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dojo

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it 's a bad thing when a movie has about as much substance as its end credits blooper reel .

1negative

too often , the viewer is n't reacting to humor so much as they are wincing back in repugnance .

1negative

it appears that something has been lost in the translation to the screen .

1negative

here 's yet another studio horror franchise mucking up its storyline with glitches casual fans could correct in their sleep .

1negative

holden caulfield did it better .

1negative

this one is definitely one to skip , even for horror movie fanatics .

1negative

an overemphatic , would-be wacky , ultimately tedious sex farce .

1negative

that 's pure pr hype .

1negative

this is not the undisputed worst boxing movie ever , but it 's certainly not a champion - the big loser is the audience .

1negative

it 's clear the filmmakers were n't sure where they wanted their story to go , and even more clear that they lack the skills to get us to this undetermined destination .

1negative

not since freddy got fingered has a major release been so painful to sit through .

1negative

davis ... is so enamored of her own creation that she ca n't see how insufferable the character is .

1negative

there are simply too many ideas floating around -- part farce , part sliding doors , part pop video -- and yet failing to exploit them .

1negative

and when you 're talking about a slapstick comedy , that 's a pretty big problem .

1negative

deadeningly dull , mired in convoluted melodrama , nonsensical jargon and stiff-upper-lip laboriousness .

1negative

stealing harvard aspires to comedic grand larceny but stands convicted of nothing more than petty theft of your time .

1negative

the film is based on truth and yet there is something about it that feels incomplete , as if the real story starts just around the corner .

1negative

verbinski implements every hack-artist trick to give us the ooky-spookies .

1negative

a hamfisted romantic comedy that makes our girl the hapless facilitator of an extended cheap shot across the mason-dixon line .

1negative

and the lesson , in the end , is nothing new .

1negative

it seems to me the film is about the art of ripping people off without ever letting them consciously know you have done so

1negative

for starters , the story is just too slim .

1negative

the entire movie is about a boring , sad man being boring and sad .

1negative

a subject like this should inspire reaction in its audience ; the pianist does not .

1negative

however it may please those who love movies that blare with pop songs , young science fiction fans will stomp away in disgust .

1negative

it 's a bit disappointing that it only manages to be decent instead of dead brilliant .

1negative

hit and miss as far as the comedy goes and a big ole ' miss in the way of story .

1negative

the film 's few ideas are stretched to the point of evaporation ; the whole central section is one big chase that seems to have no goal and no urgency .

1negative

its story may be a thousand years old , but why did it have to seem like it took another thousand to tell it to us ?

1negative

part low rent godfather .

1negative

i do n't think i laughed out loud once .

1negative

too restrained to be a freak show , too mercenary and obvious to be cerebral , too dull and pretentious to be engaging ... the isle defies an easy categorization .

1negative

attempts by this ensemble film to impart a message are so heavy-handed that they instead pummel the audience .

1negative

... designed to provide a mix of smiles and tears , `` crossroads '' instead provokes a handful of unintentional howlers and numerous yawns .

1negative

professionally speaking , it 's tempting to jump ship in january to avoid ridiculous schlock like this shoddy suspense thriller .

1negative

the movie is dawn of the dead crossed with john carpenter 's ghosts of mars , with zombies not as ghoulish as the first and trains not as big as the second .

1negative

this is a shameless sham , calculated to cash in on the popularity of its stars .

1negative

in the end , we are left with something like two ships passing in the night rather than any insights into gay love , chinese society or the price one pays for being dishonest .

1negative

mattei is tiresomely grave and long-winded , as if circularity itself indicated profundity .

1negative

i 'd have to say the star and director are the big problems here .

1negative

a great ensemble cast ca n't lift this heartfelt enterprise out of the familiar .

1negative

it 's not that kung pow is n't funny some of the time -- it just is n't any funnier than bad martial arts movies are all by themselves , without all oedekerk 's impish augmentation .

1negative

passable entertainment , but it 's the kind of motion picture that wo n't make much of a splash when it 's released , and will not be remembered long afterwards .

1negative

chokes on its own depiction of upper-crust decorum .

1negative

the most hopelessly monotonous film of the year , noteworthy only for the gimmick of being filmed as a single unbroken 87-minute take .

1negative

i can take infantile humor ... but this is the sort of infantile that makes you wonder about changing the director and writer 's diapers .

1negative

( t ) here 's only so much anyone can do with a florid , overplotted , anne rice rock 'n' roll vampire novel before the built-in silliness of the whole affair defeats them .

1negative

it 's slow -- very , very slow .

1negative

it made me want to wrench my eyes out of my head and toss them at the screen .

1negative

well-nigh unendurable ... though the picture strains to become cinematic poetry , it remains depressingly prosaic and dull .

1negative

sometimes seems less like storytelling than something the otherwise compelling director needed to get off his chest .

1negative

but this films lacks the passion required to sell the material .

1negative

it 's a cookie-cutter movie , a cut-and-paste job .

1negative

forced , familiar and thoroughly condescending .

1negative

this piece of channel 5 grade trash is , quite frankly , an insult to the intelligence of the true genre enthusiast .

1negative

it ca n't decide if it wants to be a mystery/thriller , a romance or a comedy .

1negative

it all feels like a monty python sketch gone horribly wrong .

1negative

the x potion gives the quickly named blossom , bubbles and buttercup supernatural powers that include extraordinary strength and laser-beam eyes , which unfortunately do n't enable them to discern flimsy screenplays .

1negative

movie fans , get ready to take off ... the other direction .

1negative

it 's dumb , but more importantly , it 's just not scary .

1negative

even with a green mohawk and a sheet of fire-red flame tattoos covering his shoulder , however , kilmer seems to be posing , rather than acting .

1negative

once the 50 year old benigni appears as the title character , we find ourselves longing for the block of wood to come back .

1negative

it takes talent to make a lifeless movie about the most heinous man who ever lived .

1negative

even the finest chef ca n't make a hotdog into anything more than a hotdog , and robert de niro ca n't make this movie anything more than a trashy cop buddy comedy .

1negative

pumpkin takes an admirable look at the hypocrisy of political correctness , but it does so with such an uneven tone that you never know when humor ends and tragedy begins .

1negative

it 's too bad that the helping hand he uses to stir his ingredients is also a heavy one .

1negative

a very long movie , dull in stretches , with entirely too much focus on meal preparation and igloo construction .

1negative

this is n't even madonna 's swept away .

1negative

too much of the humor falls flat .

1negative

one long string of cliches .

1negative

despite all evidence to the contrary , this clunker has somehow managed to pose as an actual feature movie , the kind that charges full admission and gets hyped on tv and purports to amuse small children and ostensible adults .

1negative

there 's too much falseness to the second half , and what began as an intriguing look at youth fizzles into a dull , ridiculous attempt at heart-tugging .

1negative

just not campy enough

1negative

given how heavy-handed and portent-heavy it is , this could be the worst thing soderbergh has ever done .

1negative

i had to look away - this was god awful .

1negative

it treats women like idiots .

1negative

utterly lacking in charm , wit and invention , roberto benigni 's pinocchio is an astonishingly bad film .

1negative

expect the same-old , lame-old slasher nonsense , just with different scenery .

1negative

every nanosecond of the the new guy reminds you that you could be doing something else far more pleasurable .

1negative

a lackluster , unessential sequel to the classic disney adaptation of j.m. barrie 's peter pan .

1negative

from the opening scenes , it 's clear that all about the benjamins is a totally formulaic movie .

1negative

care deftly captures the wonder and menace of growing up , but he never really embraces the joy of fuhrman 's destructive escapism or the grace-in-rebellion found by his characters .

1negative

manages to be both repulsively sadistic and mundane .

1negative

portentous and pretentious , the weight of water is appropriately titled , given the heavy-handedness of it drama .

1negative

in all , this is a watchable movie that 's not quite the memorable experience it might have been .

1negative

there ought to be a directing license , so that ed burns can have his revoked .

1negative

rarely has leukemia looked so shimmering and benign .

1negative

try as i may , i ca n't think of a single good reason to see this movie , even though everyone in my group extemporaneously shouted , ` thank you ! '

1negative

should have been someone else -

1negative

the tale of tok ( andy lau ) , a sleek sociopath on the trail of o ( takashi sorimachi ) , the most legendary of asian hitmen , is too scattershot to take hold .

1negative

the movie 's accumulated force still feels like an ugly knot tightening in your stomach .

1negative

rarely has so much money delivered so little entertainment .

1negative

pumpkin means to be an outrageous dark satire on fraternity life , but its ambitions far exceed the abilities of writer adam larson broder and his co-director , tony r. abrams , in their feature debut .

1negative

at once half-baked and overheated .

1negative

indifferently implausible popcorn programmer of a movie .

1negative

scores no points for originality , wit , or intelligence .

1negative

not really bad so much as distasteful : we need kidnapping suspense dramas right now like we need doomsday thrillers .

1negative

the piquant story needs more dramatic meat on its bones .

1negative

slapstick buffoonery can tickle many a preschooler 's fancy , but when it costs a family of four about $ 40 to see a film in theaters , why spend money on a dog like this when you can rent a pedigree instead ?

1negative

it 's another video movie photographed like a film , with the bad lighting that 's often written off as indie film naturalism .

1negative