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hi all, i'm an alcoholic who has been in and out of aa for the past three years. i decided to enlist the help of a trusted friend, who happens to be a psychiatrist. he helped me with my withdrawal with librium and naloxone. he also, at my request, prescribed me disulphram to create a negative reinforcement against consuming alcohol. i'm 21 days sober, and feel great. i did have my first accident with disulphram though. i didn't intentionally drink alcohol, but some food i ate must have contained some sort of cooking wine. i felt awful within a couple minutes of eating the food -- sweaty, high blood pressure, headache, a little disoriented, and nauseated. i ended up feeling ok a couple of hours after eating, but vomited profusely in the middle of the night. i had been curious about what sort of "negative reinforcement" i'd experience if i consumed alcohol. suffice to say, i'm now terrified of how i'd feel were i to intentionally drink. the thing is, now i'm very nervous about hidden alcohol in restaurant food. i know to avoid obvious stuff (red wine vinegar, olives in vermouth, chicken marsala, pasta w/ vodka sauce, etc.), but i'm worried that i'll experience another unintentional disulphram event because i ate something wrong. does anyone have experience with foods with hidden alcohol they can share? (and, for the curious, the hidden alcohol was either in a bowl of tom kha kai soup or a red curry with duck from a formerly-favorite thai restaurant.) thanks! | disulphram (antabuse) experiences? | 1jfmvx | as far as i'm aware there is a very insignificant amount of alcohol, if any, left in food once it's been cooked. | stopdrinking | 1jfmvx |
nervous to go to a meeting. i know its anonymous, but the idea of someone talking to another about me scares me. advice or experiences? | aa question: has anyone had problems with members being confidential? | 22v7ao | that's a totally rational fear, especially if you're in a small town. /u/mucked gave good advice. i'll add that you should keep in mind that there's nothing requiring you to speak at meetings; you can go, observe, get the lay of the land, and make your decisions as far as self-disclosure once you have a feel for your group(s). as you progress in your sobriety, and if/as aa clicks for you, you may find yourself more comfortable with people knowing about your recovery. but the entire issue of disclosure is totally up to you. | stopdrinking | 22v7ao |
started meds not too long ago. adderall. usually am a randy bastard with kinky fetishes and like to fuck alot (more than once in a day) and jack off. whenever i take my meds i’m peaceful, satisfied with one partner, more vanilla and actually low key disgusted with myself bc of what i like to look at online. i actually am alot more satisfied with my orgasms and find them more intense. is this normal? | meds make my sex drive go down? | 9we16s | so we can get hyper focused on things as a result of how our brains and nervous systems are wired. people with adhd also tend to latch onto things that give our brains a rush of dopamine since the reward system of our brain is doesn’t work as well as it should. perhaps on meds, your brain is less hyperfocused on sex and you don’t need to do it as much/look at more extreme porn/etc. to feel satisfied since the meds stimulate that dopaminergic system. does this seem like it might make sense for your situation? edit to add: totally talk to your doctor though, especially if the change in sex drive is distressing to you. | adhd | 9we16s |
i broke up with my long-time boyfriend a couple months ago, and i was absolutely devastated. while most of the time i would be ok, when things reminded me of him i would get extremely upset. i also started having mood swings, where i would cycle through a lot of complex emotions at one, and i started engaging in some rather risky behavior on top of all that. after a while i had to admit that it was all too much, so i did my research and found a therapist who seemed good on paper. the first session was very cathartic, i cried a lot, and got a lot off my chest. the next two times i came into the office, i wasn't a raw emotional wreck, and not a lot is going wrong in my life, besides my being an emotional mess. so i would explain the things that were upsetting me in a given week, then i'd finish explaining them as best i could, and then my therapist would just not respond. he would just let me sit there in silence. then instead of actually addressing what i've said so far, he would say that he's grasping at straws for what we should be addressing in therapy. is this guy just a jerk, or am i just not understanding what therapy is? he's making me feel like i'm messing this up when i'm still in a lot of emotional pain. is it worth trying to find another therapist, or did that first session where i was able to connect with how painful the breakup was for the first time do the trick? | should i find a new therapist? | 75yy25 | it seems like his therapeutic approach is more non-directive. if you feel any connection to him it may be helpful to express this concern to him. | mentalhealth | 75yy25 |
i heard shared at a meeting recently that sponsors that instruct their sponsees to call or text them daily are doing it because of an ego trip or some other nefarious purpose. personally, i believe sponsors do this to you getting use to, and becoming comfortable with, calling or reaching out to them. it's training you in a way. there will come a time when you are at your weakest and you want your "muscle memory" to reach for the phone (and call your sponsor or support group), rather than reaching for a drink. | sponsors saying to call or text them daily. it's not a bad thing and will save your life. | 7do1de | i agree. i don't think it needs to go on indefinitely, but i do think it's reasonable to ask for a daily phone call for the first 30 days and then go from there, and that has been my suggestion to sponsees....wish they would take it haha! heck, i worked with a sponsor from years 2-4 where i would call her every other day to check in. initially i didn't like it but after giving it a chance i liked the accountability and connection it gave me. we didn't talk every single time but it taught me to pick up that phone and also to ask directly for help by leaving her a voicemail asking explicitly for a call back if i needed it. | alcoholicsanonymous | 7do1de |
so my boyfriend and i have been arguing a lot but over small petty things. but i never thought we would end up done with each other... he makes me feel bad talking about i cause stress in his life and i mentally tormented him throughout the relationship and basically pointed the whole issue that i was the reason why and i spent so much time trying to explain myself saying that situations he put me through just really was built up... but he doesn't see he wrong doings. he obviously doesn't want to be with me but i really just don't want him to think i'm such a bad person and i honestly don't want things to end like this i'd respect it more if we just tried it again and knew we didn't have interest in each other. we know we both love each other but he just feels it won't work out ... what should i do? i honestly know i'm not that type of person. is there any hope he'd realize that we can be happy together? will he miss me and try to at least reconcile things and apologize? i don't know what to do. | my boyfriend (22/m) and i (19/f) broke up | 66abgv | you can never know what's in someone else's head. most of the time they don't even know. don't overthink. take his actions at face value and move on. someone will love you for you. | relationship_advice | 66abgv |
my methods of income tax procrastination never cease to amaze me. | i just willingly asked my kids if they wanted to play a board game? | bbsp81 | husband still hasn't done his taxes from june last year and he doesn't even have adhd!! what luck do we have???? haha | adhd | bbsp81 |
i'd really like some advice! i work with my boyfriend and he is always laughing with, going over to sit right next to this girl and messaging her at work and outside of work. last night she messaged him at 10pm just to tell him that she finished on time at 7pm. he also weirdly comes up right behind her and once stood there all fidgety and tugged on her hair then turned red when i saw. but he never actually sees her outside of work. also i'm never allowed to touch his phone. just good friends or something more? | innocent or not? | 5w1lu2 | a bit of a red flag... | relationship_advice | 5w1lu2 |
hi everyone, i didn't know who i should go to as i don't want to ask family as i don't think they would understand. so back in 2013 i met a girl online and we got close and ended up having a long distance relationship for about year, we never met in person as she lives in birmingham and i hertfordshire, and at that time i was about 16 so i couldn't get to her but we had many video chats but in the end we split ways because she was starting uni and thought it was best. but now it's 2017 and i'm currently in a relationship, it's fairly recent (3months) and she is great, like her personality is just like mine but i know it sounds harsh but i don't think i'm attracted to her, like when we have fun together and she has done sexual things to me i've never...released if you know what i mean. so i'm not sure if it's maybe better us just being friends, but basically the girl from 2013 who i haven't had contact with for all these years, yesterday she randomly sent me a text on facebook, saying " connor you have a girlfriend" with open mouth emojis and i replied how it's been a long time! and told her it's early at the moment and i'll see how it goes and she was definitely flirting with me as she replied "if it goes wrong and you two break up maybe we can meet up and see what happens ;)" and that i'll always have her and we need to get together again ;) she also said i was looking good and that i'm fit as fuck which was a surprise as compared to her i'm like a 4 or 3 and she is like a 10 and i always felt that way when we were together. so i need help, the current girl i'm with is super sweet and is so supportive but i feel like she is more a friend, where as my ex i'm crazy attracted to and from what i remember we got on super well too but that was 3 years ago and im surprised she has contacted me but she is clearly into me and looks like as she has finished uni she wants to start things again and for us to meet. i would really appreciate your opinions and help, thanks :) | relationship advice between two girls | 5oiomj | figure out if you really want to be with your girlfriend before you explore others. it's not about one or the other. it's about the one your with, or not the one your with. never compare two people; it's like apples and oranges. there will always be someone out there that your more attracted to, simply because of the newness factor. | relationship_advice | 5oiomj |
does anybody else feel like they’re slowly going crazy because of all of this? it’s so boring. there’s literally nothing to do, no stimulation at all. it’s like drowning but extremely slowly. plus everybody in the world is sad. there’s no music playing on busy streets, there’s no people walking outside, nobody’s talking to strangers at the store like that and everybody just looks so glum. the face masks are what really make it all so real. it’s so mind numbingly quiet everywhere. it’s like a new world. celebrities are useless to distract us, no concerts, no sports. all the things that made many people sane were gone in an instant. the mental health toll this is going to take on the world will be..historic isn’t even the word it’s gonna be monumental. | how are you guys coping with the situation emotionally and mentally? | fv9zcf | i'm going horrifically. i work still but even the weekends are too fucking much. i also have a two year old that goes insane inside and we both have to leave and do things. my husband doesn't understand though and he makes it super difficult for us to do anything because he says "let's walk the dog" and we are like fuck yeahhhhhhhhhhh quickgetallthethingstogethertowalkthedog and he goes to do a shit for 30 minutes as we are walking out the door. i want to punch him in the face sometimes. then there is the fatigue i get when i'm bored. my body just shuts the fuck down. i think i need to up my meds but i'm not seeing my psychiatrist for six months. | adhd | fv9zcf |
have you ever seen mean girls? i'm basically gretchen and my friend is regina. if you haven't seen it yet, i'm basically a doormat who does everything for this friend. she vents to me everyday for hours, yet when i try to, she ignores me. in her defense, i don't think it's anything wrong with her. i just think me being a doormat to her for four years made her naturally used to treating me this way. anyways, i want to break out for my own good. i plan on leaving her, which in itself is very hard because of how emotionally attached i am to wanting to please her all the time. i want to distance myself and hope we naturally stop being close friends. but now i'm facing the dilemma of if i need to offer her an explanation of my grievances and reasons for distancing myself. i feel she'll be sad, but at the same time, i don't think she deserves me keep pleasing her anymore. i really don't think i have the courage to sit down and have a chat with her. am i obligated to? i badly want the answer to be no, and even if you guys say yes, i'm not sure i can do it. | doormat (m18) here, and i'm making an effort to break out by cutting off the person (f18) who steps over me. am i obligated to provide an explanation? | cxiefs | no, you can set whatever boundaries you believe are appropriate. you don't have to give a reason. here are some things you could say (just ideas, whatever works for you): "sorry, but i need a break from this friendship for a little while." "hey, for personal reasons i need to take a break from talking to you." "i just need some time on my own for a bit" ...or, you could be specific and say something like, "i feel like you expect a lot out of me, but you aren't supporting me in turn. it's a big burden on me to hear you vent all your problems when i feel like i can't do the same. i think it's best if we stop talking for a little while. if you still want to be friends after (x time), i'll reach out to you then." | advice | cxiefs |
i was hanging with a friend on a night out. we stopped to get some late night kebab, and as we were eating, a random drunk stranger started talking to us. we just chatted for a while, and when we finished eating, we walked home. my friend pointed out something: "hey man, i realize you're really good at making mental connections that most people wouldn't have thought about. it's good for helping keep a conversation going, because you have a lot of stuff you can talk about. that guy we just met, it seems like you were good at taking what he said and finding things to expand the conversation on. one thing that i would recommend, though, is that you tend to frame discussions based on your own experience. instead, if you frame it in a way that gets the other person to talk more about themselves, it makes it easy to be engaging and have them like you." note: this wasn't a criticism or anything, and we were both talking constructively about how to be more social/outgoing. after having this pointed out, i did start to notice it more. we spoke to another shop owner from turkey and had a nice chat about his experiences. i took something he mentioned and made an offhand connection to something similar i remember from visiting a turkish market in london. around then, i realized what my friend meant by me circling the convo back to myself, so i focused from then on asking the shop owner questions about his own experience. i feel i have a natural tendency to take what others say and relate it to my own personal experience. this isn't necessarily bad in itself, but i want to learn how to put more focus on the other person, while still using my natural tendency to make connections to related ideas. any tips? | friend pointed out insight about me. how do i use this? | eun6hp | i do this too! my guess is that, since you recently recognized this habit, you’ll be able to gradually shift toward being more curious about the experience of others as you keep it in mind. but there’s arguably nothing inherently wrong with the tendency you describe, so it’s ok to embrace your natural instincts in conversation too. i’m an introvert and sometimes find it less intrusive to share something about me, with openness and receptivity to the experience of others, rather than ask a lot of questions. | socialskills | eun6hp |
so i was visiting my home country and i met this guy a week ago and he was amazing, he is basically the male version of me (like the exact same person...it's super weird). anyways we met each other yesterday once more since he was traveling later on that day abroad and we made out. he wanted to go further and have sex but i refused. today i found out though a fb post that he was still with his girlfriend....and that he traveled with her, which by all means is totally messed up. he never talked about her, mentioned her or even told me she was traveling with him. i'm super pissed cause i would never cheat on my partner and i don't know how to deal with this like should i tell her? or even confront him about it? like i get he told me he would get serious with me (pff yeah right, all bs) but you don't pull bs like that hours away from your flight with your gf. | urgent advice needed. help! | 6n40tq | i guess he's not the male version of you because you're a good person and he's a piece of shit. | relationship_advice | 6n40tq |
is "personality dysmorphic disorder" a thing? if so, what would be the symptoms? causes? treatments? | is there a psychological equivalent of body dysmorphic disorder? | fc7dki | body dysmorphic disorder is a psych diagnosis and is in the dsm-5. is that what you are asking? | askatherapist | fc7dki |
age: 26 height: 6'0" gender: male medications: truvada and issentris smoking status: do not smoke previous and current medical issues: hx of depression, anxiety, rhabdo duration and location of complaint: needle stick happened 12/15/19 @ 12 noon. pep initiated at 12:40pm. ​ ​ so, title says it all basically. i am an er nurse and had an accidental needle stick injury to the pad of my index finger today at work while sedating a combative patient. it was a immediately following im injection using a 22g needle. the needle stick to myself was superficial, but deep enough that i did bleed very lightly. i immediately irrigated my hand, washed with soap and water, and again with chlorhexadine. i initiated pep in the form of isentress 400 mg and truvada 200/300 mg within one hour of exposure. the source patient was drawn and shown to have both hiv and hep c. the hiv viral load of the hiv is 7,000. the hep c viral load was undetectable. i am a nurse; i'm usually the one doing the comforting and the education about these matters. it's different when you're the patient though. i need advice, reassurance, experiences, and any data you have to tell me just how fucked/not fucked i am. thanks so much. also, help me understand the viral load a little more. i know 7,000 is considered "low"; but obviously it is far above undetectable. is a viral load of 7,000 drastically in my favor? would you be worried about contracting hiv if you were on pep? | hiv and hep c positive needle stick injury | ed3wfu | the risk of contracting hiv by needlestick in someone who has a high viral load, without pep, is well under 1%. this patient's viral load is fairly low and you did initiate pep. your risk isn't zero, but it's as close as it could be. if the patient has undetectable hcv viral load, he's not hcv positive. i don't understand what was drawn. antibodies showing past hcv infection? that doesn't matter and could well be previous infection and clearance. what matters is whether there's virus now, and from what you say there isn't. | askdocs | ed3wfu |
i cannot lose weight, especially around my belly while on lloestrin fe. moods are okay though, whereas other birth control pills have been hard to tolerate emotionally. have had some anxiety and heart palpitations on lolofe. am thinking of going off bc completely but am scared to due to mood swings and bad periods and pain. ugh. | weight gain with lo loestrin fe? | chsw8h | does that cause any vaginal irritation like a yeast infection? i feel like i tried it years ago and i had that experience. | pcos | chsw8h |
want some answers from men's point of view, what do you really mean when you say "i need to take a break?" this guy i've been seeing for 8 months, everything went pretty well, recently he's been acting distant, we haven't spoken to each other for almost a week. we are not living together, so usually we only saw each other on our days off. i really felt a bit upset and today i asked him what's going on, he said he had lots of thoughts on minds about what he wants and stress at work etc. what bothers me most is when i asked him whether he's still serious about us he said he's not sure now. before this, he told me he was committed to me and wanted to have a future with me. really appreciate if i could get some advice on this situation. thanks:) | what does "i need to take a break" really mean? | 6f12gq | it means there's ambivalence. most of the time it means it's over. sometimes it means a little space to evaluate. | relationship_advice | 6f12gq |
i find myself hating a lot of girls, and therefore find it difficult to make friends with groups of girls. for example, i hate this one girl who is dating my boyfriend's best friend, because i think she's a pretentious attention seeker with low self esteem. the problem is this type of hatred has applied to a lot of girls i have met in the past. ever since high school, i have felt this way about anyone who is getting a lot of attention in a group. i think the problem is me, and not the other girls, but i have no idea how to deal with this, and feel like a counselor would laugh at me if i went to talk to one. i'm a straight girl who doesnt have any close female friends because of this. does anyone else feel this way or have advice? edit: thanks for all the responses. my main takeaways were: 1. focus on the positive traits of other girls, and try not to assume the worst. 2. acknowledge that i am competitive, and societal expectations for women can sometimes inhibit us from letting out our competitive side in the same way that men do. find girlfriends who can match my competitive attitude, and like me for it. 3. don't be afraid to see a counselor. 4. female friendships are harder to cultivate for me, because i have insecurities that put me on edge when she-friend gets attention that i don't get. those insecurities are probably the root problems i need to work on. thanks again! | i'm a girl. why do i hate other girls? | 5k72oi | i'm a therapist and would definitely encourage you to explore this issue with one. some questions to consider in the meantime. when did this all start? have you ever had close female friends? it sounds like you are on the right track with starting to figure things out, realizing that you don't like it when others get the attention in the group. what about that upsets you so much? is it because you want that attention? do you think that they are being fake? what other reasons could there be that someone would be the center of attention in a group? could it be that they are just naturally talkative? are they friendly? what kinds of things can you appreciate about those other girls? something that can help in life is to focus on what you like about a person. people tend to like others that like them. | socialskills | 5k72oi |
just threw out 80% of the eighth i bought today as well as one of the two vyvanse pills i bought. im done with drugs. they hurt my life and i still use them. fuck that, i'm in control now and i'll shout no everyday i have to. back to basics. exercise, studying, relaxing. gotta get through the rough part and stay strong in the easy part. any drugs i do will only make my life worse. saying that i'll socially isolate myself due to lack of drug use is bullshit. there's no way it can isolate me more than 2.5 years of daily weed usage has. this cant continue, i refuse to be pushed around by drugs that only hinder and cannot help. i wont relapse like i did this time, after 1.5 weeks back on i see i need to move on. my life may not get better when i quit smoking, but it'll sure as hell stop getting worse. i don't need weed or any drug. i need healthy relationships. i need extra money. i need healthy, sustainable motivation. i need a clear mind to take on this world and i refuse to let weed take these things from me any longer. weed doesn't deserve me, i am better off without it. it's toxic, overly enticing tactics are going to get out of my life. i cant and wont fail this time. im an addict, i've known it for awhile, but now i will act on it. no more drugs. no highs. no comedowns. just pure me, soberly pursuing the best for myself. | i won't be controlled | 41hxfw | remember, you do the drug. the drug doesn't do you | leaves | 41hxfw |
we used to be coworkers and he used to skip work some days to be in the hospital with his father who had a recent surgery due to some kind of cancer, and the company we worked for understood that and gave him some time off. after 6 weeks he came into the office saying his father had passed away and thanking our leader for the support the company gave him to let him be with his father in his lasts days. then one day he didn't show up to work, so our leader called his home to see if he was ok, and his father picked up the phone and told the leader that he never got cancer and he was very alive. so he got fired after that. a week later, he calls the company saying that his backpack got mugged along with the debit card that had the redundancy pay and asked if he could get the money again but as in cash. (of course the company refused to do that and ignored him). he was a studying to be an actor and i ran into him a few days ago downtown and he told me that he was doing a play on this theater and asked me if i could go. i say that i would do my best to go -i won't go-. so i get home and check his profile on facebook, i have him as a friend, and turns out he created 3 or 4 accounts himself and leaves comments on his posts saying things. he has one self false girl who leaves comments like "hey you were great today on the audition <3 <3 love you". and another one who is a male friend that says things like "you are the best, i miss your wisdom everyday." and has conversations on the posts with his false accounts. i checked and he's been doing this since the las 45 days, and everyday posts like 3 things, and puts likes and comments with his false accounts. so, i don't really know what to do, he lives near my house and i'm gonna keep running into him due to this but i don't want to be in touch with him anymow because he scares the hell out of me. what should i do? and what is going on with him? is there anything i can do to help him/stay away from him? | i have a friend who created a few false accounts on facebook and commentates his own posts. | 4ae6js | there's nothing you can do about that. if that's what your friend wants to do with his free time, he's within his rights to do so. the only thing you can do is cut ties with him. when he approaches you about spending time with him or attending one of his auditions, just tell him no and be firm. set the boundary and make sure he respects it. unfriending/unfollowing him on social networks will help as well. | mentalhealth | 4ae6js |
i am a 21 year old female who has been with my boyfriend for 2 years. my boyfriend and i live together and so this decision is harder for me. i do love my boyfriend very much and i am very attached to him. he is really funny, confident, can have really amazing conversations, likes to do fun exciting things, and stands up for me in public. the issues i have with him is that my boyfriend talks to other girls behind my back unless i find out and confront him and then he will stop for awhile and then start talking to them again. i have told him many times over the past 2 years that it really hurts my feelings and that if he really loves me he wouldn't do it. his reply is that it doesn't mean anything to him and its just for fun and that he only loves me. another issue is that every time we get into a fight he gets really mean, he calls me stupid and dumb and threatens to go back to talking to other females. he also almost never thinks anything is his fault and i always have to take most of the blame. another issue i have with him is that he's controlling to some degree. for example, i can't go back and see my mother (we live in different states) unless i talk to him about it and that we agree together on what dates i can go back. it's not that bad and maybe he's doing it without even realizing it. on top of that i'm only 21 years old and i want to move to different states, explore, and it's really hard for me to imagine myself settling down at the age of 21 and since my boyfriend is older than me he wants to settle down more and that is also an issue. i feel very torn because i do love him very much and i can have a lot of fun with him. i also live with him and our lease isn't up yet and i don't think i could face either seeing him in the apartment and not being together or even having to see him long enough to move all my stuff out. what should i do?? please help! | [21/f] who needs advice on if i should stay with my boyfriend [28/m] who i have been with for 2 years. what should i do? | 7tcybq | your boyfriend thinks you’re a kid he can control and also fuck. it’s gross! | relationship_advice | 7tcybq |
i'm not really sure how else to phase that question. it's something that bothered me for years, and have never really been able to convince myself to ask it. how does everyone think? i ask this because i'm curious if the thing that's wrong with me is as simple as how my mind works. i have two voices in my head that never stop. if ask to point on my skull were the two voices are coming from i can do it easily. one on the left side of my head and one on the right. at times it feels like i know exactly what part of my lobe each thoughts are coming from. the left voice is very logical, the right side is emotional. when the left voice is more dominate i feel like the person i want to be and can function like what i think a normal person is. the downside is if it's too dominate i feel like a socialpath because i find myself manipulating people and have a strong impulse to hurt people because it seems like fun. when my right side is dominate i'm an emotional wreck and a bubbling idiot. i either want to curl up in a ball and die because of all the anxiety and guilt i feel for things i've done or things i think i feel. or i'm just extremely pissed off for no reason and stay that way until my left side kicks in. most of the time however i spend every waking hour listening to both my left and right side fight each other and doing everything in my power to distract myself from the noise two thoughts bring. it's very time consuming trying to keep track of two different thoughts that keep fighting for my attention. if i spend to much of the day distracting myself, i lay in bed for hours until both have run their course. so is this how everyone thinks? do i just have a bad coping way of dealing with the noise in my head compared to everyone else? also does anyone have any mental tips to silencing the noise allowing me to actually focus on one task? one last thing if it matters, i have had this problem all my life, but it really didn't start becoming a problem and effecting my life until i was 15-16 (i'm 25 now). | how do people think? | 1fxiob | are these simply strong thoughts, or are they something else (e.g. voices you don't recognize). if it is the second, that sounds like auditory hallucinations and it might be wise for you to seek the services of a psychiatrist. | mentalhealth | 1fxiob |
so i was bored today and was playing with her tablet. saw that her snapchat was logged in and so poked around(not ever using snapchat, just wanted to see what her appeal for it was). found that she had sent some 18+ photos to another man and he had sent a few back. after having a brief conversation with the other guy, he stated that they only sent photos back and forth the day of his birthday - that they barely talk at all and it only happened once. i'm not angry at the guy, he said he had no idea she was dating anyone - i just wanted to know what all of you would do in this situation? we're almost at the two year mark and i just don't know. | found my gf (20/f) sending snaps to another man. i'm (29/m) | 717cbv | "i went through your tablet. i packed your bags. i expected more from you, blank slate i started dating when you were 18 and i was 27." | relationship_advice | 717cbv |
i am 26 yo f, 57kg, 165cm fall. i have an 11wo son who i am breast feeding. i got my first period 6 wks postpartum exactly. i have always had a very regular cycle. i am now 5 days late, experienced some painful cramping in the early hours of the morning 3 nights ago but nothing came. usually when i have cramping that means i’m about to get my period within the next hour. i had headaches and fatigue about a week ago. but i am taking ethymicin from a rash from pregnancy. the headaches still come sometimes. i remember this was my first symptom when i was pregnant, i went and got my eyes tested because i thought my glasses needed to be adjusted. but i’ve been told how rare it is to fall pregnant while breastfeeding? | could i be pregnant? | 928scl | rare doesn't mean impossible, especially if you've been having sex without any other birth control. if you've had a period, you could easily be ovulating as well, so you could have gotten pregnant. it's at least worth a home pregnancy test. | askdocs | 928scl |
ok first of all, let me say that i know this is just one of many rationalizations. i'm a 25-year-old girl and i really need to quit drinking. i know that. it's been something i've been dealing with for a little under 3 years, and it just needs to stop. the problem is that i used to be bulimic, and whenever i don't drink for periods of time, my urges to binge and purge become so much stronger. i'm so worried that if i quit drinking, my bulimia will come back. i know that sounds stupid, but it's really been something that's kept me. i already see a psychiatrist and therapist, and i already have "healthy" addictions like healthy cooking and working out. i guess i'm just wondering if anybody else has experience with cross-addictions, and advice? thanks so much in advance. | worried about switching addictions...anyone else have experience with this? | 45hwxj | essentially you need to figure out your triangle or rhombus or hexagon or whatever. then realize that as you push back in one area, you should expect the other areas to respond defensively as a reaction. if the drinking was controlling deep feelings of inadequacy, you'd expect the bulimia or anxiety or depression to compensate accordingly. that's why success usually is through holistic measures, mind change, whole body health and small, sustained steps. | stopdrinking | 45hwxj |
hi everyone, i'm really confused what my next step should be. i've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and it was bumpy at the start but for the last two years things have been great. we spend a lot of time together, hardly argue and have fun. but we haven't had sex in 6 months. i can't talk to anyone about it as i'm humiliated. he says it's normal in long relationship which i know is true but 6 months is a long time. he feels like there is pressure now and it feels awkward. i've tried talking to him about it and when i do he tell me to stop cos it makes the situation worse. i know i'm not bad looking and i take care of myself so nothing has change on that department. however now i'm starting to lose interest cos of the rejection. another factor is our age gap. i'm 34 and he's 27. he regularly bring this up when we discuss our issues. after 4 years together i'm ready to move forward and talk about the future and when i do he says he's not ready. obviously at my age i think about children and i think due to our circumstances he should meet me in the middle. i told him that in 2 years i'd like to start thinking about kids if we are still together and he told me that he's not ready to think about that not even 2 years down the line and the same goes for marrage. i'm i wasting my time? i'm so confused because we get on so well and love being together and we still cuddle and are affectionate with each other. i'm scared if i walk away i'll regret it and maybe i should wait it out. but let's face it, time isn't on my side. also the thought of him with someone else kills me and i'd have to deal with it cos we have the same social circle. should i stay or should i go? | help: should i walk away? | 6a6p1a | it's not normal, and you're not alone and it needs to change if you're going to be happy together. more sex or couples therapy leading to more sex or leave. | relationship_advice | 6a6p1a |
i can't take this any more. i feel like my brain is trying to find whatever bothers me a great amount and repeat it through my head the whole day until i find something that bothers me more. the only thing 20mg prozac seems to be doing anymore is giving me constant tinnitus, and this is the point where it's supposed to really start kicking in. i'm scared to do anything i like out of the fear of me associating it with something i hate. i'm constantly questioning everything that i've ever known. i can't even sleep. my life feels absolutely ruined and destroyed. | i feel like giving up | 46gu8s | prozac isn't always the best choice for anxiety, so it may not be a fit for you. don't give up. i took some meds that didn't help, and eventually found one that did. i know how torturous incessant ocd can be. | ocd | 46gu8s |
not sure if this question has been asked here yet. just curious about those who go through dbt by following workbooks as guide. | has anyone ever tried going through dbt alone (without the help of peers or a therapist)? how has it worked for you so far? | 6b6bpy | WEBLINK you can do a bunch of great work but you'd be in for a tough job of both the d and the t. fighting your own cognitions, emotions and invalidation tendencies is tricky to say the least. if trauma or family dynamics are involved in guessing you will end up just finding frustration and endless circles of trying to fake it or out think it. not that you can't do it, but that's a tall order. what i love is that almost by definition, if you do it then you prove you are much more stable, persistent, consistent and emotionally aware than whoever diagnosed you believes. there's a magic to group that you can't get on your own. even if 90% of dbt is you working on your own stuff. | bpd | 6b6bpy |
uk gov recommends to social distance for "non essential" things. therapy has massively changed my life and i'm in a stage of my life where it's working really well. my old therapist did phone calls and video calls and it didn't benefit me anywhere near as much as face to face. so i've taken the advice to social distance. i don't meet up with friends or go to places with large amounts of people (except stores for supplies), but decided to do face to face with my therapist. | is it bad that i'm still doing face to face meetings with my therapist? | fmhque | just a note: i don't think this is a question for a therapist; i think this is a question for a medical doctor or an epidemiologist. we are not trained in infectious disease. i could not give you a meaningful assessment of how risky this is. | askatherapist | fmhque |
in grade 9 i started homeschooling because the anxiety was so bad. it stops me from breathing correctly, so i have massive migraines everyday. i graduated and started working. i'm 20 now and have lost 4 jobs due to my anxiety. last year i sold my art and did classes for people and got paid, but i need to save up so i can move out of the house and get my life started. the physical symptoms are unbearable. i don't know how to function at a 9-6 job, 5 days a week. please give me advice. | starting a new job tomorrow. been disabled because of my anxiety for so long. i need help. | 1ceygs | have you tried getting a service dog? anxiety has unconscious symptoms that are evident to a dog before you know you are getting worked up. dogs can be taught to notice these symptoms and let you know you need to practice your relaxation techniques. breathing meditation and weight lifting can really help. weightlifting helps you develop single pointed concentration and eventually you become strong and that helps too. | anxiety | 1ceygs |
today is the 50th anniversary of my sobriety. it works! march 29 was easter monday, the day i hit my personal rock bottom, after a disastrous marriage, and being a daily drunk since i was 18. the rock bottom came when i became afraid of what might happen during one of my frequent blackouts, as it was something i said or did during one, that ended my first marriage 2 months before. i went to my first meeting that night, still drunk and distraught, after ringing the melbourne aa telephone recorded message line. it was 3 weeks or so before my 28th birthday. the kindness of the members at that meeting, together with their practical advice,\* got me started immediately. i have not taken an alcoholic drink since that day. 50 years of a new life, 48 years of a loving and stable new family, and an opportunity to grow into a decent human being, finding meaning and contentment. not all easy though, some rough patches, that is life, after all. the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous and the power of example (positive and negative), sustained me. the spiritual aspect got me on a "pilgrimage" of many paths. the founders and their circumstances were divinely inspired in my opinion, as are the 12 steps and 12 traditions. immense gratitude from peter h, melbourne, australia. \* ("there is another meeting tomorrow, keep coming back, you can't get drunk if you don't have the first drink, you don't have to stop for a lifetime, just try stopping for today.") | 50 years sober today. | frfjrs | thanks for sharing this great news. i’m sober 41 years and i’ve been sober since i was 23. i went to a meeting every day for years and these days i go 3 or 4 times a week. currently i’m in quarantine so i go to on line meetings and i’m enjoying them more than i expected. when asked, i say i don’t go to meetings to get something, i go to lose something. | alcoholicsanonymous | frfjrs |
i would imagine that therapists regularly have clients who express their beliefs on a variety of issues, and that sometimes these beliefs are strongly opposed to what you understand to be rational. when you do hear something which you find revolting, but for whatever reason don't challenge it, what does a therapist think, say, feel, and/or do about that? what are therapists trained to think, say, and/or do about such occurrences? i frequently feel as though i am walking on egg shells when talking to my therapist specifically about: 1) religion 2) issues which have been “politicized,” (though not necessarily issues which are inherently political) & 3) relational ethics. i think that i fear the (contempt / disgust / smug condescending bemusement) of my therapist towards me. it seems to come out in facial expressions, tonal inflections, conversational breaks, and occasionally body language. i find it very hard to trust a therapist after i've had so many treat me so poorly. i fear having to deal with it all over again. i don't know how to articulate this. i just want to be free to be honest with my therapist but i presume that i must believe things which she finds revolting. it troubles me greatly and i don't know how to address this question to her as i become emotionally overwhelmed and intensely panicked when i try to. i'm very happy with my therapist. i've looked around and shes the fourth one i've tried. i really like her but not having any idea how she might react, based on my lack of understanding of what therapeutic training dictates, leaves me feeling very troubled. thank you | what if i offend my therapist? | hhn9oj | having different beliefs doesn't or at least shouldn't matter. if you feel shut down, it could be judgment, but it could also be something else. in therapy, process is more important than.content. let me give you a very american example: let's say you were outraged about the president . 5 years ago , people were also outraged about our last president. it doesn't matter which way i lean or which president i prefer . the person who walks into my office might be anxious or feel alienated. this is the point, not the political belief. i will let folks talk about politics, religion and rational ethics. you are there to talk about what you want. however , at some point, we need to do the work of therapy. you aren't paying for someone to debate you and you aren't paying for someone to agree with you. your therapist 's job is to help you with the process. | askatherapist | hhn9oj |
i went to bed around midnight last night feeling exhausted, but otherwise fine. very suddenly, at 2am, my stomach started burning, and i had bad nausea, shakes, sweaty hands, and felt like i urgently needed the bathroom. i ended up being fine (no d* or anything), and everything mostly subsided on its own a few minutes later, but it was terrifying while it lasted. this is the third or fourth time this has happened to me, and it's very unsettling to not know what's going on. :( has anyone else had that happen? feeling totally fine one moment and then boom nausea out of nowhere? i wasn't worrying about anything beforehand, i hadn't eaten anything suspicious, heavy, or acidic (between ibs and my phobia, my diet's really bland), and i haven't had contact with any sick people, so i doubt it's a virus or food poisoning. i've been diagnosed with anxiety, ocd, and a locked-up diaphragm, so maybe it could've been a panic attack and/or a muscle spasm? can trapped gas or a lack of sleep cause sudden nausea? i was definitely tired when it happened, and did have a bit of stomach gas. i feel... okay-ish now (1:45pm), but still a bit rattled and woozy from the incident overnight. still no d* or fever or anything, at least. i haven't had a sv since i was 12 (22 now), but i'm a bit scared that i'm coming down with one. | panic attack or something else? | 6kh3xn | almost sounds like reflux to me! i think i have gerd and i get this sensation fairly regularly. | emetophobia | 6kh3xn |
so i’m reading a book about healing from abuse as a child but i’m having a hard time relating to some of it because my abuse does not quite fit the norm. my mother pretended we were being stalked and that this stalker was making threats to rape, kidnap, kill me. this was an on and off thing. it started when i was a baby. i guess to get my dads attention? she told me and showed me letters when i was maybe 10? but when i was younger she hinted at the idea that we had to be extra safe. the stalker would write letters for a while then it would stop and months or a year later start back up. so i lived in constant fear. she act terrified and we would comfort each other. i grew up and the stalker switched from being obsessed with me to my little sister. as an adult looking at my sisters situation i could see how it doesn’t make any sense and did some digging and found out it is all made up and my mom wrote these disturbing letters herself. i feel like it was done for attention and also to keep us closer to her. so what is this? what is wrong with her? i know she is not delusional or schizophrenic. it seems like munchhausen‘s by proxy but not medical? is this a thing? any book recommendations for me? | what kind of abuse is this? | gr5ni7 | i'm curious to know how you know these are not delusion-related. many people with delusional disorder , particularly non bizarre delusions, can be extremely functional with no other obvious problems. i get that if she wrote the letters herself there is some intent there , but i don't know that would, on its own, rule out delusions. | askatherapist | gr5ni7 |
i'm 27 years old, 4'11", 97 lb, f, non\-smoker, no recreational drugs, daily medications: lamotrigine, latuda, carbamazepine, lithium \(recently discontinued\), diagnosis: bipolar disorder \(somewhere between i and ii\). there doesn't seem to be an ask psychiatry, so i'm posting here \(feel free to let me know otherwise\). i've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but for the past three years we have been struggling with finding an effective mood stabilizer \(a situation that is not uncommon, i realize\). what seems to happen is that a mood stabilizer will work great for a month or two, but then i will relapse. the nature of my episodes seem to change as each year passes but it is difficult to tell if that is its natural course or if that's due to the many medication changes that have occurred. together, they serve to deaden the symptoms, but every year i relapse to the degree that i become nonfunctional. as a result, every year we have to try a new mood stabilizer or increase dosages. is it usual to have a mood stabilizer work only for a month, then become much less effective? i've tried three mood stabilizers and one antipsychotic \(latuda\) so far. | bipolar mood stabilizers quickly lose effectiveness | 8olwem | mood stabilizers aren't perfect. often that means that they're effective when decreasing the frequency and sometimes severity of mood episodes, not getting rid of them entirely. when you say they work for a month, then become less effective, what do you mean? what happens? | askdocs | 8olwem |
i graduated college a while ago and still don't understand this. should you help the teacher out and raise your hand to contribute a few times each class? a few times a week? only when you have something you don't think someone else will say? | how often are you actually supposed to participate in class? | 8sopxq | it's all a balance. professors generally want participation. the more you participate, the more they will feel you're invested in the class and your learning. i would say that it's a good idea to participate as much as possible without monopolizing the time. if you've already asked a few questions or participated in discussion and you can see others in the class want to, allow others to get a chance. if the professor asks for feedback or opinions and the class is silent, looks like they don't care, this is the perfect time to participate. there's nothing worse than that kind of silence during a lecture for a professor and most will be grateful that at least one student showed interest and engagement. not every professor is going to understand the intricacies of social anxiety and more often than not, if you are only raising your hand or participating once a week or less, they'll assume you're not very interested or engaged. | socialskills | 8sopxq |
hey everyone. around two weeks ago i was diagnosed with hypertrophy of the nasal turbinates and i was sent to use a steroid nasal spray two times a day. about ten days ago i caught a cold and i not only can’t get rid of it but it seems to be getting worse. i keep having more and more mucus, first it was first in my nose, now it has gone to my throat, which has started to hurt. i’m blowing my nose all the time reaching the point my head hurts too. i don’t have fever or anything, but i’m having real hard time sleeping because i can’t breath properly and my throat keeps itching, so daily routine has been a struggle. i even took a day off believing i maybe just needed to rest a bit – what did work when i had colds in the past – but i just keep getting worse. i usually catch colds at the season's change, but it has never been this bad. it’s showing no signs of leaving soon and i’m wondering if maybe the nasal spray has something to do and if i should cut the treatment for some days or something? i think it’s relevant to say i have no allergies of any kind. info: female, 24 y/o, caucasian, 53kg, 1.65cm, the pain’s been going on for almost 10 days, in my face, throat and ears, meds: steroid nasal spray and birth control. | can steroid nasal sprays make a cold go worse? | bdd53z | i advice you to contact the prescriber of the spray and ask them. it is theoretically possible. but 19 days is a bit long for a cold and you have a lot of discomfort from it. | askdocs | bdd53z |
i suffer with depression and apparently so does everyone here. so i'm told. but why is it so hard for me to notice that? they're just so good at faking it? bottling it up during school? why is my depression spilling to the surface and onto my facial expressions? why is it affecting what i say and how i say it? why can't i fake it? i unload all my negativity out on everything. it almost feels like a competition now, that they're better at being depressed than me. i'm also told that it will last forever and i should just learn to live with it. and sometimes i'm convinced that's true and start thinking that without depression, i won't be able to do art. sometimes i have periods of remission where i start to eat well, begin to exercise and wake up early. i know if i stuck to it maybe i'd feel better. it does help. but it only lasts a few days until my next trigger of bad emotions. whether it's a fight with my husband or an emotional breakdown due to anxiety. after that i just feel numb, like right now. and contemplate suicide. all while i think what a joke i am compared to every other depressed person at my school. it's just a never ending cycle that can't break. i'm so exhausted. | i'm in art school. | 731ce0 | one of the biggest fallacies that so many young artists of all mediums seem to have is that mental illness is needed for creativity or artistic talent. there are plenty of famous artists that had severe mental illness, this is true. there are also plenty that didn't have any substantial mental illness. the ones with were not talented because they had mental illness. they were talented in spite of it. severe depression doesn't always last forever. for those that have a severe chemical imbalance (which is not the majority of those who do experience depression) they will have to learn to cope and will likely need medication consistently if they want to avoid serious bouts in the future. for most people that experience depression, they can overcome it through therapy and life-style changes. the hardest part about being a therapist is not the actual work that we do with clients or having to learn and maintain all we know about psychology. the hardest part is day in and day out being around hurting people. that is why from the beginning of our training we learn the overall importance of self-care and how to separate ourselves from overly negative environments, at least to be able to come up for air occasionally. make sure you find a way to do that with your school and find a way to spend a good amount of time around happy and healthy people as well. [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | depression | 731ce0 |
i love this girl, she is the one i needed. we are like couples, best friends, and our relationship is going on pretty well. just one thing that she might be seeing as a problem: our religion isn't the same and i am a dropout (also, a full stack developer and entrepreneur). i plan on having a degree in near future, though, just taking a break from college for deciding on what i want to do with my life. yesterday, she told me that everyone in her college is on tinder, and the new place she is interning at has almost everyone telling tinder stories. she is interested to be there as well, given that she would go out on dates but never be physical with anyone. no kisses or sex, just fun outing. and she even asked me to register. i'm not interested to do that. but i allowed her, and was pretty cool about it so as to not seem possessive and boring. i'm thinking about it again, should i stop her? or should i let her go with the hopes that even if she finds a guy much better than me, she might come back? or should i take this just as a fun activity couples might do together? update: she just asked me to go on a break. said she wants to go on an indefinite break, then said a break of 10 days. now she is at 5, but it's right before her birthday. i guess this is it. | girlfriend [f/21] of 2 years asked me if she can go on tinder, just for knowing some guys. should i [m/21] be cool about it or take it as a red flag? | 5kdu6f | red flag. she's acting immature and not committed to you | relationship_advice | 5kdu6f |
24 y/o female, 5'5", 160 lbs. so recently i was put on escotalipram (within the last 5 months) ever since the first week i was on it i've had no major side effects. my doctor told me there should be no side effects drinking alcohol with it so occasionally i have a few drinks. whenever i have more than 3 or 4 beers i'll go to bed, then wake up in the middle of the night with my back feeling tingly (almost like how your foot feels when it falls asleep) every single time i'll wake up with this feeling, get up to go to the bathroom (only needing to go pee) and as soon as i sit on the toilet i get extremely nauseous, feeling like i need to puke. now i know it might seem like i just can't handle my alcohol but in the past i've had many more than 3 or 4 beers and have been completely fine. it's just been within the past few months that this has been happening. usually the nausea will go away within an hour. i'll lay there for that time and usually sip on some water and just do some breathing exercises to calm myself down. i'm wondering if this could be from the medication i'm on. the part that worries me a bit is that feeling i get in my back (it feels like it's right along my spine) any advice/comments would be helpful! thank you! | anything more than 3 or 4 beers makes me nauseous | 6r9j08 | not sure about the tingly back, but yes its possible (though not probable) that you are getting an adverse reaction to the combination of escitalopram and alcohol. whats the escitalopram being prescribed for? | askdocs | 6r9j08 |
m 21 i was just diagnosed with it. i don’t have the lying or manipulative mentality or ways.i learned a while back it was wrong to do so i just don’t do it. i kinda knew it tbh that i was one. i always have this emotional blunting to say the least like i never knew how to really feel. idk if it was from trauma i experienced early as a kid or what. i honestly don’t know what to feel about the fact. it explains my detachment from just about everything. it explains a lot of my behavior. should it bother me i honestly have no idea. | psychopathy | egrunh | what circumstances warranted you to undergo an evaluation that resulted in a diagnosis of psychopathy? | mentalhealth | egrunh |
my anxiety is at an all time high. i'm where it should be making landfall. we decided to stay for a number of reasons and i will admit i 100% regret it. i've never been so scared. i can't sleep, eat, and now it's too late to evacuate. we are heading to a friend's house to ride it out. i don't even know that it matters where you are when the storm is this strong. i can't even think straight. pleas keep us in your thoughts and if you pray your prayers.we need it. update: thanks for everyone’s kind words and advice. i wrote this in a complete panic and you guys made me feel so much better. we finally decided to evacuate and i’m safe with the kids and feeling better. still haven’t slept in days because i wake up with my heart beating out of control but it’s better. i won’t be calm until i see if my house is still there. | i'm in hurricane irma's direct path | 6z12g7 | why are people calling this anxiety? this is fear. fear isn't anxiety and not differentiating the two is part of what makes anxiety so damn hard to beat. you have a hurricane coming at you for real. anxiety is when you are scared of irma but live in vancouver. smh. | anxiety | 6z12g7 |
i want so badly to see a doctor, talk about my feelings, and maybe even start a prescription to help me. i hate when i feel the clouds of depression rumbling towards me and i know i'm about to have to just cling on until it passes. i'm a medical student, so i learn how treatable depression is; how well drugs and therapy can work for it. but that also means one day i will have to report all of my psychiatric diagnoses to a credentialing board and to future jobs. i'm not willing to risk the future i've worked so hard for. it hurts because i sit in class learning about how common my problem is and how much i could be helped, but to me it comes at a great cost. our school offers really great mental services, but i could never mention my feelings to one of the therapists. learning that the suicide rate in female physicians is 250x higher than non physician females feels like i'm just tempting fate. i don't know what i want from writing this. i guess just the ability to tell someone how i feel without jeopardizing my future (which is what would happen if i tell a therapist) or putting a family member/friend in a bad place of knowing how broken i am (because they may feel obligated to tell someone which would cause them distress because they know i don't want it to get documented). | if i get my depression diagnosed i could jeopardize my future | 4uwtot | pay out of pocket for evidence based psychotherapy. no third party to know it ever happened. | depression | 4uwtot |
have a friend in asia who was teaching english but because of the corona virus the schools have been closed for over a month and he has ran out of money, doesnt have a flight home and he said he was trying to think of a way to get deported. repatration loans are very difficult to get from the embassy, you have to prove that your circumstaces are exceptional and that you can pay it back after 6 months | how could someone get deported from a country without being put in jail? | fa8m55 | pretty sure you don’t get deported for free....you get housed in whats like a jail facility till they do send you home. you probably end up paying for it as well from what little i know of it..... and my guess is it wouldn’t look good for future travel or living outside of your home country ever again. | advice | fa8m55 |
as a bpd sufferer, i split really, really hard. i can go to wanting to die for how much i love someone to wanting to die for how much i hate that same person in seconds. it just happens. the problem is, sometimes the reason why i split is because of a specific trauma. this is something that happens with men only and it derives from having sexual trauma from a very young age. what happens is that i can text with someone for days or weeks and everything will work out great, but then when it's time to meet up (i often use dating apps) , i always, always split. the idea of them having a body repulses me, therefore i split on them entirely. everything about them becomes ugly and evil and i just disappear from their life because i'm too scared of what i feel when i meet them in person. the feeling i get is very physical; i know it sounds ridiculous but just looking at their face makes me physically want to puke and i immediately want to hurt myself. the same happens with men i already met. maybe directly approaching them in person can help, but then, whenever it's time to actually "touch", i just split. body odours especially trigger my splitting. i can't stand the smell of someone else's sweat or breath. this automatically will make me hate that person and never want to see them again. i left anyone who cared about me because of this. i wish men would not have a body. what do you do to manage the splitting? ps. i hope this isn't misinformation about the disorder. i'm only speaking for my experience and symptoms but of course it's obvious that we don't all have the same triggers. | can't form relationships because of splitting | goiknz | i'd probably work on this in therapy. it sounds less like splitting, more like reactivity to trauma. specific trauma at that. | bpd | goiknz |
my husband and i have been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year now with no success. i don't get periods naturally, so i'm pretty sure i also don't ovulate. my doctor told me that i need to lose 50 lbs before we can look at fertility medication. i've tried keto on two different times and i enjoyed it, but had trouble sticking to it long term. however, both times i ended up getting a natural period within a couple weeks of starting the diet. it blew my mind away with how well it works. no other diet i've ever been on has brought my period back. oddly enough, giving up obvious carbs like bread, sugar, rice, pasta, etc is not what has been hard for me. i just keep wishing i could have more fruits and root vegetables than my 20g carb/day keto diet allows. so, i'm thinking of going up to 100g/day so i can incorporate some of those foods that i have a hard time making space for on a keto diet. i've seen plenty of people with keto success stories here, and i was just wondering if anyone has had any success eating around 100g of carbs a day? | anybody have success getting pregnant with low carb - not keto? | 5v37d3 | i've done the pcos workbook, written by a dietician and therapist who specialize in pcos. that plus metformin gives me periods. the basic gist is no refined carbs, only fruits, veg, and whole grain. then keep your carbs to less than 30/45 per snack/meal and make sure your carbs are eaten with protein and/or fat. i used myfitnesspal and aimed for my fat+protein grams to be more than my grams of carbs per meal or snack while staying under the total carb goal. have you asked about metformin? i get horrible carb cravings without it (and then binge on sweets) and have completely irregular spotting without it. it's really fricken nice to be able to eat a small apple, potato, wrap, or piece of toast in a regular day. | pcos | 5v37d3 |
so i was just diagnosed and my gyn has started me on progesterone at 200mg for two weeks to trigger a period since i haven't really had one for about 6 months. does anyone have experience with this, how long did it take for your period to begin? | newly diagnosed, progesterone to trigger period | 3wj1vm | did the progesterone increase your appetite? or change your appetite at all? | pcos | 3wj1vm |
me 23f and my boyfriend 23m, been dating for 4 years now and everything was fine until recently. i mean we had ups and downs in these 4 years. but never come to discuss this issue as we have avoided because i was afraid he might leave me one day. he thinks being with me might end up disappointing his family because he is from a religious family. he started seeing another girl in secret without me knowing and said he was doing it for his family. i feel betrayed and broken but i still love him. he promised there was nothing between him and the other girl but im just having a hard time to accept the fact he was hiding that from me and was just gonna leave me one day to marry her. i do no know if i should let him go or wait for him as he wants me to be in his future. but he promised that he doesnt have any feelings for her. but his future depends on being with her. i love him enough to accept him dating another girl while with me. but it just breaks me into pieces everyday. :(( please advice. | boyfriend of 4 years leaving me because he doesnt want to disappoint his family. do i just accept it? please advice | 766l16 | you should have let him go a long time ago i'm sorry to say, esp. if you knew he'd always choose his family and religion over you. | relationship_advice | 766l16 |
saw a meme about how "confessing to strangers" is cheaper than going to a therapist. that got me thinking about what would a therapist say about people who do anonymous conversations to talk about things they wouldn't want to bring up with their friends... healthy, unhealthy, more harm than good, or neutral? assuming other users of whatever messaging platform are generally average people also... not like weird fringe anonymous message boards but like the mainstream social media anonymous messaging platforms. | anonymous intereactions? | ehfffk | it might be cheaper, but i worry that some folks need someone trained to help and there can be more damage done or misinformation given by well intentioned folks online without the training. there’s a reason therapists get masters and doctoral degrees. trust me it’s not just for funsies (well maybe a little funsies). but the training does a lot in terms of the professional looking at their own values, views, etc that are needed to provide the care ethically and effectively. the approaches we learn are evidence based and have rational and skills that are learned as part of training. yes some could argue that there’s a bunch of therapists on here that are providing info and support, but this isn’t the same as going into a session and really getting into the nitty gritty stuff. to be in the here and now in the moment with a client to really experience the emotion and have someone there to process through that emotion. there needs to be on going sessions where these things can be explored, processed, and worked through that cannot be done via the internet. the relationship that is built between therapist and client is the number one thing that is going to help create change. it’s the one on one and the digging into things in session. i might see a look or hear something in the voice that tells me a lot of info that words on a screen will never convey. it’s those things that in the moment i can grab onto and dig in, so many times this is one of those break through moments in the process. so yes there’s a place for online things and if someone asking something on reddit helps them to dig deep and take the step to go to therapy awesome! however, i don’t believe it could be a replacement for real in person therapy. there’s so much more that goes into sessions than just words and techniques. | askatherapist | ehfffk |
so here i am. had to move away from the party for half an hour to calm me thoughts. turned down the champagne and had four pieces of wedding cake in stead. i stacked up a bag full of sugar free chocolate, almonds, snacks and non alcoholic beer from home and praying i will get through the next 12 hours of my best friends’ wedding at a castle in denmark without drinking. i rarely do the serenity prayer but today i feel like saying: “god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can and wisdom to see the difference” | best friend’s wedding at castle with free everything - trying to stay strong | 9g1ci9 | do tell more about the castle etc.... well done too. | stopdrinking | 9g1ci9 |
if i don’t have this disorder, then i’m afraid i am just mentally deficient in some way i’ll never really know and i will never actually feel that my struggles are valid. my chronically depression addled brain and low self esteem leads me to believe i’m just plain dumb. i never did very well in school. barely graduated high school and had pretty consistently low grades up until college, when i managed something like a 3.6 gpa (majored in illustration, so just generals and art classes.) i continue to struggle just being able to focus and process/retain information. i feel mentally slow a lot of the time. i have been “tested” using that simple short questionnaire. it was suspected that i “may” have adhd inattentive type. i was on strattera years ago. i believe i was prescribed this after having this urine test done that showed what brain..chemicals i was deficient in? it might have been dopamine? i’m not even sure. i don’t even remember why i went off it or how well it worked. i’m guessing not that well if i decided to go off it. my long term memory is kind of terrible. anyway, i have been prescribed ritalin xr (and adderall xr, both for short periods. i gave up on both because i didn’t feel any noticeable change, except for some depressive episodes that seemed worse than usual. but then, i haven’t been on any adhd meds for a few weeks and had another episode (it’s always after work that i really crash) so...i just don’t know. looking into it, i have a lot of the symptoms but not all so it makes me think maybe i don’t quite fit the diagnosis? i don’t know if there’s some adhd specialist i need to see before i’m convinced that i even have this or not but i’m in a low place right now and just wanted to get this off my chest. kind of hoping i could get some feedback, too. | i’m afraid that i don’t have adhd | aa23pp | dbt could be a good fit. given that it is very skills-based, some with adhd find that it can work well for them since you can “train” yourself to use the skills and remember them better since many are remembered by mnemonic device. edit: spelled mnemonic wrong 😁 | adhd | aa23pp |
i'm really think that much of the training a mental health professional does is shrouded in mystery and that this lack of information is really harmful to clients. specifically, i would like to know what were your supervised hours like. how many hours of supervised hours did you need to complete to get your license? what was the supervision like? how much did you meet with your supervising clinician? what did you talk about? how much did you talk about each client? was it like 5 minutes per person per week? more? how an active of a role did the supervisor take in each case? i realize that it might be different for those of you who were working with serious cases in clinics or hospitals. but i'm specifically interested in those who worked at an average private practice. | what were your supervised hours like as an intern? | hqi0z3 | this varies by region and program. i had about 1500 supervised hours as a practicum student with 150ish hours of supervision. my internship was 2000 hours , with 1 hour of group sup every week , 2 hours of didactics and 2 hours of individual sup. then, 2000 hours of post doc with 2 hours of sup a week. | askatherapist | hqi0z3 |
hi, there is my blood test results and some of results are not match to reference interval. it isn't made in us, but i think docs can understand. i am male, 27. taking gabapentin, and phenibut or baclofen(for anxiety). thank you! WEBLINK | my blood test. any advice please... | 5npoe3 | my georgian isn't good , but it looks pretty normal. | askdocs | 5npoe3 |
i think i have become pretty add, and i've considered going to a psychiatrist just to get an opinion. so, i go on my insurance, and this is what i find out: in order to get mental health care of any kind, you have to call the insurance and basically talk to them at length about your problem, then they decide if you need help, how badly, and where/when you can go. **website:** WEBLINK **the important bit:** *to get help, members can simply call 1-800-867-6758 (tty/tdd hearing impaired 1-800-486-7914) to talk to an experienced mental health care professional. he or she will determine the member's needs and will link him or her with a mental health or substance abuse health care professional in that area that is most qualified to meet the member's needs. this is called “authorization.” it helps members get the help they need quickly and conveniently. remember: before a member receives inpatient or outpatient services, he or she needs to call ubh for authorization.* my bullshit alarms started blaring, as it just doesn't seem right. for example: me. i only sorta wanted to go, and this completely turns me off of going. it's enough of a deterrent for people (who probably are nervous/embarrassed about going anyway) to say fuck it and not go. it's hard enough to tell a doctor you are depressed or something. now you gotta tell some asshole from your insurance over the phone? secondly, doesn't this violate some sort of hippa/privacy law? the whole thing seems like bullshit. * how is it legal for them to demand you tell them about your problems? isn't there some privacy laws preventing that? * is there any good reason they would do this? because, the only benefit i see for them is that it will prevent a lot of people from going, which is good for them. it smells like a 100% roadblock with no logical reason to be doing it. it sorta bums me out. i am a dude who thinks he might have a touch of the add, so its just irritating. but, i imagine this bullshit has actually killed people. people get really fucking depressed, and anything that might dissuade them from getting help is criminal imo. so... i started googling. and, i found this: **mental health parity and addiction equity act (2008)** **some websites:** * WEBLINK * WEBLINK * WEBLINK * WEBLINK **the important bits:** *on october 3rd, 2008, the paul wellstone and pete domenici mental health parity and addiction equity act of 2008 was signed into law. this new federal law requires group health insurance plans (those with more than 50 insured employees) that offer coverage for mental illness and substance use disorders to provide those benefits in no more restrictive way than all other medical and surgical procedures covered by the plan. the mental health parity and addiction equity act does not require group health plans to cover mental health (mh) and substance use disorder (sud) benefits but, when plans do cover these benefits, mh and sud benefits must be covered at levels that are no lower and with treatment limitations that are no more restrictive than would be the case for the other medical and surgical benefits offered by the plan.* *plans that require a prior authorization for all mental health benefits but do not require such prior authorization for medical/surgical benefits are applying a nqtl that violates the parity law. additionally, a plan is not allowed to apply a stricter nqtl to mental health benefits than is applied to medical/surgical benefits.* note: my insurance does not require any sort of pre-authorization for anything but mental health. so... they are breaking federal law, yes? this is a huge insurance company. why the hell would they so blatantly break the law? furthermore, how has this not been taken to court or something yet? the act was passed in 2008... did they find a loophole? is this actually illegal? how should i proceed? any advice or information would be amazing. thank you guys so much. | my insurance required pre-authorization for mental health help. is this even legal (sources/argument inside). | 17fep9 | requiring preauthorization is not unheard of in dealing with insurance companies, for both mental health and physical health concerns. i don't deal with the billing for my clients in my office, but i do know that our intake coordinator often calls for the clients to receive preauthorization for our services. almost all of the clients are approved, but again, almost all need to be preauthorized. it doesn't really violate hippa because the insurance company is going to be alerted to your condition if you want them to pick up the tab. preauthorization essentially helps the insurance company manage their costs. it doesn't mean they won't pay for services, but essentially they want to make sure, for example, they're aren't paying for inpatient treatment when a client only needs outpatient services. now, i'm defending their actions, just explaining why they do what they do. | mentalhealth | 17fep9 |
**age**: 26 **sex**: female **height**: 6' **weight**: 215lbs (i'm going to the gym) **other conditions**: i have adhd, and bipolar disorder. i take depakote, lexapro, and vyvanse for that. i'm a deep sleeper, i always have been. i've been a sleepwalker too, and my dreams have been intense (i still remember some from when i was a kid). i've been able to lucid dream since i was very young. problem is, i can fall asleep anywhere. i have a very hard time waking up, and staying awake. i've fallen asleep standing up before. last week i went to the er for a bladder/kidney infection. i fell asleep in the waiting room, and apparently the doctor and nurse had been trying to wake me up for over 5 minutes but i just kept falling back asleep. i also have an issue sometimes differentiating my dreams from my real life. not in a "loss of reality" way, but in a kind of blurred feeling. like, the boundaries have gotten fuzzy. | i [26/f] think i may have a sleep disorder? | 6mv4xy | how long has this been happening? any recent changes to your medication? | askdocs | 6mv4xy |
5’2”, ~150 pounds. i’ve had depression for the majority of my life, though i was only diagnosed a couple years ago. i don’t smoke, very rarely drink. i finally found some medication, prozac, that seemed to be working with a 20mg dose, after a months-long stint with a wellbutrin/zoloft combo didn’t do squat for me. i moved to a new state about seven months ago, and after three months i had to quit my meds cold turkey because i ran out and i couldn’t afford anymore, and i’m still fighting with my insurance. the only withdrawals i could personally note at the time was horrible night sweats and a drop in my energy. the sweating eventually stopped after about eight weeks. only very recently have i noticed that i have a stuttering issue that i don’t remember ever having before. it’s not extremely pronounced; if i had to explain it, i could be in the middle of a sentence, some word trips me up, and my brain sort of... blue screens? and i can get stuck on that word for as long as 10 seconds, just stammering out the first letter over and over, rapid fire. my partner has noted it started around the time i went off my medication, and has expressed worry that my stuttering has only become more frequent over time. it’s starting to make talking to people embarrassing and makes me more anxious than it usually does. i don’t understand how withdrawals could cause a speech issue. i didn’t even think withdrawals would last longer than a couple months. is this something i should be concerned about, or look into further? i’m worried that it could be indicative of a bigger problem, but i feel like that could just be my paranoia talking. | can antidepressant withdrawals cause stuttering? [24f] | f1nk19 | something of a side note, but relevant and important: as long as you have someone prescribing, prozac is one of the cheapest medications you can take, often cheaper just out of pocket than through insurance. it's $4 for a month's supply at walmart, and often around $5-10 per month elsewhere. it should be doable. | askdocs | f1nk19 |
hello all, i'm currently in college. i've been very focused on my career and had no interest in girls for a while. about a month ago, i saw some girl in pottery class working on her pottery. i found her to be strikingly pretty. i meant to stay in the pottery class for 5 minutes and leave but ended up sticking around for 30 minutes when i did not need to be there. i ended up making a flat clay where i basically carved "just wanted to tell you that you are *really* pretty." i put it next to one of her pots when she left the spot for a second and left. my intention, as a student who's very focused on his career, was to just let her know that she is very pretty, nothing more. i didn't think myself good enough for her anyway. and then i saw her here and there - i don't think she knew it was me. and then my brain was telling me i shouldn't do this, but i ended up writing a note saying that i think that she is very pretty with my phone number. i went up to her and gave her the note and left. i got a text message with her thanking me today. here's the problem: 1) our final exams are in 4 days, so i can't see myself asking her out. 2) finals in 4 days means summer is right around the corner. 3) i unfortunately lack confidence. i do not know what to text her. long response about my honest feelings/very short response? thank you all | i [20m] passed a note to a complete stranger [19-20f] and don't know what to do - just got text | 694p3b | "want to grab coffee after finals?" | relationship_advice | 694p3b |
hello, my father (69m) is set up to receive a heart transplant any time between now and the next six months. the last year or so of his life been pretty up and down as his heart failure has resulted in multiple trips to the er as well as a pic line set up for him to take diaretic and other fluids at home. my main question, which answer has been (understandably) very wishy washy from doctors is, if a heart transplant is successful, what will my dads life look life afterwards? i understand it takes time for the body to accept the organ and what not so just going off best case scenarios. right now three flights of stairs would be a lot for him. he used to be an avid skier and hiker. would he be able to pick some of those activities back up? or does his endurance and strength stay about the same, just overall is better and he gets to see my family grow up? thank you for your time | realistic expectations from transplant | e2nw3g | some of this depends on details of the heart disease requiring transplant. generally, barring immediate complications, functional outcomes are good. after a transplant most people can resume work and, although they are usually deconditioned from illness, can resume exercising. in your terms, he probably won’t immediately gain strength, but he will regain enough stamina to eventually regain strength and more stamina if he works at it. there’s no promise of a good outcome, but that is the outcome for most patients in the short term and lasting for years. | askdocs | e2nw3g |
we have a good relationship and are pretty happy despite this...but he feels like i push, nag and that he can never make decisions on his own.. which is usually because i have to plan stuff. tonight he said something that made me really uncomfortable because he said i was pushing him. he said " i can't take it or i'll fucking kill you one day. you want that?" this comment stemmed from me saying he doesn't really save his money as he constantly eats out everyday or spends money on things he doesn't need. i counsel women who experience abuse and i don't know if i'm reading into this too much or it's just a simple fight. i'm awful at advising myself. i just want to know what someone would do. | when my boyfriend [28m] and i [26f] argue, he tends to get super angry and say really awful things. we have been together for almost 3 years. | 69jbsk | someone walks into your office for counseling saying: my boyfriend is often verbally cruel when he's angry. but yesterday he said he might kill me one day if i don't 'learn to lay off.' this morning he told me i was blowing things out of proportion, and that he only said that jokingly because i was criticizing him. it didn't feel like a joke. what would you recommend? | relationship_advice | 69jbsk |
hello reddit drs! i am currently taking 30mg of citalapram to help with anxiety and depression. i was originally prescribed it to help me sleep ( settle thoughts and anxiety). however nothing seems to help me sleep. i started at like 10mg and increased to current dose. at this point i am looking for something to just help me sleep the night through. preferably nothing that can cause addictions and wont interfere with my current medications. i am exhausted all the time and just really need to sleep. about me: * age: 27 * sex: f * height: 5 ft 10 * weight: 165 * race: caucausian * duration of symptoms: about a year * location: canada ( no body complaints) * prior issues: depression, anxiety * medications citalapram 30mg, alesse 28 days * i smoke just under a pack a day * i dont drink often or do any recreational drugs | need help sleeping. i am on citalapram and nothing seems to be working | cgwch6 | who prescribed it? there are non-addicting medications for anxiety and depression that might help, such as trazodone or mirtazapine, but they have their own side effects and would need a discussion with your doctor. | askdocs | cgwch6 |
so there's this guy in two of my classes, and he started chatting with me and seeming quite friendly. one time, he even invited me to walk with him to his next class. i did, and we had a great conversation and all that jazz. thinking he was a friendly acquaintance, i started chatting with him before and after the class we *usually* sit next together in. but last week, he was kind of standoffish and aloof, but still sat next to me in class. last monday, he seemed more cheerful and also sat next to me. i didn't get much of a chance to talk to him though, because he had to talk to our professor after class. but today, when he walked into class, i smiled, made eye contact, as i usually do…but he sits three desks away from me. i'm certain he saw me. i honestly don't know what i could have done to piss him off. maybe i was too friendly? i don't think so, i just made typical small talk. and this guy started taking to and being friendly to me first. i don't understand what is going on here. | why didn't he sit next to me? | 119aiw | i wouldn't read too much into it. continue to be friendly towards him in the way that you were before. maybe he just had a different friend that he wanted to sit by, or maybe he was feeling introverted that day or something. if next class he also sits away from you, then it might be appropriate for you to ask him something like "hey, i kind of like talking with you, and i liked it when we sat next to each other. have i annoyed you or anything, or would you like to sit together again?" but wait at least one more time before worrying about it :) | socialskills | 119aiw |
21m 5'8" 150lb caucasian, symptoms= memory loss & cognitive difficulties, heat intolerance, erectile dysfunction. so 5 years ago i entered the hospital for the first time with complaints of memory loss and cognitive complaints, and since it has definetely become debilitating i am no longer able to work or study in college,i am gradually withdrawing from all aspects of my life in the past months i spend all my time indoors at my parents house. i went to one of the most qualified neurologists at the hospital and explained my symptoms, the neurologist went into very in depth explanation about apathy and dementia. she explained that people with neurological disorders become apathetic, and lose interest in all activities because they have difficulty figuring out how to do an activity and lose motivation. so she recommended to my mom that i need to start more activities and make a schedule of daily goal oriented activities for my brain, which is what people with real dementia get recommended. the problem is... well it's not pseudodementia the neurologist even said that i should be able to improve if i begin antidepressants and goal oriented activities daily, but i have been continuing to get worse very very consistently. i never get better every month there is a consistent deterioration in my symptoms there has never been an improvement it is completely real dementia and it is what i have known for years now. i have a real completely real neurological disorder for example= multiple sclerosis(just an example i can't know which disorder i have). i highly suspect multiple sclerosis because i have many symptoms which are common in ms, heat intolerance, memory problems, irritated vision | 21m, neurologist diagnosed pseudodementia which is often confused with true neurological dementia | e60yqd | the odds of having dementia in your twenties, regardless of the type of dementia, are minuscule. ms doesn't have highly classic symptoms because of its variability, but what you describe isn't a classic presentation, and in fact what would be expected is usually symptoms that appear and disappear. you don't mention any diagnostic workup or any medications tried. what has been done about this? | askdocs | e60yqd |
hey again !! so i've just been processing my thoughts lol i'll set it out in the the development of the day before the date 4am could barely even sleep as i was quite excited about going on the date haha 10am haha so at this point it was like an hour before i was to set off cycling to meet her , and i was just getting so nervous my mind kept on going blank all the time haha and she thought was was cute haha 11am set off from my parents on my bike 😁 i just kept on getting more and more nervous really with every passing second , 12am i got there and i was so unbelievably flustered and nervous lol but we meet up and it felt like it went really well from the get go 😊 we went to get a coffee first and we started to chat out just mutual interests really first like similar music tastes , and pretty much surface level stuff really haha. just stuff to break the ice. so i brought up my running and the band's i've been listening too lately haha. i ended up spilling milk on myself as the table was unstable and she went to get some napkins 😂 and i said "if that hasn't broken the ice , i don't know what will 😂😂" we went for a walk and looked for a place to eat and oh did i mention by this point we we're holding hands and stuff 😊 so like we found this nice local place and we had some food on the table outside. we we're talking about alot of stuff festivals we want to go to , similar struggles me have with making friends and actually doing stuff with other people and we related alot. we went for a walk in the woods around the quaint little town we we're in and it was lovely , we were looking for a nice secluded place to watch the film we wanted to watch but i got us lost and we ended up walking back into town 😂 we then got drinks and decided it probably time for her to head back home as it was 5pm at this point , so i hugged her good bye and cycled back my house lol 😊 honestly i can't even put my finger on it , like by this point i'm usually totally obsessed by the girl i've been on a date with . however i'm not at all at this point , i just feel like she's really cute and i want to see again ! we got alot of mutual interests however we also have some which aren't. like i'm really into running but like you don't have to relate on everything as long as the other person appreciates your interest. if anything running for a while maybe a year ago was completely taking over my life lol and i do want more of a balanced life job wise and interest wise. i'm actually happy that i'm not totally obbesed for a girl instantly for once as usually when this happens for me it's superficial and it doesn't last very long and last time that happened i got into not the best relationship which i regretted.. i'm really excited to see her again and we're talking about possibly going wild swimming , wild camping , playing boardgames , ice skating maybe , biking loads of possible stuff !! one thing i loved was i didn't have to pretend to be some else as you just end up miserable then. although i did feel kinda socially exhausted a bit after but in a good way because i haven't been used to spending time with anyone like that for so long really.. so obviously i was nervous and everything but that's natural and i was even a little awkward haha 😅 however i feel like if you're not at all then you probably aren't interested and she said her self she's really shy anyway and in a way i found that really cute. don't know what else to say as there's so much i could say but i hope this will suffice 😂😂 update : just before people ask haha , i actually matched with on tinder literally yesterday 😂😂 she was super straight forward and she said she was autistic 😂 update : it's also made me more positive today and i think i'm gonna work on getting the self referral for my diagnosis sorted as it's something i've been putting off | hey guys i'm back with an update !! if you don't know i'm the dude who went on a date with this girl who is also an aspie lol | hr8wt6 | this is so sweet. so happy for you! thanks for sharing this with us!!! we are all rooting for you :) | aspergers | hr8wt6 |
i was talking with a friend last night and they seemed really freaked out about it, i thought it was fairly normal and everyone's memory was that fuzzy, he seemed to have some kind of incredible super-memory and i thought he was the weird one - but now i'm feeling a bit self conscious about it? examples - i can't remember any of my old addresses from the houses i used to live in. i can't remember any of the titles of the classes i took at university (let alone any of the content) i can't remember the names of any of the kids i went to high school with (except for the ones i still have on facebook) i can't remember what i did for any of my birthdays. he said "okay what were you doing in summer of 2010?" and i had to logically think "well i would have been 20, so that year i would have been (i'm trying to think of it now as i'm typing this and kind of struggling)..... no i can't remember. i have no idea. i would have gone back to my parents house that summer because i would have been at college, but i have no idea what happened. i want to talk about it with someone but don't want to come across weird to my friends (because the guy last night reacted pretty weirdly) - so, any similar experiences? | i can't really remember clearly anything that happened more than 12 months ago, is that weird? | 24137h | there's no reason to worry. the brain works on a "use it or lose it" principal. as you think about things less, they get harder to think about. the cells in your brain go through a pruning process which removes any cells that haven't been activated some time. this includes memories stored in different areas of the brain. additionally, memory is a difficult process and memories themselves degrade the less you think about them. | mentalhealth | 24137h |
i'm only 21 but i've had long relationship after long relationship with maybe 6+ months in-between each of them since i was a freshman in hs. i'm not someone who feels like they need a bf at all, but i've always enjoyed flirting and "the chase" and then that always seemed to lead to a relationship. so here i am dating this amazing guy who i'm moving in with in the fall but i'm scared. i'm scared that he really is the one that i'm going to marry and that i'm never going to have the chance to just date around and have crazy passionate romances that only last for a little while. the worst part of all of this is that i'm emotionally cheating on him with this other guy through text and the occasional drink downtown. i know i don't actually want this other guy but the flirting and "what ifs" make me feel invigorated... until i'm hit with the regret of what i'm actually doing. my bf is everything i want a husband to be but how do i come to terms with the fact that, as a junior in college, i'm never going to date again? and how do i end things with the other guy? i desperately need advice. | i'm 21 and my boyfriend is 24, we've been dating for over a year and i love him but i'm not sure i'm ready for this to be it for me (i.e. my final relationship). please help | 68w0po | you're simply not ready for a ltr at this stage of life. you likely will be in the future...but not now. sometimes you meet the right guy at the wrong time. i met my wife at 16, dumped her, wrote to her 10 years later and we got married. that was 1978! | relationship_advice | 68w0po |
hi, i'm a 22 year old guy who feels lost and hopeless. the statement that "there's light at the end of the tunnel" i would reply, what tunnel? i know i'm only 22 but oh my god it has been rough. i'm so frustrated, annoyed, i don't even know where to begin. i read a lot of rescue kitten stories and i've just told myself that if a kitten can be rescued surely i can. i'm stuck doing a degree at a fucked up university in a fucked up country, so i guess it's no shocker that i'm going through what i'm going through. but god i don't see a way out of it, really i don't, nor am i sure if i want or should get out of it. i feel humiliated, embarassed, undignified. the things that si used to like i'm not sure about, everythig in life i'm not sure about. constantly confused. anxiety and panic have been very good friends of mine, including feelig as if you're going to die, like you can't breathe anymore while you're sleeping, then you wake up as a result of that. the talk of energy and power is absolutely useless at this point, rarely do i have a "bright" moment. most of my humiliation and embarrassment come as a result of me trying to "go outside" or "having friends" or anything that a normal person would do. i just want to ask, did someone go through and made it? cause i've searched many times, tried counselling and anti-depressants and they didn't work. i really don't know what to do. | me right now. | 68brdz | what kind of life would you want for yourself? | mentalhealth | 68brdz |
i just turned 29 and suddenly i am having horrific flashbacks of my childhood traumas. everything is hazy but i remember the feelings of fear... i believe i was conditioned by a family member or a family friend. my family isn’t close and everyone is very secretive about whatever happened in my past. the words i hear in my head over and over are, “you want god to love you, don’t you? if you don’t do this with me then god won’t love you any more and you will go to hell.” and it continues on in words similar to that. my anxiety and depression has gotten worse over the past year due to the triggers of current events and media. i feel like i need to solve the mysteries in my mind of the things that plague me from my past. i wonder if hypnotherapy would be helpful. | hypnotherapy to ease childhood rape trauma? | 9tadsv | hypnotherapy is poorly evidenced. waste of your money, and probably counterintuitive. seek proper support from specialised trauma services. | mentalhealth | 9tadsv |
been dealing with depression and anxiety for about 6 years. taking sertraline and wellbutrin. recently i've been very paranoid to the point where i dont want to leave the house without a weapon, even carry one around different areas of the house, constantly checking windows and behind things etc. thoughts? | paranoia | 9egv3q | i am not an md, so i will not make any recommendations about medications, as that is far outside of the scope of my field, which is psychology. i will say that medications can become less effective after many years of usage, which might be the case. i would consult with a psychiatrist about updating your treatment plan and medication regimen, as your symptoms are reemerging. also, i know it sucks to switch doctors, especially after you've been going to the same one forever, but sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can be beneficial. what type of doctor has been prescribing the sert and wellbutrin? | mentalhealth | 9egv3q |
i have always wanted to start a family and have kids, and am actively looking for someone who wants the same. it’s proven hard for me to meet women in the city where i live and i have not been successful in attracting women to me in the last 2 years i’ve lived here. we’re both in our early 30s. we’ve dated for a couple of months and i have developed feelings for her during this time which she knows about. she keeps saying that she likes me a lot, is looking for a ltr, and wants to have kids soon, but needs more time to decide whether we can be a couple or not. i have a busy schedule, but would like to spend more time with her (at least 2-3 evenings per week) so that we can get to the point in 4-5 months where we know whether we are ready for long term commitment to each other or not. but there are several things about her that make me concerned that i may be being juvenile in thinking that a ltr with her is a possibility: 1. happy hours: she works for a tech company and goes to different happy hour events in the city at least 2-3 evenings every week with different male friends. she drinks more than i would consider appropriate for weekday evenings. she prefers going to these happy hour events usually alone with one of her 3 male friends who work in the same industry at other companies, and i am somewhat suspicious of the nature of their relationships. i’ve seen one of them hold her around her shoulder while walking her to his car before giving her a ride home and i’ve seen her hold his hands once another time. when i brought it up with her, she said she doesn’t remember holding hands with him and maybe he held her around her shoulder because she “really needed to be held” at that time. i have multiple female friends, but we always hang out in groups, and we are not physically close with each other the same way she is with her male friends. 2. salsa friend: she goes salsa dancing 2-3 nights every week with another male friend. she seemed unwilling to bring me along the 2 times i’ve wanted to go with her when she was going out with him. she talk about this salsa friend a lot and her eyes light up and dilate every time she talks about him – “he was so nice to drive 80 extra miles just to give me a ride home at 3am” “his moves are so smooth on the dance floor”. 3. plans for next week: “i am hanging out with my salsa friend on monday, wednesday, and friday nights. i am going to a happy hour with guy friend 1 on tuesday, and with guy friend 2 on thursday. i am going to the beach with guy friend 3 on sunday afternoon and for dinner in the evening. i am going hiking with my girl friend 1 on saturday. do you want to meet up saturday evening for dinner and may be stay over at my place for the night?” 4. busy on phone: all of her friends text/fb message her all the time. they text back and forth all day, including late at night while she is staying over at my place, and while we are on our dates on weekend evenings. when i text her, she takes 1-8 hours to respond. but she is far more responsive with her other friends. 5. secretive: she guards her phone closely when i am around and seems to get nervous if i reach anywhere near her phone. she has told me a couple of times that she hung out with her girl friend 1 last evening, but i later found out from her roommate that she actually hung out with one of her guy friends. i feel that her lifestyle does not allow me to spend enough time with her and to explore the possibility of a ltr. also, her heavy drinking and spending too much time alone with multiple male friends bother me. in my view, this lifestyle would have been totally ok for someone in her 20s, but not for someone in her early 30s who wants 3 kids within the next 3 years. since finding someone who’s ready for a ltr is a priority for me, i am thinking of distancing myself from her. should i try to give this relationship more time, or just move on and find someone who’ll value me more than she does? tl;dr - 31m searching for ltr currently hung up on a 30f who seems only mildly interested and not compatible because of her lifestyle. also appears to be dating multiple people. should try giving this relationship more time, or just move on and try finding someone else? x-post from /r/dating_advice | (30f) wants to keep take things slowly, but i (31m) am emotionally involved. her lifestyle doesn’t leave room for a committed relationship. how to move forward? | 6pkc8d | move on. she doesn't want what you want. | relationship_advice | 6pkc8d |
hey all! as the title mentions, i'm start metformin tonight. i've tried searching already on what to expect with this. so far i've gotten "lava butt", "farts you can't trust", and "be near a toilet at all times". are those the only side effects? i know you should take it with food, is there anything else that helps alleviate some of these symptoms? my doctor said if i have a lot of issues to bump my dose down to 1 a day (i'm on 2x500mg a day right now) for a week and then back up to twice a day. just wanting to hear from you lovely and experience ladies on this one! i'm excited that there may be light at the end of this tunnel after months of exercise and eating right! | after months of doctors, birth control, and other bs, i'm finally starting metformin...what can i expect? | 4ql8fx | i am apparently the only person who didn't get stomach issues from metformin. i have a preexisting anxiety condition that was controlled with medication, but shortly after i started metformin my anxiety got out of control. i'm working with my doc to find a solution that works. | pcos | 4ql8fx |
i'd like to contact them this morning, but i've never been good at being deceitful, which is what this feels like. i can either get free va care that's above par, or pay for 'lower level' emdr civilian care. i talked to the va hospital over the phone once about this, many months ago, it didn't seem fulfilling (i asked for 'guidance'). edit: i already have va coverage. i haven't been to the va in over a year. i just made an appointment request online. | would it be improper to ask va hospital for assistance? i'm a vet, but i had ptsd before i enlisted. | a705pc | its common for vets to have been traumatized prior to service and then again during service. so long as you were traumatized or in some diagnostically legit way fucked up by your service then va should help. most of the vets i treat (through the choice program) are double traumatized in this fashion. by the way, va care can be good or it can suck, just like anywhere else you mightvseek help. nothing special about va. | ptsd | a705pc |
my girlfriend still hangs out with her "friend" who sexually assaulted her, i've told her that it makes me uncomfortable that she would still hang out with him alone and she told me that she wouldn't and someone would be there with them if she did, i told her i don't understand how she could still consider him a friend after what he did, but she said that she cares for him too much to even cut him off and that what he did wasn't even a big deal, even though he forced himself onto her and she repeatedly said "no" and to "stop" and he still continued. every time i see him, i want to fucking kill him, and just her mentioning his name and the fact that she still talks to him gives me so much anxiety. and i told her this, and she asked "if there's anything i could do to change that, tell me" and i told her "i've told you before, but you wouldn't even do that" (me referring to making her cutting off all ties with him) and i feel like that makes me an abusive partner in a way? but i just really need some advice from someone. | my gf [16/f] still hangs out with the guy that sexually assaulted her. [16/f] | 6dud57 | that's pretty sick. she needs help/ | relationship_advice | 6dud57 |
not sure how to handle this situation any longer. back story- met my wife, i smoked she did not, date for a while and she starts occasionally smoking. time goes on she smokes more and more. soon it's a habit, first thing in the am, before she'd do anything, or just sit around smoking all day. gets pregnant, we stop, child's born, and after a while we occasionally smoke socially. as time goes on and kid is in preschool, her habit jumps right to where it left off. except now she's unemployed. its at the point where it's the first thing she does when she wakes up, and she'll smoke every hour or 2 throughout the day. it does not negatively effect her mothering ability, she's a wonderful mother. but it's a huge financial burden. (im the only financial support for our family.) yes i do smoke. nothing like my wife. i don't mind that she smokes, well i mind the amount and frequency, or how it seems she can not/or just will not do anything with out smoking. if we're going out some where, has to smoke right before we leave. will smoke alone if i don't feel like part taking. and as soon as we arrive home. always worried about making sure she can get more before she runs out. pot seems to become a necessity to her. i pay for it all yet it's all hers, but contributes nothing finally. i want to adress the whole situation. i'm willing to stop to get her to stop.... ling story short, my wife is a freeloading pothead, i love her, and i don't know how to get her to see that she has a... problem, that's causing unnecessary financial stress. but since i smoke trying to talk to her about her habit, makes me a hypocrite to her. any time i try and bring it up i get excuses, and justifications, and the you don't understand it helps my anexity and depression. and it's just pot. just very defensive and unwilling to listen. all the typical things a person in the depth of addiction say. i understand it helps with anxiety and depression, that's why i part take. so i get it. my issue is i don't know how to have the conversation with out it blowing up. i always give in when i say when it's gone it's gone, because i hate seeing her scrape pipes for res, like a crack head would, because i don't want to hear her complain about everything, and zombie into her phone. i give in because the times i haven't she's borrowed money from her father, or called my buddy for a spot. and i'm stuck paying it back. i don't want to leave her, i just want her to contribute to our family. for her to realize the unnecessary stress she add to our finances. get her to stick to when what's purchased for the pay period is gone, it's gone. | unemployed wife's expensive pot habit | 6g641h | there's no way to have the discussion without it blowing up. you're married to an addict. she's not gonna be happy if you try to limit her use. also, if you think it's not affecting her parenting, you are fooling yourself. how could it not - she's using all the time. you could consider, for yourself: counseling, naranon, or just read codependent no more. good luck. | relationship_advice | 6g641h |
i took 2500mg last friday but then i panicked and didn’t go through with it. i induced vomiting and was suffering from stomach pain and my menstrual cramps after were worse than normal. is it safe to take one tablet for it? 5’5”, 151 pounds and 18f medical history: bipolar disorder, mild brain damage due to suffocation at 11, nut and dairy allergy | if i recently tried to od on acetaminophen can i take it for period pain? | 8pfbfv | this is not quite the question you asked, but have you spoken to your doctor about the overdose? i'm not sure if this is a new thing for you, or something that has happened before, but it sounds like you may also need some support around your mood? apologies if you have already taken care of this, just wanted to put it out there. | askdocs | 8pfbfv |
hi! i've never been to therapy, nor do i know anyone that has. the past year has been very hard for me, as three members of my family passed away and i'm still grieving. recently i've started to feel unhappy in my marriage, and i'm considering a divorce. while i see reason why this might be a good decision for me, i'm not sure whether i should make such a big decision while i'm still grieving, and while we're in hard time with my husband because of corona-related financial issues (we just have one income, and spend around 80% of it on rent alone). i feel like this situation doesn't represent what our future together would or could be, so i'm not sure whether now is right time for such decision. i really want to talk this through with someone who has more experience (i'm in my early twenties) and i don't want to talk to my friends or family because i want to come to the decision on my own and i feel like i could get influenced by their opinions. do you think seeing a therapist would help me with that? if so, is it unethical to see a therapist now when many people have bigger issues that they surely have to deal with (corona, racism)? | is it okay to see therapist even if you just want to discuss a single decision you have to make? | gykzj9 | >do you think seeing a therapist would help me with that? yup! tell them when you go that that's your goal. >if so, is it unethical to see a therapist now when many people have bigger issues that they surely have to deal with (corona, racism)? definitely not. also, a secret: it is very, very common for people to think, "well, other people have more serious issues and deserve help more than i do" no matter how serious their issues are. my guess is that if someone came to you with this dilemma, you would encourage them to get help anyways. | askatherapist | gykzj9 |
i’ve always felt like i had to be a different person around them than who i truly am. i’ve distanced myself from them the last two year, and i’ve really been able to notice when my identity gets all jacked up. it’s mostly when i interact or talk to my parents, because almost always, something negative happens. when i feel like i can be my true self, it always comes to bite me in the butt and then i go about my regular life without them for a little while and things are foggy until i can regain to center, which always takes so long. sorry if i’m rambling, but i feel like i know exactly who i am, and who i’m capable of, but this rocky stability is exhausting. | i think my parents are partially responsible for my borderline. | a019y6 | it’s pretty much guaranteed your parents play a role in developing those patterns. of course there also tends to be a certain disposition. | mentalhealth | a019y6 |
i just started at this office job. most of the team are young, athletic fratty guys who joke with each other a lot. there's one middle-aged lady. i grew up a loner and never really hung out with guys. i've never been good at sports, i'm not very witty, and i don't know how to fit into the team. i feel like i just do my work and stand off to the side. if there's like a manual on how to be a guy, i'd love to have it | how to i fit in better at work? | 900rym | i'm a firm believer that if you talk to people and get to know them, you can find that you have at least one thing in common with anyone. figure out what you have in common with your colleagues and talk about that. also, if you've never really been into sports, give it a shot. you might actually enjoy watching a particular sport or following a team. if you like video games, try out a few sports games. it's a great way to get to learn the rules of a sport and some of the basics while also doing something you enjoy. for instance, growing up hockey was my favorite sport. i played it, watched it, obsessed over it. today, football is probably my favorite sport. a lot of that has to do with the fact that my freshman year college roommate who essentially became one of my best lifelong friends and i used to play madden all the time our freshman year. it taught me a lot about the intricacies of the sport and watching it became a hell of a lot more exciting. | socialskills | 900rym |
my partner has a history of kink/being a dominatrix. we've been dating for almost two years and just today they told me that they feel suffocated because they need to be beaten. i personally don't feel comfortable hitting someone i love, so they want to go seek out another dom to do it (which i also don't feel comfortable with). i'm willing to learn what to do, but they said it's not the same. what can i do? | my partner [25/t] really wants me [25/f] to beat them and i can't help but feel guilty about it | 5tacsb | if you want to learn to be a dom, then learn. but don't do anything you're not comfortable with now | relationship_advice | 5tacsb |
it only makes me more depressed. i'm really unstable and i really shouldn't read sensationalist negative news. 99% it's war, poverty, politicians fucking us over and sometimes just straight bullshit (buy this stock pplz yolo!!!). but still every morning i wake up to get my negativity fix :( sad face is negative too. i wish i could quit my addiction to this shit and live an ignorant life, unaware of the problems of the world. | why the fuck do i crave negativity??? | 3jh9w1 | make good news more reinforcing to you thank bad news. you like bad news because it is familiar territory. good news is foreign like eating with chopsticks for the first time you think, fuck it i'm going back to the fork. but once you learn to eat with chopsticks it can even be fun. find some good news, read it or watch it, then go do something to reinforce the behavior. such as forcing a smile on your face. if you force a smile on your face and keep it for a few seconds your brain actually recognizes the facial expression and released chemicals that or exerted with happiness. | depression | 3jh9w1 |
i talked to a psychiatrist today for the first time and we talked mostly about adhd stuff i definitely have a lot of the symptoms going on right now that i can identify in myself but when they asked about childhood—honestly i can't remember much of my childhood but i don't think i had the same symptoms back then. i was pretty chill and good in school, never had any issues with paying attention to my teachers. so the psych asked me to talk to my parents about what i was like as a child. the issues are 1) i really don't want to involve my parents at all and don't want them to know i'm talking to a psych. 2) i'm fairly certain i didn't have any adhd symptoms at all when i was a kid does anyone else have experience not having symptoms as a kid? is it possible to develop adhd in late teens? the psych said "we have to establish that there's a history of these symptoms." why??? i'm having these problems now why can't i get help for it now?!? does anyone have more information about this | didn't have adhd symptoms when i was a kid but definitely have them now | icz5d2 | that’s because adhd develops in childhood. it is considered a neurodevelopmental disorder. it isn’t thought to develop in adulthood. if symptoms weren’t present in childhood, it isn’t likely to be adhd. that being said, many other mental health concerns have overlapping symptoms with adhd including anxiety and depression. | mentalhealth | icz5d2 |
my friend is a 25-year-old man. he has written a few science fiction novels. i have read some of his writing and it is very boring. the characters are simplistic, the action reads like a video game, and it is generally unappealing to most people, even among sci-fi fans. i am not a psychiatrist, but i believe he has undiagnosed high-functioning autism (i won't go into detail). he believes that his writing is good and that he will find an audience that will find his writing amazing. he also believes his writing is a gift from god. he spends money on printing and marketing his books. his only review on amazon was negative. i am currently being supportive of his writing career. i tell him that his writing is not the type i'm interested in, but as long as he knows who his audience is, he should ignore everybody else's opinions and focus on improving his writing to cater to his target audience. i want to help him however i can, but i am only his friend, so i know my options are limited. what can i do? | my friend writes terrible sci-fi novels and wastes tons of money on promoting them. how can i help him? | 1zds7m | i mean, if he enjoys writing and he's not going into debt to promote it, then why dissuade him? he's having fun and doing something he enjoys. however, if you think he might have high-functioning autism, you could consider asking him to think about seeing a psychologist for a diagnosis. maybe find an online asperger's quiz and encourage him to take it to see if it fits his life. of course, you need to be careful to present this in a way that isn't offensive. | socialskills | 1zds7m |
hi all, wanted to preface this by saying i've never really been much for conversation, it's gotten to the point where my mom says that it's like pulling teeth trying to get me to talk about my day. similar things happen in social settings, i won't be able to contribute to conversations, and when i do it always comes out douchie. how can i improve on my speaking skills? | teenager here, how can i improve my conversation skills? | 6h58d7 | i wrote a detailed [free guide to conversation](WEBLINK) that you might find helpful. good luck! | socialskills | 6h58d7 |
this may seem like a stupid question to ask, i know. i’m 14 and i’ve been through abuse when i was in middle school. (3 years ago) i’ve never told anyone i personally know before, and don’t want to tell my mom. if i were to tell a therapist about my history of abuse, by law, would they have to break confidentiality to my mom or anyone else? i’m extremely paranoid about this and just want to know what’ll happen beforehand so i can decide if i really do want to talk to a therapist about it. | are therapists required to break confidentiality over abuse that happened 3 years ago? (i’m a minor) | a6waor | well, it depends a little bit on the definition of abuse in the state in which you live. some states define child abuse only as being possible from someone expected to protect them. however, in general, the answer would be yes, if you are a minor and been abused the therapist would be required to report this. it does not, however, have to be reported to your parent. but i would suggest generally that is probably a good idea. | askatherapist | a6waor |
so i've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder, but i think i have something else too. i don't know if posting on here will actually help but having somewhere to record it would be nice, because due to these problems, i have a hard time relaying it back to my therapist. i act like someone i'm not, it's me but i'm lying about how i'm feeling or lying about what i think and acting like someone else but i don't even know i'm doing it. i say things just to make people happy and will genuinely believe what i'm saying, but i'll think back on it later and think "why the hell did i say that?" i remember when i do it, clear as day, and i know it's me, but i'm always contradicting myself and changing myself and doing things just to get certain reactions and i don't even _know_ i'm doing it. it took someone telling me to finally figure it out. and when my therapist asks me what's wrong, i don't know what to say, because i genuinely believe nothing. but so many things are wrong, so many things happen, all the time, yet for some reason for that specific hour i'll believe that i'm fine and forget everything i was meaning to tell her. feels like everything i do is to get a 'correct' response. what is this? is it normal? is it just social anxiety? i do it even when i'm not anxious, it's something i don't even notice i'm doing. i'll be completely fine, not tense, not anxious, but i'll act completely like someone else and have all of that "person's" intentions and interests. i don't even know which version is actually my default to be honest. | what is wrong with me | 72xa3z | try jorunialjng when you're upset and bring it in to show your therapist next time. it's very common to lose track or not have things that have occurred fresh in your mind for therapy. there are also a lot of good mental health apps that could help slow you down and reduce some of what sounds like impulsivity in social interactions (which is very common with anxiety). | mentalhealth | 72xa3z |
hello, i'd like to preface that 1. i have zero trust issues with my bf 2. i am 100% confident he loves me and i love him 3. i don't want to hear just break up because i don't think at this point either one of us want that. so my bf and i met in october last year. he had just gotten out of a 5 yr relationship. it was dead in the water for several years but neither cared enough to end it. prior to that he had a 5 year relationship that ended because they were sick of the long distance. so i knew he needed to "sew his oats" so to speak so i never put any specific kind of pressure on him. figured he was prob sleeping around etc. i was totally fine with it. fast forward 6 months. many feelings developed, he told me several times he loved me. i never said it back. until i really started to really genuinely have those feelings. that's also the point in which i said, i did love him and didn't want him seeing other people anymore because i was no longer comfortable with it. we've definitely gone back and forth because he feels like he hasn't been able to "do enough". he has all these sexual fantasies he wants to fulfill. initially he thought i would never be comfortable with them. last night we had a genuine heart to heart about it all. nothing was held back. all the things he did from the point in which i met him, etc. all the things i probably didn't want to hear but i did. the end result is me being open to trying new things sexually with him. i've always wanted to be more comfortable sexually and he loves that i am on board with it. in the same regard, i am worried i might not be able to keep providing it. he thinks it's possible if i experiment with him enough, he will eventually be happy with just me. since some of these experiences he wants to include other men and women. as in, a 3-some. i've thought about it and i am ok with trying it but i am also worried it might not fulfill him and eventually might lead to him cheating. again, he doesn't think this is the case. i am considering giving him a hall pass in lieu of this. it won't bother me if there is no emotion tied behind it and it's just him doing things with people, safely. am i completely insane? am i going to regret this later? i haven't told him i am considering it and so far it's just been me agreeing to try these new things with him. i love him and know he loves me and won't ever cheat on me but i don't want him to resent me later on for holding him back. please share your thoughts. if anyone has given this to a spouse at some point etc. i really don't have anyone i can talk to about it so here i am turning to the internets. | me (28f) and my bf(29m) - thinking of giving him a hall pass? please advise. | 6ybnzz | you have to reckon with him not being ready for what you want in a rel. you're trying to put out a fire with gasoline. | relationship_advice | 6ybnzz |
i crave being drunk because i enjoy music more. i can feel my emotions and cry if i need to. i'll want to do things i had no interest in before. i just don't understand how i am supposed to achieve the feelings of happiness that i get when i'm drinking. i guess i could be depressed but i just don't know how i'm supposed to enjoy day to day life the same way i do when i have a drink at night. | what am i supposed to do when i feel happier and enjoy things more when i'm drunk? | cqdnei | what are some of the reasons you want to stop? if alcohol only did the things you just mentioned, i would assume you wouldn’t want to stop. | stopdrinking | cqdnei |
i'm a 16m. i'm about 5' 8" 145 pounds. i was diagnosed with anxiety. i use to take medications but slowly got off them. i feel great. sometimes, rarely, however i have very anxious moments. also rarely, i have panic attacks. i do not believe medication is a good option for me because these moments only happen occasionally. i did some research and wanted to know if i should consider asking my doctor about medical marijuana (medial marijuana is legal in my state). would it be a waste of time to ask? i am embarrassed because i do not know if my doctor will think i just want to get high. | question about medical marijuana | glg8lk | there is strong evidence that marijuana worsens anxiety over time. yes, despite all the enthusiasts who will tell you that weed really helps with anxiety. you can find a doctor who will authorize medical marijuana for just about anything; my strong advice is not to go down that route if anxiety is or has been a problem for you at all. weaker evidence suggests that cbd may be helpful, but even commercial, allegedly thc-free cbd preparations frequently turn out to have thc contamination. | askdocs | glg8lk |
a couple weeks ago my roommate brought his new girlfriend and her friend over with the intention of hooking us up. the night went really well and they ended up coming over again the next week, we went for a late swim at out pool at 3am and had a blast. we then followed each other on instagram where we messaged back and forth for a couple days. my question is should i start up the conversation again and ask her out quickly or message her a little more first? im a really good conversationalist in person but suck at texting which means i typically ask girls out within a few weeks of meeting them and dont have the best success rate. i have no problem being denied but wanna make sure i've put myself in the best position. | 21m need help with a girl | 6nmbrz | call her and ask her out for coffee | relationship_advice | 6nmbrz |
so, my therapy history is as follows: -age 16, i get called in the school counselor's office(i had various issues at the time, but it wasn't me who decided to go to therapy). she gave me the impression that she expected i answered "i'm good" to all questions. asked me about my home life? it's amazing(it very much wasn't). my personal life? it's amazing(it wasn't). i just had the vibe, in the way she worded those questions, that if i answered ,,it's bad" i would somehow fail a test or get labeled as a problem teen. i still managed to look very cooperative, so much that at the end she congratulated me on being "so open". now for the voluntary therapies: -age 19, i see this therapist and i go to around 3 meetings. she seems competent, but somehow "cold", so i didn't really feel comfortable getting very personal with her. -age 21, this guy just seems very unprofessional. he friends me on facebook at the end of the meeting, comments on our common friends(also his clients), asking me how i know them, and giving unasked advice like "maybe you don't want this person back in your life, he is really problematic". he also asked me how many sex partners i've had, which made me very uncomfortable. it literally went like ,,age? major? living conditions? any drug use? how many sex partners have you had till now?". -age 22, i go to this lady to help me get over a breakup. she's nice and warm, but seems a little "basic" for me-she keeps talking about love languages and the way men are different from women, and i feel like my problems are deeper than that, even though she's not entirely unhelpful. -also age 22, i go to this therapist who's, while well intentioned, very inexperiended. every time i relate something negative in my life, her only answer is "how does that make you feel?", to the point that it gets annoying. she eventually recognizes that i'm too much for her and refers me out. now i've had 2 meetings with this new lady and so far it's amazing. my only complain is that i feel like i have "too many" issues to go over in a 50 minute meeting, but i guess that's what long term therapy is for. my question is: were the therapists before just bad matches for me or did i do something to sabotage them? i want to know to avoid repeating any mistakes. | i've been to 5 different therapsits before the one i'm on an i need to understand why the previous attempts failed | ej1ftu | it sounds like a little bit of both, with the exception of the guy who friended you on facebook. that guy just sounds like a horrible an unethical therapist. what i tell my supervisees about clients and i tell to clients is that in order for therapy to be effective, the client needs to want to be in therapy, have some need or goal to work on in therapy, and be ready to do the work in therapy. kids/teens who are forced to be in therapy are rarely if ever going to get anything out of it. if your therapist can't get you interested and invested (which is incredibly hard to do) it's not going to work. i'm wondering how many sessions you went to the ones you saw at age 22 for. if it were 3 or less, i'd say you just didn't really give it much of a chance for whatever reason (maybe wanted and needed therapy, but not quite ready). if after 3-5 sessions it just seems like you can't click with your therapist but otherwise they don't seem horrible or unethical, it may just be a bad fit. sometimes you have to shop around for therapists until you find one that works for you. there's nothing wrong with that. so again, with the exception of the facebook guy (very bad therapist, i'd recommend filing a complaint with the licensing board), i'd say the others were probably a combo of not being great fits and you not giving it much of a chance (unless i'm wrong in my assumptions and you actually did see them for a few months). | askatherapist | ej1ftu |
i got diagnosed with adhd by a doctor. i have my doubts about having adhd at all, and am scared that i would get addicted to adderall. she prescribed the 10mg dose. if i take the prescribed amount the doc gave, will i get dependent/ addicted on adderall? if this is not the right place to ask this, please delete. * age: 19 * sex: m * height: 5'7 * weight: 115 * race: white * duration of complaint: got diagnosed around a week ago from today. * location (geographic and on body): mental * any existing relevant medical issues (if any): none * current medications (if any): adderall | will taking the prescribed dose of adderall make me addicted / dependant? | agb3ij | no one here can assess whether you do or don't have adhd. appropriate use of adderall at prescribed doses does not produce addiction, and probably doesn't produce dependence—people taking stimulants often have "drug holidays" where they don't take any on weekends or other times when they do not need to be able to sustain concentration. treatment of adhd has been shown to reduce rates of substance abuse overall. | askdocs | agb3ij |
so, maybe about 2 years ago, i was prescribed zopiclone to help with my sleep and anxiety issues. i was put on the lowest dose and i've gradually developed a tolerance to the lower doses and have been prescribed a particularly high dosage of three 7.5mg tablets daily, per night. since the raise of the 22.5mg per night dosage, i haven't shown any signs of another tolerance boost in maybe a year now. it works perfectly in taking away my anxiety, helping me relax before bed, getting me to sleep, and keeping me asleep. i've tried literally every other option out there, both prescription and over the counter, and zopiclone is the only medication that has been effective. it is the only medication that hasn't made me overly drowsy in the mornings, sick in various ways, or incited an allergic reaction (which i've had to many prescription and over the counter meds, not just for sleeping/anxiety). i've had many doctors in various fields (psych, general practitioner, nurse practitioner, general counsellors, etc) who have known about the med, many very extensively so, and have had no issues with me using it as prescribed this long and at this dose as long as it is effective (which it is). but i've recently returned to my hometown and had to see new doctors of various fields who won't even bother looking at my records or hearing me out before they demand i never take the medication again. i get that in most cases it shouldn't be used in such high doses, so often, for so long. but i'm definitely not most cases. not sure what to do since zopiclone is the only effective medication for me that doesn't cause severe side effects. any input? thanks in advance. my general info is below: age: 20 years old. sex: female. height: 5' 8" weight: 135 lbs race: caucasian duration of complaint: 1+ year(s). location (geographic and on body): scalp/head/skin, mainly around/behind/underneath ears. any existing relevant medical issues (if any): severe anemia, (recovering well from a) severe eating disorder (atypical anorexia and purging disorder), severe anxiety/panic disorder, ocd (in the form of intrusive thoughts), insomnia, borderline personality disorder, autism spectrum disorder (though not sure if this is a medical issue, just always add it just in case). current medications (if any): propanolol (2x20mg taken when needed) topamax (100mg taken daily around noon) adderal (30mg taken daily in the morning) zopiclone (3x7.5mg taken daily at night) clonazepam (4x0.5mg taken daily as needed) | so many conflicting opinions on a sleep medication that has been working wonderfully for me for a couple years now...zopiclone | 6uw5xc | 22.5mg at night? that's incredible and (imo) close to negligent. 7.5mg is definitely the maximum dose, and there's no evidence that it works at higher doses. theres also no evidence of benefit by using zopiclone long-term either. zopiclone is similar to benzodiazepines like diazepam (valium) - you can build a tolerance for them and there is a risk of dependence. theres something wrong with the system if a number of people like you are being prescribed this in this fashion. sleep disturbance is notoriously difficult to treat but its about dealing with underlying causes (which include other prescribed medication). i appreciate that it has been effective for you but it's not in your best interests to treat in this fashion, despite your complex mental health needs. id seriously consider reducing the zopiclone and contemplating other ways of managing your sleep - there must be strategies or treatments that youve not tried so far. | askdocs | 6uw5xc |
my boyfriend (or ex) of 5 months stopped talking to me after we had an argument about how we treated each other. i felt that he has been disrespectful towards me and taken me for granted. however, he did not think so. he hasn't replied to my messages since and it's been almost a week. he usually hanged up on my calls but he picked it up once and he just said that he was going to chat with his mom. he basically refuses to talk to me. what should i do? assume the relationship is over? | boyfriend stops talking to me after a fight. should i assume that we are over and move on? | 69r9lh | couple counseling if there's something to salvage | relationship_advice | 69r9lh |
within the last couple hours, i witnessed a really terrifying car accident. my child was with me and i called 911 for it. i’m...really shaken up. i have therapy next tuesday (i have ocd, gad, and anorexia). i know i’m right in the “come down”, but i feel really worked up. i have no idea if everyone is okay, i did watch everyone get pulled from the vehicle and everyone was awake. should i try to see my t sooner just to talk this through or is there something i can do to help myself here? i’ve literally never seen anything like it or felt that way before. it’s not the first accident i’ve witnessed but i’ve never called 911. i have been in my own rollover accident and wasn’t as shaken up as i am now. | i just witnessed a bad accident. | c6mn3h | totally give your therapist a call! she might not be able to see you sooner, but at minimum she’ll at least be aware, and it might make you feel better to take some kind of tangible action toward self-care/coping. i also want to add that, as far as what you’re describing, it sounds like a completely normal, natural response to witnessing a traumatic event (witnessing trauma is traumatic itself!). even someone with no history of mental health symptoms is going to experience some level of distress and will need some time and support to cope. it’s human nature. i’m not saying this to downplay what you’re feeling at all, but to normalize it. i hope that comes across clearly. for now, since you’re already in therapy, you might want to lean on coping skills you’ve already learned as far as managing distress and anxiety. also, natural supports are so important. friends, family, clergy, groups - whoever/whatever supportive entities you have in your life could definitely be tapped and enlisted to provide support in whatever ways feel most helpful at the moment - it might be help with the kids or a listening ear or a fun/relaxing, healthy distraction. please be gentle with yourself as you move through coping with this. good luck. | askatherapist | c6mn3h |
hi all! i was told to take progesterone for ten days (starting fifteen days after i spotted). so i did that. and nothing has happened. i'm at the end of day 3 after stopping the dose. when should i expect to get a period? i'm 17 and haven't had an actual period since, oh, february. i've had maybe six periods since i started in march 2013. this is all so frustrating... thanks for any and all responses. | progesterone timeline? | 3vwjsj | just curious, did you end up getting a period? i am in the same boat and trying progesterone for the first time! | pcos | 3vwjsj |
has anyone had any experience with this? i'm at the crossroads on whether i go forward, and if the investigation comes to rape; then my rapist will be expelled. i'm absolutely terrified of retaliation, and so unsure of what to do. | reporting rape on a college campus? | 2eagvi | i am also a former college administrator, and while what the other poster says is true, it's also not the whole story. the college's priority is protecting itself from lawsuits-- that means a lot of things that won't seem fair might happen. for example, if you are in the same dorm as the person who perpetrated against you, you would be the one who is asked to move if you don't want to be in the same vicinity, because nothing is yet proven against the perpetrator. similarly for classes, etc. a no contact order can be put in place, but that often won't help with the more insidious friend-of-a-friend harassment. be prepared for a lot of people to question your account of things, and if your school's judicial board is not well trained (many are not-- in fact, most) they will ask questions that are invasive and down right victim blaming. the process will likely be lengthy, and even if your perpetrator is found guilty, that doesn't necessarily mean expulsion-- often it can mean a suspension until the victim graduates, a suspension for a year, etc. i don't say this to discourage you from reporting, but rather to give you a realistic perspective. the school's priority is itself, not you, i am very sorry to say. this issue is why i'm a former college administrator-- i found the way they handled assault and harassment cases horrible, and i couldn't in good conscience continue. you may also want to check and see if your school is one of the many that is being investigated under title 9 (which covers sexual assault):WEBLINK feel free to pm me if you think it would be helpful. | rapecounseling | 2eagvi |
i found this out accidentally while using his phone, sending a message on whatsapp to his mother of all people. while looking for the message thread for his mom, i noticed a girl's name and a preview of the last message sent - which was only sent recently. it basically said "you're repeating yourself, you asked me this before. and no, i don't have a girlfriend." curiosity got the best of me, since my first reaction was wtf?! and i opened the chat. to say i didn't like what i found is an understatement. she's an old ex, like at least 10-15 years ago, but she still reaches out to him once in a while. and while she's supposedly happily married with kids - and living practically on the other side of the world - she clearly still holds a torch for him. she's admitted she still thinks about him and wonders how it would have been if they were married with kids. an old message has her admitting she was rather jealous of his most recent ex, where she wishes she'd be the one kissing him instead of her. and how she wishes they could have worked it out at the time. he never responded to that though. he clearly is the one that got away in her book. his response was to her most recent message about the possibility of spending an evening together if she's back in the country visiting family. she then proceeded to say "please, don't tell me you have a gf now, otherwise i'd be too ashamed to talk to you ever again. not because you have a gf, but by my sheer embarrassment." the way she worded it and framed the question was just...she's more or less asking him if he'd sleep with her? she asked him this somewhere last week, and he let her stew for a few days before replying. i couldn't ask him about this blatant lie on his part as he was sleeping on the couch and basically moved to bed soon afterwards. it wasn't exactly the best moment to do that. but yes, it has left me with doubts and questions, as he hasn't informed me an ex is contacting him. let alone tell me she asked him to spend an evening together. as the visit is not yet planned and may not even happen in the foreseeable future, why does he feel the need to lie to her about out relationship? i seriously don't get it. ------------------------- tl:dr bf of 2 years lied about being in a relationship to an old ex upon her question of whether he'd like to spend an evening together if she's back in the country visiting. what do i do? | why do guys lie to their exes? me (37f) with bf (34m) dating for nearly 2 years & living together, he lied to an old ex about being single | 6it9hn | you talk to your boyfriend about it. because you snooped, there's a high chance of the conversation getting derailed from your preferred subject to the snooping. do not defend or rationalize the snooping. | relationship_advice | 6it9hn |
i used to frequent /r/depression for a while, and after a few posts i made and a little bit of encouragement from loved ones, i finally decided to go to counseling and what not. i ended up having a great counselor who helped me with a lot of my issues. most of them are still lingering, but i can really feel progress from where i was more than a year ago. my issues mainly stem from a lot of self-hatred and ultimatums for everything. i thought nothing of it until it really started to affect me and there were points where i ended up really wanting to kill myself. when i got to that point i decided to start taking medication and after about 3 months it seems to be working well. (honestly i cant' tell but i feel better with time) really, i love how i feel now and i only want to be able thank my counselor. at a time where i felt i had no one to talk to, she helped me rediscover how i can reach out to people. at times i'm sure i was difficult to work with, she often said that my progress was often being halted by my own indecisiveness and how scared i am of consequences. she would relate those weeks to a car stuck in the snow and just digging a deeper hole. it was a very stuck position for me, but she eventually convinced me to start taking the right steps towards living a happier life. now i think i'm doing a lot better, blossoming even. within the last few appointments ( they happen every week) we did a few things towards the end/beginning of our sessions that involved our interests. first it was a nice loose leaf tea i brought for us to have a drink together during our appointment. next i pointed out her totoro on her desk and we ended up talking about anime and manga. we laugh and we joke and what not, she even recommended a few manga for me. however, i guess i just wondered if getting comfortable with all of that was a mistake. counselors really can't be your friends ever, i know that. it's just not something that is appropriate for their work. i understand that, but i guess i just wanted to know for sure. as we were wrapping up our last appointment, i just sort of casually asked "so, once this is all over and done with.. will we be friends?" she gave me a pretty long answer and some specific scenarios about why that would not be a good idea. but she also said that just because we wouldn't be in sessions at all, doesn't mean we wouldn't talk. she said we'd probably check up on each other after a while maybe. i told her i was fine with that. she ended up saying something like she was worried that i would feel rejection. i told her i was alright, and tried my best to leave in the most comfortable way possible and smiling, but it was actually very very hard. by the time i turned around the corner from her hall and i heard her door close, i really felt low. by the time i got to the elevator, i couldn't help but start crying. i haven't cried over something like that in a little while. i used to cry every day over dumb things that didn't even matter. it used to confine me to bed all of the time or reduce me to a hallow shell outside my home. a lot of that progress was because of her, and i guess i'm just down because we can't be friends. today is the first day in a little while that the feeling of sadness and loneliness has penetrated so deep into my chest. i feel like i'm just a little lost and helpless again. what do i do? has anyone else dealt with this? | i made the mistake of asking my counselor if we can be friends.. | 2yx3m6 | its not a mistake. its just not something we are able to do for ethical reasons having to do with dual relationships and the possibility of exploitation. can't be a friend and a therapist at the same time and since the precedent is for therapist and the possibility is there for future work, friendship is off the table. | depression | 2yx3m6 |
about a year ago i quit a stable pr job to pursue my love of makeup artistry. it took a lot of convincing from friends and family for me to consider it, but i guess we were in a place where i could afford to attempt the jump at the time. unfortunately, the work isn't really stable in any sense. i work freelance so some weeks are good and some don't turn much of a profit at all. my husband is super supportive. in fact, he's the one that talked me into pursuing makeup. he's really sweet but now he's basically working for the both of us while i cant seem to get my shit together. i've worked us into a hole. we have no money. i can't even afford to get vegetables for dinner tonight. this is what's ruining at me at the moment. anyway, i was raised in a family that pressured us to work constantly regardless of whether or not we were happy about it. a job is a job. it's there to make money and you don't need to love it. i always felt this way too. i don't know why i was so irresponsible. i feel like scum. i selfishly followed my own dreams and now my husband and i are broke as fuck. i should've trusted my gut. i can't even get a waitressing job. no one wants me. i have lots of pr experience but i'm not getting responses from anyone, even with consistent follow up. i've been told several times that i don't have enough experience to work retail, which i didn't even know was a thing... i fucked up and i don't know what to do. i feel so selfish. i don't know why i indulged myself in the first place and i'm not sure how to fix it. | irresponsibly tried to follow my passion. | 3e7wf4 | maybe this is so obvious as to be rude, but have you tried applying at ulta or sephora? mac counters? you could mix love & work. | offmychest | 3e7wf4 |
hi, this is my first post ever... just created an account when i discovered this community. i don't even write in english very well but i figured i could try to ask for help. maybe some of you can relate or share some tips. this is part of my never ending cicle of anxiety+anger: i suddenly get angry/irritaded for weeks for no reason and end up treating my boyfriend terribly...and if he lets me be like this or doesn't confront me, i lose all interest in him. drag the relationship untill i just hate the guy or am horribly depressed and move on. this already happened 3x. i'm always the one that breaks up. rn i'm seen red, and my boyfriend is making me so angry and irritated, even when he is just texting me to say hi. it's like i hate him all of a sudden. and i don't know what to think or do. he is obviously noticing that i'm short with him, i dont want to have sex and hardly even kiss him. i just feel so annoyed and repulsed by him for no reason. we are dating for almost 1 year and i... just don't want to even talk to him and i dont know why. my anger comes and goes... like every few months, more or less, i'm pure hate and anger. i snap, i say cruel things and treat people close to me like shit. this normally just happens towards my family and my boyfriend or close friends (when i can keep them). when i get angry with other people i just keep the hate inside or snap even more at someone else. i have always being very angry. to the point where i grind my teeth at night and have heart palpitations/panic attacks since childhood. backstory: my dad is bipolar and my mom was always very passive. she used to ask me and my brother for help when my dad had his anger attacks. we were actually little kids who didn't even understand what was going on. she would cry and we would run from them and hide to wait for my dad to stop screaming and throwing things. the next day, we had to pretend nothing happened. it was like a nightmare. the closest to an apology my dad ever made was to leave a written letter and be gone for a few days. when he came back: no talking about it. at this point my dad was never diagnosed, never went to therapy. he had his crazy attacks at least once a month... also was always saying small things to hurt our feelings and would be overly angry at anything he considered wrong that we did and would beat us too. when i became a teenager i started to confront my dad and get angry at him back. say horrible things to make him feel guilty. i guess as a way to protect my mom and younger brother. this of course back fired. guess who became the villain of the family? the one forced in therapy and seen as the cause of all the arguments? yep, me. of course i needed therapy, but at this time they were not doing this from a place of care and love. i was annoying. i didn't pretend anymore. the first and only time my mother told me she loved me was when she wanted me to dress "more girly" followed by "let's make you look pretty, ok?". so yeah. i'm angry. i'm insecure. i resent my mom for taking my dads side instead of mine. i hate my dad and feel like because of him i became introverted and almost autistic. i'm doing much better just because i have tried so fucking hard to reset my brain by copying how other people act. still today i feel awkward but it's nice to at least be able to talk to people. sorry, this was very long... but it was to say that i know where it all comes from. i became my dad. and the fact that my bf let's me treat him baddly makes me even more angry because it reminds me of the passiveness of my mom. i just have no idea how to stop this. therapy and medication helps but i can't take it anymore... i feel like it will never go away... i feel like i can't even trust my feelings... and i will be alone forever. (i'm a 29yo f) | so much hate and anger that i'm ruining my life. help, please... | ka90a0 | what kind of therapy have you had? what was your diagnosis? | anger | ka90a0 |
what would be some examples of confidence they would find attractive? | when girls say they find confidence attractive, what do they actually mean by confidence? | b5nsp7 | confidence is essentially having the bravery to put yourself out there, be vulnerable, and courageous. what i mean by this is someone who doesn't let the fear of failure keep them from trying. this has to do with relationships both platonic and romantic, career, competition. the people who try and fail, brush themselves off without ruminating over failures and get back in the ring are not the losers. the losers are the ones who never put themselves out their and let their fears control them. everyone no matter how confident they appear has anxiety and a fear of failure. the confident folks are the ones who do what they want to do despite the anxiety. the less confident folks let their anxiety dictate their actions. this teddy roosevelt quote sums it up nicely: "it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” | socialskills | b5nsp7 |