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asking here as my 6 year old's therapist has not been able to confirm she can be paid via zoom sessions and left trying to figure out my 6 year old's situation. he sees a therapist for anxiety/ oppositional behavior. just before the pandemic when we saw what was coming, we left the city for a house in the country and my husband also lost his job. i've spent 10,11 hours a day on rolling calls trying to save mine and my team members and my husband has done most of the parenting. i'm sure all this has thrown my son for a huge loop; but it is manifesting in anger and really just wanting me to go completely away seemingly. when i try to spend time with him he mostly seems not happy about it. what can i do to bond and repair and help him? | how to handle 6 year old pulling away since quarantine? | fyvbzl | so many kids are struggling right now with this quarantine. 1. previous routines are gone. 2. active play is greatly reduced . 3. social connections are severed. 4. parents are stressed financially, worried about the present and future. some couples are arguing more. 5. space in the home is different and compromised, as parents are working from home and kids are doing school work. 6. many kids have increased their screen time, which has a huge impact on behavior and regulation. 7. what else? you can't fix this situation, but you can address these changes to the best of your ability in whatever way works best for your family . routine and physical activity are really important for young kids , and a primary stressor during this time. | askatherapist | fyvbzl |
everything's on fire now? calm. need to rest up so i'm ready when everything's on fire later? panic. i swear i can't properly rest unless there's something stressing me that i'm avoiding. i can get distracted, but i can't "just take a break". any tips on this? | periods of stress & calm seem detached from anything immediate? | a6lt5b | have you tried practicing mindfulness at all? | adhd | a6lt5b |
this happens to me more than i would like - i go out with a great guy, we have a lot in common...there's no chemistry (imo), but the dude is still interested in another date. i don't really like ghosting people or lying to them (i.e. the ex is back yada yada). what's a nice way to say i had a nice time but one date was enough? | what's the best way to say you're not interested after a first date that went really well? | 6ah3l8 | i had a nice time, but i'm looking for something different. | relationship_advice | 6ah3l8 |
i'm a student teacher and periodically we're made to attend seminars related to the field of teaching. today we had a seminar about wellness and mental health for teachers, especially new ones. unfortunately there was a late start due to snow and the seminar was condensed. the presenter had us fill out a survey where we rated the satisfaction we received from various facets of our lives. i feel fairly content, but i was shocked to see that i was mostly unsatisfied with these facets (spirituality, work, etc. etc.) later on, we were asked to list the top 5 things we do to deal with stress... and i couldn't think of a single thing. see, to me, i see stress as emanating from stressors. imagine that there's an epicenter where the stressor resides and waves of stress radiate from it. presumably there's a linear path to overcoming the stressor and stopping this cycle. every leisure activity seemed like a way to delay tackling the problem rather than a way to help cope with the problem. i felt sort of out of place and uncomfortable because i didn't buy the premise that going for a walk or hanging out with friends would help me de-stress because the stressor would still be there... is that just a wrong headed or unhealthy way to think about stress? | thoughts from a wellness seminar today... | 1wovk0 | 1) do you feel like stress is most of your life? if not, then i would say that there is nothing wrong with you and you just have a narrow view of stress. stress, especially in psychology, is just anything that exerts pressure on your life, whether it's good or bad. relationships are stressful. deadlines are stressful even if you have no problem meeting them. so maybe what they mean by stress and what you mean by stress are different? 2) being dissatisfied with parts of your life. if you were one of the new teachers, you're probably not much out of school, so that's not that surprising. you're the only one who can figure out what it actually means, and if it bothers you, you should consider seeing a counselor just to talk it out with. plus, their measure might not be accurate or reliable, so there's always that. | mentalhealth | 1wovk0 |
i don’t know if it’s bpd or something else, but whenever someone says they like me i just cringe. maybe i think they’re too needy and i don’t what that responsibility or i don’t think i’m worthy of being liked. once they say this i just don’t want to be around them. i’ve literally kicked people out of my house or ghosted people who like me too much. | dae get repulsed by people who say they like them? | i73nz6 | huh never realized it before but yes. i don't like people that outwardly like me | bpd | i73nz6 |
i hate the disease. i never want to see that demon again. i’m strong in my will to maintain my sobriety. his dad is too. my homeboy had two seizures and spent 4 days in icu. y’all know what that means. that’s the stage we’re dancing on. my best friend has a great wife who’s handling this with grace. though we’re all a little pissed, it’s love we’re gonna show him. some of it, yes, will be tough love. i just don’t know how to balance the tough love with the just love. have you ever simultaneously wanted to give someone a big old bear-hug full of love and punch them in the face? any advice? (i don’t even know why i put a question mark on it. i come here because y’all have such great advice, even if some of it must be taken with a grain of salt - don’t boo me, i know there is love in your intentions, you goofy bastards.) i will be **reading** this **entire thread out loud**, to him, his dad, and his wife. so... internet- **what does an alcohol free life look like?** let’s have at it. (but don’t fucking filibuster on here so my ass has to stand up by some campfire reading this shit for days with my legs getting numb, you jerks.) i’m going to bed. i’ll check this sometime tomorrow. talk about this with each other. have nice discussions. ask each other questions if you feel the need. no telling who among us might have to deal with this shit in the future, or like me, dealing with this shit now. big hugs and high fives. | 268 days sober - now to help a friend. seeking helpful tips for a two man intervention with my best friend. his father and i are flying in to help him in one week. his father has 7 years sober and i have 9 months. please help me help my friend by sharing how good life can be without alcohol. | chtwgf | omg. it’s so much better. for me, alcohol was a way to obliterate, to sleep away my pain. i only discovered how terrible that sleep was when i kicked the habit and suddenly sleep became truly restful and restorative. and then life became vivid. it was as if i’d been living in an old black and white tv and suddenly stepped into a 90 inch hd flatscreen. it hurt at first, but the colors, the detail, the surround sound! i wept sometimes for the beauty. beauty awaits, if you can stick out the transition. | alanon | chtwgf |
i feel like a huge asshole, but whenever we start talking, she always shifts the conversation to talk about how awful it is living with her grandmother (who is a legitimately terrible person who put her through hell). i talk about puppies, and she mentions how she was never allowed to have pets and any she used to have died terrible deaths and the farm she lives on has a pit specifically for dead animals, and her grandfather would dig up dead kittens to throw in the pit to feed the vultures. i talk about art, and it ends up being about her deadbeat dad who happens to be a tattoo artist. i talk about funny stuff that happened as a kid, she talks about how often her grandmother dragged her to the bar when she was young. i love and support her, and i'm glad she trusts me enough to talk about it, and i try to help, but everytime we talk long enough, i feel emotionally drained, no matter how jovial the original topic was. what the hell do i do? i don't think i can keep it up much longer, and i'd feel like an absolute prick asking her to stop bringing it up, since she *did* have a bad upbringing, but it's become all she talks about. | everytime i talk to my girlfriend, the topic always ends up being about how shitty her life is, and i really can't put up with it | 8ap6w9 | therapist here. from what you’ve described you obviously love your mom but are sacrificing your emotional wellbeing trying to have a relationship with her. that’s not healthy for you. people with behavior like your mom can tremendously benefit from therapy, emdr and dbt are likely good modality choices. she has trauma that is dominating everything in her life. there is video based therapy that your mom could engage in. perhaps you could help pay for the services or research any low cost options. 211.com and nami are great resources. remember though, we are only in control of our own behavior and actions. if she doesn’t want help that is her choice. how you handle your relationship moving forward, though, is your choice. you could likely benefit from a nami class for loved ones of those with mental illness or therapy for yourself. setting boundaries with her will help you protect your emotional wellbeing. | relationship_advice | 8ap6w9 |
hey guys just needing some guidance right now. i'm one year clean from opiates/benzo's and very proud of myself for that. lately the past month though i've been having some crazy xanax cravings. i've always been an anxious guy my whole life and actually had a script for xanax awhile back. i have no connections anymore so it's not possible for me to score any as of now but i just constantly think about them. i would kill to take 2 mg and slip into oblivion for awhile and just feel free of anxiety. it's driving me nuts though. i know i cannot slip up since it's pretty much impossible but it's seriously taking a toll on my mental stability. i just recently found this subreddit and thought i'd post and see if i can get any responses. thanks for listening guys! | need some support right now | 4pupis | did you recently celebrate 1 year? i often get itchy around milestones, once i realized that was why and that it would pass it made it much easier to deal with. what do you enjoy doing in sobriety? any activities that can distract you until this feeling passes? got any meetings to go to or supportive friends to hang out with? | redditorsinrecovery | 4pupis |
which do you prefer and why? | do you prefer small or big cities? | 498fzi | big! give me anonymity and endless options for distraction/stimulation! | aspergers | 498fzi |
hey r/askdocs! male, 21, and 90kg (about 210lbs) with no major medical issues and not currently on any medications here. hopefully my question isn't too vague. i was wondering if there were any useful ways of finding out what i'm lacking in terms of vitamins or other essential parts of my daily intake? would it be best to just head to my local gp for a checkup? i'd ideally like to lose weight and promote lean muscle growth (i'm currently trying to get regular excercise at the gym when it's possible). if there any supplements (natural or pharmaceutical) that you could reccomend i'd greatly appreciate it! | how do i know what i'm lacking in terms of my daily intake? | acw4ug | most people eating a reasonably varied diet in first-world countries have no nutritional deficiencies. maybe calcium and vitamin d, but even those are argued. unless you have symptoms suggesting deficiency, it's not standard or recommended to test. for supplements, there's no evidence that they help anything except in cases of deficiency, and there is a small amount of evidence that they increase mortality slightly. overall, i would recommend eating a basically reasonable diet and not worrying about it. | askdocs | acw4ug |
so i have some pretty bad problems with moral scrupulosity, and i just started a new job. i'm still learning the ropes so a lot of rules are still unclear to me, which makes it hard for me to feel like i have a chance at avoiding a colossal screwup. i've confessed to something or other just about every day so far, and my supervisor has pretty much laughed it off every time. i thought of another possible infraction during work today and after some thought i've decided it most likely isn't something that needs to be confessed, but it's really hard not to confess, and it's also hard to have any confidence in my judgement that i'm making a mountain out of a molehill. for anyone else out there with similar problems, how do you decide when something actually needs to be confessed? i'm worried i'm driving my supervisor nuts, and i know i'm reinforcing the compulsion, but i'm also really worried i'm not going to mention something that should have been brought up and then have it become a big deal later and look like i was trying to hide something. | to confess or not to confess | 72hvrq | is there someone who can help you "reality test"? someone you trust you could run your thoughts by to say "hey not a big deal" etc? if not my advice would be to think it through. okay so what if what if you don't confess? what is the worst that could happen? play it out (if that doesn't make you too anxious) and if you end up eating to someone's life being at stake etc. then confess by all means, but if it isn't truly huge in the grand scheme of things remember we all mess up and are imperfect and if we told someone everytime we'd never get anything else done. | ocd | 72hvrq |
hi i am a 25 year old male that recently got an mri for fear of pancreatic cancer. i was in panic mode so i got it at the first place i could. they did not offer with contrast or not. i am about 5'10 and i was 186 pounds but i have dropped 3 in the last week alone. i am constantly having back tightness as well as abdominal tightness and nausea/loss of appetite. is not having contrast a big deal when it comes to detecting pancreatic cancer? my report came back normal for my whole abdomen. do i need to get another mri with contrast? | mri with or without contrast for detecting pancreatic cancer? | 8y686n | my knowledge of pancreatic cancer isn't extensive, but your description is bizarre. pancreatic cancer is rare in young people, and the nonspecific symptoms of tightness, nausea, and weight loss (you don't say how much total, and 3 pounds is often without measurement error) don't indicate cancer, much less pancreatic cancer. if this were concerning for cancer i would look for other types first. and for pancreatic cancer there is no good reason to use mri as the first imaging modality. ultrasound and ct are usually first choices. i am concerned that you requested this from an unethical imaging center and paid out of pocket, so they just took your money. this is neither a differential diagnosis nor a workup that makes sense to me. | askdocs | 8y686n |
my therapist recently emailed me and told me that i have existential depression, and my next appointment isnt for another week. does anybody have any advice on how to cope or combat this? i also have depersonalization/derealization which adds a fuckton onto my already anxious existential thoughts. | existential depression help | 93lvin | i primarily work from an existential/logotherapy approach. can you give me a little more info on your specific crisis? | mentalhealth | 93lvin |
so i find out yesterday that she no longer loves me. not only that she even devolped feelings for another guy who i asked her about and was told not to worry. so issues are that she feels like things are stagnant and somethings are lacking. she also felt that this other guy understood her better and felt better when talking to him. but she had no plans to persue since he lives far. she had no plans to end the relationship but mostly wanted to tell me she feels alone around me as well as those other feelings. i also feel her depression plays a part in this too but hard to tell how much. so we try to break up but several problems arise. we cant get out of our lease as we live together. so we have to stay here as we both have no where else to stay. of course as well i am crushed cuz i still love her. but she also finds breaking up to be really hard. not only because she loses me and still cares about me but also doesnt to be alone which she then led to talking about how she dosnt belong and wants to die. the reason by the way we decided to try and break up was cuz i thought thats what she was doing but my misunderstanding led to starting those steps. things ended up being a huge fight. fast forwardb to why i say try because we work it out after talking. we decide to stay and try to fix things but honestly i have no clue what to fix as she was not specific. i have a few ideas but i am scared of them not returning and living with someone (which i gotta do either way) dose not love me. has anyone had a so who had fallen out of love? is it possible to fix?, | girl friend of 4 years has told me she no longer loves me. | 5m3o4f | see if she's up for couples counseling | relationship_advice | 5m3o4f |
as the title says i have cyclical thoughts. i have reoccurring thoughts of dying that i can’t shake. i’ve been dreaming of death and it’s getting old. i graduated therapy last year when my therapist retired and i thought i had kicked these thoughts. i’ve taken my medicine (zyprexa 10mg and hydroxezine 25mg) regularly i never miss a dose. but i am so tired of thinking about death whether my own or of family members. any advice or anyone dealing with it i would really appreciate the comments. | cyclical thinking i can’t turn it off! anyone else deal with it? | i1jh15 | you could try replacing the thoughts with other ones. so maybe every time you think about death, try and think about sunflowers instead. focus super hard on sunflowers for as long as possible. something benign that you dont want to totally ruin for yourself once you begin to associate it with death. also, this one is hit or miss, but you can try reasoning with yourself. when you start feeling the intrusive thoughts, come up with some contradictory affirmations. "this isnt real, this is just a thought. it has no power over reality. there is no reason for me to think about this right now." that kind of thing. or you could try some basic grounding techniques. identify 4 things in the room you can see. what stands out about each thing? 3 things you can hear. where are the noises coming from? 2 things you can feel. what do they feel like? 1 thing you can smell. where is it coming from? or, if there are categories of things you like, you can categorize things in your head. species of amphibians. models of cars. develop a ranking system. | bipolarreddit | i1jh15 |
43 year old caucasian male 200lbs 5ft 11in with no known pmh. no current medications. nka. does not drink or smoke but uses marijuana occasionally. symptoms occur when startling from sleep usually feeling like he is really late for work. he states he becomes extremely nauseous and has to run to the bathroom where he precedes to have vomiting and diarrhea. cannot correlate with any specific foods. he calms down and returns to normal after he realizes he is in fact not late to work. symptoms have been occurring off and on for the past year and half and happen every couple of months. no reports of fever but did mention he becomes drenched in sweat. he does have severe snoring. not sure if this should be evaluated by a cardiologist or sleep physician, any insight would be greatly appreciated! tyia | trying to help my brother find the right doctor for his symptoms | cxqfdp | nad but a licensed counselor. i am not making a recommendation, just sharing some information that may be helpful in the search for what steps to take next. sleep apnea can cause the area of the brain that triggers the "fight or flight" response that comes with anxiety and panic attacks to activate. in clients i have worked with who have presented after receiving medication for anxiety with no significant changes in their symptoms, sleep apnea has been the root cause in several of the cases. lack of oxygen can lead to a buildup of co2, which triggers activation of the "fight or flight" response. additionally, when individuals are not getting sufficient quality sleep, their ability to adequately self regulate their responses to stressors is diminished, thus making them more susceptible to anxiety and panic attacks. in these instances, anti-anxiety medications are not helpful and in fact can make the symptoms worse as they often have a sedating effect, thus relaxing the muscles in the throat and suppressing efficient breathing even further. i'll be curious to see what a physician will say because as i said, nad. just speaking from my own anecdotal clinical experience. here is some info about it if you or your brother want to learn more. WEBLINK | askdocs | cxqfdp |
now that i’m over 100 days in i’m feeling so grateful for so much even things that seem insignificant. - waking up with out a hangover - making my bed every morning - brushing and flossing my my teeth twice a day - washing my face twice a day - actually being able to stick to a whitening routine (my teeth are actually whiter for the first time ever!) - not wasting all of my sick time/pto on hangovers! (i already saved up enough pto to take a weeks vacation!) - actually giving my dog the attention and time he deserves! - not fighting with my husband over nonsense - remembering my moms birthday and taking her out for lunch - cleaning my house (still working on this but i’m definitely getting better at it!) - consistently writing in a journal - early weekend breakfasts - sleeping in because i want to not because i’m in to much pain to get up - remembering going to bed every night - not worrying about getting a dui or crashing my car - not waking up with intense fear and anxiety after black outs - being able to recognize when i’ve messed up and own up to it i have control of my life for what seems like the first time ever, i still have bad days and i still get cravings, but as time goes on they seem to get fewer and far between. this sub was the first resource i found once i finally decided things needed to stop once and for all and it definitely put me on the right path, i can’t express how grateful i am for everyone here! thanks, iwndwyt | even some of the smallest changes feel incredible | 8utehg | well done. your teeth would thank you if they could 😁 | stopdrinking | 8utehg |
age: 21 sex: m height: 5'8 weight: 150lb race: asian so last week, i went to go see a psychiatrist for the first time and while i was there, i was diagnosed with adhd and my doc prescribed me 150mg of buproprion xl. i started the medication on the dosage prescribed but i felt like it didn't have any effect on me whatsoever. i decided to start taking 2 pills instead of the 1 i was prescribed, but still nothing so now i'm taking 3 at a time, every day. i figured it wouldn't be too harmful because when i visited my doc, she said that buproprion comes in 3 doses, 150, 300, and 450 so i figured taking 3 couldn't be that bad. as for now, i have noticed some slight improvements in my focus by taking 450mg but it has done nothing to help me with my hyperactivity. what should i tell my psychiatrist? | should i tell my psychiatrist i've been taking more than what's been prescribed? | 9tnehs | i’ll echo what others here said: it’s important to say what’s going on. also you don’t want to run out three times faster and have that be an emergency. it’s also very important not to manage your own medications. just because it comes at certain doses does not mean those are safe for everyone at any time. for bupropion yes, at least in this case, but there’s a reason you’re seeing a psychiatrist instead of doing it all yourself. | askdocs | 9tnehs |
i am wondering if people have any advice about mental hospitals (in the us). i am now officially in the adult population, which freaks me out a bit, my only experiences have been pediatric. i am afraid because of feeling suicidal again. i am also scared of what will happen if i end up in the hospital, and when/if family finds out, when/if my school finds out, when/if my job finds out, etc. looking for experiences, insight, advice, next steps, really anything helps please | mental hospitals? | f2j5ha | hello! therapist who works admissions in a psych hospital here. feel free to respond here or pm with any questions you have and i'd be happy to answer as best i can! the better informed you are the better decisions you can make for you. | mentalhealth | f2j5ha |
for the past year and a half i’ve felt like i’m being watched. at first, i thought someone i had an unhealthy relationship online had somehow found my location and put cameras inside my room. however, now i think someone i look up to is now watching everything i do. i spend almost all day by myself and my self-care was never all that good but i do believe it has declined since summer started. i’ve also dealt with depression/anxiety in the past and have add. am i being too paranoid? | do i have psychosis? | 8wi85n | don't go to the internet for a diagnosis. go to a mental health professional! if these things are concerning to you, go seek professional help. let's just say that you are experiencing psychosis. one of the key factors that determines how well a person will be able to function over their lifetime is early diagnosis and being prescribed the right meds. if you are experiencing psychosis or the onset of a psychotic disorder, the longer you wait, the more of an impairment it will likely be on your ability to function normally in your future. | mentalhealth | 8wi85n |
thanks for your support. reddit opened my eyes to so many wonders, and amazing people. before saying goodbye and hanging myself, i just wanted to thank you. all of you. for being so supportive (or not so much!). if life is a ride, i want out now. it's not fun and i'm not enjoying anything. there's nothing in store for an average jane like myself. everything is amazing, and i'm not happy. so i'll enjoy my last cup of tea with honey, put some nine inch nails, smoke my last cigarette and be done with this useless and boring world. don't get me wrong, i'm not sad. i'm not happy. i'm not having a tough situation. i'm just bored of living over and over the same shitty day. please hang on though, as hypocrite it may sound. there's much in store for everyone here. perhaps even for myself, but honestly, i don't want to wait for it. searching for the thrill didn't work out for me. i just want to embrace the nothingness, or, as some comedian said, hell. the fun parties are over there! sorry for the lousy english. please take care and enjoy life. for me, ha! :) edit: thank you. thank you a thousand times for spending your time here, with a throwaway. humanity will prevail, thanks to you. | goodbye, reddit. | uf3dj | i dont know you, and i probably never will- but im asking you to not give up on this world. dont give up hope. life may suck now, and it may always be mundane, but you'll never know unless it changes. there's always hope with life. there's not with death. | suicidewatch | uf3dj |
after dating my boyfriend (21) for almost a year and a half long distance, we are finally about to move in together in a couple of months. i am beyond excited because although we have never lived in the same place, this is the healthiest relationship i’ve ever been in. basically i just don’t want to ruin this, so i was wondering if you all have any advice about taking this next step. what are some things you wish you knew before you moved in with your significant other? of course i don’t expect things to be perfect, so i just want to be as prepared as possible. | advice for moving in with your significant other? | 75nipv | it's a great way to see if you can actually live together. you can learn a lot. discussing money, bills, rent, cleaning, and schedules/routines can be super helpful in the long run and avoid some misunderstandings. | relationship_advice | 75nipv |
ive just been a little curious about this. i have notice some that this might have some truth to it when it comes to girls. i know all girls are different but over all do you think that this may be true? advice, experiences or opinions welcome. | do you think that the saying "nice guys finish last" has any truth? | 1xxpbt | depends on what constitutes ' the finish line.' | relationship_advice | 1xxpbt |
i manage to get over the anxiety of it but have trouble when thinking of what to say without sounding boring or rude. my mind goes blank. also i don't show a lot of facial expression. any tips? | adhd & social skills. | 7j5km7 | one suggestion is "staying curious" about the other person. if you find the issue when meeting new people, start by asking "open ended questions" such as questions that do not require a yes or no response. then be curious and reflect back to ensure understanding..."wow that must have been a fun experience" or "what else is there to know about you?". the questions depend on the setting and topic. remember if they cant accept you for you then it might not be worth the trouble to "make" them like you. it is still anxiety provoking though trying to process information while remaining aware of subtle non-verbals. | adhd | 7j5km7 |
and also how do you hide large scars i have a fresh on form tonight (it was a hard day and i was craving it for weeks not proud) i have school tomorrow and i’m in desperate need of help to hide them i also tried to find an app to help or regulate the urges but i could find any good one. any help appreciated i hope you guys are going fine! | any good app recommendations to help self harm ... pls | elavgs | wearing a rubber band around your wrist, and snapping it against your skin is frequently used, and may be helpful. also, squeezing a piece in the palm of your hand until you can't take anymore is a more adaptive way than cutting. search google for dbt skills that relate to self-injury, particularly articles/texts by linehan. | mentalhealth | elavgs |
hello everyone, is recovery from major depressive disorder possible? also any tips on how to recover? | is recovery from major depression possible? | e5kwgk | yes, it is possible, i'm living proof...it was not an easy process though. therapy, supportive relationships, and connecting with my spiritual side were most helpful for me. here's a spotify playlist i made about recovery; WEBLINK | mentalhealth | e5kwgk |
i have to be referred through my clinic to be diagnosed. they made the appointment today, and the person they've set me up with has terrible ratings. 3/5 stars, most people complain he likes to push sedatives and doesn't listen. i don't know how much to trust it (it's not through google, it's a physician rating website for ontario) and if i should call to switch or try it. ​ ​ ​ | my specialist has bad ratings | a4x07n | online ratings are a useful tool but keep in mind that people tend to be more compelled to go online and share either really good or really bad experiences. for all the bad reviews you see, there’s probably a number of other people who had good or neutral experiences. they just didn’t feel particularly compelled to share them. however, if you’re noticing themes in the reviews - like pushing sedatives - be aware of that and prepared to advocate for yourself. you might find that if you communicate clearly about your needs and preferences, the doctor is totally willing to work with you. getting into a psychiatrist can take a while, so if i were in your shoes, i’d keep the info in the reviews in mind, attend the appointment, and then make a decision about if the doctor is a good fit or not. | adhd | a4x07n |
ok so...i've had depression for a very long time in my life. i started treatment for it again this year, though for other reasons (it's a long story). i asked for the psychiatrist to give me antidepressants and he prescribed one that i've been taking for a month or so now, and i feel like i have no results. i'm still feeling terrible, even worse during my period. i told him that and said i wanted to try another one, he just said he couldn't change it now, prescribed a different antidepressant that "would help me lose weight" (that i gained because of another medicine he prescribed, an antipsychotic) and said that i should start taking it every morning. thing is, he also said to my face that this new medicine would probably give me anxiety because it doesn't work so well with the antidepressant i'm already taking (the one i wanted to change) and that if i felt bad i could just take a relaxing pill (whatever it's called, i don't know, english is my second language). i'm really upset and want to go to a different doctor. am i wrong? | meds for depression not making a difference | dtg9un | it’s hard to give any opinion when you don’t name any medications, current or previous, or describe diagnoses or symptoms. | askdocs | dtg9un |
i have like 50 open, most of them useless but there's just *so much history in those tabs*! before closing any tab i just *have* to hold that back button just to see what pages i've been on on that tab, remember them, and even then i have trouble closing the tab. at times i undo a tab close just to remember the pages again. | help, i'm sentimental toward my browser tabs and have trouble closing them | ej4wit | have you ever been diagnosed with anything? it’s a bit like hoarding behaviour, but with websites. what are you afraid to lose if you close them? is it the sentiment or is it the fear that something negative will happen if you close them? | askatherapist | ej4wit |
i (f20) came home from uni for spring break and my mom was giving me all the updates from the interviews that my younger brothers (m12, m16) just had for some school programs they were applying to. i've always been a little sad that i never felt like a good role model for them, since i had a rough time in high school with grades and my social life, and maybe a little jealous that they seem to not have the same problems that i do, but always so proud that they're so brilliant. ​ according to my mom, when asked about his personal role models, one of my brothers said that he looked up to me!!!!! i feel so happy and overwhelmed!!!!! he said that even though i had conditions that made it difficult for me to get work done, i pushed through. ​ im holding back tears as im typing now hahahahaha but my heart is so full ​ tl;dr im a good big sister :\^) | so so so overwhelmed with how honored i feel | ffohy5 | nice work!!!! you sound like an amazing role model :d | adhd | ffohy5 |
i have been seeing someone for the past 2 months. everything has been good, except for one thing that keeps nagging me. this person has told me about their past childhood abuse and trauma. on a few instances, when they have discussed this trauma and past suicidal ideation, they seem to speak like a different person. the wording and spacing changes to something like out of a movie, almost "cheesy." i hate saying that as it sounds like i'm invalidating what they are saying, but when they speak it sounds ingenuine or what they think "sounds good." to me, it seems like they aren't grounded in reality. this person has also stated that they do not feel emotions, although i am not sure what that means. they described a feeling of not being able to believe they were real or existed, based on the idea of consciousness and chemistry (it's hard to explain what they meant). the also have referred to themselves with a different name (i.e. "the king", not actually it, but gives you an idea) in the third person, but i realize this may also be a joke. does this sound like a disorder at all, or am i just overthinking it? i have a psych. minor, but i am not a licensed counselor. i am conflicted as i feel this creates an ethical issue as 1) i am absolutely not qualified to make a diagnosis and 2) i do not want to cause potential harm or distress to this person or make them question themself. any advice on approaching this topic with them or not is appreciated. | should i confront someone about them possibly having depersonalization disorder? | hjuowi | i don't think confrontation will be helpful here. obviously, i have no knowledge of the situation and have not observed your friend. i only have this very limited info, which doesn't really describe this person 's overall functioning. your friend could have several more symptoms not described. what you described, though, sounds more like shallow affect than depersonalization. if this person has little experience discussing painful topics, they may resort to the detached, "cheesy" movie style speech you described. you didn't mention if this person is a man or was raised as a boy , but many men and boys are socialized to not acknowledge emotions besides anger and love, and discussing emotions can come off as foreign and scripted. it can be really hard for people to identody emotions when they have no experience labeling them. additionally, depersonalization is pretty connected to having no sense of self , so the grandiose nickname doesn't quite fit. in general, your brief description doesn't fit depersonalization or derealization, which looks more like a depressive trance and not talking about trauma. it would be unusual for a dissociated person to come up with an elaborate explanation of why they aren't real (chemistry and consciousness), instead of just kind of existing.. ok, so what if your friend does depersonalization-derealization disorder? i still don't think it would be helpful to tell them , even if you were qualified to diagnose. it is typically much more useful to focus on symptoms and distress rather than a diagnosis. gentle encouragement to see someone qualified to process traumatic experiences may be helpful. of course, if your friend 's behavior bothers you , you may want to step back from the relationship. again, focusing on specific behaviors or issues. | askatherapist | hjuowi |
are there any teletherapy services that hire limited license professional counselors? i am thinking of companies similar to better help (they do not hire llpcs). i know of private practices in my area that provide telehealth services but am trying to consider all of my options for after graduation. thanks! 😄 | question for fellow therapists | gyflkw | if that means you still need supervision to practice, than most likely, no. | askatherapist | gyflkw |
del | called 71 therapists and psychologists.... literally none of them were accepting new patients | hmi3pr | what a mess ! i'm so sorry to hear you are having a hard time finding someone. i'm curious to know where you are finding these therapists and the licensure/ qualifications of these folks. | askatherapist | hmi3pr |
my son is now 11. i'm sure he knows he (for lack of a better word) has normality issues. but i want to talk to him about it and let him know, you're fine and you're "normal" (i hate saying that). at what age would he completely understand that he in fact is a little different? also, are there books to help him/us grow up with his aspergers? edit: you're edit2: thanks everyone for the advice. the wife and i had a talk with him. he already had an idea, we just clarified somethings and let him ask questions, he seemed to really take it pretty great. we are having him writing down things/situations or just questions he may have as they happen or pop in his head so we can later talk about it. whether its feelings, friends or whatever. | at what age is the right age to talk to your child about aspergers? | 3o0qos | i would even give the option of not living with a diagnosis. maybe something like: "it seems like there are times when you worry about not fitting in, and i wonder if you would want to see someone who knows a lot about kids who have that kind of trouble." if he says no, even after some discussion of how it might be helpful, let him know he can ask you about it later if he changes his mind. it isn't a total disaster not to live with a diagnosis, especially if the child doesn't want one (11 might be old enough to make a choice about that). without a diagnosis, you are just a person with unique problems, just like everyone else. that is okay. if he says yes, have your child reassessed and make it a collaboration with the child from the start. the professional doing the assessment can help guide you through talking with your child. i would view this approach as a redo, since i truly agree that the child should have been aware of this part of his identity from day one. | aspergers | 3o0qos |
i don't have a problem with it, but i find it sad i can't find anything to do. i would say i have many friends and acquaintances, but i don't exactly hang out in one group. i'm a drifter. i can't say i hang out with one group regularly, so if i want something to do i have to go out of my way to look for it. i'm not the one being contacted. any other single people (22m) like myself don't mind doing your own thing but still find it a bit sad that you can't find a date or at least a party? anyone else that somewhat well known person but not exactly understood and known? if that makes any sense. | nothing to do nye | 15qncp | maybe make it a new year's goal to try to make some deeper relationships. it's ok if you don't have one group that is "your" group, but it's good to have some friendships that feel very close to you. it's good to have many friends, but better to have a few friends with whom you feel understood and known :) | socialskills | 15qncp |
hello, fellow reddit users. i'm sorry to inform you that within a few days, i will be taking my own life. i will leave behind a journal that chronicles the story of my life, my thoughts, my mentality and why i'm deciding to end my life very soon. update: since my journal will take a very long time to type out, i am postponing the deadline for it to be posted for an additional 78 hours. | i am leaving this world soon..... | 3iz0mb | 1 (800) 273-8255 please call this number. it is the national suicide prevention lifeline and someone there wants to help you. i can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now. someone may be able to help lift some of that pain off your shoulders. reach out to someone, please. | mentalhealth | 3iz0mb |
i am a 16 year old male who goes to a charter school. i have pretty bad speech problems and ocd. it just so hard for to me talk to a girl even through it’s no big deal it feels like it. i know for me personally there is always a little voice saying that she’s going to think your creepy or be annoyed by my presence. my stomach gets sick, brain feels like it’s overloading, my body feels weak, and i feel like i’m blushing. i now that it doesn’t hurt to try but i still just don’t go through with it. i quess the fear of rejection and of being embarrassed is too much. i mean it shouldn’t be so hard it’s just talking to a girl but i don’t know it is. | how to get over my shyness of girls? | 8yd1kl | no matter who you are, some girls are going to think you're creepy and be annoyed by you. no matter who you are or how you act, if you put yourself out there, you will face rejection. it never feels good... but it won't kill you either. the only way to get over your fear is to force yourself to experience a good amount of rejection, realize it didn't kill you or even really damage you that much. your brain will get it first, then your body will catch up, and you won't have the intense adrenaline fueled anxiety rushes you get now. the only way we get better at anything is through trying our best.... failing.... and learning. we don't get better by succeeding and we don't get better by not trying. keeping this in mind, even failure is really something to be happy about so long as you can learn something from it. | socialskills | 8yd1kl |
the last time i smoked was about a week ago after heavy use for a few years. i only ever dreamt this much before i started smoking, but this past week my dreams have been insanely vivid and fucked up which has caused me to wake up in the middle of the night at least once sometimes twice a night for the past 4 days. it's affecting my job and mental health. i'm writing this after i woke up from the most fucked up one yet. first i'll share about the one that woke me up just now. it was a legit vivid as fuck we are all going to die zombie apocalypse. my family and my close friends were hunkered down in a shack watching the news. we looked out the window and there was one loan zombie. it sees us and breaks down the door, first attacking my friend, and then me as i hide trapped between the bed and the wall. someone kills it and we flee as we're chased by others. we go up in a plane. we're flying low and slow over a river. my dad goes to the back of plane, leans off the rail, and dives in the water. we look on as he's eaten by zombie fish. i wake up. the pain and sorrow i felt in that moment follows me out of the dream and i lay with a sadness that nearly brings me to tears. there have been plenty others but i've tried to just get ready for work and put them out of my mind. some examples i can recall are: - getting stabbed - friends dying - my brother accidentally breaking my guitar, i cry in my dream for what feels like hours; for perspective i'm 20 - physically and intensely fighting family members or friends i don't know what to do and i'm having moments of depression that i worry lack of sleep and feelings of sadness will cause me to spiral into an unhealthy mental state. if you know of a better sub i can post this in, please, just let me know. otherwise i could use some advice. anyone reading this and struggling with mental health after quitting weed has my best wishes and should know that the journey you're on will have it's mountains and it's valleys but it leads to a plateau of peace. thank cb edit: i turned on some neil young and took a shower to clear my head. it's a beautiful saturday morning here in the mitten state so i decided to sit on the porch and play my guitar. found some peace of mind. | haven't smoked for a week. been having really vivid fucked up dreams. if anyone knows a sub i can repost this to please let me know. | bnap3n | dreams can't hurt you. they only have power if you feed them, aka think about and perseverate on them | leaves | bnap3n |
i mean having no reccollection of finding a girl, paying a girl, or getting raped by a gay guy seems pretty crazy right? i woke up in my own room like normal, but i have many hours missing. tell me this is astronomically low please. | how likely is it to have sex and get hiv during a drunken blackout? | 13r4pi | it's not important for us to tell you how unlikely this is, but for you to. | anxiety | 13r4pi |
i have a bmi of 18.5. i've taken two blood tests but my testosterone levels were really low. i've gone to three doctors and have received three different diagnoses (normal, cysts but not pcos and recently pcos). it's frustrating and i think it's just better for me to accept that i have pcos since i have terrible mood swings and long cycles (get my period every 40 days). anyone with similar problems? any natural remedies? i would go vegan or no carb but i have a super fst metabolism and i'll be rail thin. i've also gotten tested for thyroid issues which came out negative but hormones fluctuate all the time so maybe i should do it again? | low bmi with pcos. what are some tips to combat this? | 3rujoq | hm. my bmi is around 19.5 so i'm heavier than you are, but still not the typical bmi range for pcos. how are your general eating habits? it's not so much about how thin you are, but maybe eating balanced meals could be helpful? | pcos | 3rujoq |
tl/dr - parent seeking insight- what do you wish your parents knew or understood about you when you were younger? what do you wish your parent would have done differently? i'm a parent of a son with adhd. one thing that i love about this sub is getting to see and hear the perspective of you all as it gives me insight into my son and my clients that reading a training doesn't (i'm a counselor). this sub has been amazing for me to read, and occasionally comment on. you all are amazing, and its a privilege to read your stories, your rants and your triumphs. so, as a parent, i would greatly appreciate if you would answer the two questions above. | what do you wish your parents knew and would have done? | c1f6mq | accepted me for who i am. if i forgot something say, well this is frustrating but we can fix it. if i lost interest in something let me change to something else instead of forcing me to do what i now hate. accepted that my feelings, opinions, mood, style, personality will change like the wind and be ok with that. | adhd | c1f6mq |
tl;dr (at the top, backstory below) - girlfriend got a morning after pill (72hour one) from pharmacy after holiday. not too it, when confronted i was told she got it when getting the contraceptive pill as a "just incase" by the doctor and didn't ask for it. says on pack "to be taken immediately". couple of female friends told me they've never been given it. others that have taken it say you're meant to take it in the pharmacy or something. there was also doxycycline. she says its for acne, which is what it says on box prescription sticker. also used to treat sti's... any uk doctors ever prescribed 72hour pill "just incase" to someone? are doctors allowed to say some medicine is for x when really it's for y? right... so this is a weird one, it's not a medical condition for myself as such. my girlfriend and i, of 3 years now, have been having a rocky period (bit of background, bear with me). we live together. she went off on holiday with a friend, already planned .etc. didn't really bother me, while over there though, in menorca, she started to be distant. not really getting messages, or if i did they'd be short and have no kisses at the end. this may seem trivial, and i know she's on holiday, but this has come from us texting or calling whenever we're not together to this... fast forward to near end of holiday. she rings me wanting to book her a doctors appointment. says its to go back on the contraceptive pill (yasmin - she came off it as family history of dvt and gives her headaches/migraines). try and book one, nothing available. gets stressy at me and annoyed at not getting appointment. fast forward to return. morning after she lands, goes to doctors to try and get a walkin and does. comes back with prescription bag and goes out. curiosity, cat, blah blah. i look in bag and find morning after pill, not taken, and doxycycline (claims its for acne and that's what it says in box sticker). when confronted about morning after pill, she laughs it off and says the doctor gave it her as a "just in case" and that i was being silly. this was a few weeks ago. | prescription help - need uk doctor (i think) | 4zobbi | if the pharmacy sticker on the doxycycline box says acne, then its for that. i'm also suspicious about the need for the morning after pill, by your reports. sorry. | askdocs | 4zobbi |
i'm constantly trying to push my shoulders down and back but it's so difficult. i have pretty bad hunched shoulders, and tons of jaw tension as a result. it's a mix of bad habits and generally moving through life led by anxiety and stress. i'm always physically tense and everyone notices. its super frustrating and makes me feel self-conscious. i just hate when people call me out on it - "are you a worrier?" or they just laugh at me for looking nervous. does anyone else feel this way? i do exercises, use weights, stretch, foam roll, etc. but it's like, daily things such as driving, using a computer, work posture -- all keep me right back in the same position. | undoing all my body tension created from years of anxiety | aggdjt | i got one of those adjustable standing desks and that did wonders for my overall posture. so did core exercises, but sounds like you're on top of the exercise thing. | anxiety | aggdjt |
so here' she thing, i've been talking to some girls on tinder and things have been going good. i've been traveling a lot lately so meeting up isn't easy right now and i'm trying to keep things running until there is a possibility to meet up. the thing is, the first bit on tinder isn't that hard for me and in this stage i was able to keep this girl engaged and we were just getting to know each other. we had a really fun conversation, so far so good! however, now comes the hard part. i've been talking to her on tinder for about two weeks and have finally acquired her number, but now the conversation seems to get stale. i don't really know what to talk about anymore and for the last two days we've had less contact and the conversation was more about mundane day to day stuff, not really that engaging or fun. she doesn't start the conversation anymore and i don't know how to start having a fun conversation again just like we had on tinder. the basic intro's like 'how was your day' after not having talked to her for more than a day just feel like me being boring and not really moving the conversation forward. she seems really interesting and i would really like to meet up with her but right i'm worried i'm losing her interest by being boring. | conversations running stale, don't know what to do | 4dm2iv | i wrote a [guide to conversation](WEBLINK) that you might find helpful :) | socialskills | 4dm2iv |
my boyfriend is dissociating badly because someone triggered him by alluding to a trauma that he has been through. he said he can't even recognize himself in the mirror. what do i do to help? | dissociation help? | 7fi8j8 | grounding. you use your senses to pull yourself back into the present. strong smells and sounds should be which who have been determined to be safe and not connected with the past. | bpd | 7fi8j8 |
i'm a counseling grad student and have to consult with 3 lpc's on a ethical dilemma for my ethics class. i have had no luck calling different lpcs in my area and my past professors who i have asked for help are not getting back to me. basically, if you are an lpc, lmft, ncc, or rpt, please just tell me what you would do as a counselor, in response to the ethical dilemma scenario below. and please state your name and credentials. you can use a fake name if you want. "jennifer’s client, a 14 year old girl named mary, was placed in counseling by her mother for a sudden refusal to participate in her family’s strict religious activities such as going to church four times a week and going to bible study after church twice a week. three months into counseling, mary disclosed to jennifer that the reason she had been reluctant to go to church and bible study was because 6 months ago, the bible study teacher, mr. roberts, walked in on mary and a female friend kissing in an empty classroom. mr. roberts then demanded to see mary in his office where the teacher told her that he wouldn’t tell mary’s parents what she was caught doing if mary performed sexual acts on him. on four different occasions, mr. roberts requested sexual favors from mary, each time reminding mary that if she told anyone, he would tell her parents that she was caught with another girl. mary begs jennifer not to tell anyone of these events because her parents are very anti-gay and have made it clear to all their children that they would no longer be considered a part of the family if any of them chose to be homosexual. mary is afraid that if mr. roberts gets in trouble, her parents will find out and that she kissed another girl and will reject her." | ethical dilemma scenario. please help! | 2aiyc9 | lpc here. frankly, the code of ethics and the law is very very clear on this issue. mary is a minor. her teacher is sexually molesting her, and apparently other children as well. therapists have an ethical and legal obligation to immediately report any known (or suspected) abuse of a minor. while yes, it may have some consequences to mary if her mother finds out she might be gay, sexual abuse is also a clearly damaging and traumatic event. i would tell mary of my obligation to report this sexual abuse and we could discuss contingency plans for the fall out, but there really is no other choice but to alert her parents and cps immediately. in fact, a therapist can be legally held liable if they knew about it and did not report it. | mentalhealth | 2aiyc9 |
'patients with ocd may believe that not preventing a catastrophe is the same thing as causing the catastrophe, which leads to efforts to prevent a foreseen disaster, regardless of how unlikely it may appear – a process that triggers and perpetuates ocd' ​ it's from a research paper but i'm skeptical | is this paragraph on ocd true? | fkq17x | yes, absolutely true, all part of the feedback loop | askatherapist | fkq17x |
so i started taking 40mg of atomoxetine about 3 weeks ago and each day when i take it i get shakes, like all my muscles will be shivering all the time so i'm shaking like a chihuahua. my doctor told be about a week ago that it might go away but it hasn't gotten any better, and it's not a stimulant so i'm wondering what in it would cause me to shake. i was put on atomoxetine as a replacement for adderall because adderall would make me so tired i would almost pass out. like whenever i took it i'd be almost asleep even if i was standing up and it was so painful to stay awake that i'd have to leave class to sleep. sometimes it wouldn't make me tired though, but i'd get hot flashes and a very fast heartbeat so nothing seems to be helping me. just wondering if anyone had any thoughts about this! edit: i should also note that i've been on 450mg of zoloft for the past year and have been taking zoloft for 3 years | atomoxetine giving me tremors | 73h7mn | tremor is a relatively common side effect of atomoxetine - it's a noradrenergic medication, so it's a bit stimulating even though it's not a stimulant like ritalin or adderall. that's also a ton of sertraline, so i'm hoping your doctor is also prescribing that (versus just upping the dose yourself). | askdocs | 73h7mn |
28f, bpd + bipolar spectrum + cptsd, fibromyalgia (comorbid with bpd — probably from stress and hyper-reactivity), celiac disease, acid reflux, history of eating disorders my medication regimen: am: cymbalta 60mg + 30mg, strattera 40mg, wellbutrin 100mg pm: lamictal 200mg + 100mg, i’m prescribed klonopin 0.5mg nightly but i am afraid of benzo addiction so i recently started taking this as needed instead i also have ativan 0.5mg and propanalol 10mg prescribed to take as needed. — i’m decently happy with my medicine cocktail and have been on it for a while although my psych fiddles with the amounts some, like down on cymbalta when manic and up when i’m depressed. recently my psych suggested adding a stimulant even though i react poorly to them, which gave me pause. as she knows, i have semi-abused them in the past (lying about symptoms so i could get them as an appetite suppressant) and last time i was on adderall (admittedly, nearly a decade ago) was suicidal enough that i called a hotline and was self-harming by intentionally eating foods i couldn’t digest (lol). i’m also already on wellbutrin and strattera which address attention deficit, and at the time i was using a tremendous amount of cannabis and my exec functioning has dramatically improved just from cutting that out. so altogether, i was alarmed that she was pushing adding ritalin, and it made me question my whole cocktail. a little more about my mental illness: i mostly have bpd but i also have longer-lasting hypomanic (usually about 6-8 weeks) and depressive (more like 2-4 weeks) episodes. i have a tremendous amount of anxiety but my therapist believes that’s because of nervous system activation from ptsd. until very recently i was using a ton of cannabis but now i’m 16 days sober! because i don’t fit neatly into bpd or bp2, i figure it makes sense that a number of different meds are required. but maybe not! i’m not looking for any official recommendation, just curious if any psychs look at my med regime and think “whoa there.” i’m on the waitlist for another psych to get a second opinion, but while i wait i thought i’d ask the internet what they think! | i’m on 5 daily psych meds and have 2 others prescribed as needed. does this number of meds seem alarmingly high to you? | iw9f6l | borderline personality disorder tends to look like many other disorders and pick up a lot of side diagnoses along the way, which can lead to a lot of medications. however, it’s also possible to have multiple disorders and benefit from treatment for them. the only person who can answer is your psychiatrist or other doctor. what’s the rationale and are these things working? are they needed permanently or are any of them temporary? | askdocs | iw9f6l |
2 years ago, i was on my way to rehab. i still wanted to smoke, in fact it was all i could think about. 3 months later, despite making a lot of progress with forgiving myself and others, i still was fixated on the idea of getting high. i didn't care that i was getting massive panic attacks the last 2 months of smoking weed: i craved escape. i moved into a sober house, and the next day i heard one of my childhood friends had died from a heroin overdose. that was my real wakeup call. while my main vice was weed (mainly dabs, usually around 10-15 a day), i'd dabbled in opiates, benzos, coke, and drank an unhealthy amount. i made the decision to try and improve my life, and not to do drugs that day. i'll spare you the nitty gritty, but full on sobriety has been the best thing to happen to me in a long time. i know not everyone in this sub wants to hear about that, and if simply kicking the herb was enough to get your life back on track, more power to you. i'm not one of those guys. moving through life with a clear head has made drastic differences in my relationship with myself and others, and allowed me the opportunity to achieve my dreams. my dreams were put on hold with substances in my life, and they're mine again. i play in a band (our first concert is this week!), i have a 4.0 in college (after failing out of my first school), i have a great relationship with my family, i treat people with compassion, and to top it all off, i scored an awesome internship this summer. none of that would be possible if i hadn't quit. if you're just starting your journey, it's going to get easier. i repeat: it gets easier. just quitting doesn't make it easier though... you have to try new things, build new healthy habits, and learn to live with discomfort. this all takes time and practice. but it makes life worth living for me, which is a novel concept considering my sole purpose in life was to stay high so i wouldn't have to feel the crippling grasp of depression. if i can do it, so can you. love this sub, love you all. | 2 trips around the sun without substances | 4b9jc1 | happy birthday! and thank you for coming back to share with us a little about how you did it. it's a big fucking deal. as for the loss of identity thing: when i first got clean i was unprepared for the sheer amount of *time* i had on my hands once i stopped getting loaded. so much of my life before had been spent on using, scoring, covering up my usage, or living the "lifestyle" of weed that when i quit i didn't know what to do with myself! but over time i also tried new things, met new friends, and life got busy and full again. as for how i think of myself - i used to think i was a badass, a gal who you'd never think did drugs, who had a dark side, and i miss that still a little bit sometimes. she's still a part of me, but today i'm more focused on living based on my real values, being helpful to others, and not letting my fears and anxieties hold me back from living life. if you're looking to build self-esteem, my sponsor has suggested doing kind things for others and not telling anyone else or looking for something in return. it's not always easy but it does work. | leaves | 4b9jc1 |
i’ve been having a pretty serious mental health crisis over the last couple of weeks. due to a couple of involuntary hospital stays and a partner that is policing my every move i’ve become very unwilling to talk to anyone and have been harbouring some dark thoughts that i’m scared to let anyone know about (in case of re-admission/being told to distract myself/being thrown out of programmes that are kind of helping). today i woke up and knew that i was going to do something bad - basically if someone could let me know whether i’m in deep doo-doo or whether i can just let this pass i would appreciate it. what i’ve done is swallowed a couple of bits of razor blade, a couple of button batteries and some neodymium magnets staggered over a few hours. i intend to swallow more later with the intention of causing some deep internal damage. what can i expect over the next few hours/days? and how long can i wait before i’m sure i’m “in the clear”? sorry if this goes against the rules, i’m just not sure where to go at the moment. thank you. edit: thank you everyone for your kind replies. my partner found out and has taken me to a&e. sorry and thank you | how screwed am i right now? | 9sze0g | you sound like you're in the uk? how are you doing now? | askdocs | 9sze0g |
this is a rather long story but i need to say it all so you can get my mindset. back in november 2017, i was having trouble coping with things in my life, so when i went to see my doctor for a refill for my luvox, she increased the dosage (the luvox i've been taking for six years for depression, anxiety and ocd), as well as starting me on wellbutrin. the next few days though, after i started these changes, i became increasingly sad and started having depressing thoughts concerning death and aging. i guess about four days after i started the wellbutrin, this increasing sadness culminated in a full-blown panic attack (the first i've ever had), in which i was convinced i ruined my life, my life was a waste, i had to spend as much time with the people i knew before they died (which felt really soon), that i felt extremely old (i'm 29), my mother was going to pass away very soon (she's 63), and i became just overall absolutely terrified of death. i had never felt this way towards death and aging in my life. at most, i was disappointed that i didn't look young anymore. that's it. i used to feel like i had all the time in the world, and death seemed so far away, and i handled the passings of friends and family members just how everyone else does. not anymore after my panic attack.i called up my old counselor and scheduled an appointment. she told me to speak to my doctor. by the time i got around to seeing my doctor again (about a week after i started the wellbutrin), the thoughts had become so intense and debilitating that i had, for the first time, wanted to end my life just to stop the pain. it was that bad. with my doctor's urging, i went to the er of the hospital next door. there, i met a doctor, who brought me further into the hospital where eventually i met a psychotherapist. she said i was going to have to go to a psychiatric hospital while i felt suicidal (i'm about 99% convinced i would've been committed if i had said no, but that's beside the point).so, i was in the hospital for a couple weeks. no one there diagnosed me with anything or really brought up a solution to my problem of getting rid of those thoughts; they were mainly concerned with helping us patients cope with the events in our lives that brought us there. but for me, of course, it wasn't a life event so much as a pharmaceutical fuck-up. the most anyone did was one of the psychiatrists try starting me on abilify since he didn't want to try another anti-depressant. the abilify gave me energy and made me optimistic, but it did nothing about my thoughts, and i still felt like my life was a waste up to that point. i didn't feel like myself at all. but i did feel hopeful and not suicidal anymore, so i was let go.the next few months were kind of a blur. i had a new energy but i was still haunted by these thoughts. i forget why, but at some point i stopped taking the abilify, and i lost that energy and hopefulness, but the intensity of the thoughts receded. i felt like myself again, with the lessened intensity of the thoughts. it seemed like a good enough trade-off. in february, after being forced to wait over a month because of high demand or whatever, i finally started seeing a psychiatrist as part of the out-patient therapy. my thoughts had gone to the back of my head, since things in my real life were taking precedent. my psychiatrist was helpful with the handling of these matters.but once they were taken care of, i realized i still wasn't happy, i still wasn't hopeful, and i still wasn't fully myself. because those thoughts were still there. i told her about this in our last meeting at the end of april, and in hindsight i don't think she quite understood what i was trying to say. she kept talking about how depression and its causes, but what happened to me wasn't really depression-related i dont think. she started me on zoloft and gave me a mild anxiety agent, but after three weeks of taking them, i felt no change at all aside from decreased sex drive.so last week, when i realized what she gave me wasn't working and i still wasn't anywhere close to getting better, i started feeling panicky and hopeless, so i scheduled an appointment with a new doctor (i'm never seeing the one who started this mess again) since i'd have to wait three weeks to see my psychiatrist again. basically, all he did was tell me to stop taking the zoloft and the anxiety agent since they weren't working (and i've done so) and give me amitriptyline, since the only antipsychotic he could prescribe as a family doctor, seroquel, would interact with the luvox i still need to take. so far i've felt no change with the amitriptyline. so this is why i'm here. not a single person i've spoken to in this entire process has diagnosed me, told me exactly what's wrong, or given me a solid treatment plan to get better. i still have no idea, over half a year later, what went wrong or how i can get better. not a clue. all anyone has ever done was refer me to someone else, or try throwing a random medication at me to see if it would "do the job". not one person has stepped forward to actually do the work to help me get better. in hindsight, i don't think my psychiatrist has any idea what i'm trying to say after numerous attempts of trying to tell her, i think she thinks i'm 'merely' depressed and sad about mortality, which isn't really the case at all. i've had 29 years to develop my feelings on these things, and the terrorizing feelings that have been played in my head since november aren't them. they're exhausting, irrational and terrifying, and i'm desperate to go back to normal. and i've talked about this to so many people, friends and family, and also try rationalizing in my head what i want to think and feel, but none of that works, so please don't recommend counseling, i'm very certain this is past that and its a psychiatric issue. some of my normal thinking does comes through here and there, usually for a few minutes. last week there was about half an hour where i felt 90% normal again, and i was able to think about these things rationally, but that soon subsided. i did sort-of feel a little like myself the first day after starting the amitriptyline, but not fully so, like i did for that half an hour last week. and the next day it was back to the terror as usual. so please, anyone reading this, please tell me what you think is wrong and what you think can help me. i of course will be seeing my psychiatrist again in two weeks, and will fully go by her recommendations and instructions, but i just need something to hold me over in the meantime, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. i'm so utterly disappointed in the medical "professionals" i've seen since november in their lack of knowledge, confidence and comfort in treating me and my condition (whatever it is). i just need a ray of hope right now to try and get me through this, because this isn't living. i just want my life back. required info: i'm 29, 5'4, 169 pounds, male, never smoked. before november, only suffered from diagnosed depression, anxiety, ocd and mild autism. 7/20/2018 update: well as it turns out the wellbutrin brought on psychosis by increasing my dopamine levels, it actually isn't that complicated what happened to me, i just had to find the right doctor who would listen to me and take me seriously. i'm almost 100% back to the way i was taking anti-psychotics. i'll just leave this here if if this happens to anyone in the future. and people, if something a doctor or who you're confiding with says just doesn't sound right, keep searching until you find someone who will say something that does. doctors aren't infallible. | what has wellbutrin done to me? | 8n53yj | it sounds like depression, but more severe than it was before. the difficulty with depression is that we don't really have good ways to diagnose the different processes in the brain that give rise to it. we can only recognize the symptoms and hope that it will respond to treatment, and there isn't really a better way than trying medications that often work and hoping that you're in the group that improves. luvox, zoloft, and amitriptyline are fine choices. augmenting with wellbutrin or abilify makes sense. i'm sorry it hasn't worked. there's genetic testing available to try to guide medications, but the jury is still out on how helpful that is. the way you describe it, things were getting worse, you started taking wellbutrin, and things kept getting worse and have stayed worse, with or without the wellbutrin. from your timeline i'm less inclined to blame the medication and leaning more towards this being some change in the depression, although of course there's no way to truly know. after multiple medications didn't work, it's "treatment\-resistant depression." for one thing, there are treatments other than what you've used. snris, for example. thyroid hormone, buspirone, lithium, lamotrigine. tms or eventually ect, if you choose. it's miserable to have to go through multiple treatments, but you're far from exhausting everything. explain the story so far to your psychiatrist and hopefully you can move forward and find something that will help you feel better. | askdocs | 8n53yj |
i was taught, and believe, to be abstinent from all mood-altering chemicals. ie taking anything to change the way one feels. he says alcohol is his problem not cannabis. i am looking for good solid reasons why it is recommended to abstain from all drugs. thanks for your help. | turns out sponsee is smoking pot | c2mtnx | smoking weed is a way of trying to get out of ourselves. as long as we try to do that through substances we will be blocked from the needed spiritual experience/awakening. we will most likely find that it isn’t what we are looking for and just end up drinking anyways because that is the relief we are looking for. | alcoholicsanonymous | c2mtnx |
i was working for a major global consulting firm until may, when i was laid off. while i had built a reputation there that allowed me to do my work remotely, typically the career i have a passion for requires one to live in a major global city. if i started looking for a job in that field, i'd likely soon get one and be flitting about the globe doing work that saves lives. i have a bf. he will not move from our city. he made this clear from day 1. we say we love each other. we've been together two years and lived together seven months. still, whenever someone refers to him as my "partner" or anything like that he explicitly reminds them we are "boyfriends" and "there is no ring on my finger." i know he cares about me, and i have kept him 100% in the loop on the fact that i am sacrificing opportunities by staying local. i trust that he would tell me if he thinks this is not something worthwhile. however, we have not had this conversation outright. we do not share finances, and have not made any future plans (like buying a home together). by most estimations, at eight months unemployed, with just a bf (not a fiancee or partner), and the ability to earn a six figure income in another city, i should have left by now! however, i love my town and i think this is the guy for me, so i've stayed and nearly bankrupted myself. incidentally, i just got a job that pays half of what i used to make and is terribly boring. i think it can sustain me emotionally and financially for three months max. i'm debating what to do. almost everyone i know has said i need to go after the job i love. i know that if i do, in six months i'll be happy in paris or london or nyc with the bf a memory in the past. however, if he and i are really a go, i would choose to stay here and make something work for my career (i can find fulfilling work here, it just takes time, and i would abandon my passion). i cannot decide if i should... 1. just start job hunting and go. i would have to tell the bf if i start applying outside our town - sitting here in our house being in love while i'm secretly looking to leave would be disingenuous. 2. have "the conversation" with the bf. we are two years in after all. we do not have to get engaged, but maybe it is time to really ask if he wants to spend his life with me. if i do this, even though we both know career looms over my head, my thought is this should be independent of career. i already know if he says he wants to be together forever, i will stay. on the other hand, i am imagining him saying, "we've only know each two years, and the last eight months have been under terrible stress due t your job loss, and i fear you may leave for a job you really love. you're asking too much of me to decide that." 3. do nothing. just keep looking for the right job here and let the relationship progress on a relaxed path. my fear is that i give up great opportunities and then we break up anyway. tl:dr i have great career opportunities that would require me to move, and my bf of to years will not move (that has been a condition since we met). i think he's the guy for me, but then again, we are not engaged. trying to decide if i stay and sacrifice my passion (and a lot of money), or just go and pursue my career and put the bf behind me. | i [35/m] have great career opportunities, but my bf (45/m) of two years cannot move. unsure if i should go, have a serious talk with him, or just stay. | 5qavgn | always talk. the biggest mistake redditors make is they don't talk to their so about their feelings enough. | relationship_advice | 5qavgn |
i have made it 148 days today. i know i am better off right now, but i want a drink. i know i should not have one and i have not. i think about having one all the time. i miss a good craft beer and i miss gin. how do you ever get to where you don't miss the booze? edit: spelling. | 148 days since my last drink. i am still missing my gin and seltzer. | 1kaymr | for me it took ten steps. | stopdrinking | 1kaymr |
(this is going to be long, sorry.) hi, i've never posted on reddit before but i don't know where else i could ask this question. does having aspergers mean you will definitely be rude and irritating? i know not everyone is the same, and i don't mean "everyone with aspergers," but if i dislike this girl i don't want it to be because she has aspergers. i want it to be because she is actually irritating. does that make sense? i like to give everyone a chance when i meet them, but this girl has been given so many chances and she's on my last nerve. i don't know much about living with, or living with someone, with aspergers. what i do know about the syndrome i learned from ap psychology. my basic knowledge of it is that people with aspergers syndrome cannot read social cues and have problems with empathy. this year i have met two people who have aspergers and heard about a third. this is really about one girl though, who told someone, not me, that she has been diagnosed. this girl, we'll call her jane, is super irritating. jane asks very personal questions all the time and then turns those around to be about her. a couple weeks ago, my professor asked me a question about a knee injury i had (we're in the same class and play the same club sport) and she immediately cuts in, starts telling everyone about my knee, and then turns the conversation around to her and how she was doing. jane just always does and says the most irritating and invasive things. she has to know everything about everyone, but she also tries to prove herself all the time. we take a foreign language class together and she tries to figure words out she doesn't know out loud, even after the professor has explained it. it's like, she has to be the one telling everyone what it means, even if it's wrong. i think she craves validation. i think jane also has really bad selective hearing because figuring words out loud is just one example. people tell her stuff multiple times and she will come right back and ask you a question you've just given her the answer to. she drives everyone i know crazy, and at first i tried not to let it bother me, but she's getting on my nerves now too. the worst part for me is that she has mentioned before that she knows lacks the ability to be social. she realizes she says the wrong things and is very nosy, but she doesn't change. she doesn't even try to change. if you're with her her voice has to be the loudest. she will yell to make sure you hear her story. is there anyway i could talk to her and tell her how she could be less irritating? is this an aspergers thing or just a jane thing? i don't know if this affects anything, but my history with people with aspergers isn't good either. i have a friend who was raped by her boyfriend in high school and he had aspergers. and the 2nd kid i've met, he sexually harasses my other friend, who has a boyfriend. so, i'm wary about people with aspergers because of these things. tl;dr there's this girl and she's really irritating and she knows she's irritating, but she doesn't change. i'm trying to give her chances and i don't want to dislike her because of her aspergers but she's on my last nerve. edit: thanks for everyone that was helpful. it was hard for me to describe my point of view, but your advice was helpful for me to understand her a little better. also, she's not "retarded" and some people are the way they are, i get that. and what is with people and sex. i'm a heterosexual female in a relationship. i'm just trying to understand her perspective without being a jerk to her. not everything is about sex. | is aspergers an excuse for these people? | 1cczvz | you don't have to like anyone. you don't have to have a good relationship with everyone. you don't need a justification for your preferences either. of course, you don't have to be rude to someone you don't like. you can just tolerate them or not spend time with them. anyway, i say wrong things all the time. i know i do. i can't stop. if i could always stop myself, i probably wouldn't have asperger's. i can't stop because i don't know that i am about to say something inappropriate until after it is done and i get an obvious reaction from someone. every time i say something new that i have not said before, i take that same risk. no big deal... don't like her, but be respectful to everyone you can no matter how annoying they are. | aspergers | 1cczvz |
i have a constant worrying that somebody, most of the time of male gender, will kiss me on the lips "off-guard" and it's making me so tense like help. i clarify, i *don't* want that. i feel like a cat lobotomized that was thrown cold water on her ass. this highly limits my dictionary. i can't hold a conversation topic for far too long and i jump to another one. this constant worrying-tensing is fucking me up. i can't have relationships with the girl i want because something *"hits" me at the back of my head* and is making me super nervous in a manner of an overstreached rope. i am also "afraid" to sit down and speak to a person standing up because of the logical possibility of him taking my mouth while i am not concetrating and put it on his dick or something like that which will perhaps lead to embarassing results. this is killing me since december-january. i can't get it off my head. it is stuck. | can somebody help me and tell me what's going on? | 6b5wq7 | have you ever felt threatened/controlled by someone of the male gender? | mentalhealth | 6b5wq7 |
so my boyfriend brought back fresh fish from where his parents live in california to where we live in the midwest. he flew it back. he has done this several times before and it’s always been fine. they vacuum seal the fish and freeze it, then pack it in freezer packs. usually, the fish is still frozen solid when he arrives back in the midwest. however, this time, it was thawed. still cold, like felt refrigerator-temperature, but not frozen. maybe because he had a long layover this time. when he got back from the airport, we put the fish directly in the freezer. we cooked some of the salmon up tonight. we ate it about 5 hours ago. of course, i’ve been jumpy ever since. i’m proud of myself for going for it and eating the salmon, but now my stomach is all gurgly. i don’t even have a stomach ache or throat n* - just the gassiness. should i be okay? | took a risk tonight | ejt5qj | thank you for taking the time to respond! :) that’s a good point about the gurgles being more of a stress thing. i like the idea of reminding myself that this is temporary. i’m still feeling fine today! | emetophobia | ejt5qj |
male, 20, height: 6,5 weight 10 stone. so for the past few years (probably 3-4 years) nothing has felt real. i feel like i am no one and that nothing around me exists. it is a horrible feeling and i just want to understand where it is coming from, i have been diagnosed with severe depression and all i can think is it is some side effect of that? i'm really hoping someone knows what is causing it because i really don't understand. when something happens no matter if it's bad or good it doesn't seem to click in my brain that it happened. it's got to the point where even my dreams feel more like real life than my actual life does. | why do i not feel real or alive? | 8ebs60 | everything you describe can definitely can be part of severe depression. i hope you're getting some kind of treatment for it so that you can feel better. | askdocs | 8ebs60 |
i was a binge drinker. a black out drinker. a walk to the liquor store to get 2 tall cans of the highest abv malt liquor and 3 nips @ 10:58pm drinker after i was already too drunk to function drinker. put the kids to bed and let my husband go to sleep alone drinker. stumble into bed in the early hours of the am drinker. the 'i feel fine i don't have a hang over' drinker. the 'i'll be good this time' drinker. *spoiler alert*i was never good. if i had one drink, i had a goal and that goal would be to drink as much as i could as fast as i could for as long as i could. i was wake up early before husband and kids and hide the evidence drinker. the where are my phone/keys/purse/wallet/self-respect drinker. i was the fall down drinker. the 'why is there blood on my sheets and where did these bruises come from' drinker. the delete messages rather than read thru what was said while intoxicated drinker. i was a drinker. i knew i was making a mess of myself and living life on 'hard mode' but for some reason, it felt fine. the pain was worth the pleasure i'd get from drinking. until it wasn't. towards the end, i was sick of it, but i'd always be able to justify it someway. then i did some shit while i was drunk that i'd rather not go into detail about and my husband blew up at me. he was always so nice, so kind to me, even after nights when i expected him to be pissed off. he had had enough and he let me know it, and it was what i needed. i didn't want to quit. i thought about telling him i'd take a break. but i bit the bullet. i wrote him a letter while he was at work, the day before our 4 year wedding anniversary, offering my sobriety as a gift this year. i almost didn't give him the letter, because then i knew i wouldn't be able to take it back. that was 81 days ago, and i haven't touched a drop since, and i feel so much better. i look back on the things that i've done and i can't even believe that drunk me and sober me are the same person. in the past 81 days i've lost 15 lbs. i shower and moisturize nightly. i make my bed daily. i don't fall behind on laundry. i haven't avoided doing things with my children because i feel too shitty to leave the house. i have been eating better. i stopped biting my nails. i feel proud of myself. i haven't really talked to anyone about my sobriety besides my husband and my sister. because i don't want to make it 'a thing' and because i don't want ideas of how bad i actually was running thru people's mind. i'm sure some have figured it out already. we're a pretty close family and i'm sure the lack of my drunken antics has been noticed, but so far no one has said anything to me. the beginning was hard. i cried the first time we went out to eat and we had to be seated in the bar because it was busy. it was a combination of not being able to drink, jealousy of other people drinking, the newness and fear of failure. but, 81 days in and it's feeling easier. we've gone camping. we've done cook outs. all with me staying sober.and next week will be my first sober concert. reading here every morning while i enjoy my coffee without a hangover has definitely helped. thanks guys. | i was a drinker. | cs03s8 | i was a similar drinker to you and identified with a lot of what you said. good for you for getting sober. your gratitude comes through in your post! | stopdrinking | cs03s8 |
hello ladies! i've been browsing for some informative hair loss posts but haven't found much.. so i was wondering: has going on birth control helped manage hair loss? (just started lo -ogestrel myself and hoping that helps out ) what has and hasn't worked for you? | hair loss help! | 4196ua | i have also heard of ketoconazole shampoo being of help; it has anti-androgenic effects. nizoral, i think, is the name. has anybody used this? | pcos | 4196ua |
it's unfortunate that lsd is hard to get, and hard to verify if it's legit, because most people's only option is beer. | other than a few beers, or lsd, is there an anti depression drug that isn't super terrible? | 6sp55z | answer these questions for me. **what exactly is the problem?** *not "depression", but what are you doing what behavior do you observe that leads you to be depressed? you will know it is specific enough when you can tell me that if i were a fly on the wall and watched you behave, i would know that you were "depressed"* **how is it a problem?** *explain to me what your answer to the first question prevents you from doing? how exactly is it a problem? what would you be doing if you didn't have that problem?* **what have you been trying to do to solve the problem?** *list every step you have taken to solve the problem, every solution you have tried. if it has been telling yourself something, list that. i would like to know everything you have done in your best efforts to solve your problem* **what is the smallest change you would accept that would let you know the problem was fixed?** | antipsychiatry | 6sp55z |
my ex just dumped me because she couldn't handle a relationship. she then proceeds to hate me for doing nothing wrong, unless you count trying to change her mind as a reason to hate me. she won't talk to me and this makes me feel like it is my fault. any thoughts? | getting dumped by: cooper 16 | 6a4zsk | stop talking to her. move on with your life. | relationship_advice | 6a4zsk |
i recently tried anal with my boyfriend and we both enjoyed it and have used a butt plug as well. i asked him to use the butt plug and my small vibrator on me at the same time and of course i wanted to have sex as well. he flat out said no and gave me no reason why. am i asking too much?? is it too weird?? i still wanna try it and i even wanna be hand cuffed and blind folded but i don't think it'll ever be more than a fantasy... | i just need advice..[f,23] (conflicted) | 6dy81r | "hey, i'm sorry if i pushed there, but you just shut down and it's freaking me out. can we talk about what's happening?" | relationship_advice | 6dy81r |
i cant help being an attention seeker, maybe i dont like being alone i guess. i cant even control myself. i involuntarily do it, wtf is wrong with me. pls help | i cant help being an attention seeker, any tips how to stop that? | ebws6r | you’re recognizing there’s a problem, demonstrating self-awareness, and asking questions, which is a great start. i’m wondering if there could be a negative feedback loop happening here: feeling insecure —> acting inappropriately for attention —> others not responding in a positive way —> more insecurity. it’s not wrong or bad to need acknowledgment and validation from others — that is a super basic need we all have. sometimes attention-seeking is just a way of overcompensating when we feel we’re not enough for others as we are. we feel we have to be bigger, larger-than-life, more like a character than a person. digging deeper, i also wonder if this might be a defense mechanism you’ve built up to protect yourself from getting too close to others. sometimes putting on a loud outward face is easier than letting others see the more human, vulnerable side. it’s a bit counterintuitive but often attention-seeking behavior can be a way to avoid intimacy and connection. so, how to break out of that kind of cycle? it’s cliche but it really does start from within. if you are able to see a therapist i think that might be super beneficial to you. you’re already 70% there if you have awareness of the problem and a desire to work on it. with good support and some new tools, i think you’ll be surprised at how quickly you gain positive momentum. if therapy isn’t an option for you right now, dm me and i’ll send you some resources. best of luck! source: i’m a therapist | socialskills | ebws6r |
this line o thought hit me this week and it was kinda the reason i looked for this reddit on the first place. first things first: i'm attracted to intelligence. not only to people who know how to keep a conversation going and stuff, but those who really have interest on things like science, arts, literature, and put their heads on it, like to think and talk about stuff, usually with an open mind. when it comes to girls, this borderlines sexual attraction. for instance, if i catch a glympse of a girl i really like or matches my physical 'type' reading a book, really deep into a puzzle, trying to play a song on the piano or even painting, something rises, and i'm not talking about your eyebrow right now. now, i don't necessarily have issues when talking with girls, only the cold approach that's really hard for me. escalating from that to a flirty level (on the first contact) is even harder to the point i can safelly say i never really succeeded on it. other than that, the few female friends i asked about this had different opinions - one didn't believe on the first place, other said it was normal, and so on. you guys have any tips, experiences, or even just honest opinions, about it? for some reason i can't find libraries or book stores the appropriate place for flirting, but that's exactly the kind of place i believe i'd have more luck finding girls i'd honestly get into. | how do i approach legit nerdy, intelligent, and sometimes shy, girls? | 14ojgc | don't escalate things into the flirty level on the first contact. get to know the girl as a human being/friend first. after you guys have gotten to know each other a little bit, two things will be true * you'll have a much better chance of knowing if the girl is truly compatible or not. getting super flirty with a girl who would make a terrible girlfriend is not a win. * you'll be able to move things in the romantic direction much more comfortably. if a girl is sitting in a bookstore reading and a random guy comes up to her and starts flirting, her creep radar is more likely to be engaged. if she's gotten to know you and learned that you're not a creep, you have a much better chance of starting to flirt. one word of warning. communication is important, as is timing. if you hang out with a girl for 3 months as friends and then show up at her door with flowers, you'll weird her out. if you like a girl, let her know -- just not right away. wait until you have a sense that you really know her and she really knows you. and then when you do feel ready, don't beat around the bush. it's very possible that your flirty signals will be misunderstood, especially if you started the relationship on a friendship level. so if you get to know a girl and you kind of like her, have a conversation with her where you're like "hey, i kind of like you." that's much better than sending off flirt signals that she might misunderstand or never pick up. | socialskills | 14ojgc |
edit: thank you for the feedback everyone. i followed my instincts and found a new therapist who is doing all the things that i wished my old therapist had done. although the previous one may not have been gaslighting me, i think she was inexperienced. i know i am not a therapist or student but i could really use some clarity and an outside opinion. i feel like my therapist is gaslighting me. here goes the long but needed setup: my husband and i started seeking couples counseling about three and a half months ago. about a month or so into counseling, our therapist determined that we should do several solo sessions with her and then come back together for couples sessions at some point. neither of us had a problem with this setup. the issue is that my husband and i will talk to each other sometimes after our sessions to talk about what the therapist told us individually. my first concern about gaslighting based on these conversations is because our therapist will tell us opposite things. for instance, not long ago, my husband said the therapist told him that she believes he is a very genuine person. well, not much time later in a private session with me, she said that it seemed like my husband was people pleasing instead of being authentic and that it was a problem. this is just one minor example that i can specifically remember, but it troubles me. because of the way she spoke about this issue to us individually, we had different perceptions of what is going on and how we think our therapist perceives the situation. the second example i just remembered is that she told me in a private session concerning my husband that she wishes my husband was making more progress, and that she expected to see more after this much time. at the time, hearing that made me feel validated in what i had been thinking, which was that therapy was not helping us as much as it should. however, the very next day in a session to my husband, according to him, she told him that she thought he was making good progress. this made me second guess who she is being truthful to. the second way in which i feel gaslighted is that she will tell me things in my session that i will repeat to my husband, and when he brings them up to her in his session, she will day things like “well i think your wife took that out of context.” this has made me feel so crazy that i have started writing down verbatim what my therapist had said in sessions to me, so that i can’t be mistaken in knowing she said something to me. there are a few things she said that i have written down, told my husband about, he repeats back to her and she claims that was not how she meant it. but that was not what she inferred in her private sessions with me. i don’t think it is a good sign that i am questioning my reality and feeling like i am going crazy because of what she says to my husband versus what she says to me. could it be that i am being gaslighted by my therapist? that’s how it feels. | is my therapist gaslighting me? | gygxax | this is not gaslighting, but i have a few ideas of what it might be. one possibility: collateral damage from a therapist trying to do both individual and couples therapy. while not explicitly forbidden, this arrangement is generally frowned upon and often unethical. sure, it can be done well , but what you are describing is a great example of what can go wrong. if the therapist is working to validate you both during individual, she may say things (even truthfully ) during a session to one person that is not reflective of the big picture problem in couples therapy. for example , if i told an individual "thank you so much for being genuine with me" or "i get the impression you are being very genuine " and then later told his partner that i see the same people -pleasing pattern that she sees, neither is necessarily a lie. the problem comes in the comparing sessions. another possibility is that during this phase , it may not be therapeutic to confront your partner on his problematic behaviors. maybe she is building trust and rapport. i worked with abusive men for years and for a time worked exclusively with narcissistic men. i can't tell you how many wives thought their husbands had me fooled. "you don't see that he _____." i definitely see, but confronting too early on means losing him and his buy-in to work. just because i validate something doesn't mean i am unaware of a problem. another possibility is that your partner 's version of events is different than your therapist 's. has this happened in other settings? if he ever avoids accountability or blame, or uses an expert opinion to make himself look better, this could be what is going on. also, if he ever puts a self-serving twist on events, this could be thr case. lots of people tell their partners something about therapy that is skewed in their favor. i have also heard patients tell their partner i said something i absolutely didn't. to clarify, gaslighting is lies and manipulation with the intent of making someone question their sanity . this doesn't seem to be the case, based on your description. i suggest you share these concerns with your therapist . if possible, it may be better to see separate individual therapists. | askatherapist | gygxax |
hi, i was diagnosed with pcos a month ago after years of absent periods and uncontrollable, unexplained weight gain. i was put on metformin to bring my period and induce ovulation, but i've been on it for a month and all i've gotten is horrible cramps and achy boobs, and no weight loss. about two weeks ago i had cramps that felt like someone had stabbed me in the butt and uterus that left me howling in pain. i want to get pregnant, but it doesn't seem like anything is happening . am i expecting too much too soon? i'm on 850 mg twice a day. | first month on metformin | 3sbmdy | if your boobs are aching, maybe it's the start of a new cycle? | pcos | 3sbmdy |
so, just going to get straight to the point. i'm introverted to hell and i hate it. i'm 21, no job (been searching but failing), no friends (only had one whom i could really call such and due to a misunderstanding i feel i now have dropped down to zero), i'm not in college because i've never really known what i want to go for. i'm still living with my parents due to not having any money. i don't consider myself shy, just never really had much to say. i'm blunt to the fullest extent of the term, and it seems more so than that. right now, i feel like i could have a break down if i wanted. i'm sick of how my life is and want to change it. i do have a bit of a speech problem, trying to clear that up. speak more clearly, more open even, with confidence. that sort of thing. i've no idea what to do considering most of the people i've tried to turn to laugh in my face about all of this. i'm just sick of my position and want to change it and basically run as far as possible from it. i'm a very open-minded person. i'm honest. i like to think i'm understanding but apparently i've been told i'm not. yeah, i'll admit i did some pretty bad things as a kid or even within the last 5 years, and some people seem to hold that against me. i tend to leave out key words that associate with a subject which tick off a person and make things worse. i'm probably just rambling right now because i have no idea what else to say and for once in my life i'm pretty upset. i have nowhere or really no one to turn to. hoping reddit, if not this subreddit then another, could give me some sort of direction. as i said, i'm not sure what i need to say so just ask away and i'll answer the best i can. | tired of it all, maybe this subreddit is the answer. | 188hpn | **don't give up.** it does get better. here's a few things you can try. * see a counselor. i know sometimes it can feel weird to talk to a professional, but they are there to help. if you broke your arm you would see a doctor, so if you're hurting emotionally, why not see a counselor? * join [toastmasters](WEBLINK). if you want to speak more clearly and with more confidence, this is best way to do it, hands down. it's ok if you have no experience -- they accept all skill levels. * study and practice. this is how you get better at any skill, and social skills are no exception. read up on how to do a particular part of social skills better, and then go out and practice it until you get better. then read about a different aspect of social interaction, and repeat. there are a ton of resources out there -- you can hit up the bookstore, or check the sidebar. i'm personally fond of [improve your social skills](WEBLINK) because i wrote it, but there's a ton of great advice out there. * don't give up. it's really easy to get discouraged, but it will get better. just keep going. believe in yourself, keep practicing, and don't give up. good luck! | socialskills | 188hpn |
i am underweight, so doctors brushed off my symptoms for years (irregular/missed period, facial hair). i'm having other symptoms now, like tiredness and hair loss. all in all, definitely not as severe as most women. would you say that trying for an official diagnosis and starting hormonal treatment is worth it? do the potential benefits outweigh the side effects? | "probably" have pcos, is hormonal treatment worth it? | 3s3qn5 | consider metformin, perhaps? you could still be insulin-resistant. | pcos | 3s3qn5 |
first of all, english is not my native language, im european. so sorry for any mistake i might write! and please read all of it so you can understand how can i start. so i feel like i change my desire for girls really fast. i might fall in love for a girl 2 weeks, or 2 months. it depends if any ocurrence involving another girl(s) in my life, just like parties (usually 2 times per week), chat messages i might have, social network pictures, even just seeing a girl on a coffee, shop, etc... what i want to understand is the reason as why i change my so strong feelings, and yes i feel they are really strong, for this girls, and so fast!! i will give a real example on my life right now: first there was this girl. i felt so big passion for her, like i cant even explain. this last 2 month more or less, i would think about her every single minute. we played for a bit, i dont really know the word for this one, what i mean is that we enjoyed the moment you know. it lasted probably 2 weeks, before another girl i already knew came back from college. this girl came back a month ago. we kiss, we enjoy again some time at parties, etc.. a week ago, i see this girl walking around, i already know her too for 4 years, we used to have a lot more contact that now. i immediatelly start to get lust for her too, i like her pictures, i think about her, and i probably will party with her too, until i find another girl!?! just tell me reasons why i am like this; am i a freak? | i need your opinions on this - lust!! (19/m) | 6nh6db | it's called testosterone. evolution 'wants' you to make babies. period. | relationship_advice | 6nh6db |
i’m 16 years old, 1,73 and weigh 67kg. i have a slow workkng thyroid so i had to take pills and it all went perfectly, always good status etc but lately it’s been getting worse, i even had to change my euthyrox meds (100mg) to another med to see if it would change, and it still hasn’t. i will get a bloodtest soon and really wanna know what makes me have this? it does suck on my end because of not being able to sleep properly sometimes. i haven’t done anything bad so far, and my mom said that this could also happen by doing weed, which i have never done and which she fully believes edit; it’s not tch, it’s tsh. and i’ve had this thing for a few years so all years went good except for last 2 months | i’m losing on alot of tch, why? | 8sscl8 | hypothyroidism is common and often doesn't have a good explanation. one possibility is that your thyroid is just slowly working less and less, so you need more and more thyroid hormone replacement. taking a pill for it is definitely annoying, but the good news is that thyroid hormone replacement works well even for people who have no thyroid function at all. | askdocs | 8sscl8 |
does anyone else's husbands do this? he complains when i don't take interest/occasionally join on on his hobbies, but when i do he just gets huffy if i'm bad at it, or something akin to embarrassed when i enjoy it/get into the same hobby. it's gotta stem from his "reputation" with his friends, even though we share friends, lol. like he always has to be an ass to me around them to "look cool" and "not whipped" like its really a no win, and it makes me wanna just have all our hobbies be separate if he's gonna keep being a jackass. thanks for letting me vent. and no, i'm not gonna divorce him over something so small, there are worse things he could be doing. | damned if i do, damned if i don't (advice) | 66f9hj | if having a so that shares your hobby is so vitally important, than one shouldn't be with someone who doesn't share that. he married you for you...a package...lots of good reasons i'm sure.....so he should drop this silliness. shared interests are way over-rated. | relationship_advice | 66f9hj |
i think i have severe brainfog, i have severe memory problems, even if i wrote it down, i forget why i wrote it down, and when i look at it i don't remember. i ahve also severe difficulty registering what is going around me, like i can't understand any of it, nothing makes sense to me aanymore. i can't follow conversation or movies because i don;t understand and i can't make sense of it. i can't make simple decions like how to cook an egg. my mind is superblank as if it can;t contain a thought. i immediatly forget. i don't know if this is alzheimer or dementia or brain fog. i am only 22, i have had memory problems for a while now, but never this severe, this all proggeressed over 6 or 7 days. i need help. | do i have dementia | 2xgbhe | you need to see a doctor asap. as in tomorrow at the latest. it is not dementia, but a rapid decline in cognitive function over a matter days is nothing to mess around with. you need medical attention. | mentalhealth | 2xgbhe |
i want you to know how bad that fucked me up. you told me “freezing up” wasn’t a thing and i just didn’t want to stop it from happening. then you let me stay at your house and i thought maybe this was the one time i’d actually get some support. but i had to get on the bus back home, and you broke up with me in the bus station. you said you couldn’t forgive me and left me there bawling in front of dozens of people. i called my mom then, she cried too. i want you to know that i’m probably even more mad at you than i am at your friend. that’s probably not logical of me, but i don’t care. you were supposed to be the first healthy relationship i had after years of abusive ones. but you broke up with me and i’ve seen on facebook you’re still his best friend. i know now that freezing up is a common response in situations like i that. but in my heart of hearts i think i will always feel invalidated. i will always feel like i could have done more to stop what happened to me. i’m married and happy now and have a great life, but sometimes i can’t help but remember that summer. i cried on the couch about it this morning, i’m not sure why it came to mind, but here i am writing this out. to the guy who broke up with me after your best friend assaulted me, fuck you. | to the guy who broke up with me after your best friend assaulted me. | aknylp | i hear you. i believe you. you did nothing wrong and it’s not your fault. | offmychest | aknylp |
hi sd, sorry, but i really need a forum right now where i can lash out and be honest about my addiction. i am so miserable right now. it’s friday and i have had a serious challenging day. everyone is going for bbq and friday bar and swimming here in copenhagen (very rare it’s so hot or maybe those climate changes are in fact real..) and i now have to text my friends and decline the invitation. i know i will drink. it’s impossible for me not to with a) these feelings of stress and need to steam off b) the atmosphere. damn, i hate it. right now i almost hate that i have decided to stop. crying in the bathroom which is so pathetic, i know, we are simply talking about a liquid. stay strong - you are all amazing! | f*** i hate early sobriety and having to cancel all social events to keep from drinking | c6kqs0 | it really sounds like you think you're missing out on something. what exactly are they achieving that you aren't? once you realize that you aren't losing anything you really want, it becomes very different. also, it sounds like you aren't sure about being sober around those people so make sure you know who is on your side. good luck. you're making the choice you can live with tomorrow | stopdrinking | c6kqs0 |
my ex girlfriend and i broke up about a month ago after being together for two years. within a couple days of the break up she started talking to and sleeping with another guy. however two weeks ago she came to my place crying saying that she was being used as a booty call. now she insisted that we remain friends so i let her in to talk although tbh in my head i was kinda happy that she got hurt by this guy i'm pretty sure she left me for. eventually one thing led to another and we wound up having sex. she has already been hot and cold to me and then the next day she told me she wanted to act like nothing happened and she lied to her roommate saying she was drunk and didn't remember it happening (she was 100% sober). following that we had a little argument but i decide it best to kinda just ignore it.. now since the sex i have kinda a little clingy towards her and ik that so in order to move on i pushed her away. as soon as i did so she would text me and ask me for favors out of the blue. because i'm still in love with her i lack the will power to say no tho. however anytime i try and talk to her or ask her for a favor i get ignored and neglected. she tells me that she's still here for me anytime but never actually follows through. also she is still seeing this one guy but now is trying to make it seem like he cares about her although her best friend told me that he only texts her late at night to come over. to make things worse she wound up going to the same party as me this weekend and was all over other guys and being obnoxious. then she approached me when leaving and gave me a hug to say goodbye. this time she was drunk and she held on to me and kissed my neck and started rubbing my crotch. i am beyond confused and unsure whether to move on or not because of all these mix signals please give me any advice i need help. | 20 year old male please help am i being taken advantage of by my ex | 5tseq7 | decide what's best for you,and say 'no' when you need to | relationship_advice | 5tseq7 |
i have a three year old who is nonverbal. he doesn’t talk at all. we bend over backwards to get him to talk, and have spent thousands of dollars and at least 5 hours a week in speech therapy trying to get him to talk. on top of that, he has some autistic behaviours, but we can’t get a diagnosis, because the behaviours aren’t prominent enough, and have “counter-behaviours” that take him off of the spectrum. so we are constantly fighting with medical professionals to tell us what is going on so we can get the right help. we have been at this for a year and a half. i’m exhausted. i’m spent. i have no spoons at the end of the day to enjoy my son and husband. i’m out of energy and patience. i want my kid to go to bed and stay there. i don’t want to battle him every night to get him to sleep. and to stay asleep. i want to be able to talk to my kid, and him talk back. i want to enjoy interacting with my son without having the correct speech-enabling behaviours on the back of my mind the entire time. i want a kid that will freaking looking for eggs on easter rather than get distracted by the way the one he found rolls, and be unable to focus on anything else. i want a neurotypical kid. and that’s not nice to say, it’s not fun to say, but it’s true. all of his care has been pushed onto me for so long that i am breaking. i am not a person anymore. i am just his caregiver 24/7 when he should be gaining some independence. i’m so tired. i’m so exhausted. i’m so very fucking done. | i wish my kid was “normal” | 88y2e1 | few tips as an behavior tech working with kids on the spectrum. im not sure if he would qualify for aba services without an actual diagnosis. try to make each day as structured as possible. set up a routine for every day. don't give up and stick to your guns. times might be tough with some tantrums, but don't give in. as for word development look in to research on serve and return. it should kids learn best when the adult focuses attention on what the child is focused on. pick toys that they enjoy and apply words to them. if you are able, apply aign language while teaching the word or just talking to them in general... "want some milk" *sign milk while asking* etc. | offmychest | 88y2e1 |
i was diagnosed with pcos after i began to have lengthy periods. i've been bleeding since september 9th with a long, nasty period. i am very frustrated. ob put me on birth control pills. i was on the pill years ago, but it gave me all the side effects you can think of. even still, she told me to just power through it. one month in, and i am miserable. nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, sudden weight gain, random headaches, mood swings, cramping, chest tightness, etc etc. i can barely function. worse of all, the bleeding has gotten **worse**, and i have huge blood clots. i've called the ob and the resident nurse many times to report these effects, but they keep telling me it's "normal" and to just continue with the pill. i've consulted with walgreens and urgent care, they tell me to stop the pill. but then ob tells me to continue it, and they will not give me anything else to treat me with. i can't switch providers because there's a wait time, according to my insurance. i mean, am i just being weak-willed? will the bleeding and side effects maybe just get better as the ob claims? | my gynecologist is dismissing my concerns and it makes me want to cry... | 7e14a5 | see if there is any way you can get a second opinion from your insurance, or start the process to get a new ob. ask to speak with the head ob or supervisor, or whoever is clinical and her boss. tell them you don’t feel heard and are afraid for your health. also if urgent care has told you to stop the pills, that’s a medical professional and you can feel safe to follow their advice. it’s your body, you choose to take meds or not. if the side effects are worse than what they’re treating, stop them. | pcos | 7e14a5 |
35 female 5'4" 140lbs caucasion 3 months chicago car accident in 2003. severed and reattached left foot/ankle. car accident in 2020. shattered knees shin bones foot and ankle currently held in place with external fixture from mid shin down on same leg/foot. failed skin graft basically her leg is dying. pain meds doctor today said blood flow was too weak to do below knee amputation and ordered a ct. we are trying to do anything to avoid above the knee amputation. what can we do at home to increase blood flow before this test next week to make it more likely they don't take her whole leg. thank you foot left WEBLINK | how can i help my wheelchair bound wife increase blood flow to her leg to avoid amputation above the knee. | k5mssp | this is a question for doctors. in general, vascular surgeons are the experts in ways to salvage limbs and improve blood flow. with enough damage, sometimes it just can't be done. if there were a good thing to do at home, you would have been told. i'm sorry for you and your wife. car crash injuries can be devastating and it doesn't all stop at the moment of the crash. | askdocs | k5mssp |
it's been suggested to me by at least one therapist that i have a form of ptsd. i started taking propranolol and the intrusive thoughts got better. but let me explain what happens to me if it sounds at all familiar to anyone. something negative happens to me, and then for a long time following the event, when i'm doing or thinking of things that are tangentially related, i'll have intrusive flashbacks relating to the event. at one time before i started the propranolol i kept track of these and was having on average 10 intrusive flashes per hour over various negative events that had happened recently (friends cutting me out of their life). some of these though are weird deep set memories from long ago, like when i was embarrassed in 3rd grade or something. those are odd, and i don't know why they come up at all. other times, i'll see something, and there will not even be a tangential connection between the object and the negative event, but i'll feel triggered anyway. maybe it's related on some deeper level. like i saw an airplane flying by, or opened my bathroom cabinet, and bam! intrusive negative flash. i'm getting over a breakup now and i'm taking extra propranolol to try to help, but the thoughts are so intrusive, and just honestly seems like my brain is miswired, especially when it's getting triggered over odd things (airplanes, etc.). i don't know if having these intrusive thoughts is normal when you have a breakup or not. i guess to some extent, but it's so invasive. does any of this sound familiar to those of you with ptsd? i don't mean to be offensive to those of you who have experienced more serious ptsd events, just trying to understand what is going on with me, if it's at all normal, and if it's related to what people with full blow ptsd go through. | i think i get ptsd like symptoms over less serious events - brain miswired placing memories? | 2b76m3 | can you go into more detail about your intrusive flashbacks? do you have a full on anxiety attack, or is it just the thought pops into your head or anywhere in between? | ptsd | 2b76m3 |
this happened in illinois. i have suffered from migraines and was referred to a neurologist. i am a 26 year old female, and doctor was fairly young (maybe low to mid 30s). during the visit, it felt like he was coming on very strong to me. he kept complimenting my looks, telling me how amazing i am, how good my body looks, etc. i am a stay at home mom right now with a toddler. the whole visit was extremely flirtatious and made me uncomfortable. i never once said anything like "thank you" because of how weird and uncomfortable it was. when i would change the subject or ignore the complement, he would almost act as if he had been rejected. ​ the worst part was when he asked me if i would be interested in a more 'natural' treatment approach to migraines. he said that orgasms can help reduce migraines, and kept following up asking me about how often my husband and i have sex, telling me i could 'take care of myself' since i stay home, etc. he even said "..i know some women aren't able to have orgasms, are you able to?" ​ obviously i won't be going back to see him again, but i am curious if he technically did something wrong in this situation. he never touched me, or anything physical. i just feel like this type of behavior shouldn't be allowed, but when it is just his word vs. mine, there isn't much i can do now. i did some light research of my own after the visit, and it doesn't seem like orgasms are really a medically recognized treatment, so i feel that he might have overstepped by recommending that option? the situation seemed inappropriate to me based on the power dynamics of a patient - physician relationship, but i don't know if he technically did something wrong here. ​ i checked with the state board and his license is active. couldn't find anything online that would indicate he has a record, or something like this has happened before. do i just let it go? obviously all the upstanding docs here on r/askdocs wouldn't condone this type of behavior... but is this a gray area? required info: \- 26 years old \-female \- 5'-4" \- 115lbs \- caucasian | physician acted inappropriate and made me uncomfortable | 9ys3zi | serious question, how would this proceed in the medical board? as op said, it's her word against his. | askdocs | 9ys3zi |
when you find out that a guy is a virgin/inexperienced in dating do you think less of him? like he is less of a man or somehow immature/childish. i often feel like when it comes up in conversation girls seem to take me less serious after for whatever reason. it is almost always met with shock, them thinking in silence for a minute, then asking why. like they are expecting a one word response like "religion", which isn't the case. i'm just trying to figure out what's going through people's heads when i say this. it usually just kills the conversation or brings it to a topic i don't really want to discuss. it even catches some guys off guard a lot of times and they seem to usually behave around me differently so it's not even just girls acting this way. also i only bring this up when asked, i don't go around broacasting this. am i just going about telling people the wrong way or is it a major red flag that i have to live with? | being judged | b1hyx4 | women experience virginity stigma too. i’ve been there. don’t let anyone get you down. | depression_help | b1hyx4 |
i'm a canadian living in the uk, and i've been in a relationship with an english woman for 3 years now. the relationship is good. we're very much in love, have moved in together, and get along very well. the last year, however, has been plagued by indecision about three critical things that affect the relationship: 1) i haven't been sure that i want children. 2) i haven't been sure that i want to live in the uk for the rest of my life. 3) i haven't been sure i want to continue in this career track. due to visa issues, changing careers would involve leaving the uk (unless we get married first). a few days ago, she told me she's fed up and is looking for single apartments. so the relationship might already be over, although she's expressed some openness to me coming to a decision before she's signed a new lease. since that discussion, i've had a flood of emotions that have overwhelmed my previous indecision. i now feel like i almost certainly want kids, and that i can quite possibly live in the uk, and stay in my career for at least long enough to marry her. i'm somewhat skeptical of these feelings, though, because they've appeared at such an emotionally complicated time. should i trust them? or are they just a manifestation of my panic at the prospect of leaving the relationship? possibly relevant information: this is my first long term relationship. i was a bit of a forever alone guy before i met my current girlfriend. | i [29 m] am on the verge of a breakup with my girlfriend [28 f] ue to my indecision on some big questions. suddenly i feel resolved. should i trust it? | 5t8hiw | 3 yrs is a long time to end it without a run of couple therapy. it will provide the answers | relationship_advice | 5t8hiw |
hey guys, i [26m] with that girl(24w) for quiet a while now. we're a couple for almost 7 years now, 4 of which we share a flat. however, i never really overcome the idea, that we don't really fit. everyone tells me, and if i "think" about it, she is perfect. she suits me very well. she is smart, attractive and careful. i'm hard to handle, distanced (to everyone more or less) and impulsive. she doesn't question our love in any manner, but i do all the time. she is a very(!) good catch and i can't imagine to find a better one. but still, there is doubt. on one side, i think its unfair to stay with her. i waste her lifetime in which she could find one who loves her without a doubt. on the other side i know, all she wants is to spend her life with me and that eventually, my doubts will perish. | overcoming doubt [?] | 66g3xx | i would see a therapist to process this | relationship_advice | 66g3xx |
first post on here, hope this isn’t breaking any rules. not asking for a diagnosis or anything, just been having this question for a while. for the past year i’ve had constant intrusive thoughts about doing horrible things to strangers, my loved ones and myself. obviously i don’t want to do any of these things, but they cloud my mind constantly. i also obsess over having health conditions, especially heart problems. i have had a couple ekg tests and every time they say i’m fine, but i always feel that there is something wrong with me. i also occasionally get feelings that my family could be hiding something from me, like a condition they don’t want me to know about so i can live a happy life before i die, or that my anxiety medication could be a placebo. is it wrong to want to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder? obviously you shouldn’t wish to have something wrong with you, but if nothing is medically wrong with me, then what if i’m just a horrible person? what if i’ve made everything up and i’ve hurt everybody around me for no reason? i just want to know, but i feel bad sometimes for hoping that i have a mental health condition. | is it wrong to want to be diagnosed? | hmm2k4 | i think many people want the validation from understanding what is happening to them. i think it is totally understandable :) | ocd | hmm2k4 |
i was with an abusive man for five years. it’s getting close to two years since i’ve made it out. this november marks two years since the last time he was violently abusive towards me. at first i was tired and couldn’t do much of anything. now it seems as though i’m having trouble sleeping, which has never really been a problem i had. i see a counselor every other week and have been seeing one since i left, but it used to be weekly. i’ve been taking steps forward in my life to keep from standing still and to try and get to a point where i can stop being crippled by him setting me back in life. i’m going to just close my eyes and hope my brain shuts off. i don’t know what to do. | i can’t sleep | 9zc1ee | i’m so sorry. this is so common and so terrible. sleep is so important. i guess i first want to ask what your “sleep hygiene” looks like? when do you try to go to bed, what is your routine leading up to that? are you having intrusive thoughts or memories? | traumatoolbox | 9zc1ee |
i'm 5'7", 139 pounds, 31 years old, female, caucasian with a history of anxiety and depression. i've tried two families of medications now (prozac, zoloft, and cymbalta). i've had 90% success with managing my anxiety that is worse in the evenings with my cymbalta and using marijuana oil at night before bed. i've had major issues sleeping because my brain won't shut down for 5+ years, but i didn't start medicating with marijuana until a year and a half ago when i had my first panic attack in a hospital while being treated for anxiety induced vertigo. i never drive under the influence, i wait until the kids are in bed, basically i'm a responsible user. i'd like a legal or a more consistent method of getting to sleep, but having kids i can't take a sleeping pill that will make me completely dead to the world. i've tried melatonin, warm baths, meditation, exercise, vitamins, more sex with my husband, everything to naturally treat this. i have an appointment with my gp on wednesday so i would like some options to discuss with her. my last note about my history is that coming off of zoloft was harder than childbirth, so i would like to avoid medications that have similar withdrawal symptoms. thank you so much. | what can i use besides marijuana to help with my nighttime anxiety (already on cymbalta)? | 8988g8 | you may want the expertise of a psychiatrist here. if you're just looking for augmentation of cymbalta, here are some thoughts: * buspirone (buspar) is often helpful for anxiety, a common addition to ssri/snris, and quite safe. * benzodiazepines are a possible option, but they *are* potentially addictive and tolerance-forming and not a great idea for consistent, long-term use * seroquel (quetiapine) or another atypical antipsychotic might be used. i'd generally advise against. they're sedating and somewhat anxiolytic, which can help, but the potential side effects are significant * beta blockers also have some literature to support their use and as long as your blood pressure is okay are quite safe (and maybe beneficial). they're not all the same; betaxolol and pindolol are probably the two with the most anxiety research behind them (still not tons), but they're probably not highly familiar to a gp. | askdocs | 8988g8 |
something like opening the mail or paying a parking ticket. | is there a condition where you keep postponing the most menial tasks, while constantly worrying about them. | 9kpelj | plenty of things that could cause this. general anxiety, depression, avoidant personality, adhd, past trauma could play a role, you name it. if it's something that's becoming more concerning or debilitating to you the best thing you can do is see a therapist for help. it'd help you a hell of a lot more than asking on reddit and googling what people respond with. | mentalhealth | 9kpelj |
i’m the aunt of two adorable and brilliant kiddos aged 4 & 3. as far back as i can remember my sister, their mother, has had extreme social/ behavioral issues. her behavior includes weekly tantrums where she threatens (sometimes physically acts on the threats), verbally abuses, and has manipulate recollections of events to skew favor. their father unfortunately is the same. he has caused my sister to get evicted from 2 homes bc he beats her and threatens neighbors. as far as i can think she’s always been incredibly malicious and demented when in this state. though when she’s not acting out she’s incredibly sweet and personable. she’s almost 30 and i don’t have space or energy for her anymore. my concern is with my niece and nephew. i fear the trauma they witness daily will negatively impact them. not only will it impact their perception of reality but they’ll be affected academically, socially, etc...they are already portraying signs of excessive aggression and manipulation. when the younger one gets happy he curses and hits things. when he’s angry he spits and lunges for attack. when his older sister wants something she smiles, says “i love you...can i ____?” i tried to explain she doesn’t have to do that but imagine being told one thing and experiencing another. i lived with my sister before moving out, i know how stressful and damaging it is. i feel so upset seeing them have to deal with her but it’s like nothing my family or i do can properly counter it. *shes been hospitalized 3x before due to her behavior- she doesn’t get a proper diagnosis for retention. *child protective services has been called before and my sister proceeded to slip into the kind homemaker role throwing them off the trail. *we (the family) don’t want the kids to be taken and put into a facility bc no one is in a position to properly care for them. -too old/ too young/ or out of state for career. *what i’ve mentioned is nothing compared to her true behavior...she’s dangerous and i want to know how to counter her influence until i can make a solid plan or atleast spend more time with them. | any suggestions for childhood trauma countering? | hd9skj | the absolute best thing for most kids in this situation is to be supportive of their parents. for example, studies have found better outcomes when parents receive help than when kids are taken away . instead of framing your sister as manipulative , how about framing her as a person in an abusive relationship, with mental illness who needs support to parent ? | askatherapist | hd9skj |
my girlfriend of several years has depression. she's been on serotonin medication for as long as i've known her, and they've helped out. the issues she seems to be struggling with most recently (past year or so, since her mother died), is coming to grips with all of the abuse she endured as a child, and helping dispel or work around the irrational imprinting that still causes her duress to this day. we've spoken about getting professional help before, and she's always been receptive. i've left the process mostly in her hands, as i've tried to do with most things relating to her condition. the reason being that i didn't want to make it seem like i was forcing the decision on her, and that if she went, it would be because it was her choice. well, the other night she finally broke down and told me that she finds the whole process of finding help a million times more overwhelming than the process of accepting help. she asked me if i could find a professional and get her on whatever track she needs to be on. i can say now that, regardless of what your mental health is like, the searching process is overwhelming. it seems like all of the articles and helpful advice on line go over how to get to the point of accepting help, but they're mostly mute on how to find it. what are the steps, once you've decided to get help, to actually finding the help you need? **tl;dr, don't know how to go about finding mental health professionals, what kind of help each kind entails, and how to know if the person we're going to is going to provide the services we need.** | [austin, tx, usa] how to actually find a good professional? (x-post /r/depression_help) | 6ud3rm | it can be a bit overwhelming. does she have health insurance? best thing to do from the start is either go online to the website and search for providers in your area. i'd imagine there's a ton in austin. if you can't navigate the insurance website, there's usually a number on the back of the card you can call. it can be a little frustrating if you're starting at square one. i discussed it fairly in depth in my site's first blog post. give this a read and let me know if it's helpful or if you have any follow up questions. best of luck! WEBLINK [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | mentalhealth | 6ud3rm |
i went on one date with this girl and didn't want to continue anymore. i broke up with her saying i wasn't ready for dating, which is partially true (other part was i didn't feel like we had much in common besides the marching band we're both in), she has since gotten a new boyfriend and i don't think things are going to work out much longer as he goes off to college and she does not. i've since hung out with her a lot this summer with other friends and am starting to feel immense regret. is it reasonable for me to wait and eventually ask her out again? should i just fully let go? any advice is helpful, thank you. edit: if there's anything you need to ask me to hopefully give me better advice, don't hold back please. | asking out an ex | 6kfa3c | if you went out on one date, she's not your ex and you didn't break up with her. she's some girl you took out one time. feel free to ask again cause why not? | relationship_advice | 6kfa3c |
my parents are great, loving, not abusers, straightforward people who support me in every aspect of my life (that i've shared with them). i've never felt especially close with my parents, and the thought of being close with them (sharing intimate details, calling reguarly or turning to them for emotional advice) makes me repulsed. i mean, truly disgusted and repulsed. i have no idea why. i see other people my age (20's) who call their parents reguarly, ask their mum/dad for advice, visit them outside the holidays and hang out/drink/chill with their parents and i can't even fathom it. it makes me feel awful, like i'm so ungrateful that i can't even give my parents the relationship with me they obviously want after 20+ years of perfect stewardship. am i just ungrateful? i love my parents and care for them but that's it. am i evil, a psychopath, or something? | never been close with my parents | 3r2lqw | nah i feel the same way. i think it's the fear of rejection if they truly knew who or what i was | bpd | 3r2lqw |
male, 27, 6'0", 220lbs, caucasian, usa i never ever get flu shots. i've had the flu once in my life when i was 8(?) and my mother told me that that is the only year i got the shot (not sure of the accuracy of this). my father also says he's only gotten the flu shot twice and both times he got the flu. i didn't even get the flu in 2009 when it was swine flu and 90% of my freshman dorm was bedridden. it wasn't like i wasn't exposed to it there. i'm not an anti-vaxxer. my logic is: i never get the flu even without the shot, so why should i get a shot that i don't need? am i being an idiot? | am i an idiot for not getting my flu shots? | 9n1z7c | you're playing a numbers game. the flu shot is definitely not perfect and doesn't prevent all cases of influenza even during its best years, but it prevents some. most people don't get the flu most of the time, but you can get very sick from the flu. how inconvenient is the flu shot for you versus how bad would getting the flu be? given how miserable and dangerous the flu is and how benign the vaccine is, i get the vaccine. i don't think you're an idiot not to, but i do think you're on the wrong side of the statistics. | askdocs | 9n1z7c |
has anyone else in the us run into this problem? i've been waiting on my last adderall prescription for about 3 weeks now. every strength is on backorder. i've checked fda websites; it's marked as a shortage as of late january this year (2019). i've called every chain, every location nearby - walmart, walgreens, publix, cvs, etc. - but my sister tells me she's having the same issue in another state on the other side of the country. no company has given a reason for the shortage and resupply is projected to be around late june. i'm going to be calling my doctor on monday to see if we can re-prescribe something that's in stock. i feel like i'm over-reacting, but the anxiety from falling behind in my classes and frustration whenever i try to sit down and do it anyway are eating me up worse every day. i don't know what to do. i just want some sort of information, something to indicate there's an actual end in sight. edit:: i forgot to make clear, this is about adderall and its generics. maybe especially the generics. | adderall shortage??? | az7djp | yes at my regular pharmacy every location was out but i tried rite aid and they had it | adhd | az7djp |
has it been helpful in terms of communication? social lives? understanding of others/self? i'm a teacher candidate who works with children with asd/aspergers. currently working on a paper on this topic. i've also posted in /r/autism. thank you for your time. | hey /r/aspergers, what is your take on social media? | uhjfy | i hate it... a great way to make everything slightly more complicated. but, well, it is undeniably invaluable for keeping in touch with people i might completely lose touch with otherwise (and at a distance--aka the most comfortable way for me to do it). necessary evil? i use facebook, i just try not to let it have any real bearing on anything i do in life... | aspergers | uhjfy |
sometimes i'm a maestro in social situations. other times, i feel like i'm playing out of tune. just got back from a social trainwreck. my boss has taken me and my coworkers out to eat, and while they are laughing, i'm on the verge of tears. we can all feel the energy shift, and i'm definitely not on their level. this, in turn, has me going down, sulking further. negative and critical hyper-awareness overwhelms me. and i can almost hear them under their breath say, "what the hell is wrong with this guy?" i wish i knew. more so, i wish i could fix it. any advice? | how to stop being an energetic black hole? | vvjgc | you might want to see a counselor. it sounds like if you had the chance to talk out some of your feelings with someone, you might find yourself in a better place to handle them. and in turn, being in a better place to handle your feelings would help you in social situations. good luck! :) | socialskills | vvjgc |
there are a lot of research and buzz lately about metformin having anti-aging effects. i’m choosing to let go of all of the negativity with pcos and focus on a plus side, being able to get a metformin prescription. [source](WEBLINK) | plus side of pcos: metformin’s anti-aging effect | d41emh | i also recently watched a documentary about breast cancer where is claimed that people who take metformin are a decreased risk of many cancers, but they aren’t quite sure exactly what specifically in metformin does this. pretty cool! | pcos | d41emh |
for all intents and purposes, suppose the topic is violent in nature and spread in depth through the psyche. | i feel like i wouldn't harm a soul in actuality but my rhetoric would be deemed extremely concerning. how do i seek treatment without risking my rights/freedom/autonomy? | f4n3ja | confidentiality laws vary by state and license, but typically, a psychologist cannot report anything unless you express plan and intent to harm yourself or others . even then , not all states require that. my suggestion would be to look for a psychologist who has experience with violent offenders or sex offenders, and be upfront about your thoughts/feelings. a psychologist with this experience will have a stronger ability to differentiate intrusive thoughts from actual behavior. if this psychologist does have concern , they will have better access to the right referral tools. if you see someone who has less experience , they may be more likely to erroneously report. pay attention also to credentials. in many places , master's level therapists have stricter reporting requirements than doctoral level. ideas for searching in your area (even if these do not apply to your thoughts, the therapist will have appropriate training): domestic violence treatment, sex offender treatment , forensic psychologist. good luck ! i think it is fantastic that you want to get help. | askatherapist | f4n3ja |
i am 21, my brother is 23 and he has aspergers. we have never been that close as i will admit i do not "get" my brother. i have always wished we were closer and every time we have had what i would call a deep conversation and talk about our relationship i feel as if goes no where. one second we can really be connecting, then two seconds later i feel as if he has already forgotten our conversation and is on to something completely different. can anyone give me tips on how to connect with my brother? | my brother has aspergers | x8chm | i would accept and even cherish the quirks that you have interpreted negatively when you try to connect. you could even talk to him about them in genuinely curious way. discussing how the two of you are different directly could be a very effective way to get to know each other. | aspergers | x8chm |