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10ufuer | Had this heated argument with my SO just a few minutes ago. SO finally said he was too angry to keep discussing it and we should just drop it. I'm still PO'd so tell me, Reddit, who's AH here?We are in our 60s and have a big extended family scattered across the US, but no kids or grandkids of our own. We don't live near any of our family so we rarely see them in person but we keep in touch other ways.A few years ago my adult nephew and his girlfriend had a kid, Ethan. We get regular updates about Ethan via text, social media, etc, sometimes multiple times a day. Ethan is a delightful child, and we immediately fell in love with the boy. Watching him grow up is a real bright spot in our days.We aren't wealthy by any means but we have a little bit of extra money now and then, so whenever we can, we send Ethan presents. A book or toy every two weeks. Something bigger on special occasions. He gets presents from other family members, too, we're not the only ones.The issue is that my SO feels if we sent presents to Ethan, we should also be sending presents to Ethan's pre-teen half-sister (my nephew's girlfriend's child by a prior relationship) so she doesn't feel left out. And, he thinks we should be sending presents to other young relatives within our extended family across the US. (Most of whom we don't know because we have lost touch with most of these folks - it is only with Ethan's father that we are somewhat close, because he is good about sending updates.)'My SO's reasoning is that we should be sensitive to how all the other children might feel. He says they might be hurt if they see what we do for one child and feel left out.I told him, all these other children have their own relatives and friends who give them things, that we know nothing about, and that's fine because it's none of our business. I wouldn't dream of imposing on them on Ethan's behalf, telling them how to spend their money on children, so why should I feel obligated the other way around. It might be different if I were a super wealthy person who could afford to give presents to everybody Dolly Parton style, but I'm just an old lady doting on her great-nephew from afar.AITA? EDIT: Someone suggested in the comments that I add this info to the post. Here are some details I didn't think to include earlier.The situation is somewhat complicated, from what I understand, but here's what I know.1. Ethan and his half-sister do not live together. The step-sister lives with her father. She visits her mother and Ethan occasionally, about every few weeks or so I think.2. My nephew and his girlfriend do not currently live together. I said "girlfriend" since it was simpler, but it seems more like an in-between state, not quite girlfriend and not quite ex. They are co-parenting as well as they can, that's all I know for sure.3. Ethan lives with his mother. | AITA giving presents to one kid and not their half-sibling and cousins | NTA |
10utlbz | Ok this is gonna be dumb lol but I was having a bad day already. I had a decently full cart and I got in the first lane I saw, not realizing the "15 items or less" sign was on (or I swear the guy turned it on while I was in line idk man.) I was loading my stuff on the belt with a barrier to the person in front of me's stuff, when I heard the man behind the woman behind me, lean up to her and say loudly "she must have lost count or doesn't know how to cuz that doesn't look like 15 to me." I immediately stopped, looked up, saw the sign, said "shit! I'm so sorry!" And started putting the stuff back, the annoyance growing a bit that he was so passive aggressive about it lol. But i feel bad so I'm trying to hurriedly put my stuff back, then he and the woman say "no no no!" And I was like "it's no problem! Sorry about that 😬" so the man huffs and says "ugh, it's gonna take longer for you to put it back than it would have to just GO like you wanted to." FOISTofall, no it wouldn't have, I'd put like 6 items on at that point. B. He waited til I started loading onto the belt to say that. 3, I didn't see and I felt bad! And D, I don't like your attitude. So, very annoyed now, I said "ha. Nah. No. I'm leaving dude. :)" I move over a lane and stand in that new long line. The man leans up to the woman again and is still gossiping about me LMAO, so I look at him like ????? and then he turns to her and loudly whispers "SHES STARING AT ME." Did I deserve that lol, truly. I am sorry!! I didn't see the sign but I get the annoyance! I know I'm extra defensive too so was I further wasting their time by removing my stuff and moving? | AITA for accidentally getting in 15 items or less lane, then leaving the lane when I realized? | NTA |
10uszet | Let me preface this by saying I love my dad. He was the main parent who supported me both in childhood and now.For some background:Three and a half months ago he went to the hospital for a surgery. It was supposed to take two weeks max until he would be able to get back home. It ended up taking almost three months. During that time, I was the only person in my household who could drive as my older brother, who lives at home, didn't pass his drivers test the first time he took it and was too nervous to retake it even though it's be at least a year and my mom is divorced from my dad and lives two hours away with my two little siblings, for which my dad gets placement every other weekend. This meant that every other weekend I had to drive home from college, 30ish minutes away, to pick up my siblings, get groceries for my brother, take my brother to work, drop off my siblings, etc. It was a lot but I made it to my winter break with minimal breakdowns.On to more recent events:My dad got back a week before Christmas and was home for almost a month when, due to some complications with his recovery, he had to go back to the hospital, this time for only two to three weeks, thank God. I wasn't at college during this time so while I had to the same things as last time, I wasn't dealing with midterms and finals. He got home again and all was well, or so I thought.Now the problem: According to his nurse who comes every mon/wed/Fri, he's doing to much around the house cleaning, driving, etc. He contacted me to ask if I could stop living in the dorms for potentially the rest of the semester to help him out at home, not dropping the semester, just being a full time commuter student, full time being minimum of 12 credits, I have 14. Helping him would consist of helping him with his wounds, doing housework, taking my brother to work, and picking up/dropping off my little siblings.After much deliberation, I decided to tell him no, helping him is much to much work on top of my school work and that the ask was just too big. He said that he didn't want to ask me and I that I was the last resort and if I had any solutions I could think of, tell him. I gave him a couple, which he seemed dissatisfied with, but held my ground. He does seem genuinely sorry that he had to ask but I'm still saying no.So I want to ask, am I the asshole?Edit:My older brother is 22, I am 19, my two little siblings are 13 and 9. I do not have a vehicle of my own and subsequently do not have an actual parking pass, meaning I have to buy a 25 dollar temporary one every week I would have the vehicle. My older brother currently lives with my dad, who has started getting groceries delivered. My brother works 3 to 4 days a week for roughly 5 hours each | AITA because I said no to helping my dad? | NTA |
10uh689 | I'm learning Japanese and am using an app called Tandem currently where I can meet people from Japan online and chat with them. Most people use their own picture for their profile so I should as well. The issue is I'm a bit chubby, and wear glasses, which has seemed to make most people filter me out.Even when I wrote people on my own they would call me mean Japanese terms for chubster, and make fun of me for only learning Japanese because of anime (which is true but it's really not relevant at all).So I looked up some pictures of handsome guys online and then went with the picture of a male model called Jordan Barrett instead. I thought they'd assume anyway that that wasn't mine actually. However this seems not to be the case and suddenly I got a lot of messages from women, many asking if I wanted to practice together and have videocall, some complimenting me on my looks and asking if I was taken. I found this quite superficial but I did play a long with it to practice. I met one girl I seemed to get along with really well so eventually I agreed to have a videocall. When she saw me in the video she got upset with me and claimed I had been leading her on, even though I hadn't. When I asked if we could continue to practice she said I had betrayed her and she had lost interest in studying. AITA? All I wanted was to be given a fair chance and not be judged based on my looks | AITA for using a model's picture instead of my own on an app for studying together? | YTA |
10uy6al | Hey guys, so I'll give a little context before I begin, I was in a two-year relationship with my first-ever girlfriend. She was a year older than me 22 at the time and I'm 21. We had our ups and downs but overall I had a good time. We recently broke up and I haven't been able to let go, so here is my story.About six months ago she had asked me for a fancy ring, to which I asked why she was asking for such a present well I couldn't afford it. We had a big fight, where she said I called her materialistic(I never did) and for me to never get her anything again. I ignored that because how could I not give my girlfriend gifts?Christmas comes around and I proceed to get some of my savings and buy a ring, I'm not going to get into details but it was a lot for me, I didn't have enough left over to get my parents anything or my sister. She told me that she was struggling to her parents a present so I help her out and framed a family picture of them. I showed up on Christmas eve with my gifts, to my surprise, she told me she was sorry and that my gift hadn't arrived. I was upset but took it in, I didn't want to ruin Christmas. I had to go home so she opened her present later that night and was amazed by it, she loved it, I was so happy but kinda sad I hadn't gotten anything.The days go by and my gift arrives, I go to her house to get it, she's getting ready for dinner and tells me that it's in the closet, I go and open it, it was 4 pairs of socks (ones with designs on them, which I like but I was expecting more) my reaction wasn't the best and I went like "you got me socks?"," is this a joke?". Everything went south from there, her mom came in and she told her that I didn't like my gift, I said I did like it but they're socks, and she was very angry, I tried on a pair and she stowed the rest away. We had a family dinner so I went with her but I was speechless, I kept my word about going and acted normal, there was a party afterward. On our way there I proceeded to apologize for my reaction and tried to make things right, she exploded on me, saying that I was expecting a gift of the same price as the ring, calling me ungrateful it was terrible, she said that she wanted to go home. I took her home and she told me to wait in the car she came back down and threw the ring I gave her in the car stating she didn't want it anymore. I tried to fix things but I couldn't get her to understand that I just wanted to see some effort.This ultimately ended in her distancing herself from me for like three weeks, she then texted me saying I deserved to talk to her, where I apologized again and thanked her for the times we had. She never thought she did anything wrong, I asked her for the socks as I wanted to keep them as a memory to stay humble but she returned them for her money back. She then said I was transactional and always expecting things in return, but all I wanted was reciprocity. I'm satisfied with who I was with her, but doubt that I was a bad person. | AITA for expecting more from my girlfriend's Christmas present | NTA |
10v3t9r | So for context, i am a really emotional person. (As in I cry really easily). When people talk bad about me, it doesn’t always get to me. But when it comes to my family, i get really upset when they do. My parent likes to remind me about my acne and acne treatments as well as exercise and diets even though I told them I have a difficult relationship with food and I am trying to improve it. They call me “lazy” for not being fit even though i try my best and exercise and I am in the basketball team. It felt as though none of the conversations we had had anything positive about me, and always had something to do with my acne, laziness or something bad about me. When I told them while crying(i couldn’t help it) that I don’t want them to talk about it so often because I’m trying and said that it was mean, they were really upset and said that I am oversensitive. And said that it is important to remind me of what to improve on, which I added that they could be more constructive and not mean. I genuinely just wanted to talk to them and not offend them. I said that it hurts coming from them not the comment in general. They wouldn’t let me talk and is spreading false stories around.they said I disrespected them. Am i wrong?And what do y’all think I should do. HAHA IM SO SORRY IM ASKING PEOPLE ON REDDIT TO HELP ME. | WIBTA if i asked my parent this? | NTA |
10usc8g | My ex likes to get around a lot. Before we started dating a few of our friends would make bets on how long he would be with a woman as a joke. They temporarily stopped while we were dating as I was his longest relationship by far but now that we’re broken up and he’s seeing somebody new they’ve started placing bets on how long it’ll last again.I found out about the bet because they asked me if I thought he had changed and how long I thought he would be with his current girlfriend. Somebody told him and his girlfriend that I placed a bet so now she’s mad at me.I’m the only one she keeps picking fights with even though at least 6 other people also placed bets. She thinks I’m jealous and that I’m hoping they’ll break up which isn’t true. Even after I and another friend explained that this is just a running joke in our friendship group she still won’t get over it.My ex knows all about the bets and has always joked about it in the past too. He hasn't really said anything to me about it this time, besides to let me know I wasn't going to win. So… AITA? | AITA for participating in the bet on how long my ex’s new relationship would last? | YTA |
10uu0ad | Please excuse me for any formatting issues. This is my very first post. I have (26/F) and my husband (25/M) moved to our current town a few years ago together. We recently just moved into a very nice apartment with the help of a friend my husband made here (29/M) in July. In Aug that same friend (29/M) asked to crash on our couch until he left for the military, which was about a month out (mid Sept). We agreed because he’s a cool dude and helped us move. A week before his ship date I could tell he was acting differently, almost as if he was extremely stressed. He admitted to me that the idea of joining the military was daunting, and 2-3 days before his ship date he ended up backing out. This was all very understandable to us. I told him I would be scared to a degree as well and that he shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable doing. He then asked us could he stay until early December, to which we agreed. When December came he left to go be with his family for most of the month, but then returned at the end of the month and didn’t say anything about him moving. Only that now he was looking into joining a different branch of the military. This annoyed me because 1) he seems to have forgotten that he was supposed to leave in early December and 2) he never even asked could he stay longer. If he would’ve asked I probably wouldn’t be as upset. January rolls around and he begins to annoy me even more. We live in a 1 bd 1bth apartment, and our bathroom is in our room. He will go in the bathroom for 2 hours to “stretch” leaving us unable to use our own bathroom. We have to knock several times for him to come out. He also took our clothes out the washer and put them on top of the dryer to wash his clothes. Now it is feb and he told my husband that the recruiter is still on leave so he has to wait. At this point I want him gone and to have full use of my apartment. He seems to no longer have any plans of leaving anytime soon ( I’m not too sure this different branch of the military thing will even pan out) and it’s been 5+ months of him sleeping on our couch FOR FREE. Even if he starts the enlistment process it’s going to take at least a month ( just like last time) for him to be shipped out. Would I be the asshole for telling him to leave by the end of the month? (Feb 28th) My issue is that his plans kept changing and now his plans are up in the air. Also that he didn’t even bothered to ask could he stay for the end of December, for any of January, and now seems to have invited himself to stay all of Feb. We’ve allowed him to stay here for 5 months for free because we care about him. He’s been working the entire time so we know he has money for his own place.EDIT: we’ve known him for over a year. He helped us move in July of 2022 and then asked in Aug of 2022 could he crash on our couch until mid September of 2022. It is now Feb 2023 and he is still here with little to no plans of leaving any time soon. Sorry for the lack of explanation. | AITA for wanting my significant other’s friend to leave our home? | NTA |
10ukjor | Ok so to give a little bit of back story, my step mom helped me get a car when I first got my G1 licence. I got the car November 2021, a 2012 Hyundai Elantra priced at 2000$ (got it from a family friend) and it was put under her name because I couldn’t get it insured until my g2. So the quickest way was to put it in her name.My first payment on the car was 1600$ and my step mom helped me pay the rest, this included fixing the car up, safety, plates and other up keep things (total came up to around 7gs)I just recently finished paying off what I owed her in December 2022.. she refuses to put the car in my name when I get my G2 And during the payment process, kept adding on money, doing things to the car without asking me and adding the expenses to my bill, in April of 2022 she demanded 1200$ from me in less then 2 months knowing full well that I only make about 400$ a month or less because I’m in school and can only work weekends. Her justification to this was “well your term was up” but there was never a verbal or written agreement of this She drives it all the time (more then I have and like it’s her own vehicle) and expects me to continue paying insurance, and up keep that she is causing my car to need. Along with letting others drive it I’m starting to get sick and tired of it and I finally lost my shit and let off on her… telling her that she never actually helped me and only caused stress and that I should be allowed my car in my name and to be left to make the decisions on when where and how my car is getting fixed etc …Personally I don’t think I’m in the wrong for losing my shit, but now I’m at a loss of what I can do :/ | AITA for losing it over my car situation | NTA |
10u5n2c | My husband, Jim and I have an almost 3 month old baby boy, Dev. Jim is a perfectionist and lately he's been frustrated because he feels I'm slacking on staying on top of things around the house and tells me there's no excuse for the house to not stay immaculate at all times.Dev is the best baby, but he does not sleep at night. My 3rd trimester was rough, and it's been nearly 6 months since I've slept through the night. Dev is breastfed, so I do all the overnights with him while Jim sleeps, he typically gets 8-10 hours of sleep per night. I also take care of Dev during the day. Jim takes Dev for an hour or so when he gets home and I use that time to try and rush to catch up on chores so Jim and I don't argue.Jim is quick to point out when i don't do something, for ex: in the kitchen I'll wash dishes, clean the stove, wipe counters and table, organize pantry, sweep the floor, but I won't have the energy to mop. Instead of acknowledging all I do around the house, Jim constantly points out what i don't do: I see you can't be bothered to mop the floor. Must be nice to do nothing all day. I wish I could stay home and be lazy. You have no excuse for this! (And it goes like that across all the household chores.)I try to explain to Jim I'm constantly exhausted, I'm dealing with chronic pain issues, ehlers danlos, osteoarthritis, pots, mcas, gastroparesis, and neuropathy. Plus I've struggled on and off for years with anxiety, depression and ptsd. (I have a therapist.) Jim points out that when he's at home he does his share of the chores with no problem and he works full time, so me being home all day means I should be able to do everything just by myself and take the stress off him.When Jim gets mad he gets very snarky too. He'll ask me if I capable of taking care of Dev since I'm obviously inept at taking care of the house. Says he hopes I don't neglect Dev like I neglect my other responsibilities. That he will take Dev and leave if I don't get my act together and start doing better. And it goes on.I finally got fed up and snapped at Jim to shut up and leave me alone. That he gets actual sleep every night and has far more energy than I do. I'm doing my best and I'm sorry it's not good enough, but please leave me alone about it.Jim got upset and accused me of attacking him when he's just trying to help and make sure I don't forget what needs to be done. And he doesn't know if he wants to stay in a relationship with someone who attacks him that way and clearly doesn't care about anything in life.AITA? | AITA for snapping at my husband? | NTA |
10uz109 | Ok so I ( 15m ) was forced into a musical by my brother and mom, but that's a whole story in itself. In this musical there are only 2 people who bring the whole thing down as in profomence and mood of others. Seid people are A and Z (insane coincidence) the only one who matters in this story is A. A for lack of a better term is nuts. The following are a handfull of storys from the cast. 1: She came up to a specific person and started meowing. 2: went up and sat next to a group of about 10 people in the cast and seid " I don't know why no one wants to be my friend " 3: seid to a 14 year old that she had " a vary punchabull face" And lastly, dose anime poses out of nowhere. I also forgot to mention that A is 17 years old but like 5 feet tall. Now here is the part where I think I might be an AH. We were sitting next to each other right before we ran through a song. I also normally where contacts but wore my glasses today. This is the convocation that transpired.A: I didn't know you wore glasses Me : yeah I was just too lazy to put my contacts in today A: yeah its amazing how glasses can make someone look less Homophobic Me: ( extremely confused ) what is that suppose to mean? A: well you always where trucker hats, you're wearing camo and you have blond hair.Me: ( takes of hat ) no I have brown hair. And-A: well its kind of blond.Me: no its not!Then the song started and the conversation ended. This stuck with me and it made me more and more angry. Partly because I am currently in the closest about being BI and secondly the audacity of her just assuming that of me. Practice ended about an hour later and while waiting for my mom to pick me and my brother and my friend up, this friend ( who was the 14 year old who's face is apparently so punchabull ) was talking to me and I was ranting about A because of what she seid. My friend told me I should go tell her off and eventually I did. I found her with about 5 other cast mates in the back room of the stage. I went up to her and seid " hey A, for the record I find it vary offensive that you would put someone into that stereotype without even knowing anything about them". A friend of mine was there and she was sitting next to A and started telling me to come here. I just seid. " nope my mom is here, I gotta go" and left. Now that it's seid and done I'm starting to feel bad because i don't know her ether, or maybe she ment it a different way. Idk maybe it's because I'm non confrontational and I'm just not used to fighting back. Idk reddit. AITA? | AITA for getting angry at someone who called me Homophobic because of my looks? | NTA |
10uim7b | I feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy, but I feel like I didn't do anything wrong, just need some outside opinions. Sorry if this is long and drawn out, also for any formatting issues, on mobile.So, one of my good friends' wedding was at the end of August 22. It was a quickly planned wedding (started planning around late February/early March, as far as I know). I was asked to be a groomsmen, but then in like April or May, he advised us that we have to pay around $250 each for a tuxedo but just to rent it. I thought I was able to cover mine, but I realized over time that I wouldn't be able to as I have been basically living paycheck to paycheck, even after switching jobs in May, I have a little more wiggle room but still having to catch up on bills and whatnot, I'm still running tight on finances, on top of my fiance leaving her job for personal reasons.I told my friend in late June/early July that I'm not going to be able to afford the rental, he said he understood and said he would try to help me. I just want to add that he was fired from his job back in February, then picked up another job, granted it was lower paying, but he was laid off from that job at the start of July, so he hasn't had a full time job since then. I didn't want to burden him with trying to help me, so I just advised I would still be at the wedding, just not a groomsmen. About a week or so after that, both him and his wife-to-be messaged me, basically guilt tripping me about coming to the wedding to be a groomsmen. I got annoyed and told them fine, I'll try my best. I went to get measured and paid a $20 deposit, but as the next few weeks progressed, more things came up for me, so I definitely was not able to afford it and I told him so. He told me that one of our other friends, the Best Man, would pay for the remaining balance of my rental. I felt bad and told him not to do that, but he insisted and said our friend is doing it for him as a wedding gift, so I understood. After the ceremony, we took pictures of everyone and then did the reception, which started around 5:30-6pm. I left around 7:30pm. as my knee was killing me from a recent injury and was just super exhausted. I said my goodbyes and thought everything was OK. Then the next morning he sent me a message telling me that he felt disrespected since I left early, and some people were upset by it, and told me to "man it up" about my issues (there were other issues that I explained to him but I don't want to explain here). I got pissed about that, and explained myself my side of things, then told him I think it would be best if we took a break from our friendship for a while, so I can get my stuff straightened out and he can as well. I haven't got a reply and my fiance is on my side. No one is telling me otherwise, but I just feel bad and want to know if I was really the jerk for leaving early and worh everything leading up to the event. So, AITA? | AITA for leaving a friend's wedding a bit early? | YTA |
10uv922 | I (22m) called my grandma this morning to wish her a happy birthday while I was out getting my taxes filed. We traded the usual joke we do every year that she's just turning 40 instead of her actual age.We talked for a bit, and I noticed that she didn't sound like she was feeling well. I asked if she was okay, and she told me that she was feeling sick and that we could just wait to see if she's feeling better tomorrow, THEN go out to celebrate her birthday. This was at about 10am. I told her I loved her, that I hope she feels better soon, and went home.She called me at about 7:30pm and went on a rant, saying that I "blew her off" and that she'd been waiting for me to show up to her house so we could have a pie she was going to bake. I didn't say anything (I have trouble speaking up during arguments, and I was really confused), and she continued, talking about how she's done so much stuff for me and for other people but that she's "done doing shit for anybody" and passive-aggressively told me to have a good night.At that point, I was angry instead of confused, and I hung up. Then I sent her a text, saying "you told me you weren't feeling well and that we could celebrate tomorrow. I'm not a fucking mind reader".She's responded, but I still haven't looked at it.I'm still just so confused and upset because I hate fighting with her, but I have no idea what she might’ve said during our earlier phone call that was supposed to imply that she still wanted me to visit her today, but with just how angry she was, I guess it's possible I may have missed some kind of hint.AITA?EDIT: I read her responses. She's convinced that because I promised her THE OTHER DAY that I would visit her for her birthday (before she got sick and we had our conversation this morning), that means I should have visited her regardless, and then went on to say that she's "fucking done" and to "not bother" calling her. | AITA For Not Going To My Grandmother's For Her Birthday? | NTA |
10v3ld9 | My (29m) mother died in September 2021, it was all very sudden and a huge shock for all of us. She was only 56. Her death has hit me very hard because I was already in a depression before she died and her death obviously didn’t help. She was the only family member that I felt close with. I‘m not particularly close with my sister (32f) and very disconnected with my father (56m). I‘m slowly realizing that he was borderline abusive in my childhood with his huge anger he always expressed towards me. He‘s also not very emotional except anger, very contrary to me. My mother mentioned a few times throughout her life that she’d like the idea of her ashes being scattered in the Grand Canyon when she dies. Where I live, the family usually doesn’t receive tje ashes after cremation, they need to be buried. We managed to get a portion of the ashes though. So now the family has organized a huge family trip to the US that‘s supposed to last 3 weeks. The US are on the other side of the Atlantic so it‘s a very expensive and stressfull journey. They all don’t mind because they enjoy such holidays which I really don’t. I‘m never longer away than a week, and even that is rare.At first I obviously accepted to join, with my mother in mind. But now that the trip is comming closer and closer my fear of this trip is getting bigger and bigger. I‘m literally still afraid of my father even though his behaviour towards me changed a lot when I moved out and started my own life. We have respect for each other, but I honestly don’t feel love towards him and we never talked about any emotions at all and he never expressed much understanding towards my emotions that I mostly kept hidden (he doesn’t know I have depression and tried to hide that as much as possible, I don’t feel comfortable sharing it with him and I never thought it would be a good idea, same for my sister). My family organised it economically so i‘ll mostly share hotelrooms with my father which is terrifying to me. For no other reason than the past. He doesn’t get angry anymore since my mother passed. I‘m a homeboy and my privacy, my living space and my close friends are the most important things in my life that give me strength and help me through my chronic depression. I‘d be disconnected from that for 3 weeks, no escape, in a very stressful environment to open a closing wound of losing my mother. Now I want to tell them that I won’t join them after all. Maybe it‘s weak? They surely won’t like it. I‘d leave the memory of my mother to them and opt out because of my own emotions and disregard my fathers and sisters. WIBTA? | WIBTA if I won‘t be there when my family scatters my mothers ashes? | NTA |
10uiir4 | My (27F) and my boyfriend (30M) go to a local strip club for date night sometimes. It’s a really fun chill atmosphere (jazzy lounge vibes not a club) and the girls are super pretty and nice. I’m bisexual so it’s just a great time for everyone involved. I have a close friend group of other queer women (25F and 24F) and when I told them about how great this place is they really wanted to check it out. We’ve been tentatively planning a “girls night out” to the club for some time. It came up with my partner today and when I said “girls night” he said “oh so I can’t some?” And got really offended. I was totally shocked because, while he has spent some time around this group, I kind of assumed it would be understood that he shouldn’t go. I tried to explain to him that not all women feel comfy expressing their sexuality around other men and I felt that his presence would throw off the vibe. Like if we go, it’s more of a fun horny but having him there it would be too genuinely sexual. He just couldn’t get that my friends wouldn’t feel comfortable with him there. I wouldn’t go to a strip club if it was just him and his friends (unless someone else brought their gf maybe). I wasn’t expecting to have to explain why women aren’t comfortable around men and I did it poorly. I feel bad and I could have chosen my words better. He ended up really hurt and upset. I apologized but he still is genuinely mad that he doesn’t get to come to girls night at the strip club. Am I the asshole for excluding him? Tl;Dr I told my boyfriend he couldn’t come to girls night at the strip club with my friends and he got genuinely hurt. AITA? | AITA for telling my boyfriend he can’t come to a strip club with me and my friends? | NTA |
10v01e9 | I was getting ready for high school this morning. I usually eat breakfast, get dressed and leave. I have a schedule to leave my house to get to high school at 8:25-8:30 every weekday \[The drive to school takes around 10 minutes and class starts at 8:45\]. Only issue is that me and my family usually wake up around 8AM, most of the time I have only 45 minutes to get ready and get to school.At first, 45 minutes sounds like enough time for me to get to school considering I get driven there. Only issue is I am slow at getting my clothes on. Usually buttoning up my shirt takes me longer than it should \[I don't know why I struggle with buttoning up my shirt's buttons\].I made myself a coffee. I decided to get dressed as fast as I could while my coffee cools off \[I was dressing up quickly so I could drink my coffee and get to school on time\]. By the time I got dressed there was probably roughly around five minutes before I had to leave, to get to school on time. I ran to the kitchen, got my coffee and attempted to drink it quickly. My mum was in the kitchen and started to talk to me. I quickly put my coffee down so that I could talk to my mum before leaving. Since I quickly put down the cup of coffee, it spilled out of the cup and got on my shirt. My mum instantly got angry at me for getting coffee on my shirt. She demanded I change my shirt and leave the house to get to school.I changed my shirt. All I had to do now was put on my shoes and go to school. When I finished putting my shoes on it was exactly on time to leave. My mum has this idea that since I leave right on the last minute of my schedule, I will be late. She sometimes gets mad at me for being slow and leaving right on the last minute of my "time to leave".Since my mum was angry, she went on a rant about how I was too slow and did not care. "You are good at using your fingers for gaming but for doing stuff" \[By "Stuff" she meant "Daily Tasks such as getting dressed for School\]. Then after my mum went on her daily "You only care about video games rant" she proceeded to call me a "narcissist".After my mum called me a "narcissist" I laughed my head off. Not a sarcastic laugh but a full "laugh out loud". It was not on purpose, I accidentally laughed. Reason I laughed is because of how my mum completely missed using the word "narcissist". How am I a narcissist for taking a while to put my clothes on?My mum got infuriated at me for laughing. Yelling from a different room about how I have a "bad mouth" for laughing at her. I left the house and went off to high school. My dad seemed to be on "my side" claiming that my mum "Attacks people but then acts like the victim when the person defends themselves" \[By "attack" he means verbally not physically\]. I wondered if I was being a asshole since I got my mum angry.AITA for laughing at my mum, with the context provided? | AITA for laughing at my mum? | NTA |
10v1h6a | Update: after reading a few comments I realize I overreacted. We did enjoy the rest of our time and saying I wouldn't do it ever again was probably not a good way to go. I will apologize to him and well talk about what was really going on. Like a couple of you mentioned it's possible that there was a bit more to his frustration and well figure it out. Thanks for the advice. I was feeling really hurt and unappreciated at the time. I see now how he must have felt, I was only seeing from my POV and hadn't thought about his. An apology with him will likely go a long way to fixing things. But I really don't think I'll be planning another trip like this for a while. Someone pointed out our time differences and normally that's not an issue. My anxiety played a huge role in the sleep thing. And my explosive reaction to his comment. I do love him and we usually get along great. And maybe I should have tried harder to stay up longer. Thanks again everyone. I (35f) and my husband (37m) recently had a weekend getaway that we won in a raffle. I noticed he was struggling with stress with our four kids and decided to use our prize. So I secretly set up with family for them to take the kids and took off some vacation time for the occasion. Then the weekend before I surprised him with it. He didn't really seem excited but he's not ever really been one to show excitement about things so I wasn't upset by that. The problem began the first day we were there. I work 12 hour shifts and have major anxiety issues. So the day before we left I hardly slept and got up at 1pm, 5 hours before my shift, worked a whole 12 hours, came home helped pack the kids up and get them where they were supposed to go. Then we stopped and got dinner. We brought it to the place we were staying and ate. After we ate I got super tired. By this point I hadn't slept in 29 hours. I asked if I could take a nap and he said yes. After a 4 hour nap I got up and went to hang out with him and he was being quiet and didn't want to talk. That's when I asked him what his deal was. He said he was upset that I hadn't been spending time with him and I got super mad at him. I told him I regret making these plans, and let me just say it was a serious pain to get rid of four kids for two days, and I would never be doing that again. He got up and walked outside for a bit. I went and took a shower and he was back by the time I got out. He'd calmed down by then and because I didn't want to spend the rest of our time fighting I just let it go for the time being. When we went to get our kids he said he enjoyed the time and wanted to do it again sometime and I said I wasn't interested. I told him he could set something up for himself but I wouldn't have anything to do with it and that it was totally unfair how he acted about me taking a nap after all the effort I put into making it happen. (I had a hard time getting work to give me the time off) and he's been really quiet since then. I don't think I did anything wrong or am wrong for not wanting to do it again. So AITA??Edit to add: there was a little more to our argument than just that but I feel it's not necessary to post. And I don't have enough room to totally explain how hard it was to make this work out. We've been on a bit of a rough patch and I was hoping so so hard that this would help and the first thing we did together was fight. It just doesn't make me want to do it again, at least not anytime soon. Maybe I shouldn't have said never, but I was hurt and angry and I felt my efforts were totally unappreciated. | AITA for telling my husband I wouldn't be making nice plans for us ever again? | ESH |
10uj5xb | Some backstory first, I travel a lot for work and this happened while I was away for about a week. My girlfriend has social anxiety and recently had a medical incident that require some medication that she is now withdrawaling from, this can cause some increased irritation. My old FB picture was of the two of use but was about 2yrs old and I've changed my facial hair and lost some weight since then.Now that you've got that information here's the event. While away for work someone took a photo of the group and I thought I looked good in it. We work outside and I had been wearing a helmet so my hair was pressed flat and not how I usually wear it. I sent her the photo and she said it was "nice" but got mad at me about not wearing sunglasses in the picture to avoid snow blindness, she got very angry about this and said some mean things out of nowhere. I was surprised by this because she isn't normally like that. I managed to settle that over text and went about my day.When I showed the photo to my colleges I got some compliments. So on our lunch break I cropped the photo so it was just me and changed my profile picture, then went back out to work again.Four hours later she texted me saying that she didn't realize I planned to change my profile picture. She was upset and said that it wasn't a good enough photo to be a public profile picture, and that I violated the trust in our relationship by not going to her about it first.She went on to tell me how she showed the picture to her mother and some of her female friends and they all said it wasn't a nice photo. She said that her social anxiety was causing her to get really worked up about how the photo was public. I felt really shitty because I actually really liked the picture, so hearing that hurt. I also felt bad about upsetting her. In the end I spoke with her on the phone after work and she was crying. She apologized for being mean about it but stood by what she said and explained how the medication withdrawal was taking a toll.She also said that I should have know better then to change from a picture of us to one of just me after we had an argument earlier that day (I never really saw it as an argument).In the end I tried to comfort her but she is still upset and feels guilty about being mean. I'm heading home today so I'm sure we'll talk about it in person. But was I an asshole for changing my profile picture without talking to her about it? | AITA for changing my FB profile picture without talking to my girlfriend first? | NTA |
10us893 | something tells me I’m TA but also not so the only way I’ll know is through the help of strangers on the internet.I’m a 16YR boy, turning 17. My sister, who is the same age (we’re twins) has her own room, bigger than mine. we grew up sharing everything, including clothes, bathrooms, and bedrooms. I recently had gotten my own bedroom no longer than about a year ago.I’m assuming she’s not use to the whole “separate” rooms thing still because she’ll still go into my room and take my clothes. My room is tiny compared to hers so I got my own bathroom as well so she’ll go in there and use my stuff. I brought this up to my mom and she said that she is still adjusting to the change. the only issue I’m having is the fact that she’s ALMOST 17, she’s not 15 anymore so shouldn’t she know how to ask? I talked to her as well and I said, “Sister, I would appreciate it if you could ask to borrow my stuff, especially my clothes.” I don’t want to sound mean but she is bigger than me, not overweight but a couple sizes up (I’m a L and she’s a 2X) so she’ll end up stretching my clothes and I have a difficult time finding stuff in my size because it is either such a common size or the stuff is genuinely ugly. She said that it’s because she is “fat” and I’m discriminating against her. I said that wasn’t the case and that she is welcome to borrowing my stuff but I would appreciate it if she could ask. She ran to my mom crying and now my mom thinks i’m the bad guy. I don’t even bother bringing it up to my dad because knowing him, he doesn’t know anything based on this matter. so, AITA? | AITA for asking my sister to not touch my stuff without my permission? | NTA |
10uth2n | A bit of context: wife is busy trying to advance her career, I have been nothing but supportive because I believe in her and she deserves to see her dreams come true. I take care of a large chunk of things at home (all the cooking, dishes, cleaning, chores, errands). I also help with work-related things, since we are in similar fields. There is one thing where I do not have acting power: when I moved in with her, she did not want to modify the lease so I am not officially on it, and I never had any contact with the landlady. My wife rented here for 13 years, and she always deals with the owner (who is a very nice, kind and polite person who takes care of the property when needs arise). However, she does not want to "disturb" the landlady when house maintenance is needed. Case in point, there is a leak from the upstairs bathroom (above the dining room) that has been going on for two years now: the upper part of a wall is bulging, and in the past months it got worse as water occasionally drips from a ceiling lamp, and from some small holes that appeared on the ceiling. I kindly asked my wife to contact the landlady and let her know about this, several times, and every time she would tell me: "Now I am busy but after this "*insert deadline*" I will call her". After the deadline, I would gently inquire with her and she would find another excuse. I do not feel I put pressure, as I accept her explanation and just wait. I offered to get in touch with the landlady and handle it myself, but my wife refused it. I have no skills to fix it, and even so or if I pay a contractor, we need the approval of the owner anyway.Fast forward to today: wife is hunting for jobs, with two interviews next month, so I should know better to be careful, however as we were taking a stroll in the hills, I thought about the water leakage (few days ago we placed cups under the holes cause the dripping is more frequent). I thought we talked in January, and she told me that in February she will contact the landlady but I was uncertain (after we had a similar conversation in November and she promised end of December). I asked her "I seem to remember you telling me that in February you will contact the landlady". Reply: "No, I told you March or April". Me: "Oh, I am sorry, I remembered it wrong. Ok, March or April is fine". To me the conversation ended there, but I realized that she was giving me the silence treatment. After some brewing, she lashed out, at first trying to get back at me and point out my "poor planning and communication on the itinerary of our walk today", and shaming me how "I withheld information", and then she got pissed on "how in your right mind would you think to ask such a question, knowing how much stress I am under? Why would you put this pressure on me?". She was enraged but I thought I did not deserve a scolding.AITA to deserve such a reaction for asking a question concerning house repair I am worried about, even though my wife is under pressure? | AITA for asking a clarification question to my wife regarding house repair during a stressful period without realizing the pressure she would feel? | NTA |
10uinvc | I woke up this morning to find my fridge door all the way open. Everything in the fridge was room temperature, so the damn thing was open for hours. This isn’t the first time this has happened… in the last 3 months, this is the fifth time I’ve found the fridge open with all of the food spoiled in it. In total I’ve thrown away a couple hundred dollars worth of groceries. Seeing the fridge open yet again, instantly triggered me. I yelled out “Are you fucking kidding me” and slammed the fridge door shut. I opened my roommates door and told him. His response sent me over the edge. He responded with a sly “It wasn’t me”. Side note, I went out to eat last night and I’m 100% certain I didn’t open the fridge I came home and went straight to sleep. When I brought this up he replied with: “Well, before you go throwing everything out it wasn’t open that long. An hour tops. It’s not like I did it on purpose.” I was livid. I slammed my door and went to my room to gather myself.After a couple minutes…. I came out to throw away all of my food yet again. The butter was so warm it was practically melted… open an hour my ass. The fridge was open for hours. I slammed all the food into a trash bag and handed him the butter to call his bluff. All this time, I had no idea his girlfriend was in his room. I yelled at a 30 year old grown ass man in front of his girlfriend. I’m tired of wasting food and money | AITA for snapping on my roommate in front of his girlfriend? | NTA |
10u9k0y | My husband told me that he wants to run a disco-themed party from 10am Friday morning until 4pm Saturday afternoon in our house and people have to pay for invites to come, he said he'd be getting a good Spotify/Alexa/YouTube playlist and bulk-buying food, be it Pringles, Lay's, WISE chips, M&M's, Skittles, cakes, nachos, burritos etc. and it'd be a great idea.He said all the money raised would be split 50:50 between a local Down's Syndrome charity and an autism charity in the area.I told him there and then this was NOT acceptable in our house and that if he wanted to do it, why not hire a venue like a warehouse or AirBNB apartment?But he insisted, it's a house party and said Dad did this in their house, when my husband was about 11 years old and that Dad had locals attending and the money was donated to a cancer charity back then and he felt he had to copy this; Dad raised $5,000 back then in 1995.I feel very hinky about the idea, but he's insistent we try it.I'm a mom to a 13-year-old autistic daughter who'd feel frightened AF if she saw this as she's not used to big parties.I've told him no, again and again, but AITA here for telling him no house parties? | AITA for telling my husband his disco party in our house is a no-go? | NTA |
10urwol | I am F 36, my brother is 38, my sister is 40, my dad is 72. When I was 26-27 I pitched the idea of a family vacation multiple times. Everyone was on board (including my mom who has since passed) but my sister couldn’t afford it at the time so we didn’t go since not everyone was able to make it. That was fine with me. In 2019 I did a road trip for 4 days just me and my dad (my mom passed the year before). My brother and sister had other travel plans around the same time so they didn’t come. My sister and I have road tripped just the two of us before as well. Yesterday my sister mentioned she and my dad were thinking of doing a 2 week road trip this summer and I thought that was awesome, I was happy that my dad would be getting out of the house and having another adventure since my mom passed. Today I found out that it’s actually all three of them - brother, sister, and dad - that are planning to go. I couldn’t help but feel hurt and left out. They know I work a job that will not allow me much time off in the summer and my schedule doesn’t come out until 6 weeks in advance. They didn’t even ask me to go. I was fine with just two of them going but it hurts when it is everyone but me, considering in the past we didn’t do family vacations when not everyone could make it. When my dad told me they were all going he could sense my mood changed from being happy for them to hurt and upset. He said he thought I would be fine with it and I pointed out that years ago we wanted to go on vacation but didn’t because it wouldn’t be fair to exclude someone but to go ahead and do what they want. He said they just wouldn’t go anymore and that it’s off the table if it makes me feel like this. I’m wondering if I’m the asshole - am I being childish? Am I too old to feel hurt by being excluded like this? I don’t want to prevent my dad from having an adventure. Should I just try to get over it? Also, it would be difficult to reschedule for a time that would work for all of us - my sister is a teacher and has summers/holidays off where I work a job where summer/holidays are the hardest to get off. | AITA for being upset that my family wants to go on vacation without me? | NTA |
10uvfq6 | \*Throwaway account\* I (21 F) used to have a good relationship with my bio dad (48 M) up until around when I turned 12. He and my mom split when I was 1 because my dad was an idiot, and could barely hold down a stable job (he was 28 and had had at least 15-20 jobs at that point). My mom and stepdad married when I was 4, and I’ve lived with them my whole life. He's done a lot of stuff that I haven't agreed with over the years I've grown up, but it's too much for me to even put in here.In 2021, I decided to move in with him after college to get some life experience outside of my hometown. He never maintained his vehicle that I was regularly using, and expected me to pay for it if I thought there was something wrong with it. He gaslit me, and told me nothing was wrong with it anyways. In the end, it turned out I was right, and I could have ended up in a serious accident because of him. I also developed anxiety over this that he said wasn't a big deal.Fast forward to last night. I unfollowed him a couple of years ago on Facebook because I was sick of seeing his constant posts (I didn't block him because I did that before and he kept bugging me to unblock him). But from time to time, I'll decide to search his page up and just see what crap he's been saying on there lately. As soon as I start scrolling through his feed, I see post upon post of right-wing media that he's been sharing. There's everything from homophobia and transphobia to anti vax/anti mask posts to anti-women's rights (all things I'm in support of, and he was saying it was bullshit).To say I was shocked was an understatement. I knew he was a very political person because that's all he would talk about on our phone calls. He always said he was anti-right wing and he thought they were stupid. He was also super pro-vaccine all throughout the pandemic, and seemingly supported women's rights. But now, from what I'm seeing, he's the complete opposite. I assume it's from the fact that he is very chronically online, and only gets his news from Facebook and Instagram. When I messaged him and asked him about it, he immediately attacked me for getting upset over it, and told me I was stupid for not agreeing. In conclusion, AITA for not wanting to talk to him anymore? I feel like talking to him stresses me out more than I need, but my mom says that I have to let it go and come to terms with the fact that he's just an idiot and will never change. I feel like I would have a lot less stress if we stop talking, but I also kind of feel bad that I think this way. I wouldn't be losing much since I see my stepdad as a real father anyways. Any opinion is appreciated. | AITA for not wanting to talk to my dad anymore? | NTA |
10usefe | So, me (25f) and my ex-girlfriend (25f) recently split up. She lives with her roommate, I’ll call him Kevin (27m) since two years ago, and I am living in a different city. Sometime ago my father brought me two boxes of hotpockets (24 in total) from the US ( relevant, they don’t sell them in my country, and I love them because they are a quick breakfast). I forgot them in her fridge while ex and I were still together and went on a trip. He wrote asking permission to eat one of them. Not one box, one sandwich. And I said yes. Fast forward, ex and I split up, somewhat amicably, and in the process of getting our stuff back I go to her house and she goes “Hey, so the thing is that Kevin ate half of them” a whole box. I was livid with rage because he had no right and I went up and demanded that he pay me back, but not with money but with a new box, because you can’t get them here easily. He acts rude as shit, mocks me and calls me insults and names. I go downstairs and ex says: I will make him pay you back and hold him accountable. I said ok, but I want the box, not the money. She said it’s fair. Cue 3 weeks later and radio silence about the issue. I ask her what happened and she said it’s not her problem, and that I still had stuff of hers to give her back ( she also has some of my stuff). I said, I am not giving you back your stuff unless he pays me my stuff; and that since those things might get a while, I was happy with the order confirmation. She said that why I were holding her stuff hostage if it was not her problem, and that I was an asshole. I, however said that he does not respect me and would not pay me back out of respect, but he cares about her, so it’s my insurance that I would get my stuff back. He also owes me gas money. She then tells me that I am manipulating her and blocks me out of everything, and just tells me to speak to him. I do, he is rude about it, and said that he will humor my “temper tantrum” and pay me, but today he just sends me some money ( not even the total of what he owes me), and the Walmart price of the box, not even including the shipping, saying that he won’t stress himself or bother himself because of my pettiness. So AITA for asking to be paid in species and involving my ex in this? | AITA for making my ex’s roommate pay for my Hot Pockets? | YTA |
10ulsv4 | I(33F) have chronic, treatment-resistant depression. During a bad spell over the summer, I lost my job and my home. My sister asked our grandmother(88F) to give me a place to stay, and she agreed. I was surprised, but I moved into her outbuilding at the end of August.I had a car loan I obviously couldn't pay and planned to let the car be repossessed; she thought this was a waste and wanted to make the payments herself if I'd sign the title over once it was paid off. She also fed me, drove me twenty miles into town as needed, and paid full price for my first local psychiatric appointment.But: when my food stamps came (which I only qualified for if we didn't share food, as her income was too high), she expected me to buy both our groceries to repay some of her expenses and was angry when I refused to break the law. When I declined to give her access to my medical records, she threatened to evict me. When I told her a talk radio show she had playing in the car was lying, she told me that I was a non-taxpaying leech who shouldn't have political opinions. (She did allow me to vote in November.) She was also dismayed that I couldn't just call up HUD and get Section 8 to pay rent to her, and she disliked the delay in energy assistance.By November, she felt I should be working. (I had a few hallucinations in October and was less sure.) She called up the only restaurant in ten miles and explained my history ("she has problems, but she's a hard worker"; "she's fine as long as someone makes sure she takes her meds") and got angry when I overheard this and chose not to apply, though I did apply elsewhere.Just before Thanksgiving, the psychiatrist offered me a place in a study for a novel treatment. I felt hopeful for a moment and asked if I'd be able to stay long enough to take part. She said no, I was taking advantage of her. A church friend said it was elder financial abuse that the friend, a social worker, would report if I didn't start paying rent in labor.I knew that earlier in the year she'd considered renting a room to a young distant cousin who couldn't afford what she'd asked for. She'd offered $100 off the rent in exchange for sixty hours a month of labor to teach him a lesson about work. Between that and her accusation, I said I'd ride along next time she went to the city and leave instead.Before I did, my grandmother told me I owed her $2500. I was out of her will and she wouldn't help me again, as she'd learned that I was looking into SSDI, which (2 Thessalonians 3:10) was an immoral, parasitic lifestyle. I was just like her son's ex, who'd abused tenant law to go years without paying my grandmother rent before eviction. I must not want to get well if I wouldn't stay for the new treatment. Etc.I'm living with a relative in another city now and trying to find the money to file for bankruptcy. I want to discharge the debt to her along with the rest. Would treating her like an ordinary creditor make me an asshole? | WIBTA: Discharging a debt to my grandmother in bankruptcy | NTA |
10ujx7b | My (31F) brother (26M) and SIL (25F) rescued a dog in Oct 2022. This was an emotional purchase since SIL previous dog got put down after attacking my nephew (2M) twice within a short period. The adoption was a few days after they asked me for money for groceries, 2 days later sent me a photo of adopting her, only to ask for money again couple days later. Since this occurred I went to LC to NC bc I realized all I am to them is an ATM and therapist. They tried to hide the new dog from my parents finding out knowing they were gonna shit for this. Then when it got out she put a FB post up sharing the new addition and welcoming her to her forever home. For context my SIL is the type to put everything on Facebook, you wanna know how she is feeling or which side of the toilet bowl she peed on this morning just look at her post. This past weekend my fiancé showed me her newest post that said they needed to find a new home for the dog and I was livid. In our immediate family group chat I asked them about giving the dog up and explained that rescue dog isn’t a toy and once you’re bored with it you can just toss it aside. My SIL then sent this long ass reply talking about how my nephews safety comes first, if I want to know about her life come ask her individually, and that if I know anyone who wants a great dog to message her. She also called my brother out for not training her due to being unemployed and since she is doing everything plus working 40hrs a week it’s just too much. My brother is a whole other story and I’ll happily tell y’all more if you want. Here is where I think I’m the AH, I replied saying i don’t need to ask her about her life bc I can just read her Facebook for an update. Then I called her out saying it’s rich my nephews safety is a priority now but before it took him to get bitten twice and potentially police involved to put her dog down. I then told her if she needs this to continue her soapbox and then screenshot the convo to play the victim then by all means. I thanked her for the baby shower gift (I’m 35wks) and told her to have a wonderful day. Within seconds my brother called me yelling at me to stop, my dad told me to cut the bullshit. My fiancé and mom agree with what I said but said I went for the jugular. So now I’m the bad guy in everyone’s eyes. So AITA? | AITA for calling my SIL about giving up her rescue dog? | ESH |
10tm226 | I (45F) am facing major surgery on my heel, ankle and Achilles tendon if physical therapy does not improve my current pain levels. I have what my podiatrist has described as the “worst calcifications” he has seen on my Achilles. There is a very high chance that with or without the surgery, I will lose my ability to walk. Surgery makes it less likely, but I will walk worse than normal, just hopefully without excruciating pain. The issue is causing my Achilles to not stretch properly and literally rip the top of my heel bone off slowly. Any course my doctor and I take, I will lose at least some function of my foot.The calcifications are 100% a direct result of tendon lengthening surgery my mother made me get at six to “fix” flat feet. The flat feet never caused me any issues. My mother claims I walked on the outside edges of my feet, but regardless it worked for me. In some ways I feel like my mom wanted me to “fix” the flat feet because they did make it difficult for me to wear “girly” shoes and they didn’t look “normal” and I was a major tomboy.But that’s beside the point. When I told my mom the doctor said my current issues were a direct result of the previous surgery, she got offended and said I was blaming her. She thinks it was a jerk move to bring the surgery 40 years ago up at all, even to my doctor. I think it was fairly important for my doctor to know and I was simply stating a fact to her that had the lengthening of the tendon not been done, I would not have the calcification to the extent I have it. Am I an AH for telling my mom (not in these exact words) that her decision 40 years ago is causing me to now face potentially losing my ability to walk?To be clear, I don’t think my mom is necessarily an AH for choosing the surgery back then. I do doubt her given reasons (photos and my medical records don’t fully support her claims, they paint a less severe picture), but I’m sure she made the best decision for how she felt about it. | AITA: I told my mom the major surgery I’m facing at 45 is a direct result of surgery she made me get at six. | NTA |
10uwwmh | Im 29F dog sitting for my sister 32 while she and her husband 35 are on vacation for two weeks. I agreed to dog sit cause my home life is bad and I wanted a break from it. Sister isn’t paying me. She left chicken breasts and hamburger meat in the fridge. She didn’t have much vegetables other than some carrots, celery, and tomatoes. She has some rice and sandwich bread. I’ve been making myself chicken and rice or hamburger meat with rice everyday. I don’t have a car so I can’t go to the grocery store. Her dog doesn’t do much. He’s a pug, walking him is easy and feeding him the same. I do go outside with him in the afternoon to play with him. He mostly chases me since he doesn’t know how to fetch.When sister left she left her house a mess. I cleaned the living room, mopped and swept the kitchen and vacuumed her house. I’ve been maintaining the guests bathroom clean since I’m using it. I washed some of the hers and her kids clothes and was putting them away. Going to put the clothes in her closet I saw that her husband had taken a shower left his underwear outside of the shower and the toilet wasn’t flushed. I feel like an ah for not cleaning that up or flushing the toilet. I like to have my space clean and everyone knows this about me. If I go to someone’s house I usually help clean cause I can’t stand seeing mess. But I do know that sometimes with kids it’s difficult and my sister has 3 kids a 10 & 3 year old including her husband 35. He doesn’t help with the house chores cause him working is enough when sister works as well. Anyway sister didn’t tell me to clean her house I’m doing it cause I can’t sit and watch tv or work on my stuff while I feel dirt under my slippers. AITA for not helping sister ? Every time I think about cleaning her bathroom I recall her husband saying that my sister serving food to his sisters husband was wrong and overstepping and sister as his wife shouldn’t be doing that for other married men except him. I’ve been purposely leaving his clothes as they were piled on a chair instead of putting it away like I did with the kids clothes. AITA? | AITA for not cleaning the bathroom? | NTA |
10tnmts | I'm 23 and my niece is 14. Last year, my brother and SIL moved her to private school since she was getting bullied and she'd gone from an A to a F student. But even a year in, she was still failing. I knew what she was going through, I'd had some traumatic experiences from my first boss. And even when I quit, PTSD from that cost me my next job too.One day she called me upset about it, and I told her I could relate. My first boss was a terrible "bully" who really hurt and scared me, (understatement but I had to keep it PG) and for years after I quit I'd be as upset as if it had been yesterday. I'd spend my nights wondering if he was right, or I deserved it somehow. I asked if that's how she felt. She said yeah, and she really wanted to know how to make it stop. I told her that I started seeing him as dead to me. I'd never have to see him again. For all I knew, he might really be dead. But it didn't matter; in my heart he's been dead for a long time. She said she didn't know how to do that, they literally aren't dead. I said that this might sound a little woo-woo but there was an idea my therapist had, that really helped me, burning things that held bad memories. She wanted to try, and my brother said it was fine with him.So she put everything that reminded her of the bullies into a box. And if it was online, she sent me a link and I would print it out.Then one evening, she went through her box at my place, by my fire pit, and we talked a lot about each thing and the memories she needed to get off her chest before she burned it. Afterwards, I read a bit of writing that I'll share here for context later .. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. All the universe gives us, it takes back in time. You've been given pain you didn't deserve, and you've been carrying it with you ever since. It's time to let go. This box, where you've gathered your pain, is but ash now. The wind will scatter it, till no trace is left. Let us lay (bullies names) to rest in your heart. Let this be the last their names are spoken, if that is your wish. That night, she thanked me for it all, and it had obviously been really cathartic. She also asked me if she could keep what I wrote, and I said yeah. She told a few friends at school about what we did, and the school administration heard and got concerned, some of it got taken out of context. The school called her mom (my sister in law) and she went through her things and found the writing I did, and she called me, literally accusing me of doing witchcraft, which I honestly started laughing at because if I was a witch I wouldn't be so broke. She was furious and said I was making jokes when I'd really overstepped, not being her parent, and it was totally inappropriate of me to give the advice "they're dead to me" to a kid about other kids. My brother agreed with her.AITA for the advice I gave, and was I overstepping?Edit... I was not expecting to have to explain this in the year 2023 but... Can we all please at least agree that1. Witches who can do death spells are some fictional Harry Potter style shit, they're not real. No disrespect to people who practice spirituality / wicca / etc, but that's not what we're talking about here, the kind of "witchcraft" my SIL accused me of doing was the "Evil hag curses children with death" sort that only exists in storybooks. 2. Even if there was such a thing as a real witch who could kill with their mind, I am not one, and I am not trying to be one. I said this as a joke at first, but seriously... If I was a witch, I'd be casting some spells to magic my bills away, not some little kids!! 3. I find it fucking ridiculous that I have to explain this to anyone born after the year 1650. I'm not gonna argue any more in the comments about whether I'm a witch. I'm fuckin obviously not, and I'm not trying to play Salem Witch Trial Simulator with any more crazies today! | AITA for my advice to my niece about bullies? My brother and sister in law are furious. | NTA |
10v0mxt | Hi y’all, throwaway because I’m just curious what you guys think. My (23m) ex and I (19m) used to go out together maybe once a week or so. At the time I worked 30 plus hours and went to school virtually given it was peak COVID. He went to school but only took a single class every semester and did doordash maybe twice a week for some income. He lived in New Jersey and I live in New York. The drive was usually around 35 minutes. Middle of our relationship he kept complaining I didn’t drive to see him enough. I tried to justify it by saying on my days off of course I wanted to spend them with him, but I probably didn’t want to drive and also deal with his parents. He kept complaining about the toll (Which his father paid for and never mentioned it). Yet he persisted. Maybe 1/4 times I would go to him instead, but again given my busy schedule, it was hard. He would also insist I pay for his food because he “drove all this way, it’s the least I could do”. Eventually we did break up but now it’s starting to make me think AITA for making him drive? | AITA for making him drive? | ESH |
10up9u7 | For reference: there’s an age rap in our relationship. He has teen children that are 17-19.Today is my S/O’s birthday. He’s super chill and lowkey. Predictable in a sense. I just wanted him to relax and do whatever he wanted on his day. He said he just wants to chill at home and eat take out.However my bonus kids have turned his day into basically their day. Everything has been about what they wanted to do, or get for him, versus what their father actually wanted. However, he puts his kids first so he just goes with the flow and I have, too. However - I feel like an asshole for wanting to draw the line at dinner. Today they decided they want to go to a restaurant over an hour away from where we live (assuming there’s no traffic) for a reservation at 7pm that their father expressed 0 interest in going to. The issue is we have a 1 year old “ours” baby, and I’m pretty strict with his schedule. He is fed, bathed and in bed by 9pm - 10pm the latest. I’ve worked really hard on coming up with a schedule since he sleeps so horribly.I’m considering honestly skipping the dinner and staying at home. If we go that’s 2 extra hours of driving on top of 2-3 hours of eating and entertainment (they have live entertainment at this place and I know my bonus kids will want to see everything possible). My son will be so cranky, tired, and annoyed by 9 pm. But also I don’t want to seem like I’m being mean or like I don’t want my son to go because I do want my son to celebrate with his dad. I have asked if they could find somewhere closer to home but nobody wants to compromise.So, AITA? I’m not sure what to do and we’re supposed to leave in 45 mins. | AITA for possibly skipping my S/O’s birthday dinner due to his kids? | NTA |
10uwc38 | AITA for thinking that a parent drinking 16 beers in an 8 hour period is too much when you have 4 kids in your care? One of these kids includes a newborn baby. I am the other parent and I was there and not drinking but am I wrong for thinking this is inappropriate for the other parent? It seems excessive to me. He insists he is not hurting anyone and it is not a problem. And that basically I shouldn't have an issue with it. | AITA for criticising a parent for drinking 16 beers in an 8 hour period, with children in his care? | NTA |
10v2ewi | I work early in the morning, my room mate of almost 2 years has decided to take a year off work after he was fired for starting a fight.He has some money so can afford to, his boss also lied to EI and said he was laid off so he could claim EI but in reality he was let go for violence. So he could very well do this for a long time.Hes actually been 'fine' to live with until the past month.I had a complaint once, when he tried to adjust my rent on a monthly basis when I was new. But finding a place in this city is hard. You can end up homeless if you give your notice without having something lined up.So I toughed it out as long as I could.I did eventually complain to him about it, but his immediate response was something about how I should move.Lately, he's begun staying up until 2 or 3 am smoking weed on the balcony and doing these loud, wheezing coughs non stop for about 30-40 minutes straight at a time, in the kitchen, etc. The balcony is right outside my window, and it echoes off the adjacent building.I know if I complain, I'll have to find a new place to live.So now im just bottling everything up to the point where I'm so mad I don't know who the crazy one is anymore.He knows I have to be up at 5am for work. | AITA for wanting my apartment to be quiet at night | NTA |
10v67g7 | This happened a couple years ago.So my granddad got covid and very unfortunately he passed away because of his underlying health problems. This all happened during the height of covid which meant funerals were limited to 30 people in attendance. My grandparents have 5 grandchildren in total, my 2 older cousins (F33 and M29), me (F24) and my 2 younger siblings (M22 and F15). All grandchildren with the exception of my little sister were in (and still are in) long term, serious relationships with our other halves. Because of the limited attendance numbers, we were told our partners would not be invited which we understood. The day of the funeral comes and we attend. On arrival I see both my cousins and their partners are also in attendance. My oldest cousin, I expected her partner to be there as they are married and have to children who are obviously my grandparents great grandchildren. However, I was both upset and annoyed when I saw my other cousins partner was there.After the funeral at the wake, my grandmother was talking to both me and my brother and mentioned that she would have ‘really loved for both of our partners to have been there’. At this point my annoyance came out and I brought up that I was really annoyed and upset that my cousins partner was there when we were told our partners could not be there and that in my opinion, if we were unable to invite all of our partners then in my opinion, none should be invited (with the exception of my eldest cousins as he is the father of my granddads great grandchildren). My grandmother then mentioned that my male cousins partner was invited as they live together. This annoyed me further as me and my boyfriend had lived together for 4 years and been together for 5 at this point, which is was longer than my cousin and his partner had even been together. I cried, they cried but it was all on civil terms, no raised voices or anything, just a very heightened emotional conversation.We all get on still but anytime I’m ever upset or annoyed about something, they make little comments about that time which I don’t really appreciate as it makes me out to be overly emotional and petty. So AITA? | AITA for bringing up my annoyance at my granddad’s funeral? | NTA |
10v645e | So last year I got pregnant and my now ex (of 8 years) decided he no longer wanted kids. We had many conversations during our relationship about having kids and he was always more excited about it than I was, only to leave when I got pregnant and chose to keep it. He didn’t contact for the first 5 months of my pregnancy and when he finally did, he apologised for leaving and said he wanted to be involved in our daughter’s life. I refused to take him back but we agreed on co-parenting. Fast forward to when she was born, he showed interest and sent money for the first month then stopped. He still hasn’t come to meet her despite me asking countless times. I still sent him pics of her but he ignored them along with every message I sent. I even sent him pics of her first Christmas and asked if he wanted to come see her or FaceTime at least and once again, he ignored. I gave our daughter my last name and left him off the birth certificate. Out of curiosity, I went on his twitter page only to find him flirting with every girl under the sun so there’s definitely nothing wrong with his phone. I’ve decided to stop contacting him all together and block his number. Am I doing my daughter an injustice by blocking her dad? | AITA for blocking my daughter’s father? | NTA |
10uov9c | Me, 16 and my friend, 16, named Angie. If you read my recent post, you’d know Angie is pretty sketchy. We were having a sleepover, I was going to have a shower and get dressed to go out. I laid my clothes and jewellery on the bed to get while she was in the room, and I had a shower. After, I came back to the room to see my clothes gone. I said, ‘I could’ve sworn I put my clothes here?’ I think she thought I knew she had taken it, because Angie then said, ‘Oh, I think I put it in my bag on accident.’Then, I also noticed one of my rings were gone. While she was getting my clothes out her bag, I was thinking that nobody could take someones clothes on accident.After, she went to go shower. I had absolutely known I put my ring there, so I checked her bag which she left in my room incase she had stolen anything else. I locked the door incase she came in, then I found the ring. I even more clothes of mine and a necklace of mine.I took back my things and unlocked the door, she went in the room. I stepped out to get snacks, when I came back she yelled at me, saying I went through her bag because she noticed the things were missing. I said I had to make sure, and I was right. She said it was an invasion of privacy, and that I had no right to check her bag. I feel kinda shitty I guess, but I’m also glad I did it. What do you think? | AITA for accusing my friend of theft and searching her bag? | NTA |
10v0bkw | My boss yells a lot when she's stressed, and usually I'm used too it but today I got yelled at for no reason, we have these salads that are supposed to be weighed out, my friend (who is my manager) told me to add more kale if salads ever look too skimpy because customers complain about it, my boss caught me doing that and ran to my station, she yelled at me for not weighing it out and when I tried to explain why she said " I don't want to hear your excuses, and if you can't follow directions please let me know now", which was more upsetting because she basically threatened to fire me, at this point in my shift she had yelled about other things, she had been slamming things, and running around, ik she's stressed but her saying that broke me and I had a long panic attack, I still did my job, everyone heard her yell at me, but my friend never came to check on me, and when I finally snapped about it he asked what he was supposed to do about it, I said I didn't want him to do anything about it I was just very stressed and wanted someone to talk to me about it, he said as a lead I can't come to him about problems unless it's something that he can actually fix, but I told him he's my friend, then he said right now he's not, he's my boss. We got into a fight over it because I felt like all he had to do was say something like "yeah that sucks" or like a hug or something, he told me not to bother him with work problems because even tho he does care about me, he doesn't actually care about what happens at work, and it really hurt my feelings, because her yelling at me felt un deserved this time, my boss found out why I was doing it, but never came back to apologize, and my friend basically said I had to get over it/get used to it because there's nothing he can/ or wants to do about it. | AITA for wanting my friend to comfort me after I got yelled at by my boss? | NTA |
10ubnfs | Hi, My best friend recently broke up with her fiancée and they’ve been together for a while. They share an apartment and it’s been hard for the both continuing to live together. My friend is searching for a new place and I assume her ex is too.I have my own apartment, living with my dog, it’s a one bedroom and it’s pretty small. My bed can fit two people and I have a small couch. Today my friend texted me and asked if she could move in for a bit in exchange for a bit of rent and cooking for me (I love her cooking). However I am diagnosed with anxiety, a personality disorder and recurring depression as well as some minor diagnoses. Anyways, I want to help my friend, I really do. But I don’t know if I’m well enough to have someone live here. I don’t know how long she’ll stay (I didn’t ask yet, cause I don’t wanna ask “oh how long” when I already want to say no). Last time I had someone live with me in close quarters it went really bad, and I also need my space to be okay. She’s alluded to the fact we could move in together, but I told her what I’m telling you, sort of. Her coming here to live would fuck up my daily schedule and the thought of it is stressing me out, as I don’t deal well with having my routine messes with. But I wanna help her, she’s my best friend and I love her. And I want her to know she can come to me and not be afraid to ask for help, but I also don’t want to risk a setback. WIBTA?Edit: Thanks to everyone who gave a verdict! I told her I didn’t think living together would be good for us, but I asked my mom and she said I could stay in her house while they’re on a little trip, so my friend could stay in my apartment. However, she had already found a place to stay by the time I got back to her, but we talked about it and she understood why I felt we couldn’t live together. I told her she could come hang whenever she wanted though. | WIBTA if I said no to letting my friend crash for a bit | NTA |
10v2a29 | This is a throwaway account, as my best friend has reddit and will recognise me right away.So, I have this best friend (let’s call her Alice) and we have many similar interests and usually get along, but only because I go along with everything she says to avoid getting yelled at/scolded.Our friendship has become toxic only after two years of being close friends, we occasionally have sleepovers (despite us being in our mid 20s)During most of our friendship, she treats me like I’m inferior, as if I’m an idiot that doesn’t know anything about the world, she got her first job a while ago and made fun of me because I said I was tired after a small shift a work, despite having a migraine.She also tells me either to “shut up” or “stop talking” if I’m saying something she doesn’t agree with or finds annoying, she’s not nice about it either, she says it in the most condescending ways and this is only just two of the MANY ways she mistreats me.It got to the point where she wanted to keep me awake last night to speak to her, so I did, but then she stopped talking and claimed that she didn’t care because what I was talking about was “boring” when instead, she could’ve just changed the subject instead of being rude about it, I pulled her up in it and told her it’s not right to treat people the way she does and she always replies along the lines with “you still love me though and we always work everything out” which isn’t fair, but if I even try to help her change into a better person, she loses it at me and acts like I’m the bad person, so, am I the asshole? | AITA for asking my best friend to be a better person? | NTA |
10ugvb6 | I (F13), cant stand noises like chewing and breathing loudly, tapping, ect and was diagnosed with autism in November 2022. my dad, (M52), is someone who eats really really loudly. I can’t handle hearing it and my mum, (F46), even got me ear plugs because of this. but everyone sits in the same place at dinner and me and my dad sit next to each other so the ear plugs don’t work. he chews with his mouth open and I daily ask him to stop as I hate the noise, but every time I do he storms off angry and the mood in the room is really negative. I honestly don’t want to upset my dad but I seriously think he needs to handle it better and understand what I’m saying. AITA? | AITA for constantly snapping at my dad because he chews with his mouth open? | NTA |
10v5zkl | One of my coworkers is having what could be considered a moderately high-profile wedding in the summer. I say high-profile because she’s a well-known and popular news person in our city (I’m not on air, I’m just a newscast director).It should be known that she and I are not necessarily in each other’s super close circle of friends, but we do work the same shift and see each other every day and we certainly like each other.She’s been asking me to RSVP to the invite she sent about a month ago, and I finally told her today that I don’t like large gatherings and that I would rather celebrate her in a much smaller setting after she’s married. She also told me that she’s concerned about not having enough room for everyone she invited and I don’t want to potentially cause someone to miss out while I’m just sitting there miserable.She said she understands and she was very sweet, but I read an article that said you should never decline a wedding invitation unless it’s a destination wedding, you have genuine prior obligations or you would be emotionally distressed if you went. A lot of my other coworkers will likely be there as well.Am I an asshole for declining? | AITA for telling a coworker I don’t want to go to her wedding? | NTA |
10v5yys | AITA for treating my older sister how she treats me and everyone else every day?English is not my first language, please excuse any mistakes.Let me preface this by saying that as long as I can remember my older sister has treated me like a living piece of shit. My mother has always made excuses for this behavior with things like "It's her eating disorder, she will grow out of it" or more recently "she probably has Aspergers just be accommodating". I have always been nice to my sister, but she acts like I and everyone else are the biggest assholes on the planet.Today I (17f) wanted to watch a show (the last of us) with my mother. My older sister (18f) has said in the past it is "too scary" for her and that we need to watch it when she is not there. She is always there. When we ask her to just leave the room she refuses. When she went downstairs to do whatever she wanted to do for a bit we decided to watch it. She came upstairs screaming and calling us both evil brats for watching it against her wishes, she then made us turn the sound down to 20/100 (which is to a point where you can barely hear it) before she left again. We watched 20 minutes into the episode before she came up and started whining about it at which point we turned it off.I was upset because I only get to watch a show with my mom once a week and whenever she stays here she doesn't let us (she did the same with HOTD, she is usually at Uni but has been here since early December for the holiday). I went downstairs and did some homework while she watched harry potter upstairs on the tv (at 50 volume which is over double what she made us have it at). When she was about an hour into the movie I came up to sit down and watch it with her. All I did was sit down and she told me, and I quote to "piss off". At that point, I snapped and decided that I would do exactly what she has been doing to everyone else for years.I told her to turn down the sound to 20 because it was hurting my ears. She got very angry and called me all sorts of profanities and slurs. I insisted that she turn it down and she got even angrier, she then paused it and said she would only turn it on again when I left, so I went on my laptop and sat in place. Eventually, she got so angry that she was screaming at the top of her lungs (20:00 too and we have neighbors) she then stomped off.I haven't talked to her since. My sister scares me so much that I fear she will grab a knife and stab me in one of her tantrums. At one point in the past, she threatened my mother with a knife and we had to hide them for a year, I sleep with one under my mattress.My mother says I was being an asshole for instigating her like that and that I shouldn't have done that. I do not plan to put up with any of her bullshit any longer.AITA? | AITA for treating my older sister how she treats me and others every day? | NTA |
10v5yl8 | This is long so bear with me.To give context, I (22F) have a pretty bad relationship with my dad (43m). My entire life, he has been mentally and emotionally abusive to my mother and I. The worst was when he yelled me in a public square on the day my mom graduated from Harvard, telling me I ruined everything I touched and that I was ruining my mom’s graduation by being there. I was adopted at 7 by my parents and I did have tendencies to try to ruin people’s day when I was little because I had severe trauma. I spent 10+ years of therapy working through it. My mom reassured me I did nothing to ruin her day. Friday evening, I was with my roommate and we were scrolling through Facebook to pass the time. I saw a post of my dad with his new girlfriend, saying they’d been Facebook friends for 8 years — but a lot of the photos looked more like couple photos than friend photos. I was weirded out, so was my roommate and so was my mom. In retrospect I probably should’ve just called, but I commented, “Weren’t you married to my mom then?” And keep in mind my mom had no clue who this woman was, even though she was supposedly my dad’s coworker for years and they hung out a lot. Once they separated, he and this coworker almost immediately started dating. Their announcement to Facebook was photos of them on the mountain where my dad proposed to my mom. This was before anyone even knew my parents had separated, so my mom got bombarded with calls from friends asking what had happened. She had wanted to keep it quiet. We asked both of them, privately, to take the photos down out of respect for my mom bc she was uncomfortable.Well, they did, but my dad called my mom and I heard the whole thing. He basically called her names and said how awful she was. So a lot of gaslighting. My dad did reupload the photos, and his girlfriend commented something akin to “Thankfully we can finally post these”. So this morning he called me and blew up at me over the comment. Said things like I was ruining his happiness and he deleted his Facebook account because I’m always causing drama on there, and how I hurt his feelings, refused to say “I love you back” (which he does when he’s mad). Yes, I’ve made clear my issues with him and his usual response is to tell me how I’m wrong and that his feelings matter more.He booked me a trip Saturday (so in a week) but after that call, I bawled cried to my mom & roommate, saying how I didn’t feel safe going back there. (I live in California, he lives in North Carolina.) Both of them immediately told me not to go if I felt unsafe. I feel physically fearful and unsafe going back there but he already booked the tickets so that money would go to waste.Also, if you’re wondering why I would unblock him after all of that, I just wanted my dad back. He swore up and down he had changed and would no longer be abusive so I decided to give him another chance, and he proved he’s still the same.So AITA here? | AITA for not going on a trip my dad booked? | NTA |
10uyloz | i’ve been planning to go to this concert for months and i wasn’t informed until after i had already bought the (non refundable) tickets that my cousin’s wedding is the same day. these tickets were NOT cheap and it’s something i’ve been really looking forward to.my cousin and i were close growing up but as adults we’ve really only seen/talked to each other like, once a year for the past several years. he’s not a super uptight guy and i sincerely don’t think he would even be offended (my mother is getting offended on his behalf which is why i’m now wondering whether i’m TA).so, WIBTA if i missed my cousin’s wedding for a concert? | WIBTA if i went to a concert instead of my cousin’s wedding? | NTA |
10tz7yh | On the RSVP my fiancé and I put that we’re reserving 5 seats for his family of 5. Today we got the RSVP back and he crossed the 5 out and put 6. I asked one of our sisters if she knows who the 6th person might be and she told me it’s his sons girlfriend. We are having a smaller wedding and already didn’t invite a lot of family because we didn’t want it to get too big. I know it’s just one extra person but no one in their family asked if it would be ok. They’re both in high school and our wedding invitation says that it’s an adult only reception. Obviously for immediate family that request isn’t applicable but the girlfriend isn’t immediate family, she wasn’t invited, we don’t know her, and no one asked us if she can come. So WIBTA to tell my brother that she cannot come?edit: I took all your advice and reached out to my brother. Apparently he was the one that invited the girlfriend, not my nephew. Basically he gaslit me and said something along the lines of it being sad that he can’t invite someone to my wedding. He also said that I didn’t even ask who it was that he invited. Then proceeded to ask if he and his family were still invited. | WIBTA for telling my brother his 16 year old son can’t bring his girlfriend of 6 months to my wedding? | NTA |
10v5w5v | Going to DR for a wedding. All inclusive. My BILs best friend. Good grip, rowdy, but fun.But, for the last 3 of these weddings, the leader of that group insists that everyone goes to duty free before arriving and buy a bottle each of whiskey. The guy loves jack daniels and he’s a groomsman. He did this at the last 2, more as the group leader vs wedding party person.I wind up spending like $75 for a 750ml of jack daniels. It’s really dumb. Everyone follows suit because they don’t want to be an asshole.Money is not tight, I can afford it just fine, but it flies in the face of common sense to me.My idea is - why don’t I just go into town, buy a bunch of bottles, at you know, regular price, and we’ll all be the wiser. I had a girlfriend during our last one of these and she suggested the same thing but it was too late by then.Even though on paper it’s clearly a financially sound decision, the group mentality is that if you don’t do the duty free thing, you’re being cheap, and given my financial situation isn’t tight, it won’t reflect well. “Everyone else did it, what you can’t afford $75 bro?”So, WIBTA if I just bailed on the duty free thing, went into town the second I got there, and bought like 4 bottles for the same price? And yes, people would know I didn’t do DF, we’re on the same flight.EDIT: the reason is to have booze for the after parties when the resort bars and stuff close. There will be 2-3 of these | WIBTA if I went into town for booze? | NTA |
10v5vuf | I'm 34M, my half-brother is 39. He has a teenage son, I have a 1 year old daughter. We don't see each other often, but we call and text. He grew up without a solid male role model, his father was never in the picture, so he was somewhat difficult in his youth. My mothers general lack of parenting didn't help in this regard. I spent most of my time with my father and his family, visiting my mother and my brother on weekends.While my brother has little formal education, I would call him gifted. He is a creative person and he's very good at what he does. Unfortunately he is unwilling to think ahead or plan, he has a 'devil may care' attitude. This means his financials have never been great.Over the years he has asked me for loans several times. I never got the money back, and he never brought it up. He would just ask for another loan. The last time he asked for money was 4 years ago. He told me he needs the money for his son. I told him it's not cool, using his child to guilt me into giving him money, while he has had years to better his situation. We agreed that he can ask me for money 2 more times and that's it, after this I would be done with the loans. He used up his last 2 times and that was it.I've told our mother to stop giving him money, that he has to learn to take care of himself. When he recently got injured at work (disabled for a few weeks), he wrote to me asking for money. Our mother followed my advice and told him to figure it out, so he asked me. His son doesn't live with him, he has only himself to consider. I called our mother to ask what the money is for. He wanted to move to another city, to be closer to his son. He found a flat that was close to where his son lived. But he was not living there yet, he still had some work to finish in his current town, and he was recovering from his injuries. Our mother helped him with the deposit and she paid the first month of rent. He could not yet move and he wanted to keep the flat. It would take him at least one more month wrap things up, while paying rent for an empty flat. I found all this ludicrous. I wold have just canceled the contract and look for another flat. Yes, any other flat would have been further from his kid, but that's life. I went off on him. I reminded him all the previous loans. I explained why it's a dumb idea. I was annoyed with him for even asking.I don't really know if he understood me. He went back to our mother, she caved and gave him the money. In total she spent thousands paying for an empty flat. I feel bad leaving him in a tough spot. I understand the need to be close to your kid. I did say I love him to pieces, but that shit just doesn't fly with me. He hasn't been responding to my texts. Maybe I should cut him some slack due to his childhood. At the same time, it's not something one can hide behind forever. Childhood is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to deal with it.So, AITA for not giving him money? | AITA for not giving my brother money? | NTA |
10v266g | Names changed. I (39M) play DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) with my friends and in 2020 I decided to DM a campaign for my friends to help with the stress.
Two friends of mine are a couple, Matt and John (29M now) just added an infant to their family when I started my campaign. They shared a character at first to swap baby duty (this was over the internet with video call). Eventually, they moved to the same town as me and for 8 months they (Matt, John and Bubba) lived with me because their housing fell thru last minute.
We started playing in person and they wanted to start playing separate characters once Bubba was old enough he didn’t need as dedicated focus. We found an in-game reason to split, no problem. Matt started having seizures and it took a long time to get them under control (it’s relevant). They move out, we keep playing off and on because life happens. Have friends join and leave, the three of us remain the core group. Matt’s dad dies.
Matt forgets everything. Not just DnD, but everything. Total amnesia. He eventually starts gaining it back, but keeps having episodes of amnesia. At this point we’ve stopped the game because he doesn’t remember anything about the character he created or the game.
Finally find out his seizures and amnesia are in part due to PTSD and he’ll have amnesia episodes whenever something triggers him. I suspended our game indefinitely while he works with a counselor to get the total amnesia attacks under control. He hasn’t had any memory loss covering more than a day for a few months now and he wants to resume the campaign. Now that the backstory is out of the way:
I don’t want to play with someone who is constantly having to make new characters and relearn how to play DnD. It’s exhausting to have to incorporate a new character, only for him to forget and have to change the story for one character to leave and another to return. Add to that explaining the house rules, how to play, etc. However, he hasn’t had a major memory loss in a few months. So, AITA for not resuming our campaign now that he isn’t consistently losing his memory? WIBTA if I told him that’s why we aren’t playing?
Two questions that might come up: He doesn’t remember the old campaign or his old characters. I’ve been very sick lately, which has been the excuse I’ve given Matt as to why we haven’t resumed. But I’m recovering, so I can’t use that excuse for long. | AITA For not wanting to play DnD because my friend keeps forgetting how? | NTA |
10v0099 | TA account. For background, I am in a group chat with three friends and an acquaintance "Mel". I call Mel an acquaintance because I am not really close to her but the rest of my friends are good friends with her. Mel likely sees me as an acquaintance too. I have hung out with my three friends multiple times as a group but I have hung out with all four (plus Mel) only once.Anyways, Mel's birthday is in three weeks and one of my friends "Daisy" texted the group chat asking what we were going to do for her birthday. Mel said she wanted to go to an aquarium early in the day located in San Diego (where we live far from). The rest of my friends made the idea of hanging out the entire day in San Diego to celebrate her 25th birthday which I thought would be fun.I didn't check the group chat for a whole day but Daisy asked Mel where else she would like to go. Mel said she didn't mind where and would appreciate ideas. Daisy then came up with a list of things to do in San Diego which Mel agreed sounded like a good list. I checked the group chat after Mel agreed to go to the places on the list. I then see the list and look up the places online. After looking up all the attractions I see that they all require an entrance fee/ticket and each attraction costs around 30-40 dollars per ticket. Basically, I would spend about 150 dollars for Mel's birthday.I don't have enough money to be spending right now due to my financial situation. If I were to tell the group chat that I can't go because of financial reasons, Mel wouldn't care if I went or not. My other two friends would be understanding why I couldn't go but I know Daisy would try to start an argument if I said I did not want to go. I have an idea of what Daisy might say:"It's selfish of you to not want to celebrate Mel's birthday""Money comes and goes""It's selfish to not even spare some money to celebrate someone's birthday""You're being bitchy for not wanting to celebrate someone's special day"I want to be honest and tell them I can't go due to financial reasons but I don't want a one-sided aggressive argument from Daisy. I would go for only the first part of her birthday (to spend less) but we'd be carpooling in someone else's car since the drive is far from where we live, so I wouldn't have a way back to leave early. Even if I lied and said I had something important to do that day, Daisy would tell me to attend the birthday instead and tell me that my important thing could be moved to another day. Thank you if you read this far, but is it reasonable for me to not go to Mel's birthday and AITA for not wanting to go?Also, idk if I am the AH for thinking this but even if I were in a good financial situation, I don't think I would spend $150 for someone's birthday who I'm not that close with. If it were a close friend or the other person really wanted me to go to try to get closer to me then I would be more willing to spend 150. | AITA for not wanting to go to an acquaintance's birthday event? | NTA |
10v1zjy | The title may be a little misleading but I can't figure out something better. And sorry for my bad english. To start of, I M16 used to sit around on Discord quite a lot. I made a lot of friends on there and always talked to them like I talk in real life. I'm most likely autistic and currently in the progress of getting a diagnosis, I would tell people this if I trusted them enough. Though in this one groupchat it turned into quite the problem. A while after I gave out the information about my and my superiors suspicions about autism they "confronted me" about faking autism. Keep in mind that this is all online, they have no idea how I act outside of Discord. They did not listen at all to what I had to say and basically made me out to be this whole asshole guy who faked being autistic to fit in with them. I would never fake anything this serious and I've been in the system to get help way before I met them, so their point doesn't even have a stable foundation. I know who I am and I know that I should not take their words to heart as they literally do not have anything to back them up other than "You don't have a professional diagnosis and you've talked about stuff you've gone through so you're faking" but I still wonder if I am that asshole rude jerk they made me out to be. So am I the asshole for talking about experiences I've had as an undiagnosed person? | AITA for talking about experiences I've had as an undiagnosed person? | NTA |
10uwv5h | I have two Masters degrees and, with my Bachelors, 3 degrees worth of school loans totaling $180k that have ballooned to much more with interest. I have never bought a house and have never had kids. I am responsible. I have moved numerous times for better jobs over the years.My current long-term (2.5 years) boyfriend resents me for not being at home full-time and having a “traditional” work schedule because I am attending a three-semester long nursing bridge college program. It will allow me to have a high-paying career, make reasonable money after I will pay ten percent of my income to income-based repayment, and work significantly less hours than otherwise. He believes I don’t prioritize him and am being selfish. AITA?I have worked through the pandemic to make extra money to put aside for this so he doesn’t pay for any of this travel or tuition and I still pay for half (or more) of the house (his house) as well as groceries so he is not burdened with shopping (that he hates) or laundry.I have worked as a paramedic, educator, or in hospitals for the last 20 years. Pay is always bad for paramedic, NON-firefighters. The EMS profession is not organized into a cohesive infrastructure in the US. They are scared of qualified people with college degrees and who come from other places, bringing their new ideas which will disrupt their way of doing things. It’s a good old boys club.In the hospital, it was the glass ceiling. I did not have the magic RN letters. So, I scoured the country to find a paramedic-to-RN bridge program. It’s hybrid, part-online, and accredited.It’s 2 days a week but in a different state. I stay with family whom I pay some rent to and use one of their cars while I am there. I fly back and forth each week, a direct flight from small airports. I work 20 hours a week remotely for benefits. Traveling takes me 4 hours twice a week the day before and after school. He never wanted to combine our finances, so I still work every other weekend on the ambulance when I come home. He also felt scorned when I wanted a vacation between fall and spring terms.I grew up meagerly, taken away from our father due to abuse. My mother is wonderful, but dropped out of college to have me and therefore, was not well-off. So I had to borrow all of my degrees; I have always had to support myself. He wants me to just let him ‘take care of me,’ but then complains that he doesn’t want to talk about bills or finances. That sounds shallow and immature to me. He doesn’t acknowledge, despite knowing, that I spend more money going back and forth than on the school itself! And that IS prioritizing him. Getting rid of my debt helps us.I am currently in the second semester. I have quit one of my jobs to help alleviate his concerns but am afraid it wont be enough financially. Am I making the right choice by staying in school? | AITA to attend school and not be home full-time to enable myself to pay a huge school loan balance? | NTA |
10v5huy | My wife(34f) and I (33m) were looking at YouTube videos of Paris and I pointed at a cafe that I once visited. She replied with “let’s save up and go there next”! Even I said let’s go. And I stupidly followed by saying “London has got nothing on Paris” and she shook her head and said that’s not true!My wife used to live in London for a long time before she met me. So it’s very special for her. But then I jokingly said “do you know what they say about London, Paris and Berlin? That London is your old housewife, Paris is your muse and Berlin is your mistress!”.I honestly said it as a joke but she called me an asshole and now she won’t talk to me…So we posted here to see what you guys say was it an asshole thing to say? AITAH??Edit: She says I scrunched my nose when I said old house wife and smiled widely when I said mistress. She asked me if that’s what I will think of her when she is old… | AITAH for saying to my wife that Berlin is like a mistress? | NTA |
10v5hhe | My husband, 38, told me he's agreed with his friend Rachel (fake name), a 38-year-old masculine-looking woman who works in various offices in Vancouver (in a different part of Vancouver) that he'd stand in for Rachel and meet her clients so she can go for a shopping day in Toronto with a friend.Rachel said she'd help my husband look like her, right down to the grey shift dress and skirt suit with tights and high heels she wears, and help make him look like a convincing lookalike.My husband said he's taking a day off from clients to do this in Vancouver center with Rachel.I live in Burnaby, and I know who Rachel is, but don't know her as well as my husband. She seems like a nice enough lady, even though I don't know her that well. She's a former client of my husband's who visits different offices several times a week to provide consulting services. Rachel has her own business but didn't want to let down clients, basically which was why she had this idea.FWIW, Rachel's a lesbian, so no worry about them having an affair.But the point is, isn't what Rachel wants to do to my husband a little weird AF and not socially acceptable? Not to mention my husband agreeing to go along with it.My husband isn't into crossdressing but he does enjoy the RuPaul Drag Race shows he's seen via piracy.I told my husband that what he's doing was a bit morally unsound and possibly weird AF and not socially acceptable. I said we needed to talk about this. He said he'd do it, but seemed perturbed.I ask you good people on here, AITA or not, or is my husband the asshole, who's right, who's wrong here? | AITA for telling my husband that dressing up as his friend from another workplace is weird AF and not socially acceptable? | NTA |
10usklp | In June, it will be 2 years since I was in a car accident with my mom. I was driving when a drunk cyclist came at a big speed down the road perpendicular to the road we were on (he was going down the hill on the right side of my car) and didn't hit the bike brakes. Fortunately, I wasn't speeding or anything at that time, so he only got a few scrapes when he hit my windshield. My mother and I were left unharmed.Since that time, I have my heart in my throat whenever there is a vehicle going at a higher speed, as if it were about to hit the side of my car, and I am not sure if it will stop or go on like that cyclist. My heart beats a bit faster, and my hands become sweaty at times when it happens. My first instinct then is to hit the brakes and slow down, even when I am not going over the speed limit.From the time of that incident on, my mom became obsessed with careful driving. She doesn't have a driving license because she failed the test and later on didn't try again (mostly due to lack of money and her bad sight). That's why I have to drive her around. Whenever there is a car "going at us," when I am driving a bit faster, or simply doing some maneuvers on the road, she comments on my driving and what I should and shouldn't do.I understand that she was there with me and that she also has trauma, but I can't find a way to make her understand that when she constantly comments on how I should drive my car, it pisses me off and makes me even more stressed to be behind a steering wheel. That's why, at times, I simply explode and yell at her when I can't stand it anymore. Usually, it's something along the lines of "Shut up; you're not the one driving." "You don't even have the license, so don't tell me what to do."The last time I apologized to her, it was only for the part about the license. After all, it's not her fault that she had no money to pay for more driving tests because she had to buy us food.I can understand her, but I feel like I am also right. So, AITA, for yelling at her? Because I feel like I am. After all, I hurt her feelings, but she just won't stop this behaviour no matter what I say to her and repeats it each time, even though we talked about the fact that it disturbs me.EDIT: I talked to her in the car and at home, so it's not that I only express my opinion about her behavior while being angry at her during the ride. | AITA for yelling at my mom, because she disturbs me while I am driving my car? | NTA |
10v1s2f | I don't know if the mods will let me post this. Anyway, I am a 27 year old female and currently stay in an Asian country. I suffer from chronic depression and social anxiety, and it has been very hard for me to hold on to a job. I shall explain why.Ever since I was an infant, I was constantly emotionally, verbally and physically neglected by my father. I never received any love from him. The constant child neglect took place till I reached the age of 18. Everyday growing up, he reminded me that he would be happy if I died. Nothing I ever achieved was celebrated, heck was even acknowledged, I was constantly put down for my looks by my own parents, and was told nobody would ever love me or marry me. I was PETRIFIED of my father. After enduring so much trauma, I have grown up with severe depression and it even affects my married life. When I finally mustered the courage to talk about this to my parents, I was simply scoffed off, and was told that I was being delusional and to just forget it all. Since mental trauma isn't tangible, they feel they have done no wrong. My question is if in the process of the neglect, had I lost an arm or a leg, or be paralyzed, would I be asked to just forget it?Sure, therapy and counselling will help in healing, but it would be equivalent to putting on prosthetics or using a wheelchair, That would never bring my old healthy self back or give me back a happy childhood.So, now I have demanded for the 7k dollars as compensation for my mental health treatment and my medical bills. All my extended family are calling be an asshole. Reddit am I the asshole for demanding money from my parents?Edit: Please kindly read my post on the subreddit on narcissisticparents to understand what had really happened. The mods here didn't let me post those details here.https://www.reddit.com/r/narcissisticparents/comments/10obun0/going_no_contact_with_my_father_for_years_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button | AITA for adamantly demanding seven thousand dollars from my parents as compensation for the years of childhood neglect? | NTA |
10uuac4 | So I was flying home from vacation with my friend and we were seated next to a man in a 3 person row. He had a pilot's association lanyard and was chatting pretty familiarly with one of the flight attendants. We asked him and he confirmed he works for the company. We sat on the tarmac for about 40 minutes because of heavy rain that delayed a bunch of take offs and landings and he was on his phone the whole time.Soon after sitting down, my friend in the middle seat leaned over and said he was texting someone some nasty stuff about being seated next to two fat chicks but at least we weren't spilling over. I had a baby not long ago and I've got a tummy but fit comfortably in a seat and my friend is petite and stocky but again, easily fits in her seat. He wrote more stuff about us but she didn't want to repeat it. I've never seen her so mad.He was also texting gross stuff about the flight attendant he was speaking with earlier, telling his friend that the attendant looked like a bottom (both gay men) and said some other super gross stuff about how he was gonna bang this guy. He was also sexting with with several other men. The guy had his phone in his lap while texting. Like, my friend didn't even have to turn her head or peer around, it was totally visible from where she sat. We told the flight attendant that this guy was being creepy and was gross about us and him. He apologized profusely and thanked us for warning him. I wanted to say something to him as we left the plane but she asked me not to and I respected that.I do want to say something to their company customer service but my friend thinks that we should drop it because we don't really have proof it happened other than her immediately telling the attendant and us having no other way to know this guy sleeps with men. I said we don't need proof, it's not a court of law and there's no jury, but if I was his employer, I'd sure want to know if they were saying stuff like that about customers and fellow employees. They probably won't do anything or even talk to him but if he's got other complaints against him, this helps establish a pattern.We also weren't sure if she was being the AH, because even though it was plainly visible to her, it was obviously not meant for her to read.So, are we the assholes for reading what he wrote? If no, should we let his employer know? *Also, added because it was funny, mid flight the creep went to the back to try to flirt with the flight attendant we had already warned. He had been gone for a while and my friend went up to hit the bathroom and got to witness the creep getting the grey rock treatment from the flight attendant.* | AITA for reading a stranger's texts about me, when they're sitting next to me on a flight? | YTA |
10uwkf3 | i’ve been in various forms of a band with a good friend for the last 3 years, with him on drums and me playing guitar or bass as needed. for the longest time, we were the two strongest members and the lowest common denominator was always somebody else, but over the last 6 ish months we reformed with a new bassist and singer/guitarist (i play lead guitar). we’ve written some good songs and played a couple of shows, with another one coming up in a few weeks, but i don’t find myself satisfied creatively. the drummer is very difficult to work with at times, hes always suggesting covers when we need to work on originals, changing drum parts for already established songs, and his style doesn’t feel like it works with the music me and the singer are writing. generally, i have demos that are fully fleshed out musically, with a structure and general drum part in mind. the issue is that he changes the parts in a way that doesn’t fit the song and my intentions, i’ve tried talking to him about it and explaining that i write the way i do for a reason and trying to compromise, but it’s never worked. the singer is an amazing musician and songwriter who’s in another local band that i love, and working with him has been great. he has a lot of the same frustrations that i have, namely that aside from creative issues, everything is super unorganized, and as bas as it sounds that mostly traces back to the drummer. we really want to go off and form our own project, because we’re on the same page and work really well together, but i’m struggling to find a way to do it without coming across as a huge dick. this situation is even more complicated because we’re very close friends and get along well in that regard, we just always butt heads when it comes to anything creative. we have three weeks until our next show which is 90 minutes, and we only have 45 minutes worth of material ready. the singer drew up a plan for things to work on at rehearsals going forward that should work if we all practice alone, but i can see things not going as well as they need to. this next show and the lead up to it are really the deciding factor for me, and unless something drastically changes within that time, im not sure that i want to continue with this band. we decided not to schedule any more shows until we get our shit together, and we’re gonna have a band meeting and talk about refocusing after this gig but i’m really not confident that i want to continue with it going forward. i don’t feel excited for this next gig, i feel like it’s another thing i need to push through and get over and done with, which is not a good mentality to have. i don’t even know what sort of advice i’m looking for. i feel like i already have my mind made up, but i just need somewhere to vent about it and i’d like to hear some other possible perspectives on the situation. id really like to hear what you all think, feel free to ask for clarification an any part of this. | WIBTA for quitting a band with a close friend and starting a new project with another member of said band b/c i don’t feel satisfied creatively? | NTA |
10uqtoq | I went on an expensive ski trip with three friends, spending 700/night on a luxury hotel for 3 nights. We all agreed months ahead of time that we would split the the cost of the hotel equally and prepaid for our stay. On the trip, one of my friends, Mona (names have been changed) hurts her knee and can no longer ski. She ends up leaving the trip one night early to go to the doctor. Lisa and I stay for the remainder of the trip. Once we get back, Mona asks that we refund her for her portion of the last night as “things are extremely tight right now & leaving early fucked me both cost & experience wise. I know me getting hurt was not expected, but I would sincerely appreciate it given the situation and recovery (more $ & stress) ahead.”On one hand, I understand her situation, feel bad for her, and want to help. On the other hand, we all committed to and agreed on the amount of money we’d spend that weekend ahead of time and if she really was spread too thin, we’re close enough where she would feel comfortable expressing that. I also don’t think it’s fair for me to spend more out of my pocket and have to subsidize her lifestyle of living above her means (we all make around the same income - low six figured)1 - AITA for thinking this way?I talked to Lisa and she agreed that she didn’t want to pay more than what she originally agreed to as she’s also got bills to pay. I also am a little tight on money but spend less frivolously than Mona. Because I can help (even though I don’t want to - thanks to being a people pleaser) and Mona is one of my good friends so I understand how frustrating it is to have unexpected expenses, I offered to help. We had spent $400 on a dinner to be split evenly that I was owed money for from both Mona and Lisa. I told Mona that I would be happy to cover half of her portion for dinner (I asked Lisa to cover Mona’s other half but she declined) as a way to somewhat meet in the middle. She then got super passive aggressive and condescending and said she’ll pay for dinner and forget about asking about the hotel. She also said “In two previous situations with group trips I took leadership to get money back for my friend when they got Covid, and one had to work”…not really sure what that was about. 2 - AITA for how I handled the situation? | AITA for not refunding friend for prepaid trip? | NTA |
10v56px | My (25F) brother is turning 17 and my parents are planning to have a birthday dinner celebration with him. But between work being stress and me not being very close to him, I’m not too inclined to go. I’ve indicated this to my parents and they’re upset and they said it’s to spend time with family, but I’ve replied that I’m not interested in someone who never invests time in the family. This guy just spends time gaming 24/7, and refuses to relinquish his devices even when requested to do so at the dining table. The only time I ever see him is at mealtimes when he maybe gets hungry and can be bothered to arrive to eat (half the time he eats an hour later because he’s busy “gaming”) Mind you, I’m a pretty avid gamer myself and I can understand being engrossed at a game at his age, but he’s also wronged me at a major event that caused me to break down and has yet to apologize for it. I know I’m being petty, but I would rather be sleeping at home than spending time at some restaurant and then cutting his birthday cake (which is a pointless tradition imo, I don’t even like cutting my own cake). WIBTA?Edit: I’m pretty close to my parents and I love them, and I can see why they’re upset that I’m missing out on something they’ve been taking time to plan, but at the same time it’s for my brother and I’m hoping they’ll be fine that he enjoys it anyway | WIBTA if I don’t attend my brother’s birthday dinner? | YWBTA |
10v55x4 | Okay, this is gonna be quite the read.Early last year, I (21F) had my boyfriend (21M) move in with me in my college townhome with my 5 other roommates.All of my other roommates are women. We all moved in a year prior to my boyfriend, and I only knew a couple of them at the time. We all grew really close and became good friends-we hung out all the time. My boyfriend, at this time, was taking a break from college due to mental health issues, and living with his parents 4 hours away. He was very indecisive on whether or not he’d be going back to college (he goes to the same college as all of us do), so I resigned my lease with my roommates.On a whim, my boyfriend decided he wanted to come back to college but didn’t have anywhere to live. He couldn’t afford staying in the dorms, and definitely couldn’t afford living by himself. I also couldn’t break my lease, otherwise I would have just moved in with him.I immediately asked every one of my roommates if it would be ok if he lived with us. They had met him multiple times when he came to visit me, and was always very friendly and respectful to everyone, of course. Again, all of me and my roommates had grown pretty close.They all agreed that they would have no problem with it. I should also mention that another one of my roommates had her boyfriend living with us for a long period of time, so I didn’t think I was asking too much. Being the people pleaser I am, I continued to ask everyone to make sure it was really okay and they weren’t just saying yes for the sake of it. They all continued to agree, so I called my boyfriend and let him know he was in the clear, and he could live with us.We both share my room, and mostly keep to ourselves downstairs (we have a small extra living room in the basement, along with our bedroom and another roommates bedroom). One night at around 3:00am, two of my roommates drunkenly pulled me into the bathroom and said they needed to have “a talk” with me. For the next hour, they yelled at me saying how I was disrespectful for letting him stay there, how I didn’t take anyone else’s feelings into account, and said they talked to their therapists about me because it was causing them so much stress. And this was all centered around my boyfriend living there. Over the past year, I can obviously tell that they don’t like him. I don’t know if it’s because he annoys them, or it’s just the fact that a guy lives there and it’s uncomfortable for them. From everything that I’ve seen, my boyfriend is very respectful, cleans up after himself and takes out everyone’s trash, so I’m not sure why they don’t like him. He even pays extra on our electric bill. I don’t know what to do or if I’m being the asshole. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around everyone and feel like everything is my fault. Some of my roommates still pull me aside every now and then and talk shit about how my boyfriend lives here. | AITA for having my boyfriend move in with me and my roommates? | NTA |
10uqlxh | A few days ago i celebrated my bday party at my house (i am 19 for reference) with a group of close friends aprox 10. And later, during the party after a round of games a few friends went together in MY room upstairs, closed the doors and basically had “deep” conversations for a good hour.Maybe the most weird thing was that one of them basically said not to follow them (go back downstairs), in a sense excluded me before asking if I wanted to join them (as a host that seems rude).Am I the asshole for thinking that running off during someone’s bday party with a few friends and hiding in a room for an hour rude? I get wanting some quiet but at what extent?P. S. I did ask them to join us after 30 minutes but they seemed not interested, sort of ruined the vibe for the people that were excluded, and especially made it hard for me to be a good host.Everything sorted out in the end but that hour and a half was really disrespectful in my opinion. | AITA for thinking that having seperate/private room conversations during my birthday party rude? | NTA |
10uhw8h | I am the youngest of five children. My siblings and I grew up struggling financially, mostly because of our parents’ bad spending habits, unwillingness to keep a job, and financial illiteracy. I grew up so financially traumatized, I made it a point and focus of mine to never have to live a life like that ever again. My wife and I went to college, received our degrees, then worked towards the financial stability we desired.We purchased our first home last year in November. Not even two months in, my sister and her husband asked if their family (3 kids) could stay with us. Apparently, they have been struggling financially and needed to catch up on some of their bills. They were living day to day in a hotel these past few months. However, I learned they were evicted from their apartment for being behind on rent, and that was the reason they were staying in a hotel. Here is the problem I have with the entire situation. My sister and her husband have both lost multiple jobs for their lack of work ethic and maturity (fighting at work , drinking on the job, calling in too often). My sister and her husband are 10 + years older than my wife and I. Their current financial situation is 100% caused by the very same unhealthy financial habits my sister and I came from. Within a month of them staying with us I have noticed them spending more than what my wife and I would spend. That’s because we have a budget to assure we can save, pay our mortgage, and assure we stay financially stable. My sister doesn’t work at all. They eat out 3-4 times a week, have went shopping two weekends in a row, and have showed reckless spending behavior. My sister smokes marijuana and always has money for her stash. I don’t have problem with her smoking, but I believe your family’s needs come first before you get to enjoy things like that. I agreed to help them because I thought they were in NEED. IMO, you do not spend the way they have been spending if you are in desperate financial need. I have realized they are in their current financial situation because of the poor financial decisions they have made and continue to make. I feel like they are using me to live a comfortable life. They only pay me for utilities, and there is never any talk about plans to look for a place to stay.AITA for asking them to move out at the end of the month? | AITA for asking my sister and her family to move out at the end of the month ? | NTA |
10v52im | I (32f) have a “friend” Hannah (32f) who was my best pal growing up. We had been through so much and she was honestly like a sister to me at one point and we considered each others families as our own. A few years ago while I was away visiting my long distance partner, my younger brother (20m) was attacked by her partner Vic (35m). My brother had been 16 at the time, and had called me asking what to do — I told him to call the police, which he did. Following this, I was furious with Vic, but the whole event was twisted to seem like it wasn’t Vic’s fault and that everyone was drunk (my brother definitely wasn’t) and it was just all a huge misunderstanding. I’ve always been a doormat, especially with Hannah, and tried to keep the peace but my brother, understandably, wanted nothing to do with her or Vic anymore. Hannah eventually split up with Vic, and I started to think our friendship might be salvageable. I then discovered Hannah is back together with Vic (I don’t use social media a lot) about a year and a half ago and I was just shocked. We hadn’t spoke for a little while anyway due to me now living further away, but we were civil and would do the casual “hi how are you” messaging now and again. I started to think that maybe that was why she wouldn’t meet up with me — I had visited home on my 30th and asked if she wanted to meet up to talk, but she never got back to me. It was a few months after my 30th that I found out they were together again. My 32nd birthday happened recently, and about a week before my birthday she had followed me and messaged me on instagram about a band we used to listen to. It was very out of the blue, and I had unfollowed her and removed her from my followers last year, so I didn’t respond. A few days later I had my birthday, and she had wished me a happy birthday — again, I didn’t respond. She messaged me again asking how I was, and I decided to remove her from my followers again and deleted the message without responding. I spoke to one of my friends about all this, and she things I’m being an AH. She said Hannah is clearly trying to reach out to me and resolve matters, and I’m being immature by just ignoring her. I explained everything that happened to this friend and, while she agrees Vic is an AH, she thinks Hannah is probably still all over the place emotionally after her mother passed away 5 years ago, and is only with Vic for some familiarity but that I could be that familiarity instead, and I think she might be right. So Reddit, AITA? | AITA for ignoring my (ex) best friend? | NTA |
10uv30i | I’m going to keep this as short as possible.my mum called me today and i mentioned that my younger brother was helping to clean out my aunties garden whilst she finished her uni work (i thought my brother already told mum), she said she would pay him for his work which he happily accepted and got everything done within maybe an hour and a half. mum got angry that my brother was helping out and started to yell saying she feeds him, let’s him wash there and gives him a place to stay so he should have done her garden first. i told her that those were things that she as a parent was supposed to do and this caused her to hang up. i think i’m the AH because i 1) neither me or my brother live with my mum so i don’t know if she still needs to look after us, 2) i told her about him working here and 3) i got involvedso AITA | AITA for telling mum she’s wrong? | NTA |
10uv02c | So I've never been to a rave before, my partner has been too many in the past and I know he enjoys this a lot. He is coming too my city for a upcoming rave this March, seeing as we haven't spent any time together being long distance and he's only here for a couple days I suggested what if I come?He shut this down immediately and stated because he "knows me" I wont be into it as I don't typically listen too that type of music and is adamant I wouldn't like it. The thing is I have never even been too something like this, and usually am an outgoing person and like to have fun and a good time. He just said why did I have too make it awkward for asking. It kind of upset me a bit because I'm not even given a chance, and I'm not the type of person to put on a sour face and ruin the mood or vibe if I'm not feeling it. I would like to experience one and was hoping too with my bf, especially as we haven't seen each other for so long and wanted too do something I know he likes but his reaction really threw me off so now I don't even want too mention it anymore. Should I just leave it be? Is this type of thing something people sometimes want too go on their own and with friends, and I might ruin the experience?Gay relationship if that matters, currently long distance and will be in my city for 5days while this rave is on. Partner(24) and I am (29)We have been long distance for the past year, but did live together for close too 3 years during the pandemic when there was no raves or festivals happening. AITA for wanting to come along? Should I just drop this as it's something he enjoys and believes I would hate it. | AITA for wanting too go to a rave with my partner but he doesn't want me too? | NTA |
10v1fhp | I (25F) have a boyfriend (24M) who will be going overseas for a few weeks for a business trip. As I don’t like to be apart for too long, he suggested he can pay for my flights to join him for a small portion of his business trip. As it’s in a continent and country that I’ve never been to before, I thought I could make the most of the trip, especially as he told me in advance that he likely won’t be able to spare much time with me at all. This means your typical 9-5 is definitely out of the question, I might not even get a weekend and we might not even spend dinners together. I still agreed to go because it would be nice to spend time together and be together but when I told him that I would like to visit a neighbouring country for the weekend, he said he might not be able to. I said that’s fine, I can go by myself. He got upset and told me that he’s turned off by my reaction, it seems like I’m going to fulfil my holiday dreams rather than to spend time with him. The country in question is a country he’s been to before but I haven’t, and we’ve spoken about visiting it together one day. I said I will still like to go with him, but if he can’t spend time with me, I may as well make the most of it and visit some other cities while I have free time all to myself. He said that it seems like my priority is to have a vacation and I’m using his generosity as an opportunity to fulfil my selfish needs. I understand where he’s coming from but I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal because from my perspective, I’m not eating away at our time together and I am using an opportunity and making the most of time spent apart, instead of sitting and waiting around for him to finish work in the one city. Now he doesn’t want to pay for my flights (fair enough) but he doesn’t even want me to come at all. Am I okay in wanting to make the most of this trip or AITA? | AITA for wanting to make the most of a trip? | NTA |
10uasfe | Sorry for bad posting, this is my first post for Reddit.I had to leave my apartment for a week as my partner is having a medical situation, our pet and I had to find other accommodations until my partner’s situation got better. because of that, I reached out to a friend to see if I could stay with them for that week. The friend agreed and said I could use the guest bedroom for that time, so when I got down I set my stuff and and stayed in the room. Well last night we had a group of friends over as a get together cause I hadn’t seen them in awhile and I thought it would be nice to catch up. (The home owners agreed to the party, I didn’t just invite people over to their house.) well the night carried on and we got to drinking, so everyone decided to stay for the night. It was really late into the night/morning when I got so tired I decided to go to bed before everyone else had settled down for the night, and while I was heading up to the guest room I was staying in, our one friend (We’ll call her Tammy) shot me a look and asked if I was going to the bed. I told Tammy “yeah, it’s where I’ve been for the last few days while I’m staying in town.” And Tammy just shoots me this annoyed angry look and just replies “Okay.” Very passive aggressively. Tammies boyfriend recognized this look on her face, and he just told tammy it was okay, they have an air mattress they can stay on, it’ll be fine for the night. But Tammy is now in this annoyed mood and just being passive aggressive. I just went to the room and called it a night. Normally when we get into these kind of parties Tammy and her boyfriend usually stay in the guest bedroom cause they are a couple and it doesn’t make much sense for the single folks to take a queen bed for themselves, which is fair, but none of the rest of us had prior plans to stay in the room. I know she’s complaining about it to the friends that own the house, but am I really the asshole for taking the guest bedroom even though it was promised to me for the week? Should I have just let them have it for the night? Again, the owners said the room was mine, and they are just staying for the night to recover for the drive home in the morning (30 minute drive away). | AITA For not giving up the guest bedroom to a couple? | NTA |
10uoe74 | I (18F) am having a hard time forgiving my (18M) friend and he thinks it’s not fair. A few months into my course and one of my classmates and I realised that we were childhood friends. Let’s call him H.We were once talking online and I accidentally revealed that my ex was a girl. He asked me if I were bisexual to which I had a fuck it moment and replied with a ‘yes’. He told me that he was too. I recently figured out that the guys in my class talk shit on me on one of their group chats. I haven’t done much except given them the occasional side eye and shut them up a couple of times for saying vile shit. It wasn’t anything severe. I guess they couldn’t handle it.I was curious and I NEEDED to know what they were saying about me. H was also on that group-chat. So I asked for his phone.The way they talked about me was just evil. Pure horrid intentions. Everything ranging from my looks to my marks was scrutinised. It was a rough read. I had never felt worse about myself. They were evil.After this H decided that he was gonna sort of create distance between himself and those guys. He would still talk to them in order to not be picked on, but just less.Recently, I noticed that he was getting closer to them instead of the opposite. It made me upset.One day I decided to be upfront and tell him that i can’t be friends with someone who associates with people like them. He claimed it was for ‘survival’.I called bullshit. You don’t need to be in their inner circle to survive. He NEEDED their validation. They were assholes when he wasn’t getting their approval, then suddenly when he got their validation, ‘they’re not so bad’. “Don’t take it personally, they say this about everyone” Fuck him for saying that.Not only this, all of our conversations now revolve around him. All. The. Time. The minute he has something to say, something he can’t share with the dudes because they’re homophobic as fuck. He dumps it on us and leaves. When it’s about him, we’re supposed to listen with undiverted attention but the minute it’s about us his go to line is “Don’t think about it so much, go study. I’ll study too.”He also makes a lot of sexual jokes. I get that he’s never had a queer friend in real life before and he’s always had to repress his sexuality but he crosses the line sometimes. He’s made weird sexual jokes about the crush of our mutual friend. And the things is that he knew she REALLY liked him. I spoke to him about everything, he claims that he’s sorry and that he wants to do better. He won’t stop talking to the guys but he’s gonna be better about listening to us. I reluctantly agreed but I was passive aggressive this entire week. Every time I see him I either make fun of him or I’m rude.He noticed this and he says it’s not fair and that he needs time to work on himself. I know he’s sincere but I just can’t seem to forgive him. I want to do better and forgive him but I just can’t.AITA? | AITA for not being able to give him another chance? | NTA |
10uuu6c | I'll keep it as short as I can - we're a production outfit of about 30 people including an office, a main production site and some smaller satellite sites. I (31 M) worked at both the main production and smaller sites for about ten years and maintain a good relationship with all my old teammates. I've been in the office for about three years and get on well with everyone there, except one person. She (24 F) is the newest member of the team and we've simply never gelled, I get a very unpleasant vibe from her.She's been in post about a year, I made several efforts to make friends early on but eventually gave up as the gesture was not reciprocated. She's idealistic, self-oriented and often pretty rude. She comes from money and really looks down on the guys who've worked their way up from the bottom, me included. We all know our trade inside out and only a few weeks into her job she was rudely asking very experienced people if they "even know what [basic industry knowledge] really is". We're a close community and tend to sort ourselves out if there's a problem but on more than one occasion she's gone over people's heads and caused a lot of trouble for some of my colleagues. For these reasons I keep her at arm's length, it's clear to me we simply aren't each other's type of person. I wish her no ill but we don't ever talk beyond mildly uncomfortable pleasantries, we have separate workstreams and no need to interact and this is all fine by me. I genuinely wish her well, but no thanks.My band played a local gig and I invited 90% of my colleagues because I wanted them to be there. I didn't include her on the invite list (email) because of the above, and I omitted a couple of older field guys because I knew it wouldn't be their thing. We openly discussed the gig around the office several times with her in the room (before I sent the invites out) and she made no effort to take part in any conversation (she usually pipes up with most matters) so I surmised this was mutual non-engagement.After a really fun gig, she claimed bullying by exclusion. The rest of the office that could make it had a great time and so did I, but on the following Monday I found myself explaining to her manager that I didn't "not want her there" I just didn't "want her there". It wasn't a work do, it was a social event. There have been no formal proceedings but I'm still pretty unhappy she's kicked up a fuss, which has brought about bad feelings to what I beleived to be a non-issue. Proceedings or not, word of these kind of things spread and I'm feeling tarred as a guy who picks on the youngest girl in the office.AITA for not inviting her? | AITA for excluding one office colleague from my band's gig invites? | NTA |
10togpu | My dad (53M) has a girlfriend. They’re pretty serious, they’ve been dating a couple of months. My mom (46F) passed away a couple of months ago. My dad, since then, now has a new girlfriend. “Tammy”. (48F)For a while, I felt like an asshole because she hadn’t done anything for me to not like her. My dad and his friends kept getting on me to be nicer, how my mom would want me to like her and to move on, whatever. I didn’t even get a bad vibe from her, I just didn’t like her. But, who boy, did that change. Drastically.I’m 18, I live at home, I’m currently enrolled in college as a full-time student. Anyway, my dad felt compelled to mention to Tammy that my room could be organized (by her.) Weird, but I didn’t want to say no, at least not in front of my dad. She then decided to, “start the process” by, starting to attempt to rip the posters and pictures off of my wall. She stopped after I told her to. Then, oh then, came the contacts. I woke up this morning and unbeknownst to me, she came over earlier to help my dad clean our house. I internally groaned when I woke up and heard her voice, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, I woke up and went to the bathroom to put in my contacts, which are daily pairs, hey’re kept in a little storage box on the back of our toilet. So, I went to grab a pair, and….nothing was there. Not even the box where they came from, which I need to remember my solution when time comes for ordering more.I start looking around, in the cabinets, under the sink, even in the trash can in the bathroom. Everything was empty. A horrifying thought came over me. I went into the living room, and asked them if they had moved my contacts. My dad said no, genuinely. Tammy on the other hand, she looked at me, with zero guilt, and said, “oh…so that’s what those were?”Panic sets in. I find out she “accidentally” threw them out last night. I freak out, because I have the worst vision in the world and can’t see clearly 3 feet in front of me without them. So I blow up, to which she responds by saying it was my fault for leaving them out, how if I didn’t want to lose them, I should’ve put them up. I paid for those contacts with the money I got from my mom’s life insurance (it wasn’t a lot). If any of you know shit about contacts, you’ll know they’re expensive. I couldn’t afford to go out and buy a new supply.My dad isn’t talking to me now, because he thinks I’m overreacting. He agrees with Tammy, and says if I didn’t want them lost, they should’ve been kept safe. He’s also refusing to buy me a new supply, on her insistence. I asked if he planned to buy me more to compensate for the loss, to which he didn’t say anything at first, but to which Tammy said I needed to learn my lesson and some people have to learn the hard way that not everything in life is free, whatever the hell that means.So, TLDR; My dad’s girlfriend totally accidentally threw away my contacts, and then acted like it was my fault. AITA? | AITA for yelling at my dad’s girlfriend for “accidentally” throwing away my contacts? | NTA |
10urpsw | My friend (39m) has been a widow for 6 months now. He has been grieving, as they were married for 13 years. I suggested he go out with some friends and have dinner. He calls me and tells me he’s home early and didn’t have the best time. But his wife’s step mom was coming over to drop some items off for his son, her grandson. Whatever took place caused them to end up having hooked up multiple times that night. AITA for telling him and her both it’s weird and can confuse the kid later on? They both want to continue this. She was the wife’s step mother since she was 7, and is also a widow as her husband passed away in 2018. | AITA for telling my friend he’s wrong | YTA |
10th549 | My (37m) sister (29f) is getting married in June. I have two daughters one neurotypical (7f) and one high needs nonverbal autistic daughter (5f). My sister made a rule about her wedding no kids under 5, which I think was a "polite" way of excluding my disabled child. My wife or myself would have immediately took her outside if she had a meltdown. As my 6 year old nephew (also neurotypical) just "made the cut" and gets to go, there's only two other children under 5 in the family no known disabilities yet. I understand her wedding her choice, but I'm not okay with including one of my daughters but not the other. Problem is my 7 yr old daughter really wanted to go, she's a real "girly girl" loves pretty dresses, princesses, fairies, and yes brides too. She was excited getting to see her aunt in a bridal gown (the last wedding she went to she was too young to remember). Since it is my sister I don't feel right missing her wedding so we are going without the girls and my in-laws will watch them that night. She's upset she doesn't get to go, and my sister says I'm fostering resentment but I think Im teaching my daughter it's not okay to exclude family due to a disability. The way I see it it's my sister who created this situation, not me. AITA?EDIT CORRECTION: Rule is no kids 5 and under, my apologies should have specified that. | AITA for not bringing NT daughter to my sister's wedding due to autistic child not being invited | YTA |
10v4q7h | My engagement ended 2 months ago and ever since there’s been a divide in our friendship group. The majority of our friends have tried to remain neutral but there are some who have very clearly taken his side even though nobody besides us knows why we decided to break things off.We went to a party and I arrived late so when I found my friends there wasn’t anywhere for me to sit. Lydia, who is best friends with, Sophia, who I’m 80% sure is sleeping with my ex, made a remark about how there was no space for me so I would have to go sit somewhere else. She said it like it was a joke but considering how they’ve been behaving towards me and what I suspect about Sophia I knew it wasn’t one. I was going to go look for an empty seat to drag over but another friend jokingly said I could sit on my ex’s lap as he wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t have done it but my ex said I wouldn’t be able to handle sitting on his lap which annoyed me so I sat on his lap.While some of my friends found it funny, Lydia and some others were complaining and said I was being inappropriate and that we should get a room if we were going to act like this. It kind of ruined the mood because they wouldn’t stop complaining and eventually my ex and a few others went outside which still wasn’t enough for them to move on as they continued making comments about me and how inappropriate I was.AITA? | AITA for sitting on my ex-fiancé’s lap? | ESH |
10v4pki | My 15-year-old daughter showed me on her online high school portal an assignment from his history teacher which stated:> You must listen to Chapo Trap House, and compare and contrast articles on the phenomenon. You are also required to write one article in support of the phenomenon as if you were an adult living in 2016, and one against it, from this perspective. Write in-character for this. Also state if you enjoyed the material too, writing from a historian's perspective.I decided to anonymously contact my daughter's school principal under a generic-named Gmail account I set up in 2013 for things I don't want to my main email account (adverts etc.), and inform her of this, and am now waiting on a reply. I didn't state anything that could identify myself.Isn't now a bit too soon to start studying the Chapo Trap House movement in school history lessons? My husband thinks so.AITA for being concerned about what my school is teaching. | AITA for anonymously contacting my daughter's school principal over something she had as a school assignment? | YTA |
10v4ms2 | I got into an accident a couple of months ago where my car stalled on the road and another driver totally wrecked me. I ended up in the emergency room.Ive since recovered, but ever since I haven’t been too keen on driving. I sometimes drive alone if it’s a quick run to the store or just to aimlessly drive to get reacquainted, but fast forward to now and every time I suggest that I drive; my sister’s jump to suggest someone else or assure me that’s it’s fine and they can actually drive.I know they may not feel comfortable with me driving because of my accident, but I feel like it’s important for me to get over my anxiety -- i also feel like they kinda think less of me. Even before my accident my older sister would make little comments about me being a distracted driver. It always kind of irked me.So I took the next opportunity to force my little sister to let me drive, I wouldn’t take no for an answer and I ended up driving us down to the store. It all went fine and my little sis drove us back.The next day we were all together again and I proudly told my older sister that I drove and it all went fine. When I asked my younger sister to back me up she hesitantly piped up and said “yeah , kinda..”. That made me pause and I said “what do you mean kinda ?” I was a bit taken aback because I thought I drove fine and there weren’t really any problems, but my sister continued on to say that i "stopped a bit early before stop signs" and "started slowing to soon." I got frustrated and explained why I did those things because I was a bit anxious and wanted to not make any mistakes at all, mind you, it was in the middle of the night and the headlights on the car were dim, so I was being extra careful and watchful. My older sister saw me getting agitated and told me to calm down cause I'm the one who asked and wanted an honest answer, but I felt like my sister was nitpicking and didn't want me to succeed. Negative feelings started boiling up as I kept insisting that they were calling me a bad driver and they kept insisting that "kinda" doesn't mean "badly". I felt really helpless and I'm not proud of it, but I kind of started crying and telling them that they always try to make me feel like I do things wrong. I was upset and left them, but when I calmed down I apologized and told them I was just in a bad mood. I still am genuinely upset and angry because I don't feel like it was a genuine judgement when I'm insecure about being behind the wheel. They never encourage me to drive. I felt like she was nitpicking when a simple "you drove fine" would've sufficed. So aita for getting upset? | AITA for blowing up at my little sister when she said I drove “kinda” well | YTA |
10v4kvq | Right now I do feel like the asshole but for context I was recently diagnosed as autistic. Me and my psychologist think that's the reason I hate people touching me or saying compliments about me about 10 minutes ago I asked my mum to stop calling me pretty or baby girl because it makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel worse about myself me after I asked she got mad and yelled at me saying that I have to get over myself and just do what others tell me to, I hate that I allowed myself to get mad at her back I yelled that I did my 18 years of not thinking for myself and I finally have learnt to not let others ignore my bounderis she then told me to suck it up and that I'm acting like a child. Am I the asshole?(Sorry for the bad text this is my first time posting) | AITA for asking my mum to not call be pretty | NTA |
10umbti | When I was born my mom opened a savings account for me, it's supposed to be a "future studies" account (but at the end of the day that's just a label).Anyways, I go to uni now and do a lot of work on my laptop, my previous laptop was really shitty to the point I had to pray for Office programs to work smoothly. Then one day I remembered the savings account so I bought a new laptop.Now my mom is mad because she thinks it was an unnecessary purchase, she argues that it's not my money since I didn't work for it and therefore I shouldn't have bought it, and she swears that I'm gonna use this new laptop to play video games. Since she thinks it's her money she has the right to take away my laptop as "punishment" for every little discussion we have.I told her that it's my money since it's to my name in MY bank account and that I used it for it's intended purpose because it helps me with my studies so she shouldn't take it away nor guilt trip me into believing that I do not deserve it. Now she calls me an AH for being disrespectful even though I just don't agree with what she says (all her "arguments" I mentioned previously). Now I wonder if I'm the AH and it is her money after all so she has the right to do and say all I wrote before | AITA for using money that was in my bank account? | NTA |
10tgni8 | My, 16f, mom is an addict so my and my brothers, both 14, don't see her much and haven't in almost a year now. My dad is a good dad but when it comes to girl stuff, he is utterly useless. He's also not working right now due to the hours not being there for him so he's really struggling. My school does provide period products but they won't provide tampons to girls under 18 for some unknown reason, and when you ask for more than one pad, the receptionist gets really shitty with you for no good reason. I asked my dad for money this morning because we're completely out at home and the receptionist wouldn't give me a spare yesterday. He asked what I needed money for and I told him it was for tampons. He said he hasn't got it and I said he also hasn't got the money to be doing extra laundry, because this is the sort of stuff I can't just live without. He told me to ask my mom, so I texted her and she still hasn't responded. I asked him again, and he lost his shit. I got angry back, I told him of one of the boys needed new socks that wouldn't be an issue or if we had no milk it'd br an issue, so why is it not okay for me to get what I need when they can get what they need. He told me to fuck off out of his face and the boys have been a bit arsey with me all day as well. I'm not sure if I'm being the asshole here. I know I need tampons, but I also know that they're not cheap and I pressured him a bit. AITA? | AITA for asking my dad for money for period products? | NTA |
10uwvpx | I 19F got into an argument with my shift manager who’s like in his 50’s today at work. We work at a deli As soon as I arrived to work my friend and coworker immediately told me that he was in a bitchy mood like always and I responded not surprised because he always is and never does anything except wash dishes. I made a mistake with an order and made the regular sized sandwich when it was supposed to be smaller, he noticed it and pointed it out to me and said “this is regular” and nothing else so I said just okay and continued with my work. Then as we’re preparing the order to be handed to the customer I saw him put it to the side so I grabbed it and gave it to the customer. Then he said to me “did you not make a smaller size” and I just responded saying that I thought we could just give it to them like that. He didn’t say anything and went up to his friend who he also lives with and started talking to her about it behind my back when I was right there and could hear him. I head him say something along the lines of “apparently we just do what we want now” but that’s all I could hear because he was trying to speak low. I then up went to his friend and asked why he was getting so worked up over a sandwich and she didn’t say anything and I guess he kinda heard me talking to his friend because he asked me what was up and I told him why he was getting so worked up over a sandwich and he said “excuse me” and went on to say that he wasn’t mad and that he clearly told me to make a smaller sandwich and didn’t and I said that I was never told to make another one he just pointed out that it was regular and he continued to lie and say that he told me he did but didn’t. I asked one of my coworkers to explain to him what we usually do when we accidentally make the wrong size which is that we usually sell it anyways because our general manager tells us to. He starts saying that he’s confused then. I begin to get mad because he kept repeating that he told me to make a smaller size. He then starts saying “I’m not going to argue with you” and I said okay then don’t argue and he responds saying “ if I were you I wouldn’t take that tone then says that he’s going to do something if I do” and I said “okay what are you gonna do?” And he said go home so I just walked out. AITA? | AITA for arguing with my manager? | NTA |
10uwu50 | For context I'm 21F - lived out of home for almost a year with my partner, it's my 22nd birthday next week! I grew up mainly with my single dad, I am an only daughter. We are super close and aways have been, however we never had much money growing up. My dad is now with my step mum, they've been together for about 4 years. She has 3 kids and 2 grand kids. 2 days ago my step mum posted in our family group chat that nobody will be getting presents this year for their birthday or Christmas. This has kind of thrown me through a loop since my father always gets me something, I dont mean anything extravagant or insanely expensive. Things like pot plants, DVDs or meaningful calanders or cards etc. And I am very happy with that! Due to the meaning behind it.I just feel kind of disheartened by this due to it being my first birthday out of home, and I want to message my dad how I feel about this situation.Would I be the asshole for bringing this up? | WIBTA for getting upset about presents? | NTA |
10uwtct | AITA; my boyfriend ordered pizza and I didn't eat itSo the last 4 weeks I've (33f) been trying to watch what I eat, trying to behave when it comes to carbs. I messed waaaaaay up last weekend, ate a ton of pizza popcorn and we went to bubbas and got all the fries and shrimp sandwiches. I wish I would have had more control but alas I did not. So this whole week I've been trying to extra healthy, making my own keto snacks, bread, meals, trying to behave I really want to lose the weight. Well tonight I was like, man I'm kinda hungry but I don't really have anything planned for dinner. And then I showed my boyfriend (32m) the keto bowls they have a papa John's. A little bit later he comes back in to the living room says he ordered dinner. He ordered papa John's which was super nice and I am grateful he got food for everyone (we live with my 2 kids 11 and 12).... buuuut he didn't get the keto bowl. It upset me a tiny bit but I was like meh that's OK. But then, he said, you gonna have some pizza? And I said oh no thank you! I said thank you for ordering the pizza. But he got mad because I didn't want to eat the pizza. And I told him I was grateful that he ordered the pizza but I really do want to try to behave and I don't feel like he's being supportive. I'm not trying to bitch about the pizza by any means. I told him I would have been more than happy to put in for some of it and even buy my own keto bowl. But he said that I ate popcorn so I'm not even trying to go into ketosis...and that I don't even know what that means. But I've been doing a lot of research on it and as long as you stay below a certain amount of carbs a day you will hit ketosis so the little bit of popcorn I had is ok. He told me that I am stupid so I told him he was being inconsiderate. But idk if he was actually being inconsiderate because he ordered pizza for everyone. So.... AITATLDR; I've been trying to do keto but my boyfriend doesn't support me. He ordered pizza for dinner tonight and I didn't eat it. But I was sure to let him know that I appreciated the thought, I just really want to lose weight.Little bit of back story, I've lived with my boyfriend going 2 years now, before that, I was a single mother of 2 boys for about 10 years, any time we ordered pizza, it would be a large stuffed crust pepperoni pizza, the boys would eat their pizza and I would eat their crust (it's always been their least favorite part) my 12 yo c ame out with his cheese stuffed crust not really knowng what to do with it, I told him I wanted it, and only peeled the cheese out if the bread, BF states, shell eat it when you offer but not when I do, I see how it is. But I only peeled the cheese out of the bread. I didn't eat the crust,only the cheese. | AITA for not eating the pizza my boyfriend ordered | NTA |
10ul8dv | I (18 F) am white. I have short hair that is buzzed on both sides and the back. Needless it's not long enough to put into ponytails. Today I planned on cooking. I don't like my hair getting in my face and asked my mom to braid it. Unfortunately, it was too short to go into one braid. So she separated it into 22 very tiny braids that start at the front of my hair and move to the back. I posted a picture on my Snapchat story and over the past 6 hours have been receiving messages from my (white) friends that these are cornrows and I'm not allowed to wear them. I was confused because I've worn these multiple times throughout my life and never knew the name of them. Upon googling, it does say that it's racist for a white person to wear them.Well, I got upset because I'm simply trying to cook and posted a video of myself saying that I wasn't trying to appropriate culture and simply had no other way to keep my hair back. Soon I received a bunch of snaps saying "hairband" or "wear a hat" and things like that. I received 17 messages in total. Now, I don't have many Snapchat friends and everyone on there is people who I care about. It was shocking seeing all this. So, I posted a final video with a hat saying: "are yall happy now?" This was 3 hours ago and I've received 8 more messages telling me I'm an asshole and a bitch and racist. These messages are all from people I know IRL and have some kind of acquaintance with. I have never been so disliked by my friends. 3 blocked me, 7 unfollowed me. It's making my anxiety spike. Another confusing thing is that only my white friends commented on it. None of my black friends said anything. But that may be because they don't want to deal with me or are used to it. I don't think I was racist/culturally appropriating, but I could be wrong.So, am I the asshole in this situation?EDIT: 2 braids, not 22. That was a typo. My apologies.EDIT 2: I'm not comfortable showing my face and don't know how to add images, but here is what [my hair looks like](https://images.app.goo.gl/Q5kwNc4FQjPCZ6sM9), but mine is 2-3 inches shorter. | AITA for wearing 2 small braids? | NTA |
10uv6wq | My aunt has recently moved into my house (she moved in a couple of months ago) and i really do love her. We're really close and in my culture I actually refer to her with a word that means "mom" and even everyone else in my family says shes like a second mom to me. However, she's been doing this one thing that really bugs me and today I just snapped.I(15F) am a very shy person. I like having my own space and retreat to my room often. I also struggle with depression and am very self conscious so I try to cover my body with loose clothes to hide myself. Recently, my aunt has been trying to come to my room after im done showering and getting dressed. It's just because she wants to talk to me in the morning but I don't like it, I dont wanna be seen naked by her!She gets really annoyed at this since when I was a baby she would change my diaper and bathe me so she's seen me naked but still, it feels different now that I'm older. Today I got really upset when she swung by room while i was getting dressed. I was still in my robe but even as she tried opening the door i just kept repeating to her "I'm getting dressed, i'm getting dressed". She got annoyed as always and pulled up her shirt over her chest and started saying things like "See? It's my boobs, youve seen mine now i can see yours. it's not even a big deal okay?" This made me really overwhelmed and upset so I shut my eyes tight and slammed the door and started shouting at her to leave me alone and go away.My moms really mad at how I reacted and agrees that her seeing me naked (or vice versa) isnt that big of a deal and I'm overreacting so, aita in this situation? | AITA for shouting at my aunt and slamming the door on her? | NTA |
10tyql0 | I 38M have 2 boys. Mark 12M and Steven 16M. Steven recently came home past his curfew, but it's not a reoccurring issue. He's got good grades, helps out around the house, and is generally respectful. He's a big help and because of that we are a little lenient with him. Sometimes you're having a good time and time slips by, no biggy. Mark is also a great kid, but he's been doing things that are just kind of conniving? First was Mark going into Steven's room. Mark told me with kind of a smirk that he found Steven had a pile up of dishes in his room, which isn't allowed. Once you're done with your food, I expect you to bring your dishes down at the end of the day. I talked to Steven about it, and he apologized. His punishment? Washing his dishes by hand. We have a dishwasher, but I felt it fitting to make him do it by hand. However, what concerned me was Mark shouldn't have been in Steven room in the first place. I get it, though. My older brothers room always seemed so cool when I grew up. But I told Mark to stay out of Steven's room unless he has Steven's permission. Another time, Mark came to us about Steven playing an inappropriate game. GTA V. My wife and I bought him the game. Mark didn't know about it cause we didn't want him playing it and being exposed to that content (yet). Mark was in Steven's room watching him play the game. He stayed to watch him play and told us later that night. Yet again, it seemed like Mark was getting a kick out of telling us. I sat Steven down and explained to him that while we are allowing him to have this game and are comfortable with him viewing mature material, I don't want him exposing Mark to it. Lastly was Steven coming home late from his friend's. Me and my wife knew he was late because when he gets home, he usually knocks on our door and lets us know. Plus, I heard him (clumsily) try to sneak in without us noticing. My wife was asleep at the time, so I just pretended not to hear and let it slide. However, the next morning, Mark brings it up with a grin. I asked Steven about it, and he admitted and apologized. I told him that if he was going to be late, he could have at least contacted us. I told him he couldn't go out for the rest of the weekend (I knew he was using the weekend to study anyway). The thing is, I want my kids to stick together. I also didn't appreciate Mark telling on his brother to humor himself. So I told Mark that since he enjoys telling on his brother so much, he's punished too (same punishment). Especially since steven admitted to coming home at a time past marks bedtime. After the kids had dispersed, my wife told me she didn't approve. I explained that Mark is clearly getting a kick out of getting Steven in trouble, but my wife explained that if Steven was following the rules, he wouldn't get in trouble in the first place. She thinks I'm being unfair to Mark. I doubled down, and now my wife is obviously bothered by my decision and making it very clear. Am I the asshole? | AITA for punishing both my kids? | NTA |
10v3wy6 | I (21f) haven't been feeling up for going out like i used to. Things have been a little different for me and i dont have the energy to listen to my friends' vent about their issues all the time. (same issues usually over and over again). I want to supportive and a nice friend as they have been friends with me for over 7+ years. But i am running out of energy and empathy. I don't want to talk about it to them because I'm sure they will think of me as being selfish. I don't think i am selfish, when it really matters i try my best to be with them. Sometimes i dont even think of it as a two way street. All i do is listen and not be heard because they always talk over whatever I'm saying. I don't really have any issues currently but have been very stressed about my academics and my future. So much so that i get panic attacks and everytime i cancel my friend starts being passive aggressive. I don't know what to do. | AITA for not wanting to go out? | NTA |
10uuvpd | I have been struggling with my mental health and it had been affecting my work. I asked for a position within the company with a less pressure involved but was not given that option, in fact my boss gave me an unjustified written warning, after I asked. I have successfully disputed the warning and it’s been taken off my employee record, but things have been tense ever since.He has now approached me this morning and has come up with a role that has less pressure and I would work on a 4 day week instead of 5. Now I have been applying for other jobs and have an interview lined up for what would be my dream job. However the interview is not until tomorrow and I’ve to give an answer to my current employer today. I definitely want to take the other role within this company as back up in case my interview is not successful. However I think I would feel bad if my interview is successful and I would move onto a new company within 2 weeks of me accepting the new proposed role in my current company. | WIBTA if I accept a new role and leave the company within 2 weeks of acceptance | NTA |
10uusbu | My work sometimes require me to do split shift with 3 to 4 hours break in between, going back home and back to work took around an hour, longer if there are traffic jam and also there is the cost of fuel,so i would just stay in staff rest area during that time, catching some needed sleep and restJon only work afternoon shift and came in few times for his break and each time he will just switch on the TV and watch his phone ( not once did he watch tv, as his face is stick to the phone from my observation ), then leave without switching off the TV,i would just switch off tv as no one is watching after he left, after an hour or 2, Jon return and when he saw the tv is off, he would start going on about why can't the TV stay on and why would anyone switch it offthe sound of tv always woke me from my restmany coworker is not happy with that also but only i voice my disconcert to himbasically i just ask him weather he is watching TV or his phone and can he either pick one to dothen he start about how he is watching both and i have no right to order him to do anythingi had just been woke up by the tv and not in a good mood and we got into a heated argument and someone from works council got involved and ended the argumentI personally have no problem with people wanting to watch TV during my rest, they have the freedom to do soBUTswitching on TV and not watching it and those who watch video on phone without headphone are justPS: Jon is the only one who switch on the TV for random show, other time the tv is on if there are sport match like football or rugby, most of the time tv is offaddon: i have ear plug and eye mask on but the placement of bed is so near the tv that it didn't help, also i don't own a carafter the argument worker community moved the bed to a corner further away from the tv INFO on work hours my normal hours is 9:30am till 5:30pm when i need to work shift it depend 9:30am till 3pm (sometime it can end at 4 or 5 pm) then 6.30pm till 9pm or 9:30am till 5pm then 8pm till 10:30pm | AITA for telling my coworker to either watch the TV or his phone during his break | YTA |
10trbib | My friends Kara and Tony are getting married tomorrow. I went to college with Kara and got to be buddies with Tony too over the last couple years they've been dating so they asked me to be in the wedding.This AM Tony came to me and told me Kara wants me to shave my beard cause all the other men in the wedding are clean shaven and it'll "ruin the photos". I said no and she FREAKED. Let me clarify, my beard isn't particularly long and I get it styled by my barber so its not uneven or scruffy.I hate the way I look without a beard since I have a total babyface. I haven't shaved since college, funny enough Kara is probably the only person I still talk to who's even seen me without it. If I shaved it it would take me months to grow it back.I offered to just not be in the wedding party, but that would mean she'd have to drop a bridesmaid which she doesn't want to do either. Now everyone is ganging up on me and saying to just suck it up and shave the thing off so she's happy. I really don't want to do it and I'm standing my ground.AITA? | AITA for refusing to shave my beard for my friend's wedding? | NTA |
10uw9ek | My grandma 76F and grandpa lived few minutes away from us. Grandpa died a month back. I have 2 aunts who lives far with their inlaws. My grandpa gets pension, so will grandma. Me (17F), mom and dad live in a 2bhk house. Mom and my relationship with grandma is very sour. 10 years back when we used to live together, she abused my mom, taunted her, humiliates my mom's family. So tbh I HATE her. Idk about that,he thinks he is the son, so she is his responsibility. I belong to an asian country where parents are responsible for the kid until they complete college not like we have to be financially independent at 18 itself and my dad wants me to do masters too.I am to go to college in a different city hostel in the next 6 months. He wants me to share my room with grandma now. But she is like a spy who overhears everything we talk among ourselves, misinterprets it and talk about it to outsiders and her daughters. She need someone to help her go to washroom, someone to bring her food which I know I'll have to do once she starts living here.We have a flat nearby, I told dad she should stay there as its vacant and not in my room occupying half of it. My room is my everything. I spend my whole day there studying and sleeping. As she can't stay alone she could keep a caretaker or dad could stay there, and I can stay here with mom, as the distance is 15 mins by car. My dad said I am being inconsiderate. But I don't want to be not free to speak with my mom as I desire or share my room with a person whom I hate. I said grandma is dad's responsibility, not mine or my mom's. I have not inherited any ancestral property, nor my dad. So I don't owe them anything. That flat was bought by dad, with his own money. They made 4 parts of small amount of money they saved and gave 1 part each to my aunts, dad and kept 1 part for emergency. Dad used his part for the interiors of the flat, so I told him to take grandma there. AITA for not taking care of the old lady? | AITA for not sharing room with my paternal grandma? | NTA |
10ub0yx | My sister planned a 40th birthday cruise for her husband in 2020. My parents and myself (plus my husband and two kids) were the only people who said we’d come. The trip got canceled due to covid. Then my sister wanted her kids to be vaccinated for covid so got postponed again. Kids are now vaccinated and she could’ve planned it for this year, but wanted her kids to be a little older to make the trip easier. So now it is planned for 2024. I turn 40 in 2024 and my husband is planning a trip to Italy to see a Formula 1 race for my birthday. We can’t go to Alaska and Italy in the same year due to vacation time. I think my sis is wrong for not delaying the trip one more year so we can join. My mom says I should delay my birthday trip by a year so we can go on the Alaskan cruise. AITA for not wanting to reschedule my birthday trip? | AITA for not rescheduling my 40th birthday trip | NTA |
10ub4w2 | I've been with my girlfriend for six months, we don't live together yet. I love my girlfriend and we have a lot in common with each other but the one thing that differentiates us is that she doesn't drink or do drugs at all. Not even wine with dinner. She's not an ex addict, she just doesn't like drinking. I however go out partying most weekends, I also like to smoke weed from time to time. Earlier this week one of my pals invited me to a party he was throwing at his house. So of course I agreed, plus my girlfriend was working this weekend so we didn't have anything planned. On Thursday I was at my parents house and I invited my younger sister to come with me. The party was on Friday. Obviously we all got drunk and my sister left in an Uber around 2am while I stayed overnight at my mates and went home at like 10am on Saturday. When I met up with my girlfriend in the afternoon and told her that I went to a party she became upset with me. She said that I should have invited her instead of sister. So I told her that she wouldn't have come anyway because not only was she working but also she never comes to any parties with me. And she told me it's just the fact that I didn't ask that makes her upset. So was AITA? | AITA for taking my sister to a party instead of my girlfriend? | NTA |
10v3map | Met a guy on tinder and hit it off, he has kids so I knew it would only be every second weekend we could meet, and we also lives 1 hour away from each other. We met 4 times, with sleepovers and things where going well, though something felt ”off”. He was coming over midweek Wednesday and the weekend after he was childfree. During the day I talk to a friend who lives 2 hours away and she asked to stay with me that weekend, as she always stays with me. So I text him and asks if he’s okay with that. He’s disappointed that we won’t see each other, says he doesn’t like sudden changes and that it’s not okay to ask, when he can’t say no. I apologize for the last part, cause I agree. But I didn’t understand the sudden change part as it was 1½ week in advance.We talked that evening, I said that while I understood that he could only see me every other weekend – I didn’t want to always met those weekends. He said he wanted to be girlfriend/boyfriend, and I said I wouldn’t date him if I didn’t think we could be headed that way, but I wasn’t there and I wasn’t sure. We went to sleep. Next morning he said he felt I said one thing but my face said another and he wanted us to be official now. I don’t know what me face told him, but I promise my mind and mouth was on the same page. We had a long conversation again I was feeling like we weren’t really compatible after all, and I ended things. He left, but shortly after the text started coming in. Constantly and all day, begging me to reconsider or asking why I even wanting him to come over, and why I changed my mind from the day before. I tried to explain that I didn’t really change my mind, I wasn’t sure, but from the mornings conversation I came to realize that this just wasn’t going to work, I didn’t blame him, but really, he showed how he didn’t listen to me, but only heard what he wanted to. He calmed down in the evening and I said I wasn’t going to take him back, but we could talk in few days (probably a dumb idea, cause he saw that as an opening)The day after he posted a picture of him at the hospital caption “so this Friday didn’t went as expected”, then texted me that he had a myocardial infarction. I said I was very sorry to hear, and hoped he would be alright. A few hours later he deleted the post, and sent me a long text about he would never open up again, and he learnt not to fall in love cause no one would love him back, but that he forgave me. I didn’t respond to that. an hour later he texted again that reactions said it all, as he would come to me if I was sad, but when he was potentially dying I reacted like he broke his finger… I said it was best to cut contact and wished him all the best and then blocked him.I feel bad about it, but it’s an extreme reaction to a month long relationship… I’m honestly not sure if he really did have a heart attack, but if he did, was I too cold? was I TA? | AITA for blocking a guy (40m) I(37f) known for a month who might have had a heart attack | NTA |
10uqxxi | I'm not going to state my exact age, but I'm still in highschool. I'm underweight, about 30 pounds(~13kg) under the national average for my age and sex. This is on the thin side, but definitely not too bad. I have tried to eat more etc to bring my weight up, however this just hasn't worked for me. Through most of my life, my family has called me things like "bag of bones", which considering that I've struggled with this all my life, is quite hurtful. On numerous occasions, I've asked them to please stop as I've often beaten myself up enough over this topic. However, after a month or two of not bringing it up, it would start again. This brings us to yesterday. My family started making jokes about how skinny I am, how I need to eat more, exercise to put on muscle, you get the idea. I asked them to stop, and my mom and sister said ok and moved on. However, my father kinda blew up at me(not uncommon), he began to rant about how I need to "not be so sensetive" and "toughen up", and that I shouldn't be so offended by a little jab or two(this wasn't little jabs, this was them explicitly making fun of me for being thin). So, asshole judges, AITA for asking them to not make fun of this aspect of my life? | AITA For asking that my family not make jokes about my weight? | NTA |
10v0702 | Background: I (21F) am going overseas to visit my dad with my cousin Melanie (20F). We are leaving in a few weeks and my cousin Margaret (22F) asked my family to join. The background is really long and complicated so I will try to be unbiased: Margaret and I had a falling out almost a decade ago, her mom forced her to go NC with the extended family, and Margaret has not reached out since.INFO: I recently learned it was her mother forcing Margaret to cut us (my sister and Melanie) out of her life and she was instructed to block us on social media for a number of years. I am not mad about that because we were kids, but I am upset because Margaret now speaks to Melanie and my sister, but not me. For my own reasons, I reached out to Margaret 3-4 years ago about wanting to have a relationship with my family and she agreed, but she has not made an effort to reach out since.I regularly talk to Melanie and told her she can give my number to Margaret if she asks. Honestly, I was hurt she didn't want to talk to me and I understand that is her choice, but I blocked her on social to force myself to move on.THE TRIP: Melanie and I are leaving soon and Margaret wants to come despite us not talking. My family said it was not a good time until her and I work out our issues and I found out today that my sister thinks I am the issue. She thinks it is all coming from me: that it is just me that does not want to talk to her. I wish Margaret well and hope she is ok, but IMO too much time has passed for me to have a close relationship with her at this point in my life.I reached out to her multiple times from 2016-2018 and the last time I reached out was 2019, she replied and has not once reached out to me. AITA for not wanting her to come on the trip? I just think it would be awkward if she came b/c we don't talk and it would make spending time with my dad a little difficult. | AITA for excluding a cousin on a vacation with my family? | NTA |
10ti9gg | I (f 22) have had one of the hardest weeks of my life this week. I am in the middle of Student Teaching and I am also in the process of finding a job for the 2023-24 school year. This week I had an interview, I had a principal observe me teach a lesson, I had a friend pass away this week. All while I’m still taking college courses, so I come home to homework in the evenings. My partner (25m) is aware of all of this and he is student teaching too. But he is not interested in getting a teaching job after graduation so he is not feeling the pressure near as much as me. He is also not enrolled in any college courses. Yesterday during the day, I texted him “I’m so hungry! I haven’t eaten real food in so long.” His response was “let’s go out to eat tonight! Or I’ll make dinner.” I said “omg yes PLEASE!!”I love when he cooks and I love when he takes me out. So I was excited. I had to stay after school for a couple hours yesterday to help my cooperating teacher with something, so I didn’t get to my partners place until 7pm. At 7:30 pm my partner starts making French toast sticks. Right before putting it in the microwave, he asks “did you want any?” This Immediately pissed me off. For obvious reasons I feel like. I was hungry, and he offered to feed me actual dinner. He noticed I was annoyed and asked why. I told him it was because I thought he was going to get me dinner. His response was “this is just a snack. I wasn’t thinking about dinner”. At this point, he said it wasn’t too late to think of what I wanted for dinner. But I was just mad at this point. It was 7:30pm and this isn’t his first time not following through on a plan.So I just grabbed my phone to order food. I am about to finish my order when he looks at my phone and says “so you’re not going to get me anything or ask if I want food?” At this point I was livid, all of a sudden, dinner plans were on me because he couldn’t follow through with the dinner plans he offered. We basically argued until I just walked out. AITA for getting upset over these dinner plans that didn’t follow through? Then trying to order my own food. Like I said, I’ve had a hard week and I honestly feel like I deserve more. If my partner offers to have dinner for me, that’s what I expect. Not French toast sticks at 7:30 pm on a Friday night after I haven’t eaten all day. His whole point is that he is exhausted from this week too. But I think that’s BS. Don’t make dinner plans then.[24 hours later… update::::](https://www.reddit.com/user/thesearemylens/comments/10uez2t/update_aita_for_walking_out_after_my_partner/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) | AITA for walking out after my partner didn’t have dinner plans made? | NTA |
10umyhz | Some Background - I (M26) lost my father when I was 18. Before he died, I was very close to my grandparents, and had spent most of my summers with them. My grandmother died a year before my father, and after about a year my father died. It was difficult to say the least, and while everything was going on, my grandfather was nowhere to be seen. He never visited and he never called. In the past 10 years I managed to graduated from uni, get my masters and went through a lot of other family issues. This morning, my brother sent me and my siblings a message that our grandfather is in the hospital, and asked if anyone was visiting him. I honestly felt that I don't feel obligated to go visit him, since he was not there when I needed him.As a side note, he is quite close with my cousins, and voluntarily spends time with them. He even drives them around. Meanwhile, he never made any effort with me and my siblings. So AITA? | AITA for not caring that my grandfather is in the hospital? | NTA |
10uuc5k | This isn't juicy like the other stories, but I just need confirmation here.Ok so my sister recently got a rabbit a few months ago and was really excited. We established BEFORE we got the rabbit that it would be her responsibility to take care of it. She is supposed to clean up after it, brush it, feed it, give it water, all the necessary things for a rabbit. She took care of it up until about two months ago. She works different times like from 7:00 - 1:00 and 12:00 to various times. I understand that she works a lot, but she's still here a lot of the time. At this point she's doing it on purpose because she will be home on her bed (which is right next to our rabbits food and water) and asks me to change his water and give him food (I sleep further away from all of his things). I understand she works a lot, but she's never tired from work, she stays up all night on Instagram talking to her friends and blasting music on her speaker. It's really annoying how she expects me to always take care of HER rabbit when she should be the responsible one (she's 16 almost 17 and I'm 13) it just makes no sense seeing how I'm always taking care of her rabbit that she AGREED to take care of when she easily can.I'm always busy trying to focus on my upcoming play and dance which takes a lot of practice which she doesn't respect most of the time. She's always getting upset when I don't do it, saying that I'm not doing anything ( remind you, she's not doing anything either ) and never picks up the rabbit's poop, the food he spills, and never brushes him, she just leaves it all to me. I still try to take care of him but it's hard to remember to do things. Besides all that, she literally wakes me up at night or in the morning just to feed him when she has way more than enough time. I told her to take care of it herself and she got mad at me. I constantly try to make her take responsibility again but she won't have it, we constantly argue about it, but in the end I always do it because I feel bad for the rabbit. And her reasoning for all of this is because she's always working and she deserves a break from doing things since she's always taking care of us. (She really doesn't take care of us and I end up watching over myself and the rabbit since I'm more mature than her and she's always going out with friends and going to her dad's house) So I'm just wondering, AITA for not wanting to take care of my sisters rabbit? | AITA for getting upset when I have to take care of my sisters rabbit? | NTA |
10u8wp0 | I (F30) am a registered nurse associate (RNA) on a busy ward with acutely unwell patients that are admitted straight from A&E. When I first qualified about 6 months ago I would do my job and I’d do it well. I have always been a team player and if I do say so myself, a bit of a push over, doing things that were asked of me that weren’t necessarily my responsibility. Every shift when I’d finished my own tasks, l would often help in other teams that were busier than mine. I know how stressful and overwhelming it can be when you’ve got seriously poorly patients.About 2 months ago I was working a day shift with another RNA and a ward Sister. My team was so busy that I barely made it through the day without a break down. I had 3 admissions within the space of an hour. One patient who’d had a stroke and was unresponsive, one having seizures who aspirated on vomit and a breathless patient that was struggling to breathe. While I was running around struggling, the other RNA sat at a her meds trolly on the computer the whole day. I’m not even exaggerating, she was sat there all day, she had no patient movement at all in her team and no poorly patients. She didn’t once offer me any help. On another occasion I had a patient admitted riddled with pressure ulcers to the point where I didn’t know what I was looking at and how to document them. I went to ask the 2 senior RNs sat at the nurses station for their help and they both fully ignored me. When I asked again they said they were busy. These are 2 of the nurses that normally take charge of the ward, who often go without breaks. I normally take it upon myself to do their admission paperwork for new patients so they can go get a break. anyway, to cut a long story short I feel like I’m always helping others but not getting the same in return. These are just 2 of the many things that have made me want to quiet quit, or at some points just plain quit. Last night I had a nice quiet team, while the same 2 RNs I was on with previously had around 4 admissions each and both didn’t get a full break. I didn’t offer them any help at all and I feel so guilty about it. It’s not in my nature to not help. AITA for deciding to no helping anyone with anything anymore. | AITA for quiet quitting at work? | NTA |
10tooib | My wife wants to go to a nice dinner. I agreed to it. However, she wants to go above and beyond and wants me to wear a suit. I Hate wearing suits, but I told her I’d do it if she wears a nice dress. Now, I didn’t say it; but it’s obvious that she would need to buy a new dress. I even offered to pay for it. Apparently this isn’t fair because she didn’t like the idea because a dress type I suggested would be more than what she’s comfortable wearing. She did however used to wear this type a couple years ago. Aita?Edit: I’m going to cancel our plans. Looks like we’re at an impasse. Thanks for chiming in. | AITA for telling my wife I would wear a suit to dinner if she wears a nice dress? | YTA |