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t3_4gfhso | relationships | Me [13 M] and my crush [12 F]. How do I ask her to the upcoming school dance? | Hey r/relationships! So this past Thursday my seventh grade class went on a school trip to Boston, and during this trip my crush ended up breaking up with her eighth grader boyfriend, I'll refer to him as Ian. Now I moved to this school this past year and Ian was my first friend, and what he ended up doing was dating my crush, Lily, so what happened on Thursday night is, according to Lily's friend, he sent her a picture of a pornstar in a quite revealing outfit, with a crude message something along the lines of "if you wear this I'll f*** you". She immediately broke up with him and things were quite awkward between them today as this was the first school day back. Now I've had a crush on Lily all year, but I found out Ian was dating her so I waited. Now she's free and seems to be over him, and is acting quite nice to me, which is very odd. Now the school dance is approaching in May, so I was curious if I should ask her, how, and when?
If I left anything out feel free to ask! | Crush broke up with boyfriend through a series of strange events, should I ask her to the dance? If so, how and when? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [13 M] and my crush [12 F]. How do I ask her to the upcoming school dance?
POST: Hey r/relationships! So this past Thursday my seventh grade class went on a school trip to Boston, and during this trip my crush ended up breaking up with her eighth grader boyfriend, I'll refer to him as Ian. Now I moved to this school this past year and Ian was my first friend, and what he ended up doing was dating my crush, Lily, so what happened on Thursday night is, according to Lily's friend, he sent her a picture of a pornstar in a quite revealing outfit, with a crude message something along the lines of "if you wear this I'll f*** you". She immediately broke up with him and things were quite awkward between them today as this was the first school day back. Now I've had a crush on Lily all year, but I found out Ian was dating her so I waited. Now she's free and seems to be over him, and is acting quite nice to me, which is very odd. Now the school dance is approaching in May, so I was curious if I should ask her, how, and when?
If I left anything out feel free to ask!
TL;DR: | Crush broke up with boyfriend through a series of strange events, should I ask her to the dance? If so, how and when?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 29 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [13 M] and my crush [12 F]. How do I ask her to the upcoming school dance?
POST: Hey r/relationships! So this past Thursday my seventh grade class went on a school trip to Boston, and during this trip my crush ended up breaking up with her eighth grader boyfriend, I'll refer to him as Ian. Now I moved to this school this past year and Ian was my first friend, and what he ended up doing was dating my crush, Lily, so what happened on Thursday night is, according to Lily's friend, he sent her a picture of a pornstar in a quite revealing outfit, with a crude message something along the lines of "if you wear this I'll f*** you". She immediately broke up with him and things were quite awkward between them today as this was the first school day back. Now I've had a crush on Lily all year, but I found out Ian was dating her so I waited. Now she's free and seems to be over him, and is acting quite nice to me, which is very odd. Now the school dance is approaching in May, so I was curious if I should ask her, how, and when?
If I left anything out feel free to ask!
TL;DR: Crush broke up with boyfriend through a series of strange events, should I ask her to the dance? If so, how and when?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_12dtmq | AskReddit | Reddit, I want to start living independently and I don't think I can afford to. How does one live on a very little amount of money? | I'm 20. I'm still living at home and going full-time to college. I just landed an adorable little food industry job making 7.75 an hour. My first weekly paycheck will be $115. Weekly I have to take out $20 for gas, put $15 in a savings account, and set aside $25 for my mother. This leaves me with a measly $90 a week. Monthly I am lucky enough to only have to pay my phone bill and for my car insurance which total $105. I want to be able to afford an apartment in the not-so-distant future in a larger city than the one I'm currently in. I don't know if this is possible.
The town I'm in right now is so small that there are hardly any jobs available for a 20 year old female with no real marketable skills. I point out the fact that I'm female because I would totally work construction if they would allow women, and they don't, I've checked.
My point is that I just need some advice on how the hell I'm supposed to make it out here. Both my mother and my sister are seriously ill and it's been a struggle to start trying to become independent of helping family first. It sounds bad, but this is the first time I've been able to start planning my own future instead of trying to think of how I'm going to take care of my family. I'm totally lost. What can I do? | Need to start planning for future while going full-time to college and working a measly job. Job availability is extremely low. I have no marketable skills. Advice? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I want to start living independently and I don't think I can afford to. How does one live on a very little amount of money?
POST: I'm 20. I'm still living at home and going full-time to college. I just landed an adorable little food industry job making 7.75 an hour. My first weekly paycheck will be $115. Weekly I have to take out $20 for gas, put $15 in a savings account, and set aside $25 for my mother. This leaves me with a measly $90 a week. Monthly I am lucky enough to only have to pay my phone bill and for my car insurance which total $105. I want to be able to afford an apartment in the not-so-distant future in a larger city than the one I'm currently in. I don't know if this is possible.
The town I'm in right now is so small that there are hardly any jobs available for a 20 year old female with no real marketable skills. I point out the fact that I'm female because I would totally work construction if they would allow women, and they don't, I've checked.
My point is that I just need some advice on how the hell I'm supposed to make it out here. Both my mother and my sister are seriously ill and it's been a struggle to start trying to become independent of helping family first. It sounds bad, but this is the first time I've been able to start planning my own future instead of trying to think of how I'm going to take care of my family. I'm totally lost. What can I do?
TL;DR: | Need to start planning for future while going full-time to college and working a measly job. Job availability is extremely low. I have no marketable skills. Advice?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 37 | SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I want to start living independently and I don't think I can afford to. How does one live on a very little amount of money?
POST: I'm 20. I'm still living at home and going full-time to college. I just landed an adorable little food industry job making 7.75 an hour. My first weekly paycheck will be $115. Weekly I have to take out $20 for gas, put $15 in a savings account, and set aside $25 for my mother. This leaves me with a measly $90 a week. Monthly I am lucky enough to only have to pay my phone bill and for my car insurance which total $105. I want to be able to afford an apartment in the not-so-distant future in a larger city than the one I'm currently in. I don't know if this is possible.
The town I'm in right now is so small that there are hardly any jobs available for a 20 year old female with no real marketable skills. I point out the fact that I'm female because I would totally work construction if they would allow women, and they don't, I've checked.
My point is that I just need some advice on how the hell I'm supposed to make it out here. Both my mother and my sister are seriously ill and it's been a struggle to start trying to become independent of helping family first. It sounds bad, but this is the first time I've been able to start planning my own future instead of trying to think of how I'm going to take care of my family. I'm totally lost. What can I do?
TL;DR: Need to start planning for future while going full-time to college and working a measly job. Job availability is extremely low. I have no marketable skills. Advice?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_3pmyd3 | relationships | Me [20M] with my Friend [20F] giving me mixed signals? | So for the past two months this girl that i became friends with has been driving me crazy! Whenever we talk/hangout we always have a blast. Our conversations cover a wide range of topics and both of us are so excited with what we have to say to each other that we interrupt each other mid-sentence frequently. Everything she says and everything i say is very in depth, and we love to analyze people and the way they act like they do.
We usually spend an hour or so after class talking in the parking lot (Even when its freezing and we are shaking). But its a different story when we are in class. The other day (and this has happened before recently) she comes into class and sits in front of me but proceeds to not even make eye contact or talk to me throughout almost the entirety of class. Which makes me comb my mind thinking of anything i might have done or said to have upset her. Yes, its obvious that i have feelings for her, but i also highly value our friendship and i would really hate to mess it up by being impulsive and misinterpreting signals.
But then the second we walk out of class it's like everything else is exactly as it was, and we have a blast. Could this be her telling me to keep my distance (i am the only one she does this to in class, she has no problem talking to anyone else around her)?
Should i be direct and just ask her whats up? Or should i just ignore it and continue on like its nothing? | Friend and i have an amazing time whenever we are together but as soon as we hit class, the mood sinks like a ton of lead bricks in water. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my Friend [20F] giving me mixed signals?
POST: So for the past two months this girl that i became friends with has been driving me crazy! Whenever we talk/hangout we always have a blast. Our conversations cover a wide range of topics and both of us are so excited with what we have to say to each other that we interrupt each other mid-sentence frequently. Everything she says and everything i say is very in depth, and we love to analyze people and the way they act like they do.
We usually spend an hour or so after class talking in the parking lot (Even when its freezing and we are shaking). But its a different story when we are in class. The other day (and this has happened before recently) she comes into class and sits in front of me but proceeds to not even make eye contact or talk to me throughout almost the entirety of class. Which makes me comb my mind thinking of anything i might have done or said to have upset her. Yes, its obvious that i have feelings for her, but i also highly value our friendship and i would really hate to mess it up by being impulsive and misinterpreting signals.
But then the second we walk out of class it's like everything else is exactly as it was, and we have a blast. Could this be her telling me to keep my distance (i am the only one she does this to in class, she has no problem talking to anyone else around her)?
Should i be direct and just ask her whats up? Or should i just ignore it and continue on like its nothing?
TL;DR: | Friend and i have an amazing time whenever we are together but as soon as we hit class, the mood sinks like a ton of lead bricks in water.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 32 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my Friend [20F] giving me mixed signals?
POST: So for the past two months this girl that i became friends with has been driving me crazy! Whenever we talk/hangout we always have a blast. Our conversations cover a wide range of topics and both of us are so excited with what we have to say to each other that we interrupt each other mid-sentence frequently. Everything she says and everything i say is very in depth, and we love to analyze people and the way they act like they do.
We usually spend an hour or so after class talking in the parking lot (Even when its freezing and we are shaking). But its a different story when we are in class. The other day (and this has happened before recently) she comes into class and sits in front of me but proceeds to not even make eye contact or talk to me throughout almost the entirety of class. Which makes me comb my mind thinking of anything i might have done or said to have upset her. Yes, its obvious that i have feelings for her, but i also highly value our friendship and i would really hate to mess it up by being impulsive and misinterpreting signals.
But then the second we walk out of class it's like everything else is exactly as it was, and we have a blast. Could this be her telling me to keep my distance (i am the only one she does this to in class, she has no problem talking to anyone else around her)?
Should i be direct and just ask her whats up? Or should i just ignore it and continue on like its nothing?
TL;DR: Friend and i have an amazing time whenever we are together but as soon as we hit class, the mood sinks like a ton of lead bricks in water.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_39rlmv | relationships | How can I [18 M] suppress jealousy I don't want to feel? | I am in a very loving and committed relationship with an amazing girlfriend [16]. However, I have some lingering feelings for my best friend [17 F]. Both of them know about this crush and it's all fine and understood. The friend is also asexual and has no romantic desires at all.
Obviously there is NOTHING romantic between us and never will be. She's simply my closest friend, who I love and admire a very great deal.
I just have one problem. A friend of mine fell for this girl. And, obviously, it went nowhere at all. But the mere thought of them together bothered me a great deal more than it should. It was positively painful. I was almost angry at the guy (and besides, she could do a lot better. He's blindingly annoying to the point where my girlfriend refuses to be in the same room as him).
I don't WANT to be so unreasonably bloody jealous. I want my blood to NOT boil when I think of her with someone else. | I'm unreasonably jealous over a girl I'm not even with and I don't want to be. Is there any way to suppress this? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [18 M] suppress jealousy I don't want to feel?
POST: I am in a very loving and committed relationship with an amazing girlfriend [16]. However, I have some lingering feelings for my best friend [17 F]. Both of them know about this crush and it's all fine and understood. The friend is also asexual and has no romantic desires at all.
Obviously there is NOTHING romantic between us and never will be. She's simply my closest friend, who I love and admire a very great deal.
I just have one problem. A friend of mine fell for this girl. And, obviously, it went nowhere at all. But the mere thought of them together bothered me a great deal more than it should. It was positively painful. I was almost angry at the guy (and besides, she could do a lot better. He's blindingly annoying to the point where my girlfriend refuses to be in the same room as him).
I don't WANT to be so unreasonably bloody jealous. I want my blood to NOT boil when I think of her with someone else.
TL;DR: | I'm unreasonably jealous over a girl I'm not even with and I don't want to be. Is there any way to suppress this?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 30 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [18 M] suppress jealousy I don't want to feel?
POST: I am in a very loving and committed relationship with an amazing girlfriend [16]. However, I have some lingering feelings for my best friend [17 F]. Both of them know about this crush and it's all fine and understood. The friend is also asexual and has no romantic desires at all.
Obviously there is NOTHING romantic between us and never will be. She's simply my closest friend, who I love and admire a very great deal.
I just have one problem. A friend of mine fell for this girl. And, obviously, it went nowhere at all. But the mere thought of them together bothered me a great deal more than it should. It was positively painful. I was almost angry at the guy (and besides, she could do a lot better. He's blindingly annoying to the point where my girlfriend refuses to be in the same room as him).
I don't WANT to be so unreasonably bloody jealous. I want my blood to NOT boil when I think of her with someone else.
TL;DR: I'm unreasonably jealous over a girl I'm not even with and I don't want to be. Is there any way to suppress this?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2fra6i | relationships | Me 19M with my 18F duration, Long distance and she's homesick | I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and we love each other very much and talk about our futures with one another. She's in her first year at a university while I'm at my second at a university 4 hours drive away.
I visited her this weekend for her birthday, which is today, but I had to leave at 5am this morning to catch a bus back to my school.
Today is her birthday but she is feeling very depressed and homesick. She rushed a sorority, but feels out of her element, because she does not like the party scene. She has had a tough time meeting friends and her closest friends are her roommate and people that we both know from our high school.
How can I make her situation better and turn her day around? I have a hard time being happy when she isn't, and I really want her to lose some of her stress. A lot of the stress is because we had to say goodbye today and I know a lot of it is her homesickness, what can I say/do to make her feel better?
Thanks in advance for the advice!!! | Girlfriend homesick/upset the day I leave (her 18th birthday), how do I make her feel better? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 19M with my 18F duration, Long distance and she's homesick
POST: I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and we love each other very much and talk about our futures with one another. She's in her first year at a university while I'm at my second at a university 4 hours drive away.
I visited her this weekend for her birthday, which is today, but I had to leave at 5am this morning to catch a bus back to my school.
Today is her birthday but she is feeling very depressed and homesick. She rushed a sorority, but feels out of her element, because she does not like the party scene. She has had a tough time meeting friends and her closest friends are her roommate and people that we both know from our high school.
How can I make her situation better and turn her day around? I have a hard time being happy when she isn't, and I really want her to lose some of her stress. A lot of the stress is because we had to say goodbye today and I know a lot of it is her homesickness, what can I say/do to make her feel better?
Thanks in advance for the advice!!!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend homesick/upset the day I leave (her 18th birthday), how do I make her feel better?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 26 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 19M with my 18F duration, Long distance and she's homesick
POST: I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and we love each other very much and talk about our futures with one another. She's in her first year at a university while I'm at my second at a university 4 hours drive away.
I visited her this weekend for her birthday, which is today, but I had to leave at 5am this morning to catch a bus back to my school.
Today is her birthday but she is feeling very depressed and homesick. She rushed a sorority, but feels out of her element, because she does not like the party scene. She has had a tough time meeting friends and her closest friends are her roommate and people that we both know from our high school.
How can I make her situation better and turn her day around? I have a hard time being happy when she isn't, and I really want her to lose some of her stress. A lot of the stress is because we had to say goodbye today and I know a lot of it is her homesickness, what can I say/do to make her feel better?
Thanks in advance for the advice!!!
TL;DR: Girlfriend homesick/upset the day I leave (her 18th birthday), how do I make her feel better?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2phz1r | relationships | Me [31M] need advice talking to [24F] about what her intentions are right now with | Hi everyone - So a few months ago I ended a really bad relationship. Then about a month ago I started seeing someone new. We're both in school so we haven't has much time to connect, but we've hung out a few times. Sushi twice (first my treat, second hers), and then we volunteered together at a recent Santa parade. Apart from that, we text every few days or so. It's really, really light.
What I'd really like help with is language to use to figure out what her intentions are, without scaring her off. She's quite shy and even she admits that she's rather passive, so naturally I'd rather not freak her out. Is is too soon to ask what her last relationship was like? Or is that off the table? Like I've
We haven't had a talk about anything more official nor has anything physical happened, but I do get the feeling like she's at least interested. Like I said, she's really shy so I think that accounts for her aloofness.
I'm cooking dinner tonight for the two of us, so I'd like to have some conversation with her about it then. | What are good words and questions to use to figure out where someone sees something going, without really grabbing the bull the proverbial horns. | [
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TITLE: Me [31M] need advice talking to [24F] about what her intentions are right now with
POST: Hi everyone - So a few months ago I ended a really bad relationship. Then about a month ago I started seeing someone new. We're both in school so we haven't has much time to connect, but we've hung out a few times. Sushi twice (first my treat, second hers), and then we volunteered together at a recent Santa parade. Apart from that, we text every few days or so. It's really, really light.
What I'd really like help with is language to use to figure out what her intentions are, without scaring her off. She's quite shy and even she admits that she's rather passive, so naturally I'd rather not freak her out. Is is too soon to ask what her last relationship was like? Or is that off the table? Like I've
We haven't had a talk about anything more official nor has anything physical happened, but I do get the feeling like she's at least interested. Like I said, she's really shy so I think that accounts for her aloofness.
I'm cooking dinner tonight for the two of us, so I'd like to have some conversation with her about it then.
TL;DR: | What are good words and questions to use to figure out where someone sees something going, without really grabbing the bull the proverbial horns. <|endoftext|> | [
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] | 30 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31M] need advice talking to [24F] about what her intentions are right now with
POST: Hi everyone - So a few months ago I ended a really bad relationship. Then about a month ago I started seeing someone new. We're both in school so we haven't has much time to connect, but we've hung out a few times. Sushi twice (first my treat, second hers), and then we volunteered together at a recent Santa parade. Apart from that, we text every few days or so. It's really, really light.
What I'd really like help with is language to use to figure out what her intentions are, without scaring her off. She's quite shy and even she admits that she's rather passive, so naturally I'd rather not freak her out. Is is too soon to ask what her last relationship was like? Or is that off the table? Like I've
We haven't had a talk about anything more official nor has anything physical happened, but I do get the feeling like she's at least interested. Like I said, she's really shy so I think that accounts for her aloofness.
I'm cooking dinner tonight for the two of us, so I'd like to have some conversation with her about it then.
TL;DR: What are good words and questions to use to figure out where someone sees something going, without really grabbing the bull the proverbial horns. <|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2h9df8 | relationships | My [28M] wife [35F] picks fights with me, takes then too far, then expects me to forgive and forget with no resolution | Married just over a year. 99% of the time we are great. We recently returned from a trip with my wife to visit her family. The whole time she was lovey dovey and affectionate. The day after we got back she had a bad attitude. We had some issues with our power bill that she was working on. She did a spreadsheet and determined we were being charged erroneously.
I asked to see the spreadsheet before i called the company so that i could try to understand what was going on before i called. She got defensive and accused me of questioning her, something she often does when i ask questions to her when I really was just trying to understand. The whole thing quickly spiraled and ended up in other subjects and her threatening to divorce me when I got angry and slammed a door.
She picked a stupid fight with me out of nowhere for no good reason and kept pushing and pushing me until i expressed my anger by slamming the door, which i acknowledge was wrong, but she refused to accept responsibility for baiting me into it. She tried to tell me that i could just walk away and cool off but its bullshit because she ALWAYS holds it against me in the fight.
But then today she acts like nothing happened and when I try to talk about it she just says "were gonna fight from time to time, its no big deal". Then she gets annoyed if i keep trying to talk about it. This is how it ALWAYS is when we fight. She picks a fight, takes it too far, then expects me to act like nothing ever happened.
I feel like she makes our fights so much worse than they should be but then she robs us of any opportunity to grow from it. And half the time she tries to seduce me almost as a way to avoid the talk. | Wife is horrible to me during fights, treats me like the bad guy, then expects me to just forgive and forget. What can I do to get her to actually listen to me? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28M] wife [35F] picks fights with me, takes then too far, then expects me to forgive and forget with no resolution
POST: Married just over a year. 99% of the time we are great. We recently returned from a trip with my wife to visit her family. The whole time she was lovey dovey and affectionate. The day after we got back she had a bad attitude. We had some issues with our power bill that she was working on. She did a spreadsheet and determined we were being charged erroneously.
I asked to see the spreadsheet before i called the company so that i could try to understand what was going on before i called. She got defensive and accused me of questioning her, something she often does when i ask questions to her when I really was just trying to understand. The whole thing quickly spiraled and ended up in other subjects and her threatening to divorce me when I got angry and slammed a door.
She picked a stupid fight with me out of nowhere for no good reason and kept pushing and pushing me until i expressed my anger by slamming the door, which i acknowledge was wrong, but she refused to accept responsibility for baiting me into it. She tried to tell me that i could just walk away and cool off but its bullshit because she ALWAYS holds it against me in the fight.
But then today she acts like nothing happened and when I try to talk about it she just says "were gonna fight from time to time, its no big deal". Then she gets annoyed if i keep trying to talk about it. This is how it ALWAYS is when we fight. She picks a fight, takes it too far, then expects me to act like nothing ever happened.
I feel like she makes our fights so much worse than they should be but then she robs us of any opportunity to grow from it. And half the time she tries to seduce me almost as a way to avoid the talk.
TL;DR: | Wife is horrible to me during fights, treats me like the bad guy, then expects me to just forgive and forget. What can I do to get her to actually listen to me?<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: My [28M] wife [35F] picks fights with me, takes then too far, then expects me to forgive and forget with no resolution
POST: Married just over a year. 99% of the time we are great. We recently returned from a trip with my wife to visit her family. The whole time she was lovey dovey and affectionate. The day after we got back she had a bad attitude. We had some issues with our power bill that she was working on. She did a spreadsheet and determined we were being charged erroneously.
I asked to see the spreadsheet before i called the company so that i could try to understand what was going on before i called. She got defensive and accused me of questioning her, something she often does when i ask questions to her when I really was just trying to understand. The whole thing quickly spiraled and ended up in other subjects and her threatening to divorce me when I got angry and slammed a door.
She picked a stupid fight with me out of nowhere for no good reason and kept pushing and pushing me until i expressed my anger by slamming the door, which i acknowledge was wrong, but she refused to accept responsibility for baiting me into it. She tried to tell me that i could just walk away and cool off but its bullshit because she ALWAYS holds it against me in the fight.
But then today she acts like nothing happened and when I try to talk about it she just says "were gonna fight from time to time, its no big deal". Then she gets annoyed if i keep trying to talk about it. This is how it ALWAYS is when we fight. She picks a fight, takes it too far, then expects me to act like nothing ever happened.
I feel like she makes our fights so much worse than they should be but then she robs us of any opportunity to grow from it. And half the time she tries to seduce me almost as a way to avoid the talk.
TL;DR: Wife is horrible to me during fights, treats me like the bad guy, then expects me to just forgive and forget. What can I do to get her to actually listen to me?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_j522n | AskReddit | Legal advice after a crazy night. | Last weekend a couple of high school friends and I got together in Duluth, MN where some of them go to school. We are all 21 and we got a little bit too drunk. Somehow we slowly got separated throughout the night. I was with two of my friends at bar close. We walked out and I realized I had forgot my wallet inside. I turned to go back in and that is the last thing I remember until 5:30 AM. This is when I become aware again and I am walking alone around the streets of Duluth where I have never been before. I get ahold of one of the guys that lives there and he gives me directions to a house in which I can sleep. He picks me up later and asks if I know where the other two guys I was with are. Neither of us have any idea where they could be so we start checking detox and asking other people that we saw out that night. No luck.
Turns out they were in jail. They don't remember anything from the night. But it turns out they were seen breaking two windshields with rocks and tipping over motorcycles at 3:30 AM. They both got arrested and are now charged with felony vandalism because the damage was over $1000 dollars. Their case is against the state and not the people who own the vehicles.
My question is, why are they against the state and is there any way for them to get this dropped if they just pay the people who's property they damages. They have no priors so I don't understand why they are throwing the book at a couple of drunken idiots. Any advice or similar stories would be greatly appreciated. | My friends got blackout drunk, broke some windshields and are now charged with felony vandalism. Anyone have some legal advice or experience with similar circumstances? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Legal advice after a crazy night.
POST: Last weekend a couple of high school friends and I got together in Duluth, MN where some of them go to school. We are all 21 and we got a little bit too drunk. Somehow we slowly got separated throughout the night. I was with two of my friends at bar close. We walked out and I realized I had forgot my wallet inside. I turned to go back in and that is the last thing I remember until 5:30 AM. This is when I become aware again and I am walking alone around the streets of Duluth where I have never been before. I get ahold of one of the guys that lives there and he gives me directions to a house in which I can sleep. He picks me up later and asks if I know where the other two guys I was with are. Neither of us have any idea where they could be so we start checking detox and asking other people that we saw out that night. No luck.
Turns out they were in jail. They don't remember anything from the night. But it turns out they were seen breaking two windshields with rocks and tipping over motorcycles at 3:30 AM. They both got arrested and are now charged with felony vandalism because the damage was over $1000 dollars. Their case is against the state and not the people who own the vehicles.
My question is, why are they against the state and is there any way for them to get this dropped if they just pay the people who's property they damages. They have no priors so I don't understand why they are throwing the book at a couple of drunken idiots. Any advice or similar stories would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | My friends got blackout drunk, broke some windshields and are now charged with felony vandalism. Anyone have some legal advice or experience with similar circumstances?<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: Legal advice after a crazy night.
POST: Last weekend a couple of high school friends and I got together in Duluth, MN where some of them go to school. We are all 21 and we got a little bit too drunk. Somehow we slowly got separated throughout the night. I was with two of my friends at bar close. We walked out and I realized I had forgot my wallet inside. I turned to go back in and that is the last thing I remember until 5:30 AM. This is when I become aware again and I am walking alone around the streets of Duluth where I have never been before. I get ahold of one of the guys that lives there and he gives me directions to a house in which I can sleep. He picks me up later and asks if I know where the other two guys I was with are. Neither of us have any idea where they could be so we start checking detox and asking other people that we saw out that night. No luck.
Turns out they were in jail. They don't remember anything from the night. But it turns out they were seen breaking two windshields with rocks and tipping over motorcycles at 3:30 AM. They both got arrested and are now charged with felony vandalism because the damage was over $1000 dollars. Their case is against the state and not the people who own the vehicles.
My question is, why are they against the state and is there any way for them to get this dropped if they just pay the people who's property they damages. They have no priors so I don't understand why they are throwing the book at a couple of drunken idiots. Any advice or similar stories would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: My friends got blackout drunk, broke some windshields and are now charged with felony vandalism. Anyone have some legal advice or experience with similar circumstances?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_3w6b8q | tifu | TIFU by missing an exam that's worth a 5th of my grade. | This didn't actually happen today, but I'm still dealing with the consequences.
Sorry this is so long, but it needs explaining.
I'm taking this biology class this semester. All the tests and quizzes are online and my prof posts all the lectures online, so I often wouldn't go to class. This is my first fuck up.
Somehow I got it into my head that my fourth exam was due on Monday the 7th. On Sunday night I checked online and it turns out the exam was due on Friday the 4th and I'd missed it. If I had gone to class at all last week, this wouldn't have happened.
I checked the syllabus for the class and it very clearly says in bold that you cannot miss an exam, you have to take all four exams. Even says the word **BEWARE!** twice. This is when my stomach dropped. I fucked up big time. That exam was worth 100 points and the entire semester only had 500 points available.
I quickly looked at my grades online and I only had 335 which out of 500 is 67%. At my college, to get credit for a class you have to have a 'C' or higher. This doesn't sound like that big of a fuck up, but let me explain.
This is my last year in college. I need 18 credit hours each semester, and I need this class in particular to graduate. If I didn't get credit for that class this semester I would have to take an extra class over winter break to have enough credit hours for this semester AAAND next semester I would have to take the class I failed again, which wouldn't count towards the 18 credit hours. Which means I would have to petition to be able to take 21 credit hours (RARELY ALLOWED at my school). Basically made the rest of my year impossible while also having to work full time.
I've emailed my professor and I basically pleaded with him to let me take the exam or basically do ANYTHING for 50 more points overall, just enough points to be able to get credit for the class. | I fucked up my entire school year by thinking my exam was on the 7th when it was actually on the 4th. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by missing an exam that's worth a 5th of my grade.
POST: This didn't actually happen today, but I'm still dealing with the consequences.
Sorry this is so long, but it needs explaining.
I'm taking this biology class this semester. All the tests and quizzes are online and my prof posts all the lectures online, so I often wouldn't go to class. This is my first fuck up.
Somehow I got it into my head that my fourth exam was due on Monday the 7th. On Sunday night I checked online and it turns out the exam was due on Friday the 4th and I'd missed it. If I had gone to class at all last week, this wouldn't have happened.
I checked the syllabus for the class and it very clearly says in bold that you cannot miss an exam, you have to take all four exams. Even says the word **BEWARE!** twice. This is when my stomach dropped. I fucked up big time. That exam was worth 100 points and the entire semester only had 500 points available.
I quickly looked at my grades online and I only had 335 which out of 500 is 67%. At my college, to get credit for a class you have to have a 'C' or higher. This doesn't sound like that big of a fuck up, but let me explain.
This is my last year in college. I need 18 credit hours each semester, and I need this class in particular to graduate. If I didn't get credit for that class this semester I would have to take an extra class over winter break to have enough credit hours for this semester AAAND next semester I would have to take the class I failed again, which wouldn't count towards the 18 credit hours. Which means I would have to petition to be able to take 21 credit hours (RARELY ALLOWED at my school). Basically made the rest of my year impossible while also having to work full time.
I've emailed my professor and I basically pleaded with him to let me take the exam or basically do ANYTHING for 50 more points overall, just enough points to be able to get credit for the class.
TL;DR: | I fucked up my entire school year by thinking my exam was on the 7th when it was actually on the 4th.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 26 | SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by missing an exam that's worth a 5th of my grade.
POST: This didn't actually happen today, but I'm still dealing with the consequences.
Sorry this is so long, but it needs explaining.
I'm taking this biology class this semester. All the tests and quizzes are online and my prof posts all the lectures online, so I often wouldn't go to class. This is my first fuck up.
Somehow I got it into my head that my fourth exam was due on Monday the 7th. On Sunday night I checked online and it turns out the exam was due on Friday the 4th and I'd missed it. If I had gone to class at all last week, this wouldn't have happened.
I checked the syllabus for the class and it very clearly says in bold that you cannot miss an exam, you have to take all four exams. Even says the word **BEWARE!** twice. This is when my stomach dropped. I fucked up big time. That exam was worth 100 points and the entire semester only had 500 points available.
I quickly looked at my grades online and I only had 335 which out of 500 is 67%. At my college, to get credit for a class you have to have a 'C' or higher. This doesn't sound like that big of a fuck up, but let me explain.
This is my last year in college. I need 18 credit hours each semester, and I need this class in particular to graduate. If I didn't get credit for that class this semester I would have to take an extra class over winter break to have enough credit hours for this semester AAAND next semester I would have to take the class I failed again, which wouldn't count towards the 18 credit hours. Which means I would have to petition to be able to take 21 credit hours (RARELY ALLOWED at my school). Basically made the rest of my year impossible while also having to work full time.
I've emailed my professor and I basically pleaded with him to let me take the exam or basically do ANYTHING for 50 more points overall, just enough points to be able to get credit for the class.
TL;DR: I fucked up my entire school year by thinking my exam was on the 7th when it was actually on the 4th.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_1plcxu | relationships | Me[22/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] of 3 months, wants "space." | A little history of us both: I'm a bit more experienced and had 3 boyfriends. He has only had 1 girlfriend and has been single for 6 years. I'm a city girl, he's a suburban guy. We went to the same university, had one mutual friend, never talked until after we BOTH graduated. We seem crazy different right? Fastforward..summer begins.
--
Everything was has been going perfect with my boyfriend since this summer. Of course, like with any relationship, there were a few problems since we are still getting used to each other, but they were always dealt with as soon as they came up. But now that he's back in school full time and I just started working full time, things have been a bit stressful for us both. Today, he tells me that he feels "smothered." WTF? I didn't even know how to take that because we only hang out during the weekends.. I think this has came up before where he told me that he was just so used to be alone that he had to get used to having me around. But I honestly thought that that phase was over because just two weeks ago, he told me that he missed me and couldn't wait to see me and today he wants "space?" He has mentioned before that he thinks that I have been changing to make him happy and I have NOT changed one bit. The only thing that has changed is that I have a full time job and he is in school full time. I am just so upset because I don't know how to take this. I haven't talked to him since and he hasn't said anything either. I know we have our differences but I thought that we had achieved a middle ground. I know that our relationship is still new and that I shouldn't freak out. At the same time, it's also why I SHOULD freak out. Why is my boyfriend of just THREE months want space? Please tell me that I'm crazy for thinking like this. | My inexperienced boyfriend and I, who is more experienced are totally different people, but we liked each other somehow. Now it has been three months and he wants "space." | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[22/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] of 3 months, wants "space."
POST: A little history of us both: I'm a bit more experienced and had 3 boyfriends. He has only had 1 girlfriend and has been single for 6 years. I'm a city girl, he's a suburban guy. We went to the same university, had one mutual friend, never talked until after we BOTH graduated. We seem crazy different right? Fastforward..summer begins.
--
Everything was has been going perfect with my boyfriend since this summer. Of course, like with any relationship, there were a few problems since we are still getting used to each other, but they were always dealt with as soon as they came up. But now that he's back in school full time and I just started working full time, things have been a bit stressful for us both. Today, he tells me that he feels "smothered." WTF? I didn't even know how to take that because we only hang out during the weekends.. I think this has came up before where he told me that he was just so used to be alone that he had to get used to having me around. But I honestly thought that that phase was over because just two weeks ago, he told me that he missed me and couldn't wait to see me and today he wants "space?" He has mentioned before that he thinks that I have been changing to make him happy and I have NOT changed one bit. The only thing that has changed is that I have a full time job and he is in school full time. I am just so upset because I don't know how to take this. I haven't talked to him since and he hasn't said anything either. I know we have our differences but I thought that we had achieved a middle ground. I know that our relationship is still new and that I shouldn't freak out. At the same time, it's also why I SHOULD freak out. Why is my boyfriend of just THREE months want space? Please tell me that I'm crazy for thinking like this.
TL;DR: | My inexperienced boyfriend and I, who is more experienced are totally different people, but we liked each other somehow. Now it has been three months and he wants "space."<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 36 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[22/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] of 3 months, wants "space."
POST: A little history of us both: I'm a bit more experienced and had 3 boyfriends. He has only had 1 girlfriend and has been single for 6 years. I'm a city girl, he's a suburban guy. We went to the same university, had one mutual friend, never talked until after we BOTH graduated. We seem crazy different right? Fastforward..summer begins.
--
Everything was has been going perfect with my boyfriend since this summer. Of course, like with any relationship, there were a few problems since we are still getting used to each other, but they were always dealt with as soon as they came up. But now that he's back in school full time and I just started working full time, things have been a bit stressful for us both. Today, he tells me that he feels "smothered." WTF? I didn't even know how to take that because we only hang out during the weekends.. I think this has came up before where he told me that he was just so used to be alone that he had to get used to having me around. But I honestly thought that that phase was over because just two weeks ago, he told me that he missed me and couldn't wait to see me and today he wants "space?" He has mentioned before that he thinks that I have been changing to make him happy and I have NOT changed one bit. The only thing that has changed is that I have a full time job and he is in school full time. I am just so upset because I don't know how to take this. I haven't talked to him since and he hasn't said anything either. I know we have our differences but I thought that we had achieved a middle ground. I know that our relationship is still new and that I shouldn't freak out. At the same time, it's also why I SHOULD freak out. Why is my boyfriend of just THREE months want space? Please tell me that I'm crazy for thinking like this.
TL;DR: My inexperienced boyfriend and I, who is more experienced are totally different people, but we liked each other somehow. Now it has been three months and he wants "space."<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_4z6l82 | relationships | He [26M] convinced me [27F] to say those three words, but left me hanging | I've [27F] known my new BF [26M] for almost a decade, but we just started dating a few weeks ago. Things have been very hot, heavy, and intense as fuck. We've been pretty close to inseparable since we started hanging out again. I've been having love type feelings for him since day one (pretty much), but I've been holding back from saying anything. He just got out of a relationship and it seemed he wanted to take things slow. So I was working with that and holding back. Plus, I was afraid of jumping in too deep too fast with him. We've sort of slipped and called each other "love" endearingly, but hadn't said "I love you". To me, it should be special. Not necessarily reciprocated at that moment, but still a special moment. Last night he asked me several times to say it to him, so I did, against my better judgement. And I got nothing in return. He just wanted me to say it to him, he wanted to hear it. I felt so vulnurable. I had opened up to him in the past, but it had been my choice to show that to him. I was the one who mentally prepared before ripping off the bandaid. This time, he ripped it off. If I had told him when I was ready, even if he wasn't ready to say it back yet, it would be totally different.
I'm feeling vulnerable, hurt, and angry at him for convincing me to do that without considering my feelings. I tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't really see anything wrong with it. He doesn't like that it upset me, and believes that anytime I try to talk to him about it it will just turn into a fight. I don't want to fight, I just want him to understand how badly he hurt me by not considering my feelings and how saying that would affect me. Any advice on how to handle this situation? | new BF convinced me to say "I love you" before I was 100% ready, with no response, and doesn't see how this negatively effected me. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [26M] convinced me [27F] to say those three words, but left me hanging
POST: I've [27F] known my new BF [26M] for almost a decade, but we just started dating a few weeks ago. Things have been very hot, heavy, and intense as fuck. We've been pretty close to inseparable since we started hanging out again. I've been having love type feelings for him since day one (pretty much), but I've been holding back from saying anything. He just got out of a relationship and it seemed he wanted to take things slow. So I was working with that and holding back. Plus, I was afraid of jumping in too deep too fast with him. We've sort of slipped and called each other "love" endearingly, but hadn't said "I love you". To me, it should be special. Not necessarily reciprocated at that moment, but still a special moment. Last night he asked me several times to say it to him, so I did, against my better judgement. And I got nothing in return. He just wanted me to say it to him, he wanted to hear it. I felt so vulnurable. I had opened up to him in the past, but it had been my choice to show that to him. I was the one who mentally prepared before ripping off the bandaid. This time, he ripped it off. If I had told him when I was ready, even if he wasn't ready to say it back yet, it would be totally different.
I'm feeling vulnerable, hurt, and angry at him for convincing me to do that without considering my feelings. I tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't really see anything wrong with it. He doesn't like that it upset me, and believes that anytime I try to talk to him about it it will just turn into a fight. I don't want to fight, I just want him to understand how badly he hurt me by not considering my feelings and how saying that would affect me. Any advice on how to handle this situation?
TL;DR: | new BF convinced me to say "I love you" before I was 100% ready, with no response, and doesn't see how this negatively effected me.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 33 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [26M] convinced me [27F] to say those three words, but left me hanging
POST: I've [27F] known my new BF [26M] for almost a decade, but we just started dating a few weeks ago. Things have been very hot, heavy, and intense as fuck. We've been pretty close to inseparable since we started hanging out again. I've been having love type feelings for him since day one (pretty much), but I've been holding back from saying anything. He just got out of a relationship and it seemed he wanted to take things slow. So I was working with that and holding back. Plus, I was afraid of jumping in too deep too fast with him. We've sort of slipped and called each other "love" endearingly, but hadn't said "I love you". To me, it should be special. Not necessarily reciprocated at that moment, but still a special moment. Last night he asked me several times to say it to him, so I did, against my better judgement. And I got nothing in return. He just wanted me to say it to him, he wanted to hear it. I felt so vulnurable. I had opened up to him in the past, but it had been my choice to show that to him. I was the one who mentally prepared before ripping off the bandaid. This time, he ripped it off. If I had told him when I was ready, even if he wasn't ready to say it back yet, it would be totally different.
I'm feeling vulnerable, hurt, and angry at him for convincing me to do that without considering my feelings. I tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't really see anything wrong with it. He doesn't like that it upset me, and believes that anytime I try to talk to him about it it will just turn into a fight. I don't want to fight, I just want him to understand how badly he hurt me by not considering my feelings and how saying that would affect me. Any advice on how to handle this situation?
TL;DR: new BF convinced me to say "I love you" before I was 100% ready, with no response, and doesn't see how this negatively effected me.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_wdp6d | AskReddit | USA Winter Holiday | G'Day Reddit,
I'm an Australian who is planning a four week USA holiday at the end of this year and I need your help. I want to know what your favourite places to visit are, what is worth seeing, and any lesser-known places that tourists wouldn't know about.
So you know what sort of sights and sounds I might enjoy: I'm 20, a chef, a chronic metal head, big video game fan and a nature/national park lover. I really want to visit the Nappa Valley to sample several restaurants wares, go to Yellowstone and Yosemite, visit universal studios and blizzard and valve HQ. hopefully there will be some heavy metal or rock concerts on through December and January I can go to, if people know of them let me know, info has been hard to find. I have no idea if I can manage that all in 4 weeks.
Don't worry about cost, I'll work out what I can afford to do. For accommodation, are there any backpackers/hostels you recommend? Is couchsurfing.net safe and reliable? I've had people say the US is too big to see everything in four weeks, what do you guys think? Should I stick to west coast or east coast?
Hopefully that was clear enough. Thanks for any help and information. | Aussie coming to Murica, tell me your favourite places to see, things to do and restaurants to eat at. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: USA Winter Holiday
POST: G'Day Reddit,
I'm an Australian who is planning a four week USA holiday at the end of this year and I need your help. I want to know what your favourite places to visit are, what is worth seeing, and any lesser-known places that tourists wouldn't know about.
So you know what sort of sights and sounds I might enjoy: I'm 20, a chef, a chronic metal head, big video game fan and a nature/national park lover. I really want to visit the Nappa Valley to sample several restaurants wares, go to Yellowstone and Yosemite, visit universal studios and blizzard and valve HQ. hopefully there will be some heavy metal or rock concerts on through December and January I can go to, if people know of them let me know, info has been hard to find. I have no idea if I can manage that all in 4 weeks.
Don't worry about cost, I'll work out what I can afford to do. For accommodation, are there any backpackers/hostels you recommend? Is couchsurfing.net safe and reliable? I've had people say the US is too big to see everything in four weeks, what do you guys think? Should I stick to west coast or east coast?
Hopefully that was clear enough. Thanks for any help and information.
TL;DR: | Aussie coming to Murica, tell me your favourite places to see, things to do and restaurants to eat at.<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: USA Winter Holiday
POST: G'Day Reddit,
I'm an Australian who is planning a four week USA holiday at the end of this year and I need your help. I want to know what your favourite places to visit are, what is worth seeing, and any lesser-known places that tourists wouldn't know about.
So you know what sort of sights and sounds I might enjoy: I'm 20, a chef, a chronic metal head, big video game fan and a nature/national park lover. I really want to visit the Nappa Valley to sample several restaurants wares, go to Yellowstone and Yosemite, visit universal studios and blizzard and valve HQ. hopefully there will be some heavy metal or rock concerts on through December and January I can go to, if people know of them let me know, info has been hard to find. I have no idea if I can manage that all in 4 weeks.
Don't worry about cost, I'll work out what I can afford to do. For accommodation, are there any backpackers/hostels you recommend? Is couchsurfing.net safe and reliable? I've had people say the US is too big to see everything in four weeks, what do you guys think? Should I stick to west coast or east coast?
Hopefully that was clear enough. Thanks for any help and information.
TL;DR: Aussie coming to Murica, tell me your favourite places to see, things to do and restaurants to eat at.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_3hou18 | legaladvice | What is the Portland law on how many people can be in a bedroom? | So I'm on Facebook asking if there's a place to rent in the Portland housing classifieds. We have a few kids, enough that people think that you cannot put more than 2 kids per room. There seems to be a line in the housing code that they should follow the "2+1" rule for renting. However, when reading the code, this seems to be even more of a guideline than a rule, and is even mentioned as such by the mayor in a PDF I found from a few years ago.
With housing so tight and people failing to find housing for one reason or another (and I plan to move my family up in a couple of months. I work in Portland right now), it would be nice to be able to come at this problem to show landlords that this isn't a law but a guideline, and shouldn't be treated as such. | Trying to show that the "2+1" "law" for renting in Portland is a guideline and not law. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: What is the Portland law on how many people can be in a bedroom?
POST: So I'm on Facebook asking if there's a place to rent in the Portland housing classifieds. We have a few kids, enough that people think that you cannot put more than 2 kids per room. There seems to be a line in the housing code that they should follow the "2+1" rule for renting. However, when reading the code, this seems to be even more of a guideline than a rule, and is even mentioned as such by the mayor in a PDF I found from a few years ago.
With housing so tight and people failing to find housing for one reason or another (and I plan to move my family up in a couple of months. I work in Portland right now), it would be nice to be able to come at this problem to show landlords that this isn't a law but a guideline, and shouldn't be treated as such.
TL;DR: | Trying to show that the "2+1" "law" for renting in Portland is a guideline and not law.<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: What is the Portland law on how many people can be in a bedroom?
POST: So I'm on Facebook asking if there's a place to rent in the Portland housing classifieds. We have a few kids, enough that people think that you cannot put more than 2 kids per room. There seems to be a line in the housing code that they should follow the "2+1" rule for renting. However, when reading the code, this seems to be even more of a guideline than a rule, and is even mentioned as such by the mayor in a PDF I found from a few years ago.
With housing so tight and people failing to find housing for one reason or another (and I plan to move my family up in a couple of months. I work in Portland right now), it would be nice to be able to come at this problem to show landlords that this isn't a law but a guideline, and shouldn't be treated as such.
TL;DR: Trying to show that the "2+1" "law" for renting in Portland is a guideline and not law.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 250 |
t3_4kpb5e | relationships | I(16m) have been put in an awkward situation by two girls(both 16f) I have a crush on | This is my first post and I'm on my phone, so sorry for any errors
Basically what happened was that all through out lunch, while I was sitting with them, every once and a while one of them would look at me, then look at the other one and say "my theory is right, I know it" this happened a lot throughout the whole lunch.
After lunch I finally learned what their theorys were. Their theorys were that I had a crush on the other one. So girl A thought I had a crush on girl B, and vice versa.
I'm kind of in a tough spot, because I said that one was right, and cause I have a crush on both of them. what do I do reddit? | two friends I have a crush on both think I have a crush on the other one. I already said one was right, although not which one. What do? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(16m) have been put in an awkward situation by two girls(both 16f) I have a crush on
POST: This is my first post and I'm on my phone, so sorry for any errors
Basically what happened was that all through out lunch, while I was sitting with them, every once and a while one of them would look at me, then look at the other one and say "my theory is right, I know it" this happened a lot throughout the whole lunch.
After lunch I finally learned what their theorys were. Their theorys were that I had a crush on the other one. So girl A thought I had a crush on girl B, and vice versa.
I'm kind of in a tough spot, because I said that one was right, and cause I have a crush on both of them. what do I do reddit?
TL;DR: | two friends I have a crush on both think I have a crush on the other one. I already said one was right, although not which one. What do?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 34 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(16m) have been put in an awkward situation by two girls(both 16f) I have a crush on
POST: This is my first post and I'm on my phone, so sorry for any errors
Basically what happened was that all through out lunch, while I was sitting with them, every once and a while one of them would look at me, then look at the other one and say "my theory is right, I know it" this happened a lot throughout the whole lunch.
After lunch I finally learned what their theorys were. Their theorys were that I had a crush on the other one. So girl A thought I had a crush on girl B, and vice versa.
I'm kind of in a tough spot, because I said that one was right, and cause I have a crush on both of them. what do I do reddit?
TL;DR: two friends I have a crush on both think I have a crush on the other one. I already said one was right, although not which one. What do?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 240 |
t3_53dryi | relationships | I(14f) had only just broke up with my ex(18m) of 4 years, I met someone after a month. Is this okay? | Edit: not 14f! 18f
So my ex and I broke up just over 2 months ago, we'd been dating for quite some time since we were both 14. My ex and I broke up early July because he was not happy with himself and being in a relationship. I was initially upset but I talked to him more about it and I agreed that it was best we broke up. It's been 2 months since then.
I met someone a month after the break up and we really got along, we have so much in common and he admitted to feeling the same way for me. Prior to meeting him I didn't plan on getting into a relationship soon. I guess I'm asking if it's okay for me to get into a relationship so soon after a break up, since my ex and I share the same friends I'm afraid they'll think that I left my ex for this new person. And I'm also afraid that I might be making a mistake with just getting into a new relationship.
My ex has also come back into my life saying he's made a mistake. I don't want to come back to him at all, I feel like being in a relationship will trigger something in him and do something to hurt me. | Ex and I ended a 4 year relationship and a month later found someone I really get along with. Ex has come back to my life saying he made a mistake. Is it okay to be in a new relationship now? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(14f) had only just broke up with my ex(18m) of 4 years, I met someone after a month. Is this okay?
POST: Edit: not 14f! 18f
So my ex and I broke up just over 2 months ago, we'd been dating for quite some time since we were both 14. My ex and I broke up early July because he was not happy with himself and being in a relationship. I was initially upset but I talked to him more about it and I agreed that it was best we broke up. It's been 2 months since then.
I met someone a month after the break up and we really got along, we have so much in common and he admitted to feeling the same way for me. Prior to meeting him I didn't plan on getting into a relationship soon. I guess I'm asking if it's okay for me to get into a relationship so soon after a break up, since my ex and I share the same friends I'm afraid they'll think that I left my ex for this new person. And I'm also afraid that I might be making a mistake with just getting into a new relationship.
My ex has also come back into my life saying he's made a mistake. I don't want to come back to him at all, I feel like being in a relationship will trigger something in him and do something to hurt me.
TL;DR: | Ex and I ended a 4 year relationship and a month later found someone I really get along with. Ex has come back to my life saying he made a mistake. Is it okay to be in a new relationship now?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 45 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(14f) had only just broke up with my ex(18m) of 4 years, I met someone after a month. Is this okay?
POST: Edit: not 14f! 18f
So my ex and I broke up just over 2 months ago, we'd been dating for quite some time since we were both 14. My ex and I broke up early July because he was not happy with himself and being in a relationship. I was initially upset but I talked to him more about it and I agreed that it was best we broke up. It's been 2 months since then.
I met someone a month after the break up and we really got along, we have so much in common and he admitted to feeling the same way for me. Prior to meeting him I didn't plan on getting into a relationship soon. I guess I'm asking if it's okay for me to get into a relationship so soon after a break up, since my ex and I share the same friends I'm afraid they'll think that I left my ex for this new person. And I'm also afraid that I might be making a mistake with just getting into a new relationship.
My ex has also come back into my life saying he's made a mistake. I don't want to come back to him at all, I feel like being in a relationship will trigger something in him and do something to hurt me.
TL;DR: Ex and I ended a 4 year relationship and a month later found someone I really get along with. Ex has come back to my life saying he made a mistake. Is it okay to be in a new relationship now?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2njqjn | relationships | Home from college, my parents won't let me [18/f] stay overnight with my boyfriend [20/m] | I have a question about how to go about this situation in the best way.
I am a college freshman home for thanksgiving break. In high school, when I was not 18 yet, my parents were really strict about my curfew (11pm in my state) and refused to let me stay overnight with my boyfriend. Actually, they would not let me stay anywhere overnight unless they could talk to someone's parents and verify that there are no drinking/drugs/guys there. For some reason they don't want me to stay over with my boyfriend even though my mom knows I am on birth control, just because it's not "morally right". We've been dating for a year and a half.
However, I am 18 now and I would like to stay over at a party this Friday. I know that my parents are going to say no initially, but I want to have a fair chance at convincing them. I've been staying over at my boyfriend's apartment every weekend during school anyways. When I would ask them during high school, they would always say that are afraid of their reputation as parents if someone found out I was staying over (honestly who would even ask them in the first place what I'm up to on a Friday night? Or care that I'm staying at a party?).
Overall, I just want to know if anyone has had a similar experience with their parents and can help guide me through the process of convincing them to let me stay. I've already tried lying about where I was and it did NOT work (last year). I want to be honest. | I want to stay over at a party coming up this weekend, as a college student on break. My parents are strict and I want to convince them to let me. | [
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TITLE: Home from college, my parents won't let me [18/f] stay overnight with my boyfriend [20/m]
POST: I have a question about how to go about this situation in the best way.
I am a college freshman home for thanksgiving break. In high school, when I was not 18 yet, my parents were really strict about my curfew (11pm in my state) and refused to let me stay overnight with my boyfriend. Actually, they would not let me stay anywhere overnight unless they could talk to someone's parents and verify that there are no drinking/drugs/guys there. For some reason they don't want me to stay over with my boyfriend even though my mom knows I am on birth control, just because it's not "morally right". We've been dating for a year and a half.
However, I am 18 now and I would like to stay over at a party this Friday. I know that my parents are going to say no initially, but I want to have a fair chance at convincing them. I've been staying over at my boyfriend's apartment every weekend during school anyways. When I would ask them during high school, they would always say that are afraid of their reputation as parents if someone found out I was staying over (honestly who would even ask them in the first place what I'm up to on a Friday night? Or care that I'm staying at a party?).
Overall, I just want to know if anyone has had a similar experience with their parents and can help guide me through the process of convincing them to let me stay. I've already tried lying about where I was and it did NOT work (last year). I want to be honest.
TL;DR: | I want to stay over at a party coming up this weekend, as a college student on break. My parents are strict and I want to convince them to let me.<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: Home from college, my parents won't let me [18/f] stay overnight with my boyfriend [20/m]
POST: I have a question about how to go about this situation in the best way.
I am a college freshman home for thanksgiving break. In high school, when I was not 18 yet, my parents were really strict about my curfew (11pm in my state) and refused to let me stay overnight with my boyfriend. Actually, they would not let me stay anywhere overnight unless they could talk to someone's parents and verify that there are no drinking/drugs/guys there. For some reason they don't want me to stay over with my boyfriend even though my mom knows I am on birth control, just because it's not "morally right". We've been dating for a year and a half.
However, I am 18 now and I would like to stay over at a party this Friday. I know that my parents are going to say no initially, but I want to have a fair chance at convincing them. I've been staying over at my boyfriend's apartment every weekend during school anyways. When I would ask them during high school, they would always say that are afraid of their reputation as parents if someone found out I was staying over (honestly who would even ask them in the first place what I'm up to on a Friday night? Or care that I'm staying at a party?).
Overall, I just want to know if anyone has had a similar experience with their parents and can help guide me through the process of convincing them to let me stay. I've already tried lying about where I was and it did NOT work (last year). I want to be honest.
TL;DR: I want to stay over at a party coming up this weekend, as a college student on break. My parents are strict and I want to convince them to let me.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_2oeu2d | tifu | TIFU by spending time calculating my grade instead of writing my paper | So I'm taking a brutal class this semester taught by our universities assistant dean. It also doesn't help that I've been sick constantly and missed class a few times, as well as some assignments. The end of semester is here and today there is a lab write up due. Of course it's on one of the few labs I was sick during.
So here I am, attempting to bs a paper that will be read by someone who is paid to see through bs. And I decide to start calculating what my grade is at now. This isn't easy because at the end of the semester she curves the grades. But unless the curve is substantial I'm pretty much going to fail.
Doing this took quite a bit of time and I'm now 30 min away from the deadline and there is absolutely no way I can write the paper in that short of time. Hell, I don't know if I could write it at all since I don't really know what we did for the lab. So pretty much I'm going to fail this class. | I'm taking a really hard class and instead of attempting to work on an assignment I calculated my grade to find out how screwed I am ( very screwed) | [
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TITLE: TIFU by spending time calculating my grade instead of writing my paper
POST: So I'm taking a brutal class this semester taught by our universities assistant dean. It also doesn't help that I've been sick constantly and missed class a few times, as well as some assignments. The end of semester is here and today there is a lab write up due. Of course it's on one of the few labs I was sick during.
So here I am, attempting to bs a paper that will be read by someone who is paid to see through bs. And I decide to start calculating what my grade is at now. This isn't easy because at the end of the semester she curves the grades. But unless the curve is substantial I'm pretty much going to fail.
Doing this took quite a bit of time and I'm now 30 min away from the deadline and there is absolutely no way I can write the paper in that short of time. Hell, I don't know if I could write it at all since I don't really know what we did for the lab. So pretty much I'm going to fail this class.
TL;DR: | I'm taking a really hard class and instead of attempting to work on an assignment I calculated my grade to find out how screwed I am ( very screwed)<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 32 | SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by spending time calculating my grade instead of writing my paper
POST: So I'm taking a brutal class this semester taught by our universities assistant dean. It also doesn't help that I've been sick constantly and missed class a few times, as well as some assignments. The end of semester is here and today there is a lab write up due. Of course it's on one of the few labs I was sick during.
So here I am, attempting to bs a paper that will be read by someone who is paid to see through bs. And I decide to start calculating what my grade is at now. This isn't easy because at the end of the semester she curves the grades. But unless the curve is substantial I'm pretty much going to fail.
Doing this took quite a bit of time and I'm now 30 min away from the deadline and there is absolutely no way I can write the paper in that short of time. Hell, I don't know if I could write it at all since I don't really know what we did for the lab. So pretty much I'm going to fail this class.
TL;DR: I'm taking a really hard class and instead of attempting to work on an assignment I calculated my grade to find out how screwed I am ( very screwed)<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_332prp | relationship_advice | I [M/22] am in love with my ex Gf [F/20] who recently came out as gay. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but it's painful | I broke up with my ex a year ago. During that time we became better friends than we ever were when we were dating, I basically love her more now than I did when we were dating. In this same period she also began to realise that she was gay
As much as I love her I know a sexual relationship is impossible and I know I can love her in a way she can't love me back, but I still care for her and she cares for me. Emotionally we still connect even though I know that physically it is not the same. (We never could connect physically properly for reasons that are now clear, this was why we broke up)
I need to move on, I cant have relationship with her, but I don't know how I can be in another relationship while she is a part of my life. I don't know how I can move on and have another chance while I am hung up on her. We are best friends, I am the only one she has told about being gay afaik.
She is my best friend and I don't want to lose her as a friend but its really painful to be around her. The problem is we broke up physically but not emotionally. We still do almost all the same bf/gf stuff we did while dating minus the sex. How do I detach and not lose how close we are? | My ex is gay. We still care about eachother, but not in the same way. How can I move on but keep her in my life? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [M/22] am in love with my ex Gf [F/20] who recently came out as gay. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but it's painful
POST: I broke up with my ex a year ago. During that time we became better friends than we ever were when we were dating, I basically love her more now than I did when we were dating. In this same period she also began to realise that she was gay
As much as I love her I know a sexual relationship is impossible and I know I can love her in a way she can't love me back, but I still care for her and she cares for me. Emotionally we still connect even though I know that physically it is not the same. (We never could connect physically properly for reasons that are now clear, this was why we broke up)
I need to move on, I cant have relationship with her, but I don't know how I can be in another relationship while she is a part of my life. I don't know how I can move on and have another chance while I am hung up on her. We are best friends, I am the only one she has told about being gay afaik.
She is my best friend and I don't want to lose her as a friend but its really painful to be around her. The problem is we broke up physically but not emotionally. We still do almost all the same bf/gf stuff we did while dating minus the sex. How do I detach and not lose how close we are?
TL;DR: | My ex is gay. We still care about eachother, but not in the same way. How can I move on but keep her in my life?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 32 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [M/22] am in love with my ex Gf [F/20] who recently came out as gay. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but it's painful
POST: I broke up with my ex a year ago. During that time we became better friends than we ever were when we were dating, I basically love her more now than I did when we were dating. In this same period she also began to realise that she was gay
As much as I love her I know a sexual relationship is impossible and I know I can love her in a way she can't love me back, but I still care for her and she cares for me. Emotionally we still connect even though I know that physically it is not the same. (We never could connect physically properly for reasons that are now clear, this was why we broke up)
I need to move on, I cant have relationship with her, but I don't know how I can be in another relationship while she is a part of my life. I don't know how I can move on and have another chance while I am hung up on her. We are best friends, I am the only one she has told about being gay afaik.
She is my best friend and I don't want to lose her as a friend but its really painful to be around her. The problem is we broke up physically but not emotionally. We still do almost all the same bf/gf stuff we did while dating minus the sex. How do I detach and not lose how close we are?
TL;DR: My ex is gay. We still care about eachother, but not in the same way. How can I move on but keep her in my life?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 385 |
t3_4q1b76 | relationships | Me (30F) doesn't trust partner (31M) to know what he wants | I have been seeing someone for just over two years. It's been incredibly rocky from the start but we knew each other well and we were good friends before we started dating. Sometimes it's impossible to imagine how it went wrong.
We both have had a very difficult past with relationships and trust. And we have decided to take a break and think about whether or not we want to continue.
Now that I have some space I am getting some much needed clarity. I realize that I don't trust him to know, or to act on what he wants. I don't think he wanted to continue our relationship very early on and did anyway. In his previous relationship he openly admits to staying way past knowing that it was over.
I feel resentful and realize that probably many of the problems that were immediately evident were part of this resentment and lack of trust.
Isn't this trust in its most basic form? Trusting that someone is being honest about their feelings for you?
I love this person very much. And I think there is a lot worth saving. But I don't feel right fighting for it. I feel like I'm taking advantage of someone who has been hurt and doesn't know how to end it themselves
.
If this basic trust isn't there I feel like there isn't much point in carrying on.
Does anyone else have experience with this kind of trust issue? | Currently on break from partner of 2 years. Realized I don't trust him to know what he wants or trust him to be honest about wanting to end it. Am i doing the wrong thing by wanting to fix things between us? | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (30F) doesn't trust partner (31M) to know what he wants
POST: I have been seeing someone for just over two years. It's been incredibly rocky from the start but we knew each other well and we were good friends before we started dating. Sometimes it's impossible to imagine how it went wrong.
We both have had a very difficult past with relationships and trust. And we have decided to take a break and think about whether or not we want to continue.
Now that I have some space I am getting some much needed clarity. I realize that I don't trust him to know, or to act on what he wants. I don't think he wanted to continue our relationship very early on and did anyway. In his previous relationship he openly admits to staying way past knowing that it was over.
I feel resentful and realize that probably many of the problems that were immediately evident were part of this resentment and lack of trust.
Isn't this trust in its most basic form? Trusting that someone is being honest about their feelings for you?
I love this person very much. And I think there is a lot worth saving. But I don't feel right fighting for it. I feel like I'm taking advantage of someone who has been hurt and doesn't know how to end it themselves
.
If this basic trust isn't there I feel like there isn't much point in carrying on.
Does anyone else have experience with this kind of trust issue?
TL;DR: | Currently on break from partner of 2 years. Realized I don't trust him to know what he wants or trust him to be honest about wanting to end it. Am i doing the wrong thing by wanting to fix things between us?<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 48 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (30F) doesn't trust partner (31M) to know what he wants
POST: I have been seeing someone for just over two years. It's been incredibly rocky from the start but we knew each other well and we were good friends before we started dating. Sometimes it's impossible to imagine how it went wrong.
We both have had a very difficult past with relationships and trust. And we have decided to take a break and think about whether or not we want to continue.
Now that I have some space I am getting some much needed clarity. I realize that I don't trust him to know, or to act on what he wants. I don't think he wanted to continue our relationship very early on and did anyway. In his previous relationship he openly admits to staying way past knowing that it was over.
I feel resentful and realize that probably many of the problems that were immediately evident were part of this resentment and lack of trust.
Isn't this trust in its most basic form? Trusting that someone is being honest about their feelings for you?
I love this person very much. And I think there is a lot worth saving. But I don't feel right fighting for it. I feel like I'm taking advantage of someone who has been hurt and doesn't know how to end it themselves
.
If this basic trust isn't there I feel like there isn't much point in carrying on.
Does anyone else have experience with this kind of trust issue?
TL;DR: Currently on break from partner of 2 years. Realized I don't trust him to know what he wants or trust him to be honest about wanting to end it. Am i doing the wrong thing by wanting to fix things between us?<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_46udc4 | tifu | TIFU by converting my gas grill from Propane to Natural Gas | This one actually happened a few hours ago..
Converted my Weber Spirit from LP to natural gas by changing the orifices. A buddy told me that natural gas coming into your house is already regulated, so I figure I'll just give it a shot without adding a pressure regulator.
Grill lights, all is seemingly good. I close the lid and watch the heat rise...fast! The temperature needle on the lid thermometer go past the 600F mark. I turned it down, determined to get some burgers grilled for dinner, and start googling regulators and am not paying very much attention. Temperature keeps rising until I hear a loud thud and see:
This is my normal grilling spot on LP, which probably wasn't smart either. I was too close to the window for this extra hot grill I was operating. Regulator ordered, grill will be relocated.
Oh, and I'll call a glass guy on Monday :| | converted a gas grill without really knowing what I was doing. Cracked my dining room window by leaving the extra hot grill too close. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by converting my gas grill from Propane to Natural Gas
POST: This one actually happened a few hours ago..
Converted my Weber Spirit from LP to natural gas by changing the orifices. A buddy told me that natural gas coming into your house is already regulated, so I figure I'll just give it a shot without adding a pressure regulator.
Grill lights, all is seemingly good. I close the lid and watch the heat rise...fast! The temperature needle on the lid thermometer go past the 600F mark. I turned it down, determined to get some burgers grilled for dinner, and start googling regulators and am not paying very much attention. Temperature keeps rising until I hear a loud thud and see:
This is my normal grilling spot on LP, which probably wasn't smart either. I was too close to the window for this extra hot grill I was operating. Regulator ordered, grill will be relocated.
Oh, and I'll call a glass guy on Monday :|
TL;DR: | converted a gas grill without really knowing what I was doing. Cracked my dining room window by leaving the extra hot grill too close.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 28 | SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by converting my gas grill from Propane to Natural Gas
POST: This one actually happened a few hours ago..
Converted my Weber Spirit from LP to natural gas by changing the orifices. A buddy told me that natural gas coming into your house is already regulated, so I figure I'll just give it a shot without adding a pressure regulator.
Grill lights, all is seemingly good. I close the lid and watch the heat rise...fast! The temperature needle on the lid thermometer go past the 600F mark. I turned it down, determined to get some burgers grilled for dinner, and start googling regulators and am not paying very much attention. Temperature keeps rising until I hear a loud thud and see:
This is my normal grilling spot on LP, which probably wasn't smart either. I was too close to the window for this extra hot grill I was operating. Regulator ordered, grill will be relocated.
Oh, and I'll call a glass guy on Monday :|
TL;DR: converted a gas grill without really knowing what I was doing. Cracked my dining room window by leaving the extra hot grill too close.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_444oml | relationship_advice | LDR, I(23/F) plan on moving to him(24/M) but we have no idea what we're doing | We've have been together for 3 years and see each other about once a month. Overall we have a very healthy relationship. I've recently started conversations about getting our own place together. Scared him at first, like he thought I was gonna give him an ultimatum or something, he relaxed once he realized I wanted to start having actual conversations about how to make it a reality.
Based on various things in our lives(Ex. I'm done with school, he's not. He has a job in his field, I don't.), I think it's best that I move to his state which I'm okay with. He feels a bit selfish about it but agrees with my reasoning.
Problem is we both live with our parents and are pretty overwhelmed with the idea of moving out the first time. To live with an SO, no less, which is a stage of relationship neither of us has dealt with before. And in my case, moving to a different state and having to deal with random things like finding a new vet for my cat. It's a lot of new stuff and we're kinda in over our heads. | How do we go from LDR and living with our parents to living together? First apartment info is easy to find, moving out for the first time with an SO is a bit more complicated. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: LDR, I(23/F) plan on moving to him(24/M) but we have no idea what we're doing
POST: We've have been together for 3 years and see each other about once a month. Overall we have a very healthy relationship. I've recently started conversations about getting our own place together. Scared him at first, like he thought I was gonna give him an ultimatum or something, he relaxed once he realized I wanted to start having actual conversations about how to make it a reality.
Based on various things in our lives(Ex. I'm done with school, he's not. He has a job in his field, I don't.), I think it's best that I move to his state which I'm okay with. He feels a bit selfish about it but agrees with my reasoning.
Problem is we both live with our parents and are pretty overwhelmed with the idea of moving out the first time. To live with an SO, no less, which is a stage of relationship neither of us has dealt with before. And in my case, moving to a different state and having to deal with random things like finding a new vet for my cat. It's a lot of new stuff and we're kinda in over our heads.
TL;DR: | How do we go from LDR and living with our parents to living together? First apartment info is easy to find, moving out for the first time with an SO is a bit more complicated.<|endoftext|> | [
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] | 40 | SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: LDR, I(23/F) plan on moving to him(24/M) but we have no idea what we're doing
POST: We've have been together for 3 years and see each other about once a month. Overall we have a very healthy relationship. I've recently started conversations about getting our own place together. Scared him at first, like he thought I was gonna give him an ultimatum or something, he relaxed once he realized I wanted to start having actual conversations about how to make it a reality.
Based on various things in our lives(Ex. I'm done with school, he's not. He has a job in his field, I don't.), I think it's best that I move to his state which I'm okay with. He feels a bit selfish about it but agrees with my reasoning.
Problem is we both live with our parents and are pretty overwhelmed with the idea of moving out the first time. To live with an SO, no less, which is a stage of relationship neither of us has dealt with before. And in my case, moving to a different state and having to deal with random things like finding a new vet for my cat. It's a lot of new stuff and we're kinda in over our heads.
TL;DR: How do we go from LDR and living with our parents to living together? First apartment info is easy to find, moving out for the first time with an SO is a bit more complicated.<|endoftext|> | [
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t3_3vg84e | relationships | I (30M) used to be a really confident and sure person, now I'm pretty sure I'm no more than a cowering lackey. How can I get back to where I was? | To shorten what could be a much longer story, I had a few incidents and a lot of bad luck a few years ago that really set me back somewhat in life. Prior to it, I was a really confident person and could articulate myself really well. I was going places in life and I was doing well.
After everything happened to me a few years ago, I find that I'm almost just a polar opposite. I feel like being in control of my life and being confident, I'm now just a lackey that virtually can't even find the courage to do anything on my own. It hasn't helped that the jobs I've had in the past few years have put me in a completely subservient role as opposed to a managerial one that I'd had in the past.
I've found that it's reached me in so many areas. I can't ever seem to stand up for myself at work, I cower down to anyone, I always feel like there's something I'm going to say or do that's wrong, I'm just feeling so meek and lowly. I know it's affected my life otherwise, my wife has certainly noticed it. Wheras before I was really sure of myself and confident, I can't stop myself from apologizing to her all the time and just cowering to her as well. I know she hates it and I hate it too. I just can't find the courage to act any differently.
I've been seeing a few therapists the past few years about this and some severe depression I've suffered as well, but neither talking it out or the forms of medication they've prescribed have really made any tangible change for me.
Can anyone recommend how I can get out of this? I want to get back to being the confident and sure person I was before, not this coward I am now. | I took a hit in life that changed me from being a confident person to kind of being a cowering lackey and I could really use some advice on how to change that. | [
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] | SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (30M) used to be a really confident and sure person, now I'm pretty sure I'm no more than a cowering lackey. How can I get back to where I was?
POST: To shorten what could be a much longer story, I had a few incidents and a lot of bad luck a few years ago that really set me back somewhat in life. Prior to it, I was a really confident person and could articulate myself really well. I was going places in life and I was doing well.
After everything happened to me a few years ago, I find that I'm almost just a polar opposite. I feel like being in control of my life and being confident, I'm now just a lackey that virtually can't even find the courage to do anything on my own. It hasn't helped that the jobs I've had in the past few years have put me in a completely subservient role as opposed to a managerial one that I'd had in the past.
I've found that it's reached me in so many areas. I can't ever seem to stand up for myself at work, I cower down to anyone, I always feel like there's something I'm going to say or do that's wrong, I'm just feeling so meek and lowly. I know it's affected my life otherwise, my wife has certainly noticed it. Wheras before I was really sure of myself and confident, I can't stop myself from apologizing to her all the time and just cowering to her as well. I know she hates it and I hate it too. I just can't find the courage to act any differently.
I've been seeing a few therapists the past few years about this and some severe depression I've suffered as well, but neither talking it out or the forms of medication they've prescribed have really made any tangible change for me.
Can anyone recommend how I can get out of this? I want to get back to being the confident and sure person I was before, not this coward I am now.
TL;DR: | I took a hit in life that changed me from being a confident person to kind of being a cowering lackey and I could really use some advice on how to change that.<|endoftext|> | [
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TITLE: I (30M) used to be a really confident and sure person, now I'm pretty sure I'm no more than a cowering lackey. How can I get back to where I was?
POST: To shorten what could be a much longer story, I had a few incidents and a lot of bad luck a few years ago that really set me back somewhat in life. Prior to it, I was a really confident person and could articulate myself really well. I was going places in life and I was doing well.
After everything happened to me a few years ago, I find that I'm almost just a polar opposite. I feel like being in control of my life and being confident, I'm now just a lackey that virtually can't even find the courage to do anything on my own. It hasn't helped that the jobs I've had in the past few years have put me in a completely subservient role as opposed to a managerial one that I'd had in the past.
I've found that it's reached me in so many areas. I can't ever seem to stand up for myself at work, I cower down to anyone, I always feel like there's something I'm going to say or do that's wrong, I'm just feeling so meek and lowly. I know it's affected my life otherwise, my wife has certainly noticed it. Wheras before I was really sure of myself and confident, I can't stop myself from apologizing to her all the time and just cowering to her as well. I know she hates it and I hate it too. I just can't find the courage to act any differently.
I've been seeing a few therapists the past few years about this and some severe depression I've suffered as well, but neither talking it out or the forms of medication they've prescribed have really made any tangible change for me.
Can anyone recommend how I can get out of this? I want to get back to being the confident and sure person I was before, not this coward I am now.
TL;DR: I took a hit in life that changed me from being a confident person to kind of being a cowering lackey and I could really use some advice on how to change that.<|endoftext|> | [
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