Court Opinion

ID: 9572020
Source: CourtListenerOpinion
Date Created: 2023-08-21 20:37:36.774247+00
Date Added: 2024-06-11T12:31:23.720890
License: Public Domain

SACKETT, Presiding Judge
(dissenting).
I would affirm the trial court.
This is a difficult case, as are most custody cases. Two parents who love their children have been unable to preserve the marriage *57that produced the children. Each wants the children’s primary physical care.
The mature, learned trial judge said of the prior behavior of both parents:
It would serve no useful purpose to recite the parties’ respective errors of conduct reflected in this record. Each has mutually supplied the other with provocation and each must bear responsibility for lack of judgment and immature conduct. The court views their past conduct more with sadness than with censure.
The trial court also made certain credibility, maturity, and stability assessments based on observing the parents in the courtroom and awarded Bruce custody of the children.
Both parents point to the other’s past behavior and evidence of unfitness for custodial care responsibilities. Yet, in assessing a custody ease, the bottom line is which parent has the ability to provide as a divorced parent the more nurturing and stable environment where the children’s needs will be put in a primary position and the other parent’s place in their lives will be recognized, respected, and encouraged. Making this assessment demands a judge look at both the affirmative and negative attributes of each parent and their plans for future care of the children.
Past conduct provides a window to predict future behavior. Past behavior and attributes are assessed to determine the better placement for the children and not to reward or punish either parent. Factors such as lack of consideration for the other parent, including the use of physical force against the other parent, mental abuse and manipulation, name calling, sexual involvement outside the marriage contract, evidence of a parent’s putting his or her selfish desires ahead of the general well-being of the family, failing to show respect for the position in the children’s lives of the other parent, and alcohol abuse and use of illegal drugs, are but part of a number of factors that can be predictors of future behavior.
Each case must be judged on its own facts. All of the above behaviors, together with others, reflect poorly on a parent’s ability to be the better parent in the future.
Bruce exhibited immature and dangerous behavior in reacting to his wife’s extramarital affairs by resorting to punches and shoves. This behavior weighs heavily against his receiving custody. In engaging in such behavior, he sets an inappropriate role model for his children.
Carla elected to engage in a sexual relationship outside the marriage, putting her personal needs and desires ahead of those of the family unit and exposing the family unit to the emotional and physical dangers such a relationship entails. In engaging in such behavior, she sets an inappropriate role model for her children. She additionally sought to alienate the children from their father. These behaviors weigh heavily against her receiving custody.
Yet, no one negative behavior should be elevated to the point where it becomes the sole dispositive factor or it cleanses the other spouse of prior sins.
The trial judge looked at the negative behaviors and considered them adversely on each parent’s ability to parent their children. He had the parties and witnesses before him. He found Bruce offered the children more future stability. The facts support this conclusion. Giving deference to the trial court’s finding, I would affirm.