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* age: 19 * sex: m * height: 5' 9'' * weight: 135 lb * race: white * duration of complaint: \~4 months * location: nc, + psychiatric * any existing relevant medical issues: depression * current medications: wellbutrin 300mg xl, propranolol 20mg prn, sumatriptan 25mg prn hi guys! i've done some research on trazodone and i'm basically wondering what the dosage would be to help with anxiety and very mild lingering depression. i am on 300mg xl of wellbutrin daily in the morning and propranolol 20mg prn. propranolol has helped with physical manifestations of depression when i need it to—going to a party, delivering a presentation, meeting someone new, etc. but hasn't done anything to stop the thought loops that cause anxiety. my anxiety is generalized and pretty mild as far as anxiety goes; there's no panic attacks or anything, but it can be quite annoying. wellbutrin has not exacerbated this anxiety. at first we thought it was a side effect of depression, but as the depression went away, the anxiety stayed. my depression is mostly gone (wellbutrin is a wonder drug!) but i'll still have a few days where i feel very meh. i suppose my question is... can trazodone remedy these problems? i know it's an antidepressant of its own right and lacks the side effects of most serotonergic antidepressants, and i know that in low doses it'll also treat my insomnia. however, my question for reddit is— at low doses (20 or 50mg) it treats insomnia. what dosage do you think would be appropriate for especially anxiety, but also mild lingering depression? 75mg? 100mg? 200mg? and any recommendations for going up to this? my psychiatrist is booked and has given me approval to ask a plain old internist for a trazodone script and has said that i should ask for a 200mg script and figure out dosages on my own by splitting up pills—we've done this before, it's no biggie. i'd like some advice. thanks guys! | trazodone for anxiety + mild depression? | cfbydk | you could try trazodone, but it wouldn't be my first thought. actually, that would be increasing your dose of wellbutrin xl. for all its reputation of worsening anxiety, the actual evidence seems to show that it's effective in treating anxiety, and anxiety often responds at higher doses than depression. my second plan would be to try an ssri mostly because there's stronger evidence that they help with anxiety and many have overall lower side effect burden than trazodone, which has the serious limiting factor that doses high enough to do more than put you to sleep also leave a significant number of people taking it groggy all the time. | askdocs | cfbydk |
i'm so confused as what i should do. morality wise i k ow i should leave my relationship. it's so hard because i love him so much. but he lies and it's at the point where why bother. even if i wanted out, i feel as it would be so hard to even make the first move. i work and take care of us and i feel like i'm being taken advantage of, which i am. i feel bad for him because he has no one. well at that, neither don davies the minute i stated dating him i lost everyone in my life. ugh. i need help.. | when is it ok to say enough.. | 64akir | lying is a bad quality.....i'd say enough | relationship_advice | 64akir |
i applied to six graduate schools. i was rejected from four, one was on the fence (rutgers), and one offered me admission (fau, which i now attend). on every application, i indicated i was only interested in admission if i could get funding. much to my dismay, i didn't get a teaching assistantship my first semester at fau, but was promptly offered one for the second semester after getting a 4.0 and generally being active in class. it was later revealed to me, both by a faculty member and an administrator, that the reason i wasn't offered funding the first semester was because i mentioned asperger's in my letter of intent, commenting on how it was central to some of the struggles i had had in undergraduate, but that i was able to overcome those struggles with persistence and the help of several of my professors. additionally, and most insultingly, both the professor and the administrator said something along the lines of "going back and looking at your application, we would have never guessed that applicant was you. you didn't act out of the ordinary at all." they also both advised i not mention the diagnosis on any applications to ph.d. programs after finishing my m.a. now, i have been careful about not overreacting. by offering that last bit of advice, they were, in their own minds, helping me. in fact, they were probably *actually* helping me, but only because of the rampant ignorance about the disorder, despite its increasing recognition. obviously, i wasn't disruptive or inappropriate in class, because adults with asperger's seldom, if ever, are. but the fact that they think i could get a b.s., while tutoring as an employee of my academic department for four years, and not be capable of leading discussion sections, proves that they have some extreme misconceptions. i don't plan on retaliating, and i think doing so would only exacerbate the situation, which has mostly dissipated at this point. but it's a cautionary tale for those who would be presumptuous in assuming that ignorance can't lead people to unfair and damaging judgments. | my college debt is $14,000 higher than it would be otherwise because i revealed my diagnosis | 2552j0 | playing devil's advocate: what if you had never used the word asperger's in your letter of intent, but described all of the same challenges you had in undergrad? would they have wanted you for the assistantship? probably not. would they have offered you one after seeing you prove your potential? obviously, yes. it seems to me like they might have judged you by your self-described challenges and not by your diagnosis alone. diagnosis or not, challenges/weaknesses/struggles/difficulties should be considered for job applicants. an an employer doesn't have to give someone with a documented disability a job that they probably can't do. if they were basing the decision on your self-described shortcomings, what did they do wrong? | aspergers | 2552j0 |
it makes me feel horrible and anxious but will this process of ignoring and getting on with what i’m doing help? | am i doing the right think just letting the thoughts sit in my brain and stopping fighting against them? | i1okrm | yes fighting against thoughts doesn’t work and just increase the likelihood the thoughts will come back around. it’s very hard but stick with it and you’ll really the payoff. | ocd | i1okrm |
i’m so tired guys. could’ve gone to bed ages ago if i just go brush. what frustrating situations do you get yourself into on a regular basis? | being super tired but you can’t go to bed without brushing your teeth. but too tired to get up to brush your teeth so you just lay in bed for hours. | h037af | the same thing but with being hungry. | adhd | h037af |
hello. i'm posting this on a throwaway. my brother is 16 years old. he has aspergers, and perhaps some neurological disorder but we are not sure. i am 10 years older than my brother. i will admit i don't know very much about aspergers, i only know that he was diagnosed with it a few years ago, and he has shown signs of it since he was very young. i see him at least once a month, but not enough to spend a lot of quality time with him that i'd like. my parents are divorced. my brother lives with my mom. he sometimes sees my father, but only to go do something fun and he doesn't help raise him. so he basically doesn't have a father in that sense. it has been difficult with my brother ever since he hit puberty. he does not seem to able to control his impulses, and has been caught at school masturbating in front of people, and tends to ogle women very inappropriately. his social skills are very bad, he doesn't have any real friends. he's kind of growing up to be a creep as much as i hate to say it. he means very well, but because of how he acts it can be very difficult for him to have a normal conversation. it's like one moment he is extremely focused, and the next he is off on another planet. he also tends to repeat himself many many times over. his biggest problem though is that even though he may know some things that he thinks of doing are wrong, he does them anyway. and later on he doesn't understand why he did it even though he knew that. just recently this problem hit its tipping point - he was caught at a local gym exposing himself to a woman who called the police. he is now no longer allowed there and will be arrested if he enters the premises again. my mother said she saw the tape from the police officer who visited our house, and she doesn't think he did it on purpose and neither does the officer, but that's still the situation. thankfully the victim isn't going to press charges after my mother spoke to her, although he is very lucky that she was understanding. but what this has culminated to is that my mother has decided that she needs help to stop him from going down this path. professional help from people who are experts in helping people with things like aspergers. he has a therapist, he's had one for years, but it has not been very effective. he's taken medications in the past, but i don't even know what they were for. bottom line is, i know nothing i say to my brother can magically fix this problem, and my mom is the only one who really raises him and spends the most amount of time with him, and she cannot handle these problems on her own anymore. she is looking for somewhere to send him for a few months to maybe get some professional help to adjust his behavior and send him on the right path. the thing is that i don't know if anything like this exists. i was hoping to seek some insight from people here as to what is the best course of action to help my brother. i don't even know if this is the right place to ask, and if it is not please guide me in the right direction. i just want what is best for my brother and my mother, and i know that we can't do this on our own anymore, and if we don't get him help then this will get worse and he could end up in jail, which would be a horrible and dark place for my brother who only has his family and no one else. i just want my brother to be able to make the right decisions for himself, to have friends and lead a normal life. he's getting older and i feel like he's missing out on a lot because of his problems. he's a good kid, but he has issues that i know myself or my mother cannot help him with as well as someone else out there might be able to. thanks for reading, and i am grateful for any advice. | how can i help my brother before it's too late? | 24jbt5 | it sounds like you need a social worker to help you locate local services. if you share your city, i will see if i can find anyone/anything. behavioral and social skills groups exist and some of them are very intensive. the public exposure thing isn't really a common thing with aspergers. he may have autism of a higher severity or a separate disorder that has not been diagnosed. | aspergers | 24jbt5 |
my 10 year old son has always been busy...even in the womb! flash forward to 4th grade! i feel like i'm at a breaking point. i'm a divorced single mother of 2 and this is very stressful. the phone calls that i get at work...notes home..low test scores...inability or down right refusal to cooperate with homework...phone calls and pleading with dad for assistance are unproductive and i have no idea what to do!! i'm depressed and quite frankly i believe he is as well. adderall xr 5mg produced voices. teachers have other students to focus and my patience has been run ragged. where do i go...what do i do?? | can't take another phone call | 9ahzgx | oh dear. could you homeschool and work or would you get a tutor? i know how hard it is emotionally for the kids...not to mention the parents ! | adhd | 9ahzgx |
i know there are instances of people's minds doing certain things to protect them. whether it's creating a personality, a person separate from yourself, a voice, visions, etc. i just finished an appointment with my psychiatrist and she mentioned that one of the goals with me is to bring down stress and strong negative emotions so that it doesn't cross the border into psychosis since i mentioned that i don't hear voices per se but a very angry, negative version of myself that i don't exactly feel the same as. does that happen often? i know it happens, but should i be worried? i love my psychiatrist, by the way, she didn't scare me. i'm just curious because i remember a post here some time ago where a person mentioned that they were so lonely, their mind created a friend of sorts. the friend never did anything bad, they were just there. | can stress and strong emotions manifest into psychosis? | fh1r9k | people with stress/trauma symptoms can get psychotic-like symptoms, though fortunately not a severe and enduring psychotic illness like schizophrenia. | mentalhealth | fh1r9k |
so, i have been trying to post this for a couple weeks. and i am really embarrassed about having this phobia. if that is what you want to call it. it is really starting to hurt me talking to girls and even just normal interactions with women. and i know as soon as i say what my phobia is, 99% of people are kind of going to smirk and laugh. but i just don't know how to fix it, i have been fighting it for about ten years now. i even made a throwaway because i am so embarrassed by it. ~ i have a phobia of painted nails and fake nails. just typing out the words gives me chills. i don't know what caused it, i don't know why i have it, and it causes me so much embarrassment and pain to know it, that it kills me inside. a girl with non-painted nails i will act normal and have absolutely no problem being around. but if she has painted nails, its like all i can focus on, its all i can think about, i thought at first i was just not attracted to them, and that was all it was. but when i started nearly having a panic attack because that black lady with 5inch nails is giving me change, and i know i have to be around it, i knew it was no longer about attraction. ~ fingers seem to be worse then feet, feet kind of gross me out, but i can deal with those changing every couple of days and not having a problem. and im not grossed out by feet in general. my boss is always painted, changes it every few days. and i actually have a super hard time talking to her or even being around her, because she likes to pat people on the shoulder while talking to them, or on the back, and i can be in the middle of a sentence and as soon as she pats me on the shoulder i almost freeze in the brain. ~ now i can usually just ignore it, for years i did, just don't think about it, don't tell anyone, if i don't tell anyone then they wont make a big deal out of it, and ill just pretend im normal in this regard and nobody will know. but now that im trying to find a gf again, and trying dating sites, its almost like, any girl that i see that has multiple pictures of nails painted, i almost lose attraction? that's probably not the best way to say it, but i know if they do it a lot, that it will stress me out later on in the relationship, so i don't even try. i thought i was getting better at dealing with this but i am here now so i guess not. ~ and i have thought about getting help, but i don't think i could get myself to say any of this in person. let alone tell my parents why im going to therapy. i would have to hide behind the fact that im depressed, and just stick with that story. ~ i have tried to tell a few of my girlfriends, out of faith that they wouldn't make a big deal of it. thinking, we both love each other, and we can share our secrets and what we are scared of right? nope i was wrong. they promised not to make a big deal of it, and they were intrigued at first, and tried to understand. some would stop doing their nails for me, and although deep down i loved it, i told them to stop. i wanted them to be them, and not change who they were, that it was my own problem and ill deal with it myself. and i thought that was the end of it, but no, in fact, they began to take jabs at me. make fun of me, in their own way, thinking it was funny and i would be ok with it. one would try to make me pick what color she got at the salon, and when i said i would not discuss it, she would decide that whenever i needed help on a decision, she would pull the "you wouldn't help me at the salon so i wont help you here" card. ~ which made me feel any worse, im trying not to have a panic attack because of the salon question, and she equals it out to what do i cook for dinner. this is basically why i don't tell anyone and no longer look for help in person, because everyone i have ever told has began to make fun of me for it, or take small jabs at me. "oh here is the ketchup, don't worry i wont hand it to you because i know you don't like my nails". which is completely unprovoked and uncalled for, had nothing been said i would have thought about it for thirty second and been over it, but they bring it up with a small jab and then im freaking out about that and if they are mad at me as well for the rest of my night. ~ i feel like there is more that scares me, but i know this is a long jumbled mess, and i am sorry about that. i am starting to have a small panic attack thinking about all of the memories and stuff. i really would like to hear from a woman(s) perspective that doesn't involve making me feel degraded and making fun of me for a small laugh. if you guys would like to know more i am sure i have more to tell, but like i said this is a small novel as it is, and i don't know if i will get any replies for the length. ~ thankyou - this was copy and pasted so if there is anything that sounds like it was meant for someone else. that is why. | i kind of have a phobia that is hurting my dating life. i could use some opinions. | 347vbi | man, this is tough and i'm sorry you're going through this. you seem to have the misfortune of having a phobia that is uncommon and specific enough that others see it as trivial or even funny. this is likely why girlfriends thought it was ok to poke fun of you. in fact, i remember some daytime talk show used to do episodes featuring people with "strange" phobias (i.e. pickles, kittens, etc.) as a woman (and psychologist), i can tell you that phobias often don't make sense, and many people suffering don't know the cause/origin. when you get down to it, it doesn't really matter what the phobia is, because most are maintained and can be treated the same way. phobias are reinforced by the person's avoidance of said object/scenario. every time you avoid the fear, the anxiety goes away, subsequently "rewarding" the avoidance. and so the cycle begins. some effective phobia treatments include imagined or real-life exposure exercises. these typically involve learning how to really relax your body and mind, and then gradually (or abruptly in some forms of treatment) introducing some of the feared stimulus. for example, you might progress through stages of imagining someone with painted nails across the room... then painted nails handing you change... then holding hands with painted nails... then perhaps actually practicing coming into contact with painted nails in real life. a mental health professional can lead you through this process at a pace you are comfortable with. anyway, it sounds like you're tired of this fear getting in the way of living your life. good news is, it's very treatable! | advice | 347vbi |
26 male, 6'1 , 220lbs, eastern european. medications include lostartan/hydrochlorothiazide , carvedilol, sertraline bromazepam, promazine, nitrazepam. ​ are these normal for my conditions? also, should they be making me tired during the day? | are the normal medications for high bp and mdd/gad? | d2zpui | losartan, hydrochlorothiazide, and carvedilol are all standard medications for blood pressure and a common combination. sertraline is a standard long-term treatment for mdd and gad. bromazepam and nitrazepam are both benzodiazepines and are sedating. they can make you tired. it's usually not recommended to take two different benzodiazepines. in fact, it's usually not recommended to take any benzodiazepines long-term, although sometimes it's the best option. that's a conversation to have with your doctor. promazine is a medication that hasn't been available in the usa for some time, so i don't have much familiarity with it. it might be used as an additional medication for depression. i can't say whether that's common or not or effective or not. | askdocs | d2zpui |
this is the longest i've gone in 3 years now, day 3 is usually the day i fuck up. day 1 was a nightmare, i was absolutely seething. day two was much the same. day 3 i started taking campral, and things were a bit better, i actually got some sleep and my appetite returned (holy shit, i'm always hungry now). today is day four, and i'm determined not to drink. i'm still waiting until 6pm up take my campral as it makes me drowsy, so i just need to hang in there until then and i'll have made it another day. how are you guys doing? tiwndwy | 4 days sober, 2 days on campral | gkuh5a | congrats! day 7 here. aa is helping me so much. (i know aa is not for everyone.) for today, i will not drink. one day at a time. | stopdrinking | gkuh5a |
i've (27m) been dating this girl (23f) for a few weeks now and things have progressed well. we click on every single level imaginable. we both talk about how well we click. i've been in love since day 1. she's everything i could have wanted to find and so much more. i waited a few weeks and decided what the hell. i'll put it out there, if that's how i feel there's no reason to hide it. so i waited for her to come over and spelled out "i love you" with rose petals on the bed. she was surprised, shocked, couldn't believe i had done that for her was visibly very happy about it. i told her i just wanted to make the first time i told her to be memorable. we cuddled and talked for awhile and she looked at me and said "i hope you know i feel the same way about you, i just can't say it." sooo did i just fuck up by putting it out there too soon? | i told her i loved her, she said she felt the same but couldn't say it. | 8ghjbn | telling someone you love them after a few weeks is fine. her response is fine. not everybody can just toss it out there. but the rose petal stuff is ridiculous and would make a lot of women question whether your ideas about love and romance are practical or insane. | relationship_advice | 8ghjbn |
i read 5 litres? of blood is normal.. my weight is 110 lbs.. so that works out to 30 something litres of blood/hemoglobin protein i have no symptoms though.. but i do have raynard's disease and my heart beats too fast but this was attributed to rheumatic fever since my heart symptoms came on after that. the bi scales..they have little digital icons to represent the %s. a bicep for muscle, globs for fat %, a dog bone for bone mass %, and three wavy veins to represent blood. the highest number was the blood one. my mom has blood cancer.. she produces too many red cells. i have cancer marker blood test every year, and they always come back negative but i'm unsure of what to do, should i bring this up to a doctor or am i ok if it isn't causing bad symptoms? i get headaches often but i do get stressed out a lot lately so it could be that..but my blood % has risen over the years, back when i was 18 it was around 45% i'm 24 now it's gone up another 20%, could this be early sign of cancer? i am worried about my health a lot my temperature is normal and i am due for cancer marker test in a few months. is there a name for my condition? | i just used my bi (bio impedance) scales and 65% of my body mass is blood.. is that too high? | b2a7xf | it is not possible in any condition to have 65% of your weight be blood. that's not alarming, it's absurd. the only item on my differential diagnosis is poorly made or poorly calibrated impedance scale. | askdocs | b2a7xf |
so i’m 25 and for the past year, usually when i’m left with my own thoughts, i begin to think about the inevitability of death... i know it’s a morbid subject but i start sweating and finding it hard to breathe when i think about how life just ends... like we just die. it sometimes gets to the point where i can’t sleep. there’s even moments when i’m in a social setting and my mind just wanders down a dark road and i realise that everyone i love will eventually die. i really don’t know what’s going on. is this something i should see a therapist about? is this normal? didn’t know where to post this so apologies if this is the wrong place... | my fear of death is killing me! | fe5yv0 | act would be good, but i'd argue that finding an existential therapist would probably suit you better. your fears are completely justified. the fact that you, me, and everyone we love are all going to die some day and we have no idea if there is or isn't anything after we die is terrifying. most folks just live in blissful ignorance of this fact. like you, when many start to think about the reality of this it can feel crushing and debilitating. the goal of existential therapy, especially in the way i work, is to take some of these concepts that can be incredibly terrifying aspects of existence into beautiful and motivational realities. for example. the person who lives in ignorance that they and everyone they love with one day die and possibly that's just it, may be a much bigger procrastinator. they may be the type of person who lacks perspective and goes to pieces over small stressors. they may have a harder time letting go of grudges with people that they actually do care about. when you accept but don't block out the existential reality of death, it can be very empowering rather than debilitating. does take some work to get there though. | askatherapist | fe5yv0 |
hi 👋 ive lurked for a while looking at inspirational posts wishing that was me writing that if not drank for a year...well i’m finally going to take charge of my life and stop being a slave to addiction. short intro, i’m a mum of three gorgeous boys one of which isn’t a year old. i didn’t drink a drop during pregnancy but once i had him - boom 💥 i stupidly had that first drink thinking i will be able to moderate now. a mistake we have all made i’m guessing. i now drink pretty much every evening, amount vary’s could be a glass of wine/bottle, bottle plus spirits on weekends. however i remember how great i felt whilst being pregnant, how my shocking memory improved, how i dealt with stress, the amazing sleep, the general feeling of proper happiness! determined to get that back...hopefully with the help of you guys to get me through the rough times. i know i can do it and have the drive to see it through so let’s do this! eek scared and excited at the same time | lurker for ages finally taking the plung | 8m0esx | well done. my grumpiness is sky high too. over the weekend i even started to think that i was less grumpy with alcohol and maybe i should drink for that reason.. distorted thinking at its best !! iwndwyt. | stopdrinking | 8m0esx |
hello! i've been dating my girlfriend now for almost 3 years. after only a few months of dating, she slithered herself into my apartment and moved in. i didn't care too much as i figured it would help me financially and we got along quite well. she has student loans, a lot of them. i believe it will take 15-20 years at her current rate to pay them off. she has no plan to use her education whatsoever as she doesn't want to pursue that career anymore. she works a couple jobs, one is full time, the other is part time. she barely makes enough to pay her own bills. the problem is that she pays for nothing in our life together. no rent, bills, entertainment or food. once in a great while she will hand me some cash for groceries, maybe 3 times a year. i wouldn't have a problem with this if she took over duties in the home like cleaning and cooking. but no, i do everything. if i don't, it will never get done. she complains about cleaning and prefers me cooking or ordering food. she's really pushing for marriage. for over a year, she always mentions it or creates an argument about it. to her it's only about love, that if you really love someone, you marry no matter what. i do agree with that, but if i will be supporting us for the next 2 decades, i do not feel comfortable doing so. she has sort of looked for a better job, but doesn't have much ambition to do so. she always says she feels bad that i spend money for both of us every time we go out, but complains that we never do anything. i can't stand always buying for two. younger me fell into credit debt and i'm paying it off now but it's difficult having to do this all by myself with her living for free. it wasn't until recently that she borrowed money from me to pay her student loans that i don't think i'll ever get back. i hate making the relationship seem like it's about money, but i don't want to work my life away to support someone else that has no input. we've talked about this multiple times. ive always expressed my concerns in a reasonable manner and given her time to try before bringing it up again. am i wrong for feeling this way? | i'm [30/m] in an aggravating situation with my girlfriend [29/f] of almost 3 years. am i doing this right? | 6s5ps5 | you have a right to a mature so | relationship_advice | 6s5ps5 |
my mother has reactive hypoglycemia and while i’ve never gotten an official diagnosis it is normal for me to eat when i feel like i need to (regardless of hunger) or get shaky. i didn’t eat for 4 hours and decided to test myself for the first time just to see if my suspicion was correct (and also because i am going to start regularly counting because becoming diabetic is a legitimate concern right now) and in the middle of shakes, sweat, and irritation i got 96 mg/dl. i generally just want to know why or how i could have gotten a normal reading with the correct symptoms, not a diagnosis or anything, i’ll get that soon enough. | i felt like i had low blood sugar but my reading was normal (96 mg/dl)? (not diabetic or at least not diagnosed, 17 year old ftm on hrt for a year, mildly overweight). | bpj1tj | hypoglycemia produces a reliable pattern of symptoms, but those symptoms are not reliably due to hypoglycemia. in your case they appear not to be. feeling shaky is a normal response to hunger as well, and you should not become hypoglycemic unless you have diabetes and lack the ability to appropriately regulate blood sugar (or are undergoing prolonged starvation). | askdocs | bpj1tj |
this semester i joined a club on campus in an effort to make more friends after a few very lonely semesters in university. i have made friends outside of this club before, but they always have such dissimilar interests from me and i always find it hard asking them to hang out outside of class due to this. i chose a club that had like-minded people with whom i felt i had a lot in common, and i thought that i would finally be able to be myself and have fun again. however, after 3 months of going to club events and making small talk but always being the wallflower in events full of extroverted people (i'm an introvert) who already know each other extremely well or who somehow manage to fit right in even though they're new, i still can't seem to connect with them the way they do with each other. i am beginning to wonder if i should just accept it as fate that i am not able to click with people who i thought were the most similar to me. my gut instincts tell me to stop making myself miserable and forcing myself to go alone to club events i don't enjoy, and try and find friends elsewhere. on the other hand, i'd really hate to quit after such a short time and deep down i still feel that if only i had the chance to get to know them well, i would have a lot of fun with them. the only problem is that they are already so comfortable with their social groups that it is hard as an outsider to break in. reddit, what should i do - stick it through and continue going to events that i don't enjoy in the hopes of getting to know some of these people better, or forget it all and seek friends elsewhere? tl;dr joined club with like-minded people, feel like only one that can't make friends, miserable but still feel like i should stick it out. what should i do? edit: every single thing said in this thread was extremely helpful and helped me figure out what i truly wanted deep down inside. thanks everyone for the excellent advice. upvotes for you all. | i joined a club and feel like an outsider. help! | 13439x | try to connect with one person at a time. if you only interact with people in a group, it's hard to really feel connected. so pick the person in the group that you feel you get along with the best, and ask them to hang out outside the group. spend a little time with them and get a friendship going, and you will feel much more included in the group. | socialskills | 13439x |
i have been diagnosed with adjustment disorder about 6 months ago, and have been searching for info occasionally since because i want to help myself get better. the doctors are claiming that it 'all kicked off' after a sudden family death and a huge upheaval in my family life in the space of 4 days, which is true but that isn't when it all started. that was just the point i though 'shit, i need help'. anyway, out of the few bits and bobs i have read i'm finding some similarities between adjustment disorder and borderline personality disorder. such as the reckless behviour/impulsivity, chronic feelings of emptiness, and self destructiveness. i also know it has been said that a diagnosis of an adjustment disorder is often given as a placeholder when doctors/psychiatrists don't want to diagnose anything specific. i wondered if anyone with a bit more experience around mental health disorders knows of any actual connections between the 2 disorders (such as in the dsmv-5) or whether i am just imagining and drawing lines between 2 unrelated things. but as i said above i have only read a few things and could be completely wrong. thanks in advance! | adjustment disorder and borderline personality disorder | eiysic | therapist here. adjustment disorder and bpd are two wildly different things. there may some small overlap in symptoms, but their presentation is vastly different. in the dsm-5, adjustment disorder is under the umbrella of trauma disorders, and relates to a specific trigger within a period of more than 1 month but less than 6 months, and consists of symptoms related to anxiety and a small trauma response. there may be some other symptoms associated (that's what the qualifiers are for) but that is the base. generally, functioning is mildly to moderately impaired (work, school, adls, socializing, etc.). adjustment disorder tends to have more in common with something like ptsd (diagnosed after 6 months of trauma symptoms). bpd has shown to have some co-morbidity with ptsd, which may find some drawing connections between that and adjustment disorder, but it is a personality disorder with chronic, persistent behaviors, thought processes, and underlying beliefs that make up it's presentation. one at times might say that presentation of bpd can be indirectly caused by a trauma disorder, but adjustment disorder does not persist long enough nor is it typically severe enough to cause changes in personality on its own. mental health professionals may diagnose adjustment disorder in order to lessen stigma associated with more major diagnoses, and sometimes it fits better than the more vague ones. also, if using insurance, companies will cover adjustment disorder more than they will cover the vague depression and anxiety disorder diags. so it also does increase access to care. there are definitely legitimate presentations of adjustment disorder, though. | mentalhealth | eiysic |
today my therapist finally explained to me why she doesn't think i have adhd. i've told her about my somewhat dysfunctional upbringing, and of course about all my symptoms now as an adult, which is everything i read about in this sub and more. guess what she finally told me? "it's clear to me that you just never learned all these things (cooking, cleaning, paying bills, getting stuff done) when you were growing up, so you will just need to learn these skills now as an adult instead." i mean... what?! i was so shook that i just sat there staring at her. i have never felt so misunderstood in my life... | wow... did my therapist just explain away all my adhd-symptoms by claiming i simply never learned how to cook/clean/be productive while growing up?! oh yes she did! | dwwhf4 | i think the problem people like this therapist have is that they don't quite believe their clients. | adhd | dwwhf4 |
i’m a 29 year old, 5’11” 155 lb single white male who’s a rising gemini, but you can just call me white male i was eating sushi and felt a sickening crunch when i fittingly bit into a crunch shrimp roll. i pulled a shard of glass out of my mouth and in an attempt to get another shard off my tongue, i swallowed it. which is actually not what i was trying to do. so before you comment “don’t swallow it next time dumbass”, it was a fucking accident, chad. 🇹🇩 how worried should i be? is there anything i should be doing to help the shard pass more easily? drinking lots of fluids, massaging my tummy, singing to it and giving praise and encouragement, playing mozart for it, etc? edit: after learning the actual size of a honeybee, i’d like to correct the record and say it was the size of a housefly. edit 2: not a horsefly | i just swallowed a jagged shard of glass, about the size of a honeybee. how worried should i be? | c5h6ni | inpatient psychiatrist here. i have patients who frequently swallow objects including glass and they are often physically fine even after swallowing multiple items over the course of weeks. oftentimes they are sent to the hospital only to come back without intervention. so usually we wait for symptoms. | askdocs | c5h6ni |
age: 22 weight: 73kg(160lbs) height: 175sm(5"9') before two years when i worked stressfull job i had brain fog, was lethargic and had anxiety issues. now i am studying only. as my life got more peaceful the symptoms reduced. as of now: 3 months ago i started dieting and going to the gym. i lost 10kg(22lbs). currently i feel better than before. but still i lack the energy my friends(same age) have. at the gym i feel weak, although i am lifting the same weights i used to when i was 10kg heavier. sometimes i get brain fog. the things i have changed bout my diet are: greatly reduced alcohol consumption. excluded beer appetizers like fried chicken skins, fatty pork cuts, bacon. i am eating more veggies and fruits than before and i am consuming meat on a daily basis(about 500g). i am varying the protein source between pork, eggs and chicken. i eat at about 1800ccal 120protein 60-80 fats 100 - 180 carbs. my doc says that he is not conserned about my b12 level being below the range. i have 168pgml the range is [190, 914]. my iron is ok. his opinion: maybe it is because you restrict yourself of certain foods or it is due to the change in diet. i am not conserned and i think your score is ok. if you decide to take b12, get some b12 drops. my opinions: i eat varying foods and consume meat daily so i think there is something wrong with the absorption of b12, not with the diet. so i think that taking oral drops will not change anything. i need b12 shots. i am attaching some of the test, only the b12 is out of range out of those(and the other things we tested) ---->WEBLINK what are your thoughts? and if you support my opinions, what dosage and how often should i get injected. | low b12 but i do not agree my doctors opinion. your thoughts? | 8fa4uz | if you had a serious absorption problem like pernicious anemia your b12 level would be much lower. i would recommend that you start by supplementing orally and retest in a few months. | askdocs | 8fa4uz |
my youngest child (7y) has trouble controlling his temper. it happens when he is asked to stop doing something he enjoys (usually videos or games, but has happened with other things), in order to do something else that needs to be done. the new thing, 9/10, is using the bathroom. it has gone from just general "i don't want to" to now where he punches, kicks, aggressively tickles, anything to fight back. he does not fight like this with his father; only me. we've tried rewards, consequences/grounding, key words to snap him out of the mood, and controlled breathing. i try to keep as calm as possible when he's doing it, but 7 year olds are surprisingly strong, and it's hard to stay calm when you're being hurt. he knows its wrong and feels terrible afterwards, but says he can't control it. some background. he's always been stubborn. never wanted to get up for school, get ready for bed, normal kid stuff, we thought. about a year ago he started arguing about going to the bathroom, as well. my mother died in the fall and we went to her funeral. he was very sad, of course, but seemed to be more curious of the process than angry about it. i have a feeling we were wrong. shortly afterwards his arguments became fights. small ones at first, but they've gotten progressively worse. they've now to the point where he will punch me, kick me, jump on me, tickle me (which i hate), and just do anything he can to fight. i'm posting here on a throwaway account because his father and i both fear seeing someone in person. we're concerned because he's become violent that cps/dhs will try to interfere and/or take him. we have a clean home, no abuse, no drugs or alcohol, nothing to be worried about other than a sometimes violent child. i've seen so many helpful suggestions all over reddit that i thought i should give it a shot. | struggles with a very angry child | hiw3xq | this is such a hard situation. it sounds like the entire family has had a hard time over the past few months. i strongly encourage you to take him to see an experienced child psychologist. it is unlikely cps would become involved if there is no abuse. and, if he was abused by someone outside your immediate family, it will need to be addressed. i know there are horror stories about families investigated for abuse when there is none, but the opposite is much more common (i.e. abuse not detected). experienced child psychologists are familiar with conduct issues and do a pretty good job discerning a child's behavior from abuse. they can also provide you with support, which is well deserved and important. if you do not address it now , it could turn into a problem with much more intrusive intervention. | askatherapist | hiw3xq |
"individuals with borderline personality disorder may have a pattern of undermining themselves at the moment a goal is about to be realized (e.g. dropping out of school just before graduation, regressing severely after a discussion of how well therapy is doing, destroying a good relationship just when it is clear that the relationship could last)." | perfect quote from dsm-5 | 7ghe1o | i hate all that language of blame and intent. and hate is a strong word. mad disrespect. | bpd | 7ghe1o |
i'm under aged and i'm worried that if i tell my doctor about my depression / anxiety problem he'll think i'm just searching for pills. i've tried counselling and that did nothing for me. what should i do/say? i just want to get better. | scared to talk to my doctor about my problem. | v3xqd | considering that you can't get high from anti-depressants, it's unlikely that your doctor will think you're drug seeking | depression | v3xqd |
i’m a male 24, 5’8, 11 stone, i stopped smoking about a month ago and haven’t drunk since also but before been social. on no medications. so i’ll try keep it short. i’ve had this weird constipation for around 6 months. narrow stools. only symptoms. it’s almost like i lost muscles in my butt and where i would feel myself pushing was in my stomach. been to multiple doctors and other day i went to hospital after they keep giving me laxatives and having to pay every time as you could understand isn’t the funnest. hospital doctor checks my blood and stool and says i have high cholesterol but other than that i’m fine. says he’s going to call it ibd for now? pretty blasé about diagnosing me. gives me constipation syrup and pills to lower cholesterol. can poop a bit easier i think but still? i’ll have to make another doctor appointment in about a week when it runs out. :( | doc says i have ibd but i believe it could be something else | bowutn | ibs (irritable bowel syndrome) and ibd (inflammatory bowel disease, such as crohn’s or ulcerative colitis) are very different. are you sure you have the right set of letters? | askdocs | bowutn |
21 male college student 5'10 140 lbs white symptoms: about two weeks location: san diego county (california) location on body: brain/mind medications: xanax, lexapro a couple weeks ago i faced an anxiety attack over a stomach irritation. the attack came after attending a 6-day leadership retreat which i didn't give myself enough sleep during (4-6 hrs) and involved a lot of focused interaction. i felt exhausted like i had finished my first half-marathon and laid down in bed. the next day i had diarrhea and i started to become worried that something really wrong was happening to me, i went to the er and a couple days later to the doctor, then a physcologist. first received adavin, but then got switched to xanax and lexapro. the medication seems to only work sometimes or i need a higher dosage. i take 1.5 mg of xanax and and 10 mg of lexaparo. i feel a similar pain as if i had experienced something that caused fear, guilt and anger. but it doesn't go away. i can get 9-12 hours of sleep but i still feel restless. when i have these attacks i feel like my body is about to collapse, or my mind is about to snap. i did blood and stool tests and everything came back normal. i am experiencing an attack right now. my breathing is under control but trying to take a deep breath makes me feel more anxious. i'm not sweating or having hot flashes. i don't have headaches, or pain in other parts of my body, but i feel like my brain is bleeding (if that even makes sense). the internal stress/anxiety is the most painful tortuous thing i've experienced. it has been exhausting these past couple of days to cope. i don't know how much more i can take. i have never experienced any trauma, used drugs or alcohol, or had any disorders aside from being falsely diagnosed with a minor learning disability. i have experienced much more stressful events in college, especially this last semester, but they never led to this kind of nearly impossible to control anxiety. i wasn't doing as much during the summer and the 6-day retreat was draining, but it didn't feel nearly as stressful as events earlier in the year. i have struggled with low level anxiety in social interactions and decision making , but it all that feels manageable compared to these attacks. i had a similar experience 5 years ago in late december but the feeling was somewhat different. everything felt dark and i thought i was about to go crazy, vomiting would temporarily relieve the pain. i had a few nights that were bad, i took prozac then zolaft and major attacks stopped within less than two years the symptoms seemed to have disappeared and i had assumed i moved passed it and nothing like this could happen again. as i've been typing this i've started to calm down. this instance was scary. i didn't want to attempt suicide but this was the closest i ever came to considering it. this attack lasted probably about 2 hours. i am communicating with my psychologist via email but i wanted to see if anyone had a diagnosis or has experienced these symptoms and how i can prevent these attacks from happening. | constant painful anxiety, fear, stress, restlessness. | 4z5rt7 | ever done any computerised cbt for depression/anxiety? try www.moodgym.org (free). also it might be worthwhile for your escitalopram dosevto be increased, or to switch if even the maximum dose doesn't help. | askdocs | 4z5rt7 |
before you answer, i want you to look at this times newspaper article about a motorcyclist who resorted to chopping his own arm off with a guillotine due to the immense pain from nerve damage after a motorcycle accident. [WEBLINK](WEBLINK) why aren't there treatments for this eighteen years into the 21st century? i have two family members with nerve damage and it is awful for them. just prescribing painkillers is not solving the problem, in fact it's causing other problems like addiction. | why have no (no painkiller) treatments yet been developed for permanent nerve damage, which is one of the most painful ailments we can suffer? | 8v2104 | why don't we have a cure for cancer? or the common cold? this is something that i'm sure is studied and worked on, but there is no one, obvious solution that we've stumbled on. medical science is not obvious and not quick. | askdocs | 8v2104 |
i mean, if a person were committed in state a, then, during that commitment, left for state b, would state b have any jurisdiction over that patient? would they be able to force that person to return to state a? | in america, what are commitment laws state-by-state? | 2kzn7x | the caveat here is that leaving the state while under court ordered treatment could be considered contempt of court, and get you put in jail, regardless of where you are. | mentalhealth | 2kzn7x |
so...here's the thing...i dropped out of high school at 16. i got a ged. i got ds and fs in high school and now i'm going to be starting college to get my degree in computer science so i can be a programmer...the problem is, going to college gives me such severe anxiety. i have this extreme phobia that i'm just too stupid to learn anything. like i just keep having these images in my head of me reading textbooks, listening to lectures and trying really hard to learn things but it just doesn't...stick...if that makes sense. i've had similar anxieties about learning new languages, like if i try to learn a second language i just won't be able to, like my brain won't process it. i just...i don't know...i can't fail college. i keep fearing i won't learn, i'll fail college which will make my girlfriend leave me and i can't go through that...i almost feel like i should just not bother with college and see if i can convince my girl to let me be a stay at home dad...but i don't think that will work, so i have no choice here... thanks for listening to my ramblings. if anyone can help, that would be appreciated. | college anxiety...i don't know what to do...i think i'm just too stupid to learn. | 3erllt | it is perfectly natural to be anxious about starting school. everyone from kindergarteners to first-year phd students get nervous about their new programs. think back to a time when you were anxious about something (possibly about going to school). was it as bad as you thought it would be? how did you cope with that situation? i highly doubt that you are too stupid to learn anything. that is your anxiety talking, that's not you. you had a rough time in high school it sounds like, but you got your ged. that is not as easy as many people make it out to be. college for most people has less to do with intelligence and more to do with motivation and perseverance. you might not get things right away, but it is more important that you keep trying and get into a routine. college is also about learning about yourself, becoming who you want to be, and networking with people who are going to be working in the same or similar field. if you think it would be helpful, most colleges have a counselor/advisor that is assigned to you and can help with some of the concerns you are having. perhaps that is something you would like to look into? | anxiety | 3erllt |
basically i was cleaning a long range communications dish from a system with about 20 kilowatts of power and someone accidentally turned on the transmitter. i felt like i hit in the chest with a baseball bat and was pushed off my feet onto my back (or maybe i fell from the pain, not sure). what did i actually feel since em radiation doesn’t have any mass? how many years off my life have i lost because of that? age at time, 20 sex, male height, 65 inches weight, 160lbs race, polish duration of complaint, approx 1 second. location, chest no relevant medical issues no current medications | i was hit in the chest with a 20 kilowatt blast of em radiation from a communications dish and felt like i was hit in the chest with a baseball bat, what did i actually feel? | 9opeep | i'm not a physicist or a doctor of the right type to really know here. i'm not even sure which specialty would have the right expertise. but just from my limited knowledge of radio waves, here's my best guess. radio waves don't have mass, but they do have energy. actually, relatively means that em radiation does have mass, but for most purposes it's negligible. electromagnetic radiation sounds fancy, but in fact it's just light outside the visible spectrum, or rather the em spectrum includes light. some wavelengths are dangerous because they are ionizing radiation and cause cancer; radio waves, which are usually what satellite dishes use, are not ionizing. instead, like light, what they carry is energy that usually gets deposited as heat, so it's possible that what you felt was a blast of brief but intense heat. as long as you didn't suffer any immediate burns it's very unlikely to have caused lasting harm; there's some possibility that radio waves have a link to cancer, but the evidence is not very conclusive and is based on long-term exposure, not getting very briefly but powerfully zapped. | askdocs | 9opeep |
*longish post* my sister is 31, 5ft 9, 70kg, healthy diet, has a 2 year old daughter her pregnancy was uneventful. she miscarried in may this year at 8 weeks pregnant and her issues began after that. apparently her miscarriage was ‘textbook’ but since then she has had irregular bleeds, sometimes no period for 8 weeks, then sometimes she’ll bleed for 10 days. she has had severe cramping most days, and really bad back pain. a pregnancy test recently showed up positive, but when she had her blood test, her hsg levels were normal meaning no pregnancy. her doctor arranged abdominal and transvaginal u/s which showed a couple of ovarian cysts and some ‘free fluid’ but not sure where the fluid is coming from. her blood tests came back pretty normal except for the ca125 (ovarian cancer marker) which was 110, then two weeks later when repeated was 135. she has now been referred to a gynaecologist oncologist and is completely petrified she may have cancer. our grandmother on our fathers side died from ovarian cancer in her early 60’s. any ideas, advice or what to expect next would be so appreciated. | my sister needs some answers, concerned she may have cervical / ovarian cancer. more below | 9v4iyv | ovarian cancer mostly appears in women in their sixties. before 40 would be extremely rare, especially without a family history suggesting a genetic disorder predisposing to early-onset cancers. benign ovarian cysts can raise ca-125, although i'm not sure to what degree; so can endometriosis. i wish your sister good luck with her appointment and hope that she gets some clear explanations then. | askdocs | 9v4iyv |
as much as i didn't want to go, and i almost called off, i made myself do it and it wasn't bad!! i feel so good about myself, i just wanted to share!! | i went back to work today after 2.5 months!!! | 66y94d | you're amazing. just went through this with someone else and i know it's really really tough. | anxiety | 66y94d |
so i'm a guy in high school. there was this girl that interested me. i approached her, and asked her if she wanted to meet up with me the next day to get to know each other better. that failed, and i didn't see her there the next day. now, i want to really get to know her because she seems cool. so r/socialskills, do i have another chance? and if so, how would i go about using that chance? thanks for the help. | screwed up, another chance? | 8ifkkh | best thing you can do is wait and let her approach you next. if she does, you still have a chance. if not, then move on. if you continuously try to contact/approach her you may come off as desperate which might kill any chance you may have had. if she does approach you and talk, give her your number and tell her to contact you if she ever wants to hang out or do something that's an interest you mutually share. best of luck! | socialskills | 8ifkkh |
they are happy and asleep, i joked around with them an hour ago and we were laughing and they were really happy. they love me. i love them. now i'm crying because they would be so sad if they knew how sad i am all the time. i'll never tell but i can't help to feel sorry for them, they deserve a happier child. paradoxical. edit: you're all amazing people with encouraging words. i don't think depression makes you a bad kid and i don't think i'm brave or amazing for hiding it from them, it's just that i want to try and cope on my own. i love those 2 people too much to make them worry about something they can't fully comprehend and wouldn't understand. but just because i'm scared of doing so with my parents doesn't mean it's a good thing. sharing is amazing, you just have to choose when and where will you share, and to whom. i shared here and it feels great. thank you for that. | i'm crying because i feel sorry for my parents | 397znb | counselor/father/son of a depressed mother here. the paradox is that talking to them is likely the first step in recovery for you. depression wants you to believe that you have to suffer alone, but as soon as you start to defy that notion, many find increased strength and hope. keeping it to yourself, for many people, is a recipe for continued suffering. i wish you the best, and i hope you find someone you're willing to reach out to. | depression | 397znb |
[so frustrating.](WEBLINK) my testosterone is high, im losing hair where i dont want to and gaining even more elsewhere not wanted. trying to get pregnant - so no birth control or spironolactone. so frustrated. | all i wanted to do was brush my hair... | 459vn2 | try nizoral shampoo. ketoconazole (topical. don't take oral ketoconazole!) is an anti-androgen. | pcos | 459vn2 |
i have been dating a boy for the past 2 months, i am looking to start getting into a deeper level of self disclosure with her. in my mind it seems easy but when i try and think of questions to ask to start deeper conversations i get hung up. does anyone have any ideas on 10 to 20 questions i can ask? seeing them in written form might help jump start my mind! thanks | what are 10 questions i can ask the boy i'm dating to promote a deeper level of disclosure? | 5pu9zs | i think most couples disclose too much and too deeply, too fast. please be more specific about the depths you're trying to reach. | relationship_advice | 5pu9zs |
hi guys, i'm looking for advice and this is really important to me. i've been taking citalopram (ssri) for a month and i switched to escitalopram last week. i'm quite young and don't have much sexual experience though i never had problems with getting and maintaing an erection. since i'm taking the meds it's really hard for me to get an erection even when masturbating, and if i do it's not full. i got a girlfriend a couple of weeks ago and she knows im on the meds and i have problem with getting an erection because of that but shes really insecure and still thinks its her fault i can't get off. i still orgasm but very rarely, yet the orgasms are satisfying. adding to that shes a virgin and she wants to have her first time with me yet i don't want to risk ruining it all because my penis can't work. do you have any advice? could i get something like viagra prescribed or will it have side effects coz im on the antidepressants? please understand that this gets me really frustrated as i am a young guy and never was much sexually active and just when i get a perfect ocassion with a girl i really like i can't be the 'man' that i would like to be. edit - sorry for my english, not my first language. | help please! depression (meds) and erectile dysfunction. | shl5d | i won't bore you with details, but ssris often have sexual side effects. basically, while increased serotonin is good for your mood, it also serves an inhibitory function in the bedroom. you may ask your doctor to switch your serotonin (wellbutrin has limited sexual side effects). you may also consider talk therapy, which has no physical side effects :) | depression | shl5d |
i have very bad generalized anxiety~ and most days i try to tough it out and handle it by mediating and other techniques i have learned in therapy. when i want to do things like go shopping or stuff that is "out of routine" or whatever i want to be able to take at least .25 mg. my question is how often a week can i do this without becoming physically addicted? age: 20 height: 5'7 weight: 140 g: female medications: trazadone, xanax | how often can i take xanax without getting addicted? | 6syfu0 | basically it seems that if anyone takes over 30mg of diazepam a day, they are significantly at risk of dependency. so for alprazolam that would be 1.5mg a day. still, its all about using it when needed only, and recognising that benzodiazepines are a plaster rather than a cure. if you need something longer term, then antidepressants and talking therapies are much more appropriate. | askdocs | 6syfu0 |
* age * 40 * sex * m * height * 5' 10" * weight * 210 * race * caucasian * duration of complaint * just a question. about 1 week. * location (geographic and on body) * head. * any existing relevant medical issues (if any) * none. * current medications (if any) * cetrizine * include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example) * na ​ i had a run in with poison ivy and it caused a huge break out. i got prednisone to help clear it up. i have noticed that while taking the prednisone, my head is a lot more clear and i can remember things much better. i have the feeling of getting things done versus lethargy. the funny thing is i did not notice how i was feeling until it was gone. my prednisone runs out in 1 days. i was wondering what the prednisone is doing/giving me that i am missing and is there a supplement that i can get or should i talk to my doctor about it? thank you. | prednisone clearing brain fog. | bgi975 | prednisone definitely gives energy and a kind of positive feeling. it can actually do it to the point of psychosis. it's hard to know whether that's because there was something wrong before you took prednisone or it's just a good-feeling medication in general. it's worth talking to your doctor about it, but there are good reasons we don't all take glucocorticoids like prednisone all the time: the risk of mania/psychosis and the significant metabolic effects of long-term use. | askdocs | bgi975 |
me (18/m) and my gf(18f) have in dating for about three months she was going to be an au pair and spain for a year starting in august and we had always talked about it and how it was going to be doable but tough. last monday she started bc and we said we love each other for the first time. since then we had started becoming really intimate and having long makeout and cuddle sessions. then yesterday while we were in the middle of cuddling and being intimate she said she was scared for our future and that maybe we had gone to far too fast and maybe we should slow it down. i was like ok and got a little emotional and everything but i was fine. then today she was like maybe we should breakup so i don't break you're heart before spain. she said she was scared of commitment and that maybe we had gone to far too fast and that she doesn't know what will happen. she's returning after a year and we had planned to be together and see where it goes before but now she was like idk if it will work and we might have to breakup because long distance might not work. we got really emotional and decided to slow down and see where it goes. but since then i have been freaking out and worrying and idk why it's like we're still in love but have to break up and she was like super uncertain. idk why all of the sudden she changed and started to have an existential crisis or how to take it. idk if because she started bc about a week ago it has hormonally changed her and now she has different thoughts and ideas or how i should handle it. i'm just super scared and uncertain because we love each other very much and could see it working out(we we did before but now she doesn't know.) | first relationship uncertainty | 5we6fz | it's hard and tricky because she's moving and has ambivalence about the relationship's viabilty even though she cares very much for you. | relationship_advice | 5we6fz |
hi im a 35/f and my guy is 36. we have been together about 18 mo and live an hour or so away...we're very much compatable and do an amazing job as a team with regard to everytihng from goals to communication to love.....we just dont have sex. maybe 5 times total. he doesnt initiate it at all. the few times we have, he's gone soft or i get dry. it just doesnt work and to be honest, i dont even want to try at this point. would you guys leave?? its so frustrating when i bring it up, he says its me (not taking initiative) but dang, last thing i remember is actually feeling wanted by my exes and that lead to sex actually happenning. he is just content to drink (yes, he's over weight and drinks and smokes) and hang out. i hate it and i want to leave him but i love everything else about us. | 35/f with 36/m and we have no sexual chemistry but everything else is great. | 6q60lz | are you prepared for a celibate life? most aren't. go to couple therapy. have him talk to his doc about viagra. | relationship_advice | 6q60lz |
i think an important part of adhd is accepting what you can and cannot change. you can work hard to build habits and strategies, but you’ll always have adhd. i’m currently living alone and working from home. it’s been a few months but no matter how many times i get it together for a few days, i always end up living in filth and not taking care of my personal hygiene. i think it’s my adhd + being very busy, but i’m like, is this just who i am and what i will have to struggle against for the rest of my life?! | unable to take care of myself while living alone: is this how i am or can i change? | ia7z0f | if i didn't live with my husband i would love in squalor. i had that very thought yesterday!! i think you can improve. | adhd | ia7z0f |
to start with i recently went to a psychologist. i took testing and got diagnosed with anxiety and depression. i was kind of relieved, as i've been terrified that i am developing schizophrenia and long story short, i've been over analyzing every thought and perceived sense to check to see if i am experiencing schizophrenia symptoms. the therapist that tested me said that my reality testing was good after the test. so i've been experiencing a symptom (or to be specific, a group of symptoms) since may. this was jump started after i had a series if panic attacks. the symptom(s) i am describing are not constant (thank god), and it usually starts in the afternoon: i feel off, i am not sure how to describe it. along with this, my eyes physically feel weird, i feel cold at times. my perception seems off as well. certain objects seem further away, closer, larger or smaller (this may just be a placebo). my emotions are dulled, and i feel disconnected from my thoughts and emotions (i know all of my thoughts are mine, but i feel disconnected from them, if that makes sense). i get extremely anxious. stuff around me seems different as well, like everything feels off. my memory has gotten extremely bad (took me 10 seconds to remember my mother's name recently). i also couldn't even remember going to a store to purchase a game recently. certain events that happened recently feel like they happened a long time ago. i get extremely anxious from all of this due to not knowing what it could be. maybe this is caused by something psychical and not mental? i write this because i have no idea what to do. i'm terrified. i'm in an extremely stressful environment ( my mother yells at me all the time and is extremely negative), so it probably doesn't help at all. i'm honestly wondering if i should go to the hospital. i'm scared if i don't do anything about this then i will feel like this forever. i don't see this ever getting better :( i guess i should add that i am on buspar (15mg 3x a day) and rispiridole (1mg 1x a day). after tonight, i am not sure if these meds are helping me. i should also add that i am not going to see my therapist for several weeks. | i recently took nueropsych testing. i am very concerned that something was missed. | eajjjg | it sounds like there’s some dissociation going on (but that’s only my opinion based on what you shared....it’s by no means a diagnosis). if it was depersonalization or derealization then you would feel like a robot walking through your day and that nothing around you is real (those do come with dissociation, but there’s the other criteria too). dissociation can be due to stress or trauma. it’s common to happen with depression and anxiety. it’s the body/brains way of protecting itself. i would see if you can go in to see your therapist sooner and talk with them about this some more. it is very scary to experience and you’re just not able to feel like yourself. there are some grounding exercises that your therapist might be able to give you so that you can try to help bring yourself back to the moment/here and now. try to keep yourself calm when you feel it happening and talk yourself through it. | askatherapist | eajjjg |
so there's the whole issue of coming on too strong to a person to which it scares them off. but at the other end you can come on to weak and leave the other person under the impression that you're not interested/don't care. any advice about it? how do you play the game? | what counts as coming on too strong/too weak | 6qwpkj | not a game. just be yourself. period. be natural. | relationship_advice | 6qwpkj |
i’m 24 male 5’11 80kg suffer from depression, anxiety.... currently missed 3-4 days of medicine i’m incredibly dizzy, pooping a lot, sounds are irritating me if they are too loud, feels like my head is being shook i’m finally after some complications able to get my medicine again today, how long untili feel normal again? edit: started to feel noticeably better after about 12 hours of taking my first dose... not 100% yet but definitely very close | missed a few days of venlafaxine (150mg) when i take it again how long until the withdrawal effects stop? | d0xqh0 | it usually ends quickly, probably within a day. | askdocs | d0xqh0 |
last night, i was chilling in my room. i started to get paranoia-like symptoms, and felt like everyone was out go get me. i then started experiencing panic attack like symptoms. i experienced abuse in my family as a child, and i started having detailed, angry flashbacks to this. i was sobbing violently and then i just snapped i guess. i was saying things to myself and was pacing around my room. all the texts from my friends that i responded to were very incoherent. i eventually calmed down and went to bed. i woke up exhausted as if i had just ran a marathon. i'm 15 by the way. am i going insane? | am i going insane? | 6vcmlu | do you still feel as though people are out to get you or were these types of thoughts only in that moment? given that this is the first time you ever experienced anything like this is really hard to tell what it is exactly as a lot of what you're saying sounds pretty standard for a panic attack, especially when you have a history of trauma. panic attacks are generally your mind's way of releasing all of the stress and anxiety you had built up that you were ignoring or not doing much about. in either case, you should talk to a therapist about this. whether you had any psychotic disorder beginning to show it's signs or if it was simply a panic attack, it would be a good idea to figure out what changes you can make in your life to get a better handle on things. best of luck! [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | mentalhealth | 6vcmlu |
just a quick question because as far as i know a lot of teenagers don't like their parents, is it true all people eventually start to like their parents? | does everyone end up loving their parents? | 36ri2q | it really depends. when i was a teenager, i wondered the same thing. i figured things would get better once i grew up and was on my own. but - i just ended up learning that how i was raised was not acceptable (abusive home). i tried to have a relationship with them once i grew up, because hell - they're my family. but it was destroying my mental health and ultimately i had to cut ties in order to save myself. i miss my family, no matter how awful they were. i truly wish i could have found a way to make it work - but it surely wasn't for a lack of trying. | needadvice | 36ri2q |
age: 21. sex: male. height: 5"8. weight: 120. location: united states. | can masturbation during puberty stunt penis growth? | ajd7ch | to add to the chorus with an official medical opinion: no, masturbation has no known negative effects on penis size or anything else. | askdocs | ajd7ch |
i keep dealing with a friend who's giving me *very* strange vibes. i feel like there's a good chance this "friend" may like me and i'm not sure of what to do. he's oddly passive about it. when most men like me they come right out and say it. i've never had to play these stupid games and it's exacerbating my bpd. i want to trust my intuition and bluntly tell him this has been bothering me and ask if he does have feelings. however, i'm not sure if this is quite appropriate as i don't want to look accusatory and/or vain for assuming? it would just help *so much* to know. | i'm getting really strange vibes from a friend... is it okay to ask them straight-up if they like me? | 43czbk | it might end the friendship and make it really awkward... or it might not. if he does like you tht basically will mean the end of your friendship. i always find it best to be straightforward tho | bpd | 43czbk |
i'm asking because i've recently gone back on an acne medication, called minocycline. the first time i had it was prescribed by a dermatologist who told me to take "two tablets once a day" so two at the same time because he said "it won't have an effect if you take it one by one". that was a year ago. i was on it for 6 months, and then off for 6 months. this time i went to my gp and she prescribed the same drug, minocycline, but it's "one tablet twice daily" so one in the morning and one at night. i'm just wondering why? because as the dermatologist said, it won't have an effect if you take it one by one. | is there a difference between taking "two tablets once daily" and "one tablet twice daily"? | 55hfwl | to the best of my knowledge, theres a generic twice daily preparation and a modified release once daily preparation. maybe that explains it? | askdocs | 55hfwl |
ive always known that i had adhd-pi but couldnt get diagnoses because my family refused. i went to a psychiatrist in a hospital a week ago and he diagnosed me and prescribed me concerta. i’ve been on 18mg for 5 days now and i’m not noticing a single thing. i’ll call him soon. anyway, i have horrible anxiety(been diagnosed) and i’m prettttty sure i have depression as well. i’ve been dealing with depression symptoms since fifth grade and its just getting worse(wanting to die every single day now). i know that all of my anxiety and some of my depression are caused by adhd. that’s just something i’ve always known. my meds are not working right now and proper titration is gonna take some time. i really struggle with anxiety and depression every singly day and it’s affecting my grades too much. i almost failed a few classes. i currently cant sit down and studying due to depression, helplessness and of course, adhd. the psychologist in my college usually evaluates and diagnoses then tries therapy and offers some tips and coping mechanisms. if there’s no improvement they call a psychiatrist to prescribe meds and if they feel like you need meds they’ll also call the psychiatrist. over the past 10 years i have tried every single thing i could think of and i have done sooo much research. i personally prefer being on a medication right now but i’m not sure what’s the right approach here i dont wanna look like a drug-seeker. i’m always paranoid that they’ll think im just looking for drugs. edit: for some reason i got sleep paralysis for the first time in my life 6 months ago and i’ve been getting it few times per month ever since. i’m assuming this is a sign that my condition is getting worse? i know that some antidepressants also help with adhd i’m also not sure how to approach this as well | i need help. i’m a college students and ive been having a really rough time. i’m gonna go to a psychologist soon but i’m not sure what to say first and how to organize my thoughts properly. | ae6tn0 | i think you can just tell the psychiatrist about all the treatment options and strategies you have tried and sum up that you’ve always felt the most improvement when on medication. you don’t have to specifically say “i want x type of medication,” just let the doctor know that medication at large has been the most effective strategy up to now, and this will naturally and comfortably flow into a more specific discussion about which medications, what worked and what didn’t, etc. | adhd | ae6tn0 |
hi everyone, to give some background, i am a 22-year-old college student. i have been struggling with adhd my whole life. i went to a psychologist for testing. after 3 appointments and many hours of testing, i received a diagnosis for adhd. the report was signed off on by the psychologist and a behavioural pediatrician (md). the report was faxed over to my family doctor who refused to read it and refused to give me a prescription for vyvanse, as was recommended in the report. has anyone experienced anything similar to this? what are my options? i'm based in the greater toronto area. | doctor is refusing to give me an adderall prescription | 9hleai | i'll tell you what - by age 22 id have also had you off your adhd meds and promoted non-pharmacological interventions instead. | askdocs | 9hleai |
started going to aa after my last relapse. i like the meetings and the people. i'm talking on a regular basis or texting a couple of guys when i want to drink. it's all good. the problem is, i get the sense that 90 meetings in 90 days is a "requirement" for the program. honestly, when i heard that, i wanted to drink! there is simply no way for me to schedule that. i travel internationally frequently and therefore am "out" for 24 hr stretches (on asian trips). i know that nobody is interested in my excuses for not attending daily meetings, but this is seriously stressing me out. so, aa people - is the 90 in 90 something that i have to do? | aa question - meeting frequency | 1pvrnt | didn't do 90 in 90, still here. there was a time when i got real real sick and wanted to drink and probably did 60 or 70 in 30. you choose your meeting schedule. i think it's more important to get involved, than it is to attend 90 in 90. for me finding a home group and doing the little things to help out was drastically more important than going to a meeting everyday. | stopdrinking | 1pvrnt |
i'm 24 and have had an alcohol problem which i've refused to acknowledge for a long time. largely this is because i've never drunk every day - i've seen people who drink every day and deemed them as having an alcohol problem, but not myself. obviously it doesn't work like that. when i do drink, i binge drink, and find it incredibly hard to stop. i'm the person encouraging you to share another bottle of wine. i despise it and it's incompatible with the lifestyle i want to live. my boyfriend and i are both completely quitting together, and i'm just wondering if anyone's got any early days advise for us. we've done this half-heartedly before, both alone and together, but this time it's serious. would really appreciate any tips you guys have learned, particularly regarding socialising. thank you! have a lovely day everyone. | day 2: any advice? | 950t6w | hi. i did a list of what i will gain from being sober. in that way it was a positive choice rather than a loss. i visited here most days too. have a plan for cravings - food, drinks, exercise, a mantra, phone a friend. great that your boyf is doing this too. good times ahead for both of u. i avoided too much social events at the start, and then tried to have an event with a focus e.g. food or music. best wishes. | stopdrinking | 950t6w |
i have suicidal thoughts i would like to discuss with a therapist but i do not want to be involuntarily committed to a mental hospital, any advice would be greatly appreciated. | what would make you think a patient is going to harm himself? | ebkp7u | most clinicians use judgment based on intent, capability, desire and buffers. some clinicians may be required to use an assessment tool like the cssr-s which helps determine severity. all people trained to address suicide look for the persons ability to concretely develop a safety plan and cooperatively protect their own safety. some clinicians may not have as much experience to trust their gut and their training to allow a person to remain in their community. some clinicians are overly anxious about the risk of suicide. others may have policies within their practice that require an assessment by a crisis team. what might be helpful is to ask your therapist what rules, approaches and procedures they follow when a client expresses thoughts of suicide and emphasize that you, like all other clients, need information about how they work to feel safe. | askatherapist | ebkp7u |
people have told me to forgive and just move on but it’s so hard. i’ve gotten better, but sometimes something reminds me of it and i get angry all over again. how do i move on from something that still affects me. i used to be confident and overall a good spirited person and then when i was betrayed, my confidence went straight to shit and i’m such an angry and bitter person now. i hate it so much and i want to move on but i don’t know how. edit: wow, i didn’t expect so many responses but i just want to thank every single one of you for your comments because i feel a lot more at ease and hopeful. thank you so so much ❤️ | how do i stop getting angry about the past? | ghri8k | our brains are wired to remember negative events more strongly. flip the script for a moment - can you tell us about some of your strengths? what's going good for you right now? what/who are you thankful for? take some time to reflect on the positive stuff too. it won't make the bad thoughts go away. but it's important in these moments to remember *who you are*. you are not your past. who are you now? who do you want to be? | advice | ghri8k |
*trigger warning blahblahblah* - he has a really bad coughing problem that he's been developing again (he had acid reflux and esophagitis as a child.) it's especially bad in the morning. apparently he was coughing a ton and before he knew it he got sick. of course now i'm freaking out, scared he's actually really ill and that i may catch it. time for bland foods and anxiety attacks for the rest of the week!! yay! i love this phobia! :( | wow yay my brother threw up this morning!! (!!! kill me) | 6d3b12 | my husband has thrown up from coughing hard a handful of times... if that's what your brother thinks it is, i'm sure that's what it is! you can relax! | emetophobia | 6d3b12 |
i don't like people because most of them say and do stupid things. they speak of things they have no education in, they generalize way too much and they get emotional over nothing. it's not that i don't like anyone, i am a student who likes talking to professors or older and educated people but regular people are like emotional children and provide very scant conversation material. i don't thing i have any social anxiety since i can be out and about and talk to people no problem when i need to but when i dig deeper, there's never any treasure. i don't care about gossip. i don't care what someone's sister in law did. i don't care about game of thrones or walking dead. i don't even own a tv since it's a waste of time. i read a book a day every day. i like talking about quantum physics, m theory, the politics of the french revolution, the stanley milgram experiment, the laws of thermodynamics. when i bring up these cool subjects, everyone gets bored but me. | i don't like people much. is there something wrong? | 7qpu8c | i actually stumbled on this post because i was looking at your profile after reading a really condescending and rude comment you made towards someone simply because they lacked some historical knowledge. i don't know you, so this is all a shot in the dark based on little info, but it sounds like you think really highly of yourself and are quick to judge others for not meeting your standards. this is going to push people away. nobody likes to be around someone who believes he's superior to others. it's a really unattractive quality. i'd only say there's something "wrong" if you're unhappy with it. if you're ok to dislike people and not make much of an effort to muster up some compassion for people who are different, then that's your choice and your social life will be structured accordingly. if you want to stop disliking people so much, it might be worth exploring the idea that a person's likeability has to do with more than just their intelligence or knowledge. if you actively look for things to appreciate in others, you'll potentially realize that most people have something about them that is likable. it sounds like you value intellectualism and people with an interest in academia. if this is the criteria you use to judge people, you're going to be disappointed, because people like that are in the vast minority of the population. | mentalhealth | 7qpu8c |
information: 24f medications: lithium, lamotrigine, abilify, adderal, destryel, hydroxyine, ativan, and vitamin d current everyday smoker current conditions: bipolar 1 disorder, adhd, hypokalemic periodic paralysis past conditions: ptsd, dissociative disorder, ednos duration of complaint: diagnosed bp1 for 9 years, but only been in this depressive episode a few days. hello all, i’ve entered a depressive episode after months of hypomania. i simply cannot deal with this right now. i’ve been promoted at work, so many responsibilities; i’m starting school again in fall; and i’m planning a wedding for next year. i can’t be depressed, i started all these things while hypomanic, and i don’t want to back out of them. my problem is, every antidepressant i’ve tried (except destreyl, but that’s just for sleep, hasn’t helped depression) has triggered either mania or a mixed episode. i’ve tried wellbutrin, trintellix, zoloft, remeron, and lexapro. is there another antidepressant that’s approved for bp1 i could try? i see my aprn wednesday, but i think she doesn’t know what to do with me anymore. i requested appointments with a couple actual psychiatrists, like my neurologist said i should, but am still waiting to hear back. until then, i turn to the internet for advice. you see, my aprn will prescribe anything i ask her to. i’ve pretty much been treating myself, but i’m at a loss like she is. tdlr; what’s an antidepressant that won’t trigger manic or mixed episode in bipolar 1 disorder? thank you for any advice or recommendations. | antidepressants for bp1 that don’t trigger mania? | 8wauc4 | you don't give dosages of anything you're taking, and that matters. | askdocs | 8wauc4 |
im a sophomore and weve only started classes a month ago. in the past couple of weeks we already had our long quizzes. i know i have a short memory but tbh it never really affected me that much before. i dont know if i have adhd but i think i do? i noticed i was failing science and always got the lowest score in our class (btw im in the 1st section so my classmates and the other always had high expectations from our class) so thats where it started. everyday that passes i feel shittier and shittier. not only because of my tests but also because of my classmates, now that i feel like shit i really opened my eyes and noticed how almost everyone in my class looked down on me. when we had group works and i ask if i could join they give me a sorry look in their faces?? it really hurts, even when im with my seatmate i cant even talk to her because shes always facing me back, always!! i obviously dont blame them for my struggle but i wish i was treated normally but most importantly can anyone give any advice to make my memory stronger i want to fix myself | ive been struggling with bad memory and my life is falling apart | c8nosc | > i dont know if i have adhd but i think i do? get a diagnosis. if you're in college, there are almost always free mental health services at the campus health center. if you're in high school, see your doctor and ask about adhd, and mention the memory problems. adhd is really common - you may also have something else like a processing disorder. your doctor will either have the ability to diagnose you or be able to direct you to someone who can. depending on where you are, you may also be able to find someone called an educational diagnostician. they run specialized tests to screen you for your educational strengths and weaknesses, and they would be able to tell you specifically where your problem lies. but, working memory problems, and anxiety caused by those problems, are really common with adhd. | advice | c8nosc |
i have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year, and i've been incredibly happy, and i still am. however, for some reason i'm feeling really cloudy when it comes to our future. i tried talking to her but she just gets very upset (understandable) because she thinks i'm trying to end things. that's not what i want, i just want to stop feeling weird if that makes sense. we have a sturdy relationship, and we do plenty together and i enjoy it, but i just don't know if this is what i have in my future. i just don't feel like emotionally on fire like i used to, and with college coming up i know there will be many opportunities for new relationships. also, we've had a few hiccups in the bedroom but i don't think it's major. anyone with any insight is greatly appreciated and invited to reply. thanks in advance. | major relationship confusion (help) | 6kgse2 | familiar is different than new. always remember that, because you'll always wind up here. be honest with each other about feelings, and stay on track. there's always couple therapy if you hit a snag. | relationship_advice | 6kgse2 |
i don't have a good grip on it, i'm wondering what it means to have a bpd. how does it affect your relationships, your emotions, your life? also, say you have a bpd client. does the treatment plan or approach change purely because of that? and in what way? finally, what are the usual hopes of someone overcoming that kind of disorder? thanks. | what does borderline personality disorder mean? | fksuen | it means you identify with rebecca from crazy ex girlfriend. | askatherapist | fksuen |
i’m an 18 y/o female, (18f), i weigh around 220, and i’m 5’8. i had a sinus infection that lasted around 3 months because we couldn’t figure out the cause and i lived everyday in pain. i stopped using flonase and my symptoms lessened, i got on an antibiotic (amoxicillin-clavulanate) and it helped! but not for very long. in the next 2-3 weeks i had another sinus infection. i saw an otolaryngologist, and she says it could be acid reflux and to take like 30 things out of my diet and to see her again in june. i cut all of those foods from my diet, and my acid reflux is much better! and i got another sinus infection anyways. i get the same antibiotic and i felt okay for around a month. but i got another sinus infection. i could feel it coming on and i knew it, i woke up this morning with the typical face pain, pressure, and headache. the strange thing is my nose never runs or is stuffy. i can always breathe perfectly fine. what is going on?? *this is also accompanied with neck pain | sudden, recurring sinusitis, pls help | fsu9na | have you ever tried a netti pot? it uses filtered water and salt mix (the one by neil med doesn’t burn). it flushes the sinuses and promotes new mucus production. i have bad allergies, sinusitis, and would get a lot of sinus infections. it’s helped so much! i use a prescription flonase as well. | askdocs | fsu9na |
i was referred to a psychiatrist 1 year ago and haven't seen her since because she asked me for school report cards but i didn't have any. i've tried going to my high school and ask a report card from grade 7-12 but they don't have the files anymore. clearly i don't know what to do and always feeling dumb with adhd. i think it is time to see her and go back to school | should i see my psychiatrist? she has a very good reputation in the city with many peoples that has adhd | abyl2j | yeah, having such a focus on report cards suggests this doctor maybe doesn’t know a ton about adhd and may subscribe to the misconception that it’s just an academic disorder. academic history is important in assessing for adhd but it’s just one piece of the puzzle. | adhd | abyl2j |
male, 20, 145 lbs. i've been relying on black coffee to crap in the mornings, but i don't want to increqse my caffeine tolerance or even relt on caffeine. any healthier zero calories alternatives? | how to jumpstart stomach in the morning without coffee | 91hxab | black coffee has very few calories and is not unhealthy. there are lots of studies on coffee consumption, and while none to my knowledge are the gold standard randomized, controlled, double-blind study (because that's pretty hard to do with food and drink), the studies largely come down on the side of coffee being safe and possibly slightly reducing your risk of a few diseases. if you're concerned about caffeine then your options for things to drink are pretty much water, non-caffeinated teas, or decaf coffee or tea (both of which have a little bit of caffeine but much less.) | askdocs | 91hxab |
prey passes the tiger who sometimes merely looks, sometimes pounces without hesitation, but never fails to act. **my take:** when i drank, i was completely disengaged with life. that bottle was all that mattered, and my life revolved around it. now, sober and alert, it's almost sensory overload. i feel the need to "pounce" on everything. not in a violent way. i mean i feel the need to somehow deal with everything that comes my way. i need to learn to let some things pass, but remain aware of them. | daily tao wednesday: engagement | 43yy1y | exactly. sensory overload but it's all right at our finger tips, how can we not pounce? keep it up! | stopdrinking | 43yy1y |
male, 26, 5’6” 195lbs. meds: levothyroxine 25mcg. no history of kidney issues. recent labs from the last couple months have shown my bun and creatinine to be well within normal limits. my neuro ordered an mri of head and neck. my question is, i have never had imagine done with iv dye. i know iv dye is a common allergy, and it’s bevause of iodine right? my dad, and his mother, are both very allergic to shellfish. for that reason i’ve never eaten shellfish. does this mean there is a possibility i am allergic to iv dye? if i am allergic to iv dye, and i don’t find out until it’s already administered, what will happen? i guess my biggest fear is a full anaphylaxis/not being able to breath (my gramma has this reaction to shellfish, i believe my dad just gets hives). my second question is regarding nephrotoxicity of iv dye. i work in nursing and i’ve seen a few patients who’ve had their kidneys damaged from iv dye. and given aki’s high mortality rate, how can i ensure i am not overdosed. how do i calculate my dose and confirm with nurse before hand. third question: when i asked my neuro about the mri being a good diagnostic tool, he commented “it shows even things you don’t have”. was he referring to little blips and benign things in the brain that don’t necessarily mean anything is wrong? | question about the iv dye used for an mri | 8el88r | iv contrast for cts is nephrotoxic if it exceeds the kidney's ability to excrete it. that only occurs with people who already have poor kidney function. gadolinium\-based contrast for mri isn't nephrotoxic directly. people with chronic kidney disease are at higher risk for developing a syndrome called systemic sclerosis, and the risk is even higher after receiving mri contrast, but again in healthy people the risk is for all practical purposes zero. | askdocs | 8el88r |
hey so i've been sober for 4 years, and i pretty much only go to my home group meeting. i feel bad like i get this sense like oh something bad will happen because im not doing enough aa. but i have so many great friends that are not in the program so when ever i have free time i want to spend it with them. ive just had a hard time lately wanting to do more a.a and would love to hear other peoples experiences on when they started cutting down meetings because they have been sober for a bit. thanks guys! | i feel bad with going to one meeting a week. | ch2sob | i was sober 4/12 years. i started cutting down meetings to once a week around 3 1/2 years. old habits started sneaking in without me realizing it. small things, like getting irritated more often; not all the time but more often. then i slowly started becoming less grateful, and started seeing things from a pessimistic view instead of the positive, accepting, and tolerant side. then finally, i just began trying to manage every little outcome myself and forgot how much easier and almost stress free life was when i did what i could do and had faith that things would happen as god would want them. i obviously relapsed eventually. this was about 2 1/2 years ago, and it has not been even remotely close to easy to try and get the spirituality and feeling of inner peace and contentment i had for about 4 years. i currently have a little over 5 months sober again, but it is so much more challenging than before. biggest thing i have to remind myself is to be patient and not compare the end result of the work i did last time, with how i feel now, while in the middle of the work. looking back, the thing i did wrong, is i took more from the program than i gave back. yes, i took positions in home groups and went to commitments, etc. but i wasn’t working with newcomers. i have come to believe that it is essential to do this. i mean it clearly says so in the book. this is just my experience. everyone’s different. but i know when i wasn’t going to meetings, i lost what i had eventually, and i clearly was not giving back to the program and newcomers like i should have been. | alcoholicsanonymous | ch2sob |
this is for the people who worry about being normal: you are not normal. living in a city with thousands of people is not normal using caffeine/nicotine/cannabis/alcohol/antidepressants/narcotics is not normal needing a fan/music/tv to sleep is not normal traveling many miles every day by vehicle to go somewhere you don't want to be, working some weird job 5+ days a week is not normal visiting a stranger every week to talk about your problems is not normal eating fried garbage and drinking colored sugar is not normal seeking attention from people you don't know on the internet is not normal dismissing your own values in favor of your "leaders" (political or occupational) is not normal there is very little left now that is "normal" by human standards. it's time to stop worrying about doing it right and just focus on doing you. this has been a public service announcement. | normal | cjpykr | thank you! all true! very freeing when you realize there is no normal too. | cripplingalcoholism | cjpykr |
i know this sounds like an extremely petty and unimportant problem compared to everyone else, but its become a sore spot between me and my mom. i am a junior taking honors and ap courses, and am incredibly tired after i come home from school and do all of my homework. generally, when after i finish my hw there is a 30-45 minute window before dinnertime when i try to take a quick nap to recharge my batteries. every time i have tried to discuss this she says that they make me "stay up all night" and that theirs no reason for me to be napping. while its true that by her standards, i do stay up later if i take a nap (as a junior in high school i still have to go to bed at 9 on school nights and cant have my phone, which is another argument for another time). i know a small nap sounds relatively unimportant, but its gotten to a point where i would get grounded for trying to sneak naps in different parts of the house, i always get 8 hours of sleep a night no matter what, so how can i help end this fight and try to convince her to let me grow up a little? | my[43m] mom wont let me[17m] take naps after school. yes, its worse than it sounds. | 67s2g0 | she is way off base here. lock yourself in the bathroom and nap! | relationship_advice | 67s2g0 |
everyone my age is obsessed with social media. snapchat/instagram/twitter/tumblr etc, i can not handle being on those things without having a meltdown or shutting down. i just cant process all that information, it's too much - all the pictures too. even being on the internet is heavy sometimes but i push through for camaraderie. anyone share this? | anyone else who sees things in fragments, have a hard time with social media/the internet? (stimuli overload) | 2nezur | the busier the social media page, the more annoying it is. when i used to play warcraft, i would get tunnel vision at times. i'm not sure if that's the kind of thing you are talking about. | aspergers | 2nezur |
probably obvious from the title, but tw for discussion of self-harm. i'm a 41-year-old woman, and from a pretty young age, i've had a... fascination, i suppose, with being injured or sick. the first time i can recall is when i was around 6 - i was standing on a neighbor's swing set and had a strong urge to jump off. not because i wanted to hurt myself, per se, but rather i wanted to break my leg, so that i would... have a broken leg, i guess. i didn't do it, but i remember having the urge. in my late teens/early 20s, i began self-harming. that included cutting, but i've used a number of different methods. i've given myself a (fairly faint) black eye a couple of times, hit my ribs and my hand with a hammer (different occasions), taken a whole bottle of pills, and held my hand over hot oil while i dripped water into it so that it would splash up and burn me. i should point out that none of these things were done with the intent to cause serious harm. for the pills, i looked up the ld50 values beforehand, to ensure i was taking well below a lethal dose, and the times when i've hit myself, i've made sure that the placement was such that it wouldn't cause a major injury. the cutting is always done in the same place, where there are no major blood vessels and is not visible because it's hidden by my clothes. i'm not entirely sure why i feel the need to do such things. i think there is probably at least *some* desire for attention, but i always end up hiding/covering up the injuries so that no one sees them, so i don't actually get attention from them. mostly, though, i fantasize about being hurt or sick. not in a sexual way at all - i just mean i think about it a lot. i often wish that i could put myself in situations where i'd get beat up. one of my hobbies is rock climbing, and i like that it's easy to get hurt doing it. in fact, a few years ago i took a fall and injured my knee, but i was actually upset when i had an x-ray and they told me it wasn't broken. i often hope for worst-case scenarios when something is wrong with me. i'm a pretty healthy person overall, but whenever i've had any sort of health issues, i hope it will be something serious. a few months ago i found a lump in my breast and had a mammogram, and i was legitimately disappointed when they told me it was just a cyst. recently, i've realized that i've been hoping i'll get covid-19, and not a mild case of it. honestly, if i thought there was a way i could catch it and know that i caught it, so that i could then immediately fully self-quarantine so as to not expose anyone else, i might do it. it's really been this feeling that has made me start contemplating on all my previous behaviors. i moved to a new area about 6 months ago, but before that i'd been seeing a psychiatrist regularly. i've been diagnosed with depression (which i definitely have), and my psychiatrist was aware of my self-harm, but i'd never talked to her about the feelings behind it because i'd never really thought about it as more than a coping mechanism. i'd actually hoped she would diagnose me with borderline personality disorder, but i didn't really fit the criteria. but maybe that's just another way in which i want to be sick? is mentioning factitious disorder in my title just doing the same thing? i don't want to fake anything, and i'm not even sure i really want a lot of attention... though i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be sick/injured so that others would notice and/or generally be aware of it. (is that even a real distinction?) i'd just found a new therapist here before everything basically shut down, and my appointment was cancelled. i do plan on rescheduling once she's seeing patients again, but in the meantime... are there questions i can be asking myself, to help in my introspection? is this even a thing? as in, am i making a big deal out of nothing... because i just want something to be wrong with me? i'm obviously not asking for a diagnosis, but are there disorders that these behaviors fit into? any comments/insights/suggestions on any of this is appreciated. | factitious disorder/munchausen syndrome, a penchant for self-harm, or just wanting attention? | fo37bn | when diagnosing, the reason, or what the person gets out of the behavior, is the focus. factitious disorder/munchausen is usually about being in the role of patient . that could be enjoying the attention, care or status of patient. self-harm is more about reducing stress or feeling some type of gratification from pain. many people who self harm hide the injuries. )there are some who don't, that is a different diagnostic rabbit hole ). i think that being open with your therapist will give you good opportunities to explore what you get out of these behaviors, and how they have served you. you asked what you can explore in the meantime . you could consider more deeply what you get out of it , and how you benefit when you get sick or injured . what need is being fulfilled? you have pretty good insight , so with the right facilitation, i think you can do good work . | askatherapist | fo37bn |
because i can't drink at work, any tips for kicking a giant wave of anxiety that suddenly comes over you? i literally cannot get any work done. i usually can muddle through it, asking myself what are some tasks that are bothering me the most that would be helpful to get out of the way, but i feel like i am stuck and just ready to black out. | because i can't drink at work... | 6x06yp | first off, if you're drinking to manage your anxiety, you really need to cut that down or out completely. it's only going to make you much more of an anxious person whenever you're not drinking. i'm not saying you have to stop drinking, but drinking for fun and drinking to cope are two completely separate beasts. for your current state of affairs, try taking a time out, throwing some head phones on and listening to a few of your favorite songs. go out for some fresh air for 5-10 minutes when you feel the need. make lists of short fairly easy to accomplish goals in order to see everything you need to get done and make it look a little less overwhelming. [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | anxiety | 6x06yp |
hello, i struggled with depression and social anxiety in my teen years. although i am well now, there is something that has been on my mind. my thought process is slower than what it used to be before i struggled. before, i was the kind of person who could do calculations in her head in seconds. words came naturally to me, i did pretty fine in maths, and i had a teacher who even suggested that i did this test to skip a few grades, as i was basically learning nothing new in school (my parents refused though, because i already struggled making friends, being in a group of older people would only make it harder). of course, when i had my mental health problems, my grades dropped. when i started getting therapy, they went up again, but i still didn't feel like my old self. i actually needed to study to memorize things, speaking and writing didn't flow as well as it used to and while i was good at maths (i did understand the concepts), i was relying on my calculator and memorisation to make fairly simple calculations and sketch graphs. i do feel like i'm improving slowly over time, though. being in university as a physics undergrad, which is very much a maths-oriented course, helps, and i'm also actively practicing a new language, english, as i'm originally from southern europe and decided to study in england (so sorry for any mistakes, still learning!). but i still need to study and actually try to understand some stuff that might have come as obvious, had i kept the same skills i had when i was younger. i was wondering if anyone else went through something similar. i did not take any medication, just therapy with a professional, so it's not any sort of side effect. does mental illness make you "dumber"? anyway, i wish you a great day. sending positive vibes to y'all | does being mentally unwell for a long time make you dumber? | etp9y0 | hello! therapist here. this is a vastly difficult question that is hard to succinctly discuss due to there being various other factors at play besides mental health concerns. various studies have shown correlations between chronic, untreated mental illness and lowering of iq over time. now keep in mind, generally when people think of intelligence we think of intelligence quotient, which is an assessment measure that looks at ones ability to learn. it is not a function of crystallized intelligence (things that we have already committed to long term memory and understand.) so when asking if something "makes you dumber" it is good to note the distinction there. mental illness that leads to thinning of gray matter plays a role in decreasing iq and increasing cognitive concerns. depending on where the thinning occurs will determine the general nature of cognitive impairment. something also to keep in mind is the structure of the limbic system of the brain, which tends to change prior to the cortex with chronically untreated mental illness. that can translate to difficulties in developing crystallized intelligence which does correlate with a lower iq. | mentalhealth | etp9y0 |
ok so to put in a little bit of context, i've never been really good at identifying what my emotions are and it's something that i'm working on with my therapist (also it's very possible that i have ocd) i'm 19 years old (i hope this doesn't trigger anybody, as i'm asking for help) i was walking on the street today and i was feeling very self conscious because i was using my cellphone, i thought that literally everybody was judging me because of it and i was feeling a bit accelerated. i then heard a helicopter and looked at it and my head just started to race out of nowhere and i saw myself needing to be home and i felt nauseous and it just was not pleasant. i thought that everybody was looking at me and as i was walking back home i managed to relax a little bit but i was very confused (and still am) because of what had just happened. i don't know if i felt scared or what, but it was a very strange experience and i still feel a little bit on edge. is there an explanation for this? i'm very confused and i do feel on edge still, i don't know what happened. thanks on advance to everybody | what just happened to me? | 6u3klm | do you also have trouble reading other's emotions? between stating you believe you have ocd, have some panic induced from noise, and said at first you have trouble identifying your emotions, i wonder if you've ever been tested or considered being tested to see if you're on the autism spectrum. i would say this is worth talking to your therapist about if the above things are a fairly regular occurrence and this wasn't an isolated incident. | mentalhealth | 6u3klm |
so iv'e been having some difficulties with a dear friend of mine becoming distant due to some difficult past relationships. some backstory: we met in a university class about a year ago, went on a couple dates, but nothing ever really happened. we kept contact over the year, but it was very seldom and nothing would really come of it. a month or so ago, we started talking again and eventually started going out on dates a lot more often. eventually things lead back to my place and we got some decent making out going on, but she declines the offer for sex. no big deal, maybe some other time. that night she sends me a message saying she wanted to wait because "shes had a lot of bad guys recently". i comfort her and we move on and she's happy i'm not pushing the subject matter. its worth mentioning that we're not official at this point, and still aren't to this day. fast forward a week, and we've done a few more things together and she's been acting normal. last night she sent me a text wanting to go grab some dinner. okay no problem, so she picks me up and we head over there and she's a lot quieter than usual, along with like a sad / tired thing going on. after dinner, i offer to hang out some more but she declines and goes home anyway. a few hours later i sent her a funny story i found on here along with a "thanks for inviting me to dinner" kind of note. to which she replied, "you don't have to talk to me now, goodnight" just out of nowhere. at which point i said "okay goodnight" and went to sleep. i woke up this morning with one of those huge messages apologizing and explaining how she had a bad day yesterday, brought on by those bad past relationships. i responded to that message this morning accepting the apology and telling her if she wanted to talk about it i would be there for her. she has seen the message, but has not responded at this point. it's worth mentioning that she's never brought this up this topic in person, and when we get anywhere near the topic or something similar, she gets super quiet, avoids eye contact, and is generally difficult to talk to when it comes to difficult conversations. reddit, what's going on, and what do i do here? | how do i [24m] help console with with my potential gf (21f) who has clearly had quite a few bad past relationships? | 6e8kbu | these things she's going through have nothing to do with you, and trust me, there's no joy in either of you dwelling on those things any more than you have to. so, tell her "let me know if there's anything i can do to be helpful" and otherwise focus on having a nice time. | relationship_advice | 6e8kbu |
so me and my best friend met this girl about 2 years ago and straight away he started doing shit with her, always hooking up etc. they dated for like 6 months then he cheated on her. (mid 2015). she has been in 2 relationships since then and just recently broke up and now single. so my bestfriend just started hooking up with her again last night. anyway, she is like my bestfriend, she loves me as a friend but i am so madly in love with her no one has a clue. she knows i care about her and would do anything for her but it hasn't really clicked to her yet because she has been in love with my bestfriend since they met 2 years ago. i am scared they will get into another proper relationship now or in the years to come and it could be permanent. i really need advice on how to win her over. i am close with her and now that she is single she would defs hookup with me but the fact that she's in love my best friend kills me inside and i want that to stop. don't judge me because i am 17, i know what love is like. i have been in love with her since the day i layed eyes on her and haven't stopped thinking about her since then. | i [17/m] am in love with this girl [17/f] but she loves my best friend | 5ql8kz | we don't 'win' people over. we can only be ourselves. people either love us or they don't. | relationship_advice | 5ql8kz |
i am honestly over the moon and you're probably going to be surprised when i explain why. so last night - after 4 days of feeling lower than low/suicidal/intrusive thoughts/self-harming again/impulsive behaviour - i coerced my ex into coming round to see me after not seeing him since he broke up with me when i od'd 5 weeks ago. the premise from his side was "sex and nothing more than that", but he rocked up all fucking arrogant thinking he could just have me on a plate and i wasn't game. we ended up talking about what happened between us and how he just gave up on me (he has bipolar and i suspect npd cause he's a b u s i ve), then he decided to start leaving - even though he'd promised me he wouldn't leave me on my own when drunk (i hadn't touched alcohol since the od). before this, he'd also been really sexually aggressive with me, to the point where he hit my chin upwards and i've got nasty teeth marks in my tongue now - but then kept justifying it all to me by being like "i'm only doing this cause you like this cause you're fucking weird" (i'm into bdsm - but this was too far - especially given we'd split up and there was no affection). also made a sly remark when he went to the loo, disparagingly saying he "may as well piss on me instead cause i'm a freak and probably like it" - no shade on people who do, but i don't... said that he wasn't sure if he ever loved me too which was real nice. back to the bit about him starting to leave - so i literally just stood in front of the front door and begged him not to go. i didn't get physical or even verbally abusive, i just stood there and pleaded with him not to leave me when he knew i was vulnerable and in the flat alone. he then literally said to me "if you're not going to fuck me, i'm going." then "that's what i came here for and that's what you agreed but you're a duplicitous cunt and you lied about it being nothing but sex". at this point i'm crying, and he gets worse, "i'll throw you out of the way if you don't move/i'll kick the cat if you don't move/i'm going to call the police on you if you don't move". the latter of the 3 he did to try and scare me (rang fucking 999...!) and then put the phone down cause he realised what he'd done. but obviously they kept calling back and they ended up saying they had to come out and check on us as a domestic case. so he gets off the phone and starts panicking that he's going to get arrested for the shit he's been saying to me/wasting police time etc etc, and starts hugging me and apologising and at this point, i'm a wreck. i was scared that it was going to implicate me cause he literally called the police on me. but then somehow he managed to squirm his way back onto my good side (i'm a fucking doormat) and we ended up waiting for the police eating fucking popcorn cuddling at 4am, until i made him call them back and say we were going to sleep (was scared they were going to knock my door in if we fell asleep). so now they're coming this morning and i'm obviously going to lie to cover his back but oh my god, i'm so glad this has happened cause it's just reminded me how abhorrent he is and apologies for the long post, but it's also for my own reference next time i start missing him. annoyingly i still slept with him but it wasn't even that good anyway so ha. also came on my period this morning (soz for tmi) and it's just made me realise that my bad moods/self-destructive tendencies always fall into the week before i'm due on - and i feel fucking on top of the world now (was terrified this week that i was just incurable cause i've felt that low with no real cause). tldr; i hung out with my toxic ex and he was his usual abusive self and this time, i don't even want to see him again despite being horribly hung up on him before. i feel free!!!! | saw toxic ex (and ex-fp) and now the police are coming lol. | 79fwvv | if there was ever a time i'd say someone needed to be in treatment is say now is that time. you should be doing dbt, an iop, or some sort of program for help. you half recognize your self destruction but now you need to act on it. you know that there's a pattern of this occurring before your period, so take extra precautions during then. stay away from alcohol, switch to pot. get a therapist, and start building and then learning to uphold your own boundaries | bpd | 79fwvv |
my cat of 18 yrs old, we had to put him down because he was sick. he was the only living creature never bullying me or making me sad. i miss him, i never knew i could miss a animal this much. he was like the only thing i had... my life is already so miserable. &#x200b; miss you buddy </3 :( | my best friend died. | 9atvnw | i can totally empathize. i’ve had tons of cats, because i rescue and we’ve lost so many. maybe you can try fostering so you can be exposed to other kitties who need love and care. i find it helps with the healing process. | depression | 9atvnw |
hello. i am 26yo male. i had blood work done yesterday for my overall health check-up. i am on low carb diet for a while now and wanted to know if everything is okay. also, i am feeling tired daily, with no enthusiasm, my blood pressure is always below 100/65, other than that my libido decreased and testicles are much smaller that in the past. testosterone results are still pending, however all others are ready. i had a very bad experience during blood draw, i had 6 or 7 tubes of blood drawn. i do not like needles and blood view but i was feeling calm during first 3 tubes, after a while my sight started to get blurry, it got to the point where i did not see anything besides stars, my ears felt clogged, i couldn't say a word and started to faint. i held to the end and walked "on the way" to the bathroom where i sat for 20 minutes and felt very dissy. it got better when i got home, i checked my blood pressure and it was 84/45. i felt something like that for first time. but going back to the point. could someone please take a look on my results? some of them are little off. i had the following tests done: - cbc with includes differential and platelets - cmp comprehensive metabolic panel - lipid panel with ratios - urinalysis (ua), complete - ferritin - testosterone, total and free - shbg - psa total - dhea sulfate, immunoassay - tsh, free t3, free t4 please check my results in the link below: WEBLINK | blood work results. could you please check? | 8sxy67 | it's all fine. the one thing that shows up in red is alkaline phosphatase, and a low alp is usually insignificant and in your case so close to the arbitrary normal cutoff that there is not even reason to check further. having that vaso-vagal reaction to blood draws is pretty common. unpleasant, but it gets better with time. | askdocs | 8sxy67 |
i've been having these bouts of sadness since i got out of depression about 8-10 months ago, some of them have been really bad and i just can't be cheered up, my friends said they stopped trying because they can't do it, but i feel like i need them. what should i do? | i have been really sad recently and my friends said they have given up on trying to cheer me up because i just wouldn't cheer up, but i feel like i need them, what should i do? | 75n69e | it’s not their job to cheer you up. what is going on in your life that’s keeping you stuck in sadness? how are you coping? | needadvice | 75n69e |
hello, i'm wondering if you could help me out. i'm 21 and currently in my second year of a computing degree. i've always enjoyed using computers however i've started to have second thoughts about what i'm wanting to do with my life. i've already dropped out of university before while doing a similar degree and went back thinking i'd made a mistake however i'm starting to have second thoughts again. recently i've developed an interest in studying a new language so i could become a teacher or translator or possibly a chef. i'm still unsure about this, however i'd prefer to be studying or working abroad. i've suffered from depression in the past and i feel like it's starting to comeback, i'm starting to become extremely unhappy with what i'm doing in life and it feels like i'm stuck in a vicious circle. i just really want a fresh start in a country outside of the uk. thanks. | education/life advice | 206vd0 | teach english in a foreign country. japan is a great choice for this. while there you can learn some japanese. | needadvice | 206vd0 |
1. mental clarity. long hard rides quiet my obsessive mind, not only during the ride, but for hours afterwards-compared to the short lived relief of a beer buzz followed by the anxiety wave. my focus narrows so there is only me, the road, and the bike. if i find my mind wandering, i push the pedals harder. 2. health. i'm feeling great and my body is working at an optimal level. if hangovers had an opposite, this would be it. 3. the post ride feast. after a long hilly ride on just a bowl of oatmeal and a coffee, lunch unlocks a next level of enjoyment. yesterday was a fish sandwich and onion rings at a little town in the middle of nowhere. about as far as you can get from a boozy taco bell binge. 4. friends. as an introvert, i have difficulty holding a conversation at times, and would lean on alcohol. however, when stopped for a post-ride coffee at a spot popular with cyclists, there are a million things to talk about. where you coming from, nice bike, how do you like those wheels, nice having that tailwind coming in, how great was that descent! legs are shot today so i'm going to do a slow spin over a (relatively-sf bay area!) flat course. any day in spandex is a good day. thanks for reading! | cycling gives me what alcohol never could | 6uvfq0 | this is so awesome! this post and all its comments! - i guess we're all in the same boat. i've been far more dedicated to cycling since being sober. it's my obsessive outlet and has given so much to me. new sober friends - my mind. my fitness. my drive to get my ass in bed early and up and moving. coffee gulping and pastry smashing - i've put in over 2k miles this year. i will not drink with you all today! | stopdrinking | 6uvfq0 |
i'm nearly certain i have ocd and have had it for years. i am finally going to a doctor next week. i always score severe on ocd tests and my experiences match almost any video i've seen on the topic. i've even spent time on the ocd sub here and identified with a lot of it. however, i am really scared i am going to be told "actually you are just gay, not a real catholic and those scary thoughts you get about sex with people you would never ever want to have sex with? nah that's just denial, you're a deviant" (by deviant i don't mean gay, i mean something actually immoral that i would hate myself for forever, i'm not a homophobic catholic). i'm just so frightened that i secretly am inherently bad/a psychopath and in denial and using ocd as an excuse, even though these kinda thoughts never occured until i was 19 and i'm the kinda person who feels guilty over stuff most people wouldn't. to balance it out, i've even researched gad and schizophrenia but honestly i show no symptoms of the latter and the former seems unlikely, i am quite anxious because of what i think is ocd, but i don't think i meet the gad criteria. | (repost) are self diagnoses usually correct? | gyj48q | your distress is real. in my experience, self diagnosis is very often incorrect. psychologists train for years to properly assess and diagnose , and that can't be replaced by online searches. most commonly , people tend to attribute a real symptom to an incorrect diagnosis. for example, sometimes people think they have bipolar disorder because they have mood swings. at the same time, the scenario you fear (being told you are in denial, deviant, psychopathic ) is also really unlikely. if nothing else, because it is really unhelpful. your distress is real and that deserves appropriate treatment. | askatherapist | gyj48q |
is she good? do you recommend her to your patients? | curious to know what t'a think of brene brown? | bq9704 | i think so. and i do | askatherapist | bq9704 |
my partner has an anxiety disorder. he sees a psychiatrist and takes medication. we often have conversations where he is very anxious about something and nothing can comfort him. it’s usually about something that’s still up in the air - a job promotion, where we’ll live next year etc - so there really isn’t anything to say beyond “i don’t know, we’ll see what happens. the worst case scenario isn’t that bad.” these often last an hour or more and turn into fights. he gets increasingly negative about the prospects of whatever he’s worrying about and often begins worrying about unrelated things. i get frustrated that nothing i say can calm him. he gets mad that i’m frustrated. to me these conversations seem useless. we’ll talk for hours, fall asleep, and in the morning he will feel completely differently, saying that is was silly to be so worked up about it. i’m not saying i never want to talk about his worries/concerns, but i can tell when the conversation is spiraling into this pattern. he gets really upset if i point this out and say i don’t think talking about it will help. is it okay to end a conversation like this? is there a better coping mechanism he can use? | is it okay to tell my partner we can’t talk about his anxieties? | fghedn | i am wondering if there are other boundaries you could set . it seems like you see two choices- talk about it until you are both frustrated, or don't talk about it. is there a third option? one idea may be to set a limit. for example , set a timer for an agreed amount time and let him share his anxieties. you could also agree on a time-out procedure, during which you take a time out before you get frustrated. also , do you know what he wants ? you said nothing you can say can calm him, but does he want you to calm him? i think there are lots of options , hopefully you can talk about it when he is not anxious and make a plan. | askatherapist | fghedn |
as the title states, me and my boyfriend of 4 years are not moving forward at all. we hang out once a week mostly to run his errands. he's very sweet, and kind but it feels like there's nothing between us. everything we do, it's something of his choice. when he asks me if i would like to do anything, he will ask me over and over again until i change my answer to what he wants. i feel like i'm always compromising in his favor. we have been together for four years and everything feels as when we were first dating. i call myself his weekend girlfriend because we only get together on saturdays and usually to do his shopping at the mall. we only take his car. we only stop where he needs to go. and he chooses where we eat. he orders the same two appetizers every time we go out, even though i dislike them and he never finishes anything he orders. i feel bad for trying to order my own appetizer because our bill ends up being unreasonably high. he never compromises and gets what we both want and it just seems really stupid to order three appetizers and two dinners when we couldn't possibly eat that much food. our whole relationship functions that way. i'm always compromising for what he wants. today i told him i wanted to have a fun day. i wanted to go skating. i know he doesn't like going out of his way out do things, so i suggested skating around in the giant water puddle in his yard that froze over last night. through text and calls he asked me what i wanted to do and where over and over again. i said i wanted to go out for lunch and go skating. three times i stated this via text and he called me. all within an hour. i had a gift card for the texas road house and suggested there 3 times. he suggested another place that he knows i don't like. he said "i know you don't like xxxx place, but why don't we go there?" i told him i would compromise and go there with him... after we had our lunch, we were headed in the opposite direction of his house. i asked where we were going and he said he was taking me home!?!?! he decided he didn't want to ice skate.... i compromised to the point where i was willing to just skate around his yard and he wouldn't even give me that?!?! i started crying in the car because i keep telling him i feel like all i ever do is blindly follow what he wants all the time and that i get nothing in return. i feel like i'm just set to autofollow in his life, shadowing behind him with no real purpose while he does what he wants. my whole relationship with him are just instances like this. he lives with his parents and doesn't really seem to want to move out. he puts being with his family over being with me or even compromising to try to split his time. being on time for dinner with his parents is more important than going out with me or compromising a night with me. i always join him and his family for holidays and birthdays and such, but he won't come to dinner with mine. he tells me that he loves me and he's affectionate towards me. but at what point will i become an important part of his family? at what point will he be less selfish, and learn to make me a priority at least sometimes? maybe 4 1/2 years isn't too long.. but hes 28 years old... he's going to be 29 in a few months and i feel like... at some point aren't men supposed to want a wife and a family? i asked where he sees us in 5 years and he tells me he wants a house and a family with me... but he can't even make a stop for coffee for me when we drive past 3 dunkin donuts! whenever we talk about my feelings, he tries to come up with a quick fix. today he said we can go skating at a real rink next week. i just wanted to enjoy being with him instead of following behind him doing what he wants... and i always choose activities i know he enjoys too. he enjoyed skating last time we went years ago. i've never chosen what film we see, or where we should eat.i planned a weekend vacation once and he made me make an itinerary so i could feel like i could have a say.. and then we just did what he wanted... we didn't do any of the things i wrote in the itinerary even though i let him look it over and he approved of it.... i just don't know how long i'm supposed to wait for him to be my partner. i don't feel secure. i don't feel important. i do feel he loves me, but it feels like a high school relationship. we don't spend the night together, we rarely have sex. all we do is go out on saturdays sometimes and eat. he doesn't want to break up or date other people... whenever i said i'm unhappy, he tells me to relax and that everything is fine... tl:dr how long are you supposed to wait for someone to get their shot together? | my boyfriend [28m] of 4 1/2is still very selfish and not ready to fully commit to me [26f] when should things end? | 5kga6t | my rule of thumb is that if someone doesn't know they want you after a year, they never will | relationship_advice | 5kga6t |
my girlfriend lives with a toxic household that has been unhealthy her whole life. her mental health is not doing well as a result of traumatic things that have happened to her in the household, not to mention her family constantly arguing every day and asshole siblings. some of these mental health things affect our relationship negatively, not to mention it's unhealthy for her overall. she is very aware of these things, and acknowledges that they are unhealthy. she deals with these emotions by deflecting it with activities that calm her or make her happy. she believes that therapy won't have an effect on her unless she moves out as she would still be exposed to her toxic family. is she right? also, is there anything i as her boyfriend can help her with her emotions? especially now when she can't leave her house often due to covid-19. | my girlfriend believes that therapy won't help her. is she right? | hnaq51 | in some ways she is right. therapy won't change her situation. some people definitely feel better having an outside person they can trust and talk to. some people benefit from strategies for dealing with circumstances outside their control. | askatherapist | hnaq51 |
i broke up with my boyfriend almost a month ago because i've been hiding my homosexuality from him and i just didn't think it was fair to keep him in the dark. the thing is, we ended it pretty amicably and talk every day and it feels like the only thing that's changed is the label we put on the relationship (and the emojis/nicknames etc we use) so i feel like it could still work. especcially since i think if i was straight we'd end up together. to complicate it, i think about him all the time and us talking pretty often isn't helping me 'move on'. i'm not sure if i should get back together with him, or explore a same sex relationship. suggestions? | [22/f] should i get back together with my ex (21/m) or try something new? | 6aocwd | if you want to have actual sex with women you're probably not going to want to be in an exclusive relationship with a dude. if it's not exclusive or if you just think some day if you were single you'd consider women, uh, have at him if you like him. | relationship_advice | 6aocwd |
okay so me and my rn ex bf have been together for pretty much 2 1/2 years. we broke in the summer for a hot minute but still saw each other at least once a week and talked all the time (so does that even count??) and so we broke up again about 3 weeks ago bc he said he didn't want to bring a gf to college but he loves me?? but anyway we didn't talk for like a week then he saw me at a basketball game and texted and said he's sorry for how he acted he's just sad in life rn and he doesn't know what he wants blah blah blah we've hung out twice and i'm kinda like should i do this i love the fuck out of him but like is it worth my own self esteem and happiness to go through talking and hanging out (not dating) and he may just be like nah sorry. i need advice what should i do? | bf confusion | 5t8mlc | in a long tumultuous rel., it won't survive without professional help | relationship_advice | 5t8mlc |
i am a female, 23 years old, weigh 115lbs and am 5’ 8...... i have panic, anxiety, pots syndrome, orthostatic hypotension, ibs, and recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia.... currently taking celexa 20mg, .25 klonopin 4x a day, 7.5mg buspirone 2x a day, .01mg florinef, sodium chloride 2gm...... now my psychiatrist suggested switching to cymbalta since the celexa doesn’t seem to be working..... i’ve read horrible things about it and i really don’t feel comfortable taking it.... i know celexa and lexapro are very similar but i want to suggest to my dr switching to lexapro and then get medical marijuana for the fibromyalgia...... lexapro a good choice?? heard great things from others taking it.... | lexapro | afmbts | not enough information. why would you switch at all? | askdocs | afmbts |
i managed to ask the girl out and she said yes, with a large smile, and telling me that she needs to leave before she starts blushing. i should also say even before that we had gone out to breakfast after work a couple of handfuls of times where we both traded paying. however during the wait for the date that we had planned my insecurities won out and i questioned whether or not she was even interested in my. during this exchange she mentioned that it was not a lack of interest in me it was a lack of time to spend on a relationship. her current situation is as a single mother, and taking care of her brother(who recently moved in with her) and his daughter most of the time. she has a busy schedule and both of us working 3rd shift makes anything during the day a problem. during the talk about my insecurities as a person she said that when her brother moves out and her schedule calms down that we could have a conversation about a relationship together. fast forward to this past friday. i had a bad night during that shift and had asked her to cheer me up. which worked very well just by having some conversations with her. that was during about the first 2 hours of the night. the next 6 we were constantly in and out of conversations and she seemed to be flirting and being generally playful for the whole night, it was a good time. after work we said goodbye and i headed home. got home and thanked her for cheering my up so well. here is where things get complicated. i had been insecure about her relationship with another person that she had been hanging around with in the recent past. when asked the first time about this person and her relationship she had mentioned that they were almost dating at a time but he basically fucked up and that put them in an awkward situation. she had remained a friend to help him with his problems that he is currently going though. i was fine with that. however, after work that night i had decided to look him up on facebook which was a terrible idea. there i see that he is in a relationship with her. this kills me. i confront her about it, she says she never intended to hurt me, that she doesnt have the time to invest in a relationship with this guy but that he guilted her into it. she explains that she cares about me immensely and truly enjoys that time that we spend together. but she cares about him too, and feels that he needs her right now. i ask her how long she was planning on keeping it a secret from me, and leading me on to think there was something there. she responds by saying she was planning on telling me the next night at work. i end the conversation there, think about it, and find another friend to just talk to about it. come back to being defriended on facebook, and the message 'you deserve better than this crazy life i have entangled around me.' i respond with >i never wanted anything but you and your crazy life. the way you carry yourself even with everything that goes on in your life is one of your most attractive qualities. you deserve better than someone like him. i may not be that person but i sure as hell know you deserve someone that isn't going to scream at you or pop pills while watching your kid. he may need someone in his life right now but that doesn't mean you need to be dating him. i still want to be your friend, but you have to know how hard this is for me to finally find someone to open up to and have this bullshit come out of nowhere. my feelings for you won't change and i can't stay mad at you for very long. and she responds with: >that message means the entire world to me. you have no idea. i've been in panic mode since earlier. i didn't want to lose you from my life and that was my biggest concern. i don't know if things will work out or not and you are probably right. i could be making a giant mistake but i guess i will take one day at a time and find out. i have my guard up when it comes to him. when i'm around you i can be me and not feel like i have to walk on eggshells. i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. after that, basically a back and forth of trying to explain and figure out things between the two of us. i tell her that i would like to talk about it at work tonight, she agrees. go to work, she doesnt show up. ask her to message me in the morning when she gets up, she does. we talk again for about an hour and this comes up. >**her:** im still the same person. nothing is going to change between you and i other than being in a relationship right now. **me:** that in and of itself is the biggest problem. you tell me that you dont have the tim efor a relationship, so i back off to give you time, and then this happens. **her:** i really dont have the time. you have seen my daily hour by hour schedule. **me:** yea, i have, which makes me confused as to why you would do this. **her:** not the kind of time i would have wanted to dedicate to a relationship with you if i had said yes to being with you. **me:** but the time to dedicate to a relationship with someone that yells at you and calls you names? **her:** it's easy to walk away from and distance myself from that. same thing happened last night over something that wasn't even my fault i'm used to dysfunctional. i deal with that easily. **me:** but you dont need to. why be with someone that needs to change in order to make you happy **her:** i dont know!!!! after that some more back and forth explaining, trying to understand, etc... later on that evening i decided to message her in an attempt to get back to normal, so a simple hey, how did your day go. we talk in total for about 15 minutes before she explains that this guy flipped out because we were talking. we continued to talk for about another 15-20 minutes after that happened. then some more normal conversation occur over the next day. so basically i guess my question is, where the hell do i even stand right now? does she care about me? does she not? what do you all think i should do? im still confused but in no way do i want to just end everything with her. | update to [32/m] did i make a mistake in this situation with a coworker [30/f] | 3vojgn | i had to check the ages in this post 3 times. i'm still not sure about them. | relationship_advice | 3vojgn |
i think my mother had borderline personality disorder. i still live at home and probably won't be able to move out for another year or two. how do i manage living here until then? | how do i make this work? borderline parent | 9mr8d1 | the book "stop walking on eggshells: taking your life back when someone you care about has borderline personality disorder" by paul mason is probably the best reading material you can get for this situation. it offers far more comprehensive advice and support than i could on here. other than that, consider getting your own therapy. i've probably seen more folks in my office who are trying to cope with having parents with bpd than i have actually seen folks with bpd. | mentalhealth | 9mr8d1 |
iv been struggling with what feels like anxiety for the past 10 years and only recently have i seen psychiatrists for it. i study abroad and i frequently move to different areas so i can't keep the same doctor. so i usually stick with one doctor for like 3 visits before i have to reset and find a different doctor and explain my symptoms. so far every doctor has agreed it's an anxiety spectrum. the first couple of docs were leaning towards ocd however today i was told it seems it's more like gad rather than ocd. (new doc in the area). iv been on fluoxetine and zoloft for ocd and they haven't helped. now i'm going to start escitalopram. anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation? thanks. | what do you do if doctors give you different diagnosis? | dl3vbv | psych diagnosis always have a degree of subjectivity, since there are no concrete tests like blood work or mri's. ocd and gad, like all anxiety disorders, overlap. ssri's are relatively inter-changeable. mindfulness techniques can lower your overall dosage often. | anxiety | dl3vbv |
my brother in law was hospitalized a few days ago. we are in good relationship for many years. from your experience, does he want my visit? might a visit harm his treatment? | do hosputalized people want viaits? | co1tpx | in general, the more family and support system involvement with someone who has been hospitalized, the better. they will be returning to their support system after discharge and they can be the difference between staying in the community and readmitting. some considerations if these apply to the situation: 1. was anything that happened that led to the admission involving you? an argument, physical fight, a call to 911, etc? if so, it may be helpful to get permission to visit first 2. if there are any hallucinations/delusions involved, are you involved in any of those? if so, visiting may not be helpful at this time. 3. if there was any enabling of any substance use and that is part of why they were admitted, again, be cautious about visiting. 4. if there's any kind of abuse/neglect (if that applies here) and a call is made to family services, you wouldn't be allowed to visit, obviously. other than that, do what you feel comfortable doing. they always have a right to refuse visitors. it might be nice to give them a call and ask if they would like you to visit. good on for you trying to be supportive during such a fragile time. | mentalhealth | co1tpx |
i have such an addiction to instant gratification. i smoked a little weed after being off it for 4 months, and, as of today i’ve been stoned for 3 straight weeks. it gets in the way of me doing my schoolwork, it fucks up my sleep schedule and i often sleep like 4 or less hours a night during the week, it makes me spend too much time watching porn or other bs. i also have anger/rage problems, and at first i smoked weed to help myself chill, but then when i go without weed in me for a while, i get really irritable and snap at people. anyways, that’s all not good. it’s so hard to resist. hearing it from someone else helps a lot, please tell me i won’t smoje weed today, y’all!! | tell me i’m not going to smoke today, please | evael6 | you can do it. you can make it through today. | leaves | evael6 |
hi everyone. i've been having some troubling symptoms for a while now, and it's getting worse. before i get any comments about how i should go see a doctor, i have and i'm waiting on a neurologist to call so we can set up an eeg. the other morning, i lost my glasses. when i tried to retrace my steps to try and find them, i realized that i didn't remember anything i did after work that night. i got off at work around 4 pm, so it wasn't like i just went home and went to bed. my phone shows that i called and texted a few friends and had a relatively normal conversation. this isn't a rare occurrence for me either. it happens quite often. another thing that's happening is sometimes i forget what numbers are. like they have no meaning behind them. they're just symbols at that point. which gets me in trouble at work because i work in a retail store where we have to get your phone number or we get in trouble. the scariest thing that's happening is there are times where i (for lack of a better term) pass out. apparently i get really nauseous and say i need to lay down, which it ends up being on the floor the the majority of the time since i (according to the people i'm with) don't have the energy to walk to a more comfortable place to sleep. there are times that i just fall out. it happened a couple weeks ago in a public bathroom and my boyfriend had to send someone in there to check on me. after i realized what was going on, i was insanely disoriented. the reason why i'm posting is hopefully so someone can explain further what might be going on. i trust my doctor and his judgement. i don't believe he'd send me to a neurologist if he didn't think it was necessary. i don't drink or do drugs. i take lamictal, prozac, xanax (as needed), an iron pill, and a few eye drops for my glaucoma. i'm about to be 21 if that matters. i've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, glaucoma, and an iron deficiency. also, sorry for any typos and whatnot. i'm typing on my phone and i'm not having a good day mentally anyway. | memory problems and other symptoms. could it be seizures? | 5vomrm | i'm not sure what's going on really. i think it is prudent to get epilepsy etc excluded by neurology. the only other thought i had was the possibility of dissociative episodes (secondary to anxiety or your way of managing your emotions in general). your doc seems to be doing the right thing though. keep us updated. | askdocs | 5vomrm |
hey guys, my mom has always been embarrassed talking and reading in front of people because she has a hard time formulating the correct sounds. i've been trying to find books and websites for her to use to help her phonics, but every source seems to be for children. i don't want her to feel like a child when she's reading these books. i'm just looking for any help in finding resources for adults to grow their reading skills. please help if you can! | adult reading resources | 7nokh8 | consider having her screened for dyslexia. | needadvice | 7nokh8 |
i’ve been with my wife marie for 8 years now. we met freshman year, started dating a few months after we met, and got married about 2.5 years ago. we bought a house about a year ago, and have 2 adorable cats. i got her into my hobby of running, and we have a similar taste in movies and music. our sex life is pretty reasonable. i have thoroughly enjoyed being with her throughout the years. i love her. but there’s this other girl… i’ve never talked about this with anyone, never written it down (it’s really hard to get the words out right now). a couple months before marie and i started dating we started hanging out with samantha. when we met sam i had a bit of a crush on her, but being an insecure 18 year old with almost no dating experience i didn’t do anything. shortly after, marie and i started hanging out more one-on-one, and 3 months later i kissed her to start our relationship. after being apart for most of the summer, our relationship was a bit rocky the next school year. years later marie shared with me that she was very close to breaking up with me, and i probably would have done the same if i wasn’t so scared of confrontation and emotional conversations. sam and marie were roommates and i lived down the hall. i can’t remember why, but i didn’t want marie to spend the night more than a few times a week, which she wasn’t very happy about. throughout this rough patch, even throughout the beginning months of my relationship with marie, my crush on sam remained. marie, sam, and i continued to be inseparable friends, and my life with marie grew more and more solidified. the coward inside me, the coward who was uncertain of our relationship but didn’t say or do anything, grew ever less likely to say anything. marie and i moved in together after 3 years of dating and got our first cat. she graduated and got a job while i finished my masters. i graduated and got a job, we moved a few times, we got another cat, we built a life together. sam moved 4 hours away for a job and had a single short relationship during that time, but she moved back after a year because she missed us. 2 years later sam was the maid of honor at our wedding. she and marie are each other’s best friends, as am i to both of them. sam and i are in the same profession, so when she moved back we both got a job at the same company. we’ve been working in the same office now for 4 years. we talk almost every day in the office, get lunch together frequently, and vent to each other about work. whenever we do this in front of marie it makes her feel very left out, so we try to avoid discussing work in front of her. over the last year she’s developed a crush for one of our coworkers, and marie and i want her to pursue it, but we both know that she’s unlikely to. her fear and cowardice around relationships feels to me very similar to mine - she wants something but is too afraid to communicate it. save for that single short relationship when she moved away, sam has never had a boyfriend. she’s been kissed by that one boy, but that’s it. she has social anxiety and whenever she starts messaging someone on a dating website she freaks out and stops communicating. she is worried she will never be in a relationship. marie and i (along with a few others in our friend group) have been there for her, trying to encourage her to get to the next step, but it causes her too much stress. i like to think i’m an emotionally strong person. i control my emotions, i push them down when i need to. sam and marie are both very emotional people. marie wears her emotions on her sleeve (the exact opposite of me). i know she is head over heels in love with me, and wants nothing more than to be with me forever. i know that i want nothing more than to want nothing more than to be with her forever. my emotional strength and emotional endurance has allowed me to believe it’s true, but so very frequently i feel a pang in my chest. the pang is wondering how much i’m lying to her, lying to myself, about how i feel. the pang is wondering what happens 2 years from now when we both want to have kids but i don’t know if i should have them with her. the pang is wondering if in 50 years i’ll wonder if i’ve truly been happy with my life with marie but it’ll be too late to do anything. marie, like sam, is an insecure person, but in other ways. marie has always been a bit overweight, and is very insecure about it. i focus on trying to steer us collectively toward better food and exercise choices but it’s hard for her to shake a lifestyle she’s had her entire life. so she’s constantly self conscious about her weight, asking me if she’s fat. now, she’s not morbidly obese, but she is a bit chubby. truthfully, i’d like it if she lost some of that weight permanently, and she would as well, but it requires a level of lifelong self discipline that i don’t know if she has. i don’t know if i would care about this if she didn’t constantly ask me if she’s fat. i feel like such an asshole thinking and writing this, but all the asking has made me notice it more and make it harder for me to look her in the eyes and say “no honey, you’re not fat”. because she is a little fat. and the fact that she constantly is self conscious about it, wants to change, yet doesn’t is very tiring for me. again, i feel like an asshole for this, but when sam asks me if she looks fat i can truly look her in the eyes and tell her that she is beautiful and perfect the way she is. i don’t want to feel like i’m lying to my partner. as best friends, sam and i frequently hug. just this afternoon she was having a bad day at work so i went to her desk, gave her a hug, and she put her head on my shoulder. every time this happens and i smell her hair i get those butterflies you get around your crush. i look forward to every chance i have a reason to give her a hug or have her lean against me. marie and i have been together for 8 years and i don’t get the butterflies for her anymore. i know when you’re together that long those things die down - am i just nostalgic for that time in my life (maybe wishing i could have had that feeling a few more times in college) or does that actually mean something? that’s the question that i try to push down, try to not ask myself literally every day. in many ways marie and i are perfect together, but in many ways we’re not. i really don’t want to get caught up in a “grass is greener” mindset, but i frequently wonder if sam and i would be better together. i have no close friends with whom i can confide this in. all my close friends are also close friends with marie and sam, so for years i’ve kept this to myself. i have tried testing the waters with marie, tried sharing with her some of my smaller insecurities, and every one of those conversation somehow ends with me reassuring her that i’m not going to break up with her. i have thought about sharing some of my thoughts in sam, but i think knowing this would only lead to pain for her. those butterflies in my stomach when i’m near her wants to think maybe she has thought about me like that, but the rational part of me knows that any indication she’s given me has simply been a girl interacting with her platonic best friend of 8 years. so there’s my brain dump. i know it was rambling in places and too much background throughout. but it’s hard to explain concisely a friendship, a marriage, a crush, that’s lasted 8 years. i love sam so much. i love marie so much. i don’t want to hurt either of them. and i don’t want to throw out what is, by all rational measurements, an amazing life. but i don’t know how i can be honest with myself and live without this pain and do that. i would love nothing more than to wake up tomorrow and feel nothing but platonic friendship for sam and undying love for marie. some days i can convince myself that i feel that way, but it always goes away. i would love any advice to help me process this and get through this situation. thank you so much. tl;dr - my wife and have both been bffs with a woman for our whole relationship of 8 years, i’ve had a constant crush on this bff for most of that time. how can i reconcile my desire for the friend, the marriage i have with my wife, and the friendship the 3 of us have? | i [27/m] have an 8 year crush on my and my wife's [27/f] best friend [27/f] of 8 years | 6fpxjs | you don't need to reconcile anything. you have feelings and thoughts, but nothing you describe is rare. you have what you have. you fantasize about something that may not be possible. you get to pick what to do, man. nothing's stopping you. | relationship_advice | 6fpxjs |