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10uxee0 | I know this post sounds super petty, but this is the most ridiculous fight I've had with my boyfriend, and unfortunately it's where we're at.I \[F28\] have never shaved in my life. I think it's up to the person regardless, but I've also just never really had a lot of hair. My boyfriend recently stayed over and asked to borrow a razor. Since I don't shave, I didn't have one on hand, and apparently that grossed him out. He told me that it was unhygienic to not shave and we argued back and forth about the issue when I finally told him that I'd only start shaving my legs if he shaved his first. He called me immature and petty, whereas I think he's being super fixated on this weird thing. It honestly wouldn't really bother me to shave, but I'm just more irked at his statements where he basically called me dirty. I was serious though: I'll shave whenever he shaves too.We're at an impasse but I wonder if I *am* being a little too petty about the whole thing. | AITA for telling my boyfriend I'll shave my legs if he shaves his? | NTA |
10ur722 | My daughter Bryn F9 is going on a trip to a nearby water park with her class next week. She loves water and has been talking about it for months, so I was a bit thrown off when she came home crying a few days ago and told me she didn’t want to go. I asked her why and she wouldn't tell me because she thought I’d think she’s a “bad person.” When I finally coaxed it out of her, she said her teacher “Ms. N” has forced her to be the “buddy” of her classmate “Ben” for the entirety of the trip. She was to ride the bus with Ben to and from the trip, eat lunch with him, and go on all the rides with him instead of spending time with her friends. She then said nobody likes Ben because he whines whenever they have to do work and picks his nose and wipes boogers everywhere.I was horrified, not only because Ms. N had made Bryn do such a thing, but also because she had made her believe she was a bad person for not wanting to. Unfortunately this wasn’t my first experience with Ms. N, as she frequently used my soft-spoken, intelligent older daughter as a “behavior buffer” for the naughty boys until I threatened to report her to the superintendent. It’s clear to me that Ms. N is still too comfortable with enforcing archaic gender roles on her kids and forcing girls to do unpaid emotional labor for the sake of the boys. I immediately sent Ms. N an email condemning her actions. She sent me back an email with a bunch of bs that basically ended with “if Bryn goes on the trip, she has to be Ben’s buddy.” *Fine.* I informed her Bryn would not be attending then. I immediately booked VIP tickets the same day her class was going so she could still go to the park and see her friends.What happened next I wasn’t expecting. Bryn is quite popular, so I have gotten to know a lot of the moms in her class. When I let them know what Ms. N did, some of them were so horrified that they also pulled their kids out of the trip. In total, eight kids (out of a class of twenty) are either not going, or going with us. Today I got an email from Ms. N saying that because almost half of the class isn’t going, they either have to raise the cost for the other students or not go at all. She practically begged me to let Bryn go and tell all the other parents to let their kids go, promising she wouldn’t make Bryn do anything she didn’t want to do. I told her she should have thought about that before she tried to make my daughter do *her* job. My husband said I was being a bit petty and that Ms. N clearly feels bad about what she did, and I should let Bryn go as I’ve already gotten my way. He asked me if I really wanted to deprive children of what they’ve been waiting for all year. The thing is, if this wasn’t Ms. N’s first offense I probably would have agreed, but she has a pattern of this type of behavior and hopefully this will put a stop to it. Plus, if she has to explain this to her superiors, I have receipts. Is my husband right? Or am I justified?​UPDATE: Bryn WAS the only student assigned a "buddy." The rest of the students were free to do what they wanted. | AITA for pulling my daughter from a waterpark trip because her teacher made her stay with a kid she doesn't like? | NTA |
10upxdd | Alright so my son (17) has weekly therapy appointments that I take him to. Unfortunately, my husband let our daughter borrow his car and then had an emergency at work so he had to use my car so my son and I had to take the bus. It wasn’t ideal, but I’d rather the bus than miss an appointment. While it isn’t my place to share why he goes to therapy, I will say that he will often forget to eat. I usually make sure he’s fed, but due to the mess in the morning, it slipped my mind. The bus wasn’t too crowded but all the seats were taken. My son wasn’t doing too well and I could tell he was feeling dizzy from hunger+the bus. So the second someone got off their seat, I sat him down. I then tried to find a chocolate bar I had in my bag. While this is happening, I noticed an elderly woman and her adult daughter standing beside us. I didn’t pay much attention until the daughter tapped me on the shoulder. She asked if my son could move so that her elderly mother could have a seat. I felt really bad, I really did, but my son was not doing great and standing would make it harder. I had found the chocolate and he was eating it slowly but if he stood up right then, I can assure you he would’ve fainted. I apologized to her and explained that my son wasn’t feeling well. She rolled her eyes at me and said that she saw him standing earlier and that he’s a young healthy teenage boy-he’ll be fine. I apologized once again and told her that he wasn’t feeling well and that if he was then HE himself would’ve offered her a seat. The daughter told me to look at her mother and I admit, the poor woman looked really tired. But I couldn’t. My son had started to lean against me so I told the woman one last time that I was sorry and to ask someone else.I then heard them both whispering and calling me an entitled bitch. And when we got off the bus, a woman that got off with us said that a teenage boy can handle standing more than an elderly woman can and that she hopes someone treats me like that when I’m her age. My son was so out of it, I don’t think he even noticed or cared but I can’t get this off my mind. AITA? A totally unrelated woman thought I was along with the two.I wasn’t sitting down and did not have a seat. | AITA for not letting an elderly woman have my son’s seat on the bus? | NTA |
10v2vra | We live three blocks away from my parents and they see our kids almost every day. Hey husband's parents live a couple of states away and only see the kids a few times a year. It's easy when we go see them since we only visit when the kids are off school. But when they come see us it is at random intervals through the year. Not a problem really they are excellent grandparents. With one small exception. They think our rules go out the window when they visit. It's mean that we don't make the kids their favorite food every day. Why can't the kids watch tv with them before they do their chores and homework. Why do the kids have to be in bed so early. It drives me crazy that I'm the bad guy because my husband won't put his foot down so I have to do it. They came last week. On Monday ss soon as dinner was over they wanted the kids to pay attention to them. They wanted to take the kids to see Avatar. On a school night. My husband allowed it. Last straw. I told him that he knew that throwing the kids off there schedule screwed me over. So I gave him the choice of either enforcing our rules or I would. He said he would take care of it. Second night there was a hockey game on. He wanted to watch it with our son who loves hockey. I reminded my husband that our son had chores to do and homework. He said it was just a hockey game. I told the kids to get their stuff. I took them and a change of clothes and their homework to my parents house. My mom and dad will watch them and then take them to school in the morning. I went back home and they were waiting for me. I'm being a controlling and abusive person by denying them time with the kids. I'm not the only person allowed to make decisions regarding the kids. They came all this way to see them and I'm being a jerk by keeping them on a schedule. Fine. They are visiting for a couple of weeks. Wednesday after I picked up the kids from school and dropped them off at home with my in-laws. Then I went out for the first time in ages. I told my husband I would be out late and didn't want to wake anyone so I would be at my parents house. Did the same thing Thursday through tonight. My husband has been calling and texting and coming over to tell me I need to come home because the house is a disaster because his parents won't do anything. They are in vacation and they are there to see the kids not clean up. The kids are having a fun time with no rules and he has been contacted by the school because no homework was turned in on Thursday or Friday. I didn't answer those texts. I said I would be back after his parents left or he enforced the rules. He said I was taking it too far and that it was affecting his work. Honestly tough shit. | AITA for taking my kids to my parents house to sleep because my husband will not enforce the rules when his parents visit? | NTA |
10ung90 | My daughter (16) and I have gotten into a massive fight. My daughter has always been a picky eater and we have always done our best to accommodate her (Feeding her before parties weddings etc ). The problem lies with my husband's upcoming birthday ( turning 50).The restaurant he has picked is very special to us. That is where we first met as children for a business deal our parents had and then we became best friends when he asked me out in that very restaurant and our first date was there. When he proposed to me and who catered our wedding, I told him I was pregnant and we held my daughter's 1st birthday there. Unfortunately, we couldn’t go there a lot as we had to move for his job but basically, all the major events of our lives were held there. So for my husband's birthday to celebrate him turning half a century old, we want to go there.We once took our daughter there when she was 10 and she hated it. But now since she is 16 I thought she would have matured enough and it is not like I'm forcing her to eat. She has the option of eating at home and I've told her so many times that the restaurant does have food she likes to eat, but she claims that it smells bad. It is a seafood restaurant but we always sit outside at our usual table so I don’t understand that.She says that we are being selfish but I told her it's not about her it's not her day. In anger, she has refused to talk to us and not doing her usual chores and is refusing to eat. My husband is heartbroken and thinks it is all his fault and wants to cancel but I think it will just fuel her brattiness. Today my husband had to work late so it was only my daughter and me. When I called for my daughter to come to eat she looked at the food and then took the plate and dumped it in the bin.I was shocked, food is valuable and she didn’t have to do that. I snapped at her calling her a selfish insecure little brat. That she is not only hurting her father but ruining his birthday and it's not as if we are asking her to give up a kidney. That if she continues this behavior we will never fund her birthday parties ever again. She said that I am a terrible mother for saying that.I feel like I went overboard but that she is acting like a brat. AITA?Edit: I am sorry for the late reply I posted this and went to sleep, No my daughter does not have anything like autism or any food allergies, we tested her when she was 10.We can’t leave her at home because this restaurant is across the country from where we a going to meet our family and according to our country's laws she is still not allowed to be alone for more than a day without parental supervision.We have never had a fight like this and she usually is a chill kid i have no idea what has gotten into her.Edit: The reason we are not too strict with our daughter's eating habits is that we grew up in houses that were verbally and physically abusive, and it affected my husband the most. We never had the chance to go to therapy because at first, it was not a thing then it was too expensive and well we figured we didn’t have to.We did not want our daughter to be like us and we thought if she didn’t cause tantrums who is it really affecting? But my daughter has always gotten good grades and has had a lot of friends so this behave is really unique | AITA for calling my daughter a selfish insecure little brat | NTA |
10uj4d9 | Will try and keep it short.I suffer from migraines, and type 1 diabetes - we were advised not to try and get pregnant due to my lack of control of my blood sugars, it happened and it sucks (although I’ve been monitoring it so much better and been doing much better)1) I ask my husband constantly to turn the sleeves of his tops the right way in, he wears 2-3 tops a day (if he goes gym it’s 3, 2 if he’s going out which he 9/10 does) and he doesn’t, so I’m ironing 10 tops each week at minimum and it just gets so annoying to constantly be turning in the sleeves2) I ask him once a week to unload the dishwasher and get rid of the rubbish, I do it the rest of the time…rubbish wasn’t emptied and when I opened a cupboard a few plates fell out and one fell on me which hurts more than it sounds like!3) I had a migraine, I asked him to keep the lights off and keep it quiet and he insisted on a) playing loud music and b) turning the lights on.I just lost it, I’m so uncomfortable and it’s like I feel like I ask the minimum? So I told him I wouldn’t be having two children and asked him to leave, he wouldn’t so I texted my brothers and they came and made him leave. He’s texting me, I since calmed down, and saying I’m the AH because I overreacted, went nuclear and can’t do that when I have the baby - he’s insisting I apologise.AITA?Edit; noticed the error in title…should say making him stay at a hotel | AITA for “going nuclear” and staying at a hotel? | NTA |
10ura66 | I have four kids from prior relationships, and my wife has one. She has full custody of her son, but I have two of my kids here full time and weekends for the other two. My wife gave birth on Wednesday and came home from the hospital on Thursday. The kids and I have been doing our best to keep the house as quiet and relaxing for her as possible.On Friday she asked me not to pick my youngest kids up, because she feels the house is already unbearable with three kids, and five is too much. I told her she knows that isn't possible. That's not how custody agreements work. Besides, how would that make my kids feel? She said she just gave birth, so her feelings are important. I said I'm not flaking on my kids, so we need to figure something else out.Friday when it was time for me to pick up all the kids my wife was napping. I didn't want to potentially wake her, so I told my oldest (he's 19) to hold the baby until I got back. When I got back with all the kids, my oldest and wife were screaming at each other. The best I can tell is that she woke up and went looking for me, my son told her where I went, she called me a thoughtless prick, my son called her a hateful witch, and then they started screaming at each other.I got the kids to all go outside for a bit while I talked to my wife. She said I was an unbelievably selfish asshole that couldn't even give her a break for one weekend. She said none of this would have happened if I hadn't insisted on picking up my younger kids. She said she wanted my oldest to leave, but I said that wasn't an option.She locked herself in our room. I get that childbirth is harder than I'll ever know and she's exhausted, but I don't feel like what she asked for is something I can give. Was I an asshole for insisting on getting my kids? | AITA for picking up my kids for scheduled custody time? | NTA |
10ux79o | So a little backstory, I(24F) and my husband(26M) due to financial struggles, have to live with my parents. We are staying here until I can get a remote job and he can get a better one where we can actually afford to save money to buy a house. We live in a 2 story house with unfortunately only one kitchen which is downstairs. My husband and I along with our children live upstairs and my parents live downstairs. We spend most of the day downstairs because my children enjoy spending time with my mother and she helps me out a lot with them. Anyway, we call the upstairs ‘our house’ and the downstairs ‘their house’. We offered to pay rent/utilities in the past but my father refused to accept any money from us, we insisted a few times but decided to let it go when he wouldn’t budge. My father is a truck driver so he is home every 2 weeks or so. My grandmother from my mother’s side is currently visiting from Europe so there’s a lot of people in the house.We have 2 boys, a 2 and a half year old and a 9 month old. My 9 month old recently started crawling so I decided to get him a playpen for when we are downstairs.When I wanted to assemble it downstairs but my father told me to go assemble it upstairs cause ‘there’s enough shit here that everyone trips over anyways’.Okay no problem, I went upstairs and assembled it to which my mother got mad because I didn’t assemble it downstairs as she and I discussed it before.My father threw a tantrum because I have so many baby things downstairs, and yes, there was a crib, a bouncer and now there would also be a playpen for the LO.My mother got upset and brought the playpen downstairs to which my father said ‘oh yeah bring more shit here, there’s not enough, with the crib and the bouncer and the toys, yeah why don’t you bring that shit here too?’This hurt me, because in not so many direct words,he basically told me that my sons stuff bothers him, it made me feel like my son’s presence bothers him as well..So I got upset and removed EVERYTHING that was my son’s and brought them upstairs. I was so pissed off about it,because no one ever thinks about my feelings, especially my father, he always says the most hurtful things and doesn’t even care or realize how much his words hurt me..Anyway, a little after I brought everything upstairs, my grandmother came to me and told ME that I don’t know how to act, I am disrespectful towards my father by doing that blah blah. Like, EXCUSE ME? NOW IT’S SOMEHOW MADE TO BE MY FAULT? I have changed my view of my grandmother after I had kids,my word means nothing when it comes to my children and what I say..the way my father talks to me like I’m a doormat but if I stand up for myself SHE will be the first one to tell me to shut up because I’m “a child” and that I shouldn’t talk back..I am just so done with these people, I’m actually considering moving to my inlaws who live in Germany just to get away.So, reddit, AITA? | AITA for removing every single toy/baby item from my parents house? | YTA |
10uhg3s | I (16 genderfluid) was recently at a close relative's wedding with my family (just guests, not as part of the bridal party or anything). The dress code the bride told us (and that was on the invite) was that women wore dresses and men had to wear something similarly formal e.g. a suit.I am AFAB so was told I would have to wear a dress. I don't identify as a woman however, so I wasn't comfortable with this and asked for a potential compromise on my outfit. She insisted that I wore a dress.Cut to when my family were ordering their wedding clothes/figuring out their outfits. My parents asked if I had found anything suitable and I sent them a link to a romper that looks very much like a dress at first glance, it's genuinely not noticeable unless you look closely that the bottom part is not a skirt.We got the romper, it arrives and everything is fine. I wore it to the wedding and for the first part everything seems ok, until I am pulled along too hard by a kid and end up tripping and falling face first, sprawled out on the floor. As everyone nearby gathers around to see what happened, the bride notices that the bottom part of my outfit is shorts and not a skirt, and loses her shit and starts screaming at me that she made it clear I needed to wear a dress and that I was being selfish by going against her wishes on her special day. I'm pretty sensitive and also hate loud noise as I'm autistic, so I start crying because the mix of pain from scraping my leg and her loud voice yelling is enough to overstimulate me pretty badly. My cousin leads me away to treat my wound, the bride stalks off still fuming and won't speak to us for the rest of the night until we eventually leave at the end of the wedding.I was reassured by some members of my family that I didn't do anything wrong, but I'm still super hung up over it and wondering if it was bad of me to wear that.I'm happy to provide a link to my outfit if anyone wants to see it to gauge for themselves.edit: [this](https://imgur.com/a/tMYgVFL) was what I woreedit 2: not attending wasn't really an option, she was marrying a close family member and we were pretty much expected to be there. my parents said that i needed to come as welledit 3: this is the most feminine item I own by far, and the discomfort is mainly subconscious with dysphoria and all, and the being forced into a gender binary when that's not who I am. plus, i enjoy the security of not worrying if my skirt will fly up in the wind. i would've much preferred a pantsuit or something but knew that wouldn't go so this was the closest thing to fitting dress-code i could findedit 4: i am perfectly fine with providing photos of the professional photo prints they had done of the event when they are ready (as evidence), it just might take a while | AITA for wearing a romper and not a dress at a wedding? | NTA |
10v0goc | My wife and I ran into our coworker earlier today. He has never met her. I introduced her to him. He jokes around often and when i introduced them to each other he said “ I thought Alexis was your wife.” She’s a coworker. Him and I laughed, but not my wife. He noticed because he got serious and said “I’m kidding, nice to meet you.” After we got home my wife asked me who Alexis was. I told her she’s a coworker. She then asked me “so, what’s that all about?” I told her if she’s serious and it was clearly a joke, to lighten up a little. That didn’t help, she said to never laugh at things like that. I thought it was a harmless joke. Needless to say, she wasn’t happy still when I left. Aita? | AITA for telling my wife to lighten up over a cheating joke my coworker made? | YTA |
10utyes | Growing up I always wanted a dog but our apartment complex didn't allow them, then thanks to finances and situations it didn't quite pan out in adulthood either. Now that we have a bigger house and kids are older (14 and 8) wife and I have decided now is the time. We got the kids a dog for Christmas.The only problem is my younger daughter doesn't like the dog at all. We thought she needed time to adjust but even now she recoils if the dog comes near her, she doesn't pet him or even talk to him, she doesn't want to take part in caring for him as part of her chores. My older daughter is good with walking him because she runs after school anyway but even she can't get her sister interested in helping be a dog parent.My younger daughter outright says she wishes the dog would go away. Wife and I had a discussion and decided this won't be an option. Her main complaint is that the dog is too loud and has chewed up her toys. I understand where she is coming from but the dog is just a puppy so obviously it will not be doing that forever. We don't want her to be unhappy, but the rest of the family likes the dog and we're sure she will get used to it. AITA? | AITA for keeping a dog my daughter doesn't like? | YTA |
10ulsrp | Link to original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104v9q5/aita\_for\_telling\_my\_cousin\_i\_didnt\_care\_about\_his/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104v9q5/aita_for_telling_my_cousin_i_didnt_care_about_his/)So, a month has passed and things solved itself so I thought an update was needed.Carl came to my house one week ago. He apologized and brought gifts:\- A new physical copy of my book. Now this needs an explanation: except for me, the only person who has a digital copy of my book is my older sister, Federica. Federica is a No-bullshit kind of person. If the chance of me forgiving Carl were 1 out of 10, the chance of my sister doing the same things were 1 out of 1000. When he told me he convinced my sister to give him a copy to reprint it I was astonished.\- A full collection of figurines of the main cast of my story. There are 5 main characters in the story and only two of them were on the cover I printed, which mean that he read the book and drew/had someone else draw a sketch of the other 3 characters in order to make their figurine. They are 25cm tall and I admit they look really good.\- He paid me back for the physical copy he destroyed. I asked him why he was giving me the money since he had just given me a new copy and his parents had already paid me. He said that the new copy was in place of the one he destroyed, while the money were an apology.He apologized for what he did that day and explained me his reasons ( a mix of jealousy and bad timing) . Things are still not completely fine but they are better. He thanked me for bearing his hobby all these years. I apologized for losing my temper and insulting his hobby. While I don't share his passion over figurines, I can understand how much and love he put in every one of them.He looked sincere in his apology and we parted amicably.I decided to give back to his parents the money they originally gave me as an apology. I spent a couple of hours choosing what to do with the 5 figurines he gave me. For now I put the 2 "original" on my desk and the other 3 on the top shelf of my library. I have to admit, having figurines made about my own book is really cool and I spent quite a lot of time looking at them in the past week.I want to thank all of you for your support on the original post. Bye. | UPDATE: AITA for telling my cousin I didn't care about his stupid figurine after he destroyed my book? | NTA |
10up4gf | My husband (M36) and I (F36) have 2 kids, a daughter (F14) and a son (M13). Our daughter turns 15 later this month, and we had a birthday party planned for her but in light of recent events, we decided to cancel. Our daughter is friends with some popular mean girls. We are working on things like therapy and consequences. Unfortunately, her latest behavior was the worst yet. Our son is very sweet and hasn’t run into any issues with him being mean yet. Our son met a girl on a cruise we went on in April of last year, the girl lives about 40 minutes away, so they don’t go to the same school. My son and the girl hung out together the whole cruise and started dating soon after.His girlfriend is an absolute sweetheart, very bright and loves sports like my son. The girl is also Indian-American, she was born here and so were her parents but both sides of her family have relatives in India. The girl and her family went to India last month and my son was invited many months ago, we signed all the paperwork needed and he was able to go with them. They came back a few days ago, my son really enjoyed it and brought back souvenirs (some sports stuff) for himself and family members. One of those family members was our 5 year old niece, who is my sister and her husband’s daughter. He had brought handmade dolls for my niece, my sister lives about 5 minutes away, my son sometimes babysits for my sister. They also have a son, which he also got gifts for. The issue is, the day he came back, my sister and husband came over with their son and daughter to get the gifts. My daughter had her friends over, while he was presenting the gifts, our daughter and her friends were in the living room with us, we could hear laughing when he presented the dolls and a few of the girls had their phones out. At the time, my husband and I thought nothing of it, we thought they were on TikTok. My sister, her husband and my husband and I eventually left the house to get food we ordered. We came back, they ate and left.The next day, I got a phone call from my sister saying that her daughter was asking her if the dolls were ugly, and she said my daughter said something about it. We immediately went to her room, asked her what happened, she giggled and refused to answer, when we asked for her phone, she refused, so we shut the Wi-Fi off until she gave in. She and her friends had posted an Instagram story making fun of the dolls. My husband and I decided that with her increasing mean streak, this was the final straw and told her that her friends were toxic and that she wouldn’t have a 15th birthday party bc of her actions. When I called my parents to tell them the party was canceled, they got mad at me and told me I over reacted, my sister and other siblings are saying I’m doing the right thing and our son told us he’s giving his sister the silent treatment and is very mad at her. AITA? | AITA for cancelling my daughter's birthday party? | NTA |
10uj07i | I (19M) visited the zoo today with my family and we were checking out the koalas, who I was especially excited to see. You may not know this, but koalas apparently need over eighteen hours of sleep a day to function or else they can get quite unhealthy quite quickly, and so any exhibit of them at a zoo will often come with an expectation that you maintain a certain level of silence while observing them. This zoo today was no exception - you are made to go through two gates, both of which have signage saying ‘Please be quiet, keep the noise down, silence please, etc’ and then the door to the koala house itself has another sign: ‘Please keep noise levels to a minimum’. With all those reminders, I figured people would get the memo, but as soon as we entered the enclosure (which was a small room indoors with a glass window looking into the koala pen) I spotted a couple in their early thirties with two young kids and a baby. I somewhat apprehensively tried to observe the koalas (they were so cute and my little sister was happy to see them) but then, like clockwork, the baby starts crying. Hardly the baby’s fault - it’s a baby, they cry - so I gave the dad of the family the benefit of the doubt thinking he’d either take the baby out or calm her down. A few moments pass; the baby gets more annoyed and cries louder. The koalas scurry away, hiding in their cubby holes, and others wake up from their sleeping.I give the dad the look. I feel like everyone knows the look - we’ve either had someone give it to us or given it to someone else. I’m not sure I’d ever been on this end of it, but I’d definitely received some looks at times.Baby continues to cry. I (being a socially awkward autistic teenager) grapple with the idea that the dad might have missed my giving him the look so I do the classic: I shake my head and give a little sigh. No change. I throw another look his way - this time a little more firm - but I feel like I overdo it - my eyes are a little too intense, perhaps - because suddenly the dad is saying, in the voice of someone who’s just gotten a lecture ‘Well alright mate, it’s just a baby’ to which I reply with a gesture towards the sign ‘Silence, please’. ‘But it’s a baby!’ he says. ‘Well don’t bring a baby in here’ I reply, in a whisper. My parents jump on me, thinking I’m out of line and the couple and their kids give me the filthiest of looks and leave the enclosure, leaving me feeling very tense.What do we think? I feel like this is a very common struggle in a public place where there aren’t always members of staff to enforce the rules. We want to pick our battles, of course, but this family bringing their baby in spoiled my little sister’s magical moment seeing a koala for the first time. Surely they should’ve seen the signs and thought ‘Probably best to not bring little Charlie in’ or, if they really wanted to see the koalas, the dad could’ve stayed outside with the baby and the mum and the kids could’ve gone in. AITA? | AITA for telling a guy to move his crying baby out of a quiet enclosure at the zoo? | YTA |
10ukzpr | recently, my friends and i went to a restaurant for dinner, where i noticed there was a cute waiter that was serving us. i told my friends, not thinking much of it.throughout the whole dinner, they proceeded to embarrass me about it, sometimes around the waiter, even asking to take a selfie with him. at the end of the dinner, while waiting for a friend to use the restroom, i noticed a friend of mine talking to the waiter 1v1, and i panicked, worried they'd embarrass me again but worse. i left (the bill was already paid for atp) and waited outside for them.they all come out smiling and laughing, saying they told the waiter i thought he was cute, and they got his number. i felt beyond embarrassed now.they put his number in my phone, and i said fuck it and sent a text. i wasn't expecting much to come out of this, so i was shocked to see him reply. we continued to talk throughout the night, even after my friends and i parted ways.the next morning, i was happy, the waiter and i were having a good conversation the same morning.later at lunch, my friend confessed that it wasnt the waiter that i was texting, it was my friend. my friend group was in on it, and even made a groupchat to laugh at me behind my back, leaking the messages and such.i was so mortified, they told me in front of most of our friend group (as i went to dinner with only 4 of them)i angrily left, sending a message to our discord server saying "fuck you guys" and went off on them.they thought i was upset at being catfished, and while i am somewhat upset, i was mainly upset for being turned into a joke and laughed at behind my back by people who i called friends. 2 of them were my best friends.some of them had said im overreacting, and some say im making it a bigger problem than it needs to be. my family says i should drop them, but idk what to do. some people say im right for being upset, and im not overreacting.aita? | AITA for wanting to drop my friends after they turned me into a joke? | NTA |
10un17c | Backstory, when my daughter ‘Georgia’ was 13, her mother and I divorced. I didn’t want to uproot Georgia, therefore they kept the house and I moved into a nearby apartment. My ex was a SAHM, I continued paying all the bills for two years. Currently, I’m still paying only the mortgage. Georgia is now 17 and resides with her mother. 16 months ago I met my now girlfriend. During that time, I purchased a house to get out of my apartment. My girlfriend moved in a few months back. Prior to that, I introduced her to Georgia. As I expected, she had a very ‘whatever’ attitude. I understand changes such as these are hard for kids to cope with. Since the divorce, Georgia could come and go as she pleased. Since my girlfriend moved in though, Georgia became obnoxious with constantly trying to run her off and humiliate her. The first incident, Georgia came over one afternoon while I was at work to say when she got home from school the previous day, I was coming out of her mother’s bedroom. She knew this was not true as I had been with her that entire day. I sat Georgia down for a serious reality check. Georgia was apparently snooping through our mail, she saw my girlfriend’s DOB. For the record, we’re 13 years apart both divorced with kids. Georgia asked my girlfriend, “So what do you see in my dad, a caregiver?“ One early Saturday morning she came over while we were still sleeping. She had brought empty Depends underwear boxes and stacked them in the living room. When we woke up, Georgia said, “Wow, so you wear Depends just like my grandpa does huh?” Thereafter, Georgia would refer to her only as ‘grams’ or ‘the old hag.’ The next incident, she used our bathroom, said she ‘stunk it up’ and used some ‘old lady smelling cologne’ to mask the odor. It was actually very expensive perfume, Georgia sprayed about 70% of the bottle around the house.The final straw happened last weekend. Georgia came over for breakfast. At some point, she took my phone and sent her mother a message that read, “I can’t stop thinking about you, I want to work things out and get back together.” She deleted the text from my phone. Unbeknownst to me, she had mother’s phone on her. Took a screenshot then deleted the text on her mother’s phone. Tuesday, she sent the screenshot to my girlfriend on her mother’s phone and said, “I’m sorry, I think you need to know.” She then deleted that text as well. This nearly caused her to leave, exactly what Georgia wanted. I immediately changed the locks. Before I could speak with Georgia, she showed up and couldn’t get in. She called, we both were pissed off for different reasons. I told her she’s not welcomed at our house until she has a serious attitude change. Her mother called, said I traumatized Georgia, claimed the text incident was a load of shit that never happened (Georgia admitted it). My ex said to be prepared to pay for her therapy, because she’ll need it after I put some tramp above my own child. | AITA for changing the locks on my daughter? | NTA |
10ubcp5 | I (f33) have one sibling, an older brother, Dan (m36). Dan and I never had the closest relationship even when we were kids. I can't exactly pinpoint why but it was just the way it was.Our mum was a single mother, and our dad was in prison serving a long sentence, and only got out when I was 17 and Dan was 20.When we were kids, our mum was working two jobs as a housekeeper and as a school lunch lady to make ends neat. We were really broke.As soon as I turned 16, I got a job working in retail to contribute to the household and hopefully save up for university. I was starting to save up quite a sizable amount of money after a year.In that same year, Dan got one of his coworkers pregnant. Shortly after she gave birth, she was hospitalised multiple times with post-partum psychosis and eventually lost all custody of the baby. Dan took custody and so it was me, our mum, Dan and the baby in a two bedroom flat. It was feeling a bit crowded and cluttered and Dan vented to me many times about how he needs to get his own place.Dan was really struggling for money, he was working a minimum wage job and had all the baby expenses to worry about.When I was 17, Dan stole my debit card and bank details, and withdrew all of my savings, which was around £2K. He put my debit card back in my wallet and then left the house with the baby and moved in with his new girlfriend.I felt so betrayed that he would just take something that I worked so hard for.My mum told me I was forbidden from going to the police about it, and told me to just let it go, as Dan is struggling and needed it. When I was old enough to go to university, my dad gave me money to go towards my expenses.I hadn't spoken to Dan since that day and Dan never attempted to speak to me either.Last week my mum tried to sneakily get me and Dan to meet up under the guise that we were just getting a normal dinner at a restaurant and he was in on it. I told them that I don't want to see Dan.Dan told me I need to grow up and I can't hold a grudge over this forever. It was such a long time ago and he was young and desperate, and he's still my brother. He said it's only money and I shouldn't be so materialistic.I told him it's the principle of it, that I'm his little sister and he stole something significant from me. He said I'm dramaticising the situation, and that he was in a rough patch and surely I could understand why he did it.No one in the family is on my side here except my dad and I'm wondering if I really am being so wrong and so cold-hearted. | AITA for holding a grudge against my brother for stealing money from me 16 years ago? | NTA |
10uczru | Throwaway, I'll keep it as short as I can. I don't think I'm wrong in backing out but I've got people telling me otherwise. If anyone's curious I'm 22 and my step sister is 24So we're going to Canada on vacation with my mom's side of the family - mom, step dad, 2 step sisters (this post is about "Annie", fake name), BIL and step brother.Parents want it to be a close family vacation, which I can get so no friends, boyfriend, girlfriend so on are invited. I've would've liked my bf to come, but I didn't mind until I heard my parents were changing the rules.Annie has a medical condition. She's a lot closer to her mom than my step dad (her bio dad) and step dad says he doesn't think he can spend the time with Annie if she needs assistance. They're allowing Annie to bring her bf because she apparently feels the most comfortable around him, and he can support her if needed.I think it's hypocritical of them to allow Annie to bring her bf, but not mine. She would have her dad there, also us which is supposed to be the point of the family vacation. I told them I also feel comfortable around my bf, so if that's the reason he should be allowed to come too. Step dad said no, and mom said she gets my point but Annie isn't the same as us.I told them if they're going to change the rules like this, I don't want to go.Now mom is pissed at me and said I'm being selfish about our vacation.AITA?Edited to add, Annie is blind | AITA for backing out of family vacation because parents are allowing step sis to bring her boyfriend but not mine? | YTA |
10uqw4f | My BF and his brother are very competitive. Recently they were doing their stupid braggart crap. “I can shoot more free throws than you, well I have a higher SAT score than you, blah blah blah.” Bf’s brother said “my GF has bigger boobs than yours.”(she and I were both there.) He meant it as a self-deprecating joke and we all laughed. But soon BF and brother began “debating” the issue for real. BF’s brother asked his GF what her bra size was, she told him and it was smaller than mine. My BF asked what my size was and I told him it was private and I wasn’t comfortable sharing. BF’s brother declared that meant he “won” by “default” and started rubbing it in BF’s face. Later BF gave me a lecture about how couples are supposed to “support” one another and how I wasn’t “supporting” him. | AITA for not telling my BF my bra size? | NTA |
10uolan | My fiancé recently started collecting horror movie posters; in particular, Exploitation and Giallo; that's his thing. I have a 10 year old daughter from my first marriage and asked him to please put them up in his "chill out" room (where he games, does Fantasy Football, watches movies I don't wanna see, & smokes) because I didn't really want her seeing them all the time & she never goes in there. He put them all up in the living room anyway as a "surprise" so I could "see how good they looked." I know he loves these things, but her paternal grandparents were coming to visit and I didn't want them staring at "I Spit on Your Grave" or "Three on a Meathook" when they came in and sat on the couch to watch her choir recital with us on the big TV. I asked him to please take them down before they got here, but they were still up on "D-Day." So I very carefully took them all down while he was at work and put them back up in his chill out space, same way he had them on display in the LR: thumbtacks; I tried to put them back in the holes that were already there. He was sooooooo upset when he got home and saw. Said it was "disrespectful" and that some of them were valuable and he wanted to frame.He's kept them in there, but I can tell he's upset I don't want to "show them off" in more prominent parts of the house. He says since movies are just pretend it shouldn't bother my daughter and that some of these films are "classics." He also reminded me she isn't here all the time because I share custody with my ex. I guess since he spent money on them and time hunting them down he wants them more on display.AITA for moving the posters? | AITA for moving all of my fiancé's horror movie posters to a different room? | NTA |
10unudp | I 23F recently got engaged to “Jim” 25M. We don’t like super extravagant weddings, so we plan to keep things simple and frugal. We received money from our families, but we’re using it for a nice honeymoon and using our own bank accounts for the wedding day.Although the title may make it seem otherwise, my step-mother “Kim” and I have a good relationship. She gave me a hefty amount of money and asked that I use it for a dress. She said she was very poor at the time of her first wedding and didn’t get to wear a beautiful dress on her big day, and it would mean the world for me to get to wear one. I obliged. I wasn’t planning on spending my own money on an expensive dress, but the amount of money she gave me the opportunity to wear my dream dress. She even took me dress shopping along with my grandmother and helped me pick the most perfect dress. It was a classic fit and flare, and with all the money I was able to get some custom embroidery done. Not only was it a beautiful dress, but it flattered my body perfectly.A few days after I picked out the dress, however, Kim approached me and asked me if I would like to wear her mother’s old wedding dress from the 1970s, and said she’d give me twice the money she had initially offered to do whatever I pleased with if I agreed. I turned her down. I know it’s a lot of money, but the wedding will be a day I remember for the rest of my life and I really wanted to wear a dress that suits me. The dress in question was puffy with no shape–it would be like getting married in a down jacket.When I said no, Kim explained that she sent me a photo of me in the dress to my step-sister “Bea” 25F and Bea had a freakout and said she wouldn’t come to my wedding if I wore that dress. Some background on Bea: our relationship was strained from the beginning. I had better grades than her, dated better looking guys, went to a more prestigious college, got a higher paying job, and I’m now getting married to the guy we both liked in high school while she is still single. Plus, Bea is overweight and very insecure about how she looks, and has always taken out her insecurities on me. Kim said watching me get married to Jim would be hard enough, and I didn't need to wear a dress like that and make it worse. I still refused to wear the old dress. I told her I’m not going to compromise my wedding to coddle Bea’s insecurities. She then asked for her money back and I said no, she gave me the money and the dress is already paid for.I left it at that but then I got a call from my dad telling me I was rude to Kim and Bea and that I should be able to compromise a small thing about an otherwise perfect wedding for Bea’s sake, or at least pay Kim back the money for the dress. I *did* give her back the leftover money, which was a couple hundred dollars, but I refuse to give back the money I spent on my dress, or wear a different dress. Am I an AH for that? | AITA for refusing to wear a hand-me-down wedding dress? | NTA |
10u8muo | I (25F) am getting married in September. My husband, Mike and I are doing a big wedding for 250 guests. I've always dreamed of having a storybook wedding. I asked my best friend Marissa (25F) to be my MOH and she happily agreed. She's been a huge help to me in every step of planning the wedding. Marissa is in a poly relationship and she has 3 partners. Greg (24M), Brandon (27M) and Ace (22NB). She's been with Greg for 5 years and was the first partner she had. They added Brandon and Ace over the course of their relationship with Ace being the newest member. They all date each other and seem to be happy. I don't really "get" it if I'm being honest but it's not my business. However the issue came into play when Mike (32M) pulled me aside and said while he loves Marissa he didn't feel like spending the wedding explaining her love life to his family. Which I understand, they are very conservative and hardly accept LGBT people as is let alone a LGBT polyset. I had already reserved 4 spots of Marissa & co but my husband suggested he invite a few coworkers to take the partners spot and Marissa could come alone. I didn't want to ruin his big day so I agreed reluctantly. I know I should have told Marissa from the get go but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So when invite went out she called me up immediately and asked why she didn't have a plus 3 invite. I explained to her exactly what I said above and she just said "oh" and hung up. Next thing I know Brandon is calling me and begging me to reconsider saying they promise they won't act like they are in a relationship but they want to be there for me. Except I can hear Greg in the background telling him tell me to fuck off and that I'm am asshole and he doesn't even want to go. I explain to Brandon that I already gave their "spots" to Mike's coworkers. Brandon says okay thank you and hangs up. Marissa texts me the next day saying she isn't coming unless they can go. Mike said he can't uninvite his co-workers now so it's not his problem. I told him I would add them and pay the costs and he just said if I want to spend the whole time explaining their relationship to people than so be it but he isn't wasting his time doing it and will just send people my way. Our other friends think I'm an asshole but Mike's friend and a few of my non mutual friends don't think i am. Just want some more unbiased opinions.Edit: I am the asshole, that's for sure. I followed a lot of advice in this post and asked Mike what he thinks in the morning. He said to talk to Marissa first and see what she wants and we'll make it work. I also had him read over the post himself and he said that a lot of the comments opened his eyes on how he himself was coming off. So we both decided to call Marissa together and beg for forgiveness. We called her and she was happy to talk. We explained our side of things but acknowledged that it was a massive fuck up and could have been handled so much better. We invited her and her partners, obviously and said we would be happy to whatever it takes to have them forgive us. She asked her partners about it and Brandon and Greg both agreed they would prefer to just "split" the set up. So Greg and Marissa would be a couple for the wedding and Brandon and Ace would be a couple. They however would need to talk to Ace first (they were at work) and that they would get back to me. So that's where we currently stand.Edit2: I never told Marissa I was inviting her partners, I just had a list of invites with Mike. I'm still the asshole but wanted to explain that.Last edit: Ace got out of work a few hours ago and we all got on speaker phone and had a long conversation with this post pulled up. The crew was all happy to be defended but did think people went a little harder than they would have even Greg. He actually laughed at me calling him self absorbed because he is lol. Anyway. We're all good :) they are coming. They gave permission to tell Mike's parents. We called them after and they understood but said don't let Nanni know or she'll be asking questions all night. It's been a huge relief and I think we learned how to communicate better as a couple. | WIBTA for not inviting my poly friend's partners to my wedding? | YTA |
10ul5b9 | My husband has a 9 year old daughter, Maya, from a previous relationship. We have her on weekdays and she's with her mom on weekends.Maya has a weak immune system. She doesn't get sick too often, usually a few times a year, but when she does it kicks her butt. Last weekend she started running a fever. Her mom called us, told us that Maya was sick, and offered to keep her until she recovers because she was recently laid off and doesn't start her new job for a few more weeks. Here's the thing with Maya's mom. She recently became interested in homeopathic remedies and eastern medicine. We've gotten into arguments before about vaccinations and medicine for a chronic illness but as far as my husband and I knew, she didn't have a problem with short term otc meds like Tylenol or cold medicine so we agreed to let Maya stay with her mom. Maya texted me a couple days ago saying she wanted to come home. I asked if everything was okay and she said yes but she didn't want to be at her mom's house anymore and wanted me to pick her up. My husband was working late so I went to pick her up. Her mom didn't want to let me in at first but I eventually got to Maya. She looked horrible. Apparently her mom didn't know any "natural cures" for whatever Maya had but thought letting it run its course without any medicine would be healthier than giving her medicine. I called my husband and he met us at the house and took her to urgent care. I'm taking some time off of work to take care of her while she recovers. The problem is her mom is furious with us for picking her up "early", keeping Maya home on her weekend, and for disregarding her input on Maya's health. AITA for picking her up early and keeping her here during her mom's weekend. | AITA for picking my step daughter up "early" from her mom's house? | NTA |
10un335 | My wife and I have three children. My parents brought up five kids and my dad would call us our names, our nicknames, random names he thought we had, boy, girl, son, daughter, or hey you. When we had our kids I did the same. Until my oldest, my daughter, brought it up at a meeting with her counselor that it made her feel bad that I called her names like that. So I stopped. I talked to my sons and they both were fine with it. Sometimes when I call out "boy" they yell back "me boy or him boy"? But since that meeting I have never referred to my daughter by anything other than her name. Other than that our relationship has not changed. I accepted that she didn't want to be treated a certain way. Last summer we had a family reunion. My parents were the guests of honor since it was also their 50th anniversary. We live across the country so it was the first time that my wife and kids were around so much of my family at once. It was a great time. And all my relatives were yelling for their kids constantly. And my daughter was the only one that was only being called by name. No one made a big deal about it or anything. Last week I was asked to meet with her counselor again. It turns out she is feeling excluded by my family because they don't call her girl or hey you. She is mad at me for having fun nicknames for her brothers but only calling her by her name. I asked if she remembers why that started. She said that I embarrassed her in front of her friends by calling her girl. And that she had asked that I call her by her name. So now I'm confused. She had no problem being called by her name for over a year. Now that she has seen that is how my family is, which she knew before because we had gathered together before in smaller groups, she wants to be called nicknames and stuff again. Which is fine. So I asked if she wanted me to limit her nicknames to private family time? For example when I take them to the movies I will call them by her name, boy number one, and hey you. Which was something she had brought up as rude before. She said I was cherry picking situations and that I should just know. I don't since I cannot read her mind. She is 16. Her brothers are 14, and 13. At the reunion my dad and uncles all referred to me as fat boy. I'm 6'1" and 275 pounds. They are all short, jealous Hispanic, beanpoles. | AITA for only referring to my daughter by her given name. | NTA |
10ufsch | Original post here: /r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yi5bty/aita_for_cancelling_a_trip_and_refusing_to_pay_my/People were so kind to me in the comments that I wanted to give an update on this. TL;DR I'm doing well but it's been a long couple of months![To the people who said Polly was lying about booking a flight because it seemed suspiciously cheap/she could've cancelled within 24 hours - she booked on a cheap UK airline and this is fairly standard pricing, plus their cancellation/refund policies are what you'd expect from an airline where they charge you extra just to sit next to the person you booked with! She's many things but not a total liar, she definitely booked after I told her not to.]After everything blew up with Polly, we didn't speak for a couple of weeks. I talked it over with my parents and they said that I was under absolutely no obligation to pay her a penny, which I agree with, as did all of this sub! However they suggested that I could offer to pay a small amount (like 20% of the fare) in the interests of salvaging the friendship. I liked this idea as I was still feeling so heartbroken and didn't want to throw away 10+ years of friendship if avoidable. So I sent her a message explaining that I didn't feel I owed her any money for her mistake, but that I really cared about her and our friendship and that I would be willing to make a small contribution if it meant that we could meet on happier terms in the future and resume our friendship.Well, she left me on read. For OVER A MONTH. She did eventually reply to tell me that I should still pay the full fare (claiming she was "seconds away from booking" when I originally spoke to her), and then messaged me a "reminder" of this a few days later. That second day was my birthday and she sent me no well wishes along with it, just a reminder that she wanted money. I'd finally been pushed over the edge, I was absolutely raging and told her it was unacceptable to message me shit like this on my birthday. That was the last time we spoke and I've now blocked her on everything.It also turns out she didn't tell as many of our mutual friends as I thought. One of them is no longer speaking to me, I've tried to reach out but she's ignoring me, so I'm leaving it because who needs people like that. Another pair had heard the story and said they want to "remain neutral", which makes me think they didn't hear the whole truth, but I can't be bothered to push it as they're still cool with me and don't really care about the Polly drama.I'm feeling great now, things are going well with my family and I am really enjoying my last few months of semester abroad, I've made some good friends and am having the best time. I wish all the drama had never happened, but I'm grateful to have seen the true colours of someone I would have continued to trust otherwise. Thanks for all the support on here. | UPDATE: AITA for cancelling a trip and refusing to pay my friend back for flights? | NTA |
10uugoi | My grandpa was a notoriously ungenerous man and the extent of his Christmas gifts most year were bargain bin age inappropriate toys for the kids and hallmark store tchotchkes for the adults, and a lottery scratcher for each person. What added insult was his stern insistence that if your scratcher won he wanted half the winnings. This was a common joke at his expense told behind his back. The Christmas after I turned 19 I got my first Christmas scratcher. I didn't get one the year before because he forgot I was 18. It won 100 dollars. He asked me if it won and I lied to his face. I said it was a dud. Broke college student disinclined to share the winnings I told him no. I took my girlfriend out for a nice dinner with it. When the family found out I got the mother of all guilt trips. I was told to pay him back the 50 bucks I "owed". I refused, and thankfully they didn't pressure me further but the whole family said I was an asshole for lying to my grandfather intentionally. I say his gift was given in bad faith if he was gonna insist on taking half the winnings. This was many years ago and my grandpa has since passed. But my perfiddy is still brought up from time to time. I didn't get any scratchers again. AITA?EDIT: clarification. They found out because my girlfriend accidentally let it slip that I took her on a date with lotto winnings, not knowing that I had lied about it. | AITA for telling my grandpa that I didn't win anything on a lotto scratcher when in fact I won 100 dollars so he wouldn't take half? | NTA |
10uj3o1 | My husband and I own a small hobby farm. It is just over an acre. We have a 4 stall barn, large chicken coop, and a shelter for my 3 sheep. I have 3 horses and I rent out 1 stall to my friends friend. This boarder brought me a very sick horse that I nursed back to health. I forced her to take care of some much needed veterinary things on the horse which saved its life. I am of the mind set that it is our responsibility to fix things before they become a problem. She is essentially a single mother with 4 kids and waits until things are really broken before she reacts. In other words, she has way different views of the world than I do. I am always expecting things to end up sideways in a bad way so fix things that look even a little fishy as a horse vet bill is never lower than $500. She waits until it must be taken care of before she reacts. She asked me if she could give kids lessons on my property to pay for things. I said sure as long as she had insurance to cover both my home and her. She also, could not let her students be alone on my property, and she had to keep everything picked up.Well, her under age students are being dropped off 60-45 minutes before she even shows up to play on my property. Things like brushes, tools, and saddles are left out all over. I reminded her about these things and she said she would fix it. My husband then asked if she really had insurance. I then asked her for proof of her insurance. She did not have any.I am pissed because she is leaving us vulnerable to a law suit and the possibility of loosing our home. I called my insurance company to make sure we were covered in the mean time, then asked the horse community what insurance she and I would need to make sure we don’t lose our home if one of her students gets hurt. In the meantime, I asked her to stop lessons, or get insurance, or leave by March 1st. AITA for doing this? | AITA to make a single mother shut down her business on my property? | NTA |
10uiqc7 | My husband’s stepsister makes clothes as a hobby and for their parents’ wedding anniversary she wants to make all of the women in the family matching dresses to wear at the party this year. She came over yesterday to take mine and my sister-in-law’s measurements. When she was taking mine, my husband walked in to ask me a question but then he decide to stand there and watch. For the most part he was silent but I could see his stepsister felt uncomfortable as she kept messing up which she wasn’t doing before he walked in. At one point he made a comment about my ass and she went really red and looked embarrassed so I told him to go into a different room.He didn’t want to go at first and argued that he wasn’t doing anything but I kept insisting until he finally left. My sister-in-law sided with him and said he wasn’t doing anything so I should’ve let him stay. I pointed out how he was making their stepsister uncomfortable but she only said that my husband has seen me in my underwear a million times so it wasn’t something their stepsister should get embarrassed over.His stepsister was grateful that I asked him to leave but my husband is still upset over being kicked out so AITA? | AITA for kicking my husband out of the room for making his stepsister feel embarrassed while she was taking my measurements? | NTA |
10uco3c | UPDATE: \[took away parts to make room\] i've told my coworker (the one he asked about my plans) if she would support me in bringing this to hr but turns out she's already kinda tipped them off on his behavior (by this i mean she's mentioned it vaguely to a friend from hr bc she didn't want to get ahead of me and hr said the complaint had to come from me for them to be able to do something about it) and would be supporting me in filing a complaint. thank you for all your concern and pulling me out of downplaying the situation!A coworker started to develop some sort of feelings a month into knowing me. Let's call him Gray. It may not be something too deep so I was flattered. i let him know i wasn't interested since i just got out of a long relationship.A month after this rejection Gray asked me to be his girlfriend. Again, i rejected. He said it's cool, but he'd appreciate it if i didn't cut him off. I didn't, as he was a nice friend to have. I had to reiterate to him more than once after this that there is no chance i'm reciprocating the feelings at all.One day one of my closer coworkers let me know that Gray would ask her what my plans for the day were, and if i had any he'd ask where i'd be going and who i'd be with. He'd also ask her if i was hanging around any other male coworkers.One time when we were out for a lunch with the team, our boss gave us the rest of the day off. that meant we'd be free to go home or hang out after lunch. I told everyone i'd be off home as i was too tired. He offered to bring me home and i declined. He snapped and started almost begging to bring me home but i just kept declining. He then said fine let me book you a taxi home and proceeded to type my address correctly when i know for a fact i never gave him my address. I was majorly uncomfortable at this point.He's done weirder things over the past year - stalking my family on social media, memorizing usernames of my close friends on ig, he even found an old twt acc i wasn't using anymore, ship products he bought online directly to my address, even got on a taxi and followed mine home. When i confronted him about it he said he just wanted to make sure i was safe.Last week while preparing to go home it started to rain so he insisted to bring me home on his motorcycle. he followed me around the office just going "please let me bring you home". we were around other coworkers but i snapped at him and told him to f off and leave me alone in a rather high voice. a coworker (who was aware of the stories i told above) overheard and told me i didn't have to react that way. i talked to a (non coworker) friend about it and he told me this might be gray's way of "winning me over". now i'm worried that i'm just viewing him as annoying and stalker-ish bc i didn't reciprocate the feelings and went off on him when he was being kind. AITA? | AITA for snapping at a coworker who likes me? | NTA |
10v3fh8 | My oldest son, Ethan is getting married to his fiancee, Leah soon. The both have kids from their previous marriages, my son has Mia(15) and Leah has Jake(16). I also have another son, Henry who has Samuel(17) Ethan and Leah decided to bring Jake this christmas to introduce him to our family. He warned us that Jake's dad was abusive and he has had a very hard life, he might say rude things. Ethan asked us to please just ignore his attitude and we agreed. It was worse than he said. Jake was rude the entire time, saying things to make everyone upset. We didn't say anything but Henry and Sam looked really pissed. I don't know what exactly happened but Jake said something to Sam which made Henry extremely mad. He stood up and said he won't stay here and let his son be bullied and said either Jake has to go or they will. Mia said if we ask Jake to go she will go with him. I told Henry that I'm sorry but I'm not kicking Jake and Mia out so if he really can't stay then he needs to be the one to leave. He called me an asshole and took Sam and left We haven't talked since then and he is expecting an apology | AITA for telling my son and grandson they should leave? | YTA |
10usuqe | A little background: I am the proud (future) step dad of a 6 and 5 year old. I am engaged and getting married in a couple of months. I have known the kids and dated my fiancé since our 5 year old was 1. Over two years ago the kids moved in with me and live with me and my fiancee full time. their dad only sees them about once every month. The kids go to school in our boundary school, and my fiancée has primary placement. Between me and my fiancee we have taken on all of the responsibilities to raising our kids and their dad contributes nothing. Their dad has an open invitation to come pickup the kids every Sunday. However, we hardly hear from him and he does not see them as often as we would like.The part where I am wondering if AITA: on the days he wants to see the kids, he comes to pick them up. Every time, he knocks on our front door, and then comes inside even though the kids are fully ready to go shoes on and everything. He usually spends 5-10 minutes talking in the foyer and then they go on their way. When he returns with the kids, it is essentially the same thing, except he stands in the foyer and gives a long drawn out, emotional goodbye. He doesn’t try to move things along and it’s awkward to me that I have to be the one to encourage the kids to “say goodbye” and move on with our day and allow him to leave. Occasionally the kids want to bring him upstairs and show them a new toy or something in their bedroom. I am uncomfortable with this. I don’t like the idea of my fiancées ex coming into my house and in personal areas such as our upstairs. I vocalized to my fiancée this and she agrees, but she doesn’t want to make things in unnecessarily difficult for the kids so has taken no action on it. I understand. But…The other day, after he dropped of the kids, after another long drawn out goodbye, I told the kids to head upstairs and get their pajamas on. I walked outside with their dad and suggested that instead of him coming inside every time that he say all of his goodbyes from the car. I said this with good intentions and implying that he deserves a good, and private goodbye with his kids without me or my fiancé lingering around. I suggested once he is done with his good bye, the kids can walk up to the steps and wave when they get inside. To me this makes things easier on everyone and I don’t have to have my personal boundaries violated. His only response was that he doesn’t get to see them much and that he didn’t realize it was a problem bringing them up to the door. (Reminder he has the opportunity to see them every week but he never does). AITA for telling him to stop coming in my house? | AITA for telling my steps kids dad to stop coming into my house? | NTA |
10uu2i8 | My grandmother recently passed away. I received her china as per her will. It's pretty rare and fairly valuable from what I understand. But that's not why I want it. I want it, because it was my grandmother's, I love to entertain, and I am thrilled at the prospect of using her china.I know my grandmother left me the whole large set because she thought I was the only granddaughter.I say thought, because my cousin Robyn came out as trans last year. Grandma had dementia at this point and never knew about Robyn, though I highly doubt that would have changed the china situation.Robyn is now demanding that I giver her "share" of the china so that she can sell it to finance surgery. I'm refusing. Robyn says I ATA, but I don't think so. a) the china was willed to me. At this point it is legally mine. B) it might be different if she wanted to keep it and us it, but she is just going to sell it. I don't want my grandmother's china just sold off.​So Reddit, AITA? | AITA For Not Sharing My Grandmother's China? | NTA |
10urxf5 | I (32F) am getting married in September. We have started to get stationary orders together and we’ve run into an issue that has our families split. My fiancé (34M) and I are not very traditional, and our wedding is going to have some unorthodox aspects. In addition to an open bar we’re also doing a cannabis bar, and the desserts are coming from a vegan bakery (we’re not vegan, we just like this bakery). My parents are quite conservative and his are less so but still lean towards that end.The issue is that I want to include a note with the invitations asking people not to wear pastel colors to the wedding. My bridal party is wearing pastels (they were able to choose their own dresses/outfits) and my wedding dress is blush pink. The tradition is that you don’t wear white to a wedding, but I don’t really want someone to show up and accidentally match my or my attendants’ clothes because they were avoiding white. My fiancé doesn’t know that my dress is pink but he was fine when I explained about the bridal party. Both of our sibling groups also thought it was a good idea.His parents were not enthusiastic about it and my parents were downright offended. His mom basically told us we can do whatever we want but we’re going to look incredibly rude for dictation what people wear to our wedding as guests. My mother screamed at me and called me an entitled brat. She said with the type of wedding we’re having we have no right to ask anything of our guests, and we “should just be thankful people are coming because no one wants to smell dope at a wedding reception.” When I told her my dress wasn’t white she yelled at me about that too and then kicked me out of her house.I’ve been rethinking the entire wedding. My fiancé and I are cannabis enthusiasts and he runs a dispensary, but I can see how maybe some people won’t enjoy that aspect so maybe my mom is right and we shouldn’t have it. It would make me sad but I think I understand. I also am second guessing my choice of dress. My mom wasn’t there when I chose it and she would have had a problem with it (kind of why I didn’t invite her to come in the first place) but maybe she’s right. It’s not a black tie affair so maybe I shouldn’t ask people to wear specific things.WIBTA?Edit: For those asking, yes the wedding is explicitly child free. No one under the age of 21 will be allowed into the event and we have already contracted a security guard to enforce this. Also, we are well aware that many people will not want to attend and we are fine with that. Most of my family lives on the other side of the country and we are planning a bbq next summer to celebrate with them. We expect about 40 people (our friends and some of his family) to attend and they are all cannabis-friendly.The wedding is being held on our property and all of the cannabis will be kept and consumed outside. There will not be edibles available, and all of this will be be explained on the invitations.Also this is the text that we wanted to put on the invitations about the dress code:“As you know, we have always enjoyed things that are outside of tradition. As such, you may see the bridal party incorporate some non-traditional colors for the ceremony, and we’re asking guests to please avoid wearing light pastel colors.” | WIBTA for including a note about dress code with wedding invitations | YTA |
10uwunk | I (26F) have a 18 month old with my ex-partner (33M). We were together for two years when I found out I was pregnant. It was unplanned and I was hesitant because I didn't think we were ready to be parents. I wanted kids but I work in a field I had to train in for years, my job is super stressful and tiring, and at the time I got pregnant I'd just moved up but still wasn't making a huge amount of money and needed to carry on putting in a lot of work to progress further. He was the opposite and really excited and wanted us to start a family and we basically talked it through and (naively) I changed my mind based on his reaction.His job is kind of intense and at times dangerous and takes him out of the country for a few months at a time regularly. When I was 16 weeks pregnant he went away for work and was gone for three months. We'd text and call whenever he was able to but a few weeks into him being away he stopped answering my texts and would keep calls super short. I thought something bad happened in his work situation and chalked it up to that. When he got back he was completely off and we started bickering a lot about small things. At this point I was 7 months pregnant, experiencing pregnancy complications, and becoming really dependant on him. Just over a month before my due date he told me he couldn't do this anymore and left, went no-contact with me. I had the baby by myself, my mum and sister helped me out a lot and still do but I've been my son's primary caregiver this entire time.A few months ago he got in contact with me to talk and explain himself. I wasn't trying to be difficult or petty, but I said no because I just wasn't in the right mind space to see him because I think I honestly kind of processed everything by reacting like he'd died and hadn't been thinking of him as a person who was still existing somewhere. After that he showed up at my mum's house, my mum is extremely nice so she heard him out. She said he just wanted to meet the baby and talk things out with me. I felt guilty being the reason they couldn't meet so I said ok and he's been spending time with him semi-regularly since. Last week he told me he's going away for work for a few months again and wants to have the baby stay with him over the weekend before he goes. I said no because I don't know anything about my ex's home environment, I've never been away from my son overnight since he was born, and my ex has never had to look after him by himself before so I don't know what it would be like for him.I told him this but he said I'm just using my son to punish him by keeping them apart and that he isn't a pawn for me to use in my revenge game. I know it's wrong to let bad feelings between parents seep into kid's lives, and as much as I have my valid reasons for not letting him stay over I'm worried that I'm being too untrusting and deep down I'm letting our issues make decisions regarding my son's relationship with his dad. Am I the asshole? | AITA for not letting my son stay over at his dad's house for the weekend? | NTA |
10v41jx | I'm an Indian woman hired to work in IT for a Californian firm on a H1B visa. I do sudo'ing, SSH etc. with Mac and Linux, sometimes even VM installations of Mac and Linux stuff.36, been in the US 8 years.Anyway, my boss has told me that I have a new role, I'm to look after her second home in New Haven, Connecticut and can work from home. I'm expected to buy crisps or as you call them, potato chips, sweets (candies) and soft drinks/alcohol every day of the week and ensure the house is kept looked after.She wants me to be a tenant about 11 months of the year - she only uses it for 3 weeks in March and for Christmas/New Year.This was not in my job role when I joined in 2015.As it is, she's also insistent me, and only me, do this.She also told me to join a pole-dance club in New Haven and send her a video of me enjoying myself doing it.I told my boss there and then that this wasn't right and I can't do what my visa wouldn't allow me to, but she said I'm the only woman right for that job.AITA for standing up to her here? | AITA for telling my boss "No, I won't be a tenant in a property in a different city in a different state"? | NTA |
10ubvgp | This happened on Thursday but my girlfriend still insists I acted like an asshole so I came here to get some outside perspective. We've been together for just over a year. We moved in together around 3 months ago, or rather she moved in with me. We were both single parents, I have a 14 year old daughter and she has a 16 year old daughter. Our kids never really got along, they're not hostile towards each other but they have completely different characters and don't really have anything in common. My daughter likes my girlfriend but my girlfriends daughter doesn't really like me. So I wasn't working on Thursday and decided to pick up the girls from school because I was bored (they usually get an uber). After lunch her daughter went up to her room as always while mine stayed in the living room watching Disney+. After about an hour or so she asked me if we could go shopping because she wanted to get some new shoes and other clothes. So I agreed and I told her daughter that we were leaving. The shopping took us longer than I expected and we came back after about 4 hours and by that time my girlfriend was already home from work. And when she saw all the shopping bags she got mad that I didn't take her daughter shopping too. We argued about this for a while and I told her that I don't mind spoiling my daughter but I'm not going to spend my money on her kid when she never spends money on mine. She then started pointing out how I make more than her etc etc and it became a whole thing. Was AITA here?? | AITA for not taking my girlfriends kid shopping? | NTA |
10v15sq | It has been my (F 32) mom’s (F 72) lifelong dream to visit Paris. After going back and forth for a while, we finally set our dates to go in the fall of this year. After we chose our dates, my mom informed me that she had invited two other members of our family along with her best friend and her adult daughter (Kelly and Stacy) to come on the trip with us. Initially, I was fine with this plan, although I was admittedly a little hurt because I wanted this to be a special time for us but I didn’t say anything. My family’s had a tough time this last year, so if inviting more people makes my mom happy, then fine. I went ahead and planned my travel and chose corresponding flights (connecting with mine) for my mom and anyone else leaving from her state. I’m a very relaxed traveler, I’m not big on tourist sites or itineraries, and typically like to make travel plans and then go with the flow once I get to the destination. Last night, we had a call to discuss the trip and I felt like Stacy was being a bit overbearing in the conversation, suggesting that others fly out of an airport closer to her state (makes no sense as most are on the US East Coast and she is more inland) and that we look into working with a travel agent overall. I’m a frequent traveler and more than capable of planning a weekend in a city I’ve visited before, but after this phone call, I just kind of see things a spiraling out of control. What was supposed to be a relaxing long weekend with my mom is quickly turning into an unwieldy group-trip tourism monstrosity with an itinerary that just doesn’t feel very fun for me. At this point, I’m the only one who has booked a plane ticket, and I am planning to sit my mom down and tell her I’ve changed my mind and no longer want to go on the trip with all these people. I’m hoping that since it’s so far away, people will be willing to pivot, perhaps to a trip closer to home at another time. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or my mom’s relationship with Kelly, but I just am not willing to spend this amount of time and money planning a trip where I know there is high potential for me to not have a good time. Plus, I’d admittedly just like to have the experience with just my mom and I. So Reddit, WIBTA? TLDR; my mom invited a bunch of people on our dream vacation - I no longer want to go. | WIBTA For Canceling a Mother-Daughter Vacation That Has Become a Group Trip? | NTA |
10v1l3c | I (25f) live with an apartment complex. Our neighbors keep their dog outside on their balcony at night every night. We live in Colorado and, during winter, nighttime temperatures get below freezing. The dog is a short haired, medium sized dog who doesn’t have the coat for cold weather. Dog is also not wearing any clothes and has a dog bed for comfort outside. I’ve recently learned that if I yell “shhh” from my balcony, the dog will bark. I will do this until they wake up and bring their dog in. I assume they go right back to sleep and the dog doesn’t come out until morning. It usually only takes about 5 minutes of this for them to bring the dog in. I do this because I feel bad for the dog being outside all night until pass sunrise. We have left a note on their door explaining how unfair it is to the dog to keep them outside but nothing has changed. We also have a useless leasing office that has done nothing for the dog. My husband pointed out tonight that I might be an a**hole for doing this around 1am or whenever I come out during the night and that I’m probably waking others in the complex. AITA for making my neighbors dog bark and waking them, and potentially others, up? | AITA for waking up my neighbors? | NTA |
10ujnk8 | A bit of context:I've been renting a place for the last 1.5 years. Its a 1 bedroom apartment with a hall.3 months ago my friend/senior from my company started living here. He said it was temporary but continued to live and I didn't say much because he was a senior at work and basically taught me my job (I was a fresher when i joined). 2 months ago I had to go to my hometown for more than a month and he didn't really find another place, so I asked him to pay half rent + bills. He used to send me only half rent each month that too after me asking 4-5 times every time.So today I informed him that I wanted to empty the flat as I was moving out of the city. He likes this place so he talked with the owner and agreed to stay here. He asked me if he could buy some furniture from me so I said okay and we agreed on a price. But as always he's not paying me any money and I feel like I've been taken advantage of. He already owes me 5k (Previous months bills) + 6k for the furniture he supposedly bought from me. I came home today and emptied all my stuff which included the furniture and my own stuff and left. (I had warned him that if he doesn't pay by the time the packers and movers come I'll take all of it). He went directly to work without paying. AITA?Edit: This amount is in Indian Rupees. So Rs. 11000 = 140$ | AITA for packing all my stuff and just leaving after repeatedly asking my roommate to pay money? | NTA |
10ui2ji | Hi all,So I live in a block of 9 flats, and have lived here for about 5 years. The flats themselves are around 7 years old.I'm lucky enough to own my flat, and the block itself is a mixture of renters and owners. The flats are however, all leasehold.Every flat has a similar layout. They have two beds, with a main bathroom, and one ensuite. The living room and kitchen are open plan. Each flat has two assigned parking spaces.Now in the current climate (UK based), the flats aren't selling too well despite being in a very desirable area of London. One of our neighbours who owns his flat, has therefore decided to rent it out so that he can move to a larger property. My issue is, he has decided he wants to maximise his profit and to do this he has converted the living room into a third bedroom.This doesn't sit well with me at all and I'm pretty sure he can't legally do it. Firstly, I think it's pretty shitty to convert the living room and leave the renters with one small kitchen as the only communal space. I really don't like the idea of him maximising his profit at others expense and creating overcrowding. Secondly, this is a block full of couples and families. I'm concerned that if more and more people start doing this it changes the demographic. Then there's just the issues of having multiple people In one flat. More cars which the block doesn't have space for, more noise from the occupants etc etc.He has managed to successfully get some renters as the rental market is booming but they haven't moved in yet. I'm very tempted to make some enquiries to the freeholder and the council about his set up, but if it is illegal (which I strongly suspect it is) then I'd not only lose this guy his renters, but he'd have to put everything back at expense. Alternatively, I could just let it go.So WIBTA if I reported him?Edit to add: I can accept the asshole judgement, thats what I came here for...but Jesus I don't need to be reported by a concerned redditor for suicide watch you weirdos. | WIBTA if I reported my neighbour for turning his 2 bed flat into a 3 bed? | YTA |
10u91vb | So to give some context, every morning I go to a small local park to exercise. There’s a set of bars and poles for people to use for exercise, but I’m the only person I’ve seen use them. When I’m exercising I’m moving a lot because I try to keep it high intensity. I’m listening to music also. Sometimes this dog walker group come to the park and they sit and drink coffee and chat on some benches near the exercise area (roughly 20m away.) Today as I was exercising I felt someone tap/hit my arm and noticed that an older gentleman was trying to get my attention. I pulled out my headphones immediately and asked what was wrong and he started shouting at me for ignoring him. I apologized and said I couldn’t hear him due to the music. I noticed that 4 of the 6 dogs in this group were going a bit bonkers, barking and trying to pull away from their owners, and the older gentleman started telling me how it was my fault and I was winding the dogs up and the same thing had happened last week. I said that it wasn’t my intention and that I was just trying to exercise. He told me to exercise elsewhere. I said that this was the closest place to do it to my home and I’m free to exercise when I want. I then asked what time and day the walkers come and I can try and get to the park before they come, but the older fella said “no, we don’t need to tell you that. We don’t want you in our park and if you keep causing trouble the police will be called.” I feel bad for causing the group hassle, but at the same time, there are other benches in the park where they can sit also.*EDIT 1*To give some more context. This is not the US. Im not a POC, but I’m a foreign resident living in Japan and I’m considered a minority because of that. I’m not a US citizen.*EDIT 2*With regards to the equipment, it’s clearly designed for pull ups, dips and other activities. There is a children’s play area in the other section of the park. This isn’t a private park. | AITA for inadvertently winding people’s dogs up? | NTA |
10uag1t | I(42M) have 6 siblings and this is about our youngest(32M).My other siblings are also older than me, the oldest being 49.We lost our dad to brain cancer when my brother was 13. This devastated him and left really deep scars. He was really unstable at middle+ high school and mom was also severely depressed and none of us were living in our hometown so we couldn't handle everything as we should but he managed to enter into one of the best universities in our country. After he got into the university, he started to be in the relationships with older guys. He was in the same city with me at this time, so I had the chance to have an eye on him. He wasn't in any bodily or academically harmed but all of this fucked him up really badly mentally and he was a mess until he met with Liam 11 years ago (53M).He was a widower(he lost his husband at 2010) and my brother fell in love with him instantly. He took him under his wings, protected him and nurtured him. I was also suspicious of their relationship first but as the time passed, I saw the realness ,the authenticity, the loyality, the love. My brother was happy but the other family members never approved this relationship, accused Liam of being a predator so he got C&D orders for harassment and I was the only one with my family(my 4 year old was a flower girl) in their wedding in 2018 other than our mother, who had dementia at that time and we lost her the next year. I also cut my siblings out of our lives after our moms funeral.At the beginning of 2021,we learned my brother had cancer, the same one with our father. He was early diagnosed and had the surgery but it returned 18 months later and spread fast. Chemo didn't work and at Christmas Eve, he gave his final breath while we were there.My brother asked his funeral to be organized as we seem fit and said "please don't do anything will make you uncomfortable for anyone." We didn't invite our siblings. Liam's family and my ILs were there but no one from my family was invited,they learned my brother's death after his death was announced at our home towns facebook page. My siblings were mad and they tried to reach Liam via his lawyer but they couldn't so they reached out to me.I told them they deserved this after all they did and they should be glad we are not charging them with harassment with the heat of the moment but after time passed,I feel really guilty about saying this. AITA? | AITA for saying my family "you deserved it" when they weren't invited to my brother's funeral? | NTA |
10uqfvz | My wife and I both like our space and privacy. Me more than her. To that end, we both have our own full bathrooms.One of my biggest pet peeves about living with my wife is that she legitimately does not *see* the messes she makes. I can overlook this in most areas except water. If she turns on a faucet anywhere, going behind her is like following a dog that violently shook itself off. Every time she takes a shower, she leaves 10-15 feet worth of soggy footprints and drips everywhere she's been. I have slipped in her wake more than once.This is why I *can't* share a bathroom with her.The issue is that she will use whatever bathroom is closest, which is often mine. I *never* use hers, but I usually just shrug it off because I'm not the potty police. However, every time she washes her hands, she leaves a mess.I have told her multiple times to please not splash water everywhere. She will apologize, then continue to do it. I know she's not doing it intentionally. I know she doesn't *see* it. But it has to stop.Today, I went into the bathroom behind her and stepped in a puddle. There was another puddle on the countertop that was dripping onto the rug. The mirror was splashed with water literally up to my eye level. My toothbrush was wet. The tissue box was wet. There was a mass of soap foam in the sink. All because she had washed her face.I called her into the bathroom and told her that if she can't not do this, she can't use my bathroom.She got upset and said she wouldn't use it anymore.1. I don't believe her. I think she'll just forget and keep using it.2. I seriously wouldn't mind if she didn't leave a water hazard behind her, but she's made it clear that she cannot abide by that.3. If I asked her to clean it up, she would, but she would not do it to my standards, because *she cannot see the mess*. I feel bad for upsetting her and I know that she's sensitive to criticism and judgment, but I don't feel like this is an unreasonable ask.Am I the asshole? | AITA For Banning My Wife From My Bathroom? | NTA |
10un8lv | I (28F) do lots of marketing freelancing, as well as other side gigs, this allows me to have a nice disposable income. My dad has 3 siblings and they like to gather our families together every Sunday for dinner and chat. The dinner is hosted by my aunt Sarah, mom to my cousin Emily (26F), but I usually bring whatever dinner we have (usually pizza) from family favorite restaurants so Aunt doesn't have to cook.Now, I know Emily dislikes me, it's okay, you don't have to like everyone, but last week, I was busy with a project I had a tight deadline for, I had been sleepless for almost three days and I was planning on not going, but everyone just said I could take my laptop and work there, I love Sunday family nights so I agreed.Emily hated it, especially because everyone including Aunt Sarah kept offering me sodas and snacks while I was working because my mum told them I hadn't eat yet. She started making acid comments towards my work, and how I am just a rip-off and a scammer, because I work multiple fields, it angered me but whatever, I was too busy to bicker aroundWhen time to leave rolled up, she took me aside and started berating me, saying I should stop scamming people, and lying to my family about what I do, saying my work is just a ruse and implying I sell drugs or have an OF (I love the idea), she ended up calling me a mercenary and laughing at me. I felt so bad and after leaving I told my parents, minus the mercenary bit, which I only shared with my BF, my parents were angry because I bought dinner and Emily ate and everything but still insulted me, so they called Aunt Sarah and said we were not attending this week.The rest of the family started begging us to attend, Aunt Sarah said I didn't even have to bring food, she would cook something, and apologized a lot, but Emily didn't, so my parents decided we should go and just ignore Emily if she started at it again.However, my BF loved the "mercenary" idea, and went out of his way to design a crop top for me, featuring my favorite comic character, which happens to be a 1920's hitman cat, he also added the words "Too busy being a mercenary, you can f*ck off" to the design and printed it for me, I loved it, and my parents, who also love that comic, and not knowing about the mercenary thing, loved it too, so they suggested I wore it for today's gathering as it looks really, really cool, I did, because I see nothing wrong with it?, however when we arrived and Emily saw my crop top, she started crying??, and started saying I was so bitter and spiteful, and that she was ready to apologize to me but my crop top was offensiveI had to explain everyone the whole ordeal and it was embarrasing, my parents scolded me for not telling them what the design was created for, but sided with me, however a few cousins say I'm an AH because Emily wanted to apologize and my rude t-shirt offended her, one of them suggested I post here, AITA? | AITA for wearing an "offensive" crop top to our family gathering? | NTA |
10ukdih | Backstory: we're mid 30's, been friends since we were 11, I had my baby 2 years ago and now she's due this year. When I was pregnant I almost bled to death twice from a hemorrhage, emergency cesarean, and only had my husband and mother to help in between them going to work. I offered to pay for her flight and expenses if she flew out to help me for a week so I could heal but was met with "it wouldn't be fair to my husband to leave him with the dogs to take care of" even though he was only going to school, not working and she wasn't working.I persevered and handled it on my own. Fast forward to this year, with constant comments about his speech being "delayed", she's called him chubby, told me to watch what he eats, and also asked me "why does he sound like an autistic kid?" when he was whining during a phone call. For the record, he isn't autistic and does not technically have a speech delay.Side note: she has another friend that has helped her during times we weren't speaking, fully due to her own behavior and past abusive outbursts towards me, and she has informed me she'll be naming the baby after her. Personally I don't care, but why tell me? to hurt my feelings?Now we're at the invitations for her baby shower; something else she didn't even think to do with me, I didn't have one, and she asked me to fly out for that. Followed it with "you don't have to make it for that, but you have to come when the baby is here" like Why? Why would I do that? wouldn't it be "unfair" to my own child? and my husband who actually works full-time plus overtime and on-call?Today was the topper. I offered to mail her very expensive baby items, and was insulted with "well, I don't know because you have cats and I don't think I could handle the hair"Okay.So now I'm just wondering why I'm even involved to begin with, and if I should return the new clothes I bought for the baby. Am I the assole for wanting to give up? | AITA for not wanting to help best friend with baby | NTA |
10up25i | I(29m) recently got engaged to my fiancee(23f).I live in another state and plan to move to her state soon. I proposed while visiting her in her home state. Her mom has passed and he dad is remarried with a 2 yo son. My fiancee and her dads wife have had a rocky relationship over the years. When they had the 2 year old my fiance was not told until his wife was 5 months pregnant, and was told she could not be there for the birth(this was a home birth, not a hospital so it was an option) and was nit allowed to visit until the baby was almost a month old. Her dad has also stopped helping her financially at all and told her if we moved in together and couldn't afford it he "wouldn't have the money to help". When we mentioned getting married he also let us know he wouldn't be able to afford to put much twords the wedding and said we needed to wait and save up. She knows this is BS because they spend a ton of money constantly. She knows this is all coming from his wife, and she is basically trying to cut her out. So when we planned the party to announce our engagement, I only invited her dad, and did not let him know what was happening. Her dad will often meet her for dinner without his wife, so he showed up on his own. After we had announced the engagement her dad didn't say much and at the end of the night he took me aside and asked why his wife had not been invited. I told him that she had not included my fiancee in their big life moments, so she didn't deserve to be involved in ours. Her dad said I was a coward and immature, and said he was very disappointed in us, and he doesn't support his daughter marrying "a man who is 30 and acts like a spoiled child" and told me not to expect him to pay for anything. He told my fiancee he was disappointed in her as well before leaving and she cried all night and he dad won't respond to her calls or texts. So am I? | AITA for not inviting my fiancee's step mom to our engagement party? | YTA |
10v3w62 | My wife entered a competition to meet Sabrina Carpenter in Los Angeles, with the meet-and-greet happening on 14 July 2023 at a particular restaurant in Los Angeles, a one-on-one meal with her and Sabrina (and parent or guardian as the terms and competitions said).However, the T&C's of the competition said "Only open for 13 to 16 year olds".She told me she'd entered, and put her birthdate down as 03/05/2007 instead of 03/05/1981 her real birthdate in order to win.I'm worried if she wins, she'll be exposed as a fraud.She's part of the Sabrina Carpenter fandom, I got no problem with being part of a fandom, I post on here to /r/marvelstudios under another account.I told my wife there and then that we need to talk about how to enter competitions responsibly and that if she did win the Sabrina competition, there'd be consequences for her, not from me.AITA for being concerned about the whole nine yards of this? | AITA for telling my wife she committed competition fraud? | NTA |
10uugdm | My husband (30m) and I 29f) have always been super active. We especially love rock climbing and have always climbed together. A couple of years ago my husband went from an active job to a desk job and has put on a lot of weight. This has resulted in him being self conscious and no longer wanting to do outdoors activities with me. I’ve tried to get him too but he gets angry at me, so I basically stopped trying. I would occasionally do things by myself but significantly less amounts than we use to. I have recently started a new job and quickly made friends with some of my colleagues (2 guys and a girl aged between 28-35). Coincidentally they are really into outdoor activities including rock climbing. We had been talking about going on a rock climbing trip. I mentioned it to my husband a couple of weeks ago and told him he was more than welcome to come. He said he didn’t want to and got grumpy reminding me he didn’t want to rock climb anymore. I didn’t mention it again until today when I reminded him that the trip was next week and I was planning on going. He immediately went off at me saying he couldn’t believe I was actually going and it was incredibly selfish of me to go with other people, especially two guys (he has met them before and they got on fine) to do his favourite activity without him. I don’t see why I shouldn’t get to do my favourite things just because he doesn’t want to and thought it was safer going with a group. He’s still not talking to me though so I’m starting to think maybe I am the asshole for going.Edit: since I’ve already been asked a couple of times. We are going for two nights. We’re going to camp, with a girls tent and a boys tent. If my husband had come we would have shared a tent and taken a solo one for the other girl. | AITA for doing my husband’s favourite activity without him. | NTA |
10ux1bx | My boyfriend (M34) has a 6yo daughter. I (F33) have a 5yo son. We live together and have my son 50% of the time and his daughter every other weekend as she lives out of town. We both forgot it was a public holiday this Monday which meant we would have his daughter Sunday night when usually we would not.My 3 friends and I made plans for Sunday night that were important to me and them, 3 weeks prior. I would not have my son, and his daughter would be back at her house with her mum, so I would be free to make plans (so I thought). It was only a dinner, but its very difficult for the 4 of us to get together alone, hence why it was planned so far in advance.Sunday morning, my bf wakes up ill: a stomach bug. He stayed in bed all day while I looked after both kids. I made sure he was left alone so he could sleep. Mid afternoon I asked if he would be well enough to look after his daughter that night, as I was taking my son back to his Dads, and i wouldn't be home. He initially says yes, but then later on he makes it pretty clear he is very unwell and its likely gastro.I suggested he organise for his daughter to go home then, as a) its friggin contagious and b) if its gastro he'd still be out for the count Monday and I'd be on duty to take care of her while I work (I WFH and don't get the day off), and likely have to drive her to her mum on Monday. I even offered to drive her back the whole way on Sunday afternoon instead of her mum needing to come meet us halfway as she usually does.He is angry that I would suggest that, as his time with her is extremely limited as it is since the mother moved out of town with his daughter. He said he might be feeling okay Monday and then still get to spend the day with her and didn't want to risk losing that day with her, which I do understand. But there was an expectation from him that I cancel my plans and stay to look after her because he is sick and needed my help.I offered him an alternative - if he's too sick to take care of her, I will take her home so you don't have to, and so I can keep my plans. We had an argument, I said (quite angrily) that his daughter isn't my responsibility, and so I left and went to my dinner. He was angry, I was angry. We absolutely do not see eye to eye on this. If I were in dire straights and he had plans, I'd organise for my sons father to have him as i wouldnt EXPECT my partner to take responsibility here, but it is different as I see my son whenever I want and have him far more often. Losing a day here and there isn't a big deal for me like it is for my bf, and he expected me - as his partner - to cancel my plans and take care of his daughter so he could have more time with her.AITA for feeling like I shouldn't be expected to sacrifice my plans I made 3 weeks earlier that were important to me, and stay home and look after his daughter/help him instead? | AITA because I didn't babysit my boyfriend's daughter? | NTA |
10usgbf | My wife (26F) will neurotically ask me (29M) questions for reassurance. For example, when we leave the house for several hours, she will ask me whether our dog will be alright (while we’re gone). When I provide an honest answer (“I don’t know”), she becomes extremely hostile and upset toward me. Therefore, my lone option is to say, “yes,” or else an argument will ensue. Obviously, I suspect our dog will be fine, but cannot guarantee it (e.g., house fire, burglars, etc). It is an average dog being left alone in an average home located in an average neighborhood.The question irritates me because I have no additional insight into whether our dog will be alright. My wife knows that. I am not veterinarian, nor can I see into the future. So, why continue to ask me the same asinine question?Accordingly, AITA for responding with, “I don’t know.” | AITA for not entertaining my wife’s frivolous questions? | YTA |
10ud2g9 | Hubby and I were watching Law and Order. My son came into the living room and my husband asked if I minded if they watched a Breaking Bad. I’m not interested in that show, the one we were watching was a rerun, so I said that I didn’t mind. It was close to 8:30 so I went upstairs to put the space heater on, bring my phone and Nintendo switch upstairs. Since it was chilly, I sat near the heater and turned on the switch and thought I’d play a little before going back downstairs. Well, next thing I know it’s 9:30 and my hubby comes upstairs and is annoyed that I didn’t sit in the room with them while they watched Breaking Bad. I do that sometimes, I just wasn’t up for it that night. I wanted to get warm. He is also annoyed because I “just went upstairs and didn’t say goodnight” I explained that I didn’t go upstairs to go to bed and that I had planned to come back down but I lost track of time. His response was “I don’t give a shit anymore” Am I the asshole for going upstairs without saying goodnight when I didn’t plan on going to bed, but just lost track of time ?EDIT: Earlier today, we had a chance to talk about what happened. He said he had a bad day and just wanted to hang out.l together. He thought I was mad going upstairs (I honestly wasn’t and didn’t think I had any type of body language to suggest it) but he perceived it that way. He also said that I “never just walk upstairs” and I reminded him again that it wasn’t my intent to stay up there. I asked why he said “I don’t give a shit anymore” and he said he was miserable and didn’t want to talk about it and it was a poor choice of words. Better communication on both parts would’ve prevented the problem as many suggested! | AITA for going upstairs without saying goodnight when I didn’t plan on going to bed? | NTA |
10v4xcm | I (26F) grew up in India and moved to England with my family in the second year of high-school. Back in India my family had maids and helpers (its genuinely not about being rich there most middle class families have hired help) and hence growing up I never learnt how to do most chores. When I got here my parents wanted me to focus on studies and were kind enough to never ask me to anything more than a cup of tea here or doing the laundry there. I managed to not only graduate at the top of my class but also secure funding for my dream college and programme. I have now graduated with my undergrad in medicine and am working on what field I want to specialise in. I got married last year something arranged by my parents with my consent . He is a few years older than me and earns decent money. He has consistently asked me to do more around the house when I am home . We do split the chores but more times than not he finds fault in what I did . The clothes still have creases, the pasta is overcooked, the vacuum bag hasn't been emptied etc.My salary as a resident isn't much but I have offered to hold tutoring sessions for the high-school kids I know who are aiming for a similar life course as mine (it's something I've done before and honestly studying is where I am most confident). This money would go solely to hire some help around the house so we don't have to focus as much on chores just on maintaince. My husband was baffled by the idea and called me entitled and spoiled for not wanting to help around the house and using 'I don't know how' as ab excuse to what he deems my responsibilities where as I don't understand how I'm lazy when I'm doing extra work on top of my actual Job to earn the privilege of not doing chores.Edit: For those who can't read, apparently, please note I am taking on a second part time Job essentially to PAY FOR IT MYSELF. | AITA for wanting to hire help instead of learning how to do chores ? | NTA |
10umy8f | Growing up all my life, my dad was on meth. My mom stopped and got clean when I was 5. Fast forward to now, me being 26, My dad passed away in February of 2022. I never really allowed my father to be around my children since he was on drugs. I didn't even have him at my wedding.So recently, I found out my mom is back on meth and I am holding her to the same expectations. But in her eyes, I'm being a hateful and disrespectful daughter. She also shows favoritism towards my middle daughter. And I won't let her around my kids till she is clean off of meth. Also, she is a completely different person when she isn't on it.But am I the asshole for holding her to the same expectations as my dad? | AITA For holding my mom to the same standards as my dad | NTA |
10unmja | Edit to fix grammar and spelling I (37m) now the title sounds weird, but my wife (46f) is saying l am the asshole in this situation.For some information, I had my son (17m) when I was young, and I have been raising him by myself since he was 3. My son has cerebral palsy and is confined to a wheelchair so we first moved into our current house. we agreed that it would be a good decision to give him the master bedroom. This is were the problem with my wife started my and my wife, who I'll call Amy for the sake of this post. Have been married for 2 yea, s but she only moved in a few months ago. Because of her work and this is the issue really began. So once we had moved all of her things into our room. She made a joke saying I never realise that your house doesn't have a master bedroom. And my 7 year old niece it was over at the time, corrected her, and said we did, but it was my son's room, and my wife sort of hummed I went back to unpacking her boxes. The later that day after my niece and brother has left she said that now she had moved in that my son and us had to switch room I told her no I will not be switching rooms with my son because it has been adapted to him and his disability (ieg I had bars installed in my son's bathroom increase he fell) among other things. But then she said I was an asshole because a married couple always has the master bedroom ( I've never heard of that).So, reddit AITA for not giving my wife the room she wants. | AITA for not giving my wife the master bedroom | NTA |
10v4ioa | I met my wife on tinder about nine years ago. I was in university and she was working. We both met a few people on the app. When we decided that we were going to be exclusive we both deleted it together. It was a way of commiting to each other. I know it's weird. She still doesn't like that I used it to hook up with girls before we were exclusive. She isn't exactly innocent in this regard but she says it's different because she dated the other guys and didn't just hook up. Whatever. Four years ago her father passed away in a motorcycle accident. It was very sad as he was still pretty young and healthy. She has had a hard time dealing with it and is still grieving pretty hard. I don't really get it but I do my best to be there for her. The problem is that she gets triggered by anyone cheating on a tv show or movie. And the same goes for a father dying. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a show or movie without that? She lost her shit at the theater when I took her and the kid to see Encanto. She cried for a week when Marshall's dad died on How I Met Your Mother. Spoiler alert for a show that's been over for nine years by the way. So I've been making extra time for myself to watch movies and shows that have that in it. I get up early and make breakfast for everyone. Get the kid his lunch ready and then start work early. I usually finish up my work an hour or so before the end of my day. Then I stay in my office and and watch an hour of something I want to watch. Then I come out and do my part of the housework and spend time with her and the kid. On the weekends I spend time with them and depending on the weather we might end up playing games or watching tv in the house. If it's nicer out we spend time outdoors. Unfortunately she caught me. We had friends over and they mentioned seeing a recent movie in the MCU. After they left she asked me when I saw the movie we were talking about. She knows we didn't see it in the theater and we have not watched it on Disney+. So I told her I watched it little by little in the office. She insisted on going through my movie queues on all our streaming services. Now she is pissed at me for hiding out and having private time away from her and the kid. I have always made sure she has plenty of time to herself. We budget for her to get girls nights. Spa days. Massages. Lunches out with friends. I do a lot less socializing than she does. I like tv and movies and that's how I want to use what little time I can carve out for myself. She says I'm being selfish. And that I cannot understand why she feels the way she does about cheating. And that I'm downplaying her grief about her dad. I just want to watch Mr. Robot in peace. | AITA for "hiding out" in my WFH office so I can watch whatever I want. | NTA |
10uq9jx | Me (F17) and my sis went on vacation to our neighbouring country with our uncle and aunt. For context, they’re both in their late 40s, they have no children and live that bohemian life cause my aunt has really well-paid job. I think you should see both sides of the story, so keep in mind they paid for the whole vacation.It was second day of our vacation and we went to swimming pool. I’m ginger and ofc very pale, and can’t be on direct sun for long. But my aunt wanted to get a spot in direct sun, cause she wanted to sunbath, I agreed cause I didn’t want to sound ungrateful for paid vacation. I was feeling dizzy after a while but didn’t make a big deal out of it. My skin was burning as hell but I stayed quiet.Later that day we went for dinner. I wasn’t feeling good, cause I’ve spent whole afternoon in direct sun but again, my mouth was shuted. Just told them I’m feeling little bit dizzy. Neither them or me made a big deal out of it, cause it’s known fact I have very low blood pressure. So we assumed that would be it. But I started to feeling worse and worse during the dinner. I’ve started asking if we just can’t go back to the hotel, cause I’m really feeling unwell. They didn’t really care cause they said “I’m adult, I can do it”. I mean I was this close 👌🏻 to fainting. But they were like “Have at least one shot, it will raise your blood pressure.” When I actually started to go even more pale, that it really looked unhealthy, and weak in general they finally, after my begging, took me to the hotel. At hotel my head was spinning like never. I knew that, if I had the oppoturnity to lie down sooner my bp would stable itself and I would be okay instead of trying to go over it by pushing myself over my limits.The next day was terrible, I was so weak, felt like I will throw up everything if I ate. They didn’t want me to stay alone in the hotel room, so I had to go, with them to see monuments. I was so quiet about feeling unwell but when it became unbearable I told them and they said I made it up cause I looked fine to this moment. My sis and aunt had lunch and uncle took me back to hotel. When they got back, my sister told me secretly, that aunt was all the time talking about, how I ruined the lunch, and why can’t I overpower myself and so on. I felt so bad that the next day, having fever, quick breath and other symptoms of heatstroke but they still left me at the room because they were on vacation and (this is my aunts words) “they won’t let me ruin it”. In the evening I got so bad, that my other uncle picked me up and drove home.I think I should mention that this brought my anxiety back, along with hypochondria, and I had to go through that terrible process of starting the new antidepressants again, just because they made drinking their priority. It’s an old story. But every morning when I have to take the antidepressants, I think about it. | AITA who ruined the vacation? | NTA |
10ufqnv | As the title says I spend about an hour in the bathroom just so I don't have to go to church. My father is a pastor and since I was little it was what was taught and drilled into me.Now that I'm older I just don't want to go anymore, things have happened to kind of make me want to distance myself and figure things out for me. I've vocalize how I don't want to go to my dad many times but each time it turns into him yelling at me about how I need to read my Bible and how I need this and brings up "mistakes" I've made. Or he'll go off on a rant about how I'm selfish and ungrateful because I don't want to do this one thing but want him to do things for me even tho he "legally" doesn't have to. When he says that he usually lists things like feed my siblings and I, taking us to school, stuff like that. And I mean yea he doesn't have to do that he could of not had us or given us up but since he didn't, we'll then yes legally he has to feed us. I'm 20 so I've been trying to buy my own groceries and do my own thing but even then he goes off at me about how we're a family and I can't buy food for only myself. But anyway this morning I made sure to try and take forever in the bathroom so he'd just leave me so I didn't have to go to church, he yelled at me and went on one of his rants and eventually I was dragged to church all while he called me ungrateful and selfishA few edits: I know I'm a legal adult, I know I could just go to the bank and do this and that. The thing is I can't, when I leave the house I have to ask permission and let my parents know where I'm going.I tried to get my license as soon as I turned 16, my dad wouldn't allow it, still doesn't I've been learning and trying to drive but everytime I try to schedule the test he shuts it down and says I'm not ready. So to go to the bank I'd have to catch the bus, I have a bus pass that he again has access and puts exact money on so when I say I'm going here he puts the exact amount needed and if it comes up short or not right I'm busted.I haven't mentioned my mo, she's in the picture still married and live together but she's much worse. I'm terrified of my mom, I'd rather try to work things out with my dad than her.I also have 2 younger siblings that I basically parent, I can see they get treated better than I was/am but I just can't leave them. | AITA for spending an hour in the bathroom so I'd miss church | NTA |
10v03fp | Currently i [25M] live in another city away from my family because of my new jobIve been here for about a month nowAnd could only find a two room studio to live in.My coworker on the other hand lives approximately an hour and half away from the working place which apparently hes fine with as i asked him beforeA couple days ago he asked me if i know any hotels with cheap prices so he can stay in one night cause he had an online lucture to give later, and i told him about two or three hotels but i dont think he liked the prices.After that he asked me how many rooms do i have in my apartment and told him two but the other one is completely empty.Now i heard that he wants the boss to buy some simple furnitures like bed, wardrobe, etc. So he can stay in my place whenever he needs.I know the other room is empty but its because i couldnt find a one room studio, and tbh i wanted someone i know to live in the other room or leave it empty because i dont like strangers live with me, let alone stay a night and leave the other.I plan on telling him firmly but politely that he cant live with me and i dont want someone to live in the other room even if it remains empty.So aita if i told him that ?P.S. sorry for bad english | AITA for not hosting my coworker? | NTA |
10uv0pc | My S/O and i have been living together since 2016. Since then I have paid for all of the utilities, the mortgage, property tax, home owners insurance, groceries, etc. I've only ever asked her to pay for 2 things: her own debt, and our vet bills (we have 2 dogs).She doesn't make much money and has had no less than 10k in credit card debt since we've met. In the time that we've been together her credit card debt has actually increased by several thousand. But she has been fully employed ($15/h) the entire time we've known each other.I've been nagging her for years to get her spending in check so we can have a fighting chance at a reasonable life in which I'm not breaking my back for us to survive. Recently, her car shit the bed and she had precisely $0 in her bank account to get a new one. She also has a 500ish credit score (700 when we met). So i bought a beater for $4k so she had something that would roll to work and back while she saves for something of her own. Thus far the car has cost me around $6500 after fuel, insurance, and taxes.Even though she doesn't make much money, it literally cost her nothing to live. Her food, housing, utilities, insurance etc are covered. So this means she has the ability to save around 400-500 a month to fix her own situation. She has yet to do it and at this point I'm questioning whether or not this relationship is a lost cause. I feel like it's been 7 years that I've been paying her way and she has 400 dollars to her name. How can i rely on her in any situation where I'm out of work? If i end up in an accident or come down with a serious illness there is absolutely no plan b. Ill just be injured/sick AND lose my house. She also potentially wants kids but in my mind, if she can't save $10 how can i trust her with my child? Long story short, she costs me thousands in unnecessary expenses every year because she won't grow up and take care of her own financial problems. This leads me to lecturing her and inevitably making her cry and her playing victim while dragging out every excuse in the book to justify why she CAN'T help her own situation.Now I've stated the bad, let's look at the good. She's fiercely loyal, generally sweet, genuinely a good person and she puts up with a lot of my own shortfalls.I'm strongly considering leaving her though because every year that she doesn't get her shit together costs me 10k+ of my retirement savings. We're up to at least 70k so far. Am I the dick head for telling her that I'm done with it? I do love her, but i feel like she is actively sabotaging the life that I've worked 70+ hours a week to build for us for nearly the last decade. | AITA for forcing my S/O to grow up | NTA |
10v2gv2 | So my ex and I have a 5 year old, when our son was 6 months she seperated (the character limit doesnt let me elaborate).After a while she didnt allow me to see my child. So i went to a lawyer who recommended to go to court.In this process she started to make up lies about me to make me look bad infront of a judge, so I had to have court odered supervised visits with my child for 6 months for an evaluation of my relationship to my son.After 6 months a court date was in order, for a decision.3 days before the court date i got notified, that my ex disapeared with our son, location unknown.At that point i stopped sending money.For 3 months I had no idea where they are, to then find out that they are in a different country.After some emails, she told me i could fly there and visit our son.So i did.While I was in that country she told me that she was pregnant and that they want to stay there and if I tell the court back home that everything is resolved, i could fly there every two weeks. (She apparently got an abortion later)I agreed, told my lawyer and visited theree time until the paperwork with the court was settled.Once that was done, she blocked me and didnt allow another visit…I got news that her parents had to tell me that the situation was very bad, my ex and new partner were engaged in domestic issues.I startet pressure in that country with a lawyer and all.2 months after, things got so bad, that my ex came back to our home town.A couple weeks after, my ex got into a clinic because of depression. I brought our son to visit and tried to support.Our son mostly lived with me, because the court gave me sole custody.After a couple of months I offered her to have shared custody and she happily agreed so i did the paperwork.She doesnt work and cant find a job she likes, because she doesnt want to do a job that makes her unhappy.So i provided financial support basically for everything. Gave her money for an appartment, bought everything she needs in the appartment, paid rent for a couple of months. We even had some intimate moments, which was really confusing.Everything else got kind of normal, day care, divided the time where our son is with me or with her.A couple days ago she told me, that she had to look after our son for the most time alone in the past and that if I am such a great father its my turn now. That I am not a team partner, she cant trust me, and a list of things I apparently did wrong and that its my fault that she went to a clinic.At which point i was done if I am not appreciated. Said, that yes, I certainly made mistakes but so did she and that if we want to coparent succesfully this is not the way to handle things.She told me to pick up my son.She apparently went partying the last couple of days and we didnt hear from her.I paid this months rent already but starting next month she will be broke.So, would i be the asshole if I stop my support completely? | WIBTA if I stop my financial support to my ex? | NTA |
10uib2d | TL;DR I travel with my mother yearly and it’s out tradition. My uncle tagged along last time and it wasn’t good company. This year she invited him again without telling me and I’m thinking on not going. Probably will enjoy my vacation doing something else. AITA for that?To give a little bit of context, since I'm 18, me and my mom make a vacation trip, that happens every year and it's sort of our little tradition.I left her house when I was 22, but we stayed in touch and kept a very good relantionship. We still travel every year and it became even more special now, because we don't get to stay together as much as we used to, so we use this time to be together.2 years ago, two of my father's aunts asked where we were going on vacations that year and they would tag along, because out trips look like fun. We are caught by surprise, but my mother gives them the whole intinerary, they end up tagging with us the whole trip and being a nuisance, asking me to carry things around, they don't speak english and don't even try, so they order me around so I get stuff done for them. It was the worst experience, but eventually ended and we joked that would never have other people come along...Last year, my uncle (her brother) asked if he could travel with us on our next vacation, because it looked fun (yeah, you know where this is going).This time it was worse, we get individuals rooms, but this time, I had to share the room with my uncle so he could save some money. I live alone, so I'm not used to share a house with someone, even worse a room.Same communications issues and some personality ones, they end up fighting from time to time (siblings, you know right), by the end of the trip I told my mother that it's okay if she wants to travel with whoever she wants, but I'm not up to it and would pass next time.This year we are planning a cruise trip and some time in Europe. On thurday she told she had paid her part on the travel agency and I could send them the money to cover my part. When I talk to them, they ask if I'm Anon or Anon's Uncle.My mother had invite my uncle to travel with us again, after knowing that, I said that something came up and would call another day to finish the payment.Today I called my mother and told her that I'm not paying and won't travel this year, because I don't want to repeat the same experiencie from last year. She started crying, saying he invited himself again, and she couldn't say no, but this time would be different, because in the cruise each one can do whatever they want.Am I the asshole for not wanting to waste my vacation (the only time of the year I'm off work and can enjoy doing things that I like or just relax) traveling with someone I dislike and I feel even worse because she didn't even told me, I found out because the agency guy asked me who I were. | AITA for bailing on a trip with my mother, because she called my uncle to come along without telling me? | NTA |
10uwuj5 | To preface, he is really into anime and I knew that, but didn't know that he would ever buy one of these things.We were talking about anime and somehow got on the subject of body pillows with anime characters on them. I was looking at pictures of them and they were all extremely sexualized. I expressed my surprise and disbelief that people buy these and sleep with them and said "that just screams incel." Then he admitted that a couple years ago, he would have bought one. He got quiet for a while and seemed upset, then later asked if I think he's an incel. Of course I said no and apologized a lot, since I didn't mean it that way, but he still seems upset with me and I'm wondering if I fucked up. | AITA for accidentally calling my boyfriend an incel? | NTA |
10uzaip | Backstory: I (23f) have always been thin and bony, to the point where my mother took me to the doctor as a child but he told her it was normal. I did become concerningly underweight in the past few years- many people I love died, battling a chronic illness as well as depression, and a few vices (nicotine, mainly) that aided in suppressing my appetite. This past year I really got a grip on my health and started turning things around and gaining weight healthily, rebuilt my relationship with food and everything.We have very close family friends who moved out of state years ago, but we see each other 1-2 times a year- my sister & I usually travel to their state in the summer for a week. I visited them last August, and they came to visit this past September after the passing of a mutual friend. In August the mother, let’s call her Kelly, badgered me several times during the trip about how thin I was. I told her I had been struggling but that I finally was turning things around and had been gaining weight. She insisted I was still too thin.In September, my mother told me that when they were staying with us Kelly kept asking her if I was bulimic, because they all saw me eat but I was too thin. It freaked my mom out but I have kept her updated on how much better I’m getting and how much more I’ve been eating, quit nicotine, etc. We live together and are close. But when my mom told Kelly I would have come to her if I had an ED, Kelly insisted “your kids never tell you what’s really going on.”Long story short, it was just way too many comments about my body and personal things when I kept insisting I’m aware of how I look and I’m really okay. Whenever we post or send pictures there’s a chance she will text me about my weight. Now it’s the time of year again when Kelly is bugging us to come visit her, but I genuinely don’t feel like spending a week in this woman’s house. When we don’t visit they take it personally because her daughters were close with us growing up, but they’re also old enough to come visit us now. AITA for not wanting to see this woman who was basically a second mother to me growing up? My mom says it’s out of concern and love, but it doesn’t really feel like it. I do look a lot healthier now (I AM a lot healthier), but I know it will still be brought up. | AITA for not wanting to see my family friend anymore? | NTA |
10uqbli | Some background, I 20F have three younger step siblings F18 M17 and F12. We have never gotten along and I especially can’t stand my step brother M17. Went on a family vacation and had two joined rooms. I walked in my room and he was sitting on my bed I was immediately hit by a vile stench that was filling the room. I said “something smells awful” and he immediately said it must be his dog (a 6 pound chihuahua). I knew it wasn’t the dog because he was visibly dirty so I picked the dog up smelled it and told him that it was definitely him. He argued and said it wasn’t and it was none of my business. That may be true but in my opinion if I am sharing a room with him it becomes my business. I told him that he was making it everyone else’s problem because he was so dirty that he was making the room reek. My parents are pissed and possibly rightfully so because I wasn’t kind in any way. | AITA for telling my step brother he’s disgusting for not showering? | NTA |
10v12yx | To begin, right now my friends and I have not been speaking for the last 2 weeks. I stopped answering their calls and texts because I needed a minute to think this through. Well now it’s been 2 weeks and i am not sure how to approach the situation.I was hanging out with a guy who I thought was a friend. We talked about some stuff and out of nowhere he wanted to get intimate. I declined and we began having a heated conversation over that. I began getting scared and asked to be taken home. On the way home it just continued. I stayed silent and as we were nearing my house he stopped. I decided to just get out and walk the rest of the way for my safety. He got angry and came to the passenger side as I was getting out and threw my purse outside. Long story short I was scared for my life at this point. I called my “friends,” who responded in a text asking “what?” I texted back and told them, “Emergency I am scared call me.” One friend called back and as soon as I told her she began to laugh assuming I was joking. I have never been in a situation like this and I am also playful, but this was a very serious situation.I broke down what happened and let her know I was walking home in the rain scared, unsure of what he would do next. My “friend” hung up on me because she said she was with a guy and could not talk about it then. Neither one of them checked in on me until 2 days later. I want them to understand friend do not do that, but I also feel like I shouldn’t have to. AITA or are they? | AITA in this situation or are my friends? | NTA |
10ul5g5 | Context: I (21F) am engaged to “Isaac” (29m). Isaac has a daughter “Elaine”(3 F). Her mother “savanna”(22F) has a second daughter with bd 2 (32M). Elaine comes to us every other weekend and every Friday. Savanna has always had issues with me to where the police have been called and she can no longer contact me unless it’s about Elaine’s safety. (I wasn’t the one who called the police. I tried to be civil with her and she accused me of things and tried to get Elaine to hate me.) (Elaine LOVES me) Savanna has even refused to meet me since the day I started dating this man.Isaac and Savanna had a thing that savanna wanted that no one could touch Elaine’s hair because Isaac isn’t black. He had also not been informed she was going to mediation so everything she said went. Elaine has very curly hair like me. Savanna doesn’t actually know how to do hair as she doesn’t have any due to the same things she’s done to Elaine’s hair. They went to mediation again and the judge told her off and said we are allowed to do and wash her hair because I am black and white just like Elaine and it’s racist of her to not allow us to even wash her hair bc we “aren’t black” (judges words not mine bc savanna kept fighting saying we weren’t black)savanna always had her “sister” do Elaine’s hair in “protective” styles including extensions on a 3 yr. Old. CONSTANTLY to where Elaine is losing her hair. The mediation ALSO said we would no longer pay her child support since savanna owed Isaac a lot of money. So till that was paid off we didn’t owe her a dime. In that time, she couldn’t afford to get Elaine’s hair done anymore. Well, I started doing her hair because savanna wouldn’t even untangle her hair (Elaine hates it being done so bad. She said her moms hurts her with it then gets mad.) and Elaine has loved it! I use products for her hair specifically and her hair has grown back amazingly! Her mom would send her back to us in the same style I had done it in the week or 2 before. Didn’t wash her hair or take it out once so I redid it one last time. Here’s the issue, savanna messaged for a week and a half straight about Elaine’s hair being done this time. Saying I don’t know anything about black people hair and calling me racist names. Threatening me and so much more. Claiming the stuff she “uses” on Elaine’s hair is better and it isn’t. She broke communication clauses. So she finally got child support again and immediately went and got her hair done by her sister in very tight braids with extensions. While continuing to harass me for doing Elaine’s hair even though I have been for months. This time, her hair was in a nice design and beautifully curly. AITA for this? And should I just back off? She’s flipping out even when I haven’t touched the hair. There’s only so much Isaac can do as well because of the communication clause. | AITA for doing my step daughters hair because her mother can’t? | NTA |
10v3rhq | My (23f) boyfriend (25m) suffers really bad with infections and has been admitted into hospital multiple times due to this. My boyfriend is currently living with our mutual friend and her family as he is originally from the other side of the country, I still live with my parents (there’s not enough space for him). Our mutual friend that my boyfriend lives with (22f) Emily was home when I called my boyfriend on my break at work, he was slurring his speech and kept passing out in the middle of speaking with me I had to shout down the phone to try to wake him back up, I told him I would call the doctor and ask Emily to take him to his appointment, he agreed that would be best and we ended the call. I spoke to the doctor and they said they didn’t want to alarm me but I needed to call an ambulance for him right away. I immediately tried to call my boyfriend back but was not answering so I called Emily and explained what had happened and told her I’d be calling an ambulance to her home. I then called an ambulance and my boyfriend was rushed through to hospital, I immediately left work as soon as Emily told me which hospital he was being taken to and met him at the hospital.He was given an IV drip for fluids and antibiotics and then transferred to a different hospital to check for blood poisoning (luckily his infection hadn’t got that bad) he stayed connected to the IV for a few hours and then was sent home with antibiotics but was still not in a good way and needed rest.When I returned him back to Emily’s home her dad was outside so I gave him a smile and a wave (we say hello but never much more than that.) Emily’s dad immediately stormed over to my car and started cussing me out. He said that no one knew what was happening when the ambulance crew turned up and I made them all look stupid. I tried to explain I had informed Emily but he shouted over me not allowing me to speak. He then said if I was that worried about my boyfriend then I should have been at the home when the paramedics turned up. I work an hour away from Emily’s home and did not want to wait that long to call the ambulance due to how sick he was. Emily’s dad also said it wasn’t my job to call an ambulance for him and he is a grown man and could have called them himself, when I told him he was incapable of calling them himself Emily’s dad said I should have called him at work (I don’t have his number or know where he works) and he would have come home and checked on him. There was a lot more shouting on his part and I couldn’t answer him I was so angry and shocked that he would speak to me like this when we barely know each other. He eventually walked away from the car and I helped my boyfriend inside who couldn’t comprehend what had happened and I left without saying bye to Emily’s dad.I don’t think I’m an asshole but on reflection it is his home and maybe I panicked and acted on this when I shouldn’t have. So AITA? | AITA for sending an ambulance to my friends home | NTA |
10usl9x | My uncle invited me over for his birthday weekend. I normally drive to his house 2 hours away and then we cross over the border to see the rest of the family. This time he asked me to come the night before (arrive Friday night, cross the border early Saturday and spend the day there). I agreed to the plan.Friday after work I called him to let him know I was going to fill up on gas and then I'd be on my way. I also told him I would call at a specific point in the drive. When I got to that point, I called him again and let him know I'm 30 minutes away. He said "ok see you soon." When I get to his house, nobody is home. I called him and he said he's a few blocks away and asked if I had eaten anything. I said no and that I could go grab something to eat while I waited for him. He agreed and asked to meet up again in 20 minutes. It sounded like he was in a busy place, like a store or restaurant. But he didn't give me a reason as to why he wasn't home.So I went to a nearby drive-thru and sat in the parking lot and ate and talked to friends on the phone. I tried to give him more than enough time to come back, so I actually didn't drive back to his house until 40 minutes later. Still, nobody was home. I'm getting frustrated at this point and I get the urge to leave. I'm messaging a friend and they suggest I give him one more call and to threaten to leave so that I can at least give him the opportunity to explain himself or come back. He answers the call but doesn't say "hello" right away, instead, I listen to the background noise and I can hear a waitress naming off beers and there's the clattering of silverware. He's clearly out having food and drinks. After about 5 seconds he tells me he'll call me back and just hangs up the call. At this point it's been an hour since I arrived in his city. I'm frustrated at the lack of communication and I'm tired from a long week. I text him and tell him I'm leaving his gift in his mailbox and that I'm going to head back home. So I do just that. This is where I might be the asshole. 20 minutes later, he starts calling me and I don't answer. He messages me and asks where I'm going and then tells me that his car broke down. I don't want to talk about it or explain myself. I just don't want to fight or argue or explain why it's so rude to leave me hanging after I drove out so far. To me, the conversation seems pointless. A few minutes later, his wife calls me and messages me. I don't answer again. I do feel bad about this because she said she had just gotten off of work and that my uncle told her I was home. I don't think she knew what was going on because she's a hardass and wouldn't have made me wait. We haven't talked the rest of the weekend. I would personally like an apology but I don't think it's coming and I fear that I may have fucked this up with my family. I always fear that I'm not the most patient nor forgiving person, but I just wanted better communication. | AITA for leaving my uncle's house after he made me wait for more than an hour? | NTA |
10v15wo | A friend of mine has a terrible job, her boss is incredibly inappropriate and treats her like a personal assistant (requesting she get his coffee, answer his phone, get his lunch, etc) she gets passed over for promotions, and recently she even took a pay cut! Her boss claimed everyone was taking one because "business has been slow and this is the only way to prevent layoffs" but she's talked to other employees and so far she's the only one that's had their pay cut. The problem I've been having is that she texts me *all day* complaining about her job. I agree her job is terrible, she has every reason to complain, but she isn't DOING anything about it. Every day I tell her she needs to start looking for work elsewhere, there's no reason she should put up with this, she's worth more than this...I send her links to job postings in her area that she is qualified for, I've referred her to friends/family who are looking for good employees, but she just has excuse after excuse for why she "can't." Every time she actually starts behaving like she's actually going to quit, her boss will do something nice and then she gets like "oh maybe I was overreacting/ being dramatic, it's not that bad, I'm going to stick it out." She's worked there for 2 years and nothing has changed for the better. Last Friday I was dealing with a family emergency and so I admit I was already on edge, and I received **47 text messages** from her complaining about her job. I finally snapped and told her I couldn't deal with it anymore and if she wasn't going to figure out something else, then she needed to stop complaining to me about it. She got upset and said friends are supposed to support each other through everything, and I told her that I am not willing to support her staying at that job anymore, and if she chooses to then I don't want to hear about it. She called me a bitch and said not to worry about it, I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. I haven't heard from her since Friday and now that things have calmed down in my life, I'm feeling a little bad for snapping at her. But I am also feeling like a weight has lifted from my shoulders thinking about not having to wake up to multiple messages tomorrow about her awful job. AITA? | AITA for telling my friend to stop complaining? | NTA |
10uyods | I'm (21f) currently in a relationship with David (24m) as of 3 months. We have been acquaintances for a while now. Here's the thing, David is my older sister Ellie's (24f) ex-boyfriend from highschool. They broke up after my sister moved to college and David only took online college. We've gotten closer over the past few months since David started working at a grocery store I regularly go to. Then we began dating. We didn't think Ellie would mind because they broke up 5 years ago and David only saw it as a shallow highschool relationship. I was against telling her until some months went by. Suddenly it was a week before she decided to visit (she lives a few states away) so I thought it was a good time to tell her.I sent her a text saying I'm dating David now and I was hoping she didn't mind since it has been so long. She didn't reply but she left me on read. Then the day before she arrived she told me it was fine and hope I'm happy with David. Ok, cool. Our parents were iffy with us dating overall and I didn't know how Ellie was going to meet him after not seeing him in so long.She arrived. David wasn't there, but our parents greeted her, hugged, caught up on life. She treated me like normal and asked how my relationship with David was going, I explained how we fell in love and all that jazz. Ellie became... strange. She started making comments about how David is probably only dating me to get to her and how David is doing the same things to me that he did with her. I told her to stop and if she's being bitter say it to my face, but she kind of laughed it off and said she finds it strange that I'm dating her ex at all. I don't know why, but I saw red. I told her to just go rot in hell if she's so jealous that I'm with David now. It was a huge argument and I couldn't take it. I already hate dealing with my parents saying the same shit.AITA? We haven't talked much at all, David is on my side, our parents is on Ellie's side. | AITA for telling my sister to rot? | YTA |
10uii5n | My wife’s family calls my 18 month old son Romeo “Jerome”. The all love calling him this. I really don’t like it. I don’t say anything to them because they’re nice people and love my son.Romeo has a baby cuzin named April the same age, my wife says that it’s mean for me to call her Apey. I think it’s a cute nick name, I can’t think of any other nicknames for April?AITA?Info Requested: We are all mexican/mexican americanUpdate After (100 likes): Yes its petty to call her Apey but it’s not in the terms of apes or monkeys just cuzz that’s all i can rhyme it with. Also, i failed to mention i don’t use this apey nickname to the family only between me and my wife. I’ll continue to call he April and when a good nickname comes to mind if not that’s fine.Also and i’ll let them call him Jerome because as I stated they love him and even tho I don’t like it that doesn’t mean i have to say something possibly influencing something on my son in the future based on me saying something. Thank you guys 👍🏼 | AITA for calling my wife’s niece Apey. | YTA |
10v25e9 | What I thought was a reasonable comment has turned into some major family drama, and I've been instructed to "apologize", and I don't feel I should. Since my nephew was born, my BIL and SIL have always referred to him sarcastically as "the kid" when he's asking them for something. For example, if he's asking for something at the store, SIL will call BIL and say "the kid is asking for 'x', should I get it for him?". They do it when they seem to think he's acting entitled or spoilt. I always bite my tongue, but in my opinion it's dehumanizing and derogatory and how you talk about an annoying stray cat, not a child. Today we were all at grandma's house and my daughter got a popsicle from the freezer. In my household, we dont have to ask for permission to get sustenance. However BIL and SIL have old school ideas about the "right" time to eat something. So when nephew saw daughter with a popsicle, he went and asked his mom for one. SIL looked at him, didn't even acknowledged what he'd asked, and shouted to BIL in another room, "BIL, you think the kid should have a popsicle?" and winked at me. I don't know why I decided today that enough was enough but I snapped back "don't wink at me like it's some joke, and [nephew's name] is your son, not a goat. Stop calling him 'the kid'". You would think I'd said I was announcing WW3 tomorrow. SIL immediately snapped back something along the lines of if I had an issue I shouldn't say that in front of our children, and then left the room and did not talk to to me the rest of the visit. Later my husband received a text message from MIL saying I need to apologize for "criticizing and insulting SIL in front of nephew". Husband says I should just apologize. I don't think I have anything to apologize for. She's so upset because she knows I'm right, she's just being pigheaded. I honestly don't regret it even a little and wish I'd called out the behavior before my nephew was old enough to remember being referred to like that. But at least when he's older he will know an adult in his life stood up for him. It's causing more drama then I honestly think it deserves. Husband says he agrees about the "nickname" but I should apologize anyway. So im turning to you Reddit, AITA? | AITA for telling my sister in law to stop referring to her child as "the kid"? | YTA |
10urqde | I am planning to go to a national park with my boyfriend of three years for my birthday in a couple of months. We decided to tell his parents because we all live together (including my boyfriends brother and his brothers girlfriend). His parents said they wanted to come and I had no problem with that because they’re so sweet, and despite being in America for 30 years they literally haven’t even been out of their area. So I just think it’ll be nice for them to see more of it. Well the problem arises when his parents say that they’ll let his brother and his brothers girlfriend know so they can ask for the days off. The girlfriends birthday is a day after mine so they thought it would be fun to make it a double celebration. I wouldn’t mind, but I just don’t like the girlfriend AT ALL. She also doesn’t like me.We’ve also been on trips with them before where his brother and the girlfriend have literally dictated the whole entire thing. My boyfriend and I would suggest something and they’d tell us no it’s not on the list. They also always pick seafood restaurants even though they know I have a bad reaction to seafood. It ends up coming out both ends and I end up sick and with stomach problems for a couple of days. They think it is okay since they always make sure the place has a hamburger or chicken fingers on the menu for me which I think is so annoying.Anyway, I reluctantly agreed though I told them that since I planned this we will all have an equal say on what we are doing. Of course, that did not happen. The girlfriend ended up booking an Airbnb without even asking if we liked it and it was super expensive and even all of us splitting it’s $600 EACH couple. She has made a list on where we should go and when I tell her what I want she says that no one is going to want to do this. I think she thinks she can control it all because she’s older than me. (I’m going to turn 21 and she’s turning 36).Anyway, I decided that it is my birthday too and I am going to celebrate it how I want to. I plan on telling them that my boyfriend and I are going to book our own airbnb and we are going to drive up ourselves and do the activities we want to do. (They can still be fully refunded for the airbnb). I plan on telling his parents that they are welcome to join our activities, though I understand if they don’t want to cause conflict and decide not to.I am scared I might be TA because I might make it hard for his parents and I think his brother and brothers girlfriend are going to be very upset. What do you guys think?**no one besides my boyfriend and I have requested the days off of work so they aren’t in a bind if they end up not going. | WIBTA if I told my boyfriends family they can’t come to my birthday trip? | NTA |
10v0t9g | I feel gaslighted so I just need to know if I’m in the wrong.A year ago, I went to a day party with this friend group. A few guys and my best friend’s husband had touched me inside the pool under the water. Since then, I have ghosted these people including my ex best friend because of this. I finally contact her to explain why I ghosted and to say my peace. She gets mad and accuses me of making false accusations against her husband. (They are hardcore Christians)I felt bad for disappearing and only came back to explain why. I was not looking to start drama nor looking to be friends again. Perhaps I should’ve not disclosed the names but she asked and I trusted her with this sensitive information. I genuinely wished her well but she kept interrogating me and invalidating my experience because she believes her husband couldn’t do such a thing. AITA? | AITA for coming back to explain my side of the story? | NTA |
10v3456 | I'm a university professor and I stopped by the lab today to get some work done. Met a nice family whose son was showing them his classrooms for this semester. We talked for a bit and then I invited them into my lab to talk further. These parents flanked their children--both who were in their 20s, the son a sophomore in my department--and several times spoke for them and echoed their comments with parental overexplaining. The last time the mom did it, I (what I felt was jokingly) said, "Shh, mom! Let him speak, he's not a little kid anymore." She smiled and acquiesced, but looked a little pissed.Too much? AITA? | AITA for telling a mom to stop speaking over her child? | NTA |
10utqei | I, (13F) have been avoiding, or attempting to avoid my family, especially my older brother (15M) who has autism because I just cannot handle the amount of stress it puts on me.When I was younger I was always the stereotypical "perfect child" who's gotten all A's and never needed help (Still am). While my brother has always struggled in one way or the other. My father has always prioritized his work and my mother was busy helping my brother because of his learning problems.Because of my brother's autism my parents get stressed out because his problems add to their own and they often argue with each other, my brother, or me. My parents usually end up taking their anger out on me, but they often realize it and apologize. But it still takes a huge mental toll on me and the fact that most of the times I interact with my parents end up like this makes me not want to interact with them at all.Even though my parents argue with me sometimes they argue way more with each other or my brother and it hurts me so much when it happens. I hate to rely on others for comfort, so most of the time I end up crying in my room while my family screams at each other. Because of this, I fear being involved with my family incase they will argue.My brother is my main cause of my stress and it makes me feel horrible saying it. My brother lacks any form of empathy and expects others to change everything that he doesn't like. On the other side my brother will go as far to make fun of me when I'm upset. He will also blame his actions on things that I have done when I was around *seven* to make his actions seem justified*.* I try so hard to spend time with him but it always goes wrong because it is always him, him and him. If we play a game, he will throw the board and scream if he even begins to lose. Every time I try to love him and spend time with him goes wrong so I have given up. I try to set boundaries but they are always broken by my family.Because of all the constant stress and worrying I have developed depression and possibly anxiety. My parents have noticed and started to bring me to therapy half a year ago. I am trying to slowly spend more time with my family but I constantly worry about something going wrong. I also tend to bottle all of my emotions up and then explode in a angry fit and I feel horrible when it happens because it makes me feel just like my family. I hate making others sad because of how it effects me.I love my family and I understand my parents difficulty with my brother ( They have gone to multiple therapists/specialists and try to accommodate with his autism. ) But I simply cannot handle all of this plus the stress from school. ( I would like to note that I have a little sibling who cannot be left alone with my brother so I can't spend time with just my parents. )TLDR: Because of my brother my family often argues and when I try to spend time with them their anger is taken out on me.( I apologize for any grammar issues, this is my first post ) | AITA For avoiding my family, especially my autistic brother? | NTA |
10ux0zi | My wife and I went to a popular restaurant in our city yesterday. It was very crowded and there was no parking. My wife was driving and she told me to go put our name in to the hostess while she drove around looking for parking. I did that and then came out to see if she could park. She still hadn’t and a few cars were circling around waiting for spots to open. I saw a car getting ready to leave a primo spot and the only car between this spot and my wife was a car with a handicap tag on the mirror who had just pulled into the parking lot. I assumed they were going to use one of the open handicap spots, so I excitedly signaled to my wife and she was ready. However, the other vehicle passed three open handicap spots and parked in the regular spot. I was standing right in front of the car and I quickly said to the older lady driver, “I see you have a disabled tag. Would you mind taking one of the reserved spots?” And she said that if there’s a close non-reserved spot, she prefers to use that and leave the disabled spots open in case someone else needs it. So, I said, “Ok well in this case there’s a shortage of *regular* spots and several open disabled spots that no one else can use but you.” She grumpily said, “Now you know how we feel. Anyway, I’m parked now, aren’t I?” Then she went in to the restaurant. I ended up getting back in the car and we parked at a supermarket like two blocks away and walked to the restaurant. Our table still wasn’t ready or anything, but it was pretty cold out. I thought it was pretty rude of the lady to take a good spot when she had several disabled spots open to her. AITA? | AITA for asking a person with a handicap parking tag to not park in a regular parking spot? | YTA |
10v2sdc | English is not my first language, so please excuse me if I make any mistakes.I work at a very busy office, having to be seated all day for 5 years has given me some serious back problems. My boss is... not the kindest person, so I simply asked her if I could buy a new chair with my own money for my cubicle, she said yes.This was a month ago. My back hasn't been much of a pain as it were before, so it was worth the money.Last week, in my free time I was at my coworker's cubicle telling her to get a chair like mine, because it really helped me and she told me her lower-back had started aching lately, she said she felt it was unfair to the other people working there, I shrugged it off as I didn't really want to argue over that.I woke up this morning, and I saw I had an email from her, asking me to go back to my old chair, she said I had no right to do that and no one complained about back problems, so I should get rid of mine. She said if I didn't get my old chair back, she'd report me to our boss.I sent her an email back telling her that our boss approved of my chair and I did this because I really didn't want my back problems to get worse. AITA?I'm about to go to work now, I'll update later | AITA for buying my own chair at work? | NTA |
10u6sml | My husband (M32) and I (F26) have been married for over 2 years now. We moved in together one week before we got married. Before getting married, I always felt disgusted when I would visit him because his house always had dog hair everywhere. Whenever I left, I would find dog hair on my clothes, in my shoes etc... and that really annoyed me. So when we moved in together, I made it clear to my husband that I wouldn't want a dirty house, and I refuse to clean after his dog. At the time, he agreed he would clean the floors and be the one to clean after the dog. A year ago, we had our first baby boy. I am very protective over my son. As a mother, I want to make sure he is safe and has a clean home where he can play freely. Previously, when the dog has encountered babies or kids, he is always very anxious, nervous, and protective of my husband. With our baby, his behaviour is worse. Now that our baby is walking and running around the house, the dog can not find a safe space and is anxious the entire time baby is awake and walking. This past month, the dog has growled at baby when baby was walking towards him and on a different occasion the dog went in to bite baby when the baby caught him off guard and got close enough to touch him. Not to mention how jealous the dog gets anytime my husband is playing with baby. My husband was there for both of these incidents and denies them as being anything serious or of concern... I felt the opposite. This past year has been the hardest year of my life as a first time mom. Not only do I not find a moment in the day to have a moment for myself, I definitely do not want to spend any free time I have cleaning after the dog, my husband, or baby. There is dog hair everywhere, the floors are always dirty with dirt, mud, dog drool, dog hair...etc. the carpet has a layer of dog hair on it. I find dog hair in all my clothes, my food, my cups, in my butt crack. I am so disgusted and annoyed at this point and it takes too much of my mental and physical energy to keep up. I am so unhappy. For the past few months I've just given up. My husband has noticed and he's picking up after me. He's been cleaning the house (but not the floors) and cooking occasionally. He's doing the best he can because he sees I'm frustrated... but still it's not enough. I am really grateful for my husband and tell him that everyday. But I want the dog out of here. Am I the Asshole?EDIT: I clean our home regularly. Our home is not a dump. Currently, any free time I have away from baby is to cook or clean. The dog was not there before me. My husband's brother abandoned the dog because the dog was jealous of his partner and causing issues in their relationship. The dog is now doing that with baby and has been doing that in our marriage. For example, the dog wants to steal the attention whenever my husband and I hug, kiss or hold hands... and my husband does end up giving the dog attention instead of me. We haven't consulted a dog trainer because my husband does not have the patience and he gets upset with me whenever I bring up seeing a dog trainer. | AITA for asking my husband to get rid of his dog | NTA |
10v2mtt | Hi all, A few years ago I cut contact with my abusive father. A few weeks ago I found out that he has been diagnosed with cancer. I've been very emotionally withdrawn from this and I don't feel anything about his diagnosis. I've been told by numerous people to reach out to him and let him know that I am sending him well wishes etc. AITA for not wanting to contact him to offer him support with his diagnosis? | AITA for not wanting to contact my father about his cancer diagnosis? | NTA |
10uin13 | I have a coworker that is very sus. She lost her dad a couple of years ago and I’m so sorry for that but this is why I think I may be the ahole….She brings it up in the office soooo many times and in unnecessary times. Someone says how the weather is really bad and she’ll be like “yeah it was just like this when my dad passed”😲 what are we supposed to say after that? I say “what a long day today” and she’ll reply “yeah reminds me of the day of my dads funeral” y’all wtf. One crazy one was when our boss said “is everyone okay with sushi for lunch?” And she said “towards the end my dad couldn’t eat seafood so I don’t eat seafood anymore”….insane response. She lies a lot too about things that are so small. She told a group of coworkers that she doesn’t drink and then told a different group that she was hungover because she was throwing them back the night before. She also said she’s allergic to strawberries and then a few months later she’s eating a fruit salad with STRAWBERRIES! Why would she need to lie about that? Weird…She doesn’t do her job and never wants to answer her phone when clients call and blames it on her dad. It’s borderline psychotic because who does that?!So last week I had enough when she told me that she couldn’t do her share of our 2 month project that was due that week. She didn’t do any of it….her excuse was that she went to go visit her dads grave and work was too much. For 2 whole months?! I was livid, especially because she kept saying she was working on it. So I told her ask such. I said “I know your dad passing was a huge traumatic and horrible time and I get that 100% but if you can not do your job then you should take leave or let Managment know because now I’m on the hook for your portion which I shouldn’t have to do.” She just looked at me and started crying. I don’t feel bad but my other coworker said I was too harsh.Idk ATIA for what I did? | AITA for calling my coworker out? | NTA |
10uzo2m | I’m 23f my bf Kev is 25m we’ve been together for over a year but officially, today was our anniversary. We hadn’t planned much, but we were invited to the casino by his friends who are a couple we like to hang out with. I turned 23 during the pandemic and I’ve never been to a casino so I didn’t know what to expect! Before we were about to leave and pick up the couple, they let us know that the fem partner is sick and won’t be able to come. I was really bummed because I was looking forward to having another girl around and playing blackjack with her. I was hesitant to continue with our plans, but I thought might as well see how it is. When we get there, I was incredibly uncomfortable from the start. Every person in there was over 50 and smelled of cigars, I wanted to leave as soon as I saw the inside. There were no slot machines, just a large room for poker and blackjack. I mentioned to Kev before we decided on these plans that I didn’t even have money to gamble and didn’t know how to play either of those games. Again, I’ve never been to a casino and had no idea what it would be like, Kev has been before and in my opinion, should have known. We played blackjack and he taught me how to play for about 20 minutes. Then they headed over to play poker and told me I shouldn’t play because I’ll lose everything. I went to the bar to order myself a drink. This is where things took a low drop. As I order my drink, a man comes up to me and says “are u my escort I ordered” and showed me his phone messages as if we were looking for each other. I said in a disappointed tone “no.” From there, another man comes up and says “can I buy you a drink, I can get a hotel room for us right upstairs. How much”. The 15 minutes I spent alone felt like an hour. I refused multiple drink orders from one man who was saying “I won big and I’m ready to blow it all on u tonight.” I wish I were making this up. My boyfriend comes over to see me in tears, asking him if we could leave. I was wearing a t-shirt and baggy pants but every man there made me so uncomfortable. I felt pretty dismissed when I told him what happened. I was crying to him and he said: “why didn’t you say anything back.” Instead of leaving, Kev had me sit and watch him play poker. After an hour of fighting back tears, I fought my own body’s instincts, got up, and left with my car we all drove in. I texted him “happy anniversary, get an Uber because I left” and called my friend crying home. I honestly was so uncomfortable that I was scared of simply my walk alone to the car. Kev has known me for almost 2 years, and he can’t see how sad and uncomfortable I was, fighting back tears at the poker table. What I did may be petty in some people's eyes, so I want to know from strangers that are hearing my side, AITA? Right now I’m home in bed, and he’s still at the casino and he knows I’m upset. TLDR: AITA for leaving my bf stranded without a car after I cried to him to leave because I continued to get men asking if I was an escort. | AITA for taking the car and leaving my bf on our anniversary | NTA |
10v2ieh | So every Monday for about 30 years me and a group of friends have met on a Monday evening to play TTRPG's like Dungeons and Dragons, etc. About a year ago we lost one of our own and it hit us pretty hard. Only a few months later another of us (Call him Dave, don't want to use real name's for reasons) lost their father, who used to look after his kids so he could come out to play. This meant either we moved the games to Dave's place or he couldn't come anymore. So of course we all offered to come to his.This has caused a couple of issues, firstly it's quite hard for us all to get there so we're often late or some people simply can't make it that week. On top of this we feel like Dave isn't really making an effort to make us comfortable. e.g: A lot of us smoke the devil's lettuce, which he wants us to do outside, which in itself is fine although in winter it wasn't so much fun and he never cleans the dog crap out of his garden so you never know what you're going to stand in. However, the real issue is that he has his son sit in on the games, which in itself is quite uncomfortable. So we are passing that stuff and rolling smokes right in front of him. None of us really want to censor ourselves on the one night a week some of us get to cut loose and destress. We obviously want Dave to be able to join us but we really don't want to be a sh\*tty influence on his kids and feel like we should say something. Dave has taken things badly in the past and tends not to see the other persons perspective when we've had to try and talk out disagreements in the past. I'm worried we are in the wrong here and could lose a good friend of ours. | AITA, Moved games night to our friends house, friends house is not a comfortable hang out and we all want to leave. | NTA |
10up0zs | My bio father(46m) and I(27f) didn’t always used to have a strained relationship. I’m his only child. I saw him quite often as a child and young teenager, until his wife (45f) (used to call her my stepmother) told me I acted better than them. They’ve been together 20ish years now, 5ish married. She has children. One (26f) the other (23f). 26f got out of jail and pregnant. 23f is currently pregnant. Both live at home, but work.My father started calling less when I became a young adult. I would try to call or text. Everything was always screened by her. She wouldn’t relay my messages to him or he didn’t care to get back to me. They shared a cellphone for a long time. They have two cellphones now, but one uses his email and the other uses the phone number. One phone gets all my messages, the other doesn’t. I can’t pick where my messages go either to simply just talk to him.My husband and my father got really close when I joined the army and left for training (2016). But soon after, she stopped relaying all my husband’s messages to my father. They stopped hanging out, and my husband lost what little familial support he had with me being gone.At one point they (before she was his wife) had a huge falling out, they split for a good while. My father seemed happier without her. I was actually able to talk to him. Then, they were back together and married in less than 6 months right before. I haven’t been able to talk to my father by himself since.He was shocked to find out we had been trying to start a family after correcting him for thinking I magically came up pregnant right after my stepsister (26f). When my stepsister dropped her news, I was already pregnant, we didn’t share ours because it was still very early in the pregnancy. Her baby is only two months older than mine.I went back home for my baby shower, and they came, but left early. My father had made a comment about my baby shower being put together better than my stepsister’s. I guess that upset his wife. So they left.They also got 26f’s daughter a large activity center for Christmas, but didn’t get mine anything. I don’t really care about my daughter not getting a gift. It’s the principle of getting one grandchild something and not the other. I brought it up, and it caused an even bigger rift.His wife was asking me questions recently regarding my return to work and how baby was doing in daycare. I explained everything and how I wasn’t at work yet due to doing observation hours to apply to a doctorate program in the army. I got really short responses after. Usually one of them will wish my daughter a “happy whatever month” she is on the day, but I haven’t heard anything after talking about the program. I feel like they genuinely don’t care.So WIBTA if I just cut them out of our lives completely to save my daughter from my uninvolved father and his controlling/jealous wife? | WIBTA for cutting my father and his wife out of our life. | NTA |
10uyhoc | So, I’ll put it frankly, I hate this girl. I met her in person a few months back, and from the get go I tried my very best to be welcoming and kind to her only for her to kind of brush me off. And I thought I was crazy so I was like maybe she’s just shy, but then when I saw her again, she did the same thing. A bunch of small stuff started happening at first, we were in a text chat with friends planning a trip and I was asking about the booking info, and she ignored me and responded to other people then booked the place without even asking or letting me check it out. I at this point began to feel like she didn’t like me. My gut was telling me something was off. The literal next day I find out that she sent a text to my bf, groveling for his forgiveness because apparently she talked shit about me in front of him (he didn’t hear, he was on the phone with his brother and I guess she said something nasty about me in the background), but nonetheless she made it a point to make it known that she talked shit about me in front of my own spouse. She makes a ton of excuses about how much she’s dealing with to my bf. I wait for an apology and don’t get one, so the next day I texted her, laying out clear boundaries to never ever disrespect me to my spouse. She sent something saying “it wasn’t personal” and it felt super non genuine, so I told her to leave me alone and keep my name out of her mouth unless she wants to step up and take accountability. No response. I get home and chat to my bf about it, I showed him the messages and he said it looked familiar, it turned out her “apology” was copy and pasted from a convo from 5 hours earlier. The audacity. The brother tries to do damage control saying she wants to apologize in person, and she never does. The entire friend group wants me to drop it and get over it, because she “means well”. It only makes my spite grow. I blocked her on everything and found some super weird and targeted tweets she liked that made super negative implications about Mexicans and I’m Mexican… idk I just feel like maybe she doesn’t like me bc of that or bc our bf’s look extremely similar. Either way I hate her now and don’t want her ruining my wedding (especially don’t want her around my family) (she also had a convo with someone when I was present about how she plans to wear red to the next wedding she goes to and personally if she pulled that shit on me I’d lose it. What sucks is the brothers are super close and I love his brother like family and I know he will not react well to this. WIBTA? | WIBTA if I don’t invite my bf’s brother’s gf to my wedding? | NTA |
10uue3r | Our household is scent free. We don't spray perfumes, use air fresheners or even scented laundry detergent. If it's a scent, it is an essential oil or naturally occurring fragrance. . It is our preference for nose sensitivity and health reasons. We have two younger children, 3 and 6, who have never been exposed to these types of chemicals in our house. We understand the outside world cannot be held to these standards but if his room is in on the same floor/VERY close vicinity of the littles, is it reasonable for us to ask him not to use those things in our house? Trying to judge reasonableness before we seem like assholes, what is this communities opinion? TIA | AITA I(30F) am thinking of asking my to stepson(19M) to stop spraying colognes/perfumes and burning candles in his room? | YTA |
10us93w | My wife (25F) and I (30M) got evicted recently. I've been behind on rent for 4 months. I do food delivery since being laid off 6 months ago. She had to quit her job because the stress was taking a toll on her anxiety at the same time.I decided to move back in with my parents because my mom has been taking care of our son (11mo) since he was 4mo and that my wife said she misses our son. We tried taking care of him ourselves but it was clear that the stress was too much on my wife. Before we moved in I expressly told her that I want her to take care of our son and herself and also to lessen the burden on my mom.The first thing she did after moving in was to sign up for job interviews. Her excuse is so we could move out ASAP so she could have her privacy. When she's not going to job interviews, she'd sleep in until well into the afternoon, find food to eat, play with our son for a bit, and go back into our room till dinnertime and repeat. Obviously this didn't go well with my parents. They pulled me aside, telling me that as her husband I can't keep enabling this behaviour.My mom wanted to talk to me personally. I've always told her everything was fine whenever she asked, contrary to what my wife was telling her, that I'm not taking my job seriously by playing hooky, playing games instead of taking jobs, fuelling her anxiety etc. I finally told her what was going on from my POV.My wife is stubborn as a rock. She'd rather writhe in pain then take her medicine if she has a fever. She refuses to take her antidepressants when she knows she'll wake up multiple times from nightmares. She refuses to eat properly even though she's has gastroparesis from her anxiety. Her not being able to take care of herself meant I had to take frequent unpaid leaves which led to my firing. She blames me for not taking enough delivery jobs when I can't get through 3 deliveries without her complaining about her stomachaches and asking me to come home. The only reason she hates me playing games is because it wasn't time spent giving her attention or working to earn money. I also know the real reason she wanted to move out is because she doesn't want to interact with my family and she blames them for "gatekeeping our son from her." She's also quick to pull the divorce card whenever we argue because "I didn't even want to get married in the first place."My mom was livid. I think she took particular offense because she offered to help take care of our son because my wife wanted to work and is now being blamed for it. I confronted my wife and she pulled the divorce card, as expected. I told her sure but I'm taking full custody. She sobs and went back to her parents' place but asks for our son. My parents and I are in agreement that she's not fit to take care of him and she should first take care of herself before even thinking about our son. I feel guilty for keeping her from our son but she had plenty of time to take care of him but chose not to.AITA? | AITA for keeping my wife away from our son? | NTA |
10ulrkq | I (27 F) received a text message from my auntie with a picture of my sister (29 F) and her boyfriend with the text "newest couple in town". When I looked at the photo I saw my sister had an engagement ring on. My sister wasn't speaking with me at the time, so I immediately texted my mom and asked if my sister got engaged. My mom replied saying she didn't know anything about it. She then proceeded to text my sister and ask if she was engaged. My sister got really upset and hasn't talked to me since and claims we ruined her engagement and we should have pretended we never received that photo from my aunt. I do agree that my mom probably shouldn't have texted my sister and maybe should have waited for my sister to tell her. But AITA for texting my mom and asking? My sister and my mom have always been really close and I figured she would know. I didn't mean to cause such a big fight and really just want the best for my sister. She sent out her invitations to the wedding and everyone (including my mom) got one except me.More context:My sister wasn't speaking to me at this time because:When I was 36 weeks pregnant she came over and the first thing she said to me was "Holy shit you're fucking huge". I was so taken back by this comment because not only was I at the end of my pregnancy but I was also really small and didn't show a belly. When I did give birth the following week she was the 5th person I told. I didn't have some strategic list of who I was going to tell, but to be honest she wasn't at the top of my list. Shes not the most supportive sister and she often makes very inappropriate comments. Then after the last comment she gave me she wasn't at the top of my list of people to tell. She ended up hearing from my grandma, before I could tell her first, that I had given birth. She proceeded to text me saying how I was such a bitch for not including her and how offended she was that she wasn't #1 on the list. That's when she stopped talking to me initially. During the time of my daughters birth to her engagement was 5 months. I reached out frequently during this time with no response. | AITA for asking if my sister got engaged | NTA |
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