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metaeval

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yaFfHH5jbY2mEAC2V9Ih79kDTs6Em3uW

av52ye

AITA for staying with my boyfriend against my friend's wishes?

Hi everyone! FTP, etc. I (F18) recently started dating my boyfriend (M19) about 2 months ago. Before we were "official" we were talking for a few weeks, because I met him when we were both in high school. I also met one of my best friends (F18) when I was in 10th grade and she was in 9th (she is currently a senior in HS and I just started college). My now-boyfriend started talking to me after I had got out of my last relationship, which I had been in all through high school. It had been a few months since the break up and I felt like I was finally ready to move on and find someone else, so when he asked me if I wanted to hang out and catch up I agreed. We got along really well and had lots in common, and I quickly got feelings for him. He said he had had a crush on me since 11th grade, which I knew to be true because he had attempted to ask me out once my junior year and again my senior year (I had turned him down both times due to the fact I was still in a relationship already, but he wasn't pushy about and was respectful both times I turned him down). Before we were official, all my friends knew I was seeing someone, at first didn't specify who because I figured most of them didn't know who he was. After I said his first name, my one friend asked if his last name was his last name and I confirmed it was. Then, my friend got upset and stopped talking to me when I asked what the problem was. I was genuinely concerned because she had a few interactions with him that I was vaguely aware of but I didn't know exactly what had happened between them. When I finally got it out of her, she told me that while we were all still in HS, he was flirting with her after she had went through a breakup and it made her feel like he was trying to hook up with her and take advantage of her during a rough time. She also claims that he was flirting with both me and her at the same time, though I have no way of confirming nor denying that. She says this happened around the time he first asked me out (me and him would have been in 11th grade and her in 10th). I was unsure of what to do and I told her that I really liked him and didn't want to stop talking to him, but I would if I was being a bad friend for seeing him. She told me that it was okay and that she wanted me to be happy, but her words & actions say otherwise. I never talk about my boyfriend with her because every time I do she gets mad and I can tell she doesn't really like us being together. Occasionally, she'll say something along the lines of "How's your boyfriend?" and roll her eyes or something when I answer. I don't really understand the big deal, he was just flirting and it's not like they hooked up or dated, if he was actually her ex boyfriend or something, I probably wouldn't be with him, but this was years ago and I have confirmation that he apologized to her. So, AITA for continuing to stay with him even though she isn't cool with it?

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awytjl

AITA for changing an entry on Wikipedia to prove to a med student they can’t rely on it to be accurate?

I was in a sub for medical students, and saw a comment that someone was using Wikipedia to get drug information. There are multiple sites and resources that are far more reliable, and it’s fairly well known in academia that Wikipedia is NOT a reliable source of information. I explained in a comment that Wikipedia can be edited by anyone, anytime, for any reason, and it wasn’t safe for this medical student to use it as a resource for figuring out drug action, duration, dosage etc. The med student told me they didn’t think it was a problem. I went on Wikipedia and edited the duration of a medication to be double what it normally was. I saved it, the posted to the med student the link to the live wiki and asked them if they saw anything wrong with the info. They got pissed and accused me of potentially causing harm to a patient by changing info on Wikipedia. I don’t think any doctor who deserves to be called one is going to Wikipedia for info on a medication. What do you all think, am I the asshole?

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aucq08

AITA for throwing serious topics on a guy I don’t know well?

I know I’m probably not a real asshole for this but I would like to know if I should not have done this- I hope that’s acceptable. I’ve been in a new class since a few weeks, and I don’t know most people in it very well yet. Last week we had an excursion and when everyone went home after that I ended up with one guy from my class who had to take the same train as me for about an hour. We made some small talk about work, how we liked our mayor so far, and what we wanted to do after uni. It was all fine, but the I shared that I found out another guy from our class is a very religious person and that I was surprised by that. He agreed, and then I told him I wondered what the other guy his stance on gay marriage is, because I’m bi myself. He replied.. like I made him kind of uncomfortable and he didn’t know what to say. I quickly steered back to small talk and when I left we said bye but it felt awkward to me, and I felt like everyone in the train cabin was staring at me like I’d broken some social rule (they’d all been able to hear the conversation) So, should I not have brought up a big topic like gay marriage with a (straight) guy I barely know? I’ve always had a hard time sharing personal things with people and I’m afraid I’m overdoing it now that I’ve realised that it was a problem, if that makes sense.

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a8fuih

AITA for thinking my brother should help pay for the costs of a ticket when I borrowed his car with expired registration and no insurance.

AITA for expecting my brother to help pay for some of the costs? (On mobile so sorry for any typos!) This incident happened several years ago and my brother and I are good and have a great relationship shop. but this remains a sore spot when it comes up and it dawned on me to use this forum to get an outside perspective. I was visiting from out of town and borrowed my brothers car to go to the dentist. On my way home I get pulled over for having expired registration and during the process I figure out my brothers insurance is expired. To add to this, his registration and insurance were not expired - he just never put the tags on and never put the registration card or his updated insurance card in his car. Nonetheless since I was the one driving I got the ticket for expired registration and no insurance. Mind you this required me to show up in court which meant I needed to buy a plane ticket a few months later to return to fight the ticket. The asshole-ness comes into question because I thought my brother should help me pay for some of what I needed to pay since I think it was ultimately his fault that I got the ticket. He thinks that since I was the one borrowing the car that I needed to determine if everything was legit before driving it. What really bugs me is that he didn’t offer to pay anything and was pretty much like “you should have known better”. Even if he offered to pay like $100 I would have been okay with it. I may be naive but I always assume that if there are any potential problems with a car I’m borrowing that the person would give me a heads up. At least that’s how I operate. In the end I had to pay for a $700 plane ticket (Its a 5 hour flight for me so couldnt save my driving). The judge was cool enough to reduce the tickets to $25. But I was still out $700 that I dont think I should have had to pay all by myself. Also to add, for the most part my brother is extremely nice and accommodating. It’s very easy to take advantage of him if you are a family member (which my other brothers and parents do often). He’s also willing to take the blame just to deescalate arguments. He’s also responsible so it never crossed my mind that I would need to consider there being issues borrowing his car. But that is partly why this is so frustrating. He takes zero accountability for this so I know he genuinely believes he’s right and is not just being stubborn. So want do you think?

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9v0nqz

AITA for calling someone a rude name to their face due to their bad parking?

In context I was picking my son up in the UK from primary school. I park a few roads away because I know it's a residential area and many other parents block driveways the road over from school because they're the most important people in the world. This road I park down has a 180° turn at the bottom with some double yellow lines going around the corner til just after the bend. So I'm following this Audi estate, he's already attempted to pull into 2 spaces his car wouldn't fit, no signalling, no hazard lights to say sorry dude, nothing. All of a sudden he emergency brakes and pulls over on this bend on the double yellow lines. And apparently he's done because all lights go off and so does his engine. I am enraged by this point, being 5 minutes late I only had 5 more minutes to collect my son before he's sent to reception for collection. So I go past this fucking idiot and park about 7 feet away, off the double yellow and I proceed to run out the car. Audi idiot is smirking at me. Me! Mr I -Can't-Drive-Like-A-Civilised -Human is smirking at me as if to say, I know I'm a total twat, what are you going to do? Too many times do people get to park like absolute shit heads and get away with it. Well, not today... "Fucking prick." I muttered, jogging past him. "What did you say?" He seems utterly astonished. I stopped dead in my tracks, turned to look at him and stated, "I called you a fucking prick." And on I jogged. Since then this guy has been getting his kid, his 10 or 11 year old kid to glare at me and they often exchange things and laugh when they know I'm looking. I want to punch him, but what I want more is to know that I'm NTA, please reddit, I am at your mercy!

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auylx0

AITA for 'scamming' my roomate?

Hey, I moved into a new apartment the 15'th december 2018 with 2 acquaintances, the apartment got 3 bedrooms, 2 of them are smaller and the bigger one is about 40% bigger than the other 2. So before we moved in, I asked my roomates (let's call them X and Y) who was taking the big room, X says that he doesn't care, Y says that he really wants it. Now, I really wanted that room as well, so I asked "Okay, do you want to randomize(I don't know the right word) who gets it or should the highest bidder get it?(The one who offers to pay the most extra rent for it). Y says that it's not fair because he doesn't have as high of an income as I do, arguing that then I would get it and that wouldn't be fair. So I gave in and we went to [random.org](https://random.org/) and I won the roll (To clarify, the big room is now rightfully mine for the taking). After about 3 days, Y says "I NEED the big room to fit my bed in it blablalba, what is it going to take for me to get the room instead of you?" so, once again I finally gave in and said "I really want the big room as well, but if you pay 30$ of my rent every month, you can have the room instead of me, that's what it's going to take for me to give up the big room." Y agreed. Now fast forward to yesterday, X is really mad and he's claiming that I'm scamming him for money, he argues "It's not fair that you and me got the same m\^2 room, but you're paying 30$ less rent. He's really upset about this and he's basically saying i'm an asshole which is scamming him for money, saying that I should have taken this up with him as well. AITA?

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b1fsav

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because I don’t see a future?

I know the answer to this may seem obvious to some of you, but my heart keeps telling me I made a mistake. My girlfriend (19F) and I (21M) had been together about 8 months when I decided to end things. We have had several conversations about what we want out of life, including where we might like to live, having children, where to get married should it come to that, etc. We had a lot of disagreements on these things that I believe a couple should more or less be on the same page about. For example, I don’t like putting a time frame on things, when I’m ready for kids, I’ll have kids. Her response to this was “I’m having a baby by 25 with or without you.” In terms of location, my job will most likely take me to California right out of college, she said she would “Never live there, we would have to be in a bordering state and commute.” When talking about a wedding, she wants to have it at Disney World and is willing to take out loans to make it happen, while I believe that to be ridiculous. There are other small relationship quirks like certain attitudes or behaviors I disagreed with, but I was willing to work past those and work on it together. However when it comes to these very big life decisions, I just can’t see an ending where both of us are happy, so I broke things off. Part of my reasoning comes from a previous relationship, where she and I moved together even though she didn’t want to because she said she was willing to make that sacrifice for me... she wanted to see other people less than a year later. During our conversation about separating, she said she was only joking, and that she would be willing to do anything just to be with me. I told her that she shouldn’t have to sacrifice children to be with somebody, and that I would in no way ask her to give that up. She tried telling me that she will have no on without me, as she poured everything into our relationship and lost all of her friends because of this. I saw this as a guilt trip, and it reaffirmed my stance that in the long run this just was not meant to be. And in my opinion, I would rather rip the band aid off now than have to cut through the stitches two years from now. So people of Reddit, am I the asshole for ending things?

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ac4sxv

AITA for deleting Tinder matches?

Im a guy. I tend to swipe right everytime I can basically on Tinder because i basically want someone to match me. When somebody does, which doesnt occur very often, its very rare actually, I instinctively go onto their profile and think very hard if there would be any chance we could get together. I kind of then realise that maybe I dont really use Tinder to get dates but to push my ego through matches that dont mean anything. Am I the asshole for destroying the counterparts hopes instantly?

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IHAQsYLzVamwpjtvivw6pRXqg9G1WbBe

abg8v5

AITA for accepting food from this guy?

In my Bio class, there’s a kid who sits next to me that we’ll call Austin. Austin gets school lunch every day, but instead of eating it in the Cafeteria, he brings it into Bio class. It kind of annoys me that he does this, since having someone eating pancakes with maple syrup sit next to me as I do my worksheet makes working more difficult, plus he keeps talking instead of doing his work. I’ve asked him multiple times to stop, including telling him that it’s against school policy to bring cafeteria food into class (which it is). I’ve made sure to be nice every time because Austin is pretty nice to me. So nice, in fact, that sometimes he offers me part of his breakfast that he doesn’t eat, and I’m happy to accept. AITA for asking him to stop bringing in food, but also accepting food that he offers me?

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VqWOErIVkPNF5fy3Aa9Q2uRMQtUL7m8Y

9ytcd7

AITA - My (M19) new friend (F20) has a lomg distance relationship

So to start off I didn't know she had a boyfriend in the beginning while we hung out a fencing tournament. So I asked her to go see a play. The play got cancelled and we ended up walking around town and then having a VERY casual dinner not a romantic setting what so ever. Although I'm into her I didn't make any advances and never got that warm sort of exciting feeling from someone coming close to you. But since I was interested in making advances I asked later that night if that was a date. She explained that she had a boyfriend this caught off guard and I apologized etc. She then sent me her number (we only had Snapchat prior) and mentioned hanging out again over break. So I figured why not as long as I'm not making advances I'm not that asshole right? When we hung out things went pretty welI and we talked in a restaurant for two and a half hours. I felt like it would be better if I brought up the boyfriend and tried to ask questions (also I was curious and this is where I feel that I am the asshole) most of the time she just changed the topic. Eventually he called and she was somewhat rude to him asking if he needed anything or if it could wait. She then explained that he goes to a college very far away. She is very careful not to be touchy in ANY way and I have been too but she mentioned catching each other up on all the movies one of us hasn't seen and this seems like a recipe for disaster and heart break. Should I just slowly back off and only talk when we happen to see each other or am I okay to continue as long as she is okay? I feel like if I was the guy I would NOT be okay with this but I would also not want to be a controlling dick. (TL;DR New friend has a long distance relationship not sure if I'm the asshole for hanging out with her.)

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feGFgS2Epea6Zo2v4cq4aL5g3CQXdfo8

aoe2qn

AITA for moving up into my older sister's class against her wishes?

I'm not trying to be r/iamverysmart but, I've always been above average with academics, namely math and science. my older sister always disliked that and came up with excuses about why I was ahead of her when I'm a year younger. When I was in year 10 we tried more difficult math as I wasn't learning and she wanted to get ahead. I moved up two year levels from year 9 to year 11 (level one) and she moved up one year 10 to 11 in math 2 years ago, ahead of her, then she stopped competing over math, and at the end of last year dropped back a year to do calculus, as originally she'd gone into statistics (I was in calculus so we didn't worry about class over lap). All was good until this year I joked about visiting her physics class to confuse the teacher. She didn't know it was a joke, she wasn't listening fully, got really serious and said "**Don't.**" after I told her it was a joke she relaxed a bit and I laughed it off. She said it some more times over the next couple days about not doing physics, at that point I had no intention on doing it. Right now I'm in 13 calculus (level three) I'm ahead of the year 13's and working on my own thing, my year 12 calculus teacher came up one day said I should move into year 12 physics (level two), I dismissed it because of my sister but wanted to do it. The next day I had my second science lesson, the first one was boring. I found out it would be recap for at least half a term and probably more, I just felt constrained. I thought about moving up to level two physics and possibly level two chemistry. That evening on the way home I casually mentioned moving up in science, my mum was immediately hooked and started sorting out the details with me. Up until this point I hadn't seriously thought about moving up, just some maybes in my mind. My mum sorted out the class changes and I got moved up into the subjects (my mum is a teacher) and it turned out there's only one physics class and one chemistry class so I'm in two of her classes. I attended one physics lesson when my sister was sick and that's all I've had. Today I went with her to her job interview to calm her a bit she was thankful. When we got home, because I thought she would take it better when she was happy with me, I just out right told her. I didn't want to just show up one day in her class. Now she's furious with me and I don't know what to do. I don't want to make her sad, but I didn't do this to piss her off, so I'm kind of annoyed she got upset. Am I the Asshole? ​ TL;DR: My one year older sister really didn't want me to move into her science classes and told me repeatedly not to after I joked about it, but my classes weren't teaching me anything and I felt restrained with learning, so I did. I ended up with her in two classes, she's now furious and I don't know if I'm in the wrong.

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ark62e

AITA for not allowing my sister to host her kid's birthday party at my house?

My sister has 14 kids. It's as chaotic and nightmarish as you can imagine. Usually she never asks to come over to my place because it's a nightmare to travel with 14 kids to come visit their auntie who lives 5 hours away. If we're having a gathering it's always me who is travelling to their place. I don't really mind. We only meet a few times a year. ​ A few years ago I bought my dream house with my husband. My sister asked to host my nephew's 3rd birthday party at my house. She wants to use the big backyard, grill and pool at my home. There are roughly 50 people who are invited. I said no and she called me selfish and an asshole. Her kids have never been to my house and I prefer it that way. Her kids are not very well behaved except for the oldest three and my house is not child-poof. The pool seems like a huge liability. I don't want children drowning on my property. It just seems like a recipe for disaster. She brought up the fact that she hosted Christmas at her house for the past 10+ years at her house, but I don't think it's fair to compare this to that. We meet at her house instead of our parents because she has 14 kids to herd around so it's really more out of convenience to her. Every year for the past 10+ years I buy dessert enough to feed 25 people so I've done my part with the food arrangements. That's 8 apple pies or 3 cakes worth of dessert. My parents also stay over to help prepare and cook and we all contribute to the washing and cleaning. ​ We haven't spoken in 2 months because of this. She firmly believes AITA. So, AITA for not allowing my sister to host my nephew's birthday party at my house? ​

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a8gr21

WIBTA for withdrawing in a deliberate attempt to 'punish' my friends

Throwaway account, because I'm about to expose an ugly, vindictive side of myself. This isn't who I am, but it is who I'm being today apparently. Short version of a long story: we all live together. My friend rejected me and within two weeks was sneaking into our other friend's room (right next door to mine) at night. She knew how I felt. They had no immediate plans to tell me, and it only came out when they made some bad drunken decisions. They're clearly remorseful and did not intend for this to happen. When they say they didn't tell me out of fear of what it would do to our friendship, I believe them. He's even gone as far as to check on me when we all left for Christmas with our families. The WIBTA part: I'm only intermittently angry about it anymore, even though it's only been a week. I know (or I tell myself that I know) that a relationship with him wouldn't have worked out long term anyway. I don't like that they're doing it, and I don't like that they were going behind my back, but I understand why it reached this point. Just so we're clear, I'm hurt, but not to the point that I couldn't act normal and work on rebuilding the friendship as soon as we're all back together in the new year. The problem is that I don't want to. It feels like it isn't fair. Why should they say 'sorry about that', and then get each other and me too? Why am I always the second choice? Why does trusting people always end so badly for me? Why aren't I ever good enough? I'm so sick and tired of trying so hard and giving myself to people and being walked all over like I'm too dumb to fight back, and having to walk away to maintain any shred of dignity. I feel like a pet. Stroke her head, give her a treat, and go right back to keeping her around for the banter and the bloody homework help. I don't want to let them get away with it this time. These aren't the same friends that let me down before, and this isn't the same situation, but goddamn it I'm so sick of it and I want some sort of punishment. I want to look him in the face and say 'you can't have everything you want'. I want to tell her that I 'misplaced my trust'. And I want it to hurt. There's a lot besides this going on. My health, my family, my degree. And maybe that's why I'm so eager to overreact. I'm being spiteful. I am 100% being spiteful. There's nothing damaged here that can't be fixed. I just want to delay fixing it while I get to hold the power for a while. I'm tired and I'm stressy and I don't know when my life got so bloody messy, and I never get to be in control. Can you understand that? I want to do a bad thing, but am I an asshole for feeling this way?

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b5xd4z

AITA for using BCC emails?

I'm one of a team of brand specialists at a technology vendor. My teammates represent different vendors, and as a result are effectively my competitors. As a team we are pretty tight knit and we pride ourselves on our close professional relationships built around transparency. In times past, we uncovered many situations where sales reps were plying us against each other in an effort to see who could jump the highest (not unlike watching two dogs fight over a bone). One way I keep my teammates in the know is to BCC them on a reply to a rep who I suspect of using underhanded tactics to get a sale. It's been fairly successful in keeping things on the level, and we haven't faced any pushback. Jump to today when I BCC a teammate of mine on an email to a rep who I suspect of being shady. My teammate was sick at home and not reading properly, and responds to the email I had BCC-ed him on. The sales rep goes off on me by saying that looping people in via BCC is "sneaky and lame". I don't think I did anything wrong except maybe not giving him the benefit of the doubt. I told him I how he operates is up to him, and how I do so is up to me and me alone. I continued that if he has an issue, he is more than welcome to take it up with me personally or with my management team. He declined the offer. AITA for sticking to my guns on this one?

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apwnd8

AITA for telling my ex that I don't care?

So this happened a while back, and I actually think it was quite funny. But the other day, some friends and I were sharing some stories about our exes, and some of them said I was an asshole for doing this, so I wanted to see what the general consensus was on this. So about a month after her and I broke up, we were going to try to remain friends. Now, I didn't really want to do this, ass she was a truly rude, irritating, and all around bad person, but I decided I would respond to her texts and not be rude to her (despise her being very rude to me on a regular basis) because I felt bad about the fact that she had pretty much no friends to support her after the breakup. One day, she started texting me, and this is basically how it went. Her: Hey Me: Hey, what's up Her: Nothing really, just hanging out at my house Me: Cool, me too Her: Yeah I'm just doing some stuff with my makeup, but you probably don't care about that *proceeds to send a very long message about the stuff she's doing with her makeup* Me: Yeah you're right I didn't really care about that lol Then she basically texted me calling me a selfish asshole and that she never wanted to be friends in the first place and only said that because she felt bad for me (side not, I actually found out later from one of her "friends" who actually hates her more than I do that she only wanted to stay friends so that if she couldn't find a "better" guy than me she could just come back. Lovely girl.). After that we didn't talk at all, and I don't think we have exchanged more than a few words since that day. Anyway, AITA?

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azp292

AITA for making a move on a chick with a bf

Long time watcher, first time poster so sorry if my formats a bit off. TL;DR at the bottom Bit of backstory first; Known this girl (we'll call her Susan) since we were 16, we are both currently 20 Liked her when we went to school together. I recently got out of a 3 year relationship and was starting to mingle again on insta when Susan messaged me and liked all my photos so I replied and started talking to her. We spoke non stop for a couple of days and set up a date to catch up. A day before the date she told me she is dating this guy and didn't say to much else. I didn't know what to think and my mate adviced me to go on the date anyway and suss it out. Went out on the date with her, Picked her up, went out for lunch and had a chat then saw a movie. I felt like she had given me a few mixed signals and wasn't too sure what her intentions were. My Intentions were to suss things out and see what the go was with her bf. We sat down in the movie and halfway through I thought fuck it, I'll just hold her hand and if she pulls away I will know Susan's intentions straight away. Go to grab her hand She places it in mine and holds it for about 2mins before letting go. After the movie we spoke about it and she told me that in high school she also had a crush on me but she doesn't want to disrespect her bf 2 days later we are still talking and things seem to be okay She said we can't see each other again for a while though because her bf doesn't want her seeing TL;DR I went on a date with a chick with a bf and held her hand. Am I the asshole

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MA3UD4cFWjU6lxfeiFwHzPgpl0aMlQm6

autm6u

AITA for liking Kpop when I'm white / posting a non-meme on a meme page?

I'm a 19 year old white kid who attends university in NY state. I got into Kpop (Korean pop, just in case you don't know) in December 2017. I adore the groups I've gotten into. I try very hard not to objectify or fetishize the men and women of the groups I like. Liking Kpop has gotten me more interested in Korean culture – I've started learning the language and I'm thinking of studying abroad in Seoul soon. One of the groups I really love is coming to New Jersey soon. When I talked to my parents, they said they thought it would be best if I went with a friend or at least a concert buddy. The problem is, I don't have many friends, especially any that like Kpop. There used to be a Facebook page for my class, but it somehow got deleted. So, I posted in my school's meme page instead. Now, it does say that the page should be memes only, but others have posted off topic posts (snow day announcements, lost items, etc) in the past. I also post fairly often (once or twice a month) with on-brand content so I figured I could post something. I can't give you exact wording, but I linked to an ad for the concert with the caption being something like "I know this is off topic but if you or anyone you know would like to see some Korean boys dance around for a few hours, let me know!" And I left it alone. I came back a few hours later and couldn't find the post. I thought it was lost in the shuffle, but then I saw this (word for word, minus the school name) posted by a mod (a Filipina student.) "official psa: this is a meme group. therefore, please only post memes related to the ~school name~ experience here. aka keep your racial fetishization koreaboo shit (and also all racial discrimination) out of here thx - mgmt" I don't know this person - never met them. What I'm wondering I guess is AITA for liking Kpop when I'm white, or if there was something in my post that could be viewed as "racial fetishization koreaboo shit." Thanks y'all. TL;DR: I'm white, I like kpop. Posted about a kpop concert on a school meme page. Mod who I've never met deletes the post and calls me a koreaboo.

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a8snyf

AITA for interviewing elsewhere when I've already accepted a job?

I accepted a job but don't start for another couple of weeks. It's overseas and there's more paperwork, so they have been patient on their end. I had applied to many places when I first started looking, but one of them that I'm really interested in had only recently contacted me. Without having worked at either, I could envision myself being happier in this position. Well I interviewed, and it went really well. They have asked to speak to my references. The problem is, 2 of my references know I've accepted the former job, and are making me feel bad/guilting me about what I'm doing. I'm hurt and angered they would make me feel this way, but does this really make me an asshole?

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OTHER

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NThdxOCxZA7oHqXKIvC3sVU8yb3QON6V

9u3n09

AITA for leaving school and moving 30 minutes away from my gf?

So my girlfriend of 2.67 years and I both go to the same college and until recebtly we were both RAs, I graduated last year but due to some unforeseen classes and requirements I was going to have to take another 1-2 years to complete my second major. I also learned that this would cost me $50,000-$60,000. I didn't think I could afford this (it would be more than the first four years combined) so I decided to transfer to a cheaper school to complete my certification, but I'm still taking 3 classes at my first school for prerequisites. Also, I was promoted to head RA at the end of last year, but since living on campus would cost me $15,000 I believed it was best to quit that job, move home with my dad, and work full time at my other job. The issue comes with my relationship, because I'm now living and working 30 minutes away, I don't get to see my girlfriend a lot. I still go down every day and we will often spend a few hours together most week days, and saturday but all semester she has often brought up how I ditched her or abandoned her or "chose money over our relationship" and I do understand that not seeing each other as much as we used to is hard and frustrating but I also don't feel like I made an unreasonable or ridiculous decision in moving home. She also gets upset whenever I have free time that I have to use doing things like cleaning up my room (everything is just strewn everywhere and there are piles of my stuff from when I moved) or spending time with my dad, when I could be spending it with her, although I do kinda understand as there is not much time for her and I to be together and that's all she really wants. But she often attacks me and says that I'm an asshole for the choice that I made.

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O5bY15WcDJGhV3tUXEd6qyrSexyxJ4C2

b0spb2

AITA for being pissy with my roommate/friend/ co worker?

So, as the title suggests, I spend a lot of time with this individual. As such, I understand that we are, at some point, bound to have a spat. Still, when it happened today, I was left pretty floored by it. We work at a shoe store. Sometimes when looking for shoes in the stock room we take the display from the floor; “singles,” part of the job is to put them back. She left a shoe there, I picked it up and (very obviously jokingly) said “forgetting something?” We joke around with each other, “razzing” one and other like this constantly, it’s always in good nature. So imagine my surprise when she turned around and spat something along the lines of “don’t even give me attitude for that, ____, because you’re the worst one for it.” And stormed off. A. I am most certainly not the worst one for it, and she should be the last one saying I am. B. What the fuck? So I’m generally pretty timid, especially with her, but that left my jaw hanging to the floor. So I picked up the single, followed her out, slapped it on the shelf, said “FYI, I was joking” and walked away. She then followed me back and said “don’t take that attitude with me” in the bitchiest voice; she is a shift lead and I am an associate but I thought it was so fucked to flex on me like that as we should be friends before anything else. After that we ignored each other for a bit, until I asked her if she was mad at me and she said “no not at all,” but continued to ignore me. I later bought her a cookie on my lunch break and things were pretty normal for the rest of the shift. I have some other issues with the living situation which I’ve never bought up because I didn’t really mind them, they’re just unfair, but depending on how the talk goes when she gets home after her shift I may just unload it all in one big surprise package.

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AUTHOR

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tPIHtdH7ZdZgOsg9O97gB8zNaHksVYgM

acwrb8

AITA for telling my sister she shouldnt be angry about waiting?

Last night my sister and I went to McDonald's. We hadn't eaten all day and no one wanted to make dinner at home We got our burger meals and some other stuff and proceeded to wait in the corner we always do. It was about 6 p.m on a Friday, which I'm not sure about where other people live, it can get pretty packed in fast food joints. The place did have a lot of people but wasn't entirely as full as I've seen before in other locations. There was also 2 long tables in the back completely full of people who had ordered their food to be delivered to them at the table. I'm gonna estimate it was about 10 people at each table We waited about 12 minutes and my sister spoke up and said "if we get to 20 minutes I'm going to say something" and I was kind of thrown off, she's never done anything like that and was embarrassed by the THOUGHT of her doing it, but didn't actually think she would. I told her "well, there's lots of people who got their food delivered to the table, plus there's lots of people standing and waiting, we did order a lot, and you have to take into consideration that there might be training employees" She didn't care and just repeated that she was gonna ask for the manager. I myself was getting a bit upset only because I have social anxiety and hate being in small crowded places for longer than necessary. I would never say anything to a manager though. We got our food around 17 minutes in. When we got home I told our step mom about how my sister was about to talk to the manager, and my sister got upset again. I brought up "maybe it was an unexpected rush" as this specific McDonald's doesn't usually get that busy often. She decided to practically yell "they should know when the rushes are! They should be more prepared!" I couldn't handle having the conversation with her so I just took my food and went to my bedroom. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be near one of those "can I speak to the manager" people?

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qtJUF3dLPNZdkFePY4M89cFZnFvWe6lb

b72y3s

AITA for not missing people

This is something that has bothered me and made me think I might be crazy but I’ve always had trouble missing people. As a child when my parents would go on vacation and leave me with my sibling (they are older and took care of me during those times) I wouldn’t really miss them or feel the need to call or message them. Same for my siblings , when my sister left the house I didn’t miss her. And now I’m in a serious relationship for 2 years and she’s in college but we do get to see eachother everyday but when she goes home on break it feels as if she never really left you know and I don’t necessarily miss her. I’m just wondering if this is normal or asshole behavior

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NOBODY

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uiTT1Wm3VPwpoRUAYVhGnbF24BnHmGGU

b5w2k8

AITA for faking an emergency to get a girl to leave my house and not stay the night?

So I spent the day with this girl who I’ve seen a couple times. It’s a girl I’ve known from school years ago, but we have reconnected in recent months. I spent the weekend at her place a few weeks ago and we had a great time. This weekend past we had arranged for her to come to mine and spend the night. We went out in the day and I showed her around the town I live in as she’d never been there (we both live away from where we grew up). We got food and then went back to my place. Adult activities occurred (side note, not the first time we’ve slept together). We were then watching tv and I just was not feeling it. I didn’t really want her to spend the night anymore and I kinda just wanted her to leave. Anyway, my mumsy called me. I told the girl that I had to take the call, and went downstairs and just chatted to my mum for about 5 minutes. As I was sat downstairs a plan formed in my head. It was 9pm. I went back upstairs in a bit of a fluster and I told the girl, “hey, I’m really sorry for this but I need to leave. You’re welcome to stay here and leave in the morning if you want to but I need to go.” She was super understanding and said “oh my god that’s totally fine, these things happen, I hope everything is okay” etc. We left the house at the same time, I got into my car and drove off as she was sorting out her satnav. I drove around for about 15 minutes then returned home and just chilled by myself and then went to bed. AITA? I didn’t want her to stay the night and I knew I wouldn’t be good company, so I made a decision that would mean I wouldn’t come across as rude or not that into her. We have spoken since and everything is fine.

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NJOIwG0F4eFvsIqiwx2UlCLGhgHRy30d

9uoih3

AITA

For thinking that if I get in line to order behind you and then you let two of your friends come and get in line with you, that you should at least offer to let me go ahead of you?

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Xlo86K01ArdlyIJcC46GTYRKtzh2HA1R

aadfa6

AITA for baking cookies for an event and another batch for my classmates and grandmother(birthday) and not giving them to my family?

So I found a great chocolate-chip cookie recipe and I have a special event on monday where we bring homemade cookies and give them away to people on the streets for free as a tribute for a deceased teen who enjoyed baking and sweet things. So I made one batch for that and another batch that I split in half. 10 cookies as a gift for my grandmother's birthday, 10 others for my classmates because they saved me from suicide and that is my gift to them for it. I made the whole thing myself(I'm 14 btw) and didn't intend on eating them. So I put both batches (after they were done) into two different plates and wrapped them so they could cool down outside. ​ That really pissed off my mom and dad and they started saying: "Why don't we get anything? Do we not deserve them?" Me: They are meant to bring to school and the other's are gifts Mom: "Gtfo of here, you ungrateful child" Did I do something wrong? I know it's a little stupid to leave them out but our fridge is too full and they don't fit. I spent 2.5 hours making those cookies because it took me a while to get the recipe right. I just didn't want to spend more time in our small ktchen where everyone always bothers me and moves my shit for no reason. AITA?

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oI3bzNvt5s58znanGjTuKfPznJaGhgzP

b19gzn

AITA for giving money which i didn’t earn to a poor woman?

I (M29) quit my job about 4 years ago to come and live with my partner (M38) but “havent been able” to find a job here - rural area with only blue collar work I’m not qualified for, but kinda refuse to work my ass off as a bartender or similar for a very low payment in this area while i could earn much more for bartending in the capital city where i came from, and maaaybe I also find it defeating to work on such a level after going through a lot for education (bachelor IT). My partner knows this but has a job that pays well enough so he can provide for both of us. That’s why he suggested I move here in the first place. I don’t spend much and don’t treat him as a suggar daddy i guess. He gets necessities, food (which i cook) and pays the bills and gives me some cash monthly to cover potential expenses and for my personal needs (around 70€). I consider myself very low maintenance. We’re together for 7 years now and we were doing great until a few weeks ago when this happened: I went to visit my parents and after arriving to the bus station I decided to save some cash by not calling a cab (expensive here). During hopping on and off public transport i saw this poor woman digging through trash cans, searching for plastic bottles (which are refundable here for some small amounts of money). It was freezing and the wind was blowing like crazy and she was obviously shaking. I usually don’t give money to beggars because there are a lot of scammers here disguised as them. This lady wasn’t begging but minding her business and trying to find as many bottles in the freezing cold to earn some cents. So yeah, i felt bad for her and decided to give her 20€ to go buy whatever she needs (probably food because she’s obviously desperate) and go home to warm herself up and take a few days off from bottle collecting (cold week forecast). She burst into tears, wasn’t sure if she wanted to accept it but did so in the end. She was very thankful and very humble. It was quite wholesome and i felt really good about it. When i told my bf about it he was furious because “that was money he earned, and it was meant for me, and he would rather have me spent it on a cab instead of durdling around with public transportation for hours in the cold”. He was concerned for my health but he was much more angered by the fact that i gave money away to a stranger which he earned for me. My argument was that if the money was for me, shouldn’t i be spending it how i want? He agreed but still thought giving it out to unknown people is unreasonable. Money was never an issue in our relationship till now and i fear this might change how we handle things from now on. In order to handle situations like this more gracefully in the future I’d really like to hear some other opinions. Tldr: i don’t have a job, my partner provides for me and i gave out cash i didn’t earn to a stranger in the streets.

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MVHAH3yG74nNwbrMK2sd52rTij5Sbm98

aqq1h3

AITA for thinking it’s unnecessary for my wife to add salad to my vegetarian cooking?

So this is how me (40M) and my wife's (46F) Valentine's romantic dinner without the kids was ruined. Talking about how to get our somewhat overweight kid more healthy, she said every meal has to include lots of salad. I pointed out that typically I cook vegetarian anyway - for example last night's meal was whole-meal pasta with (lots of) vegetables cooked in a tomato sauce - and that I don't think such meals typically need salad. At this point I could tell by her standard signals that she had suddenly got fairly upset. She started talking about how she has a right to salad at every meal. It's relevant at this point that I do about 2/3 of the cooking and my cooking is more work - she is more likely to do instant food, I chop more vegetables. She does sometimes add, say, a raw carrot to what I have provided, but by no means always. I said that when I cook, I feel like I'm providing a complete meal, and so I would feel put out if she was to add salad to it when I didn't as cook deem it necessary. I said this isn't a strange way to feel as someone who has cooked a meal for their family. In repeated circles of argument, I have pointed out that I have never and will never stop her eating salad, but I can't help that I feel like meals I provide should be regarded as sufficient, so I can't help feeling slightly put out if she acts like they are not, by adding salad at the last minute when I cooked something I didn't intend to include salad with. It's relevant that in her culture (Swedish) it is more normal to have a salad with absolutely everything, and not in mine (British). I pointed out that I understand her food-related desires and therefore will never try to stop her adding salad to what I cook, but I also pointed out I feel like she is making no attempt to understand how I feel. Her repeated response was "You have dropped a bomb-shell. I need salad with every meal but now I know every time I make salad when you cook you'll be feeling bad about it, this is terrible". And she remained really angry and has now gone to bed angry. I feel like she has over-reacted, that she got quickly angry rather than calmly allowing us to explore each other's valid but conflicting feelings. But perhaps I'm in fact the ass-hole (or as we Brits say arsehole)?

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AUTHOR

WRONG

QSQY0XVSq27BgYjxiGjUG0kSLLhyDFKJ

9v4yxo

AITA for not wanting to talk to my mom?

Hello everyone, Before I begin my story, just want to let everyone know this is a throwaway account (username checks out) just because a lot of my irl friends have easy access to my main account. Alright, so throughout my childhood I have been regarded as the kid with strict parents. Things such as not being able to watch sponge bob until I was 14, having a flip phone until I was 13, and having a bed time of 8:30 until I was a sophomore in highschool (16). My grades were stellar in elementary school, and somewhat faltered in middle school, but nothing worse then a C. Freshman year was rocky due to my parents divorce, and eventually I picked up my game and have a GPA of around 4.45 and high SAT scores. Ever since my mom has gotten divorced, she has more and more often become on edge and in general uptight. I hang out with friends almost every weekend, and my schedule is constantly packed with my energetic dog, soccer, gymnastics, school, etc and I really don’t have much relaxing time to myself. One way I was raised was to speak my feelings, and often times I do however this is one case I don’t know whether or not I should. The main point of this post is my problem. My mom has been lonely ever since her divorce and basically requires me to talk to her. Rules have been put into effect such as no phones when in the car with her, no phone when in the same room as her, even if she walks into the room I was already in; I am expected to drop everything to talk to her. I feel as if I shouldn’t have to fill that job in her life, my schedule is busy enough and it isn’t like I don’t spend time with her. We have a good relationship and I talk to her easily for about 45 minutes a day (doesn’t sound like a lot but it is). Am I the asshole for not spending more time with her even though my schedule rarely allows for more then an hour of personal time a night (not counting YouTube at night)?

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D2KKSX2gQ3cacktQAzguDWiZrv1pdEa8

a8qcmd

AITA for ending my friendship with a friend of almost 8 years and promising myself to never help him again?

So, this has actually happened a while ago. I had a friend, let's call him Charlie, for the sake of the story, and we got to know each other way back in high school and instantly got along. I have been with him when he was going through a lot of bad things, when people kept leaving him, he had his heart broken, started doing drugs, became an alcoholic addict (this will be important in the story), and more. And each time I truly, honestly wanted to help him and I was trying to, to the best of my abilities and knowledge, expecting only that he'd do the same to me in return. Now, his life finally got a lot better. He stopped drinking in an addicted manner, stopped with the drugs, found a girlfriend, found a temporary job abroad and moved there for almost a year. During the time when he was there, our contact started to vanish, more and more, but I did what I could to make sure it's still there (he rarely wrote to me on his own). Now, not so late ago, he was back to our country and made a "goodbye party", because he was moving abroad permanently. At some point into the party, everyone was having a good time, and Charlie suddenly got up and announced that he wanted to say something. According to his own words, he had 2 extremely close friends that helped him to get through all of the bad stuff he had in life, through his problems and that were supporting him whenever needed. As the first one, he pointed at his close friend that he has known since he was a small kid, and that was totally okay with me, that's natural, they have known each other for at least several years. However, when it came to the second person... I naturally assumed that it'd be me. But it didn't happen. Instead, he pointed at the guy that, as far as I'm aware, never had any good contact with Charlie, and that actually was contributing to his addictions, especially the alcoholic one. After some more time passed, during which Charlie was praising them and I was sitting there, just thinking how come that it's the second guy standing there instead of me, I finally asked Charlie to go somewhere else and talk. I simply confronted him. Told him that I see it as unfair and that it made me feel extremely unappreciated by him and asked why it was him instead of me. I think that what he said will stick with me for the rest of my life. He said that during all those times when I thought I was helping him to goy through whatever trouble he had in life, I actually wasn't, because he, according to his own words, didn't want to be comforted and assured that things are going to be okay, he didn't want ideas on how to solve his problems, he wanted to be punched in the face and ordered to get his shit together, which, according to Charlie, the second "friend" provided to him. I was shocked, and barely could say anything, but I didn't have to. Charlie simply concluded this short conversation that he'll call me the next day, so we can meet and talk about it in detail, but for now he's going to enjoy his goodbye party. Of course, as you can expect, he never called and never gave any sign of life. Since then, I haven't contracted him in any way and I'm not planning to. He's dead to me. If he's going to get into some shit again, I'll tell him to fuck off, no matter what that is or how bad that is. That's a promise I made to myself. Am I the asshole for that? Am I the one in the wrong?

HISTORICAL

EVERYBODY

WRONG

3cwbGnylCvDbrMmmAyvaQkRAP3J3Wuzk

9zstie

AITA for dropping my friend who has become a militant vegan?

**TL;DR** One of my (21F) best friends (21F) from high school has always been passionate about animal welfare, was a normal vegan for a while, but over the last several months has become an insanely militant vegan. Whenever we hang out, the events centre around her veganism. Her social media is nothing but preachy vegan stuff and photos of animal gore. Sick of it and not really interested in being friends anymore. **Full background:** Junior year of high school, M and I had basically the same class schedule. We ended up becoming best friends. She's such a lovely, cool person and I've always regarded her as being one of the nicest people I know. She was always the friend who would say "It's not nice to talk about people" if my other friends and I were gossiping about someone. She's always been passionate about animals, has an "ADOPT DON'T SHOP" sticker on her car (which I agree with!) and would only buy meat from small farmers who treated their animals with compassion. She's also into a sustainable, no-waste lifestyle. Overall I have the same values and I admire her. Beyond these passions, she was always super fun too -- we could go out dancing at the bars, to concerts, talk about boys and all that silly stuff. We're now seniors at the same university. Her major is sustainability. I really respect this and I'm so happy she's following her passions. Near the beginning of uni she became full-on vegan. Cool! I admire the vegan lifestyle and am interested in trying it out sometime, but now I'm not interested in changing my whole lifestyle. I love meat and dairy etc. and don't have the discipline for it at this point in time. But I still like vegan food. So a lot of the time when M and I would hang out, she'd take me to her favourite vegan restaurants. I enjoyed this at first -- this was a new experience for me and I liked broadening my palate. We'd also go to nature trails a lot, which isn't really my thing, but she loves that stuff. I would enjoy it but it wasn't super exciting. The main thing is we'd always have good conversations and I enjoy her company. In March or April we went to a vegan food festival in my town. I really enjoyed it and we had a good time, except for one thing. I do not like PETA. I think they're a nutty extremist group who only hinders their cause instead of spreading it. There was a PETA booth at the festival, and M stayed for a while and got info from them. I didn't really say anything but I basically ignored the PETA people. M said I should go with her to a PETA protest that was coming up. I said no and we sort of argued about whether or not PETA is a good organisation. A few weeks later a local brewery was having an event where they were showing the new Planet Earth series. I don't like beer but I went with her anyway. I was bored and realised we were yet again doing what only she wanted. I think that's the last time I hung out with her. Over the next few months I invited M to several things. I invited her to the movies, the farmers market and some other random stuff I was up to. She never came to anything I wanted to do. In August, another of our best friends turned 21. It was a really big, fun night! But M didn't come. She didn't even give a reason. I thought this was unbelievably shitty. A month or so later I invited her to a restaurant that I've been to with her once before. She couldn't come, but made sure to tell me "they have really good seitan dishes! I promise you can't tell the difference, you should order that." She can't come with me to the restaurant but she's still pushing me to order fucking vegan food. I ordered chicken pho. A couple weeks later I invited her to yet another thing -- it involved nature and she totally would've liked it -- but yet again she couldn't come... That was the last time I talked to her. Since around the start of summer, M's social media has gone full-blown militant vegan, along with her sister. She joined an Anonymous for the Voiceless chapter and she's actually one of the leaders of it. They stage protests around town which I find a bit crazy. Every day she posts stuff online about how people need to become vegan, all the terrible stuff the meat and dairy industries do, how people need to become zero-waste like her, etc. It's her passion and her social media, so whatever, not that big a deal even though I think it's over the top and kind of annoying. What I really hate is that she regularly posts pictures and videos of animal gore. I agree with her that this stuff is really important and these industries need serious regulation and overhaul in order to treat animals more humanely, but I don't want to see these images. It's disgusting and upsetting to me, along with all our other friends and my mother who is connected to her social media too. She literally posts this crap all day long. I find it a bit pathetic that she obviously spends so much time researching and planning what to post on social media, especially because she always used to be the "live in the moment and put your phone away" kind of person. She clearly dedicates hours every day to social media activism. I guess that's what she was doing when she missed out on our best friend's 21st birthday. Overall, I don't want to be M's friend anymore. She's become a judgy asshole who constantly posts animal gore on social media and won't stop shoving veganism down everyone's throats. I admire that she's following her passions, but I judge her for being such a dick about it. She's a really awesome person and I miss her like crazy but I just can't handle the bombardment. **AITA for not wanting to be her friend anymore because of her dedication to veganism?** My other friends think we should try to ask her to tone down her posts but I don't want to do that. I just want to forget about her honestly. I muted her on Instagram and unfollowed her on Facebook. I'm hoping one day she'll sort of come back down to earth and chill out with all that shit, but I kind of don't think I want to bother waiting around for that. I won't text her or invite her to anything. **I don't know what I'll do if she finally texts me again or invites me to something... What should I do if she does?**

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8t1fBK8gdmr7T5kjp5jWuUswwpOA91F0

aad5t5

AITA For wanting my photos taken down from my mums Facebook page, even though it upset her.

The day before this incident there was a fight in the car between my sister and Mum. Long story short my Mum broke some of my sisters stuff and they were shouting. I then spoke up. Later I commented on my Mums Facebook profile asking her to take some photos of me down. I don’t like Facebook and the privacy seems sketchy. Her profile is private but I don’t know who is on it. She started trying to get my Nan on her side as she was upset I would do that. They both disagreed with me so I tried to explain. Now my sister is also against me. Notes: I never gave permission for the photo to be up. I mentioned the car part as that was half the reason I spoke up. My mum was sad that I wanted the photos down. I only recently realised there were photos on Facebook of me.

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a3t0bf

AITA for telling someone "No" at the gym to use a machine they were 15 minutes late to get on?

Some context about the YMCA I go to, they have a signup page when you walk into the cardio room. You sign up in 30 minute blocks for a machine. If it's 5 minutes past when you signed up, then you're considered a "No Show" and anyone can use the machine for the remaining time. I've been back home living with my parents for a few months and gone to the gym almost every day to lose weight and get in shape. Sometimes people are signed up at 12:00, it's 12:10, I hope on the machine and no issues, sometimes people aren't signed up. I've had people signed up to machines next to me, never showed up, it happens all the time. ​ I get to the gym and changed, go into the cardio room and Eliptical #5, is taken and signed up for. Eliptical #6 is signed up for, but no one is on it. They signed up 1:30-2:00, it's 1:45. I sign up for 2, no big issue always done it this way. There are 3 people in the room, all on machines, it's not very busy. I go 45 minutes, so I'll be done by 2:30. ​ As I'm putting stuff on the machine a guy walks up and says to me "I signed up for 1:30, this is my machine, I am taking it". I look at the clock and mention it's 1:45, it's my understanding if it's 1:35 and no one is on the machine anyone can hop on it. "No, I signed up for 1:30, this is my machine, I am taking it". I tell him "no". Which, he does not like. He calls me a "Fucking asshole" and it's his machine. I said he was the one being an asshole. He said he was "On the bike warming up" and I again tell him "Its 1:45". He eventually walks off basically pissed off I said no to his "I am taking this machine". ​ I start my workout and he comes back and says he checked by the sign in and says he doesn't see the "5 minute rule" posted anywhere. I told him that was my understanding and all I got was repeated "well where is it posted!" responses. The guy who was on #5 at one point mentions he can have his machine he is almost done. I stopped responding to the guy being a dick and he goes to another machine. After a minute I get off the machine, walk by him and mentioned something similar to "I'm going to the front to make sure, if I am wrong I'm sorry the machine is yours". He said to not worry about it, but I walk past him to the front. I explained the situation and they said there is a 5 minute rule, and they're calling "charlie" to go talk to him. The front desk apologizes and mentions it happens from time to time. The sign was taken down cause they're doing a new sign up thing soon I guess. ​ I go back to the room and start my workout and hear staff talking to him. He's very short "I understand", "ok", "didn't know ok". He wasn't in a mood to talk to staff who was explaining the rule to him. He even told staff I was an "asshole" and they told him no need for that type of language. So he just confirmed what I told them anyways about what he said to me. ​ I've told my parents, ex-gf, and a friend. My ex-gf said I was in the wrong and to give him the machine. My parents think I should "be the bigger man and apologize for the misunderstanding" and my friend said I was in the right. I do not see a reason I am in the wrong. If he would've literally said anything else to me, than the first sentence being a complete dick I would've let him have the machine for the last 15 minutes. He could've said "I am running late, was warming up on the bike, I only need the elliptical for 10 minutes" - fine, he can use it. ​ Before anyone even says "let him have it and use another machine", it's the principle and I have been pushed around my entire life letting people walk over me. #5 and #6 elliptical also have TVs, the rest do not. He straight out the gate was rude and a complete asshole, and I calmly explained the situation to him. Almost anything else in a nicer tone I would've been like "sure no problem I will hop on at 2 after you". I wasn't having the asshole attitude straight out the gate from him, on top of being called a fucking asshole for saying no. ​ I don't feel like I am the asshole, not sure if it's more of a Change My View post than if I am the asshole because the establishment agreed with me and the rules they set in place. I didn't make the rules, I explained them to him. I don't see a reason for me to ever apologize to him. I would've given him the machine if he was nicer even though I didn't have to. ​ TLDR: Gym has a sign up, 5 minutes late anyone can take your machine. Guy signed up 1:30-2:00, didn't say anything till I was getting on the machine at 1:45. Was a dick out the gate saying it's his machine he's taking it, and I told him no. I was called a "fucking asshole" before going to the front to make sure I wasn't wrong about the rules. He called me an 'asshole' to staff when they explained it to him. ex-gf says I should've given the machine up, parents think I need to be the bigger man and "apologize for the misunderstanding, friend I told said I was fine the guy is an asshole and didn't like being not given his way. ​ ​

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AITA because I got mad at work and will probably leave because I wasn’t even interviewed for a minor promotion? I had trained for the job for over a year. The new boss hired someone she knew from another location

I have been doing the job for weeks after my lead left and received good reviews. My boss said that I could apply and would get an interview. Was never interviewed and it seems the choice had been made when I asked. AITA ? I am qualified and can do the job with my eyes closed.

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Ipi77dAibUdTdZuAOlfLb0VAG1CpcH4G

azaf6g

AITA For Not Wanting to go Down on my GF?

We're both 22 and been together for 8 months, and I don't go down on her. I'm just not into it at all, I've done it with an ex before and I just didn't like doing it. Now my gf's box is very nice and nothing is wrong with it at all but I just don't want to do it. She does blow me a lot and I told her she doesn't have too since I don't go down on her but she said she likes blowing me. She was disappointed at the start of the relationship when I told her this but she got over it quickly and I please her in other ways. Last night her friend was over and I guess she told her about me not going down on her and her friend started berating me and saying I'm an immature little boy, ass clown and that a "real" man eats pussy. I just said I'm not into it but was weird she brought it up. ​ AITA?

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AITA for wasting the time of someone who is trying to get me to join a pyramid scheme?

On mobile, so sorry for any formatting issues. Also using a throwaway. So back in college, I met this guy (M) in one of my classes. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and struggled with a lot of the assignments. Now, I would regularly help out a few struggling classmates with their assignments. One day, M found our study group and asked for help on the particular assignment we were currently working on in our group. I told him that I would be happy to help, but M didn’t have the assignment on him at the time, so he asked if he could email me the assignment and if I could help him later that night since the assignment was due the next day. I said that was fine, but I had work later so he would have to wait until later that night. I got home from work and found an email from M in my inbox. He sent me what he had so far and it was clear that he put in little to no effort. Everything was either completely wrong or incomplete. I took roughly an hour to reply to him with a very thoughtful, well-written, constructive email with feedback on what he can do to improve his work. He later replied and instead of saying “Thanks for your help” or asking a follow up question, I got the letter “K”. A “K” in return for the time I took out of my evening to analyze his shitty work and explain to him what the professor had already explained in class. I was pissed, and I didn’t help him after that. A few weeks later after the class I had with M ended, I was working on an assignment in one of the common areas on campus and M found me. He came and sat down next to me and started bragging about how he had made $400 working 40 hours at his internship. I wasn’t having it, so I made up some excuse, got up and left. I didn’t see him much after that, but I heard from a lot of friends that he would regularly manipulate people to do his assignments for him and brag about how much money he was making to everyone and anyone. Fast forward to present day, all of my friends graduated college and we are all working jobs that we enjoy. One day out of the blue, I got an invitation from M to connect on LinkedIn. At first, I was just going to decline it, but my curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see what he was up to, so I accepted. I saw his profile and it didn’t appear that he was able to hold onto any job for longer than a few months, which wasn’t surprising since the guy would just have other people do his assignments for him. I told my friends who knew him and we all had a good laugh about it since it seemed like this manipulator got what he deserved. A few days later, he messaged me on LinkedIn asking me if I was enjoying my current job. I just ignored it and went on living life. A few weeks after that, he messaged me again asking the same question. Again, I ignored it and moved on. Then a few days ago, he messaged me once more asking if I ever consider employment opportunities outside and in addition to my current job. For the hell of it, I replied saying that I do and I asked him what he had in mind. The TL;DR of the conversation we had over a week is that he was working with a wealthy couple who set him up with the opportunity to help other individuals start their own business selling products and services. He bragged about how this opportunity was going to allow him to retire in two years and by joining this MLM (pyramid scheme) I could potentially retire early as well. The whole time he was really defensive about all of the details (he wouldn’t tell me specifically who he was working with, what products he was selling, etc.) Turns out, he was messaging my friends as well about he same “opportunity”. We all began replying to him and asking for more details just to waste his time. The way we see it, the more time he spends talking with us, the less time he has to actually manipulate someone who is unsuspecting. In his last message, he was asking if we could meet up for a “pre-interview” and I was going to finally just block him and move on with my life. However, I was telling one of the interns at work (who goes to the same school M and I went to) about this and he told me that M regularly makes trips out to campus to prey on unsuspecting students and try to get them to join his pyramid scheme. His latest victim has apparently been a special needs student and this just made me hate M more. I am thinking about scheduling a meeting with him out in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere just to waste more of his time and then just no-show and block him once and for all. So, Reddit, AITA for wasting his time and WIBTA if I schedule the pre-interview?

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AITA for telling my close friend to leave Starbucks

Okay so I live relatively close to a Starbucks and my close friend goes to the same Starbucks despite living across town, with numerous Starbucks near his place. I can't study when friends are around, and need space on my own. I told my friend to leave the Starbucks thats near me. AITA? Should I go to a different further Starbucks?

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1ZhepHdP8m8dKzTREAizgsLbI3av5Wzq

a18a7y

AITA for breaking up with my gf because she kept pressuring me to tell my parents about us? (w|w relationship)

Brief background info: I am a lesbian and have only recently come out to my immediate family (\~about 3 months ago, and it was by accident\~). The whole ordeal went 'okay' besides with my mom. She ended up disappearing for a few days, and by the time I left home to go back to university, we had only seen each other once before the beginning of the semester. She is very much still in denial, and rather than talk to me about it and hear my side of the story, she has not talked to me in person at all. She has only sent very hateful texts and a package to my apartment (which included a four page letter and bible). Basically she just keeps threatening the fact that she will never meet a future partner "if I choose this lifestyle" and has threatened not allowing me to meet my future nieces and nephews from my other siblings. \~This has all-around been an emotionally painful experience, and I am still worried for my future relationship with my mom\~ So now flash forward to today: I have been dating a girl at my school for a little over a month. Things have moved super fast and I have already met her mom and dad. She has been out since high school and all of her family is super supportive of her. From the very beginning of our relationship, she has been updated about the status of my mom and I's conflict. And since coming out is so recent for me, I told her I wasn't comfortable posting about our relationship on social media because I'm still not out to a few key family members and I also do not want to stir up more conflict between my mom and I. She said that she understood and wanted to be there for me throughout this ordeal. However, subtly throughout our relationship she's been holding that against me and hated that she was a secret to my family. (even though all of my siblings and other family members I am super close with know about her. it's really just my parents who don't). She also said she wanted to be in a relationship where she could be super involved with the family, which I can't promise for the time being based on my mom's current threats. As of right now, I am still somewhat on my parents' dime as I finish my last year at university, and I told her that I do not want to risk losing my education (my mom threatened to pull me from school) and that I'd rather wait until graduation to come out fully and tell my parents about our relationship. (my rational: we've only been together a month anyways) We have different ideas on how to approach this: I would prefer to wait to tell my parents because the relationship is fairly new and I don't want to risk my education. She thinks I should approach it head on and confront my mom. I completely understand that she does not want to be a secret to my parents for the time being--like the situation just sucks, ya know? Especially since she has been out of the closet for so long. Every time we talk about it, I always feel like we walk away from the conversation with an understanding of the situation and we both agree that it's just not worth breaking up over--at least for the time being. However, whenever we get in a disagreement about an unrelated topic, she will bring up my family situation and make me feel guilty about it. Then she will threaten whether or not I am worth the wait. (Which I am confused because even if I did surprise my parents by bringing her home, it would NOT be a pretty scene anyways?) ​ When I confronted her on this and said that I need to be with someone more understanding of my situation, she flipped her opinion around again and said that she was willing to stay with me and help me through this. I just didn't believe her based on previous behavior, so I broke up with her... Am I the asshole?

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AITA for not giving him his cigarettes?

Bf is trying to cut down on smoking. He buys a set amount and gives them to me. After his dinner cig he doesn’t want me to give him any until the next morning. Last night he had a really bad nightmare. He jerked awake so hard that it woke me up too. He was really shaken up. He wanted me to give him a cigarette to calm down. The agreement we made was that no matter how much he asked I wouldn’t give him a cigarette after he had his dinner one. So I refused. He got really mad and said he needed one and if I didn’t give him one he was still going to have one, that he would just have to drive to the store to get it. I still didn’t. He was so mad. He stormed out. I don’t know when he came back. He slept on the couch for the rest of the night. He did end up going to the store so maybe I should have just given him one. He really didn’t have to drive all the way to the store.

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apk660

AITA for not paying my roommate for groceries her mom bought without my permission?

So this happened a couple months ago, but honestly I’m still kind of appalled by it and I don’t really know what to think. So I’ve been living in an apartment with two roommates, and upon move in we all agreed to spend $30 each at the grocery store every time we go shopping. Both me and my first roommate, “Renee”, are on very strict budgets, so we can’t afford to spend more than that. Fast forward into sometime in the middle of last semester, things are going pretty great, our budget is going just as planned, and my second roommate, “Sarah”, shows up with her mom both carrying a bunch of groceries. She didn’t tell us she was going grocery shopping, and after her unpacking I saw that a lot of it was specialty items that Sarah must’ve picked out for herself. Most of them were organic items and looked very expensive. Renee and I didn’t really think anything of it, we just assumed they were for Sarah and we didn’t eat them, except for some shareable items such as milk, butter, and bagels in which Sarah told us we could have part of. A couple weeks go by, Sarah’s mom buys her groceries again, and this time Renee and I don’t eat any of them as most of it was individual stuff for Sarah. So fast forward about two months later, while we all were home from break, Sarah charges both Renee and I $65 EACH on Venmo, without any context or contacting us about it first. We both text Sarah in the group chat asking if this was mistake, and Sarah replies with, “No, this is for all the times my mom bought groceries and you didn’t pay her.” Keep in mind Sarah never told Renee and I that she was getting groceries, she just showed up at our apartment with them. She never asked us if we wanted anything, she just picked out things for herself, which in turn Renee and I didn’t each much of because we assumed they were for her only. We had agreed on a budget, and these extra grocery trips were clearly not a part of the original agreement. Also, Sarah charged us for these things literally months after they occurred, which kind of says to me that her mom was not planning to charge us but later was looking for ways to scrounge up extra money. My roommates and myself are all college students. Renee and I struggle to pay expenses on our own while Sarah’s mom helps her with rent and other bills. So all in all, Renee and I explain to Sarah that this isn’t fair for the reasons mentioned above, and it ends with Renee getting pretty mad at Sarah, neither of us paying the $65, and Sarah saying she’s going to get her own groceries from now on, causing Renee and I to have to pay more each time we go shopping. So, am I the asshole for not paying her for these groceries that I may have eaten a little of, not knowing I was gonna get charged for months later? It just doesn’t settle right with me, and it honestly kind of angers me that Sarah’s mom appears to be trying to get money out of broke college students.

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AITA For being mad at my wife for losing her job?

Ok so I know it sounds bad at first, but my wife suddenly lost her job in her chosen profession last summer. Fortunately, a friend of ours Mom runs a small business and was willing to hire my wife at the same pay she was making before, albeit only 6 hour shifts, five days a week. My wife and I looked at this as a stopgap until she could find other, closer work. We learned very quickly going in that the business was in some legal trouble with the previous owners trying to cause issues. We figured it was fine as it was a temporary job and she would be long gone before anything bad happened. Time passed and I would ask her occasionally if she had applied to jobs or worked on her resume and I was always answered with her telling me she was working on her resume, or that she saw a job she was going to apply for. I didn't really push her on it as I didn't want to nag, and was busy with my own new career. I would sometimes suggest pottential jobs for her as I saw them come up. The months ran on, and still no new job, still the same answers. Finally I realized it had been 8 months, so I about three weeks ago started to look for jobs for her and send her links, I started to ask her what jobs had she applied for, and how much more work was needed on her resume. Still she didn't apply. Today her boss lost the court case and her and all off of her co-workers are out of their jobs with no notice. I'm pretty angry because we need her income to not be close to broke every month. Our rent is almost an entire paycheck for me. I told her I'm angry that she wasted the last 8 months, now she's mad at me because I'm not being supportive.

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adwt7e

AITA i told her i have a crush on her and now she is angry.

alright i am vibrating till now about what happened today's morning. I am a 16 year old boy living in india and she comes to my Van (transport for school). from july till today i had a crush on her and she talked to me too but the thing is i was not able to control myself because almost all others kids were absent today. i was too frustrated by keeping it in myself and just when school was near, I wrote 'Do you know that i have a crush on you?' on backside of my notebook and gave her pen by showing it but she gave both back and walked out of van without looking back which made me pretty sure she was angry. I stood out of campus thinking what had i done? after some time i went in and saw her with her friends talking and looking at me. she even removed her Whatsapp DP since i had talked to her there several times. i am really feeling bad for what i did (it was my mind which insisted me for taking this opportunity). My friends say i did right but i feel too bad. So am i the Asshole?

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awcnbi

WIBTA if I refused to babysit for my sister on a pre-arranged day because she never paid me the money she owed me?

I'll keep it as short as I can. (Throwaway, obviously) ​ My sister has owed me money since Christmas. We had agreed that we would buy Christmas presents together a couple of months beforehand, but about a month before Christmas she tells me she won't be able to pay for the Christmas presents. We had only bought a couple, but we agreed that I would buy the rest of the presents using my own money, and she would pay me the £220 back over the course of January through to April. ​ However, we're now into March and I haven't seen a single penny of the money she owes me. She's told me that she had some unexpected bills to pay off, and while I could understand that, she says this every time she owes me money, and it's been frustrating me a lot. On top of that, I know that she's went out for drinks with her friends on at least 1 occasion, though I don't hold that against her. ​ So on to the babysitting, I had agreed to babysit for her on the 9th this month, which is a Saturday. I know that she's going to a wedding for one of her boyfriend's family members, and that she's looking forward to going, but the lack of any form of repayment has been weighing on my mind. I'm at a bit of a loss for what to do, so I figured I'd put it to you guys. WIBTA if I told her I wasn't going to babysit for her due to the lack of repayment, and if so, what would be the better way of going about this?

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6eYpmyJ2DgBjUfv3G5Xqh0optHAzBc4O

a1spxu

WIBTA for asking adults to pay for themselves at my daughter's birthday party? (TIME SENSITIVE)

My daughter was born in December. She has always been envious of kids who get to have summer beach/pool parties. This year, I decided that I was going to make her wish come true. I found a swim school with an indoor pool that hosts birthday parties. The package for up to 20 kids in the pool was $475. (Or so I thought) I added six pizzas to that, so we are at $535. Add a cake, party favors, decorations, etc., and I'm looking at around $700 for this party. ​ Yesterday, while I was setting up the specifics of the party with the coordinator, she mentioned (now, three days before the party) that the 20 "kids" included in the pool actually applies to everyone in the pool, not just kids. She said that if any adults go swimming at the party - over that 20 person limit that I paid for, there will be a charge of $10 per person over the 20 people. We have 19 kids coming - I came in just under the 20 people. So now, if ten adults decide they are going to swim with their kids, that's $100 out of my pocket in addition to the $700 I am already spending. ​ I didn't sign up for that. This party is for the kids. I don't mind paying if aunt/uncle/grandparent of my daughter wants to swim, but am I expected to foot the bill for any random parent that decides they want to take a dip? ​ I want to send out a notice to all parents that responded to my Evite that with some party notes. (like "wear comfortable clothes, it will be 90 degrees in the pool area") Listed among those notes will be something like: "The swim school has notified me that adults may swim with their children for an additional cost of $10 per guest." I'm not trying to sound cheap here, but AITA if I don't want to pay extra for adults to swim at my daughters birthday party? ​ My family is divided. Some think I should suck it up and pay for whoever wants to swim. Some think this party is for the kids, and adults are on their own - I should send a polite note. My dad says I should print out a sign and hang it on a wall somewhere that says explains that they need to pay for themselves. ​ I haven't sent the note out yet. I want to gauge the reaction I get here before I do anything. ​ WIBTA?? ​ Edit: Here is the note I am thinking of sending: ​ Hi All, Just a few notes regarding \[Daughter's Name\] Birthday party this \[Date\]. ​ 1. The room housing the pool is kept at a temperate of 90 degrees. Dress appropriately so you won't be too warm. ​ 2. Life vests, rafts, pool noodles, paddle boards, etc. are all provided. ​ 3. There will be a lifeguard on staff during the entirety of the party. ​ 4. The pool depth is four feet all the way around. ​ 5. Children under three years old must be accompanied by an adult. ​ 6. The Swim School has informed me that adults are welcome to swim as well, for a charge of $10 per adult. You can pay at the front desk when you arrive if you choose to swim with your child. They will not allow more than 30 people in the pool at any one time. ​ Edit #2: UPDATE posted here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a325w2/update\_wibta\_for\_asking\_adults\_to\_pay\_for/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a325w2/update_wibta_for_asking_adults_to_pay_for/) ​

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AITA for not wanting my sister to get a second dog?

My sister wants to get a second dog. My sister and I both still live with my mom, she's turning 20 soon and I'm 18. We have a few pets, namely a cat, dog and a few fish. The cat and dog are just kinda "the family's" but the fish are bought and kept by my sister. ​ You have to understand where I am coming from. I love dogs and cats, but my dog is the light of my life. The one we currently have is called Marvin, and we've had him for six years. This dog is everything to me. I'm a huge introvert and due to having to move a lot of times throughout my childhood, hopping between schools and such I haven't got many friends. Most of my friends I only see online, and the only times I go outside are to go to the store and to walk my dog. So this dog has helped me through some rough times. ​ Yesterday my sister and my mom were both downstairs. I went downstairs to grab a drink when my mom says something about how my sister was in a predicament. My mom wanted to hear what I had to say, but my sister seemed less eager to hear my thoughts. My mom told me that my sister was gonna get a second dog with her own money, and if I thought the dog looked cute. Now, I was kind of tired and generally speaking not thinking too hard so I simply shrugged and said "yeah it's pretty cool" and kept walking. ​ It's only when I got back to my room and sat down that I actually thought about it. And then it hit me, I really don't think this is cool at all. ​ Now, we live in a duplex apartment. We aren't poor, we could probably sustain two dogs although it would cut things kind of tight. As for myself... I just can't. I hate the idea of another dog in the house. ​ It's mostly just the fact that I'll have to get to like this second dog, and I know I won't. My first dog, it clicked instantly. But a second dog? I just don't have room for that. And since I spend most of the day at home, and walk the dog most of the time, I just feel like I can't get myself to care. No matter how hard I try. ​ Worst case scenario: The two dogs hate each other. In which case we just brought an actual invader into our home. If the new dog is a piece of shit then I will probably grow to hate it, as I love my current dog too much. If the dog is actually nice and friendly, the two will become inseparable. This will basically mean that by default if I wanna spend more time with our current dog I better start liking this new dog too. Then there's also the fact that I doubt my sister can care for the dog properly. She barely cleans the fishtank enough times, let alone something as fragile as a dog in an apartment. Our cat won't like it either, and just in general the time and effort it'll take to get used to this new dog will just be too much. ​ When I told my sister I hated the idea of getting another dog in the house, we had a debate about it. She ended up calling me selfish and saying that I'm not the only one living in this house. She told me she had been planning this since 2018, and wasn't gonna give up on it now. This was my boiling point, and I didn't really wanna have a massive fight with my own family so I just gave up and continued with my day. The reason why this comment pissed me off so much is cause of how inconsiderate it feels. She's the one who wants to bring a new dog. She's the one who's forcing everyone else in the house to adapt. And she never decided to tell me anything about it. All just because she wants another dog. ​ I don't even know why she wants another dog so badly, and I'm not about to ask as it'll probably lead nowhere. I really just don't know, am I being selfish? I hope this whole situation fits here.

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9z415f

AITA for not wanting to share stuff with my friends?

I'm not talking about sharing food or objects, I've got no problem with that. But for some reason I feel really bothered and uncomfortable when I have to share "traits of personality" with them. This goes both to stuff like bands we have in common, or with more serious stuff like telling them about my personal life, what I feel, why I'm upset, etc. First, I just don't really enjoy talking about movies, music and books I like, much less with someone that's enthusiastic about it. I like to feel that they're just mine, so talking about it kinda takes away the 'magic'. I just like to enjoy my stuff in silence. Second, growing up, my parents taught me lots of times not to 'overshare' because sometimes we don't know if we can really trust someone, and honestly, I think that's a good thing. Probably saved me more than I think. But there's been some times where I'm upset at my friends or something else, and when they asked me I'd just be distant and not tell them. They've told multiple times that I'm too closed and that it would make our friendship a lot better, but I don't want to. So, AITA for not wanting to share with others? (Sorry if it all sounds a little awkward, I'm not a native speaker)

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2s6UMj3DJfZl3BAUBqFEG8GlmxidhgD6

b4f5fk

AITA my boyfriend wants to go out but lately I’ve been doing my homework/not in the mood so he doesn’t want to go out unless it’s with me but upset he hasn’t been to a party

I’m a junior (21) in college and he’s a freshman (18/19) in college. He’s sad because I haven’t been in the mood to “party” and last time we went out to one was a month ago. Before I used to say I will then the day off or the day before last minute (4/5 hours before the party) I tell him I really want to sleep in/stay in. It upsets him and I told him I’ll stop making promises I can’t keep. Today I told him “I probably won’t want to go out tomorrow” and that made him upset. I have 3 midterms coming up and an essay due soon. I slept all day today and granted I didn’t work on much today, tomorrow I’ll try to finish as much as I can but Sundays are my working days but I don’t want to push this all aside until then tbh. I will do SOME work tomorrow but I don’t know how much I’ll get done. The bottom line is - somedays I just don’t want to party. He’s sad because I’m 21 and can go to a bar whenever and as someone who can’t get into bars he needs to wait until there are open parties, and he doesn’t want to go out without me despite me giving him permission. He doesn’t want to go out without me because his friends will be trying to fuck other people and he’ll be alone because he’s with me. I feel like a bar person for not going out and staying in a lot when he wants to party. I feel like I’m in the wrong for this.

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OTHER

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8tRhTpNxwWL4TwIHL22vyLXEk50DQlu0

anzavs

AITAH for canceling a job interview coz they asked me to wear a suit?

I was recently interviewing for a new role and after going through the first round of interview I was asked to do onsite interview. I was planning to drive 5 hours for the interview and was preparing myself until the recruiter called me 3 days before the interview day and informed me that wearing a suit is a must, I tried to explain to her that wearing a suit for interview is not common in tech companies and I never dressed up formally for any interviews before. She insisted that I wear a suit and she was pissed off after I informed her that I am no longer interested in the position. I was very interested in the position, but I thought I would not be comfortable with interviewing in suits (I wore suit

HISTORICAL

NOBODY

RIGHT

kYLS4ZlRYhRPhBX2JWI1FCZOu6xOkYfj

am70ds

WIBTA if I broke up with my gf because I wanted to sleep with other people?

It sounds bad and I still feel it is. I told my gf this and asked if maybe she’d be up to try polygamy and since I know this is a very sensitive and touchy subject I respected her decision and didn’t try to object against her. She first started with maybe, but after some thought she said know I was very honest and open with her about me having strong urges to be with other people sexually and she cried and was in complete distress. I completely understand why and don’t blame her for that. My gf is my first and only and my sexual curiosity always comes up. I’d never cheat on her and if I really wanted to sleep with other people I’d break up with her before then. I just feel it’s a pretty messed up reason to break up with someone and just telling her I feel broke her self esteem. I feel really bad but my sexual curiosity, urges and frustration are really picking at me. I don’t want to cheat, but I really want to know what other people are like. I want this but I don’t want to hurt her and either way it seems I can’t have both. I haven’t dont anything yet and I’ve never and don’t plan to even get as close to flirting with someone else as long as I’m with her. But I have strong urges too What should I do? WIBTA is I end up breaking up with her for this reason? Should I lie to save her feelings? She’s become a decent gf after all of our struggles, would i be ruining this chance? Plz help

HYPOTHETICAL

NOBODY

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iuIQf0KDnzmYfft3ZVKNkxf5zPV8LaJI

acyop7

AITA for not picking up an old lady’s medication

I don’t know if this fits here but hey, fuck it. I remember a couple of weeks ago I went into a store with a friend to purchase pre made sandwiches. It was on a day which gave us a 30min brake so we bounced quickly to this store as they made good sandwiches for the price. I place mine first on a conveyor belt and my friend goes behind me. There was an old lady in the front. As she was unpacking her produce I gave her like 50 cm of room to work with and put her shit there. She sees my sandwich and with all the power she’s got in her arms grabs the toilet paper she’s holding and just fucking rams my sandwich. No one fucks with my sandwich. On the day, I was tired af and had no fucks to give. In my mind I called her a stupid bitch and just gave her a smile. She looks at me like her name is Karen and just turns around. Ok I guess. A minute goes by and suddenly out of the corner of my mind I see some meds start slipping from her area. They fall on the ground. She fucked my sandwich over so ima fuck with her medicine by not doing nothing and just stepping past them. I don’t know if I’m right or wrong here for picking up her medicine

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OTHER

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yYsuJ2MidLaSljCwGbajZ4uiqbIL1CoA

aknt78

AITA for blocking our tenant from the driveway?

The downstairs tenant has a tendency to leave at really late hours at night. She works from home and doesn't really leave the house during the day. Our driveway fits exactly 3 cars, so hers, my car and my mom's. Our town doesn't allow for overnight street parking and will issue you a ticket for doing so. My mom and I pull out our cars during the day so the tenant isn't blocked in (driving to work). This musical cars business happens on a regular basis but the other day especially annoyed me because my mom bends over backwards to accommodate the tenant. It was 11:00 pm and I wanted to pull in my car. We always try to arrange it so the tenant is in the driveway first cause she doesn't need to get out in the morning. I go outside and see that she has left and her car isn't there. My mom insists that I wait to pull in my car until she's back. This is a weekday and I have to get up at 6:45 the next morning. 1:45 am rolls around and she's still not back. I go outside and pull in my car so she can't park behind me. The next morning I get a passive aggressive note in the mailbox saying "don't block me out of the driveway" from the tenant (she didn't get ticketed from parking on the street that night though). My mom gets mad at me that I did this. Maybe it is a tad petty but I have received $60 worth of overnight parking tickets in the past few months from waiting for the tenant to pull in her car at absurdly late times. Of course I have to pay them. The tenant also gets mad if I knock on her door in the morning to move her car so I can get to work. My mom just says "we have to work around her schedule" because she's paying my mom. I just don't get why I have to work around her abnormal schedule and pay for these parking tickets in the process. AITA for blocking her in this one time to prove a point?

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AUTHOR

WRONG

VyoaAJbwXoHYJlzvCPUmvgbrXg6vThVw

a1rye5

UPDATE: AITA for giving my sons cat away?

I spoke to my son and we are getting Spacey back tomorrow. He is not far from us and the new owners (family friends) are happy to return Spacey especially as it has not been very long since we re-homed him. My son is very happy. He is still angry at me and that’s understandable. I can’t believe I did such a thing. It is not an excuse but I was caught up in feeling something again after so long and when my partner told me I had to rehome Spacey I just listened. I have not spoken to my new partner about this yet, but I suppose that doesn’t matter. Thank you for your help.

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

WRONG

Q6LbR5omc3dQtAUxjEJCdlGJNMlGXNHd

aszcbh

AITA for handing out bean boozle jelly beans at work?

I’m the manager at an office job so all of my employees are pretty well acquainted. We all generally get along and they know that they can come to me with work related issues. I’m an easygoing boss, it’s obvious to them. For Valentine’s Day, everyone brings in some snacks to kind of celebrate the day. Usually stuff like brownies or cookies. I thought it would be funny to get the bean boozle jelly belly beans as a prank since basically everyone was bring something. I bought a few boxes of the beans and spent an hour or so picking through them and tasting which beans were regular and which were the nasty ones. Definitely wasted a lot of the nasty ones but oh well lol. They weren’t that bad, so I didn’t think anyone would react the way they did. I wrapped up around 20 jelly beans per person in Valentine’s Day plastic bags. There’s 9 people in my office. Valentine’s Day comes and I pass them out while work is slow and everyone came to the break room to snack on everything else there was. I told everyone happy Valentine’s day, that I appreciate them, and to enjoy the jelly beans. I saw a few people eat the beans and made weird faces which I thought was hilarious, and then they put them down lol. Eventually everybody was eating them around the same time. One worker came up to me and said he thought it was the funniest thing ever. Then, another worker that was sitting at a table says “what the fuck is this, throwawayquestions220?” I was honestly shocked, not only because of the attitude but because he cursed at me over a joke.. Next thing I know, three more people are complaining. A few people were laughing and some didn’t care, but it seemed like the majority of the break room was mad at me. I told everyone it isn’t a big deal while laughing, and I got a lot of stank faces and scoffs. After a few minutes everyone cleared out except the guy who was laughing with me. Now a few days have passed and people are acting resentful towards me. Not really engaging in friendly conversation, only work related bullshit. One worker keeps bringing it up and complaining, it’s been so annoying. I’ve thought about transferring him because he’s been such a downer about it. Anyways, AITA for this harmless prank?

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dhZCWfFbarNLlMSja54XgvLueh3Y1lAm

b8lvrl

AITA For asking my housekeeper to be paid hourly/stay min. amount of time

I am a FTM to an infant who is kind of high maintenance (minor medical issues). My husband recently started a new high-stress job. Since then, he has been refusing to help with anything around the house. I don't just mean chores. He won't go to the store and buy his own deodorant, he won't clean up when he spills salsa on a rug/table, he won't pick up take-out on the way home from work and he won't take care of the baby. He is being treated for depression. This is just to let you know I am really overwhelmed because everything household-related is my responsibility - from cooking, cleaning, taxes, yard work, bill paying, to household repairs, etc. We don't have any family around. He agreed that we should get a weekly housekeeper...that way I can cut the cleaning portion of my load to 1-2 hours a day. ​ We hired a housekeeper and she worked out great for awhile. She would stay 2-3 hours and charged $150 (with assistant). The first time I left her alone in the house, she basically left as soon as I was gone...staying a total of 50 min. The floors were not mopped, the carpets were not vacuumed and she left all the trash by the back door and didn't put it in the bins (and she didn't tell me, so it wasn't collected the next morning). When I told her all this, she apologized and went back to doing a good job...however, she started staying less and less time. One day, she was here for only 75 min. Things were undone. So I asked her as nicely as I could -- "I notice you seemed rushed yesterday. Is there a time that would work better for you to come clean?" She said she wasn't rushed and she had done a good job. I pointed out the time (verified with the security log) and that her effective rate was $120/hour if she only stays 1.25 hours. She apologized. The next week, she stayed exactly 2 hours and then quit. She said that she is having surgery in 3 weeks (I don't know if this is true, she was smiling when she said it) and didn't think that her assistants could clean up to my standards. I was really surprised she quit. AITA? ​ I ask especially because we had a previous housekeeper who had similar problems. She would come when I was at work and, when I got home, things were left completely undone (dishes in sink, etc.) Security logs would show her coming for less than an hour, but when I brought it up with her she would lie and say she was here for 2 hours but my place was too messy for her and her assistant to clean in 2 hours. ​ Now, we have had a replacement housekeeper for 2 weeks. She is just one person. The first week she stayed 3.5 hours. Yesterday, she stayed less than 2. That means her effective rate is $75/hour. I feel like 1) if my house could be cleaned in less than 2 hours, I wouldn't need a housekeeper. 2) If it really can be cleaned in less than 2 hours, I am happy to provide more work like cleaning out the fridge or folding laundry. Am I just an asshole?

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cNFUiwilH7AKHDaClztS8RTUEi2j1GOV

9vas8l

AITA for shouting at my girlfriend?

Tl;dr: My SO shouted and hit my phone off my hand, i shouted back at her and now she wants to break up. Me and my SO (both 19, she is my first / i am her fourth) just finished a half-term test today. While doing the test we and another classmate were confused with a question, my SO chose C while me and the other classmate chose D. My SO switched her answer to D when the test almost end but later found out the correct answer was C. She started shouting and threw a tantrum, the janitor just happended to past by and do his job (lock doors, turn off lights, etc. since it was time to leave). When she turned off the light my SO was still checking a few things with her notebook. My SO then shout at the janitor with some very bad words and i just quietly told her it's time to go but she then shout at me that it was too dark and she can't get things in her backpack (it was not that dark) so i turn on the flashlight and its all good. Later on, while we were walking in the hallway she said "take this" to me. I didn't understand if it was her backpack or her phone since she's holding them with both hands so i just grabbed the backpack thinking it was the one she meant but she then use her phone to hit my phone that i was holding in my other hand to the floor while shouting " i meant the phone!". She then picked up my phone and handed it to me but instead of saying sorry she just looked at me with hostile eyes and hiss. I lost my control at that moment and shout "I am tired of this, i can't be around doing this all the time!" to her then walked off the other direction. 15 mins later i found her walking home and approach to say sorry, she then pushed me back and walk home alone. Later that night i tried to call her but she didn't answer and now i just got her texts saying she has nothing else to say and want to break up. We have been together for almost a year now and she was always almost insufferable when it comes to tests time, I know what happened was most likely an accident from her part and i was probably an idiot (She still hit violently enough for my phone to fly away from my hand though) but i want to know if my action was appropriate and how i should have reacted instead. Thank you for reading this long post!

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OTHER

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veJoyltoTaVhMoJuFwwpDaS2G9aaS5Jr

9x7xsm

AITA for being offended and changing Thanksgiving menu bc SO's guest is bringing something juvenile and cheap

I should not be annoyed because I told my SO to invite friends. But hot dog pizza does not go with the traditional and adult Thanksgiving I had planned. We are all late 20s or early 30s. Plus he is bringing his SO, meaning we are now feeding two people and getting a hot dog pizza in return... So I am making changes to the menu to adjust to this new standard. The homemade Martha mac and cheese is being substituted for box mac and cheese. Cheap box stuffing instead of homemade too. Only doing one dessert instead of two.... and saving the real mac and cheese (costs like $20 all in to make it btwn cheeses, milk etc) and stuffings for just us on the wknd instead. SO was not pleased but I do not want to feel like I am feeding people who can't bring something adult to a holiday dinner. They wont know either way anyway...

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zn4qnA2TGtQQ4QBZB9JhvnrF8K0TM5N7

am3yrz

AITA? I busted my ex-friend for doing illegal drugs and selling them at our school

I used to be very close friends with this person and we had lots of good times together, but I cut them off last autumn because they were toxic and manipulative. The "break-up" was messy at the time but we're civil nowadays even though we don't talk. They have been smoking weed for the better part of a year now and it is illegal where I live. They tried to sell some to me as well while we were both underage last summer, and I am 99% sure they are currently selling to kids at our high school (I have heard these interactions). I am 100% sure they smoke regularly, and they have come to school high a few times as well as smoked outside during our breaks. This person barely comes to school (1-3h a day even though they would have an 8h day) and often just disturbs the class if they are there. Though we aren't acquainted anymore I still know a lot about the severe mental health issues this person has because of how close we were earlier; they are becoming worse and worse. Almost everyone knows that they smoke weed - it's part of their reputation. As I was discussing some stuff related to me with our school counselor, I decided to tell her about this person and their drug issues. This has now been forwarded to the principal, but that is all I know. I provided some screenshots where the person was trying to sell weed to me via text messages as proof of what I told the counselor per her request. Am I an asshole for busting them? This person has told me that smoking makes them less anxious and depressed - my morals do not align with what they are doing (selling, promoting) in our school community, which is why I decided to bring this up with a personnel from our school.

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AUTHOR

WRONG

rSwyPm8lsHz785KTwIWxu9dTYewjQ6QE

b091ew

AITA for not wanting to search a dog that isn't mine? HELP

This is kinda long and it isn't my first language so I'm sorry for the mistakes. Me (F21) and my family live in the same ground* but n separate houses with my aunt and my cousin (M20) we don't get along well because my aunt likes to blame my father for everything since they were kids..., they have to move away because their house isn't safe (because of the last earthquake in my country), so they choose to leave alone their dog on their house with an awful made "fence" (that was useless because the dog could scape anyways) they have left about 15 days ago and we bath and feed the dog because they come to feed it one time every two days or so. The poor dog kept barking all the first five days. On Friday when my brother (M25) is leaving to university the dog run out as fast as it can and my brother gets stuck on the door because of his backpack. He searched for it for ten minutes and come back to tell my mom, he leaves to college because he was having a important meeting with his thesis assessor (?) And my mom took her car and went to look for the dog. Nothing. We told them about that. "Your dog escape again" At the 7pm I was alone with my brother. My cousin enters in the house without asking first and ask my brother about his dog in a very agressive way, as if taking care of him was my brothers obligation. Cousin told him that he doesn't give a fuck about his college, that he is going to help him found his dog, I repeat, the dog that they weren't taking care of... My bro is a very calm person so he just nodds. My cousin leave and slaps the door. I forgot to say that for years ago they let one of our dogs (a puppy) escape and they didn't tell us, I found it dead on an avenue, a car killed it. We didn't complain. It was an accident... So now, my cousin is full of anger and wants to "talk" with my brother because "they made a deal"... He even blame us because my aunt have a facial paralysis after the problem of the dog. Almost tried to threaten us "I don't know if something is going to happen or not..." So, we search for the dog the first day (including me when I came back to school) but because of his attitude we don't want to do anything. We're just waiting the exact moment to put a demand on him if he hits my brother or if he kill our two dogs. So, what do you think? Are we the assholes? :( I'm very scared because I'm short (153cm) and I can't protect my brother(176cm) because my cousin have the height of a monster (2m) and I don't want my dogs being poisoned...

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NOVnliWs4Qw5k6tp2uBa38IqU3jpWr38

al5h2n

AITA for asking for a break to avoid cheating on my boyfriend?

Today I(19F) asked for a break from my boyfriend of 6 months because I found a guy at a party attractive and started flirting with him at the party. It didn't go any further, but I realized the next morning that maybe I am not ready for the commitment that comes with being in a relationship and that I missed being single. Being in a relationship makes me complacent, so I decided that I wanted to work on myself until I'm happy with who I am before committing. I feel bad because this really has nothing to do with him and a lot to do with my own insecurity and need for validation, but I also don't want to be unfair to him and be in a relationship where I constantly feel like I want to flirt or do stuff with other guys. Am I the asshole for asking for a break and if so what can I do instead? Thanks guys.

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zauupwxwUqemH1ggyJvqQSOBBuWXOuKj

a863sb

AITA for not giving my little brother my state ID so he can get into bars at college?

Several years ago when I was in college, my older brother lent me his ID, and I used it sparingly to get into bars occasionally while I was underage. Now, my little brother who is a freshman in college has reminded me of this and is asking for me to do the same. He said he wanted to save $100 on not purchasing a fake ID and that because my older brother did it for me, it's only fair that I do it for him. When I told him no right away, I cited my reasons as that I could be held liable for giving it to him and that he could get into trouble too if he were caught. He didn't really care about either of those scenarios and claims that if I won't give it to him, he won't have fun in college, in attempt to from what I understand, guilt-trip me into helping him break the law (not that good of a argument). ​ I asked my best friend AITA and he said yes, because realistically nothing would happen and I'm just being prude about it. I was a lot more responsible than my brother in college, and he's in a fraternity and will most likely make far more reckless decisions than I did, and I'm certain he would eventually get caught. I will say my ID does look like him, and I guess the argument that "he stole it" probably wouldn't hold up in court. But the main conflict here is weighing being a cool older brother, but also be concerned about the legal future for both my brother and I. AITA?

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OTHER

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UbFnjaolLmZr2PJNbq8DLaOMw9dXKhi9

at52qk

AITA for asking exactly what "rights" transgenders had lost with this administration

So, my friend (30 years plus) posted a video to her FB page which showed a movie star commenting for about 40 seconds on how this current administration is taking away “transgender” rights. The actress provided no context to her claim. So I commented on the video she posted on her FB page with, “what rights have they lost”? She couldn’t answer. Which developed into a “she’s only describing what she’s experienced”. So I asked again, what “specifically” has she experienced? She followed up with “It’s not my job to educate you” and “can you read”? So I listed a few of my higher education certifications/degrees and so forth, and followed it up with, “those higher academic institutions require advanced reading and comprehension to succeed”. I know that she doesn’t have the same education and credentials as myself. We bantered back and forth, to where she eventually responded with “The rights they are losing include serving in the military, losing healthcare because of the defunding of Obamacare, and the gov’t forcing doctors to confirm how many genders exist”. So I responded with: 1 – No one has the “right” to serve in the military. Less than 1% of the population serves in the military, with good reason. 2 – Obamacare was shit. I lost my dr and one my insurance plan once my premiums quadrupled immediately after it was implemented. Forcing people to buy into this program is not right. 3 – Using “science” in now a bad thing? I don’t see how confirming how many genders is losing a “right”. She didn’t like my responses, and immediately deleted the entire conversation. She followed up with that she would not allow “bigoted” conversation on her FB page. This was met with accolades from her peers. I'd like to mention, I do know that she has a nephew/niece that identifies as a transgender, so I can see why she gets defensive on the subject. But, I have yet to identify the “rights” that trans people have lost with this current administration. I am open minded. I just like to be presented with facts, not feelings.....

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aHh0VtPiKbAJzwjrnoE9VVfab6bqFEKP

ay5rwq

AITA For not wanting to be around my sister n laws boyfriend?

This is more of are we the asshole. Me and my wife have been married for 2 years she has 3 sisters all of which we care about a lot. This is about her older sister Maira (28). Currently in a relationship with a guy named Erik (32). Both work in finance and make good money, while he is a little better off in the money department. Now from the beginning when I first met this guy I didn't get a great vibe from him. For one he was way to nice and another he was a certified platinum ass kisser to my wife's parents. I just remember telling my wife "there is something wrong with this dude." She would be against me of course and say I needed to give him a chance and hang out with them which I agreed to, and we made it work. Until about 6 months into their relationship my wife gets a call from her sister saying that Erik wants nuts. Apparently he went ape shit on his house and tore a door down and ripped a faucet out the sink. All this came from a message from a co worker my sis in law recieved. Started calling her a lying bitch. Slut. Yata yata. Demanded to know everyone she had ever dated and if she still speaks to them. All this with his nephew in the house. Apparently they move on from this until about 2 weeks later. When my wife gets a call in the middle of the night from some random stranger saying that he has Maria in the car with him asking if we could pick her up. What happened that night angers me to the core because I don't condone that type of shit. That night they were drinking and had one to many. Got home and she was chatting with some co workers through text. He got angry because he thought it was a dude. This led to him hitting her, smashing her phone, and taking her car keys so she wouldn't leave. She ended up running away from his house barefoot, in her underwear and a tshirt. Luckily the random stranger was a great guy who picked her up and asked if she needed help. After we get her home, she goes back to his house the very next day. Like nothing happened. Her parents found out about it and act like nothing happened. Say she should work it out with him and go to counseling. I for the life of me can't comprehend this. Me and my wife think she should get out of it, and it makes us look like bad guys because we try to avoid him at family functions. My wife's parents get angry at us for this and it makes us look like assholes to her family. No one else knows except us 4. Are we assholes?

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OTHER

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0Y5gQqGswdh9avWTDrdAf0HQzrUMEchk

ain315

AITA for telling my parents that I want boundaries when it comes to my life and health

So before anything crazy is said I love my parents they have given me a great life. With that said my parents have zero boundaries when it comes to my life. I'm very socially awkward , anxious and insecure about myself and body due to a girl I really liked and thought we were going somewhere ended up playing me and destroying my self confidence. To add more I also dropped out of college last year, I'm 18 and I have zero clue what I'm doing. Basically my parents have been constantly berating me about why I don't hang out with friends or have a great despite me being open about not having many friends and only one girl who is a really good friend, yet they seem fixated on that which doesn't help when I'm constantly being told that I should hit the gym, I weight 70 with a small sort of belly kinda not really but it still makes me insecure I guess TL;DR would be that my parents criticize everything I do and constantly try to control and manipulate me despite putting my flaws and fears on the table Am I the asshole?

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OTHER

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tfNxW2kJ0IA2XliMzAnjNU6bUQ5MKmWM

ayukw7

AITA for telling my parents about my drug addiction?

Throwaway because some friends know my main account. ​ I'm a 20 years old female university student. Since last year I've gone through some shit with oxycodone and opiates in general, I've literally had highs and lows and now I finally decided to put an end to my addiction. I'm basically clean from opiates right now and I've rehabilitated by myself with the help of my psychiatrist, who also just diagnosed me with BPD, a NAS eating disorder and bipolar disorder. My parents know about by mental health problems just because they're the ones that "pay" for my therapy. Actually I luckily live in a country with a really good public health care system so it's not like they're throwing than much money on it, but technically they are paying so they want to know. I've never told them about my addiction because they are going through a bad period themselves and I didn't want them to worry about me as well (my mom just underwent brain surgery and she has BPD as well, along with anxiety and other stuff). To make things worse I study in another town and only see them a couple times a month. ​ Anyway, I'm getting my shit together, trying to be healthy and take care of myself. I turned my life around and I've been pretty successful in the last couple months, got good grades at university, took care of my family (it was hard for me to do it before) and got a lot closer to my parents. Yesterday I decided to tell them that I had "drug problems", but I don't really know how to talk to them, so I just dropped that bomb and refused to give them any further information about it. I tried to, but it's extremely hard for me to talk about it, so I just told them that I'm now fully recovered and they don't need to worry about it. In the beginning they seem to take it kind of well, but today my father looked horribly depressed and my mother was basically crying the whole time, she was extremely nervous and had some panic attacks throughout the day. Now I'm thinking I should have kept it for myself, and since the problem is already solved they didn't really need to know. I'm feeling horrible for making them worrying so much about me and for not being able to show them how much I love them. I can tell they're really scared of losing me. ​ TLDR: told my hyper-protective anxious parents about my past drug addiction and now they're freaking out and worrying too much, and I probably should have expected it. I didn't give them any details and I'm having a really hard time talking about it so I'm basically avoiding the conversation, which doesn't help at all. Maybe I shouldn't have told them. ​ AITA for making them worry so much about me? AITA for not telling them more? What should I do to fix this?

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NOBODY

RIGHT

spqpCEXSt87TtylNhrwgtRk1cduhHJ1f

b0kg66

AITA for wearing headphones in the store?

For context, I am a 20 year old female, who has been diagnosed with severe social anxiety and depression, as well as high functioning autism. I don’t hate people; I’m just horrified of social interaction (most likely because of the above and people were horrible to me as a kid). For Christmas, I asked for a pair of headphones so the long walks from my house to my job could be a little more bearable (it takes about 50 minutes to get there in the morning). I was expecting a cheap pair of £15 headphones or something but to my surprise, my grandpa generously surprised me with a brand new pair of ultraviolet beats solo3. I love them and I promised myself that I wouldn’t let his money go to waste and I would get as much use out of them as possible. *Context over, here’s the important stuff*: I wear these headphones just about everywhere I can get away with because noisy places in public overwhelm me and it’s nice to have something muffle the sound. Also, it’s always nice to have a distraction whenever being around people is too much. I’ve started walking these into stores and just wearing them, zoning out all of the people talking. It makes something that is normally stressful into a breeze. I only ever shop at stores with self checkouts available, so I didn’t think it was a problem. However, a friend mentioned to me that at work her co worker had actually started crying because someone was walking into the store and ignoring her. She told me she thought people who walked into the store and didn’t want to talk, were assholes (personally whenever that happened at work I was relieved but I’m weird) and that everyone thinks you’re an asshole when you do that . I realised I had been walking through that same store almost daily and chances are I had completely zoned out someone who I wasn’t aware wanted to talk to me and I must of looked like some asshole who thought I was to important to talk to a retail employee. I probably ignored a couple of people and made them feel like that but at the same time I should be able to get a packet of crisps without being uncomfortable. Am I the asshole? (PS: please be nice to people in retail, it’s a tough job and they don’t get paid enough to deal with assholes)

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abd0v7

AITA if I no longer want to interact with my ex-girlfriend after several incidents?

My ex and I started dating around junior year of high school. Things were going fine in our relationship until we started having cultural differences. Her being white and me being Mexican. My mother was never fond of her but she let it go. During high school we fought quite a bit but loved each other, but the fighting always ended with my having to apologize and asking for her to take me back (pretty dumb of me lmao). Anyways, she was very manipulative during high school and she always got her way, if I didn't agree with her viewpoint she would always chalk it up as "you're a lousy boyfriend if you dont side with me." She made me lost very close friends of mine because I always chose her over them. I was very miserable with her until I decided I had enough and we broke up as high school ended. She bombarded me with countless text messages and voicemails. And I'm talking about 300+ for both in one night. The week before she goes to college in another state we decide to try long distance but i told her under one condition: I dont want people to know that I'm with her again until I feel ready. I had set this condition because I was barely getting some of my close friends back and I didnt want to damage things with anybody. She agreed and we departed to our colleges. The first few weeks were alright until the long distance dilemmas started occurring. I would always tell her where I was and who I was with for safety purposes, yet She couldn't do the same. After our days of class was over all she ever wanted to talk about was how my day was. I always tried to start other topics such as movies, politics, research, science, and the latter, but she always told me, "all of that bores me." I get mad but ultimately let it go. Halloween comes around and we decide to take a break from each other, I go to a party and end up making out with a another female. The next week I visit a friend at another college near me and do the same thing. At first I knew it was wrong of what I did, but we were technically on a break and still fighting with each other. Just to state: there was no sex, just kissing. We begin to fight more about the long distance and we ultimately break up for good this time. She still sent me countless voicemails and texts as the first time but i decided to not answer. She begins to barely tell me about how she had a mental condition of bipolar disorder and depression and Thats why she was acting the way she was. I told her I had had enough and didnt want to speak to her again. She leaves me alone for a good few weeks and Christmas break comes along. Long story short, we end up having sex at a hotel room and decide to try again. The day after having sex I tell her it wasn't right what we did and I couldn't get back with her. She claimed that I had taken advantage of her but I never did, we both agreed to everything and we always stopped if one of us was uncomfortable. We go back to our schools and she begins to do the same thing again with the texts and calls. She eventually stops until she somehow found out that I had started getting feelings for some other girl from my school. (She found out because I posted about that girl on my snapchat.) She got her friends to message that girl and basically shit talk about me. Unfortunately nothing went forward with that new female and we stayed friends. My ex tried to "comfort" me while I stayed mad at her for allowing her friends to do that. Somehow she began to send me endless calls and texts and even threatened to kill herself if i didn't take her back. I had no choice but to hear out and talk to her out of it atleast 3 times. She said that I was a horrible boyfriend to her and how I cheated on her for what i did during those parties. All of her friends kept messaging me to take her back because she wasn't the same bad person she was during high school. Time passed and my ex got on medication and started getting better. She would occassionally beg for me to take her back and I would reply with a firm no. More time passed and this past November I ended meeting someone and we hit it off as soon as we met. We made each other laugh and overall I was finally happy. But once again, my ex's friend somehow found out through mutual friends' snapchat stories and decided to message this new female telling her how "he always cheats with all of his girlfriend's so watch out." My new female friend lets me know about this and things did not proceed any further. She can barely talk to me now because of what happened with my ex's friend. My ex acknowledged that what her friends did was not right and tried once again to get back with me. She kept telling me "I'm a new person because of my medication and I'm not that much of a bitch as I was during high school and first year of college. I can make you happy again if you let me and I know i wont mess it up." I replied with a strong no like before and told her to leave me alone. She did not so i blocked her from everything. Her friends ended up messaging me and saying "she's a new person and you're an asshole if you cant see that. She's way different than before and can actually give you what you want, unlike those two other girls." Her friends ultimately accused me of not wanting to be with her because she had a mental disease and how i couldn't handle being with her because of it. I know she's doing better but I believed we deserved to break up for the best of reasons. I'm really glad that she's keeping up with her medicine and feeling great but I don't want to be with her. Her friends keep saying that I'm extremely stubborn for not wanting to be with her and how much of an asshole I am for not taking her back. I just no longer have those same feelings for her anymore and want her out of my life. Her friends put me in a really depressive mood and it made me question my self worth, if i was even worth being with someone else. I just want to be happy again. AITA for not wanting to hear, talk, or know about her after all of this?

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a1n11o

WIBTA for deleting an old friend who's ignoring me?

Firstly, sorry for formatting, am on mobile. John and I have been friends since freshman year of school, so 10+ years. When we initially met, there was some flirting going on but nothing ever really came of it and we both started dating other people. So, not a big deal. Once we graduated, we kinda drifted apart as most people do but still kept in touch from time to time. But for the last two years, it's been down to me wishing him a happy birthday. Literally in our chat was me saying happy birthday last year, him thanking me and me asking him how he's been. He left me on read for the year. Yesterday was his birthday so I again wished him a happy birthday. He read it and hasn't said anything. Not a huge deal normally, I get that people are busy and especially on their birthdays, are inundated with messages. But you can't even send a smiley? To someone you've known for 12 years? John and I used to be super close and yes we have drifted apart as adults but the lack of communication is just annoying. I've made a rule with myself to only have people on Facebook who I truly talk to and are active in each other's lives. He's made it obvious that Im no longer a part of his life. So would I be the asshole to just remove him from my friends list?

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AITA for expecting more from my LDR boyfriend as I'm recovering from surgery?

I'm 2 days post having a pretty intense facial surgery, excuse any errors. Had a total nose reconstruction. My bf and I are in a LDR with 16 hours of time difference. He works a very strenous job and values his time off and time with friends. We've been working out the kinks with the time difference, and he has told me multiple times that he will change his schedule to accomodate me for this surgery. I know there's not a lot he can do from a distance, but I've been struggling with pain, loneliness, and very slow recovery. I was hoping to watch Netflix together or something but on my surgery day he went and played a softball tournament, and I haven't talked to him much since. He's sent me memes and asked me how I'm feeling, and ordered a pizza to my house ( I appreciate the gesture but I can't chew anything). I woke up this morning very sick, puked all over myself, and was considering going to the ER cause of how terrible I felt. I FaceTimed him and he said he'll call me back, but didn't and fell asleep.  It's been 10 hours now and I suspect he's sleeping off a hangover. TLDR; had surgery, recovery isn't going as planned, and my LDR boyfriend hasn't been there for me as much as I expected.

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AITA for refusing to take photos for my baby nephew even though I said I would?

Preface, I am Vietnamese and when the infant is 1 month his/her family will host a small party to celebrate it. My cousin, who I am really close with, is the mother of my nephew. She asked me a few weeks ago to do a photoshoot session with my nephew ( I just like to take photos and create scenes, I am not that good at photography anyway). I happily agreed and bought 2 cute bodysuits for the baby to wear to take photos. Her birthday was also a few days ago and I even asked her what she liked and bought it for her. Now yesterday was the day my nephew turned 1 month old, and my cousin's family hosted a party. My cousin talked to me all day yesterday, but somehow it *slipped* her mind to mention the party to me. It was only later last night after my dad came home from the party that he mentioned all the other relatives were asking where I was. I asked my cousin why everyone asked about me, and she replied she wasn't attending the party, she was upstairs with the baby the whole time. I didn't confront her, but I was and am still upset that my cousin didn't at least mention the party, let alone she didn't even invite me, yet she asked me to spend my time to take photos for her baby ( I also took photos for her pre wedding album and didn't get paid except for them inviting me out for dinner). So I told her I am now busy on the day of the photoshoot ( even though I am not busy). So Redditors, Am I the Asshole for feeling upset and not doing what I promised to do?

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aams73

AITA for making my ex-girlfriend cry?

Sorry for the wall of text, I’m posting on mobile Back in my first year of high school I talked to this girl for awhile and we ended up in a relationship. We dated for like 2 months and then one day she broke up with me out of the blue. A few days later she posted a picture of herself cuddling with this other guy that I went to school with. I was pretty upset that she moved on so quickly. A few weeks later my friend told me that my ex had been talking to this guy before she broke up with me and basically planned on leaving me for him. I know this isn’t necessarily considered cheating but I would say it’s at least emotional cheating. Anyways, a few months later he dumped my ex and she took it pretty hard. Me being a dumb 14 year old, I decided to talk to her about it and she confirmed that he ended things with her. I then told her “now you know how it feels” and she got very upset by that and told me I was a terrible person for saying that. She was super pissed at me for awhile after that interaction occurred. Was in the right to say that to her?

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AITA for not standing by my mother during a court hearing because of her behaviour?

This is gonna be long, so buckle up. Here's the backstory: 3 months ago me and my mother made a 4000 BRL (1000 USD) purchase on a website we trusted, called Kabum. We were used to making purchases there, and were actually frequent customers on their website. However this changed last august when we made the aforementioned purchase, and noticed it was taking longer than usual for delivery to begin. After an entire month of calling and emailing them countless times so we could get a straight answer from their support, we discovered someone had used our address (Though only our address) in committing a fraud 6 months prior, where 8000 BRL was stolen from Kabum (2000 USD). Thing is though, we don't have anything to do with this fraud, and up until now, we weren't even informed of this, but Kabum has decided to confiscate out money until the stolen goods are returned. Jump to earlier today and we had our first court hearing regarding this case. Kabum's lawyer didn't really bring up any relevant points and just asked to reschedule the hearing - which did in fact end up being rescheduled. But here's the part that matters: When the hearing began, and my mother was asked to tell her part of the story, she went absolutely apeshit. She was screaming, hysterical, disrespectful and basically threw a temper tantrum, calling Kabum and it's owners and employees all sorts of names (She even cried in anger). Meanwhile i stood quiet and gestured to her to try to stay calm and to control her anger - though she basically ignored that. And after an hour of Kabum's lawyer and my mother "speaking" the lawyer asked the session be rescheduled. After it was over and we had got out of the building, my mom said that i'm not invited to the next hearing, as i had not supported her - to which then i brought up (Calmly and respectfully) that her behavior during the hearing was unacceptable, and that though i strongly believe she is right, the way she conducted herself there was absolutely abominable. She then proceeded to scream at me for bringing that up and not supporting her - she told me to "not count with her for anything from now on" and that she "doesn't want to talk to me again for a very, very long time." A few extra details: The hearing did not get rescheduled because of my mom's behavior - it was because Kabum's lawyer was "missing a few documents" At no point was Kabum's lawyer or anyone else disrespectful to my mother.

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9uhst1

AITA for telling my friend’s mom that she is the main source of why he cannot have sustainable relationships, and therefore his depression?

So a little background here: I was a senior captain on a division I sports team last year. About a month before our championships, one of the freshman stopped showing up to practice. When I confronted him, he told me he had severe depression and was thinking about hurting himself. I stayed with him that night listening to him and telling him about my own struggles. The next day I walked him to campus counseling, and they admitted him to a psychiatric hospital for a few days. Fast forward to two weeks ago. One of my former teammates let’s me know that he’s worried about him. I arrange to meet up with him after one of their competitions and he tells me how alone he feels. I suggest that he probably needs to put himself out there a bit more, especially with the ladies. I tell him he can reach out to me whenever. He basically yes’s me to death. Unbeknownst to him, his mom is texting me thanking me for looking out for her son. I’ve known for a very long time that she is part of the problem. She has built up his self confidence to the point he has an incredible superiority complex that disallows for sustainable relationships. Anyway, we texted today: Friend’s Mom- “Did you talk to [son] this weekend? He saw a new psych on friday who said his 2 anti depressants may have been somehow making his lows even lower. Put him on a different med which [son] started on Friday.” Me- “Do you want my honest opinion?” Friend’s Mom- “of course” Me- “I did. I tried to get him to study with me at some point this week but he would rather study alone and in his room. So I sent him a scientific study that provided empirical research that changing up your study environment actually helps you retain information better, but he told me, “he’s not interested in other people’s opinions.” (Even though this is academic research). He doesn’t feel the need to “switch it ([his study habits]) up”. That dialogue tells me that your son is extremely rigid, and closed-minded. How do you, as a man of science, reject scientific research? That stubbornness/forthrightness combined with the pressure he puts on himself has undoubtedly served him well on achieving his goals. However, he disregards any blowback or things that might get caught up in his wake because “nothing can get in the way of me [(Your son)] studying for the MCAT.” This parochial mindset is not conducive to developing positive, successful relationships. And I believe a therapist/psychiatrist will have trouble making that assessment because we are all inherently biased when communicating with professionals. And what that philosophy reading conveys is the same tragic case —an uncompromising “moral” agent who feels removed and alone because of their seemingly “successful” approach to life has no room for adaptation.” Friend’s Mom- “I see what you’re saying. And I don’t disagree that he can be rigid and closed-minded. What do you mean about a therapist having trouble making that assessment? Where does the bias come in?” Me- “When we talk about ourselves, we are doing two things: 1. Mis-remembering reality. When we experience an event, our brain does not store the actual event. Our brain stores a condensed, easily accessible version of what took place. 2. Misrepresenting ourselves. This is particular to those people who have trouble admitting their flaws. Your son falls into this category in my opinion.” Friend’s Mom- “Sure, we remember things like we think it happened or like we want it to have happened. [Son] has trouble opening up and appearing vulnerable. He probably does it better with me than with anyone.” Me- “Yes, I figured. And, respectfully and sincerely, I think that’s a big part of the problem. Your son has a superiority complex that I believe has been fueled by you. Now, I’ve never been a parent, so I don’t know where the balance between instilling self-confidence and promoting ruthless, unwavering hubris lies. But you may want to seriously reflect your role in developing your son’s self-aggrandizing behavior.” Me, a few hours later- “I’m sorry if I offended you. You asked for my honest opinion. I really do want your son to get better” I feel like an asshole but I also feel like it needed to be said. I sincerely care about her son because I was in a terrible place my sophomore year, and I feel a certain personal responsibility. Am I the asshole?

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azt2bg

AITA for preferring my dad to die

Those words are really hard to say out loud, even though out loud is just on the internet in this instance. Almost two years ago, on father's day, my sisters and I were unable to get in touch with our dad to wish him a happy father's day. By mid-day we were all pretty concerned because he's never far from his phone. I still have a friend that lives near him (my sisters and I are about an hour away) so I asked him to go check on him. He found him laying on the floor of his bedroom, he had had a stroke. The doctors think he had been on the floor like that for over 30 hours by the time he was found. My dad was smart. He was a really intelligent, funny, and insightful person. I never got to say goodbye to that version of my dad. After the stroke he's different. He's not the same person he used to be. I still call him dad, but he's a total stranger to me. There's a part of me that wishes we never found him. His life in the two years is not what he would want. He hasn't regained much of his mobility or cognition. At 72 years old he was still hiking, and playing guitar, and ice skating, and going out with friends. He was always an incredibly social person. Now he just sits in a wheelchair and watches TV. AITA for having these thoughts?

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a2bo7i

AITA for never bringing food to work potlucks?

Every time I attend a potluck party or there's a potluck at work, I've always been told my the host(s) that there is no requirement for bringing food. So I don't. I still eat the food provided by everyone, so I still feel guilty about it. The reason why I never bring anything? I have trouble planning anything in advance a lot of the time, so I tend to forget to bring something. AITA for never bringing food to a potluck?

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ax6d79

AITA for getting more upset at the person actually disturbing me at the movies?

Cast: Me, H (my husband), K (kid), OH (old hag) Had a family movie day my H and our son, to see Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse this past weekend. There was only \~10 people total in the theater, a family at the front, 3 of us on the left middle, K with her friend on the right middle (our row, but we are on either end), a couple in the middle a few rows up from us and OH in the very top row, middle. About halfway through the movie, I hear someone from behind me talking loudly, but it was also during a loud scene, so I turned to hear what was actually being said. It was OH, standing up and leaning over the row in front of her, almost shouting (because of the loud scene) GET OFF YOUR CELLPHONE! I was a little confused since I hadn't heard a cell phone, and there wasn't the telltale bright glow you see. I watched OH for a few seconds and figured out she was talking to K in the same row as us. I watched K for another few seconds, and I saw that she did have her phone out, but it looked like it was seriously dimmed. Whatever, I go back to paying attention to the movie. ​ About 35-40 minutes later, I notice movement out of the corner of my eye. OH is standing right behind K and is in her ear, YET I CAN HEAR HER, so she was almost yelling in this poor kids ear, GET OFF THE CELLPHONE! You aren't supposed to be on your PHONE! Do you want me to get the worker to kick you OUT!? Then she waddled her way back to her throne to continue watching over her theater kingdom for further infractions. There was no more outbursts, but afterwards when I was talking to H he thought I was crazy for thinking that OH was the true disturbance and that K with the cell was easily ignore-able. H thinks that if OH was annoyed by K, she was within her rights to say something. I feel like if OH was really that annoyed, after the first warning, go get someone to deal with it. So, who is the asshole here?

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ba1ai6

AITA for sharing a vague, fat shaming post?

Context: I did not do this. However, my fiancé randomly posted on FB something to the effect of: *Can we all agree that overweight=plus size and morbidly obese=bus size?* Cue your he is a good, loving partner/person spiel BUT he has this attitude sometimes where he feels like he has a right to express unpopular opinions. This is not untrue, but I feel like I also have a right to find some of them off-putting and express that like in this case. I am plus size and whereas I consider myself to be more confident than other my size, what I can't stand to think of is how this might have made someone else feel. I'm very body positive and to me, it's just ill-thought commentary that he didn't need to share. When I pointed this out, he backtracked and said he doesn't think being overweight is bad, but he was making a facetious statement about how people blue the lines between being plus sized and obese. I still maintained that his post made him out to be an ass because at the end of the day, whose life did he change by dropping this nugget of knowledge? If obesity rates were a genuine concern to him, he could have just as easily shared a kind or motivating sentiment that would have resonated with someone having body image issues. AITA?

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AITA for not wanting to have anal sex with my boyfriend?

Here's some backstory. I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year. I'm very 'vanilla' and prudish. My boyfriend is, to be frank, kinky. When we started having sex, he asked if I had anything I would refuse to do during sex. I told him that anal was a huge no go, and thought that was it. I've tried anal once, the guy I was with used a lot of lube, it still hurt and when I told him to stop, he didn't. He knows this. Now he's started begging me to have anal sex with him. I've told him that it was a firm no, that there's a lot I might be willing to do during sex, but anal is a boundary I don't want to cross. Now he won't stop bothering me about it. We should try this or that, "it doesn't hurt if you use lube", "pleassee", "I promise it won't hurt" and his favourite, "But you've never tried it with me!' I don't care that I've never tried it with you, I don't enjoy it, have a bad history with it and I've tried compromising with you, but you refuse. He's called me an asshole and asked me why I'm such a prude. I'm seriously considering ending the relationship. So Reddit, who's the asshole?

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AITA for not replying to a text when it doesn't seem like a response is necessary?

Whether it's with my SO or friends, texts eventually get to the point where I think to myself "Okay, this a good stopping point. I asked them how my day was, and vice versa." If it gets to the point where I feel like my response is going to be a half-assed "Oh, that's cool." Or "Dang, that's shitty." I typically opt not to respond at at all, especially in the case of my SO when I know we are gonna see each other in a couple hours and I'll be able to get to the meat of the text they sent I find it more difficult to determine when it's okay to just not respond, because I think everything's already been addressed in that format. Then I get messages like saying things like "did you see my text?" And it just sours the whole texting thing for me even more. I get it if it's something that needs a response and is time sensitive, but other than that I don't see the need to respond if I'm going to communicate with you face to face about in a few hours.

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9y36p2

AITA For not being engaging with others?

This one is fairly simple. I am a (21 M) college student with a part time job. I have many different classmates, but I don’t consider myself to be a very social person and I find those who wish to talk with me to be dull and irritating, so unless it is imperative, I don’t seek socialization or conversation. I do fear that I am being rude, however, and I’d like to know if I should seek the company of others.

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arz15m

AITA for expecting more praise from people?

I’m 13 so if this sounds childish, you know why I just wish I could get more out of people When I get good grades I wish my grandpa would say “good job” instead of “i shouldn’t get my hopes up, it won’t last” or “it better stay that way” When I show my friends my paintings or ask them to help with something they don’t even reply You would assume they’re just busy or something but they’re not I wait incase they really are busy, but at some point later in the day they send a useless text like “look at this cute kpop boy” They do this every single day and one of them, especially at the end of the day says “I feel like dying” or something like that and honestly me too, I say the same things, I reach out for their advice or help or consolation and I get left on read So of course, despite how much I love her I don’t want to help this friend out because she’s unwilling to do the same for me Help pls, I feel like an asshole because I don’t want to seem like I’m entitled or anything, but idk

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agmdfe

AITA for wishing a classmate fails her year?

I've this classmate in every class that just makes me uncomfortable, they talk behind my back (even if I can obliviously hear them) and try to exclude me. They've been away for a while and it was so much better without them.

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9tih57

AITA for severing ties with my ex ?

She & I have been together for ten years. We separated two years ago (I left). At first, we kept texting a lot, because it was hard for both of us to end it all of a sudden. But at some point I told her that if we weren't getting back together (she's against it), we should stop it, but she doesn't want either, so she keeps coming back. Honestly it hurts me a lot to keep talking to her. I don't want to remain friends with her, at all. And my new girlfriend wouldn't appreciate me casually texting my ex. I keep telling her that it hurts me and I have to move on and preserve myself and my happiness over being "nice" to her, but in her dream life we keep texting daily while being separated and living new lives. I think that's insane and she tells me that I'm "always choosing for her" and that "social norms shouldn't dictate our behaviour" (wtf). So, AITA for severing ties with her ? PS : I should add that I can't block her number, we still have to communicate over legal matters for our previous apartment. And I don't feel like blocking her, it would make me sad; I'd rather have her understand by herself.

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b6z7ft

AITA for wanting to go out with my friends even though Im a married mom?

I (f 34) have been married to hubby (m 38) for 15 years. We have 4 kids, ages 7-17. We used to go out to the bar regularly when we were younger. For the past ten years Hubby has not wanted to go out socially and feels that its not appropriate for a married woman to go out with out her husband. Background- neither of have any issues with alcoholism. I don't expect to go out with friends every week or even once a month. I would just like to do something fun once in a while. He does take me on a dinner date once a week and wants to spend as much time with me, one on one or in a family setting, as he can. His reasoning is that its not fair for him to sit home and be alone and that its not normal for a married woman to do these types of things. I am responsible and bring in 80% or more of the family income. If I did put my foot down and go, despite his protests, he might track me down and make me come home or cause a scene or keep me up all night discussing it when I get home. He is not physically abusive but has a lot of control over me and can be very insistent that he's normal and he's just trying to protect me from people and situations that arent good for me. He also doesnt trust people and can be clingy to me. I dont come from a normal family and I honestly dont know sometimes whether he is right. He can be very convincing and we've been together since I was 16 so I have nothing to compare it to. I just want to get some input from other people about what is normal in a marriage regarding socializing without the spouse. AITA for thinking its ok to go without him?

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OTHER

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nWZvRZnvXopE0PsAxwYJLQjLLpR1jKcL

a46mpf

WIBTA if I put my former sexual abuser on blast on the internet?

Sophomore year (I was 15F and am a senior in HS now) this guy who is a year older than me (16M at the time) repeatedly manipulated me into doing sexual things with him. He’s gotten quite a bit of flack in the past on the internet for doing some other things (harassing girls for nudes (two of them being a year underage under Washington State law), cheating on his girlfriends, etc.) The issue is that I’ve done pretty much exhausted every option I’ve had to get him in trouble for being a famous douchebag, but there hasn’t been a lot of justice. I got him in slight trouble with the PD over the two underage girls, but he only has a *file* made now and no actual charges because we were told it wasn’t worth it to press charges being that it was likely that it’d be thrown out of court. I went to our high school about it and tried to get him out of the school show because we had a lot of younger girls in the program and he was doing illegal shit, but the school didn’t do much and our drama director didn’t kick him out because he was “valuable” to the program. His parents were told about this among other gross actions of his, and his mother lashed out at *me* instead of controlling her kid. I also can’t prove sexual assault on me (or the other girl he abused) because everything he did *to me* was *technically* consensual, but absolutely morally abhorrent and deliberate and caused me a lot of psychological damage. As for the other girl, she won’t press charges and I can’t and won’t do it for her because it’s not my place. Here’s the thing: I am sitting on a *shit ton* of evidence of him being a pervy, rude scumbag to a lot of people, and I have my personal testimony that can be backed up by numerous people that I confided in secretly at the time. He’s trying to become an actor, and I don’t think he deserves to have any sort of platform, nor do I think that it’s right that he didn’t suffer any consequences. He has since apologized to me, but from what I can tell, his actions have not changed and I wholeheartedly believe he only apologized because I was close to telling all of our friends what he’d done. I also confronted him numerous times in the past about what he did, and it took him about the 15th time to actually apologize. Would I be the asshole if I went public with what he did? This is a legitimate question, not trying to karma-bait or just get validation. I’m just seriously not sure if it’s the right thing to do.

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ZXCuvJmbCrz6axe2MZePYavlLHgudRf0

axisww

AITA for using content creators for giveaways?

For quite a while, I've searched for giveaways for items I want but can't afford (no luck but what do I lose). ​ Recently, I was looking for giveaways for a certain product and suddenly guilt hit me. I began to thing it's shitty of me to be following/subbing to these content creators for a chance to win the giveaway, but leaving after the giveaway is over because I'm genuinely uninterested in their content? ​ So Supreme Court Just-asses, Am I The Asshole?

HISTORICAL

NOBODY

RIGHT

j8OvIzANayKEZoq6LrcYp4U9O9ybc98C

a6w67i

AITA for planning a trip to Japan without my friend?

I told my friend that I want to go to Japan as soon as possible, and she suggested we go together because she's also wanted to go for a long time. The problem is that I never want to go with her (on any trip FYI). She just kind of invited herself into my plans. She has difficulty holding down a job, so she barely has the ability to save money. She also can be tiring to be around sometimes because she's quite judgmental. I want to go to Japan (and stay around 3-4 weeks) next fall and I invited my best friend to go with me, and I'm not sure if it's bad that I made plans with my best friend and decided not to include my other friend.

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OTHER

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oX4lCgCc1T5U9uEiyfUMsHtT9UuhVtbL

awchfc

AITA for reporting obnoxious players with open mics?

I find it really irritating when people leave their mic open in games. Somehow it’s always someone who thinks their music is good enough to be blared over their Tin can mic or somebody with a crying baby in the background. Now I never report them without first asking them to turn it off or to use push to talk, and I always help them set that up if they don’t know how, I’m not going to go all shitting pigeon on someone who doesn’t know their mic is open, or someone who switches when asked. I’m not trying to get someone banned or suspended because they irritate me. But when I ask nicely and they tell me to fuck off or “it’s a good song dude just enjoy it” then I report them, and always for something like communication abuse and never for cheating. I told a friend this and they told me I’m being a dick, but I’m not sure if I’m really being an asshole? ( I also only do this in games where there is no option to mute the individual player)

HISTORICAL

OTHER

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M4772v962pn2hBd2wr0TAYbjMAawPs28

avkzx2

AITA for locking my girlfriend in a room until she applied for a new job?

My \[24M\] live in girlfriend \[25F\] hates her job in advertising. She often comes home and starts crying because of how abusive they are to her. I've met her boss and he is honestly kind of twisted. He knows that she will get deported if he fires her, so he dangles that her job over her head because he knows it will make her work overtime. He underpays her and tells his whole office that anyone who discusses salary will be fired. One glance at glassdoor and it's obvious she's underpaid for her role. ​ She is a very talented individual who went to a top 3 school in China, and then got her masters in states at a prestigious program in the US. She works super hard and all her coworkers that I've met tell me she's a superstar.She has been promoted multiple times but without a substantial salary increase. ​ I know she can get a better job at a better company that treats her well if she tries, and she **talks** about applying for a new job all the time. But inertia is incredibly powerful, especially if you're already exhausted from working from 8am - 11pm every day. We've had a lot of discussions where I try to talk her into actually setting aside some time to network and apply at other places, but she never gets around to it. For context it has been **1.5 years** since she started complaining about her job and she hadn't even applied to other places. In fact we talked about it briefly on our first date. ​ Her boss is intelligent & manipulative. He will occasionally throw her a bone, like give her a tiny raise, or compliment her work, that makes her feel like "maybe things will get better" - but they don't, and she's always in tears about it a few days later. She also has some sort of internal confidence issue, combined with inertia, combined with not having the energy / motivation to do it. ​ I didn't know what to do - it's not like I can apply for her. But it was breaking my heart to see her like this. So one day I asked her to cover her eyes because I had a surprise for her. I led her into the bedroom where I had put her laptop and then shut the door behind her, and held it shut. I told her through the doors that I would not be letting her out until she showed me a few submitted applications. I even left some water and food in the room. ​ She whined a bit at first and asked me to let her out but I refused. It felt cruel but necessary to finally give her a push. Honestly I have done a lot of talking with her, and I feel talking is just that - talk. She eventually caved and started editing her resume and writing the cover letter. After 2.5 hours she had sent a few applications out and I let her out, and we hugged it out. ​ When I told a friend about it, he was aghast and said it was an abusive thing to do. I have mixed feelings myself. It seems fucked up but it was the last thing I could think of and it worked. So I'm wondering: AITA?

HISTORICAL

AUTHOR

WRONG

jGSTNX9fzVV7HvbU41bVshxttvVoxQGa

ak5uml

AITA for getting mad at my GF not answering how many people she's slept with question? Plus some other info....

This may seem really stupid, but after browsing this sub and reading about the similar situations.. I(28/m) decided to ask my gf (25/f) that very question, right after reading her the previous sub. At first she was like the guys the asshole she was thinking 7 to 10), then she heard the numbers(7 to 50) was like no okay that's normal. He's not the asshole So I asked her, how many people has she slept with? She refused to answer and kept wanting to know why I was thinking about this*... Kept insinuating that it was only coming up because of the Reddit post. I had to break it down no it didn't, it was how she acted about lying about being a virgin, so already I have very little trust in what she tells me. Coupled by the fact that the last time she had sex date has changed twice (2 years to 1 year). I can honestly say that I'm not fully able to trust what she says. Lets just say she refused to answer the question and kept changing subjects. I repeatedly asked her if she's going to answer the question, she said no then I replied, okay well I don't think we should keep talking tonight. Then she got into the entire your forcing me to answer this question, but when I force you to answer questions you get mad at me etc. We ended up getting into an argument loop, and it was already 4 am my time (she's 3 hrs behind). This morning she called again, and well still feeling resentful from last night and kinda was looking for an argument. She gets off the phone, and ends up texting me, 'We've been fighting alot for the past couple days ... I think it's best if we clear our heads and take a break ... I don't have the energy to keep arguing with you and fighting every single day. I'll talk to you later." I replied with "Yeah, I was going to send you a similar message, im going to focus on my school" "I need a break" She says no problem good luck. *Some background, she had me believing she was a virgin for over a year (when we were just talking). This past January, we almost had sex (LDR, and finally had own space), but let's just say it wasn't going in. And when she finally spoke up all she said was I'm dry af and started uncontrollably sobbing for 20 minutes. When she finally calmed down enough I helped her get dressed, and dropped her off at home thru a crazy crazy winter storm btw. She refused to speak about it the next day, nor has she spoken about it since. I honestly think we've gone too fast too quickly, and not by her choice, but rather than what her family wants her to do (get married etc etc). This winter break (last year of university for me)we spent 2.5 weeks together, were in my Hometown everything was peachy, she met my parents, brother, dog etc. When we went to her hometown she completely changed, was very short always fighting with me. When I was leaving her hometown to go back to university she even told me so. About how her city brings back her bad memories about people. And that she was being extra bitchy. AITA?

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AUTHOR

WRONG

0aG8youJNByOJ0UJ5OseZ7DCLtZF6qhT

b67tk6

AITA for wanting our roommate to buy us a new mattress?

My DH and I are allowing his friend to pay rent and stay with us in our guest room until he can move out. All of the furniture in the room, including the mattress, is ours. Friend is a bit of a slob, and our guest room looks like a hot mess. You can hardly walk in the room. I know everyone's got different standards of cleanliness, but he didn't wash his sheets for months. When DH finally said, look, you need to clean your sheets, that's gross, he took the sheets off, maybe washed them, and then... just didn't put them back on. Or any sheets on. For weeks. Again, different standards of cleanliness, but in the end there was literally no barrier to shield my mattress from this guy's dead skin and sweat. I want him to buy us a new mattress, but a) I don't know how to approach that and b) making him pay for a mattress is just going to make it harder for him to afford to move out. So, AITA, and even so, should we make him pay for it?

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OTHER

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1AOhSqPl6aQWJfLyZ0CIUV46IiSNt8Ah

ba5wuy

AITA for jumping on my trampoline?

So before I start then M=Me (I'm 13 and I got autism) B=Brother (He's 15 and got no sickness or something) So my brother and I got a trampoline. And I asked him today if he wanted to jump on it and so on. Then I went up, b got a ball, then he came up too. And then he just began laying down and I began asking b if we could actually jump and such. B didn't respond pretending to be sleeping. Then I started jumping to get him up. B didn't get up. Then I just began laying down too and taking my own pillow and blanket I brought up earlier (He took it, I brought up other blankets and pillows too) He didn't want to give it to me. Then a pause of 5 min just of me trying to take it... And then I started jumping again to get him up cause I still wanted to jump. Then I tried and tried for a good 10 min. He just didn't want to get up. Then he said I could do flips if I wanted (cause that makes everything way better) But didn't allow me to actually jump doing it. Then my mum came in cause she heard us fighting about him not wanted to get down to his own bed and said he could take a sun chair. He didn't respond. Then he said I could also play football. Then I did it and then I hit him in the head by mistake and then threw the ball at my hand quite hard and it still hurts rn lol. And then I just tried talking to him saying I asked him to JUMP and he's ruining my day by this. And then pretending to be sleeping again smiling (I think he just tried to be annoying against me). And then my mum came back saying she didn't want to hear us fighting. And then I just left. And I said he was gonna clean up the trampoline and he said that was fine. Then I gave him his pillow and his duvet cause he clearly wanted to sleep on the trampoline and he was mad at me for making stuff more comfortable to him... Then I took a glass of cold water came back and just told him he isn't quite nice and he's 15 he shouldn't act like he was 3 (And I were also about to say it's like he's an autist but I forgot I got autism) And then I just went in and my mum told me she didn't want to hear us fighting again. And that's pretty much it. So Am I the asshole?

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OTHER

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sQpuPvSFh1B91KKqhsGWeaHrtSKlUEKR

ar2fcl

AITA for not keeping a secret?

Hi. This will be a long post so please bear with me. Last year I completed my one year masters' degree. I came to the uni as a shy, awkward guy. Not having much experience in the realm of romantic relationships, neither was I actively looking for them. I was insecure and still am. During the first few days of the degree I met this super pretty girl, who was way out of my league, I'll call her Sarah hereon. we hung out sometimes with groups and sometimes just us. I felt we were close for a few months where I ended up falling in love with her, but my life experiences told me that it will just end up as an embarrassment for me and ruin things between us so I never pursued her. There was a speed-dating event that was organised in the campus to which she went and ended up dating a guy. I felt jealous and humiliated - I tried very hard to keep our friendship afloat but a sense of indignation was rising inside me. Months went on.. we definitely talked less, she started missing classes to hang out with her boyfriend and his friends. I told her what I felt about that. One day we both got drunk and confessed our feelings to each other. She said she loved me...and that it was too late. From thereon she started texting me nearly everyday about how she feels about me,how she loves her boyfriend and me both, how she cannot break up with him, how I would've done the same or worse if I were her.But she also started lashing out on me if I hung out with girls she didn't like. She started dumping her assignments on me. During the last month of our course, we got drunk at a party and ended up making out in a bathroom stall. She said she loved me. I told her I loved her. The next day was spent by her trying to know who saw or knew about us doing that. She made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone because the implications that will have on her life would be severe. But it happened again, and then again. I had no ways to address my frustrations. I felt the un-uttered secret just never happened. I felt used, manipulated and silenced. A friend of ours, I will call her Lisa, was to leave to work in a remote region for two years. Realising she was going to leave in a few hours, I told her when she wondered why nothing ever happened between Sarah and I. I asked Lisa to not tell anyone. Except she told it to another mutual friend of ours, Jane, on text. Later Jane showed Sarah the texts Thereon,she would bombard me with messages, she would call me a liar, untrustworthy etc while posing herself as someone who is always anxious about her image and what people are saying about her. She said I contributed in fueling her anxiety. At some point, she also said, "Would you get me if I made fun of you for your looks".. Right now she has blocked me. and is enjoying her weekend with her boyfriend and all of my friends, including Lisa and Jane from the looks of it. Everyone has sorted out their differences, except me ​ So, AITA?

HISTORICAL

EVERYBODY

WRONG

hHfPBnHS7vxOm6CvLHwAsJ5gmLxSuhWl

9xp5ln

AITA For not giving up treadmill to a girl?

The gym I attend is pretty small and has only 2 treadmills. Usually to use one I have to wait a little bit. To the story: While running on treadmill for a while some dude (D) approaches me (M): D: When will you finish using the treadmill? M: Well, I need 20ish minutes more I think. D: Are you already running for 35 minutes? M: Well... Yep. D: As a coach I would recomend you to work out a little bit, I need to show something to this girl on the treadmill. I got really confused. M: Well, I can't just stop my exercise now, I need to finish it. After that he asks my friend the same thing and gets rejected too. After finishing exercising we went to the changing room and that guy was there too. D: Guys, sometimes you have to give up if someone needs it, especially if it's a girl. After that he made a "great" analogy saying that we should also give up seats to the elders in public transport (btw he was saying all this being full comando, not really relevant, just a funny detail) Am I the asshole?

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OTHER

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FPvuyDvKtDknbpoODExZVUq1LbIxygpM

a2gtot

AITA for calling a family member out ?

So my family member stole a bunch of napkins from a Starbucks because she didn’t feel like buying any right now (she took about 4 inches of napkins). So I called them out and told them it was trashy. They then proceeded to tell me about how they steal from us everyday and that we shouldn’t put up with big corporations. I then got annoyed and explained how they don’t have to buy from them and if they really wanted to they could make their own coffee, I was then informed that it’s “impossible to steal from a big business” this is simply untrue. I then walked off, and I felt like an asshole.

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OTHER

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IQ3CMdjZScwNmiUotVvVix0hxTideMux

amnfpg

AITA for resenting my partner’s teenage daughter?

My fiancée and I have been together for three years. When we first got together I really made an effort to connect with his then 12 year old daughter. Her mother is a chronic pot smoker who already had grown up children when (let’s call her Poppy) unexpectedly came along. I think out of a “been there done that” sort of mentality, her mother has never really put in much effort with her. Her father works full time and weekends to help support his daughter and to pay child support to his pot-addled ex-wife. As a result of this, he’s always done everything for her and she’s never really learned how to do things for herself. Over time it felt like the more I tried to help this kid, the less she was interested. I would take her to movies, classical music concerts, try to teach her how to cook, even things like how to put petrol in a car. I get that she’s a teenager and laziness is completely normal but she just doesn’t seem to have any motivation or interest in doing anything. I hate to say it but a few people have acknowledged that she doesn’t do a lot for the dumb blonde cliche. She goes to a less than average public school that I realised when she was 14 had allowed her to get through without being able to pick up the basics like how to spell “Wednesday”. She once (via text) asked if nachos were something that could be “makon” for dinner. I contacted her school principal, alarmed at her lack of literacy skills and he said that they were aware of the problem and had been testing her reading levels every six months. He acknowledged that in the last test, she had been ill but wanted to go ahead, at almost 15 years old she had the reading level of a six year old. She’s now in the tenth grade and continues to come home every day saying she doesn’t have any homework. I can’t tell if this is a lie or if the school isn’t pushing them on homework. Either way, she loves the school and I suspect it’s because she’s not pushed very hard to learn. It appears that neither of her parents have ever been to a parent/teacher meeting (one due to lack of interest, the other due to having to work), and so she’s managed to slip through the cracks of the education system without getting the basics. It ultimately came down to me to start tutoring her in spelling and grammar. I work for an education based organisation but I’m in marketing so I’ve got no inkling on how to teach kids. All the while despite my best efforts in finding her worksheets to do and going through them night after night, I’ve grown resentful to the fact that I’m the one trying to push her to learn and she has no initiative to improve herself or show any gratitude (I know, teenager). She will also ask questions that the answer to are obvious or could be worked out if she just thought about it. I’ve tried to say to her things like “let’s see if you can use your problem solving skills and work this out” until her father said I was being condescending and I shouldn’t be so mean to her. Today we were at a plant nursery and she asked what a plant was despite being barely two metres away from the big red label with the name of the plant clearly labelled. I also try to teach her to cook, showing her the basics in the kitchen and how to prepare fairly easy meals. When I try to get her to choose something and cook it under her own steam, she usually ends up crying over not knowing what to do. I’ve been showing her what to do for years. I’ve put her in charge of cooking once a week and picking what’s for dinner another day each week. She will procrastinate on both every single time until I feel like I want to bash my head against a brick wall. Her father’s work is physically intensive and he generally finishes work at 7pm and is absolutely starving. Poppy will still be trying to avoid doing anything in the kitchen until 8-8:30pm. I feel like she’s trying to get me annoyed enough that I will just give up and do it myself every single time. Nowadays it doesn’t even cross her mind to ask if she can help with dinner and will usually make herself scarce when dinner is being prepared in case she’s asked to do anything. When she went to go to her mother’s for the last three weeks of the school holidays recently, I suggested to her mother that she should continue what I’ve started and get Poppy to cook once in a while. Her mother immediately rejected the idea. I was aghast and tried to say something about teaching her life lessons but her mother just flippantly said that she’s happy to leave that up to me. There are many many more examples but Am I The Asshole for being frustrated by the fact that I’m the only person who can see this kid needs to be taught and encouraged to learn how to do things so she can get by later in life but the lack of initiative, motivation and interest from everyone including her is making me resentful and less inclined to want to help her?

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OTHER

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2SIqwrcz6wDNNeq2XvFknFOEy1DDFQ3W

a64k1b

AITA for not going to my best friend and housemates hen party?

I live with my best friend (let’s call her Stephanie) and her now fiancé (I’ll call him dave) , I pay rent for a room in the house they own together. Both enjoy having me there and in general the arrangement works out well. They both earn more than 3 x what I do, if this matters. They got engaged in July and I was asked to be a bridesmaid. I was very excited, and as this is my best friend of ten ish years I couldn’t imagine not being a part of their wedding. The groom and I are also good friends due to being housemates, we are almost like a little family. I do not like Stephanie’s friends. They are mean and shallow and materialistic and when I hang out with them I feel bad. I have a history of mental health issues if this matters - a big part of my road to recovery was understanding when I hung out with certain people, I would feel bad afterwards. My mental health has greatly improved since I stopped hanging out with this group of girls three or so years ago. I kept the friendships that didn’t make me feel bad - such as Stephanie. I enthusiastically agreed the hen do would be great and not to worry about me not liking the other girls going - I could be civil for a few days to celebrate my best friends wedding. Stephanie’s sister and some of the girls going organised the hen do in secret, wanting Stephanie to be surprised. Three days ago I received a text from this group asking for £350 by Saturday (tomorrow) - and that if I couldn’t afford it Stephanie’s mother would pay my share and I could pay her back £60 a month. The hen do will be a holiday to The south of france for four days, staying in a luxury villa/mansion, with a wine tour, a night out and a dinner. The £350 only covers flights and accommodation and will be in June next year. I do not have £350, I do not have £60 a month spare. I am on a debt management plan and my car broke two months ago, meaning I had to borrow money from an uncle and agree to pay him back £55 a month for three years. This was already a financial stress to me as I try to pay off my debt. I have been paying it off for three years and would have been debt free in a years time, but will be paying my uncle back for some years now. I don’t buy clothes, I don’t go out for dinners, I don’t get my hair and nails done. I am sensible with my money. I approached Stephanie and Dave (he just happened to be there) - I said I was embarrassed about being offered to pay her mother back as they obviously know I can’t afford the hen do, and that I just didn’t know how I was going to afford to go. Dave said it was disgusting of any friend, especially a bridesmaid, not to go to a hen party. He said he would go into debt or borrow money or “sell a limb” to be there for a friend. Stephanie said I was “being negative” that I would “upset her mum who offered to pay to be nice” and that I’m “ruining something she has dreamed of since she was a little girl” I laid awake that night for hours trying to think of what I could sacrifice so that I will have an extra £60 a month for this hen do. I feel awkward and uncomfortable living with people who want me to go into debt for their benefit, but can’t find anywhere else to live that I can afford, though I’ll keep looking. My anxiety is through the roof at the concept I’ll be in more debt if I go. AITA if I say I just can’t afford it and I’m not going? Even though they let me live in their home and have offered me a payment plan? I don’t want to hurt my finances but I don’t want to be an ungrateful cow of a friend. I was expecting the whole thing to cost around £200, which I probably could have squeezed. reddit, be brutal. Am I a tight fisted ungrateful asshole here??

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OTHER

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vmRNYrOdguzT7TCmo2oaYYZH1KXDhRzr

b32h5t

AITA for breaking up with him because of his politics (or lack thereof?)

I’ve been dating a guy, about 6 weeks. It’s been fun, he’s been thoughtful and accommodating. Yesterday he came over to my place and a couple things I’ve noticed make me want to end things with him - my friend says he was rude to them (and I fully believe my friend), he kept talking over me, explaining things that I already know. I know that ending things with him for those reasons is reasonable, but the reason I noticed them is because of a conversation about politics we had. First thing to know about me. I’m disabled, Jewish, Hispanic, and bisexual - I and people I love are directly affected by Trump’s rhetoric. I understand that some people think the system is doing more harm than any individual president can do, but I think that mindset is irresponsible due to the massive numbers of people being demonstrably hurt by Trump’s administration’s policies. Vote 3rd party in local and state elections to give them more recognizable candidates for bigger elections, canvass for whoever you want in the primaries, but when it comes to national elections, especially presidential, first priority for me is getting someone in office who will prevent the most harm from happening. I grew up in Florida - I’ve seen how third party votes act as spoilers. Maybe it’s a little judgmental, but I want to date someone who at least leans left (even if it isn’t as far as me) and votes practically in the elections (e.g. recognizing that voting your heart for a Green Party candidate because that’s who you truly want as president means that you’re eschewing your responsibility to do what you can to keep the worse viable candidate out of office). Anyway, my political diatribe is over. This guy is the one that brought up politics. He just. . . Doesn’t do them. He says he’s politically agnostic. He bought into the “Hillary is no better than Trump, I don’t trust her, the DNC is evil for how they pushed her in over Bernie” propaganda. He said that he definitely thinks Trump is awful, but that having a choice between two terrible candidates was a tipping point for him, and that the system is awful (agreed) and we need to get rid of it instead of voting between two evils (disagree - we need to change the system, but voting third party when they have no chance isn’t going to do that, and is going to allow whoever you think is worse a higher chance of getting in). I tried to find something we agreed on, but it seems like we have a fundamental disagreement over what’s more important (fixing the system long term or preventing harm short term). And also in political engagement - I go to protests, I phonebank, and the injustices in our political system are important to me. He doesn’t seem to have an opinion other than “everything sucks tear it down.” I think this would cause long term problems. Do I suck if this is why I turn him down?

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NOBODY

RIGHT

WR3QkBHLpJxvmwi5XVRgZ8FQfJ4VSPiq

b040g0

AITA for not wanting my sibling attending my college?

Ok, so this was a few years ago, but my family still often brings it up and treats me poorly over it. I chose to attend a college a few hours away from my home town, I had never really done anything on my own and NEEDED this opportunity, a year in my older (by 5 years) brother decided to enroll at the community college back home. Immediately my grandmother and aunt began to pressure him to instead enroll at my college and live on campus with me... At the time I was a closeted homosexual to my family, but was VERY open at school... In addition my brother is much more....... "Gregarious" than me. He makes friends easily, and on multiple occasions MY friends have chosen to ignore me in favor of him. In any case I love my brother, hut I was not comfortable with him being on my campus, and I politely made this clear by stating "I really don't want that, I have my own thing going on for the first time, and i really enjoy it" or something along those lines. I immediately got told what an unloyal brat I was, and how only trash people turn against their family... It upset me because it wasn't that I didn't want him there EVER, I just didn't want him there ALWAYS. Anyay, Reddit, Am I the asshole, or is this pretty much normal?

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ae4mhx

AITA for not wanting to discuss my feelings with my husband?

TL;DR caring husband likes to talk about shit, I just wanna be left alone, AITA? My husband(29), is in touch with his feelings, a little on the sensitive side, likes to talk about feelings and things of the sort. Well me(28/F), I don’t, I was raised you squash that mushy stuff down, put a smile on your face and carry on about your business. I have a Neurodegenerative disease, with it deal with depression, I’ve considered taking my own life, because I don’t want to live with this shit. I take meds to help with the depression, talk to a therapist. Recently just started disease modification therapy, to suppress my immune system. Lately, the spin, the depression, anger, and anxiety has been more than I can/want to handle. Sometimes it feels like if its not addressed, then it’s not there, just squash it down. On bad days I just want to be left alone, don’t want to talk about my thoughts, where my head is at, things that are going through my mind. Really just want to be left the fuck alone, to process. My husband tho, wants to sit and talk and hash everything out. I tell him I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll try to change the subject but am usually unsuccessful. He’s persistent with the damn questions, some I’ll answer just to try to ease his worries. He says talking should make me feel better. It doesn’t it makes me more angry, angry that he won’t leave me alone, angry that I have this stupid disease, just angry. It usually ends in me crying, and him upset that I’m upset and that I’m not willing to share. Other days, I have have a dark sense of humor mixed with sarcasm, and he gets upset. I know he cares and is just worried, I can see how he doesn’t think the things I say are as funny as I do. AITA for not wanting to talk about my feelings, when my husband so clearly does?

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avovsy

AITA FOR IGNORING MY WIFES CALLS

So context. Me and my wife have been going through a really rough patch in our marriage. So rough thats shes suggested we seperate. Its also important to mote that at this moment we live in seperate countries. Anyway today she thanked me for being strong and doing what i had to do in order to survive. I was confused because earlier that day she gave me a bunch of reasons why we possibly weren't good for each other. I replied with an ok thank you i guess. To which she asks why im unsure of my answer but not so directly. Theres alot of sarcasm involved and self criticizing that after 4 years together im able to translate into the previous statement. I told her i was confused and didnt feel like i deserved her thanks. She asked me to elaborate and so i did. She made a statement about how my texts seemed emotionless or uncaring. I apologized and explained that i had a bit of a mental break down today and was feeling very drained and just need time to reset myself. Immediately she starts calling. She just disregarded that fact that i was already putting my emotions to the side to help her understand what i was thinking and feeling because she felt the need to "be there for me". I ignored the calls. She followed up with some more sarcasm and self criticizing to provoke me to respond. I told her " I literally just told you I broke down today and need some time to recover". She followed up with more self criticizing comments to provoke more responses out of me. I replied with "Im glad we made this about you". Shes still messaging me but at this point nothing well say to each other will help the situation.

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adw7vy

AITA for being upset at my GF venting to her ex-bf about suicidal thoughts?

Hi all. So this morning I (M21) was talking to my girlfriend (F20) just as I normally do most mornings. She tells me that she was talking to her ex-boyfriend the night before (this doesn’t really bother me because it’s just talk and nothing more, I trust my girlfriend as we’ve been dating for 3-4 months now). Just some background, we’ll call her ex-bf “Bob”. Bob was, as she describes it, not the best bf in the world. He would never show up to visit her, left her on read for months on end and not talk to her for long periods of times (worst was like 4-6 months), and other more shitty things that I won’t get into. She has told me in the past that Bob hurt her a lot and I understood completely, which is why I told her to not talk to him anymore, but she keeps doing it, so I can’t do much more. Again, her talking to Bob doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is that afterwards she told me that whenever she has suicidal thoughts, that she talks to Bob about it. This had me completely upset and appalled. How could the same person who treated her like shit be the same person to be consoling her whenever she’s feeling down. I’ve done everything for my girlfriend like go out to see her every weekend (I work Mon-Fri and we live in different cities 2 hours apart), attend her recitals, talk to her every day, respect her wishes and boundaries, etc etc… I’ve done everything I can to make her feel happy and please her but she would rather talk about this type of stuff with scumbag Bob than with me… It just makes me feel like all my efforts are going down the drain and mean nothing to her and it's just completely disrespectful, I feel. Then she tells me that because the topic at hand (suicide) is extremely serious, it doesn’t matter who she talks with. AITA for being upset about all this?

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