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last night i went out with the guy i'm seeing and his friends. we had a great time until he started drinking (he's an alcoholic and gets very mean when he drinks - different person.) i was talking to his friends here and there and he thought i was flirting with them (did not even touch them). i was in a good mood all night until he drunkenly said in front of his friends "every day is a great day unless she's here," and pointed at me. i walked away for a minute, when i came back he said i was being a bitch. i told him i have to leave and his friends could see him mistreating me. at one point he grabbed the side of my throat and whispered shit to me about me "flirting with his friends" and his friend looked at me in concern. we left and i was about to drive him home but he said he wants to ride back with his friends. he left the car and i followed him, telling him this isn't him and he's choosing alcohol over everything. i was calm most of the night, but i did scream once when he was screaming. he told me to shut the fuck up, told me to take my "bitch face and vagina" (grabbed my crotch disrespectfully) and "go away", said he never wants to see me again, and would grab either side of my face hard and tell me to shut the fuck up. i left and he went inside with his friends. i'm not sure if he meant when he said he never wants to see me again or if he was just drunk and taken over by his alcoholism. a week ago he was drunk and acted the same way saying fucked up stuff, but woke up the next day guilty and apologizing for how he acted. i'm not sure if i should take this personally or just accept that he's an alcoholic and becomes a different person when he drinks. why was he so mad at me? i could see if i was actually "flirting with his friends' but i literally just conversed with them casually throughout the night. most guys enjoy when girls they see get along with their friends. is he just abusive or am i in the wrong and not seeing something? and where should i go from here? tl;dr alcoholic guy who says he loves me, drank last night, treated me like shit, and freaked out saying he never wants to see me again because he thought i was flirting with his friends. what should i do? did i do something wrong? | is he [24/m] abusive, or did i [21/f] do something wrong? | 642bbs | the only issue is the alcohol. that's the problem. period. | relationship_advice | 642bbs |
hey all. i stumbled across this sub recently as i’ve been questioning if i have adhd since i discovered it was actually a “thing” with adults. i was browsing and read a lot of posts that resonate with me. i took the self assessment from add.org and it was highly consistent. i’ll spare you my symptoms as i’m not asking for some diagnosis... i just don’t know what to do—the weight of this feeling of struggling silently and alone for 30 years is very heavy. i know that heading to the doctors and psych is the next step but covid put a hold on that for now. i suppose i could do telemedicine but i’m hesitant. i’ve been having issues with my husband as he can he sort of controlling and as i look back on or relationship and marriage i realize i clung to him because i needed someone to anchor me and give me some direction. now that i’m older i don’t want that and i don’t know what to do about it as we have a daughter. i don’t know what i’m trying to say. just looking to be heard. thanks. | new, suspicious | h7qrj0 | you're realizing a lot of things about yourself and your life. i would really recommend therapy to help you integrate the things you are discovering and figure out where you want to go from here. | adhd | h7qrj0 |
so i've been on so many different medications for my anxiety that either don't work. or work for a little bit then just stop. i've been doing research on medical marijuana for anxiety and wanted to know if anyone's tried it and your experience? | medical marijuana for anxiety | jsc0hz | you're going to get fuck all for good information here. thc and cbd used for anxiety have strong clinical evidence but many of the people who use it regularly and in high amounts are going to report decreased anxiety when they stop. the clinical trials found that there isn't a linear relationship with it so more isn't better. it kinda goes: none.. good.. bad bad bad really bad horrible. just a tiny amount send to produce the best effects. asking for anecdotal evidence without asking about dosage, medical history, marijuana use history, other substance use, medication, body type, health habits and another dozen demographics will get you crap advice. | anxiety | jsc0hz |
i've been clean in na/aa since 2003. i'm not getting what i need from there anymore. i'm only going to like 1 meeting every two weeks or so and i'm hating them. i'm sick of talking about "my drug problem". i stopped 13 years ago. it's not a problem today. i sing. i do yoga. i meditate. i listen to tons of music. i play instruments. i'm a good friend. i'm funny. i'm smart. i get promoted at every job i've ever had. i don't have a degree but the positions i get require a degree. i'm not going to stop doing these things. i want to drink wine. a beer. every now and then. i've been feeling this way for years. i think i'm ready to get out of 12 step. marijuana was my favorite thing when i stopped 13 years ago. i'd smoke if i could but i'd lose my job if i test positive. we do random drug testing. i'm thinking of the food and wine festival in disney. i'm thinking about tailgate parties at football games. ( i don't even watch sports.) i'm thinking of a draft beer at a music festival. i'm thinking of the craft beers my friends have created and started a business with. i'm thinking of margaritas at karaoke. i'm thinking going on a date where i don't have to kinda defend my no drinking thing. i'm thinking the kava bar. my sister told me that i can break my abstinence at her house if i want to. it's going to happen. i've already decided. and i really don't think anyone can talk me out of it. the 12 steps/cliches/the recovery language/the dogma/my reputation.... they are all in there. my friends are probably going to have a strong reaction. and i'm sure i'll lose some of them. they're all in na. they will say i "relapsed". i mean, i have 13 years clean. to some people, that's kind of a big deal. so yeah. that's what's happening. tl;dr i think i'll be ok if i leave narcotics anonymous and drink again. | i'm going to leave na/aa after being clean for 13 years. i'm going to drink. not sure when, but soon. | 5fyf3n | awesome!! na/aa are all shame based and help those in really low places; however their system has no way of growth after abstinence. just as you've learned, you moved on from where you were 13 years ago and have hopefully gained much better coping strategies. the important piece is your reason for drinking and your personal boundaries. what is an appropriate amount of drinks and when is it appropriate to drink. be mindful of when thoughts of drinking turn into escape or numbing. goodluck! | offmychest | 5fyf3n |
just for some background i am a 41 year old man who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at 18. i also have a degree in psychology however i'm willing to admit there are things i dont know and am always learning. this post however isnt about me. it's about my son. my worry is that my "precieved knowledge" is hindering my decision making. my son has been diagnosed adhd with odd. as many of you may know this is the most predictive diagnosis for borderline personality disorder. the school and the "behaviorist" have recommended he be put on a stimulant. my problem is this. number one adhd is diagnosed at almost 3x the rate in the usa then anywhere else. and more kids are on stimulants in this country then any other drug. this isnt about whether the pharmaceutical companies influence these decisions its about weather at 6 he should be medicated. the behaviorist my wife took him to is a nurse practitioner, who i am assuming took some sort of class or seminar that "certified" her to be able to spot adhd identifiers so she can write scripts to kids. it was likely funded by a pharmaceutical company for obvious reasons. i am not against medication. not at all. in fact i think that if a psychologist recommends meds in conjunction with therapy its irresponsible to not take the meds. the result may be that without them, you're unreceptive to therapy. my issue is with a np prescribing meds without the recommendation of a psychologist. however the school has successfully pressured my wife into this. again this isnt about the vested interest the school system had in medicating kids it's about my kid. can anyone, preferably a psychologist, provide me with a few answers to questions if you dont mind. 1) will stimulants affect my 6 year olds brain development in a negative way 2) i've made a appointment with a psychologist but it's not for a month and my wife wants to start the meds now. will the meds affect the analysis the psychologist makes next month? 3) perhaps my most important question is this. i love my son. he is my best friend. i'm trying to make the correct decision. i was on many meds as a child and they all did more harm then good. it wasnt until i was finally diagnosed bpd at 18 and taught how to live with it, got into a gym to help my self worth, and learn overall skills for dealing with anxiety, anger and the like that i started to function better, and although life is hard i've learned the skills necessary to live a happy medication free lifestyle. so i guess i'm asking will the meds be something that hinder his progress in learning these skills or will they help him and perhaps allow him to learn these things more easily. if you stuck with this and read it to the end i already appreciate it. i'm looking for real advice. i am not opposed medication but question its validity in a 6 year old boy. however i admit there is alot about this i dont know and am seeking advice from a actual professional. | i'm legit looking for advice. i need help. | davc6s | hello! mental health professional here. not a psychologist. i do some outpatient work with kiddos whose parents also have adhd and behavioral concerns. couple things that poke out at me that i'd like to comment on: 1. odd is not necessarily the most significant predictor of bpd. especially at that age. i wouldn't even be going near that diagnosis. you are potentially damning the kid before he even has a chance to develop. 2. you will want to get a child psychiatrist involved, if possible, along with the psychologist for the most accurate and corroborating information regarding use of a stimulant medication to help with symptoms of adhd. nurse practitioners can write scripts in most states; it's extra training they go through. there is a level above that, advanced psychiatric nurse practitioner (arnp) that has additional training regarding psychotropic medications. 3. the child psychiatrist will have the best info for you regarding stimulant use in young children. 4. the medications may affect the psychology analysis within a month (assuming proper med adherence, that's enough time for you to potentially see a difference in the severity of symptoms), but your son can still be tested for a definitive diagnosis of adhd. also, might be good to get some academics testing in to see if there's any accommodations that can be made at school to better optimize his learning experience. 5. the best thing you can do to help with your son is to be there. make sure he attends his appointments, pay careful attention to the recommendations of the providers, weigh the pros/cons and be sure to voice your concerns/ideas with them. find providers that you trust and who are willing to meet your family where they are. be ready to make changes in the home to better accommodate your son's behavior and learning. model appropriate behavior, emotion regulation, and ways to communicate. be the change you want to see in him if you are not already. | mentalhealth | davc6s |
for context, i consider these friends my family. this isn't a case of "well it sounds like you need to find new friends!" i don't have any living family. these people are all i have. i have known them for years. they know i've struggled with mental illness before, they've stuck with me through a couple breakdowns. at this point, it's a sort of, oh, op's having one of their mental breakdowns again. i feel embarrassed and vulnerable when these happen, so when they don't...i don't talk about it. i want them to forget it. i can't bring myself to open up to them about it. usually, i want them to think i'm fine, and usually, i am. but now it's backfiring, and i'm getting better at hiding my breakdowns, i'm getting better at convincing myself that it's okay to feel like this, when before i'd let out some kind of small, noticeable cry for help. i think they think i'm fine, when i need them to notice i'm not more than ever before. i need them to notice i'm making real, actual plans to kill myself. i need them to reach out and ask if i'm okay instead of waiting for me to ask for help, because i don't think i can this time. i'm embarrassed, and i feel very small. i'm slowly preparing to exit this world. i'm hoping by 2020 i'll feel fully ready to leave an existence i geniunely don't think i was meant for. i've begun slowly decluttering my apartment, and giving away things i'd rather see go to friends than say a thrift store. it's nothing super personal, but it's nice stuff. my coffee maker, my really nice portable speakers, brand new clothes, video games, etc, just stuff like that. i've started withdrawing from our usual social activities. i flake on almost everything i'm invited to. i stopped going to our dnd sessions. i've told them i feel like i don't fit in, that i feel like a constant burden to them when we do hang out. i am constantly anxious, or agitated, and i am almost always intoxicated or high when we do hang out outside of work. i renewed my life insurance policy this year, and put my best friend as my beneficiary and gave her a list of how i want my remains handled. i've even arranged who would get my pets if "something were to happen to me". and yet...no one's reached out. no one's noticed this checklist i'm working my way down. i know it's not their responsibility to monitor me, but jesus christ, i'm giving away my possessions and renewing my life insurance. i can't bring myself to ask for help. i know how selfish this whole thing makes me sound. i don't want them to think i'm weak. but when i can't make myself ask for help, god, god fucking damnit, i want them to notice. i want one of them to pull me to the side and ask how i'm holding up. i want one of them to just please reach out and hold me and not let me go until they know i've cried a river onto their shoulder. i don't want to be one of those they-seemed-fines, or one of those we-should-have-recongized-the-signs when i'm gone. i want my friends to notice i'm not okay, right now, because even though it isn't their fault, this total lack of recognition is only convincing me further that i was just not meant for this world. it's making me mad and frustrated at the people i love. how can i cry out for help, when i don't have the strength to find my own voice? without making my friends think less of me? this is the closest i've ever gotten to leaving. i just want them to notice i've already got one foot out the door. | none of my friends have recongized the warning signs i've been displaying, i'm too scared to talk to them, but their lack of awareness only validates the way i feel | b4glu9 | you want them close and you want to keep distance. i can see how you feel like they dont see you. maybe they see both intentions and do something in between. confronting you with these signs is a big step and to me doesnt feel like in between. | suicidewatch | b4glu9 |
so whenever i'm in an "argument", i clam up and go silent. i say "argument" because i feel like that word entails an interaction, and it feels more like me taking shelter from an attack. someone could very well just be trying to communicate with me, albeit angrily, but not threateningly, and i will literally shut down and go speechless. they might as well be talking to a brick wall. my mind will race with many things to say but i think in the moment when my emotions run high i feel too scared to speak. i've had this issue specifically with my mother and ex-boyfriend, both of whom are very strong-willed and thrive in heated arguments. i guess what i'm asking is, one: does anyone else do this weird shit where they literally just shut down and go silent in the middle of arguments and feel incredibly anxious about the fact that they're shutting down? and two: what the hell is my issue? how do i learn to speak up for myself and be assertive in these situations when i'm feeling attacked? | how to communicate when feeling highly emotional | 8septb | did you have a lot of yelling and fighting in your childhood home? could be a dissociative escape that stems from threats of this from youth. | needadvice | 8septb |
i didn't notice this until someone pointed it out recently. i was playing through a fantasy scenario in my head and apparently "making lots of strange noises". they said i looked really angry too and kept frowning. i had no idea. now whenever i sit down to think in front of other people i keep worrying i'll accidentally make noises | does anyone else make weird noises and faces when daydreaming? | 5qf0nx | i mouth conversations to myself, sometimes along with emotional facial expressions. i've been caught a couple of times and it's sort of embarrassing, but not a huge deal. | aspergers | 5qf0nx |
so basically, anytime i am doing something, say walking outside, and i see people nearby, i usually turn around and walk somewhere else. or if i see someone i haven't seen in a while, sometimes i pretend to not notice him until i am a good distance away. basically, i just realized this that i might be afraid of people. i recently moved to the united states, and i must say that people here are very nice and smiling, even strangers on the street just say hi, maybe i'm not used to it, but my stomach starts cramping, and i start sweating a lot. how should i overcome this. i go to the university here. im a sophomore (i don't live on campus), i don't have any friends, i just can't talk to people. any advice is appreciated. thanks! | i think i'm afraid of people, even strangers. even when i'm just taking a walk, and i see a stranger walking, i just become very nervous and all.... | 4fwbob | sounds like you might have social anxiety :) have you thought about seeing a therapist? if you are a student, you probably have free counseling available to you through your school's counseling center. i recommend you schedule an appointment and see if they can help! | socialskills | 4fwbob |
age: 45 sex: female height: 5 feet weight 150 lbs primary complaint: my poop is completely white duration: just started this morning, but i've had diarrhea for a few weeks drink: no smoke: former drugs: no existing medical issues: mucinous cystic neoplasm - center/body of pancreas (3 cm), history of pancreatitis due to the mass sitting there, acid reflux, frequent diarrhea, fatigue, left knee acl tear, and hyperthyroidism current medications are for the thyroid (which is on hold right now because it is within range) and over the counter gastro meds prn to manage my symptoms. occasionally i drink a gastro cocktail they taught me how to make at home when the pain in my abdomen gets bad. so, i woke up this morning feeling the urge to get to the restroom. this is not unusual for me as i have frequent diarrhea from the cyst on my pancreas. i did my business and stood up to flush the toilet and the entire toilet was full of white poop. like...so white it matched the white porcelain of the toilet. let me tell you, looking down at the toilet filled with pure white poop that just came out of my ass...that's a sight, i tell you. i nearly had a heart attack. i have some uncomfortableness in the center of my chest/abdomen (like right between the boobs) but not severe pain. i have fatigue. i have gas. i have some nausea and lack of an appetite - havent eaten all day. i have a feeling that i have to poop again, but when i sit on the toilet nothing comes out. i'm being treated for the pancreas at md anderson and tried to put in a panicked call to them and haven't heard anything back. this is not unusual for them..it takes forever for them to return a call. right now, they're taking a wait and see approach on the mass...its growing fairly rapidly, it looks like it might be morphing into cancer, but my blood work is not too wacky just yet and they want to relook at it in december to see what it has done in three months time. the only option to remove it is to do the whipple, which they try to wait as long as possible to do that, apparently. i tried calling my pcp, he told me its above his paygrade and to call mda. i tried urgent care, they told me to call mda. and i called mda, and they haven't called back. why the hell is my poop white? should i go to the er? am i going to die waiting for mda to call me back? i've waited all day on pins and needles and still haven't heard anything tonight. like obviously this isn't normal. i feel like i'm shitting cotton balls, man. could the mass have grown enough (in the center of the pancreas) to be pushing on the gallbladder duct? isn't the duct closer to the head of the pancreas? how can a mass in the center be pushing on a duct in the head? could i have gallstones and not feel severe pain? any ideas on what the hell to do tonight would be helpful. i'm sorta freaked out. | my poop is white. | czthpn | nad, but white or light stool usually indicates a bile blockage, so gallbladder, liver or pancreas. based on where you are describing the discomfort, maybe gallbladder. especially if it makes you feel like you want to stretch out your chest/abdomen (versus ball up) to relieve the discomfort. without having dealt with your specific situation, i can only say go with what you feel is best for you. if you would feel better getting checked out at the er, do that. if you want to wait and see, that's your call, too. being someone with a couple of chronic illnesses i know that feeling like you can't get your providers when you need them is so rough. ultimately, you have to do what feels right for you. good luck and keep us posted! | askdocs | czthpn |
i’m so scared that one day i’m just gonna say “fuck it” and end up doing something drastic to kill myself. i’m tired of feeling so alone and worthless but don’t want to cause the people around me even more stress than i already have. i can’t talk to anyone about this without them freaking out and telling my parents or either completely ghosting me. i really don’t know how to continue on battling this alone. | scared of constant suicidal thoughts | 8dzwzn | yep! i was thinking this same thing today haha. i laugh because that's all you can do really. keep fighting the good fight | bpd | 8dzwzn |
so, i need 20 hours of community service to get into this really nice school. i had to choose between helping baby birds or volunteering at a nursing home. i chose the nursing home, but i truly regret that decision. for starters, the people who work their are very gruff and rude. there are a few diamonds in the rough, but the jerks are far more common. next off, it's a huge place, and we don't have maps. i've gotten lost more times than i can count, and i usually get scolded for it. some of the residents are very rude. i understand that many of them have mental issues, but i just can't take it. one of them had to use the restroom. this was my first day, so i had to ask for directions. i was directed to the nurses station and told they'd handle it from there. as i'm taking her there and explaining what i'm doing, she snaps. she starts shouting at me and calling me names. i just continued and wheeled her to the station, but i had to fight back tears. it's very hot in there, and the fact that we can't sit down and are constantly moving doesn't help. there's also the fact that we have to talk to the residents. i push through it and try to be as relaxed and kind as i can, but inside i'm freaking out. i can't quit. i need the 20 hours, and the bird thing is already over with. do you guys have any advice? | how do i deal with my job? | w0gzf | i worked for 2.5 years in a place like that. i kept sane by telling myself that it would be over someday, and low and behold, it is over. sometimes you just have to dive head first into something miserable and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. | aspergers | w0gzf |
26 m height - 176cm weight - 143lbs (65 kg) yesterday while i was working, my heart started pounding really fast for no reason. so i tried relaxed breathing. i drank some water, went to the washroom and after sometime it came back to normal. i felt a little pop below my neck before it came back to normal. this all happened between in a span of 1-2 min. should i be concerned ? | need advice. should i be concerned ? | fhavrv | am i correct when assuming you have no history of heart disease and in your direct family there have been no young (<50) serious cardiac issues? no medication? no drugs involved? panic attacks are more common then new heart rythm problems at your age, and what you describe could be a panic attack. | askdocs | fhavrv |
been working with the mentally ill for almost 5 years (now as a psych rn), working acute psych, detox, rehab, and adolescent. i came from medical nursing and, for the first few years, felt my understanding of mental illness growing. lately, however, i've become more confused (and/or disillusioned) by the entire field. as for my confusion - in acute psych in particular, the lack of patient insight distresses me. i've watched documentaries, psas, etc. where seemingly "normal" people speak about their struggles with schizophrenia or bipolar. my patients almost exclusively show no insight into their condition or are in some type of denial. they seem to exist only in the present, with very little insight into their past or future. i've had professors, physicians, professional athletes whose mental illness now defines them. they are no longer able to function as they once did. do they remember their past lives in detail? are they terrified/confused by the drastic change in their life? they don't appear to be. what's going through the mind of a schizophrenic with mostly negative symptoms - staring into the ceiling day after day, saying nothing? i'm mostly disillusioned by the pharmaceutical side of mental illness. maybe it's just my current facility (or a few of the facility's physicians), but is it common to continually chase symptoms with new meds? i have many pt's on 10-20 meds, with new orders daily (e.g. seroquel tid, wellbutrin bid, xanax tid, cogentin, benadryl, buspar, vistaril prn, zyprexa prn, trazodone qhs.....plus medical - robaxin, neurontin, etc). again, i'm an rn not an md, but at some point, i start to wonder if there's any way for someone to be stable on this amount of meds. sorry this is kind of all over the place...having a hard time gathering my own thoughts and emotions lately and that might be part of why i'm having such a difficult time lately with this stuff. i have extreme empathy for my pt's and love working in mental health - i don't think i'll ever go back to medical nursing. at this rate, however, if i don't get a good grasp on whether what we're doing is the right thing (or at least leading towards the right thing), i may have to leave the field. guess i'm hoping for someone to put it in a way that makes more sense to me. | 5+ years working in mental health, feeling more disillusioned/confused daily | 3xwzxv | in my opinion you are experiencing burn-out symptoms. if you have vacation days, take them. | mentalhealth | 3xwzxv |
i'm a 17 year old guy who's been seeing a girl a little more than a year younger than me (i was born july 1999, she was born october 2000). is this weird or inappropriate considering i'm a senior and she's a sophomore, and would it be considered weird or inappropriate if we were to continue seeing each other next year when i go to college nearby? | question about age differences for teenagers | 66acmx | not at all. go for it. | relationship_advice | 66acmx |
everyone, what if.. it doesn't get better, everyone's trying to survive, just like you, and as long as you breath, it'll never stop. i just don't understand.. how's this fair? | it doesn't get better and i can't go on living this way | 6pqg5r | do it anyway. don't continue because of some hope of things changing, continue it spite of the real possibility they don't. | depression | 6pqg5r |
a few months ago i moved to a new block of apartments and i met a nice girl who lives next to me. i've been trying to be friends with her and i think i was doing ok. we chatted when we saw each other, i asked her phone number one day and a couple of weeks ago she even accepted to meet and have a coffee. i don't think i've been too pushy or annoying, more than a month passed from asking her phone number and texting her for the first time. the day we had a coffee, i told her i was thinking about going to a music festival but i hadn't found any other person to go with yet, so i asked her if she wanted to go. i texted her the line-up, she told me she didn't know any of the bands so i asked her if she'd like me to send her a few songs so she could give it a thought about going. a week went by without an answer and i sent her another text reminding her about it. then she answered, said yes about me sending the songs and apologized saying that she was bad at answering texts. we were discussing how to send her the playlist, which took a few days as she didn't answer until hours after sending her the messages, even though i saw her online before she responded. the last message was me sending her a playlist, it was a week ago but she hasn't answered yet. i was not thinking about bringing it up again when seeing her if she didn't mention it, it was just a suggestion, i didn't even ask her to listen to it. the thing is that this morning, while i was waiting for the bus (we often take the same bus to work), i saw her approaching the bus stop, i had a look at my phone and when i took a look at her again she was just walking in the opposite direction. that crushed me, i don't have many close friends at the moment as my previous group of friends left me because i was too introvert. i've been working on it, i built enough courage to approach and try to be friends with this girl but it doesn't seem to be working. i don't know what to think. she seemed comfortable talking with me, but maybe i missed some signals. the slow responses and now this. i don't think i did anything wrong. maybe i was too pushy with the songs thing? she lives next to me, i don't know what to say if i see her again. should i be colder with her? i don't want to be annoying. but i don't want her to think i'm mad at her for not listening to the playlist. | i think a girl i wanted to be friends with is avoiding me | 8ddrqr | first off, good work getting up the courage to talk to her. that's something to be proud of. as far as general social skills goes, whether it's dating or forming friendships, there has to be balance. i'm guessing from the sound of it you were almost always the one to initiate contact? if that's the case this can come off as very creepy and desperate (especially if you're the opposite sex). how often did she contact you out of the blue that wasn't a response to something you sent her? my suggestion for her is to let it go. don't contact her anymore at all unless she starts initiating the contacts. if you see her since you're neighbors, you can always acknowledge her "hey", "good morning" "etc." but don't try to engage in anything more. for the future in circumstances like this whether it be friendship or (but especially) dating, put yourself out there like you did, if you don't get responses and get the other person initiating conversation or making plans with you to the same degree you are with them from very early on, move on. if you come on too strong, you'll risk creeping someone out that may have been interested in some form of relationship with you. sorry this one went this way, but hey... don't look at it as a defeat. look at it as a learning experience and be proud that you even had the courage to initiate communication in the first place! | socialskills | 8ddrqr |
first time coming here guys so bare with me. i have been dating my girlfriend for a little over 2 years now, and we have had many discussions about what isn't working during different periods of the relationship. i have only had one long term relationship that went from age 16-19. with others only lasting months or so after that. and she hasn't had anything longer than our current one now. some things mentioned in the recent past were i do not know how to convey how i'm feeling/ tell her about my emotions. also that i do not really seem motivated unless i'm pressured from her or from school/work. and i have conveyed to her that she makes it difficult to convey those things because she either gets impatient with my response or tries to fix it for me. we have worked through those discussions with some resolution before. in the past i've told her i'm willing to work through it however we can, but this time feels different. a recurring theme that she has conveyed in these talks is that she feels that we are "on different wavelengths". meaning she feels that we are not headed in the same direction. we had a similar talk last night, this was after i asked if she was happy in our relationship and she said no.... we talked for awhile and she mentioned she isn't challenged enough in the relationship. she doesn't feel that we are both growing together, but rather growing respectively on our own. we have talked about our plans together in the future and were even planning on going to school together in the next year. we have even talked about creating a family together. i talked to her this morning and she talked about how she feels there are two relationships we have. one that is very loving, and we get along well and are a great team. and the other is this underlying feeling that we won't work out, and we are kidding ourselves, and that we love each other in ways that anyone could. we have talked about couples therapy, but haven't gotten around to going just yet. i can clarify with more specifics or any background info that i have. and if something isn't explained well enough i can do my best to explain. --- **tl;dr**: me and my girlfriend have been in what feels like a loving and supportive relationship for 2 years. but as of recently she feels we are on different pages, and is unsure if we both truly love each other. people with long term relationship experience, have you experienced anything of the sort? or does anyone have suggestions on what actions to take? | me [25 m] with my girlfriend [25 f] have been dating for 2 years and have run into a problem where she feels unhappy with the relationship. | 67ihms | she should process this with a therapist before making a big decision | relationship_advice | 67ihms |
urgent!! please share!!! warning: a psychiatric tsunami is upon us. the murphy bill has been merged with the 21st century cures bill and snuck into h.r. 34, an an amendment. the 996 page bill includes multiple provisions for forced psychiatry not limited to ioc/aot, act teams, and prison psychiatry. h.r. 34 also include: samhsa reorganization, condoning of hippaa violations, a study of peer support specialists for future controls of the field, multiple attacks on young people and veterans, and a host of other potential human rights violations. ... today, tuesday, november 29, 2016 tell your legislators to vote no on h.r. 34, tsunami warning, education, and research act of 2015. demand that your legislators stop sneaking controversial, damaging bills into other bills at the last minute. the american people deserve more. find your representatives here: WEBLINK for more information about the hearing on h.r. 34 11/29/16: WEBLINK saw this on icarus forums, decided it should be shared here. | urgent! | 5fk4el | this sounds like alarmist bollocks. can you link anything that has your points lined out with citations to the bill? is the apa or nasw on this? i've not received any news from the nasw so i'm quite skeptical. | neurodiversity | 5fk4el |
so recently i have finally discovered how to describe my views on relationships. ive always been friends with alot of women and we usually end up having sex and then years later hook back up casually. a very good friend/lover that means alot to me has recently helped me figure out myself and also believes in polyamory. we have no secrets and are free to love and fuck as we please. there's no jealousy and no control issues. its amazing and lets us share a very deep and passionate bond without hateful emotions clouding up the relationship like alot of women i tried to dedicate myself to in the past. i have had no problem only sleeping with one person. i am not a cheater. and i treat all my women with respect. i have 2 currently. soon to be 3 i think. during these last 4 years one girl keeps popping back up and the sex and connection is almost overwhelming on my psyche. i have had issues staying wjth her but at one time i was 100% serious about living the rest of my life with her. her smile makes my blood warm and my mind blank. the sex is like an ecstasy that couldn't ever be touched by the effect of drugs. its a natural high like i've never had and ive had great sex with many other girls. but this is always different. and i always underestimate it when i agree to meet up with her. good sex? ok ill be over. bam! i'm lost in my own head thinking about her. sounds great right? well the yin to her yang is that's she's nuts. she's controlling. she's possesive. she's irrational. shes a bitch. ungrateful for the little things i would do for her. and just downright hard to handle. before i began my polyamory i was with her for 3 years off and on. she tore my heart to pieces several times before i would leave her for a few months. and it always ended with me losing myself and spending months trying to put myself back together. thank god for the first girl i mentioned. she always finds all my pieces and helps me put it back together. my little helper told me she doesnt think its a good idea to see this destructive character again. but she messaged me and asked me to come over, and to keep it just as sex. no relationship. no dating. no meddling in each others lives. just wants to connect on that intimately cosmic level that we do and not try to keep pushing our boulder of a dating relationship up a hill to destroy us over and over. so against my helpers advice, i went, i underestimated, and it was amazing as always. i wanted to prove to myself that i can handle this type of love. i would not feel like i was in control of myself if i didnt. and that's important to me. my head still loves my helper. my head still loves the destroyer. my head still loves another girl outside of these two. and most importantly my head still loves myself. but my heart and soul connect strongly with both of these girls. the advice im seeking is how do i ensure that i keep my head on straight as i tangle with all this love??? i believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time. but im scared i will fall into old habits with the destroyer and have to begin rebuilding myself and im tired of taking steps backwards. my family hates her and so do my friends. she hasnt gave them many good reasons to accept her. honestly she is a shallow human being but i cant help myself and will not lie to myself. i accept her just how she is. and do not want anyone to change for me. tldr; im polyamorous and seeing 3 women. one is destructive to my life and well being in the past but i cant deny the love that we feel in and out of the sexual relationship. she just wants to hook up occasionally and im afraid of repeating old behaviors. how do i ensure i maintain clarity while tangling an overwhelming source of love and lust? i want to be fair to my other girls and not betray their love for this one. | my time traveler and my polyamory | 6bt3ub | how do you maintain clarity in a reality distortion field? you don't. you avoid the field or you surrender clarity. | relationship_advice | 6bt3ub |
my wife has an undiagnosed skin condition and has seen many different doctors. however, one dermatologist has taken 8 biopsies from her. he only orders one test at a time for each biopsy. is it possible for multiple tests to be ran off one biopsy? my poor wife has loads of scars from the biopsies and it seems unnecessary to me. age: 24 sex: female height: 5’6” weight: 170 race: white/asian duration of complaint: 5+ years location: colorado. all over entire body any existing relevant medical issues: loads | general question: how many tests can a lab run on one biopsy? | c7mz0v | each test requires a certain amount of tissue (or blood, or whatever is being tested). whether these biopsies are excessive or not isn't something we can know without information about the size of the biopsies and which tests have been run. | askdocs | c7mz0v |
hey guys, i started suffering from anxiety around october of last year and i still don't know what is normal or not during an anxiety or panic attack. i'm currently feeling hot and cold at the same time - like my ears and face are warm but my hands are cold. do you guys experience this? | new to anxiety, still trying to figure out what's normal. | b5qudm | this is fairly common. something a lot of people don't think about or realize. everyone that's alive has anxiety. it's a normal part of life. we are born with different temperaments and some folks are biologically more sensitive to stress and anxiety than others, but once more, regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, everyone has anxiety. for most folks though, their anxiety is manageable most of the time. whether they realize it or not, they have developed coping skills and behaviors to manage their anxiety that works for them. for others with high levels of anxiety and limited coping skills, the anxiety can begin to be either debilitating or cause strange symptoms like panic attacks. panic attacks are generally caused by one of two things. either your anxiety has built up so much slowly but surely over time that you've just reached your breaking point. the way i describe it to clients is to imagine yourself as a steam pipe. all the stress of every day life is pressure that's building up inside you. some days a little bit is added, some days a lot is added. in order to be healthy, you need to be monitoring your stress levels regularly and finding ways to vent the pressure through your healthy coping skills as quickly as it comes in. for folks who don't have a way of releasing the pressure, forget to do these things, or just don't do enough of it, eventually the pipe bursts which often causes panic attacks. a panic attack while feels absolutely terrible is actually a really good thing. continuing with the pipe analogy, a panic attack is your mind/body's version of an emergency release valve. it basically dumps all or most of your reserves of adrenaline at once into your blood stream which causes all of the strange symptoms. anyone who's had panic attacks knows that once it's finally run it's course and it's over with you feel completely drained, and probably a sense of calm you haven't felt in a long while. although we don't know this for sure, i'd be willing to bet if we weren't programmed with this emergency release valve kind of thing, our brains would literally become severely and possibly permanently biologically damaged by too much stress. common symptoms of panic attacks: having trouble breathing (usually because of hyperventilation), sweating excessively, numbness in the extremities, changes in body temp., racing thoughts, an impulse to fight, flight, or freeze, among plenty of other things. the other reason we have panic attacks is related to fears and phobias. i could write a whole other long explanation but i'll save that for another time. i'm a therapist who treats anxiety disorders frequently and someone who has had more panic attacks than i can count when i was younger. thankfully they're few and far between now. | anxiety | b5qudm |
i can easily comfort an upset partner. i can hug them hold their hand and tell them that things are going to be ok. but i find that i can't comfort people i have normal friendships with yet it seems normal people are able to do that. i feel icky if i as so much put my hand on their back. it sucks because i really want to learn how to comfort people but it just makes me feel sick. is it do with the lack of empathy thing? | i find it hard to emotionally comfort people who aren't sexual partners? | c88l56 | you may have some ptsd-like reaction to crossing boundaries with people? i fear being or acting out in front of someone i'm not as comfortable with. or like, will be careful not to cross boundaries because i so easily can | bpd | c88l56 |
how/why did the age of majority ever become 14 with regard to mental health services? is it your practice to tell a 14 year-old that they have the right to refuse treatment despite their parents/guardians thinking they can benefit from the service? any other information regarding this is appreciated. i’ve known parents that tried to get help for their adolescent children only for the therapist/counselor to advise their children that they could refuse treatment. thank you in advance. | mental health professionals, these questions are for you... | esajuz | where i live/work does not use 14 years as the age of informed consent (that's what this is called). we use 18. there are some special circumstances that allow a teenager to consent for themselves to receive some emergency-type mental health treatments but it's just to expand access, not limit it. we may try and engage with teens who do not want to be in therapy on the request of the parents. sometimes it works and we can get the teen to open up and work us, sometimes not. chances are there are laws in place where you are that allow this. it's not like mental health professionals pick an arbitrary age and go "oh you know what at that point they can refuse and we will listen to them." and there's always two sides to a story. | mentalhealth | esajuz |
i (28m) started dating my gf (23f) two months ago. everything has been pretty great so far. we communicate really well, have a ton of things in common, make each other laugh really easily, the whole package. i constantly want to be around her. i have feelings for her i've never had with anyone else, she feels special to me. i feel like i understand what all the love songs/movies are about, that type of feeling. she says she feels the same about me. last night, we were talking. i was telling her how much i like her and how i feel about her. her response was something like "well i like you a lot too. i feel vulnerable and like i've let you in emotionally. i don't do that with many people. because of that, i'll never leave you. unless you do something abusive, i'll never leave you, it'll either be you leaving me, or one of us dying. i like you that much. you're stuck with me forever. i know that sounds kinda like a crazy girlfriend, but it's how i feel". to me, i immediately was taken aback. to a large extent i feel the same way. but i feel the same way *so far*, which is the key difference i think. i feel like i'm almost ready to tell her the l word. she feels special, and kinda like the chick i've been waiting for and the one i've been holding out for. but it's only been two months , and that feels like the type of thing someone says when they get married, and we haven't told each other we love each other yet. am i over reacting? is this me afraid of commitment? or is this some sort of red flag? it kinda made me think about a few things. i overthink sometimes, and thought to myself "this sounds like the type of shit a girl would say who got pregnant just so the guy would never leave her" (i have a semi-irrational fear every chick i'm with wants to get pregnant with me) and other off the wall thoughts. it made me dwell on some of the "concerns" i have about her (there aren't many, but there are a couple. but i still don't know her that well yet). it really made me take a step back. we communicate well so i have no problem bringing this up with her, i just need to have my thoughts straight on this. help me process last night! | new girlfriend said something pretty clingy. red flag, or am i overreacting?? help! | 6eo71b | it's a little over the top emotionally.... but i wouldn't judge based on one comment. watch and wait.... | relationship_advice | 6eo71b |
in my case: bullying, never feeling loved/accepted for who i really am and for my looks, being lonely, being unlovable and worthless, feeling always inferior to other girls when it comes to look. those thinhs led me to develop eating disorders, depression and anxiety. | if you feel like sharing, what's your pain? | irg33m | (“traits of”) dependent personality disorder, sexual abuse, ipv, attachment trauma led to low self worth, low self efficacy, emotional lability led to self soothe with food and other dopamine bombs led to obesity led to worsened self hatred led to compensatory behaviors | bulimia | irg33m |
for the record, i have zero history with violent behavior, and this was my first time talking to him. i went to see a counselor because i was having some difficulties with a teacher who refused to grade my exam because my handwriting was too sloppy. we were talking about my academical career in general, and as soon as he found out i had asperger's he dropped that insult on me. what. the. fuck. why do people think asperger's makes you violent? why the hell does anyone think it's okay to talk to someone like that?! it's one thing when people use asperger's and autism as an insult, it's a whole other thing when people seriously think that having asperger's makes you a violent psychopath. i mean... fuck! i'm supposed to be the socially maladjusted one here. why do so many people who know i have asperger's thinks it's okay to treat me as a child, a moron, or a deranged psychopath? this is exactly why i keep my condition a secret. | college counselor: "you've got asperger's? you look calm to me, but warn me if you're feeling violent." | 26dx2s | it would be hilarious if the counselor was an aspie failing at making a tongue in cheek joke. | aspergers | 26dx2s |
hey everyone. i grew up in abuse and one of the things that really fucked me up was the gaslight and manipulation. i'm in a constant fog of fear and confusion, and never really sure if something is real or im making it up, which have both kept me in abusive scenarios and made me leave good ones. i cant tell safe people from dangerous people. im interested in if anyone else here grew up with the same - and if you got therapy, what kind will help? | anyone else who grew up with a narcissistic parent? gaslight and abuse | 891vlk | r/raisedbynarcissists is a good resource too, in case you haven't found it yet | bpd | 891vlk |
don't know what's going on with this? i have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and she is the love of my life, i can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend a lot, she went away for a week to his house (he lives in another town) and now that she's back he is staying at her house even when i leave... and when i am around neither of them really talk to me, am i just being paranoid or does this seem wrong to anyone else? | paranoid or right?? | 6tfeyd | red flag. yes. talk to her. | relationship_advice | 6tfeyd |
hi, i'm 18 years old. i'm male and i fear being touched in any physical way by women. i don't know why, i don't know when it started and i don't know what to do about it. i do know when i became aware of it though. during the lead up to some non-related to school exams i was feeling quite down and my friends tried to cheer me up, some of them girls. they'd hug me and pat me on the back while giving me words of encouragement. during that time i became uneasy and fearful of their touch. i passed my exams and since then i can't get over the fear. "fear" , in my opinion isn't an accurate description of it though. it's more of a hate of being touched. i've almost hit some women close to me because it, without thinking. that's the main reason i did this, to avoid that happening. just to put it out there, i've had relationships in the past and they've all ended on good terms. i can't think of any reason why i feel this way and why i react in such a way. any help or guidance would be appreciated. | haphephobia, i recently discovered i have it. | 23j5ui | seek out a therapist. if you don't care why it's happened and just want to work on getting over it, find one that practices cognitive behavioral therapy. they will help you work on reducing and hopefully eliminating your reactions to touch. it might be helpful to find a female therapist, but that is completely up to you and how comfortable you would be. you don't need to go into a therapeutic relationship with extra stress on you. | mentalhealth | 23j5ui |
i guess its time to finally admit it , im an unpleasant person, i dont know why but i need to stop it because i always feel shitty about myself whenever i think of a shitty situation for starters , in online games if im losing alot i can be a very toxic person in chat, i even sometimes send death wishes to my enemies if they provoke me in chat in school im usually a nice person , smiling and trying to be the nicest version of me till something really annoys me for example: my colleague was talking to me and he was just talking and talking so i just interpreted him and said "you talk too much you know that" . the thing that provokes me more than anything is someone giving threats , specially a threat like "if u dont do that i will tell your boss" or something indicating this person have power over me , i don't crave controll or anything but i hate being controlled last thing is apologies , they're hard for me , im doing some progress i guess but its still hard begging for something in a serious why is also impossible for me to do | why am i an asshole | g7snsj | i would suggest work that addresses the beliefs that underly your behavior. you want to be different, but because your beliefs have not changed, learning behavioral skills will only go so far. in general, it sounds like you have a belief that it is ok to respond if provoked. a good therapy program can also help you establish internal markers for behavior rather than external. most people who frequently react to what others say or do have little control over their own emotions and behavior. i certainly don't mean to simplify or minimize your problem, and it is great you want to make changes. programs for abuse and control can definitely help. | askatherapist | g7snsj |
edit: if anyone knows of any links to scientific studies showing the exact measurements of the men of the studies i'd love to see any links &#x200b; i don't even know if this will be the right place or if i'll get any response. i wanted to talk specifically to doctors, and especially those that see a lot of naked men, so maybe like urologists. i have heard all the rational, i know size doesn't matter, i know men are the only ones that care, i know "average" size is like 5.2" (depending on what studies you read) and that there are lots of flaws with studies done, but i wondered about a more real example. i also realize it's a bit flawed because what most doctors see is a flaccid penis, and flaccid penises vary wildly in size, and you got growers and showers and all that stuff. a bit of background on me real quick. i'm male, 28, i am 6'3", weigh about 300lbs, my penis is circumcised, 5"-5.25" when erect, 4.25" girth, somewhere around those dimensions. i have severe anxiety disorders and depression, and body dysmorphia, specifically revolving around my penis. i have very mixed up body expectations, and much of it has come from my pornography addiction (i'm working on recovering, and working with a therapist). so i've had pretty severe anxiety and depression about my penis, and even with all the rational facts i still struggle. so my plan is to collect as much real world facts and information and then i can keep reminding myself these things as i build a new self identity. &#x200b; my basic question for doctors, or those that may have an unbias experience with mixed random men, pretend you lined 100 naked guys up, what would the most common sizes be? if you saw me, a 6'3" overweight guy with a 5" penis, how would i stand out? &#x200b; also is there any difference between larger or smaller penises? more pleasure for him, or less pleasure? ease in urinating? more risks of disease? anything? &#x200b; again, just trying to rally up as much logical information to educate myself and work on creating a more realistic mindset. &#x200b; this is such a weird question lol sorry about all this. and if you feel more comfortable talking privately that's fine too. all i ask is no images please, images don't help my addiction recovery. thanks! | odd question for doctors, maybe specifically urologists. i want to know about average penis size, what is "normal"? if you lined up 100 guys what would they look like. | helvmn | asking doctors is not useful because we are rarely measuring penises. it's irrelevant for almost all medical care. but we can find information, and in a [large systematic review of some 15k men](WEBLINK) the average penis length erect is 13.12 cm, or 5.16 in. penis length correlates with size, but not very strongly. except in rare extremes, penis length is not particularly significant. there's no way to study whether longer or shorter penises have more pleasure because pleasure is so subjective and any given person only gets to experience having one penis. there are no greater or lower risks of disease. it's hard to do rigorous studies on what sexual partners prefer in a penis, and those results seem to be all over the place. women's stated preferences in penis size (mostly preferring width) don't even seem to track well with reported satisfaction (largely independent of size). a gestalt is that men seem to spend much more time worrying about this than women do; women don't care. (the surveys are all of men and women. perhaps in the future they will go by genitalia and not by gender, but we use the data we have.) bottom line: you're average and have nothing to worry about, but you probably also wouldn't have anything to worry about if your penis were an inch longer or shorter. | askdocs | helvmn |
my psychiatrist just ordered me to take some generic citalopram, and with my recently diagnosed venous insufficiency it makes me afraid of two scenarios. one, that the chemicals could build up down there and not go completely away if i need to switch to another pill, or that it might affect the efficiency of any antidepressant somehow. i did mention this to him but he said i shouldn't worry about it, nevertheless i'd like a second opinion. i was told by the doctor that diagnosed me with it(vascular specialist) that my condition wasn't bad, and my feet is where most of the symptoms are present. i use compression stockings. if there isn't a cause for concern now could there be if it gets worse? *25 years old *male *5 foot 11 inches *130 pounds *hispanic | venous insufficiency and anti depressants? | 555e7i | it is unlikely to cause any problems - its only of concern with significant renal or hepatic damage (ie in very physically unwell patients). | askdocs | 555e7i |
my so and i have a mutual friend who lives across the pond. he's coming to visit and will be staying with my so for almost the entirety of october. i have been at my current job for nearly two years and have had a steady schedule since starting there. the schedule would've allowed me plenty of time to visit my friend and so. it's important to note that my so lives about an hour away from both my workplace and my home, so stopping by for an hour to two isn't ever really an option. recently, we've had a change in management. we've experienced this before, but this is the first time a manager has decided to drastically change the schedules. everyone has been on a steady schedule (unless some shifts need covered for call-offs or vacations or whatever), until now. this manager had only been with us about two weeks now. with the way my schedule is designed now, i am left with only one day a week to visit my friend. this day off is on a weekday, meaning my so will be at work (he works a steady mon-fri 9-5 type job). i still have time to see my friend, but that leave very little time for all three of us to spend together, which we were really looking forward to. my old schedule allowed me to visit saturday afternoons and stay until sunday evening, which would've given the three of us time to spend together. my other day off on the new schedule is also on a weekday, and it's literally the only day of the week that i can't really visit. my so is part of a club, and that's the day they meet. he'll be bringing our friend along, and if i were to join it would be too many people. sure i could sit and watch, but that's not ideal. i have tried discussing all this with my manager long before we got the new schedules. she assured me i would have my old schedule and if any changes needed to be made, she would talk to me first. i then told her that the day so has his club is not a day i want to have off work, and it feels like she completely ignored that request. even the general manager has asked me about my schedule, because he understands that my social life isn't right here in town like the rest of my co-workers. and he told me that, even though he does not make the schedules, he will talk to the manager and make sure everything's correct. i can't exactly quit my job. i have expenses to pay, and the chances of finding a new one within a month's time are slime. plus, that would mean i'm now spending all my time off job hunting and interviewing, instead of spending it with my friend. i can't have my friend stay at my place, either. i live with my folks won't allow it, not even for a few days. my so can't alter his schedule, too. the company is only open the hours he works. mine is open 24/7. i'm torn here. i don't know what to do. it wasn't exactly cheap or easy for our friend to be able to visit, so we have no idea when either of us will see him again. | my friend from across the globe is coming to visit, and i can't get the time off work to see them | 54305t | sheesh, you americans with your punitive annual leave obligations. can you not swap shifts? | needadvice | 54305t |
i've read many different takes on how to deal with rumination caused by grief. it feels like there are two schools of thought, which leads to therapists giving me conflicting advice. i'm hoping that maybe i'm misunderstanding somewhere. these schools are: **when a painful memory of your ex a lost loved one surfaces – distract. avoid. disengage. "stop it!"** thoughts are like a plant, the more you water and tend to them, the more they grow. the more you indulge them, the more prominent they will become. the desire to dwell on the past can be dealt with be simply ignoring the thoughts that try to ensnare you. this approach seems very cbt to me, but dbt therapists might combine this with radical acceptance. rather than strictly ignoring the thoughts, they are mindfully acknowledged, met with acceptance (usually in the form of mantras), and gently let go. **feelings don't just go away because you want them to.** you can’t just take a feeling, put it on the shelf, and expect it to sit there. it will keep nagging at you and poking at you. your brain is trying to tell you something: i’m hurting. so by using a coping strategy of _avoidance,_ you are in effect trying to repress the painful feelings in a futile way. they will come back, probably in the worst possible moment, and it will hurt just as much. so, _let yourself be sad._ embrace it. welcome it. feel the full weight of your emotions. perhaps set a time limit so you don't go from healing a wound to just picking at it (easier said than done, though). as you may have guessed, i'm going through some grieving now myself, and am at a loss for how to deal with the _incredibly_ strong urge i have to ruminate when stuff triggers memories. | when dealing with rumination due to grieving, does avoidance work as a coping strategy? | bc9pi6 | avoidance is a coping strategy that can be used when necessary, but it is not a healthy one. let me explain. grieving is a process. significant losses cause a whirlwind of emotions. you can't avoid or go around them. to be able to move on, you must go through them, despite how painful it may be. when i work with grieving clients, this is how i explain grieving. albeit a bit simple, it seems to work for most folks. i say the following: "when you're grieving, it's like you're walking around with a magical number floating above your head. right now, you don't know what the number is. you can imagine it looking like a question mark if you like. what that number represents is how much you need to process, feel, and possibly cry over your loss. there's no set number for types of grief and it's different for everyone. you won't know the number until you hit it, then it will be like it appeared, and you'll realize that you don't need to grieve any more. the pain may not completely go away, but it will be bearable. while in the middle of grieving it doesn't feel good to process grief, to look through pictures of lost loved ones, or revisit memories tied to the loss, but it's necessary. the number above your head doesn't change. while it's important that you go at your own pace as you grieve, if you continue to ignore it or avoid it, it's not going to go away and it will never get to a point where it's bearable until you confront it." as far as avoidance goes. at certain points, it may not be an appropriate or comfortable time to break down crying or lose it. for instance, in a work meeting, taking care of your kids, walking down the street. you may need to avoid your thoughts and feelings in these moments just so that you can function to get things done that need to be done. this is fine. what isn't fine is doing this even when you don't need to or overworking yourself or finding someway to continually distract yourself so that you have an excuse to avoid. i hope this helps! | askatherapist | bc9pi6 |
my girlfriend has a pre existing condition of copd. she also has a mental illness that results in near constant suicidality . she's been declining for two weeks and for the past 3 days she has been at her worst in 2 years. she can't stay present without withdrawing back to a dissociative state rapidly. she has expressed her suicidal ideation more than ever. what's the risk she would contract covid during a psychiatric stay? | covid risk during psychiatric stay? 26 female 110 lbs located in md | jupd00 | all the psychiatric facilities around me are insisting on testing prior to admission and trying to maintain social distancing on the units. it's not perfect, but it has seemed to work well. you don't mention any other treatment your girlfriend has or has had. does she take any medications? does she have a psychiatrist and/or therapist? has she or have you reached out to those people? | askdocs | jupd00 |
i have been noticing that from time to time, the focus of my ocd will change, or it will be 3 things all at the same time. when i was first diagnosed, my ocd manifested in needing everything to be 100% clean and disinfected, leading me to do the laundry at least once a day, as well as cleaning the kitchen multiple times a day. then it morphed into making sure that my computer desktop was perfectly arranged, and freaking out if it wasn’t. now, it has morphed into constant and obsessive worrying about my privilege and making sure that i don’t offend anyone. i’m at a point where i don’t want to go out unless i desperately need to, because i feel that someone is going to be offended by my presence. the constant thoughts are leading me to be highly indecisive, as i’m always thinking that either option will cause someone else harm. is it normal for the focus of my ocd to shift? | can ocd transform over time? (can the focus change?) | hmn7rm | 100% normal. ocd is really god at honing in on the biggest values you have or the things that seem most relevant to you at the time which is why it can transform. for example, i just read an article that said there is a lot more ocd about being trans now that trans rights are getting a ton more publicity. | ocd | hmn7rm |
a while ago, i came out to my parents about me being transgender. they told me how brave i was, when i told my best friend i told them, she told me how brave i was, when my parents got me a councilor, she told me how brave i was to come out to them. truth is, i'm not brave at all. i'm scared. i'm too afraid to even bring it up again because i don't want to relive my dad's whole "i can never support this" speech. i'm too afraid to start transitioning by wearing the clothes i want because of what people might do to me. i'm afraid to come out to anyone else because i don't want to lose my closest friends. so, i'm not "brave" nor do i have a tremendous amount of "courage". i'm too scared to do anything to help myself. | i'm not brave | r1qal | not making a decision *is* making a decision. if you wait until you are fearless to make a move, you will never move. walk through it; don't fight against it. focus your attention on your self-esteem and self-love, the rest will come as a bi-product. | offmychest | r1qal |
hi, everyone. i've been dealing with anxiety for most of my life to some degree, but it has reached a point where i truly do need to seek out professional help. i should've done this years ago, but i was also dealing with untreated bipolar disorder at the time. tackling that was more of a priority, and i've recently resumed my medication routine after unwisely dropping the pills for about ten months. i am broke. i am currently unemployed, although i am, tentatively, looking for at least part time work. i have recently applied for benefits to get me by until i have my own income again. i want to see a therapist, but i can't afford it right now. i am not opposed to starting medication for the anxiety, but i'd rather try therapy first. don't want to take pills if i don't have to. i'm currently living with family, more specifically, in-laws, although they are at least as much family to me as my own, if not more so. it's been very difficult for me to accept free housing and monetary gifts from them, as my pride tells me i should be able to live as an adult without outside help. though logically, i know this isn't really accurate or helpful. do you have any recommendations for how to get help for the anxiety without having to wait until i have more money? every decision is agonizing. it's debilitating, and i feel anxiety is truly disabling me from performing well, or at all. any suggestions would be most welcome. i am trying my best. it's just not enough. | i don't know where to start. | 6naygr | medicaid pays for therapy at 100% usually. there will be restrictions on number of sessions and such and they may require you to do it at a community mental health agency but you should have access. look for medicaid on psychologytoday.com therapist finder. also call around to therapists or agencies to see who treats people on medicaid. it doesn't pay as much but a bunch of therapists will still take it. | anxiety | 6naygr |
i have my answer, i dont trust therapists, my first therapist was an awesome lady that actually helped me, but then she said i was okay enough to not go to therapy anymore and i was like 'awesome!! im normal now', but then shit really hit the fucking fan, like, skipping school just to walk around the city by myself, getting into random fucking fights because i wanted to be hurt, eventually selfharm, then started smoking then started drinking and i called the number she gave me,, she told me to call her if i ever needed something, but no one picked up and i wondered why,, i didnt get my answer for months, maybe a year,, she had cancer and died,, she didnt tell me,, i trusted her more than anyone to tell me how shit really was and she didnt tell me, she fed me this bullshit fairytale about me being okay enough to continue on my own,, so i guess, my real question, the real title is,,, how do i trust therapists? i cant, i cant tell them everything if i dont trust them to not tell my mom,, i cant tell them anything because my mom is the kinda person to go behind my back and do whatever the fuck she has to to get some fucking info on me and i cant let her know,, i dont care if its law that they cant say anything to my mom, i dont care if i sign a contract myself saying they cant say anything to my mom,, they can still tell her and i would never know until its too fucking late, so seriously, what do i fucking do? | why doesnt therapy work? | 9cnyg9 | with your current headspace and seeking drugs as your only escape, i don't know if you will make it through the next 4 years of school. think of it like energy, you have renewable energy and non-renewable energy. getting through life relying on drugs might work for a while, but it gets expensive and eventually will break you down rather than keep you going. you need some clean energy from a renewable source, friends, other family, hobbies, maybe a job you enjoy so you aren't so reliant on this woman. you talked about being sent to a pysch war in the past, well this lifestyle that you are setting yourself up for will almost certainly land you back there, and also probably drug treatment. you need to rely on yourself and on people and activities you trust. your mom is obviously a drain, and the drugs will be too. shit stinks, and if you don't work to get out of it, your still standing in shit. there are times to stick it out and there are times to make a change, and i think you need to make a change. | mentalhealth | 9cnyg9 |
hi all. occasional lurker, first time poster. i'm going to start this off by admitting i screwed up. but if there's anything i can do to fix it, i would most certainly try. the set up here is quite long, but almost all of it necessary. first some background: i recently moved back to nyc and in with my parents after i took a new job. while not ideal, this is the best living situation for me to save money until i can afford to buy my own place. this means that i am living with both my parents and my brother. moving along, about 1 month ago i met the most amazing woman on okcupid, let’s call her eb. she's a law student and i'm an attorney. she's smart, sexy, and intellectually challenging and just a ton of fun in general. she's a brilliant woman and fun to be around. she's basically the perfect woman. we went on two dates in december and each went smashingly well. after the two dates, she invited me over to her apartment a third time and we spent the night making out and watching tv. while we were making out, my mother called me and asked where i was because she's over protective. i lied in front of eb and said i was still at the gym and that i would be back later. i explained to eb that i would periodically lie to my mother in order to get her off my back and to give myself some privacy when i needed it. while not pleased, she seemed to understand that i had told my mother i was going to be somewhere else. when eb got back in january from visiting family over x-mas and new years, she invited me over to apartment once again. i went to see her early in the afternoon and we spent the day together. just before dinner, i told her i would call my mom and tell her that i would be taking an exam after work and then hanging out with a friend later in the evening. the truth of the matter is i had taken the exam earlier in the day and i just didn't want my mom to ask questions. this obviously upset eb and i tried to again explain that i don’t have anything to hide, but that i needed to do this for my own sanity and to give myself privacy from my mother. i also noted that my mother and my father are basically separated but living in the same house. because my brother and my father don’t talk to my mother, i end up being the one she talks to and i really didn’t feel like telling her i was seeing eb until i knew things were going to continue. eb seemed to be okay with this explanation but preferred that i would stop. i told eb it would never happen again. after dinner, which went really well eb and i went back to her apartment, fooled around and watched tv. it was nearly 3am when i told eb i had to leave because i had errands to run. she, however, really wanted me to stay. i really should have, but stupidly i decided to go home. fast forward to this past sunday, i offer to come see eb and maybe spend the night to make up for leaving on friday. eb proceeds to tell me that she’s instead going to focus on the work she has to do and that she’ll be going to bed early. she then tells me that she’s also not sure how she feels about my having to lie to be around her. this really confused me because she had asked me to stay the friday before. i tell eb that i don’t need to lie but i reiterated that i did so only to give myself space from my mother. i also proceed to tell eb that it’ll never happen again and that i told my mother i was seeing eb. eb tells me that she’s not really sure what she wants to do and that she’ll get back to me when she does. here’s where things get bad: knowing that the concern she expressed was my lying, i sent eb a really long text monday morning explaining that i didn’t have anything to hide and that i would never lie to her and that i wasn’t ashamed to be seeing her. i was just really happy to be seeing her and that i wanted to continue seeing her without my mother getting involved in my life until i was ready. i felt really bad, so i also sent eb a bouquet of roses for same day delivery, and then i texted to ask her if they arrived. because she didn’t answer any of these texts, i left her a voicemail as well that night and tuesday morning. in the voicemails, i offered a sincere apology and asked her if we were done or if there was anything i could do to make her less uneasy about the lying. tuesday afternoon, i also sent one text saying i was quite embarrassed by the lying and that i really hoped i could continue to see eb. eb never responded. so wednesday afternoon, i find eb on facebook, we weren’t facebook friends yet. she replies only to tell me that her phone was broken and that she hadn’t received my voicemails (she was lying but being nice). she told me she was busy with work and that she had a friend over for the week and that she didn’t have time to talk. she also sent me a text saying that it was “fairly obvious” that i was looking for a really involved relationship with a lot of emotional support and validation and that she requires significant breathing room and space and that between her classes and other obligations, she wouldn’t be able to manage my situation and that she might not want to. i follow-up that message by explaining i’m not looking for anything serious, but rather i’m looking for a more casual relationship that i think will grow into something more because i really really liked. i told her that she could set parameters under which we could see each other and she responded with “i don’t think that’s a good idea.” i then proceed to send eb about 15 messages between wednesday and thursday. each one relayed my sincere apology and explained that i was a little confused about the sudden change in attitude. that being, that she invited me to stay over one night and then declined my offer to come back and spend the night. i also told her in many of those texts that i felt this was a better conversation to have in person and that i was being persistent to quickly clarify what i was looking for in a relationship and to fix my mistakes. eb replies that she’s only going to say this once and then says that she doesn’t want to see me. she indicates that part of the reason she doesn’t want to is that i continued to sent her messages even after she clearly refused to respond. she said that i clearly lack a certain degree of control over my emotional reactions and that she doesn’t have the time or patience to get involved with someone who doesn’t understand that it was wildly inappropriate to send that many texts, voicemails and then leave facebook messages. she said i had gone from a nice guy to hella creepy. she ended by saying she was done with the conversation and that i should stop unless i wanted to be blocked on all mediums of communication. so here i am today. asking for advice. eb is an amazing person and i felt like such a moron for my behavior. i've never felt an emotional connection with anyone ever, not even my ex-girlfriend of 5 years. i know i should have been patient after sunday and waited for her to get back to me, but i’m the kind of person to fix my mistakes as soon as possible. so friends, i ask, is there anything i can do? or should i just send the basket and say i’m sorry? even though i've only known eb about a month, i really believe i've fallen in love and i’m honestly so lost and confused. i’m not very experienced with relationships and this has actually brought on a mild depression because i liked eb so much. any help would be appreciated! i should mention that i was recently out of a 5 year relationship that came to an end because i moved for a job. eb was the first woman i met since that relationship and i know i'm probably overly attached. but its really hard for me to meet people. i'm in really good shape but i suppose i've either got a really crappy okc profile or i'm not attractive to most women. summary/tldr: from sunday to thursday i sent close to 40 messages and 3 voice mails to a woman i started seeing 1 month ago, after she told me she needed time because she wasn't sure how she felt about my lying to my mother when i was seeing her. i behaved like an asshole and i sent the messages to say i'm sorry and explain how badly i wanted to fix the situation. she perceived it as immaturity and emotional instability. i sent her so many messages she told me not to message her anymore and she said i had gone from nice guy to creepy. i'm confused, depressed, and can't sleep. anything i can do to fix it? edit: based on responses below, should i mail the gift basket in a month or just text? | [29/m] is there anything i can do to fix this short term relationship? | 5oes9y | you'll get more responses with a summary sentence or two at the bottom. | relationship_advice | 5oes9y |
okay...so here it goes. edit: ages. i [36 f]met this strange guy [30 m](rocking a cosplay that complimented my own) at a comic covention a few months ago, and we kinda hooked up (when i say that, i mean we made out intensely for hours, and then feel asleep in one another's arms). i had to leave early in the morning, and my head buzzing with the chemistry from the night before, i left my number (and a small token from my cosplay)...not really knowing what to expect. he does text me, later that evening as it was. and i was more excited than i had really any right to be. we have spent over a month going back and forth over text (sometimes in a sexy time manner, others just chatting), and i find that i am liking him more and more. it's hard to find someone that shares that level of chemistry with you and likes the same things (you name it: the geeky, the dorky, the star wars, and certain areas of sports). the utter downside: we literally live on opposite sides of the country. we both have our own lives and such...but again, each of us is right next to a coast. is it worth it to continuing to pursue this guy, the first one that had been my equal in geek adoration, and physical attraction? | realists and romantics: are long distance relationships worth it? | 76tnwn | if he is great than it's worth it. great doesn't come along too often. | relationship_advice | 76tnwn |
well, i guess i want to try going to a meeting, and i live in the sticks so the only option around here is an aa meeting. two things scare/confuse me: 1. there's a meeting i'd like to go to tonight but it's in the faculty lounge of my school (i'm a college professor). people there might know me. but then, they are also there, so maybe that's okay? 2. (and i have read up on this but i want an actual internet stranger to reassure me too) is it okay for me to go to a "closed meeting"? i'm not like 100% ready to call myself an alcoholic, but i def think i could easily become one in the next 5 or 10 years...??!!? thank you for reading. one impetus for my stopping drinking now is that my dad recently "came out" as a gambling addict and also alcoholic, and i can see what a difference ga and aa has made in his life. i'm not ready to talk to him, or my family, about all this yet (there's a little baggage there... bc, you know, of the addictions!) but i'm sort of like, "if he can/should do it, i also can/should do it." i definitely feel the lure of the addiction. like, alcohol feels like all i think about sometimes (whether or not i'm drinking). and, the more i read here the more realize i am not a "normal drinker." | can someone reassure me about this "going to a meeting" business? | 1k531b | meeting people you know shouldn't be an issue. there's a reason its called alcoholics anonymous. it's like vegas, what happens or is said in those rooms stay there. everyone has said all the rest i would say. i can tell you that the most success i see with this program comes from people who jump in feet first and get to work right away. | stopdrinking | 1k531b |
hey all, i hope this is an appropriate place to ask this question. i'm not asking for myself, but for my roommate/best friend. so, my roommate is currently experiencing what i would say is his second psychotic break in the last month. here are some of the symptoms he's been experiencing: -"the family" is all around, watching him to make sure he "doesn't mess anything up". he can't say who is part of "the family", or how he knows the are. -he's been arriving to, and leaving, his work whenever he sees fit, and accusing his managers of not understanding why he's doing it. -waking up at 3/4am and walking around town for 12-14 hours without his phone -not being able to describe what he did, or who he talked to/saw, in coherent terms -flight of thought between topics, and his descriptions of things do not seem to be in touch with the reality of the situation there's other stuff too, but these are the ones that stick out most to me. i work in the mental health field, but schizophrenia is not my area of knowledge, so i'm not 100% sure of my own take on the situation. basically, i'm really scared to see these dramatic changes in my best friend, and i do not always feel safe in our apartment anymore. he does return to rational thought/speech patterns, but becomes very emotional and unpredictable when at all escalated. has anyone else experienced watching a friend develop schizophrenia? what was it like for you? do you have any advice for how i should handle this moving forward? i don't want to lose my best friend. | schizophrenia early warning signs? | 8io4y7 | i do have a lot of experience working with folks with schizophrenia. while it can certainly manifest differently in everyone, this doesn't sound like a lot of the common symptoms and behaviors of someone with schizophrenia when compared to folks i've worked with. some of it does of course, the hallucinations, delusions, flight of thought, but all of it together all at once and the manic aspect of waking up and wandering around along with the lack of memory seem to suggest it's something different or something more. my first thought is that he should get checked out by a medical doctor or team of medical doctors to determine if there are any medical issues causing these psychotic symptoms and behaviors. with schizophrenia, one of the most important factors that separates out the individuals who have it and can lead full lives without the disorder taking away their ability to function is early diagnosis and consistent medication. the longer someone goes without getting medicated, educated on the illness, and engaged in therapy, the more likely the person is going to have difficulty seeing their delusions as part of their illness as opposed to believing that hallucinations and associated delusions are objectively real. best of luck! get him to a doctor asap! | mentalhealth | 8io4y7 |
30 male 6’1 231lbs this happened tonight current diagnosis are depression/anxiety and adhd medications include lexapro and adzenys he uses dip tobacco brief backstory, my husband has dealt with anxiety/depression for a long time. i didn’t realize the severity of the situation until last august. he completely checked out mentally from our family. a couple of weeks before christmas he told me he wanted to kill himself, he thought he was a cyborg, and he also was hearing voices. we drove to a mental hospital, they evaluated him. (i’m confident he lied.) he was not directly admitted, but started their partial hospitalization program 2 days after that based on their recommendation. he currently has stepped down to intensive outpatient. they started him on lexapro immediately, which for the first two weeks was hell. then he leveled off and was much better. then they added adzenys for his adhd. it was great. my husband was an understanding, brand new man. until they doubled his dose last week. now he’s a monster. right around the time his dose was doubled, was when he became a horrible person, was yelling at the kids constantly, and picking fights with me and being very mean. tonight was the final straw. he threw a full bottle of cleaner at me (at the minimum in my direction,) missed me, it broke in the kitchen and then he walked outside and broke a table. he also yelled at me in a voice that he must have been channeling the devil through. i don’t know who he is anymore. i think the adzenys has a correlation to his new horrible behavior, but i can’t find anything online about it. i’m willing to separate if i need do, but i love him so much and and i want to make sure this isn’t a medication causing him to do this, and that it’s actually him before i make that decision. thanks in advance. p.s. this reddit thread by far won’t be the final decision on weather or not i divorce him by the way. i’m calling his councilor tomorrow morning about his episode, and i want to ask him to set up an emergency meeting with his doctor for the medication, but i want to be knowledgeable about what i’m going to say before i say it. also, i’m not here for relationship advice. i’m well aware what i do and don’t need to do. i am safe, my kids are safe, he is safe. i just want to know about the adzenys, or other possible reasons he could be having this aggression. | can adzenys cause aggression? my husband is unstable. help. | aix73l | it could be other things, but adzenys is an amphetamine, and amphetamines can certainly increase aggression. the timing is suggestive, as you say. if things were going well before it's worth discussing dropping the dose back down or using something else. | askdocs | aix73l |
(note: this is a reply to another post, but i wanted to share it with the wider community) i've been doing a lot of research on adhd, and the word "shame" keeps coming up. like, "[shame can become a dominant emotion into adulthood as harsh internal dialogues, or criticism from others, becomes ingrained](WEBLINK)." i dug into "shame" yesterday, and was floored when i came across a type of shame called ["toxic shame."](WEBLINK) toxic shame is consistent, internalized, negative thoughts and emotions, directed at the self. it is often hidden from the conscious mind. it shapes our self-image. it can lead to depression, anxiety, codependence, and other shitty states of being. it is rooted in childhood trauma. rsd, combined with executive function challenges, makes those of us with adhd highly susceptible to toxic shame (particularly those who had an adverse upbringing and/or were diagnosed later in life). this can lead to something called "shame anxiety." we feel anxious about taking action, for fear of the rsd-supercharged-shame we would feel if we *perceive* failure. so we don't take any action at all. this anxiety-induced action-paralysis often leads to the very shame we were trying to avoid. it can easily become negative feedback loop that compounds into a profoundly negative self-image as the years go by, affecting every aspect of our lives. it makes sense that we feel this way. shame is a basic human emotion — it's: "an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self, withdrawal motivations, and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness … it is the only emotion that is dysfunctional for the individual, and functional at a group level." [link](WEBLINK). shame is evolution's way of keeping those who violate social norms in line, in order to ensure the safety and well-being of the group. however, most modern social norms were established for neurotypicals. so those of us with adhd who, *through no fault of our own*, find it exceedingly difficult conform to modern social norms, feel shame. rsd-enhanced shame. often. so much so, that we internalize it. and it becomes toxic. to me, this understanding was revelatory. having an adhd brain means that i *am* different than most people. and i *don't* necessarily fit into the boxes of society. and that's okay. i absolutely *do not* need to be ashamed of it. tl;dr: people with adhd are susceptible to something called toxic shame, which can be devastating. tl;dr the tl;dr: [video](WEBLINK) | adhd & toxic shame | a808dy | this is amazing and thanks for sharing. fyi there is a book called” healing the shame that binds you” by john bradshaw. really dives into toxic shame! | adhd | a808dy |
this is for all the people with a sink of dirty dishes, a hamper full of laundry that needs washing, and me, who has to do a bunch of paperwork due in two days and instead spent the day making sauce. | hmmm, that task was very easy and took almost no time to complete. perhaps i should not have waited twelve days to do it. | jpsqv0 | but then i will lose the fun of making the task seem like is a bigger deal then it is and will take forever to complete. i will never learn lolol | adhd | jpsqv0 |
hello. i'm 20 years old and last year i had, what i believe to have been a schitzophrenic episode. i'm almost positive that's what it was, but what i was diagnosed with officially was actually bipolar disorder. anyway i want to share my experience in hopes that there are other people out there who have had similar experiences. for about three months i lived in a totally different world. i believed that i was communicating with other beings and traveling different dimensions. it all started when i went to beach goth 2015. i was on acid. during a performance, i felt a weird connection with the music and specifically the lead singer. something told me the singer and i were connected. of course, i was on acid, so later when the acid wore off i didn't think about it. flash forward to 2016. one day i'm drunk and admit to a friend that i think this same singer and i are soulmates, i'm still perfectly sane at this point, but something inside me just makes me say it. february comes and i go out to see the same band. this time the show is much much smaller, and i notice the singer look directly at me before they start. he smiled real wide and i got so shy because he was hot. then 2 weeks later i go see the same band yet again, at a different venue. before they start he spots me again and smiles and motions at me to get closer. during the show i see a blue string like wave coming from his throat, and i swear, swear swear swear, that i can move the crowd with my hands. i sway my hands to the left, and the crowd sways to the left, i sway them to the right and the crowd moves to the right. also when i sing the entire crowd starts to sing too. i experienced the same things at beach goth, except this time i wasn't on acid. i barely smoked some resin because i had run out of weed. that night might've been my last night of blissful sanity. the next day i go the park and cry, for some reason. i don't know why. i wonder if i'm telekinetic. and i wonder if this guy is my soulmate. i only started thinking he was my soulmate after googling the symptoms that i felt. (why google, why!) after this i got really into meditation and astral projection. one night i could've sworn i was visited by an astral being while i was awake. something told me it was him. at this point i still wasn't as crazy as i would later become, i was still very sane and productive but as the days went by i lost it. slowly i went more and more insane and about a month later i'm convinced that i'm talking to this guy every day through my mind, that he visits me through some sort of astral presence or whatever. i meditate and i see images in my head. crazy stuff man. i can't remember the details but i would see very vivid images. i thought i was traveling through space through my mind. i would meditate for an hour and hear "god". at one point i thought satan was inside me. i would have these delusions of cyborgs. i would talk to fictional movie/tv characters. i almost ran in front of a moving car because i thought i would become an angel and enter a different world. i would hallucinate. i thought i was god. i stopped eating, i would spend all my time in my room. i stopped talking to people. every hour of the day i was inside my head going through some crazy made up adventure. this lasted months. i was completely delusional. there is so much that happened in my mind and i kept it in a journal but due to the same inasinity i lost the journal. eventually i started taking pills, resperedol and lithium, and eventually it all went away. now i'm back to normal and i know that the "soulmate" thing is complete bullshit. it took some time to recover, a couple weeks ago i still cried about it. i'm not sure why i cry. something about it makes my heart ache. is it the fact that this stranger will never actually love me? maybe. now i'm normal and i've come to terms that all of this was fake. it was terrible and i wish it never happened but at the same time i enjoyed myself over all. anyway i'm glad i shared this. has anyone else fallen "in love" via schizophrenic/psychotic episode? or "traveled dimensions"? i appreciate any kind of experience you can share. also, i want to stop taking my pills. i have stopped for about a month now. do you think it could happen again? thank you. | psychotic/schizophrenic episode | 6d92ht | sounds like drug induced mania to me. given the relatively successful resolution of symptoms and lack of other cognitive/functional deficits, it's less likely to be schizophrenia. i hope you've told your prescriber that you've stopped your meds (abrupt discontinuation not advised for your specific meds!) | mentalhealth | 6d92ht |
i've struggled with uncertainty and indecision for as long as i can remember. what i want to do, who i want to be with, where i want to live...when i try to sort out any kind of big life decision, i pretty much end up in gridlock in my mind and get nothing figured out. in the past i always put things like this off, thinking i was young and had plenty of time to sort it all out. now i'm 27, and feel like i'm in a permanent rut. in the past year, i've gone back to college for a career i thought i wanted but even that doesn't seem right now. most of the people i grew up with have had established families and solid careers for years now but i feel so behind because i have no idea what to do. how do you figure out life? | what have you done to find clarity in life? | d88bvw | the secret is, 9 times out of 10 those people you see don't actually have everything figured out. you just don't see the doubts from the outside. we're all works in progress. good for you for going back to school! even if the thing you're studying isn't working out, well, that's at least helping you decide what you don't want. most likely your college has some sort of a career center or advisor you can talk to about your options - a career counselor can help you talk through things, maybe even give you some tests to see what you'e good at, and maybe recommend some options career-wise that you hadn't thought of. whatever you do, try to find support and resources from others - you don't have to figure it out entirely on your own. remember that everyone's path in life is different. some people stick to one thing for a long time. others bounce around more, try different things, always growing and setting new different goals. no one way is more correct than the other. maybe you have some goals that aren't necessarily related to a career? maybe your goal is to find a goal you like (that takes effort too!). just make sure your needs are being met (which may mean "settling" for some random job you can tolerate so you're financially secure), and that you have enough time/energy to pursue other things too. that may mean working towards finding a better job, or pursuing things like hobbies, or some combination. | advice | d88bvw |
last june, i started taking antidepressants and have been undergoing therapy for my depression. my first cycle for meds is for 40 days and tonight is the last one. i want to try if i can already sustain my stable thoughts and emotions without it but i will still be going to therapy sessions. however i can’t help but to think that i may go unstable again and will have to rely on meds a little longer. it’s kind of making me worried. | my last tablet of antidepressants | cnlyh3 | nothing wrong with wanting to see if you are able to function and manage your symptoms with medication to assist you. be mindful about going cold turkey, though. several kinds of antidepressants can have adverse effects if you stop taking them suddenly. the most helpful way to get off of antidepressants is to let your doctor know about your interest to taper off (that means, gradually come off of them) and allow them to prescribe you smaller and smaller doses until you eventually stop taking them. that helps with the transition off of medication much better. you can do that in a span of 6-8 weeks. also, make sure to let your therapist know so they can help you monitor your experiences coming off the medication and make recommendations as appropriate. | mentalhealth | cnlyh3 |
i'm a shy, polite, sensitive 23 year old woman. i never want to upset anyone. almost always willing to offer second chances. i feel like all this makes me a pushover. whenever i get into an argument with someone, rather than stand my ground or get mad at *them* for being rude, i immediately apologize. i say that i misunderstood the situation, i'm sorry i did/said that, i really care about them. i also tend to become really emotional and will be as nice as possible out of fear that the other person (if i know them) won't want to be my friend or so anymore. growing up, in fights with my parents i learned that arguing doesn't get me anywhere so i would just stop talking and for some reason *that's* what got to them. now in a lot of arguments with other people i get so frustrated that i just give up and don't say anything. with 90% of people, all this does is make them more angry with me. it's like the fact that i don't stand up for myself makes them lose all respect for me or not even care about me anymore. it hurts that others aren't as understanding with me. i think i just come across as fake or something when i act too nice, but it's not like that. what can i do in future arguments that will make people respect me more? | i feel like i'm doing something wrong when i have conflict with people. | d3chjx | ask yourself - did i do something that is wrong? if not, you don't need to apologize. it's not wrong to state your opinion. it might be wrong to be rude about it, but simply saying "i think this" or "that's not true" is not rude. in matters of opinion, emphasize that your view is this, even if others may differ. in matters of fact, you simply need to state that fact (if it was challenged). | advice | d3chjx |
i've gotten more and more aware of the fact that i am practically friend-less. i do have many acquaintances, mostly through college as well as from high school, but i have found that even those i used to consider my best friends have grown (or shrunk down) to only be acquaintances to me. however, i am desperate for some serious profound relationships in my life. i don't know whether i am just incapable of forming relationships in general or whether i'm someone people don't want to be friends with. the fact that i've been single since forever doesn't really help my mindset. despite this mindset, i'm not a depressed person or generally someone dragging others down. i have been told before that my attitude towards life has changed people's day for the better. so here's my question and at the same time tl;dr how to you get from being acquaintances to friends and ultimately best friends; and how do you maintain these relationships? | how do you form and maintain friendships? [f21] | 67jmsf | you increase contact and depth of conversation over time. | relationship_advice | 67jmsf |
it is very hard to put into words how it feels, but i am going to try to pin it; the episodes are frightening. in the moment, it feels like i am desperately trying to wake myself up from a dream. you know when you're in a dream and start becoming lucid, and realize it isnt real and mentally struggle your consciousness awake? the episodes feel like that, except reality is the dream and i have to escape it. in the moment, it feels like i am struggling to wake myself up, and it's terrifying because it feels like dying. i say dying because, in my head i know i am not asleep. its disconcerting to feel like you are trying to wake up from the waking world. its sickening because you realize that can only mean that reality is not real. that where i am existing consciously, it isnt real, that life isnt real and i need to wake up/escape. but i am convinced if i do it successfully it means i am going to deatch my consciousness from my body and i will die. like my body will just stop breathing without me in it and i dont know for sure if i really will wake up to someyhing else, or if i will just make a irreparable mistake and wont be able to go back. that uncertainity makes me panic. it feels like i am both struggling to escape and struggling to stay attached at the same time. my body has physical symptoms. which later i realized match those of a panic attack. my heart beats so hard it hurts, i get these awful pressure headaches, i feel weak/nauseous/lightheaded. after the episodes the feeling of being detached sort of persists for a bit. you know that voice you had as a kid that tells you the bump in the night is a boogeyman in your bed? that voice tells me im feeling floaty and weird because my consciousness nearly got ripped from my body and, for the moment, doesnt feel 'right' again being back in it. i ground myself by breathing slowly and recalling 'real' sensations, like the smell of earth, or the feeling of grass in my hands. when i come back to normal, i feel fine. rational. but it can take a while to feel that way. sometimes i feel like i'm sort of just on autopilot, waiting for things to feel normal again. when i rationalize i know this is because of my depression. i have always thought i can deal with it well but recently i have become aware that something has changed, cant really put my finger on what, but in any case i am not dealing well with the struggles i used to be able to overcome. its beckme very overwhelming, stressful, i am more anxious and have depressive bouts. at a point two years ago i had only one episode, which i legitmately freaked out over. my first time experiencing anything like it. i had some rare moments of existential crisis where i might sort of become aware that i am literally just thoughts trapped inside a skull and one day the body will expire and i dont know what will happen to me. that freaks me out. but that was the first time i ever really experienced the sort of thing i just described as a derealization episode. at that time i thought i had choked in my sleep and nearly died, or that something was trying to possess my body by catching me in my sleep and trying to push me out of it (again. that weird imaginative voice that comes up with reasons for the unexplainable). now i know more about derealization, it releives me to know that it is a shared condition among other people, even if not every experience is the same. that i am not actually going insane and all these weird things i think are happening are as explainable as sleep paralysis. but right now i just came out of a particularly intense episode. i am worried because, after snapping out of it now, i am just realizing that i am after all not coping well with my depression and anxiety. and i dont know how to follow up on it. when you realized something was wrong, did you go to a therapist? your normal gp? is there medication i can take? what did you do to take the first steps in getting help? i worry they will think i'm making it all up, or that they wont take me seriously. but i think its come to a point where i need to out those fears and concerns aside because its become too much to bear now. i know i need some outside help but i feel sorta lost. i read your posts about feeling alone because theres no one to talk to who understands--no one in my life has probably even heard of it, or would have advice about what to do, or share the experience. its disconcerting. i dont know much about derealization to begin with i guess. when i was coming out of this episode about 3 hours ago, i stressed that i might actually snap, lose touch with my rationale, completely lose control and autonomy of my body and mind. i worry i might lose my sanity and be put into a ward to care for me because i am stuck in this perception of nothing being real (has that ever happened to anyone? permanantly become stuck in an episode?) and unable to function real-world. in any case i guess i'm just looking to hear how you first went about approaching/confronting your derealization for the first time. more about your coping mechanisms and lifestyle strategies. it might help me out. i'm super freaking tired now and so i will sleep and revisit this tomorrow. its sunday tomorrow, so whatever steps i take will have to wait till monday. ugh. stay clear guys. xo | i'd like to know how to start confronting derealization | e3wttv | your post really helped me, thanks for sharing your insights. i love the connections you made to the dream state and sleep paralysis. i have a psychiatrist that i see for therapy that has helped me a ton. she is a meditator with a lot of buddhist training which helps but i don't think it's necessary. there are some medications that help some people at least. i find a lot of help from spiritual study though it can also be quite ungrounding so it helps to have a teacher that understands both the existential side and the need to stay grounded. i found this post to be really helpful too: WEBLINK i think for me, the problem isn't that i don't fully know what is true, but that i have this intense need to figure out and know what is true. it feels so urgent and critical, and like until i can understand and figure things out, i am in great danger. but in fact, there is so much that we cannot know, that no one knows. i often feel like i need to know everything and i feel as though i cannot trust anything until i can know for sure (which actually wouldn't require any trust at all). or i feel like i do have some important existential thing figured out, and what i have figured out is terrifying, way too terrifying to live with/accept. when i am feeling this anxious need to know and figure things out, i tell myself over and over, i don't know and that's ok. i remind myself that it's ok not to know what is real. it's ok that my reality is different than anyone else's and that their reality is different from anyone else's as well. everything i fear may or may not be true, and that's ok. i'm going to die someday and that's ok. i don't know what that'll be like or what comes after and that's ok. trying to practice acceptance, a willingness to not know everything, and perhaps some trust that i don't actually need to know everything and never can is helpful and calming to me. i also try to focus on very practical things that i know will help ground me and experience life more healthily -- eating better, drinking water, getting regular sleep, getting some physical activity in, interacting with other people, journaling, meditating, etc. even though it can be hard to believe they will help or do anything at all, you have to try to remember that that is your depression and obsession and anxiety lying to you. they will help stabilize you and grow into a stronger and healthier person. good luck to you. | dpdr | e3wttv |
31f here. i was first diagnosed at age 25 and didn't start taking medication until about a year and a half ago (it took me a while to get over the idea that i just needed to try harder somehow). i'm having a problem with my pharmacy where they claim they didn't get the prescription from my doctor, when i know she sent it. it finally got resolved and i can go pick it up today. after 3 weekdays of not having my medication, i can barely conceptualize how i functioned at all without it. i can't believe i got through college and graduate school like this. it was awful, i was put on academic probation twice, accused of "not being dedicated to the program," my grades were all over the map, i lurched from depressive episode to depressive episode. . . but somehow i made it through. | how did i live before concerta? | jjtf30 | oh my god. they didn't refill my concerta. they refilled my sertraline (zoloft). i wasn't out of zoloft. i'm out of concerta. i got the text that my prescription was ready and i thought i was going to be all set for tomorrow. now i have to try to struggle through another brain fog day. i can't believe this. this is ridiculous. | adhd | jjtf30 |
i work as a case manager and this one drives me nuts a lot. the patient should be up and walking shorty after surgery, and often goes home the same day or next day. why would an scd be indicated in this situation? | why do some surgeons order scd's postoperatively for shoulder scopes and outpatient surgeries? | 9dmx6x | probably because it's a standard, automated post-op order set. | askdocs | 9dmx6x |
i'm 25 i had mono this past november-january. i feel like i never fully got better. i'm overly aware of myself and have been having frequent panic attacks. i don't ever remember feeling this way prior to having mono. i went back to the md who dx me with mono during an attack he said it was allergies and gave me xanax.5 i was taking them daily. i found a new physician who wants me off the meds and recommends tapering down to .25 and then to as needed. anyone else with similar experience? | r/anxiety have you ever had mono? do you believe it's related? | tq56t | psych counselor here: it is doubtful that mono is directly related with anxiety. however, excessive anxiety releases the stress hormone cortisol, which suppresses the immune system- making it easier for you to get sick. as for xanax- be very careful with that. it is intended for a few weeks max. longer than that and you risk both brain damage and dependence. | anxiety | tq56t |
my girlfriend and i have been together about a year. i don't love her, but we do work really well together, have a lot of fun, the sex is great, she's very patient and always right by my side. i don't love her though. she's just a really good and convenient buddy who i couldn't ask more of. am i a fool for thinking of leaving? being 21 i think i should probably move on and find someone i really do love, but man if i can't find anyone else this good i'll be kicking myself the rest of my life. tldr: stay with the girl who checks all my boxes but i don't love, or continue on with the search for love? | it's not love but there also isn't anything bad [21/m] | 6ynb15 | if you don't love her, the good stuff will wane over time. | relationship_advice | 6ynb15 |
hi, majority of the time my heart rate goes up dramatically whenever i go out.let's say that my heart rate fluctates between 80-100 when i'm at outdoors.how many years that would cost me?because i am sick of measuring my heart rate every ten minute to check if its normal or not.if it's taking 20 years or something i'm okay with that.please give me honest answers. | how many years does anxiety disorder(s) shave off your life? | cjw8sb | there's no one answer for this one. chronic anxiety and stress on it's own can take years off your life, but most of it has to do with the habits you form around your anxiety. are you smoking cigarettes, drinking, or using other drugs to cope? are you either foregoing meals or binge eating to cope? are you isolating too much? is your anxiety impacting your ability to exercise regularly? these are just a few example of ways anxiety can impact your health. the consequences of these behavioral problems that can result from anxiety will do much more to take years off of your life than the feeling of anxiety itself. | anxiety | cjw8sb |
//i am a very aggressive person. it is not a great thing ,but sometimes it is all you need. regardless of that , i enjoy the release i get when i am angry. so much so , i have a reason to believe that i get angry on purpose,so that i could get that release again. //kind of like why some people masturbate so much. they don't care about the process , all they crave for is the feeling of release //and there is also the factor of the satisfying feeling of domination over another person. //maybe it is hormones,cause i have excess testosterone , but it is still an interesting and plausible theory. | am i the only one who kind of enjoys being angry? [addiction to the catharsis of anger] | 4bw70x | am psychologist who teaches anger management. that anger is associated with escape (from some other more painful emotion like fear or shame; anger as a secondary reactive emotion), and that the self righteousness associated with anger and the feeling of efficacy associated with dominance is pleasurable is well known. good that you see it, as that is a first step towards figuring out a better way to handle yourself. | anger | 4bw70x |
as i've worked on my recovery, i've come to realize i detest this term. i think in many cases it trivializes where we were at as we headed towards our bottom and seeks to grant some legitimacy to our behavior. i would certainly have described myself as "functional" in my alcoholism, but that was my diseased brain trying to hold on to any reason it can for drinking- truth was i was headed for a divorce, should have lost my job, and was only not in jail because i hadn't gotten caught yet (sure dinged the hell out of my car's fenders, though). and yet that's "functional". delusional is probably more accurate. | anybody else hate the term "functional alcoholic"? | 8dni80 | i attend another 12 step fellowship where we talk about the "facade of functionality", which i identified with a lot more myself... thought i was functional when i first came in, but i was just lying to myself. | alcoholicsanonymous | 8dni80 |
let's look at how far we've come. whether you've cut down on some unhealthy habits, you've decided to join a gym or you finally hit that deadlift goal. no matter how big or small progress is fantastic and something to be celebrated! so what are you proud of this week? | friday progress! | 3jmcu8 | yesterday was squats, today sitting is uncomfortable. can't wait for the full-blown 2nddaydoms tomorrow. | eood | 3jmcu8 |
hi! i've been seeing dbt exercises only but i'm really confused. i cannot find websites in my own language and it's been a long ride trying to express myself in a language that isn't mine. i've also been a couple of years without '' awareness / realization '' and it make it very difficult to take actions for what i'm experiencing. i have anger issues mainly and it's the reason i want to do dbt to heal! i don't have support from my family, i have no friends & i cannot have a therapist / counsellor because i have no money and live far away from everything literally. i feel lost and numb. i need support ! thank you. merci beaucoup si y'a des français qui ont lu cela hésiter pas à venir en pv | don't know where to start, too many issues and zero help | h09qm0 | la chose la plus proche que j'ai pu trouver est la suivante, mais je pense qu'ils sont destinés aux praticiens, pas aux patients. je ne connais pas assez le français pour savoir s'ils ont ce que vous cherchez. je crois que celui de 2000 correspond davantage à ce que vous recherchez. linehan, m.m. (2000). traitement cognitivo-comportemental du trouble de personnalité état-limite. genève: médecine & hygiène. linehan, m.m. (2017). manuel d’entraînement aux compétences tcd, 2e édition. traduction de paco prada, rosetta nicastro, nader perroud, genève : médecine & hygiène. bien qu'il ne soit pas spécifique à dbt, ce site web contient des ressources que vous pourriez trouver utiles.[WEBLINK](WEBLINK) &#x200b; veuillez pardonner ma traduction google: ne parle pas français. | dbtselfhelp | h09qm0 |
i have made it to 30 days and i haven't gone to aa and i will tell you why although this may sound stupid and irrational. i would like to believe that my decision not to go to aa is a somewhat educated decision. i know that in order for aa to work you need to go on a continuous basis and you need to follow the 12 steps. i also know that this has worked for countless people everywhere. my decision not to go is based on what i know about myself. first and foremost i have a horrible time with following through on things which causes me stress. i also have a problem with following directions all the time, which causes me stress. i have a problem with people counting on me for things, in fact the more people count on me for something the more stressed out i become. as you can see there is a pattern forming here, a lot of things cause me stress. for the most part i can avoid the things that cause me stress for those things that i can't avoid i turn to alcohol. so my theory, up to this point, is to avoid adding another stresser to my life. like i said it may sound crazy but that is how my twisted mind works. | woot woot, 30 days!!!! without aa | 1h76rr | first of all congratulations on 30 days. i will say that the twelve steps are designed so that some of the things you mentioned are addressed so they don't cause you stress in the future. i don't know what your goal is with sobriety, but if you are attempting to be abstinent for a significant period of time, i can promise you things that stress you will come up. especially in the categories you listed. all that said, i don't recommend going at it without a program of recovery. because when those things come up if you don't have any new tools to help you out then you will almost invariably resort to your old tool. the great thing is you have options in respect to what program you want to work. your sobriety is your own, so do as you please, but i do know going at it without any support or program will be exponentially harder. again congratulations on the big 30 and i wish you luck on having that number continuing to rise. | stopdrinking | 1h76rr |
throwaway because peeps we know use reddit. my boyfriend of just over a year and i have been getting into fights a bit more frequently lately, usually because of his behaviour and my reactions to it, and coping with this is proving a bit difficult. we're both very stressed at the moment because of job difficulties, and both acknowledge that this is probably making things a lot worse than they actually are. we both love each other dearly and want to make this work- hence why i'm looking for some advice. our problems usually stem from the same two issues: him not thinking before speaking or acting, and his words/actions then triggering my anxiety/depression/general issues stemming from childhood. for example, last night he was over 40mins late home from work and didn't text me to explain why this was (totally innocent, he was giving someone a lift), and i panicked and got upset. i thought he might be dead, because anxiety. today, he jokingly asked me which one of my kid siblings i preferred, because all parents/parental figures have a favourite, and semi-jokingly but semi-not said i was lying when i said neither and that i love them equally. in both of these situations, i explained why i'd become upset, and suggested that he maybe think things through before talking/acting. equally, i've recognised that i need to stop overreacting to things. the problem is, my bf has never ever been able to take any kind of criticism well. he is of the opinion that criticising people should never be done because it's only harmful, and i definitely get that. but i now feel like i can't express when i'm unhappy with his behaviour or with anything in the relationship, because it just gets the response of "i feel like you're criticising me too much". i don't know how to express worries or hurt without him taking it as criticism and getting upset himself. sometimes, his behaviour is the problem and i feel like i should express that so that he can modify his behaviour and grow as a person, which is how i'd like him to deal with anything negative that i do as well. but he just can't accept criticism of any form. it's not even like he thinks he's perfect and has no flaws- he's said to me that he knows he does. he just doesn't seem to like them being pointed out, or want to do anything about them. does anyone know how i can approach this tactfully and without upsetting him more? i know that nobody likes receiving criticism, but i feel like it is necessary sometimes!! | [22/f] advice on how to deal with bf [25/m] who reacts badly to criticism. | 6u9t4r | he's either immature or it's a personality trait. ask him what the best way is to give him constructive criticism | relationship_advice | 6u9t4r |
WEBLINK one might have anticipated that easier access to medication would lead to improved health and, ideally, better educational performance. instead, we found evidence that the children using stimulants fared slightly worse. after the insurance expansion, the quebec children experienced more depression and anxiety -- problems that could be side effects of stimulant medication. meanwhile, there was little evidence of any benefits for the children's schooling. on the contrary, we found their chances of progressing through school without repeating a grade to be somewhat lower than they had been before the insurance expansion and lower than those of children in the rest of canada. their probability of high school graduation likewise declined a bit. after the insurance policy change, more boys than girls started using stimulants, including many whose initial adhd symptoms were minimal. among girls, increased stimulant use was more concentrated among those with high initial levels of adhd symptoms. even so, the added stimulant use among girls was associated with more symptoms of anxiety and depression, falling math scores, and a decline in the probability they would go on to get a post-secondary education. | ritalin and adderall associated with worse performance in school | 2a2txg | a good thing to keep in mind is that, in children, there are many issues that, to a poorly trained or non-thorough practitioner, can disguise themselves as adhd. these include: depression, anxiety, ocd, early onset bipolar disorder, sleep deprivation, problems at home, bullying, conduct disorder, and hyperthyroidism to name a few. given that many parents are more comfortable taking their child to a gp or pediatrician rather than a psychiatrist or psychologist (where these possible other issues could be explored) the child is more likely to be slapped with an adhd diagnosis and given said medication than had they seen a mental health practitioner. secondly, now-a-days (at least in america) physicians are overworked and often do not have the time or energy to sit down for a true differential diagnosis process. i would imagine (and is probably just speculative and anecdotal) that this can lead to stimulant prescriptions to non-adhd children. | adhd | 2a2txg |
i am a hard worker! and well spoken and professional. i used to dress casually, which i dont anymore (thinking that was the problem) i do get recognized but the general overview of me is that i'm a relaxed person with life handed to him on a silver spoon. this has to change!! its so far from true. its funny because when younger- i loved that people thought that bout me. one of those 'how does he do it'- partied way too hard and still made honors. so. how do i change this?? how do i make management see me as a more serious employee | how can i come off as hardworking and serious? | 8gixsh | simply put, be hardworking and serious. i'd need to know what type of job you're doing to give more specific advice. as for general advice, for the hardworking part: show up early, leave late, finish your tasks on time and ask if there's anything else you can help with. don't get caught on your cellphone doing non-related work activities when not on your lunch break. limit smoke breaks if you smoke and be very quick about them. as for the serious part: above all else, be organized. put together reports to show your bosses what you've accomplished, what problems you've run into, and what are your plans for the coming week/month. do it in a way that looks like you're just stating facts and not trying to brown-nose. be friendly but don't be the joker at your job. don't complain or gossip about bosses or other employees ever. don't talk in the office or to other employees about your partying way too hard. also a good idea not to drink/party with co-workers. anything you do/say while at a bar or party with co-workers can and probably will influence how you're perceived in the office even by those who weren't present. | socialskills | 8gixsh |
anyone else feel like a really big people pleaser? i feel so fake when i talk to people, i just say what people want to hear even if i have no clue what they are talking about or sometimes even if i disagree. i can’t stop myself. also i find it so hard to make conversation with anyone i talk to basically. not sure if it’s just me or something with adhd. just thought i’d ask. thanks in advance for anyone who replies! | adhd and being overly nice | c82zs7 | for me, the worst thing is constantly worrying if i've upset someone. especially in written text for some reason. | adhd | c82zs7 |
**age:** 24 **sex:** female **height:** 5'6" **weight:** 194lbs **race:** hispanic **duration of complaint:** a little over 2 weeks depending on medication adherence. **any existing relevant medical issues (if any):** asthma, adhd, major depressive disorder (recurring), ptsd, gad. **current medications (if any):** vyvanse 70mg, zoloft 50mg, vistaril 50mg prn for anxiety/sleep, 25mg meclizine prn for dizziness, 25mg phenergan prn for nausea, zyrtec 10mg, breo inhaler 100/25 mcg, proair hfa 90mcg inhaler, nexplanon birth control implant, vitamin d2 50,000 unit capsule 1x weekly. a couple weeks ago i checked myself into a behavioral health hospital because i had a breakdown after shitty gen chem lab experience at school, prompted by me feeling like my adhd meds weren't working, in addition to dizziness prior to lab and hand tremors during lab (typically only get the hand tremors when i take the rescue inhaler, but i didn't need to take it before lab). back in december my psychiatrist and i agreed that my depression relapsed, so i got back onto 25mg of pristiq to start out with, but this time i got to a point of suicidal ideations with a plan, so i didn't feel safe waiting until my next psychiatry appointment to up the dose or change medications. i was at the hospital for 8 days. at the hospital they switched me to 75mg of effexor from pristiq, and had 100mg of vistaril prn for sleep or anxiety for every patient. i took it most nights i was there because i was desperate for sleep and it helped a little with falling asleep, just not at all for staying asleep (tossed and turned worse than i ever have). my inhalers were swapped for some blue inhaler instead of my red rescue inhaler, and advair 1x a day (it was prescribed 2x per day but i opted to only take it at night because that's what i was used to with the breo and no one explained to me why they prescribed it 2x instead 1x). i only felt like i had to use the rescue inhaler a couple times during the 8 days at the hospital. about an hour and a half or 2 hours after i had taken my morning meds on my 2nd day of the effexor xr, i started getting really disconcerting physical symptoms with a sudden onset. it started feeling like i was on the verge of passing out, my heart was pounding, it felt a little hard to breathe, dull stomach pain with and without nausea, i was super lightheaded/dizzy, and no amount of deep breathing and laying down in a quiet room would help me get my heart rate to come down. sometimes i'd get sharp headaches and chest pains in addition to everything else, as well as a flutter feeling in my chest (or best i can describe it as is the feeling you get when your muscle twitches, except in my chest). &#x200b; after being home and still having these issues with more consistent chest pain and our pa also pushing anxiety for the most part, i've been looking at the info sheets for my meds. the zoloft, breo, proair, and vistaril all have a warning about qt prolongation. i haven't taken the vistaril since being at the hospital, and the symptoms have been a little less intense. the pa suggested stopping the vyvanse. after 3 days of that there was a small improvement in that the symptoms didn't hit me like a truck when they would start. i stopped taking my inhalers just to see what would happen (too scared to gamble stopping the zoloft) and there was a lot more improvement in symptoms throughout the day. the only day i've had zero symptoms was when i had a mid-morning abdominal ultrasound to check my gallbladder and couldn't eat or drink anything for 8 hours prior, and since i was feeling significantly better physically i just didn't take anything for the rest of the day to see if the symptoms would come back at any point. i felt completely fine for the rest of the day until a headache and some nausea at bed time. i have an ekg scheduled for later this week to follow up on an "abnormal" ekg from summer 2017 that i never ended up following up on because we were moving at the time that had notes saying "sinus rhythm with sinus arrhythmia, possible left atrial enlargement \[-0.1mv p wave in v1/v2\], marked right axis deviation \[qrs axis > 100\], abnormal ecg". i got that ekg after having chest pains and trouble breathing. sometime prior to that i had a much more intense and terrifying, but similar episode to what's going on now where i did pass out momentarily after taking my breo inhaler, fluconazole, and mirtazapine at the same time in the evening and adderall er and pristiq earlier that morning. the urgent care i went to for that said it was "probably serotonin syndrome" from the antidepressants and that it couldn't be the fluconazole despite it being the only new medication i took that night, and then they sent me home. **since trying to read up on qt prolongation, i do see it's rare to have it without fainting. the pa hasn't expressed any worry about any of my medication except for my vyvanse. i still don't feel like it's all anxiety. is it worth asking the pa about the possibility of drug induced qt prolongation?** | should i ask my pa about drug induced qt prolongation? | al75vz | long qt syndrome is serious, but as a serious consequence of multiple medications it's actually rare unless it's a truly staggering number of meds or they're increasing qt on top of an underlying long qt syndrome. unusually long qt usually has no symptoms except for sudden fatal arrhythmias, so what you're describing doesn't sound like that. it's also a question that's very easy to answer. a single ekg will give your qtc and whether there's any concern, although i'll caution that the automatic qtc read is usually a relatively bad calculation for use when your heart rate is higher or lower than the nominal average. | askdocs | al75vz |
20m usa. i've been feeling depressed for a long while now. hopefully i can get an appointment today to see my doctor. i've been having suicidal ideations, basically just thinking about my death, thinking it might be the best option for me. ( i know its not, i haven't tried anything, haven't ever hurt myself or ever plan to). how can i bring this up to my doctor???? these thoughts just keep popping in my head and its terrifying. i don't want to to seek help just to be locked away in a psyc ward. | how to talk to my doctor about depression/ suicidal ideations | hon69k | you can talk to your doctor, but i'm not going to mislead. there are doctors who are comfortable with suicidal thinking, and there are doctors who are not. the latter might be quick to try to dump you on psychiatry. most psychiatrists in most places wouldn't hospitalize you for being depressed for a long time—because it's often not appropriate treatment—but you might waste time in an er before a psychiatrist sends you home. it would go better if you're clear from the outset that there's nothing you're about to do, just that you're feeling depressed. a psychiatrist would be the right kind of doctor to treat this and probably more comfortable with chronic suicidal thinking, but getting in to see a psychiatrist can be a very long wait. | askdocs | hon69k |
hello docs, eh i'm sweating from panic. experiencing very worrisome symptoms in the past 2 months, but i was trying to attribute them to weed withdrawal. age: 20 have been smoking weed of very bad quality for 2 years, every day, without knowing that it was of such quality. (could be laced with detergent or heroin) each joint was half tobacco, half weed approximately. have also been smoking cigarettes for 2 years, around 1.25 pack a day. last few months i've only smoked high quality weed, but i'm scared about my past habits. anyway i just got an email with my tnf-alpha levels being elevated - and i'm extremely concerned. [**8,6** | ↑ 0,0-8,1 ng/l] am i correct by assuming that this can't be due to weed withdrawal, and is associated with cancer only? will go to the doctors tomorrow obviosuly, but i really want to know. other stuff being out of bounds: * erythrocytes **6,09** ↑ 4,20-5,70 x10^12/l * granulocytes **75,3** ↑ 43,0-65,0 % * lymphocytes **18,7** ↓ 20,5-46,5 % * serum albumin **53,4** ↑ 35-52 g/l * serum uric acid **440** ↑ 208-428 µmol/l * bilirubin total **49** ↑ 5,0-21,0 µmol/l * direct bilirubin **9,2** ↑ 0,0-3,4 µmol/l * vitamin d **29,26** nmol/l (insufficient 25-75, deficient <25) * serum electrophoresys albumin **66,4** | 53,8 - 65,2 * serum electrophoresys beta globulin **8,4** | 8,6 - 14,8 my symptoms: * intermittent rib or lung discomfort on the right side, sometimes left side as well (feels like it's under my ribs, in a wider area) * jaundice in my eye whites * pain in my fingertips on fingers and toes (hopefully not clubbing) * feels like my chest lymph nodes could be enlarged, but x-ray was clear (read on many sources how they can often not show on an x-ray) * lymph node above left collarbone is easily palpable, feels soft (sometimes harder) and rubbery, movable, but been this way for many years * sometimes i feel itchy at night * my liver being on the upper normal limit (size-related) * had a persistent cough for 2 months, while i was quitting weed, but it is gone * had teary, red eyes in the morning, but this is gone as well * alcohol intolerance * had night sweats for 2 nights in a row, in first days of weed withdrawal * lost weight (not sure exactly how much, around 5-6kg in the past month) any help is massively appreciated! | [panicking] my tnf-alpha levels are elevated | 8d0ts5 | tnfα definitely isn't only associated with cancer. it's a marker, and in fact a driver, of inflammation. it will be elevated in cancer, but much more commonly in other inflammatory conditions including rheumatoid, like arthritis, or even infectious. since you didn't list your symptoms it's hard to say more. | askdocs | 8d0ts5 |
so, i am reaching out for help for my husband on his behalf as he is going through a depressed cycle right now . we don't know what type of doctor we should be searching for and would love help. my husband is 28 and back in school for his masters. he was valedictorian in high school and always has a 4.0 in all classes. he is ending his career in school and now is beginning the task of job hunting. the main issue he runs into when either job hunting or when he is in the work force is that he freezes up when he thinks he is going to fail. he will freeze up and not be able to get the simplest of tasks done. he gets severely depressed and it takes a few days for him to come back to his normal self. he is a hard worker, but when he works, he just gets into a cycle of "i am not good enough, i don't know enough, i am a failure." i will try as much as i can to help, but we know that this issue is best handled by a professional. what type of doctor should we be reaching out to? thanks for any and all help | don't know where to start | eyce2r | doesn’t need to be a dr unless you’re looking for medication. therapists/counselors can be masters level (clinical mental health degrees, marriage and family counseling, or social work) or doctoral level psychologists. depending where you live they can have different acronyms to designate the license or certification. in the us you might see lmhc, lpc (lpcc are people working towards full licensing), lmft (mftc working towards full licensing), lcsw, phd, psyd (there’s perhaps some i’m forgetting). one recommendation i might make is to find someone who does emotionally focused therapy as the internal messages you’ve described are attachment based meanings. i’m slightly biased in that as i’m working towards certification in that type of therapy. you can search therapists from the iceeft website. psychology today is another resource to search by area and insurance etc. | askatherapist | eyce2r |
hi ! so i’m 14, i live in the uk and i struggle from anxiety and severe depression (diagnosed before anybody comes for me). i recently had my third attempt which led me to stay off school for a while. my mum decided i was unfit to go to school and now i’ve been off for a couple months (since september time). it’s been through social services and camhs and both have stated it’s a valid reason to miss school. it’s been authorised by the school as well. has anyone else had this go on? i’m scared because people have said i could get taken away from home since i’m not in school at the moment. help !! | is mental health a reason to stay off school ? | eompbi | uk shrink here - yep you're good. as long as all professionals and you are communicating with each other about your situation you won't be in any bother. | mentalhealth | eompbi |
* 23 * male * 175 cm * 90 kg * depression, gad, autism * venlafaxine 225 mg + bupropion 150 mg ------------- i'm taking antidepressants (venlafaxine and bupropion) and i wonder if the risk of dementia is increased because of this. is there a difference between the different classes when it comes down to dementia or alzheimers disease? | do antidepressants increase risk of dementia? | jhzutl | there is a link between anticholinergic medications and risk of dementia later, although it may not be as clear as the first paper that made a splash in newspapers suggests. venlafaxine and bupropion are not anticholinergic, and there is no reason to think they increase dementia risk. | askdocs | jhzutl |
like somebody will say/do something that sets you off and then you no joke plan out how you'd murder them but you don't actually go through with it due to not wanting to go to hell if it exists + the easiness of getting caught? i can't talk to a therapist about it yet because getting my insurance figured out, but how do you guys deal with extreme rage like that? i cut myself on my leg a few days ago which kinda helps but yeah | how do y'all deal with wanting to kill people? | 9s14hf | try to notice that the thoughts are happening while they are happening. don't freak out. its just a horror movie in your head, it doesn't have to be you. watch the thoughts and watch them change. look underneath the rage. there's usually some other uncomfortable feelings hanging around too like feeling very vulnerable. | bpd | 9s14hf |
hello, and thank you for maintaining this community. \(trying again properly.\) my age is 29, i am of about 1,68m height, \~50kg weight, female, no medications, no smoking for the last 5 to 6 years, no major medical issues besides anaemia. a few years ago, i voluntarily ingested and involuntarily vomited large amounts of nsaid tablets. i was treated with activated charcoal through a nasogastric tube, and also hospitalised for laryngeal oedema. during my stay, i recall being given allergy medication. afterwards, my doctors said it is safe to use those nsaid tablets again, and here comes my question. is it possible that this is wrong? if i took one, could i potentially develop an allergic reaction, similarly to that time? or was that only caused by the vomiting? thank you for your time. | a question of precaution | 8lls8z | if you had an allergic reaction it's not a good idea to take the same medications again. we can't be certain of what happened and why; we don't have the full information and weren't there. the doctors who were there seems to think that it wasn't an allergic reaction but instead was a response to the overdose and vomiting, and they are the ones in a position to know. | askdocs | 8lls8z |
i started cbd about a year ago and am now on a 63 day headspace streak. but this weekend has been the toughest in several months. any advice on overcoming what seem to be a plateau? i know what set it off. something small but a constant source of angst for me. | i thought i was improving | dxs4dp | i think you gotta examine that trigger, however small. | anxiety | dxs4dp |
how are things going for you? do you need some advice to help you get out of a rut? or are you cruising along and have some tips to share? | [discussion] need motivational advice? - 2016 week 36 | 5172hc | this is probably more of a health issue, but i just feel ridiculously groggy every morning and its thwarting my efforts to get up earlier. i don't even have the presence of mind to do anything but the bare minimum routine. but if i try to go to sleep earlier at night, i just can't seem to turn my brain off. any ideas for feeling more rested when i wake up? | getmotivated | 5172hc |
i'm 17f, and i have been getting these weird 'episodes' throughout my life, only now it's getting worse and frequent. what happens is that i'll feel a sudden intense wave of panic. my heart will start beating really fast, i'll shake a lot and at times, i'll feel like i might faint. i might have trouble breathing, too. i feel like crying or that i'm going crazy, and i can't seem to brush this 'sensation' off. they last for at most 10 minutes, but they're intense, and can come back later on in the day. last time, it only happens when i feel extremely anxious or scared about something, but ever since this week started, it can happen up to thrice a day out of nowhere. this week, i noticed that my sudden hypersensitivity of sounds (e.g repetitive annoying sounds like the tapping and clicking of a pen, repeated knocking on the table) can trigger the said sensation. i'm only reaching out because i can't take it anymore. it is affecting me in school, especially when a lot of the 'attacks' seem to happen in school, and i can't really seem to focus after that. i don't even know what is happening to me and i wish to do something about it. i'm guessing it's panic attacks, but then again i definitely wouldn't know any better. to give a little background, i am in perfect health mentally and physically (no medical conditions). i have had a hard time due to some family matters and was sent for school counselling last time. i wanted to go for therapy but dimissed the idea. (idk if this info helps but i'll just put it here) i would seek medical advice, but my idiot self has gone to the doctors several times before with shittyass false claims (e.g. thinking that there was a physical and serious problem with my body when it was just me exercising vigorously after a long time...lol) so i wouldn't want to go there again for something trivial/not serious/nothing. what is this phenomenon that i'm experiencing?should i seek medical advice? i don't know how much longer i can deal with this, and i honestly just want to get it over with. | please help. i'm desperate. | i8c7hk | you are listing some classical symptoms of a [panic disorder](WEBLINK). given your age a physical cause is a lot less likely. | askdocs | i8c7hk |
good morning all, so glad to say i’ve not been on here much lately as i feel i’m doing really well with my anxiety and thoughts but i have a question. my girlfriends father had schizophrenia when he was 28 and sadly passed away when he was 31 but i know it says it runs in families but i’m seeing mixed reviews online about this. my girlfriend is a normal girl who lives a good healthy and fun life but she has never questioned “what if i get this” well not to me anyways. she never really talks about her dad but my question is is she guaranteed to get this when she is older? my girlfriend is 21 and only suffers from a little bit of anxiety now and then but nothing more a few low moods now and then but on medication for it. i have heard that chances are still very low to nil for someone with a parent having the illness but it’s now making me worry about it and i have heard that you’d notice signs especially in someone you love and i’ll be honest i see no signs. am i just worrying over nothing? thanks brandon | schizophrenia question... | db8lg9 | assuming the diagnosis is sound, the risk increases from 1% to 1.1%. theres probably bigger risks in her genes or lifestyle than this one. and its not like you can do anything about it anyway... | mentalhealth | db8lg9 |
i hate (hate) talking on the phone or video chatting. im not sure why though, can't seem to get over it, and it's gotten to the point where ive lost jobs, partners, and trust over it. talking on the phone or over skype just makes me nauseous and sends me into panic mode. is there anything i can do? | phone call anxiety? | eh7ydt | i think most ppl don’t actually like it. exposure is the only to combat this. get to a good psychologist. | anxietyhelp | eh7ydt |
i'm 20 years old. recently my boyfriend of two years dumped me, he said he just doesn't love me anymore. i've been fired from my job, and i was trying to go to community college. i'm such a loser. my period was about five days late i was getting nervous so i purchased a test, two positives. i can't do this. it's my ex boyfriends but i know he won't want anything to do with it. and i've been taking percocet like crazy since the break up so i probably screwed this baby up. i have guns, but i'm still scared. help me please | i just found out i'm pregnant and i can't take life anymore | 16ggym | ironically, being pregnant could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you (though if you want to have an abortion that is a-ok too) lots of programs are in place to help women who are pregnant or with young kids- both with counseling and eduction and housing and stuff like that. a good place to start would be planned parenthood (they do much more than abortions, don't believe the hype) and they can hook you up with resources. don despair-- things can and will get better. | suicidewatch | 16ggym |
i’ve been taking opioids for two months (i was first prescribed them then i started stealing them from my mom and sister after i ran out). the last time i took them was march 7 and i feel like i’m losing it. i’ve been looking through my whole house for some kind of drugs and there’s been a couple of times where i almost bought some. i want to see a therapist or some other mental health professional for this because i have no one to talk to but i’m worried for what they’ll think of me and that they’ll put me on the “don’t give drugs to” list. any advice? | if i were to see a therapist/mental health professional for substance abuse, what would happen? | fjo3d1 | you won't be placed on a drug list for seeing anyone. however, when you are prescribed controlled substances there is a database called the pdmp that many states use. you would most likely meet with the addiction specialist and complete an evaulation & discussion in which you both would collavoratively come up with a plan of action for getting you support that you need. you would get to decide if you wanted to follow through with recommendations or not and discuss alternatives. it is really nice to have support. you are most likely experiencing residual withdrawal symptoms and it helps to learn how to cope and work through the early stages of recovery. if you want to, you can call the alcohol and drug helpline which can answer any questions and help connect you with a professional. the national helpline number is 1-844-289-0879. please feel free to message me anytime if i can support you or answer any questions. | askatherapist | fjo3d1 |
so i have pretty severe ocd and depression. i saw a therapist maybe 2 years ago, she diagnosed me with these things but was also extremely rude and mocked my ocd compulsions. i'm already very ashamed of my ocd because it makes me disgusted by a family member and i feel really bad about it. so for her to mock me kinda confirmed this shame and makes me terrified to see a therapist again. i just moved to college and my depression/ocd is making it really rough for me. i don't really have any friends yet, and my parents arnt helping me at all with tuition so im extremely stressed about money. on top of all that, the one year anneversery of my friend committing suicide is coming up, so ive been feeling pretty shitty in general. i really feel like a therapist can help me but im so fucking terrified for some reason. any advice? | i need to see a therapist but im terrified | 77cj3c | go! please! you deserve happiness. you don’t have to live struggling with your mental health. thins can get better. i’m not sure what you’re afraid of specifically other than it being excruciatingly hard to trust and open up to a complete stranger, but i promise you most therapists have heard it all and are not there to judge. if you find someone is doing that go find a new one fast. regardless of experience or types of interventions used or skills taught the single biggest predictor of improvement is the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist. so just like you aren’t going to be everyone’s best friend - some therapists will work better for you than others. i do usually encourage people to give it more than 1 meeting—try 2-3 and if something isn’t working, tell the therapist. it is their job to adapt to help you not your job to take care of them or their feelings. | mentalhealth | 77cj3c |
my gf of 2 years has been talking to a guy for a few months now she had feelings for him, inappropriate pics were sent by him multiple times, she says she never sent anything and told him to stop but kept talking to him and idk if i can trust that she never reciprocated but her guilt overcame her she stopped talking to him but works with him and told me about it. she has smoked pot 2 times behind my back (i'm going into law enforcement and can't have that in my life) and i gave her a second chance after that but idk if i should move on or not i told her we're broken up but i still love and care about her but i don't know if i can trust her anymore any advise would be appreciated. | gf of 2 years emotionally cheated, need advice. | 67juqw | trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. when trust is broken one of three things can happen. you can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. the ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. that's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. it's just deeply personal. | relationship_advice | 67juqw |
i'm a 26 year old lesbian, i was currently in a relationship with whom i thought was the love of my life. we were together for about 3 years. i had went out got the fancy ring planed for the proposal and all. all of her close friends were involved in the planning. she had just started school about an hour away from home so i guess it would be considered a long distance relationship. well before i had the chance to ask she suddenly had trust issues, granted we started off kind of bad bc her family found out about her being gay and didn't approve, so i had a fling with a friend. but we managed, 3 years in and we were planning, family marriage, house, new careers and all. this all ended in about january....since feb i've been seeing someone, she's great almost everything i could want, independent, has her own place, but i just don't see the same outcome in the relationship that i did in my previous relationship. on top of that the now ex fiance now wants to have lunch this weekend and talk about being "friends" and asking if i still want my future with her. she's now got a bf i've got a gf and she's still in school about an hour away...the ex and i had looked into getting an apartment in august so we could be closer together. i'm just at a loss as to whether i should meet and talk to the ex and figure out what exactly she wants, or just cut everything off in general and just stay single forever.... | help needed 26/f and 20/f ...any real advice appreciated i'm at a loss at what to do here. long distance relations ship with my fiance ended and now she wants to talk about being friends, maybe more..after she's had time to think. | 6af1ad | if you think you might want to re-new things, and your current situation is less than promising, there's no harm in talking. | relationship_advice | 6af1ad |
i have depression, less severe than it used to be but still comes and goes. my whole life i not only have issues with finishing things i set out to do and feeling anxious or depressed on things. i can't seem to clean up well, i don't become a horder, i just stop cleaning and my whole floor of my room (i rent with roommates) becomes clothes and books and all sorts of stuff. i try and clean but stuff is where the other stuff should go and i get distracted to do other things or just make more of a mess than it was before. it becomes an overwhelming mess and i need to do a deep cleaning of all day a few times a year. i can't get into good habits, one of them being cleaning up regularly. i set things up to be patterns and set times to clean or do anything good, for that matter, and i get nowhere very quickly. same thing happened with an old car of mine i once had. i've gotten better on this, car is spotless inside and out now. it's impacting my self worth and mental well being. | is this adult add? something else? | 7088rg | probably more related to your depression, i think. | mentalhealth | 7088rg |
men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. the sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. to them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. they are restless, irritable and discontented unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. after they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. this is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery. | from the doctor's opinion - the most succinct description of alcoholism i've ever heard | d972bu | this is the paragraph that sold me on the rest of the book. i was blown away that they described me in a way i couldn’t even articulate to others. unbelievable how spot on this was for me. story of my drinking summed up right there | alcoholicsanonymous | d972bu |
a couple of years ago, i went through really hard times. a lot of things needlessly out of my control because of two evil people. these were two different scenarios that happened around the same time, and dealing with the situation really overwhelmed me for about a year. the heightened stress level really messed me up, and i have developed some anxiety issues that keep coming back. i used to be very calm, but now i avoid all stresses and i can't tolerate negative stimuli, and i am very easy to anger. i don't really know what to do about my issue. my issues have improved, but it comes and goes. i just want to go back to my confident self of two years ago. it even sounds stupid when i verbalize it. not to trivialize war veterans' hardships, but the best description of my issue is that it's ptsd-like. i was thinking of asking my doctor for anxiety medication, but i am worried that it'll just flatten my mood and i'll be zomby-like. | people who are on antidepressants or anxiety medications, what's the process of getting a prescription? how long does it take to feel an improvement in behavior/attitude? | 1v6hw6 | have you considered going to see a therapist? it takes a little more time, but often therapists are equally effective to medicine. rather than being on a pill for 4-6 weeks before you feel a significant change, you go to therapy around once a week and feel an improvement by around 8 weeks, or so (obviously your milage may vary). with anxiety medication, it depends on whether you're on a profilactic dose or a prn (as needed) dose. on the former, you'll probably feel chilled out most of the time, until your body habituates to the medication. then the risk of addiction is high. the latter is what's far more likely, and you'll have ups, and when you have downs you take a pill and will feel better. with therapy, you'll learn techniques to first help you calm down, and eventually keep the anxiety at bay, to finally not feeling it. again, it takes more time and effort, but the risk of addiction or feelings of dependence are much lower. | mentalhealth | 1v6hw6 |
if so, feel free to share, i’m interested in what you have to say! mine is photography. i started taking photos of the most mundane, seemingly boring things in order to take charge of my depression, finding something interesting about them. there was fascination in the patterns of floor tiles, and every animal that passed by outdoors was an interesting creature. it helped me see the beauty of the world. soon, i was taking more and more photos, and a classmate asked me to photograph her posing against a wall for a school web page! she probably had seen my photos on social media. has anyone else turned a coping mechanism into a hobby? | does anyone have a coping strategy that they’ve turned into a hobby? | 97sb3m | playing music has always been one of my biggest coping skills. i play guitar and sing. it helps with stress and performing live helps me cope with anxiety. it creates so much anxiety where before i get on stage, it feels like my skeleton's about to jump out of it's skin. everything tells me run! don't do it. but i push through that and once i'm finally done with the performance, i feel like all the adrenaline and anxiety has drained out of me, at least for a good while. | mentalhealth | 97sb3m |
background: male, 31. i have schizoaffective, schizotypal and ptsd. i've been in mental health hospitals about a dozen times since the age of 13. i seem to be unable to hold down a job for more than a few months. when i apply, i want my case to be ironclad. my question is this: did you hire a lawyer for your application, and if so, was it worth it? | thinking about hiring a lawyer for ssi/ssdi? is it worth it? | 4sc7kj | i would suggest you look for a local community mental health center and see if they can help you apply. they typically do it for free. lawyers can really screw you over as they take their fee out of your check for x amount of years. if you can find a resource that will help you for free, you'd be better off. i can help locate resources if you need more advice. also try looking for local legal aid places. they most likely won't help with the app but they can help with referrals. or look up 211 or united way and ask them about your needs or what i mentioned above and they should be able to give referrals. | ptsd | 4sc7kj |
ok, soo basically my family is causing my anxiety. why? last year, they let my cat go outside. he ate a tiger lily and you know one trip to the vet and a giant vet bill later, they still let him outside when i ask them not to. but what's worse is they nag me about it, while my brother and sister have problems of their own (my sister has a fear of taking the bus, and my brother constantly worries) my parents fucking baby and fawn over them. for me, they just give the judging look and "i don't know why you're so worried it's no big deal. we'll just not let him out happy?," and then in less than 24 hours they will do it then repeat this whole conversation. it's fucking driving me nuts. help? | family causing my anxiety, literally driving me nuts | 1dyva7 | how do your conversations usually go? do they typically occur when you are escalated? perhaps try talking to them at a time when you are calm and can explain to them your reasons for not wanting the cat to go outside.you can try explaining it by describing to them the situation, expressing how you feel, asserting yourself, reinforcing positive consequences. for example: "hey mom and dad, whenever you let the cat outside it really upsets me because of what happened last year and i think it would be really helpful in putting me at ease if you did not do that. does that sound okay with you guys?" you may have to be willing to negotiate or at least hear their side of it and don't be afraid to be a "broken record" and repeat this every time it happens until they get it. hope this is helpful :) | anxiety | 1dyva7 |
i posted something similar prior but would like to update if for a more accurate answer from you guys; i’m 21m, 196lbs, and 6’2. i was prescribed 50mg hydroxyzine hcl as needed and 20mg escitalopram once daily before bed. i started hydroxyzine 24 hrs prior to escitalopram in order to observe side effects of each. after starting escitalopram, hours later, i had urinary retention issues, that persisted for three days before i discontinued use last night. i’m scheduled to see my psychiatrist tomorrow to switch to a different medication, and she told me that this side effect only happens .1% of the time, which is rare. do you guys know if other ssris will have the same side effect? it was obviously highly uncomfortable and not something i’m able to deal with unless i’m prescribed something to deal with the retention issues. thanks! | ssri associated urinary retention | ds5y1g | hydroxyzine is highly anticholinergic and much more likely to be responsible for urinary retention, possibly with a delay. my first thought would be to stop that one and see if the retention resolves. | askdocs | ds5y1g |
hi this is a throw away, i'm 30 years old and have had major depression for more than half of my life. i never hear about depression recovery, i have gotten to the lowest point of my life and i'm losing all my hope fast. i just need to know that there are survivors out there that have made it and can function in normal life. i'm destroying my relationships and my girlfriend of 10+ is now depressed because of me and i know i'm driving her away and don't know what to do. anyways thank you for reading this. i just want to hear your success stories to spark some hope in my life and others that have depression | recovery stories | 6psqrg | when i look at my family tree this is what i see: mother (depression, undiagnosed but extremely obvious since my early childhood at least), father (diagnosed depression), older sister (diagnosed depression, anxiety; all chronic and unsuccessfully treated), grandpa (depression), grandma (depression, alcoholism), many cousins, aunts, uncles also have some mixture of depression, anxiety, and alcoholism. there was no way i was making it out of this life without depression being a part of it. i've had major bouts with depression, which for myself i really have begun to see primarily as an energetic disorder as opposed to mood disorder. in high school i thought of killing myself every day. there were entire days, probably weeks, i would not speak to a single person. i had crippling social anxiety. my advice is to get a good therapist, a really good therapist that deepens your understanding of depression and its role in your life. depression is not 'false'. i always hated when people claimed what i was experiencing was not the truth. what we experience is a real part of life. but it's not the whole picture. get a therapist that helps you hold both depression and vitality, sadness and joy. you won't get a "happy" life but you'll get one that is much richer. | depression | 6psqrg |
last year, i started college and lived in a one-person suite. i’m a bit on the shyer side, so i didn’t make very many friends, and i eventually developed depression and my anxiety got worse. i did become considerably more isolated, and i didn’t have anything to do but to think and think. i eventually started having existential thoughts like never before, and i would be consumed by these thoughts and couldn’t fathom how we came into existence. then i read somewhere on reddit about the simulation theory, and i started believing we lived in a simulation, and was constantly scared by that thought. about a year later, i live with 4 people and i’m friends with all of my roommates and we hang out a lot together. i also socialize with my high school friends a lot, and i’ve made a lot more friends. i still have depression and anxiety, but i’m seeing a therapist now and i’ve gotten considerably better. however, i had a bad weed trip a few days ago and experienced a sort of weed-induced psychosis where i started thinking about existence again and started trying to connect it with the government and it scared me into having a panic attack. i’m better now, but it’s making me think i might be developing psychosis. | could i be developing psychosis? | egkghz | no. people who are depressed experience a range of distressing thoughts, some of which may question our existence, what's the purpose, etc. lay off the drugs, though. if, by chance, there is a genetic predisposition for a psychotic disorder, substance use may increase the likelihood of its eventual manifestation. also, if your parents are okay, i'd rest assured. | mentalhealth | egkghz |
hey ca, long time lurker, sometime poster under an old account that i deleted in a fit of mt. gay induced stupidity. unlike a lot of you here, i don't have a physical dependency. i have withdrawal symptoms (night sweats, poor sleep, waking up hungover 3 days in a row after a bender, hallucinations etc.) but for some reason my drinking has never interfered with my personal or professional life . my drinking is done on days or nights off. i don't drink in the morning or with lunch, because i know i can't stop at one. if i got shit to do, boozing just gets in the way, and i drink to get drunk. however, in the last 20 years i have developed a massive gambling addiction. one that has cost me a wife, a house, personal and professional respect, cars, friends, family. from the trail end of the thatcher/bush sr. years, i've taken so many people for a ride i can barely remember who they are and what i owe them. only in the last year have i started to really make a real concerted effort to get over it, due in no small part to my new wife and her support for me. what i'm trying to say is, on boxing day i watched the cricket and got bulletproof on mt. gay, once again. old trusty poured itself into my tumbler with lime and ginger beer, and then i was down the pub. in action, feeling it, breathing it, feeding $50 note after $50 note into the machines, getting drunker and drunker, the staff more than willing to help me blow every thing i was winning, serving me more and more piss, and i was letting them do it, because i fucking love doing it. it feeds some dark part of my soul, one that i know has caused so much hurt and destruction, yet it still calls to me. i've looked in other subs for gambling addiction, but most of it's the dumb fucking jokes of "i'll bet you can't stop lol," but it's here that i really find solace. you guys know what it's like. waking up going, "fuck this." then doing it all over again in an hours time. and for this i thank you all. edit: paragraphs. | gambling addict here. i just want you pissheads to know that you're a source of real comfort to me. | 1603sv | /r/problemgambling just opened, you're welcome to visit. | cripplingalcoholism | 1603sv |
beyond people from high school that all live far away, i am utterly alone, why shouldn't i take my life? | no friends, and no so, really, why shouldn't i kill myself? | 5tb6ze | because you can get friends, and get an so. | bpd | 5tb6ze |
my partner has had a therapist since july 2019 and just recently, things have changed. she was diagnosed with ptsd a few sessions ago, after her appointments were changed to once a month. she went in this morning with a small list of things that have been bugging her, because she has problems with talking sometimes. her therapist basically told her all session that all her issues are trauma based and that she's fine. repeating how she doesnt like it when my partner talks out how she is feeling with me, and how my partner is coping fine. at the end of the session her therapist told her that she basically doesnt need therapy anymore and when my partner asked why, she said it was because she was fine and everything is ptsd and she can deal with it. she was very upset when she came home and feels like she did something wrong. is this how therapy sessions are supposed to go? do you get kicked out if they deem you okay after diagnosing you?? i just feel like she was threated wrongly and ignored when she came in with issues and concerns today. and as someone who is always with my partner, i see her breakdowns often. she has a hard time getting herself to do things, has been distant, more irritable, and incredibly anxious. i know she isnt okay and it hurts to know she doesn't have a professional to turn to anymore. | therapy advice needed! | f0l4nv | she needs a new therapist. that one did not make the right call and it’s frankly bs to do that to a client. the therapist doesn’t get to decide the client is “fine” or “ok” the client does! this t sounds awful and to be honest probably did your gf a huge favour because she doesn’t sound like a good therapist for your gf.....or probably anyone for that matter. please tell your gf that it’s nothing she did at all to be treated that way and that i’m so sorry she had to go through that! she is worthy and deserves a good therapist who will listen and help her get better on her own schedule (and one that will let her decide when she’s ok). give her lots of hugs. it sounds like you’re a wonderful support for her! i’m glad she has you. :) | mentalhealth | f0l4nv |
most people agree that who you are today is based upon how you grew up, your family, religion, the list goes on. based on my experiences and looking back at my life however, i must assume something inside me has always been there. culture and family values did not influence it. okay. let the mystery of what i may be referring to stop and let me get down to what i mean. i have some really sick desires i call fetishes; however, the question could be posed: do i have a mental health problem? my fetishes are: bdsm (submissive), erotic hypnosis (subject), getting kidnapped, getting drugged and raped, and some normal ones. the main ones i'll be talking about though are kidnapping and rape. the other ones just go along with it. i do not exaggerate when i say for as long as i remember there has been overwhelming urges to have said things done to me. i literally recount my fantasies from when i was only 4 or 5 all being very dark. being trapped by a man and forced to do his bidding, getting beaten and tied up by him, having to submit to him. when i was small my parents were worried about me because i could not comprehend why kidnapping was bad and i would do sexual things in public not realizing they were bad or even knowing they were sexual. anyways, that was when i was a wee little one. now i'm an adult and the problems are just as strong as ever. i think the distinction between what i have and a fetish is: this isn't just to turn me on in the bedroom. this is all i can think about all day everyday that is how it has been my whole life. it leads me to do dangerous things. now, people such as myself go unnoticed usually, eventhough i feel as though i'm considered to be dangerous. we go unnoticed because we are not the perpetrator, we are considered the victims so instead of getting put in jail if something happens to happen people would give us pity (eventhough we may have been the real cause for the incident). it's gotten so bad at this point this undying longing to get kidnapped and be someone's sex slave and to be abused and tortured has forced me to give almost all my personal information out to multiple alleged kidnappers most of which tell me right when i get out of college they are coming for me and i won't even know what hit me. i let hypnotists fuck with my brain and my body and i do more destructive acts just because, i can't stop myself. it's all i can think about. conclusion anyways, i guess the main point is. i legitimately think these are not just fetishes but something more intense. it isn't even about the sexual pleasure. it honestly never was. it has always just been what i needed to do, who i am. yes things have influenced me along the way but at the core these urges have always remained. and i feel like these are some pretty fucking dark and self destructive urges that i can't stop myself from acting upon; that are all encompassing. i feel as though that classifies me as a dangerous psychopath, but an unusual one. the irony is the one who is seen as the victim, is actually the psychopath in itself. what do you guys think? i have never seen any posts or articles anywhere online similar to this although i know other people like me exist. are they just not open about it? are they wired the same way i am? has it been with them all their life? please let me know! i want your comments and opinions! | i am a psychopath, but not in the way you would assume. | 56lmxp | it doesn't really sound like you're a psychopath--psychopathy is a subset of antisocial personality disorder and based on what you've said there isn't really anything to suggest that. id encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional, though, if this is causing you distress and you're concerned about putting yourself in danger. | mentalhealth | 56lmxp |
hi there, &#x200b; not looking to be diagnosed necessarily. my doctor recently (about 1 year ago) prescribed sertraline to me for general anxiety. after giving it an honest try, i've decided i hate it. the more i read about anti-anxiety/depression/ssri's, the less interested i am in being on one. &#x200b; i'm wondering if anybody has had experience treating anxiety through the use of cbd or supplementing a pharmaceutical with cbd to make it more effective? i've taken cbd before but not for the express use of helping with stress and anxiousness-- usually just infused in a gummy in conjunction with thc. &#x200b; thank you in advance for any and all input. because i know it may be thrown out there: no i will not stop smoking pot. yes i know it can contribute to anxiety. but the anxiety stems predominantly from what my doctor has referred to as global ptsd as a result of some shitty things i won't make you read about. &#x200b; about me: female 26 yo 5'7 140-ish lbs white currently in treatment and seeing a therapist weekly! progress has been made have been on sertraline for about a year. would prefer a homeopathic method of care not depressed-- not an observation by me, but by both of my doctors not on any other medications, save for birth control no other medical concerns smoke weed, drink, some rec drug use (namely cocaine, mushrooms), but no tobacco exercise less than i should (i know, i know) | question about cbd treatment for anxiety | brdhby | the evidence for cannabis overall in anxiety is mixed and complicated, and there is probably a non-linear dose response to cbd but not really enough data to say anything with confidence. i am always left somewhat baffled by decisions to avoid ssris. no, they are not perfect—but they are at least very well studied. the risks are lower and the effectiveness is clearly there compared to going off into the weeds of cannabis and cannabinoids, if you’ll excuse the pun. | askdocs | brdhby |
age: 20 sex: female height: roughly 160cm(?) weight: 65kg race: philippino so last tuesday i got an abortion (13/09), surgical abortion and i was six weeks along apparently with twins. during this, i got asked if i wanted to do a pap smear test and all the other stuff. i'd never had any of these tests done before so i figured why not since it was going to be done while the surgical procedure was being done. they called me on saturday and told me that my results had come back negative for everything but the pap smear. the results they faxed me was: cervical cytology: pap smear high-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion cin2 (cervical intraepithelial neoplasia grade 2) endocervical component present i had a look and i know that its not cancer yet, but i am just panicking and i'm afraid to tell my boyfriend of 3 months about it. what i have, could i have passed it onto him? and any advice for someone that doesn't know what to do? i'm becoming reckless waiting to see when the colposcopy unit will get back to me and i don't know who i can tell about this. | first time doing pap test, abnormal result and scared | 53bj37 | your not contagious, don't panic! at [cin2](WEBLINK), it's recommended to remove the offending cells. it's a very good thing that you were screened and you're able to do something about it with fairly reasonable outcomes. speak to nearest and dearest, they'll understand. | askdocs | 53bj37 |