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$100,000 liberal arts degree, works at Starbucks.
Claims to be an “old soul” yet has never gone more than an hour without WiFi. |
Guaranteed that envelope contained an art school rejection letter 🤔.
She couldn't draw the pirate. |
You look like the poster child for a PSA about college debt. It's all flannel shirts and art museums until... |
Whatever it is you sell on Etsy is trash |
You're trying too hard to be the "quirky, nerdy, artsy" high school girl. Just move on to being the lesbian cat lady you're destined to be. |
You look like you work as a barista in Portland, and go in the back and cry in the storage room when a customer is mean to you. |
If by snowflake you mean exceedingly, glaringly white, and look like you're held together in irregular sized clumps, sure. |
No one even zoomed in to see if your nipples were showing |
There are definitely a number of men who refer to you as “that crazy bitch I ghosted.” |
You look like your gay awakening was puff the magic dragon |
Square lookin head |
I’d bet a large Papa John’s pizza that you’ve got hairy armpits |
You look like the "you can come as well" friend when the friend group is making plans |
Snowflakes are beautiful, you’re not. |
Go easy shouldn't be a problem because no guy could go hard on you |
100% you write complaints on your restaurant receipt & sign it with a smiley face |
It looks like it’d be easier to convince you to commit graphic pornographic acts of depravity than it would be to convince you to shower. |
Your aesthetic is 12-year-old trying to buy beer with a fake ID. |
your imaginary boyfriend of 2 yrs just dumped you. he musta came to his senses |
Here i was thinking puberty didnt hit, looking like a hairless teenage boy. |
Probably has more bush than a forest. |
Ahh, a practice girl, every guy needs one. |
So how many cats do you have? |
Lesbian by default. At least you save money on razors |
Emilia Clark from wish |
Both your moms are the Indigo Girls |
Uses her hair brush on her pubic hair |
Snowflake? Explains why you've got no curves |
How many Tarot decks do you own? |
I really thought “lesbian who looks 12” was your whole personality, but I looked at your comments. You’re one of *those*. At least you’ve got options when it comes to faking a personality. |
I work at a summer camp and there was a 14 year old male camper that looked just like you...
huh |
Why is every non-binary doing this trend 🤷🏼♀️ |
Got that girl next door to Chernobyl look |
Her need for approval is so strong, she sends you a Yelp! review form after sex. |
When book smarts GREATLY surpasses any other smarts. |
I always feel uncomfortable roasting trans people :/ |
You look like you get offended on other people's behalf |
You look like you wore Chuck Taylor high tops with your prom dress to prove you’re “nOt liKe oThEr gIrLs.” |
The most annoying kind of person. Sheltered and zero life experience but thinks they are very ‘worldly and hip’ resulting in the most obnoxious type of person that everybody hates. |
I was going to tear you a new one but Gustav Klimt saved you. And tbh your current holes clearly are going unused, so tearing you a new one would be a waste. |
If awkward was a person. |
Aerosmith sang about you, “Dude Looks Like a Lady” 😂 |
You look like every guy’s best friend |
Huh, so your face does stay like that if the wind changes. |
Tom? Is that you? Damn, you look good for being a transgender. Gay Pride 🏳️🌈 |
The biggest achievement you'll ever have in life is being a lesbian in San Francisco in the middle of a rolling blackout |
“Bit of a snowflake?” Your complexion says one giant snowflake. I’m going to skip this one because I’m sure nobody on this earth could go “easy” enough. Probably gets offended by the phrase good morning. |
Your the girl in the friend group the guys are glad actually likes other girls and no, they don’t want to watch |
My pronouns are xe/xim and I am a demigirl who is omnisexual |
If 10 million women were rated on a scale of 1-10 for attractiveness and all the 5's were put in a room with you and then they were rated on a scale of 1-10 again, you would be a 5 amongst the 5's. |
You look like you still stomp your feet when you cry. |
The most adversity you've ever faced was when there was no vegan option on the menu. |
Your favorite drink is gender fluid. |
Claims lesbian cause guys aren’t interested.. gets drugged up at raves and has trains ran on her for the fix |
I can't explain it and I'm not gonna try, but you look like you'd be afraid of ladybugs |
Honey, I'm a bi deep within the LGBTQ+ noosphere, and I could tell that you're such a closet butch that even RuPaul would call you, "Sir," on reflex. |
Somehow, despite not even being born yet, you are every girl that attended Lilith Fair in 1997. |
Last pic u look like the lesbian Ace Ventura |
Though you have strong political opinions, they are uninformed incorrect and obnoxious. Your taste in Netflix shows is trash btw |
You’ll need a hazmat suit to withstand that backshot air |
Girl next door, as long as next door is library |
I'm a pothead but my eyes open wider than that |
Consider getting into motorcycles to complete the dykes on bikes for the Portland parade |
Your boyfriend convinced you to go tree planting and you went back alone for a second season. |
You look like you sigh and say ooohhh kaayy when asked to do something minor inconveniencing |
When Elliot Page re-transitions |
Your hair looks like my pubic hair if I haven't trimmed in a few months. Probably smells similar as well. |
What's up with your generation looking old enough to be a parent of a millennial |
Your pronouns are probably can't/even |
I don’t know why you feel so bad. I’d blow a load on you and leave. |
You seem like the type of girl who dyes her armpit hair instead of shaving it |
My gaydar says not gay but pretends to be one as a feeble attempt to gain a personality |
The roast me thread is so fascinating to me. Decided to read the comments before looking at the photos and it just proves that with concentrated effort, people really can and will find something about you to besmirch and base their own wild assumptions on.
My roast: OP looks like that one girl at the nearby private liberal arts college who has a podcast with a dedicated 25 monthly listeners. |
Staring off into space as she celebrates her birthday alone. |
You look like your favorite dinosaur is the lickalotopus 🦕 |
You look so boring that museum handed you an application to be a permanent exhibit. |
Some people are raised with silver spoons.
You look like you had silver teaspoons, Tablespoons, and *salad forks*. |
I bet you use a deodorant crystal. |
it’s giving never moved on from alt tiktok era |
Yeah you definitely look like someone who uses Greenwich Mean Time just to be difficult. |
You have subpar penmanship. |
You look like you think salt is spicy |
You look like even your tampons are organic and gluten-free |
You look like the kind of girl I’d message on Reddit then decide it’s just not worth it… |
Why 6 spoons for a birthday dinner by yourself? Nice your imaginary friends splurged on a free bowl of ice cream. You're allergic to gluten, and cake makes you sick to your stomach. When people meet you, they get the same feeling, except when they throw up on their pants, they don't sit next to trees and take selfies. |
You think because you drive a Subaru with all wheel drive and wear carhartt it makes you country. It does not.
In fact it makes you a lesbian |
Why do you hold the phone like a lizard person |
Okay, okay, you don’t have to go *this* easy… it’s almost getting boring 🙄 |
You’re so mediocre that both your step dad and step bro would leave you stuck in the clothes dryer |
I didn’t look through them photos, eye browsed. |
Definitely messy room with tons of stuffed animals and worthless pillows on the bed. |
If those eyebrows was food, we'd end starvation. |
I found Pauly Shore's Reddit account |
Words can not describe your beauty..but numbers can..
2/10 |
She’s one vagina away from Panera assistant manager |
I smell Daddy's money. A lot of it. |
He makes a lovely girl |
Are you self conscious about your nose? You should be. |
LolOllOololOoLolllOLol…..WOW |
you look like you have the personality of warm milk |
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Reddit's r/roastme roast compilation
Comments were scraped from the top 1000 posts of all time as of 12/19/24
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN OFFENSIVE AND INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE
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