Opinion ID: 1259336
Heading Depth: 3
Heading Rank: 1

Heading: Did the father establish a parental relationship?

Text: The mother testified that after she moved to Tucson she frequently called the father, but he rarely called her, though he knew how to reach her. On several occasions she asked him to send money, and although he said he would, he never did. After the father learned the baby was placed for adoption, he never asked about her or to see her. He did not try to communicate with the child until her first birthday, when he sent a gift through the adoptive parents' attorney. The father justifies this conduct by saying he assumed the mother's and adoptive parents' attorneys were adversaries and would not help him because they were interested in facilitating the adoption. However, because the father never tried, we cannot say what the attorneys would have done or whether a substantial relationship might have developed. Nevertheless, had he tried, it is possible that a relationship would have been created. In its first review of this case, the trial court focused on the father's actions before the child's birth. The court found that the father acted like a young man responsibly facing fatherhood: he bought baby furniture, began saving money, and purchased wedding rings in anticipation of marriage. Although these actions are responsible, they do not answer the question at hand because they responded to a different set of circumstances  the mother's expected return with the baby. They do not address the father's conduct once the facts changed. Nor do they satisfy the most important requirement: that the father act to create a bond with his child. The father's actions after the child's birth support the trial judge's finding that, even though the father learned of the impending adoption, he failed to make a meaningful effort to develop a relationship with his child. Even if this finding was incorrect  and we do not intimate that it was  the result is the same. The ultimate question must be whether the father has, in fact, created a relationship. Even if this father had taken all possible steps to bond with his child and failed, Lehr' s message is that to protect his interest, and the child's well-being, he must do more. For in the child's eyes, a valiant but failed attempt to create a relationship means little. Severing long-established bonds with others is equally harmful to the child, regardless of whether the father first attempted to create a relationship. Therefore, if the father's parenting attempts are unsuccessful, he must rapidly turn to legal recourse so that the child may obtain a final placement as quickly as possible. In this area, as in few others, there must be prompt recourse to the law.