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for all the writhing and wailing , tears , rage and opium overdoses , there 's no sense of actual passion being washed away in love 's dissolution .

if you believe any of this , i can make you a real deal on leftover enron stock that will double in value a week from friday .

the end result is a film that 's neither .

no way i can believe this load of junk .

sacrifices the value of its wealth of archival foot-age with its less-than-objective stance .

dragonfly has no atmosphere , no tension -- nothing but costner , flailing away .

while the resident evil games may have set new standards for thrills , suspense , and gore for video games , the movie really only succeeds in the third of these .

nelson 's brutally unsentimental approach ... sucks the humanity from the film , leaving behind an horrific but weirdly unemotional spectacle .

( e ) ventually , every idea in this film is flushed down the latrine of heroism .

works hard to establish rounded characters , but then has nothing fresh or particularly interesting to say about them .

there are plot holes big enough for shamu the killer whale to swim through .

sticky sweet sentimentality , clumsy plotting and a rosily myopic view of life in the wwii-era mississippi delta undermine this adaptation .

to say this was done better in wilder 's some like it hot is like saying the sun rises in the east .

the lower your expectations , the more you 'll enjoy it .

a better title , for all concerned , might be swept under the rug .

the words , ` frankly , my dear , i do n't give a damn , ' have never been more appropriate .

( director ) o'fallon manages to put some lovely pictures up on the big screen , but his skill at telling a story -- he also contributed to the screenplay -- falls short .

it 's so mediocre , despite the dynamic duo on the marquee , that we just ca n't get no satisfaction .

the so-inept - it 's - surreal dubbing ( featuring the voices of glenn close , regis philbin and breckin meyer ) brings back memories of cheesy old godzilla flicks .

combining quick-cut editing and a blaring heavy metal much of the time , beck seems to be under the illusion that he 's shooting the latest system of a down video .

it has all the excitement of eating oatmeal .

i got a headache watching this meaningless downer .

a valueless kiddie paean to pro basketball underwritten by the nba .

whaley 's determination to immerse you in sheer , unrelenting wretchedness is exhausting .

late marriage 's stiffness is unlikely to demonstrate the emotional clout to sweep u.s. viewers off their feet .

vera 's technical prowess ends up selling his film short ; he smoothes over hard truths even as he uncovers them .

stultifyingly , dumbfoundingly , mind-numbingly bad .

the character of zigzag is not sufficiently developed to support a film constructed around him .

as ` chick flicks ' go , this one is pretty miserable , resorting to string-pulling rather than legitimate character development and intelligent plotting .

it 's difficult to imagine the process that produced such a script , but here 's guessing that spray cheese and underarm noises played a crucial role .

the plot convolutions ultimately add up to nothing more than jerking the audience 's chain .

if looking for a thrilling sci-fi cinematic ride , do n't settle for this imposter .

in its best moments , resembles a bad high school production of grease , without benefit of song .

the humor is forced and heavy-handed , and occasionally simply unpleasant .

more whiny downer than corruscating commentary .

no one but a convict guilty of some truly heinous crime should have to sit through the master of disguise .

instead of hiding pinocchio from critics , miramax should have hidden it from everyone .

a sometimes tedious film .

his comedy premises are often hackneyed or just plain crude , calculated to provoke shocked laughter , without following up on a deeper level .

nothing is sacred in this gut-buster .

even on those rare occasions when the narrator stops yammering , miller 's hand often feels unsure .

a coarse and stupid gross-out .

the heavy-handed film is almost laughable as a consequence .

wince-inducing dialogue , thrift-shop costumes , prosthetic makeup by silly putty and kmart blue-light-special effects all conspire to test trekkie loyalty .

moretti 's compelling anatomy of grief and the difficult process of adapting to loss .

do not see this film .

all that 's missing is the spontaneity , originality and delight .

basically a static series of semi-improvised ( and semi-coherent ) raps between the stars .

as a rumor of angels reveals itself to be a sudsy tub of supernatural hokum , not even ms. redgrave 's noblest efforts can redeem it from hopeless sentimentality .

this is so bad .

every time you look , sweet home alabama is taking another bummer of a wrong turn .

... the film suffers from a lack of humor ( something needed to balance out the violence ) ...

fancy a real downer ?

a sequel that 's much too big for its britches .

in exactly 89 minutes , most of which passed as slowly as if i 'd been sitting naked on an igloo , formula 51 sank from quirky to jerky to utter turkey .

there 's no emotional pulse to solaris .

coughs and sputters on its own postmodern conceit .

the film contains no good jokes , no good scenes , barely a moment when carvey 's saturday night live-honed mimicry rises above the level of embarrassment .

so unremittingly awful that labeling it a dog probably constitutes cruelty to canines .

it takes a strange kind of laziness to waste the talents of robert forster , anne meara , eugene levy , and reginald veljohnson all in the same movie .

at times , the suspense is palpable , but by the end there 's a sense that the crux of the mystery hinges on a technicality that strains credulity and leaves the viewer haunted by the waste of potential .

though moonlight mile is replete with acclaimed actors and actresses and tackles a subject that 's potentially moving , the movie is too predictable and too self-conscious to reach a level of high drama .

the humor is n't as sharp , the effects not as innovative , nor the story as imaginative as in the original .

nothing in waking up in reno ever inspired me to think of its inhabitants as anything more than markers in a screenplay .

the last 20 minutes are somewhat redeeming , but most of the movie is the same teenage american road-trip drek we 've seen before - only this time you have to read the fart jokes

what was once original has been co-opted so frequently that it now seems pedestrian .

oh come on .

less dizzying than just dizzy , the jaunt is practically over before it begins .

offers very little genuine romance and even fewer laughs ... a sad sitcom of a movie , largely devoid of charm .

very special effects , brilliantly bold colors and heightened reality ca n't hide the giant achilles ' heel in `` stuart little 2 `` : there 's just no story , folks .

some of their jokes work , but most fail miserably and in the end , pumpkin is far more offensive than it is funny .

it 's inoffensive , cheerful , built to inspire the young people , set to an unending soundtrack of beach party pop numbers and aside from its remarkable camerawork and awesome scenery , it 's about as exciting as a sunburn .

by getting myself wrapped up in the visuals and eccentricities of many of the characters , i found myself confused when it came time to get to the heart of the movie .

i 've always dreamed of attending cannes , but after seeing this film , it 's not that big a deal .

has all the depth of a wading pool .

i am sorry that i was unable to get the full brunt of the comedy .

big fat waste of time .

a dumb movie with dumb characters doing dumb things and you have to be really dumb not to see where this is going .

it 's played in the most straight-faced fashion , with little humor to lighten things up .

a disappointment for those who love alternate versions of the bard , particularly ones that involve deep fryers and hamburgers .

do n't be fooled by the impressive cast list - eye see you is pure junk .

k-19 exploits our substantial collective fear of nuclear holocaust to generate cheap hollywood tension .

a science-fiction pastiche so lacking in originality that if you stripped away its inspirations there would be precious little left .

like being trapped at a perpetual frat party ... how can something so gross be so boring ?

the movie fails to live up to the sum of its parts .

a broad , melodramatic estrogen opera that 's pretty toxic in its own right .

because of an unnecessary and clumsy last scene , ` swimfan ' left me with a very bad feeling .

prurient playthings aside , there 's little to love about this english trifle .

this movie is something of an impostor itself , stretching and padding its material in a blur of dead ends and distracting camera work .

it 's hampered by a lifetime-channel kind of plot and a lead actress who is out of her depth .

the result is a gaudy bag of stale candy , something from a halloween that died .

but it could have been worse .

involves two mysteries -- one it gives away and the other featuring such badly drawn characters that its outcome hardly matters .

uncommonly stylish but equally silly ... the picture fails to generate much suspense , nor does it ask searching enough questions to justify its pretensions .

confirms the nagging suspicion that ethan hawke would be even worse behind the camera than he is in front of it .

the movie , directed by mick jackson , leaves no cliche unturned , from the predictable plot to the characters straight out of central casting .

... plays like somebody spliced random moments of a chris rock routine into what is otherwise a cliche-riddled but self-serious spy thriller .

every dance becomes about seduction , where backstabbing and betrayals are celebrated , and sex is currency .

when the film ended , i felt tired and drained and wanted to lie on my own deathbed for a while .

the man from elysian fields is a cold , bliss-less work that groans along thinking itself some important comment on how life throws us some beguiling curves .