off. Once I told him to shut the fuck up but he was like, "What are you going to do, fight me? I dare you to swing". I didn't want to fight him so now I started getting referred to as a 'pussy'. Over the last few months or so I kinda went frontpage a couple of times on Reddit and everyone was like, "damn M0shka you famous now" (as a joke). That triggered him even more. He'd say stuff like "His posts suck. They're not even funny. Reddit is now just filled with stupid facebookers who upvote stupid clickbait shit and downvote meaningful talent." At this point it is relevant to bring up what John does. He's a 'photographer' who works as a barista at Starbucks. How good is he? Honestly, he started off as an annoying kid with a DSLR, no talent, and a facebook page where he uploaded 3/10 pictures. Over the years he got slightly better but it's still terrible. I'd say he's more of a 5/10 now. 2 weeks ago, he got rejected from his dream job and made an Instagram post about how National Georgraphy discriminated him because of his skin color (brown). Last week, we had a surprise birthday party at his place with his family (he lives with his parents) and friends. At the party, I apologized to him (I hadn't met him since the post) and said, "I'm sorry you didn't get Nat Geo". To which he got angry again and said, "I'd rather eat my own shit than be a drone like you. What I'm doing is making real art and it's something your robot brain won't ever understand now or in the future, so I actually feel sorry for you". He said stuff like this in front of a girl I was with who got so enraged that she left and told me to tell them that shes sick or something. That's it. I fucking lost it. We were handing out mics to talk about our favorite memory with John and I took that opportunity to say, "Well John, your pictures fucking suck, no wonder Nat Geo rejected you. You're a 27 year old barista with no college degree, mooching off your parents, and taking worse pictures than any jackass with an iPhone camera. You're not going to amount to anything in life so just --- *I get cut off here*" His dad grabbed the mic and shoved me. John came charging at me but everyone just held him back. The rest of the guys were like get him out of here, and I got kicked out. No one has talked to me since the incident and John blocked me from all social media. Our group chat has been pretty silent too. John also apparently made a roast post about me. Idk if I should apologize to him or not. Sorry for the long post. I know John is an asshole, but AITA?

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9hCF3mlJz6n8WGpRyF1ta4QpqHN2ZHZe

b3i9zi

AITA for doing greasy strategies in Super Smash Brothers?

So my friends and I are all big fans of the Smash series. We play at each others houses almost everyday after school. We take the game super seriously and the matches can get pretty intense. Sometimes we do some annoying strategies to get an advantage. Whenever someone does this it usually ends in an argument. Today I did a pretty annoying strategy. I played as Yoshi and put my opponets in a egg and sent them off the stage. They have to button mash to get out and most of the time ends in death. I did this twice in the match and got berated and yelled at by my friends. I told them I just saw the opportunity and took it. They said that it was ruining their fun and I should stop. I took their advice and stopped. What annoys me is that they do similar annoying tactics and defend themselves by saying they were memeing. I think they're being hypocritical. Am I the Asshole?

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GH1Zh2lHPfd8s5OxvwplngTBOawsEo13

b3trm7

AITA for dating a friends ex almost a year after their break up?

So some background my friend and her dated on and off for about 2 years in college. About 6 months after them breaking up/graduation I reached out to her (friends ex) for some advice and things snowballed into a casual relationship. Recently I decided things have gotten to a point where my friend needed to know so I manned up and told him the truth, causing him to flip out and immediately burn bridges. He then reached out to his ex (who I am dating) the following day. I’m not sure what the conversation consisted of, but it caused her to break things off with me. So now I’m left here hurt on both ends because I was trying to be honest and do what I thought was right. So AITA here?

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OcEVCIuTlk3vqGM7QYAS5lSxE9cU2X9s

b2042t

AITA- Kicked out brother

My brother and I grew up in an abusive home. If it hasn’t my dad being the physically abusive alcoholic he was and still is towards us it was my mother being emotionally abusive and neglectful towards us. I left as soon as I can at the age of 23 when I could scape together enough savings for an apartment, and took my brother with me when he turned 18. My brother has his issues. It was fine when he moved in with me and my girlfriend for a few months, but that quickly went down the gutter. He doesn’t contribute to the rent we agreed with, recently lost his job at Best Buy, and trashed my place. When I got back one night volunteering at my local soup kitchen he had about 10 people over, smoking pot, drinking, and destroying my apartment. They broke my toilet somehow, there’s urine all over my carpet, and vomit in my bed. When I woke up the next day there was someone passed out still in the bathtub from the night before that missed my radar. I kicked my brother out, and he refuses to move back in with my parents, he’s mostly bouncing around couches at friends places. I feel terrible for doing this, because he is my brother and I love him. But I still feel guilty for leaving him without a home. Am I the asshole?

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Zga8U04bVxvrhMjt1dfe8Wmlk9AlOMtH

b1zvvu

AITA for not wanting to stay friends with a guy who rejected because I was "too fat"?

I (21/F) met this guy on tinder recently and we hit it off. He was really into my personality, liked that I was sarcastic and introverted like him. We joked, we flirted, and eventually he wanted to call and talk to me on the phone. We talked on the phone until 2am, we were really vibing and he called me "refreshing". ​ For the past year, I've been slowly putting on some weight due to major stressors in my life. I'm 5'7" and about \~ 180lbs while I used to be about 150lbs. Knowing this, I sent him full body pictures of myself (even a nude) to be upfront about how I looked and let him decide if he was physically attracted to my body. He was and everything was fine...until yesterday. ​ We face-timed and he wanted me to stand up and show him my body, I guess as like a final decision as to whether or not he would consider himself attracted to me. He stood up and showed me himself. He was chubbier than I expected, definitely overweight, but I was really enjoying our connection so I accepted what he looked like. Plus we both spoke about how we're not at our best and that we were both in the process of losing weight. ​ I admit, I was anxious to show him myself, not because I lied about anything, I was very blunt about having gained weight and how I was in the gym working it off (already down 10lbs!) Eventually I showed him my body and sorta abruptly said bye out of fear. I texted him instead. ​ He said to me "I understand why you're insecure, it's because you're a bigger girl." I was sorta thrown off by that, and I asked him if he wanted to keep talking or not. He proceeded to ignore me for hours and eventually I texted him and said "I will take your silence as an answer." ​ Hours go by and he eventually texts me something along the lines of how "looks really matter for me" and that I was too fat, FOR HIM. I told him I would leave him alone then and wished him well, but that upset him as he said he wanted to continue talking. ​ **I was mostly uninterested to continuing to talk because of how he handled the situation. We went from texting non-stop for days, to him ignoring me instead of just telling me his feelings, and leaving me hanging for 6 hours. (I know he was free because we made plans to meet that night during those hours.) I felt horrible about myself. I felt he didn't respect me anymore because I was no longer attractive to him so it was fine to be rude and ignore me.** ​ TL;DR: AITA for not wanting to stay friends with a guy who rejected me for being "too fat". He saw my body, ignored me for hours and then was upset when I didn't want to stay friends.

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H64xbvDUo4EWTVFHqon7ZZuxFK8HkecS

akqj8r

AITA for changing lanes and possibly cutting someone off?

This has been bugging me for a little bit since I'm really not sure if I was wrong or right here. I felt like I was in the right and I still do, but I had nobody in the car and asking friends or family will just get my sympathy and not a real answer. A few days ago I was driving on the highway at about 65-70 MPH in the far left lane. In about a half mile I had to exit, so I signal to move to the right so I can prepare for that. There's someone directly in front of me with an open space to my right and ahead of that space, another car. There's also a car slightly further back from that space. I've been signalling for a few seconds and the space is still clear. The car in front of my soon-to-be position is not braking and has nobody in front of him for a good while, so I feel safe getting behind him since I would only be there for a few moments before moving right again to my exit lane. I begin the turn, and as I start to leave my lane - blinker still on - someone I will refer to as "the guy" who was behind that space starts driving forward into the spot I would soon occupy and had been signalling to enter. ​ I keep moving into this spot because I'm not about to pull back into my lane, get boxed in, and miss my exit. I was signalling, I had plenty of room to maneuver into that space, and not only did he practically stand on the horn when I did this, he continued to drive forward almost to BLOCK me from getting into that spot. Technically, I believe he DID have right of way, but for what purpose? He'd just be tailgating the guy in front of him and blocking me from leaving. I'd have to slow down significantly to get behind him and start moving over, which slows down everyone else in my lane. ​ At the end of it, he moved to the right, letting me in, and sped off. So, am I the asshole here? The only thing I may have done wrong in my mind is not having enough space between myself and the car in front of me when I moved over, but I preferred that over not giving the person behind me space: I knew the guy in front of me had nobody in front of him and wouldn't have much of a reason to stomp the brakes, I was paying close attention, and I didn't even plan on being in that lane for more than a couple seconds before moving right again. Also: what's your opinion on people who pass on the right, blocking others from getting to exits? I've always thought that if you want to pass someone, do it on the left so that they're not being blocked from moving over towards the most common side of the road for exits.

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ae7s04

WIBTA if I uninvited my best friend on this trip?

TLDR at the end. So, I'm moving across the country in September and, because I'm really excited about going there/hate where I live now, I've decided to go to that location this summer for a month, as a vacation. I want to become acquainted with the city and just have a good time before living there for real with actual responsibilities. Okay, so, when I was first deciding to go there in the summer, I invited my best friend to come with me. At the time, I thought "Why not? We will definitely have fun and we can spend some time together and make memories before I go in September, as I likely won't see her again until Christmas." She agreed to come along, not for the whole month, but for about two to three weeks in the middle. She's expressed excitement to come (admittedly, I've talked it up a whole heck of a lot). She will be staying here in our city indefinitely as she likes it here, but she's down to come just as a fun vacation. The thing is, I feel differently now. It's not that I don't like her anymore or want to go with someone else. It's that I want to go *alone.* I started on meds to treat my mental health issues a couple of months ago, and now I'm much more socially relaxed and have a more stable sense of self. I'll admit that a small part of my reasoning for inviting her was to ease my fear of being completely by myself over there and having to socialize on my own. But, now that that fear is gone, I don't just want to do exactly that, it's actually the most exciting aspect of the trip: exploring this new place on my ones and meeting new people, discovering myself, relearning how to make friends, challenging myself to be social, managing myself while being on my own, etc... If anything, her presence will be a hindrance on those very things. For a bit more information: She will be going on a trip with another friend for a full month to another country, about a month or two before our trip, so it's not like she won't have a vacation at all if she doesn't come with me. Also, we have not bought tickets/airbnb yet, so there's still time to back out without any (monetary) repercussions. We've been best friends for almost 8 years, she's like a sister to me. She's seen me through a lot of shit and, while we're fundamentally pretty different (I'm more of an artsy, dreamer, neurotic type), she's seriously the best friend I could ask for and I don't want to be a selfish asshole to her. Also, we're both 19 and will be 20 in the summer, if that's pertinent. TL;DR - I invited my best friend to come along with me on a summer vacation. I feel differently now and would rather go alone. There's time to tell her and have her back out, but it feels like an asshole thing to do after hyping this trip up so much. I'm not even really on the fence. I'd still have fun if she came, but I know that I want to go by myself. I feel like a shit friend and an idiot. I really shot myself in the foot when i invited her in the first place. WIBTA if I uninvited her?

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mQbAkvr1F5cXnjYOxLBZFVHxVkdNi9KA

at8oce

AITA for (mostly) cutting contact with my grandparents?

Hey there, first time poster here! Sorry in case the formatting is bad, I'm on mobile rn. Now this requires a bit of background context: I used to have a lot of contact with my grandparents. We don't live far away from each other so my two little brothers and I used to go to them every day after school (I don't anymore, they still do and I don't mind) so we ate lunch there. My mother always pays them every month so we're basically not leeching out my grandpa's money and effort. Now to the actual incident (which was about 4 to 6 months ago): Due to a lot of stupid complications I had to drop out of my apprenticeship and thus have to look for a new one. I had the idea to look for some small jobs to gain first work experiences (my apprenticeship was entirely in a school setting, thus I didn't have much if any work experience) and with that there had to be a lot of paperwork done because Germany. I did as well as I could without much hesitation. So one day I was heading to town to try and gather some documents, but didn't get because appearantly I was at the wrong department or something about that. Anyway, I decided to try again the next day and headed to my grandparents' home. I told them about what happened and out of nowhere, my grandmother starts yelling at me about how idiotic what I'm doing is, for, well, not making a phone call instead. As you maybe can tell already, I just had no words. I started debating it by how it's just my way of doing things and how it wouldn't have made that much of a difference and in the end I could just have been speaking to a wall and expect the same outcome of it. So I just decided "no." and went tf outta there and haven't come back since. To provide a little extra info I'll give some reasons why and why not I could be TA: Reasons why I could be TA: -I never was the best student or most productive person, I always come off as lazy to them (which I am, but not to an extent where I'd flat out deny common sense). I managed to turn up my motivation but it was too late for them to notice. (There are multiple follow-up reasons, but I won't list them unless needed) Reasons why I could be NTA: -I appreciate the support they attempted to provide to me, but their approach to it was rather harming than helping me. It could have worked if I wasn't me. -Due to that, especially my grandpa has become more and more condescending to me, which ain't really helpful either. (I sit at the PC a lot of the time, so all they see is me hitting some buttons on the keyboard and mouse, while in fact there is way more to me than that. Therefore I'm looked at as a disappointment by now, I guess [I have slight, but clearly noticable traits of Asperger's which is a form of autism so I didn't have much of a social life either]) -Not making a phone call, really? I mean, COME ON! I'M WASTING MY TIME, NOT YOURS (rather a rant than a reason but count it if you wanna) So, AITA? You be the judge

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Y04JXmLuVimnkwSolRwD0XkJfXikJt93

agyies

AITA For Being an Asshole To My Ex-GF Who Still Lives With Me

To first five some background, my gf who was also my finance at the time broke up with me right before Christmas. We've lived together for the past 5 years and are still living together since it's only been about 3 weeks since the breakup. About a week after she broke up with me she posted on Facebook that she was single and had a number of guys comment and reach out to her. She met up with one of those guys who was an old friend and has started seeing him and they've already slept together. I don't really have feelings of jealousy at this point. I understand the relationship is over and we weren't right for each other. In other words, I'm not hoping for a reconciliation or that she will take me back. I just want to move on. What has been bothering me is that we still live together and she is currently unable to move out because she doesn't have any money and she really doesn't have anywhere else to go. I pay the rent and the apartment is in my name. She helps out with the bills. Ok, that's fine, I'm not some monster whose going to tell her to pack up and leave the next day in the middle of Winter. I've given her some time to get her financial situation straightened out and move out. But I'm human, even though I said I'm not jealous, it still bothers me that she posted this on FB and started sleeping with this guy while we are still living together, and she is unable to support herself. I still have to be in the same house as her while she is texting him or while she's getting ready to go see him. I do have to say, she's been really sweet to me through all this and we are on pretty good terms. She'll even try to come over and cuddle me at night. Sometimes I'm ok with this, other times I tell her to go away, because I don't want her touching me, because it just messes with my head. But the thing is, I'm just walking around all agitated and little things that she does have been bothering me even more lately. This morning, I told her how I felt, and I wasn't very nice about it. I basically said that I felt disrespected that she started sleeping with another guy a week after breaking up with me, knowing that she is still living in MY HOUSE, and is unable to leave for the moment. She started crying about how I was making things harder for her and that's she's been sweet to me, which is true, and that I'm being an asshole for reminding her that it's my house and that I don't want her there anymore. Jeez, reading this back, I feel like it should be in reddit/r/niceguys or something. But then part of me is thinking I'm being an asshole for being an asshole to her about this since I did give her time to move out and I have reminded her more than once that I don't want her in my house any longer. I just feel like my life is on hold. She can just go to this new guy's house and sleep with him, but I have to wait until she moves out to start my life.

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wUMuzo6waQVtZWKzk7inLO4xmvqXRjAo

b9613x

WIBTA if I fasted for extended periods of time despite my wife's history with eating disorders?

Married for 2 years. My wife has struggled with anorexia in her past and only started getting better after I started cooking for her (when we were still friends). Over the time progress was made, she was back to a healthy weight, started cooking for herself again, and developed healthy eating habits. While she got over her anorexia however I started eating more and more, I wouldn't say it's an eating disorder more unhealthy eating habits. Anyways what prompted me to do something was that I learned that I'm technically obese now (!!!! I used to be so fit wtf happened) so I signed up for a gym and restricted my diet... to literally nothing. I read up on water fasting and decided on going 5 days with no calorie intake, and the weekends off where I'd eat keto. I've done this before I met her so I'm not going in inexperienced. ​ I brought this up with a friend and he said it would trigger my wife's anorexia and make her relapse into her old habits. I think it's worth mentioning that she occasionally (once every month or two) refuses to eat anything and I have to coax her and tell her she's beautiful etc. I'm worried that if she sees me going on hunger strike she'll feel compelled to do the same and as I lose weight she'll have more reason to relapse. I do think I'm going to go through with it because I do want to lose weight. ​ (As a side note in case you're wondering why I'm going nuclear and jumping into such a restrictive diet, I've tried normal diets before and I can't really stop myself. It's all or nothing.)

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cTqQs9AKmNNK8OyWzQx1oFtWYgULLtMj

b3h1b1

AITA for asking someone to apologize?

I run a Dnd campaign my wife (Lisa) and best friend (Robert), among others. We have a policy with accepting new people. They play a temp character for 3 weeks. At the 4th week, if there are no objections we allow them to make their own original character and join anew. This is so we can vet new people because unfortunately, you tend to run into a lot of weirdos in the nerd community. About halfway through the encounter, Steve starts getting bored. He fidgets a lot, squirms in his seat, starts toying with stuff on my desk, etc. He gets up, wanders behind me (a big no-no in DnD), takes my guitar down and starts playing it. I turn to him, a bit confused and ask, "Yo, what are you doing? Put that up and go sit down. What the hell man?" He puts the guitar away and sheepishly makes it make to his seat. The rest of the night was uneventful, so I texted him this morning. "I should mention something before it becomes a problem. I don't mind folks standing up and stretching their legs when it's not their turn. I'd rather you stay focused and strategize, but I understand if you need to move around. But, please don't come into view of my screen, and especially don't start touching my stuff or playing my guitar. I'm not sure what gave you the idea that was ok, but it was definitely not. The guitar is a gift from my wife and it isn't for others to play. I'm not upset with you, I understand most people who own a guitar expect that people will try to play it. I wish you'd asked first, but it's not like you broke it or anything, so I'm just saying this as a caution. But during a combat encounter, playing the guitar is just... an odd choice for your time, I think." STEVE "you should probably detune it if it isn't for playing. Takes pressure off the truss rod and keeps it from bending the fret board" At this point, I've gone from annoyed but willing to talk it out, to somewhat miffed. Like what the fuck dude? Someone tells you to not touch their stuff and you say "well don't make it inviting if you don't want someone touching it?" Me "It's fine the way it is. I play it. Not you." STEVE "You're belaboring the point. I understood last night." ME "And yet. You haven't apologized" I showed this to Lisa and Robert, both of whom I trust completely with these sorts of things. Where Lisa at first was like "Maybe he's just lonely and has a hard time in social situations? Remember that Kurtzgezat video on loneliness? He mentioned he doesn't have any friends," Robert said, "You should have just let it go, dude." The rest of the conversation with Steve were along the lines of how me asking him to apologize is "demanding he prostrate himself" to me, or that telling him to stay out from behind the DM screen is me accusing him of cheating. So now I feel like an asshole. I don't think it's unfair of me to set clear boundaries for guests in my house, and certainly don't think simply talking about that is "belaboring the point."

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aa6ner

AITA for refusing to bring some items back for my uncle ?

Some background, so I'm Filipino and live in the US and I travel to the Philippines pretty frequently, I usually go 2-3x a year. It's kind of tradition that when someone comes home to the Philippines we bring back presents for our family in the Philippines and also bring back presents when I go back to the US. When I first started to going to the Philippines, I was pretty open with allowing family members to give me a package to take with me to the Philippines since the airline allowance allows me to bring two 50lbs boxes. I usually stuff this full with presents. Every time I've gone back to the Philippines I have a certain uncle that pretty much has taken advantage of this since he always has something to give me to give to someone else in the Philippines and when I go back to the US he would also have a package for him. On my last trip I was given a package for him that included a very expensive ring because he was planning to propose to his GF with it and a Rolex watch. I was very uncomfortable with taking these items home because of the large value of them items and I was worried since the responsibility falls on me if something were to happen. I kept refusing that I didn't want to take it but my aunts ( his sisters ) kept saying it was fine for me to take. So I felt pressured to do so and I did it. I am now going on another trip back to the Philippines and this time I was told he has a package for me that will include a ring and a watch. This was the only thing I was told. What bothers me is that he does not ask me directly that he will be giving me these items, he only informs my dad (his brother) that he is giving me these items. Also, when I am packing my stuff home to go back to the US, I will find out from my aunt that they have items for him and this should be added to my luggage. Mind you on my last trip they told me literally hours before my flight back to the US that I was bringing some things back for him and so I told my aunts since they wanted to add his stuff in it, it is now their responsibility to repack my stuff and seal the boxes. In his defense, he does pick me up from the airport and take me home since the airport is 2 hrs away. I like my uncles and he's a very nice guy but at this point I would rather take the train and the bus home from the airport which extends the trip from the airport to 4hrs. My experience with him is making want to refuse all my family member from asking me to take stuff for them. TL;DR-At the start I was open with everyone asking me to take packages with me to the Philippines but my uncle has taken advantage of this and I'm now refusing his request. PS I've been a long time lurker on Reddit and this is my very first post. Hopefully I did it correctly !

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a8ezuu

AITA for wanting a sleep in?

Hi all, long time lurker. First time posting :) I want to know if AITA for getting upset with my partner for sleeping in every weekend, while I get up to care for our daughter. We both work full time on different schedules. I usually leave for work 6.30AM before the household wakes up. My partner gets our daughter ready for childcare every morning and drops her off before heading to work. Generally I will finish work before him, he’s a PT so his schedule varies. We alternate days collecting her and bringing her home. On a slow day for him he will still sleep in until about 8.30-9AM during the week. Every weekend it is expected that I will get up with our daughter and play with her downstairs. While he gets to sleep in until 10-11AM. His reasoning is ‘I get up with her every morning and get her ready’. So he’s entitled to sleep in every weekend. I’m upset because this means I never get a sleep in. I’m up at 5.30AM weekdays and 7AM at the latest on weekends. AITA for making creating an argument over this? Yes he does a lot for her during the week, but I also work full time and would appreciate a sleep in too. It seems unfair. Or am I being unappreciative of his ‘early rises’ during the week. I say ‘early rises’ because his idea of getting up with her in the mornings. Is feeding her breakfast and putting on a movie while he goes back to sleep.

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yzroOIwh9jeaBvR4DQdHPxrsz4e3SCJQ

b2pz3z

AITA for "stealing my buddy's girl" and refusing to speak to him anymore?

Ok, so I took a motorcycle rider's course a few weeks ago so that I could get my license. In this class was a girl I thought was beautiful and I took my chances to talk to her. Much to my surprise and happiness, she liked me! As of a few days ago we are officially dating and I couldn't be happier. Then it became the source of an argument... My friend (Let's call him Shawn) for the past month had been obsessing over this girl he had in a mini-semester class at community but never said anything more about her besides "She has dark hair", "She's super cool", and "I like her a lot". So I knew nothing about this girl who he had been going on and on about. By his description she could have been just about anybody! Well, I went to hang out with Shawn and my dudes last night and was excited to tell the guys the news that I found a girlfriend. I showed them her picture and they all told me congrats and how I found me a pretty one. But Shawn got quiet for a bit then upset and started saying how I stole the girl he was interested in, that I must have sought her out by his description, and that he couldn't believe I'd do that to him. I could really only say "wow, what are the chances" and that I was sympathetic and likely wouldn't have pursued her if i knew she was the one he was interested in. He followed this up by saying we needed to break it off because it wasn't right. To which I honestly laughed and told him he was crazy and there was no chance of me doing that. I found a small bit of humor in the chances of this happening and gave a small chuckle and, well, this set him off into a verbal rage and him calling me an asshole (which made me think of you guys here lol). After a bit, and a comment about how he was going to message her, I cut him off and told him he was crossing a line by now actively becoming a threat to my new relationship. I apologized at the unfortunate absurdity of the situation we were in but if he was going to be this way that I wouldn't have a choice but to put distance between us. He didn't back down so I told my group I was leaving so Shawn could get his head straight. Am I really an asshole for not breaking up with my new girlfriend? Or was I an asshole with how I handled that? Or am I just now an asshole for my clickbait title? Lol

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Ep5hLLhzkKPpjYhp6jlgZZ93Hw5o7tRq

a0eqdf

WIBTA for contacting child services?

I created a throwaway for this, but it’s been something that’s been bugging me for a while. A few months ago I moved into a new apartment, and since day one there is a small child who lives a few floors below me who screams non stop. All day. All night. There hasn’t been a single day where this child does not scream. To me it’s not your typical toddler temper tantrum or something playful, it’s a horrendous screaming and crying that sometimes lasts for an hour. Many people in my apartment building have complained, myself included. Police have been called, city council has been called, even social services(all from other people not me). Nothing has come out of this. When the parents were approached they refused to admit anything was wrong and won’t take steps to improve the situation. The neighbour who lives directly above them is struggling the most with this and the other night he lost his shit and was yelling through the walls, slamming doors and banging on the floor. I’m also nervous he’ll act out and do something stupid to this family if things go unresolved. There’s a rumour that the child has developmental issues and that’s why it screams, but I can’t help feel something worse is happening. As it stands, people are working with the landlord to try and get this family evicted from the apartment since there have been so many complaints about the noise. Part of me feels horrible inside for kicking out a family that might be struggling, but I feel even more horrible for standing by listening to this child scream all day and night and not doing anything when it might be getting neglected or abused. My biggest dilemma is causing more problems for this family than they already BUT ONLY IF they’re not neglecting the child. I’m sure it’s hard enough handling a child that screams all day, getting evicted and having child services on your ass would be even worse. So would I be the asshole for calling child services? It’s been ripping me apart and Im mostly concerned about the welfare of the child as I’m sure spending all day screaming and crying would be miserable.

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akt8eq

WIBTA for asking my best friend what she plans to wear to my dad's inurnment?

My dad will be interred at Arlington Cemetery in the next couple of months. My best friend is planning to attend. In the past she has embarrassed me before on three occasions wearing a black skirt and knee socks combo that in my opinion is too short for how she carries herself; you can see her bum if she bends over the wrong way etc. I hate to feel like a slut shamer or to be policing what women wear but it is personally not something I would ever wear as I feel it is too revealing (ironic as I work a side job that involves nudity/little to no clothing). Would I be a dick if I ask her what she's planning on wearing? Obviously it'll likely be black which is why I'm worried this too-short-skirt (again, imo) might make an appearance. It would make me feel anxious because I know for sure my mom and sister would be judging her for it (they are a lot more conservative than I am) and I'm worried I'd be focusing on that and getting anxious about it rather than being present at my dad's ceremony. tl;dr: WIBTA if I ask my friend what she plans on wearing to my dad's inurnment because I'm afraid she might wear a skirt I consider too short?

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agupd3

AITA for letting this piss me of?

I will try to keep it short. So I moved countries to study. I met him abroad, but he was not from that country either. We started dating and he always spoling me. To be clear, I never ask or asked for anything. He knew I did not come from money or had much of it. When i finished my degree ( he had been working since 16, we are now 23), he found a house in his country and asked me to move in with him. Fron the beggining I told him I could not afford a house, I could not afford most things to live with him. So he wanted to pay for everything,( I still bought groceries and everything I could with my budget ). When I told him I did not have money he said :" I do not want you to worry about money, I am here, what is mine is yours, you do not have to worry at all" since he alone could afford it (I do though want a job and pay for as much or more than he has). So I moved countries to his hometown ( it was a good thing since this country had good opportunities in my area of studies ). Now its been 4 months, I have been looking for a job and for 1 month I was working as a sales assistant. The job was horrible and after a month I couls not do it anymore, I had his support, he incentivated me to quit it since he could see it was not good for me. All the time I was not working he would come home and we would argue. This are some of the things he would say : " I go to work for you,I get the money so you can sit at home all day". If something broke and he came home and tried to fix it he would shout at me : " I go to work to get koney to pay for your shit and you are at home breaking stuff so I can fix it?". Getting a job in my area is extremely hard, and I am trying ( I have another job interview this week). Is he right? Should I try harder or so somehing different? Or is it just stress and he need understanding? Or should he not be saying this things.

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a3owkx

AITA for telling my coworkers a study on ‘penises being smaller due to people using anti-adhesive frying pans’ sounds like bullshit?

Found this subreddit today and it felt like a good place to share something that happened to me at work and that I’m genuinely confused by. Earlier today my coworker read out loud a news headline that basically said “New study shows using anti-adhesive frying pans make penises smaller” to which I promptly replied “yeah that sounds like bullshit”. I don’t recall all the details but basically a university in Italy examined 380 penises and found that the men from an area with a higher concentration of PCP (a chemical found in pans, towels and some other stuff) had penises 12.5% smaller than men who lived in areas with a smaller concentration of PCP. To my limited scientific knowledge, the claims here still sound a bit ehhh and like they’re just trying to grab attention. I tried to say that this study was making big claims and without reading it and seeing how the researchers addressed external factors and formed their focus groups the whole thing sounded, well, bullshitty. What followed were the weirdly most intense 15 of arguing in my time at this work place. My coworkers were really upset that I was trying to “discredit the scientists” and stated that this study could have big implications to the scientific world and that I didn’t known that it was bullshit! So I shouldn’t say that! At that point I decided to shut up because what I genuinely thought was an innocuous discussion on an article about small dicks had gotten really heated and one of coworkers looked really red in the face SO MY QUESTION IS: Am I the asshole for saying this study was bullshit? I know from a life of being me that I can sound quite brash at times but I’ve been really trying to hold that back for the past year and I thought? I was doing well? Maybe not.

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