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so i [m17] met this girl [f16] one day when in geography wed a free class and she decided shed sit beside me and chat for a bit. and a few days later added me on sc. we snapped back and fourth for the last 8-10 weeks and we'll sorta take turns starting the conversations. and at the start i just figured she liked me,and i began to like her too. but then in the last 2 weeks. she apparently told a few people that she likes this other guy. which is ok if she did. but what i don't get is,why are we still snapping hard? and why does she still look at me all awkwardly in school? and why when sometimes when we're outside our class,will neither of us talk to one another all awkwardly. but then when i get home. she has no bother snapping me? and it's obvious that she is looking at me aswell. a number of my friends even see her do it? please someone tell me what she is doing?!?!? | does she like me or not?!?!? | 69kt50 | she's snapping with you all the time and then getting shy in person. she may like you and some other dudes. she may give accurate, complete, up to date info to some of her friends or not, and the quality of the info that gets back to you may vary. i am not detecting a master plan. just ask her out. | relationship_advice | 69kt50 |
my employer is a white male, 60 years old, 6 feet tall, and roughly 220 lbs. both of my employer’s parents have dementia and so does his sibling. recently he was talking about having a moment where he could not recall what happened for several hours. he described it as one moment he’s reading at home then all of a sudden he’s driving his car and doesn’t remember anything between. there have been times lately that i have to remind him about a scheduled appointment multiple times and he still gets the dates wrong. could this be dementia? | does my employer have dementia? | e8yw0g | losing track of a discrete period of time doesn't sound like dementia. that could be a seizure, as others have suggested, but seizures don't last hours or involve going from one place to another. that's more consistent with dissociative fugue, a dissatisfying technical term for loss of memory without a clear explanation. losing track of appointments and times could be dementia, but that's also something some people have lifelong problems doing right. if this is a new problem, it's maybe concerning; if he's always been someone who needs to use a planner and calendar (whether or not he reliably does so) it's less worrying. | askdocs | e8yw0g |
i've never found a single place on the internet like this subreddit where i feel as connected with people. the typical "anyone else feel/do this?" threads are interesting. despite the person describing a situation that's different from mine or doing things not as i would do them the underlying behaviour described is more often than not spot on. it's not like yeah i also feel like that kinda but more like constant whoah that's a 100%. ​ but this got me thinking about confirmation bias. in my case i feel like a clear majority of topics here hits home on a fundamental level. like 90%+ level of majority but at the same time is doesn't make us immune of this. my primary concern about this is that i'm wondering if there are any risks around this? do we risk shooting ourselves in the our feet? bah, just by writing this i probably got an answer to my thoughts. even if it's a lot of confirmation bias it probably won't do any harm. if someone find themself here and feel that this fits they can either benefit from all the great tips or maybe go see a professional and get a diagnosis which may or may not be correct so all in all there probably isn't any big danger. unless of course someone starts to watch for "symptoms" and subconsciously starts to develop the patterns but again they will probably see a professional sooner or alter then. going to let the post stay even if i'm happy with this thoughts because i'm curious if anyone else have anything interesting viewpoints. | curious about confirmation bias | auj8ss | for me, there have been posts here and other pieces of info that i have not related with, but there are so many other things that do, and those things tend to be ones that are posted about frequently and are like a big slap in the face that feel pretty undeniable in how accurately they match up with my lived experience. i feel like i’ve been honest with myself in disregarding the things that don’t fit and allowed myself to really connect with the things that do while also getting feedback from both my psychiatrist and my therapist. being aware of confirmation bias like you are doing is a big step in avoiding falling into it. we all have confirmation bias at times and about certain things because that’s just human psychology, but if you’re trying hard to be honest with yourself, you will likely end up with a pretty realistic view of things. | adhd | auj8ss |
i know that i'm just going to hear that i need to practice and it'll come! but it never fucking does. i'm shit in all my classes, just bullshitting them to pass. so i try to focus on my music, but whats even the point if i'm never gonna be good enough to make it anywhere? like music is my degree rn, and i'm useless at it. maybe ill try hanging out with people, socializing used to help! then i realize how shitty and degenerate i really am. all i do is compare myself to everyone else but everyone else is doing so much better than i could dream of. i'm too poor to afford any sort of self medication too so i fucked in that regard. and on top of everything else, at the end of the day i just want to sit down, play a video game and relax. but i cant fucking do that because i'm too fucking childish to enjoy anything. i just get pissed and throw a fucking tantrum because i'm no good at that either. and i have enough self awareness to know that that just makes me an even shittier person. like what kind of useless piece of shit wants to cry because he lost a video game. i'm not suicidal or anything, but god sometimes i wish i were dead | all i want is to just be halfway decent at something for once | 80ewhv | 2 problems that i can see off the bat reading this that might be worth more introspection. 1. you're doing these things for the wrong reason: lets look at music (as i'm a musician too, avid video game player, but let's stick with music for now) whether you completely suck and are picking up an instrument for the first time or you're a virtuoso, music should be fun and enjoyable. if you enjoy what you're doing and the process of working to get better, you will and you'll be happy for it. if your main reason for playing is "to get really good" than you will neither enjoy it or get really good. 2. the next is the ruler to which you decide to measure yourself. whether it be music or video games or whatever, no matter how good you get, there are always going to be people both much better than you and much worse than you. if you have the mindset of "if i just got beat or i see somebody i'm not as good as so i must suck" you'll never be happy or have the motivation to get better. lastly, practicing upping your frustration tolerance is going to go a long way in helping you. unless you're pre-teen, you shouldn't be throwing controllers, yelling, or crying about a video game. i would suggest talking to a therapist and/or psychiatrist about what's going on for you. it's also possible that you may suffer from undiagnosed add which could be contributing. the inability to stay focused on a goal and propensity to seek escape through video games may be an indicator of this. hope this helps! [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | depression | 80ewhv |
bf of over a year says he feels confused about us. he says doesn't want to breakup but his feelings about us aren't cut and dry and if this feeling doesn't pass then it's best if we breakup. i'm not sure what to think or how to handle this as he's still so cuddly and loving. he says he loves me, but his actions don't match his words.i have created some drama in the relationship and he says his feelings are likely a product of that. i have been working on it though. advice? | boyfriend is confused? | 6wjqjc | you deserve to be with someone who is not confused about his feelings for you. someone who unequivocally, without a shadow of a doubt, wants to be with you. go find him. | relationship_advice | 6wjqjc |
what resources are out there? i have been searching online and i came across a lot of therapist in the area but i am unsure if they are the ones i am looking for. i guess you could say i self diagnosed myself but i am not completely sure. i feel as if i have gynophobia (fear of women) and/or anthropophobia. how do i seek specific therapist for these issues? or do i see a psychiatrist first that then can help diagnose me? or should i just look for a cbt therapist? i am new to this whole therapy thing and finally realizing that i really need it. 2017 i want to start going to continuous therapy/counseling so i want to get the ball rolling now. could you guys give me some recommendations on what to look for, where to look for therapist, how to find one that fits me, how to find one that works on the the problems i am dealing with? | where can i find local therapist/counselors? i have never gotten therapy before, now i want/need it | 5jp7my | i'm not sure what psychology.com is, i'm not terribly familiar with it. but, WEBLINK is generally considered the best starting place to identify a counselor. | mentalhealth | 5jp7my |
long story short, 1st time having sex w/ my gf(17). i pulled out before ejaculate but she still took plan b within 1 hour in fear of precum. 6 days later she got a (to my knowledge) withdrawal bleeding, i believe this is because of plan b because her period is not due until more than 2 weeks after. finally she got her period, about more than a week late, 4 weeks after the planb-bleeding. she already took a test 3 and 4 weeks after the risky sex, negative result. does this mean we're safe ? any reply is much appreciated, especially if from a doctor or medical student. thank you. | question regarding plan b and pregnancy | 77d0ff | negative pregnancy tests are reassuring, i think. | askdocs | 77d0ff |
i'm a 28 year old female who is ultimately looking for a serious, long-term, monogamous relationship. this is my ultimate goal, i'm not in a hurry for this to to happen right away. about 6 weeks ago i met a man (age 27) who i've taken quite a liking to. in one of our initial conversations, he said that we was seeing multiple people and wasn't looking for a romantic relationship. there was some miscommunication, and i later realized that he was already in an open relationship. we've gone out so far five times. he is great. i feel completely comfortable around him, i can tell him anything without judgement or awkwardness. i trust him completely, as he's been totally honest from the start. he's intelligent, affable, and interesting. we get along wonderfully, things are effortless and the sex is pretty good. i'm concerned that, because there seems to be no downside to this, i'll end up falling for him and getting hurt. how do i keep myself from catching feelings? note; i do not want to stop seeing him. i'm not questioning whether or not to continue seeing him. i'm only asking how to keep cupid and his stupid arrow away from us. eta- he has only been with his primary partner for about three months. | how to not get attached to someone in an open relationship | 63v1cy | it's the same thing. we can't not feel what we feel. if you're falling for a polygamous guy, it will end badly for you. if you figure out how to stop cupid's arrow, you'll be a zillionaire. | relationship_advice | 63v1cy |
i have hit a nudge in my life and i am pretty stagnant right now. i am search for my passion, career and what i want to do in life. now for the past couple months i've kinda just sat at home. so i am hoping that if i take a couple personality test or career test, it will give me a path/direction to possibly explore; because that's what i am searching for now. i know online you can take a bunch of these free career assessments, personality assessments, etc. i have heard that a lot of the more legit, accurate ones need to actually be administered by a psychiatrist. so, where can i go to take these test in person? i realize they are very long and i also want to take them seriously | where can i take legit personality test in-person? | 5jmua5 | ok, so the other comment is not correct. there are many personality tests that have evidence supporting that they tend to accurately identify personality traits. i'm not sure, based on what little you've said, that that would be much assistance to you. career assessments on the other hand are much more directly useful, and probably cheaper since they do not require a psychologist to administer them. your first and best bet would be to contact a career center at a local university to see if they would offer services to non-students (unless you are a university student). next, any competent counselor should be able to help with career counseling which will certainly include the use of assessments on interests, skills, abilities, and so on. | mentalhealth | 5jmua5 |
i am a 28 year old female who fell down a staircase at work two weeks ago. i landed painfully on my back (under the shoulder blades) and hurt my elbow. to make sure there was nothing broken i went to the hospital right away. they examined me, made a set of x-rays and an ultrasound. the doctor said the scans were clear and i was free to go. i was in a good amount of pain for three days, which became better with time. four days later i was able to work my regular shift (bartending) and now my only complaints are when lying down directly on the bruise. ten days after all this happened the hospital called me to come in again. apparently my scans weren't as clear as they thought. i made another appointment and came in again. the doctor said there was a fine line visible on one of my vertebra. he gave my a fifteen second exam which consisted of him hitting me with the side of his hand against my back and asking if anything hurt. it wasn't painful. he then told me they would like to make a ct scan to be absolutely sure. i asked what would happen if they found something and he said there probably was no invasive treatment necessary. the would probably order a few sessions of physiotherapy. i walked out of there and got an appointment for a ct for tomorrow. back at home i realized that i mixed up ct and mrt, as i thought the latter was the one with radiation exposure. and now i'm wondering if my fall really warrants a ct two weeks after? is the exposure to radiation necessary, if the treatment will be "only" physiotherapy? this all happened in germany and since it was a workplace accident there is a special kind of insurance in place, which pays for basically everything immediately. this makes me worry that the procedure might be unnecessary for my well-being but seeing as it is paid for in full, the hospital might be making money out of it. i have no known illnesses, never broke a bone before and am taking no medication. | had a fall two weeks ago - do i really need a ct now? | 8edkjc | i can't say whether the ct is necessary or not, or even if it's helpful or not. what i can say something about is radiation. a ct is effectively a bunch of x\-rays, which does have theoretical risk of increasing cancers. a ct spine generally exposes you to about as much radiation as something like a few years' background radiation, i believe. would i undergo a ct for no reason? no, that's low risk for no benefit. would i undergo a ct for a reason? i have, multiple times. it does seem worthwhile to ask more. if the worst case scenario is needing physiotherapy, how necessary would it be? if not very, would you still do it? if you wouldn't do it, why get the scan done in the first place if it won't change anything about what you do? | askdocs | 8edkjc |
i have been in an ldr for over two years and we are finally going to close the distance to my state. he doesn't usually go out at all (maybe once every two weeks) , but lately he's been going out a lot! (4 times in one week!) it gave me anxiety. should i be worried or let it go? | ldr bf going out, is it okay? | 68tgcf | you either trust or you don't | relationship_advice | 68tgcf |
required info: age: 19; height: 6’3”; weight: 205; gender: male quick question about tobacco. i don’t smoke cigarettes and i don’t dip or anything. my only tobacco use is either a cigar on super special occasions, or in a moke or backwoods blunt, so with a little weed, and weed use is maybe 3-4 times a month, so this is half that. how bad is that? | general question, but how bad is a little tobacco here and there? | 8whiue | i don't know of good studies on occasional smokers, but a rough estimate of risk would be taking the risks of a daily smoker and dividing it by the amount that you smoke. so it's not zero risk, but it's much lower risk. | askdocs | 8whiue |
so for background they dated for pretty much the whole of 2017. she was his first love (he was 23 then, she was about 19 or so i think). he’s not had many relationships, he mostly slept around a lot rather than have a relationship hence the later age. there’s only been 2 girls before me and he’s still friends with this one. not close by any means, but they share the same friend group so still have contact occasionally. they went to uni together and that’s why they have a shared group. one of his housemates girlfriends is best friends with her. i’ve met her in passing a while ago and we were friendly but didn’t really speak so i haven’t really formed an opinion of her. they’re planning to have a house party in the coming weeks if lockdown has eased even more, if not it’ll be postponed, but one of the girls invited her. the girls were planning to go in a separate room so we can have a girls night type of thing and leave the boys to do their own thing. at first i was fine about this, after all they’re just friends now and i really believe it’s just that. she also is in a new relationship. i thought it would probably be a little uncomfortable for both of us but that we’d get over it and it’d be fine. after all i’ll probably see a lot more of her so i don’t want any drama. however, today all i can do is ruminate on this. i’m fucking terrified all of a sudden. i keep comparing myself to her. i’ve fallen into a really depressive mood and all i can think is ‘but he used to love her, he still cares about her, he had sex with her for a full year’ and loads of other thoughts like that. as i said earlier, my boyfriend has had a lot of casual sex in the past and his friends always make jokes that he loves girls with daddy issues (as in, submissive because he loves being dominant in the bedroom) and... well i have a fuck ton of other issues i guess but i’m also more dominant than submissive and so we, at the moment, have been having more ‘normal’ sex (still kinda kinky i guess but our normal). this bothers me a lot because he has all the toys and ropes etc. for being dominant but never really uses them on me. we keep saying we will but never get round to it. when we’ve talked about it he says it’s because we’re so attracted to each other that we just jump into sex instead of taking time to do all that, which is kinda true. but idk, i feel so inadequate. i feel like he probably had all this type of sex with her and i’m just boring in comparison. or even in comparison with the other girls (a whole other problem i’m having lol). i’m overweight but curvy and have an hourglass figure. she’s also overweight but now i’m like ‘oh god i need to try and lose weight in the next few weeks to be better than her’ and just all these stupid thoughts and feelings. i want to be the best. i have to be the best. it’s fucking exhausting all the time. i just wanna be loved the most. bf and i spoke recently about his exes (before all this came up) and he said the two people he loved before me (including her obvs) he still ‘loves’ as in ‘cares deeply’ for. he isn’t in love with them or have romantic thoughts or feelings for them but wants them to be happy and wishes them the best.... i actually understand what he’s saying with this. i feel the same way about my exes, but hearing him actually say it about his cut me. it’s kinda like all i can think about rn. idk where i’m going with this. i kinda wanted to get it off my chest but also kinda was after some advice if anyone has any? it’s a new and weird situation for me, i also don’t know how i’ll react seeing them actually talking to each other face to face (i’m extremely jealous and get insecure any time a female speaks to him though i do my best to rationalise and keep it to myself if it’s a friend but it’s damn hard). if i detect even a faint bit of flirting (or even banter) i know i probably won’t react very well and the whole thing is giving me extreme anxiety. i don’t want to kick off or have an episode. i’m so scared. | my boyfriend is friends with his ex/first love and she’s going to be at an event we will be at soon...... | hacb8z | do you have a therapist you can talk this out with? i'd suggest that's a good person to do that with because unless you have reason to suspect anything it is all insecurity. he obviously is dating you, he wouldn't be dating you if he didn't want to be. they would still be together if there was a reason for that. an ex is an ex for a reason | bpd | hacb8z |
when i (adult male) get home from work i'm exhausted and sleep for a few hours. then i'm wide awake and can't fall asleep again for a while. after my second sleep i get up for work. is that a problem? my schedule looks something like this: 6am wake up for work. 6pm get home from work and sleep. 9pm wake up. 2am sleep again. i have sleep apnea if that matters. | is it bad to not sleep though the night, but sleep in two shifts instead? | 8y0r66 | as long as you feel well rested and don't feel tired during the day you're sleeping well for you. that's the only standard that matters. there are many beliefs about how to sleep optimally and what is natural for humans but very little science to back it. | askdocs | 8y0r66 |
i apologize profusely if this is in the wrong subreddit. i would like to know how can you mental prepare for a relationship coming to an end. this is my first relationship and it has been going pretty strong for almost a year. i think he is bagging away. i've dealt with depression in the past. | how to prepare for potential breakup? | 693sr3 | see friends, exercise, do what brings you happiness. will be useful whether or not it all goes to hell. | relationship_advice | 693sr3 |
male 19 doesn’t smoke, no medications, no known medical conditions. several years ago when i was 19 i had an issue which was described by my father (paramedic of 25+ years) and first responders as a seizure. i had to be sedated for and flown to the closest hospital for being combative when they attempted to put me on a body board. after more than a few tests the doctors could find no sign of this and said that i never had one. the one thing that bothers me is i have no memory from probably 15 minutes before it happened until i woke up in the hospital 4-5 hours later intubated. what could cause this memory loss? do seizures usually cause this? | memory loss | 8me0rk | there aren't necessarily definite signs of a seizure before or after the seizure. there could be a number of causes for not remembering. it could be that it was a seizure. it also could be syncope, which involves non\-epileptic loss of consciousness and you could also not remember. or it could be the anesthesia causing a small amount of retrograde amnesia. it's impossible to say without the full details and probably very hard to say even with the full medical record and your father's description of the events. | askdocs | 8me0rk |
**age**: 25 **sex**: female **height**: 5'1'' **weight**: 100lbs lost 15 pounds after most recent seizure spell) **race**: white **primary complaint**: seizures. i have had around 15 to 20 in my life. i get seizures about once or twice a year that look exactly like a grand-mal seizure. about 5 seconds before i have a seizure, i get the same feeling/sensations. my sense of time becomes odd and slow (very hard to explain), i feel floaty and loose my hearing/vision. i am usually able to say something like "i'm going to pass out" or "help." i then black out and have no memory of the events after. i am told that i then drop to the ground, my body stiffens up and i shake. my eyes roll in the back of my head, mouth opens and closes and face contorts. my seizures last anywhere from 10 to 30 seconds. as i am coming to, i feel an oddly intense feeling of calm and as if i'm waking from a odd distorted yet serene dream. i open my eyes and am able to follow what people are saying to me. i often vomit when i wake up and feel cold, nauseous and have a headache. i feel disoriented, am very emotional (moving from sad, to fearful to happy), feel floaty and am exhausted for about a day or two following. i've had seizures seated, standing, walking, eating, watching tv, laying down, in the mall, a vet's office...you get my point, in every and all situation. **duration of complaint**: 18 years i had my first seizure at the age of 7 in a doctor's office. my teacher asked me to get a hearing test done because i was not paying attention in class. this was out of character for me because i was always a very shy and studious student. since then, i get a seizure of two a year. i went four years without a seizure up until fall of 2019 and then had two seizures within a month of each other. i went to the er both times as i was the most disoriented i had ever been and those witnessing event were incredibly concerned for me. i was not aware enough to refuse/request medical attention. since fall 2019, my health has declined. i am constantly exhausted, as i wake up with a headache and sleep very poorly. i frequently feel as if i'm about to have a seizure throughout the day. i'm unable to drive or bike, which has resulted in me loosing my job. **existing medical issues:** ptsd (from childhood abuse/trauma), asthma (i've grown out of it though), mother was on anti-psychotics when she was pregnant with me and doctors were concerned about outcome, chronic headaches, poor sleep **current medication:** fluoxetine (30mg) for ptsd symptoms my seizures have never been diagnosed because of a neglectful family situation/brainwashing from parental figures to believe that my seizures were on purpose and "for attention." i did have tests at age 7 when hospitalised after my first seizure and my eeg, mri and blood tests all came back normal. my family refused to follow up on any tests. i had those tests done again this last fall, plus a sleep deprived eeg and halter monitor. all normal. i'm honestly at my wits end. my pcp, neurologist, cardiologist (ruled out pots or any heart issues) and psychiatrist have been unable to diagnose or treat me. i honestly don't know where to go from here. should i get second opinions? is there something i'm missing? any and all information is much appreciated. i'm really at my wits end here. | i (25f) have been getting seizures since the age of 7 and still don't have a diagnosis or any treatment options! | g5g489 | there are two possibilities: these are epileptic seizures, and even if infrequent should be treated with antiepileptics/anticonvulsants/anti-seizure medication, or they are non-epileptic seizures and such medication would not help. the only way to distinguish is by capturing one, but very infrequent seizures can be challenging because it's hard to capture them with eeg or, even better, video eeg. you don't mention being on or previously taking antiepileptic medications. have you gotten an explanation for why no trial to see if it can help? | askdocs | g5g489 |
this is the first serious relationship i've been in. we've been together for almost a year now. and we're kind of growing apart. we've discussed it, and she just feels like we've been having the same conversation for months now. she says that she wants to talk to someone who doesn't know every detail about her life and who will ask her meaningful questions to make her think. i just wanted some advice on how i could turn things around for us. i guess maybe how to spice up our conversations so she doesn't feel like she needs to go to someone else to have a good conversation. any and all serious advice will be greatly appreciated. | i need help/advice about my girlfriend. this is my first serious relationship i've been in and i feel like we're coming apart. | 2tql15 | go experience new things together. hang out in groups of other people. broaden your hobbies and social activities both individually and as a couple. this will give you plenty of new things to talk about. i don't have the study, but i seem to remember reading that sharing new experiences is one of the main things that keeps relationships thriving. | relationship_advice | 2tql15 |
haven’t received my meds yet so i won’t be long lol and i don’t promise you any reply either (even though i would really love to chat with every one of you). what i do promise you though is regretting the very essence of this post: i mean, i would have given everything to have a neurotypical brain, but given that i have adhd, doesn’t this deserve a celebration? that’s how i felt, so i was on my way to throw the biggest party ever but then remembered that i have no friends lol. and finally, to all of you hard-working mind blowing smart-ass geniuses out there: i love you! you were my second family from day 1, but i just felt like an intruder back then :/ | a diagnosis celebration | bpepex | i definitely understand the celebration. i've struggled with mental health issues throughout my whole life. despite being a therapist, i never considered that a lot of it had to do with undiagnosed and unmedicated adhd. i took some recreationally with friends while at a party. had the complete opposite effect on me as it did on them. they got hyped up, i got calmed down. they wanted to drink more, i for one of the first times in my life felt like i had a firm understanding of my limit. i didn't feel like i wanted to smoke cigarettes any more, and the old timey auctioneer of my inner monologue slowed to a normal pace. i walked home that night realizing i actually have adhd and cried because i realized what i thought was normal for over 30 years wasn't normal at all and that now i'd have a chance at some of that! so.... all of that to say, i understand where you're at! congrats! | adhd | bpepex |
it's like that for at least a year (but i think it's actually more than 4 years. i have always seen it as a normal thing, i started observing it just a few months back). i feel nervous every single day often for hours, without any reason, just out of the blue. also, every little thing can make me feel nervous. it's absolutely totally uncomfortable feeling. i would almost say it's anxiety, but i don't experience 80% of the symptoms so it can't be that. does anyone have any clue, at least a hint about what is happening? (i can't even google it; when i search up "being nervous all the time" every result is about anxiety, which, as i said, is very unlikely that i have). age+sex: 15m height: 185cm / 6'1 weight: 67kg / 148lb race: white duration: 4 years medications: none no smoking, drinking or drugging | why do i feel nervous every day without any cause? | f4h1fi | let me just say this - the amount of energy that you are putting into worrying about whether you have anxiety and whether you are exaggerating or not - suggests anxiety. so does the amount of worrying you are doing about going to see a doctor to talk about the possibility of anxiety. all of those things are potentially manifestations of anxiety. there can be physical causes of nervousness for sure - but whether or not there is a physical cause, it is a real problem that needs to be dealt with. you will be far less miserable once you get it taken care of. | askdocs | f4h1fi |
i don't know where to post this, but i'm so worried for my fried. yesterday he came to me and told me that 3 guys were spying on him for over a month. i know the 3 person he is talking about, one of them called me and is terrified because my friend went over to his house and was really angry and told him to stop spying on him. the guy was so shocked and had no words, he had nothing to do with this. yesterday me and two friends went over to see if there was anything. he was constantly hearing voices and we heard nothing. he was quoting what the "spys" were saying. and we were shocked because it was 11 am 1 of january and nobody was outside. he got really angry and tought we were screwing around with him. he said he heard them having a conversation that his uncle had hired them to spy on him to see if he was taking some drugs, because he had been a little bit lazy at work lately. his family has a building construction company wich he works for. he used to smoke some weed, but the last month he has been clean and really weird. he has been alot alone. he said that he knows how it sounds like, and was afraid to tell us because we might think he is crazy. i believed everything he said until i went over and saw nobody and heard nothing, and he was hearing sounds and checking around. for the moment he trust nobody and even think his mother, brother and father are spying on him. we don't know how to approach the situation, because if he finds out we don't belive him, he will shut us completely out of his life and go mental | [help] my friend is hearing voices in his head? what should i do? | 5lngsl | how old is he? where is he based? are you sure he's not using any drugs at all (even the newer synthetic stuff)? | askdocs | 5lngsl |
hi. this may not seem as important as some of the other post on here but it is troubleing me. so i live at he with my parents and there is something my mother really wants and needs. for a while i had been planning on getting it for her. i have a small job and don't make a lot of money and have been waiting on this paycheck for a while now. but here comes my delema i recently received news i would be doing more work in the company i work for. doing that work would be so much better if i had a tablet which is coincidentally the same price as the thing for my mom. so now i don't know what to do i don't know why it's bothering me so much. i guess i don't want to be selfish 😔 i don't really know any advice? p.s.// sorry for the bad grammar/english i don't speak it well | buy expensive thing for me or my mom? | cnwfs7 | how long would it take you to save up for both? you could buy one now, one later. | advice | cnwfs7 |
i said thanks bro for coming to pickup the cabinets i didn't want... | what does it mean when a guy winks at you when you are also a guy? | 8pluiz | winking is strange and really does kind of vary culture to culture. it could mean the person likes you, but more often than not it's probably an acknowledgement of a joke. sounds like the latter is the case given what you said. | socialskills | 8pluiz |
my boyfriend and i have been dating for 8 months now, he has never been the type to ever compliment me on my appearance or anything at all really (i am what people would consider pretty, saying this to give insight that i'm not a troll or anything). this might seem a little superficial to some but it's only normal to want to feel sexy and beautiful to your significant other and have found myself feeling less and less desirable over time, not even putting effort into my looks because i never get a positive reaction when i do put in the effort. i used to get super upset about this (crying close to every night) because i just felt terrible and unwanted compared to other relationships where i can really tell that the guy is into me and i just never can tell how he feels towards me through the blank way he looks at me to the rare physicial affection (him kissing me not me kissing him and him kissing back if that makes sense). he says he loves me and thinks i'm cute but i just can't seem to believe it whole heartedly because of the lack of background support like him initiating romantic acts, or any of the 5 languages of love really. i am really in love with him and he is just one of a kind, i don't want to have to break up with him due to feeling this way. any ideas about how i can reboost my confidence and even feel sexy around him? tl;dr boyfriend doesn't show affection and makes me feel very lackluster, want to feel beautiful around him. | any ideas on how i (17/f) can feel beautiful and sexy when my boyfriend (19/m) makes me feel undesirable? | 65v59r | if he makes you feel that way i would end it! | relationship_advice | 65v59r |
i am a male (23) and i recently broke up with my girlfriend (23) of just over 3 years because i began to realize that at my age, my focus is just elsewhere - that being my work. she is an amazing girl and i truly love her to death but i just felt i was being unfair to her by staying with her even though my mind is constantly elsewhere. i knew that if we broke up it would kill her so i never pulled the trigger until the other day. i honestly feel liberated but it hurts me knowing the pain i am causing her - so much so that i question if this was the right choice. she is the perfect girl for me in many ways but i can't be the boyfriend she deserves at this time in my life. i know that i can love her again once my life is in order but i didn't want to deprive myself of certain life experiences by maintaining a relationship essentially "on hold" and i didn't want to deprive her of a fulfilling relationship she deserves. i hope one day down the line we can work things out again but i'm worried the pain i am causing her might be too much. so i ask, is it ever the right choice to stay with someone for the sake of not hurting them? in my case so that we can have a future together, even if in present time and foreseeable our relationship is not exactly healthy. | is it ever the right choice to stay with someone for the sake of not hurting them? | 6koujm | only if you're mother teresa. you're entitled to be a total altruist if you choose. but most are not self sacrificing. | relationship_advice | 6koujm |
so i met this girl around 2 years ago, we just now decided to do something about it. although we have always been intimate it wasn't a constant relationship more of a fling. i try talking to her but most of the time i either receive an ok or yes, or some type of emoji for an answer, most of the time i have to make conversation just to talk. she lives close by but has her dads house next to mine and that is how we met. she told me that she wanted to be with me but that she couldnt, and after i expressed that i would do anything including talking to her dad about it she accepted it although when talking about it she mentioned to keep it quite between us and the people who knew already. i did not think much of it and i'm probably overreacting but i just can't figure out if she truly wants to be with me or she said it just to be nice, keep in my that i'm 4 years older, 20 and she's 16. i don't know how this will be received but if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate it. ps i should also mention that the night she told me that she wanted to be with me she also told me that if i found someone that made me happier to go for, to which i replied the same thing. and yesterday i clarified that i was not going to go around going out with girls. that it would only happen if it occurred naturally. | don't know what to do (advice) | 6tmola | in some places, the age of consent is 18 | relationship_advice | 6tmola |
so after finding out that my wife(27f) cheated on me(27m) when we were dating a few years back i've come to the decision to end things with her. the plan is to have her out of the house by june and start our "separation agreement". i think legally i can't have sex with anyone else while still in the one year of separation but i mean, who would know? is it better to be alone that whole time or should i actively search for a new partner? i feel like my confidence is up and i have the "swagger" to be on top of my game and would hate to wait a year when it would have been so long since i was last romantic. what worked for you? | those of you who left a marriage, what did you do after? | 68xqhw | check with your lawyer. i think it's ok to have sex. if you're 100% over her, it's ok to start dating. if you're not, i'd wait a while. | relationship_advice | 68xqhw |
i've always been an advocate of therapy. if any of my friends or family were going through persistent hard times or sadness, i would recommend talking to a professional. i've only ever had good experiences, and i really thought it couldn't hurt. my stance on this has changed recently. i'm in the process of looking for a new therapist, and in my area it's hard to find one available after my work hours. i suffer from anxiety and depression, and i was looking for a person i could speak to in order to gain a more positive perspective - to not feel like i'm doomed for failure, to be more okay with not knowing or having control over everything, to be able to trust in myself and my abilities, and in my friends and loved ones, and to make the kind of changes i feel are long overdue... the strength to make that leap of faith and believe that things will work out in the end. maybe not quite that positive, but i wanted to not be crippled with panic over something i feel anxious about. during my evaluation, the person went through the plan i planned on carrying out in the near future, step by step, and went through all the negative, worst-case-scenario what-ifs. the person questioned every decision i planned. the person questioned a lot of decisions i made in the past, and also the way i live my life right now. all of these negative things are things i've thought about before, being that i am someone who struggles with anxiety and depression. what this person said made sense, but it added another negative voice in my head - one that's supposed to be unbiased and honest and offer me a grounding perspective. all of this took place in the span of 50 minutes. of course, there was more to the session than this. i'm sure whatever method was being used on me, might work for someone else, but it definitely didn't in my case. i thanked the person, and left the building, and had a panic attack (it's been some months since my last one). i just wanted to share my recent experience, as i noticed a lot of posters here wonder if they should see someone, or many commenters suggest therapy. i still would definitely recommend seeking professional help as an option for anyone who feels they might need it or even if they just want someone to talk to. but i also think it's worth mentioning that finding a good fit with a therapist is not easy. tldr: therapist employed tough-love (maybe?) and cut the anxious and depressed patient down by being a negative sound-board, and never brought the patient back up again. patient proceeded to become a panic-induced puddle of tears, and self medicated with taco bell. | terrible therapy session was a big eye-opener | 4h0wxd | that's terrible to hear that that happened to you. i hope you can find someone else to work with that you get along better with. | mentalhealth | 4h0wxd |
forgive me if i am writing this in the wrong subreddit, i am new to this. if it is in the wrong one, please tell me where to post. i am female, 22 years old, 5ft7, weigh 140lbs. i don't take any medications. do not drink or smoke. no serious medical issues. i have a persistent cough from a chest infection from two months ago. i also get heart palpitations sometimes. i suffer with anxiety and excessive sweating however, so i get very nervous and very sweaty in certain situations. i have my driving test coming up and i get extremely anxious when driving under pressure and i get sweaty palms so i will take a kalms tablet like an hour or so before the test. i was wondering if anyone else has taken one before their driving test and if it helped? is it safe for me to take considering i get heart palpitations? i have had them checked out at the cardiologist and he put it down to anxiety. does kalms make a big difference? i have never taken one before, so i don't know how i'll react to it on me on my test. but my main question is, i was also wondering if i can have a coffee in the morning, then take the kalms right after? would the caffeine affect it in any way? i need a coffee in the morning to function and my test is in the morning. kalms is a stress relieving tablet made from herbal remedies, and is supposed to be natural. | can you take a kalms tablet after consuming caffeine? | cq0oh1 | kalms pills contain an assortment of herbs. from what i can tell, none have any evidence of being effective for anything in particular. there's no reason you couldn't take it after coffee, but there's also no reason to expect it to do anything, with or without coffee. my advice would be to save your money. | askdocs | cq0oh1 |
i’m a smoker male. | is 17.6 g/dl (110%) hemoglobin reflects something serious? | h9mqoo | please be as detailed as possible in your submissions. the more information we have the more we can help. it is **mandatory** to include: age and sex (please write as [year][sex], e.g. 18m), height, weight, race, primary complaint, duration, any existing medical issues, current medications and doses, and whether you drink, smoke, and/or use recreational drugs. for all other visible issues, particularly dermatological, a photograph is not required, but always helpful. | askdocs | h9mqoo |
it seems in my community of friends 2012 has been the year of countless marriage proposals, engagement parties and weddings. what i want to know is how the heck are all of these people finding their match and more importantly making it run so smoothly up to a marriage proposal? i can't keep a guy interested in me for more than a year. it really baffles me to see guys so madly in love with a girl bc i absolutely can't imagine someone feeling that way about me. do some girls just have better game than others? and what are they doing? bc my problem isn't looks or brains.... | people make finding "the one" seem so damn easy.. | zaeir | as someone in what other people probably see as "the one" kind of relationship, let me tell you that finding "the one" is actually a matter of finding someone who is *compatible with you* and then working your ass off to communicate, treat each other well, and keep things interesting. what does this mean for you? keep dating--but stop waiting for "the one". | relationship_advice | zaeir |
what kind of things should i know? naturally, i'm pretty nervous edit: seems to have gone pretty well, i was largely open and guy didn't seem to judge me at all | i'm going to a counselor for the first time today | 4tllec | therapist here. i wouldn't expect too much from the first session. mostly initial sessions focus on building a relationship and understanding the problem. he or she will guide you with questions. if you are nervous say you are nervous. if you don't know what to say, say i don't know what to say. if you feel awkward, say i feel awkward. just be honest and willing to participate and you will be well on your way! edit: in response to your own update...i admire your bravery and courage! | socialanxiety | 4tllec |
hello this is my first post so bare with me. i am also not sure what subreddit to post this on because it is an odd question about hospital scale accuracy vs. home scales. i am 21 years old, 5 foot 11 inches and started my journey at 239 pounds. over the last 2 months i have dropped 20 pounds and now weigh 219. according to my research, i need a bmi of 30 (215 pounds) or under to be considered not obese and receive a health insurance premium of half what i was quoted for having an obese bmi. my question is this: how much more should i lose to guarantee under 30 bmi? my scale at home says i weigh 219, but i am very concerned that i am going to be in at my exam and have the scale report a higher weight. if this happens, my weight loss and effort would be for nothing. the home scale i am using is a digital glass scale that i always weigh myself on in the mornings on hard tile floor. my appointment is this thursday at 7am. | health exam for life insurance - bmi question | 7c8wmu | i work in life insurance. are you applying to just one company? different companies have different weight standards. if you go through a good agent, they should be able to tell you which companies are more lenient with that kind of thing. | askdocs | 7c8wmu |
i am a 28 year old male, and my friend is also 28 years old. my friend was diagnosed with schizophrenia when we were 25 years old. he was, and still is my very good friend, someone who i knew from kindergarten. after university, my friends and i stopped talking to him, limiting our conversations to facebook. three years back, we learnt that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. his primary caregivers, his parents insinuated that had we kept in touch with him often, we could have prevented or delayed the onset. is there is any truth in this notion that by simply being in touch could have assuaged his situation? | can social contact delay onset of schizophrenia? | d84wg2 | there's nothing to suggest that social connection has a strong effect on incidence of schizophrenia. as someone else said, withdrawing from social contact can be part of the prodrome or syndrome of schizophrenia. i think the family may also be really looking for something to blame and some sense that this at least could have been controlled. in reality, it can't be. schizophrenia is highly genetic and also highly responsive to stressors that in large part aren't under anyone's control, and the ones that are are usually under the individual's control, not others. but even if there were something doable, hindsight is 20/20. you can't live your life as a risk modifier for everyone else, and you couldn't do that even if you had absolutely reliable insight into risks and what you could do, which you don't. | askdocs | d84wg2 |
i have come down to los angeles and new york city as some of the best options, because having the three biggest record labels in the city is a major plus. also the city needs to have a lot of talented and dedicated musicians, as well as good venues for live music. which city would you recommend and why? is there another city that could work better, and why? | i am a rock musician who is looking to move to the best location for a music career to thrive, similar to bands like marilyn manson. suggestions? | 74guif | los angeles and new york are where successful bands go, not where they're from. the music scenes there are incredibly competitive, and in the case of los angeles at least, very jaded. i'm out of the loop, but if i were you i'd look into local scenes where it is easier to get gigs starting out, and there is interest in the kind of music you do. source: self -- grew up in la, and abandoned an unsuccessful semi-professional career in music. adjust opinion accordingly. good luck. | needadvice | 74guif |
30 year old female australia white medication: lexapro 5mg in the morning i have heard a side effect of lexapro is qt prolongation. ever since i started taking lexapro, my resting heart rate and blood pressure has been lower (before lexapro 100-120bpm, with lexapro 75-85bpm). my psychiatrist told me to get an ecg done with my doctor. my question is, is it possible that qt prolongation to not always show up on an ecg (transient), or would it always be present? i don't really know much about it. | is qt prolongation from antidepressants transient or would it always show on an ecg? | kcnzri | it would show up. a change in qt interval doesn’t change your heart rate and cannot be felt. it’s a measure of an electrical signal, not the action of heart muscle. ssris are known to slightly decrease heart rate. it’s rarely meaningful. they also decrease anxiety, which can substantially decrease heart rate and blood pressure. | askdocs | kcnzri |
learning what adhd truly is (beyond "he's hyperactive, running around all the time"), especially the attention disorder part, has been eye-opening. it explains so much of my life, and i feel that now that i understand it, i can learn to try and work with it.   a lot of the criticisms that people with adhd often receive, "being lazy", "being inattentive", "not caring", can be down to adhd. and sometimes it's not so much a criticism, but a quirk. but, for some people, these are simply character flaws, or part of their personality. how does one differentiate between a problem that is caused by adhd, and something that is a character flaw that can be fixed? how does one differentiate between a quirk that is caused by adhd, or something that is simply part of someone's personality? | how does one differentiate between adhd, personality and character flaws? | anebac | at the end of the day, i don’t think it’s possible to truly differentiate. all of these things are too tangled up with one another. and really, do the labels - adhd, personality, or character flaw - really matter? if something is a problem, we have the option to address it and work on it, or not, regardless of what category we try to put it in. edit to add a caveat, that labeling something as just a “character flaw” can be really damaging to people with adhd and people in general. calling something a character flaw sends the message that we can do nothing about it, so it’s probably not a very useful term in this context to begin with. | adhd | anebac |
hi guys, i'm 25 years old, spend 98% of my time alone in my apartment. i leave only to go to therapy and buy groceries. because my dad is rich he can do rich person things like pay for me to go to therapy five days a week. i've been doing this for a year, the therapist (md psychiatrist) is pretty much the only person i talk to besides arguments with my dad about getting a job (i work online and make $100-200 a week which is really not enough for much besides not having to ask my parents for money for groceries and gas usually). i've asked twice now to reduce the number of days a week i come to see my psychiatrist. both times she had quite a few reasons this wasn't a good idea and i'd end up agreeing to keep going five days a week by the end of the discussion. the first time she said i would be isolating myself further, she also said it was my idea to go five days a week in the first place. the "it was my idea" argument made me feel pretty guilty at the time but now i just don't see how it's relevant, it was my idea to go five days a week and now it's my idea to go less so what's the problem? felt like she just went on the offensive knowing i'd be a complete pushover about it. i don't like to think of myself as a vulnerable person but then i scroll up and read "i spend 98% of my time alone in my apartment" and wonder how much it is my decision that i'm going five days a week still. i asked again a week or two ago (probably five or six months after the first time) and got very much the same reaction, that i'd be isolating myself further and it wouldn't be good for me. it is true that i am basically a complete recluse, but i'm not unstable and after trying 10 mg of paxil for a few months i decided i didn't like it and she was okay with me not going on any other medication. what bothers me the most is that after this second time i asked and then she talked me out of it it feels like she's now putting more effort into pleasing me, i said something that wasn't even that funny and it seemed like she laughed on command. i am pretty attached to this psychiatrist now, she is pretty much the only person i feel even a little comfortable around but i have a lot of doubts about this arrangement. it seems like she's gotten around $100k+ out of my parents but i am still very much in the same position i was before ever going. this whole write up was a little disjointed but i'm pretty confused about the whole situation and now it's been going on for a year and a half and i don't know if any of this is normal at all. this probably didn't come across right but i'm just gonna post and see what you guys say, thanks. | feel like i'm being taken advantage of by my psychiatrist. | 4e4oue | psychologist here. 5 days a week is waaaaay too frequent. the very most that i will see people is twice a week and then only during crisis (eg suicide risk). the comment about socialization is reasonable but spending time with your dr is not a substitute for actually going out into the world and being with people, which is what would be beneficial in all likelihood. it could be easily argued that five days a week is fostering dependency. makes me angry when i hear about stuff like this as it seems on the face of it like malpractice although not knowing the details here i can't really say. i can say this is so uncommon a practice among my peers as to be unheard of. | depression | 4e4oue |
so i came to the concusion that she is just not that into me :( lol. it stings but their is nothing i can do to change this. not a big deal time to move on, just one problem... it is summer now, i'm out of school. i don't know how to meet people outside of school. i feel like finding someone else to talk to is one of the only ways to get her off my mind but i can't meet people outside of school... | how to move on? | 290wu1 | it sounds like you don't have a lot of friends, so you invested a lot in her which is now a problem since you realize she hasn't invested as much. you might be served well by focusing on finding others in your area with similar interests and focusing on building those relationships. i know that it's kind of generic advice, but there are a lot of posts detailing ways to do that. try to focus on making it as fun of a summer as you can. | socialskills | 290wu1 |
length of relationship (2 1/2 years.). she was with me through forest fire, house foreclosure, rehab, and when i almost died to frostbite. i go on house arrest and she moves in together then a month ago said things aren't working from partly me being jealous/smothering her as i could leave home and wanted to be around her all the time. so she leaves about 3 weeks ago, and says she's going to focus on herself and not looking for anyone else. i see her add this dude who's single on fb who since now has started dating and already hooked up with. i blocked her on facebook. i don't know how to get over her or stop ghosting her facebook from a friends account and see her purposely posting stuff about "song reminds me of special someone" etc... and i'm losing the battle, especially being on house arrest with no one around. my biggest fear is i'm in debt a lot (50grand) from my addiction but i still kept my full time job. i don't know how to move on and it scares me and first time in my life i've had visuals of just ending it...whether be under a heavy hauler tire so my dad and family get work insurance money and will be finance free. like it just breaks my heart seeing her find a "special someone" in 5 days of knowing the person only a couple weeks after she left our 2 1/2 year relationship. i blocked her and id creep buddies account and seen a video of them together and it tore me apart even harder...just wish i wouldnt care or love her so much... i did block buddy and hope time will fix this... i sincerely appreciate your time for those that read this, i just needed to vent and i have no one i trust in real life and don't want to be judged. ~frostbite. | [28m] losing control after ex left our 2 1/2 year relationship for me being on house arrest and finds "special somone" in 5 days.. | 69n7qt | i didn't get sober till i was 32. my wife, kid and career are all new, post-sobriety. you have time to have the kind of life you want. you're just in a shitty spot. call your local aa chapter, see if they have someone willing to visit you while you're under house arrest. | relationship_advice | 69n7qt |
to introduce this idea, i was listening to blank space by taylor swift (don't judge me haha) and suddenly, pictures popped up in my head. here are the lyrics which particularly inspired me " i could show you incredible things. magic, madness, heaven sin", " so it's gonna be forever. or it's gonna go down in flames?", "screaming, crying, perfect storm", " rose gardens filled with thorns". after hearing this i thought of two things, a break up/crisis when a bpd's rage kicks in; and the wrath of god, especially toward adam and eve after their bit the forbidden fruit. so, how are the two related? here are the theme of this story: god, adam and eve, the snake, the forbidden fruit. god's personality can be perhaps interpretated as someone suffering from bpd. adam and eve are the bpd's entourage. the forbidden fruit is the fear of being betrayed/abandonned. and what about the snake? well, what if i tell you that the snake was bpd in itself? let me explain, the person with bpd meets adam and eve, they give them their boundless love. everything seems so perfect (the garden of eden), but there is one thing, the person fears their betrayal. this is when the bpd kicks in, it makes the person more paranoid and changing, until the point where it become a self-fulfilling prophecy. then, adam and eve ends up doing something which trigger the person's anger (cheating or lying) or it could even be something trivial like bitting an apple. however, the person feels betrayed. they are no longer giving their grace, they are giving their wrath. the results are colossal: adam and eve are shamed and chased from the person's life. what do you think? in my opinion, this shifting between the grace of god and the wrath of god is something i really relate to because of my sensitivity i can shift from love to anger because of a lot of triggers. | how adam and eve's fall can be interpretated as a bpd story | 8uj200 | if you've read the bible a lot of what christianity and catholicism say about god really makes it seem like god has a personality disorder. vengeful acts over silly things, irrational beliefs, acts of violence and then apology (splitting on followers), unstable relationships and "testing" relationships, etc... if we are all made in god's image, maybe god struggled with a personality disorder | bpd | 8uj200 |
greetings reddit, i just had something i had to get off my chest. hope you fellow redditors don't mind. i honestly cannot fathom why people socialise, not one bit. i only pretend to be in social circles so i don't appear to be that guy. these " friends " only talk to each other for their own selfish needs, they want to feel wanted, appreciated, even loved. however, when things take a turn for the worse, guess how many of your " friends " are left. friends just don't care. they only pretend to care because humans are pathetic and need to socialise to survive. i despise it, all the deceit, it makes me sick. family and relatives, they care right? yes, but because they are obliged to do so. they only give a damn about you because you are related to them and deep down in our primal instincts, we are programmed to protect our own, people related to us by blood. take for example, when you walk down the street together with your family and you spot a genuine beggar. what do they do? probably walk past him/ her without even batting an eye. psychiatrists, doctors, teachers, all these servants of society. they don't care either, they only seem to because you're putting food on their table. they are paid to care for you, without your money, let's just wait and see how many are willing to put up with you. to all the people that do care, thank you. although, do you help them only because you'd feel guilty for leaving a helpless man to fend for himself or to feel good about yourself for a change? nowadays, i can't even talk to anyone any more. all our conversations seem so fake. i couldn't bear with it, having to think through what you have to say, being judged based on it, it's such a hassle. now, i just find myself holed up in my room, enjoying alone time, knowing that despite all of lies circulating outside, at least i can learn to love myself. can i? thanks reddit and have a pleasant day, more rants in the future, probably. | does anyone really care? | 3fi91g | i feel like you are way overthinking things, and displaying what cognitive-behavioral therapist call "mind reading", which just means that you assume you know what people's motives are or what they are thinking. i've found that most people care about others. the only people that don't care about others are sociopaths, which is a mental illness that is not all that common. i'm a therapist, and i have genuinely cared for most of my clients. would i see them without being paid? sure! would the place i work for let me? probably not. see, if i weren't being paid, i'd have to do something else to get the bills paid, which means i wouldn't be able to see as many people. still, most therapist including myself do volunteer work where he provide services for free. | depression | 3fi91g |
recently i've been concerned that i may be suffering from borderline personality disorder alongside depression, i take medicine for the depression (40mg prozac) and have had no problems with that, however i've noticed a change in my moods, not as severe as bipolar disorder but i find my moods tend to alternate between very aggressive and joyful. a few other symptoms match those of bpd and i was wondering if anyone could suggest any further action i should take. | bpd? | 1dkxal | if you have a psychiatrist who prescribes the prozac, then talk to him/her- they may be able to refer you to a therapist. if it is a family doctor- ask for a referral to a mental health professional. | mentalhealth | 1dkxal |
i want to have a comprehensive, coherent understanding of how the brain works in a pragmatic, actionable context of self-understanding and development (specifically, for the purpose of reforming habits to live as healthfully and productively as possible). i don't have much free time so the more concise and applicable the information is, the better. what are your favorite sources for information on this topic? forums, directories, books, sites, podcasts, etc., what are the most helpful that you've encountered? any suggestions appreciated. thank you, my dudes. | best sources for practical understanding of psychology & brain physiology? | 47gx1v | you're asking for a lot in a little time that doesn't really exist. we don't really know how to use the brain to modify habits except for using biofeedback. the brain is so complex, if you want a comprehensive knowledge of it you have years of study ahead of you. | mentalhealth | 47gx1v |
so pretty much i’m going to see a counsellor to find out if i have bpd. and if i do get diagnosed with it what do i do. i’m scared there’ll be nothing i can do to cope with it and people will be afraid of me and i will pretty much never be able to get in another relationship. | i need advice | e36asn | bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder? | mentalhealth | e36asn |
we dated for about a year and a half before i decided to end it because our sex life was so boring. other than being sexually incompatible he's the most amazing person i've ever been with. and before all the comments start with "did you talk to him about what you like..." yes i tried that and it still never made it past vanilla sex. looking for advice on whether i should keep trying or if i should move on. | i [27/f] fell in love with [28/m] but i broke it off because the sex was terrible. | 6ne0k1 | you could try couple therapy as a last resort. | relationship_advice | 6ne0k1 |
i'm a 22 year old male that is having a bit of a problem talking to any woman that i find attractive. for some reason, i can't find the words to say to start a conversation. i'm a genuinely nice guy and can't find a girlfriend due to the fact that i don't know what to say to any female that i know is available in the dating scene. any advice? | help please! | 6qrrts | you need more practice. join a dating site and have lots of coffee dates. | relationship_advice | 6qrrts |
we know each other for 20 years from the school. when we were teens, i admired him. he is a bit smarter than me, but totally "ticks" differently. he is very pragmatic and tries to find the weak points of things. the first example i remember is starcraft 1. when it was new, we had a lan-party with friends and while we were creating huge armies to battle us, he made a handful dark templar (invisible, costly unit with a lot of damage). our armies went into the battlefield and he sneaked into our bases and killed all of us, winning him the game. this example shows that he tries not to do what others do, but do things in his own way. after school we both went to study, him computer science and me engineering. later i switched to cs as well, so for a short while we both studied in the same courses. but both of us did not deal well with the university... due to my depression i did not collect any points for several years(!) and he left the university since he did not collect enough points to get his government university money due to him not focusing on the subject, but on other things that interested him. in the midst of my depression i decided to go into therapy, which worked very well. i still was very much behind and struggled at first, but managed to make my degree after a long overdraft and now i work a decent job at a big company. he still is studying without an end in sight, almost 2 years after i've finished my degree, which took 3 times longer than usual. since we both live in different but close-by cities, we mostly write online. he still lives in a small room in his parents basement. and here are the things that "itch" me: i consider myself his best friend - yet i almost know nothing personal of him. does he have a girlfriend at the moment? what does he fear? what are his dreams? is he okay? is he happy? the older i get the more biting i find his pragmatism. for example he has a stripped computer with no graphics card on his desk and underclocks it, so it wont consume too much power. he explained very well to me, why this is a good thing and that he does not understand, why so many people waste so much money on big pcs and cases. this is actually true and interesting from my nerd-perspective, but the older i get, the more comfort i like and every pragmatic thing he does seems to be overly extreme. sometimes he almost feels extremely stubborn and will ignore my input. another thing is - yes, he is doing some quirky and interesting stuff - he is not learning any usable skills i fear. i assume my coding skills are now way better than his ever were, simply because he does not train them... several years i found it okay to be like him, even admired his minimalistic lifestile and minimalistic ideas, but quite some time ago i've realised that i dont want to be like that. i want to be with people, have a family, children, do usual stuff, connect. for the past 3 months we did almost not write, did not wish merry christmas of happy new year. after he did not congratulate me about my birthday, i waited some days and talked to him about a cardgame to which he replied normaly. after that silence again. when i need to move, he usually helps me with that and is the first to come and last to go. when i write to him about problems he can listen, but he can not give solid advice. he simply does not know what to say and tells me that. since i know him for 20 years, i dont want to simply throw away this friendship. but it seems to become more and more empty with each day and i dont know what to tell him. should i set him an ultimatum? should i end the friendship? should i not care and keep going as usual? any advice? | since my best friend (35m) is becoming more and more reclusive, i (35m) am thinking about stopping the contact. | 5u0fwj | he could be a recluse for a million reasons, having nothing to do with your friendship. if you value your friendship and love the guy, i would hang in. some people are important enough to be met more than half way. | relationship_advice | 5u0fwj |
so ive been with my boyfriend about 6 months and during honeymoon we were literally on fire. it has understandably tapered off a bit and he apologises for the lack of sex but i tell him thats not what im needing. i just want affection and his attention sometimes. im looking for more conversation and cuddles and eye contact. one on one stuff. i dont want to come across as needy or whining for it. what do you think is the most reasonable way to approach this? | how to ask so for attention without nagging? | 6wylum | decide how much attention you need. if he can't respond, you're likely not compatible. every relationship has different proportions of time alone vs time together. | relationship_advice | 6wylum |
my mum died from cancer when i was 21 with a 2 year old. my dad died from sudden heart attack 3 years later. 2 weeks after that i had my second baby, and in between dad's death and my sons birth i was fighting viciously with his abusive eldest son to make sure he didn't make my younger sisters lives harder. this was 18 months ago these incidents combine with other factors: incident of molestation as a kid, growing up in poverty (my poor bitches know what this can do), 2 kids and no jobs for my partner and i and bills piling higher and deeper. i would never commit suicide, but if i was told i had 24 hours to live i would be a-ok with it. i feel washed out and faded. everything happens a mile away, to someone else. i feel like i have no resilience, no strength, no power or energy. shit just happens. continuously and badly. and i am convinced that no one likes that someone else (me?). everyone is nice and tolerant but there is no reason to want to be around me. i get shit done, barely. i cook and clean and study. i don't want do anything. i don't want to talk to anybody. i have to force myself (while i am a mile away) to do shit. sometimes the indifference i feelmto most of life is broken by intense irrational anxiety; cant handle driving on steep hills or narrow roads with ditches on the side, or sleep with the light off for example. i don't if this makes sense to anyone. i hope 1 person understands and is ok, because i don't know if i am. | help? i guess? | 6368dy | **disclaimer: this is *not* a diagnosis. seek the opinion of a therapist in your area before trusting anyone online.** you show some definite signs of struggling with grief and loss, as well as negative self-image. those are not at all uncommon given the laundry list of negative stressors you've experienced. and it's clear you don't have a lot of support, either from family or friends; that feeling of isolation only makes things worse. it's my professional opinion that you need to see a therapist in your area. you're not alone in feeling this way and a counselor can help you sort some of these things out and develop a system for handling this stress. | mentalhealth | 6368dy |
i am 29 female dig nosed with mdd and gad (major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder). i have been on two anti-depressants in recent years but neither have been consistent. i took zoloft for about a month but due to the loss of a job and no money and no insurance could not afford it, and most recently lexapro. unfortunately, i had to stop taking this at the end of july (with doctor's permission) because it was making me feel physically ill (flu like symptoms including nausea, chills, and chronic fatigue but no fever) to the point where i had to take 2 and half days off of work. i have a doctor's appointment in a couple weeks and was wanting suggestions on anti-depressants that won't make me feel like complete crap. | what are recommendations for an anti-depressant? | 4wj3dy | it's a process of trial and error, honestly. antidepressants unfortunately take about 6 weeks to really work, but many of the side effects come right away, meaning that you usually feel worse before you feel better. however, many of the side effects also go away as your body gets used to the drug, so it becomes a matter of sticking things out to see how the drug will be once things settle down (barring something truly intolerable, obviously). since it doesn't sound like you've had a solid trial to see how any particular drug would work for you, there probably isn't a particular advantage to trying one over the other next. | askdocs | 4wj3dy |
when i was younger i use to have a handful of friends from the high school football team that i didn't need to be very socially out going to maintain. i was decently fit at the time, we did a lot of physical activities outside of the sport but now many have moved away, some unfortunately died, and the one i got left is to busy with his family and career to do much with me these days which is understandable. i'm a 25 year old guy working on getting back into shape, and i noticed a boxing gym just opened up in town had a slight interest in the sport. there isn't to much available around here for adults besides bars and i don't like drinking it just breaks out my face so does this sound like a valid option to make some male friends? what are other options out there for a rather still young adult male? | best physical hobbies to meet new people and make friends | 8iev01 | depends on where you live but a lot of towns have adult rec sports leagues from competitive ones to recreational. even kickball leagues for adults can be a ton of fun. usually in rec leagues there are a few teams made up of individuals who don't know each other when they join and get placed on the teams. this can be a good way to meet people and have fun in the process. though they're not as common i don't think as softball and kickball rec leagues for adults, some organizations have flag football or even full contact (with pads) rec leagues for adults. bars usually are the best place to make friends as adults. you don't necessarily have to drink. see if any of the bars in your area have pool or darts leagues, or other kinds of leagues. this can usually be a good way to make friends. if you're musically inclined or even just love listening to live music, finding open mic nights at bars or coffee shops and starting to go regularly to perform or even just watch is a great way to meet people. more often than not, the environment is very inviting and communal. | socialskills | 8iev01 |
a big for me is to remeber to eat and shower and sleep i did all three to day and i went shopping i meant even clean my room be amazed folk this is the big leagues | i don't want to brag but | 2pwx47 | i think its great to compare yourself to yourself to define what an accomplishment is, rather than comparing yourself to others. you did great today! | aspergers | 2pwx47 |
hello there. i'd like to be properly diagnosed, not quite sure what it is, asperger's would explain a lot, so would certain personality disorders, can't tell for sure what it may be. the problem is: i hate talking to doctors. always have. at least dentists don't expect you to talk when they're poking your gums, but other kinds of medical personnel are something i can't deal with very well. any idea how to overcome this problem? 'cause i don't think a psychiatrist would be of any help when i'm not in a condition to cooperate. | my anxiety is keeping me from seeking help. | 1dr9co | talk to a counselor, not a doctor. a counselor is going to have a lot of training to help you feel at ease with them -- especially one that specializes in asperger's. | aspergers | 1dr9co |
today is the latest in a string of "day ones". i sometimes try to quit smoking when i have something in my jar. it never works because the time inevitably comes where i want to smoke and my guard is down. now is one of those times. if i had something in my jar i would fucking smoke it because i want to. i am here at 21:39 mst and i am usually either haf or getting ready to be. now is not the time for any "good for yous" or "strong work, stay with its" because i have not beat it by any means. if i had weed i would fucking smoke it and then stay up for the next few hours watching its always sunny and pretending to learn programming. | i wish i had some weed | 431qty | gotta replace the weed with something | leaves | 431qty |
okay first of all that shouldn’t be a question that is asked, i don’t know what i should be paid or what exactly they do. i’ve currently been in my field for a year now, low voltage technician work, and i landed an interview with a bigger company. my main goal, at first, with that interview was to see what other options existed and use it as leverage to get a raise where i’m currently working. i really enjoyed the place but it’s definitely a lot more work to be done. a lot of my job now is mainly residential work, running wires (~50) and installing and the other one is strictly commercial work. they have 300 cat6 runs for a wells fargo job coming up. sadly, i didn’t know that until later on in the interview. one of the first few questions he asked me was “what would you like to be paid” and i answered it so wrong. i’m currently making $13/hr straight out of hs with a good background in it and i answered “15-18.” keep in mind i had no clue they did hospitals, offices etc. so i didn’t know how tough the work would be. he replied with a funky smirk and “that’ll be no problem.” where i am currently working i have way better health care with a $3,000 deductible, and where i’m looking at now i would have to pay ~200 a month for worse insurance with a $5,700 deductible. i didn’t know about that until after the interview. if he did start me at the low end, $15, i would be making less and driving a good bit farther. i really liked the place and there’s so much more room for growth there, our entire office right now is a side room of the owners house. i just don’t see a point in going there if i’d only be making $15. especially with the fact i’m planning on renting a house soon with some friends, currently sleeping on a couch so no bills for me yet. i’m only 19 so i know i don’t have much room for negotiation but i feel like i shouldn’t be paid less than $18/hr for this job. and i crushed that interview, he absolutely loved me and my vision. tl;dr had an interview for a bigger company and i lowballed myself on pay. work would be substantially more difficult than i was expecting. need advice on how to approach this guy and explain that $15 wouldn’t cut it even tho i initially said $15-18. — should i make the switch regardless, bigger company, plenty of room for growth with the company but just a lot harder work, i’m not opposed to more difficult work just not at that price. update edit: no call today, he was filled with meetings today so fingers crossed for a call tomorrow! update edit 2: offered me $15 and didn’t budge at all even though we came up with some valid points here. thank you all. sad time now :) | need advice, yesterday i had an interview for a new job and got asked what i would like to be paid. answered so wrong. | c5rzja | you may want to ask r/personalfinance if you haven't already. they have a lot of resources for interview/negotiation tips as well. if they offer more, great - i think they will if that's truly what the job is worth. if they offer less, i think it would be okay to say "i was initially not aware of the increased responsibilities of this job at the beginning of the interview, i did some research and i now believe i should be paid around $19-20 an hour (or whatever the going rate is)." emphasize that you still are very interested in the job and would be willing to prove that your work is worth that pay. they may come back and say because you're young they'll pay you lower now and give you a raise later, potentially. there is a chance that they come back and say you should have researched the job better or something - but emphasize that you do still want the job even with the increased workload. i think you'll be fine. | advice | c5rzja |
i just have nowhere to go after that with my family, coworkers, random people. | i can't hold a conversation hi, my name is, how are you? | uij42 | perhaps this [conversation guide](WEBLINK) i wrote would help you out :) | socialskills | uij42 |
this one is here to stay. it is core-deep, life altering, even! i can't believe i never saw this before! so what i learned today was... shit. did i write it down?? it's not in my notebook. how could i not remember, it was only two hours ago. where are all my sticky notes?? did i shred it by accident?? shiiiiiiiit!!! this is a monthly occurrence. how have i not learned to write this stuff down?? how do i not have a notebook that i can keep track of?? maybe i'm just apathetic because i know i'll just lose that too. you win again, adhd. gg, asshole. | important lesson! | 60ugpk | my questions is...why do all of the best ideas have to be while i am driving in the car! | adhd | 60ugpk |
i was an extremely introverted loner as a kid, due to my fathers work i switched schools on average of once a year until i was 12 so i didn't really have time to settle anywhere. possibly as a result of this, i didn't have much confidence or any friends until my mid teens. needless to say i spent a lot of my formative years by myself and grew to appreciate my own company, a little too much to be healthy! i'm now 26 years of age and i'm still quite introverted. even though i have quite a lot of friends, i still prefer spending time by myself. i'd rather stay at home at weekends reading, studying, walking my dog or browsing the internet than go to a club and drink with my friends chasing girls but i force myself to socialize with my friends one night a week, even this can feel like a real burden. quite often, when someone, particularly family members and strangers, is talking to me i really can't be bothered participating in the conversation, beyond a few curt words so the conversation ends up being extremely one sided. it's as if forming proper sentences is the most tiring thing i could do in these conversations. i realize i'm socially inept. reddit, can you offer me some advice. thanks in advance. | i'm a social mess. suggestions appreciated. | 13q2oi | being social means different things to different people. if you are more of an intorvert, that's ok. figure out how to have relationships in a way that works for you. check out [this article](WEBLINK) for more. | socialskills | 13q2oi |
32f title pretty much covers it. i have what seems like an uncomplicated uti. my doctor prescribed macrobid for a 5 days. i have a celebratory dinner and wanted to have a glass of wine, but don’t want to make my uti worse. the pharmacist told me i could drink on macrobid with no issues, but i just wanted to confirm. | alcohol while on antibiotics (macrobid) for uti? | d7ibyk | a pharmacist would be the one to know! i also know of no interactions and couldn’t find any with a quick check. i know there’s common wisdom that you can’t drink while taking antibiotics, but it’s actually really only a problem for a few specific antibiotics. | askdocs | d7ibyk |
i really like this particular meeting because it feels warm and light-hearted, and a lot of the people like to crack jokes so it doesn't make it too unnerving. the first time i went was two weeks ago, and the people that saw me from that meeting came up to welcome me back tonight. so that was really nice. also happens that a guy i was in my dui class with was there as well. he took his 60 day token tonight. it was cool to see him again and listen to his honest story this time. he remembered me also, which i didn't expect. interesting how life just works out that way sometimes, huh? anyway, i'm glad i went tonight. hopefully next time i will be ready to share. | so i bit the bullet and went to a meeting tonight. | fgrcr4 | one of the awesome things about recovery is realizing people do actually care about me and are happy to see me there, and i get to feel the same way about them. keep coming back 😊 | alcoholicsanonymous | fgrcr4 |
since hs i've been very depressed/recluse and an addict due to a bad relationship and bad choices, also some bad memories from childhood. i can work jobs fine. due to my lack of health mentally and physically i had to withdrawal from college a few months back, i feel like a totally different and negative person from two years ago. i was so addicted and depressed that i told my parents i'd get help but kept doing the same things. fast forward to two weeks ago. again i've applied for college and i'm working but then as soon as i realize college is soon i have a panic attack at night and had to go to the hospital for passing out. so i have to withdrawal again from college, this time i'm actually taking steps to get better but my parents don't believe me. keep in mind i'm currently making an income, but my parents are flipping their shit about me not going even after showing them my appointments for the doctor and stopping all drug use. they think i'll do the same thing again, but i haven't lost any money from withdrawing from college. i really want to go but i'm so mentally/physically messed up that i literally feel nothing and have 0 order, so i feel that i need to make a recovery before going. i know i did mess up with college but i have to not feel this way and be capable of focusing/learning like i did before in hs so i can get good grades and be able to maintain a job while going. tl;dr: my parents are shaming me for not going to college and saying that i'll never go, but i'm only 20 and its only a 2-year degree. am i a bad son for getting help and not going to college so i can get good grades and have a clear mind? or should i go, feel like shit and maybe get ok grades and possibly drop out? | am i (20 m) a bad son for not being mentally and physically healthy for college? | ae835m | you're not a bad son or a bad person. you've just done some things your parents and you probably wish you hadn't, like everyone else who's ever lived. nobody's perfect. don't forget that. the only real failure would be if you stopped trying to achieve the things you want to achieve. also, don't forget that actions speak louder than words. it can take years to build trust and one bad decision to lose it all. it could likely take a few years of you being sober, healthy, self-sufficient, etc. before they begin to trust you or give you any credit. always remember that the world doesn't owe you anything. you've got to earn love, respect, and everything else you want. to reiterate once more, in spite of all of this, your mistakes do not make you a "bad person" or a "bad son". they simply make you a person who has made mistakes. | mentalhealth | ae835m |
hi. i had an argument with my bf recently and i feel very out of touch with reality considering the way he twists things around. so, i ask you, is this scenario valid to use in an argument? partner 1 fucks up. said partner apologizes profusely for the fuck up but partner 2 does not have it and won’t even acknowledge the attempted apology. weeks earlier the other partner fucked up in a different, but more serious way. partner 1 was devastated and angry but agreed to hear partner 2 out, which led to a positive resolution. now, partner 2 says that using the example of the way partner 1 reacted about partner 2’s fuck up is invalid because you can’t bring up things from the past. partner 1 did not bring up the mistake, but rather the way the mistake was talked about and dealt with, and asks for the same respect partner 1 gave partner 2 during their fuck up. is that valid? | is this valid in an argument? | 80tu96 | it's valid, sure, but it's useless if the other person won't listen/acknowledge the point. i find that when in a stalemate with someone who doesn't seem to be understanding my point of view, they are probably feeling the same. the quickest way to de-escalate an argument and get someone to pay attention to what you say (in a later step) is to acknowledge their point/feelings. period, end of sentence. not: "i see where you're coming from, but _______" more like: "you're feeling angry because i _______." then just let it be. they'll be taken aback that you heard them and literally won't be able to respond the same way as if you had said the above statement. | relationship_advice | 80tu96 |
i'm a 32f, was diagnosed at 29. i thought i was just really hungover, but welp, turns out it was the plague! i live in nc where is is pretty much unheard of. got rid of it after multiple rounds of antibiotics, but now have some sort of autoimmune and thyroid condition. i cant find a doc for the life of me that has even seen yersinia, let alone know if this sort of response is typical? tried asking at /r/autoimmune with no success | yersinia pestis anyone? (plague?) | 6cyo2e | we've suspected hashimotos but it's not exact. it's frustrating how little we know about hashis and hypothyroidism, it's not an exact science by any stretch of the means | askdocs | 6cyo2e |
**background:** so since my graduation from high school i've been attending community college, without paying a cent thanks to getting into the honors college. i've done 4 semesters so far (3 regular, 1 summer). the latest semester was my second to last that i had, where my tuition was supposedly covered by honors. recently during the current semester however i was force graduated without warning on feb 2nd. this was due to my 33 credits from ap classes filling out my required requisites for the aa, and the system automatically graduating me before i had time to meet some requirements for an honors certificate or getting my transfer credits for my original planned uni and degree. apparently i was misinformed by one of the first advisors i met that the credits from my ap classes would not be counted toward the honors limit of only covering 60 credits of tuition, which they programmed into the system as automatically occurring once i get my aa. advisement was of almost no real help as they cannot do anything really about the situation as their original method for handling this has been made impossible by new federal guidelines. so they've pretty much told me i need to make my up now asap on what to do with my future in uni and degrees. now i've changed my major plans to accommodate what i can afford, and picked two uni's of commuting distance, with a major that can start me with a decent living until i can afford the career i want from life. i'm trying to deal with the honors college's system for transfers, and rushing to get all the paper work needed. i've missed the deadline for the original submission of the transfer questionaire, as it was jan 21st. they are giving me a break since my situation is pretty bs and letting my slide in late. **what i need advice on:** the problem however is that i need two letters of recommendation from professors. i have 4 that i may ask but i don't know how to approach them with such a task at such short notice. i don't have any professors i'm very close with; one of them was nice to give me an honors award for the interdisciplinary class, and the others i just did well. i did not really participate extracurricular as in the past i've dealt with two hospitalizations and recoveries, as well as trying to get a job with a full time school schedule. right now i'm stuck with only information such as their phone number and email, as their staff site does not include information on office hours, so i have to contact them through aforementioned means no matter what. what i'm wondering is how to go about asking these professors if they could produce a letter of recommendation. do i just email them the entire request? ask them for their office hours and location, and then follow up there, with premise of what i'm going in for? i'm a first gen college student so my parents are of no help with this. this is also not the first time crap like this has happened to me and in the past these small social interactions have f***ed me both with the entire experience and just with the opportunities i could have gotten. i just want to get through this without making this worse or lose the opportunity of getting honors at the uni i transfer to. asking an advisor on how to approach this has also not really worked out, as it just leads to awkward pauses and they just make reluctant gestures toward the entire thing. the only thing they've been good for is making sure i'm not taking any unnecessary classes or getting paperwork in the system. thanks for reading, i really appreciate any advice before i do anything dumb as hell from ignorance. | need to get letters of recommendation for the honors college transfer questionaire for uni. my situation makes it complicated. | 45aik5 | prof here, might be helpful. my recommendation is to send a *short* email to each explaining what you need, and the quick-but-currently-unknown timeline. i write plenty of rec letters but, frankly, rarely do them ahead of time, so i am hopeful that they will be understanding of the short notice. i would offer to go to office hours, although some may not require it. the important part is do not give the whole story you've given here. fine for reddit, but no one is going to read it all and you'll come off poorly. simply note that you enjoyed their class, did well (?), and are hoping they could write a letter specific to your strengths in the class. one or more might say no, or stress that they don't know you well enough to write a strong letter. also, for the love of pete spellcheck and error check the email. you're asking for something professional, present yourself as such. sometimes i guess people forget this because it's email and might "feel" more casual. the last point is that profs are asked to do this pretty frequently, and although it's not necessarily a favorite task, it also isn't that big of a deal. it's part of the job. like the other poster said, no need to feel intimidated or like you're asking for a huge favor. | advice | 45aik5 |
background: together 6 1/2 years (lived together for 4). plans for marriage when i finish my degree in 1 1/2 years (no engagement yet). i want to start off by saying although i can't see myself as a mother nor am i the mothering type i would be okay with having one child or no children. however, i refuse to try for kids after 30, too many risk factors. my so, on the other hand, goes back and forth. last year his friend encouraged him to have kids and said he'd be a great father which i agree he would be. he came home we had good conversation and talked about the fact that his work has an adoption aid program. then after every family event, he says f*** having kids. his cousins have 5 really bad kids. his sister's kids are really well behaved, so whenever we leave his sisters he never says that. fast forward to this past weekend. we went on a beach trip with his family. unfortunately, his cousin showed up with his kids. since we were sharing a suit with his sister the kids we constantly over. all the adults without kids and some with basically drank to tolerate the demons. well, saturday some of us adults escape to go have dinner. while waiting for our food his uncle asks him when he's having kids. he shrugs, and i say not after being stuck in a room with 8 screaming children. everyone at the table starts trying to convince me not all kids are like that. i know this. i tell them so and say that i could live without children. his uncle looked at him and goes well is that what he wants. when we got home on sunday i asked him "do you want to have kids, please give me a straight answer so we can be on the same page." he said i don't know. his family is putting pressure on me to have children. i don't have a family, but my friends are also putting pressure on me. i feel trapped and like he doesn't have my back. i won't leave him either way. i just want a straight answer. i want to have a plan (control freak in me). how do i get a straight answer out of him? any guys that did this to their so's? any ladies that have been through this? tl;dr my so keeps saying he doesn't know when asked about having children. i don't care either way, but everyone is hounding me and i'd like his support. | (27 f) my so (34 m) keeps saying i don't know about children, how do i get a straight answer? | 7txwth | “i don’t know” is a straight answer. also straight: “i won’t have kids after 30, so we have 2 years before the window closes.” so is “give me a yes or no in the next x months or i’m breaking up with you.” you guys are totally wrong about why parenthood is hard and 30 as a cut-off is artificial bullshit that is freaking you out. couples counseling or individual therapy for you! good luck. | relationship_advice | 7txwth |
hi, so 8 years ago i had what i call now my week of hell. i was in a foreign country, with an unknown man who was my mothers ‘childhood neighbourhood friend’ and he was going to help me find work. what ended up happening was me having to sleep with him for seven nights, and while sexual abuse happened. mmm fuck im trying to start speaking about it to move on but its so hard. anyway, i didnt tell anyone. i had a boyfriend at the time who would have left it all to come save me. i have a mother and father who would have stood by my side. while in the week of hell, my dads best friend, a cop, picked me up to have dinner. and i couldnt bring myself to ask for help. i was embarrassed and ashamed. i was 18. an adult. and i let this happen. its been years and aside from that, you know, its like a cycle. i did things to try to forget but it just built on. i just feel like i needed to take another step towards recovery. i have a therapist and i still find it hard to talk about it. thanks for reading. xx | just need to get it out | eggfri | i'm so sorry that happened to you. you were still a child at 18, and you didn't let it happen. it happened to you, and it doesn't define you. have you and your therapist ever discussed emdr? | survivorsofabuse | eggfri |
age: 31 sex: male height: 5'11 weight: 165 race: caucasian duration of complaint: 3 months location (geographic and on body): back any existing relevant medical issues (if any): right shoulder instability current medications (if any): n/a include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example) recently i visited a chiropractor who advised me to increase my water intake to hydrate my muscles to reduce stiffness. i'm trying to hit 100oz a day. **my issue is that i drink lots of caffeine throughout the day, which acts as a diuretic. if i maintain my coffee (edit: not caffeine) intake (roughly 24-30oz a day), will the diuretic effect of the caffeine flush the water out of my body before i can absorb it?** **how do i need to alter my caffeine intake in order to actually hang onto the water?** | how do i hydrate myself if i drink lots of coffee? | 9plbo6 | coffee is not that much of a diuretic. it’s largely equivalent to drinking that volume of water. there’s no need to offset. | askdocs | 9plbo6 |
hello all 21m here 7 days ago i made the decision to quit smoking marijuana, for health and personality reasons. i was a very heavy smoker for 3 years straight, smoked all day everyday and probably only was sober for 5 days during that 3 year period. the next day i felt pretty crappy, fatigue, muscles sore, and generally "out of it", over the next couple days it got really bad(extreme anxiety, chills/sweats, muscles and joints very sore, nausea, etc) so i started googling to see what was up. according to a bunch of forums i read, every single thing that was happening to me could easily be cause by a hardcore smoker quitting mj cold turkey like i did. that made me feel a little better and seemed to relieve the symptoms. however this morning i noticed a musty smell in my car and upon cleaning up the back seat a little i found some mold growing on what looked like some forgotten food on the carpet. i'm not sure what kind of mold it was but i thoroughly cleaned my car and heavily bleached every area that might have even possibly had mold. my question is should i ride out my mj detox and see if my condition gets better, or do i need to see a doctor asap? my anxiety seems to be making my whole situation worse because if i do breathing techniques and calm down i feel slot better, but my head still feels super foggy and i feel really out of it. i'm really freaking myself out and i don't have health insurance at the moment so i'll have to pay for a doctor visit and labs out of pocket so i really only want to go if it's absolutely necessary. sorry for formatting, on mobile and have no clue how to make it pretty.. | detoxing or mold poisoning? | 5w22wl | it's more likely to be acute cannabis withdrawal. | askdocs | 5w22wl |
so. this post is going to sound rather childish but i wanted unbiased opinions. i have been seeing this guy - who was (not so much anymore) known as a fuckboy (i hate that word) - for about 2 years now. on three occasions he has said the words ‘i love you’, though on all three he has been drunk, albeit not paralytic or anything. i’ve never said it back because i don’t want to make myself vulnerable and disclose all my feelings. after 2 years we are not official despite him saying he only wants to be with me. should i cut it off? or should i tell him that i love him? which i do but i don’t know how seriously to take him seeing as he hasn’t shown a serious interest in committing. | am i wasting my time? | 73bryg | you can't commit to something that doesn't exist yet. tell him how you feel and what you want. if he's on the same page, it's a go. | relationship_advice | 73bryg |
in recent months, she has been asking the same questions twice, forgetting recently learned information, forgetting names, etc. she's 50 years old, and every time she does something off it scares her to no end. for some reason, she still refuses to see a doctor. in june, my brother was diagnosed with hodgkin's lymphoma. thankfully, he is ok now. but is my mom still experiencing memory loss as a result of stress or is it something more sinister? | does my mom have alzheimer's? | 5fgsbg | she needs assessed. if it is indeed early onset dementia - then outcomes are better with early intervention. being scared to see the doctor will only end in tears. | askdocs | 5fgsbg |
...that i think are relatively normal for a boy his age, especially with adhd. i often get emails and requests for meetings about things my son, 9, who has adhd, does at school. while some things i understand telling a parent, other things i feel are normal for that age, especially ones with impulse control problems. maybe it's because i also work in education and work with kids everyday, many of which do worse things, that i think that way. example: was reported to me that my son called someone a baby. is that great or ideal? no. but is it so bad you have to email me? no. i've had to talk to kids about not calling someone an asshole or the n word, much worse. does that go home? only if they aren't receptive to what i'm saying and don't do what i say to help fix it. otherwise we have a big talk about it and resolve it. or he clapped obnoxiously in class. ok so then deal with it in class in the moment like i do with kids i work with who do things like that. or that he gets upset sometimes during an assignment saying he doesn't understand some parts of the work. so then as an educator make it so it's understandable and explain he can say it in another way. but to call me, email me and write him up? he's definitely not the worst of the worst yet i feel like they act like it. do they call me when he does the good stuff, like stick up for those being bullied or give away things to those who don't have anything? no, they just happen to mention it in meetings about the bad things. he has an iep btw, but you wouldn't know it since it doesn't seem to be changing anything there. i'm just sick of being made to feel like my kid is so horrible when i know he's not and i see so many "worse" kids. gone are the days when educators knew how to deal with kids during school hours in the moment apparently, instead of telling parents every little thing a kid does. this is a school who has called law enforcement on a 1st grader who wouldn't stay in the office all day btw so i guess what else should i expect there. i really wish i could afford an alternate to public school 😣 | i'm tired of hearing about things my kid does at school... | bjpj40 | i would respectfully ask them if they could put in place a behaviour management plan for incidences that are a once off or not hurtful to others. maybe tell them you are aware that he has an adhd diagnosis, however he is also a 9 year old and therefore behaves in ways that are not acceptable at times, as does every 9 year old. maybe say you were under the impression the teachers dealt with this in the moment but it doesn't seem they are capable of that in this situation. maybe discuss a behaviour plan because it is apparent they are not equipped to deal with routine childrens behavioir in the moment. your goal will be to tell them they are not doing their job in a way that they understand your point but they will look petty if they make a deal about it. | adhd | bjpj40 |
i [25f] left my boyfriend [27m] after a three day argument. i'm not exactly sure if i did the right thing because i still love him, but i tried adding him to social media and he told me to "stop fucking adding him on shit." i just wish we could work it out but i don't know if he really doesn't give a fuck or if he's hurt from what i did. | does he still care or is he over it? | 5sxee2 | chill for a day or two then ask him to meet for coffee and talk it through | relationship_advice | 5sxee2 |
usa i'm looking for help, but i'm so overwhelmed and i don't know what to do. everywhere i go either lists dozens/hundreds of professionals and i don't know which one to pick, or they just say "if you're distressed, reach out for help". i'm trying to reach out for help and i don't know how. what do i do? where do i go? | people say "get help", but... how? | da0fjc | hello! it can be difficult sometimes weeding out the type of help you want and who you might want to see to talk about some mental health concerns you are having. here are some tips to narrow down your potential selection a bit: 1. think about what specifically you are looking to get help for. often times people will say "depression" "anxiety" "anger" etc. and not elaborate further. really getting specific here will give you language you will want to look for in looking through professional sites/profiles and asking them questions. for example, with something like "depression"- "i want to feel less sad" "i want to learn ways to get more sleep" "i want to get interested in things again" "i want to think less about dying." etc. keep those key-words handy. 2. what does your financial situation look like? how might you be wanting to pay for services? do you have/want to use insurance? sliding scale cash pay ok? do you need free services? that will greatly narrow down who you are able to see and will also influence the places you will go to look for potential providers. note that sliding scale cash pay will allow you to see the widest variety of people. 3. do you have any ideas about the type of person you might be comfortable talking to? maybe a specific age range? male or female? maybe from a particular spiritual or racial background? someone who states they have experience with your specific concerns? that will also greatly narrow down. also, think about how far you are willing to travel for services; some zip codes have a higher number of providers than others. taking all of these into account, you will weed out 85-90% of the hundreds you might find through a simple google search. from there, you can start to peruse the list of people that are left. i recommend sending them an e-mail or calling them to ask about how they operate or look through their websites to see which of them pique your interest. some potential sites you can use to help filter out your selections: [www.psychologytoday.com](WEBLINK) [www.goodtherapy.org](WEBLINK) you can type in your zip code, and then select all the appropriate filters from the answers to the above questions, and it will show you the ones who meet your criteria. note that not everyone is on these sites, but i would say a good portion of them in the us probably are on at least one. also, if you are looking to use your insurance, hop on your client portal site and do a search of providers in the area who take your insurance policy. be sure to confirm with them that they do before scheduling any appointment. you can cross reference what you find on your insurance portal with their website or psychologytoday/goodtherapy page. one more thing, especially if you are looking for lower cost services, if you have a local behavioral health facility, sometimes they offer outpatient services. if they are federally funded/non-profit, they generally have more of an ability to give you a generous sliding scale rate (aka super cheap) for services. do note, though, that these places are often booked solid and you may have a long wait period in getting an appointment/scheduling follow-ups. | mentalhealth | da0fjc |
i have been volunteering at this soup kitchen almost every day for two weeks. i really enjoy the work but there is this other volunteer who is retired and is therefore working nearly all the time. he struck me as odd but friendly at first and his "flirting" just seemed like teasing. but for the past three days he has asked me what i would do if he kissed me and he explained to me that while age differences may seem like a big deal now, they aren't later on (this was just kind of random, not necessarily in relation to us). then today, he cupped my hands while i was washing them and washed them for me- twice. he wants to go on a "date" next week, but for breakfast so nobody will think there is any "hanky panky" going on. i have noticed that older men often take a kind of teasing attitude towards younger women with the assumption that it can't be interpreted as untoward because of the age difference. and while i am 21 and this guy must be nearly 65, volunteering is starting to be very uncomfortable, even if it is all in jest. i am kind of sensitive to these things so maybe i'm misinterpreting a nice, lonely guy's attempts to reach out to the new volunteer but even if that is the case, i'm getting a little upset by it. i would hate to quit working at the soup kitchen because they are incredibly understaffed and i have enjoyed everything else but i'm just about at the point of doing so. is there any way to shut this down without implying i think he's being inappropriate/creepy? | how to deal with older man [65+] being a little too friendly [21/f] | 62a42m | be very direct about the boundaries you expect. if he doesn't respect that, report him or find a new volunteer situation. | relationship_advice | 62a42m |
i read an article that said that people with asperger's are 10 times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than the general population. suicide is ranked as the number one cause of premature death among those with asperger's. it is not surprising that an aspie would contemplate suicide. those of us with asperger's are different than the majority of the population. we have a hard time relating to others, nobody understands us, we are more prone to loneliness and isolation, most of us are either unemployed or underemployed, and we are more prone to experiencing anxiety and depression. i have experienced thoughts of suicide on and off since i was a teenager. i have never attempted, but there have been times where i have felt a strong urge to do it, but didn't have the means to carry it out. sometimes i just feel hopeless. i feel like i'm never going to amount to anything. i don't see myself ever being financially independent after my parents are gone because i have such a hard time getting hired. i feel like my social skills will never improve and i'm always going to be alone. i know that suicide causes a lot of grief to loved ones left behind. i would not want to put my family through that. | asperger's and suicide | g58r1s | could you post the article? or where you read it? | aspergers | g58r1s |
i've been thinking about going back to therapy for a few months now. and maybe a week or two ago i decided to do it. i've been to therapy once before and i didn't notice any changes for good. the sessions were mostly awkward and uncomfortable for me. i know it's normal, but it'd been to the point of me not wanting to be there for another minute. so now i feel very anxious about picking someone that will indeed help me. i've been browsing for therapists for a few days now and also talked to my friends and one of them told me that there are different approaches in therapy. so i did some reading, but sadly i still don't quite understand them. the approach of my previous therapist was integral, so i don't know which one they chose for me. i would be very grateful if you could briefly explain these approaches and maybe advise me on which one to pick. so a bit about me (you have to base it on something right): i've been having quite a lot of different issues. i had depression for a few years now. i also have some problems with relationships in my family. and i also have a chronic disease that makes me incapable of doing quite a lot of stuff, because of the constant pain. last year i started college, but i lost all my motivation and basically am doing nothing. also, i grew up in an extremely religious family and although i'm an atheist i now have problems with engaging in sexual behaviors. and to top it all off of course a lot of insecurities. so as you see i have a lot to work through. oh, and i remember almost nothing from my childhood and i don't think that i could change it. ps: sorry if there are any mistakes. english isn't my native language. but feel free to correct me, i'm trying to be better at it :) | how do i choose a therapeutic approach that will suit me the best? | glhet8 | imo, from a client perspective, you should focus less on finding the specific modality that is right for you-- that's not really your job!-- and more on finding a therapist you like, trust, and feel like has a good plan for how to move you forward. that's actually one of the best predictors of good outcomes for therapy, especially for issues like depression. i know that in some ways, that's harder than just finding the right three letter acronym off of a psychology today profile... but it's also something where you can trust yourself and your feelings on it, even though you have no expertise in therapy. | askatherapist | glhet8 |
15 days left until my long anticipated psychiatrist appointment after being diagnosed as an adult in august. i’ve made a concerted effort to keep myself motivated and not over glorify medication. i’ll still be me. i’ll still have problems. i’ll still need to be vigilant. i’m not going to instantaneously spin around my house singing “a whole new world!!” (i might anyway, screw it). but i’ve noticed the closer it comes, the more i’m putting off projects. home office needs organized? i’ll do it after. i need to start meal prepping for the week? eh. i’ll start once i’m on meds. i don’t even know if i’ll actually be prescribed when i go but as realistic as i try to keep my expectations, the hope of having a whole new me that doesn’t live life overwhelmed is proving too tempting. is this a thing? have you done this? how do you tamp down those expectations so you can fight down the home stretch? tl/dr: i know meds aren’t going to solve all my problems but i am secretly hopeful that meds will solve all my problems. | medication procrastination | 9x61oq | i’m waiting for my psychiatry appointment on the 29th and noticing myself starting to do/think the same things. frustrating. | adhd | 9x61oq |
i had a horrible fight with my fiancé tonight. he said that he had a mysterious phone call from someone who told him that i was trying to get him arrested! he and his family hired an attorney even after i told him this was insane!!!! i told him i was coming home (i live in the house he owns) he said that he was very scared of me. it was insanity! i said well someone is trying to break us up…he said it was me having someone call and do this … so he would leave me. again, insanity. i was on a work trip at the time. i drove home 3 hours to be with him. we went to dinner and he said just so you know…my lawyer is going to have pis and people listening on people’s phones…..look me in the eyes…whoever did this will pay a very horrible price. i said omg i had nothing to do with this. then he said his father was the one who hired the lawyer and payed the retainer and he too wants answers…. i said i drove 3 hours to prove to you that i am not behind this! it’s one of your ex gfs or someone! he said no… then he said that he was very excited to go on weekend trip (i bought for him) this weekend but no longer… i swallowed that…then when he got home he said you think you could afford this house (i actually could by myself) i said and you can? (he’s nearly broke!) he said then leave i said omg…ok. i ran to my car. he looked me in the eye and said “just so you know…you are leaving…this is war” i left and he kept calling and saying i should apologize and he would take me back… came home…and i’m thinking of leaving him forever in the mornng if i can get the gumption… but what do i do? i love this man and he’s treating war? and saying that someone called him??? it’s insanity he called his lawyer and told his family that he got this call? i feel blackballed forever?? | my fiance told me to leave his house and then declared "war" on me ...and asked me to apologize? | 707dlz | your fiancé needs to quit amphetamines. you need to stay away from him. he's dangerous. | relationship_advice | 707dlz |
i'm on 10 mg of lexapro daily, and i want to know if i can have a smirnoff ice, just this once. i'm having a bad day, i have no friends to talk to, and i just want to have a drink. my tolerance to alcohol is really low, so i'll only have one drink. am i allowed to do that, if i take my pill hours before? | can i have alcohol with lexapro? | 6rmeka | you'll probably be fine. my addictions patients seem to guzzle bottles of everything despite being prescribed a bucket of pills daily, and seem to survive (not that im recommending it!) | askdocs | 6rmeka |
i always feel like my way of communicating with people is not compatible with other people's. my relationships (friendships) always seem to be lacking something, but i just don't know what. i'm actually very social and hang out with a lot of people, but all of them feel superficial. when i'm physically nott present i don't feel any need to text or keep touch, and since i never initiate it my friends naturally stop trying to approach me too after a while. i don't blame them. i'm sorry i'm drunk and this is a messy post and i don't even know what i'm trying to achieve with this. i guess i want to learn how i can break this cycle of pushing people and never letting anyone actually know me. | i [21/f] can't seem to get close with people (friendship-wise) and i feel completely alone | 6kv83m | friendships are built by regular contact at intervals that shorten over time. | relationship_advice | 6kv83m |
i was dating a guy for about 2 years, we were never official but it was clear we were both more then friends. long story short he decided to get back with his mentally ill ex girlfriend and expected us to remain friends, i gracefully declined and told him that i loved him and couldn’t stay around as a friend because it would hurt too much. fast forward 2 months later of no contact whatsoever, he writes to me to inform me some of some good news and began to thank me for all my help and support because without it he wouldn’t have been where he is today. he then proceeded to apologize for how we ended and told me he thinks of me and misses me, my laugh and spending time with me. he then says him reaching out is not an attempt to get me back in his life nor is he trying to get back into mine and hopes i’m doing well. i responded briefly congratulating him and wished him luck and he responded with additional apologies and began to tell me he’s happy and has secured a place of his own and he’s doing well. i cut it off by saying glad he was doing well and we haven’t spoken since then.. i have been confused for the past few days as to why he wrote to me and gave me tmi about his life without my asking. any insight ? | unsure what his motives are. | 77xiy4 | he’s not in love with you. beyond that, who knows. you want him, but can’t have him. for the moment, probably best to keep your distance. | relationship_advice | 77xiy4 |
i've [37/f] been in a relationship with my fiancé [29/m] for nearly 7 years. it took 5 of those years to get a proposal. we've both been married before. my divorce was a mess and i came out of it feeling somewhat safe. my ex was court ordered to basically take care of me financially because of the horrible things he did. my fiancé has never once offered to give me money for anything from the beginning. even when i've asked. i pretty much have to throw a bitch fit before i see a dime. he also doesn't help out much with anything else. when i bring up the fact that i feel like this is his hotel, he gets offended. recently, my alimony ran out and i'm short $800/mo. he still isn't trying to step up. meanwhile, i'm paying for nearly everything apart from the cell phone and internet bills. should i just bow out gracefully? | road to nowhere? | 6emll5 | you were dating a 22-27yo, waiting on a proposal, and you've now been engaged for 2 years without a wedding. what is up?? | relationship_advice | 6emll5 |
i’m 25 m from the uk and basically i don’t have a single friend in the world. there’s many factors why, basically i moved from north wales where i was attending school back to england right after i finished high school and was cut of from my friends right away. i’ve always been socially anxious but like most kids somehow made a few friends quite easy but right after school and having moved my anxiety became so much worse instead of attending the local college i became my mom carer a job i’ve had for the last 10 years, because i’m her carer i send all my time at home (and i mean all my time) and stopped interacting with people my own age with any people actually and completely missed out on my teens and early 20s the most formative years of my life. because of all this i honestly don’t now how to talk to people other than my family anymore and have next to no confidence if any at all, recently my youngest brother (who i don’t live with) invited me to play football with his friends every thursday they all vary in ages but i still feel out of place and i’m not friends with them. i’ve also been going to my local semi professional football teams games with my grandad but still feel disconnected from the real world. my biggest fear is dying without having formed any connections with people and being forgotten right away which seems quite lucky at the minute, my mom says i should just go to the local pub and start talking to people there but i really don’t think i’d find people i’d want to be friends with in a pub. i’m considering going to a local gym and maybe mma classes because i really want to get in shape but don’t want to go alone but i’m going to have to, i was supposed to go with my older sister but when ever i make plans with her she just cancels. i’ve been texting with an old school friend every few months but he has his own things going on and can’t be there to talk to all the time but has said i can come and stop with him if i ever go back to wales. dating apps seem like my best bet of meeting people but i’m convinced most of not all girls are going to give a guy with absolutely no social life a wide berth not to mention i’m not the most handsome guy around. i’m not sure what i’m looking for here to be honest, pep talk, advice or maybe just to write it down and get it of my chest. tl;dr basically got no friends and need advice. | i don’t have a single friend and don’t know how to make any. | cg6yav | i'd recommend finding some friends before you try dating too much. even if you met somebody great, the chances you'd form codependency issues and ruin a potentially great relationship are substantially higher if you don't already have a good support system of friends in place. i'd definitely suggest taking your brother up on his offer. you might not click with everyone from the start, but that's natural. people don't become friends right away. you start off by finding acquaintances. folks you have a common interest or hobby with and like each other at least just enough to enjoy spending time doing the hobby together. over time, you may get closer with some of these folks. aside from soccer, what other interests do you have? finds ways to meet people who are looking to do those things with others. they'll be acquaintances at first and may become friends later. granted, i'll say i'm a pretty social person who hasn't had much trouble making friends, but let me share this experience. because i have a fairly large group of friends, i can honestly say it was about 3-4 years without me making any real new friends. a lot of this had to do with being overworked, depressed, and not having the time and energy. either way, it was the case and i wasn't happy with it, especially as many of the friends in my circle were starting to move away, have kids, etc. i found an online server for folks in my local city and surrounding area who were trying to find groups to play dungeons & dragons. i'm a huge d&d nerd. unfortunately, most of my close friends aren't. i've tried playing with them, we stay consistent for a few weeks, and then it fizzles out. i met up with a bunch of random strangers at one guys house who agreed to host. we play almost every single week. it felt awkward at first as most of us were just feeling each other out. two people dropped from the group a few weeks in and we replaced them. about a year later, i'd consider all of these folks good friends. aside from continuing to meet for d&d we invite each other to house parties, we'll meet up for a drink after work occasionally, and do other stuff that friends do. if you can figure out what you're interested in doing and find ways to start doing it with others, do it consistently and friendships will come naturally. | socialskills | cg6yav |
i’m 9 days binge/purge free!!! i’ve been working out healthy, eating when i’m hungry but practicing control. it’s so fucking hard. but i feel so good. i researched hard for something to control my sugar cravings - last binge was a $100 trip to donut shops and trader joe’s and just feeling like shit after...my breaking point was that while i was biting into a donut, a back tooth broke apart. :so i tried chromium as a supplement. y’all. my sugar cravings are way low now. i can’t believe it. | chromium to help with cravings | f0wmkn | do you have a link to which brand you used? i’m gonna do some reading on it thanks for the tip. i’m tired of taking methylphenidate- makes me too wired. i’m sorry about your tooth. did you get to a dentist yet? i know i need to make a dentist appointment but i’m scared to because of the purging. | bulimia | f0wmkn |
i have had a fear of stroke for a while. today i was sitting and felt a little derealized with minor headache... felt a bit confused i was scared my hand felt cold and was shaking and i had a panic attack. when raising hands none of my hands droop, my smile is ok, my speech is not slurred. while i have had minor tingles for seconds, i do not have any distinguished numbness. i feel scared of 2 things. 1) that i am having a stroke. 2)that i already had a stroke. my cholesterol levels are very normal, and my heart has been thoroughly checked! would i know if i had a stroke? thank you! | 18 year old caucasian male, fear of stroke | 8trfjm | you don't sound like you have any risk factors for a stroke, and strokes in healthy 18 year olds are "publish a case report" rare. none of what you describe sounds like a stroke either; it does, as you say, sound exactly like a panic attack. | askdocs | 8trfjm |
i did what literally everyone and their mother suggested and i saw a counselor at my university since it’s a free resource. the first thing i said was that i wanted to be evaluated for adhd because i exhibit all of the symptoms, i know what it looks like because of my family history, and i am positive that it is very severe as it is actively ruining my life. immediately afterwards he told me that he doesn’t believe in diagnoses (?) and that he doesn’t like saying “you have x disorder” and would rather say “you exhibit symptoms similar to that of x disorder”. i told him about my depression and he talked about that for like an hour and the entire time i was shaking my leg, tapping my foot, fiddling with my keys. i actually don’t recall any of what he said because i was thinking of a million other things, none of which were related to what we were discussing. maybe i’ll have better luck with the specialist, whenever she gets back to me. | we love a dismissive therapist | a68518 | i’m a therapist, and just fyi, most masters level therapists don’t diagnose adhd unless they have specialized training since it’s a neurological/biochemical disorder and the best methods of evaluation are neuropsych testing and medical assessment. if the therapist was wishy-washy with you about the diagnosis, that’s most likely why and it’s not uncommon. usually if i have clients who are complaining of adhd symptoms, i’ll do a screening with them where i ask questions and maybe give a questionnaire, but i let my clients know it’s not a diagnosis and that they’ll have to be seen by a psychiatrist or neuropsychologist for that. we discuss that the screening process is just that, a screening, and it just gives us info about whether or not further assessment is needed. a university counselor is typically not going to have specialty in adhd, and the ethics codes and licensing laws are very strict about “scope of practice,” meaning there are some things we just can’t do or say without opening ourselves up to liability. hopefully this doesn’t put you off to therapy in general because it can be a really helpful tool. i’m glad you’re seeing a specialist and think you’ll be able to get more definitive answers there. best of luck! | adhd | a68518 |
i (23f) have terrible circles under my eyes 100% of the time and it makes me look both way older than i am and like i lost a fight against a boxing kangaroo, and while i understand general health can contribute to these circles/bags, is there a vitamin i can take (or several?) to help reduce these bags and brighten up the skin around my eyes? i don’t use makeup and this anti-aging cream doesn’t really work. i can admit that i’m definitely deficient in most vitamins and i do want to change that but i was wondering if there’s a particular vitamin i could take to help them. | is/are there vitamin supplements i can take to help reduce dark circles under my eyes? | il9ulz | i don’t believe that dark circles are associated with any nutritional causes or deficiencies. they are more associated with poor sleep, atopy (particularly allergic rhinitis and eczema), and a few other dermatological problems. a “bad diet” in first world countries rarely leads to nutritional deficiencies requiring vitamin supplementation. most of the belief in that is advertising hype from vitamin sellers. there’s no evidence that they’re helpful and a little bit that they’re harmful. | askdocs | il9ulz |
i don't really know from where to start. since the day i entered america i had only one dream is to become and engineer .. no matter what or how but i came with the idea that in america i can do whatever i want which true. i got to america in my last year in high school after i got my diploma i started taking classes in college for transferring to electrical engineering. long story short .. 4 months ago i started dating a girl ( it is my first relationship in america) after been with her for a couple of weeks she was honest with me and she told me that she's suffering from some mental illnesses (ptsd, anxiety, depression, and infant abuse) and two attempts of suicide when she told me i was already in love with her so i could not think in a logic way and i decided to to stay with her . my life got affected i quit from two jobs and i did not do well in school, but this doesn't mean i wasn't happy been with her and she also love me so much. 5 days ago she picked me up after her work shift and she literally told me " omar, i love you so much and i care about you a lot .. but i am not in a healthy spot in my life that i can offer a healthy relationship and i am so upset about it because i can't be with the most person i ever wanted to be with .. if i am going to fall i am not willing to take the chance that i may bring you down with me. you gonna be an amazing engineer and a wonderful husband. i love you forever" it's been a two weeks since we broke up .. but it is very tough and i can't stop thinking of her. should i fight for her? should i ask her to get back together? is there something that i could do? we're both 20 years old. | one of the hardest decisions in my life i am about to make .. and i need an advice. | eew4yq | this is a decision that only you can make. although it probably doesn't seem like it, you're young and have your entire life ahead of you. it sounds like your relationship was having a severe negative impact on you from quitting your jobs to not doing well in school. she's stated that she doesn't feel like she's mentally healthy right now. given your quitting your jobs and doing poorly in school (something that's necessary for you to achieve some of your main goals), it doesn't sound like you're very healthy right now either. it takes two healthy people in order to make a healthy relationship. you can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped. you can help yourself. i'd recommend talking to a therapist, even if it's just short term. you never know. in the future once both of you have gotten healthy, you may reconnect and get back together or you may find and fall in love with someone else who is an even better fit for you. in the meantime, it's going to hurt for a little while as you grieve the loss. it really sucks but it goes away in time. | askatherapist | eew4yq |
i don't really know how to write all this or even if i should or if anybody cares, but my depression is back at its worst and i would just like to open up for once and tell somebody how i am feeling and maybe it will help, because i really need help to better myself. so i moved out from home to study in another city and i am living with 2 friends as roommates. my mother was yelling at me basically everyday for the last 7 years for basically nothing. don't get me wrong, she loves me, i am the most important thing to her, but she is just so overprotective and also the yelling all the time really fucked me up. last week i was taking the bus instead of getting a car ride with a friend to the city i am studying at which is about a 2 hour ride. that was for her such a drama that she yelled at me for 2 days for everything i did. like i went to the toilet and got yelled at it for about 10 minutes. just because i was taking a bus ride??? and shit like that happens always. like at least twice a week. and now i am finally done with it. i want to cut here out of my life, but then i can't because i know how much she loves me and then i feel sad for her and forgive her. and in no way am i a good child, i yell at her back, i don't ever do things with her, i just kind of lived with here. and i don't think i love her. and i hate myself for beeing so because she still loves me so much. another reason why i hate myself is that i was finally feeling liked again in a real love kind of way by a girl i was seeing for a few months but last week she told me she doesn't want a relationship right now because she has so much other stuff going on right now. she said she liked me but she can't commit right now and she doesn't want to hurt me. so i propose to her a day later that i give her time to figure things out and thats where we are right now. but i fucking hate myself for it, i loved spending time with her. it meant getting away from home and my mom. and now myself being the idiot i am propose that i give her sometime without us doing anything together. and also i feel like i pushed here there, because i was always asking if she would like to do something with me. i am scared that it wont work out with here, because i really like her, and i dont know how i could handle finally feeling liked again in that way for it just to be gone again in such a short time. so yeah, that are the main two reasons why i feel like absolut shit right now. writing all this i still don't really feel better anymore. i still feel like i am a burden to all my friends and everyone. maybe someone can help. | depression is back stronger than ever | dmibc3 | i'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. have you ever checked out the subs r/cptsd or r/adultchildren? i think you will find a lot of support and understanding around your experiences with your mom there. is there anything you'd be able to try that might relieve a tiny bit of the pain? journaling, exercising, getting some sun, meditating, going to see a movie, listening to some good music, watching a comedy special on netflix? when things feel really dark, our depression tells us that nothing will help, but we have to remember that it's lying to us. if we believe it, it will consume more and more of us. we have to ignore its lies and try anything we are capable of doing in order to climb back out of the hole again. | getting_over_it | dmibc3 |
recently one of my friends (not super close but a good friend) has been struggling badly with his mental health and has already tried to overdose and ended up in hospital. he’s told me today that he’s written a note in case it ever happens, and he’s thanked me on it for being there for him. i was just wondering what i can do other than just messaging him and if any of you have been in a similar situation. thanks in advance. | how can i do more for my suicidal friend? | fd1bel | is he in therapy already? if not i would try encouraging him to get professional help on a more regular basis (outside of having to go to the hospital). otherwise, being there for him is most important. check in on him, chat, if you can spend some quality time like go out to see a movie or play games together, or even just go for walks or play a sport. social interaction and exercise are both things that can help one's mental health. don't nag him about it, but invite him to things he might be interested in. time spent doing other things is less time he's trapped with those negative thoughts and emotions, too. | advice | fd1bel |
it's honestly strange. you sit there, with the busiest mind, thinking a thousand different thoughts while trying to think of nothing at all. and meanwhile, your body is so tired, your muscles are sore, and you can't move. whether or not you know you have to, doing more than shuffling a little is exhausting. it's upsetting too. and confusing. and lots of feelings. there's a million time-consuming things i have to accomplish within the hour, and i know that good stuff is happening when i'm done. but i can't move. i'll be unhappy if i'm late to get started, i'll be more unhappy when i'm rushing and can't enjoy anything. so that's what i'm doing. sitting here, watching my cat purr and rub her head on my dresser, half-naked, and i can't get started. tl;dr depression is some kind of way fucked up. edit: wow, you guys make me want to cry :] i'm really happy that this helped some of you, and wanted to also say i'm here to talk or vent at or whatever. this community is awesome and i love you guys. you've been here for me more than once so please, come to me whenever you need it. | depression is weird. | 1a3rto | i never get into that big of a depression episode, but it certainly does explain the times where i really am in a deep depression. | depression | 1a3rto |
i met this guy about a month ago and we've been seeing each other regularly, problem is he's only here visiting his family for the summer. so far the relationship is really good, nothing is official but we have a lot of fun, communicate regularly and when we hangout it's amazing. i'm just wondering when i should bring up the topic of exclusivity and possibly seeing where things go after the summer is over? is this even something i should bring up or should i just enjoy the rest of the summer with him before he leaves and wait for him to bring it up? tl;dr: been hanging out with a guy for a month who's only in town visiting his parents for the summer, would like to continue the relationship, how/when/if do i bring it up? | when do i [22f] bring up the topic of continuing the relationship past the summer with him [23m] | 6meum8 | people on reddit are very afraid, for some reason, about speaking up pro-actively about what they want and need, and asking the other what they feel and what they want and need. so the answer is now~ good luck | relationship_advice | 6meum8 |
**tl;dr** mom always wants me to wear a bra around her boyfriend? is this normal? my mom always tells me to wear a bra when her boyfriend comes over as i usually don't wear one around the house. ive asked her why and she'll never give me a reason, is this normal? it's my house and i live here, he doesn't so why must i wear a bra for him? background~ it doesn't make me angry but it does annoy me a lot, at the begining of their relationship, about 3 yrs ago, she asked me if i liked him (in a romantic way) and i said no obviously not. im not this dudes biggest fan anyway, he hasn't got good communication skills irl and calls my mom like 5 times a day on her cell and if she doesn't answer that he'll call the house phone until someone picks up. he wanted to move in with us (me, 2 brothers and mom) but my mom doesn't want him to and neither do i or my brothers. id be seriously suicidal if he moved in. either way, i don't understand why i need to do it, any insighy would be helpful ;) | mom, her boyfriend, bras & me 17f | 7816yw | that's the best reddit title i've seen. like a movie title. do what you want!your mom just doesn't want him to be relating to you as a sexual being, which going braless could trigger. | relationship_advice | 7816yw |
my brother is in the hospital with liver failure due to alcohol. his meld is 38. he is 46 years old and he seems to think that he can survive this. while i admire his courage, i understand this is fatal. but i cannot understand how long he has left with a meld of 38. i have heard 2 days, i have heard a year...... any help is greatly appreciated. i know no one can tell me the day he will die... duh. but may something more specific than 2 days to a year? i need to know how much time i have with my brother, so i can make the most of it. thank you all from the bottom of my heart. * 42 * m * 6 2 * 160 * w * 6 years * liver * meld 38, cirrhosis, rapid weight loss, jaundice, paracentesis, pancreatitis * dialysis and pain meds | brother dying of liver failure. questions on life expectancy. | c8pfkv | getting an answer from the team involved is he best answer. based on meld, he has about a one in five chance of surviving 90 days. | askdocs | c8pfkv |
i'm having issues with relationships with women that i want to fix. i guess some of the big issues include introducing women i'm dating to my mother/family. i'm not sure if this is considered "intimacy" but i'm asking what kind of therapist would be able to assist? ​ thanks | need help deciding what kind of therapist to see | f6eec7 | any kind of therapist really. everyone works differently though and not every therapist is the best fit for every individual. if you've never been in therapy before, i'd say try to find a therapist with demographics you feel like you'd be the most comfortable talking to. ie. age, gender, race, etc. some folks are more comfortable with therapists around their same age, some prefer older. some have no preference. be honest with yourself in regards to these things and browse some profiles online of therapists near you. go with the one whose description of how they work seems like they have a personality that you would feel comfortable with. | askatherapist | f6eec7 |
hi everyone! i'm new to 12 steps and an atheist. from what i can understand, steps 2 and 3 basically boils down to giving up the illusion of having control over my addiction. my addiction is totally illogical. i realize trying to manage it doesn't work and i need help. i just give up control, get out of isolation and get help. what do i need a 'power' out there for? | confused about steps 2 and 3 | 4apm6x | here's a "rewritten 12 steps" you might enjoy. can't remember where i saw it originally but it was interesting enough for me to keep around: step 1: i'm in a mess and over my head. step 2: maybe i don't have all the answers, so i'll ask for help. step 3: decide to pay attention to advice given. step 4: take an honest look at how i've been living my life. step 5: tell someone else about my unhealthy lifestyle and harm to others. step 6: decide to live a healthier, kinder life. step 7: make specific changes toward that goal. step 8: list everyone i have hurt. step 9: have the courage to tell them i'm sorry & make amends, except if doing so would cause harm. step 10: keep an eye on myself, alert to old thinking and behaviors. step 11: be aware of the beauty in the world and people. step 12: pass on to others the kindness extended to me. | atheisttwelvesteppers | 4apm6x |
age: 17 sex: female height: 5’2 weight: 70kg race: caucasian medication: contraceptive pill i’ll try to keep this brief, but my phobia is of stickers. i find it hard to call it a phobia as there is no inherent fear, but a pure, internal disgust. it’s not just stickers, it can be magazines, shiny paper, letters, postcards, small bits of paper, foil, something stuck to something else, bottle sleeves, wet paper, etc. basically, things that are everywhere and you cannot avoid. my eyes will be drawn to them like looking at a car accident and it becomes especially worse if i’m eating, i feel physically sick. i’ve tried to cure myself before by putting a sticker on my tongue and threw up, thinking/saying/hearing the word “sticker” makes me cringe hard with disgust. i’ve had this phobia for as long as i can remember, some of my most early memories was trying to avoid stickers at school, home, preschool, etc. i thought it would get better as i grew older but i’m almost 18 and the word still horrifies me. it’s becoming more and more difficult to deal with as the phobia has seemingly been expanding to encompass those i’ve listed above and it’s become a massive hinderance in my life. if something does manage to stick to me, i feel a sort of phantom touch and it won’t go away until i’ve scrubbed my skin with soap or eventually get distracted. i’m at the point i don’t know what to do, sellotape is seemingly the only thing i can handle due to necessary constant exposure throughout my life, but this is only when the tape is clean and smooth. as soon as it sticks to something i feel distress. so my question is, is this abnormal and is there anything i can do about it? (sorry about the double post). | my phobia that crippled my life | ccjipa | i'm a psychiatrist. this is ocd. the most effective treatment is a combination of medication (usually an ssri antidepressant at a relatively high dosage) plus a form of cognitive behavior therapy called exposure response therapy. it works pretty quickly. so do see a psychiatrist and a psychologist who specializes in this treatment modality. kudos for reaching out, by the way! | askdocs | ccjipa |
hi, i'm a male and was prescribed 0,25mg xanax (pfizer) as needed to treat stress and anxiety but i looked on the internet and medication label says you shouldn't exceed 8 weeks of use. my question is if if i take it for like 6 weeks is there still any risk of withdrawal symptoms or dependence ? thank you. | question about xanax addiction/withdrawal symptoms | c3bfvd | there is potential—in medicine there is almost nothing that is always or never, including this statement, hence the "almost"—but at such a small dose the risk is low. if you take it as needed and aren't needing it every day, multiple times per day, i have relatively low concern. | askdocs | c3bfvd |
hey guys, when i was diagnosed with pcos my doctor said that i could take metformin along with my method of bc (nuvaring) if i wanted, and i opted not to because i don't really mind the hairiness... but as i look more into it, it seems that there's more to metformin than what i initially thought? what have been you guys' experiences with the drug, and when would you recommend taking it? | metformin for "mild" pcos case? | 3l9ay5 | my general understanding is that pcos symptoms are caused by insulin resistance. this means that your body doesn't respond to insulin the way it should, and so your pancreas has to go into overdrive to produce way more insulin so that it can elicit what would be the normal, "physiological" response. this also means that even if your blood glucose or a1c are normal, your body is probably producing way too much insulin to keep your blood glucose levels where they are (which, at the moment, is normal). the problem with your body producing way too much insulin is that insulin itself sets off lots of other signals in the body, which is why your testosterone and lh and fsh are all out of wack. metformin works by improving insulin sensitivity, which means that your pancreas won't have to work so so hard to produce so much insulin just to keep your blood glucose within normal range. with less insulin floating around in your system, rouge signals won't be sent to the rest of your endocrine system to mess up your monthly cycles, etc, and so you could very well see a symptomatic benefit in your pcos symptoms. the latest medical research shows that pcos patients, regardless of weight or symptom severity, generally benefit from metformin. you don't have to be overweight to take metformin, because you don't have to be overweight to have insulin resistance. the reason why low-carbohydrate diets are better in pcos is probably because low-carb diets tend to prompt the body to produce less insulin (or at least, not experience dramatic spikes in insulin secretion) so you don't have insulin triggering all the other effects it has on testosterone and other androgens, etc. side effects of metformin include gi upset and diarrhea, but this sometimes can be alleviated by taking it with food / taking it at a regular time each day. most pcosers around here generally seem to have figured out a strategy! | pcos | 3l9ay5 |