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ancigz

AITA for breaking my friend’s trust and causing her embarrassment at school

So I recently got back in town from a long hospitalization process and a friend of mine (I’ll refer to her as M) reached out to me and we decided to hang out at her house to catch up. I feel like we got a lot closer as the night went on and she ended up being my first kiss. When I got home that night she texted me that she didn’t want anyone to find out about what happened and I told her I understood and I would keep it on the DL. Two nights later I went to my school’s theatre production that she was performing in. During the second act this other girl I knew (we were just acquaintances), asked if she could talk to me outside about something. Apparently while I had been gone for the past three months, she had attempted suicide. Because she knew about my whole thing with MDD, she decided she needed some support from me (because I’ve recovered for the most part from suicidal tendencies). Anyways we talked outside for about 2 HOURS and I felt really bad for her during the whole thing. We talked about so many things and I don’t really remember how, but I ended up telling her that the reason for me coming to the play was to see that girl. Then she asked me if I had my first kiss and I said yes. I told her it was two nights ago. Because she was basically pouring her heart out to me, I told her it was with “M” and the context of it. Because of the serious and personal nature of most of our conversation, I just assumed that what we talked about would be kept between us. I was wrong. She ended up telling people, and the next day tons of people knew about M and I. M has completely shut me out and won’t respond to any of my messages. She did say she just needs space so I’ve been waiting it out. It’s been 5 days now. I don’t want her to think that I just blabbed her secret to the whole school (even though I pretty much did), but mostly I just don’t want our friendship to die. AITA

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atezk7

AITA for being pissed at friends planning capabilities?

This is about a group going out eating to celebrate 2 peoples birthdays. Boba Fett: One getting celebrated Han Solo: other one getting celebrated Mr T: Boba Fett's oldest friend Kodo: half of the wombocombo planning it all So 2 weeks ago Solo's gf and Kodo texted a bunch of people about how we were gonna go out and eat to celebrate Solo and Boba Fett (paying for them). They said it was either gonna be friday or saturday. That was all info given to us at the time. Since I didn't hear more of it I assumed it would be on saturday (bad planning on my part I know) and so I was gonna spend the friday after work at my gf. On wednesday I get told I can end work at 1 pm on friday (this never happens) so I tell the gf I can come over at 2 instead. Last night when me, Kodo and Mr T were in discord Kodo suddenly says we're going out on friday at 3 pm (that means somehow he and Solo's gf forgot I always end work at 4 pm) and that Mr T apparently hadn't been invited. Also we're going bowling at 8 pm. I get pissed at Kodo for not telling us sooner and forgetting to invite Boba Fett's oldest friend, meaning I gotta tell gf I'll come over at 9 pm instead. Mr T get's pissed aswell having not been invited. Later that night Boba Fett joins the call and he hadn't been told anything until then. He get's really confused that he hadn't been told before and that Mr T hadn't been invited. So now Mr T is invited to eat but since they've already booked the bowling, he can't join on that. Leaving me, Mr T and my gf pissed (she since I get there much later). So am I the asshole for being pissed at Kodo and Solo's gf for doing some shit-tier planning?

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AITA: BJ deprived (NSFW)

AITA : My gf and I were together for 2 years and a month. I feel a little bad for breaking up with her. I know she wants kids and we are 38 and 36 respectively. So she feels she is down to the wire for a healthy pregnancy. I learned about the 3 week mark that she did not like giving blow jobs and was never going to give one to completion. Sex was more regular in the first couple of months. But after about 3-6 months it became apparent she was not into sex (at least with me). I guess I felt shallow making a big deal about it. I brought it up but she was not persuaded and it did not change the frequency. She loved massage, but it was always in a physical/medical aspect and she rarely reciprocated, never sensual to her. I became resentful over time. At the 1 year mark I opted NOT to move in with her given that the sex issue was not solved and was at the forefront of my mind. She says this was a devastating blow to the relationship. For the sake of discussion trust me that I did at least 2-3 times the house chores in her house ( I maintained my own separate apartment.) I began to check out of the relationship. We coordinated on dog parenting well. I came to the conclusion that there was nothing in the relationship for me. Barely any sex, no blowjobs (trust me I was willing to reciprocate), no cleaning help, I paid for most outings and groceries. Is it bad to want my gf to swallow? I see how it seems sexist. So I told her I wanted to break up. Am I an asshole? If we had sex more I think it would not have been such a big deal. But that was not the case. So the concept of swallowing became giant in my mind.

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azkhzd

AITA for a Facebook request

In my school days there was a humanitarian action to collect money to a student's sick Dad. On our generations Facebook group two girls informed us about that und said that we should message them on Facebook (It was the only social media around) . Before I messeged them I thought I should first made them Facebook friends requests . They neglected it that made me feel angry . Scuould I just messaged them whitout the request?

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96BPV6VW7plKHa7T4e8sQzhbVMUACRUj

b7r0ei

WIBTA if I asked my friend to stop sharing one of her favorite stories...

TL;DR - One friend likes to tell a 6 year story about another friend of mine that ends up making the latter sound unreasonable/entitled, and I'm wondering if I can ask her to stop. Backstory: I got married 6 years ago, had five bridesmaids, and there were a few things the MOH did that two of the other bridesmaids took particular exception to (never heard what the remaining two thought). At one point one of the bothered bridesmaids (this is going to be our Story Telling Friend later on, so I'll call her STF) called me up and asked me to straighten the MOH out about a particular request she had made for the bachelorette party. Unfortunately for her I essentially responded with "Her request doesn't bother me, y'all are adults, figure it out" (I used more diplomatic words at the time). I'm friends with them from different places, so they haven't interacted since. The problem now is that STF has been telling the story of the bachelorette party all over the place for the last 6 years, the central point being "Guess what this one crazy MOH did...". And by "all over the place" I'm including 3 separate podcasts-- one was writing in "for advice" (4 years after the wedding), one was as a guest on another podcast last summer, and one was on her own podcast talking about how she had talked about it on the other 2 podcasts. People typically agree with STF that my MOH was being ridiculous, and the validation STF gets is like catnip to her. And who knows, maybe my MOH really WAS wrong at the time, and I was wrong for not backing STF. I'm willing to be wrong, and I'm certainly willing to let her continue believing she was right. I have zero expectation that she'll change her mind. I'm just sick of hearing about it, especially if the people responding are super harsh on MOH. On one of the podcasts someone called her a "fucking bitch", and STF just laughed. I got reallll pissed about that (and to be clear, if the tables were reversed and MOH kept dragging STF in public, I'd feel the same way). That said, and this is the dilemma... those feelings don't necessarily mean I have the right to stop STF from talking about something that happened to her. It's not "my story" to control. It is hers. And I mean I get it, she has a interesting story, she comes out looking like a martyr, who wouldn't cash in on that? Plus she doesn't use names, and she doesn't technically lie when she tells it. Slants it, sure, but it's not like she's slandering or trying to ruin MOH's life. Just thinks it's funny and likes the reaction she gets from it. Nevertheless, it's at the expense of a very dear friend. So, what do you think? Do I get to tell STF to STFU, or do I have to just plug my ears and keep my head down?

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UOAzhOye3kqdPjNb7AN6Iu8gPoCaAQkb

9yoly6

AITA for being upset that my GF started texting while I was talking to her?

We've been together 4 years. This is a sore point because she recently ended an affair where she prioritized texting her homewrecker at every opportunity. ​ Today we were driving to the store together and while I was mid-sentence, her phone buzzed and she pulled up the message and started writing a response. I stopped talking to her, took her home, and did the grocery shopping alone. ​ AITA for not having patience for my GF texting while I'm talking to her?

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axez05

AITA for rejecting this guy?

So, I met this guy, let’s call him JOHN in college. Middle of my freshman year, I broke up with my hs boyfriend from home. The breakup was mutual and amicable at first, but took a turn once my ex heard I had started seeing other people after we broke up. So, JOHN, being a nice friend, moved a third mattress into his and his roommate’s (ADAM) room for a week so I could be w my friends. Shortly after, I made out with ADAM, but clarified I didn’t want a relationship, and we only just kissed a few times. ADAM was livid because he told me he had strong feelings for me, and we didn’t end on good terms. I had set boundaries before that I didn’t want a relationship, but ended up hurting ADAM anyway. So, JOHN, took my defense and said ADAM was being a jerk about the whole thing. JOHN suggests I should’ve made out w him instead of ADAM, avoiding the drama I was currently in. He then tried to kiss me, and I dodged it, but we laughed it off, and I told him it would never happen. Totally fine and our friendship grew. middle of my soph year, my new boyfriend (Carl), and I just broke up. My heart was broken, seriously. But JOHN, being the guy that he is, was there every second I needed. Took me shopping, for ice cream, invited me over to watch movies, ETC. I guess we “flirted” by doing stuff alone like watching movies and holding hands, but I never had romantic feelings and felt like I made it clear when he tried to kiss me previously. Over that winter break, JOHN and I talked almost everyday on FaceTime and texted all the time. He was all around a great friend, and I appreciated having him around, but he would casually say he loved me and kissed me a lot. On New Years, JOHN texted me a very long message saying that he was totally in love with me, that I’m the person he thinks about before he falls asleep and as soon as he wakes up, that I’m the most amazing person and girl he’s ever met, etc,. I responded thanking him, but that I wasn’t interested in something like that, and he accepted it, and we stayed friends. after winter break, I got back together with Carl. Since JOHN had been there with me through all the BS, I thought it would be better for JOHN to hear from me that Carl and I are back together, so I told him. He told me that he needed space, blocked me on Instagram, completely ignored me anytime he saw me, and still does today, over a year later. I recently texted him to apologize for how things went down (although I feel as if I didn’t do much wrong), and he basically just said thanks. We had a great friendship, and it completely ended when I told him Carl and I were getting back together. We don’t even look at each other when we see each other, wave, say hi, nothing. So...AITA for the way I handled things with John? Or Adam? Ps, Carl and I broke up for good right after all of this.

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41gOyBe3ZGqaNrorj68JEbwqAIL6NVrx

anmoqr

AITA for hooking up with a good friend's ex girlfriend?

Going to try keep this as short and as simple as possible but some context is needed. ​ One of my good friends broke up with his girlfriend approx. 3 months ago. He broke up with her because (from what he told me) he wasn't ready to commit to a long-distance relationship when she went overseas for a period of time. Fair enough. As far as I was aware they were still on good terms and he had moved on, hooking up with multiple other girls since then, including one of my close friends. Last night we were all at a club, when a mutual friend came up and told me my friend's ex wanted to hook up. I didn't really consider it much, as I thought it wasn't a huge deal - they're still on good terms, and from what I knew my friend had moved on, so I went for it. He has told me this morning he is 'disappointed in me' and that it was a 'dog move', which in any other situation I would agree, but I had no idea it would affect him like that. He's also told me there's other stuff going on in his life that is difficult for him, and my actions made it worse. I had no idea about anything else going on in his life. I have some mutual friends really angry with me, while others say i've done nothing wrong. I'm incredibly conflicted and need help figuring this out.

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PplM1lzLyS1OCmxp0RaJKMNv6OjUaLmg

a4q8yu

AITA for telling my friend not to assume everyone is straight?

My friend and I were talking about a show we watch on a Discord server, and during the discussion he mentioned that he knows one of the characters is straight because they showed an interest in a member of the opposite sex. I realize that when someone likes someone of the opposite sex, it’s usually a great indicator that they’re straight. However, I am bisexual myself, and I’ve experienced firsthand other people assuming my sexuality and treating me according to that assumption. It’s usually harmless, but I’ve had a few people assume I’m straight and then talk about how much they personally hate gay people. I politely told my friend that assuming everyone is straight can be harmful. This was met with a response from him lecturing me on how I shouldn’t be an sjw and that assuming people are straight is in no way harmful. Am I the asshole in this situation, and should I apologize?

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au76je

AITA for asking why mum didnt wish her grandchild a happy birthday?

TL;DR at the bottom. I am going to start this by saying since my dad died she "forgets" stuff all the time. My dad has been gone 6 years now. I've begged for her to go to see her Dr but she refuses. I live an hour from my mum and I think because of this there is a lot of out of sight out of mind. In the weeks leading up to my Daughter's birthday everytime we spoke I would remind her that it was M's birthday on the 27th. She'd tell me she knew as it was on her calendar, that she wouldn't forget. On her birthday nothing comes through the post. Mum actually called me on the evening. I figured she'd called to wish M happy birthday but she had called to rant about how my sister had lied to her. (my younger sister is going through a very hard time as her 8yr old daughter has incurable cancer but she still managed to wish my daughter a happy birthday!). I eventually managed to say "that M has had a good day today and we've just got back from tea" which is responded with "oh, that's nice.. I have to go now" and before I had chance to say about her birthday, she hung up. Anyway, I get a phone call the next day saying she's going to post M's cards out so she can get them by the next Tuesday (This was 3 days after her birthday) I asked her why she never asked to speak to M when I spoke to her yesterday She then starts telling me it's my fault I never said anything, That I should have put her on the phone. I would have, had I been given the chance. I kept calm and explained why I was disappointed all the while she was screaming at me. Screaming it was my fault, that she can't help being forgetful then she hangs up then refuses to answer the phone. I send her a message saying I wouldn't apologize for standing up for my children. All she was bothered about is that this whole situation was my fault and to not speak to her ever again because she's my mother and I shouldn't speak to her like that. Tuesday comes and goes and the card arrives. I give M the phone and she calls my mum. She says thank you and has a small conversation with her. When M had finished she asked my mum if she wanted to talk to me and I heard her say no and hung up. A month goes by and I hear nothing. One day she rings and I answer. She tries brushing the whole thing under the carpet by calling me a liar. She tells me she sent the cards out before my daughter's birthday. I sent her screen grabs of our conversation with the date stamp above showing the day after but she calls me a liar, says that I changed the date on the messages etc. She then tells me I am trying to kill her and that I won't be happy till she's dead. That couldn't be the furthest thing from the truth. TL;DR : I reminded my mum that it was nearly my daughter's birthday, she forgot. She blames me. Calls me a liar when I show her proof. Tells me I won't be happy till she is dead and in a box. So Reddit, AITA?

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dwqsAdZTN5QbW8epzjk1y09EmJc5o6eV

aar95b

AITA for wanting my neighbors to be more quiet?

I've (guy) been living in my apartment (basement) for 6 months now with my roommate (girl) and have had minimal interactions with our upstairs neighbors. Upon moving in I quickly discovered there are very thin walls in this place. My neighbors often play music very loud, normally in the living room. It's often so loud I can hear it through my headphones. Normally they play music on weekends at typical hours (quiet by midnight). Sometimes they do play on weeknights, but I have let that slide. Today I was taking a nap at noon in my bedroom and was awoken by their music. I decided I was going to say something, so I knocked on their door, but their music was so loud they did not hear me. I left a note asking if they could keep it down. For some reason I also decided to tell my property manager. My property manager forwarded me their response "Hi ___, we understand that it is the basement floor complaining as they have left us a note. The music is really not that loud and only gets played somewhat loudly on weekends. I’m happy to even talk to the boys myself because they themselves will play music loud or be loud in other ways but we do not complain because we understand that it is an apartment building. We can hear the child from second floor constantly but don’t mind because it’s not a big deal. Also, we don’t appreciate that the boys have their girlfriends living there and it gets noisy sometimes and they are also using our laundry machine and such but we try to be good neighbors and not complain about the little things." First off, it is only my roommate (girl) and I (boy) who live here, and we are both single. Their music was loud since it woke me up. They do play music on weeknights occasionally. I don't know what we do that is noisy since we both use headphones for everything and rarely have people over. They are right that someone comes over and uses the laundry machine, but that's my roommates friend who gives her a ride to the grocery store in exchange. I found it rude that they insinuated I'm a bad neighbor because I complained. So I asked for their phone numbers and wrote them a text asking if we could talk this over. One of them said she'll meet with me on Monday, but I better be ok with "music and laughter" that night since it's NYE. Tldr, AITA for wanting my neighbors to be a little more quiet?

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zZ38pdzIz5S83dKwZ4SliWCd0zyrbVwF

an7jyq

AITA for wishing divorce on my sister?

My sister and I have a large age gap. She is 20 years older than I am. She met her husband when they were both in service and have been together since I was 5 years old. I just can’t stand him because he has such a condescending personality towards my family and belittling to others not like him. She has always bragged about her husband being really smart and being a physician who makes a lot of money and is able to provide a lavish lifestyle for their family compared to what we grew up with in our low income family. Her advice to me was to always find an intelligent man that was able to provide for me. I was always like yeah okay sure 🤷🏽‍♀️.... I never really understood the beef between our family and her husband until recent years where they moved closer by to the rest of our family. From when I was younger I just knew he was a smart individual who was going to school to become a physician. He is now a surgeon. Has switched locations multiple times anytime he doesn’t like where he works. When I was younger I thought that was normal. Now older I’ve learned he has continuously jumped from jobs every 6 months and the longest he’s stayed anywhere was less than a 1.5yr because he won’t work with anyone he doesn’t get along with. Our mother is the only person out of our parents to have contact with their children because my sister and dad don’t get along. However, every time my mom tries to feed the kids, change their diapers, or carry them my brother in law would helicopter my mom on how to do it or in one case actually pushed her away because he didn’t want her to do it. My mom has discussed it many times with them that she has raised 6 children and was feeling offended. Also, anytime my mom would offer remedies to help with colds or sleep deprivation with the children he would tell her he’s a surgeon in a first world country and her advice is toxic. I was quite taken a back because all my mom offered was maybe giving the babies massages or giving them steam baths to allow them to relax and stop crying while sick. Around tax time last year. My sister was telling me about how much she dreads doing it. I am a graduate in finance and tax, so I offered my help. Our brother is also a tax preparer and also offered as well. We follow up with our sister and she says no her husband doesn’t feel comfortable with us performing the complexity of their income information, so they will be going to a professional. At that point my brother and I were like okay, that wasn’t slightly offensive I guess. We later find out they decided to go to H&R Block. My sister calls me upset because they’ve been there the entire day and the person doesn’t seem to know what they’re doing. I told her no shit it’s H&R Block, they’re not CPAs..... I also at one point after college had to live with my sister and her family right after graduation because I had no where else to live and was unemployed. She offered me a place to stay with her husband’s consent as well. While, I stayed there I was babysitting their kids cleaning the common areas of the house. Constantly my sister would complain to me about her husband not helping around and spending frivolous amounts of money. The parts that bothered me the most were anytime that my sister would openly ask her husband and I for opinions on furthering her career, he would tell my sister she was being stupid or selfish and then downplay anything I had to say because how could I give advice if I needed to have my sister save me from homelessness. I got really upset and said he was completely out of line on that. The kids also felt uncomfortable with expressing the things they liked because of their dad shooting them down. I’ve also seen him lose his cool and yell at their 2-yr old son because he wouldn’t eat his food, so he just took the food and threw it all away. I had to walk in and intervene asking if he needed to step aside or needed some space because I could watch the baby. He said he knew what he was doing, the baby was just making him late for errands and just got briefly upset. I got into an argument with him over me saying IHOP lying about changing their name to IHOB and he said I should stop spreading inaccurate information because they did in fact do it if I bothered reading the news properly. So I was just stuck at wait what 🤦🏽‍♀️🙃... I lived day in and day out with them for 2 months and I personally just felt it was so toxic and exhausting just to be there. I ended up leaving the moment I had found a job and secure place to live. Before I left I got into an argument with my sister and her ultimately telling me that she agrees with her husband that I and the rest of our family just use her and take her for her money and her sincerity. I was just like where the hell did this come from and I told her thanks for everything, but I hope you realize there’s better things out there and get a divorce if it just weren’t for the kids. TL;DR My sister’s husband acts like a condescending prick to everyone and I told her I wish she would just get a divorce even though they have kids.

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aywsy0

AITA for refusing to play in any other position?

So I play FIFA pro clubs with a few friends every night or so. You basically make your own player and control that player for the entire game. We’ve done well over a couple hundred games and are in a top division, our usual tactic is for me to make a giant who gets crossed the ball for me to head it in easily. I recently decided I didn’t really enjoy it too much, I mean it’s okay but I’d like to be challenged more and enjoy the game more, rather than exploiting the gameplay for easy goals. I got bored of how repetitive it was. So I decided to remake my pro to look exactly like me, with my name, my height and most importantly my position - RB (my real life football position) We drew the first two games and lost the 3rd. Throughout all three games my teammate, M, would make passive aggressive comments pressuring me to go back to our usual tactic (me up front as a giant heading balls in). Every time I lost the ball, slipped up, was slightly out of position or made even a minor mistake - he’d call it out. Anytime he or anyone else made an error, I’d say nothing - because it’s a game, we’re here to have fun, not play competitively. Anyways, before the third game ended he quit the game and switched over to Fortnite, citing my position change as the reason we weren’t winning anymore. I refused to move back, saying I didn’t enjoy playing up front anymore and he said “we don’t enjoy losing all the time”. Am I the asshole for resisting my friends’ call to change back? My other friends agree with M and the 3 of them all want me to change back to striker.. but for me this is a game, and I’d rather lose having fun than win but feel like I’m only there out of obligation.

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b00snm

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend (also through text) (may require two judgements)

So a while back, I was getting pretty serious with a girl late into highschool (who now hates me and I am 100% sure her friends do too over this). The summer of the year before I went to college, I came back from camp, and she was distant. Lost her mind on me when I went to hang out with friends as well. A week later, she went to her churches camp, and dumped me while there. She talked about how we don't communicate, all of these issues she had with me, and how I didn't care. None of this came up before now. She made all of these promises with me how we would talk about this stuff. A week later, she is dating my best friend, after she said she couldn't date anyone after a decently long relationship. Needless to say, I was in no way shape or form in a good place. And knowing him well, he would want sex from her. I know damn well she would say no. She called me a liar, and talked about how sweet he was, etc. 3 weeks into their relationship, he starts sending her suggestive photos to say the least. She comes back crying to me, confused as to why he did that. This is my first AITA. I straight up told her, "I told you he would do this, I told you why. *I told you so.*" Yea. She did not take it well, but came back regardless. And, to my later ire, I accepted. She even reinstituted our 'anniversary' as if that everything that did happen just didn't exist at all. Fast forward to me moving to college. 6 months later. I arrive at college, and we talked incessantly. (In hindsight, I really should not have taken her back.) She would talk about going to a party *in which the host had a crush on her for years*. I asked her not to go. She went. I asked her how it went later and she denied ever sending the text. She would sometimes dissappear for days on end. I was getting tired of it, months of it, and I met a girl who made me realize that, not all girls are that way, and, I could get someone who really cared about me and my oppinions. She became my confidant, and I ended up really liking her. Like a lot. BUT I DID NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GIRL OTHER THAN FRIENDSHIP. Hardly ever alone together aside from the occasional lunch together. Mostly hung out in classes and studied together in groups. (Second judgement time) Two days before the 'anniversary', I sent my GF a text that we were through. I couldnt take it any longer. I also felt that pushing it beyond the anniversary would just make it worse, and make me feel worse. It took her, IIRC, three days to even respond to that. She called me sobbing, begging pleading, asking what she did wrong, even though I made it known to her. Winter break she tried to try again, and after repeated begging, I gave her a chance after she promised me it would be better. Three weeks in back at college, I was so busy, I barely texted or called anyone. Got a breakup text from her (after telling her I would be swamped). Didn't much care at that point. I felt it was going to happen anyways. So, AITA x2?

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6HZUbyoVgrfPWfZvtkEogiLJADBXayIs

apdq2m

WIBTA for being annoyed she never called?

Sorry if the formatting sucks, I'm on mobile. Night before last, my daughter (7) was up at 4am with stomach pain and vomiting, but it seemed to calm down and she was fine all day, until about 6pm when she started saying it was hurting again, which progressed to full-blown sobbing her heart out and writing. I told my partner to take her straight to the Walk-In Centre, which she did (we have a 1-year-old, so I had to stay home). It usually takes about 2-3 hours, we both assumed she'd be home by like 9-10pm. She didn't take her phone as it wasn't charged and she didn't see the point. Her mum ran her up, and she texted me around 9pm to say they were sending her to the hospital for more tests, which meant a lengthy A&E wait. This was fine, I'd just have to stay up until she was home, since she ALWAYS forgets her keys. Midnight comes and still no word, then 1am, 2am etc and I'm worrying about what's happening, my palms are itching, I'm chain-smoking, I feel sick to my stomach etc - but SURELY if she was admitted she'd find a way to contact me? I've memorised her number for this exact reason, and I've had the same number for the duration of our relationship. Fast-forward to 6am, I still haven't slept, no word of what's happening, and I bite the bullet and ring the hospital. They let me know she was admitted last night and they were both fast asleep in her room. I'm trying to be chill and think of how stressed my fiancée must have been, but I'm fuming. Why hasn't she got my number memorised for literal medical emergencies like our daughter being admitted to hospital? Her mum must have gone home, why would she not ask her to let me know what's happened? Why didn't she take her phone and charger on the off-chance she was admitted? I've been awake all night, itching and worrying to the point of near vomiting. It's 7am now, I can hear the baby babbling away and I've gotta get her up, changed, fed and play with her on over 24 hours without sleep. I'm terrified of falling asleep sat-up while I'm the only one in the house and her hurting herself. I've left my number with the ward and they're gonna get her to call me when she's up and I feel like I'm gonna be a huge asshole for being upset that I've been left out of the loop about my own daughter being admitted, and that maybe I should just bottle it up like I don't care.

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odKee2FZr0WqkriFqLLJSR2x7FRAFjAi

av764t

AITA for ghosting a girl who threw up all over my bathroom?

So awhile ago I (18M) went on like three dates with this girl (19) and I guess I should say from the start I wasn’t looking for anything as serious as she was. I live in Washington and admittedly I smoke a lot of weed (not just recreationally, I have an eating disorder+sleep problems) and she knew that and I think that’s why she liked to talk a lot about smoking weed which is fine although annoying at times. She talks of big game so she said she wanted to smoke with me and I won’t sugar coat it when I say I can handle my fair share of THC. Dabs, or oil, is the oils that come from the bud of the plant and it is a lot stronger than just your average weed. In the past I’ve had people dab around me for their first time and they got very sick so when she was telling me she wanted to try dabs I was very hesitant but she was very persistent and talked about how much she smokes so I said alright and gave her a really really small dab (definitely the size of a dab that wouldn’t even phase someone who smoked as much as she claimed). We sat on my couch for about a half hour in silence and she just sat on her phone. Eventually she leaned forward and was shaking really badly so I told her she might wanna go to the bathroom if she’s feeling sick and she did. She was in there for about an hour before she crawled out on her hands and knees (not making this up), on the phone with her mom who was yelling at her to talk to me. Great. She I call her mom down tell her it’s only weed she just needs to sleep. Her mom says her dad is on the way to pick her up. Again, great. I get her on my couch and she is fading in and out of consciousness and I’m telling her to keep checking her phone cause her dads on his way and then she tells me he’s gonna come get her from my room. She instantly I start getting crazy anxiety that this strange man I’ve never met before is gonna come get his daughter from my room while she’s high as fuck. After maybe ten minutes of contemplating what I should do and hiding my rigs and bongs, I deceived to get her to the front door if I had to carry her up. I told her that and she stands up just fine and walks to my living room couch. Her dad gets there she seems like she’s just fine and just leaves. About a half hour later I pick up my friend and we go back to my house. I open my bathroom door for the first time since I’ve been back and there is literally chunks and chunks of puke all over the floor. Not only did she not try to clean it up she didn’t even tell me about it. It’s been a couple weeks and she went on a trip to Hawaii and we were gonna hang out when she got back, but honestly I’ve been kind of weirded out by the whole situation and I’ve more or less ghosted her. Am I the asshole?

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tgkuzQBGQnMlRqxyTs1WRGYf5coVm3Wc

b8csin

AITA for asking my bf to slow down his drinking?

So a bit of backstory-I come from a substance abusing family.Ive never done drugs or anything of the sort myself but most of my relatives are composed of functioning alcoholics, drug addicts or a mix of the two.He has never had a problem with my fears until now. Tonight he drank more than usual.Which isnt a problem for me.But he was crashing into things, dropping his phone etc & just causing me to worry in general.The last straw was when he went to sit down & tipped in his chair nearly smashing his head against the desk.I told him he was scaring me & that I wanted him to slow down until dinner was ready(about 20 minutes at that point).He said “I’m fine”. Mind you I dont doubt that hes okay physically I’m just concerned.I know I would have been overreacting to ask him to stop drinking all together which is why I opted to ask him to slow down until he had some food in his system.I didnt think this was asking much for all of 20 minutes.But this blew up.He kept repeating I’m fine over & over until I finally said “well Im not Im scared!”He said “I know my limitations,I can f*cking get up for work tomorrow,I can handle myself,you dont need to worry,Im fine”. This time much angrier. This went back & forth until he pointed out he hadnt drank since he sat down.Which is true.But from my perspective it was because we were too busy arguing not because he was choosing not to.I asked him if it was planned which he insisted “Im fine” should have conveyed & it was my problem for interpreting it wrong.I told him I took it how anyone else would in the situation.If you angrily say “Im fine!” That doesn’t convey “okay Ill slow down”. I even gave him an example / if you go to a bar & tell a guy hes drank too much &he says “Im fine,I know my limits” that tells you he doesnt think he needs to stop.He then accused me of getting mad over the phrasing. Once again back & forth where(I admit I went into a scolding tone w it unintentionally) I resorted to telling him the difference.While “okay” & “fine” are interchangeable & either by itself are words of confirmation, saying “Im” in front of it turns it from agreement to description. He refuses to admit that he wasnt conveying his words, saying its my fault for not understanding.I told him that if he had been conveying it perfectly like he claims I wouldve understood right away.All he had to say was “okay” or anything to that effect -rather than defend his limits.He then ignored me at every attempt to speak insisting he had to eat & to sleep going as far as to push me out of the way(not roughly I’m not claiming physical abuse &he has never been physical with me).He insisted I only wanted to hear that I was right & he was wrong. I admit I didn’t do well with the situation but in the end..am I the ass? Did I just really not understand what he was saying?Honest feed back please TL;DR Asked Bf to slow down on alcohol for 20 minutes until dinner, turned into an argument about his limits and our communication.Am I the ass?

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EVERYBODY

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8xlS0ulDcxQwFcwH0gmKqZ5oP2KW5Wj7

alsaff

AITA for disliking the fact that my best friend hangs out with and is close to my ex-boyfriend?

So, my best friend and I (both females) hang out in the same friend groups, and have a lot of the same friends. Well, a while back, I dated this guy we were friends with, but little did I know, I was rebound. He constantly made me uncomfortable asking for sex/making innuendos, and I told her all of this. When the guy and I broke up, he threatened to kill himself, which I also told her. I tell her everything, I think that's just a "girl thing" you know?? Well, at school, she constantly hangs out with that ex and his best friend and her own boyfriend. It annoys me to no end, I'm not jealous, in fact I'm glad she's so social. But I'm just mad that she is so nice to him despite being so angry at his earlier actions. Am I the asshole for not liking the fact that my bff is all buddy-buddy with my ex?? I don't know what to do.

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deUIT8nyEHpSB083VPcZNc7L7ZfgJdxo

au8qru

AITA in this arguement/debate over a TV show with another redditor?

I got into an arguement/debate with a redditor in an episode discussion thread for Umbrella Academy, you should check it out if you haven't btw. They seemed to think I was being kind of a condescending prick, just trying to see if that's the case. Spoilers for episode 4 of Umbrella Academy AITA https://imgur.com/a/os7XUYb

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bIl3phFyJtSfbdVzDSHvSGfG87ZCxbYC

b8ctxh

AITA For Asking To Use My Dad's Fitbit?

AITA? I recently downloaded an app that pays you based off how many steps you take. It requires a Fitbit to be connected to it. Unfortunately my Fitbit is 7 years old and no longer works how it's supposed to. My dad received a Fitbit as a gift, but has stopped using it, and it's been sitting in a drawer for months. I asked my dad if I could use it and he said sure- at first. Then my mom jumped in. Mom: "You want a Fitbit? You have to earn it. A week of cleaning the bathroom." Me: "I wanted the fitbit to earn money from excersizing. What's the point of paying $200 for a new fitbit to earn back less than that on an app? Besides, I wasn't asking for a new one. I just wanted to borrow dad's. It's just been sitting there for 3 months." Mom: "No. It's his. You want a Fitbit, you have to earn it. Two weeks of cleaning the bathroom." Me: "You JUST said one week.. a new Fitbit is $200, why cant I just use one we already own? He doesn't even use it, it's been collecting dust.." Mom: "200?! I'm not paying $200 for a Fitbit, too bad, you're not getting one." Me: "Why are you even getting involved? I came in here asking DAD if I could borrow HIS Fitbit to earn money and hopefully be motivated to excersize more because of it. This doesn't make any sense. You're being ridiculous." Mom: "No YOU'RE being ridiculous! You can't use it. You're going to break it or something." For the record, I've never shown any record of returning broken objects to them. I believe she just wanted an excuse.. So after a screaming match of how I'm not incompetent enough to just flat out break a fucking Fitbit, now, here I am on reddit, asking if I'm asking too much. Be honest. Am I being an asshole for requesting to borrow my dad's fitbit for this purpose (to earn money on the app) or is my mom overreacting to this whole thing?

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z2n6B3NsW6ehcTUvlsjAMlMvE1m7Gq67

am3ozd

AITA for kissing my best friend in front of an old friend who “likes” him

A little back ground; my best friend (T) is a guy and has been my best friend for about four or five years now. In high school we had a third mutual friend (M), who was actually one of my best friends. She likes drama and has a strong knack for making up stories to sound more interesting than she is. This is the main reason we actually chose to cut her off a little while back. She also has been “in love” (no I don’t believe it’s that serious) with my best friend since they were freshmen in high school. As of very recently me and T started fooling around. There are feelings but neither of us want anything serious so that’s all it is. But we decided that we should reach back out to M and try mending bridges. This is where we might have been assholes. She apologized to me recently for lying like she had, and we wanted to see if she’d actually changed that, and if she really wanted to be friends again. To test this, we planned on seeing how she handled us being a thing, because as I said, she’s “in love” with him, because honestly if the roles between myself and M were reversed, I’d have been okay with it and happy for her. So, we planned on meeting up at her place, drinking, smoking, and having a good time. Things she also agreed to and said she’d take equal part in. To be safe, we had her bring over her best friend as well. Just Incase we couldn’t hold ourselves and got too touchy with one another. Well lo and behold, we didn’t hold ourselves well and ended up just making out for a little bit. This probably wouldn’t have been too bad, had M’s best friend not bailed to be with her new boyfriend, and had M had more than two shots for the whole night like she said she would. She had been almost completely sober while the rest of us were heavily inebriated. When we go to call it a night, she refuses to sleep in her room, with us like planned (I was going to be on the floor, not with T) and texts our group chat asking her best friend to come back because she’s upset and she includes a gif of someone crying. T and I see this, say f-it, and cuddled up together on a large bean bag M had in her room. The next morning T and I apologized for being so touchy and she accepts it, but obviously shies away from the topic, and according to T, when I was away from them, she was very very interested in where I spent the night. He didn’t lie to her about it. Here’s where I think she turned into the asshole. We spent the morning talking about random things (to note T and I had been awake for hours before her and had gotten high again) and all seemed well until she realized just how high we were. Lies started coming left and right, and I caught much more of them than T did. But almost all of them fell in line with the same ideas that she didn’t like people who dated T because she loved T first. Some notable ones where me and her joking about her taste in men (the opposite of T) and saying “yeah well I like T” to which I countered “so do I. Talk dark and handsome, win win win”. Another one was a story about T’s younger sister asking M what she thought about one of his ex’s while we were in high school still. This story didn’t happen, T’s sister wouldn’t have talked to M and didn’t care about T or his girlfriend at the time, but she ended it by looking at me and saying “I told her I don’t know but I don’t like anyone who gets with T so it doesn’t matter to me”. Another one was her talking about pretending to fight over T and her comments again seemed directed at me; “I knew him first”, “I’ve liked him longer”, “we kissed first” (story to that, she swindled him into kissing her once when he was very very drunk and he has done nothing but regret it since). She also took time to dig at some of his ex’s (yes most were horrible but she chose to dig on the ones that were not at all), specifically in s way that seemed to make it very clear anyone who “took” T from her was wrong. I wish T and I had left and that was as bad as it got. But no. We ended up st the mall walking around later, and T and I are still high, so I step out to get a drink for me and him (I offered to get her one and she said no. I’m not a dick, maybe) and while I was waiting for them, he came over to me and told me that she had wrapped her arms around him and was leaning all over him in the store. So he pulled away and left to wait with me. For the rest of the afternoon, she continued like this, he’d want to wait for my by the bathroom, she’d say “it’s not far just stay here” and get weird about him waiting for me. I pointed out some shirts that would’ve suited T, she seemed to want to make it into a competition about what suited him. He sat next to me in the car and she actually whined about it. Like literally said “no T you have to sit next to me instead” absolutely nothing about me sitting near her. Finally her “thing that’s not until 4” suddenly became a “thing I need to leave for ASAP at 2pm” so we said bye and left. TLDR; Me and my best friend got intoxicated and made out in front of a mutual ex best friend who’s a notorious liar and “loves” my best friend. After apologizing for being inappropriate, she spent the day making it clear, through made up stories and lies, that anyone who “takes” him from her is bad for him and wrong.

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pO7GfaJINzymSGTPn6S6Fxj7oG8CjD0Z

aobvdt

AITA for reflling the ice "tray" instead of the ice "box"

So my roommate and I got into an argument for when to refill the ice in the freezer. He believes that when you empty the ice box you should empty the ice tray into the box and refill the tray. My position is to refill the ice tray when there's no ice in the icebox, and therefore need to get ice from the ice tray. I understand that this is some petty shit. But I believe he's being unreasonable.

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zsg1jLzg8zH23kNZeviMvqicT1mdacXQ

atjvoe

AITA Posting the definition of a refugee on a Facebook status?

So a little context, I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline and am still in groups for job posting in my city, I haven't unsubscribed since getting a job even though they are usually just filled by people looking for jobs. I see a post that irks me a bit "Times are getting hard here, I want to finish my degree. I am not in a position to file for refugee status so I can leave (City). Is (same country, different city) cheaper living?" so I look on his page first, and see he lists he's BORN in my country, I live in Canada... I interrupted it as he wanted to be a refugee to get income support even though he lists he is Canadian born, so I posted the definition of a refugee, nothing else. A girl asks me "what degree are you completing" I say "Lmao? You're asking me what degree I'm completing even though someone wants to file to be a REFUGEE because they cant find a job?" then they go on to assume this person is not born in Canada and that they want "resettlement assistance" to move somewhere less expensive, and says my ignorance overpowers my insensitivity... so I simply replied "Sorry, but I'm not going to assume someone who lists they're born in (Canadian City) is not Canadian born." ​ I was not POSTING the definition of a refugee, to invalidate him if he is truly from a different country and has migrated here, I am not anti-refugee, and was insulted because I thought this person was basically trying to escape a developed country, just because its expensive, because that's what the post made it sound like. A lot of people I know are anti-refugee, and I understand how my post may have came off that way, but I was genuinely upset because I thought he was trying to just bank the system.

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3gsM3wqEBOXAYQLBobNfj9JuHbXrNBCu

a3fk15

AITA for complaining about moths in my hotel room?

Several years ago, when I was playing baseball in college, we took a road trip down to play a team in our conference. Being in Division II sports, we were never put up in the nicest of hotels, and in this case we stayed at Ramada off the highway. This trip was probably the 4th or 5th time we stayed here. We slept four to a room, and after we checked in, every single room in the hotel was occupied for the night. When we arrived at our hotel room, the window facing outside was **covered** in moths. I'm not exaggerating when I say an entire nest of moths occupied the air conditioner inside. Probably 50-75 of those suckers made that room their home. It must have been weeks since anyone else had stayed the night there. So, my roommates precede to swat the crap out of them for fun in order to rid of the mess. I, on the other hand, thought that even if we were paying $45 a night or less, this was completely unacceptable. I immediately went to the front desk and demanded we get moved. They told me this was not possible, as, like I mentioned, the hotel was completely booked. So, instead, they begrudgingly handed me a broom and a trash bin to clean up the mess of dead moths. I was furious! Am I the asshole for subsequently yelling at person at the front desk for some sort of compensation even though I was a college student who didn't technically pay for the room anyways? We did end up staying two nights in that room, moth guts and all.

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2NVJ1ENx25TcO1SWnPIU7O3lB9osVRMD

ah3z0x

WIBTA for banning a guy off a server?

​ I’m part of a discord server that’s on the small side (30\~members, 15 or so are active). There is one user that no one likes at the moment. Let's call him A. I’ll give you a rundown of why we are considering banning him: ​ He’s started a conflict with another user. This user(T we’ll call him) has had issues with mental health but tries his best to be a good person to be around. A and T started having conflict when T wasn’t in a good mood. A provoked T, which caused him to leave. T returned shortly and said he was sorry, but A didn’t. A, trying to be edgy (I think? I have no idea) left only to return not an hour later. ​ He’s used the NSFW channel way too much. It got so bad that C(He’s important for the main reason I’m writing this) gave him a role that bans him from seeing the NSFW channel. The ban lasted a day. A begged C to give him the channel back, even though it was only for a day. He used it much more the next day. ​ Now to the main point. C and his girlfriend recently broke up. C is really, really, really sad about this. Poor guy wrote some really sad shit. Anyway, A decided to go on a little rant about how lonely he is and how he won’t have any kids. This pissed off C. A lot of other users are DMing us mods and admins about the issue. ​ So Reddit, Would I Be the Asshole for banning him? ​

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XV5ayOksqCb6Guk19wSAoAvOdWSOAhrD

b8t2bg

AITA for having to isolate myself at times from my friends at a Disney trip?

First post about a topic in general and I need feedback. I’m a sophomore in high school and I went on a trip to Disney last week as part of being in the school’s music program. I was randomly assigned to a room with 3 other roommates, one of them being a friend of mine that I got to know better over the course of the trip. On the second day of the trip, he met this girl in my grade and decided to hang out with her friend group. My friend asked if I wanted to tag along with them and I said yes. The friend group originally only consisted of girls, so the only guys would just be my friend and myself. When I was out with the group however, I just either said nothing when other people were talking (mostly I was either thinking about some of the attractions I saw at the areas or I guess I was just shy and would never have anything to say) and at some points, I would always drift away from the group but then come back right after. At one point, in excruciating heat, I was at a line for a food stand that I wasn’t going to even pay, so I found a spot for myself outside of the line and sat down. My friend came over to me and asked if I was okay and I told him yes. When the other friends in the group came to where I was, I said that I found a spot for us to sit down and they didn’t really say anything. I clarified with my friend that I wasn’t purposefully distancing myself from the group because I didn’t like them. He said it was fine and all that, yet I didn’t talk about this with the other girls in the group. I’m probably overthinking this, but I think that I made them believe that I don’t like them or something. AITA for doing this type of stuff?

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OTHER

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jwNZWx62216yszFy2YCAdto8VCIYo6ju

artf43

AITA For making my Mom give up our family cats?

Little background I lived with my mom two sisters and my asshole step father....Dick. Anyway we owned 4 cats 3 Siamese Simba, Timba, Kimba and our Russian Blue Houdini. We had them for years Simba for 18. Over time my sisters and I left the house. Our abusive step-dad DICK and... long story short, he hurt my mom and now going through a really really ugly divorce. But due to some kind bullshit legal reasons he cannot enter hes house....for now (he owns it completely). My mom lost her job due to her own bullshit so she has no money, and she can not stay at that home forever sense it is hes home. We realized this is getting to the point she is begging people to take the cats and save them. No one we know and family likes cats except me (but I can't take them sense I live with grandpa who hates them) so I decided to put this into my own hands. I made contact with a kind rescue I worked with in the past, I even made sure they will take them by donating a 1000 dollars to them (these people take care of their cats). Mom was not having it. I understand she is going through a emotional roller coaster. But she can't keep the cats. If she leaves them he will kill them I mean that. So shes calling me awful for getting rid of her cats saying she loves them and does everything for them.....even thou Simba had rotting teeth and was skinny because she never taken them to the vet......btw I had to get them all updated with shots and examines that cost a total another 1000 dollars plus 3 giant bags of cat food to sweeten the deal with the rescue. ​ I know alot of you are thinking "They're other options"...I'm sorry but there wasn't... I tried everything even begging my circle of friends to take them.... Anyway I explained to her in detail they will be safe and the Siamese will stay together...Houdini is a lone wolf. STILL thinks I'm a asshole and going to send them into kennels where they will put them down. I keep trying to tell her they don't do that, but my Mother goes on these fantasies shes going to get a job and a apartment...which wouldn't happen sad to say (In her state and the fact shes drinking like a horse isn't really proving anything to me). She has even gone as far as to fuck my relationship with these people over just so they wouldn't go. The only place that is willing to save them and she is going to ruin it. I had a enough. So I made the arrangements. I got all the cats and gave me them up. Tears were shed....But I know my Mom hates me for this but I didn't feel had any other choice for them. I even made sure I get updates from them so she knows they're safe. They all have new homes and are loved but I can tell shes still unhappy with it. Shes in that house for only so long before she is forced out and then what? Have her actually leave them there or give them up to a kill shelter (SHE EVEN SAID TO ME SHE RATHER PUT THEM DOWN THEN LOOK) So reddit.....AITA? ​ ​ TL:DR I forced my mom to give up her cats so she can leave my step dads house without fear. ​ Update: Mom is doing well shes leaving my Step-dads home and trying to quit drinking. She understanding with the cats and seems happy they're ok.

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6O7XmnWdRdjtJL1LQEUxDKlD9nUMp2fD

az0mm8

AITA for wanting to know my housemates travel dates?

Pretty simple question here. My housemate is planning on travelling abroad in March. I knew he was keen on a particular country for a while but had no idea he had booked flights until I overheard him discussing it with a friend. Now for some reason he's ignored my FB message asking for his return date. Even discussing it with him in person he mentioned all flights had been booked but still refused to fill me in. I personally believe communication in living situations is super important and am a bit offended being ignored like this. I don't know what he thinks I'm planning, but I legit just want to know when to expect him back home. Am I overstepping a boundary and being too invasive of his privacy, or can it be expected to share basic travel details with the people you live with? AITA?

HISTORICAL

OTHER

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GgFzOqxRxoREs0t7IAPGsL4ZtuI3WIta

ann1xc

AITA for not being comfortable about my girlfriend inviting her friend to a party that convinced her to rebound with a guy while we were on a break?

Hi all, ​ Over the summer, me and my (now current) girlfriend went on a break during this past summer. We both saw other people and came to the conclusion that what we have is awesome. Long story short, we're back together now and doing well! ​ Prior to our breakup, we had two years of history together. We were each other's first everything. During that break at the beginning of summer, we both decided we weren't happy with were we were due to immature 'young love' circumstances. I initiated the breakup and she immediately rebounded with some guy she didn't know, let's call him jake, that her friend kept pushing for. THIS isn't what I'm upset about -- I understand that we weren't exclusive so everyone was fair game. However, her friend that introduced her to him, let's call her Britney, was outspoken against everything I did and did not approve, threw me shade, etc. Even before this, her friend would be SUPER emotional, irrational, and treat her like shit which I didn't like -- and I think her friend caught onto that which is why she didn't like me, who knows. ​ Flash forward to tonight: we're out to dinner having some pizza when she tells me that she's inviting this friend to her party -- the same friend that pushed her to start dating Jake. She's the only mutual friend here, so I 100% associate her with that experience and as a place of weakness and bad memories for me. Honestly, not only do I not like this person because of her shittiness to my girlfriend, but she also symbolizes a time in my life where she was having relations with another guy which doesn't leave me with a good feeling in my stomach (I know, fair game but it still hurts me because I love her so much). I expressed my insecurities toward her at dinner and she got upset with me for being an asshole about it not letting go of the past. The thing is, every time I see Britney I'm still so reminded of it... ESPECIALLY given that she's the only mutual friend connected with Jake (and they sometimes see each other when hanging out on occasion). ​ AITA for being insecure about this? I wish it were easier to deal with but man...

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JjQPc301teW9APMsYgl0fYP7KeJlk4xi

b29xtw

AITA for not helping?

Mom lives rent-free with a friend of her family, she's not in *the* best financial situation but she's not struggling either, she could pay rent if she wanted to. I left home at 18 (am 23 now living with my bf of 6 years). She helps us a ton, she's a great person I just wish she wasn't so impulsive so she wouldn't be in this situation right now. She's not paying rent but the house owner is an old lady we all thought was sweet before (offered mom a place to live to get back on her feet and never said she expected anything back for it, just that she be there so she wasn't lonely). Turns out she's a bitch to put it lightly and whenever my mom leaves, unless it's to go to work or run this lady's errands, she complains a lot to anyone that will listen and then give my mom attitude. So mom can't visit her bf that lives a couple hours away on the weekends without the lady flipping out, so mom started asking me to stay at her house during the weekends so she would shut up about "always being alone" (which is false she has family and *some* friends that visit everyday and live a few blocks away). I don't like doing this but mom helps me out and so I do. Yesterday was this lady's birthday and she had a few people there. I went in, said "hi I'm staying the night with bf here in case you need anything, have a good night!" and she was nice enough but the moment I entered my mom's side of the house (they're connected) I heard her say that I'm basically a useless crybaby because I called my boyfriend ONCE to come pick me up because there was a huge frog in the room (it's a tiny 2 room house) and I couldn't stand it. Her friends said she was being harsh and that I seemed lovely but she said "no she's not that great, she'll just leave me alone and what if something happens to meeee". This isn't the first time she's talked shit about me. This isn't fair because we live 3km away and have gone to stay the night whenever my mom asks for like a year now even with rain, or in the cold, and even if we have to take a 20 minute detour because when it rains our bridge gets flooded... We always go and pretend we like her, talk to her and tell her to call us if she needs anything. We even offer to run her errands and stuff so why is she complaining just because one time I got freaked out and left? I figured "no one's paying me to babysit an ungreatful old hag" and so texted my mom that yesterday would be the last time I stayed there and she could figure something out herself for getting herself in that situation even though everyone told her not to. I already do my mom favors like take her cat to the vet each week even though it's 3km away from my house and just a few blocks away from hers', and my bf and I groom her dog for free in the summer, and we will fetch her stuff if she's feeling lazy to go out herself. I do anything I can for her so I feel like we're even and I shouldn't have to put up with this bs anymore.

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

0MwCa08kJ1066AUEguE7RLABhO9HvC6E

avzzyi

AITA? Family friend roped me into catering for four hours on my day off and keeps telling me to do stuff for the party. Is it rude to say no?

I've been staying at a family friend's house for the past year. Her daughter is throwing her a birthday party. She told everyone I'd be helping her without asking if I was busy or if I was interested in catering and handing out appetizers for four hours on my only day off in the midst of finals. She asked me yesterday to help the day after tomorrow and I felt obligated as I am living at their house and they have been kind to me but am annoyed she did not ask me earlier. Now she is telling me I have to do things, like go to the liquor store and help her pick up boxes of wine, go grocery shopping etc. AITA for thinking this is pretty rude? Is it rude to decline or not?

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

YbCwwd1or1tevzmUEwKKNRWE4KIsfHqi

9zj43z

AITA for flirting with my best friends crush?

My friend has liked this girl for a very long time, probably around 3 years. He does talk to her and hangout with her but only in big groups of friends. She’s texted me the other day and asked if I was seeing anyone, I’m not dating anyone at he moment so I told her no. She responded later that evening by telling me she thought I was pretty cute and the only reason she didn’t talk to me sooner was because she thought Me and another girl were a thing. We have been flirting back and forth for about a week but I feel a little bit guilty because I know he likes her a lot.

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

zeJmioh66nfv6bs5fjFIskx2m6cisjb6

b2qmci

AITA For being angry at a guy spending money I gave him to fix his car on drugs? ( I damaged the car)

So firstly guys I am genuinely unsure how to go about this situation. Last week me and a couple of friends met up at our friends house to chill and watch the boxing. As I am parking my car i scraped my friends car pretty badly causing some damage to the side. One of our other friends family member works in a garage so we sent him pictures to get a rough estimate of what it would be to get it fixed. I straight away bank transferred him the money and that was that, no problem. It is worth noting that this friend is almost always broke and borrowing money from people, as he has a pretty bad drug habit and is basically spending every penny he gets going out and getting wasted. Before I type the next paragraph I am fully aware that I owed him the money regardless for causing the damage, that's not my issue, basically he took the money and didn't get his car fixed and instead went on a night out that night (100% with the money I transferred him) and when the friend who got him the repair quote asked him if he wanted to take it to his family members garage he said he didn't really care about the damage. His car is pretty old and beat up and I understand that it does not matter whether its brand new or 20 years old but I just feel a bit pissed off that he didn't get the car repaired with the money. What are your guys thoughts?

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

OGsDU0ZcXWSNPAGYV2LKzyKoRBfWrqIo

ae3dm6

AITA for not giving my SO rides whenever they ask to and from their destinations?

My SO does not drive. They have been practicing and have gotten close to getting their license, but I have the been the driver our entire relationship. I feel as though this issue is partially my fault as I have a tendency to say yes when someone asks for a favour even if it inconveniences me. I worry that I may have spoiled my SO by agreeing to give them rides whenever they ask. A couple of days ago they asked if they could get a ride to a friends place at around 6. That’s around when I start to wind down after I clean up the house and shower but whatever a 25 minute ride isn’t the end of the world, so of course I say yes. At about 5 they asked if they could get a ride later that night. I hesitated to respond as it was obviously not the first thing I wanted to do in the middle of the night on a work night, but I said “sure.” SO - “Well nevermind you seem really upset about it.” “I’m not upset, I said I’ll give you the ride.” SO- “I just wouldn’t ask you for this if I wasn’t feeling so shitty the past few days.” “I know, I’ll give you a ride.” SO-“Well you don’t really seem up to it. I’m just going to bus home if you’re going to make me feel guilty about it. I just figured you’d be up anyways because you don’t ever go to bed that early.” “Ok. Well now I’m upset because I’m going to feel guilty no matter what decision I make at this point.” SO- “I’m just upset because you said yes but you clearly were pissed off about it.” Yes. It was painfully obvious that I was not thrilled about it. She should have expected at least the tinsiest bit of hesitation when she asked, which is really all that happened. I hesitated to say yes, and in my opinion I feel I had every right to be at least a TINY bit upset about doing it, but I still feel like an ass hole for not wanting to do it because she is feeling a bit under the weather and shouldn’t be doomed to an hour and a half long bus ride. Am I the asshole?

HISTORICAL

OTHER

WRONG

etIMJBQ3hrt9prbe4ACoryeUYG8E6wyI

a1xro1

AITA for wanting my stack of wood back in Minecaft?

I was playing with a couple of friends in Minecraft, and we started messing around and killing eachother. When I killed any of them, I made sure to get their items back. However, when I was killed, one of them made no effort to get my items back. I lost several items more than the stack of wood, but that is by far the most pain in the ass to get back. Now they are saying I'm being petty and that it's not a big deal and easy to get back. However, I hate gathering wood and think it a really boring part of the game, and think that if they don't mind the least they can do is to get it back. Am I the asshole?

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

WRONG

bb4MW9tJUbTGZ9svZamkWrSGXMGQIBFN

al2zyk

AITA for prioritizing myself?

Hi, so kind of a long post sorry ahead of time. I am a dad of a four year old and a one year old. I have been getting up at 5am Tuesday and Thursday to go workout and do martial arts for 2 hours. I get home about 8:30 but have to get ready and go to work so these are two mornings my wife does the kids solo, getting the older one ready for school and dropping him off a few blocks away at his preschool (usually my responsibility). On Saturday afternoon I do the kids solo for 5 hours while she writes. She is trying to monetize it (she is a stay at home mom) but it is her passion and she really enjoys doing it. On my end I don't care what she does those hours or if she ever makes a cent, it is nice for her to have a break and a little time alone. The problem that has arisen is that my early mornings have started to be disruptive to sleep for my 4 year old a little. The one year old we take turns sleeping with and the other person sleeps with the four year old. I sleep with the 4 year old before my workouts and he has started to wake up early and then wakes everyone up. He wakes up at some point after I have left the room and becomes scared. The one year old wakes up any time between 5-7 so it doesn't matter for her but it can be tough when she would like to sleep in but he wakes everyone up. My wife has said I should stop doing the early mornings and do stuff in the evening instead. I don't like that idea as I really want to be there for bed time (I used to travel a lot for work and missed a bunch first few years of older kids life) so it feels extra important to me to be there when I can. I have kind of a draining job so that also makes it difficult to go work out in the evening as I typically feel pretty worn out. I also don't really have any friends and I don't have other things I do outside the house (putter in garage shop when I can) so these two early mornings are literally the only times I am going and socializing and doing things outside of work stuff. Occasional work meetings for breakfast (I am a field employee and the three of us in the area sometimes meet with our manager) but I basically never go out and do stuff. These early mornings feel important to me as I like the people I work out with and it is a time that works for me. I would like to try and make these early mornings work, which I think we can do, but my wife wants me to stop and go work out in the evening instead which feels hard for me to do. The essence of the question I think is, is it fair to prioritize myself for these two mornings and argue we should try to make it work? I feel it is as we prioritize her every Saturday afternoon but it is impossible to be objective here. Thanks for any input and I will try to keep an eye on this post to answer any questions.

HISTORICAL

NOBODY

RIGHT

tAmRYlftBPZP3LmaN4JJs9cTbon6CH2f

b26647

AITA for flunking out on a "movie" date?

First time posting, if I do anything wrong, please tell me. So here's the story: I'm currently on exchange in a foreign country and speak that language just a little. Currently I am taking classes to become more fluent. I met this guy two weeks ago after we matched on Bumble and I met him once. After that it's been mainly texting since I'm usually busy with the workload of studying and he works in an office. We spoke about movies and I joked about Netflix and chill. I'm not fluent but sending laughing emojis repeatedly should be enough of an indication I was joking I think. He said he's at a friend's house which is nearby the neighborhood I live in (he only knows the neighborhood I live in, not exactly where I live). And since we talked about Netflix and Chill, he asked me if I wanted to "watch a movie" at my place and I laughed it off. Some time later he said he's in the neighborhood and he's waiting for me at a cafe. I started panicking and ignored his text. I don't have a lot of sexual experience, and the topic of sex makes me a bit anxious. Though I knew I should have said "no, I don't want to", I ended up coming up with an excuse that my mom called me because I was too much of a wussface to tell the truth. He still waited. He waited for an hour. Eventually I said my mom was upset and I couldn't come and he said that he was upset that he couldn't drop by. I told him I understood and apologised and that's been that. AITA for doing this?

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

RIGHT

amJR9UxYEtcHf5ovuvnAhgwaQMuoZzPW

9yixp1

AITA For telling people someone's "secrets"

A ex-friend of mine (17F) told me I'm a "snitch", untrustworthy and a jerk due to me doing this: 1. Telling a boy that she called cute that "some girl said he was cute" 2. "Asking someone if doing a certain course was good for college, after my ex-friend told me it wasn't 3. Telling someone (18M) who just got back in town after months of college who she always talks about (about, not too, because he's not that interested) and already had told him (and me but I forgot) that she liked him that "she had been talking about him" (eventually she told me that due to this they've been talking more). So yeah AITA? I didn't say her name at all besides in #3 but maybe I am idk, thanks.

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

RIGHT

xMtqoIyWecaYyj2dH3fLrPwxahQSwJUG

b1zzg8

AITA for asking an older man to move?

So I had a Redbox rental disc that was returning to the Redbox location. this location was in a Vons right inside the door opening and had two adjacent boxes. I was kind of in a hurry as I had to drive for an hour to make it to an engagement celebration. I went in but there was an older man with a cart fumbling around in a black bag. He was blocking one box(nearest to the door), and his cart was blocking the other. I normally would have gone to the box furthest from the door if the closer one had been occupied but I didnt think he was going to be using Redbox as he had no discs out to return and had been standing there for a fair amount of time without using the box. ​ M-Me ..............OM-older man ​ M:Excuse me, I need to use the box (holding up Redbox disc) ​ he looked so damn taken back and offended, it took all I had not to roll my eyes to the back of my head. he moved, albeit grudgingly and I was able to use the box. I began the return process when he very snidely says to me ​ OM: So I should be expected to move and not you huh? ​ M:excuse me? I didnt think moving a few steps would be so hard. ​ at this point he finally took out his Redbox disc and begins his own return process. he said some other things I don't quite remember as this happened about two weeks ago, but his general annoyance was that he had to move when he was planning on using Redbox. in my defense I didn't know he was going to use it, and he was blocking both boxes, and I asked him politely to move. he started raising his voice, going on about my entitlement. I was done with my business, it was a relativity few short minutes and just moved away from him. ​ M:i don't need to talk to you. ​ And promptly left. Should I have been more understanding, apologized, or asked him to move his cart from the second box so I could use it? He literally took 2/3 steps to his right so I could use Redbox. I feel like it was such a simple request and he was making a big deal out of it. If age matters, Im 24 and he looked to be around 50/60? I was also wearing a very flashy and colorful Indian dress (salwar chemise) if that makes any difference and he was wearing everyday clothes. so reddit, AITA? ​ short version. asked an older man to move so I could use Redbox, he got pissy cause I asked him to move. ​ ​

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

WRONG

iOcldK4jd4xZyuMyum2TPK1uFItpbH6u

a75lfm

WIBTA if I ask my family to stay out of my and my stepsister's dispute? And WIBTA if I refuse to cave in just to keep the peace?

Hello r/AmItheAsshole\-rs, Ihope this is the right place for my story. I don't want to reveal too many details because I'm certain friends, family and involved parties will recognize this situation. However, I am willing to answer any questions that I can if required. Now on to the story: there has been a huge blow-up in my life with respect to my family in the last 9 months. I feel my (32F) stepsister (28F) betrayed me, but my stepsister feels I am solely to blame for her actions, the blow-up and resultant falling-out. I agree to some of her accusations, but know that she is just as much if not more to blame for this situation. I know I haven't been the best person 100% of the time to my stepsister, and I am completely willing to apologize for any of my missteps and misdeeds, but the same needs to come from her if we are to ever settle this. Now, my stepsister has a history of being hot-headed, irrational and a bully. I know this, all of my friends know this, and even my family knows this too. My dad and stepmother want us to reconnect, make up and get along again so that we can have our usual family functions with everyone present. They've made this known and have made various attempts to get us to be friends with no success. My dad and stepmother are planning a holiday party that will be happening in the coming week with a bunch of friends and family coming together - some even coming from other countries. You all probably see where this is going. They want us to hurry up and reconcile and are putting pressure on us both to do this so that we will both be in attendance at this party and behave. I completely understand their desire here, but I feel they are not acting appropriately by trying to force us to make up like children. Now, I am willing to make some concessions, to apologize and to try to take the steps necessary to repair our relationship, but I absolutely need any apology that comes from her to be because she sees what she did was wrong and hurtful and actually wants apologize. I do not want her to do this because a) she wants to go to a big fun party, and/or b) because her stepmother pressured her into it and/or she just wants to keep the peace as well. I need to to understand that what she did was unacceptable. I lost all of my trust with my her, and I feel that an apology due to either of the reasons would be insincere, and I would not trust her again as a result. I mean, I could pretend to make things right without actually trusting her, but I don't want to act the rest of my life as though I do. I don't want to live a lie, because I know that might eventually come back to bite me in the ass. The family members are asking me to take whatever I can get and if I don't get an apology, that I should just apologize to her and and give her a pass (basically validate her terrible behavior) in order to keep the peace. So, this brings me to my questions: 1) WIBTA if I politely ask my dad and stepmother to kindly stay out of this and let us sort it out on our own in private and on our own terms? 2) WIBTA if I refuse to cave in just to keep the peace?

HYPOTHETICAL

EVERYBODY

WRONG

e4POnOmkwNqP2BYdjbxVzgvHk1XlLP5y

aff00z

AITA for hurting people after a few warnings?

I'm autistic, and get VERY uncomfortable when people annoy me by repeatedly touching me or doing something generally malicious and irritating (i.e. tripping me, knocking things from my hand, etc.) I can't stand it when someone's fucking with me. It overloads my senses and gives me lots of anxiety. So when they do something like poking me, I first ask them politely to stop. Poke, poke, poke. I ask them again, and explain why I want them to stop ("You're making me uncomfortable"). Poke, poke, poke. I tell them to stop. Poke, poke, poke. I say, "If you reach across the table to do that again, I will bring down my fist to your hand. I'm not joking, and it'll hurt. Stop, or I'll do that." Then they try again, and SLAM, I hit them. Cue the angry "What the fuck!?" and I just shrug and say, "I warned you." I've done this in different ways--I've hit people, kicked them, spat water at them, threw mud at them. None of this is ever unprovoked. I always warn people first and make sure that they hear me. I only do this when I know it's going to cause me lots of distress, and will only do this if people are doing something antagonistic (like, loud noises hurt my ears, but I'd never threaten to hit someone if they don't quiet down). Am I being childish? I don't think so, because I've asked them nicely and want to teach them that they can't just walk all over me. Also, I never go past what I threaten; I never do the thing multiple times, and I only do what I say I'm going to do, and I don't do this to kids, who wouldn't know better. Am I the asshole, or are the people who fuck with me? Do they have a right to complain that I did this?

HISTORICAL

OTHER

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OHwGfHfTSRuRYNIp6a55pZ94fdrV9SUc

b5op9m

AITA for wanting my friends to stop talking to my ex?

For context, my ex and I go to brother-sister schools and he is a year level above me. Our schools are only somewhat familiar with each other. When we were dating, my friend added us to a group chat with some people from both my and my ex's schools that I knew. My ex didn't know my schoolmates. We all got along well. I got closer with my schoolmates. My ex is popular and friendly, so he ended up getting DMs from everyone in the group chat. I was slightly jealous that he was getting all of that attention and I didn't get much in general, and that my friends were having more and better conversations with him than I was. In his defence, I do know quite a lot of his friends, who I met before we started dating. I stopped talking to a lot of his friends while we were dating because I didn't want him to be jealous or anything. We started talking again after he and I broke up. Later, I got super busy for a week, and kind of abandoned my social media without telling anyone. When I went back on my social media, I have two notifications: a DM from a classmate about homework, and the group chat I mentioned earlier. I read the messages through the group chat, as you do, and I see my ex had been active in it. But he hadn't bothered to check up on why I had gone for a week. I asked him later, in person, if he still liked me romantically. He said no, so we broke up. I still liked him a lot. After the breakup, I left our group chat out of anger. While that group chat is dead (I asked about it later), my ex and my friends are still pretty close. Closer than I am with them. My friend was in that group chat and shared some classes with me. She is a chatterbox, and often talks about how she hates her ex, who also lost romantic interest in her. She told me she doesn't know he still has friends, because to her he's literal garbage. She will describe in great detail how she wants to beat him up (she's a black belt in some martial art) and how "he's dead if he ever visits (our school)". She also talks about how she's still great friends with my ex. Apparently, they made a new group chat, with more of my friends, and not me. I asked her if I could be invited to it. She said "Sorry, we have a 'no exes' rule because we don't want drama." I wanted to join this new group chat because 1. I still want to be friends with my ex, 2. I don't have any social interaction beyond the old group chat, and 3. I don't want my ex to get with any of my friends, because I would get insanely jealous of them. It drives me nuts that my friends have this great new friend, who I still like, and exclude me from their social interactions now because of him. I haven't made an effort to try to get back into our social circle, because I really don't have the energy to be positive and happy now that my ex broke up with me. WIBTA if I asked my friends to stop talking to him?

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

RIGHT

HdCTYsskjPMJQKSR4pW3l47WtoqtgS8y

a9ugdr

AITA For telling my room mates that Im keeping you at arms distance for drinking my beer?

Backstory. Bunch of young guys living in a house. Im the "lightest" drinker of the house(people in my house are borderline alchoholics) I drink a 6 pack every 1 to 1 1/2 weeks. The other day someone drank the rest of my six pack no big deal. I asked each room mate who did it, no one wanted to own up to it. So I told them all Im keeping you at arms length/I dont really trust you. Now Im a fake tyrant? AITA? They moved out so im not really worried about it. But Im curious what you all think. Thanks! ​

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

RIGHT

qImSvkWbjMB8zLUrEBorSHGqQmxPUwmi

b7o5oi

AITA I think i ruined one of my best friends future relationship

Okay so how it started was my friend, H, came up to me and started to talk about this beautiful girl that he liked so much and wanted to date one day. I told i was going to help him and be his middle man, and so he kept getting closer, by sharing and talking and thier language, until the girl, lets call her GF, decided to take school shop duty. Then H was laying down and dreaming about her, then I went running towards him and just abit loudly said "You like her!",

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

WRONG

vm7gX45Uma7drzxORhe76QBVKDslt56C

azp0me

AITA for threatening an Autistic kid and not standing up for him?

So, I'm currently in highschool and last Friday, I threatened a kid that if he were to ever talk to me, or any of my friends again, I would kick his ass. But in order to get the full story, I need to go back two years. Back in early 2017/late 2016, one of my friends, let's call her Carter, came to me in tears. Carter claimed that some guy in our grade had sexually harassed her online. I was confused at first until she showed me text messages between her and said, guy. We'll call him Aiden for this story. Now at first, the text messages between the two were pretty mild; ranging from small talk to minor discussions, however the further I went down, the more I realized that Aiden was becoming more gross. Keep in mind that we're barely 13 at the time.At one point this creep had sent her a text describing how he would have sex with her. Immediately I told her to go to the principle, but it seems like they'd never done anything. At that point, I had no idea who Aiden was, and coincidentally, I would become friends with him next year. I felt quite bad for the dude. He has high functioning autism and ADHD, and I knew that he was having a hard time making friends. The dude talked ALOT. I felt bad. I saw how other kids would treat him unfairly. So when he would come over and talk to me, I would listen. Now, Aiden liked my friend, Leo. At one point, he asked Leo out. Now, Leo declined. Unfortunately Aiden wouldn't take no for an answer. He would constantly ask Leo out and flirt with him, despite Leo stating no and that it was making him uncomfortable. Eventually, Aiden would use me to try to get with Leo, asking me for his email address and number for school projects. Eventually, one afternoon, Leo talked to me about all the stuff Aiden did to him. And I was livid. Immediately I told Aiden to leave Leo alone and don't try to talk to him again. I also made sure to let him know that I was pissed at him. Regardless, though, I would still talk to him. However, I stopped talking to him altogether when he betrayed my trust again by telling the girl I was currently into, my best friend, that I liked her. And that leads me up to the present. Carter came up to me once again and asked me If I had remembered the whole text messaging debacle. When I replied yes, she showed me how Aiden started texting her, and just like last time, the texts were sensual. This time, however, my friend blocked him immediately as it started to do so. However, similar to Leo, Aiden wouldn't take no for an answer. He started to make excess social media accounts to talk to her and begged her to date him. The following day when he showed up to class, I told him not to talk to me or any of my friends ever again or I would beat his ass. He started crying that he was sorry, but I refused to listen. Now I notice he's getting picked on more often, but I refuse to rescue him. Anyways, AITA?

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

bHHOHp8aPetZgI6rUkx1AV5AQ9nBozwl

a9yyxm

AITA for being upset that my collectibles room was defiled?

Over Christmas my wife’s family came to stay. One member slept in my collectibles room after I asked that they stay in another room. Long story short, I’ve been cultivating this room for years now, it was an experience to enter, the smell, the aesthetic. My boy and I have spent many joyful hours playing in there. It was our room away from the world. Anyway. The family member slept in there for the night and now the room reeks. I’ve spent most of today trying to get rid of the smell to no avail. I feel physically ill when entering the room. I’m being told I’m over reacting and to just burn some intense or something in there. While I’m not throwing a tantrum about it, I’m not smiling about it either. Am I the asshole here for missing my rooms smell?

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

WRONG

IAsQCoUhVSL4QWoy29CWI8Ry9dOnRAqf

awac7p

AITA If I didn't get the joke while others did?

The other day I was on a gaming Discord and was chatting. So someone asked a question (forgot what it was) and then they said "Don't trust the person that was listed, he's a scammer". I told them no it's not. And then they called me autistic and called me an idiot because I "didn't know it was a joke". I seriously didn't know it was a joke. Then others within the Discord chat said that they saw it as a joke. When is it okay to make a hot take as a joke? I mean isn't calling someone a scammer considered serious? We in the gaming world often accuse people of being a scammer but rarely joke saying this person is a scammer. In general, when is it okay to make a joke when someone asked a serious question? Is it being an asshole by not realizing it was not a joke and telling people that they shouldn't joke about something serious? I thought jokes are meant to be formed if there's some context behind it. Or were they assholes for shitting on me because I didn't understand the joke? What is the verdict?

HISTORICAL

OTHER

RIGHT

8QdiDxIn75zvT9pDuQ0W4AMgkNSAvCBo

avkiti

AITA for asking my friend to say please after she tells me to pick up a Mentos?

This is my first time doing one of these posts, so I’ll try to make it quick. Also, I don’t want to paint my friend in a bad way, so I’ll try not to make it seem like she’s not the bad guy. My friend and I were in class today sitting next to each other and taking an English test that she didn’t study for. I notice she’s visibly shaking out of the corner of my eye and that she’s stressed, so I think that maybe she needs some comfort or something. I try to give her one of my Mentos to assure her it’ll be all right and she glares at me and slaps it out of my hand. Now, we’re in a small classroom, so the sound of the Mentos hitting the ground almost echos and I get glares (I’m the only one who brings food to the classroom, so if food spills or drops, I probably did it). I return to my test and try to ignore the situation but I still feel sort of guilty for what happened. A few minutes later, the test is over and my friend seems relaxed for some reason, probably knowing that since the test is over she can finally relax. The teacher starts a lecture about what we’re studying (Love’s Labour’s Lost, Since we’re studying Shakespeare) and everything is fine. Until... Friend (to me): Aren’t you going to pick up your damn M&M or whatever? Me: Hm? Friend: Your M&M, pick it up. I’m shaking a bit since I’m kind of scared of my friend (I’m fairly short and she’s tall to me, she’s roughhoused with me on several occasions) and don’t know what’ll happen if I don’t obey. I decide to stand my ground though. Me: Can you say please next time? Friend: Um... no? It’s your M&M, not mine, pick it up. Me: Please say please... you sound a bit rude. Friend: Pick. It. Up. She was showing signs of anger at this point, and I didn’t want to piss her off. So I do as I’m told and continue the rest of class. I feel like I’m an asshole for this but I don’t know. Should I apologize for trying to make her say please?

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WnUlGPXwZqmQ6nKk4hPmNSf8GaxqZYAP

b5c9lf

AITA for not wanting to celebrate my birthday anymore

My 31st birthday was Saturday. My family stopped celebrating birthdays when I was in elementary school; we would receive a gift and be told happy birthday but there was no party or cake or anything like that. So I have tried to work on my birthday every year since I turned 14. I have been married for 7 years and my husband and his family celebrate birthdays like normal people. I have never asked to do anything for my birthday or even ask for a gift but they always get me gifts and usually want to go for dinner if we can. This year I asked to go to lunch and the movies with my husband. I also worked up the courage to finally ask for a couple things that I've been wanting. My husband decided we were going to celebrate our anniversary on my birthday (he had to work on our anniversary weekend). I decided it wasn't that big of a deal and went with it. My birthday started nice but the further the day went the more depressed I got. My mom wished me a happy birthday when I called her the day before my birthday so she wouldn't have to call me on my birthday. One of my sisters posted a video of her kids saying happy birthday on Facebook but didn't call or text me. My oldest sister never contacted me and the rest of my family didn't either (even though my cousin liked my sister's Facebook post). I asked my husband if he got me anything and he responded "you said you didn't want anything" (I specifically asked him for a couple things). When we got home my MIL gave my an envelope. I started getting a little excited but when I opened it it was just a couple pictures for my son to color. I cried myself to sleep the past 2 nights and I have felt so depressed. I started getting angry and lashing out at my husband. I feel like my birth is nothing to celebrate. I told him today that I don't want to celebrate mother's day, I don't want any gifts on Christmas, valentine's day, or our anniversary, and I don't ever want anybody to acknowledge my birthday ever again. I can't be disappointed if I know I'm not getting anything and I don't celebrate. He seems mad at me and now I feel like I'm overreacting but I still want to cry whenever I think about it. AITA here?

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veVlvRs2mpTpKrJS65yeSlF02RTRsUSQ

afx545

AITA for wanting to move my wedding date?

I’m sure these types of problems are common so I’ll try to keep it short. A few months ago I proposed, and my Fiancée and her mother both wanted a specific family member who is in the clergy of our shared religion to perform the ceremony. I was ambivalent about the idea but kept that to myself and said that’s great. We contact him and let him know are date and he says no, that doesn’t work, in fact that whole month doesn’t work try December (the following month). We pick a date in December and confirm with him. Great! Two weeks later, her mom lets us know he can’t do that date either, but can do the following week. Ok, we can do that, getting a little close to Christmas but that’s fine. Two months later we get another call from her mom, he can’t do our second date but can do ____ date in November. She says she’s already talked to the church and venue and we just have to say yes. I don’t get a chance to talk to my Fiancée without her mom on speakerphone before it is agreed that we will move to the November date. It’s moved, venue is confirmed as is the church, and we are getting quotes from vendors as I type this (no deposits yet). Here’s the twist. After moving the date my Fiancée informed me we are 1 week after my old roommates wedding. Very close friend from college with a guest list overlap of ~15 people. Roommate won’t be able to come if we do this new date, some of our out of state guests will for sure not come (as in have already told us). I feel like we’re hurting our wedding with this new date to accommodate an officiant I have never met and will probably never see again after this wedding. I talked to my Fiancée and we agreed that despite wanting her relative to perform the ceremony it was coming at too great an expense to ourselves and other guests, so we called her mom and said “let’s look at moving the date to the original planned date.” Mom is upset but says “ok I’ll talk to venues.” Later that night I get a text from my Fiancée saying her parents decided it was too important to them for him to be the officiant so we cannot move the date. They are providing a significant (read majority) contribution to the wedding and (reasonably IMO) feel they can make this call, though they did not explicitly mention it. I’m very upset by this. My close friend is guaranteed to miss my wedding and if we like we are being rude to them by bumping against their date. Additionally having somebody else tell me when my wedding is going to be 4 times without any agency is frustrating. AITA for being upset? WIBTA if I press the issue? Would it be worth it to push back hard against my future in laws?

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G5yPOXUzFz9wTBA3I5tResFgcIX712Mr

apdkce

AITA for eating someone else's ice cream on my birthday?

I turned 17 a few days ago and my grandmother bought us (me and my brothers) ice cream to celebrate. Someone else ate mine so I ate what was left and apparently it was supposed to be for my younger brother. So my dad yelled at me. Three times. AITA?

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krhh82UYWXTb2V1cUzeJbtiW6MOr0N3L

b0cht1

AITA is it okay for me to want attention when i am sick

A couple weeks ago, me and my SO were having a stressful time, work troubles and low funds and other life stuff. He said he needed space which i understand and gave him, not without feeling a little anxious about it as it was pretty far out of character to not sleep together for a week. I got sicker than i have been in YEARS, high fever for like 3 days, out of work for a week. I was feeling awful and he hadn't even really acknowledged I was sick. The whole time, he insisted on sleeping in the other room, which made me feel really sad as all I wanted was to curl up near him and get some lovin, even just a hand on my arm or whatever. On night 2 of the sickness i was dying, up at 4am just writhing around and crying from fever aches, and went into his room and lay down next to him. This made him mad. He said I had breached a major boundary by entering his space after he said he wanted to sleep alone, and that it was a big deal, i had done something very wrong. I went back to my room feeling utterly alone and really afraid about our relationship. Dealt with the rest of the sickness totally on my own. He then tells me a few weeks later that he had considered breaking up with me during all of this, but we are fine now and he still loves me, but upholds that what I did was wrong, despite context. Am I bad for doing this? Is this normal? I would never want to consciously take up more space than is fair in someone's life, and i feel a small but significant degree less secure in this partnership after seeing the level of empathy in his response to that situation and subsequent candidness.

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uJpXkWWCu9pu6N7Pyxo5BAXjGGOJQ7Ob

a8aa10

AITA for kicking a girl's water bottle into her face because she bullied me?

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bQxbHiq6JqImK66KE4Sf56eeHrqUFmBg

a5ebe5

AITA for debating breaking up with my bf because his health problems get in the way of our relationship?

My bf constantly cancels plans with me because he has intestinal problems, migraines and depression. It really bothers me and it feels like I put my life on hold for him and get nothing in return. I feel guilty for getting angry, but it’s literally once or more every single week. I love him and all, but it’s just tough. Thanks for your honest opinion.

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TyBKVLOiIxPYMBSeunMo9ZjZZNyjwSlK

b1qcrx

AITA for choosing my friend over my SO to be a business partner?

I'd like to preface this with our relationship - we've been together 3 years, two of which we've been living together. We're pretty serious about marriage but not about the when. Okay so I had decided to finally quit my job and start a company, but the law required a minimum of two partners to do that. Honestly I was experiencing a rush that my dream is finally going to be true... I asked my SO if he'd like to join my as the second partner, and he agreed. Now my so and I have very different skills, and he's not very good at making sound financial decisions or saving up. I had not realized that beforehand. Also halfway into the process I realized he really did not have anything to bring to the table when it came to running a business, and he would essentially have been a placeholder instead of someone who can function as a business partner. A week of contemplation later I decided that I was going to choose my college mate that I'm close friends with and he has experience in the industry as well. But when I told my so the reasons I'm having second thoughts he flipped. We had an argument where he blamed me for not trusting him, that I raised his expectations by asking him, and denied that he makes bad financial decisions. Then proceeded to pitch me the ways in which he would've been helpful (they were not convincing or anything that would *add* to my work instead of replacing me) Things cooled down a bit this morning but now he's acting colder. Although I still stand by my point and I have the right to reconsider. TL;DR - asked my boyfriend to by my business partner, then changed my mind because he wouldn't be able to contribute.

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HH6KY6p9T9VNyE2Swa9PdWvI7dqaZ9Wt

a3vkxw

AITA for asking my roommate to stop talking to his friends over his headset?

I am currently in a state university. I live in a 6 person suite with three rooms, 2 people per room. It is a small room, no bigger than 15’ by 15’. I like my roommate, he is a good guy. He has his quirks but overall I have few problems with him. Here is my dilemma. I like having a quiet room. I hate hearing my roommate constantly talking, or any person for that matter. I stick to myself for the most part, I have headphones in all day long. I already asked him to stop bringing over his girlfriend everyday. I told him it would be fine to have her over once in a while, but even if she is a great person, which she is (and I expressed that), I have no interest in overhearing a constant conversation all the time. My current dilemma is him talking with his friends over Xbox chat. He does not know how to talk quietly. He is constantly screaming/ talking way too loudly for me to enjoy. My question for you all is- Am I an asshole for asking my roommate to stop loudly talking/screaming over his Xbox chat? Am I depriving him of having fun? Please let me know, thank you guys so much. This community is awesome! I love the idea of it.

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rsk1g2A7XiIdtDynpZrIM06uQNL4a1De

an2sbd

AITA for not helping a friend while I was drunk

Hey guys, this is my first time using this thread, so here goes nothing. ​ This past Friday night, my suitemates (college suite), a few friends and I were having a great time drinking and playing a bunch of different card games. It was overall a pretty good night. Then the friend I'm the closest to just gets up and leaves randomly. I don't think anything of it, and then my two other friends got up and followed her to her room. I just sit there, continuing to play cards and talk with two others. ​ The three of them come back and I notice the girl next to me is crying, but she brushes it off and won't tell me what happened. So, being intoxicated and not wanting to push, I obliged and left the situation alone. Then my close friend, from across the room, in her intoxicated state starts giggling super oddly, then I start laughing along with her. That's when she smiles stupidly big at me, and just flipped her arm over to show me she had cut herself. ​ I'd been very reserved in my history with a lot of my suitemates and people I've met at college, because, I don't see me continuing a friendship with any after graduation. We just live together. But, I do have a history where someone has killed themselves with my name in the suicide note and a history that involved abusive ex's cutting themselves and screaming it was my fault. ​ In my intoxicated state, I was about to blow up at her. She means the world to me, and she's really the only one I care about in the whole suite, but I couldn't say what my brain was going to right then and there, it would have been detrimental. So, I got up and left for maybe 5 minutes, just out into the lobby to air out my head. ​ When I came back, she had barricaded herself in her room and was talking to one of our friends, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her. But everyone else took this as their chance to tag-team me and do an intervention on me saying how they're "always there if I need someone," which is just not a conversation I take kindly to, even when sober. This situation was about my friend, not me, and yet here they were saying I've got a flawed personality and too much of a "fight or flight" personality and I'm also very defensive in conversations. They drilled me for almost an hour trying to get me to open up, the entire time I'm intoxicated and realistically just trying to not cry. Long story short, I ended up doing my best in an intoxicated state to tell the people intervening me that they wouldn't be able to do anything, and if I haven't opened up to them in these past 6 months, chances were I wasn't going to at all. I learned the type of people to trust, and I know they talk shit behind people's backs. ​ The ENTIRE next day, everyone in my suite refused to say a word to me. Okay, cool. We're playing that game. ​ Sunday, I bit the bullet and messaged one of my suitemates, basically telling her, "I've asked for help from you before, and you fucked it up because you told me it was my fault I got sexually assaulted. I learned to not talk to you about my issues." This in turn, got my other suitemate to message me, after I apologized for not being there for her, stating that I'm selfish and caught up in my own way. ​ I apologized to her, saying I realistically needed to air my head before I said something regrettable, since people cutting themselves and flaunting it to me does not stir a positive "you're gorgeous why are you doing that?" reaction; I get hostile. She blatantly told me, "I don't need an explanation, I've helped you a shit ton and when I needed you, you literally ran away." Even when I told her I was ready to talk when I came back in. We are now on the morning of day 3 of no one talking to me because I'm apparently the bad egg in the suite. ​ Am I the asshole in the situation?

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jqTAbQF0yysJvZbZ7B0jFpHHx4A2oE6k

ar56u4

AITA for getting upset with my gf for not picking up the phone?

My girlfriend and I sometimes talk to each other during her 1hr lunch break (no more than 10min and not everyday). Lately she hasn't be answering saying that she is tired of being on the phone since she has to call parents. For Vday I told her all I want is a phone call from her but she gave me the same reason. She messaged me saying sorry I been busy. No other Vday gift. Today she was off so I called her hoping she would answer since she's not working and was rested. Again no answer. Hours later I get a message "I am sorry" and sends me pictures of things she likes online but no questions no call back no reason. AMTA for getting upset with her?

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K8GzV3VMxSH82FzcJ7HTQu4HPgcTp67X

a3rekz

AITA for using my fog lights in the fog?

This happened a couple of nights ago but my anxiety is making me fixate on it. I was driving home from work at night and it was pretty foggy out so I turned on my fog lights. (Side note: I've probably only used them twice since getting my car, and I did see other vehicle also using theirs.) Eventually, while driving down some poorly lit back roads I catch up to a car going about 15 mph on 35 mph roads. I end up coasting behind them and using my brakes often, but I still maintained at least one car's distance between us. Also, they had been going that slow before I even got behind them. It was frustrating being stuck going slower than I wanted, but I figured they were just driving the speed they felt comfortable with considering the dense fog. After driving behind them for about 3 blocks they throw on their hazards. Now I'm thinking maybe something is wrong with their car? Except they turn them back off again after a few seconds. Finally, we both arrive at a light and wait to turn left onto a wider road. After turning into the inner lane of this wider road I wait about 10 seconds for them to move into the slower lane because they are still only going about 20 (this new road is 55). They didn't move so I gave up, signalled, and went around them. As I am getting up to the speed limit, they start accelerating to match my speed. The passenger then sticks his arm out the the window and flips me off. I ignored them figuring they were just dumb teenagers, but after I passed them they got behind me and turned their high beams on nearly the whole way to my turn off. It wasn't until later that night that I wondered if they thought my fog lights were my high beams. So AITA for not turning my fog lights off around another car? Or did they have irrational road rage?

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6nE0GUctR0R2UFfc17nAUEwZkqOyCTdH

akj6fc

AITA for not doing the homework?

This might be a bit of a long post but I need to give some backstory. So sorry ahead of time! Im currently a senior in college, this is my last semester actually. I also live in Vermont, which has recently been hit with snow, accompanied by minor flooding. I walk everywhere, so this has not been fun. In fact, it's been down right miserable. So when it started snowing today I was like 'oh no'. And it was snowing pretty hard, so I called into work (I work at my school's library). No big deal, they put my shifts up for grabs and I got to stay home. Then I remembered I have homework due tomorrow. Now the homework for this class is kinda weird. The professor puts these books on reserve at the library, and we have to read them in the library and send her an email with 1-2 sentences about each one of them. They're picture books, so it's usually okay. So I sent my professor this email "Hi Professor, I'm sorry to say that I couldn't do the readings for Monday. There was some snow today and since I have to walk everywhere it quickly became hazardous. I'll have them done asap, but I understand that I won't get credit for them Thanks," I got this response: "Hi _____, the class isn't until 11 and the library is open in the evening, so I'm not sure why the snow is bothering you more than your peers. I hope you do have a chance to look at them before class tomorrow because we will be discussing them. " And I'm like...really angry about the whole thing. Why did she need to write an email like that? It just feels like she's judging me without knowing about my situation I'm tempted to write "thank you for being understanding" and leaving it at that. Am I overreacting? AITA?

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mnViB09WGB7Rt1zPeA4kLiOtRO1nwoT4

asf5df

AITA for wanting the windows closed

My husband and I have a healthy, happy marriage, but we disagree on this. Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable. We have 2 children. The 3 year old is in her own room, the baby co-sleeps with us. A decision we both agree on, especially since we don't have another available room. It is Summer and has been hot. I am one of those people that gets eaten alive by mosquitos, and now my baby is too. My husband never gets bitten. He can't understand why I will be chasing a mosquito around the room at 2 in the morning, he can't relate. I put peaceful sleep on myself and my baby. We have 2 strong fans angled at us, but my husband insists we sleep with the windows open. Every night it ends in myself and my baby being eaten and we get ridiculously interrupted sleep. She has big red bites on her that you can see during the day. He thinks I am being unfair by expecting the windows to be closed since it's hot, I think he is selfish for wanting them open and like I said, we have 2 strong fans on to keep it breezy. We also sleep with the bedroom door open so that we can hear my oldest. AITA for wanting the windows closed?

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EVERYBODY

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oBReHS1ZWITHzctuvsw8dy7x4Oq0OqGP

a9wx5g

AITA For Yelling At My Parents

I currently live with my parents. My mom as an aggressive dog, Bella. We've had Bella for a few years, and she has become very territorial of my mom. She barks any time she hears any noise when my mom is sleeping, growls if anyone gets near her any time of day, and she bites people. She bites children, she bites animals, she bites family. My mom does not care. We have told her on multiple occasions that she needs to train the dog or get rid of it, and she has ignored us for years. About two or three months ago Bella bit my dad and drew blood. My dad lost his shit and told my mom that she either needed to train the dog or put it down. She agreed to train it (she has made no effort to train the dog, but that's for later). My dad said "if she bites *anyone else* she's gone. I don't care what you have to say". Fast forward to today, I was taking my girlfriend's service dog, Pants, outside to go potty. Pants is a [5 month old samoyed](https://imgur.com/r6k3pr3), extremely well behaved, loves everything and everyone. He wants pets from people he meets and to play with any animals he meets. We walk past my mom to go outside, and Bella attacks Pants. This is the second time she's done so this week. At a family Christmas party, she bit Pants AND ME, but I didn't make a fuss because it was Christmas and I knew my mom wouldn't listen, all I would accomplish was ruining the mood. This time, my mom, my dad, and my girlfriend all saw it and heard Pants yelp. I tell my mom that Bella needs to go *now*. I'm angry, upset, pissed. She starts arguing with me and refuses to listen. She even claims her dog isn't dangerous, despite literally watching her dog attack mine 5 seconds ago. After yelling at her for 5 minutes and realizing i'm yelling at a brick wall, i go to my dad in the next room and ask him about the ultimatum he gave a few months ago. He says "i'm staying out of it" and some other stuff to the effect of me being disrespectful. Sure, i probably was, but her dog attacked mine and she didn't give a fuck. I feel like i had a right to be angry. Especially since Pants is a service animal, and we absolutely CANNOT have him developing aggressive tendencies, or being scared of other dogs. I argued with my dad for 5 minutes or so, me focusing on the fact that Bella bit my dog and she needs to go, and my dad bringing up all this random shit about me being disrespectful, raising my voice, the huge burden we've been on the family (they own the house, we have a room downstairs. We buy our own food, keep the downstairs clean, don't make a ton of noise, etc. I asked them if it was okay if my girlfriend moved in and they were thrilled at the prospect. I asked them before we bought Pants and they said they were okay with it.), even including the time i asked him if he could turn down the thermostat when it was 78 downstairs. I told my dad it is against the law to own a dangerous animal. He said he didn't care. Bella was here before Pants. Like ignoring the fact that i've been here 20 years and she's bitten me too, the law doesn't give a fuck how long Bella has been here. I asked him if the house rules superseded the law. He said yes. I said he couldn't be reasoned with and walked away to take Pants outside to pee. He followed me out and said I have til the end of the week to get out of his house. He does this any time I disagree with him, and both my mom, sister, and girlfriend noticed the pattern. This isn't even the first time he's threatened to kick me out in the past 6 months. Last time it was over dish towels (half of which I BOUGHT). He's been doing this since I was like 12. So, am I the asshole? I feel like I'm going crazy because they're *adamant* that I'm the one in the wrong. It seems cut and dry to me. Her dog bit me and my dog. Even without my dad's ultimatum, she should have been gone ages ago when she bit a neighborhood kid. They're lucky I didn't call the cops the moment she bit my dog and have animal control take her away. But they're acting like I'm the bad guy and nothing the dog does matters because I raised my voice and was pissed that my dog was hurt.

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DAB7iFiEF06xfybP814X3NJfUJlw0DdF

awcbbh

AITA for being mad at my friends for not adding me to their group chat?

First, let me set the scene: I am now a senior in high school, however, I had to move with my family to a new school in a new town starting my senior year. Coming into this year, I knew I didn't want it to be something I just got out of the way before heading to college, i wanted it to be a year I cherished. I did quickly find a group of people to hang out with so I never had the "sitting alone in the lunchroom" experience and this group was never disgruntled or mad about me tagging along. One last bit of necessary information was that our calculus teacher awarded extra points for those who got together for calculus study groups outside of class and after seeing the master sheet for the 2nd Trimester, which had a record of everyone's study groups, I saw that my space was completely blank while my friends had at least 5 sessions. I then learned that they had a group chat for the "Honors Squad" where they shared notes and stuff like that. No big deal, just add me in. However, I'm an android user. Citing the fact that they wouldn't be able to keep the name of their iMessage group, they didn't add me and just told me to text them if I felt I needed notes. Being a new student, I'm a bit paranoid. So when I'm not in this group chat, I don't know what I'm missing out on. I mull over this situation by myself and with my parents and we figure out that I could use one of our old iPads as a texting device so that my friends can keep using iMessage groups. I just got added to the group today, but I voiced my frustrations to my friends about having to go through the trouble of getting an Apple device just so that I could communicate with them. Their response "Ah well, deal with it." That attitude made me feel really insulted. I was getting left out of stuff (or maybe not, I don't know, because I'm not being communicated with) just because they can't name their group chat. They refused to use third-party messaging software and left it up to me earn my way into their group chat. In my discussion with them earlier today, they straight up told me to "just buy an iPhone" or "If you were a better friend, we'd add you." These comments are probably jokes, but one thing that wasn't a joke was that they were unwilling to add me until I owned an Apple device. Three things to add just for fairness sake: * There are a couple more android users in our grade (it's a small grade) and they are also getting left out, so it doesn't seem like personal thing * I have no idea what kind of stuff I'm missing out on. It could just be nothing. This frustration is mostly fueled by lack of communication and paranoia especially regarding those calculus study groups I mentioned earlier. * I have still been invited to things. I got invited to participate in their Secret Santa, I got invited to a Superbowl party, and I got invited to a birthday party. So it's not like I'm being left out of everything.

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aGpyGnvQIrEteIHzP5QLpjdzyzIl8RDG

asxd6n

AITA for getting upset at some peoplw today?

I'm in an art class at school, and at my table I sit with three people who I'll call Bob, Sam, and Kyle. Bob is a senior, sam is a sophomore, and Kyle is a freshman. I'm a junior. I feel like I get picked on a lot by all three of them. They say really mean things about me a lot. I've tried talking about it to them but they just say "we're joking dude relax" and "you insult us so why can't we insult you". Kyle in particular messes with me a lot. He likes scaring me while I'm distracted and he's called me a bunch of names. Bob messes with me sometimes. He'll block somewhere I need to go because he's much taller than I am, or bump into my on purpose. Sam doesn't bother me too much but he's said a couple things I didn't like very much. I've been annoyed by it for a while now and today I lost my cool and I said some stuff I didn't mean at Kyle because I hate being treated so poorly by them and now I feel like an asshole.

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Q0yrey8WuoJc7pUjV7GC0XZrF7Q1FiTZ

az5eq6

WIBTA if I didnt tell my brothers its my birthday

Every year for our birthdays my brothers and I have been going out to eat for each others birthdays. I don't live with my family for reasons. Anyways I call my brother and tell them what time do they want to go out. Then they tell me they don't feel like going out today. I always remember theirs and remember to tell them each and every year. I really do love my siblings but it hurts when they forgot they have another sibling. WIBTA if I don't tell them that it's my birthday and just let them realize it on their own?

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p0BamHrFRcDSY34uUwHBLQwKlZMN4VDn

ato2pf

AITA for voicing concerns about my roommate/close friend’s relationship?

Sorry for any formatting, I’m on mobile and this is my first time posting here, please bare with me. So like two months ago, my (F,21) close friend/roommate (F,21) got out of a 5 year relationship that was really abusive. This was a relationship that had started as a rebound after another abusive relationship. They had been together since high school and to be quite honest, our friend group had never really liked the guy (M,21-22). There was a lot of pain and emotional nights where our tight group of friends would be up talking with my roommate and helping her through all of the emotions she has been experiencing. She spent weeks sobbing on the couch and just working through the pain she had been experiencing. When my roommate started to pick herself up and was able to start doing more normal things, she agreed with another close friend (F,21) of ours that she would spend time one herself; she would focus on discovering herself and her life without an SO in the picture. Then like a week after this discussion, a couple of not so close friends (both F,21) had helped my roommate create a tinder account. We had all previously agreed that it would not be best to encourage any rebounding and that it wouldn’t end well for her to start dating so soon because she was not in a fully stable place and had not fully processed her 5 year relationship. Anyway she got in contact with some random guy (M,22? Not quite sure) and they started seeing one another. I started noticing that I didn’t see her as often as she was out and about with this guy. If we wanted to make plans she had to ask this new guy, who she had been only dating for a few weeks. I began to recognize that she was falling back into a pattern. I voiced all these problems to our friend group and we decided to confront her. I began the conversation after discussing her birthday plans, and she stated that she felt as though it was strictly casual and then my other friend started to chime in and agree with me. We told her that we recognized that she is an adult that can make her own decisions, we just were recognizing similarities between this new guy and her ex. We don’t want her to fall back into another abusive relationship. My roommate promptly left. My roommate sent us all a text stating that she felt really attacked and needed space. Then on her birthday, my roommate decided to invite boy, the people who didn’t say anything at our meeting, and the people who helped make her tinder. My friend and I were really hurt as we found this out through one of the friends that was going. We’ve given her space, have heard various things through the people that are still talking to both “parties”, but now even those people aren’t talk to us anymore. We recognize that my roommate is a grown adult who can make her own decisions, we just want to get her the right help because we’ve worked so hard to build her back up. AITA for bringing this up?

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jB0huh2e0hAKAvzpcWdtCOkulIcPfrTj

at23hg

WIBTA to ask my friends for money when they request I edit their essays?

This thought spawned in my head after a conversation with some of my friends. I'm a first year English Education major with a decently heavy courseload that involves research and a pretty hefty amount of reading assignments (at least, hefty for a first year student). Even so, I dislike seeing other people struggle through shit unnecessarily, especially when I feel that I could be of help and *especially* especially when college can be so expensive and taxing on students. So, whenever a friend is troubled by a writing assignment which they find difficult, I offer my help. Whether they need someone to bounce ideas off of or just someone to give it a look over for editing and citation issues, I always offer and I never ask for a cent, since it's not like I'm writing these people's essays for them. I don't feel special for doing so, I just always felt like I should and that I gain a sense of enjoyment from being useful. When my friends heard about this, they were legitimately shocked. Not towards my enjoyment of English or my Messiah complex (which I will admit to having slightly), but moreso towards the fact that I'm not charging these people, my friends, to edit for them. In return, that shocked me. I didn't think that I would be made out to be a pushover or anything just for editing some five-page papers. It was fairly easy work to me, after all. I'd legitimately feel like a jerk to ask these people for money since they support me in other ways that aren't as tangible as a dollar and are not exactly flush with cash themselves. What do you guys think? I'm definitely putting in more time than I have to for people other than myself, but would it really be moral to sell my skills to fellow students and friends who are also struggling with the high tuition of college? I would fear that my reputation would take a hit for doing so and that I would be viewed as selfish.

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BxDxLhDmLdGDkPzv1qcFvrcQGRwbwusI

amxksb

AITA for being upset that my older sister is staying with my boyfriend and I over valentines weekend?

Throwaway for reasons. Also on mobile, so sorry. For some background, my older sister and boyfriend are best friends and have been for years. My older sisters boyfriend is a camper, and is going away for Valentines/Family Day weekend. My boyfriend and I live with my In Laws, who are also away this weekend. I had planned to surprise bf by cooking dinner this weekend after work, wear some lingerie, and just hangout with him for the Valentine’s portion of the weekend. Without checking with me first, Sister basically says that she’s going to come stay with us for the whole weekend, as her bf is away. I thought she was kidding. Nope, apparently BF told her it was fine. Now, I know this could be partially my fault because I didn’t tell BF my plan, but it would’ve been nice to be asked as opposed to sister just imposing on me. The other thing to note, is BF and I live less than 5 minutes away from sister. Why she couldn’t come over during the day while I am working and then leave in the evenings is beyond me. I’m feeling very conflicted because I don’t want to make sister feel bad, but I also wanted to wear some cute lingerie and have fun sexy times with BF in our empty home. AITA, Reddit?

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IvrpoH35R935c3BgeBVS9b6sLojc0g6k

asg2lj

AITA for exposing my Mom as a racist bigot to all of her liberal dinner guests?

A bit of background: My Mom is 100% Navajo and a hardcore neo-liberal Democrat. I am liberal Democrat which means we don't see eye to eye politically as she endorses socialism and I do not for obvious reasons. She pretends to be a liberal (or is just to militantly ignorant to know the difference) and speaks like she represents every liberal in the world even though she espouses zero liberal values. Example: I am bisexual and she says she is accepting of it but I was never allowed to bring a boyfriend home. She also says she hates Trump because he is racist but has stated that she wants all white people to die because they are all racist and I was forbidden from dating white people even though I have very pale skin because my Dad is Jewish (long story behind that). Basically she is a racist bigot who thinks that everyone who doesn't hate Trump is a racist bigot. Last night she had invited several of her liberal friends from the tribe over for dinner and my wife and I were there and someone brought up politics and the conversation went to the national emergency and border wall funding and my mom quickly went into "Trump is a Nazi" mode. It was obvious that they were starting to agree with her on stuff that she was straight making up with info pulled directly from her ass so every time she or anyone would say an example of why Trump is racist I or my wife would pull out proof that those examples were either lies or words taken out of context. As the conversation went on I could see that the dinner guests were believing the truth over my mom's rambling nonsense and my mom became enraged and screamed at me, "Maybe if you cared about your own people more than having sex with men you would see that Trump and his followers are the problem and that you are supporting the white devils!!!" The guests gave an audible gasp and politely excused themselves pretty quickly and she blamed me for ruining everything. I asked if I should be sorry for telling the truth and she said, "Damn right you should! If we have to lie to save ourselves from white people then you lie your ass off and NEVER disrespect me in the process!". She almost slapped me and my wife made me leave before I got angry. AITA for exposing her as a lying racist bigot to her liberal friends who she was trying to brainwash with easily proven lies or did I do the right thing by defending white people from democratic racism and lgbtq people from democratic bigotry?

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85ZPpMZ5gXh9pDLt13TFp7rnSR2vZooA

ag6ago

AITA if I am in a relationship and don't want to anymore but I don't really know the reason?

So first thing, this is my first post on reddit, made the account specifically to get this advice Second, this is a kinda long story i guess, so bare with me please. Okay so me (18F) and my bf (18M) have been together for over 2 months approximately, but we've known eachother since 2015-2016, worth to mention, it was a cyberfriendship, and we haven't met in person yet, we've planned it but unfortunately we haven't been able to make it. So here's the thing, our relationship hasn't been the best, when I met him (Dec 2015) he had long time relationship with his ex-gf, as well as me, i was in a 4 month relationship with an ex-gf, and when she dumped me, i became in love with him, because he always was so nice to me and was there for me always; he was too nice to the point where his "niceness" could be interpreted as flirting, so he kinda led me on. Time passes, his relationship with his ex-gf is terrible, I advise he breaks up with her (the situation was getting really toxic) but he doesn't, he says he'll give her another chance, and that broke my heart, but i still told him that of he was happy with his decision, so was I. Then we distanced a bit, we didnt talk as often, barely even spoke. This became a cycle, we talked, his relationship peaked, i advised, he wouldnt do it, we distanced, and so on. Fast forward to 2018, they have already broken up, finally. I was totally over him, i was just starting college, the only thing i felt for him was friendship, we started talking again, he told me about his break up, i consoled him, we became friends again. Until one day, we had a discussion over a very serious topic for me (he was making fun of a suicide victim) and I said it wasnt okay, i also said some other stuff that i think kinda "hurt" him, but they were things like "you don't know what you're saying, is very harmful, not everyone is as privileged as you and depression and mental disorders are not conditional (he said that only people that suffer of hunger, poverty, etc can be depressed) and i just couldn't take it, we fought, he said he was sorry, and that he was really sensitive bc of his breakup, but i couldnt take it, i dont really remember if i said anything harmful but i dont think so, i stopped talking to him. 2 months or more pass, i find out that he's streaming on his yt channel, decide to join in, and of course he's mad, hes super edgy towards me but i decide to apologise, he accepts, we're friends again. About a month passes, we've become very close and felt "things" for eachother, but here's the thing, i was not in love with him. I felt a lot of love and appreciation for him, but i wasnt in love. We entered in a relationship, a "serious" one, he has sent me gifts and all, and over all this time, ive had very weird and mixed feelings. Sometimes i feel like i love him very deeply, sometimes i feel that i dont even wanna be with him. I feel so bad all the time, and this stresses me so freaking much. The fact that i have anxiety doesnt help at all either, i feel very unstable all the time, and if i dont answer texts I really feel pressured and makes me feel like im ignoring him or that i dont want to talk to him, and thats the thing, sometimes i just dont want to, but i dont want to hurt his feelings. Yesterday we had a fight, and i told him about how i felt; he started by rambling about a fight he had with his best friends, and then shifting the rant towards me, and how i preferred to do something else than talk to him

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NBeBYIlLpAlJtc1YJKm9Gv7t0VrqXexq

aycy20

AITA if I use a freight elevator that specifically says no faculty or student use?

For the record I took the stairs, but had to take three flights of them. I kind of feel like this is one of those situations like using a handicap stall in the bathroom when it's completely empty. Depending on what ya'll think may influence me to use it. Keep in mind I have seen both faculty and students use the freight elevator, and just learned it was only meant for freight.

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MUTRM9wWz02NLTYcrZjmNTIRS1sLoobp

a3l8sg

AITA For not wanting to be friends with this kid on the bus?

I hate riding the bus to schools. It started last year when this kid sat next to me on the bus. He brought a Nintendo DS and I noticed that he was playing Mega man on it. So I asked him about it and we had a small conversation about the game. Ever since then, he started to sit by me every time on the bus. But he has no sense of personal space.I always try to be the first one on the bus because I hate having to search for a seat. And if he does get on before me, I feel obligated to sit by him because in afraid to hurt his feelings. I sit on the window side, and when he gets on, I'm literally squished between him and the window. I have no leg room because he puts his backpack between his legs and his elbows are always jaggibg into my sides. I should also point out that he has PLENTY of room bacause there's always a good foot of seat left after he sits down. But he seems to insist on squishing me. Heres the part where I feel like I might be an asshole. Its clear that he doesnt have many friends and is socially awkward. I feel like it may be his parents fault he says that he's not allowed out of the house other than to go to school. I often pretend to take a nap during the ride to school just to avoid conversation with him. He also only talks about video games. Nothing else. I'm a big gamer myself, but its like thats the only thing he knows. (He still tries to talk to me even though I'm "asleep") he doesnt seem to read any social cues. On the ride home from school, I feel forced to talk to him because its not logical to be tired at the end of the day. But I just cant relate to him at all. He always tries to get my attention by repeating phrases like "oh boy" or "I can't believe this" then keepa turning his phone towards me to show me. (Again. Always something to do with his video games) and I've always been short with him by only really responding with one word answers. He's also got no boundaries when it comes to other peiples privacy. Hes always looking over my I can't tell him now that I don't want to be friends with him any more. Its my fault for not Its been over a year. I dont know why he hasn't gotten the hint that I'm not interested in the things that he is interested in. But I've been dreading every bus ride that I take. Am I the Asshole for not socializing with him? I might be his only "friend" that he has.

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n7NvyKisvWcql65mIW3W03ESrKVd2IWA

b1mz2q

AITA For wanting to end this friendship?

Firstly, I did make an anonymous account for this. No real reason, I just have mild trust issues and I'm not sure I want this on my standard account. Probably the most important piece of information here is that I'm in love with my best friend and have been for year. (I'm a dude, she's a girl, not that it matters) She's wonderful. She never ked me on or made me think something was there when it wasn't, and she made it very clear that she didn't want anything more than what we have. She is, however, very amorous. Before our AP Euro test, she got super nervous while we were studying at her house, long story short, we ended up cuddling for upwards of an hour. We've held hands, she almost kissed me one time, and we enjoy platonic flirting. Again, we both agreed that none of that means anything, but I still think it justifies my feelings. For the longest time I was content because I just wanted her to be happy. And she is. We make each other calmer and happier, but earlier this year, she spent a month in a mental hospital, for reasons I'm not disclosing. When she came back, her brain was all sorts of fucked up, and I needed to stay with her for months before she finally recovered and was able to handle herself. The problem is, I'm not happy anymore. I want more and she doesn't. (Yes, I did ask her out once and got rejected) We got in a big argument a couple weeks ago for unrelated reasons and I needed some time alone, but I saw her crying today, and it turns out she was rejected from her college of choice. I walked into class ready to end a friendship that's excruciating because I want more, but she's already devastated because of college. I don't know if I can do that to her, but I also don't know if I can hold on for the last few months before we're off to college. TL;DR I love my best friend, she doesn't want anything more. I was about to end our friendship because I couldn't handle it anymore, but she got rejected from her first choice for college. I don't know if I can do it anymore

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UULcuPTsWc12tShHG1gspfgEj3SI59WL

awuwz8

AITA for getting angry with my boyfriend for planning to use his mom?

My boyfriend and his mom don't get along to well, and for exclusivity sake, we'll just say there was some neglect, misuse of funds, and verbal abuse. They don't talk because he refuses to, and at least I think, for good reason. Whenever she visits, he hides away, clearly displaying his discomfort and mild hatred for her. However, after his sister birthday, he was asked if he would go with his mother and sister to the mall. Originally he said he was going to decline, but then said that he was going to go so he could have her buy e-liquid. This is where I get angry, because I used to do the same thing with my mom after she did some things, but quickly realized my mistake as I matured. Anyway, I told him that it was wrong to use his mother like that, taking into consideration that they never talk, by his choice, and when they do, he wants to get something out of it. I can't support something that I feel is wrong, or incompromiseable. After I confronted him about it, our usually lengthy phone call was cut short, which made me feel like an asshole. Anyway, am I the asshole for doing this?

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1VdOg7pSsj9MVrUMbrYsci1ujzwa5p4p

b9ncx0

AITA for denying my boyfriend from making extra money?

So my boyfriend [m24] and I [m25] had a snag in our 9 year relationship. There is a lot of background stuff going on with this but I will try my best to explain it. My boyfriend didn't have a job at the time so he would take commissions to write fictional stories for internet people. All of them were porn stories of some degree. He did this off and on depending on demand which I really didn't mind at all honestly. He was doing something he liked and made a few extra bucks where his income was 0. This all changed when my boyfriend got a weird request. I mean, weirder than usual. This guy, I call him "creepy guy" wanted the same kind of story, that being an explicit story but very much fiction. It was fine so far. But then I found out that "creepy guy" wanted to watch my boyfriend write the story. I thought maybe it had to do with this "creepy guy" being snubbed by spending money and not getting a story. I was wrong in that regard. He wanted to watch my boyfriend write a story because "creepy guy's" kink was watching any author actually write the story for him. Very creepy already but later I found out that he was masterbating while watching my boyfriend writing the story "creepy guy" commissioned from my boyfriend. He would request my boyfriend to write the story for him until he finished his session of getting off. My boyfriend wasn't really fine with it but went along anyways because he needed the money. And it makes me feel really awkward whenever my boyfriend writes for that guy because he isn't jerking it to the story, but to my boyfriend who is writing the story. It made me pretty depressed because I feel like my boyfriend is getting paid to get someone off. My boyfriend never really asked my opinion about the situation, he just kind of decided that money was money. Now fast forward to recently, my boyfriend got a job and gets decent money compared to the 0 he got before. So my thought was he was going to stop writing for "creepy guy" because he won't need the money. I was wrong because he just kept writing for "creepy guy". I told him how it makes me feel and he wasn't happy about not having the extra money(even though we don't need it) but ultimately he agreed to stop because he doesn't want me feeling terrible about it. I felt much better after that but lately I feel like I am an asshole for feeling the way I did. He loves writing for people for money and I feel maybe I was being petty. I do respect my boyfriend a lot, give him privacy, and trust him wholly. So that's why I really feel like an asshole. By denying him money by providing a story, when he loves writing. Am I being an asshole? Sorry for the long post. Just needed to put some background so it's all on the table. TL;DR: boyfriend writes porn stories for a creepy guy who jerks it watching my bf write the story. Talked to him how I felt and he reluctantly stopped, but now I feel like an asshole for making him stop what he liked doing.

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0zNwD3Fe9JUFynh1xUY86nCOPDyFbeTK

9ui455

AITA for making out with a girl who came on to me but was dating someone else?

Ok so full story is that me and this girl, lets call her Sarah, are friends. Sarah was a senior in undergrad at the time and I was a freshmen. She was also my carpool home when I went back home every couple months. So basically we started hanging out alone, ya know like doing homework together or smoking some trees so I got to know her but she never told me about her bf. I heard about him through mutual friends but i never asked Sarah about him cause I just didn't really care honestly. Fast forward couple months and she invites me to her Xmas party in December and my friends and all go to her house and it was a fun time. In the middle she comes to me (blackout drunk) and asks me where her car keys are (I used her car to drop a friend back home cause she was not feeling well) and I told her that when I got back I gave them to her. By the way I should mention that this night I did not drink much (couple beers after I got back from dropping my friend off), not sure why, but I was basically sober the entire night. Anyways so I tell her that she has them and then she takes my hand and brings me to her room where she's like "I can't find them!".. I tell her I mean i don't know where you put them and then she just makes the first move and pushes me against the wall and gets really close to me. Me being a freshmen and seeing this happening with a senior whose pretty attractive I obviously don't back away and I let it happen.. Before we could do anything else someone opened her bedroom door and saw us. After her friends came in and saw us I left and went back to the living room where everyone else was. The next morning I told her what happened and she did not believe me as she didn't remember. She asked her roommates and they told her that they saw us on her bed which is true and people did see us. She then tells me not to tell anymore people and I never talked to her again. I tried following up the next day but she had blocked me on every social media platform and I never talked to her again till this day. I have seen her at tailgates or day drinks a couple times since but now she is in Grad school. Another detail is that she was dating this guy (Alumni) who was the founder for this fraternity at my university and i knew every brother in that fraternity and went to their parties as 99% of my friends all went there almost every weekend. Turns out I later got banned from their partys and events partially because of this.. Not a big deal but it kind of sucks cause i am friends with the same ppl (not the brothers though) and they sometimes go out without me leaving me with nothing to do some weekends. AITA TL;DR: I was sober and consciously madeout with a girl who made all the moves on me but I did know she was dating someone which led to me being banned from a fraternity.. AITA

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CeH6j1InWqvaiZYIoRyj9yPSMlLoHPf4

aeo1st

AITA for not saying hello?

I had an argument with my parents about this & I want to know if they’re overreacting or if I’m in the wrong here. Just 20 minutes ago, I was working on a calculus review for an important final I got coming up today and in between a little YouTube here and there. Then out of the blue, the door bell does off and I ignore it as it’s usually just UPS dropping off a package from Amazon or something along the lines of that. The doorbell rings a second time and this time my dad goes to answer the door. It turns out it’s this older neighbor that lives a block away. I initially didn’t say hello as I was in the middle of a problem, but eventually I did say hello after I wrapped up my problem. The older lady and my parents talked about something briefly, and then turned to leave. After she left, my parents said to me I was being disrespectful for ignoring the guest and then proceeded to go on about how it “reflects poorly about them”. What do you guys think? AITA?

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EfnxZnAMAvmdfK7h3zNqfXoH5tLJUKYF

b6ww4d

AITA for giving my classmates the opportunity to anonymously message a student

For some background information, the app was sarahah. A person would share their own link then other people would click on it to send messages anonymously. This was used to give thoughts about person anonymously. ​ So I had this batch mate that would constantly post about these messages on facebook. He claims that he gets "love letters" from his "girlfriend" through this messaging app. He is known to make up stories like these constantly. But one day, people in my class were so irritated because they were getting spammed by his posts. They asked if anyone had a link so they can message him anonymously. I had a link to this because I was familiar with some of his friends. I initially expected that they would just ask him to stop everyone's facebook feed. But what actually ended up happening is the link got to so many people and they sent him hateful messages. From what I've heard he tried killing himself because of all the hate messages he's been getting from a lot of our batch mates. So, AITA for giving the link?

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bUdAotWLLxtJlkLLK3QK2HR8vGN9qs8S

9w5gzs

WIBTA For snitching on a girl who got me suspended by blowing something out if proportion?

I'm in a post highschool graduate pet (dogs cats and other animals) grooming training school. Really good, takes forever to finish it's a whole year thing. Expensive and hard to get into. I took a picture of a dog (not the whole dog, just his fur) to basically show off my ***skillz***. It was super even and I was proud. It's against the rules to take pictures of the *whole* dog without the owners permission, not the dang perfectly trimmed toenails and legs. Explicitly says identifying features including full body and full face. Doesn't say non identifying features like legs. This girl went to to head person and blew it out of proportion and also lied saying I showed the dog's face but deleted it. Got me suspended for 3 days. This girl does a LOT of things against the rules. She juuls in the bathroom which is EXPLICITLY not allowed, has a flask, vapes thc oil that smells horrible (I have asthma and it's torture because the smoke fucks with my lungs) It wasn't a ~ton~ of trouble and won't affect me badly, but it will still affect the grades. If I snitch on this girl, who has a reputation for starting shit and has gotten others in trouble, would I be the asshole?

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Xn3jNiA98o9OXNG3mnAYo8HCer66R9uh

9zotc3

AITA for trying to avoid my divorced mom?

My parents got divorced about 2 years ago. As far as I know most parents kinda "fight" over who gets the children but it was different for us, she just left us. Didn't even want to take us. Whenever I meet with her it's not really fun, it's usually just boring and I am just constantly hearing bad and snarky comments about my dad and his family (which are basically my whole family since we see my mom's family like once a year). Its just like annoying for me. The whole experience. Also for some reason I don't really miss her, like ever. The thing is that I'm not sure if I really just don't care about her so I don't miss her or I'm just emotionally not capable of missing people? It's weird. I do miss people but a few number of people, like 2-3 which are people who I really love. I do see her sometimes, but there are usually some big gaps (like currently I haven't seen for her for a few months) and I just have no interest in meeting with her. It's like I have not a single reason. I do meet her, but I prefer not to be just two of us (which she asks alot for). I usually just try to avoid it and try to meet her when I can meet her with my sister, so it's not just two of us.

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Pw90dIT0C4ewXY35z4RkddfSanE8UnS4

a2w7ov

AITA for asking people in a gc to stop sending videos of them smoking temporarily?

I'm a model, and my agency has a group chat where we're supposed to bond and what have you. But they constantly send videos of them smoking and it... For lack of a better term... Triggers me. When I was 15 I was going through a lot of really messed up stuff and in trying to find coping mechanisms, I found smoking. I became addicted. Since then, I've seeked help, and am in recovery (if all goes well, I'll be 3 years clean in April) Recently, I've been really stressed. I'm applying to college and some bad things have been going on in my personal life, and I've found myself wanting to smoke more than anything lately. I've asked our manager to ask them to stop, she's brought it up to them, but they still haven't. I've asked them nicely to stop, again, temporarily but they don't. All I'm asking for is a shred of empathy.

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ATTqzTxwWfKbpyxa0ciXWHHLzsqzUnmw

b5yn1s

WIBTA if I told my in-laws how I really feel about their blatant favouritism?

Below is a list of the evidence that my in-laws favour their daughter (23) over their son (29): 1. When he left for school, they immediately turned his bedroom into a study for his sister. 2. They sent her to a private high school and him to a public high school. 3. They have many pictures of her up around the house including one professional family photo of only her and the parents. He was not even at the photo shoot. 4. They always tell her information about family health and forget to tell us. 5. She knows all of the family financial information and account passwords, etc. He knows nothing. 6. They paid for most of her wedding and gave us the money to pay for ingredients for the cake. 7. One Christmas I asked them to split the cost of an iPad 3 ways with his parents, my parents, and me. They did. They did not get him an additional gift. They bought her an iPad and a trip out West for a week (by plane). 8. They take her on vacations with them and have never even invited us. 9. He had to work through high school and college and pay his way but she gets all kinds of help and barely works. She is bright. She’s going to work in the medical field and he is too. He has a degree in psych and works with people with mental illness and addictions. His parents just treat her differently for some reason and it’s not right. My husband says I should just let it go to keep the peace and he doesn’t feel it will help anything, but I am just so angry about it and have come to resent them.

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iBJWO6DgOg7JnJ9482wqtF0A1VNamawY

apr5v0

AITA for not wanting to stay in an expensive private school?

Hello everyone sorry in advance for bad English it’s not my native language. I am 15 years old and I come from a poor background. My mother works very hard to support me and my education, so she decided to surprise me by telling me that I would no longer be going to public school and instead I will go to a private one. At first I was excited and looking very forward to it. Fast forward to now, it’s miserable for me, a lot of students make fun of me for being poor, I have the same uniform but my backpack plus cellphone, it’s an iPhone 6, are things people have been making jokes and mean insults about. I don’t have many friends since I don’t have things that people find in common with me. I try very hard to just focus on my school and block it out but it has me feeling very sad and upset about my situation. My nickname is Oliver Twist, one guy coined the phrase “please give me so more” whenever I eat my home lunch. I guess because they think my food isn’t as good as theirs. I am very grateful for the opportunity for private school and am eternally thankful to my mother for her hard work to get me here, but I’m not sure if I can continue this schooling. I think about it all day after school as well, so I’ve been unhappier as a whole. I brought it up to my mother and she was very upset and considered the bullying not that bad. She said she worked many extra hours to get me into this school and I should be grateful and think ahead. I understand that this will make me look better in the future as well, but I was so much happier in public school with straight A’s and friends. I also don’t want to be an asshole to my mother who has done so much. Am I the asshole?

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MOjw0Wrm6RO805tgjNxkmOKecO1OHALq

as1qab

AITA for returning a birthday gift to my ex?

This happened 6ish years ago but I wanted to post something on this sub as I love it so far- So when this happened, I was partying at my sister's house and met her coworker. We had sex that night and continued to talk to each other and whatnot. I was hesitant to begin a relationship because my previous one had severely damaged me(just now getting over it lol) but for 4 months this girl said things to me like, "it scares me how much i like you" "i really can't wait til we're official". Anyhow when I finally asked her out, she shut down emotionally and even started just screaming at me just for my personality. She said I was too nice and it made me look like a girl. So when I dumped her she left my things on the stairs outside of her duplex unit. I only had one thing to return, a drawing of Ledger Joker and Bale Batman she did for my bday. It wasn't like epic quality but it was a really awesome gift. She was upset that I left it on her stairs. My reasoning was that I didn't want a constant reminder of the energy I used to decide that I wanted a relationship with someone who treated me like trash.

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y4aFVPwZN8iO2Lk1UhjJ9yP6i0iQmbrZ

b77ah4

AITA for being skeptical when someone on reddit says they're mentally unhealthy?

I see a lot of memes about "depression and anxiety" on basically every sub. So much, it just feels unnatural, like, it's hard to belive that there are really dozens or even hundreds of thousands of people with depression and anxiety on a \~250k users sub for problems that affect about 5-10% the world population (unless when it's on a sub specifically about this subject). It feels even more suspicious after seeing people who though they were depressed/anxious, but turned out normal after a diagnosis. When I see these posts, I often have to question myself stuff like "Is this person *actually* mentally unhealthy or are they pretending to be so they can post this kind of stuff for easy internet points?" or "does this person *really* have depression or did they feel justifiably sad for ten minutes *once* and assumed that's how it works?". Because healthy people pretending to be depressed for karma feels like a dick move. Of course, really long texts talking about how miserable they're feeling and begging for help and advice or constant posts talking about their issue are really hard not to belive, but someone going "I have depression lol xd" and moving on pretty normally after getting a certain ammount of upvotes still sounds fishy to me, and I think karma-whoring fucking **mental illnesses** just doesn't sound right.

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8ht9jvBWrTufTDu84vxNQ2lhZBIT9XPT

b7jdql

AITA for prohibiting my friend from coming to the game with me and his girlfriend.

We live in Baltimore, which isnt the nicest place. It's worse than Detroit or Chicago so you gotta be careful there. I got tickets to the last ravens game of the season and invited him. He invited his girl for the 3rd ticket. However, he insisted on wearing his Brady Jersey. Now I know you're already questioning his age and intelligence but the dude's from MA so he's not a bandwagon. However I know how wild people get and how much Baltimore cares about their sports. I warned him not to wear his jersey. He refused and I told him he could stay at home but his girlfriend still wanted to go. I took her and had a good time even though we fuckin lost. My friend found out and wasn't happy with how comfortable we were at the game but it's his fault for not taking off the damn jersey and coming with us. He blocked me after a short fight. few weeks ago he texted me saying I was one of the reasons they broke up. I told him he should have stopped being stubborn and came with us. I feel bad obviously but I don't think I'm the problem. AITA

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0uOHgb6cQbGGKqOMHQX5D5nRNLfBFLD3

aw3maf

AITA for thinking my friend goes way overboard when it comes to the social aspect of being transgender?

This whole post is about to come off ignorant as hell. I'm totally supportive of her in every step of her journey but... wow she really just takes every single opportunity to shove "look at how gay/trans I am" in everyones face. It kind of irritates me because she's let it become 100% of her personality. Am I an asshole for wanting to say something to her about toning it down? In our circle of friends, I'm not the only one who thinks this, far from it. Like, I don't think anyone should censor or downplay who they are just to appease others but at the same time it feels almost forced.

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b6bzxh

WIBTA if I said something about the previous owner breeding my horse?

Tl,dr: bought a horse. Agreement was to pay half upon the decision that I wanted him and signed and sent the sales contract (which included she retained to free live foal guarantee breedings to him), and half when I picked him up. The way we talked about it was insinuating that he'd be bred in the future after he was trained, and was one of the reasons she chose me (within the state) over other people across country or over seas. she bred him to two of her mares before I picked him up.. I just picked him up a couple days ago. This has been a long ~5 month process. She bought him with the intent to train and breed him, but never got around to it. When I went to view him it was more like an interview for me and her deciding if I was worthy of her horse. She has been himing and hawing over selling him for about 3 years. Which is fair since she loved him and wants a good life for him, but this was by far the most in depth *interview* I've ever had, especially for a horse she had for 5 years and couldn't get close enough to touch. We kept contact over this time. A few updates on both of our parts. When I got there to pick him up she handed me the folder with his registration papers. She kind of stopped and said "look, I have to be straightforward with you. I've kept copies of his papers and have had two of my mares pastured and exposed to him to breed". I get that her contract, which I read and signed, states that she would keep _**two**_ live foal guaranteed breedings to this horse. But she never told me she was doing this during the time we were emailing and updating each other. And how she prefaced it sounded like she was on the fence about even telling me. I was polite and said how it would be exciting to see foals of his, because I'm sure they'd be gorgeous. But I feel like I should say something. I feel a little blind sided. I don't know what her intentions were? I don't know if she just figured "we'll probably have a hard time meeting up in person to breed in the future and I have him here now, so why not!?" Or if she was trying to breach the contract (which only she has a copy with my signature, I don't have a copy or her signature) It's too soon to tell if they're pregnant. And even if they are and they lose the foal ineutero(not part of contract if it dies after birth) then she could still breed back. I want to say something but I don't know what? WIBTA if I count these as her two breedings (if all goes well) and turn her away in the future if she quotes the contract..? I want to say something(but I don't know what). My mother tells me since she told me before we left that I shouldn't and I'd be an ass if I did, although she agrees it wasn't the best move on her part.

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b7s8hi

AITA for being upset that my (26m) girlfriend (25f) got her flatmate a birthday present twice the value of mine and my present was delayed and then changed and she gave it to me 2.5 months late?

I’ve been with my girlfriend 14 months. My birthday was the end of last year (December) and she said she’d organise a holiday away for us for a couple of days. I was super up for this and told her this. She then didn’t want to discuss dates about going away. I asked her a couple of times if she wasn’t keen to go but she keeps insisting that she is still keen. She then gets me a “birthday present” because she was feeling “guilty for leaving it so long” and also because we haven’t booked somewhere to go away yet. But still refuses to even look at places with me. The shirt she got me cost £15. She then told me (about a week later) that she had just got her female friend her birthday present too. It was a ring valued at £30. Initially I didn’t think much of it but then I thought it was a bit strange how she spent double on her friend what she did on me. I’ve bought her expensive perfumes in the past and when it comes to gifts, I tend to spend a bit more on her than she does on me. I feel as if maybe I am the asshole here but it kind of hurts that she was so late with the present, changed from what she initially said she would get me (even when I said I didn’t mind if she didn’t get me one, but she insisted she would and planted the idea in my head) and then didn’t seem to put much thought into it. What are everyone’s thoughts?

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BWxbazU00YfYZkwYLOnSDOdVfat6yXFw

autw8r

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she’s so ridiculously close with her bff?

I’m a girl in high school, I met this girl, let’s call her Jenny, in middle school. We got along, and liked the same things, so I asked her out. It was fine for about a few months before I moved an hour away to another city, I still visited her as much as I could. She said she wasn’t very comfortable with me living so far away at this point, and I said I was doing my best and it was out of my control. Luckily, I moved back into her city and we were together steadily throughout this time. Jenny and I both share a mutual friend, who we will call Christianne. Christianne is a nice friend, and we /used/ to get along well. Christianne met my girlfriend through me in middle school, before we even dated. They weren’t really close until about high school though, actually, they weren’t really close until we got together, even. Now. Our relationship was rocky because of two things, we both have an interest in role playing, and we used to do it together all the time, and suddenly she just wouldn’t want to do it with me anymore, and only with Christianne. This upset me because I have borderline personality disorder, and this triggered my fight or flight response. It made me feel bad about myself, but I can’t really explain why. And two. She was INCREDIBLY close with Christianne. She was always at her house, always hung out and were always together. It’s still like that now. In fact, Christianne and Jenny live together and Jenny’s dad is Christiannes legal guardian now because of CSA troubles. Jenny encouraged her dad to adopt Christianne so they could be together. That made me feel horrible. Anyway, their friendship was obsessive. They were always near, always talking to eachother and always making inside jokes which they wouldn’t want me to be included in. (I.E, I asked them to explain one and Jenny quickly said “no don’t tell her!) We broke up for good in October, a few months ago. She wasn’t talking to me and her only response was “I have nothing to talk about.” She wouldn’t talk to me for days at a time, and I was already tired of having a relationship where I felt like I was giving and not receiving. Now, Christianne and Jenny live together, they talk all the time, include eachother in everything, always have to be together and cuddle eachother “as friends.” Christianne even made a post on her “secret” account that she had feelings for Jenny, which I assumed, but she didn’t want to act on them because she didn’t want to ruin her relationship with Jenny. I still feel like a dick for breaking up with her, but at the same time I feel mistreated. She would treat Christianne more like a girlfriend than me. TLDR; I broke up with my girlfriend because she was too close to my friend and it made me jealous. AITA?

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a5h9rg

AITA For thinking about breaking up with my [20m] girlfriend [20] because her family situation will stress me out too much?

So I’ve been with my gf for a bit over a month and this is my first actual relationship. Tonight she told me about something that happened and wanted me to come over to her dorm. Once we got to talking she laid some baggage on me that she hadn’t really talked that much about. I’ve had bad experiences with girls in the past who’ve had some issues in their lives, and I was hoping to kind of escape that with this relationship. She wanted me to spend the night, but I felt like I needed to think all of this over on my own since I can only really process my thoughts when I’m alone, so I went home. On the one hand I want to stay with her and support her through this and I’d feel bad for ditching her, but on the other hand I feel like I’m poorly equipped to do it and it’ll just end up being unhealthy and taxing for me. So, am I the asshole?

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OM2S8wXcAHiwUCwpEu8ZLkjGHyeL7EFA

b59jk9

AITA my dad is forcing me to join a concert "band" that is made up of members that are just starting to learn their instruments

My dad is forcing me to join this concert even though I have 6 years experience playing my instrument. The type of music is the stuff that you would hear at a school concert (very slow out of time and out of tune) and NONE of the kids know what they are doing. I pretty much told him to fuck off and he is saying that im supposedly selfish for not wanting to do it and help out the younger kids. Am I the ass hole for not wanting to sit through 2 hours of week of what is equivalent to "ear sandpaper".

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3YBKSkyEHV59xDDBm2eBTeu5Jsm5goN7

am46gr

AITA for turning off the lights and locking the doors in a stranger's car?

It's -20 C (-4 for my American friends) in Calgary. I pulled into a parking lot at school, and noticed that the car next to me had their lights on. This could mean absolute disaster, as cars already have a hard time starting in weather like this. So after quickly checking around for the owner, I checked if their doors were unlocked and if I could turn the light off. Lucky for me, the doors were unlocked. I go into the car, turn the lights off, look for their key (to make sure I wasn't locking them out) and then locked the doors behind me. I park kind of far away from the school, and there have been several known thefts so I didn't want them to get robbed. This is where the question comes in though: my friend yelled at me and told me that I shouldn't have done that because maybe they would be right back or maybe they left the lights on for a reason, and that now they might be locked out of their car. So, AITA for turning off their lights and locking the doors?

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yywFPI32bpCSU6c0zbHM5Vz4QEc5OVQg

am71dp

AITA for keeping my marriage of almost 2 years a secret from my close friends?

So I have been married for almost two years in March. My husband and I have been through a lot together and things haven't really been peachy always but for the last 3 years or so things have been really good. We decided to get married at the courthouse and agreed that we'd keep it quiet for awhile until we could afford a ceremony. I started telling people and people have been mostly optimistic and happy for me... except for one person- My best friend of almost ten years. She was so pissed off at me that she said she didn't want me to be in the wedding (after I asked her to be a bridesmaid). Keep in mind we didn't even tell everyone in our families.... so it's not like we were keeping certain people outside of our lives specifically, we just felt like it was no one's business in general. AITA for not telling her and now for essentially considering ending our friendship as there have been multiple other strains as well and I just don't feel like the friendship is worth my time at this point?

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YbOXIvETXuHlcNI50qQGUTKZ43fkGMRh

aqs42m

AITA for telling a girl that I’m not her friend?

First off, this wouldn’t have happened if this little 6th grader DIDNT stir the pot. My friend and I were chilling and playing BitLife together after school and we saw my friend’s friend (who hates me) talking to the 6th grader . He’s known for being troublesome so I got a bit worried but I didn’t think much of it. Five minutes later, guess what? My friend’s friend (let’s call her spaghetti) was in that “I’m sad and I want attention but if you ask me what’s wrong I’ll say no until you insist” mode. My friend said “Spaghetti, are you okay? and she was like “I’m FINE.” and this went on for quite a bit. Finally she went outside for some air and the 6th grader I was talking about told us about how we’re such horrible friends for not inviting her places and such. Spaghetti told us it was a private convo and we weren’t supposed to know, but he’s just that type. I went and said to Spaghetti something along the lines of “Going out to the movies (which is what she was upset about!) was a private event between the three of us and I’m sorry you didn’t come but you’ve never invited me anywhere. Why should I?” Keep in mind that she HATES me and we literally never talk. I barely even know her. She then said “Am I not one of your best friends?” I was dumbfounded. What??? “Are you?” is what I said after she said that. She then starting BAWLING and ran away. My other friends looked at me with a totally shocked expression. I don’t know where this came from. We never talk and when we do she’s cold towards me. ?????? Am I the asshole?

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b081rn

AITA for constantly avoiding a girl in my school that smells bad?

Now i don't know this girl but a few months ago i sat next to her on the bus and she smelled extremely bad and ever since than if i see her at school i actively try not to stand next to her and i think it's starting to get obvious and it makes me feel bad for doing this because i see her talking to other people who don't seem to be bothered by the smell so AITA for actively not being near her in a possibley obvious way?

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Wq9601kU2gcAmg10NVBCKOQgYKwbp7A3

a5f56s

AITA For getting upset at my (21/f) boyfriend (23/m) for sleeping a lot while we hang out?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a couple years. We don't live together and so we only get to see each other 1-3 times a week due to schedules. A lot of those days we can only see each other for 4-5 hours before I need to go home. I am the only one with a car and we live half an hour away from each other so I am the one always commuting. On weekdays, I have to take the bus to work (downtown commute), so after work I have to take the bus back to my car (45 mins) and then drive to his house and back home. The problem is that when I come over, sometimes he will want to sleep for 1-2 hours (out of the few we have together) because he is tired (he will usually have been taking a nap when I get there). He works midnight shift at fast food but I see him on his days off. He says he is stressed out by his job and has rly odd sleep schedules and will stay up all night sometimes because he doesn't feel like he has time to himself. We both work 40 hours a week though. And he tells me I can come over the days I do. He says he wants to see me and doesnt see why him sleeping while me trying to cuddle him isnt the best quality time for me. I feel bad when he asks me if I feel like I'm wasting my time because I complain of commute. I tried to explain that I feel lonely and bored because he isn't conscious. AITA? Should I be happy just to be able to see him and cuddle with him while he sleeps? TLDR: Boyfriend takes 2 hour naps when we hang out despite limited time (5 hour) we have together. I have to drive long commute to see him. AITA for not being happy with just being able to cuddle and see him while he sleeps?

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1aEqC3XCEspTaHjpXPcAD9Jm0BIt76Np

b3ajqi

AITA for refusing to talk to my brother?

Okay, I hope I managed to sum this up well. I made an account just to post this... here we go. My (only) brother [20M] recently moved out of my family's house (which now only consists of me, my mother, and my father) for good because he is going to automotive school and has his own apartment now. Last week, he called me [15F] and I didn't pick up. I didn't pick up because I *do not* like him. At all. Throughout my entire childhood, he was a massive prick and basically harassed me non-stop to the point I had clinical depression at about age 8. Our relationship has gotten sort of better, but it really can't undo the years of abuse he put me through. I'm in therapy working through it now, so I think "traumatic" is a good adjective to describe what happened. It's more amicable now and not abusive but I'm still not comfortable around him. I basically have 0 plans to speak to him unless he physically comes over, in which I don't really have a choice. But otherwise, I don't want to. My parents are aware of what a shitshow our relationship is; my mother in particular seems dead-set on having us be all buddy-buddy again, but I refuse. [We'll get more into detail about that.] The first time he called and I didn't pick up, my father told me he called. I said I knew, and just made up some lie of "I'll get back to him at some point." My mother also confronted me about it and said that we **had** to have a relationship at some point. I said the same thing I said to my dad. Naturally, I never called back. He tried calling again two days ago, and I didn't pick up again. Last night my dad said I should get back to him, but nothing more. My mother, however, confronted me again and said that I ***NEEDED*** to call him back and repair our relationship but I refused and said that I'm not speaking to him. She chewed me out and said I was acting like a bitch, and didn't really let me defend myself before she stormed off. So I guess that's my question. *Am* I acting like a bitch [asshole], or am I justified here? **TDLR: Am I being an asshole because I don't want to speak to my brother, who has a track record of being an asshole?**

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abij2d

AITA for not making plans at NYE with an old friend?

Just a quick one because this is on my mind and it's bugging me. 2 months ago a friend who I used to hang out with a lot asked me to let me know my plans for New Year's Eve. I said sure. We then didn't speak again for 2 months. I had no plans, but 4 hours before midnight I got invited to a party near my house (which is 200 miles away from the friend in question house). At about 3:00am I got a text telling me that I'm a shit friend, and that she doesn't want to see me again because I don't make enough effort with her. She was also angry that I didn't organise to see her over the Christmas hols. I think this is unfair. I don't think I should get sent insults because I don't invite her to enough things. It should be equal, she should invite me to things as well. She had made 0 attempts to organise anything so why should she be insulting me because I have not made an attempt to see her? It's made me quite angry that she's sent all these insults at me, calling me a shit friend and a shit person. Am I the arse hole?

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WIBTA if I quit a job peer mentoring low-income and Hispanic students?

Hi everyone. I am a member of an [HSI-STEM program](https://www2.ed.gov/programs/hsistem/index.html) wherein I mentor Hispanic and low income college students as a college student myself. The persons picked to be mentors are successful college students who are doing well in classes and extracurriculars who are either Hispanic or low income. I am of the low income type. It is best to meet with them in person to gauge what they're going through. If they're feeling depressed I can see it, so I can ask about it and see what the problem is. When I find out what the issue is, I can direct them to specialized help, like one-on-one tutoring (which is 100% free for them, btw), mental health persons or whatever else they may go through. If it's by email or text, I don't get that human interaction. A majority of the students I am mentoring simply don't care for being in the program, though. When I ask to meet them in person, they just don't respond to my messages. I have to nag them constantly by email and by text. I saw one of the mentees (person being mentored) in person and I asked if he got my email. He said, "I got it, I'll try to reply soon." My performance is gauged upon the frequency of my meetings since I'm paid a salary. If I don't meet frequently enough, I can be fired, so hence I'm forced to give in and do an email check in. To add salt to the wound, some of the mentees don't even reply with full sentences and write their messages as fragments and sometimes miss some of my questions. At a previous meeting with the school staff managing this program, one of the mentors expressed that he couldn't get in touch with his students. The staff member was very rude to him and tried to ostracize him for not doing his job. It's out of his power to force the other students to reply to him so I can't see how he could be put at fault. While some of the students do reply and keep in touch with me, most of them don't. I just feel like I'm wasting my time and I find the whole thing stressful. However, if I quit, I will be forcing these students to be handed off to other mentors. The others are managing around 5, I am managing 7. I believe there are about 6 mentors, so each of them would get an extra person with one getting two extra. These mentors have expressed they have too many students to work with. I feel like I am jeopardizing a new program that just started last semester but at the same time I hate the work I'm doing and I just feel worthless with this job. Would I be the asshole if I resigned? Also, I'm thinking of just saying I don't have the time to work due to school and my other job (in a polite and professional manner), which is partly true, though the main reason I'd like to quit is because I do not like this job. Would I be the asshole if I wasn't too open on the reason why I quit?

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