Opinion ID: 2514340
Heading Depth: 1
Heading Rank: 18

Heading: Father's alleged suspicions.

Text: Father testified he did not undertake any independent efforts to determine the truth or falsity of what mother was telling him about the abortion because I didn't question it. He further testified that he was never aware of any prior dishonesty in their relationship. She hid her continued pregnancy; according to him, she talked on the phone as if nothing happened. He testified that even when she called the day after the baby was born, there was no evidence at all that would alert him to a birth. He also testified, and mother confirmed during her testimony, that she repeatedly and consistently told him that she was fine and would be returning to him in New York City in the very near future. As for the suspicions father purportedly expressed to mother, he explained them in his deposition, which was later read at trial: Q. Were you ... suspicious about whether or not she was telling you the truth [about the abortion]? A. It wasit wasI mean, don't think I'm a type of witch doctor here, all right? But it's like I was sleeping, and when I asked my grandfather my mother is like, why are you sleeping so much? You got somebody pregnant? And I'm saying to myself, like, I had somebody pregnant, you know, but never telling them, like, yeah, I had somebody pregnant. So I'm thinking, like, why is everybody that's older asking me, you know, why are you sleeping? Why are you gaining weight? Why youI'm thinking, like, these are all things they say men go through when they get somebody pregnant. So every time somebody would ask me, I'd be like, [ Mother ], are you sure you're not pregnant? Because I'mit was that type of conversation. You sure you're not pregnant, [ Mother ]? Because I'm gaining ten pounds. Or [ Mother ], you sure you're not pregnant because I'm sleeping all the time, always lazy. It had nothing to do with, like, I think she's pregnant. Because if I thought that she was pregnant, then I probably would have gotten an investigator to come out here and seen and try to find her. But, I mean, if I I could only believe what she told me. If she told me if she told me that she had the abortion and she wasn't pregnant and she was coming up here [ to New York ] to see me, that's a throw-off fact. Well, she can't [still] be pregnant if she's saying she's coming up here to see me. That's the furthest thing from my mind. I just want to see her. (Emphasis added.). Adoptive parents' counsel then pointed out to the father that despite mother's repeated assurances about coming back to New York from Kansas, she never did: Q. Yeah, but she never came. A. Exactly. .... Q. Excuse me. Month after month after month after month after month she put you off. A. Uh-huh. Q. Would say, I'm coming home. I'm coming home for St. Patty's Day. I'm coming home for Easter. A. Uh-huh. Q. And she didn't come. A. Exactly. Q. And didn't that make you the least bit suspicious about what she was up to? A. No. I didn't think that anybody would have been pregnant by me or anybody and not tell them that they was pregnant. That's the furthest thing from my mind, that this woman is carrying my child. (Emphasis added.) Adoptive parents' counsel persisted with the suspicion line of inquiry in his deposition. Father returned to his earlier explanation: Q. ... And was there a little voice inside of you that was saying, I think she might be trying to hide a lie? A. I gained 10I was coming in at 200 pounds. I'm 230 now. Q. Is that a yes or a no? .... A. The only reason why I asked [ mother ], was she pregnant, any time I asked her, because I would ask my grandfather, for example, Pop, you got anything for fatigue, because I'm tired, you know. My grandfather does this tea stuff where you put tea in vinegar and drink this, it will give you a burst of energy. Right? And he like, boy, it seem like you're making bones. And I ask him, what is making bones? He says, well, somebody's pregnant. And this is them telling me somebody's pregnant. You know?  (Emphasis added.) Father then testified that he truly wanted to forget about the whole abortion situation and explained why: A. ... Quite honestly, I wanted to forget about the wholethe whole abortion situation. I wanted forgetI wanted to forget about that, so I wasn't constantly every time I speak to her, are you pregnant, are you pregnant? You're telling me you're not, you're pregnant, you're pregnant. I wouldn't do that. My grandmother passed away. I felt like the abortion was a punishment from God for her leaving me. So I wouldn't have never I was trying to stay away from that subject. I felt like I was being punished for having the abortion. So God came down and took grandma. Q. When did you lose your grandmother? A. In April [2004]. (Emphasis added.) The death of father's grandmother, and the feeling he had for why she had died, was also his explanation for what little, if any, communication he had with mother in May and June. I kinda strayed away from her [mother], because my grandmother passed away, and like I said, I thought I was being punished for having abortion, and I didn't want to speak to the person that I was being punished for, so I thought the best thing for me to do was just stay away from her until I could be able to handle my situation. (Emphasis added.) As for the suspicions purportedly evidenced by father's purchase of earrings in December 2004 for the daughter he told his friend that he knew he had, the full explanation is contained in the following deposition testimony: Q. .... The question was whether you ever bought any baby clothes I assume in anticipation of having a baby girl.... A. I boughtlet me put this on the record. I bought two earrings, a set of earrings, thinking that I had a daughter. Well, just keep saying I had a daughter. Told it to my best friend. His name is [D.T.]. And [D.T.] looked at me and said, you don't have no kids, man. This was on Christmasthis is on Christmas Eve. I bought a set. Most people buy one earring. I bought a set. And I made a comment, like, well, when I have a daughter, I'm going to take both these out, put them in her ear, so it won't beit's not like I'm wasting money. Q. And that would have been Christmas of what year? A. That's just this past Christmas. Q. 2004. A. Yeah. Q. So it is fair to say you had some intuition, something internal was going on that didn't feel right about what [mother] was telling you or doing? A. I don't knowI don't know if it was what she was telling me, but I wasI was constantlyI wasI was sad, thinking that I had had thatthat she had an abortion, and I was dealing with that. And I also was onI just I don't know ifif that was my way of grieving, saying like I had a daughter, I could have had a daughter. I mean, because when you tell a personwhen you tell a person that don't have no kidsI'mat the time I'm 35 years old. What am I having abortions for? I'm not young. I hadn't got raped. So what am I what am I having abortions for? You know. Then you have somebody thatlike I stated earlier, that you don't argue with, so why not? So yeah, I was going through something. I was going through something to the fact, well, I was hoping that I had a kid, but thinking that she gave up the kid, and still couldn't go at her the way I wanted to go at her, because I'm figuring well, she's grieving like I'm grieving, because I know what I was feeling. Q. I'm not sure I understand that response at all. When you're talking about her grieving, are you talking about her grieving as a result of placing the child for adoption? A. No. Q. You're talking about A. For her having abortion. I never knewI never knew about no adoption. I never knew about adoptions. I never knew that she was still pregnant. I never knew she gave the baby up for adoption. (Emphasis added.) Father's trial testimony was consistent with the someday a daughter deposition testimony: Q. And your testimony today is that you were buying these earrings in anticipation of a daughter being born some day? A. But I also said in the deposition when I get a daughter. I mean Q. You also told it to your best friend that you were getting these for a daughter and he said you don't have no kids, man? A. Exactly. (Emphasis added.) Finally, the purported evidence of his suspicions should be analyzed with his testimony of his reaction when the mother eventually told him the truththat he was a father: December 24, the night she [mother] called me.... It wasn't about our child. It was about [M., the father of her other child, N.] and [mother.] In that conversation she was telling me when [M.] got mad at her, he wouldn't pay attention to [N.]. .... ... I said if [N.] was my child you wouldn't have to worry about that. And I went into this big thing about how if I had a child how I would act towards my child, and I heard her crying in the background and I said what's wrong. And I thought at the time that she started to cry that I was sparkingopening up old wounds like maybe she's depressed about the abortion, and I said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and she said, no, no, don't be sorry. I was, like, you understand what I'm saying, [mother]? I kept going on. And she was like you got a child and I like you have a childI have a child and she said, yeah, you have a child. And she still was crying so she was trying to work through the emotions of crying, and I just was in shock. And I think she was still on the phone. I ran upstairs and told my mother. I was like I got a child and my mother looked at me almost like boy, get out of my room, two o'clock in the morning you talking about you got a child. And I ran back downstairs and picked up the phone and I said well, what did I have? And then I thought, I was like well, what did I have and then she stated a boy. And I was, like, where are you, ... how do I get to you, where are you at? She kept crying and crying.... [A]nd she was, like, wait a minute, ... I gave him up for adoption. I said, why would you do that? So in the likes of me being happy about the situation, it was more like a downfall. (Emphasis added.)