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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any redditors go from being high strung to being relaxed or chill?
POST: I'm currently a pretty high strung person. I work hard and go hard at school. I'm top ranked in my class, but I don't get as much sleep as I can. I always do my homework, and I'm thorough as hell on my work (not a person that just blazes through my homework). I fear sometimes that if I don't do all of my homework, I won't grasp the concept. But, i've never tried not doing my work and still grasping a class. I just haven't bothered trying.
Recently, people have told me that i'm pretty high strung and I stress myself out. I am happy with my hard work and proud of what I do, but still, I need to learn how to chill a bit and not take things to seriously. Any redditors here start out like me, as a motivated, but somewhat high strung person who learned to chill out a bit. I do pretty well socially and get along well with others. I joke and make jokes, so it's not so much serious in that regard.
My hopes are that in college (this fall) i'll learn to know how much I need to do and how much I don't.
Any help reddit?
TL;DR: TL;DR: A pretty high strung redditor trying to find a way to tone it down without becoming a bum.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Suggestions of interesting general knowledge topics that you must/should know?
POST: **BACKGROUND**: My girlfriend came to the States from China five years ago (she was 18). She never really paid attention to school work when she was in China and couldn't speak English until she got here. Since then, she's worked hard and now she's in nursing school (final year), speaks English well (7 out of 10 proficiency), and very focused in her goals. But she lacks general knowledge outside of her area of study (biology, medicine, etc.). A few examples...
* She knows that bad things happened to Jews during the Holocaust but doesn't know who exactly Hitler is.
* She doesn't know much about our solar system beyond the earth, the moon, and the sun.
* She's an atheist out of convenience and not because of reason. (I'm agnostic myself.)
You get the idea. Don't get me wrong though--she's smart. She's just not very well-exposed because of her childhood.
And the other day she said, "I want to be a more complete person. I wanna know about the things you laugh about and I don't get them. I want to have some insides." (Those are her exact words.)
I promised her that during this winter break, we'd spend an hour a day googling around on a topic. I think that'd be a really nice thing to do for her. Now, I myself came to the States six years ago as an international student, albeit with a better educational background than hers, and I'm sure I can also benefit from the experience.
So I'm turning to you Reddit, for things that you think we both should know/learn about. It doesn't have to be an intense learning experience. Just random facts/history/science.
TL;DR: TL;DR: My girlfriend is a high school student who's not well-exposed to the basics of science, history, and math, and wants to know about things you enjoy. What are some of the things you think she should know?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 24F with my Ex-Boyfriend 24M, dated for few months 4 years ago, he has Leukemia.
POST: Hey. I'll try to keep this short. I'm having a hard time seeing the situation objectively, and would like some advice.
We'll call him Richard, and I broke up about 4 and a half years ago. We hadn't dated very long when he moved away for school. We decided to call it off. It was amicable. After this I started dating my current boyfriend, We'll call him Chandler. We'll have been dating for 4 years this fall. We're very happy.
Through out this time, Richard has made it very clear that he still has strong feelings for me. Because of this I've kept him at a distance as not to put any strain on my relationship with Chandler.
Recently, Last July, Richard contacted me saying he was sick and wanted to hang out. He didn't know what was ailing him yet, but was nervous. He promised he just needed a friend. His engagement just fell through as well, so he was feeling extra vulnerable. Chandler, not being the jealous type, agreed that being a shoulder for Richard was the right thing to do.
This arrangement quickly went south as his feelings towards me were not well hidden and I felt like I was being sneaky, even though I was keeping Chandler well informed. It ended with Richard leaving me a message confessing his love and asking me to leave Chandler. We hadn't talked since..
Until today. Richard found out he has Leukemia, he wants to talk.
TL;DR: TL;DR: ex-bf of 4 years has Leukemia. wants to talk via text. need advise on how to proceed with it without putting strain on current relationship.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] Gf[20] told me that she still wants to be together, but wants to experience college life [LDR]
POST: So I drove about 2 hours to see her yesterday. We've been fighting a lot here and there and she's been spending the night over at this guys house that she just met. We've had some problems with her cheating in the past, but we've gotten through them. Now, she tells me that she loves me, and wants to be with me, but also wants to experience the "college life."
She graduates in a year, and expects us to be able to pick this up when she moves back. I told her that I can't just have her spending the night at other guys houses by herself.
When we talk about it in the phone, she tells me thing like "I love you baby I was running errands with Chris. I listened to your message and I really want to make this work. Baby"
She says that she wants our relationship to work, but isn't willing to actually make changes.
Reddit, how do I start seeing the bad side of people, and stop trying to be the only one to make any effort? 95% of me says to break it off because she doesn't care, but that last 5% seems to think that people can change and things will go back to how they were a year ago.
TL;DR: TL;DR: Gf still wants to be with me, but wants to experience college life. I'm not sure how to go about this.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] have been dating a girl [24F] for one month, she recently broke off an engagement with her ex of 4 years. Am I a rebound?
POST: I have been dating this girl for one month now and it has been perfect. We always have fun together, she seems super into me and often tells me how attracted she is to me. The sex is great and our chemistry is very strong.
With that said, I am concerned I am being used as a rebound, or as a temporary means to comfort her. She ended her engagement a few months ago with her ex of 4 years (they were engaged for 1 year).
Here's the first red flag I noticed: For the first 3 weeks of dating her, she never told me she was engaged to this guy, she only referred to him as her "ex boyfriend". I didn't find out they were engaged until I looked at her Facebook page and where she still has dozens of photos of them together and all her friends congratulating her on the engagement. I found this odd because she had talked about him alot but intentionally hid the fact that they were engaged, only ever referring to him as her "ex boyfriend". I asked her why she never told me and her response was that "she didn't want to scare me away". Her ex bought a dog with her, so they take turns sharing the dog for a week. So they are still in touch with each other and she still talks to his parents about logistical things as well.
I have no problem with her talking to her ex fiance about logistics, because we aren't in an exclusive relationship. However, this girl keeps telling me how much she likes me, but when I asked her what she thought "about us" she sounded confused and responded "well... I like hanging out with you" which was strange considering how much she professes her feelings for me. I like this girl alot. My concern is that I'm a rebound and she will ditch me when she gets bored or finds someone better. Should I be concerned about anything here or am I overthinking?
TL;DR: TL;DR: Been dating this girl for 1 month, she is just broke off an engagement to her ex which she didn't tell me about for the first 3 weeks. She says she likes me alot, yet won't commit to anything. Should I be concerned or am I just overthinking?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Ex GF [21] broke up with Me [23 M] after a 1 year long relationship. She thinks she might be gay. Any advice?
POST: My ex girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago after cheating on me with another woman. She avoided the truth about the cheating for a couple of weeks and when she finally told me she said she wanted to "figure things out for herself" and has since been with the same woman multiple times since.
Tonight she said that she thinks she might be gay and might have been for awhile. When I asked her how long, she said she didn't know. I was really hoping for another chance with her after some time had passed. I know that I have no control over who she is attracted to or the way she feels, but I am still bummed and I still have all of these feelings of love for her. There are even things she does like asking me to tell her how beautiful she is, telling me she is lonely at night. Any advice?
TL;DR: TL;DR: Ex Girlfriend broke up with me after a year long relationship. She recently told me she thinks she might be gay and I still love her to pieces.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Ideas for K1 (fiancé visa) small destination wedding
POST: Dear people on Reddit,
My husband is American and I'm a foreigner so we applied for a K1 visa which is basically " a visa issued to the fiancé or fiancée of a United States citizen to enter the United States. A K-1 visa requires a foreigner to marry his or her U.S. citizen petitioner within 90 days of entry, or depart the United States."
With this visa I need to get married in the USA and I cannot leave USA until I adjust my status, which can takes several months. This means I can't leave USA to go to a honeymoon or to do a second wedding in my home country.
The thing is that I have lived in several countries and have friends and family all around the world so I don't even know how to start planning something. I had several ideas of weddings in the USA but either my fiancé didn't like or it was too expensive. I wanted to get married in a cruise (to Alaska), fiancé agreed but there is something called Jones act that says that every cruise must pass through foreigner ports so even if we go to Alaska, the cruise would go through Canadian waters.
I really do not want a background wedding, although this would be a reasonable choice.
I would like to have some ideas of really small destination wedding because if we get married only with our parents (and fiance's closest friends/family) present, it would be the best option because I wouldn't be happy having huge a wedding where my best friends and family couldn't attend.
Fiancé lives in Mississippi and I would like to go to somewhere snowy (we are planning to get married during xmas holiday)
I feel like I'm going crazy trying to plan something in those circumstances. I always wanted to get married in a lake in Slovenia, in a cruise in Alaska, in a ice chapel in Finland or have an elopement wedding in Icelandic but unfortunately US immigration broke my heart haha
TL;DR: TL;DR: I need some ideas of how to plan a really small destination wedding (with only closest family) in the USA. Visa says I need to get married in the US and cannot leave the US for honeymoon.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my [18 F] of 2 years ,I need suggestions on how to be less insecure in my relationship
POST: Me and Girlfriend have been involved for 2 years now, and have been very involved and for the majority very happy spending our time together.
In March however, with stress from university and confusion about what i truly could cope with i broke up with her. For me this was the biggest mistake i ever made, and she knows that and so do i. To cut a long story short, after 3 months we finally got back together and have been great. Apart from one thing, I read her messages and I dont seem to be able to stop..
I know i shouldnt yet i do, and it genuinely isnt that i dont trust her! because i whole heartedly do, i can swear on that. However, i still find myself taking the opportunity occasuionally. Nearly every time i have done i have been caught (as i am very sloppy with covering my tracks and she is too clever for me). She has said that she isnt going to break up with me, and she is just going to change her passwords (which i think is a great idea).
Basically, I'm a very insecure person on the interior and I KNOW that this cant carry on as it is causing me to check her messages.i need to be proactive. Any suggestions on how to feel better about myself and not doubt that im enough anymore?
TL;DR: TL;DR: I need help being less insecure after almost 2 years of being together with my girlfriend and im a very insecure person
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: A girl who I'd love to know.
POST: I'm a little hung up. There was a cute girl whom I've seen around my university's campus and my work a few different times (pretty much only in passing). She was my waitress at a restaurant/bar I went to the other day and I was feeling a connection. Like a legitimate one. Smiles and shining eyes, giddiness on my part. I didn't really have an opportunity to make anything of it other than the simple flirting and joke making. I had a few drinks, she complimented my choice of beer. We locked eyes a couple times across the room while I ate. She's also a friend of a friend but I didn't know that at the time. I don't know, I felt a connection, and she totally seems like my type. So I tipped well, and left my number with "We should get a drink" scribbled on the small piece of paper that holds the silverware.
Granted I'm sure she gets this all the time working in a sports bar so I can't really expect anything. [I'm just up in the wee small hours of the morning thinking about a girl.]( She's extremely cute. Has a nice sense of humor. Gorgeous eyes that could light up a small town.
Havin' a crush can be crushing. Hell it's only been a few days but the feeling in the pit of my stomach isn't fleeting. I played my cool while I was there as I didn't want to make it too clear that I was interested. Maybe she didn't get the note. Maybe she did and is waiting, unsure. Maybe I'm absolutely (obviously) overthinking it haha. I just want nothing more than to get a text and find out more about her. Or at least that she's thought of me.
TL;DR: TL;DR: A girl may have brushed me off. I'm feeling slightly over-analytical.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Do you have to decide whether or not to answer calls or text from your SO?
POST: **30 year old guy looking for a reality check here:** When the girl I'm seeing (also 30) calls me, I answer without hesitation (unless I'm in the gym, in the shower, or at a movie). When she leaves me a voicemail, I always call her back. When she texts, I respond as soon as it's convenient, even if just to say I'm busy or I don't feel like talking.
We've been on-and-off for a year but things have gotten serious in the last three months (saying we love each other, discussing living together, etc.). When we were "off" I didn't contact her often, but always answered when she called or sent a text since we've been friends for years.
Last week she stopped answering my calls and texts. At first I assumed she was busy with work, but she was still posting and commenting on Facebook regularly. I was worried enough by Sunday that I asked one of her friends if she knew what was going on. Her friend said she didn't think anything was wrong, but told my SO I'd asked which caused her to finally talk to me again.
Her explanation was that she always has to think about whether or not to answer when I call or reply when I text, and that (for no specific reason) she had just been deciding not to answer recently. I was flabbergasted because (unless I'm incredibly busy or upset) it would never occur to me to not answer her calls or texts.
TL;DR: TL;DR: I answer every call or text from my SO without hesitation. She says she has to decide to answer, even when she's not busy or upset. What do you do? Could you be with someone who does the opposite?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: How to pickup girls at college parties? How to keep her interested?
POST: I'm currently a freshman, and haven't spent a single sober weekend without going to parties friday/saturday and have made tons of friends through them. I always end up meeting women and talking to them, but i always hit the wall, where i can't think of anything more to talk about, and we just sort of stand there awkwardly until we slowly move away from each other. My friends always find some kind of common ground with the girls they meet at parties, but my interests are a bit....odd with the crowds that go to the house parties. For example, my hobbies include things like audio hardware/android software and hardware/more experimental or "hipster" music(oneohtrix point never or animal collective to name some of the more popular artists i listen to). Do you guys have any good general questions that could keep a conversation going? or any comments i should drop in to give a "clue" of what im trying to go for? thanks in advance for the answers!
TL;DR: TL;DR: how to keep a conversation going with a girl at a party when you have no common interests? something to say to keep the convo going?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me and my friend (16F/M). Am I being cruel/leading him on?
POST: I have this good friend, we'll call him Steve. I really like him. But for various reasons (namely that I'm not allowed to, but also because I'm somewhat busy with school, volunteering, scholarship essays, etc) I don't want us to go out. I've told him this. I've said I like him and would like to date if we were older (and not about to leave for college in the next year), but right now I just want to be friends. I've told him this multiple times, also that he should date whomever because I won't want to date for at least several years (this part was just something I told him, I don't have some hard and fast dating rule, besides 'not now.') (For the record, he did date someone after I said this, but they broke up like a week ago and he asked if I still just wanted to be friends.)
In retrospect, should I have lied about liking him? I don't wang to lead him on. I guess I am and I hate myself for that. But I didn't want to lie and pretend I don't like him. Sometimes we hug and hold hands, which I know is a relationship thing, but I really like it! Should I stop?
Am I being mean and cruel here? Should I pretend to not like him so that he isn't possibly holding onto some hope that I'll change my mind? I think I've communicated it but I think in the back of his mind he might be holding out for 'us' even though I've said not to.
TL;DR: TL;DR: I told him I like him but I don't want to date him while I'm in college. He dated someone else, I felt bad for him, he asked if I still just wanted to be friends, I said I did. Am I being mean/cruel here?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I trust him again?
POST: My boyfriend and I are in our early 20’s. We’ve been dating for 2 months now. A month ago I found out he had been sexting and being generally flirtatious with a girl he had just met. At that point I did not break up with him.
A few days ago I found out he had lied to me again. At that point I immediately broke up with him without giving it too much thought. Anyway, I got back together with him shortly after (my decision completely)
I want it to work out, Reddit, I really do. But I still can’t shake the bad feelings of betrayal. Its really done a number on my self esteem. I’m very paranoid that anytime a girl flirts with him he will just do the same thing again. Girls will be inevitably flirting with him again because it happens often even when I’m there. When we go out to eat, waitresses openly flirt with him infront of me and then practically ignore me. Obviously he handles it well and doesn’t reciprocate, I cant just help but be really bothered by it. And cant even imagine what its like when im NOT around. Basically im paranoid about his behaviour with other women.
Since getting back together, things have been normal. We have a good time together. But we haven’t figured out how to fix the situation. Hes been really good about it because hes been saying he’ll do whatever I ask of him. The problem is, I don’t KNOW what he can do to earn my trust back, because obviously everything he says I have a hard time believing it. What do Reddit? What can we do to fix this?
TL;DR: TL;DR: boyfriend lied a few times about his relationship and its too complicated to trust him. I dont know what to do.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] was told by my supervisor [30M] that I had to work overtime
POST: On mobile sorry.
I have been working inventory for a warehouse for about 8 months. My supervisor is a lot of an asshole.
Recently I have been picking up hours and working weekends on for my normally 8-4:30 Monday to Friday job because we have been moving places.
This past week has been busy for me, we've been working on the move to the new warehouse and I've been busy outside of work since my mom was recently admitted to the hospital and I've been planning my best friends birthday party.
Yesterday I had stayed late and I worked today (saturday) from 8-2:30. When I went to tell my supervisor that I was leaving at 2:30 he got mad at me. I wanted to go home because it was hot and I was exhausted carrying around heavy ass boxes all day. I'm heat sensitive and my job is usually counting so I wasn't used to the physical labour. When I told him I was leaving he started saying that the bosses said everyone had to be on hand and everyone was exhausted and hot so I should stop complaining (we were talking is his very cool office and half my co-workers weren't there, neither were the bosses) and that I had to stay. I stood my ground and said I was doing him a favour by sticking around and that I had already over my 40 hours. After a few minutes of arguing he just told me to go home and asked if I would work Sunday and since I already had plans to visit my mom I said I couldn't and he just gave me a look and told me to come in at 8 Monday.
He's never gotten so upset with me before, should I have stayed late?
TL;DR: TL;DR: my boss tried to chew me out for not working another two hours after I had gotten my 40 hours and I'm not sure I'll get in trouble for refusing to stay
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [now 21M] Forced to break up with my gf [now 20F] because of my parents 2 years ago, remained best friends, now I feel like starting all over. Should I and how?
POST: Might as well give you the full story. I was 19 at the time and she was 18. We were good friends in high school and once we graduated, we didn't see each other much. 2 months after graduation we both get invited to a party, Hooked up, and then after we started to talk to each other. We found out that we have a lot in common and we started dating for two months. Her parents were really nice to me but my parents didn't like her because according to them **"she was not good enough for me".** Basically they told me to break up with her or else I would get disowned and I would lose my only family and means of support. So I broke up with her after a month of being in a relationship. Luckily this was on good terms so we stayed best friends for the last 2 years, since we would spend it talking well into the night, playing multiplayer games together and hanging out behind my parents back.
Now I currently am on my 3rd year of college and recently turned 21. I have been dating other women but its been not going so well. She has tried dating but her shyness keeps her from meeting new men.
Just yesterday, she came over to my dorm to spend a night with me on spring break. We had a lot of fun and surprisingly had sex in the morning. Basically its been on my mind all day, I feel that I should start all over. Since now I am older and more independant that I do not need my parents support to survive, except that they are buying me a car this summer, the last thing they will do for me.
I know that I should wait till summer if I ask her to start all over. I do like her and I am not sure if she has the same feelings for me two years later. She has told me about an ex that has tried to get back with her and that she was extremely annoyed by the situation. But is this the right thing to do?
TL;DR: TL;DR: I [now 21M] and her [now 20F] forced to break up a short relationship by my parents 2 years ago, remained best friends, got to know her very well. Now thinking of starting all over.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it selfish to have kids, if you have a history of auto-immune and bi-polar disorders in your family?
POST: I've always thought I wanted to have kids, when I get to the right age and find the right woman.
Recently my mother admitted to being bi-polar at the age of 55 and has begun to seek treatment. Her mom (diagnosed in her 30s) and her brother (diagnosed in his 20s) were both severely bi-polar. The majority of my paternal family is medicated for much less severe mood disorders (lots of prozac).
My sister has Crohn's disease, an autoimmune disorder that causes inflammation in the entire gastrointestinal tract. My paternal grandmother had similar gastrointestinal issues, but went undiagnosed. My paternal aunt either has Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative colitis (a very similar disorder). All three had acid-reflux at young ages.
I know this may not make a difference, but I am ethically an 100% ashkenazi jew. All my relatives are from eastern europe, and ashkenazi's are particularly prone to these physical and emotional ailments. I am an atheist so faith will not play a role in who I marry or whether or not to have kids.
Is it selfish for me to want to have kids? Am I subjecting them to live an extremely painful life whether physically or emotionally?
They would have elevated probabilities of having a hereditary disorder and as you can see my genes aren't great. I still have a while to decide, but I want to see what people thought about my situation.
TL;DR: TL;DR: Is it selfish to have kids if you have a history of auto-immune and bi-polar disorders in your family?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] am having trouble getting over him [27M]
POST: So without going into great detail about this guy, we met online, and we had been talking for a while. It was great, there was a mutual attraction we had a LOT in common. I had great hopes of meeting the guy, and all of a sudden things changed. He distanced himself a little, but then slowly came back and we resumed talking. We talked about everything and I was always happy to hear from him. Up until he told me that he started seeing another girl. He apologized and said he had no intent on hurting me, and he really did like me but he had to be realistic in that we were too far apart and it may never have worked out. I couldn't deal with it, so I told him I needed some space.
The thing about it is that I want to get over him, and move on, but I want to stay friends with him. Despite the fact that I'm left heartbroken, he was honest with me from the beginning, and I respect that a lot. This is a guy I could talk to all day and not get tired of him, and he feels the same about me. He's a really great guy and I want to keep him in my life but I'm having difficulty letting go of him in the romantic sense.
It's been a week now since we've spoken and I miss him every day. And I get so close to messaging him, but then back out because I know I'm not ready.
Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this sort of situation?
TL;DR: TL;DR: Met a guy online, we hit it off, things changed, he started seeing another girl, I want to get over him but I don't want to lose him as a friend.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [32F] is still close to her ex [26M] and it is very hard for me [22M] to deal with
POST: We have been dating for just over 3 years now, and from day one her ex has been in her life. I'm normally not a jealous person and she's free to talk to whoever she wants, but her ex makes me so uncomfortable. Sometimes he'll call her up to go out to dinner and they won't get back home until late, and 90% of the time he's rude to me. My gf says he's just fooling around. He calls her all the time and when they hang out at our place they always talk about ''old times'' and are very touchy feely.
Their closeness is making me paranoid. I don't want to be that annoying jealous boyfriend, but I do want to confront her about the situation since it does upset me. Any advice on how I can approach her without looking like a dick?
TL;DR: TL;DR: my girlfriend is still very close to her ex and it upsets me, how can I discuss this with her without being an asshole?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm hooking up with a girl who is leading on her ex,it doesn't feel good, what should I do?
POST: Backstory: I met a girl while studying abroad, and we started hooking up in the first couple weeks.
I like her for a lot of reasons, she's smart, cute, and apparently was into me, but I don't think I'd ever want to date this girl for other reasons that make us incompatible, and on top of that I have attachment issues, I could fall in love with anything that moved. I have some SERIOUS cognitive dissonance going on.
I enjoy hooking up with her, but she has intimacy issues so a lot of the time, I don't think she enjoys it.
On top of all of this, I know she maintains contact with her ex, who she didn't really break up with, she used the breakup as a tool to get him to change, and apparently they started talking again right before she went abroad.
I know she texts/sexts with him frequently, talks about how much she misses him, etc., very intimate stuff. I should mention I have major issues with jealousy which I'm working on in therapy.
Meanwhile, I have developed feelings for her, and despite my better judgement, I do love this girl, even though I'm not in love with her, if that makes sense. My brain knows what's good for me, and my heart is a desperate motherfucker.
We are pretty intimate, but I can't help feeling that I'm just a surrogate while she's here, and she is only into me because I'm the best option for her right now, I know she plans on getting back together with him. I didn't really have a chance from the start, and I just feel used and disappointed.
At the same time, I want to enjoy the FWB situation as best I can and live in the moment, considering I know she isn't right for me.
This is more of a vent than anything else, but any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: TL;DR: I'm hooking up with a girl who has an attachment disorder and has an ex she's using me for. I have feelings for her, but I don't think she feels the same towards me. I like her, but she doesn't feel the same.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How many times does your gf/wife think she might be pregnant because her period timing is off.
POST: I'm pretty sure this type of question doesn't belong in this subreddit but I don't know where else to ~~rant~~ talk about this. You see I've been married for 3 years and I can't count how many times I've heard my wife freak out about her period and how she might be pregnant. She did it to me again the other day and was like this "this never happened before, my period is always on time". So of course I had to act concerned. I mean it wouldn't be good timing at all being that I'm deployed and won't be able to be with her long term for another year. I just got back from seeing her for two weeks. She had an IUD and she thought I had penetrated through it and knocked it out or something. It's not like I don't care and I don't believe her but when you get told this so much, and she isn't the first one to say that to me, but it tends to wear off its effect on me after a while. We already have a beautiful daughter who just turned 4 but right now wouldn't be good timing for another one. I love my wife to death, I'm just saying do we have to go through this again?
TL;DR: TL;DR: My wife always thinks she might be pregnant and I'm afraid that might put our daughter at risk.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with one of best friends [24 M]. He wants me to go to his graduation but I'm 3 hours away. I don't really want to go but I'm feeling shitty about it.
POST: One of my close friends is graduating next week. I've known him since the seventh grade. I work a job that gives me 3 days weekends often in return for longer hours the following week. His graduation falls on one of my weekends off. He asked me to come a few weeks ago and I told him, I didn't know my schedule at the time ( which was true). He mentioned it again last week.
I'm not interested because I honestly believe graduations are overhyped. I wasn't interested in my own last year. I see it only as a formality. I haven't said anything yet but I'm really not keen on driving 3 hours there and back in the course of a weekend for something that I'm not interested in. I feel really shitty because he came to mine - granted he was only an hour away at the time. I know I have been drifting away from my friends ever since I moved away for a job and am wondering if this is a symptom of it.
TL;DR: TL;DR: My friend wants me to take the time to travel to his graduation but I don't really want to. Should I be?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] boyfriend [29M] of 1 year semi-broke up with me, then immediately changed his mind. Need some guidance.
POST: A few days ago, my boyfriend who I love a ton and see myself with forever semi-broke up with me. He told me he was scared he couldn't make me happy enough... that I needed too much and he wasn't sure he could give it to me. He said he thought this was something innate in me, that couldn't change.
I completely broke down, but then after an hour or so we realized this was a changeable thing (I've been taking him for granted. He does the most amazing things for me all the time, and I've just gotten used to it so haven't been appreciating it like I need to), so he decided he did not want to break up. He realized he should've just brought this issue up to me as a discussion a month ago when he started to feel it, but he didn't know how and was scared. He's introverted and not confrontational at all, whereas I bring up every issue I have with him because I think that's healthy. He promised that next time something comes up, he'll tell me right away instead of letting it build up in his head.
We had an amazing weekend together. He told me I'm the love of his life, that he knows 200% now that he wants to be with me, and that he made a huge, dumb mistake by trying to break up.
I'm ecstatic that we aren't breaking up, but I'm just so confused and so blind sighted. The thought that keeps running through my head is, how can we make it long term if he was willing to give me up? How do I get over that?
So if there's anyone out there who has gone through a similar situation, I'd love some insight.
TL;DR: TL;DR: Boyfriend semi-broke up with me, but we stayed together. Now I'm wondering how to get over it.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [18] wants to save sex until marriage, I [M, 19] don't
POST: We've only been dating for a month, and I recently learned that my girlfriend doesn't want to have sex until marriage. That's her choice, and it doesn't look like she will easily change her mind.
My options, as I see it are twofold:
1) Convince her to change her mind
2) Break up
The obvious third option (marry her) is out of the question.
I have no idea how to manage (1) because she is pretty adamant in her decision, but I can always try.
I have no idea how to manage (2) without looking like a complete asshole who only dates girls for sex.
TL;DR: TL;DR: My girlfriend wants to save sex until marriage, I don't and I don't know how to handle this delicate situation
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Just busted my dad for surfing porn and being totally incompetent in clearing browser history. How should I confront/teach him?
POST: So I just discovered that my dad visits a lot of porn sites. At first I was disgusted, but then I just accepted the fact as every man with an internet connection probably does this. In the end I was just shocked to discover how bad he was at covering traces, and now I feel a responsibility to do something.
I was visiting my family to babysit my brother and was using his work-laptop for surfing reddit. My dad had obviously completely forgotten to clear any browser history, as just typing "red" in the address field resulted in 40+ redtube links (classic). I then found that he had marked some links as favourites, only to discover that he had a whole folder named as some work-related thing like "planning 2011" filled with his favourite links. I.e. he's using tactics I used as a 12-year-old.
I feel like I should do something, as both his working and his private life could take serious damage of this. I have a teen sister who uses his computer regularly and probably wouldn't have much trust in her dad after discovering he's into anal porn. For a second I thought she was the guilty one, but the suspects complete lack of knowledge in private browsing or internet-etiquette makes me sure it's an old person.
I have a good relationship with my dad, but this isn't really a subject that can be brought up over a lunch, and we usually tend to avoid discussing difficult matters. Direct confrontation would probably just result in total denial and a very stiff dinners in the future. All I really want is to prevent him from damaging his life, but I won't give him a private lesson in surfing porn.
How should I confront him and teach him?
TL;DR: TL;DR: My dad can't use the private-browsing feature and surfs a lot of porn.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex is coming to visit
POST: Background:
Me - Male, 20 years old
Her - Female (duh), 19 years old
Length of relationship - 9 months (senior year of high school)
Length of friendship - 2 1/2 years
Story:
After breaking up during our first semester of college, we have reconnected off and on since then. Every few or so months we'll start texting again and it leads to meeting and a resurfacing of emotions. Recently though we've started to mature a fair bit and she told me that she realized after being with someone after me that I was the person who made her happiest and she thinks she was meant to be with me. Nonetheless, we try to continue our pattern of talking a little every few months to keep things from accelerating too fast, since we both agreed we need time to mature some more before we try to be in relationships with *anyone*. I think she is sincere and she does act like I am an important aspect of her life, regardless of the status of our relationship.
We recently started communicating again and she said numerous times that she misses me and really wants to see me. I invited her to come visit me at my new place on Thursday and spend the night. We reminisced on our past relationship and how we always fell asleep facing each other so we could feel each other breathing and stuff like that, and it seems like something we both want to experience again. I can imagine that that may lead to other things as they usually do, but this is where my question lies.
How can we experience these things again and enjoy each other's company without compromising our relationship? I've never quite understood how two people can leave emotions out of an interaction like this, but apparently a lot of people do. She seems to be able to do it too, but I don't see what I'm missing. What's the secret?
TL;DR: TL;DR: Me and girlfriend of a few months have a mutual attraction. We like each other and she likes me. We want to have a good time and start seeing each other again, but we're concerned about compromising our relationship. What does it mean to have a good time with someone you love?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mother [43/F] does not respect me [19/F] or anyone else in our family.
POST: Everything she says and does to me is meant to belittle and invalidate, whether it’s telling me I’m dirty and lazy for not cleaning my room, throwing my possessions across the floor because “they’re in the wrong place,” or comparing me to her coworker’s daughter (also my roommate), who is “more considerate and respectful to her parents.” I’m moving out for college in a couple of weeks, so at least I can escape.
However, my brother [14/M] is not as fortunate as I am. Because he’s in high school and has a history of “sub-par” grades, my mother is stricter with him than she was with me. She limits his access to electronics because she doesn’t trust him to use them responsibly. In the past, she has completely smashed a laptop and ipod because my brother spent too much time on them. We’ve been going to the library every day since my mother’s constant hovering is affecting my brother’s ability to study at home.
Even my stepdad [42/M] is a victim. He is Mexican, so the racist stereotype of Mexicans being lazy and stupid is ever present in her traditional Asian mind. Whenever we have guests or relatives over, my stepdad is told to say that he is Colombian, Italian, or other ethnicities that don’t have the same stigma as Mexicans. My stepdad has repeatedly told my mother how awful this makes him feel, but she doesn’t listen. She criticizes him for every little thing, while he just puts his head down and takes it. I’ve never once heard her say “I love you” or use any term of endearment.
My mother is also a victim of domestic abuse and a toxic marriage, if that helps to explain things, and her personality definitely changed after the divorce.
So reddit, is there anything I can do to help my brother and stepdad deal with my mother before I leave for college?
TL;DR: TL;DR: Mother doesn’t treat anyone in the household with respect. She was in an abusive marriage a few years ago and has changed a lot since her divorce. How can I help my brother and stepdad deal with her before I leave for college?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] new roommate [26M] just found out an friend/ex-lover [19F] died of an overdose. What's the best way to approach this situation?
POST: He was intimate with this girl in the past, and she used to live here. She was doing heroin. She started doing it a lot, heading toward junkie status, so he kicked her out. He's beating himself up because he drove her somewhere to get some for her birthday, 3 months ago. From what he's told me, she wasn't doing it a lot then. I guess she really spiraled in the last few months.
I officially moved in yesterday. I haven't known him that long. This sort of situation is very new to me. I have only known a few junkies (never friends, only acquaintances) and have never had a friend/lover/ex-lover die. He and I get along but we're not actually friends, yet I feel I have an obligation to comfort him through this, being his roommate and all. And I do feel bad for him. I'm sure losing someone you were intimate with is very hard. How do I approach and handle this situation?
For clarification purposes, I'm 99% positive he doesn't do any hard drugs. He seems to be strictly pot and alcohol. He actually just threw a roommate out because the guy started smoking crack. We live in a fairly urban part of the city, where these drugs are a bit more common. My roommate has a good head on his shoulders and knows not to mess around with people who do that stuff.
TL;DR: TL;DR: Roommate's friend/ex-lover is dead of an overdose. I've never had this happen to me or anyone near me. How do I comfort him as a roommate?
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: weird sex stories. we all have them, now lets share them.
POST: a while back i dated a girl who was seriously horny 24/7 (in retrospect this should have been a red flag). so one afternoon i'm over at her parents house watching a movie in the family room with her mom in attendance. we were cuddling under a blanket and before we could even get to the main dvd title menu, she had her hand in my pants. she gives me that "i'd like to fuck you right this very instant" look. we decide that it is a good time to go to the 2nd story loft to watch the movie there and leave her mom to her knitting down stairs.
we get to the couch as quickly as possible and proceed with some innocent fooling around. things are getting heated as she straddles me and proceeds to climb on top of my lap. just as she reaches for my junk, her brother comes running up the stairs as i am half way inside of her. he gives us the [macaulay culkin] look of shock and runs back down stairs. my girlfriend runs after him as she pulls her pants up and grabs him by the arm begging him not to tell her mother. she brings him back upstairs and we all decide ice cream sounds nice right about now. so we go out and get him some cheapy sonic ice cream, come back home, set him up with a kiddy movie in the family room, and then my girlfriend and i finish what we had started.
TL;DR: TL;DR: girlfriend's brother comes running up stairs with a warning from my girlfriend that mom would be mad if she found out. we get him ice cream and proceed to have hot sexy times.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my _gf__ [19 F] duration, when do you fall out of love with somebody.
POST: Hey,
I dont really want to write a long story, just wana hear more what people think about when you have fallen out of love.
I have been dating the perfect girl for 10 months and i think i have fallen out of love. She is still in love with me, and shes still perfect. I feel like i have been given the choice of breakign up the most perfect relationship ever just because im kinda not into it anymore ("its not you its me") or continuing with her. What if a girl is 98% of what you look for in another person... is that enough?
kisses,
Kev
TL;DR: TL;DR: am i a bitch for falling out of love with the perfect person. Should i just keep dating her because... shes perfect.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: My gf (18) wants to break up because she is leaving my country
POST: Before starting this relationship i was kinda of an asshole. When we started dating she(F) was 15 years old and i was 18 years old(M)(3.5Y Age gap), at first i was a bit worried i would create pain on her because i wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, but as the time passed by, our relationship grew, things got as perfect as i could define. We always had a ghost in our relationship because she is not from my country, she lives in my country since 8 years old, she is from Brazil and i leave in Portugal. We were always afraid of the time where she had to come back, because all her family besides parents and younger brother lives in Brazil. When we made 2 years she went to Brazil for 1 month to visit the family and because of money issues i couldn't went with her, but our relationship surpassed it pretty well. Until we made 3 years our relationship was pretty damn good and nothing would ever say we would end. Last month she went to Germany to work for 1 month but before that we had some problems because of a former Girl friend.. We ended up being this whole month yelling at each other but in the end we got it, and she went back to Portugal. 3 days ago she says that her father wants to get back to Brazil in the next year, because of Portuguese crisis and the necessity to come to his country.. I was still recovering from our past issue and this was throw at our relationship... There is nothing i can do, because i'll end the university in 2 years and she is not in university yet.. She gave up on our relationship because she thinks there is nothing we can do, and she is thinking right now if we should break to stop further pain.. I don't know what to do, what to think .. I just can't think i can endure such pain right now.. Losing her is my worst nightmare, i cant sleep, i cant concentrate.. This text might be too difficult to read.. English is not my native language as you can tell and i just need to take this out of my chest..
TL;DR: TL;DR: Gf left me because her father wants to get back to Brazil because of Portuguese crisis and the necessity to come to his country.. I don't know what to do, what to think.. I just can't think i can endure such pain right now.. Losing her is my worst nightmare, i cant sleep, i
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to get out of an assignment
POST: So.. TIFU about fifteen minutes ago, when I was doing my 2000 word essay for school. I'm just sitting there, procrastinating away, about 400 words in. I have a glass of water in my hand, and I just think to myself, 'If I was to just.. give this glass of water.. the slightest tip.. I would have the perfect excuse for not doing this essay' (Keep in mind that this is very late at night and I'm incredibly sleep deprived). I have one hand supporting my face, and in one hand the glass of water. I start playing with the glass of water, tilting it so that it's almost tipping all the water out, then straightening it, then tipping it again (I'm so freakin bored). Guess what happens next? I accidentally tip half the fucking glass all over my keyboard. I PANIC SO FUCKING MUCH. I stand up frantically and hit my knee under the table (pretty hard), and I fall back onto my chair. I'm having a panic attack now. I grab the laptop, tip all the water out of it, shake it and wipe the keyboard on my bed. It's fucked. It's DEFINTELY fucked. I'm DEFINTELY FUCKED. But didn't I want this? I still have to do the damn assignment, but now I'll have an excuse for an extension. I don't think that a week's extension was worth a thousand dollars and all my work that I've done all semester. Then I realise.. whew.. that's all right.. my semester's work is fine.. it's all on Dropbox. It's all on Dropbox. It's all on Dropbox? IT'S ALL ON DROPBOX! ALL MY FUCKING WORK IS ON DROPBOX!
-_- kill me right now
TL;DR: TL;DR: TIFU by accidentily spilling half a glass of water all over my keyboard while trying to pretend that I was going to do a 2000 word essay. Now have an excuse for an extension and my work is all on Dropbox
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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Post: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How should I [23 F] let him [26 M] know I am no longer interested in dating?
POST: I know this is a very simple question, but this is the first time I've really "dated" in the conventional sense.
This guy is sort of a "friend of a friend" from a long time ago, so I would call him a long-time acquaintance. We recently saw each other at a bar, and he asked me out a few days after. We've been on two dates, and they actually went pretty well! But there are a few things going on that make me want to discontinue this.
1) I just ended a PAINFUL long-term relationship about a month ago. Even though I'm totally over the guy, I'm still a little messed up from the emotionally disasterous relationship itself. And this new guy is the "always in a serious relationship" type who is almost definitely looking for a serious gf.
2) I am seeing someone else. We are also just dating, but it's casual and fun, which is a lot more of what I'm looking for right now.
3) I just don't think we clicked! Unfortunately he thinks we REALLY did.......
Anyways, I'm not sure how much information I have to give him when explaining why I don't want to see him anymore, so this is one question I have.
My main question is HOW? He's ALWAYS texting me, and we don't spend any time talking on the phone or anything, so it might be weird to call. But it doesn't seem necessary to tell him in person or anything. Is it completely ridiculous for people our age to say "no thanks" to future dates via text? Obviously calling is a lot more stressful, but if it's the right thing to do, I will.
TL;DR: TL;DR: I'm not too familiar with dating, and I have no idea how to tell someone who's really interested that I don't want to date anymore.
Does this summary correctly capture the main points of the post? | 1 | [
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