Court Opinion

ID: 9858892
Source: CourtListenerOpinion
Date Created: 2023-09-24 17:07:33.336594+00
Date Added: 2024-06-11T09:57:31.494162
License: Public Domain

LEVINE, Justice,
concurring.
I write to concur and to express my reasons for doing so, some of which parallel those of the majority.
By now, we, lawyers and judges, recognize that change-of-custody proceedings are wholly different animals from original custody ones. Considerations of finality guard against modifications of prior custody decrees, see Von Bank v. Von Bank, 443 N.W.2d 618 (N.D.1989), and in change-of-custody proceedings, the emphasis is on the continuation of the stability of the children’s relationship with their custodial parent. E.g., Blotske v. Leidholm, 487 N.W.2d 607 (N.D.1992). Only if it is “compelled” or “required” in the children’s best interests, should a change of custody occur *837and interrupt the children’s custodial relationship with their custodial parent. E.g., Barstad v. Barstad, 499 N.W.2d 584 (N.D. 1993). That is the message, loud, clear and consistent, that we have trumpeted in Orke v. Olson, 411 N.W.2d 97 (N.D.1987); Delzer v. Winn, 491 N.W.2d 741 (N.D.1992); and Blotske v. Leidholm, supra. So, noncustodial parents challenging custody are forewarned that theirs is a daunting, arduous task. They must prove not only that something of importance has changed significantly, but that this change has so adversely affected the children that custody must be changed. If this sounds ominous and discouraging to challengers of custody, it is intended to. We do not entertain lightly the proposed disruption of the continuity of care and custody and our aversion to changing custody sets the backdrop for any parent challenging the custodial status quo.
Having elaborated and set out the prologue for all change-of-custody dramas, I am certain that Dianne approached her onerous task of convincing the factfinder to change custody with the evidence she considered sufficient to defy the odds, overcome the presumption, indeed, bias, in favor of maintaining custody and accomplish what some might say was nigh on a miracle. However, Jon, too, mounted his defense, and a vigorous one it was. And the factfinder chose which witnesses, which evidence, which party to favor. That is what trial judges are for.
I certainly agree with Dianne that, if Jon, in fact, poisoned the children’s minds and hearts with his unyielding, uncharitable intolerance of homosexuality, a change of custody would be required to protect the children’s best interests. Preventing the unhealthy and, indeed, intolerable disruption of children’s love and affection for their noncustodial parent, is an absolute duty of the custodial parent. Indeed, some members of this court have even condoned granting custody to a parent because his visitation was made “difficult” by the custodial parent. See Gravning v. Gravning, 389 N.W.2d 621 (N.D.1986). However, transfer of custody is a last resort to remedy a recalcitrant parent’s habitual interference with visitation. See, e.g., Blotske v. Leidholm, supra. In none of those cases did we deal with, nor have we ever been presented with, the custodial parent literally teaching the children in his charge to hate and disrespect their noncustodial parent. It seems too obvious to mention that that kind of conduct is absolutely unacceptable and should and would result in the termination of custody, because it is so contrary to children’s best interests to learn from their parents hatred, intolerance and prejudice for the other parent. And, children are taught to hate. “Children learn hatred. They are infected by its virus early — learning it even from their mothers and fathers.... ” Quoted from an invitation, issued by New York Governor Mario Cuomo and Eli Weisel, to a conference at N.Y.U. Law School: The Anatomy of Hate: Saving Our Children. “Hate knows no frontiers, neither racial nor ethnic. Wearing various masks, it can be found among all religious and social communities.” Speech by Eli Weisel at N.Y.U. Law School conference.
If I had been the factfinder, I may have found that Jon’s prejudice against homosexuality led him to sabotage the children’s love and affection for their mother, who happens to be a lesbian, and thereby caused irreparable harm. But the evidence, as is usually the case, is conflicting, contested and divergent. It supports two widely different stories. Precluded from substituting my judgment, I am not firmly and definitely convinced that the story told by Jon and accepted by the trial judge is a mistake. Therefore, I join in the affir-mance of the order denying change of custody.
I agree with the majority that the restricted visitation, originally ordered by the trial judge, was wrong — but now corrected. In matters of custody, including visitation, I would hold that a parent’s sexual orientation is never contrary to the best interests of a child unless there is established a causal connection between specific harm to the child and the parent’s conduct. See, e.g., Human Services Dept. v. Jacinta M., 107 N.M. 769, 764 P.2d 1327 (App.1988); In *838re Birdsall, 197 Cal.App.3d 1024, 243 Cal. Rptr. 287 (1988); Conkel v. Conkel, 31 Ohio App.3d 169, 509 N.E.2d 983 (1987); Stroman v. Williams, 291 S.C. 376, 353 S.E.2d 704 (1987); In re Cabalquinto, 43 Wash.App. 518, 718 P.2d 7 (1986); M.A.B. v. R.B., 134 Misc.2d 317, 510 N.Y.S.2d 960 (Sup.Ct.1986); S.N.E. v. R.L.B., 699 P.2d 875 (Alaska 1985); Guinan v. Guinan, 102 A.D.2d 963, 477 N.Y.S.2d 830 (Ct.App. 1984); Doe v. Doe, 16 Mass.App. 499, 452 N.E.2d 293 (1983); In re Cabalquinto, 100 Wash.2d 325, 669 P.2d 886 (1983); D.H. v. J.H., 418 N.E.2d 286 (Ind.Ct.App.1981); Bezio v. Patenaude, 381 Mass. 563, 410 N.E.2d 1207 (1980); M.P. v. S.P., 169 N.J.Super. 425, 404 A.2d 1256 (1979); Nadler v. Superior Court, 255 Cal.App.2d 523, 63 Cal.Rptr. 352 (1967). Generally, there are no particular developmental or emotional problems for children raised by gay or lesbian parents. Dr. Michael E. Lamb, Chief, Section on Social and Emotional Development, National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, quoted in Daniel Goleman, Gay Kids Not Psychologically Disadvantaged, Studies Say, Miami Herald, Jan. 1, 1993.
The majority correctly embraces the harm-to-the-child criterion for visitation, but our precedent is contrary to that principle in original custody proceedings. Jacobson v. Jacobson, 314 N.W.2d 78 (N.D.1981). I vigorously disagree with the principle of Jacobson that in an original custody proceeding, when two parents are supposedly equally fit and caring, that the tie-breaker should be sexual orientation. In my view, sexual orientation should never be a factor unless it is established that the sexual behavior of the parent causes specific harm to the children. And my position is well known that in a contested divorce case where the parents are equally fit to have custody, the one who has done the nursing, the chauffeuring, the tending, the disciplining, the nurturing, i.e., the primary caretaker, should prevail, but that, of course, is another story. See Gravning v. Gravning, supra (Levine, J., dissenting). I would overrule Jacobson once and for all.
There is no-one who would disagree that our courtrooms should be safe havens from the glut of prejudice that festers in the outside world. Accordingly, homophobia has no place in our system or in our jurisprudence. While Dianne accuses the trial court of rank prejudice against her homosexuality, there is a contrary and benign explanation, supported by the evidence, for the trial court’s denial of change of custody. Accordingly, I concur.