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it 's a bad thing when a movie has about as much substance as its end credits blooper reel .

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too often , the viewer is n't reacting to humor so much as they are wincing back in repugnance .

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it appears that something has been lost in the translation to the screen .

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here 's yet another studio horror franchise mucking up its storyline with glitches casual fans could correct in their sleep .

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holden caulfield did it better .

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this one is definitely one to skip , even for horror movie fanatics .

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an overemphatic , would-be wacky , ultimately tedious sex farce .

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that 's pure pr hype .

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this is not the undisputed worst boxing movie ever , but it 's certainly not a champion - the big loser is the audience .

1negative

it 's clear the filmmakers were n't sure where they wanted their story to go , and even more clear that they lack the skills to get us to this undetermined destination .

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not since freddy got fingered has a major release been so painful to sit through .

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davis ... is so enamored of her own creation that she ca n't see how insufferable the character is .

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there are simply too many ideas floating around -- part farce , part sliding doors , part pop video -- and yet failing to exploit them .

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and when you 're talking about a slapstick comedy , that 's a pretty big problem .

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deadeningly dull , mired in convoluted melodrama , nonsensical jargon and stiff-upper-lip laboriousness .

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stealing harvard aspires to comedic grand larceny but stands convicted of nothing more than petty theft of your time .

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the film is based on truth and yet there is something about it that feels incomplete , as if the real story starts just around the corner .

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verbinski implements every hack-artist trick to give us the ooky-spookies .

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a hamfisted romantic comedy that makes our girl the hapless facilitator of an extended cheap shot across the mason-dixon line .

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and the lesson , in the end , is nothing new .

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it seems to me the film is about the art of ripping people off without ever letting them consciously know you have done so

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for starters , the story is just too slim .

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the entire movie is about a boring , sad man being boring and sad .

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a subject like this should inspire reaction in its audience ; the pianist does not .

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however it may please those who love movies that blare with pop songs , young science fiction fans will stomp away in disgust .

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it 's a bit disappointing that it only manages to be decent instead of dead brilliant .

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hit and miss as far as the comedy goes and a big ole ' miss in the way of story .

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the film 's few ideas are stretched to the point of evaporation ; the whole central section is one big chase that seems to have no goal and no urgency .

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its story may be a thousand years old , but why did it have to seem like it took another thousand to tell it to us ?

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part low rent godfather .

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i do n't think i laughed out loud once .

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too restrained to be a freak show , too mercenary and obvious to be cerebral , too dull and pretentious to be engaging ... the isle defies an easy categorization .

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attempts by this ensemble film to impart a message are so heavy-handed that they instead pummel the audience .

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... designed to provide a mix of smiles and tears , `` crossroads '' instead provokes a handful of unintentional howlers and numerous yawns .

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professionally speaking , it 's tempting to jump ship in january to avoid ridiculous schlock like this shoddy suspense thriller .

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the movie is dawn of the dead crossed with john carpenter 's ghosts of mars , with zombies not as ghoulish as the first and trains not as big as the second .

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this is a shameless sham , calculated to cash in on the popularity of its stars .

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in the end , we are left with something like two ships passing in the night rather than any insights into gay love , chinese society or the price one pays for being dishonest .

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mattei is tiresomely grave and long-winded , as if circularity itself indicated profundity .

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i 'd have to say the star and director are the big problems here .

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a great ensemble cast ca n't lift this heartfelt enterprise out of the familiar .

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it 's not that kung pow is n't funny some of the time -- it just is n't any funnier than bad martial arts movies are all by themselves , without all oedekerk 's impish augmentation .

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passable entertainment , but it 's the kind of motion picture that wo n't make much of a splash when it 's released , and will not be remembered long afterwards .

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chokes on its own depiction of upper-crust decorum .

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the most hopelessly monotonous film of the year , noteworthy only for the gimmick of being filmed as a single unbroken 87-minute take .

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i can take infantile humor ... but this is the sort of infantile that makes you wonder about changing the director and writer 's diapers .

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( t ) here 's only so much anyone can do with a florid , overplotted , anne rice rock 'n' roll vampire novel before the built-in silliness of the whole affair defeats them .

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it 's slow -- very , very slow .

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it made me want to wrench my eyes out of my head and toss them at the screen .

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well-nigh unendurable ... though the picture strains to become cinematic poetry , it remains depressingly prosaic and dull .

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sometimes seems less like storytelling than something the otherwise compelling director needed to get off his chest .

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but this films lacks the passion required to sell the material .

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it 's a cookie-cutter movie , a cut-and-paste job .

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forced , familiar and thoroughly condescending .

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this piece of channel 5 grade trash is , quite frankly , an insult to the intelligence of the true genre enthusiast .

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it ca n't decide if it wants to be a mystery/thriller , a romance or a comedy .

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it all feels like a monty python sketch gone horribly wrong .

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the x potion gives the quickly named blossom , bubbles and buttercup supernatural powers that include extraordinary strength and laser-beam eyes , which unfortunately do n't enable them to discern flimsy screenplays .

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movie fans , get ready to take off ... the other direction .

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it 's dumb , but more importantly , it 's just not scary .

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even with a green mohawk and a sheet of fire-red flame tattoos covering his shoulder , however , kilmer seems to be posing , rather than acting .

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once the 50 year old benigni appears as the title character , we find ourselves longing for the block of wood to come back .

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it takes talent to make a lifeless movie about the most heinous man who ever lived .

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even the finest chef ca n't make a hotdog into anything more than a hotdog , and robert de niro ca n't make this movie anything more than a trashy cop buddy comedy .

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pumpkin takes an admirable look at the hypocrisy of political correctness , but it does so with such an uneven tone that you never know when humor ends and tragedy begins .

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it 's too bad that the helping hand he uses to stir his ingredients is also a heavy one .

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a very long movie , dull in stretches , with entirely too much focus on meal preparation and igloo construction .

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this is n't even madonna 's swept away .

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too much of the humor falls flat .

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one long string of cliches .

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despite all evidence to the contrary , this clunker has somehow managed to pose as an actual feature movie , the kind that charges full admission and gets hyped on tv and purports to amuse small children and ostensible adults .

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there 's too much falseness to the second half , and what began as an intriguing look at youth fizzles into a dull , ridiculous attempt at heart-tugging .

1negative

just not campy enough

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given how heavy-handed and portent-heavy it is , this could be the worst thing soderbergh has ever done .

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i had to look away - this was god awful .

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it treats women like idiots .

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utterly lacking in charm , wit and invention , roberto benigni 's pinocchio is an astonishingly bad film .

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expect the same-old , lame-old slasher nonsense , just with different scenery .

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every nanosecond of the the new guy reminds you that you could be doing something else far more pleasurable .

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a lackluster , unessential sequel to the classic disney adaptation of j.m. barrie 's peter pan .

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from the opening scenes , it 's clear that all about the benjamins is a totally formulaic movie .

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care deftly captures the wonder and menace of growing up , but he never really embraces the joy of fuhrman 's destructive escapism or the grace-in-rebellion found by his characters .

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manages to be both repulsively sadistic and mundane .

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portentous and pretentious , the weight of water is appropriately titled , given the heavy-handedness of it drama .

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in all , this is a watchable movie that 's not quite the memorable experience it might have been .

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there ought to be a directing license , so that ed burns can have his revoked .

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rarely has leukemia looked so shimmering and benign .

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try as i may , i ca n't think of a single good reason to see this movie , even though everyone in my group extemporaneously shouted , ` thank you ! '

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should have been someone else -

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the tale of tok ( andy lau ) , a sleek sociopath on the trail of o ( takashi sorimachi ) , the most legendary of asian hitmen , is too scattershot to take hold .

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the movie 's accumulated force still feels like an ugly knot tightening in your stomach .

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rarely has so much money delivered so little entertainment .

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pumpkin means to be an outrageous dark satire on fraternity life , but its ambitions far exceed the abilities of writer adam larson broder and his co-director , tony r. abrams , in their feature debut .

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at once half-baked and overheated .

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indifferently implausible popcorn programmer of a movie .

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scores no points for originality , wit , or intelligence .

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not really bad so much as distasteful : we need kidnapping suspense dramas right now like we need doomsday thrillers .

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the piquant story needs more dramatic meat on its bones .

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slapstick buffoonery can tickle many a preschooler 's fancy , but when it costs a family of four about $ 40 to see a film in theaters , why spend money on a dog like this when you can rent a pedigree instead ?

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it 's another video movie photographed like a film , with the bad lighting that 's often written off as indie film naturalism .

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