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i just wanted to know how to deal with this situation.. i really like this girl and want a relationship with her, but she already told me that she doesn't want it as she doesn't feel "ready". we make out, i sleep with her in the same bed, we cuddle, hold hands and kiss each other just like a couple. we had oral sex but nothing more... so i don't know but i don't think that you would do these things to "someone like a normal friend" obviously... so what do you guys think? thanks in advance:) | advice | 73zqde | always listen to the words, not the actions. she wants casual. period. don't read into anything. even if it *seems* contradictory. | relationship_advice | 73zqde |
over the last few months i've started opening up more about my feelings and mental health, i managed to keep a lid over everything, but near the end of my first semester if my masters year i just broke down and cried into my partners arms. i've found these episodes happen more and more. i'm not going to lie, i like to drink, not in clubs on the weekends, but at home, mostly alone. something weird though, as i've started opening up more, and having the depressive episodes, i've started drinking less. is that normal? | drinking and my mental health | fb4nq6 | therapist here- if your drinking was predominantly a coping mechanism to avoid feeling the sadness and dealing with the depressive episodes, then it makes sense that you would find yourself drinking less as you decide to face your depressive episodes head on and express them. one thing to be mindful of, though, is if you decide to drink in order to stop the depressive episodes or to lessen their severity. that's where it can become more problematic again. and in the long run, excessive alcohol use will worsen depressive symptoms. keep on processing and expressing with your support system! and if things get to be too much reach out to your university counseling center. | mentalhealth | fb4nq6 |
WEBLINK this is the last time i’ll do this i just have some positive news and i thought that would be nice to share. just venting people you don’t have to get your panties all twisted over this. i also still haven’t told anybody so that’s why i’m here. friday night i ended up staying at a friends house because i was so pissed at my husband. after i saw what he did to the tv i was very upset and i didn’t want to be around him. last night he called me and asked me to come home. (very late at like 2am) i came home only because the late call made me worried. i’m glad i did tho. he sold his xbox for $350 and bought a new tv. he agreed to therapy and basically broke down and told me what has been going on in his head and why he was so angry. he said he is making a life style change and instead of playing fifa he is going to join an actual football team again. he then handed me the $200 for my credit card. he also told me that his boss is opening up another restaurant and asked him to be his main cook. there is a $10 an hour pay raise which is going to help us out of this shitty financial place.feeling hopeful. i’m happy i never threw the work divorce at him. | update to “my husband charged $200 on my credit card without me knowing” | 7ax6gf | wow. i’ve been following along and was so convinced you were going to have to leave him before he’d make a change (if that was even enough to do the trick). so glad that the tv was his rock bottom rather than your marriage. best to you both. | relationship_advice | 7ax6gf |
i'm 2 months sober from alcohol. i'm still in a very fragile place so it's hard to be happy about that (i miss whiskey!). oddly enough i've begun drinking what i think is a very large amount of canned seltzer water. i'm drinking about 12 cans a day. some things mirror my old addiction in terms of ritual (having to plan to go to the store to buy it everyday, becoming anxious if there's none in the house). but other things don't. for example, my alc. of choice did not usually come in a can (esp. at the end of my drinking). anecdotally, i know a few other people in recovery who drink a lot of seltzer water, although i don't know if it's to the extent that i am. anyone ever heard anything about this? is it just me? do we all simply find something new to obsess over in our early days? or is there something about seltzer water that a lot of people with addiction are attracted to? i know this is a pretty mundane question. but maybe some of you know how the first few months of sobriety are. this is a big deal to me for some reason. | 2 months sober from booze...and i switched to a seemingly harmless, new addiction. | 5xfmik | ha ha yeah i know a lot of people in aa who drink la criox. early on it was important for me to find something non-alcoholic that i could enjoy drinking if i went out to eat, it helped me feel less jealous of others who i saw drinking alcohol. at first i let myself drink a bunch of soda then switched to sparkling water so i could get something with a taste to it that wasn't loaded with sugar. 12 cans a day is a lot, but at least you're staying hydrated? 🤷 if it really bothers you, you could try substituting every other can with a glass of regular water instead, but honestly i wouldn't worry about it too much. be gentle with yourself, 2 months is early days yet. | redditorsinrecovery | 5xfmik |
so there's this really great girl in my class. i've known her for about a year now and developed a crush for her overtime. i think that she might like me a bit, but i'm not really sure. we don't talk that much but whenever we do, she's super nice and pretty much always maintains eye contact, smiles, and occasionally laughs at a joke or something. she does seem to favor nice guys, which is a refreshing quality to see nowadays. we're in the same homeroom at school and our lockers are directly next to each other, so i definitely will have plenty time to talk to her. i also think that i do know where to start (e.g., saying "hi" as i pass her in the halls, talking about school or classes by her locker, etc.) but i'm still not completely sure. i also want to talk about how to find common ground with her. to be honest, we don't have much in common. for example, i take french and she takes chinese as a language at school. she's crazy for soccer, it's my least favorite sport. so i'm really not sure what kind of common ground i can find. opposites attract, i guess. anyway, now onto the main point. i'm not confident. i want to talk to her so badly, but i'm just so damn nervous. i don't even know why. i don't even think i'm very ugly, average looking at best. i don't have a lot of muscle, either, but i'm still pretty skinny, so it's not like i'm self-conscious about my weight or anything. i'm also really funny; countless of people, including my friends and some girls, have told me that i'm hilarious. i have so many redeeming qualities, so i'm honestly not sure why i'm so unconfident. i guess it's just that i'm so afraid of saying something bad that i usually just shut my mouth and don't say anything at all. and i want to stop doing that, but that fear of ruining my chances just keeps on haunting me. it has improved a bit over the months, but it's still tough, and i need a hand. any advice on anything in this post would be greatly appreciated. thank you. **tl;dr: i want to get to know a girl better, but i'm not very confident and don't talk all that much.** | i [14m] want to get to know this girl [14f] better, but i'm really nervous and not very confident | 6bepxp | ask her out for coffee. nothing to lose. | relationship_advice | 6bepxp |
apologies for the mobile formatting tomorrow marks 90 days no contact with my xbf q. i promised to do anything to help him get better, but not a single thing to help him stay sick. i joined this sub suspecting he relapsed after just over a year of sobriety. at the same time we had concieved a baby after nearly a year of trying ( we did the baby dance on the sunday and he relapsed the following friday - talk about timing!) i wrote about my experience in detail [here](WEBLINK), [here](WEBLINK) & the outcome [here](WEBLINK) and [here](WEBLINK) - as well as in other past posts. i am now 26 weeks pregnant and have not spoken to or heard from him in 89 days. there is a no contact restraining order in place until 2023. i can vary this at any time. he cannot. the good - no more drama, starting petty fights - when i see my friends, im not sharing the burden or preoccupied with whats going on with q - ive had time to reflect on the last 2 years. realising that addiction wasnt the only issue. there was also domestic violence /emotional abuse and untreated very serious mental illness - baby is safe - starting therapy - knowing i can trust myself to. follow through with my boundaries the hard bits - trying to understand why i stayed. i came into our relationship with goos boundaries. but over time, ??? -still wondering if he is ok. is he sober, drunk, high, in hospital, dead or in jail. i have no idea - feeling guilty about leaving and involving the police - the legalities of possibly co-parenting with an active alcoholic /addict - missing the man i love, and mourning the good parts of our relationship - the urge to go back and try to resolve things - daily, as i can vary the order. - coming to terms with lies/manipulation that happened even while he was in recovery. it wasnt substances it was just "him". - dealing with his parents (babys grandparents) as they are still. enabling and like to "update" me on his. life. finding it particularly difficult with his mum - being pregnant and alone i dont know what tomorrow will bring. i hope in my heart of hearts one day soon my q will fimd his way out of the darkness and back to me & the family who loves him. i dont know if i will ever stop loving him and i wish that my son will get to know his dad the man that i love one day, not the monster. i am also preparing for the sad fact that this may never happen. living with addiction is hard. watching a loved one and continuing a relationship with them through recovery and afterwards is just as hard. deciding to stay or go while loving them and putting up with a relationship that doesnt nurture you is torture. leaving is a heart breaking relief. extended no contact feels like grieving a death. for me, there's no easy answers. i just picked my childrens well-being (and mine). having a peaceful home while lonely right now is better than dealing with my q drunk/high. hope this helps anyone who is reading | update: 89 days later, pregnant to my q | a1e9ti | hey, similar story here—my kiddo is now 8 months and although single motherhood is hard, i have no regrets. pm any time ❤️ | alanon | a1e9ti |
was diagnosed with hypertension a few days ago, bp 160/109. dr prescribed lisinopril (for mild hypertension) and asked me to purchase a cuff and log my bp for 3 weeks. my bp has always been a bit high at the dr (ive never checked it outside of a drs office) so i decided to wait to take the meds until i checked my bp a few days without it. my arms are pretty chunky so i ordered a wrist cuff. the wrist cuff reads around 113/78. i followed the directions that came with the cuff but im worried about its accuracy and whether i should go ahead and take the medicine or not. | how accurate are blood pressure wrist cuffs? | 6rek58 | depends if the cuff is the right size or not, and other lifestyle factors around the time (eg smoking just before). can't say how accurate it is for you specifically. | askdocs | 6rek58 |
my boyfriend has been seeing a therapist recently. i helped him with the search, so i know her name and could easily send her an email through psychology today. i know she wouldn't be allowed to discuss him, but that's not what i want. i was talking to my boyfriend before he fell asleep a few minutes ago, and we were stressed about money and relationship problems. he started talking about killing himself. he said that tomorrow, he'll spend one last day at school with his friends, tell his therapist that he's doing fine (he has an appt tomorrow morning), and then kill himself sometime, without telling anyone when, so nobody can stop him. obviously there's a bit of time, and he could feel better in the morning. but would it be appropriate for me to send a short email to his therapist letting her know this? so that she could bring it up and maybe either talk him down if he still feels that way, or figure out how serious he is? since he's not threatening or trying to do anything right now, i don't think 911 it's a viable option at the moment. tl;dr: bf says he'll lie to his therapist and kill himself, should i let her know? or is that breaking confidentiality? update: i didn't realize this thread was going to spark so much debate. i was just looking for a bit of advice, but it was interesting to read all your conversations in this topic. i am of the opinion that suicide should only be allowed in extreme cases, and with rational thought behind it. and the nature of depression and most mental illnesses make rational thought difficult, if not impossible sometimes. with that in mind, i'd rather break a bit of trust and help him down the path of recovery, rather than standing by while he makes a rash decision. i ended up emailing her. because she then had reason to suspect he was in danger, she had to talk to him (mandatory reporter and what not). they came up with a safety plan, and she gave me her number in case i ever need it, but encouraged me to call 911 he is ever in immediate danger. he seems to be doing a lot better today, and appreciated that i cared enough to let her know when he might not have. | question: is it ok for me to email my boyfriend's therapist? | e5xxyr | hello! therapist who deals with high risk folks/suicidality here. this is a sticky situation, and one that i would *hope* the therapist has some idea of if they've been working together long enough. your boyfriend doesn't appear to have much desire to speak with his therapist about this concern, and that he is making some statements of intent. that is what i would consider moderate to high risk, without even knowing anything else. you are under no obligation for confidentiality. a mental health professional may not be able to disclose anything to you about a client who has no release of information to speak with you, but you are always free to reach out to the therapist and give them information. are you able to go with him to his appointment tomorrow? so you can voice your concerns and encourage him to speak up about it and support him in session? that's how i find it best to keep people safe while keeping their privacy respected. you are right that emergency services may not help you if he is not in any imminent threat to himself. i would take note of his suicidal statements, the frequency of them, and if you are able to get any proof of that. when in doubt, though, if you feel like he is unsafe and is in danger of harming himself, call emergency services and explain it to them. also, while i understand trust and privacy are important when building rapport with someone, we also aim to preserve life as best we can. so, when in doubt, speak up about it. it may hurt your boyfriend's sense of trust in you in the short term, but it could possibly save his life, and that's what really matters here. | mentalhealth | e5xxyr |
hi, so this morning i woke up and i was feeling a little sad for what i think was no reason (since nothing had happened for me to feel that way). after an hour or so, i started feeling better and went on with my day as normal. i went to school, did what i had to do, laughed and smiled- even had a class where we all legitimately got curled up in a corner and fell asleep for a full hour (we're a small class, all very united- like family. and yes, high school, just to point out.). anyway, after school... i got home, and suddenly i felt angry. i felt sad. i felt lonely. i felt unwilling. out of nowhere! i am still currently feeling this way- and i still don't know why. could this be a problem? bipolar disorder? depression? anything related or unrelated? thank you, for any help. | sudden mood drop | a5o0uz | not going to offer any diagnoses, but from the brief snippet of your day today, i am feel confident that you are not manifesting the traditional symptoms of bipolar disorder. we all have random and sometimes indescribable changes in our moods. sometimes they last for an hour or two, possibly all day. we can definitely wake up in the morning in a funk, but as the day goes on, things start to get better and our moods lighten. this does not mean we are suffering from a mental illness, it means we are human. people who suffer from bipolar disorder experience episodes of depression and mania (at least for bipolar 1). these states exist on polar opposite ends of the spectrum from each other, hence the name bipolar. in such a small, close, family-like class, i suspect someone would quickly become aware if you began to manifest these symptoms. also, feeling uncomfortable emotions doesn't mean that we are sick or there's a problem. high school isn't exactly the best place to be, imho, so i would reflect on which feelings may be accurate and normal versus those that are wayyyy out of your character. if, one day, you come home to find your sister drank your last soda and you threw her tv out the window, that's something you probably want to mention. try writing your feelings out in a journal, then ripping it up and throwing them away if you don't want them around. that can be a very therapeutic activity. typing or writing, just get it out. the actual act of talking and knowing someone is hearing your words is also therapeutic, even if the person listening doesn't say much. give yourself a hug and, as hard as this may sound, try not to be hard on yourself if you're feeling down. get some good sleep, eat a healthy meal, and take some personal time out for yourself, if you can. i hope you feel better. :) | mentalhealth | a5o0uz |
it is very annoying for me to feel empathetic all the time. i have been manipulated because i showed too much care for others. i feel bad when i try to put my point across, and hurt others feelings. i even watch tv and i feel them. i been told various of times that showing emotion is not something that i should do in "the real world", at the workplace. if i want to be successful i need to act professional. i honestly hate, hate feeling love for others (really quickly, not romantic) while they don't have that for me. i just wish i wasn't this empathetic, and be bland, heartless, never hurt, and moving on from people. | how to avoid being empathetic all the time, and act professionally? | 7j972b | this is a common problem in helping professions, particularly mental health. it is possible to feel empathy, but still to respond with kindness and compassion. it requires setting limits in advance for yourself, and sticking to them. you might try searching on the psychotherapy sub for suggestions. this comes up all the time there. it would be a shame for you to have to close yourself off the way you mention. | needadvice | 7j972b |
i’m not sure this is a question or anything but i really just need to talk to someone or get things off my chest before it blows up in my face. i live my life as a completely heterosexual male and i’ve been in a straight relationship with a woman for 6 years (and before that for 10 years.) i’ve been struggling with homosexual thoughts since i was 10 and have kind of accepted recently i’m bisexual. years back i really got in to cross dressing secretly with my previous long term relationship and suppressing it kind of lead to a downward spiral that ended up with me being committed to a mental institution. after that relationship deteriorated i kind of refused to follow my instincts and try out homosexuality (worth noting i’ve had a boyfriend in the past and we’ve had sex etc) and rushed in to another heterosexual relationship which i’ve now been in for 6 years. lately those feelings have been coming up again and i just feel like i can’t ignore them again and i feel myself at the cusp of that downward spiral once more. i’ve been secretly dressing in my current girlfriends clothes and it feels great and i’ve been constantly getting off to gay/trans porn. it’s actually gotten to the point that i’m afraid to have sex with her because i don’t know if it’ll be difficult for me to be attracted sexually to her. i still am and i still hold that i’m bisexual (hetero porn still arouses me,) i’m just kind of scared. i recently got medical insurance for the first time in like forever and i have already picked out a therapy centre to go to (funny enough it’s the same one from about 10 years ago when this problem first started boiling over.) maybe my question from all of this is, what questions should i ask or where should i begin to talk with a therapist? | 23 years in the closet | do3upa | before you dive deep in, ask what their lgbtq+ competency is and what kind of training/supervision the therapists have in this area. this is going to be extremely important as you address these topics in therapy. if they don't have a good answer for you or one you're happy with, seek another provider immediately, don't try to make it work just because the location or some other aspect may be more convenient. | askatherapist | do3upa |
one day at a time i have been to 3 different schools with 3 incompleted degrees. at the end of my rope, i became an emt (becuase it only took 6 months) everyone in this job is very adhd and understanding. after the anxiety of the first few calls i found it's perfect for me: just drive around do whatever you want, seprated by moments of intense focus. took me years of floundering in many other jobs i thought would be "the one" just posting to say keep it up ya'll! one day it will click. this sub helped me get there. <3 | for those of you still looking for a career/purpose/path | c2yyk6 | oh god emt sounds so good! there aren't enough lifetimes but i'd love that as a career if i had another one. | adhd | c2yyk6 |
don't let yourself coast. notice when you need to course correct to stay on track. success is a good feeling, and doesn't happen magically. there are things we need to stick to every day to keep our lives in a good place. the work is worth it, and it keeps our anxious backlog low. it prevents much of the overwhelm that can take us down hard. pay that bill that's on the counter. pack a lunch on a day you know will be busy. brush your teeth. toss and fold that load of laundry. give an update on a project that isn't going as planned, and ask for help / feedback to get it going again. plan something fun and creative to do today / this week to remind yourself that you are valuable and deserve good things. this is my list for today, and i have a feeling it is similar to yours. let's make today a success, and feel good about the accomplishment when our heads hit the pillow tonight! | don't forget about the routines that help you thrive | c2uql9 | oh god this. i cycle with good and bad life moments and it's all about my routines. i have a solid routine and feel good, then i start to lax on it because i feel fine, it laxes so bad that i need to fight against depression, my husband and daughter started being impacted and i sort myself out. rinse and repeat. i'm currently on the up part which is nice! except i'd like to avoid it happening again. i need to accept i am not neurotypical and getting up at the same time everyday, not overloading my schedule, spending time with my family, eating well, balance, are all as important as medication for me. | adhd | c2uql9 |
it bothers me, and i feel like it would be better to know one way or the other. i obsess about food and not eating. i've noted down the things i've come to realize that have started happening lately: * i feel like i don't deserve to eat sometimes. * sometimes if i have something tasty i think, oh, this is too tasty, i don't deserve it. * i can't go over a specific (very low) caloric intake. * thinking about going over a certain number of calories makes me upset and anxious. * i keep thinking i should eat more than this for my health but i just can't. * i think about food all the time. * certain foods scare me and i can't stand having them in the house. * i get dizzy sometimes. * my heart beats funny sometimes, i guess it's palpitations. * i worry that i won't have enough energy to work out. * if i cook, i never want to eat afterwards. that last one isn't new, it just seems odd to me. does this list resonate with anybody? does it sound like an eating disorder, or should i relax and calm down about it? either way, i'm not really ready to try to fix it. i'm very, very overweight. i'd rather be sick and thin than be fat any more. | request: i don't know if i have an eating disorder | 6y2d7r | people don't stay thin by starving themselves, without it being an ed. ianad but i think it's about 1200-1400 calories that people need to not develop rebound weight gain. it's increased exercise, slightly reduced or simply controlled but average calorie intake, and sleep that are necessary for losing weight. it sounds like you're feeling really frustrated right now and wanting change to happen really fast and without your body rebelling and getting in the way. to me this sounds really problematic and like an ed or symptom from childhood trauma with a control or safety aspect. | eatingdisorders | 6y2d7r |
i've never had a definite answer, even through google. i pretty much know you can, but i'd just like that definite answer. the reason being because think i've almost cured my anxiety, and i want to know whether it will actually be cured. if it's possible to get over it. i had sleep anxiety for about 1 year and a few months. it got progressively worse, until i had to put an end to it. so i went out of my way to develop coping methods, then went straight into beating my anxiety. i developed a 3 step strategy that i would use every night to help me sleep, and it worked wonders. and this was already after developing many methods of coping while not in bed, which is where the anxiety struck worse. this strategy worked so well that i was getting my full amount of sleep for weeks, with no troubles. i used to get anxious *every* night for hours, then i just said "fuck it" one day and decided to go out of my way to cure my anxiety. i developed that strategy 5 months ago, since then i've been feeling better and better. i no longer get "butterflies" in my stomach a few hours before bed and i no longer have to stick to a strict routine before bed to sidetrack myself from the anxiety. i can pretty much sleep fine and normally like i used to. but i'm still in the final stages of recovery. normalizing my sleeping and then getting used to changing bed times depending on what time i need to be up are a few things on the agenda. but i've already test-ran how i felt doing those things and it looks all good. so i'd say i've mostly eradicated my anxiety. but as i'm in the *very* last stages, i don't want to fall back into the pit. i don't want to realize there's no end to this journey. i don't want to be stuck with this for life (and it isn't genetic or anything). so that's why i ask, can you actually *cure* anxiety, for good? as i said earlier i pretty much know you can, but i've never had a definite answer. thanks. | [help] can you actually cure anxiety? | 2b7fbi | you cannot "cure" anxiety any more than you can cure sadness or anger. that is because fear/anxiety is a normal human emotion. it is not something that can be eliminated. that does not mean however that you are doomed to suffer with it. don't fall into the trap of believing that you must rid yourself completely of anxiety because that is impossible. however, it is possible to learn to manage and cope anxiety to the point where it is not making a negative impact in your life. | anxiety | 2b7fbi |
i have had issues with intense, fluctuating emotions, and other things, for a really long time. i think i may have bpd, but i'm not sure. i'm not asking for a diagnosis. i know *something* is wrong with me, but i don't know what it is. i'm only asking this here because i feel you guys will at least understand the weird duality of knowing your thoughts are stupid and irrational, and thinking them anyway. i've played out the scenario of seeing a therapist in my head a hundred times, and always i will start explaining my symptoms and immediately following that up with apologizing for them and explaining them away. i'm scared that there's actually nothing wrong with me and i'm just making it all up in my head for attention or to feel special, and i'm scared a therapist will realize that and just see me as a drama queen every time i walk through their door. i've been with my so for two years and i only started really talking to him about this two months ago. i still haven't opened up to him completely because i'm terrified he'll see it as too much to deal with, or think i'm batshit crazy and leave me. i'm ashamed of how i feel, ashamed of how i react so intensely to things so small and insignificant, ashamed that i'm a burden to everyone who loves me. i need to feel loved, but i'm terrified of being a burden so i push people away. it took me so long to open up to my so, someone i love and trust more than anyone else in this world. i can't imagine revealing this part of myself to a stranger. at the same time i feel like i've done so well. i got over my anorexia myself, i stopped self harming by myself. i've stayed with my current so for two years; i used to be unable to stick to anyone for longer than two months. this is of course in no small part due to my so being an incredible, empathetic and understanding partner who has never given up on me. but also because i've gotten so much better at dealing with my emotions, not saying hurtful things when i know they're irrational, taking time to calm down, and not always seeing myself as the victim. i know i need to see a therapist and i'm terrified to. the worst part is, that's only how i feel right now. i don't know how i'll feel about this tomorrow. does anyone understand?? | i know i need to see a therapist but i'm terrified they'll hate me. does anyone understand? | 4bacr9 | therapist here. so you did just see one. your situation sounds absolutely wonderful. you've already started doing the tough work, you recognize the duality of your thoughts and emotions and you have started practicing being with your strong feelings without letting them control your responses. i'd love to be your therapist because you are working hard and looking for help doing that, not for someone to do the work for you. just make sure you fine someone who's validating and thoughtful without being overly suggestive. look for humanistic or dbt in their experience and maybe interview then over the phone to get a sense of their way of thinking about people with strong emotions. seriously you are doing wonderfully and no therapist worthy of their license would belittle your thoughts or emotions because it's obvious they are very inhibiting and distressing. it's a problem if it's a problem i say. ask in a pm if you want help finding or vetting a possible therapist. you can do this. | bpd | 4bacr9 |
i just wanted to tell someone. i know it's lame, but i am very scared, nervous, excited, anxious, and proud. | at 30 i have been depressed for over two decades, i just emailed a clinic that works with my workplace to provide counselling. i'm taking a positive step for the first time ever. | 7wppr1 | it's not the slightest bit lame. it's awesome! glad you are getting help. | depression | 7wppr1 |
been dating the best girl in the world for 4 months. i went on vacation and got hammered with my cousins at the bar. i was casually talking to a stranger for like 5 minutes and she just started making out with me. that's as far as we went. we kissed for a few minutes and then she disappeared. never got her name and i live in another state so i will never see her again. so that's a good thing. i have never done anything like this before and i feel awful. i don't know why i did it. it's killing me to the point that i can't eat. i realize this is a small problem compared to other stuff on here but it's a big deal to me. i'm embarrassed to ask my friends for advice because i just want to live like this just didn't happen. all advice is helpful. | need some advice - i feel terrible | 6316it | don't tell your girlfriend. [unless you're so guilty that you become suicidal] it's a minor transgression that you'll never do again. | relationship_advice | 6316it |
so to skip straight to the point, i have saggy boobs. not like a slight sag, but major sag - nothing hot imo. i'm in a serious relationship that's lasted for a couple months and i'm real scared and have no idea what to do about revealing my chest to him for the first time. thing is, i asked him last night about how he feels about saggy boobs and apparently he's really into them? something about how he's into milfs and milfs tend to have saggy boobs? he did sound completely genuine and honest and he'd never lie to me. it might sound strange, it does to me at least, but it's given me an almost little bit of hope to the situation. i kind of don't believe him and i'm still real scared to reveal myself to him, even if he is into saggy boobs, but idk what to do. i'm considering even waiting a couple years and just getting a boob job. if he actually ends up liking them then what's the point? i'm not sure what i should do here really. :/ | saggy boobies | 8t77zn | acting as though your body is lovable is an emotional risk for a lot of people, but it’s the only way to get the love (and fun sex whatever that you might prefer). you said: i’m scared. he said: don’t let that stop you. so maybe don’t. all serious relationships lead to flabby 80 year olds pounding skin anyways, so enjoy what you’ve got. | relationship_advice | 8t77zn |
oof. i am struggling with the idea that i'm hitting a point that i'm posting here. about me.. i'm in my early 30s.. and i think i have a drinking problem. i've suffered from anxiety pretty much all my life. i also had a brief stint with an eating disorder. and as of today i'm feeling like i've hit the, "i need to control my drinking" point just one too many times. ever since i've started drinking, i've periodically (once every couple months) had binge drinking episodes that lead to really bad life decisions. i often just attributed it to college and partying with everyone else. yet, if i look back, there are too many times that i was arguably the most drunk. a nye that i puked before midnight. a party that i punched my friend because she wouldn't let me go for a walk alone. just feeling embarrassed the next day because i was the drunk one. more recently this has lead to significant issues in my relationships. i'm a pretty sensitive and emotional person, and when i get drunk, all of that gets amplified times 3. i've been with my partner for over a year and i love him to bits. but he says when i'm drunk i act like i hate him. this weekend he had his aha moment where he realized he is afraid of me when i'm drunk, because i hurt him emotionally when i'm drunk. i pick fights. i push him away. he's basically said that he's not sure our relationship will make it if i don't get a handle on my drinking. i think in his mind he's thinking i can go to moderation. i want him to be right. i know a lot of times i really can control my drinking. yet, i'm scared. i'm scared because i have said i would cut back so many times and haven't. i'm also scared because my partner and all his friends and family drink pretty regularly, so i'm not sure what will happen if i decide i can't drink at all. right now i just want to curl up in a ball and cry. sadly i also kind of want to go home from work and have a drink. i just want to make it all go away. | new to this sub, looking for support/feedback regarding moderation vs. abstinence? navigating relationships? | 43pf6s | follow up--how do i deal with the giant wall that is up in my relationship due to the poor decision making from this weekend? it makes me feel so alone and scared and hopeless. he's trying really hard to be supportive, but also drawing a hard line in the stand and being intentionally blunt about the problem. i just want to sit here and cry all day. | stopdrinking | 43pf6s |
you can punch me for that title... okay, it's not that i *hate dealing with people*, but as most introverts will tell you, it can be extremely draining at the best of times. i've caught myself going around in a loop, particularly with this one friend of mine. i'll be sitting in my sad corner, going 'boo hoo, why does no one care about me', etc... then through events outwith my control, fate steers me back into contact with one of the few people who can actually understand me. what do i do with that pot of luck? i take a deep breath and sigh, wishing they hadn't bothered. damned if they do and damned if they don't, right? i'm never one to reach out to my friends, because let's face it, they don't *really* wanna see me (i'm not an, err... interesting person). when one person in our group does take the initiative and invites me out, it brings all of these pressures and expectations, doubts and conspiracies... making me count the seconds until i can finally be alone and comfortable again. believe it or not, i do want friends. not the 'duuude i'm so waaasted' kind, i'd prefer someone who i can actually open up to. as a guy in the middle of guytown, that's clearly not going to happen anytime soon. i'm not really hoping for some win-all cure-all here, because i know the problem is in my head. i just wanted to know if there's anyone else out there, who has a hard time forcing themselves into friendship circles they don't feel like they belong in, because they have no other options. i may have just described how every human being on the planet has felt at one point or another, but it was worth a shot. **tl;dr: is it normal to pity yourself for not making friends, have *air-quote* friends drop out of the sky onto you, shake them off and start complaining about still being alone? no, just me? :(** | the lonely paradox: who wants some friends, but hates dealing with people? | 4oqcah | finding fault with people precedes rejecting them. to stop being lonely stop finding fault with them and stop rejecting them. cultivate kindness and consideration and look for others discomfort and make some attempt to relieve it. compassion and kindness opposes fault finding and accepts that each person has intrinsic worth. your intrinsic worth is your potential for good. this potential can be encouraged and supported. see others potential for good and help them realize it. then you will never be lonely. | socialskills | 4oqcah |
a few years ago i was in a place where i felt it was better to be dead than to go on not being a woman. i attempted suicide, it didn't work. now a few years after being sent to a mental health facility and a rehab facility the issue of my wanting to be a woman was not only never resolved, but when i brought it up it was just brushed over. now it's causing me depression. i view it as a mental health disorder, i really freaking hate that i'm a relatively muscular 5'9 male who fantasizes, and longs to be a woman. so much so that it hurts. it is wrong but i don't know how to fight it. a few months ago i went through a solid month of believing my body was changing into that of a woman, i don't know if it was a psychotic episode or not (does anyone have any say?) but i scared the crap out of me after i realized it was crazy. transitioning is out of the question. **months of dark depression keep coming in waves** and i don't know if i can handle the next one without meds and therapy, so i will try to get those. what are your thoughts on what i've said about gender dysphoria? edit: changed to mental health facility edit2: grammer (i'm sure i missed some stuff). tldr: i tried to commit suicide over not being able to be a woman, recovered, but issue wasn't resolved, recently went a month believing my body was changing into a female's, depression keeps coming back. | i think i have gender dysphoria, and view it as a mental illness, it led me (among other things) to attempt suicide. | 4zyt9y | have you considered therapy for the depression? if not you should. and for the record, your feelings of wanting to be a woman are perfectly normal. you see it as a mental health disorder, which is fine, but the majority of the field does not. soon the dsm will reflect that. gender isn't a switch that you can flip. it's a scale that you slide around on. just because you find yourself moving around on that scale doesn't mean anything bad is happening. | mentalhealth | 4zyt9y |
one of my best friends arranged a charity (or rather a first attempt of it), we pooled money, bought cheap clothes on discount in order to resell them for higher to triple the amount of profit compared to our spending. our first day of collecting clothes went great! i shared it on snapchat/facebook etc. and celebrated it. however, one classmate of mine, let's call him "bob" suddenly messages me saying he wants to join the charity. nothing is wrong with the request, it's just that the charity was only inbetween my friends, so it's kind of private. my classmate "bob", i don't really hate him, but i don't like him either, he usually just "hitches on" to me. my best friend is one of the well-known "popular" kids at school, and i think that sometimes he gets jealous of me. before, he used me as a 'stepping stone', i'm kind of the weird and naive kid in class so i wasn't surprised. i was just irritated that he did all that to leverage himself so that he could be friends with my friends. i'm a really private person, and i try to seperate each of the groups of people i'm in, since i love making friends with everyone. i'm a bit defensive about my friends too. one experience, which was very telling of this behavior was when a year back, when i was attending educational summer enrichment programs with him, i was bullied i guess. i'm not a person who expresses anger easily and someone who isn't used to saying "no" like i mean it, in fear of people hating me. he "hitched on" to this guy, let's call "bobtwo", which bobtwo often made fun and teased me to feel all cool, he continued doing it because i showed no anger nor rejection, i simply kept quiet about it (i did say "no", and "stop it" in a calm manner a lot of times but they didn't stop). and, all bob did was join in with him, bob was my classmate for a year and he joined in on teasing me because, from my perspective, he simply wanted to feel included or more superior in the current social hierarchy that was created that day. sorry for elaborating so much hehe, i wanted to vent some of my backstory with him so that people could give me better advice for this. my best friend doesn't hate him, but he doesn't have any good thing to say about him, only a few bad things. don't misunderstand, i don't want to isolate him nor ignore him or stuff like that. it's just that i don't want him to join. i don't think he wants to join for the sake of charity but just because he wants to 'feel included' again and 'cool/popular'. at least, from my analysis, that's the kind of person i think he is. he's usually a negative nancy most of the time. he takes everything way too seriously, kinda lacks a sense of humor, and all he talks about is all this complicated stuff, as if trying to feel superior that he reads lots of books. i don't think he would fit in with my group of friends that runs a charity. it would probably not end well so, as the title suggested, what is the best way to say "no" in this situation without hurting his feelings because he'll probably be pissed or something and try to ruin me through social media by spreading rumours and gossips all because i said "no". i guess what i'm really trying to say is, what is the best way to say "no" without actually saying "no" and simply denying his interest in joining? i don't know if that's possible, please give me advice. tl;dr: guy i don't really like wants to join a charity my best friend along with some other friends made for ourselves. i don't think he'd fit in with us, and simply be bad since my other friends don't like him because he is kind of an ass. i'm afraid to say "no" because he'll probably try to embarrass me again. how to best say "no" without saying "no"? edit: a detail | how to best say "no" in my current situation?: | 8jmcc5 | like creative said, best course of action is to be straight forward. you don't have to give any explanation other than "thanks but we're good right now. we don't need any extra help but if we ever do, i'll let you know." sometimes you can't avoid hurting people's feelings. it's a fact of life. i imagine no matter what you say to him short of allowing him to join in, he's going to be pissed. you just have to weigh the consequences, what is going to be more of a pain in the ass for you, to have to deal with him joining or to have to deal with him being pissed? | socialskills | 8jmcc5 |
it is visible from every window on the north side of my house. when i prayed, i turned toward the old tree, with its’ branches soaring high in the air. i couldn’t really fathom my own personal god, but i could see and feel the strength of this mighty tree. this morning i woke to the sound of trucks and chain saws. it seems the old tree, powerful as it appears, is dying from the inside. its’ branches are the size of lesser trees, and when they fall they pose a serious risk to everyone and everything nearby. i thought the tree just needed pruning. i thought it would always be here, just like it had always been; preceding me and out-living me. i certainly did not think today would be the last i saw of it! but maybe the old tree and i have this in common. before i got sober, i too, was standing proud and tall. - and i too, was dying from the inside. good-bye, old tree. there will be a void. maybe new life will sprout, and i will turn toward a timeless higher power. but i will not forget you nor regret you. it’s just time. | this grand old tree was my first higher power. | a19h00 | if they don’t remove the stump, the old tree will be sprouting back in no time! but nonetheless, rip to your old tree friend, friend. | stopdrinking | a19h00 |
as bad as that sounds it's true. can anyone else relate? | i want a needy/clingy gf | 5b85lu | my gf now is slightly needy and clingy and i love it. it's a perfect match | bpd | 5b85lu |
i just started college recently and got to know a lot of people in my dorm. we formed a pretty large group of friends right off the bat, but as the days go on, it feels like they're all getting closer as friends while i can't manage to. what can i do to be a better part of the group? | just started college | 9gs8e5 | don't be a passive friend. what i mean by that is don't always be the one who tags along to parties, events, trips, get togethers, whatever. throw your own parties, organize things for your friends to do and invite them. call/text your friends to meet you for lunch/dinner or to come over and hang out. i don't know if you are or are becoming one of the tag along friends in the group, but over time, people will stop inviting you places or to events they organize if they feel like it's too one sided and you're not going to put the effort forth. you probably won't end up super close to all of them, but you'll also find out who you click with the best and will probably form a few deeper friendships, while still having the peripheral large friend group. | socialskills | 9gs8e5 |
i was doing some thinking and i realised: i have never just had one drink, or two, and stopped willingly. every time i ever drank it was until the alcohol ran out or i went home. i never felt like i had had enough, and i never drank for the taste. the only reason i ever drank was to get as drunk as i possibly could. i guess alcohol was just never meant to mix with such an addictive personality. does anyone else feel like they were never a 'normal' drinker, and had alcoholic tendencies from the outset? | was anybody else never a normal drinker? | 1zgffp | i've never had a legal drink and i've never had a drink while successfully moderating. for me i drank to excess from the get go, it's in my genes. | stopdrinking | 1zgffp |
i am desperate for some honest advice. thank you for reading. i am a mid 30s f, married to a late 30s m for 5 years (together for 10). we are truly best friends. we like each other, laugh, travel, and have a great life together with shared friends and interests. he treats me well and loves me very much. we talk about growing old together. we have a dead bedroom and have had sex maybe a dozen times over the past three years. he has a low libido, mine is high. he also has challenges with alcohol (though is never abusive) and depression which he manages with medication. he is smart and kind. as a result of the dead bedroom, we have recently opened our relationship for sex with other people. i have been seeing someone who i now consider my boyfriend, and it is becoming clear that i was missing more than just sex in my marriage, i was missing a romantic connection. i have fallen in love with this person. i know that my husband will do anything he can to keep me. he sees me slipping away and is taking steps to curb his drinking and change his meds. the truth is that i don't know if there is anything he can do at this point. it feels like we have always just been friends, and now that i know what romantic love looks like, it's hard to turn my back on it. i feel so lost and confused. i don't know what to do, and any scraps of advice would be really welcomed. *edited to say : no kids, minimal assets. | should i leave? | 5vqzyz | always remember that 'new' always seems better than 'familiar'. romantic intensity fades....though it certainly could fade to a much higher level than what you have with your spouse. but will all the other aspects of your relationship with your bf be as great as it is with your spouse? that's the big question. also, if your spouse changes meds and stops drinking, his libido could increase by a lot. in other words, there's a chance your marriage could be much improved. | relationship_advice | 5vqzyz |
so after a year on 10mg adderall ir 5 times daily (50mg total), i've switched to 15mg ir 4 times daily (60mg). i was really really obsessively afraid of this happening. adderall made a black and white difference in my life. it turned an extremely depressed and non competent me into the go getting extroverted person i've always wanted to be. i'm really scared. i don't want this to be a reoccurring thing :(. my doctor has said he goes up to 80mg daily, which is somewhat comforting, but what happens when i reach that and i need to go up more? it feels like a ticking time bomb with a minuscule fuse. &#x200b; i've read that some people find the right dosage and stay on it forever, and that's also what my doctor told me, but i'm worried that i wont be one of those people. i thought my dose right now was perfect, until it started slowly dropping off about 3-4 months ago. i'm so damn envious of neurotypicals :/ | after a year on meds, i finally increased my dose and i'm scared :( what happens from now on? | b22fax | try to stop thinking. hard with adhd i know. it's black and white, it's helping. don't over think it. when it stops or you reach 80mg worry then. there are options, maybe ask your doctor what he does when 80mg is no longer effective, he'll tell you their are options and may put your mind at ease. until then, don't think. | adhd | b22fax |
hi just wondering if anyone else has experienced their meds severely declining in efficacy during their period? i had the \*worst\* two days since my period started - really hard to focus, really bad emotional feels, rsd through the roof... i also may have just forgot to take my second pill until late today... so that could be it but... day before i was a mess and got my standard 10 mg. anyway i am on adderall xr take 5-15mg a day as needed, if that makes a difference. i will definitely be moving to take full 15mg on period days from now on... | period messes with meds? | atqux7 | i get nailed with horrible pms about eight days before my period and don’t even feel like i’m taking meds because i get so spacey and restless and anxious. | adhd | atqux7 |
like the title says, earlier i was assaulted by a stranger on a bus. he hit me twice, once on the leg and once on the chest, and following which spit on me which landed on my face and leg. i reported the case to the police already but i’m worried that he may have been carrying any diseases. i have no open wounds but is it possible for me to get anything from his saliva coming in contact with my face? he spit quite forcefully so i’m worried his saliva may also have come in contact with my mouth/eyes without me knowing. am i at risk of catching anything? | 21m assaulted and got spit on by the assaulter, am i at risk of contracting a disease? | exn65g | the risk is really not higher than spit we accidentally come into contact with all the time. even if you sought medical attention, there’s really no assessment to be done. if you develop symptoms of something, you could see a doctor. but my money would still be on you catching something else, unrelated, actually. | askdocs | exn65g |
i help people every day with similar problems, but my emotional mind tells me i'm a fraud and i caused my trauma and forever doomed to existing in a state of fear. i honestly feel i have been cursed or tainted in a way that can't be repaired. i have been in treatment twice weekly for 7 years and i am better in many ways, but i wonder if i will ever not feel like my soul is damned. i hate who i have become, a shell of a formerly innocent kid with endless optimism. | i am a psychiatrist and psychotherapist. i have bipolar disorder and ptsd. | 71nq9z | what does your wise mind tell you? | ptsd | 71nq9z |
hi everybody, first of all i want to say that if this type of post isn't welcome here, tell me and i'll delete it immediately. so while i was driving today, mental health was on my mind. i know that some days when i'm feeling down or depressed if i jump on a game and have a good time with friends it helps make all my problems seem smaller, but when i log on and have flamers and just all around assholes to play with it makes me feel smaller and worse about myself. so i had an idea of creating a subreddit where people could talk and play games together in a judge free environment and hopefully it'll grow to the point where you can find someone whose been through or is going through something similar to you that you can talk to while relaxing playing a fun game of your choice. does that sound like a good idea to anyone? if so, heres the newly created subreddit that i created today to hopefully start making a little community for us [mental_health_gaming](WEBLINK) | gaming to help with your mental health? | 4mo7ro | hey! there's actually a similar subreddit you may want to check out - reddit.com/r/gfd - gamers fighting depression | mentalhealth | 4mo7ro |
i take mirtazapine 45 mg and wellbutrin 300 mg for depression, apriso 1500 mg for colitis, levothyroxine 75 mg for hypothyroidism. white 25 y/o male, 5'7" 142 lbs. i'm paranoid about things like serotonin syndrome (i'm a bit of a hypochondriac) | is curcumin safe to take with antidepressants? | aoa7m4 | serotonin syndrome is the wrong worry: bupropion (wellbutrin) is not serotonergic, and mirtazapine (remeron) is actually a serotonin antagonist. neither has been associated with any cases of serotonin syndrome as far as i know. however, curcumin probably does inhibit several cytochrome p450 enzymes, which are needed to break down many medications. because of that, it could raise the effective dose of mirtazapine and especially wellbutrin. but that's a could, and i don't know whether the effect would be clinically significant. still, unless you have a very good reason to take curcumin, it's a supplement with no evidence that it is particularly helpful for anything, and raising wellbutrin levels runs the risk of causing seizures. i would recommend against it curcumin. | askdocs | aoa7m4 |
i am 26 and have been through a ton of medical things. i've been dealing with it for 15 years and only started to feel the trauma symptoms about 2 years ago. because i was so strong for as long as i was, people tend to not believe that my issues are as bad as they are. i am in counseling and on many psych meds to help, but it is so easy for me to get set back because my medical problem is life-long and i am at the hospital or other doctor appointments at least once a week. &#x200b; how do i start to ease those who don't "believe" me into realizing just how deep rooted my problems are and that ptsd is not just for those who have fought in wars. | i hate needing to tiptoe around the idea of "ptsd" because people think it's only for soldiers | a0qe5i | soldier here with ptsd. now a social worker. you’re good. do you and i hope you find some joy in life. take care! | ptsd | a0qe5i |
so i've been talking to this really nice girl who i've come to like a lot. the only problem is i've lived my entire life with no religion (it just never was brought up to me) and she took it as an opportunity to teach me about christianity. i agreed to learn more about it and through that i have realized i don't believe in it at all. she has told me that she could never date someone who didn't have the same beliefs as her and i'm stuck at a crossroad. do i be honest with her and accept the impending breakup or just keep lying to her about my beliefs? | christian girlfriend trying to convert me | 6akpqo | she's been upfront with you. pray to your godless equations for the courage to do the same. | relationship_advice | 6akpqo |
i’ve always been a really obsessive and clingy person. i always have clung and followed people i thought were cool. one summer, i was staying at my dad’s house across the country because my parents are divorced. my half brother, 14 at the time, was there too. i looked up to him and i followed him into his room at the time a lot. i slept in the same bed as him and i didn’t think anything bad of it. he molested me. it messed me up in the head a lot. this happened to me because of my personality. if i wasn’t obsessive and clung to people, this wouldn’t have happened. i’m still like this today. i’m destined for failure. i wish i had a good personality. | its because of my personality that i got molested when i was 8 | 7chdfy | or, you're anxious and have attachment issues due to early life history and/or temperament and your brother took advantage of that. you didn't consent or did so under duress (which isn't consent). you didn't cause the rape to happen even if your behavior was a contributing factor in having made it more likely to have happen. if you can't allow yourself to place blame on your rapist brother, you can't become angry at him. it will make it harder for you to protect yourself from abuse in the future. | mmfb | 7chdfy |
i have been struggling with severe depression and anxiety, and have had some suicidal idealizations, although i know i could never go through with it since too many people would be upset if i was gone. yet i still wish for death. and i have a gut feeling that i want to go to a mental hospital, yet i can’t seem to be able to tell why. i’m not worried about harming myself, yet i can’t get the thought out of my mind. any feedback is appreciated. | am i crazy for wanting to go to a mental hospital? | f34kja | sounds like you have some protective factors that can be a source of strength for you. have you attempted any kind of outpatient work for what's going on? perhaps seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist (or both)? that might be a better place to start as opposed to seeking an inpatient admission. you are always free to go to your local facility and ask to talk to someone about an inpatient admission. they can advise you on the pros and cons of an admission and if they feel it would be appropriate for you. good luck! | mentalhealth | f34kja |
omgggg as if having adhd and being married to a non adhd partner isn’t challenging enough under normal circumstances, doing it while cooped up together during this covid stuff is excruciating 😂 i’m so so fucking bored and restless and it’s so hard for us both being home all day cause usually he’s at work all day and im usually working too and then out doing social stuff/hobbies afterward but now we are both home almost 24/7 and i am about to lose my mind 🤬 and i can tell he is too he can’t take my messiness or restlessness and bouncing around doing projects and he’s constantly complaining about everything i do and honestly i’m fucking just living in my own house and i just feel so frustrated by his constant bitching and nitpicking and just making me feel like i’m such an idiot and we are both constantly losing our tempers with each other and saying horrible things to each other. and it’s so fucking hard not being able to get away from each other 😭 it’s making me hate my husband. i can tell we are at our absolute wits end with each other and everyday the shelter in place and social distancing orders are being extended i can see horrible destructive marriage patterns (that we worked so hard to fix in counseling😭) coming back into play (like the parent child dynamic and me just walking on eggshells and constantly fighting about chores) and then destructive adhd patterns that i have worked really hard to manage over the years are (impulse buying and extreme messiness and starting but not finishing project etc) slipping a little due to the lack of structure and stress and i know that’s just going to make this worse and i just don’t know what to do or how to live together during this time. i’m starting to think maybe carole baskins was on to something and i’m wondering where the hell can i get a tiger cause i’m worried i honestly can’t take much more of this. | living with a non adhd partner during shelter in place/quarantine. how are you and your spouse not killing each other?! | fv7kev | i could have written this. my god i get you. he said to me tonight "god you've just been so fucking difficult this afternoon". i didn't even ask him why because i cannot hear you tell me i'm shit one more time. i know why i've been difficult. because i want to throw myself through the window for some fucking stimulation. him sitting around being pissed at me for being pissed is not making me less pissed!!!!!!! i don't even know what to do. i need to start going for a run but motivation. ugh let me know if you figure it out. i would love the advice lol | adhd | fv7kev |
i posted a thread a while ago about me and a girl name dove which i will link [here.](WEBLINK) to tldr, me and the girl just stopped talking. she said she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and that she doesn't have enough time for boys. well a year has passed since then and we are now in college. i won't lie, i still think about her every now and then. sometimes everyday. i feel guilty with these thoughts as i am currently dating a great girl that loves me dearly. i hate myself for thinking about dove when i have someone that i have been dating for 8 months that loves me dearly and that i can't show the same love back because dove is in the back of my head. my problem lies in that i always find myself thinking about her. when i started dating my currently gf, i thought i got over dove and that i would be fine now. of course i was wrong. for some reason i miss her. i loathe to talk to her. i find myself wanting to just go over to her house and say that i miss her. it's christmas eve and i want to send her a message on fb wishing her a merry christmas and that i hope she's doing well. i know it won't change anything and that she doesn't want anything to do with me but i find myself thinking these thoughts every holiday that pasts. i'm lost and confused. tldr; doing great with current gf, started getting worst when thinking about old lover, want her attention/talk to her?, confused on what i should do in general | [19m] confused on what to do about an old lover | 5kbfm8 | if you're thinking about an ex this much you're not ready for the present rel. resolve first things first. | relationship_advice | 5kbfm8 |
i have been struggling with depression and anxiety for the last three years. self harm has been on the scene on and off. i haven't told my parents about my depression due to the fact that my mother is abusive and my father is passive to the point where he doesn't bat an eye when she raises a hand to me. my dear friend went to the school about my anxiety as i was having panic attacks during class. i have been attending therapy for the last 8 months. she put my anxiety down to tests and not much more. i hadn't told her about my self harm due to fear of her telling my parents. lately, i've been feeling extremely suicidal and i tried to explain this to my therapist. she however, wrote it off as nothing to worry about. is there anything i can do? i am in desperate need of advice | my therapist doesn't take me seriously | 3e7spl | unfortunately, like many professionals, there are therapists out there that are either unqualified, or ill suited to their line of work. i'm sorry that you are dealing with one of the bad ones. my first suggestion would be to bring up your concerns about her reactions to your therapist. he/she should be a professional about it and do what is best for you. the only time your therapist should tell your parents what you discuss in confidentiality is if you discuss harming yourself or others. by harming yourself, i mean suicide. i personally wouldn't tell a parent that a teen client was self harming unless i felt it was likely to result in serious harm or death. you may need to talk to a doctor or nurse practitioner about medication as well. your school counselor or school nurse may be able to help. let me know how it goes! | depression | 3e7spl |
heading into my third day. i'm craving so damn bad. but i know i can do this. | i haven't had a drink since saturday. | 76xngp | great job i'm sober with you today | stopdrinking | 76xngp |
aight im going to get straight to the point, i’m the typical 16 year old male (i’m assuming all other info doesn’t matter for this topic) and i chronically procrastinate and it’s taking a toll on me... i literally always wait til the last second to do things because i think i’ll have time but then i end up rushing and doing a shit job or needing more time and it’s always maximum stress and i’m freaking the fuck out because i got all this shit due and i’m either being kept awake by this or pacing around my house at 12 because i think i have to start now or i’m fucked. is there something wrong with me? like can this be helped or fixed in some way because i can’t keep going on like this because i fucking hate the stress man. | procrastination | biylzp | it is possible that a psychiatric disorder is making this harder for you than for the average person. it's hard to say since you only included a small amount of information. | askdocs | biylzp |
age, 23 years. height 5'8, weight 63 kgs. indian. i used to smoke marijuana. for three years. not a lot, and not regularly. then for a period of 6-7 months, it became a lot and daily, barring some days or a week or two. anyway. a month ago, felt i wasn't getting relieved after urinating. and had to go frequently. constantly feeling like some pee was left. but no pain anywhere. went to docs. told them about my lifestyle, 100% honestly. had tests for uti, diabetes, hyperthyroidism. all normal. uroflowmetry showed that i was emptying my bladder well, 30 ml left, 480 ml voided. but flow was less. 9 ml/s avg. urologist referred to psychiatrist, said it's their issue. now psychiatrist along two three multi vitamins, wrote me blonitas 2 mg, which is used for schizophrenia, and as google told me, used when first line of treatment fails. if there's a psychiatry professional here, i would really appreciate if you could maybe enlighten me if prescribing blonitas was overkill or not. haven't yet started. been a month since being prescribed. the urinary issue has lessened, although still there. sometimes it's more sometimes none. although i do have to push the last bit of urine out more than half the time. flow is also good sometimes, but many a time it's less. i'd be grateful if someone could tell me. thanks. | psychiatry related question regarding blonitas 2 mg. i'd be grateful if someone helps. | bl0n3i | i have no familiarity with blonanserin (blonitas), as it's not available in the us. i also feel like something is missing from the story. a problem with urination was treated by a psychiatrist? what was the diagnosis? an antipsychotic doesn't make sense at first glance, but the whole thing doesn't make sense to me at first glance. | askdocs | bl0n3i |
i’m in my early 20s and noticed some sexual dysfunction starting a couple months ago. this has never been an issue for me so i got concerned. i went to the doc and had all kinds of blood tests done and i was normal, in fact i was in my best shape ever. this was coupled with some other random health problems such as bouts of itchiness at night, fatigue, and muscle weakness. i got a testosterone test done and i came to 433/dl. i lift 4x a week and do cardio regularly. i eat high protein and nutritious meals. i take multivitamins, omega-3s, as well as ashwagandha. i get 7-9 hours of sleep regularly. i do not know what is going on. i know 433 is supposedly in the normal range but i do not feel my normal self and especially with sexual arousal, etc. i would ideally want to be in the 550+ range. i am at around 12% body fat as well so it isn’t caused by too low body fat. i am at a loss as to why my test is so low for a guy my age. this started happening about a month and a half into isolation so i don’t know whether that is a factor here but that is the only thing i can think of. i can only imagine that it is some kind of psychological response but still i am not sure. does anybody have any insight? i am really struggling with this at the moment and would love to get myself back on track. i am not interested in trt. | low t levels as a young, fit, and healthy guy causing me health problems. | hupc1n | that is in the normal range. increasing your level to a different part of the normal range won't do you good, and blaming normal testosterone levels for vague symptoms is unlikely to help explain or treat those symptoms. there are many other reasons for new sexual dysfunction. stress, relationship issues, adverse effects from the random crap that ends up in supplements like ashwagandha, take your pick. i recommend against ashwagandha (and other supplements), and you probably don't need (or benefit from) a multivitamin. the jury is out on omega-3 supplementation, but it doesn't show the same evidence of being helpful as omega-3 rich foods. | askdocs | hupc1n |
does this mean i don't have adhd and it's been this the whole time? is it both? how do i even figure something like that out. and all of this in the middle of the most important years of my life. got my final exams for a-levels to do in a couple of weeks/months and my attendance this year is 70%. i don't know what to do or think. | just got told on the phone i have an underactive thyroid. don't know what to think. | ae69lo | getting your underactive thyroid treated will likely give you a better idea of what’s going on. once the thyroid is treated, you’ll be able to notice which adhd symptoms, if any, go away. you might want to keep a journal to track symptom changes so you can have the clearest understanding possible about what’s going on. at the end of the day, figuring out the root cause of your symptoms will help you on the path to feeling better. if you don’t have adhd and your solution is just taking care of your thyroid, i think that would be great news for you. i would be so happy for you if you don’t have adhd since it, you know, blows. either way, you’re on track to figure things out and get the right treatment. i understand this is stressful and confusing, but i’m also happy and excited for you because i think this knowledge will contribute to you feeling better sooner. good luck! | adhd | ae69lo |
i have to remind myself not to try and get out of it, because its impossible. i just want to concentrate, i'm at work. now is not the time to revaluate everything about my life or if i should exist at all, i have responsibilities to discharge. constantly feeling incapable, like a failure, and shameful make it so hard to concentrate. | i'm in pain | 64m3dy | i'm the same way, i c a n n o t concentrate when i am in crisis, which is often. i've found the only thing that truly helps is unfortunately self care. it needs to happen daily, constantly. you must always keep self care in your top priority. | bpd | 64m3dy |
let me start with saying that i have never been clubbing, but i bartended for 2 years at a pub that had party's every saturday which from what i've been told was close to a club, loud music, lots of drunk people, hard to move etc i don't really enjoy the idea of being surrounded by drunk people, loud music and not being able to talk or move around with the people i am with and i am not the biggest fan of drinking, i would do shots just to get drunk but don't enjoy the actual taste of alcohol and would prefer not to drink it by choice, would it be bad of me not to hang out with my best mate for his birthday at the club just because it is not something that majorly interests me, i just feel like a dick thinking about it. | friend want's to go clubbing for birthday | 8zaogl | it doesn't necessarily have to be all or nothing. when it comes to stuff like this with folks (events or types of parties i don't enjoy) i make it a point to show up, wish them well. spend a little bit of time there and leave early. if i'm particularly close with the person i don't really need to make an excuse. just let them know it's not really my scene, tell them i hope they have a good time and i'll catch up with them soon. if i'm not so close with the person where i know they'd be understanding, i'll usually make up an excuse, "oh i'm sorry i can't stay. i have this (other thing) i have to get to. i just wanted to come out and see you for your birthday (or any other event). have a good time and i'll see you soon." while it's always important to be true to yourself, keeping social contacts and friendships alive sometimes require you to do things that are out of your comfort zone. there's also been plenty of times i went somewhere with the expectation that i wouldn't enjoy myself and planned on leaving early, only to end up having a great time and stay the duration. | socialskills | 8zaogl |
so i met this one girl a couple weeks before halloween (friend of a friend), and we ended up hooking up on halloween. after that we started dating for about a month+. she lived a bit away so i really only saw her once a week. we went on 4 dates, but each date was at least a full day plus. now this girl is extremely educated (2 masters degrees in biology) but i had a lot of trouble getting an intelligent conversation out of her. i still had fun on the dates, but i felt like i was the one making all the fun (at least afterwards). then on our last date (2 days long) as she left i had this feeling of :thank god she's gone" it's not like i didn't have fun, i don't know, i was just happy she was leaving. so later that week i decided to end it with her. it might be too late at this point, and things might be a little awkward, but should i reach out to her. i was super into her before the last date and i know she was really into me too. | did i [26/m] give up on her [27/f] too soon | 5klr37 | reach out if you're still interested | relationship_advice | 5klr37 |
guys/gals i'm really struggling here and would love some advice. the story is long and a bit bumpy but here goes. for ease of storytelling let's call her rachel, no comment on any of you rachel's out there i'm sure you're wonderful. a little profile of me, if you're curious. i'm an entj "commander", and i'm very motivated to get girls. i'm also a bit add, but have tended to fall in love hard in the past, which worked out quite poorly. since a little bit of particularly bad depression coinciding with the most recent breakup, i swore off long term dating going into college, and got a lot better at the shallower side of relationships. first off, we're both sophomores in college, but we met in freshman year. at orientation, no less. our orientation leader asks us our favorite song as a way to get to know each other, and i'm immediately attracted to her choice. and she's super cute in that girl-next-door kinda way, except probably prettier than you're thinking. now, i typically would have immediately at least said hi, but i wasn't the only guy interested- my best friend and roommate, a guy who to this day i don't understand why is single, saw and called dibs (yes, we do this) and i let him take his shot. i mean, i'm coming to freshman year of college. it wasn't like i wasn't gonna have options. so my roommate and i have our typical first couple weeks at college for a freshman. for maybe the first time in my life i know more girls than i can handle, and i'm going a little bit crazy. i'm sure you all know the feeling. my roommate and rachel are dating a bit, feeling and fooling around an actual relationship. being my roommates girl, i have casual conversations with her that feel quite flirty, but i consistently walk away cuz he's my best friend. but then he breaks it off because of what he sees/thinks i have, and i don't see rachel for a couple months. i see her one day at a dining hall and she's gorgeous. it's been awhile, my roommate has almost forgotten her (he initiated the breakup) and i decide to walk up to her, and got her number. we meet up again for dinner one night, and it's great, but then my guilt kicks in and i go sorta radio silence. i'm getting drunk one night just with my friends when i get a text asking me to come to a bar with her. i'm fairly intoxicated, and go to the bar. what followed is one of the best nights out of my life, as we danced and made out and had a wonderful time, eventually passing out on her friends couch. we get up the next morning and go out separate ways. after that night, we talk a bit more but busy lives get in the way and it's some time before we see each other, but a similar situation occurs. except this time, instead of a bar it's her room, and we hook up for the first time. and so we become fwb for a while, and the sex is frankly amazing. however, a month or so in she agrees to go to formal with a friend of a friend, and i think "ok we're not really a thing, she's free to do how she likes/who she likes" but the week before formal passes without me talking to her- i just feel awkward and don't have anything to say. when she gets back, you could hear the incoming bomb. "we need to talk" is all she would say. we meet, and initially i assume everything is ok, but she quickly dissolves into tears and berates me for not talking to her and talking about some other guy who can give her what she needs. it's a mess, but we both walk away from it. a week goes by and i've honestly been thinking about her a lot. we had great chemistry and the way she broke up with me had me feeling pretty shitty about myself. but she texts me one night out of the blue, all flirty, and we hook up that night without much talking. it turns out her other boy didn't pan out, and another mess plays out. we start dating after that conversation, as i'm legitimately too worked up and invested at this point to do otherwise. and it's great, mostly because her previous experience was really really bad in dating and she tries really hard to be right for me. we've had some great times together and i tried to be there for her as much as i can. but i am constantly plagued with the thought and need to break it off with her. i know for certain our lives are headed in very different directions, and i was never looking for a relationship in the first place. i got too emotional early and then too invested and the l word has been cut free far too soon, and i know she's very invested. the longer i wait the more i feel like it's going to explode, because she gets more invested and i guess i am too weak to be level with her. one of the things that bothers me most is how hard she tries for me, which i appreciate deeply but also feel like it prevents me from knowing who she actually is. she's been in long term relationships before, and i sometimes get the sense that she has them because she needs to be loved and not because she loves the guy. this is a college relationship- we don't even really know ourselves well enough to love another person. and above all i don't want to be in a long term relationship, for so many reasons. but on the flip side, she is a very rare, beautiful girl inside and out. she makes me laugh, she's passionate, artistic and has a way about her that makes you want to lift her up. she's dealt with some really bad circumstances growing up and currently, and i want to be there for that. she makes me feel good and i like her a lot. everything would be perfect if she were my best friend and not my girlfriend. so help me reddit, because my indecision is killing us should i stay or should i go? | should i stay or should i go? | 6aam70 | just show her this post: "once i heard her favorite song i immediately noticed her tits, but my friend said dibs no cutsies." it'll solve everything. | relationship_advice | 6aam70 |
despite the fact that i'm starting to make **some** progress in improving my life. it just feels like i'm faking my attempts to improve my life. as it stands i feel like my life doesn't really feel like " me " or that my life is really " mine ". the only thing that feels " genuine " is my loneliness i feel and the disrespect i get from the few people around me. i just feel like the only thing that is " real " is my suffering. | my attempts to improve my life just haven't felt " genuine " to me. | 2ewedn | your experience isn't uncommon. often as people come out of a depression their physical and motivation symptoms improve more quickly than their thoughts. it can be more obvious that improvement has occurred to an outside observer than to the depressed person! the other thing to point out here is that there is more to self than identification with thoughts. there is also a part of you which 'has' thoughts but is separate from them. you can call this 'awareness'. its important because often thoughts are not particularly accurate or 'true' and over identification with thoughts can make it hard to appreciate this. thoughts are often rigid, stereotyped, biased, etc but we don't see that this is true because we can't critique something we have difficulty appreciating objectively. do some cbt or act or other mindfulness based psychotherapy or take up mindfulness meditation and this will become clearer. | depression | 2ewedn |
hello, i’m currently in school for my bsn and in school we learned that patients with anxiety often have high levels of serotonin (in contrast with depression where serotonin levels are usually low) so i’m wondering then why a serotonin reuptake inhibitor is prescribed for those with anxiety when their serotonin levels would already be high? | why are ssri’s prescribed for anxiety? | 8ezvkb | we don't understand neurotransmission of affective disorders like depression and anxiety well. in fact, we barely know anything at all. from what i can see, this comes from one small study \([serotonin synthesis and reuptake in social anxiety disorder](WEBLINK)\). i've also seen at least one study that found anxiety could be replicated and ssri effect prevented by depleting synaptic serotonin, but i can't find it at the moment. at a very basic level, we don't know. we prescribe ssris because they seem to help, although not always and not always to the same degree. psychiatry is still much more empirical than mechanistic. | askdocs | 8ezvkb |
hey ya'll. anybody make the jump from 2mg to 5mg abilify? i was taking 2mg for about a month and thought it was going ok. so i asked the doctor if we could try 5mg to see if it'd work any better and he agreed. after like 4-5 days of taking the med i'm really anxious. has anybody experienced anything similar to this? can i expect this to go away/should i just be patient? i have already bothered my doc a bunch and i see him next week so i wanted to just ask here to see if maybe anyone had heightened anxiety on abilify before it started helping. thanks :) | question re: abilify dosage | 89i3yq | asking internet strangers about specific doses is a bad idea. this is worth a call to your doc. they can tell you to reduce, discontinue, or power through. | anxiety | 89i3yq |
i'm on a throwaway to disguise myself me and my gf have been dating for 9 months give or take and very early onto into a relationship i nearly left for another girl, but after telling her decided not to. now we have (what i thought was) a healthy relationship and even live together. fast forward to today she had a depressive break down (as she does at times and is diagnosed with chronic depression). well after i thought i had cheered her up she went to her dance class. soon after she had left she told me she had something to get off her chest. she told me she wanted an open relationship. i will paraphrase our conversation now. (i will be m and she will be f) f: "i want to have sex with other people...i want to be with you forever but good couples don't fuck other people...part of me is saying i just want to get back at you." m: "like you have urges to fuck some one or just thoughts?" f:"well nobody in particular i mean but like if someone i was attracted to was hinting at it or being flirty i know i would have a difficult time turning them down." m:"knowing you, i feel like if you did this it you wouldn't forgive yourself... and i really don't feel that would be healthy for our relationship." f:"well i mean i don't think i told you my ideal relationship would be an open one...idk i'm just kinky" m: no, i think you just have a high sex drive f:"but i would never ever without your permission/presence, and no i am just really kinky" she then left for her dance class but i sent some messages m:"the only way i am going to let this happen is if i know i am going to get atleast as much ass as you are... also if someone told you they wanted to have sex and you would have a hard time telling them no, you lack self control." she appears a while after f:"i would never do anything without atleast telling you but you're right i do lack self control that's why i like being with you. you keep me in check. if i was ever in a situation before this talk i would have thought about it but never acted upon it." m:"which one is it, because that's not what you said before? you said you would have trouble saying no." f:"i would have trouble but i wouldn't do it because you mean more to me than any piece of ass." m:"that's not what matters to me though. it bothers me just know that that could happen. i haven't really told you this because i didn't want to bother you but i am an extremely jealous person." f:"yeah me too i gtg" and then she went back to dance here i am now not knowing what to do or say and half terrified she will find this post somehow. tl;dr: girl friend wants to cuck me because she lacks self control what do | 18/m isn't sure if he wants open relationship with 18/f | 61wxg5 | open relationships almost never work. monogamy is too ingrained in us.... be careful. | relationship_advice | 61wxg5 |
m15, i have been noticing that sometime my nipples get a bit wet, when i look at my tshirt, it has a small dark stain on the part where the nipple was, is this normal for a male going through puberty? i feel extremely depressed, docs please respond. i take fluoxetine for drepession | please help me. is it normal for a male teen to produce a small amount of fluid from both breasts? m15, this is making me depressed | jxnk8j | some amount of discharge isn’t so rare during puberty among boys, but it can be something more serious. i wouldn’t worry, but i would discuss with your doctor. | askdocs | jxnk8j |
[male / 30 / 6`5" / 290lbs / smokes and drinks] i consider many people extremely sexy and a complete turn on. however the act of sexual behavior escapes me almost to the point of avoidance. i am not a virgin and am very sexually experienced however it is just unattractive for me. is this a chemical imbalance? | is it a hormone deficiency to desire love but not the sexual aspect of it? | ei2fu8 | low libido could be hypogonadism, meaning insufficient production of hormones, but that would have other signs as well. it also could just be how you’re wired. if it bothers you, you could seek medical assessment, although with caution about doctors who put everyone on testosterone. if it just seems like how you are and isn’t a problem, then it isn’t a problem. aside from the physical/chemical aspect, sex and libido are very psychological. again, it’s something you could choose to address with a number of forms of psychotherapy to understand why and maybe try to address it, but only if it’s something you’d want to do. | askdocs | ei2fu8 |
i always find myself browsing new posts on this sub and i always see people deleting comments and posts. it's funny to me that there's a grip of people like me that impulsively post shit and regret it 5 minutes later. blame it on the rsd baby! | something i've noticed about this subreddit that a lot of you do that makes me feel at home. | 9xcrbp | i notice my rsd is stroooooong on reddit in general! | adhd | 9xcrbp |
79 year old man, asian, did not drink or smoke. doc told me he had a cardiac arrest and other things like progressive sepsis, respiratory failure, shock which killed him. he had bad lungs from age but how did all of this hit him at once. he was on a steroid for his respiratory system because he always had congestion. what are those things the doc told me and did they trigger each other like a domino affect. i had to pump his chest and blood kept coming out of his nose and mouth. he was talking to me in the morning as we were ready to go to the hospital and he suffered the cardiac arrest while i was putting his boots on. | grandfather passed away today. doc told me how but i was too heartbroken to listen. how did these things all occur at once? | 9r66t6 | sepsis is overwhelming infection, and it can cause death by septic shock, which means blood pressure too low survive, and death can happen quickly from "circulatory collapse" meaning the heart can't pump enough to keep any organs working. that includes respiratory failure. the choice of words is a little strange, but that's my best guess: an infection, maybe one made worse by the immunosuppressive effects of the steroids he was on, that became overwhelming and killed him. the rest of the words can describe individual organ system failures but they're just listing different parts of death. | askdocs | 9r66t6 |
i’m tagging this as a success story because i feel like i have some answers. i ordered my medical records from my doctors office out of state. when i went through them, i learned that i was diagnosed with ocd 4 years ago. for some reason, i had only ever been told i have anxiety and depression (that was the focus). rather than being frustrated that i was not told this, i feel relieved, like i have an answer. now i understand more why i dwell on so many things, and why i focus on certain aspects of my health. it helped. | the importance of seeing your health records | hafd7t | i'm frustrated for you that you weren't able to learn this sooner, but i'm glad that this has provided you some relief! and there is more good news: ocd can absolutely be treated, although you want to make sure that you find a therapist who knows what they're doing. if you decide to pursue treatment, look into exposure response prevention (erp). | healthanxiety | hafd7t |
tl;dr- if i choose to get help and i end up getting diagnosed with depression, there's a good chance it would end my career. i'm writing this because i've reached a point in my life where i'm completely unsatisfied with where my life is at, but i have no idea of how to fix it. i'm a mid-20's male, i have a stable job flying for the military, i'm healthy, and i'm pretty much financially secure. a lot of people would want to be where i am, and yet i am completely miserable. without going into my entire backstory, i feel like i've always had some low-level depression growing up. i was shy, introverted, and had few friends, and very little interest or enjoyment in any sports or hobbies. i powered through it until i was done with college, thinking that "as soon as i get to x, things will pick up". except that now there's no next milestone in sight, and i'm left with an unrewarding job, no real friends, and very little passion or motivation to do anything beyond basic needs. i finally got to a point where i thought "if i keeled over right now, how long would it take for anyone to find me?", and i realized that i could be dead for the better part of a week before i was discovered. i look at myself and what i see disgusts me. i feel like i'm so far behind in life, and have so many varied issues that i don't even know where to start fixing things. when my appearance, personality, social life, and interests are all terrible or non-existent, and all my attempts to improve have failed, how do i get out of this? i realized i probably need professional help, but therein lies the problem. as part of my career as a military aviator, i need to report any treatment or counseling for mental health issues. if i were to be diagnosed with an actual mental disorder that requires treatment, such as depression, i could be taken off of flying status permanently with no way of seeking a waiver. my career in the military would be effectively over, and so would any possibility of continuing to fly as a civilian. so, i can either learn to deal with being miserable, as i have been doing, and continue to have a career and be self-sufficient. or, i can roll the dice on seeking help, and if what i have is permanent and requires treatment, my career is over and i would effectively be disabled. | i need help, but i'm afraid of the consequences of getting it | 68daex | i would recommend finding a counselor you feel comfortable with, and paying cash for a few sessions to see if it helps at all. paying cash and keeping it off the insurance keeps your counselor from having to give you an "official" diagnosis. plenty of people seek counseling for life stressors that would not necessarily be considered serious mental disorders, but for insurance purposes counselors have to assign a diagnosis to get paid. if you ethically feel as though it's something you would need to report to your employer, that's a decision you would have to make on your own. source: am licensed professional counselor | mentalhealth | 68daex |
so i've written 3 songs, but i don't know where to start. i'm not even sure if the people would like it, but i'm taking my chances and hope for the best i'll be as good as all the other artists. i'm asking for advice because i don't know if youtube is a good place to start because people could steal my work or something. and what now after that? haha. all advice is useful and i'd love to hear them all, thanks :) | advice in starting as a songwriter or a "singer" | 4kdhmk | perform at open mic's. you need performance experience and real-time feedback. play in other people's bands to observe how to be a band leader. learn how all of the instruments in the band work so that when you want to orchestrate your songs you don't have to depend on the individual musicians to write tasteful parts -- because they won't on their own. do not move to some big music industry city -- no one will pay any attention to you. remember you are one of literally millions of people who would like to be a performer. you need to stand out and know your shit to get heard. | needadvice | 4kdhmk |
maybe i am projecting, but i feel like if i developed successful social skills, i would feel free and not come back to this subreddit. so from your experiences at what stage are you? did you just subscribe to the subreddit because you one day felt desperate and arrived here and took a first step? or are you actually using the online resources on the right? if so, is it actually working? do you feel like everyone else is working and helpful? or has this subreddit turned into an equivalent of /r/foreveralone? a void of darkness of sarcastic humour where every post gives you a little laugh, only to bring you down another 3 steps? if this is helpful, give me some tips on managing my way around here. i used to be a very devout fundamentalist muslim in the west, and because of that i avoided all forms of vice. i have now awoken and cleared my mind of islam, but i also realize that i've lost some 20 some odd years of my life avoiding girls and other people and it's finally coming back to bite me right when i need it the most. | do you find that this subreddit actually helps? | 1yd5zu | /r/socialskills is designed to be for everyone, whether you feel confident or super awkward. the fact is that we all have room for improvement, and we all have advice to offer. maybe you struggle with many social skills, but you can still give advice or encouragement on some areas you don't struggle with. or maybe you've grown a lot socially and have lots to offer, but you can still get ideas for future growth. basically no matter where you're at, hopefully you have an opportunity to give something, and an opportunity to learn something here :) | socialskills | 1yd5zu |
i must say its like getting a fog lifted from my brain almost like from thinking 30 things you think about 2\~1. hard to explain it but 1 hour after taking my meds (focalin xr) i had a sense of euphoria for about a hour and half. and then it stopped and got more things down around the house. overall a really pleasant surprise! | first day on adhd meds | erxddg | i take adderall xr. my first day was getting used my mind actually being quiet and calm. it’s actually reduced my anxiety too. i don’t think i ever got euphoria. i did feel tired for a few days! the biggest thing was completing tasks i started. i also was able to sustain a conversation despite numerous distractions. definitely keep track of eating. you have to remind yourself to eat. | adhd | erxddg |
hello, i am hoping that someone can send me in the right direction for seeing a therapist, as there are many different specialties and classifications. i don't suffer from depression or anxiety, and seeing a therapist isn't a pressing need in my life, but i think it would be beneficial for me to go to discuss things from my past that i've buried deep down. in essence, i wouldn't be going to therapy for any specific reason (e.g., i haven't lost a loved one, i'm not depressed, i haven't gone through a traumatic event or breakup, etc.). it just feels like the right thing to do to go talk to a licensed professional, rather than a friend or family member. are certain therapists better suited for a more general need like mine? appreciate any help. | need direction on finding a therapist. | ezwhc5 | i would say that overall, the most important things you can do is to find a therapist you think you would connect with. if they have an online profile or website, does what they say about how they work connect with you? 2nd, finding a therapist that workable for you. do they take your insurance if you plan on using it. do they have availability on a day/time that would work well for you? are they located somewhere that is relatively easy to get to for you? this way, as things get tough, you don't have too many excuses to tell yourself not to go. if you've never been in therapy before, focus primarily on these things. if you think you need a certain kind of specialist, talk to your current therapist about it. they'll be able to guide you much better. | askatherapist | ezwhc5 |
long story short, we love each other very much, and my fiance is very much a teacher and a "guidance counsellor" for the kids at her school. she's very insightful and very thoughtful. one example of what happens is that, i didn't ask my boss to take two weeks off in the summer for our honeymoon. nothing was established yet but i wanted to at least get the time officiated. anyhow, i didn't do it because i was waiting for my boss to go down the seniority list, and i am the last person. my fiance tells me i should have more initiative and be more gutsy saying i should just email him anyways, and that i should just be more assertive and proactive in general. i will admit that i am the laid-back type who assumes things will go right, and i definitely have been very lucky - with both getting a decent job, and actually getting the crush of 10 years to love me. but besides that, i struggle with this. the moment she criticizes me, i get all defensive and start making up excuses (sometimes they don't always line up). more often times than not, she is criticizes my driving, my cleanliness, and other things. i definitely and not perfect, and she isn't either - but i find myself letting go of little things that would generally bother a normal person. i don't have anything against her for criticizing me as she has good intentions, but is it wrong for me to suddenly get defensive when criticizes? any tips on taking it well, or responding to it? emotionally, i can become unstable, and i suddenly become really depressed and i don't want to listen to anything else she has to say. it's really childish. what do you guys think? tdlr: fiance criticizes and i turn into a ball of sadness, as well as being defensive. any tips with fixing this? | i [28/m] struggle with being criticized by my fiance[27/f] | 5snplz | there has to be balance between constructive civil criticism and positivity. see a therapist together if things are stuck | relationship_advice | 5snplz |
i have been seeing my psychiatrist for about 4 months now. she has been leaning towards a diagnosis, but had to wait for me to turn in a self-assessment. i discussed it with her last night and just asked for a diagnosis and prescription, she agreed and is starting me with 20mg of vyvanse for ten days! i am so excited, i cam finally going to get this under control! is there anything i should know going in (other than what my psych told me about the possible side effects)? i'd love to hear other people's experiences with it. | i got an official diagnosis and prescription for vyvanse yesterday! what is yall's experience with vyvanse? | 7d5mic | i have been taking vyvanse since 2007. started with 50mg and am now at 70mg after 10 years. it has been amazing. my experience with side effects has been minimal...some dry mouth, shortness of breath (very rare) and of course not being hungry. one heads up is that you need to get your prescription filled like clock work. i only have a 30 day rx and if a pharmacy is delayed then i would go a day or so without. i sometimes skip a dose on the weekends as back up. wish you the best and hope it works for you too! | adhd | 7d5mic |
so i’ve made it 3 weeks since my last drink. i thought i’d check in with you good folks with my observations. i suppose i’m what’s often termed a ‘functioning alcoholic ‘. holding down a job, not lost a spouse or home to drink. but we all know it’s only a matter of time. alcohol is a greedy thief. my 20 years of drinking that started when i was 17 had to stop before i did start to lose the things that matter most to me. i’ve had good days and bad days in the past 3 weeks. some days i’ve had cravings some days not. on the tough days checking in here has definitely kept me from hitting the bottle. making a promise to you all that i will not drink, while we fight through each day together. as an additional bonus, my bank account isn’t draining as quickly as i’m used to. plus, living in scotland, drinking just got a whole lot more expensive with the minimum price per unit. i am more determined than ever to succeed in staying sober this time. i had a dream last night i got wasted and was so disappointed in myself. i actually thought in the dream about confessing here and resetting my badge. absolute relief when i woke. i take this as a healthy sign that my mind is fighting against these patterns and habits that i have indulged and cultivated for 2 decades. whether this is day 1, 100 or 1000 for you, please keep up the fight. remain part of this community and let’s get better together. have a lovely sober day. i promise iwndwyt. | 3 weeks in. thoughts. | 8gp27p | well done. i have had similar dreams and the relief whuch follows. | stopdrinking | 8gp27p |
my wife's alcohol usage waxes and wanes over a given month. she is currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for her social anxiety issues. at one point in our relationship, after her father passed away she was drinking 6-7 nights a week and by 9:30pm had fallen asleep / passed out on the couch. i told her i wouldn't have children if she kept up that behavior and she cleaned up her act and cut consumption down to better levels (3 nights a week, maybe one to excess). she went dry through the pregnancy and during breastfeeding with minimal issues (she was able to quit smoking cold turkey before we got married). she is a rockstar at self control except when she has a drink. once she is slightly buzzed, her consumption rate accelerates, and i have to bargain / share the drink with her to get her to stop. i used to keep up with her for support immediately following her dad's passing, but as i watched her drink more and more, i had to step away completely from it to lead by example and not enable (though i still enable in someways by inaction). this morning, i had to work early to solve a critical problem. i listened to our daughter cry in her crib for 25 minutes while my wife laid on the couch still passed out. after 5 minutes, i woke my wife up and went back to work, after 15, i came upstairs again and she huffed that she was up. 10 minutes after that i finally here the crying start to die down (my wife must have showered/washed up/possibly thrown up first). currently, my wife drinks for 4 nights, and is off for two nights (because i force it). i don't know if she speaks honestly with her therapist or psychiatrist about her alcohol consumption. i am 95% sure, she talks about social anxiety issues related to work and family. what happens if i tell them about this? she wants to have another kid, and the thought of it actually makes me cringe / kills my sex drive. on the bright side, it would be nice to have her not drinking for over a year like last time, but i really wouldn't want it to start right back up. we have discussed it multiple times but i just can't go it alone anymore. she is proud of the fact she doesn't drink 7 nights a week anymore and that she has the ability to "control" it, but mornings like this are just really rough for me to keep fighting. she admitted that she "over did it" and will she probably will not drink tonight. i want someone else in my corner encouraging her to continue to reduce the consumption, or eliminate for therapeutic reasons (preferred). **edit:** i have never been to the therapist or psychiatrist. this would be me cold-calling the office. i need to get back to work and won't be able to respond until later in the afternoon. oh, and before it is suggested, **no, she didn't sneak it during pregnancy/breastfeeding**, and she doesn't sneak it now (with the exception of waiting for me to go to bed so she can "stay up for a little while watching tv"). ****update: **** i have spoken with my wife and she is stepping back from drinking for a while. i am still debating whether to call her therapist or not. | should i[35m] tell my wife's[36f] therapist about her alcohol consumption? | 4brxr9 | therapist here. if her therapist has any sort of ethical boundaries, technically she will refuse to speak to you at all, since ethically and legally she is prevented from doing so by privacy laws and confidentiality. my suggestion would be to sit down with your wife and suggest a family therapy session, where you can express these concerns, but because your wife is the client, she must be the one to bring this up to the therapist. now, if your wife has previously signed a release that allows the therapist to speak with you, then you can discuss this. | relationship_advice | 4brxr9 |
im sorry if this isnt the right sub. i was just in inpatient a few months ago and it was very traumatic and counterproductive as most inpatients are. above all else i want to be free from institutions til i kill myself this summer/fall. would it be an automatic trip to the er if i tell a professional this? all my friends (theyre all online) know this and ive been reassuring them i will be making the right decision, but no one irl knows. please dont tell me there is hope, i know theres hope for me and everyone else like me, but thank you for being kind. | should i tell a professional that i plan to kill myself in few months? will that land me in impatient immediately? | figraj | where do you live? i am answering as a psychologist in the us, and will respect your request that you not be told there is hope. i wouldn't send someone to the hospital if they planned suicide "in a few months ." in a perfect world , impatient treatment would exist for that level of hopelessness, but in the us, the er is only for imminent danger. having plan or intent is a serious concern, and does have to be explored. it is possible that as your date or timeframe comes closer , or if you make specific arrangements that increase lethality, your imminent danger would be re-assessed. you may be asked to safety plan. it sounds like you are open to therapy since you are asking this question . what support are you looking for ? what would therapy look like to you in a perfect world? | askatherapist | figraj |
about two months ago a guy asked me to be exclusive. he wanted to date and get to know each other without seeing other people. now, i kind of feel like it's fading out. do i need to have a talk with him to break things off, and vice versa? or is this something that we can just let fade? what is the proper protocol for ending something that isn't "official" but still exclusive? | exclusivity | 6mvbla | always talk and be direct. always | relationship_advice | 6mvbla |
i have found that putting the kibbosh on my bottom line behaviors has given me more free time. suddenly, i'm no longer longer spending so many hours obsessing and planning and spinning my wheels... instead, i have to find healthy ways to occupy myself and positive coping skills to keep myself busy when i get antsy. since i've committed to not dating for a year while i focus on my recovery, it really opens wide some possibilities for me. how will i spend this time? personally, i want to finish my undergrad degree in 2017. i also want to choose a grad program and apply to it. i'd like to learn to meditate, too, instead of wanting to crawl out of my skin when i'm alone with myself. i want to go to meetings (at least 4 a month, hopefully a lot more) and to work on my codependency issues. i also want to try taking a short trip alone - not to visit anyone - just to prove to myself that i am company enough. finally, i am determined to make it one full year without dating. what do you aim to do in 2017?? | are you sober or in recovery? what are you looking forward to doing in 2017? | 5kt324 | i will be finishing my master's degree and starting a new career path. i'm also looking to check out different meetings and find new ways to deepen my spiritual practice. and, i'd like to bring more joy and fun into my day-to-day life rather than continuing to put it off with "once i finish doing *xyz* i'll finally try this". | redditorsinrecovery | 5kt324 |
28, 190 lbs, 6'0 tall. white male. healthy. post-surgery. duration: just starting various addictions run in my family on both sides. i've avoided basically anything that isn't caffeine my entire life because of that. i'm going to be on painkillers for the next month. i just got out of surgery and the pain was/is immense, so i don't really see not taking pills as an option. how do i not ruin my life once this is all over? | how do i avoid addiction on a long term prescription? | 9hfy1j | the answer is simple, though not necessarily easy: stop taking the pills when you're done. in more detail, don't take more than you absolutely need, and try non-opioid painkillers as much as possible. tylenol is usually an option; nsaids like ibuprofen may be, depending on the surgery, and hopefully you got some guidance about that. you can combine both at the same time! also recognize that after surgery some pain is normal and okay. it shouldn't be unbearable, some there's also some onus on you to bear some pain. you didn't say what the surgery was or why you're going to be on painkillers for a month, but that concerns me. there are very few procedures that require a month of prescription pain medication, and if you had something like that i would think that someone might want to provide closer monitoring and management. | askdocs | 9hfy1j |
i'll start off by saying i am scared of spiders, i totally get being scared of spiders but this was just a dick move. just looked out of my front window to see a woman holding an envelope flapping around in my front garden. knew instantly what it was, there are two garden spiders that have made their homes either side of the front door and she was just in my garden flailing around fucking destroying them... like what the fuck? this is not your house, that is not your decision to make! they weren't blocking the entrance in any way, you just had to walk past them but instead you decided to just fuck up their webs, nice! my little boy has been talking about those two spiders every time we go out the door, he loves seeing them and having little spider friends outside. and i don't fucking like spiders, again, i get it. but they were outside? doing nothing? just leave them alone! i know this is an absolutely ridiculous thing to be so annoyed about but it's just really irritated me that that woman thought her feelings for two seconds were more important than two spiders and the hours they put into those webs and yeah, she couldn't have known the people in the house had any particularly strong feelings about those spiders but i just don't get why. hope the spiders are alright and manage to get their webs sorted. you don't have to like things to understand they have a right to be left alone. | some woman just killed my spiders | 72l7i1 | are you in an apartment? wtf who goes onto another person's property to kill spiders? | offmychest | 72l7i1 |
so about two weeks ago or so i got back into contact with an old friend of mine. long story short: she's pretty, nerdy, incredibly sweet, and before she moved away i had one hell of a crush on her. but she was also a really good friend, so i would be perfectly happy just to have that. only one problem: she's ghosted me. no replies to my messages for over a week now. and i'm hella confused. because that is completely out of character for her, i can't imagine her ever doing something like that. i suppose she could have changed significantly since we last talked but even from the messages she sent before dissapearing that didn't seem like the case. i'm dissapointed and extremely confused. advice? | still confused about an old friend [update] | 73rhog | it's impossible to know what's in someone's head. maybe contact mutual friends and see if she is ok. | relationship_advice | 73rhog |
the girl i'm with is a beautiful estonian russian girl who's fierce and fun but i am graduating university whereas she's starting and i could change my life to stay near but i'm always tempted by the exciting life i used to lead. do i stick with it or give up on dating till i'm older? | no matter how great the girl i date and constantly getting restless in a relationship and craving freedom, 22y | 6cg4b8 | guess you're not ready to settle down! | relationship_advice | 6cg4b8 |
remember before you got in a relationship with an ex, you were most likely fine and enjoyed your life and hobbies. when you first broke up, oh boy did it sting, and suddenly all you could think about was every single positive thing that happened and suddenly they were an angel walking on earth that did nothing bad to you. then, some times goes by, a few weeks... months... and eventually you realise not only are you fine, and happy again.. but realise that you were not meant to be with that person - clearly otherwise you wouldn’t have split up. of course this doesn’t correlate in every aspect, especially if you got dumped, but if you got dumped then that person wasn’t the one and you’ve had to deal with it and move on. weed is like a comfortable but not healthy relationship, where you’re clouded by the positives and ignore the negatives. try and remember any negative feelings or experiences you had whilst smoking weed and use that as motivation to stop. for me, i can remember being paranoid that i was doing things to hurt my friends, or even just making up crazy scenarios of how anything in my life could go wrong. i also remember the times where after a long night of smoking, i would feel so incredibly ill, my throat would feel all closed up and tight.. and i’d wonder why i’d bothered getting so stoned - yet go back to it the next day. think of your wallet!!! i’ve realised over ~5 years smoking that i’d spent close to £25,000 on weed - and not to mention the silly amount i’ve spent on food at the same time. remember the times before you got into smoking and remember that there is a version of yourself that doesn’t need to be high. big love. | treat weed like it’s your ex | f5ziqj | i fucked up last night and am at day 1 again. my boyfriend said it was up there with cheating. it really is like an ex | leaves | f5ziqj |
i notice that other women are more emotionally expressive, and are very good at building trust and comfort. people have told me that women who have 'grown into' their femininity or are just naturally feminine act as social glues and are great at hosting, entertaining, catching social cues, building and maintaining relationships, etc. so... i'm the complete opposite of all the above and have to put in a lot of work to just be emotionally expressive, and get people to feel at ease around me. when i'm around other girls i feel so out of place. i don't feel like i belong with guys either, so i'm confused about which 'energy' i project and gravitate to the most. because of this i don't feel like i have a strong sense of self and have a very difficult time connecting to people. it's a surprise that i even managed to have relationships at this point but mostly because i befriend extroverts who do most of the emotional labor. i want to contribute more but i really have a tough time in social situations and leading a conversation. please help, for anyone who has some insight. | pressure to be a 'woman' | 8zpyw0 | i work at an agency that primarily serves the lgbt community. i participated in a great workshop talking about masculine identities. it made me realize that i don't necessarily believe that anything is inherently "manly" or "womanly". although a lot of folks do ascribe to societal and cultural gender norms.... nothing is written that you have to. i think we're all a combination of stereotypically masculine and feminine traits regardless of our gender. for instance... i'm a cisgender guy. i have some stereotypical masculine traits.... i'm a protector, i can be aggressive when need be, i love sports and i'm extremely competitive. on the other hand, i'm a therapist. my job is to be intuitive, emotionally supportive, caring, and a good listener. i'm damn good at what i do and i love it, though all of these are stereotypical feminine traits. in my marriage, i do most of the cooking and probably most of the crying during movies. (coco had me near bawling). none of that makes me feel like any less of a man, because for me, what "being a man is" is what i decide for myself, not society. you get to decide what being woman is to you, if you even really want to identify as such. when it comes to friendships and relationships, everyone has their own preferences in what they're looking for in friends and romantic partners. be true to yourself and sure enough, you'll be able to find the people who are looking for someone just like you! | socialskills | 8zpyw0 |
crossposted because i think i might need as much advise as i can get >i am 17 and i have what i would call an intermediate experiance with alchohol and have only been drunk i would say more than 4. but less than 15 times and have only been drinking for about 2 months. > i know its kinda the purpose of alcohol but it seems like only when im "under the influence" do i not have any of the seemingly constant worries i have. "everyone's having more fun than you, you cannot talk to girls, you are going to waste your teenage years, you will be forgotten like billions of other ceased consciousnesses" etc. is this normal? like i have anxiety but am afraid to tell my parents because i feel like they will see it as another reason to fight. i have already been diagnosed with adhd and ocd, and my mom has those and anxiety, and my dads a high functioning alcoholic just like his mother,(he's the one who taught me that tequila doesn't leave a smell on your breath haha) so i don't know where i fit in on this. like monday was the first day i actually craved alcohol, it was all i could think about last block (period) that day. but for some reason when i got home, as soon as i saw my cat it went away. >i have on and off depression that is sparked by events like anxiety and my dad yelling at me. and i think i might have been moderatly depressed since elementary school. i often feel like emotionally monitone. >is this a bad sign? the main reason im worried is mainly because i don't have a lot of money right now, and i don't want to waste it all. and my mom has been secretly "about to divorce" my dad as far as i can remember, i dont wanna be the straw that breaks the camels back. >thanks for your input, sorry for the wall of text. | is it normal to only feel "happy" when drunk? | 80swtv | lots of alcoholics in aa meetings talk about the first drink and how it immediately gave them the feelings you’re describing. you’re at high risk, i’m sorry to say. more importantly from my perspective: now is the time you need to be learning how to navigate difficult situations in healthy ways; aside from your potential for addiction, if you start using alcohol to enjoy yourself now you may never properly figure out how to do it without. that’s a very scary thought if you think about how many years you have ahead of you. | mentalhealth | 80swtv |
hello, two nights ago, my cat somehow found a bat and brought it into my room. it was dark, i was barefoot, i remember trying to get my cat away from the bat and then throwing something on top of it. i don't recall feeling like it touched me or bit me. i contacted animal control, and they came and picked up the bat to have it tested. they told me to get him a rabies booster shot so i did. i didn't sleep at all that night, and since then i haven't felt the best. my back and head hurt, and my whole body aches. the vet told me i technically wasn't exposed so i didn't need to get the vaccine. and i thought after sleeping i would get better. but i don't feel any better, i feel worse. could it be sleep deprivation causing these symptoms? i also don't feel super hungry. i posted on here yesterday in regards to drinking from a bottle cap that had some funky stuff on it. didn't notice it until after i had taken two sips. i'm just having a rough couple of days and i don't know what to do. i am 26, f. 195 pounds. no pre existing health conditions. i don't drink often, i don't smoke, and i don't do drugs. | bats and rabies | gy4re0 | you would not have any symptoms from rabies exposure at this point. what you're experiencing is probably loss of sleep and anxiety, but there's always the chance that you caught some unrelated bug in the meantime. rabies has to physically travel along nerves, not by bloodstream, so exposure in your feet gives you the longest possible time before treatment is needed anyway. the results on the bat will be back long before then. but also, the chance of being bitten without noticing when you are awake and aware of it is small, and there's of course a good chance that it's a healthy but unlucky bat that your cat caught. | askdocs | gy4re0 |
25[f] 119lbs (54.1kg) 5’6 (178cm) canada. concern: mental health (questions about ativan and clonazepam). medical concerns: anxiety, depression, ednos no smoking/drinking/drugs. long term medication: lamotragene 200mg pm, cipralex 20am, dexedrine 15mg. i’ve been abusing ativan for a while; 10mg/day, and then after a larger dose i went semi-unconscious after a dbt group and my therapist called 911. this was wednesday afternoon, and i was cleared from medical and moved to a short term psych unit on thursday afternoon. the psychiatrist stopped me cold turkey from the ativan and gave me 1mg clonazepam in the morning and i *think* at bedtime. the clonazepam is making me feel dizzy and sick, and is not relieving the anxiety and cravings at all. i’m feeling incredibly anxious and suicidal and the cravings for ativan feel unmanageable. he said that the risks of seizure has passed, and i’m likely going to be discharged tomorrow, but this new med regime does not feel helpful to keep the ativan cravings at bay and i’m getting desperate thinking about anything i could get at home to act similar to ativan (benadryl?). the nurses don’t agree that i’m ready to go home because of the risk of relapse after only 2 days. so doctors, i know you’re not specialized psychiatrists but i hope you can still help me, or offer some advice. i don’t know what questions to be asking the psychiatrist (we don’t seem to have the best rapport) and he was quite straightforwardly judgemental (vocal) of the fact that i’m a middle school teacher who is irresponsible enough to abuse ativan (please spare me the lecture too). i’ve been spending most of the day crying in bed and trying to work through my dbt workbook with the support of the incredible nurses. does anyone have any suggestions on what i can be asking my doctor and if this regime seems normal? (stopping 10+mg ativan a day and replacing with 1mg clonazepam 2x day). does anyone have any advice on making the process easier. i’m working on my dbt book, but i’m so distracted by the cravings and nausea that it’s hard. | please help! hospitalized for ativan od/abuse | e0r2vn | the necessary dose of clonazepam is enough to keep you from having physically dangerous withdrawal. if your vital signs are okay, they're okay. clonazepam will not, and should not, be dosed to make you feel fine, because something wasn't fine when you were taking too much ativan. there is, unfortunately, no fix for that in a pill bottle. maybe anti-nausea medication would help, but my guess is that it's mostly driven by anxiety and wanting something to cover up the anxiety, and benzos are what will help—in the short term. in the long term, you've already run into how that doesn't work well. it may be that what you need now is more intensive treatment for a substance use disorder. that isn't best provided inpatient. outpatient dbt may include that, but there are other forms of substance treatment. | askdocs | e0r2vn |
i am 25 years old. i weigh around 270lbs. i suffer from epilepsy, and my seizures were treated for a few years until ihad one two days ago. i had lamictal upped. my doctor said i may have to go on depakote if lamictal does not work. i hear a lot about depakote. i was wondering about the weight gain issue. how does it actually work? why do people gain weight? does it slow their metabolism down? is it because it makes people more hungry? i would like to know | depakote how does it get you to gain weight | 54as49 | the mechanism isnt completely clear, but theres a definite association with weight gain. that's as much as we can say. its a pretty good drug though. | askdocs | 54as49 |
hello, me and a friend decided to try out a romantic relationship. it was his idea and the feelings came from his part, and i agreed to try it because i thought it would be unfair to not give it a go. however, i'm not a very affectionate person and not too keen on romance, so after a bit of research and talking with others i think i'm aromantic? he is a good and sweet friend and we have alot in common, so i know he won't judge me or be rude or whatever but i want to end the romantic aspect of our relationship and keep the platonic- how do i explain my situation to him? edit: i meant "aromantic" not aromatic. my apologies | i might be aromatic but i dont know how to explain | 6dh8ck | "aromatic": adj. having a pleasing smell. | relationship_advice | 6dh8ck |
so i have been dating a fantastic girl for a little over 8 months. she is amazing, talented, beautiful, funny, and the best person i could ever ask for. she told me that she is in love with me a few weeks ago and i'm not in love with her. i don't constantly think about her, i don't feel in pain if i'm not with her, and i'm just not in love with her. she keeps confronting me about how i'm not in love with her and she's getting a bit upset because she's always heard that guys fall in love first. i really do want to be in love with her because she's so amazing and i really do like her. what do i do? | [19/m] i want to love her [19/f] but it's not happening... | 1groky | you get to define what love is, and your post keeps coming back to some construct of what you're "supposed to" feel, else it doesn't count. that just isn't accurate or valid. if you think she's great and cool and attractive and you like the idea of doing coupley stuff in a long-term sense, then i'm not sure what else you'd really be looking for. | relationship_advice | 1groky |
basically, there are lots of times where i don't feel like i can bring stuff up to my boyfriend when i am having issues. it's nothing he's done, i'm just afraid i'm going to be too negative and push him away. i feel like if i directly said the things i'm having problems with, he would leave me because he would get sick if it. so sometimes i think like "oh what if i wrote a really concerning diary entry about wanting to off myself and conveniently left my diary open so he would see it" sort of thing. it's like i'm inadvertently trying to make everything about me. but i don't want to directly tell him and make him concerned. i want to do something like i said above so he thinks "omg she didn't tell me this she must really be hurting right now". it's almost like i don't want to say anything to get the attention i want, but i want to drop majorly obvious hints (like the diary thing) and act like i never wanted him to find out (even though that's my main goal). it just feels like i've talked about my problems so much so i want him to be scared for me and be actually concerned and flustered over making sure i am okay. but then i don't go through with it because i feel i'm being too selfish and ridiculous. | dae think of leaving subtle "clues" to your bpd instead of talking about it? | 8s97y4 | thaaaaaaats manipulation! unfortunately. try to be direct and you will get results. trying to beat around the bush just makes something that's realty hard to understand even harder to understand | bpd | 8s97y4 |
i want and know i need to start receiving some treatment for my mental health but i'm not sure where to start. i've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time and no longer feel like it is manageable on my own. i'm not sure who i should go to first. should i go to a general practitioner and get guidance what to do from there? should i start with a therapist or counselor? a psychologist? how do i go about finding the right one? any advice is welcome, and thank you very much for your time. | seeking mental health help but not sure where to start | 5vtnkq | some demographics would probably help. usually it's the gp you'd first turn to, though. | askdocs | 5vtnkq |
wish me luck. i need to stop for health and sanity reasons so here we go. | not drinking at a wedding | 94lzoa | you can do it. make a plan for it. i've done two recently. eating lots, drinking lots of diet coke, and going for walks during the event helped me. didn't stop my feet being sore from high heels though, lol.....👠 iwndwyt | stopdrinking | 94lzoa |
throughout high school i was extremely motivated, because i had a specific goal; to go away to university for a specialized program. i saved a ton of money, got great grades, collected a few small scholarships, and went away. however, due to the fact that the university was extremely expensive and i was experiencing debilitating anxiety from all the pressure, i decided to move home after a month. i spent the year at my old restaurant job, got a role as a supervisor and enjoyed the change of pace from academic to hands on. i also starting dating someone and got into my first serious relationship, and life was good. i applied to the local community college, and wrote an essay that won me a scholarship that covers almost all of the cc's tuition. i went on a great adventure to another city with my boyfriend, and for most of the year this was the goal i looked forward to, planning and saving for the trip. fast forward to now, i have been broken up for 3 weeks. i ultimately realized that my hope that my bf would change into someone more ambitious, who wanted more than a minimum wage job, was just a fantasy. that break up was hard because i lost my best friend and main source of support, but i've reached out to old friends and made some new ones and i'm starting to do ok in that department, though i'm still not fulfilled. the program i chose to do in college is proving to be extremely dull, at least the first year, because the foundation classes are so basic and i took advanced courses in high school. it makes me wonder if i should have gone to university, and think that i'm limiting myself due to fear. i want to find other things to do with the surplus of time i have not studying, something fulfilling like volunteering, but i can't find anything. i do run and do yoga sometimes, which are nice, but i still have so much extra time. my old friends from high school have done cool things, been accepted to pharmacy school, designed video games, are completing advanced degrees, etc. i feel so far behind and like they pity me. most of the courses i'm taking at college probably won't transfer to a university. i can do degree completion afterwards, but only for environmental science or applied management. i'm interested in a lot of things; the law, finance, landscape architecture, psychology. but i'm afraid to commit to any of them. i don't even want to date until i figure out who i am, but i don't know how to find that. cc is not like university, there aren't many opportunities to go out with friends or join clubs. tldr; my life lacks meaning and feels empty. i want some goals but can't commit to any. help. edit: thank you so much for all the replies. i've been inspired to start a blog and you guys have all pushed me in the right direction! this was my first post on reddit, i wasn't sure what to expect but the support is nice and it got me thinking, so thank you. | [text] turning 20 in a month, want a goal but feel totally lost and unchallenged. | 53cllm | once you progress a bit more in your college program your classes will get a lot more interesting. everyone has to take the basic classes, so they're just not as interesting by default. you've got a lot of interests, and you're literally in the perfect place to explore them all. why not take just one psychology class? look up the requirements for any, any degree program and see if the classes sound interesting. and any college worth its salt will have advisers ready to help you decide what classes to take. and look into other universities too, if you feel like that cc isn't going anywhere. and if you take a class that you don't end up pursuing the program for, so what? college is about more than just getting a degree, it's about learning and growing as a person. one of my favorite classes in college was poetry, and i was a science major. right now is your time to explore a million different directions to find a few that you like. the goals will come after that. and if you're too impatient to find a goal you like, hell, just pick one and see where it goes. there is always time to drop that and pick a new one later. | getmotivated | 53cllm |
he has told me that he loves me and loves my body however, he regularly calls me names like big girl (i'm 115 lbs 5'6) and tells me my body parts are ugly. he follows everything with "i'm just joking." i have told him it is sometimes annoying but he hasn't mellowed out. i don't want to lose him but i don't want this to lower my self-esteem. when he makes comments about my body and i say that the comment is not true he either agrees and says he knows that i'm beautiful and thats why its funny or he just says that i am no fun because i can't take a joke. am i being too sensitive? ive never been with someone who offended my body or brains, even in a joking way. thanks | my boyfriend (25/m) constantly jokes with me (23/f) and insults me in various ways. | 5o8h1a | he is immature.....the point is he doesn't respect your wish for him not to 'joke' like that | relationship_advice | 5o8h1a |
i'm 33. i've been depressed since middle school. my ex wife had an affair and we split 2 years ago. i started seeing a therapist shortly after because life seemed unbearable. although i have never been suicidal i could barely function. therapy has helped tremendously. beforehand i couldn't even acknowledge i was depressed. i was raised to sweep flaws under the rug and put on a mask that everything was great. now i have awareness of my moods. i realize when i am happy or sad. i don't feel being sad makes me a bad person. i started logging my mood each day, then multiple times a day. it is worse than i realized. i suffer with this over half the time, often severe. i feel it coming. i feel it at its peak. as if i'm an outside observer. and yet even with this level of self-awareness i am powerless to stop it. my therapist has strongly recommended ssris. i've rejected the advice for almost 2 years now out of principal. i've tried to fight it naturally. exercise, sleep, socializing, getting out more, hobbies. i've tried to correlate events or thoughts to the depression and try to fight the root cause. nothing works. it's scary because sometimes i log my emotions and there is seemingly no reason. no cause or explanation. and when it's really bad, i can't just start exercising or doing some remedy because it is so crippling. i feel ashamed to admit that. i feel like i am just unmotivated, when in fact i am highly motivated to beat this and live a fulfilling life for once like everybody else. so now i have to face up to the fact that maybe i have tried everything and i should give medication a try, but i am very scared. i do web searches and hear bad stories and it justifies my concerns. some say it doesn't work, or it messes you up worse, or something in the middle. i've had trouble finding good resources. stories from real people like me. does it work? could it work? should it work? what should i do? thanks for reading | are antidepressants the answer? | 2c6ew3 | i'm a therapist. i've also been on many, many antidepressants in my teenage years and early 20s, and worked with many others who are prescribed various psychotropic medications. effects of anti-depressants are hugely variable, but perhaps the most significant thing to bear in mind is that for the vast majority of people, the effects are relatively minor. this is both a positive and a negative - generally, they will not dramatically alter your mood but may provide a stability, and as others have said, a sense that it is easier to put into practice the sort of psychological tools that you have already. it also means that the side-effects are generally fairly minimal, but they absolutely do exist and for some people can be debilitating. by far the most common that i've experienced with the clients i have worked with (and experienced myself) is sexual side effects associated with ssris and snris, primarily delayed orgasm and difficulty becoming aroused. there is absolutely no way to advise you on what effects you personally are likely to experience without trying it for yourself, but with very few exceptions the effects are reversible and likely to be relatively minor. i can also understand the reluctance to take medication that 'alters your brain chemistry', but it's important to bear in mind that the commonly held view that psychotropic medications alter your brain chemistry while other interventions do not is a flawed one. psychotherapy absolutely alters your brain chemistry as well, albeit through a less direct route, but the brain changes of people engaged in long-term psychotherapy (or meditation, or becoming a london cab driver) are measurable and significant. everything we do and experience alters our brain chemistry, we just have the illusion that it is more under our control when it occurs through external stimulus rather than through substances, but this is an artificial distinction. i do believe from my own reading of it that the research shows that anti-depressants are statistically and clinically more effective than placebo, but the fact that there is any question around this (and that there clearly is a quite sizeable placebo effect) is testimony to the fact that your brain chemistry is very easily altered by beliefs, thoughts and experiences as much as by biological intervention. | depression | 2c6ew3 |
i don't know what to say. my father raised us anti-medication/anti-drugs/etc. he thinks that adhd medication turns people into zombies (makes no sense, but whatever). i am secretly on medication, was diagnosed just under a year ago, and am thoroughly satisfied. my diagnosis was very legit and i never realized my glaring abnormality. my younger brother is struggling academically these days and i really worry about him. i care about him so much and he/everyone else thinks that he is just dumb, but swear that he just lacks attention. my parents are smart people, i am quite smart, and it's hard to imagine that my brother would just suddenly lose the genetic lottery and be bat-shit stupid. it's pretty clear to me that he has adhd. nobody really believes me and i am not trying to force a diagnosis either. i just want him to see a damn doctor so he doesn't ruin the rest of his life all because of one stupid untreated disorder. i can't stomach the fact that his career prospects will be changed just because he didn't see a doctor (i.e. not going to university when he clearly is smart enough and shouldn't be doing anything else). if he truly isn't adhd, then that's the doctor's job. anyone can have suspicions and it is the doctor's function to consolidate these. i just want him to get into that office and let doc explain things to him. i truly care about my brother and i am sorry if this post is a little discombobulated (i need sleep), but if anyone has something i should say to him, i would love it. | how can i convince my brother to see a doctor? | am7j53 | you could suggest he browse this sub. many people describe how eye opening it is to read about other’s experiences here. your brother might feel less threatened by the suggestion of browsing a subreddit vs. seeing a doctor, and if he reads some things that resonate with him, he might feel more self-motivated to see a doctor. | adhd | am7j53 |
i've been dating a woman for about 7 months in a mutually monogamous relationship. things were fantastic at first. about three months in it sort of slowed down to a casual, but still loving and romantic thing. during the last 6 weeks, though, she has become more and more distant. doesn't respond to texts nearly as quickly as she used to. doesn't want to get together nearly as often. is not physically affectionate - even when we kiss, there's not much there on her part. several months ago she had invited me to a family reunion, and also to a cousin's wedding. as we got closer to the dates of those events, i asked her about them and she replied "i don't know if i can even get off work to go." but ... she did get off work and went, and i was not included. i have not asked why, and i'm sure i should. but she has strong narcissistic traits, and asking questions like that generally just push her further away. still ... i imagine i should have asked. two weeks ago she said that she was going to a fundraiser with her mom. she said she wasn't sure where it was supposed to be (though i found out later that it had been posted all over facebook for days ahead of time). she would normally ask me to join her and her mom for something like that, but she didn't. a few days later i found out from a friend that he had seen her somewhere else entirely that night, at a local brewery with a married couple she knew from a former job. when i asked her later how the benefit had been, she replied that it was "okay" and that she and her mom had time to catch up. then last night, she had told me that she needed to do some stuff around the house and was going to stay in. she lives just off the street of the rout i take to work and it's easy to see if her car is there. when i left work, her car wasn't at her house. i didn't think too much about it. but i ended up having to go back to work two more times to sign checks for the accountant and her car wasn't there either time. so, being suspicious, i drove around the block to see if she had parked somewhere else for some reason. nope. no car. then i got paranoid. so i drove by several more times, and no car. five hours after i had left work the first time, her car showed up. she sent me a text shortly there after asking how my evening was. i was noncommittal and asked her how hers was. she said "oh, i took a nap, then made dinner and puttered around the house. nothing too exciting." i said "so you didn't go do anything fun?" she said "nope, just stayed in." i ran through all sorts of scenarios in my head. there is nobody she would loan her car to, it's brand new and she barely lets anyone ride in it, let alone drive it. maybe she parked somewhere else? well, i am ashamed to say that i drove all around the neighborhood looking, and it wasn't anywhere. i can't come up with any reason why she would have been gone all evening, and then would lie about it. unless, of course, she was with someone else. it's possible that she was just with a friend - but why wouldn't she tell me that? i'm not the sort of person who gets unhappy when she goes to hang out with friends, even if they're male. so ... what the hell? first thing this morning she sent a very "sweet" text, and we texted back and forth several times. she was overly nice and effusive. i think i know what's going on. but i guess i just don't want to believe it. ld;dr: girlfriend has been increasingly distant. didn't take to me two family events that i was previously invited to. now she lies about where she's been and what she's been doing. is she cheating? | age old question - should i tell her that i suspect she's cheating? | 6j9nd1 | if you suspect than it's prob. over i'm afraid | relationship_advice | 6j9nd1 |
okay, so i think i went about writing my first post the wrong way. my girlfriend of two years and i are looking to enter an open relationship. she has found someone whereas i have not. we both still love each other very much but we are uncertain as to how we should navigate these new waters. we want to be together but this is all so new for us. i want to find someone/make friends with people who are new to this and could be going through this transition like i am rn. what advice do you have for someone that's new to an open relationship? what conversations should i be having with my girlfriend and what sort of boundaries are necessary for our relationship to grow. we don't want to lose what we have, but we don't want to turn back. we want to press forward and grow together. any and all advice will be greatly appreciated. | open relationship advice | 6yfy9s | open rel. rarely work. you have to have zero jealousy, which is rare. | relationship_advice | 6yfy9s |
this has been such a struggle for me. i just don't know how to deal with men in general! whether they are gay or straight, it's just really difficult for me to talk to them while looking at them in the eye. i don't how to approach them, and i am never comfortable in their presence. this began when i discovered i was gay; and since then, i have been friends only with girls. note: -i am not your stereotypical gay (flamboyant, feminine, and sassy). -i think i am ugly, although my friends tell me i am attractive. -i think i don't deserve others' (especially men's) attention. -don't get me wrong, i want to interact with guys. | [m/17] gay doesn't know how to make friends with guys. help! | 6ounwc | you need to literally, physically, relax. the muscular tension that occurs when you are stressed by the presence of men is blocking you from being comfortable/enjoying their company. most men are harmless, boring, average guys. go find some bland dudes and practice chilling the fuck out. | relationship_advice | 6ounwc |
so, i met this girl through tinder and we've been seeing each other for a couple of months now. we went on a few dates early on and things were going well. eventually we decided we should just be fwb. we prefaced it with agreeing not to catch feelings for each other and keep things simple. at the time i was excited about it and i never really asked for her reasoning as to why she wanted to keep things casual. over the past couple of months i think i've started catching feelings for her, and i feel like it's being reciprocated by her but i'm struggling to tell if truly that or just wishful thinking. either way, i feel like i fucked up. we're both going back to our respective colleges soon so if i want to pursue anything i need to make a move asap. i guess what i need some advice with is is it unfair to her for me to try and see where things go and tell her how i feel given what we said when we became fwb or should i just go for it? | looking for some advice regarding a fwb. [23/m] (21/f) | 6ur6g3 | go for it. no second chances in life. | relationship_advice | 6ur6g3 |
i’m 20 and i can’t bring myself to do anything outside of what is immediately required of me. i hate being around anybody, so people see me as a loser and i don’t blame them, i have no interests and my life feels pointless, even tho i never really talk when i do i’m usually a bit of a prick but people still tell me i’m so nice and innocent when really i’m just too afraid to be who i really am. i don’t have any friends left and i know it’s because i’m too proud to let myself feel vulnerable. i’m just too scared to ask for help, and i don’t know why i’m even doing this anymore. every day i wake up from another nightmare or set of nightmares in pain and stressed out right off the bat. i’m thinking of just joining the army because i’m out of options and i feel like no girl could ever like me. i don’t know why i’m posting this, but like i said i’m out of options. just know i’m not the type to take or appreciate help, thanks for reading anyway though. | no drive left | dkkdjo | you sound depressed and like you need a purpose in life. get some therapy. joining the army is a good idea. | mentalhealth | dkkdjo |
im confused where we draw the line, especially between the first two. | what is the difference between invalidating someone, disagreeing, and gaslighting. | ft8wil | usually, invalidating refers to feelings and a disagreement refers to difference of opinion . i can't disagree with your feelings, because they are your feelings, but i can invalidate them by telling you they are wrong, ridiculous, etc. gaslighting is when someone manipulates someone to question their sanity . any person can disagree with another respectfully without abuse or control . let me give you an example (rough , because feelings and facts are separate) let's say you tell me that you think we should wash the dishes after dinner , and i prefer to wash the dishes after i relax, before bed. invaliding: that's so stupid, you always want things done your way. disagree: i disagree, i prefer to do the dishes later gaslight: i already washed all the dishes, are you crazy? | askatherapist | ft8wil |
i've asked for advice before and it certainly helped, but not looking for "just break up with him" as i believe relationships take work and especially at my age, there's a lot of baggage that just comes with the territory and we are both trying to work through our issues. anyway, here's my dilemma: due to work schedules and kids, my bf and i don't get to spend much time together. usually about 2-3 nights per week, after work for a few hours before we go to sleep. we are both very cognizant of not letting our desire to be together interfere with our friends and hobbies, since we both have past relationships where we completely lost ourselves. this amounts to about 4-6 hours where we are awake together each week. date nights are practically non-existent anymore and i feel like we've both already become a bit complacent. he doesn't seem to think this is an issue (i assume - we've not talked about it, but he's never brought it up). admittedly, i suck at communicating and don't like to spend what little time we have together discussing relationship issues, so i decided to write an email. i haven't sent it yet bc i'm not sure if it effectively communicates what i want to say without making him feel defensive. this where you come in, reddit. would you mind reading my email and sharing your opinion? "babe, i've been trying to think of a way to say this to you that wouldn't cause you to become defensive or start a fight. i am so much better at writing things down, so here goes: i want to spend more time with you. a few hours before we go to sleep twice a week isn't working for me. i feel like we don't go anywhere outside the house anymore and i miss just being able to talk to you, away from the tv or just having sex and falling asleep. we are both busy with work and kids and both want some time to ourselves or hang out with friends, etc. i get that is a hard balance to strike, but for whatever reason you have unilaterally decided that we can no longer spend friday nights together and that is hurtful to me because (1) that is a perfect night for a date night and (b) that means we can sleep in a little on saturday and spend extra time together. some of the best times we've had together are laying in bed talking & being silly with each other on saturday mornings. i have no issue with you wanting to play video games with your friends or just needing some time for yourself, but i am feeling a bit neglected because i love spending time with you & quality time together is really important to me. i'm not asking you to give anything up, but do you think we could compromise? like, if we spent tues, wed, thurs nights after work together, i think one date night (meaning friday night) per month is a good compromise. or we could talk about introducing the kids and take them to do something fun together on saturdays. i don't want to come across as bitching about what i'm unhappy with or make you feel like i'm smothering you. i just miss you and want more than 4 hours a week where we are awake together because i kinda love you and enjoy your company. what do you think?" tl;dr want to ask for more time with bf but am a big chicken and had to write it in an email instead. | i [38f] want to ask for more time with my so [40m] together ~ 7mos | 5vy2gz | that's ok. you asked!! and never be afraid to demand what you need! | relationship_advice | 5vy2gz |
i’m a 22 year old female, and i live in northern nj (usa). i have anxiety, been taking meds since i was like 16 or 17. my doctor has me on a generic form of lexapro, and i take it daily. when i was younger, my doctor’s office (general physician) would tell me i cant refill my prescription without going in and seeing him to refill it. he would override it and tell the pharmacy to refill it anyways, so i didnt have to go to the office that often. that was when my dad called. now he’s saying i have to see him every time the prescription runs out, which is now every 3 months. i can’t afford to keep missing hours at work to just go to the office so he can talk to me for 2 seconds about nothing and then refill it. and i have to pay a copay every time i go to see him. nothing has ever changed in the 5 or 6 years i’ve been on this medication, and i dont understand just why i have to keep going back to him so often just to refill it (i understand theres a certain procedure they have to follow, but for god’s sake every 3 months is ridiculous; once a year makes more sense to me but idk). i dont think i’ve ever heard of over the counter anxiety meds, but i thought i would take a shot and ask reddit. this medicine works for me, i dont have panic attacks on it. i still have anxiety but its manageable on this. is there something out there that i can purchase without going through my doctor for it, with the same chemicals? on a side note, is it possible that another doctor would be able to give me a longer-term prescription for the same pills? i would assume not, but again, just deciding to ask in case i’m wrong. i was thinking more along the lines of if i went to a psychiatrist or if i should change my gp all together. thank you in advance | possibly a dumb question, but is there an over the counter alternative to lexapro? | 8bktim | most people see their primary care docs once or twice a year and get prescriptions that last that long. there's no law against doing the same for psychiatric medications! your doctor can set whatever rules he wants, but those are his. | askdocs | 8bktim |
new to this subreddit, but so happy i found it! to preface, i have been with my boyfriend for almost four years. we began dating our freshman year in college and have recently graduated together. my boyfriend is kind, humble, and a really really good person--everyone loves him. in college, my boyfriend was in a fraternity and exhibited the all too familiar frat boy mentality of always getting too drunk and only drinking to get drunk. he ruined many nights for me because he was too drunk, he embarrassed me often, and he would sometimes even turn into a different person when he drank (kinda mean, but never once physically abusive). most of all, though, i would spend many nights in, not being able to sleep because i would not know where he was or who he was with. mind you, i suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and ocd. however, my boyfriend did something really interesting: he could go a month without drinking and be totally fine. but once he finally would go out with his buddies, it would be the most messed up he could possibly get. essentially, the infrequency of his drinking made me doubt that there was actually a problem. chalking his behavior up to be that of a typical frat boy, i expected his drinking to die down once we graduated. however, i can honestly say that it has gotten worse. again, he can go weeks without drinking and has no problem just having a glass of wine at dinner. however, there is something about him going out with his friends that triggers his drunken behavior. as a result of these nights, i have had so many sleepless nights because i cannot stop calling his phone (ocd, remember ;) ) because i am terrified that he will not get home safely, or even that he has gotten himself hurt (he sometimes picks fights with strangers when he gets drunk). however, i often ask myself: am i just worrying because i have anxiety? am i just trying to control him? i recently sat him down and gave him an ultimatum, because i decided that maybe his behavior did warrant that (again, not totally sure, that's why i'm here). i presented information on binge drinking and told him that if he did not stop drinking entirely, i would leave him. he laughed at the idea of having a drinking problem and took nothing i said seriously. i then began to doubt myself and decided that he was right and that my ocd was making me think he had a problem. he did tell me, however, that whenever he drinks, he will always stay communicative (over text) and tell me how much he is drinking so that i do not worry. tonight is why i am here. my boyfriend was texting me, telling me he was going out to dinner with his friend. he checked in occasionally, mentioning that the dinner was simply average. he mentioned nothing about drinking. when he got home, i facetimed him to say goodnight. i was shocked to find that he was drunk. he began telling me that he only had one beer. after getting really upset with him, he told me that he had three drinks. later, it unfolded that he had at least 7. so what do i do now? he has now *lied* to me about drinking. how can i ever trust him when he goes out? am i being crazy and over analyzing this? or does he actually have a problem? | [22/f] my boyfriend [22/m] may or may not have drinking problem | 72qyhl | it's called episodic alcohol abuse. very prevalent...everywhere...especially young people. draw your line in the sand and stick to it. | relationship_advice | 72qyhl |
i know it depends on a bunch of different factors. i was curious if anyone here have/had successfully received disability for a mental health issue. i'm currently suffering from ptsd, mdd, gad, as well as various phobias, panic disorder, and frequent emotional breakdowns. i have no health insurance as of a week ago. my mom lost her job which was the only reason i had any. i also suffer from pcos and asthma. i believe my pcos could be making my issues worse as well because i need to be on hormone medication and back on my antidepressant and anxiety meds. sorry for the rant. if you have successfully (or) unsuccessfully done this in the past i'd really appreciate any input. i am at a loss and have no idea where to even start. or if it would even be worth trying. | odds of receiving ssi for mental illness? | 7dapf4 | very very difficult but not impossible. ask your providers what they think because they have to provide supporting documentation anyway so if they’re not willing to do that then your odds are extra not good. but it has been done before. | mentalhealth | 7dapf4 |