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Ted from 2030

Kids, about eight months into Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's engagement, there occurred a game-changing emergency.

Marshall

Van Smoot is available.

Lily

Oh, my God!

Ted from 2030

Van Smoot House was a gorgeous mansion right on the Hudson River. It had everything Marshall and Lily wanted for their wedding, but it was never available. And then, suddenly, it was.

Marshall

There was a cancellation two months from now.

Lily

You want to have our wedding in two months? No. It's impossible.

Marshall

It's Van Smoot, Lily. It's the dream!

Lily

No, there's just not enough time. There's no way... Oh! Mini-vomit.

Marshall

Okay, look, look, look. I know that it's sudden, but check it. If we don't take this, guess who's on their way with a deposit check.

Lily

Todd and Valerie?

Ted from 2030

When you're planning a wedding, there's always one couple with similar taste that seems to be one step ahead of you. Todd and Valerie were that couple.

Marshall

We got to make a decision. Todd and Valerie are in motion. Van Smoot!

Lily

Oh! Kids, color!(Lily runs out of class, Marshall runs out pf the appartment, they join in the street) Come on, baby.

Marshall

Come on, come on, come on.

Todd

Hello, Marshall. Lily.

Marshall

Todd. Valerie. Stairs.

Lily

I can't believe it. We got Van Smoot House.

Marshall

It is on. It is on! Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan.

Robin

What?

Marshall

You're a wonder.

Ted

Wow! You guys are getting married in two months.

Robin

How are you going to get everything done?

Lily

Division of labor. Everyone's got a job to do, so listen up. Okay, Robin, you and Ted go to the florist.

Ted from 2030

Robin had been mad at me since the night I slightly exaggerated my not-having-a-girlfriend-ness.

Ted

Was it...?

Robin

It was your girlfriend. You might want to call her back.

Lily

Or, actually, Robin, why don't you go to the florist? And, Ted, I could use your keen architectural eye on... on the invitations.

Marshall

Wow. That was really awkward, Lil. And still. It's still really awkward right now.

Barney

Hey, what about me? What's my job? What do I get to do?

Lily

Okay, your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.

Barney

Lil, you know I can't promise that.

Marshall

Shh! Shh! Look how cute she looks. All tuckered out. Hey, babe. Hey, little one. Hey, Lilypad.

Lily

Crap! Band! We forgot a band! It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing.

Marshall

Shh! Shh! Baby, don't worry about it. I called The 88!

Lily

Who?

Marshall

The 88. They're this awesome band. They played my law review party. They were found guilty. On three counts of rocking.

Ted

I saw them two months ago at my cousin Bonzo's wedding, they were great.

Lily

John "Bonzo" Bonham from Led Zeppelin?

Ted

Yes, Lily, my cousin, the drummer from Led Zeppelin, who died in 1980, got married two months ago.

Lily

Look, I... I can't sign off on a band I've never even seen. We... we don't even know if they can play our song. They're... they're going to have to come over here and audition.

Marshall

Baby, The 88 don't audition. They're, like, the Wiggles of wedding bands.

Lily

Well, then... I have to say no.

Marshall

Baby, they're only holding the date until Monday.

Lily

Well... well, are they playing anywhere this weekend?

Marshall

Let me check their Website.

Lily

What?

Ted

Lily, you're being a wee bit intense about this band thing.

Lily

Intense? I have a wedding to plan in nine weeks for 200 people. Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt and consume this coffee table, I need you to roll with it, okay?

Ted

Wow.

Barney

Guys! I just tasted an amazing caterer.

Lily

We already have a caterer.

Barney

Oh, right. You're getting married. You see what I did there? Took a...

Marshall

It looks like The 88 are playing at a high school prom in New Jersey tomorrow.

Lily

A prom? Can... can we go to that?

Marshall

Yeah, we'll just call the high school, they'll let us stand in the back and watch.

Lily

Yeah. No, they won't.

Marshall

Why not?

Lily

'Cause it turns out we're not in high school.

Barney

No sweat, we'll just sneak in.

Marshall

We're not sneaking in to a high school prom.

Lily

Yes, we are. It's the only way.

Ted

You're getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped.

Lily

It's nine weeks till the wedding. At this point, I'd say yes to just about anything.

Barney

Well...

Lily

No, Barney.

Ted from 2030

And so, Aunt Lily had the plan to crash the prom.

Robin

I'll go with you.

Lily

Really?

Robin

Yeah. I never got to go to my prom. We always had field hockey nationals in the spring.

Barney

Lesbian.

Robin

The cough is supposed to cover the "lesbian."

Barney

No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate.

Lily

Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?

Barney

Please, I'm ageless, Scherbotsky just needs a good night's sleep, and you've got "statutory" written all over your body.

Ted

Hey, why don't we all go?

Robin

I don't know-- more people might be harder to sneak in. We don't want to mess things up for Lily.

Ted

Yeah, you're right. Besides, Marshall and I have been planning on having a guy's night out before the wedding. Why don't we just make it tomorrow night?

Marshall

Sounds awesome. We should go out and just get freakin' weird.

Ted

Yeah.

Marshall

'Cause, you know, you be a bad, bad man, and I be an outlaw.

Barney

Wow. Hey, Thelma, Louise, y'all don't drive off no cliffs now, ya hear? Lame! But seriously, leave me a message, and we'll meet up later.

Lily

All right, what do you think?

Barney

Horrible.

Lily

You're gonna make such a great dad.

Barney

You look so classy and nice. You're going to stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris? They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home.

Lily

Well, we have to get in. I have to see this band, 'cause we have to make a decision by Monday, 'cause I'm getting married in 71 days, and we still don't have...

Robin

Shh. Sweetie, just focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now, you just have to dress like a whore and that's it.

Lily

All right.

Barney

That's the spirit. Now, ladies, slut up!

Robin

I never thought this would be a bad thing, but my wardrobe just isn't slutty enough.

Lily

I didn't know I still had this.

Robin

What?

Lily

The dress I wore to my actual prom.

Scooter

Dude, you are the hottest girl at this prom, and not like in a corporate, plastic way. Like, truly, truly hot. Like a hot soul.

Lily

Aw, you look great, too, Scooter.

Scooter

So big news. I heard from umpire school. I'm in!

Lily

Oh, disco! I am so happy for you.

Scooter

You mean happy for us, right, babe?

Lily

Scooter, you're gonna be an umpire someday.

Scooter

No, baby. We're gonna be an umpire someday.