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## CHAPTER 4 : BOOK REVIEW: Predictably Irrational In an experiment, there are two groups. One gets paid and one gets asked, they are doing the same job of cleaning and sharpening a dull piece of blade. And guess what happened next? Normally the group that gets paid will get to do a better job because they got paid. However, the result is opposite of what we usually expect, the group got asked to help do a better job. Even the experiment was repeated a few times with different people to make sure that the group that got asked didn't have any master of cleaning or sharpening blade but the result is still the same. So how did this happen? All was explained in detail as predictably irrational. What people usually think is that when people get paid they will try to do their best, and when people get asked they just do it because they can. However, this usually went the whole way around. This is explained because when people get paid they will see it as something they now have to do and they cannot run from it. So our brain automatically doesn't like this and makes us do it just to finish it. And the people who get asked to do something, if they accept it then their brain already thinks they need to do their best and they will enjoy it rather than taking it easy. Even this only happens when you do something that is normal, not what you will usually enjoy like asking to play a game. But this can also improve a lot of things in your life. One thing that people never want to get money for is when their acquaintances try to be nice with them. For example, your son who has been studying abroad for several years and today they will meet each other again. The son will usually try to express the love he gives to his family in many ways. One of them can be he will take the family to a fancy dinner. When other people hear this they will think this is a good boy who loves his family a lot which he actually is. However, this will make his family not get too good of an impression because what they actually get is money from the dinner because the son is paying for them. Even this dinner can be very cozy and full of happiness. Just a simple card with enthusiasm and giving it to his family will be a lot better. Because this is nothing related to money and it is more of his effort and they will respect more of it. In conclusion, this was an amazing chapter telling us more knowledge about the cost of money. Even money is the best currency to give and receive but sometimes it can ruin a mood of happiness. So read this book and find more about the knowledge of irrational.

When a book review is written, it is done so from a third person point of view. It also avoids soundling like it was written by a grade school student talking about what he did last summer. This review totally misses on the academic representation and tone of the chapter. It sounds like it was written by a 3rd grader rather than a college student. Since this is a chapter review of a book that is being continously read, the first thing the writer has to do is connect the previous chapters to this one, indicating why it is a logical next step in the line of study. Reporting in the importance of this chapter in relation to learning will help. The experimentation must definitely be reviewed, from a professional stand point (rather than a gradeschooler point of view) to help add to the importance of the chapter. A scientific approach to the chapter is required to create a more convincing chapter review for the professor to grade.

**This is my IELTS writing asignment for today. Please check and leave comments. Thank you so much.** **Rubric: *Most medical doctors want to work in cities where they will make a lot of money. Yet in many rural areas there are not enough doctors.*** ## What are the reasons for this problem? How can it be solved? **My essay:** Nowadays, it can be seen clearly that a large number of medical doctors prefer to work in urban areas to earn money. Meanwhile, in many remote areas, there is a deficiency in the number of doctors. This issue happen due to many elements, and there are several measure could be taken to deal with it. The proliferation of doctors' preference to work in cites is caused due to some reasons. To begin with, it is true that being a doctor in urban area gives doctors more advantages. There are more people in cities who worry about their health, which means there are more chances for doctors to earn money. For example, my sister works in a hospital in my city center, which is always crowded with patients. Second, it is more easy for doctors to attain their prestige in modern city than in rural area. The more prestigious the doctor is, the more money he or she gets. This problems can be tackled by several measures. First, governments should arrange where doctors work. This can be done by providing optional financial aid to medical students, on condition that they will work in certain places arranged by governments. Another measure is giving doctors in rural areas more support. This can be done by raising their salary, as well as providing them and their family some special services, such as pension for their parents and lower tuition fee for their children. In conclusion, the vast majority of doctors now want to work in cities due to several reasons, and measures need to be taken to cope with this problem.

Good work on the prompt restatement aspect. However, your opinion response is failing. Due to the direct question requirements of the original prompt, your response cannot be a mere restatement of the questions provided. Rather, you are expected to respond using simple response questions that clearly show your logical thinking abilities and simple reasoning skills. Each question presented therefore, needs to have a clear response sentence based on what you wish to discuss as the topic of each reasoning paragraph. One topic in response to each question, expanded in the body of paragraphs within one paragraph each as well. [~~quote=penguinwannafly]The proliferation of doctors' preference to work in cites is caused due to some reasons.[/quote]~~ This problems can be tackled by several measures. Use a topic sentence to anchor this opening statement. Clearly indicate your response to the question. Do not leave that for the second sentence. The examiner expects you to not have any use for word count fillers such as nonsensical sentences that do not move your response forward. Stop repeating the prompt instructions. These do not help increase your score, but could very well lower your score due to certain scoring elements that fail because of the non-answer sentences. The reasoning paragraphs tend to be less developed because you present secondary reasons that do not directly relate to the first reason. These secondary reasons are mentioned, but not explained nor developed further in connection to the previous presentation.Hence creating under developed paragraph presentations. Overall, you know what you have to present to score better. You just seem afraid to fully discuss your thoughts so you rely on empty sentences and under explained topics for your presentation., Avoid those presentation shortcomings and your score should improve.

## Writing about Bioplastics The first known plastic is known as bakelite. It was first developed by Baekeland in 1907. Plastics are known to be lightweight, durable, and can be molded into any shape. According to Geyer, Jambeck, et al. (2017), plastics have been produced about 8.3 billion metric tons since its invention. Bioplastic materials are estimated to supply and gradually replace some fossil oil-based materials in the upcoming decades (Harnkarnsujarit, 2021). Through this, the food packaging has been increasingly significant in the food industry as innovations in functionality are aiming for convenience. Many efforts have been made in order to create starch-based polymers to save petrochemical resources and reduce environmental effect. The introduction of biodegradable polymers are possible canditate for food packaging as polymers that can decompose into CO2, CH4, H2O, inorganic chemicals, or biomass, primarily by the enzymatic action of microorganisms (Folino, et al. 2020). As studied by Arkan and Bilgen (2019), they discovered that the use of bioplastic made from potato peel bioplastic proved to be effective. Potato peel bioplastic has a greater capability for water absorption than commercial bioplastics resulting to be potentially used as a packing material.

When you review related literature, you do not cite these informations ources as if you were writing the introduction or a paragraph in your regular essay. Rather, you present your understanding of the written work of the author, individually. You explain the content of the book by using a proper literature review format, the style of which you can find from many online sources. The only requirement from you, as the writer, is to properly summaruze the content of the literature, without discussing how it relates to your discussion. However, you must mention the relevance of the literature to the topic of plastics and what makes the author of the piece a notable figure or authority on the subject of plastics. Right now, this sounds more like you only summarized citations from within the work of the various authors, rather than reviewing the literature based on an actual reading and understanding of each person's work. For a literature review, think about what makes the work good or bad, then review it on that basis. What do you agree with? Why? Why not? What debate does it respond to? Does it do so effectively? How? These are but some of the revirew questions you can consider as you develop your literature review per author.

## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 about television Some people think that the purpose of TV news programs is to entertain viewers. Others believe that news programs should be educational and informative. What do you think the purpose of TV news programs is? Discuss both views and support your opinion with reasons and examples. The argument around the notion of the way television programs appear to the audiences with educational program and real information, which should be a priority over recreational purpose, is a debatable issue. Personally, though many entertaining programs have its own benefit to some extent, the meaning of educating people, with factual news, which bring viewers much more valuable data, should be made as an ultimate purpose for televisions in informative transmission. In this essay, I am going to give reasons and related examples upon this opinion. People who support the idea of TV producers should broadcast more programs for entertaining and even make it pervasive among audiences, may point out that many programs like game shows, comedies,... is fascinating and completely fulfill their sense of relaxation. The reason is the recreational factors of one program can have positive contributions to them in some cases, easing tensions for those who are under stress. Comedies, for instance, might bring temporary happiness by its funny plot, making people feel free to have optimistic emotions. Nevertheless, the aim of educating people, especially teenagers, and the need to receive accurate information have turned the purpose of TVs to the significant one, which fully outweighs the objective of entertainment. It is said that because these funny programs, in fact, show a sole advantage of entertainment and seems to be no contributions to personal development, while educational programs can fulfill it. Scientific programs is the best example, which appreciably convey specific insights for students and help them in cultivation of knowledge. Furthermore, the demand for approaching precise news through an explicit illustration have increased remarkably in this turbulent period. As a consequence, the exposure to up-to-date information helps people to perceive the ongoing events in the globe, making them realise the influences of those news, in which can raise awareness among the society in all aspects of life. In conclusion, although the contributions of recreational programs cannot be denied, TVs producers should focus more on educating people and broadcasting accurately informative news, which will create more benefits in the long run.

Based on the confusing discussion approach to the topic provided, I believe that you created your own discussion series / questions based on the given topic. There is no way that a Task 2 essay prompt will be this confusing. As per our task 2 prompt records, the correct prompt for this essay is: *Some people say that television is useful in education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?* A task 2 essay prompt is simple, direct, and contains only one discussion format. You have 2 different discussion formats presented that will go beyond the 5 paragraph discussion format for this task. Prompt 1: What do you think the purpose of TV news programs is? This is a complete discussion question itself covering 2 reasoning paragraphs. No additional instructions are provided to this type of prompt. Prompt 2: Discuss both views and support your opinion with reasons and examples. This is a seperate prompt that is discussed over 5 paragraphs (3 reasoning paragraphs). Due to the incorrect and confusing prompt and discussion approach, I cannot properly review this essay. It is unscorable as well. An estimate as to whether you will pass or fail cannot be provided due to the confusing discussion instructions. Come back with a correct Task 2 essay question and discussion, then I will review and assess your possibility of passing the test.

Hello everyone! I would be really thankful if you guys could have some feedback and/or an average grade loosely based on IELTS criteria on my response to the following IELTS Task 2: ***Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.*** *My response:* In today's world of readily available technological gadgets, children's ownership of smartphones is skyrocketing and, inevitably, leading to their widespread usage on campus. This has raised the alarm for many concerning parents as well as teachers and, thus, fortifying the growing concensus on banning children phones during school time. Despite cellphones's apparent usefulness, I still side with the opinion that it is necessary to implement a soft, appropriate ban on children usage of cellphones in classes. On the one hand, we do need to acknowledge the undeniable benefits of smart devices in children's lives. At school, if used properly and wisely, smartphones and tablets can be an innovative, useful assistant for children. For example, a usually boring history class might be much more entertaining and captivating if children, in accordance with their teachers' lesson plan, can use their personal phones to play interactive quizz games about history on cloud platforms. Furthermore, cellphones, even obsolete ones, might become essential in connecting children to their parents in emergency situations. This is becoming increasingly true in light of more frequent school shootings, especially in the US. On the other hand, the unregulated rapid development of addictive social media and fake news is an alarming reason to ban smartphones during school day. Children, a vulnerable and immature part of our society, might be exposed to harmful social network addiction and fake news if left unsupervised. Moreover, in a school setting, uncontrolled usage of cellphones will distract students from their classes and negetively affect their education. Last but not least, when educational institutions flexibly and appropriately implement a soft ban on cellphones, this will not prohibit children from using their mobile devices in case of emergency. Therefore, such versatile approach will not only negate smartphones' drawbacks but also garner their benefits. In conclusion, while smartphones are undoubtedly of such vital importance in children's modern lives, I still believe that it is necessary for schools to flexibly and properly limit their usage during school time, as such soft ban will reduce electronic gadgets worst's effects on children while still promoting their good uses. *Thank you!*

What did you do in the prompt restatement? You changed the discussion foundation so much, the topic you present no longer represents the original framework. It does not even come close. It changes the sources of information, and the basis of discussion. There is nothing accurate about your promopt restatement nor your opinion. This incorrect task representation alone is enough to garner a failing score for the full essay. Why is that? You will be unable to prove that you understood the topic as per the original, and your discussion is also based on an incorrect reference because of it. The discussion is totally from a first person point of view where you were asked to compare and contrast the two public opinions, and then present your own opinion regarding the topic. You have not managed to meet the prompt requirements in relation to scoring requirements at this point. The essay is a complete failure when the discussion topic and duscussion format are seriously considered.

## English as a global language In today's world, it is an undeniable fact that English is now spreading as an international language. Some people believe that the benefits outweigh its drawbacks while others dispute that it still has significant disadvantages. I completely agree with the former statement and here are some reasons why. Firstly, English is a common language to facilitate communication. As United States is currently one of the most developed country in the world, it is indisputable to say that English is the main language everyone would choose to speak when they do business with foreign partners without any assistance of interpreters. Especially when traveling, English is the useful language for everyone who love to explore different exotic cultures. Nowadays, most schools are added English as an academic subject that students have to learn. So the advantage is that English can facilitate the transfer of knowledge. Documents and learning materials written in English are widespread access. Moreover, English can help with knowledge transfer technological advances from affluent nations to developing countries. However, some people say that the dominance of English as a global language has its negative effect. English would demise ethnic minority languages which lead to the loss of cultural diversity. In my opinion, the spread of English as a universal language does not necessarily entail the disappearance of other minority languages since people tend to use English in formal contexts which in academic environment and their mother tongue in formal contexts like at home or communicate with friends. In conclusion, the development of English is a positive global trend. I strongly believe that English will support the communication system of every nation and makes the demerits less significant.

Some people believe that the benefits outweigh its drawbacks while others dispute that it still has significant disadvantages. There is no reference to dual opinions regarding the topic in the original prompt. The fact that you misrepresented the original prompt by creating 2 public opinions, rather than just restating the single original topic will lead to a failed prompt restatement score. It will be a failure because you changed the original discussion topic basis. This failure will have a direct effect on the overall score of the essay, regardless of the appropriateness of your opinion statement. However, some people say that the dominance of English as a global language has its negative effect. This is a paragraph that will not be scored because it does not support the writer's opinion. Additional deductions will be applied since you are discussing a topic that does not factor into the original discussion presentation. I am afraid that this essay presentation may find it difficult to get even a barely passing score because of the prompt deviations you have created.

## the popularity of Computer Science in the uk **The bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012.** The chart provides information about the total of British home and overseas scholars learning Computer Science at a United Kingdom university from 2010 to 2012. Students are the measuring units. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that both kinds of students in male and female experienced an upward trend, while home scholars were larger than the other throughout the period. Regarding Men, its number of home students was about 39 in 2010. However, after a year, it sharply declined to below 25 before dramatically rising back to over 40 in 2012. In contrast, although the international category initially began with a lower rate ( 20 in 2010 ), it almost equaled home students at the end of the period. Concerning Women, the home students initiated with approximately 32 in 2010. Then, it tremendously increased non-stop and peaked at 45 in 2012. There was also a significant growth in international students, from 2010 with 14 to 2012 with 20. (162 words) I will be appreciated if you guys can give me a score ( scale of 9 in Ielts ) *

Please contact me privately for your scoring requirements. We do not offer public scoring of an essay as it is not part of our free review service. The chart As you know, the original instruction already identified the image as a bar chart and yet, you failed to properly identify the type of image presented. This is a bar chart, not a general chart. A general chart does not contain a specific image identifier as required by the task scoring system. The image information summary is a run-on sentence. You need to split that up into at least 3 sentences to avoid GRA score deductions based on run-on sentence presentations. By the way, you forgot to indicate the gender basis for the measurements in the overview. That is important since there are several gender references now available to the public. Therefore, specific gender identification is necessary in the task 1 essay, wherever it is mentioned specifically. Students are the measuring units. Students are the measurement subjects. The measurement (measuring) units refers to percentage, ratio, numerical count (in the hundreds, thousands, millions, megawatts, etc.) There is no measurement unit refererrd to here so it is safe to assume that the students were measured in the thousands. However, were a measurement unit is not specified, it would be best if you do not mention any either.

## Overview While present research appeared void about planet Earth itself melting. The visible attestation of polar ice melting is greatly reported by researchers and scientists. The probable blame goes to climate change. According to National Geographic, climatic change generates long-term periods in global or regional climate patterns. The release of greenhouse gases is what caused rapid climate change per Foote's (1856) experiment. According to NASA, greenhouse gases absorb and trap energy, transmitting it into our atmosphere. In one statistic provided by Our World in Data (OWID), the world still emits 36.44 billion tons of annual CO2. The associated impacts are immensely evident. In one report of the World Meteorological Organization (WMO), extreme heatwaves and wild fires manifests during the 2015-2019 period. The augmentation affects all continents, leading unnatural threshold of new national temperature records. This equals how ice sheets in Antarctica are losing, resulting to liquefy. Whilst climate change continues to instigate ice glaciers melting faster, this permits to influence the behavioral crust of the Earth. In Coulson's (2021) research, they communicated the effects of why ice glaciers continue to melt and began to study the plate tectonics' movement in Antarctica. "In some parts of Antarctica, for example, the rebounding of the crust is changing the slope of the bedrock under the ice sheet, and that can affect the ice dynamics," said Coulson, who collaborated in the lab of Jerry Mitrovica, the Frank B. Baird, Jr. Professor of Science. While we cannot deny how the Earth's climate change is a global issue, some solutions are up to debate. But the cause of climate change is pointed towards humans. The figures below illustrate relative metrics that are supplementary reviewed.

While present research appeared void about planet Earth itself melting. The visible There is something missing in the reference point of the first paragraph. It does not make any sense. Maybe you accidentally started a new sentence when it was supposed to be a continous thought presentation at that point? Whatever it is, you have to fix that problem to create some sense of logic and reasoning in that part of the presentation. You are writing a an overview, also known as a summary, or, in higher academic circles, an abstract. This is a short form of the actual presentation. No citations, no quotes, no sourced information should be presented in the overview/summary/abstract. Rather than overview, this may be considered a cut and paste of a whole section of the research paper instead. You need to develop an accurate summary of your overall paper instead. Focus on: - The topic - The reason - Research results based on how the research of survey was performed - Potential solution or conclusion These are the parts that create an accurate overview/summary.

**Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.** The awareness towards holding global sports events of people has been rising nowadays. It is certain that being a host of a worldwide sports event is beneficial to the countries. In my opinion, the advantages of hosting such events will outweigh the drawbacks. First, hosting international sports functions help to promote the host countries. With the spread of social media such as Instagram and Facebook, more people around the world will start to discover the countries. A positive image may be built by google the fun facts or history of the destinations. For example, there are numerous posts discussing the cuisines and attractions in Tokyo during the Olympics. Second, organizing the global sports functions can increase the economic activities of those countries. Usually, people tend to watch the games offline and they will book the flight tickets to come and visit. For instance, many tourists came to China during the Beijing Olympics because they wanted to support their favorite athletes. Therefore, they booked accommodations and restaurants for their vacation. More profits can be generated from these activities. Although some people believed that hosting international events will damage the living quality of the locals, it is a treasurable opportunity for the locals and foreigners to have a cultural exchange. They may have the chance to get to know different cultures and languages and may make new friends through chatting with people who have various cultural backgrounds. To sum up, organizing worldwide sports events will bring a huge number of benefits to the host countries in the long term even if there are disadvantages in short term.

The prompt restatement+opinion is totally incorrect. You failed to restate both public opinions in individual sentences, then offer your opinion based on the given points of view. The alteration of the discussion from a compare + contrast + supporting personal opinion to an advantage v. disadvantage essay will result in a failing TA score because you are not discussing the essay as per the prompt expectations. This early error could very well be the reason that your essay gets a failing score in the end. Having reviewed the rest of your writing at this point, it is safe for me to say that the essay will not get a passing score as the task discussion requirement has not been met by your presentation. The way that you changed the discussion instruction shows that you failed to properly understand the discussion instructions. You must stop writing essay exercises at this point. Focus on familiarizing yourself with the discussion formats of the Task 2 essay for at least a week. Once you understand what the different instruction prompts are and how to properly approach it in your writing, you should be able to write prompt responsive essays already. You need to write prompt responsive essays if you hope to pass this test.

## open-plan offices evaluation Do open-plan offices bring more benefits than harm, or the other way around? Nowadays, many companies have their employees to work in an open-plan office without any wall or barrier between the seats. Although there are obvious drawbacks, I believe that advantages of open-plan offices outweigh its disadvantages. Firstly, I believe that open-plan offices can help to improve working efficiency and environment. Especially for companies where its employees are usually involved in group projects, the absence of wall or barrier can make group discussion much easier and increases working efficiency. Open-plan offices also promote socialising between colleagues, unlike the traditional-styled offices where employees often only focus on their own work without communication with others which may lead to increase in stress levels. A recent study done by University of Japan have shown that employees working in open-plan offices work 70% faster than workers who work in the traditional-styled offices. However, there are some disadvantages that come with open-plan offices too. One of the main drawbacks is that it acts as a form of distraction. The absence of wall or barrier means that random noises or conversation between colleagues will be transmitted directly to the ears without any obstacles to lower the volume. For individuals who have a hard time concentrating in a noisy environment, open-plan offices will worsen the situation. All in all, I believe that open-plan offices bring more advantages than disadvantages to the table. The issue of distraction can be solved easily by wearing earphones, whereas the benefit of improvement in working efficiency cannot be neglected.

Do open-plan offices bring more benefits than harm, or the other way around? You cannot use a rhetorical question to represent the restatement of the original prompt. Use a direct statement format because you are expected to inform the reader, not ask a question. The second sentence sounds too much like the original presentation for it to be scored. It might just be considered a cut and paste of the original statement. The first paragraph seems to suffer from a problem in presentation originality. However, there are some disadvantages Scores are not provided for paragraphs that do not support the original opinion of the author. Single opinion essays, those that do not require a discussion of both opinions or, a comparison of 2 opinions, should never stray from the single opinion defense. Defending both sides will fail your TA score since you no longer have a clear opinion and, your essay will also meet word deductions for not meeting the minimum word count anymore. No score will be awarded for opposing reason defense discussion paragraphs. You cannot contradict yourself in your own opinion presentation.That is like saying, "I am right, but I am also wrong." Does that kind of discussion defense make sense to you? Exactly. it is a foolish way of proving your point. It is incorrect.

***Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Others think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are important than History.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion. In an accelerating pace of modernization nowadays, it is universally acknowledged that a constantly changing and competitive society is looking at the all-around education of candidates and not merely their academic credentials. However, there is a perception that History fulfills the most vital function of the syllabus, while others contend that this role should be attached to Science and Technology. From my perspective, both History, Science, and Technology are inextricably linked with each other due to several plausible reasons. There is no doubt that History has been offering tremendous assistance to learners regarding not only theoretical but also practical horizons. By getting exposed to the vary of wars and occurrences, undergraduates are directly engaged in the past that broadens their optimistic outlooks on today's life and arouses students' moral behaviors because of the pride and gratitude towards forefathers. For example, it is able for students to be conscious of present tranquility results from the suffering of ancestors, hence taking more responsibility for the motherland's development by achieving outstanding academic records. Nonetheless, as for the skeptics to this opinion, subjects like Science and Technology are more superior than History in being as the most essential factors in terms of rendering assistance to students' contemporary skills. It is gaining access to advanced facilities by attending these classes that provide students with many hard skills for the newly-created job opportunities. Taking computer, analytical, and presentation skills for instance, which recruiters expect in their employees, candidates are capable to develop these abilities unconsciously over the course. However, I am utterly convinced that both History, Science and Technology are not mutually excluded. While History focuses on instilling the solid academic foundation for further self-perfection into the psyche of candidates, technology-related subjects such as Science and Technology precisely show learners the way in controlling cutting-edge equipment, thus contributing to their future occupational competency. To recapitulate briefly, as for the aforementioned personal viewpoints, both History and subjects like Science and Technology play equally crucial roles in well-rounded education's contribution. It is high time for schools to aim at ensuring students' intellectual and social development which exerts influence on individuals' future career success.

A task 2 essay should be completed with no more than 300 words, within 30 minutes. The remaining 10 minutes should be used to perfect the presentation and correct the errors. The writer should not add any unrelated statements in the first paragraph. Stick to a simple restatement + opinion because that is what you are scored on. Whatever you think, or whatever it is you want to say about the topic, should wait and be presented in the reasoning paragraphs. There is no doubt Do not use misleading terms. There is a doubt about this opinion, that is why you are writing this written debate paper. By the way, since you failed to use pronouns in this paragraph, the examiner will not be able to identify if this is a personal or public opinion. You need to use third party pronouns in this case to indicate the difference from your personal opinion. You can imply it in the same manner that "skeptics" indicated the other group's opinion in the next paragraph. That was an effective method of differentiating opinions. Your personal opinion paragraph should be properly developed. Do not use run-on sentences and rush through your idea. You need to make that part of the essay the clearest portion, so use individual explanation sentences. Make sure your idea is clearly explained and well supported by examples and additional discussion points.

## coffee and tea drinking in australia [Answer] The chart shows the percentage of citizens who purchased fresh coffee, instant coffee, and went to a coffee shop as a habit in five different Australian cities, namely Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart in last four weeks. General, it is seen that people were more willing to go to a cafe ore than buy both fresh and instant coffee. It is immediately clear that the number of citizens in two cities, which are Adelaide and Brisbane, did not seem to enjoy fresh coffee as much as citizens in other cities, as these accounted for a third for each city. However, there was a difference between Adelaide and Brisbane in the percentages of city residents who bought instant coffee and drank coffee at a cafe. Almost more than half of residents enjoying instant coffee as well as going to a coffee shop in Brisbane, while these applied to only a half in Adelaide. In Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart, people mostly enjoyed coffee and tea at a cafe, which was true of about over three-fifths of residents. In one of three cities, which was Hobart, the percentage of people enjoying instant coffee was greater than that of two remaining cities. Almost fifty-five percent of citizens, compared to under fifty percent for residents in the others. However, there was just under two-fifths of the figure for Hobart's citizen drinking fresh coffee, while this applied to nearly forty-five percent of people in Sydney and Melbourne. *

The chart The column chart. Help the reader get an idea as to how the measurements are presented in the image. Do not just indicate "the chart" because that does not inform the reader about measurement and image specifics, which is a required part of the task summary presentation. The summary overview and trending statement will prove to be score reducing for the GRA score as these sentences both indicate the use of run-on sentences. These are sentences that contain more than one thought process or idea that results in a confusing discussion focus. As a rule, use up to 5 sentences per paragraph, each with an individual sentence idea. The cohesiveness and discussion clarity will come from the way your thoughts and sentences are structured in each paragraph, not in the length of each sentence. did not seem to enjoy fresh coffee as much as citizens in other cities, Do not provide a personal opinion of the information. Simply report the information directly, without any personal insight as this is a reporting essay, not an opinion essay. Analyze and compare the data only.

## The Effect of the Internet Topic : Some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions? The internet has brought about drastical changes in our lives in recent years. It is certain that those changes are highly controversial about whether they made our life better or they only worsen our society. From my point of view, i firmly believe that the merits of Internet far outweight its drawbacks. The very first notable advantage is that our communication method was revolutionized. Then, the only option we had was letter ,which was highly inconvenient as it could take a while to being transfer. As for now, with a smart phone we can send tons of messages in matter of second, and not just words, profiles, pictures can easily be sent regardless of places or times. Along with that, the Informations are now extremly accesible. The internet contain nearly all the news, knowleadges and informations on our world. With just few buttons you will get not only the exactly information but also further details about it like pictures,etc. Unlike in the past, we could obtain news through newspaper and advance knowleadge for a research might take weeks in a liabry. Admittedly, not all the informations on the Internet are valid and trustworthy. As we could potentially expose to offensive or misleading source for instance: fake news, violent videos,etc. While the Internet also cause many social problems like Internet addicted, online harrasment,etc. Nonetheless, if we're carefull enough, we will benifit greatly from the Internet. By way of conclusion, i restate that the influence of the Internet on our life is positive because not only does it connect us to the rest of the world but also save us a vast amount of time.

Okay, you have presented the discussion based on general observations of the given topic. Acceptable, but could have been better. Remember how the statement asks what your personal opinion is? The discussion was basically asking you to present the discussion based on your personal experience while using the internet. What did you see as benefits to you personally? What negative attributes affected you? How did these 2 experiences combine to create your final opinion about the internet? While a general discussion based on public knowledge is good, the personal point of view and experiences would have earned you more considerations score-wise since the reasons provided came from the anticipated personal experience and point of view as opposed to generally known facts. Do not get me wrong, the essay delivers, but it could have delievered more your final score if it had been approached differently.

## Inflow of foreign workers in Australia The bar chart illustrates the changes in the number of people immigrating into Australia for permanent settlement and temporary work in a span of ten years. Overall, during the first half of the given period, the number of permanent settlers was higher than temporary workers, whilst an opposite trend was observed over the last period. Looking at the chart more closely, in 1992, around 40000 people came to Australia becoming permanent settlers, more doubled those for temporarily working. The figure declined dramatically, hit a low of 13000 people in 1994 and remained stable until 1996. By contrast, the number of people immigrating for working temporarily was less than permanent workers, with the figure standing at just around 15000 people in 1993, remaining stable from 1992 to 1996. In the period between 1997 to 2001, transient employees rise gradually in number, reaching a peak of over 45000 people in 2001, despite a slight fluctuation in 1999. As can be seen the same mainstream in permanent settlers but still less than 1992. *

in a span of ten years. While this reference does indicate the number of years covered by the measurement, it does not accurately portray the period of measurement, which is a must in terms of information delivery within the summary. Therefore, you should have indicated the starting year (1992) and the end year (2001) as the reference points for the decade coverage. in 1992 Be more specific about this year. What is this in reference to? The start of the measurement? The middle? Remember, you have to assume that the reader will not be seeing the image so every bit of information you present must have accurate reference points or target. You could have indicated that "When the measurements started in 1992..." for a clear reference starting point in the analytical paragraph. around 40000 people came to Australia becoming permanent settlers, more doubled those for temporarily working. There is a lack of subject clarity in the second part. What more than doubled? What was the actual number? Numerical references in the thousands were used throughout the chart, kindly make sure to always refer to actual data to give clarity to your statements. employees rise gradually Use the reference "rose" since that action was considered to be in continous movement within the graph at that point. As can be seen the same mainstream in permanent settlers but still less than 1992. Not sure what you are trying to refer to here. You have a problem with thought clarity and information presentation. You appear to not be able to think and write in a manner that clearly explains what you mean in English. This will be a major scoring down for you in an actual test. Focus on developing your English writing skills in terms of restatement skills.

***People say that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? In this day and age, more and more students choose to study abroad to have a better education and environment. Besides that, there are many contradictory ideas surrounding this topic, whether it is good for the home country or not. From my perspective, I believe that it would partly leave the motherland some certain detrimental disadvantages. Nowadays, students have an inclination to choose to study overseas, mainly because they do not totally believe in the national education to foster them in career and logical thinking. Some developing countries do not have enough facilities as well as the professional knowledge to provide for their citizens with a good salary and wonderful environment, so when they have the opportunities to access education in developed countries, they opt to emigrate there to have a better future. I totally agree with this argument, as there are obvious cases that I have actually seen, as the citizens of a country decided to permanently live in a new nation after studying abroad. For example, the Vietnamese champions in a knowledge-about show - Olympiad, when they had been provided a scholarship to study in Australia, almost chose not to come back to Vietnam, earning a living, but continue staying in their host country. This phenomenon makes the whole country lose its own genius, leading to the regretful statement, which is brain drain. On the other hand, not all the knowledgable study-abroad students are the same, some of them determine that they want to study abroad, broadening their horizon of knowledge, then coming back to their country to promote its evolution. I am also in support of this, but there are not too many cases to make me believe that the country would be benefited, compared to the disadvantages it has had. Taking Ms. Luong Phuong Thao for example, one of three Olympiad champions chose to come back to Vietnam to work among 19 ones. Those studying abroad are who absorb the innovations of the international and professional environment, knowing how to improve the weaknesses of a country that a normal person could not see, actually helping the country to level up their accreditation, but a bad status quo that only a few of them return to their mother countries. In conclusion, I think that the study-abroad student would bring some risks to the country, such as brain drain, but we could deny that there are some of those overseas graduates who can serve as catalysts for the economic advancement of a nation

When I give a student advice in an essay to help improve his writing abilities and scoring potential in the IELTS essay, I expect to see the advice provided in the next essay. That means, the student must learn from his previous errors through my corrections. This is shown to me by the student through the application of the specified correction notes. I do not give advice simply for posting in threads. I expect the student to pay attention and apply the corrections accordingly. This presentation still contains the same vital errors that I already requested you to correct in your previous essay. Therefore, due to the same nature of errors, I will not be giving you corrective advice on this essay. I do not repeat advice that I have previously given. Additionally, since you have proven that you choose not to listen to my advice and notes, you will no longer receive corrections from me at this forum.

**Topic: *People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country.* ## To what extent do you agree or disagree?** The idea of whether or not to accept the social convention of a host country remains a source of controversy. From my perspective, I am an attribute to this point of view. The case for adapting to the social behaviour in a new nation can be made by pointing to the fact that it can facilitate the business of a foreigner. The explanation for this is that local people have an inclination to know whether or not foreigners respect their country or not. When expatriates follow the traditions, it will create a harmony between the newcomers and people who currently live there. As a result, it is easier to do business with them as they already have a good impression on their partners. Another key component of the case for following the norms of the host country is that it is easier to make more friends. It is beyond a doubt that newcomers would gain more respect from local people if they show respect to the customs of a country. This behaviour will render them more likeable and more sociable in native people's view. For this reason, the chance to make more friends might ascend higher. A final consideration in refuting the acceptance of the local customs and traditions is the fact that it might be a nuisance sometimes. It is vital to understand that norms in this country might be considered offensive in another country. Japan is a valuable example in this regard, as there is a steretype about people who eat outdoor. They will be considered rude or impolite, which is annoying for those who are Westerners. Thus it can be seen that following the social norms when living in a host country can helps foreigners to open their circles of friends as well as working more easily. Therefore, I agree with the stand of the writer on this opinion.

You have the wrong idea about the discussion focus of this essay. It is not discussing "tourism" or "work residence" in relation to customs and traditions of a stranger in a new country. Rather, this speaks of immigration status people who will be permanently exposed to their new country's customs and traditions. Your restatement is inaccurate in specific aspects. As for your opinion, you did not express it within the required parameters. There is no "degree" of support or non-support for the given discussion. I am afraid your task response will not be well scored because of these problems. Learn when a 5 paragraph essay is required and, when a 4 paragraph essay is sufficient. Your current presentation is a 4 paragraph statement requirement. It only needs 2 reasoning paragraphs. Over discussing is just as bad as under discussing as it forces more accidental errors in your writing and tends to result in an incomplete presentation during the actual testing process. The reasons you provided are valid though and quite good. Just, do not overdo it because of the potential for more scoring deductions in the end.

## the climate change - global warming With the development of society, it has a number of environmental issues that we have to consider in an earnest attitude. Global warming also participates in these group of problems, which causes a variety of natural disasters and put the human in the dangerous situation. Governments or individuals have to have some measures to solve the increase of planet temperature, I will show it in this essay. Some people only know global warming is an issue that people are facing but they do not know the dangerous perspective of its cause. For instance, increasing global temperature leads to melting of the polar ice caps, which creates the rise of sea levels. Therefore, the living are of people will be covered by water. In addition, the high of earth's average temperatures also get harmful for the wildlife habitats. For example, the melting of polar ice caps in North Pole and South Pole relate to the unavailable standard temperature of penguin or polar bear for living. Climate change produce extreme weather conditions. According to the recent analyses, there are thousands of forest fire every year all over the world. Some experts assess that global warming posed a serious threat. Not only does it make harm for asset but it also threatens to human's life. There are some measures to solve this problem. The government have to introduce laws to citizens in making the fossil fuels. In Vietnam, the government imposed more stringent regulations on people, who burn the waste in an unsuitable place, they can be fined one million Vietnam dong if they do. In addition, some organizations also can propaganda and promote public awareness in people. For example, the environmental organization in Singapore have created a tree planting day for people in order to cover the green on barren area and reduce the carbon emissions. Furthermore, the individual also have to have their own consciousness to protect the environment. In conclusion, the human have to act right now to call for urgent action on climate change and keep of the dangers of natural disasters. It is not only for human, animals are living but also for the health of our planet.

You understood the question, but cast too wide a net in terms of discussion topics. In fact, the discussion is so far generalized that the reason for the problem and the possible solutions are disconnected. How does the melting ice caps connect to the problem of burning fossil fuel? Fossil fuel burning is different from ordinary home burning of say fallen leaves. Your discussion is not properly focused becaused you did not properly outline your discussion points prior to writing. There is no cohesive representation of the topics you were to discuss. The presentation is confusing because the topics presented do not follow a logical discussion. Although the ideas are there, these are not properly developed so the essay feels improperly discussed or, under developed in presentation.

## Writing task 1 line graph. This is my first time, can you give me some comments? Hello everyone. This is the first time I finished a writing task, so I am posting it here to find some feedback. Thank you for reading. 🙆‍♀️ The line graph illustrates the changes in the rates of birth and death in New Zealand from 1901 and gives the forecast trends until 2101. Overall, both birth and death rates have increased, but the number of deaths has been more steadily rising. For 40 years, from 1901, the birth rate fluctuated from 20000 to 30000. Then it was pumped up to the highest point in 1961. After that, the rate of birth started to decline slowly, to about 45,000 by the end of the period. Compared with the birth rate, the number of deaths from 1901 to recently was lower. However, after a steady increase in progress, the rate of death will be overlooked in 1941 and reach its peak in 2061. Since that time, the number of deaths has stopped augmenting and maintained a level of about 60,000.

Please avoid posting exterior links in your messages. You could have easily cut and paste the question into your thread but you did not do so. Instead, you violated forum rules: - Do not post exterior links which are considered direct advertising for other websites at our forum - Do not post exterior links that may contain malware and other security threat potentials for our forum users You were given a second chance by the moderators of this forum which is why you will be receiving advice from me. The essay will receive an automatic failing TA score because you wrote less than the required 150 word minimum. This will result in points deductions based on word count. This will applied prior to the sectional scoring considerations. Such deductions could result in an overall failing score. pumped up Avoid the use of English slang words. Stick to academic writing references for proper tone and analysis presentation. Try to use a uniform sentence presentation in the reporting paragraphs. These should be uniform at 3-5 sentences each so that you will easily assure yourself of meeting the word count.

## Task 1: The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2015 and the present day.[/b] I am sorry that the image file is too big to put in. Please help me with expression, grammar, and word choice. The two given maps elaborate on the layout moderations of an art gallery's ground floor, respectively depicting the gallery in 2015 and in the present. Generally, the art gallery has undergone a course of refurbishments and relocations in order to incorporate more facilities and make use of the space to provide its audience with a better experience. The vending machine and the lift were additionally set up as a result of remodeling. In 2015, on the right-handed side, the respective exhibition room numbered from 1 to 3 was built alongside to which, while on the left side, the cafe, gallery office, and the exhibition room 4 were vertically also built in consecutive sequence. In 2020, the mentioned-latter facilities have been totally removed to make space for the new ones, including respectively the gallery shop, vending machine, temporary exhibition and children's area. Observing from the entrance of the art gallery, in 2015, the entrance hall, one could also spot, occupied a large bottom area, in front of which were the receptionist and the stairs. Now, after the redesigned scheme, the former has been relocated, being moved back for the purpose of freeing up the space. Eventually, the lift has been introduced next to a set of stairs, making use of the blank area.

A user cannot dictate specific review requirements unless the user requests for private paid review services. Only general review presentations are available under the free review services. For specific services, you must contact me privately. My business email address is listed below. Please do your best to upload the image next time. The two given maps Familiarize yourself with the different images used in the task 1 essay. A map shows a representation, of an exterior flat land surface. It is based on the features of a land mass such as "a map of the island". :Sometimes, it is also referred to as a sketch, or plan, in relation to a course of action as in "Map out your plan of action". What you have here is an illustration, which is a drawing of a picture that defines or describes a picture or drawing. You must properly identify the images as your task accuracy considers your ability to correctly explain what image is presented to the reader. Basically, your essay tries its best to represent the images provided but uses too many words in the process. Your essay is over the maximum 200 word count for this task. 200 ia the most number of words you can write within 20 minutes. However, that word count does not leave you any time for editing and proof reading. The most approrpiate word count is 175 words. Keep it concise. You also failed to proof read and correct the errors in your presentation. You need to at least practice proofreading on your own because that will be a requirement when you take the actual test. Get used to doing it in your practice test.

## IELTS task 2 - High-rise apartments Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. **Essay:** Seeking suitable accommodation has always been a topic of interest. While some argue that residing in separate flats causes people to experience solitude due to the lack of a sense of community, others claim that the community spirit can be better nurtured by those living in apartment complexes rather than those accommodating in houses. In this essay, I will look at both aspects before presenting my own thoughts on the matter. On the one hand, many apartment residents lead a quiet and lonesome lifestyle. Apartment contractors usually aim to create the most comfortable living environment by adding convenient factors in one condo as much as possible, depriving people of the motivation to go out and meet neighbours since they can do everything in their flats. In particular, many complexes nowadays allow their residents to pay for their utility bills online and also provide groceries shipment services. Therefore, other than commuting to school or work, most people have no incentive to go out and socialize with neighbors. As a result, most apartment inhabitants are rendered to a reclusive and mundane style of living. On the other hand, condominiums have the regulations and events needed to foster solidarity among residents. When choosing to accommodate an apartment, residents must follow a set of rules and participate in multiple compulsory events that allow them to socialize and get to know each other. For instance, many complexes organize annual meetings for people to meet and discuss the growth and management of the building. Also, fire drills are often conducted so that people can know how to support and help each other in case of an accident. All of these promote healthy relationships between residents not only in terms of making friends but also building solid support for each other. To my mind, apartment inhabitants can definitely lead a more sociable lifestyle and are better incentivised to establish a great sense of community for they are provided with a suitable environment and condition. While some residents are not intrigued to socialize with their neighbours, this has been alleviated by building management implementing stricter policies to encourage their residents. **Please evaluate my essay and give me feedback as well as score if you can. Thanks a lot!**

Hi, as a general format essay based on a solid personal point of view of both statements, the essay is well written. As an argument that explains the pros and cons based on the public perception, the essay fails to provide a clear opinion. The d"iscuss both views and give an opinion essay" asks the writer to accomplish 2 things: - Provide an explanation of the public support or non support based on a third person point of view. This will help differentiate the discussion from your personal opinion - Provide a personal opinion that shows a clear assessment of both opinions, then offering solid support for your preferred public opinion. Without the proper use of third person group pronouns, you did not clearly create a demarcation line between the public and your opinion. You only provided your opinion for all 3 scenarios. That is sad because your personal opinion had a good start, but lacked an explanation development based on the appropriate explanation of the public opinion side. The essay also does not have a proper summary conclusion to close the essay. Now, when in an actual setting, the inability of the writer to create a summary conclusion could lead to an immediate failure of the test. That is why you must make sure that you do not present an incomplete essay. The rule is "Discuss both views is a standard 5 paragraph essay". You are missing a whole paragraph in your presentation.

**Topic: ## "If you were the mayor of your town or village, what would you do to improve the quality of life there?" *Talk about three specific problems. Write an essay of 120-150 words*** Ho Chi Minh city is the best place to live where has all of I need such as technology, shopping center, cafe shops, schools and so on. However, nothing is perfect, everything has their own problems and disadvantages, this city is either. In this modern life with full of works, we cannot avoid the traffic congestion in every morning. Secondly, there are many environment problems which affect our health in negative ways especially the air-population. The last one,we do not have enough awareness to worry about all of these. While we are still polluting our habitats, we are not keen on the bad consequences, the deaths in the future. If I were a mayor,I would build many bridges above the streets to reduce traffic problems. The small vehicles such as bikes, motorcycles are definitely the priority cases. To reduce air population, I would encourage people to cycle or walk. It would be the effective way to reduce the CO2 emissions and It is good for our health either. However, there is also the fact that awareness of everyone in this city is determinant to decide that it is effective or not. So before stating my plans, I would open a new conference to discuss and let everyone gives their own opinions and let they know what the future is like if we continue harming the environment. Sum it up, all of above things are just my dreams. However, I really want to improve these problems because if we still keep our bad hobbies like littering, air pollution, our Earth will be soon died by us. Hello everyone, this is my first time to use this app to improve my writing skills. Sorry if I make any mistakes. I wonder what I should write in Subject because it is not enough for me to write the topic

Learn to outline your ideas before you write the paper. That way, your discussion points are always related and focused on the theme of the paper. In this case, the theme is "What would I do to improve the quality of life in my city as a mayor?" So the outline should focus on discussion related to public health, public safety, and local culture development. If I were a mayor,I would build many bridges above the streets to reduce traffic problems Focus on projects a mayor can complete. What you are talking about are national projects. These need more than just the mayor's influence to happen. Look at local projects for the local police, health centers, and local tourism. Those are the areas a mayor has direct control over. You may however, discuss representing the city with the national road development agency if you want to have road projects related to traffic decongestion. I would however, ask you limit the scope of your discussion to just the local things you do not need national approval for.

## Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements In this technology day and age, more and more people become well-known for their scandals and rich, instead of their exceptional talent. Besides that, there are many contradictory discussions surrounding this topic, whether that this would have a wide-scale negative or positive impact on youngsters. Personally, I think that the famous-by-rich celebrities would both set good and bad examples for the adolescents which depend on their circumstances. On the one hand, many people launch into fame by showing off their luxurious lifestyle, of which they easily buy and own unaffordable assets, making the rest desire to be like them. The young generation these days, especially those with low cognitive ability, easy to be tempted to imitate to buy expensive items to just be like their idol, regardless of how hard and difficult they need to afford those things. Some famous people have realized this situation, but instead of using their fame and spoken power to stop this case of a situation, they ignored it and even felt happy to feel themself have enormous impacts. Additionally, some celebrities nowadays literally do not need to make money to have a wealthy style but inherit or use their parents' handsome amount of money, adversely affecting the adolescents nowadays to depend more on their parents to pursue what they want, instead of eaning by themself, leading to the hedonistic lifestyle. On the other hand, the fact that some famous people are known for their scandalous lifestyle did not mean all of the glamorous are the same. Some cases that people tried by themself, making effort on pursuing their dreams, being wealthy thanks to their excellent achievements. For example, Mark Zuckerberg, who become famous for being the founder and CEO of Facebook, gave inspiration to the young by his recipe to succeed, including waking up early, reading books, not focusing too much on what you wear every day, etc, making a significant change on some of the young's lifestyles. This kind of self-made celebrity creates and contributes a sustainable impact on the young's success. In conclusion, some rich celebrities are well-known for their fancy style, instead of their outstanding talent, actually having negative impacts on the young generation, but to a certain point, there are also many wealthy famous people who influence positively to the young generations thanks to their strong determination and hard work. In my opinion, I think we should be selectively smart in choosing their role models, not just by their performance through social media, but also their real characteristics.

You are over discussing this essay to the point where you will not be able to complete all the task requirements within the 40 minute writing allowance. There should not be more than 300 words in your final copy. There must be less of a focus on word count and more on clarity of logic, reasoning, and simplicity of the presentation. Keep it within 5 sentences per paragraph, with no more than 3 cohesive reasoning paragraphs in the presentation. For this type of essay, only 2 reasoning paragraphs would be sufficient. No need to over discuss. Keep track of the time allowance. This is not a comparison essay. It is a single opinion discussion essay. That means, you defend your opinion using 2 clear reasons in individual paragraphs. Only the reason(s) related to your opinion will be scored. All other lengthy but unrelated discussions will not be considered within scoring requirements.

## holidays in Vietnam Tet marks the arrival of spring and is the most important celebration in Vietnamese culture. Most Vietnamese people enjoy this holiday with their family members in their hometown. However, in recent years, the trend of traveling far away from home during this holiday is frankly increasing. I have no objection to it. Tet is an occasion for family reunion. It is special for us to gather, enjoy time, and share meals with friends or family members. At that time, family members return to their homeland to visit grandparents and parents. It is really a beauty of Vietnam's culture. Besides, having a trip away from home is quite awesome to have new experiences with different customs, cultures and explore many beautiful scenes. It is also a different way to take a break and forget about the busy life after working hard for a whole year. To sum up, Tet is a time for togetherness, cohesiveness. We should maintain that, no matter what we do and how we enjoy this occasion. I think " a Tet far from home" is not a bad idea. As a Vietnamese, I highly recommend people spend this holiday with family and relatives in their h

is the most important celebration in Vietnamese culture. What is the cultural relevance of Tet beyond marking a season? This reference has to be further explained if you are to properly identify the importance of this event on both a social and family basis. It is special for us to gather, What sets Tet apart from the other holidays when the family also gathers? What is the relevance of the family gathering? Why can the other festicals not duplicate the same sense of importance in their occassions? It is really a beauty of Vietnam's culture. You prove this with what description? having a trip away from home is quite awesome to have new experiences with different customs, Is this in reference to tourists? Please clarify who you are referring to in this sentence to help the reader better understand your reference point. togetherness, cohesiveness. Remove the comma and use the word "and" instead. That is because a comma is used to connect a list of at least 3 words, you only have 2 words to connect. holiday with family and relatives in their h Huh? Incomplete sentence.

## the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time The charts illustrate the percentage of household with electrical appliances and the number of hours of housework per week between 1920 and 2019. In general, after 1920, more families started to purchase and install electrical devices in their own homes. The lager number of electrical products purchased had resulted in a decrease in the number of housework hours. In 1920, the percentage of people using all three appliances were relatively low. The figures for washing machine and vacuum cleaner were approximately 30 percent to 40 percent, while refrigerator usage was nearly 0 percent. With the limited number of uses in electrical appliances, the number of hours doing the housework during that period was equivalently high, at about 60 hours per week. However, in 1960, there was a sharp rise in the proportion of electrical appliances being purchased in homes, which led to the decline in the hours spent on household chores to 20 hours weekly. In 2019, the percentage of vacuum cleaner and refrigerator being used reached the maximum, 100 percent. Meanwhile, the washing machine experienced a gradual growth and reached the highest peak of almost 80 percent. This, in turn, cause the dramatic decrease in household working hours to only 10 hours per week *

The charts The importance of the number of images indicated cannot be overemphasized. The number of images and what each imager represents in summary will create the summarized discussion basis for your report and analysis. These create the imagery for the reader. Therefore, the number of images plus the actual chart type is important. By the way, these are not chart images but line graph images. You made a mistake in the image identifier section. lager Lager is a type of beer, which you obviously are not talking about here. Word choice and correct usage will either increase or decrease your score. When uncertain of the word reference, Use an equivalent for it. Remember to also spell check because sometimes, wrong spelling can incorrectly sneak into your sentences and presentations.That will also lower your score. .

## **Percentage of British students able to speak languages other than English in 2000 and 2010** The charts give information about the languages other than English that British students at a university in England can speak, in 2000 and 2010. It is noticeable that the proportion of students who could speak other languages in addition to English increased after ten years, in 2010. Moreover, Spanish was the language that was spoken most commonly in both years. From 2000 to 2010, the proportion of students who could only speak English fell from 20% to 10%, which showed a noticeable decrease of 10%. By contrast, the proportion of students who had an ability of speaking more than one languages increased from 10% to 15%, which went up by 5%. Both the percentages of those who spoke another language and those who spoke Spanish increased by 5% between the two years, which were the first and second largest groups in 2010, and the sum of them accounted for 55% of the total percentages. However, there was no change in the percentage of German speakers, which remained at 10%. Finally, the only decline language occurred in French, which dropped by 5%, from 15% to 10%. Both the proportions of French and German speakers were the lowest in 2010. *

The charts give information Be specific about the chart types and the chart representations. I am sure that you are aware of the several types of charts available, which is why properly identifying the type of chart is part of the TA scoring process. The proper differenctiation of the charts through its representations is also part of this consideration. Do not forget to identify the number of charts as well to help increase the clarity of the image summary. in 2010 Avoid providing specific information in the trending sentence / paragraph. This should only be a general reference. You may use the decades reference but no more than that because the minute actual data is mention, the analysis and comparison discussion requirements will kick in. Sadly, you cannot discuss the image information in the summary overview + trending statement / paragraph section. Good work in the analysis and reporting paragraphs. These are accurate to a fault. The 3rd paragraph could have been shorter to help keep the balance of the overall presentation, which was based mostly on the 3 sentence per paragraph presentation. The 3rd paragraph threw off the balanced discussion presentation. You could have added to the analysis of the 4th paragraph to help balance out the presentation. The 3rd paragraph has a run-on sentence in the last presentation. Based on the information presented, another sentence, rather than a comma should have been used in the final infofrmation presentation. That is due to the last half of the sentence presenting a stand alone string of information that cannot be coupled with the previous information.

## IELTS Writing task 2 - opinion essay *Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.* Many people argue that majority of people prefer to work for the same company all their whole time-life of working. However, there are still another group of people who prefer to work for other organizations to get diverse kind of experiences. I would detail my opinion before giving a reasonable view First, people working for the same organizations are people who like to have a stable at work. However, it is not detrimental, they can have a solid experience and important position at work. They have more veneration and career advancement than people working at different places. For example, A professor, who dedicated for a long time could have an opportunity to have more research works than B professor who comes from another. On the other hand, switching organizations can make people be more termes as multi-talented. They can learn more skills for their future job such as community skills, ability to find information, and improve their endurance of themselves. Maybe they can't have a stable life but in a contrast, they will have an exciting life as they wanted. Furthermore, they could have lucrative opportunities. It sounds more interesting when we have wide-range experiences, different counterparts, and become active humans. For instance, a software developer expert in different platforms and programming languages is better suitable for large software companies and their careers often include working in different companies. After analyzing these two outlooks, it can be assumed that sticking with one company can bring you steady working life. But choosing more than one company for your future job is also a good choice. If they choose it properly at the right time and the right place, they will get the optimal outcome.

I would detail my opinion before giving a reasonable view Good work on restating the two public opinions. Bad work on presenting a non-commital response to the "give your opinion" part of the discussion. In this form, the restatement has been fulfilled but the personal opinion presentation was not. So there will be a scoredown for the missing person opinion aspect. Remember, the score for the task is also scored on the clarity of your personal opinion presentation in the Restatement + Personal Opinion part. Without the clear personal opinion, you cannot be given a score for that section. Offering a general discussion does not reallly work well for this type of 3 reasoning paragraph presentation. You can actually respond either in a 2 reasoning or 3 reasoning paragraph format. To get a complete score for the reasoning section, you have to explain each public opinion and then offer your opinion of each in the same paragraph or, use the third person discussion points for each viewpoint in a stand alone paragraph, then offer your personal opinion as the third paragraph presentation. If you read your presentation, you will see that you used only your personal opinion based on a general discussion format, without really identifying the differences in points of view based on the original prompt indicators. While the essay does contain a summary conclusion, the missing clarity of the discussion paragraphs will be the main cause for the scoredown of this essay. \*Contact us privately for a review based on the scoring criteria.

## the consequences of moving abroad In this day and age, the topic of social problems is something which bears some situations. It is the opinion of this writer that settling down in a foreign country can lead to some severe issues. It is vital to understand that living in another country can cause difficulties in manner and habit. It is because people get used to the living style as well as the culture of their motherland, they can not mend themself to modify this new way immediately. Take Korea for a specific example, despite pointing at others is not serious, it is extremely impolite in this country. As a consequence, people can make rash decisions that may destroy their life. Therefore, it is easy to understand why they should obey and follow these customs to adapt to new accommodation. Another factor that leads to this problem is language limitation. It must be self-evident that language is a crucial instrument to communicate and connect in daily life. In this situation, Jack Ma is a prime instance, thanks to his great effort in studying English, he becomes a very successful businessman and overcomes the obstacles in language As a result, lack of understanding can strangle their perception and impact on foolish behavior. One must not neglect to mention that each country contains a different stigma so making trouble is something inevitable. Taking all points into account, it can be seen that living habits and language complications are valid arguments to consider. Hence, it should have been demonstrated that staying in another nation can cause practical issues.

I am not sure what prompt you think you are responding to but, it is not in line with the original Task 2 prompt which is: *Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?* Based on the aforementioned prompt, it is impossible for your essay to get a passing score when the following errors are considered: - Incorrect prompt restatement + writer's opinion (Task response format is wrong) - Irrelevant reasoning paragraphs. Both paragraphs are difficult to understand due to the improper sentence structures and the difficulty of the writer in finding the correct words to use to help take his ideas from thought to paper. It appears that niether discussion paragraphs are related to the language reference of the original prompt. The summary conclusion is also incorrect when the original prompt and reasoning parameters are considered. This essay does not appropriately represent the task. It is a non-passing essay. The focus of your discussion has to be on the social problems caused by language barriers. It should also represent some practical issues regarding communication of people who do not speak the language of the country they are in. It is obvious that you misunderstood the prompt to a great extent, leading to the incorrect discussion presentation. By the way, use first person pronouns since your direct opinion is required. Saying "this writer" infers that you are making a statement regarding something that someone else wrote. It is an improper opinion source reference.

## The diagrams portray the flood problem in a specific UK town and two feasible solutions. The commercial building locates to the South of River B. Industrial Park and Residential area, which lie in the North of River B, the former situation in the West of River A whilst the latter is to the East. Those buildings are all prone to flooding. The first solution aims to change the position of 3 constructions moving out of the flooding area. To be precise, a move up toward the South of river B is carried out in the commercial building. Simultaneously, other constructions are moved forward to the South of River B. The main advantage of this plan is to protect the environment, while the drawback is it costs a fortune. Regarding the second proposal, there would be no building displacement, but two dams are the main element to cope with the flood. One dame place on the North source of River A and one in the West of river B. Despite having a low expenditure for the benefit, this solution will affect the land. *

Please work on creating more understandable sentences for your essays. In this particular essay, you truly have a problem in presenting your thought ideas in sentence form. The sentence structures are problem filled because of your inability to form coherent sentence ideas. This is most specially true for the summary overview. Your summary of the images are going to force a failed GRA score due to the confusion your statement has created. it costs a fortune While this is an English phrase and it was used properly in the context of the presentation, it is not an academic form of reference to the expense of construction. Never forget that you are writing an academic paper so you cannot use non-academic words and phrases in the presentation. Such references are better used in creative writing presentations. You are also mostly just mimicking the illustration points rather than trying to present these in your own words. These will cause deductions as you are showing an inability to restate the image clue/ keywords. Since these are direct cut and paste presentations, you will lose task points in the relevant sections. You do not show any improvement over the course of your essay writing. This being the 3rd essay you are seeking advice on, I am starting to wonder if you are even listening to the advice that I am giving you at this point. Maybe you do not care for the advice I provide? If so, then consider this the last piece of advice you will receive from me.

***IT IS BETTER FOR CHILDREN IF THE WHOLE FAMILY INCLUDING AUNTS, UNCLES, AND SO ON ARE INVOLVED IN A CHILD'S UPBRINGING, RATHER THAN JUST THEIR PARENTS.*** ## TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? For editing, content, and formatting needs please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com. Thank you! EF There is an opinion that children benefit more if they are raised in an extended family rather than a nuclear family. Personally, I disagree with this view for several reasons. Firstly, childcare by parents together undoubtedly improves their children's mental and physical development. This is chiefly because mothers engaged in childcare often provide nurturing care and emotional support, while fathers usually spend more time in playful and physically stimulating interactions with their children. Of course, one might argue that when young people grow up, for instance, with grandparents, uncles and aunts, they can also gain additional affections and participate with them in certain physical activities. However, since older relatives tend to have less physical stamina and perhaps much less sentimental bond with young children, their interactions are not as active and empathic as the parent-child ones. In addition, growing up in an immediate family allows children to avoid conflict in terms of lifestyles between their parents and other caregivers. This is because when interacting with his parents, a young child is only exposed to a particular way of reasoning, which ultimately shapes his future moral stance and social-emotional outcomes. As a result, this can mitigate the risk of ideological conflict in the child's mind caused by extended family members. For example, although children will be allowed to play video games for hours on end if living with uncles and aunts, they will be told to use their time more wisely by their parents at home, which in turn, may engender bewildered children. In conclusion, the childrearing by both parents is superior because it enables children to better develop the mental and physical conditions and adhere well to their parents' way of living. These benefits are not as pronounced or even not found in the child's upbringing by an extended family. I'd very appreciate if you could grade mine based on IELTS descriptors. Thanks.

Reviews for essays based on IELTS band descriptors are done in a private capacity already. Right now, we only offer general reviews for the essays provided. The review of your essay will still be useful to you as a reference. Your opinion is incomplete. While this is an agree or disageree essay, it is also, an extent essay. So your response is only partly correct as it does not respond using the emotional response requirement. You will only get a partial score for your partly correct response format. Now, the reasoning paragraphs are acceptable with the exception of your reference to the stamina of the extended family. You are automatically assuming that the elderly relatives will be caring for the children rather than a mix of both young and old relatives, creating an error in your judgement of the prompt discussion requirement. You may receive deductions for this incorrect assumption. The conclusion was good, but failed to add a reference to your extent response, which the examiner will look for when awarding scores per paragraph consideration, prior to the full scoring consideration.

## some school subjects are not necessary There is an upward trend of replacing Arts and physical-training subjects with Logical subjects and Sciences which has led to lots of mixed reviews. Some people consider it is good for children to improve their IQ and logical intelligence while others complain that this activity are taking part in killing the Arts geniuses. From my perspective, I totally agree with the second opinion. First, as we all know that our brain is divided into two hemispheres: the left and the right and each takes charge of immensely different responsibilities while Sciences-related subjects are mostly left-brained. That prevents kids from overall personality development since they have to use their left brain to deal with a wide range of logical problems. It is good in some extent, but if a person just work on calculation and forget about emotion, no longer will they be human but a robot. Moreover, some students are truly doing well with their right brain as Arts geniuses in the past did. They possess admirable creativity and imagination, as well as a natural ability which let them released extraordinary ideas for world innovation. However, Arts elimination has unconsciously labeled them as dreamy and stupid individuals. In conclusion, despite key role of good Sciences foundation and logical thinking in 4.0 century, being man, the importance of emotion and creativity is still undeniable. Therefore, instead of replacing one thing by another one, why don't we seek a way to combine them wisely to bring better future for the next generations.

There is an upward trend of replacing You are referring to this essay in terms of task 1 wording. This is not good to use in a task 2 essay. That is because this is considered a personal reference that does not related directly to the original prompt statement. This creates an inaccurate version of the original topic. lots of mixed reviews Aside from the fact that this is a non-academic phrase, you are also not responding directly to the reference question in the original promopt. So your opinion does not have any solid thesis reference for the discussion aspect. The summary of the discussion plus your opinion presentation lacks in clarity and strength. I totally agree with the second opinion. Summarize the 2 reasons why you disagree to create the discussion outline in relation to your opinion. That will make a solid opinion statement on your part. However, Arts elimination has unconsciously labeled them as dreamy and stupid individuals. This needs further explanation development. It is incomplete and does not clearly connect with your opinion. Explain why this labeling is bad for the student in a manner that supports your idea. why don't we seek a way to combine them wisely to bring better future for the next generations. 2 problems with this presentation. First, you cannot use conjunctions (don't = do not) in academic writing. That is a GRA deduction. Second, there is no reference in your restatement that a solution statement is required in the discussion. Since you added this at the end of the summary conclusion, this will cause points deductions due to an incorrect reverse paraphrase. Do not include information that is not directly requested in the prompt requirement. If it was asked for, then it should have a stand alone defense paragraph in the body of paragraphs.

## Employees need more leisure time from work Holidays are something that many workers look forward to. In fact, I agree that that longer holiday should be provided for workers. Firstly, the first reason why letting workers to have more day off for holiday is a great decision is because it can help them to enhance their work performance later on. That is to say, if they have more time for themselves, they will get vacation to relieve stress after a hustle and bustle work that they have. For instance, workers in Facebook, multinational-company, in Singapura are more likely to have great and good decision when they have to deal with insurmountable marketing and operational problems in their company after taking 3-4 more days for holiday into account. Thus, the fact that taking more day offs for employees proves that the importance of holidays can not be overlooked in order to have employees with magnificent performance. The second argument in favor of giving the workers more vacation is because it can lead workers to have more time with their family which can increase their creativity in work environment. In other words, if they have a supportive and helpful family who stands by their side during difficulties, they feel loved and fulfilment, and this will make an impact on improving their creativity ideas which produce brilliant performances in their work life. For example, workers in marketing department in Vietnam have a tendency to produce magnificent performance in terms of great advertisement idea when they are allowed to have more day off for vacation. Because having more vacation and creativity are closely intertwined, it is much better for company to lead them having day off to give them more time for their family. The aforementioned evidence reveals that although workers should be responsible for their heavy workload, I would argue that letting them to take more holiday can be more beneficial to them in order to relax themselves before posing with another work at a later situation.

The prompt restatement + opinion is incorrect. It does not contain the original reference points for the topic basis. What is presented is the personal opinion of the writer, causing a failed task accuracy score. Yes, it is going to fail even as you provide a proper response to the agree or disagree question. That is because you did not provide a proper restatement or representation of the original prompt. Once there is a prompt alteration, as in your presentation, it will automatically have a failing TA score. Because having You cannot start a sentence with a connecting word. It is in fact, unnecessary in your sentence presentation. It was only used as an unnecessary word filler. Avoid using unnecessary words in your sentence formation, this can have a negative GRA effect.

## Wiritng IELTS 1- MAP - CHANGES **The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The alterations an airport will go through in the following year are illustrated in the layouts. Overall, one year from now, the Southwest airport will have changed dramatically. There will not only be a major expansion of the gate area but also a significant addition of facilities. To be specific, it can be inferred that the gate area will be enlarged and reshaped. Currently, there are only 8 gates around the square chamber, but that number will rise to 18 and the gates will be equally divided into two parts of the new "Y" shape. In addition, the northern walkaway will be replaced with a longer route sky train at the center of the gate area. The departure and arrival area will also have experienced dramatical modifications, especially the facilities. Along with the addition of a new café after passing passport control at the arrival, at the departure, the café will be replaced with the Check-in as both of them have been repositioned. Besides, it is portrayed that a care hire and an ATM will appear in the arrival area while a shop will also be added and found between the passport control and the gates. Ultimately, the entrance can be seen to shift from one way to two way entrance after redevelopment. In summary, the map depicts the how the future airport will differ from the current layout. It is highlighted that the airport will have been modernized and improved with new convenience facilities. I'd love to hear feedback from you guys, thanks in advance! *

Please get out of the compressed idea presentation per sentence mindset. The more information you try to add to a single sentence, the less understandable your discussion becomes. Try to properly represent your thoughts over several sentences. You will not be scored less for using 5 sentences, but you will be scored less when your sentences confuse the reader. Let me show you a clear example of one of your unclear sentences due to its long structure: The departure and arrival area will also have experienced dramatical modifications, especially the facilities Had you used a period to refer to the modifications then inferred the changes that would be made to the facilities in the next sentence, the presentation would not seem like an incomplete sentence presentation. You could have instead referenced this as: There will be notable changes to the facilities of the airport, specifically in the departure and arrival areas. \*Yes, it has to be areas+S because the reference has become plural since there is more than one inter-related section listed in the sentence. care hire Obvious lack of proof reading and information comparison with the image. It is Car Hire, not care hire. In summary, The summary conclusion you are presenting at the end is unnecessary. There is no need to repeat the information that was presented in the first paragraph. This is not an opinion essay, it is only a report presentation with analysis. There is no personal opinion required. Do not confuse yourself with the paragraph sections of the Task 1 and Task 2 essays.

\*\*\*Could you mark this according to 4 criterias like in the real IELTS writing test, namely Task Achievement, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Many thanks! For editing, content, and formatting needs please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com. Thank you! EF ## the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients The pie charts detail the average proportions of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar eaten in four types of meals in the USA. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that sodium and saturated fat are consumed most during dinner, while in snacks, people eat added sugar with the highest amount. Furthermore, the closer to the end of the day, the more unhealthy food individuals consume in meals. Regarding sodium, individuals consume it with the largest amount in dinner, at 43%; the same trend is witnessed in the consumption of saturated fat with 37% at the same time of the day. In contrast, both in breakfast and snacks, citizens have the least proportion of sodium consumed, at 14%. Meanwhile, this figure in lunch approximately doubles those in breakfast and snacks, at 29%. In addition, people take saturated fat with the least amount in breakfast, at 16%. This figure in additional meals and lunch are roughly the same, at 26% and 21%. In terms of added sugar, over two fifths of this nutrient is taken in in snacks. This figure almost doubles the amount of added sugar consumed in dinner, which accounts for 23%. Lunch and breakfast record the minority of added sugar consumption, with 19% and 16%, respectively. *

We do not rate the essays based on the IELTS considerations for free. For sectional scoring and assessment, you will have to contact us privately. Our free service only covers general reviews at this point. That will be the basis of the review for your essay. The pie charts Since you are mentioning the chart titles later on in the summary, you have to mention "the individual pie charts" to help the reader better understand the enumeration that will ber used later on in the summary sentence. four types of meals You have to list the 4 meals as specified in the overall image presentation. This will add to the clarity to the meal type reference as required. As a basic rule, when something is listed seperately in the image, you need to include that in the summary presentation. It adds to your task accuracy. Your analysis reference is not balanced. You over focused on the explanation of the third paragraph, when these should have been divided into 2 paragraphs to correctly follow the balance of discussion for 2 or more images.

## TOEFL: All university students should be required to take history courses Even though everyone needs to know a little about history, I think if we have to choose one course to have all students take, it won't be history. History is good, but not the most important thing that we have to learn about. In addition, it can also negatively affect students' interactions inside the university. I think history as a field of study is overvalued. As they say, people who don't learn from their mistakes in the past will inevitably repeat those mistakes in the future. However, I don't think this phrase necessarily is true. We are living in a completely different world from the past. The issues we are struggling with at this time are more complicated and we can't rely on what we have learnt from the past. For instance, the Internet affected almost all aspects of our lives in the modern era. Today, thanks to the world wide web connection, it's not easy to deceive people with wrong information about other parts of the world. It's just a matter of minutes to scroll down on the internet and find out about the reality. On the dark side, the internet made it possible for different groups to practice cyber spying without running the risk of endangering their lives. Now the question is how we can use past experiences to solve these issues while the nature of problems has changed so dramatically? I think, exposing the students to more practical courses such as modern economics, information processing, psychology and sociology equips them with more vital knowledge to survive in new conditions. Not only learning about history is not the most important knowledge that one can acquire, but also it can negatively affect the friendly atmosphere of the universities. Today, every university tries to increase diversity among students and absorb many students from different cultures. Even if we logically accept that we all are equal, in the end, we can't deny our sense of belonging to our ethnicity, race and nationality. I strongly believe repeating the story of wars between old nations triggers people coming from two sides against each other, even when they seem to be best friends. That's why I think it's better to forget about the past and focus more efforts on fortifying friendships. Overall, I think life always keeps changing and every time has its properties. To some extent, it would be beneficial to learn a little about the past so that we realize where our problems stem from. However, we can't apply the results of previous experiences directly to new situations. To me, enhancing our general perspective of human beings and their interactions, and analyzing each situation independently based on the existing data, seems to be more useful than relying on the outcomes of the past events.

I think This phrase made your opinion statement less than convincing. You are uncertain of your opinion in a set up that requires you to have the strength to back up your opinion with facts and strong personal references. If you had skipped this statement of doubt, your opinion presentation would really be convincing and strong. You have to present your opinion that shows you standing by your statement, regardless of what other people think. Your uncertainty is reflected more than once in this essay, which really makes your discussion even weaker and unimpressive. don't You are writing an academic essay. You cannot use contractions. Alwayse use both words for formalities sake. In reference to the understandability of your essay, it is understandable overall, regardless of the incorrect grammar and sentence structures. You have done an almost acceptable job in this test. More practice is still required. You have the potential to get a high score because you can make yourself understood even with imperfect English. Work on perfecting your sentence presentation and word usage to achieve that.

## weekly earnings of full-time graduate employees The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The given line graph described how much the graduates earned in 2002 from different age groups, and from those having different qualifications. Overall, we can clearly see that those people that were younger would earn more than the elder ones. Firstly, with people having higher degree there was an upward trend, in which the number climbed dramatically, with those were from 21-35 years old. About the elder ones, from 35-45, the increase was slight, from between 600 and 700 to between 700 and 800. On the other hand, there was a marginal fall with people from 41-45 to 51-55, it dropped from between 700 and 800 to a little bit more than 700, whereas, with the oldest people, the amount of money grew up gradually to approximately 800. Secondly, there was a steady increase recorded with people from 21-40, and having low degree, then with the elder one, the money that they can earn stayed unchanged, between 700 and 800. Finally, with other ones, it was recorded that the younger people from 21-40 years old earned more, there was a dramatical upward trend, whilst with the people were 45 or older, the money they can made dropped steadily To sum up, we see that all people with different ages and different qualifications would earn money high or low *

Incorrect writing format. You cannot use the task 2 essay format for the task 1 essay. The task 1 essay is comprised of no more than 3-4 paragraphs, depending on the number of images presented for the examinee. You only need 3 paragraphs in this essay: - Summary +trending sentence - Analysis and comparison 1 - Analysis and comparison 2 There is no concluding statement in the task 1 test. The third paragraph is over written due to the incorrect presentation format. The comparisons must be divided into 2 paragraphs. I would suggest that you rewrite this essay using the correct presentation format instead. I cannot accurately review your writing skills at this point because your presentation format is incorrect.

## us energy consumption The line graph below illustrates the information taken from a report written in 2008 about energy usage in America from 1980 with predictions until 2030. Overall, it is clear that people in the USA have the biggest consumption of petrol and oil. Also, the expenditure on nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower remained unchanged throughout the period shown. In 1980, the number of units of petrol and oil consumed in the US totaled exactly 35 quadrillions. The figures were considerably lower for coal and natural gas at about 20 quadrillions and nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower all have the same consumption at nearly 5 quadrillions each. By 2030, the amount of petrol and oil consumed by Americans is expected to rise sharply, reaching a peak of almost 50 quadrillion units, while consumption is anticipated to increase to about 25 and 30 quadrillion units for coal and natural gas, respectively. Similarly, slight rises in the amount of fuel consumed are predicted for nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower. *

In reality, your summary sentence is not changed enough to be considered an information restatement on your part. This was caused by the use of more of the original keywords in your presentation, rather than the use of word equivalents. If the examiner suspects that you cannot write anything original, and need to use cut and paste references for any reason, there will be a very strong tendency for the examiner to give you a failing grade. that people in the USA have the biggest consumption of petrol and oil In comparison to what country? The reference point is incorrect. This should not use a comparative format, but be written as a statement of fact instead. The analysis paragraphs are mostly confusing run-on sentences that could have used more clarity in the presentation. You need to write individual idea sentences instead of merged idea sentences. The latter is what resulted in the under developed and somewhat confusing comparison paragraphs. You skipped on the reporting and analysis of specific information from the line graphs.

## "throwaway" society In this day and age, citizens tend to live in a lavish civilization in a few nations, people only avail objects of a brief period after tossing them away. From my perspective, this phenomenon is driven by myriad reasons and some adverse impacts could have on individuals. There are two underlying reasons why people behave in that manner. First and foremost, people desire to stay at pace with the trend. To avoid falling behind, the public would seek more new gorgeous items that are appropriate for the times. For instance, young people readily afford around 2000 dollars for a trendy smartphone from Apple company to show it off to netizens. Another main culprit behind over-consumerism is advertisements. They appear throughout all places with a variety of eye-catching and stylish products that make people want to own them. It is obvious that numerous detrimental influences could happen to the aforementioned problems. Firstly, a number of people can be getting into debt. Despite the fact that their funds are restricted, they continue to shop. Hence, they have to borrow money from the bank to cover those expenses. Secondly, natural sources will be overexploited. Basically, the more regular items people use, the more products are manufactured. In conclusion, there are several factors leading to the background of the throwaway society. Moreover, the increase of consumer debts and environmental ruin are two main problems due to this community.

In this day and age Use of a memorized phrase will be a score deduction in the TA section. Avoid using place holder phrases as you were taught in your English classes. Learn to write at a college, rather than high school level, which is what the use of this phrase indicates(HS level writing). driven by myriad reasons and some adverse impacts could have on individuals. One idea per sentence. Seperate the response presentations. Do not use a run-on presentation as it will be deducted from your GRA score. Additionally, provide correct responses that used topic statements to represent your responses. That way, the thesis statement or discussion foundation requirement will be met. A non-definitive response tends to not be given a high score due to empty logic and thought presentations. There are two underlying reasons You specifically said "2 reasons". Review the paragraph, you only presented one reason. Therefore, the paragraph is under developed and not fully discussed based on the stated basis. Avoid referring to the number of discussion points so that when you forget or fail to present the second topic, your essay will not be given an under-developed score. The second reasoning paragraph has no completely developed explanation either. The writer wrote fast, but did not try to develop the explanation to a believable state. The main problem in this essay is the thought and explanation development.

**WRITING TASK 2: ## People are consuming more and more sugar based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?** These days, it is generally agreed that the consumption of sugar based drinks has been on the rise, specifically among young people. There are a number of reasons behind this tendency and several solutions should be adopted by both the government and individuals to improve the situation. To commence, there are two fundamental reasons that attribute to the increasing intake of sugary drinks. One reason that can be clearly seen is to maintain high concentration. It is true that consuming soft or energy drinks may help students and employees keep a conscious and clear mind during studying and working hours; however, extra digestion of these products can sometimes lead to weight related issues and other health problems. Furthermore, please alarming situation is also caused by the lack of awareness and knowledge of a healthy diet and lifestyle. Apparently, coupled with the dominance of fast food nowadays, sugar based beverages are consumed by a large number of people. To illustrate, it was once reported by the New York Times that almost 35% of US adults use see drinks every single day. This example highlights the fact that sugary drinks are becoming more and more common as a consequence of several aforementioned causes. This upward trend in soft drinks consumption has been largely studied and several viable solutions have been found. One approach to solve this problem involves the use of educational propagation campaigns. This means that certain campaigns of healthy dietary guidelines and suggestions should be given out by the National Public Health department and supported by the government and local authorities. Also, to rectify this problem, individuals need to joins hands in order to reduce the use of these harmful and nutrient-poor products and to adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle. Another way to overcome this issue is that the government should establish strict policies to impose high taxes on fast food, in particular sugary beverages. This is commonly believed to be one of the most effective way to minimize the consumption of those unhealthy products. This is because many choose to consume soft and energy drinks due to the affordable and cheap costs. Along with the increase in price, hopefully the high demand can decrease in the near future. To recapitulate, there are various reasons in which sugar based drinks are highly consumed and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.

it is generally agreed that specifically among young people. several solutions should be adopted by both the government and individuals Incorrect. These are the writer's personal opinions, which are not referenced at all in the original prompt. By including these sections in your topic restatement, you will be scored down for adding your own information, unsupported by the original prompt. The topic representation is now incorrect. Never use specific references in your restatement. Keep it general in reference. No attestations, no additional information. There are a number of reasons behind this tendency and several solutions By using a non-responsive statement to address the questions provided, you have not provided a clear insight and opinion regarding the topic. The questions asked were to be used to create or establish your 2 paragraph discussion points. This is a summarized discussion presentation that is needed to allow the examiner to judge your English comprehension and logic skills. Answer the questions next time. Based on these errors, the student will not achieve a truly passing score for the first half of the essay. The first half has a tendency to fail, which will affect the remaining scoring considerations when added up to produce the final score.

## WRITING TASK 2 - TOPIC: EDUCATION TOPIC: Some people say that children should go to school as young as possible, while others believe that children should go to school of at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. It is argued that schooling from early age will be ideal for the children to develop themself, while some think that the primary education can be able to teach for the pupils who are at least 7 years old. While children can benefit from going to school as young as possible, I completely believe they should be over 7 years old to enroll to school. On the one hand, the younger the children, the better the education. Young kids can become accustomed to studying environment easily. As a young age, children is likely a paper that can absorb the new information and learn everything in a very fast and effective way, which exactly likes how they learn to craw or walk. Furthermore, since attending school earlier than the normal age, the pupils can finish their course sooner than average; meanwhile, they still enhance enough knowledge for their coming career in adult's life. At this point, having more time to explore the world or do whatever they want would be a positive side for early education. On the other hand, education is much more suitable for children who is at least 7 years old. The students at this age can be mature enough to learn advanced lessons from the school's curriculum. Some subjects require children higher conscious level to understand the theory from the teacher and also be aware of what they learn. In addition, 7-year-old pupils tend to have proper behaviors towards education such as self-discipled or independent. Without any kinds of punishment or reminder, these children can do self-study at home or at school to use their best period to learn as much as possible. In conclusion, early age seems to be a logical time for children to learn something, but without some benefits mentioned, they should be old enough to be schooling with a range of academic subjects.

While the prompt restatement and opinion is not grammatically accurate, it is still understandable enough for an ENL. Your thought process is clear even if the word choice is not. Your opinion is understandable even though it could use further clarity. This paragraph will not get a failing score, but it will not get a high score either due to the word choice and sentence structure situation. Please make sure to use the 3 reasoning paragraph next time. Ensure that you use the third person pronouns in the first two paragraphs that discuss the prompt provided public opinions. Then use the first person reference in the third to indicate your personal interest. The first 2 paragraphs need to explain the basis of the public opinion, what makes it right and (in transition) what makes it wrong. For your personal statement, explain why you support a particular public opinion. Base this on your personal knowledge and experience. As of now, the current 2 paragraph essay provides a general discussion presentation. It does not differentiate between the public and personal opinion. The default understanding will be that you presented only your personal opinion of both public statements, which is not how the essay should be formatted.

## pocket money for teens I partly agree with the idea " It is beneficial for teenagers to receive pocket money from their parents". However, as a teenager, I don't think the parents should give their children pocket money on a regular basis. Considering to the positive aspects of the idea, when teenagers receive pocket money, they can use it for their own needs such as buying essential items, paying for many social activities, and other entertainment forms. In addition, when they encounter difficulties like their vehicle running out of petrol, they can overcome with pocket money receiving from their parents. Nevertheless, there also have many detrimental effects on their growing process. When the parents only give their children pocket money, they may become dependent. For instance, a teenage boy who receive pocket money every week or month, he will go through all his money with the thought that he can receive it for the next time. That his parents give him pocket money regularly makes their child become more and more dependent on the amount of money he receives. Moreover, having enough money to spend makes teenagers not understand the value of money. The way they waste their money on many trivial things can lead them into a materialistic life because they do not understand how difficult money is made. Reasons why teenagers become dependent appear clearer and clearer. In my opinion, teenagers should earn money on their own. They can do some part-time jobs in the restaurant, grocery stores, or some cafés where they can make money by their effort. This can help teenagers realize the value of money, so they will spend their money more properly. What is more, when they do the part-time jobs, they can improve many essential skills for their future like hard or soft skills. They can get more experience from many situations they go through. In conclusion, I quite disagree with the idea above, teenagers should earn money on their own and try to experience more, so they can become more independent.

There are several problems with your opening statement. The first, is that you used a direct cut and paste of the topic provided in the original presentation This will result in an automatic TA failing score as you cannot present an original thought based on the provided information. Cut and paste of the original will ensure an automatic failing score for the overall presentation, even as you are given minimal scores in the other sections later on. You are also not providing a clear opinion regarding the topic. You both agree and disagree with the given statement. Resulting in another failing TA score due to the writer not having a clear opinion pertaining to the given discussion instruction. At this point, you cannot expect to pass the test at all and it will be useless for me to continue reviewing your work. There is absolutely no way you will achieve a passing score.

## tuition fee of college or university ***IELTS WRITING Task 2: In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do you think the advantages that the government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages?*** *In some nations, students have to allocate money for the tuition fee of college or university, while some governments spend money for their students' study careers. In my view, the government should make careful decisions when offering financial aid to students as this phenomenon's drawbacks outweigh its benefits. It is undeniable that providing students with need-based scholarships creates a bunch of opportunities for students who cannot afford the exorbitant tuition cost. For instance, many states in the USA give financial support to poor citizens who are willing to pursue their careers in public universities. As a result, all students have their own chances to access with formal education in college or universities. However, it seems that the more money supply, the more laziness and dependence occurs on some students as they are fully ensured about their academics career by the governments. Those will become oblivious in their study or may spend the financial aid on other purposes. As a result, the authority may have wasted their budget investing in the wrong individuals. Furthermore, governments' aids are not quite flexible, hence, they might not meet the students' requirements. For instance, Vietnam's national scholarship is stable at a thousand dollars per year which cannot fulfill the needs of every individual due to the inconstant cost of tuition fee as well as the basic studying materials of different majors. In conclusion, some governments budget for the tuition fee of their students while in others countries, students have to pay it themselves. In my view, governments ought not to give financial aid to their students as the disadvantages overwhelm the opposite aspect.*

a bunch of opportunities This is highly non-academic in reference. Avoid using too much everyday English words that are informal in presentation. Remember that you are still writing an academic paper, even if it is conversational in tone. Respect for the academician must be evident at all times. pursue their careers Do not confuse studies with a career. Studies refers to the learning of a student aligned with his interests. A career is an occupation or profession. You have been regularly mixing up these two references in your current presentation. The misuse of these words will definitely pull down your LR score. Furthermore This is a run on sentence representation. Your thoughts are tied together but not properly explained nor justified in a convincing manner. There are no proper and believable examples provided to support the claims made. Try to avoid compressed statements for clarity purposes.

## price of flight tickets in Australia The charts below give information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013. The given chart highlight the data of in round tickets for flights back and forth between Melbourne and Sydney in Australia over a couple of week in 2013. Generally, what stands out from the graph is that ticket prices fluctuated between days of the week, which were noticeably high on Monday and the weekend, being significantly lower in the middle days of the week. Regarding the figure of the airline ticket price in week 1, of which the Sydney-to-Melbourne ticket on Monday rocket the pinnacle of 80$, while in the weekday, the cost leveled down to be approximately 30$ and 40$ and then being dramatically raised in the weekday. In contrast, the round-trip ticket on Friday, surpassed Monday's to become the most costly ticket in week 2, recorded the highest figure of roughly 80$was on Friday, the Monday's one was ranked to be the second. In terms of the ticket price in the flight trip in week 2, they showed the similarity when the weekend days tickets price seem to be higher more than those on the other days, of which, the Sydney-to-Melbourne ticket on Friday was higher than the flight-back ticket about 15$. While the middle days' price did not show any clear price difference, which constantly accounted for the lowest cost, Monday's day flight fare in Melbourne-to-Sydney flight showed a $20 decrease in the price of Monday tickets *

Two things are missing from your summary overview. The first is the number of charts. The second, is the type of charts. You also do not identify that the infomation presented is for both ways, using the same start and end points in reverse formation for each image. Identifying the image by destination would have helped with that clarification. You are also using a singular reference platform for what should be plural indicators since there are 2 images presented. Be consistent. These must be discussed in plural form due to the non-singular number of images. Monday's You do not need an apostrophe here because you are not indicating a possession of an item. The apostrophe version is used only when indicating ownership. In terms of the ticket price in the flight trip in week 2, This is confusing. You are not grouping the discussions properly. You should be compelting each comaprison discussion for the charts in single paragraphs. One paragraph for week 1 and 2, based on destination each. I find the information presentation confusing to follow and difficult to connect with either of the given images.

Hello, I'm currently practicing IELTS writing for my next exam. I hope you can help me to point out the pros and cons in my work. Thanks a lot! ***Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience*** With the evolution of technology, mobile phone has become a crucial equipment of our life. It does not only helps adults with their work, but also the children with their learning and keeping in touch with their parents while they are apart. While there are opinions agrue that this device should be kept out of the children, I believe letting the kids keep a phone on their side, even on school days, brings more benefits than downsides. The biggest concern when allowing children to keep a mobile phone is that they will focus too much to the virtual world and forget their real life and tasks. Most of the phones given to kids nowadays are smart phones, which help them to connect to the internet and have differents activities, as well as interactions with games and friends far away. It cannot be denied that these are more attractive than the schoolife and limited atmosphere around them. Therefore, the young will have a tendency of diving to explore the world that they do not know, thus, be distracted from study, and communicate less with their parents and relatives. Studies have shown that teenagers in recent decades spend more time surfing webs, joining different social media communities, and have fewer connections with people around them, which they hardly find anyone with the same habits as them. Another problem that mobile phone brings about is that it can make children to face more dangers. It is not only about the cybercriminals, which is a new and popular concern with the bloom of social networks, but also about the old threat of thieves, who always waiting for chances to steal valuable things. Smartphones are not cheap, and it is one of the targets that the stealers aiming at. However, the advantages of letting the kids with a mobile phones is obvious. Besides of being a tool to help parents keep track of their children, mobile phone also opens up a wide range of information to the young, giving them chances to learn more and extend their knowledge for better studying and growing. For many students, mobile phone has been a wonderful sidekick for them to search for materials for their paperwork, and encouraged them to investigate more on their school subjects. In addition, mobile phone connects the young to share their thoughts. Since teenagers, especially in this era, do not have the same way of thinking as their parents, it is difficult for them to communicate with their mom and dad to find a solution for their problems. In some cases, students also find it hard to find friends that share their ideas, even at school, because of the small scale of classes and learning environment. However, with the help of mobile phone, this becomes easier. Many cases related to mental health, with depression and maybe also suicide thoughts, have been resolved with the help of online community. Even innovations have been made with the connection of the kids with the same ideas over the world. In conclusion, the advantages of kids having a mobile phone outweigh the disadvantages, in terms of encouraging and helping them explore the world, although there are many problems that should be taken into consideration to create a safer environment for the ones involved.

As a basic rule, you must not begin the discussion of your opinion in the prompt restatement + opinion paragraph. This is only a 3 sentence paragraph comprised of: - Discussion topic - Reasoning basis - Writer opinion + thesis statement The first 2 sentences in your paragraph are personal opinion presentations that have altered the prompt discussion and its actual reasoning. So your essay will be deemed task inaccurate in terms of restatement, regardless of how proper your opinion statement is. Your prompt restatement will be the main cause of the failure of your essay. It fails to properly restate 2 things before your personal opinion: - Public opinion 1 - Public opinion 2 If you compare the original statement with your representation, you will see that you failed to recreate the statement based on the supplied reason. So the essay cannot move forward and be scored in a manner that will allow it to pass. If your restatement is not attuned with the original, then the essay has already failed a major part of the requirements for scoring.

## The value of four major world money market **The chart shows the end of year value for four major international money market indices in 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008. [FTSE100= UK Market Index, Dow Jones= US Market Index, KOSPI= Korean Market Index, CAC= French market Index] Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The chart illustrates the final annual worth of four major world money market indices from 2005 to 2008. Overall, while Dow Jones, FTSE 100, KOSPI, CAC 40 escalated in the first three years, they reduced largely in the final year. We can also see that the US always took the lead, followed by the UK, France, and Korea. From the beginning, Dow Jones rose sharply from 11000 index to more than 12000 index in just a year until reaching its peak in 2007 with nearly 14000 index. However, in 2008, the US market plummeted dramatically (down to only 9000 index), but still was at number one spot. The same thing happened with the UK : in the first three years, FTSE 100 price ascended steadily (from 5000 index to 6000 index); nevertheless, also in the last year, FTSE 100 merit decreased strikingly to approximately 3900 index. CAC 40 went through a synonymous trend compared to the first two nations. From the start, the French Market Index remained the same value at about 6000 index in 2005, 2006, 2007. Notwithstandingly, their price dropped down almost 2000 points next year. Finally, even though Korea stayed at the last position over the period, their value dwindled the least. Indeed, in the first, second and third years, the Korean Market Index maintained its steadiness at about 2000 index, but fell down to about 1500 in the final year. *

The chart illustrates Your summary is well developed. It properly enumerates the markets involved and the trends that the collective comparison shows. It is really a well analyzed summary. However, it falls short of a proper image identification. Yes, the presented image is a chart. However, you need to be specific about the type of chart because you could have been presented with a pie chart, a bar chart, or a columnar chart. The specific image identification helps should that you truly analyzed the image and that you are familiar with measurement images. Good job, but it could have been better. in just a year ear You may as well mention the starting year since it was mentioned in the image. If you see an identifier for some information in the image, then use that specific reference in your statement because it will be the starting point for clarity in your cited presentation. Remember, you mentioned specific years later on in the paragraphs. Be consistent in your information citation to help with the C+C score of your essay.

## Temperature and Daylight Hours The two tables depict the temperatures and duration from sunrise to dusk in London, the UK, and Sydney, Australia, during the same week in the final month of the year 2018. Overall, it is clear that London and Britain were noticeably colder than the others, whereas Sydney, Australia witnessed much longer daylight hours. According to the tables, it is apparent that regarding the temperatures of two urban areas, London and England had the joint-lowest max temperature, ranging between 9 and 13 units of temperature at its peak, and it plunges to 3 centigrade at its low each day. Moreover, the lion's share of the temperature of Sydney and Australia was substantially higher, with the maximum varying between 26-31 degrees and the minimum ranging from 17 to 19 centigrade. In contrast, the hottest day in Sydney and Australia was on Sunday, while Saturday was the hottest day in London and the United Kingdom. As for the daylights period, the new day in Sydney and Australia came at 05:45 a.m except for Sunday when it began 1 minute later and was over between 20:06 and 20:07. However, London and the UK were the nations that received scant daylight hours, with the sun rising from 08:05 a.m to 08:06 a.m and setting at 15:59 each of the recorded days. Additionally, the last day of the week had the highest number of daylight hours in all cities. *

during the same week in the final month of the year Make it clear that the measurement was done during the same year for the same last 3 days of the year. It is not the same week during the final month of that year. You need to clarify that statement because of the chart reference to specific dates. Name the dates in the summary. You can gloss over it in the body, but not in the summary. temperatures of two urban areas Please review the chart. There is no specification for 2 urban areas. Only country locations. Your information reference misleads the reader and will result in misinformation being delivered. Yes, it is tantamount to Fake News. Do not add references that will not be supported by a review of the image. Your information report has just become highly inaccurate in terms of meeting task requirements.

## It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks In busy society, people have heavily stress, they release their stress by doing outdoor activities hence it is significant for all towns and cities to have large public places like parks and public places. In addition, there are lots of tourists will come to visit these places. In this essay, I will discuss this issue and explain why I agree the following statement that is important that the government should provide large public outdoor places. Firstly, people can have outdoor activities and release their stress in public places. Science research, outdoor activities are conducive to people who have lots of stress, there are lots of benefits for residents. For example, I run at the park after work every day. I like to think lots of think when I'm running, and sometimes I get a new idea from scene in the park. Therefore, the public places can help people not only relax also have good thinking in the park. Secondly, many visitors will come to visit parks and some large public outdoor places, consequently, the country can promote their infrastructure by tourism earning. It is a good recycle to the community, improving the region and have a better life. For example, tourists like to go to New York to visit central park, it brings lots of benefits for stores which are located at there. In addition, stores can donate money to the community, and use money to decorate streets and central park. Therefore, it brings lots of profits between the community and residents. In conclusion, I agree that is crucial to have large public places and parks, these places are significant for residents. Afterwards, people may satisfy with these places because they can remove the bad mood at there.

Do not begin the discussion of your opinion in relation to the topic in the prompt restatement + opinion presentation. This paragraph should only contain your version of the original prompt (1 sentence), your opinion (1 sentence), and your thesis statement (1 sentence) for a total of 3 sentences in the prompt introduction paragraph. The minute you present your opinion in this paragraph, the examiner will score this section based on prompt restatement inaccuracies as you are already altering the original presentation. It no longer contains the original elements of the discussion in the section that requires it. If you must present your opinion, do so in the last part, in the form of the thesis statement. Not a full discussion, just a topic reference. I like to think lots of ~~think~~ Word usage error. You think of a lot of THINGS, not think. Perhaps this was a case of mistyping on your part since think and things are similarly spelled. Be careful when typing and always review your work for proper word referencing to avoid word usage deductions. places, consequently, the Punctuation error. There should be a full stop, a period between the words since Consequently indicates a different topic from the first one. One sentence, one topic is the rule. Seperate different topics per sentence. Aside from these errors, you did an acceptable job of presenting your reasoning discussion paragraphs. Just remember to be more careful with your grammar and word usage. These are the sections where your errors were spotted in this essay. Make sure to avoid the same mistakes going forward.

*Writing topic: **The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.*** ## To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this view? ANSWER With the striking developments in various fields, humanity has experienced remarkable changes over the past several years. Therefore, the norms of lifestyles, attitudes or behaviors in the gone-by days are thought to be incompatible with youngsters in this modern world. Personally, I am in favor of the above statement as the reasons following. To begin with, on the grounds of the strong transformation of society, some outmoded customs have gradually lost their relevance in the life of young generation. In fact, the world is ever-changing in every aspect of life leading to enormous differences in social viewpoints in each era. Accordingly, numerous prejudices of the elderly are now considered irrational. For example, decades ago, the majority of individuals had a strong aversion to and even vehemently opposed the LGBT+ community or hobbies such as tattoo and piercing. However, nowadays, these topics are commonly seen as normal thanks to the growing priority of human rights and cultural interference. With respect to career, the young can hardly succeed if only traditional methods are applied. Indeed, before the advances of technology and automation, when most tasks were done laboriously, hard work was highly valued. Nevertheless, in the context of digital era, the keys to success such as diligence of predecessors become outdated. Instead, proactiveness and independence or skills namely computer skills or organizational skills, which were previously overlooked by older generations, are now regarded as factors in achievements. In conclusion, for the aforementioned reasons, I hold a firm belief that old ideas on mindset or behaviors are not helpful in preparing the new generation to face a modenizing world in most of the cases. Alternatively, the young should get ready to embrace the changes of the new era. (285 words)

Personally, I am in favor of the above statement The question was , "To what extent?" The extent is missing in this response. You should have stated the "firm belief" in the opinion sentence first, prior to restating it in the conclusion. It is important that you refer to the correct response format in the first paragraph because you are being scored in the accuracy of your response. Keeping it till the very end means that you will not receive full scoring considerations for your response in the first half of the essay, and will only receive a partial credit for referring to it in the concusion. for the aforementioned reasons There is a reason the last paragraph is called the reverse paraphrase. You cannot just mention "the aforementioned reasons", these need to be repeated in short form within the concluding summary. That is because this paragraph is meant to summarize the body of reasons that you provided, in relation to the topic. I wish you had done that properly in this section so you could have recieved a full score credit for the section.

***Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.*** ## DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT? *Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.* In many countries, since technology are becoming more and more easy to access with cheaper price, many adults start working from home, and also, their children, beginning to study at home with their parents. In my view, this is a negative development which can bring prolonged consequences with not much benefits. First of all, only staying at home while working or studying could cause health problems, which are mental issues and physical health. To clarify, humanity need social contact to co-exist, and that is also true with children and adults. Without meeting with their colleagues and students, it's likely for a person to deal with bad emotions like depressions. Additionally, as people need to use phones and computers while doing their job. Those technological devices could be detrimental to your eyes, back, and other parts of your body. As a consequence, these harmful effects will put a big strain on not only people but also the society as a whole. On the other hand, working and studying remotely can leads to low quality in action. Some principal problems of this may include frictions at home like noise, household chores, with full sources of frustration from your house. Secondly, despite the increasing growth of technology, they still have drawbacks including low internet bandwith or lack of interaction, which can affect the ability of concentration and overall performances. In conclusion, besides lots of advantages we achieve from technology, it is also true that this development is a backward move and should be considerably changed to alter the situation. Thanks for spending your precious time with me.

since technology are becoming more and more easy to access with cheaper price, Wrong reasoning. This question tests your knowledge of current events. How you relate the pandemic, Covid - 19, and its aftermath in the workplace and school system would have been the more appropriate reasoning for this discussion. However, since this is just the opening paraphrase, you need not present your reasons in the restatement. You only need to restate the original topic, without your thesis reasons yet. The reason should have been a part of your opinion presentation. By presenting your opinion this early, you accidentally altered the topic presentation and discussion basis. On the other hand, Incorrect transition phrase. You cannot say this because you have not changed your point of view. You are still prsenting supporting information in relation to your opinion. The correct transition word would have been "Additionally" to indicate supplementary information. Please note that you indicated a cheaper price in your prompt restatement, yet you did not mention this again in the reasoning paragraph. This creates a disconnection between the opening statement and the rest of the discussion. These 3 sections must always relate and create cohesive discussion paragraphs. The reasons must always help build up the correctness of your opinion.

**Topic Title: *Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well*.** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is believed that nowadays the youngsters should be encouraged to engage more in community work, and this would be beneficial for both teenagers and society as a whole. Personally, I completely agree with this statement. To begin with, participating in more voluntary work would bring young people various benefits. First, they could learn more social skills or soft skills such as communication skills or problem-solving skills, which would be extremely helpful for their life or future career. For example, by experiencing volunteering activities, many students have applied practical skills such as time management in their studies, which may lead to good results at school. On top of that, the youth are less likely to spend hours wasting time in front of the screen. Take me as an obvious example, after I had joined a volunteering club at school, this helped me limit the use of social media to only 30 minutes a day. Furthermore, it is undeniable that society would have long-term benefits. More and more voluntary engagement of adolescents could also create valuable services, which help the needy by providing them with food and clothes. Additionally, this trend may strengthen the relationship between teenagers and the community because the youngsters would know the importance of helping others. As a result, many high schools are organizing more voluntary clubs in order to give their students more chances to experience volunteering. To sum up, it seems to me that social work without pay would offer advantages for both young people and communities.

should be encouraged to engage more in community work There is a difference between ordinary community work and free community service. The difference is basesd on remuneration. Ordinary community work allows the youth to receive some sort of honorarium for their participation. Free community work does not. Your reference did not differentiate between the two. The original prompt was clear about this. It is free community work. Additionally, you did not rephrase the term community work in your presentation. You should have used synonyms in its place to show how well you understood the term and your ability to restate the same in your own words. Take me as an obvious example, You did a good job of connecting yourself to your social media reason. However, there should have also been a reference as to how you became a better member of the community because you mentioned that as a reason in the first part. An example that shows how you contributed positively and learned something from it would have been a perfect example. Save for these 2 observations, I would have to say that you understood and discussed the topic very well with several relevant examples. This will be a passing essay in an actual test format.

## units of electricity production in France and Australia The pie chart compares fuel source Aus and Fra in terms of their electricity output in units between the year 1980 and 2000. Overall, there was a significant change in the units of electricity produced by fuel source of two countries shown on the graph. It is clear that the year 2000 witnessed an upward trend in the total production of Fra and Aus. Looking at the chart in more detail, in 1980, the amount of electricity produced by coal in Australia was double that in France, 50 units compared to 25 units. The electricity output produced by coal in Australia witnessed a significant increase from 50 to 130 units over a period of 20 years. Meanwhile, this figure for that in France remained stable at 25 units. From 1980 to 2000, the electricity produced by nuclear power surged by 111 units, exceeding all other sources which remained unchanged. This growth made the total production in France doubled, 90 units compared to 180 units. * *.*

Please do not abbreviate the names of the countries in the images. Specially when these abbreviations directly affect the clarity of the report presentation.This is highly frowned upon in academic writing. It should never be applied to formal reports such as the task 1 writing requirements. As there are 4 charts in the presentation, it is incorrect to refer to the image in singular form. These must be described in plural form. Kindly rvivien your grammar lessons in relation to numerical references. The summary overview is confusing in presentation. The first error is in the image reference. It changed from a pie chart to a graph. The second problem refers to the lack of reference to the trend across the related images. The trend should refer to 4 trends. One per image, creating a trending paragraph in the process.

## junk food tax In today's busy world, having meals at junk food stores seems to be a conventional eating habit for many people who do not have enough time to enjoy meals. However, it is undeniable that consuming too much fast food causes a significant detriment to our health. In my perspective, the authorities should put a high tax on fast food in order to boost individuals' healthy eating habits. The primary reason for this is that unhealthy substances are expected to be harmful to people's systems if ingested in large quantities. In other words, fast food is believed to be the main reason leading to obesity due to a large amount of oil and sugar in fast-prepared products. Moreover, people, especially nowadays teenagers, are prone to diabetes, high blood pressure and some psychological issues such as distress or feeling starving all the time. Recent research has shown that people in the USA, which is claimed to consume the largest amount of junk food in the world, are getting overweight six times faster than other nations. American Scientists also suggest that individuals should maintain a healthy diet to ameliorate health issues. What can be seen from this is that health problems will get more acute if people eat fast food too often. Another reason is that the tax coming from the fast food industry could be used to build the state health care systems for the community. To be more specific, the government holds a notion that it is the most effective way to utilize the lucrative income from the tax because the more state hospitals are constructed, the more people have opportunities to enjoy free treatment. In various European countries, a lot of health care systems are built by using money from fast food buyers to create a quality chance for impoverished citizens. Nevertheless, I also claim that the high tax from unwholesome substances could be paid for not only state hospitals but also charity purposes. It is inferred from the passage that tax should be collected to use for advantageous purposes to the community. To sum up, it is a should for the government to put a high tax on the fast food industry in order to inspire a wellbeing lifestyle and use it for positive reasons. It is recommended that mankind should have a healthy diet by eating more veggies and stop ingesting harmful junk food.

The prompt restatement is nowhere near the actual topic of the original prompt. I understand that the author was trying to be creative in his rephrasing but, he failed to do so. Rather than delivering a prompt topic accurate restatement, the thoughts presented highlight the writers reasoning opinion instead. Something that would have added to the score if it had been presented in the 2nd or 3rd paragraph instead. Kudos on your creative way of agreeing with the increased tax stance though. It was a unique and will receive a positive scoring consideration. The health issue concern in the first reasoning paragraph is only considering the medical consideration. There needs to be a connecting mention of tares and its relevance to the health discussion. Afterall, tax is the foundation of the discussion. All reasons need to circle back to taxes. I was reviewing the prompt and there was no inference as to how the tax was to be spent upon collection. That is a severe prompt misdirection that will carry a heavy score deduction. Avoid such errors by reviewing the original discussion instruction, and make sure you stick to it.

***Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.*** ## *To what extent do you agree or disagree?* It is observed that several renowned organizations are headed by men, although women account for half of the workforce in distinct developed nations. Women usually face trouble with promotion in companies, so that I strongly agree with the notion that there should be a fixed percentage of positions allocated to women. To begin with, almost all women are more loyal, honest, dedicated to what they are responsible for than men. Specifically, there is no surprise that enterprises prefer female employees because they can take the deadline seriously and ensure to meet them. Besides, women are known to be more creative. Nowadays, a new trend is observed in some advertising agencies which have seen a rise of women in creative roles in an organization. For instance, some of the positions that require creativity in company such as copywriters, planners, etc are responsible for women. However, the statistics also show that these ladies are usually headed by a male, who runs the work, takes the awards and promotions. Women also play an important role in the family's finances. Currently, working mothers contribute to the financial resources of the household, or they also use their salaries for children's education. Moreover, many women have become the main source of income in many houses, especially single mothers or those who are divorced. If these women were denied to get the opportunity to have fixed positions in firms, they are not capable of raising their offspring or paying for living expenses. Thus, women should have a chance to get a job to support their families. In conclusion, it seems to me that organizations should have a solution for this phenomenon because women tend to have a great impact on the workforce and the family's financial burden they have to cope with. *I'm so grateful for spending time for me*

Women usually face trouble with promotion in companies, Do not present your personal opinion in such a direct manner yet. It should be the last sentence in the statement. Fill the second sentence with your question response first, followed by your reasoning / thesis presentation. Then the task would have been appropriately formatted. The opinion topic reasons are always presented last. etc Non-academic word usage. This reference was not really needed in this presentation. In fact, it is never used in any academic writing paper. Avoid such empty references as these do not add to the relevance and content of the statement. To begin with, almost all women are more loyal, honest, dedicated to what they are responsible for than men. The discussion in this paragraph does not circle back to the basis of your reason. That of women losing out on promotions even though they work harder and better than men. Compare the work ethic of both genders in this paragraph to prove that women should represent half of the powerful offices in a workplace. Women also play an important role in the family's finances. How is this relevant to their promotion trouble in companies? Both your reasons are not cohesive in the sense that niether represent a defense of your thesis statement. There is no connection between the writer's reason and his defense explanation. These need to relate to promotions, which was the center of the writer's thesis statement.

***Topic Title: In many countries today increasing number of people study at university. Students, who will probably earn higher than average salaries after graduating, should pay for their own higher education, rather than state.*** ## What are your views? Nowadays, the number of pupils who enroll in colleges has become higher and higher than before. An abundance of governments endows very high money to facilitate candidates implementing tertiary education. Some people claim that pupils who certainly receive wages above the averages should pay for their school fees instead of the government. From my point of view, I disagree with this notion for some reasons behind. First of all, the government is the sponsor, not the payer. The currency is used to endow to those pupils today will become the best investment in the future. We all know that a strong country is operated by talented individuals. The scholarship is never given to the worthless one. If students desire to gain the scholarship, they will have to show that they are worth to be invested through their scores, projects, and knowledge. As the result, the scholarship only belongs to the well-deserved person. Paying tuition fees for candidates does not only support them to complete their studies but is also equipment aiding the government to seek genius. In other perspectives, funding in school fees could allow poverty pupils to have opportunities to keep on their studies. As we can see, university tuition is not small finance that all of the families have enough ability to send their child to. Moreover, taking student debts helps students realize the value of money, so they will have more effort on the learning process to gain the best achievement. The bottom line, as an ungraduated candidate I feel like there is no negative effect if the government endow in the tuition fees. As I mentioned above, the government is just a sponsor, not the payer. We would have this support if we were deserved it, if not, we would have a loan that we have to pay back when we found a job.

has become higher and higher than before This is a very elementary form of word usage and referencing. This is not the way a college graduate would write an academic paper. it is imperative that you learn to use more academic and western ways of delivering your ideas. That means, avoiding such elementary words. It would have been more academic to have referred to "has increased" or "continues to increase over time." I disagree with this notion for some reasons behind. This is an empty thesis statement. It is empty because it fails to establish the discussion platforms for the 2 reasoning paragraphs. An effective thesis statement will state the topics that will be discussed in support of your opinion. The sentence should be phrased as "I disagree with this opinion because (reason 1) and (reason 2)." The task requirements will be more than met with such a statement presentation. the government is the sponsor, not the payer. Incorrect. The government is the sponsor, hence, the payer. The payments are taken from the collected taxes from the people. These taxes are allocated to government sponsored universities and colleges. The government represents the people, whose taxes go to supporting the studies of their children for free. Therefore, it may be correct that the students payback the tuition fees when they graduate to help those who will also benefit from the subsidized education program. Do you see the error of your argument?

## the advantages and disadvantages of playing games The positive alteration of technology has lead to an increase in the number of youngsters who are keen on playing video games. However, it also sparks bitter controversy between the advantages and disadvantages of this issue. In this essay, both of them will be discussed in detail. First and foremost, it will be beneficial if children choose suitable subject for them. Indeed, there are available a wide range of vivid educational content that both disseminating knowledge and entertaining. For instance, in the chess game, offspring not only acquire vocabulary of pieces but also stimulate their desire for exploring strategies to become a victor. In addition, this game demands intense concentration and a long time, so it will train juniors the virtue of patience, remain calm under pressure so that your brain can work to its maximum. Irrespective of the advantages, the drawbacks also exist. One of the most fearful demerits is the loss of social ability. Instead of a normal person who converses every day to integrate into society, poor communicators bring themselves to solitude. This habit is formed because they normally spend too much time on video games without communication. Those teenagers tend to avoid public events and enjoy working alone. If this concern goes on, they will have trouble on the daily basis. Take a case as an example, since my family and uncle family live in the same city, the favourable distance, so we often pay a visit to each other. Nevertheless, whenever I and my cousin have a talk, we are unable to maintain a topic of conversation, only enquire after one another, then hurriedly finish our conversation. Because he shows no interest in what I say, replies perfunctorily and superficially, so that make me unwanted to continue. To summarise, playing video games will definitely bring either benefits or drawbacks. Therefore, kids should be under parental supervision within a more contained environment filled with family-friendly videos.

The positive alteration The techonology is not changing, which is the meaning of "alteration". Rather, the techonology is "developing" from the original state. Improvements are being made rather than changes (alterations). Word choice error. The sentences in this presentation are also a bit problematic in terms of time references. +S at the end of "lead" would have made the word usage more proper as it would inficate present tense or current time references. Take a case as an example, What case? If this is in reference to your family, then say "Take the case of my family for instance." The missing subject made the verb confusing to understand. The example does not relate to the way people access computers and video games. It is not convincing because it has not connected itself with the discussion basis. Insert the technological reference in the example as best as you can.

***Topic:** **People say that a child's success is dependent on the way parents bring them up.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is indisputable that family plays a crucial role for each person. Some argue that the pedagogy of parents determines the advancement of children. I strongly agree with this viewpoint for the following reasons. To begin with, one of the most substantial parts of a child's success is their parenting. Notably, children emulate their parents' habits, whether positive or negative. So, if the parent has good manners and habits like reading books, their children will acquire these good things and have a higher percentage of success. On the contrary, children growing up in needy families and poorly educated parents will also be adversely affected. Researched by the Ministry of Public Security for 2,000 students in reformatory schools, about 50% of cases had their parents' difficult childhoods. Therefore, children are greatly influenced by how their parents nurture them. Personal will and the learning environment, on the other hand, partly influence a child's growth. There have been many successful entrepreneurs from low-income backgrounds. For instance, Billionaire Jack Ma had a deprived childhood before founding Alibaba - China's leading electronics group thanks to his strong will. In addition, a healthy learning environment creates favorable conditions for the development of children. Children who receive a quality education will have their minds shaped and have clear career goals for the future. To conclude, social factors such as school or circle of friends partly contribute to the future success of young people. However, if children are adequately cared for by their parents, both emotionally and physically, they will grow up to be more self-sufficient and possess the right attitude. As a result, they will be able to expand further in the future.

for the following reasons. To provide a stronger thesis statement. Indicate your agreement with a sense of reasoning. Rather than saying "for the following reasons", it is better to say "based on my beliefs that (reason 1) and (reason 2). These will be further explained below. " Such a representation accomplishes 2 things. - It outlines the discussion topics for the 2 reasoning paragraphs - It clearly accomplishes the task requirement through a thorough presentation of your opinion and opinion basis. The latter being an extra scoring cosnideration for the TA score whenever indicated by the writer in his opinion statement. Researched by the Ministry of Public Security Since the instruction is for the writer to use personal knowledge or publicly known opinion, it is best not to indicated "reasearch by" as this means you are not sharing public information. Simply stating that, "the Ministy of Public Security has said" informs the examiner that this is publicly known opinion, even it is actually otherwise. The framing of a sentence also helps to add or lessen the score, based on the discussion evidence requirements. It is all a matter of sentence structuring, when wanting to indicate a piee of public information. Personal will and the learning environment, on the other hand, partly influence a child's growth. This opinion will not receive a score and the word count will be deducted from the overall number as this part contradicts your personal opinion as indicated in the thesis statement. Being a single opinion essay, your ability to defend your opinion based on 2 valid opinions will be the basis for your C+C score. Suddenly changing your opinion will result in score deductions instead.

## employee letter to his manager Hello everyone, this is my writing assignment at school and I am looking for some feedback as I am not sure if my email writing is formal enough. Thank you all for your time and your feedback. The topic of the email is about an employee writes to his manager to discuss the training program for the employess. Dear Mr John Robinsons, I am Kelman Shavers from the sales team. I am writing this email to discuss about the next training program that I would like to take part in. As you have already known, our company has just acquired Kelman Shavers, a company which is used to be our rival. For that reason, the number of sales team's members has increased significantly as the result of the buyout. However, the two sales teams do not seem to fully cooperate with each other. They do not show the team spirit as they used to work in rival situation. Acknowledging the current situation, I would like to come up with plans or activities to connect these two distinct groups together. I suggest that our next training programs could include several workshops or seminars in which the topic should focus on several different techniques to build a good team's spirit, or ways to enhance the bond between team's members. By combining these knowledges in the training program, our sales team as well as myself can understand more about the importance of teamwork and the ways to form team's culture and how to maintain the bond in the long - term. I hope that you take my suggestion into consideration. Please reach out to me if you would like to discuss further in the future. Regards, Kamal Satinder

You cannot use the company name as your personal name in the letter. If the company is named after you, then there was no need to acquire the company. You owned it all along. You cannot buy your own company. Change the employee name to something other than the acquired company name. I noticed that the name of the writer is different at the end of the email. So the incorrect name at the start was just an oversight? In addition to that, you will need to provide an employee background summary in relation to the proposal you are about to present. You have to present your background to allow the reader specific reasons to listen to your suggestions. Being a mere member of the sales team, you cannot make suggestions that will have a direct effect on the company relationship with the employees. Only members of the Human Resources department can do that. You will need to change your company position to make your plan of action more believable. You may refer to a sales team situation in the email that requires your suggested actions to be enacted via employee team building and training schedules.

## proportions of females with some connections to sports The table describes the proportions of females whose age were from 16 to 25 in a particular country playing sport or watching sport. Overall, it is clear that almost all of the females in this age group tend to watch tennis and participate in playing basketball, while there is a small number of women watching badminton and joining in going horse riding. Looking in more detail, the percentage of 15-26 years old females watching tennis, ranks first at 60 %. Following watching tennis is watching basketball which takes up around 55% and this figure is more than twice the percentage of 15-25 years old women watching Gymnastic (20%). The percentage of women in this age group watching golf, horse riding and racing, badminton take up lowest which was 10%, 7%, and 5 % respectively. As for participating in these sports, there are the largest amount of 16-25 females joining playing basketball(50%) which is followed by tennis and golf jointing second (30%) . The percentage of women participating in badminton, gymnastics, horse riding, and racing is 11 %, 10%, and 4% correspondingly *

females playing sport or watching sport The subject is presented in plural form ( + S ). Therefore, the activities represented need to be in plural form as well ( + S ). Do not mix singular and plural forums to avoid grammar usage errors and deductions. The table describes the proportions of females whose age were from 16 to 25 in a particular country playing sport or watching sport. This is literally a cut and paste of the original image description. It was not restated or paraphrased in a correct way. The writer will automatically recieve a failing task accuracy score. Try to put more effort into using synonyms or trust in using your own words to explain what the image is all about. The last paragraph does not offer a balanced analysis of the image. An academic paragraph, specially an analysis based one, should be comprised of at least 3, no more than 5 analytical sentences.

## Why is cycling not popular in many places? And how to increase its popularity. These days, owing to the existence of high-tech means of transportation, cycling is getting fader in users' minds. Despite its being considered more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport, It currently does not gain popularity. Several reasons are answering why cycling witnessed a downward trend, also, from which some feasible solutions should be taken into account. In terms of sources causing cycling's low popularity, the first main cause that should be mentioned is residents' requirement for faster travelling. Indeed, by virtue of the time demanding of the workplace as well as the long-distance between destinations, people in most fields of jobs ask for more convenient and effortless vehicles such as motorbikes, cars, underground trains, etc. Additionally, some individuals find cycling too obsolete and rustic to cycle. In fact, in the present modern technology era, human beings have a tendency of being appealed in front of stylish and fancy creatures, and the vehicle is not an exception. For instance, a wide range of users opt to purchase a costly and fashionable car rather than a common and affordable bicycle. Based on a handful of mentioned reasons, some solutions could be brought out to tackle the current situation of cycling. Firstly, increasing the price of fuel and vehicle tax might be one of the most realistic decisions during this circumstance. Therefore, users might be wavering about whether they own a bicycle as more affordable spending. For example, because of being unable to afford the tax bill, some consumers might not know what to choose but possess a bicycle. Furthermore, the government should encourage leaders of local regions to build a notice board for bicycles for users' security. Therefore, the complaint about cycling's extent of safety might be minimized. In conclusion, although cycling has numerous positive impacts on human physical health as well as the environment, the activity of cycling is admittedly no longer popular in a few areas. Answering this result is due to its time consuming and not meeting the taste of users. Soon, politicians can build separate paths for cyclists and manufacture more free-fuel vehicles to respond to the needs of the community.

Good discussion with a few grammar and cohesive discussion problems for you to take note of. The errors stem mostly from your being an ESL writer. Better familiarity with the basic rules surrounding English written grammar rules should fix those problems. It will do you well to learn about what words are non- academic. That way, you will not mistakenly use therein your presentation. Words like etc. should be avoided, specially at the end of a sentence since it cuts the understandability and discussion flow of the sentence. Always have a solid sentence close. cycling is getting fader in users' minds This more of a sentence structure error due to incorrect word usage. I understand what you want to say but have to score you down because of GRA requirements. A more appropriate wording would be: ... is slowly fading from commuters minds.

## Stress and Anxiety in the Modern World Stress is the most common mental health disease that humans have to suffer from, and there are various factors in modern life leading to this. However, there are ways to limit the potential impacts. With the rapid development of recent society, people have to face more issues than in the past. To begin with, there are more financial worries relating to the rise in living conditions. We have to pay for the internet service and security as dispensable parts of our daily life, which were in addition in the past. Furthermore, we must be under higher pressure as a result of the competitive labour market. Gaining a high-salary job is now more difficult since job requirements contain not only good quality but also huge fundamental skills. Tackling such problems will be not easy, but there are measures that can be taken. Firstly, Government should provide citizens with a safe living environment such as ensuring security and fair law. As a result, people can reduce a large amount of money and have peace of mind to live. Besides, as a way to decrease job pressure, extra job positions need to be considered as soon as possible. This provides employers with opportunities to find a suitable job and demonstrate individual abilities. All in all, although there are several causes of stress in modern life, we can take steps to reduce it and avoid being overwhelmed

The essay presentation is actually good, if I were not to consider the scoring requirements of the task 2 essay. I will not discount the fact that the writer truly understood the writing requirements and provided acceptable discussion topics in support of it. That, is where the problem lies. Beyond the enumerated topic list, the writer did not properly develop and support the topics. These were only presented as reasons, without proper in-paragraph transitions, cohesive explanations and supporting reasons, all of which should have resulted in a coherent paragraph.These are the reasons the presentation does not work despite the good reasoning topics. next time, the writer should ensure the logic and connectivity of his discussion points.

stressful life of today's kids It is true that in recent years, some parents have placed a burden on their children. In my opinion, there are a variety of motives surrounding this idea, mainly because of a universal desire to see their children succeed and I believe this situation can lead to positive influence, both on personal and social developments to some extent. To begin, it is easily noticeable that parents make their kids under a lot pressure as a way to help them achieve their goals. For example, by being forced to get into the habit of studying on a daily basis from a young age, children will be more likely to have a better future and recognition in the society. This is based on the fact that since such children are aware of the importance of learning, they would prefer spend part of their valuable time on doing homework rather than constantly play video games. Undoubtedly, with their hard work earlier in life, they will have a higher chance to get a dream job and progress up the ladder at a later stage of life. Therefore, I am of the opinion that not only families but also the society can benefit from this trend. On a personal level, this helps to form an environment motivating children to reach their full potential as a student, which lays the foundation for them when they go to work in the future. On a societal level, this will result in a well-educated workforce and in turn a more productive and prosperous nation. On the other hand, I do think that parents should not put too much pressure on them in order to avoid counter effects. This is particularly the case for Korea, where mothers always make their children study regardless of day or night, resulting in a dramatical rise in suicide levels in adolescents. In conclusion, from my perspective, everything parents do, including putting pressure on their kids, is just to ensure their youngsters have a successful career. However, only if they do it in a moderate way will it have merits on both their children and society.

It is true that in recent years This is not a part of the orginal topic presentation. The writer must keep his opinion to himself because there is no reason for a personal opinion to be presented. The truth or falsity of the statement is not in question. Avoid topic alterations as these are score deductions. desire to see their children succeed and I believe One idea per sentence. Only related topics or ideas should be in one sentence. Obviously, your direct question response should be found in a seperate sentence. On the other hand, I do think that parents should not put too much pressure This is a topic question response deviation. The first half of the paragraph supports the write' rs opinion. This portion does not. This discussion will not be scored as it does not properly support the earlier thesis statement.All discussions must support and focus on the question being asked. I believe that the writer just got confused with regards to better connecting his explanation opinions. The error was caused by a faulty cohesive presentation within the paragraph.

## In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless There is a prediction indicating that drivers are unnecessary in the future due to the development of technology. Therefore individuals inside these vehicles are solely passengers. In my perspective, this trend's merits will outperform the contrasting features. As projected, means of transportation will be equipped with various modern technical methods that allow these vehicles can move under the control of up-to-date techniques. The advantage is modernized means will be entirely synchronized, following up an arranged route, which is the fastest way as calculated by machines, this will permit the public not to concern about the traffic congestion as well as being late for the work. Moreover, another benefit of using driverless cars is this breakthrough of technology will help society lead to a world where traffic does not exist. With scheduled and well-controlled adjusting by machines, the rate of traffic collide will be less likely to happen when the speed of the cars is limited, the caution and protection system are working. For instance, whenever two vehicles are undeliberately able to collide, the directions of movement will be systemically changed so that the accidents will be avoided safely. However, there is also a demerit of this statement which is tended to occur less than the opposite one. To be specific, errors and misleading commands from the technology will perhaps lead directly to undesirable consequences or even dangerous repercussions such as a streak of unexpected accidents. In conclusion, the systemical errors will be the priority of the producers to adjust for preventing danger. It can not be denied that the advantages of this trend bring about convenience and safety that outweigh the same contrasting pattern

this trend's merits will outperform the contrasting features. Wrong word usage. The negative representation of merit is demerit. Contrasting features is not a normal representation for this essay as the phrase relates mostly tophysical features that can be compared or contrasted based on look or feel. This is a 4 paragraph essay that debates the advantage and disadvantage within the same paragraph. A seperate disadvantage topic is not necessary. The job of the writer is to prove that the opposite is true for each discussion reason in cohesive paragraphs. This essay fails to prove that ability because of the improper writing format. The disadvantage paragraph breaks the paragraph connections and is a barely developed explanation. The writer should not write more than 4 paragraphs because the writing instruction does not call for a 3 reasoning paragraph response.

## Individuals should not be allowed to carry guns as it increases crime and violence in society There are twenty states in the USA which does not require permits for the open concealed carry of firearms. Therefore, many people think that citizens should be allow to visibly carry a gun in public places, but I do not agree with this idea. The enforcement of this law increasingly popular in USA. However, I witnessed more disadvantages of open carry than advantages. Reason being is because the management authority encouter difficulty in managing criminals.This is a ideal opportunity for terrorists carry out massacre by firearms. A number of observational examples show that they bring this weapon and blend in with the crowd at the train station or square easily without being suspected or checking. As a result, dozens or even hundreds of incident people have died from such shootings. Some might claim that open carry help citizens defend ourselves against dangerous person. An criminal could break into your home and may threaten your life. If you have a gun, all you have to do is shoot the intruder thus saving your family. Howerver, carrying a firearms in fact put you in danger. Accidents can happen to you if you use it incorrectly. Considering most people that carry a pistol open do not train in weapon retention or any hand to hand combat. You might even turn into a target of police officers. For instance, although, North Carolina is an open carry state, Keith Lamont, who a black man, was killed by policeman in Charlotte after he refused repeated orders to drop a handgun. We would not be able to predict all the bad things that happen to us when we visibly carrying a firearm. In conclusion, on the grounds that open carry is a threat to public safety, the govements and authorities should manage gun ownership of people together. Moreover, prohibiting open carry is neccessary for all countries around the world.

I do not agree with this idea Why? The discussion response is complete, but the thesis outline is messing. Clue in the reader as to your reasons, which will be expanded over 2 paragraphs. The outlined response will add to the task accuracy considerations. Use connecting words to create sentence clarity. Several sentence miss-out on the use of "is " and "a", which affect the idea presentation in the sentence. This led to confusing statements being made in the paragraphs. connecting word usage is of the utmost importance in essay writing. Always use these reference work or risk sizeable GRA score reductions. The writer presents a series of valid discussion points that are easy to understand. However, sentence structure and spelling errors will negatively affect the final score.

## youngster's engagement in some volunteering tasks Young people are suggested to be involved in community work in their spare time as a chance to raise hands to help the local area. From my point of view, it certainly makes sense for youngster's engagement in some volunteering tasks with specific reasons below. From the first standpoint, not only can young people contribute their aids to arduous class, but they also reap a big number of benefits from doing unpaid work, especially strengthening their connectivity between them and society. Only by doing volunteering could the young further their experiences in their future jobs, considering this as a practicing chance. Better still, volunteering can stand out their profile application and the percentage of getting hired is higher. Through these meaningful works, youngsters are likely to count their blessings and get contentedness in life as well as self-satisfaction with their contribution to society. Moreover, on the invaluable side of the community's donations, these benefactions contribute not a small development to the general life. There are numerous unprivileged people so being volunteered will lessen their infelicitous lives. The higher the social safety net is, the more prosperous the country will be, this term has emphasized the direct proportion between volunteering and society. In addition, young people can cultivate their minds and easily to be responsible citizens by way of helping miserable walks of life. In conclusion, I strongly cling to my opinion that youngsters should contribution their efforts to volunteer work because it allows them to get a lot of advantages and have a well-rounded perspective of life.

it certainly makes sense for youngster's engagement in some volunteering tasks This is an incorrect response. The provided discussion instruction pertains to the extent of your (dis) agreement with the given topic. It is obvious that you are in agreement with the discussion points, but how strongly you support the stand is not represented. I strongly cling to my opinion that This should have been stated twice. Once in the restatement + opinion, then again, in a different phrasing in the concluding paraphrase. That is how this essay is formatted. Good job staying on track in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. You were properly focused on defending your opinion. something that will boost your score. The paragraph sentences are well connected with cohesive thoughts and coherent discussions. The transitions are unique and not reliant on textbook liamsition words. Another plus for this essay.

## numbers of divorces in Finland and Sweden The bar chart illustrates the percentages of divorced people in Finland and Sweden between 2011 and 2015. Overall, Finland witnessed an upward trend in the divorce rates, while Sweden saw a downward trend throughout the period. Both two countries had some fluctuations. While the rate in Finland was initially less than that of Sweden, it outraced at the end of the period. Finland's divorce rate was nearly 40% in the year of 2011, then reached a low-point at around one-third of the divorced cases all over the world, as opposed to nearly 50% of that of Sweden in the same year. However, it can be seen that Finland witnessed a gradual increase in the rate, reaching about 37% in 2013, then rose to the more than 40% in 2014. It remained steadily until the next year in 2015. On the other hand, the percentage of divorced parents in Sweden accounted for around 45% in 2011, outnumbered the figure of Finland by nearly 8%. It reached the peak at nearly 50% in 2012, before dropping at about 45% in the year of 2014. At the end of the period, Sweden witnessed a considerable decrease at approximately 38% in 2015. *

Both two Beware of using redundancies such as these in your essays. You will get a lower LR score because of it. A redundancy is when 2 words with the same meaning are used in a sentence. Both, already indicates a pair or 2. Two, is the numerical reference to "both". Perhaps review synonym usage lists to avoid a repeat of this error in the future. outraced The correct term to use is "outpaced". When measurements outpace one another, the verb outpaced refers to the action of having surpassed or exceeded, as in speed, development, or performance. Outracing refers to racing or running faster than another. The writer is showing a degree of unfamiliarity with English word usage. He often uses the wrong term in reference to actions within the image.

## writing task 1 - telephone calls in finland The given bar graph illustrates the number of minutes telephone calls in Finland in three different categories, over a period of 9 years, between 1995 and 2004. Units are measured in minutes in millions Overall, it can clearly be seen that all categories increased gradually throughout the given period, with the exception of the figure for local landline, which decreased over the second half. As a result, although the number of minutes in local landline remained the highest from start to finish, the gap for all figures was narrower at the end. In terms of the call category with the highest level of usage at the beginning, the number of minutes for local landline stood at precisely 12,000 minutes in 1995. The number then witnessed a gradual increase and reached a peak of just over 16,000 minutes in 2001, before declining steadily to its original level in the final year. Regarding the other two less usage of telephone calls at the start, the figures for national and international- landline and mobiles started at precisely 6000 and just over 50 minutes, respectively. The number for the former experienced a stable increase and peaked at just above 10,000 in 2004. Similarly, the number of calls for mobiles grew gradually to roughly 3,000 in the following 5 years, after which it peaked at nearly 10,000 in the eventual period. *

There is a miscalculation in the summary presentation. The chart is from 1995 up to 2004. It covers a full decade, or 10 years worth of measurement collation. Always double check your references for accuracy. The slightest error will affect the presentation and result in accuracy deductions. The measurement type is also deductible due to the cut and paste reference. You should have used alternative references for the keywords. The paragraphs need a better sentence balance per presentation paragraph. At least 3 sentences in all paragraphs produce better C + C and GRA scoring overall. Individual thought sentences in the paragraph will directly address that situation.

## The average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in four countries The graph below shows the average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The line graph illustrates the average amount of carbon dioxide emitted each individual in 4 Europe countries over the 40-year period. In general, although the median emissions of carbon dioxide for all four regions showed some fluctuation from year to year, we could identify some clearly upward and downward trends. In 1967, about 4 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide were produced by a Italian citizen. This figure rose steadily until 1997 to reach approximately 8 metric tonnes and then levelled off. Sharing the same trends with Italy, the proportion of Portugal went up noticeably 4 metric tonnes, from the starting point at 1 to 5 metric tonnes in the end of the period. By contrast, the carbon dioxide emissions for the other two countries decreased by varying degrees. There was a gradual fall in the rate of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom during the given period. This proportion began with the highest number at 11 metric tonnes, kept decreasing and finally peaked 9 metric tonnes in 2007. The most fluctuated moving was the carbon dioxide production in Sweden. There was a sharp growth from 8 to 11 metric tonnes over 10 years, but then declined dramatically until 2007 and reached the similar level as Portugal at 5 metric tonnes. *

Be mindful of the writing time deadline. Practice writing with a timer in an actual exam set-up. By doing so, you will begin to understand why the 20 minute time allowance will never result in 248 words written. The idea is to write a simple analytical report. A summary of the image information. It need not be over analyzed or presented. 150-200 words will be more than sufficient for this task. Do not mistake more written words for a higher score. This is a misconception presented by some who believe that meeting the word count or more will result in a passing score. Wordcount is only a fraction of the scoring element. It is not the only scoring basis.On the contrary, it lowers the score because of avoidable errors that were not corrected because editing time gave way to writing time. This happened several times in this essay. Quite frankly, the way this essay is presented, it is not possible to accomplish in an actual scenario. You have to learn to write in short but understandable sentences, resulting in coherent and cohesive paragraphs.

## choice from two particular foreign languages during study The bar chart depicts two languages, namely French and Japanese in terms of the number of 15-year-old students selecting to study in a particular school in Australia over a ten-year period between 2005 and 2015. Overall, What stands out from the chart is that there was an upward trend in the figure of students who decided to study Japanese while that of students choosing to study French experienced a downward trend. The most striking feature of the chart is that French was always the most popular over the period. As regards the decreasing trend, in 2005, the number of 15-year-old students selecting French to study was 13 times as much as that of students choosing Japanese to study, at exactly 130 students. After that year, the figure of students learning French underwent a considerable drop, with most of the decrease occurring in a 5-year period later, from 130 students to 90 students.Having reached a trough, that number rose fractionally, followed by a fluctuation between 90 and 98 students. Conversely, there was a dramatic growth in the figure of 15-year-old students selecting Japanese to study, from 10 students to a peak of 85 students in 2010. Despite a significant rise, it is obvious that there were considerably fewer pupils studying Japanese than students learning French. Following this, the number of pupils choosing Japanese to learn saw a slight drop, after which it varied between 65 students and 67 students. At the end of the period, this number finished at 65 students, which is 27 students less than the number of students learning French.

the number of 15-year-old students selecting to study Selecting to study what? The summary must be clear about its reference to the age group in relation to their interest in studying languages. The current presentation does not make that clear. Good work on the trending paragraph.That overview was well developed and presented. It clearly showed what the discussion flow will be about. One thing I noticed is that you tend to use value equivalents throughout the analysis paragraph. That proves to be a problem for the reader who does not have access to the image. A situation that occurred here. Without the image to refer to, I was lost while reading your presentation. Avoid using equivalents and refer directly to the numerical values instead That delivers a clearer analysis to the reader regardless of the image presence in the report.

## **In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior.** *What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?* Education is arguably the most important aspect in modern society. Not only it provides children skills and knowledge they need for their future life, it also guilds them to be an exemplar civilian that contribute to global development. Despite this, students behaviors are still the most critical issue that worried schools throughout the world, and various remedies have been address to tackle this problem. Many people hold a belief that schools are responsible for their students poor behaviors, but in my opinion, the problem lies in their family. Either they are spoilt or get neglected. In the first scenario, if students come from a wealthy family, their parents will give them everything they want regardless of price and reason. This kind of children grew up without consideration for others, and thus treating everyone as inferiors. In other words, these kids don't have to follow any rule. On the other hand, the kids that don't get enough care tend to act up for attention. Furthermore, they lacks parental guidance and more easily influenced by exterior factors such as bad friends. Both parenting styles are problematic, and if they continue, they will hinder kids moral compass. A good solution to this issue is to have periodic parents meetings or discuss the children attitude with their parents. In both situations, parents don't seem to aware of the wrongdoings, most likely because they are too busy, and should be reminded that their kids emotional and social lives matter too, not just their material one. Spending quality times with children, applying discipline and having talks about their behaviors can fix the problem, since no one other than parents have more influence on their kids. To summarize, parents presence in students lives is more important than many may consider. Lacking parents support can leads to many negative consequences in kids. Perhaps classes in parenting where parents and child learn to communicate better will come in handy in terms of raising the next generation.

The prompt restatement is over presented to the point where the author already shares personal insights on the topic. That is a no-no. A definite score deduction. Directly restate the prompt and outline the discussion in response to the question. That will only take 3 brief sentence representations. Save the insight for the body of discussion paragraphs. What you did was bigin a discussion (deduction) and fail to respond directly to the question by just restating the discussion guide (deduction). The task requirement was not addressed properly. Many people hold a belief that schools are responsible for their students poor behaviors, but in my opinion, the problem lies in their family The question was not addressed by the topic response. The question was: What do you think are the causes of this? , in relation to the students attitude at school. Focus on the responsibility of the school.This is a score down prompt alteration. While the parents may spoil the child, the school has disciplinary offices, guidance counselors, and a code of conduct that students are expected to follow on-site, regardless of how they are at home and how spoiled they are. The prior school related refences are whatusually fail. Those are the topics for cause and solutions.

## IELTS ACADEMIC-WRITING TASK 1- MAP- QT *The two maps below show the developments along Olive Drive before and after the construction of new facilities between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.* The two pictures illustrate the transformation of Olive Drive after a renovation between the years 1980 and 2010. It is clear that there were a lot of significant changes around Olive Drive: more facilities and buildings constructed. Looking at the map closely, one can see that a lot of houses were erected in front of the park to the northwest, and a new school was added on the right side of the resident area. Most of the remarkable developments were on the opposite side of the Olive Drive road. The shops which were in the bottom left corner were completely pulled down for a shopping center and a supermarket. Moreover the bank near the shops was removed and replaced with a cafe. Finally, the size of the community centre was reduced to open a bank. However, in the south-eastern part of the town there was an existence of a hospital.[R][G][/G][/R] * *

The writer opted to identify the changes based on the year representations of the urban plan and design presentations. Yet, he does not use any differentiation tools when discussing the image content per paragraph.This is the greatest inaccuracy in this report presentation. As there are 2 images, the first image must identify itself as being from 1980. The second paragraph image should hold a 2010 topic sentence as well. The second paragraph should enumerate or describe the ouginal set-up, with particular attention paid to the areas that will have upcoming changes. That way, a comparative second paragraph basedon notable changes can be undertaken. The current presentation offers a correct comparison but, is rendered useless by the lack of proper identifying markers.

## the best way of learning Today society, a number of people think that teacher are crucial for education. Many people say that student can be learn more things than learning with teacher. I partially agree with these both views because they all make sense. On the one hand, I think that traditional way of learning which have an interaction between students and teachers are really effective. By this way of learing, students can ask teacher something that they can solve by themselve. The more older teacher the more experiences that student can learn from them. When someone have a good tutor in their way of learning, they can use the knowlegde that they learn from their teacher confidently because the teacher have a lot of experience can make sure that their knowledge are true. However, it is undeniable that learning from internet and television also productively. A lot of knowledge in the internet that it even never exist in the school or a lecture of teacher. it probably betwice as effect as learning with teacher. But this way of learning just have well-qualified for good awareness person. A lot of students just use internet for entertainment purposes such as playing game, listen to music or stuff like that. In conclusion, demands of learning is really essential for students nowaday and they can choose the way of learning by their own. Both way of learning are good for a lot of kind of students and it's all help students can be get knowledge esier.

This is a failing essay had this been an actual test. The prompt restatement + personal opinion is tremendously confusing. Where is the restatement for each public opinion? These should be provided in 2 individual sentences. Why is your opinion leased on an extent response when you are not writing an extent essay? It is also more difficult to understand your discussion as you have not used the paragraph writing format to divide your discussion topics. The discussion requires 3 reasoning paragraphs or, 2 reasoning paragraphs that provide your opinion for each public discussion. From what I have read, none of the writing format requirements were met by your presentation.

## team activities teach cooperation and social skills Undoubtedly, team activities can bring about imperative skills to one's life. Some reckon team group activities rather than people payed alone. I hold same opinion toward it and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated as follows. Through team activities, people can obtain the ability of cooperation. To be more specific, people attending team activities it is need to collaborate with other people include work or game. The fact that use this cooperation skill can more effective achieve goals. Take myself as an example, when I was in primary school, I preferred to attend team activities such as team sport. Since they always made my peers and I work together in team sport. I found truly learn a lot of from this, including the ideas of cooperation. Team activities can teach people increase their social skill because frequently connect with people that realize the way how to get alone with each other. That is useful way to learn the skill of social include communication and body language. According to a study conducted by National Taiwan University, more than 60 % of social skills can be acquired in team activities, since individuals have to communicate and socialize more often to arrange their team work or play a game. This consequence result in people fully comprehends the skill of communication. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, team activities definitely teach important skills in our life. Because through team activities people can learn about cooperation and communication skill, that is vital elements in group society.

Undoubtedly This is a personal reflection of the author. It is not an accurate prompt restatement. Kindly remember that the willis opinion can only be presented in the opinion sentence of the same paragraph. I hold same opinion You cannot just hold the same opinion due to the extent nature of the response format. This is an inaccurate representation of the required answer as you do not an emotional reference to your opinion (strongly, wholly, partially, to the point that). You have provided a low scoring response. Team activities can teach people increase their social skill because frequently connect with people that realize the way how to get alone with each other. That is useful way to learn the skill of social include communication and body language. These are score deductible presentations as neither is a completely developed thought presentation. According to a study conducted by National Taiwan University, Avoid presenting sources for your data measurements. Learn to format your information in a general manner. For example: It is commonly known that... Public knowledge indicates... Due to my exposure in... I know that ...

## Benefits of Learning English Good afternoon everyone. I am Duc. Today I'm going to talk about-\*\*the importance of learning English.\*\* English is the language of International Communication, although it can not be the most spoken language in the world, but English is the official language of 53 countries and is spoken by around 700 million people across the globe. So English is a useful language for us. \*\*Firstly\*\* learning English can help the students in the study. If you study well, you will get a good score in the study, you can get an English certificate like..... \*\*Second\*\*, learning English helps us communicate more effectively and travel easily. When we can communicate with foreigners fluently, it is an opportunity for you to have a good job. \*\*Thirdly,\*\* learning English is also an important condition for you to access and update knowledge sources from around the world. Nowadays many websites are using English such as famous software, applications, most popular social networks, and newspapers, and some other information. \*\*Finally\*\* learning English helps you be active in social life, be confident in communication and always want to discover cultures all over the world. \*\*In conclusion\*\*, Learning English will be an advantage for us both in work and study and life. We can have a higher salary life, expand our knowledge and sometimes feel proud that we can speak a second language. Thank you for reading.

\*\*the importance of learning English.\*\* Are you writing a short speech or something similar? It feels like this part is important and should be written based on proper capital word usage guidelines. It would have helped to properly format this part for vocal emphasis when being read to the audience. Speeches have emphasis markers, which this presentation severely lacks. ~~although it can not be the most spoken language in the world, but~~ This is irrelevant to the discussion since you are discussing the importance of the English language in general. comparisons with other languages used internationally is not a consideration as that alters the discussion topic. The written format can use some work. I read at least 3 paragraph divisions here. The seperations will help deliver proper pause points for listening comprehension , if delivered as an oral speech.

## Ielts writing task 2 about Wild animals Topic: Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that only a few wild animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your opinion. There is an argument about whether we should protect all the fauna or not. Whilst many people believe that every kind of animal should be put under our consideration, I believe that we had better put a priority on some specific kinds. On the one hand, protecting all wild species tends to be a long-term endeavor. To begin with, as a result of rapid industrialization, the natural environment that provides animals with shelter, habitat, and food has decreased. For example, because a wide range of factories on the river's bank discharge their chemical waste into the water, the aquatic environment is detrimentally affected leading to the decline in the variety of fish. Furthermore, animals play a vital role in biodiversity and the food chain, supplying us with meat and flora with fertilizer from their decomposition. Thanks to early protection such as breeding programmes, we can halt the decline in reproduction caused by overexploitation and uncontrolled poaching, which will eventually lead to extinction. On the other hand, I believe that protecting a certain species is far more feasible and urgent. Firstly, protecting wild animals on a large scale is exorbitant for the reason that each conservation campaign and sanctuary requires a significant amount of resources and funding. Instead, we should focus on pressing challenges such as starvation and deadly diseases that many third-world countries have struggled with . Second, providing protection to multiple species that are not endangered may lead to the overpopulation of wild creatures, which could pose a threat to our survival. For example, if the number of rats, mice, and grasshoppers impairing agrarian production increases, farmers may have to shoulder a financial burden to cover the loss and subsistence expenses. In conclusion, wild animals should be protected owing to their vital roles; however we should prioritize endangered species in order to address other emergency problems.

When you are asked to give both views and provide your opinion, the writing method of the task totally changes from singular opinion to comparative + personal opinion. That means, you have to provide a personal opinion based on the public reasoning consideration for each opinion. You cannot base the discussion of both opinions solely on what you think about it. This is a writing instruction that is clearly provided by the keywords "Some people" and "Other people" providing their views, also known as an opinion. So the discussion centers on what you believe to be accurate or inaccurate reasons behind the basis of their opinion. While you did a good job of providing your personal discussion for both opinions, that is not the sole discussion format needed for the presentation. You will not get a passing score when only the personal opinion is presented rather than the comparative discussion.

## [IELTS Task1] Driving test pass rates **The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.** The bar chart compares the proportion of women's and men's driving test passed in one Asian country from 1980 to 2010. It is clear from bar chart that women have a higher proportion of driving test passed than men in one Asian country throughout the period shown. In 1980, the percentage of women who passed driving test stood at around 50%, while the proportion of men passing driving test just were under 30%. Over the following 20 years, the percentage of passing driving test both for women and men that showed an upward trend. Also, the figures of women and men succeeding driving examinations rose by around 20%. Between 2000 and 2010, there were little changes in the percentage of women and men who succeeded driving examination. The percentage of women passing driving exam fell slightly by around 2%. On the other hand, the figures of men were the same, at about 50%. *

Go for a more complex sentence structure in relation to the time measurements. Itis more impressive to say" ... covering a full decade from... " than simply . the coverage years. A little sentence structure complexity will always help your LR and GRA scores. ~~in one Asian country~~ This is a redundancy or repeated phrase. You do not have to mention the location twice. Once is enough to help you avoid being judged as using memorized phrases. If you want to mention it again, then change the word presentation through proper synonym usage. for women and men ~~that~~ showed an upward trend That adjective does not need to be used in the sentence. at created an unfamiliar sentence presentation due to the incorrect word formation / structure. The writeh just need to address some written grammar issues going forward. Otherwise, the written presentation is acceptable and may recieve a lease passing score overall.

## online learning evaluation Against the backdrop of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, online learning has been widely introduced to solve the problem of schooling disruptions. Personally, I subscribe to the belief that the benefits of such a development absolutely overshadow the downsides. On the one hand, there are a multitude of merits that online learning confers on students. In the first place, the introduction of online learning helps maintain education. In the face of the pervasive spread of COVID-19 leading to many schools and colleges' close-down, learning via the Internet allows students to continue their incomplete study in the safest way. Secondly, online education also assists pupils in building up essential skills. As students stay at home and study without the teacher's strict supervision, they are required to form their awareness of self-study in order to maintain good scholastic performance and not to miss out on lessons given by their teachers. Furthermore, they also need to learn about time management and computer literacy so as to facilitate their learning process. On the other hand, the drawbacks of this development cannot be neglected. Firstly, on account of the freedom to start learning at any time during the day, online learning makes it easier for students to procrastinate, which is likely to give rise to low educational quality. However, this drawback can be eliminated with stricter surveillance of parents and teachers. Secondly, online learning does not ensure equally-dispersed opportunities of education for all kinds of students. To demonstrate, there are some impoverished pupils whose parents cannot afford expensive digital gadgets, so they are certainly unable to keep on their study as other privileged peers. It is beyond dispute that such a method of education may arouse some kind of unfairness among school attenders during this period of time. Nonetheless, those students could join with their peers who can afford a device and study together, which enables them to get exposure to online lessons as equally as others and even . In conclusion, online learning conspicuously brings both merits and demerits to students. Nonetheless, I highly believe that the advantages of it absolutely eclipse the disadvantages for all aforementioned explanations.

Personally As this is an advantage versus disadvantage discussion, you are not obliged to give a personal opinion. In fact, you are well advised to avoid such a perspective reference as this is not a task requirementin this essay as it would have been in an agree or disagree or personal opinion essay. This will bea task deduction from the applicable sectional score. A general discussion reference is what is needed here. Furthermore, they also need to learn This reference should not have been included in this paragraph anymore. The writer failed to properly develop the topic focus,which affected the cohesiveness of the paragraph negatively. What should have been used instead is a transition paragraph that effectively introduces the next paragraph topic. It is beyond dispute Actually, there are some who will dispute this claim. Such personal opinion references must be avoided in the A V. D essays because of its non-requirement in the discussion. A neutral tone mustbe used throughout. Nonetheless, I highly believe that I assume you already understand why your opinion does not matter in this essay right?

***A survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.*** ## ***Summarize the information and make comparisons*** The bar chart above demonstrates the proportion of how people in five Australian cities bought their coffee and tea last month. As to the option of getting coffee or tea at a coffee shop, the percentage of Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Hobart accounts for half of the city residents, and the first three cities were even over 60 percent. The left city, Adelaide, reached about 49 percent, which was also nearly half of the city residents. For the choice of buying instant coffee, five cities remained in an interval of 45 to 55 percent, while the proportion of Brisbane and Hobart both exceeded 50 percent, which was 53 and 54 percent respectively. As to the last alternation, purchasing fresh coffee, the percentage of Brisbane reached merely 35 percent, which was the lowest and presented a great gap compared to the former options as well. In general, despite various percentages, almost five cities present the figure in a similar order. That is, going to a coffee shop for coffee or tea accounts for the most, except for Adelaide shows a slight difference as the first and the second reverse. At the same time, getting fresh coffee is the least preferable option among the residents of the five cities.

The bar chart above Never indicate an image position to help you avoid any referencing errors. Always assume that the reader does not see the image. Use vivid imagery to describe the measurement instead. What kind is it? How is it divided? Are color codes involved?These can all help create an enhanced imagined image descriptor. A task 2 essay utilizes summarized comparison and data points within 3-5 paragraphs. This essay is a confusing 5 paragraph presentation. The increased paragraph number did not help deliver a clearer explanation of the image data. The confusing writing skill that made the paragraphs difficult to decypher became more evident instead. Focus on understandability of information based on clearer writing styles next time. The biggest failing point of the writer is in the C + C section.

## FISH AND MEAT CONSUMPTION The line chart compares the demand for 4 different types of meat and fish in a European country over the period between 1979 and 2004. It can be seen clearly from the chart that the overall trend was downward, as the level of consumption for three of four types dropped during the period shown, at different rates. In particular, there were dramatic decreases for lamb and beef, while fish saw a comparatively slight drop. By contrast, the demand for chicken boomed, going from 3rd to the highest at the end of the period. The consumption of beef began the period with the highest, at over 220 grams per person per week. In 1984, it stayed at almost the previous same amount, after experiencing several periods of solid up and down. The figure dramatically dropped and hit its trough in 1999 (100 grams per person per week), before recovering gradually to over 120 grams at the end of the period. In contrast, chicken started in the 3rd place, with the weekly amount of 140 grams per person, but rosed remarkably and hit its peak at over 260 grams in 2002. Its demand then fell moderately until finished up in 2004 with the highest consumed level of 250 grams. Turning to lamb, a citizen in the country ate over 150 grams of lamb per week in 1979, but the demand decreased by 30% after 20 years to about 60 grams. It then ended the period at the same amount. Similarly, fish consumption slightly decreased from 70 to 50 grams in the first 3 years before stalling at around 50 grams until the end of the period. *

A task 1 essay is just a simple summary and report presentation. It should be completed in no more than 200 words. The writing time allowand is only 20 minutes. The way this presentation was completed will need 40 minutes to complete. The analysis cannot be finished within the actual time setting. The writing -tries too hard to be intricate. Relying on the over-writing to make up for logic and analysis. Exaggerated term usage takes the place of a straightforward report. Emotional presentations work only in the opinion based task 2 essays. The writer has a pretty good report somewhere in this essay. He just tends to unnecessarily expand the presentation, without time limit considerations, which is a mistake.

## waste collection by a recycling centre from 2011 to 2015 A glance at the chart provided reveals how much waste was collected by a recycling centre over a period of 5 consecutive years between 2011 and 2015 Overall , It is evident that the total amount of waste collected only fluctuated slightly throughout the period . Furthermore , paper was the most collected type of recyclable waste , the opposite was true for garden waste . In 2011 , the figure for paper waste was approximately under 60 tons , whereas the garden waste was just over 32 tons . Meanwhile , there was about 48 tons of glass was gathered which was higher roughly 13 tons in comparison with the amount of tins waste . The period from 2011 to 2013 witnessed a moderate decline in the amount of paper wasted which made this figure hit the lowest point of 40 tons , then rising rapidly to 70 tons in the year 2015 . During the same time , the figure of other waste fluctuated marginal , then stood at over 50 tons of glass , approximately 40 tons of tins and 35 tons of garden waste . *

The presentation is mostly acceptable except, the writer did not proofread the report. There is a missing period at the end of one paragraph. This created an open ended and confusing summary to the reader, who is expecting more information since the end signal for the sentence/ paragraph is not there. There should not be a space between the last word and punctuation mack in the sentences either. This is a simple formatting problem that you should have learned about when writing school reports and essays. Being a newbie, you show the potential to pass this task with a high scare. You need proper guidance to achieve that. More practice essays with proper corrections can help you achieve that.

## concentrate on one job or switching to another Switching goes has become a matter of contention. Regarding this matter, some individuals opinie that altering a career annually is of immense benefit whilst others counter this view. Personally, I agree with the latter claim. ; One the one hand, the two main advantages of job-hopping is providing more experiences and expanding the social sphere. The first noticeable merit of this is people can experience various careers. As a result, they can extend the horizon in numerous fields. Another pronounced benefit is enlarging social circles. People do many different jobs whereby they strike up new relationships with new colleagues. Therefore, this offers manifold benefits to their business and life On the other hand, switching jobs periodically entails some disadvantages such as the lack of seniority and difficulty in training Students to manage in various fields. One note-worthy downside is there are no professionals for a job. Consequently, a number of factories and offices do not resolve complex problems and produce better productions. Another Pronounced drawback is a daunting task for universities to teach students who want to do many jobs. It means that a amount of knowledge in many careers must be taught and learn. This is a formidable challenge for numerous students and teachers In conclusion, I hold a firm belief that the benefits of this trend pale in comparison to draw buchs. I opine that people should I concentrate on one job to expert at it.

The first few errors that caught my eye in the first paragraph are the LR and GRA mistakes. she writer obviously did not review his presentation otherwise, he would have seen and corrected the errors: goes= jobs . ; The semi-colon is not needed. Use only one punctuation mack at a time. You cannot use emojis in formal academic wiring. I agree with the latter claim. Since you agree with the latter claim, you should be explaining why you are convinced why your point of view is correct. By using a comparison discussion that proves both sides to be correct, your solo opinion is now incorrect and without merit. Present the other point of view only to explain how it supports your opinion. That creates 2 supporting ideas that fully develops your point of view. There will be no scores applied to opposing point of view supporting arguements.

***In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.*** ## Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. A question is consistently asked: What should we do after finishing high school: applying for college or starting work? What major should we apply for? A new alternative, 'taking a gap year', has emerged for students worldwide to cater for students in need of finding a clear path and direction. What is a 'gap year' and what are the pros and cons? A gap year is a year in which pupils engage in social activities or traveling, depending on their interests and future plans. Students often take a gap year after finishing high school and before starting university studies. Being a new concept as it is, arguments have been made about this alternative. The fundamental reason for the opposing side of taking a gap year is because of the risk of losing the student's academic momentum. Parents fear that after their children have found a decent job or caught up in a bustling, care-free life, they would stop pursuing further education. In lieu of having the credentials to apply for a stable job, students would find themselves struggling with life further on and gradually lose interest in trying hard and being stressed, affecting their future life both economically and spiritually. Another constant fear of students is that they would be a year behind their peers. The feeling of loss and confusion in lectures, the feeling of being inferior to people your age is what makes seniors hesitant when thinking of having a gap year. Furthermore, some students do not come from well-off families, which means 'affording' a gap year can be extremely challenging, so unless these students have a well-planned path, a gap year is not advisable. One factor that is usually dismissed despite its significance is the 'social stigma'. Students having a gap year are usually considered as idle or spoiled, and with these prejudices or mindsets, families prevent their children from being the victim of these comments by deterring students from any intentions of having a gap year. Criticisms and disadvantages notwithstanding, a gap year can induce considerable results. The choice of activities in a gap year is immense and diverse: ranging from extra courses and curriculums to traveling and discovering new destinations. That is to say, students having a gap year is extremely advantageous as they have more experience than those who do not. Dealing with time management, money hindrances and stress, seniors can be much more mature learning from society itself. During this year you can even find beneficial friendships that help you through life later on. A gap year may well be a wise economic solution: seniors not having money to afford universities will have the opportunities of earning and saving money for further fees. What's more, it can be extremely advantageous for your university appliances and further career path. Courses that you take part in or travels that widen your experience might look impressive on your university or job CV. At the same time, determining your passions in a gap year may help you find the suitable job or university major that you want to take part in. In a nutshell, a gap year is still a concept that is not widely accepted yet, plus it can be challenging for different groups of pupils. However, the benefits it brings is non-negotiable, which is why people should open their hearts and take their time considering the alternative carefully and considerately.

You are not writing a mesearch paper. You are writing a personal opinion paper of no more than 300 words. I bet you did not even time your writing to be completed within the 40 minute time frame. The prompt paraphrase it inconsistent with the original presentation in the sense that the discussion foundation for the topic has changed and the response is not based on the indicated response format. It changed from A V. D to a definition essay for a gap year. It is a complete restatement and opinion paragraph failure. Why is there a whole paragraph dedicated to an explanation about what a gap year is? That is not a discussion requirement that resulted in a nol-scoring discussion paragraph and discussion deviation. Discuss only as instructed or you fail the test. There is no other way to put it. Though the essay is long well developed, it will fail because it addresses anincorrect prompt. It does not deliver the discussion requirements as needed. Review the task 2 samples here to geta better idea of how to properly approach the essay.

## female's participation in sports ***The chart below shows the percentage of females aged 16-25 in a particular country who participated in sports, compared with the percentage of people who watched them in 2000.*** The bar chart compared the figure for 16-25 year-old female's participation in sports and the percentage of its audience in 2000. Overall, it can be seen that tennis and basketball were two most popular areas for both participants and watchers. Also notably, there were more people playing badminton and golf than those watching these activities. Regarding tennis, 60% individuals watched this sport in 2000, which doubled the percentage of females participating in it. This was also the same percentage for golf takers, while there was only 10% people spending time watching it. Interestingly, the figure for basketball female players and viewers was almost similar, ranging from 50% to 55%. Turning to horse riding and racing, the percentage of females aged 16-25 taking part in was the lowest, at less than 5%. It can also be seen that there were fewer females joining gymnastics than those following this sport, with nearly 10% registered. Conversely, more women played badminton than those watching it, but the difference was only about 5%. *

For the summary overview. the proper approach would have been to describe itas a comparison of players vessels watchers.That is because an analysis of the graph shows a ratio percentage rather than a percentage alone. Why is it a ratio percentage? Look at the bar images side by side, the number of players is always listed along with the viewers. That presentation made this is a ratio comparison report. You do not need to constantly remind the readers that the report is based on the female gender since there is only one sex represented in the image. However, a gentle reminder once in a while won't hurt. Just remember to use alternative references for female to remove the monotony and improve your LR score.

## Nowadays many people have to work in longer hours. What are the reasons and effects? In recent years, the advent of technology has significantly influenced to humans' life. Therefore, to keep pace with cutting-edge inventions, people seemingly have to work in longer hour than they did before. There are diverse reasons and effects have been expressed. Apparently, this phenomenon is caused by three main reasons. Firstly, property prices are higher than ever, and without help, it would be impossible for many people to pay a deposit and a mortgage. Secondly, people seem to be more ambitious nowadays, and they want to provide a better quality of life for their families. Thirdly, the appearence of new technological innovations requires humans to study and work harder to know how to control and make uses of them in an effective way. Having to work in a long-tern has two obvious impacts on humans' life such as physical and mental health. As for physical health, spending hours sitting at offices or carrying overweight can make our bodies exhaust. It is the lack of sleeping time that is responsible for having headache, losing feelings control,... People who do not sleep enough may usually be angry with everything around them. As a result, working in a long time brings many prevention to normal life. In conclusion, it is undisputed that the expansion of technology is the main reason to make people spend most their time working. In addition, if we want to improve our health, we should take more exercise, participate in sports instead of working in a long period.

In recent years, the advent of technology has significantly influenced to humans' life. This claim has no direct relationship to the question and required discussion. It should not be present in the restatement nor opinion presentation. This is a personal opinion unrelated to the discussion requirement and will cause a lowering of the sectional score. There are diverse reasons and effects have been expressed. You fail to respond to the question. Provide a discussion outline in statement form. 1 or 2 topics for each. This will prove that you analyzed the qquestions and discussion requirements thus, boosting the score for this section. The reasons and effects provided are plentiful but, these lack valid explanation development in the sense that it does not have proper examples and supporting explanations. The presentation is not cohesive enough to provide a convincing series of reasons. ontrol,... review punctuation usage rules. 2 cannot be used simultaneously. This in a grammar accuracy failure.

## the percentage of women and men who passed their driving test The chart reperesents the amount of males and females in particularly country passing their driving test during a 30 year period from 1980 to 2010 It is clear that the percentage of women who passed the test dominated while males in 1980 who succeeded in driving test had the lowest amount In the year 2000, the proportion of women had driving license reached a peak of nearly 70% while the figure for those in 2010 followed by 65%. Meanwhile the amount of women passed the driving test in 1980 just account for approximate 50% By comparing with male groups, in a 10 year period from 2000 to 2010, males who passed the test had the same amount made up just under 50%. On the other hand, in the year 1980 males had the worse results when the rate of success in passing driving test nearly 30% while the amount of males had driving license in 1990 just under 40%

First time Task 1 writers tend to limit their word count to exactly or just a little over the word count. They do not realize that writing less than 175-200 words will result in a severe scoring limitation on their part. As examinees are scored on individual scoring considerations which are used to award the overall score, it is best to write more to help increase the scoring pitch per section. Just don't go over 200 words. Truth be told, the analytical paragraphs still have room to space in terms of more logical analysis statements. The writer failed to fully develop the report analysis for reasons known only to him. There are also word choice errors ( amount = number) that affect the clarity of the statement. There is a lack of proper punctuation usage as well. The writer is not placing full stop marks (period) to signify the close and end of the paragraphs. since this is a repeated error, it will result in a failed GRA score. A severe deduction in the overall score at the end.

## benefits and drawbacks of working remotely Nowadays, because of the adverse consequences of the Covid-19 pandemics, telecommuting becomes more popular than ever before. In my opinion, there are several benefits but also potential drawbacks. In this essay, I will weigh up both the upside and downside of working at home. As people work at their homes, there are some pros that can be mentioned. First of all, working at home means people could eliminate their commute, which allows maximum use of time. Furthermore, people need to manage time responsibly and rationally to fulfil the work requirement, therefore, it will stimulate autonomy and independence in jobs. There is also a chance for people telecommuting that they can have more time to gather family. On the other hand, the house is where people find comfort and satisfaction. With the freedom to move around and take breaks whenever the mood arises so that it is difficult to focus on job tasks being done. Opposed to that, it is stress and pressure that the workplace's atmosphere brings, which will motivate people to work harder and productive. People who telecommute are more likely to isolate themselves due to the majority of time spent working independently. Beyond, staying at home for a long time leading to the electrical and water time usage significantly rise results in an increase in the cost of living. In summary, although working at home can save time and be more convenient, it also has the existing limitations. Thus, people need to take measures to mitigate these negative aspects.

because of the adverse consequences of the Covid-19 pandemics Do not make reference to current events in your restatement. The original topic is not connected to this presentation so this topic inclusion will lower the task score. The prompt restatement must be brief and refer only to a rewording of the original topic, without added information coming from the writer. In my opinion Your opinion is not deemed necessary in this discussion. In fact, you are not even prodded to provide it by the discussion guideline. This essay is a general comparison rather than single opinion essay. You misunderstoodthe writing instruction for this prompt. The first reasoning paragraph is good but, could use a better discussion presentation. More supporting information would help bring a solid advantage discussion to the front. The second reasoning statement is badly explained. There are too many topics presented in the paragraph, none of which are properly developed to create a convincing like of thought. The coherence and cohesiveness is faulty and will pull down the overall score. The conclusion is an acceptable presentation.

## summarise the information - the pie and the bar chart The given bar chart depicts the ratio of the most expected films based on types for men and women, and the pie chart indicates the number of ticket sales for each type in the USA, in 2010. Overall, it can be seen that from the bar chart, for men, action films were the most popular while romantic comedies films were the best choice for women. From the pie chart, action films accounted for nearly 50 percent of ticket sales, only five percent being other types not listed in the chart. In detail, as regards action films, 40 percent of men said they like this, while only 25 percent of women supposed that they enjoyed action types. By contrast, six times as many women liking romantic comedies as men, at 30 percent and five percent respectively. The number of men and women who liked comedies and western films was equal, at 20 percent and ten percent. Fifteen percent of men were interested in the thriller, whereas only ten percent of women liked this. In science fiction films, the number of men who liked this type was twice higher than the number of women, at ten and five percent in turn. Looking at the pie chart, action films sold the most tickets, at 40 percent, making it significantly more common than comedies, at 24 percent. Romantic comedies came next, at 12 percent, while thriller was slightly less popular at ten percent. Bottom of the list was other types of films with only five percent of ticket sales. *

Every sentence should contain only one idea or 2 related ideas. When faced with 2 images of differing content / descriptive subjects, the writer should present each image and its related subject seperately. That means, the summary should have 2 seperate description sentences rather than just 1. Do this for clarity purposes. The sentence structure for the image insuction should not be used or repeated in the exam takers version. It is not to be used as a template in the test presentation. For the trending statement, the implied measurements should be mentioned. Actual data measurements should be saved for the actual report. So, the presentation for the first image is right but, the second image is incorrect as it mentions actual data already. In the actual report, the writer should use a uniform numerical data presentation. If you start with numbers then use that throughout. That would be ideal since it makes the report easier and faster to read. It is not recommended that you spell out the numbers for speed and writing accuracy. The report is acceptable out can use some formatting changes. The clarity score will be helped if my suggestions are applied by the exam taker in future essays..

## Expenditure on Consumer Goods in 2010 The expenditure on consumed goods is demonstrated in the chart. The data was collected in France and the UK in 2010. Overall, the spending on cars was in the UK was of greatest value among all statistics while the opposite was true for the expense in perfume in the UK. The number of France in cars was 400 thousand pounds while that of the UK was 50 thousand higher. As a computer, the quantities of Franch and the UK stood at about 370 thousand and 350 thousand pounds respectively. Meanwhile, the volume of cameras in France reached 150 thousand pounds, which was significantly lower than in the UK at 350 thousand pounds. In terms of books, the figure for the UK added up to dramatically over 400 million pounds in comparison with 300 million pounds for that France. As for perfume, the figure for France and UK were calculated at respectively 200 million and 140 million.

demonstrated in the chart What type of chart? consider that this is a summary overview. As such, it must help the examiner create a mental picture of the summarized data. That means, the report must clearly identify the image type through the specific image title. The identification is not as accurate as it should be for the task. It will limit the scaring potential of this paragraph. There is also no consumer goods list provided. That quick list is necessary leading into the trending statement. ~~the~~ spending on cars ~~was~~ in the UK was of greatest value The first cancellation is because the sentence does not require the use of a definite article. The second strike through is because of the wrong use of a verb. clearly the student needs to get better at using definite articles and verbs. The essay has several other grammar will violations that will cause a failing GRA and overall score. Please work on your sentence writing skills and review your grammar lessons again. Specifically, in the areas pointed out here.

## financial lesson in the curriculum Financial management has always been such an imperative but also stressful objective for many people, especially young adult who is likely to be fraught with the troublesome issues in finance once they are on the threshold of life. Thus, there comes a sentiment of involving the education about economic survival for present-day students in the schools' curriculum; meanwhile, some people vigorously oppose this idea. As a supporter of the former, I will explain the reasons here. Firstly, it appears plainly that an independent life will certainly necessitate the ability of well financial management. Since it seems that current youngsters are making for achieving self-reliance, being early equipped with financial savvy is one of the top priorities for their future preparation. To illustrate, when children are taught how to save, manage money and develop a positive attitude towards financing, they may find it less troublesome when confronting financially unexpected life changes. Moreover, not having an early mindset about finance might establish bad habits in childhood that may lead to worse problems as they grow up. Secondly, notwithstanding its benefits, financial knowledge could be obscure to many students if it were not a must-have part at school. Even though financial know-how can be achieved throughout the youngsters' daily life or through university; however, it is not certain that every student can have a chance to experience it. For instance, to those students who study in technical faculty, subjects like finance are not imparted at all. By way of conclusion, I fully endorse the request for the school to have the financial lesson in the curriculum, considering its necessity for youngsters' future life and the insurance that it can be reached by every student.

The prompt paraphrase and opinion paragraph has deviated from the original topic and required response format. The restatement should not be more than 2 sentences, with an emotional, measured response as the final sentence in this paragraph.The error was created because the writer gave personal insights immediately into the topic rather than just repeating the original presentation in his own words. He confused the restatement with a reasoning paragraph. This is therefore, an avoidable error. As for the opinion statement, the lack of conviction and strength in the writer's point of view led to an altered response format. Providing an unacceptable answer to the question. Both errors will lead to a non-passing task score. I fully endorse the request for the school to have the financial lesson in the curriculum There was no such reference to this topic in the original prompt. Though the reasoning paragraphs fit the discussion, the writer's tendency to alter the original topic and discussion requirements are what will cause the failing score.

## data on salt intake among americans The bar chart compares two genders in different age groups in terms of salt consumption in America in 2000. Overall, it can be seen that males were the main group who consumed a large amount of salt. It is also notable that people of both genders aged 20-39 used a high quantity of salt in comparison with other age groups. In 2000, boys consumed a large amount of salt, at around 2200 milligrams per day while the quantity of salt eaten by girls was as half as that of boys. Subsequently, boys between 6 and 19 years old also took the lead, at around 3,500 and 4000 milligrams respectively. Meanwhile, the same figure was witnessed in salt intake in girls age groups 6-11 and 12-19. Male and female people aged 20-39 consumed the highest quantity of salt on an average day, at 4500 and 3100 milligrams respectively. While men who were over 40 continued to use a large amount of salt, females over 60 used a recommended adult salt intake, at 2,500 each day.

both genders aged 20-39 When writing the trending statement, avoid referring to definite information from the image. If the males consumed the most, then inform the reader about who consumed the least as well. It is all about the evident highs and lows of the image measurements. The trending statement should only discuss estimates or directional growth. Analysis presentations referring to actual clata does not have a place in this paragraph presentation. Male and female people The gender sequences wold are singular in number count. However, people is a general gender plural reference. So there is a numerical reference disagreement in this phrase. An S has to be added to the end of the singular gender reference to create the plural forms.

## energy production by source The charts illustrate the different 5 categories of sources of energy produced by France in the course of two years, namely coal, gas, petro, nuclear and other energy, starting in 1995 and the second year is 2005. Overall, it is immediately obvious that gas and coal are the major kinds of energy consumed in France, and other sources of energy generated the minimum amount of energy in France. It can be seen that an upward trend was experienced in gas, coal, nuclear and other sources of energy with the exception of petro. In addition, it is clear that coal occupied the first positions and other kinds of energy reach the lowest record. To begin with, the major source of energy: coal, standing at 29.80 percent. Then, this figure moved upward to 30.93 percent. Not only coal can be seen, but a similar trend also witnessed in other energy (9.10 percent), nuclear (10.10 percent), and gas (30.31 percent), which reached an upturn, too. Petro stood at 29.27 percent and then reached a downward to 19.55 percent.

The number of charts along with its varied information focus should be spelled out in the summary. Proper differentiation of image content must be provided to help the reader gain a better summarized understanding of the facts. A thorough review of the paragraph shows the lack of proper information presentation per image. It does not address the paragraph requirements in a passing manner. The writer has under-developed the report. With 2 images available for comparison, the writer should have written more comparative and analytical paragraphs.The requirement for 2 image reports is a 4 paragraph presentation. The correct format needs 2 analytical paragraphs. This presentation only has 1 reporting paragraph. One analpis and comparison presentation per image.

***Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health. Others believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens are healthy.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion? The mass is facing the dilemma of whether or not the authority is responsible for caring for citizens' health and diet. While some people disagree with the idea that looking after their own health and diet is only an individuals' duty, I hold a belief that both governments and residents should contribute to improving their health condition. It is undeniable that health is mainly determined by each individual, and the government merely provides them with the best advice and method to improve their health. Moreover, eating nutritious food and doing exercise regularly can enhance residents' health and avoid a number of illnesses. These days, there is a rise in the elderly starting doing aerobics or going jogging in the parks, which is essential in maintaining a healthy body. In addition, an unhealthy diet can cause various problems such as heart disease or diabetes. For that reason, the citizens should eat more vegetables, minerals and reduce the amount of fast food they consume. On the other hand, authority plays a crucial role in improving the health and diet of people. To be more specific, the government can construct more hospitals and reduce health care costs. As regards children, the government can restrict junk food on schools' menus and encourage them to do physical activities more. Furthermore, many developing countries have imposed a ban on using pesticides in planting to make sure that the citizens were provided with clean and healthy food. Additionally, there is the requirement that food packaging show the food's nutritional content. Hence, either individuals or government is capable of changing health conditions and diet positively. In conclusion, there are good reasons why people are liable for improving their health and diet, but in my opinion government assistance is partially important.

The mass The reference word is wrong. Mass refers to a body of coherent matter, usually of indefinite shape and often of considerable size. The phrase is - a definite reference /subject such as mass media, mass unemployment, mass murder, or mass shooting, in reference to a large group of people. However, the word" masses" refers to a definite large group of people, which is probably the reference point you wanted to use. Such errors create GRA deductions along with LR inaccuracies. There are 2 keywords that indicate the comparison point in each paragraph prior to your opinion. Explain the reasons behind the public support for Some people and Others believe in relation to YOUR OPINION All I am reading here is a general reference to your personal opinion based on the public topic but, not the public opinions and supporting views. A more appropriate 3 paragraph reasoning presentation was needed for the proper comparison analysis and personal opinion consideration. While the format is incorrect, the writer does show an understanding of the topic.

## Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Some pupils expressed a strong preference for studying alone while others tend to go for learning in a group. Although they both have some advantages and drawbacks, I would rather choose the former. My essay below will outline a number of reasons to elucidate my choice. There is no denial that studying alone involves some vital benefits. To begin with, unaccompanied learning helps students concentrate better. For instance, when they study difficult subjects such as maths or physics, they demand for a quiet and peaceful environment without interruption. Learning alone can provide that, so that pupils can not be disturbed whilst doing their assignment and can understand the knowledge more exceptionally. In the second place, learners are likely to be forced to think more when they study on their own. Since there is no one nearby they can ask, they have to brainstorm more. Therefore, this enables the ability of dealing with problems to improve. Finally, studying alone makes students think independently and develop their own opinion. As learners can not receive suggestions from others, no one could have an effect on their point of view. As a result, students may create their thoughts and not become a parrot. However, I do not deny that studying in a group is another good way of acquiring knowledge. One primary reason is that working in a group can help students have more motivation when learning. In particular, when it comes to a difficult problem that one person can not clarify single-handedly, then cooperating with other people may be greatly conducive. Nevertheless, I am convinced that the benefits of studying alone are dominant. To conclude, whether we study alone or in a group, it depends on our habits and awareness. I believe each student may have each way of learning that is suitable for them. *302 words.* Thanks for grading my essay!

The essay asks for your direct opinion. So the examples must be based on first person,rather than 3rd party reasons. Kindly remember that you are asked to discuss your preference. So the reasons other people may have is not totally valid in this discussion. While the "other" person benefit will be scored, it will not be as high as when you use your personal experience, insight, or assumptions. You need 2 logical reasons to support your opinion to properly address the prompt requirement. Where an A/D or" Discuss both news" instruction is not provided, none should be supplied. A personal opinion essay is based on a single point of new that supports you. The opposing side is not scorable. You need a properly developed essay and that means not discussing the opposite, unless it is to say why it is wrong and proves support for your opinion in the end.

## Popularity of different universities in Australia Two graphs above show the number of freshmen enrolled at Australian Universities and the flood of applications to the major courses offered there in 1997,2002 and 2007 Overall, the number of students engaging in these above universities had significantly increased in each period except for Queensland School. The vast majority students entered in all these leading Australian University, especially Sydney's University had the highest proportion of participants staying at approximately 15000 members in 2007 . It's nearly twice as much as 1997's level. In 2007 , the quantity of students attending Australian National University is the second highest rate , followed by the university of Melbourne and Queenland in the 2007 period respectively .As soon as choosing their desired university, Pupils continued choose their favourite majors. Most students registered engineering and business courses, whereas history's one had the least number of applications. Due to the fact that global economy is developing day by day , so engineering and business courses are the popular Majors for everyone. History is probably boring for students , so there are very few students electing. In conclusion, most pupils were encouraged to study at these leading Australian university and choose trending majors. Bar charts show by increase in the of new enrollment of university of Sydney and Australian Nation university. In addition, engineering and business remained referred courses at the top universities in Australian.

Two graphs above You did not upload an image. The reader is also assumed to not have access to the image. The sentence structure is off. It makes incorrect references to a location ( should not be included) and there is no clear image identification with regards to the graph type. the flood of applications Exaggerations have no place in a task 1 essay, specially in the summary overview or trending statement. Simple and clearly related information statements are best for this sort of presentation. By the way, you are missing a period at the end of the sentence. The paragraph is an incomplete presentation. Also missing is an acceptable trending sentence/ statement/ paragraph. The first half of the task will fail to recieve a passing score. In conclusion, A task 1 essay is a report without an opinion presentation. It does not need a conclusion. Basically this is a very bad attempt at Task 1 essay writing. You may want to read more samples and learn from them before you write another exercise for the task.

## GM foods issue Nowadays, the sale and production of Genetically Modified food seems to be more popular around the world. It can not be denied that it bring great economic benefits, but there are some serious concern about this kind of food. However, some others argue that GM food is necessary if we want to meet the demand of an increasing world population. Let start with the definition of GM foods which are produced from organisms that have had changes introduced into their DNA by using the methods of genetic engineering. It is often claimed that there are several concerns have been raised regarding this. Firstly, mentioning the effect on the environment that certain traits of GM crops might be introduced into the wild. Also, genetically modified plants grown on farms are given traits that will make them resistant to the effects of herbicides, pesticides and drought. For example, spreading of genetically modified plants beyond controlled areas to become "super weeds". Secondly, the effect on the human body should be considered. According to many scientific study, antibiotic resistant bacteria are often used to mark genetically modified plant cells. Using GM food means that people are putting antibiotic resistant plant cells into their digestive systems. Thus, this may cause to effect on the good bacteria in their intestinal tract. However, some people believed that GM food is essential to meet the demands for an increasing world population. It is applied to provide a number of benefits to producers and consumers. These consist of reduced production costs which can make foods cheaper, fewer chemicals in vegetative products because of their improved pest resistance as well as less stress on the environment due to lower need for using toxic pesticides. In addition, it also improved availability as fruits maintain freshness in seasons when they would not be normally available. These are several great benefits that this kind of food bring to our life. The second reason for continuing the GM foods is providing enough food for humans. In fact, the population is growing while food is at risk of being lacking, thus humanity wants to have livestock varieties that have some superiority in order to be able to provide enough food. For example, plants that are well drought resistant and highly resistant to pests in order to increase crop yields. In conclusion, GM foods bring a lot of benefits for producers and consumers, beside having some nervousness about environment and human body as well. In my view of point, although genetically modified foods cause several concerns, it should be continuously sale and produce because of its benefits and human demand in the world.

Let start with the definition of GM foods It is not necessary to define what genetically modified foods are to the reader. The task 2 essay is written with a specific audience of professionals in mind. This is an unnecessary and time consuming prompt deviation. Stick to the given discussion parameters from the original prompt to avoid score deductions. This paragraph, being unrelated to the task will not be scored. Only proper and relevant discussions receive a score. it also improved availability as fruits Avoid specific examples when you have presented a general reference in the paragraph. This will help you avoid being scored low on the paragraph C + C development range. The discussion topic instruction was for the pros and cons. There are only pros provided in your presentation.The essay will be given a score based on a partially responsive discussion. The overall essay is under-developed.

***Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is said that the curriculum for student need to concentrate on academic subject than many practical skills like cooking or team-working. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this statement. We can clearly see that today, curriculum are not built to become comprehensive education in many countries. The lack of practical classes are consequently made the generation which are subject to shortage of skills which are necessary to tackle with their daily problems. For instance, nowadays, wider range of adolescent have limited experience in cooking and repairing their household appliances. Furthermore, most of the youngsters are socially inept, thereby struggling to communicate and build up relationships with others. When they get adulthood, they tend be ill-equipped to deal with other issues related to jobs, families and other relationships. Besides that, the absence of encouragement in training practical skills have adverse impacts on the perception of students. In spite of the fact that the experimental skills are more essential than academic knowledge on surviving in daily life and contributing the jubilant family and happiness, students tend to have a misbelief that having academic achievement in school and steady theoretical fomulas will help them achieve dream life. This misguided thinking lead to a numerous failures in their whole aspect of future life. In conclusion, the curriculum which concentrate on academic and ignore the soft skills will cause the undesirable outcomes for young generation. Students should be raised awareness about this vital skills and effort to improve it. My essay is marked 5/9 ielts and i wonder how to improve mark in this essay. Honestly thank all people give me feedback.

The first error is in the inaccurate prompt restatement. Providing the topic restatement is one thing. Forgetting to paraphrase the reason for the discussion topic is another. Without the reason, the opinion statement fails to make sense. Then, the opinion was provided without a discussion reason foundation. The thesis statement completes the first half of the presentation. That is why the paragraph scored lesson an individual basis. As this is a first person opinion essay of the singular pronoun kind, it is inappropriate for the writer to use first person group pronouns such an "we" in the essay. That is a grammar rule error as it affects the clarity of the opinion. The group pronouns only apply to third person-group pronoun references in the public opinion sections.

## Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes Many people believe that importing foreign movies and TV programmes is beneficial for their country's culture. While others suppose that producing these domestically is a better way. In this essay, I will discuss both views and, however, in my opinion, I claim that in order to bring back many benefits for a country, the two of them are necessary. To begin with, foreign movies and TV programmes play a significant role in a country's development. At first, these foreign productions can expand people's eyes about the world. In other countries, there are other landscapes, other traditions, and a lot of other things we can learn. Their streets, their dwellings, their food, and their human. We can change the way we perceive them and make our minds more objective. Likewise, we can study and enrich our culture depending on the constant creation and evolvement. Thus, foreign shows are indispensable. In parallel, producing local movies and TV programmes are also extremely important. Nowadays, there is a section of society that does not care about the unique tradition of their country and runs after foreignism. Recognizing the reality that foreign movies are much more preferable, the local government should pay more attention to their movie industry. The first benefit is these movies are educational, we can be educated on our honorable history to nurture patriotism. In addition, in order to develop the economy and tradition of the country. The second benefit is that when a country's movie industry has been evolved, the opportunity to popularize our culture will be expanded. Hence, producing domestic movies and programmes both contribute to economic stimulus and publicizing tradition. In the final analysis, the better way for a country's culture is not only to import foreign movies or produce these locally, both of them are necessary. Please help me with my IELTS Writing essay!!!

The prompt restatement was acceptable because you had a template to base it on. However, when you are asked to formulate an original opinion, you lose control of thought clarity and sentence structure. Your personal opinion is so confusing, it does not make any sense to the examines / reader. The discussion paragraphs are all incorrectly based on the writer's personal opinion alone, as evidenced by the constant use of the first person-group pronoun" we in the paragraphs. The writer should first present a general discussion based on third person - group pronouns and then present a personal opinion of the public opinion. The essay does not fully follow the discussion requirements. Scores will not be fully applied because the discussion presentation is only partially applicable to the discussion format requirement.

## The importance of public libraries nowadays Many people assert that with the explosion of the Internet these days, various information can be easily found online, therefore there are no reasons to spend a huge amounts of money attempting to update the public libraries. However, I am in the opposition to this idea, since libraries still play a vital role in conveying knowledge to people and many of them even have historical significance. To support my view, several reasons are outlined in this essay. A very important point to consider is that libraries contain an enormous amount of knowledge about various topics, and most of them are completely true. In spite of the fact that people still find it easily to access to different kinds of information online, it is noticeable that there is still a range of unverified or wrong information from harmful resources. For instance, there are variations of articles that lie about all the historical occasions in the past and are successful in attempting to make readers believe the wrong information they convey. So maintaining libraries play a crucial role in order to help people access verified and correct knowledge. It should also be remembered that a number of libraries from different countries in the world nowadays have even become the symbols of various aspects, especially education. They also consist of the beauty of architecture from a few centuries ago, and many of them have been considered national heritages, which impresses the fact that libraries play a vital role in humans' lives. To illustrate this point, I would like to mention the library of Leipzig University in Germany, which was constructed in the 1500s and has still been in use until nowadays. Granted it is true that the Internet has brought a range of opportunities to help people access various information in a brief time. Nonetheless, it is more important to remember that the public libraries still contain significant importance in ordinary life and different aspects like art, historical meaning and architecture.

However, I am in the opposition to this idea Review the writing instructions. The writing is to be based on "to what extent" a response that you markedly failed to provide in your opinion statement. The response /opinion you provided is incorrectly based on a simple agree or disagree statement. You will not recieve full marks due to the partially incorrect response format. The rest of the discussion paragraphs are quite strong and well structured. Your well supported discussion points will help you gain proper passing scores in several sections. You have done a good job of proving your English comprehension skills. Leading me to believe that the response format error was only an oversight on your part.

## Australian exports numbers to four countries from 1990 to 2012 The graph depicts how many percentages of Australia exports to 4 different regions: Japan, US, China and India over a period of 22 years (1990 - 2012). Overall, there were upward trends in the proportion of Australian exports to China and India while the opposite was true for the other categories over the given period. Besides, China easily outnumbered all other figures during this time. In 1990, China and India received the ratio of Australian exports bottomed at just under 5% until the 2000s. Previously, this ratio of India hovered around the level of only about 1%. From 2000 to 2010, it increased significantly by about 6% before hitting a slight drop from 7% to 5% in 2012. During the same period, the percentages of Australian commodities exported to China witnessed a surge and overtook the figure of Japan in 2007 to become the largest market that obtained all of the exported goods with 28% in 2012. Regarding the other two countries, a gradual decline of about 10% was seen in the portion of Australian exports to Japan between 1990 and 2012. Meanwhile, this percentage of the US entered a two-decade period of instability when reached the highest point at 12% in 2000 and fell to the lowest point of only a mere 5% in 2010. *

The graph depicts how many percentages of Australia exports to 4 different regions This is a confusing statement as there are no categories enumerated in the line graph. Percentage points we indicated instead and it is this reference that should be made in your sentence as a reference point. A clearer reference would have been: *The line graph depicts the highs and lows of Australian exports to 4 countries. The countries that are part of the graph measurement are ...* other categories Again, no categories listed. You will lose points when the accuracy of your report is considered. Why? You are referring to non existent information. If the data cannot be found in the image, you lose points for it in 3 scoring sections. China and India received the ratio of Australian exports bottomed at just under 5% until the 2000s I am not sure what you are trying to say here. It seems like you are just making up references as you go along. Are you sure that you understand what the task is about?

*Task 2: **More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes.** ## Do you think it is a positive or negative development?* Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for people to provide their personal details online. Although this practice might facilitate a better user experience, I believe the trend is negative as people will likely be vulnerable to cyber-crimes. To begin with, posting personal information online brings lots of benfits. The key factor is that by providing the Internet with personal data, users are effortlessly able to log into some social networks or other platforms and this leads to the convenience in many aspects. For example, when consumers want to purchase any products on e-commercial websites such as Amazon or Alibaba, they can immediately order as all the necessary information for delivery had been saved since the log-in step. Furthermore, it is uncomplicated for people to broaden their social relationship and also a convenient way to get in contact with their relatives and friends. On the other hand, I wholehearted believe that putting private details on social media open a way to execute criminal activities. The first reason is the address, telephone number and any personal data can be stolen by sophisticated cyber-crimes and used for negative purposes such as scam, blackmails and so on. As a result, people whose information are leaked might have to face up with numerous consequences. To be more specific, almost victims of cyber- crimes have gone through lots of difficulties in not only finance but also health. Their entire money in banking account is took away, which means they do not have any savings to make ends meet. Morever, the victims might contract to some diseases such as autism or axiety disorders due to the financial pressure. In conclusion, despite the advantages of sharing personal information online, I hold a belief that users should be aware of the serious risks of publicising private details to protect themselves from cyber-attack.

user experience Good restatement but it should have had a direct reference to the indicated channels where the use of personal data is required. Excellent work on the personal opinion. The thesis statement really helped support the clarity of your opinion. Expect to get a very impressive score in this section. posting personal information online brings lots of benfits. There is no need to explain the benefits. The examiner already knows what there are. Your focus, should solely be on presenting 2 reasons that support your opinion. This discussion deviation will not help increase your cohesive discussion scoll as the paragraphs are now unrelated in terms off discussion focus. So what happened to your presentation? It appears that you have provided only 1 discussion related paragraph. This reduces the development of your discussion potential as further supporting evidence is required in a 2nd paragraph. You might get a low passing score because of this. Do not waste your scoring potential. You clearly understood the topic but got waylaid, and in the process, a lower score because of the discussion deviation in the first reasoning paragraph.

## Social Media on the Brain and Mind As of 2020, there are about 7.7 billion people in the world. As the seconds go on, that number continues to increase as babies are being welcomed to Earth. Of those 7.7 billion people, 4.4 billion are on social media (pewresearch.org). That is more than half of the world's population. The rise of social media began in the early 2000's. It first started off with Myspace and Facebook, then it grew to Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok (Ortiz-Ospina, 2019). With technology also on the rise, social media has become accessible to anyone and everyone. Most people have smartphones which allow them to browse the internet and go on social media whenever they please. With that in mind, an average user spends over 2 hours a day on social media (techjury.net). It makes you wonder what effect that has on a human being, living their lives online for friends, family, and strangers to see. There are numerous studies that prove social media has a negative effect on the mind and brain. In order to combat that, there needs to be more exposure and education on the effects that social media has on a person; concluding in spending less time on social media. Evidence is proving that there is a link between social media and depression. "In several studies, teenage and young adult users who spend the most time on Instagram, Facebook and other platforms were shown to have a substantially (from 13 to 66 percent) higher rate of reported depression than those who spent the least time (Miller). One of the biggest differences in today's children versus in the previous generations is that children back then were not able to spend time online and instead spent time playing outside or interacting with their friends. The connections that you make online are emotionally less satisfying and leave a person feeling socially isolated. Another issue with that is that kids miss out on reading body language and social cues which then affects their ability to socialize in real life (Ehmke). Socializing online causes a deeper sense of isolation that can lead children into feeling depressed. Fear of missing out, or better known as, FOMO is an online epidemic for children, teenagers, and adults that can also lead to depression. With the accessibility of social media, people are able to see what their friends are doing at every single second. And if a person were to go on Instagram and see a picture of their friends all hanging out, the person may ask themselves a number of questions. They may wonder why they were not invited or make sure that they do not miss another post of their friends. It becomes an addictive game of catch-up that always ends in self-deprecation and insecurity (O'Keeffe, 2011). People are then once again prioritizing online social interactions that leads to further isolation and depression. Another reason that links social media and depression "is the loss of self-esteem, especially in teenage girls, when they compare themselves negatively with artfully curated images of those who appear to be prettier, thinner, more popular and richer". Again, not only do you now have 24/7 access to your friends and family but you are now able to follow your favorite model or celebrity. Young girls are comparing themselves to people who are able to change their appearances with plastic surgery, photoshop, makeup, and money which most young people are not able to do. It sets an unrealistic standard for young girls. However, it may not even be a famous person, it could be a friend posting the best picture of themselves. The curation of a perfect image may not only make others feel inadequate; it's unhealthy. Another possible source of depression is that with people spending over an average of 2 hours a day on social media, it leaves less room for healthy physical activity. Exercise has "both a positive chemical effect on your brain reducing stress and improving mood, as well as resulting in lasting positive benefits for the brain and body" (fitnesseducation.edu.au). It has been proven that exercising causes your brain to release happy chemicals called dopamine. Being on social media does cause some sort of dopamine to be released but it is an unhealthy way to get it because it is short lasting and therefore becomes addicting. That little notification that you get or that little ping is addicting but not satisfying. Some of the ways in which social media use impacts mood could be passive. For instance, one of the most common contributors to depression in teenagers is sleep deprivation. Teenagers and children excessively use their phones and social media. Spending hours at a time on it. And as stated earlier, social media is addicting. "Research shows that 60 percent of adolescents are looking at their phones in the last hour before sleep, and that they get on average an hour less sleep than their peers who don't use their phones before bed (Miller). Sleep deprivation has a costly effect on the brain. Losing sleep makes a person moody and irritable. It can also impair brain functions such as decision-making and concentration (Costandi, 2018). Social media applications like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube are now bombarded with advertisements. Almost after every scroll or video is an ad. The content of the ads nowadays are alcohol related content. "The developmental stage of a child plays a role in the effect of commercials. Young children do not understand the concept of a sales pitch. They tend to believe what they are told and may even assume that they are deprived if they do not have advertised products" (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov). Not only does it affect children but it also affects adults in the sense that someone may not have even been thinking about drinking alcohol but they then see an alcohol ad and go out to consume some. It can lead to unhealthy habits. Moreover, alcohol is labeled as a depressant and will cause low mood and lethargy. Finding sources and data that discuss social media and the effects it has on the brain was a challenge. Since social media is new and on the rise, there has not been a lot of data collected on the subject. Social media is only a couple years old especially with the new and popular social media like TikTok who has taken over Generation Z. It is also hard to conduct studies on something that is ever changing and something that affects people of all backgrounds and age groups differently. Nonetheless, there were quite a few updated sources and data about social media and the effects it has on people. There were also articles on ways to combat social media and the effects it causes. While social media may have some benefits like allowing others to connect with each other, using it too frequently can make people feel increasingly unhappy and isolated. These negative emotional reactions are not only produced due to the social pressure of sharing things with others but also the comparison of material things and lifestyles that these sites promote. To combat the effects of social media, the main thing is to educate people on what social media really does to your mental health and brain. The next step is to spend less time on your phone. There are ways to set a timer on your phone or on your clock to limit yourself to 30 minutes or 1 hour on social media. You can also find a hobby like journaling or playing a sport to spend your time doing that instead. In conclusion, people have more power over social media than they think. It's up to them.

The introduction to the topic will be helped if a previous paragraph is presented showing the history of human social interactions leading up to the brith of social media. Without this historical foundation, the current first paragraph lacks a proper background presentation. This current first paragraph is most effective as the second paragraph as it creates an excellent informative launching pad rather than thesis statement. There needs to be a clear introduction paragraph to connect to it. Avoid using citations or paraphrasing in every paragraph. While this proves heavy research on your part, it avoids showing what you learned, understood, and created an opinion of in the process. These are elements the professor would want to learn about from you and will add to your positive scoring consideration. Balance the essay with opinion presentations and more transition statements to smoothen out the transition from one paragraph to the nest. Specially when changing topic focus.

## "Today many people are spending less and less time at home". ***What are the reasons and what are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?*** In modern days of the era, people are spending more and more time outside of society instead of using those valuable time with family. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons and the influences of this phenomenon on the public and each person. On the one hand, this trend probably is rooted in two reasons. First and foremost, people nowadays have to face up with a huge amount of works that they have to complete and hence, working overtime is increasingly become popular among workforce especially, mechanic or white-collar workers. In addition, in terms of students, the extra curriculum is an issue when on average, in Vietnam, students have to study for 5 hours at school, as well as more than 3 hours taken extra lessons with teachers and foreign language centers, cram schools, or training institutions. As the result, spending more time at home becomes too much of a luxury. On the other hand, this phenomenon has some negative impacts on not only people but also society. First of all, with each individual, less time at residence is equivalent to less time for family. Therefore, the relationship between each member is disengagement which can lead to disagreement among domestic and if worse come worst divorce is unavoidable. Whist, because of more time outside, traffic volume increases dramatically leading to environmental pollution is increasingly serious. In Vietnam, air condition has been an alarming issue mainly because of emissions discharged from a huge amount of means of transport. In conclusion, people spending less time at home maybe because of occupation and this have created negative implications about citizen's health and family relationship. please help me with this essay.

The prompt restatement could use more clarity. The word choices and sentence structure are difficult to understand. It does not appear to be related to the orginal prompt in any way. The first version relates to people spending more time outside the home. The rewrite, says people spend more time outside of society. This is a statement that contradicts the ougenal topic and has changed the discussion focus. The writer failed to correctly rephrase the presentation as he did not bother to check his work after completing the draft. There was no topic comparison check completed. people nowadays Not everyone faces the same situation. Do not use general reference statements. This sort of pronouncement is an exaggeration that does not add to the validity of the argument. Use differentiation words such as " some people" or " most people." The writer does not coherently explain himself in the paragraphs. There is a clear lack of proper relationship development between the presented topics. References are unclear and the ideas are jumping from one focus to another without a smooth transition. This creates an illogical and confusing reasoning presentation. It does not work. The essay will fail.