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not much to say. recovery hasn't given me riches or (too many) women. but i'm not a slave to the bottle or pill or public opinion today. thanks to god, the fellowship of aa, my sponsor, the steps, the traditions, my network and, oh yeah, you guys! | 1 year today. new freedom. new happiness. | 1o78ff | octsober is a hell of a month to get sober. congratulations, the promises continue to show in my life today and they appear to show in yours as well. keep at it. | stopdrinking | 1o78ff |
i thought i'd give aa another chance tonight, and found my first beginners meeting. it was a half hour drive, but hell i'll drive as far as it takes if it keeps me sober. i get out there on time for a 7:30pm start, eat some healthy dinner beforehand, and am feeling a bit emotional as i headed in. i cried a bit out the front without anyone seeing me, but managed to wipe the tears back and brace myself to go inside. i stepped in at 7:25, and it was unlike any other aa meeting i've seen. it looks very new-age, you know like a meditation studio with hippy art hanging up. i noticed most of the participants were female, several of them were noticeably pregnant, and some of them had male companions. i thought ok that's just the demographic here - mid-30s couples, chick gets pregnant, time for the whole family to sober up. this might be alright. some people talk to me, i nervously tell one woman i am on day three and just trying to stay sober today. she gives me the strangest look. then the instructor at the front starts speaking "tonight we're going to work on your sleepiness". what? i pull out my phone and double check the aa calendar. turns out i am off by a day - aa is this time tomorrow. shit. i slipped out without saying another word. it took me 15 minutes of frantic googling to find out it was in fact pre-natal yoga. hah! | oops, wrong meeting! | 78na9r | still, you found a room of people trying to stay sober and healthy!! | stopdrinking | 78na9r |
i have plenty of acquaintances from class but the only people i ever really hang out with are my roommates, at home. i'll be invited to hang out sometimes but always feel like i'd rather just stay at home. this leads to not getting invited anymore. admittedly some of this stems from school being very stressful lately so when i'm not working or doing school related work i just want to relax but it seems like i should want to hang out with my "friends" more than i do. am i alone? anyone else have to deal with this before? | i think i've forgotten how to have friends | s3nzv | when's the last time you've accepted one of those invitations? it might be that when you finally wind up going, you will enjoy yourself more than you think. however, if you're naturally an introvert, there's going to be a point where you really do need a break from social interaction. when that happens, it's fine to limit the amount of social interaction that you do. but you should usually push yourself at least a little bit, because you need some friends, and you're unlikely to find them staying in your room all week. a good rule of thumb is to do one social activity out of the house per week. one activity per week is pretty easy to fit into your schedule, and probably won't overload you socially. but it gives you a chance every week to meet someone new, and it keeps you from getting rusty socially or from getting the reputation of never accepting invitations. so in the short term, i think you should accept the next invite that comes along, even if the event is not a perfect fit for you--the goal is less to have an amazing time and more to get used to being social again. and then in the future, make it a goal to do at least one social thing out of the house per week. i think you'll find very good things happen as a result :) | socialskills | s3nzv |
tl;dr: therapist says no meds, psych says stay on meds. not sure which. 3 years on lamictal (150mg 2x/day) for bi polar disorder. my therapist just encouraged me to start the process of start coming off of it, stating that there's no real science backing up chemical imbalance in the brain in relation to manic depression. my psychiatrist just says, "if it's not broke, don't fix it." of course meaning, that since i haven't had any manic depressive episodes in the last 3 years, why would i stop taking it? my instinct is to keep taking it as a manic episode seems terrifying to me at this point in my life. thoughts? background is 3 psych wards for suicidal ideation and 2 attempts over a period of 10 years and countless manic episodes peppered in between. 4 arrests (no felonies). co-occurring alcoholism and drug addiction. 3 years sober now, i'm a substance abuse counselor for homeless families, and am engaged to another sober individual. i meditate, pray, work a 12 step program and absolutely love my work and my family now. (this whole situation reminds me of that curb your enthusiasm episode where larry is conflicted between the doctor and the pharmacist.) | therapist vs psychiatrist medication debate | eshufa | therapist here who works with bipolar disorder quite a bit. recommending you taper off the medication is grossly out-of-scope for the therapist to suggest, especially without any kind of consult with your psychiatrist. that should be a 3-way conversation going on at the same time with you included, not each one speaking with you individually about it. we are not doctors and have no official medical training with our degrees/licenses alone. the primary standard of care treatment for bipolar disorder (especially with a history of manic episodes) is medication first and foremost. there is evidence that chemical pathways are different in clients who meet criteria for bipolar disorder. there is also a genetic factor that plays a role. with a substance use history (often co-morbid with bipolar 1) the chance of relapse increases either due to self-medicating from onset of a depressive episode or lack of impulse control from a manic episode. if you don't want to taper off your medication, then follow your gut. anytime you want to make any changes to your med regiment, speak to your psychiatrist. they have the actual training to make those changes and suggestions. | mentalhealth | eshufa |
this is kinda long. sorry in advance. more of a rant, i guess. we’ve been married for 10 inglorious years. about 4 years in i began keeping a log of the really horrible events that would happen. that’s not to say that there weren’t other run of the mill shitty days, because he’s just a mean and nasty drunk. well, the other day i went to add to the log because i finally actually said the words out loud to my dad. “i love him, but i’m not in love with him anymore”. i broke down. i guess that means i’m done. this man does nothing but mentally abuse me and make me feel like shit. he hasn’t kissed me properly since we started dating 10 fucking years ago because “we aren’t compatible kissers” yet has shown no interest in trying to remedy this. i even tried when we first started dating to see if we could work on it. he’s not interested in kissing me. i need more. i need love and compassion. i need to be kissed and held. i need someone who isn’t a narcissistic alcoholic who hates my children and acts as if he regrets marrying me. he’s miserable when he’s sober but he’s not as mean, as if that’s any consolation. i looked back at the log and most of the dates are special events. several of my birthdays, mother’s day, almost every new year’s, my daughter’s 8th birthday dinner. last night he ended our phone conversation (he was hammered) by replying to my “i love you” by saying “well, i don’t know if i love you anymore” then hung up one me. we hadn’t even been fighting. and then this morning i get all the normal “good morning, baby” texts like nothing ever happened. (he’s traveling for work) i can’t tolerate it anymore. he’s an intolerable drunk. he’s nasty and mean and even when he’s not he’s just annoying with his circular conversation and the stories i’ve heard over and over for the past 10 fucking years. he’s so filled with hate and anger he has no room to love and appreciate me or the family right in front of his face. i’ve been nothing but a perfect obedient little wife to him while he has slowly taken away every shred of my autonomy, independence and self respect to keep me completely dependent upon him. i gave up my career to be a stay at home mother and when the kids were all back in school he somehow forced me to quit each job i’ve managed to hold since. i only recently made friends at my last job and went out for the first time in 9 years. how could i be so fucking naive and just plain stupid? i have a college degree and had a career when we met, but i’ve been out of my particular field for too long to go back now. i’ve got to get away from him. but how? edit: i go to meetings weekly as i’ve been trying to keep my sanity (mine is tomorrow). i don’t engage as much as possible but i just can’t find my way anymore. the stress and anxiety is making me physically ill. i know i’m powerless and i know he’ll never change. | after 10 years i think i’ve finally reached my breaking point. i think i want a divorce. | diycl9 | ugh the running log of things he's done...i am still compiling mine. | alanon | diycl9 |
my boyfriend was doing a lot of texting recently which is unusual for him. he was acting weird being really attached to his phone, freaking out when i would even touch it to move it. i asked him what was going on, if he was hiding something and he insisted he wasn't. we got in to a little argument because of his actions but i let it go because he insisted he wasn't. then next day he tells me he is texting an ex. i asked him why he hid it from me. he told me it wasnt my business who he texted, and he shouldn't have to ask my permission. he said he was was just telling her about me and she was talking about her kids, and i believe him. but am i wrong for at least expecting him to tell me that he is texting someone he used to date? i didnt feel i was being unreasonable but he says i am. | my (26f) bf (29) has been texting an ex and told me it was none of my business. | 6rkrtp | that is ludicrous!!! it's totally your business and why the heck is he doing that anyway??? | relationship_advice | 6rkrtp |
okay, so not really a medical question... but can a general practitioner refuse to remove nexplanon based a account payment status? in the usa. i don't have medically necessary reasons for having it removed.... i just don't want it anymore however i'm pretty sure my account with my dr is in collections and i have no way to pay it. | removing nexplanon? | 8yr8kw | you are asking a professional to provide services without payment. yes, he can say no. the exception is emergency and life-saving treatment , which this is not. | askdocs | 8yr8kw |
whether referred to as god or a higher power, wouldn't the fundamental concepts of powerlessness and turning oneself over, define a process of faith healing? | what is the difference between aa and faith healing? | 1gjm5p | i don't see why not. based on the definition, "healing through spiritual means". of course there isn't anything wrong with that is there? i glanced at some google results and most of them pointed to religion which of course is not within the aa program, but based on the definition above i'd definitely consider it faith healing. of course the program of aa isn't healing as much as a reprieve, meaning it requires constant maintenance. whether you refer to faith healing, aa, or anything else for that matter, if it work who cares what it's called or what connotation the name carries. | stopdrinking | 1gjm5p |
i've been taking wellbutrin for about 5 weeks now (~2 of those overlapped with effexor, which i was transitioning from), and i'm really concerned about what i've become. my anxiety got a lot worse, i never feel calm, my blood pressure has increased (nothing dangerous though), i get angered and irritated extremely easily, i've almost completely stopped talking to my family, and whatever motivation i previously had to do any kind of work has almost disappeared. doc told me that things should improve in about 4-6 weeks from start, but the only change i've been noticing up to this point has been negative. i will be talking to my doc about this soon, so no need to tell me to do that. i'm mostly posting this to find out: has anyone's experience on wellbutrin been similar to mine? what did you end up doing? edit: grammar | wellbutrin making anxiety a lot worse. anyone else have similar experiences? | 4wlyqt | my psychiatrist told me that wellbutrin can worsen anxiety since it is activating/energizing. i used xanax as needed for my anxiety, but my anxiety is a lot lower than many people's and is largely a result of my depression (so, if the depression is managed the anxiety is managed). she told me that if the anxiety remained we could try an ssri like zoloft to add to the wellbutrin which would help manage the anxiety while keeping the positive aspects of the wellbutrin. i did find that the side effects from wellbutrin were bad for a month or two, so you might try seeing where you're at after about 2 months on wellbutrin so you tweak your rxs (whether getting off wellbutrin or adding something else) after the effects of the wellbutrin have stabilized. | anxiety | 4wlyqt |
hey reddit i've been with my boyfriend for 10 years, we met in school, subsequently went to different universities and had a 4 year ldr in this time and now have been living together the last 3 years. our relationship is at a really great point right now. we love eachother, we respect eachother, we are eachother's biggest cheerleaders to have fun and do well! we enjoy doing things together as well as being respectful and happy for eachother to do our own things with friends. we can be extremely silly with eachother or have super deep meaningful chats. he has been nothing but supportive and understanding when i finally realised i struggle with anxiety and depression and encourages me to talk and do whatever it takes to help myself. we share alot of the same values and i honestly see myself sharing a future with this man, i don't feel anywhere near ready to commit to marriage but i think that's fair, i'm only 24 and just because we have shared many years together doesn't mean that marriage should necessarily be the next thing for us (we are interested in travelling and working on ourselves and our careers right now). the reason i'm here is that our relationship hasn't always been perfect, when i reflect back to earlier days i actually think in a lot of ways our relationship wasn't the healthiest. he was quite untrusting of me when our relationship became an ldr from when i was about 18-20 in particular (mostly if i was going on a night out), he could sometimes be a bit controlling in the sense that he didn't like me to talk to certain boys (this was more so when we were at school ages 15-17) and he was sometimes a little jealous as i finished college before him and was under less financial pressure than him. he sometimes acted in ways that i would not tolerate if he acted that way now. now i just want to add i wasn't entirely innocent either, i lied about a few things regarding boys hitting on me and when we did start to go out i did continue to text a few boys who were quite clearly trying to get with me. i never cheated but still understand my behavior wasn't fair. i obviously realise now how i acted was totally wrong and could understandably affect his trust in me i just wanted to provide this information for context. none of this behavior overly bothered me at the time as i always felt we would get past it and other external factors were adding to our stresses like exams, getting in to college, his parents money problems and my parents marriage issues were not easy to live with. ultimately we always had so much fun together, we shared a lot of mutual interests and friends, we kept eachother focused in school and studied alot together. when i got accepted into my dream college course which was in a different country he was so supportive and pushed me to go that we could try long distance and i could always lean on him for support, which i have. fast forward to now, he completely trusts me and i trust him. i can't remember the last time i felt he was acting any way jealous nor does he display any controlling behavior, infact its been years since i last seen him act like that and definitely before our relationship stopped being an ldr and we moved in together. i honestly feel we learned alot together, grew together and have already talked openly about how much we both feel we've changed over the years, how we feel we are very different from how we felt at the time when we were acting unhealthily towards eachother. thankfully our communication has improved immensely (i credit this to having to be in an ldr). i think when i reflect back now i'm a little embarrassed either of us tolerated how we treated eachother in our earlier days and i'm finding it hard to accept we had a phase like this at all, it feels so alien compared to where we are at now, and i think i'm here for some support or if anyone else has experienced something similar. sometimes i feel like my anxiety can make me focus on overly negative things. we're technically not together 10 years until next month so i think with this anniversary coming up it has me reflecting on things haha tl:dr been in a 10 year relationship with a boy from highschool, we're in a great place now, however we used to not treat eachother the best in our earlier days and find it really embarrassing to think back to that time, anyone else able to relate to this? | looking for some friendly support or someone who can relate to my [24f] 10 year relationship with my [25m] boyfriend. | e7l4ox | embarrassment is a normal, human reaction to mistakes we made in the past. that emotion you feel about it has a purpose.. the purpose is to remind you of how far you've come, the lessons you've learned. how lucky you are to be in such a good relationship now! take the time to be thankful and express your joy that you have something so good going on in your life. use that feeling to remind you of the good things. don't dwell so much on the bad. only use the past to build up what's happening in the present. just because you have a strong emotional reaction to it doesn't mean there's a problem *right now.* all you need is a bit of time for the icky feeling to pass. take a deep breath, and just wait. sit with the feeling until it goes away, understand that it is normal and temporary, and allow it to pass. if the feeling is truly unbearable, meditate, do some breathing exercises, or do another mindful activity while it takes its course. but otherwise i don't see much need to take any other action on it. | relationship_advice | e7l4ox |
we were talking during individual session. i can't remember what exactly preceded this comment but i'll take a guess. i've been struggling lately. definitely seen better days when it comes to my mental health. i think i asked him if i was always going to struggle and have issues and he said that there will always be a part of me that is damaged. that hurt so i told him and then he said that maybe 'hurt' is a better word. i'm thinking of bringing it up again. yes, i've been through quite a bit of trauma. things i will never forget whatever i do. however, does that make me damaged? anyone had their therapist say that/something similar to them ? | my therapist said that i will always be damaged | 6b9skn | just a question, did you describe yourself as damaged prior to this? | bpd | 6b9skn |
before/after: WEBLINK **left: month 0** **middle: month 2** **right: month 7 (with fiancée)** thank you to every single person in this sub that helped give me the strength to stop drinking and turn my life around. i'm now 7 months sober and recently engaged! link to original post: WEBLINK | before/after - 7 months sober | 6hhr2x | huge progress man. congrats on stepping into sobriety. please stay in touch and keep it up. | stopdrinking | 6hhr2x |
i'm spiraling. i also have bipolar ii, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. i didn't go to group today and have only talked to my case manager, the dominos delivery guy, and my mom (who celebrated her 50th with my family). i don't want to go to sleep because tomorrow "has no point." clearly i am depressed, but it doesn't seem to matter. everyone i have reached out to has let me down today. i feel so alone. i wish i had someone to love. i wish i could trust someone. i wish someone loved me and would care. i hate that no one will believe me. i hate that i'm never going to feel accepted. this is a miserable life. i'm too poor to do anything. i have about a week left of finances before i start being unable to buy food. i just can't anymore. this is such shit. i didn't ask for this. and no one else is trying to help. what's the point of caring when they don't? i don't expect anyone to help. i just wanted to post this so new users might see that even when we try hard, we fail. at least i do. "in my experience, i am a failure." happy? of course not. we never will be. | i hate who i am and nothing is helping | 57kvsy | happy is an emotion that will come and go. don't strive to be happy, strive to have structure and stability. things will get better, they always do. you must challenge negative thoughts, and do not allow any negative self talk! correct each sentence, write it out in a more positive frame reflecting the true fear or worry behind them. i. e., "nobody will ever accept me " becomes "i feel lonely in this moment" | bpd | 57kvsy |
my sleeping has been way off over the past month. i usually go through phases with insomnia; it comes and goes as it pleases and gets worse with stress/anxiety. anybody got any tips to cope? thanks. | tips for insomnia? | 548p7r | there is a free app the us navy uses called cbt-i app. it helps you log your sleep, gives you tips to help fall asleep and lower symptoms. melatonin tablets help people with insomnia fall asleep. also if you'd like to just drink it, try a neurosleep drink. they have 5-htp and melatonin in it. best of luck! | mentalhealth | 548p7r |
i have a lot of anxiety so it's hard for me to tell whether i'm thinking straight or if i'm exaggerating my symptoms. i'm 20 years old and i've had acne for a long time, i only seem to gain weight in my stomach (but i've never been overweight), i sometimes get pelvic pain. however my periods are very regular, i've never had any problems with gaining or losing weight, haven't experienced any hair thinning or excess of hair anywhere unusual (except a little bit of darker hair underneath my belly button). i realize no one can diagnose me here of course and i got blood tests done yesterday but i won't get the results for a few days and i'd like hear what anyone else thinks or if they can relate. | can you be diagnosed with pcos without having severe symptoms? which are most indicative/common of pcos? | 3y7og5 | you don't have to be "textbook" pcos to have pcos. irregular periods or evidence of androgen excess are criteria for diagnosis. for what it's worth, i don't think that somebody looking at me if i passed them on the street would think that i have pcos. i was diagnosed primarily based on my irregular periods. | pcos | 3y7og5 |
hi. i don't really want to get too much into my mental health but to cut a long story short, i have severe anexiety and ptsd which my doctor thinks is associated to a bipolar disorder. i have a very active mind, it gets tiring at days and i have been getting into the habit of meditating at night to help ease my mind and sleep. it has been very helpful for me and i always notice the difference. i have tried a couple of apps that have soothing soundtracks and/or guided meditations but they always require subscriptions to unlock more content which i can't do because i don't have any online payment methods in my country. i would really appreciate it if someone suggested the best app that would help me out. thank you very much and i wish you a very happy day/night wherever you are. | looking for a free app for meditation. | e66bw2 | headspace is a wonderful app. 10 free sessions. i typically just cycle back to session 1 once i do all 10. great psychosducation about mindfulness and you can decide the duration. | mentalhealth | e66bw2 |
days 3, 4 and 5 seem to be the days i drink. i think that's when the "voice in my head" - i call her al - starts to panic. al starts playing all kinds of head games with me. so yeah. i haven't reached day 4 in, like, a month. yesterday, i commented to promise myself i'd see day 4. so now, i'm promising myself i'll reach day 5. al's probably going to start playing all kinds of tricks, though. maybe some yoga and a good run will shut her up. not today, al. | over the past month, i've hit a snag whenever i reach day 3. this is the morning of day 4. i'm just here to check in. | aavwh6 | keep untangling the trap and trust that you’ll break free one day. my current streak is 250 times longer than my 2nd longest streak. | stopdrinking | aavwh6 |
i have been going to a therapist weekly for almost 3 months now and i haven't really noticed improvement like i have hoped for. i'm 16 and i'm wondering what options there are for group therapy with others my age, i talked to my current therapist about this and she suggest a iop (intensive outpatient program) through a local psychiatric hospital. i went in for the first evaluation and it felt all way to hospital-y if you kinda get what i'm saying. it didn't feel like what i was expecting in the interview but i am going to one of the meetings on thursday to try it out. my question basically is: is there such thing as group therapy like what you see in the movies. for example the fault in our stars had the group therapy scenes where they sit in a circle of chairs and talk about how they felt and what not. is iop exactly that or should i look for something else? i guess on thursday i will find out what it's like and i'll come back here and give an update. thanks update - turns out the iop session isn't covered by mom's insurance so i'm going to be talking with my therapist/psychiatrist about other options that would still be a group environment for me. | question about therapy [us] | 7u7pxg | yes there is. your therapist could have referrals or the clinic you see her at might have groups. but also it’s usually not the only thing because there’s certain things you wouldn’t be comfortable sharing in a group. my personal opinion is that you should talk about your feelings with your therapist if they are good they’ll actively try to work with you and make changes. it is also possible that it may not be a good fit. getting started in therapy is so hard but also know that biggest predictor of success is your relationship with the person. i also think you should talk about what you want to change and how you’d know if it were changing. that will give you more concrete goals to work forward. | mentalhealth | 7u7pxg |
(warning may be a long post) hey all its been 2 months since i(27m) split with my ex(26f) of 5 years. at the end of the relationship i found myself in a spot where despite how much i loved her, i couldn't keep her happy while being myself around her. the months leading up to the break up broke me down as i looked for other ways of making things work. she was my best friend and by ending the relationship i lost easily the most important and most impactful person in my life. with that being said now i can't help but feel okay. obviously i miss her and i still hurt knowing i hurt her by breaking up. but the thing is generally my life feels like everything is okay. i feel better than the months leading to the breakup. now it's confusing for me to feel that way because when i look back at my relationship with her i see she is amazing in every way. she brought me out of a dark point in my life and was nothing but supportive to me. she made me feel genuinely happy when i was with her. and now that we aren't together and she's written me out of her life i should be in pain no? i should be crying my eyes out for the woman i loved more than my own life right? yet i feel fine. struggling most of my life with self loathing and severe depression it feels wrong and unwarranted to feel as alright as i feel. especially knowing shes not coping with it nearly as well. tldr: 2 months out of 5 year relationship that made me the happiest i ever was yet i feel okay. is feeling this way wrong? | is it wrong of me to feel okay? | bfmll0 | this will sound real hippie, but whatever you’re feeling is valid and ok. i get what you’re saying though, and with a 5 year relationship most would be distraught. the things is that maybe you were emotionally checking out before the actual break up? i know you said that you were really trying to figure out how to make it work and make her happy, but perhaps because you had that inkling that it could be coming to an end, you started to process the break up before it even happened? also, it sounds like the relationship was stressful or at least at times was stressful, so when we have a stress taken off of us, we can feel better in a way. also, right now you could be experiencing the relief of not having the stress on you, maybe down the line the initial relief may begin to lose its novelty as you start to process the break up? it sounds like she’s going through grief and perhaps you will too. grief isn’t only for when a loved one does but when a relationship ends as well. if you do experience grief remember that it’s not linear and you can feel relieved one minute and the next minute trying to find a way to get back together. it’s ok though. like i said, your feelings are valid, whether it’s happiness or sadness. | relationship_advice | bfmll0 |
ok, so i'm very young (16 m) and i'm told that bisexual people are more likely to experience mental health issues than their gay or straight counterparts, so i might as well come out and say that i am bisexual. there is a tl;dr at the end. recently i've been experiencing a lot of what seems to be deja vu. i would say at least once a day if not more and it has been troubling me because i sometimes find it difficult to determine whether or not something has happened before, particularly trivial things. similar to this, i am often finding that memories from dreams are becoming interlaced with real memories, which is preventing me from identifying whether fairly trivial memories such as interacting with people are real or not. lastly the hallucinations. i have thankfully only experienced mild visual hallucinations which generally consist of 'seeing' unknown people who i often find scary where things like tree trunks and posts are. what happens is that i look at those things and for brief moments, i see the figures before they melt back into whatever they really are. i have also experienced mild blurring of my vision, although i don't know whether this is an issue for my optician or not. **tl;dr i am experiencing frequent deja vu, mild memory problems concerning trivial matters and momentary visual hallucinations. should i be concerned?** | deja vu, hallucinations and memory problems | 4y8aie | anxiety. and pareidolic illusions. but definitely anxiety. tl;dr: normal/sane. | mentalhealth | 4y8aie |
can anyone please help me with this? i feel like i might actually have a chance with this girl but i dont know how to text her. when i see her in person things are way better but i only see her when she is at work. should i ask her out ? ps. i just turned 18 and i never had a girlfriend before edit: i dont know it it fits here or if it needs to go somewhere else | i can talk with everyone fine but when its a crush i dont have the balls to say anything. especially in text messages | 2ht526 | what's the absolute worst that could possibly happen by responding to her. ask her some questions, share about yourself. ask her out for coffee or something similarly easy. if she's interested it will be reflected in her responses (or lack thereof). don't over think it. chat with her for a little bit, and then say, "i was wondering if you would like to grab coffee tomorrow" it's preferable to do this after a in person conversation. and if it doesn't work, you will probably learn something. if you do have a date and it went well, let her know that you had a good time and want to see her again. text more and schedule another date. if it doesn't work, blame it on not having good chemistry together or that she just isn't that interested. and that's ok. you tried and it will be easier next time. | socialskills | 2ht526 |
i'm currently on haldol and parkizol and lexomil(bromazepam)after being on valium for 2 months and before that i think clonazepam ( or also valium not sure ) for 19 days, my doc just changed from valium to lexomil and i've been on it for the last 2 days, how can i taper off from this 6mg bromazepam dose in order to take it off? | [19m] i wanna know how can i taper off my benzos without so much trouble | e5zzaw | you should discuss that with your doctor. | askdocs | e5zzaw |
i’m sorry in advance; i’m not the best at explaining situations very well. for as long as i can remember i’ve been a more introverted person with a blank mind. i used to be the kind of person that when i got comfortable around someone i became extroverted. i relied on this social technique when hanging out with new people, at kickbacks usually (parties were too much for me). shortly after beginning college my freshman year, i got into a relationship which eventually turned toxic. with that being said, fast forward 2 1/2 years and we broke things off halfway through the year, and i was forced out of my shell, not knowing many others outside my small friend group. my ex enjoyed smoking marijuana and i joined from time to time and then opted for working out to to get a natural high and it worked! i’m pretty sure it was the combination of working out and the removal of negativity from my life that led me to be more extroverted. i work at a grocery store, and i found myself being super outgoing and having conversations with everyone. i had a natural high everyday, and i truly enjoyed meeting and talking with people everywhere i went. this lasted for about 3 months. during this time i had little to no contact with my ex. the past couple months, however, i have gotten back into contact with my ex (we both work at the same place). there were times where we worked together or we would run into each other changing shifts and i had no anxiety whatsoever and was still more extroverted. since moving back home for the summer in may (away from work and my ex), i found myself becoming more introverted and socially awkward. i have a hard time holding conversations with anyone and everyone, even my mom. my mind has always been more blank, but i was able to think clearly when i felt that high. now, i find myself making excuses to not go anywhere, and have super bad social anxiety and awkwardness and i want to fix this before i go into my 4th year at college. tl:dr somewhat introverted person switched to extrovert after getting a natural high from starting to work out and removing toxic people. after moving towns, switched back to being an extreme introvert and my mind is almost always blank, more than it used to be. i have no desire really to socialize. is being an extrovert something that i can switch on and off? or was it simply due to getting out of a toxic relationship? and do you think i can go back to being that "high-on-life" extroverted person without cutting that person out of my life? | can an extreme introverted person go back to being extroverted? | 8xmywy | the answer is a flat no. now hear me out on this one. this is only because you seem to be confusing introversion with social anxiety, avoidance, and social awkwardness. introverts can be extremely social people and the continuum between extroverts and introverts has nothing to do with your "ability" to socialize. the key difference is essentially in how you recharge your batteries and how you socialize. after a really stressful rough week at work, extroverts prefer and often need to be around a lot of other people in order to feel better and relaxed. introverts actually need and want to have more quiet time and alone time. it's not a matter of wanting to socialize but being too anxious to. introverts also prefer small intimate groups or 1 on 1 conversations/activities and are incredible at socializing in this way. although we label people as such, very few if any people are pure extroverts or introverts, but exist somewhere on the continuum. where you are on this continuum may shift slightly throughout the course of your life but never really makes a large swing. from the sound of it, it seems like you are more extroverted but struggle with social anxiety and maybe some depression that is making it hard to socialize. if you work on these issues, you'll be able to socialize more and get your naturally extroverted needs met. | socialskills | 8xmywy |
this has been bugging me for a long time, and i just wanted to express my opinion about the mental health field here, hoping it gets heard. i recently obtained my master's in counseling psychology, and have worked as a case manager and therapist for several years. i've worked in community mental health, and at a jail as a drug abuse therapist. i personally feel like therapy is inherently impractical. we are offering a service that is expensive, hard to stick with, and few have access to. i feel like the field is overly controlled by insurance companies, and the clients are the ones suffering. i don't know about you guys, but i have had so many clients leave me because of time conflicts, money problems, or the instant gratification of medication. in community mental health (especially in my state, kansas, where our funding is zip), clients are low income and low ses, and can't afford to spend time in their week going to therapy. they're barely working to put food on the table, and can't afford to leave. i'm worried therapy is going to eventually become something rich people do. rich people go to therapy because they have the time and money, and poor people just get medication. our field is going to suffer if are business caters to such a small minority of people. we need to find ways to make therapy accessible to everyone. we should be doing research into the impracticality of therapy. ways to make it quicker, but just as effective. find out specifically why therapy takes so long. find new and innovate therapeutic interventions that utilize smaller time frames or lower cost. i just feel like we are doing so little to alleviate this. i wish our field spent less time arguing about which form of therapy is better, and more time working to find ways to make therapy readily available to more people. i'm worried that with the boom of medication these past few years, therapy is going to begin to become an option so few people utilize, the field will shrink to nothing. what do you guys think? do you agree or disagree? | my problem with the mental health field | 3bkxv0 | not sure the specifics of the clinic you work for or the type of insurance companies that are available to your clients but medicaid seems to be covering a vast majority of therapeutic services. i work for a clinic and i primarily see clients who are low ses and have medicaid. they pay nothing out of their own pocket for therapy sessions. i would suggest looking into helping your clients find insurance companies through medicaid that offer similar coverage. as for what appears to be your main point, there is already a plethora of research looking at the number of sessions in therapy that is effective. brief therapy modalities are something that has been around for a bit of time now. let me know if you would like specific articles on this. i think the government has begun to recognize that importance of mental health treatment, as seen by medicaid covering a lot of mental health services. it is going to be a systemic change that will allow for mental health care to be more readily available for all. stigma has to decrease and government spending needs to be allocated more efficiently to these services. | mentalhealth | 3bkxv0 |
20/m/us i've waited the appropriate amount of days, can i stop taking them? | i don't like one of the pills i'm on, i've called my doctors and they won't respond. can i go back to my old stuff? | 6pdao9 | what's wrong with clomipramine, and what were you on before? | askdocs | 6pdao9 |
anyone can relate? please share your thoughts | i don't trust my therapist and i'm suspicious/worried she just want money from me | 8o1bsg | as a therapist, i can tell you we don't make a lot of money, nor are we in it for the money. that's literally the first thing we are taught in grad school. you can ask about payments if they are not as affordable and most therapists will have a sliding scale they can use to help make it worth it for you. | bpd | 8o1bsg |
hey, i'm a 20 year old male, going to a large public university/working 15 hrs a week, who has had many acquaintances, but hasn't had a friend in four years, maybe more, plenty of acquaintances, but no friends. my question is simple really, but also hugely complicated: how do i make friends? here's some backstory of my life, sorry for wall of text, i'm just hoping to get the best/ possible advise, or at least get it out, even if it proves too uninteresting for anybody to read. honestly, your probably better off reading the tl dr, because this is going to come out stream of consciousness-y i'm was a weird kid, in 1-3rd grade i was very shy, very, introverted,i couldn't pronounce a bunch of random sounds in the english language. think like a lisp, but for 10-20 sounds and another 10-20 sound combinations. i had, maybe two friends, but they were good friends, the best friends i've ever had, really, and i played, and talked with them a lot. i even played with the other times, sometimes football (i can still throw a good spiral to this day), and sometimes house with the girls, at least until the boys made me choose football. overall, i was very happy, unfortunately, academically i was failing hard, so i was put on anderall and switched to a montosory school for 4th and 5th grade. i was happy there too, even though i became the class clown, and super hyper for some reason, (whether it was just because i became a different person as i aged, or the adderall i don't know) but people still liked me, and i liked them. i was still failing academically, though i always failed the quizes we had on state capitals, and i suppose i was below my grade level on the assignments they'd give us. anywho, by this time, i had been diagnosed with a bunch of random learning disabilities (none verbal learning disability, most notably, but in my opinion, i don't have that, as i don't match its description at all, except for my split iq (~140 verbals ~85 none-verbal, while simultaneously being in the 24th percentile of wrote memory, at least when it comes to memorizing number string, whatever the fuck that means). anywho, my family moved to pa, and put me in a super nice school for kids with learning disabilities, i caught up academically within the first year, but i got 0 peer learning, the kids there were very strange, even stranger then me, and i didn't like any of them, partly because i felt superior, partly because they had a tendency to act out in class, but mostly because they had a tendency to punch me in the face. yet i still managed to get elected by them to middle school student council, go figure. finally in 8th grade, my family moved again, this time i went to a pretty normal if overally expensive private school, i made freinds quickly, even though by this time i was off adderhal, on paxel, and had shifted back to super paranoid/introverted. i was slow to make friends, but i eventually did make a few, even though we actually hung out outside of school, maybe, 3-4 times. i even almost got girlfriend that i liked, and was super attractive, , but for reasons unbeknownst to me to this day, in 10th grade, when she tried to have sex with me, i ran out of her house, later, when she asked if i would be her boyfriend, i also ran of the school. moved again at the end of 10th grade though, and went to a large public high school. i succeeded in debate, and teachers liked me, (by this time i had taken 6ish years of speech therapy, and talked like a normal person) but i was finding it hard to get up in the morning, because none of the kids seemed to like me enough to hang out with me when i asked. nobody would return my texts. i should add that for some reason, even since i was a little kid that everybody thought was retarded, i'd always wanted to join the army. even though i've always been a guy who thinks pretty much every war the u.s has been in (with the exception of wwii) has been a terrible mistake, i wanted to join the army then go into politics. it wasn't even a question, its what i was going to do. well, thanks to the clinical depression and the adhd diagnoses i got, (all before reached age 10!), i got rejected from the army (they don't take crazies, it turns out, i thought i could get waivers until the very last minute, (in fact i was about get an army scholarship to smallish liberal arts college, pending acceptance into the army, which was supposed to be a formality) anyway, fast forward to now, i've finished 3 semisters at state college, did great the first 2 ( 3.6 gpa for those, ironically, it was easier because nobody was grading me down for not having a pencil, or being 5 minutes late or any of that crazy hs stuff, and most of my classes are writing based/multiple choice tests rather then wrote memory) but this last semester i got a 1.5 gpa. not to mention i'm going to have to take math classes soon, which will bring my gpa down lower. i even quit my data entering job, so i could switch to a less paying retail job for some human interaction, but i think because of my forgetfulness/motor disgraphia, i suck at menial work and always get fired, and now i cry whenever somebody asks me what make me a good employee in an job interview, because i just can't lie and pretend anymore. tl, dr: i have no friends, when i ask my acquaintances if they want to hang out with me, they passive aggressively decline, and stop being my acquaintances, i'm crying during job interviews whenever they ask me what my strengths are, and i'm flunking out of college despite a good first semester because die by the spreadsheet or die by the spatula, i'm still going to die alone. | no friends, no life, no hope? | 171boi | you should see a counselor. like for real. a counselor will help you work through your feelings, and will remind you that you are loved and that there is hope :) also, read [this](WEBLINK) | socialskills | 171boi |
so this all started right around my 24th birthday, where i just woke up one day in an immense amount of pain that would not go away. i went to the doctor complaining about headaches, and they went over the most common types of headaches, and prescribed me some pain medication. the several different types of medication that they prescribed me had little to no effect, and i ended up getting frustrated and going to see a neurologist. the first neurologist was basically a jerk when i explained to him why i thought his diagnosis was wrong, so i scheduled an appointment with a different neurologist. neurologist 2 set me up with an mri, eeg, and a psychological exam that all came back normal. so now i am frustrated again because on paper there shouldn't be anything wrong with my brain. this leads me to start drinking heavily because alcohol or benzo's are the only thing that completely eliminates the pain that i am having, and makes me feel like a normal person again. after a year of persistent drinking, i realize that this is not the solution, and enter myself in a recovery program so i could get myself back to normal, and solve my underlying alcohol issues. fast forward, and i have been sober for 13 months, and i am seeing a psychiatrist who has me on the maximum dosage of zoloft. at this point i am frustrated again because i can't function at my job as an electrical engineer, and i basically have to rent my house out and move back in with my parents because i am not working enough to pay my mortgage. i start drinking again to alleviate the pain because i am so sick of not being able to function like i used to be able to. now 2.5 years later the only things that take away the pain are thing like alcohol, and other similar substances to effect that region of the brain. i had another mri, and eeg done recently, and when neurologist 3 compared the results to my previous tests, there was essentially no change. i am posting this because i need to get back to my life, and am desperate because the professional advice that i have sought for the last 2.5 years have not given me any successful results. basically i would like to have any potential causes that i can bring to my neurologist the next time that i meet with her so that she can evaluate the possibilities. | [advice] i have had a persistent condition for the last 2.5 years where i constantly have pain/inability to function in my brain. i've seen 4 neurologists, multiple psychiatrists, etc., and no one can figure it out. | 1s0nls | might consider seeing a psychologist as well. your experience is similar to those who experience somatization disorder. might consider seeing a psychologist to see if that can be ruled out. | mentalhealth | 1s0nls |
i’m feel so disappointed in myself ;( | relapse after 27 days | j5i5aw | here’s to 27 days! that’s an accomplishment and some self-compassion is warranted. you did a great job for those 27 days and can do it again! rather than failure, let’s reframe this as a learning experience. now, we can look at what happened at day 27 and plan for how do we help next time get to day 28? :) | bulimia | j5i5aw |
i'm a 32f, was diagnosed at 29. i thought i was just really hungover, but welp, turns out it was the plague! i live in nc where is is pretty much unheard of. got rid of it after multiple rounds of antibiotics, but now have some sort of autoimmune and thyroid condition. i cant find a doc for the life of me that has even seen yersinia, let alone know if this sort of response is typical? tried asking at /r/autoimmune with no success | yersinia pestis anyone? (plague?) | 6cyo2e | no infectious disease on my side of the country was interested in seeing me. i went to cleveland clinic for testing two years ago and saw one, she waved me off and dismissed me saying the "episode was done" and she "didn't know what you want me to do about it" needless to say i was sorely disappointed with that trip | askdocs | 6cyo2e |
smash that repeat button again. who gives a shit?! enjoy your music however you want to! that's all. have a great day you lovely brains :) edit: wow! didn't realize so many of you felt like the only ones who do this. lemme share some of the stuff i've learned about his phenomenon: no it's actually not exclusive to adhd folks but we definitely do it more often! the current science suggests this may be due to dopamine transmitters; we have less of them so that makes dopamine releasing activities fairly addicting to us and there's few things in the world that give a surge of dopamine like music does! if your noodle finds a tune that gives it the fix it wants, then it's much more likely you'll hit it again and again than a neurotypical noodle will. so if your spouses, roommates, parents, friends, or pets get annoyed by this habit, politely remind them that hey... at least you aren't smoking crack! | to those of you playing the same song on repeat all... day... long... | i0r217 | aw man, i was loving panic! at the disco recently and i was just hitting repeat over and over but now... now it has gotten old in my head... and i am sad. i don't know where to go from here lol | adhd | i0r217 |
i have been with my fiance for 10 years now, and we have been engaged for 3 years. i have suffered from depression for as long as i can remember and i have told him about it. i also suffer from bipolar, and anxiety. one day i was reading my fiance's messages and he was making fun of me to his best friend about me having bipolar. it hurt my feelings so bad, to think that i told this person something personal about me and all he did was take it and make it into a laughing matter with someone who didn't even need to know my personal business. it wasn't his right to tell his best friend and it made my depression a whole lot worse. my depression has been getting worse for the last few years, but i put on a smile on my face to show him that i am okay. i can't tell him what is going on, because i know he won't understand. last year i had a really bad episode to the point that i broke down crying in our bedroom, because of everything that was going on and it hurt that i couldn't tell him. i didn't want him to think of me as being so low, and making fun of me for it. my parents had always told me that i am just doing stuff for attention, so i don't really feel comfortable telling people stuff. he proved to me that i can't even tell him stuff, even though i would love to be able to talk to him about what goes through my head, and how it affects my daily life. i do want to marry my fiance, but sometimes i feel like he doesn't want to marry me, since we have been engaged for so long. i don't know if it just me thinking that or if it part of my depression. he doesn't understand how my depression causes me to think and feel about certain stuff. it would be nice if he could be more understanding when i am having a bad day, or even just to let me vent to him about stuff. i have tried to see a therapist about what is going on with me, but he made me stop, because he doesn't understand how talking about stuff can help me. lately i have been feeling like our relationship is more one-sided with me always trying to please him and keep him calm, like i am walking on egg-shells around him. i am afraid to say the one thing to him, because i don't want to make him mad at me. lately i have been so stressed, and i can't tell him that. how do you tell someone that you are stressed and you need time to yourself when they are so busy with their own stuff? i don't want him to think less of me for being stressed and depressed. thank you for reading my post. | fiance made fun of me | a1ojhj | talk to him about how that makes you feel. it’s never ok for someone to make fun of you, especially someone you plan to marry. and i think it’s super insensitive of your parents to tell you that you’re trying to get attention. depression is real and it infuriates me when people just dismiss it or mental health in general. | depression | a1ojhj |
hey everyone! as the title said, my nephew died unexpectedly 16 days ago, and we have no idea how. we are still waiting for the autopsy report, but our family is obviously grieving and the uncertainty is killing us. therefore im turning to you, in order order for, even if it's very little, information. i will do my best in explaining the whole situation. im also an crna and therefore have some medical knowledge. my nephew was a typical teenager. just finished high school, didn't have a job yet. was up all night gaming and sleeping all day. had alot of friends, was a very kind-hearted person. had no known medical issues apart from being born pre-mature and having add. according to his little sister and some friends, after the incident, he occasionally took lyrica as recreational drug use, but very certain that there was no other drugs. the night he died he hung out with two friends. the friend suspected that he had taken lyrica before arriving at their place, but that he got more normal as the night progressed. all they did was playing video games and watching movies. at 5 in the morning my nephew texted his little sister that he was coming home at around 11-12 and then they all went to bed (all three slept in the same bed). at 11 the friend's father enters the room and finds my nephew on the floor stone-cold dead. probably been dead for a few hours. anyway they all freaked out and started cpr and called 911. when help arrived they worked on him for about 30 minutes before going to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. about a week later i called the pathology lab asking if there was any information. i didn't talk to a doctor but the person read from some report that there were no structural causes for the sudden death. heart was normal, no ruptures etc. the lungs were abit enlarged and that the brain weighed too much (cerebral edema?). they have taken samples and biopsies that's been sent away for analyzing. we're at a loss here... i have two scenarios in my head. first, he just died. sudden cardiac death without structural cause (cardiomyopathy etc), maybe caused by some recreational drug. second, he od'd on opiates and fell out of bed and stopped breathing. this however feels so out of character for him. it also seem strange to take something just before going to bed. what do you all think? is there anything im missing or not seeing clearly? or maybe someone with more expertise? | what killed my(30m) nephew(19m)? | eur94u | the toxicology report will eventually come out from the autopsy. if it’s positive for opioids, or less likely other substances, then that’s the probable explanation. if not, then most likely sudden cardiac death, as others have mentioned. our guesswork isn’t going to outperform the autopsy. | askdocs | eur94u |
sometimes i wish my bearded dragons would just die so i don’t have to take care of them anymore. i’m 15f and i’m so tired of taking care of my brothers animals. i can’t give them away because of my mother. it’s become so stressful to constantly worry about them. i’ve made a lot of progress with them because they used to be really depressed and now they’re happier— and they’re eating a lot more. i love them, but i hate that they were shoved into my hands when they were being so neglected that nobody wanted to take care of them anymore and they wouldn’t even let me give them away. i didn’t want them in the first place. sometimes i wish that they would die just so that i don’t have to constantly worry about taking care of them anymore. i don’t want to seem like a bad owner, and i do everything i have to do for them. but it seems like more of a chore than anything because i didn’t want them at first and it’s killing me. i’m just tired. i feel like such a shitty person for writing this. but i had to get it off my chest. | sometimes i wish my bearded dragons would just die so i don’t have to take care of them anymore. | efjmfn | why won’t your mother let you get rid of them? | offmychest | efjmfn |
just want to make sure i'm not overlooking anything. | so, just to be clear: as a 25 year old uninsured american in poverty, there's no way for me to talk to a qualified therapist on a regular basis. is that correct? | 7gl6if | correct, maybe. it depends on a few things. 1: where you are. 2: what "qualified" means to you. if you are in a big city/ near a university with a graduate program you are likely able to get treatment for free in a training clinic. on top of this, it is possible to sign up for a treatment study of there is one near. there is some possibility of online treatment studies in the future (i know of several programs that are considering it). also most larger cities have some service or community mental health provider that provides very low cost or free treatment. many therapists are also willing to do sliding scale or pro-bono for someone in need (this can be hard to find unless you know who to talk to) | mentalhealth | 7gl6if |
god willing, i will celebrate 16 years clean and sober in a few days. this gift came after i drank alcoholically for 30 years from age 13 to 43. i heard in treatment and in recovery rooms that alcoholism and addiction interferes with emotional maturation. if i stopped maturing emotionally at age 13 and resumed when i got sober, my adjusted emotional age would now be 29 - the same age as my son. in some ways that seems about right. he and i really relate to each other. i feel like i am taking responsibilty and getting my shit together they way it might have been expected for someone about to turn 30 rather than 60. my life can be divided into three distinct phases; childhood and adolesence, alcoholism, and recovery. in some ways, i regret (despite most of the promises having been realized) the impact my disease may have had on my life. i wonder what might have been, had i stopped drinking and found recovery at age 20 or even 30 years old. i realize these are immature musings of a lad of 29 and more will be revealed. i do recognize that i have been able to help several recovering alcoholics because my experience was exactly the way it was supposed to be. this reminds me of the saying that the best time to plant a tree (stop drinking) was 20 years ago, and the second best time is right now. | emotional maturity retarded by addiction | eg08z4 | i joined aa when i was 23 in 1978 and have been sober ever since. i go to as many meetings as i can that’s usually 4 or 5 a week. here’s a good working definition of maturity: an adult is a person who is not governed by demands for immediate pleasure, comfort and excitement. moreover an adult is able to organize the events and emotions of their life into a memory, a rough meaning, a story. an adult understands that the world belongs primarily to the dead and we only rent it from them for a little while. they created it, they wrote its literature, its songs and are deeply invested in how children are treated because children are the ones who will keep it going. the adult is the one who has been able to preserve his or her intensities, including the intensities proper to their generation. an adult is one who goes out and gathers jewels of feeling for others. finally, the adult understands renunciation. robert bly - sibling society | alcoholicsanonymous | eg08z4 |
i had an experience from hell yesterday with alcohol. it was just me and my buddy drinking some brews and taking some shots. the next thing i know i wake up in the hospital e.r. the hospital then informs me i had fallen off my second story balcony. however no serious injuries were obtained. i call my buddy i was drinking with and he tells me a different story. apparently i was an aggressive blackout drunk yesterday. i was opening and slamming my door alot, when a bunch of neighbors started complaining. i live in an apartment building where there is a lobby leading to all the apartments. once the neighbors started complaining i decided i was not being loud enough. proceeded to get my garbage bag full of empty beers, and go into the lobby and bang it against the walls and the floors. the neighbors then call the cops while my friend is trying to tell them not to. the cops come knocking, so i decided to run to my balcony to jump off and escape. cops than found me unconscious on the ground. left hospital at 5am and walked home for a hour in the gown they gave me. got home and cracked open a beer, reflecting on how all my neighbors hate me. | i fucked up. | 3iutkd | cops might come back. be careful. | cripplingalcoholism | 3iutkd |
not even sure if this is the correct place to post this but to cut to the chase i need some advice with my crush. i feel embarrassed to post here but it would be better to know other people's opinion on the situation. some details i should include are that she is quite a shy girl but i am also a shy guy that won't initiate a conversation but i can still participate and hold a conversation relatively easily. i'm not sure wether or not i should approach her because as i said before i am quite shy and would like to know if it is possible that she also likes me because there are some things she does to suggest that she does like me. i will see her staring/glancing at me in the corner of my eye but i usually don't look back at her and when we talk she always seems really chirpy and smiles the whole time. the last time i spoke to her she did something which quite caught me off guard. she kept complaining about a twitch in her eye and asked me if i could see it. her eye was definitely not twitching and we would make solid eye contact for about 5 seconds before breaking it but she would keep complaining about this twitch and we would lock eyes again and maintain it for longer each time. i'm just confused as i'm not really experienced with this kind of thing. this is my first ever reddit post and i'm on mobile so i apologise if the post does not read too well as this was quite rushed. should i try my luck or am i just being hopeful? | some advice here would be greatly appreciated! | 5t3kf7 | nothing to lose by asking her out, and everything to gain | relationship_advice | 5t3kf7 |
my therapist says i need to learn how to deal with stress, fears, doubts, and pretty much anything negative that comes across... but she hasn't been very eager to tell me how. i draw a blank trying to think of ways to cope that aren't distraction. what do others do? | how do i learn coping skills that are not just avoidence. | wk4on | avoidance is not a way to cope at all. individually, coping skills vary. basically- you need to find what works for you. this can include journaling, physical activity, talking to someone, practice being assertive and getting your needs met, breathing or muscle relaxation techniques, etc. it all depends on who you are and what you're dealing with. if your therapist is unable or unwilling to help you cope, then get a new one. | depression | wk4on |
currently a construction estimator, cant stand it mostly. but i literally have zero clue what i could keep my attention on everyday. everything i think of i feel like couldn't hold my attention long enough. i feel like i dont belong in the workforce. what careers fit someone who has (yes like most adhd people) the ability to only focus for short bursts, as opposed to all day? every career option makes me painfully nervous about being successful at it or it keeping my attention the whole day. i also have anxiety interacting with customers (not so much employees) as a part of the job? i was good at being a ups truck loader way back when as it was just "react" to box coming in and make a wall out it. but i don't want to do a warehouse job. **other careers i've attempted and did not enjoy, and sucked at:** electrical apprentice electrical estimator **i have no degree, but did 3 semesters of electrical technology degree (don't care about using it for a career in anything electrical anymore), didn't finish as i got accepted into the union early at the time** | how did you go about choosing your career? | 60wi7g | for myself, i have always wanted to work with helping people but was not sure how to go about doing that. what helped me was taking a career exploration course since i found it interesting. they did some assessments to gauge what careers match with your skills and interests. i actually found it was more fun to help the other students find out their passion! "aha moment" i now currently work in education but am also completing my masters to go into marriage and family therapy...want to eventually work with adults who have adhd like myself! the good thing you have going is that you already have some ideas of what you don't want which can help weed out careers | adhd | 60wi7g |
age: 24 gender: male race: indian diagnosed with thyroid problem at least 10 years back. i am not regular on medication because i don't feel like i'm sick, so i take medicines for 3 months and stop them for 6-9 months and then start again. i am the only guy whom i know has thyroid problem and apparently more than 90% of the health related websites i visited didn't mentioned anything about guys having thyroid! | my tsh level is 16.09, i am a guy, how bad is it or what is going to happen if i don't get it treated? | c8jl6l | a bunch of what u/rncookiemaker said is wrong. tsh is produced by the pituitary, not the thyroid, and is the signal to the thyroid to produce thyroid hormone (t3 and t4). if your thyroid doesn't work, your pituitary produces more and more tsh to try to get enough thyroid hormone and it doesn't work, hence the elevated tsh in hypothyroidism. hypothyroidism is much more common in women than men, but much more doesn't mean it's anywhere close to unheard-of in men. a high tsh is not sufficient for a diagnosis of hypothyroidism. for that you also need a doctor to check thyroid hormones directly, but it's worth doing, because one thing that other posters have gotten right is that untreated hypothyroidism feels terrible and can be very dangerous. you would need to discuss with a doctor exactly what thyroid hormone you have been taking in the past and how long ago you took it. | askdocs | c8jl6l |
hi! i’ve been spacing out since i was in grade 7 and i thought it was just normal. i’m currently in my senior high school and like i said, i’m still spacing out. i keep forgetting how i reached a specific place, forgetting how i did something but there’s an evidence that i did do it, and sometimes people saying my voice and eyes changed for a bit. my friend told me that i’m showing symptoms of did, how can i make sure? | symptoms of did | fuaii1 | there are a few different things going on here. spacing out does not necessarily mean disassociating. and disassociating, which has many causes , is not the same as did. did requires the presence of at least 2 distinct personalities. this used to be called multiple personality disorder. if you are worried about the spacing out, definitely talk to a psychologist who can help you pinpoint exactly what is going on. | askatherapist | fuaii1 |
i was scrolling through a crime stories subreddit and found the story about the teens from ukraine who beat and old man to death with a hammer. idk what it was. morbid curiosity? wondering if it was real? but i found the video, skipped a minute in, and immediately regretted it. i turned it off when i saw what kind of sick shit was taking place. i already have diagnosed depression and anxiety, this made my heart rate spike. i have a huge fear of death and the thought of that happening makes me fucking sick. i don't ever look at gore, i try to avoid it. idk what it was this time but it just got to me. so i decided to look, and i absolutely still regret it. it's scarred me. i worry about those things happening to me or my family. i don't know how to cope with this, and im afraid to bring it up to a therapist in case me seeing it was illegal or if he'll report me bc he thinks im a physcopath. this just really got to me and i needed a place to vent. much love to everyone, sorry mods if this wasn't what this sub was made for. | saw gore videos, think i have ptsd | emcctu | hello! your therapist has no obligation to report that to anybody. you are free to talk about that with them. it is not illegal to "see" things on the internet that you have no connection to. you might be having an acute stress reaction. that is not ptsd: this diagnosis requires 6+ months of symptoms and is quite specific in it's presentation. also, a main tenant of psychopathy is lack of expressed and/or perceived emotion in reaction to events. that does not sound like what is happening here. talk with your therapist about what you saw and what you are experiencing due to it. they can help you with that. | mentalhealth | emcctu |
there's no one i can see in my small town but i need help, preferably someone really really good at dealing with ptsd and anxiety. so where do you start? google is unsurprisingly unhelpful at generic big picture searches like "ptsd skype psychologist". would yelp be worth looking at and then just contacting random therapists to see if they'll work over skype? anyone want to pm me a rec? | skype therapist help | 5tp174 | i know this is not what you asked, but be careful. the likelihood that you will find a skilled clinician working over skype is low, and with ptsd bad therapy can increase symptoms and be retraumatizing. | mentalhealth | 5tp174 |
i created a group called r/young_alcoholics for those 30 and under (non exclusive obviously, just geared towards) young alcoholics who can share, vent, their recovery process, their desire to get sober, or share the positives for those who are currently striving in their own recovery! even trivial yet important things like dating alcohol-free! if you feel lonely due to the pressures of society, anxiety, depression, etc. feel free to join!!! i just turned 24 this week and am currently working on a month alcohol free!! | young alcoholics - you are not alone | ke4r5n | i’ve been sober since i was 23. i’m 65 now. can i join? | alcoholicsanonymous | ke4r5n |
ive had them for a decade now,im 29. i didn't even know there was a word to describe it until my friend a few years back mentioned it in a discussion. it happens whenever i want to go to sleep but i cant. im wide awake but know i should be asleep by now. it sounds like every noise and soundtrack from the pokemon games are playing at once. its basically as if 10 people were playing with their gameboys volume up in the next room, sometimes in the same room when it gets real bad. its innocent enough, kind of annoying but i usually just deal with it. ​ last night i did not hear that. it sounded like.... doors opening and deep wind howling among many other noises. like my room was much larger than it was? i just need to know if anyone experiences this and if its common or something our mind just does as a result of stress. hearing all new noises as if they were right there just alarmed me. it was actually kind of freighting. i felt my self hone in to single out sounds, almost as if i was moving " deeper" into this new found space. but i had this fear that made me just get up and shake it off because i never ever want to hear a voice, i feel like that would be too much. ​ | should i ignore random auditory hallucinations ? | 9gvmuw | hi there! auditory hallucinations are not always necessarily problematic or symptoms of something serious, like a psychotic disorder. it's not too uncommon for people to experience them as they're trying to fall asleep. most commonly, they're experienced as voices, so your experience sounds a little less common. again, that doesn't necessarily mean it's pointing to some greater issue! however, given that hearing these sounds is starting to bothering you, i think it's worth bringing up with a mental health professional! source: currently getting my doctorate in clinical psychology | anxiety | 9gvmuw |
i have a friend who keeps borrowing money. no matter how much debt he’s in. every time i hear him on the phone he’s making up a lie to get people to give him money. its been such a problem for him and his family for years but he won’t stop. he owes literally everyone money. each person that crosses his path. i think it’s an addiction. but i’ve looked it up everywhere and no information on it. anyone know if you can get addicted to borrowing ps: he’s unemployed but could love comfortably since his wife makes lots of money. he isn’t spending it on alcohol or anything ( from what i know ). he just does useless things with the money until he has 2$ oh his account | does anyone know of a borrowing addiction ? | d0bfvc | i don't know much about it, but maybe try looking into debtors anonymous. WEBLINK | addiction | d0bfvc |
i would consider my self not racist and pretty accepting but i dont know if this is something to with psychology and the brain but after reading a article that in the future whites will become the minority i had a feeling of high anxiety and a feeling of hostility toward other races i dont know this is probably going to be down voted to hell but can any one tell me why this happens or is it just me | racism and psychology | gfde68 | i think it is a good sign that you are willing to admit this and explore it. denying and hiding implicit racism (which is different than hate-based, aggressive racism) is problematic. openly exploring privilege is the only way to combat it. definitely continue this discussion with someone you trust and respect. | askatherapist | gfde68 |
a week ago, one of my closest girl friends and i have started this "friends with benefits" relationship(not necessarily sex just yet) with each other because we don't think we could work romantically but we are still physically attracted to each other. it's started simple with thigh and butt touching, since we are in high school and we can't really do much there. one of my closest friends is practically in love with this girl, but she has friendzoned him multiple times. she has tried to make it clear she just wants to be friends with him. our whole ordeal has been behind all of our friends' backs because we don't want other people to know. should i keep on going or should i stop and get my friend's approval? if you think i should keep on going, what are other things i can do with how simple the physical aspect is at the moment. tl;dr fwb with the girl who one of my closest friends is practically in love with but has been friendzoned by her. should i stop and ask for his approval or keep going? | [18/m] friends with benefits like situation with [18/f] | 5oulue | i wouldn't ask him anything. i would decide on your loyalty to him and his feelings. | relationship_advice | 5oulue |
my friend sara has been seeing her therapist, caty, for a year now. if you look at my last post, my friend sara was statutorily raped by her step brother, landon, and i was the one who reached out and told sara's mother on her behalf. once it was out in the open, she told her therapist about it and her therapist reported it. now, i'm having a hard time dealing with things because landon's family is blaming me for reporting it, when i didn't. i simply told sara's mother, because she asked me to. caty, the therapist, is the one who reported it. to start over with a new therapist who doesn't know all of this information would take multiple sessions. but caty knows all the parts of this story, she is involved. am i allowed to schedule a session with her and talk about these things? | can i see the same therapist as a close friend? | blus32 | allowed? yes. sara's therapist may not want to schedule this appointment (as mentioned in another comment). however, i think considering this context it may make a lot of sense if she did. | askatherapist | blus32 |
i am tired. so fucking tired of this roommate of mine. she has lived with me for 2 months and it has been a living hell the entire time. i hate to even be awake when she's awake. i need to make a list of all the things i dislike about her in hopes that it will help me feel a bit better. here we go. * odd sleeping schedule. she will stay up until like 7am and then get up at like freakin 5pm. she works from home (if you call it work she makes like 10 dollars a day) so she can work whenever but the fact that my lights are on 24/7 because of her weird ass sleep schedule annoys me. which leads to my next complaint. * she is driving all my bills up. i took on a roommate so i could save money for a new car. this chick takes 45 minute showers, leaves lights and her pc on 24/7. she is wasteful when it comes to food as well but she has food stamps so that's her problem i guess. but anyone who will open a thing of lunch meat and then sniff it the next day to make sure it's still good is really fucking stupid. you just opened it. doesn't matter though because she'll throw it away after it's been open for just 24 hours. ridiculous. * she's really dumb. like not intelligent at all. she's 30 years old and doesn't know how to do basic things like open a bank account, use the washer/dryer, use the oven, cook a hamburger. things that are really common sense. she's just not book smart as well. her vocabulary is very limited. however... * she talks all the time. she comments on the smallest thing my cats do, what's going on outside. she can't just tell a story she has to drag it out for like 5 minutes. everything is funny to her. i can't have a conversation with anyone else in my house without her butting in. i'm not talking to you! why are you putting in your two cents?! * she's lazy. the only thing she will do is dishes when i write on the board that it's her turn. she will not wipe down a kitchen counter, clean the bathroom (her hair is all over my bathroom sink right now and the bathroom trash is running over with her 200 pads/panty liners). it's like she's not going to do anything until i tell her to. i'm not her mother so this thought pisses me off so badly. * she thinks it's okay to just not have rent on time. she has the money to pay her part of rent right now but she thinks she should have a few more days to make more money so she doesn't have to spend what she has now. tomorrow will not be pleasant for her because i'm going to demand she give me all the money she owes or she's out the door. she will sit at her computer on facebook or tumblr all day but she won't make her goals with her job. * she has no goals for the future. she just mooches off me and the government. she lived with her parents until the age of 30 and is just content with her food stamps, no driver license and 10 dollar a day job. when i kick her out (which will happen in the next few months i'm sure) she'll go right back to living with her parents and doing nothing all day long. * she sits at her desk and stares at me. i feel like when i'm in the same room with her she has a damn staring problem. it's creepy though there are more pressing issues than that. it's just annoying. * back to the food. she will use my food without asking. she went through 3 gallons of milk by herself in less than a month. that is insane to me. i don't get food stamps so that is coming out of my pocket. * she goes through a 24 pack of toilet paper in a week. i have stopped sharing it with her because of this. she currently has half a roll that i so graciously let her have until she gets more. * she never leaves the house. she is either sleeping or sitting in front of her computer. never even goes out on the porch or anything. sigh. i'm sure there are a ton of other things i can't stand but that's all i can think of right now that stands out. | most annoying roommate, ever. | 221pws | is she... sick or something? sounds too weird to be true. | offmychest | 221pws |
my university's health services are notoriously bad and i'll have to wait months to see someone. i'm in the us btw. i can't really talk to my parents about it because they don't believe in mental health issues, they think i just have a discipline problem. i'm 20 years old. for context, i worked hard in high school and got into a very good college, but am now essentially unable to do anything. i constantly feel anxiety in my stomach and have a hard time even checking my email, and i can't even muster the motivation to get up in the morning. it may just be me being a lazy pos, but i feel like i should talk to someone. please lmk if i should post this elsewhere. | i'm a college student and i think i may have a sever anxiety and/or depression issues. how do i get help? i don't know what to do. | hbn2op | you could also ask in r/askpsychiatry. you don't really have a specific question here. if you have insurance, even through your parents, there should be a number on the card that you can call for mental health services. the networks they have can be frustrating to access and getting to see someone can take months regardless. university health services might at least be a start for you, and they might be able to make a referral. | askdocs | hbn2op |
so after months of looking for a doctor accepting new patients near me, i finally got an appointment with a doctor to seek medication for the adhd iv dealt with my whole life. i'm excited that i might be able to make a positive change in my life. but there is a problem that i'm worried might fuck me over after finally seeing a doctor. i have faded self-inflicted scars on my left arm that i'm worried the doctor will see and instantly deny medication. they are from when i was a teenager, probably like 13 and mostly just did it for attention mixed with just being a fucking idiot when i was younger, not really out of depression. now i'm stuck with the stupid mistakes i made as a kid and i'm worried when i go to the doctor this week it will fuck me over. what do you guys think? | i finally got an appointment to see a doctor! but i might be fucked... | 7vutar | fwiw i just saw someone yesterday for the first time and disclosed a history of self-harm in my teenage years, including suicide attempts, and he was still willing to treat with medication (got an rx for concerta, though i now have to wait for insurance to figure out what med they actually wanna pay for). as long as you're clear and upfront when asked about it, there shouldn't be an issue. i'm 28, so i haven't self-harmed in over 14 years, so while it's important for my clinician to know, it didn't have direct bearing on my current state today + why i'm seeking treatment. i hope this is helpful. | adhd | 7vutar |
[18f] 2 months ago i started seeing this guy who i wasn't sure about at first but decided to give him a chance. as the relationship progressed i started falling for him more and more and now i'm completely in love with him and he treats me so well. as i said before i've never been in a serious so this is uncharted territory. last night i went out with friends and got extremely drunk (to the point where i eventually passed out and don't remember much) and made out with a friend's friend multiple times who i had told earlier that night that i was in a relationship. after the incident i immediately went to the bathroom and started crying because i was so upset that i would do something like that to him because i love him so much and then i passed out. the guy that i made out with was also interested in two other girls there that were also in relationships. this morning when i woke up i was still sick and vomiting and my boyfriend came and took care of me which made me feel even worse and i felt terrible even talking to him - i couldn't look him in the eye, i felt so guilty. please give me advice on whether or not i should tell him and if so how to word it so as to not damage him. it's not a matter of my conscience but rather how it would affect him. the kiss meant nothing to me and isn't an indicator of how i feel about him and i really don't want to lose him. he's extremely in touch with his emotions and i really don't know how he's going to take it. | cheating: to tell the truth or not to tell the truth | 6l9nl5 | unless guilt will cause you infinite pain, don't tell him. you didn't have sex. no chance of disease. let it go and move on. | relationship_advice | 6l9nl5 |
this is just bugging me right now and need to vent. thanks in advance for reading. i'm 28 and have been in and out of relationships since i was 17. prior to that i just never had any luck, but at 17 i got thinner and more attractive, so i started getting a lot more attention from girls. it was the same pattern with the girls i dated: i'd be super into them, and the attraction would almost switch off like a light after a month or so. i dated a few girls in my senior year of high school. during my first semester of college i met a girl who would become my first real, long-term relationship. honestly, though, i can't say it was "real." at least, not on my end. it was the same thing: i was very attracted to her at the start for a few months and then the feelings faded. regardless, i stayed. i was too scared to break up with her. i convinced myself i'd fall for her eventually and just stuck it out. we broke up after a few months, but we were back together after 3 months of no contact. it became a toxic on-off relationship for 6 years. after the second to last time we broke up, i went through a very deep depression. it was the absolute worst time of my life. there were a lot of things going on, but one thing i just couldn't get over was having wasted her time for 6 years, having barely spoken to her or seeing her that often for the span of that time. i was also convinced i had narcissistic personality disorder, but my psychologist told me i didn't (i had already been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder). in the relationship, i was in a constant state of wanting to escape but never having the balls to do it. in fact, the reason we went through that breakup was because my friend had mentioned how unhappy i was being with her. she called me to ask about that and the rest is history. she eventually ended up leaving me for an early high school sweetheart whom she is now married to. after her, i went on to date 3 other girls: 2 for about a year each and one for 2 months. it was the same shit with them, each time believing i had found the right person. today, i have no motivation to date anyone. people think i'm weird because i prefer to be alone, but i just don't want to put another woman through the shit storm. i know i'm emotionally fucked up, but i don't think i'm incapable of loving a woman. i can say with certainty that i love my parents, my sister, and my nephews and nieces. with the women i date, however, i feel a resentment; i feel trapped; i feel anxious. have any of you thought you could never love, and then finally met someone who completely surprised you? | is my inability to love due to depression, or is it something deeper? | aat436 | i find myself in a similar situation. maybe we just haven’t met the right person yet. adult attachment might also be playing a role. | depression | aat436 |
i was going through a really rough time as far as my mental health goes. my therapist wasn't the right one for me, so i quit going and was really not feeling so great and was in a pretty dark place. my roommate and i decided to get a cat and ever since my mood has definitely improved. the first few months he hid and was super anxious and i was like same dude. then after a while he decided he could trust us and have been amazing. he sleeps in my bed every night and loves to talk to me. it's really nice having him there when my roommate isn't home. his presence makes me feel a little less alone. i still struggle with it, but he's made it a little easier cause i have this cute little guy that's always happy to see me. just thought i'd share this for anyone who is thinking about getting an esa or just wanted something nice to read. | getting a cat helped my mental health | bb9yna | very nice to hear. pets are incredible for mental health. they help reduce the feeling of isolation, give you more of a sense of purpose because if for no other reason, you have to stay alive to take care of your loved one. on top of that, you'll never get the unconditional love from humans in the same way you get from a pet who loves you. | mentalhealth | bb9yna |
i think ive severed some of the nerves in my spinal cord, but i did not feel any pain or needles and pins afterwards, just a sensation of muscle weakness and cognitive dimming.. is it possible to cut spinal cord nerves and experience what ive experienced? or am i delusional? m28 94 kg 193 cm had paranoid psychosis in 2018 | can you cut a nerve in your spinal cord without experiencing any pain or needles and pins? | comx0y | you haven’t described the problem well enough. 1. it’s not really possible to damage your spinal cord without some kind of notable event, either severe trauma or serious illness. 2. it’s at least possible to very focally damage a nerve in your spinal cord such that it causes only focal weakness. it isn’t possible to damage your spinal cord in a way that produces generalized muscle weakness, and it’s also not possible for spinal cord problems to cause cognitive changes. | askdocs | comx0y |
this is my first relationship. we've been dating for a year and sometimes i wonder if i'm being too sensitive. i can sense the slightest change in his behavior and i analyze everything that he says. for example he usually cuddles with me every night. last night he mostly stayed to his side of the bed and when he did cuddle it felt different. it was more of a loose cuddle. or i notice if he's quieter than usual and analyze that. he's also asked if i feel like i want more dating experience and that makes me think he wants out of the relationship. when i've asked this he's said he's happy and that's not what he wants. am i being too sensitive? also, is it normal to dislike him sometimes? like i love him but sometimes i don't like him. is that a bad sign for the relationship. | am i being too sensitive? | 6a5lco | try not to put every moment under a microscope | relationship_advice | 6a5lco |
let me start off by saying i love working out. i love the burn, i love how i feel afterwards (immediately after, when i'm sweaty and pumped up, and even after i shower and cool down and feel relaxed). but it takes huge mental effort for me to be able to even jog. when i think of lifting or doing anything besides jogging, i immediately get uncomfortable. why? it's simple: i feel like i'm being watched, and judged/criticized. even when i'm completely alone. i do a ton of embarrassing things when i'm alone, like pick my nose, fix a wedgie, trip over my laptop's power cord, but it's when i want to get a jog in for the day that i start to internally freak out. i'll get my shorts on, a comfy t shirt, and my sneakers, then i'll take myself outside and that's when i feel it-- endless staring. i'll look around to comfort myself, telling myself no one is around, but i still feel that judging stare on me. telling me that i should feel stupid for trying to stay healthy and fit. i've felt like this ever since i was a kid, i'd say probably like kindergarten onwards. a couple years ago, i was telling a close friend about my weird paranoid feelings associated only with working out, and then i suddenly remembered something that happened to me in kindergarten. my feelings sort of started to make sense, but i'm still really confused and remembering this didn't make my paranoia go away. when i was in kindergarten, i loved running around and being a typical screaming, obnoxious kid at recess and in gym class. i would play tag with my friends until i was out of breath. i loved gym class and really enjoyed the fun games our teacher had us play. but one day, that was all ruined. one day, we had a substitute gym teacher. this gym teacher just looked like an asshole. he was wearing tight clothing, sunglasses, he was young and had spiked hair, and he looked like he did not want to be babysitting a bunch of little kids. instead of the usual tagging games our usual teacher had us play, this substitute teacher gathered my class onto the field outside. he then had the class spread out so he could talk to us about the activities for the day. while the sub was talking, most of us kid were distracted, kicking at the grass, whispering to each other, generally not being able to stand still for this long. i got distracted by my nails, which were dirty from playing in the dirt, so i started to pick the dirt out of them. suddenly, the sub stopped talking. he pointed to me and said something along the lines of "... and it looks like we're all listening pretty well, except for some people who pick their nails." that's when everyone in the class started yelling "ewww!" and laughing at me. i didn't say anything. i didn't know what to say. i had never had something like this happen to me before. i didn't know how to feel. i just knew i was going to have a bad day from then on. after the sub's instructions were over, he had us all line up on one end of the field. apparently, we were to run to the opposite end of the field, and then back, and then to the opposite end again, and back again, until the class was over. this guy obviously didn't give a fuck about being here and found an easy way to get his day over with. after that comment from the teacher and my class' reaction to it, i started feeling weirdly self-conscious. i was never this aware of myself before. i couldn't keep up with the other kids because i felt like i looked stupid when i was running. i'm sure there were other kids running at varied speeds, especially the bigger kids in my class, but i could only pay attention at how slow i was running, and wondering why i felt stupid, and realizing that i always had fun running prior to this. i don't remember how the class ended, we may have just had free time for the last 10 minutes of class and i probably joined some friends in wallball or played with some insects like i usually did. but from then one i have always felt hyper-aware of myself whenever i work out. it's because of this strange hyper-awareness that i don't work out as regularly as i'd like to. whenever i do manage to force myself to go for a jog or visit the gym, i feel extremely uncomfortable the entire time, but afterwards i feel great that i got through it despite my mental block. so what do you guys think? am i just crazy? have i let some harmless childhood occurrence get too far? do i need professional help or medication for this? sorry for the lengthy post, i'm new to reddit and i feel like i can finally talk about this strangeness publicly here. | am i crazy? (lengthy story) | 2l4gjn | crazy? no. hell, i'd imagine there are scores of people with the same problems. it sounds like you've developed some insecurities and anxieties that possibly developed somewhat due to some of the experiences you've reported. it doesn't make you "crazy" it simply means that (like all humans) you have some issues that are causing you problems. however, unlike many- you were willing to share about them. good for you. certainly you don't "need" professional help, though i imagine you'd likely benefit from seeing a psychologist/seeking out therapy. | mentalhealth | 2l4gjn |
please be as honest as possible. edit - ok, so wow. i'm not crazy after all. i appreciate the replies and everyone venting their insights so others can read. | cuddling & talking out load to a pillow as though it's a so in your life that cares about you. is this absolutely fucking pathetic or what? | 49nik2 | nope. not pathetic at all. i'd call it self-care. | depression | 49nik2 |
WEBLINK my face looks fat under sunlight even though i am pretty skinny. is it normal for chin/mouth area to look like that under sunlight or is this swelling? i use benzoyl peroxide for acne, last week i woke up and my face was very swollen but after i week of icing, it still looks like this. i have been continuously using benzoyl this past week. is this swelling or just the way i look? | face swelling or normal? | 755in9 | i think its just the way you look, which is pretty normal. | askdocs | 755in9 |
ok this is going to be quite long. i am partly looking for advice about how to get over her and deal with my feelings, partly wanting opinions on how she feels and what her behaviour means but also just sort of need to get everything out. so bear with me. so i started university a week ago. the day we all moved into halls, myself and this other girl (who i will call hannah) just clicked straight away and became friends really quickly. i instantly liked her as a person and as a friend, but as the day went on i started liking her more and more. then in the evening when i was in her room and we were getting ready to go out for the night it hit me. after that, all of saturday night and sunday i was falling in love, which is totally crazy for me because i have never fallen for someone so fast before - it usually takes me quite a bit longer. anyway, i have fallen completely in love with her, i think she's amazing and i can't ever get her out of my head. i still can't believe i've done this. i predicted a thousand possible things i might struggle with at uni but falling madly in love with a flatmate in the first week was not one of them. its also the first time i have properly felt like this about another girl so it's all very new and confusing. during the first few days of freshers we got very close and had some intimate chats. it turns out we have both experienced quite similar mental health issues in the past, so we bonded over that first. pretty early on she told me she has dated another girl in the past and i said i have felt attracted to female celebrities before so we both feel like we might be somewhere on the spectrum, although we're not entirely sure to what extent and not entirely ready to label ourselves and be totally public with it. that was another bonding thing. sometimes when we have been alone i've felt that there's maybe a vibe between us. we developed a very playful relationship - like arguing over how the washing up should be done and then splashing each other. one of our flatmates actually joked that we were acting like little kids who fancied each other. none of us reacted to this, we both just sort of pretended we hadn't heard it. now, although our mental health issues are similar, we differ in the way we deal with them. when i'm struggling i want to be around people and am very much of the thought that we can all support each other. when she's struggling she literally needs to be on her own and will disappear off to her room to chill or call her parents. she made it clear early on that she would prefer to be left alone when she retreats to her room, so i have forced myself to fight my instinct to go in there and ask if shes ok and instead just leave her. i found that quite difficult because i would rather be around people, but it was fine because i understood that she needed her space and i respected that. when she was feeling ok we would sit together/hang out and one night we came home early from a night out together (because we both hate clubs and drinking and had both had enough) and we had another intimate chat before bed. but the thing is, a few days ago she seemed to go a bit cold on me, and it was fairly sudden. like, one night we stayed in when everyone went out and we had a really intense talk about childhood/mental health/sexuality etc and laughed a lot and the next day we got the bus together from town back to the flat and she seemed ok then...and then almost overnight she went cold on me. she stopped talking to me as much and seemed to make an effort to avoid me; the other night we were all gathering in the living area to play a game and she almost sat down next to me, and then changed her mind and sat somewhere else, "so i can see everyone." on a night out, we were walking along slightly behind the others and i started talking to her about something and she practically cut me off and said "let's catch up with the others" and ran ahead. she then spent the rest of the night walking with the rest of the group and didn't look at me once. whenever we are hanging out with the rest of the flat she seems to practically ignore me. she will look at everyone and talk to everyone but me and it's almost like i'm not there. even if we end up standing in the kitchen together, she seems to make an effort not to meet my eyes. when i go over to sit next to her or we end up alone in the kitchen and i try to make small talk, she engages for a bit, very superficially, then seems to make an excuse to go to her room and doesn't come back out for ages. the other day i went to a social for my subject and i met another girl, who happened to have the same name as hannah, except spelled a different way. i ended up going back to her halls to hang out a bit and i sent a message to the group letting them know. when i got back into our flat, our hannah was sitting on her laptop and didn't even look at me when i walked in. immediately one of the other flatmates said "hannah's not talking to you." i asked why and he said she was pissed off that i met another hannah. i looked at her and she didn't laugh or say she was joking, she looked genuinely moody and she sort of confirmed what he said. when i was talking happily about going to this other girl's flat and how nice it was, she looked up at me and with a stony face and not a hint of humour, said "it's not a good idea to go to someone's flat when you don't know them." which is very ott considering it was broad daylight and only a few minutes away from where we are. she has kept it going and every time i mention the other hannah she pulls a face. everyone else in the flat jokes that she's not my 'number one' hannah anymore, and hannah says something like "well i win anyway because my name is spelled correctly and hers isn't." she's also started being slightly nasty...today another flatmate was teasing me about the way i stack my plates so the 'dirty' water doesn't drain off properly and hannah was behind me and started saying "oooh dirty dirty dirty" in a really childish and mocking tone which didn't seem like a joke and was very out of character for how she usually is. and tonight, there was talk of some of us going down to do our laundry together. hannah went into her room to get ready and while she was in there, our friend decided not to bother tonight. a bit later hannah came out and said "right, i have laundry!" and i told her the other girl wasn't going, but i would go with her. she instantly looked away from me towards another of the guys and started asking them how the laundry works. i joined in with explaining it, because i have done it before, and when it turned out hannah had not even topped up her card i offered to help her work it out. at first she ignored me and when i asked again, she said "i think i'll be alright, but i'll ask you if i need anything." with that she went back into her room. i waited a bit and when she came out into the kitchen half an hour later i asked whether she was doing her laundry and she told me that she had decided to leave it until the morning because she had rung and spoken to a guy and he said it was too late to go down now (it was half 8). i went down myself to check and found that it's open 24hrs. so it seems like she deliberately avoided doing laundry with me. this has convinced me that there's something going on, but i don't know what. my other flatmate has suggested she likes me back, but i have a feeling it may be the opposite; maybe she has picked up on the fact that i like her and doesn't feel the same, so she's trying to back off. unless she does like me but is trying not to, perhaps because she thinks it's too complicated -which it actually is. there are so many reasons we shouldn't be together; we live in the same flat, we have very similar mh issues to each other yet deal with them in completely contrasting ways, we are both slightly confused about our sexuality and not ready to come out as gay/bi to our families...so maybe she's just more sensible than me and is trying to cool it down a bit? or, i said or did something to upset her. i'm thinking i maybe came on a bit too strong with things like going into her room and texting her a lot...although i stopped doing this when i realised she valued her space. the thing is it's only been a week and all the individual days have felt like several and sort of merged into one, so it's hard to tell exactly when it went wrong. anyway...regardless of how she actually feels, the point is that in reality it would most probably never work and i probably can't be with her. but i'm in love with her. so much that i can't concentrate in lectures and i have actually started avoiding her myself because being near her makes me feel unstable. i literally get breathless around her and don't know what to do with myself. the whole of freshers week has been tinged with the pain of longing for someone i probably can't have and i'm dreading the rest of the year. i haven't made any friends outside my flat apart from that one girl and my days seem to revolve around waiting for hannah to get back in and see how she will be with me this time. i can't go on like this for another nine months. so basically i would appreciate opinions on what hannah's strange behaviour might mean, and how to tell whether someone likes you...but ultimately i need advice on how to deal with the pain of loving someone you can't have and how i can move on and make the most out of uni without her. thank you so much if you've read this far! | i [20/f] have fallen in love with one of my uni flatmates [20/f] and it's driving me crazy. | 72gwwh | are you meeting with a counselor now that you’re enrolled in classes? | relationship_advice | 72gwwh |
i believe there's theories of psychology that talk about how we're all driven by underlying subconscious drives and motives. how much of modern day therapy is influenced by those theories? i know therapists ask clients a lot of self introspective questions(how do you think/feel about x, why do you think you think/feel y, etc) | does modern therapy look to uncover the 'subconscious' mind? | g2a2ai | this depends largely on a therapist 's theoretical orientation. you probably won't do much of this work with a cbt therapist, for example , but might with a psychodynamic therapist. | askatherapist | g2a2ai |
i'd like to say that the major depression and anxiety i have is all the chemicals in my head gone wrong. while that may be the case, nothing can hide the fact that even the thought of going to my dad's house sends me into a physically ill, depressed panic. and yet, i'm still here. when my parents initially got divorced, it wasn't so bad. then my dad got married, and right around then i was starting to become more aware of what was going on. growing up, and all that. that's when going to my dad's started to hold some serious negative connotations. he never hit me. he never starved me. the only thing he did was nag and berate me about things i do wrong, how i need to get all a's, not just a's and b's. he would put me down about my weight. about how, at age 12, i should be interested in clothes and makeup like the other girls. it's continued to escalate. when i got my license, he bought me a car in the hopes that i'd move in with him. that plan backfired. i didn't go to his house for nearly a year - only on major holidays that it was planned for me to go there. he begged me to break up with my boyfriend last summer (we had been together for 2 years at this point) because he wasn't going to college and i was. he said i needed to go out and party, and not let an uneducated kid hold me back. (still with said boyfriend, who is doing quite well working a full time job). i'm leaving in a week for my second year at college now. i just am not sure how to go about this. i don't want to be around anymore. i'm not sure how i was able to forgo spending time here that first year i had my car. all he's done is guilt trip me this summer about how i don't spend time here. i can't remember him doing it then. but i just want to make sure i get away from here. far away. and only come back when absolutely necessary. he's not exactly a terrible father... at least, compared to other terrible fathers. but to be fully honest... i almost would have rather he walked out. he's never been appreciative of hard work - only talent and legitimate success. do, there is no try. he uses material items to gain control over people... but they stopped working on me a long time ago. he's just... he's not really a great guy like he comes off as. and its not just him that makes me not want to be here - his bitch wife is a huge problem too. she's horrible, judgmental, and still acts like she's the freaking senior prom queen (which she might have been...). the exact opposite of everything i am. i don't really know what the point of this post was. i just kinda needed to get it out. maybe how to deal with guilt trips, i guess. how to make me appreciate my father more... or to push him farther away. i'm not totally sure what i want. i don't want to do anything i'll regret though. which, at this point, i can't really tell which direction i'll regret more. tl;dr: daddy issues. but not in the sexual sense. | forced suffering. (rant, advice?) | ys01z | i'm so sorry you're in this situation. it sounds beyond awful. also, your father pisses me off. depression is part chemicals, and part environment. environment affects people significantly - see the case of a girl called by the name genie, for a very extreme example. also, do not ever doubt that emotional abuse and psychological manipulation are still abuse that is potentially just as bad and damaging as anything physical, depending on what it is. i'll be honest - your dad is a real piece of work. that behavior would start to harm anyone, frankly, even people not predisposed to mental illness. people commenting on weight, body type, and a lack/abundance of inappropriate masculinity or femininity create mental illness. this is documented scientifically, even. shame on him for doing that. it makes me angry whenever anyone says someone's been doing this. that's legit how people start to get eating disorders and abuse themselves as they internalize the comments. i think that your desire to not be around anymore is a healthy one. it seems like you know what you want, and you know what will make you satisfied and content. as for regret... as an old lady (i say this making fun of myself - i'm 35), you will always have regrets. that's life, you know? even the best decisions can come with small ones. i can't decide what's right or wrong for you as i'm not you. i can say that there is no shame in living a life free of mental, physical, or spiritual abuse. there is no shame in realizing an abusive situation for what it is and wanting to distance yourself from it. sometimes we best appreciate people from a distance. it gives us perspective, as well as space for when things get too painful. you can't change your father. you can only control your reactions to him and the choices you make. whatever you decide, good luck! if you ever need to talk, feel free to toss me a message. | depression | ys01z |
age 25/195lbs/6ft 5in/white/started prilosec a few days ago. thank you that gave input on my post a few days ago, i have really appreciated it. however i have a question about the side effects of prilosec. i have already done research, and i am aware that it can deplete magnesium levels and other vitamin levels over a long period time. i read complaints of headaches/dizziness/ and most interestingly cognitive changes. you see, i typically have headaches quite frequently, its sort of a burning sensation and the prilosec has helped immensely rather than making them worse. thus i assume the headaches were caused from the constant burning in my gut. now the interesting thing is.. it has effected my mood in the opposite way of which i have read most posts. it isnt exactly causing confusion, or cognitive difficulties.. rather it has improved my mood? i have been feeling very calm, collected, the constant headaches make thinking much clearer. i feel happy, its having almost an anti anxiety/anti depressant effect on me which is the exact opposite of what ive read in its possible side effects. it is not a problem at all, i love it. however im curious as to why it would be effecting me in such a way thats totally different from the norm. yes, i know that everyone experiences different side-effects and no ones body chemistry is the same.. id love some ideas or theories for me to think about. its very interesting and fascinating to me tl;dr: prilosec is lowering my anxiety immensely, improving my ability to think, and causing anti-anxiety/anti-depressive effects. i know this isn't common, what would some possibilities be for these effects? | prilosec acting like an anti-anxiety/anti-depressive? i know that's not common | 8k0jzq | physical discomfort is bad for mood. if you're in less pain, it stands to reason that you'd feel better. it's also commonly the case that physical sensations that mimic the sensations of anxiety, like chest pain/burning or headaches, can act as triggers for anxiety; by cutting off the trigger, you feel better. whatever the mechanism, i'm glad it's working for you! | askdocs | 8k0jzq |
i've been with my therapist for 6 years, after a suicide attempt, and a second one three years ago. she and her staff have been a breath of fresh air. i have bpd, and my symptoms are all but gone thanks to her. two months ago my therapist went on a sudden leave of absence. i was handed over to a different therapist, and found out my current one had a tumor in her pancreas. she's okay, it was removed, it's noncancerous. she came back on monday, and i saw her. as i was in the waiting room, this woman came in, demanding that her appointment with my therapist was at 4:45. that was my appointment slot. the receptionist did everything she could to calm her, while having verbal abuse hurled at her to the point where she was near tears. i was brought in to therapy and the woman was brought into the back office to see someone and hopefully calm down. my therapist immediately apologized to me for being gone for two months. she was sick! she had tumor! but she was so apologetic, and so kind. her phone rang, it was the front desk. the woman was screaming again, and the receptionist was begging for help. my therapist told her she could see her after me, but apparently that wasn't good enough. i told them i would go back out, she could have my slot and i would come in for the slot after. i went out and the receptionist was crying, apologizing to me like they screwed up. i realized just how much they go through, just how much they really work for their patients. both the receptionist and my therapist did nothing but praise me (for not panicking or acting out) and apologize. i realized just how far i've come in handling stress and that feeling of being pushed aside of abandoned (two years ago i would have screamed before i volunteered to swap with someone). and...i want to do something kind for them. but i do not know if it's appropriate for a patient to get staff gifts. i was thinking home made cookies, or flowers. but is that breaking the line between a patient and a doctor (and staff) relationship? i absolutely do not want to be rude, or come across as "too close" by offering gifts, but they really deserve something nice for how far they've helped me come. i can hold down a job now, i can live on my own, i don't scream anymore, i'm not angry anymore. they deserve at least...something. | is it appropriate to get your therapist and their staff gifts? | fa717l | i think something small for the office like flowers or shared food would be very much appreciated. the way you described your gratitude here is very appropriate. gifts typically only become a boundary issue when they are personal or expensive. some practices (or local ethical codes) have dollar limits. | askatherapist | fa717l |
as the title states, i have been married for 4 years and together with my wife for 12. no kids. let's get right into it. **household duties** we did not live together for more than a month before we were married. we bought a house one month before our wedding and, as most houses do, this one required some work. i replaced all of the interior light fixtures, vents, light switches and outlets, ripped out the carpets in every room, hired contractors to do electrical and drywall work, had our fireplace re-done, and pretty much spent most of my waking hours working on turning our house into a beautiful home. i first began to notice the imbalance in our relationship during this time; most of the work being done on the house was by me, and, aside from painting a couple of rooms (which is no small feat), she did not contribute much. i dismissed it and tried not to let it bother me. she works in the operating room and i work in an office, so i respect that my physical energy levels are likely higher than hers when we get home from work. as time went on, i began to notice something: most of her time is spent on the couch watching tv or playing on her phone. day off? couch. home from work? couch. late shift? couch time before work. this is how she was raised; her family's schedule revolves around their dvr. it is very strange, as i am not much of a tv person. tasks that she actually does around the house are washing laundry and putting clean dishes away from the dishwasher. she will occasionally clean the bathroom once every couple of months. aside from that, i do pretty much everything else. on my days off i am deep cleaning the kitchen, doing yard work, washing the cars and scrubbing floors. i take out all of the trash and snow blow on those mornings when we get 10" of snow. as many times as i have tried to explain to her that i want her to take more initiative around the house, she simply won't. i don't mind doing the outside housework, but it is exhausting having to do all of that with the added stress of cooking and cleaning on a daily basis. i can honestly not recall the last time she cooked a meal. she rarely eats dinner, so i am on my own every night to cook and clean up after myself. if she's hungry after sleeping or watching tv all evening, she'll have a bowl of cereal. **sex** one major issue in the relationship is that of sex. as you probably can guess, her libido is much lower than mine. she will not touch herself or masturbate, despises semen, and will not go down on me despite my pleas. she does not initiate and is just very difficult in general when it comes to sex. i have been with her 12 years and we've never 69'd, never had sex outside, and on our honeymoon we probably did it 3 times in a week only after i initiated. this really burns me up because when she was with her previous boyfriend she was always talking about how they always have sex and have tried every position, etc, but has never been that way to me. this past year has pretty much been a dead bedroom (i quit initiating), but before that it was maybe once a week on a weekend morning or afternoon, and maybe once during the week if i was lucky. she is tired during the week and rarely feels like doing anything after work (yet she has the energy to stay up all night watching tv). i have tried to get her to go to bed earlier but she is just far too addicted to television. this affects our sexual life and relationship more than any one single issue, and she refuses to acknowledge it no matter how much i communicate that to her. when she is not in the mood, she is usually ok with giving me a handjob, but blowjobs happen maybe once a year if i am lucky. this year not even on my birthday. i did know this before getting married, but i always thought she would mature a bit and not be so grossed out by semen as time went on. as you can tell, i am quite frustrated with the situation, as we had sex more often before we were married. i am clean, hygienic, and always giving in the bedroom. she is passive, gives me no foreplay, and mostly just lays there. **communication** whenever there is an issue in the relationship (see above) i will bring it up in a gentle manner and ask for her opinion. i always lead with "i feel" comments and am not accusatory. nine times out of ten no matter how i approach the issue, she stonewalls me and nothing is resolved. she is a very poor communicator and would rather ignore problems until i leave the room. earlier this year, i poured my heart out to her about all of this and she listened for maybe 15 minutes, barely gave any input or ideas, and eventually turned away from me and turned on the tv. i feel so very disrespected when this happens. this makes me feel as though my needs are unimportant, and i have told her this. just the other day i asked her if she would please clean the kitchen floor, as it is getting dirty. she told me she cleaned it a month ago and acknowledged that it is overdue. i asked her politely if she would please plan on cooking one meal this week and she put her headphones in and ignored me. i asked her to take them out and she did not. it is rude, childish and disrespectful to me, and i calmly told her so and left the room. i feel like i've given her everything (vacations, a cruise, brand new remodeled bathroom, new tv, nearly all of the housework) and she refuses to give back or work on the relationship. but when i say word one about it or ask her to make any changes, i am stonewalled and actively ignored. as you can imagine, we both want kids but i will not have them until these issues are resolved. i would very much just like to just divorce her at this point because i've tried everything. i fear i will lose my house but have not yet met with a lawyer to see if it is possible to buy her out (i make double what she makes). i get along with her family which makes this so much harder. i regret not living with her before getting married; had i known how she was i most certainly would have not popped the question. but i stupidly feared being judged by my christian family and thought i was doing the right thing. how wrong i was. for those of you that have been in this situation: is divorce worth it? --- **tl;dr**: i love my wife, but she does not contribute to the household, rarely cooks, rarely cleans, will not step out of her comfort zone sexually, and prefers to ignore me and our problems rather than communicate and compromise. i am an enabler and don't know what to do. | wife [32 f] of 4 years is lazy and entitled and i [32 m] am an enabler. is divorce worth it? | 788pvz | always go to marriage counseling before divorce, unless it's severe like abuse or drugs. | relationship_advice | 788pvz |
i am a 40ish year old white male that's 6'1 and 210lbs. no major health issues other than anxiety for all things medical/dental and claustrophobia. i've had that for years - 8-10+ ever since an uncomfortable mri. several years ago i was prescribed 10mg valium by a dr. that knew of the panic attacks i get when facing a medical exam/procedure or the dentist. i also like to take one with me on the rare chance i am in an uber, etc.. but so far, haven't needed it. knowing it is there helps. i keep a log of when i take it and the result (thanks therapy). it took me 34 months to go through 30 - 10mg valium pills. that includes taking one the night before a procedure and the morning of. my wife always drives me. i'm in a conundrum because my therapist just moved away and my dr. retired. i tried to find a new dr. and went for a physical and when everything was ok and i asked about getting a refill he told me he "didn't believe in medication for anxiety" and suggested the church. i'm not going back. i need to find a new dr. but have used my annual physical and am freaking out that i will look like a drug addict when asking for a prescription for valium, which is the only thing i really need at the moment since i just got a clean bill of health. what's the best way to handle this to not look like a raging drug addict and try to build a rapport with someone? i'm not good at these interactions and am confused what to do next - which is causing me to panic. i get really intimidated by these visits and have to take notes to remember what i want to ask, etc... thanks! | best way to find a new dr without looking like a drug addict - stressed out | birm8w | just say what you said here. getting one bad doctor who has boundary issues doesn’t mean all doctors are bad. if you ask for 6 tablets to last you for the next six months it will go a long way to calming your doctor’s anxiety about the prescription. | askdocs | birm8w |
i am in need of some help. i (25f) have an amazing boyfriend (25m) who i've been with for 3 years. we've lived together for about 1.5 years and it goes very well. honestly i feel i lucked out, i'm very satisfied in our relationship. many healthy changes have happened in my life since meeting him, and though we're very different we make a great team. i have what some may call daddy issues. abandonment issues. to summarize my father moved away when i was 5, and has slowly faded out of my life as i have aged. my mother became terminally i'll when i was 15, and after 5 years of ups and downs passed away. my sister and i had a turbulent relationship during this time, trying to balence our responsibilities and social lives. often she could be manipulative, turning my actions on me. i'm sure i was no saint either but trusting her now is hard, as i worry if i show any weakness it will be used against me in times of stress again. my extended family operates in a similar way, i don't want them to know any troubles i have for fear it will be used against me. my partner and i want to buy a house in the coming year. i'm terrified to put my savings on the line in case he splits. i have no idea what he could possibly do to prove he's on my team, it's a problem inside me, i feel. i do go to therapy but my couselor recently left and i've just started with a new one last week. what can i do? | how have you overcome trust issues? | 5qoa1u | everything in life has some risk, because the future's unknowable. if you feel this rel. is as solid as solid can be, you either move forward, or live your life alone. "between grief and nothing, i will take grief" 'faulkner | relationship_advice | 5qoa1u |
i am in the process of finding a new psychologist. a while back, i finally found the perfect fit for me. unfortunately, after weekly sessions for nearly seven years, she had unexpected and sudden health issues that forced her to retire immediately. i am really struggling with this as she has helped me through many things. it is scary to think where i might be now if not for her. i could write a book here, but for now let's try to chip away at some issues that tend to make me shut down... first off, luckily i do well as far as work goes. i work three doubles per week and have four days off. i never miss work and am effective while there. co-workers, customers and managers all love me. on my days off i usually do pretty much nothing. i like to sleep a lot. at the end of the day i tend to feel guilty that i wasted yet another day. i also moved to a tropical island a few years ago, so there is really no excuse to remain indoors all day. in no specific order, here are some things i want to work through so i can lessen the stress and anxiety i feel. 1 i have a ton of clutter in my living space. i have a difficult time throwing things away. i am not quite a hoarder yet, but i am definitely needing to address this issue. i do not know even where to begin with everything. maybe i take an hour a day? do i start by sorting everything then then go from there? a lot of stuff is from past jobs, some stuff may or may not be sentimental. i have random electronic stuff that may or may not be useful at some point. 2 similar to the physical stuff are both computer files and emails. i have tons of them. i know step one is to unsubscribe from mailing lists i no longer find beneficial so i can stop the bleeding. i recently opened a new email account again that does not get spam. i really should go through each old account and forward important emails while deleting ones i no longer need. i probably have around 100,000 emails. some i can search by key word and delete groups at a time without reading, but others i will want to be more thorough. for files, i am considering just saving all important files to a gmail account. for emails, files, and physical clutter, i really need to find out deep down what makes something important enough to keep. 3 i go in phases with projects. movies are one example. when i watch movies, i have to have a system in place. i feel i cannot just watch something for fun. first off, i usually choose a series, or actor, or director. while watching movies i feel the need to rate and review it. even if i post my results, people do not really read it. sometimes on facebook someone may "like" my post, but more than likely they are just liking that i watched the movie and not really reading what i wrote. i enjoy watching movies but writing reviews can be draining. for rating a movie, i sometimes spend too much time on it as well. i mean, why does it even matter what i rate or write in a review? why can't i just watch something to enjoy it and leave it at that? some websites take ratings to suggest new movies to watch, and i really like that feature a lot. however, once i spend time on my movie project, i eventually get burned out and move on to a different project. for movies, i download them. originally i downloaded in 1080p format. however, i later decided to upgrade to remux for perfect quality. as with many projects, once i do it, i go all in. so, i already had 1000s of movies in 1080p. so, it is overwhelming again, individually replacing each film with the remux version. music is similar. i feel i should review/rate but it is more complicated because do i rate based on band? album? song? also, do i include rare albums/songs? songs available on only soundtracks? it hurts my heard just thinking about it. 4 i enjoy eating out. i recently choose themes for food and then eat out at all places in the area that may have good food, then i take pictures, rate and review them on yelp. i am extremely thorough. this can be fun. sometimes expensive. again, i feel the need to make something fun into a project though. 5 i have been exploring the island and making an extensive list of places to check out. i compiled information from books and websites and from people i know into a list. while fun, this is also overwhelming at times. for fun other hobbies i have include fantasy football, karaoke, video games, piano, snorkeling. one of the most important things i need to realize is it is not humanly possible to "complete" any one of these projects to the level i want to, much less all of them. with this being said, i do not know where to go from here. doing things in moderation is challenging for me. for now, i am assuming it is best to set aside a reasonable amount of time every week for some hobbies, as well as for organizing my living space. currently, it would be embarrassing to have visitors over due to the mess. other projects like files and emails are also important but is not as visible to others so they can take a lower priority. i am definitely not happy with my life right now. also, going through my clutter and papers and stuff will remind me of some things in my past that are serious mistakes i made, disappointments i faced, and other emotions and feelings i do not want to experience. same with emails and files. there will be things i do not want to think about. the only things i have been officially diagnosed with are generalized anxiety ongoing and mild depression at times. one person diagnosed me with asperger's but other experts disagreed with that diagnosis and stated they felt those symptoms were more likely due to the difficult upbringing i experienced where there were no social skills and so on. i am assuming perhaps i have ocd due to how i create these projects or is it something else? i also have had addictions to things (gambling, sex). for anyone who took the time to read all of this, thank you so much. any insight will help to reduce my anxiety while attempting to piece together a plan to get my life on track. i know life is too short and we are provided with only so many hours in a day. so, i need to do better with deciding what to keep in my life and what to let go of. i have never been good at letting go of anything. on one positive note, for a few months now, i have forced myself one day per week to get together with a co-worker to explore the island and to eat out at a new place. even on days i do not want to do anything but sleep, i am almost always glad afterwards that we did go do some stuff. that also helps to keep me from getting into too deep of a rut. | overwhelmed with tasks; depression and ocd? | 579814 | seven years of psychology?!? have you seen a psychiatrist, and have you had formal diagnoses of mental health disorders? | mentalhealth | 579814 |
from about the age of about 14/15, i began drinking a large amount of diet soda daily. i kept this up until recently (stopped at 23, am now 24, so it's been a few months at least). i went cold turkey because i knew that i wouldn't be able to stop any other way. in it's place i've been drinking either water, redbush tea, or non-caffeinated diet soda. strangely, i didn't seem to have any withdrawal or notice the effects of caffeine stopping when i stopped drinking it. however, today i drank about 3 glasses of caffeinated diet soda. i suppose that since i was just used to caffeine before, i never actually noticed its affects on me. today though, after my long break, i notice the effects. mind feels like it's working faster, have a stronger focus, etc. the other thing though is that my mood seems to have gone up a lot today. as in, i feel significantly happier. is this also a normal effect of caffeine, or could i could have caused some permanent dependence on caffeine given the amount i took while still developing? tl;dr: took caffeine today after long break, mood feels significantly higher, is this an indicator of a caffeine dependency or normal effect of caffeine? | permanent caffeine dependency? | 8yeeqj | caffeine is a stimulant and that's a pretty normal effect. | askdocs | 8yeeqj |
i went to a psychiatrist because i am hyperactive all the time and thought i had adhd. the doc did a bunch of cognitive tests and evaluations but then she asked if she could draw my blood. i thought this was odd given the context of my appointment but i'm not a doctor so i said "sure". i left the appointment and she told me to come back in 2 days. i arrive to my appointment two days later and the doc says that i don't have adhd, i have bipolar disorder. i was super confused. i am a college student at a good university with a decent social life and decent grades. how could i be bipolar? ​ the doc said that my body is only retaining 40% of the vitamin b it should be. she said this deficiency is rare but i have it. she also told me there is a possibility that this is linked directly to my bipolar disorder. she said that vitamin b12 is essential to the cognitive functions of the brain. ​ is there any validity to this diagnosis? | (mental health: for the doctors of reddit) doc said my body is only retaining 40% of the vitamin b it should be. | a6jy3x | >**1.detailed submissions** > >please be as detailed as possible in your submissions. the more information we have the more we can help. **it is mandatory to include**: age, sex, height, weight, race, duration of complaint, location on body, any diagnosed medical issues, current medications and doses, any recreational drugs, smoking status. include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example). can you be more specific about what test was done and what the result was? b12 deficiency can have neuropsychological effects, but it's a rare problem. that sounds a little bit like a diagnosis of mthfr mutation, but it's not clear. whether you have adhd, bipolar disorder, or something else can't be determined over the internet. it also can't be determined by a blood test, but cognitive testing can be helpful. i'm not sure what she explained or what you understand of bipolar disorder, or why she made the diagnosis, but it is possible to do well in life with the disorder. | askdocs | a6jy3x |
pretty much that. been unmedicated for awhile. i know stupid. had a breakdown. trying to get back on meds. i can only meet before 8am or after 6 pm. i've found a video therapist thing. from my history i need more than therapy. what do people who work full time do? started new job so requesting off is not an option. still in that 90 day period i can just be fired. | finding psychiatrist when working full time | e0akun | psychiatrists and their pills are overrated. dive into psychoanalytic therapy. get to the root. | depression_help | e0akun |
this is a completely serious question about something that's been taking a toll on me lately. i have been diagnosed with bipolar, but i'm not sure if this is related. i am a male. i'm 20, and for some reason my sex drive changes drastically with my moods. sometimes im so turned on i can barely walk around because i feel so aroused and need sex, whereas sometimes i dont want it all. when i am constantly aroused, it's extremely distressing and uncomfortable for me. something as simple as a car drive could turn me on. i dont get it, and im not sure if its related to bipolar or not. has anyone had similar experiences? | does anyone else with bipolar go through periods qhere they are constantly and easily aroused? | 4wdo7s | this is a normal symptom associated with the manic or hypo (low) manic part of bipolar cycling. some people experience an expanded need for sex while others find other appetites switched on such as gambling or shopping. | bipolarreddit | 4wdo7s |
i just meditated to try and get my heart beat to stop pounding in my chest. i can't pinpoint my worry. maybe all the things i have to get done this week for school. and with the online transition and not being sure about having 1 of my part-time jobs still. anyways, does anyone experience that as a symptom of anxiety? not like an irregular heart rate but a pounding feeling. i'm on 10mg lexapro too so i don't know if that should help or if that's just unavoidable when worried in life? also my sleep has started to suck lately. not being on my routine, i find myself sleeping later and sleeping in a little later. but i still get up in the mornings so that's good. | pounding heart beat from anxiety? | fsho8j | your brain interprets the chronic stress as a threat, and begins to get you ready to run or fight. your breathing likely became more rapid and shallow, feeding the process. you may also find yourself more tense, also feeding the cycle | askatherapist | fsho8j |
i'm a college student and i'm working towards a bachelor's in biology, i'm supposed to be applying for nursing school soon but i don't even know if that's what i want to do anymore. i feel like i don't have a strong enough interest in anything to make a career out of it. i've always been the person who does the bare minimum, no sports, no clubs, just going through the motions. i've discovered that i have no passion for anything really. sure i have hobbies like painting, writing, but there is nothing that i could see myself enjoying for the rest of my life. i think what scares me the most is the monotony of it all. if anyone's gone through a similar situation i'd love your advice. | i have no idea what i want to do with my life? | 46in23 | there has to be something in your life that you think "oh yea if i could do that forever, i'd be so happy" what is it? think about it really hard before answering with the response you have taught yourself to answer with in all of those conversations with yourself. | advice | 46in23 |
i've worked at a fortune 500 company as a software engineer for about 10 years now. i'm exhausted with this job. every day is just filled with boredom and monotony. i'm in a management role so i barely even code anymore, but that's not important because i've never liked doing it anyway. i never interact with people, never get a thank you for my work, and just never feel satisfied after my day at work. i make about $140k/yr and i have enough money saved to go through medical school and my wife makes $40k/yr which is plenty to support us and our expenses. i just need to know if it's reasonable or if i can expect to be hired anywhere. i have a bs in electrical engineering and had a 3.7 gpa when i graduated. i am 36 now, so i'd be in my mid-to-late fortys by the time i was finished with all the schooling. i've just always been in love with the idea of being a doctor and helping people get better whether it's cancer or a cold. i dream of either being a general practitioner or an er doctor, but being an er doctor may involve too much death for ~~new~~ me. could i even get a residency at that age? let alone hired by a hospital? what would patients think when they see a 40 year old doctor with a degree from just a few years ago? my wife is very encouraging and supportive and just wants me to be happy so i'm not worried about that. i just want to make sure that i would be able to get hired. | i've been a software engineer for 10 years. i've always wanted to be a doctor. is it possible to switch careers to become one at this point? | 4ydor0 | personally, i think we need more people like you in medicine, those with life experiences (so to speak). in the uk i would definitely recommend trying, but you are in the us and im aware its a whole different culture. listen to the other responders. | askdocs | 4ydor0 |
a month ago something came up and i had to reschedule my appointment with my therapist, but she never got back to me. it's been over a month now, i haven't received any messages from her. i know that she's still working since she told me a lot about how she's doing business at home via video call so i don't think she's just quit her job. at this point, i'm scared to reach out and ask if we can get back into our sessions or if she's more or less just done with me. i just don't know what to do. | therapist is ignoring me | ggq37i | if you canceled the appointment, the ball is in your court . it doesn't sound like your therapist is ignoring you if you have not reached out. i generally do not contact patients, out of respect for their privacy and autonomy. | askatherapist | ggq37i |
i don’t know what to do. i just don’t want to live. when living with bpd, or any illness in general, i feel like the payoff for living isn’t enough. i go through so much shit that i don’t even think it’s worth it. i can’t deal with the constant mood and thought changes. yesterday i was so happy but now i want to kill myself again. what am i going to do with my life? i’m 18 and i expect myself to be running a small business for art and be making money already. i expect so much from myself. i feel like i’m just a waste. i have the talent of drawing but because of my fucking illnesses i can’t do anything except sit and think about how much i suck. i have my whole life ahead of me and am in a better place than some people but i still can’t do anything. i just want to throw the towel in. i’d rather be dead than to live with myself. my only fear is death being worse than living. | just venting. | diil4x | start small. find a job in a similar field. become excellent at making commitments and keeping them. take pride in your ability to fake it till you make it. find a therapist who supports your goals and holds you accountable for your words and actions. begin taking care of a houseplant like an ivy. plants are always there to remind you that you are needed, and you don’t havr to be perfect to give them the love they need. start small, and learn to take pride in your efforts to believe in the actions you take, no matter how small. you need to learn how to trust that you can do things good enough, often enough, to be worthy of trust. much love in your time of challenges 👍 | bpd | diil4x |
i went to one today and only stayed for 45 minutes before running out. which is fine, i consider it a success just for staying that long even if i didn't make it to all the employers i wanted to give resumes to. but i want to know - how do you guys handle job fairs? any tips for not getting overwhelmed by all the people? | how do you handle job fairs? | pokhk | i usually check the list of employers who will be there, and mainly target those employers that i am most interested in. it helps to have an agenda or a focus. it's like the difference between going to the mall and just wandering around, or going with a few particular items to pick up. | socialanxiety | pokhk |
there is this girl that i graduated high school with (both 18) and we have hung out to smoke maybe twice and i’ve seen her at a few parties but we have never really talked. me and her both recently got out of relationships so we hung out, smoked and then did the adult deed. a day or two after she was texting me asking if we were just fuckbuddies or if we were talking etc. and all of her texts have heart emojis and her saying “how cute and funny i am” even though we have literally hung out twice ever and she knows nothing about me i just wanted some consensual sex and it’s not like i wouldn’t want to talk to her it’s just we have never talked about ourselves or anything personal. i don’t want to lead this girl on to think that we are talking but i still want to have sex with her. any thoughts are appreciated | girl liking me help | 8zca5r | the best thing that you can do for the both of you is be honest and straight forward. basically let her know that you're down to hang out like before, but you're not interested in any type of relationship and looking to keep things more casual. so long as you're straight forward with it, it's up to her to decide if she's okay with that or not. the only way you come out being the bad guy here is if you lead her on or aren't clear with your intentions. | socialskills | 8zca5r |
ok so i'm a senior in high school and recently i hooked up with this "popular" guy. now i'm not really popular but this isn't the first time a "popular" guy has shown interest in me at my high school. i sorta have a bad rep and people who don't know me assume i'm a mean girl(something that happened in the past). anyways after hooking up with this guy he didn't talk to me for weeks. we never really talked at all before but i always sorta got this vibe from him that he was trying extra hard not to notice me and i figured he had a thing for me. so back to the story, we hooked up he ignored me and i ignored him and now he wants me to hook up again like a month later and he told me that he "wants me so bad". but the thing is he hasn't told his friends that we hooked up. i would assume that any 18 year old guy would brag about something like this but he hasn't. is it cause he is embarrassed that i'm not "popular" like him? he has no problem talking to the popular girls at school but we never really acknowledge each other at school. i know it was dumb to hook up with him, but can anyone give me some insight into his brain? thanks. | does he even give a shit about me? | 6qyun9 | he has the brain of an 18 yr old | relationship_advice | 6qyun9 |
maybe i'm too sensitive. some things get me and i just can't help it. but when i break down in tears, i expect you to be there. to comfort me and ease me out of it. not to complain about why i didn't say i was feeling like shit before and start a passive-agressive rant. i don't know why i still hope one day you will actually be there, no judging involved. | i just want you to comfort me | 4fk0yp | it is important to be upfront with what we need and what we expect; however we can't be upset when the answer is no. we only have control over what we do and how we react. | offmychest | 4fk0yp |
having the worst day of my life.. i'm in a very dark place and i don't want to do anything stupid. i have highmark ppo blue insurance, anyone know if it'll cost me a shit ton of money? or if there are free psych wards anywhere? | how much would it cost me if i commit myself? | y8dla | signing yourself into a psychiatric hospital is different from being committed. a commitment is made by a judge on the advice of a psychiatrist and psychologist. when you are committed you are made a ward of a state until you are competent again. however- when you are committed, the state pays. your insurance, most likely, should pick up much of the cost for a voluntary admission. | depression | y8dla |
so this is a loooong story, but the tldr is that i used to have an eating disorder where i was scared to death of gaining weight but i did used to have major binges where i eat and then not want to move for fear of getting hungry again :(. these days i surely don’t eat as much because i’m scared to because i’ve convinced myself i’ve lost sensation of my gastrointestinal tract / stomach. like i can’t tell when it stretches or when it’s full or empty so i binge eat and don’t know when to stop aka my worst nightmare. i’ve convinced myself i’ve lost my “soul” because i can no longer feel my gut. is this my brain trying to somehow protect me or play tricks on me or is it possible one of my major binge episodes caused nerve damage so now i can’t feel my stomach? please don’t tell me no one can feel their stomach because you absolutely can feel it stretch when you’ve eaten a lot. additional information: i’ve kind of learned to ignore my body and can’t find it hard to tell what’s going on in there or what i want anymore and i’ve mentioned how this has made me feel depressed. can anyone provide some therapist insight? i’m pretty sure i’ve actually lost sensation of my gut and gut instincts, and it’s very hard for me. i’m scared to get out of bed or walk anywhere unless i know my stomach is empty because it’s just scary knowing you just ate a huge meal and you can’t feel it. thank you very much! | i’ve convinced myself i can’t feel my stomach / gut? disassociation or actually disease. | f50ggx | there is no way i - or anyone else can diagnose you for this type of thing online. if you were my patient, i would recommend a full medical workup and also talk to a therapist trained in eating disorders, given your history. what you are describing does not sound like dissociation . however, somatic disorders (roughly speaking) are when psychological distress is manifested as a physical complaint. this can't be diagnosed online, but since you are open to this physical complaint being psychological, i wanted to mention it. please get checked out in real life ! | askatherapist | f50ggx |
hello! well i just joined the pcos club on thursday. i’ve suspected for quite a while so it wasn’t a shocker. i’m starting on metformin. the doctor told me the number 1 side effect is diarrhea. my job requires a decent amount of driving sometimes in rural areas so i’m trying to figure out what my game plan is. how were your experiences in the first week or so? should i be careful about getting too far from a bathroom? | starting metformin | 9vv075 | when i started i would take it with dinner and usually have a ‘loose’ morning bm but typicality rest of the day. also get the extended release and very gradually step it up. several weeks between upping doses. | pcos | 9vv075 |
hello fellow redditors. i've had a rocky life, leading to an early adulthood full of mental problems and trauma. recently, i've work hard and pulled through most of it, but there's a conclusion that i have come to , and i need your help. i am concerned that i have adhd, or some form of autism; my parents were not wise and did not get me any mental health checkups during childhood, and treated for different-ness with belts and switches. i do know that i most likely have odd (even though adults *don't* have odd, according to *professionals*) b/c i display several of the odd symptoms. i've managed to reel myself in to keep my current relationship steady, and i'm doing generally well with my friends, but this situation is rearing its ugly head at work. basically, as a 26 year old graduate, i don't feel that i need to have direct supervision, and i shouldn't be told what to do with my cell phone and earbuds at my desk, especially when my work gets done, regardless. this along with ridiculous micromanagement and policy changes is causing me to want to drive my car through the manager's desk. so, what do i do to handle this? my psychiatrist says there's a test for autism/adhd but it's a little over 100 dollars, and i feel...that there shouldn't be a paywall for this sort of thing. i mean, much of our american population is disabled in this way, and i feel we should easily be able to get help. thanks for taking the time to read this and comment! | odd in adults? looking for some guidance | 6hfpp8 | if you're willing to go into greater detail about your difficulties, pop over to r/askdocs and a shink like me might be able to give you an opinion on it... | mentalhealth | 6hfpp8 |
i’ve been in a serious monogamous relationship with my girlfriend for almost 4 years now. i’m (24f) and she (23f). we started talking on a dating app and obviously grew close. i’d say for the past 3 years we’ve dated it’s been mostly ups and downs (mostly really bad downs). it started when we moved in together- we decided to move 2 hours away from our families and friends big mistake- and to say the least grew very codependent. there’s been millions of times in the past it should have ended. fast forward to about a month ago- she has moved to a different state. she moved for no other reason than that she wanted to gain more independence and live where she wanted (hates cold weather). i did not go with her because i have family here that i would ultimately regret leaving. there are no dates set and no timeline of living together again it’s all up in the air. we both said we’d give it a shot. it’s only gotten worse between us because i believe she realized that living there was not much different than here minus the scenery. btw this is both of our first real relationships. i don’t know why i hold on and i don’t know why she does either but we both deserve to be happy and we can’t seem to either work it out or just cut ties. also have a really bad problem of double standards- she can be friends with exes and people who openly have interest in her whereas if i want to befriend another lesbian who has somewhat of a crush on me that’s the end of the world and how dare i. as easy as it seems to walk away from something so toxic i’m having an incredibly difficult time ending it. | is it time to break up? | 75l39f | i think being together so long, then her moving, showed the relationship had run its course. there's no place to go now, other than hanging on for some vague possibility of a future. after four years, if folks aren't locked into forever, they never will be. | relationship_advice | 75l39f |
the camouflage: our personalities adjust to the environment. the rapid colors change: our mood swings. just a random thought i had, kind of a cute way to look at it imo. | chameleons somewhat describe bpd | ee41zd | whatever will help us tell the world what we want to say about ourselves. | bpd | ee41zd |
i am currently a college student interested in becoming a therapist, however, i am a person who really values her time, and would not love a job where i have to work all day. is it possible to have a life and still be a therapist? | work life balance as a therapist | g9ajqa | i have really comfortable hours now, but it took a while . i worked 60+ hours a week during internship and post doc and it calmed down from there. | askatherapist | g9ajqa |
i'm an introvert. when i do hang out with other people however, i tend to start saying stupid things without thinking and act weirdly (its almost as if i don't care about what others think). i don't behave like this when i am alone and only start acting like this when i'm around a group of people that i am acquainted with, but this has led to some people disliking me and also make me seem very immature/dumb. it feels like i have a split personality almost, and when i'm alone i start reflecting on what i've done and what i've said and start to cringe like crazy. how do i be more cool headed like when i'm alone and therefore be a more likable person who actually acts like he cares about others when i actually do? is there anybody out there who has the same problems as me? how do i behave like how i want myself to behave? | how to be a more likable person/act more rationally? | 8vorip | often people who are socially isolated have an unmet need to connect with others. many of these people have either a dismissive or an avoidant attachment style. your style of attachment is acquired very young, before you can talk and it usually matches your primary caregivers. attachment regulates our emotions. when you have others who know your feelings and whose feelings are known to you, you are calmer and less reactive. this is the healing, calmative power of love. love is in large part the combination of interest and approval. to better connect with others show interest in them and then show your approval in the good that they do or empathy for the harm that was done to them. as you feel begin to feel accepted you will feel less pressure to be known. | socialskills | 8vorip |
was wondering if anyone could help me. i'm 15, male. i've been depressed, anxious, self harming and suicidal since early august. since then i've had episodes. i can either be severely depressed and have negative thoughts and be non functional, or very happy and productive and the changes happen very fast. it's like two extremes and there isn't a grey area. i also have been hearing voices for the past month or so, but in the past week it's been intense. it sounds like a young woman next to me saying 'kill yourself' or 'you know it's the only way out'. could this be a sign of bipolar disorder? i'm seeing a counsellor and they think it's a voice if given my thoughts but it's gotten extremely intense in the past few days and i'm concerned. these 'episodes' last anywhere from 2 days to a week. i made another post and had a few comments saying it could be schizophrenia or something, but i forgot to mention the massive mood swings. | bipolar disorder | 58shvu | i noticed your other post too. where do you live? you see a counsellor, but do you see any other professionals? what (psychiatric/non-psychiatric) meds are you on, if any? any other medical history? do you smoke/drink alcohol/use any drugs at all? anyone in your family with mental health illness? it could be lots of things actually. im wary of diagnosing you from your posts as it's much better to be careful for someone your age. give us as much info, and ill reply thereafter. edit: noted you are in the uk (england) - how much of this does the gp know? | askdocs | 58shvu |
i’m probably going to voluntarily commit myself tomorrow for my treatment resistant depression. any tips or advice for me? is there anything you wish you had known before? do i need to take out all my piercings? do i bring books or something to keep myself occupied? i hear it can be boring. agh! i feel like i’m going into this totally blind so anything is helpful. | advice on being hospitalized? | epb1tu | i do admissions on an inpatient unit. take out your piercings if you are able to. look up the places' policies on what you can and can't bring. books are a great resource: make sure they are paperback, have no staples, and not excessively mature material. you can ask any questions you'd like. :) | mentalhealth | epb1tu |
the only thing i look forward to is getting fucked up on lsd, mdma and, well, anything i can get my hands on. i also play an unbelievable amount of pc games to escape. the idea of working kills me and schooling is hell. i don't know what i am to do... - i don't want to work for someone else - i want to be constantly fucked up - the only thing i look forward to is being out of a sober mental state | the only thing im looking forward to in life is getting fucked up. i have nothing else, idk | 826wd8 | oh sweetheart. it’s amazing you realize what’s going on—that you’re trying to escape. all of these are avoidance behaviors, as you’ve already noted, but’s it’s seriously good news that you can recognize it! now for some questions that might help you decide how to proceed: do you want to feel better? are you ready to take some tough but necessary steps to break this demoralizing cycle? are you in high school? if so, is there a mental health counselor on campus you can disclose this to? if you’re a college kid, same question. how long have you been doing this? the substances in particular? can you tell your parents? how will they react? what i want you to know is that a lot of the awful feelings you are having are likely either caused or seriously exacerbated by the chemical imbalances you’ve accumulated from the substance abuse. the good news about that is knowing there is relief on the other side, if you decide to quit. the bad news: the longer you keep this up, the harder it will become to quit, and the more difficult the road to recovery. if you think you’re ready—however terrified you feel—please take some steps to get help now. ❤️ | mentalhealth | 826wd8 |
just to clarify at the beginning i’m not trying to be insensitive in the slightest to any eating disorders, i’ve had a friend who struggles with bulimia so i know how hard eating disorders can be. so i’m wondering if it is possible to have a subconscious eating disorder, more specifically subconscious anorexia. i’ve battled with anxiety ever since i’ve been a little kid and it has very much affected my eating patterns; basically whenever i eat i get nauseous and the anxiety triggers a lot of nausea, thus not eating the way i should (we’ve recently figured out it’s anxiety i’ve been struggling with rather than gi issues). my mom also said that when i was a kid maybe seven or eight years old (i’m twenty now) i started developing anorexia and she talked me out of it, since then i’ve had no problem in my mind with weight issues. however, i’ve been quite underweight my whole life, so you can imagine i’m quite skinny. i tend to get made fun of a lot for being so skinny and i’m also allwaayyyssss cold as well and i hate it! i’ve resolved in my head many many times that i’m going to eat more and gain weight and even set up a program on an app to gain weight (which works; when i eat the calorie amount, i can gain about a half a pound a day). but i’ve never gotten past the minimum bmi recommended weight and actually the thought of being a healthy weight makes me nauseous and when i step on the scale and see any triple digits, i immediately get nauseous and then my body suppresses its appetite until i drop down back to the weight i was before and then i get back up a few pounds and it’s a cycle. in my conscious mind, i know i want and need to gain weight but when it comes down to actually gaining it, it’s like my body doesn’t want to. i’m not sure if it’s my anxiety or that i’ve always had that subconscious thought since i was little or what but i’d like to figure out what the cause may be so i figured i’d ask you guys to see if anybody’s ever heard of something like this. thanks so much for your feedback! side note: the last time i weighed myself i had gained a couple pounds and my appetite has been raging lately so i’m assuming i’m gaining weight but i’m doing myself the favor of not stepping on the scale so i don’t trigger my body back into no appetite... seems to be working so far | request: wondering if it is possible to have a subconscious eating disorder | 8ovfct | you might want to read about the term high cognitive dietary restraint - that's kind of similar to a "subclinical" eating disorder. you can also take a quiz to see what your eating attitudes are like - google "eat-26". | eatingdisorders | 8ovfct |
i have recently quit drinking and have about 6 days under my belt. i am new to this, so i have a question: i have no energy. i constantly feel like i could use a nap. and i feel like i’m always hungry and thirsty. has anyone else felt like this? does this go away? i thought i was supposed to have more energy? thanks in advance. i have quit drinking before, but i do t remember feeling this fatigued. could this be something else? i’m 30 and i’ve been drinking and drugging for 15 years off and on. i got a health check in june and they said i was pre-diabetic. how long before that becomes full diabetic? i will make a new doc appointment but i wanted some peoples opinions before. maybe i’m just a hypochondriac!? | sooo tiiirredd! | c1fbv2 | obviously a check up by a doctor should happen, but i was pretty tired at first too. passing out just didn’t constitute real sleep, so it took me a couple weeks before i regained my energy. also important to eat healthy and take some vitamins to get this back (folate, and the other b vitamins especially). good work on your sobriety! | alcoholicsanonymous | c1fbv2 |
i recently learned that there was a name for the way that i was feeling when i regress, as well as it is commonly done by people with bpd (which i was diagnosed with last year), but my mom is trying to convince me that although she sees that i regress, it's not a healthy coping mechanism. ​ most of the research i've done says it's healthy, but i haven't been able to get in touch with my therapist since all the covid-19 stuff to ask. | is age regression healthy? | fqtu9o | in general, something is unhealthy only if it causes problems or distress for you or someone else. this would fully depend on what you are doing and how it impacts your life. | askatherapist | fqtu9o |
i think it's time. my father has been sober for almost 30 years, and always jokes that my "chair is warming". i don't think aa will work for me, because i find the "god stuff" too cringey. i had some drinks last night. it started just to "get energy" to get some yardwork completed after work. i thought that cutting out hard alcohol would change things. i still don't like "drunk me". i grew up attending meetings with my dad, and i've been waiting to hit my "rock bottom". i don't want to wait for that to happen anymore. i'm in a relationship with an amazing woman and i am tired of letting her down. i don't want to lose what i have. so, here i am. i'm not going to drink today. any tips/testimonials for a high functioning atheist alcoholic? toss them my way. thanks for reading this | it's a net loss. | gvqwuw | aa, while very well known, doesn't actually have anything special besides the companionship of others. many other plans are more effective if they contain some of the consistent requirements: some form of continued awareness of your goal, awareness that it's addictive and not a free choice, recognizing what leads back to drinking, planning for avoidance, building non drinking habits that are durable. maybe i missed a few but these are the key points across effective strategies. | stopdrinking | gvqwuw |
i wanted to write a book a long time ago and this idea came to me just a few days ago basically it's about all my problems i had growing up, the bullies, the family fights, and how i ended going to therapy. fixed my relationship with my family and got to college where i'm facing new problems. i kinda want this to be a history of how a kid of 12 yo started facing all this problems and overcome them to be a better person. i want to know if anyone of you will be interested in reading a book like this. or should i keep it to myself, maybe i should write about something else? i really appreciate your opinions. | i'm writing a book about me | gmtjz7 | go ahead and write it! don't worry about if it'll be successful or not. i think it will be a great way to understand yourself and your journey in life and at the end of it, you'll have *written a book*, which is far more than most people can say. i think it's great to take your unique experiences in life and create something lasting and meaningful out of it. | advice | gmtjz7 |
finally dropped everything off at her place a couple weeks ago while she was at work. she left a bag of my stuff with a letter with “please read” on the envelope. i started attending coda, al anon meetings and started seeing a therapist so i’m starting to understand what i was doing was just enabling her alcoholism. it was never gonna to stop no matter how many times i threatened to break up with her (8 times in 8 months). i debated reading the letter, but finally curiosity got the best of me. in short the letter basically blames her drinking on what issues she had with me in our relationship (not showing her enough affection, attention, etc...) which is complete bs. from the first date we went on i knew she had a drinking problem, just didn’t understand how bad it was until we dated for 8 months. my question is do i even bother writing her back trying to point out that she had a drinking problem even when we first met or do i just move on with my life. i’m doing well now that it’s finally over. i’ve blocked her on my phone, email and told her not to drop by my house because she started harassing me about stupid things i didn’t want to deal with anymore. thanks all for the previous advice, got me to where i am today. | any point writing ex back to tell her she has a drinking issue? | d57wh5 | no point. alcoholics will convince themselves anything but the drinking is to blame and no one can convince them otherwise. sorry. | alanon | d57wh5 |