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Ss9AchGoIQL4ukyNSUdK5Ecw47rU2dgk

abq1ie

AITA for cutting off contact with long term friends?

This is a long one. All through middle and high school there was a group of 6 of us, we were really close and spent a lot of time together. Eventually we parted ways when we went to college. After freshman year I was planning a trip to where one of them (let's call her Anna) was studying and I figured that I could meet up with her so I started talking to her about dates and places I could stay and stuff. Now, some background. These friends (Anna included) are pretty flaky. They had a bad habit of always cancelling plans at the last minute, which is a pet peeve of mine. We had previously planned a cross country road trip. I specifically told them (having been cancelled on last minute several times before) not to get started with this trip unless they seriously intended on coming. Of course, they cancelled and I got pretty annoyed (I did not confront them or do anything other than leave the chat group I was in with them). Now after this things went back to normal (or so I thought) but recently I found out from another friend that they thought I was being a bitch (which they did not communicate to me in any way). So back to Anna. I had asked her if I we could maybe stay in a room together while I was there and to give me her dates. I kept asking her for a few days but eventually she stopped replying. I got pissed (having been in this situation before) and just planned my trip without her involved. A few months later she let us know that her uncle had died. I expressed my condolences. However, a few days later I found out via snapchat story that she had actually come into town (across the country from where she was studying), met up with 3/6 girls in our group and gone back to college without even telling me or my other friend Barbara (also part of the group) that she was even in town. I was extremely shocked and upset by this. I knew maybe I shouldn't have ghosted her about the trip but to come all the way into town and not even seen me (or my other friend)? Furthermore, a few weeks later she came back again to attend some event, once again didn't contact me or my other friend and left without telling us that she was even in town. Since then I haven't spoken to her or the other girls in the group she met with who apparently didn't think it was worthwhile to let us know that she had come back. She had given no indication that she was upset or angry with me in any way. I should add that we had already been growing apart for a while (the 4 of them vs me and my friend Barbara). I don't know why she would suddenly stop talking to me. Is it my fault for being annoyed that they flaked on the road trip I was planning? If they had explained to me that they were hurt by what I had done at the time I would have apologised but they made no mention of it to me (one of them told Barbara, who recently told me). So AITA? Should I apologize and try to patch up? ​

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9U6QsPs7ryFcb160TyndgeZiBvMP32Ci

ahtb30

AITA for wanting to raise hell on SM at the dealership

Long time lurker, first time poster. Forgive the formatting as I am on mobile. I tried to be as detailed as possible to remain un-biased to whomever these reviews go to but I was also limited on characters (5000). SM = Service manager SA = Service Advisor CA = Cashier This is what happened to me recently, and I am not sure if I am the asshole or not, but this is a copy/paste of the review I filled out. (A form they sent me in an email, as they do after all service visits.) It should also be known that SMs emotions may have been involved because as I was initially going back and forth with SM, SA received a phone call that her mother had passed. She did say they were not close, nor have they been for years, and that it was a long time coming but she was very emotional, but did not leave work nor plan to see her. This is also the main reason SM decided to tall to me on the phone, I believe however I did offer to wait until SA had a chance to take everything in and do what she needed to do. SA was not involved after her receiving the phone call. Also, that said, SM was already dead set on me paying for the alignment before SA got the terrible news. I would like to start off by emphasizing that the service advisor SA, who took my car in and helped me throughout the process, was phenomenal. SA was very courteous and upfront with me regarding my vehicle (including teaching me about a feature on my vehicle that i did not even know about!) So first and foremost, I would like to thank SA! I believe it is worth noting that if it weren't for SA, I would be leaving a 1 star review. If I had the option to review SA on her service alone, as well as the cashier CA, I would be leaving them both 5 stars. However, my experience overall was not pleasant due to the SM's actions. SM was not only very unprofessional, but also unnecessarily confrontational with me. He was also unreasonable, and did not allow me to explain myself fully, without cutting me off to speak over me repeatedly while I was trying to voice my concerns and reasoning. On Thursday evening , I dropped my vehicle off at the service department, due to an impact with an object or pothole in the road early that same day. SA took my car in to have 4 new rims and tires installed on the vehicle, including necessary labor (mount and balance of tires, R&R TPMS sensors from old rims to new, and an alignment.) I was clear upfront that the reasoning for my visit was because of this impact, and to let me know if anything I was unaware of needed to be replaced/worked on as a result. The requested work was completed on Friday, and I was informed that the drivers side front strut and steering knuckle needed replacement (I was not asked if I would like to go ahead and have this done before the alignment, which in my experience is common practice as to avoid charging the customer for 2 alignments for essentially one job.) I was also informed that it was obvious that these parts needed replacement as you could visually see the drivers side front tire now had a heavy negative camber (think drift car, where the tires tilt extremely inward.) At this point, I was disappointed on having to spend another $1,000 or so (as quoted) on this visit, but I understand life happens and fully expected to have these parts replaced at my cost. However, I also assumed I would not be paying for an alignment at this time due to the "damaged" suspension components that would require another alignment after replacement should I have gone that route. I was unable to pick the vehicle up the same day, due to working late so I let them know I would be coming in Saturday morning to settle payment, and reschedule having the damaged suspension components replaced. Continuing on to the morning of Saturday, I arrive to pick up my vehicle and am immediately put off by the fact that the full cost of the alignment is still on my bill. The alignment print out was also not attached to my paperwork (I believe this to be common practice.) After speaking with the front end technician, SA, and SM, I'm told that I cannot take possession of my vehicle without paying for the full price of the alignment. However, after I myself begin asking why I am paying for 2 alignments, SM agrees with me that he will not charge me for the 2nd alignment, if I bring my vehicle back the following week to have the remaining suspension work completed. He states that he will just remove the previous techs pay and apply it to the next when he performs the work. As I am disappointedly waiting in line to pay for the services, I realize that it is not right for me to pay for an alignment when my car has not actually been aligned properly. So, I asked CA if i could please speak with SM again. She could not find him, and so she calls him on her personal cellphone. He then requests to speak to me over the phone rather than allowing me to wait for him to be available to speak in person. To summarize the conversation between SM and I, I would repeatedly attempt to relay my concern and reasoning to him while he would repeatedly cut me off and speak over me not allowing me to finish my sentence or how I would like to go about the situation. I did manage to ask him to politely allow me to speak and finish my thoughts, which was that I agreed that his technician deserved to be paid for the work he did, but not for the complete alignment that was not performed. SM also admitted to me that his tech did not do anything more than an alignment check, and did not even pick up a wrench to attempt an alignment. I told him I would like to pay for half of the alignment cost, as he did half of a job. He agreed and I gladly paid the fair cost. At this point I take possession of my vehicle only to realize myself that my frame has been compromised, therefore the suspension parts were not the true cause of not being able to align and would have been an unnecessary cost to me. I then decide to go though my insurance who verifies (at the time of writing this) the suspension work was actually not required and appears to be in perfect working order. So, AITA for wanting this guy to be reprimanded within his company?

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WRONG

hhXS0hZff9oZwFFuWpalQvMmQxZS7bhI

a2hi75

AITA for wanting my wife to help me learn Spanish?

She grew up in the Caribbean, Spanish as a first language, but learning English growing up. She's lived in the States for about 15 years now and is fluent in both languages. We, obviously, speak English at home, but she has family local and stays in touch with family back home, so she speaks Spanish pretty much daily. Just not to me. Ok, when we first started dating, I told her I was trying to learn Spanish. Where I live and with the job I do, speaking Spanish is very useful. But, yes, I also was trying to score a few points early in the relationship. I specifically remember her saying something to the effect of "yeah, that's cool, but if you ask for my help, don't flake out on me". Ok, fair enough. In the last couple of years, I've made some progress, using the phone apps, audio lessons, workbooks, etc. I honestly feel like I've kept up my end of the "don't flake out on me" deal. But getting her to help me has been very frustrating. I've pulled out the books right in front of her and started working on lessons or whatever and gotten no reaction at all. Directly asking for help isn't much better...at best, I get an unenthusiastic correction on my pronunciation or whatever...at worst, I feel actively discouraged. For example, something happened today which kinda prompted this post...I sent her a text message asking, in Spanish, what a particular word meant in English. Her response was "what are you trying to say". Ok, so autocorrect did kinda jack it up, but I clarified it. The response was "I have no idea what you're trying to say." So I went back....checked my work...sounded it all out...no, I felt like I got it pretty darn close, if not 100% accurate. When I said so, she said she meant that she didn't know the word that I was asking about. Ok, so why not just say that instead of making it seem like everything I said was so wrong that you couldn't decipher it? This is characteristic of the "help" that she has provided over the time that I've been asking for it. I'll practice something, try to make sure I have it right or really close...and then when I ask her about it or try to say something to her, all my effort is thrown out on account of a minor mistake or mispronunciation here or there....which is kinda the point, since I'm trying to learn... So here's the part where I feel like I might be the asshole...this gets frustrating. She expresses a desire to help, but the help she provides is not...helpful. I get it...just because someone speaks a language doesn't a) mean they are proficient at teaching it or b) obligated to help someone else learn, regardless of their relationship. So she says she wants to help, but her actions don't really match that. Am I the asshole for pushing the issue? Not sure if this matters...but there is one more layer or two to this which makes it a little more frustrating for me. One, she is in school...and frequently asks for my help with papers, projects, studying, etc. I want to see her be successful, so I happily agree. To then get sub-optimal support in return kinda sucks. Also, and more serious, I think...we spend quite a bit of time with her family, both stateside and when we travel back to her home. Some of them speak English, but very often, pretty much the entirety of the conversation during these visits will be in Spanish. I'm stuck there, sitting next to her, barely able to understand what everyone is talking about (although that has gotten better with my own self study). When I expressed frustration with that circumstance, I get the same old story of wanting to help, but then nothing ever coming of it, as usual. So...am I the asshole for trying to get the help from my wife who is obviously not really into helping me? Or do I have a case that she could step up her game a little bit?

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WRONG

nvhN7Ke1VcCQPBlqTaNIAQzJaVSqt6AQ

ajl3u6

AITA for trying to recommend my friend a show?

Whenever my friend recommends me a show I will set some of my time aside to watch it and if I enjoy it I will finish it but whenever I recommend my friend a show he does not even attempt to watch the first episode of it.. AITA?

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XMDHbot7JKuTUKLqb8AatvzEqJ2ZBodv

aoaynv

AITA for sleeping with an ex's (broke up 3 years prior) roommate? [longish]

I suppose just feeling the need to put down context is pushing the needle in a certain direction. This doesn't bode well...: ​ This happened almost exactly 1 year ago, it was the week of Valentines 2018. I had a gf for about 7 years, off-on for the last 3. She was my first kiss and everything, we were both from different states, and different lives, we met in a New England boarding school... I was fortunate to have a mother that saw where things were going in my family and area (older brother caught a felony for bank robbery, younger didnt finish HS) and pushed me to enroll in programs that assisted low-income children in finding private secondary education. I got a full-ride, so did she, thats kinda how we bonded in a school filled with millionaire kids. I thought I loved her, we spent every moment together, as kids do. By senior year, I was pretty sick of it, and was looking forward to separating as we were going to different schools. ​ We were off and on for the first 3 years after HS, at one point I had an apartment with her, which ended catastrophically imo. We got in a fight, she got drunk, went out and cheated halfway through the lease. We ended our exclusive relationship and rode the rest of the lease out as friends with benefits essentially... when I left she dated my 'good' friend for the next 3 years. ​ It was pretty sad we barely talked after I left, after sharing so much. At a certain point I started doing meth. Not too much, but yeah, I was functioning; bills, apartment, job, etc. She heard through the grapevine what I was up to and paid me a surprise visit while I was sleeping off some days. By literally getting my landlord to let her in the building to bang on my door as I was essentially comatose. When she saw that it wasn't just cannabis I was smoking, she told my parents despite promising not to. ​ I got pretty upset about her squealing, and so she extended an olive branch, to visit her where she just got a new job, and a nice apartment. I understood the sentiment, but she was inviting me to stay with her over the week of Valentines Day. She was still seeing that 'good' friend at the time, but as I understood it, they were long distance and open while they were apart. She also spent her bday with him 1 day before my visit. ​ Thats the context lol. ​ I flew out, and took a bus to visit her. I arrive, and its quickly apparent to me I'm there to be her romantic preoccupation for the week. I wasn't entirely surprised, but the sex was intensely disappointing. However, when she was at work, her roommate and I would hang out. We tried not to, but after we discussed how my ex was with her current bf just 1 day before I arrived, we soon became intimate. I don't think I'll ever experience that type of passion ever again. We were planning on telling the ex before I left, we just were unsure of how to broach the topic. ​ On one occasion, 4 days before my plane was going back home, she came home early from work. She walked in on us, and blew up. Hysterical. It was funny one of the first things out of her mouth was, 'and you're sober!?" I reminded her we broke up three years ago and she had a current bf. She called everyone we knew and told them, airing our dirty laundry to every single contact we shared, pretty sure the teachers at my HS heard about it even. ​ Within 2 hours, I was packed and on a bus to Chicago. My plane wasn't for a few days, and my mind, heart, and soul were in complete tumult. I didn't even care about the ex, all I could think about was the roommate and the destroyed look in her eyes as I waved goodbye. I could have gotten a room for 4 days, I was riding off some pretty generous crypto gains at the time, but I in a pretty weird emotional state and wasn't thinking clearly. So I had myself a little adventure, if you care to keep on with this rambling: [https://www.wattpad.com/567699124-a-winter%27s-walk-peeking-through-plywood](https://www.wattpad.com/567699124-a-winter%27s-walk-peeking-through-plywood) ​ so am the i asshole. or is she. I could have played it better, for sure. But she didn't have to kick me out is all I'm saying, she invited me there to 'help me get away from bad influences' and then proceeds to kick me out to Chicago. And the roommate were definitely going to tell her, we were just waiting for a smooth opportunity. /end ​ ​ ​

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cjL1V90mJw7Jij68Ddcy3mjXAUdGA21l

a8i77s

AITA for slipping obnoxious neighbors a note?

Okay, I lived with these people for a semester. They didn’t clean the shared bathroom, broke quiet hours rules and generally irritated me for a semester with loud music and obnoxious noises. They also left a wad of long, black hair in the drain. That was the final straw, plus I was going home for winter the next day so, I typed up a note in anger and slid it under the door. I insulted their music, loud noises and shedding problem. I feel slightly bad about how angry I was, but the semester wore on me and I had finals right before the hair wad and needed to shower before they took it for a solid hour. They also were up at all hours chattering. 10pm-10am is the usual quiet hours in my dorm. Finals week it was 24 hours. They repeatedly refused to shut up when I tried to study in the evenings. They refused to communicate. So, am I the asshole?

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AUTHOR

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0ZVlQIJZNssIyErfRASK2pNVfuzbgUPF

av1ftr

AITA for doing but not folding the laundry?

This is a silly post compared to some but I feel like I have to get some second opinions. The current household set up is my mom + dad then the three kids, my brother sister and I. I primarily do the laundry which means collecting dirty clothes, sorting them, washing + drying and bringing them upstairs. The one thing I don't do is folding. An important factor here is that my mom and dad want their laundry folded while the other kids and I do not mind if our laundry is folded or not. When this is brought up my dad claims it would be better for me to not do the laundry at all if I'm not going to fold it at the end since it builds up on the couch. My logic is as follows. Me doing the laundry aids the family better then not doing it at all even if I do not fold it at then end. AITA? (Note this is all in good fun. I'm probably still going to do the laundry, my dad will still ask for me to fold it all, I'll do it because he works constantly and deserves it. I just want to know who others agree with.(

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jrpBBQte8GfiXw1Az2lxYjjZtgE6EQra

awp9rr

AITA for not trying harder to make time to game with my friend?

Backstory on the topic, I have this friend. We've always been real close, I've helped him through family issues, he helped me through some rough times, the usual sappy friend stuff. We also had a pretty common ground on what video games we liked and this was our primary way of hanging out. Up until recently that is. Due to a mix of circumstances he has far more free time than I do, and we've barely done anything together in a while. He's always got a new game he's really into, and by the time I get around to getting said game for myself, the coversation usually goes Me: "Hey dude I got that game wanna play?" Him: "I don't know man I'm pretty far in, you can't really do the same content I can/you won't do any damage/ etc etc" This has happened with quite a few things. Monster Hunter, Destiny, most recently War Thunder. Is it petty that I feel like I'm getting left behind? I want to go back to being able to game with my best bud but finding something we can both play on the same level has been a struggle lately. Sorry if this got dangerously close to /r/RelationshipAdvice territory lol.

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OTHER

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Ii8OuIcny1WhRd7YZSxFWonw4nanDt7B

b2thfc

AITA for not playing Minecraft with my girlfriend? (Mobile post, sorry for formatting)

My friend and I just got destiny 2 on sale on the PS4 and have been stoked to play together. I was playing for a while today when my girlfriend said to me ‘We should play Minecraft soon.’ ‘Yeah,’ I replied, getting ready to quit. ‘You want to play now?’ She said that she didn't want to interrupt my game but I said it's okay because I wasn't doing anything at that moment, just walking around the farm. I was willing to switch games right then. She goes back to what she was doing on her phone so I continue playing. After I'm bored of the game, I turn off the console and she confronts me; ‘You're done?’ ‘Mhm. That's about it for now’ ‘I asked to play Minecraft two hours ago.’ I explained to her that I fully acknowledged her asking earlier and even offered to stop my game immediately. I further explained that after she expressed concern with interrupting a mission, I insisted that I wasn't doing anything important and could stop immediately. That she was the one who essentially decided not to play, not me. She got upset with me after that. Nothing serious, but it was noticeable she was bothered. So am I the asshole for not switching over to play Minecraft after insisting that it was an okay time and she didn't tell me when she wanted to play?

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5Ay4bDaFBNHy6fQwL2UjZvLGuloorfWc

aw2v9o

AITA

I don't want to give too much away. Throwaway account. Going to just speed it up. Very good friends with 2 people. Played alot online etc. 2 very good friends, found out friend A was cheating on his girlfriend/fiancee, I stopped talking to him, I thought it would be best for me to leave the situation, and just not get involved. I ended the relationship with him. Told him I didn't appreciate what he was doing, and told him to rethink his life. I didn't want to ruin his life, and told him to spend more time with his wife(newly wed) and kids. About 9 months later, Now Friend B is starting a relationship with this bit on the side from friend A. And I just can't be fucking arsed now. I just don't appreciate the whole situation from what's been going on. Friend B was the one who told me about the fling, and they were even closer friends than I was with either of them. They still talk also. Don't understand why he's going out with someone who would happily sleep with a practically married man (they are in fact married now) Just feel like because of the whole situation, I've lost 2 good friends. I understand he might be happy with her. I just can't justify it morally. Or am I just over thinking too much? Edit: I know I'm an asshole for not telling the partner about the cheating. That's not what I'm asking. There are kids involved, and as much as I want to see him hurt, I don't want to see a family argument with kids involved because of me. A few people know about the fling, including a family member and hasn't said anything, I don't think it's down to me.

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OTHER

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HKAhzFUR2aQCnL9PFIKoLhsXhKTwiTmc

b4mic5

AITA for not telling my best friend his GF is continuing to cheat on him?

For a little bit of the backstory, this guy and his gf have been together for roughly 2 1/2 years. About a year ago, I reached out to my friend to tell him that she was cheating on him, and should do something about it. He felt conflicted because the only proof I had at the time was just some of the first hand accounts where she’s dancing with other guys or she’s being flirty when he’s not around. They are long distance, and when we go out to bars, I constantly find her in situations where she’s dancing with other dudes. Fast forward, they’re still together, and now I have some more proof where i have personally heard her say she’s made out with other dudes/ wants to fuck one of her co-workers. The reason I haven’t told him lately is because I’m afraid he won’t do anything, plus she is best friends with my gf as well and I am afraid of effecting their relationship.

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OTHER

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g22g2GaecrE5S9SSBmIWxgtiPUdHHIAO

b8upe6

AITA for going to a different tattoo shop when my friend didn’t set up the appointment?

So, my best friend was moving away and so as a going away thing we decided to get tattoos together. So I went to the shop my friend works at and where I’ve gotten work done before. She’s a floor girl, so her job is literally to set up appointments with the artists. So I went there told her what we wanted and what day we wanted to have it done. She said it would be no problem and said which artist it would be. So then I ended up just hanging out for close to three hours just chatting with everyone. So when I went to leave I asked if it was all good and she said yeah. So I thought everything was set. The next day I sent her a text and asked if I needed to text the artist what we wanted and stuff and she tells me that isn’t how it works. I need to set up an appointment and put a deposit down. Well at that point I got pretty pissed because it was the whole reason I was at the shop to begin with. So I asked her why we didn’t do it the day before and she just laughed and said she didn’t know. So I text my friend about it and his friend suggests another shop so I went by there and instantly the guy set everything up and we showed up at our scheduled time and got our work done and we were both happy with it and had a great time. Well I saw her and a bunch of people from the shop tonight and she asked about it and asked where I got it done and I told her and everyone got mad at me for it. So AITA for going somewhere else?

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OTHER

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depv4r5VaZyjnpHABHc42XeWTD6bK2Ln

aeon0p

AITA For asking a social worker to have their person stop talking about me to themselves and to others?

I didn't know how to word the title but basically at my job we we have this one person we will call her Bertha. Bertha I think has spilt personality and a bunch of other things. Anyways she reads my schedule and somehow memorizes my shift times and talks to her other personality and other people about it and it really creeps me out. So I asked her social worker to have her stop and she said that I'm just gonna have to deal with it. I haven't gone any farther than asking but oh boy do I want to. I am nice to Bertha she isn't being weird on purpose obviously so I don't wan't to be mean about it. The social worker though I think she should've done something about it. I kind of feel guilty though because obviously she isint "normal". Any thoughts? Sorry for formatting I'm a mobile scrub TL;DR I ask a social worker to have there person stop talking about my shift times and she says no deal with it. And I want to do more but I want to know if what I did was an asshole thing to do

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e6kzF337SV8zPo1dkqZeSTc9y6p4MzRd

b6ssrv

WIBTA if I asked my step grand fathers blessing for my mom to meet her bio dad

4 years ago when I was 21, I tracked my dad down after he left before I was born. He was sorry, we bonded we have a great relationship. Now go to my mom. Because the relationship with my dad and I went so well, I asked my moms permission to find her dad because she had never met him She said yes, I could look for him if I knew the name, but she doubted her abusive mother would give us the full name after all these years. Much to our surprised my grand mother gave me first name last and city. It was a city in Greece. It was difficult to find at first because he's an older guy and his language uses different characters. That night I ended up finding someone with a similar last name from the same city. I reached out to her that night. I sent her some info who I was and who I was looking for. A week later she told me that she was related to who I was looking for. Although she hasn't seen him in 20 years, she could help. She lived in a city a few hours away. But was returning to city for the first time in a few years. 2.5 weeks into the process I found my grand father(updating my mom every step). Video chatted. got my mom video chatting shortly after. He had a picture of my mom as a kid framed in his house, he never had another family. My abusive grand mother was psycho, a year after my mom was born my grand mother left from Greece and went to the United States. My grand father was looking for them and following for some time. Eventually couldn't keep up. When my grand father would some how find a phone number and call. My grand mother would answer and tell my grand father that my mom didn't want to talk to him(she never knew). The last time he looked for my mom was like 2 or 3 years ago My mom doesn't know how to feel with it. My grand father is old and sick and I know if she doesn't go to Greece to see him, she will regret it. She doesn't know how a 47yo woman needs a relationship with a 70yo man. I keep telling her she doesn't have time but she doesnt think shes ready, I found him 5 months ago. Besides saying she doesn't know how she'd feel. She feels she's betraying her step father, who although wasn't much better than her mom, but was still her dad. I've got my step grand fathers phone number and I want to call him and ask him if he would feel betrayed. Would I be an asshole to ask him that and possibly take away one of the obstacles my mom keeps trying to put up? Tldr: found my long lost grand father, mom gave me permission to find him, but now she doesn't want to meet him. Thinks shes betraying her step father, I want to ask him directly what he thinks.

HYPOTHETICAL

NOBODY

RIGHT

hbxqfwVgAhxUTY11ppOSGEUx3mH3f27Q

ax1lf1

AITA for not feeling sad that my grandfather is dying?

Just writing the title made me feel awful. Basically, my grandfather is once again in the hospital but now it's really bad. He's most likely going to die soon. I have a few fond memories of him and of course I want him to live, but here's the thing. I haven't talked to him or my grandmother since I was 10. That was 15 years ago. My dad, my sister and I don't have any kind of relationship with them. Even when we were on speaking terms with them, our relationship was... complicated. ​ My grandmother is probably the worst human being I had the misfortune to ever met. To give you guys an example, one time several people from her street gathered signatures to make her leave the neighborhood. That's how bad she was with people, and that was with strangers. With us it was even worse. The four of us had to live with my grandparents when I was little and it was awful. My grandmother hated my mother and the fact that I was born before my parents got married, so she did everything she could to terrorize the both of us. She would go to my room at night and tell me the devil was going to take me away in my sleep. She would hide the kitchen supplies so my mom wouldn't be able to cook. There's more, but that's stuff for another subreddit. When my dad discovered all of this, he took us away and cut ties with them. My grandfather didn't do anything, but that's exactly the problem. He didn't do anything. As I said, I have a couple of happy memories of him, but that's what I remember the most. ​ My mom tried to keep the contact but by then I was old enough to decide so I told her I didn't want to see them anymore. They never made any effort to fix the relationship, so that was the end of it. Until now. ​ People have always asked me how I would feel when they die and I never had an answer, simply because I don't have any feelings towards them. As harsh as it sounds, for me they just don't exist. Now that is happening, I feel the same way. Only sad that my dad is going through this, sad that he's feeling so conflicted about his own father's death. Maybe I'm in denial and the grieve will strike later. I want to return to my hometown to be there for my dad, but I don't want to go to the funeral and I don't want to see my grandmother ever again. ​ My boyfriend told me that maybe I'll regret not seeing my grandfather before he dies. That maybe there's something I want to say to him, even if it's just goodbye. I know he's not judging me and understands where I'm coming from. But I can't help to feel ashamed of myself for feeling this way. To be honest, I feel like a monster. ​ I don't have anything to say to him now. I've said goodbye to both of them long ago and as long as I know, neither of them have asked for my sister and I to be there. Am I the asshole for not going now? Am I the asshole for feeling so indifferent about his death? Am I the asshole for not wanting to make the effort to be there for them?

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WIPixaTieIV4DM7E0zICO3cvFmBLw7iq

b37jqh

AITA for badgering?

I had to shorten this to not exceed the limit: i had debate with poeple about school reform, poeple didn't like it The confrontation: so, as it went about I continued to have conversations with poeple into the next period and eventually some poeple supported what I was saying. someone had brought back up the issue later in Spanish class and I decided to voice my opinion. then, Margret decided to hop in and say, dude this idea is dumb would u just stop arguing about it. I heard this before but what shocked bc she would typically be the one to agree with me, and she had not been around at all earlier that day. she was calling my idea dumb before she even heard it. this upset me but before I could address it the bell rang. I couldn't pay attention in class because I was thinking of what to say when it was over to see where her negative veiw is comming from. eventually we talked and she said she heard a brief moment of what I was saying and what other poeple had told her. so I asked her if she wanted to actually hear me out and she said she would rather not. I thought, okay, not everyone wants to argue over an issue. it might of been wrong for her to call it dumb without hearing it out but whatever what happend happend. I didn't think anything of it until latter I heard from my friends that she was ranting on and on about how I was preaching that kids shouldn't have to come to school and other stuff I, a) didn't say, or, b) was takin completely out of context. this really pissed me off as she was PREACHING it to other poeple, yet she didn't even hear the other side. when I confronted her about it agian later on, she said she didn't want to talk about it. I thought, well, wow, u still don't even want to listen to the other side before u form your opinion and start swaying other peoples opinions. here's the controversial part: I started badgering her. I kept saying that it was not okay to give your rebuttle on somthing you hadn't even listend too. poeple started siding with her and told me i should stop talking to her bc she doesn't want to start anything, but I continued to make claims about how she wouldn't like it if i took stuff she said out of context on an issue she felt passionate about and used it against her. she just kept saying "I'm tired of this conversation" and "I'm sorry but I don't listen to stupidity". at this point it was me against the class. I kept bringing up the fact that she used false info against an issue I felt passionate about but everyone else kept saying stuff like," dude she doesn't want to have this conversation, leave her alone" am I the asshole, i felt as if I'm right but then again everyone else thinks I'm wrong

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4iKK8J4tePENPL5jpnMuDEKrNwMpU925

ay3gs7

AITA for making up excuses to avoid babysitting my nephews?

So my sister has two sons under 10 who I love with all my heart and love hanging out with. However, I feel at times that whatever opportunity my sister finds me without plans, she asks me to babysit them for her (she's a single mum so doesn't get a lot of time to herself). I do of course babysit most of the time but there are many occasions that I pretend to make plans or passively show her she's asking me too much. Most conversations go like this: Her: "So what are your work shifts like this week?" Me: "I'm off Tuesday and Wednesday." Her: "That's cool. Would you be able to babysit on Tuesday evening?" I feel like there is no longer any genuine interest in my life and these questions are more to know when she can have some free time for herself. When this happens, I feel much more resentment towards babysitting and end up making excuses. I understand it's difficult to work and have kids by yourself- no denying that. I just don't like the feeling of basically being a nanny rather than a sister. I do kind of feel like an asshole but I always try and justify my actions so I need an objective opinion.

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trCLOIrMCCkEXRIEWBwGdw4Ru9022UPs

azb7za

AITA this girl got my friend suspended and i don't want to be friends with her.

This is my very first post on reddit so sorry if I don't really know how anything. So the momo thing recently got popular again and everyone at my school talks about it. (not inculding me) and this one girl (ill call her... 'sasha') wanted to see momo and sasha asked one of my really close friends about it; my friend decided to pull out her phone and show her momo. then began crying that it was 'so scary' and was being really over dramatic about the whole thing. later that day my friend got an in school suspension about that. Now for my part of the story. the day my friend was suspended sasha came by the lockers my friends and i were at. (we have all of our locker next to each other) and starting talking to us. I sternly told her "You got my friend suspended, I don't want to be your friend." then proceded to move **behind me** and continue talking. I said in my most stern voice possible (not yelling. this will be important later) "You heard me, Go." she walked away, and my friend told me that she was crying, i thought nothing of it and went to class. (we are in different classes) my friend who is in that class passed me a note and told me that she was saying between sobs "the girl with green hair **YELLED** at me." sorry for how long this is, and it really doesn't have an ending. ill update this if there is any updates. bye\~

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cZxkf0drRuUfmVRghXi1hHPjoN7IrMGQ

ae5h0s

AITA for waking up a fuckbuddy who had said he wanted to meet up

So I'd met up with this guy once before, it had gone pretty great and we both expressed that we would like to meet again, and soon as he's only in town for the week. Today around 6pm he messages me telling me he'll hit me up later, I don't hear from him for a few hours until 11:30pm when he texts me, I ask him when he'll be free, and he answers that he's in bed, which I interpret as him telling me to come over. I text back that I'm on my way if he's cool with it and don't get a response. I make the 30 minute walk to his place, at this point it's 12:30. We both have plans early in the morning that we've communicated, but I figured it would be worth it. I get to his room's window (the place I last met him at) and he's asleep, lights are on and he's holding his phone. At this point I face a massive dilemma, either turn back or try to wake him up. I think about it, text a friend, friend says that I've come too far to turn around, and I figure that if I fell asleep after making a plan I'd feel bad for just wasting someone's time. So I knock. He doesn't wake up, knock a few more times and I'm about to give up and go home when he wakes up. He looks around, opens the blinds more glares at me, shakes his head then closes the blinds and turns the lights off. I take this as my cue to go home, having wasted an hour of my time and feeling like an asshole. He also then blocks me on the app where we met, and I assume also blocks my number, but I haven't tried to hit him up since. So, AITA?

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uHacj4lAsqGEgrtzb0IPvVzqMvL3tdeV

ak6uev

AITA for doing a burnout for a kid?

Contexts in first paragraph for my car, story 2nd paragraph. I drive a 07 vw rabbit, has a eurojet full stainless exhaust (header back), a true cold air intake (with heat shield), and have had it tuned on a dyno. And lowered on some raceland coilovers. Respectable 200hp.. not a overly fast car. But loud and fun on backroads. Anyways, I went to the mall today to get a hair cut and as I was looking for a parking spot I see this kid, probably like 7 or 8 and he is looking at my car as I'm driving by (it's been snowing lately where I live so traction has been a problem) I'm doing my best to not get stuck on level ground but the lot hasn't been plowed and its deep for my lowered car. So I'm slipping and trying to manage whatever traction I have. back to this kid, he waves at me! And he had a FXR jacket on so I'm thinking "cool kid like cars and stuff" so I drop the clutch and rip forwards a bit, I know fwd shouldn't do burnout and we cant drift but a roudy inline 5 sounds good.. the kid is jumping up and down and visibly pleased with what I have done so all good right?? WRONG!!!! this woman who i can only assume to be his mother comes running and starts yelling at me that I should have my license taken away and I could have killed someone or wreaked a car.... Posting here because she actually called me an asshole... just curious if she was right or not. Judge away redditors

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TXoGMqV3pyaWuKWEs2p1llZfvScLbxOP

arpcr6

WIBTA - Married friend begging me to get her pregnant.

And I'd love to. But it wouldn't be fair/honest to her husband. And I'd love to -- not because my dick's on fire, but because I love her as a friend too much. I don't have any feelings with her at all, neither does she. But we have been through everything and I almost see us as siblings. We both deeply care for each other as well, and that's why I want her to be happy. So, the shortest backstory : I am 23, she is 26 and her husband is 28. She really has these deep motherly instincts and desperately wants to have kids. And they tried a lot, but aren't getting lucky at all. Turns out the guy has really low sperm count. Now, this has been going on since a year, right after they got married. And she used to update me about everything as well. It was this Friday that she really had this talk with me and presented it like this "once in a lifetime favor for which I will be really grateful". She has explicitly mentioned that my "good physique and awesome grades" would mean a healthy offspring. To which I suggested sperm donation, which she countered with religious reasons and she wants it to be *"natural".* Adoption is off the table btw. I have basically presented with every other alternative, but she is hell bent on "getting my genes for her baby by having multiple long planned sex sessions on 3rd March (most fertile day as per her menstrual cycle)" Her husband is a good friend of mine and I'd rather keep him in the loop about this, but let's be honest, he'd divorce her if he knew that she even entertained this idea. And she loves him a lot as a person (girl married the goddamn guy). In that particular moment, because she is a friend of mine, I consoled her and said yes. But in a few days, after I prepare how I am gonna say it, I'd reason with her and tell her "no" even if it ruins our friendship. Now, to be a good judge in this case, it is crucial to heavily weigh in the deep frienship we both have. Because my morality can even go out of the window for her, because she'd take a bullet for me and vice versa. Hell, she pulled me up from a miserable hell and encouraged me to pursue a life worth cherishing. We have a bond greater than the one Shaggy and Scooby had. Like some deep stuff right there. And on the other side of scale, all that I'm putting on as a weight is our friendship. She is the best person I know with an absolute golden heart. And we love each other dearly as friends/siblings/whatever. Maybe she is too afraid to be childless. Yes, she has other options, but it seems she is missing that feeling of love making which leads a woman to end up as a mother. I can affirm that being a mother is something she holds pretty dearly. So, would I be an asshole to tell no to her? I know your usual instincts might say "no" and label her as something, but she is a REALLY GOOD FRIEND, and I'd do anything for her to be happy. I can't emphasize on it enough. And she shared those things with me because she considers me as her bestestest friend as well. Alright, hit me! WIBTA

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CPJnBKgnuwLyGIo4XbJ3scjWBFw6ga6h

b0qqn7

AITA for walking off the job/stealing from a possibly fake charity?

In highschool they made us do 30 hours of mandatory volunteer work. I finally found some work with this supposed charity, where I would sit in front of grocery stores selling overpriced chocolate bars to raise funds for kids in Africa. The weird part is the guy organizing this would drive us everywhere and let us keep a portion of the donation money. I was supposed to stay wherever I was dropped off for 3 hours until he picked me up. I was out there outside the grocery store selling the shit out of these bars, I was a champ. Eventually some lady comes up and asks for the charity number, which was required to do any sort of fundraising in my country (Canada). Didn't have one and she couldn't find any evidence of the charity existing online or in the government database. Accused me of scamming. Connected the dots and figured that was probably the case, so I just took the soonest bus home with all the chocolate and money. Eventually the guy organizing the charity comes to my house and gives me shit. I hand him the chocolate and money. He shoots me about $20 in change and says I'm lucky he won't report me to the police for stealing.

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t0cvOD0Np4EqOtNKAaa6besTF5B53jLr

a4hoci

aita for my mate getting mad at his sister and me for wanting to be on the same benefit as me.

so my roommate is on the job seekers benefit because of some shit that happened and that's all good. but after he realized I get more money being on the disability benefit due to me having severe anxiety,ptsd and dispraxia. (I'm unable to work because of these issues) he wants to get on the benefit I'm on. he does not have diagnosed anxiety or ptsd or dispraxia or anything that would make him eligible to get the benefit. (he wants it because of more money) so he spoke to his sister about getting it for his depression she said no and told him off telling him he should get a job. (he got super mad and told her to fuck off) he then came to me and I told him he would not be able to get the benefit because he does not have anything wrong with him that would make him eligible to get it. and if he wanted more money he could get a job or somthing. he got mad telling me he did not want to work and he needs this benefit because he has depression (you cant get on the benefit just for depression) and refused to speek to me and his sister for a few days. aita?

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3TKN29ABnicO8nBuH8NgPMrzSc1IIhEV

b7u762

WIBTA if I found a new group of friends?

Like the title says, WIBTA if I removed myself from my current "friend" group. I have been friends with a group of people since the beginning of college (as of last August) and recently have been itching to find new friends. My only concern is that I have become pretty close to a few of the people and would feel incredibly guilty for potentially doing this, but the feelings of annoyance and reluctance to hang out have been overpowering recently. It's hard to explain but we just aren't clicking right and I have kind of dug myself into a hole by faking my feelings the past month or so. The reason I am having a hard time is because one person in particular really became attached to me, which is fine, but this person does not have a lot of other friends and I would feel like a jerk if I ended up removing myself. This person has a lot going on in their personal life and I feel bad but im just not sure how much longer I can bring myself to "fake" being friendly when I can't help but get annoyed whenever I am around them. Has anyone else experience anything like this or am I being an asshole?

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C0GiRbrGBYKJVFAg4gfSls6Xdksukcey

aguuvj

AITA for pissing off my depressed friend?

I'll just call him Lee. We're both 14M. Lee is one of my smarter and more helpful classmates. He, however, seemingly has self-diagnosed depression. He has an extremely controlling mother at home, who gives him extremely high expectations and no rewards when he actually reaches them. And not just that, our form teacher is a pretty unreasonable person, she's screamed at our class, including the two of us a good number of times. He hates her, and I wouldn't say I'm fond of her either. So he's pretty sad about it. He's attempted to avoid thinking about it by sharing jokes and memes, as well as having the two of us roast each other, but today was different. During class, he made a mistake answering one of our teacher's questions. It was an answer the teacher just explained about earlier, so I told him, "That's what you get for not listening in class!" He screamed "SHUT UP! " at me. The whole class went silent. They all heard it. I went over to him after class. I gave him an apology, but he ignored me. This went on for a while, until I got irritated and told him that by ignoring me he was only pushing his friends away. I told him he was only pushing away the very people trying to help him by ignoring me. He told me that "sorry" wasn't what he wanted from me at the moment. Then here comes the assholeness. I started half-assing my apologies, saying "sorry lah! ". I would say this was because that was his usual form of apology, whether to me, or to friends, or to his own family members. I was mad, so I asked him when was the last time he sincerely apologized to me, the last time he cared for me. He told me he doesn't care about people who don't care about him, something I would say I don't agree with. I had stayed back in class to ask him about his condition, and comforted him before. Now I tried to apologize to him in the most sincere way possible. He only replied that "sometimes, a hurt person doesn't want to hear the word 'sorry '. I grabbed his bag as he was walking out the classroom, shouting that I couldn't end it here because he might kill himself on his way out. I was genuinely worried for him. But he told me to "fuck off". Now I'm unsure of what to do. Am I the asshole here? And how do I help him?

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AEmBR51Ht5ZnVy2Ucaz0HyWwaSIPgKVw

abxwo0

WIBTA for telling my neighbors to STFU about a parking gripe

Hi all, I'd like to know if WIBTA if I leave the note below in my neighbors letterbox. ​ I went by my mom's place yesterday to help out with some stuff, and I about hit the roof when I saw that my grandma's truck had been cited. I've written the letter as my mom and was planning on sending it to her for approval before I do anything. ​ For context, the truck is a small pickup. My mom lives on a quiet suburban street with plenty of parking and a nature area that runs behind the houses on one side of the street. We parked the truck 3 houses down from her front door on the side of the street where there are no houses, just the nature area. There are houses on the opposite side of the street, but there was space for probably 12 more cars where my grandma was parked. ​ ​ **\*\*NOTE\*\*** > > >Dear Neighbor, > >We recently received a citation from the city on one of our vehicles parked on this street. We had another vehicle parked directly in front of our house for over 72 hours, so we can only assume that one of our neighbors called the city specifically about our truck. > >We’d like to respectfully request that you refrain from doing this in the future. This truck has not been abandoned or left for free parking by someone outside the neighborhood; it belongs to my elderly mother who has recently had to move into our house. (You may have noticed the handicapped plates when you were calling the city) She’s currently recovering from a hip replacement surgery and isn’t able to drive, but she’d like to keep her truck for when she is feeling better. We chose to park it down on this end of the street in hope that it’s presence wouldn’t bother anyone. I wrongly assumed that if it wasn’t parked directly in front of anyone’s house and blocking parking for the houses on the street, it wouldn’t be a problem. > >We have lived her for nearly 20 years, and are well aware that people often leave their trailers and RVs in this spot, which I’m sure is a nuisance. I apologize for any inconvenience my mother’s truck may have caused. However, it is within 200 feet of our front door, so moving it is not a problem if it is in your way. With your permission, we would like to continue to park the truck here without needing to move it every 72 hours. > >If you have any questions about this or would like to discuss further please give me a call at (XXX)XXX-XXXX or drop by the house. > >Courteously, > >Your neighbors at XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXX ​

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qyk9iME6AyRHnXU9G5nbhyTY0kg35UTD

aicm5p

AITA For wanting to remain neutral in a disagreement between my friend and my family?

Both me, my best friend (grew up together, worked together when we were starting up, went through a lot of shit together) and my uncle are department heads at a business. I am the newest department head out of the three of us, my uncle in ancient and my best friend is sort of an older brother type. I've been in my position for two years. My best friend has been there for six, and my uncle for twelve. Well, my best friend and my uncle HATE each other for a variety of reasons. They are constantly butting heads. My uncle owns part of a trucking company, my best friend harasses the drivers. My best friend has a property appraiser, my uncle harasses him. Stuff like that. Recently the actual boss of the company has made it clear hes on the way out, and each want the head position and each want my support. My best friend is more productive than my uncle, but my uncle has seniority. Things are escalating, one of my uncles employees had an accident on the job and my uncle blames my best friend for whatever reason. I told them that both me and my department want nothing to do with it, and to work it out among themselves, so now both hate me and think im betraying them while favoring the other. My uncle also thinks that as a department head i should have to make a definitive stance. AITA.

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9RDrHlcljzhi1WMHb5Gng7xSsIhbWVeb

axrjcv

AITA for lying to my best friends, after promising to tell the truth?

Side note before reading: I am pretty good at pretending (I'm in the theatre club at my old school) and have some decent manipulating skills, which I usually don't use for anything bad. Backstory: Over a year ago I became really depressed. However I continued to pretend I was okay and for quite some time no one, except one friend (lets call him Tim) noticed. At the time, I wasn't close to him, which soon changed, because he started helping me and we tried talking to my parents about it (My parents are lovely people, who provide really well for me, but they are incredibly busy with work and our bond isn't that strong). Eventually, after having a breakdown, I started seeing a therapist. During that time, I learned a lot about showing others how I feel and started telling my best friends about my depression, though I never told them exactly what's going on. I didn't talk to anyone about my feelings except Tim, so everyone else just knew I was depressiv, but they didn't know anything else. When I tried to talk to my best friends about it, they usually ignored me or didn't take my problems with family etc serious, probably because they just didn't know any better (they were 16 at the time). Nonetheless, I was fairly honest about how I felt. Now: I came out as trans a few months ago and it went really well. I told everyone how great I am doing. However for some weeks I've been feeling incredibly depressiv. I kinda told Tim, but I made it seem a lot less serious than it is. I am pretending as if I am perfectly fine and usually it's not an issue, since my friends are busy with school and work, so I don't get asked, how I'm doing that much. Also I apologized to my best friends for lying and promised I'd change and tell the truth from now on. Now one of my best friends texted me about her crush and stuff like that and I told her how I was suprised, she'd still trust me after how much I lied to her. She said, she had forgiven me and gives me a chance and how she's proud, that I'm trying so hard to change. But I haven't changed a bit. I'm still lying and I can't change. They had to go through so much, because of me. I was a real asshole while I was depressiv and they always Tim always had to care for me, I just really don't want to become this asshole again, I want to protect them from my depression, but now I feel shitty for lying and feel like an asshole anyway and since they don't ask about it, I feel like they don't really want to know. Do you think I am doing the wrong thing? Or are my friends and family in the wrong for not caring a lot?

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b5xo3s

WIBTA if I ditch one friend to see Avengers Endgame with another??

Sorry for the lengthy post but some backstory is required.. I’m 32 years old and Friend #1 and I have been best friends since 8th grade. Over the years we’ve had ups and downs but we consider ourselves brothers at this point. While I’ve had a moderately successful adulthood, he’s been a mess. Discharged from the military, had issues with his baby mama and other exes, and has been in and out of court for custody battles and minor drug issues (weed. No big deal since it’s legal in his home state, but he was caught with it in a state where it’s illegal). He’s burned a lot of bridges with the friends that I have made as an adult, so not many of my adult friends like being around him anymore. He’s also very hot headed and tends to be kind of jealous of the friends I’ve made in my later years. To top it all off, he’s had a rough patch lately, so much so that during a alcohol induced meltdown he threatened to take his life a few weeks back. He’s getting some help and is doing a lot better, but after years of his life being a mess I’m starting to feel drained having to always be his emotional support. He lives in a different state, but we made plans for him to drive out to see me so that we could watch Avengers Endgame together. Friend #2 and I met about 7 years ago and I consider him one of my best friends today. We have a lot in common, he’s very successful, and overall he has his life together. Before he moved out of state for a promotion we made it a habit to watch every Marvel movie in theaters together. Our very first being Avengers. I was lucky enough to go on a business trip to his city last year when Infinity War was released, so that helped keep the tradition alive. I wasn’t in a position to fly out on my own dime to see him for Endgame this year, so I was accepting of the fact that we wouldn’t be able to watch Endgame together. Hence the plans I made with Friend #1 from above. Being as successful as he is, Friend #2 offered to pay for my airfare to fly to his city so we could finish the tradition by watching Endgame together. So now I’m in a pickle.. No matter what I choose I feel like either way I’m letting someone down. WIBTA if I ditch my best friend and go watch Avengers Endgame with my close friend instead??

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arMaX9H8tk2Vw6xcwCdMkQX5yn0LIH9U

b9t78a

WIBTA if I didn't go to class today?

This is more of a "would we be the assholes?" situation, since it involves all of my classmates. Thanks in advance and also sorry for my English. Yesterday (Thursday) our professor said that today (friday) he wouldn't be able to come to class and naturally we were all excited because we really dislike him and being with him for three hours is a nightmare, anyway, naturally we respectively all planned something for our Friday evening. Literally 20 minutes ago he send some lectures for that stated that they were for today's class and we were like "the fruck". He didn't let us know of this change either so pretty much everyone is pissed and nobody really wants to go. Would we be the assholes if we didn't go to his class? I mean, the guys a pain in the ass, as a person and also as a teacher so we're kinda risking something. :/ Thanks

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UHxqVI2A8MyLekogx4XWyUTsBQaNzc1d

avw4m5

AITA for having instulted one of my dearest friend?

This morning, we went to university together with some other acquaintances as well. The bus was already there so we had to run to get it in time. I am obese and this morning I had a little pain to my knee so I was running weirdly. Then, my friend started making fun of my weight and the way I was running. He was doing it in front of the two acquaintances I don't know well. I felt humiliated and belittled so I have responded with two punchlines regarding his failures and made fun of his lack of intelligence because he always fails the exams. (I said intelligence but i know that he just doesn't study hard enough. He is intelligent enough to succeed the exams.) It seems that he didn't took it well because he didn't answered back. A few hours later, I have send a message to ask him for forgiveness but he hasn't answered yet. Am I the asshole here? I sincerely didn't took it well when he was making fun of my body in front of two "strangers"...

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rQWO3JpffC2ysTqRO1BBub06ruRohVFR

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AITA for not realizing the type of friendship someone expected and causing them to develop severe anxiety?

TL;DR: Can’t really fully tell the situation without this long post, but basically because of the ways our personalities are, I did not put as much effort as my friend did. Some of my bad social habits were amplified for my friend as we are together 24/7 as college roommates and this combination caused them to eventually develop actual severe anxiety and painful panic/anxiety attacks. I don’t know if anybody is at fault, and just feel like an ignorant piece of shit in general. Just want to clarify beforehand that I don’t think anybody in this situation is an actual “asshole”, but that I just don’t know if I should be feeling as guilty as I do and just need some advice. If this situation fits better in some other subreddit or community please let me know. Story starts two semesters ago. My friend (lets call them Sam) and I both went to the same school together and mainly knew each from other high school before going to university. We were probably one of each other’s closest friends. We both had applied to transfer to the same university in the Spring 2018 semester. We both got in and decided to room together We knew about people who roomed with close friends from before and how it led to drama and broken friendships. We thought we were close enough to the point where we could talk about anything, and the alternative of having to room with someone completely random was worse (for me especially, at least, because I’m a bit of a germaphobe and kinda felt like I needed to be with someone tidy). In the Spring 2018 semester, we became good friends with few other people. Since we were in the same friend group, we saw each other almost 24/7. However, between end of Spring 2018 and early Fall 2018, we started noticing issues. To help preface this, I’ll quickly tell a bit about myself in high school. Early high school I didn’t like life and, even though I didn’t have any severe anxiety or anything of the sort, I still was always anxious and very low self-confidence. Later on I started hanging out with different people who made me a lot less nervous about being social. I became much more confident in myself, but I also lost some self-awareness. Even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I grew a small tendency to circlejerk around past events, inside jokes, and memes with people even when in the big group, which understandably can be awkward for those who do not know about it and could cause FOMO. It wasn’t a very significant issue at the time though, because we would only really see friends at school and had a lot of time outside of school with family and other friends to clear our minds. Even though I am somewhat outgoing now, I still need a lot of alone time to be happy. Sam, however, is pretty different in that they are a very high-energy person and put a lot of effort in their friendships. In the big picture sense, my idea of a close friendship is a lot different than Sam’s, and even though we both love each other equally, Sam naturally put in a lot more effort and attention that I did, and I was not able to reciprocate. This caused Sam to, over time and understandably, feel hurt and feelings of “why do I even try” because they would notice things about the energy I put in, big and small. This, combined with the FOMO and feeling of being left out from my circlejerk-y and sometimes inconsiderate tendencies made their mental state very bad. Sam talked to me about it. We eventually decided it was best if we stay really close and help each other through this, and that I work on my bad social habits and be more considerate. I am getting better with the habits, but the anxiety is now physically hurting Sam as they have actually somewhat severe panic/anxiety attacks sometimes. The attacks happen fewer and farther in between now, but I am scared that the anxiety will never leave Sam, and that it developed into something that will stay with them forever. I am helping them a lot as we figure it out, being cautious when I’m with Sam in social situations so as to not trigger bad memories from before and helping them calm down during an attack. We are totally on good terms and are working hard as two good friends to get through this, but the fact still remains that seeing me in social situations and small things I do trigger their anxiety. I did not expect to get into the type of close relationship that Sam expected early in college and I was just being the close friend in the way that I knew, but at same time so were they. Even though I was unaware of my bad social habits, I feel like they were never extremely severe, but the combination of the habits with being 24/7 with Sam, the energy/effort difference between us, and general stress from leaving home to college made it a lot worse from Sam’s perspective. I don’t know what to do, and I feel like I fucked over my friend’s completely happy and confident mental state because of my ignorance. I am starting to feel like how I felt beginning of high school, and dread social situations because I don’t want to hurt anyone or myself anymore. I know we are on good terms and will eventually find some kind of balance and work things out together, but I still feel like I caused this and don’t what to feel about myself, Sam, or anything for that matter.

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aokhzf

AITA for snapping at a photographers assistant?

Over the holidays last year I spent time with my husbands family. My MIL didnt attend the wedding so she wanted photos of my husband and I in our wedding clothes. Fair enough, we agreed. The only day before the photographer left for the holidays was the day our plane landed, and I was fairly grumpy. Long flight, no sleep, and I was 9 weeks pregnant at the time so I was just sick and cramping. The photographer and his assistant knew all of this. I was bloated, and my wedding dress didnt fit me properly, so it was unzipped in the back and I had a wrap on to hide that fact so I was feeling pretty shitty about myself. After couples photos, the photographer wanted individual shots of my husband and I. I get into a pretty generic photo pose, and smiled. They ask me to move my arm a certain way, tilt my head, whatever. I guess I wasnt doing it right, because the assistant came around and started grabbing my arms, tilting my head, kind of shifting me around for the position. I'm really irritated at this point, and I huff while shes positioning me around. Then she says "Come on, dont you want to look thin and pretty?." Which set me off. I dont like being touched by strangers, I dont like taking photos, and I've always been self concious about my weight and pregnancy wasnt helping that, on top of a long flight and no sleep, so I snapped. I told her "I don't need to look thin and fucking pretty. I'm not a fucking barbie doll, so keep your hands off me. I'm fucking done with this bullshit." and I stormed upstairs to the guest room (we were at my MIL's house) I was crying, my husband talked to his mom for a second then came upstairs to comfort me. I changed into comfy clothes that actually fit and after a little while I went back downstairs and apologised. We finished taking photos with everyone in comfortable clothing instead of their Sunday best, and no individual shots of me. The assistant was a bit colder towards me than she had been earlier, but she was still polite. I still feel like a huge dick about the fit I threw. So, I come to you and await your judgement. Was I the asshole?

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AITA for not doing what ny parents asked right away?

so this is the story, my mother asked me to buy some fruit for her to dinner and I told her okay I just need to take a shower and I'm gonna go to the market get some, and then she said you are gonna shower just to go to the market? and I said yeah i am kinda sweaty and I don't wanna go there and be smelling bad in front of people, Wich in my point of view sounds really reasonable , she then started screaming saying you must go now cause I told you so, not later now,when father or mother ask you something you don't wait untill later you do it now then I said I'm just gonna take a shower tho, then she screamed to my father and told him I was refusing to do her orders and then I said to him I'm just gonna take a shower first and then go I have no fault she asked me to go to the market at 8, then he started screaming really hard that I had no respect for anything that I didn't respect hierarchy and so on, then after he stopped screaming she just said nevermind I don't want anything from you ever more you don't respect me or yourself, and then I asked what's wrong? I just wanna take a shower then I will get you your stuff and she said get out I don't want to talk to u anymore, then I went to talk to my father and asked what was wrong he acted the same way and both went to their room and refused to talk to me... wtf just happened am I being super disrespectfull or something? cause I don't get it, also sorry for the editing I'm on mobile and short on time

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AITA for not thinking about a laid-off photographer when I took a photo assignment?

I work at a newspaper, and like all newspapers, layoffs are happening. I'm new-ish, only working there for a few months. Recently, layoffs hit most of the visual content makers, and they let go of our head photographer, who I will call Rick. I didn't know Rick well, but we were cordial and he was nice to me. When he was laid off I was sad. ​ A little over a week after the layoffs, a reporter asked me if I was willing to take pictures (since we no longer had a photographer) at this lodge she was doing a story at. She said I didn't have to, she could just take them on her phone if needed, but she knew I was into photography. I figured this would be a good way to expand my skillset for when I inevitably would be laid off too, as well as a chance to make a move to some dayside jobs ( I currently work till midnight to move the next day's paper, so I never get to see my friends) so I took it. The boss seemed to really like my photography, and we Instagramed out one of the pics. That was yesterday. ​ Tonight, Rick texted me, telling me I "wasn't helping anything" by taking that picture, and that I was "just filling in holes with pictures readers have already seen," and that he was sure he had already taken pictures of that place previously that I should have used instead. He obviously saw the Insta post and was upset. ​ Am I the asshole? Should I have considered how he would feel seeing someone else taking a picture a week after he was laid off? Truth be told, I do want to get more into the photography side of the business, and this did seem like an opening to that. I figured, since the photos would be taken whether I went or not, no harm no foull, and this would be a convenient way to transfer into a better shift. But clearly it hurt him, and I wonder if I should have taken this guy more into account. I honestly didn't think he'd give two shits who is taking photos at a paper that laid him off, but I concede if that was an asshole move on my part. What do you think?

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AITA for making a Facebook post congratulating Chicago on their new mayor?

So I made a Facebook post about Chicago’s new Mayor, Lori Loghtfoot. I thought the status was pretty agreeable and harmless, and some guy who I had a class with about 4 years ago, and haven’t talked to since, commented a bunch of stuff on it that I thought was rude. Instead of trying to explain, I figure I’ll just paste the conversation below, word for word. I’ll call him Bill, obviously not his real name. To add some context, I’m a white male, he is a male POC. My status: Gay, black, woman mayor. Way to go, Chicago! Bill’s comment: You should really look into Lightfoot more... just saying Me: I don’t know why you’re assuming that I haven’t looked into her, but all I’m saying is that I’m proud of Chicago for electing a gay woman of color. Bill: As a QPOC i can bluntly say that Lightfoot is not present for LGBTQ+ people and I am disappointed in Chicago for not seeing that she had a lot of problematic and non poignant things to say at the AAMF I attended. Me: I’m sure that’s true. I’m not even saying I voted for her. Just remarking on the fact that Chicago is willing to elect such a person, which is not something the city has done before. Bill: more like Chicago is willing to look past that and use Lightfoot’s identity as a mask to advance the true agenda #NoCopAcademy Me: Again, not trying to say she’s perfect, merely remarking on the fact that we’ve never had a gay, black, woman mayor. I don’t know why you feel the need to start an argument about that. There’s no one here to argue with. Bill: Not starting a fight, but I guess whenever a person of color starts to voice their opinion its considered fighting words. I don’t have to explain why im angry and disappointed. I just chose to voice my disdain for this status. Do with it what you will. And that was it, word for word, down to the punctuation. I didn’t respond after that. I can honestly say I tried very hard to be respectful and not argue, but he seems to think I’m missing something, and it’s been bothering me all day. I just wanted to congratulate Chicago on what I thought was a step forward, and now I feel like I’m being attacked by a person who is part of the very communities I was trying to ally with. He would probably tell you I’m a straight white male, and I don’t understand, which could be true, but I’d really like to understand. Am I the asshole?

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slGiKOghS4m3YHUoetVXPVIizQboluFo

acmsmh

AITA for telling one of my friends some of their flaws so that they can become a better person?

This friend was very clingy (I’m a boy she’s a girl), and always wanted to talk to me. My call log shows that over 4 days she called 12 times, which is annoying. She also bought me over fifty dollars worth of gifts this Christmas, which I know isn’t that weird but we’ve only been friends for like barely a month. And I liked the gifts, don’t get me wrong, but in my mind that just seemed like way too much to get a new friend. Apparently she has a record of doing this stuff to people and one of my other friends dropped her for the same reasons, but she didn’t learn from that which is the most annoying part to me. It’s ok that she wants to stick with her own personality but I would think if she wants to keep friends or get new ones she might need to know some of her problems and learn from them. She had dropped me as a friend like 4 times which really also got on my nerves so I just let her know that. So she kept on arguing with me and denying hat she did this stuff and trying to defend it but she’s trying to make me feel guilty when I was just letting her know this stuff creeps people out, so that she could possibly learn from her experiences. So am I the asshole here?

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afbyov

AITA for being upset my ex didnt want me again?

So long story, and sorry if my grammer or punctuation is messed up my keyboard sucks on my phone. Anyway i (16m) dated a girl (15) (we will call "K" for the sake of the story) for about 2 and a half months And i was already in love so much she was amazing And for those reading you should know im a introvert and i have a very hard time making friends and especially ones i can talk to about anything or have some kind of connection with Let alone a girlfriend, a lot of problems i have making friends comes from stuff that happened in previous friendships and relationships) Anyways everything was all good we was both really happy and talked all the time Then one morning i messaged her and never got a answer, figured she was busy so i waited, and waited and waited, Eventually two days later i figured she was done talking to me and moved on to someone better or something Well time goes by couple years later (im now 18, her 17) we end up talking again and get together and the same thing happens I have had relationships end this way so many times just end up being ignored and never hearing from them Well couple more really rough years went by im 21 now but thus happened around 10 months ago while i was 20 "K" ended up messaging me on Facebook with long appologetic message saying how she felt horrible and shes changed and wanted to apologize to those she wronged And mentioned how she had a boyfriend and being happy just made her feel bad for those she hurt Being that i had a bad year and a really bad day I told her i forgive her but i cant talk to her cause i was tired of trying to have friends or even just talking to people and keeping in touch It was hard at the time talking to anyone and still is But i felt so horrible for months cause i hate sounding or being mean honestly So i end up messaging her about 3 or 4 months ago and apologizing about it and we get talking And we connect so well again talking about everything within a few days she starts calling me and we talk nomstop for hours on the phone She texted me all day everyday for about a month and i was falling for her once again The first time in the past couple years i had a friend i connected with and felt like i wasnt alone for once we talked and talked over the time that went by she was flirty and i didnt start till she did cause i didnt want to assume she was wanting to get back But things kept going and i eventually confess how i feel thinking and hoping she felt the same and i waited for a reply for hours and when it finally came My heart sunk seeing the first part "your such a wonderful guy and i love that your in my life everyday but.." and so on and told me how she was still with her boyfriend I accepted her answer and said okay and moved on, or so i showes on the outside on the inside i was upset so bad i mean why would she flirt with me and talk to me almost 24/7 and never mention her boyfriend until i confessed how i felt? It felt like i got led on honestly.. Well a day or two later she called me at midnight crying confessing how her boyfriend treats her and (i wont go in to too much detail cause the story is already long) but she lives with him and his mom and she told me about how they emotionally abuse her daily Some of the things she said they said was just fucked up in my opinion And she was asking for advice And it may seem like i could be biased here but i swear when she called me crying i didnt think about how i liked her or anything that would be biased And i told her how it was not a healthy relationship and i thought she should move back in with her parents cause it could only get worse But i had a hard time thinking of what to say best i could do was sit there and talk till she calmed down because i was trying my best not to sound biased. Well after that we kept talking as friends but slowly declined and now she doesnt message me at all or nothing i dont bug her or want to Anyway thanks for those who stayed till the end And what do you think am i a asshole here?

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a35k2q

AITA for thinking of ending relationship due to lack of sex

Both in early twenties, been dating for about 1.5 years, went from having sex once or twice a week to only once a week if I practically beg and act nearly obsequious ... I am male, she is two years younger than me. If I could somehow save our sex life I really think she could be the one. She gets mad when I ask for sex now if we have “already done that this week,” #feelsbadman

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yub8kNgEPBV04AtpxvkMMwC9D58bmERo

b5d665

AITA for ending the friendship because she loved me?

Warning bad english :/ My best friend (S) made a skype group with around 7-8 people. She invited me too. Everyone you need to know are S, L ( S best friend too) and A ( we never liked each other). S got closer to L and we all wanted to meet up. So he drove to her and I decided since S knows L longer not to be as clichy and only come by for a day and drive home the next day. The moment I came by S was acting strange. Only on her phone, not talking etc. I admit L was really obviously interested in me. But I swear I tried to get her into this conversation, but she refused. She had a little breakdown, we told her that we werent purposly trying to 3rd wheel her and we were fine. L drove home and it was quiet. Up until I met L again. What about S? We planned to tell it kind of casually, but oh god. She shouted at me that I didn't told her asap ( it was LITERALLY the day L got his traintickets). But oh well, I apologized.This weekend L and I got together. Shortly after she told me that SHE loved ME. I felt bad for her and yes I kinda understoot why she was so sad the day we met and was so mad when I told her that I was going to meet L again. Nobody knew about my relationship with L. There war this party and I decided to take L with me. I told S beforehand that L will be attending this party, and she was mad again. Partyday! Short: She was really heartbroken but we all apologized and it was fine again. THEN A found out about what has happened though S. And started harrassing me whatever I did. She wrote in the groupchat things like "Do you know the feeling when you're so mad at a friends friend that you wanna just hit them?" Obviously talking about me. I was hurt. So I begged S to not talk to her about me since she's so agrassive. She agreed. Our friendship went downhill fast. We were fighting ALL the time. One day S was like "Omg guys I love you all" and me being a mad girl on her FUCKING period answered with the ironic "Oh sure you do" and things started to get out of hand since A, S and another girl were attacking me really bad and I left the group. I was just tired. She sweared that after I left she tried to calm the other two agressive girls down and that she really didn't knew what she was doing. WELL shocker ,L had acces to all the conversations AFTER I left. He send me screeshots. The only thing she FUCKING did was a little "stooop itt" after I left. I ended the friendship. She sent me a last SMS where she said that she is the victim since I broke her heart and I as her best friend didn't told her about my relationship and that she things I'm rediculous for ending the friendship because of A. The next two months she wasn't going to school. And if the was there she always left before we had a sharing class. And tbh since she were never a good student I think she won't pass this year and I feel shitty because it's my fault. Am I the asshole here for leaving her espescially after she told me her feelings towards me?

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ai7ryt

AITA for cutting ties with my ex-best-friend after they ditched me for somebody who used to bully me?

(Long story I’m sorry) So, way back like 10 years ago, I had this friend (let’s name her Amber) who, unbeknownst to me was a back-stabbing rumour-making bitch. She had made up countless rumours about me, including saying that I drank water from the toilet and that I was homeless. She basically made my life hell and is part of the reason I have anxiety. Now, fast forward a few years to when I met this new person (let’s call them Eli) who seemed very nice, we had a lot in common, and we became friends. Everything was going smoothly for about 3 years, until I found out that Amber was going to be transferred to Eli’s class. Now the thing is, Eli didn’t really know the extent of which amber bullied me, she only really knew that I didn’t like her because she was an asshole to me. Anyways, I decided to warn Eli about Amber, telling them that Amber was bad news and to stay away, only to be met with Eli saying, “Oh, she’s actually really nice, I’m sure it’s a different Amber.” So, I let it go, and lo and behold, just a few weeks later, Eli came to me saying that Amber back-stabbed her. Although I wanted to tell her that I told her so, I was a good friend and comforted her and let her rant about how much she hated Amber. After that mishap, Eli and I’s friendship was going great, we heard nothing from Amber, and I actually thought that Amber was done fucking my life up. BUT BOY WAS I WRONG! Fast forwarding about 10 months later I found out that Eli was starting to talk to Amber, re-kindling their past friendship, and I was not happy to say the least. I decided to talk to Eli and remind her of what Amber had done, only for her to say, “People change, she’s a lot nicer now” And that was the sentence that started the rapid fall of our friendship. Eli has decided that Amber was now the superior friend, and I was nothing. This continued for a few months, our friendship still deteriorating, until I had enough. I texted Eli asking her what happened between us, hoping to start a CIVIL conversation between the two of us, hoping that I would get my best friend back. Spoiler-alert: that didn’t happen. What, instead, happened was a 500 word text message talking about how I was too controlling and I couldn’t choose who she was friends with and that her bad mental-health state was all my fault and that I just made it worse. At this point, I was feeling really bad and her indirect (but kinda obviously directed at me) Snapchat rants and Instagram posts was too much. I blocked her on everything, I deleted pictures of us, I deleted her number, I deleted every trace of our friendship. I thought that was the end, until Eli MAKES a twitter account only to message me and tell me that I’m an asshole for blocking her and how I’m a horrible person. So now I’m kinda thinking... AM I the asshole here?

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AITA for being mad at my parents for not taking me to the doctors.

So a while back I was talking to my parents about going to the doctors and being diagnosed with some stuff, and how I think I might have OCD and want to go get checked out. I then asked if they noticed anything about me as a kid and they shrugged their shoulders. I then asked if they got me tested for anything as a child and they said no, I asked why is that and their response was you didn't want to go, and we didn't want to make you. I asked what age that was and they said 6/7 years I was slightly annoyed at my parents for this as it's kinda a dumb reason to not take your kid to the doctors. I only brought this up with my parents because a few years ago I started noticing that I did things different to other people and I think I have OCD and some other things I would rather not mention. I'm just annoyed that my parents didn't take me to doctors to get me tested for things because I threw tantrums. I feel that the things I have to live with could have been fixed as a child and might not be ruining my life now. should I talk to them about it again? AITA?

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V2HFW4JfQ6fAFu4KreiwqMLuopOXFPkm

b7fcog

AITA for arguing with my best friend so much?

It all started when I gave her the password to my second Minecraft account. I showed her my favorite server and the game I always played and she became obsessed, and I mean literally obsessed. Every time she sleeps over my house or I go to hers, she wants to play Minecraft with me. Every day after school she wants to play Minecraft with me. All weekend she wants to play Minecraft with me. I’m busy very often, and often it’s something I didn’t know about until I get home from school, so sometimes I tell her no, I can’t play even though earlier in the day I told her I could. She then starts arguing with me about how I was lying and how I didn’t truly want to play with her and she accuses me of other things that aren’t even related to the argument. I’ve been playing with her so much recently that I’ve been getting bored of it. Even when we do play, she argues with me about something. It’s gotten to the point where I pretend to be busy so I don’t have to text her or interact with her outside of school. Even in school she starts arguments with me over and over again. She accuses me of acting like I’m perfect and always having to be the one that’s correct, even though all the time when I’m wrong I say something like “oops I’m wrong haha” or “oops that was a mistake sorry.” She also hates my other best friend, so she makes tons of passive aggressive comments about when I hang out with that other best friend. It drives me crazy, and even though we were such great best friends before this all started, I’m starting to wonder if we aren’t meant to be friends. AITA for not wanting to be her friend anymore just because of all the arguing that surrounds Minecraft?

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b286lq

AITA for wanting my bf to fight his mom?

Bit of a backstory, my boyfriend and I began dating three years ago and I met his family and everything was fine. Thing is, his family appeared to be really nice to me but then I found out they talked behind by back and insinuated that because I'm a good match (I'm in law school at 21) [Their opinion, not mine] he shouldn't ever let me go but they still constantly berate me. His father and stepmother constantly scrutinize what I wear, the price of what I wear, etc so I mainly don't meet with his family often, at all really. I just feel uncomfortable being around them because of this but my boyfriend supports me, he's great. Point of the story is, his mother is the same. One time we were having dinner at my MIL house and I asked my boyfriend for some coke (not in a bad way at all, I speak very lovingly to my boyfriend always, he's wonderful). I wasn't comfortable walking up to the fridge and getting anything. A week later my boyfriend and his mother went to brunch and she explained to him how she thinks our relationship is one sided and gave the example that I asked him for coke as if "I were a princess" and I didn't get it myself. This other time all three of us went on vacation and I took two bags, my boyfriend took one. Walking towards the hotel room, my boyfriend grabbed one of my bags so I wouldn't have to carry two. When I went to the bathroom to change to a bathing suit, I literally heard his mother whispering "See, this is why I say your relationship is one sided, why couldn't she carry both her bags? She expects you to do everything for her." and my boyfriend asking her to "Just, stop." Fast forward to today, my boyfriend and his mother were (yet again) having brunch. A package we were expecting arrived, so I texted him about it then told him a couple of other things about the day. Just telling him my mother wouldn't be in town, etc. His mother then got angry and asked to collect the check because he's "with me everyday, you need to cut off on your obsession to her". Now, I need to emphasize that we texted for 6 texts total. Nothing drastic, and it was just a specific moment. I had just woken up so I hadn't spoken to him. My boyfriend got so angry he texted me about it, and I got angry back because I'm just tired of the "one-sided" drama. I texted my boyfriend back that if he didn't "fight" with her about this I didn't want to see him today because he isn't standing up for me and our relationship. My boyfriend and I get along wonderfully, we have a very healthy relationship (thank god) and we're always down to do whatever for each other. We're together every single day, for the most part of the day and his mother basically never sees us. So I don't get why she presses on this so much. And it bothers me that my boyfriend doesn't put much of a stop to it, he just stays quiet then comes to me and whines about it. AITA here?

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cl7FrK629rJl5PDOwT1zbSslmAFuy46S

a8g442

AITA for not wanting to take my mum for a driving lesson

I’ve recently gotten a new car that my mum has taken a liking to because now she doesn’t have to bus so much or walk to places because I can drop her off sometimes or take her to where she needs to be as she’s never learnt how to drive let alone been in the drivers seat before. Oftentimes than not I’m quite tired to drive as I have two jobs and get the life taken out of me so I can’t drive her all the time and I always say to her “I wish you knew how to drive” and I feel bad because I don’t want to be the one to teach her because I don’t feel she will ever be able to drive. So many times I’ve had to show her just how to change a channel on the TV and use a remote because she didn’t know what buttons to press despite being labeled, she once brought a printer and didn’t even know how to turn it on, even with the instructions in front of her, her texts are ALWAYS indecipherable because they’re so poorly typed out, she hides thing so she doesn’t lose them and ends up forgetting and freaking out, there’s nothing mentally wrong with her she’s just always been a bit clueless and it just weirds me out because they could be such simple tasks. Anyway, I just don’t feel like she’s got the cognitive abilities to use a vehicle because I’d worry for her safety and others and I feel like it’s almost too much for her to even wrap her head around, AITA?

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BfkZCsXpY3itfTjiFzglPMJEwipEfgEm

b7u7ls

AITA for not wanting to mow the lawn in my backyard

My wife and I bought our house about 5 years ago and during that time I have always cut the front and backyard. My dad owned a landscaping business when I was younger so I've always enjoyed mowing the lawn and taking care of the outside. About a year ago my MIL had to sell her house and move in with us. She helps out with bills (which have gone up due to a new person living in the house) and watches our 1 yr old during the day when we work. She is extremely image oriented, so if the lawn got a little higher than nessecary she would be on my case. I work 2 jobs and have a 1 year old, so typically I cut the lawn once every week and a half, or every 2 weeks. This isn't often enough. So without consulting me she hired a landscaper to cut ONLY the front lawn. Cutting the entire lawn takes about an hour and a half, (with a non commerical mower) with the front only taking about 15 mins. The backyard is mostly on and incline and is about 2x the size of the front, which is flat. Now my problem isn't that shes paying for the landscaper, my problem is that he is charging her 50 per cut once a week for the front and will do the back for an extra 10, but she refuses to have him cut the back, because it isn't as important and doesn't want the landscaper possibly stepping in dog poop. When I brought up how stupid this is I called ungrateful by my MIL, and my wife just says to ignore her and just do the back. I now only mow the back about once a month. I haven't been able to get a hold of the landscaper to just pay him the extra to do the back as they always come during the day when I'm working. So am I the asshole?

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FfxwpyVjOJ3lzQ6dLpn4goigYtHW5TVh

b9s3bm

AITA for refusing to split the bill to repair my downstairs neighbor's ceiling, because my girlfriend didn't clean leftover water after defrosting our freezer?

A few months ago my girlfriend (20F) decided to defrost our freezer, while I (20M) was in another part of the country with friends. We had a pretty terrible freezer at the time, which needed defrosting rather often. My girlfriend calls me up late one evening telling me, that our downstairs neighbor came up knocking and saying that their ceiling was all wet and that we've ruined some ceiling posters or something. Puzzled by this my girlfriend lets them into our kitchen, which is where our freezer is and to her shock (and I guess to their delight) there's a bit of leftover water on the floor and I guess this solidified their assumption that my girlfriend is at fault for this. They leave really angry but say nothing. We've never had trouble with our downstairs neighbors before, mainly because we hadn't really interacted with them at all. I come home immediately and we talk about it. I ask her what happened and whether or not she left water on the floor, she denies and we agree that our freezer probably left out water by itself because of the defrosting process. I agree to purchase a new freezer for us, seeing it caused this minor headache and generally didn't work properly.  Fast-forward to now, they're suing us if we don't comply to cover the expenses to fix their ceiling. It's not that much, however, we're both studying and don't have that much money. I've had a gap year and worked my ass off, so I have a lot more money than my girlfriend, but I intend to use this money to study abroad and my girlfriends family is loaded - they also bought this apartment for her. She wants me to pay half of the expenses and I've declined to do so, as I was not home, did not defrost the freezer and the fact that I paid for our new freezer. This has sparked a large debate between us - mainly because she believes I should pay, because I'm financially stable, so my question is: Am I the asshole for refusing to pay for this?  ​ TL;DR: My girlfriend left some water on the floor, it most likely caused damage to our downstairs neighbor while I was on vacation. Am I the asshole for refusing to split the bill to fix their ceiling?

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VZs7s5kM5MTfoTMkCkQECK0fO1eLHW9T

an2wmf

AITA for wanting my coworkers to be fired and replaced?

I work in a very small team at my company. So small that having one person call out is detrimental to us, having two people gone is basically a death sentence. One of my coworkers has been gone for close to five weeks now due to someone in their family having being hospitalized, so we've been short one person for that long now. He's still employed with us, even though he has done absolutely zero work and nobody really knows what's going on with him. I understand having a family member in the hospital, but being gone for nearly five weeks is what seems really off about this. My other coworker has called out sick multiple times the past few weeks, or has sometimes run very late (nearly 2 hours late) recently without letting anybody know, basically leaving me as the only one here and making me wonder multiple times if he was even going to come in or not. But I don't know if bringing this up to my boss would make me an a-hole. But at this point, having one person just being completely gone and the other being unreliable, it's completely stressing me out because I have to now pick up the work of, at the minimum, one other person, however often times two other people. AITA?

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aldjICflnUwO0ghM0Dao76FczdLzBSLB

aic301

AITA for telling my mom not to share my academic achievements with her gossipy friends?

I'm a recently graduated college student and am taking two gap years to work at a hospital before applying to medical school. My mom and I have a great relationship, but lately she's been hanging out with these friends who have kids younger than me, who are pre-med and applying to colleges soon. These pre-med Nazi helicopter moms use her to finagle information about my GPA, MCAT score, awards, scholarships, research and other academic achievements. ​ Some context: When I was in 6th grade, my mom and I were at her friend's house, and I complained about my mom taking so long to take me home. One of her friend's son heard that, and told his mom, who proceeded to tell my mom's entire friend group that I was calling my mom "stupid and unintelligent", which is NOT true. My mom didn't go to college in order to raise me, and has always been a bit insecure about this, making the gossiping even more cruel. The gossiping was so bad that my mom had to cut off all ties with her friends and now its really hard for her to make new ones. ​ Recently some of these women have started asking my mom about college advice, since I got into a relatively good school and have some accomplishments that might seem impressive to some. My mom is nice so she tells them, but I hate that she does that. Those women hurt her, and she's still being nice to them and helpful, and they never even say thanks. What's worse is that they make my mom feel bad about not knowing more about my academic achievements, and manipulate her into telling them. They pressure her and don't listen when she speaks, and because she doesn't have too many friends, she goes along with it. They are all also college educated and work full-time so she respects them a lot, even if they have shitty personalities. ​ Am I the asshole for not wanting my mom to talk to them about me and refusing to tell my mom more about my academic life? That's kind of what these women do, one of them is a college counselor and so the whole friend group revolves about talking about that. I told my mom to talk about colleges and med school in general, but that my academics are personal and private. Is it wrong to want her to keep that info private, when I know she wants to make friends?

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be3oCRNutjfGccp3gCbFKq8Hr11r5WsG

apj19n

AITA for being pissed off at my wife for being suspicious of me, and accusing me of lying?

So one of my best friends and I have been discussing getting together for dinner. We were texting back and forth about finding a good BBQ spot in our area and threw out Friday as a potential date. Like any thoughtful husband and father of two little kids, I asked my wife if Friday was okay with her for me to be out. Now for some background: a couple years ago, I was struggling with a drug addiction. This was something I came clean to her about, as I really wanted to be open and honest about. I needed help, and her support. However, since then, I know she doesn't trust me 100%. Coming clean to her this time around was the 2nd time my addiction was an issue. The first time, a couple years prior to that, she caught me discussing buying drugs by snooping through my phone. She had thought I was cheating, but I was just an addict. Apparently I was not ready to quit when she caught me. However, when I came clean to her on my own, I was ready, but she was crushed. She threatened to leave me, and she's been suspicious of me ever since. I have been really good lately regarding my health. I stopped drinking, I've been watching my weight and am making positive changes. When I asked her about going out for BBQ with my buddy, out of nowhere, she said, "What are you up to? Are you going on a drug run?! I think you are lying!" She was straight-up accusing me of lying to her about a simple dinner out with my friend, suggesting I was making it up so I can go buy drugs somewhere. My reaction was: WTF?! I was and am so pissed off at her. I can't even look her in the eye, and I don't even want to talk to her. I am hurt. She apologized, but I am so over not being trusted. To this day, I absolutely regret ever being honest with her. I should have kept my mouth shut and fixed my drug problem without her. She doesn't trust me. I came to her about my addiction two years ago, and she it still holding it against me. I am so sick of it. Her distrust actually makes me want to not tell her anything. I am disgusted with her. AITA for being so pissed off?

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6acJzxdGdDk536B4ELt7ZLKyfyd2pER0

b6xqhz

AITA for ditching a friend at a networking event?

I'm currently running for a local office. This is my first time, so I don't have any name recognition or big money. So, I'm getting out to as many events as I can, trying to build that reputation and meet as many people as possible. Last night, I was at an event, trying to network. I was very much doing hit-and-run conversations where I would say hello to someone, ask how they are, talk a bit about my campaign (and theirs, if they're a candidate), and then excuse myself to talk to someone else. At one point, a friend of mine cornered me. I've known this woman for many years, and have nothing but nice things to say about her. Normally, I wouldn't mind talking to her at all. However, this time, she wanted to get deep into a discussion about zoning along bus lines. Every time I tried to end the conversation, she would continue talking as if I hadn't. At one point, she was actually holding my jacket sleeve to prevent me from walking away. All in all, we wound up talking for about twenty minutes of a two-hour event. Finally, I was able to wave another friend over and pull a, "Have you met *person?*" and then somewhat gracefully excuse myself. This morning, my friend who had been bending my ear sent me a text message tell me that it was rude of me to "hand [her] off" and "ditch" her last night. I feel like it was rude of *her* to monopolize my time at en event where networking and socializing is expected. But, I'd appreciate some outside perspective.

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17VsUjGjnTP8c6ApCycevGsfb2XaHcSb

b9ef78

AITA for wanting to see my SO old texts

On Valentine’s Day, my GF and I had a great dinner after I got out of work. There she told me how she was gaming with a guy that she had sexual relations with before who also ghosted her after their short NSA relationship. She said how he was doing a livestream, how they played a good game of Overwatch, and how she bugged out on him for ghosting her on his stream after the game for all of his audience to hear. She claimed to deleting him off her PS4 friends after the confrontation. At the time I thought, “whatever, that’s funny” and never thought twice about it. Recently, I opened a message on her PS4 that was way too friendly of a conversation with the guy that ghosted her dating back to VDay. The dynamic of the convo didn’t match the same energy of the story that she told me on VDay. The last message was from my GF reading “text me I don’t have your number.” Also, I remembered she was playing Apex Legends with the same gamertag as this guy the night before I read the message. She didn’t actually delete him. That same day I saw on her phone that she was also messaging different guy that she also had a NSA relationship with that same day on IG, and then switched over to a text conversation. I feel that speaking to someone on IG about art is one thing, but switching over to text means there’s something else there. When I confronted her about the 1st situation, she thought she deleted him off PS4, had no idea what his gamertag was, and that the game of Apex she was playing was with another friend. When I confronted her about the 2nd situation the same day, she said they were just talking about art and understands why I would have the suspicions that I do. She’s very understanding to my feelings and clearly states “I understand why you would feel all of this, all of your feelings are valid” But right when I asked to see her messages, she says that I am being problematic. In this confrontation, I mentioned how she has her text notification previews off and her main argument for it was “I don’t want people on the subway reading my messages” which I don’t believe is valid because 1) there’s no cellular service on the subway and 2) once anybody gets a text message, they open it up anyway. After all is said and done, she turns her phone to me and asks “is this better?” showing me her turning on her iMessage previews. It’s two weeks after this confrontation, and I notice that her previews are off again. She’s the type to bring her phone everywhere she goes as short of a distance to grab a cup of water from the kitchen or go to the bathroom. She can go as far as having sex with these guys and I wouldn’t care because I don’t believe in monogamy. I believe that everyone can do whatever they want to their body. Once those who are in relationship aren’t on the same page mentally, there’s no point into being in said relationship.

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OTHER

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MQNxMAJgZBDEQLX89xwzcgeyyoPbsaXq

b2cyl5

WIBTA if I went ahead and accepted a summer contract based on funding with the intention of leaving if something better comes up?

The title might be a bit misleading, but I am currently in a bind. I work for my university in a different city from my hometown. Throughout the school year, I am worked essentially as an administrative assistant for the faculty and relatively have had a good experience. The staff are friendly, accommodating, and generally very lenient with my hours/schedule/independence. Basically, it is a university student's dream job - however, the work is incredibly boring and I am only working 10 hours max a week. They have invited me to extend my contract into the summer with full time hours, meaning I wouldn't go home and would have to stay and pay rent. This is one setback I am greatly factoring in to my decision. With my hours extended, I worry that I will have even more spare time and drive myself crazy at the lack of work expected of me increasing my hours from 10 to 40 a week. I have never had a job with such little to do that it honestly drives me insane and I dread going to work. I regularly email staff asking if they need help with anything and make a conscious effort to look for work to do. Surprisingly yes, sitting on my laptop for most of the day completing the odd data entry task gets boring fast - another factor. I have applied to numerous government jobs and others related directly to what I am studying in school and field of interest. I have yet to hear back from any (I applied to over 65 jobs), but feel confident I will hear back closer to the end of the school year from some. ​ The other day at work when my supervisor asked me if I would like to extend my contract, I asked to have until the end of March to decide, hoping I would get some good news from other places by then and letting her know I was still unsure if I would be able to afford paying rent for the summer. Unfortunately, she told me due to funding, she needed an answer immediately. Now knowing this position is based on funding, I am worried I will burn this bridge with the school if I hopefully receive an offer from a different place and accept it. Already I feel like an asshole, but considering I would be a lot better off financially moving home for the summer as well as working a job more related to my future career path, WIBTA for conditionally accepting an extension of my contract as a backup but knowing I will drop it if something better comes up? ​

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1O301Jgz3TQtlVUbNth5mbqO4PJ0Gt7b

agyfbu

AITA for acting on behalf of a nightmare where my husband cheated on me?

So I have very vivid dreams, and last night was about him cheating on me. I woke up and understood it was a dream and started to get ready for work. I sat down and looked at his computer and had a gut feeling to check his messages. Tried to ignore it, but I ended up checking. I found a discord history between him and a female that i didnt recognize. All of his messages were deleted but hers were still there. She "idolizes" him and at one point acknowledges him deleting messages, but her response is: "I get it, I used to not care about cheating when I was 15 but now I'm against it". Something about it was odd to me, because she followed it with being overly cheery that hes talking to her. I ended up messaging her saying that I was uncomfortable with the dialogue seen, reminded her that my husband is married with a child, and that if they weren't doing business (pertaining to his job) then she should fuck off. I feel like the gut feeling was on point, but I know me going into his messages will be a problem and lead to an argument.

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S91NFvxLh8gx7jP79RrXRNaPX1XteAaY

a5ey9v

AITA for wanting my friend to be more considerate of my PMS?

About two months ago I got the implant birth control for my best friend then boyfriend. We ended up breaking up but remained close friends. Now I've always been your stereotypical PMS bitch but the hormonal implant made that get cranked up from a four to an eleven. Rather than just having a few days a month of pure ultra sensitive insanity, I was having on and off again day or two long months of being just ultra sensitive on top of mood swings and extreme cravings that I couldn't fight that BF would chastise me for. I would feel extreme guilt over the binge eating which made me extremely depressed almost to the point of being suicidal. I recognize that I get mad over little things and blow up over something that is nothing but it's extremely difficult for me to control hormonal emotional issues like these unless someone is literally telling me "hey you're PMSing you should take a breather". Normally not that big of a deal when it's one or two days out of a month but now it was happening two to three days at a time every week and a half. I'm not justifying my extremely bad outbursts. They're extremely bad and I recognize this. I've been getting better about it since my body has been adjusting to the hormonal birth control. It's been trying to get back into therapy, too, to help manage my emotions and be more understanding of others. This particular issue, though. My bestfriend decided that he had finally had enough. He drank a soda I wanted to try with him, without me and for some reason this was The Worst Thing He Could Do and I completely had a meltdown over this and blew up at him. I've told him I can be very irrational when I'm PMSing. I felt it coming on and tried to be rational. I told him once that I was upset with him. He ignored it. Told him a second time. He ignored it again. Now I'm fully enraged and going on about how he's selfish and doesn't care about me. I later apologized for once I calmed down and realized how ridiculous I was being. By that point he had blocked me on snapchat, Instagram, discord, steam, and Skype. He texted me saying that he didn't hate me but the blow ups get old and he was sick of the immaturity and that he was trying to get rid of toxic people in his life and that I needed to go and I needed to grow and mature and be happy without him. He then blocked my number and completely cut off contact. He did it all through text and wouldn't talk to me on the phone about it. It hurts to lose a bestfriend of well over a year like this... ...Am I the asshole here? TL;DR: Birth control made me a massive 24/7 PMSing bitch and my bestfriend told me they couldn't be friends with me anymore because of it and then blocked me on all socials.

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NDHprWfYBpJLrkDcVt5TbCroLf4H8rwv

a24qzd

AITA for wanting to release the family “pet”?

A few weeks ago, the family helper (or rather my in-law’s helper), let’s call her Martha, brought home a bird that she found while heading home from going to the shops. I was not at home when this happened, however, my husband texted me what Martha did. Having said that, her first language isn’t English so I decided to come home quickly and figure out what happened and why they have decided to keep the bird in a small cage. Martha explained to me that while she was walking home from the shops, she found the bird chirping and playing on the grass. She thought that it looked cute, so she crouched on the floor and called for it to come to her (while waving some bread around) - the bird came to her and she picked it up and held it in her hand to brought it back home. Now, I’m all for saving animals who are injured or lost - you know, ensure that it’s returned to it’s natural habitat or owner at the end of the day. But I feel like this is just outright kidnapping. I tried to explain to my husband that, what she did was kidnapping and that we need to let it go. He insisted that it’s someone’s pet and that we need to find out who the owner is to return it. Okay, but how?! You’re locking the bird up and the bird looks absolutely fine. It’s fat and plump and it’s spreading its wings and biting the cage that you put it in. Husband does not believe that it’s a wild bird. Now, since this is my in-law’s house, I don’t have much say in it. His parents thinks that it’s cute and if it’s a wild animal, the bird wouldn’t come to Martha at all. I mostly ignored the fact that the bird was living in the house for a long time. I’ve tried so many times to explain to everyone that the bird looks sad and skinny now. No one believes me and thinks that I am just upset because it doesn’t like me (the bird was out of it’s cage one day as Martha was playing with it and it flew at me and bit me). Would I be the asshole if I let it go? I believe that Martha kidnapped the bird. If it’s someone’s pet, then it must be missing it’s owner and it’s real home. It’s not fair to it’s owner. If it’s a wild animal, then fuck that. I don’t believe in caving up a wild animal at all. It needs to be in it’s natural habitat.

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uYuxMutwBeJxNGVKLA3HwIJk2x54ORY9

ao5evx

AITA: Talking politics with a bumble match

Not sure if this belongs here or in /r/dating_advice, but I just got done with an interaction on bumble where the woman I was chatting with was pretty adamant that it is never appropriate to talk politics on a dating site, or on a first date. I think that for me, politics is something that should be talked about up front – I have no interest in dating people with certain political positions. I told her I respected her position as it relates to her, but she just kept saying that politics just shouldn't be discussed, ever. What sparked it off was that we were discussing two cities with the same name, one in my state, one in Virginia. I commented, "Virginia is a lot different from \[my state\], more blackface scandals." I thought it was funny. I hadn't noticed that she went to University of Virginia. Now, I get that maybe I was an asshole for making an insensitive comment about her state (though I still think it was funny), but I still think you should be allowed to talk politics if it's important to you.

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0X3MMHmFfT0wfXAXKUIDX00xa9byzFvB

aw85y9

AITA if I don’t want to be friends with someone because of the way they acted when I told them I want them to move out of my place?

I (23 F) own a condo that I currently rent as I have moved in with my boyfriend somewhere else. In May of 2018, I had a friend/old coworker (40 F) who was down on her luck and needed a place to live. So she signed a 6 month lease because she said it was temporary. Everything has been fine and she had been a good tenant. It started coming to the 6 month mark when my HOA sent out an email asking for a copy of everyone’s leases. As I am a new landlord, I didn’t realize that when a lease expires, it turns into a month-to-month situation so I stupidly made her a new 6 month lease (ending May 2019) to get all the paperwork in order to send to them and she signed it. My mom is a realtor and has a really good eye at finding investment properties. She makes about $10k a month on Airbnbs. I’m really interested in getting an investment property that I can Airbnb in as well so I can hopefully start making money like her. A property came up that she wanted to go in on with me but we needed to sell my condo first so I’d have the funds. To be considerate, I decided to call and tell my friend that we were considering selling the condo and I wanted to give her a heads up so she wouldn’t be surprised.That way she could decide if she wanted to move somewhere else or have new landlords that she wouldn’t know. I told her that since living there was temporary that maybe she could please think about moving out in the next month or two because it would make it easier for me to sell. She flipped out and hung up on me. I was really surprised that she acted this way considering she is twice my age. I sent her a really nice text telling her I’d help her look for a new place to live and I was sorry that she was put in this situation. She left me on read. I called her the next day and she was really cold and responding in hostile one word responses. She even hung up after saying “well I guess I’ll have to since I’ll be homeless soon!” This was really surprising as I have been friends with her for 3 years and have never seen her act like this. The investment property with my Mom didn’t work out but I still wanted to sell so I sent her a nice text telling her she could stay until her lease is up in May. After ignoring me for 3 days, she calls me and acts like everything is fine admitting that she needed time to think about the situation. But by this point, I realized that those were her true colors and it made me not want to be friends with her anymore because of the way she acted. I really want nothing to do with her anymore but I have to be nice until she leaves my place. So AITA for not wanting to be friends with her and for asking her to move out? I thought I handled it really nicely but maybe not? TLDR: I asked my friend/tenant to move out before her lease so I could sell and she reacted badly making me not want to be friends with her anymore.

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1Hy33bBTRByv0p3cAnJEYA3de7xJe0Vt

aqc22k

AITA for not wanting to invite extended family to my college graduation?

I'm currently in my fourth year of college and getting ready to graduate. My dad wants to invite his entire family to my graduation despite my wishes and has already invited my grandmother without telling me. He says that it's a family tradition to invite everyone in the family to graduations, that's true. Our family was invited to the graduations of all of my cousins on his side of the family. He says that he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not inviting them. However, I feel really strongly about not inviting them. If it was up to me, nobody in my family would come, but I've already agreed to let my parents and brother attend. In my defense, I have a couple of pretty big reasons for not wanting to make my graduation into a big thing. For one, my extended family and I are not close at all. Many of the people my dad is insisting on inviting I've seen fewer than a dozen times in my life, since they all live on the other side of the country. Even my grandma, who lives only a few hours away, I see <1 time a year for a day or two. And importantly, I'm fine with not seeing my family. Not only are we not close, but there are many of them I don't particularly like. They are almost all extremely religious, whereas I am an atheist. In addition, several of them, my grandma in particular are hyper critical of everything. I feel like any time spent with them is just listening to them complain about things and half their compliments are passive-aggressive. It's genuinely exhausting. This brings me to the second reason I don't want them to attend. I go to a very small, nontraditional, liberal arts college. A very large portion of our student body is visibly gay or gender non-conforming and we have a nontraditional graduation ceremony. It's held outside in 80° to 90° heat and the students are invited to wear whatever they like. Often they'll wear costumes, jeans, or even swimsuits and body paint. I'm afraid that my family will not approve and may even express their disapproval out loud during the ceremony. I really don't want to do this and I feel like a day that is supposed to be about celebrating my achievements is going to end up being about entertaining a bunch of people I barely know. However, my father doesn't want to alienate his family and I don't want to alienate him, especially since he has provided financial support I needed to even get my degree. So, AITA? TLDR; my father is guilting me into inviting people to my graduation who I'm afraid will just complain the whole time

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3KrGGRZoKedogZZbwpSi0MhA3Ktr9HVL

aqmevh

AITA for not wanting to participate in my parent's religious practices?

Recently, I was diagnosed with both depression and insomnia. I have always known I had depression, but up until this past semester I kind of ignored it and worked past it. However after getting into the college of my dreams, my grades suffered significantly and I realized I needed to address the issue before it caused more damage. I have taken a semester off, and my parents were kind enough to let me live at home (I am 19). I already feel like an asshole for living at home, so I am doing my best to be as less of a burden as possible (paying for groceries, cooking about 1/3 of the meals, doing the dishes, laundry etc.). I am not, however, paying rent which makes me feel incredibly guilty. My parents are immigrants and are incredibly religious, and spend most of their free time engaged in religious activity (they also don't really believe in depression as it isn't recognized in their home country so they assume I am something that loosely translates to "cursed by spirits"). They have always worked very hard to provide my sister and I, but their core belief is that religion is what keeps the family stable. They are constantly having me join them and it's starting to take up a significant part of my day (1-2 hrs a day). In addition they want me to come to the temple with them every Sunday, which takes up almost 6 hours and prevents me from getting ready for the work week in a timely fashion. Between working a full time job, spending 4-6 hours on studying or working on my own company and doing basic chores a few hours a day, it's really starting to burden me. ​ I know they'll be crushed if I tell them I am not religious, but I am spending far too much time on something that I actively don't care about (and is causing some existential distress if I am being honest). I want my parents to be happy, and I don't want to be an asshole by living on their gratitude and disrespecting them, but I am unsure how I can keep up faking my religiousness. ​ TL;DR: I am not religious, but my parents want me to participate in lengthy religious activities. I am living off of them, so I am unsure if I am an asshole for not respecting their wishes.

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1eDCsQwBc4wh3pAQkueYnoDhqzhc22uL

avvxxb

AITA for yelling at my sister for eating my food

i’m fuming right now so sorry if this doesn’t make sense so i live with my dad right now and i’ll be moving out in a couple weeks. i work full time and my little sister comes to my dads after school and gets picked up around 5 by my mom. i’m not home from work until after she gets home. she’s a freshman in highschool and she’s irritating and sassy so whenever she does something i get sassy right back at her. i buy my own food since my dad always complains about having to buy me food and that i eat food that he buys specifically for her (even though he never tells me before that it’s for her). i get home from work yesterday to find that she ate like half of the food i bought myself...i yelled at her and my dad starts with “oh it was me i ate it” even though i know he didn’t because she already said he told her she could eat it. basically my dads saying i have no right to yell at her and i have no right to say she can’t eat my food because he used to buy me food all the time. i did blow up on her pretty hard though like i almost made her cry.

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OTHER

RIGHT

MsxMg8eUAk7L2DuE1AT4IlwMzXZ90rUP

amjxh1

AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend for dismissing my insecurities?

So a bit of background info. My girlfriend has been divorced for 6 months. She recently had a conversation with her ex husband about her dildo that she’s had for years and used with him. A weird conversation about how “he knows how much it means to her” and her admitting it “means the world to her. 😉” we talked about it and she admitted she needs to shut him down instead of keeping on with that kind of thing. Fast forward to today, a couple of days later, and she tells me very vaguely that he brought something up that reminded her of that subject, so she asked him if he’s getting laid. And this led to a long and very personal conversation about their marriage. She was feeling inadequate and sad because he didn’t want her back then and she was a fool. This was leading to insecurities with our relationship. I assured her and we talked it through until she felt better. I then expressed my insecurities. I felt that she was giving in and holding on to her ex. Not just in an emotional way, but a sexual way as well. She proceeded to say that my insecurities are bullshit and get angry at me for “ finding the one way to make her conversation with her ex seem bad or make her seem like a liar”. I tried to tell her that it seemed like she was willing and ready to hash things out with her ex, but wasn’t giving me the same patience or respect with me insecurities and this was part of the reason I was insecure. We are now in a huge argument because I was putting my insecurities on her. AITA??

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

OYJdH0Swn7PxoOD3XfKdOtotoHLgMRvN

amuw37

AITA for feeling shitty my best friend didn’t take me to a hockey game?

Context: I’ve been best friends with this guy for a long time, over 10 years. I’m a huge hockey fan, and he also is a big hockey fan. We’re both in first year university, and went to the same high school together. So for the past few months, we’ve always talked about how whenever out favourite teams are playing, we’ll go see them. We live in a city we’re tickets are quite expensive, so obviously we can’t go all the time. Now, I find out today that one of his other close friends is at a hockey game, and I’m surprised because he isn’t really a big hockey fan. So I message my friend and ask him if he’s at the game, and to my surprise he is. Two of his favourite teams are playing, and he tells me he got tickets for his birthday, and because the other guy has only been to one hockey game, he decided to take him. Now, normally that would be fine, but I know for a fact he has seen a game before. Plus, he didn’t even mention it to me despite him knowing how huge a hockey fan I am, and the fact that I haven’t been to many games either. On the one hand I understand that they’re his tickets, and as much as it sucks that he didn’t want to take me, I get it. But the fact that he lied to me about it, and also just decided not to mention it to me at all pisses me off a lot.

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

XOamt7UoD9nOsnQjNUWfsKx4jdGV708h

ajta6b

AITA for commenting on how my gf and her mum arguing makes me uncomfortable?

So me (19M) and my gf’s (18F) relationship hasn’t been as good as its previously been recently. To set the scene, we both live at home. Me with my parents, her with her mum. She was saying how she doesn’t feel very comfortable in my house (as if she isn’t welcome etc.). To which I replied that I don’t feel comfortable sometimes while at her’s. The reason for this is because her and her mum will bicker with each other over meaningless things and I’m just left to awkwardly sit there whilst they squabble with each other. It usually starts off with one of them talking in a snappy tone to the other and both are equally at fault for doing it as the other. This is something that makes me feel extremely uncomfortable but I haven’t brought it up since it’s something between them and I’ve felt it to be rude to bring up. However when I told my gf how I sometimes feel uncomfortable in her house she said “yeah I know because my mum is fucking rude and nasty”. I took this as a signal that she understood the reason I felt uncomfortable however I felt that it wasn’t fair to paint her mum in this light when she’s equally guilty of the same behaviour. I replied saying that, yes, sometimes her mum can be rude in the way she talks to you but also how uncomfortable their arguing makes me. I also pointed out that most of the time it’s both of them talking to each other in a progressively worse and worse tone. She told me how out of order it was for me to comment on her relationship with her mum and that “I don’t understand and never will”. She started saying how could I say such bad things about her mum (I personally feel that, even though it came from her daughter, she’d be more upset to read what she said about her). I never meant for my comment to have the intention of being a personal attack on her mum or her relationship with her mum. The only reason I said it was because I felt it was unjust for her to blame her mum solely for these arguments and because it created a suitable opportunity for me to bring up how I’ve been feeling about it. It’s something I’ve felt uncomfortable with ever since the relationship began (just under a year ago) but realised it would be inappropriate to bring it up out of context. I’ve tried to include as many details here so as to not give a bias story so that you can make a fair judgement. Am I the asshole?

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

RIGHT

FJ2u1Tojs9VtXH52bb1iLBAdP6WYn3Yt

b0cdwc

AITA for missing out on family events to work on homework

A little info, I’m an Early College student, for those who don’t know it’s a school where you earn a high school diploma and college degree at the same time. Now as some of you can imagine it’s a lot of work...like holy shit. Now anyway often times I get caught off guard with work, and toss in a part time job, I often have to miss family events. Now parents didn’t mind at first (after all it’s for school). But they’ve started to hate it. I’ve missed.... -My Grandma’s b-day party -multiple Uncle’s b-day party -multiple cousin’s b-day party -god knows how many dinners out -who knows how many days out to shop, eat, etc My parents think I’m using this as an excuse not to go out. It didn’t help when arguing about this I yelled “SCHOOL IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY” and “IF I DIE FROM THE STRESS OH WELL!!!”, I have also lost sleep from school. Thankfully I’m on Spring Break. So my question, am in the wrong for picking my homework over family?

HISTORICAL

NOBODY

RIGHT

Au8H2omBvPmcrdz7PUUwedVEO6SfHjkf

a4gy4p

AITA for not letting someone get to a car accident

I was on the way home on a long 2 lane bridge (think like 10 miles) with a large shoulder for emergency vehicles. There was a projected 40 minute delay from an accident. We were at a crawl basically idling half the bridge. Evey once and a while a policeman would speed past with his lights on. Then an expedition tries to zoom past in the shoulder which is a common thing for people to try and cut back in later when forced. Often one car leads to others up to dozens at a time trying to drive on the shoulder. The truck in front of me actually pulled half into the shoulder to block him and the expedition merged back in behind me. There was also a truck behind him blocking other people from driving in the shoulder. Then every once in a while the expedtion now behind me would start to merge into the shoulder only to be blocked by me. After 30 minutes of this we get to the accident where he puts his hazard lights on then pulls over next to the accident. I assume to pick up one of the people in the accident. I see people do this all the time slowing traffic and even slowing down emergency vehicles just to try and "cut the line" and save a few minutes. Yes I dont know this guys story or why he is trying to go faster but i think in general people who do this or doing a general disservice to others. I think he should have just followed one of the multiple policeman that drive by. I dont feel bad about it now but should I?

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

RIGHT