Opinion ID: 1864833
Heading Depth: 1
Heading Rank: 2

Heading: facts

Text: The parties met while both were attending college and married on June 23, 1973. The husband had graduated a year before their marriage, whereupon he entered the Army as an officer, serving on active duty until late 1974. The wife completed 3 years of college and thereafter embarked on a 1-year course of study in Colorado, preparing to be a cytotechnologist, one who examines body fluids for the purpose of diagnosing diseases. In order to help her meet expenses, the husband sent her money each month both before and during the marriage until she graduated in December 1973. Following his departure from the Army, the husband, in August 1974, entered law school. During this time, he received approximately $300 per month under a federal program and worked part time from May 1975 until he graduated in 1977, earning approximately $300 per month. The wife worked full time from November 1974 until April 1977, earning approximately $600 per month, when the parties adopted the first of three boys, each of whom was adopted within a week of birth. The boys are Brian, born April 13, 1977; Kevin, born February 25, 1979; and Adam, born December 4, 1981. In August 1977, the parties moved to Gering, Scotts Bluff County, Nebraska, and the husband has practiced law in the area since that time. His annual salary as a partner of a law firm at the time of trial in late 1992 was $70,000; however, his total income from his law practice, after the inclusion of bonuses in recent years, was as follows: 1991, $119,505; 1990, $106,154; 1989, $105,601. The wife worked part time as a cytologist from 1978 until 1989, taking time off and reducing her hours when the second and third sons were adopted. At the time of the decree, the wife was in the process of relocating and was looking for employment in her field. She had received one offer of employment to commence at approximately $38,000 per year, with an increase to $40,000 per year once she was reacquainted with the work. It appears that she subsequently accepted a different job sometime between the entry of the October 1992 decree and a subsequent hearing on the issue of child support. That job paid $16.75 per hour, or approximately $34,800 per year. By the time of trial, the parties had accumulated assets having a net value of $141,073, which the court divided such that the husband received $85,184 net worth of assets and the wife $55,889. In addition, the district court awarded the wife $14,648, half of the $29,295 difference in their respective shares of the net marital estate, to be paid in 60 equal monthly installments, and further ordered the husband to pay the wife alimony in the amount of $1,500 per month for 120 months, commencing November 1, 1992. As to the custody issue, the husband testified that he actively assisted in all facets of caring for the boys. When they were infants, he sterilized bottles, fixed formula, mixed other food and vegetables, bathed them, changed diapers, and cleaned up after them. He took them to the doctor when they were ill, sometimes by himself and at other times with his wife, and would often leave work so that he could go with the boys to the doctor. The husband coached the boys' little league baseball teams, sometimes coaching two teams during the same season. He took time off work to attend school activities and sporting events. He prepared many of the boys' meals, including breakfast, lunch, and supper. For the last 2 or 3 years prior to the parties' separation, he got the boys up, fed them breakfast, and the majority of the time got them ready for school. Sometimes the wife would wake up and join them, and sometimes she would not. He helped the boys with their homework. The husband emphasized church attendance by the family and would insist that they attend church, while the wife would make comments that they should skip church and Sunday School, saying, It is dumb, they don't get anything out of this. Often he accompanied the boys to church meetings without the wife. He discussed his perceptions of the boys' traits and personalities and their individual needs. He described the wife as one who is very negative in her approach and who says things that are very hurtful to the boys. He, on the other hand, tries to be positive and encouraging, talking to them on a regular basis about what is going on. He seeks to refrain from destroying their spirit when he is angry with them or their behavior. The husband attempted to act as an emotional buffer between the wife and the boys. He does not feel that the wife can handle the boys' emotional needs. He believes she is physically and verbally abusive to the boys. As a result, he tried not to wake up the wife in the mornings because, when awakened, she would become upset and get the other family members upset. On two occasions since the parties separated, the wife and one of the boys were involved in physical altercations, hitting each other. When asked why he did not think the wife could handle rearing the boys, the husband replied: There is a basic difference in our approach and our emotional makeup. My job is to nurture the children. My job is to look out for them, and to protect them from harm, and to watch out for their emotions as best as I can. Her emotional makeup is, that she needs the children to nurture her. She is dependent upon the children for her emotional needs, and I am not. In explaining why he feels she is a negative person, he referred to her negative talk about church and explained that she made comments that the schools are bad, that the teachers are dumb, and that Scottsbluff is a dull place. He considers this to be a bad influence on the boys; in his view, they need to have a positive outlook. The husband stated that if he were granted custody, he would be able to adapt his work schedule to meet the boys' needs. Predictably, the wife has a different perspective. She testified that she has been actively involved in raising the boys. According to her, it is she who has been responsible for their day-to-day needs, since the husband was gone a great deal because of his work schedule. In her view, she was more involved in the discipline of the boys than the husband. The wife acknowledged, however, that the husband was involved in the boys' activities, including church, swimming, baseball camp, and the like, and was actively involved in caring for them. Prior to the separation, he spent his time involved in family activities when not at work. She believed that his work required him to be gone more than a couple of evenings a month. She admitted that he had stopped participating in an evening golf league after she asked him to do so because one of the boys voiced concerns about it. She also confirmed that for the 2 years prior to the separation, the husband sometimes fixed breakfast for the boys but denied that he fixed their breakfast and got them ready for school while she stayed in bed each day. She recognized that he had been called twice since their separation to resolve arguments between one of the boys and her. The husband called as a witness a woman who had been primarily a friend of the wife. The friend lives about eight blocks from the Kelly home, has known the family for approximately 8 years, and typically saw the wife a couple of times a week. This witness observed the husband in several activities with the children, including attending events with the boys at the swimming pool where she teaches, helping one of the boys who was a substitute on a paper route, showing the boys his trains in the basement, and being with the boys many times when she visited the Kelly home. In her opinion he is a very good, affectionate, supportive, and positive father. According to her, the wife treated the children as one of her friends and depends on the kids. Instead of mothering she depends on them, she is their friend. She witnessed a lot of arguing between the wife and the boys and fighting among the boys. She feels that the wife does not have a normal parent-child relationship with the boys because of her yelling at them and the state of turmoil in the home with the yelling among them, which seemed to be constant. But the friend did say that the yelling in the household also occurred when the husband was around. She never observed either of the parents discipline the boys. The husband also called a psychotherapist nurse as a witness, who also was of the view that the husband had the better emotional capacity to serve as a parent. When asked with whom they preferred to live, Brian picked his father, while Kevin and Adam said they would prefer to live with their mother. They all thought their mother was serious about moving away from Scottsbluff. Brian wanted to stay in Scottsbluff; Kevin did not know how he felt about moving; and Adam said, I want to live with my mom most.