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i feel like i'm missing out on a very social activity. i believe the atmosphere with so many people puts me on edge, which makes me anxious, which makes loud noises (music) aggravating, and rules out dancing altogether. is there a way to become accustomed to this scene? is there a way to become accustomed to it without dancing too? | i hate loud music, dancing, and large crowds, which means clubbing is out of the picture. is there a way to change how i feel about it? | rrqj2 | you could try dancing that's not at a club. many cities have social dance groups that meet to do swing or salsa or blues or other dances--the music is generally not as loud, the people aren't as crazy, and it's overall just a way more civilized experience. google for "swing dancing + your town" or "partner dancing + your town" and see what comes up :) | socialskills | rrqj2 |
i am an american born chinese. i don't speak any chinese except maybe a few simple words. a few days ago, during my first lesson, my math tutor (not chinese, but algerian) asked me if i identified as american more or chinese. i said american. throughout the lesson, he started asking more questions, about if i knew the language, how often i went back to china (not often at all). he seemed very surprised, and began saying things like "i don't want my child to turn out like you" and "wow, you don't know the language at all? that's very sad." and "you've said that you call yourself american, it's a little too late for you to see your chinese side." it really hurt to hear it because i have been trying to learn more about my chinese side (i'm taking a language class in it right now), but it's hard when i have such little exposure to the culture. i can't tell anyone, especially not my parents because i know they will be very offended and that's something i really want to avoid because they've spent a lot of money on these classes. now my parents think that i absolutely hate math (i don't, i just suck), but really, i'm just dreading seeing him again. | my tutor makes me regret saying i call myself american. | 97a3no | your tutor clearly has his own anxieties about maintaining his cultural identity and the possibility that his children will assimilate. he is projecting his own issues onto you. he has no business bringing his personal issues into your math tutoring. when you say your parents will be offended, do you mean they will be offended by the tutor's comments, or offended that you identify as american? if the former, i think your parents would want to know about this before they spend any more money on additional lessons from this guy. if the latter, maybe you could focus on his other comments and how you felt hurt because you really do want to connect more to chinese culture. | offmychest | 97a3no |
i don’t know what else to do. my grandmother, 82 yo female (5’6”, average weight, caucasian), has been in the hospital for the past 4 days. - in the icu isolation unit despite testing negative for covid she was admitted after she started having conversations with people who weren’t there- and then passed out. she has had very low sodium and chronic diarrhea for months now- doctors have done numerous tests but don’t know why her sodium is so low. we don’t know what medications the hospital has her on because they won’t let us in there now. **what i need help/advice on:** she was admitted and because she is old they put her in the covid isolation unit in the icu. she tested negative to the in hospital covid test, she has no fever. she is on a vent, and both times they have tried to remove it she has become very agitated and becomes apneic, so the doctor puts her back on the vent (even though we told nurses she has sleep apnea). she has to stay in isolation until the doctor gets a secondary covid test they send out which will take 4 more days. that means she will be on the vent that much longer. she needs my mom (preciously and icu nurse) to be with her so she can help her through this, but because she is in covid isolation they won’t let anyone see her- even though she doesn’t have covid. please help. how do we pressure the hospital into moving her out of isolation? we’ve called the charge nurses, but they say they have to just ask the doctors. we need to be with her. thank you in advance. update: she was successfully extubated. she is awake, but still stuck in isolation. | grandmother stuck in the covid isolation icu despite negative covid, need to move her to regular icu, but hospital won’t listen to us | hc3qq4 | two negative tests is a fairly common policy in many hospitals, as we don’t have the best data on how accurate the tests are. best to wait, even though the situation is understandably stress inducing. best of luck to your family. | askdocs | hc3qq4 |
caucasian female, 5'6", 150lbs, 22 years old never smoked take allergy medication pre-existing conditions- add, mdd, anxiety, insomnia, ptsd i've been looking into alternatives for my depression medication after realizing that the medication i've tried (xanax, zoloft, and lexapro) all made me emotionally numb and wouldn't really allow me to enjoy my life. i've been researching alternatives and have been unable to discuss this with my psychiatrist/therapist (i've been travelling around the country as part of a summer band program for the past three months). for the past two months while i've been travelling and off my medication, my symptoms have all increased and i've been experiencing irritability, loss of hope, feelings of self-loathing, worthlessness, hopelessness, loneliness, and loss of self-esteem in almost its entirety, along with suicidal thoughts and ideations. i've been attempting to research alternatives to medication in an effort to improve my depression and overall quality of life --while being able to experience a full spectrum of emotions-- and would appreciate any insight into alternatives or therapeutic methods so when i get back home i can discuss them with my psychiatrist and see about trying out something new. some important notes- •i've taken cbt as well as emdr therapy for ptsd, for reference into what i've already tried out in terms of therapy types. •i'm very active and have spent a large amount of time out in the sun exercising this summer due to the program i'm in (intense outside exercise for about 4-6 hours a day every day), and the sun and physical activity haven't seemed to help my symptoms. | alternatives to depression medication? | 92y609 | the big alternatives to medication are psychotherapy, which you've done, and modifications to behavior like exercising, which you're also doing and which will often be brought up in therapy. if you've tried two ssris and a benzo and they have reduced depression but left you feeling numb, maybe it's worth talking to your psychiatrist about a different class of medications. non-ssris might be more helpful. bupropion (wellbutrin) in particular has a fairly different side effect profile. i can't say that it causes no emotional blunting, but it seems to be less common. | askdocs | 92y609 |
i’m worried about something. recently, it started last night, which was june 27, 2019, i was worried that i had developed early onset alzheimers. i’m a somewhat forgetful person, but when i’m not forgetful i have a really good memory. it almost always takes me a moment or two to come up with a way to solve a problem. and recently i’ve been worrying more often. but these are the only three symptoms i’m experiencing when there are at least 10, and all but the last are mild. do you have any advice to help me stop worrying about it? | alzheimers | c6oeo1 | hey there - it’s obviously hard to say because i don’t know you/your age/your risk factors (and don’t need to!) but there is absolutely no harm in expressing your concerns to your medical provider/primary care. they could put your worries to rest, or refer for an evaluation if they feel it’s warranted. google-self-diagnosing, or even asking on forums like this, won’t ever get you a concrete answer. your own speculation and the speculation of others will probably just up your anxiety, frankly. if you find that you worry often and aren’t able redirect that worry, or if it causing you distress or interfering with your life, it couldn’t hurt to talk to a therapist (in a face to face setting). they could help you build up some skills to help you cope with/reduce worry that is causing you distress. good luck! | askatherapist | c6oeo1 |
on day 10 of me and my girlfriend not smoking anymore. we're doing fine minus the social aspect. without weed, we have no friends. all of our friends smoke. we don't know how to make new friends, and we don't even know what to do with new friends if it's not smoking. i feel lost here. what do you do with people besides smoking and how do you make new friends? this is bumming both of us out and making quitting really hard. | no friends without weed | 6nqrjg | maybe try reaching out to friends you had before you started smoking, or family who might be supportive? looking on craigslist or meetup or local community billboards to see if there are any group activities you might try? signing up for a class at your local library or community college, or volunteering? | leaves | 6nqrjg |
so i've been in a relationship with a woman diagnosed with bpd for the last 8 years. we have ups and downs although it seems as if we're starating to turn a major corner in our relationship. we basically go through phases where our interactions are more stable and phases where it seems as if the chaos is impenetrable, that i'm evil, and that everything i want will be opposed just because i want it. i love this woman, and i have to say i even love the disorder. i know there is a person who wants to connect to me in there, and i'm doing everything i can to find her. also know that i'm somewhat trained in dbt. i understand mindfulness techniques. i understand intensely what it means to have big feelings and how they can spill over until they fill someone up with little room for anything else. my question to the bpd subreddit is: lately my so has felt more comfortable with the realization that "emotion escalation" is a self-generated process, but that process isn't bad or wrong. we have both begun to realize that the escalation is possibly being used as a tool. if she feels threatened because something i said loosely resembles rejection, the answer is to create an emotional storm so that i (the cause of the reaction) feels the same pain she does and that i am the cause of that pain. my theory is that this emotional escalation was a positive tool growing up, that it gets attention, and needs met, and feels powerful. once its, learned, it's so powerful, it becomes hard to go back to less emotional solutions. eventually, the power of the reaction is so strong that it becomes hard not to use all the time. this is why things get worse without treatment, but why treatment is so painful. it's like an emotional and psychological addiction to a process, that inhibits all other processes, very much like a drug. so what i'm most interested in, is how this theory feels to others with bpd. also, just to be clear, i consider addictions a normal and even essential process. it's just a word i use to represent problematic learned behaviors that are self-reinforcing. what i think this definition may provide, are alternate approaches to treatment. dbt would of course be applicable, but also having more treatments focused on the emotional needs that were abandoned that required the pattern to form in the first place. so, all honest reactions would be hugely appreciated. thanks, and good wishes to everyone here! | so of bpd, and a therapist. i have a new theory i want honest thoughts and opinions about. | 3kydnv | compassion focused therapy explicitly targets those emotional needs to some extent. it's more focused on shame, but it might be applicable. | bpd | 3kydnv |
25m. i have constant chronic pressure headaches that worsen with exertion. i get daily migraines. i am constantly unable to think clearly. my stomach hurts on and off, with very sharp pains or a constant ache. i am unable to sit up for longer than 3 hours. i am unable to drive longer than 5 minutes. i am unable to stand for 5 minutes. i have not been able to work for the past month. my girlfriend prepares my food for me. i have not gone outside my town in months. my girlfriend drives me around. i feel nauseated after every meal. i cannot carry anything heavy because it hurts my neck immensely. i cannot raise my arms above my head without getting lightheaded. laying on my back with legs up gives me enormous head pressure like it’s going to pop. i cannot sleep at night because head is squeezing. my eyes close because pain is so bad and my muscles start spasming. every day it is like this. pure torture. my doctors only advice was to gain weight and have me ssri. i started taking it month ago and nothing has changed. i am trying to gain weight and everything is worse. i ask doctor and he says pain is just in your mind and nothing is wrong. i have done tests and they are normal. i do chin ups and those make my neck hurt badly. they did mri and everything was normal. i am at loss and don’t know what to do now my girlfriend asks me if one day i will be better. she cries everyday because our life is hard. if i will be able to raise kids and take care of myself and i said yes. but i am lying. i don’t think i will ever get better, especially because my doctor is not helping me. i don’t even know what i need to do to feel better. i have tried multiple otc medications and ssri and none of them have helped me. my doctor says i’m overreacting. says i need to push through. i am exhausted. will not give medicine. says my symptoms are factitious and anxiety driven. i was not depressed or anxious until this all started. doctor has timeline wrong. ssri isn’t helping. life is miserable. might go back to cigarettes alcohol to cope again. please help me. i cannot stand see girlfriend cry everyday. i am thinking of breaking up so she can live a life she deserves so i can maybe end the suffering. what can i do | i am lying to my girlfriend that it will one day get better, my doctor doesn’t help me | f8swlh | which ssri you are taking, and what dose, make a difference. you also mention being told to gain weight but not your weight or height now, which are helpful. it sounds like you have had a workup, but have you seen a headache specialist? usually in neurology, although not always. | askdocs | f8swlh |
i am x-posting this from r/antidepressants. i hope this subreddit is appropriate for a question like this. i would just like to know medically if what i'm experiencing could be related to gabapentin. edit: 24/f, 5''0, 160 lbs, non smoker very very minimal drinking. the post (edited): the last few years i have been very badly down. my highs are okay and my lows are unbelievably bad. i have a very intense financial situation and a lot of things have gone wrong in the last few months. it made me stress several times a week/per month and i would get so anxious and start spiraling over little things. i have not gone to a doctor because i don't know how to bring up the bad feelings with my primary. he is kinda scary. plus the appointments are always at least a week after really bad episodes and i just don't feel like seeking help anymore at that point. recently i decided to take 4:45 am shifts at work so i asked my mom if she had anything to help me sleep, and she did...300mgs gabapentin. i know you're not supposed to take other people's prescriptions so i looked it up to see if there was anything that screamed for me not to take this drug. it seemed okay. i didn't know what it was or what it was for before i started taking it 2 nights ago, just that it would knock you cold within an hour of being taken. i planned to take it for 2 or 3 nights to switch my schedule to early early mornings. it knocked me out pretty good. today and yesterday i've had a surge of energy and motivation like i've never had before. i bought two journals to do some self-education over the summer and have some fun being creative. i've been craving productivity, and even my friend has noticed i'm more 'upitty'. the weirdest thing is how often i'm *laughing.* i'll laugh at my own jokes or sense of humor so much harder than i have, i'll find videos that would have previously extort a smile from me to instead invoke actual laughter out loud, by myself. i can't remember the last time i found something that funny. the most important thing though, is despite how bad everything is, i feel okay. like i feel like i'm gonna get through it. i had not attributed the feeling of goodness to the drug yet...i think it's just a possibility. i stopped using depo provera around 9 months ago and it could be because i'm off birth control that i feel better. my mom has been less stressed about work so she has not come to me as often when she is stressed (in turn, giving me less to stress about) if this drug could be doing something for me, i want to know if it's something i should consider talking to my doctor about. if it's unlikely, then i'll just ride everything out for a little bit. i will stop taking the drug once i have solidified my sleep schedule. please let me know your thoughts. thank you! | could gabapentin possibly be helping my underlying/un-diagnosed depression/anxiety? | 971b9u | gabapentin is used off-label for anxiety, and i have seen it work very well for some people. i haven't seen or heard of it used for depression, although it sees a little bit of use for bipolar disorder. could it be helping? it's conceivable; it also makes sense that if your anxiety messes with your mood and your anxiety is improved them overall you're able to feel better about things. no, you shouldn't take someone else's medication, but having done so it's reasonable to take that information to your doctor to see what can be done with it. if your primary doctor is scary and you can't talk to him then there's at least a little bit of a problem. that's one anxiety that hopefully is better so that you can let him know what's going on and hopefully get helpful input. | askdocs | 971b9u |
me (m/19) and my girlfriend (f/18) are in a 1.5 year relationship but for the last two months i am really doubting if i should break up or not. we go to college 2 hours away from each other so we see each other only in the weekends. she is a great girl: smart, caring and beautiful, but she has really low self-esteem and not a lot of friends so she is really dependent on me. this makes her hate it when i do something with my friends or family (for example she has forbidden me to go on a one week trip with my friends this summer) which makes me sad but i usually give in and choose to be with her instead. she cannot let go of me and begs for me to stay almost every weekend. the plan is that i will move to her city next year and she wants to move in together but i fear that this will not do me and her any good. i think maybe the controlling will get worse and she will have nobody else. i will see her again next friday and i was planning to break up but i'm really not sure i will ever find such a great girl and even though she has her bad points, i really love her and definitely don't want to hurt her by breaking up.. tl;dr my girlfriend is too dependent on me, should i break up with her? what is your advice? | should i break up with my girlfriend? | 6e2rj7 | dependency/neediness/clinging will ruin a relationship every time | relationship_advice | 6e2rj7 |
me and my gf were in a serious relationship for past 2 years . we usually started with casual and have made a decision that we will part ways when her parents will get her married. . she first told me she wants to marry me...we will convince our parents and will get married with their happiness. i told my parents from the starting ..and was ultimately able to convince them...she didnt find the courage to let her family know about our relationship. she made me make many promises and i totally stand up to those promises... she offerd me to run away and get married but i made her understand its not fair...she keep on saying from the start that she will die if i donot marry her..she will die if her parents donot listen..she will not let anybody touch her except me.... so we both were serious and happy. now the time came when her parents had found a groom for her. she told them about us but didnt hv the courage to tell everything . so her parents thought that it wasnt that serious . we just liked each other that it. and they pressuried her and same time told her to chose one of the two in haste and fast . they said either 1. choose them and forget about me and end everything 2. choose me and they will not contact her for lifetime and they will be dead to her. she wanted both but was not able to decide. in just 2 days after telling her parents ...she just gave up without much effort and without revealing all truths about our relationship and choose them. she told me to forget her and that she is sorry but parents happiness is all that matters. i feel like its not fair to my part and i am.not able to accept it. i want to try every possible thing to convince them but keeping the dignity and trust of our relationship intact. i want to tell her parents the complete situation and the whole truth about our relationship. will it be fair ? | is it fair that i go and reveal all truths about our relationship when gf didnt tell all truth ? | 6szkx0 | it's about her, not the parents. she's not ready to cut the cord and will never have a rel. until she does | relationship_advice | 6szkx0 |
19, male trying to become a female, 5'10", 125lbs, caucasian currently prescribed 125mg/day of zoloft. not planning on drinking anytime soon but in case it i end up in a situation where i know i'm probably going to how long should i wait beforehand? the rules said i had to post my other meds, so i'm also taking hrt. not that it matters though. yes i know i'm not supposed to be drinking but it helps with the depression so i just do it once in a blue moon. | how long should i be off of antidepressants before i drink alcohol? | 6p5j14 | alcohol "helps with the depression"? alcohol is a depressant. you're just disinhibited whilst drunk, not getting better. | askdocs | 6p5j14 |
a couple nights ago i went to a friends apartment and got blackout drunk like i do every week. his roommate works late shift so i sleep in her bed at night. usually when i wake up she’s the only other person in the apartment. most of the time i wake up to the tv and such and she’s out in the living room watching tv or playing games or something. well the other night i had woken up, still pretty drunk but sobered up enough to remember more or less, to her doing things to me. i was still to inebriated to really do anything. most of it is fleeting memories though. i tried passing it off as maybe a dream but there was cum all over my shirt and i woke up fully clothed and all tucked away. i’m so fucking stressed about it and i’m worried this has been happening for a while and i only just recently caught her. and to make things worse is she’s got hpv. i’ve got those hpv immunization shots but i’m like still scared as fuck. i don’t know what to do or who i talk to. | ok so i’m posting this here. probably not the best place but i don’t know where else to look for advice. i (21m) was raped a couple nights ago. | 73qiqu | go to the doctor. call the police. contact a rape crisis/support center. | relationship_advice | 73qiqu |
so, i am 104 days sober and today i reconnected with someone i was sort of dating before i stopped drinking. i told him about being sober and aa. he said that there were several times which were really bad, and once he said that he thinks i drink a lot and i got extremely pissed, etc. however he says that he thinks i can “learn moderation” and that i’m “not alcoholic” i don’t know what to think about this. because i know myself and i know i can’t learn moderation and as soon as i get a first drink, it’s over. i will not stop. and i couldn’t stop. but after him telling me that it’s making me think, oh, well maybe i can learn moderation? wtf. that’s my alcoholic brain telling me that.... but, he’s not the first person to tell me they don’t think i’m alcoholic. he’s the second, the other, was a severe alcoholic who i was hiding my shit from and he never really saw the extent of it. anyway... i don’t know. this is making my head go crazy. | alcoholic brain | e4tvgd | because no one can review all your memories and how you feel about drinking, no one decide for you whether or not you are better off not drinking. alcohol is the original anti anxiety medication and worrying about whether or not you are missing out on all the fun is a kind of anxiety. fun is great but mirth is better. and mirth is not as good as happiness. and contentment is even better than happiness. but even better than contentment is peace. and peace is a way of life. aa recommends a spiritual way of life and will allow you to know fun, mirth, happiness, contentment and peace but first you must be honest about alcohol and it’s harmful effects. then you can begin the process of self examination and getting on the best possible terms with everyone you know. acceptance is the answer. once you accept your condition you can begin the process of change. | alcoholicsanonymous | e4tvgd |
or is it legit when they offer praise or sympathy? | are therapists trained to be empathetic/sympathetic? | 2s3pvu | i am a graduate student in a mental health counseling program. therapists are trained to be empathetic, not sympathetic, but that might not mean what you mean by "empathetic". it means the therapist is working to put him/herself in the client's shoes, not feel bad/sorry for the client. one of the major focuses of therapeutic training is that you cannot be a good therapist without truly connecting with and caring about your clients. there will always be some distance in he therapist-client relationship, but any praise or commiseration should be genuine, even if it's expression has been thought out in advance. so, if your therapist is expressing emotion with you, it isn't fake, even if they received training in better ways to express those emotions. | mentalhealth | 2s3pvu |
i am need of some advice. i was diagnosed with insulin resistance pcos and endometriosis and was put on metformin to help make my insulin levels normal. i would really love to lose weight, not have horribly oily skin, and stop losing my hair. my question is what is the best diet and exercise for this? will my hair stop falling out with proper diet? | insulin resistant pcos help | 7w1j5b | i’ve done better on moderate low carb, high fiber, tons of veggies, than i ever did on keto/vlc diets. if always seems like a terrible idea to me, given how adrenally sensitive so many pcosers can be. my point is that you may need to experiment a bit. i have pretty classic pcos symptoms but my weight never budged/only increased/was so hard to even maintain on paleo, keto, atkins etc. my experience with pcos weight loss has been slow. but slow as it’s been the last three years, it’s the only success i’ve seen. and i’ve fucking tried it all. i follow the flo living protocol, which has helped undo the years of bad dieting mindset and helped me focus on supporting my body with the nutrients and types of activity it needs in each phase of my menstrual cycle. i’m also on 1500 of metformin er. er generally has fewer stomach issues. adjusting my dose slowly and only taking the metformin in the middle of my meals has eliminated my gi side effects. | pcos | 7w1j5b |
i apologize if this is an inappropriate subreddit for this, but please hear me out. for a summer homework assignment, i have to read a book called *’the glass castle’*. during the course of the book, a character named brian (aged i think 10 at this time) was molested by his grandmother. ever since i’d read that, it’s been bothering me, like a sinking feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, as if my guts themselves were trapped in quick sand. brian isn’t the only character to have been molested, he’s not even the first character either. on top of that, none of the characters are visibly bothered by their abuse (including brian), it’s *just* what happened to him that leaves me feeling like this. i had to reread the words over and over, and when i actually processed it felt as though something inside me had been ignited, it wasn’t anger, it felt like pure unadulterated anguish and despair. even now i can’t shake the feeling. if possible, i’d really love to talk to someone about why this bothers me so much. | why does this bother me so much? | cfw0xp | is it possible that something in the *way* it was written made this abuse in particular more poignant for you? or did the character remind you of someone? | askatherapist | cfw0xp |
my friend and his wife are divorcing. she and i used to be best friends but she decided for me that i would be taking his side in their divorce, and literally hates every fiber of my being. even so, i’ve kept her secret. shortly after they married she became pregnant. she absolutely did **not** want to be. so, she had an abortion. she lied and told him she miscarried their child. he was devastated. she got pregnant again, and her words, she decided to keep it because she didn’t like how upset he was when she “lost” the first baby. she told me other things, about wishing she’d never had their daughter, and though she loves the kid, she would willingly have had another abortion “if she’d had a choice”. because, even though he has no idea, and she decided for him the first time, he somehow forced her to remain pregnant the second time. their divorce is ugly. their relationship was ugly. she’s truly a horrible person. narcissistic to an astounding degree. hateful, vindictive, vengeful. he’s desperately trying to do every thing he can to be the primary parent. she will ruin that baby’s life. (she is also my god-daughter, and i love her as if she were my own, he’s like a brother to me.) do i tell him? i worry that it will only make him hate his stbx more, but i also worry that this secret could be the thing that tips the scales in his favor. their daughter needs to live with him. ex-wife is simultaneously a helicopter parent, while also being an “i don’t give a fuck about my child more than i do drugs” kind of parent. please. help me. | i (24f) have a napalm sized secret about my best friends (24m) soon to be ex wife (24f). should i tell him? | 80a8uk | i can’t see how telling him helps anyone. | relationship_advice | 80a8uk |
hey everyone this is just something i need help with. * when i was young i would do these involuntary movements to 'forget' **bad memories/thoughts**. it can be related to tourettes i guess, but it's more of a tic and it's controlled (i'm know that i'm doing it). * another instance is something very odd. i would do these involuntary movements to reassure myself that i'm **still going to be good at something**. say i don't do these movements i would get a slight mental confusion where i'm losing skill in something. it's a very odd instance. i can definitely stop doing it but it's a mental confusion thing. they would go away but sometimes they would unexpectedly come up after not doing them for a while. the involuntary movements would vary in my head turning all the way to the left looking in my peripheral vision for a second, eyebrow movements and tensing my muscles up for a quick second. is this just a paranoid conscious thing? i mean anxiety definitely increases it but i don't believe that's the stem. | i don't know what to call this.. someone help? | 416g5d | how often? what's specifically going on when you feel the need to do these movements? | mentalhealth | 416g5d |
i am diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type and in therapy. i finally opened up today about past traumas real or imagined. and he said that he saw me in three parts. the normal (me, trying to hold it all together), the rage (brian), and the confused (doesn't really have a name because of how twisted it is.) with a scared little boy at the center. does he mean dissociative identity disorder, or something else? he kept thanking the 'inner me's' for allowing me to express what i have bottled up since i was young. i just remember the end of the session feeling all twisted inside, like snakes were curling around in my chest. he also said he wants to see me as often as possible (whether because medicare pays for it (i am on disability), or he realizes i am in need of help). i see him again tomorrow. i've been in therapy since 2011, but it was with a low cost clinic and an lcsw. i never really felt connected to her because the therapy seemed to be on rails dictated by what the low income insurance would cover. this new psychologist actually takes the time to listen to what is going on and seems to understand what is inside me. | wondering what my therapist means. | 5ptfne | the best way to approach this is to ask! i can't be certain, but to me it sounds like your therapist is using ifs (internal family systems) therapy to explore parts of your self. | mentalhealth | 5ptfne |
**tl;dr: have you noticed a difference between driving while medicated vs driving unmedicated.** hey all! first off love this sub, i've never had a space make me feel this safe to ask questions like this. so i am about to embark on a coast to coast road trip from newfoundland to b.c with my best friend! i've had my license for 4 years now (got it pretty late at the age of 20) and i've been in two car accidents. one which i don't remember, vacant stretch of road where i ended up in a ditch on the opposite side of the road. the other was getting caught in the first snow on my way to get snow tires and losing control of the car and landing in a ditch. i used to drive about 2 hours every day as a commute, but now i live in a city and use public transit. i've been reassessed for adhd earlier this year and have been adjusting fairly well to vyvanse. i take it when i feel i need it, but i have not driven regularity for 2 years and haven't driven at all since i started taking it. i'm wondering if people here had similar stories of accidents while they were unmedicated. if medication has helped their driving. if learning to drive unmedicated/undiagnosed caused any weird learning curve when they began driving after being medicated/diagnosed. i won't be leaving on this trip for another week and a half, so i'm just trying to prepare for over 9000km of driving in my near future! thanks as always, buds! | driving; medicated vs unmedicated? | 54x6t3 | when or if i drive after being unmedicated for a few days reminds me of that dog from *up*. i'm looking at every billboard, street sign, and cute girl i pass instead of what's actually happening in front of my vehicle. when i'm adequately medicated and on the right dose, i still can have problems with inattention but it's nowhere near as bad. i'm much more mindful of my lack of attention and my ability to pull my focus back to where it needs to be is definitely there too. | adhd | 54x6t3 |
male 6'0 184lbs non smoker single ​ ​ so this might sound weird but i've never taken vitamins in my life, but i've started reading about how good some of them can be for you. here's the question.. how do i know what vitamins i should be taking? i don't wanna start taking a b12 vitamin if my body doensn't need it, what should i ask my doctor for to find out what vitamins i need? basic blood test? ​ thank you for taking the time to read my question ​ cheers! | vitamins advice, what do i take? do i take any? | 9jgx07 | there's no evidence that vitamins are helpful and slight evidence that they are harmful unless you have a specific vitamin deficiency, which is unusual in first world countries. unless you have symptoms i wouldn't go looking. | askdocs | 9jgx07 |
since about 14 i had a very tight knit group of friends, and i valued there friendships dearly. i made friends with them and in turn they became friends with each other. they made up the collective whole of my friendships until i joined the army when i was 18. i kept in pretty good contact all things considered for 4 years and was hopeful for the day we could all hang out again. they seemed generally supportive of the idea and i sensed nothing was amiss. once i got out though, they all seemed to not have any interest in me. perhaps i've changed too much, but they make no effort to keep in contact, invite me to nothing, and in the past year and a half have managed to stop by and say hi once. they aren't just "busy with their lives", as they manage to meet up most evenings even to this day. this especially hurts, because at one point i was the "center" of the group, and now i'm not even apart of it the main concern i have is this whole experience has left me jaded towards the idea of friendships, and i recognize this as destructive. i'm aggressive and distant to most people, and i guess i'm just afraid of being hurt again in the long run. just wanted to know if anyone with similar experiences dealt with this kind of thing. i don't want to go through the rest of my life being hateful towards friendly strangers and co-workers. it's not a need for friends, but a need to not be a douche to everyone as a defense mechanism, you know? | left for the army and friends all moved on without me, cynical and not sure how to reconnect with people. | 4686sa | i feel like this happens at a lot of life junctions - end of high school, end of college, start of parenthood ... people mean well, usually, but life goes on and if someone isn't in your immediate vicinity it can be tough to keep up meaningfully. i think the best you can do is reach out to those that you really want to keep in your life, and try to make friends wherever you are. those connections might not last forever, but they still can be meaningful relationships. | advice | 4686sa |
want to make sure she doesn't develop a clot. her calves look fine, no swelling, no redness. but more of a prevention move on my part. unfortunately compression machine is old and is set at a default 40 mmhg rate. it compresses one leg for 12.5 seconds then releases, then does the other leg for 12.5 seconds and then releases. then restarts every 60 seconds. | is a compression machine for calf at 40 mmgh safe for a 54 day bedridden 76 year old (4'10 110 pds)? she is bedridden because she suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhagic stroke | 8oso13 | i don't know the recommended pressure or rate for a sequential compression device, but that sounds reasonable. \(i think often the pressure is higher than 40 mmhg, but i actually don't pay that much to the devices other than noting that they're on a patient's legs.\) my understanding is also that for someone so bedridden usually pharmacologic dvt prophylaxis is recommended. in layman's terms, you want medications to prevent a clot, not just the device. the device is good, but it's not as good. even after a hemorrhagic stroke prophylactic doses of heparin or enoxaparin \(lovenox\) reduce overall risk. not my field of medicine. this is an important discussion to have with this person's doctor\(s\). | askdocs | 8oso13 |
background: * i went for a formal psychiatric assessment a couple months ago, and the psychiatrist was hesitant to label me and instead said i had *symptoms* of gad and persistent depressive disorder. i figured it was hard to really "label" me obviously especially since my functioning isn't impaired and i can go to work, social events, etc. just i'm just permanently in a lower mood and in a negative state. not going to get into it here, but for as long as i could remember, things have felt off to me. * a month after my appointment, i then started weekly psychotherapy appointments with a psychiatry resident (which is free and was the most available service to me compared to if i were to seek out a therapist/psychologist). i honestly feel that if i went a few years ago, any diagnosis would've been more obvious. however, i have found my own ways to cope more healthily with more negative symptoms and feelings, and tried to remove triggers in my life. yet, i still struggle with a lot of things today... just at a more maintained level. i asked the psychiatry resident if there were any diagnostic labels she would apply to me, and she said she spoke to the original psychiatrist who did my assessment and said we could go through the dsm criteria together and see what applies if it would make me feel better. so she asked some questions and ended up saying "yeah it seems like those labels would fit"... but i'm not convinced she really "believes" i have anything aside from maladjustment and some negative thinking patterns. i hate the feeling of having to almost convince/prove to someone that something's wrong... i've known that things have been off almost all my life and have already told her about all the negative/abusive situations i've grown up with, my lack of self-esteem, inability to handle rejection, dissociative moments, etc. i know some people are hesitant to label, but it seems incredibly invalidating to me especially because i know i'm not as well-adjusted as most people i know, but i also am fully aware (and grateful) that i'm not suffering as much as those who can barely function with their disorders. sure, it's all on a spectrum, but what is even the point of going through all this if i'm not even "that bad". | felt like i got a "pity diagnosis" in therapy - help? | 7th7zc | some providers don’t subscribe to the western notion of problem based medicine and therefore spurn diagnosis. you may be working with a provider who doesn’t see value in a label. honestly your symptoms aren’t going to change based on what label they are given. so some people don’t put much importance on it. especially if it wouldn’t change the treatment. | mentalhealth | 7th7zc |
specifically, questions that people maybe don't typically think of? me and my future roommates are going to go visit the apartment complexes we're considering in person tomorrow. i was just wondering if there's something that's a good idea to know before committing to an apartment that most people wouldn't think of. | questions to ask when you're apartment hunting? | 39w020 | ask about their policy if you need to move out early/break your lease. | advice | 39w020 |
i'm not sure if any of you guys get what i'm saying, but this has been a big issue for me the last few years. i feel like as i have started to cure my adhd with stimulants, meds, increasing my awareness, etc, that i've developed a sort of hyper sensitivity to the world that i didn't have before. i can read faces and body language extremely easily even without trying, it's like i see what people are saying or thinking without them even saying it. some may think this is a good thing, but it also hurts me often. i can see when someone is upset at me for some reason, like when i make an accidental mistake or being late. or when people are just mean, it affects me more than it would for most. when people say mean things online i can't relate to it at all. i think wow how could that person be so mean? and it just makes me be pretty weary of people in general. i don't like insulting people, even jokingly. i can't really handle mean humor, much less name calling. i feel like i've grown very empathic, sensitive in general, and while it has given me a greater understanding and makes me a very considerate person i'm also very easy to hurt. it's easy for someone to look at me wrong, or say something mean to me and like ruin my day. because of this i also find myself being very selective about who i get close to. i no longer look at people for their looks, but rather i listen, and i look for people that seem very kind, considerate, patient etc, those attributes matter far more to me now than any other features in person. and meanness even when its joking around, i find i don't really have the skin for it anymore. and i do sort of wish i could handle it, but i'm not sure what i could do to get better with that. anyone struggle with feeling this way? or have any suggestions to sort of make this hyper sensitivity less? | i'm too highly sensitive? how to grow a thicker skin? | 5kkrk5 | i am similar -- can tell subtle mood shifts in a room, can tell when someone's very subtly disappointed or irritated or hurt, etc. i have used this to my advantage, and am now in my final year of psychiatry residency. i totally agree with the commenters talking about mindfulness of emotions and thoughts. i totally recommend talking to a therapist to troubleshoot this or get more personalized guidance. it is so important to get cozy with your emotions and learn to accept and identify/name them in the moment, without giving them the burden of "meaning something bigger" about your life or the future or whatever. my biggest piece of advice to add, or the piece of advice i found most helpful, is to let people have their feelings. you can't control others' feelings, it's a bit overbearing and controlling to try! so when someone's mad at you, or slightly disappointed, or whatever, try to remind yourself that they are entitled to their own emotions the same way you're entitled to yours. if their emotion elicits an emotion in you, think about your emotion, and probably also talk to a therapist about it. but regardless, you are not responsible for others' emotions, and their emotions don't necessarily mean anything in particular about you. people can have feelings that come and go and don't mean anything in "the big picture" of you or your relationship with them. | adhd | 5kkrk5 |
31 female, white about 200 pounds, 5'1. never smoker, occasional drinker but not since ai got pregnant. medications are: prozac 60mg, ambien 2.5mg-5 mg as needed for sleep. tylenol as needed, famotadine and tums as needed (but daily almost), and i've had to take vistaril 25mg for a break through anxiety attack a few weeks ago. (discontinued) adderall regular 10mg up to 3x a day weaned off over about a month i have a history of anxiety, adhd, severe depression, post partum depression from my last pregnancy. current conditions 26 weeks pregnant (due in july) and have been on pelvic rest and light duty since late december due to bleeding and losing blood clots. obgyn checked thoroughly and ultrasounds show health cervix, no issues, and a visual examination of my cervix and vaginal walls are intact and no tearing, so it was ruled a "leaky blood vessel". amniotic fluid is great, and anatomy scan showed a very healthy, organs all in place with good blood flow, baby boy. bit of back story - i found out i was pregnant in december when i was further along than i realized because i was still having a "period" (the spotting and bleeding i was experiencing that ultimately put me on pelvic rest a few weeks later). okay so i have been on prozac since before i gave birth to my second child in nov 2016, i want to say i started it in late september because my depression was making me go a little crazy. our home flooded in louisiana so add that to the stress of a new baby. that baby did great, and i stayed on my low dose of prozac for almost a year claiming things were fine but was really dealing with serious ppd. i finally stepped up and got help and since then i am now up to 60mg of prozac daily. my insurance does not cover any name adhd medications or xr, so i have been on 10 mg adderall up to 3x a day for about 2ish years. when i found out i was pregnant, i didn't want to just stop taking the adderall so i decided it was best for me to slowly wean off. in the past if i abruptly stopped i had some really angry withdrawal symptoms, so i talked it over with my ob and pysch and while understanding the risks, i weaned off much slower than i maybe should have. but i'm finally off of it. however after what happened during my last pregnancy i felt it was safer for me to stay on that treatment, because if i tried to do without medication again i was terrified of what i'd do to myself or my unborn baby. i had full support from both doctors. well, the support that is tied with their cautions of course. okay so i stopped taking the adderall around january/february-ish, but still on prozac. i know both can cause the baby to withdraw once he's born. how long would the adderall be effective in his system if i stopped taking it in january and presumably go full term to july, is there a risk he would still have any in his system to cause him to withdraw? would the prozac exacerbate anything or bc the prozac is still in my system so it would be in his, would that affect how the adderall leaves? and with the adderall being a low dose to begin with then wean down to, does that make a difference as to whether he may withdraw at all from it? how many weeks does it take to clear their system in utero? i've seen reports that some women are going into preterm labor when they got sick so if i somehow deliver early could the adderall still be there? i figure there's a chance he will withdraw from the prozac, and i feel ashamed i still have to take it but i can't put my family through that again. my 7 year old son was terrified of me for weeks after. i just know amphetamines can be worse when it comes to withdrawing in infants so to combine the two now is really scaring me. thank you for any help. *added adderall in the medication area at the top | i am pregnant and had to wean off of my adderall, how long until it's cleared from the baby's system and will be withdraw from prozac? | fwdvhc | there’s not a lot of data on adderall in pregnancy, but what does exist is reassuring. at therapeutic doses it doesn’t appear to have any negative effects. it’s also long out of both of your systems by now. prozac has a very long half-life, but is also quite safe in pregnancy. in general, for women with a history of severe depression that have done well with ssris, the recommendation is to continue them through pregnancy. an exception might be made for parole tone (paxil), which is different from other ssris in some important ways. because of prozac’s half-life your baby may self-taper and have no symptoms at all. ssri withdrawal in newborns is not a serious risk anyway, although it can be distressing to you to think you are causing harm. good luck to both of you! | askdocs | fwdvhc |
i am an unemployed student on summer break right now and i would love to spend my time practising music, but i can hardly get an hour in due to constant fatigue. is this medication related? i've been on abilify for a few years but only noticed the tiredness recently. | constant, unending exhaustion on abilify | 5hvbo0 | if youve been on aripiprazole for a while and the dose hasnt been changed of late, it seems unlikely to be due to this. might be worthwhile getting a routine checkup with your gp/pcp though. | mentalhealth | 5hvbo0 |
the thing is that after a while, the person i'm with starts to get boring. the initial spark is gone and well, i lose interest. i guess the part where you get to know all these things about a stranger is the most exciting to me. i don't know what to do about it and i've had my fair share of bad break ups because of this. any kind of guidance is much appreciated. | i can't sustain a relationship because i get bored | 5u2vc9 | nothing is exciting like newness. life is about trade-offs. the choice is serial short-lived newness or long-lived not-newness. the people who opt for the latter welcome the security, stability and constancy of long-lived-love | relationship_advice | 5u2vc9 |
i recently had a mole on my knee removed and the doctor used lidocaine with epinephrine. i just found out today that there is a risk associated with using epinephrine during pregnancy so needless to say i am pretty upset. at the time i was 11 weeks + 5 days pregnant and i am now 12 weeks + 6 days. i called my obgyn office but its the end of the day and they aren't likely to get back to me before the weekend. how risky was this? | epinephrine during pregnancy | 9a20sa | very low risk. the epinephrine is mixed with lidocaine to cause blood vessels to constrict so the lidocaine (and epinephrine) stay in the area and provide numbness. the point is to keep medications out of your blood and in the local tissue. the amount that ends up distributed to any organs relevant to pregnancy is tiny. | askdocs | 9a20sa |
am i unreasonable or am i being manipulated? my boyfriend is wearing me out lately, but i’m not sure if i’m too sensitive or if i’m not seeing things properly? we have been together nearly 2 years. he’s 40 i’m 27. he’s been verbally abusive due to a drink problem he tried to conceal during lockdown. his dad died last year then his mother was diagnosed with cancer so says this is why it happened. he swears he doesn’t really mean what he says, it’s just the drink he can’t control it etc, he loves me and doesn’t know what he’s saying etc. he’s called me a typical fucking whore, a slut, tramp, a cunt, bitch, manipulative, etc etc etc. he’s thrown glass at the wall once and locked me outside twice but denied it? it’s painful to hear insults, he brings up my exes and says i did things for them that i won’t him (sexually) and implies i’m cheating when i’m not. i have left before for 3 weeks when i couldn’t handle any more, and he went to his sisters for some help, because he kept telling me to fucking leave, get out of his fucking house etc. cleaned himself up and i thought we were back on track. he’s been getting counselling over the phone. he’s been hiding it again recently and lying about not drinking and he’s just tired etc but now is tapering off again because we can all tell. initially he told me he slipped up, and i kept and eye but for some reason he started to hide it again and it’s been feeling hostile here again. when i call him out for lying, he’s so offended. he says it’s not lying, because it’s his mental health. and for me to call him out for lying is the equivalent of him saying that i’m “mental” because i suffer from ocd. i said it wasn’t fair to compare the two and he swears his therapists are on his side, and he admitted “at times i do think you’re crazy. but i i know you can’t help it.”?????????? he didn’t want me to admit to our families and friends because he was embarrassed but after the week i had last week i had no choice. he was meant to meet my friend for the first time last satirday, and he promised he would behave and not get shitfaced before meeting her. he needed toothpaste and didn’t want to feel like a child being babysat and monitored over buying drink. so i agreed to cut some slack and say okay prove to me i can trust you, don’t throw it back in my face by drinking - then he came back drunk. he was accusing me of only ever dressing nicely when i was with exes, and accusing me of hoping to bump into him - all while saying i never make effort when we go out , literally while i was in the middle of dolling myself up for us to go outta meet my friend for dinner! when i asked him “do you not think i look nice now then if i apparently never make effort?” he shrugged and said “well it’s ok i suppose.” but later he walked past me grunted and called me a tramp but denied it immediately. when i said he was out of order he was like “fuck this i’m not coming you can go on your fucking own”. then my friend arrived, he changed his mind. she could tell he was drunk immediately, he kept his sunglasses on indoors, was slow and slurring and asking the same questions. in the moments before she arrived he was being cruel to me, but when she came he kept saying how stunning she is, she’s lovely she deserves better than the guy she’s dating etc etc - so doesn’t this prove he does know what he’s saying if he was able to be nice to her? she admitted she felt it was to get a rise from me too. the next day my parents came over to fix my car. he was secret drinking and denying it - yet insulting me because i have ex boyfriends again, and being so cruel. he said he was gonna make himself scarce when they came, but it turns out he hid in the cellar the whole time. i vented to my mother about his behaviour then i heard him cough downstairs. i went to check and he was laying on n the ground under a duvet surrounded by trash and vodka in lemonade bottles. my stepdad my mum and i sat him down and said it can’t continue like this it isn’t fair. he needs help and he needs to take it more seriously. my family admitted they are always worried about my own wellbeing because i suffer from ocd so i am anxious anyway. and it’s a lot to deal with. he sobered up during the conversation and was apologetic. we trusted him later on when he said he wanted to get us all some food, and jesus christ he came back wasted again and denied it to all 3 of us. before anyone crucified me, i also did check his phone, because i don’t trust him. he swears cheating is wrong and disgusting etch - but he keeps accusing me when i haven’t, and he’s also hacked my ipad before now and robbed old photos from like 6 years ago it i didn’t even know i had on there (that’s another story) he analyses what i wear to work, if i chew gum there, he’s gone through my bag and he’s basically insecure as fuck but swears he’s a very secure person!!! anyway, i found out he was messaging a girl he knew once from a holiday he claims he never slept with. she lives in a different country and he says it is innocent because it was platonic - but also said he would have slept with her if she let him, she just wasn’t “easy”. to me that isn’t just platonic because he basically wanted to...anyway. i also feel it was a red flag that he hasn’t shared any of our holiday photos from last year, but has managed to talk to her online? i said i felt he was hiding me, but he swears “instagram isn’t my priority when my dying mother is” i can’t argue that. this resulted in him saying he was deleting instagram, it causes too many issues i’m fucking crazy and infantile, and he doesn’t live his life through social media apps like i do apparently. about a week later his instagram reappeared, he says he thought it was permanently gone. fast forward to now, i saw he had been liking photos of a different girl he actually did sleep with before me on that same holiday as the girl above. they were of her literally naked on instagram, one of her butt and one close up of her boobs in a top. he spoke to her in direct messages when we were first getting together, and swears it’s sarcastic of nature but it clearly isn’t. he says i’m getting him all wrong, it was early on it doesn’t matter anyway- and he meant what he said to her in a “fuck you bitch” way, but i don’t buy it. he’d been messaging her a month before we went away on that holiday last year that he hasn’t bothered to share - as a result, he “deleted” his instagram again. on the face of it it seems petty, but it seems suspect to me which is why i am so bothered by it. last night he was cold and distant when i said he hurt me by being cruel and insulting to me but nice to other women - and then he said i have been “avoiding with him all year and he’s used to it now so don’t come near me i don’t feel like cuddles now. leave me alone. i don’t know if there’s too much damage now”. i was hurt again. i did become less comfortable showing as much affection back then maybe? because he kept saying to leave even then! because his ex was causing problems . but he denies it now, just says he was trying to be “fair on me”. he also used to say i was needy so i think it forced me to look for physical touch less? but now he’s accusing me of being cold!!!!! guys help i don’t know what my life is any more. i feel stuck, i’m waiting for things to be easier again it was perfect in the beginning 😢 tldr my alcoholic bf is verbally abusive and denies it’s really him. but he was nice to other women despite drink. he’s either loving or spiteful. he throws me out then begs me to stay, messed with my head but i don’t know if i’m just too sensitive. he messaged two girls on instagram and deleted his account twice when i called him out. then he accuses me of being petty infantile and crazy for wondering why he can message them when his mother is ill, but not share photos of me on there because she is ill and she’s his priority? am i crazy? update: since this, my car broke down. i am stuck an hour away from family, but he said he would get my car fixed and take me to work. half an hour later, he says he wants a break for 3 months. and is taking me back to my flat first thing in the morning, and when i said “what about my car? and work?” he’s like “i dunno 🤷🏼♂️ “ i asked the next morning when he’s taking me back and he backtracks again!!!! said he doesn’t really want me to go, just struggles to convey himself, and was upset i didn’t argue against it when i said okay if you want that and it will benefit us long term then? now he’s back to loving me so much, calling me beautiful, stunning, he’s proud to be seen with me etc etc he also admitted (with no pushing from me) he only deactivated his instagram again, and it’s not permanently deleted like he told me it was - for the second time now i’m so lost i truly don’t know what to do | i cant tell if i’m the problem any more 😢 my friends and family say no, but my alcoholic bf is very convincing. long post i would very much appreciate outside perspectives please, i’m begging you all | imygd3 | sounds like he is an insecure, controlling asshole, who also happens to be an alcoholic. it clearly all stems from him, and hoping for him to change is a pretty unrealistic expectation, because he has to want to change and put effort in. even if he did, the kind of behavior he is exhibiting towards you would take years to try and change. i hope he gets better, but there is no way you deserve to be treated the way you have been treated. even a single one of the examples you provided is a deal breaker. i admire the fact that you have tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and look at him with empathy, but nobody deserves to be treated the way he treats you. my advice is to get as far away from him as possible. maybe you leaving will be a wake up call for him to try and sober up, or maybe not; either way your future should not include this guy. his issues run far deeper than just his alcoholism. | alcoholicsanonymous | imygd3 |
imploring your help from a throwaway! hopefully the redditor that invited me won't find me here. anyways, someone that i had in a class about a year ago that i was pretty cool with (never really hung out with) invited me to a vacation getaway that his friends go to annually. it's basically a week long stay at a condo that's on the beach, literally. it is in 15 days. and while i'm super stoked about it, i'm also incredibly nervous. i don't know if this is noteworthy, but i'm a female. the only person i will know on the trip is the guy who invited me. while this is a great opportunity to make new friends, when i received the facebook invite to the "official" vacation page, a wave of nervousness swept over me and is still gripping me. this is legit shit. everyone's coordinating, planning, etc, and here i am just kinda sitting there reading it all. not entirely contributing. i did, however, send a message to the coordinator, so yay baby steps! but other than that, i'm totally scared to even make a comment on the group page. i know i need to get over this anxiety asap, since the vacation is so soon. any help would be greatly appreciated. **tl;dr got invited to a week long vacay where i only know the person who invited. i'm fucking nervous.** edit: there are 6 other people going, i believe. | got invited to a vacation getaway! i'm so nervous! help! | t8n6m | baby steps are good :) don't think of it as "i have to get to know everyone right now and be best friends with the entire group." just think of it as "let me think of the next thing to do, and then do that thing." the next thing would probably be for you to post on the group page and introduce yourself. short post is fine--just to say hi, and maybe say one thing that you're looking forward to doing with people on the trip. after you've posted that, there's other friendly outreach things you can do--but that's after you've posted. first steps first. also, i'm not sure if you'll find this helpful, but i wrote an article on [social anxiety](WEBLINK) awhile back. maybe it will be encouraging to you :) | socialskills | t8n6m |
i am not asking for diagnosis! i am just asking for opinions on this subject! i am quite scared that i am a lesbian. i don't want to be. but, since really questioning my sexuality, i don't seem to look at men the same way i used to. why is this? is it because i am a lesbian? last night i was watching gay porn (like i always do) to convince myself that i liked men, the man in it was gorgeous! his figure was amazing! but, why don't i look at men the same? does this sound like hocd? | hocd? | 5jy5wy | obligatory comment: go see a qualified ocd specialist. feeling less attracted to the preferred gender is common with hocd, as is compulsive checking for reassurance like looking at porn (gay, straight, lesbian, etc) to confirm or disprove arousal. hocd can make people look at others "differently" because the sufferer is now looking for confirmation and certainty of arousal. previously, arousal came naturally and one is not attracted to all people, even "attractive people", of their preferred gender, but with hocd one must be aroused, or else. try going without watching gay porn and ask yourself whats the worst thing that would happen to you or in your life if you were to actually be gay? this is probably what you are actually afraid of and avoiding. | ocd | 5jy5wy |
i'll try to keep this as brief as i can. i have clinical depression and i've been struggling with a period of major, crippling depression for almost two years now. most of the time, my depression is manageable, but these major periods just destroy me; the last time this happened it lasted for three years. i've never had success with medication and therapy, but until recently, i've never seriously pursued it. for a period of time, i was seeing both a counselor and a physician (general practitioner) about once a month. the counselor was for talk therapy and the physician prescribed medication. i've tried three medications without success: zoloft and lexipro were prescribed for me about ten years ago (the last time i sought help without success), and both of them were completely useless; zoloft actually made things considerably worse. most recently, i was prescribed citalopram, but all it did was make me sleepy so after three months i stopped taking it. all three of these medications also gave me some pretty miserable diarrhea. the final medication i was prescribed was effexor (or something like that; all of these drugs sound like they were named after he-man characters), but i was only on it for about a month and a half before i had to stop taking it due to insurance problems. it wasn't doing any good either, although i do recognize that i wasn't really taking it long enough to have an impact. i avoided seeking help for many months after that, partially because i'm in a new city and partially because finding help is a major pain in the ass and i'm seriously doubtful that it'll do any good. about two weeks ago i decided to do what had been suggested by my counselor and physician before i moved and call for an appointment with a psychiatrist. i was told that, because psychiatrists are medical doctors who specialize in mental illness, this would be to my benefit. after getting sent to a voicemail by a receptionist a few times, i finally spoke to a registered nurse, who told me something along the lines of "all we do here is prescribe medication". i did make the appointment, but it takes an insane amount of time to get in. i won't be able to see a psychiatrist until march. in the mean time, i'm using damn near all of my daily energy just to do basic tasks and convince myself that the constant pain of my depression will eventually subside and no, it's best not to kill myself since it'll destroy the people closest to me. so now i'm thinking this: what's the damn point of seeing a psychiatrist if all they do is prescribe medication? i already know there's a good chance that the only thing i'll get out of this is a refilling of the effexor, followed by another three or four months of hoping that i get something out of it instead of side effects. since any medical doctor can do this, i might as well find another physician; hell, i could probably get an appointment set up in less than two weeks. so really, what this comes down to is this: **tl;dr: psychiatrists are incredibly difficult to schedule, and all they do is prescribe medication. physicians are significantly easier to schedule, and they can also prescribe medication. what, if anything, would be the point of seeing a psychiatrist? do they serve any purpose besides prescribing medication?** | is there any specific benefit to seeing a psychiatrist rather than a physician? | 17c5ou | first of all, good for you for calling for an appointment. that was a big step. but second of all -- it is unacceptable to have to wait for an appointment until march. there are plenty of psychiatrists out there -- call some more until you find one who can see you sooner. third -- yes, i think it does make a difference to see a psychiatrist rather than a non-specialist physician. psychiatrists are much more familiar with the all psychiatric medications available, how patients do on them, what the common side effects are, how long they take to work, how to transition between them, and all kinds of other stuff -- because that's all they deal with. a good psychiatrist will listen to you and work with you to find a medication (or combination thereof) that will work for you. you need to do your part by seeing them regularly and calling them if something's not right -- but they can be a huge part of your support system for getting better. one guy i used to see could tell if my medication was working by looking at me! finally, i highly recommend a book called ["the noonday demon: an atlas of depression" by andrew solomon](WEBLINK). the author documents his own efforts to get properly medicated and there is a lot of really useful information about living with depression. you deserve to get caring and competent help from your healthcare providers -- so if you're not, look for another one until you do. | depression | 17c5ou |
hi r/askdocs, i understand if this is the wrong subreddit to post to, but i don't know of a better option. i was out sick from work for three days (this wednesday-friday) because of a stomach problem/throwing up frequently and my employer is asking me to provide a doctor's note, but i never went to a doctor's for this, and just stayed in bed to get better. this is the fourth day, saturday, and i've just about recovered from the issue but have no idea how i'm supposed to get a doctors note. there is an urgent care clinic near my place, and i was wondering if i went in and explained my situation (i have gerd, and several other relevant health issues) would i be able to get a doctor's note from them? 22, m, 6'2", 180, w. the reason i'm asking this now instead of just going ahead with it, is that it would cost $100+ for the visit and would hate to leave there without what i was looking for. thanks for any suggestions, i really do appreciate it. | urgent care doctors note? | 8v54f8 | it's entirely at the doctor's discretion. i hate that situation; i feel sympathetic, but i cannot honestly say anything about how sick someone was before i was able to examine him. i would call work and explain that while you can see a doctor now, you didn't and should not have, and is there any other recourse here. but i've been told "no" by work for that sort of thing before and had to go in to be convincingly sick and sent home. you'd think hospitals would be better about this, but absolutely not. | askdocs | 8v54f8 |
she said it was obnoxious. she clarified that she was referring to my behavior and not what i actually am...but instead it now feels like that's all i am, because she thinks that. i can be quite impish, unruly, and yes, unpleasant. lately i have been under a lot of stress on all fronts and i get into a lot of confrontations with strangers. i feel like i always have to " right" things, as if to compensate so many wrongs. i'm especially reactive right now as i feel like i am just going through the motions of my life as i am sorting things out. i'm not sure that actually being obnoxious is the issue i have, but that she thinks i am. i'm confused. | i'm having a hard time dealing with what my therapist named my behavior today | 5dr4m1 | thats part of recovery is separating your feelings/actions from your identity. you are perfectly capable of a wide range of behaviors that are outside of your identified self. what yo are experiencing is called cognitive dissonance, and that's good. you are now more aware of your actions and how they might be seen by others, and it sounds like you don't like it. so what will you do about it? best plan is just to be more conscious of how you are acting and how you want to be taken. communication is a two way street and your intentions do not always direct the flow of interaction | bpd | 5dr4m1 |
im physically fit. im productive. my sons love n respect me. i eat well. im on point at work. i look at the world in a calm positive light. i handle challenges and set backs with matter of fact determination. i choose how i react. all of this was out of reach before i ditched booze. all of these improvements n upgrades in my life are constructed n predicated atop a foundation of not drinking. if i were to take a sip of the poison then my foundation would give way and all i've built/am building would come crashing down! therefore iwndwyt 👊 | no booze is the foundation | aqjo9m | amen, friend. 16mos sober and this was perfect for me right now. thank you | stopdrinking | aqjo9m |
i apologize for using a throwaway account, but my job relies on absolute anonymity. i need advice. i work as an associate pastor at a church. for the past year or so, a woman from our congregation has been coming to the church during normal business hours once or twice a month wanting to speak to the senior pastor (sp) for prayer and guidance. when the sp is not around, which is uncommon, this person usually defers to to me. the first time i met with her, i was a little confused. she was looking for spiritual guidance for a legal matter she was going through. she told me that a parent had passed and that a sibling had convinced this parent on their deathbed to keep her out of the will. the way she talked about the situation had a conspiracy feel to it, but i have dealt with many people who each deal with grief in different ways, so i didn't think much of it at the time. fast forward a few months when she comes in again when the sp isn't around. this time she wanted prayers for cleansing. apparently, strange things had been happening at her home. the sp and another member actually went to her house to pray over it at some point since the last time i had talked to her. she said things had gotten better for a few weeks, but the issues were back. i asked her how she knew this and the only thing she would tell me was that there was a "dripping" sound that was somehow connected to the evil spirits infesting her house [my own summary, not her's]. i can't really describe it, but the whole conversation had a paranoia feel to it. a few weeks later, i met with her again or the same one. this time she gave me a little bit more information. she explained that her sibling was somehow influenced by or otherwise connected with this evil presence (also in her house) and that it was directly responsible for her father's death. i had a hard time following the conversation, as her train of thought was mostly incoherent. at this point, i became very concerned for this woman's well-being. i've been within earshot of the sp's conversations with this woman many times and he seems to treat the illness as a strictly spiritual matter, which, in my view is only amplifying the issue. today, she called the church asking if the sp was in and if she could stop by and speak to him and also use our phone. i agreed. when she arrived, the sp was just finishing up another meeting, so i struck up conversation with her, wondering why she needed to use out phone (she has a cell). she explained that her phone was "tapped." i asked her how she became aware of this and she explained that her sibling (still involved in a legal battle with her) had information he otherwise couldn't have known. she became visibly upset when i asked her about this. i later overheard part of the conversation she was having with the sp, where she seemed to be suggesting that one of her lawyers was now in on the conspiracy too (with her brother). i need some advice. this woman clearly needs help outside of what we can offer at the church. in my estimation, the sp's (and others') response is gravely harmful. how does one go about getting help for a person in this situation? and i know people have mixed feelings about religion. i'm hoping we can look past religion's shortcomings in this matter and hear some solid suggestions. | pastor looking for advice with [presumably] mentally ill person | 7yq7ia | before i went into my current supervisory position, i spent a lot of time providing therapy for adults with psychotic disorders. generally when schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders manifest causing delusional thinking, the delusions are based in the person's core beliefs and interests. folks that tend towards the religious side often have religious delusions (angels, demons, evil, etc.), individuals that have had legal problems have paranoia of the police or government tapping their phones, science minded people believe radio signals, aliens, etc. are broadcasting to their mind. these are generalities and there are always exceptions but i've seen a lot of this. i've had a lot of great success working with folks who at the onset were very guarded and had little insight into the cause of their symptoms believing completely in the delusion. the key is to go with it for a while. whether their experience is objectively "real" or not doesn't matter. it's real to them. help them cope with the stress it is causing them whether that be through prayer, counseling, or any other means. all in all, while as a therapist i tend to be against running straight to the medication route, there is nothing that's going to help someone with psychotic features as much as medication. it's incredibly important that they see a doctor and get medicated as soon as possible. once you've built rapport, talk to her about talking to a doctor or therapist "in order to help her cope with all the stress that these situations are causing her." i'm not religious and i'm not sure if you would feel in-authentic saying this to her or not but you might say something to effect of "god brought you here to us in the church so that we could guide you in the right direction. this is what i believe is the right direction for you." sadly, you can't force someone to "get help" unless of course they appear to be an immediate danger to themself or others, in which case you can call emergency services and they may come to evaluate her and involuntarily hospitalize her. best of luck with this one. if all else fails, you can listen to her non-judgmentally and continue to be supportive. most of the world won't do this so having someone who will can be extremely helpful to her whether she's ready to seek the necessary medical help or not. [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | mentalhealth | 7yq7ia |
i have been with my boyfriend for about 5-6 months now and i want to stay with him. however, he always jokingly insults me. this may be jokingly moaning about spending time with me or just general insults that he says are just jokes. i know that he does not mean them, but it is pretty much constant and is starting to make me feel insecure. i know that my self esteem has dropped because of it and it's making me a jealous and untrusting person. i could deal with the jokes if he said nice things to me also, but he never compliments me or makes me feel good about myself because he is not that sort of person. what do i do? i don't want to break up but i need a way of sorting this before my self esteem gets any lower. | boyfriend [23/m] always jokingly upsets me [20/f]- what do i do? | 6pvnbh | an insult is not a laughing matter. it's rude and crude. insist he stop or leave | relationship_advice | 6pvnbh |
i always have coffee in the morning. it doesn’t do squat for me, i could have a cup and go right back to bed. i just like the warm familiarity. i’m taking my first dose of adderall xr 30 in the morning and i think i should follow my routine and have coffee, but my spouse thinks it’s too many stimulants at once. thoughts? edit: thanks all for the answers! i will do caffeine-free tea instead. | coffee and adderall? | bbv211 | don't have a coffee first dose. i have had to quit all caffeine as it makes my meds completely ineffective. it sucks. i miss it. try the meds without it then slowly introduce it and notice it's effects. | adhd | bbv211 |
if you are in therapy and your therapist referred to you as a client, how would you feel if they started referring to you as a patient? or if you're called a patient and your therapist started calling you a client, do you think it would make a difference? and for therapists, would it affect how you view the people that you treat based on whether or not you called them clients or patients? if you call them clients, would it change how you perceive them or how you feel about them if you referred to them as patients and vice versa? | do you refer to someone in therapy as a "client" or a "patient"? | fvxqtv | i use "patient." for me , this is about respecting psychological suffering and also normalizing the use of mental health services. also , i have worked in impatient settings , and with spmi clients who are quite literally patients, even outside our relationships. i would feel different if i was working with outpatient folks to spice up marriage, or other similar populations. my patients, though are definitely patients. | askatherapist | fvxqtv |
i'm 27 (f) and for as long as i can remember i've had the most vivid dreams/nightmares. they are so real that throughout the day i have realistic flashbacks that provoke so much anxiety/feelings of dread. sometimes they are typical nightmares, but other times they are dreams about nothing important at all, and yet they always make me feel shitty. random people from my past always seem to resurface in them as well, which also makes me sad and anxious, as i feel like i can never fully let anything or anyone go. does anyone else suffer with this? any suggestions? i do go to therapy and i am on zoloft. | what are some suggestions for dealing with night terrors/nightmares as an adult? | 5klllf | are they flashbacks of actual events that you find traumatic? | askdocs | 5klllf |
i've had two now where i'll be walking around in a dream, sipping on alcohol and then suddenly realize what i'm doing, freak out, wonder if i have to reset my badge because i mindlessly took a few sips of booze because i forgot i decided to quit drinking. happened this morning and i woke up in a cold sweat. | anyone else have dreams of accidentally drinking? | 1i0i20 | many times, i've dreamt of relapse and woken up terrified. i think the reaction we have to it is a good indicator of where we are with sobriety though. | stopdrinking | 1i0i20 |
i know that we shouldn’t kiss. but i didn’t ask my doctor about that. so here goes. | [29m] is it safe to go down on my girlfriend while i have bronchitis? | cxzpy0 | if her vagina coughs, seek medical help asap. | askdocs | cxzpy0 |
i found out my aunt has cancer in her throat and it is inoperable. after watching a patient choke and lose consciousness/almost die. she was purple and gasping like a fish out of water. i know what to expect and it freaks me out to think of my family like that. i bought some wine on the way home from work. i'm not sure how to handle the thought of my aunt dying like that. | i'm not doing too well. anyone here work in the medical field? possible nsfw. | 1jeir1 | be there for your family and do it sober. in my experience nothing was better for me than being there for the people i love while we went through a loss. | stopdrinking | 1jeir1 |
when i was a kid, i used to read so much, and i loved it. now, the idea of picking up a book brings me physical pain and if i do, i can’t concentrate for the life of me... i think it might be an adhd thing but i’m not sure... does anyone have any tips on how to start reading again? thx | how do i read again? | khdznp | i relate so much to this. i read so much as a kid and even into adulthood that being “a reader” was a part of my identity. i barely ever read anymore since getting a smartphone in 2011ish or whenever the fuck and it feels like a real loss to me, but i can’t bring myself to do it most of the time. | adhd | khdznp |
tl;dr: trying to figure out at what threshold i should give up and call crisis line based on what's been happening recently. thanks! long story: i am 31, had depression and thoughts of suicide for 18 years. in the past month things have been escalating quickly and more intense than normal. so in the past month the impulse for suicide occurs every 5-7 days and is becoming harder to resist. i do have solid plans in place, i have a list of my friends to contact, how to contact them what to say to each of them, etc. as well method of suicide ensures no survival, but has been that way for years just recently the impulses point towards me skydiving off my 8th floor balcony which isn't my "norm". ontop of this, self harm impulses and thoughts have been reoccuring at an alarming rate (few times an hour during my waking hours to the point of obsession), and hasn't been part of my normal pattern for the past 18 years or so, and is to the point i will act on these soon just to make them stop. but where would this stop? i act on the self harm and have some scars i'll live with for the rest of my life then my mind moves onto suicide and doesn't stop until i'm dead? i have seen a psychologist when this started getting bad, who immediately referred me to a therapist because "i wasn't bad enough" (not an exact quote just the feeling i got). therapy made me felt worse. nobody seemed to care unless i made a suicide attempt to already have a number of scars from self harm. even thought i told them if i am going to make a suicide attempt, i will not survive. failing a suicide attempt would devastate me. i would never be able to look my friends and family in the eyes again. i had to be talked out of suicide 3 years ago by a friend as i was sitting there about to take my own life, and have been fine for the past few years. nothing major has changed, no new stresses beyond work. friend of mine has been having some mental health issues which may have triggered back on myself as i seem to be a lot worse off, yet she is on meds she has a good therapist and she is in recovery and i am getting worse. i live alone due to a number of issues with roommates in the past, i am holding down a steady job at this time, more or less because i force myself to but concentrating is becoming more and more difficult. the reason for posting this after browsing the sub for over a month, is the major concern it's christmas which is a wonderful time of year, but my friends are all going to be busy and talking to people is the only thing that has kept me stable. i can push things aside for the duration of talking to people, but once i am alone i fall back into myself. work has helped to keep me stable for 8 hours a day, but i will also be off for 8 days in a row as of tomorrow which is going to be hard to resist the self harm urge. so yeah can anyone define the threshold where i should call for help? i am just trying to get a good definition so i don't feel like i am wasting resources or get told i'm not "bad" enough, until it is too late and i am sending my list of contacts to my rl buddy with an apology. thanks for reading the wall of text! any comments would be appreciated. | can someone put a threshold for "in crisis" for me? | 3y1jtg | i would recommend therapy and medication. | mentalhealth | 3y1jtg |
i've been married to my husband for three months and i'm already thinking about divorce. he comes from extreme poverty and my family was somewhat wealthy. he has more education than i do and is brilliant. however, he is severely lacking in social skills and general common sense manners. i had to teach him how to hold a fork and knife, how to chew with his mouth closed, and how to use a napkin (he often leaves food on his face when he's eating.) he does disgusting things like brush his teeth in the kitchen sink and clip toenails on the kitchen table. he puts his shoes on the kitchen counter and leaves disgusting messes in the bathroom. i had to teach him how to use bed sheets. he had no idea that he was supposed to use sheets on a bed. i can't take him anywhere social, because he is so embarrassing. especially not with my co-workers. i feel like he is a good husband, but i'm starting to feel more like his mother than his wife, and we've stopped having sex. i did live with him with 8 months before we married but i had no idea it would be this bad. i just want to have a meal with a man who i don't have to tell to blow his nose because it's running, or show how to use a fork, or tell not to announce that he's going to the bathroom at the dinner table. i'm thinking about cheating. should i get a divorce? | i'm on the verge of divorcing[32/f] my new husband [40/m] | 7is5l6 | you need to have a seriously open and honest talk with him. remember, there is an important difference between criticisms and complaints. one is about the things that make up who a person is, the other is about that person's behavior. one is more stable and unchangeable, while the other is more malleable and adjustable. | relationship_advice | 7is5l6 |
i ran out of time to finish my presents so i just shoved all my supplies into my suitcase and figured i’d stay up late and dole out presents in the wee hours of the morning. somehow i managed to mis-pack so many things. also i just brought weird things, so that was super helpful. so i set off like...all the things? all the things i saw at least, so, there are likely more that i didn’t set off and i’m happy to remain ignorant in that regard. - i tried to trim my cats claws, and she clawed me, deftly demonstrating the reason i was trying to trim them. they were healing okayish for while. unfortunately, i’m allergic to wool but it’s been cold so i sleep with a wool blanket sandwiches between two other blankets. - apparently in the night i stuck my raw scratched up arm under the wool one so it was horribly swollen and itchy and terrible so i ended up slathering it in ointment and wrapping an ace bandage around it and securing it with the metal clips. - the clips set off the metal detector, and then when they saw it was a bandage, they had to go get a supervisor to come oversee them: swabbing my hands twice, swabbing the bandage twice, running the metal detector over it, and then patting it down while apologizing while i profusely apologized to them. (it took them awhiiiile to find a free supervisor.) once i cleared that, i thought i was home free! but now we get to my suitcase. - i’ve been meaning to finish pouring these candles for weeks, and thought i’d have spare time at work today but then it ended up being super busy, so when i got home i just shoved all my candlemaking supplies in my luggage. this includes: - bricks of wax in plastic baggies - plastic baggies full of solid and powdered candle dyes - powdered candle wax - a bag of beeswax pellets which apparently all look bad in the scanner. opening my suitcase and actually looking at the items did not seem to clear up any confusion until i explained what it was all for. my traditional adhd organization was perfectly incomprehensible to everyone else, as is standard. (who doesnt stuff their socks full of glass candle jars????) and then. i thought i was free and clear, there weren’t any more bags to go through except my purse and a bag of mcdonald’s. (i forgot to eat and my roommate got me food before dropping me off at the airport) but they had to also check my bag of mcdonald’s. 😩 at least i’m through and still on time for my flight though! i’m glad i gave myself a 3 hour buffer because i used up 1 on being adhd and late, and then the second went to tsa business. i had to lie to my work about the timing of the flight because they thought an ~hour~ buffer along with driving time would be fine. definitely not. but i did it! and now i’m finally drinking a glass of wine and waiting to get up in the air. | tsa had to go through my luggage because i’m too adhd for travel | a9bch1 | tl;dr: commiserating by sharing a couple airport horror stories 😂 omg you poor thing. tsa and customs give me nightmares and i’m basically a dripping puddle of anxiety in the airport under the best of circumstances. last december when i was flying i grabbed my husband’s duffel bag to throw my shit in last minute because you know how it goes and it turns out the last time it was used was for his buddy’s wedding. his buddy who is a gun nut. and whose grandmother made custom boutonnières for the groomsmen which featured a large gold shell casing. which was in the bottom of the duffel bag since i didn’t go through it before packing it. the tsa agent pulled it out and said “...is that a bullet?” the horrifying knowledge hit me all at once but i tried to play dumb (my literal response: “um..........it’s a boutonnière”). a supervisor had to be called, it was examined and determined it was okay since it was empty. they gave it back to me and told me sternly i shouldn’t bring it back through again and i was like “can you please dispose of it for me, sir? because i never want to see it again.” my dad who almost certainly has adhd absentmindedly put a steak knife in the side pocket of his duffel bag and then tried to make it through tsa the next day, having forgotten about the knife. incredibly they ended up letting him through. 😂 sorry this got long! the airport is a fucking nightmare and i fucking hate it and wished to commiserate with you. sounds like you had nerves of steel and earned your wine. cheers! | adhd | a9bch1 |
i smoked all day for maybe 4 months. how long until i am "normal" again? | how long until i am normal again? | 6bcqaa | you will never be "normal" again, because you are normal now. you've always been normal. introducing a habit like that into your routine and body chemistry has altered you, probably about the same as the first time you ate a banana, or listened to a band you liked. it will always be there, but it doesn't have to be as prominent any more | leaves | 6bcqaa |
so i'm a 20 year old guy, who only really started to do the whole talking to girls thing a year ago. since then, there's been 4 girls i've been on dates with and interacted with a lot. first never progressed past first date, second was very close with, third fizzled out because ldr and the 4th is currently going on, a girl who i've been friends with for quite a while now, and only started dating 3 weeks ago. one thing they all have in common is that i get far too invested, far too fast. this isn't to say i profess my undying love for them on the first date; i keep it to myself. but after i've spent a lot of time with them, having fun, i find myself not enjoying my own life when i'm alone. all of my normal hobbies lose their lustre for me, and i just end up counting down the days until i can see her again. this inevitably leads to me being more keen to see her than she is to see me, which then leads to me doubting that she is even interested in the first place, because i'm the one chasing after her (i have problems with cognitive distortions like that, which i'm also trying to deal with). this just makes me stressed and depressed and makes me feel like a loser who doesn't deserve her because i don't have half as many friends or as busy a life. this is currently happening with my current girlfriend. is it normal to feel this, maybe not as extreme as i have? is this something everyone has, and you just have to ignore it? if not, what are good ways of dealing with it? [tl:dr] anxiety making early relationship torture, is it normal? if not how do i deal with it? | my anxiety [20/m] making early relationship torture, is it normal? if not how do i deal with it? | 66pxk6 | these are self esteem issues. i would see a therapist | relationship_advice | 66pxk6 |
hello guys, i'm not technically diagnosed yet (going in to meet with a therapist next week) but one thing i've noticed as i've gotten older is that socialization has gotten more and more challenging for me. i've always been overwhelmed by parties and big get togethers where there are tons of conversations and noises, but especially in the last few years, i find myself actively avoiding even gatherings with super close friends if it isn't a very small gathering. when i go to a party-type situation, let's say a big bonfire, i just get bombarded by everything going on. i can barely listen to one person, even if they are right in front of me talking directly to me. i end up just feeling exhausted and drained, even if i'm only there for a short amount of time. my solution (something i noticed i used to do even as a kid) is generally to try to just tune everything out, retreating into the house and finding the smallest/quietest area where i still appear to be social so i don't just make everyone think i am disinterested. just curious if this is something anyone else can relate to. | socializing causing sensory overload and your experiences with it. | 627z0j | you are definitely not alone. i have struggled with similar situations and i work with people for my job. it is difficult for me to track a conversation and summarize what the most important parts are. it is like i hear their words but cant always determine the context. i have learned to just "stay present" even if i am confused and realize that it is okay. afterwards though i also feel very exhausted! | adhd | 627z0j |
my aging dad lives independently, is healthy, and hasn't shown any cognitive issues aside from some minor memory things, which likely go along with aging. 10 days ago he was found in delirium in the hallway of his apartment complex, unable to open his door and not making sense. he was brought to hospital, where the delirium remained for about 3 days. every test has been run, and there is yet no answer as to why this happened. urinalysis, blood test, chest x-ray, ct, and contrast mri all came back clear, except for a small spot on his lungs, which they later believed to be early pneumonia. iv antibiotics, fluids, and oxygen cleared that up as well as balanced his electrolytes, yet his still remains partially delusional. he has been on haldol for most of this time, which lessened the agitation, but left him very flat. he was taken off haldol yesterday, and i noticed an increase in the strange things he was saying (delusions: connections between things and patterns that don't make sense). there just seems to be no answer as to why this happened or what is wrong. i do know that prior to him being found in the hallway, he had not eaten, drank, or slept for around 24 hours. here is the required information. any help is so appreciated. ​ age: 80 sex: male height: 5'6' weight: \~145 lbs race: caucasian duration of complaint: 10 days existing medical issues: high blood pressure, sleep apnea current meds: blood pressure regulation, uses a cpap machine for sleep | sudden delirium followed by persistent delusion in my previously healthy aging father. | ajqlyf | sometimes it can take weeks for delirium to fully resolve, and it's not always obvious what the trigger was. it could have been a self-limited infection that did it, but the answer may never be clear. still, with more time most people return to how they were prior. | askdocs | ajqlyf |
i’m pretty hard on myself. i think a lot of us in this community have that in common. when i drink i’m able to press pause. to be ok with doing nothing. to be ok with eating whatever i want to eat. letting my house and yard go unkept. not preparing for work the next day. sober i plan out my day. go to the gym whether i want to or not. follow an eating plan. clean house. grocery shop. tend to the yard. it’s easier just to come home from work and get hammered. nothing gets done. but it’s easier. with that said, my life is also emptier with alcohol in it. my confidence is gone. my strength is gone. my worth is gone. i’m standing still and going nowhere. as empty as the bottles i drink from. life isn’t easy. life is full time. it’s wonderful and sometimes horrible. it’s fun at times and hard work at times. life is full. and it will fulfill you. and that shouldn’t come easy. | did drinking make my life easier? kind of. | 96uqtk | great post indeed...life is fulltime. good luck. iwndwyt | stopdrinking | 96uqtk |
help please i have an autoimmune disorder ( iga nephropathy ). i just purged and with the brown disgusting stuff some of my medicine came out. they are bright white tables so the were easy to spot. i take some other medications that are dark green and brown, so i don’t know if they came out or not. i’m really scared. i don’t know what to do. should i take another dose ? i have no one to talk to or get advice right now. please help. i’m so sorry for my english it’s not my first language. | i purged and some of my kidney medication came out what should i do | i0gq84 | you call the doctor who prescribed it, let them know how much time passed between you taking the medication and the purging, and they will let you know if you need to take it again or it’s been absorbed and you can wait for your next dose or if it’s one of those medications that you absolutely should not take again | bulimia | i0gq84 |
a back story to explain my life situation: i was in an abusive (physical & emotional) marriage that lasted 16 years. he hadn't touched me amorously in 7 yrs and said i disgusted him. i finally found the courage to grab myself and 7 year old daughter and get out. 3 years on we're still in court litigation, but that's not what this story is about. one year after i left, i'd decided i was done moping about locked at home with no social life, so i started going out & making new friends. i met an old flame (we dated when i was a teen) and he was also going through a divorce. we enjoyed reminiscing old times & soon we became very close and agreed to start a relationship. he was my "first" after 8 years of no sex. to make a long story short, we were together for one year, during which he would say "i want to be with you, i'm just not sure i'm ready to be in a relationship" and we'd take a week or so apart, after which he would call me back because he missed me. after one year of pushmepullyou, i discovered he was taking this "alone time" because he was seeing someone else. i loved him dearly, and what he did hurt me more than anything i had endured in my marriage. i spent two weeks at home in a drunk stupor trying to numb the pain i was in. my stepmother knew i was in a bad place and she grabbed me by the hair and took me to her restaurant to help out because she was short staffed. it was her way of telling me "pull up your socks!" and i'm happy she did this because i was finally able to (barely) function again. this is where my story starts: after a few days at the restaurant, i made friends with a regular patron. he used to come in alone for a beer after work and we'd have a chat. he was very good looking but i had no interest since i was still nursing a broken heart. one evening he told me he really likes me and would i like to go out with him? he was very "touchy-feely" and i immediately pegged him as a casanova! after a few attempts of him asking me out and me saying no thanks, i threw caution to the wind and agreed to go out with him. i knew what the evening would lead to but i also reasoned with myself that i needed (pls excuse my brassness) a "good bang" to help get over my heartache, like rebound sex if you will. it turned out to be a very good night, but i was not ready to start a relationship and i told him this. we met up almost daily and he would send me the sweetest texts, telling me he's never met a woman like me, and he really wants to take me seriously. he had told me that yes he was a casanova, but being with faceless women just for sex was making him feel cheap amd empty inside. he told me he was past the age of sleeping around, and he wished he would find love again (he had divorced 6 years before & has a son my daughter's age). after about a month, he asked to take our relationship a step further, he wanted monogamy (neither of us was sleeping with anyone else anyway) and he wanted to explore what we could have. i found myself slowly falling for him & within 2 months he moved in with me. it was magical! we were so in tune with each other, we both wanted the same things in life etc, so my rebound had turned into mr right! he introduced me to his family and all his friends (something he'd never done with any woman since his divorce) and things were getting better by the day. we'd have amazing sex 2-3 times a day (i could tell he was a bit of a sex maniac, but after 8 years of nothing, so was i!!). he told me he's never been happier, that our love was truly a gift from god (he had suffered a lot of emotional abuse from his ex) and he wouldn't change anything in our relationship as it was perfect. the only drawback was that he was crazy jealous. everytime someone would send me a text message, he was convinced it was another man flirting with me! one thing about me, i am crazy loyal! in the 7 years my ex husband did not touch me, i could have very easily seeked comfort elsewhere, but i promised to be faithful, and i was! so anyway, one time i had cleaned my car and put the passenger seat back up after wiping it. he was convinced i had sex in my car because the seat was not in the same position he'd left it! omg! personally, i secretly liked his jealousy. he never made scenes or shouted, but i could tell he felt insecure and after placating him, i always took this jealousy with a pinch of salt. however about a month ago i started to notice he always kept his phone in his pocket or slept with it under his pillow. i didn't think much of it, i thought maybe he kept it close so he could immediately answer if his son texts him (his son lives with his ex in another country), but he was also angling his phone when messaging so i would not see. i bided my time, waiting for the opportunity when i could snoop. 3 days ago i swiped his phone before he went to work (he left without it, thinking he'd misplaced it or something) and i snooped. i wish i hadn't. he had a profile (under a different name but with his profile pic) on a prominent dating app & had been for the past 2/3 months sexting numerous women, with lewd photos and all!! i had the time to look through them all, he had even messaged on my birthday (how?? if he had taken leave from work to spend the whole day with me?!?). i was disgusted. i spent the day vomiting and could not even cry with the shock i had. here i was again facing the same heartbreak i had with my previous ex! not again! hadn't i suffered enough in my life? when could i finally ever be happy?! i confronted him, told him to pack his bags and leave. he broke down. he cried, begged. i asked him explain why, we had everything, why would he do something so despicable?? he swore he never touched another woman since he's been with me (this i can vouch for because he is paid by the hour at work and i handle finances at home so i see his pay cheques - he also doesn't like "boys night out" and we've only ever been out together). he told me he cannot explain why he did it, he has no idea. he told me it was a joke to him, all the women he messaged were nowhere within my league (yes i realized!) but he has no explanation as to why he did it. i asked him: me - are you bored with me? him - no! you're crazy! every day with you is exciting and you know i run home after work just to see your smile when you greet me (true) me - are you addicted to sex? him - only with you, i swear my hands are clean, i can look you in the eyes and be safe in the knowledge that i never touched another woman - but with you i just have to look at you and i'm rearing to go, i never felt like this with anyone else in my life me - so why did you do it? why would you hurt me and disrespect me like that? him - i don't know, i can't understand it myself and i know it was stupid he tried to hug me but i pushed him away. i told him i could not touch him knowing he had sent pictures to other women as his soldier stood to full attention, i was disgusted! i locked myself in our room and didn't come out till the next morning. when i saw him in the morning i was speechless... his hair had turned white overnight!! whereas before he had maybe 15-20% white, it had turned 50-60% overnight! i thought it was a myth that people's hair turned white within hours, that it only happened in movies, and i swear i've never seen anything like it in my life. i didn't let him know about this, i doubt he realized it himself, but after he begged and pleaded to please hear him out before i dump him, i agreed to sit down and talk. he told me he takes full responsibility for his actions, he takes full responsibility for the pain he put me through, told me he himself was in pain but he could not even imagine that me being the victim of his betrayal how much more pain i was in, told me he wouldn't want to be in my shoes right now. told me he's never loved anyone more than me, we finish each other's sentences, we do everything together, we make the most out of each day we are together, he wouldn't change a single thing in our relationship because it was perfect as it was and getting better each time. i told him so why if this is how you feel, why would you jeopardise it all for a few cheap thrills?? he couldn't explain why, told me he wasn't even turned on by the chats (really?? so how/why the pics?!) and it was the stupidest thing he ever did in his life & if he had to lose me over his stupidity he wouldn't know how to carry on. he told me had a massive shock and wake-up call after this and could not imagine his life without me. bottom line is i forgave him with an ultimatum - if he ever hurts me again i will not even utter a word, he will find his packed bags outside the door without explanation. i told him don't expect me to run back into your arms, you need to earn my trust again. he told me it was his responsibility to make things right and he would bring my smile back no matter what. that was the story. now my views. the fact that he couldn't explain why he did it is worrying me. i'm quite a practical person & i like questions to have answers. for example, if he told me he was bored with our sex, i'd tell him fine, let's spice things up. if he told me he started chats when getting drunk only, i'd say fine, lay off the beer! but the fact that he has no explanation is driving me nuts. i only have 2 probable answers: 1) he has a problem with sex addiction. however, if this were the case, he'd be watching porn daily (he doesn't as we watch porn together about twice a week) and he'd be physically and actively seeking other partners (going to bars etc, which he doesn't) 2) he has self-esteem issues and seeks validation elsewhere. this is a more probable cause, however i compliment him regularly on his mind, body & soul (not to butter him up but because i genuinely was proud of him). although i would like to move on from this experience & not keep flogging a dead horse, i still feel the need for an explanation (which he cannot seem to give me) as i believe it will greatly help me with regaining trust in him. another thing that worries me is how he said he cannot be horny for other women because he loves me so much, yet pictures showed otherwise! i seem to be verging more towards the sex-addiction theory but i don't know, i'm so confused. what are your thoughts? please ask me anything i will be happy to reply. ps: we've been together just under one year | confused about regaining trust after betrayal | 6818re | trust is an abstraction, it's a belief, a belief that someone will do the right thing, a belief that someone will always do what they say they'll do. when trust is broken one of three things can happen. you can slowly regain trust if someone proves to be consistent over time, or you can forgive, which is a kind of leap of faith...or you decide you can't get past it and it's over. the ability to trust, forgive, love....these are all such deeply profound, core aspects of being human. that's why it's so hard to generalize, so hard to create a magic bullet. it's just deeply personal. | relationship_advice | 6818re |
my wife, who is in her late twenties, possibly has an undiagnosed case of cerebral palsy. a few months ago we were helping my father in law(fil) digitize and file some papers he thought were important. we came across some paperwork stating my wife might have cp, these papers were dated around the time she was 8 years old. my fil and my wife don't recall any of this, let alone if there was a follow up with a specialist or anything of the sort. her mother, who was the one who managed all those things, passed a few years ago so there is no one to ask. we googled symptoms and suddenly some things in my wife's life made sense. i take with a healthy dose of skepticism as we are not medical professionals and have no actual way of knowing. with all this being said, i have a few questions. is there a danger to her health in he future if this remains undiagnosed? we were talking about trying for children in the near future, will a cp diagnosis complicate childbirth? is therapy and/or treatment viable at her age? where should she go first to start the steps to getting diagnosed? are there any free resources and/or helpful information that you can share or point me to? thank you for your help with this. tl;dr wife possibly has undiagnosed cp. questions, questions, questions. | undiagnosed cerebral palsy | 6qzv1v | hm, something isn't right here (obviously). might be cp but it could be other neurological disorders too. are the difficulties getting worse over time? whatever the case, she should definitely see a doc. | askdocs | 6qzv1v |
i understand that there are some basic needs that humans need to meet. we have emotional needs, and many of us achieve this through finding a significant other. however, for those of us who cannot do that, what other options are there to satisfy this part of the human condition? | how can one live a life without any romantic relationships and still be happy? | g1vgvu | if you think about all areas of self care, relationships are just one of many. of course romantic relationships are important , and there is nothing wrong with wanting one . at the same time, it is hard to have a good relationship if your relationship is the only thing that makes you happy . this goes for everyone, from people who feel perpetually alone , to people in long term relationships. work , hobbies , health, friends, interests , nature , travel, educational pursuits all contribute to who you are and what keeps you happy. | askatherapist | g1vgvu |
i’m a nanny for a 3 year old girl and her parents work from home. i pick her up from school at noon everyday and hang out with her until 6pm. when we get home i’ll usually get lunch for her and just sit with her while she eats and then she will go play in her room or nap or whatever she wants. her mom constantly comments on how thin i’m getting since i started taking adderall and my appetite has been curbed a little and i have lost weight. she says things like “i never see you eat anything! you can make food yknow?” i just don’t feel comfortable eating with people home. i don’t like the idea of her seeing what i bring from home and commenting on it or asking about it. they’re super rich and i eat frozen dinners or like white rice and broccoli or just generally bland stuff and i know they’ll make some sort of comment about it. i can’t eat their food bc they’re vietnamese and indian and i don’t know how to correctly prepare food for myself with what ingredients they keep in the house. i usually feel fine waiting until i get home or eating a small breakfast before but no matter how many times i tell them “it’s alright, i’m not starving myself” they’ll keep going. i have a very hard relationship with food. i go through cycles of binging and restricting and i’d rather not be reminded that other people can see a difference or notice my body/eating habits at all. | request: any tips for when boss comments on eating habits? | 8qhmls | carrot sticks and almonds are socioeconomically ambiguous. put them in a container so the non organic/fair trade/hand raised package doesn't feel shameful. i'm guessing that you are also just really self conscious about eating in front of anyone so it wouldn't help much to bring a snack except that if you have some crackers and carrots, then you can tell the mom that you have food for if you're hungry. | eatingdisorders | 8qhmls |
i was recently diagnosed with a severe vitamin d deficiency. i think it's because i cover up from head to toe year round due to my hirsutism. also heavily introverted so i'm indoors most of the time. i'm worried about my bone health. my back constantly aches and i've developed hump on the base of my neck. also i'm a two inches shorter this year. what does this all mean? | anyone here have a vitamin d deficiency? | 7h1oex | yeah, i was put on prescription vitamin d. i read up and found most overweight people have low levels because it just hangs out in the fat instead of doing the stuff out body needs it to. | pcos | 7h1oex |
as a child i had an innocent heart murmur and i would possibly like to enlist in the military. it hasn't been mentioned sense since i was a young child. i tried to check for it myself using an app on my phone. but i'm not a doctor. so did it just go away? | do heart murmurs go away? | 9dze4e | quite possibly. many children have "functional" or "benign flow" murmurs. in thin, healthy kids (and sometimes adults) the sound of blood being pumped through the heart is audible without any abnormalities. murmurs due to structural defects can sometimes go away, but that isn't necessarily an improvement. the important question here is what kind of murmur it was. if it was noticed, considered benign, and ignored it probably did go away, and even if it didn't i don't think the military would reject you for it. | askdocs | 9dze4e |
hey so not asking for myself but for my gf. shes 5'4 140ish pounds, hald filipina, half black. earlier today she was sucking on a cbd lollipop and i was next to her. i got startled by something (im very jumpy, i have anxiety) and jolted my arms up really hard. my hand accidentally struck the stick of the lollipop on its way up and because of the leverage her head got pushed and snapped back very violently and the lollipop brok in her mouth. she said she was fine but i have bad concussion anxiety so i was wondering what anyone thought and if this could be concussive force? | should i be worried about my girlfriend? | 8pcte5 | probably not. it sounds like you didn't actually hit her head directly. she could have a whiplash injury, but even that sounds unlikely. if she says she feels okay, you can probably believe her. | askdocs | 8pcte5 |
age: 26 height:6’6” weight: 226 this is kinda embarrassing but long story short, i have gotten a baseball stuck inside my anus and despite my best efforts, it won’t come out. im not sure exactly what to do and i’m deeply afraid of having to go to the hospital to get through this. what can i do to get this thing out? could i use a vacuum to try to suction it out, or would i have to go to the hospital? | baseball stuck in anus | dofwx6 | i think any useful commentary has been delivered and this can now be locked. | askdocs | dofwx6 |
i have had an on again off again relationship with my medication (setraline) for my ocd. i've taken it for about two weeks now and while i still get intrusive thoughts, the crippling fear and anxiety isn't there, which i guess is good. however, now that i don't worry when thinking these things, i think maybe i really am what i think because i don't have the anxiety. anybody else go through something like this? | pocd thoughts still there but not anxiety? | 5z6p2l | from WEBLINK "a common phenomena associated with therapeutic success is an experience i refer to as the "backdoor spike." a backdoor spike is the threat which emanates out of no longer experiencing anxiety in association with the ambiguous question. for most ocd sufferers, getting anxious is a bit of a reassurance that something is amiss. "how do i know that i have ocd and i'm not really gay? because the mere question makes me so anxious." therefore, when someone reaches their therapeutic goals and no longer experiences anxiety in association with the spike, the threat that the question might be real, without producing anxiety, becomes a whole new spike. in other words, patients then become anxious because they are no longer anxious. "i saw my roommate in his/her underwear the other day… oh my god… since i didn't experience any anxiety does that mean i looked because i was really interested?!?"" | ocd | 5z6p2l |
first time im ever writing on reddit but here it is... we had a huge fight, he doesn't like to talk about things that are bothering him, especially when they involve our relationship. that drives me crazy and its not healthy to me personally. in the beginning of our relationship we agreed to always talk about anything bothering us so we didn't have repeats of past relationships. that being said he hasn't held up to that.. we've been fine, love each other a lot and kiss goodbye every morning. we have sex pretty regular besides occasional too tired (on both ends) or not feeling well. our problem started after a night of drinking and i (during intoxicated naughty sex) said we should have a threesome with a girl where i could "play'. i honeslty didn't remember saying that the next day. he brought it up two days later kinda hinting that we should do it and feeling me out about it. i said it could be a possibility but let's put it on the back burner for now. i wasn't totally comfortable. next day i saw he posted an ad (dated the day after i had drunkenly said it) for it on reddit already without telling me. i was a little pissed but then a little turned on by it so we talked that night and we decided to start a profile on sls to feel some people out. i could see how consumed by it he was getting and it was making me a little uncomfortable. and i wasn't sure that we were ready or that i was ready<-- after i told him all that he said "okay that's fine" and didn't talk all night. i knew something was wrong. that's when i knew something was bothering him and he didn't talk about it. i basically had to pry it out of him and he told me he was bored. going to work, coming home, eating dinner, going to bed then repeating. how the hell is that different from my life or anyone else's life? how is a soft swap / threesome going to fix that????? im so saddened by this. i try to do everything i can for this man (he does things for me too) but to have him say that now all of a sudden he is bored because i wanna take it slow or wait on this threesome searching is really gut wrenching and hurtful to me. im scared that if we try it once that he may want repeats and that's not how i imagined my life, i don't want to be a swinger. im sorry i typed so much, but i need advice. i feel like this could be a deal breaker for us we were fine in and out of bed before this and now my head is spinning. i don't want to lose this. am i wrong?? is he wrong?? | [25/f] with a suddenly bored (25/m) boyfriend. dating for 3 years. live together for 1+yrs. | 2uzjul | did he complain of being bored before you put the brakes on the threesome? probably not. thing is, most of us are existentially "bored," that's why we do things to liven thing up (i.e. going on vacation, changing jobs, etc.). it sounds like your boyfriend liked the idea of branching out sexually and was disappointed when you sobered up and realized this would be a very slippery slope. i think the idea for many women is appealing as a turn on, but the real-life implications are too scary to actually go through with. it may be the kind of thing that you like to incorporate in your dirty talk, but don't want to actually do. if you can be honest with him about this, he might (or might not) be satisfied with the shared fantasy. you could also suggest spicing up things in the bedroom in ways other than bringing in another party. however, it's ultimately his decision if his feelings of boredom are too strong to ignore. you fight a losing battle if you get into a back and forth of you suggesting idea after idea and him rejecting each one. at the end of the day, you can't make yourself responsible for someone else's feelings (of boredom or happiness). | relationship_advice | 2uzjul |
hi friends. so i’m very recently discovering that i may have been misdiagnosed as adhd instead of ocd as a kid. it never even occurred to me until my cousin started openly talking about his struggle with ocd on social media & many of the things he described resonated with me on an extremely personal level. i’ve always thought of myself as simply adhd with a lot of weird superstitions. for instance, i have constant intrusive thoughts (largely sexual thoughts about others while i’m very happy in a relationship) & i am aware that they’re not truly a reflection of how i feel or what i want, but alas, i can’t make them go away. or i will get certain words and phrases stuck in my head (the other day, it was “kill two birds with one stone”) and it gets to the point where i want to smash my head against the wall just to make the words or phrases stop running through my mind on a loop for hours and hours. i tried looking up ocd after reading my cousin’s posts but it’s all professional doctor stuff & that’s not what i’m looking for. i’m curious about real symptoms people with ocd experience. not just the basic stuff you see on webmd, like compulsive hand washing, but the weirder symptoms that are unique to every individual that no one really talks about. i’m feeling super down right now bc for so long i’ve just felt such an unhealthy agitation with myself and how my brain works & the inability to make it stop and i hope maybe this can help me understand a little better what i may be experiencing. | help: undiscussed/unique ocd symptoms | hbjpuh | it’s pretty academic but you could look at something called the ybocs which is the gold standard in evaluating ocd symptoms of all types. it can give a good idea of the kind of things people suffer from with ocd behind just repetitive checking. the only thing it doesn’t capture well are mental compulsions. | ocd | hbjpuh |
i have been hospitalized several times for suicidal thoughts, but every time it was a therapist or cop/paramedic that decided i needed to go to the er. chronic suicidal thoughts is something i have learned to manage over the years but there are still times where i really feel out of control. during these times, i have a plan, the means, and i want to go through with the plan, but i'm not 100% sure if i'm going to go through with the plan. what is the best course of action in that case? hope the thoughts go away, call my psychiatrist after-hours office, or go to the er? how can i tell if the thoughts warrant telling someone else/ going to the er? | when should you go to the er for suicidal thoughts? | h7obbn | since you have been hospitalized before, you could start by reflecting on whether the hospitalizations were helpful and when they weren't. >during these times, i have a plan, the means, and i want to go through with the plan, but i'm not 100% sure if i'm going to go through with the plan. ok, you have self awareness of your process in the past. if you weren't 100%, where were you ? if you self harmed in other ways, where were you then? one strategy could be to say that at 80% sure (or whatever it is for you), you have been able to manage yourself, at 85% you needed help , and 86 was the strongest. then, you could use this to decide at what time you absolutely must get help to stay safe. | askatherapist | h7obbn |
hey doctors of reddit , i usually go to the bar every weekend and sometimes smoke when im drinking or if not im always surrounded by second hand smoke. upon waking up the next morning i usually have phelgm and was wondering if i can take an antihistamine to prevent this ? was prescribed antibiotics , antihistamines and nasal spray but stopped taking the antihistamines when my antibiotics were finished. m 20 years old 6 ft 1 170 pounds if that helps . | can i take prescribed antihistamines after infection is gone ? | 8d6zko | it won't protect you from the second hand smoke - which is causing the phlegm... | askdocs | 8d6zko |
for the automod: 37f 5'8 390lbs united states no meds or health issues i'm always hearing people say that panic attacks are not medically dangerous, and i understand that to a degree. panic attacks often feel like a heart attack even though it's not. but can't panic attacks *cause* heart attacks or other health issues? it feels like they could, due to the increased heart rate and blood pressure. so are they *really* not dangerous, or just not dangerous as long as you're in otherwise decent heart health? is the statement of "panic attacks are not dangerous" just implying that the panic itself isn't a medical concern? does a person with heart problems need to be more concerned about panic attacks? i hope i'm making this clear. thank you. | can someone explain to me what it means when it's stated that panic attacks are not dangerous? | f9xx38 | the person with the attacks is worried almost by definition. the treatment involves exposure with response prevention. one of the responses that should be prevented is seeking help with a percieved physical problem, that actually arises from the panic attack itself. &#x200b; given your age and "no meds or health issues", i find it safe to assume that you are not going to die from a heart attack any time soon. even though someone could theoretically have a heart attack while panicking. this confidence is what i hope you can feel. feel confident your body is strong and healthy, that will hopefully help in your recovery. | askdocs | f9xx38 |
i've suffered with ocd for as long as i remember (21 f now). recently though i feel like i've had times where i'm really suffering and other times where i'm okay and it's just the basic ocd things i can deal with. why exactly do i have periods of time (sometimes lasting days) where i feel the need to excessively do things like counting, touching things, etc.? nothing helps when i feel this way. the usual things i do like checking the stove a million times usually eases my mind a bit except these days when i have this overwhelming feeling of impending doom and that nothing i'm doing feels right. i've described this to people that its like wearing a wool sweater that's just a size to small. the uncomfortable feeling i have. why does this happen and how can i stop it? | why does my ocd sometimes have periods of time when it's worse? | 3dzqia | for me, my ocd has a cyclical nature. i will have episodes of intense obsession, which then starts to subside for whatever reason until it is triggered again. sometimes an event or stress triggers it, and sometimes it *seems* to come out of nowhere. managing stress and anxiety can be helpful in reducing the severity of these episodes, but i can assure you that they are quite normal. medication is one of the most effective tools along with regular erp and cbt therapy. | ocd | 3dzqia |
holy shit, i’ve been trying to stay of my phone for the last few days because the urges are getting real after day 115!! i haven’t looked at porn or jacked off, but i’ve been sneaking looks at suggestive photos.. dam it ive come too far for this! im not giving up! i’ve been too complacent lately, blowing off meditation and other habits, man, it’s time i take nofap up a notch. i’m gonna work harder than ever, exercise more, meditate longer, and gain control of my fucking life! who the hell’s with me??!! for those of you struggling, remember: pmo has never done anything for us but fuck up our lives! | fucking urges!!! | 8pfofp | you have to look at those photos like a “small” injection of heroin. the urge just gets stronger. find other way of feeding your needs if the old ones are falling off, spend money on audible and download a book, play basketball, fucking ask the next 8 girls you see on a coffee date! | nofap | 8pfofp |
i got spooked because someone i know had multiple organ failure and died at 35. i am 31 and i drink a good amount probably 4-5 beers a night and now i am scared to death. i feel fine and have always had excess energy my entire life. what are your thoughts? | is there a way to tell how much i've damage my organs from alcohol consumption over the years? | 58nzth | addiction psychiatrist here. most things have already been said - but you're not too late to turn it around. start cutting down your intake and you'll give your body the best chance to recover and your lifespan will definitely lengthen. seek help from gp or psychiatry if you are struggling in any way. [alcohol](WEBLINK) | askdocs | 58nzth |
i've never felt as sick to my stomach as i do right now. yesterday my best friend of almost a decade cut me out of her life...she didn't tell me why but i saw her post some statuses online (before she deleted me from her fb) which practically gave me the reason. she had discovered a bunch of posts i had written on a friendship forum last year, talking about the fact that i thought she was really flaky kept pushing me out, and i went into great detail about some personal stuff in her life that i now deeply regret. people were replying that she was bipolar and we started a discussion about it. i even made several posts on it over a few months because initially i didn't get the answers i wanted. in the end it turned out she was being flaky for personal reasons and now i feel so ashamed. i foolishly thought the forum was secure enough that no one would ever find it but all it takes is a quick google search to realise that isn't the case. i tried apologising to her, but it's too late. she's calling me a fake friend and thinks i'm obsessed with her. now i'm so upset ad embarrassed. not only have i lost my best friend, but also my dignity. how will i ever recover from this? all i want to do now is move town and start my life over. it honestly feels like i've just screwed up my life by revealing my true colours. i can't even delete the posts because the website doesn't allow it :( | lost my best friend because she discovered a bunch of posts i'd written about her online | 5vb85o | give her a week or 2 and check in | relationship_advice | 5vb85o |
it's all jumbled in my head so getting it down in writing will be difficult, i'll do my best. (edit: i'm 26 and he's 23 for info.) for a bit of background, i have been cheated on in all 3 of my serious relationships. each time i tried to make it work afterwards but it fell apart. i'm trying to save this 3rd one from falling apart but my mental health is massively suffering as a result. my current boyfriend (of 18 months) cheated. right at the start of the relationship, but i found out a year later. i was honestly so shocked because he has portrayed a quiet, geeky character to me and i was shocked to find he partied in thailand and slept with someone. he completely regrets it and having seen how upset it has made me has really devastated him too. the first two relationships, in hindsight, were just the kind of guys they were which is why i think i didn't really try so hard to make it work afterwards. but this one is the real deal. i really believe that (let's call him harry) made a huge mistake and it was out of character. i believe he's the one and we make a brilliant couple. up till june (when he confessed) we never argued, always discussed things in an adult manner on the rare occasion a disagreement came up, and just genuinely really enjoyed life together. since the confession i have been broken. i worked hard after the last two break ups and took a lot of time to myself to work on my trust issues and paranoia that came as a result of them. i really had come such a long way and i whole heartedly trusted harry, something i never thought i'd be able to do again. now that that trust has been shattered again (and i am working hard to build that back up!) i am finding him doing normal things really difficult not to get emotional over. i should note we are long distance (about 100miles) but we stay with each other almost every friday through to monday) i like to be told things that are going on in his life as they happen. it's hard for me knowing that he's living in a city with all the temptation in the world at his feet while i'm in the country just living a mundane life day-to-day. i didn't used to be like this but since the cheating i'd just like that bit of security to know i'm kept in the loop regarding what he's doing / who he's with. i don't think this is unreasonable in a long distance relationship (is it?) what is unreasonable; however, is that i react completely disproportionately when he tells me something slightly later than in "real time". example: on monday his friend asked if he and i would like to attend his leaving do (he's moving abroad) some time in october. he told me this last night. and i am ashamed to say it but i blew up. i got inexplicably angry that he had told me now as opposed to on monday when he found out. i completely know i'm in the wrong here but i just need to know how to stop this. the leaving do in itself gives me major anxiety (for reasons i can't even explain?) and the fact he told me 2 days later rather than on the day he found out. how the fuckkkk do i get over this? the initial reaction is the worst because it feels uncontrollable. i sob, i screamed into a pillow, i got angry at him, i accused him of keeping secrets from me. honestly i don't know why he's still with me and putting up with this but i'm thankful that he is, but i know something needs to change. something comes up every couple of days (examples: he has a late lecture that he tells me about (he's in med school), his friend from home is in town so they're going to get food to catch up, he's booked a boxing session at a time he doesn't normally go - all of these things cause me to go into meltdown! i don't know why because none of them are red flags or issues but it seems to be an instinctive and uncontrollable reaction. i'm able to recognise this now, the following day, because i've calmed down and seem to be in a more rational mindset (although i am still inexplicably worried about that stuff and very down about it all) but at the moment last night i couldn't think rationally). i'm aware i have huge self esteem issues and trust problems. honestly i've had quite a tough life in terms of having no family so i get that i have other issues that i probably take out on him too. and honestly he's an angel for putting up with me and wanting to make it work still despite all of this. we really are in love and i adore this man. i believe i will have these issues whoever i'm with and not that it's caused by him because i think it's who i've become as a person did to an accumulation of past experiences. i have had cbt before and it was helpful but never fully "fixed" me. i am aware it would probably be useful to try again but at this moment in time it's not an option (i have a job application in progress that forbids any mental health issues in order to pass the medical). i think it is a good thing that i'm insightful and i am aware there is a (major) problem but i just need help on 2 things: 1) stopping the initial, almost manic, reaction 2) learning to get over the anxiety and irrational thinking long term. thanks for reading, fully expect to get comments telling me i'm a nutter and should be locked up! tl;dr: i have major anxiety and trust issues that manifest in explosive behaviour and disproportionate reactions every couple of days at what should be non-issues. i need help to fix this or i'm going to end up destroying all my relationships in life. | probably less relationship advice and more life advice - i don't like who i've become in my relationship. anxiety & lashing out. | 72z2zs | have you tried ssri's for anxiety? | relationship_advice | 72z2zs |
25 male 250lbs 5' 10" caucasian other medications are prozac 40 mg/day i was prescribed hydroxyzine for anxiety. the goal is to just take the edge off to actually relax and not feel like i'm on edge all the time. doctor gave me 50mg tabs to get more bang for the buck on insurance. do the effect of hydroxyzine amplify with taking more? how much is a dangerous amount? i've taken 300 mg and not felt much is it worth asking the doctor for something else or just upping the dosage until the desired effect is achieved? thanks for any help and feedback! | hydroxyzine for anxiety, how much? | 8aes2t | standard dosing is 25-100mg. it's probably safe to exceed that by a bit, but if you're tripling up and feeling nothing, not even sleepy, it's probably not going to do much for you. | askdocs | 8aes2t |
age: 28m race: white height: 5'10"/5'11" (i'm honestly not sure) weight: 142 primary complaint: boyfriend will 'wake up' about 1 after after falling asleep and will start touching me and will eventually turn into having sex with me. duration: has been going on for almost 3 years, but when it happens varies. it could happen a couple of times a month to a couple of times a week existing medical issues: none doesn't smoke or drink or use drugs no medication, besides daily vitamins basically as the title and complain states, my boyfriend will have these 'episodes' where 30 minutes to 1 1/2 hours after we go to sleep, he will be in a somewhat of a trance and start 'playing' with me, which will usually end up with him having sex with me. he'll wake me up when he starts touching me, and i usually just let it happen because i like sex and it's not that big of a deal for me. boyfriend will not be aware of this until usually right before we start having sex, and then will be awake. but after we are done, he'll usually pass out very quickly. after these 'episodes' we will usually wake up pretty tired, just because it ruined our sleep. the problem is that the 'episodes' have happened last night and the night before. bf claims that it's because he wanted to start masturbating before going to sleep and wasn't able to, so the 'episode' happened. but sometimes, these 'episodes' will happen about 1-2 hours after we've already had sex. i know he is embarrassed and probably pretty tired of it happening. he is also scared that if he were to go on a trip with his guy-friends and he shares a bed, he's (rightfully) scared that these 'episodes' will happen with a guy friend and that's obviously not good. so, anyone have any ideas on how we can stop this or help it? do we have to go to a doctor or is this something that we have to live with? | boyfriend has sex with me in his sleep? | cwk41k | i don't think a doctor will be the smartest move. it is probably not a neurological or psychiatric disorder. if you want to talk to a professional, consider a sexologist. my guess is this is normal. to prevent sleep deprivation, go to bed earlier. if you don't want to have sex, say no and/or wake him. | askdocs | cwk41k |
i met this **amazing** girl in class. the first things i noticed about her is she's extremely sweet and approachable, and also has a really old fashioned way of dressing. she usually wears knee-length dresses or skirts and does her hair and make-up really nice no matter what day it is. we started talking because i noticed she had the fight club book in her bag, and didn't seem like someone who would like that stuff. turns out she's a huge cult movie fan and cool af, and that's how i ended up asking her to lunch. we've gone out a few times, nothing fancy, but the more i spend time with her the more i like her. she may look like some girl out of the 50's but she loves video games and open mics and all sorts of stuff i'm personally in to. here is where it starts to suck... we've been hanging out and going on dates for about a month and a half. i really want to date her, and i finally told her how i felt. she said she really likes me, but isn't girlfriend material. i was really confused and asked her why but she just made up an excuse to go home. i'm friends with one of her friends and asked why she might say that. her friend told me a little more than i needed to know, but basically the girl i like is a virgin and is embarrassed by that. i guess she had a very abusive boyfriend in high school, and dated a guy her freshman year of college that really pressured her to have sex before she was ready, taking advantage when she was drinking and telling her she wasn't a good girlfriend. because she's 20 and a virgin, her friend says she doesn't want another guy to "suffer" through her inexperience and past because she moves very slowly in relationships. i guess it took her four dates to even kiss her ex. i'm at a loss. i like this girl. she's amazing and smart and you'd never guess she had such a rough past. what should i do? i want to date her, but don't know how to tell her that being a virgin isn't as big of a deal as she thinks. **tl;dr:** girl i like says she can't date me because she's not "girlfriend material," her friend tells me she's a virgin and past boyfriends have taken advantage of that. girl is afraid i won't like her because of her inexperience but i want to tell her it isn't a big deal. | i want to date someone [20/f] but she doesn't want to because she's a virgin | 6dx9ss | her friend is gossiping. be cautious about relying on that information even if it's accurate description of this girl's history. just see if girl will hang out more. then see if she'll talk to you about what she meant. don't preempt her by talking about her virginity or your willingness to take it slow. | relationship_advice | 6dx9ss |
girlfriend cheated on me. then she dumps me for another guy. how fun !!!!! wish i had someone for me.... but nobody exists.. | great. | 5wzm7u | i'm so sorry you're going through that. relationships can be the fucking worst sometimes... | depression | 5wzm7u |
i’m confused about why adhd is a neurological disorder instead of just a set of extreme personality traits (notably low conscientiousness and high extroversion) that give rise to behavioral symptoms similar to that of adhd. i understand the predominant neurological description of adhd, which is, to oversimplify, that adhd brains have abnormally low quantities of dopamine in the prefrontal cortex hence reducing executive function and thus impulse control and focus. however, can’t that neurological model also describe someone with aforementioned personality traits? everything psychological is ultimately physiological, so, theoretically, brains of people who exhibit symptoms of adhd merely as a result of having a clusters of personality traits on the extreme tails of the distribution would also be neurologically different than what would be considered a normal brain. i also read a lot of arguments that adhd isn’t real because “everyone is distracted sometimes” and “everyone is impulsive sometimes”— essentially, that everyone has very mild symptoms of adhd— and the usual response is that for people with adhd, those symptoms are severe enough to significantly negatively impact your life, which is fair. but then it seems like they’re making the argument that adhd is just a more severe case of lower conscientiousness (and other personality traits that lead to those mild symptoms) and that doctors just diagnose adhd by seeing wether your regular personality traits of lower conscientiousness pass an arbitrary threshold of severity and then calling that adhd. as you can see, based on that logic, it seems like the difference between regular personality traits that lead to mild symptoms of adhd and actual adhd is just a matter of extent, which compels me to draw the conclusion that adhd is just a set of personality traits that are extreme enough to be called adhd— but that’s not a fundamental difference. i hope my question isn’t taken as disrespect. i know adhd is real; i’m really just trying to understand what the fundamental difference is. thanks in advance! | what is the fundamental difference between adhd and clusters of personality traits that result in similar symptoms? | aaz32t | let’s think about something like borderline personality disorder, which shares some similarities with adhd in terms of emotion regulation problems, impulsivity, etc. it’s thought to that bpd has biological underpinnings, but most people with this diagnosis have had traumatic experiences such as sexual abuse, as well as invalidating environments where their needs are not being appropriately met (e.g., parents do not listen when child expresses distress or worries in a calm way; child learns he must throw a huge tantrum in order to get parents’ assistance soothing. the pattern is reinforced and the child carries similar patterns of emotional reactivity into adulthood). the idea here is that many other disorders involve a greater interplay of nature and nurture than does adhd. certainly the nurture side of things impact a person with adhd and their level of symptoms, how they learn to manage their symptoms, etc. but a person with adhd will have adhd pretty much regardless of their experiences, while someone with a disorder like bpd develops that problem in large part in response to environment and experience. | adhd | aaz32t |
to preface this, i should mention that i used to be quite overweight. i am 5'3 and was borderline 200 lbs, and i carried most of my weight in my arms, stomach, and boobs. luckily i've been able to lose a lot of weight and have gone from a size d to a size b bra. everyone in my family always tells me how shocked and impressed they are with my weight loss, and i genuinely appreciate the compliments. however, every time my dad sees me, he scans me up and down before he says "you seriously have no boobs anymore." when this first started, i didn't think much of it and just laughed it off. fast forward months later, and this is still a pressing issue to him. every time he sees me, he just has to point out how huge my boobs used to be. i'm sick of this. i want to tell him to stop talking about my body like that because it makes me uncomfortable, but i just know he'll just take it super personal and not talk/acknowledge me for weeks if i say something. i'm also sure after he's done ignoring me, i'll just get endless comments along the lines of "oh sorry, i forget you're super sensitive and can't tell you anything without you getting mad." i don't know how i should handle this without making him upset. | my dad won't stop pointing out how small my boobs are | cvpqph | > i don't know how i should handle this without making him upset. he's making you upset. why are you putting his feelings above your own? don't your feelings deserve protection too? he's in the wrong. he should know that he is. if that upsets him, it's his problem, not yours. because what he is doing is wrong. i know that this is a tough time for you, because, well, its your dad. i'm sorry you have to be in the situation. but it's important, especially as your grow up into an adult, that you set and maintain boundaries. and he needs to know that it's not acceptable to cross that boundary. he will probably fight it. it will probably keep happening at least a few times. worst case scenario he doesn't change at all. this is no fault of your own, it's all on him. but he needs to know that that boundary is still there. if you don't keep setting it, if you don't keep reiterating that it is not ok to cross, the boundary will break down and that essentially saying that his behavior is ok. which its not. eventually, you'll have some form of independence and when he wonders why he's not close to you anymore, you'll have a clear answer. or, best case scenario, he finally stops and you might be able to rebuild a relationship. but please, for your sake, don't get up your own rights to live without being harassed, just so he feels better. | advice | cvpqph |
20/usa/m/ks would i feel if a tick stuck itself on me? im afraid of bugs kinda so im kinda freaking out, i've seen a lot of ticks around, would i be able to feel it? if a tick bites me would i feel it or would it be small enough that i wouldnt feel it? | would i be able to feel a tick attach itself to me? | 8ezf63 | you usually wouldn't feel it. that's how they manage to feed without immediately being pried off. that's also why in areas with ticks and during tick season it's important to visually check after spending time outdoors, especially in areas that are likely to bring you in contact with high grass or near other good tick spots. | askdocs | 8ezf63 |
hello!!!… so, my younger sister and i have not been in contact with our older sister because she stole $5000 from her. we also don't talk to her because her boyfriend is a terrible person (he hit on my younger sister, our cousin, and influenced my older sister to steal the money from younger sister). she never admitted to her wrong or apologized for it (because her terrible boyfriend advised against it). the older reached out to my younger sis and i (didn't seem genuine, but i don't really know) and so we are going to meet with her this weekend to clear the air. the advice i'm seeking is how to go about facilitating this conversation/meeting. any advice is welcomed and appreciated!!!!!!! tl;dr: my younger sister and i haven't had contact with my older sister in 5+ years (because she stole money from my younger sister) and are meeting with her this weekend. i want us to clear the air and give her a chance to apologize but don't really know how to facilitate the conversation. | sister drama. need advice! me [26f] and my younger sister [24f] haven't had contact with our older [28f] sister for 5+ years... | 6927hb | just talk, be natural. build relationships slowly. | relationship_advice | 6927hb |
troublemakers can be teachers, p. 28
few of us are any longer afraid of what any newcomer can do to our a.a. reputation or effectiveness. those who slip, those who panhandle, those who scandalize, those with mental twists, those who rebel at the program, those who trade on the a.a. reputation - all such persons seldom harm an a.a. group for long.
some of these have become our most respected and best loved. some have remained to try our patience, sober nevertheless. others have drifted away. we have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces, but rather as our teachers. they oblige us to cultivate patience, tolerance, and humility.
we finally see that they are only people sick like the rest of us, that we who condemn them are pharisees whose false righteousness does our group the deeper spiritual damage.
grapevine, august 1946 | as bill sees it, 11.13 | dvrd0j | bill could have included himself. few think he hurt the reputation of aa with his scandalous behavior. the 12 traditions are to thank for aa’s durability and persistence. he read widely and knew of the writing of peter kropotkin, the biologist who wrote extensively about mutual aid and how species succeed more on the basis of mutual aid than competition. although herbert spencer is quoted in the big book, kropotkin’s ideas are reflected in the traditions. when anyone says the big book is aa’s primary text, i disagree because aa would not exist without the 12 traditions. | alcoholicsanonymous | dvrd0j |
so it doesn't get deleted - 56m, 5'10, 175lbs, caucasian. u/poketheveil in specific as you were the responding physician - he did survive. he was released from the hospital today (so hospitalized for a total of five days) with a sodium level of 130. not perfectly where it needs to be but he checked himself out anyways. doctor said it got that low due to a combination of not eating properly and his blood pressure medication which has since been switched. he is still suffering from weakness but says he feels much better and has prescriptions/a loose diet plan now to regulate it. i appreciated your help, thank you. | update! dad hospitalized with 104 sodium level. | cj8hkl | thanks for the update, and i’m glad your dad is okay. because there’s not a question i’m going to close this but leave it up. | askdocs | cj8hkl |
found this quote on another sub. it belongs here on sd "behavior seems nearly unchangeable, but behavior is a just a word to describe "a series of individual conscious decisions, over time". at some point you stopped crapping your pants, but you take it for granted that something so ridiculous used to be a really tough choice. but you chose. and chose again. and at some point it just became... you. past choices predict the most likely future, not determine it. so would you rather attempt a big behavior change? or just one decision? change the behavior of "future-you". choose. this really had a profound affect on me this morning for some reason. | at some point you stopped crapping your pants, but you take it for granted that something so ridiculous used to be a really tough choice. | 46pzd2 | holy crap this is a great quote | stopdrinking | 46pzd2 |
ever since i've had a lot of my symptoms under control and am no longer suppressing my emotions, i've started to feel its more out of my control, especially my anger. i was very mild tempered before but now my anger is firey and i'm starting to hold grudges, whereas before i never did. anyone have methods of keeping ones emotions i'm check? | bursts of emotions | 71cw2y | to manage emotions, it is important to first acknowledge it in that moment and explore how the feeling occurred, especially with anger. emotional reactions come from 10% with what is actually happening and 90% from past experiences. something to try is asking yourself some questions during the inital moment of anger...simply fill in these sentences with your experience. **the anger started when.....(situation)** **how my body feels with this anger is....(body sensations)** **another time before when i felt this sensation was...(similar feeling and event)** this is not a quick fix but gives a constructive format that you can use in meditation. i also experience anger in situations and found that i hold grudges and have outbursts because i was letting it "stay-in" for so long while also expecting others to understand me. what was a mild annoyance eventually turned into a huge resentment. in fact just had one this past week! | adhd | 71cw2y |
about two months ago i met this girl online, i instantly fell in love with her and can't imagine a day not talking to her, the only obstacle is her depression. when she was younger something happened to her (won't go in depth as i don't feel it's my place to say) and ever since she's struggled with ptsd, insomnia, depression, the whole lot. she's told me that she struggles with relationship but it feels so much more like she struggles with just me, i want to be there for her as much as possible as i know it's hard for her. i just don't know how to go about it, any help appreciated. | girlfriend suffering with depression, how can i help her? | 70ta7k | i assume she has a therapist? | relationship_advice | 70ta7k |
my girlfriends and i are having a mom's night out tomorrow. we're going to an outdoor concert and there will be a bar there. my friends are normal drinkers and i am certainly not. instead of getting drunk and regretting it, i happily volunteered to drive everyone. it feels good to be that person for a change. | i volunteered to dd for the first time ever! | 95rnex | it does feel good. i've been driven around enough🙄. i now think i connect more with friends than ever, and get more from these times together. iwndwyt | stopdrinking | 95rnex |
i'm a 29 year old male weighting around 264lbs at 5'8''. i started having palpitations at night, mostly when lying down. a couple day laters, sudden hight blood pressure also came, it got as bad as 190/110 with 110 pulse. around this time, nausea also started appearing. i have been diagnosed with hypertension, then with high triglycerides, then gastritis, then hyperthyroidism, but so far all blood tests have come up with every single field in the normal range. thyrod profile also came back normal. last night, along with gastritis and blood pressure medicine, i took 1 sertraline, which i'm aware i should not have, but i'm desperate, in hopes of at least getting my nerves down, i don't know if this was the cause, but no symptom improved, and i also got this cold/burning sensation on my arms/shoulders/upper chest that came with strength when lying down. any idea is welcomed, i have gone with many doctors now and i'm still as lost as when this began. | been getting progressively worse, and i still don't have an accurate diagnosis, really desperate. | 54b1zz | ever had a (albeit annoying) 24hr bp monitor? also - do you feel anxious, generally? (ps. one dose of sertraline will do nothing for you - takes at least a fortnight to reasonably kick in). | askdocs | 54b1zz |
**tl;dr:** healthy non-diabetic 22 years old male, when doing water fasts i start feeling dizziness, nausea and limb weakness/numbness 24 hours in, and they all get progressively worse until i break the fast at the 30-40 hour mark with carbohydrates - breaking the fast (refeeding) with fats doesn't make me feel better, only carbohydrates do - sugary snacks eliminate my nausea in minutes. what could be causing this? **** age: 22 sex: male weight: 66kg height: 1.76m i am a healthy 22 year old male, with no background of chronic disease. 12-hour fasting glucose is 88mg/dl, as of 2 months ago, so i don't have diabetes. all other blood markers (immune cells, triglycerides, liver enzymes, hdl/ldl) are great for my age, according to my family physician. i have tried water fasting (eating nothing and only drinking water) multiple times recently, for health reasons. i'm not trying at all to lose weight, since i know my weight is fine. my intention was to do 3-5 days. however, around 24 hours into a fast, i start feeling quite sick - nausea, dizziness and limb weakness (arm weakness and cold legs feeling) set in. my arms get so weak that it becomes hard to type on a keyboard, even. my nausea and dizziness steadily increase after 24 hours, and they always gets so intense during 30-40 hours into the fast, that i just have to break the fast (i feel like i'd vomit otherwise). i've found that breaking the fast with fats doesn't help me at all, even after multiple hours. i have to eat carbohydrates to feel better. i also noticed a source of simple carbohydrates (honey/strawberry jelly) alleviates the symptoms much faster compared to complex carbohydrates (such as rice). with simple carbohydrates, my nausea can dissipate in just a few minutes, whereas with rice it can take 30 minutes. i usually break the fast in the 30-40 hour range because i feel so sick that i'm afraid i'll collapse and need hospitalization. my arm weakness and cold legs feeling particularly worry me. i eat a fat source first (butter/olive oil), still feel very bad for another 3-4 hours, then eat a sugary snack and am feeling better within 5 minutes. what could be causing this, and is it really dangerous? how can i solve this problem to safely fast in the future? | cannot tolerate water fasting over 30-40 hours (nausea, dizziness, limb weakness): why? | 997jw6 | that terrible feeling is probably around when you run out out of accessible stores of energy that can be made available as glucose and start running on stored fat via ketogenesis. you can survive that way, but humans aren't really built to run without an input of calories. it feels bad, and it's supposed to; it's your body's signal that it is starving and wants food. speculating here, but food with simple carbohydrates also give you a quicker boost to blood glucose, and low glucose is part of what that bad feeling is. fats don't provide glucose, just more ketones, so it's not surprising that they don't alleviate that feeling. whether ketosis is good for you is hotly debated, especially non-medically, and not my area of expertise. i don't think there's any way to avoid that feeling, though. evolutionarily it's a feature, not a bug, and likely hard-wired. | askdocs | 997jw6 |
a few years ago, i voluntarily checked myself into the local psych ward because i had severe depression and was starting to get pretty suicidal. this was a bad decision - the experience was bad enough that since then, i've fit most of the criteria for ptsd. so obviously my mental health has only gotten worse since then, but i'd be at best extremely anxious about seeking professional help for it. am i just screwed altogether, or are there other paths that i can take? thanks | is there any way to deal with severe mental health issues without going to a professional? | ecvv1o | severe depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation is likely too much to attempt to handle solely on your own or with self-help materials. it would be highly advisable to get a mental health professional involved. since you have had a bad experience in the past, it might be helpful to seek it out in a different location/area and to possibly use connections with medical professionals you do have a good relationship with, like a family doctor for example. they can help you ease into it. | mentalhealth | ecvv1o |
this is been bugging me for a while now and i really don't know what to think of it anymore. i have been with my girlfriend for over a year and a half now and living together for almost a full year. everyday i tell her she's beautiful and that i'm happy to have her in my life. the problem is that she still always says how i think she's ugly or that i only care about her body. if there's a 8 hour period where i happen to not mention she's beautiful then i'll hear about it and how that proves to her that i think she's ugly. i feel like i could be contributing to the problem because although i find her face beautiful i also find her body irresistible. when we're having a bath together i can't help but to take a look at her chest or butt and that offends her. or if i'm massaging her and i start focusing on her butt more then she'll be offended again. i've tried totally distancing myself from her sexually but then she'll start questioning me on if i like her body or say that i'm more attracted to other women. i don't know what to do, i just want her to understand and respect that fact that i think she's beautiful and sexy. am i doing something wrong or is this an insecurity issue? help | is my girlfriend [22/f] insecure or am i [22/m] doing something wrong? | 6ookdk | she is very insecure and needs to fix that...therapy perhaps | relationship_advice | 6ookdk |
he's seen the psychiatrist a few times now and just got to see the therapist for the first time and loves her. however the psychiatrist is meh. maybe i expect too much - this is my best friend and we look out for each other 100%. she agreed that he was on entirely the wrong meds for him (effexor) and switched it to prozac. he's been prescribed 1 mg 3x a day xanax for years and she immediately wanted him off that and tried to suggest multiple alternatives and keeps pushing it despite his explanation that that's nearly the only thing that helps and he's tried all the other alternatives she's suggested. i know she has to suggest alternatives to an addictive substance, but it's as if she's manipulating him into trying to get off it - saying that she thinks it's what's causing his anxiety (huh?), claiming it's probably interacting negatively with his antidepressant despite all kinds of evidence that that's just not how it works, suggesting buspar as an "alternative benzodiazapine to xanax" thinking he knows nothing about meds and doesn't know buspar isn't a benzo..? some weird feelings of "new" anxiety and ocd like tendencies followed him being introduced to prozac. he told her about it and she upped the prozac, repeatedly mentioning that the xanax is probably to blame for everything. she knows he smokes weed during times of extreme stress and that that's the only other thing that helps, and she always tries to get him to stop that. he told her this last time that it's something he'd be prescribed in and not her state (he had a medical marijuana prescription in a state in which its legal before he moved) and told her it's something that helps and it's his decision. she told him "well some decisions can hurt you, if you don't stop smoking weed i guess i'm gonna have to stop giving you xanax i guess, my decisions can either help or hurt you too". she told him she wanted to do genetic testing to determine whether or not "xanax doesn't work on him". he asked how genetic testing works and he replied "hah, science, don't worry about it." she just seems like an arrogant bitch on a power trip to me. there are limited available psychiatrists that work with his insurance and this is the one attached to the therapist he likes. is there something he can do in terms of switching psychiatrists whilst keeping his therapist? will his seeing the therapist and getting her opinion on his issues calm his psychiatrist down if they share information? we're both genuinely concerned because she seems to just pull prescription suggestions out of a hat, suggesting anything from buspar to prozac to risperidone to straterra to muscle relaxers to solve the same issues of bipolar disorder and anxiety. just rattling them off one after another. i'm concerned she's gonna make things worse. | issues with my friends new psychiatrist? | 9vmeko | let me preface this by saying i am a therapist and not a psychiatrist and am not able to give medical advice for who should and shouldn't take which medication. what i can tell you about psychopharm is that benzos like xanax are extremely habit forming. whenever a person stops taking them or is in between doses, they will experience withdrawal which will increase their anxiety substantially. if a person uses benzos for too long continuously, they will continue to build up a tolerance and need more and more to achieve the same effect. in a recent training i went to regarding psychopharm, the presenting psychiatrist stated that most psychiatrists who are up to date with their training and recent literature wouldn't think of prescribing a benzo for someone with anxiety with only two exceptions. they will prescribe benzos to folks with severe panic attacks to take as needed (think maybe once a week or less), or for folks who are older and so addicted that they may become suicidal without or that the withdrawal itself may cause medical issues. most recent studies have shown that ssri's and other anti-depressants (like prozac for one) are actually more efficacious in helping folks with anxiety than benzos. if your friend was taking that much xanax, that often, for a long period of time, it's fairly safe to assume they'll go through a pretty tough withdrawal from it. it's also fairly normal for a psychiatrist to refuse to prescribe a habit forming drug if there is a presence of any substance abuse or dependence. if your bud is smoking marijuana multiple times a week or every day, and especially if it's to cope with anxiety, i can't imagine any psychiatrist in their right mind who would also prescribe xanax. while i'm all for the nationwide legalization of marijuana, marijuana's daily use for coping with anxiety is a horrible long term solution. i don't know why the psychiatrist is suggesting all of the other medications. my best guess, is that any of those would be less dangerous than continually using xanax that way. | mentalhealth | 9vmeko |
let me start out by saying for some reason(s) (most likely plural) i just flat out suck at relationships. not necessarily staying in them or anything, but actually even having one to stay in. ill keep this short as possible so bare with me as i'm seriously the most tangential person i've ever met. any who, i guess i should preface this that i happen to be a pretty good looking girl. i'm straight, young 20s, have a great sense of humor and wit, am intelligent, i just seem to have a lot going for me while i do have a hard time believing this myself i definitely am validated often in this sense especially via social media and of course irl. in fact, i get a lot of attention but just not from the guys i want i guess. that could totally be the problem itself, dating men who aren't emotionally available, but i don't think thats the case with why i'm posting... i am a recovering addict and had 100+ days sober when this happened (a week ago, so its still pretty raw). but in sobriety, this isn't a lot of time and they say in the alcoholics anonymous meeting not to engage in relationships for the first year, but lets be real, i'm addicted to love affection and attention as if it were a drug itself. perhaps thats what has drove me to use in the first place. anyways, this is my first reddit post and it would be awesome to get some much needed advice.. i started seeing this guy, we'll call him p. we had been talking and got along great via social media. we eventually took it to the real world and had a great first "date" i guess. we shared a kiss and i was imeddiatly infatuated if i hadn't been already. i had had a crush on someone else but thought i would give this a go and i was so happy i did. we ended up hanging out for a week after that and spent almost everyday together and the chemistry was just natural and he shared the same humor as me. but when the weekend came along that we were supposed to hang out, he completely blew me off. i had texted him a couple times, nothing incessant, and he finally got back to me at night. he had said he didn't have his phone and that while his parents were away, his brother had come over and implied i guess i wasn't able to come over. this sounded totally reasonable but by the time i had gotten back to him (i was at a meeting and decided i shouldn't be so quick to respond as i was a bit sad that i hadn't heard from him). well, he never responded and it carried on to the next day. thats when i decided to say i'm sorry if i had done anything. that was in the afternoon, and i was so excited to finally see his name pop up on my screen when i was at the grocery store. but low and behold it wasn't too great. this is where i should put in a little more details.... he had dated my aa sponsor awhile back, but almost a year ago they had broken up. i was totally conflicted by this but wasn't going to take any necessary steps to talk to my sponsor about it. after all, i had been working on getting a new one as i needed someone with more time plus other things that don't really matter. his text said that i didn't do anything wrong but that he didn't think it was fair to my sponsor and my's relationship. i usually am able to pretend i understand and calm myself before reply but i had just went through a pretty traumatic weekend with my sister and ill leave it at that. i went off a bit and was a total b**** but ended up apologizing the next day and then the next again because i wasn't sur ehe got my text. i just don't get how it was so easy to write me off. being sober you realize how much more you feel things and it stung quite a bit, but like i said this wasn't anything new as i was usually the one heartbroken at the end of things. it totally broke me, not even going to lie. thankfully i did semi get over it pretty quick but being the tangential person i am, i cant help but over analyze the situation and want to know if it was something else rather than just my sponsor being in the picture beforehand bc like i said, i've been working on getting a new sponsor. she's a great person but it just not the right fit anymore (again, among other thing). i wish he would have thought of that before, if that really was the case, because little does he know that the relationship with my sponsor and i had already been affected the minute he went in for the first kiss. trust me, i am not one to point the finger as i am completely aware it takes two to tango. i have to admit sometimes i do get carried away and wonder if i had crossed the line into overly weird with my jokes? of course thats hard for the people of reddit to witness but i don't know. i'm just wondering if anyone could think of why men all of a sudden disappear. its important to know he's in his late twenties, a couple years older than me, so i would assume he would have handled it a little better rather than blowing me off, etc. if someone could help me out, if i'm not completely hopeless, that would be great. if not, i don't know, it was worth a try. id be happy to answer any questions and fill in some of the blanks but i don't want to spend too much time on this as it could probably be of no use. i cant make anyone like me. my mom said to just focus on myself and work on getting a new sponsor and see if perhaps he comes back. i really do like him and it just sucks honestly. i just hate feeling unwanted and worthless and one of my first traumas was finding out i was adopted. its hard to emp[athize with unless you've been through it yourself but yeah, i don't do well with abandonment/rejection internally and hate that i let my guard down and went off on him. i wonder if i scared him away. i'm struggling working on myself and staying sober and while i know i shouldn't be worried about this, maybe i could find some solace and like i said, hopefully find some helpful advice. thank you for reading this far! xx ps. i never had sex with him, and this did not seem like an issue whatsoever as he definitely wasn't some man wh***. and again, it hadn't been that long that we've been hanging out. id say in total, us talking and hanging, it was about three weeks. i guess thats not enough time to feel this way but i'm not looking to be invalidated. i'm 23 by the way i just realized i should say this and he's 27. thanks again! | whats wrong with me? suck at keeping guys around. | 71vazq | listen to yourself: you’re addicted to these relationships. get your sobriety in order. until you do, it’ll be nothing but shitshows. | relationship_advice | 71vazq |
if not what is the proper term? | does the term separation anxiety only apply in the act of being separated or is that term still apply when the child has been away from a parent and having anxiety and sadness after some time has passed. | ab3xw9 | separation anxiety (the official disorder) does not require that the disturbance is only experienced during the act of separation. it could also be after some time has passed, as long as the anxiety is about being away from attachment figures. | askatherapist | ab3xw9 |
i have been with my current gf for almost 6 months. we have broke up twice in that time because i had and still have feelings for my ex. each time we broke up nothing came from the contact i had with my ex. my current gf loves me and i think i love her, but the relationship just feels like a safe choice in my life. we get along, don't fight, i believe she truly does love me. so naturally i feel like a complete dick because deep down inside i still want my ex back. my ex recently contacted me, and more or less hinted at the idea of trying again, but i told her i was seeing someone and i didn't want to go thru all of it again where i make myself available again and she disappears (which happened both times). i told the ex i rather just try and be friends. but i feel myself being pulled in the direction of messing things up all over again, and i don't want to do that to my gf again. but i also know that if i feel this way i shouldn't be with her in the first place.. yeah i'm probably just afraid to be alone which makes me shitty for even being with the gf, but i want to be done dating. i want to find that person i can spend my life with, and i just don't know if shes the one even though it would be easy to, i hate to say it but, settle. tl;dr ex wants me back now, again.. but i don't know if i should consider the option even though i am not fully satisfied with my current gf. afraid to be alone, afraid to settle, and tired of hurting everyones feelings. | i [36/m] feel terrible with my situation with my gf[37/f] and ex[27/f]. | 72tmx7 | don't settle. if there's a chance you and your ex can be 100% fantastic, then go back to her and get counseling | relationship_advice | 72tmx7 |
i am always filled with self-loathe, especially at my physical appearance, and i can't help but think if i had a child then i would hate that child too because it's my dna. but the thing is i don't think that negatively of my parents, even though i'm their offspring. but i also am nothing like them, in behavior or physical appearance. | i read that psychopaths sometimes love their children because they view them as extensions of themselves. do people that have to deal with self-hate hate their children? | 7wne8v | i think it’s more simply: the mind with which you judge yourself is the mind with which you judge others, and vice versa. the same tendencies for judgment arise. | mentalhealth | 7wne8v |
my girl and i were going to hang out together on friday. she told me she had to babysit for a family and instead she went out with friends saying the other didn't need here. i asked how it went and she said it was a total of 10+ people. and she had fun but got in a little heated situation (non-romantic). and when i asked her who it was she took way to long to say his name(like she made up a name). i've seen her text him. i've seen him send her too many messages on xbox. and idk what to think. i have a bad feeling she's keeping something from me. and i don't know what to do or how to ask. she's being distant with me.... | i'm sure she went hanged out with her ex | 5on459 | be direct. find out. make a decision. | relationship_advice | 5on459 |
hi. i have ehlers\-danlos syndrome and have been fighting costochondritis for about 5 months now using voltaren gel, tumeric and cbd. this week it got significantly worse. i do not metabolize drugs in cyp2c8 \(such as nsaids\). will i be able to metabolize a ketorolac injection? if not, what can i do to help get on top of this? the doctor i saw at my "urgent appointment" today threw her hands up and said she didn't know how to treat costochondritis without nsaids and didn't know if my body would be able to do anything with a toradol injection \(she did some brief research and couldn't determine if injections would be metabolized the same as oral nsaids, ie, they aren't.\) and she didn't want to expose me to useless drugs. please help. | drug metabolism and costochondritis | 8k0fqe | i'm no kind of nsaid pharmacology expert, but i have some questions. how did you learn that you have no cyp2c8 metabolism, and why does that make the entire class of nsaids useless? ibuprofen, for example, seems to be primarily a 2c9 metabolite. ketorolac \(toradol\) undergoes glucuronidation, which is a non\-cyp metabolism, and is also excreted unchanged in urine. either way, unless the drug is a prodrug that requires activation by cyp2c8, it would be effective but have an extremely long half\-life for you without the ability to metabolize it by the normal pathway. | askdocs | 8k0fqe |