dataset.csv

speaker;replica;ep_id
{system};[The episode opens with a bubble transition, and we see a coral reef under the sea. The camera zooms to initiate parallax scrolling, which reveals the city of Bikini Bottom. It continues zooming to show a brown rock, a Moai head, and a pineapple, which each contain inhabitants.];s1e1_1
French Narrator;Ah, the sea... so fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [shows from left to right Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. Zooms in on SpongeBob's house.] Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.;s1e1_2
{system};[Scene cuts to the house's bedroom. A sea snail, named Gary, is seen sleeping near a pile of newspapers on the floor, a scallop is seen in a birdcage, and a young, optimistic yellow sea sponge, named SpongeBob, is seen sleeping in his bed, snoring as his foghorn alarm clock ticks. SpongeBob's alarm then sounds. He wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile on his face, turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder, leading to his diving board.];s1e1_3
SpongeBob; [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ..naked! [lands inside his pants, then runs toward the exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants.] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.;s1e1_4
Gary;Meow.;s1e1_5
SpongeBob;"[taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a ""squeak"" noise] I'm ready! [runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [as he speaks, a dimwitted sea star's rock tilts upwards with a chubby pink starfish named Patrick stuck to its underside.]";s1e1_6
Patrick;Go, SpongeBob! [falls] Whoa! ;s1e1_7
{system};[crash sound effect];s1e1_8
SpongeBob;[runs down the street to the Krusty Krab] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [jumps in the air as the scene freezes and a title reads SpongeBob SquarePants];s1e1_9
French Narrator; SpongeBob SquarePants! ;s1e1_10
{system};[It shows SpongeBob running through various landscapes, as it shows a frozen scene of SpongeBob standing in front of the Krusty Krab the scene unfreezes and then the episode continues as normal];s1e1_11
{system};[bubble transitions to the Krusty Krab];s1e1_12
SpongeBob;There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'em straight in the eye [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye], lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [starts to run home, but Patrick stops him.] Hey, Patrick-;s1e1_13
Patrick;Where do you think you're going?;s1e1_14
SpongeBob;I was just...;s1e1_15
Patrick;No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get! That! Job!;s1e1_16
SpongeBob;I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough.;s1e1_17
Patrick;"Whose first words were ""May I take your order?""?";s1e1_18
SpongeBob;Mine were.;s1e1_19
Patrick;Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?;s1e1_20
SpongeBob;I did.;s1e1_21
Patrick;[grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh, who's uh, oh! And who's a big yellow cube with holes?;s1e1_22
SpongeBob;I am!;s1e1_23
Patrick;Who's ready?;s1e1_24
SpongeBob;I'm ready!;s1e1_25
Patrick;Who's ready?!;s1e1_26
SpongeBob;I'm ready! [runs toward the Krusty Krab.] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!;s1e1_27
{system};[A turquoise octopus is seen cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows. That octopus, named Squidward, is spraying stain remover and attempting to wipe off the graffiti.];s1e1_28
Squidward;" [cleaning  graffiti  of  himself  with  the  word  ""loser,""  sees  SpongeBob,  and  sighs]  Oh  no,  SpongeBob.  What  could  he  possibly  want? ";s1e1_29
SpongeBob; [in  background,  at  first  while  Squidward  was  talking]  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  I'm  ready!  Go,  SpongeBob!  Go,  SpongeBob!  Go,  SpongeBob!  Go,  self! ;s1e1_30
{system}; [Squidward  looks  at  the  Help  Wanted  sign,  screams,  and  runs  inside  to  warn  Mr.  Krabs] ;s1e1_31
Squidward;" [While  SpongeBob  says,  ""I'm  ready,""  one  more  time  in  the  background]  Mr.  Krabs!  [cuts  to  the  ordering  window,  where  a  greedy  crab  is  seen  happily  sniffing  a  handful  of  money.  Squidward  runs  up  to  him.]  Hurry,  Mr.  Krabs,  before  it's  too  late,  I  gotta  tell  you-  [interrupted  by  SpongeBob] ";s1e1_32
SpongeBob; Permission  to  come  aboard,  captain!  [deep  voice]  I've  been  training  my  whole  life  for  the  day  I  could  join  the  Krusty  Krew  [normal  voice]  and  now  I'm  ready! ;s1e1_33
{system}; [SpongeBob  trips  on  a  nail  stuck  in  the  floorboard.  He  bounces  back  and  forth  on  the  ground,  and  shouts  and  blurts  incomprehensibly  upon  each  hit.  The  restaurant  manager,  a  red  crab  named  Mr.  Krabs,  and  Squidward  look  at  each  other.  His  fall  causes  him  to  bounce  against  the  ceiling.  SpongeBob  yet  again  shouts  and  blurts  incomprehensibly  while  his  bounces  and  ricochets  around  the  building  accelerate.  He  then  rolls  to  a  stop  at  the  feet  of  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs.] ;s1e1_34
SpongeBob; So,  uh,  when  do  I  start? ;s1e1_35
MrKrabs; Well,  lad,  it  looks  like  you  don't  even  have  your  sea  legs. ;s1e1_36
SpongeBob; Mr.  Krabs,  please!  I'll  prove  I'm  fry  cook  material!  Ask  Squidward,  he'll  vouch  for  me. ;s1e1_37
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  and  Squidward  quickly  walk  away  from  SpongeBob.  Squidward  looks  at  Mr.  Krabs.] ;s1e1_38
Squidward; [deep  breath]  No. ;s1e1_39
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  winks.  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  head  back  to  SpongeBob,  who  looks  completely  puzzled  at  what  he's  hearing] ;s1e1_40
 Mr.  Krabs ; Well,  lad,  we'll  give  you  a  test,  and  if  you  pass,  you'll  be  on  the  Krusty  Krew.  Go  out  and  fetch  me...  a...  [SpongeBob  takes  out  a  notepad]  uh,  hydrodynamic  spatula...  [SpongeBob  quickly  jots  down  what  he  says]  with,  um,  port-and-starboard-attachments,  [more  scribbling]  and,  uh...  turbo  drive.  [more  scribbling]  And  don't  come  back  �til  you  get  one.  [puts  a  Krusty  Krab  crew  hat  on  SpongeBob's  head.] ;s1e1_41
{system}; [SpongeBob  sees  how  he  looks  in  a  mirror,  there  are  sparkles  on  his  hat,  and  he  has  a  huge,  satisfied  smile] ;s1e1_42
SpongeBob; [saluting  Krabs]  Aye  aye,  captain!  [reading]  One  hydrodynamic  spatula,  with  port-and-starboard  attachments,  turbo  drive,  coming  right  up,  sir!  [salutes  again] ;s1e1_43
 Mr.  Krabs ; Carry  on!  [SpongeBob  leaves]  We'll  never  see  that  lubber  again. ;s1e1_44
Squidward; [smiling]  You're  terrible.  A  hydro-what? ;s1e1_45
{system}; [Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  laugh.  While  Squidward  laughs,  his  nose  moves  distinctly  while  he  inhales  and  exhales.  Mr.  Krabs'  laugh  sounds  like  a  pirate.  As  they  laugh,  SpongeBob  is  shown  leaving  the  Krusty  Krab.  As  SpongeBob  fades  out  of  sight,  five  buses  drive  toward  the  Krusty  Krab  from  the  opposite  direction.] ;s1e1_46
 Bus  driver ; Hey!  Hey!  Please!  Passengers  are  to  stay  seated  and  not  put  their  fins  out  the  window! ;s1e1_47
{system}; [The  five  buses  surround  the  Krusty  Krab  and  the  bus  doors  open.  Mr.  Krabs  stops  laughing.  Squidward  also  stops  laughing  but  embarrassingly  smiles  at  Mr.  Krabs'  attentive  gesture.] ;s1e1_48
 Mr.  Krabs ; [gasps]  That  sounded  like  hatch  doors!  [sniffs  repeatedly]  Do  you  smell  it?  That  smell...  A  kind  of  smelly  smell...  A  smelly  smell  that  smells...  smelly...  [his  eyes  widen]  Anchovies. ;s1e1_49
Squidward;What?;s1e1_50
 Mr.  Krabs ;Anchovies!;s1e1_51
{system};" [The  anchovies  get  out  of  the  buses  and  rush  inside  the  Krusty  Krab,  crowding,  repeating  the  word  ""eat""  over  and  over  again] ";s1e1_52
Squidward; Please,  please,  quiet!  [the  anchovies  stop  talking]  Is  this  any  way  to  behave,  hmm? ;s1e1_53
Anchovy;Eat.;s1e1_54
Squidward; Could  we  show  a  little  decency  and  form  a  neat,  single  file  line  in  front  of  the  register? ;s1e1_55
{system};" [The  anchovies  stare  for  a  moment,  then  pick  up  the  boat,  as  their  cries  of  ""eat!""  become  more  intense.  Cut  to  Barg'N-Mart  as  SpongeBob  enters.] ";s1e1_56
SpongeBob; [singing  to  himself]  Barg'N-Mart,  meeting  all  of  your  spatula  needs. ;s1e1_57
{system}; [Cuts  back  to  the  Krusty  Krab.  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  are  still  in  the  boat  register,  and  being  tossed  around  like  a  ship  in  a  storm.] ;s1e1_58
 Mr.  Krabs ; All  hands  on  deck!  Get  your  anchors  out  of  your  pants! ;s1e1_59
Squidward; One  single  file  line  is  all  I  ask! ;s1e1_60
 Mr.  Krabs ; Whoa!  [he  and  Squidward  are  thrown  up  in  the  air]  Batten  down  the  hatches,  Mr.  Squidward!  [they  get  thrown  back  up  again with  Krabs  clutching  Squidward]  I  want  my  mommy,  Mr.  Squidward!  [cuts  to  Barg'N-Mart] ;s1e1_61
SpongeBob; [singing]  Do  do  do  do  do  do,  spatula,  spatula,  port-and-starboard  attachments. ;s1e1_62
{system}; [Cuts  back  to  the  Krusty  Krab.  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  are  sent  towards  a  pole  by  a  wave  of  anchovies.] ;s1e1_63
Squidward;Help!;s1e1_64
 Mr.  Krabs ; Man  overboard!  Climb,  Mr.  Squidward!  Climb!  [They  climb  the  mast,  while  the  anchovies  try  to  get  them  down.  The  anchovies  then  form  a  big  wave  twice.] ;s1e1_65
{system}; Eat!  Eat! ;s1e1_66
 Mr.  Krabs ; This  is  the  end!  [shaking  hands  with  Squidward]  Goodbye,  Mr.  Squidward! ;s1e1_67
Squidward; Oh,  Mr.  Krabs! ;s1e1_68
{system}; [Mr.  Krabs  and  Squidward  cry,  then  SpongeBob  comes  in  with  red  lights  flashing  and  flying  with  the  spatula,  singing  a  heroic  tune] ;s1e1_69
SpongeBob; Permission  to  come  aboard  captain!  Da  da  da  da  da  da  da!  Da  da  da  da  da  da  da  da  da  da!  Did  someone  order  a  spatula? ;s1e1_70
 Mr.  Krabs ; [stuttering  in  shock  at  SpongeBob  getting  the  hydrodynamic  spatula] ;s1e1_71
SpongeBob; That's  right!  One  hydrodynamic  spatula  with  [two  spatulas  pop  out  on  the  sides  of  the  previous  one]  port-and-starboard  attachments!  And  let's  not  forget  the  turbo  drive!  [the  two  extending  spatulas  twirl  around  and  smack  Squidward  and  Mr.  Krabs  in  the  face]  Would  you  believe  they  only  had  one  in  stock?  To  the  kitchen!  [to  the  anchovies]  Who's  hungry?! ;s1e1_72
{system};" [Tiny  Tim's  ""Living  in  the  Sunlight,  Loving  in  the  Moonlight""  plays  while  SpongeBob  flies  through  the  kitchen  window.  A  montage  of  SpongeBob  making  and  serving  Krabby  Patties  plays.  SpongeBob  crashes  into  a  box  of  patties  and  shoots  them  with  his  eyes  toward  the  grill.] ";s1e1_73
{system};" [SpongeBob  becomes  a  number  ""1""  followed  by  ascending  numbers  up  to  ""4.""  He  squeezes  a  bottle  of  ketchup  and  mustard  on  Krabby  Patty  to  form  a  smiley  face.  He  adds  a  patty  and  the  rest  of  the  toppings  on  top  of  the  lower  bun  to  form  a  Krabby  Patty.  SpongeBob  serves  the  Krabby  Patty.  Some  of  the  anchovies  noticed,  and  one  of  them  caught  a  Krabby  Patty.  All  of  the  anchovies  look  toward  the  window  to  anticipate  more  Krabby  Patties.  SpongeBob  then  serves  up  Krabby  Patty  after  Krabby  Patty.  He  repeats  chopping  vegetables  and  serving  yet  more  Krabby  Patties.  Numerous  Krabby  Patties  are  launched  through  the  order  window  to  the  hungry  anchovies.] ";s1e1_74
 Mr.  Krabs ; That  was  the  finest  fast-foodsmanship  I've  ever  seen,  Mr.  SquarePants.  Welcome  aboard.  [gives  SpongeBob  a  name  tag] ;s1e1_75
Squidward; B-but,  but,  Mr.  Krabs... ;s1e1_76
 Mr.  Krabs ; Three  cheers  for  SpongeBob!  Hip-hip! ;s1e1_77
Squidward; [weakly]  Hooray,  Mr.� ;s1e1_78
 Mr.  Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_79
Squidward; [quickly]  Hooray. ;s1e1_80
 Mr.  Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_81
Squidward; [quickly]  Hooray.  Mr.  Krabs� ;s1e1_82
 Mr.  Krabs ; I'll  be  in  my  quarters,  counting  up  the  booty.  [wheels  a  wheelbarrow  piled  with  an  enormous  stack  of  cash  to  his  office.  As  he  walks  towards  his  office,  Patrick  enters] ;s1e1_83
Patrick; Good  morning,  Krusty  Krew! ;s1e1_84
Squidward; What  would  you  like  to  order,  Patrick? ;s1e1_85
Patrick; One  Krabby  Patty,  please. ;s1e1_86
{system};" [The  instrumental  to  ""Living  in  the  Sunlight,  Loving  in  the  Moonlight""  starts  playing.  SpongeBob  flies  back  to  the  kitchen,  using  his  spatula] ";s1e1_87
Squidward;What?;s1e1_88
{system}; [A  score  of  Krabby  Patties  is  immediately  fired  through  the  servery,  which  Squidward  dodges,  colliding  into  Patrick  and  sending  him  flying  out  of  the  Krusty  Krab.  Cuts  to  Krusty  Krab  exterior [crashing noise.];s1e1_89
Patrick;[screams];s1e1_90
Squidward; Mr.  Krabs!  Mr.  Krabs!  Mr.  Krabs,  come  see  your  new  employee! ;s1e1_91
{system};" [The  final  instrumental  of  Tiny  Tim's  ""Livin'  in  the  Sunlight""  plays  (xylophone  solo,  followed  by  a  timpani  beat  and  a  final  note),  and  the  further  sounds  of  shooting  Krabby  Patties  and  smashed  glass  play  at  the  same  time,  ending  the  episode] ";s1e1_92
{system}; [The  episode  opens  up  with  SpongeBob's,  Patrick's,  and  Squidward's  houses.] ;s1e2_1
{system}; [The  scene  pans  to  show  that  everything  on  his  lawn  is  clean,  except  for  a  seashell  on  the  left  side  of  it.] ;s1e2_2
{system}; [The  camera  shows  Squidward  angry.  He  walks  over  to  the  seashell,  looks  around,  and  kicks  it  onto  SpongeBob's  lawn  while  whistling  casually.] ;s1e2_3
{system}; [The  scene  then  changes  to  show  SpongeBob's  house.  As  soon  as  the  window  opens,  SpongeBob's  face  is  shown.  He  exits  through  his  window  and  sits  on  its  rim.  He  notices  the  seashell  on  his  lawn,  he  gets  an  idea  and  starts  sliding  to  the  back  of  his  house  to  his  garage  to  get  a  reef  blower.  The  giant  backpack-like  container,  with  a  blower  hose,  which  looks  like  a  jet  engine,  a  power  switch,  and  a  pull  starter.] ;s1e2_4
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  Squidward  resting  on  his  hammock.] ;s1e2_5
{system}; [Squidward  hears  the  reef  blower's  motor  throbbing.  He  sees  SpongeBob  exiting  out  of  his  garage  with  the  reef  blower.  Squidward  grumbles  and  puts  in  his  earplugs  so  that  he  can  continue  to  rest.] ;s1e2_6
{system}; [SpongeBob  gets  to  the  seashell  and  tries  to  blow  it  away  from  his  lawn  by  using  the  reef  blower.  He  does  this  twice.  He  then  blows  extra  hard,  and  a  huge  amount  of  sand  is  thrown  in  the  air.] ;s1e2_7
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  Squidward  eating  some  vegetables  and  then,  the  huge  amount  of  sand  falls  from  the  sky  and  buries  him.  SpongeBob  runs  towards  Squidward  and  blows  the  sand  away.] ;s1e2_8
{system}; [Squidward  looks  at  a  leaf  on  his  plate  with  grains  of  sand  on  it.] ;s1e2_9
{system}; [SpongeBob  cleans  the  leaf  in  front  of  Squidward's  head,  tearing  apart  half  of  the  leaf  and  causing  grains  of  sand  to  get  into  Squidward's  eyes.  SpongeBob  cleans  Squidward's  eyes  with  another  blow.] ;s1e2_10
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  a  large  pile  of  sand  on  SpongeBob's  lawn.] ;s1e2_11
{system};" [SpongeBob  points  his  finger  to  it  and  mouths  a  word  and  the  caption  reads  ""You!""  He  walks  to  the  pile  of  sand,  sets  the  reef  blower  to  reverse,  and  uses  it  to  suck  up  the  sand  from  his  lawn.] ";s1e2_12
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  SpongeBob's  lawn  clean,  but  then  the  reef  blower  starts  breaking  apart,  throwing  out  sand  and  parts  of  the  machinery.] ;s1e2_13
{system}; [SpongeBob  takes  off  the  reef  blower.  He  unzips  the  pack.  He  goes  over  to  pick  up  the  thrown-out  contents.  The  reef  blower  coughs  while  he  is  absent.  He  returns  with  large  hands  carrying  the  thrown-out  contents.  He  zips  it  back  up  and  pulls  the  pull  starter  in  an  attempt  to  try  to  start  it.  The  motor  starts  and  then  dies.] ;s1e2_14
{system}; [The  camera  shows  him  becoming  angry  or  just  determined.  The  scene  changes  and  he  pulls  the  handle  very  far.] ;s1e2_15
{system}; [SpongeBob  lets  go  of  the  handle,  which  stays  still.  SpongeBob  wipes  his  hands  together.  He  grabs  the  handle  again.  The  handle  pulls  him  away,  leaving  a  bubble  silhouette  of  SpongeBob  that  quickly  dissolves.  SpongeBob  passes  an  intersection  where  two  fish  in  two  different  cars  going  opposite  directions  stop.  He  passes  some  houses  and  finally  returns  to  the  reef  blower,  where  he  gets  strapped  in.] ;s1e2_16
{system}; [The  reef  blower  starts,  sucking  up  all  the  water  in  the  sea,  causing  Squidward,  who  is  sitting  on  his  front  doorstep,  to  gasp  due  to  the  inability  to  breathe  air.  His  eyes  also  change  into  X's.] ;s1e2_17
{system}; [The  scene  changes  to  show  the  reef  blower  massive,  and  then  it  explodes,  causing  water  to  cover  the  screen.  When  the  water  stops,  the  screen  shows  big  piles  of  sand  everywhere,  but  SpongeBob's  lawn  is  relatively  clean.] ;s1e2_18
{system}; [SpongeBob  exits  one  of  the  piles,  wipes  his  hands  together,  and  happily  enters  his  house.] ;s1e2_19
{system}; [Episode  ends  with  Squidward  at  his  doorstep,  with  a  pile  of  sand  covering  him  except  for  his  head.  The  seashell  falls  on  Squidward's  nose.  Squidward  narrows  his  eyelids.] ;s1e2_20
SpongeBob; [stands  in  Jellyfish  Fields.  A  blue  jellyfish  floats  by  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob  creeps  from  behind  a  bush  and  stares  at  the  jellyfish  through  a  telescope.  Cuts  to  his  view  with  the  telescope]  Wow,  four  stingers.  [puts  away  the  telescope  and  puts  on  his  glasses.  Cuts  to  the  jellyfish,  where  SpongeBob  floats  over  it  with  his  net.  Cuts  to  the  jellyfish  alone,  where  SpongeBob's  foot  stretches  out  from  off-screen  and  then  the  rest  of  his  body  appears.  He  attempts  to  grab  the  jellyfish  in  his  net,  but  he  catches  himself  in  the  net,  then  the  jellyfish  flies  away.  In  the  background,  a  young  girl's  voice  is  heard  struggling.  SpongeBob  looks  down  a  cliff  and  sees  a  land  creature  trying  to  fight  a  giant  clam  that's  attempting  to  eat  her.  SpongeBob  gasps.]  Where  have  I  seen  this  before?  [takes  out  his  Field  Guide  book  and  skims  through  the  pages]  Here  it  is.  [cut  to  picture  of  a  squirrel]  Land  squirrel.  [closes  the  book]  That  little  squirrel  is  in  trouble.  [cuts  to  the  squirrel,  named  Sandy,  who  is  pushing  the  clam  into  the  ground] ;s1e3_1
Sandy; Take  that,  you  sorry  old  clam!  Y'all  need  to  learn  some  manners!  [walks  away]  You're  about  as  ugly  as  homemade  soup. ;s1e3_2
SpongeBob; Hooray,  land  squirrel!  [cuts  back  to  the  land  squirrel,  who  is  oblivious  to  the  clam  resurfacing  and  jumping  right  at  her.  Cuts  to  SpongeBob,  who  is  shocked,  his  glasses  shoot  up]  Look  out!  [scene  cuts  to  the  clam  with  Sandy  trying  to  escape  the  clam]  Hold  on,  little  squirrel!  [does  a  karate  yell  in  front  of  the  clam,  then  does  the  same  while  bouncing  to  different  sides.  He  jumps  high  in  the  air,  and  lands  on  top  of  the  clam;s1e3_3
{system}; [SpongeBob  pulls  up  his  pants  and  starts  to  charge  at  the  clam.  He  jumps  into  the  clam's  mouth  and  starts  to  strangle  its  tongue.  SpongeBob  sees  that  Sandy  has  already  escaped  and  the  clam  swallows  him  now.] ;s1e3_4
Sandy; Hold  on  there,  little  square  dude!  [gets  SpongeBob  out  and  kicks  the  clam  around  some  more  and  finally  kicks  it  across  the  sea.  The  clam  whimpers.  Sandy  leans  down  to  see  if  SpongeBob  is  okay.] ;s1e3_5
SpongeBob; Hey,  you  like  karate  too.  [does  some  karate  poses,  then  he  stops  and  falls  flat  on  his  head]  So,  what's  your  name? ;s1e3_6
Sandy; Sandy.  [makes  athletic  moves]  So  what  do  y'all  call  yourself? ;s1e3_7
SpongeBob; [runs  up  a  big  rock]  I'm  SpongeBob!  [jumps  down,  SpongeBob  soon  lands  on  one  of  his  corners] ;s1e3_8
Sandy; Well,  SpongeBob,  take  a  gander  at  this.  [walks  next  to  a  huge  rock  closes  her  eyes  and  slaps  it  with  her  hand,  making  a  gong  sound  effect,  SpongeBob  is  confused  as  nothing  seems  to  have  happen,  but  then  cracking  sounds  are  heard  and  rock  shakes  and  breaks  into  pieces] ;s1e3_9
SpongeBob; Oh.  [Sandy  grins  and  blinks]  Oh,  yeah?  Watch  this!  [prepares  to  do  a  karate  move,  but  all  he  does  is  make  an  armpit  fart  noise.  Sandy  walks  on-screen  giggling] ;s1e3_10
Sandy; I  like  you,  SpongeBob.  Why,  we  could  be  tighter  than  bark  on  a  tree.  Hi-yah!  [karate  chops  SpongeBob�s  head.] ;s1e3_11
SpongeBob; Uh,  I  like  you  too,  Sandy.  Hi-yah!  [karate  chops  her  helmet,  but  realizes  it  hurts.]  Ow.  Say,  what  is  that  thing  on  your  head? ;s1e3_12
Sandy; Why,  that's  my  air  helmet. ;s1e3_13
SpongeBob; May  I  try  it  on? ;s1e3_14
Sandy; Heck  no.  I  need  it  to  breathe.  I  gotta  have  my  air. ;s1e3_15
SpongeBob; Me  too.  I  love  air.  Air  is  good. ;s1e3_16
Sandy; No  kidding? ;s1e3_17
SpongeBob;" Why,  ""air""  is  my  middle  name.  The  more  air,  the  better.  Can't  get  enough  of  that  air. ";s1e3_18
Sandy; Shee-oot.  How  about  comin'  over  tomorrow  for  tea  and  cookies  then?  [shows  a  map  leading  to  Sandy's  house]  Don't  be  late. ;s1e3_19
SpongeBob; Okay,  see  you  tomorrow.  [runs  to  Patrick's  house.  Patrick  is  sun  tanning  on  his  rock]  Patrick!  Patrick!  Patrick,  Patrick,  Patrick!  What's  air? ;s1e3_20
Patrick;Huh?;s1e3_21
SpongeBob; I  just  met  this  girl.  She  wears  a  hat  full  of...  air. ;s1e3_22
Patrick;" Do  you  mean  she  puts  on  ""airs""? ";s1e3_23
SpongeBob; I  guess  so. ;s1e3_24
Patrick; That's  just  fancy  talk.  If  you  wanna  be  fancy,  hold  your  pinky  up  like  this.  The  higher  you  hold  it,  the  fancier  you  are. ;s1e3_25
SpongeBob; [holds  his  pinky  up]  How's  that? ;s1e3_26
Patrick;Higher.;s1e3_27
SpongeBob; Like  that? ;s1e3_28
Patrick; Now  that's  fancy.  They  should  call  you  SpongeBob  FancyPants.  [cuts  to  Sandy's  treedome]  Remember:  When  in  doubt,  pinky  out.  You  can  do  it,  SpongeBob.  I'll  be  watching.  [opens  the  door  as  SpongeBob  walks  in  with  his  pinky  raised  high  and  flowers  in  his  right  hand.] ;s1e3_29
SpongeBob; Thanks,  pal.  [rings  the  doorbell  with  a  bouquet  in  his  hand] ;s1e3_30
Sandy;Hello?;s1e3_31
SpongeBob; Hi-ya,  Sandy.  It�s  me,  SpongeBob. ;s1e3_32
Sandy; Hold  on  a  sec,  I'll  let  you  in. ;s1e3_33
SpongeBob; [whistles  then  all  the  water  goes  down  the  drain,  then  bangs  on  the  door]  Sandy!  Sandy!  Open  up!  Sandy!  Sandy!  [Sandy  opens  the  door  and  SpongeBob  jiggles  on  the  ground]  Sandy,  something's  gone  terribly  wrong.  There's  no  water  in...  [looks  around]  ...here. ;s1e3_34
Sandy; �Course  there's  no  water.  Nuttin'  but  air. ;s1e3_35
SpongeBob; [waves  his  hand  around  and  smells  the  air]  No  water? ;s1e3_36
Sandy; That  ain't  a  problem,  is  it?  Hi-yah! ;s1e3_37
SpongeBob; Problem?  [laughing]  Hi-yah!  That's  how  I  like  my  air!  [takes  a  deep  breath  as  Sandy  walks  off.  As  soon  as  she  leaves,  he  lets  it  all  out,  and  gets  black  circles  around  his  eyes]  With  no  water. ;s1e3_38
Sandy; [cartwheeling]  Well,  alright.  I  made  Texas  tea  and  cookies.  Well,  come  on  in!  Hi-yah!  [SpongeBob  is  walking  an  inch  forward  and  it  makes  weak  squeaking  sounds  with  every  step]  That's  not  in.  In.  [SpongeBob  walks  another  inch  and  there  is  more  squeaking.  Sandy  runs,  gets  SpongeBob,  takes  his  hand,  and  runs  off]  You're  a  funny  little  dude.  Come  on,  I'll  give  you  the  grand  tour.  [fades  to  the  blazing  sun  and  pan  down  where  Sandy  and  SpongeBob  are  standing]  So  this  is  my  own  private  little  air  bubble.  This  air  is  the  driest...  [SpongeBob  gasps]  ...purest...  [SpongeBob  gasps  again]  ...most  airiest  air  in  the  whole  sea.  Oh,  over  there's  my  birdbath.  [Cuts  to  the  birdbath,  where  an  orange  bird  is  splashing  and  chirping]  And  that's  my  oak  tree.  [SpongeBob  seems  enticed  by  the  water  in  the  birdbath.  He  tries  to  sneak  away,  but  stays  until  Sandy  lets  her  guard  down]  It  provides  me  with  extra  air.  This  dome  is  made  of  the  finest  polyurethane,  that's  a  fancy  word  for  plastic.  Ain't  that  just  the  bee's  knees?  [SpongeBob  nods]  Tell  you  what,  weren't  easy  getting  here  neither.  First,  I...  [SpongeBob  finally  escapes  and  wallows  in  the  birdbath,  absorbing  all  the  water.  He  then  jumps  back  to  his  original  spot,  and  the  bird  is  quite  angry.  SpongeBob  gets  back  before  Sandy  notices]  ...that's  my  treadmill.  That's  how  I  stay  in  tip-top  shape.  Well,  come  on.  Let�s  have  that  tea  now.  [does  in-air  karate  moves  and  moves  off-screen.  SpongeBob  gasps.  He  hears  some  knocking  from  outside.  It's  Patrick,  pointing  at  his  pinky] ;s1e3_39
Patrick; Pinky.  Pinky. ;s1e3_40
SpongeBob; [blinks,  weakly  holds  up  his  pinky,  and  gasps  again.  Fade  to  him  sitting  at  a  picnic  bench.  He  now  has  little  wrinkles  around  his  eyes  and  his  mouth  is  all  puckered  up.  He  holds  up  his  bouquet]  I  brought  you  some  flowers. ;s1e3_41
Sandy; [walks  over]  For  me?  How  sweet.  [grabs  the  flowers,  but  SpongeBob  refuses  to  let  go.  She  finally  pries  them  loose  and  part  of  SpongeBob's  pinky  falls  off.  He  closes  his  hand]  You  okay? ;s1e3_42
SpongeBob; [the  black  circles  around  his  eyes  are  gone.  His  voice  is  now  hoarse]  Yes,  I'm  okay. ;s1e3_43
Sandy; You  know,  you're  the  first  sea  critter  to  ever  visit. ;s1e3_44
SpongeBob; I  can�t  imagine  why. ;s1e3_45
Sandy; Can  I  get  you  anything? ;s1e3_46
SpongeBob; Water  would  be  nice. ;s1e3_47
Sandy; I'm  gonna  put  these  in  a  vase. ;s1e3_48
SpongeBob; Take  your  time.  [Sandy  goes  in  her  tree  and  closes  the  door  off-screen.  SpongeBob  hears  it,  he  then  gasps  and  stumbles  toward  the  door  and  struggles  to  open  it]  I  gotta  get  out  of  here!  [screams  and  then  thinks] ;s1e3_49
Sandy; [in  SpongeBob's  head]  I  like  you,  SpongeBob.  We  could  be  tighter  than  bark  on  a  tree. ;s1e3_50
{system}; [SpongeBob  struggles  even  more] ;s1e3_51
Patrick; [in  SpongeBob's  head]  When  in  doubt,  pinky  out. ;s1e3_52
SpongeBob; [lifts  his  pinky  up  and  gets  confidence  and  victorious  music  plays.]  I  don't  need  water!  Water's  for  quitters!  I  don't  need  it!  I  don't  need  it!  I  don't  need  it!  I  don't  need  it,  I  don't  need  it...  [sits  down,  loses  confidence  again  and  the  music  stops] ;s1e3_53
Sandy; Why,  these  flowers  are  just  beautiful!  [sniffs]  They'll  last  much,  much  longer  in  a  vase  full  of  ice  cold  water.  [puts  the  vase  down.  SpongeBob  is  totally  enticed  by  the  water.  Sandy  sits  down  across  from  him]  So  tell  me  about  yourself.  [puts  her  hands  under  head  feeling  fascinated  about  SpongeBob  sharing  himself]  It  must  be  fascinating  bein'  a  sea  critter.  [SpongeBob  watches  a  drop  of  water  drop  down  the  side  of  the  glass]  SpongeBob?  [a  timer  goes  off]  Oh,  there's  the  cookies.  [walks  back  into  the  tree]  Be  right  back. ;s1e3_54
SpongeBob; [thinking]  I  don't  need  it,  I  don't  need  it,  I  definitely  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  SpongeBob's  face.  He's  really  shriveled  now]  I  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  vase,  then  another  one  of  SpongeBob's  face]  I  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  vase]  I  don't  need  it.  [close-up  of  SpongeBob's  face]  I  don't  need  it.  [long  pause,  finally  yelling]  I  need  it!  [shoots  up  into  the  air,  bounces  off  the  ceiling  and  holds  the  vase.] ;s1e3_55
Patrick; No,  SpongeBob!  No,  no,  no!  Stop!  Pinky!  Pinky! ;s1e3_56
SpongeBob; [holds  up  his  pinky  and  starts  guzzling  down  the  whole  vase  of  water]  I'm  a  quitter!  [screams  and  runs  around] ;s1e3_57
Patrick; [enters  into  the  dome  and  slams  the  door  shut]  You  can't  leave  now.  You'll  blow  it. ;s1e3_58
SpongeBob; [muffled  while  hanging  on  the  door]  Air  is  not  good,  Patrick.  Air  is  not  good. ;s1e3_59
Patrick; [grabs  SpongeBob  off  the  door]  You're  just  being  shy.  [carries  SpongeBob  to  the  picnic  table]  Don't  worry,  buddy.  You're  doing  fine.  [starts  getting  weak]  I  won't  let  you  blow...  this.  [drops  SpongeBob  and  crawls  on  the  floor,  panting.  He  coughs  and  sputters,  then  stands  up]  What  kind  of  place  is  this?!  [runs  toward  the  door  and  tries  to  open  it]  There's  no  water  in  here! ;s1e3_60
SpongeBob; [joins  in  on  the  door-opening  struggle]  I  tried  to  tell  you! ;s1e3_61
Patrick; We've  gotta  get  out  of  here! ;s1e3_62
SpongeBob; You're...  doing  it...  wrong! ;s1e3_63
Patrick; Wait,  no!  We've  got  to  get  out!  [The  two  pass  out.] ;s1e3_64
{system}; [fades  to  the  sun] ;s1e3_65
Sandy; [walks  out  of  the  tree  with  tea  and  cookies]  Come  and  get  it!  Y'all  gonna  like  this... ;s1e3_66
{system}; [She  screams  and  drops  her  tray.  On  the  grass  is  a  live-action  sponge  and  starfish.  Cuts  to  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  leaning  against  a  ladder  with  two  goldfish  helmets  on.  Sandy,  on  top  of  the  ladder,  uses  a  hose  to  fill  those  helmets  with  water,  so  they  can  finally  breathe.] ;s1e3_67
Sandy; There,  that  oughta  do  it!  If  y'all  needed  water,  you  shoulda  asked.  [carries  over  a  tray  with  three  tea  glasses.  Everyone  takes  one]  I  propose  a  toast,  to  new  friends.  [drinks  it  while  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  lift  their  drinks  up  and  they  clink  the  glasses  on  the  helmets,  causing  them  to  spill]  Hold  on  a  second.  [places  a  tea  bag  in  each  helmet,  allowing  the  two  to  drink  the  tea  water]  I  hope  you  like  your  tea  strong.  Drink  up!  [Patrick  nudges  SpongeBob  and  they  both  put  their  pinkies  up.  They  sip  the  tea.] ;s1e3_68
{system}; [The  episode  starts  with  a  view  of  the  houses  of  Patrick,  Squidward,  and  SpongeBob.  The  screen  zooms  in  closer,  and  fades  to  a  view  of  SpongeBob's  entrance.] ; s1e4_1
SpongeBob; [walks  outside  his  house,  and  breathes  in  the  fresh  air]  Ahh,  what  a  wonderful  day.  The  sun  is  out,  the  water  is  shimmering,  scallops  are  chirping.  So  peaceful.  [grabs  wood,  a  hammer,  and  some  nails,  and  starts  to  noisily  build  a  stand.  Squidward  peeks  his  head  out  the  window.] ; s1e4_2
Squidward; Can  we  lower  the  volume,  please?  I  can't  work  with  all  that  racket  going  on! ; s1e4_3
SpongeBob; Oh,  sure  thing,  Squidward. ; s1e4_4
Squidward; Yes.  Mmm.  Right.  Mmm. ; s1e4_5
SpongeBob; Okay.  [taps  on  a  nail  lightly,  and  he  looks  up  at  Squidward's  window.  He  does  it  again,  and  continues  to,  making  sure  he  doesn't  make  too  much  noise.  Meanwhile,  in  Squidward's  house,  Squidward  has  his  clarinet  in  his  hand.] ; s1e4_6
Squidward; And  now...  for  some  soothing  sounds  from  Squidward's  clarinet.  Thank  you,  thank  you.  [starts  to  play  while  SpongeBob  looks  up  and  sees  that  Squidward  is  playing,  so  he  decides  to  finish  his  stand  quickly.  Squidward  looks  out  the  window  again.] ; s1e4_7
Squidward; I  thought  I...  Huh? ; s1e4_8
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward.  Wanna  blow  some  bubbles?  Only  25  cents. ; s1e4_9
Squidward; Oh,  right.  Like  I  would  spend  a  moment  of  my  time  blowing  bubbles. ; s1e4_10
SpongeBob; Uh  huh. ; s1e4_11
Squidward; Oh,  puh-lease.  I  mean,  who  in  the  world  would  pay  to  blow  bubbles?  [Patrick  comes  out  of  his  house,  stuck  to  the  underside  of  the  rock] ; s1e4_12
Patrick; Good  morning.  [a  TV,  lamp,  and  chair  are  seen  below  Patrick's  rock.  Patrick  falls  off  his  rock,  onto  his  furniture,  and  begins  screaming] ; s1e4_13
Squidward; Oh,  boy.  [Patrick  walks  over  to  SpongeBob] ; s1e4_14
SpongeBob; Good  morning  to  you,  sir.  Would  you  care  to  blow  a  bubble? ; s1e4_15
Patrick; Hmm,  how  much  is  it? ; s1e4_16
SpongeBob; Only  a  quarter. ; s1e4_17
Patrick; Sounds  reasonable.  [whispering]  Uh,  I'm  going  to  need  to  borrow  a  quarter. ; s1e4_18
SpongeBob; Sure  thing,  Patrick.  [pulls  out  a  quarter  and  he  gives  it  to  Patrick] ; s1e4_19
Patrick; Ah,  one  quarter.  [hands  the  quarter  back  to  SpongeBob,  whom  bites  it  to  see  if  it's  real] ; s1e4_20
SpongeBob; Thank  you.  [cuts  back  to  Squidward] ; s1e4_21
Squidward; Hmm,  business  is  booming.  [laughs]  How  did  I  ever  get  surrounded  by  such  loser  neighbors?  Uh-huh.  [continues  playing.  Cut  back  to  SpongeBob  and  Patrick.  SpongeBob  dips  the  wand  in  the  bubble  soap] ; s1e4_22
SpongeBob;" One  bubble  wand,  dipped  and  ready  to  go.  [Patrick  grabs  the  wand  from  SpongeBob,  inhales  deeply  and  begins  to  blow,  but  a  bubble  doesn't  come  out.  He  pants  and  blows  again.  After  a  while,  SpongeBob  puts  up  a  ""Lessons""  sign.  Patrick  then  loses  his  breath]  Could  I  interest  you  in  some  lessons?  Only  25  cents. "; s1e4_23
Patrick; Uh,  very  well,  then.  Hey,  Sponge,  can  I  borrow  another  quarter?  [SpongeBob  hands  Patrick  a  quarter]  Thanks.  [winks  and  hands  the  quarter  back  to  SpongeBob] ; s1e4_24
SpongeBob; Okay,  Patrick,  it's  all  in  the  technique.  [starts  doing  his  infamous  routine]  First  go  like  this,  spin  around.  Stop!  Double  take  three  times:  one,  two,  three.  Then,  pelvic  thrust!  Whoooo!  Whooooooo!  Stop  on  your  right  foot,  don't  forget  it!  Now  it's  time  to  bring  it  around  town.  Bring-it-around-town.  Then  you  do  this,  then  this,  and  this,  and  that,  and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that,  and  then...  [blows  bubbles  shaped  like  ducks] ; s1e4_25
Patrick; Oooh.  [SpongeBob  pops  out  of  nowhere  and  blows  a  box.  Patrick  giggles  and  SpongeBob  blows  a  caterpillar]  Ah!  [The  caterpillar  then  pops  one-by-one,  with  descending  sounds.  Patrick  continues  to  giggle.  SpongeBob  blows  a  tugboat,  and  it  floats  off,  pops,  and  makes  a  foghorn  noise.  Cuts  to  inside  of  Squidward's  house] ; s1e4_26
Squidward; Huh?  [shakes  his  clarinet.  Cut  back  to  outside  with  SpongeBob  and  Patrick] ; s1e4_27
SpongeBob;" And  now...  with  two  hands!  [inhales  deeply  and  blows  out  an  elephant.  Circus  music,  in  particular  part  of  the  piece  ""Entry  of  the  Gladiators,""  starts  playing.] "; s1e4_28
Patrick;" [laughs]  It's  a  giraffe!  [Patrick  continues  laughing  as  the  elephant  floats  over  into  Squidward's  house.  SpongeBob  then  worried  as  the  bubble  pops  and  tons  of  smaller  bubbles  come  out  of  both  windows  of  the  house  while  an  elephant  sounds.  Squidward  opens  the  door  with  a  sour  look  on  his  face.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  hide  behind  the  stand.  SpongeBob  places  a  ""Closed""  sign  on  it.  Squidward  looks  over  the  stand] "; s1e4_29
SpongeBob; Excuse  me,  sir,  but  we  are  clo- ; s1e4_30
Squidward; Don't  give  me  any  of  that!  How  can  you  two  possibly  make  all  this  noise  just  blowing  bubbles?! ; s1e4_31
SpongeBob; We're  not  just  blowing  bubbles.  We're  making  bubble  art.  Watch  carefully.  [does  his  infamous  routine  again]  First  go  like  this,  spin  around.  Stop!  Double  take  three  times:  one,  two,  three.  Then  pelvic  thrust!  Whoooo!  Whooooooo!  Stop  on  your  right  foot,  don't  forget  it!  Now  it's  time  to  bring  it  around  town.  Bring-it-around-town.  Then  you  do  this,  then  this,  and  this,  and  that,  and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that,  and  then...  [blows  a  butterfly,  which  flies  over  to  Squidward,  lands  on  his  head,  and  pops] ; s1e4_32
Squidward; That's  not  art.  That's  just  annoying.  Blowing  bubbles,  that's  the  lamest  idea  I  have  ever  heard.  [SpongeBob  and  Patrick,  now  depressed,  head  to  SpongeBob's  house]  You  should  be  ashamed  of  yourselves.  [SpongeBob  closes  the  door  as  Squidward  laughs  to  himself]  Bubbles.  [continues  laughing]  Art.  [mumbles,  and  picks  up  the  bubble  wand,  sniffs  it,  and  inhales  to  blow.  Then,  SpongeBob  pops  up  out  of  nowhere] ; s1e4_33
SpongeBob; That'll  be  25  cents,  sir. ; s1e4_34
Squidward; Ah,  whoa,  what?  [SpongeBob  blinks]  Oh...  who-who  would  pay  25  cents  to  blow  bubbles? ; s1e4_35
SpongeBob;" We  also  offer  lessons  for  beginners.  [puts  the  ""Lessons""  sign  up] "; s1e4_36
Squidward; Beginners?  What  could  be  more  simple  than  blowing  a  stupid  bubble?  [pulls  a  quarter  out]  Here's  your  25  cents!  [SpongeBob  bites  it  to  see  if  it's  real  and  it  bends]  Watch  and  learn.  [inhales  and  blows,  but  nothing  happens]  Uhh...  wait,  wait,  wait.  [he  inhales  and  blows  again,  but  nothing  happens  again]  One  more  time.  Here.  Wait.  [inhales  and  blows  again,  and  a  small  bubble  comes  out  and  instantly  falls  to  the  ground  and  bursts,  making  a  fart  sound.  Looks  over  at  SpongeBob  and  Patrick.  They  gulp,  and  then  start  whistling.  Squidward  places  another  quarter  on  the  stand]  Uhh...  Just  a  mere  warm-up.  [dips  the  wand  in  the  bubble  container,  inhales  deeply  and  blows  hard.  The  bubble  falls  to  the  ground  again,  making  another  fart  sound,  gets  another  quarter  out  and  puts  it  on  the  stand] ; s1e4_37
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward,  remember  the  technique.  [Squidward  keeps  trying  to  blow  bubbles  while  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  trying  to  show  him  the  technique]  Squidward,  technique!  You  do  this,  and  this,  step  back.... ; s1e4_38
Patrick; Hey!  Technique,  Squidward! ; s1e4_39
SpongeBob; Spin  around  like  thi�  Like  this...  Look  at  me,  over  here,  one...  two....  yeah,  three... ; s1e4_40
Patrick; The  pelvic  woo! ; s1e4_41
SpongeBob;" Look,  we're  doing  the  technique!  And  don't  for...  Don't  forget  the  ""Woooooo!""  Squidward? "; s1e4_42
Patrick; Listen  to  Sponge! ; s1e4_43
SpongeBob; Technique!  Technique!  Technique! ; s1e4_44
SpongeBob; [weakly]  You're  not  doing  the  technique. ; s1e4_45
Patrick;Technique.; s1e4_46
Squidward; Technique?  Technique!?  Technique,  technique,  technique,  technique,  technique!  [starts  to  do  the  infamous  routine,  while  imitating  SpongeBob]  First  I  do  this,  spin  around.  Stop.  Double  take  three  times.  And  here  we  go,  pelvic  thrust.  Wehooooo!  Wehoohoo!  Oh,  stop  on  your  right  foot,  don't  forget  it.  Then,  bring  it  around  town.  And  a  little  of  this,  a  little  of  that,  a  little  of  this,  this,  this,  this,  that,  that,  that,  that.  And  that,  that,  that  that  that  that!  And  then...  [screams  very  loudly  into  the  wand,  blowing  a  gargantuan,  unshaped  bubble] ; s1e4_47
SpongeBob; All  right,  Squid.  That  was  so  good. ; s1e4_48
Patrick; Squid  is  number  one. ; s1e4_49
Squidward; I  really  did  it,  didn't  I?  Hey,  you  guys  didn't  blow  anything  like  that. ; s1e4_50
SpongeBob;No.; s1e4_51
Squidward; Now  that's  a  bubble. ; s1e4_52
SpongeBob; You  said  it,  Squidward.  See,  it  is  all  in  the  technique. ; s1e4_53
Patrick; Yeah,  technique. ; s1e4_54
Squidward; Technique?  Hah.  SpongeBob,  you  don't  think  I  created  that  [kisses  his  tentacle]  beautiful  work  of  art  with  your  help?  [starts  laughing]  Come  on,  it's  in  my  genes. ; s1e4_55
Squidward; Thank  you,  thank  you,  thank  you.  [starts  to  play  his  clarinet.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  chant  Squidward's  name.  At  one  point,  they  belly  flop  each  other  and  Patrick  falls  on  the  ground.]  I  rock.  [continues  to  play  his  clarinet.  As  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  continue  to  chant,  Squidward's  bubble  flies  over  them,  covers  Squidward's  house,  and  pulls  it  out  of  the  ground  and  up  towards  the  top  of  the  ocean.  SpongeBob  notices  and  stops  Patrick] ; s1e4_56
SpongeBob; [concerned]  Squidward!  [Patrick  now  notices] ; s1e4_57
Squidward; Hello,  my  friends.  You  are  looking  at  a...  [sees  how  high  he  is  from  the  sky] ; s1e4_58
Squidward; ...genius.  [the  bubble  explodes  in  the  air  and  then  the  ground  violently  rumbles  and  shakes.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  look  in  awe] ; s1e4_59
{system}; [Pan  across  Goo  Lagoon] ;s1e5_1
French Narrator; Ah,  Goo  Lagoon.  A  stinky  mud  puddle  to  you  and  me.  But  to  the  inhabitants  of  Bikini  Bottom,  a  wonderful,  stinky  mud  puddle.  [SpongeBob  and  Sandy  sit  enjoying  the  beach.  SpongeBob  sighs] ;s1e5_2
SpongeBob; What  a  great  day.  [runs  off]  Hey,  Sandy!  Look!  [now  covered  in  a  mound  of  sand]  I'm  Sandy!  [Sandy  laughs.  SpongeBob  forms  sand  around  his  head  and  nose  to  look  like  Squidward  and  imitates  his  voice]  Hey  Sandy,  who  am  I?  [Sandy  still  laughs.  SpongeBob  picks  up  a  sand  phone]  Hello,  SpongeBob.  Could  you  keep  it  down?  I'm  trying  to  be  boring.  [Sandy  continues  laughing] ;s1e5_3
Sandy; SpongeBob!  [a  doorbell  rings,  SpongeBob  walks  in  carrying  sand  pizza  boxes  and  wearing  a  Krusty  Krab  sand  hat] ;s1e5_4
SpongeBob; Did  anyone  order  twenty  pepperoni  and  sand  pizzas?  [he  and  Sandy  laugh  together.  Larry  walks  up] ;s1e5_5
Larry; Hey,  Sandy.  Hey,  SpongeBob. ;s1e5_6
Sandy; Hey,  Larry. ;s1e5_7
Larry; You  guys  wanna  go  lift  some  weights? ;s1e5_8
Sandy; Sure.  [she  and  Larry  walk  off]  Well,  come  on,  SpongeBob.  [SpongeBob's  sand  pizzas  and  hat  fall  flat  as  he  walks  on  dejectedly] ;s1e5_9
SpongeBob; [disappointingly]  Coming.  [cut  to  a  group  of  weightlifters,  each  grunting  as  they  work  out.  Larry  turns  to  Sandy] ;s1e5_10
Larry; Give  it  a  try,  Sandy.  [Sandy  stands  in  front  of  a  weight.  She  picks  it  up,  grunting  as  she  does  so.  The  crowd  cheers  for  her,  and  she  throws  the  weight  down] ;s1e5_11
SpongeBob; Good  job,  Sandy.  Well,  that's  about  enough  for  today,  don't  you  think?  [tries  to  walk  off] ;s1e5_12
Larry; How  about  a  little  more  weight?  [bends  down  to  pick  up  a  weight  heavier  than  Sandy's]  Observe.  [grunts  as  he  picks  it  up,  his  eyes  bulging,  and  veins  stick  out  from  his  neck.  The  crowd  cheers,  and  Larry  throws  the  weight  down] ;s1e5_13
SpongeBob; All  right,  stand  back,  everyone.  [picks  up  a  single  twig  from  the  ground.  The  crowd  is  silent.  He  sinks  into  the  sand.  Sandy  walks  to  a  weight] ;s1e5_14
Sandy; Y'all  watch  this!  [picks  up  an  anchor  weight.  The  crowd  cheers  for  her,  but  stop  when  they  realize  Larry  has  lifted  the  spectator  stands]  Way  to  go,  Larry!  [SpongeBob  burrows  into  the  sand,  and  tunnels  over  to  Incidental  36  who  is  picnicking  next  to  a  marshmallow  sack] ;s1e5_15
SpongeBob; Could  I  borrow  a  couple  of  these? ;s1e5_16
SpongeBob; [takes  two  marshmallows  and  places  them  on  the  twig]  And  now,  with  the  addition  of  2,  count  'em,  2  marshmallows.  [preps  himself  for  his  lift,  inhales  deeply,  takes  hold  of  the  twig,  and  is  unable  to  lift  it.  The  crowd  isn't  moved.  He  tries  again.  And  again.  After  a  huge  effort,  SpongeBob  hears  a  rip.  He  looks  down  and  notices  that  he's  ripped  his  pants.  The  crowd  gasps,  then  laughs  at  SpongeBob.  SpongeBob  scuttles  off,  embarrassed.  Scooter  walks  over,  laughing] ;s1e5_17
Scooter; That  was  too  funny.  [slaps  SpongeBob  on  the  back]  You  are  hilarious! ;s1e5_18
Sandy; Ain't  he  the  funniest  little  Sponge  you  ever  saw?  [SpongeBob  grins  widely  which  gave  him  an  idea.  Cut  to  Larry  with  a  volleyball  on  his  claw] ;s1e5_19
Larry; Anybody  up  for  some  volleyball?  [the  ball  volleys  back  and  forth,  until  Larry  spikes  it  into  some  fish  and  the  crowd  cheers  for  him.  SpongeBob  looks  at  him  in  contempt.  A  fish  serves  the  ball  and  as  Larry  is  about  to  hit  it,  SpongeBob  interferes] ;s1e5_20
SpongeBob; I  got  it!  [the  ball  falls  and  SpongeBob  tries  to  serve  it]  Incoming!  [the  serve  misses  and  the  crowd  boos.  He  bends  down  to  pick  the  ball  up  and  rips  his  pants]  Oops,  I  guess  I  ripped  my  pants  again!  [the  crowd  laughs.  Scooter  walks  in  laughing  again] ;s1e5_21
Scooter; Once  again,  dude,  [slaps  SpongeBob  on  the  back]  you  have  split  my  sides!  [he  continues  to  laugh.  Cut  to  a  tossed  Frisbee.  Larry  catches  it  and  throws  it  to  Sandy] ;s1e5_22
SpongeBob; Hey,  Sandy,  how  about  throwing  it  to  me? ;s1e5_23
Sandy; Okay,  here  it  comes!  [SpongeBob  stands  still  and  lets  the  Frisbee  hit  him  on  the  head,  knocking  him  over] ;s1e5_24
SpongeBob; I  could  use  a  hand  here!  [laughs.  Sandy  walks  over  and  helps  him  up] ;s1e5_25
Sandy; You  okay,  SpongeBob? ;s1e5_26
SpongeBob; I  guess  so...  [does  a  handstand,  revealing  his  pants]  ...except  I  ripped  my  pants!  [the  crowd  laughs,  and  Scooter  walks  up  to  SpongeBob  once  again] ;s1e5_27
Scooter; You  still  got  it,  dude!  [slaps  SpongeBob  on  the  back  again.  Cut  to  SpongeBob  and  Sandy  walking  to  an  ice  cream  vendor] ;s1e5_28
SpongeBob; I'll  take  a  banana  split. ;s1e5_29
SpongeBob; That's  okay.  I  already  split  my  pants!  Get  it?  [Sandy  giggles] ;s1e5_30
SpongeBob; How  about  ripple?  [does  so,  Sandy  giggles  again]  No,  thanks,  already  got  one!  [Sandy  drops  laughing,  Incidental  39  is  unamused,  and  SpongeBob  happily  bounces  off  to  a  snack  bar.  SpongeBob  runs  up  to  Incidental  40,  knocking  his  drink  over]  Is  that  a  burger  you're  eating? ;s1e5_31
SpongeBob; You  know  what  would  go  good  with  that? ;s1e5_32
SpongeBob; [whispers]  Ripped...  pants.  [smiles  widely  and  shows  the  annoyed  Incidental  40  his  ripped  pants.  SpongeBob  then  runs  around  the  snack  bar,  laughing.  He  comes  up  in-between  two  fish]  Ripped  pants  a  la  mode!  [rips  his  pants,  the  fish  are  annoyed.  Cut  to  SpongeBob  being  in  the  kitchen  of  the  snack  bar,  next  to  the  fry  cook]  Delivery!  Did  you  order  twenty  cases  of  ripped  pants?  [shoves  his  behind  through  the  box,  revealing  his  ripped  pants,  then  laughs  and  the  box  is  revealed  to  have  no  lower  part.  The  fry  cook  groans  disgustedly.  Cut  to  a  broadcasting  booth  over  looking  the  lagoon] ;s1e5_33
Sports guy; Surf's  up  in  the  Goo  Lagoon.  [fish  are  surfing.  Close-up  of  Perch  Perkins]  And  here  comes  Larry,  doing  his  trademark  lay-back.  [cut  to  Larry  lying  on  his  surfboard]  There  goes  Sandy,  hanging  ten...  fingers,  that  is.  [cut  to  Sandy  doing  a  handstand  on  her  surfboard]  There  goes  SpongeBob...  [rip]  ripping  his  pants  again.  [The  sports  guy  is  annoyed,  then  cut  to  SpongeBob  ripping  his  pants  on  his  surfboard.  A  wave  knocks  SpongeBob  off  his  surfboard  and  washes  him  up  on  the  beach] ;s1e5_34
Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_35
SpongeBob; [to  Incidental  155]  Come  closer.  [a  divine  light  shines  on  him]  I  need...  I  need... ;s1e5_36
SpongeBob; [pats  Incidental  155  on  the  shoulder.  Close  up  of  SpongeBob's  mouth]  A  tailor.  [the  light  turns  off,  accompanied  by  a  light  switch]  Because  I  ripped  my  pants!  [laughs.  Incidental  155  makes  an  annoyed  expression,  drops  SpongeBob,  and  the  crowd  surrounding  him  walks  off  with  annoyance.  SpongeBob  is  left  alone  and  Sandy  walks  up  to  him  angry] ;s1e5_37
Sandy; That  wasn't  funny,  SpongeBob!  Y'all  had  me  worried  sick!  [walks  off  as  Scooter  walks  towards  SpongeBob  and  looks  at  him  sadly] ;s1e5_38
Scooter; [shakes  his  head]  Dude...  [walks  off.  Cut  to  a  dressing  tent,  with  SpongeBob  inside] ;s1e5_39
SpongeBob;" [thinking]  Come  on,  SpongeBob,  you're  losing  them!  Think!  Your  public's  waiting.  [speaking]  Let's  see...  [checking  them  off  a  list]  ""Lifting  weights  -  big  laugh,""  ""Frisbee  in  face  -  kills,""  ""Surfing  -  knocks  'em  dead,""  ""Pretending  to  drown,""  [uses  his  pencil  to  write  the  word  ""NO""  and  circle  it]  No.  Come  on,  think!  I  got  it!  Hey,  everybody!  [runs  out  of  the  dressing  tent]  Not  ripped  pants!  [tears  his  pants  off]  Pants  ripped  off.  Huh?  Someone  call  the  police.  There's  a  pants  thief  on  the  loose!  [the  wind  howls,  SpongeBob  standing  alone  on  the  beach.  A  tumbleweed  rolls  by.  SpongeBob  turns  and  hears  party  music  at  a  distance,  and  sees  Larry  and  Sandy  playing  volleyball]  Oh,  no,  everybody's  gone,  even  Sandy.  She'd  rather  hang  out  with  Larry!  Oh,  no.  [lies  on  the  beach  as  he  continues  saying,  no]  We  blew  it,  pants.  [throws  his  pants  aside] ";s1e5_40
Pants;" What  do  you  mean,  ""we?""  [the  pants  walk  off,  leaving  SpongeBob  alone] ";s1e5_41
SpongeBob; Oh,  I  didn't  have  to  be  a  fool  to  get  Sandy's  attention.  Am  I  the  biggest  loser  on  the  beach?!  [Incidental  22  walks  up  to  SpongeBob,  shining  red] ;s1e5_42
SpongeBob; Ouch.  [a  fish  walks  up  to  the  two] ;s1e5_43
Loser; No,  I  am.  I  got  sand  in  my  buns.  [shows  them  two  sandy  hamburger  buns.  There  is  a  rumbling  coming  from  the  sand  and  a  whale  pops  his  head  out  of  the  sand] ;s1e5_44
Frank; No,  I'm  the  biggest  loser  on  the  beach.  They  buried  me  in  the  sand  and  forgot  me. ;s1e5_45
All; What  happened  to  you? ;s1e5_46
SpongeBob; I  lost  my  best  friend. ;s1e5_47
All; How?  [SpongeBob  grabs  a  sand  guitar  and  sings  he  is  front  of  the  sand  castle  and  a  sand  telephone  he  built  earlier] ;s1e5_48
SpongeBob;" When  I  ripped...  [his  underwear  starts  ripping]  my  pants.  [starts  to  sing]  I  thought  that  I  had  everybody  by  my  side,  but  I  went  and  blew  it  all  sky-high,  and  now  she  won't  even  spare  a  passing  glance,  [The  curtain  comes  down  and  a  spotlight  shines  on  SpongeBob]  all  just  because  I  [rips  his  underwear  again]  ripped  my  pants.  [the  other  three  ""losers  of  the  beach""  assemble  on  a  sand  stage  with  sand  instruments  and  sing] ";s1e5_49
All; When  big  Larry  came  round  just  to  put  him  down,  SpongeBob  turned  into  a  clown,  and  no  girl  ever  wants  to  dance  with  a  fool  who  went  and  [Incidental  22  turns  around  and  suddenly,  her  bottom  then  rips,  splitting  open,  revealing  her  white  underwear]  ripped  his  pants! ;s1e5_50
All; Or  sand  in  your  buns!  [instrumental  break.  The  loser  scrapes  the  two  buns  together  to  make  a  rhythm  then  the  curtain  shows  waves  crashing  about] ;s1e5_51
SpongeBob; Now  I  learned  a  lesson  I  won't  soon  forget...  so  listen  and  you  won't  regret.  Be  true  to  yourself;s1e5_52
Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_53
SpongeBob; Sandy!  [she  gets  onstage  and  hugs  SpongeBob.  He  returns  the  embrace] ;s1e5_54
Sandy; Your  song  is  true.  If  y'all  want  to  be  my  friend,  just  be  yourself.  [Larry  walks  up] ;s1e5_55
Larry; [impressed  with  SpongeBob's  singing  during  the  big  concert]  SpongeBob,  that  was  so  righteous.  [hands  SpongeBob  a  pencil]  Would  you...  sign  my  pants? ;s1e5_56
SpongeBob;" Absolutely,  buddy.  [SpongeBob  bends  down  to  sign  Larry's  pants.  His  underwear  then  rips  off  completely,  leaving  SpongeBob  ""au  naturel.""  Someone  off-screen  whistles.  SpongeBob  covers  his  crotch,  grins,  and  blushes  sheepishly] ";s1e5_57
{system}; [Opens  in  on  a  bunch  of  jellyfish  and  one  flying  out  of  the  field  towards  Conch  Street];s1e6_1
 French  Narrator ; Ah,  ze  early  morning  in  Bikini  Bottom,  when  the  jellyfish  are  buzzing  about  and  making  their  jellyfish  jelly.  [A  jellyfish  flies  by  SpongeBob's  house.  Just  then  a  giant  periscope  comes  out  of  the  porthole]  Oh,  what  is  happening  here?  [SpongeBob  is  looking  through  the  periscope  from  inside,  Patrick  waits  behind  him]  Collectors?  [SpongeBob  nods  to  Patrick.  They  both  run  toward  two  vents:  one  square-shaped,  one  circular-shaped.  SpongeBob  takes  the  square  one  and  Patrick  takes  the  circle  one.  The  two  approach  ropes  and  slide  down  them.  At  the  bottom,  they  encounter  a  case  of  rope  burn  and  jump  around  frantically.  They  blow  their  hands  to  remove  the  burn.  Once  the  burn  is  gone,  the  two  get  serious  again  and  approach  a  closet.  It  houses  three  sets  of  poles  and  three  sets  of  nets.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  take  one  of  each,  connect  them  and  test  their  mobility.  SpongeBob  puts  on  his  glasses  and  the  two  seriously  step  out  ready  for  action.  A  jellyfish  flies  by  and  the  two  joyfully  sing  and  follow  it] ;s1e6_2
SpongeBob;[off-screen]  I  think  I've  got  it!  Wait  a  minute...  [we  hear  jellyfish  stings  and  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  screaming.  The  two  run  back  the  way  they  came,  being  chased  by  the  jellyfish.  They  fall  into  a  heap  in  front  of  Squidward's  house.  The  jellyfish  stings  both  of  their  backsides  and  flies  off.  Just  then,  Squidward  comes  out  of  his  house  with  his  bike] ;s1e6_3
Squidward;Hm.;s1e6_4
SpongeBob; Hey,  Squidward,  we're  jellyfishing. ;s1e6_5
Squidward; Of  course  you  are.  Bye  now.  [walks  off] ;s1e6_6
SpongeBob; Wait!  We  made  a  net  especially  for  you!  [holds  it  up]  Do  you  want  to  come  with  us? ;s1e6_7
Squidward; [sarcastically]  Really?  Jellyfishing  with  you  guys?  Oh,  that  would  be  the  best  day  ever  in  my  book!  I  would  love  to  go  jellyfishing!  I  can't  think  of  anything  I'd  like  to  do  more  on  my  day  off  than  go  jellyfishing  with  my  two  best  friends:  SpongeBob  and...  uh... ;s1e6_8
Patrick;Patrick.;s1e6_9
Squidward; Right.  But  I  can't.  Bye  bye. ;s1e6_10
SpongeBob; Next  time? ;s1e6_11
Squidward; Oh  sure,  right!  Whatever.  [bikes  away under  breath]  Like  that'll  ever  happen. ;s1e6_12
SpongeBob; You  know,  Patrick?  It  always  seems  like  Squidward  never  has  time  for  fun. ;s1e6_13
Patrick; Maybe  he  doesn't  like  us. ;s1e6_14
SpongeBob; No,  are  you  kidding?  We're  his  best  friends.  [Squidward  bikes  down  a  path,  chuckling  to  himself] ;s1e6_15
Squidward; Jellyfishing.  [as  he  laughs,  his  nose  inflates  and  deflates]  Oh,  I'll  go.  [laughs]  I  sure  had  them  going.  [laughs.  But,  he  doesn't  see  a  jellyfish  which  is  going  in  the  opposite  direction.  He  keeps  on  laughing.  The  jellyfish  ends  up  swimming  in  Squidward's  mouth  and  he  coughs  it  out]  Stupid  jellyfish!  Beat  it!  [He  hits  it,  and  the  jellyfish  goes  up  his  shirt  and  starts  zapping  him,  causing  Squidward  to  veer  out  of  control.  His  tentacles  get  tangled  on  the  pedals  and  he  trips  on  a  rock.  He  bounces  down  a  hill  and  then  falls  down  a  jagged  rocky  cliff.  He  reaches  the  bottom  of  the  cliff  and  immediately  an  atomic  explosion  appears.]  Ow... ;s1e6_16
{system};" [Cut  to  SpongeBob  sitting  at  his  house.  He  looks  out  the  window.  But,  no  one  is  there.  He  sits  down  again.  He  notices  a  photo  of  him  and  an  unhappy  Squidward  that  reads,  ""Friends.""  He  puts  it  down  and  looks  out  the  window  again.  Squidward,  who's  in  a  wheelchair  and  all  bandaged  up  rolls  down  the  path]";s1e6_17
SpongeBob; Squid's  back!  [phones  Patrick,  which  causes  the  screen  to  split  diagonally,  revealing  Patrick  on  the  bottom] ;s1e6_19
Patrick;Yello?;s1e6_20
SpongeBob; Hey,  Patrick,  Squid's  home!  And  we're  gonna  make  sure  he's  greeted  by  his  two  best  friends! ;s1e6_21
Patrick; Oh,  great!  Who  are  they?  [it's  revealed  that  the  two  are  phoning  each  other  from  across  the  room,  just  with  different  wallpapers] ;s1e6_22
SpongeBob;" Us!  [the  two  hang  up]  Let's  go!  [Squidward  wheels  himself  into  his  house.  The  lights  suddenly  turn  on,  and  party  horns  can  be  heard.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  inside  his  house  with  a  banner  that  says  ""Welcome  Home""]  Welcome  home,  Squidward! ";s1e6_23
Patrick; Merry  Christmas! ;s1e6_24
SpongeBob; We're  gonna  make  this  your  best  day  ever!  [Squidward  turns  around  and  wheels  out.  SpongeBob  rolls  him  back  in]  Well,  your  best  day's  sure  not  gonna  be  out  there.  [SpongeBob  wheels  Squidward  to  a  table  where  Patrick  stands  by  a  bowl  of  soup] ;s1e6_25
Patrick;" How  about  some  soup  on  your  best  day  ever?  [Squidward  looks  at  the  soup  and  sees  condensed  Alphabet  Soup  letters  spelling  out,  ""Best  Day  Ever""  Patrick  holds  up  a  spoon]  Here  we  go!  [scoops  some  up,  but  Squidward  makes  some  grunting  noises  in  refusal]  Oh,  it's  a  little  hot.  [blows  on  the  spoon,  sending  steaming  hot  soup  splashing  all  over  Squidward's  bandaged  face.  Patrick  notices  his  spoon  is  empty  and  refills  it  to  blow  on,  covering  Squidward  in  more  hot  soup.  This  continues  for  three  times  until  SpongeBob  pulls  the  soup  bowl  away  and  laughs  nervously] ";s1e6_26
SpongeBob; I  don't  think  soup  is  the  best  thing  for  him  on  his  best  day  ever.  [walks  near  a  music  stand  and  Squidward's  clarinet]  How  about  some  music  on  your  best  day  ever?  Played  on  your  very  own  clarinet.  [blows  into  it,  but  wind  comes  out  causing  Squidward  to  groan]  Sorry,  my  lips  are  a  little  dry.  [wets  his  lips  exaggeratedly  long  and  wet.  Just  when  he  prepares  to  blow,  a  disgusted  Patrick  snatches  the  clarinet  away] ;s1e6_27
Patrick; Music  isn't  best  either! ;s1e6_28
SpongeBob; But  what  is  best  is  what  we  saved  for  last.  The  one  sure-fire  thing  to  make  your  best  day  ever  the  best  day  ever!  [cut  to  SpongeBob,  Patrick  and  Squidward  in  Jellyfish  Fields.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  hold  nets] ;s1e6_29
{system}; [chanting]  Jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing,  jellyfishing! ;s1e6_30
SpongeBob; This  is  Jellyfish  Fields,  where  wild  jellyfish  roam  just  waiting  to  be  captured.  [Squidward  rides  away,  but  SpongeBob  catches  him]  No,  no,  Squid!  Over  here!  I  know  you're  eager,  but  you  don't  even  have  your  net.  Patrick,  fix  him  up  while  I  find  him  a  good  specimen. ;s1e6_31
Patrick; Firmly  grasp  it  in  your  hand.  [places  the  pole  end  on  Squidward's  bandaged  hand,  but  it  falls  because  he  can't  grab,  Patrick  picks  it  up]  Firmly  grasp  it.  [does  it  again  and  the  results  are  the  same.  Patrick  gets  frustrated]  Firmly  grasp  it.  [forcefully  jabs  the  net  through  Squidward's  bandaged  hand.  Squidward  lets  out  a  muffled  pained  scream]  That  ought  to  do  it.  [SpongeBob  spots  a  jellyfish] ;s1e6_32
SpongeBob; There's  one  in  position.  Ready...  set...  go!  [the  two  yell  out  words  of  encouragement  to  Squidward  and  jump  up  and  down,  but  Squidward  isn't  budging.  The  two  eventually  notice  Squidward  isn't  going  anywhere.  They  again  encourage  him,  but  still  nothing  happens] ;s1e6_33
Patrick;" I  think  we  gotta  show  him  how  it's  done.  [in  the  tune  of  ""The  Beautiful  Blue  Danube,""  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  dance  along  next  to  the  jellyfish  and  try  to  catch  it.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  sing,  and  even  the  jellyfish  hums  out  some  music.  After  several  attempts,  they  get  into  a  big  fight  with  stinging  and  such.  The  jellyfish  escapes  the  squabbles  and  swims  by  Squidward  and  stings  him  on  the  nose.  Squidward,  mad,  goes  after  the  jellyfish.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick,  still  getting  stung  by  jellyfish,  notice] ";s1e6_34
SpongeBob;" Hey,  look!  Squid's  doing  it!  [as  Squidward  chases,  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  cheer  him  on.  His  wheelchair  is  stopped  by  a  rock,  but  he  eventually  gets  back  on  track.  The  jellyfish  lands  on  a  pink  ""rock""  and  Squidward  catches  it.  He  laughs  triumphantly,  but  muffled  due  to  the  bandages  and  whacks  the  net  against  the  ""rock.""  The  ""rock""  surfaces,  revealing  to  be  a  really  huge  jellyfish--the  Queen  Jellyfish.  She  now  floats  above  Squidward.  Squidward  gulps.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  look  on.] ";s1e6_35
Patrick; This  guy's  good. ;s1e6_36
SpongeBob; He's  a  natural! ;s1e6_37
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Patrick  start  simultaneously  cheering  Squidward  on  as  he  tries  to  get  away  from  the  Queen  Jellyfish.] ;s1e6_38
Patrick; Yeah,  you  got  it,  Squidward! ;s1e6_39
SpongeBob; Yeah,  you're  doing  great!  Go,  Squid,  go! ;s1e6_40
Patrick; Yeah,  you're  doing  it,  Squid!  See  what  you've  been  missing?! ;s1e6_41
SpongeBob; Yeah,  you  got,  Squid! ;s1e6_42
Patrick; You  got  what  you  wanted,  Squidward!  You  can  go  that  distance!  Use  that  net! ;s1e6_43
SpongeBob; Be  the  net! ;s1e6_44
Patrick; Yeah!  You're  feeling  it,  Squid!  That's  it,  all  the  way!  The  last  6  miles,  make  that,  Squid!  Go,  go,  go! ;s1e6_45
SpongeBob; Yeah,  go  by  the  eye  of  the  tiger,  by  the  eye  of  the  tiger,  by  the  eye  of  the  tiger!  Better,  better,  better!  Yeah,  yeah,  yeah!  You've  got  it  now! ;s1e6_46
Patrick; It's  in  the  bag! ;s1e6_47
SpongeBob; This  is  really  your  best  day  ever,  isn't  it? ;s1e6_48
{system}; [The  Queen  Jellyfish  gives  Squidward  an  extremely  powerful  sting.  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  stop  cheering.] ;s1e6_49
Both;Oooh...;s1e6_50
{system}; [Cut  to  the  next  day  where  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walking  in  front  of  Squidward's  place  covered  in  bandages] ;s1e6_51
SpongeBob; Hey,  Patrick.  Well...  [sighs]  Thought  yesterday  went...  [hesitates]  pretty  well,  don't  you  think? ;s1e6_52
Patrick; I  had  fun. ;s1e6_53
SpongeBob; Me  too.  [some  whirring  is  heard  in  the  background] ;s1e6_54
Patrick; Here  comes  Squidward! ;s1e6_55
SpongeBob; Oh,  great.  [Squidward  approaches  in  a  stretcher]  Hey,  Squid!  How  about  that...  [Squidward  rolls  down  the  front  walk  in  a  wheeled  medical  bed  with  a  container  of  life-saving  fluid  and  in  a  full  body  cast.]  ...best  day  ever? ;s1e6_56
Patrick; There's  always  tomorrow!  [Squidward's  bed  bangs  on  the  door,  trying  to  get  in] ;s1e6_57
SpongeBob; Um,  we're  really  sorry  about  what  happened  yesterday,  Squidward.  [bangs  the  door  again]  Um,  we  got  you  a  present!  [it's  the  jellyfish  that  caused  Squidward  to  encounter  the  Queen  Jellyfish  in  a  jar]  It's  the  jellyfish.  [Squidward  scowls] ;s1e6_58
Patrick; You  know,  from  yesterday! ;s1e6_59
SpongeBob; You're  not  still  mad,  are  you?  [Squidward  opens  the  jar  in  SpongeBob  and  Patrick's  direction] ;s1e6_60
Patrick; Yup,  he's  still  mad.  [The  jellyfish  chases  after  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  and  stings  them  repeatedly  as  they  run  into  the  distance.  Squidward  laughs  to  himself,  his  nose  inflating  and  deflating  again.  The  Queen  Jellyfish  returns  and  zaps  him  again.  Now  he's  burnt  to  a  crisp.  The  cast  cracks  off  in  pieces,  leaving  a  completely  blackened  Squidward] ;s1e6_61
Squidward;Ow.;s1e6_62
{system}; [View  of  the  Krusty  Krab] ;s1e7_1
Squidward; [from  inside]  One  Krabby  Patty  for  table  two.  SpongeBob,  I  don't  have  the  whole  day. ;s1e7_2
{system}; [Cut  to  inside  of  the  kitchen] ;s1e7_3
SpongeBob; [speaking  in  French  accent]  Oui,  oui.  Un  Krabby  Patty,  Monsieur.  First,  les  patty.  [flips  it  up  in  the  air  and  it  falls  into  one  of  his  holes.  He  holds  up  the  other  ingredients.] ;s1e7_4
Squidward; Come  on,  SpongeBob! ;s1e7_5
SpongeBob; Next,  les  ingredients.  [throws  them  in  the  air]  Ah,  oui!  [catches  them  in  his  holes  and  his  pants]  Les  mustard.  [squirts  some  mustard  out  and  it  lands  in  his  eye] ;s1e7_6
Squidward; Les  quit  fooling  around,  where's  my  Krabby  Patty? ;s1e7_7
SpongeBob; Les  hold  on  a  second!  [takes  his  head  and  shakes  it  all  up.  When  he  puts  it  back  on  his  body,  his  eyes  roll  around.]  And...voila.  [goes  up  to  Squidward  and  pulls  a  Krabby  Patty  from  under  his  nose  speaking  in  normal  voice]  It's  under  your  nose!  [laughs  and  puts  it  on  a  plate.  Squidward  pretends  to  laugh.] ;s1e7_8
Squidward; You're  killing  me,  SpongeBob!  Ha  ha  ha...  you  really  are.  [Close-up  on  the  patty] ;s1e7_9
SpongeBob; Look  at  it,  Squidward.  Mr.  Krabs'  gift  to  all  of  Bikini  Bottom  --  the  Krabby  Patty.. ;s1e7_10
Squidward; Okay,  give  it  to  me.  [the  Krabby  Patty  flies  off  of  the  plate  and  starts  bouncing  all  over  the  place]  Come  on  SpongeBob,  stop  it! ;s1e7_11
SpongeBob; I  swear  I'm  not  doing  anything.  Mr.  Krabs!  The  Krabby  Patty  is  haunted!  [The  patty  slithers  out  the  door  and  heads  for  the  exit.  Mr.  Krabs  spears  it  with  his  leg.  A  tiny  thing  comes  out  from  it  and  Mr.  Krabs  inspects  it  with  a  magnifying  glass.] ;s1e7_12
 Mr.  Krabs ; Avast,  ye  patty  pirate!  This  is  no  ghost.  This  is...  [view  of  in  the  magnifying  glass,  of  a  tiny  jelly  bean-shaped  green  creature  with  one  eye]  Plankton!  Stealing  me  booty! ;s1e7_13
Plankton; Hear  me,  Krabs!  When  I  discover  your  formula  for  Krabby  Patties,  I'll  run  you  out  of  business!  I  went  to  college!  [Mr.  Krabs  picks  up  the  puny  pest]  Hey!  Let  me  go! ;s1e7_14
 Mr.  Krabs ; Oh,  I'll  let  you  go,  squirt.  On  a  flying  saucer!  [laughs,  then  splats  Plankton  on  a  plate  and  spins  him  back  across  the  street,  to  the  Chum  Bucket]  Back  to  the  Chum  Bucket  with  you! ;s1e7_15
Plankton; You'll  pay  for  this,  Krabs!  [slams  through  the  doors] ;s1e7_16
SpongeBob; Uh...  Plankton,  sir? ;s1e7_17
 Mr.  Krabs ; Aye,  he's  been  trying  to  steal  me  secret  formula  for  years,  but  you  haven't  got  it  yet,  have  ye,  bug?  [laughs.  SpongeBob  joins  in,  braying  with  laughter.  Mr.  Krabs  stops,  but  SpongeBob  keeps  laughing.]  Okay.  [SpongeBob  keeps  laughing]  Enough,  lad,  it  wasn't  that  funny.  [SpongeBob  keeps  laughing]  Get  back  to  work!  [SpongeBob  stops  laughing.] ;s1e7_18
{system}; [Cut  to  nighttime  at  the  Krusty  Krab.] ;s1e7_19
SpongeBob; [from  inside]  Okay,  Mr.  Krabs,  see  you  tomorrow! ;s1e7_20
 Mr.  Krabs ; Good  night,  me  boy!  [SpongeBob  walks  out  and  walks  past  the  Chum  Bucket  contently] ;s1e7_21
Plankton; [unseen]  Psst...  young  man.  [SpongeBob  looks  around  to  see  where  this  voice  came  from]  Yes,  over  here.  Come  on,  boy,  a  little  closer.  [SpongeBob  walks  forward]  Closer...  [SpongeBob  walks]  Not  that  close!  [a  crunching  sound  is  heard.  SpongeBob  lifts  up  his  shoe  revealing  a  squished  Plankton.]  You  blasted  barnacle  head!  I  mean...  hi. ;s1e7_22
SpongeBob; Plankton?  [SpongeBob  peels  Plankton  off  his  shoe  and  onto  his  hand] ;s1e7_23
Plankton;Ouch!;s1e7_24
SpongeBob; What  do  you  want? ;s1e7_25
Plankton; I  just  want  to  talk.  You  could  say  we're  friends,  right? ;s1e7_26
SpongeBob; Um...  no. ;s1e7_27
Plankton;Acquaintances?;s1e7_28
SpongeBob;No.;s1e7_29
Plankton; [beat]  Well,  we're  both  invertebrates,  aren't  we? ;s1e7_30
SpongeBob; I...  guess  so. ;s1e7_31
Plankton; You  see?  Everything  works  out.  I  have  something  for  you.  I've  been  keeping  it  in  my  secret  compartment.  [rummages  through  his  back  pocket  and  takes  out  a  golden  spatula]  Ching!  [in  unison  with  the  sparkling  of  the  spatula]  Sparkle,  sparkle. ;s1e7_32
SpongeBob; Wow!  A  golden  spatula!  And  it's  even  got  my  name  on  it. ;s1e7_33
Plankton; It's  a  gift!  A  gift  from  a  friend.  [hugs  SpongeBob's  thumb]  Friends  give  each  other  gifts,  and  tomorrow  is  my  birthday.  [puts  a  birthday  hat  on  his  head  and  SpongeBob's  thumb  and  then  blows  a  noisemaker.  He  then  takes  out  a  cake.]  And  you  know  what  I'd  like  more  than  anything  in  the  whole  wide  world?  [blows  out  the  candles] ;s1e7_34
SpongeBob; A  booster  seat?  [Plankton  takes  off  the  hat  and  throws  out  the  cake] ;s1e7_35
Plankton; Booster  seat?  Hot  dog!  I  mean,  no.  What  I  want  for  my  birthday  from  you,  my  friend,  is  one  of  those  [starts  to  drool]  tender...  delicious...  Krabby  Patties!  [SpongeBob  drops  Plankton  and  gasps] ;s1e7_36
SpongeBob; You  just  want  to  be  friends  so  you  can  get  your  hands  on  a  Krabby  Patty!  And  I  bet  it's  not  even  your  birthday  tomorrow! ;s1e7_37
Plankton; Gee,  and  I  thought  you  were  stupid. ;s1e7_38
SpongeBob; You'll  never  get  a  Krabby  Patty  from  me!  [walks  off,  then  stops]  Even  if  we  are  friends!  [runs  off]  Never,  never,  never,  never! ;s1e7_39
Plankton; Oh,  I'll  get  a  Krabby  Patty  and  you're  gonna  hand-deliver  it  to  me  personally!  You  weak-minded  fool!  [takes  out  a  gramophone  that  plays  evil  music  and  laughs  evilly  to  it.] ;s1e7_40
{system}; [Cut  to  SpongeBob's  bedroom,  where  SpongeBob  goes  to  sleep.] ;s1e7_41
SpongeBob; Good  night,  Gary. ;s1e7_42
{system}; [Gary  meows.  SpongeBob  goes  to  sleep.  Just  then,  one  of  the  flowers  on  SpongeBob's  bed  pattern  pops  up.  It's  Plankton  in  disguise,  wearing  a  backpack  that  looks  more  like  an  antenna-like  machine.] ;s1e7_43
Plankton; [chuckling]  SpongeBob,  you  will  be  mine!  [pulls  out  the  gramophone  and  laughs  evilly  to  it,  but  it  actually  plays  a  children's  song  of  the  A-B-C's.] ;s1e7_44
{system}; [Plankton  immediately  realizes  this  and  flips  the  record  around  on  the  other  side.  It  plays  the  evil  music  like  last  time  and  he  laughs.  Then  he  walks  through  one  of  SpongeBob's  holes  and  begins  his  journey.  Plankton  reads  a  map  that  looks  like  a  regular  road  map,  except  with  a  giant  brain  in  the  middle  of  it.] ;s1e7_45
Plankton;" It  should  be  in  here...  but  where?  [pan  out  to  reveal  he's  standing  on  the  brain]  Where?  Oh...  [takes  off  the  antenna  thing  on  his  back]  This  will  be  the  beginning  of  the  end!  [outside,  SpongeBob  rolls  to  his  left  in  his  sleep.  The  brain  falls  to  the  right  inside  and  Plankton  falls  off]  Ouch!  Stupid  brain...  [gives  chase]  Come  back  here,  you  swine!  [SpongeBob  then  rolls  to  his  right.  Inside,  the  brain  squishes  Plankton.  SpongeBob  then  sleeps  on  his  back  and  the  brain  stops  rolling.  Plankton  holds  up  a  roll  of  duct  tape]  That's  it,  brain,  you're  going  down!  [Plankton  uses  tape  to  hold  it  down]  Yes,  yes,  that's  grand.  [takes  out  blueprints]  And  now,  for  my  very  elaborate  and  college-educated  plan.  [the  blueprints  reveal  a  picture  of  the  antenna  thing  labeled  ""Control""  and  an  arrow  pointing  to  a  picture  of  a  brain  labeled  ""Brain.""  Plankton  follows  these  instructions  by  jamming  the  control  in  the  brain]  And  now,  it's  time  for  a  little  wakey-uppy.  [his  hands  on  the  control  levers,  he  uses  his  foot  to  press  the  ""Total  Control""  button.  Outside,  SpongeBob  wakes  up.] ";s1e7_46
SpongeBob; Morning  already?  [Plankton  jams  the  controls  causing  SpongeBob's  legs  to  jam  out  to  his  side.  He  rumbles  and  falls  down.  Plankton  laughs  evilly]  I...  I  feel  a  little  funny  today.  [using  the  controls,  he  makes  SpongeBob  walk.  Plankton  laughs] ;s1e7_47
Plankton; I  have  you  now!  [outside,  SpongeBob  keeps  walking  towards  the  kitchen] ;s1e7_48
SpongeBob; Time  for  a  well-balanced  breakfast.  [rams  through  the  wall  and  through  his  refrigerator,  emerging  with  bread,  a  bottle  of  milk,  and  an  egg  carton  on  his  head]  This  isn't  what  I  had  in  mind.  [walks  towards  the  straps  with  his  pants  attached]  Let  me  just  grab  my  pants.  [walks  toward  them  and  they  spring  him.  He  eventually  gives  free  and  keeps  walking.]  I  guess  I'm  not  wearing  any  pants  today.  [crashes  through  the  side  of  the  wall]  I  guess  I'm  not  using  the  door  either.  See  you  later,  Gary!  ...I  guess.  [Gary  meows]  You're  right,  Gary!  There  is  something  wrong  with  me!  Squidward!  Squidward!  Wake  up!  I  need  some  help!  [inside  Squidward's  house,  he  tries  to  sleep.  Off-screen.]  Squidward!  Help! ;s1e7_49
Squidward; Be  quiet,  SpongeBob! ;s1e7_50
{system}; [SpongeBob  bursts  through  the  wall  of  Squidward's  bedroom] ;s1e7_51
SpongeBob;Help!;s1e7_52
Squidward; SpongeBob!  What  are  you  doing?  I'm  talking  to  you!  SpongeBob!  SpongeBob,  are  you  mad?! ;s1e7_53
{system}; [SpongeBob  turns  his  head  to  Squidward] ;s1e7_54
Plankton; [through  SpongeBob]  Shut  your  mouth,  you  mediocre  clarinet  player. ;s1e7_55
Squidward; Mediocre?  [from  inside,  Plankton  speaks  through  a  microphone] ;s1e7_56
Plankton; You  pretentious,  little  insignificant  artist.  Your  snivelly  creations  are  worth  less  than  a  protozoan's  waste! ;s1e7_57
{system}; [SpongeBob  snaps  out  of  confusion] ;s1e7_58
SpongeBob; Something  must  be  wrong  with  my  brain!  [his  eyes  roll  into  the  back  of  his  head  and  he  sees  Plankton  and  gasps]  Plankton!  [Plankton  raises  his  eyebrow]  What  kind  of  friend  are  you?! ;s1e7_59
Plankton; Nonsense.  You  never  liked  me,  anyway.  You  wouldn't  even  come  to  my  birthday  party!  [from  outside] ;s1e7_60
SpongeBob; Get  out  of  my  head!  Leave  my  brain  alone! ;s1e7_61
Plankton; Never!  Never!  [laughs  and  SpongeBob  walks  out  backwards.  Squidward  turns  pale  and  faints.  SpongeBob  crashes  through  Patrick's  rock  and  reemerges  with  Patrick  sleeping  on  his  head.  SpongeBob  throws  him  off  and  he's  pinned  into  the  ground.  SpongeBob  walks  toward  the  Krusty  Krab.  Inside  SpongeBob.]  Toot  toot!  How  about  a  little  take-out? ;s1e7_62
SpongeBob; No!  No,  never!  [crashes  through  it,  reemerging  with  a  Krabby  Patty.  Plankton  laughs  evilly.]  You  can't  fool  me,  Plankton,  you  want  the  Krabby  Patty  formula!  [walks  into  the  Chum  Bucket] ;s1e7_63
Plankton; You  are  going  to  hand-deliver  it  to  me  personally! ;s1e7_64
SpongeBob; No,  no,  no!  [they're  inside  and  walk  through  a  door]  There's  no  one  here. ;s1e7_65
Plankton; Don't  remind  me.  Brace  yourself,  SpongeBob.  This  is  my  lab!  [the  room  he's  walked  into  has  a  screen  with  a  live-action  Labrador  Retriever.  The  dog  barks.  They  walk  into  the  next  room,  a  real  lab.]  And  this  is  my  laboratory!  And  did  I  ever  show  you  my  record  player?  [pulls  the  gramophone  out  again  and  it  plays  dramatic  music  and  laughs] ;s1e7_66
SpongeBob; I  must  fight!  [mumbles  nonsensically,  stretches  his  head  out,  and  bites  against  the  side  of  the  door.  His  body  keeps  trying  to  walk.] ;s1e7_67
Plankton; No,  no,  no,  no.  [pushes  the  levers  forward,  which  causes  SpongeBob  to  lose  grip  and  slam  against  the  wall  and  wobble  over  to  a  giant  funnel  thing]  There,  you  see  how  much  easier  it  is  when  you  help,  friend?  How  do  you  like  my  analyzer?  It  tells  the  ingredients  of  whatever  I  put  into  it.  [A  robot  arm  clenching  some  seaweed  comes  in  and  drops  it  in  the  giant  funnel  analyzer.  It  has  zapped  and  some  beeping  is  heard  from  the  giant  computer  screen.  The  screen,  then  reads  what  the  computer  says.] ;s1e7_68
Karen; Seaweed:  50%  Sea,  50%  Weed.  [a  picture  of  the  seaweed  appears] ;s1e7_69
Plankton; Impressed?  Now  let's  reveal  that  secret  formula.  [laughs  and  pulls  the  lever  forward,  letting  two  of  SpongeBob's  fingers  off  the  patty.  He's  holding  it  with  both  hands,  so  one  finger  from  each  hand.]  And  this  little  piggy  brought  home  a  Krabby  Patty.  [two  more  fingers  loose  grip.]  This  little  piggy  will  help  me  drop  it  in.  Any  last  words,  SpongeBob  SecretPants?  [SpongeBob  tries  to  resist,  but  stops] ;s1e7_70
SpongeBob; I  just  have  to  say  I'm  sorry  I  let  Mr.  Krabs  down.  [tears  start  to  come  out  of  his  eyes]  I  let  all  of  Bikini  Bottom  down.  But  worst  of  all,  I  let  you  down,  [one  of  his  teary  eyes  twinkles]  you  delicate  little  Krabby  Patty? ;s1e7_71
Plankton;Mmm...;s1e7_72
SpongeBob; [tearing  up  even  more]  With  your  tasty,  juicy,  scrumptious,  warm,  steamy  goodness.  [inside,  Plankton  starts  to  get  hungry] ;s1e7_73
Plankton; Steamy...  [a  live-action  patty  gets  assembled  on  screen  as  SpongeBob  states  the  ingredients] ;s1e7_74
SpongeBob; I'll  never  forget  your  100%  all-secret  patty,  secretly  assembled  with  undersea  cheese,  pickles,  lettuce,  tomato,  onion,  all  secretly  steamed  between  two  fluffy  seaweed-sea  buns.  [inside,  Plankton  starts  to  drool  excessively] ;s1e7_75
Plankton; Yes...  yes...  yes!  [jumps  out  of  one  of  SpongeBob's  holes  to  the  patty]  Come  to  papa!  [bounces  off  the  patty  and  lands  in  the  analyzer]  Oh,  boy...  [now  zapped  and  the  computer  reads  out  the  analysis] ;s1e7_76
Karen; Plankton:  1%  evil,  99%  hot  gas.  [Plankton  appears  on  the  screen] ;s1e7_77
Plankton; Well,  this  stinks. ;s1e7_78
SpongeBob; Well,  patty,  I  guess  we  can  go  home  now.  [walks  out] ;s1e7_79
Plankton; SpongeBob,  that's  my  Krabby  Patty!  [SpongeBob  walks  out  the  swivel  doors  and  they  go  back  and  forth]  Give  it  back,  you  porous  freak!  I  command  you!  My  patty!  [the  doors  come  to  a  close]  No!  I'll  settle  for  some  fries. ;s1e7_80
{system}; [Squidward  gets  dressed,  takes  a  shower,  gargles,  and  brushes  his  teeth.  He  re-enters  the  scene  in  a  tuxedo  with  his  hairpiece  and  sits  down  at  the  table.  He  hears  laughter  from  outside.  He  goes  to  the  window  and  notices  that  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  are  playing  with  bubbles.  SpongeBob  whispers  into  a  bubble  and  it  floats  over  to  Patrick  and  pops.] ;s1e8_1
SpongeBobBubble; Hi,  Patrick. ;s1e8_2
{system}; [Patrick  giggles  as  he  was  about  to  blow  a  bubble.  He  eats  the  bubble  and  whispers  into  another  bubble,  sending  it  over  to  SpongeBob  where  it  pops.] ;s1e8_3
PatrickBubble; Hi,  SpongeBob. ;s1e8_4
SpongeBob; [whispering  into  bubble]  Patrick,  you're  my  best  friend  in  the  whole  neighborhood. ;s1e8_5
{system}; [The  scene  cuts  to  Squidward's  back  window  as  he  finishes  stirring  the  liquid,  and  blows  a  bubble  with  it  through  the  fork.  Squidward's  bubble  is  approached  by  SpongeBob's  bubble,  grows  a  leg,  and  kicks  SpongeBob's  bubble,  thus  popping  it.  Squidward's  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick  and  pops.] ;s1e8_6
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  SpongeBob]  Patrick,  you  are  the  dumbest  idiot  it  has  ever  been  my  misfortune  to  know. ;s1e8_7
{system}; [Patrick  frowns  and  blows  a  bubble,  sending  it  over  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_8
PatrickBubble; Do  you  really  think  that,  SpongeBob? ;s1e8_9
SpongeBob; [whispering  into  the  bubble]  Of  course,  Patrick.  Anyone  with  eyes  can  see  that. ;s1e8_10
{system}; [The  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick  and  pops,  followed  by  another  bubble  floating  back  over  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_11
PatrickBubble; Yeah?  Well,  I  think  you're  ugly.  [another  bubble  comes  over  and  pops]  Yellow  is  ugly!  [two  other  bubbles,  but  smaller,  float  over  and  pops,  both  containing  raspberry  noises  for  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_12
SpongeBob; [talks  into  the  bubble,  puzzled]  Patrick,  what  are  you  talking  about? ;s1e8_13
{system}; [The  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick.  Another  of  Squidward's  bubbles  floats  over  to  SpongeBob  and  pops] ;s1e8_14
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  Patrick]  SpongeBob,  I  no  longer  wish  to  know  you. ;s1e8_15
{system}; [SpongeBob  gasps] ;s1e8_16
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  Patrick]  You  give  bottom  dwellers  a  bad  name. ;s1e8_17
{system}; [Squidward  creates  several  other  bubbles  and  they  float  over  to  SpongeBob] ;s1e8_18
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  Patrick]  If  I  had  a  dollar  for  every  brain  you  don't  have,  I'd  have  one  dollar! ;s1e8_19
{system}; [Squidward  chuckles.  Another  bubble  floats  over  to  Patrick] ;s1e8_20
SquidwardBubble; [mimicking  SpongeBob]  Hey,  Patrick,  I  heard  there  was  a  job  opening  down  at  the  pet  shop...  as  some  newspaper! ;s1e8_21
Patrick; [stands  up  and  yells  at  SpongeBob]  Well,  that  makes  you  a  big  dummy,  you  dummy! ;s1e8_22
SpongeBob; [stands  up  and  yells  at  Patrick]  Yeah,  well,  that  means  that,  uhh...  so  are  you! ;s1e8_23
Patrick; Right,  you're  a  turkey! ;s1e8_24
SpongeBob; What's  that? ;s1e8_25
{system}; [Squidward  arrives  outside  with  a  lawn  chair  and  his  souffle] ;s1e8_26
Patrick; It's  what  you  are! ;s1e8_27
{system}; [Squidward  begins  to  laugh  hysterically  at  SpongeBob  and  Patrick's  arguing.] ;s1e8_28
SpongeBob; Well,  you're  a  bigger  one! ;s1e8_29
Patrick; Well,  you're  still  yellow!  And  you  know  what  else  is  yellow? ;s1e8_30
SpongeBob;What?;s1e8_31
Patrick; You  are! ;s1e8_32
SpongeBob; Yeah?  Well,  it  doesn't  matter  what  you  call  me,  'cause  I  never  wanna  see  you  again  anyway!  [goes  inside  through  the  back  door  and  turns  around]  Aww,  tartar  sauce!  [shuts  the  door,  some  houses  in  the  background  briefly  jump  of  their  foundations] ;s1e8_33
{system}; [Patrick  angrily  opens  his  rock,  which  closes  and  comes  up  sounding  like  an  accordion.] ;s1e8_34
Patrick; Wow,  Squidward,  you're  choking!  [runs  over  to  Squidward]  Uhh...  uhh,  I  know  what  to  do,  but  I  should  wash  my  hands  first.  Oh,  well.  [takes  a  deep  breath  and  performs  CPR  on  Squidward.  As  he  is  doing  this,  each  one  of  Squidward's  tentacles  suction  cups  pops  up.  Eventually,  the  fork  comes  out  and  Patrick  catches  it]  I  win! ;s1e8_35
Squidward; Wow!  Patrick,  you  saved  me! ;s1e8_36
Patrick; I  did? ;s1e8_37
Squidward; Yup!  You're  a  real  lifesaver,  friend!  [shakes  Patrick's  hands] ;s1e8_38
Patrick; Friend?  [holds  Squidward]  Friend... ;s1e8_39
Squidward; [uneasily]  Yeah,  Patrick,  we're  friends...  [steps  back]  just  friends.  [they  both  notice  SpongeBob  is  gazing  from  his  window  with  a  blank  stare] ;s1e8_40
Patrick; So  what  are  we  gonna  do  tonight,  best  friend?  [walks  with  Squidward  over  to  the  Easter  Island  head] ;s1e8_41
Patrick; Clarinet?  I  love  music! ;s1e8_42
{system}; [Inside  the  pineapple,  SpongeBob  watches  the  two  go  inside  Squidward's  house] ;s1e8_43
SpongeBob; Ahh,  who  needs  them?  They're  no  fun  anyway,  right,  Gary?  [Gary  is  inside  his  shell]  Gary?  [knocks  on  his  shell,  it  sounds  hollow] ;s1e8_44
{system}; [Cut  to  Squidward's  house] ;s1e8_45
Squidward; Squidward  will  be  performing  his  version  of  Solitude  in  E  minor. ;s1e8_46
Patrick; [sitting  on  a  bench  while  clapping]  Yeah!  E  minor!  All  right!  Yeah! ;s1e8_47
{system}; [Squidward  takes  a  deep  breath  and  plays  a  note,  and  Patrick  immediately  falls  asleep,  to  the  annoyance  of  Squidward.  Scene  now  cuts  to  SpongeBob.] ;s1e8_48
SpongeBob; Ah,  what  am  I  worried  about?  I  got  plenty  of  friends!  I  can  name  three  right  off  the  bat!  [holds  up  three  fingers]  Uhh... ;s1e8_49
{system}; [SpongeBob  draws  faces  on  each  finger  with  a  broken  smile] ;s1e8_50
SpongeBob; The  gang's  all  here...  [looks  at  the  faces  on  his  fingers,  and  his  eyes  well  with  tears]  Ohhh! ;s1e8_51
{system}; [Squidward  is  dragging  Patrick,  who  is  still  asleep,  outside.  Suddenly,  after  a  few  feet,  his  back  gives  out] ;s1e8_52
Squidward; Ow!  Oh!  My  back!  I  threw  out  my  back! ;s1e8_53
SpongeBob; [sees  Squidward  in  pain]  Oh,  boy,  now's  my  chance!  [jumps  out  of  the  window] ;s1e8_54
Squidward; SpongeBob?  No,  no,  stay  back! ;s1e8_55
SpongeBob; [running]  Don't  worry,  Squidward!  I'm  coming! ;s1e8_56
Squidward; No,  no,  no,  get  away  from  me! ;s1e8_57
SpongeBob; Hang  on!  I'll  save  you!  [rips  off  his  suit  revealing  a  speedo  underneath] ;s1e8_58
Squidward; [tries  to  get  to  his  door]  No,  no!  Get  away  from  me!  No,  no! ;s1e8_59
SpongeBob; [jumps  off  a  diving  board]  Hold  on! ;s1e8_60
Squidward; No,  no!  Get  away!  [screams  as  SpongeBob  dives  into  his  back  cracking  it  back  into  place]  Oh!  I'm  ruined!  I'm...  I'm...  I'm...  I-I  feel  great!  Thanks,  SpongeBob!  You're  a  real  friend! ;s1e8_61
{system}; [SpongeBob  smiles  wide  in  glee] ;s1e8_62
SpongeBob;Friend...;s1e8_63
Squidward; N-no,  no,  no,  I  didn't  mean  that,  no-no. ;s1e8_64
SpongeBob; Don't  worry,  Squiddy,  old  pal.  That's  what  friends  are  for.  [Squidward  and  SpongeBob  walk  to  Squidward's  house,  an  Easter  Island  head.] ;s1e8_65
{system}; [SpongeBob  and  Squidward  are  inside  Squidward's  house] ;s1e8_66
SpongeBob; So  dumb  Patrick  fell  asleep  on  ya,  huh?  Some  friend.  A  real  friend  would  perform  for  you! ;s1e8_67
Squidward; You  play? ;s1e8_68
SpongeBob; Are  you  kidding?  I've  been  playing  bassinet  for  years!  [takes  one  from  the  wall]  Give  me  an  A,  buddy! ;s1e8_69
{system}; [Squidward  plays  a  note  and  SpongeBob  sings] ;s1e8_70
SpongeBob; Squidward  is  my  best  friend  in  the  world.  [grates  strings  with  bow]  Squidward  is  my  best  friend  in  the  sea... ;s1e8_71
{system}; [The  bow  flies  into  what  looks  like  Squidward's  head  and  he  screams.  Fortunately,  it  turns  out  it's  just  a  painting   the  real  Squidward  pulls  the  bow  out  and  growls  as  he  snaps  it  in  half  with  his  knee] ;s1e8_72
SpongeBob; [now  playing  with  his  fingers  like  a  guitar]  Squidward... ;s1e8_73
{system}; [Patrick,  now  fully  awake,  pops  in  through  the  window] ;s1e8_74
Patrick; Likes  Patrick  more  than  SpongeBob!  [SpongeBob  slams  the  window  in  Patrick's  face]  Oh! ;s1e8_75
SpongeBob; [strums  harder  before  slamming  the  bass  to  the  floor]  And  Patrick  is  a  dirty,  stinky,  rotten  friend  stealer!  [smashes  the  bass]  Umm,  I  can  fix  this. ;s1e8_76
{system}; [Squidward  is  steaming  red  in  fury.] ;s1e8_77
Squidward; Grrrrrryehhhhherrrryeh!  [kicks  SpongeBob  out] ;s1e8_78
SpongeBob; ...So,  uhh,  I'll  see  you  tomorrow,  Squidward!  Call  me! ;s1e8_79
{system}; [Cut  to  Squidward's  bathroom.  Squidward  begins  walking  into  the  bathroom.] ;s1e8_80
Squidward; Yech!  That  was  disgusting!  I  feel  like  I  need  to  scrub  myself.  [opens  up  the  curtain  and  screams  after  he  sees  Patrick  in  his  bathtub] ;s1e8_81
Patrick; Hey,  buddy.  I  warmed  it  up  for  ya.  [shows  him  a  brush  and  soap] ;s1e8_82
Squidward; Patrick!  Get  out!  And  put  some  clothes  on! ;s1e8_83
{system}; [SpongeBob  peeks  in  through  the  upstairs  window] ;s1e8_84
SpongeBob; What's  the  matter,  Squidward,  old  buddy?  [notices  Patrick  in  the  bath-tub]  Oh,  ho-ho!  So  this  is  what  I  find,  huh?!  My  best  friend  and  my  ex-best  friend  and...  [shown  bath  toys]  ...rubber  bath  toys! ;s1e8_85
Patrick; [simultaneously]  Oh,  yeah?!  Well,  he  was  my  friend  first! ;s1e8_86
SpongeBob; [simultaneously]  You're  just  a  backbiting,  backstabbing  silly  blob  of... ;s1e8_87
Squidward; [screams]  This  can't  be  happening  to  me!  [runs  away  while  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  stop  their  arguing  as  they  notice  Squidward's  gone] ;s1e8_88
SpongeBob;Buddy!;s1e8_89
Patrick; Squidward,  where  are  you?! ;s1e8_90
SpongeBob; Where'd  ya  go,  friend? ;s1e8_91
Patrick; Where  are  ya,  ol'  buddy? ;s1e8_92
Squidward; [hiding  in  a  trash  can]  Oh,  this  is  nuts!  I  need  a  plan  to  get  those  two  back  together  and  outta  my  hair! ;s1e8_93
{system}; [Bubble  transition.  Cut  to  next  scene,  at  SpongeBob's  house.  SpongeBob  reads  a  magazine.  The  doorbell  rings,  and  a  letter  is  pushed  under  the  door.  Then  he  smells  it] ;s1e8_94
SpongeBob; [sniffs  letter]  Squidward.  [opens  it]  A  dinner  party?  I'd  love  to!  [knocks  on  Squidward's  door  and  Squidward  opens  it]  Did  you  miss  me? ;s1e8_95
Squidward; Come  on  in!  You  look  stunning.  [shuts  the  door] ;s1e8_96
SpongeBob; I'd  much  rather  dine  with  you  than  that  lousy...  [gasps  when  he  sees  Patrick]  Say,  what  gives?!  I'm  not  sitting  near  that  maniac! ;s1e8_97
Patrick; Me  neither!  This  was  a  setup! ;s1e8_98
Squidward; I  thought  you  two  were  my  best  friends. ;s1e8_99
Squidward; [takes  out  a  bottle  of  soda]  Well,  how  about  some  soda,  guys?  [SpongeBob  shows  him  his  glass] ;s1e8_100
SpongeBob; Yes,  please!  [Squidward  gives  him  some  soda]  Thanks,  friend.  [flicks  Squidward's  nose  and  drinks] ;s1e8_101
Patrick; How  about  some  for  your  best  friend?  [SpongeBob  puts  his  glass  in  front  of  Patrick's,  so  he  gets  the  soda  instead  of  Patrick] ;s1e8_102
SpongeBob; Thanks,  best  friend!  [drinks] ;s1e8_103
Patrick; Can  I  have  some  now,  buddy? ;s1e8_104
SpongeBob; Wait,  I  need  some  more!  [pours  SpongeBob  another  glass] ;s1e8_105
Patrick; I  still  didn't  get  any!  [SpongeBob  gives  Patrick  his  soda] ;s1e8_106
SpongeBob; There  ya  go.  More  please!  [Squidward  fills  his  glass  as  SpongeBob  drinks  it  really  fast] ;s1e8_107
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_108
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_109
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_110
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_111
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward!  [shows  Squidward  his  glass  again,  but  it's  still  full]  Squidward! ;s1e8_112
Squidward; Patrick!  Your  glass  is  full! ;s1e8_113
Patrick; Oh,  yeah... ;s1e8_114
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_115
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_116
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_117
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_118
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_119
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_120
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_121
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_122
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_123
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_124
SpongeBob; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Squidward! ;s1e8_125
Patrick; [shows  Squidward  his  glass]  Hey,  Squidward! ;s1e8_126
{system}; [both  show  Squidward  their  glasses]  Squidward! ;s1e8_127
Squidward; Sorry,  boys,  I'm  all  out  of  pop.  I'm  gonna  go  get  some  more.  [walks  away]  Why  don't  you  just  stay  here  and  chat?  [closes  door.] ;s1e8_128
{system}; [Then  we  see  SpongeBob  and  Patrick.  They  are  extremely  fat  and  not  wanting  to  look  at  each  other.  Then  SpongeBob  hiccups  and  a  bubble  floats  up  and  pops  that  sounds  like  a  burp.  Both  of  them  laugh  and  the  entire  house  is  full  of  bubbles  as  Squidward  walks  up  to  his  door  with  a  grocery  bag.  Then  an  explosion  and  crashing  sounds  are  heard] ;s1e8_129
Squidward; I  should  just  walk  away  right  now.  [opens  door  to  find  his  house  destroyed]  What  a  surprise...  I  invited  them  in,  and  I  left  them  alone.  Well,  Squidward,  what  have  we  learned  today?  [pieces  around  the  door  break] ;s1e8_130
SpongeBob; Guess  what,  Squidward?  [both  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  hold  each  others'  hips  in  a  friendly  way] ;s1e8_131
Patrick; Me  and  SpongeBob  are  friends  again! ;s1e8_132
Squidward; Great,  now  go  be  friends  somewhere  else. ;s1e8_133
SpongeBob; Don't  you  want  us  to  help  you  clean  this  up  a  little? ;s1e8_134
Squidward; No!  Out! ;s1e8_135
{system}; [Both  SpongeBob  and  Patrick  walk  out] ;s1e8_136
SpongeBob; Psst,  I  think  he's  jealous. ;s1e8_137
Patrick; How  pathetic. ;s1e8_138
{system}; [Squidward  shuts  door  hard  and  when  he  turns  around  as  a  bubble  comes  and  pops  on  the  door  which  causes  the  door  to  fall  on  his  back] ;s1e8_139
Squidward; Ohhhhh,  my  back. ;s1e8_140
{system}; [SpongeBob's  foghorn  alarm  goes  off] ;s1e9_1
SpongeBob; This  is  it,  Gary! ;s1e9_2
Gary;" Meow.  [SpongeBob's  bed  bounces  up  and  flings  SpongeBob  onto  the  calendar,  where  he  lands  on  March  3rd  with  the  words  ""boating  exam  today!""  on  it  then  drops  to  the  floor] ";s1e9_3
SpongeBob; The  big  boating  exam  is  today!  I've  never  felt  so  capable!  [A  door  opens  from  underneath  him.  He  comes  out  of  his  house  riding  a  unicycle]  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready.  Squidward!  Squidward! ;s1e9_4
Squidward;What?;s1e9_5
SpongeBob; I'm  ready,  Squidward!  [rides  his  unicycle  around  Squidward's  house] ;s1e9_6
Squidward; Ready  to  move? ;s1e9_7
SpongeBob; No,  I'm  ready  to  pass  my  boating  test.  [rides  his  unicycle  towards  Mrs.  Puff's  Boating  School]  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready...  [stops  his  unicycle  near  a  dumpster  and  jumps  off  of  it]  I'm  ready-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-ready.  Well,  pal,  I  won't  be  needing  you  anymore.  [throws  the  unicycle  into  the  dumpster]  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready!  Oh,  yeah!  I'm  ready! ;s1e9_8
 Incidental  27 ; Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!  Yes!  Hey,  I  just  got  my  license! ;s1e9_9
SpongeBob; [snaps  his  fingers]  Hey,  I'm  getting  mine  next! ;s1e9_10
 Incidental  27 ; Hey,  I  doubt  it!  [walks  off] ;s1e9_11
SpongeBob; Okay,  see  you  on  the  road.  I'm  ready!  Here  I  come,  Mrs.  Puff!  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready,  I'm  ready.  [jumps  around  the  boardwalk.  Camera  goes  inside  the  school,  as  a  female  pufferfish  looks  out  the  window  and  sees  SpongeBob  jumping  around.] ;s1e9_12
 Mrs.  Puff ; [sighs]  I'm  not  ready.  [opens  the  door] ;s1e9_13
SpongeBob; Hi,  Mrs.  Puff!  Today  is  the  day  I'm  going  to  pass  my  boating  exam! ;s1e9_14
 Mrs.  Puff ; [with  a  clipboard  and  a  pen  in  hand]  We'll  see  about  that,  SpongeBob.  First  we  must... ;s1e9_15
SpongeBob; First  I  must  pass  the  oral  exam.  I  am  confident  in  my  abilities  to  successfully  succeed. ;s1e9_16
 Mrs.  Puff ; I  know.  Okay,  #1:  What  is  the  front  of  the  boat? ;s1e9_17
SpongeBob; The  bow.  [Mrs.  Puff  writes  down  his  answer] ;s1e9_18
 Mrs.  Puff ; What  is  the  back? ;s1e9_19
SpongeBob; Stern.  [Mrs.  Puff  writes  down  his  answer] ;s1e9_20
 Mrs.  Puff ; #3:  Right  is... ;s1e9_21
SpongeBob; Starboard.  [answers  the  remaining  questions]  Port.  Skipper.  Deck.  Cabin.  Galley.  Keel.  1924.  [Mrs.  Puff  writes  down  his  answers] ;s1e9_22
 Mrs.  Puff ; You've  passed  the  oral  test.  [sarcastically]  What  a  surprise.  [gets  in  the  boat  and  secures  herself  tightly]  Now  it's  time  to  once  again  take  the  driving  portion  of  the  exam.  Okay,  SpongeBob,  get  in  the  boat. ;s1e9_23
SpongeBob; Oh,  in  this  boat  right  here?  [looks  at  his  watch]  Is  it  time  already? ;s1e9_24
 Mrs.  Puff ; Get  in  the  boat,  SpongeBob. ;s1e9_25
SpongeBob; Oh  yeah,  absolutely.  [gets  in  and  closes  his  eyes  with  a  smile] ;s1e9_26
 Mrs.  Puff ; All  you  have  to  do  is  get  on  the  track. ;s1e9_27
{system}; [SpongeBob's  eyes  spring  open  in  awe he  looks  ahead  to  the  track  that  gets  longer  and  longer  in  delusion] ;s1e9_28
 Mrs.  Puff ; Okay,  SpongeBob,  what's  the  first  thing  you  do? ;s1e9_29
SpongeBob;1924...?;s1e9_30
 Mrs.  Puff ; No,  no.  First  thing  is  to  start  the  boat.  [turns  the  engine  on  and  SpongeBob  goes  crazy]  SpongeBob?  SpongeBob?  Relax,  it's  only  the  boat. ;s1e9_31
SpongeBob; The  boat? ;s1e9_32
 Mrs.  Puff ; Okay,  now  what  do  you  do  next? ;s1e9_33
SpongeBob; Floor  it? ;s1e9_34
 Mrs.  Puff ; Yes...  no!  No,  don't  floor  it. ;s1e9_35
SpongeBob; Floor  it?! ;s1e9_36
 Mrs.  Puff ; No,  no,  don't,  don't  floor  it! ;s1e9_37
SpongeBob; Okay,  floor  it!  [SpongeBob  slams  on  the  accelerator  and  starts  driving  backwards  really  fast] ;s1e9_38
 Mrs.  Puff ; No!  No,  no,  no,  nooooo!  [the  boat  whizzes  by  some  spectators  before  crashing  into  a  lighthouse.  After  crashing,  Mrs.  Puff  inflates  to  three  times  her  size.  The  lighthouse  falls,  and  Mrs.  Puff  speaks  with  a  deep  voice]  Oh,  SpongeBob,  why? ;s1e9_39
Fred; My  leg...! ;s1e9_40
SpongeBob; [in  his  bed  at  night]  I  don't  know  why,  Gary.  I  don't  know.  I'm  tired  of  failing  that  boating  test.  I've  already  taken  it  37  times. ;s1e9_41
Gary;Meow.;s1e9_42
SpongeBob; Okay,  38.  [puts  his  pillow  on  his  head] ;s1e9_43
Gary; [puts  on  SpongeBob's  boots]  Meow. ;s1e9_44
Patrick; [over  walkie-talkie  in  SpongeBob's  bed]  SpongeBob,  this  is  Star  Ranger,  over. ;s1e9_45
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  What  is  it,  Patrick? ;s1e9_46
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  I  got  a  surprise  for  you. ;s1e9_47
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  Oh,  Patrick,  I'm  not  in  the  mood. ;s1e9_48
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Get  out  of  bed.  [SpongeBob  gets  out  of  bed] ;s1e9_49
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  Okay,  now  what,  Patrick? ;s1e9_50
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Go  to  your  closet  for  a  surprise.  [SpongeBob  slides  down  a  room  and  stands  up  in  front  of  his  closet  door] ;s1e9_51
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  Okay,  I'm  at  the  closet. ;s1e9_52
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Listen  carefully.  What's  pink  and  square  at  the  same  time? ;s1e9_53
SpongeBob; [through  walkie-talkie]  I  don't  know,  Patrick.  [opens  the  closet  door,  revealing  Patrick  wearing  SpongeBob's  clothes] ;s1e9_54
Patrick; Patrick  SquarePants! ;s1e9_55
SpongeBob; [deadpan]  Pat,  don't  do  that.  [sits  in  a  chair]  I've  got  too  much  to  worry  about. ;s1e9_56
Patrick; What's  the  problem? ;s1e9_57
SpongeBob; I  can't  pass  my  boating  exam.  I've  taken  it  37... ;s1e9_58
Gary;Meow.;s1e9_59
SpongeBob; ...uhh,  38  times.  I  know  all  the  answers...  [Patrick's  square  pants  rip  off]  ...until  I  get  behind  the  wheel.  I  just  need  something  to  help  me  think  straight. ;s1e9_60
Patrick; Thinking  straight  is  what  I  do.  You  drive  and  I'll  do  all  the  thinking  for  you.  [takes  SpongeBob's  walkie-talkie] ;s1e9_61
SpongeBob; How  are  we  going  to  do  that?  [Patrick  puts  a  walkie-talkie  into  SpongeBob's  head  with  the  antenna  coming  out  of  the  top] ;s1e9_62
Patrick; Come  in,  SpongeBob.  Hello?  Hello? ;s1e9_63
SpongeBob; Hey!  I  can  hear  you  in  my  head!  This  is  great!  While  I'm  taking  the  test,  you  can  give  me  all  the  answers.  [notices  the  antenna  sticking  out]  Wait  a  minute,  Patrick.  Won't  I  look  silly  with  this  antenna  coming  out  of  my  head?  [Patrick  puts  a  tall  hat  over  the  antenna.  Next,  we  see  a  big  telescope  peeking  out  SpongeBob's  upstairs  window] ;s1e9_64
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Pat  to  Sponge,  Pat  to  Sponge,  testing,  testing.  [looking  through  the  telescope  at  SpongeBob]  Testing,  testing,  testing,  testing,  testing,  testing!  [loudly]  Testing!  [screams]  Test,  test.  Do  you  read?! ;s1e9_65
SpongeBob; Sponge  to  Pat,  I  read  you  loud  and  clear,  over. ;s1e9_66
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Got  your  apple  ready?  [SpongeBob  shows  an  apple]  Lucky  undergarments?  Hold  on.  Hold  on.  [focuses  in  on  the  underwear  with  the  telescope  to  reveal  the  word  lucky  on  the  top  of  it]  Bingo!  Underwear,  apple,  and  me.  You're  ready  to  get  that  license.  Uh-oh,  here  comes  Mrs.  Puff!  Act  natural.  [SpongeBob  jumps  out  of  the  boat,  then  gets  on  the  ground  on  all  fours  and  starts  chewing  grass.] ;s1e9_67
SpongeBob; [Moos  like  a  cow] ;s1e9_68
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  No,  no,  get  in  the  boat!  [SpongeBob  jumps  in  the  boat.  An  ambulance  arrives  with  its  siren  on  and  drops  off  Mrs.  Puff]  Give  her  the  apple.  [SpongeBob  gives  her  the  apple] ;s1e9_69
SpongeBob; Here  you  go,  ma'am.  [Mrs.  Puff  throws  apple  in  her  mouth  and  swallows] ;s1e9_70
 Mrs.  Puff ; Let's  get  this  over  with.  [takes  a  deep  breath]  What's  the  first  thing  you  do?  [puts  hands  and  arms  over  head  for  protection] ;s1e9_71
SpongeBob; [starts  to  get  scared]  Uhh... ;s1e9_72
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Start  the  boat.  [SpongeBob  starts  the  boat.  The  engine  starting  up  causes  Mrs.  Puff  to  go  crazy] ;s1e9_73
SpongeBob; Mrs.  Puff.  Mrs.  Puff! ;s1e9_74
 Mrs.  Puff ; Whoa-ho!  Huh?  What? ;s1e9_75
SpongeBob; It's  okay,  it's  only  the  boat. ;s1e9_76
 Mrs.  Puff ; The  boat?  You  started  the  boat? ;s1e9_77
SpongeBob; I...  I  think  so. ;s1e9_78
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh.  Well...  what's  the  second  thing  you  do? ;s1e9_79
SpongeBob;1924?;s1e9_80
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  No,  no,  put  it  in  drive. ;s1e9_81
SpongeBob; Put  it  in  drive? ;s1e9_82
 Mrs.  Puff ; Yes,  yes,  yes!  [SpongeBob  pushes  lever  down  to  drive]  Put  it  in  drive.  Then  what? ;s1e9_83
SpongeBob; [lifts  leg  up]  Floor  it? ;s1e9_84
 Mrs.  Puff ; No!  [screams]  No! ;s1e9_85
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Freeze,  mister!  [SpongeBob  stops]  Big  toe.  [SpongeBob's  big  toe  pops  out  of  his  shoe  and  gently  pushes  the  accelerator  down] ;s1e9_86
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh,  gracious.  Oh,  gracious!  Oh-oh.  Ha-ha!  Ah,  we  haven't  crashed  yet. ;s1e9_87
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Okay,  you're  coming  to  your  first  turn.  [a  giant  wall  with  the  word  wall  on  it  is  shown  and  a  left  curve] ;s1e9_88
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh  no,  the  first  turn.  Please,  tell  me  you  know  what  to  do  at  the  first  turn! ;s1e9_89
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Left.  [SpongeBob  turns  left] ;s1e9_90
 Mrs.  Puff ;Oh!;s1e9_91
Patrick; [through  walkie-talkie]  Right.  [SpongeBob  turns  right] ;s1e9_92
 Mrs.  Puff ; Oh!  My,  this  is  splendid,  SpongeBob.  You're  doing  fine. ;s1e9_93
Montage; [SpongeBob  stops  at  a  stop  sign  and  looks  both  ways  before  starting  to  drive  again.  Then  drives  around  with  his  left  arm  out  making  a  signal.  Patrick  still  talking  to  SpongeBob  through  the  walkie-talkie  as  SpongeBob  drives  over  a  big  hill  in  the  road.  As  Mrs.  Puff  writes  a  couple  things  on  her  clipboard,  Patrick  is  putting  on  another  pair  of  SquarePants.  SpongeBob  pulls  back  on  the  boat  and  the  boat  jumps  in  the  air  over  a  big  anchor.  Patrick  finds  SpongeBob's  diary  and  begins  to  read  and  laugh  at  it  as  SpongeBob  jumps  off  a  ramp  through  a  ring  of  fire.  Fred  is  walking  across  the  course  but  SpongeBob  stops  the  boat  and  helps  him  walk  across.  He  gets  back  in  the  boat  as  Patrick  is  eating  out  of  SpongeBob's  fridge.  SpongeBob  is  sitting  back  and  driving  with  his  feet  and  driving  upside  down.] ;s1e9_94
 Mrs.  Puff ; Splendid!  Wonderful!  [sign  that  reads  finish  line  is  just  ahead]  There's  the  finish  line.  It's  unbelievable.  You've  shown  the  most  spectacular  improvement  of  any  student  I've  ever  seen.  What's  your  secret?  A  little  radio  in  your  head?  [everyone  laughs]  Oh,  and  under  that  hat  is  some  kind  of,  uhh,  antenna?  [everyone  laughs  again]  And  some  guy  miles  away  from  here  is  giving  you  all  the  answers?  [everyone  laughs  a  third  time]  Oh,  yes,  but  that  would  be  cheating. ;s1e9_95
{system}; [SpongeBob  opens  his  eyes  wide  realizing  he  is  cheating only  Patrick  laughs] ;s1e9_96
Patrick; Cheating!  [laughing  hysterically] ;s1e9_97
SpongeBob; I'm  cheating?!  Mrs.  Puff! ;s1e9_98
 Mrs.  Puff ; Yes,  my  star  pupil? ;s1e9_99
SpongeBob; I  think  I'm  cheating. ;s1e9_100
 Mrs.  Puff ; What's  that,  dear?  [SpongeBob  takes  a  hold  of  Mrs.  Puff] ;s1e9_101
SpongeBob; I  think  I  am  cheating! ;s1e9_102
 Mrs.  Puff ; You've...  you've  let  go  of  the  wheel. ;s1e9_103
SpongeBob; I  do  have  an  antenna  under  my  hat!  [shows  the  antenna  under  his  hat]  There  is  a  guy  giving  me  all  the  answers!  It's  all  true!  [crying]  I'm  cheating!  I'm  cheating!  I'm  cheating! ;s1e9_104
Patrick; What?!  [runs  out  of  SpongeBob's  house  and  back  under  his  rock,  crying] ;s1e9_105
SpongeBob; I'm  sorry,  Mrs.  Puff!  I'm  sorry! ;s1e9_106
 Mrs.  Puff ; [panicking]  The  wheel,  SpongeBob!  The  wheel... ;s1e9_107
SpongeBob; Cheating...  I'm  a  cheater!  Cheater... ;s1e9_108
 Mrs.  Puff ; No,  no,  no!  It's  quite  alright!  You  can  cheat  that  way! ;s1e9_109
SpongeBob; No...  I'm  cheating...! ;s1e9_110
 Mrs.  Puff ; At  least,  SpongeBob... ;s1e9_111
SpongeBob; I'm  cheating! ;s1e9_112
 Mrs.  Puff ; Cheat  that  way!  That  way! ;s1e9_113
SpongeBob; I'm  a  cheater,  cheater,  pumpkin  eater! ;s1e9_114
 Mrs.  Puff ; It's  okay  to  cheat  today! ;s1e9_115
SpongeBob;No...!;s1e9_116
 Mrs.  Puff ; That  way!  That  way!  Cheat  that  way! ;s1e9_117
SpongeBob; Cheater...!  [crashes  offscreen  head-on  into  the  same  lighthouse.  Mrs.  Puff  inflates  with  a  look  of  despair.  The  lighthouse  falls  yet  again] ;s1e9_118
 Mrs.  Puff ; [deep  voice]  Oh,  SpongeBob,  why? ;s1e9_119
SpongeBob; Mrs.  Puff,  I  think  I  cheated. ;s1e9_120
Fred; My  leg!  [some  time  later,  EMTs  are  wheeling  a  still-inflated  Mrs.  Puff  away  on  a  gurney] ;s1e9_121
SpongeBob; Uhh,  I'm  sorry  for  letting  you  down  again,  Mrs.  Puff. ;s1e9_122
 Mrs.  Puff ; [normal  voice]  It's  okay,  SpongeBob,  you  didn't  mean  it.  Okay,  boys,  take  me  away.  [EMTs  shove  Mrs.  Puff  into  the  ambulance] ;s1e9_123
SpongeBob; Don't  worry,  Mrs.  Puff.  I'll  try  harder  next  semester.  [Mrs.  Puff  cries  as  she  is  taken  away  by  the  ambulance]  It'll  be  great!  [walks  away]  Only  now  I  don't  even  have  my  bike. ;s1e9_124
Gary; [with  SpongeBob's  unicycle]  Meow. ;s1e9_125
SpongeBob; Gary!  My  bike!  You  found  it!  This  sponge  is  still  mobile!  [rides  away  on  his  bike  with  Gary  on  his  head]  Alright,  let's  go  surprise  someone  at  the  hospital! ;s1e9_126