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t3_1hxu8s | relationships | I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting | Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try.
Backstory:
When I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact.
Now: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down.
His friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid.
So I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions. | I still have contact with an old ex's friends but can't stand to see or talk to him. His friends are really nice ,so how do I tell them I possibly want to unfriend them on Facebook because of him? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting
POST: Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try.
Backstory:
When I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact.
Now: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down.
His friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid.
So I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions.
TL;DR: | I still have contact with an old ex's friends but can't stand to see or talk to him. His friends are really nice ,so how do I tell them I possibly want to unfriend them on Facebook because of him?<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting
POST: Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try.
Backstory:
When I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact.
Now: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down.
His friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid.
So I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions.
TL;DR: I still have contact with an old ex's friends but can't stand to see or talk to him. His friends are really nice ,so how do I tell them I possibly want to unfriend them on Facebook because of him?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_33lz18 | loseit | SV & NSV! Keeping on keeping on. | 30F, 5'6". SW: 236 GW: 150 CW: 219
I weigh myself weekly and measure myself monthly. I'd hit a plateau the last four weeks or so where I was stuck at 222. Felt like kind of a bummer, but knew it's because I haven't been as strict as I should with my diet, and the last week and a half have been crazy with life things, so I haven't been exercising as frequently as I've gotten used to. When I weighed myself as normal on Monday, I was kind of disappointed to see the scale not budging and figured it was time to buckle down again and really watch my diet. Today was my measure-in day, and I've felt cruddy in general since Monday because I caught some chest congestion/cold bug over the weekend. I get on the scale...it says 219. Whaaaaat? I take my measurements, which are down slightly from last month, and with an total-body loss of 8 inches from my starting point on 12/23/14! Some of my clothes have been feeling a bit looser as of late and now I know it's just not in my head. I'm now the lightest and smallest I've been since right around high school! | Progress is still happening, even when you think it might not be! Don't get discouraged, even if your journey seems to be going slowly. Don't give up, warriors. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: SV & NSV! Keeping on keeping on.
POST: 30F, 5'6". SW: 236 GW: 150 CW: 219
I weigh myself weekly and measure myself monthly. I'd hit a plateau the last four weeks or so where I was stuck at 222. Felt like kind of a bummer, but knew it's because I haven't been as strict as I should with my diet, and the last week and a half have been crazy with life things, so I haven't been exercising as frequently as I've gotten used to. When I weighed myself as normal on Monday, I was kind of disappointed to see the scale not budging and figured it was time to buckle down again and really watch my diet. Today was my measure-in day, and I've felt cruddy in general since Monday because I caught some chest congestion/cold bug over the weekend. I get on the scale...it says 219. Whaaaaat? I take my measurements, which are down slightly from last month, and with an total-body loss of 8 inches from my starting point on 12/23/14! Some of my clothes have been feeling a bit looser as of late and now I know it's just not in my head. I'm now the lightest and smallest I've been since right around high school!
TL;DR: | Progress is still happening, even when you think it might not be! Don't get discouraged, even if your journey seems to be going slowly. Don't give up, warriors.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 37 | SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: SV & NSV! Keeping on keeping on.
POST: 30F, 5'6". SW: 236 GW: 150 CW: 219
I weigh myself weekly and measure myself monthly. I'd hit a plateau the last four weeks or so where I was stuck at 222. Felt like kind of a bummer, but knew it's because I haven't been as strict as I should with my diet, and the last week and a half have been crazy with life things, so I haven't been exercising as frequently as I've gotten used to. When I weighed myself as normal on Monday, I was kind of disappointed to see the scale not budging and figured it was time to buckle down again and really watch my diet. Today was my measure-in day, and I've felt cruddy in general since Monday because I caught some chest congestion/cold bug over the weekend. I get on the scale...it says 219. Whaaaaat? I take my measurements, which are down slightly from last month, and with an total-body loss of 8 inches from my starting point on 12/23/14! Some of my clothes have been feeling a bit looser as of late and now I know it's just not in my head. I'm now the lightest and smallest I've been since right around high school!
TL;DR: Progress is still happening, even when you think it might not be! Don't get discouraged, even if your journey seems to be going slowly. Don't give up, warriors.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_38a85h | relationships | Me [19F] with my friend [19M] 10 months, Insecurities - Show or Tell? | What are your stories about insecurities you've had in past relationships? How have you dealt with them, particularly the ones that you can't hide?
I'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've realized that there is someone who likes me, and I'm interested in them, too. Frankly, the only reason I'm not asking them out is because I know that I have some insecurities that need to be worked through - particularly in the realm of body image. While I'm confident in the rest of my body, I've had terrible, awful acne both on my arms and breasts since I was very young. It's a special type with no complete cure, but doctors suggested that I keep my skin oiled until it goes away (dryness irritates it). Because of this it's not so much present anymore as large clusters of scars are.
Would I warn someone about this upfront before anything sexual? Would I just let it surprise them when the clothes come off? Do I tell them "Let's keep on my shirt for now" while we do our business?
Have you had experiences with anything similar? I want to hear how they went! | My skin is scarred badly; what could I do/say about it that would gross my future partner out the least? What's your experience with body image issues? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my friend [19M] 10 months, Insecurities - Show or Tell?
POST: What are your stories about insecurities you've had in past relationships? How have you dealt with them, particularly the ones that you can't hide?
I'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've realized that there is someone who likes me, and I'm interested in them, too. Frankly, the only reason I'm not asking them out is because I know that I have some insecurities that need to be worked through - particularly in the realm of body image. While I'm confident in the rest of my body, I've had terrible, awful acne both on my arms and breasts since I was very young. It's a special type with no complete cure, but doctors suggested that I keep my skin oiled until it goes away (dryness irritates it). Because of this it's not so much present anymore as large clusters of scars are.
Would I warn someone about this upfront before anything sexual? Would I just let it surprise them when the clothes come off? Do I tell them "Let's keep on my shirt for now" while we do our business?
Have you had experiences with anything similar? I want to hear how they went!
TL;DR: | My skin is scarred badly; what could I do/say about it that would gross my future partner out the least? What's your experience with body image issues?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 35 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my friend [19M] 10 months, Insecurities - Show or Tell?
POST: What are your stories about insecurities you've had in past relationships? How have you dealt with them, particularly the ones that you can't hide?
I'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've realized that there is someone who likes me, and I'm interested in them, too. Frankly, the only reason I'm not asking them out is because I know that I have some insecurities that need to be worked through - particularly in the realm of body image. While I'm confident in the rest of my body, I've had terrible, awful acne both on my arms and breasts since I was very young. It's a special type with no complete cure, but doctors suggested that I keep my skin oiled until it goes away (dryness irritates it). Because of this it's not so much present anymore as large clusters of scars are.
Would I warn someone about this upfront before anything sexual? Would I just let it surprise them when the clothes come off? Do I tell them "Let's keep on my shirt for now" while we do our business?
Have you had experiences with anything similar? I want to hear how they went!
TL;DR: My skin is scarred badly; what could I do/say about it that would gross my future partner out the least? What's your experience with body image issues?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2as12n | personalfinance | Prioritize student debt or saving for down payment? | I have $25k in student debt. One private loan at 9.5% (highest priority obviously) and nine others federal between 3.4% and 6.8%. Minimum payment per month total is $301.16. Over the next 9 months, I will pay off $11k of these, which will get rid of everything above 5% interest and will drop the total minimum payment to $150.
At the end of the 9 months, our savings will be around $35k. At that time my husband will need to purchase a car so some of that will be his down payment. So more realistically $25-30k.
Sometime in the future, between a year to two years from now, my husband and I may be moving. Typical single family homes in this area go for around $300k.
At the end of the 9 months, should I continue to focus on paying down student debt (which will be a balance of $14k by then) or growing our savings/down payment? I have $5200/mo to somehow split between debt and down payment and I'm not sure how best to allocate it. | $14k in student debt (all <5%) and need to save more for down payment on a ~$300k house. How to allocate $5200/mo between the two? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Prioritize student debt or saving for down payment?
POST: I have $25k in student debt. One private loan at 9.5% (highest priority obviously) and nine others federal between 3.4% and 6.8%. Minimum payment per month total is $301.16. Over the next 9 months, I will pay off $11k of these, which will get rid of everything above 5% interest and will drop the total minimum payment to $150.
At the end of the 9 months, our savings will be around $35k. At that time my husband will need to purchase a car so some of that will be his down payment. So more realistically $25-30k.
Sometime in the future, between a year to two years from now, my husband and I may be moving. Typical single family homes in this area go for around $300k.
At the end of the 9 months, should I continue to focus on paying down student debt (which will be a balance of $14k by then) or growing our savings/down payment? I have $5200/mo to somehow split between debt and down payment and I'm not sure how best to allocate it.
TL;DR: | $14k in student debt (all <5%) and need to save more for down payment on a ~$300k house. How to allocate $5200/mo between the two?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 40 | SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Prioritize student debt or saving for down payment?
POST: I have $25k in student debt. One private loan at 9.5% (highest priority obviously) and nine others federal between 3.4% and 6.8%. Minimum payment per month total is $301.16. Over the next 9 months, I will pay off $11k of these, which will get rid of everything above 5% interest and will drop the total minimum payment to $150.
At the end of the 9 months, our savings will be around $35k. At that time my husband will need to purchase a car so some of that will be his down payment. So more realistically $25-30k.
Sometime in the future, between a year to two years from now, my husband and I may be moving. Typical single family homes in this area go for around $300k.
At the end of the 9 months, should I continue to focus on paying down student debt (which will be a balance of $14k by then) or growing our savings/down payment? I have $5200/mo to somehow split between debt and down payment and I'm not sure how best to allocate it.
TL;DR: $14k in student debt (all <5%) and need to save more for down payment on a ~$300k house. How to allocate $5200/mo between the two?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2bzi1g | relationships | My[25m] girlfriend [24f] is only nice and pleasant when I'm aloof and distant. (9 months) | Throwaway
I noticed the more I'm cold and distant towards my girlfriend, the more pleasant she becomes. She'll come over and clean my apartment, do laundry, dishes and cook for me, even as far as to offer oral favors while I'm drinking a beer!
She seems completely happy and content during this time, which makes me happy and I naturally want to do things back for her. As soon as I start doing her favors, she picks fights and complains nonstop. Latest issue was I offered to take her and her mom to dinner. She kept giving me shit about how I'm going to be spending too much time with my brother (who's visiting for a week soon), which she was totally fine with when I was being distant with her. She'll call me a bitch in a joking way, and just take the piss out of me whenever I'm kind or go out of my way to apologize.
This naturally makes me feel cold and indifferent toward her. Once she senses that, she's all about making me the happiest boyfriend and apologizes for all the shit she was giving me the week previously. It's a vicious cycle but I'm not sure what to do here. I've brought this up with her and she recognizes it and has no solution. She just "feels differently towards me sometimes" and can't explain it.
**So what do I do here? Do I keep up the aloof, distant attitude to keep her interested or suffer her negging in kindness, my default setting. | GF is a meanie-bo-beanie when I'm nice, and an absolute doll when I'm uninterested. Sex is bomb and she's the hottest I've ever dated. What do? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[25m] girlfriend [24f] is only nice and pleasant when I'm aloof and distant. (9 months)
POST: Throwaway
I noticed the more I'm cold and distant towards my girlfriend, the more pleasant she becomes. She'll come over and clean my apartment, do laundry, dishes and cook for me, even as far as to offer oral favors while I'm drinking a beer!
She seems completely happy and content during this time, which makes me happy and I naturally want to do things back for her. As soon as I start doing her favors, she picks fights and complains nonstop. Latest issue was I offered to take her and her mom to dinner. She kept giving me shit about how I'm going to be spending too much time with my brother (who's visiting for a week soon), which she was totally fine with when I was being distant with her. She'll call me a bitch in a joking way, and just take the piss out of me whenever I'm kind or go out of my way to apologize.
This naturally makes me feel cold and indifferent toward her. Once she senses that, she's all about making me the happiest boyfriend and apologizes for all the shit she was giving me the week previously. It's a vicious cycle but I'm not sure what to do here. I've brought this up with her and she recognizes it and has no solution. She just "feels differently towards me sometimes" and can't explain it.
**So what do I do here? Do I keep up the aloof, distant attitude to keep her interested or suffer her negging in kindness, my default setting.
TL;DR: | GF is a meanie-bo-beanie when I'm nice, and an absolute doll when I'm uninterested. Sex is bomb and she's the hottest I've ever dated. What do?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 42 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[25m] girlfriend [24f] is only nice and pleasant when I'm aloof and distant. (9 months)
POST: Throwaway
I noticed the more I'm cold and distant towards my girlfriend, the more pleasant she becomes. She'll come over and clean my apartment, do laundry, dishes and cook for me, even as far as to offer oral favors while I'm drinking a beer!
She seems completely happy and content during this time, which makes me happy and I naturally want to do things back for her. As soon as I start doing her favors, she picks fights and complains nonstop. Latest issue was I offered to take her and her mom to dinner. She kept giving me shit about how I'm going to be spending too much time with my brother (who's visiting for a week soon), which she was totally fine with when I was being distant with her. She'll call me a bitch in a joking way, and just take the piss out of me whenever I'm kind or go out of my way to apologize.
This naturally makes me feel cold and indifferent toward her. Once she senses that, she's all about making me the happiest boyfriend and apologizes for all the shit she was giving me the week previously. It's a vicious cycle but I'm not sure what to do here. I've brought this up with her and she recognizes it and has no solution. She just "feels differently towards me sometimes" and can't explain it.
**So what do I do here? Do I keep up the aloof, distant attitude to keep her interested or suffer her negging in kindness, my default setting.
TL;DR: GF is a meanie-bo-beanie when I'm nice, and an absolute doll when I'm uninterested. Sex is bomb and she's the hottest I've ever dated. What do?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 410 |
t3_552pxf | relationships | Me 28 F with guy I'm dating 30 M - 1 month, Is it okay to ask if everything is okay or am I being pushy? | I have been dating this guy for 1 month now and everything was great until last Sunday when I noticed he wasn't responding to my text with the same flirty, cute, enthusiastic text that he usually would. He used to call me baby, babe but since last Sunday he has said none of those words and texting has been less and communication has been less.
He invited me over last night to watch a movie so I went over and I think we had one conversation the whole night, it was how my day was. He never even tried to start a conversation after the movie and he has never asked if he could get high in front of me until today which I was totally fine with but I thought it was weird that the whole time we hung out before he never smoked in front of me. I am not sure if he's getting comfortable or he just doesn't care anymore?
Anyways, as he was walking me out to my car I asked him if everything was okay because he has been acting different. His only response was, "Yes, I'm fine" and then it got awkward and I left in my car.
Do you think I am being pushy or too clingy asking that question? I regret asking it right after I asked it because it makes me feel like I have low self-esteem for this relationship. Maybe I just worry too much but it has been eating at me. | I asked guy I have been dating for a month if everything was okay and now I regret it because I think it makes me look pushy /clingy. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 28 F with guy I'm dating 30 M - 1 month, Is it okay to ask if everything is okay or am I being pushy?
POST: I have been dating this guy for 1 month now and everything was great until last Sunday when I noticed he wasn't responding to my text with the same flirty, cute, enthusiastic text that he usually would. He used to call me baby, babe but since last Sunday he has said none of those words and texting has been less and communication has been less.
He invited me over last night to watch a movie so I went over and I think we had one conversation the whole night, it was how my day was. He never even tried to start a conversation after the movie and he has never asked if he could get high in front of me until today which I was totally fine with but I thought it was weird that the whole time we hung out before he never smoked in front of me. I am not sure if he's getting comfortable or he just doesn't care anymore?
Anyways, as he was walking me out to my car I asked him if everything was okay because he has been acting different. His only response was, "Yes, I'm fine" and then it got awkward and I left in my car.
Do you think I am being pushy or too clingy asking that question? I regret asking it right after I asked it because it makes me feel like I have low self-esteem for this relationship. Maybe I just worry too much but it has been eating at me.
TL;DR: | I asked guy I have been dating for a month if everything was okay and now I regret it because I think it makes me look pushy /clingy.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 33 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 28 F with guy I'm dating 30 M - 1 month, Is it okay to ask if everything is okay or am I being pushy?
POST: I have been dating this guy for 1 month now and everything was great until last Sunday when I noticed he wasn't responding to my text with the same flirty, cute, enthusiastic text that he usually would. He used to call me baby, babe but since last Sunday he has said none of those words and texting has been less and communication has been less.
He invited me over last night to watch a movie so I went over and I think we had one conversation the whole night, it was how my day was. He never even tried to start a conversation after the movie and he has never asked if he could get high in front of me until today which I was totally fine with but I thought it was weird that the whole time we hung out before he never smoked in front of me. I am not sure if he's getting comfortable or he just doesn't care anymore?
Anyways, as he was walking me out to my car I asked him if everything was okay because he has been acting different. His only response was, "Yes, I'm fine" and then it got awkward and I left in my car.
Do you think I am being pushy or too clingy asking that question? I regret asking it right after I asked it because it makes me feel like I have low self-esteem for this relationship. Maybe I just worry too much but it has been eating at me.
TL;DR: I asked guy I have been dating for a month if everything was okay and now I regret it because I think it makes me look pushy /clingy.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 377 |
t3_fss6j | relationships | Is it weird that this turned me off from my gf? | The other day my girlfriend(23 years old) and myself(22 years old) were talking and she revealed to me that she almost didn't date me because I was too short (5'7"-5'8"). She is only about 5'5". Now she loves me a lot and thinks I am the best thing to ever happen to her but for some reason, learning about this, really turned me off. I have never associated height with anything other than how tall is someone, but apparently people associate height with strength, power, attractiveness and other stuff that has nothing to do with height. Is it bad of me to want to break up with her for this shallow view?
I know its kinda shallow of me but I am extremely turned off by this. | Gf said she almost didn't date me because I was too short. Now I am really turned off by her. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it weird that this turned me off from my gf?
POST: The other day my girlfriend(23 years old) and myself(22 years old) were talking and she revealed to me that she almost didn't date me because I was too short (5'7"-5'8"). She is only about 5'5". Now she loves me a lot and thinks I am the best thing to ever happen to her but for some reason, learning about this, really turned me off. I have never associated height with anything other than how tall is someone, but apparently people associate height with strength, power, attractiveness and other stuff that has nothing to do with height. Is it bad of me to want to break up with her for this shallow view?
I know its kinda shallow of me but I am extremely turned off by this.
TL;DR: | Gf said she almost didn't date me because I was too short. Now I am really turned off by her.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 26 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it weird that this turned me off from my gf?
POST: The other day my girlfriend(23 years old) and myself(22 years old) were talking and she revealed to me that she almost didn't date me because I was too short (5'7"-5'8"). She is only about 5'5". Now she loves me a lot and thinks I am the best thing to ever happen to her but for some reason, learning about this, really turned me off. I have never associated height with anything other than how tall is someone, but apparently people associate height with strength, power, attractiveness and other stuff that has nothing to do with height. Is it bad of me to want to break up with her for this shallow view?
I know its kinda shallow of me but I am extremely turned off by this.
TL;DR: Gf said she almost didn't date me because I was too short. Now I am really turned off by her.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_3mcrjk | relationships | I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen) | Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal.
When I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc.
It's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole? | Had a big-ass ovarian cyst; scared that I'm irreparably broken; hormonal shitstorm ensues; worried I'm going to alienate my boyfriend with my behavior. | [
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TITLE: I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen)
POST: Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal.
When I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc.
It's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole?
TL;DR: | Had a big-ass ovarian cyst; scared that I'm irreparably broken; hormonal shitstorm ensues; worried I'm going to alienate my boyfriend with my behavior.<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen)
POST: Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal.
When I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc.
It's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole?
TL;DR: Had a big-ass ovarian cyst; scared that I'm irreparably broken; hormonal shitstorm ensues; worried I'm going to alienate my boyfriend with my behavior.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_38mtrj | relationships | Advice givers of this subreddit please help me (18m) out. Please and thank you:) | So recently I listened to the song Feel Again by OneRepublic. GREAT SONG. But it got me thinking: "is my heart numb? Am I a lonely soul?" All my friends tell me I am basically Ted Mosby (for those of u who are himym fans...) but I have seriously never been in a relationship and have always been friendzoned which is fine ya get used to it. But I have a couple girl friends (note the space) and theyre each awesome and I don't want to feel like I am choosing I just want to be head over heels for one. What do I do?! It is the summer before college and while I know it is a mistake to try to be in anything serious before college I feel like its one of those things where you just gotta take the leap. Can anyone help me here? I am sorry for making you read so much... | I think I might like two girls at once. Don't want to; just want to be head over heels for one. Do I do anything before college? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice givers of this subreddit please help me (18m) out. Please and thank you:)
POST: So recently I listened to the song Feel Again by OneRepublic. GREAT SONG. But it got me thinking: "is my heart numb? Am I a lonely soul?" All my friends tell me I am basically Ted Mosby (for those of u who are himym fans...) but I have seriously never been in a relationship and have always been friendzoned which is fine ya get used to it. But I have a couple girl friends (note the space) and theyre each awesome and I don't want to feel like I am choosing I just want to be head over heels for one. What do I do?! It is the summer before college and while I know it is a mistake to try to be in anything serious before college I feel like its one of those things where you just gotta take the leap. Can anyone help me here? I am sorry for making you read so much...
TL;DR: | I think I might like two girls at once. Don't want to; just want to be head over heels for one. Do I do anything before college?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 33 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice givers of this subreddit please help me (18m) out. Please and thank you:)
POST: So recently I listened to the song Feel Again by OneRepublic. GREAT SONG. But it got me thinking: "is my heart numb? Am I a lonely soul?" All my friends tell me I am basically Ted Mosby (for those of u who are himym fans...) but I have seriously never been in a relationship and have always been friendzoned which is fine ya get used to it. But I have a couple girl friends (note the space) and theyre each awesome and I don't want to feel like I am choosing I just want to be head over heels for one. What do I do?! It is the summer before college and while I know it is a mistake to try to be in anything serious before college I feel like its one of those things where you just gotta take the leap. Can anyone help me here? I am sorry for making you read so much...
TL;DR: I think I might like two girls at once. Don't want to; just want to be head over heels for one. Do I do anything before college?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_4gbnkb | relationships | Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive | My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible.
Although, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week.
I'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs.
I've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my "tone" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now.
I want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy. | how do I deny sex with my boyfriend of 2.5 years without him feeling like I don't want to please him? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive
POST: My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible.
Although, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week.
I'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs.
I've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my "tone" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now.
I want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy.
TL;DR: | how do I deny sex with my boyfriend of 2.5 years without him feeling like I don't want to please him?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 26 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive
POST: My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible.
Although, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week.
I'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs.
I've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my "tone" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now.
I want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy.
TL;DR: how do I deny sex with my boyfriend of 2.5 years without him feeling like I don't want to please him?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_1e42z5 | offmychest | I'm just really tired right now... | I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point.
I am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out. | I'm worried about moving out of parent's house and into an apartment with a boyfriend who doesn't really seemed worried at all. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm just really tired right now...
POST: I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point.
I am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out.
TL;DR: | I'm worried about moving out of parent's house and into an apartment with a boyfriend who doesn't really seemed worried at all.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 27 | SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm just really tired right now...
POST: I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point.
I am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out.
TL;DR: I'm worried about moving out of parent's house and into an apartment with a boyfriend who doesn't really seemed worried at all.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_12n77s | relationship_advice | How to deal with questioning everything? | 23/f here and SO is 26/m. Together for 1.5 yrs and living together for 5 months.
My sister just recently got married and I can't tell if the thoughts I am having are because I'm imaging their relationship to be something it isn't or if I'm in a LTR with someone that is really not suited for me in the long term.
Their relationship is a seeming fairytale: they met, moved in together in a house he already owned, everything is neat and organized, they have a beautiful dog, great friends and love each other deeply. Her husband is very dependable and sweet.
This is not to say my relationship is horrible. My boyfriend is loving, kind and has always been there for me. We have disappeared into our relationship though - we don't really have a friend group. Both of us are at miserable minimum wage jobs trying to fund a move out of the town we went to school in. He's only interested in moving certain places but really doesn't have a plan for the future. He's never missed a bill payment or anything - but our life is not stable financially. I'm currently attempting to go back to school/send out resumes.
Sometimes I think I can marry him. He is amazing but does have a serious flaw when it comes to drinking. I've had to give him an ultimatum if he comes back home drunk and angry for the final time - it's over. I can't raise children with someone like that. So far he's been fine, no slip ups..but I constantly worry about him and I hate that.
So I was sitting there looking at my sister and couldn't help but think - should I aim for that kind of relationship? Am I over-thinking mine? If he purposes (as he's hinted), would I regret saying yes? Am I still just naive and thinking that not everyone has issues and really ours aren't that bad?
I feel bad for having these thoughts, but at the same time I don't know what to do about them. I know my life is in a transitional phase and maybe I'm yearning for some stability..but I just don't know what to do? | Witnessing a different kind of relationship is making me question mine. I don't know whether this is all in my head or I'm onto something | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to deal with questioning everything?
POST: 23/f here and SO is 26/m. Together for 1.5 yrs and living together for 5 months.
My sister just recently got married and I can't tell if the thoughts I am having are because I'm imaging their relationship to be something it isn't or if I'm in a LTR with someone that is really not suited for me in the long term.
Their relationship is a seeming fairytale: they met, moved in together in a house he already owned, everything is neat and organized, they have a beautiful dog, great friends and love each other deeply. Her husband is very dependable and sweet.
This is not to say my relationship is horrible. My boyfriend is loving, kind and has always been there for me. We have disappeared into our relationship though - we don't really have a friend group. Both of us are at miserable minimum wage jobs trying to fund a move out of the town we went to school in. He's only interested in moving certain places but really doesn't have a plan for the future. He's never missed a bill payment or anything - but our life is not stable financially. I'm currently attempting to go back to school/send out resumes.
Sometimes I think I can marry him. He is amazing but does have a serious flaw when it comes to drinking. I've had to give him an ultimatum if he comes back home drunk and angry for the final time - it's over. I can't raise children with someone like that. So far he's been fine, no slip ups..but I constantly worry about him and I hate that.
So I was sitting there looking at my sister and couldn't help but think - should I aim for that kind of relationship? Am I over-thinking mine? If he purposes (as he's hinted), would I regret saying yes? Am I still just naive and thinking that not everyone has issues and really ours aren't that bad?
I feel bad for having these thoughts, but at the same time I don't know what to do about them. I know my life is in a transitional phase and maybe I'm yearning for some stability..but I just don't know what to do?
TL;DR: | Witnessing a different kind of relationship is making me question mine. I don't know whether this is all in my head or I'm onto something<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 30 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to deal with questioning everything?
POST: 23/f here and SO is 26/m. Together for 1.5 yrs and living together for 5 months.
My sister just recently got married and I can't tell if the thoughts I am having are because I'm imaging their relationship to be something it isn't or if I'm in a LTR with someone that is really not suited for me in the long term.
Their relationship is a seeming fairytale: they met, moved in together in a house he already owned, everything is neat and organized, they have a beautiful dog, great friends and love each other deeply. Her husband is very dependable and sweet.
This is not to say my relationship is horrible. My boyfriend is loving, kind and has always been there for me. We have disappeared into our relationship though - we don't really have a friend group. Both of us are at miserable minimum wage jobs trying to fund a move out of the town we went to school in. He's only interested in moving certain places but really doesn't have a plan for the future. He's never missed a bill payment or anything - but our life is not stable financially. I'm currently attempting to go back to school/send out resumes.
Sometimes I think I can marry him. He is amazing but does have a serious flaw when it comes to drinking. I've had to give him an ultimatum if he comes back home drunk and angry for the final time - it's over. I can't raise children with someone like that. So far he's been fine, no slip ups..but I constantly worry about him and I hate that.
So I was sitting there looking at my sister and couldn't help but think - should I aim for that kind of relationship? Am I over-thinking mine? If he purposes (as he's hinted), would I regret saying yes? Am I still just naive and thinking that not everyone has issues and really ours aren't that bad?
I feel bad for having these thoughts, but at the same time I don't know what to do about them. I know my life is in a transitional phase and maybe I'm yearning for some stability..but I just don't know what to do?
TL;DR: Witnessing a different kind of relationship is making me question mine. I don't know whether this is all in my head or I'm onto something<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_29gdvm | relationships | Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome. | So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together.
And I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it? | I've found myself attracted to a man who is not my boyfriend. I can't quit my job, so how can I overcome these feelings? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome.
POST: So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together.
And I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it?
TL;DR: | I've found myself attracted to a man who is not my boyfriend. I can't quit my job, so how can I overcome these feelings?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 30 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome.
POST: So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together.
And I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it?
TL;DR: I've found myself attracted to a man who is not my boyfriend. I can't quit my job, so how can I overcome these feelings?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2pzfya | relationships | Me [21M] with my GF [19F] of 2,5 years. She wants to pay me for helping her with her accounting studies, but I don't want her to | Hello fellow redditors,
we've been together for 2,5 years and everything is more than perfect :)
She is sitting here with me and we will both provide our perspectives.
We are enrolled in a similar business administration program, but at different universities and I'm one year ahead. She is struggling right now with her accounting class in which I was pretty good at. She asked me if I could give her tutoring lessons before her exam and obviously I agreed. It would come down to approx. 8-10 hours, which I'm perfectly fine with.
My (21M) perspective:
Here's the issue: she wants to pay me. I told her that I don't need to be paid and that I'd do it for free since relationships are also about helping each other. Plus, I enjoy it when I can help her with anything since we're spending time together and she's feeling better about the subject, which makes me feel good. She wants to pay me about 10$/hour which is a ridiculous amount of money for this small favor.
Her perspective:
In my opinion he will put more effort in to it when knowing that he get's something from it. I would like to keep it in a professional way so it's effective at the end. I feel like it's a win-win situation for both of us since I would pay way more for a stranger giving me tutoring lessons and he can use the money to have fun. Knowing myself, the whole thing won't be that relaxed and I want to give him something for bearing the situation ;). And the end I'd feel bad if he spends so much time studying with me if he could spend the time doing something else. Also I can't give him anything like this in return since he's a year ahead and won't have any questions I can answer.
We both know that this is not a real problem, we just want some insight of you guys.
Thanks in advance! :) | My GF wants to pay for helping her with her accounting class, but I don't want to get paid since I think that something like this should be expected in a relationship. Both perspectives are provided in the post. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my GF [19F] of 2,5 years. She wants to pay me for helping her with her accounting studies, but I don't want her to
POST: Hello fellow redditors,
we've been together for 2,5 years and everything is more than perfect :)
She is sitting here with me and we will both provide our perspectives.
We are enrolled in a similar business administration program, but at different universities and I'm one year ahead. She is struggling right now with her accounting class in which I was pretty good at. She asked me if I could give her tutoring lessons before her exam and obviously I agreed. It would come down to approx. 8-10 hours, which I'm perfectly fine with.
My (21M) perspective:
Here's the issue: she wants to pay me. I told her that I don't need to be paid and that I'd do it for free since relationships are also about helping each other. Plus, I enjoy it when I can help her with anything since we're spending time together and she's feeling better about the subject, which makes me feel good. She wants to pay me about 10$/hour which is a ridiculous amount of money for this small favor.
Her perspective:
In my opinion he will put more effort in to it when knowing that he get's something from it. I would like to keep it in a professional way so it's effective at the end. I feel like it's a win-win situation for both of us since I would pay way more for a stranger giving me tutoring lessons and he can use the money to have fun. Knowing myself, the whole thing won't be that relaxed and I want to give him something for bearing the situation ;). And the end I'd feel bad if he spends so much time studying with me if he could spend the time doing something else. Also I can't give him anything like this in return since he's a year ahead and won't have any questions I can answer.
We both know that this is not a real problem, we just want some insight of you guys.
Thanks in advance! :)
TL;DR: | My GF wants to pay for helping her with her accounting class, but I don't want to get paid since I think that something like this should be expected in a relationship. Both perspectives are provided in the post.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 44 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my GF [19F] of 2,5 years. She wants to pay me for helping her with her accounting studies, but I don't want her to
POST: Hello fellow redditors,
we've been together for 2,5 years and everything is more than perfect :)
She is sitting here with me and we will both provide our perspectives.
We are enrolled in a similar business administration program, but at different universities and I'm one year ahead. She is struggling right now with her accounting class in which I was pretty good at. She asked me if I could give her tutoring lessons before her exam and obviously I agreed. It would come down to approx. 8-10 hours, which I'm perfectly fine with.
My (21M) perspective:
Here's the issue: she wants to pay me. I told her that I don't need to be paid and that I'd do it for free since relationships are also about helping each other. Plus, I enjoy it when I can help her with anything since we're spending time together and she's feeling better about the subject, which makes me feel good. She wants to pay me about 10$/hour which is a ridiculous amount of money for this small favor.
Her perspective:
In my opinion he will put more effort in to it when knowing that he get's something from it. I would like to keep it in a professional way so it's effective at the end. I feel like it's a win-win situation for both of us since I would pay way more for a stranger giving me tutoring lessons and he can use the money to have fun. Knowing myself, the whole thing won't be that relaxed and I want to give him something for bearing the situation ;). And the end I'd feel bad if he spends so much time studying with me if he could spend the time doing something else. Also I can't give him anything like this in return since he's a year ahead and won't have any questions I can answer.
We both know that this is not a real problem, we just want some insight of you guys.
Thanks in advance! :)
TL;DR: My GF wants to pay for helping her with her accounting class, but I don't want to get paid since I think that something like this should be expected in a relationship. Both perspectives are provided in the post.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 517 |
t3_q3sop | dating_advice | I think I'm trapped in nasty triangle and don't know how to proceed, some advice would be really appreciated. | I (male, 19) met this girl at collge (19 too) a couple of months ago. At the moment I met her, nothing really special happened between us happened, we just chatted a bit and left as early friends.
Then, I entered college (the same where she studies) and we started to connect faster; we have a lot in common, we're both interested in culture and knowledge, and we often tend to play around and have a good time together.
Then I found out that a friend of mine (let's call him A) has liked her since before I knew her, about 8 months or so ago. She didn't liked him back, and supposedly they settled as friends. However, it seems that he is still trying something, and whenever I try to be playful with her he seems very uncomfortable about it.
Also, I've been supsecting that she likes another friend of mine; but I'm not certain of that.
What should I do? I would love to move forward with this girl, but I don't want to hurt any of my friends or her, in any case. | I like this girl. A friend of mine likes this girl. This girl doesn't likes him back. This girl might like another friend, although I'm not sure of that. How do I proceed? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I think I'm trapped in nasty triangle and don't know how to proceed, some advice would be really appreciated.
POST: I (male, 19) met this girl at collge (19 too) a couple of months ago. At the moment I met her, nothing really special happened between us happened, we just chatted a bit and left as early friends.
Then, I entered college (the same where she studies) and we started to connect faster; we have a lot in common, we're both interested in culture and knowledge, and we often tend to play around and have a good time together.
Then I found out that a friend of mine (let's call him A) has liked her since before I knew her, about 8 months or so ago. She didn't liked him back, and supposedly they settled as friends. However, it seems that he is still trying something, and whenever I try to be playful with her he seems very uncomfortable about it.
Also, I've been supsecting that she likes another friend of mine; but I'm not certain of that.
What should I do? I would love to move forward with this girl, but I don't want to hurt any of my friends or her, in any case.
TL;DR: | I like this girl. A friend of mine likes this girl. This girl doesn't likes him back. This girl might like another friend, although I'm not sure of that. How do I proceed?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 42 | SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I think I'm trapped in nasty triangle and don't know how to proceed, some advice would be really appreciated.
POST: I (male, 19) met this girl at collge (19 too) a couple of months ago. At the moment I met her, nothing really special happened between us happened, we just chatted a bit and left as early friends.
Then, I entered college (the same where she studies) and we started to connect faster; we have a lot in common, we're both interested in culture and knowledge, and we often tend to play around and have a good time together.
Then I found out that a friend of mine (let's call him A) has liked her since before I knew her, about 8 months or so ago. She didn't liked him back, and supposedly they settled as friends. However, it seems that he is still trying something, and whenever I try to be playful with her he seems very uncomfortable about it.
Also, I've been supsecting that she likes another friend of mine; but I'm not certain of that.
What should I do? I would love to move forward with this girl, but I don't want to hurt any of my friends or her, in any case.
TL;DR: I like this girl. A friend of mine likes this girl. This girl doesn't likes him back. This girl might like another friend, although I'm not sure of that. How do I proceed?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_506j75 | relationships | I [M20] met a girl [F20] who i really like while backpacking europe and i dont know what to do. | I met her initially in berlin, where I only got to spend a day with her. I instantly knew there was something between us, I didnt know what but we just clicked strait away. I would have stayed there longer just to be with her if I could have.
I met with her again a few months later In london. We spent another 3 days together and I learned we have so much in common. Like a creepy amount in common. Almost all the same interests and hobbies. We had an amazing night out that ended with us sharing a bed and the next day we just spent time together talking.
We've arranged to spend another 10 days together next week, just the 2 of us, and I've never been more excited for anything in my life. I havnt been able to stop thinking about her since we last seperated.
Were both not the most experienced with relationships (mostly me) so I'm finding it hard to tell her how I feel. But I'm sure I'll find a way next time we meet.
I don't even know why Im posting this. Just to help me think I guess. | Met a girl while traveling, trying to figure out a way we can spend more time together and how to tell her how I feel. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M20] met a girl [F20] who i really like while backpacking europe and i dont know what to do.
POST: I met her initially in berlin, where I only got to spend a day with her. I instantly knew there was something between us, I didnt know what but we just clicked strait away. I would have stayed there longer just to be with her if I could have.
I met with her again a few months later In london. We spent another 3 days together and I learned we have so much in common. Like a creepy amount in common. Almost all the same interests and hobbies. We had an amazing night out that ended with us sharing a bed and the next day we just spent time together talking.
We've arranged to spend another 10 days together next week, just the 2 of us, and I've never been more excited for anything in my life. I havnt been able to stop thinking about her since we last seperated.
Were both not the most experienced with relationships (mostly me) so I'm finding it hard to tell her how I feel. But I'm sure I'll find a way next time we meet.
I don't even know why Im posting this. Just to help me think I guess.
TL;DR: | Met a girl while traveling, trying to figure out a way we can spend more time together and how to tell her how I feel.<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: I [M20] met a girl [F20] who i really like while backpacking europe and i dont know what to do.
POST: I met her initially in berlin, where I only got to spend a day with her. I instantly knew there was something between us, I didnt know what but we just clicked strait away. I would have stayed there longer just to be with her if I could have.
I met with her again a few months later In london. We spent another 3 days together and I learned we have so much in common. Like a creepy amount in common. Almost all the same interests and hobbies. We had an amazing night out that ended with us sharing a bed and the next day we just spent time together talking.
We've arranged to spend another 10 days together next week, just the 2 of us, and I've never been more excited for anything in my life. I havnt been able to stop thinking about her since we last seperated.
Were both not the most experienced with relationships (mostly me) so I'm finding it hard to tell her how I feel. But I'm sure I'll find a way next time we meet.
I don't even know why Im posting this. Just to help me think I guess.
TL;DR: Met a girl while traveling, trying to figure out a way we can spend more time together and how to tell her how I feel.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_4q1ipr | dogs | [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup | I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus ("Rome" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.
He isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy "look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite).
Dogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner
Then, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say "no dogs allowed" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day. | HOW do I introduce new people? HOW do I introduce new dogs? WHAT do I do about 4th of July?? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup
POST: I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus ("Rome" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.
He isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy "look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite).
Dogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner
Then, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say "no dogs allowed" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day.
TL;DR: | HOW do I introduce new people? HOW do I introduce new dogs? WHAT do I do about 4th of July??<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup
POST: I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus ("Rome" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.
He isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy "look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite).
Dogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner
Then, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say "no dogs allowed" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day.
TL;DR: HOW do I introduce new people? HOW do I introduce new dogs? WHAT do I do about 4th of July??<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_3uf4g1 | relationships | I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do? | I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke.
It was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left).
I ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said "She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said.
The whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless. | Saw a friend had self-harm scars and want to know what I can do to help, or at least make her feel more comfortable. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do?
POST: I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke.
It was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left).
I ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said "She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said.
The whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless.
TL;DR: | Saw a friend had self-harm scars and want to know what I can do to help, or at least make her feel more comfortable.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 29 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do?
POST: I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke.
It was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left).
I ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said "She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said.
The whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless.
TL;DR: Saw a friend had self-harm scars and want to know what I can do to help, or at least make her feel more comfortable.<|endoftext|> | [
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End of preview. Expand
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TL;DR SFT Dataset for OpenAI's Summarize from Feedback task
The dataset is directly taken from https://github.com/openai/summarize-from-feedback/tree/700967448d10004279f138666442bf1497d0e705#reddit-tldr-dataset
These columns are taken directly from the aforementioned dataset:
- id: unique identifier for the post
- subreddit: subreddit the post was taken from
- title: title of the post
- post: body of the post
- summary: summary of the post
- reference_response: reference response for the post
These columns are added by this preprocessing script:
- query: length-limited query for summarization: OAI pre-processes the main text (title + subreddit + post), ensuring it has only 512 tokens; if the main text is too long, then it tries to truncate at the last
[PAD]
token (see Args below). - query_token: tokenized version of
query
- reference_response_token: tokenized version of
reference_response
- reference_response_token_len: length of
reference_response_token
- query_reference_response: concatenation of
query.strip()
andreference_response
- query_reference_response_token: tokenized version of
query_reference_response
, up tomax_sft_query_response_length
tokens - query_reference_response_token_len: length of
query_reference_response_token
Args
{'base_model': 'EleutherAI/pythia-1b-deduped',
'check_length_correctness': False,
'cnndm_params': TaskQueryHParams(length=1919,
format_str='Article:\n{article}\n\nTL;DR:\n',
truncate_field='article',
truncate_text='\n',
padding=[50277],
pad_side='left',
max_sft_response_length=None,
max_sft_query_response_length=None,
max_rm_response_length=155,
max_rm_query_response_length=2021),
'hf_entity': 'cleanrl',
'push_to_hub': True,
'tldr_params': TaskQueryHParams(length=512,
format_str='SUBREDDIT: r/{subreddit}\n'
'\n'
'TITLE: {title}\n'
'\n'
'POST: {post}\n'
'\n'
'TL;DR:',
truncate_field='post',
truncate_text='\n',
padding=[50277],
pad_side='left',
max_sft_response_length=53,
max_sft_query_response_length=562,
max_rm_response_length=169,
max_rm_query_response_length=638)}
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