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i broke up with bf a month ago. we've broken up a few times before over what i believe were lies about his finances. he has very little assets and is finding a new job after losing a job a month ago. either way he won't be making much. i have saved a fair amount from working all my life and have a nice home. he kept on reaching out to me to reconcile and tells me he wants to marry as soon as he gets a job. i still care for him but scared to death i'll need to support him and i already have 2 kids i'm supporting (i'm a widow). he thinks i should be telling my family we are back together even though we really aren't other than his insistence for me to meet him for coffee 1 or 2 times per week. he wants to know my whereabouts all the time and thinks i should wait for him to become employed again. should i run in the other direction? if i don't will i regret it? | [59/f] behind confused about my ex boyfriend [64/m] and how to be free of him | 6iqcxb | lies about finances are a bad sign. you have to decide if you love him enough to carry the financial load the rest of your life. at our age, anything can happen, and usually does......so he could get a great job but get sick. or you could. you never know. that's why i would base it on the quality of the relationship and his overall decency and integrity as a human being. | relationship_advice | 6iqcxb |
so, i noticed a lump just below/inside of my belly button yesterday. i'm overweight if that has any relevance. the lump is only on the left side, and it hurts when i push down on that area. if i push down on the right-hand side i feel nothing (as in it feels normal). i normally would just book an appointment to see a doctor, but as i've just moved to hong kong i thought i'd get a first opinion here before shelling out loads on a consultation | -21 -m -180cm -92kg -british/indian -only just noticed -just below the navel (kind of inside the bottom of the belly button) -none known - hernia when younger -none -not visible | 6ptuuj | does it get bigger if you cough or laugh? (i'm thinking [umbilical hernia](WEBLINK)). | askdocs | 6ptuuj |
so after a long time of having a complicated relationship with a guy, we finally got together. we're best friends and tell eachother basically everything, and i had been wanting to go out with him for a while now. but after we made it official, i just feel kind of weird. instead of getting the butterflies or being super happy, i just feel nothing. is that bad? also, after he initially asked me out (over text), he stopped making jokes and stuff like he usually does. is he just nervous? | new relationship | 6yq667 | probably. just keep talking to each other about your feelings. | relationship_advice | 6yq667 |
i have bipolar, anxiety, and a smattering of other illnesses, but bipolar and anxiety are the ones i have the most trouble with. i think outpatient would be beneficial to getting me back on the right track (plus group therapy is a good idea because right now i just stay inside by myself all day) but i have no idea how to even go about becoming a part of a program. i have insurance, live in missouri, and need help. any advice/educational posts are appreciated. | how does outpatient even work? | 4bicuf | first look into your insurance. call the number on the back of your card, or go online to see what your insurance covers. find a place you like the best, and give them a call. tell them what's going on, and that you'd like to start some services. they will schedule an intake with you, where you get to meet a therapist and figure out what's going on, and what kind of help would be best. if you don't have insurance, this is what you do. 1. get insurance. 2. see above steps. if you really don't feel like getting insurance, find some therapeutic services close to you and call them. ask them if they take out-of-pocket clients, and set up an intake with them. outpatient services mean you will go and see a therapist. inpatient services mean you will go and stay somewhere for a while and see a therapist. in-home services means a therapist comes to your home and works with you. meds help a lot of people. look into that if you want. group is group. you know what group is. there are tons of different types of therapy. finding the ones you like best is key. good luck! | mentalhealth | 4bicuf |
made a throw away account for this. the start of our relationship was amazing, although neither of us had jobs we did everything together, and would talk about travelling and where we would like to go when we got the money. the sexy times were plentiful too. but as we both got jobs we could only see each other at the weekends, which at first, was fine. gradually the sexy times declined too, but that's probably me. my sexy time drive has definitely plummeted, whether it's down to stress, tiredness or i'm just not interested, and it seems to be a popular topic of discussion, which is something i'm uncomfortable talking about openly. a lot of our time together involves just eating dinner and me listening to what he did at work, or him talking to me like i'm a 'lad' which is fine at first, but can get awfully repetitive. its the same thing every week. we haven't gone out to see our friends, ever. and its always a struggle to get him to agree to come out somewhere with me, whether it's to the cinema, dinner, a bbq, a day outing, weekend away or even to just sit and binge watch netflix. i have tried voicing my feelings, saying how it makes me feel crap and held back when he doesn't want to go places with me. how it makes me feel a bit on the spot when he's invited to mine and declines, i've then gotta sit through questioning as to why he's not with me. he's not one for buying birthday gifts, which i have accepted now. but each and every time i try to openly discuss how it makes me feel, it's spun around and its suddenly about him. and he talks and talks and talks, while i listen. its a lot of excuses as to why he doesn't want to go on holidays with my family and i, why he doesn't go out etc. he happens to have severe anxiety caused by a rocky upbringing, i've tried my best to be there for him, but i never know when he's in a rough patch. its like walking on egg shells sometimes. i don't want to be a dick, but i'm tired of hearing excuses, and i'm feeling less and less loved. its been 6 years, and we have never travelled together or been on holiday together. i fear that we're lacking common ground. it breaks my heart. i love and care for him very deeply, he's become a part of my life. but i don't know if i can keep waiting. tldr; been with bf 6 years, never gone anywhere together, beginning to feel like we have less in common and i'm worried that i've become disinterested in him. | been with my bf(23) for 6 years now, and although i love him, i'm scared that i'm becoming disinterested in him. | 6xskp0 | very hard to sustain a teen rel. forever | relationship_advice | 6xskp0 |
cool, im still just miserable as i was before | "there are people who care about you" | 8u3rc5 | this is why i tell my clients that “the power of positive thinking” isn’t an effective intervention for depression. | depression | 8u3rc5 |
hello. most of my life has been dictated by my bpd and i've been fighting like crazy the past few years to get my life back. piece by piece it's coming together, no more panic attacks... what's proving to be my biggest hurdle is my impulsive behavior. i feel powerless. god forbid i try to have a drink. all it takes is a few drinks and i'm having sex with some random person. i have been so lucky that i haven't gotten an std... i have so far gone an entire month without getting drunk or having sex with a rando or cutting or throwing a tantrum, and i'm starting to feel myself slipping. i want to respect myself and love myself for the first time in my life. what has helped you ? | overcoming promiscuity and other impulsive behaviors | 35wt4u | it will be easier to maintain self control if you stop drinking entirely. | bpd | 35wt4u |
age: 25 male 5'2" 105 lbs white i decided to get some blood work done since ive never had one performed before. ive always felt healthy and normal, but was curious. i was shocked to see some important values out of reference range, especially considering that im a 4+ year vegan and have been exercising consistently for the same length of time. i run about 30 miles a week and like to ride road bikes in the summer. please tell me what i can do to get my values in order. also, i know the reference numbers are a little generic, so let me know any thing else that is less than ideal and how to fix it. i need you to really nitpick and tell me what to do. thank you. blood test results: WEBLINK | critique my blood test | 5l7q0r | your bloods are probably better than mine. any relevant medical history? any prescription medication? any supplements? | askdocs | 5l7q0r |
17m 5’7” 135lbs i usually masturbate around 3-6 times a day and i was wondering if this could cause any kind of negative physical side affects. i am a trans guy so i still have female anatomy but i’ve been on testosterone for almost a year now so i do have bottom growth. i am not doing it this much out of compulsion it’s just because i’m bored and it’s fun, so i’m not concerned about it being any kind of mental issue just wanna make sure that it’s not gonna cause any problems physically. | am i jacking off too much? | frja9f | there are no serious negative consequences to masturbation. the most you can get is chafing to genitals and maybe sore hands. | askdocs | frja9f |
i've been suffering from social anxiety for a long time, and recently i've begun worrying i have asperger's. i don't know whether this is just my anxiety acting up, whether i'm simply looking for an excuse to justify my abysmal social performance or really anything. i'm very stressed and concerned about my mental health, as i can't even use facebook without suffering from an anxiety attack. more and more frequently i'll feel the need to say something, and then fret about what i'm about to say for up to an hour, and then finally decide it'd be best not to say anything. looking back on past conversations, the way i have acted seems to match up with various forms of autistic behavior (rambling on for hours about something the listener is totally uninterested in, inability to understand social cues, etc.), but i'm unsure how objective these assessments are. what should i do, reddit? | worried i have asperger's... | 2cd50k | the only way to know anything is to see a professional. they'll do all the assessments they think are necessary. if your anxiety is bad enough like you've described, seeing a professional couldn't hurt a bit. outside of that, books on mindfulness could be helpful. i'd love to offer some recommendations, but i don't really know of any off the top of my head. | mentalhealth | 2cd50k |
did some light research and it seems like it's a gray area whether a therapist should treat multiple members from the same family, because it can be difficult to remain objective. i personally liked the idea of my therapist seeing the bigger picture to my family dynamics by seeing my sister and mom as well (she no longer sees my sister at all, and my mom only very rarely). i have never felt like my therapist has crossed a boundary otherwise. | was it unethical for my therapist to treat my family members as well? | h9jmgl | treating multiple family members is not inherently unethical, and can be done well. there are therapists who are well trained in this and do a good job. it sounds like your therapist fits in this category. however , treating multiple people in a family is a slippery slope , and can potentially open the door to a host of ethical and clinical concerns. there was a post here (or in a similar sub) recently, in which a woman described concerns with a therapist who was treating both her and her husband. this became a problem because both husband and wife felt they were getting conflicting and confusing feedback. i'm really glad you had a good experience with your therapist. | askatherapist | h9jmgl |
it sounds like a childish wish... but why would i wake up ? my body is still alive, but i feel dead inside. nothing but an almost empty shell. no reason to be happy, no reason to wake up for the day to come... because i'll always feel the same, or even worse. i know my body isn't damaged enough to stop working, and unless i die in my sleep (if only), i'll wake up tomorrow. and to me, the date will be the only change. no matter how hard i try, it doesn't work, i can't bring myself to enjoy life. if only it could just stop... edit : guess who just woke up ? i feel like throwing up... | i hope i won't wake up tomorrow | 499m7e | i have recently added 150mg of wellbutrin to the 40mg of celexa i have been taking and finally my depression is lifting. i am also taking 50mg of naltrexone and 15mg of l-methyl folate and it has caused me to lose weight. i have the side effect of inability to orgasm but i'm hoping that will go away with time. my depression was so bad that i will give up orgasms to be out of it. | depression | 499m7e |
hey everyone. it’s been an anxious couple of weeks, unfortunately, so i think it’s time to get back into therapy :( like the title says, i was exposed to a head cold a couple days ago - my brother came down with a cold just after christmas. today, i woke up initially with an appetite, then my appetite went away and i started feeling warm, a little stuffy in the head, and just generally worn out/bleh. what’s got me all anxious is the fact that my appetite is gone and my stomach just feels a little... on edge, i guess. i even ate breakfast today and had a coffee while grocery shopping, as i felt much better in the afternoon. then i got home and started to feel the same symptoms. i’m just all anxious that it’s something stomach-related. any tips for feeling better or generally coping with the anxiety? | exposed to a head cold and now anxious. tips? | ehdqfj | update: i actually found something rather helpful just now, so i thought i would share! one of my major anxiety behaviors (and i’ll wager this is true for lots of you too) is obsessing over every little thing i feel in my body. i hyper-focus and end up thinking i’m feeling worse than i am. so i just took a quick, hard-and-fast scan of my body. i asked myself, how am i feeling in each of these parts? and gave myself only a second or so to decide. when i got to my stomach, the answer was “fine.” i then asked myself “overall, what’s the dominant thing i’m feeling in my body?” quick one second appraisal and the answer: anxiety. then i had this “aha” moment where i recognized that if i weren’t anxious, i would be feeling totally fine. like, i could just picture it. so, i decided, i’m going to act like i’m not anxious. i stopped pacing the floor and decided to do some stretches while watching youtube and then wrap the last christmas gift for my boyfriend (belated celebrations!). and you know what happened? all of the sudden, i felt a little glimmer of something. hunger! insane! i’m excited about this tactic. hopefully it helps someone. | emetophobia | ehdqfj |
this ones a tough one for me usually i can come up with something but i'm lost. tl:dr - live in different state than girlfriend for college, she has a hard time going out and socializing so i encourage it but when she does i become really sad. i don't want to tell her because she has depression and this will only make her sadder and less social. moved away to college in a different state than my girl friend and i'm miserable. after a semester i discovered none of my credits will transfer anywhere closer and now the girlfriend goes out and parties, drinks, has other friends and i'm sad. i don't feel like she happy with me or i make her happy. (i'm kind of a big nerd and loser) but worst of all i can't talk to her about any of this because she has depression and takes meds for it which don't help that much. if i were to bring it up she feels all bad and says she won't do it again but a week later she's face timing me crying about how she's lonely and has no friends and is bored all the time. so i take back what i say and just act happy that's she's getting out and having fun. and for a second i truly am happy for her but as the night goes on i get sadder for whatever reason. i really just don't know what to do anymore. i'm truly at an all time low and just really needed to write this all out somewhere so i'm glad this is here. any advice would be nice but i know this thread is kinda old now. i would also like to add it's not like i feel like she's going to cheat because i don't think she will but i still feel so shitty. and i feel shitty for feeling this way and don't quite know how to get over it. i already doubt this will get any view but i'm really giving it a shot and i also realize i probably sound crazy and need professional help but i don't know what to do. i truly do love this girl that's what makes it so hard. | need advice in a long distance situation where i have no clue what to do. | 5om4ml | i think you're sad because you're worried she might meet another guy. love and trust means you know the other person will always do the right thing. you're doing the right thing by encouraging her to be social, which is great for her development as a person. | relationship_advice | 5om4ml |
i was diagnosed with pcos back in september and was prescribed metformin and spironolactone. my doctor noted that i had slightly elevated cortisol levels and that is sometimes a result of cushing's syndrome. she also wanted to check my blood again for potassium levels due to taking spironolactone. i have a terrible fear of needles and will often have panic attacks and/or pass out. i can't go by myself because i can't drive myself home, and it takes me awhile to calm down so i can go back to work. i have three problems with getting blood work this time: 1) based on my google research, cortisol levels are your stress levels when your blood is taken, so if your stress levels are high during the test, you'l have high cortisol levels. it seems logical that i would have higher than normal cortisol levels when i'm deathly afraid of needles, and getting my blood drawn once again when i'm deathly afraid of needles seems like it would have the same result. i also have none of the other symptoms of cushing's other than weight gain, so it seems like there's no reason to suspect cushing's other than the cortisol levels. 2) i found studies through my google research that measuring potassium levels has been found to be generally unnecessary for young women taking spironolactone hasn't been shown to have that effect on young women. 3) i assumed i would need to get my testosterone and insulin levels checked again, since that's what i'm being treated for, but my doctor didn't even mention that as one of the things she would be looking at. when i brought it up, it didn't seem like she would be interested in those levels for this test. i don't want to get tested for two unnecessary things just to have to go back again and get tested for the problems i'm actually being treated for. the treatments are working well for me and i would like to just continue on my current path, but i'm worried that my doctor won't refill my prescriptions unless i get the testing done. i would really rather not inconvenience a family member and experience horrible anxiety unless i absolutely have to. am i just making excuses, or do i have reason to believe the testing is unnecessary? anybody else have experience with cortisol and potassium testing with pcos? ps sorry for the wall of text. | questions about bloodwork and needle phobia | 5ttrbi | i had cushing a ruled out by a 24 hour urin collection which measured my cortisol levels from the whole day. definitely ask about that as a possibility. i would explain the situation to your doctor and get a better understanding of the rationale behind the tests. ultimately it is your body. you weight the cost/benefit equation and decide what's right for you. i have anxiety and completely understand and sympathize with wanting to avoid that if at all possible. i also wonder if your doc could prescribe an anxiety medication to take the edge off blood draws if they are deemed absolutely necessary. my ativan helps me through some tough times. i send you good vibes! | pcos | 5ttrbi |
hi all. i'm not sure if it's impostor syndrome, or if i'm just unwilling to acknowledge some of my strengths. many people are amazed by my organisational skills. i chronically use productivity software to keep myself on track. i am really organised in certain areas of my life. if i'm looking at mindmaps, or trello i feel like i'm seeing the world in the matrix code, but outside of that, i feel like i know nothing. i cannot tell you what i did today, or what i'm planning to do tomorrow. i cannot tell you about specific details from client meetings i had yesterday. i can't even remember if i have a psych appointment this week or next week. but, when i'm in front of my laptop i am legendary. i am unstoppable. i can outwork and outthink anyone (if i want to). do any of you feel like this? | insanely organised? or pretending | 9zelnv | it sounds to me like you have brilliant organizational ability but just require a couple extra tools. it’s sort of like some of the special olympians who have a prosthetic leg but they run super fast and win all the medals, like that guy who killed his girlfriend in south africa. don’t kill your girlfriend (or boyfriend. or anyone really.), but do recognize that the adhd brain can sometimes work against itself; you’ve found a way to make your brain work with itself rather than against, and your adhd brain came up with those systems that help you to be so unstoppable. that’s a pretty amazing talented brain and a pretty amazing talented person to figure all that out and to reach that level of success with your organizational skills. | adhd | 9zelnv |
there are people who read this subreddit and related other ones looking for the most impaired, dysfunctional people they can find. they'll then message you privately and show a keen interest in you and your story. generally they're a little too interested for a total stranger who messaged you out of the blue. they will spend some time exchanging messages with you, try to form some kind of sympathetic bond with you, then eventually you'll get a message like this: " yknow if youre looking for a therapist, im not a therapist, but i would be a “life coach” (ie an unlicensed therapist) if you want for whatever your copay would normally be. i am actually interested to hear more about your life and experience and to talk with you about your problems. " this is a scam. i recently got contacted by one of these people and found it strange how he was so interested in my life and my problems, but never seemed to want to talk about any of his own. in my public posts, i'd made it clear that i am destitute, so i didn't suspect somebody looking to scam me for money at first, thus i continued my correspondence for a while longer until eventually i got the above message. there are predators out there, and they look for vulnerable people looking for answers to prey upon. don't fall for it! if you really think you need a "life coach", find somebody reputable. don't fall for this kind of trap. | beware of predatory "life coaches" here... | eg0lz4 | in my experience, most life coaches i've seen are either folks who want to be therapists but don't want to actually do any of the work or get the schooling to get the proper credentials, narcissists who believe they have superior skills and knowledge and that people should pay them so they can tell people what to do, or just flat out scam artists. the others i've seen are former therapists who do have the education and knowledge, but either had their licenses revoked for unethical behavior and/or at some point just decided they didn't want to practice using evidenced based approaches or just didn't want to have to follow the ethical guidelines because they didn't agree with them. either way, if you can afford to pay a life coach, you can at least afford some form of group therapy. there are enough bad therapists out there, but at least they're all beholden to their professional orgs, licensing boards, and laws that regulate the profession. a life coach could completely screw you up, or hell, even taken advantage of you and literally screw you and you have no legal repercussion. | adhd | eg0lz4 |
there is a guy who i work with who calls me and tells me to do things for him. it's not a problem to do the things he's needing me to do because it's my job. the problem is the way he's saying it. we're coworkers on the same level, and he just rudely orders me to do stuff instead of asking me, saying things like "you're gonna" instead of "will you." that may sound petty on my part, but sometimes when i'm really busy and he's doing this constantly it can get very tiresome. it seems like he's one of these really insecure alpha-males who has to get in a dick-waving contest with every other guy he meets. i've told him before that i usually respond better to people asking me nicely if they'd like me to do something as opposed to telling me to do it, but he's still doing it. should i just quit being a baby and deal with it or talk to him again? | how do you handle a coworker who rudely orders you around? | 1cbqz4 | do you have a good relationship with your boss? you might be able to bring it up with him/her. | socialskills | 1cbqz4 |
someone broke into my house and poisoned me, i know i have something under my skin because the person that did it told me so. what do i do to get it out of my system? where do i go and what do i say? i know for sure i have something in me that keeps ruining my body but have no idea how to get it out. they said that i have tattoos under my skin that keep aging me also that drinking water is bad for me. i can feel my organs under stress and i'm also restless all the time, i can feel something like a heartburn sometimes, and i used to vomit in the morning occasionally but now i don't. i got poisoned twice, one time around a half a year ago and a second time around three weeks ago. i am 22 years old male 180 cm in height i have schizophrenia currently taking 15 mg olanzapine and have no other medical problems | i got poisoned! help! 22[m] | ealjks | i think helpful advice has been given and this is turning into an argument instead. closing the discussion. | askdocs | ealjks |
my urine has become very light, almost neon yellow since i started taking supplements that had multiple vitamin b compounds(especially b2 and b12)i'm not ingesting more supplements than the recommended amount. is there anything i should worry about? thanks | vitamin b overdose? 18m | jwfj0d | that’s riboflavin (b2). it’s very yellow (flavin comes from latin flavus, meaning yellow) and when you excrete it in urine your urine is bright yellow. that said, unless you have a diagnose deficiency or specific risk, there’s no reason to take vitamins. you’re paying money to pee yellower. there’s no evidence that it helps you with anything, so you can spare yourself the trouble. | askdocs | jwfj0d |
hi, this is something i've been debating a long while now. and by a long while, i mean several years. friends of mine have been urging me all this time that i need therapy. friends who have had therapy themselves and know the signs and symptoms of people who need help. after my years of stubbornness and denial, i finally felt like i reached a limit. i need help. unfortunately, i don't know where to go. and the friends who have had therapy do not live in the same area as me, so they aren't familiar with the resources around where i live. i live in the houston, texas area, so any suggestions for good therapists would be appreciated. i don't have any medical insurance in case that information is needed. | a good therapist near me? | 72xen4 | i'm not sure what your money situation is. it can be fairly difficult to find a good therapist taking cash clients that is actually affordable to the average person, but not impossible. for many, they find it's absolutely worth it even if it means for the time being they have to cut back in other areas of their lives. psychologytoday.com is really good place to start to find a therapist in any area of the country. follow the link in my name for a little more detail about getting connected from the start and what you're in for. best of luck [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | mentalhealth | 72xen4 |
i started cbd about a year ago and am now on a 63 day headspace streak. but this weekend has been the toughest in several months. any advice on overcoming what seem to be a plateau? i know what set it off. something small but a constant source of angst for me. | i thought i was improving | dxs4dp | my rules for alcohol is - it’s a problem when it’s a problem. and how to know if it’s a problem is to see if it is causing problems with your relationships, your job, your health, or your legal status/freedom. if any of these areas are being negatively impacted because of your drinking, you have a problem. the term “alcoholic” is played out. it’s too vague and therefore easy for people to dismiss for anything other than a homeless guy under a bridge. just wanted to put in my two cents there on that. | anxiety | dxs4dp |
with everything that’s been going on in my life recently (covid and lots and lots of personal stuff) i’ve been suicidal but i really doubt that i’m ever going to act on it. i don’t want to hurt my family and give them one more thing to have to deal with, and i’m absolutely terrified of failing and being sent back to a psych hospital. with that being said, is there any way for me to tell my therapist that without her sending me to a hospital? i was already in one once and it didn’t help at all, it was traumatizing because i was there against my will (and would be this time too if she sent me, i’m assuming), it didn’t help, and the only outcome that i got from it is that i’ve been too afraid to attempt in fear of being sent back there in case i fail basically my problem is that because i’m afraid of my therapist sending me to the hospital, it’s limiting what i can talk to her about, and it’s things that i really want to talk about. plus because of my current situation, i can’t go to the hospital because i don’t know if i’d be able to finish my school work and i’m supposed to be graduating this semester to;dr if i explain to my therapist that i’m suicidal but feel like i’m very unlikely to attempt, and that i’m very afraid of being sent to the hospital for multiple reasons, will she have to send me? not being able to tell her is limiting things that i would like to talk to her about edit: i don't have the energy to respond to everyone individually, but thank you all. everyone had valuable things to say that made me realize that telling her is the best option, and i am going to do so at our next session. thank you all | is there any way to tell your therapist that you’re suicidal without being sent to the hospital? | fwq80o | ask your therapist, as this may vary by location and license . i can only hospitalized someone if they have a plan and intent to harm themselves. in the us, most hospitals don't have the capacity to take people in general, there is not much they can do for someone who is not at risk for immediate harm . your suicidal thoughts are important to discuss and process . i always feel really sad when someone is scared to bring it up. in most circumstances, if you say you have suicidal thoughts with no plan or intent , there is no issue . a therapist will also want to know the reasons you won't do it right now and what you can do to stay safe if something changes . | askatherapist | fwq80o |
this probably sounds like a stupid and self-answering question, but i’m truly torn about it. i’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now. it’s not serious but i care for him a lot and want to show him that i do. his birthday’s coming up soon and i wanted to get him a little something. but he recently told me he hates his birthday. he said he doesn’t like the attention. he hasn’t outright told me he doesn’t want anything and i’m sure he wouldn’t be upset with me if i did get him something. plus it feels wrong to get him nothing, almost rude. but i want to respect his feelings about his birthday and avoid making a huge deal about it, in case i make him uncomfortable. thoughts? | the guy i’m seeing hates his birthday - should i get him a gift? | d32vgy | i'm sure something small would be fine as long as you don't make a big deal out of it. you could also just ask him. | advice | d32vgy |
i'm introverted, with social anxiety, and have poor friend-making and socializing skills. i am a nuts-and-bolts kind of guy. i am wondering if the folks here can give me a handful of specific things that i can try to do, in the new year, to try to improve and become a better person? thanks in advance. | for 2013, can you recommend 3 or 5 specific, tangible things that i can do to try to improve my social skills and be more friendly and extroverted? | 14xas9 | i would take the time to work through this [guide to setting social skills goals](WEBLINK). knowing what your goals are will really improve your ability to build your social skills next year. | socialskills | 14xas9 |
ir sounds cheesy i know but a few years ago (5 to be exact) i was introduced to this girl at a small party. we spent around 3 years together as best friends possibly. spending day after day together constantly but as soon as she decided she wanted to make it a relationship i bailed (i still don't know why i did). now i've spent years with lots of different girls trying to find one who i think i should be with and every time i seem to try i cant stop thinking about her. shes had a boyfriend now for about a year and a half. i bumped into her a few months ago at a birthday party. we spoke for hours and she told me that she thinks she might marry this person. that night i cried for the first time in a long time. now im back to my old ways, pissing girls off by leaving them hang at the last minute cause id rather not be with someone incase miraculously she ends up not being with him. finally, i know i'm 21 and have my life ahead of me but i just need an opinion of some sort or advice from a similar situation someone has been in. cheers. c. | regret of the highest quality | 5mbg9x | sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time... | relationship_advice | 5mbg9x |
33 male 6" 210 no regular meds but currently on amoxicillin.stomach issues had stomach ultrasound done yesterday.there was some sludge and they said "remarkable for polyps" what does this mean? i go back in two weeks for a hida and to discuss treatment and possible gallbladder removal.but i'm afraid it's more serious.i'm going insane worrying about polyps. | the term remarkable for.... | 8zpy2b | "remarkable for x" means "x is something that is worth noting." or, more briefly, "i see x." | askdocs | 8zpy2b |
i love my coworkers at my new job and i have some friends through school. i'm outgoing, but at the end of the day, i want to be alone. i like to be alone. i have one close friend. i rarely see her. i don't talk to my family. i don't go out often. i am also tired from school and work. it's draining going out and socializing, both mentally and financially. (hey, more money for solo travel.) i used to want more friends, but now, i think i'm content just being a loner. | being social is overrated | 3fexyt | some people are social butterflies, and some are content spending a lot of time alone. i'm in the latter category, but as i've "matured", i've changed. i don't necessarily seek out social encounters, but i don't avoid them. i'm far more outgoing than i used to be. | depression | 3fexyt |
i feel like i really will never get over it. i’ve tried do hard and schools coming to an end and i just feel like an island that’s drifting away from ppl. no words can form connections with anyone around me and i feel completely lost. i often have an out of body experience i dunno how to explain it and i hate every single day. but i keep on thinking that studying in college will be different but i can’t stop worrying that it will be highschool all over again. and i love in germany which isn’t the most diverse place (ima poc). can anyone tell me how they became more social and a capable? like i get invited to parties and stuff (as in i’m involved) but i can’t stop thinking about stupid fucking details which make me feel irrelevant. my parents say i’m very responsible with the way i deal with shitty ppl but still i feel so immature and naive and so lost. i feel like i’m suffocating and can’t breathe. i love people and i need them and i can’t stand not being able to interact with them without my brain starting to spiral. can anyone please please share your journey? please. | is it possible to get over social anxiety??? | bbmtg6 | therapist here. so here's the thing with anxiety in general and social anxiety. everyone has it. it's a normal part of life. you, me, and everyone else will have anxiety until the day we die, so to this extent, you won't ever "get over it". now.... for some good news. some people are born to be more sensitive and anxious than others. some people are conditioned that way. your anxiety will never go away, but you can become stronger and braver. bravery is doing the things that make you anxious even though you have the anxiety. the more you practice this, the better you get. over time, the anxiety is still there, but just doesn't bother you as much. it takes a lot of will power and work to do this though. therapy can be very helpful. speaking personally, i can say that i absolutely hated high school. i was depressed, anxious, and went through some crazy mood swings. when i moved away out of my parents house and my hometown at 17 to go live on campus where i went to college it was an entirely different world. once again, the anxiety, the mood swings, everything else was still there, but being in the college environment helped give me the tools i needed to get stronger and face all of it. i'm 32. i still have a ton of anxiety. it sucks when it really hits me, feels fucking terrible, but overall, it doesn't keep me from doing things or living my best life the way it did when i was younger. | socialskills | bbmtg6 |
# let's celebrate our victories adhd is a daily challenge. sometimes it's hard to remember the positive and it can feel like things are rarely good. **we win every single day.** we challenge you to write down your wins and see if you feel better looking at the list later in the week. don’t worry if you miss a day or two or three! do what you can. even writing them down one day is a win. --- > one thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. the black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. at the darkest moment comes the light. > — *joseph campbell, the power of myth* --- **examples from previous weeks:** * abstaining from binge drinking for 11 days. keep it up! * worked to overcome their traumatic brain injury and had an awesome week. * i successfully adulted today. * i just got through 2 weeks of studying and finals and i did pretty good! * this weekend i was diagnosed with add, and people keep telling me they're sorry -- but i'm ecstatic! * i just finished my bachelors degree. --- ##### we love you, /r/adhd! be proud and celebrate with each other! — your community managers (and /u/blynng) **don't forget to join our other exciting weekly threads on [fridays](WEBLINK) and [sundays](WEBLINK)!** | win wednesday | alc2lv | handed in my research proposal amendments! woo! got one step closer to a diagnosis this week which will help get some support for my academics. started leasing a horse and sold my push bike to get 5 months agistment! | adhd | alc2lv |
so i am currently in a relation with this girl, we have been dating for like 3 months and been in an actual relationship for one month (very fresh relationship). her family situation is weird and she has family all over the country, therefor she travels alot between the cities. especially now during the holidays so i haven't seen her that much. so far we have had sex only once because of her being absent alot lately. either way, we were discussing what we should do when we meet eachother this saturday and she came up with a very weird proposal. she began asking if i could spend the whole day with her, i said yes. so far so good. she then asked if i was down to do whatever she wanted, i said maybe. she then said that she wants me to dress in womens clothing for her. this made me a bit uncomfortable for a few different reasons. we are still meeting up this saturday though, but no crossdressing. why would she want me to do something like this? is it some type of fetish? why would she want me to portray myself as feminine? i really don't know what to think. i'm an open-minded guy and i have done all sorts of things with previous girlfriends but never something that defies my masculinity in the bedroom. please give me some perspective on this, personally i just find crossdressing infront of my girl to be embarassing. | [m18] my girlfriend [f18] wants me to crossdress, why? | 5maygt | it's an odd request. i would see what other ideas are in her head too. | relationship_advice | 5maygt |
30 years old male here, no severe known medical problems, exercising intensely 3 times a week. my problem, it's been going on since months, i get so tired from waking up many times just to drink more water. i don't open my mouth when i sleep and sometimes it gets dry even during the day. i do hydrate myself and i always drink around 2l of water a day, even more during the summer. the ent doctor said it didn't know that maybe i sleep with mouth open and my mouth dries but this is not what happens, i recorded myself many times and speed video and never opened my mouth. i can feel the gums getting dry and next you know, whole mouth is dry. could it be a parasite? i've had some oral thrush in the past on and off but never gave me dry mouth. now with the ot kept in check the problem is still here. what could it be... a nephew of mine has/had giardia since few months ago and is often over our house playing; and is under treatment, do you think it is possible that somehow that was transmitted to me and it could possibly be this? shouldn't i have worse symptoms.. thank you in advance for your time. i don't know where else to ask anymore | 30m waking up 2-3 times per night to drink a sip of water because of dry mouth but not breathing through mouth | elce2r | this doesn't sound like a parasite, and the symptoms of giardia are abdominal (primarily diarrhea). my guess is that your house is just dry, especially during winter; it's a common problem when the heater is running. you could consider getting a humidifier and see if it helps. | askdocs | elce2r |
hi, my mom passed away about two months ago. it was incredibly unexpected, and a rare, one-off medical instance. to summarise our relationship, she is the person i love the most in the world. after she passed away, i was called home immediately. since i live on a different continent (20 hour journey), my family decided to not tell me the news over the phone and break it to me once i get home. the only thing i was told was that she is under intensive care and is very critical. i spent the entire flight in immense anxiety and to cope with it, i convinced myself that by the time i reach home, she will be better and i will get to see her and joke with her. i created a whole scenario of how everything will play out once i reach the hospital. my brother broke the news to me at the airport. the first few days, i stayed strong, planned for the family, did not show my grief too much and handled my father. but after two weeks or so, i started having anxiety attacks which i dealt with to some degree. however, i have become generally anxious in life. i fret and worry so much about everything and automatically assume the worst-case outcome for every scenario. this last thing has led to me constantly being nervous and anxious about everything that i do- from dealing with the new puppy we brought into our house to taking a flight. i feel like there is no line between my gut feeling and the negative thoughts that occupy my brain. i would really like to begin dealing with these emotions and start processing my anxiety better. any tips? i'm not in a position to see a therapist in-person atm, but will do so as soon as i can. | how to deal with anxiety after the death of a parent | ek1yds | i would strongly urge you to look into the work of albert ellis who wrote the book **"how to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable about anything, yes, anything**." this could be the book that changes your life. ellis wrote over 80 books and was one of the most revered psychotherapists of the 20th century. he wrote extensively on how to change your anxiety through thought and behavior change. ross g [WEBLINK](WEBLINK) | askatherapist | ek1yds |
hello! this is my first ever post on reddit but i’ve been a long time lurker on various subs including this one (this is a secondary account). also i’m not sure if i’m formatting this right or even if i’m in the right sub. so preemptive apologies if i’ve done anything wrong. anyway i’ve had pretty viscous social anxiety for most of my life but after a few years of therapy i’ve made a lot of progress to the point where i now have a close group of friends for the first time in 3 years. i’m currently last 2 years of high school by the way (ages 16-17). with these friends i revealed that i had a crush on this girl in our year and they’ve been trying to get me to text her or talk to her or something. they’re doing it in a friendly/funny way not like pressuring me maliciously or anything. but they persuaded me to follow her on instagram, which was one of the scariest things i’ve done, so i feel like i might be able to text her or something. but this is by far the worst part. the thing is i know next to nothing about this girl and i’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know i exist. i had a class with her last year (which i almost failed because i genuinely had a panic attack if she ever looked in my direction) but aside from that we’ve never had any interaction with each other. i can’t even really tell you what her voice sounds like. i don’t even know if we’re even compatible but, as my friends tell me, i’ll never know if i don’t speak to her. so my issue is that i’m terrified of talking to her and i don’t even know what to talk about with her if i did work out how to start a conversation with her in the first place. do you guys have any advice? feel free to ask any questions i don’t feel like i’ve really explained the situation clearly. | i like a girl but don’t even know how to begin to talk to her | cjrlc2 | here's something to consider. if you've never even talked to her, you don't even know whether or not you really like her. you like the way she looks. you like the image of who she is and what she's like that you've created in your head. who she really is could be far off from that. the only way to know if you actually like her and not your fantasy of her is to get to know her. this could very well be a generational thing (i'm 32) but i don't think establishing initial contact via social media is going to be your best bet. even if it's what many folks in your generation are doing and it's becoming the norm, there's still an aspect that could send off a creepy vibe. what i can tell you is i feel your pain and was in a very similar situation when i was your age. the advice that i wish i could go back in time and tell myself is both what i wrote at the top and the following: the best thing you can do to open up the door and reduce anxiety when it comes to talking to people is to make it a regular habit to greet people whenever you're passing and make eye contact. it could be something as simple as a nod and a "hey" or "good morning". once you get used to doing that and do it regularly, everything else becomes so much easier. if you want to talk to somebody that you've never had a conversation with, the best thing to do is to go up to them and ask them a question about something. it's always better to ask open ended questions that require an actual longer answer than one that can just be answered with a yes or no. ex. good open ended questions: "hey, i noticed you hang around with a lot of the music kids. i'm trying to find out some more places to go and see some local bands. do you have any advice on what places i should check out?" "hey i noticed that you're pretty involved with this one club at school. i wanted to check it out. can you tell me a little bit about it and what you all do?" bad closed ended questions: "hey, do you know if they have bands play at __________" "hey, are you in ______ club?" after a few actual conversations, you'll actually get to know her more. that'll help you figure out if you actually do like her and once again not the image of her you've created. after that, you might actually get some feeling as to if she's interested in you and pursue things from there. it's never a good idea to just admire someone from afar then one day blurt out, "i like you! let's be boyfriend and girlfriend!" | socialskills | cjrlc2 |
my wife has did. i've spoken to two different personalities besides her main one. i know the source - or at least what they say the source is - for the splitting. lately it's been worse. my wife, when she realizes she switches after coming back, has been more and more distraught and unable to deal with the repercussions - she only seems to switch when she's with me, like it's a 'safe' time to go. this morning, she woke up as one of the alters. and then she switched back moments later. and tried to harm herself. i love her. she's the most wonderful woman i know. she's been through a lot of troubles and pain, and i just want to help her. i don't want to hurt her. i had to bandage a cut taking the knife away from her this morning, and the only reason i didn't call 911 was because one of the alters showed up just before i did and said she would take my wife to a mental health clinic for help. this is my wife. i love her so much. one of the alters i can sometimes have issues dealing with, and the second is, at least, calm and pleasant and can work with me. but i need to help her - the did is secondary to her occational self-harm ideation. i suffer from depression myself, and i really feel myself darkening, because the drain of this. i need to keep myself going for her and i cannot let myself fall. i know that i need help myself, but i need to hold on. i need advice. or help. i'm in seattle. any ideas would help. | living with someone with did: reaching a crisis point. | 2ikm1x | call 911 or a local crisis line. immediately. | mentalhealth | 2ikm1x |
i recently broke up with my boyfriend of a couple years and am not sure if its the right decision. i eventually ended the relationship a few weeks ago because of lack of effort he put in and i didn't feel like he was interested in me anymore for the past few months. we have been talking a lot recently and i'm wondering if getting back together would be worth it, because i do care about him a lot and loved being with him when he put in effort. i feel like even though we had been dating for awhile, we are still so young and there definitely still needs to be effort put into a relationship. so basically i'm just wondering if anyone has had any similar experiences or has gotten back with an ex and it ended up working out. | has anyone gotten back together with an ex and not regretted it? [22/f] and [23/m] | 76z49c | i broke up with my wife in 1968 when i was 16. i wrote to her 10 years later and we've been married ever since. | relationship_advice | 76z49c |
hi all, was hoping some of you could provide me with some of your thoughts on how to handle this tough situation. my gf and i have been madly in love with eachother for 2 years but have dealt with a number of obstacles along the way. main issue has been that her parents do not approve of me and as such we've hidden our relationship from them for a long time. and basically this has always left our relationship in ambiguity (are we actually exclusive or not etc), as if we could be "broken up" any moment. recently i had to travel for work for a couple months so we were away from eachother for a long time. i just came back and found out she had hooked up with a friend of hers for a couple times and had hidden this from me (she said she wanted to find the right time to tell me). we had a huge fight about it, i said some things i shouldn't have said, but we made up and stayed over at mine for the next few nights. we talked it all through and she said she just felt lonely and didn't mean to hurt me, she doesn't feel anything for the other guy and has already cut it off (her words). she said she loves me and really wants this to work but just often feels lost on how to make it work. she just wants a break for 1 week and we planned to meet again next week to discuss further. she said she needs some time to collect her thoughts. i love this girl to death, and know that often this is just the slow walk to an actual break up but i'd really appreciate your thoughts on what i could/should be doing during our break? i want nothing more in this world than to make this fixed again. thanks! | my gf [27] wants a break with me [26m]. what do i do? | 6pvb8g | guidelines for a break. 1 month. coffee 1-2/wk. no dating others. | relationship_advice | 6pvb8g |
is it worth it spending money and going to a therapist? of course it is, no doubt about that. but how do i convince myself to go there? mom thought i was lying about being depressed, but she's recently begun to notice abrupt changes in me. she wants me to go see a therapist, but i think it's a waste of money. a little about myself: i'm 17. i've been suffering a rather bad case of "buyer's remorse". i am a miser and have trouble spending money. the worst part is when i lose something. i have a mental breakdown, feel nauseous and sometimes feel a bit suicidal. how do i bring myself to overcome this? i've lived a rather tough past but i'm financially doing fine now. my past still haunts me. *this may not be the best place to post this. not sure if i'm depressed, but i'm pretty sure i have mental issues, so i'll post this on a more relevant sub-reddit if needed. *i have a bad habit of writing non-sense. if you don't understand anything, please ask me to elaborate. i also need to overcome this habit as well. | money and therapy | 76kb2v | is it worth the money? yes. you say you are only 17, right? if you are still in school you can talk to a school counselor. taxes pay for them. they may ask you to seek outside support, but there are some community/volunteer counseling services that are rather cheap. just google it for your area. school counselor first. | mentalhealth | 76kb2v |
sometimes from intense stress, my emotions can get inflated into uncontrollable (long) crying or complete silence and refusal to move or be responsive. afterwards, i may either calm down or somehow burst into movements which appear to be excessive contortions on the floor/bed that others described it as a seizure or stroke. if i stay still i probably would have my head swaying or twitching. i can't remember. it would either happen silently or loudly, and may last for a few minutes. it doesn't happen often, but whenever it does it's always scary or irritating. my parents leave me alone once this appears since they've experienced those displays since i was a child. friends either try to help or get frustrated. recently this happened in public (which never happened before - it was always private), and i was sent to the emergency even though it was unnecessary. since then i've been curious if this reaction has a label. i have mood disorders and a personality disorder. but i don't think i have any known neurological conditions. at first, i discovered "psychogenic non epileptic seizure" - but since i do not know what an actual seizure looks like, i looked them up and they didn't appear like mine, i think. but i've only seen a few and i'm just unsure. then i guessed maybe it's factitious. but i would not have a purpose or goal in mind including sympathy or exaggeration to get my feelings across. it acts like a release i cannot control. almost like a reflex. it doesn't happen gradually as if i'm about to force it, it just happens suddenly... is there an expression or word for this kind of reaction? english is second or third language to my parents; they would use the word "hysterics" for this. sorry for long post. | emotional reaction looking like a seizure? | 2457t0 | intense emotional distress can at times manifest through somatic (physical) symptoms. psychogenic seizures are not unheard of. however, it would be best to have an examination by a physician just in case. | mentalhealth | 2457t0 |
age: 28 sex: female height: 5'3 weight: 110lbs i know grapefruit is off the table, that's totally fine with me as i've never been a big consumer of it. however, i do drink water with about a whole small lemon's worth of juice every day. i can't find much on it through google, but seems like the two common fruits we eat today are probably related, or at least, lemons also contain furanocoumarins. does consumption of lemons, or even limes, have any impact on ssris? | zoloft and citrus fruits | 97tze5 | the clinical, real-world significance of grapefruit's effect on sertraline metabolism isn't so clear, and it's also not very well known how much other citrus fruits have effects on drug metabolism. if you have been drinking lemon juice and had no problems it's not likely to start suddenly. if zoloft is a new medication then i still would consider it safe to consume lemon, or even grapefruit, with the understanding that it could possibly increase drug levels. bottom line: there are drugs that definitely aren't safe with grapefruit, but zoloft and other ssris aren't clearly in that category. with other fruit it's even less clear. for a perfectly clean metabolic picture you'd have to avoid all food entirely, and that's obviously impossible. | askdocs | 97tze5 |
this has honestly been one of the most difficult things for me to explain to "normal" people. i'm aware that the thoughts and feelings that are spawned by my anxiety and myriad of mental problems are irrational, silly, make me feel worse over nothing, etc. consciously, rationally, i know that i don't have anything to fear about making a simple phone call, or going to the store, or checking my e-mail. i also tend to compare myself a lot to other people, and i get very down and envious about the fact that i'm not "as good", with my well-meaning friends always telling me "you don't need to be as good, it's not a race, go at your own pace, your work is still appreciated, etc etc". *i know* logically this is all true. but knowing this doesn't magically make those thoughts go away. no matter how hard i try to articulate this, they just cannot seem to understand and it's endlessly frustrating. any advice? mainly with trying to explain this concept to people, but i guess also with dealing with this knowing/feeling disconnect in the first place. | how to explain to normal people that knowing my feelings are irrational doesn't stop me from having those feelings? | 5ypuuq | telling a person with anxiety to relax is the same as telling a person with epilepsy to quit seizing. use that. also that if it was just logic, you'd be fixed a long time ago. | anxiety | 5ypuuq |
to start off, i've been in only one relationship before, and it was back in high school. we dated for a year and a half, broke up, and here we are today 4 years later. we didn't break up because we were incompatible, we broke up because we had no free time for ourselves and burned ourselves out of each other. i recently tried talking to her again to catch up as friends (and maybe more if it happens) but she has been completely ignoring me. i don't know if she just simply wants nothing to do with me, or if she doesn't want to tell the guy off that she's seeing just yet (it's nothing serious yet). either way, she isn't responding, so it's out of my hands at this point and nothing more i can do. anyways, now that you guys have some background on my relationship resume, the current problem i'm facing now is that i'm extremely worried i'm going to end up alone in life. i work, but the office consists of mostly men and a few older women. i go to college, but i'm taking all-online classes because it's the most frugal & convenient option. my friends all have night jobs and we really never hang out except maybe once a month, if even that. my daily life consists of waking up, going to work, coming home, doing school work, then relaxing and maybe play some video games before bed. i've tried dating sites like tinder, okcupid, plenty of fish, etc, but none have beared any fruit. at least not any fruit that i'd want to try out. i know i'm only 21 right now, and i have quite some time ahead of me, but i don't get invited to college parties and never get invited out to bars so i'm having trouble meeting people my own age. am i overthinking it? do i just need to let it happen? should i be going out solo? i know it sounds desperate but i'm losing my mind. | [21m] worried i'll be single the rest of my life | 5wotwh | you sound really lonely and loneliness does not have to be not should it not be mitigated solely by a significant other. what about instead of focusing on finding a girlfriend (because like you are aware you are young) focus on finding a good group of friends that has availability to hang out...maybe this could be some of the guys you work with. it's possible that getting out of your comfort zone with people you don't really know, spending time out instead of at home, and in general having more fun will decrease your sadness about not having a girlfriend. and through these new friends you will meet their friends and their friends of friends, some of which are bound to be...women! | relationship_advice | 5wotwh |
i've got a long way to go towards recovery. but on my journey i've re-discovered food. i love food. like, i have these moments of appreciation while i'm eating where i'm over whelmed with the sense of joy that i have something to eat. the only other time i've felt this way was when i fasted for 10 days and having my first meal. has anyone else had moments like these during there journey? | eating | c1qmv7 | gratitude is a beautiful thing! i remember realizing that i actually had more paper towels to use after i ran out, or even had paper towels to begin with. when i was at my worst, spending money on paper towels was not even on the radar. crazy, but thinking about this small thing really gave me perspective on how much i had changed. | alcoholism | c1qmv7 |
i know i'm fucked up in the head. i don't actually have a masturbation problem but it seems that the concept is the first thing to pop in my mind when thinking about a variety of things. the racism is weird too because my only friend is a gay black guy. i am just mean to my wife, plain and simple. it's because i has my heart broke when i was young. i know that i'm a piece of shit. i have a csp problem too. then i pick at her as well. we both look like tweeters or something but we are not. it's all me and my mental problems. i'm sober now, but because i gave abused alcohol and marijuana in the past the doctors won't give me anything to really help my depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. i cry when i see the humane society commercials but the feed the children ones don't bother me. i don't know where to go to get help. i refuse to end up in another facility on a 5150 hold. | can't stop the weird thoughts... in should be put to sleep like a sick animal | 1vf7qa | the humane society commercials make me bawl like a baby, too, and the hungry children don't phase me. that's not fucked up, and one less thing to worry about. the magazine psychology today has a therapist finder on their website. i'd look into that. | mentalhealth | 1vf7qa |
i woke up one day about a week ago and just stopped picking for the most part. i've had scabs on my back and arms for literally years and it just feels so good knowing they're almost all healed. its hard, but it gets better. this sub has helped me tremendously | finally getting better and i'm proud of myself | 97jb6d | that's so incredible! i'm really proud of you! amazing job being aware of the issue and working to take better care of yourself. such an important life skill! many hugs to you! | compulsiveskinpicking | 97jb6d |
you're not dying. those aches and pains you're feeling? normal. those muscle spasms in your chest and all around your body? normal. feeling like your heart/chest is being squeezed? also normal. feeling like you can't breathe/aren't getting enough air/like something is stuck in your throat? normal. your heart is pounding and occasionally skipping? you guessed it, also normal. those feelings of dread and like everything is gonna go wrong? yep, normal and goes hand in hand with all these sensations when we're too aware of them. 100% of the sensations you're feeling and going through are normal in every day life, we're just unfortunately hyper aware of them. we feel a pain or uncomfortable sensation and our minds immediately go to the worst possible scenario, death, but that won't be the outcome. these things may be scary and uncomfortable, but they won't be the death of us. we've felt them numerous times before and haven't dropped dead then, we won't drop dead now. stay strong everyone. edit: r/healthanxiety is a great subreddit for people that struggle with these things on a daily basis, for those of you unaware of it's existence. ❤️ | a friendly reminder. | arykqh | this is perfect. thank you for sharing. | anxiety | arykqh |
male/34/220lbs/usa i bought an oximeter to record my oxygen when sleeping while i wait for my sleep doctor appointment next month. everything is fine at sleep but what i have noticed during daytime hours is that my oxygen level is 93-94% on days i drink very little water. on days i have a lot of water, i am around 96%. can hydration effect this? | can dehydration lower oximetry (spo2) percentage? | 8y5ydk | anything over 90% is fine, and no, hydration will not effect your spo2 unless you're dehydrated to the point of not perfusing your extremities. | askdocs | 8y5ydk |
almost talked myself out of going to my first aa meeting last night. so glad i didn't. it was such an amazing experience. powerful voices sharing their experiences, welcoming members, and great small talk after. i wasn't ready to admit to being an alcoholic last night, but feel ready when i go tonight. i can honestly say that the anxiety leading up to walking in those doors was far worse than actually sitting through a meeting. today started with a very realistic dream. i was at my house with my usual friends, had a great 6 pack of beer, downed 4 over the course of an hour, nothing unusual. had the normal frustrated conversation with my wife about my control and moderation. snuck into the fridge for a couple shots of tequila. started planning how i was going to cope with my hangover the next day, if i was going to sneak a shot when she was still in bed, convince her to get a beer with lunch, a typical day in paradise. my mind was filled with regret, shame, and inner directed anger. upon waking i did a quick body check to remind myself that this was simply a dream. walked the dog while listening to the sound of the breeze as it rustled the leaves. had my morning cup of coffee followed by 1.5 hours of yoga. now i am about to work on a report and know damn well that the quality will be far better than what i typically produce when hungover and foggy. thank you all for your support. onward and upward. | day 4, onward and upward | 25smfg | sounds like you're doing really well. congratulations! >i can honestly say that the anxiety leading up to walking in those doors was far worse than actually sitting through a meeting. if you decide to work the steps, keep that experience in mind. for me, nothing i've had to do in sobriety has been as bad as the anxiety that came before doing it. | stopdrinking | 25smfg |
how long does it really take? i just find it so dissapointing where every session i measure my progress and don't see any at all. i literally just wait for it to kick in but it doesn't kick in. are you supposed to even feel anything from therapy? and if it takes a ridiculously long time like 6+ months to improve just a little bit then what the hell is the point? doesn't seem worth it to me. i want to see tangible improvement week to week if i am going to pay ~ $100 ish per session. i really don't have that kind of time to just wait for therapy to kick in. i'm already with a new therapist recently as of winter break so its been 6+ weeks and still nothing. this isn't my first therapist either but around my 4th. and this is cbt btw. | how long does therapy take to produce results? | 5scyg8 | since it's cbt, how much homework are you being given, are you practicing between sessions, and what goals have been set? the truth is, 6 months isn't a long time in therapy, and is probably the minimum you need to expect real, lasting change. therapy takes time because it's about forming a relationship with the therapist and using the relationship to make changes. that's not a speedy process. | mentalhealth | 5scyg8 |
i'm just having a bad night after a bad week in what's been the worst year of my life so far. i'm still pretty young, so i'd think it'd be a waste to do anything to myself right now. i really don't know where to go. someone just give me some words of encouragement please. edit: thank you all so much. it means so much to me just to see that someone cares about me. even if you people are just strangers. i'm feeling a little better. just sitting back and watching the lecture posted by rainnthunder. i'm gonna be okay. :) | i really just want to hear something nice or inspirational. | rvvbo | [last lecture](WEBLINK) go. watch this. it's an hour and some change, by a man named randy pausch who had terminal brain cancer and is performing his "last lecture" at carnegie mellon. he is funny, inspiring, hopeful and makes me glad i'm alive, because that means i still have a chance to make my dreams come true. i hope this helps you, too... | suicidewatch | rvvbo |
i am a 19 year old hispanic male who is 5’5” and these problems i’ve been putting aside.these problems has been going on for 3 years now ever since i got my 1st job and lost time to hangout with my only friends resulting in isolation.now i have no friends.what type of doctor should i see based on my problems below? these problems i’ve been putting aside for 3 years now.**should i see a psychologist or psychiatrist for these problems?** •low self esteem •self hate(personality and looks) •thinks everybody hates me(mostly girls) •masturbate to girls showing their midriff •don’t want to be old •hate certain people(,ugly) •rage and nothingness feeling •used to diagnose myself •lost interest in things i used to have interest due to no time for myself cuz work •no motivation to do anything but i force myself •trouble making/keeping eye contact with people •feel little to no sympathy for others who get hurt(aka it doesn’t shock or get my attention,it’s like i’m used to seeing it) •i don’t want to be alone yet i don’t want to try talking to people •nothing excites me anymore •i hate people who smile at me •i can’t smile anymore •i don’t like listening to people/i rather have short talk but i hate conversations •i don’t what i want to do in life or why i’m alive for | based on my mental problems what type of doctor should i see? | bm36od | ideally i would say you should see a psychiatrist who practices psychotherapy, but those can be difficult to find. you can start with either a psychiatrist or a psychologist. without more details it’s hard to say whether medication is likely to be very effective, but therapy does sound like it would be useful to you. (my bias is that therapy is useful, though not necessary, for just about everyone.) | askdocs | bm36od |
age: 23 sex: trans man (ftm) height: 5’3” weight: 140lbs race: white duration of complaint: n/a location: united states any existing relevant medical issues: n/a current medications: wellbutrin xl, levothyroxin, testosterone cypionate, tretinoin my parents were talking about how my infant niece has hepb and i was obviously really worried about her, but they then said that a lot of babies get the virus in serbia and that i even had it. i grew up in the us so i’ve never heard of this and never even knew i ever had it til now. is it possible that i’ve been unknowingly spreading it to others through sex or donating blood? will my kids get it if i give birth? no one i know has ever said anything about testing positive for hep b but i’m still really worried and shocked by this. | just found out i had hepatitis b as a baby, can i transmit it as an adult? | jryzgd | if you don't know, you need to be tested for hepatitis b. most adults, many children, and some infants who are infected clear the virus, and after an infection you are immune. however, there is the chance that you did not clear it and are chronically infected, which would mean you could infect children, sexual partners, or blood recipients. if you have donated blood, though, that's routinely screened, and you probably would have received notice if your blood tested positive. still, it's easy enough to have a hep b panel drawn, and you can find out if you are infected or were previously infected and are now immune, or even if your family is entirely mistaken. | askdocs | jryzgd |
i see a counselor and nurse practitioner for meds. diagnosed with anxiety, depression, adhd, and possible bipolar. i usually start to experience a weird mental state around the time the seasons change (now). i don’t trust myself or my decisions in this state and feel mentally disconnected and like i’m losing my mind. but i still know who i am so it’s hard to say whether this is psychosis or not. i am supposed to leave in a few days for an all paid work conference and i’m scared to go. help? | mental status is declining and leaving for a work trip in 2 days... worried for my safety? | d4531q | are you able to reach out to your counselor to process what you are feeling right now? not sure when you last saw them, but maybe a phone call could give you some clarity and a chance to sort it out a bit. it sounds like you've experienced psychosis before, do you know what your warning signs are? if so, is there an established plan to address the warning signs as they present? | mentalhealth | d4531q |
hi all, i'm a 15 year old female, 16 in february. i've been suffering from something really weird, but i haven't told anyone yet because nobody believes me. **i have a medical history of depression, potential schizophrenia, anxiety, and severe autism** 4 years ago i was 'diagnosed' with schizophrenia by a therapist, but most doctors have said this diagnosis is false. however, things in my life have been getting worse - and weirder. i'm the happiest i've ever been. i'm sleeping well for once, i'm interacting with kids my age, and i'm doing ok grade-wise - but something weird has been happening. my mood shifts in the blink of an eye. i'm either perky as all hell or on the verge of suicide, and there's nothing in between. my emotions are always very intense. then the hallucinations started... i don't have an exact time or date, but i'll see and hear things that aren't there. some common ones: auditory: -people whispering my name -'come here' -laughing -crashing noises -screams, but not of any words i can pick out. just manic screaming. -'help me' visual: -every night, when getting into bed, i see an old man standing at my door. he has a long face, thin nose, and wide eyes. he's sometimes grinning, sometimes just staring. he never moves. he disappears after i close my eyes for a few seconds. -i see a young girl, maybe 16-17, standing in my mother's bathroom, every time i walk up the stairs. she's in a hospital gown and her hair covers her eyes. she disappears within seconds. -if the bathroom light isn't on, i'll see distorted people and hands clawing at the doorframes, like they're trapped and trying to get out. this lasts until i walk away or turn on the light. -i had one instance where the white line on the road's edge seemed to twist and contort randomly. (i was not the driver. i was a passenger.) i also have weird, reoccurring dreams in the same places i've never been, with reoccurring characters i've never seen before. none of it ever has any parallels to my real life - usually. every time i dream, i'm in this place. the plot varies. i'm always waken up in either a good mood or terrified out of my mind. sometimes i see these people in public but they disappear seconds later. my dad has a master's in psychophysiology, and says it's just puberty, but my mother is concerned. wait time for a doctor out here, even one out of our coverage, is 3 months to a year at best. i don't know what to do. i'm not super concerned but i hate to see my mom worrying about me, and if the doctors here think i should get it checked out i'll do my best to book an appt. i'm not going to take anything said here for gods word. i have to get actually diagnosed. | hallucinations? | eh46z3 | no idea but definitely worth talking to a professional that you trust. not thinking it's schizophrenia either but can't exclude it either. any trauma history? sometimes adverse experiences can come out in weird and wonderful ways. think this could be your way of dealing with emotions given your autistic tendencies? i don't think anyone here will give you a definitive answer but it's definitely worth exploring and you should probably tell someone about these and how they make you feel. anyone worth their medical degree should believe you and help you understand why they are occurring and what to do about it. | askdocs | eh46z3 |
this post is about a 21 year old female (5'3", 118lbs), living in canada, with no prior mental illness or substance abuse conditions, but has been diagnosed with a prolactinoma 5 years ago. she is a non-smoker, takes no medications for anything including her prolactinoma. i apologize in advance for grammar/spelling issues– still shaken up. my sister, young 20s, has no prior history of mental health or substance abuse. in the past few days, she has seemed completely normal. as a university student, she drinks a fair share, and has never experienced anything like this. her prior health conditions consist of a prolactinoma, which was diagnosed about 5 years ago. she tried medication in the first year, but felt that the side effects were too much. since then, it has gone untreated. last night, she went to go see her friend for her birthday, and have a few drinks outside across a bonfire social distancing style. again, i want to emphasize that in the past my sister has drank significantly more, and been fine. her friends call us at one point in the night saying she's "too drunk and needs to be taken home". upon getting there, she is completely delusional, trying to hurt us and those around her, paranoid and screaming that people are coming for her and that we need to run, and saying we are imposters dressed as her family and not her real family. nothing calms her down, and she gets to the point where she is being extremely aggressive with us and putting herself and our life in danger so we call the cops and ems. after 20 minutes (don't get me started, police took forever and that felt like a lifetime) she still hasn't calmed down and is still screaming the same delusions and trying to attack us (my dad is pinning her down at this point) the emts finally arrive, sedate her and check her in as a psych patient. she is coherent, but groggy, now, and the psychiatrist has ruled out pre-existing mental illness. the psychiatrist says she believes it's alcohol induced psychosis, but i have a really hard time believing that as my sister is a frequent partier/drinker, and has way more alcohol in the past, and nothing even measurable to this extent has happened before. that is why my gut tells me that it is not due to the alcohol because she has drank way more in the past and never experienced anything like this. from my research i have read some case reports of prolactinomas being linked to psychiatric manifestations, like psychosis, but the psychiatrist is very dissmissive of that. (note, she also has severe hyperprolactinemia as a result of her tumour). i am more inclined to believe it has something to do with her tumour, that may have been exacerbated by alcohol, rather than alcohol induced psychosis on its own. thoughts? | psychosis due to alcohol or prolactinoma? | gjsusl | the association of prolactinoma with psychosis is because of the use of dopamine agonists (bromocriptine, among others) to treat the hyperprolactinemia, and the fact that hyperprolactinemia (but not functional tumors) can be caused by antipsychotics, which would be used to treat psychosis. if your sister isn't on anything, that's not plausible. it's likely that she was assessed for admission, and that assessment likely included both drug screening and alcohol level. in someone partying, on the differential are a few more than "a few" drinks, and other drug use. | askdocs | gjsusl |
my husband and i are working on scrubbing down, sanding and painting the front and garage doors today. while i have always happily pitched in, my refillable cup was usually refilled w rum and coke or something similar. today when he realized we needed new paint rollers i was able to say "you start cutting in with the paint brush, i will zip up to the store and get rollers" my cup was filled with frozen citrus and water today. on day 14. that is an embarassingly simple thing to be proud of but i am. before he would have had to go himself and lost 20 mins on painting. moving onto a coconut la croix with mint and a book on the deck! | i felt proud | cd7417 | you should be proud of yourself!! it’s noticing those changes that help us stay grateful (at least it does for me anyways)!! good work; hope the project comes out great! | stopdrinking | cd7417 |
i’ve been conflicted on whether or not i’m faking this whole depression. i know it sounds absurd and offensive. why would anyone want to pretend and act depressed? but i denied my mental health so much that now i’m not able to tell what feels real and what doesn’t. so i’ve been stuck with this mindset that i’m not really depressed. and that i’ll wake up back to normal, but everyday nothing really changes. worst has to be the numbing feeling. i laugh, i smile. but it doesn’t feel real. i wake up early in the morning before the sunrise, and instead of being excited like i used to, i just feel uninterested. medication doesn’t really work. i haven’t really made the effort to talk to a therapist. and sometimes when i do vent with a close friend, it only feels satisfying for a bit. then nothing. i really can’t understand why in a years time i changed so much. does anyone know if it’s possible for someone to not be actually depressed or have anxiety, and just pretend they do because they believe so much that they have it? obligatory mention of my age, sex, height and medication: 21, male, 5’9”, 145 pounds, anti depressants and buspirone for anxiety. | can you fake having depression? | duxvor | >worst has to be the numbing feeling. i laugh, i smile. but it doesn’t feel real. i wake up early in the morning before the sunrise, and instead of being excited like i used to, i just feel uninterested. that sounds very much like depression. people think depression has to be "i feel really sad all the time," but that isn't the only way to be depressed. feeling like all the joy and fun has disappeared from life can also be a form of depression. you say medication doesn't work but nothing about what hasn't worked. you haven't tried therapy. i urge you to give at least one, and maybe both, a shot (or another shot). | askdocs | duxvor |
i saw this post on r/tumblr of someone self diagnosing themselves with all sorts of illnesses. after the anger subsided. it made me wonder. honestly, why do people selfdx? is it a trend? i notice people tend to self diagnose with certain illnesses more often then others (anxiety, autism(?)) how do they come up with the diagnosis in the first place? those who do self diagnose- how has it helped you? why haven't you sought a psychiatric or psychological assessment? how do you seek treatment without official diagnoses? edit: although lots of down voting, i really appreciate everyone that posted some really interesting and valid things. mental health awareness and access to services seem to be a big issue all over the world, whether health care is paid, free, whether your in a developed or developing nation. those in rural areas are also greatly affected. we tend to focus on the "attention seeking self diagnosers" (myself included) instead of looking at the overarching global problem! thanks again to everyone and wishing you all the best | why do people self diagnose ? | 68a1gp | simply put, self-diagnoses put labels on symptoms that people don't understand. when they're able to label it, they think they understand it better, and can then treat it better. | mentalhealth | 68a1gp |
my (21f) boyfriend (21m) of over a year is an underground artist. he has fans that are constantly hitting him up on social media, a large majority of them are girls. and there is no evidence of us or me on any of his social media accounts, because he says he only has them for his music. i don't have any social media, i deleted all of them about half way into our relationship, which is a different story. but about a month or so ago, i told him that it made me really uncomfortable that there is no evidence of me at all. we both have totally conflicting schedules, so we barely go on any dates. as a result, there are no new pictures of us. so, he says, because of that, he has had no reason to post one, but it makes me severely uncomfortable.even on our year anniversary, i honestly expected some kind of post about us, and there was nothing. he said he just doesn't think of his social media like that and that he hates when couples do that. am i being a bitch/too sensitive or do i have a reason to be this upset? | my (21f) boyfriend (21m) of over a year is an underground artist and constantly has girls telling him they love him and there's no evidence of me or us on his social media. | 5py83u | you either trust him or you don't | relationship_advice | 5py83u |
this made me sad. WEBLINK went to the first farmer's market of the season and was struck by all the alcohol present. it was a beautiful morning, with lots to see and do. why does alcohol need to be a part off that equation? a stand next to the coffee cart was serving mixed drinks. at 8 in the morning. then i walked by this sign and it made me so sad after reading all the stories from people here who weren't present for their kids when they were drinking. and what's the message? we need alcohol to cope with parenthood? geeze. really glad to not be drinking! | this sign made me sad. | 8hcqkw | i feel sad too seeing this. motherhood is v tough at times, but the booze only makes it harder as you cant enjoy the good times and the hard times are twice as hard. there was a time when i would have smiled at this and it would have justified my drinking further. i know lots of parents enjoy a glass of wine etc, but i always found it hard to just have one or two so its not for me. good luck and take care. | stopdrinking | 8hcqkw |
i have a brother who doesn't have a single friend. he may have autism spectrum disorder, but 3 doctors have been unable to diagnose him properly. they basically say, "he might have it, he might not" there's no clear diagnosis. he can interact, but the problem is he sometimes doesn't respond when people try to talk to him, or he just doesn't make eye contact, which gets perceived as being rude. he also makes childish noises, like grunts when he's interacting with people. he's said that he wants friends, but he buries himself in other activities (right now school) so he makes the excuse that he's too busy to take the initiative to make friends. i want to help him, but not sure what are the next steps to take. | how do i help my socially awkward brother make friends? | 6bf4eq | are there any places in your community / state that offer services for individuals with developmental disabilities? here in ma, i usually suggest people get neuropsychological evaluations through some local hospitals to clarify diagnoses, and there are many supports in the community for people who have needs like your brother. how old is your brother? would therapy or a mentor help? | needadvice | 6bf4eq |
long story i met my boyfriend at work and we hit it off almost immediately. he has a good job, just got his own place and his own vehicle, and really seems like he has it all together. i felt a spark with him i'd never felt before, and i was sure this was going to be the solid relationship i was looking for. but we have one major problem. anytime i ask him to do anything with me, he will cancel last minute saying that he is busy with something. and i mean every single time. last week i actually broke up with him for a day because he agreed to come to my mom's house to come swimming with me but i never received another text from him until late that night when i was headed home. he didn't even give me a reason that time, he just left me by myself and to me that was inexcusable. the next day i met him to receive some of my stuff and he apologized and admitted what he did was wrong so i gave him another chance, even though i was still angry when i learned that he didn't come because he was weed eating his yard. wth??? well, this memorial day, i figured we were going to finally be able to do something together because he was off work. when i asked him if we could see each other, he said that he was busy cooking with his landlord's family and he couldn't come over to my house because his car was blocked in. i called him, very hurt and confused as to why this was happening for the fifteenth time in a row. frustrated, i told him that he needed to plan for a day just for the two of us and to tell everyone else that he already has plans for that day because i was so tired of him cancelling every single time in a two month period. he got angry about that, saying that i sounded just like his narcissistic parents and i was demanding too much of him, and pretty much said he needed a break for about two days. i don't get it. it feels like we've already been on a break for the past two months. he does visit me at work sometimes, and when we are together everything is great but this is so ridiculous! it's so frustrating because it's a simple solution to a simple problem. i've done everything from giving him gas money and surprising him with a heating pad when he was complaining about his back pain to always being there when he needs to talk about something. i've done everything i possibly can to resolve this issue but i don't know what else to do. i love him and he's a good man, i just don't know where to go from here. this is really damaging our relationship. please, advice anyone??? | i'm [22/f] really confused about a simple problem i'm having with my boyfriend [25/m]: he never asks me to go anywhere with him and if i ask him out somewhere he is always busy | 6edhu1 | i wouldn't call him a bf. | relationship_advice | 6edhu1 |
i can't stand it when the stereo/tv volume, thermostat setting, or cooking time for a food is an odd number. please share something about yourself! | quirk alert!: i h-a-t-e odd numbers. respond with one of your quirks! | v439f | this thread has confirmed it for me. aspies have some of the most interesting personalities in the world... | aspergers | v439f |
i'm almost 19, male and i suffer numerous mood issues such as anger, depression and anxiety. i also suffer dysphoria which i task testosterone for and have been on the drug for three months now. back in september of 2017 i decided to take handle of my mental health. in the past therapy didnt help so i knew that wasn't an option. in the beginning of sept i was 190 pounds. i then started a cocktail of different drugs in hope one would work. i ended up on prozac until may of 2018. in that time i gained 70 pounds. i knew weight gain was a side effect but no one ever told me id gain this much weight in such little time. i told my at the time psychiatrist my problem and he told me there was nothing i or he could do about it. however, because i was also suffering suicidal thoughts on prozac he switched me to effexor/venlafaxine in may of 2018. i've been tracking my food intake for the past 6 months and i try to go to the gym daily. i have the overall calorie intake of around 1,800. i've talked to numerous doctors about my weight gain and none can give me any advice or help. a month ago one doctor decided to take me off effexor completely. i've yet to see any change in my weight. my mood and depression particularly has been off the charts since i stopped my medication. every doctor i've seen recently wants to point fingers at my testosterone yet i've only been on it three months. my options shouldn't be to either be happy and fat or miserable and mentally unstable. i know this has been a long story time however. the reason i bring this to reddit is in hope someone can point me in the right direction and give me some quality advice. so doctor's of reddit what should i do? is there a specialist i should be seeing? am i just screwed? | i gained 70 pounds while on antidepressants. | ajcdla | prozac is associated with a small weight gain, not a third of your body weight. effexor isn't associated with weight gain. unless there is other medication in the mix that you haven't mentioned, neither of these make sense to me. additionally, a lot of people gain weight with no medication, although that much, that quickly is rare. 1800 calories per day is usually not enough to maintain a weight of 260 lbs. as usual, a primary care doctor would be a good first person to discuss with, and a referral to a dietician might be helpful both for accurate assessment of nutritional intake and making a plan for weight loss. | askdocs | ajcdla |
i feel like my resolve to stay alive is slipping. i've been in a pretty dark state of mind the past couple of weeks and i feel numb and exhausted my life is not complicated or hard it seems rather simple but i can't bare it. i feel weak and inferior in every aspect of my life. i know none of you can solve my problems that i only can i just want to. the problem is i don't want to. i want to slip away into nothingness. i am white tall male attorney living in the usa why the fuck do i feel like this? how do not feel like this. i said before i don't want to solve my problems it's more that i do but i have this dark mindset that i know if i try that i will fail. i can't tell if i'm whining or sulking and just need to shut the fuck up. i feel very alone. | i'm not strong | 6stxbs | considering talking to a therapist. it sounds like you're depressed and it's going to take changing around a lot of things to break you out of it. one of the things i've learned from personal and professional experience is that when you're in the throws of depression, you yourself are usually not the best judge of your life in the moment. it can really help to have an objective take, someone who doesn't know you or anyone you know, and who's sole purpose is to help you. let me know if you have any questions on how to get connected (if you're in the u.s.) | mentalhealth | 6stxbs |
hey guys! this is my first post here, wich i'm afraid may be a bit rant-ish, vent-ish, but, at the same time, i'm looking forward to hearing your experiences and, of course, any piece of advice and/or motivation will be great! anyway, here's my story: some months ago me and my ex-gf decided to end our relationship for good. from that moment on, i realized how much i isolated myself from the world. during those two years of relationship, i devoted myself almost entirely to her. talked to her everyday, and went out on dates pretty much every week. it's not surprising that i walked away from my friends, and i wasn't that interested in making new ones in uni. i just went to lectures, and came back home...for the last four years. today, i'm about to finish uni, and i feel like i made nothing out of my social life. when i walk through campus, sometimes i bump into some "friends", we chat, and i feel good. but once i come back home, it hits me again. this feeling of "i have no friends". i say "friends" because, although they seem to like me, they not call me, or say "hey, let's get some beers!" or something. maybe they're just dealing with their own stuff but, i don't know, i tend to overthink about this from time to time. for a long time i thought i was the introverted type, but recently i realized i was just trying to force a label on me. i actually have fun when i have the chance to get out for drinks, parties, and, let's call it, all the "normie" stuff, although i also enjoy reading, writing, and playing videogames, wich are more "lonely" activities. i've been struggling, on one hand, with the loss of my ex, and on the other, with rebuilding my life. i've made progress on the first one, but on the second, i feel stuck. like i said, i'm about to finish uni, and i'm wondering where the heck to make new friends. good ones. i'm trying to recover the old friendships (wich i can't see quite often since they're older than me, and they just have their own life, jobs, trips, etc)., wich is fine, but i want to feel i have a social life besides them. i want to go out, have drinks, attend to parties, or just fool around for the sake of the sake. and i know pitying myself for feeling lonely or for having thrown my life to the trash can because of a relationship gets me nowhere. i think i'm not that kind of type anymore. i want to work for this, and, maybe, with time, come back here and tell you guys how i got myself out of the hole i voluntarily thrown myself into years ago. and this is it. what do you guys think? what is your advice? how do i start? what's your story? i really hope any of you guys can relate to what i just typed, and hopefully, come up with a success story. i just want to feel it's not just me who's dealing with a similar situation. thanks in advance, and hope to hear from you soon! cheers! | trying to rebuild my life (a bit of a long read) | 9kqvm5 | it's never too late. although 2 of my 3 best friends i made in college (the other i grew up with) many of my close friends i didn't meet until after college when i moved to a large city. i found other guys that were around my age that lived close by that were also new to the city, we exchanged numbers and started hanging out, going to bars together, playing video games, etc. when it comes to those acquaintances that you have make sure that you're putting in a good amount of effort up front. don't wait for them to call you or invite you to go to a bar or to hang out. invite them. you may have gotten into a bad habit being in the relationship and getting so enmeshed that for a long time you didn't have to really put any effort in because what you would be doing socially was just habit. when it comes to making friends you have to put yourself out there and not wait for your acquaintances to contact you or invite you hang out. you may find the rare person or two that will always be reaching out to you, but most folks are going to wait to make sure you're willing to put in the effort too before they start. some folks may become good friends, but just the type of people where you're going to have to do most of the planning or inviting. | socialskills | 9kqvm5 |
y'all... doctors drive me nuts. i've gone to a gyno, endo, and gp to get some understanding of my trouble with weight loss and no one's really said anything aside from offering me surgery or diet pills, neither of which i'm interested in. not one mention of potential metabolic slowdown. not many studies on it either! almost everything is pregnancy-related or metformin-related. i've done my research over the last 2 yrs and demanded tests -- my thyroid is fine and i'm not insulin resistant. i'm not diabetic or pre-diabetic; my cholesterol and insulin and blood pressure are all fantastic. aside from asthma and elevated testosterone/dhea, i'm in absolutely perfect health. i'm just fat. 220lbs, 48% body fat, 5'3. but through trial and error i've discovered my bmr is only about 1400 (compare to non-pcos people my size who are at about 1750-1800). that makes my tdee somewhere around 1600, maybe 1700 with exercise. of course my doctors have not kept up with the literature and assume that since i'm fat, the problem is in my behavior, but i don't binge eat, i track macros and calories, and i exercise (well...usually) -- i just didn't know until recently that my bmr was so low. no one ever told me that was possible without insulin resistance. and no one really offers treatment aside from a vague suggestion of "lose 20% body weight" (but they love to still blame you if you're fat lol). i had gotten down from 215 to 200 last summer on my own with just 1600ish calories and lots of crossfit, but started to stall. coaches suggested i bump up my calories to like 1900 (none of us realizing pcos could cause metabolic slowdown), and lo and behold: i stalled and then gained. and fast. 10lbs in about a month and a half. i got mad and discouraged, spiraled into a bad depression, which i'm only just now pulling out of. and regained 20lbs lol. so. those of you who have lost weight and are not insulin resistant: - *besides keto*, what has worked for you? - how long did it take you? - how are you doing maintaining what you've lost? - what about side effects from low calories -- how are you managing with that? i'm eating about 1300-1500 calories a day with intermittent fasting, down from 1600-1800 which apparently just let me maintain. max of 100g carbs, mostly from vegetables, fruit, whole grain bread, some potato, or small amts of pasta or rice. protein is at 100-110g to maintain my muscle, and the rest is fats. i drink 70+ oz of water daily. i take: - fish oil - vitamin d - a multivitamin - niacinamide - nac - inositol (mix of myo and d-chiro) - breo + albuterol for asthma management - and am on the nexplanon implant for birth control i've resumed lifting weights 3-4 times a week (following strong curves), plus resumed crossfit 2-3x/week for cardio. i'm currently sick and on my period (my first in like...6 months lol), so i can't really evaluate how much weight i've lost since early jan, but last week i was at 216. yesterday, 218. who knows. does that sound like it'll help? anyone else in this special non-insulin-resistant hell with me? (i'm still really mad doctors care so little about us outside of producing babies... like... the net caloric intake is 1000 or less, which is less than what small children eat, and it's totally messed up that no one is concerned we have to go to such unhealthy lengths to lose weight even if we're, you know... healthy... and not to mention the other symptoms -- pain, brain fog, fatigue... no one cares. it's wild. but that's a different post i guess) (if you want to say "but keto" or "keto is the only way", it's not. i like potatoes. i like stacking my eggs on a nice buttered whole grain piece of toast. i like fruit in the summer. i'm gonna have fruit. i'm eating a banana right now as you're reading this.) | metabolisms, pcos, and weight loss | anttju | yes! i'm blessed to have found my way to a nutritionist who measured my metabolism. i burn 57% of what i should. anyone would get fat if they ate almost twice as many calories as they needed for any period of time. | pcos | anttju |
my girlfriend is 22, 5'9", 105lbs and native american. she has anxiety. it can get pretty bad especially in social places like bars or pubs for example and especially when it comes to meeting new people. she has been on quetiapine for 17 years now. she uses it mainly as a sleep aid. she said it's supposed to help her anxiety a bit as well. her family doctor moved and now the clinic keeps tabs on her refills. if she doesn't have her pill before bed she cannot sleep. she has become dependent on it. she tried to ween off of them but went through bad withdrawals. she doesn't suffer from depression, schizophrenia or bi polar disorders. the advice i need is if there are any more medications out there that could help with her anxiety and sleep aid? xanax being one i've looked into? how would one ween off of the pill without serious withdrawals? she has no family doctor and the hospital here has no more opening for patients under family doctors and when she goes to see a random one they say they can't help her because they aren't her doctor. also what are the long term effects of being on quetiapine as long as her and more years to come. she has a 3 year old that loves her and a boyfriend that does as well. we need her around for as long as possible. she's open to the suggestion of trying different sleep aids but doesn't want to go through the withdrawals again. any advice would be much appreciated, thanks for taking the tune to read. posted on mobile btw so did the best i could. | need some advice for my girlfriend about a prescription medication. | 9srtzo | quetiapine is not a standard first-line sleeping pill or a standard first-line treatment for anxiety. there are many other medications for both problems. weaning depends on what dose she's on; in general it's safe, though sometimes uncomfortable, to just stop suddenly, with one major side effect unsurprisingly being insomnia. long-term effects aren't as well studied, especially at the very low doses typically used for sleep. quetiapine has an association with weight gain, metabolic syndrome, and associated problems like diabetes and high cholesterol, but again, that's usually seen at higher doses. xanax is not a medication that i would recommend first for the problems your girlfriend has. it might be on the list, but it's close to the bottom, and i don't know if i'd put it before or after quetiapine. xanax is much more physiologically and psychologically dependence-forming and has higher abuse potential. | askdocs | 9srtzo |
age: 20 sex: f height: 5'10 weight: 125 race: white duration of complaint: anxiety and adhd for years location: mental health existing issues: adhd, panic disorder, gad, current medications: vyvanse 40mg daily (will explain new prescriptions) i will try to make this as brief as possible. i have been on vyvanse 40mg for almost two years now with great success to manage my adhd and some anxiety, but have had to switch doctors due to an insurance problem. today, i had a visit with a new psychiatrist, and was planning on mentioning the worsening of my anxiety recently. my anxiety is usually tolerable with just vyvanse, however, about once a week i have a really bad day with it. i specifically told this guy that my anxiety is usually a 2 or 3 on a scale of 10 everyday, and when its bad, it gets up to a 6 or 7. i also explained that my vyvanse only works for about 3/4 hours for me which is usually fine, but it does wear off rather quickly. here are the symptoms i explained to him: -trouble focusing in school, work, social settings -horrible short term memory -can't remain organized -incapable of making fairly easy decisions -zoning off when making a conscious effort to focus -easily frustrated -flinchy/cannot sit still -constant fear of the worst (in regards to my health typically) -spending hours online searching for what is wrong with me -dizziness (when panicking)-guilt -impending doom (when panicking) after about 30 minutes of explaining my symptoms and small conversation, without asking for my input, i walked out of this guys office with 4 scripts. the new medications are as follows. - 40mg vyvanse daily - 5mg ritalin 1/2 tablets at 3pm - 100mg gabapentin 3 times daily for first week, then 2 pills 3 times daily afterward - 1mg xanax 1-2 times daily this seems like a ton of medication, up to 8 pills a day. plus, clearly some of them have a high potential for abuse. was i overprescribed? should i actually take all of these as directed? or should i just pick and choose what i take? i don't have the time or money to go find a new psychiatrist that is covered by my insurance, and it took 2 months to get into this guy. any advice would be greatly appreciated. | am i overprescribed psychiatric medications? | bpludg | we can't know what the psychiatrist was thinking or why, but i also have concerns about this. not so much the number of pills; that's just a result of gabapentin being multiple times per day (because it has a short half-life) and taking two of a small dose instead of one tablet of a larger dose. starting from the top: adding a short-acting stimulant, such as ritalin, to a long-acting stimulant for when it wears off in the afternoon is at least a common practice. you can try it, and if it doesn't help or isn't necessary you don't need to stick with it. neither gabapentin nor xanax are first-line treatment for anxiety. gabapentin gets used because it's seen as safe. xanax has abuse potential, but it also has rebound anxiety potential and can end up causing more problems than it solves. not for everyone, of course, but there also seems to be a mismatch and how you perceive your anxiety (present, but not so bad) and how the psychiatrist perceives it (needs multiple medications). plus there's no standard anxiety treatment in there like an ssri, snri, or buspirone. one thing that's critical for working with any doctor, and perhaps especially psychiatrists, is talking about your concerns about medications. you always have the freedom to not take things, but if you're not communicating that clearly with your doctor then treatment is going to be stymied by misunderstandings. | askdocs | bpludg |
i (f 27) have been with my boyfriend(m 28) for 6 years and he keeps saying he wants me to be his wife, has been looking at rings and wants to get engaged with me but...nothing has happened. around two months into the relationship he already said he wants to marry me. i was not ready but now that i am nothing has happened. this is so draining that i sometimes want to break up and leave..and. just be single so i would not have to expect anything. i still love him. am i crazy for wanting to break up just cause i don't want to have my expectations not lived up to anymore? thing is, if he had never been so adamant about the need to get married i wouldn't care either. tl:dr : boyfriend has been vocal about wanting to get married since 2 months into the relationship and we have now been together for 6 years. he has not yet proposed and i'm tired of waiting for it. i kind of want to break up because not having expectations met sucks. what are your thoughts? | am i crazy for expecting engagement? its been 6 years | 77y7c4 | if marriage is what someone wants, it should happen within 2 yrs tops | relationship_advice | 77y7c4 |
thank you infinitely to the people here who told me to go to aa. i was scared to go because of my social anxiety. i was also afraid they would just tell me i need christianity. i am so thankful i listened to you and went. the people there have been nothing but accepting of my queer drunk ass. since i started going 54 days ago i have finally been able to stay sober and learn about why i feel the need to drink in the first place. my fear of social situations is big part of my drinking. attending these meetings has taught me that isolation is my enemy and will drive me to drink. i could not have kept myself from drinking this long by myself. and i know i will not be able to keep sober alone. thank you for being here when i needed you. thank you for helping me. i will not drink with you today. | thank you for telling me to go to aa (54 days!) | 96lqv8 | i went to my first aa meeting on october 27, 1978 and met a guy who said, “look you are an expert at getting drunk and high, we are experts at staying sober and there are all different kinds of people here. if you want to stop drinking you’re in the right place. we stay sober by helping each other stay sober.” he gave me his phone number and said “call me if you feel like drinking and i’ll try to talk you out of it.” i went home and my girlfriend, who told me to go to aa still did not want me to sleep with her. i felt terrible because i had not gone to sleep sober for years. after tossing and turning i called that guy at 1:30 in the morning and told him i was thinking of going to the bar down the street so i could get some sleep. he kept me on the phone until 2am and said look the bars are closed let’s meet at the meeting tomorrow. i fell a sleep and the next day i went to he meeting and i’ve been sober ever since. i still go to meetings a few times a week and i’m still able to think that the people there are special and are doing something wonderful. | stopdrinking | 96lqv8 |
after so many years of self doubting, and my mom telling me it was a waste of time and money, that mental illnesses aren't real and that they're "just a phase", today i was able to go and talk to my school's therapist, thanks to a little push from my friends. i still feel as if i'm dreaming and this is all just my imagination, i never thought i would ever be able to talk to somebody about my issues, and i'm so glad i did. she told me to go back next week, and that she wants us to work together in getting me better. i'm extremely excited! i finally did it!!! this is the first step on my journey to a healthier life!!! | today i finally went to my school's therapist. | atdqhj | also a therapist, and have been in therapy over the years myself. you can and will get better! you don’t have to suffer. doing my own therapy and having therapists who were dedicated to helping me is what inspired me to become a therapist and give back in a meaningful way. i wish you the best of luck! | offmychest | atdqhj |
hey, um, this might be graphic and so i'll nsfw it as soon as i post it as a trigger warning. i'll tw for emotional and sexual abuse, before we get any further. i was with a girl for two and a half years, and let's call her the rock because that's funny and it'll maybe make the story easier to tell. our relationship was fun at first - you know, declarations of love, thoughts of children. we definitely dove into it too fast. i had known her for two years beforehand, though, and thought i knew what i was getting into. she had talked previously about her terrible past relationships, and i was assured that i would be different, because i 'knew' she was good. then.. it got bad. over time, i started to wear on her. i didn't do anything the way she liked and she constantly reminded me of this. she would yell, and we took breaks.. jesus, i don't even know, dozens and dozens of times. they only lasted for a day, however, as we were, i now realise, codependent. our relationship went downhill past about the first year. she loved her family, which i admired, but she did at the expense of everyone else, including me. if i didn't want to do something with her family, or if i even politely gave a differing opinion, i could and would be bullied for it. see, in retrospect i just feel like a p*ssy. (censoring that in case anyone's affected, i'm just trying to think ahead.) that was a long-running theme in our relationship - what she wanted mattered more than what i wanted. her letting me do what i wanted was seen as her giving me a gift, and i felt the need to ask for everything. half of the time when i did i'd get a 'how could you do that, you don't know me, you don't know who i am' and half of the time i got a 'well duh, you can do what you want.' and the thing is, as she did this to me, at the same time she reinforced the idea that i was weak. my kindness, what she had said had made me so beautiful in her eyes at the beginning, my soft heart, was now too soft. she wanted to live a fast life, a dark life, and i wanted to sit in the garden and read a book, and that wasn't okay, and we couldn't do it because she didn't want to and i didn't know what to do without her and thought i loved her. she screamed at me in the final months of the relationship for not having memorised the layout of her kitchen. every time i visited her, i would be stepping on eggshells and then i would somehow slip the tiniest thing, and she would scream, and she would make me feel bad, and she would tell me that she wanted me to feel bad, and say that i was the source of her issues. and then, in an hour, she would say that i was lovely, and that she loved me. this extended to our sex life. we were teenagers, and so we should have used condoms, and i said, repeatedly, that we should use condoms, but she couldn't be bothered, and i caved in. like most things, it was all about her - sex was, essentially, me thinking of cats and brick walls and other stupid shit to stop myself from cumming too fast. otherwise, if i did come too fast, she would cry, say that i should have masturbated earlier, and, at one point, hit me. she told me that she could only cum by thinking about other men who didn't love her. i understandably did not know how to process this. i felt sexually weak and impotent and this did not bode well for my libido and so the issue only worsened. she blamed me for her body issues. at this point i started to become obsessively sexually attracted to other people. in retrospect i think my subconscious was telling me that i needed to get out. i am naturally, and i now know this, completely monogamous. i went and had sex with a man, as i'm bisexual, and it was a pretty awful experience. in the last months of our relationship i almost arranged to meet and have sex with random girls because.. because i was obsessed with the idea. she knew about all of this, and she reminded me constantly of how much it effected her. for at least a year and a half, a dark cloud hung over my life, honestly. my parents accidentally insulted her at my sister's wedding and she refused to see them for the entire rest of the relationship. she made me choose between her or them, and, of course, i chose her. now i am in a relationship with a beautiful boy who loves me very much and i love him very much. i am very attracted to him, sexually and otherwise, but i often find myself unable to be touched. if anything goes wrong, sexually, i want to cease to exist, and a lot of the time, i'm not able to do it out of sheer anxiety. i used to be a very soft person, and i hope i'm still kind, but now i'm quicker to anger, and i don't want to become an abuser. basically... was i abused? does that sound like something an abused person would say? i feel like i have the symptoms of ptsd. this is a super long post, i'm sorry. all the best to anyone who reads this. | can i please take opinions on whether i was abused or not because i don't trust myself enough. | 5pw5m6 | yes, she was definitely abusive. it sounds like you have symptoms of complex ptsd. i'm so happy for you that you're in what sounds like a loving relationship now. please start working with a therapist that specializes in trauma if at all possible. good luck to you. | ptsd | 5pw5m6 |
the more beautifully sincere and close to me they are, the more it hurts. strangely the pain is all in my chest and in my heart. it’s like the physical discomfort of anxiety and sadness without actually feeling those emotions. as for my emotional response, i guess i feel speechless and kind of happy in a worried way. does anybody else experience this, or is there an explanation? | it physically hurts when people are nice to me, but it doesn’t emotionally hurt | a6p9p7 | i highly recommend you read the body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk. it explains in beautiful detail why these sorts of things happen after experiencing trauma. the mind-body connection that occurs during and after traumatic experiences is absolutely fascinating. (i have no association with the author, i just really loved the book and found it enlightening and approachable for non-professionals) | ptsd | a6p9p7 |
okay so this guy i like is 19 and he's weird and quirky but totally adorable but he keeps asking me to hang out at night and when we do we literally sit in his car and listen to music and occasionally talk. he never even tries to do anything. tonight he was like being flirty and he was randomly like "is it true tall blonde girls like to cuddle?" and i was like haha sure, thinking like finally he likes me. but then we got in his backseat, cute music was playing, and i rested my head on his shoulder it was the most awkward thing in the world. then after like 20 minutes he was like okay well thanks for joining me. i was fuming while he drove me home. should i say something, tell him i like him or drop it i mean what the hell. help | i am begging you. tell me what to do. | 1a4j4o | he is super socially awkward. you will have to be direct with him. | relationship_advice | 1a4j4o |
just wondering if anyone else struggled with junk food after getting sober. been sober over 8 months but i feel like i’ve developed and worsened an addiction to crappy food. it’s gotten real bad and is impacting my health both physically and emotionally. i’m grateful to be sober but i’m not taking care of myself and was wondering if anyone else struggles with their health, replacing booze with pizza sugar and fast food. could really use that support. | replacing booze with crappy food | dz2bmn | a bit poppy, but helps explain why the brain seeks other sources for dopamine when we remove alcohol. it's an addiction transfer, yes but one that's less destructive and not as multi faceted. WEBLINK | stopdrinking | dz2bmn |
i've always been interested in nuclear energy and its possibilities. in my early 20s i started studying toward it but i was more interested in partying and hanging out than applying myself. i failed out of school and never went back. now i'm in my thirties, i have two kids and i'd put my old dreams out of my mind. i got a workshop education and i'm a train mechanic now. i listen to a lot of audiobooks in my headphones at work, and listened "atomic awakening," which reminded me strongly of my old dreams. it made me sad that i'd missed my chance to chase them. next on my list was "being mortal," a book aimed at how society treats end-of-life care and maximizing quality of life over extension of life. i realised that i have 35 or more years of productive life left. my dreams are so attainable still. suddenly i'm filled with ambition and motivation. it's electric. i could have my masters degree in 6-7 years and it feels *attainable* in a way it never had to me before. i'm enrolled in my first term of prerequisites and tested out of two terms of them by studying hard and passing tests. when i failed before i wanted the spoils of war but had no plan for the battles. now i'm relishing the battles ahead. i am a clever problem-solver but i classically burn out on goals quickly. i'm looking for how to actually draw out my ambition and motivation. any ideas? | [discussion] i've never felt so motivated and ambitious in my whole life. how do i sustain this wave through the years it will take to reach my goal? | 65562j | motivation is fleeting, discipline lasts longer. use your motivation and energy now to plan out a practical route to your goal. draw it out, on paper. mark dates for when you will complete a class, when youll be halfway, when you are aiming to have a master's. it doesn't have to be exact, in fact it will probably change in the 6-7 years. but for now just say "i will have my masters degree in may 2024" or whatever month you choose. now your goal is real and it's coming up sooner than you think. the most important thing to do to gain discipline is to establish a routine. do something every day to push yourself towards your goal. since you're taking classes, that something should prolly be studying. every day set aside at least an hour. that is your study hour. do not ever have a "zero day" where you do nothing that pushed you towards your goal. every day look back on yourself and say "i did this because 10 years from now i will be in the field i love and this helped the future me get there". identify some thing every day that helped you. make a habit of it so that when you do burn out, you're pushing forward anyway. | getmotivated | 65562j |
so i'm in grade 12 and i finally asked who i liked out, and for prom. it's the second day we are dating and we kept it on the low down (test the waters first) and i am wondering if texting her everyday i.e. after school about meeting up or something is too much? also any advice in general is welcome this is my first relationship edit: had to do it on a throwaway cuz my friends know my main account, also is it too soon to start saying good morning and good night cuz i already did that e.e? | first relationship | 67pqgs | that's fine. by asking, you can find out where she's at... | relationship_advice | 67pqgs |
23 years old, male, 5'9, 177lbs, white, on-going depression/anxiety for the last 2-3 years. ​ for the time that i have had my depression and anxiety issues i have tried to stay away from the medication route, as i would've preferred to pursue alternative treatments before taking medication. for the past 14 months i have had cbt to try and resolve any underlying issues, however, around 6-8 weeks ago my mental health became very difficult to manage. i booked myself a doctors appointment and was willing to try medication for the first time to help me. the doctor prescribed me 15mg of mirtazapine, not only to help with my depression and anxiety, but to help with my insomnia too. ​ the mirtazapine helped enormously with my insomnia, and within 1-2 weeks it had really improved my depression and anxiety, which was very relieving! as time went on, the effects became a lot less noticable, and although it had improved my sleeping pattern, i began to feel more and more tired throughout the day, despite having 8-10+hour sleeps. in addition, (although i realised my weight/appetite would increase) i gained 15-20lbs in the 6-8 week period. whilst taking the medication, my eating habits were very well in-control and i had increased the amount of exercise i was doing, and yet i was still gaining weight faster than i have ever done before. ​ because this is the first form of medication i have taken for mental health, i thought i would make a doctors appointment to see if there were any alternatives that wouldn't drastically increase my weight and wouldn't knock me out as much as mirtazapine did. ​ the doctor prescribed me 50mg of sertraline. i was told that if i wanted to, i could stop the mirtazapine straight away without having to taper down and i could start the sertraline straight away too. and/or i could use the mirtazapine in 7.5mg doses to help possible insomnia that may be brought on by the sertraline. as well, the doctor said that if the side effects of the sertraline are a little too much to begin with, i can reduce the dose to 25mg per day. ​ i'm a little concerned, because everything i've read says you should taper down to avoid any possible withdrawal symptoms. the doctor seemed very relaxed about when to start/stop taking medications, and also the doses in which i should be taking these medications. ​ ultimately, my questions are: would it be ok for me to stop taking the mirtazapine straight away and start with sertraline? are there any issues with taking setraline and mirtazapine together? if there's the potential for the sertraline side effects to be too much at 50mg, would it be more sensible to start at 25mg and increase after a period of time? ​ thank you! | stopping mirtazapine and starting sertraline | cx37da | your doctor is giving you options that make sense maybe without enough explanation. 50 mg sertraline is a reasonable starting dose. you could also start at 25 mg, but that's usually too low a dose to be effective and 50 mg usually has no or only mild side effects that go away after a few days. it's usually fine to stop mirtazapine, but going down for a few days and then stopping would be extra cautious. you could also take both medications together safely at higher doses of both than you're currently on. one oddity of mirtazapine is that sedation and weight gain are more significant at lower doses than higher doses. switching to sertraline makes sense, but it also can sometimes be counter-intuitively more tolerable when you take more. | askdocs | cx37da |
i found him last night in his room. he was incoherent and mostly unresponsive. he oded some time while i was at work on sunday. he's in the hospital now, still pretty out of it. if he comes back, what can i do to help him? i had no idea things were this bad for him. his mother said he hasn't been taking his meds like he should. my plan is just to talk with him and listen to what he's got to say. is there anything else i can do? i want to be proactive in helping him get through this. he's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, and adhd. according to his mother, this is not his first attempt. | my roommate attempted suicide. i need help. | 2sb199 | suicide attempts can go many different ways. when he gets back, he may not want to talk. this is fine, you can communicate that you are there to talk to him if he ever needs it. perhaps he will want to talk, just to you. listen, do not offer advice. just be there, be human. if there is advice he wants perhaps discuss with him seeking some sort of help. at the very least a hotline of some sort. | mentalhealth | 2sb199 |
hello everyone, i am looking for a book on the subject of self acceptance, but they all seem to target woman or spiritual people. i am looking for an logical, honest, straight forward autor. i dont like spirituality, mindfulness, buddhiism. i just want to understand the logic behind self-acceptance. my therapist says i'm too hard on myself and i want to learn to accept myself, without having to read stuff like "look deep inside your heart to discover your true spiritual self" etc etc. thank you very much for your time, maxime. | do you know a non-spiritual self-acceptance book? | 6sn700 | nathaniel branden has some great stuff. i recommend the six pillars of self esteem. | selfhelp | 6sn700 |
i'm in a bad mood for a few reasons but they are reasons i am struggling to control. i'm in a crap mood and family is getting frustrated. if i take some time to myself they ask what's wrong and why am i moping. if i stay in the room, i nearly throw things. i don't know what to do. | what to do when you feel like you are pissing everyone off? | fmahjy | hahaha quarantoned. i should do something like that for sure. i just wish i could go out and do a walk but i get a thousand questions cause we are living in a tiny house with my in laws and you don't get a minute to yourself. | adhd | fmahjy |
i've been having a lot of trouble at work lately, and now another layer has been added. i work at a place where i'm one of four people who have the same job, and we all work together closely on a team. they're upset with me because they feel like i'm not accountable and they have to pick up my slack. they're probably right, honestly, because i've been such a fuckup at work this year. these people are my closest friends in an environment where i feel like shit is coming at me from all sides. now i feel like i have no one, and i feel worthless, and like i don't do anything right. these are the times that the little voice inside me starts telling me that a drink will fix this now. i also start low-key wanting to die when i get like this. i'm trying to tell myself that ordering pizza and reading my book is going to make me feel better than being drunk and emotional, but it's so hard. i hate everything. | it's hard to find a reason not to drink right now. | bope0o | if you pick up a drink it will not even make things better for a moment. you’ll immediately be filled with even more guilt and shame, and not only will your problems still be there, you will have more to deal with. hang in there. it’s always darkest before the dawn. things will get better if you allow them the time to do so. | stopdrinking | bope0o |
male 220 pounds 6 foot tall i am a 31 year old male and for the past 4-5 years, i’ve had chest tightness and shortness of breath. i’ve had every test under the sun since then. blood tests have all been normal. as far as cardiac goes, i’ve had ekg’s, holter monitors, stress tests, and echocardiograms. i’ve had ct’s of the chest to rule of pulmonary embolism. as far as pulmonary goes, i’ve had asthma tests and an x-ray to check the lungs and came back normal. i've been to an allergy md and been tested for numerous allergies and passed that. i’ve been to a rheumatologist who checked for ankylosing spondylitis and other autoimmune diseases, all of which came back normal (negative for ana and negative for specific genes in other specific autoimmune diseases). i’ve had an mri of my chest to check for inflammation and costochondritis, but that showed nothing abnormal. i’ve been a few gastros who have done an endoscopy and gastric emptying test. i barely passed the gastric emptying test but 2 doctors both said a diagnosis of gastroparesis is not made as i was still technically in the ‘normal’ range by a few minutes and that my symptoms do not line up with gastroparesis. so far, every doctor keeps coming back to anxiety causing the atypical chest pain and shortness of breath. can anxiety really cause this? sometimes i feel totally normal, happy and not a worry in the world and it will come on. it interferes with my job and quality of life and some days, i can't even concentrate because it feels like i'm going to pass out or collapse. it's also caused countless trips to the e.r (over 20 trips) in the past 4-5 years and nothing ever comes of it. very frustrated and confused. | mystery illness for past 5 years? frustrated | 4xfeqj | you might not be surprised by a psychiatrist saying this, but it could be anxiety. i've had patients in not dissimilar situations to you. you've got nothing to lose by trialling a treatment for anxiety - if it gets you better, then who cares what the cause is? [anxiety states](WEBLINK) | askdocs | 4xfeqj |
i read this interesting article about edward bernays, who is considered the father of public relations and the cousin of sigmund freud. what bernays did was apply freud's techniques to big business - "bernays liked to think of himself as kind of a psychoanalyst to troubled corporations" where he analyzed the psychological desires and motives of consumers, etc do therapists ever get contracted like this to perform this kind of psychoanalysis for businesses? | do therapists get contracted by businesses? | hiv170 | yep. i originally went to school for psychology because i read that psychologists helps design aspects of the disney parks. i went in another direction, but still find is fascinating. i know your question is more about the consumer end, but industrial and organizational psychology is a field fully dedicated to psychology in business and the workplace. | askatherapist | hiv170 |
title pretty much sums it up. how do you cope with those intense feelings of nostalgia from seeing or remembering something from a time passed, knowing that whatever that thing was, it'll never be that way again? does everyone's feelings of nostalgia hurt or is it me? | how do you cope with knowing all the good times you had are gone? | f5zmw1 | perspective and gratitude with a heavy dose of existentialism. while i won't pretend to have any real belief or knowledge of what happens when we die, gun to my head, i'd bet that it's just fade to black and that's it, so i basically think we get one life to live, try to make the most of it and find a way to make it as meaningful as we can to us. so many people aren't even lucky enough to have any really good times to look back on or their past really was hell and they'd do anything to not relive it. for us nostalgic folks, we wish we could relive it, but unfortunately we can't. i try to be grateful for the good things in the past while trying to make my present something i'll be nostalgic for in the future. | askatherapist | f5zmw1 |
anytime you try to make a real deep change in your life a meteor will hit your dog. don't ask me why, it'll just happen. oh, it might not be an actual meteor, and it might not be your dog, but something bad, unexpected, disheartening, etc etc will happen. and your addict brain? your addict brain is going to go, "fuck man! a meteor just hit my dog man! no one could have expected that. it's bad man, it's really bad. whelp ... i guess we just have to back to the thing we are addicted to. after all, we didn't plan to power through our addiction in the event that a meteor hit our dog. let's just indulge a little bit. just to get over how fucked up it is that a meteor hit our dog. then we can try again when life gets back to normal and doesn't throw us any more curve balls." what's my meteor? i've got a broken tooth. and it hurts like a mo-fo. went to the dentist, got it "fixed" but i'm still walling in a lot of physical pain right now (something i'm honestly not that good at handling). and my addict brain? it's 28 days booze free, the longest streak in at least a year, maybe two. it was (mostly) under control until the pain hit. and it has been screaming at me to drink to dull the pain. nice try brain. but i already planned ahead for a broken tooth. not a broken tooth-per say, but rather i mentally told myself that a meteor was going to hit my dog while i was getting clean. and that whatever form that meteor-hitting-dog-bad-luck took, i wasn't going to break down and give in. and that's what you've got to do. you've got to accept that life will absolutely throw you curve ball after curve ball while trying to get clean. doesn't matter if those balls hit you or not. never forget that your goal is to get to home plate. | what to do when a meteor hits your dog | 9sipev | great post. you might have saved my dog! | stopdrinking | 9sipev |
i come from a culture that does not recognize aspergers as a disorder or a disability, so i never got diagnosed as a child. i've taken every online test there is and signs indicate that i do have it. i have few friends, barely go out, and when i do, someone has to order food for me or ask sales staff questions on my behalf. i tend to focus a lot on small details. i'm good at math and work in it from home, and i have difficulty multitasking,but i can get a single job done quickly and fast, among other things. i'm 36, and this is just for myself because i've always felt that there was something wrong with me, and i would like an official diagnosis. i am going to the doctor on friday for something unrelated, do i ask him for a referral? how do i get diagnosed in canada? and how much would it cost me? (am willing to shell out a few hundred bucks but less than a thousand) | how do i get myself diagnosed with aspergers? (toronto) | 1h2ypy | also, asperger's would no longer be the correct diagnosis. it has been replaced by autism spectrum disorder (likely level 1). | aspergers | 1h2ypy |
maybe this is some bullshit coming out of me, but i do see a lot of asking for help so i would like to ask: how are you today? | dear therapists of reddit. | euudra | it was my birthday today. birthdays are a bit hard. i end up looking back over the years and some of the memories aren’t good ones, the good ones can make me sad too in that they make me long for those days and some bring up feelings of loss for loved ones that have passed away. my parents were here which was good to have people to spend my day with. also felt a bit lonely not having close friends near by anymore and not having any where i live now. also a bit disappointing and hurt by some people i thought were friends who knew it was my birthday, but they didn’t reach out with any messages. trying to be grateful for the few that did message me today, but it’s still hard to shake the sadness of feeling forgotten and unimportant. | askatherapist | euudra |
okay so i am 24 years old and i have had type 1 diabetes since i was 17. a few years ago i was hospitalized for ketoacidosis and i’m afraid i may be having similar symptoms as before. my back and stomach hurt constantly and i have random sharp pains in that area. i am always thirsty and pee constantly. i keep waking up every few hours if not every hour to pee when i sleep. now i am starting to stay nauseous though i haven’t thrown up yet (sorry tmi.) i noticed s rash on my back where the pain is coming from though the rash is itchy it’s not causing the pain. i feel super tired all of a sudden and i find it hard to breath some times though it’s not super hard to breathe. i don’t know if it’s my kidneys, my liver or just in my mind and these may all be coincidental. i’ve had all these problems before but last time when i went into ketoacidosis it was in the middle of the night and hit me out of no where. before when it happened i had a terrible night that night and was constantly throwing up and peeing and my back hurt so bad i was crying. that’s why i’m not sure if this is the same thing. i am going to the hospital later today anyway but i would like to know if any professionals on here think it’s that serious or am i being paranoid? thank you for your time! | i have diabetes and i am having pains where my kidneys are. could my kidneys be failing? | f5pqqc | this does not necessarily sound like kidney failure, but it is concerning for dka (ketoacidosis). you should go to the hospital now rather than later. | askdocs | f5pqqc |
it is often said that a therapist should not be a client's friend. the relationship should be more professional and the therapist should not disclose much about his/her personal life. why is this the case? what the pros and cons of a client-therapy relationship being more similar to a friendship? to me, a pro would be it could strengthen the relationship. the client would see that the therapist cares more and is move involved. the con would then be it could emotionally burn out the therapist if they're this involved in every client they see. therapy is a very emotionally intensive profession. | why isn't the client-therapist relationship more friend like? | gtj7vj | then why not just talk to your friends? the role of therapy meets a need not met in many friendships. | askatherapist | gtj7vj |
the fun part about ordering things online for me is that i frequently forget that i ordered something because my mind jumped to something else afterwards, so it is like i’m constantly getting surprise presents. 🤪 | ordering online and adhd | jp8x5z | i usually get so excited for what i bought i hyper focus on tracking the shipping lolol | adhd | jp8x5z |
i just want this shit to go away and let me live how i did before it came along... | i don't want to feel 'better' | 86k1oe | i think having anxiety is like being over weight. after you start, it's not just going to go away, but once you change your life enough and make it a routine, you will be able to maintain the life you want to have. a "diet" maybe will consist of real restrictions like social media, phone screen time, job type and alcohol consumption, but it's still achievable and after a while, it's actually normal. i haven't had a debilitating panic attack in 4 years and most days never think about it. yes it's still something that hangs around, but so does my flabby stomach, so i know i'm still able to do more if necessary. | anxiety | 86k1oe |
hi, guys. last night, my mother and i watched [this episode](WEBLINK) of david suzuki's *the nature of things* on autism and a new theory that autism is caused by neurotoxin producing gut-bacteria. now that she's seen it, my mother is pushing me to take an antibiotic called acidophilus which (according to the program) is supposed to kill this bacteria, in the hopes that it will alleviate some of my social issues related to my aspergers. i'm really not sure how i feel about this. my mom has always been supportive (she was the one that noticed my symptoms and suggested that i get tested), but i feel like she's hoping that this antibiotic will "cure" me. i'm fine with who i am but i don't want anybody to treat me as though i have a mental illness that can be cured. has anybody else had a similar experience? what are your thoughts on the theory? i'm open to hearing any thoughts and opinions you guys have. | my mom wants me to take a (supposedly) autism-allieving antibiotic? | xmz2n | ask your mom to become educated about autism: i bought everyone in my family a copy of this book, and when i told them i had autism, i told them the best thing they could do for me was to read this: WEBLINK i am not claiming that this is the perfect book, but it is thorough, and learning about and understanding your loved one is often the best thing you can do for them. | aspergers | xmz2n |
i've suffered from ocd since being diagnosed when i was 8 years old. i have primarily sexual obsessions, with most of my compulsions being mental nowadays. i worry if i'm having an urge or an intrusive thought sometimes, and i was wondering what the difference was. for example, if i'm talking to someone i'm not attracted to at all, and i picture myself kissing them and am totally repulsed, i do not know if it is a thought or an urge, due to them being right in front of me. it's stressing regardless as i would never want to act on this as it's disgusting to me, but i was wondering what the difference was and if anyone has experienced this? thanks! | how do you know the difference between a thought or an urge? | 5sc8gh | you experienced a thought, most likely. urges are the pull to follow through on the thought. remember, just because you feel an urge doesnt mean you have to do it, or that you truly want to do it, or that it reflects anything about you. accept both thoughts and urges as the thing you are experiencing, and wait for them to pass. | ocd | 5sc8gh |
- age: 36 - male - 160 cm - 67 kg - white - germany - never had something like this before. so, since almost 3 weeks i feel a light dizzyness every few minutes to every half hour. only lasts about 3-5 seconds and then it's gone again, feels a bit like being lightly drunk (1 beer or so). since the same 3 weeks i sometimes have trouble speaking correctly, i speak slightly unclear, also as if i'm a bit drunk. this mainly happens when the dizziness comes, but even without it it is there almost constantly and i have to concentrate really hard on talking. i've been at an hno (ear, nose, throat doctor, sorry don't know the translation), at a "normal" doctor and at a neurologist. none have found anything yet. an mrt is scheduled for in 3 weeks, and since i don't seem as an emergency to them i have to wait that long. i can endure my usual day more or less, i just have to watch out when talking to customers because i don't want to sound silly/drunk, and i have to concentrate when driving because of the dizzyness. other than that a more or less normal day is possible. i stopped riding my motorcycle because i don't think i should ride right now. i am going on holiday in 3 days for 2 weeks, and will be driving our camper van around for a few thousand km. i really don't want to cancel it. anyone got an idea what it could be? my obvious fear is a nearing stroke or some sort of brain tumor. am i overexaggerating? will i just fall over and be dead during my holiday? | problems speaking correctly, lightly dizzy (xpost from r/medical) | 52ra6m | i don't think you're overreacting by thinking of the diagnoses you mentioned, but hopefully it's nothing sinister. sounds like you have seen the right people though and id keep following the advice (and timescales) already in place. good luck :) | askdocs | 52ra6m |
in the early hours this morning my little cousin took his own life after being cleared by 2 different psychiatric doctors. i'm seething. this has been covered up. we are in the process of gathering as much information as we can about the places he was kept in. apparently a suicide note isn't enough to get someone sectioned these days. good old nhs. | my cousin was failed by the mental health services in the uk. | da2oc9 | speaking as a uk shrink myself, do you feel able to give context? only if youre up to doing so, of course. | mentalhealth | da2oc9 |
i’m an introvert, but there are still times when the idea of going out on a saturday night sounds more appealing than staying home playing stardew valley. however i’ve noticed that when i do go out, i don’t speak to anyone. last saturday night was one of these nights. i went downtown and ended up going to two bars, but both times i just sat alone, people-watching and eavesdropping on other conversations. other than the bartenders, i literally didn’t say one word to anyone. it’s not like i’m depressed, sitting there just wishing i was the kind of person these people would want to talk to. i just find it super awkward to try to start a conversation with a stranger unless i’m given an extremely obvious in. i left with a kind of “well better luck next time” kind of attitude, but deep down i know nothing will change unless i do. how do the rest of you deal with this? | whenever i go out alone, i never talk to anyone. | 9ixagu | i experience this sometimes. not as often as i used to. i'm an extreme extrovert, but also one with social anxiety. i prefer to be out talking to people and having conversations with groups, working the room so to say. in fact i'd say being an extreme extrovert i crave it. sometimes though, i'll be at a bar by myself if i have to say kill time before getting on a train or before meeting with friends and obviously i would love to strike up random conversations but the anxiety holds me back. some days it gets me and some days it doesn't. when i really feel up to pushing myself, i'll usually sit next to someone else who's alone and ask some relevant questions to spark a conversation. | socialskills | 9ixagu |
i feel so tired all the time and i’ve been feeling this way for years. it’s like i am never fully rested. do you guys know if this is a symptom of adhd? do any of you go through this too? if so, how do you cope? i’ve gotten lab tests to check vitamins and even a sleep study to see if i have sleep apnea. everything came back normal! | do any of you suffer from chronic fatigue? | i9re75 | i struggled insanely until my meds. now it has gone the other way lol. i am not getting enough sleep but it's way better than sleeping too much. i feel your pain i either never had enough time in the day or i was exhausted. | adhd | i9re75 |
i have to wash the dishes and its making me real sick just looking at the kitchen sink even though there is only a few dishes/silverware in there. | dae get squeamish when they have to do tasks like wash the dishes? | bfel4k | my 15 year old does. i thought she was making up some of these things until she was diagnosed last year. now it makes sense! she hates the beach because of the feeling of sand on her feet too. | aspergers | bfel4k |