Court Opinion

ID: 9790645
Source: CourtListenerOpinion
Date Created: 2023-08-31 01:56:48.926054+00
Date Added: 2024-06-11T07:37:30.708085
License: Public Domain

CROCKETT, Justice.
Defendant H. Donald Curry appeals from a decree granting a divorce to himself, but awarding custody of the four minor children of the marriage, together with $200 per month for their support and $100 per month alimony to plaintiff, Mary Gilchrist Curry.
The parties were married December 15, 1945, in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. They moved from Canada and have resided in California, Wyoming and in Utah since 1953. Plaintiff filed an action for divorce December 30, 1955, alleging mental cruelty. Defendant answered that plaintiff had no grounds for a divorce and counterclaimed charging cruelty, but affirmatively stated that he desired to continue the marriage notwithstanding plaintiff’s cruelty toward him, and further averred that if the court decided that a divorce should be granted, it should be granted to him, along with the custody of the children.
*200The gravamen of defendant’s attack upon' the judgment is that the trial judge, Honorable John F. Wahlquist, misunderstood and misapplied the law in that he thought that because the parties could not get along he ought to grant a divorce whether the plaintiff had made out grounds or not. It is true that Judge Wahlquist stated that under the cases of Hendricks v. Hendricks1 and Wilson v. Wilson2 he thought he should grant a divorce. But in both of those cases there existed grounds for divorce as is plainly indicated in the respective opinions, and they cannot properly be tortured. into a holding that a divorce should be granted where spouses are unable to live harmoniously together whether .grounds sufficient to meet the requirements of our statutes are made out or not. We do not think that the record supports defendant’s contention that the trial court so misunderstood or misapplied the law, but on the contrary, supports plaintiff’s thesis that he applied the rule which we recognize as correct: that there must exist grounds for a divorce sufficient to satisfy the requirements of our statute, which specifies cruelty to the extent of causing great mental distress.3
Inasmuch as the defendant is willing to concede that his evidence justifies the ffinding of mental cruelty against the plaintiff, upon which the divorce decree was based, it is Unnecessary to treat that issue. Suffice it to- say that the evidence supports the judgment in that regard. It ordinarily would not concern us whether the plaintiff also established grounds for a divorce. But a somewhat unusual problem is posed by defendant’s insistence that he is innocent of any sufficient fault upon which to predicate grounds for divorce and that he is thus in a position to challenge the propriety of granting one even to himself on his counterclaim.
A survey of the situation reveals that the picture is not entirely one-sided; and that if the trial court had favored the plaintiff’s evidence, it would not have been unreasonable to have regarded defendant’s conduct as establishing cruelty to the plaintiff. The trial judge wisely discerned from the evidence a not uncommon situation, illustrated by the Hendricks and Wilson cases, which he mentioned in his discussion: where there was fault on both sides to the extent that either party could properly be granted a divorce, and the marriage had deteriorated to the point where the only realistic thing was to enter an interlocutory decree. Because he thought the defendant here least at fault, the divorce was granted to him. That such was his view seems unmistakably clear from the record. In response to counsel’s question as to whether defendant’s at-*201titudé and conduct about religion, “ * * * was grounds for a divorce” the court responded :
“His belief isn't a ground for divorce at all. I gave him the divorce. I .think he has been guilty of mental cruelty, but I don’t think that it is his religion,” (Emphasis added.)
Partly in justification of the view thus taken by the trial court, but more importantly to demonstrate why it would appear unwise to reverse the judgment, it is deemed expedient to consider the charge of mental cruelty asserted by the plaintiff against the defendant.
There of course must be some objective standards upon which to judge whether mental cruelty is made out. But it must also be realized that what constitutes cruelty to the extent of causing great mental distress has considerable subjective content because it depends somewhat upon the sensibilities of the person complaining, and also in a measure upon the justification, or lack of it, for the conduct complained of.
Being made to feel inferior is a galling experience, and when persistent, can create a veritable sea of misery. It is plainly evident that because of what the defendant pleases to assume are his advantages in education and background he gave the impression of arrogating to himself superiority over the plaintiff and her family; and that she and they are of “back woods” character.
The above conclusion is not based entirely upon, but is well illustrated by an incident at the dinner table wherein one of the children remarked that in a playmate’s home they said a blessing on the food and asked that they do it; another remarked, “Daddy doesn’t like it;” the first rejoined, “Let’s say it anyway,” which brought forth from the defendant: “We won’t have any--Jesus shouters in this family.”
The incident is admittedly somewhat extreme and the defendant explained his language as “unfortunate” but freely admits his antagonism toward orthodox religion of any kind. This was often expressed and he made it plain to his family that he wants none of it for himself or for them. He blames the matter partly upon his mother-in-law for expressing an interest in having the children attend church. She was not at the trial to state her point of view, but the plaintiff indicated a very fair and rational one: that she desired the children to be permitted to have religious experience and to express themselves freely with respect to it.
It is not our purpose to tell anyone what his religion or religious ideas should be. But it is of interest to note that ofttimes people who are atheistic or nonreligious plead for tolerance, claiming that they are imposed upon by those who are of religious bent; whereas, they themselves frequently fail to indulge tolerance toward the views and conduct of those who are of religious *202inclination. For the defendant to be so antagonistic toward the interests in religion of his wife and even of his children seems the essence of intolerance and lack of consideration in that regard. It would seem that he could at least make some allowance for the fact that his attitude toward religion may not be very comforting or acceptable to his children or to his wife who was reared in a religious home.
In courts, and especially in an appellate court, where we are limited to a review of the cold record and do not have the opportunity to see the parties and do not get a very complete picture of their personalities, we are left to make our analysis from those facets of the character and conduct which are exposed to our view, and from them attempt to piece out the mosaic of the complete picture. From that standpoint the incident just described is very revealing. Defendant’s attitude suggests a lack of insight into his proper affinities with his family and it well could be that it is a manifestation of 'deep-seated maladjustments or resentments in broader areas of their relationships. We do not see how it can be questioned that his violent antagonisms which were continually expressed toward religion could well have caused serious mental distress to people having other convictions in that regard. It also appears that he accused his wife of deliberately planning to break up their marriage for the purpose of marrying another man, which she denies; and of transferring her affections to the other man for whom she honestly admits some fondness. It is further shown that in voicing objections to letting her take the children to visit with her parents in Canada he said, “Go up and stay if you wish, but leave the children here with me.”
Another significant fact is that the defendant frankly states that he has “come to a conclusion of mental and emotional loss in his marriage” and that he feels that “everything will be gone from him if the children are taken away.” In view of the circumstances plaintiff found herself in, it does not stretch credulity very far to accept her contention that she suffered severe mental anguish and distress. Any person of just ordinary sensibilities might well have been so affected.
In spite of all this, and the fact that defendant freely admits that, “he doesn’t think any person has a right to hold another against the other’s will, * * * ” he nevertheless maintains that his wife is not entitled to a divorce, but that he is, and if the court grants one, it should be to him, and as has been noted, upon his terms. From the fact that he took the position that if the divorce were granted it should he to him, and with the custody of the children, it seems fair to assume that had the court entered the decree in accordance with his request; there would have been no appeal; in other words, the divorce must be as he di*203rects or not at all. He is thus apparently attempting to use his assumed right to a divorce as a weapon to force plaintiff to remain married to. him. For him to stubbornly so insist, or that he have the custody of these small children, may well provide a further key to traits of character which prevented the marriage from being a success.
The above has been delineated, not to show that the defendant is entirely at fault.' That is far from the fact because he has many redeeming qualities, including his' love and concern for his children, his gen-" erosity in providing for them, and his desire to rehabilitate the family, misguided though we think he is in the manner in which he is seeking to attain the latter obj ective.
No one will doubt that the desirable thing for these parties would be to reconcile their differences and combine their efforts to make the best and happiest possible home for themselves and their children. But we gravely doubt that any good would be accomplished by nullifying the divorce as defendant would have us do. It is far more likely that it would be a disservice to all concerned, especially to the children to whom we should give paramount consideration. Recognized authorities on family problems, and our own experience, both affirm that a psychologically broken home is often more of a hazard to children than one which is physically broken by. divorce, but where the parties are honest in their relationships with each other and the children. Where there is dissension and strife between the spouses, the children are not de-: ceived, and the underlying tensions affect them both consciously and subconsciously.
It seems to us but an illusion to suppose that we could, by a ukase of this court, remand the parties back into a state of reconciliation and happiness. In reality that would only leave them in a state of unhappiness and anxiety from which, as a practical matter, some other solution would be sought anyway.
The use of pressure and coercion, either by the defendant directly, or by giving him support in doing so by allowing him to have his own way completely in this proceeding, would not only be highly questionable as a method of accomplishing the purpose he desires, but in fact may well cast the most definite impediment to reconciliation, or some other worthy solution to the problems of these parties, that could be devised. Adult personalities usually do not respond to any such mandatory tactics. If there is any possibility of re-establishment of a wholesome family relationship, it could come only through the voluntary desires of these parties and not through external pressures.
The precept is well recognized that the trial court is vested with broad *204equitable powers in divorce matters and that its judgment will not be disturbed lightly, nor at all unless the evidence clearly preponderates against his findings, or there has been a plain abuse of discretion, or a manifest injustice or inequity is wrought.4 Applying such rule, it is our conclusion that the judgment should be affirmed, but with this modification: The plaintiff should be required to retain the children in this jurisdiction until the further order of court so that the defendant may enjoy full privileges of visiting and maintaining the best possible paternal relationship with them. Costs to respondent.
McDONOUGH, C. J., and WADE, J., concur.
HENRIOD, J., concurs in the result.

. Hendricks v. Hendricks, 123 Utah 178, 257 P.2d 366.

. Wilson v. Wilson, 5 Utah 2d 79, 296 P.2d 977.

. Sec. 30-3-1(7), U.C.A.1953.

. MacDonald v. MacDonald, 120 Utah 573, 236 P.2d 1066 and authorities therein cited.