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What, Rick? What’s going on?
I got a surprise for you, Morty.
It's the middle of the night. What are you talking about?
Come on, I got a surprise for you. Come on, hurry up.
Ow! Ow! You're tugging me too hard!
We gotta go, gotta get outta here, come on. Got a surprise for you Morty.
Yeah, Rick... I-it's great. Is this the surprise?
Morty. I had to I had to do it. I had— I had to— I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb.
What?! A bomb?!
We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start.
T-t-that's absolutely crazy!
Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica.
Jessica? From my math class?
When I drop the bomb you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? I want you to have the thing. I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam.
Ohh...
And Jessica's gonna be Eve.
Whhhh-wha?
And so that's the surprise, Morty.
No, you can't! Jessica doesn't even know I exist! But—but, but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity!
I-I get what you're trying to say, Morty. Listen, I'm not You don't got Y-you don’t gotta worry about me trying to fool around with Jessica or mess around with Jessica or anything. I'm not that kind of guy, Morty.
What are you talking about, Rick?
You-you don't have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. Sh-sh-she— she, she, she's all for you, Morty.
I don't care about Jessica! Y-Yyyyyyyyyyou—
You know what, Morty? You're right. Let's forget the girl altogether. She, she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways.
That's it... that's it, Rick. I'm taking the wheel.
Get off of me, Morty!
I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy! I'm put—I’m, I'm, I'm, I'm puttin’... I-I’m, I’m, I’m not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb... dumb person and just le-let you ruin the whole world!
Come on! What’s gotten into you? If you love Earth so much why don’t you marry it? What are you, crazy? Alright, alright, Morty.
Alright. I'll-I'll land. I'll land. I'll land. I'll land the thing. I’ll land the thing. Big tough guy all of a sudden.
We'll park it right here, Morty. Right here on the side of the ree road here.
Oh, thank god.
You know what? That was all a test, Morty. Just an elaborate test to make you more assertive.
It was?
Sure. Why not? I don’t, I don't know. Y-you know what, Mo—
Dad?
What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
Oh my god, my parents are so loud, I want to die.
Mm, there is no God, Summer. You gotta rip that band-aid off now. You'll thank me later.
Okay, with all due respect, Rick— what am I talking about? What respect is due? How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole?
Listen, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you something—tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time. Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, \"two plus two.\" The people in the back say, \"four.\" Then the—then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue. This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them.
Oh, geez, Frank. I don't know if a knife is necessary. I mean, you know, y-you kind of had things handled without it.
There you are, Morty. Listen to me. I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension. I need an extra pair of hands.
Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-what'd you do to Frank?
It's pretty obvious, Morty. I froze him. Now listen I need your help, Morty. I mean, we got we got to get get the hell out of here and go take care of business. It's important. Come on, Morty.
I don't know, Rick. I can't leave school again.
Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty? What do you think I can just do it all by myself? Come on!
Aw, geez. Okay. I guess I can skip history. What about Frank? I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?
I'll do it later, Morty. He'll be fine. Let's go.
Hey, Tom! We know when we're losing him. WE CAN HEAR THE BEEPS!
There she is. All right. Come on, Morty. Let's go.
Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?
It's Dimension 35-C, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree, Morty, called a Mega Tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about Mega Seeds. They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty.
Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing.
All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be—
HOLY CRAP, MORTY RUN!!!
I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here, Morty! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty!
All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?
Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there. What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing.
Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave.
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Morty, you see this?
The mega trees?
That's right, Morty the mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about, Morty. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school.
All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?
You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an under- underfoot figure.
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on!
Hello? Mrs. Smith? This is Principal Vagina, no relation. I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon?
Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on. I had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze.
I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!
Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?
Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.
Okay, hold on just a second, Morty.
Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you.
Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?
Sure thing, Rick.
Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place, Morty.
Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.
There's just one problem, Morty one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there, Morty. It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, Morty, and they-they-they— they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left, Morty. It's got no charge left.
What?!
It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty.
Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?
There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.
Uh-oh.
When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.
In my butt?
Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.
Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that.
Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty
Uuuh.
And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable. You got to do it for grandpa, Morty. Y- you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.
In my butt?
Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty.
The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.
I don't like it here, Morty. I can't abide bureaucracy. I don't like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?
Yeah, Rick. Let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy. They hurt.
That means they're good ones. You're a good kid, Morty. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-
Why does he have to go over there?
What new- what new machine?
Aaaaah!
Don't think about it!
Whoooooo!
I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, Morty. Cover me.
Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody.
They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots!
They're not robots, Rick!
It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty. You have no idea what prison is like here!
Holy crap! This is insane!
Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here!
Yeah.
You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass.
I'm an angry father, not an improviser.
Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, Morty! What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your-your parents and I are very disappointed in-in this behavior No? No takers?
You're beyond our reasoning!
Takes one to know one.
Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.
What what are you guys doing with my stuff?
We're moving you to a nursing home.
A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun.
Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.
What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?
Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes.
I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?
Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once.
Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi.
Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't.
The square root of Pi, Morty. Go!
Holy crap. He's right.
Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics.
But—
I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty's a gifted child. He has a special mind. That's why he's my little helper. He's like me. He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life. He's too smart for school. He needs to keep hanging out and helping me.
No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But he has to keep going to school.
Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You-you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication.
Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!
No idea what you're talking about.
Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter.
Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.
Aw, man.
Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty.
Ohh, man. Oh, geez! Ohh.
I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more adventures. And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty and you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart, Morty but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you're gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, Morty. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only friends we've got, Morty. It's just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. Morty's things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures.com. All 100 years. Every minute, rickandmorty.com.
Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet! Bad dog! Bad!
Morty, come on. I need your help tonight.
Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick. You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?
I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread. Come on, Morty.
Aw, man!
Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry.
Snuffles.
Snuffles, shake.
Roll over.
Go to the bathroom.
No way.
Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Jerry. Have fun. Come on, Morty.
That was fantastic, Rick!
Yeah, Morty, if you like that, boy, you're you're really going to flip your lid over this one.
W-w-w-what is it?
It's a device, Morty, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Morty. It's just like that movie that you keep crowing about.
You talking about \"Inception\"?
That's right, Morty. This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it's gonna may--be make sense.
\"Inception\" made sense.
You don't have to try to impress me, Morty. Listen, tonight we're gonna go into the home of your math teacher, Mr. Goldenfold, and we're gonna incept the idea in his brain to give you A's in math, Morty. That way you can, you know, y-you're gonna help me with my science, Morty, all the time.
Geez, Rick, in the time it took you to make this thing, couldn't you have just, you know, helped me with my homework?
Are you listening to me, Morty? Homework is stupid. The whole point is to get less of it.
You don't know me!
Uh-oh! Spoilers!
Wow, Rick, I can't believe we're sitting around, standing around in Mr. Goldenfold's house. It's really weird.
It's about to get a whole lot weirder, Morty.
Oh, I think you've had enough, sir.
All right, Morty, time to make our move.
You better stop with that.
Allahu akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane! We're gonna 9/11 it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!
The name's not buddy. It's Goldenfold. Nice to wheat you!
Take cover, Morty!
Ooohhh!
Goldenfold's got more control here than I anticipated. I mean, the guy teaches high-school math. I didn't take him for an active dreamer. We've got to take him out so he wakes up, Morty but we can't get killed. If you get killed in someone else's dream, you die for real, Morty.
What?! Are you kidding me?! Ohhhhhh!
Don't be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty. Just do the same thing here, and we'll be fine!
Hmm?
Goldenfold, we're coming out! We just want to talk!
Mrs. Pancakes! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Oh, no, Morty. His subconscious is panicking.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Relax, Morty. Look! Mrs. Pancakes has a parachute. Come on!
Oh, no, Rick, look! Goldenfold landed the plane, and he's created a mechanical arm to pluck Mrs. Pancakes out of the air while he lets us fall - into a giant vat of lava!
Pretty concise, Morty. Looks like we've merely prolonged the inevitable. That's it, Morty! Prolonging the inevitable! Listen, if we go into Mrs. Pancakes' dream, everything will go 100 times slower, Morty. That'll buy us some time to figure this out!
You don't know m-
All right, let's go.
Oh, man, Rick, this is pretty weird.
Don't judge, Morty.
Okay. All right, well Look, Mrs. Pancakes is right over there. I'll just go ask her to tell goldenfold not to kill us when she wakes up.
Whoa, whoa, Morty, the trick to incepting is making people think they came up with the idea. Listen to me. If we're gonna incept Mrs. Pancakes, we have to blend. I'll talk to you after lunch.
Ohh! Oh! Gross! Gross!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's the matter with you, Morty? Calm down! You're kind of killing the vibe in here.
Can you blame him? Come on, old man, little boy. Let's make an inter-generational sandwich.
Time to go another dream deep, Morty!
What the hell? Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream version of Mrs.
Geez, I don't know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?
Welcome to your nightmare, bitch! RAAAAAWWWRRR!
Oh, here we go!
Ooooooohhhhh! Holy crap!
Looks like some sort of legally safe knock-off of an '80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives.
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