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alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
1
1985-1997
1957
F
A
The one at the Meads's house, where it's bigger inside than out; there's a European village just inside, with a cobblestone street and a Pied-Piper sort of man with curly hair, he can do things like juggle - I go up the back stairs [there aren't any in the real house] and then down the other side [since there's a second set, immediately] then down a short empty hallway that turns a corner, where I find a tiny room...a young woman with shoulder-length blonde hair in a pageboy is there, cooking at a stove that almost fills the room...she's nice to me. Now outside, I'm waiting for my aunt to pick me up - she arrives in a little round convertible and we go for a drive, not very far - we cross a little bridge over a creek, then double back and she drops me off at the house again. Inside (?) I sit with a couple of people, playing with a string of blue balloons.
1MSA, 1FSA, 1FKA, 2ISA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
2
1985-1997
8/11/67
F
A
I'm at a family reunion in a large fine house with grounds (or a maybe a rented public building like in a park) - maybe it's granite or something, very imposing. I'm on a little round balcony with a few others (I think men), there are lots more people inside. I feel faint and collapse. They see that I'm very sick, and quickly take me to a car to go to the hospital. (I don't see any of that, the next I know is that I'm lying in the back seat of the car - a sedan - going like gangbusters on a huge freeway. It must be 5 lanes in each direction, lots of cars but not crowded, and all going really fast. I can't see anything else but freeway and blue sky, with a few white clouds. As we barrel along, the road rises, and quickly - soon it changes to steps, which doesn't slow anybody down, and it keeps going up, the incline increasing. Now my line of sight changes to a spot at the side of the freeway (outside of the car), looking across it - and the incline (without the steps) takes a sharp turn up to vertical. The cars are not stopping or even slowing down, and they whoosh straight up. They make it about halfway up on momentum, and then gravity takes over and they fall down. I can see them sort of drop off [rather than sliding down still in contact with the pavement] and fall down way below me.
2MSA, 2JSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
3
1985-1997
8/1/85
F
A
I watch a plane fly past and shortly realize it was too low. It crashes not half a block away (rather as though it fell from a height of a few yards than flying straight into the ground). and I think there might be survivors, and that I should call the police. Before I get the number dialed, I realize I want the fire department instead. I get no ring, try again and find the line is dead. Some people (3? - at least one a woman) are coming toward the house and I understand they are responsible for the dead phone and I should be suspicious of them. I try to leave the house - run into a pregnant girl at the back; she seems to be in some sort of a bad way and has maybe started labor. The woman from the plane comes this way, calls the others to come get the pregnant girl, and I pretend to be asleep or dead. They don't buy it, I guess, and we all go inside. <br />&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; I'm not a prisoner, I don't think, so much as being detained for some reason, and I go to my brother's old room. He moved out of it a couple of years ago but there is furniture still there and I haven't looked around in a long time. [This does not seem to be the family home - I felt like it was rented.] There are a couple of chests of drawers that I realize I could have used downstairs long ago, yet I've been looking for acceptable furniture all this time. Also there are blankets (as well as clothes and shoes - women's shoes - but they aren't important), a lot of blankets, and I badly needed those last winter but didn't realize they were here. Also a very nice shoe rack. The woman comes back to say or do something. [I don't know what, and the dream ended about there, I think.]
2ISA, 1FSA, 2ISA, 1MKA, 1MKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
4
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
Me pulling the green leaves and berries off some branches or a bush (not from a live one growing in the ground, but inside the house). A boy of 10 or 12 is impatiently telling me, "Mother's asleep" (I think) - as if I'm not supposed to be doing what I'm doing instead of her or without her knowledge or something. This is in an old rambling house with lots of old furniture and interconnected rooms. Lace doilies on little tables, throw rugs, etc. Some of "us" (family? friends?) - there's 3 or 4 of us, I think - are outside and there's a dog on the rampage - didn't we think it was a wolf at first? Anyway it turns out to be a black boxer or bulldog or something and it charges the back door. There's some kind of flap or opening in it that I plug up - I don't know what the people outside are doing but they're okay and they come in shortly. Somebody has rather by accident invited somebody like a neighbor to come over for something on the order of borrowing a cup of sugar. Trouble is this person always has a party with him/her. Kind of a group of hangers-on who just hang around talking and drinking tea and you can't ever get them to go away. For some reason I go to the front door. There are 2 of them in the room at the front, in a couple of chairs each with doilies, and little tables next to them with doilies and little lamps, and I think they're men in fairly formal suits and oblivious to anything around them. I sort of look at them in resignation or bemusement. There's a staircase here. (They don't go upstairs, after all they are just visitors, not a mob.) Outside there is a hutch as for rabbits or something, covered, not particularly nice. Next to it are a couple of little open shelters with no amenities. There is a guinea pig in each place. The sun is shining directly on the two outside and it's hot. The one inside is not particularly comfortable but he's okay. The other two are dehydrating and too weak to move. I come and look at them, feeling sad and sympathetic but no anger - I have the idea the person who set this up isn't there. I'm going to take them in and try to save them but I'm not sure I can. I'm not going to just let them die out here. The reason they're here if because they were replaced by the one inside like their usefulness as displays was used up. I want to come back and take away the other one, and get him out of the nasty cage. I'm sad.
1MSC, 1FKA, 2JSA, 1ANI, 2MSA, 1ANI
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
5
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
I'm in a room that reminds me of (but definitely isn't) the living room of the house on A Street. I am there because I live there or at least it belongs to me and I spend time there, and I am on vacation or something. It's afternoon and I remember how the light looked and my cousin came to see me for a visit, as though to let me in on some news or just for fun. I don't know of anything else that happened, but it did involve him lying around on the floor very much the way I do. Very comfortable and casual and warm - that is, that's the way I was feeling. So there's a Training going on, and the room reminds me a bit of school, like a school auditorium. The light is greenish, daylight, morning. The staff wasn't sitting behind tables but in rows of chairs. It was still early - we were instructed to go up on the stage, and we did, but they weren't quite organized and we were standing there for a while. Very informal and chummy. Later I left for a break and went (home?) somewhere away, not a restaurant, for more time than a dinner break. Pete Townsend was with me and maybe some other people. (He wasn't on the team.) Don't know what was going on there, but when it was time to go back we had an errand to run - stopped at a sort of store on a sort of small-town main street. We were going inside and this guy who was with us burst out at me - I don't know what about - and said he was arresting me and getting a peace bond on me. I was shocked but didn't know what it was about except that he was angry at the effect I was having on the group of people that P.T. was involved with. In any case, he keeps me with him and we may have gone inside and come back out again. The place reminds me rather of a dry-goods store, with rows of waist-high bins, and a counter along the side. On the way out, P.T. takes the guy aside and says something very stern and final-sounding in French. I knew it was French but I don't understand it and that was the reason he was using it, so that I wouldn't be embarrassed or have to hear something I wouldn't want to. The guy said something back in French but shorter. P.T. just looked at him like he was disgusted and all through, and took me outside. We got in the car and were driving back - I was still kind of stunned and found he was talking to me - he was explaining something about the incident, and that he could do without this other guy, who I think had been his friend; but he couldn't do without me. He looked at me and said very firmly, "I need you". I was overwhelmed and leaned over to him and he pulled me over for a hug. At some point I was concerned that we weren't going to get back to the Training in time because of stopping for an errand, and I thought there might turn out to be another and another, the way I do it.
1MKA, 2IOA, 1MKA, 2JSA, 1MSA
CO D, AN 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
6
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
Living next door to Loretta in an apartment - looks as if we just moved in or were just moving out. I'm in her place, and aware that the door is open to my place and anyone could walk in and steal things. (It's also as though there's no front wall at all - and this is upstairs, not inside the building but facing outside, we're at the end of the walkway and the stairs are at the other end so anyone coming would pass my place first). Don't know what's happening, but there's a group of people involved. At least 3 of us stop at a grocery store on our way somewhere - an outing of some sort, like a picnic or an amusement park. The 3rd person is a woman I don't recognize, but she's friendly and energetic - I think she has a kid - this is her store and she knows what we're looking for. It's the sort of place you don't see much anymore - leftover from the Fifties and Sixties. Funny lighting. Also a brief image of going high on an overpass in an open car - don't know who's driving - blue skies, sunlight - there's something beside the overpass that we mean to grab at but it's not easy to reach and we think it's best not to try.
1FKA, 2JSA, 1FSA, 1ISA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
7
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
Kidnapped - I'm on my way somewhere else (by car?) and stop to visit with some people I know - seems like a few houses or buildings together, maybe like a small village out in the country somewhere. Some people with guns turn up, rather like political terrorists, and they're going to keep us prisoner until something, but I don't know what. I grouse about it and use the word "kidnapped" and they think it rather an affront that I would use the word - hurt their feelings. I'm rather in two minds about trying to escape - I think it's the right thing to do but I'm not sure because I find I don't trust these people not to shoot me (!) or the others not to botch the job. In the end, one of them gives me an opportunity - I kind of think voluntarily - and I run. Somebody chases me, but I keep on running - stop once and look around, decide to keep running just in case. They give up fairly soon. Later I go back, after they've been caught - I don't know if that was my doing or not - and there was some problem with punishing them. I'm real mad because I don't think they're being dealt with harshly enough. My friends try to talk to me, make me see that they aren't such bad guys as I made them out to be, and I won't listen. (And they aren't - they didn't hurt anybody, or get nasty. My biggest problem was being so angry at the insult to my freedom, that anyone would think he or she had any right to interfere with it for any reason.)
2JKA, 2ISA, 1ISA, 1ISA
AN D, AN D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
8
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
I'm alone in an apartment - old place, inside the building - it's dark, maybe I've gone to bed - somebody breaks in, there's at least 2 of them and they come towards my room, being quiet, they don't know I'm here. I can't lock the door (or maybe it makes too much noise) but I try to hold the door shut so they'll think it is. Doesn't work. A guy with a knife comes in - black, looks the part of a bad guy, leather jacket, nasty expression. Waves the knife. I say, "you don't need that knife" and he says something like, "Oh, so I don't need the knife, huh?" - sneering-like, and feints it at my face. I am very aware there's nothing I can do to help myself and I'm afraid but stand still. He pushes the knife at me again and I grab his wrist and he sort of turns the knife upward to cut my wrist with it - I'm aware that even if I can kick him I'm probably going to die or get hurt.
1MSA, 1MSA
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
9
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
I'm somewhere with a friend I don't want to be around much and going back to her house and then elsewhere on errands. She asks me to take something with me to return to the library. At her house I see her mother and stepfather. (Rather young and both attractive.) They're both in a hurry to get somewhere too, rushing about. I seem to want to stay, or I want something from them, and am reluctant to go out the door - but I do, and stick my head back in several times with one last question. Then I remember the library - the things to take back are very large magazines ("American Baby"?) And even have "return to Marty" written on the front - Marty is the mother - so I say to her, "don't you work right by the library?" and she says yes, she'll take them for me, so that was nice. I can almost remember where she worked, someplace like an aerospace or computer office, standard modern waiting room, light colors, plants, etc.
1FKA, 1MKA, 1MKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
10
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
I am in some public place, reminds me of the grocery store in another dream, or lots of airports - there is food involved, and for some reason or other people are eating in the restroom. (This isn't normal.) I'm sitting at the mirror-counter next to a man, and am very ill at ease about it. There's no actual reason for it, it's entirely the principle of the thing.
2JSA, 1MSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
11
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
At a school - I don't think I actually go to it but I'm with somebody else; it's real close to the end of the year and everybody has a what-the-hell attitude. We're in a big open room without chairs to see a film (educational, of course) and my friend parks beside a big obnoxious-looking woman (also not a standard-issue school student) but I don't relish the idea so I pick another spot and my friend joins me. The film rolls and it involves sport or dancing, and a couple of kids get up to demonstrate something which involves vigorous movement, and they "dance" right outside to the open grass and air - a spot rather like one at Scarb Faire. I seem to have come along for the ride, as has somebody from the class who's supposed to be getting them back in the classroom and doesn't really care any more than they do. The routine is something like, "well I looked but I didn't find them" and everybody goes their merry way.
1ISA, 1FSA, 2JSA, 1IKA, 1IKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
12
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
Me and MB (one of my cats) in a big fancy dark-colored van - going to some kind of a show. She was in a cage to go there but came out for it - don't know what happened at (like an auditorium?) but we came back to the van. I put her in the driver's side door and went around to the other. Then I fiddled with the door a long time. It was a double swing door, and I hadn't known about this one inside latch about 2/3 up the door - black switch - that latched the side without a handle by itself. I tried several different things to see what it did, then when I got the whole thing shut up it was real dark inside and everything was real awkward. MB went back in her cage and we started off, but I was having some trouble handling the van. We were going along a dirt road on the grounds of the auditorium, joining a line of cars to get to some place like a campground for another event. We weren't gonna stay but I wanted to do something there. We were behind a guy with dark hair and a blonde older woman in a convertible and the guy first looks startled, then nervous, then annoyed at the van. Keeps looking around at us and I wondered what I was doing wrong. I figured I was driving the van backwards at first and looked out for a place I could turn around, but then I realized I wasn't backward, but I was on the passenger side driving with an auxiliary steering wheel. Would've been difficult to change but I figured I was managing all right anyway, so I went on. When we were entering the campground, something happened to the guy in front of us. He's now in a hole in the middle of the road, like up to his shoulders, and he's bitching at a rabbit, who's come up to look at him. He has to duck down for cars to go over the road, rabbit runs off, we go to a place where the road circles around at its end and people have parked. Bit of a hill it's on. Concrete or stone toilet-building like they have in parks. I swing the van around this tight little circle looking for an empty space and there really isn't one, but the swinging around is something of a challenge and apparently it made an impression because some people clapped. I did stop the van in a place that I figured I couldn't leave it but I just wanted to ask somebody the price of cattle. Somebody told me $31 a head and I wanted to explain that I meant a sort of middle-range rather than the best, or real cheap.
1ANI, 1FSA, 1FSA, 1ANI
CO 1FKA, AN 1FKA, CO D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
13
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
I arrive at a little frame house on a nice little residential street, in a car in the company of a couple of older women. It's been raining and might rain again. It's dark but not necessarily night. We go into the house, which belongs to another nice little old lady. We have an errand there and ought to get back somewhere pretty soon. Seems to me we're all a trifle edgy about something, but not all of us know what about. Like the lady of the house here - she knows something's not right, but isn't asking for explanation.
2FSA, 1FSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
14
1985-1997
1985?
F
A
I'm in my own apartment by myself and have to go outside for something - it's in an apartment complex more typical of the old place on N Street - regular white box. It's dark and gray and rainy outside, and I'm not anxious to get wet, but I have to do this - maybe while it's not raining hard but only dripping I can get out and back again. There isn't anybody around and I'm kind of apprehensive about it - the place is not exactly cheerful and gay on a good day, but now it's almost sinister. I'm blocked by the gutter runoffs to get into my apartment, and I don't much fancy trying to go round the long way. I wait for it to slack off so I can duck it, but I get pretty wet anyway. The door of my apartment is standing open (I didn't go far), and somehow I've got an idea there's somebody in here. I haven't seen a soul around and I wasn't out of sight of the door for very long but I've got this feeling anyway. I pause at the door and stick my head inside, looking around. (There really isn't any furniture in here to speak of - it looks a lot like I've just moved in, or maybe I'm getting ready to move out but I don't think so.) I think I call out - suppose it would be "Is anybody here?" And there's silence for a bit, then my cousin comes out of the hallway. (He looks healthier than usual - an enhanced my cousin, clearer, rounder, more cheerful and easy.) He's come to visit and I was expecting him but didn't know when - he's glad to see me and I'm relieved but still a bit paranoid.
1MKA
AP D, HA 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
15
1985-1997
1/11/86
F
A
I'm in a car with some people coming from a downtown area to a place past lots of trees and some development. We pass a (power?) pole that has things coming off it that look like weird limbs and I'm surprised, and explain it to the others, who think that's a little strange but amusing. <br />&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; We're some sort of family group but I don't know who they are now.
2JSA, 2JSA
CO D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
16
1985-1997
1/11/86
F
A
I'm in a little store with another woman and maybe a kid - looks like an antique store but has other things, including odd-looking Christmas ornaments. I'm admiring some of them - also the others find some bubble-pack things, toys that are from a film whose name they can't place, but I'm familiar with it - takes me a minute to get it right and then there's another related set nearby that's from another movie I recall right away - they're both like children's science-fiction, and English, which is why I know them and the others don't. There is some element of this all being a bit strange.
1FSA, 1ISC
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
17
1985-1997
1/12/86
F
A
I am with a lot of LT people, at something like a talk - a church service - don't know. Ben is there and he kisses me the way he usually does and asks me to go out with him - not just for one date, for fun, but sort of like a trial going steady. I say it may be okay, but I want to think about it and talk to Sue S.. I don't actually do that, but I do see Sue sometime else in the dream, she's sitting in the "audience" sort of place and there's a very loose sort of atmosphere where we are, as though it were an ongoing class and you can divert your attention from it to talk to people - very much as the Training is, but not physically set up that way and we're not actually doing anything but looking on.
2JKA, 1MKA, 1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
18
1985-1997
1/14/86
F
A
Another old house - Melanie coming over - lip-synching in front of mirror to something big and bluesy - somebody came in right after, says she does the same thing - big open place like a studio - in a living room with Barbara and somebody else, visiting - talked about something like my trip somewhere, was it Renaissance Faire or SCA? Or plan for going there? Pipes on couch - had to move them to sit the way I want - plain poles like the chairset poles.
1FKA, 1ISA, 1FKA, 1ISA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
19
1985-1997
1/14/86
F
A
Or deliver me to house? We sit in car, M. looks up at very strange dragonfly - looks like a weird plane till I see it's quite close and lands on a tree. Baby one with it. Bunch of other animals come out in front yard - somebody else comes out with - one cat comes up to car the way a dog would, stands up to window and acts like it'll jump in - I rub its head and say hello - it's an old friend (my cat?) - big gray, round sturdy head. <br />&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; I ask my cousin about paying him this weekend. "What I figure is $60 every other week, ok?" - afraid he's going to say otherwise. Doesn't answer before dream ends.
1MKA, 1ANI, 2ANI, 1ISC, 1ANI, 1MKA
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
20
1985-1997
1/14/86
F
A
Eating in a back hallway - Jimmy comes along and orders big meal - when it comes on huge tray, waiter knocks off something of mine and one of J's plates slides off. As I pick mine up it sticks in cheese and nearly pulls J's steak onto floor - it barely goes on again. Get everything right and J's asking if he can get new steak - several little tables involved with drop leaves and no shelves.
1MKA, 1MOA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
21
1985-1997
1/18/86
F
A
I'm on a footbridge with some friends and there's a baby bear that I want a closer look at because he really doesn't look like a bear. I fall off the bridge but I hold onto a rope and a fence that's a short distance from the bridge for some reason. I can swing back to the bridge but need help to get back up and I yell for my friends and they don't stop right away.
2IKA, 1ANI
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
22
1985-1997
1/19/86
F
A
At work (?) was on the elevator with an older woman who wasn't sure what floor she wanted so she pushed extra buttons - I'd already gone up when I meant to go down to 2, and wasn't thrilled at having to stop so much. So I got off (she was surprised I took exception) and found myself outside, sort of, and now I have to get in a car that goes somewhere down some streets like in Oak town - the car was like an old '50s sort of thing with fins and they were coming off and needed to be stuck back down, took a while - arrived at a place that was an "elevator stop", nice old tree-lined street, the door didn't face the street - it was ivy-covered stone, very nice. Inside it was cave-like and open, but there was the elevator door. There was somebody there as well as 2 cats, and I made some comment about them having kittens (like it would be a good idea) and the guy said they were both males or something and I felt the same sort of cuteness about the exchange you usually do talking about kitties. I think I got on the elevator, and when I got to the next place I was talking to Margaret Laurence, who was enthusiastic about my intentions to do something or other, and the conversation was interrupted by Pam , who came to say the same sort of thing - they talked together for a minute before I stopped them, then they took turns.
1FSA, 1MSA, 2ANI, 1FKA, 1FKA
CO 1FKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
23
1985-1997
1/20/86
F
A
Visiting some rich people - there's a fire in their oil field, very near the house - people trying not to panic - hadn't caused any building damage yet and we're trying to salvage things from the house, china in cabinets and so forth. I'm aware of a difference between us, that my visit is okay and they're glad I'm helping, but after the emergency I'm not necessarily going to be a permanent fixture.
2JSA
HA 2JSA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
24
1985-1997
1/21/86
F
A
Bonnie came to see if I needed anything and just poked around before going to work - later I went to Bluebonnet and was looking at things like a perfume ("White Oak"?) that I couldn't smell and other such things when I realized I just came straight on without a shower or anything and I must look awful. I went round to the back and got out my little mirror - decided I'd manage. While I was deciding, I'd got on a bus in the parking lot, and was halfway down the drive before I realized I'd better get off, my car was here at the store. Somewhere I run into Dad and My stepmother, who I carried on a casual conversation with and we went on to walk home together. (I wasn't living with them, but it was on the way.) There wasn't much conversation, and My stepmother walked on ahead. I fell into a daydream about a quiz show kind of like the one I'd seen yesterday, "Chance of a Lifetime" - only it was more like something I'd seen in England and it was the sort where you had to decide if you were coming back the next day to win more. I daydreamed it was me playing and planning to go for it all when I came awake and saw that My stepmother was nowhere in sight. Dad wasn't concerned, he said she'd probably gone by to see about "the boys" - who I took to mean my brother and male cousin, living together as roommates. We cut through somebody's yard and across the corner of a yard and a porch. I knew we were in Oak town and recognized the kind of little semi-shabby house, but kind of envied it and the little apartment house we passed - one window had something hanging in it that I noticed. Wherever the place was, they weren't home, and we went on (I was aware of it being a very long walk) past where Grandmom used to live [which is not in Oak town]. We stopped - for a rest? - next to the house, just where you couldn't see it, facing the railroad track. Dad leaned against (a car?) and talked a little, as if to himself, about how he wished things were different - with him and My stepmother, with the family - and he looked sad and dejected. I started to tell him he could have it different, maybe for both of them, maybe just for him, and almost got to tell him about LT when I woke up - I'd said I was going to a psychotherapist and that was good, but what really made the difference was...
1FKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1MKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
25
1985-1997
1/22/86
F
A
I'm going down a walkway between little, close-set houses looking for something and pretending I'm in a detective story, sneaking around and prepared for anything - I jump at a sound and dive into a convenient garage, flipping over and springing into position behind something for cover. Ironically, the door starts to close - slides sideways. The person doing it peeks in for a second. I recognize him (somebody from TV). I jump up to let him know I'm there and make excuse that I just stepped in to wipe dust off me or something. He lets me out and I sheepishly go on. At the end of the street there's sort of a shopping center with a Sanger's and I remember the bra sale. I run into Bill Wilding, who's waiting for me and asks me to take something with me to hand over to somebody I'm going to see. It's a bunch of what looks like hairpins, only not black. We drop some when he's handing them to me and I stoop to help pick them up. I'm a bit annoyed that he expects me to do this. We are next to another person but I don't know who. I continue to a house or apartment where there are some people waiting for me, we're preparing for something and there's a task to be performed right now. My mother is there, I think, or somebody I feel that way about - maybe 3 couples and an extra man, who's friendly and pats me on the butt, which I hate and almost yell at him but not quite and I say to myself next time I will. I think the others know and they think he's a creep too. When I realize what we've got to do I'm very disappointed because I was expecting to get dinner - I haven't had much to eat all day - my mind flashes back to one of my male cousins skimpy breakfasts*, and I haven't had anything to speak of since. I am really let down and whiny. [Dream ends there, I think - but I also think it didn't begin there, there was more before.]
1MKA, 1MKA, 1ISA, 2JSA, 1MKA
AN D, SD D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
26
1985-1997
1/23/86
F
A
I'm trying to find the original plans or instructions to something and having no luck. There's a large "file"-thing with shelves that rotate individually along the lines of the one at work but on a horizontal axis instead of vertical. I'm turning each shelf carefully because they all have different things on them but mostly (Mexican?) painted figures on them, even group displays, very nice things too. But no file. Somebody speaks to me, I think (she?) is saying it won't be there, (she's?) going to look elsewhere. I go a few yards away to something or other that's got some things in it I can look through - it makes me think of a bin. I sort of halfheartedly poke at them, then I get a half-formed picture of what I'm looking for, and a new approach - I may have missed it and will go back to look (in the file?). This is all outside, in a kind of courtyard, and there are people around.
1FSA, 2JSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
27
1985-1997
1/26/86
F
A
I was walking home with some little glass figures - some maybe little-fingernail size, others no more than twice that - I had some other things to carry and they were sort of loose on top of what I was carrying up against me, but I wasn't expecting that to stay secure, so as I walked I was transferring the bigger ones to my pocket, the smaller ones (where? coin purse?). Also apprehensive that they'd get broken from being jostled. When I get home I come into a perhaps duplex - it sort of tends to be the left side, or at least the front door is on the far left - anyway, it's a small living room furnished sort of college-student. I take the figures out and look for a place to put them, but just decide to put them with the others, on a very high shelf above the door - some are Christmas things, and I'm figuring you won't be seeing them all the time anyway, that's as good a way to store them as any. One of them, as I take it out and put it on the floor, is broken after all, but I'm not upset, I can glue it - I don't recognize what it's meant to be, it's a sort of wreath base with little wineglass-shapes that stand up on it. It's one of the wineglasses that's broken, but except for a sliver it'll go back together. I'm looking for the sliver (I think I've taken my skirt off by now - got a slip on) when my roommate comes in - she's young, blonde, short hair, pretty, sort of a popular-girl type - we're pretty good friends but not constant companions. We talk, but it's mostly chat and she's starting to take things off, too, when somebody else comes, at least 2, one male, who's maybe her brother or our brotherly other roommate. It's a little disconcerting to be sitting around not entirely clothed but at least we're decent, and they don't stay in that room.
1FKA, 1MSA
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
28
1985-1997
1/26/86
F
A
Lynn and Jane and I are at a LT function and they have something going on that they're upset about. Won't tell me what it is yet, but we're on our way back from the Training Room to (?) the Team Room, they're both gripy and stuck-acting. Testy. We're in a place that's bound to be a shopping mall, open space with bright lights, walkways, stairs or escalators. We get where we're going and there's other people there, one of whom is an officious little guy who is pissed off because (either Lynn or I) someone is wearing a pin or i.d. button that doesn't belong, it's much fancier than the others - I noticed it before but didn't see anything wrong with it - he takes it away and I'm wondering how it's going to get replaced with the right one. Some of the next little bit - don't know what it is, or who's talking - takes place by a small group of other people who are already in the "Team Room", and I don't know them but one turns out to be that guy from "After Hours" - Griffin Dunne, and I don't want to continue in front of him, so I move toward the "door" a bit so I'll be out of his line of vision.
1FKA, 1FKA, 2JSA, 1MSA, 2JSA
AN 1FKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
29
1985-1997
1/26/86
F
A
I have come from somewhere else to a house where some others taking a mastery class live, we're getting ready to go together. There's at least a brother and sister, maybe more. I move, with somebody else, to a sun/sitting room where the sister is - these people are recent grads and are expressing their apprehension of "having" to process all the time in the future so hard, it won't be any fun. I make a little speechie about how after you get used to it and good at it you don't work so hard and - although Roy doesn't think in these terms - gee whiz, you can go whole days without processing anything. And that eventually your mind gets trained not to react in the old way, so it's not as though it's a constant uphill struggle.
2JSA, 1MSA, 1ISA, 1MKA
AP 2JKA+D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
30
1985-1997
1/27/86
F
A
Lifegame Roomset - small, high room - sort of an old school classroom, I think - pulling paper off a large board, taped to the sides - trying to do it neatly. The usual speech about setting it so they can get it. Soft carpet. Do we have something to put on the floor (like newspaper)? Outside room - a place where a lot of us are milling around, tables and benches, eating lunch. Is part of it outside or not? There's a kind of little terrace or platform - 3 or 4 steps up, then toilets to the left, maybe 4 or 5, and very busy. I need to go to the bathroom, and finally try to get up to one. Get beat out by a short-haired blonde girl. I guess I do get in shortly, and while I'm around here somebody is peeing and Sheryl J. is trying to read something out to a small group in front and has to ask for us to hold it a minute.
1FSA, 2JSA, 1FKA, 2ISA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
31
1985-1997
1/31/86
F
A
They've been giving me parties at work because I'm going to work at PF temporarily - reason they need me is a new branch is being built and they're expanding - it looks like being permanent though, and I'm thinking I may as well not go back downtown at all - they may not want to give me more parties - PF has another problem - the construction people have struck oil - it's gushed once already and it's right next to where the building will be, so something major has to be revised before they can build. I'm talking to Belle and we go look at the oil eruption - looks like it broke up through the ground like a pimple or little volcano - I don't wanna get too close in case it spits up again, don't want it to land on me.
2IOA, 1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
32
1985-1997
2/5/86
F
A
Cats - moving from one place to another - two of them, somewhat awkward - not clear - at one point I go back to my family house and see my cat there? I'm feeling relieved that he/she is still there. While there I'm trying to use a device on the end of a hose, dirty, like car-repair tools are - you're supposed to press a little nub and (compressed air?) comes out. It's not working, and I go to a garage (or ?) and while the person I'm with talks to the mechanic I try out the one at the garage and it works so well I nearly fall over. Then I try mine again and it definitely doesn't work right. Sometime I go to a friend's house - I'm carrying something - she takes me to meet her parents - her father says he knows who I am and doesn't want me in his house - I think he says he doesn't want me around his daughter but he can't actually forbid her and I think she says so. He's not hot about it but very firm. My friend walks me outside and I've got an impression now of Kathie H. and/or Bobbie. Sort of hanging on me, and I'd rather get on my way.
1ANI, 1IKA, 1MOA, 2JKA, 1FKA, 2FKA
HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
33
1985-1997
2/6/86
F
A
John Leveranz is around and is he trying on my clothes or what? I think so - I'm talking to him - don't know where we are but we're inside a building more like an office or school than anything else and something's between us and some other people - he's also looking at a bill that he's supposed to pay, it has my name on it and he remarks "you're still married, aren't you?", which is startling, until I realize that, yes, I am, I just don't like to think about it - I'm going back to the other people and he finishes (picking out clothes?) and when he's all dressed I'm secretly pleased that he should think I dress well because I have the silk shirt, etc. I'm wearing purple, something pretty hip but can't describe now. Later, LT people are cleaning up a house, being impeccable, natch - I'm doing something in the kitchen that involves a little figure of a mouse or rabbit like a Beatrix Potter. It's edible, in horizontal slices, and I want to leave it for Sue S. but as I eat the least crucial parts it gets shorter of course until I think it's no longer ok. There's a bit of yard up front of this place which doesn't seem to have a front wall and it's not grass, but rather loose dirt. I pick up a handful and look at it - it has bits in it, pieces of pecan, maybe other identifiable not-dirt. Wonder how it got there. I go back and sit at a table with somebody and Ann Morrison arrives. She's colored her hair dark and changed her makeup completely, new hairstyle, too - and looks great but nothing like usual. I'm impressed. She says something about it but I don't remember what - I'm thinking marriage has certainly been good for her.
1MKA, 2ISA, 1FKA, 1ANI, 1FKA
HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
34
1985-1997
2/8/86
F
A
I blow up my house - there's nitro in a suitcase I have to be careful with and I do something wrong - I know it and have just enough time to get out. I manage to scream for Lick and don't see him but I think I see him shortly after - then I feel a little relieved, though not happy, that I got out alive and at least I didn't lose anybody, till I remember MB and Tree - then I'm (stunned? horrified?)
1MKA, 2JKA
HA D, CO D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
35
1985-1997
2/8/86
F
A
I've done something someone doesn't like but I've already gotten permission for it and when she leaves (we met on the steps of a building like a courthouse) I run into my (real supervisor?) and show her how I've verified this and she's satisfied - she approves of me and I'm confident and satisfied.
1FSA, 1FKA
HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
36
1985-1997
2/11/86
F
A
I'm in a place in a downtown area, but not our downtown. (I have a feeling of it, how the town is smallish but not so small as to be rural.) The place doesn't seem like anything specific, not an office, but definitely not a residence of any kind - call it a waiting room. I have a sense of it being open to the street, but I don't see a lot of bright sunlight, or activity. Maybe it's just that the door's open, or there's windows. It's not big, or entirely empty, and I think the walls are red brick. There seems like benches are built along the walls. I'm sitting on one. I think there's something in the middle of the room. Don't know what. The street outside is a 2nd-string main street, busy but not the main drag. The buildings are close to the sidewalk and very ordinary brick faces. I arrived here by bus, standard city bus, and I'm not sure what my business is here. There are maybe 3 people in the place with me. At least one of them is a disc jockey, and one of them isn't. The one that isn't is kind of like Mike Rhyner, in that he's a buddy of these other guys and works with them but something he does is support for them (like research?) and he doesn't perform on the air, except maybe in his other capacity and not for entertainment. He and I are talking. Whatever we're talking about, we're getting along well and interested in what we're saying. The disc jockey isn't as involved but isn't hostile or unwilling for us to be talking. I get the impression, however, that I'm not "in" with him. I've left and gone (home?) and I'm not sure what the place is. (The previous place reminds me of a garage, and I'm not positive this place isn't similar.) Someone else is here, don't know who, and he definitely doesn't want me talking to the guy I was with. He doesn't approve of me interfering with him getting his job done. I know I wasn't. Don't think I say anything.
2JSA, 1MOA, 1ISA, 1ISA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
37
1985-1997
2/13/86
F
A
I'm in a small house with my family - at least my brother and Mom, don't remember Dad -my brother's mad - it has something to do with jealousy - he says I did or got something I wasn't supposed to. He's not correct but I don't want him attacking me so I don't say anything but I start to pack up and leave - I don't have much, I think this is like a rented vacation house and I came here last. Mom says no, I don't have to leave and I stop, but Marcy gets madder and he leaves. He's so mad we look out the window after him to be sure he isn't going to sneak back and jump us, through the roof or the back door. Next I think a blond young man comes to the house but if so I don't know what he does.
2JKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1MKA, 1MSA
AN 1MKA, AN 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
38
1985-1997
2/13/86?
F
A
Mom and I are in a restaurant - it's got sort of a garden decor, all greens and yellows and white. The table is loaded with dishes and I've finished eating, so the idea is to get the tray of dishes off the table (my side anyway). To do this I balance it on my forehead and try to lower to the floor. Doesn't work. I can only get so far before I know if I move anymore it'll slide off, break the dishes and probably slice my forehead. Mom calls for the waiters and maybe maitre d' to get it off me. Afterward we get dessert - I wasn't going to have any but she ordered it as a treat. What I could see (it was on top of a pile of something) was white - I tried that and it turned out to be whipped cream on top of something to do with strawberries. While there, I'm looking at a long color brochure of things from the Container Store or - no, Crate and Barrel. Lots of red and blue stuff - brochure folds out, and this restaurant may be inside the store. One or both of these places may be located in Inwood Village - more or less at the Penney's location.
1FKA, 2IOA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
39
1985-1997
2/14/86
F
A
Somewhere I'm getting rated according to something odd, and I come out well - there's a gap in the grades that I'm aware of for some reason - like it's easy for people to fall in between and thereby slide up. I seem to be with Karen.
1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
40
1985-1997
2/14/86
F
A
I'm with a group of women at a place we're staying maybe like a retreat for vacation. Somebody has stolen something, I think, and very slim evidence points to Jean Yocum (or somebody, at least an older woman), and I think somebody else. There's a scene in which the group accuses her/them and says she/they have to go. I'm rather put out at this because there's been no attempt made to prove their guilt, not even to give them a chance to say if they did it. At some point I've gone someplace or been distracted but I have plenty of opportunity to speak up about it. I keep "rehearsing" what I'll say the way I do in real life, and never get to that point before the dream ends. After the accusation scene breaks up, I go into the bathroom to gather my stuff, and either something spills or there's a puddle on the floor for some reason, and I gather things up. I'm sort of packing things up to go myself.
2FSA, 1FKA, 1ISA
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
41
1985-1997
2/14/86
F
A
Takes place on an artificial planet - it's smaller than the world but of course you can't see that. It has a roof, but it's so high that the place can have weather and so forth. I'm with Erv, who wants me to see something - we're "outside" now and going to where he lives - there is a sense of something coming to an end - not the "planet", or me, but I think now it must be him (caused by him being about to retire?). As we're going along I'm looking up at the sky, which has a funny color, but there are trees, that move with the wind, and birds. As I look there's a great group of birds flying across the sky, as a flock of birds will mass in flight, but it's all different sorts of birds! You can see from their sizes and silhouettes that there's every kind of bird in that group. It's amazing, that here on this place they will all do things together - just because it's different. Erv and I look for a bit and marvel, then he says let's go and as we go it starts to rain. I've been here a while and I'm conscious of how amazing it is that it can rain inside this artificial world. I start laughing/crying in delight. We get where we're going, which is a kind of apartment that Erv shares with a bunch of other people. He motions me into his room and goes to get whatever it is he wants me to see and I never find out what it is. There are other people in the apartment, and they're together talking, and this is typical for here.
1MKA, 2ANI
CO D, HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
42
1985-1997
2/14/86
F
A
I'm with my mother and somebody else, talking about the Training and how it costs so much money and how it could be raised - my mom says something that fits in and says "yes, I want to take it too, but..." ("I don't know how I can get the money", whatever). I'm surprised.
1FKA, 1ISA
CO D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
43
1985-1997
2/15/86
F
A
I'm with a group of LT people, at least mainly women - not sure if it's a hotel or not but we have baggage and one of us I don't recognize is looking for sheets (or something) to buy if anybody has some. She leaves to ask somebody outside the room where I am. Someone else opens a suitcase to check what she's got and leafs through it. As she does I see a yellow blanket that looks like it may be wool and since there's an indication that she may be up for selling this stuff, I check. It is wool, and I ask if she wants to sell this. It turns out to be Sharon Clements. She says maybe, and I ask how much. I also check the label again to be sure it's a double. (I've also been thinking it's a shame it's yellow, I'm not that fond of it, but it'll go with my bedroom well enough.) When I ask, she clouds up a little and doesn't answer. After a bit, she says it's not me, it was just when I asked her and she really thought about selling it, a wave of (sorrow? - it's not my feeling) came over her, and she'd like to go clear. There's somebody here acting as Team Support (though a Training isn't going on right now) and we go across the room where she is. [The place seems more like it's old or unfinished - at first it could've been backstage, now this room reminds me of the lake house we stayed in] This girl is sitting on the bed, with her back to us - she's blond, and Sharon says her name but I don't remember and she doesn't look familiar. She's friendly and is going to work with us, when the scene changes to a bus. We've just got on and are choosing seats. Sharon sits right behind the driver and I sit a bit down so the other girl can sit in between but before she does we see a couple, married, we know them a bit or somehow know of them, and we speak to them first - they're also here to be on the team. We all sit except the man, who starts pontificating by way of taking over this clearing. He is making sense but it isn't his business, and the other girl breaks into his speech, joining in with the words, which disturbs him, and she eventually subdues him, I think - she also turns to me and says adamantly not to interfere (I can't remember the words) and I say I would never dream of it - or it hadn't entered my mind. The wife reappears and says some hostile things about her husband - says he has officially (but that wasn't the word) forbidden her from using "Mrs" before her name, even though they are legally married - "he seems to forget that we..." is what she says. This is after she says her name by way of introduction.
2FSA, 1FSA, 1FSA, 1FSA, 1MKA
SD D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
44
1985-1997
2/15/86
F
A
I work in a place with a lot of money (a bank?) and it's being robbed - this place is like a lot of buildings, nicely kept up on the bottom, less finished and junky at the top - a couple of other people and I are trying to do something outside without locking ourselves out - seems to be difficult. Involves short flights of stairs and heavy doors that won't stay open. I'm with a female (black?) and a male. Back inside, somehow I get an opportunity to thwart the thieves - I get hold of at least some major part of the money and run with it. Somebody I know is with the robbers, maybe helping them voluntarily, I'm not sure - but I figure he can tell where I'll go so I have to outwit him. I run down a hall and pass where I would go, down to a room with a lot of painter's and plastering stuff in it. I stash the money under a pile of cloths on the floor, next to a cabinet or something which is just inside left of the door. Back outside and down to the other door where I hope they'll see me just going in - then I think no, I may as well hide if I have a chance. I go further in (it's open and leads into other rooms as if, in a house, you've got living rooms that lead into dining rooms but big open passages rather than doorways? - best I can do - hold the image) and there are 2 people, Cynthia and another woman, who must also be blind because she doesn't react to me. Neither does, they must not hear me either and they're both motionless. I don't look for any good place to hide because the robbers are coming in - I duck as close to this inner wall as I can, hoping they won't come this way - but my right arm sticks out sideways at an angle and I can't get it down. If I move it fast they'll see me move it and I can't seem to inch it gradually. (I think Cynthia leaves in here somewhere.) So one of the men sees me and comes over, but he's not the one to interrogate me, he's an underling, so he's just going to let them know I'm here. He says "Stand here" and turns back to the others, moving away from me. I look around, see another room and duck into it quietly. It's green and a lot like the junky old office in the basement of the old building - no one's redecorated here in a hundred years. At first I think it's a lost cause but by George it's got a door on the other side. I thought it might lead to the hall but it doesn't - I don't know where it leads but one way or another I get into an office, where there are rows of people (like there used to be) with adding machines and typewriters - men and women - and I know I'm n home free. What I want is to get to the police on the ground floor, but I'm afraid of getting caught before I reach them. I keep running. When I wake up I'm still worried I'm not going to make it - sense of desperation.
2ISA, 1MSA, 1FKA, 1FSA, 1FSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
45
1985-1997
2/15/86
F
A
Not much left - I'm with (my brother) in a car, him driving, that stops going for unknown reason - I get out and encounter puppies - they're sort of spilling out of a storm drain, very small, very "duh"-looking. I think they're kind of cute but say they shouldn't be out like that, they'll get hurt, and put them back. Then Momma starts to growl a bit of warning, she hadn't been visible before, but now she comes forward as if she's been crouching at the back of the drain (as if it were a litter cave). I say hi to her and go on. Where I am is rather like a cul-de-sac or circle. We've come from a street, and behind some building, maybe apartments, the road runs by the back and turns round into a fair-sized short underpass, which is where the puppies are. I'm aiming to continue that way.
1MKA, 2ANI, 1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
46
1985-1997
2/15/86
F
A
LT again - the scene is something like the balcony at work. I've finished with a hair dryer that I'm trying to wrap up again and after a couple of times do it and it wads up a bit but it's ok and I leave it. Somewhere in here I've been singing, rather like those fantasies I have where I start a song as an example for the group of how I can sing and they let me go on - it's something more like a story this time, though, and I made up the words and it was great though I haven't the foggiest notion what it was. I think this is where I hug a guy who looks a bit like Joe A.
1MKA, 1MSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
47
1985-1997
2/15/86
F
A
A LT is starting ( or Prep Night) in a room that looks like an old-time school - wood everywhere and we even seem to be dressed for the setting. It's all disorganized, people aren't in their places on time and part of the reason is that some other sort of class is going on next door that overlaps and the ones in the LT have to be let go from it, so they trickle in after we've started.
2JSA, 2JSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
48
1985-1997
2/20/86
F
A
I'm in a car with Dan, William Shatner, and somebody else - Shatner's driving. We're all talking and there's a car coming the other way rather badly, and I turn around to watch it. Sure enough, it hits another car head-on and I watch carefully because it's the first wreck I've ever actually seen in person. I remark this to the others, but when I turn around again there's nothing to see, both cars still drive and they're going round a corner to deal with the insurance, etc. Meanwhile there's a parked car in our lane and I remind Shatner of it, I don't think he's paying attention. He says it's ok. We get where we're going, but I don't know if it's a house or what. Later I'm at a party. Seems to be a costume party, and I've got on something rather elegant. I'm milling around looking for somebody to talk to, and I know a lot of these people but I don't feel comfortable and mostly I just greet them and let them go on and look for somebody who I'm sure wants to be with me. Eventually I go up some stairs, wide and curving - this is a posh place - and come into a long wide hallway or lobby rather like the ones in hotels outside the ballrooms, with couches and coffee tables. Some other people are there. One of them (but not noticeably Bonnie) knows I've been having trouble with my neck; I think she thinks it's my back. She wants me to try to bend backwards the way we did the other night for a stretch, and I don't want to really try it. Partly it's because I don't want to appear weak, partly because I don't want to find I can do it and be seen to be all right after all - which is partly because I'll be thought of as faking it. Dan and Lynn and Jane and Ken appear and I think, they will help me out here - maybe I can join them now and get away from these people's attention - they know I s____ (I can't describe what I think except that I think of their presence as rescue from the situation.) Later I step (duck?) into a bathroom that's fortuitously unoccupied (this place has been busy) and poke around some. The light's very dim, I don't look for a switch. It's longer than usual, quite fancy, shower stall, and something's interesting that's left of the door. Don't know what it is that I'm wanting to see closer, but I step in and find the floor all squishy. It's been leaking again, bad. This (thing - closet? shower stall? other mechanism?) has been repaired, big-time, and I think it's looking pretty shabby - I'm thinking of Mary Tod, this is her place, and classy people like her aren't supposed to have leaky bathrooms. I wonder if I should back out in case it wants to fall on my head, but I want a closer look at something inside and step in.
1MKA, 1MKA, 1ISA, 2JKA, 1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
49
1985-1997
2/22/86
F
A
I'm at a small rather shabby wood-frame house with a porch. The second room on the porch is mine. I'm with other people and there are guests or somebody like visitors anyway. There's some organized affair going on, don't know what. Some of these visitors are in the first room (my brother's?) and they decide to go through the connecting door to my room to (confer?) and I don't want them to. I firmly explain that they're to stay in this room. My brother has a confrontation with a mysterious stranger - blonde man - My brother prevails (though it wasn't a fight) and he (or we?) have to figure out what to do with him
2JSA, 1MKA, 1MSA, 1MSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
50
1985-1997
2/23/86
F
A
A woman with at least a couple of kids lives in a Dickensian sort of tenement and gets thrown out because she can't pay the rent. It's tough but not the first time or the worst thing that could happen. We go along to another place where the landlord is more generous and frankly this place is nicer and in better condition than the last anyway. It looks rustic - landlord leads us round to our entrance and inside, where there's an intricate stair arrangement - I think of England, where there can be found these very shallow steps that turn and twist but there's even more here - you don't actually need to take them, you can leap several. We go up that way, rather than following the line back and forth. Also I'm on a bus going to a shopping center. Lots of people on, and I'm sitting all the way in the back. I get a phone call. I'm not surprised that there's a phone, but I think it's rather a disturbance and didn't expect them to actually have me take the call here. It's a girl who also works for the City and I don't really understand what she wants but she obviously thinks I'm in the office and is a little bit annoyed to find that I'm not. Also perplexed - we don't know each other and there's some doubt that she's even got the right number. The bus arrives at the shopping center and there's an Army-recruit thing going on in the parking lot. Turns out there's a lot of new recruits on this bus and they're meant to get off and join their group, so we have to wait a bit while that gets organized. I get off - speak to somebody but don't remember what about except that there's a question whether I'm one of them.
1FSA, 2JSA, 1MOA, 2JOA, 1ISA
AN 1FKA, CO D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
51
1985-1997
2/25/86
F
A
I'm in the front of a bus with a friend, we have an errand or purpose together wherever we're going - there's another girl near us, sitting down (we're standing) and she's at odds with us in some way - perhaps we're suspicious of her, as though she were prying into our business. It's either night or late afternoon, and we're all dressed as if for work, and I believe we have coats on, maybe even hats and gloves. I'm sure we're all three "girls".
1IKA, 1FSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
52
1985-1997
2/25/86
F
A
I am a superhero with a costume, cape, and everything, except I'm not terrific at it - the costume is light-colored and not flashy - I don't fly but I do swing from a rope. I'm with someone - not rescuing him but we're about some business, and I'm swinging us from one spot to a rooftop - not high but quite slanted. Red tile. Another man is there already, he had a task of his own and we're joining him - we sort of all crash together and it's an awkward picture of us all trying to get our footing on the roof at one time. I don't know why I know it's me, since the caped crusader is a man, but I'm pretty sure. Scenery's nice - old-world village, sort of.
1MSA, 1MSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
53
1985-1997
2/26/86
F
A
A LT event of some sort, in a small school auditorium - this one is not old, it's pretty much like the ones I went to (say 5th grade). John Boats is talking and I get called away shortly after it starts - I was sitting down front - and don't get back until it's almost over. He's doing Hot Potato, and I'm getting really pissed off because I missed everything. I'm struggling not to blame somebody else. Leaving, we're not going home, though, just to lunch, and I guess we're coming back - we're walking down the hall talking about what to do for lunch.
1MKA, 1ISA
AN D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
54
1985-1997
2/26/86
F
A
I'm on a residential street - I've come from the next street over, through the houses, and I'm looking for an address. These are not family homes but sort of semi-apartments, maybe duplexes or four-plexes, upscale, newish. I go a house or two down the street and look at one, then enter up a few steps to an entry of sorts - seems like different apartments open off the landing. There are people about, but no one to take any notice of me, they're sort of talking amongst themselves like a Sunday afternoon barbecue or something. I'm not trying to hide but I'm not anxious for anyone to take any notice of me, either. I look to my left on the landing; someone (male, dark shirt and casual trousers) is just going in a door, where there seems to be a bit of traffic. I duck back out of any line of sight, being cautious (my familiar way) of being seen. I do, however, have business here.
2JSA, 1MSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
55
1985-1997
2/27/86
F
A
I'm at Mom's house - bedroom. I've put stuff on her bed and there's already a large pile of her laundry on it - room is mostly green - Mom and Marcy are at work. I'm doing something in another room, it's a sunny room, living room or den. (Don't remember what I'm doing.) Suddenly I have to leave, or at least it's time to get my stuff picked up before M and M come home. I go back in the bedroom and start to grab stuff but I get hold of her laundry and mess it up. Very frustrating. They come home before I get finished anyway. There's no trouble, actually. We say something to each other but I don't know what.
1FKA, 1FKA
AN D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
56
1985-1997
2/26/86
F
A
I'm on a bus, sitting forward, with my shawl on, reading a book. The aisle's getting crowded, and a woman passes by me wearing the same shawl. I say, "How nice, where did you get yours?" - I think she doesn't say, but somehow she indicates it was expensive and I think that's kind of neat, I didn't know that. I mention I got mine at a garage sale, she says nice going. The bus makes a big jolt, maybe the driver slammed on the brakes. A little kid falls down and hurts herself, everybody goes "awww" and the driver decides to take her along to the hospital. We're on the edge of downtown now and a detour to the hospital wouldn't be much. Seems to me somebody will object, though. There is now a companion with me who-may-be-Lori-but-isn't-quite, and 3 (4?) other girls who are noticeable, and they move where I can see them (into the space so they can move, I expect) and start doing a "No". L and I are surprised and pleased and say to one of them who's not proceeding, "Do you want support?" She nods, I guess, and we start "No"-ing with her - doesn't last long. This girl, when she first came up, turned her back on everybody. The others didn't. I thought that interesting. I also think there's something different, off-putting, about the others. L and I talk to this one and she's a little reticent. We're not on the bus anymore, but inside a building. Maybe a waiting station of some sort - it's large and has standard glass doors in the corners, and it's located out there in Baylor territory. It's night now - the bus ride was late afternoon, after work. I've got the idea this girl has done est and want to tell her about LT, but it turns out she did do LT and isn't working comfortably with it. She doesn't come to things because of money. L and I talk to her about that - we're anxious to get to know her because we admire a person who'll do a "No" in public. We go outside of this building during the conversation, and when I get to the door I see the city skyline, all lit up like the Whatsit building. I see one building crack sideways and fall down. How neat. I call the others' attention to it, and as we watch, the whole cityscape breaks up and juggles itself around before completely falling down. It's like a chaotic dance. Wonderful. This girl is reticent about coming out to play but we encourage her.
1FSA, 1ISC, 1FKA, 2FSA, 1FSA, 1FSA
CO 1FKA+D, HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
57
1985-1997
2/27/86
F
A
I'm moving in with a family - part of my original family already lives here, presumably I've got other, younger brothers and sisters. They've been taken in out of necessity. I've still got options to moving in here but not attractive ones - except they're getting more attractive. The head of this family is a hail-fellow type who's really concerned about me and a TV set - seems to think I'll really be pleased that, coming here, I'll have my own color TV - but not a big one, or a fancy one, he wants to warn me about that. I remark that I did have one, it's not even color, but it's not as if I've been deprived you know.
2JKA, 1MKA
AP 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
58
1985-1997
3/2/86
F
A
Woke up frightened. I come to my front door, find it open - don't think anything of it at first, then not sure, so I turn away and an arm grabs me from the opposite side. I croak "Help" as loud as I can but it's not very loud and though I know there's people to hear me I'll have to shout. I try to breathe and call out but I can't. I know I've got to do it soon but nothing comes out.
1ISA
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
59
1985-1997
3/2/86
F
A
Having a meeting or class at my apartment - Brad Brown is here. (Not this apartment.) Very informal. As we get ready to break up everybody talks about who's going with whom. The young man I came with seems to be dubious about us going together but says ok, and I talk to some other people on the "porch" outside (all concrete or stone, including steps and side wall, no rail). Then I realize that since he drove me here why would I go with him? So I tell him it's ok, go on without me.
1MKA, 2JSA, 1MSA, 2JSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
60
1985-1997
3/2/86
F
A
I'm sitting next to a girl and a young blonde guy, looking hip (like the guy at the play but prettier) - we're gossiping and she says look who we've got gracing our party (is that what this is?) - she means this guy and points. I don't recognize him and she ID's him as an actor who's well known from one of the nighttime soaps, only there he looks rather preppy-ish. He's sullen, reminds me of Michael J. Pollard. I'm popping my little finger by pulling it out - whenever I do that the last joint comes off but there's another next time. I'm very amused by all this.
1FSA, 1MSA, 1MPA
SD 1MKA, HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
61
1985-1997
3/3/86
F
A
A conspiracy - really insidious - purpose unknown. I'm with (my brother?) in a tiny house and there's been someone else here. There are some really strange guys been looking for that other person (a young boy) and my brother doesn't know what they want but I'm afraid I do. They won't necessarily hurt anybody but you can't be sure and I've gotten very paranoid. I tell my brother and we start talking about plans to get away and I even think about starting over somewhere with different hair and clothes, etc., it's depressing. While we're talking I'm breaking a couple eggs on the counter and scraping them into a dish or something - we're trying to look busy.
1MKA, 1MSA, 1MSA
AP D, SD D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
62
1985-1997
3/5/86
F
A
I come into a restaurant with my "family" - there's not many people here - it's small and cozy - we've been here before - I have a small bag with me, I think it's awkward to be bringing it in here, especially since I've also got another small suitcase that's old-looking, with a stripe and a makeshift handle on the end rather than in the middle. We sit at a small table and start a conversation with the waiter. There's some disagreement here but not major - I'm the one going somewhere to stay, like, say, I was going to gramma's for the summer - so I feel odd man out. The waiter brings wine - for some reason it's an incredibly expensive bottle (like on the TV show I saw last night) and it wasn't exactly bought - maybe a gift - maybe this is an anniversary dinner for "Mom" and "Dad". I remark on the new arrangement of the tables - different sizes, even, from the last time we were here - now all little round ones scattered around. They think I'm wrong but I know where we sat last time. There's an interval and "Dad" and "little brother" go somewhere - I'm talking to "Mom", who's sitting on a couch - I decide this is a moment that calls for the wine, so I pour 2 glasses - one for her, one for him - I don't want any. I take it to her, saying I thought this was the moment for an incredibly, (something, something) - even embarrassingly - expensive - glass of wine. She's surprised at first, very dubious as to whether to drink it, it's so expensive. I'm thinking, what are you going to do with it?
2JKA, 1MOA, 1FKA, 1MKA
CO D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
63
1985-1997
3/8/86
F
A
I've gone off in a car with my grandparents and a great-aunt for a Thanksgiving drive somewhere. The direction seems to be north, as though I still live in San Paulo. We're going to stop somewhere for Thanksgiving dinner. On the way we stop at a roadside "garage sale" where there's a lot of old furniture and things - it's actually Lurline's, she's finally decided to get rid of a lot of stuff she doesn't need - there are pieces I don't recognize - also an old doll or baby crib, very small - I suggest buying it to someone (Dan?) who's also there at the moment, because maybe someone you know will have a baby and it would make a nice present. There are also nice lace/linen collars and kitchen things - a white enamel affair on legs that's narrow and meant to fit in small places and the top sort of folds up - I thought at first it was for storage but now I don't know - "Dan" is quite thrilled with it, says his family used to have one. I'm looking at the price tags - they're small, oval white stick-ons, written by hand as you see often on antiques. Either the scene changes or we get back in the car and go to the next place, which is parked in front of Dad and my stepmothre's house in a small town. They have prospered since I last saw them, developing a large new family with grown kids, brothers and sisters, wealth, fame, power - big house, nice street, neighbors. [This may be the same place as Lurline's garage sale, just revised.] There seems to be a garage sale going on here, too - lots of people about - in fact, whole groups arrive and depart, maybe they even take tours or they're on one. Even the neighbors are all outside because, I guess, the holiday is a celebration and it's like one huge party. I'm looking at a lace collar that's on the ground on top of a paper or towel or something - it has a dark spot on it that I find is wetness, and it disappears rapidly if you get something under it to absorb, but gets wet again in another place quickly - the ground is wet. I'm by myself now, my grandparents and great-aunt have gone to look at something else, and I discover where we are - not sure how, maybe I heard somebody say, or I saw Dad or My stepmother on their way into the house, but I know and I'm horrified. I'm figuring that it would be a good idea to leave, but don't know if I can persuade the others. I look around for them and find they've started talking to these people and figure I'd better not interrupt lest it be discovered I'm here. They may not have spilled the beans. I find now I have to skulk. When I go to peek to see where the others went, I run into a young man member of the household who may want to know what I'm doing. What I do to respond involves brushing my teeth. (Maybe I asked him for the bathroom.) His room is in the right front part of the house and I continue across the house like a spy, trying not to be seen, until I come out the other side. I quickly go back around to the front and blend in with all the other people there. (The neighbors are out on their front porch.) The "garage sale" is coming to an end - crowds starting to thin out. I'm beginning to feel conspicuous, since everyone else will be gone and I'll be hanging around on the lawn. I lean behind a tree facing the street, fairly well hidden from the house, though there are people to my right, including one woman from the house who's watching everybody just sort of fondly, at the end of a nice family get-together. If she takes any notice of me she doesn't say anything. I stand there for a long, long time. I'm waiting for them to come and take me away from here and feeling abandoned. (Real familiar.) I'm sure they've forgotten I'm here. I can't go looking for them because the "family" will find out I'm here and ask me questions and talk about me and I still won't get to leave. I'm feeling devastated. As the hours go on I move from the tree to a (rocking?) chair on the porch, staring out toward the street, trying to be invisible. I realize they must have gone inside and been invited to have Thanksgiving dinner and not bothered about me. They either assume I can take care of myself or it's okay for me to sit outside and isolate myself. I'm telling myself what really happened, though, is they got in the car and drove off and don't know I'm not with them. They'll find out soon and come back for me. But it doesn't happen, and I sit there. Something strange happens to the scene I'm looking at - or I'm thinking about a movie I've seen - anyway, I see a gym with a bunch of Tom-Cruise-type boys in a movie scene that looks like one I've seen but isn't quite - then I become aware that I'm watching a trailer for the sequel. Something about a piece of equipment in this scene is of importance, has to do with me and somehow Linda. I (call her?) on the telephone - at least I've got a phone in my hand and I'm talking to her on it and we exchange the information, and she asks if I'm okay, or maybe it's can she do anything else for me? I've been thinking about how I could get home on my own now, it's been so long I don't know why I should wait here forever, and I'm getting real mopey. I ask her about that and start to tell her everything, when all of a sudden I hear people behind me coming outside - the sort of bustle you get when a group of people leave. I hear Bonnie's voice - she comes beside where she can see me and says "Oh, there you are! We've been wondering where you got off to." And asks a question that might have been, how come you disappeared like that? Or something, but she doesn't quite finish - turns her head back to the others and says, "oh, I know - I know you too well". <br />&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; I'm absolutely horrified that it should be turning out this way. I mumble something to Linda and hang up. I wait for this new ordeal to be over.
2JKA, 1FKA, 1MKA, 2JSA, 1MKA, 2JSA
HA 1FKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
64
1985-1997
3/12/86
F
A
I'm at the office - it's bigger than usual, with more people, and busier. 3 young men come in and confront a group of people I'm with - they have guns and seem to want something but I don't know what. I break away from them and go out to the middle where a lot of people can see me and vice versa, and I start yelling something for help - it doesn't get anybody's attention the first time, so I do it some more. This starts people moving - mostly they leave, but somehow in the confusion the intruders are subdued and going to be arrested. As they're being taken away I talk to one of them and I'm sympathetic - these guys are just kinda sad and pathetic, not tough or mean. He thanks me for stopping them. I have an idea that his other partners join him after a minute and say goodbye too. Not sure.
2JSA, 2MSA, 2JSA, 1MSA, 2JSA
SD 2JKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
65
1985-1997
3/12/86
F
A
There's an outdoor fair of some kind. Loretta's there and has something in a bag she wants to share since somebody else didn't or couldn't take it. We talk to somebody. I have to go somewhere for a while - it involves riding home on a bicycle and doing some errands. I'm going to return some books in the OL chute but as I go into the drive I see Muriel [Brown], wearing red pants, (and some other woman), standing in the driveway, I guess just passing through. Rather than go past her to the chute and have to speak, I cruise past at a distance and don't return the books. There is some question about doing an errand at a much greater distance, but I conclude I don't want to go all that way on a bicycle - though I can - today, since I want to get back to the fair. I also go into a restaurant. I'm not intending to stay, but somehow I do have a cup of coffee or something and am pleased about it. The waiter (this place is in the neighborhood somewhere, and the waiter, if not gay, is young and in keeping with the atmosphere) brings the check and, oddly enough, change as well. There's a stack of coins on the check - or is it 2, as an alternative? - in the amount of $1, in case you want to make your own change. I'm concerned about the bill, since (as is presently true) I only have $1 and some change on me. It crosses my mind that I could just take this money but I decide not to and go back to the fair.
1FKA, 1ISA, 1FKA, 1MOA
HA D, AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
66
1985-1997
3/13/86
F
A
Melanie is with me, looking at my crowded bedroom area - it's in a place that's not all mine - other people live here, but it's not just a house - more like the open-office arrangements. My area is stuffed full of things, and there's only 1 electrical outlet. I've just brought in a new lamp and rearranged the extension cord arrangement, which is wonky. I go somewhere for a bit, or turn my back, and Melanie rearranges it again so it's clumsy and obtrusive, so I have to put it back. She's noticing things I have since she last saw, especially 2 tennis rackets. I'd got them on sale somewhere familiar (as in close proximity, like the Library Store), and I hate to pass up a real bargain even if I have no immediate use for it.
1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
67
1985-1997
3/13/86
F
A
I have been in this place before, a flea-market sort of place with banks of booths inside a larger building, like Big D Bazaar. I'd gotten something here I liked a lot, in the way of jewellery, I think, from an older guy, a craftsman, in a middle booth. I want another one, so I've come to see if he's in, but I can see that nobody's open, all the places are empty and covered up. It's not out of business, just closed for Sunday or whatever. Still I walk all the way around in case. I see a few people in the open space (like the concession area) - one of them is the guy I'm looking for, and he's facing off another guy about his own age and type - some other men are sitting down watching. I can see they're about to have a fight. They're angry, but not enraged (yet), and the fight is structured. I think they're going to use swords, but not fancy or sharp ones, and they're not trained swordsmen. I don't want to see them do this, so I'm gonna duck out.
1MOA, 2JSA, 1MSA, 2MSA
AN 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
68
1985-1997
3/14/86
F
A
I'm at work but maybe not actually my office - doesn't look it. I'm on the phone with a branch manager who's trying to handle a book returned in some way she couldn't handle - wanted to know how to handle it and somehow it's turned around - it's Friday and she can't raise anybody for advice. She's pissed, she's gotten me by trying to locate somebody "official" who'll know what to do. I tell her I used to work at PF and OL and I know what to do more or less but I did know I could get hold of someone who could tell me for sure - thinking of Ann rather than Alma. She keeps rattling and the connection gets bad - I have to keep asking her to repeat. She's dubious about whether I know what I was talking about - if I really worked at a branch? which branch? - like that - till I had to be firm and try to get her to let me either put her on hold or call her back.
1FOA, 1FKA, 1FKA
AN 1FKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
69
1985-1997
3/14/86
F
A
I'm with a group of people together for a purpose - we're going out for lunch break and drive to a restaurant (or go in a van provided by the restaurant) that we'd been "sold" on by this Mexican woman - it's further than I imagined it would be, and when we get there it doesn't look like one. It's through a house, and the house is high off the street. Bit of a climb to get there, then we all get led into the house. A room we go through is very uneven - there are steps in it, different places. I'm lagging behind the others, and so is another woman - we have a kind of familiarity - some similar experiences that we talk about, something to do with this room.
2JSA, 1FEA, 1FSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
70
1985-1997
3/14/86
F
A
A man is being chased by another man who means to kill him - I can see it all as if it's a movie. The killer isn't mad to kill him, just determined, as if he's a hit man. The other guy is nice looking, I believe I know him, and he's clever and has been able to outwit the other guy [the killer] up to now. He's still looking for a way to duck out of sight. They are walking, outside in a downtown area, where there's crowds of people, so the bad guy can't just run after the other and shoot him down. But he's getting closer. At one point the good guy struts across an intersection to fit in with other people, and the bad guy does the same. Finally the bad guy really does catch up, and turns the other to face him. The good guy seems a little bit nervous, but you can see he's trying to look at ease and amused. Typical adventure hero. He takes the gun the bad guy's holding, not out of his hand, but with his hand and moves his whole arm around some way that resembles locking arms to drink champagne romantically. Ends up with the gun pointed at his own cheek. So it appears he's going to do the job for the hit man, in a way, but he's got a little smile on his face and I realize that what'll happen when he pulls the trigger is the gun will pull the hand around and the hit man will be shot instead. (Dream ends before that happens but my reaction is a bit of tension whether that'll work or not.)
1MSA, 1MSA, 2JSA
AP 1MSA, HA 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
71
1985-1997
3/15/86
F
A
I'm in a room in an old building, maybe a school, but it's a small place and not in a place with lots of people - in fact, this room is being used for some temporary project and if it is a school, that's not going on now. The floor is bare wood and it's darkish - all the walls and everything have been left alone a long time (but not abused). There are 4 or 5 people working on something here, maybe sorting things or packing things up. I'm lying on my bed in the corner. There's a reason why I'm not joining in but I'm not sure if it's just because there's not enough for me to do or they're almost finished or what. Someone comes to ask me that, in fact, and I feel a tiny bit guilty but I know I don't really need to be doing anything. I'm thinking of an object I haven't seen for a while, some kind of figurine or toy that I used to have around all the time and I miss it. I wonder where it is and I get up to pull the bed out from the wall to look for a box underneath. To do that I have to pull out the heater that stands next to it - old, tired, taller than usual, that gold/bronze color. I get the box and look at the things inside - there are several such articles as the one I was thinking of, that I'd had around before but put away and forgotten about. (I see them clearly and can identify them, but here where I'm writing I can't.) I'm delighted to see them again - they're old friends. I get up, put the box on the bed, and push it back. I have trouble with the heater, though - it sticks on the floor and there's a woman in the room - she's someone I work with, maybe my boss but this is all very informal - says maybe I'd better get somebody to help, that thing's pretty rickety. (The others have left by now, just we two in the room.) I say that it's just getting to move and I give it another shove. It doesn't fall over, but rather crumples from the bottom and the top comes off and another inside piece falls off. I look at it and see that it can be put back together but it'll have the dent in front where it crumpled. Poor old thing was on its last legs anyway. No great loss.
2JSA, 1ISA, 1FKA
AP D, HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
72
1985-1997
3/16/86
F
A
I'm in a big hotel with a group of people who are doing something special, the way LT is, but it's not that. Part of it involves sitting at a desk or table, a long one, like rows of people at desks or tables, keeping track of something or some kind of current paperwork. Sometimes you get up to do something else, or maybe it's a break. I get up to go with some people going to exercise, or swim. There's some activity at my place and I know I have to get back on time. When we get to the other place, it's as though it's someone else's house. The others I'm with decide not to swim but I definitely feel I need to work out, so I go to change my clothes. I find I haven't got all my stuff with me. I thought I had tights but I don't and I have to put on my leotard with the relatively loose leather pants I took off before. This is taking up time and I'm worried I won't get in enough exercise before I have to go back. Worse still, I have to pee first. I aim for where I know a pool is - the place at this point is laid out in a curve, so I follow it round - by the time I get there, it's really bad, and I'm further worried about the time I'm having to spend at this - I go around a corner and see a men's room and think, okay, there must be a ladies' nearby - but no such luck - I keep going down to where the restaurant is. I've been here before, and I'm frustrated because I know there is a ladies', but it's in the far right corner after you go into the restaurant. I wonder for a second if I should keep looking, but I go down to it anyway, and it's crowded. I figure I just can't wait anymore, and I take some toilet-paper squares (as they turned out to be) off the top of the paper-towel dispenser, go to a corner where nobody can see me for a minute, and pee. Presumably on the floor but it didn't make any noise, and I'm wearing a skirt now. I blot myself off quick and leave, crossing the restaurant to the opposite door as a shortcut to get back where I'd been.
2JSA, 1MKA, 2FSA
AP D, AN D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
73
1985-1997
3/17/86
F
A
I'm in a nice old house that's mine (but am I renting?) by myself and it has big rooms and a big yard and a garage. I've just come in and some other people have left - I go to the bedroom, which has a big window with curtains. There's a bum outside the window who comes right next to it and lays down as if to sleep there. (He knows I see him.) I'm uneasy about this. There are other such people in the back yard. I think they have business like they're helping build something maybe. I get up and (close the curtains?) go to find the phone book so I can call the landlord and tell him about this and ask what to do. But I can't find the number - he's unlisted. I know we got hold of him before, me and a friend, when I moved in, but that was through somebody else - a relative or something. I'm going to try, though. I go to the front of the house for something - to answer the door? And come back through the bedroom, noticing how big it is - the house isn't great big, but the rooms are. I go to the window and look out, checking to see if the bums are watching. I'm getting down on my stomach to peek under the curtain and see if the one guy is still lying there, and he is. I'm a little disturbed. However,somewhere I'm looking at earrings and thinking, "I'm really going to get my ears pierced, today!" And I'm thrilled about it - I feel my ears and imagine how it will hurt for a bit and then how it will feel to have earrings in, and how I can get long, dangly, neat ones. (Frankly, I think I'm in the same house, same scene, but I don't know how.)
1MSA, 2JSA, 1MKA, 1ISA, 1IKA
AP D, HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
74
1985-1997
3/21/86
F
A
I'm in a supermarket-type department store like Target with MB - I'm putting things down her throat, as if I'm teaching her sword-swallowing. One thing is a sort-of knife but I see it has a collapsible blade that recedes when I try to get it in her mouth. I also see toothpaste and toothbrushes, including one that contains toothpaste (for travelling) - you fold up a section of a plastic tab at the bottom and it squeezes toothpaste out for you. I hold onto MB - I assume she'll struggle, but she likes it, rather. I brush away at her teeth but we have somewhere to be. And I'm arriving at a hotel with several clumsy pieces of luggage - it's convoluted and odd, and there's a lot of questionable people here. A man leads me in and tells me where I'm to go. It's up several flights - I'm not thrilled having to lug this stuff. As I go up the stairs I see various people, some of whom watch. The stairs twist and turn, but not in a regular pattern with regular landings. I get to one and put my stuff down, then go along the hall a bit to see if I can see how much farther. I'm just briefly out of sight of my luggage, but there wasn't anybody in sight when I put it down. When I turn back it's gone. I dash back and down the stairs, looking round as I go, even farther than I think anybody would've gotten. People are looking at me but not with curiosity, rather more like they know what's going on and don't think it's unusual. I'm not angry or terribly upset. And I'm at the library - I think I didn't realize that at first - I'm leaving, and I'm in the lobby. (Doesn't look like ours, exactly, but the ceilings are real high.) It's just changed, matter of fact - the remodelling has started, and everything's been moved out - what I see is a crowd of stuff at a distance that looks more like it's in boxes - no detail. Lot of indirect lighting. I'm wondering where everybody's gone and how they can check out books. While I'm there, Alma's voice is heard over the loudspeaker, announcing closing and about checking out materials now - didn't pay attention to what she said.
1FKA, 2JSA, 2JSA
HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
75
1985-1997
3/29/86
F
A
I am outside, in the midst of a few small frame houses that may be out in the country, but not far out - certainly they're not in town. It's very "family" out here, everybody's close. I'm going toward one of the houses - is it my house? I think I'm just staying here on a visit. Between me and the house is a strange being - a girl with fur. I'm not thinking of her as a "cat-girl", but that is the sort of fur - I don't really know if she has a tail or not. (I may have thought it up after I woke up.) She's also very friendly, and we like each other a lot, though for a moment when we came together I was apprehensive. We talk a bit - I don't remember the conversation, but it's something to do with the reason I'm here, which is a wedding or something. In any case, someone is in transition. We go to another house where there's a gathering of people for this event - we seem to be helping pack up to move out of the house. There's an atmosphere rather like Christmas here, with people and things about. (The girl with fur has now changed to regular skin - she has dark, short hair, kind of pretty, lively, we are friends.) We are in one room - the living room, I guess, and I go into the next room, which is darker, and there's a group of things on the floor to deal with - I think some of them are presents, and there's wrappings about. Interesting stuff, and I believe there's wine bottles.
2JSA, 1ISA, 2JSA
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
76
1985-1997
4/3/86
F
A
I am very hot in the living room of the house I live in with my parents, who've gone out. Things were all right before but now I'm very hot, and when they call on the phone to check on me I tell them I'm okay - maybe a little warm. I get up at last to check the thermostat, which I can't see very well. I think it says it's been turned up way high and it's over 80 in here, and I turn it down. Then I look at the thermometer and see it's not that hot, so I turn on the light properly and see I've turned it down to 30 or so. I turn it back and now I have to seriously consider that I have a fever. I notice there are leaks in the roof, and I have to put the bathroom wastebasket under one, only to discover others, and I have to locate other wastebaskets. There's only a couple empty and I have to transfer the...
2JKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
77
1985-1997
4/3/86
F
A
I'm out someplace on an errand - the setting is very pretty, lush green, nice building, don't know what it is. Or what I'm doing there. I'm leaving shortly and having to decide about going to La Madeleine for bread or sweets or something, but it's a drawback because it's farther away from my place even than I am now. I consider doing without but then I remember another rustic little French cafe/deli more nearly on the way and I resolve to go there. It's not a place I've been to much but I think it will have what I want, and it's pretty cute.
null
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
78
1985-1997
4/4/86
F
A
Me and 2 or 3 other women move into a neat apartment with a pool. It's more like a resort really - I almost think all the places have a pool but they're together sort of. One of my roommates is a shrink and one of the others is her patient - either that or she works with everybody at times. It's a glorious sunny day and we're having a good time - at our pool we have a 2nd, shallow pool - not a hot tub or spa, I don't know what it's for - but it has faucets for hot and cold. There are things in it - something edible that belongs to one of the other women. There's also soap powder in it, because it was there before we ran the water in. I'm trying to get as much of the soap out as I can. There's a guy here too - I think he's the other woman's boyfriend. Seems to be helping me. Somewhere before, there's been something about meat, and things in it - I don't know where it takes place or who's talking, but the topic of discussion is how we used to eat contaminated meat and now what we eat is very clean because of refrigeration. There were close-ups of bugs depositing little black things in pieces of beef. And the point is that if we ever have to do without our refrigerators and freezers we'll have to go back to eating meat with things in it - which may not kill us but we'll have to learn some new things and be careful about it. Meanwhile, back at the pool, I'm playing my radio and also my male cousin comes over to work with one of his patients, who lives in the complex. (A male.) They're on the opposite side of this arrangement, which is partly enclosed - sort of like a marina. He doesn't see me. My 2 roommates are doing some work on the other end of the shallow pool - I'm still doing something with a small bucket. We drain the water out and fill it up again with hot, and it makes bubbles - they have something to do with the work they're doing. I wonder if it isn't going to be too hot, but they don't get in it anyway. I do have to modify it with a bit of cold, though. They want it so the bubbles pile up very big, and literally block off (but not cover up) the girl. I don't know what that's all about. I look over atmy male cousin and he's doing something similar. I decide to go back inside. It requires some odd configuration of keys. Sandy Bourghs is there visiting, and she tells me about going out in the country to pick berries (or something), which sounds like fun. We have a pleasant conversation and [she] leaves. I love this house/apartment. It's got interesting arrangements, and dark wood and molding and a whole lot of character. I stay in here for a while with my radio and then decide I'll go back out for a swim. I don't have a bathing suit, though, so I'll have to wear my shorts and a T-shirt - I think about whether that will be allowed and decide it will. I picture me sitting with some other people in this and it's close enough. I also think I look kind of cute in it. I look around for something to put on my feet and decide I need a pair of rubber thongs - I think someone else is here and we find this very progressive, that here I am wearing shorts and a T-shirt and I would wear beach thongs too. Anyway I start out the side door and look outside, find I've forgotten my radio and go back for it. I see I've blithely left the door unlocked and feel guilty and vulnerable. I get my radio (the casing has come off the transformer that's attached to it) and go out the front door this time - as I'm locking it my male cousin and his patient and his wife come up the walk to go to the street and leave. I think how funny I can actually let my male cousin see me looking like this. I must be getting better. However, he doesn't stop and talk - I don't actually know if he even sees me - but it doesn't bother me anyway.
2FSA, 1FKA, 1MSA, 1MKA, 1MKA
HA 1FKA+D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
79
1985-1997
4/16/86
F
A
There's a group of Puerto Ricans or some such holed up in a seedy apartment (do I live in this building too?) who've got up in arms about something - it may be a rent strike or something, anyway their utilities have been cut off. They're rather hostile and I don't want to hang around but at first they won't let me leave. Later I'm outside (but don't know how I got there), and I'm looking at the water spouts on the roof (I guess) and seeing how they fixed up to get water in by hooking up a pipe to a drainspout - the water's dirty but it does come in and I guess they boil it. I sort of admire their ingenuity.
2JEA
AN 2JKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
80
1985-1997
4/9/86
F
A
I'm coming to a bus stop on foot - it's at the end of a residential street that turns a circle behind some shops. It seems to be night but it may be the back-alley-like darkness of the place. I stand for a minute at one stop, then decide to change to the other side in case this one doesn't actually go downtown after all. The other side isn't exactly opposite. But rather than stand there I move to the next where there's some cars or something I can obscure myself behind, because there's a group of unsavory types coming this way. I get on the bus and it's not ded but there's plenty of people, including Roger C. It's definitely morning now, and he's being gregarious as usual, talking all the time. He's talking to me now, and I'm conscious of having been given substance and identification in the eyes of the other people on the bus because he knows me, and they know him. He's talking about a couple we know having finally gotten married, which I'm skeptical about and don't find entertaining. This is remarked on, and I reply that I have my doubts about the whole thing and will reserve judgement till I see it for myself. Roger has to get off the bus sooner than I do, and when he leaves I look around for a seat. This is a very different bus, and is furnished with bits and pieces of furniture; it's also L-shaped. The place nearest to me to sit is a very uncomfortable-looking vanity-type chair, square seat, no back to speak of, minimal padding. It's next to a quaint little side table, and the both are backed up to a recliner-lounge chair, rendering it unusable. But I can't effectively move them. (I sit on the little chair for a minute and stand up again?) Then I'm looking through a sort of pad of paper, long and narrow, joined at the top, which may be a calendar or something in its real purpose, but it has also some pictures inserted, as it were for advertising. It came that way. The pictures are of people's faces, who have horrible, catastrophic, disfiguring illnesses, and they're there to direct attention, public attention, to the need for help and understanding. People have looked upon these people as if they were monsters, imagining they were vampires, etc., and I'm aware that if the people near me on this bus were to see them, they'd do that too, and I'm not anxious to discuss it with them.
2JSA, 1MKA, 2JSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
81
1985-1997
4/11/86
F
A
I'm with Andy, a male friend at a shopping center, very large parking lot, don't know about the place. (Sears?) is relatively small, as we walk toward it I can see inside it's not laid out very attractively but as I look I think it's probably quite normally stocked once you get in there. We're entering by a back entrance, where linens are; we go forward and I come around a main section from the left and back to the right side and look at sunglasses. I kneel down to look at some sunglasses in a basket on a very low shelf - some are children's, the others are so off that they tilt at an almost steep enough angle to spring right off my head. No good. The guy I'm with is looking at something else and I go to catch up with him and we leave. On the way I'm stopped by a guy in a white suit who asks me some questions - just friendly, but I thought rather pushy of him. I think he's asking what I like to do. I get away from him but there's another in the parking lot and I observe there's several, I realize they're Krishnas in a new costume and remark upon the same. I'm thinking they seem less objectionable this way. In the parking lot there's some things going on, like demonstrations of crafts, contests, maybe. I'm not sure if Paula Smith's around somewhere, but I know Sherry is. She's guiding or running something by some nice shady trees and I go to have a look. (I'm not sure what's going on, but it involves a mechanism of some kind.) Sherry is very happy to see me, and gives me some kind of support or advice. Later I'm with Andy (for sure), and he's being his usual boisterous self, sitting at a desk (in his house?) and making passes at me. I don't know how he fits in with the other place but I think he does. A movie theater, quite informal sort of place, maybe it's in somebody's house. I'm sitting (with Andy?) on the side of the audience, we're talking and not really watching the movie, which is some kind of kid-adventure affair. I get interested and get up to change my seat so I can see properly - I go to the back of the little group of seats to have a look for a good place. The guy from the bus is in one seat, so I want to be sure not to sit too close to him. Connected with this is Michael J. Fox, much younger than he is now. Perhaps he's in the movie. I see him as though I'm watching him, but this is all tied up with another scene, the dining room of a house - it's a bit dark - the family that lives here is a bit old-fashioned, and the stodgy old parents don't approve of something. I'm visiting with their son. They're dressed a lot like working-class drudges, and act that way, a bit on the dumb side.
1MKA, 1MSA, 1MSA, 2ISA, 1FKA, 1FKA
HA 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
82
1985-1997
4/13/86
F
A
I'm walking with several other people, one of whom is Bobbie. Both of us are having trouble walking, and we've fallen behind the others, but I'm ahead of her for some reason. I seem to be infirm in some way, maybe I'm limping. Bobbie, I think, is okay, but just not as spry as she used to be. The others have to wait for us sometimes, but mostly they let us straggle. We're going to turn right the way the bus does, and I think we're making for town. Later I'm in an office building, walking to an insurance agent's or lawyer's office with another person, maybe 2. Don't know what for. On the way, a woman passes carrying a small child with a spray can of the "string" stuff, and it aims it at me. First it doesn't actually spray anything straight, but I flinch and react with fear. It does it again, a bit more this time, and I'm really pissed off. Mama takes offense, grabs the can herself and sprays it right at me, finally getting rather more on me and she frankly enjoys it, seeing somebody messed up who objects to her child's playing. I decide I've had enough and I'm going to put a stop to it, so I grab the can from her, wrench the spray top off and throw it away. She really gets pissed now, and warns me to expect a lawsuit. Don't remember her exact words, but she's quite sure I'm going to get taken to the cleaners. I compose myself and continue to the place we're going, knowing I'll have to clean myself up for the appointment. I wonder how bad the damage is. After we get to the office and check in with the receptionist, we sit on a couch to wait. I get a look at myself in a mirror finally and somehow I've got a black smudge on my forehead and a spot of white, as well as the pink stuff in my hair. I'm thinking now I might as well leave it and let the legal types see how I look. In all this, I'm concerned about her threat to get me in trouble, but not sure what to expect - I don't feel I'm entirely blameless (of course) but positive that she's the one who did the hostile act, and would be the one to get punished, if there was any question of that. I hadn't considered that, of course, I don't think in terms of me calling for retribution. But I'm worried that she's going to get me in trouble - if not directly, then she's going to mess up what I'm doing here at this office.
1FKA, 2ISA, 1ISC, 1ISA, 1IOA
AP D, AN 1FKA, AN D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
83
1985-1997
4/14/86
F
A
I have trapped a guy who means to do me some harm in a tiny room and slugged him unconscious - first I sprayed or waved something in his face. This room is odd, and nearly circular, and seems to be independent. It may stand by itself in a house; I don't think it's outside. He and a partner have accosted me and someone else, and he brought me inside to look for something he wants. Now that I've stopped him, I'm thinking of how to get his companion... While I've got a moment, I'm dabbing on some perfume from a little dressing table and looking around. The room is stuffed full of clothes and stuff, old furnishings, but it's tiny... Maybe I should tie him up instead - might come to, then I'd be back where I started. I find a tie and tie his hands. While I'm doing this he starts to come around so I slug him again. I'm enjoying that. I haven't tied anyone up before, so I'm not doing a very efficient job. Especially, I tie his feet and mean to tie his hands to them but they ought to be in back. He's a bit conscious now, and I ask him how flexible he is, can he put his feet through his hands and come up that way? He doesn't think so. There are people around by this time, we seem to have relocated to a street corner or somewhere. I'm conscious that they may thinking I'm the bad guy here and they ought to do something about me.
1MSA, 1MSA, 1ISA, 2JSA
HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
84
1985-1997
4/15/86
F
A
Kirk driving me and another girl - decide to get something to eat, go to a place where there's a big pistachio cake we drool over in the window, as well as a German chocolate, and then some others. A hotel where I take an elevator to a floor I'm not familiar with and see a girl with long blonde hair who recognizes me and looks familiar to me - but we don't know where we know each other from. She appears at first to have a sort of film over her face. There's a banquet going on somewhere and I'm looking for another exit - the back way is where they've kept the rolls and I mean to steal one. I don't grab when it's easiest but when I'm already out in the hall and may be seen by the serving women. I put it on the plate of food I now have in my hand, hoping it won't be noticed. Someone is collecting money in strange boxes which it is thought are hard to figure out how to get into, but which aren't. They have a sliding top, that's all, and are of wood painted white. The money is for a good cause, and we're on a street sidewalk where the overseer of this showing me how it works. Dirk picks me up from there.
1MKA, 1FSA, 2FSA, 1ISA, 1IOA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
85
1985-1997
4/18/86
F
A
I'm driving to my male cousin's for my appointment - I'm with somebody else and I'm late for some reason. When I get there finally he's rather perturbed because he's got a group together and they're wanting to go someplace for breakfast and work there. I didn't even know about the group - he's arranged this because he's going out of town and is taking care of everybody at once. His house is interesting, with a kind of close front door and entry going back to a kitchen/dining area and the group is in a room left of that. Kitchen light is yellow. They've all had to wait, not just for me, but 1 or 2 others, and now we all get up and leave for someplace, maybe Denny's. I get back in the car - it's either raining or been raining and this is an old convertible, maybe a sports car, top up. I have to take my male cousin's dog with me - it's maybe a Basset Hound and typically morose-looking, willing to be shunted round but not enthusiastic. We leave. On the way I decide, hell, I'm not hungry, and this doesn't sound that great, I'm not gonna go. So I just take off on my own path.
1MKA, 1MSA, 2JSA, 1ANI
SD 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
86
1985-1997
4/18/86
F
A
I'm at the library doing something about furniture in a reading room that bears no resemblance to anything in the new or old buildings - it's a very quiet, isolated room with big windows (or a window-wall) that look out over a lot of blue sky and a clean, green landscape with white buildings. The room is in shade. There's a magazine rack to be moved or sold, the furniture has been changed somewhat in function. I look around and find the magazines are now just arranged on top of a cabinet, in the old-style red-edged holders. There's not a lot of furniture here at all, and I don't actually see any tables for reading, or anything much in the way of people using the room, but I know it's a reading room like the old one, for magazines and newspapers. I think it has a parquet floor. <br />&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; I'm leaving, and Lisa is with me. We're going to get something to eat together, and she's driving. We're going into an old neighborhood and it's dark and the feel of the place is that I've gone back in time to Grandmom's neighborhood. Lisa says something, responding to me, that is very typically Pleasing-type, and I react amused, and comment on it. She doesn't know about this, so I explain a bit and also make clear that there's nothing wrong with it, it's just that it's so recognizable. [What she said was in response to me expressing some kind of discomfort and she offered ways to help, but I don't know what it was that I'd said.] We get where we're going, which is a kind of drug/grocery store, small, old-timey, and I live there, or at least I keep my groceries there. I have an ice chest and something else and I'm looking at a couple of large chocolate cakes, sheet size, with chocolate frosting and nuts on top, they're probably more ie than cake. I don't remember how I got them, but I wonder what I can do with them besides eat them all at once like a glutton. I have an inspiration: I'll keep them and have them at a party! No, 2 parties! Considering how big they are, they'll do very well - even cut in half they'll serve a lot of people. I can freeze them until then. I'll cut them in half, and they'll fit in the ice chest better since they're a little too big the way they are. I open the lid and see that the ice is mostly melted. Oh dear, I can't put cake in there. Even wrapped up the best possible way, it won't prevent it from getting soaked eventually. I'll have to think of something else. Meanwhile I notice that my space is being a bit further limited by the produce/cold case that's been shoved further forward and now forms a part of my area = I remark to Lisa that what's in it isn't mine after all, but the store people probably just didn't think how awkward that is.
1FKA
HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
87
1985-1997
4/19/86
F
A
I'm supposed to go to a city on a plane - I'm running behind all the way. I live in a small frame house on a quiet little street in a neighborhood near the airport, with my stepmother and Dad and I supposemy brother - everybody's going out but Dad, and while I'm packing they all leave. (There was some question about whether Dad would leave too, and I think someone reminds him to lock the door.) I throw things in the suitcase and run on out to the bus stop. The bus stop is only a block or so away. It's dusk, getting later, and I get on a bus after a fidgety wait, and realize it's the wrong one. (I think; not sure about this point.) Also, I've opened the suitcase to refold something and found that I've forgotten very important things like a sweater or something to keep warm with, and I know I have to go back. I've got only half an hour, which is pretty desperate. I know I'll have to drive my car instead of taking the bus. Hadn't wanted to do that because I didn't want to pay to leave it at the airport, but maybe Dad can drive it back and I'll just have to trust him. (I hadn't before.) I know I've got to get off this bus right away, before I get too far to get home, so I throw stuff back in the suitcase and run to the front to stop the driver. Somehow I run back home (even though the case is heavy - perhaps I don't even have it). I go around to the back door first, hoping that either Dad's home or he's left it unlocked. (There seems to be something right in front of the door, which at first I thought was propping it open, but the door is shut.) It is unlocked - I turn the knob and go in, and he's on the couch in the living room watching TV. I run to get clothes, including a nightgown and slippers, and when I open the suitcase, I wonder about the typewriter that's in there. [This is my ex's old typewriter.] I don't really remember putting it there, and I don't think I really need it - after another moment or two I decide to take it out - it's heavy and I can get along much better without it. I check the time and find I've now got 20 minutes (or is it 10?). Things are getting pretty hairy. I am looking at a purple sweater or jacket that I wear with a T-shirt or something else short-sleeved, and find that I haven't got that because my brother's wearing it, which I don't appreciate. How inconsiderate of him to wear my shirt when I want it. Dadand I do get in the car and go on to the airport, but I don't know if I get there in time.
1FKA, 1MKA, 1ISA, 1MKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
88
1985-1997
4/28/86
F
A
I'm waiting in a line for a haircut. This is in a department store, methinks, and it's not a proper salon, but perhaps the haircutter is visiting or something, he's set up by some partitions, just one chair, and there's a steady stream of people to get their hair cut. The guy behind me is quite chatty - young new-wave type, he's talking about hair and hairstyles, the hairdresser, etc. I'm rather quiet - I'm becoming concerned that I'm getting my hair cut here instead of letting Loretta do it. Is she going to feel insulted? Is this disloyal of me? Maybe I should bug out and call Loretta after all. However, I'm already here and I really do want my hair cut, so why not go ahead? She probably won't mind, after all. And it's something different to do. <br />&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; I get up to almost the head of the line and I get instructions to go to the ladies' room and wash my hair. It's a biggish place, all tile, of course, maybe red or terracotta, all clean and bright. I shampoo my hair and rinse, but not very long, and when I go to the mirror and run my brush through my hair, it gets all soapy again and I go "yuck" and have to rinse again. For some reason, even though this counter/sink/mirror arrangement is a narrow spot, it's the same opposite, and my next move is to turn around to the other mirror to finish whatever I'm doing (drying my hair?). Back at the ranch, I join up with the kid again and he's got the idea he can cut my hair himself. He's got style, he says, and he's creative, why not let him try his hand? I figure he can't do all that much damage before my turn comes; so I go along with it. I don't actually seem to remember him cutting my hair clearly, but he does a lousy job, with clumsy chunks out of it. I know it looks dumb but I'll just wait for the pro to recut it. It's just about my turn now.
2JSA, 1FKA, 1MSA, 2FSA, 1MSA
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
89
1985-1997
5/2/86
F
A
Bobbie is working at a kind of carrel, imagine a bigger micro reader or charge machine, where it comes over your head. What she's doing involves cards, or something to move about, and I'm coming in from the next room, expecting to do something else, but I can see I really should be helping her. At least, I have the impression that she expects me to, or at least wishes I would but that isn't said. I don't want to, and I'm wondering if I can get away without it. There's an identical carrel behind her, and I start to do something at it. Bobbie goes out for a minute.
1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
90
1985-1997
5/2/86
F
A
I've just come into a room, from outside, with a male companion; this is a place I've been living with my ex, who is also present, and I've recently broken up with him. I'm here to pack up some things I haven't moved out yet, and my ex is really upset about the whole thing. He doesn't start an argument or say anything really inflammatory, but he's seething, as though his pride is hurt and I've done him a great injustice. The other guy is fairly nonchalant - he didn't contribute to any of this, and we're not any big romance, but he is my friend and cares about me - just the same, he isn't anxious to antagonize my ex. As I face away from them (I think I'm sitting at a table or dressing-table), a yellow kitten comes round from behind something to greet me. I'm happy to see him - my ex and I had just gotten him before the breakup and I'd decided he should stay with my ex because I couldn't have all the cats and my ex would need him - but he's adorable and I'm sorry I can't have everything. The kitten's name may be Schroeder. [While I'm dreaming, I try to think of it but S. doesn't seem exactly right and nothing else comes clear.] The kitten is also happy to see me and wants to go with me, but I think (reluctantly) that it's all better this way, we must do what's best. (And I wouldn't want to take him away from my ex.)
1MKA, 1MKA, 1ANI
AN 1MKA, HA D, AP 1MKA
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
91
1985-1997
5/10/86
F
A
I'm in my apartment bedroom, with someone else (female, don't know who), while a delivery is being made somewhere and there's a truck parked outside my window. It's so big that I'm seeing the underpinnings of it or something - but it's bright daylight and the truck doesn't block the sun. My room is larger and arranged strangely, with (beds?) across the width of it, and somehow making it difficult to get to the window. The other person is standing at the window and calls to me that the kittens have gotten out the window and into the truck - that is, part of the metal stuff of the truck makes a hole that they jumped into from the windowsill. There are 3 kittens, they seem to be MB's, at least one is black and white too, the others aren't the same - one may be and white but I'm not sure. I think the other's all black. They all have names but I couldn't recall them when I was thinking about them, except one's called Trouble, I think. I'm quite upset about them getting on the truck, it might leave and they'd get hurt, or they'd fall to the ground where they are. I tell my companion to get them back and I make my way over there myself. She's got one back in already and then another and the black one falls down. Which doesn't put me in a complete panic but I'm into Emergency mode and I know I have to go get it at once, which is not all that simple under the circumstances, with the furniture in the room. (There also seems to be an opening in the floor, which makes it necessary to climb over the furniture.) I'm also terrified that MB got on the truck too and either fell down herself or will, and she'll be harder to retrieve - but as I get to the door of the bedroom, I see she's here after all. I also don't know how we're going to keep them from doing this again. [Shutting the window didn't occur to me.] (By the way, the distance to the ground looks longer than it really does and the kitten could really have gotten hurt, but I looked down and there were things down there to land on and I didn't think it would be desperate.)
1FSA, 2ANI, 1ANI
AP D, AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
92
1985-1997
5/10/86
F
A
Previously: I'm on a little balcony or outside upstairs walkway, and there's a place that I'm assuming is some kind of shop. There are things to look at, anyway, and it's all old-timey, maybe antiques, with lace doilies on things. I'm looking through a basket of picture-cards, like big postcards, and come upon one that shows a woman (all dressed quite properly for 1890 or so) on a funny kind of exercise bike, that is built on a nice upholstered chair. It certainly is quaint and funny-looking but as I think about it I think you could actually do that after all. I set it down again and mention to the woman I'm with what I saw, that she'd be interested, she ought to have a look at it. (I don't know who she is, but she's older than me; also standing on a higher level of the floor here, a step or two up from my part of the shop, and by a railing that divides the sections.) She says oh really, where is it, and I go to fetch it again and it isn't there. After an initial look where I knew it ought to be I go through them all again and never do find it.
1FSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
93
1985-1997
5/21/86
F
A
I'm walking down a road that curves to the left, near a park - it's open where I am, then a hedge-wall on the left (or isn't it growing up a short underpass?), then the park - there's a car coming - I think I know who's in it, but in any case I'm friendly to them, and mean to get out of the way. Rather than moving to the side, I walk faster - the car is moving slowly - and then I find I'd like to run. I'm wearing a skirt and wedge-heel sandals (like my old navy ones) and I thought I wouldn't be able to run in them, but I can, and I run round the curve to the park. There are a lot of people here, and they're putting on a play. However, the play isn't on a stage, it's in the park itself. Most of these people are acting in it, and they're scattered across the sidewalk and onto the lawn. I can't tell exactly what's supposed to be going on, but it's obviously an outdoor scene meant to look colorful. Reminds me of a couple of production numbers in "Oliver!" The players are dressed in some (fairly stylized) period costume of that sort (the "Oliver!" sort). I am more or less in their way as I go through them - I have to bob and weave a bit - but nobody gives any suggestion that it bothers them and no attempt is made to stop me. Since it's a public park, I think they must expect it. After I get through them I go on up a little grassy hill to meet my "boyfriend". He's sitting in the driver's seat of his car, parked up there, near an RV. I go up to the back of the RV. He's waiting for me, we're going to go somewhere else in his car, but I have to do something first. I have an object in my hand (I must have gotten it from the back of the RV, I haven't had it before) - it's a circle, tubular, orange, and probably plastic, maybe 8" in diameter, and it has a clasp or join of some kind, like a necklace would - the thing is twisted open and I'm trying to bring it back together and hook it in place.
2JSA, 2JSA, 1MKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
94
1985-1997
5/22/86
F
A
I'm in a grocery store, towards the back, and I'm looking at things on shelves that make a corner, where I can't be readily seen. Nobody passes by much. As I'm standing I shit. I feel it, and the natural urge to void, then I realize what I'm doing. I'm startled and horrified and turn with my back to the shelves and try to shake it off. Won't go. A person or 2 walks by and doesn't notice, and I finally realize I'm wearing a skirt and underpants. (I'd thought I had nothing on from the waist down at least.) This means it's not just one long turd hanging off, though, it's mashed in my pants. Yuck. But at least I can go to the bathroom. When I get there, there's a line. Theo is in it. I'm not very happy about having to wait.
1ISA, 1MKA
CO D, AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
95
1985-1997
5/22/86
F
A
I've just come back to the "library" from being out somewhere and Bobbie wants me to fix up some displays on tables. She points out others and asks if I didn't do some of those. I said I had, sort of -I just fixed them up a bit. I wish she wouldn't ask me to do things like that. The room looks rather like an exhibit hall. The displays seem to be ceramic or porcelain - plates and bowls and colorful objects.
1FKA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
96
1985-1997
5/22/86
F
A
I'm in a small plain room with a high ceiling and long tables going across. We're supposed to be looking at a film. It's the next place I went in the "library" and I'm on the staff here, the others are patrons. The person who set this up has to leave and asks me to take over. Again I'm not thrilled about this and say to the 3 or 4 others that I've never done this before. I also drop my stuff on the floor. (Books, notebook, etc.) While the film is going on (I guess) a troop of people, mostly kids, come through the door and into the next room (to their right - an open passage - room is dark - another door opposite - looks a bit lab-like). Dana's with them, and I go talk to her. I notice one, then another, then another, of these kids look like younger versions of people I know and I realize they must be the offspring (I'm only aware of boys, though) of those people. I'm taken aback and say to myself the time has passed and I didn't even know it - that my friends could all have kids this big. I say this to Dana and she agrees. She's trying to keep them all organized for a tour and periodically gives instructions - they go across and out the other door. They all get through and the lot leaves. I go back to the other room.
2JOA, 1ISA, 2JKC, 1FKA
CO D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
97
1985-1997
5/22/86
F
A
I'm in a strange sort of car with a guy (can't place him) - I'm not aware of either of us driving but we are moving. It's begun to rain cats and dogs, and I think how clever it would be to wash the car now. I guess we go under things from time to time, and I try to get the soap on the car (by hoisting meself partly through the back window) before we come back out into the rain. Doesn't work, but it's fun.
1MSA
null
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
98
1985-1997
5/25/86
F
A
I've been kidnapped - held prisoner in a little frame house by a group of men, all typical bad-guy types, led by a smallish guy with dark hair and eyes and several days' growth of beard, and a big mustache. Looks like he's trying to be a Pancho Villa, sort of. They're not holding me for ransom, I don't think - it's a power trip and I'm being threatened with rape, though nothing's happened yet. I get moved from one room to another some, I'm not stuck in one place. I feel tense and dreadful, but not terrified. There are always hints and innuendoes about what can happen to me and mostly I just stay quiet and don't disturb anything in case I might draw attention to myself. Lori and Tom are here somewhere, but I don't know why. I think they're prisoners too but I'm not sure about their status. At least they don't seem to be getting the same treatment that I do, except that once the little nasty guy had Tom do some things with me. It was kind of like dancing and kind of like feeling me up but didn't go very far. At first I didn't know it wasTom and when I found out I was kind of relieved.Tom was kind of nervous and spooked, keeping quiet like me. At last they've left me alone again and I can look around - I find a way out and I can get outside when the guards aren't looking and run away. I check to see if their attention is elsewhere and take off. I don't have to run far to be able to "disappear" - the house is in an open, urban district, actually quite near a big industrial "yard" of some sort, and I suppose a factory or some such thing - I can see downtown rising across the space it's a little overcast today but no rain., There are also a few other buildings round here, like office buildings, and right here in the street (I guess) is a little art/crafts fair, with tables and displays of various pretty things. This is just far enough from the kidnappers' house I think I can keep out of sight here. (Actually I'm not even sure they know I'm gone - there's no hue and cry so far, but I'd better keep moving.) I feel quite light and cheerful, actually - this is fun. I look around some and then move on - I go into an office building nearby. It's small for an office building and has 8 floors. I believe I'll go up to 8 - I have the idea I'll be safer there and somehow I can run up there. The elevator door is right next to the building's commissary/deli - there are deli cases in a horseshoe around this smallish room, with only a few tables. The light's very dim here, except for the lights in the cases., There are several people here, waiting for the elevator, which is dead slow. While I'm waiting I go and look in the cases at the goodies, which are rather tempting, but I don't get anything. (Am I not hungry? Or don't I have any money?) The ladies in the white food-service-y uniforms behind the counters sort of lean on them casually like they're a little bored, but comfortable and remark that this elevator's always like that, isn't it awful? When I came in I pushed the button for the 8th floor (from the outside, yes) and it wouldn't light up. So I pushed some more, and harder, and eventually the button just caved in on itself and the inside showed the mechanism gone. You just can't go to the 8th floor at all. So finally the elevator shows up and the 5 or 6 of us get on, and by George the button for 8 is already pushed in here. I'm a bit frustrated, since I really wanted to go to 8. I guess I'll go to 7, but I'm not sure I know what's there and maybe it won't be as much fun.
2MOA, 1MSA, 1MKA, 2MOA, 1MOA
AP D, HA D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
99
1985-1997
5/30/86
F
A
A large rather horseshoe-shaped house - name "hacienda" comes to mind - I think it has red tile roofs, some parts are 2-story. A large group of people are staying here - house is neither my house nor a hotel, or an apartment building as far as I can tell, it may be an institution of some kind, like a school. The people here are more or less homogeneous - mostly my age, equal men and women - all engaged in something, which I think is putting on some kind of production. We operate together, but there's a lot of us and we have smaller groups for various tasks. [The house is old but not antique-y like some of my others. Lots of greenery around, reinforces the Mexican look of the place - or Southwestern, anyway. Whatever it is, it's a well-established one, comfortable and well-suited.] I'm in a back hallway, darkish, the only light comes from a window in the outside door at the end and a light on the telephone "booth" - one of those wall-things. Somebody who reminds me of Nan is using the phone. I wait for her and someone comes by us. For some reason I'm concerned, don't know why. Goes on down the hall. "She" finishes her call and we go down the hall ourselves and out and around to a gathering of people in a large, bright room with a lot of long tables in, I suppose, it's a dining hall. I don't see any food but maybe we're just finishing a meal. Anyway, we're all talking amongst ourselves and the guy who walked down the hall comes in and starts to berate me. It's all a lot of nonsense, he's really quite wrong, but he's really wild and seems to be coming unglued. Somebody (I think the guy next to me) faces him about it and he says (to wit) "Aha! You think I can't/won't do anything about this! We'll see about that!" And he brings out a large cobra. Everybody gasps and pulls back and he threatens with it like a madman and runs it over his fingers and all. I seem to be the most panic-stricken and I run, after I stare at it mesmerized for a minute, looking to see if it really is a cobra and if it isn't maybe this isn't so bad, but I think it is and this is big-time serious. I run out of the place and he follows. I run across the courtyard to a set of stairs and a little bitty sub-courtyard/patio and ask if they'll hide me. [Apparently not - I know I am back in that hallway again. May have been before the stairs or not. I do spend rather a while running from this guy. I am really afraid of that snake - they are really poisonous.
2JSA, 1FKA, 1MSA, 1ISA, 1ANI
AP D
alta
Alta: a detailed dreamer
100
1985-1997
5/30/86
F
A
I'm driving a car somewhere, because it's south of downtown like that other dream, there's a big space to cross from here to downtown, with open industrial things going on between. I've stopped at a little building that seems to front some grounds and may be, like, the cafe attached to a motel or a park or something. I get out and go around back for some reason - there are people around, some going along a pathway that gets you to the grounds, others hanging around socializing. I'm not terribly anxious to be noticed, whatever it is that I'm doing (I'm looking for something, or a way to do something, but I have to poke around to do that), so I give it a miss and go back to the car. I'm thinking it might be more practical and fun to go from this point on a bicycle, though I'm not sure how practical it is. I get the bike out of the car and try it out. It's really very nice, a very nice day for riding and a nice bit of path. But I think to myself, how am I going to bring the car along too? Actually I think I can do it easily enough, it'll just be awkward and slow me down and I'm rather in a hurry. But I can't leave it behind.
2JSA
null

Dataset Card for Dataset Name

Dataset Summary

This dataset card aims to be a base template for new datasets. It has been generated using this raw template.

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Dataset Structure

  • alta: 422
  • angie: 48
  • arlie: 212
  • b: 3116
  • b2: 1138
  • bay_area_girls_456: 234
  • bay_area_girls_789: 154
  • bea1: 223
  • bea2: 63
  • blind-f: 238
  • blind-m: 143
  • bosnak: 53
  • chris: 100
  • chuck: 75
  • college-f: 160
  • college-m: 160
  • dahlia: 24
  • david: 166
  • dorothea: 900
  • ed: 143
  • edna: 19
  • elizabeth: 1707
  • emma: 1221
  • emmas_husband: 72
  • esther: 110
  • hall_female: 681
  • izzy-all: 4352
  • jasmine-all: 664
  • jeff: 87
  • joan: 42
  • kenneth: 2022
  • lawrence: 206
  • mack: 38
  • madeline1-hs: 98
  • madeline2-dorms: 186
  • madeline3-offcampus: 348
  • madeline4-postgrad: 294
  • mark: 23
  • melissa: 89
  • melora: 211
  • melvin: 128
  • merri: 315
  • miami-home: 171
  • miami-lab: 274
  • midwest_teens-f: 111
  • midwest_teens-m: 83
  • nancy: 44
  • natural_scientist: 234
  • norman: 1235
  • norms-f: 491
  • norms-m: 500
  • pegasus: 1093
  • peru-f: 382
  • peru-m: 384
  • phil1: 106
  • phil2: 220
  • phil3: 180
  • physiologist: 86
  • pregnancy_abortion: 226
  • ringo: 16
  • sally: 249
  • samantha: 63
  • seventh_graders: 69
  • toby: 33
  • tom: 27
  • ucsc_women: 81
  • van: 192
  • vickie: 35
  • vietnam_vet: 98
  • vietnam_vet2: 32
  • vietnam_vet3: 463
  • west_coast_teens: 89

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