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joangaes

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depression

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dear american teens question dutch person heard guys get way easier things learn age us sooooo thth graders like right guys learn math

nothing look forward lifei dont many reasons keep going feel like nothing keeps going next day makes want hang myself

music recommendations im looking expand playlist usual genres alt pop minnesota hip hop steampunk various indie genres artists people like cavetown aliceband bug hunter penelope scott various rhymesayers willing explore new genresartists such anything generic rap the type exclusively sex drugs cool rapper is rap types pretty good pop popular couple years ago dunno technical genre name anyways anyone got music recommendations favorite artistssongs

im done trying feel betterthe reason im still alive know mum devastated ever killed myself ever passes im still state im going hesitate ending life shortly after im almost take meds go therapy nothing seems help enough dont want around anymore hate feeling like this wouldnt wish upon enemy brain feels like constantly like static tv wont shut overthinking do think im running options dont see living past got accepted health science degree dont even know wanna try know im smart mental illness holds back think cant anything im good enough need fucking help dont know anymore ive run options

worried year old girl subject domestic physicalmental housewithout going lot know girl know girl etc let give brief background known girl years lives uk live different country kept touch electronic means first girl schizophrenic host illnesses too dad severe anger issues abuses physically mentally makes serve food wash dishes clean house shouts beats petty things like spilling water picking toys floor threatened knife beats plates glasses punches head last time got beat around month ago one siblings gets beat up tried tell mother beating showed bruises too mother refuses believe even laughed off probably fear confronting him husband yells wife too family treat well either sister mean tell father put trouble family tends isolate her even remember birthday all family cold her often tend alienate since act normal girl often feels suicidal due this inflicted selfharm cut wrist starves believes way family accept her make worse two incidents life must tell about raped walking back home night initially tell parents sometime later police reports filed rape suffered false pregnancy girl symptoms disorder like lactating breasts happened early depressed incident summer approximately family sent couple family friends wellknown treatments advertised herbal therapy accupuncture etc however happened next terrible left alone husband wife went somewhere else guy tortured her instance made sit container filled water upto neck closed lid imagine kind stress panic would cause schizophrenic patient miscellaneous details gt gets visit psychiatrist school able hide problems psychiatrist noted girl able put front really well gt five psychiatrists past gt enjoys drawingpainting learning new languages writing poems gt depressed tends victimized mentality blames problems want report abuse due trouble family face tells stopped cutting lately problem refuses tell anyone abuse even tries defend father saying fault help her although seem extremely suicidal concern physically mental abuse girl subject everyday healthy environment anyone grow in really wish rescued clutches belligerent controlling father dysfunctional family

hey rredflag sure right place post this goes im currently student intern sandia national labs working survey help improve marketing outreach efforts many schools recruit around country were looking current undergradgrad stem students stem student know stem students would greatly appreciate help take pass along short survey thank you everyone helps take survey entered drawing chance win one three amazon gcs

feel like someone needs hear tonight feeling right think cant anything people keep puting listen this its your life everyone else living it someone tells unable something work get done say wrong someone says youl never make it work hard make end one make it could make putting people like that see life nobody tell cant do one tell live where love look end let climb height hope someone needed hear tonight beutiful life good night sincerely austin zippy

deserve liveif died right noone would carei real friendsi always start conversations get dry responses i feel comfortable around females emotional abuse mom put left usi never find love i keep getting reminded everyday failure disappointment parents compared siblingsi first suicidal thought afraid grades good enough parents this probably end soon

feels good ive set dateim killing friday nice finally know im gonna it bye

live guiltok made stupid random choice its getting me basically molested relative super erratic thing haunting right now random walk home randomly assaulted classmate screamed name loud pretty much annoying asshole everything could torment later excluded i excluded well none mattered later went bunch horrible things people already loner death wish gets everyday living guilt possibly created mass shooter hear hes basically end life ready die

excercise motivated ngl cant wait get shape know gonna overnight im happy right now

know youd rather laid big booty body hella positive cuz got big booty

even time fuck supposed mean

usual hollywood stereotyped everyone movie but one classic uptight white collar banker russian woman well done even facial expressions great language perfect even russian language nicole splendid job hey guys get pay for

think it nearly unbelievable film could made death penalty one worlds controversial topics offends neither against testament tim robbins extraordinary intelligence sensitivity traits seen acting roles well shawshank redemption jacobs ladderbr br this film fact hints subtle compromise for against camps subtle cant put words subtle point vanishing yet one gets sense watching picture compromise possible somehow worked look deeply enough

trying rd time k krma special

guy coming sure wear f hey guy friend coming tomorrow im excited im sure wear ive known since middle school weve talking couple months and honest know really care wear will want wear dress something thatd give way feminine impression like dresses often want give impression me makes sense im thinking wearing cargo shorts friends tell nobody likes cargo shorts though like normal pants know of cargo pants thing is seen person since want make absolutely sure good impression want look nice like put much effort casual like care im gonna light makeup ive got couple pics makeup im gonna bc makeup like yesterday anyone wants see makeup uh guess ill link it also anyone makeup advice hmu think ill worry nails ill probably something pastelmakeup lookhttpsimgurcomaqaorpl

one best episodes entire xfiles series creepy beyond words tension suspense episode well executed entire minutes managed almost scary entire movie episode joins ranks best episodes greats home humbug bad blood milagro best respective seasonbr br mulder scullys growing relationship put test episode really trust other episode also contains tiny scene leave romantic viewers smilingbr br mulder bring mittens

good byehey you know sure hell know me goodbye probably mean anything you plus bother read rules sub may may taken down hard getting harder weakened much ever since small innocent child things bad almost every day stuck middle parents fighting years id hide table parents shouted eachothe marriage children mistake maybe mistake remember one morning sitting dining room table eating breakfast hear mother become hysterical upstairs run house backyard screaming sky remember words screamed later learned oldest brother attempted redflag remember lot things childhood years trying forget many memories theyve coming back me kid socially isolated stuck day friends one entire life panic inside even saying one word people know ive thinking maybe different tried talk people littlemaybe social outcast today many opportunities ive missed thrown away hurts im waste life whole life ive trapped body constantly wish someone else hope die come back good person people actually like care about knew age definitely say im young way young stay wait things around crumbling including myself ive crumbling know like im dust time wind take me hope you reading good life things bad turns around you me love love

tried put sugar coffee back spoon happy monday everyonestay safe sunflowers one days

sure leave noteso im struggling place leave note obvious family die find read it especially includes instructions funeral i want wasting money it shit like that need find soon can want find kill though difficult impulsive person know exactly im going it definately happening soon want find die freak out leave this

bruh wish dumb years ago ignorance bliss im aware fucked people enjoyable

want die even tho feels like dead yearshello everyone want tell u depression loneliness general feeling wanting end life good dont even know im this idk im looking posting so im ashamed problems point feel ashamed writing strangers wont ever see life since like years ago problem bad breath really mean bad cant erase even directly brushed teeth trying heal sickness long time little success many doctors free health care dont live us obviously im unemployed cant afford pay doctor stopped trying go doctors one doctor laughed sickness literally could feel didnt care gave vibe its sickness go home imagine struggling even talk openly doctor receiving ur nuts sick threatment him im sure people dont problem hard understand hard me let put like would u feel u stepped shit couldnt wipe offwould u comfortable walking around standing next someone talking someone obviously dont even need talk someone smell it breathing thru nose like result got anxiety standing someone going shop like climbing mount everest me achieve nothing life none want anything person smells none ever take serious someone like that want able interact people

im barely holding oni night prolonged panic attack get lot one sustained take loraz butbit isnt working im back lamictal hasnt kicked yet bipolar ii im depressed phase im clawing skin fantasizing bleeding out punch feel dont know long this everything spiraling hold together dont lose apartment job family want dead done dont know help point

im warn you please hear out hello getting straight point searching friends know basic daily stuff hitted upon someone nickname umykittylolitahttpswwwredditcomusermykittylolita asking discord since everything started get outta hand stalking even hiding fact they even doubt really girl digging private info even that one hella weird cutting or faking cut seem rly legit me arm nickname used go by owie sending images time trying take logic understanding approach understood much blocked em off got join discord server mins also banned em server order keep rest members save started inviting many active people server server started straightup talking shit me dropping many screenshots private conversations possible weirdconcerning creepy repulsive yall doublecheck watchout

me think think lost matter point never felt want much

got told im lot prettier person girl talked lot video chat idk feel it good thing think ugly video calling prettier relative saw before think

every success ever life come extremely lucky high school applied one college early got in senior year college depressed incapacitated managed send one grad school application somehow got accepted grad school ending still depressed actually work applying jobs replied email got sent mailing list on miraculously got hired last year got laid covid could even work motivation send resume anywhere old boss called offered position back somebody else quit spot opened upi never done work deserve things feel like cannot actually function independent adult wait things magically fall lap keep going another year every time way rock bottom manage make back surface water keep desperately gasping air little longer honestly wish could finally drown get with everything pure luck deserve it

emptynever know time gonna up id admit mental ward im

bad memories keep playing headover again thought this

wish people family owned cats dogs like cousins million nd amp rd cousins like aunts uncles none pets like how nearly classmates least family member pet im one family genuinely loves animals understand cousins living situation unable pets rich cousins

got friends prank call yoooooo yall got numbers boys prank call us

discovered film love it right mix fast moving story entertaining characters hilarious moments but overloaded stupid jokes fun performances kelsey grammar harry dean stanton ron schneider rip torn more buckman especially good really enjoyed watching guy played stapanickbr br i also find interesting used real submarine pampanito running top scenes emulated almost exactly sets set decoration really impressive digital tour pampanito online compare scenes movie excellent job filmbr br what light entertaining truly enjoyable movie

redflag vegas final chapteri know lame op deliver especially know right begging pull figurative trigger ive seen beautiful crosssection humanity last hours im hopeless position im end resources ive tried positive thinking reaching friends like nothing helping came back guys sorry gender specific pronoun actually helped last night wrestle fact still think desperate plea attention even worse attempt guerrilla marketing struggling writer lack success intentions last night paints unfavorable light get that shit bothers too gets right even solve problems listed previous entry im still pretty doomed heres another desperate cast sea lowliness feel struggling find reason keep going responded previous post please take personally im really hoping see efforts wasted im asking help situation tonight dire before though id fault equate boy cried wolf help

cant go oni wanna kill ive gone shit cant bare life anymore im always shouted main person complain fucking shit self harm cuts armwrist cant tell anyone coz one mum dad always going want stop think redflag everyday probably leave everything soon need support reason live please help

im probably going get body pillow printed plain white body pillow need hug something im crying sleep

cant cope please helpso im bi cant cope mum hates parents going disown find im bi theyve made clear religion family classmates mocking accidently swore loudly class teacher took class grandma basically raised really young terminally ill dying friend nearly killed weeks ago kind mental illness already feel suicidal deppresed think im going another deppriesive episode cant deal another one nearly killed last time time worse know mum also gaslights think tell shell say im selfish making dad worry last timethe time ever told suicidal said selfish fault satan decided test faith must easy target know cope please help parent gonna disown way kill save mum hassle cutting off

finally upgarded grandma bought new phone beneath using s yearsd

eat decide

giving thoughtsive wanting od since im almost getting worse started wasnt bad easy distract thoughts pretty infrequent cant get head things much complicated thoughts mainly bother me part wants give make stop

im fine lost good longtime friend addiction and directly od morning let world get you seek help pleaseugh ugh

would stay sign things would get better things bad last three years keep getting worse tough feel im cursed im bipolar many months doctors thought schizophrenic because psychotic episodes present way disorders dealing stressful project work noticed imagination getting vivid period months thinking technicolor started getting paranoid people trying set failure take advantage me compounded stress family member experiencing serious liferuining illness landed hospital extended stay snapped stopped able cope reality invented imaginary world escape extremely overactive imagination filled blanks delusion matrix existed created illuminati went many lifetimes trying find way out began believe psychic communicating around either helping supporting illuminati even difficult delusion tied whole life story experiences like perfect web lies get own lived like months incredible stress pretending normal trying figure do got point continue working acted work meeting w superior called hr told take weeks off took months work doctors identify bipolar reaction medication schizophrenia included month long hospital stay surprise doctor thought schizophrenic first bipolar bad untreated bipolar takes long treat lithium kill increase slowly blood tests course months took years go reach stability spent lot time hospital laying bed taking walks nurses checking couple times day nice time relax fraught even delusions still going hospital took two three weeks antipsychotics thoughts calm down return work eventually lessstressful role per occupational therapists suggestion months occupational therapist said could return normal work work never put back normal projects im assuming want client facing chance could happen again little less year almost weekly doctors visits told need role anymore position terminated want pursue human rights claim even though occupational therapist said should saw exhausting taking time away job search ruining possibility key references thats story mental illness stealing sanity job independence course several years wonder people turn drugs life fall apart year year absolutely ptsd flashbacks daily im extremely lucky parents support this become homeless bipolar people commits redflag right cant afford independent humiliating living situation certainly nontoxic would great universe gave sign continue part society really need positive momentum reserves empty hope involves finding good job become independent again interviews coming january wish luck please need it things turn around im planning make exit

slept hours want relapse cannot stop thinking abt got raped everytbint bad parente abuse me hooked drugs going kill myself cannot

remember always saying cannot wait til kid now nothing changed work manage finish school slipped groups friends bad guys all effect indirectly motivating skip work skip classes rather take take drugs them point hanging without sort drug involved exist anymore blame still love friends moved another city currently months since moved room mess know nobody city still work still drink take drugs difference take alone constantly depressed nothing changed better all wish people could relate situation all wish best nothing changed

start feeling anything better wth anybody know long citalopram eight years mgs daily feedback appreciated almost months without citalopram

starting feel like endive married years give take last wife affair guy try leave move on keeps coming back guilt decided go back lost jobs day thanksgiving lucky enough land two interviews get offer day thanksgiving least today told offer rescinded signed anything yet dealing suicidal thoughts number years aside lack funds dealing personal issues also fulltime student working towards degree years left earn it lost motivation still continue study complete assignments live area job market great could due holidays sure made plan wrote notes tried even talk think getting closer finally ending all son pretty much focusing future even moved back moms finish final year school mother keeps telling im fighter survivor get anything fight years old yeah young spent life working taking care wife could get degree left days later came back months left mom got cancer motives guy claims keeps wanting end side relationship healthy previous job became toxic group employees like guy me accused affair playing favorites making work environment hostile primary person reported someone worked with least month longer made comments asking still favorite prior never reciprocated smiling going day entire department turned scared making wild claims false even started looking work immediately grounds borderline sexual misconduct pursuing career cybersecurity could affect future things like made feel like secret clearance jobs required trustworthy employee going grasp panicked another complaint came department saying texted someone outside work called beautiful got mad reciprocated office full women healthcare environment felt like management everyone suddenly buying it point coo told if feel need go one making stay here said blue investigation spoke people outside work even got legal advice much could done without evidence proof slandered completely cut ties everyone felt like toxic untrustworthy environment made matters worse let go not cultural fit difficult understand things went wrong fault way keep telling nothing needed apologize for every day passes get calls anyone interviews etc makes feel like given sign give up little money unemployment keep roof head long wife left coming back help me little family struggling themselves idea cope much last jobs toxic like was maybe sign dunno

pls stop please stop posts ask crush kinda weird im pretty sure reddit dating app text something sorry bad english even though english first language

wanna im sure howso uh yeah really wanna myself im tired everything need permanent solution point dont really means anything im kinda fucked rn dont want live anymore fuck

keep ya head bro girls call ugly want remember go swipe makeup remover keep ya head king

done misery tired tired going bed every night tired waking every morning tired listening fucking dumb every day tired looking job tired opening people make fun me pretend care tired tell only reason still alive want destroy brothers life knowing brother would even care real reason coward tired looking fucking reason tomorrowi know do know even trywhen fell friends family showed real faces showed much care much want deal shit much want leavei wish end it done take away want iti wish could restart fucking game delete old saves start over fucking wishi hope everyone reading someone around hard times everyone deserves it hope happy tired

feel cold hollow insideive never written anything like before everyone know getting married long term relationships cant seem even garner interest thought never anyone puts deepest darkest depression want beautiful woman feel like utter failure im friend intimacy feel like im always awkward embarressing want end waste life really want die ill struggle along really want stop know im typing this get chest perhaps whatever

year old sister attempted redflag friday looking guidanceshes currently hospital still psych weve helping treatment past year im loss communicate effectively positively anymore want upset want trust me im looking sort guidance go this im lost love much want help much possible sure correct place post is

everyone seems enjoy suicidal nobody cares

failing college know do long post yo repeat exams im sure failed them second time im sure get college majority friends gt people left city countries parents live km away anyone give good reason end now friend left im tired time im fucking failing every aspect life exercise eat properly try get early nights cant ever feel happy social life one talk to future college air feel like im stuck mud everyones passing by apologies upset anyone

current bf care guy friends trusts put precarious position feeling guilt go away cant spend rest life working spending time home away people level redflag near panic attack occasionally leads one point dont eat barely sleep days tldr feeling guilty nothing conditioned previously abusive relationship

rabbit died rabbit named thumper died fell garden pot broke neck really nice bunny fearless scared anyone add insult injury happened right birthday idk posting sad

okay wasnt expecting rented film see would since want see first one anyway film bmovie it watched realized funny first minutes snowman kiiling people one man losing sanity first minutes funny one liners it throws first little minions knew would funny act like gremlins ninteen eighty four hit gremlins made look like spoofing made forget bmovie like laugh rent one

title rock abuse im scared deadrock bullying lately really wanted kill myself thing is scared scared rock music genre rock person online terryfing im scared violent im scared listen im scared please redflag way nothing else im scared im fucking scared meeting since threatend sell valuable things life yes power im scared im really scared please help myself im scared sorry im scared tried meet park pictured him scared even more big cant strong big scares me tried stab i scared said try would slaughter dog dont want anymore mg acetaminophen way please painless im scared im scared ok love hate im scared miss pebble was might need call help help im scared rock remember im gone ill haunt you scared best regards dead

mom literally yells get house moment im asked hang friends mom yells anyway summer house basically everyday walking around town friends everyone stoped inviting hang out meanwhile mom yells asking stopped getting house little bit ago one friend called asked wanted hang her go ask mom drive says no give reason keeps saying no idek think rn im mad upset

hello anyone feeling suicidal hear people lying truth httpswwwyoutubecomwatchvjkcjcbtqehttpswwwyoutubecomwatchvjkcjcbtqe feel suicidal go

kill tonight realwhats point

husband told odive detoxing trying hard get clean husband told im well well saturday got blackout drunk hit hard od hang slit wrists unlike know save family ive put hell detox got hit man almost hundred pounds weight more

reasons suck generally cold unfeeling person most know definitely come dick robot somethin friends rarely ever show emotion say talk shit must major trust issues something cuz even tell best friend feel however time definitely dump drama certain way much may tell bff anything really bad habit bitching one friends im sure sucks them feel like id rather tell randos subreddit friends fact did one previous posts here drag people shit reason recently took break instagram felt like bad mental health way ive pretty depressed passed months first time really public friends going even though go detail anyways got bunch em concerned well being brought up days directed towards checking see im okay im completely wasting time im genuinely rude family already mentioned im generally robotic im significantly worse family zero respect them im holding grudges probably

got practicals files chem project assignments software based project submit tomorrow gonna go school tomorrow deal whatever monday or tuesday thank you thats much work sooo tired watching netflix stuff

even bother anymorehi got suspended hours school parents told wont care killed told multiple times past weeks suicidal thoughts im saying attention ive almost killed times past year seems like everytime im it start thinking effect would cause parents even death would burden them however said today im sure even bother continue ive got massive list punishments im allowed see friends next months celebrate birthday next week going improve would really easier end now

feel like attempting againthe last time first time ever tried september ended hospital mental hospital back home it wanted life change wanted guy wanted confident wanted ability actually make friends get that felt like going but nope im still pathetic loser goes stupid school fucking hate that im butt listening dad complain financial emotional stress hes under fucking ask that makes feel horrible hes saying shit like i think realize much trouble caused do know much bills cost thats masters degree makes feel like im unwanted am stupid kid fucked everything up feel suicidal dad deserve asshole kid like me sad part is hes fucking right says care anyone myself point view feelings matter feel okay whats point living fuck everyone else care dad cant find job someone even know pain fuck them get bent obviously im exaggerating pretty selfish want someone im upset nonjudgmental say everythings okay let cry like fucking baby basically want mom again maybe shed emotional wreck too shed disappointed me least would compassionate she know pussy guy even act like one ill get pushed around men actually dude fuck want that theres girl school intimidates me really let get me anyway im loser like alpha female thats even thing mocks say something stupid lesbian man am girl fuck say oh im transgender school would make much better candidate would fuck that hell pissed off cant cooperate people try make lives easier make everything harder feel like people need me one ever understand ive done many dumb things want deal everything ive caused want find shotgun flip everyone again deal shit anymore feel like waiting live own friends actually selfworth want see change life now want go new school want practice assertiveness want want want want yeah me im asshole anything unless feel like crap know would time obviously would much effective way took pussy way even physically hurt me maybe all know fuck need help

dont deserve helpim victim cant victim youre simultaneously assailant

eat whole ass grape one bats eye eat whole ass lemon societ goes wild

lot delayed this im doneim sorry thank kind words cant keep anymore cant

might play song repeat next week december frankie vali seasons fucking slap might listen times week depends feel

imm kill himgave dealer xtx mdma speed ran without giving shit swear god text back ill murder ass

friends turn to want alone anymoreis advice give make friends in person

anyone else get education fucked corona school decided mark everyone result cant continue second year maths alevelit feels unfairbecause start yeari couldve improved much even able take second year fucking virus

said no but feel great quarantine tough lonely asking someone great thing either keep current position get something great keep asking im right ya

insanitygirlfriend broke me put alot feelings onto suppressed problems tell about said needed time is dating someone else dont know expected anything different continue fucked around with cast aside walk forward stumble im tired getting back up people work telling kill ask help basic tasks supposed friends abandoning time need wrists blank slates carvings among them know am alone hollow pariah amongst living feel dead join dead pain go away life gift cant give someone else know people around would devastated ive seen anything years replaced temporary mourning continuation life strength strength death death hope

like memes happy guy last post making comment section controversial tries prove point cant like memes happy

starting online school weeks school could teaching us differently expected starters think wed using zoom all were gonna log in tasks thats it know could same

loookin friends magical dms open lookin peeps hang n long conversations

understand life might difficult right trust life sucks tell amazing going great things anyone needs talk see queens later amazing people

yo guys house right now hugged loooool cant express words happy

normally like romantic films love film much story really touching ending appropriate feel really care many characters film feel feel feelings romantic films always make feel detached bored one completely makes feel involved starting scene capshaw running along beach scott ending scene want rate film want give extra one point ending acting part strong kate capshaw good opportunity show talent though im impressed scott dead man campus film completely changes viewpoint towards him hes irresistibly charming here geraldine mcewan terrific everbr br film might good complex deep believable films deal little bit kind relationship lecole de la chair post coitum animal triste the love letter still proud casts rare different light kind relationship difference makes film eminently enjoyable unambitious relying great charms small stars dreamworks time really make dream come true

wish werent alonei wish outlet time dont want unload friends know problems cant talk parents either dad thinks people narcolepsy demonpossessed hates lgbt moms bit openmindedexposed cares grades im tired process everything diary tired it one comforts myself im fucking tired it im run down barely energy process feelings friendships wavering im glad friends arent judgmental wouldnt want bother rants somehow im glad dont seem hate really talking much dont like anything ive got energy even myself much less people although havent told anything mental state think sense im really well mean tell worried might failing school year seemed perceptive understanding it need write diary right now like said im done alone feel like going diary signifier nobody nobody talk to im done carrying everything myself

im exhausted want end alloriginally posted rdepression ive suffered depression since young age life threatening hereditary illness reduced life expectancy years old carry healthy lifestyle successfully receive organ transplants etc illness cannot children unlikely ever able adopt foster im currently years old made sure everything wanted life bar family early possible try focus career ensure made sort difference world three years university worked dream job ended quitting due stress anxiety depression bullying work basic administration job half pay limiting amount travel one thing actually made happy hate job mostly unfulfilling mundane come home work eat dinner watch tv go bed begins again applying jobs attending interviews almost every one applied for past months shitty job managed bag feedback interviews almost always you right experienceskillsdrive looking for another candidate experiencewho worked past whole life obviously revolve around job big part influences mood daytoday basis since teenager bounced relationship relationship focusing energy person allowing control happiness understand pathetic unhealthy is around people always something made feel better myself despite enjoying around people much tolerance actually quite low find getting irritated small things quite frequently months ago met boy got well seemed really me met point ready give up everything prepared end life plan boy walked life gave reason carry on maybe pinned much hope working out seemed genuine supported days pushed look better job made feel like life worth living again weekend told despite liking me happy me come realisation prepared relationship something hes ready for understand cannot make stick around would cruel guilt trip staying tried avoid best can realisation hit one darkest days ive several years might hit hard forcing even darker bout depression im angry deciding want suddenly making wanted first place understand fleeting people be taking relationship one day time happy wanted spend time liked am made solid permanent thing made believe longhaul wanted me that started calling girlfriend suggested introducing parents planned trips together im angry changed mind im angry still likes me happy me genuinely sees ruining good thing still continues anyway im angry despite telling closest friends already feeling day telling decision yet get touch make sure im okay people friends decade shaped life personality likes dislikes people know best know struggle depression anxiety know history drug abuse redflag attempts failed medications therapy sessions know reach need help im lowest keep myself want end life day told thinking want to told needed help told much live for make list told me plans weekend cancel despite everything boy told would me friend want life friend want continue boyfriend understand cannot force that hurts know cant like again know live friend nothing more always going want more think fair either us but actual friends stopped caring clearly ive cried wolf one many times maybe time cry wolf maybe time ill it go ahead original plan end all sad sounds reason go ahead kill soon left yesterday hope might change mind hope dwindling second

family friends one talk toand people internet offer talk them also severe trust issues paranoia cant develop healthy relationship anyone unless comfortable someone tell really feel basically im traped mind able tell anyone sick really want die

damn miserable alone loner confidence awful pitiful miserable existencei cinema alone one go withi everything life miserable alone nobody england final euro cup football nobody watch match with even though monumental huge thing countrybeing alone fucking awful spend life alone remain miserable alone death life fucking awful cope miserable alone loner confidence

years last postmany helped overcome last rock bottom years ago would like share update still alive still constantly thinking ending life sometimes manage distract never long time today ordered helium tanks feel like really tried years find happiness find way accept scars find way fill endless hole inside me cant everyone tells give another year tired trying want peace days helium tanks arrive finally end sadness life remember me want know really tried overcome years extra thank investing energy time trying save me

sort like primitive episode general hospital set natal ward and one tough cases that fastmoving programmer satisfying emotional impact mainly eric linden distraught young husband main plot palpably wreck good reason expectant wife loretta young brought ward beginning year prison sentence offing lecher probably coming him ms young always anything disinvite audience sympathy little good true though sympathetic lovely look at course difficult pregnancy relationships girls ward form heart movie outcome entirely happy one feels right aline macmahon one cinemas perfect actresses apt words film historian david thomson exudes warmth authority head nurse glenda farrell nonetoowilling new mom twins gets croon frankie johnny drunken lullaby frank mchugh figures another subplot gets show range warners usually permitted him scaled paced modestly lindens expectantdad panic stays days sort part often played laughs hes terrified young kid trouble persuasive

im bored asf someone entertain please like anything want dm

reading likely know feeling also reading may realise important people talk getting this one anymore ex took them found new man took everything still admire her why want someone ask question too god hate this realised position people talk too not

cyberbullied turn damn computer

honestly fuck im gonna acid like wanna try astral projection yeah

got rejected jobbasically got rejected personality enthusiastic enough reserved truly realize bad introvert actually is selfesteem already completely ruined year old kissless virgin utterly annihilated truly feel like im worthless allowed live wish somebody would shoot bullet head end misery

anyone predictions disasters coming months one hope year wont bring many tragedies last lets make guesses anyway

feel completely lifelessive felt way couple years now hardly feel real emotion put happy face throughout day want nothing break get home cant thing keeps happy skateboarding girl loved last years life seeing totally dropped life feel left nothing im start second year college royally fucked first year im pretty much retaking classes get kicked ive academic probation since first semester course parents know make seem everything great ill never able hold steady job life know fact ill either able find job within skateboarding industry stuck working pathetic job rest useless existence tip iceberg terrible person am could go day terrible things done huge disappointment parents generally worthless am im ready end all ive thought rational irrational times decided whats best me world around leaving make space someone succeed wont want die pill bottle could demise mere feet away calling possibly night end bullshit

hate bryce hall wanted make clear bye

weird or im ambivert already tell pretty weird me scenarios ive every one either extravert part kicks introverted part does talking girls im extraverted talking siblings cousins im extraverted talking older relatives uncles aunts etc im introverted this includes parents too talking random people ive never met probably weirdest one them depending theyre looks age gender depends im extraverted introverted talking friends think two friends talk without introverted pretty decent amount friends too weird

weeks ago saved friend redflag suspended reddit day got unbanned checked online friends accounts one active rredflagwatch gonna commit days talked it still talk day pissed got banned temporarily saved life end probably wouldnt checked account didnt happen btw know check accounts posts banned put app took break would terrifying check wouldnt able message talk out

emo anything but songs lonely palaye royal irony christopher resonate like alot supposed to like first time listened like damn son thats me

else dobefore begin long post amp hope take time read this need help think im rational person understand impact redflag affect connected me but feeling myself honestly believe peaked human hope writing community strangers may help find relief constant tightness feel chest maybe someone relate im going through since ive hit s life starting reflect mistakes yesterday ive moved back parents pictures last years life lost lot confidence myself year old female starting balding see scalp day even taking showers makes depressed run fingers hair doesnt stop falling out dont want go anymore dont want sun without hat hair loss definitely wrecked confidence im trying take depression hands exercise days week see positive change body even friends havent see awhile tell end day dont want alive anymore feel like dont anything offer recklessly put debt hindered ability buy home own watch friends buy first homes share lives significant others put wall around myself havent dated sex anyone years tell im okay myself always going emptiness may sound weird im oddly okay wanting end life affect family friends keeping here heal time cant put fast forward button that im tired feeling way tired crying tired me religious im tried looking sort guidance god thought would be would god speak me would tightness chest lifted accepted god life else do

im ready plan redflagimagine chronically ill slowly killing you imagine active person young s sick hospitals wheelchair imagine dislocating times day thats tip iceberg pain wise like youre ripped apart crushed time im done things keep happening things keep happening fears theres nothing death black leaving family friends dont want hurt anyone many illnesses diagnosed ptsd times yeah things tip breaking point ive tried staying strong want believe god dont want nothing tomorrow makeup last time tomorrow ill say goodbye parents grandpa tomorrow ill give one last good memory me ill leave court documents mom take lawsuit company caused major car accident resulting airlifted ill call friends siblings ill finish hard drive send man groomed took family body still damaged mind forever ill write notes mother taking people civil criminal courts tonight ill type will saturday night ill overdose somewhere loved ones wont see associate dying im done im done theres one wish family okay black something something real want watch loved ones dont want die wanted live life living want smell flowers hike again dance again want go gorge wanted live bad help people cant anymore cant