Court Opinion

ID: 9725481
Source: CourtListenerOpinion
Date Created: 2023-08-26 11:49:10.23638+00
Date Added: 2024-06-11T18:25:15.461577
License: Public Domain

WOLLMAN, Chief Justice
(dissenting).
The record compiled in this action has at its center a detailed expose of both parties’ extra-marital sexual relationships, an explicit recital of which would serve no useful purpose. It is uncontroverted that during approximately the first seven years of the marriage appellant engaged in sexual relationships with more than one woman, but that during this same period appellee remained faithful to her marriage vows. Sometime during the spring of 1977, appellant, in a purported attempt to strengthen what he considered to be a failing marriage, suggested to appellee that they both experiment with the concept of an open marriage. Appellant apparently had proposed this as early as 1973, but no understanding was reached between the parties until the later date. Both parties participated in a number of liaisons between early 1977 and the time of the commencement of the divorce in March 1979. Appellee and the child moved out of the marital home sometime in February of 1979, and in March they moved into the home of her lover in Gayville, South Dakota. This unconventional household consisted of the man’s former wife, their daughter, and his teenage brother. Appel-lee and her son left that home in September of 1979 and established a home in Yankton. She obtained employment at the Yankton Community Day Care Center, where her son was enrolled. Because she received no support payments from appellant and because her public assistance payments for rent and utilities were not promptly received, appellee left her employment and her mobile home in Yankton and returned to the Gayville residence at the end of October 1979. During a December 1979 hearing on appellant’s motion to reopen testimony, appellee testified that she planned to move from that home in time to register in January 1980 for the spring semester at Black Hills State College.
The testimony of the parties is sharply conflicting. Appellant admitted that he made attempts to make friends with appel-lee’s paramours, but he denied that his purpose in so doing was to encourage his wife to have affairs. There was evidence that appellant had peered through a window of their mobile home while appellee was having sexual relations with one of appellant’s friends. There was testimony that appellant customarily questioned appellee about the intimate details of her activities for the purpose of deriving sexual satisfaction from her answers.
Although appellee admitted that her son probably saw her in a compromising situation with a man other than appellant on two occasions, the testimony conflicts whether the child also observed his father with other women under similar circumstances.
Both parties expressed deep affection and concern for the welfare of their child. Both appellant and appellee testified that they intend to complete their educations so that they may be better able to insure their son’s future security. The clear implication of both parties’ testimony is that they desire to put the past behind them and in the future conduct themselves as mature adults.
Appellant argues that the trial court abused its discretion in finding that appel-lee was fit to have custody of the parties’ child. Upon our review of the trial court’s findings, we must give due regard to the opportunity that the trial court has to judge the credibility of the witnesses and to weigh their testimony. Accordingly, we will not set aside the trial court’s findings unless they are clearly erroneous. SDCL 15-6-52(a); In re Estate of Hobelsberger, 85 S.D. 282, 181 N.W.2d 455 (1970). In reviewing findings of fact, we accept that version of the evidence, together with any reasonable inferences that may be drawn therefrom, that is favorable to the trial court’s determination. Watt v. Watt, 312 N.W.2d 707 (S.D.1981); Isaak v. Isaak, 278 N.W.2d 445 (S.D.1979); Schutterle v. *46Schutterle, 260 N.W.2d 341 (S.D.1977); Larson v. Syverson, 84 S.D. 31, 166 N.W.2d 424 (1969); Beatty v. Depue, 78 S.D. 395, 103 N.W.2d 187 (1960).
The record reflects instances of marital misconduct on the part of both parties. We must keep in mind, however, that marital responsibilities must not be confused with parental responsibilities. Holforty v. Holforty, 272 N.W.2d 810 (S.D.1978). It is also our rule that fault for purposes of divorce is not to be taken into account with regard to awarding custody of children except as fault may be relevant to the fitness of either parent. SDCL 25-4-45.1. In the light of the findings of the trial court and the great weight we must give to its considered judgment, I would hold that it did not err in finding appellee fit to have custody of the child.
Appellant next contends that the trial court abused its discretion in granting custody of the child to appellee. In awarding custody of any minor child, the trial court must be guided by what appears, from all the facts and circumstances, to be in the best interests of the child. SDCL 30 — 27-19; Isaak v. Isaak, supra. As we said in Isaak, “The trial court has broad discretion in awarding custody of minor children, and we will not interfere with the exercise of such discretion unless the record presents a clear case of abuse of discretion.” 278 N.W.2d at 446. See also Engels v. Engels, 297 N.W.2d 489 (S.D.1980); Haskell v. Haskell, 279 N.W.2d 903 (S.D.1979); Spaulding v. Spaulding, 278 N.W.2d 639 (S.D.1979).
Appellant makes much of his allegations that the child observed appellee’s indiscretions on two occasions. The first occurrence would have taken place when the child was two years old, the second when the child was four. In Spaulding v. Spaulding, supra, we said, “If the [parent’s] misconduct is committed in the presence of a child old enough to see and recognize [the] improprieties as such, then the harmful effect of [the parent’s] bad example upon the child is self-evident.” 278 N.W.2d at 641.
One parent seeking to take custody from the other has a burden of showing a harmful effect on the child caused by the other’s conduct. Kester v. Kester, 257 N.W.2d 731 (S.D.1977). The trial court could have reasonably concluded that the child was too young to recognize appellee’s conduct as improper. I cannot say that the trial court erred in finding that appellant had not met his burden of showing that appellee’s conduct had had a harmful effect on the child. Moreover, there was evidence of equal competence to the effect that the child had observed appellant engage in sexual intercourse with other women. We are not here engaged in a domestic disciplinary action where the custody of a child becomes a means of punishing the guilty or rewarding the innocent. Holforty v. Holforty, supra.
There was testimony from which the trial court could well have found that the child was underweight for its age when in appellant’s custody. Appellee testified that the child was nearly always suffering from diarrhea when she picked him up after visitation with appellant, that the child was frequently ill with a fever after those visits, and that he vomited during the nighttime on several occasions after returning to ap-pellee’s home.
Neither party to the marriage presented an attractive choice to the trial court as a candidate for custody. It requires no reversion to puritanism to say that by their hedonistic indulgence of their sexual appetites the parties had created an intolerable marital state. The trial judge was faced with a difficult choice. His finding that it would be in the best interests of the child that custody be granted to appellee necessarily implied a determination that appellee will so conduct herself as not to place the child in circumstances that would be damaging to its welfare.- Given the choice it had, I cannot say that the trial court clearly abused its discretion in determining that appellee, the victim of what can only be characterized as a case of arrested emotional development on the part of her husband, offered a better hope of providing an acceptable home for the child.