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04.02.22ILeftMyHeartInSF.mp3
Our reading this morning. Is from the same scripture that our anthem was drawn. The book of the prophet isaiah 61:1 through for the spirit of god is upon me and has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed. To bind up the brokenhearted. To proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners. To give them a garland instead of ashes. The oil of gladness. Instead of morning. The mantle of praise. Instead of a fame spirit. They will be called oaks. Of righteousness. And they shall build up the ancient ruins they shall raise up the former devastations. They shall repair the ruined cities. They shall be named ministers. Of our god. If you're not going to do it in a church. Then by all accounts. City hall in san francisco is a great place to get married. The dreams and aspirations of the west at the turn of the century with his large inviting steps its tall ornate column that it's enormous gilded dome the building practically looks like a three-tiered wedding cake i do. One of the most famous of those weddings took place on january 14th 1954 when surrounded by snapping cameras and throngs of bystanders. Marilyn monroe and joe dimaggio tie the knot in the gleaming rotunda and all of america swoons for this fairytale couple the young starlet and her old baseball hero. 50 years. And 1 months later. On february 13th 2004 one week ago another city hall wedding drew cameras and crowds. But you haven't heard of these people before. Phyllis lyon. Age 79. And dell martin age 83. Got married in the same spot. As monroe and dimaggio. And while some people applauded. Fathers were appalled. Because phyllis and del are two women. And were the first same-sex couple ever to be married in the state of california. The couple seemed unaffected by all the hype tend in a modest civil ceremony. City recorder mableton pronounce they're not husband and wife but spouses for life. Which wasn't news to phyllis and del because the very next day on valentine's day they celebrated their 51st anniversary together as a couple. Incidentally. Dimaggio in monroe's marriage ended in divorce nine months after their wedding day i happen to be in san francisco last weekend visiting my partner chris who's teaching there for the semester end we went down to city hall to cheer on the crowds. And when i came back on monday i knew that i wanted to share with you my experiences there because so much of what i was thinking and feeling last weekend when i was at city hall had to do with this church and with its families. All of its families. It's all i wanted us to be together this week as a family. Children and all so i can share some of my thoughts and experiences with you all. In particular i want to share with you two images that stick in my mind from last weekend two distinct images that left me with two distinct feelings if you can try to set the stage for if you can imagine city hall in san francisco this wedding cake of a building. Two things were happening on either side on one side you had the people who were who were coming in and waiting in line to get married. On the other side you have them coming out the door to a big celebration after they were married. I want to tell you about what happened on either side of those buildings and would have taught me about family values in america. The going inside. With a side of that i saw first. And the first thing that struck me from a distance now was this sheer number of people i'll tell you when from about three blocks away i look down the sidewalk the sidewalks were filled with people as far as my eye could see and i can see the i could see the line turning around the corner and out of sight later i would learn that the line with three blocks long. The sidewalks were flooded with people all kinds of people men and women of all ages and races and ethnicities and lots of children to. Lots of children. It was raining that day was cloudy and gray. And everyone in this limas would have cuddled under an umbrella or a or a tarp or a tent or a newspaper if they didn't come prepared. Many had slept out in the rain all night long. It is i took all this in i'll have to tell you i was surprised by my reaction cuz here i had come prepared to be all weld up with joy and with hope. And instead my first reaction on seeing this line of people with sadness. And anger. Because i looked at the huddled masses waiting to go into city hall in san francisco the image that came to mind were pictures that i used to see from the depression pictures of families waiting in line outside of food shelters hoping for a meal. 4 pictures of men down and out on their luck who are waiting in line for a job during the depression. And so these images were running through my mind. As i saw all these families and i thought to myself. It is hard enough in this world. Define love. Cantabile that love into a family and to maintain that family and keep it strong over the years. There is no excuse for society to keep putting up more barriers to that love. Who are we as a nation. To make our families wait in line for three days to get the support they need to create strong and loving families who are we to make our children stand out in the rain so their parents can have all the rights they need to protect them and keep them strong these are the things that i felt when i first approached city hall in san francisco. And it made me think back to stories that i've heard. That took place here in washington dc in the surrounding area in the fifties and sixties some stories that some of you have told me about what it was like here then. Because back then multiracial couples. Who lives in the state of virginia remember what have to drive across the potomac. To get married in churches like all souls in washington dc because until 1967 it was still illegal for white people to marry black people in the state of virginia. 37 years ago. History suggests to me. That the human heart. Is a much better judge. Pavlov. Been either this state. For the church. Send for me this long line of families represented not just gay families but all the families in america who struggle to keep it all together. Call the families that are trying to make ends meet you know there are nine million children in this nation without health insurance. There are 12 million children in poverty that's one in six. In washington dc. The number is 1 + 3. And even for family to oren struggling in poverty. With a kind of culture we have now with our busy lives it's so hard for us to to maintain the kinds of bonds we need to keep strong families here in the city. And so these were the thoughts that we're going through my mind as i looked at all these families. That was from the distance i got a little bit closer in the image got a little bit better when it once i finally got a chance to look underneath the umbrellas and look underneath the blankets in the and the newspapers there was a different story to be told. Because everyone seemed to be having a grand old time. Some folks were dressed for their wedding and tuxes or gowns people were sipping wine or champagne. Lot of folks are on their cell phone frantically trying to reach relative to tell them what they were about to do nearby friends were we're trying to get down to city hall fighting the traffic so they can be there to witness be the witnesses for their friends for their friend's wedding children were playing with each other in the wet grass lots of smiles lots of excitement lots of tears. Left to fend for themselves families do figure out how to make it one way or the other. So that's one side of the the picture. On the other side of the picture then on the other side of city hall where the families were coming out after they were married while that was a whole nother story. Because while on the side coming in there was a sensitive of restrained anticipation on the other side that had resolved into an outright. Celebration. One by one the couple's would come out of city hall and hold their marriage license in the air and the crowd of hundreds would break into applause champagne corks popped. Florists gave out a bouquets and garlands garland's instead of ashes people through rice passers-by and cars honk their horns and support the gay and lesbian chorus of san francisco came by to sing a few songs there were even a few straight couples. It was a powerful experience to see people who have been denied something for so long. Finally. Get their hearts desire. Knowing full well that the court might take it away from them in a few days or a few weeks from now. But knowing to that something about that experience would never be taken away from them no matter what happens. For once freedom is on the tongue you can never quite get the taste out of your mouth. Watching this happened last week with something i'll never forget. But for me this to vision on the other side. With a vision of how things ought to be. I thought to myself what would it be like if every family got the encouragement that these families were getting as they came out of city hall that day would have all of our family support that we needed to build strong and loving families what if our government reach out courageously to support families in this country like the way the government of the city of san francisco reached out to gay and lesbian families last weekend in san francisco. What if our government took a risk for our families. When i saw all these people cheering all these families the other thing i thought about with the church. I thought about this church. Because in my mind the church should be a place. Where when it gets hard to be a family in the world you know you can come. And get the equivalent of a big cheer when you come through the door. For when i gets hard to be a family in the world you know you can come through these doors and find support for your family no matter what your family looks like because here at all souls we have all kinds of families. All the families of the city are represented here in this church. We got interracial families and multi-generational families we got single moms and single dads. We got two moms and we've got two dads gay families and straight people raised by their grandparents. Grandparents raising their grandchildren. Rooted families and transient. Parents adoptive in biological and each family has as much value is the next. Baptist church. The church should be the place where it doesn't matter if a child has one parent or two because in this place every child has a whole mess of godparents okay the church should be a place where it doesn't matter if your parents are gay or straight. To take seriously our ministry to children and families. I don't want it to just be something that gabrielle ferrell our religious educator does or something that the teachers in our re-program do or the people on our re committee i want us to see this church as our family and all of its children here as our children. Our god children are extended family. What would it be like if every child in this church had a close relationship with at least one adult other than their parents and the minister what would it be like if sunday school classes were taught not by the parents of the children but by folks who might not have kids at home right now. That's my dream for this church. Not wanted to do a little exercise with you this morning this is the sort of i think it was in sesame street that used to have this song called who are the people in your neighborhood i think it was together today i'd like to ask folks to to stand up when i call out when i describe something that might describe you and your family okay. Straight or gay married or not to stand up look around notice okay give thanks you may be seated thank you now i want everyone who is in your daily life your teacher or if you teach sunday school here at the trooper involved with the ministry to children or if you're a mentor a big brother a big sister or thank you for your work and now i want everyone who is a member of the great family of all souls thank you thank you. But i want to leave you with with one final image from last weekend in my mind there were many heroes from the weekend but for me there were two who stood out. 210 year old boys. Had stationed themselves by the door to city hall where couples came out. After they had received their marriage licenses. And in their 5th the boys had rose petals. And every time a couple walked out the door. These two boys would throw the rose petals over the couple's had. And a couple with pass by. The kids would get down on their hands and knees and gather up the rose petals and get ready for the next couple garland's instead of ashes. These boys knew love when they sought. And they knew that the appropriate response to love was to bless it not to tear it down and that's why they're my heroes. I see your i did leave a piece. Of my heart in san francisco last weekend. Having had it broken open i left some of it scattered there on the steps of city hall among the rose petals in the rice. Lucky for me and for all of us. This church is a place where we can put our hearts. And our families back together again. Maybe so. I'm in.
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04.02.15AfraidOfTheDark.mp3
Mornings readings are. 2 and brief. The first is a an excerpt from an interview with contemporary irish playwright connor mcpherson. He was speaking about playwriting in general and particular about his play dublin carol. People have always said drama is about conflict. I find there's enough conflict in one person to make a whole play. All those swings. The oscillation in the mind. Self-doubt. The uncertainty. The stupid courage. The terrible feelings of inadequacy. That's more than enough. And i suppose even a chink of light is huge. If you are in the dark. If you can somehow. Make a truce with yourself. You're probably going to do all right. The second reading is a quote from james baldwin which a friend of mine sent to me during a difficult time in my life. Is a quotation from sonny's brother in baldwin's novel sonny's blues. For while the tale of how we suffer. And how we are delighted. And how we may triumph. Is never knew. It always must be heard. There isn't any other tale to tell. It's the only like we've got in all this darkness. Afraid of the dark. Like many children when i was young i had a night light. I was afraid of the dark because alone at night in my room. I felt as though my life which was so out of sync with the adult world as it was. Was even more beyond my grasp. And now as an adult i find i fear the dark for different reasons. The power of darkness as both symbol and reality of the unknown. The invisible. Remains. Strong. And this morning i wanted to reflect some on how i have been puzzled and troubled by the dualism that we have created around light and dark. Puzzled because the light is good and dark is bad over-simplification feels false. And untrue. To my actual experiences of light and dark. And troubled because of what the dark as bad metaphor feels like to myself and i would suspect other people of color. What might it mean i wonder and how might it feel. To question and break down this dualism this light good dark bad dualism. And how might our images of light and dark change. If we brought our actual experiences of them to bear. It occurred to me as i thought about this light versus dark good versus bad metaphor that it wouldn't be such a big deal if we human beings weren't so grounded in metaphors. And i'm not saying that because i dislike metaphors i actually like them a lot and i understand why we need to use them. Think of songs and poems. Our conversations with one another are peppered with images. Will frequently say it was like and then try to find some image with which to explain what we meant how we felt. We say it was a breath of fresh air. Because someone will know what that means what it feels like to take a breath of fresh air. Images of light and dark are some of the most powerful images we've got. Problem i think is that we are in need of some nuance. Light that isn't just or simply or always illuminating. But is sometimes blinding for example. Or an image of darkness that isn't merely confusing or obstructing but is a soothing place of creativity. One of my favorite hymns in our hymnal is it him entitled dark of winter. And in the hammett please. Darkness sue's my weary eyes. That i may see more clearly. And darkness when my fears arise. Let your peace flow through me. It was a moving tale of darkness that i'd like to share with you. I'm moving and powerful tail but came to me in an unexpected place. I thought i was being academic i was watching a video about the book of genesis that bill moyer to put together conversations many years ago and the old testament the hebrew bible scholar walter brueggemann was part of a conversation that moyer's was having about the book of about the book of genesis and about this particular conversation the particular story of jacob wrestling with the angel. And many of the people in the video had fascinating takes. On what the story meant. But none was more fascinating than watching walter brueggemann hoose would have known to those of us who study religion as sort of a dower and serious and a severe academician. Actually share something of himself. He said that this story this is jacob at night being come upon by an angel and wrestling not only with this. Real angel but with his own demons. Brought up something profound for him. He said that he realized in his own life that during the day. When it was light outside he felt always a bit more in control like he had his to-do lists like life had a plan and an order that he could see that there was rhyme and reason to what he could do with his life. I'm at then at night much like jacob in the story that was when his own personal demons came to visit. Was when he wrestled with his own questions of mortality when he wondered whether he had done with his life what he really most wanted to do. When he felt more profoundly out of control and not quite sure of who he was or if he really could be the person he wanted to be. Will i do all i need to do before i die bruggeman said in the video. And in that story i realized in his. Story that there are times. When light and dark fit the stereotype role that we have assigned them. Times when light does make our day feel more ordered and clear and times when night feels a bit daunting. But i wonder. As you think about light and dark in your own lives. What memories do you conjure. That are embedded within them those memories the time of day that they took place. Perhaps this day after valentine's day you remember the romance of a candle-lit dinner. Or the glorious brightness of a sunny day when you were on a hike in a beautiful setting. And what about moments in your life when light and dark played against type. When the bright light. Felt harsh and unforgiving. At a time when what you needed was to hibernate with your pain. Or time when the dark felt nourishing. And comforting. My friends. We live in a world full of thinkers and pundits who like to flatten concepts and reduce ideas to hollow shallow versions of them. That do not honor our lived truths. We know that sometimes light and dark are neither good nor bad. Sometimes they are contacts. They are the place in which life happens. And even more than that we know that sometimes what we need most is gray. Sometimes we need to mix things up and acknowledge that our lives are complex. And irreducible. To take the baldwin quote and turn it around. For while the tale of how we suffer and how we are delighted and how we may triumph is never knew. It always must be heard. There isn't any other tale to tell. It's the only dark we've got. In all this lightness. May we my friends embrace both light and dark. Within and among us all. So that we might lead lives of greater holness. We we do that this. Season and every season. Hainan.
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03.01.26AwesomeMeetsTheFamiliar.mp3
It is a great joy and privilege for me to be here with you at all souls this morning that's jenny said i grew up in this area and so all souls was always looked on as the great mother church and so it is marvelous to be with you. Bring two readings this morning the first comes from the minister of one of the other all souls churches who i know has spoken from this pulpit before. Forest church in his book bringing god home forest rights organized religion and personal spirituality can exist. Completely independent from each other. At the root of all the wreck human experience of the holy are two things though that organized religion may even discourage. And humility. The word human has italian etymology my very favorite all the words that relate to it humane humanitarian humor humility humble and shumis. Are illuminated. From dust. To dust the mortar of mortality binds us fast. To one another. Jews christians and muslims alike trace their ancestry to the third chapter of the book of genesis where god proclaims to eve and adam whose name lest we forget means out of red clay in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou return onto the ground for out of it west val taken. For dust thou art. And unto dust shalt thou return. For this reason alone life requires not only a measure of humility but a leavening sense of humor i love gk chesterton squip that angels can fly because they take themselves lightly you've heard that one before just a little lower than the angels we too can lift up our sites. By lowering our pretensions. And just a little higher than the most humble creature we are wise to remember our mortal kinship and destiny. We may be valiant dust. In shakespeare's words but whether we perceive ourselves as spun out of stardust. Or fashion from earthly loam. When we die. We inherit. The same earth. My second reading comes from someone. Familiar to at least a few of you here. And i did not choose this reading knowing that i was going to be preaching a sermon here. This was written in 1973 by the reverend david eaton who was minister here at that time david was a good friend of my father. And i had the privilege of meeting him a few times before he died. This is dedicated to peg pierce. She may even be here i don't know who she is but perhaps she is one of you. David wright's all living substance all substance of energy and being and purpose are united. And share the same destiny. All people we love and those we know not of our united and share the same destiny 2 deaths this unity we share with the sun. Sr brothers and sisters strangers flowers in the field snowflakes. Volcanoes. And moonbeams. Birth life death unknown unknown our destiny from unknown. Two unknown. I pray that we will know the author and not fall into the pit of intellectual arrogance in attempting to explain it away. The mystery can be our substance. Maybe have faith to accept this. Wonderful mystery. And build. Upon at the everlasting truth. So end this morning's reading. Not long ago i was sitting in a quiet room. Talking with some friends about god. This group of people was very diverse racially culturally age-wise lots of other things about us were different but there was one thing one very important thing we had in common. We were all active and committed unitarian universalist. Our views of god not surprisingly a varied to some degree in a few folks who were not comfortable with that. Old-fashioned and wounded word god. Get all of us have something to add to the conversation. Something that sprang from that deep place inside us all of us it seemed. Do something about mystery about holiness. And about. Chase. One friend in particular spoke very eloquently. Well i cannot quote him exactly i do remember with clarity the essence of his words. Religion and spirituality spring from the place. He told us. Where the awesome metis. The familiar. We're the awesome. Meets. The familiar wow. Buzzwords just knocked me over. They helped me the guy inside me so much that i knew i was going to preach about it someday. And i've been thinking a lot. About what lies at the heart. Of our faith. Our particular face unitarian-universalism a mouthful yes. Butterface indeed. What is the essence of being religious liberally. I want to look at that essence and i want to look at it by talking about two attitudes or ways of approaching space. They have much to teach us. Those attitudes are all. And humility. I got intrigued by these two important concepts when i heard my colleague for his church. Speak these words at a conference i attended a new york city last spring. He sent me to thinking he always does. Are all and humility essential to true face development and if they are. How can we seek to understand them in ways that make sense to us in our particular faith tradition. Have a group unitarian universalist are skeptical by nature of us in this room here today have at some point in our lives. Been overwhelmed by. I have heard many stories throughout the years of my ministry. Avoid in the face of birth. And death stars and sea love. And even lost. I too have my stories of awe. A simple one here. Years ago i remember a hike in the virginia mountains with a campfire girl. Troop. And we went. To a mountaintop it came out. On a cliff. And as i gazed out on the view there it became something much more than just a pretty picture. I saw it through the eyes of all. That it became alive for me more beautiful more perfect than any mountaintop could ever be. For what seemed like an eternity. I watched. And saw and knew that i was not alone. Set the earth was alive. And that i belong. And i have never forgotten that image and it's still returns to me when i feel and needs. To remember my connection to what really matters. It was an every real way awesome. And it woke in my child's heart. A longing and a sense of belonging. Which led me to believe to deepen my belief. In what i choose to call god. Am i experienced on that mountaintop is far from unique. Perhaps you two have a story of all when you felt overtaken by that terrible joy that is the mystery and wonder of life. But all it seems does not come readily to everyone. Perhaps this is because for many the idea of all is caught up with fear the origin of the word austands from a greek word. For pain. For pain. And as we know has too often been used as a weapon. Human-made structures that we look on today at great examples of engineering or architecture and that may make us feel full of all like the pyramids in egypt or the great cathedrals in europe were built. To make ordinary humans feel very small. And god or the king or the priest very great. It's not surprising that the word awful. Has come to mean something terrible. There are of course very powerful and positive ways to experience all. When i hear people in our congregations talk about all its usually of the natural world in which they speak while many of us do feel in something humanly generated like music and poetry and art. Most of us seem to meet the mystery in the natural world. Activity and so nicely put it all comes when we recognize disunity we share with a son or our brothers and sisters strangers flowers of the field snowflakes volcanoes & moonbeams. He didn't leave much out. All comes. All comes when we face the mystery of our connectedness to all of life. I felt that kind of all on my mountain top. But it can and does happen in many many places in essence i believe that the kind of all at the heart of our face. Emerges when we feel deep in the well of our being that we belong that our life matters that we and the earth and all creatures on it. R1. R1. That's what the word unitarian really comes down to mean these days. Because our heritage and our faith reminds us that by whatever name we called the holy. It is always and at its essence. 1. And when we feel that oneness so we can experience the kind of off that opens us to a deeper understanding of what are lice means particularly in relationship to the rest of life. On our planet. Such a lock-in also open us. To humility. Out humility is a far less comfortable topic for unitarian universalist then off. As a group. And i've know what's real well i've been a unitarian universalist all my life we are not the most humble of people 90 that may come as a big surprise to some of you but in case you're thinking that i'm pointing fingers trust me this is where the finger is pointing i know. Religiously humility is even much even more loaded with baggage than off. For many of us humility in the face of god conscious of people prostrate in front of altars flatulating themselves are feeling pressure to confess to imagined sins for the sake of absolution. And women have endured centuries of being told to humble themselves not just before god. Before their husbands and fathers as well. Humility has a strong part to play in our face. From the time i can remember. My father who was not on the surface the most humble of men. Taught me to understand that humility had a profoundly simple definition. To be humble he told me. Was to remain. Teachable. To remain teachable. Whenever we think we know it all real humility reminds us to stay open. And willing to learn. Fourth church believes that accepting our mortality forces us to stay humble. All of us are fly night we are not god. As far as puts it life requires a measure of humility just a little lower than the angels we can lift up our sights by lowering our pretensions. Humility is one way to stay grounded. Has forrest said the words come to shumis and humility come from the same root grounded humility invites us to always remain open to what the world has to teach us and to never be afraid to say. I don't know. In her book kitchen table wisdom rachel naomi raymond echoes the sentiment. As a physician she writes i was trained to deal with uncertainty as aggressively as i dealt with the disease itself. The unknown was the enemy. After years of trading mystery for mastery it was hard and even frightening to stop offering myself reasonable explanations for some of the things i observed and then others told me and simply takes them as they are. I don't know had long been my statement of shame a personal and professional sailing. No wonder if that resonates with any of you. It certainly does with me. Getting dealing with deaths and healing raymond begin to open herself to the awesome mystery inherent in life and death. Rather than trying to explain away the strange wonderful and powerful feelings of awe. That death and healing involved. She began to just let it be. I no longer feel that life is ordinary she writes every day is filled with mystery. She concludes with these words. In some fairy tales there is a magic word which has the power to undo the spell that has imprisoned someone and free them usually the words were some kind of nonsense like shazam. My magic words have turned out to be. I don't know. I don't know. The magic words i don't know or at the essence of both aw and humility and they're also at the heart of our faith. How you might ask. When we approached the universe with awe while our first response can and will likely be wow. Perhaps our second response should be. I don't know. Not knowing does not mean not appreciating it simply allows us to acknowledge and accept the mystery of life without apology. When we say i don't know with all we are accepting that life and creation are mysterious their wonderful and that we cannot know everything about them. That's we have a face. That affirms that creation is too grand a complex to be defined by narrow creed's. And when we say with humility i don't know. We acknowledge that there is still more to learn that we don't know what all that revelation is not sealed. That's we have a face that affirms that spiritual development is a continuing process of learning and growing. Doesn't it make more sense to tell the truth as we know it. As we may not. No it. I don't know these three little magic words may be at the heart of real face that real spirituality even real religion they challenge us to meet the mystery with an open heart. Even as we ask the hard questions that deepen our understanding. And broaden our knowledge. I believe that a willingness to be unsure. Is critical for our spiritual well-being. But at times it can feel paralyzing her not to know can be scary. You know what. So much of religion these days is all about knowing everything isn't it a hundred percent right i've got it here in this book is this creed this guru this is the way it's got to be. Are face offers a different more challenging path. Our faith. At least tries to acknowledge that there are things we don't know that others may experience the world differently than we do. Yet there are times even within our liberal religious faith. When we think we know it all when we're absolutely positively sure we are right. I'm not talking about any of you of course. But this is where all and humility come into play. Whenever i am tempted to say that my way is right and you are wrong i try to remember to take a deep breath. And say. I don't know. I don't know. I try to face the mystery of life with a sense of all and my own place in it with an attitude of humility i try to remain teachable into stay open to this amazing and wonderful world we live in. And it's here that my friends view a face as the place where the awesome meets the familiar comes very true for me. 4 unitarian universalist the world is not a bad place fallen from the lord's good graces. To us the world and everything in it can be approached with aw. For we have learned that the holy dwells not just in the realm of the supernatural. Put in the natural in the here-and-now in this place in this moment right now here among us. By cultivating a sense of all we have the opportunity to look at the world with new eyes. And even the mundane can take on a blessed spirits. The christian mystic teresa of avila had difficulty in reconciling the vast. The vastness of life with a spirit of the mundane tasks in front of her in the convent she was a mystic for many years ago living in a convent washing pots sweeping the floors folding laundry. Epsom point of grace the mundane became for her a sort of prayer. A way she could experience her ever-present connection to the divine pattern which is the source of life. She began to see the face of god. In the folded sheets. We may not see god in the sheets. But perhaps we can see something of the holy in a child's smile. In the falling leaves. In the bleak beauty of the winter sky. And we are i believe more likely to encounter the mystery and wonder of life if we approach the world in humble ways. There's much about life and the living of it that we just don't know all the tools at our disposal to scientific method higher criticism business plans etc can't explain why our heart aches. When we see a loved one in pain or why our world shakes when we hear on newborn baby cry. Thank you good time. Facing that incredible mystery the mystery of life and death with i do no humbly on our lips as a religious posture that works. We can is one of my favourite poet says live the questions with humility with wonder and with joy. To live in that place where the awesome meets the familiars to go against much of what our culture expects of us arrogance is far more popular than humility and all is too often reserved for celebrity sightings. Yet i would argue that the religious path offers us a better way to navigate the shoals. Of modern life. Cultivating a spirit of all does not mean. That you have to have a traditional belief in god or an afterlife and cultivating a spirit of humility does not mean to basing oneself in fear the spirit only requires of us a willingness to remain open to all that life has to teach us and to accept the mystery of life is not something to be afraid of indeed it is something to be revered. There is so much i don't know. But what i do know is that our face unitarian-universalism can be a religion. We're all and humility are cultivated and supported. We do not always live up to our promise i know. But i have hope. Our liberal faith has much to offer to us. And to our world. Look around you look around you i have been watching you now. You're beautiful. Wonderful. See how precious we all are can we can we approach this incredible gift of a day with aw. Can we approach each other. With humility. All and humility. Are two pillars of a faithful life and i think they serve us well. Particularly if we remain willing to say. With all and humility. Those awesome and humble magic words. I don't know.
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04.02.11WhatGoodIsGod.mp3
I've told many of you how excited i am to have all of the guests coming to visit us over the next several months not the least of which is because many of the folks coming to visit our colleagues of mine that i've been eager to hear preach for many many years but i'm usually busy on sunday so i don't get to hear them and so first up this morning is reverend rosemary bread mcnatt whom i want to introduce to you briefly before she speaks. Rosemary serves currently as a minister of the fourth universalist society in new york city in fact i was joking with her this morning that it's in central park west so maybe we should all go visit her sometime soon. She was born and raised in chicago illinois is a graduate of both yale university and drew theological seminary. And before answering the call to ministry she was an editor and widely anthologized writer for more than two decades. She's a former editor at the new york times book review and has written three books of her own including her memoir on afraid of the dark. Rosemary has been deeply active in our unitarian universalist movement for many years in fact i first met reverend mcnatt when i was a student at starr king school for the ministry and she was serving on our board of trustees. Holding one of her sons cradled in her arms they are for one of the meetings he's not able to be held cradled in the arms any longer. But reverend menachem mcnatt lives in new york city with her husband robert and her two sons alan and the aforementioned daniel. Please join me in welcoming reverend rosemary brian mcnatt thank you so much and welcome to all of you this morning and thank you for your warm welcome to me this is my second visit to all souls and i love to come here it was an honor to be asked. To be here while rob is on sabbatical. What was the first religious question you were ever asked. I wish that i could say that i remembered something that i asked it was clever and prescient something like the question that my older son alan asked. When he was 3 years old and he saw the aftermath of a hurricane on television. I was in seminary at the time. And after walking through the living room and seeing the television screen filled with death and destruction allen turn to my husband bob and to me and said that hurricane hurt a lot of people why doesn't god do something about that. My beloved husband coward that he is turned to me and said don't look so well. And i was told the answer to courtesy of the baltimore catechism the requisite means of roman catholic instruction until the mid-1960s some of you are likely products of this particular religious education and i see some nodding head not if you remember you had to memorize a whole list of questions along with the right answers to those questions to make sure you knew who you were who god was and the right relationship between you another question that i remember asking was why did god make you. And the answer was god made me to know him to love him and to serve him in this world and to be happy with him forever in the next. This is why i was more important the church said to take better care of our soul then our body because in losing our souls we would lose god and everlasting happiness. If you grew up with christian religious instruction of any kind most likely you grew up with some variation of these questions and some variations of these answers questions and answers that have comprise the majority of christian theology for century if you grew up with jewish religious instructions you grew up with some variation of the 13 articles of the jewish faith first proposed by maimonides twelfth-century rabbi who first codified the articles of faith for absorbent do god exist god is one and unique god is incorporeal and god is eternal. Also said god knows the thoughts and deeds of men too that's really five and practicing muslim you learned some version of the five articles of faith now these are different than the five pillars of islam. To the bathroom jordi about in the united states will raise or have our primary religious experience in one of these three face the abrahamic faiths than what they share is a belief in one god and to a lesser degree they share a belief in a certain kind of god a god with certain qualities to inspire our trust and our obedience. And our fear because according to all these things god is all-seeing and all-knowing and all-powerful and perfect what are you grew up christian or jewish or muslim or with no particular religious faith at all whether you were developed or careless in your face and practice you probably grew up with these ideas about god ideas that you share with many people ideas that you may no longer believe ideas that you may not even like very much but they're still there just the same dancing around in your head and your often arguing with them perhaps without being aware that you are they are ideas woven into the very fabric of our culture. And they are difficult for us to dislodge even if we want to and difficult for us to question even amid all our doubts. I was in seminary before i found what has become one of my personal favorite books about the idea of god and its hole on our hearts and our mind. The tiny but dense book entitled omnipotence and other theological mistakes omnipotence and other theological mistakes by charles hartshorn hartshorn died only seven years ago at the age of 104 use one of the as process theology an offshoot of process philosophy and it attempts to end among other things the standoff between rational thought and believing in god as the son the grandson and the great-grandson of episcopalian and swiss protestant minister. He married a lifelong universalist. He attended unitarian churches for much of his life. But he hesitated to call himself a unitarian universalist even though he was a member of the unitarian church of austin texas when he died in 2000. He likes to refer to himself actually as a buddhist do christian it was a phrase that he bought he borrowed from another naturalistic philosopher who was very important to liberal religion charles pierce this morning. He spent a lot of years writing about what he thought were fallacies behind these religious beliefs falsehoods that couldn't withstand the insides of science or contemporary life or even the live experience of you and me. And in this book that i'm talking about he wrote a preface and part of that process included these words. Multitude of people today are told by newspapers and popular magazines and books about all kinds of options in non religious matters but they are told little or nothing about the options and religion. The accessibility of options for belief. Is part of what religious freedom ought to me. I have learned he can see me. That lives can be changed by showing that some of the traditional problems of belief. Princeton how to reconcile the power and goodness of god with the evils we encounter in life. Are genuinely solved or at least greatly alleviated by the view presented in this book. So that is a tall order for a tiny book cuz it's about 144 pages and that includes the index but hartshorn in 1984 when he wrote this book was 87 years old and think that he had another 15 years. He wanted to tackle the same questions that you and i have when we read the paper or when we live our lives and cruel and senseless things occur for no reason at all and people try to comforter with platitudes like god knows best for it was god's will or whatever answer they have been taught to give after two thousand years of traditional and contradictory theology the questions is obvious if god knows everything is god is so perfect if god wants us to be happy and yet the world is so cool so sad so filled with unfairness and injustice and even horror then what good is god. Belief itself. Has been and continues to be the flash point for so much of the world's terror. Or as one of the visitors in my own congregation asked on a sunday not too long ago looking around after coffee hour. Who knew that this many people still found religion relevant. And he was not being complimentary. It questions like me the charles hartshorn wrote his little book to answer. Any rights that most classical theism is guilty of 6 mistakes about god. Play god is absolutely perfect and unchangeable. The god is perfect in power and that's whatever happens must be divinely ordained. Third that since god is unchangeable e perfect whatever happens must be eternally known to god. God's love for us is benign unchanged in any way by our joy or our sorrow or troubles or our pain in other words that we have no effect on god whatsoever. 5th that it would matter to god at all it's in the matter of life after death that we must survive death in some form either through heaven or hell. And lastly that revelation is infallible that we know all that we are going to know. The hartshorn attributed these errors in theology. In part to classical theism attempt to harmonize greek philosophy and judaism which your kind of the origin in the the maelstrom around with these ideas formed. I know he believes it's important to continued dialogue between those two tradition. He also agrees it's important to add insights from contemporary life from science and from history including the history of other religions. All of us who have lived our lives are familiar with those six mistakes. The familiar with those six mistakes because they are the mistakes that first helped many of us leave our original religious home. In search of something more. But what more is there. Now there is of course a theater. The belief that there is no god. But all we have is what we can see and what we can prove to be here and the nap. It is a rigorous and demanding pass. For those who follow it. And there are atheist but i would suggest to you that there are many fewer atheist in the world then you might suppose. Many more people i believe find themselves in the camp of the doubter to camp of the unsure. The person who can't possibly countenance the old story about god the old guy with the beard. But they can't necessarily believe the stories that point toward nothing at all. Hartshorne asks us to consider a third possibility. 1/3 way a different kind. Oh god. Hartshorn asks us to consider a god who is changed and moved by us. By our reaction and our every thought by the every circumstance of our lives in our sorrow and in our joy. A god who is changed by knowing and experiencing us. Just as we are change. By knowing and experiencing god. This different god is one whose power does not depend on perfection. Oran in mutability but relies instead on embodying an unsurpassed love. That is in fact thesaurus. And the ground of god's power. Hartshorn and his spiritual brothers and sisters in process theology. Speak in their work of the lure of god. God's love for all of us. Made known to the unspeakable beauty of the world. The unspeakable beauty. 1 in number. And all this beauty may tangible in the longing of our own heart. A longing to which we ourselves barely have words. That very longan. Ineffable egg that we feel in the face of such beauty. They believe is in itself the sign of god reaching out to us and for us. Eager to long. I should be raw. But what about evil and hurricane and death and sadness and all of the inscrutable changes that we know are true. The world that includes this different god these are the inevitable consequences of a world they believe is truly alive a world in which while the laws of nature are real. So is genuine human choice and the genuine human risk think about it so long as billions of people make decisions simultaneously everyday each day is by necessity filled with risk filled with chance. And filled with possibility a god that really loves and believes in humanity might limit champ but could never banish it entirely because to do so would limit human freedom and that would include the freedom to love god's or not to love trust and a law not freely given is no love at all. We people of liberal faith rarely speak of loving god or worshiping god we barely have language for it. It's a small wonder when all our language were god has been so ancient and so anemic and so rooted in this classical theism when even the necessity for god has been the subject of endless debate when our longing for god has been the stuff of ridicule and source of fear who wants to love or worship a source of more or an inspiration for international and domestic terror or and excused for the diminishment of other human beings. The process theology begins to give us a glimpse of something we have dared not hope. An introduction to a radically different. on god worth loving and a god or longing for. The ideas expressed by hartshorn and his contemporaries. Modric see hockey and alfred whitehead and henry wyman and others they offer a chance for an enthusiasm for god that's need not be simply an intellectual exercise. And that vision that possibility of a different god was the basis for the answer to the question that alan asked me so many years ago when he asked me why god didn't do something. About that hurricane. But he did. Do something. And she did something i said. Because god. Is part of us and we are part of god until god cares so much and so deeply that those people were hurt. God loves us so very much. We at. With god's inspiration and help. To help those who need us because we are co-creators. With god and all the while that we work and we struggle and lee love. God is suffering with us and holding us up god is helping to bear our burdens god is working with us to create opportunities through which we might find grace and strength and life even a miss can and even joy. He was probably too much detail for a three-year-old i have been known to give my kids a little too much information but maybe not it is never too soon to learn about a god worthy of the name and worthy of our attention and our love. And the good news is. That it is never too late either i miss.
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04.02.29ConspiracyAgainstVu.mp3
Some of you may have thought that. Service would end early today and that you get away without a sermon but that was just a typo. Our reading this morning is by the poet laureate shack. It's called. To softness. Under junk heaps and burning cars and bombed-out buildings. Under iron and 10 and plastic under us steel and coca-cola and the bridge repainted silver. To cover all the black graffitied hearts and names. Beneath underpass and overpass on their timetables profitability summits margins of error and cuts. Under for your own good and in our best interest. Under frontrunner leveraged buyout arms deal state-of-the-union and rate of exchange. It must be there. Like an ash heap. But alive like avail a half-formed thought. Throbbing it's slow pulse. Behind the lips. A softness. A tenderness. A hand turning pages through the night in a bare room. Eyes of the window hand at the door. Something in need of protection. Something capable. Of stealing harm. I'll never forget something that happened to me. During a job interview many years ago. I was applying to be a hospital chaplain and because the work would entail me ministering to people who were suffering tremendous loss and grief the person interviewing me was probing my own experiences of loss and we happen to be talking about my grandmother many of you know that my grandmother played a formative role in my childhood and i loved her dearly. Alphabet her drawn-out death from alzheimer's disease. Was a slow painful loss. The loss that was especially intense during this interview because at the time we had just moved my grandmother out of her home and into an assisted living facility just blocks from where i was living. As i was talking about my grandmother the interviewer gently interrupted me. And she said rob. You're sharing something very painful with us. Do you realize that you have a smile on your face as you're doing it. Do you realize there's a disconnect between what you're feeling right now and what's your soda showing us that you're feeling. Yeah i know i said. Just checking she said. Just checking. We all try to keep up appearances don't we. Choking back our tears with the forced smile. Holding down the pain with a clenched. Got. Not wanting to show anyone our weakness not wanting to shatter that image we've cultivated so carefully for so many years now of having it all together. I'm not needing anybody else thank you very much. I watch people as they erect this facade of invulnerability even in the face of their own death. For the death of a loved one. I've seen them suppress their grief by biting down on a quavering lower lip until it looked as though that lip would burst. I'm at person's shoulder and say it's okay. Just let it go. I think there's something wrong going on here. I believe that we live. A culture that encourage us. Encourages us to squelch our feeling. To deny sorrow and grief. To pretend as if none of that existed in that we are just confident happy people who got it all together. In other words i believe that we live in a culture culture that is perpetrating a conspiracy. A conspiracy against. Vulnerability. And i can't tell if we are the unwitting victims of this plot or if we are ourselves. Co-conspirators. But what i do know is that when i look around i see a lot of people who are numb emotionally. Who are cut off. You know i think part of it is that is that television in the media just to bombard us with so many sensations forced sensations manufactured feelings. That we rarely have time to notice our own. Clearly another part of the problem is that we spend so much of our time in in work environments where where competence and efficiency and a can-do attitude are valued at the expense of our vulnerability. Weakness and feeling. I mean let's face it there's just no room for a hurting person in the great machine of capitalism. Vulnerability is an inefficiency that the market is designed to weed out. For exploit. Just the other day i was noticing that in my neighborhood in washington. It's a ritual on saturday mornings for everyone to go and pick up their laundry at the dry cleaners. Until you see a lot of men walking back home with a week's worth of starched pressed shirts hanging over their shoulder and it struck me the other day that those stiff shirts are part of our emotional armor and that coupled with that tight knot on our necktie serve to keep everything below our neck cut off from us right. I have women friends who tell me that for them it's the lipstick once they put it on they got their professional face on their public face and that masks anything of sadness. Or grief or insecurity. So because we're too busy to have feelings for ourselves we we're really captivated by watching other people remote for us. So we watch oprah or dr. phil or reality television which almost always ends in some cheerful confrontation and these actors perform our emotions for us. They make a spectacle of themselves so that heaven forbid we don't have to. Stuff sometimes this conspiracy against vulnerability manifest itself in. In funny ways. When i was a kid my parents and i would sometimes go on vacation and stay in a hotel. In the morning we wake up and get dressed and you do get ready to do the fun things that you're supposed to do when you're on vacation but inevitably my dad and i would have to wait for my mother who would spend another 15 minutes or so. Picking up the room. Making the bed washing out the basin of the sink. Dorothy mom the main coming in 5 minutes she's going to tear the sheets right off that bed you just remade i know said my mother but i can't let her see a room like this it's filthy we don't like other people to see our dirty laundry. I'm all this is a classic example of a certain kind of white middle-class propriety i know that other cultures. How other cultures where there's a value placed on striving to prove that you made it. I know those cultures produce similar stories that are both laughable and poignant. Poignant because they reveal how desperate we are. To preserve the illusion that we are invulnerable. We can laugh at some of the silly ways we cover up for our messy humanness. But most of the consequences of this conspiracy. Are quite costly to us. And, at the expense of our emotional and psychological health when we cut ourselves off from our feelings we become one-dimensional inauthentic people. Shallow frankly. We are like emotional raves. Dwelling inside are starched shirts and neckties walking around with our lipstick on and feeling hardly anything. This isn't how. We were meant to live. And while we can survive like this for sometime altimate lee this surface existence leads people to a crisis. A midlife crisis or at any other time where they find themselves asking is this all there is. Isn't there anything more. Who am i anyways. Just because we can deny our pain and vulnerability it doesn't mean that they go away. They just go underground. And believe me they're a lot more dangerous there. Then if we just confront them head-on it's like that old saying i'd rather facing the enemy i know then the one that i don't know. Well i'd rather face the pain that i know. Then the one i buried deep inside of me. Hidden inside of us this pain can eat away at our soul like a cancer. Causing self-hatred. Depressions or worse. And the conspiracy against vulnerability cuts us off from other people too from the ones that we love it's a barrier to healthy loving relationships after all how can we expect to be there for someone else's feelings when we can't even be present to our own. In this state we are in incapable of genuine compassion compassion after all means to suffer with someone and you can't suffer with someone if you deny that you suffer at all. Because i've struggled with these issues myself the image that has come back to me over and over again is that. There is this clenched fist. Deep down inside of us. It's as though we hold the most vulnerable parts of ourselves in in the palm of his hand and it's some point or another usually for a very good reason we learned that we had to sort of close the fifth to protect that vulnerable place. But what's happened is it over the years we've just closed the hand tighter and tighter. And tighter until we've just got this angry fist. Offense offense clenched so tight for so long that were afraid now of what might be inside of it. It's like the monsters that we used to fear we're in our closets when we were children the longer we went without opening the closet to see for ourselves the bigger and meaner the monsters appeared to us in our imaginations. Now our pain and suffering is not imaginary but just. But when we refuse to look at it we magnify that problem. If it were afraid that if we lease our release our grip now we will lose control that our despair will be bottomless. We need. To learn to let go. We need to learn to. To relax the grip a little bit. Topeak in between the fingers of our clenched fist and face whatever pain or sorrow we locked in there so long ago. The alternative is to spend the rest of our lives with his clenched fist at the center of our being. 1/5 it every once in awhile we'll lash out and punch us right in the nose. Not to mention the fist that stretton's anyone. Who tries to come close to us. You're one of the great religious stories of all time. Was about a young man who outwitted this conspiracy against vulnerability. Give me the young prince named syd hartha whose father the king wanted only the very best for his son and so he he shield his shield and his son he tried to shield his son from all the pain and suffering in the world which i'm sure it's something that every parent is tempted to do. But all the king's court conspired with the king to keep suffering and frailty and pain from the eyes of the young prince and instead they lavished him with all the luxuries of the world. Until one day the prince was riding in his gilded chariot. And saw an old man resting by the side of the road. When the princess what sort of man is this. His driver said. Siddhartha this is old age. We all become old one day. The next day. Siddhartha went out again in his on his ride and he saw in a ditch by the side of the road just sickly man and he said what sort of man is this. This is illness. Replied the driver. We all can become sick one day. On the third day the prince's chariot encountered a funeral procession. With loved ones weeping over a corpse and when his driver saw the look of shock and horror on the young princes face he said siddhartha all who are born must die. And from that moment on rather than trying to run away from the suffering he had witnessed the young prince left the royal court and began his quest to face the suffering head on. To know it for what it was. And ultimately to move pruitt. True compassion. Two enlightenment. That's the story of the buddha's awakening. Hear it all souls we have said that we want all members of this church to discover the source of love in their lives. The fountainhead from which our joy and our love flows and as your minister i would be remiss if i didn't point out to you that the buddha's story is not unique. That all too often. The path that leads to the source of love in our lives. Passes first. Through the land of our deep suffering and sorrow. And i would be derelict in my duties if i didn't remind you that so often the source of our deepest love dwells right next to our deepest pain side-by-side inside that clenched fist. Down within us. Just waiting to be freed. We must discover. The people. And the places. Then encourage us to be whole human beings. That encouraged us not to deny our vulnerability but to embrace it. Compassionately. We need to find the places where it is safe for us to begin to unclench that fists. And that's a good news. Of the love and the welcome that are embodied in our name all sold for not only is all souls a vision of a community where all people are welcome at the table it is a vision of a community where all the parts of all the people are welcome at the table not just the pretty parts and the efficient parts. But the broken ones too. My prayer. For you. For me and for all of us. Is that we will discover this generous hospitality. Call hospitality that welcomes our whole selves. I pray that we discover it in our intimate relationships. Here in our church. But most importantly. In our own hearts. Because that's where the healing. Of all our wounds. Begins. In the heart's capacity. To forgive itself. For being vulnerable. May it be so. I'm in.
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07.01.07FamilyMatters.mp3
As i begin this morning i'm aware that several of you on your way instead you were looking forward to this morning sermon. Not the least of which i think it's because many of us just spent time with family. And so i hope that this will be a rich conversation because sermons although they are more monologues than conversation i really do see them as a conversation. And this morning's reading is from one of really what i can say is one of the more remarkable books that i have read in quite some time. I can't commend it to you more highly than i would commend it to you now. It was my first experience reading what's called a graphic novel witch. Isn't well away some sense a comic book for adults if he will. It's a book that's entitled fun home. A family tragic-comic she calls it. By woman named alison bechdel. And fun home is because her family runs a funeral home. And the book is a memoir of her experiences with family life. And in particular her examination of her connection with her father who passed away. Oh when she was rather young and her trying to come to grips with and make sense. Of him and her connection to him. And the book begins with her describing the childhood game that she would sometimes play with her father. Of airplane now i'm sure many of you know airplane is that game where you lie on your back and you put your feet up and get the kid right on your feet and get them moving around above your head. And she talks about how that game of airplane with her father came. To her to serve as a metaphor. For the roles that she and her father came to play in one another's lives. I really wish i could read the entire book to you in even more i wish i i could project the images that go with the words because that's part of what makes it. Such a remarkable book is because it's image and word. Married in such a wonderful way. But i'll just share with you this snippet of fun home. In the circus. Acrobatics where one person lies on the floor balancing another. Are called acarien games. In our particular reenactment of this mythic relationship. It was not me but my father. Who was the plummet from the sky. But before he did so he managed to get quite a lot done. His greatest achievement arguably. Was his monomaniacal restoration of our old house. He could conjure an entire finished. interior. From a paint chip. He was an alchemist of appearance. A savant of surface. A daedalus of daycore. For if my father was icarus. He was also daedalus. That skillful artificer. That mad scientist. Who built the wings for his son and designed the famous labyrinth. And who answered knots to the laws of society. But to those of his craft. It could have been a romantic story. Like in it's a wonderful life when jimmy stewart and donna reed fix up that big old house and raised their family there. Sometimes. When things were going well i think my father actually enjoyed having a family. Or at least. The air of authenticity we lent to his exhibit. A sort of still life with children. In this regard. It was a lot like being raised not by jimi but by martha stewart. Ultimately. However. I grew to resent. The way my father treated his furniture. Like children. And his children. Like furniture. Family matters. In some very real sense i feel that i have been working on this sermon my entire life. This is not to say that this morning's sermon will contain whole truths and complete insights about the meaning of family. It is simply to say and honestly to say. The trying to figure out what it means to be part of a family. And now most recently what it means to be part of creating a nuclear family. To become a parent has been some of the most significant work of my life. And i also recognized as i begin and i think it's very important for me to say this. But the topic of family for many is troublesome and problematic. Family is complex for every single one of us. And always has been. Even before there were when there were fewer forms of family than there are now. But for some among us this morning and for perhaps some who avoided even coming to church this morning when they knew i would be speaking about family. Family can be a source of deep hurt. And intense struggle. All of the levels of family. Immediate and extended nuclear and adoptive and in law. All of those connections that come by way of birth and blood and later in life by chosen tithe. Lead to so many ups and downs. And lead to so many constantly negotiated and renegotiated relationships. And so i know as i begin this morning. That what i say is not. Something that can be seen as monolithic or the last word. But that with many of us having just spend sometime over the holidays. Once again in the company of family members. It seems like as good a time as any. To reflect once again on the meaning of family life. So let me begin. With a personal story because how can you speak about family and not have it be at least a little bit personally. When i began my college career and i was in my freshman writing class trying to learn something about what it meant to put some sentences together. I found that i learned a great deal more when i chose to write about my grandfather. I wrote an essay for my freshman 101 writing class. About my mother's father. Edgar allen greene. And my. Up and down feelings about him over the years. I turned in the essay and we gathered in my professor's office several of us to talk about our most recent assignment. And linda brown my professor at the time turn to me when it was my turn to talk about my essay. And she said that she could tell that not only was my writing muddled but my feelings were. Just as much confused. She could tell that i hadn't quite made peace with my relationship with my grandfather. But i wasn't quite sure how i felt. About him. She said something to me then which i will never forget. Not because i remember exactly what she said but because i remember. What it meant to me. She said something to the effect of. Needing to make peace with a fact that it was possible she said. To love someone. That i didn't always like. That it was possible to love someone that i perhaps frequently didn't agree with. It was my first real lesson. Then in the fact that being family to someone doesn't really assure us of anything. But it doesn't guarantee any certain quality of relationship just because you're related. Being family it seemed she said to me. Counted for something. But it sure didn't guarantee or seal the deal. And so was i left her office and pondered my relationship with my grandfather. Pondered the distinctions and differences between love and like. Between love and agreement and disagreement. I realized i was left with some thoughts about legacy. About how we can be grateful to and love those members of our family who have made our lives possible. Even when we don't see eye-to-eye. And so i lift up for you this morning that same question. I've how is it that those we were late to in our families. How is it that weekend. Love them. And thank them and express gratitude and honor the legacy that they have given us. And the roles they have played in shaping us. Even when we don't get along with them. How do we give fagg's. Adequate and honest thanks. To those who made our very existence possible. And yet of course as we all know. Those family connections. Will require more than simple gratitude. At least they will if they're. To be built on something more than just the obligations of family but genuine care and love for one another. So what happens when there isn't more than that. What happens when you have people in your family that you love because they are your family but you don't feel. Genuine like for them. What happens when you don't feel much. In, nor much affection. Or if when truth be told you don't really enjoy their company so much. You find yourself at that family gathering going through what feels like a wrote. Motions of the things that you've always done with these people that he won't but it's really not you. Then what. You know i i brought this up recently with some friends. We were talking about what you can do in these situations how do you handle the limits of family connection. What do you do if and when you feel like it's so much an obligation and not at all or nurturing or life-giving thing to spend time with your family. These are people you're supposed to love your supposed to go spend your obligatory thanksgiving with these people whether you like them or not. But what if you don't have to. Is it ever okay to choose less connection is it ever okay to walk away altogether. Well i haven't quite decided that for myself yet but i can see where there are times when maybe it's okay. To say that that tv image of the perfect family. Those images we've been handed of what it means to be a family member. Whether they're functional or dysfunctional. That sometimes it's okay to say that enough is enough. But sometimes it's okay. To say maybe this. Just isn't going to work. What are we called to be. Who are we called to be with our families. I don't think it's that person who just sits through family gatherings because you're supposed to. I think the calling is to find a way to be family. That feels real. I think we're called to create family ties that are more than simply a give in. That are meaningful. In their own way not just because we are family to one another but because our connection has love and care and beauty all its own. And that means sometimes. When that isn't the case. Giving ourselves permission. Collect go. Or to give up. When nothing seems to work. Clearly friends. There are many times when our images of family only confuse us more. When are. Send stuff what family should be. Only makes it harder to actually be in a family. And i've been thinking a lot lately about how we talked about all souls church. We sometimes say it's our church family. We have it every week that we are part of a great family of all souls. And yet i think if we are going to continue to throw around the word family all the time. We might need to do some defining of terms. Not just. About what family is which of course is the hot topic in our society. Who gets to say who's in a family and what kind of constellation of people creates a family. I'm not really interested in that debate. Because as far as i'm concerned it's really not a debate worth having families our family's love is love you're a family your family that's it. What i am interested in what i am interested in especially in the context of our church. Is thinking seriously about why we throw it around the word family and how confusing it is to not really know what that means are even how hurtful that is for people for whom family. Is just a sad and difficult and tangled web. We are not family to one another at all souls church in my mind what we are to one another is community. We are people that can remind one another. The network of care and compassion stretches further than blood relatives and. Friends in that typical sense. We are a community of friendship and kinship. In that sense that we are part of a great family. Of. Love and community not family by blood not family and even the. Broadest sense of that term. I suppose what i'm trying to say is that while their qualities that church and family share. Being to fant being family to someone. Is a much more complicated thing that we don't actually have in this building in our relationships to each other. Being family to someone is rooted in staying connected. No matter what. Through ups and downs. It's it's rooted in. Being with people. Leave a room for you to be your true and full self. Which i know some immediate family is doing always do i know you've just been come on it's in the holidays we should leave been with those people who don't allow you to fully be yourself. And yet. These distinctions. He's important distinctions between family and not family. I think will help us. Cannot expect something from one another here at the church. In our church community. That is unrealistic. Where do you expect. Or to confuse and conflate or delay or over on top of our church family. All that we bring with us baggage and otherwise. From our biological families. So let me close. This confusing conversation about family. With another personal story. About my own family. As many of you know my own family has been a source of great confusion and great joy for me not the least of which because the two sides of my family are different races. I went to summer to visit my paternal grandmother. The only living grandparent that i've got left. My nana as i call her who is 89 years old. And is in a retirement community up in new hampshire. That is a specially created for those with memory loss issues. My grandmother is now suffering from alzheimer's disease. And she wasn't quite sure who i was. She certainly didn't remember meeting my partner before and she had no idea who this baby was that we brought to see her other than that she was cute. She was very clear that there was a very cute baby. Several times as we sat there with my grandmother with my nana she turned to my father who was there and said. So you never did have any children. And i realized in that moment. In that complicated. Family moment. That that woman. Wilma burton goodwin. Will always be my grandmother. And i will always be her granddaughter whether she remembers it or not. That i will always be linked to her in ways that i will never fully comprehend. Ways beyond our physical features that are similar. Beyond our character attributes and love of jazz that we share in common. That i will always be her granddaughter and in her debt. But at the same time. I will have to be my own person. She will not remember for me who i am becoming or where i have been. That i have to write for myself. This reminded me that that's. What being part of a family is really like. It's about knowing that you are connected to people in ways that you cannot ask for. But you cannot ever let go of. And yet you will at some point have to be your own person. Chart your own path and course. That will sometimes taking closer to those members of your family and sometimes will take you further away. For family is that place. Where our identities intersect. Where we are child and sibling. Where we are parent or grandparent aunt or uncle. And where we run into trouble. When those roles and those responsibilities become so fixed. So immovable. That we. Can't find ourselves anymore. And don't feel empowered to be ourselves at all. And so my prayer for us. Not only in this new year but in every year in our connections with family. Is that our family ties might lead us. Always to give thanks for the origins of our being. And also remind us that we are the authors of our own stories. But love and care and connection are much more than skin or even blood deep. That we can create family. With nearly anyone. And that the lessons of family. Teach us who we are and who we aren't. Friends may we seek ties. And when we need to may we be willing to let them go. So that our flourishing as human beings. Can be as full. And as whole. Andaz. Encompassing. As embracing as possible. So may it be. And i'm mad.
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07.09.30ThePracticeOfReverence.mp3
A few weeks ago a woman came up to me after church. And said she needed to talk. I haven't seen her in over a year she had come to all souls while attending college in dc but it since moved to the gulf coast. To help rebuild after hurricane katrina. When we finally sat down to speak in my office she told me more of her story a story she's giving me permission to share with you this morning. She left for louisiana a year-and-a-half ago eager to lend a hand in that devastated community. But what you found when she got there. Was even worse than she'd imagined. She described for me. The relentless emotional and psychological strain. Of living and working. In a disaster zone. She spoke of the rage that she felt. At the injustice of it all and how day after day. She had to swallow that rage like a bitter pill. Because of one setback after another. In the relief effort. She told me she'd watch co-workers crack and break down under the emotional stress for no matter how much you work no matter how many hours you put in there always remained an overwhelming amount of work. To be done. And when this young woman's felt. Began to feel that she herself was about to break down she got out. She took a break. Just for a few months. When we spoke she was about to return for another year. Her question to me that morning. The reason she pulled me aside and asked for some words alone was to ask me essentially this. What can i do. To save my soul. What can i do. To save my soul. I shouldn't mean save in the sense of being saved from sin and let into heaven. Cement saved in the sense of. Survival. What can i do to keep my soul from being torn to shreds. In the midst of so much suffering how do i hold a peaceful center. In the midst of such tragedy how do i find grace. What can i do. To save my soul. I share this woman's story with you for two reasons first because i know that many of you have been deeply affected. By your own experience visiting and working in new orleans. Large group from the church went last spring and many of you have been i know on your own. And i thought you could relate to her story. But i have another reason for sharing it a reason to takes me to the heart of my sermon this morning. Because this young woman's story offers in my mind a glimpse into a side of spirituality that we don't often see portrayed in our culture. These days. We tell you what i mean. I am concerned that that spirituality. Has become terribly. Waterdown. In our contemporary. American culture. As if a spiritual life or just another choice. In a menu of life enhancements opportunities. Let me explain earlier this summer i was struck by this when i walked into a pharmacy. What we used to call a drugstore. And overheard a customer ask an employee something i never thought i'd hear asked for in a drugstore. Even a high-end. Holistic drugstore which this was. In berkeley california. The gentleman asked the employee at the drugstore. Do you have any little. Buddhas. And he asked as naturally as if he just said you carry advil in the tiny gel caps. I was further surprised when the employees smiled and said why yes we have little buddhas. And proceeded to show the gentleman i display of not only buddha's small and large i might add. But yoga mats. Candles incense and a smattering of self-help books. And that's when it struck me that spirituality in america is in danger of becoming something that we merely consume. Grab off the shelf. Or worse. That it has become a luxury item. Like getting a facial. Or a spa treatment. Something to make the good life. Even better. And so i share this woman's story to remind us that that properly understood the nurturing and sustaining of our souls is not a luxury but a necessity. Sometimes even a matter of survival. A desperate attempt to keep our lives from careening out of control consumed by sorrow or anxiety. For pain. Into the young woman's question still remains before us. What can i do. To save my soul. Call religious ancestors on the unitarian side. Were among the first spiritual seekers in the west to shift. The essential question of religion from. How do i save my soul for the afterlife. 2. How do i sustain my soul. In this life. Basically believe that they believe that if we took care of our spiritual business in this life. The next one would take care of itself. Msr shift is our focus shifted from the bye and bye. To the here and now. They stopped uri in chance. The world. A world that have been dedicated by both orthodox believers who called it a valid tears and secular materialists who saw it as nothing more than a machine. They went about searching for the holy. In the mundane. They studied human life. Human fulfillment and liberation. The nature of a just society the earth and her creatures believing that the holy could be found here in our very midst we didn't have to look elsewhere. Just as the rabbi studies the torah and love it lovingly immerse himself in his complex minutiae and nuance and contradiction believing that in the midst of all that he'll find god. Our unitarian ancestors lavished reverent attention. Upon this world. Believing that in its minutiae. It's nuanced. It's contradiction. Could be a sound assurances of. And guidance from. The spirit. Life. Was there scripture. But in order for life to reveal its meaning to us. We had to bring a certain quality to our living. Said the early unitarians and they called that quality. Reverence. Irreverence is one of those words that i think we all have a sense of what it means but it's sometimes hard to really pin down. Premier everence is fundamentally. Adeeb. Respect. It is an attitude of all. And wonder. Ingratitude. For something of high or ultimate value. Albert schweitzer. The doctor and theologian famous for his concept of reverence for life. Had this to say about reverence and i hope you'll listen carefully. He said. Affirmation of life. Is the spiritual act. By which man. Women. Ceases to live. Unreflective lee. And begins to devote himself to his life with reverence. In order to raise it. To its true value. I want to say that again and make sure it's sing sin he said affirmation of life is the spiritual act. By which woman. Ceases to live. Unreflective lee. And begins to devote herself to her life. With reverence. In order to raise it. To its true value. For schweitzer as well as our unitarian ancestors reverence was not merely an attitude. With a way of life. A practice. I'll practice characterized by careful reflective. Pension. To life. And its meaning. Let me share with you a quick story about this practice of reverence. Or the lack thereof. This summer i took a hike in the marin headlands. Just north of san francisco. My hike began the path begin deep in a wooded gulch. That gradually switched back up out of the dark woods. And onto a sun-drenched bank filled with. Big scratchy brush. Bushes. That that loomed over my head in the end that claude at my clothes as i walked by so that i could barely see on either side of me. From time to time the brush. Would russell and crack. Under the weight of an animal. Pawpaw. And i was certain that one of the mountain lions that still stalk the marin headlands was about to pounce. On me. Luckily it was just a deer. Find me the brush cleared and i emerged on the top of the hill. With views. All around. In front of me. With the pacific ocean. Shimmering in the sun stretching to the horizon. And behind me. Over the next mountain. I could see the tops. Of the two rust-colored stanchions of the golden gate bridge. With san francisco silhouetted. In the distance. I paused for a moment. And took in the view. But having reached the culmination of my hike and honestly. Still a little anxious about the mountain lions. I quickly headed back down. But after a few moments i stopped myself and reflected on what i just done. On the beauty. I turned my back on. And i'm march myself back up that hill. And sat down. And just savored. Pausing in reverence attention. Before the earth's beauty. Giving thanks. Pursue some path. Said theroux. However narrow and crooked. In which you can walk. With love. And reverence. The spiritual riches that life offers us are not revealed. By a cursory glance. Or surface impression. Life's meaning is revealed. In its texture. Units details. And the only way we're going to notice is if we cultivate a practice. Irreverent. Living. Taking time to savor. And to give. Thanks. What can i do. To save my soul. Before the young woman left my office that morning i pressed into her hand. A little sheet of instructions. They were instructions. For a prayer. A meditation really. The central spiritual practice of our unitarian ancestors is what i put into her hands. You see. Aware that reverence doesn't always come naturally. Aware that there are people like me who can look at a sun-drenched ocean and turn and walk away. Early unitarians developed practices designed to cultivate reverend living. Practices that the develop habits of attentiveness and sensitivity to the spiritual dimension. Omar lives. Now hopefully the ushers have pressed a similar instruction sheet. Into your hands. This morning this one eye is what i'm talking about now. I have these printed up yesterday and i. I delegated the color choice to someone else in the office and i might not have chosen fuchsia. On which the prince of the meditative self-examination though. I was picking on fuchsia and the first service and the the future twins down here in the future down here in the choir took exception to my future, i'm not going to. But on this little card lays out the meditative discipline that i'm talking about. Each day before going to bed our ancestors would take themselves. On a guided meditation of their day. Carefully. Reverently recalling its details. They paid attention to their relationships. Asking if they treated others with respect and love. They notice the work they've done. And asked if it was principled and righteous. They look for glimpses of grace signs of the spirit little moments they might have otherwise overlooked in the rush of their day. They examine the moral and ethical situations that they faced during the day and judge whether they cheated the demands. A conscience. They poured over their lives like the rabbi over his torah. Convinced that it would yield truth. And meaning. And at the end of the meditation that usually fell into prayer. Prayers of gratitude for the blessings of the day. Prayers of forgiveness for that which needed forgiving. And a promise. To make good on the day. By going into tomorrow weiser. Ambetter. Now when you look at it on its little. Piece of fuchsia cardstock. It doesn't look like a very special thing. It doesn't look like it has anything to do with a mountaintop experience or or straw struggling soul. In new orleans. But i think it has everything to do with those experiences. Her only by cultivating a habit. Of reverence. Day in and day out. Can we experience it. In our daily lives. That's what spiritual practices are for. Exercises designed to develop. Our faculties. I've been practicing this. This practice now off and on for over 10 years. And despite. Lapses that i shared with you earlier in the sermon. I recommended to you highly. It has deepened. My life. When the young woman left my office that morning i reflected. On our time together and was reminded. Have a story that a mentor of mine once told. You told me about a time when he was a young man. And he one time was consumed with with rage. And with sorrow. And he was driven to prayer at that during that time not. By the love of god. For he didn't even believe in god back then. But out of a desperate need. Quail that rage. I'm at sorrow. Well his crisis was averted and the rage has subsided. But thirty years later he still praying. Every morning. And now he'll tell you he wouldn't give it up. For the world. Because its prayer life has added in measurable depth. And richness. To his life. And she left my office that morning. My wish. For the young woman. Was that a prayer turns to in crisis. Might one day for her. Become a source of not only solace. But a rich. And reverence. Living. And that's my prayer for all of us.
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07.02.04OurLivesInContext.mp3
So here we are. A sunday after rob's last sunday for 6 and a half months and. I simply want to say first and foremost before i begin the the reading and sermon this morning that i appreciate all of the vote of confidence that many of you have. Whispered in my direction. Many of you have asked me how it's going it's only been a week so ask me again later but so far so good. And i want to appreciate especially jennifer keller's comment to me that this morning that this is the first time in a hundred and eighty-five years that a woman has been leading this congregation so i follow in the footsteps so take that nancy pelosi. So this morning sermon all kidding aside is that entitled out lives in context. And the reading this morning i will beg your indulgence upon its a bit academic and tone. But it's from a book that i found rather fascinating of sociological studies. A book with the wonderful title together alone. Personal relationships in public places. And the authors of this book. Spent time in myriad different locations. And i just love the image of people sitting like in a bar or coffee shop or a gym writing notes about people so look out there might be sociologist watching you wherever you are. They were at playgrounds and inns around support groups in gyms and bars examining how we modern americans are and are not connecting with one another in public places. And at the end of the book. The editors of it. Calvin borel david snow and cindy white. Draw a few conclusions and even more than that raised more questions. That their research points toward. And here's some just a little bit of what they have to say. Who won is. Depends on where one is. Identity resides not in the individual alone. But in the interaction between the individual and his or her social environment. Indeed particular places can highlight or suppress particular aspects of one's identity. And once interactional practices. Interactional. How you relate to be. Thus increasing the likelihood. That one will enact the kinds of relational ties most prevalent in that setting. We now live. In the 21st century. And it is clear that the relational landscape. Has been transformed to include. A greater role for public sociality. Accelerated social mobility. Alternative family forms. And electronically mediated relationships. That could not have been envisioned by previous generation. What is unclear. Is how this new relational landscape. Especially the fleeting and anchored relationships in public places. Links to what are considered more durable and intimate. Ties. How and under what conditions. Do public connections. Compensate for lost or absent. Primary relay. And the sociological. So what does all this mean. What it means to me is that the news about how well we modern americans connect to one another. Is not at all promising. In together alone the sociologist make it clear that although the ways that we can connect with one another. Have never been more variety very dormir.. We are more often are around each other. But we're not necessarily interacting in ways that are significant or meaningful. The sociologist robert putnam in his oft-cited book bowling alone. Has bemoaned the loss of civic organizations. Which used to serve as a sort of glue that held neighborhoods and communities more closely together. We've lost the social capital he says. To get things done. To advance causes that we care about. And most importantly to care for one another. And most recently headlines proclaimed that a duke university study. That was in the june issue of the american sociological review. Had found that most americans now have fewer clothes ties. Then ever before. Certainly more so than in the past several decades. There's circle of confidence is smaller than ever. Apparently only 25% of the people that they surveyed in this duke study. 25% percent said that they have had absolutely nobody to confide in anymore. A third of the people said that they had fewer friends than they used to. Smaller and smaller our circle of connections in spite of the fact that there are more and more ways for us to connect. More and more ways in which we are around each other all the time. So why is this the case. Why are we in one another's company but not really knowing each other. Well i suppose the short answer is because our lives are complicated. I'm not sure that they're more complicated than they used to be but i suppose that some would argue they are. We are busy people. And we have so many things which influence us and which push upon us and demand our time and attention. In the midst of all of the news and the popular culture and the internet searches and the opinions of other people around us. We find it hard in that swirl. To figure out. Coo and. What an. How it is that we should be. In this world. We find it harder and harder to feel grounded. To feel situated somewhere to feel clear. About who it is that we are. How it is that we might pull ourselves together in. Some. Coalesced being. The den of our culture of our world. Around us is so loud. That we can no longer hear the still small voice within. Which some might call conscience. Others of us soul and other still god. We can't hear. Unless we go out of our way to create a space. That will allow us to listen. And then he'd the admonitions of hours for. How can we now. Hold fast to. What we most want. For our lives. Not simply what is most convenient. Or what is most popular. Of course nothing that i've just said is surprising to you. We all know all of this that our lives are busy and complicated. Confusing. What i'm worried about is that too often our response is to sort of take our toys and go home. Too often our response is to close ourselves off it's all just too much so we retreat. Things are so hectic and so confusing and so much as asked of us. That most of the time we rather engage les. Shut other people out and simply circle the wagons of our lives if. And to go from home to work. And back again. Trying to do as little as possible outside of those two spheres of our existence. And then somewhere along the line. We decide that that isn't satisfying either. That living life in a bubble of home and work. Not interacting with anyone beyond our most immediate circle. Isn't satisfying enough. We longed for more connection. And we know that our lives.
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07.07.29GettingBeyondHowAreYou.mp3
Our meeting for this morning comes from lifesigns by henri nouwen a widely recognized rotor writer who spent many years as the master of daybreak a community for intellectually disabled people in toronto. Before his death in 1996. Fearful distance and fearful closeness. Are noticeable in the larger context of our lives. Prison mental hospitals in refugee camps are often built far away from the places where normal people live. To keep the fear evoking strangers at a safe distance. Other types of distance abound. Safe topics to discuss. Fake issues to get involved in safe subject to write about. One can find the safe closeness of the clique. The sect or the club. Places where people huddled together in mutual admiration or common suspicion of the outsider. In a time like ours. When fear takes on an apocalyptic dimension. Is extremely tempting to join a small group they called non-members useless. Dangerous or evil. And offers a unique sense of belonging. To those who. Follow the rules. But whether through distance for a closeness. Fear prevents us. From forming an intimate community. In which we can grow together. Everyone in his or her own way. When fear separates us. Or joins us. We can no longer confess to each other our sins. Our brokenness. And. Our wounds. How then can we forgive each other and come to reconciliation. Distance allows us to ignore the other. Is having no significance in our lives. And closeness. Office of an excuse. For never expressing or confessing. Our feelings of being hurt. A few months ago. I met a 10 year old boy. While having dinner at the friend of a friend's house. I was actually the driver so they had to invite me in. The boy was the son of a couple hosting a dinner party. And he appeared average in every way. Slight build glasses. Quiet and polite when introduced to the adult. And after the introductions he probably chose something from the refrigerator. And disappeared. Every evening drew to a close. I stepped out of the room to get some fresh air. On my way out i noticed the ten-year-old at the computer and one of the rooms down the hall. I casually asked. What are you doing. I'm looking for information about chakras. Is it true that there's a connection between what goes on a and what goes on out there. If it's truly could really help people. Whoa not the response i was expecting i was expecting nothing playing games emailing. Definitely definitely not a boy engaged in an intense search for the truth behind the power of chakra. With the express intent of saving the world. I recovered from my surprise quickly. And i moved towards the boy if he began pointing to the screen and saying you see this blue here that's where the spirit is and this red circle that's the chakra. Anjappar wondering how we can connect the two. I knelt down beside him and we talked about the spirit and spiritual power and the ways people connect the two. At the close of our conversation he thanked me for talking with him. I think his words were. Thanks for help me figure this out. I quickly shared my thanks because i felt we work this out together and that there was much more to understand. Ebony hot dog to the next adventure. Although we didn't put our feelings into words. I suspect he's so grateful for the opportunity to share his questions and thoughts with someone. I know i felt grateful. But the openness and trust he shared with me. I felt honored to enter the struggle for meaning with him. On a topic he felt intensely curious about. Even if only for a moment. As unitarian universalist. We know something about this feeling of gratitude. In finding a community. Where are questions are affirmed. Even when we know the answers are not immediately available. Nor perhaps. Will be ever become completely known. We appreciate the willingness of others. To accompany us on the quest. And we explicitly affirm this support in two of our principles. We covenant. To affirm and promote a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. And we will practice acceptance of one another. And encouragement and spiritual growth. In our congregations. As we consider embodying these principles in our lives. It's helpful to remember i think. The vision of a church stated quite simply by unitarian universalist minister angus maclean. He writes. There are times. Occasions. Areas. In which we as individuals are strong. And there are times and places. Where it is hazardous for us to go it alone. That is why in my opinion. The church could be of immeasurable service to us as individuals. If it's partly live up to what i envision for it. I may be just a visionary. But i do not think it beyond us at the church. To have support. One another in arlo moment. And on the other hand have outlets for strength. When and where we are strong. It is certainly my vision. To contribute to creating more spaces at all souls church. Where we can reasonably expect. You have the support of one another in our times of need. Well on the other hand making space for the full expression of our strengths and gifts. When we're feeling strong. I believe we move closer to this vision. By realizing the truth. And spiritual growth. Sometimes require. Us to move beyond asking. How are you. And invites us to abandon the usual response. Find. Okay. I want to reassure you that casual conversation is appropriate most of the time. The point is. Can we move beyond it when we need to. Can we create the time and a space. To ask bottle question. And can we openly and honestly share ourselves with one another. What gets in the way of an honest answer to the question. How are you. 41. In a culture that teaches us. Probably or stubbornly go it alone. It's hard to ask for help. Or confess our weaknesses. We are afraid of rejection. Misunderstanding. And the whole embarrassment of it all. We sometimes fall back on the notion that we are private people. And uncomfortable with sharing our grief. Our sorrow. Or hurts with others. I want something i heard licensed psychologist dr. robin smith say on this subject. She said. You were not born private. The world taught you to be that way. You were not born private. Allowing for differences in personality. Some of us are truly introverts and shy. And some of us dislike the spotlight. We have to find a way of speaking our heart that matches and work for a personality style. I want to suggest if there is freedom in these words. You were not going private. There's freedom for those of us who hold on too tightly to our feeling. For fear what will happen if we let down our guard. Is one who has been there i can attest to how difficult it is to share your thoughts and feelings with others. But in time you get better. And the best thing is. You get heard. It's also a challenge to bear witness to the pain and suffering of others. When we are with others are inability to saul. Or help them solve the problem. Makes us angry. And uncomfortable. We cannot heal the wounds or answer the question. Then we would like to. You would rather not know too much. Knowing the whole truth. In recognizing our inability to change things. Brings us face-to-face with our limitations. And our fears. We avoid the scary topics. Purse. they will meet a challenge we can't overcome. In a book of conversation starters entitled turning to one another. Meg wheatley tells the story of a south african woman. Who she says began to tell the story of true horror. How she found her grandparents slaughtered in their village. Wheatley continues. Many of the women were westerners. And in the presence of such pain they instinctively wanted to do something. They wanted to fix. Make it better. Anyting to remove pain of his tragedy. Such a young life. The young woman felt the compassion. But i also felt them closing in. She put her hands up as if to say. Thanks. But i don't need you to fix me. I just need you to listen to me. The women learn the lesson in the power of listening. That can heal. What it can't fix. We are listen to. That can be enough. It takes effort. Sometimes a lot of effort to listen intentionally to another's pain. And faith in the healing power of listening. My pastoral care instructor called it listening for both the words and the music. When we listen deeply to another we hear not only the words. But the unnamed feelings and truth behind the word. When have you experienced someone listening deeply to you. What difference did it make for you when someone reached out and cared. Crossing the safe distance together as unitarian universalist. Means opening yourself up to the stories and questions and experiences of others. Those around us. And enjoying the blessing of others. Being with others. What does that mean being with others. We know for example there's a long tradition in a christian. Story. A describing being with others as a means of dwelling in the spirit. Who where two or three are gathered together in my name there am i in the midst of them. And we know the jewish tradition honors relating to one another as an extension of rain relating to the eternal vow. All real living is meeting the jewish scholar butter martin buber states. It is turning forward one another. That we find an experience wholeness. The lakota sioux in the smoking of what is often called the peace pipe with the words. We are all related. An assertion of the spiritual friendship among the participants. And we are aware. Of the ordinary groups of friends and neighbors. Explaining the completion of a project. But impossible in the beginning with these simple words. Some friends and i started talking. Organizational consultant meg wheatley reminds us. There is no power for change. Greater than a community. Discovering what it cares about. It is the power of being together. Avene with others which leads to lasting changes. As unitarian universalist we tend to speak of being with other as entering into covenant. Being with others refers to our ability to accept. One another. Offer encouragement to spiritual growth. To live in right relation with one another. We choose to commit ourselves to being good friends. And good neighbors. As a spiritual practice. Henry nelson wyman called being with others on this level. The creative interchange. The creative interchange move beyond what he calls the cliche. The scale convention. Any automatic reactions we encountered. In casual conversation. He concluded that without creative interchange we experienced a spiritual death. Weiman understood the need to share our experiences vividly. With all the life and color and energy that we can muster. As a creative process. A creative process for deepening our sense of self. And our capacity to give an experience love. We gather in this community. Because we know what it means to encounter the blessing of being with others. It means opening our hearts and minds.
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07.03.18ReflectionsOnSocialJustice.mp3
Social justice. Sunday. So it is. Appropriate that. H a pal davies fund. Sabbatical. Funding are gaspard. And that bishop john selders. That's for this day. So a warm. The ham i'm going to tell you a little bit about him. He comes from several religious route. Flavors. Pentecostal upbringing. Bishop in the anglican order of the african orthodox church. Ucc minister serving as pastor at amistad you. In hartford. But he is my usage. Akali. I was not responsible for this. Haitian but i sure was delighted by it. He is a colleague with whom i have served on the nash. The board of. The coalition. For less. Gabe i said. And bishop's elders and i were nash. Coordinator. Together. Of the bisexual network of our denominator. He is a national spokesperson with the human rights can. Religion of faith council. And. This is where sharon groves and others who go to also. Work. He and his wonderful wife pam have a son a daughter a beautiful girl. He has been my community organizing buddy over the last seven years. And. Is my friend. And i. So. This morning. And no we are in. Country dance. I greet you. It's the word. Blessing. I am humbled. To be here. And it is my honor. Do happen. Ask to be a part of your distinguished guests. Preacher series during the. Sabbatical. Reverend. And yes i am the willing victim of a sharon grove instigation. Reverend hardee's invitation and louise green and her partner. The regina's. Hospitality and most wonderful reception. Of me too. Share some reflections with you as we have gathered today in this sacred space and place. And as i stand behind this most. Prestigious. Pulpit. Let me also acknowledge. Part of my spiritual family who are here among us. The reverend cedric harmon my brother and friend and colleague. Esteemed. Nicole labor in the gospel for some now many years. Would you stand. Angry. Your family thank you. To be in here. Mileage partners at the human rights campaign staff people who are here would you stand. I ryan and. Sharon and kyle. Thank you very much for doing p.m.. Dr. sharon groves and her partner and kyla. And your partner greg. Thank you for being here being my support and moral support and partner. And partners in crime as we do the work we. Have been past doing finally. Special thanks to. My sister. And friend the reverend louise green in a partner. For being such gracious. And loving hose to me. This entire. I love you both and i'm indebted to you next time it's. Stand here. Recognizing and seeing that i am in. The company. Such a great cloud of witnesses. Not only are you here. But the reverend robert little. Co-founder the honorable john quincy adams. Delete civil rights march on the reverend james reeb and the sainted and revered. Reverend david. They are here too. I must acknowledge the memory presents of my own answer. Those of african impersonation. Relatives of mine whose face and indomitable spirit i have inherited and whose lands we now occupy. I dunno ask for the permission. Bataka yahtzee. May we always remember. And never for. And i also too must acknowledge. The memory presents of the bishop william earl sellers senior and the mother queenly as she was annie easter selders my paternal grandparents. The preacher and the musician whose blood runs warm in my veins and whose spirit has overshadowed me from the beginning of my life and to my dad the reverend gerald devron ford whose memory will never grow them in my. May i always. And while i'm at it. Let me see one more thing. I am a black gospel. Trained in the best of the tradition and i am accustomed to the air and flow of preacher teacher and congregation in the idiom and context of the black church worship experience so generally in settings such as if you don't get with me i'm going to be long and boring. Speaking ebonics. If you failed ant-man every now and then if you wave your hand every so often if you acknowledge with her hand clap applause will be soon truth and you'll enjoy the ride. Let me let me let me. Begin. Oh yeah i'm going to preach this morning. Lord i feel like i'm feeling kinda at home up here brother. Let me let me begin my. My remarks in the message. What does a few short a couple. Short passages. That will serve for me the basis of my reflections with you. Well. Charity. Ain't justice. Charity is a beautiful thing but you don't got to be charitable to me if i already got justice. If i already got a sense of participation you ain't got to be charitable to me. Just treat me right every day. That's why that's why you and i are on the same ship in fact we're traveling on the same plane. You might be traveling in first class eating filet mignon and i might be eating peanuts in the back and roll. 55. If you're on the plane being in first class ain't going to stop you from going down with the rest of us. When there's turbulence that's turbulence everywhere everybody shaking it and if the plane goes down you might die first in first class yes yes. What will you do to speak to the pilot to tell the pilot to tell the control center that we've got the change directions to lester purviance leave our own deck. That's the truth. We've got to tell. That's the courage we've got the mustard that's the beauty of soul we must have really reveal to one another in the quietness of our own individual. A reading from. Contemporary prophet. Rev dr. michael eric dyson. Noted author and professor at. Second reading. From one of my saints and heroes. Brother james. If you really wish to know how justice is administered in a country. One does not question the police. The lawyers. The judges. The protected members of. The middle and upper classes. One goes to the end. Those precisely who need the law's protection mobile. And listen to their. Would you. Pray with me for a moment. Cuz i want to talk about. Spirit life is preaching time. And i've been charged. But the task i feel. So. Little. So i need your. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation. Of all about hearts. Speak. According to the center of economic and social justice. Justice is a set of universal principles which guide people in judging what is right and wrong no matter what culture and society they live in. Justice then is one of the four cardinal virtues of classic moral philosophy along with courage and self-control and an imprudence of faith hope and charity are considered. To be in there somewhere as somewhat religious virtues. Virtues are good habits. Help indivisible individuals to develop fully their human potential. Does enabling them to serve their own interest as well as work in harmony with others from their common good. The ultimate purpose of all the virtues is to elevate the dignity and sovereignty of the human person. Define social justice. Ask the virtual which guides us in creating those organized human interactions we call institution. Intern social institutions when's joshua organized provide us with access to what is good for the person both individually and in our associations with others. Social justice also imposes on each of us a personal responsibility to work with others to design and continually perfect our institutions as tools for personal and social development. Let me stress from yardstick. My message here. This morning. That i believe that there are. Great a great deal of definitions. For the term justice. And i don't want to suggest that i have the only definitive answer to what this term is. The concept art. Its implications in my mind. On not just up static. Stayed. Fashionable thing. What i want to. Do. If you would allow me to engage in some thinking. Box ideas about how as people of faith. We relate to our own sense of call. Secondly. How mike weed and the world around us being impacted by our. Both individually and collectively our actions. Both individually and collectively. And i would behaviors both individually and collectively. Because of this sense. I know where i am. Many of us. Who here. Can a great deal about you. That was an amen moment right. Y'all missed it but that was an amen woman right. You got to be q got to be on guard i'm in any moment. One of my many men mobile. We go to great lengths. The far-reaching destinations that have we set up marvelous structures and systems and organizations and institutions and societies and civilization foundations and association processes and procedures to ensure that justice is served and it is served well. Governments and nations have y'all doing good y'all doing good. Don't have to tell you much about the governments and nations have expressed and invested much to extol the virtues of such kingdoms and empires have suggested their perspective and value of justice or the model for all throughout time the hold near and dear. I believe however the james baldwin might have been correct. When he said in his peace and title. The crusade of indignation. Words like freedom. Justice. Democracy. Are not common concepts. On the contrary they are where. People are not born knowing what these are. It takes enormous and above all individual efforts to arrive at the respect. What are the people. That these words in. And certainly religious religion and religious. Institutions and organizations across time and every generation have held it through human delivery vastly different notions of their brand of justice or just us. Syphilis. Give to socrates an interesting definition of just. At the beginning of plato's republic. Justice is giving someone what it what is do. We feel we had acted justly when we treat someone as we feel they ought to be treated. We have given them what we owe them what belongs to them what is proper for them and hence is their property. Remember martin scorsese's. The godfather. I hear you going out here. Woman the movie. The undertaker comes to. Don corleone. And because the courts have not punished the young man who wronged his daughter y'all remember that. Is it the purpose that the proper procedure was followed but the results were wrong and he asked the godfather for substantive justice. It is a serious and even compelling critique of our sort of political justice. Because the questions of. Was justice done where the guilty smitten given their just due did the punishment fit the crime. If it doesn't fit you must. Go ahead johnny cochran. Where were you treated according to your dude. These are always the sort of things people would ask the law. And they will. And need answers. Yet many of us today i would venture to say gathered in community have affinity to community to gather themselves around seeking. Justice i noticed that that's your mission in this church. We spend large amounts of time talent and resources and projects that are out to promote justice. Communities rather. Secular or religious civic or social private and public proclaim what do we want. When do we want it. And yet there is injustice. Justin sbarro's in the world singley unrestrained. There are people and people's who's legacies. Build treatment. Steel. Ar. We battle wounds. There are many of us here today. That have experienced either directly or indirectly in justices at the hand of people following the directive from directors out of some scripts that render our performances in such said dramas not adequate. Leaving the church on yesterday. Right outside these doors. We came for me a quick reminder of the realities of this world in dc a black man even in my distinguished garb of a clergy couldn't easily held on a clamp. In the metaphoric words of last year's oscar-winning song of three 6 mafia it's hard out here for a pimp. I said metaphorically. Sickness and disease grip continents like africa and asia then this build-up off of the criminal injustice complex in this country the persecution and prosecution of a war for some reason that remains to me still beyond my comprehension. In this city you all are acutely aware of the meaninglessness. Political gridlock. The dams and the reps can't get it together. The math civic. Social unwillingness of peoples of all walks of life in every nation of this world. We came in hunger. Poverty. Homelessness. It blows. My. The continual granting of the fear-mongering privilege that brenda so many to hate-filled mindless behavior that her name and killed when will it stop when will it in i don't know how i don't know when my heartache. It is certain james baldwin reminds us. But in any case. Where ignorance alive with power is. There lies the most ferocious enemy justice. I believe in hope. And i believe faith offers. I believe love cast out. I believe respect and regard outlast hate. So. My friend profit. Dyson. Said. But the plane is in trouble. And i would encourage our neighborhoods are in. Our families are in. Trouble. Our sisters and brothers battling addiction are in trouble pookie and ray-ray are dying on the street soon assume that they are in trouble yet we are in trouble. On the roshes and pathology are leading us down a road to destruction. The violence that is taking place around the corner you think you may be safe just wait a minute my grandmother would say keep on living it's coming down your avenue. You can't keep running and moving from neighborhood to neighborhood soon as soon as they know you that pookie and ray-ray on their way. I'm sorry they my cousin. And you will be soon to face the reality of the pookie and the rays and the shaniqua of our time and about world that your children too. What will you do to speak to the pilot. Some of us are depending on that the first class cruiser speak first. To tell the pilot to tell the control center. We've got to stop and change directions unless the terminus will lead us all to our own death and demise. I can't said no better than dr. king. Justice anywhere is a threat injustice anywhere is a threat to justice. Everywhere. So. Let me say to you my family. My family espirit. And tim. Ours is to somehow someway busy our lives our true selves in the enterprise of connecting one with the other. Visiting our lives our true selves in the endeavor of life giving and life-sustaining relationship. Losing our lives our true selves with the development of faithful and faithful tasks coming from our convictions and our commitments of faith. Choose ye this day whom you will. Choose to say yes. Choose to say i'll go i'll do i'll say i'll give i'll make the sacrifice when it's time to make. I'm coming home now coming on. Dr. king's epistle from the birmingham jail. She says let me remind. He said i'm in birmingham. Because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eighth century bc left their villages and carried their. said the lord far beyond the boundaries of their hometowns and just as the apostle paul left his village apartments. Like paul i must. Constantly respond to the macedonian call for aid. Maurice's. I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and states i cannot sit idly by in atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in birmingham. Injustice everywhere is a threat to justice everywhere we are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a single garment of destiny whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly never again can we afford to live with the narrow provincial outside agitator idea. Everyone who lives inside the united states can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its about. So-so. Family let me speak to you. Let me say to you. We are on the plane. We're on the same plane. What is your. What is your spiritual devotion that caused you to action. What are you compelled and being compelled to do what is your response to the. What will you choose to do what it come when they come when they come for. I understand that i'm outing myself. As of. Some whatever. Existentialists. At that is to suggest that. I believe we are fully responsible for creating the meeting of our lives. And as such. It is for me. I believe. We must shoot. Puma shoes. Be courageous. At times. Bold. It all the time. Let me. With one of my favorite. Out of the night that covers me black as the pit. From pole to pole i think whatever gods may be. For my uncomfortable soul. In the fall in the fell clutch of circumstance i have not with no crying allowed under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody my but not unbowed. Hold this place of rap infused balloons from the horror of the shape and yet the menace of the years find at your find me unafraid. It matters not how strait. I've charged with punishments the scroll. I am. The master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul. Lasley. Learn the song when i was growing up in. I think it might be apropos. Today. Do something. It's going to rain. It's going to rain. Better get ready. Bear this in mind. Got to know. By the rainbow sign no more. But fire next time. Just going to rain it's going to rain. Normal water. Best buy in the next time now listen this is listen listen that's for my. I kind of just going to blow up after while. But i don't know. What you think. We don't get visit. And if we don't get to making peace waves. We don't get too busy making justice way. We don't get busy carrying a banner of love and peace and justice what will happen i think the song right is right. The sign of the rainbow. Might not be no water next this time might be. Heard you today. And get busy not from a sense of. Not from a sense of the snobbery of some of our mainline products. Tradition. Talk to me here. We can poo poo real quick. Alphacool. Fake. From a different space. I heard you today. To recommit yourself. To recommit yourself. To the right. To recommit yourself. Take two. Acknowledge. Your face. Whatever it comes where it comes how everything gets pulled from. I'm deep inside my mama said out of your belly. Shuffle flow rivers. Living. Remember.
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05.01.16SpeakingTruthToPower.mp3
Before i share this morning's reading. I just want to say another word of welcome to. Tamara lynn sewell this morning and to introduce her to you a little bit. The reverend dr. maryland sewell is senior minister of the first unitarian church in in portland oregon one of the largest unitarian churches in the country and my home church. Maryland was my minister. And what's more her ministry and her example are a big reason that i decided to go into the ministry over 10 years ago. Some of you know reverend sewell already you may remember that she preached at my ordination and installation here in 2001 but she's also had a more subtle presents. You see she's a writer and an editor of poetry anthologies and other anthologies and many of the poems that i share as readings on sunday mornings come from her first collection called cries of the spirit. As part of her ministry in portland maryland is an active writer and editor and i hope that many of you will be able to join us here in the sanctuary at 1 to hear her read from her newest book breaking free and anthology of women's writing at midlife. And so it's my great pleasure to welcome you here to all souls marilyn could they have you. And i reading this morning is in fact taken from marilyn's anthology cries of the spirit. It's by annie dillard. Who shall ascend into the hill of the lord. And who shall stand. In his holy place. There is no one. But us. There is no one to send nora clean hand nora pure heart on the face of the earth nor in the earth but only us. A generation comforting ourselves with a notion that we've come at an awkward time. That are innocent fathers. Are all dead. As if innocents had ever been. And our children busy and trouble than we ourselves unfit not yet ready having each of us chosen wrongly made a false start failed yielded to impulse. And the tangled comfort of pleasures. Grown exhausted. Unable to seek the thread. Weekend involved. But there is. No one. But us. There never has been. I just made great pleasure to be here today to be invited to your pulpit to witness for myself the renaissance of this great church already know is rob told you that. Remember the young soldier. Anorak who witness who testified who broke military protocol and confronted donald rumsfeld with a question why do our soldiers have to look for for scrap metal to protect our are humvees when we are in combat the question was a daring a powerful witness and it shook the nation and nation to citizens are too often uninformed are misinformed about the true state of the war in iraq. Out of the person that he is. That he has become 44 you see we witness not so much by what we say but by who we are the saying of the witnessing comes out of the very being of the person. The first is about a wwii hero named butch o'hare he was a fighter pilot on an aircraft carrier in the pacific one morning his entire squadron flew off on a mission but after he was airborne he looked at his field gauge and he realized. You make know or may have guessed that o'hare airport in chicago is named for him for butch o'hare. The other story took place some years earlier you may not remember the name is yeti but surely you have heard of his boss the notorious gangster al capone. Now. he had a son and he dug it on and as you might imagine he provided the sun with everything that money could buy these clothes with cars with a good education he also loved his son enough that that he knew that that he wanted to teach him right from wrong but he ran into a little trouble there he couldn't give his son what he wanted most to give him a good name and a good example and ultimately. What is the connection between these two stories. Legacy butcher hair was easy eddie son. Such a witness does not come simply from an idea or concept that might seem appealing or compelling becomes when a person has arrived at a place when when when he or she can do no other when it would be unthinkable to do anything else except what they must do no matter what the personal consequences. It felt that way for easy eddie and it fell that way for his son but your hair. We speak of living with integrity what is that name means wholeness completeness it means all of the part coming together into one needs an integrated as we mature in our living spiritually speaking we move towards greater and greater integrity. The dikotomy between the professional and the private begins to diminish and then to vanish. We are not one way at home and another on the job we do not adhere to one set of values that church and then to another in our business dealings no one's whole life becomes oriented committed to the good. The flash the mind the spirit all are turned that way to formalize that we show to the world the care the sensitivity is the same that we show in our informal life at home. The respect that we shout to the wealthy man is the same as the respect that we show to the unless of people the man whose eyes are glazed over with drink who stumbles towards you asking for a quarter you may not choose to give the quarter but you may always choose to give respect. The outer life becomes a clear clean reflection of the inner spirit that is alive of integrity. And that is a life that gives witness with every breath that is taken. With every word that is spoken this kind of witness if it's not something that one thinks through and then decide the point rather it has a kind of inevitability. You know this is who i am this is what i have to do. The life of the man that we honor today martin luther king jr had that kind of inevitability about it he was suddenly catapulted into the leadership of a bus boycott in montgomery alabama in 1955 chosen i daresay chosen by god and by his people to leave the civil rights movement when he was a very young man just before his 27th birthday. And he could not turn away there were personal consequences to his witnessing. The very next month the bomb was thrown onto the porch of the king's montgomery home it was the first but it would not be the last he was stabbed in the chest in 1958 in new york city while signing copies of his first book stride toward freedom intensified and. The fallen figure dying there on the balcony of the lorraine motel in memphis on april 4th. 1968 ford f450 speech he said like anybody i would like to live a long life longevity has its place. But i'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do god's will and he's allowed me to go up to the mountain and i've looked over and i've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you but i want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land and i'm happy tonight i'm not worried about anyting i'm not fearing any man mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord. Martin luther king junior's live was a given over life even unto death. Would he witness. I want to talk for a moment now about the role of institutions in witnessing garrison keillor once said and he said this on 1 martin luther king jr day he said rosa parks wasn't an activist she was just a woman with her groceries who was tired now. Institutions. I myself was that that cinder in the 1980s at a gathering original riders strolling about the campus i ran into an elderly gentleman somehow i knew he was plant good seed he writes in part my job is to try to provide opportunities. I think about the institution that isn't sure how much i agree with myles horton here we provide opportunities for people not to make them grow but to invite people to grow your plant good seeds and you nurture those seeds and yes sometimes you have to get rid of bugs. This church is one place where that seed is watered and watered so well and where that seed can grow. We are in a period of our national history just now when we desperately need a witnessing of the truth. I cannot begin to tell you how sick and distressed i become when people in the highest places of our government can look as in the eye and lie through their teeth for the benefit of the few.
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06.12.10AGrowingLastingLight.mp3
A reading this morning is from the poet. Lynn ungar. The poem called hanukkah. And it's addressed to. The maccabees. The freedom fighters who are the star. Of the hanukkah. Story. Hanukkah. Come down from the hills. Declare the fighting done. Be bold declare victory even when the temple is wrecked. And the tyrants have not retreated. Only coil back like a snake prepare to strike again. Come down. Try to remember. A life gentle.. By daily acts of domestic. Faith. The pot set to boil. The bed made up. The table set. Incomm expectation. That one the sunsets. We will still be here. Come down and settle. Unlearn the years of hiding. Light fires that can be seen from miles. The dancing spark and warm that. That you're frozen marrow. Declare your presence your loyalties the truths for which you do not expect to have to die. It would take a miracle. You say. To carve such a solid life. Out of the shell of fear. I say. You are the stuff. Of which such miracles are made. On the first night of hanukkah. In 1838. In a small apartments in brooklyn. A stooped aging father. Don's his yamaka. And did what his father had taught him. As his wife and son looked on. He lit the first candle. Of the menorah. We kindle these lights. He intoned in hebrew. On account of the miracles the deliverances and the wonders which you did for our ancestors. With candlelit and prayer spoken. Father mother and child gazed at the lone candle. Looking back on that moments from years later the boy recalls. That flame seemed. Almost. Pitiful. Against the malignant darkness. Outside our window. It being 1938. There hadn't been many miracles. Deliverances or wonders. Of late. To celebrate. The lingering depression left the streets of new york. Littered with the poor. And just weeks before jews across the world received news of kristallnacht. The night the nazis tore apart the ghettos burned synagogues and began shipping jews to the camps. The boy. Keim potok. Who would grow up to become a famous author remembers the days of that november and december began to go dark. Until it seemed the whole world. Would soon be shades of darkness. Dark sun and dark moon. Dark sky and dark earth dark knight and dark day. Get on each successive evening. His father lit the candles. One after another. When one last time on the 8th night he repeated the incantation we kindle these lights on account of the miracles the deliverances in the wonders. Which you did for our ancestors. Now with all eight candles. Burning bright still says potok. The darkness mocked. The light. From the look in his eye. Botox parents could see that. He just wasn't buying hanukkah that year. The candles weren't working their usual magic. His mother's side. His father asked wearily. You want another miracle. The boy didn't respond. Yes said the father you want another miracle. I also want. A miracle. But if it does not come. We will make a human miracle. We won't let the world extinguish our souls he said. The father continued as all three stared into the glowing menorah. Sometimes he said i think man is a greater miracle worker than god anyways. God doesn't have to live day after day on this broken planet. Perhaps some you will learn to make. Your own miracles. I will try to teach you. How to make. Human miracle. This is my favorite. Hanukkah. Story. One that i tell year after year. Fred always seems to contain a different message. Today as we welcome my child. Into our midst. The father's words to his son suggest to me our own responsibility to the young among us. I will teach you he says. How to make. Human miracles. That sounds to me as good a charge as any. To help our children make. Miracles. Or the very least. To notice them. But what is a human miracle. Anyway. And does the need for human miracle suggest that the age of god's miracles are over. The god has somehow. Abandoned us. Leaving us here to fend for ourselves. When you get down to it really that's the question that lies at the heart. Of all of our winter holidays hanukkah christmas. The solstice at the center of them all is this question this problem. Of our radical. Vulnerability. Independency as human beings. Winter after all was a time when our ancestors found themselves increasingly enveloped in darkness. As night swallowed more and more of the late they ask themselves has god abandoned us has our creator and sustainer left us alone to be consumed by the cold and darkness. No. Have faith resounds the chorus of all our winter celebrations have hope we are not alone. Precisely at our most vulnerable moments. We will be delivered. Precisely in our darkest hour. The light comes. Again. A growing. Lasting light. But in what manner will be will we be delivered. From our vulnerability. That's what i want to explore this morning and a hanukkah story gives us. One such answer to this question. Hanukkah of course. Is the story of a jewish minority. Living under the thumb of a capricious imperial rule. When the greek emperor of judea decided to crack down on jewish worship some jews went along but others fought back. In the maccabees let a tiny armed insurgency. That with the help of god's mighty hand achieved an improbable victory over the empire. Then they marched into jerusalem and rededicated the destroyed temple and though the temples lambs only contained one night's worth of oil. The story.
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03.02.02SolitudeAndLonliness.mp3
I'll reading this morning is from. The unitarian poet may sarton. It's from the very first entry in her best-selling book. Journal of a solitude. September 15th. Begin here. It is raining. I look out on the maple where few leaves have turned yellow and listen to punch the parrot. Talking to himself and to the rain taking gently against the window. I am here alone for the first time in weeks to take up my real life again at last. That's what's strange. That friends even passionate love are not my real life. Unless there is time alone. In which to explore into discover what is happening or what has happened. Without the interruptions nourishing and maddening this life would become arid yet. Yet i tasted fully. Only when i am alone here. And the house and i. Resume old conversations. The ambiance here is order and beauty. This is what frightens me when i am first alone again i feel inadequate. I have made an open place a place for meditation. What if i cannot find myself inside. In this journal i hope to break through into the rough rocky depths of life. To the matrix itself. There is violence there and anger never resolved. And my need to be alone. His balance against my fear. Of what will happen. When suddenly i enter. The huge. Empty. Silence. One sunday morning a few years ago. Headed to church i served before coming to all souls i stood on the front steps of the church much. As i do here. And greeted those who arrived. These front step readings are one of my favorite rituals of sunday morning by chance for me to connect if only briefly with each and every person who walks through those doors. It allows me to take the temperature if you will of the congregation to to feel where people are that morning. The morning particular morning that i'm thinking of a woman ambled up the steps of the church her eyes were cast down and a shadow hung over her face. This was a woman i'd seen sunday after sunday but who had never interacted with me much. I didn't know her very well. We usually shook hands. But that morning she came up to me. And gave me a big hug. That was a minister. I give and receive lots of hugs. It's one of the perks of the job and having having given quite a lot of them i have a sense for what the typical sunday morning ministerial hug feels like it's it's from. But gentle. And that usually lasts a moment or two. Sometimes though the hug is longer and more intense than usual. And that's when i know that there's something. Going on in a person's life. You can just tell from the hug. Cunetto's times a simple greeting becomes a moment. Of ministry. Well i'm at davis woman's hug was long and it was tight and she wouldn't let go. So i held her. And when she was done she said to me with tears in her eyes. That the greetings she received at church on sunday morning. The hogs in the handshakes from minister and congregation. We're the only human touch. She received all week long. Thank you she said. And she walked into the sanctuary and took her seat. Loneliness is a horrible. Horrible thing. And it is far more pervasive than we can imagine. Partly because when we are lonely. We always think we're the only one. But loneliness is not confined to those who live alone it plagues married and partnered people families with and without children people with lots of friends young old middle-aged. Loneliness runs the gamut. Indeed therapists confirm that it is the most frequently cited reason. That people seek professional counseling. Loneliness saps our vitality. It makes us feel scared. And insecure and vulnerable the isolation and disconnectedness that it fosters. Leave us feeling unloved or worse. Unlovable. Loneliness is an assault. On our sense of our own worth and dignity health worth and dignity that are our birthright and that we should never have to question. And being alone for any length of time inevitably brings us face-to-face. With the void. With that series of questions and fears that we don't want to entertain. Frontier. That we are unloved. The fear that we are alone. The fear of that great loneliness. Death. The suspicion that we secretly harbor but rarely odder that there may be no real rhyme or reason to our life no purpose or meaning to our being here. Loneliness can be terrifying. And so we do all we can. To avoid it. Don't we. Anything to bring us back from the brink of that abyss. Of that void. Just think of all the time we spend trying to convince ourselves that were not alone is it just me or does anyone else feel like you've met you spend the whole day. Just checking to see who has contacted you i mean checking your office voicemail checking your home voicemail checking your cell phone voicemail checking email checking to see if the letter carrier has arrived and all the while. Quietly disappointed. That we hear more from those who would sell us something or demand something of us than those who would love us. Even in this frantic and dense. Urban environment where the streets are snarled with traffic in the sidewalks and cafes crowded with people even here we are alone the bumping and jostling of bodies on the sidewalk or the supermarket aisle a meagre consolation. For the absence of authentic human touch. We run away from our loneliness busying ourselves with work and errands and shopping racing frantically fighting traffic running red lights and cutting corners until one day. Does langston hughes until one day. You hurry around the corner. And the person you bump into. Will be yourself. And then you'll know there are no more corners. Saturn. You can't run anymore. Or voicemails all our friends he can't save us. Call my loneliness. Eventually we must meet it face to face. And confront what it is. We find there. Only when this happens friends only when we stop fleeing our loneliness and instead allow ourselves to settle into it. To rest in it. Tolerate the void to ask the painful questions that need to be asked only when this happens. Can we begin to transform. Our loneliness. Into something richer. You know i grew up as an only child. And i've come to believe that. One of the gifts one of the many gifts of the only child. Is that she develops the ability. At an early age. To cope with loneliness. Only children often find themselves on their own and has a child you don't have the agency to flee that loneliness so you learn to cope. You learn to make it your friend. There was a great piece by adam gopnik in the new yorker magazine a few months ago. In it he expressed concern about his four-year-old daughter is the psychological development. You see his daughter also an only child had created an imaginary friend. That childhood playmate who shares our toys and dutifully takes our orders. But this little girls imaginary friend was different from all previous imaginary friends in one significant respect and therein lay the author's concern for his daughter you see his daughter had imagined a friend who is always. Too busy to play with her and imaginary friend too busy to play with you so for instance the little girl with would flip open her imaginary cellphone and imitating her parents clipped new york speech would bark into the phone meet me at starbucks in 25 minutes nervously the girl's parents would watch to see if this time the imaginary friend would make good on the playdate. My point is that children are resilient. In their ability to cope with being alone. They make of their loneliness a companion and though our adult loneliness. Is different from a child's. I think we have to learn to do the same. Defined in our loneliness. A companion. Vinopolis and packer who has explored loneliness in her writing says. Lonely is a funny thing. It's almost like another person. After a while. It'll keep you company if you let it. If we spend enough time with our loneliness. We will discover. That the silent companion of whom packers speaks is of course. Ourselves. The part of ourselves that lies beneath the busyness of our daily lives. The part of ourselves that resides beyond the fear of loneliness and meaninglessness. That place beneath and beyond. Is a place called solitude. And it is different from loneliness. A little bit further along in her journal from which i read this morning may sarton would write the memorable phrase that loneliness is the poverty. Of the self. And solitude is the richness. Of the self. And the self is both poor and rich. Poor because we were created as interdependent beans made for love. And so alone we are incomplete. Insufficient. Vulnerable. But the self is rich too because within us lies the soul and within the soul a spark of the divine. A piece of the holy. A limitless world. Waiting to be discovered. The difference between loneliness and solitude in our inner lives is. Very similar to me between the difference. How we speak about our physical bodies as naked or nude. Naked describes the human body stripped and vulnerable. Naked refers to what the body lacks. Clothing covering. Nude on the other hand. Refers to the bear body as a thing of beauty. A work of art. Sculpture. Similarly loneliness it describes all that is lost when we are alone and solitude. All that is gained. And i reading this morning sartin call the time that she spent alone with only herself and her thoughts. Her real life. Because for her all the socializing and loving that she did in the world wasn't real unless there was an opportunity to stand back in silence and reflect on it. To discover who she was and what she cared about him what she believed. So that she could then bring that fuller. Richer self. Back into relationship. With the world. Solitude can lead to a rich communion with the soul. Conversation. Really. Beyond our fear and our loneliness there is a calm. Companionship. Apiece. And we are at home in our thoughts. Our feelings. And our bodies. And we are not afraid. Anymore. In solitude we do as certain thoughts to do in her journal to break through to the rough rocky depths of life to the matrix itself. And this is a religious task the conversations that are that we have with our souls in this solitude is the fountainhead of the spiritual life from which all else close. The great religious philosopher alfred north whitehead says. Religion is what the individual does. With his own solitariness. And in fact the spiritual journey requires that we do two things. With respect. To that solitariness. It requires that we cultivate. A solitude. They will allow us to discover. The richness of ourselves. And it requires that we create. Community. So that we might alleviate. The poverty. A self. And so friends my prayer. For this church. Is that we might build a community. With a loneliness in each of us. Reaches out to the loneliness. Of the other. So that we might offer one another communion. Can further a community where the solitude in each of us. Reaches out to the solitude. Of the other. So that we might offer one another. A glimpse. Of the holy. May that be our prayer this day. I'm in.
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07.03.11GrowingASoul.mp3
The reading this morning is taken from a sermon delivered from this very pulpit. By reverend doctor a powell davies whose name you hear frequently but whose words you probably don't hear often enough. Dr. davies was minister of this congregation from 1942 to 1957. And left a lasting impact i feel much in his debt and like it is on his shoulders as well as many other predecessors that i stand before you. He delivered a sermon from this pulpit on september 10th. 1944. Entitled on going to church. And his reasons for attendance at church. Are the heart of why we seek. I believe a spiritual life. And why we wish so often and so fervently. To continue on the path of spiritual development and growth. Once we're on our way. Dr. davies said. Let me tell you. Why i come to church. I come to church. And would whether i was a preacher or not. Because i fall below my own standards and need to be constantly brought back to them. I'm afraid of becoming selfish and indulgent and my church. Brings me back to what i want to be. I could easily despair. Doubt and dismay could overwhelm me. My church renews my courage and my hope. It is not enough that i should think about the world and its problems at the level of a newspaper report. Or a magazine discussion. He could too soon become too low a level. I must feel again the love that i owe to others. I must not only hear about it but feel it. In church. I do. And this alone would make me seek a church. It may seem as though the same things could be found in solitude. But it does not easily happen so. And life must have its sacred moments and its holy places. We need the infinite. The limitless. The uttermost. All that can give the heart a deep and strengthening peace. We need the touch of beauty. Bringing back to life its luster and its loveliness. We need. The unalterable communion of our spirits with the spirit of the highest. All that joins the soul and what it yearns for. All that can raise the frailty of our incomplete humanity. Toward the level of the spirits aspiration. That our earthly dust. Maymead. And mingle. With the majesty. And mystery. Beautiful stuff. Friends in our church mission statement. We say that we are a spirit growing community. In fact we have three entire programs devoted to helping members of our congregation. Grow spiritually. We have religious education for our children. We have adult spiritual development programs and classes for the adult members of our community. And we have our covenant group ministry. Specifically designed to get groups of you together. To talk about your spiritual lives and your growing and learning and yearning together. We have all of this in place because we see it as central to our identity. A key component of what a church exists to do. What is a church if it is not growing the soulfulness and spiritual lives of those who are members. And yet in spite of all of that. We don't have much in the way of a shared understanding of what it means to grow or develop spiritually. How do any of us know. When we have grown. We don't have charts like we do for our children of when they grow into we don't have a chart like that for our souls. So how do we know when we've grown spiritually. And is it similar or different to. Other kinds of maturation in our lives. And what are the practices and rituals. That might help us in our endeavor to grow. More consistently and constantly throughout our lifetime. It's a critical part of our theology as we acknowledged when we dedicated hannah this morning. That we are each born with a soul. A soul that houses our capacity for living and ethical and moral and meaningful ways. And at its best and in our aspirations are you you faith or unitarian universalist babe. Is about cultivating our ability to live from that place. In fact our universalist forebears john murray foremost among them believe that religions purpose. Was to uncover that divine spark that divine light that gets so clogged and covered over by the the routines of our lives. So that we might live all the time. From that soulful and spiritual place that everything we do would be imbued. With meaning. And purpose. And light and life. We longed to have all of our actions flow from what we hold most dear. From our most core and deeply-held values. And that is why that doctor davies davies described in the reading. We need one another. To hold us accountable we need a community of faith to encourage us along that path. But also to remind us. The lives of integrity and dab. Are not cultivated just so that we can feel good about ourselves. But so that we can be people in the world. Who make a difference. So that we can be that one more redeemer. That's sofia foz. Spoke of. While it might be possible on our own. To grow some spiritually to go on spiritual retreats to look within to read books. When it comes down to it the spiritual journey is one that is shared. It's a journey about connecting these inward truths that we discover when we are on our spiritual path. With those who are around us. But our spiritual life. Is a life lived in relationship. So once we have uncovered this soulful way. How do we grow. How do we resist complacency how do we not say well i did my one spiritual retreat for the year so now i'm done. I think we sometimes get complacent because we think of our spiritual lives like any other kind of growing that we do. We figure we human beings are always growing and changing that it's just part of being alive. And therefore. There isn't much intention that we need to give to it. Not much attention that needs to be paid to our spirit and our souls. And yet i think the more that we tend to ignore our spirits and souls the more things that we may have learned ways that we may have grown more compassionate can atrophy. And we give up i think because we figure. We're never going to give our lives holy over to the spirit. At least very few of you have confided that you're thinking of. Joining a monastery or turning your lives completely over to a spiritual path. So how is it that we. Lay folk if you will. Can continue to check in with our spirits and live from a more soulful place. I want invite you this morning to think of your spiritual life. In a way that we and by this i mean my colleague and myself and those of us on program staff have have had conversations about and we had. Conversation with the board about this a while ago. Once you do for a moment envision your spiritual life. As for concentric circles. Four circles that inhabit an influence one another. To think of that as sort of a diagram of your soul. That innermost circle. Is your own personal spiritual life. So that if someone were to ask you right now. How is it with your soul. It is in that very innermost circle that you would look. You would look to your own personal meditative practices your prayer practices. He would say have i been touching base with that wellspring of spirit. Which some of you may call god. Regularly. How am i. I am i in touch with. Who i am. The next circle in that concentric circle of spiritual life is your relational spiritual self. What i think of is sort of our covenant group ministry spiritual selves. And the questions that go with that circle are do you have confidence. Whom you speak to regularly about your spiritual well-being. And by that i mean not people who ask you you know how is that that needed to little achy or how's this. But people who asked you. How is it with your spirit. Have you communed with the holy lately. How is your spiritual well-being. Are you part of a covenant group or a class or some other form of spiritual mentoring. In which others help you to reflect on your soul. Personal. Relational. And the next level the next circle is what i'm. Bb corporate spiritual self and by that i'd have nothing to do with business or microsoft or anything like that. Gabrielle's always getting on me for corporate language so it's good that she's not here to hear this definition but. Buy corporate spiritual self i mean the spiritual dimension which can only be accessed in the company of many others. It's the reason that people go on spiritual pilgrimages. The hajj in mecca. Those who go to lourdes those who go to india to experience the sacred in the holy with many other seekers of that which is. Most at the heart of life. It's the way in which. Singing spirit of life. Is enriched when 500 other people do it with you. But you can't get when you sing it in the shower by yourself. It's that impulse to share the spirit. Which is what we do and worship every single week. It's what is so eloquently described in one of my favorite passages about the spiritual life. I'm in the color purple. When suge and seeley are discussing god. Celie says to shug some things and then should respond she say sealy tell the truth. Have you ever found god in church. I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Any god i ever felt in church i brought in with me. And i think all the other folks did to. They come to church. To share god. Not defined. We come together friend each week in order to share the holy. And if you don't bring your fragment of the divine in with you than my image is not whole and complete. So there's something about that circle. That circle of our spiritual lives which. Makes it so clear that we are integral to one another spiritual lives. That you are vision and my vision of the holy are illuminated. And multiplied. Buy yours and yours. The final circle in this concentric circle diagram has to do with social justice. How do you live what you have found when you have gone inward out in the world. How old is your faith. How do your beliefs how does your understanding of god call you to act. In making the world a more equitable and hospitable home. For all people. It is very difficult. We realized when we made this model of four circles. To be highly functioning in all realms at all times in fact if you do that let me know i'm going to sign you up for enlightenment. But this model can help you to notice. When you are focused only in one area. Have you been focused only on your personal spiritual development. And not on the relational. Or only on the relational and not on the social justice. Or only coming to church on sundays but not doing much of your own personal spiritual practice. It can help you to think about how to spread your spiritual practice through all of those realms. Perhaps even help you to notice when your life is telling you that you need. To go further inward or further outward. In your spiritual living. It can help you to think at this moment in my life. What is most called for from me. I just returned from a meeting in boston i've been working with a group from our unitarian universalist association. On re-envisioning and reimagining youth ministry. I'm not quite sure why i'm the expert on youth ministry but we can talk about that another time. But we have a wonderful facilitator a man by the name of ut saunders who's been leading our conversations. And ut is a bit of a philosopher as well as an organizational development guru. And he has talked to us about the wheel of life. That we are all on. And i was thinking about his wheel in relationship to these concentric circles of our spiritual living. In his model of the wheel of life. He talks to us about how if we are fortunate. In our living. We get to go around this wheel 3 times. The first time around from 0 to 28. We are in our adolescent phase. Your adolescent up until you're 28 years old that's kind of interesting but you're in your adolescent phase up until 28 trying to figure out who you are and what you are meant to do with your life. The second time around the wheel from ages 28 to 56. He says the key thing is individuality. Once you know who you are more or less. You're focused and on living out your individual authentic. True real unique god-given self in the world. And finally he says if we are graced with longevity. The third time around that wheel. From 56 to 84. We achieve some measure of wisdom. We are spending our days applying the lessons and understandings from earlier in life. And trying to find ourselves more and more in alignment. Aligning who we know ourselves to be with how we are living in the world. So what is spiritual growth. It seems to me that it has something to do with that alignment. That wisdom. I think that spiritual growth is that which leads us to greater continents. Between our core values and beliefs. And how we live our lives. What does spiritual growth look like. It looks like your sense of compassion. Your sense of the inherent worth and dignity of every person leading you beyond words to embodying it. And how you treat everyone you encounter. No matter what your mood is in that moment. It's found in the way that you forgive yourself. For past mistakes. That you found so hard to let go of. It's found in the way you forgive others. And let go of that grudge or chip on your shoulder that you've been. Nourishing. And carrying for so long. It's found in the openness. That you discover and uncover. When you decide to see something or someone with new eyes. Does not stay trapped. In your single way of seeing things. Spiritual growth looks like movement. It looks like change. It looks like movement toward hope and love and spirit in all that you do. And so friends my prayer for each of us. And for all souls. Is that we might move along as we move along that we love life. We will offer one another courage and hope. To continue to seek. Even when times are hard and when the way is not clear. And that when life is calm. We will remind one another that there remains an undercurrent. An undercurrent of spirit. Which beckons to us always. To greater depths. And greater living. In the world. May we heat it's message. Now. And always.
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03.08.31LaborOfLove.mp3
This morning's reading is by brian ren it is entitled love makes a bridge. Love makes a bridge from heart to heart and hand-to-hand. Love finds a way when laws are blind and freedom band. Love breaks the walls of language gender class and age. Love skinny love gives us wings to slip the bars of every cage. Love lifts the hopes that force and fear have beaten down. Love breaks the chains and gives us strength to stand our ground. Love rings the bells of wanted birth and wedding day. Love guides the hands that promise more than words can say. Love makes a bridge that wyant winds may shake yet not destroy. Love carries faith through life and death and endless joy. Happy labor day weekend some people are squeezing one more day of summer in by sleeping and others are frantically shopping for those school supplies to help kids don't be happy to go to school next week other parents might be exhausted trying to get their children into a rhythm because school has already started. I see mixed emotions come over my sister antoinette every year during labor day weekend i see a feeling of relief that my nephew's will be doing something constructive with her days without her having to plan it and a sense of sadness that marks another year of them getting older and gaining their independence so i'm glad everyone is here this morning. I did a little research on research on the web and found out that historically this sunday you use ministers preaching about the american worker about unions the underpaid and generally about how we as americans work too much. They are all good you use social justice things but today i'd like to take us in a little different direction i would like to spend some time this morning talking about labor of love. That phrase is used all the time to describe someone's something some work done for no pay because we feel that passionately about it and labor of love for example. All souls church member molly freeman was quoted in the washington post 11 years ago when talking about reverend don robinson it's a labor of love on his part she said. During that time reverend john robinson was building up beacon beaconhouse from scratch. Reverend john believe that you you ministry was necessary in northeast washington and now most of our uu churches supported support his plan work last time i was up here. Some members came to me after the service and shared with me their passions and they all sounded wonderful. We seem to be willing to put endless amount of energy and resources into the things we love. But what about the things we don't love to do i don't love writing or delivering sermons but i know i have to do it to be a good minister learning to put my thoughts down on paper and delivering them helps you know what's in my heart. I heard a rumor gandhi grandson of the famous nonviolent civil rights leader speak this year the room said his grandfather taught him that all relationships. Need for thanks. Appreciation understanding acceptance. And. But i'm sorry respect understanding acceptance and appreciation. To me these things don't really come easy it takes work. Love takes work at times it takes its work to love my family and i've heard from my family how it takes work for them to love me back my friends that have been in the last relationship tell me they have to work hard at it keep it healthy even being in this congregation we have to work at loving one another. We can all use these tools of respect understanding acceptance and appreciation at church at home and at work and i believe even nations can learn a little lesson or two. Education minister helena chapin at the first unitarian church of rochester called a spiritual practice. Any activity or attitude in which you can regularly and intentionally engaged. And which significantly deepens the quality of your relationship with the miracle of life both within and beyond you i believe gandhi's model qualifies so i'm going to try this at model as a spiritual practice this year in my life. And what might respect understanding. Depreciation look like the hardest time in my life understanding i remember when i first came back from britain and i started to live with my family again in miami my mother said i should respect her because she was my mother as a quick mouth teenager. What the heck does differential mean so i flip the pages backwards and looked up the definition differential it said marked by deference almost there looking up the page and little further for deference i found quotes courteous respect for or submission to another's opinions wishes or judgment that didn't help me at all. That's freedom to think for ourselves is something both our unitarian and universalist for bear has fought hard for and in some cases died for. It was much more helpful for me to go back to the latin and then translate that way re means back and the verb the car a means to look. Looking back and if i don't throw the baby out with the bathwater maybe there is something to this raise submission to another opinion wishes or judgement. That incident happened over 23 years ago with my mother my mother doesn't remember it and it's interesting that i do my mother remembers other times that i want to forget but that's another story for sermon my mother and i have a great relationship and i think if you asked her today she's say i respect her. For me i had to refrain the whole thing and look at the behavior in terms of value. Do i value my mother yes. Do i listen to her opinions and wishes and judgments yes. Do i value those opinions wishes or judgments i have to say yes. Another part of respect for me is self censure. It's not that others demand that i do something but rava i choose to act in a way that causes minimum harm because i love them so i ask myself do i treat my mother as i would like to be treated yes. Do i send share my behavior around her because i know she may not like it yes so looking back in respect to me is looking back at myself and reflecting on how i show my love. It takes work to allow others people's desires come before our own it takes a labor of love. In a congregation this must respect various forms like paying attention while someone else is speaking or taking those extra pieces to sit a little further back from the front so that those who have a heart attack i'm might sit closer. Or how about taking up a fraction of a time in the meeting so all can speak or providing childcare when the whole congregation is needed to participate. Now my mother and i don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of issues. A friend of mine said quite simply respect is not having to get your way all the time. Francis david a famous unitarian back-in-the-day said quote you don't have to think alike to love alike and quote my mother and i argue frequently but we have unwritten rules that we now both abide by about how we express those differences. At first they were expressly articulated but now we've been doing it for so long they can go instead churches are like that to some churches have written rules on how we will be with one another but other churches like this one seems to have unwritten rules unwritten rules can be especially if everyone doesn't know what those rules are. Which leads to the second part of a good relationship understanding when all parties do not know what the rules are there is a lack of understanding there could also be a lack of understanding when people don't talk to one another or check their assumptions. Communication is the key here for example i can't go around upset with you because you offended me in some kind of way if i never told you you hurt me. To have a good relationship it takes risking being honest to get to that level of understanding. A labor of love if you will. Way before covenant groups. Does church group people by last name in the herring clusters excuse me. I was in circulate group but before any activity got underway circulated came together to articulate how we would be with one another. We created a behavioral covenant. So that we could have a common level of understanding. These guidelines helped me to navigate the uncharted new found friendships. Now we have covenant groups and small-group ministries here and i know they'd go through that similar process. But i wonder what that might look like if we did this process as a whole community. There is a you you model that a lot of churches are now using the comes from our youth groups. It's called five steps to community building and some congregations are now using this for adults step one is bonding remembers begin to identify the part of a team by cooperating on the top. Step2 is opening up at the at this stage as the group listens to more members trust each other and share more of themselves. Step three is affirming where members leave with a warm fuzzy feeling. Instep for is stretching members go beyond themselves and actively care for one another and the final step is deeper sharing it is not until there is a level of comfort and safety can this deeper level occur but i want to get back to respect understanding acceptance and appreciation. The third aspect of a good relationship is acceptance. This one is another tricky one it's like balancing the balancing act we do in our church around the first and seventh principle the inherent worth and dignity of every person and their respect for the interdict dependent web or do you me and we in an intimate relationship. For the spock on star trek the needs of the one outweighs the needs of the many the struggle between individuality and community acceptance insurance. Tolerance. Is putting up with something when we don't like it. Acceptance. Is like surrender and not having to struggle within about liking or not liking something. My parents are christian and i am a humanist even as a child my sister daughter and i would ask my parents house could love a god that did all those horrible things to people in the bible my parents would try to explain all the wonderful and beautiful good things that god did too but we could not make sense of it i am now older and i have learned in life there a lot of things that don't make sense. But i don't need to have the answers that i want stitt. I've grown to accept. My parents faith in god. Their faith in god has brought them through many a hard time in their eyes no human could pull them through. My humanism liens in a little different direction. I believe we humans have the ability and the responsibility to lead lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity without a reliance on an external influence. This humanism is difficult for my parents. But i know and hope just like my homosexuality they will eventually accept my position but it's a labor of love for them the last one is my favorite appreciation i think of appreciation as an expression of gratitude that i am able to share both the joys and concerns with my loved ones. When i was fighting with my girlfriend did i call but my mother i was very appreciative that she is still alive and could give give me good advice there are other days when it's my best friend billings that comes to my rescue i hope we all have friends like that that we can call on in desperate times. A couple of weeks ago when i called my mother she called me down in her own way here i am yelling for rufina my mother heard they had been filled with dealing with her physical pain but she perked right up happy to help in this situation it's a labor of love but she gets me looking at things in different ways appreciation means knowing when others have gone out of their way for you and acknowledging that. That day my mother went out of her way for me and i thanked her for it. Now it's my turn to return the blessing i'm going home this year so i can see them i haven't been home in about two-and-a-half years i'm traveling because it gives me great joy to see my parents again and not out of obligation. A friend of mine years ago asked me to throw her a party for her birthday with my friends at my house who turned it into a december fling and she was thrilled to blow out the candles with others celebrating her birthday. To see my friend happy made me happy. His holiness the dalai lama says quotes. The more we work for happiness of others. The more our own happiness increases. That is an obvious fact. The more selfish we act. The more loneliness and suffering increases. That is an obvious fact. I see it as a labor of love. His holiness goes on to say whether one believes in religion or not there is an anyone who does not appreciate kindness and compassion. Uncorked. As a beloved community i've witnessed all souls church exhibit kindness and compassion and members appreciating those acts. On 911 members came here to greet and when war broke out we can sold one another. Repairing cluster works diligently to help out individuals in times of need. But i believe we all need to be stewart's in this area of compassion and kindness. We all need to be able to lend a hand when one of us needs help. Like a family. I'm lighter side. Meredith higgins hargrave celebrated her 60th birthday this year and we sang happy birthday to 10 year old anna russell as a congregation. Who here is celebrating a zero birthday. Richland washington. But who here has been in a relationship for decades or cancer-free or celebrating something special this year. I have paid for lunch for us today so that we can have a little birthday and anniversary cake it's just a small way i can show my appreciation to. I also want to take this opportunity to thank kate bordner and her friends from coming down from york. Kate has been very supportive of me because she is my field advisor for my ministerial formation. Respect understanding acceptance. And appreciation. Four aspects of a good relationship. As we go into another year with one another. Let us fall individually practice these aspects. For better community. And look on it as a labor of love. So maybe.
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06.04.02ParadoxAndFaith.mp3
I just want to add my welcome to all of you this morning i'm just so. There's one sunday. Every spring. When the cherry blossoms are out on those two trees out front and it's my one of my favorite sunday's of the year at all souls church i'm glad that we can all. Sarah. Here together. A man walks. The beach. Along the north california coast. On one side of him are the cliffs leading up to the old fishing village of mendocino. On the other side of the pacific ocean. As he strolls the man looks west and watches the sunset spreading a swath of pink. Across the sky. Galls sore and dive. Analyte. Evening breeze. He listens to the steady rhythm of the tide pull gently by the moon that is now just visible in the darkening sky. The boats are in for the day. The ocean. Is calm. And the man is. Possessed by a sense of peace. And beauty. A sense that all is right. In the world. If you've ever watched the sunset over the pacific ocean. You'll know that feeling too. As the man walks along the shore his reverie is interrupted by a sign. That is posted up on the rocks ahead the sign says. Never turn your back on the ocean. And upon reading at the man feels a a chill down his spine for he's reminded. That at any time the now placid ocean. Could surgeon drawer and dash him against. The rocky cliff. It's undertow dragging him out to see. Never turn your back on the ocean. The sign wouldn't be there he realizes if. Other unsuspecting wanderers. Hadn't already succumbed. Will you know how sunset strolls. Get you to pondering. This man begins to ponder. His situation begins to wonder. How the ocean. How it is that the ocean can be at the same time. Both beautiful and terrible. I miss pondering leads him to another thought a realization of sorts. That she too. Is capable of both. Beauty. And destruction. And he wonders again how both of these things. Can be true at the same time. And then it says if. Avail is lifted from his eyes. Reviewing the many contradictions. The many paradoxes. That pattern his life contradictions he's lived with for years but only now fully appreciated contradictions that can make a walk along the california coast. Not to mention life. And a wolverine yet. Risky. Proposition. Friends i want to talk about contradiction. And paradox this morning. I believe the contradiction. And paradox are fundamental to the structure. Of our existence. We can literally say that in the beginning. In the beginning was a paradox. For when we are born. We are born to live yet we are faded. Todai. And from that paradox flows. Others. I know that within me i possess a spark of the divine. And i know that. I willfully route. Disregard. The conscience that calls within me. I know that i'm a generous person and i know that i am selfish. I believe in justice and accountability and i believe in mercy and compassion. I want so much to love. And to be loved. And i want to be protected from the pain. Of love. Because those whom i love bring me the most joy and caused me the most pain. These are the contradictions. That structure our lives. What are the contradictions. And the paradoxes. The pattern your own line. To live in the midst. A contradiction is to experience the pole. Of opposing forces. The tug of competing demands and values. When we feel those forces pulling on our hearts and souls we say and we say this all the time we say i field corn. And the the phrase has become so commonplace that we no longer realize the pain. The fat phrase reveals our souls are torn by the contradictions. Our hearts are broken. By the contradictions. And as a result our lives take on a certain uncertain quality. Life seems more ambiguous as we're caught in these contradictions. There seem to be fewer and fewer unqualified. Good. In the world. And the uncertainty and ambiguity can make us feel one of the things that we human beings hate the. Hate to feel the most. Which is. Anxiety. The kind of anxiety that keeps us up at night. The kind that drives us to distraction the kind that paralyzes us. With fear. Friends i believe that how we cope. With the uncertainty and the ambiguity and anxiety caused by all the contradictions and paradoxes of modern life is perhaps the defining. Spiritual challenge. Of our lives. How do we take in. All the complexity all the competing demands and still find a way to love. And to live with purpose and beauty. And just. That's the question. No it's really. The zen buddhist that get this idea of paradox. And i thought maybe a story from the zen tradition might be illuminating here. What story is about a monk. Who goes to a renowned zen master and ask master. Share with me your greatest teaching. Zen master replies son. The greatest teaching is this. Buddha.
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06.09.03WhoIsAmericaAnyway.mp3
The reading this morning comes from the reverend jesse jackson. And at speeds that i think could be given at this moment. But was given in 1992 at the democratic national convention. We stand as witness to a pregnant moment in history. Across the globe we feel the pain that comes with new birth. Here in our country pain abound. We must be certain that it to leads to new birth. And not a tragic miscarriage of opportunity. We must turn pain the power. Pain. Into partnership. Not pain into polarisation. The great temptation in these difficult days of racial polarisation. An economic injustice. Is to make political arguments black and white. And miss the moral imperative. A wrong and right. Vanity ass. Is it popular. Politics ass. Will it win. Morality and conscience ask. Is it right. We are part of a continuing struggle for justice and democracy links and a chain that began long before we were born. It will extend long after we are gone. History will remember us not for our positioning. But for our principles. Not by our move to the political center left or right. But rather by our grasp on the moral and ethical center. Of wrong and right. We who stand with working people and poor have a special burden. We must stand for what is right. Stand up to those who have the mic. We do so grounded in the face that that which is morally wrong. Will never be politically right. But if it is morally sound. It will eventually be. Politically right. This weekend we join many other congregations of different face in labor day reflection on work immigrant rights and justice. Also this is part of a group called interfaith worker justice that is national and has a local chapter. And you will see a bulletin insert with three faces. Three actual faces of low-wage labor in washington dc. There is kevin. An african-american security guard. Jeunesse and african immigrant parking attendant. A drone. A latino immigrant day labor from the workers union which is right down the hill at 15th and p. These real people are not in some distant locale. But here in our city. Present when you park your car or go into an office building or shop and eat on p street. You may not notice them specifically. And that is part of the problem that those who stay in poverty are easy to pass by. When you do look. The observation that is offered by interfaith worker justice is this. Low-wage work. Is about class. An educational privilege. Not merely immigrant vs. citizen. African-american vs. latino vs. asian. Undocumented versus legal rural white vs urban. These distinctions which are made for political gain. Divide and distract us. From essential truth. Which is that all low-wage workers suffer in similar ways. Lacking healthcare job security. Educational training access legal resources. Equitable pay. In this congregation. We say that when our neighbor is unjustly treated. It affects us as well. Their plight deserves our attention. And the humane an equitable action of our government. Poor people suffer in this country. And on this labor day we will pause to consider some of the circumstances than publications. This is not a policy speech. Or a political platform there are many of those out there. The issues are too complex for one sermon anyway. But i will use some numbers. An illustrated. The nature of low-wage issue the breadth of poverty that is affecting our nation. And our neighbors. Instead this is a sermon for reflection about who we are. As people. And what is required of us. As ones who say. We respect. The inherent dignity and worth of every person. Is also a question about who we are as a nation. And what our policies say about our values. Who is america anyway. Meaning. Who is here. And how do we respond. Now keep in mind that in metropolitan washington one in five people are immigrants. We are one of eight metro areas around the country that have more than a million immigrants. Immigrants are 29% of montgomery county maryland. The majority there is latino and asian. They are 17% of prince george's county. Majority african and caribbean. They're 27% of fairfax county over in virginia majority asian. In washington dc 20% of the population. Is immigrants. A many different varieties. Primarily 40% latino. 36% asian. So in our washington metro area as a whole. 4 and 10 immigrants hold at least a college degree before and 10 also say they don't speak english well. In d.c.. We are truly a global population. And when we think. Immigrant worker. It could actually mean of whole menu of things. When we say low-wage immigrant. Then we do know that language or documentation education are key barriers to advancement. And this is clear up some common stereotype. The words immigrant. And hispanic and latino. Are not synonymous. The majority of hispanics in the u.s.a. full 60%. We're born here. And of the remaining forty the majority. Are legal. The pew hispanic center shows that by the third-generation 100% of latinos. Speak english as their first and sometimes the only language similar to most every other immigrant group overtime. Illegal immigrant. Is also not synonymous with hispanic. Many illegal immigrants are college students. Are workers who overstay their visas. There are for example thousands of illegal irish living in boston. Up to 100,000 nigerians in houston. Many of them illegal. When we think about our immigrant neighbors especially in washington maryland virginia then we really need to expand our categories beyond this shorthand it's used in the media and popular discourse. We know what happens when stereotypes abound. Real people get left out. Our own understanding and compassion to menaces we take the easy route. In public policy debate. I went tv show i said recently. Work to dispel this facile stereotyping of folks that are in a position on immigration issues and you see the opposition in the news every time they cover it. 30 days is a program on the fx network that puts various people in tricky situations and see how they stand it by the end of the month. On this show. They followed a cuban immigrant. Who's now a citizen and who is a minuteman vigilante on the arizona border. He was asked to live with a mexican illegal family for 30 days.
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