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things have not been going well for me lately. i've taken the next week off as stress leave and i'm trying to make the best out of a bad situation. i'd like to make myself an "emergency" kit of sorts to get me through. when i'm having a really bad day, it's something i can come to for a bit of help. i also recognize that this may have to be replenished frequently. does anyone have one of these? what do you keep in it? do you have any ideas of what i should put into mine? i was thinking of making one for a friend at the same time. | bpd survival kit | 2lu90i | notebook or some way to get your feelings out of your head and somewhere else. necessities! that means anything you need to eat, sleep, breathe, drink (water). comfort! shoes, clothes, and comfort objects. and stuff that's personal- a blanket, baby pillow, scarf, extra poofy jacket to hide in, warmth you get the picture. distrations. music is huge. a portable gaming machine. a book (happy books or ones that make you think just not about bad emotions. i love mystery and sci fi ). a rubix cube. sudoku. anything you might find helpful to zone out for a bit know where the exits are. know where the bathrooms are. wherever you go, go with the knowledge that safety and support is a phone call away - whether it be a family member, a friend, a loved one, a therapist or counselor or even priest. pictures of things that make you happy. animals. your pets. friends. food. exercise every morning! it will help you get out of a funk and alter your mindset. if i think of more il add them. this has helped me immensely | bpd | 2lu90i |
age: 21 , sex: male , height: 5'6ft , weight: 55kg race: asian duration: 1 hour, location: nose ,medical issues: flu, current medication: paracetamol i have the flu for 5 days now, but my nose is still clogged. i suddenly felt the urge to sneeze so i went to the bathroom and sneezed. after sneezing i felt something dripping down from nose, when i looked in the mirror it was blood. there were so many blood and the only way to stop it is to look at the ceiling. is this normal? what should i do? ​ | nose bled after sneezing | alqksa | to answer the other part of your question: yes, this is normal. respiratory infections like flu irritate nasal mucosa and make it more delicate. in the winter, dry air makes it worse. sneezing puts pressure and it's pretty common to damage blood vessels, and even a tiny tear can bleed a lot from your nose. if it really doesn't stop or slow down to oozing for a long time, you can go to the er, but 99% of the time it will stop if you hold pressure. and really hold it, don't press for a while, then check if it's still bleeding. keep the pressure on for a good ten minutes and clotting do its job. | askdocs | alqksa |
it just isn't. and not because i say it isn't. it just isn't. i try to turn my goddamn thoughts around to be positive every goddamn second of every goddamn day and it just does not do anything to make me feel better. coping strategies just calm me down. smiling is so damn fake and uncomfortable. i don't even know. | it pisses me off that people think happiness is a choice | 85ubu6 | i have found that after years of practice i can achieve a state of indifference to myself, the world and all that’s in it. this is an improvement over my previous involuntary state of disgust, contempt and hostility. from this neutral state i can occasionally be moved to kindness and compassion, but happiness is rare for me. i’m a survivor of multiple serious suicide attempts and depressions that lasted years. | depression | 85ubu6 |
highschool - great student, bright future college - had a little too much fun, did weed, lost all interest in studying and thought doing a 9-5 job was for sad people, eventually dropped out. wasted a lot of money moved back home, got really depressed when reality hit. have been ever since. can't face anyone. haven't talked to any of my friends. parents have tried to get me out of the house but i threaten them with suicide. and it's not an empty threat, i really would commit suicide than face anyone. my mom loves me so much and it kills me to have been a disappointment. and she still loves me. which makes me even more of a disappointment. and she still fucking loves me. i just can't understand how could someone love someone so much even though they've been nothing but a disappointment to them. they had really high hopes from me and i've absolutely killed all of them. i've never been a hard worker. i don't do well in competition. i'd much rather help the other person win. but winners probably don't need help from losers. in my current situation i am completely useless. all i do is be a big disappointment. along with me i'm even making my mom depressed. she's too nice to show it. i try to keep my room closed so that they don't have to look at me. they keep knocking but i don't answer. i have no answers. "how are you?" "have you given more thought about fucking doing something with your fucking life you miserable piece of burden shit!?" they're usually politer but i still have no answers. i tried to hang a couple times but couldn't go through with it. i can't even bear the minor discomfort for 2 minutes. but one of these days.. | haven't left the house in 2 years. | 3ogbxq | your depression contains a really large amount of shame and self loathing. it seems clear that you'd benefit from psychotherapy and/or medication. if you won't leave the house, you might consider teletherapy? | depression | 3ogbxq |
42, female, 5'6", 200 lbs., caucasian. bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder with panic attacks. citalopram 40 mg 1/per day. buspirone 20 mg 3/day. so i started seeing a new doctor a few months ago (he's 2 blocks away compared to 20 miles), and he changed my meds from escitalopram to elavil. it helped me get to sleep at night, but it didn't help my anxiety at all, which triggered panic attacks. 2 weeks ago, he put me back on citalopram (celexa and lexapro have worked well for me, but i get sleep issues). when i went then, my blood pressure was about 140/110. it is normally around 120/70. we agreed that it was likely due to the anxiety and, while i am certainly feeling better, i am also certainly still anxious. yesterday, i went back for follow up, and my blood pressure was around 140/100. i could tell when i walked in that my blood pressure was high. he has prescribed chlorthalidone 25 mg once per day. i am scared to take it. my blood pressure feels fine, and i'm afraid that it will lower it to dangerous levels. my anxiety is centered around my health, so i'm sure i'm being silly, but would really like some reassurance from a medical professional. thank you so much for your time and for everything that you do for free to help the people of this sub. | scared to take my new meds. | 4y05p0 | if you have bipolar, have you been tried on any mood stabilisers (eg lithium)? | askdocs | 4y05p0 |
i feel like in a round about way it's calling her slutty & practically unattractive. physically attractive : the hot girl sexually attractive: the mediocre slutty girl right or wrong? | is it bad if a man tells a woman he's seeing that he's sexually attracted to her? | 5ok45e | everything depends on context and timing. can't generalize. | relationship_advice | 5ok45e |
i'm not sure if this belongs here but i'm honestly not sure where to ask this. anyway, as the title says, i'm a nerdy guy. i play boardgames, videogames, i read books, and thats most of who i am espeically hobbys wise. issue is, i'm worried that's "all" i am. i'm fine being a nerd, i enjoy the culture (the positives, not the toxicity shit) but i'm not sure if i should branch out into more "general" hobbies (things i'd like of course, i'm not gonna say watch x tv show just because other people like it) to be more relatable or not. | i feel too nerdy at times and i'm not sure if i should look into more hobbies or not | 8pmtgm | nothing wrong with being eclectic. you don't have to love everything as much as you love your core interests, but it's extremely helpful socially to at least have a base knowledge of and be able to enjoy many different things. i had a guitar teacher once tell me when i was really young that when it comes to music it's ridiculous to say you don't like an entire genre. if you look hard enough, you can find some aspect that you really appreciate. life is better when you focus on the small things you can take joy in rather than discounting things. i try to apply this to as much as i can in my life and encourage others to do the same. example, you might not love sports, but if you can understand it just enough, you might appreciate watching it and the camaraderie that goes along with it. you might not love cooking and foodie stuff, but you might learn to appreciate the skill and competitiveness when it comes to cookie shows and competitions. find a way to take joy in as many things as you can, while holding your core interests close. it'll give you a basis to relate to many more people and open up social opportunities in a completely genuine way. all friendships start based off of shared interest. you don't have to be an expert fanboy to say you're into this or that. just a base knowledge and general curiosity. p.s. i'm also a huge nerd for plenty of things including board games. board games and dnd are gaining popularity so fast that soon it won't be too hard to find a good group of friends with these interests. what are you playing right now? i'm an avid and regular dnd player. we also love codenames, secret hitler, lords of waterdeep, and anomia. | socialskills | 8pmtgm |
what happened: this past summer, i was at a family wedding (with cousins, extended family, etc.) in my family's home country. my dad moved back there about a year ago, and i live independently in another country. the wedding was a good family reunion. when my dad was dropping me off at the airport (we were alone), i was a bit frustrated with something he had done, though i was not outwardly very upset (shouting, swearing, arguing), i was just trying to communicate with my dad saying that what he had done upset me. he was with me inside the airport, just before the security line. he got annoyed with me and before i could do anything, told me in a mocking-laughing tone that he "didn't want to talk to me anymore" and spun on his heel and booked it toward the exit. it happened so quickly i was stunned. i think i protested with a "wait!" but there were many people around us and i didn't want to cause a scene. i couldn't believe that this was how my father would leave me, as i had/have no idea when i'll return to visit them again. i sat in stunned silence the whole way home. since then, my dad has been frequently messaging me on whatsapp, but i have only responded twice - to say happy birthday and merry christmas. i can't bring myself to speak to him. he hasn't asked why i am not responding to him or if something is wrong, he just keeps messaging normal things like photos, links to news articles, videos, asking me how work is going, etc. i don't know what to do or how to approach the subject. i feel frozen every time i do. context - i have been through some terrible break ups over the last few years, abandonment is an issue for me (i've been to therapy), and although he was in my life growing up you could classify him as a fairly absent father. he would not be up to date on anything pertaining to my emotional state or social life, for example. once he even told me he didn't care about my social life or boyfriends, unless i would be seriously getting married or something, because boyfriends could be changing every week. i can't tell you how hard i cried after that, even though i was sitting in a public stairwell. any advice or comments (please be kind..) or similar stories would help. thank you for reading this. | i [30/f] haven't spoken to my dad for 6 months after he ran away from me at the airport, but he keeps messaging | 5odni8 | you're probably not going to shut him off.(almost no one does.) the key is to figure out what amount of contact works for you, and stay within that. | relationship_advice | 5odni8 |
this is the first post i've ever written, though i've lurked on reddit for a while now. i'm a 30 odd year old female, with an excellent career, living abroad, and for all intents and purposes, i have a great life. however, it's my relationship that's causing me much anguish. my husband will pull all nighters or nights which last into e wee hours with single friends which i encourage as independence is a good thing! i'm not a big drinker or reveller so it doesn't bother me that he needs to do this. my problem is that what happens often is that he won't text me and let me know he's not coming home, and so i will worry when i wake up alone. when he comes home, there is no apology. sometimes he doesn't come back till the next afternoon, so any plans i might have considered doing with him as a couple are out the window. my problem really is that when i raise the issue afterwards, and ask him to be 'considerate' and text me to let me know it's turning into a bender and he won't be coming home, he gets really nasty and argumentative in response. he recently told me that he shouldn't have to "ask permission", that i'm "selfish", it's all about me, and that i'm stopping him from seeing his friends. he kept berating me until i was in tears a nd just trying to defend myself, saying that all i wanted was a text from the pub letting me know that it was going to turn into a bender so that i wasn't disappointed when i came home to another night in alone, and i could have the time whilst at work to perhaps make plans with my colleagues. last week he had four nights out with friends so i'm not stopping him from going out. it's just the fact that he acts as though he is single and no one is waiting and home for him, hoping to spend time with him or at least be notified that i shouldn't expect him home at all that night and most of saturday. i have no problem with nights out at all! it's the coming home to find i'm spending another friday night in alone as he intends to go out on a drugs bender, and then not hearing from him until 6pm the next day. i should add that he simply won't apologise. he has argued with me about how he shouldn't have to ask permission, when all i'm saying is to keep me in the loop, until i'm in a ball, crying and shaking as i simply can't understand why he would turn things round and attack me for having the "audacity" to ask him for consideration. he has also laughed at me when i'm crying, trying to out my point across, and when later i've told him that he shouldn't laugh at someone crying, he just says "you were being ridiculous, that's why i laughed" sometimes i feel as though we speak two different languages. it's now monday and i've written hi, notes explaining how i feel taken for granted and upset that he goes out all night, i wake up worried, and when i raise the issue he berates me, but he simply won't respond to this, and instead tried to argue that i didn't actually wait in the house all day for him to come home on saturday (i waited till 12pm, then headed out as i had errands to run, but i still didn't get a text from him letting me know he was alive and/or home until 6pm) i'm absolutely in bits, cannot eat, crying, raging at the feeling that it's unjust but he shifts the problem onto me. i feel like a respectful partnership shouldn't be like this, that i shouldn't be berated until i cry for having the nerve to ask for respect and consideration. no matter how i try to explain to him that i wouldn't treat him this way, or laught at him or deny him his feelings or dismiss them as 'ridiculous', he simply won't see it. i am, in his eyes, the one with the problem, not him. i've said to him that if he were single, he could do what he liked, coe, in when he liked, answer to nobody, but when you are married, it's decency to at least consider the other partner, to not just go off all night and not text them. so, in a nutshell, it's the fact that he behaves how he wants and i'm expected to just go along with it, even if he doesn't come up till the next day without so much as a text, and when i try to discuss how i'd like there to be more consideration, he completely dismisses my feelings and instead berates me until i cry. i'm at breaking point and haven't eaten or slept properly since friday, whilst he nonchalantly goes about his business, playing video games and popping out to the bars to drink. i've written him letters, and all i get in response is him telling me i need to "stop being angry" with him, and then when i decide to stop being angry and ridiculous, then we can go back to normal. this has been an ongoing problem for a while recently, and was a reason i left him for six months in the past. we got back together, as we still missed and loved each other, but the old behaviours seem to be coming back again and i'm not sure what to do. i love him, but i feel as though i cannot keep being taken for granted, and berated for trying to communicate my feelings, or as though i have no right to feel them in the first place. oh wow, sorry this has gotten so long. i don't have any close friends to talk to as i've been quite depressed for a year (this also doesn't help), and live in another country for work. thanks for reading if you have made it this far. i'd really welcome some detached, objective viewpoints as i cannot see the woods for the trees right now and am food and sleep deprived and miserable! | is it abusive behaviour or am i too sensitive? | 5plst8 | yes, he's abusive and inconsiderate. see a marriage counselor. you're putting up with a lot of crap here. | relationship_advice | 5plst8 |
hey guys, so my mom put some jars of pasta sauce right up against the heating vent in my kitchen. the jars were warm to the touch. i'm really mad about this because i just bought them yesterday, and now she may have ruined them. would they be safe to eat, or should i just toss them and get new ones? | mom left jars of tomato sauce by the heating vent. are they okay? | ec3odj | they're definitely fine, especially if they have not been opened yet! those things are carried in trucks across the country, sometimes in intense summer heat. it doesn't hurt them at all. | emetophobia | ec3odj |
so ill make this question short. when you aren't very good at something but want to improve, how do you convince your pessimistic self to dedicate time to study, practice, and learn strategies or things you should be doing? the following is just an example. you don't have to read it. sorry if this is confusing, ill make a personal example. i have gotten back into playing league of legends recently, and i wanted to try out ranked mode. after multiple losses and losing my lane (top lane), it became obvious to me that i havent been playing right nor getting the right items. when i realized this, suddenly two options appeared in front of me. option 1: spend some of your precious free time to watch videos, go into bot matches and practice until you have improved your gameplay. option 2: quit, lay in bed and wallow in self-pity and think about why i am like this, and why am i not talented like other people. and cry. option 1 is the obviously the best choice with the best outcome. however, for me, its not that simple. i start leaning toward option 2 because it is something i am used to, and because i keep convincing myself that taking time learn something will be a waste of time and also takes effort. these two options also appear when looking at exercising and losing weight, and studying for exams. so i want to know how a stubborn depressed person is able to push themselves to do option 1? | [help] pushing myself to work hard and improve | 77e54t | 1) stop comparing yourself to other people. the only person you need to beat is your *past self*... because if you do, you're improving! 2) take it one step at a time. make a list of things that could help you improve. narrow it down to things you can accomplish (easily), then break it down further. maybe watch one video a day. maybe spend one game in bots per day. or set a certain amount of time, like 1 hour per every other day or whatever schedule works for you. ultimately getting better at league isn't all that important but being able to accomplish a goal for yourself is. but reframe the goal a bit - it's not about hitting gold or plat or diamond or whatever... it's about putting in that practice work every single day. check out r/thexeffect. it's a tool to help build good habits and stay on track to reach your goals. if you want to change, you can't expect a huge turnaround in one day - you have to build up a habit over time, so you don't get overwhelmed and eventually it'll be easy because you always do it. | gfd | 77e54t |
acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. when i am disturbed, it is because i find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and i can find no serenity until i accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in god's world by mistake. until i could accept my alcoholism, i could not stay sober; unless i accept my life completely on life's terms, i cannot be happy. i need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. reprinted from alcoholics anonymous, p. 417, with permission of a.a. world services, inc | acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. | 8zr6ep | that whole story is really really good | alcoholicsanonymous | 8zr6ep |
ok i know this is stupid, but i have to make a phonecall to a customer service thingy and everytime i even think about it my heart starts pounding and i feel this weird pressure in my chest and i just hate this. i was supposed to call in the morning, but just got so scared that i couldn't, but now i have to because the house is empty and it feels worse when i try to call with other people here (which, i know, is again very stupid, but i can't help it). does anyone else have this problem or any similar issue when you have to make a phonecall, and how do you deal with it? | how do i make a phonecall without having a panic attack | bzs2v6 | i am a big people person. very extroverted and great in social situations, but making phone calls like this gives me a tremendous amount of anxiety. i chalk it up to the majority of my feeling comfortable in communication is my strong ability to read body language, which you can't do over the phone. all of this to say, a couple of things that help me. i write down the main talking points of what i want to say, responses to a few possible questions they may have for me. i rehearse it a bit before the call, and if need be, read directly from what i've written. | mentalhealth | bzs2v6 |
i was molested when i was a kid, but had no memory of it. last year, i got into a sketchy sexual situation that eventually got me diagnosed with ptsd. however, that doesn’t make sense to me, because the more i think about it, and the more i learn about actual rape, the more i’m certain what happened to me was not rape. but- it did trigger my memories of being molested as a kid, which i had been repressing until that situation. so even though i made up what happened (or at least, hugely exaggerated how bad it was) can i still have ptsd? i didn’t make up the symptoms, even though i made up the event. but i’m worried that since i was unable or unwilling to share the details of what actually happened last year, and could only manage to say “i was raped” (but now i know i wasn’t) that the person diagnosing me *thought* something awful or life-threatening happened to me when it didn’t. does that mean my diagnosis is a lie, too? i am certain if i shared the truth about what happened that it would not qualify as rape. not in a minimizing or denial way- it just genuinely doesn’t count. can i still have ptsd? or do i have to re-think everything? i read on the internet that ptsd can develop from false memories, too. mine isn’t a false memory so much as a lie projected onto a regular bad memory. but can i still get ptsd from it? | can you get ptsd from something that’s not actually bad? | cgio57 | rarely do people claim they were abused/molested without there being a serious problem (wether or not the claimed thing happened). that is my starting point when a patient says they were molested. | askatherapist | cgio57 |
this girl is a superstar in our sporting community. if i see her play i'm always blown away by how good her timing and technique are and what amazing sportsmanship she has. for many years i've admired her from afar and rejoiced in her progress (she became a world champion recently, and i remember when she was killing everyone at high school sporting events). it's kinda creepy because i don't think she had any idea who i was until recently when our teams started training together once or twice a month. we're often paired together and she's so unbelievably nice, but i get so self conscious when i'm talking to her or training with her that i have a hard time saying or doing anything right. she's highly emotionally intelligent with amazing interpersonal skills. any time i talk to her she turns the conversation around and i end up blabbering on and on about myself. she's very friendly. i'm pretty socially anxious but i can sometimes keep it under wraps and only be kindof awkward instead of ultra awkward. my main problem is that i second guess myself a lot. i'll go back over interactions and pick them apart and tell myself i did this or that wrong. tried to add her on facebook but she didn't accept. i'm not sure if she knew it was me or not. i don't want to bring it up in case she actually doesn't want to add me as a friend and i make her uncomfortable. we have 8 mutual friends. including one who we actually both talk to regularly. tl;dr she's really warm and friendly and cool with me, but i'm awkward and am not sure how to indicate my interest in becoming friends. i'm self-conscious and worry she may not want to be my friend. | me [25/f] really want to make friends with an amazing [24/f] but i'm socially inept. help. | 6ayeql | be yourself. go slow. you'll learn how to be more socially skillful, like riding a bike. | relationship_advice | 6ayeql |
the problem is that this kind of conversation happens fairly regularly: >me: \*talking about something i think is totally reasonable/normal/blah/bland\* > >friends/coworkers/therapist: "what?!?" > >me: "oh. i guess that's not normal, is it." > >friends/coworkers/therapist: "i'm kinda concerned." ​ yes, this gets addressed in therapy when it comes up. and it doesn't normally impact my life too much. i can usually turn it into a joke with friends and coworkers. usually i can catch abnormal emotional responses. if i'm anxious about something, i can ask myself why, and i can ask someone if that's a normal or reasonable response. i don't want my phone number on the emergency contact list at my new job. why? is that reasonable? is that paranoid? but when there's no emotional response and there maybe should be? i have no way to catch it until it comes up in casual conversation. "haha. yeah. my parents are always late picking me up from places." seems kind of annoying. i had no way of knowing that "late" for most people means like, 10-20 minutes outside the expected time frame. not hours, or days, or "i thought you wanted to spend the summer there". ​ how do i know which "seems normal to me" experiences i should elaborate on or ask about in therapy? | how do i know what's normal and what's neglect/trauma? | bwyhka | talking it through in therapy is likely the best way. your therapist can talk to you about what is typical (i prefer that word over “normal”) and why. children need home to be a place where they feel safe, have trust in their caregivers, have a roof over their heads and food/basic necessities, can give and receive love as well as healthy limits. any behavior that doesn’t promote (or directly undermines) the job of a parent can be neglect or abuse. | askatherapist | bwyhka |
i work on film sets, and while i love it, it's 12-hour days of fast-paced, intense work. i have to keep tabs on so many things for my position, and every time i start to think i really am getting in the swing of things, i make a big mess-up that holds up production or makes me look bad (like i don't care or like i'm not paying attention or like i'm lazy) in front of my team members and superiors. i just don't know if this feeling will ever not keep constantly coming back. is it possible, as an adhd person, to work in an intense environment and ever feel like you've just got it? i don't want to keep finding myself thinking that maybe i should quit because i'm not good enough (and subsequently wondering if i'll ever be good enough for a job that's actually challenging enough to be interesting). tl;dr i'm tired of missing things and making mistakes just when i thought i had a handle on it. is there any way to have an interesting, challenging job and not feel unfit for it because of your adhd? | do you ever get sick of constantly swinging between "i'm actually getting good at this!" and "i'm just not cut out for this, i'll never make it"? | i9kte0 | i'm a psychologist and i'm trying to come to grips with the fact my career will always include this! | adhd | i9kte0 |
they constantly need to be around me, but never accept having conversations. when i try to talk to them they act annoyed, and when they do wanna talk its always about what they like and what i don't. for example, i really hate like harry potter for personal reasons, yet they always insist that we talk about that. one of them constantly patronizes me, and the other randomly complains about people for them having different styles than her, or for doing something annoying that she does herself. should i cut them off? | should i cut off from my friends? | evdif1 | your friends should be people that make you happy. your friends should be people that you enjoy talking to and hanging around with. if they don't fit that description, if you feel worse after interacting with them consistently, why are you still friends? | advice | evdif1 |
i'm a male and i've had several relationships where i felt like my partner was a bit too clingy which made me even less interested in giving her attention. now the tables have turned and i feel like i'm the one in need of more attention and i'm not exactly sure what to do. i feel like if i was direct in asking her for more attention or explaining the situation, she would just take pity on me and would just view me as being more needy. i can go about ignoring her for a bit and give her less attention while more on myself to see if she'd catch on and in turn give me more attention. this got me to thinking if it was even normal to have to think about playing these mind games in a healthy relationship? for those of you guys in long lasting, strong relationships, was the amount of attention you gave each other and the amount you needed just balanced from the start or was there some / a lot of calibrating that needed to be done? is this something that can be resolved? or is the fact that we need differing amounts of attention from each other a sign of inevitable failure? **tl;dr: wanting more attention in a relationship. not sure if it is normal to have to play mind games to get more attention or if it should just work.** | [21/m] [18/f] is it normal to have to play a bit of mind games in a relationship? | 1fgdc8 | its a big sign of insecurity. you need to be direct and open, or else you will crash and burn. | relationship_advice | 1fgdc8 |
i've been going to a psychologist and yes he's cool to talk to about stuff and he helps me with study strategies and worries about the future but i was wondering what the point was past just talking? i know this is unorthodox for this sub sorry. | what's the point of going to a psychologist past the original diagnosis? | 2gi9y5 | often times meds themselves don't automatically correct the behaviors associated with adhd. for example, if you're a student with adhd- you might have had a rather chaotic study style prior to medications. meds won't automatically correct your behavior- they will however make it possible for you to do so. likewise with many other behaviors that one is accustomed to pre-treatment, sometimes people need assistance in learning to modify those behaviors to ones that are more helpful. | adhd | 2gi9y5 |
hello, i started to see an endocrinologist for a problem with a lot of weight gain in a pretty short time and i needed to have a blood test for tsh and serum ionogram ( i used google translate to translate it and i don't know if i get it right. so today i received the results but i have to wait a week till i will see my doctor again to discuss the results and i'm wondering if you could help me understand my results. so there were two things that were not normal: ​ tsh (thyroid-stimulating hormone) - 5.16 µui/ml (reference interval: 0.27-4.2) and serum ionogram / serum / potentiometric method (ise) chlorine - 96.7 mmol/l (reference interval: 98-106) ​ can you help me understand what this means and if it have to do with my weight increase? | can you help me understand my tsh & serum ionogram results? | bxx530 | that's a mildly elevated tsh. the tsh alone isn't explanatory, however; to diagnose hypothyroidism someone needs to check free t4. if that has been checked and it's normal, you don't have hypothyroidism. the chloride level is close enough to normal that it's insignificant. chloride has to be either very far from normal range or altered in a larger pattern of blood chemistry abnormality to be meaningful. | askdocs | bxx530 |
this is just a throwaway account for privacy reasons and all, but yeah. i don't think i can afford therapy. where i live, therapy is really expensive (where isn't it?) and the cheapest options on sliding scale prices are usually $140 - $150, and i definitely wouldn't be put there, as almost every therapist states on their website that price is a sliding scale based on income. income is high enough, but i have a medical condition that is exceptionally expensive and am paying for college (online until i can afford to go to campus), so i don't really have the money to pay $190 - $200 dollars per 50 minute session for an indefinite number of sessions. i've looked at somewhere between 50 and 60 therapists in my area and have found 5 who accept my insurance - none of whom meet my needs. i don't know what to do, as long term insomnia due to nightmares and inexplicable and overwhelming feelings of panic at the most random of times are greatly impacting my ability to function normally and complete daily tasks. does anyone have advice on a way to get help? i also don't have a university near my house, so i can't use a training program to get therapy, unfortunately. ​ edit: thank you all so much for so many responses and all of this advice! i really did not expect so many people to be able to offer so many different solutions and can't put into words how relieved i am to know that i'm not totally out of options. | what to do when you can't afford therapy? | cvaw72 | i would call your insurance company and see if you have any out of network benefits. sometimes therapists aren’t in network with a specific insurance company, but once you pay them their fee, they can give you a superbill that you can then submit to your insurance company for reimbursement. you may have access to more of the therapists in your area than you think, ones that will hopefully be a better fit. if the out of network benefits things doesn’t pan out, it would be helpful if you have a flexible schedule, more therapists are willing to give discounts for harder to fill slots, like 10 am or 1 pm; bonus points if you can flex from week to week to fill whatever slot they have open that week. | mentalhealth | cvaw72 |
for context: i live in the uk and i'm 16. i'm going to my gp on monday to ask for medication. i'll describe my symptoms to them. my question is, a) can they make me attend therapy? i have been to therapy for two years (i dropped out last december) and it didnt work for me so i feel like medication/diagnoses would be the best next thing. i dont want to go back and am scared the gp might make me. b) will they tell my parents? i think in the uk law, im over the age of consenting to treatment. i dont want my parents to find out. thanks. | can you be forced into therapy? | 4y7dlz | i'm a uk psychiatrist. you're 16 so you are an adult, and therefore can make your own decisions. noone can force you to attend therapy unless specifically detailed under the mental health act. forcing you to therapy is likely to be counterproductive anyway. medical therapy can be prescribed for you, but obviously if they thought it would help you, and if they felt talking therapies was significantly in your best interests then they're not going to prescribe medication simply as an alternative. you don't want your parents to know, but you might ask yourself why? its usually better to have these things out in the open. your consultation is confidential unless there are significant concerns (usually risk to self or others) noted by your gp (or any professional). if you want specific advice then pm me. usual reddit rules apply. edit: stop using 2cb. [retracted] | mentalhealth | 4y7dlz |
17, male, caucasian, 155 pounds, 5,5" so lately i have been thinking about improving my diet and decided to buy some fish oil and vitamin d. i heard fish oil helps with acne and i most likely don't get the necessary amount of vitamin d from the sun so i bought some pills. is this okay? | vitamins at 17? | 8tuatp | probably not going to hurt and probably not going to help. | askdocs | 8tuatp |
i dunno if this is the right place to post this, sorry in advance of its not. just a quick question, met a girl through tinder and due to recent circumstances she is not looking for anything past having fun. ok that’s cool with me i get it. does anyone have tips on continuing this without catching feelings? i only ask because she’s right up my alley, but i’m not trying to get to deep and fudge things up. thanks in advance for any help you people have! | tips for not getting attached? | 71hya7 | if you find yourself getting attached to someone who doesn't want that, you either end it now or you get hurt later. | relationship_advice | 71hya7 |
my boyfriend and i moved in together three weeks ago and so far it has been great. however, over the past week or so i have thrown myself at him only to have him either make some joke or not seem into it at all. last night it happened again. we were in our living room cleaning up for bed and i turned the lights off trying to be sexy and instigate a litte fun on the couch. his first comment is "my stomach is full of milk, i had a huge bowl of cereal". listen, i get it if he was full and didn't want to i could umderstand it but it seemed like he wasn't into it or me at all. side note, i was only wearing one of the t-shirts and i thought i looked pretty good. so how do i go forward from this? every time i get shot down i get more and more ashamed of my sexual side and just wanna crawl into a ball and hide. help | feeling like my boyfriend [25] doens't want to be with me [23,f] physicially and my self confidence is getting really low..help | 64j8wf | it's not you. ask him why he's not interested. it's inside him; not about you | relationship_advice | 64j8wf |
hey, well i go to these extra classes and there are a few really hot chicks there,i sat next to one but she looked kind of quiet and looked like she wanted to just keep to herself,but i think she's really cute,i can talk to girls and stuff it's just starting a conversation is a problem,can you guys help me out? | how to start conversations easily? | 10f3qr | you want to reference the context. start the conversation by mentioning the class, or the book that they're reading, or the weather outside. basically if you start a conversation "out of the blue" it's awkward. but if you reference what's going on around you, it is often well received. | socialskills | 10f3qr |
hi i am 44 yrs , white female. 151cm , 77 kg. medical situation location: mind. experiencing the issue for just over a month. medication: saxenda. started using saxenda 6 months ago. since last month for no obvious or logical reasons i started having anxiety and depression. never have i experienced that before in my 44 years on this earth. obviously, like most people who feel sad or depressed as a result of a broken heart i felt that too, but now it came out of the blue. unfortunately, i am now on cipralex since 3 weeks with no change in my mood. stopped using saxenda nearly a week ago. could it be as a result of saxenda? thanks | can saxenda cause depression? | c9un8q | yes, it’s a known possible side effect of saxenda. hopefully it’ll go away without the medication. | askdocs | c9un8q |
i have this thing where i feel like i’ll turn into someone and no longer be myself if i don’t do a ritual. sometimes it’ll be on a youtube video where i’m watching something about someone and if i see the picture i have to rewind 3 times and forward another 3 to skip past it. it used to be light bulbs, and doors, and now it’s also advanced to stepping in an out of door ways. i’ve got exams coming soon and i can’t even sit a lesson without seeing the back of someone else’s bag and having to look at mine before i enter or having to look at he back of my shoe and chair once i’ve seen the back of somebody else’s. it doesn’t bother me but people pick up on it. i also have a thing where i have to cross out a word 3 times and rewrite it and other times i tell myself i can’t and just leave a gap. | anyone have any helpful strategies to stop rituals or what i’m facing? | 7czj01 | it's called emotional contamination. google it and you'll find a few article that'll be helpful. iocdf has a good one. it's just ocd. | ocd | 7czj01 |
i'm lonely. i had a super lonely birthday filled with hating myself and crying for hours. i'm so tempted to meet up with my sociopath friend and suck his dick for a distraction/for validation/to not be alone. my housemate/very innocent ex who helps me survive would be very hurt by my actions. i don't know what to do. my friend has been sending me very suggestive messages and i feel so tempted because i hate myself so much and can't stand being alone.. | i'm drinking and feeling impulsive | 7s8z6v | masturbate? self sooth in other ways. treat yo self, dont treat someone else | bpd | 7s8z6v |
that’s right. was turnttt up on sobriety yesterday and spent 13 hours building a platform loft bed with 4 feet of storage underneath. best hangover of my life!! honestly, sobriety is awesome. i have way less anxiety, and i’m learning to enjoy life again. [photos of the loft bed!](WEBLINK) | i got blackout sober on saturday night and woke up with a loft bed! | au914b | pictures or we can't trust you were really that lit and wasted on motivation and follow through. | stopdrinking | au914b |
hello, me (23m) and my girlfriend (26f) of 6 months recently got into some nasty arguments, and she has become increasingly passive aggressive with me over the past two weeks. she is an au pair here in the us, but she's going back to her home country, spain in a week for her vacation (3 weeks). she really misses her family, her dog is depressed and won't eat, her grandfather is dying, and her younger sister is suffering from some kind of psychological issue where she gets anxiety when she's away from her mother. her parents are divorced, and her mom is having some difficulties making ends meet because her father refuses to pay for child support. so i do think that's she's very homesick at this point. she hasn't seen her family in 8 months, and apparently family is huge in spanish culture. well, in the past month we got into arguments that basically centered around me apparently not caring about her and being negligent. we were at a bar recently, and i didn't do anything when some guy hit on her. she said she wanted to feel protected, i said "you're a grown woman, it's not hard to say no to a guy, and he wasn't forcing himself on you." in another instance, i went to montreal for work, and i didn't text her for 2 days, and she got upset that i didn't keep her updated. i should also note that, for the first time i exploded at her and yelled at her for being so passive aggressive for two weeks. i regret that, obviously, but i was just so fed up with her treatment. she said she wanted a break to clear her mind, to calm down, and to spend time with her family and friends back home. she said she has so many feelings right now, and she needs time to think about us. when asked, she said she wouldn't be "looking for anything from anyone," and that we would have a date to talk over things when she got back. she said that she still believes a relationship is possible, but she doesn't know what's going to happen once she goes on this trip. basically, i believe she's torn between staying in the us, and going back to spain for good. or maybe she made up her mind already . two days after her break declaration, i had a talk with her in person, and i explained to her in a very calm manner that i loved her, i cared for her, and i'm willing to make the changes she wanted in order for this relationship to work. i also said i'd be willing to see a psychologist to work through some of these issues while she was away. i have since been in no contact. she also said she loves me, but her kisses weren't as deep, not as passionate, and she didn't want to stay for sex. which is a first. she also took her clothes from my apartment, saying she needed them for spain. she left her deodorant and toothbrush when i asked her if she wants to take those as well, lol. not sure if this is at all worth mentioning; perhaps i'm looking too much into this. as i said she's an au pair, and she made it clear to me that she wants to marry me. she even asked for a promise ring, which i laughed at. so is this her way of saying goodbye for good? or do i have a shot when she comes back? what is the best course of action here, given all that i said? please give it your all, because i'm willing to do it for her now. thank you. tl:dr girlfriend thinks i don't care about her, got into nasty fights, now reconsidering staying in the us with me by taking a break. edit: she is leaving next thursday morning for 3 weeks. it is friday morning as a write this. she said she wanted a break this monday. edit: just wanted to add some closure to the discussion. i ended up breaking it off with her. i asked her how she feels emotionally about us, whether she feels in the relationship or not. she said she's "emotionally done." so i decided to nuke it. said via text, "ok. enjoy your vacation, it was a great learning experience." removed her from all social media, threw away all her stuff in my apartment. now that i've gone through this, it's amazing to see how quickly a woman can turn her heart off to a man, regardless of how special she may have seemed. i don't mean that in a bad way necessarily, just an observation. we were literally talking about marriage and kids 3 weeks ago with high hopes. haha how naive of me. i want to thank everyone for the advice. time to listen to mr. brightside and move onto the next one. | girlfriend (26f) wants a break with me (23m) after fighting | 69egv6 | it is difficult to air things out when arguments are toxic yelling matches. therapy focused on anger management and effective communication is a good long term bet. | relationship_advice | 69egv6 |
i don't know, everyone seems to have a "thing". i'm too preoccupied with being miserable. i go on social media and everyone is living it up, all my exes leave me because i'm miserable. i just can't seem to get it right. i'm half good at a lot of things, not good at anything. poor as fuck and it's hard for me to be interested in anything. i just have no idea how to live a normal, full life. everything is constant worrying and second guessing and self-loathing. i thought i was a better person than this. theres got to be more to life than this? how do i find it? | don't know how to function properly | e07c1x | ditch social media. develop a capacity to mindfully see your world - both internal and external - with a beginner’s mind. | depression_help | e07c1x |
i'm 16 and recently i've been smoking and drinking and yesterday i had a really bad trip and my friend went to the counselor today bc i drunkenly and completely stoned tried to kill my self and now i'm about to be admitted into a hospital once my mom gets home. i'm going to get kicked out if she finds out. i libe i'm the us. does doctor patient confidentiality apply? | please please help me i'm about to be admitted into the psych ward | 6xi4k5 | someone who works in a psychward here. usually you get drug tested on admittance, so they would know. as for patient/doctor confidentiality it depends on the state laws, but typically your mother will be told the details. as for the 72 hour eval they can be a bit boring. bring yourself some books, a deck of cards, or something to help keep you occupied while in there. make sure the things you bring do not have and chords, shoelaces, belts, etc. they will all go right into contraband if you do. the psychward can be a scary place especially if you haven't seen other psychosis before, if you are feeling unsafe let the staff know. best of luck! pm me if you have any questions. | mentalhealth | 6xi4k5 |
i am constantly terrified of coming off as rude or unpleasant to other people, even those i don't know at all (such as cashiers, shop assistants, etc.) and will often dwell on my interactions with these people for hours afterward, sometimes forgetting completely what i was going to do or purchase. my anxiety skyrockets as a result, so i often end up doing things for myself, even though it might take me three times as long as opposed to just asking someone to assist me. does anyone else feels this way? is this rational? | absolutely terrified of being rude to others | 3jx28d | some people are rude on purpose and feel no sense of guilt about it. you are already in a good starting place. be willing to apologize, to receive feedback (even if it isn't given sensitively) with grace, and to make an effort to repair relationships when they get rocky. relationships worth having will be difficult sometimes. being willing to repair them is much more important than never offending anyone in the first place. | aspergers | 3jx28d |
sorry if im posting in the wrong sub just let me know and suggest the appropriate place to post it instead my emotions and moods can be hugely volatile in response to interpersonal relationships. im a uni student and have struggled making and meeting friends in the past and have had issues with social anxiety. i feel i have largely tackled and solved those problems however when it comes to maintaining relations i feel far too dependent on the outcome of each and every interaction i have with people. if a friend does not reply or ignores a message for a while my mood will almost immediately deteriorate. the reverse is also true, if a friend or acquaintance replies and good conversation ensues or whatever, my mood immediately and visibly improves. the thing is i understand that people might not reply because they are busy or dont have time on hand immediately or it even might be that they dont like me and being sad about that doesnt help me one bit, yet regardless of me being aware of these perfectly logical explanations my mood immediately worsens or improves depending on the outcome of the interaction. i fucking hate this volatility of emotion i feel like some helpless toddler. do you guys have any advice for me on solving this issue? | how to be less outcome dependent? | 8ul493 | as per usual, i'll recommend working with a therapist on these issues. you may find it extremely helpful. it may even be more helpful to find a therapy group. might i suggest looking into a dbt (dialectical behavior therapy) group. while i rarely suggest a particular modality for folks, i think the basic skills training in regards to emotional regulation, specifically when it comes to interpersonal relationships might be helpful for you. best of luck! | socialskills | 8ul493 |
just fast forwarding and skipping the difficult parts thus missing everything and everyone you love. | weed is the remote from click | j4x95p | i’ve never thought of it like that but you’re so right | leaves | j4x95p |
i know he thinks i'm cute but when it comes to getting off i just don't cut it for him. he's never said it directly though. more than half the time we have sex he doesn't finish & it's always doggy style. and when i look back he looks away or closes his eyes. it kills me. we've been together for 4 1/2 years and he's made comments over the years that gives me problems with my body. i never had a problem with my almost flat chest until him , when we first started dating i asked what turned him on, he said big boobs. i was clearly devastated. he once asked me if i could even breastfeed if we had kids , also felt like a kick in the stomach. he pays no attention to my boobs during sex. he's always looking at girls online. i feel like i can never be fully aroused because i'm constantly focusing on "do i look like a little boy rite now" we have no sensualness , or foreplay. ever. i don't feel sexy anymore because of it and i'm constantly in envy of boobs. it makes me feel inadequate. i try so hard to keep him interested. i do my makeup and hair everyday i try and dress cute. i feel so lost. & it's giving me horrible jealousy problems. some advice pleaaase. | boyfriend isn't sexually attracted to me [27m][24f] | 5pxji9 | he's a very immature lover. you need to have a big talk about sexuality. hopefully you'll get to a better place. don't let a guy be the one who determines your 'sexy-self esteem', we are sexy by our own standards, not others. you are sexy because in your heart and mind, you are sexy. don't get hung up on breasts. we all have our own bodies, and we're all sexy. if someone loves us and finds us sexy, that's great. if someone doesn't, then he's mr. wrong. we have no choice in life but to be ourselves. people either love us or they don't. if they don't, it's time to move on. 'cause there are guys out there who will love you for being you. | relationship_advice | 5pxji9 |
i’m a senior in high school and am planning on becoming a therapist in college. i have very noticeable self harm scars on my arms. will having scars affect my work? will it decrease my chances of becoming a ‘successful’ therapist? would it be inappropriate to show them/should i hide them on the job? if i don’t hide them, what should i say if a client asks me about them? | can i be a therapist with obvious self harm scars | dzhh2x | it is more difficult in psychiatry, as you will have periods in training were short sleeves are mandatory. | askatherapist | dzhh2x |
currently there is a redditor who is posting that they are at serious risk of being accused of apostasy. since apostasy is considered a crime worthy of the death penalty due to the religious law in their country, this person's life is at risk. what would be the safest country for them to go to be? are there any countries that would allow them to apply for asylum? alternatively, are there any countries where they would not be at risk of being deported back to their country? ​ thanks in advance. ​ edit (03/18/19): thank you all for your answers! | emergency: what is the safest country for someone who is at risk of being accused of apostasy to go to? | b1xn9j | not shure reddit is a safe place for this kind of question. i suppose nothern europe is an option. | needadvice | b1xn9j |
a little over two months ago i met an amazing guy on tinder. (surprising way to meet someone, i know, but it seemed like we had an immediate connection and it's been great.) it's been sort of a long-distance thing, because our colleges are a little over an hour apart, but we've made it work and have hung out several times. i can honestly say that this is the best 'relationship' i've ever had. he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend (i know for a fact he thinks of us as 'talking', and his friends / family know about me) and he says the most romantic things to me - seriously the kind of things you'd hear in a romance movie. we used to constantly flirt all day, texting each other back and forth, talking about everything. however, recently, we've barely been talking. he had his finals last week, so i know that he was extremely busy. but now his exams are over, and even though he's working a lot, i still assumed he'd be able to text me sometimes. the only time we talk, though, is if i text him first, which i never used to do because he always texted me first. if i send him a message, he answers immediately and we talk for a while, flirting like we always did. but i worry that i'll seem too clingy, so i keep waiting for him to text me. it's been several days since we've last talked, and he 'likes' all my facebook posts, and watches my snapchat stories, but no messages. i'm so worried that something's wrong. now that school's over for me, i'll be able to go see him basically whenever, but i don't know why he's suddenly so distant. any suggestions on what i should do? i know i should probably ask what's going on, but i don't know how to ask. | (19/f) beyond confused about my situation with the guy (21/m) i've been seeing. | 6aovpg | be direct. tell him what you feel and ask what he feels. | relationship_advice | 6aovpg |
age : 28 sex: m height: 171cm weight: 81kg bodyfat: ~15% primary complaint: nightshift worker getting 3-4hours sleep a night. sex drive has completely gone, injury in leg seems unable to heal after two weeks of physiotherapy. depression and anger growing at a scary rate. duration: nearly 1 month existing medical issues: none current medications: paracetamol 500mg & voltaren 25mg for leg pain. also take 6mg melatonin & 400mg magnesium before bed to try assist sleep. recreational: none. don't drink, smoke or do drugs. i'm a healthy person, lift 4-5x a week as well as do cardio 3-4x a week. eat a balanced diet consisting of 2,800cals (180g p/310g c/92g f) and drinking 4l of water per day yet i'm having some serious issues with this no sleep, depression and lack of sex drive. i've had testosterone levels checked for the sex drive issue and levels are 634ng/dl. have quit caffeine and developed a sleep hygeine routine (blacked out room, fan, ear plugs, eye mask and supplements) with no success at all. just went to doctor and he prescribed me 15mg avanza (mirtazapine) to treat my sleep, depression and leg pain but i wanted a second opinion. i'm reading a lot about people having extreme weight gain. apart from quitting my job i can't think of anything else to fix these issues. need help. | lack of sleep, loss of sex drive, nagging injury, depression. | fh9zwb | do you only work nights? do you sleep at regular times of the day? how long have you been an night worker? is working at regular hours an option for you? how is your motivation to excersize and eat? can you describe how the not sleeping goes? do you have social interactions? how is your living situation? is weight gain right now worse than the sleeplessness, etc? any medical/psychiatric history? | askdocs | fh9zwb |
i recently failed my big final year of university due to sa and now i am having to try and look for a job. how does someone with severe sa diagnosed by a doctor go about looking for a job. | how do i get myself out there looking for a job? | 9yfnri | the same way anyone else does. everyone has anxiety and most people experience a fair amount when looking for/applying to/interviewing for jobs. the worse your anxiety is, the harder it is to push through, but if you want or need a job then it's something you have to do. looking for jobs in a way that's going to increase your chances of being successful are really going to push your limits but be good for you as you'll be forced to expose yourself to a ton of anxiety producing situations. best thing to do is to go around to or call around to as many companies you can that may be hiring in the field you want to work in and ask if they have any job openings, ask questions about the jobs, and find out what the application process is like. social anxiety no matter how severe, is only as debilitating as you allow it to be. that doesn't mean you get to choose whether you're terrified or not. it just means that when you're terrified, you make the choice of whether you push on, run back, or stay stuck. | socialanxiety | 9yfnri |
i'm not sure how long this will be, or where i should start exactly. i am 36/m, and i feel totally lost. my father was diagnosed with a brain disease when i was about 10, and was a turbulent figure - paranoid, confabulating, and angry. he blamed others in his life for its unwinding. my parents divorced when i was 14. one day they were just living separately. there was no discussion. my father would ask me to report to him about my mom - would get very depressed about how he was alone. he was very angry at everyone, stopped paying his bills, stopped working in his businesses. he couldn't maintain things anymore and went on a downward spiral. i went to therapy in my late 20's to try and get some perspective. it helped a bit. but my therapist was killed in a car accident and she was just... gone. i don't know if i've really dealt with this. i've tried going back to therapy a few times but i can't seem to stick with it. 18 months ago i lost my job. i was having trouble concentrating at work. i worked in software - i made games and apps and helped companies solve problems. about a year prior, my father had been diagnosed with cancer and i was helping him get to/from appointments. he is in his late 70's and financially unstable. i tried to help him financially over the years and he squandered it all. he is severely in debt and his estate is being threatened by many creditors. i took on this burden to try and help, and i failed. he ultimately shut me out from really helping, and so i've lost my money and the outlook on saving the rest is poor. i am so frustrated with him. i am frustrated with myself. i am engaged to a woman who really cares for me, but i don't think that i feel the same way. i don't know what to do here. i am afraid to tell her. i don't know what to do and it makes me feel very anxious. i feel very angry a lot of the time. i feel like a failure. i feel as though i could be doing more with my life but i distract myself with reddit or just reading random junk on the internet. i judge myself constantly, and convince myself that i'm too stupid to go back to school or do something better. i am in decent shape, i think i'm a good looking guy, i can be personable and outgoing at times. i know that if i applied myself i could probably have a better life. but i am scared and feel so angry/anxious all the time. i just feel like i have no direction. i was a terrible student and i often think that maybe i'm just "below average" and should accept it. i just have such a terrible outlook and feel very afraid. i'll be 40 in a few years and i feel like i'm 15 - i don't have anything figured out. sometimes i just want to scream, mostly at myself. i just want a different life. i want to feel confident and i want to wake up without the anger and terror i feel. i want to be someone else. i'm so lost. | i need to write. | ct2qxq | your post really resonated with me a lot. it's really uncomfortable to be in relationship with people who love you when you feel a lot of shame or self-loathing. i think you are taking the right steps with this post just by being honest. i really believe the sayings that the truth will set us free and that we are only as sick as our secrets. of course, it can be difficult to find those people that we can really be honest with, and it can be hard enough to be honest with ourselves. it sounds like you are dealing with a lot of trauma and shame and getting really worn down by the weight of it all. everything you are carrying is making you feel stuck and separated from others. i wish i could give you the secret recipe that would free you into that different life that you want but if you keep seeking and digging and telling the truth, i know you will find it. i am working on this too. happy to talk more if it'd be helpful. | mmfb | ct2qxq |
am i being crazy, or is my boyfriend up to no good? please help me decide. first, i will apologize for the length of this - but i feel that every detail that i've included is necessary because no one detail by itself is incriminating. but adding them all up together is really worrying me sick. what do you guys think? here's some backstory: my boyfriend and i have been dating for three years, and living together for two years. about a year ago, he deleted his facebook, claiming the sole reason was because he was annoyed that he didn't even know the vast majority of his 1,500 friends. he made a new facebook a few months afterwards, but didn't add or accept any friends on it. he didn't tell me he made a new one - i stumbled upon it on my own. he claimed he just wanted to be able to follow pages that he liked and read articles. well, fast forward to three weeks ago. i asked him to drop me off at an appointment, and when i came back to the car, i must have startled him -- because he slapped his phone case shut as fast as can be and stumbled over his words to ask me how my appointment went. i said, "why did you close your phone the second you saw me coming?", to which he didn't even respond. a few minutes down the road, he tried asking me about my appointment again, and i ignored the question, instead saying "i'm not trying to accuse you of anything, and i trust you, but i feel uncomfortable about the way you acted with your phone. may i please see what you were looking at?" after arguing for a few minutes he opened his phone to show me that he was on a girl's facebook page. he said "i want to start adding friends on facebook again." he apparently came to that conclusion awhile ago, because he had already had dozens of people added...but never told me about it. when i asked him why he chose to "start" adding friends now, after so long, he claimed that he only wanted to add people whom he already knows well, who are professional, and/or are positive influences. anyone he didn't know well, or who were neutral, bad influences, party girls, or strictly eye candy were people he stated he would refuse to even consider. i was okay with this until, when i went to add him myself a couple of days later, i saw that his friends list was made up nearly entirely of females, most of them girls he used to party with in college and who post nothing of substance: just photos in bikinis. additionally, one of the girls he went out of his way to add was a girl whom i had told him multiple times about, because my ex-boyfriend of four years cheated on me with her for an extended time and she cyber-bullied me for years after the incident. he knows her name and he could not have added her without knowing or remembering. of course, it really isn't my place to police who he adds on facebook, but because there was such a stark contrast between the kinds of people he told me he would be adding, and the kinds of people he had actually added.... i felt somewhat betrayed and like he had just told me what i wanted to hear (and not the truth). so i asked him about a couple of girls in particular and he had every excuse in the book as to why he added them. first, he said "i don't even know who they are!", so i asked him why, then, he told me he only wanted to add people that he already knew. his next excuse was "well, i kind of know who they are, but they haven't done anything to prove that they are a negative influence on my life, so why not add them? who knows, one of them might be a doctor who can give me professional advice." well, i told him, that none of the girls even went to college, and some of them didn't even have jobs, so why else would he want to befriend them? "maybe they will be doctors someday." i decided to just trust him, although i was upset, because i could tell the conversation was leading nowhere. that, and he told me he wasn't looking for anyone else or anyone to replace me. "i'm not like other guys. i only want to be wi5h you. i can be friends with girls without wanting anything romantic out of it." this made me feel better...... but he has continued being extremely secretive with his phone. i asked him about it once in a very non-confrontational way, and he told me the reason why is because he had just started talking to a few girls from his nursing class. i asked him why and what about, and he told me he texts them to talk about our relationship when he is stressed and his dreams and goals in life. when i asked who they were, he refused to give any names. but because i appreciated his apparent honesty about a touchy subject, i didn't push any further... although i thought it was really strange because he has told me a million times that he doesn't even know the names of the girls in his nursing classes, although he has had class with them nearly every day for 2 and a half years. even after me asking him about the way he has been acting about his phone, he continues to be shady with it. when he calls me on the phone as he is driving home from somewhere, i can hear the facebook messenger notification sound go off multiple times on his phone as he is talking to me -- i can even hear him typing back while pretending to listen to me, saying "yeah" at all of the semi-appropriate times. but when he is home, his phone volume is always completely off. not even on vibrate. he keeps his phone by his side every second, including to go to the bathroom or just to get a water bottle in the kitchen. any time i enter a room and he is on his phone, he snaps it shut really fast. and he never will open his phone in front of me. if he uses it in front of me at all, he tilts the screen away. we needed to use google maps as a gps the other day, but my phone was nearly dead, so i picked his up to use it. he snatched it out of my hands and fumbled to put the address in himself as he was driving. here's the big one: while he was at drill over this past weekend (he is in the army national guard), he didn't talk to me for almost two days...although all of his friends were posting on facebook non-stop, so i know he had service and was capable of reaching out to me. i didn't want to be clingy, so i didn't try to text or call him. but eventually i started getting paranoid, and i searched him up on facebook (he refuses to add me as a friend, but his profile is mostly public). the first thing i notice is that he hid his relationship info. two days prior, and ever since he has had his new facebook, i know for a fact it displayed that he was "in a relationship since may 2014." now, he had his relationship info hidden. he had to have done that at some point in the previous two days..... that last bit is a major concern to me, and i really want to ask him about it. but he told me after the first conversation i had with him about the content of his friends on facebook that he never wanted to hear me bring up any issue i was having with him again, no matter what it was related to, unless i had concrete evidence. well, i feel like going out of your way to remove your relationship info off of facebook (while also refusing to add your own girlfriend as a friend or have any trace of her anywhere on social media)....is a pretty concrete thing to do. do you guys agree? additionally, this morning, when his alarm went off, i asked him "do you love me?" and he said "yes, why?" and i told him i didn't want him to break my heart. he got extremely defensive and angry, so i just let it go and pretended to fall back asleep. when he thought i was asleep, i saw him pick up his phone and type in a password to take his phone off of "private mode".... also, about a month or two ago, he randomly accused me of going through his phone. i didn't!!!! i looked in his phone for about 10 seconds one time two years ago, but i told him right away because i felt guilty and promised to never do it again. i reminded him of this, and asked why he thought i was going through his phone? he said "i don't know, i just feel like you are." this was before i noticed anything was astray, so his accusation felt like it came out of absolutely nowhere. i hadn't thought about it again until now.. but now that i'm stringing a bunch of his strange behaviors together, he has me wondering: why would he accuse me unless he had something to hide? what do you guys think? am i being crazy? is he doing something behind my back? is it possible to remove your facebook relationship info without having bad intentions? what do you guys think i should do? i'm scared to approach him about it again, because he made it clear he won't discuss any future concerns with me without concrete evidence, even if i am feeling really scared and think i'm sure - he said it would be the last straw. how should i approach this? any advice? ----------------------------------------------------------- tl;dr my boyfriend made a new facebook, won't add me, removed his relationship info, has no trace of me on social media, is starting new friendships in person with girls whose names he will not release (and whom he claims to talk to for support when we are fighting), turns off his volume and notifications on his phone, and is being really shady with his phone in general. what do i do?! | am i (22/f) being a crazy bitch or is my boyfriend (24/m) being super shady?! | 64l9mv | he's acting like he doesn't want this relationship i'm afraid | relationship_advice | 64l9mv |
my career is not where i want it to be. i look back and see times where i fucked up and an apology is probably warranted. however, i've known people to apologize for their actions and lose respect because of it (by both me and others). likewise, i know people who have done many things warranting an apology, but they don't -- and i and others respect them because of it. --- **tl;dr**: the age-old question of whether you'd rather be respected [feared] or loved, but i'm having trouble reconciling the middle-ground i need for my career. | i [30s m] believe that i acted poorly toward a powerful professional ally (40s m) a couple years ago. how do you draw the line between apologizing but not looking weak or obsequious? | 78bkqp | apologizing for a wrong is never weak | relationship_advice | 78bkqp |
i have been single forever and i think my biggest obstacle, aside from the non-committal city i live in, is the fact that i think i'm solely being seen as a sexual object. i suspect this is because, while i am in shape, i am naturally curvy with a very tiny waist. i also have more of a sensual looking face. i have a great career, i am very intellectual and love books, lots of hobbies that have nothing to do with looks, and i steer the conversation away from sexual topics. unfortunately, i still feel like its not enough because whatever i do, i am still seen as a sexual object and used for sex when i'd like to have an actual relationship. i don't wear anything suggestive, although i do have to wear form-fitting clothing or i look sloppy and overweight just because i am curvy at the top and bottom. i don't wear a lot of makeup. i'm thinking about wearing my hair up on dates from now on. maybe wearing pearl earrings or something that can subconsciously implant the stereotype of "classy" into their brain. what else can i really do different? | how to not be seen as a sexual object, or be seen as more than that | 5o1jbg | you can't control what other people think. like any woman who wants a ltr, you have to filter out the fwb guys. the whole world objectifies women, including many women (53% of white women voted for a man who bragged about committing a felony!!!). you can select who you relate to. | relationship_advice | 5o1jbg |
(18f, height 5,6, weight 9st) had dental work done which hurt so much that for the past 3 days i’ve been downing paracetamol, but me being an idiot (in a lot of pain) had been taking 2000mg every 1-2 hours. honestly i think i might have took about +20,000mg in the past three days. a couple of hours ago i got a strong impulse to vomit accompanied by nausea, now i have constant pain in my abdomen as well as above and basically feel like pure shit. don’t know if i should go to a&e. is this a death sentence or am i overreacting? | accidental paracetamol overdose | amipf4 | that is an enormous amount of paracetamol. overdose is treatable, but it needs to be treated as soon as possible. go to a&e. | askdocs | amipf4 |
we've been together for 9 years, married for 2. i got pregnant after 9 months of being together, when i was 20. we have 7&3 year old boys who are my entire world. we have had the same issues for years. he does not have good relationship with my parents, although both sides have tried time and time again. they find him rude, lazy, and offensive, they don't like how he parents our kids and treats me (or lack of treating me i suppose) he's not violent or physically abusive, but has a bad temper and yells at me and kids occasionally. i've tried talking to him so many times about what i need from him in our marriage, like showing me more affection, putting an effort into showing me he loves me, being calmer and listening to my feelings, trying hard to make my family a priority to him as well, not letting the household responsibilities all fall on me, etc basically i feel like i have a third son. i don't think he respects me at all, and i recently feel like he isn't even in love with me anymore. honestly i don't know if he has been for years, or if i even am anymore. we hardly ever have sex, and he doesn't even cuddle me at night. (i do try to initiate physical intimacy, and not just sexually. i usually feel unreciprocated and it makes it hard to get emotional rejected time and time again.) he is currently on stress leave and undergoing heavy counselling and personal training (pstd and bipolar) i was overjoyed when he took steps to get better but it's been 3 months and i see very little progress, other than the fact that he's stopping drinking so much. i feel like i'm beating a dead horse and that he's never going to be what i need him to be, what my sons need. i love him but i don't feel loved or valued and at 28, and 9 years of trying, i just don't know if i have it in me anymore. any advice is welcome. my brain and stomach are in constant turmoil lately. | when do you know your marriage is over? | 5li3gy | see if you can get in with him for marriage counseling. if no progress is made after 2-3 months you'll have your answer. | relationship_advice | 5li3gy |
i'm going to make an appointment with a behavioral health center and check if i do have add or adhd. i'm 95% sure i have it. it's sabotaged my work and personal life but mostly my past jobs. my insurance company told me they will only cover the first two appointments. if i need sit down with someone 2 times they'll cover it and of course my medication. ill have to pay out of pocket for if i want any future appointments. not sure what else to do at this point. i think my only option is to take something natural that will both help my depression and adhd what do you guys think? | what choices do i have now? bad news from insurance company. | aiequ4 | natural remedies are basically a waste of time for adhd. people can argue if they want but the research shows very little support for natural remedies for it; i’d hate to see you waste a bunch of money and time. you’ll likely be able to get what you need in 1-2 appts and your doctor may be willing to work with you on a sliding scale fee if you need further appts afterward. | adhd | aiequ4 |
i finish work at 9am and every day i see the same fella on my way home when i stop to grab something for my breakfast, he's buying about 7 litres worth of beer, a can of dog food and bread and ham. he is buying the same thing everyday at the same time and looks rough and haggard, the cashier was looking at him with a mixture of pity and disgust and he could tell how she was looking at him and he in turn looked embarrassed. felt really bad for him and wondered is that how i looked when i would buy beer pretty much every night. made me wonder what he is going through and if he will ever get straightened out. also made me think why couldn't the cashier give him an empathetic look or just no look at all. | think i saw my past self today at the shops | dp78s8 | my heart just broke a little bit for that guy. i am glad that you escaped his fate though. iwndwyt | stopdrinking | dp78s8 |
are there websites or resources for finding caring and helpful therapists in your city? how do you find a therapist/doctor that will listen to you, not just prescribe you medication and send you on your way? do any of you know of any helpful websites that can point me in the right direction? | how do you find a good therapist? | x9ggi | honestly, a really good resource for locating therapists is google. just type in your city and "counseling" or "therapy" and it should provide a good list to start from. for your second question: therapists don't prescribe medicine, psychiatrists do. if you want talk therapy, see a therapist (counselor for example). | depression | x9ggi |
my friend (40 y/o female otherwise in good health) was unexpectedly diagnosed with a lime-sized meningioma near her pituitary gland and the top of her brain stem. she had surgery to remove it. while the drs thought it went well, she has remained in a coma for over 3 weeks. she apparently had a small stroke in her right frontal lobe during surgery but is showing cerebral activity. she had a tracheotomy for a ventilator after the first week. she has made some minor facial and limb movements in the past week. yesterday they had to start medication because her blood pressure was too low. what is the likelihood that she might wake up? or any advice of where to find stats about comas after brain surgery? i’ve searched online and can’t find anything. thanks for any info you can provide! | coma after brain surgery | cv06yp | we don't have enough information to speculate very usefully. this is a question that should be asked of her medical team. | askdocs | cv06yp |
as above | when does at-risk mental state become frank psychosis? | 3swa8t | when a person starts exhibiting psychotic symptoms (e.g., hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, cognitive symptoms, affective blunting, etc) | mentalhealth | 3swa8t |
for the past several months, maybe even a year or two, i haven't really been able to be sad. i don't really feel anything when i watch an emotional film or hear something sad on the news. things either don't effect me at all or i start making sarcastic jokes about what i'm watching. i might say that i'm sad, but i don't really feel it. i haven't been able to cry in a long time too. crying used to help me feel better when i was stressed or frustrated, but since i haven't done that in a while i don't have any other way to really relieve stress so it's just been building up. a lot. i often feel an odd sensation that makes me feel hopeless and pessimistic too. i didn't expect to feel this way until i was an adult. is this a problem or am i just blowing things out of proportion? | i need to know if this is a problem or not. | 6szv4d | this is one of the ways that depression can manifest. as your mind works to shut down emotions and feelings that you'd prefer not to feel, the whole system can shut down. if as the other commenter tifde said you are also unable to experience joy, that may be a good indicator of this occurring. this can be pretty unhealthy as eventually, everything built up will bubble to the surface. it may not be a big deal for you now, and hopefully that's the case, but it might be worth talking to a therapist. | mentalhealth | 6szv4d |
since i was a kid i have had ocd. it's not until a year when i was 23 and left college that i started developing really bad ocd and anxiety. i live at home while finding a college level job. my anxiety and bad ocd that developed is centered around health issues and blood clots. i worry all the time i have something wrong with me and that i'll die. i always ask my parents health questions to calm me down, text them at night, or while i'm working. sometimes, once a month or every 2 i wake them up in the night to ask a question. my parents hate me and tell me that daily and say i'm crazy and that they'll send me to an institution. i'm really scared and it's so hard having nobody in my corner. i see a psychiatrist who prescribes me meds but they never work. i've tried many different ones over the past 11 years and they never help. i've seen some therapists too but that doesn't really do it for me. i'm in desperate need of advice. my parents say one more time waking them up and i'm getting kicked out and put in a home for crazy people or group home. i only wake them up when i'm very worried i'm going to die. i really hope someone sees this and gives advice. this is so hard. | i can't deal with my anxiety / ocd anymore. really need some advice. | 4w8uyt | i'm not sure admission is the way forward, but you must be feeling isolated and in desperate need of emotional support, and even just someone to say that you're not alone with this. there's many support groups, but depends on location. where are you? also what meds are you on at the moment? | askdocs | 4w8uyt |
heres the results of my dhea and testosterone blood test.[here](WEBLINK) about me. male 21 on humira crohns diagnosis in 2012 no previous medical issues use cannabis recreationally no other drug or alcohol use 3 surgeries 2 of them being resections and one a hernia. i just began working out a week ago idk if that matters but prior i lived sedentary | can someone tell me if my testosterone is low? | aj3kbi | no, your testosterone is not low. | askdocs | aj3kbi |
hi all, i have a family member in a mental hospital who only trusts me in the family to discuss his treatment. his doctor recommended ect (electro-convulsive therapy) but the pamphlets and information don't state clearly what the risk of him having permanent memory loss or other brain damage are. he asked me if i could bring him some clinical studies or any other information (from a respected source). (he's a very intelligent social worker so it doesn't matter how dense the material is as long as it's from a reputable source.) do any of you have any studies, books, articles, or additional information you could please send me? i will be doing the research as well but since it might affect the rest of his life i figured the more information i can get, the better. i am visiting him tomorrow evening to drop off anything i can find. tl;dr: please send me any information you have on the adverse, permanent effects of ect. p.s. he is bipolar and they want to use it to treat his depression. thank you all. | ect information request | d79ky1 | hello! one of the best places to look up this information will be through the food and drug administration (they are in the us). they've put out their final overarching review and their stance on the use of ect devices and the effectiveness/drawbacks of ect at the end of 2018. you will find in the document 75 studies that they draw from when making their decision. since they are the us' regulatory body on medical devices and medications, it's pretty thorough. you will find section "ii-c" to be of particular importance, in addition to "iii-b" and "iii-c". [WEBLINK](WEBLINK) | mentalhealth | d79ky1 |
hello, my name is chris. many people claim my parents are too strict. a way my parents show this is their philosophy on grades. if i don’t get a 100% on an assignment they are angry, frustrated and disappointed. if it is above 95% they have me review the 5% i missed and if worse i am yelled at and called names like “stupid, worthless, a disgrace…” i currently am a freshman in high school and have straight a’s. i also play the piano for 11 years, baritone saxophone for 5 years and the flute for 7. when i was younger, my parents would go to extreme measures like “no playing with friends,” or “you don’t get_____ if you don’t get an a.” they do not allow a girlfriend, television, video games, and computer (unless for studying, which i should be doing right now). though i'm on summer break i am signed up for several gifted and talented classes and science, spelling, and engineering competitions along with marching band and cross country. i am also fluent in spanish, which took many hours a day. i also practice the piano for 2-3 hours a day and am caled the same names if i mess up. as you may guess, i never rest. i can't remember the last time i had more than 4 and a half hours of sleep, which is very unhealthy. this has happened my whole life. i respect my parents very much, but am just tierd. i also can only see friends at these out of school activities. most of my friends are in marching band. i know they are doing it for the best, and i am glad they are like this comapered to the kids who parents just don't care thank you for reading. i would like to add that i take rigorouse classes, mostly honors ( i can't take ap yet) and my average night during school has around 4 hours of homework. thats a minimum and i am taking 5 honors classes out of 7 classes. my sister is a sophmore at yale university and is studying bio- engineering. my goal is stanford university | my parents are too strict. | xqqez | i know i'm going to be in the minority, but no. his parents should *not* be focusing on the social aspect. obviously he has friends in marching band. remember the propensity for slight exaggeration, even within our own minds, when presented with things that disappoint us. i say this because his parents may, indeed, have called him names. but i also know that kids that age take what their parents' say and infer that they must mean that he's stupid and a disgrace. (i say this with some authority, i'm a therapist and i have heard it from kids his age a lot. when confronting the parents, the parents will say what was said such as "you're not using your full potential" and "you're not working hard enough, we know you're capable of so much more", and the kid will say "see? they called me stupid and lazy!") he's a freshman, so that makes him, what, 14? 13? yeah, probably a bit young for a "girlfriend" and i think his parents are perfectly okay focusing on education, extracurricular activities and hobbies. no tv, no computer? hell ya, i plan on doing the same with my kids. one of the biggest problems right now is that kids aren't utilizing their imagination anymore. they are used to being entertained, instead of entertaining themselves. your brain's elasticity stops very young- your ability to be imaginative, to learn languages, to grow into art, it all peaks at a very young age. so, if you watch tv, and you aren't using your increased brain elasticity, let's say you peak at a completely random 1.0 on a scale. that is the highest brain elasticity you will reach ever. but if, at 23 (the average age for the peak), your brain has a elasticity of 2.0, the rest of your life will be a decline from 2.0. your brain at 55 will resemble the 23 year old who spent his childhood watching tv. is it strict to say "no tv, no computer, no girlfriend"? in this modern society, yes it is, but not only are his parents doing it to help him keep his grades up, they are doing it to help him when he is 30, 40, 50- you know, when they aren't around anymore. i say, more power to them. also, remember, our economy sucks right now. his parents are doing what they can to prevent him from being one of the 50% who can't get a job after graduation. so, op, my "make you feel better" is this: in 4 years, you will graduate. it seems like forever, trust me, it's not. but in 4 years, you can explore to your heart's desire. but right now, it's important for your parents to push you harder than you want, harder than you think you can, in order to show you that you can do this and to help your mind remain nimble and elastic so much longer. you *will* have a girlfriend. you *will* be able to see your friends more. you're smart, you know time is relative. it sucks to have to do it now, but you *can* do it, you can do it, excel at it and make it yours. when you graduate, you know you will be the hardest working, one of the smartest and most successful people in your class. remember, the chances of your parents' changing in the next couple of years is next to nil- but you can. and if you change your reactions to them, it will change their behavior towards you. cause and effect, right? and then, when you're in college, i would major in drama and minor in basketweaving (yes, a real minor at my old college) just to piss them off. only for a semester though. unless you really like it, then i say fuck it, do what you want. | mmfb | xqqez |
when my meds wear off, there’s no doubt i can tell. but it’s when i’m in bed, needing to get a good night’s sleep where it’s really problematic. what techniques are good for controlling that unnecessary chatter in your head? feels like my brain’s going to explode at times. i just want to sleep please. | how do you keep that excessive chatter down?! | 9zoqr3 | have you tried any type of mindfulness practice? there are many different ways to do it and i can give you some links if you want. mindfulness is more challenging for us but can still be helpful. when i lay in bed unable to sleep, i try to focus on my breath and i think the word “peace” on the inhale and “calm” on the exhale. i usually find my mind drifting or the chatter starting and have to redirect myself back to the exercise multiple times but often (not always) i’m able to do it and it can really help me go to sleep. | adhd | 9zoqr3 |
27f, no major medical issues or conditions, 145 lbs 5'5" i scheduled an appt with a nurse practitioner originally about some leg pain but then turned into chest pain. i had started birth control just a couple of weeks ago, however i've been on this particular brand before (almost a year). i took a break to let my body bounce back to it's normal cycle and went back on. the clinic ran an ekg and said "you have a heart arrhythmia, you need to go to the er and get this looked at." i arrived at the er and the doctor was very dismissive when i told her why i was there. that the nurse previous ran an ekg and noted an arrhythmia and urged me to go to the er. doctor then told me "heart arrhythmias are normal, i would never have suggested you go to the er." i felt very dumb going, should i not have? | "heart arrhythmias are normal" | irqanq | if a medical professional tells you to go to the er, you should go. it's not your job to know better or second-guess. "arrhythmia" doesn't mean enough to go on. it can be anywhere from interesting to note but not requiring anything more than monitoring (first degree heart block, pacs/pvcs) to emergency (ventricular fibrillation). that may be part of the problem: coming to the er for an "arrhythmia" tells the emergency doctors next to nothing. still, that information is enough to get another ekg and see what the fuss was about. the er can assess whether this was a "normal" arrhythmia or something concerning, and i'd be shocked if they didn't. (accidental cardiology pun!) | askdocs | irqanq |
white/native american female age 45 5 4 and 170 pounds liz franc fracture and dislocation been taking percocet presribed by doctor for 10 years i am tired of taking this medicine and worried about my liver. i have talked it over with my doc, and his advice is to slowly taper off. but i have trouble tapering due to the pain and inability to walk without pain pills. and i wonder how much of this is now...physical dependency vs actual pain. i know there are some centers that will put you in a coma for a day or two to help with the withdrawal and giving people the ability to basically come off the pills quickly. but of course, my insurance won;t pay. i am wondering if there is anything the doc could prescribe to help not only with pain....but with the withdrawal sypmtoms. i am wondering if legal marijuana would help with the pain of the actual injury, after i get off the pills. i am in a place to do this...but not sure how to proceed. and advice would help. thanks | best way to stop taking narcotics? | cflcjn | methadone for addiction/dependence can only be given in a methadone clinic. for that legal reason it’s often much easier for a slow decrease to be managed by someone specifically treating pain. that’s the crazy world we’re in. in addition to going very slowly, which can help with preventing withdrawal, there are medications that can ease (but not prevent) many of the symptoms. clonidine helps overall, anti-diarrhea and -nausea medications, and others. if the problem is pain that is uncovered by reducing pain medication, however, it will also require something else to treat that. talk to a pain specialist, if you can, about non-opioid options. | askdocs | cflcjn |
age: 20 yrs(currently studying in university) country: india sex: male drugs: no i am listing my possible symptoms below: 1. **lost in thought.** nowadays i spent most of the time deep in thoughts where i am living a completely different life.the more time i spent on those thoughts the more i lose touch with reality. most of the time i cannot stop thinking. yesterday i only stopped thinking when i hit one of the furniture while i was thinking and walking. most of the time i walk while i think. here is one of the examples of what life i live in my thoughts: "this one i started having from 3 months ago. in this thought i am a footballer and living the life of the footballer. the horrifying thing about this is i am spending say close to 1 hour in this thought(it never happens together in small intervals say of 7-8 mins but it happens throught out the day) and i live all parts of a footballers life from training, playing matches, doing press conference, travelling, having family. its horrifying because it feels very real". i currently live 2-3 other lives in one of which i am a famous businessman and other i am the pm. 2. **lack of concentration.** i think i havent been able to concentrate in a thing straight for more than 20 minutes. most of the time i am trying a thing for say 7-8 min, then i get up from my seat and spent next 10 min deep in thoughts. even when i have exam on the next day i am still unable to concentrate. two months ago i have an examination and i had two day to prepare for it, what i did was i spent all the time like this not being able to concentrate. i always knew i havent read a single thing about it and tried to sit down and study but without any success. i only got to sit down and study only when i had 2 hrs left before the exam. this is not only one instance it is happening with me with almost every exam i just cant sit down and study at all irrespective of whether i like the subject or not. even while writing this post i could not count the number of times i got lost in thought. 3. **feeling of superiority.** sometimes i feel i am a superior being, i am much more mature and much smarter and feel my friends or family will never be able to understandand me or do what i can do. 4. **struggling with the basics of daily life.** i have stopped taking care of myself. my mom has been asking me for past 2 weeks to get a shave and get a haircut because they are looking awfully bad and i am completely aware of the fact. i havent applied any soap or lotion to feets for months even though the climate is very dry. i dont cut my finger nails on time and hardly care how i look. i face trouble staying on schedule or finishing what they start. sometime when i start something i am unable to complete it. i have started around 30 courses on coursera in 2 years but havent completed any. on average i complete first two weeks in 2-3 days then i abandon it. 5. **lost connection with the society.** i havent had a meaningful conversation with anyone for months and i hardly talk with anyone without my needs. i dont like attending any event. even when some of friends make plans to go out and invite me though i sometimes go out with them but most of the time i feel like staying at home inspite of knowing i will have a great time with them. 6. **other symptoms.** loss of pleasure or interest, difficulty in remembering, difficulty in understanding instruction. | am i suffering from schizophrenia or any other mental illness? | 9rjzc5 | it sounds like something isn’t going right for guy, but it’s not something we can diagnose over the internet. it could be serious, but it also could be a reaction to what’s going on in your life. or both! i encourage you to see a psychiatrist or therapist; if that’s not possible, a regular doctor. | askdocs | 9rjzc5 |
i[m/24] like a girl [f/23]. a year back we used to intern in the same company. we used to talk a lot and slowly we got close. we used to talk for hours at a stretch. even at night we used to talk till 3-4 am. i felt really good and took this as a sign and told her everything about my feelings. but she told me that she liked me as a friend. i got really sad. but i gave her a positive response and kept friendship with her. but later on she still got close to me and started getting into my personal space. i dont know why but again like an idiot i took it as a sign and asked her out. but she rejected. later on i needed to stay away to get over her. so i told her that i need some space and time to get over this but she kept texting me. later on we had a few small fights and eventually i stopped texting her and even she did the same. now its been almost a year. but i cant get over her. i try so hard to get over her but i cant. i have got this problem that i dont usually act to feelings until and unless its very strong. and this was super strong and still is even after a year of zero communication with her. we even crossed each other during our convocation but we didnt even looked at each other. i need some advice on as to what should i do regarding this. please advice me as to what should i do? im so confused and totally into her still. i am not even able to think of any other girl. please advice something | need to get back in the game | 5v4878 | she's giving mixed sig but ultimately didn't want a rel. at this time. just need to move on and let it go. if you're depressed, please find a therapist | relationship_advice | 5v4878 |
i am really worried and we need help. we are expecting our third child. she is 24 years old, and doesn't have a great diet. she really only likes eating mostly sugar. it was something that we were both aware that could happen, but now that it is, we don't know exactly the next steps to take. i thought it would be a good idea to see a nutritionist and get a diet plan that would be specifically tailored for her and the babies needs. is that something that is even really possible? i am assuming its entirely up to us figuring out a healthier diet, and maybe an exercise plan. neither of us cook, and usually eating involves quick fixes. every pregnancy involves her getting really big. i think our first baby she gained around 80 pounds. both babies were and are very healthy. the word diabetes scares me, and i want to get on the best plan possible . short term we are planning on cutting all sugary products out. is this helpful? we just went through our house and tossed away all the candy and doughnuts and stuff. my biggest question is if we are cutting out all sugars, what the heck does she eat? she was telling me that even bread and pasta is carbs, which your body turns to sugar? i don't know alot about this, i am lucky to have a faster metabolism, and don't particularly even like sweets. seems like changing her entire eating habits is going to be hard, and im not sure the best foot to put forward... | my so has been diagnosed with gestational diabetes... | 4xhyjf | just to clarify, who has diagnosed gestational diabetes? did you not get advice from them at the time? it depends on severity. my so also got this, and hers was such that she needed insulin to control it, despite a very healthy diet. you need to get specific advice from a health professional. | askdocs | 4xhyjf |
hey guys, but i really need your thoughts/opinions on what i'm experiencing rn so about 3 months ago, i got my wisdom tooth removed and was prescribed antibiotics. fast forward for about a week later, i felt an extreme burning feeling /pain down there so i went to the doctor. she gave me medications (i took them though those weren't antifungals, she just gave me another set of antibiotics) the pain subsided and i thought i was okay after a couple of weeks so yes, i tried having sex. it was so bad that he couldn't even put the tip in. anyways , i decided to move to another doctor as the first one didn't believed it was caused by antibiotics. upon moving to the second doctor, i told her my experience. she prescribed me a fluconazole to take for 9 days. she told me to just continue it for about 2-3 weeks. so a week after my medications were done, i thought i was already okay. i did try to have sex, but again, it felt so painful we couldn't even push it in. this sounds so embarrassing but i don't know who to ask on what to do, because my own doctor just told me "to not have sex because you're still young". that wasn't even my point. i can avoid having sex for as long as she wants but what if it still hurts the next time i try? i didn't need her judgement, i needed to know what was going on inside my body, and how i could properly heal. she didn't even want to examine me. am i wrong? i don't know what to think anymore. it's so expensive in my place to even see a doctor. in case you are wondering what my age is, i am 21 years old and me and my partner are clean and hygenic. he was the first one i have ever had sex with and it is the same for him. i don't want to self medicate but i am not seeing much improvements to the fluconazole the was prescribed to drink once every three days to me. are there other ways that i could do that might help? | my own ob won’t doesn’t want to examine me, she just tells me to not have sex because i am ‘young’ | decrla | whether or not you should be having sex, which is really not up to your doctor when you're an adult, refusing to do an exam when there may be a problem sounds negligent. i'm not a gyn, but even prescribing without actually doing some verification of what's being treated sounds iffy. so i agree with the chorus telling you to find a new doctor, but i'm adding a few more reasons to it. | askdocs | decrla |
so my family’s plan for helping me cope with the fireworks is to pull the curtains and put on a movie. problem is we have no idea what movie to watch. we have a soundbar and subwoofer, so keep that in mind as you ponder my quandary. any suggestions, please don’t hesitate to share them... i have no clue what to watch other than bambi is prolly not the best choice. my 9yo son is probably going to get a special dispensation to stay up for the movie. he’s seen r movies, but we are choosy about what r flicks he sees.... so no fight club. lol thanks for your time, consideration and suggestions. i sincerely appreciate it. | suggestions for an at-home movie tonight to drown out fireworks | 8w264z | we often watch war/action movies. the fireworks blend in with the sounds of gunshots. so any of the die hards, jason bourne, james bond, etc. | ptsd | 8w264z |
hey reddit. a couple weeks ago i left my boyfriend. here's the story as to why: his ex girlfriend who is in the military had let him know that she was going to be back in town after not being home for 11 months. i gave him the okay to go see her, as long as it was during the day in a public place. however, he ended up going to see her around 10pm and met up with her at a bar against my wishes. she isn't 21 yet, so she wasn't able to buy any drinks. he however, had a couple and i'm sure probably got buzzed by the time they left. when they left, she mentioned that she wanted to drink and so they bought a 12 pack together and drank it in his car alone. this was probably around midnight. he however didn't let me know that he was alone with her. i had tried calling him a couple of times but each time he ignored my calls because he didn't want to "be rude to her" as he put it the next day. it was almost 1 am when i asked for him to come home and he simply said no because he was "still drinking." when he finally answered my calls, he said he was still drinking but that he was alone. he didn't get home until almost 4 am and when he saw that i was upset about everything he made no effort to try to make it better. he even told me that i was acting like our kitten when it gets hyper and acts like it's coked out. the next morning is when i saw the empty box of beer bottles and at that point i called him while he was working and asked if he had been alone while drinking with her and that was when he finally fessed up that he had. he said he didn't get home until late because he needed time to sober up and that he did so in his car alone but he also told me that she drank more than him so wouldn't she also need to sober up too? anyway, i packed up all my stuff and left him the next day while he was at work. it was the first time that he had done anything like this but my trust had been broken so much that i wanted nothing to do with him at that point. he wants to try to eventually get back together and make it work but i'm not sure if it'll ever be the same. he pushed me to the back burner so easily after 8 months of being together so i'm worried about what could happen in the future if we were to date again. did i make the right choice in leaving? is it worth trying to make it work in the future? i love him so much but i know that sometimes love isn't enough. | 21f needing advice on whether or not she made the right decision in leaving her 21m boyfriend. | 5m4pua | love isn't enough. there has to be 100% trust. and he needs to ask himself why he wanted that experience with her. you're asking yourself good questions. | relationship_advice | 5m4pua |
i've been with my girlfriend for on and off roughly 4 years over a 5 year span. towards the middle of the 3rd year we were on and off (always her ending it). this last break up lasted roughly 8 months. her reasoning for ending things as she told me was always the same... she wasn't ready, or she still wanted to experience life. very shortly after every break up she was with someone else. whether it was fwb or new boyfriend there was always someone shortly after we broke up. we are currently back together however during our time apart i learned somethings about my gf that cause my guard to be up. an ex friend of hers told me she has cheated on me in the past with random guys, coworkers, and even customers. i don't entirely believe the ex friend but i don't entirely rule it out either as i've caught her before having an emotional affair before. my gf is friendly but the customer thing is sticking with me as it's extremely relevant at the moment. she always seems to get some of her customers (multiple, always good looking guys) phone numbers (she is a barista). i don't know who asks for whose number first. given our past i'll admit i have some insecurities when it comes to her with other guys. so when this new guy i've never heard of starts texting her all of the sudden a lot and she tells me he is a customer, well some alarm bells start going off. according to her he recently broke up with his gf and asked my gf to drinks which she said she refused... idk what to do. things have pretty great these past 5 months. but i'm starting to feel like this is always going to bother me and will always happen. i'd like to add that despite her constantly getting customers phone numbers she gets very jealous of any girls i have as friends. am i being ridiculous here? am i overthinking things? | i [26m] am feeling unsure about progressing with my relationship with my gf [26f] after a rocky past that's seems to be repeating itself | 6aopu4 | seems like she's not quite ready to really settle down | relationship_advice | 6aopu4 |
hi reddit. this is something i have been struggling with for about 7 years now and i it's affecting every relationship i've tried to build. when i start to date someone, my libido is fairly high. for the first two weeks or so, depending on how often we see each other, i am good to go two rounds every time i see the girl. but after a relatively short period of time, i lose interest in sex, and i basically only have sex to make my partner happy. the weird thing is that i still get horny. i just don't want to have sex with that person anymore. i still wan't to masturbate and have sex with other people (of course i don't if we have gone exclusive). it doesn't matter if is a girl i am seriously dating or a fwb. i have tried the following * give it time (up to 6 months exclusively with one girl) * cut out porno and masturbation * exercise more * dating for a long time with a girl before engaging in sex it is really frustrating and i think this is partially responsible for not having had a long term relationship in 8 years. (i apologize for my english, i am not a native speaker) | my libido requires new partners | dvvyqg | i would highly recommend speaking with a sex therapist. this is much more complicated and lengthy then an internet post or two could cover. | askatherapist | dvvyqg |
this will be a wall of text, i guess this starts when i was young. when i was 11, i came to the realization that i was transgender. this was a while ago, so most people then weren't familiar with the idea, and i was stuck feeling like a freak. so naturally, i kept this to myself, and stayed bottled up with my emotions. the way i dealt with it was to put on a 'tough guy' image, which made me a bit of an asshole... combined with being a hardcore nerd, it was a recipie for being ostracized at school. when i was 13, i managed to make friends with a guy a few years older than me. he was just as nerdy as me, and we gradually became close enough for him to come out to me as gay. he knew that it doesn't bother me, and seeing his trust let me open up to him a little - i told him that i was too, because it seemed like a good stepping stone to coming out as trans. we started to date in secret, and over a few months i got the courage to come out properly to him. he didn't react how i expected him to, he was pissed off at me. he told me if i wanted to be a bitch, he'd show me what a bitch is good for, dragged me off and sexually abused me. i was in shock, and the one person i felt safe with had turned against me. this kept on going on for a little over a month, and i somehow convinced myself that this is how a normal relationship was... he was right, i was disgusting and weird. after a little over a month of this, he graduated, moved, and i never heard from him again. with all this, my plan to come out to my family was shattered, and i turned into a complete recluse... the only places i felt safe were my room, the comic shop, and the net cafe where i pretty much grew up. i went through high school being bullied for being socially awkward and withdrawn, although no one did anything to me physically. i think it was because i had a growth spurt, and ended up much taller than everyone else. even so, i was an easy target. somehow i made it through high school and into university, where by luck a few people from my gaming clan were doing the same comp sci course as me. for the first time in years, i had friends... although i learned not to properly open up to them. we'd work on counterstrike mods and maps together, but honestly it was pretty superficial. i discovered there was a queer collective at the uni, and figured that i could find the support to come out from people in it... by this point, the depression from being in the wrong body was unbearable. and it was a battle between this and the utter fear of anyone finding out. somehow though, i managed to make it though the door and go to the meetings, and for a few months i sat in there being silent, taking in the counterculture. i felt safe here, because everyone in the room had gone through a similar life to me, and one of the girls there started trying to break me out of my shell. we didn't have much in common, but at the same time she was an amazing person, and kept inviting me to hang out with her and her friend. for the first time, i had a friendship that wasn't superficial. i told her about being trans, and she helped me build my confidence. after 6 months of finding a sense of self worth, i decided i couldn't wait any longer and came out to my parents. they were completely fine with it, which somehow just made me angry - here was something i was tearing myself up over for years out of fear, and what.. i didn't need to fear anything from them? it was also a relief, but their reactions were underwhelming. a few weeks later, i saw a doctor, who referred me to a therapist, and after my first meetings i got the hormones that i had been dreaming of my entire life. for the first time, i was feeling truly happy... i was making more friends, started going to parties, and the body i hated started turning into one i was proud of. then, one day, i decided to go to the beach. i wasn't sure exactly how to dress for it - i was still in the early stage of transition, and at that point i was just androgynous. being worried that i wouldn't pass as a girl yet, i decided to just wear boardshorts. i was sunbathing, and a drunk guy came up to me. at first he was hitting on me, and that freaked me out a bit - i didn't realize that i would pass to him, and from his perspective he must've seen a topless girl at a beach. but then he started squinting at me, and asking if i was a girl. then he became angry, and started hitting me. he kept punching me until i blacked out. when i came to, i was in the surf club with emt's looking over me, and after a few questions they told me i had a mild concussion, and kept trying to cheer me up by telling me i'd have an impressive bruse. fuck them. the guy had been arrested, and i was taken to the police station to record a statement, and while i was waiting i oveheard some cops making bets on whether i was a guy or a girl. i don't know how to explain this, but that was one of the most soul crushing things to hear, especially considering being androgynous was what caused this in the first place. i became withdrawn again, and closed back into my shell. the whole world frightened me, and i just had this overwhelming sense of fear whenever i went outside. i couldn't concentrate on my uni work, and eventually dropped out. about a year later, i met my current girlfriend. she's also transgender, and i felt it was my last shot finding someone i could trust... to be perfectly honest with myself, i'm still not sure that i'm actually attracted to girls, but there was no way i could handle a guy being attracted to me. the idea just terrifies me. but she's kind, loving, and shared my interests. we moved to sydney, and got an apartment together. sydney was one of the worst places i've ever lived though, and everything just fell apart there. one night i was walking with some friends, and we were mugged by a bunch of guys with knives... we managed to run away, but my friend lost his phone to the robbers. another night, three muscly, drunk dudes decided to chase me down a street. i had no idea what they wanted, but i had no intention of finding out. another time, some guys from oxford street (basically the lgbt area of the city) invited me to their place to play some ps3 games... i was on mdma at the time, and feeling trustful, so i made a stupid decision and went with them. they had torn most of my clothes off before they realized i was trans, and their shock gave me enough time to run away. then, my girlfriend started acting weird. she was having 'memories' that were basically things i had opened up to her about, and went through wild personality changes. sometimes she'd just be angry and hateful, then other times she'd be afraid and need someone to hold her. all this went on while my flatmate turned into a psychopathic meth head / meth dealer, and would accuse us of stealing her stash. she was too tweaked out to realize that she was smoking it all. one day i just broke down, and realized i couldn't handle it anymore. we moved out to her parents place, where i thought i could just take a break from the world. but my girlfriend just started changing more, and eventually just stopped sleeping... it was becoming clear she was falling into some kind of psychosis, and once again i had to put my feelings on hold. her dad took her to the hospital, and the doctors there involuntarily committed her. i just wanted to break down and cry, but i couldn't... i had to be there for her, and help her get better. after a few months, she started to return to her old self, but i don't think i'll ever feel anything again. the last 12 years of my life were hell, and i feel completely stuck, unable to do anything at all. i can barely leave the house, and when i do there's a constant fear of so much, my heart races, i feel like i'm going to die very soon. i think i'm going to go into therapy soon, because there's no way for me to handle my life right now. but i want to tell people, because i spent all my life bottling up to protect others and not be a burden. i just want to feel normal again, and i want to talk about my life without being afraid. | i just want to share. i've never told anyone these things, but i want to start moving forward [trigger warning - sexual, physical abuse, emotional trauma] | 29yng3 | hey, i'm glad you shared! that's exactly what this sub is: a safe place to vent, connect, and communicate. i'm a graduate student in psychology, and every bit of my education and empathy is pushing me to tell you: go talk to a professional. they can help in ways you didn't even know they could. if you can get yourself to therapy, by all means, do it. in the meantime, (and i'm sure i speak for many people on this sub), you're always welcome to post here if you want to talk. you can also message me if you feel inclined. thanks again for sharing; that's a terrible story, but i'm really glad you're taking steps towards healing. that's a really good sign! | ptsd | 29yng3 |
i’ve recently, last tuesday, been diagnosed with adhd and started on concerta. i am not at full/the right dose yet, but i’m getting there. my girlfriend and i got together around six months ago and the entire she’s been mad at me for forgetting stuff, saying i’ll do something but then forgetting to do it or not being able to do it. she has also been mad because she thinks i’m being too honest or misinterpreted her instructions. she’s been mad about me somehow trying to be the best guy in the social group or trying to show off. i’ve tried to explain to her, that i’m trying to do something about it and never mean any harm or disrespect in the things i do. as soon as i told her that i got diagnosed with adhd she was quite happy, but two hours after that she started complaining that i use my diagnosis as a excuse for doing all the above stated thing. i’ve tried telling her that i can’t really control some of it but i’m trying to, but she just dismiss that as another bad excuse. tl:dr problems with girlfriend. she doesn’t really think my diagnosis is valid and thinks i’m using it as a excuse for being a dick. she is basically mad at me due to the ways adhd affect me and can’t understand that it’s my adhd. | struggles with gf | bpbvf7 | relationships are tough. it's even harder when one partner has a mental disorder the other doesn't understand. a lot of folks still don't understand the struggles of adhd and how they manifest in adults. all i can say is to allow her to be frustrated. the stuff we do sometimes is super frustrating to us and we have a close and personal understanding of why we do the things we do. they don't have that understanding so imagine how frustrating it is for them. allow her to be upset when she's upset but don't let her abuse you or make you feel bad about yourself for the adhd fuck ups. it'll do a number on your self esteem and actually make you lose motivation to do all the work you're likely already doing to manage the symptoms. folks with adhd are better than neurotypicals in a variety of areas. we're generally more creative, we can hyper focus on things, are able to not let things like forgetting to eat or not getting enough sleep get in the way of our every day functioning...… but then again, sometimes we exist in the realm of the theoretical and not practical, sometimes we get tunnel visioned into certain activities and lose track of time or forget other obligations, and sometimes we forget to eat and get enough sleep and pay for it in other ways. all a trade off. best of luck bud! you're not alone. | adhd | bpbvf7 |
tl;dr: have a weird dependence on having a can of monster by my side at all times. destroying my wallet and my chance of dieting. i always like to pretend like i don't really have an addiction but i drink at least a can of monster a day. i never drink more than 1 can a day, but when i don't have one next to me i just feel like i want it. when i do have it, i'll drink it over the course of 8 hours or so. it just feels weird to go about my day without being able to take a sip. i can get by with other carbonated drinks but i just end up drinking them really quickly and wanting a can of monster. i've had this problem since i was about 15, 4 years. i really want to stop drinking it or at least decrease the volume that i drink, the sugar amounts are insane and i'm pretty sure it's fucked me up hormone wise as i had just started to hit puberty at 15 and i still haven't finished at 19. when i do finish the can and i don't plan to sleep soon i also feel empty but can get by. i know it's not as extreme as a drug addiction but i just really wanted to talk about it. edit: just to be clear, i dont think it's the caffeine that's the issue. the other flavours of monster do nothing for me. just the green one. | i have a bit of a problem with energy drinks, and in particular monster. | 81vfk7 | i used to have a can-a-day red bull habit that i would sip through the afternoon. then while getting several cavities filled, the dentist mentioned my enamel wasn't looking too good. he asked if i drank a lot of soda, and i said no, as i don't drink cokes regularly. then i mentioned the red bull, saying i only had one a day in the afternoons. he told me that slowly sipping like that was basically bathing my teeth in sugar for half a day. if i had to, i should drink it without too much delay and brush my teeth afterward. so i guess in the name of harm reduction: if you gotta have your daily monster, don't stretch it out all day. | addiction | 81vfk7 |
i feel incredibly lost in life and don't know what to do. a lot is happening in my life. my mom is in a coma for the past 3 years because of a brain hemorrhage. she is completely brain damaged and is in a vegetative state. my cousin's estranged me because we fought with them. the fight happened because they kept on picking on my brother and i got really pissed because they didn't offer him a ride which i knew it was on purpose and they claimed it wasn't. when confronted she told my brother he was druggy, stupid, doesn't know anything, etc. . my brother then lashed out at my cousin because she wouldn't shut it and enough. imagine being blamed for thinking that my brother purposely tried to leave my uncle at the airport. so me and my brother got angry. now they estranged us and no longer talk to us, this caused be great distress. they always thought they were superior because they are doctors and we weren't. on top i started university at the age 23 recently and i feel so behind compared to my peers who are much younger then me i feel so stressed that i no longer know what to do i am lost. i feel like i am stupid and inferior then others and that i will no longer know how to cope. i barely have friends, cousins, and have a "broken family" which things were different but i don't know what to do at this point? how can i stop caring about my family? i worry about my brother too every single time he also tried to commit suicide three times. | need help i am lost in life | e09b2o | break the equation of worry and love. worry does not equal love. step back. step way back. then you can start seeing better - and choosing loving actions for yourself and for others. | depression_help | e09b2o |
hi all. i'd love any help on a social issue i'm having at work at the moment... i have a new guy in my team who i guess is sort of my manager, who i feel doesn't take me seriously, despite the fact i'm pretty senior, and knowledgable about the area we're working in. the most obvious symptom of this: a few times after i've said something, he's said 'aww' at me like i'm a cat or something. one of those times was when i was pretty pissed off and complaining to my current manager about the state of the project, so it was particularly annoying to be 'aww'ed at. he's also done it recently when i said i was cold and a couple of other times that i don't remember as specifically. i know this is a small thing, but i think it's part of him generally not taking me seriously. i'm not really sure why he does this... i'm 28, so not exactly a baby, but i've been told i look young for my age \(i've never had a baby face, though\). i dress like everyone else at the office \(jeans and shirts normally, nothing cutesy... if anything more masculine than average\), and i don't have a cutesy voice or anything \(i think??\), so i don't think it's something i can fix with my self\-presentation \(plus i honestly feel like i shouldn't have to\). how can i deal with this when he does it next? my instinct is to say 'please don't aww at me' very abruptly, but realistically that's not going to help our already awkward relationship, and i need to get on with him, really. is there a way i can jokily reply in a way that conveys that i find this patronising? i really don't think having a conversation about it will help, since i think having that conversation would itself reinforce his view as me as like a young, inexperienced little girl. it's making me really angry and i don't know how to deal with it. i mentioned my general issue with him not taking me seriously to my current manager and told him i need him to support my viewpoint and agree with me in front of the new guy where possible, but i don't think he really gets it and he hasn't really done that since he agreed to. tl;dr how can i tell my senior co\-worker to stop saying 'aww' after i say things in a way that won't just make me seem like a bitch? | how can i tell a co-worker to stop 'aww'ing at me without making things awkward? | 8cyvec | best way to be taken seriously as an adult is to act like one. next time he does it, be as calm as you can, straight forward, definitely not joking and summarize what you've said on here into a few sentences. "hey ____________. please don't do that any more. i find it patronizing and would appreciate if you'd stop it." that's all. short and sweet. no need to have a long conversation about it or explain yourself past that. in whatever language you're most comfortable in, so long as you can remain calm, not yell, but not joke, you'll neither come off as childish or "bitchy". from the sounds of it though, unless i'm completely misreading the situation as you describe it, it sounds more like that's his weird way of trying to flirt with you. possibly be careful of that. given that he's your supervisor that might create a worse problem down the road. | socialskills | 8cyvec |
"im sorry ma'am, even though you've been on 20 mg adderall xr for five years, we cant fill this until you call your doctor who needs to then call your insurance to give authorization again." *sigh* | no one understands the hell we go through just to get our prescription filled. | 8d5yug | i feel very lucky to have a good relationship with my specific pharmacy (big chain, think greenwalls lol). once they filled several days early because i was flying to another state that probably wouldn’t fill the script, just had to show them the ticket (about a year ago). this month i asked them to please fill it at 27 days because of finals/my schedule this semester has me at school/work from before they open until after they close. they’ve run out before and the greenwalls next to my university sometimes makes an exception and fills it for me—but typically they won’t because i live in a different zip code (i live 5 miles from school). i think it helps that i am a phd student, and the pharmacist must remember that delicious hell. on the other hand. when i had yet to find a doctor in florida after moving for graduate school, i couldn’t find anyone who would fill my script. i had never had an issue getting my script filled by a different state. and by that i mean that pharmacy after pharmacy told me they did not have the medication in stock. it wasn’t until i started crying in front of a pharmacist that he explained what was happening and why. i didn’t find another psychiatrist for 6 months. thankfully i found two pharmacies willing to fill it, but both called my doctor for verification every month and wouldn’t fill it a nano second before 30 days (more like 31). it was ducking awful. | adhd | 8d5yug |
okay, so my(f22) brother (m25) has been going through on and off psychosis for around 3 years. he was completely okay until he was half way through college, and he suddenly dropped out. he moved home, and then decided to live in his car. he chose to live in his car because he was saying that we were poisoning his food, and that he needed to have a "struggle" and that every great musician has a struggle (he wasn't even a musician). basically, he was delusional. this has been this way ever since then. he hasn't lived in his car again, but he rarely leaves the house. he is paranoid, and hyper-sensative to noise. there was a short period of time where i wasn't allowed to flush the toilet at night, or he would race upstairs and accuse me of yelling, or doing something completely unrelated to flushing the toilet. i love my brother with all of my heart. these years have been the longest and hardest years of my life. personally, i have felt lost, angry, and sad. i have felt that my hands have been tied. my parents haven't done much to try and get him help, and what they have done has all led to dead ends. they have been told that "if he isn't a danger to himself or others, there is nothing we can do". so reddit, i really need help, i can't do it any longer. i have to find help for my brother. watching him suffer this way is not an option anymore, and i wish i had done something a long time ago. i was young back then, and i feel that i can finally emotionally handle it, and i can financially support myself in-case my parents disown me for making the call. i live in washington state. if anyone can give me any advice on my options or have a similar story, i would very very very much appreciate it. | brother is going through psychosis, he is over 18, help? | 279dyk | go to 211.org. it's a national database for social service referrals. | needadvice | 279dyk |
hello! i’m on mobile so apologies for the formatting. i am making a youtube video discussing the use of photoshop and other photo editors in our daily lives. photoshop and other tools have become so common, nearly every photo you see has been edited in some way. i would love to hear your stories, opinions, and general thoughts on how these edits are affecting mental health. i will be using this information very informally, and if you would prefer your story not be shared (if i even add any personal stories), just tell me in the comment. i’d also appreciate it if you mention your general age range and the country you live in. mostly, i want to generate a discussion about photoshop and how it affects mental health, and be able to hear other people’s honest opinions to aid in forming my own. thank you in advance! | photoshop: is it a problem and how does it affect mental health? | a7edl1 | i think that south park does a really good job of parodying the issue to help folks understand (albeit in a very hyperbolic way) the issues that photoshop causes and the relationship between self-esteem and body image. is it a problem? i co-authored a research paper having to do with this back around 2006. is it even a question that has to be asked at this point? i'm 32, live in united states. | mentalhealth | a7edl1 |
hey all i was a two time deployer to iraq 07-09 and 10-11.i have been out since 2011. i had no symptoms at all during this time. about three months ago my gf and i were rear ended by a drunk driver and i snapped into army mode and called the cops and reported it. i remembered every detail to a t (the dude ran from the scene on foot). i went to the hospital and got checked out everything seemed fine. then things started getting worse as of now i haven't driven my car in four weeks because i have had two big panic attacks while driving and several moments of deprrsonalization. my therapist diagnosed me with ptsd and i'm wondering why now? why didn't this show up after my deployments? i have nightmares of iraq now and i am slowly coming out of my social isolation zone and hanging out more with my gf and such but i wake up feeling awful and having thoughts of why go on. i want to go to an inpatient va program in kansas for ptsd and i'm almost done with the application. | combat vet came home 5 years ago why now? | 55zdxi | this is just how it works. sometimes you live for years with only minor impacts and then something happens and the floodgates open. i have seen this pattern a few times. i am a psychologist and was trained at a va hospital. | ptsd | 55zdxi |
so i'm the black guy at the kkk rally, or so i tell my sponsor. if there's something called the catholic belt, shit man, i'm in it. i've had the best run of my life with 5 months and counting, i'm not looking back. i recognize that aa is important part of recovery. i've learned working a good program will keep me from relapsing. it works for me and realize it for what it is, free group therapy, fellowship, and having someone to turn to if you're in a bad spot. my sponsor is great (he has about 20 years), we've become good friends and have similar hobbies and activities. he's never met someone as a staunch atheist (almost anti-theist) as myself in the program. we're working the steps and are on 6 & 7. step 6 ... were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character. step 7 ... humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. i'm being honest with myself and sponsor and told him i have no idea how to complete these steps. they don't even make sense to me. is there a way to make sense of these from an atheist perspective? anecdotes? anything? he told me not to skip these steps and not to "rewrite a program that's worked for millions of people." i'm more frustrated than angry about it. he thinks i'm just "rebelling". i said not in the least. i've read and am huge fans of hitchens, harris, dawkins, etc. i read my 8 year old "the magic of reality" by dawkins at bedtime for crying out loud. technically, my higher power is a group of recovering drunks. cuz man, that shit was/is hard to stop and i applaud all efforts to everyone that's doing it. | atheist in aa, help with some steps. any other advice for someone like myself appreciated. | 1fq5pr | so i was giving this one some thought and i came up with this. 6.) am i entirely ready to have this program(the 12 steps) which is responsible for the recovery of this group of drunks, remove all these defects of character? 7.) humbly put forth the willingness to have this program move my shortcomings. the spiritual idea behind having god remove my defects, as far as i understand, is not that i say the 7th step prayer and voila they're gone to the wind. instead it's having the willingness to let go of my old ideas and actions, and they are continuously removed as i continue to work through the steps and maintain a higher standard of living. that's just me spitballing, but if you can work with something to that effect and find a way to make these steps work for you, then you should be able to continue the growth you've started in 1-5. | stopdrinking | 1fq5pr |
i'm in my mid twenties and i want to ask advice on how to manage my anger. i get angry from the most insignificant things, things which normal people shouldn't be upset about. i almost broke my notebook today because the dvd drive wasn't reading my cd. sometimes i'm thinking of cutting myself when i'm this angry only to feel releaved. episodes like this can easily ruin my day and it's very frustraiting. i'm also hurting the people around me, people that truly love me. if anyone has any piece of advice, please write a comment below. i don't want to live like this anymore. | i'm easily angered and it's ruining my life | u6hz6 | you should go to a therapist or psychiatrist who you can talk to about your symptoms, family history, etc, so you can get a solid response & the help you need. based on the little bit you've shared, it doesn't sound like info from reddit is gonna cut it. (i'm a therapist - find the right one & it can really make a big difference in your life). | selfhelp | u6hz6 |
very short relationship at this point, a few months. which is where my issue is coming from. out of the 10 weeks we've been together he has spent 6 of those weekends at his out of state second home. i'm a single parent so i don't have a lot of time during the week. i also live with my mother- i'm working towards buying a house. now, this relationship moved very quickly and unexpectedly. he has already told me he loves me. he says he wants to move in with me, not just buying a home but building one together. however, he is rarely around. if he has the choice between the lake house and me, he chooses the lake house. i was only invited to join him once because usually he's there with friends and family. i haven't met any friends or family. i've brought these issues up a few times and he constantly says we will work on it, but the next time i get a free night- he's not around. i can't compete with his recreational schedule, and nor do i want to. i'm feeling like this has all been an allusion and i need to end this asap before i get too emotionally invested. however i don't want to lose something good if i'm being too needy or desperate. so that's my question, is it normal to spend 3/4ths of your time away from your girlfriend, by choice, when your intention is to build a solid relationship? am i overreacting to this? | time to cut my losses, or keep trying? | 6lm8uc | too early in a rel. to be ignoring you. cut your losses. he's a jerk | relationship_advice | 6lm8uc |
it's a weird question but i often wonder about this when i go out with my friends. it's usually a good (international) mix of girls. two of us are black and my other friends are white and asian. we get approached and have fun with everyone, but we noticed that a lot of times the white guys don't really approach us (at least not at first) we end up talking of course, but it's like they have to talk to our white girlfriends first to make sure it' ok to talk to us. is it just me being paranoid or does this truly exist? | do white guys find it harder to approach black girls? | dmgh1 | this is a mixed bag. overall, i would say (as a black woman), white guys do seem pretty hesitant to approach black women--whether this is because they are not attracted or feel intimidated, i don't know (i would imagine it would be a mix of both). however, the ones that do approach are usually very confident and sure of themselves. they see a girl they like and they make a move. they understand that race is not the end all and be all for one's personality--a big part yes, but certainly not the sole determining factor. so, yes, while far fewer white men have approached me, the ones who did had better 'potential' than the guys in the general pool. i guess they thought that because i'm black, they couldn't f* around with me. but then, and i hate to say it, if you're hot enough it begins to matter less. while i would be considered attractive, my best friend is model-pretty (was on america's next top model) and she was approached by more white men than i was. still probably not to the level of her beauty, but more so than i because she has a gorgeous face and great boobs. and white guys really like boobs. i'm an a cup so i think that definitely put me at a disadvantage. luckily, my husband is an ass man. : ) | relationship_advice | dmgh1 |
hello, i have a friend who is 18 who has been on adderall for years. i don't know when he first started taking it, or why the doctor over prescribed it, but he admitted that the only reason he continues to take it is because it lessens his appetite and allows him to maintain his weight. i'm not sure what the exact dosage he takes is, but it seems like taking adderall for years in end with no plan to stop taking it could be very detrimental. | what are therisks of being on adderall for a prolonged period of time? | 64riz4 | id be inclined to agree with you. i would hope that there was a specific reason for its prescription, with regular reviews, to justify long-term use of a medication such as this. using simply as an appetite suppressant doesn't sound right, unless there is documented evidence of an eating disorder and prescribed by a relevant specialist. | askdocs | 64riz4 |
okay. title is kinda "hurrdurr, you know why." but, it's not something i normally experience in relationships. if anything, all of my emotional issues would normally drop when the person got upset. i would immediately stop feeling whatever hole i was drowning in and be able to comfort them. i mean, yeah, i've always had a tendancy to pull away mhysucslly or emotionally when i'm sad, angry, etc. but pulling away from a so because they're bothered? i don't know. i never really even notice it until he points out that almost as soon as he gets bothered or i realize he is sad, angry, etc (he has chronic depression and anxiety) i move away physically. sometimes emotionally as well. like my brain all of a sudden just doesn't want to. it's never happened in a relationship before and i don't understand it. i apologize if this sounds disorganized. i've basically been up for over twenty-four hours because insomnia is a bitch. if it is confusing, i will gladly rephrase. | why do i pull away? | 4i7j9h | check out lisa ferentz and her take on pulling away or disconnecting before you get hurt. the body's memory of being hurt or invalidated is enough to make you keep from making the same mistake again. fyi ferentz in 30 or so years of practice has never diagnosed anyone with bpd because she believes it's a description of behavior not of problem. | bpd | 4i7j9h |
i have this problem where i can't really make any new friends thanks to me, failing to hold conversation. i'm sick of relying other people to be very talkative and just responding with filler words. ive been stuck with the same friends for years. don't get me wrong i'm thankful to have them in the first place but i feel like i'm starting to grow apart from them. i feel so alone and its all my fault. thanks to me, struggling with meeting new people, keep eye contact, talk until you're comfortable with them etc. there are times where i just feel like i rather be alone than to talk to people. but why do i feel like this? i don't want to be by myself but sometimes i can't help but to only have myself as company. there are times i know the other person just doesn't want to talk to me because i bring up generic topics to talk about (how are you doing? any plans for today? what are you up to now?). but i don't know how to talk... i've been like this for years now. i don't want to stay alone because i end up overthinking everything and think the world hates me. why the fuck am i like this? i need help! | how the fuck do you hold conversation? | c6q9v1 | a couple thoughts (i skimmed through other comments, apologies if i’m repeating anyone) - the way you experience yourself and the way other people experience you are often very, very different. while you may feel the silences or the eye contact are awkward, your friends might not be thinking twice about it. while you think you’re no good at carrying a conversation, other people might not think this at all. sometimes we can get really fixated and anxious about a certain topic, and analyze it in minute detail in a way that other people just aren’t. if you have a friend who it feels comfortable to talk to about this kind of stuff, maybe you could just ask. read this post to him. tell him you’d like honest feedback. the absolute worst case scenario is that they say they’ve noticed some awkwardness but aren’t particularly bothered by it (because if it absolutely drove them nuts and was completely unbearable, they would have found a way to stop interacting with you by now.) - so maybe you learn you are a little awkward, or you’d still like to build some conversational skills regardless of what your friend says. this is totally fine! we’re all born and learn varying degrees of various skills, and need more assistance/coaching in some areas than others. it doesn’t help that our public schools provide basically zero education on relationships and healthy socialization past kindergarten. i mean, if it’s an area that you already have a bit of difficulty in, and it has been largely neglected by most every adult in your life growing up in favor of pure academics, well...it’s no wonder that tons of people struggle with with socialization/relationships in one way or another. in a lot of ways, it is a skill that needs to directly taught, not just picked up on through observation and inference growing up. that’s my opinion/mini-rant anyway. can you tell i have a passion for social/emotional education? 😂 it’s kind of my professional jam. anyway!! all of that said - if you’ve found that there’s a skill you struggle with or would like to improve in, study it! depending on your comfort level, this might mean at first just reading some books or maybe taking an online workshop on communication skills. while i don’t have suggestions off the top of my head, i guarantee you these exist and a quick google search will give you more results than you want. just be sure to research the quality of the product before you buy it, just like you would with anything else. read reviews and investigate the credentials and work/educational background of the author or workshop facilitator. this will help you to avoid the wacky, pseudoscience-y, or just generally crappy and unhelpful sources that are inevitable and prolific in the “self help” world. - if it doesn’t feel like too much of a stretch, it would be great to find someone to practice on/with. after all, the skill you’re trying to learn does directly involve other people, so independent learning will only take you so far (again, in my opinion. i don’t have definitive research i can quote, but i have been working in this field for 13 years so, i do kind of know what i’m talking about - usually 😂). so, this person could be a friend or family member who’s willing to help out, but you might be more comfortable for a variety of reasons if you find some type of “professional” to work with. no risk of judgment, you get their full attention, and they will have had at least some training in how to talk to people and can probably give better feedback. this could be a therapist, or someone like a life coach/mentor. just keep in mind that people who market themselves in the coach/mentor field do not have to have clinical training and don’t have to answer to an accrediting body. this might be totally fine with you as you don’t necessarily need the clinical side of things, but it’s something to keep in mind. they also aren’t going to identify or treat any potential mental health symptoms that could be impacting your social life. at most, they might refer you to a licensed therapist, but they generally have only basic mental health first aid training and only know to identify and refer for obvious mental health crisis type symptoms. eek my bias areis showing. ok, i think you’d get the most bang for your buck with a licensed therapist. truth. i’m a therapist, and i’ve totally done this type of work with people of all ages and all walks of life. a therapist can provide feedback and suggestions, model appropriate social skills, work with you to rehearse/practice for specific social situations that you might be extra anxious about, and if needed help you work on self-esteem/building more realistic and less anxiety-based or deprecating self-talk, and other anxiety symptoms if you have that going on (i’m in no way providing or suggesting a diagnosis here, so please no finger wagging or lectures, my fellow therapists. just giving an example!) 9 times out of 10, the folks who are diligent, consistent, and at least somewhat willing and open-minded will find that the work they do in therapy around this type of concrete skill building leads to a tangible, measurable improvement and overall comfort in using the skill (again no citation, just going off of my overall experience). - another suggestion, which could be done in conjunction with or instead of therapy: join some type of self-help, support, or social group, maybe one run by a facilitator and specific to building social skills, or maybe just a group for your demographic or interests (college student, married with children, poc, gamer, documentary buff, whatever you may be). this will give you a ready-made group of people to practice on (whether they know it or not!) who you already know have some similar interests or life experiences — aka, easy and obvious conversation topics! some people are especially comfortable practicing in groups where they don’t know anyone because it’s pretty low risk. if it’s too difficult, you can always leave, and you aren’t responsible for or beholden to anyone. wowzers, this got very long. please forgive me, op and others slogging through the comments. i am a therapist who is currently stuck at home on bedrest due to a complicated pregnancy, and i clearly miss my work, and have a lot of free time on my hands. 😂😂 good luck op! (edited for several typos that i would have lost sleep over) | suicidewatch | c6q9v1 |
i met this girl at a party and we got on pretty well, i have barely any experience in relationships but she said she wanted to meet up sometime, i'd had a bit to drink so was a bit more confident and said we would meet up. i get on with her but i've got exams at the moment and they're really important to get into university. also, i'm the year above her in school so i'll be off to uni in a few months and she wont be. as much as i get on with her, i don't really feel an attraction and she just came out of a long relationship so i think she might just be looking for a relationship with anyone... if i didn't have exams i might just give it a go but i feel like the timing is all wrong? should i just say what the hell and give it a go or focus on my exams? my gut instinct is to tell her the timing is wrong as this is how i feel, what should i do? tl;dr: met a girl, get on alright but i have exams and will be off to uni in a few months and she just ended a long relationship, do i date her or tell her the timing is wrong? | i [18/m] don't know whether to date someone [17/f] or focus on exams? | 25vhcv | call me old fashioned, but i thought the whole point of dating was to spend some time together to determine how compatible you might be. i get wanting to focus on your exams, but are they so intense that you can't take a couple hours away to grab a bite? sounds as though you're really not all that into her, but if there's any chance something might be there, i don't see why exams should keep you from finding out. | relationship_advice | 25vhcv |
so earlier in 2017, in early july i think, there was a new guy at work. i'm gay and had a little crush on him at first glance. he started to talk to me and invited me to hang out. he was 17 and i was 19. he was very immature, but i really liked him, despite his repulsive personality. i don't know why but i didn't care about it, there were other aspects i really liked about him, he's actually pretty similar to me. then he mentioned casually that he was bisexual. holy shit my mind went crazy. this was the first time i met a guy who i liked that i could actually date!! so i told him i was gay a few days later... and he was shocked lol then on my 20th birthday we hung out (he just had his 18th birthday recently btw), just the two of us... and the next day he asked if that was like a date. and then, what felt like a miracle we started dating. it started out great, we went on a few nice dates... but as time went on he became more and more neglectful... he just didn't want to go on dates ever, he said he was always too busy. he never did much in the relationship, i was the one always wanting to hang out with him. every 3 weeks of neglecting me he'd be a really nice boyfriend, and then go back to ignoring me... he actually sort of made fun of me a lot and was barely ever romantic. when i told him i felt like he never tried in the relationship he accused me of a bunch of awful things and questioned why i even loved him... but that was online, before when i told him he hugged me and said he was sorry... well i'll skip to then end, on december 1st... i told him i missed him and loved him because he had been busy for a week... and he dumped me... over text... he said it wasn't my fault... he said he wasn't ready for a relationship and that... he didn't feel the same for me as i did for him i cried all night until i drank and passed out then i was depressed for a week we are still friends... we plat games online together a lot... i see him at work all the time... every time i see him i feel a physical pain in my chest though and i hate it... it only happens at first then it stops the problem i have is... i cannot get him out of my mind... i'm in love with him... but i shouldn't be i think about him everyday all the time, and i'm not exaggerating i have been thinking about him everyday for the last 6 months. i still jump at the chance to be with him, i still think there's a chance for us to be together again i had a long shift with him today, and it was so painful...he kept talking to me and being nice and it hurt so much... whenever he calls me dude or man, or any other friendly term, it depresses me... he's hanging out with his friends right now and i'm really jealous of them i always want to hang out with him and only him and it's affecting my daily life... he said he's moving to different state nearby with his ex, who is a girl. maybe he loves her instead of me... when he told me the news i cried. he won't do it until next year around august.. i'm really jealous... i want to be the one to move in with him, not her... i don't know if there is anything that can help me or not... | i'm obsessed with someone and i can't stop thinking about them | 7mkbls | do you actually love him or do you love what you thought the two of you could be? you said that “finally you found someone you liked that you could date”... do you feel as though you don’t have any other options other than him? it sounds as though a lot of the relationship was unhealthy, and that you were hanging on because you thought it could one day, maybe, eventually be good? | mentalhealth | 7mkbls |
i've been on lexapro for 3 months now, gradually increasing my dose to 20mg, which i've been on for the past month. unfortunately, the drug hasn't improved my depression or anxiety symptoms so my psychiatrist wants to switch me to paxil. he instructed me to take 10mg lexapro + 10mg paxil for the first 2 weeks and by the third week, i will transition to 20mg paxil only. ​ this just concerned me because of the obvious interactions between two ssris. are they safe to take together? i assume it must be since these were my psychiatrist's orders. but is this the typical way to transition from one ssri to another, and will there be any serious side effects during the process? ​ thanks\~ | is it safe to take two ssris together? | a0q9c2 | it’s probably safe but more likely to be unpleasant to take full doses of both at the same time, and it’s safe but slightly more likely to feel bad if you take one at full dose one day and the other at full dose alone the next. this is the recommended way to do it, called a cross-taper. it reduces the chance of any withdrawal symptoms and lets you switch more gradually. | askdocs | a0q9c2 |
me and this guy are friends with benefits. we already slept together and we barely talk which is fine with me. he messaged me on snapchat the other night and i told him that i wanted to meet up again and he didn't respond. this is the second time that this is happening. i don't text him a lot because i don't have feelings for him honestly all i want to do is to have sex. he responds to a text message asking him how he's doing pretty quickly, but when i want to get together i get ignored. i'm confused. i am a female he is a male i am 23 he is 28 | should i just stop talking to him? | 5qqewn | not if you still want fwb. if that's all you want nothing else matters. | relationship_advice | 5qqewn |
jeez... i just spent 20 minutes typing something, then re-typed it, then deleted it for this because i felt like no one would really care... i tend to not even get my idea's out in order. so i'm just going to leave this here, and keep the rest to myself. help's me with not feeling anything ya know? | this subreddit and me... | 19awa4 | you are welcome here. whether your problems are "big" or "little", they are still yours, and since you are welcome here your problems are welcome here too. don't be afraid to share :) | socialskills | 19awa4 |
hello, i'm 26/f, 138lbs and recently had an mri done of my brain, cervical and thoracic spine after seeing my neurologist for tingling in my back and recurring headaches that last for days. i received the disc of the images and went to review them briefly before my appointment. i noticed a spot in my lungs on my thorax view that has me concerned, but i'm hoping i might get an opinion before i see my doctor again. i'd like to walk in prepared. i'm a current smoker of nearly 10 years and daily take dexedrine 60mg spaced and bupropion 150mg. anything helps. thanks! lung mri WEBLINK | trying to figure out what i'm looking at in a chest mri | 890qmb | i am not a radiologist, and i haven't spent a much time looking at mris recently. there's a lot of artifact there—that kind of zebra pattern around the edges—and the lungs themselves look smudgy rather than sharp all over. that might be a sequence i'm even less used to than most, or it might be a low-quality study for some reason. either way, nothing jumps out as abnormal to me, keeping in mind that thoracic mri is definitely not my area of expertise. but your doctor (or the radiologist) knows a lot more, and they have more than just one slice to look at. bring up your concerns, but i wouldn't worry too much about it beforehand. | askdocs | 890qmb |
i was fairly constipated 10-12 days ago and i started taking senokot.s tablets, now i feel as though i've overused them a little since my bowels have become too loose. is taking these pills for 10-12 days enough to create dependency on them? | (23m) i've been taking 2 senokot.s pills a day for the past 10-11 days, is this long enough to create dependency? | 8vyb9j | neither senna nor colace, the components of senokot-s, produce dependency as far as i know. if your bowels are too loose then yes, it's time to stop taking those pills. you can use them as needed but not regularly if you want. | askdocs | 8vyb9j |
tehehe omg why didn't i think of that sooner. i'll just go see a therapist and they'll give me the magic antidote to my perpetual cravings for death that have persisted for years. thanks mentally healthy individual. | i despise when mentally healthy people say "go see a therapist" | aqnayj | i mean, i’d play the devils advocate and say it depends on the situation honestly. like if you’re talking to friends or family about intense emotional problems/wanting to die/etc, they may say that because those topics aren’t things they know how to talk about. and yeah, seeing a therapist won’t cure you. but talking to a professional will most likely be more beneficial than talking to non-professionals about that sort of thing, just because at best people usually only know to listen and at worst they’ll shut you out because they can’t handle it. not saying it’s invalid to feel like when people say that it’s a wow thanks i’m cured now moment! just that i can see where people could be coming from i’m specific situations | suicidewatch | aqnayj |
i need help as to what to do. i feel very isolated right now since i have no real friends to talk to and my family would prefer i not talk to them about my relationship with my fiance cuz they do not like him. i am considering breaking up with him. we have been together for 2 years and i feel like i'm the one who has been pushing himself to do better in life. he's very insecure and i try to be supportive and kind but i feel like i'm being too nice and am a pushover. for instance, he wants a family: house, kids, marriage, the whole works. but there's no foundation. i've been begging him for a year now to get his ged which he has the ability and access to get, so he can get a better job than the fast food cook he has been bouncing back and forth in for a while now. he changes jobs like a girl with shoes and that makes me very scared. i wanted to finish college but he wants to start a family and promises me that i can still finish school, but i feel like i'm gonna be the breadwinner of the family since i stay at my jobs and pay bills when they are supposed to. i feel like i cannot trust him financially and with our future. also, i feel like he's controlling me in some way. we have broken up twice, each by him, every time i try to stand up for myself there is an argument and i end up crying frustrated and hurt cuz he used to say mean and hurtful things to me such as, "every other man would've left you but i stayed." which was during a situation when my mom got sick with lupus and became disabled and i wanted to be there for her. he wasted his money on weed and then asked me for money to help feed his nephews and niece (who were staying with him at the time). he says he payed me back all the money i have given hi and his own family by buying me bus tickets to go see him at his parents house in another state. he turns arguments around onto me, telling me that i'm wrong and i shouldn't feel that way. and as far as sex, there are times when i was so exhausted and he still wanted to have sex even when i didn't want to. he told me i wasn't attracted to him anymore and made me feel guilty so i ended up doing it. this has happened many times. he didn't consider my health, thinking my epipen serious dog allergy was no big deal until i actually showed him the doctors form stating how serious it was. many other thins have happened that if i wrote them all down it would become a book. about eight months ago, he broke up with me cuz i told him i felt like a sexual object to him instead of a human being and i wanted to stop doing certain things i was doing with him because i felt uncomfortable. he said i shouldn't feel uncomfortable cuz it was him and we were practically married anyways being engaged. anyhoo he broke up with me and we got back together a week later. i wanted to start over as friends, he wanted to continue where we left off. guess which way that went. he says he's changed and i have seen drastic changes with him. and he says i can talk to him now and he won't get angry. he still gets insanely jealous though, even to the point i couldn't shower in gym classes with other girls cuz he was afraid lesbians would hit on me. i had to explain every one of my guy friends to him, and he checks them out on my fb all the time. i feel afraid that if i do talk to him he'll be like before. he has made comments on how he can't live without me and he has told me about past suicide attempts he had and it scares me that if i do break up with him he'll kill himself. i don't know what to do. he wants a family, but i don't feel ready. i wanted to finish college and get things organized for a family like a good job for both of us, a good solid place to live, marriage, things like that. basically, stability. i want him to see the great things he can do if only he believed in himself more. i do love him and want to give him another chance, but i know i may sounds selfish for this, i want to think of my life too. i have put so much on hold for him: my education, my next to nothing social life, a better job, family, friends, my passion for music (my career choice) and even my health for him. i really do not know what to do. i feel lost and confused. i feel i may be acting like a selfish and horrible person. if anyone can help me i would appreciate it. thank you. edit: i am afraid if i break up with him he will try and kill himself. or even come to my place and try to "win me back". every time i try and stick up for myself he says that i've "changed" and that "i'm not the girl he used to know", for instance he wants me to send dirty photos and videos to him. i don't like having myself splashed out there for anyone to see if someone happens by his phone and plus it makes me feel cheap. i tried explaining that to him and he says that it's him and i shouldn't feel that way and i don't find him attractive sexually anymore and that it makes him feel insecure. when i try to tell him i'm not comfortable with it, he says i should cuz it is him and we are engaged and it's not a big deal. i end up apologizing after the argument and i feel empty inside cuz i did give in. he wants me to move in with him soon and honestly i don't want to. i feel like if i do, everything i have worked so hard for will be flushed down the drain and that one day he will hurt me or he will hurt himself cuz i will get so fed up with him and start a very heated argument or something. his father and mother are very violent with one another and so is the rest of his family and i feel like he will eventually turn into his dad (a very nasty man). if we have a child, we won't be ready for it, even though he wants a son very badly. i want real love, and i feel like he is not giving me the love i deserve. i honestly have no idea what to do. i feel like i'm at the fork in the road and need help. | i am [21/f] and fiance [24/m] break up or save the relationship? | 5odk73 | go to couple therapy. in 3 months you'll know what to do. | relationship_advice | 5odk73 |
i am a 21 yom in healthy shape and i am not able to see my pcp for a couple weeks and i just wanted to get an opinion as to what i may be experiencing. symptoms: two weeks ago i had about a 20 minute period of my heart beating out of my chest with palpitations occurring every 2-3 minutes, this happened at midnight, but my heart rate was 65 bpm. i was anxious during the entire episode as well which i think made it worse. i would have very occasional palpitations before and went to a cardiologist 2 years ago and he ran tests and assured me my heart was fine. this episode freaked me out though and for the next two weeks i have had one or two random palpitations where i need to catch my breath after. also have been having slight headaches regularly and would see stars out of nowhere. i woke up out of breath a couple days ago and have just not been feeling completely normal and just restless. during the day i have generally felt like i need to catch my breath even if i'm just sitting down. i also tend to overthink everything a lot and stress myself out and that makes these symptoms worse. when i am occupied or busy i tend not to notice symptoms. i am also on a low carb diet as of 4 months ago. no medications. i am a pharmacy student and have a big course load and in organizations which can cause me to be stressed regularly. i am hoping these symptoms are just anxiety related and there isn't another underlying cause. any input would be appreciated! | any ideas for my symptoms? | 72webx | not a doc, but went through similar. heart damage typically doesn’t pop up overnight so you should be ok. likely anxiety | askdocs | 72webx |
hi guys, i'm really hoping someone can help me in answering this question. fragile x syndrome is very prominent in my family. my fathers mother and aunt are both carriers of fragile x gene. my father is an only child and his mother was a carrier, my father was never affected by it could it still be passed on to me if i am to have children? i hope i have explained well enough, please ask me if there is something i have missed out. thanks in advance. | fragile x inheritance please help | 6qylwc | fragile x syndrome doesn't have the simplest of inheritance patterns, so i also think genetic counselling is appropriate (via seeing your gp). i had a quick look at your post history to check your gender and (apologies if im making assumptions) that you are a homosexual female married to another woman? if that's the case, what was your thoughts on how you would have children (eg wifes eggs with surrogate sperm, or something else)? | askdocs | 6qylwc |
to the foster parents who came within a month of adopting a biracial child, buying her a puppy, getting her into softball, and being her forever family, fuck you. when this young teen expressed herself as bisexual, apparently this involved a heated argument with a slap to her face. the email you sent out to the parties explaining that you could not agree with such a “choice” and that her brother would be better for her anyway, is such a cop out it makes me sick. you are excusing your bigotry and justifying your actions. you never held such beliefs about who could care for her prior to her sexual expression. her parent’s rights were terminated and/or relinquished. she’s been bounced around from home to home. even with an altercation, parties were willing to continue planning for her adoption with you because of what another rejection could do to this child. it disgusts me to even have considered working with you, despite the abuse, so as to not further emotionally destroy this child. the judge, the parties, caseworkers, community partners, and advocates are all disgusted with you. you may feel right in the eyes of your god, but know that you are wrong. one of the cardinal rules of foster care is to not force your beliefs onto a child. you couldn’t do that, you selfish pieces of shit. now that you booted this child from your home, after said parties were willing to still give it a chance, we all hope this will turn into the biggest blessing this child has ever experienced. in a year from now, i don’t know where this child will be. i hope she’s in a happy, accepting home. even if she’s not, she’ll have more love in her heart than you ever will. may your wickedness weigh down your souls until you breathe your last breath. | rejecting foster children | ef7ftf | just to point it out: would you rather they raise her and subject her to their beliefs when they feel that way? you can’t change what they think or feel but i consider it a blessing for this girl that she won’t have to be subjected to it permanently. if my foster family was vehemently opposed to my orientation i wouldn’t want to be adopted by them. just my 2 cents as a former foster kid | offmychest | ef7ftf |
34m, 6'1, 176lbs, caucasian, omeprazole 40mg daily (gerd), celecoxib 200mg daily (arthritis). one beer a night after dinner, never smoked, never done any drugs. an rn wrote the below article in 2018 regarding ppi use and hepatic system risks. i am bringing this up as i have been on ppi's for 15 years, take celecoxib daily, and have one beer a night; all things processed in the liver. so if there is any merit to this, i want to make some adjustments. below is my hypothesis after reading the article and checking the sources. i summarized it below if you don't want to read it. [WEBLINK](WEBLINK) the tldr is that the rn states that [drugs.com](WEBLINK) says that long-term use of omeprazole (ppi) can destroy the liver, impair the flow of the biliary system, cause scarring, irreversible liver failure, etc.. i have never heard that before, and more importantly, i reviewed the [drugs.com](WEBLINK) source and i do not see that anywhere. what i see is that in the post-marketing experience section, there are voluntary reports from anonymous people in an uncertain sample size, who claim they had these issues (among many other severe issues) as a result of omeprazole consumption. without knowing the sample size, or the reporting patient's histories, health states, concomitant medications or diseases, lifestyles, etc.. would you concur it is safe to conclude that this is a poorly written and misleading article? for example, the report for liver failure from omeprazole could be one person who took it with severe cirrhosis. we don't know, because it's anonymous. | long term ppi use and hepatic failure | e9bzwd | that is a poorly written and misleading article. even that section doesn’t hold together. long-term use of ppis has been linked to a number of problems, but with low-quality evidence, and i haven’t heard of liver disease as one of those problems. it looms like the article makes the unjustified leap from prilosec being hepatically metabolized to being hepatotoxic. the two are unrelated. | askdocs | e9bzwd |
i was diagnosed with depression 3 years ago. i was on nuzak and seroquel (or something like that) for about 1.5 years until i went off it. after that i still had my lows (quite low at times). i was still struggling but somehow i managed. a couple of months ago i started taking triphasil and they told me i must discontinue use if signs of depression occur. i didn't really pay too much attention to it since i basically live with symptoms of depression every day. i didn't believe a little pill could have such a big effect. i've dealt with a lot before and didn't think it could possibly get any worse that what i've managed to deal with before. recently i had a major trigger and i feel like i'm pretty much at my previous lowest point. i was very close to ending my life today but was motivated by some kind people to try make it better. i'm going to make an appointment at my psychiatrist and i'll hopefully see her in 2 weeks. (i'm writing tests at the moment). right now i still have some nuzak that i didn't take last time. my boyfriend got me some niacin which i've read helps for depression as well. yesterday i switched over from triphasil to trigestrel. so my question, what should i do with what i have right now? - should i stop oral birth control all together or can i continue with trigestrel? - can i start taking the nuzak so long? - if i take the nuzak is it safe to take the niacin? any advice would be much appreciated. --------------- tl:dr: : -currently on trigestrel. -seeing psychiatrist in 2 weeks for depresssion. -sill have some nukaz left from about 1.5 years ago. -bought niacin. -currently very depressed. -question: what can i do with what i have to start helping myself right now? | questions about antidepressants (nuzak), niacin and birth control (trigestrel/triphasil). | 4yvzqo | apart from fluoxetine and quetiapine, have you been on anything else for depression? | askdocs | 4yvzqo |