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i 'd like to share with you a discovery that i made a few months ago while writing an article for italian wired i always keep my thesaurus handy whenever i 'm writing anything but
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i 'd already finished editing the piece and i realized that i had never once in my life looked up the word disabled to see what i 'd find let me read you the entry
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disabled adjective crippled helpless useless wrecked
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stalled maimed wounded mangled lame mutilated
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rundown worn out weakened impotent castrated paralyzed handicapped
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senile decrepit laid up done up done for done in cracked up counted out
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see also hurt useless and weak antonyms healthy strong capable
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i was reading this list out loud to a friend and at first was laughing it was so ludicrous but i just gotten past mangled
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and my voice broke and i had to stop and collect myself from the emotional shock
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uh and and impact that the assault from these words unleashed
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you know hum of course this is my raggedy old thesaurus i 'm thinking this must be an ancient print date right but in fact the print date was the early nineteen eighties
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when i would have been starting primary school and forming an understanding of myself outside the family unit and as related to the other kids and the world around me and needless to say thank god i wasn 't using a thesaurus back then
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i mean from this entry it would seem that i was born into a world that perceived someone like me to have nothing positive whatsoever going for them when in fact today
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i 'm celebrated for uh the opportunities and adventures my life has procured so uh i immediately
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went to look up the two thousand and nine uh online edition expecting to find a revision worth noting here 's the updated version of this entry
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unfortunately it 's not much better i find the the last two words under near antonyms particularly unsettling whole and wholesome
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so it 's not just about the words
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it 's what we believe about people when we name them with these words it 's about the values behind the words and how we construct those values our language affects our thinking
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and how we view the world and how we view other people in fact many ancient societies including the greeks and the romans believed that to utter a curse
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verbally was so powerful because to say the thing out loud brought it into existence
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so what reality do we want to call into existence a person who is limited or a person who 's empowered
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by casually doing something as simple as naming a person a child
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we might be putting lids and casting shadows on their power wouldn 't we want to open doors for them instead
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one such person who opened doors for me was my childhood doctor at the a i dupont institute in wilmington delaware his name is doctor pizzutillo
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hum it's an italian american whose name apparently was too difficult for most americans to pronounce so he went by doctor p and doctor p
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always wore really colorful bow ties and hum had the very perfect disposition to work with children
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i loved almost everything about my time spent at this hospital with the exception of my physical therapy sessions
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i had to do what seemed like innumerable repetitions of exercises with these thick elastic bands uh different colors you know
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to help build up my leg muscles and i hated these bands more than anything i hated them had names for them i hated them and
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you know i was already bargaining as a five year old child with doctor p to try to get out of doing these exercises unsuccessfully of course
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and one day he came in to my session hum exhaustive and unforgiving
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these sessions and he said to me wow aimee you are such a strong powerful little girl
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i think you 're going to break one of those bands when you do break it i 'm going to give you a hundred bucks now of course this this was a simple ploy
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on doctor p 's part to get me to do the exercises i didn 't want to do before the prospect of being the richest five year old in the second floor ward
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but what he effectively did for me was reshape an awful daily occurrence into a new and promising experience for me
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and i have to wonder today to what extent his vision and his declaration of me
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as a strong and powerful little girl shaped my own view of myself as an inherently strong powerful and athletic person well into the future
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this is an example of how adults in positions of power can ignite the power of a child
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but in the previous instances of those thesaurus entries our language isn 't allowing us to evolve into the reality that we would all want
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the possibility of an individual to see themselves as capable
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our language hasn 't caught up with the changes in our society many of which have been brought about by technology certainly from a medical standpoint
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my legs hum you know laser surgery for vision impairment uh titanium knee and hip replacements for aging bodies that are allowing people to more fully engage with their abilities and move beyond the limits that nature has imposed on them
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not to mention social networking platforms allow people to self identify to claim their own descriptions of themselves so they can go align with global groups of their own choosing
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so perhaps technology is revealing more clearly to us now what has always been a truth that everyone has something rare and powerful to offer our society
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and that the human ability to adapt is our greatest asset the human ability to adapt it 's an interesting thing because people
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have continually wanted to talk to me about overcoming adversity
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and i 'm going to make an admission this phrase never sat right with me and i always felt uneasy trying to answer people 's questions about it and i think i 'm starting to figure out why
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implicit in this phrase of overcoming adversity is the idea that success or happiness
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is about emerging on the other side of a challenging experience unscathed or unmarked by the experience
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as if my successes in life have come about from an ability to sidestep or circumnavigate the presumed pitfalls of a life with prosthetics or what other people perceive as my disability
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but in fact we are changed we are marked of course by a challenge whether physically emotionally or both and i am going to suggest that this is a good thing
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adversity isn 't an obstacle that we need to get around in order to resume living our life it 's part of our life
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and i tend to think of it like my shadow sometimes i see a lot of it sometimes there 's very little but it 's always with me
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and certainly i 'm not trying to diminish the impact the weight of a person 's struggle there is
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adversity and challenge in life and it 's all very real and relative to every single person but the question isn 't whether or not you 're going to meet adversity but how you 're going to meet it
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so our responsibility is not simply shielding those we care for from adversity but preparing them to meet it well
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and we do a disservice to our kids when we make them feel that they 're not equipped to adapt
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there 's an important difference and distinction between the objective medical fact of my being an amputee and the subjective societal opinion of whether or not i 'm disabled
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and truthfully the only real and consistent disability i 've had to confront is the world ever thinking that i could be described by those definitions
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in our desire to protect those we care about by giving them the cold hard truth about their medical prognosis
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or indeed a prognosis on the expected quality of their life we have to make sure that we don 't put the first brick in a wall that will actually
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disable someone perhaps the existing model of only looking at what is broken in you and how do we fix it
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serves to be more disabling to the individual than the pathology itself by not treating the wholeness of a person
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by not acknowledging their potency we are creating another ill on top of whatever natural struggle they might have
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we are effectively grading someone 's worth to our community so we need to see through the pathology and into the range of human capability
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and most importantly there 's a partnership between those perceived deficiencies and our greatest creative ability
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so it 's not about devaluing or negating these more trying times as something we want to avoid or sweep under the rug but instead to find those opportunities
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wrapped in the adversity so maybe the idea i want to put out there is not so much overcoming adversity as it is opening ourselves up to it
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embracing it grappling with it to use a wrestling term maybe even dancing with it
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and perhaps if we see adversity as natural consistent and useful we 're less burdened by the presence of it
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this year we celebrate the two hundreth birthday of charles darwin and it was one hundred and fifty years ago when writing about evolution that darwin illustrated i think a truth about the human character
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to paraphrase it 's not the strongest of the species that survives nor is it the most intelligent that survives it is the one that is most adaptable to change
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conflict is the genesis of creation from darwin 's work amongst others we can recognize that the human ability to survive and flourish
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is driven by the the struggle of the human spirit through conflict into transformation so again transformation adaptation is our greatest
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human skill and perhaps you know until we 're tested we don 't know what we 're made of maybe that 's what adversity gives us a sense of self a sense of our own power
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so we can give ourselves a gift we can re imagine adversity as something more than just tough times
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maybe we can see it as change adversity is just change that we haven 't adapted ourselves to yet
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i think the greatest adversity that we 've created for ourselves is this idea of normalcy
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now who 's normal there 's no normal there 's common there 's typical
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there 's no normal and would you want to meet that poor beige person if they existed i don 't think so if we can change this paradigm from one of
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achieving normalcy to one of possibility or potency to be even a little bit more dangerous we can release the power of so many more children and invite them to engage
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their rare and valuable abilities with the community anthropologists tell us that the one thing we as humans have always required of our community members is to be of use to be able to contribute
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there 's evidence that neanderthals sixty thousand years ago carried their elderly and those with serious physical injury
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and perhaps it's because the life experience of survival of these people proved of value to the community
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they didn 't view these people as broken and useless they were seen as rare and valuable
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few years ago i was in a food market in the town where i grew up in that red zone in northeastern pennsylvania
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and i was standing over a bushel of tomatoes it was summer time i had shorts on i hear this guy his voice behind me say well if it isn 't aimee mullins
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and i turn around and it 's this older man i have no idea who he is and i said i 'm sorry sir i don 't
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have we met i i don 't remember meeting you he said well you wouldn 't remember meeting me i mean when we met i was delivering you from your mother 's womb
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oh that guy and but of course actually
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it did click this man was doctor kean a man i had only known about through my mother 's stories of that day because of course
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typical fashion i arrived late for my birthday by two weeks an so my mother 's prenatal physician had gone on vacation so the man who delivered me was a complete stranger to my parents
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and because i was born without the fibula bones and had feet turned in and a few toes in this foot and a few toes in that he had to be the bearer this stranger
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had to be the bearer of bad news he said to me i had to give this prognosis to your parents that you would never walk
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and you would never have the kind of mobility that other kids have or any kind of life of independence and you 've been making liar out of me ever since
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the extraordinary thing is that he said he had saved newspaper clipping throughout my whole childhood
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whether winning a second grade spelling bee marching with the girl scouts you know the halloween parade winning my college scholarship or any of my sports victories
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and he was using it and integrating it into teaching uh resident students med students from hahnemann
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medical school and hershey medical school and he called this part of the course the x factor the potential of the human will
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no prognosis can account for how powerful this could be and a as a determinant in the quality of someone 's life
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