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## CO2 emissions per person in the UK The graph depicts the proportion of releasing carbon dioxide from each citizen among four nations over a period of 40 years Overall, we can observe that there was a significant upward trend in Italy and Portugal while as opposed, the UK and Sweden experienced a downward of CO2 emissions. Regards Italy, it started at over 4 metric tonnes at the beginning of the time but then slightly rosed to more than 6 metric tonnes in the next 10 years. Moreover, Italy constantly increased to 2 units in 1997 and maintained the same till the end which was nearly 8 metric tonnes. When we look at Portugal, the similarity was existing. At first, it was under 2 metric tonnes but then went up remarkably after four decades being peak of nearly 6 metric tonnes, three times more than beginning. In contrast, the UK and Sweden witnessed the opposite tendency. The UK was the highest contributor in releasing carbon dioxide reaching around 10 metric tonnes. However, it slowly went down to approximately 8 metric tonnes in 2007. With respect to Sweden, it fluctuated from more than 8 metric tonnes up to more than 10 but decreased rapidly to nearly 6 metric tonnes in the next three decades. *

The summary presentation is worrisome of these presentation paragraphs as you failed to deliver the minimum 3 sentence count for the summarized report. There are also missing punctuation marks in this section. Even if you combined the summary with the trending statement, it still would not have met the minimum sentence requirement for the paragraph. Always write between 3-5 sentences per paragraph. You could have added a reference to the timeline or period of measurement to help achieve the 3 sentence count, and added relevant information to the summary. While the grammar does not have perfect English, it shows some control over sentence formations. Enough control over the words to allow you to create grammatically imperfect, but understandable sentences and paragraphs. So you will not get a failing score for the essay, but it will not be a high scoring essay either. You have done enough correct work to achieve a basic passing mark.

I want to practice writing essays for the IELTS test. Hope to see your opinion. Thank you so muchhh ***Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school.*** ## What are the benefits of each system? Which is better? This is my essay: Some countries around the world allow students to specialize in specific subjects while in some other regions, students have a chance to learn a variety of subjects before leaving school. Both methods bring several benefits to children, but I believe that learning a wide array of subjects is better. On the one hand, if students concentrate on a limited number of subjects, they can have some advantages by mastering this area. Because just focusing on fewer subjects, students can have much time to spend on them. By learning, reading, or doing exercises, the young generation who are 15 years old can have a good grasp of such subjects they focus on, they thus can apply well their knowledge into practice. Further, students have a chance to spend more time on other extracurricular activities to relax. For example, swimming or playing tennis can help students relieve stress and have a good mood for studying again. On the other hand, I favour the pedagogical method of studying various subjects provides students a comprehensive education. I would argue that this system is better for three reasons. First, this educational approach helps students to broaden their knowledge in many aspects of life. History, literature can help students instill their patriotism and have thorough insights into their own culture, while maths, physics, and chemistry provide not only knowledge about science but also improve students' creativity and logic. Further, lessons that students gained from one subject can supplement another one, for instance, they can apply the way how to write a smooth essay to complete reports in Physics or Civil. Moreover, students before leaving school have opportunities to find out what they are natural talent for or what their dreams are. Because they experience many different subjects from a broad curriculum, they might know which field they are passionate about or excel at and get a tertiary education in this area. In conclusion, both educational methods bring different advantages to people who are 15. I believe that studying a wide range of subjects is a better way for students to have holistic knowledge and achieve a brighter future career.

While the writer has shown a clear understanding of the discussion topic and the method of discussion, he still missed out on the proper formatting of the discussion reasons. The presentation accidentally took on a 4 paragraph format when the requirement was that of a 5 paragraph presentation. That means, the reasoning paragraph requires 3 discussion paragraphs covering the benefits of each learning style along with the personal preference of the writer. The paragraphs should represent: - students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15 - study a wide range of subjects - Which is better? As the writer skipped on the proper independent paragraph discussion of a specific learning style, the essay will be scored on only 2 out of 3 considerations. Deductions will apply due to the missing paragraph. The essay has to be considered lacking in content development so full marks cannot be awarded for task completion.

**Question: It is said that today, students send too much time attending tutoring classes after school time, which prevents them from developing their ability to study by themselves. ## In about 200-220 words, give the advantages and disadvantages of attending tutoring classes.** Living in a modern world with new changes happening every day, students are inclined to study hard to catch up with the present pace of the world. Besides their parents want them to study well too. That's why more and more tutoring classes appear to meet this demand. At first tutoring classes are supposed to be very useful but gradually there are some disadvantages of them because students spend too much time attending tutoring classes. For starters, we need to study the advantages. First of all. it helps us to enrich our knowledge of the lesson. At school, a period lasts for about 45 minutes. It's such a short time that the teachers can teach the whole lesson clearly and the student can't understand them deeply either. At that time tutoring classes will help to solve this problem. Next, if a student can't learn by himself or herself, that student won't make any progress without the help of the teacher in tutoring classes. For example, it is you who don't attend extra classes, what will you do if you can't understand a lesson or you still can't solve a problem after a long time of thinking? I'm afraid that there won't be any efficient ways other than attending tutoring classes. The teacher will have more time to explain the lessons to you and you will also have a chance of asking him or her to help you with difficult problems. In addition, attending tutoring classes is sometimes harmful especially when you spend too much time on it. It makes students dependent on the teacher, not voluntarily doing the exercises by themselves. They just expect their teacher to help them, and then all they have to do is to learn by heart. In the beginning that knowledge can't do in the mind but a certain time later all will definitely disappear and they won't also understand anything. Plus it prevents students from developing the ability to learn on their own but studying by themselves is important because it helps to develop a lot of relevant skills besides being good at some subject. Around me, there are plenty of students who attend extra classes so much that they don't have time to study by themselves. I notice that that the similarity of these people is that they can only do the exercises which are the same as those their teacher in the extra class taught them. They can't find any other ways for those exercises. It's a problem. In short, attending extra classes brings about lots of benefits but if you spend all your time just attending extra classes, you will get into many troubles in the future. Apart from attending tutoring classes, spend more time studying by yourself and you can make more progress than ever.

Although this is not for a TOEFL or IELTS test, the same essay writing rules apply to the formatting and discussion presentation. That means, the student must follow a 4 paragraph presentation format. The reason that the writer must get used to writing in paragraphs is because individual topic paragraph formatting helps the reader gain clarity of thought and insight with regards to the writer's opinion and explanation presentation. These specific topics, the advantage and disadvantage, must have individual paragraphs give the writer a chance to properly and completely deliver his thoughts. It will also provide a scannable essay, making it easier for the reader to find the topic that he wishes to read at any given time. The student began the reasoning by using numerical ordinals, which is out of place in an A/D essay. The reader tends to look for the second numerical ordinal reason, which never came, thus further confusing the format of the discussion. It creates a confusing format for the presentation. It is best not to use numerical ordinals and instead, use topic sentences that clearly indicate an advantage or disadvantage topic. The correct keyword usage at the start of the separate paragraphs would help the student that type of clarity.

## One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer Nowadays, thanks to the development of medical care the living standard of people are increasing progressively especially the human's life expectancy. While numerous people think that it will make a big problem in government budget but on the contrary I think it is more likely to have positive impact on our live. It can not be denied that the effects of improved medical care on people live is really enormous. It helps us to have longer longevity with a healthy lifestyle. Therefore, the elderly can live a life with a comfortable mood and they no longer become a burden for their children. For instance if the elderly don't have a good health they must be based on their children in every aspect so their children can not be focus on their work properly. Moreover, if the elderly people can live longer in an energetic way it is also possibility for them to contribute to the country with their knowledge and experiences. Hence, the budget is not a huge concern anymore since the governments are be able to increase the retirement age. For example after a really long time a scientist, a teacher.. may discover something breakthrough in their career and greatly benefit the country, that's the conclusion after many years of work. Besides that, increasing the retirement age also brought the country out of the shortage of manpower. In summary, the consequences of developed medical care are a jump up in our society nowadays. Due to the advances in health services our longevity and life expectancy are now capable to a new level.

The writer has taken a general discussion approach to this essay. It is understandable why he may do that since he read only the topic sentence of the prompt. The general topic does require a general discussion as presented here. The problem, is that the discussion aspect of the prompt does not use a general opinion format. Rather, it uses a comparative discussion format based on the question: Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Seeing as how the writer did not address this question in his opinion + thesis statement, and the essay does not directly relate to the question either, the writer will receive only minimal scoring for this presentation, preventing him for receiving a passing score due to an irrelevant discussion response. This occurred because the writer did not read the whole prompt. He only read the general topic and assumed that was the total discussion, which it wasn't.

## CAMBRIDGE IELTS 13 TEST 1 WRITING TASK 1 - ROAD NETWORK The two diagrams illustrate the number of changes in the way people got to a city hospital from 2007 to 2010. Looking from an overall perspective, the three main differences in the road involved more new roundabouts, the divided car parks and a bus station. Looking first of all at the two new roundabouts. From 2007 to 2010, the first one was constructed at the intersection of the Ring Road while the other one was located at the four - way junction of the city road and the hospital road. Furthermore, the bus stops in 2007 were all removed to build a new bus station that linked up with two roundabouts at the western side of the hospital. In addition, there were a change in the car parks by the year 2010. A new car park was excusively built for the public at the eastern side of the hospital while the old one was for staffs - only.

Good work on the use of alternative keyword maps as indicated in the original diagram. The use of alternative words will result in a higher LR score as you show a definite understanding of various English words that could refer to the same meaning or, in this case, image. However, the image years do not indicate a continuous count from 2007 to 2010. The reference should have been in a comparative form for the 2 years instead as those are the focal points of the image comparison. Consecutive year comparisons are normally used when discussing or comparing graph images. The creative use of comparison representation in the reporting paragraphs are well developed. However, the second paragraph could have used a liitle more comparison development to add to the context of the report. The analysis is rushed and should have been better presented. The last paragraph has a better analytical and comparative development. Overall, this is an acceptable piece but the berevity of the presentation could prove to be a score breaker at only 156 words. You should try to develop more presentation sentences. The better scoring task 1 essays have at least 175 words, but no more than 200 in the report.

It is undoubtedly true that living in an ideal society has been dreamt by all people throughout our whole history. A perfect society is defined on an influx of factors and individuals have their own vision of what their ideal society should look like . In this essay, I would present two main significant elements that are required in a world that everyone desires to live in. The first but also prerequisite factor of a desirable society is that education is free to every individual and it goes without saying that education is utterly of paramount importance in this day and age. It is well known that illiteracy is one of the main factors which serves as a stumbling block in the advancement of a nation and render that country under-developed .Africa,for instance, is currently still a under-developed and impoverished country compared to other nations in the world due to the fact that government invest too little on education and the majority of its population cannot afford for formal education. Hence, I strongly believe that if education is made free, all citizens in the world are provided equal opportunity to go to school. As a result, they will get a good command of essential skills and acquire enough knowledge , thus landing a good-paid job in the future and having a much brighter life . In addition to that, a perfect world that everyone always long for is the place where war, terrorism or conflict is non-existent. This is because war is synonymous with destruction, death and it also causes mankind to separate with their loved ones and live in horror . This can be illustrated that in the past, a plethora of unjust wars broke out, World War II is a case in point, which killed millions of lives and caused countless losses to humankind. On top of that, it left the victims of these unjust wars with psychological trauma and wounds which can never be healed. As indicated above, it is apparent that peace acts as a deciding factor in creating a world that everyone dreams of living in. To encapsulate, I would conclude that, besides other factors , free education and peace are still crucial components of a worth-living world and each of us should join hands to build such a truly desirable society.

The writer has over-written this essay with almost 400 words in the presentation. This type of presentation is unrealistic and cannot be met during the actual test due to time constraints. The writer has simply gone overboard with his writing, with complete disregard for the timing considerations of the task. This is the main reason that this essay will fail in an actual test. Too much discussion means the writer will run out of writing time and end up with an incomplete essay, which will automatically get a failing score. The writer must learn proper time management within the alotted time frame. The writer has also made a claim of absolute certainty in the first sentence, which is not a part of the original presentation. Rather than simple restatement and direct question responses, he instead began to discuss the topic in the incorrect paragraph. Another error that will lead to a failed test score.

***Q: More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? A: There is no denying that the number of obesity in humans is increasing dramatically day by day. according to experts, the solution is to impose a higher price on fast foods. To some extent, I agree that this is a brilliant suggestion, while I also believe that this isn't the only way that we could think of. It is true that rising food prices tend to create hesitation when a person is about to purchase it. In light of economic hardship, people need to consider carefully before any payment because money doesn't grow on trees. And when it comes to fast food which is obviously not human stable food, consumers will probably choose to not buy it anymore once the cost is increased. another explanation for the mentioned fact is that people are accustomed to buying fast food at an affordable price. This sudden change is likely to curb the craving for junk food among eaters. However, pushing the price is not the only solution that we could come up with. One another viable remedy that I could think of immediately is to raise the awareness within individuals about a healthy and fitness body. For instance: encouraging citizens to exercise daily or go to the gym if they are not able to do it themselves. Exercising or gym is not only helps overweight people to get their desired body but also improves their health from the inside. For example, running, swimming is both great ways to burn fat and build muscle while bicycling makes your legs more flexible. All in all, there are various recommendations to reduce the seriousness of overweight that people can refer to alongside increasing the fee. That said, humans' consciousness is still the most crucial factor in the process. In conclusion, I'd like to send to all the fat people out there: what you need to do right now is to forget about that bowl of French fries and get up, do something active and be more patient with the result

The writer has not provided a simple restatement of the topic. When rewriting the topic presentation, the personal opinion presentation or any other information reference must be avoided as it changes the original topic projection. When the topic representation carries added information, the examiner will have no choice but to reduce the possible score for that section since it is no longer in accordance with the original content presentation. To some extent, I agree that this is a brilliant suggestion while I also believe that this isn't the only way that we could think of. The extent response is correct but not properly formatted for the presentation. Consider that the second half appears to run counter to the measured response and you will understand why the score will be faced with deductions. Had the writer framed this as " I agree that this is a brilliant suggestion to the extent that this isn't the only way..." then the writer's opinion + thesis statement would not appear to be contradicting each other. The concluding paragraph must not contain additional discussion presentations anymore. It must only restate the topic, writer's opinion, and reasoning subjects. When new information is included, it will not be given a score and will instead, force deduction upon the concluding paragraph due to incorrect discussion format problems.

***Task 2: Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? In this day and age, science serves as a powerful tool to prosperously improve the world. Therefore, some people face a dilemma about the question of who should take responsibility for scientific research. While some individuals believe that corporations should carry out scientific projects, I agree with those who think scientific experiments should be supervised and funded by the state. There are two underlying danger factors when the private company controls science. First of all, they may be lured to make inaccurate experiments in order to maximize profits. They might manipulate the results which can bring benefits for them or boost the sale of companies' products. For instance, some chemical corporations want to enlarge their revenue so that they produce adverse pesticides in order to kill insects, worms, or ladybirds as much as possible. They can lead to the imbalance of the ecosystem and push some tidy animals into the verse of extinction. Secondly, if genetic engineering is carried out by corporations, they can not ensure the quality and ethical perspective. For example, private companies might produce genetically modified crops and these plants have some unproven effects. However, they do not take responsibility for their mistakes and nature might meddle. On the other hand, it might be essential for the government to supervise scientific research. Firstly, government decision-making is the best way to prioritize the expenditure on specific areas of research and do not break into new markets. Given renewable energy as an example, the development of this clean energy can foster the standard of living and reduce contamination. Last but not least, the state's budget is large so they can allocate their revenue to scientific experiments annually. This can attract excellent individuals who contribute their talent to make useful products. In conclusion, science is instrumental for the world. If the private corporations can control, they might use it to collect money and bring negative influences. Therefore, the state is ideal to carry out science experiments because of their large subsidy and prosperous values.

In this day and age, The writer must remember that the paragraph needs to contain only basic information to meet the restatement + opinion requirements. The one thing that it must refer to is the personal opinion of the writer. Yes, a thesis statement is an opinion representation. However, it does not go into a detailed discussion yet. That is the problem with this presentation The first sentence is the writer's personal opinion, which altered the topic statement and thus, will result in deducted points. Good work on the thesis statement though. The first reasoning paragraph is unnecessary and will not be helpful in the scoring of this essay. That is because, the essay requires 2 supporting reasons for the writer's opinion. The explanation supporting the opposite point if view us unwarranted and will not be considered as a part of the C+C considerations. That paragraph creates an under developed reasoning presentation instead. it might be essential Points lost for lack of conviction and convincing reason for the writer's opinion. The opinion went from clear and assured, to uncertain. Which means the overall discussion is not projecting the clarity of the writer's opinion. The main score is based on the strength of the writer's reasoning presentation. Any points of uncertainty adversely affect the score.

## travelling to work in Houston, Texas The table and the bar chart illustrate the percentage of travelers using different commuters to work in Houston, Texas, their average ages, and how much carbon dioxide do the transports produce. People who use public transports such as cars or trains/buses have a higher percentage, between 37 and 48. On the other hand, sharing a car to go to work is only 11 percent. While cyclists and walkers have the lowest percentage, which is 4 percent. People who go by trains or buses, at 47, three or four years older than using private cars. However, travelers using private cars, are 43-44, four or five years older than those who use cycle or go on foot. Commuters which are cars for driver-only produce the most carbon dioxide. People using public transports and cycling/walking produce a tiny amount. Overall, cars with just a driver are the most common means of transport to work and cause more pollution than all the other means of transport combined.

Although you wrote 163 words, way above the basic requirement, you have not done a good job at analysing the images provided. You also did not follow the correct presentation paragraph format for the report. There is no clear summary indicator nor trending statement which further adds to the failing score consideration for this report. Kindly remember that when 2 images are presented for analysis and reporting, the writer is expected to present a 4 paragraph essay covering: - Summary + trending statement - 1st image analysis - 2nd image analysis - Comaprative analysis of the two images When this presentation format is not followed, and a compressed report, which is obviously written without regard for clarity, the exam taker is risking receiving a failing score. This essay, will definitely not pass the test.

## the dilemma of all mankind Currently, besides the covid 19 pandemic, humanity is still facing the problems of global warming. It is gradually becoming the dilemma of all mankind to solve. This essay will discuss the cause, effects and some possible solutions and what governments and individuals can do to address these problems. Global warming is the rise in the average temperature of the earth due to an increase of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. The reason why this happened is carbon dioxide emissions from the burning of fossil fuels, deforestation for farmland, wood and paper and the use of chemical fertilizers on croplands, ect. Last year, forest fires frequently occurred in countries around the world such as Australia, Spain and Greece. This threatens the lives and habitat of many many kinds of animals as well as humans. It gives rise to ecosystem imbalance and extinction of some species.This partly shows the serious consequences of global warming. However, we still have many ways to restrict global warming. First, the government must forbid and severely punish the factories and organizations which dump toxic waste into rivers, lakes or sea. Second, they can encourage citizen to use public transports instead of motorbikes or private vehicles. Last but not least, one of the most important things to reduce global warming is people's awareness. Individuals have a responsibility to protect the environment and make a contribution to decrease the temperature of the earth by using reusable bags when going shopping instead of using plastic bags to contain food or groceries. In conclusion, global warming is man-made; therefore, we have to take the responsibility to reduce it to the lowest point. But, the issue can be resolved by everyone in the world and individuals must understand the harmful impact of global warming.

Currently, besides the covid 19 pandemic, The scope of this essay should cover only a general analysis of the provided topic, global warming. This should not include references to other situations such as the pandemic. The writer must restate the prompt as provided. No embellishments, no additional subject references. Avoid restatement alterations as such actions will lower the TA score. This essay will discuss The examiner already knows what the instructions for writing the task are. There is absolutely no need to repeat the writing instructions. There will not be any score applied to that section. What he is looking for are references to how well you understood the discussion requirement through your straightforward responses to the questions or writing focus targets. Such a non-answer reference will further reduce the task accuracy score of the first paragraph. Global warming is the rise There is no need to define global warming. The writer needs to only provide the valid cause and solution discussion in this essay. The reason why this happened Do not list several causes, focus on one or two related causes instead. Remember that you will be scored on the clarity of your explanation and validity of your solution presentation. Do not keep writing just for the sake of writing. The response loses meaning when you do that. The essay is over discussed. This is only a 4 paragraph essay, not a 5 paragraph representation. Even with the 5 paragraph presentation, the writer has not provided well developed explanations in the parasgraphs. His focus was only on the word count rather than the quality of the explanation and the validity of the responses.

## Caribbean island tourists This is my task 1. Please check it for me. Thank you. **The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The line graph illustrates how many tourists made a visit to an island in Caribbean from 2010 to 2017, measured by millions. Overall, the total travellers who went to the Caribbean island saw an upward trend, which was the result of increases in the amounts of visitors who stayed on both cruise ships and the island. It is also noticeable that the figure for cruise ship tourists surpassed the island one from 2016 onwards. Starting from 1 million tourists, the number of Caribbean island's visitors grew gradually to approximately 2.8 in 2015, before remaining unchanged in the next year. Then, the figure increased dramatically to 3.5 million travellers in 2017. Traveller numbers staying on cruise ships first fluctuated in the range from 0.25 to 0.5 million between 2010 and 2013, and then saw a gradual rise to 2 million visitors in 2017, surpassing the number of tourists who stayed on island in 2016. Meanwhile, 0.75 million tourists decided to stay on the island in 2010 and 2011, with a subsequent growth to its peak of 1.5 in 2013. In 2015, the figure declined slightly to 1.25 million after two years of remaining stable, and then grew again to 1.5 in 2017. *

Okay. The most effective summary overviews are always written within 3 sentences covering the topic, high trend, low trend information from the graph. The summary presentation of the information is acceptable enoigh. However, the trending information is too much. Rather than just being a summary of the measurement graph, the writer opted to present a comparative discussion already. Something not done in these areas of the presentation. The writer was given one image to represent in the report. That means, the paragraph number should not exceed 3 covering the summary + trend, data analysis, and comparison presentations. This is the reason why I said that the trending overview was overkill. It went into areas of discussion meant to be in the other 2 paragraphs. There is a demarcation line for information in these presentation paragraphs. Every paragraph has a purpose.

## The negative perception of toward tourism Recent years have witnessed the proliferation of global tourism in disparate parts of the world, yet many inhabitants contend that this industry can trigger some disadvantages to their nations. Some explanations for this phenomenon will be put forward before certain appropriate ways of dealing with it are suggested. The negative perception of indigenous people towards tourism could be ascribed to a number of reasons. A major cause is that the huge influx of foreign travelers is often associated with environmental issues. It is common to observe visitors throwing wrappers, cigarette butts and other rubbish in public areas without considering the permanent consequences of their actions. In addition, air contamination is inevitable, which stems from the growing demand for transport between tourist sites. Another contributor to the negative attitude of dwellers is the likelihood of spreading infectious diseases into the society. For example, in Thailand, recently, a couple traveling from Belgium is responsible for a large- scale community transmission of Covid-19, with positive cases increasing beyond the control of the government. Several solutions could be taken to cope with the situation described above. The most practical measure is to elaborate that international tourism would bring about enormous advantages for native people, therefore offsetting its remaining drawbacks. For instance, the authorities may levy taxation schemes on tourism- related services, and then spend this tax on public amenities or building a better welfare state. Another legal remedy is that there should be heavy restrictions imposed on those who pay their visit abroad. To illustrate, holidaymakers will be required to be fully vaccinated and carry out medical checks before commencing their adventure in the host country. In conclusion, international tourism receives criticism owing to its irreversible damage to the environment and residents' concern over widespread epidemics. This phenomenon can be addressed by making the locals directly benefit from global tourism and implementing stringent regulations on the entry of foreigners. P/s: I'd be very grateful if you guys could give me a band score for my essay. My teacher in class just gives us feedback on mistakes but not grading my assignment. Thank you very much.

The reason your teacher only gives feedback and not a grade or score for your writing is simple. The teacher does not want to mislead you into thinking that you are at a writing level of a particular band score when the examiner may assess you differently during the actual test. The best we can do as consultants is offer you potential scoring results based on the indivual sections. The idea is to present you with the clear reasons why you should focus on specific areas of development in your writing. Not to give you an idea of how you might score during the actual test. That service however, is done privately at this forum rather than in public to protect the student from public scrutiny. That is also the reason why we do not allow fellow students to publicly score other students. Fellow students do not have any actual training that will allow them to properly assess your work. The first problem with this essay is the word count. You must never write more than 300 words for the Task 2 essay because of the 40 minute writing limitation. Since you have to make sure that you have time to review, correct, and perfect the explanation you are presenting, you must never write more than this number of words. Additionally, longer essays tend to create forced errors on the part of the student. You will make more GRA, LR, and C&C errors because of the mistaken belief that longer essays will score better. It actually has the opposite effect. Longer essays could force a failing score that could have been avoided with a shorter piece. The next reason that this essay is in error is because of the missing thesis statement. Notice the direct questions being asked in the prompt? These are meant to direct the clear writing of your essay by forcing you to summarize a response to each question. Thereby creating topic sentences and writing guides for the 2 reasoning paragraphs. The essay actually does not meet the writing requirements in the TA section because of these missing responses. You also changed the topic from "bad thing for their country" to "disadvantages" which is an incorrect discussion basis. The wrong keyword synonym was used, causing a lowering of the LR score. There are even more problems with this essay that could be pointed out but I need to shorten my review at this point. All I can tell you is this, the paper you have written will not recieve a passing score. If you want a point by point review and possible scoring reference for this paper, then you will have to contact me privately for it.

## nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything online The advancement of technology has changed our lifestyle significantly, even to the way we up to speed the daily news or the way we absorb new knowledge. Some people believe that purchasing printed magazines or books soon be dispensable since we can read all the information from online sources for free. I completely disagree with this statement and I will illustrate some reasons in this essay. On the one hand, some documents related to politic or the government or laws must all be written or printed on papers. As they are the important evidence of an event or a lawsuit, which may be easily edited or deleted by hackers if they are share on online websites. Incorrect information will lead to several misunderstandings and some severe arguments, which later deteriorate the situations. On the other hand, lack of mobile phones or contemporary gizmos is also a vital reason. People from poor countries or who have financial difficulty cannot afford for any Internet-connected devices. For instance, many people who are homeless or living in slum rarely have enough money to pay for their daily living expenses so they do not really consider about buying a phone. Therefore, online news cannot replace printed newspaper books because not everybody is able to read things online. In conclusion, I believe that although reading things online maybe more convenient than traditional manner, printed books and newspapers will never be replaced by them. Since printed documents play a crucial role in our society and worth more values, they are always essential as a source of information in today live and in the future.

The first sentence is a personal opinion of the writer that is not related in terms of restatement requirements to the original topic. This should not be present in the prompt restatement + opinion paragraph. This particular section, based on the original presentation is only a 2 sentence restatement. One topic restatement and the extent opinion of the writer should comprise this paragraph's requirements. So only the last 2 sentences will receive a score while a deduction will be applied for the inclusion of the first sentence. As for the reasoning paragraphs, only one of the 2 presentations will recieve a score. That is because the response format chosen by the exam taker is incorrect. He opted to use a comparison format when the essay is a single opinion essay only. As a single opinion essay, the 2 paragraphs must offer strong supporting evidence for the writer's extent response. No deviations or change of opinion midstream. The examiner will only score the supporting reasoning paragraph. Deductions will again be applied for incorrect response formatting. The essay will also be considered lacking in development due to the missing 2nd supporting discussion. The essay is well on its way to a failing score at this point.

***In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people*** ## Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? There is a common trend that people in some countries prefer purchasing to renting a house. This essay will highlight both the positives and negatives that result from this approach. On the one hand, there are two possible advantages that owning a home would bring about. The first is the sense of comfort when being a house owner. It plays an important role in urban life. This is because people renting a home would concern about many problems related to monthly utility fees, house modification, and their landlord. They might have difficulty coping with financial burdens and having a good relationship with their house's owner. Another significant positive which should be highlighted is that people do not know what life holds in store for them in the future, hence owning a home in a long term appears safer than renting accommodation on a temporary basis. In fact, it has been proven that they can have settlement to concentrate on work or family. Nevertheless, there are some obvious disadvantages that would arise. The most obvious is the costs for home maintenance and repairs can impact savings quickly. This is because people tend to set a budget for unexpected home repairs which helps to ensure that they have enough money to keep their home safe and in good working order. Besides the home maintenance and repairs, homeowners may face many risks like certain disaster areas where tornadoes, hurricanes, and floods are common. In deed, it is definitely unpredictable, but purchasing or building a house a few hundred feet from ocean might easily lead to catastrophic consequences with no one to blame except their temptation to own waterfront property within incredible ocean view. In conclusion, there are plus point to be a homeowner regarding to the sense of comfort and safety. However, the downside would emerge consequently in terms of the cost of home maintenance and place

There is a common trend This is a prompt misinterpretation. There is no reference to a developing trend in the original topic basis. It only indicates that it is a common practice. This shows that the writer has a problem with English comprehension skills. The "trend" may be a writer's personal opinion and therefore, should not be included in the prompt paraphrase section. This essay will highlight both the positives and negatives that result from this approach. The writer has just failed the essay. His task response has not met the question response requirement. It also does not meet the discussion format considerations. The question is asking the writer to write single opinion response to the question. He cannot use a comparative discussion format because the question is asking him to explain why his chosen opinion is the correct opinion for this question. The writer will get a failing TA score at this point, making it difficult to achieve a base passing score since there are tremendous task deductions that will be applied to the preliminary score. There is no clear writer's opinion presented based on the discussion requirement, which is the primary reason for the failing score of this presentation.

## funds for transportation development In our modern world, transportation has received attention from the public. Many people claim that the authorities should invest in high-speed transportation; however, others believe that the government should focus on other aspects, such as cost or the environment. While I agree with the former idea, I do believe that further investment in other priorities should be made first. On the one hand, there are several reasons why providing citizens with faster forms of public transportation has brought about benefits. Firstly, it enables people to commute to work quickly and effortlessly, which leads to an increase in work productivity. For example, employees can go to work on time, or students can have more leisure time to revise lessons before class. Furthermore, by adopting this method, people are less likely to be packed with cramped and hot buses. We do not have to leave home very early to get a seat on a bus. As a result, we will have more time to prepare or enjoy breakfast with our family. On the other hand, I believe that other aspects should be paid attention to. From my perspective, the major priority is the decrease in the price of public transport, which facilitates commuters who have low income. Additionally, the more significant issue is environmental degradation. If we only pay attention to outlay on transport and do not focus on the environment, numerous concerns will happen. For example, exhaust fumes emitted from vehicles exert a detrimental effect on the atmosphere, which makes people susceptible to diseases such as coughs or respiratory-related diseases. As a result, environmentally-friendly vehicles should be invested by related agencies and bodies. In conclusion, although faster means of public transport should be developed by the authorities, I do believe that spending money on other urgent issues such as the environment or cost is more crucial.

such as cost or the environment You have added personal information to the topic rephrasement. This has changed the topic focus for the essay and affected the accuracy of your topic restatement. The topic restatement is a failure. Your personal opinion response is also incorrect since you are using an extent essay response in a single opinion essay that requires you to discuss both views and offer a solid single, rather than comparative opinion. Opinion statement failure. This essay requires that the writer know how to explain the reasons for certain public opinions based on a public perspective, while offering a personal opinion for each public option. That is the response format that most adheres to the prompt requirements for the discussion. The writer has opted to use a personal opinion throughout the essay instead, thus not following the expected response format. The writer has shown an unfamiliarity with the prompt formatting requirements at this point. He has not provided an essay that would get a passing score. He must familiarize himself with various response prompts and response formats prior to moving forward with his practice tests. Without that familarity, he will be unable to deliver the correct restatement, opinion, and discussion requirements to achieve a passing score.

## Is oral communication more powerful than written communication? Oral communication is believed to be more important than written communication. I totally agree with this statement, and this essay will explain why. People, who disagree with the idea that spoken communication is more beneficial than written communication, may argue that written communication is more accessible, as messages can be viewed anywhere. However, while it can be true in the day of old when letters are still the dominant way to get in touch, time has changed advanced technology nowadays allows users to communicate regardless of time and space; for example, within a click of mouse, people can make a video call through Facebook or other online apps to have a conversation with business partners or their friends and family. Therefore, with the help of technology, oral communication is becoming more effective than spoken communication. The reason why I am on the side of this idea is because spoken communication requires direct interaction between speakers . Therefore, the negotiation of meanings during the conversation will be facilitated, which is crucial for mutual understanding and reaching the decision. Such a thing can still be achieved in written communication when writers devote time and effort to convey the meaning of the message to readers by using precise grammar and vocabulary . However, this process can be simplified in face-to-face communication with the help of direct connection; therefore, oral communication is more efficient than written communication. In brief, it is much easier and more convenient to express ideas through spoken communication; as a result, oral communication plays a more vital role than the written ones in our life.

and this essay will explain why. Remember that the task accuracy score will be based on the clarity of your opinion. Therefore, when you say "this essay will explain why", you are missing out on increasing your TA score based on the proper opinion statement. A proper opinion statement is always supported by a supporting reason or reasons that will be expanded upon in the reasoning paragraphs. By adding reasons to the opinion, your opinion becomes clear, strong, and motivated. The reason why I am on the side of this idea No need to restate your agreement at this point. You should be reflecting this in the concluding summary instead. Kick this off with a direct topic sentence or begin the discussion immediately. Just don't reiterate your opinion yet. The essay is actually quite strong in terms of reasoning and explanations. The evidence / examples in support of the discussion are also relevant and highly effective. However, the concluding statement is a bit wanting in terms of format compliance. The 2 reasons need to be repeated in a paraphrased way in that section as well. Regardless, I do not see a reason why this essay will not get a passing mark if it were used in an actual test. The overall scoring requirements have been met well enough to recieve a slightly higher than average score.

***Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students.*** ## Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? Governments around the world have so far grasped the importance of international relationships and thus taken measures to work at them. In addition, the student exchange programme launched worldwide has emerged as a propitious method to meet this goal. The essay will examine the pros and cons of the exchange scheme and shed light on why I believe the benefits of it overwhelm the drawbacks. On the one hand, the advantage of becoming a foreign academic participant is twofold. Firstly, the programme accommodates a huge opportunity to step out of the comfort zone and obtain new perspectives. The prospect of the youths being in a bizzare area will stir them to engage themselves in the surroundings and thus enhance their understanding and appreciation of the culture. Secondly, students who manage to thrive on unprecedented circumstances while living abroad develop wondrous social skills. Being far away from home means that children are isolated from any assistance from homecountry, which in turn boost self-esteem and ability to cope with problems. Moreover, tackling daily issues somewhat equip them with employability skills that pave the way for a world of employment choice. For instance, a fresh graduate with an accredited overseas school's diploma is more highly-sought after by employers than the less fortunate. On the other hand, students who travel abroad for educational pursuits are susceptible to stress and depression. Seemingly, culture shock provoke the feeling of being kept out of the loop within adolescents; if they cannot get over the spiral of everlasting distress, their performances at school will deteriorate absurbly. Briefly, although exchange students might have difficulties adapting to unfamiliar school curriculums, I strongly advocate the exchange programme in that the benefits are remarkable.

Governments around the world Wrong reference. The prompt restatement will fail since it does not refer to the correct rephrasement that relates to the point of view of teachers to the international student exchange program. Do not change the original references, but use keywords in its place instead. In addition, the student exchange programme launched worldwide has emerged Do not offer any additional information in the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. This plus the previous error will already assure that your tentative essay score is already within the failing range. The essay will examine the pros and cons I believe the benefits You are not going to get a TA passing score. You even altered the discussion from a direct advantage v. disadvantage discussion to a compare and contrast + personal opinion response. You definitely proved to the examiner that you did not understand the topic and you have no idea how to restate a simple statement in your own understanding. Your comprehension skills are questionable at this point. The overall discussion does not focus on the A v. D. discussion. You are using the pro and cons comparison discussion instead, which is not the discussion instruction for this essay. It will not get a passing score because you failed to provide the required discussion format. The response should have started with, *I believe that the program has more advantages than disadvantages. I base this opinion on 2 reasons....*

***Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Some people argue that religious or traditional festivals have been forgotten and these festivals serve as an occasion of enjoyment. While I agree that people in the modern world want to take festivals to relax, I believe that people still remember the values of these events. Festivals are always a great occasion to enjoy. People look forward to welcoming Christmas days, and on those days they often gather at home with other members to celebrate this occasion, which is the great one for people giving, presenting, and receiving gifts. Children will have wonderful memories with presents from Santa, and their parents also take advantage of this event to make decorations for their house. People could also take enjoyment in the Mid Autumn Festival, which happens in August of the lunar month, and adults and children could fulfill their satisfaction by eating moon cakes or seeing other young children carrying lanterns in the street. It could be wrong to assume that people have forgotten the core value of tradition and religion of festivals. In Viet Nam, young learners are still learning about the meaning of Mid Autumn Festival through reading lessons, and there are also activities held at school to remind them of the historical, traditional, religious values of them, which are practiced annually nationally. More than that, the good value of this event is also passed through the essential role of family on to the next generation by the word of mouth, which still preserves the meaning behind festivals In conclusion, although people show their interest in enjoyment of festivals, they are still not indifferent to the traditional and religious meaning of them.

While I agree I believe Fix the format of your response to fall more under the response format expectation. Combine these two sentences instead to reflect the measured degree of disagreement: I agree that... to the extent that I believe... This type of response presents an unmarked degree, but is still acceptable as a measured response response statement as it has a beginning and end reference to the emotional connection of your belief. The error of your response lies in the way that you fail to show that people actually still see the value of these events. You separated the relaxation from the learning discussion, causing a disconnect between the two. The more appropriate response was to explain that while the students learn about these events in the classroom, celebrating the actual event helps them do two things: (1) puts what they learned in class into practice and (2) ended up enjoying and relaxing as the excitement of the celebration caught up with them. These 2 considerations would have created a blended and cohesive discussion presentation that remained on focus with regards to the discussion topic.

## Will a Robot Take Your Job? "Will a Robot Take Your Job?" I've recently hit upon this article and interestingly, I found that a heated argument surrounding this issue has already broken out. Some people claimed that AI - which stands for Artificial Intelligence -will take the place of human performance in the foreseeable future while the protestants of the other side of the argument insisted on the indispensability of human roles in the workforce. This writing is aimed to display the mixed reviews of the debaters and individual viewpoints on this matter as a go-between. In this day and age, it's not difficult to notice that an amazing number of human works has already been automated and a consensus among many experts is that this number is on the increase. Workers in industries ranging from healthcare to agriculture and industrial sectors can all expect to see disruptions in hiring due to AI. This mounting replacement can be ascribed to, according to the specialists, the high efficiency promoted and the large income generated by the machines. They also performed a simple calculation to illustrate this notion by comparing the amount and the quality of the products manufactured by the workers and robots in workplaces. Automobile companies are a satisfactory example, people surely couldn't produce cars that are as aesthetically pleasing, powerful and sophisticated as robots, therefore pale in comparison. On the other hand, it's also my firm conviction that humans will always be playing a significant and irreplaceable role in the workforce, no matter how innovative machines can become. My outlook to prove this proclamation and oppose the above concept is that we can only implement high-tech machines in certain professions. The medical field, for example, relates directly to human health and life, so we can't leave everything to those technological devices which sometimes can commit errors and cause subsequent harms to the patient. That's why simple robotic surgery still needs the supervision of real surgeons. To put it bluntly, the necessity of real human labor still outweighs all the state-of-the-art technologies and cannot be completely replaced in many years to come.

I assume that this is your response to the general IELTS discussion. I base this observation on the way that you are tackling the topic using the standard that discussion pornat and the fact that this IS an IELTS essay topic. Which leads me to qquestion why you altered the topic presentation by saying you recently read the article and, that you are going to be discussing the mixed reviles and individual viewpoints. This is a general discussion of your personal opinion so your estatement + response already fail due to the incorrect approach to the original presentation. The important thisis statement is missing. What is your opinion? The reasoning aspect can only recieve a scoring consideration for the part that says My outlook to prove this proclamation as this is the only prompt discussion compliant part. Sadly, it will not be enough for the essay to recieve a passing consideration. Remember the Golden Rules for IELTS Task 2 writing: - Never change the restatement topic and offer a personal opinion when implied. - Always focus on the personal opinion defense unless otherwise specified.

***Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Some individuals believe it is benificial when young people participate in vital local authorities' works, however, others think that they do not have the qualities to handle those essential positions. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the view and elucidate why I agree with the latter. It is understandable why many people contend that it is a good idea for the young to take on paramount roles in the governments. First and foremost, young people are more up-to-date the old people. This is because they were wean on cutting edge electronic devices since early stages of their life while the elderly were not. Hence, through online current affairs, they can get many important news and problem faster, therefore allocate government's resources to solve those issues quicker. However, I contend that young people should not take on those essential positions in local authorities. Firstly, the young are not as wise as the elderly. This is because old people experienced more ups and downs throughout their life then young people. Thus, they are packed with a host of skills and knowledge. So when nations facing problems, the young can come up with solutions faster but the elderly will provide sounder and more efficient ideas. In conclusion, while many people think that young people should take on paramount roles in the governments, I contend that the young should not have parts in those essentials positions. They should start with small works in the governments and slowly gain experiences and skills to prepare for higher roles in the furture.

When restating the topic, always seperate the 2 ideas by using 2 individual sentences. While using a compressed sentence, seperated by punctuation marks also works, the more effective and clearer paraphrasing can be better gained by individual sentences as this will allow for more word usage, which in turn allows the paragraph to meet the minimum 3 sentence requirement. There must not be a restatement of the discussion instructions. Rather, the author will recieve a better scoring consideration for a proper personal statement opinion and responding in the proper format. More importantly, the whole paragraph gets a better restatement score for using the correct representation format in the paragraph. I contend Too soon. This is a 3 reasoning paragraph essay. So that means there have to be 3 paragraphs representing each of the public opinion explanations, based on popular opinion prior to the presentation of the personal opinion that supports a clear public opinion with personal reasons. This essay shall receive a score based on an incomplete discussion format since the author opted to use a 3 paragraph rather than 2 reasoning paragraph format presentation. Why did it become a 3 paragraph presentation? The author clearly stated in the first paragraph that: I will discuss both sides of the view and elucidate why I agree with the latter. . Had a compare and contrast format been used for the discussion paragraphs, then a 2 reasoning paragraph format would have been acceptable.

***Computers are becoming essential part of education.*** ## Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion Education has evolved a great deal since the introduction of computers to the students. Computers have given a lot of benefits both for teachers and students but there are also drawbacks to be taken into account. Firstly, one benefit of providing computers in education is that students can access a lot of valuable information for their study. With the help of computers connecting to the internet, students can find useful information about their projects, assignments and also can take useful help from other researchers as they store and organize their research materials in computers. Secondly, professors in colleges and teachers in schools take help of audio-visual techniques to prepare lesson plans for children. For this, they use Microsoft PowerPoint to prepare electronic presentations about their lectures. It is an interesting and simple method for students to learn. On the other hand, one problem of computers is that they take a toll on the health of students who spend too much time on it. This is because the monitors of computers reflect rays that could not only directly impact the eyes of pupils and in turn affect their vision but also indirectly influence their education. Another possible issue is that when computers are used in schools, students might rely too heavily on the computer to correct spelling and grammatical errors because most computer word processing programs include a spelling and grammar check. In conclusion, while students can benefit from using computers, it can also influence their health and study.

Education has evolved a great deal since the introduction of computers to the students. Understood but incorrect. Your focus is on the improvement of education due to computers. The original topic refers to the essential need for computers in education. You accidentally reversed the discussion topic. Computers have given a lot of benefits but there are also drawbacks When instructed to discuss the A and D, present 2 topic sentences for each focus. That means that a thesis statement is a required scoring element. and give your opinion Why did you add an instruction to the prompt? The Advantage V. Disadvantage instruction uses a comparative discussion that never requires a personal opinion. Did you notice how you did not give a personal opinion in the restatement paragraph? That is because you consciously knew that the last instruction was not a part of the orginal presentation. Try to avoid using numerical ordinals when transitioning from one related topic to the next. While numerical counts will recieve scores, the use of advanced transition pleases or sentences help to better boost certain scoring elements in relation to cohesiveness and grammar scoring. The conclusion is too brief. It lacks the 40 word minimum reference as represented by the discussion summary paraphrase. Always recap the previous points individually, over 5 sentences in the last paragraph.

## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (LIFE EXPECTANCY) In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing and there are a large number of people above the age of 65. What problems do these people usually face? Suggest some ways that the government can help people to better prepare for their old age It has become apparent in recent years that ageing population is becoming a serious issue. In this essay, the problems these elderly people are facing will be considered and some practical solutions will be outlined. To begin with, it is conceivable that elderly people do not have as steady a budget as middle-aged ones. If the elderly do not have children or their children cannot afford their expenses, the elderly at that time have no choice but to count on the pension benefits provided by the government as soon as they retire. In some developed countries, the old people still manage to live on their retirement benefits, whereas in developing countries, this could be a serious problem. For the reason that developing countries have to take care of different aspects within their limited budget, these countries probably cannot guarantee that every senior citizen receives sufficient pensions. As a consequence, the elderly's living standards are in decline and they may not be able to fend for themselves. One possible approach to alleviating this problem is that the government should encourage the young and middle-aged people to take a small amount from their every-month salaries and save it in the bank. Upon doing this, in the future, as they get older, they are bound to have enough money to live on their own. Moreover, as people age, they are more susceptible to age-related health issues. It is noticeable that people over the age of 65 are more prone to diseases such as cancer and diabetes mellitus. If the elderly do not take immediate action, these diseases will get worse and cause death. Since the elderly do not have enough money, they would rather stay at home than go to the hospital and medical clinic for treatment because healthcare could cost a fortune. One measure that could be taken to address this problem is to spur people to exercise from a young age and have a healthy diet. In a 2018 study, an international group of researchers led by scientists found that having a healthy diet and exercising at a moderate level could extend life expectancy by 14 years for women and by 12 years for men. To summarize, as people age, if they do not take good precautions, they will encounter loads of problems. To prevent these problems from happening, we should start taking actions by gradually saving money from our earnings, having a healthy balanced diet and taking exercises.

The prompt restatement is incomplete. The age of the elderly citizen must be mentioned in a new way as this is an integral part of the original topic information. It is not just a general elderly scenario. Additionally, there must be direct topic responses in terms of the connected problems these rapidly aging population pose and, 2 solutions that may be considered by the government. The solutions must be related in topic to the problem topics indicated. Your discussion style tends to be confusing to read as it flows away from the prescribed discussion topic most of the time. A focus on the problem and government solution is needed in a more precise paragraph. You only need 5 sentences to complete each topic paragraph presentation. A fully developed discussion paragraph will present: - The problem - Why it is a problem - Sugggested government solution - Why the solution will work The discussions you present are too busy and not fully relevant to the government responsibility aspect. The presentation of information does not consistently show a government solution based on their responsibility. Rather, it encourages personal solutions, removing the responsibility of the government, which is the basis of the solution discussion. The essay cannot get a passing score since the solution discussion is not in accordance with the discussion instructions.

I'll be taking the exam in 2 weeks. Please leave some feedback; I'd appreciate it! ## ***Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.Do you agree or disagree?*** It is argued that the governments should be responsible for conducting scientific studies instead of private companies. To a certain extent, I think private companies are capable of carrying out their own investigation. However, I agree that it could be more beneficial if the states are in charge of organizing those research. From a business perspective, private companies have more motivation to invest in their research. They need evidence to show that their products or interventions could bring out the desired effects. The significant results from the company's findings could be the selling points of their products, which bring great profits for the company. As a result, private companies could gather a large amount of data, but they could also manipulate the data to benefit themselves. For example, a pharmaceutical company studying the effectiveness of the newly invented drug would never want to disseminate the results of their study if that drug does not work. They could possibly adjust the findings to make them more favorable. As there is a considerable risk of bias from private companies' research, I think the data quality could be better assured if the governments initiate those research. The states have fewer conflicts of interest that individual company. However, the governments have many focuses including economics, society, health, environment and more. If the research interest is not within the authorities' top priorities, it would take a long time for the research proposal to be approved and implemented. But once the researches are conducted, the findings will bring great benefits for the community and will help to inform the development of policy. In conclusion, I believe that government-sponsored scientific studies, rather than those conducted by private companies, can better ensure the quality of evidence and better inform policy-makers.

To a certain extent, However, I agree that You have provided a response sentence for 2 different discussion prompts in the task 2 essay. The former, is for the extent essay prompt. The latter, is the one that applies to this essay, without the "However" part. Kindly familiarize yourself with the response formats for each prompt type. You will lose points in this case because, by providing 2 thesis responses, you are telling the reviewer, quite clearly, that you did not understand the question and, are not sure about how to respond to the question. Hence, a failing score will have to be provided. It is argued that Please note that there is no argument or discussion provided in this essay so the word choice is incorrect. There is a single idea presented in the original topic which, should have been presented as a thought to the examiner, in order to follow the correct prompt restatement format. By arguing, you are again, showing incorrect interpretations and an additional deduction source for the LR section due to incorrect word usage.

## the tendency to online education Nowadays, there is a likelihood that people prefer choosing to study online than taking part in traditional classroom learning. On the one hand, participating in online courses could bring about many sustainable advantages. The positive aspect of studying online is online ones offer a more flexible time to study. Students can schedule the time that suits for their schedule to learn, which means that they can handle study around other responsibilities, and study every time they want. Another positive effect of virtual classes is students can finalize their course from other comfort spaces instead of having to go to school or extra classes. This will minimize the cost of commuting while also reducing the financial burden on parents. On the other hand, online classes certainly have numerous disadvantages associated with them. To start with, one of the most indispensable things about traditional classes is the better interaction between teacher and student. Online schooling will lead to limit the social interaction between fellows and teachers. As a result, lack of interaction and competition will lead to the situation that to loss of motivation, easy boredom. In addition, if students spend too much time sticking their eyes on a screen, they will get some diseases like obesity, headache, or backache... Another consequence of studying online is students easily lose contraction because there are several attractive things such as phones or computer games. At the same time, teachers cannot control what they are doing during the lesson, which causes ineffective lessons. In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the argument it is not hard to see that traditional learning and online learning have their merits and demerits. However, studying online can bring about some drawbacks, I firmly believe that regular classes can bring more benefits.

The essay clearly missing the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. This is the first paragraph that is presented in the essay that covers the self-explanatory presentation. Any essay that is missing this paragraph will automatically receive a failing preliminary assessment score. That is because the writer showed that he is not knowledgable about how English response papers are written. The response paper being a basic and vital part of an English based college curriculum. Due to the incorrect formatting of the paragraphs, the essay cannot be awarded a passing score, even with the excessive number of words written. That is because the required paragraph representations are lacking or misdirected. When a whole paragraph is extreme importance to the presentation is missing, the examiner will not have a choice but to lower the overall marks for task requirement. It cannot be awarded a passing score.

Topic: ## The pie chart below shows information about where coffee is produced, consumed and where is profit goes The pie charts illustrate coffee production and consumption in different nations as well as places coffee's revenues are contributed to. Overall, while South America hold the greatest coffee production ratio, the main consumer is Central America. In addition, shippers enjoy the highest profit from coffee. In term of production, South America's proportion dominates over that of the rest with 44%, followed by Africa, Asia and Central America, whose ratio are 17%, 18% and 19% respectively, leaving Oceania behind with the rate of 2%. As for coffee consumption, Central America is the major consumer, taking over more than a half of the pie. Whereas Japan consume rate is the lowest, at 7%. Asia ranked second in utilizing coffee with 27% and 11% is that of South America. Regarding revenue generated from coffee, shippers benefit greatly from it, occupies 55% of the total profit five times that of producer with 11%. Standing at the second place is seller with 27% of profit being generated form coffee products, nearly 4 times that of explorer. *

For the summary information, try to use specifics for the pie charts. At least mention how many pie charts are involved so that when you mention the information per chart, the reader will have a better idea of how to apply the pie chart information in relation to individual data. The trending paragraph is acceptable since it focuses on a major part of each pie chart. It shows the flow of the images in terms of information dominance. The main problem in the presentation is the lack of properly developed simple and complex sentences in the paragraphs. The ideas are mostly presented as run-on or compressed sentences, instead of following a proper compare and contrast format for the information, By dividing the ideas into related sentences in the remaining paragraphs, the report will be much clearer and be easier to follow for the reader. The grammar range and accuracy score is limited in the overall presentation because of the run-on sentences.

## advantage and disadvantage of online communicating Due to a myriad of ups and downs triggered by the pandemic, it is not serpentine that virtual conversations be more likely to be popularized rather than direct communication in a wide range of companies. A ubiquitous though just arising question about whether this is a down-to-earth resolution for this circumstance will be. distinctively analyzed in this piece of writing. When it comes to the efficiency, online communication is indeed by far the best approach during quarantine time, in which an eclectic mix of companies are put on the back burner. This enables workers seemingly have more freedom to speak rather than that when they have face to face conversations, which results in the diversity of ideas and enterprises contributed by the staff. It is the case that some are distracted in the workplaces by nostalgia virtually the whole day, leading to not fully developed yield when compared to the boss's expectation. Thus, when working at home, no longer do they feel homesick, as a consequence, there is no hindrance, no ceiling, the sky's the limits. Yet, this idea has come in for a great deal of criticisms from the public with regards to security. Cyber-crimes are a ubiquitous phenomenon now in this modern context. Some confidential data thereby can be stolen, owing to the code crackers hired by the rival, or be leaked out, this has such unforeseen impacts on the company, perhaps the bankruptcy. Furthermore, what if the employees sit and stick their eyes on the laptop or phone screens day in day out? Health decline of course is the striking features in this aspect. Their eye's sights are shrinking dramatically. And the second nightmare which is insomnia is just bound to come in terms of meeting deadlines. Long story short, this thorny issue is a doubled-edged sword and quite dependent on the people's adaption as it has significant repercussions on ones' health if they do not get used to it well. But still, to certain extent, the upsides outweigh the downsides.

You just confused the examiner with your first paragraph statement. It looks like a dictionary vomited on the paragraph with your use of advanced English words which, rather than improving your score, will force a failure based on LR incapacities. It is easy to open a dictionary when you are practicing the test, and choose the most impressive sounding advanced English words to create your paragraph. Nothing wrong with that. The problem, is that the words you have chosen to use throughout the essay are nothing more than a misguided attempt to impress the examiner with a non-existent knowledge of advanced English language and word usage. The test is not about vocabulary usage, it is about how well you use basic, simple, everyday English words to compose an understandable English paragraph. When you use advanced words out of context, you fail to achieve that target. Write another essay, this time, do not use a dictionary when writing. Use your actual knowledge of basic or intermediate English words to express yourself. Then I will be able to properly assess your writing abilities and comprehension skills. Right now though, you have just failed the writing test.

## leaving home or city for better education or a job One of the conspicuous trends of todays world is that people are migrating to other city to fulfill their requirement. There is a widespread worry about related to this situation. however, good things are always followed by bed things as well. In this essay I will going to prove my point. In this modern world many people are in hurry to grave their chance and for this they need to go out of their home place. There are many village or place where students can not found proper situation to study, so they need to go for other city. Further more, student get chance to learn many things like they will do each and every things themselves and it help them to become independence. To illustrate this, many students come in Kathmandu to study or to find job from village area and they need to search room themselves and job as well which give them experience about it. On the other hand, there are many people who leave their house for study or job may caught by bad people or bad company. There are other many pressure to leave in new place, which is hard to handle by teenager, so bad people can easily brainwash them. According to survey held by education department maximum percent of drug addicted people was comes from teenage people. In the view of the argument outline above, leaving home or city for getting higher education or in search of job will give many positive advantage whereas, there are number of people who get manipulated by bad company and forget their aim of life.

people are migrating to other city People is a plural reference to "person". "City" is a singular reference to "Cities", the plural form of the word. You must use consistent numerical references. Singular references for singular statements, and plural statements for plural subject references. Points lost for grammar knowledge and word usage accuracy. There is a widespread worry about related to this situation. Prompt topic deviation. The original prompt merely referred to a question of the advantage or disadvantage of this topic. There was no worry nor debate about it. You will lose points for misinterpreting the original topic in your restatement. In this essay I will going to prove my point. Points lost yet again for not answering in the required format. Do you see this as an advantage or disadvantage? You need not use flowery words of wisdom, you need to be direct to the point and clearly responsive to the task question. First and primary scoring consideration for the essay response has already failed at this point. It leaves the exam taker with very little leeway to pass the test. It will be next to impossible due to lack of grammar control, obvious lack of English comprehension skills, and incorrect opinion statement format. There is no sense in reviewing the rest of the essay since it has already failed to meet the minimum passing requirements.

***Some people say that when dividing how taxes should be spent, the government should prioritize health care.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Conventional wisdom has it, the taxes should be exploited wisely to benefit the taxpayers and the general public. Some argue that health care ought to put in the first priority while the others consider there are also other worth-noting aspects in lives deserve much more attention by the government when it comes to the arrangement of the taxes. I personally agree that the government should take into account other aspects, particularly the education-wise in order to use the taxes wisely. There is no doubt that health care is the most essential part of human beings' lives. Therefore, the taxes seemingly should be chiefly spent in this field in light of the reasons stated below. Firstly, the grassroots cannot afford the exorbitant fees of private hospital. The government has been employing the taxes to provide the much cheaper public hospital services to the general public. Without the governmental subsidies, the poor could hardly bear the costs of health care. Secondly, investing in health care sector must be attached importance to because of the mammoth threats of pandemic. In the post-pandemic era, it is worth noting that slight loophole of preventing the coronavirus to invade the community could take a huge toll on the economy and public health. Therefore, the government absolutely needs establish a decent health care system to benefit the general public. Nevertheless, the financial support in educational system should never be turned a blind eye to. Children have to be well-educated to not only learn the technical knowledge, but also cultivate and nurture their soft skills like the development interpersonal relationship. The school provides an impeccable platform for the pupils to experience the life in mini society. Therefore, the taxes should be deployed to provide free education to the general public to let every child receive the equal chance to learn and experience the social life. In addition, the authorities could employ the taxes to establish a scholarship mechanism to reward the incoming foreign students. The incoming students could make the school environment diverse, they could promote the development of multicultural learning as well. As a case in point, South Korea has established a rewarding system which allows the foreign students to enjoy the free-of-charge university education as long as they show the high enthusiasm and understanding toward Korea. The financial support in education is a must to nurture the future pillar of society. In a nutshell, albeit health care should be prioritized because of its significance, the decent financial support is also required to deliver the comprehensive welfares to the general public. It is the responsibility of the government to spare no efforts to investigate how to make use of the taxpayers' money wisely.

There is a 40 minute limitation on this writing task. As such, you cannot approach this as a scientific paper or college thesis presentation of almost 500 words. Rather, you must write a simple personal opinion of no more than 300 words as you have to focus not on the advanced word usage, not on the length of the essay, but on the quality of the quick explanation and reasoning that you will be providing. You already committed an automatic failing score error in the first paragraph when you failed to properly reflect a simple prompt restatement and an accurate, measured personal opinion as required in that section. Regardless of your thesis statement, you must meet the formatting requirement for the response first. That means, no lengthy discussion of your personal opinion in the segment. Just a simple retelling of the required elements and quick presentation of the personal opinion with a short thesis statement. The essay, even though it is extremely long, has already recieved a failing score. All because you chose to disregard the scoring elements of the presentation. This is just a simple, general discussion, you turned it into a college level thesis. That is not the requirement. The test is for a general discussion, without specific discussion targets, just base your opinion on the general sentiment. It is not meant to be over complicated. Not with only 40 minutes to write the draft and perfect the grammar. The latter is something that you failed to do when your score is based on grammar usage. Long essays force grammar errors and under developed paragraphs. This is what happened in your case.

## IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS SOME INDUSTRIALIZED COUNTRIES HAVE SERIOUS ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS. THE DAMAGE TO THE ENVIRONMENT IS AN INEVITABLE RESULT WHEN A COUNTRY TENDS TO IMPROVE THE STANDARD OF LIVING. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE? The rapid industrialization should be entwined with the degradation of environment remains a topic of debate. My stance is that economic advancement should not be entirely blamed for environment issues and there are several appropriate methods that governments can implement to deal with these problems. Admittedly, there is empirical evidence suggesting how much harm countries thriving economically are doing to the environment. This can be seen in the exhaustion of natural resources due to extensive logging and mining, the extinction of many animal species due to poaching and the pollution of various kinds due to industrial and agricultural waste. Such problems, however, are fundamentally caused by the lack of public green's awareness and maladroit governments that either overlook the repercussions of their inaction or condone pernicious human activities because of short- term economic incentives. I am convinced that the raising of living condition would not be achieved at the cost of environment if efficient operating methods are performed. Firstly, governments should take advantage of the technology development to produce green products, and recycle the disposed rubbish to reduce the impact of pollution. They should also heavily invest in alternative energy sources such as wind, hydro, solar power and make them viable for public use. In addition, authorities should impose and enforce strict laws to punish individuals or companies that have harmful practices to the environment. Thus, the environment could still be protected if governments around the world strove for economic sustainability. In conclusion, I believed that by taking feasible measures, the environment protection can be put into action simultaneously with the process of industrialization.

This is not a school research paper. This is a task 2 IELTS essay. The focus of this test is to prove that you can function in an English language classroom by proving your English comprehension and reasoning skills. That is why the first paragraph of this essay is known as the prompt restatement + personal opinion section. The examiner will assess your ability to restate a problem and offer a relevant response. Niether of which you did in this essay because you chose to take the research statement route and discuss the topic in the first paragraph. You failed to meet the scoring requirements for the task. You have failed to achieve a passing mark for the TA score due to the missing prompt restatement and relevant opinion. Nothing else matters. You have already shown an inability to restate a problem and, follow an instructed discussion format.

## People tend to work longer hours nowadays. ***Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?*** Individuals have tended to prefer extended workdays which have various disadvantages on their health, their family life and the community, so the government should ban the phenomenon. In my perspective, I completely agree with the idea of limiting work hours. Workers' physical health has been harmed as a result of working excessive hours. People who work overtime are frequently exhausted, according to statistics. This is due to greater hours spent sitting at a workplace, gazing at a computer, and less physical exercise. As a result, individuals are more likely to experience health problems, including obesity, anxiety disorders, or even stroke. In the case of addiction, a study showed that individuals who were sedentary, were twice as likely to die prematurely than those who worked only around eight hours a day since they had more time to exercise regularly. Working overtime has a negative influence on not only one's physical health but also on one's emotional health. Long hours at work mean less time to relax and sleep. As a result, our possibilities for depression are increased, resulting in a reduction in job satisfaction and productivity. At the same time, the proportion of people quitting their occupations would skyrocket. As an example, consider my uncle. He spends over eleven hours every day at the workplace and is now suffering from depression and stress. In conclusion, I believe that the authorities should take measures to minimize this trend, as frequent working long hours has a harmful influence on employees' physical and mental health.

on their health There is no reference to the health of the person in the original statement. It indicates "themselves", which is not the same "their health". This is an incorrect synonym usage. The more appropriate phrase or word to have used here would have been "personal lives" since this refers to the idea of harming "themselves". I completely agre There is a difference between an extent response and a simple response in this essay. While both refer to agree or disagree, the former uses the hint "to what extent" in refence to "completely agree". Where "to what extent" is not present, the response should simply be "I agree". according to statistics. You can skip information sources in the task 2 essay because the task calls for only your personal opinion, regardless of whether the information is made up or accurate. The examiner is interested in the way that you analyze questions and deliver responses. He does not require a source for the information. consider my uncle Good touch that can increase the scoring potential. Personal examples help show how well you understood the question and how you apply the same to your personal insight. Well done. The conclusion only contains 29 words, this must have at least 40 words to be considered a proper reverse paraphrase. The original topic was not restated as required. Neither were the topic sentences rephrased for this section. Both of which are the basis of the score for this paragraph.

## Many tasks from school to home for students It is believed by a large array of people that doing many additional assignments after school time is beyond doubt of no importance, while others are liable to have their descendants delivered large amount of homework. Owing to multiple objective reasons, understandably, I would tend to the latter. The assertion that education is an undoubtedly fundamental factor in contributing to nation-building is nothing new. Almost all aspects relating to this field are accordingly always a fiery debated topic among people from every walk of life, one of which is the teacher's giving school-goers much homework. On the one hand, there are a host of reasons which make this phenomenon a controversial one. The most conspicuous excuse is that children in this society have a tendency to be under snow with hectic schedule timetables because of their parents' unrealistic expectations. Secondly, a wide range of negative effects are exerted on kids themselves if a wealth of exercise Is given. This is because alumni are more prone to obese and therefore live in a sedentary way as well. A great number of excuses, on the other hand, exist in favor of youngster's being given many tasks. one of the keenest merits of this teaching method is that academics are accordingly able to control the inquisitive power of student individually. This, therefore, leads to a more positive academic performance and a promising career path as well. Another implication that supports this phenomenon is that it increases the ability of teenagers to cope with multiple challenges in not only classroom but also in place where they work in the future, This is because theoretical knowledge doubtless plays an important role in determining pedagogical outcome of alumni. To sum up, teachers should give out a right and reasonable amount of homework so that students can consolidate their knowledge and have fun with their friends at the same time

The prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph sounds like an English dictionary exploded all over it. The student clearly appears to have no control over his sentence formations and does not have any idea how to use English words in the context of grammar and definition. As such, the prompt restatement cannot recieve a passing score. This first paragraph cannot be given a passing score due to the incoherence of writing that will confuse the examiner. The assertion that education Do not deviate from the prompt topic. Immediately discuss assignments. There is no sense in defending education when that is not the focal point of the essay. Only the discussion in relation to assignments is important. While the writer wrote more than ample words to qualify the essay as above the word count. The essay will still fail because of his inability to write logical and coherent sentences / paragraphs. There is no way this type of writing can achieve a passing score because the required elements will not receive passing scores.

## Recently, companies usually demonstrate that their goods are newer than before. ***This phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss the both sides.*** In terms of the company, it must have a spotlight on their product that would appeal consumers and it usually with the new functions or improvements. Take brand 'Apple' as a example, there a lot of competitors in the smartphone fields, it must be unique to compete with the others. Moreover, this commercial strategy is also a way of demonstrating their attitude of life-up that would give the consumers a positive impression. According to this, it is a positive impact to both company and clients that former one keep improving their products while another one could be served with the better products. However, it also has some bad effect in some cases. Due to the naturality, human beings are born to have a sense of curios. Thus, people would rather try new things than old ones. It is clear that the new merchandises always catching eyes of people. For instance, my mother often buy product, especially foods, which seller called it a whole new goods that you ever seen or tasted. And it resulted in my mother being waste more money to buy something which does not needed actually. To sum up, I consider that commercials clarifying the products which is different from the previous one or other products, has a range of influences in both positive or negative ways. It can be depended on the each side of companies and consumers.

In this essay, I will discuss the both sides. You already told the reader that you will be discussing both sides when you said that there are advantages and disadvantages to the scenario. What the examiner will expect to read are the topics or the individual topics you will be discussing as an advantage and disadvantage. That is because of the task accuracy requirement that uses the topic sentences to show the examiner how well you understood the discussion instructions. The presentation needs more work in terms of clarity and vocabulary usage. The writer tends to use incorrect word references, without first checking if the meaning of the word is correctly spelled or, used in the correct reference manner in terms of meaning. The student needs to build on his vocabulary skills with more English reading and a specific focus on English word meaning. I consider Seeing as how there was no need for a personal opinion in the advantage and disadvantage discussion, the writer has made a serious error that could fail his essay due to the personal opinion reference in the concluding statement. Without a proper summary conclusion, the essay will be considered open ended, one of the major reasons that an IELTS test often recieves a failing score.

Prompt- ***We are a community with quirks, both in language and in traditions.*** ## Describe one of your quirks and why it is part of who you are. Around 250 words, max of 300. Essay- I'm an avid collector. From collecting bottle caps, stickers, F.C. Bayern calendars, birthday cards, books, Magic The Gathering cards, and even cool-looking rocks, I have always had an affinity for collecting. Let me take you through some of my collections. Each bottle cap I collect has a story. They all have one thing in common; they were all present during special moments in my life. They serve as time traveling machines that bring me back to a particular time and place every time I look at them. Among my favorites include my Tío Leonardo's Toña bottle cap from when I met my Nicaraguan extended family for the first time this past summer and my father's Stella Artois bottle cap from when Germany won the 2014 World Cup. Thanks to my mother, books have always played a large role in my life, which is why I collect them. My collection spans from rarer books such as a first edition copy of A Journal from our Legation in Belgium by Hugh Gibson to the entirety of my favorite author-Roald Dahl's works. Unlike my other collections, my collection of F.C. Bayern calendars is something I did not intend; it just happened. Every Christmas my Aunt Monika gifts me an F.C. Bayern calendar. My collection begins with a 2010 calendar and I hope to keep expanding my collection and even continue the tradition with a family of my own. Building my collections provides an escape to my increasingly hectic life. My collections act as a continuity of self, each object providing a snapshot into my life.

I believe that you do not understand what a quirk is. What it means and how it applies to this essay. Let me explain it to you. A quirk, by definition is a peculiarity of action, behavior, or personality; mannerism. This is something that some people may find strange about you, but seems perfectly normal to you. Having an assortment of collections cannot be considered a quirk because there is nothing strange about your activity. It is not questionable, a source of wonder, or an action that may lead to a strange movement on your part. Therefore, your response to the essay does not apply. Having a collection in your case is normal. None of your collection would be seen as out of the ordinary. Some of these are even souveniers. No, you have not responded corrctly to the prompt at all. No aspect of this response may be used in the next version of this writing.

***Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.*** ## What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? Computer games have become more popular in over the world and children can easily gain access to them. This essay discusses the downside effects of playing digital games on computer of youngsters and gives measures to mitigate its bad impacts. One of the major issues associated with this is that teenager's physical health will probably run a higher risk of contracting illnesses. This can be exemplified by how worse metabolism the youth get if they sit in front of computers for a long time. Another alarming problem is that children's characteristics could be worsen by playing computers games too much. They can get angry more easily and lose their patience to everything. As a result, those who play digital games on computers without control become more impulsive and careless about society. There are two main measures to tackle this problem. One solution to this problem is for schools to organize more extracurricular activities and thus students could be closer to the nature and society. Another feasible solution would be for parents to incentivize theirs kids to do more outdoor activities. It leads to the result that their children will be kept far from digital devices. To conclude, excessive playing computer games brings a myriad of detrimental impacts on children. Encouraging kids and organizing more outdoor activities are two measures to solve this problem.

This essay discusses The prompt restatement is not grammatically perfect, but, the interpretation of the writer did not fall far from the original. Good job. However, the writer neglected to provide the 2 thesis sentences which were to provide the basis for his opinion score for the first scoring aspect of the essay. By simply repeating the discussion points, rather than providing clear responses to the question, the writer fails to create a reference to his actual thoughts on the questions provided. The examiner loses the ability to score the English comprehension skills of the test-taker based on his response opinion statement. will probably Since this is your opinion, it is important that you use convincing words in your presentation. When you obviously doubt the basis of your defense, the examiner will have no choice but to score down your paragraph based on the lack of a clear opinion yet again. The paragraph will be seen as under developed in terms of explanation as you are not strongly defending your opinion with believable reasons. There are two main measures While 2 possible solutions are presented, there is a lack of convicing explanation for both. Neither are completely developed as there are no references as to how effective these solutions are or can be. These suggestions only have a reasoning sentence in support of it, but no example of effectiveness. So both solutions are also under developed. myriad of detrimental impacts As this is a recap summary of the discussion, you have to be specific about the negative impact it creates. The summary conclusion must restate the topic, the writer responses, and offer a solid closing sentence in order to gain a high score.

## foreign and local students in Australia (2001 - 2010) The line graph illustrates the register of abroad students and local students in Australian universities during the period from 2001 to 2010. Overall, the quantity of both students experienced an upward trend, although the figure of overseas students was always lower than local students, there was a surge in the commencing of overseas students, while a minimal increase in the others. In 2001, the commencing of oversea students stood at approximate 16000, which was followed a significant increase to over 40000, leading to a dramatic rise to over 80000 in the total of overseas students in 2010. The latter remained double than the former. Whereas, the commencing of local students witnessed a slight growth, from nearly 180000 in 2001 to more than 200000 in 2010, however, before the total of local students examined a tremendous, the figure had shown stability in the last three years. This resulted in a huger gap between them. *

The line graph illustrates There must be a clear differentiation of the line graph images. There are 2 images presented for analysis and reporting. Therefore, the writer must indicate the number of images and what each image represents in the presentation. The clear separation of image content will help add clarity and focus to the summary presentation. the commencing This is a repeated word used in the essay. Try to vary your word usage to help your LR score. When you use the same word twice in the essay, it shows a limited English vocabulary and will be scored accordingly.An equivalend reference would be start of studies, beginning of classes, among other alternative word usage.

## The bar chart compares four countries in the UK in terms of holiday accommodation in 2010. From an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the British mostly favored hotel over others services, while camping was the least popular activity. In 2010, the figure for hotels was highest in England, at about 55%, followed by those of Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, with 52%, 48%, and 44%, respectively. The Scottish, however, had the highest proportion in self-catered holiday, with 30%, nearly three times that of Nothern Ireland, at 12%. While having the lowest figures in self-catering and hotel accommodation, Northern Ireland, however, had the highest percentage of a caravan holiday, at remarkably 31%, much higher than those of England, Scotland, and Wales, with 7%, 12%, and 9%, consecutively. The figures for camping in all the countries mentioned share nearly an equal proportion, at approximately 12%, except for Scotland, which had the lowest of only 5%. *

From an overall perspective You went directly to the trending statement without offering a proper summary overview. This will cost you percentage points in the task assessment section. You have not followed the required presentation format for the essay. Only the trending statement can be placed anywhere in the remaining paragraphs. The opening statement must always be the summary overview. The reporting sections are well presented but not analyzed to a great extent. So the cohesiveness of the essay, in relation to analysis of the report is weak and will not get a very good score. The task 1 essay always gets a better final score when the writer takes the time to actually analyze and compare, rather than just report on the facts from the images. Next time, try to focus a little bit more on the comparison and analysis discussion aspect. You were too quick to end it in this report.

## different academic abilities and selection of students *SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT SCHOOLS SHOULD SELECT STUDENTS ACCORDING TO THEIR ACADEMIC ABILITIES, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER TO HAVE STUDENTS WITH DIFFERENT ABILITIES STUDYING TOGETHER. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND STATE YOUR OWN OPINION* In this day and age, the number of students who have great academic performance despite their age is rising at an unprecedented rate. While some people advocate the idea that students should be allowed to study with people who have the same capacity as them, others agree that a class should have students with different academic abilities. The following essay with discuss both views and raise the author's voice On the one hand, arranging classes with students who share equal potential can bring about an array of benefits. One of the pros is that it will be extremely time-saving for prestigious students who want to go the extra mile in both their study as well as their future careers. It can be illustrated by the fact that in spite of learning something that they already understand with ordinary students, they can nurture their raw talent by studying with a specific pedagogy with people who are on the same level as them. Therefore, they can achieve a myriad of successes in their study from a very young age and can contribute greatly to society On the other hand, there are also some merits to be gained when having students with a wide range of academic levels in the same class. First and foremost, gifted students can support their counterparts with lower study levels by instructing or providing knowledge since they might find it hard to comprehend some kind of lecture. Thereby, not only low-educated students can understand the lesson properly but also smart ones can revise it by reteaching it to others. Furthermore, if well-educated students are permitted to take high-level classes, they might graduate and find a job sooner than their friends, which may be really stressful for them when it comes to communicating with co-workers, mainly due to the lack of essential social skills and age barriers In conclusion, while I agree that studying with same-level students can save time and make students gain a lot of achievements when they are still young, I also subscribe to the notion that combining students with various academic abilities also have many advantages.

In this day and age, the number of students ... an unprecedented rate You are expected to restate the original discussion topic without adding any misleading statements or personal opinions that could alter the content presentation. This sentence is a personal opinion statement that is unsupported by the original topic indicators. Therefore, the paragraph will receive a percentage of point deductions for prompt topic alterations. This means the essay will start its base scoring considerations from a failing score aspect. The following essay ... the author's voice Another task percentage deduction since the author does not provide a clear personal opinion where required as indicated by the task accuracy requirements. The lack of the author's opinion, which represents a personal thesis statement was required in this paragraph presentation. The first paragraph of the essay does not meet IELTS accuracy requirements and will not recieve a passing score. The rest of the essay also lacks discussion clarity. The public opinion is not represented accurately, making the reasoning paragraphs seem to come from a personal opinion standpoint. The summary conclusion will also receive a failing mark because, rather than providing a discussion recap, the writer has chosen to discuss his opinion in this section. The lack of a proper concluding statement paragraph shows an incompletely developed essay and will result in an overall failing score. In reference to the closing format, simply saying "In conclusion", but not actually providing the conclusion in the required format indicates the lack of a conclusion. It is not in the correct and expected format and therefore, cannot be scored based on a passing basis.

## research students of different subjects The bar chart illustrated research students on both gender who studying six science-related subjects in UK university in 2009, they are Physics, Astronomy, Geology, Biologoy, Medicine and Veterinary medicine. Overall, the first thing we should be able to spot is that the science-related subjects are dominated by male students. The trend on subject toke by male and female students differ. The figures shown male students are obviously more than female students in most of the subjects. The gap is huge especially on Physics, only less than 50 female students while male students are more than 200. In contrast, the gaps are narrowed in both Biology and Medicine, there nearly an equal number between male and female student, moreover, these two subjects are most welcomed by both gender with the highest number of student studying. Veterinary medicine with the least number of students studying, but it is interested that is the only subject that majority are occupied by female students. *

The summary is too compressed in terms of presentation.It requires more sentence presentations for the individual information parts. Additionally, the specific genders need to be identified as indicated in the image. That is because the expanded gender considerations of the 21st century makes it difficult to decide what the default genders are for the report. Do not wait till the trending paragraph to clarify that data. It should be clear from the very start. The summary should be divided into 3 sentence presentations since there are 3 ideas presented in the run-on sentence. toke This is not an English word. It is not in the dictionary. Did you mean "taken" instead? Be careful when spelling and using words. You do not want LR deductions to be applied as this will result in a lower or, depending on the number of errors, a failing score for that section. The last paragraph needs to be seperated into 2 presentations. The seperation of paragraphs is based on the number of subjects indicated. The comparison paragraphs need to be grouped by 3, as in 3 subjects per comparison discussion.

## home party preparation Hello teacher, my name is Le Thi Huong Quynh, I'm twenty years old, a student of class AC19A1B , majoring in accounting Dong A University. Today is the final exam day, and my topic is '' You are going to have a party at home. Make a talk about how to prepare for the party''.Here is my presentation, hope you enjoy it. August is coming, a month that for me is very lucky and memorable. Specifically, August 10th is my mother's birthday. I will organize a small family party for my mother right in my garden. The party that day will of course include all members of my family, including my father, my brother, my sister, my sister, and my grandchildren as well. My mother really loves seafood and drinks lemonade, so that day I will buy a lot of seafood for her, including king crab, lobster, squid, octopus, whale, and lots of seafood dishes another. The drink at the party that day will be lemonade made by myself, just to ensure everyone's health and it is also the drink that my mother likes. And most importantly, it's my mother's birthday cake, I will order red cake, because red is my mother's favorite color. In addition, I will never forget the decoration of the birthday party for my mother. I hope she will be very happy and happy on that day. Thank you for listening and watching.

Writing this presentation based on an actual event is a nice approach. At the very least, it gives you a specific type of party to plan and write about. However, you do not really need to mention a month and date for the party since the requirement is for you write about a party in general. So these specifics are not really needed. In the description of the family members who will be attending the party, you mention "my sister" twice. Is this an error? A repeated reference? If you are referring to 2 different sisters, then you should mention if one is older and the other is younger or say "my 2 older sisters" to use a correct numerical ordinal for them in the presentation. By the way, you are only 21 years old right? How can you have grandchildren at that age? This is reference error in the presentation. Additionally, the reference to lemonade "made by myself" is a bit confusing in reference as "by myself:" often means a person is alone. You can instead say "lemonade I am making myself" since you are looking into a future reference. The explanation itself is simple and uses imperfect English. However, you still manage to make yourself understood. You were able to discuss how you plan to prepare for your mother's birthday, which is the point of the essay. Grammar issues aside, it is understandable enough for an English native speaker to understand. That is not to say that you should not try to use properly structured English sentences though. You definitely have to do that.

## the percentage of New Zealand population 1950 - 2050 The given graph illustrates the proportion of four different age groups in the total population of New Zealand in 1950,1990,2000 and the estimation of 2050. Overall, there is a decline in the percentage of people from 25 to 37 while the opposite trend was seen in others. In addition, the people of age over 65 consistently have the largest figures throughout the period, even though a considerable decrease was seen in the latter of the period. In 1950, the percentage of senior citizens started at 60%, after which it saw a gradual rise to reach its peak at 70% in 1990, before declining to about 63% 10 years later. Similar changes, but to a lesser extent, were seen in the figure for people from 38 to 45, which grew from roughly 25% to almost 50% then decreased to precisely 40% in 2000. 5% of infants and teenagers lived in New Zealand in the first 40 years, with a significant increase to 10% in 2000. Meanwhile, opposite changes can be seen in the figure for people from 25 to 37, which decreased steadily from over 20% to exactly 10% in 2000. By 2050, the population of people aged over 65 and from 25 to 37 is expected to drop at the same rate, reaching 55% and 0% respectively. By contrast, the figures for the young will increase by 10 percent whereas the middle-aged is predicted to maintain stable at 40%. * *line graph*

four different age groups Specified as? Kindly give importance to every summarized aspect of the presentation. Each information piece you share should be highlighted in its own sentence to help the reader avoid information confusion. Information confusion normally occurs when more than 1 idea is shared per sentence. This is commonly known as a run-on sentence. from 25 to 37 age over 65 Do not included specific information in the trending section. These should be presented as general observations, with the full data reference being provided in the reporting, analysis, and comparison paragraphs. This trend is good, but should have avoided direct information references. You can be vague in this reference area. Overall, the analysis appears to be well thought out and developed. However, the writer could learn how to write shorter comparative sentences to save on draft writing time. More time should be spent on the proofreading and finalization of the analytical report. Good job just the same.

## Modern slavery According to the Cambridge dictionary, "Modern slavery is the condition of being forced by threats, violence to work for little or no pay and having no power to control what work you do, or where you do it". However, nowadays, slavery can manifest itself in ways that are more veiled, from forced child labor to self-depreciation to suit a pattern, and unconsciously, we all are slaves of our society and ourselves. From a very young age, they taught us what to think and how to act, creating labels and fitting ourselves to them. Using the media to create new trends, to say what is pretty and what is not, as George Orwell said, "The mass supports the brand, the brand sustains the media and the media controls the mass" thus, media creates a standard to enslave and exploit the population. Therefore, in every part of our lives, society expects us to do or to be something. Take the first step at one year old, start talking at three, and learn how to read at five, those are what "normal" kids do, otherwise, you will be too late, creating a feeling of inadequacy and competitiveness, when we always do our best, but it's not enough, so we keep fighting each other as they want us to do. Moreover, time is another thing that makes us slaveries of our society, have you ever heard the phrase: "Time is money" even though it looks like a metaphor is the reality of the system that we are in nowadays. The movie "In time" showed us how capitalism works in our civilization, where rich people have time while the poorest may count every second. This system often puts us in very precarious working conditions, because it needs money to survive, and it takes work to get money, still, a good job requires education, however, huge companies don't want to people get knowledge, because if so, then these people will have opportunities and a perspective of future and will no more be treated as slaves of this cycle which just benefits the richest part of the society. Mark as edited and lock post In conclusion, it looks like that the reality that we are living, it's not too different than the last century, Modern Slavery is just another term to demonstrate what society has been doing all over this time, using people in benefit of those who get the power, turning us into marionettes of the system and slaveries of our minds.

they taught us Who taught this lesson? Where is the historical and factual basis of this claim? Deliver an establishing foundation for this claim first. George Orwell said Not everyone is familiar with this person. Explain who he is and why his opinion as you state it, is important tp the discussion. so we keep fighting each other as they want us to do. What is this assumption based on? Where is the establishing fact and evidence that proves that we are historically wired to fight due to inadequacy? How does this claim relate to slavery in modern times? The movie "In time" showed us how Good sample and explanation. huge companies don't want to people get knowledge This is once again, an unfounded claim that has no basis in reality. If people do not gain knowledge and evolve as a capitalist society, our society will cease to exist. Your arguments are not based on facts or research.

## Importing food from different parts of the world ***Today many countries import food from different parts of the world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.*** In this days and ages, with the flourishing of international commerce, even goods like food and consumables are being imported by many countries all over the world. While some people may hold an unfavourable view towards this change, I fully believe that this is a positive development. On the one hand, it is understandable why imported food receives such objections. First and foremost, in order to travel from one country to another, food ingredients such as vegetables and fish need a large number of preservatives to maintain their freshness and remove the risks of being spoiled in the transportation process. However, the overuse of chemical additives has been scientifically proven to pose long-term threats to people's health, and too much preservative intake can lead to many cardiovascular diseases, including stomach aches or food poisoning. Additionally, because of tariff and import duties, the market prices of foreign food are always significantly higher than the native ones, thus making them inaccessible to the poor. Be that as it may, I'm convinced that imported food should not be ignored for certain reasons. First of all, the increasing diversity of food provides consumers with more options of exotic tastes and experiences that local people have not had previously. For example, in today's society, it is effortless for Vietnamese people to savour foreign delicacies such as cherry from Australia or Blue Berries from Europe. Moreover, food exportation has been a major source of income for many countries all over the world, including Vietnam, as the third-world country can export their rare and surplus food to other parts of the world in exchange for foreign money, which can help to boost their economy. Another point that is worth mentioning is that importing food can ensure a country with food stocks, which would help the country to scrap through in case of emergencies such as a tsunami or long-term drought where the agricultural areas have been seriously damaged. In conclusion, I believe that we would gain more than we lose if food is allowed to be imported from different parts of the world.

In this days and ages, This is a memorized phrase that does not help enhance the score for the presentation. Had you started immediately with the second sentence, you would have received an immediate score boost in the ta section. I fully believe that this is a positive development. As well as you did in the restatement section, this opinion, which changes the original discussion instruction will cause the ta section to fail. The reason? An incorrect response format. You were asked to give a general, non personal opinion based advantage v. disadvatage discussion. You are instead discussing a personal positive or negative opinion. You changed the discussion instruction. Prompt fail.

Would you please give feedback on my writing? Thank you so much! ## Destination of graduates and postgraduates in UK The bar chart indicates the number of UK graduate and post-graduate students in four different destinations after leaving college in 2008. we can see that the most of graduates and postgraduates in the UK decided to study further in 2008. Besides, voluntary work was not the common choice of those who finished college. Almost 30,000 graduate students kept studying more after they graduated by the year 2008. The number of students having part-time jobs was nearly equal to the quantity of those who were unemployed, at 17,735 and 16,235 students respectively, while volunteers were just 3500 students after college. On the other hand, the majority of postgraduates took part-time works (2,535 students) and further education (2,725 students) in 2008, which are the highest figures shown on the second chart. Similar to graduate students, only 345 UK postgraduate students did voluntary work, whereas unemployed students were much higher with 1625 students. *

four different destinations Incorrect phrase usage. You are unfamiliar with the definition of a destination. A destinatiion is defined as the place to which a person or thing travels or is sent. In this case, the graduates are not sent to any of the 4 areas. Rather, these are occupations or work oppotunities that they seek out upon graduation or leaving school. Correct word usage is important for 2 things: - It shows your proper knowledge of English vocabulary - It lessens the changes of LR deductions in that scoring section. This section is concerned with correct word usage, based on the definition of the word we can The first letter of the first word must be capitalized as per English grammar writing rules. That is because it signifies the start of a sentence or thought presentation.

## IELTS Writing Task 2 - socialize online Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? It is now becoming a trend that people prefer to meet virtually instead of physically. In my opinion, this will lead to a negative development which can cause to several negative impacts in the future. The main reason people should not meet virtually is that they will lack of social activities that often seen beneficial for one's development. For instance, children at young age need to socialize in order to practice their emotional intelligence and also get to know about the real world. When children socialize virtually, they tend not to pay attention of what is happening and they also do not have ability to stay focus in front of a gadget for a long period of time. Another reason is that socializing in person allows people to freely socialize and express their ideas or opinions out there. Furthermore, it is often perceived that face to face socialization helps people get rid of boredom and become happier as they will be laughing or joking during the socializing. Unlike online socializing, people can only exchange information but can not express feeling much which often make them feel isolated. Besides, socializing online often leads people to confusion and misunderstanding. This is due to people have their own way of delivering and receiving information. Furthermore, the misunderstanding can also cause to manipulative information or hoax that will bring disadvantage to certain group of people. To conclude, socializing online is not as positive as socializing face to face and result in several negative impact to the people. It is better for people to socialize in person instead.

The essay is long enough but not within the correct number of paragraphs for this discussion. Since this is a single opinion presentation, it falls under the 4 paragraph presentation format: 1 prompt restatement + paraphrase 2 reasoning paragraphs 1 reverse paraphrase conclusion Therefore, this essay is overpresented by one paragraph. A score is provided for the way that the discussion is presented. You must learn to differentiate between the paragraph discussion types and provide only the appropriate number of reasoning paragraphs for each. Do not be overeager to write. Write too many words and you open yourself up to more accidental deductions. These deductions will then be due to the lack of proper proofreading and editing of your work. You need perfect presentations, not long presentations.

***Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*** There is no denying that with the wealth of information available on the Internet, students can study by themselves at home just as effectively they do at school, and therefore some people believe that schools are not needed anymore. To some extent, I agree that students can study well at home with the help of the Internet, I feel that schools still play a vital role in our society and cannot be replaced no matter what. On the one hand, the opinion to learning from the Internet is attractive for several reasons. First and foremost, most of which are either free or affordable for almost everywhere. One great way is from online newspaper and video websites such as National Geographic, Youtube, Khan Academic ... which offer a wide range of topic areas suitable for people of different ages. Children can gain a great deal of knowledge about history, culture, science and many other areas which they are taught at school. They also can participate in online courses favored by a growing number of youths nowadays. As a result, this type of learning is even more advantageous in the sense that children can flexibly choose to study whatever subjects or topics that they are interested in. Apart from the benefits above, I believe that formal education is irreplaceable in any society and country. It is true that students can acquire valuable knowledge at home very easily with the help of the Internet, however, the lack of teacher guidance and support is a clear disadvantage of this type of learning. For example, if students want to learn about history, there is a huge range of websites that furnish information about these topics. As a result, they may get confused and face many difficulties when choosing which one to read. Furthermore, knowledge and skills are not the only things to expect from formal school but social relationships and mental development. Children who go to school and establish friendships and can both have fun and improve their learning outcomes. To draw a conclusion, while there are some benefits to learning from the Internet at home, I am of the opinion that school is irrelevant to children's learning due to the fact that it can significantly increase their understanding as well as social skills.

Your prompt response is not on the mark. You are agreeing with both sides to some degree rather than choosing a single opinion to discuss in an expanded form. You cannot discuss both sides in a single opinion essay. The problem lies in the way that you formed your response. You indicated: To some extent, I agree that students can study well at home with the help of the Internet, I feel that schools still play a vital role in our society and cannot be replaced no matter what. The presentation is incorrect as I explained above. The reference must only be made to the discussion you will be using in your reasoning paragraphs, along with the basic reasoning for it. For example: *I strongly believe that schools cannot be replaced by the internet based on 2 specific reasons. (Indicate reasons 1 and 2 or 2 topics for discussion)* Since your reasoning paragraphs are also problematic, I will have to tell you that only the 2nd reasoning paragraph, the one that defends why schools cannot be replaced, will get a scoring consideration. That is because it is the only paragraph that supports the opinion you provided (schools cannot be replaced). Therefore, this essay will struggle to get a passing score. There are 2 problem areas, as I indicated above, which will lower the scoring basis for the presentation. Remember, when not asked to compare or discuss both views, you are expected to use only the single point of view defense / discussion. Otherwise, the essay will be deemed under developed / under explained, and receive low marks for it based on overall discussion considerations.

## Tourist Information Office - the quantity of questions asked [[The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011]] I can't upload the image on this post because of its size (too big:(((....). Please, you just need to correct my words, grammar,......, not data. Pleaseeee <3333 The provided line graphs present how many questions the Tourist Information Office received through direct questions, by letter/email, and by telephone during the period of six months in 2011. Overall, the quantity of questions asked in person and through telephone had an upward trend, while there was a gradual fall in that of enquiries written by letter/email throughout six months. Additionally, the whole period experienced a significant rise in the number of face-to-face questions. In January, the biggest number of questions was through telephone, standing at about 900, while the figure for questions in person was just over 400. Over the following three months witnessed a slight decline of 100 in the number of enquiries through email. By contrast, the statistic of face-to-face questions went up steadily to 800 in the month of March. During the period of the next four months, rapid increases were seen in the total number of questions in person and through telephone, to 1900 and 1600 respectively. However, the opposite was true for that of enquiries through email/letter, which dropped significantly to just under 400 in May. After that, it leveled off during the last month of the research period, finishing at the point which was four times lower than the quantity of telephone questions.

Your specific review requirements are not covered by our free review services. Please contact me privately to discuss the review fee in relation to your specific needs. The data you provide in the summary is incomplete. There is no reference to the 6 month coverage of the material you will be presenting. Aside from an appropriate image reference, you also need to specifically acknowledge the basis of the infomation presentation. Without that reference, the summary overview is incomplete. All you had to indicate was that the information was collated from January through June. Not that difficult to do is it? You also failed to acknowledge the face to face inquiries in the summary, thus making that presentation inaccurate and a highly incomplete summary. This is as far as the free review goes. My apologies but the users are not allowed to dictate how the free reviews will be conducted.

Hi Mrs Holt! Would you please give feedback for my writing? Thank you! ## IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - HOURS SPENT IN CHESTER The bar chart illustrates the amount of hours the teenagers in Chester spend in a week for doing activities between 2002 and 2007. Overall, the most popular activity among the teenagers was watching the TV. On the other hand, bowling accounted for the lowest amount of hours the teenagers spent. Furthermore, as shown on the figure, other activities were spent at the average. In 2007, teenagers spent time going to pubs for over 15 hours as the highest. Among all activities, bowling was the least amount of hours spent which only reached slightly above 0 in 2007. Meanwhile, the amount of hours spent on shopping climbed steadily every year and reach its highest at 15 hours in 2007. In terms of homework, the amount of hours spent dropped every year to its lowest of just over 5 hours in 2007. Similarly, as years went by the teenagers spent less amount hours on sports and the lowest amount was above 0 in 2007. The amount of hours teenagers watching DVDs increased to its peak at below 20 after which decreased to its lowest at 10 hours. *

Hello, please heed the warning that I sent you privately. You have one more chance with me. The presentation is well grouped and well developed in terms of information presentation, but only for one year. The comparative analysis is a bit on the short side. You are focused only on the factual reporting of the data with little comparisons provided. Your essay is focused solely on the 2007 data. There is no comparison of the various years provided. You did not mention any of the other years (2002, 2006, etc.). So the comparative discussion can be considered faulty. You are only providing a report of one specific year. A clear comparison based on the years indicated in the chart is missing. The missing data was caused by the lack of proper grouping in your presentation. Aside from grouping per related activity, you should have also represented the years by group. That means creating a summarized comparison for the years 2002-2004, then 2005-2007 for the grouped activities. By comparing the years by group, you will be able to present a clear comparative analysis of the factual trend for each grouped activity, adding to the clear comparative analysis of the report you presented. Note that your reporting paragraphs focused on 2007 alone. You cannot use the compressed trending statement to replace the group analysis and reporting requirements as that is not based on factual data from the image.

## expenditures on advertising in UK's car companies The table illustrates how much money was spent with the aim of advertising in terms of four categories: press, cinema, outdoor, radio and television of four car firms in the UK during 2003. Overall, while the expenditure on TV for advertising was the highest, the lowest can be seen in cinema. By summing the number of millions of dollars in each row, further insight can be found from the data. Renault came top of the list on account of having the largest volume of money used for advertising, at 132 million dollars. Meanwhile, Rover Vauxhall and Cetirizine invested the same amount of money, precisely 100 million dollars in marketing the products. As can be seen, it is 15 million dollars that four car enterprises allocated on radio. The marketing strategies of Renault and Rover mainly concentrated on press and TV, when Renault spent 45 million dollars for press, 59 million dollars for TV and Rover paid 38 million dollars for press and 45 million dollars for TV. Meanwhile, Vauxhall and Cetirizine employed television as a dominant way of advertising, at 65 and 75 millions of dollars in turn. On the contrary, the expenditure on cinema incurred the smallest figure. There was 6 and 5 millions of dollars allocated by Renault and Vauxhall on cinema in terms of advertising, whereas there was almost no money spent on by the rest. * *This is a table for wirting*

You should really try to seperate your information presentation for the summary. There is a heavy emphasis on the clarity of your information sharing in this section so individual data sharing per sentence gets a higher consideration than a compressed data presentation. Compare your version with the following: *A table has been presented comprised of 4 data divisions. There is a data row indicating 4 car companies that pay for advertising. This is followed by 4 columns composed of advertising types. The advertising types which are paid for in the millions of dollars are comprised of press, cinema, outdoor, radio, and TV. Overall, the trend shows the highest spending on TV, while the lowest spending was on cinema advertising.* Notice how the individualized sentences offer a clearer summary explanation of the presented data. It is concise but complete, and contains a proper trending analysis that basically, delivers a full overview of the given data. The rest of the report is acceptable but too long. Try to keep the paragraphs concise. While you do stay within the sentence requirement per paragraph, you are not using a summarized form of comparison and analysis reporting so there is a possibility that you will go over the 20 minute writing allowance. Resulting in 226 words being written. That is more than the 200 word advised maximum word count. If you write in the following time allotted manner, you will find that you cannot write more than 200 words. 5 minutes - image analysis 10 minutes - Comparison analysis and reporting draft writing 5 minutes - Proof reading and final content writing The proof reading and final content writing are important because that is when you spot your errors in terms of TA and GRA requirements, allowing you to correct any score lessening problems your essay may have.

## Tourist Information Office in numbers The line graphs delineates how many questions were received by the Tourist Information Office in the particular city from January to June in 2011. Overall, there was an increase in the number of inquiries in person and by telephone received by the Tourist Information Office, while the figure for letters or mails became the less common choice. In addition, the number of queries through letters or emails was generally the lowest figure throughout the given period. From January to March in 2011, about 950 inquiries in person were received by the Tourist Information Office in January, with subsequent decrease to reach the lowest point at exactly 800 queries in February, and a final progressive increase to 1000 enquiries in March. The figure for r dungletters or mails saw an opposite change, but to a large extent, dropping from 800 inquiries to 700 inquiries in the first three-month period. Meanwhile, the number of enquiries made in person was at just under 800 in January, followed by a significant growth from 800 to 1000 from February to March, surpassing the figure for telephone. Regarding April to June, the number of queries in person received by the Tourist Information Office started at approximately 900 queries, after which it experienced a dramatic rise to 1400 in May, before ending the period at roughly 1600. Opposite changes can be seen in the figure for emails or letters, which decreased from 500 to 390 from April to June. Meanwhile, the number of inquiries made in person was at just under 1300 in April, followed by a significant increase from 1600 to 1800 during the last three-month period. *

Remember that the time limit for this writing task is 20 minutes and the word count is between 175-200 words for maximum scoring potential. You wrote 273 words, a word count and essay presentation more suitable to a task 2 essay that has a 250 minimum word count and 40 minutes for the writing task. This essay is overwritten and cannot be completed within the time allowance during an actual test. This is the first and foremost problem with this presentation. You need to keep your 3 paragraph presentation short, summarized, but analyzed. Practice writing without over extending the presentation using filler words. Shorten the sentences. Focus on short analytical presentations so as not to overwrite and, in the process, run out of writing time. I will end my review at this point. I do not believe that it will be fair to assess your work when it does not fall within the correct word count requirement. I have to be fair in judging your work. I can only do that if you provide the correct writing format for this task.

## *In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime.* **Many people believe that installing CCTV cameras is the best way to prevent crimes from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree?** There is often an argument that while many people consider CCTV cameras as an effective tool to eliminate illegality, others concern that they can have negative impact on people's privacy. Although it is partly true that video cameras may cause some uncomfort, my opinion is that the advantages of installing them outweigh the disadvantages. On one hand, there are many benefits of improving security by using CCTV cameras, and cautioning others about surrounding dangers is one of them. They can warn people if there are any unusual actions or suspicious individuals nearby, so everyone can take necessary measures to prevent their properties or even their lives. Moreover, because many crimes when realizing that they are followed by these devices also have to give up their illegal thinking, a lot of dangerous cases are not permitted to happen. Another advantage of installing video cameras in public places is that they can provide accurate evidences of criminal cases, since they can record images or videos with specific dates. These cameras also play an important role in supporting police to find out and arrest culprits. On the other hand, security cameras may bring some negative effects that need to be considered. Firstly, it is undeniable that installing these equipments in public places can immediately affect individual's privacy, regardless whether they are relevant to cases. Many people often feel uncomfortable to be observed and recorded by these devices. Besides this, setting up CCTV devices cannot completely protect people's safety as there are still some offenders successfully escaped from police. Someone also suggests other effective methods to prevent themselves including alarm bells and patrolmen, and think that using video recorders in public places is not too essential and compulsory. In conclusion, even though using video cameras in public areas can make people feel inconvenient, my belief is that we can receive many more benefits than drawbacks from them.

This essay failed to provide a correct restatement + opinion paragraph. It has already failed the test based on 2 reasons: - incorrect restatement - inapplicable discussion presentation / wrong response foremat. Let me show you your errors so that you can better understand why this is a failing essay based on the TA requirements: Original Topic: In many cities, the use of video cameras ... in order to reduce crime. Your Topic: There is often an argument ...effective tool to eliminate illegality Incorrect Aspect: The reference to an argument, when the topic was not based on an argument but an idea. Original Discussion Question: To what extent ... Your Response: my opinion is that the advantages of installing them outweigh the disadvantages. Incorrect Aspect: Changing the discussion from an extent response (agree or disagree) to an advantage v. disadvantage consideration. This is a clear prompt alteration that made the response format incorrect. Result: Failing TA score The discussion went from a single opinion defense to a comparative discussion as well. Thus creating an error in the reasoning response presentation as well. The overall essay does not have a single correct or applicable discussion consideration, presentation, or reasoning attached to it. The examiner can only score this based on a non-related response scenario, resulting in a failing task score.

Hi Mrs Holt. Would you please give feedback on my personal statement? I would really appreciate it. Thank you. ## Personal Statement essay Having a chance to study first degree was one of the things I'm grateful. I was taking X course and later on concentrated in International Trade. The moment I realized that I was extremely into this course was when my lecturer played Crash classes. Starting from that point, I was hunted of my curiosity and wanted to know more about International Trade up until now. A significant turning point was when I read the news that the officials in my hometown made a statement that they wanted to export our local finished foods directly from X Island. However, due to lack of proper knowledge and basic understanding about exporting, they are facing a problem. Thus, I wish I could get a deeper understanding by taking Msc in International Trade, Strategy, and Operations offered at Warwick Manufacturing Group. A subject in university back then called X also interested me to learn more about International Trade. I have learnt vigorous things from this subject. One of them is what called as correspondence, the crucial concept in export-import. This concept made me familiar with exporting and importing. To enhance our understanding of the subject, my friends and I had a project where we developed our own business and want to export the product. I proposed to sell coffee as our product and we decided Finland as our country destination of exporting. Besides, I also did a marketing strategy using the four P's in which I explained more detail about the product, place, promotion, and price. I mentioned that our coffee was offered in a small sachet to ease bringing them anywhere such as during travel. The target market place is X where I mentioned that this kind of market was the easiest place customers can reach. I realized that technology played a big role nowadays and could reach wider audience so I decided to promote our business through online advertising. Since we wanted all customers at all level of income could enjoy our product, I decided to set the price of our coffee preferably cheap. Besides, we also constructed the promotion and inquiry letter, offer and order sheet, as well as sales contract. This project, not only has increased my understanding but also developed my teamwork, research and critical thinking skill in which I believe those skills are relevant and useful for ITSO master program. My journey working as a procurement officer in X company has become a medium for me to apply what I've learnt during first degree. At this company I was responsible to procure small stones of diamonds from our suppliers abroad including Hong Kong, India and Singapore. We imported the materials to our country through a third-party transportation company called X. . Initially, the exporting companies send their offer sheets and I later on would send them back an order sheet alongside asking for the final prices. Besides, as an importer, I also contributed to do market research through internet website such as X. Despite the fact that the company I worked in is a local company from Indonesia, I perceived some international aspects on the way we imported materials and it made me interested to learn in deep about this especially on how to determine the correct delivery mechanism and transportation. To develop my skill, I also constantly learn more about this course by joining X Community, an Indonesia community that primarily discuss about export and import. This ITSO master program is in line with my education background. This course is designed with the aim to prepare the students understand the practice of how international trade operates and I wish I could be well-prepared by studying this course. My future goal is to be an export specialist and work in an international company as well with the hope to successfully cultivate my learning in the professional field. To help the socitey, I also like to involve in X Training Center where I could contribute as one of the trainers in there and teach small and medium businesses to expand their businesses to cross-border countries. I would like to share what I've learnt at WMG to them through seminars, workshops, or classes. I am intrigued to teach in least developed cities where the access to information about export-import is highly limited. Therefore, I believe that studying ITSO course at WMG woud hone my understanding and skills needed for my future career.

I wish I could get a deeper understanding What exactly is your current job? Use that current job reference as the platform for your interest in the announcement by the government, then relate it directly to the course as being the moving factor for you based on reasons that you will be discussing throughout the essay. Work less on your academic experience under the first course. Summarize that. Since you are applying for a masters course, your current job requirements should be the basis of your interest in the course. Your skills development lacks a more effective presentation and discussion. This aspect will be of high importance to your application since it should explain how your current job has prepared you to accomplish the masters course requirements and also, helps the reviewer assess if you have any unique exposure or professional qualities that could add to the other students learning experience by having you participate in the class. Right now, the essay does not connect effectively in terms of applicant skills considerations. Maybe because you are too focused on using the undergraduate course as your qualifier when it should be work exposure, professional needs, and future trends that should be the driving force of your application. You need to also, relate more to the subjects and university in relation to your learning needs.

## The data of communication services usage The line graph illustrates the proportion of individuals who utilized five different communication services, namely landline, internet, mobile broadband, cellular phone, and fixed broadband over a period of ten years, starting in 1998. Overall, it can be clearly seen that there has been some growth in all the services over the 10-year period, especially the cellular phone service, which witnessed the highest growth in users and has become the most popular form of communication. In 1998, the proportion of landline service users was the highest, at 15%. This method of communication remained quite stable. However, in 2008, the number of customers who utilized landline service declined to 10% of customers. By contrast, the figure for cellular phones witnessed an escalating trend that started at 5% in 1998 and skyrocketed to 60% in 2008. Similar to the cellular field, online communication rose progressively by 15% to reach its highest point at 20 users per 100 people, surpassing the number of landline service customers in 2006 and more than this method of communication by 10% in 2008. In 2002, mobile and fixed broadband had to be introduced. The figure for these services increased slightly, to nearly 3% of inhabitants for each service in 2008. Throughout the period given, the rank of the most attractive services utilized by dwellers changed significantly, with cellular service standing first, followed by internet service and landline service, and finally mobile and fixed broadband service, which was the least popular service. *

While I understand that it is easier for you to write a compressed sentence for the summary overviww, the formst you have chosen to represent your summary does not fully allow for summary clarity due to the confusing flow of information. Too much information is being preented in the single sentence that normally, should be divided into at least 3 sentences. In this case, the more relaxed and easier to remember summary would have been: Sentence 1 - Image type and discussion focus Sentence 2: Listing of image information Sentence 3: Start and ending point of the measurement Sentence 4: Measurement type Sentence 5: Trending sentence (if a paragraph is not necessary) A sentence is normally considered more informative by the reader when it presents one stand alone piece of information to the reader, within a related paragraph presentation. That is because the information becomes scannable and easier to memorize for the reader When compared to a run -on sentence, the possibility of a confusing grammar presentation is avoided and, a better score can be given to the exam taker. starting in 1998. Although you did mention a decade coverage for the presentation, the mere fact that the starting and ending months are mentioned in the image itself requires you to present the end date as well. Again, this is for clarity purposes and in deference to people who may not have the time to count 10 years as they read your prsentation. Yes, it seems to be a dumbed down way of presenting the information. However, in a task 1 essay, which is based on clear data reporting, informing the reader about highly specific information helps increase your overall score due to the proper use of information and presentation clarity within the paragraphs. There is a part of this report that requires you to make comparisons where relevant. The overlapping information from 2002 should have been reported in the presentation as an equivalency point where the measurement for landline and cellular phone services were equally represented. That is a pivotal measurement point that you should have mentioned as a part of a proper analysis if the image.

## adult education centre participants **The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.** The two charts reveal information about the quantity and a various range of age proportion of pedestrians in both sexes enrolling courses for different purposes at a mature centre in the evening in 2009. In general, there is a striking number of women participating in linguistical classes, whereas the quantity of gentlemen joining painting courses is extraordinary. Following that, as can be seen from the pie chart, people aged above 50 are more likely to attend the courses than the others. Regarding the bar chart, there were many females, precisely 40, enjoying studying language at an adult centre, which was far more exceeded than those who attended painting course. This figure also illustrated that it was double that of the drama course. In the meantime, the number of males taking up drama and sculpture courses was the lowest amongst four classes, exactly 10, which was also just a half of that taking up a linguistical class. Finally, Painting was the most favourite class that men often enrolled with the quantity being around 25. Concerning the pie chart, the proportion of people who were above 50 years old, attending evening classes took account of 42%, which was nearly double of those aged from 40 to 49. On the other hand, only 5% of people aged under 20 attended courses in the evening, which was approximately a half and a third of those who were from 20 to 29, and 30 to 39. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. Hope that you would have a nice day. *

Kindly refer to the original prompt description and instruction for clarification of the summary overview content of your work. Note that the images were identified separate in terms of image representation and content. Therefore, your prompt restatement + trending statement should reflect the original presentation. You did not individually identify the images and related content. You incorrectly identified the images as both graphs, rather than a bar graph and a pie chart, as per the original. This section is already going to be given a failing score for misidentifying the images and incorrectly relating the image information in your restatement. Although you identify a pie chart in your trending statement, it should first be identified as such in the image identifier sentence of the restatement section.

## School Uniform Policy School uniform has become an endless discussion over the years. It is believed that students ought to wear school costumes in the academic environment. But many others argue that children should be allowed to wear what they want, what makes them feel comfortable. I totally agree that wearing school clothes is a wonderful thing in their childhood and they had better apparel it. First of all, uniforms create uniformity among students, a disciplined environment. Each school designs school's costume with its meaning and different feelings of pride. Therefore, when wearing the uniforms, students also comprehend that they always need to make effort to glorify their school's name. Otherwise, putting on a uniform also contributes to the discipline of each student from an early age. That is a significant virtue for very human. Furthermore, school clothes built up an equal environment among students. There is no distinction between them when they apparel the same costume. No matter who they are, come from the wealthy family or the casual income one, they are all identical; having the duplicate chance to acquire knowledge, confidently show their abilities. Besides, the white shirt is also a symbol for the student, a childhood with many emotions, experiences at the very first stage of life. When going through that time, uniforms remind us of our academic path, which is the happiest, most naive period of our life. In conclusion, this essay acknowledges that wearing uniforms plays a meaningful role at school. Not only does it create an equal environment, but it is also a good habit for students. It brings students several benefits that we cannot able to deny.

In the prompt restatement, you need to be just as specific as the original prompt when referring to the original discussion basis which is "high school uniforms". Word equivalents should be used to give proper acknowledgement to the premise of the discussion. The equivalent for high school is "secondary education" and uniforms could be attire, dress, or livery. That way the Lexical Resource knowledge of the student can be given an early high assessment in relation to the prompt. Now, the discussion asks the writer to consider which policy is the best one, not whether he agrees or disagrees with the policies (to an extent). So the response of the writer veered away from the provided discussion consideration. While you did agree or disagree, the correct response format was not utilized (which one you believe to be the correct policy and why). The essay will get a weak TA score due to the existing errors in accuracy and presentation. You will receive good marks for properly using the discussion reference in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. These are acceptable enough and provide enough of a connection between discussion points to be deemed cohesive. It shows a clear understanding of the prompt. So I guess it was only the lack of English word knowledge that adversely affected the prompt restatement + opinion paragraph? The concluding summary is acceptable as well. It uses a totally different method of presenting the prompt restatement, the writer's opinion, and the supporting reasons. It should do well in helping improve your final score.As a final note, please work on developing your sentence presentation skills. Although these remain understandable, the lack of proper sentence formation has a tendency to be scored down by the examiner. Focus on connecting word usage in a proper manner.

Hello, there. I am currently preparing my IELTS writing exam, but I am lack of skills of elaboration, and I am practicing on it. Would you please help me check if the paragraph good to convince others, is the logic right? Many thanks! ## How the Internet affect one's critical thinking? There are always fake news on the internet which may have negative impacts on one's critical thinking. It is because the government cannot supervise and monitor what people are posting online every moument. This allows people to post things online freely, whatever they want to express, thereby, some of the information they posted in public may be exaggerated the details of which is not true and involve some personal emotions, which would be the negative feelings like hate and jealousy, and convince people to believe it is true. For example, during the pandemic, some people refused to wearing masks because they personally do not prefer it, and they make up with some harmful effects led by wearing masks, or worse cause asphyxiation, and post them online; but in fact, wearing mask does reduce the risk of getting infection of the Covid-19. Spreading those kinds of information can manipulate people feelings and views, which would make them cannot judge and criticize things based on truth or without emotions, because, as human being, we cannot avoid to get influences from others. Thus, the result would be reduction of the individual ability of critical thinking because of manipulation from the internet.

The reasoning is good. The evidence presented is based on public knowledge, the slant supports a clear opinion. The work is acceptable and on point in support of a clear opinion coming from the writer. However, you tend to overwrite in your sentences, which lessens the clarity and discussion focus. Keeping the sentences concise will help you avoid doing that. The formation of your sentences also need some work because the words used are sometimes incomplete or incorrect in the sentence. However, these do not lessen the understanding of the work. You still manage to avoid confusing your reader so your GRA deductions will be less as well. That is not to say that you should not try to write perfect English sentences because you should. That is one of the aims of this test, to see how well you use the English language in explaining your thoughts even though it is only your second language.

## studying language live Some people suppose countries English being their mother tongue have the best environment to study this international language, but there are also different ways to master English. From my perspective, I am in support of the statement that not only people living in English-speaking countries can polish this language. It is undeniable that getting exposed to an English-speaking environment can promote your accent and fluency. A person spending most of his life in England, for instance, speaks this universal language more naturally and fluently than the one living in Asian countries. That is why some language centres having native speakers can attract more students than others. Secondly, communicating with the locals frequently helps the learners think and speak in English instead of translating for their mother language. Gradually, English becomes their second language but a compulsory one. Despite the strengths that studying in an English-speaking country have on the table, this way of learning seems to be more suitable for the youngster whose adaptability is better. Adults or the elder who have spoken their language for a long time find it difficult to remember and digest all the vocabulary and definitions in English, so they need some guidance in their mother tongues. Moreover, with the development of cutting-edge technology, people now can easily get access to websites allowing users to connect with native speakers. By this, I mean that people can have their speaking skills improved by practising. In conclusion, an English-based environment seems to be the best for studying English, but you can also improve your skills in other ways and by practising.

In truth, your restatement is a bit off target when compared to the original. The idea behind the original is that there are various ways to learn to speak the English language. Your presentation asserts that not only people living in English-speaking countries can polish this language. So, there is a slight difference in your prompt understanding and restatement but, your response opinion creatively responds to the provided question. That said, there will be some deductions applied to the prompt restatement, but the response essay score should remain untouched. Your reasoning paragraphs do not support your opinion for the most part. So expect to get a failing score when it comes to correct prompt response format considerations. You are focusing on how English is best learned in an English country, when your response said there were other ways to learn the language. Sadly, the part that applies to your opinion, the development of cutting-edge technology... improved by practising. This is the response that should have been developed over 2 paragraphs. The advent of technology and how it assists in language learning, along with another reason, such as learning English at local English language learning centers, would have been the most appropriate and best scoring reasoning methods for your opinion. The essay fails in responding to the task for the most part. It is not, in my opinion, a passing score essay because of the prompt topic alteration and the majority of the non-opinion supporting paragraphs. You have to remember that your reasoning paragraph score will be based on how well you defend your opinion. That means, you do not make any mention of the opposing opinion. Focus only supporting and strengthening your opinion paragraphs because this is a single opinion essay.

## **Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university** These days many people decide to take a job for a few years to get some experience before going to university and I think this is a good idea. However, there are also a number of disadvantages for people to do that. First of all, working after school can help students get practical experiences ready to go to the academy. For example, if people want to major in marketing in the university, they can take a part-time job in a store or café shop where they can get close with many customers and know exactly what customers want. Moreover, for someone who hasn't known what discipline they will study in university can be easier to find out their true passion. Or students who are not rich also earn an amount of money to help their parents prepare for studying in university. In the other hand, when students stop to work can forgot theoretical knowledge they studied in secondary and high school, for instance Vietnamese students spent 12 years of life to study in school and if they rest for a few years, then they will not remember it clearly and I think it extremely difficult for them when study in university. Furthermore, they are not mature enough to work in adult-lifestyle and sometimes they will be influenced by bad people around them like gambling, drug addiction and so on. To sum up, there are both positives and negatives of having a one-year gap between high school and college. One helps students numerous more things in the future and in the other ways might ruin their whole life.

I think this is a good idea. Why are you presenting a personal opinion when the prompt does not call for it? The original discussion instruction just asks you to present the advantages and disadvantages of the topic in 2 paragraphs. Nowhere does it as "Do you agree or disagree?" or "Give your opinion". Where none of these 2 instructions are present, no personal opinion is necessary. The reasoning paragraphs suffer from a convincing debate development. Both paragraphs lack proper explanation and supporting evidence for the reasons provided. Do not offer more than 2 (dis)advantages per paragraph. The scoring basis of these paragraphs will focus on the connectivity and relevance of the discussion points. So reason 1 must be related to reason 2, with the supporting examples and explanations giving credence to both provided reasons. The presentations in your paragraphs fail to make those connections. The reasoning paragraphs are weak and severely under developed. You were off to a good start in the concluding summary. However, towards the end, there was an unproven claim that one of the 2 discussion points would ruin a person's life. This is an exaggerated and personal claim not really supported in the given discussions. Since this is a mere restatement of the topic and discussion points, any semblance of a personal opinion or obvious exaggerations should be avoided.

**Question:** *Nowadays most green energy is becoming ever more prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security.* ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. **My essay:** In this day and age, there are many competing arguments about the effects of increasingly using renewable energy over the world. Some people claim that the trend is detrimental to the security of supplying energy on a global scale, while I believe that its advantages are more significant for both citizens and the environment. On the one hand, there are several reasons to support the idea that environmentally friendly energy is less reliable for the energy demand of people. The main reason is that many green energy technologies depend on changeable and unpredictable phenomena such as wind, rain and cloud cover. Solar energy, for instance, depends on the frequency of sunlight at where the panels are placed, therefore, a few days of cloudy could result in a blackout if our main energy source is solar power. Otherwise, there would be not sufficient area for installing a field of solar panels or wind turbine farms in order to ensure energy for all activities of citizens in a region, resulting in a lower limit of power generated compared to other kinds of energy. On the other hand, in my opinion, the benefits of renewable energy could offset the drawbacks above. Firstly, the sources of green energy, including sunlight, wind, water and so forth, are infinite. Using those kinds of energy could save a large sum of looking out for new sources of fossil fuel. Secondly, alternative energy also generates almost no harmful chemical wastes and emissions, such as carbon dioxide, in the production processes. Therefore, reducing environmental pollution as well as improving human health in the long run. In conclusion, although green energy is a threat to energy security, I believe that this type of energy could greatly mitigate the costs and is much better for our environment. (296 words) **/Thanks in advance!/**

Okay, if you want to use the 2 reasoning paragraph option for this discussion then you need to use the correct written debate format for it. That means, you first discuss the public opinion, giving the supporting reasons for it, then, in the same paragraph, explain why you agree or disagree with the option. You cannot use one paragraph for one general discussion then move on to your personal opinion. Given the general discussion presentation in this essay, you appear to be delivering your personal opinion rather than an analysis of the public reason. That is because of the lack of proper point of view referencing based on the "Some people" and "others" discussion references from the original prompt. This is an invalid discussion format that does not clearly address the prompt discussion instruction. A clear comparison discussion must be presented for both reasons representing the strength and weakness of each public opinion, with your personal opinion addressing what you think of each public consideration in each paragraph. That will indicate that you truly analyzed the points for discussion based on public and personal perceptions. This essay is only partially correct in presentation format. It offers a general and personal discussion that may or may not be scored highly by the examiner based on the task accuracy requirements.

## IELTS Writing task 1 mixed Question: The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009; the second compares the percentage of trains running on time and target in the period. **My essay:** The line graph at the top depicts the number of train riders from 2000 to 2009 while the line graph below compares the proportion of trains that run on time to the target. Overall, it is clear that the number of people who use trains remains relatively stable throughout the period. In addition, the percentage of trains that run punctually falls below the target most of the time. The number of people using trains rose moderately from around 35 million to around 45 million passengers. In the following years, the figure fell slightly from 45 million to 40 million users then rose to just above 40 million users Regarding the second line graph, the proportion of trains running on time rose considerably from 92% to 96% in 2004, rose above the target line. The figure then fell by 5% in 2006, which makes it below the target. The proportion of trains running on time rose above the target line again in 2008 at 97% then remain steady until the end of the period. (173 words) *

Rather than saying "The image on top" and "The image at the bottom", refer to the titles of the images only. Positioning on the page does not matter as much as the accurate explanation of what the images depict. That is because the assumption is that you are writing a report and as such, the positioning on the page does not carry any importance. I applaud how you properly chose and reported on the trend for each image. The separation of trends is evident and creates an easy to understand measurement path for the individual images. The reporting paragraphs could use a better and more efficient analysis of the presentation. The ideal reporting sentence number is 3, no more than 5. That is because the report becomes clearer using individual sentence analysis and comparison discussions. Your writing portrays a compressed analysis and very little comparison, when there is room for a better analysis and comparative discussion presentation based on the images provided. Overall, the report is acceptable. It is simple and direct to the point and may score well in an actual setting considering it has 173 words. This score can be improved even further by writing up to 200 words. Do not be afraid to do a more comprehensive reporting job. It is the way that you understand the image and report on it that will help you get a higher score. You will be able to create a more cohesive and coherent report through the proper and more complex use of words and sentence formations.

## IELTS Task 1 Pie Chart and Table Task1: *The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.* The pie chart shows what destination of anthropology graduates from one university took after graduating from their degree courses, the table compares the salaries the anthropologists received after five-years work in three different types of employment: freelance consultants, government sector and privates companies . Overall, the majority Anthropology students chose to work after graduation, and the anthropologists who worked in government sector relatively earned higher incomes than other types of employment. In the pie chart, over half of graduated anthropology students worked full time, accounting for the most significant percentage, while only 5% of them continued to study postgraduate degree and working part-time at the same time. The percentage of part-time workers, which was similar with unemployed's counterpart, occupied the second significant at 15%, compared with just 8% in both factors of full-time postgrad-study and not-known. As shown in table, most of anthropologists in government sector earned over 100,000 dollar, at 50%, while the least at 20% in salaries between $25,000 and $74,999. Meanwhile, the freelance consultants were overwhelmingly employed in the upper pay scales at 40% in both $75,000 - $99,999 and $100,000+, the remainders were same as the government sector. However, in private companies, only 30% of employees payed over $100,000, and over half of them received lower payment under $74,999. *

The task 1 essay and the task 2 essay have different word count requirements. The Task 1 essay requires you to write no more than 200 words since you only have 20 minutes to complete the task. That means, you cannot allot more than 10 minutes to the drafting of the essay, 5 minutes to write it, and another 5 minutes to revise and finalize. You have written 226 words, the essay is over written. The paragraphs needs to be more concise. That means, using lesser words to explain yourself within 3-5 sentences. Since you are watching YouTube vidoes for your tutorial, I am surprised you have not come across this lesson yet. By the way, this will be the last review you will receive from me. As an educational consultant, I avoid confusing the students who are already learning from other tutors, in this case, your YouTube teachers. Giving you a seperate set of instructions, that may or may not be the same as the videos you are watching will not be beneficial to your learning process. Neither will I alter my advising / teaching style to suit the method you have already learned. Nor will I tell you why the videos might be right or wrong. It is all about personal teaching styles. So, this will be the last review you will receive from me. While you do have the option to choose between generic YouTube tutorials or targeted improvement advice from me, I am guessing you prefer to use the YT videos since you have indicated in other posts where you advise other students that the advice from the videos have been very helpful to you. Thus negating the authority of the advice I give students as the resident educational consultant here. You have implied to other users here that you do not believe you are getting effective advice from me so I will no longer waste my time helping you.

## age competition among the young and old In recent years, the labour market is becoming more remarkably competitive than before, with the competition between the different ages in search of the same jobs. There are a number of problems that can explain this trend; some solutions need to be implemented to tackle these potential problems. The chief problem is the employee's real experience. It is obvious that older candidates possess a richer source of experience compared to the younger counterparts who are struggling to find a secure job after graduation. Therefore, recruiters have preferences in hiring aged people which leads to the shortage of work for young generations in job hunting. In addition, the workforce is less productive. Junior workers tend to be more energetic and dynamic; in contrast, the senior workers may have lower levels of productivity due to their health problems or timetables for child rearing. However, there are a range of possible options to solve the problems. One effective way to deal with this is governments should implement new regulations to decrease the retirement age. Therefore, young generations may alleviate competitive pressures on landing a job. Another answer is that enterprises ought to use both junior and senior employees to create a diversified working environment. Two age groups have the opportunity to learn skills as well as knowledge with each other . This contributes to bringing huge benefits for their firms. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to solve the problems caused by the competition between old generations and younger counterparts.

Good work on the creative prompt restatement that totally changed the word usage from the original, without changing the topic focus. It is clear that you are referring to the age competition among the young and old. You clearly understood how the rephrasing should be presented to the examiner. However, you failed to provide convincing opinion thesis statements because, rather than responding to the questions provided, you offered a repeat of the questions instead. By repeating the instructions, you did not provide your clear opinion in relation to the 2 discussion questions provided. There are supposed to be 2 discussion topic references that should tie in with your forthcoming explanation paragraphs. So you will recieve points for the restatement, but will not receive enough point considerations for the thesis statements due to the lack of its proper representation in the paragraph. You have very strong discussion paragraphs that clearly and appropriately represent the problems and solutions as required. There is a clear relationship between the discussion paragraphs as well. The topics presented are coherent and cohesive. Good work. You stayed on track regarding both discussion questions and developed these ideas in a manner that increases your overall score. Word usage was simple, but applicable to the discussion. You did not seek to impress the examiner with advanced English words used out of context. The simplicity of your discussion is the overall strength of this presentation. The conclusion is problematic though. You wrote less than 40 words in that paragraph. It lacks the required elements of: - Topic restatement - Summarized causes - Summarized solutions - Closing sentence This inaccurate summary conclusion, along with the incorrectly formatted opinion statement in the restatement+opinion paragraph are the weakest portions of this presentation. These will be the score reducing sections and can really pull down your final score in the process. These are the sections you should work on improving the next time you write a prompt that uses the causes and solutions format.

## funds on public services instead of wasting money on arts Some people believe that the government should invest money in public services instead of wasting money in the arts. In my opinion, I disagree with this point of view and I think that art should receive the same fund as public services On the one hand, there are a myriad of reasons why the government should spend money on public services. First, public services such as public transportation reduce air pollution and congestion. The main cause of air pollution is exhaust fumes released from personal vehicles such as motorbikes and cars. Compared to cars, public transport is much eco-friendlier since less emissions are produced per passenger. Therefore, by spending money on mass transportation, the air pollution problem can be mitigated quite effectively. Besides, it also cuts down traffic jams because more people riding on buses, trains, and other public systems means there are fewer vehicles on the road to cause traffic. In addition, if the government spends money on other public services like healthcare, the health of our society can improve, thus increasing the life expectancy of our country. On the other hand, the investment on the art should not be neglected. Firstly, travelers from other countries come to view the ancient structures, and by spending money on preserving artistic past, a country can entice visitors to return. This approach helps the tourism industry develop prosperously. Additionally, arts can improve citizen's spiritual health. That is because watching music performances or pieces of art can reduce stress levels and bring a lot of joy to many people after a stressful working day. Last but not least, the art industry employs a large number of people. When a famous artist organizes a concert or a major artist holds a painting exhibition, hundreds of people are employed to ensure that the event can take place successfully. In conclusion, I hold the view that the government should allocate money equally to both public services and the arts because of the aforementioned advantages.

I disagree To what extent? The measured response is required. You need to frame your response to show a measured or analytical element to your response. I would have framed this, based on your response opinion, as: *I disagree with this opinion to the extent that there are valid reasons for art to recieve equal funding as public services.* Notice how the extent of my disagreement is clearer in this presentation? The measurement exists to show where my disagreement with the statement starts and ends. I think Remember that your opinion is scored based on 2 considerations: - Clarity of your opinion - Strength of your opinion Both are not met by your response due to the clear uncertainty of your presentation. Your opinion is not a valid one. The reasoning instructions do not support the equality of funding opinion that you stated. That is because neither reason presents any commonality in the reasoning that show an equal importance for funding, when done side by side. For example, an equal argument would be: *Funding for the arts is based on the idea of teaching people about beautification. These are done in museums through sculptures and paintings. Sponsoring the artists who create these pieces. Public services also serve to beautify our surroundings. These are done through public landscaping and artistic murals. Therefore, funding for the arts is equivalent to funding public services.* See the commonality and connectivity in the discussion. It is a clear, coherent, and cohesive discussion of a reason why public services and the arts should recieve equal funding. This is the type of reasoning that would earn you a higher scoring consideration in an actual setting. because of the aforementioned advantages. The requirement is for you to restate the reasons you provided in the earlier paragraphs through a simple and quick restatement. This is not a completely developed concluding summary paragraph.

Hi everyone! I'm a newbie. Please help me with this essay! Can anyone please estimate a band score and some advice so that I can improve my writing skill? ## IELTS TASK 1: Employment Rates of four Countries The graph below shows the employment rates of 4 countries: Here is my essay: The given bar chart shows the employment rate of males and females in South Africa, Chile, Finland and Norway in 2002. In general, the employment rate of males in all four countries is higher than the rate of females. The rate of men and women in Finland and Norway is almost the same. However, in South Africa, the rate of these two genders is slightly different and there is a big gap in Chile. Specifically, in comparison of the employment rate of males in all four countries, the bar graph shows that Norway has the highest employment rate, which is about 80% then following that is the rate in Chile and Finland which are almost similar to 70% and South Africa has the lowest employment rate of male. On the other hand, in terms of comparing the female employment rate, Norway is the country that not only has the highest employment rate of males but also the rate of females. Moreover, South Africa still stands in the last position, Finland is the second and Chile is the third one. To sum up, the employment rate of males and females in four countries in 2002 are almost different from others. Only, Finland and Chila both have a similar male employment rate. *

When you write the summary overview, of which the trending statement is included, you will need to limit the information for your trend. In this current presentation, you actually began a comparison discussion already, which should be presented in the next 2 paragraphs. The trend should only indicate the first sentence. The rest is an over statement already. You should be careful never to start the discussion in the trending paragraph. Good work on the summary overview though. The examiner would have preferred to see at least 2 summary sentences rather than this long and compressed sentence, you managed to avoid confusing the reader with the provided information so the run-on deductions will not be too severe. Specifically This is a connecting word. It is often used to connect a previous sentence idea to the next one. It is not used at the start of a sentence, much less at the start of a paragraph. Why? There is no information to connect at that point yet. The trending paragraph stands alone and should not continue into the reporting paragraphs. To sum up, There is no concluding statement requirement in the task 1 essay. There is no opinion discussion presented in this task, so there is no need to summarize or close the discussion. Your approach is actually incorrect if we consider the paragraph format for the task. The format is: Paragraph 1 - Summary overview + trending statement Paragraph 2 - Analytical report Paragraph 3 - Comparative analysis Paragraph 4 - (Optional, used only when 2 images are provided) Additional discussion points I apologize but I cannot offer you a score for this essay. You have to contact me privately for the rubic based scoring analysis of your essay. Scores are not part of our free review services.

## my struggle with formal vocabulary and transmission Title: Write an essay about Prince Edward Island, Colonel Gray Highschool and reasons why you want to enter this school (1000 words) ·PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND: Prince Edward Island of Canada really had me at hello after I first saw it through a short video on Youtube. It is spectacular in many ways and I genuinely consider it to be one of the most peaceful paradises in world. Prince Edward Island is an island located in the Gulf of St. Lawrence, which is the smallest province by area and population in Canada. Prince Edward Island is the only province island and is connected to the mainland by North America's longest sea-crossing bridge, the Federation Bridge. Despite its humble area, the island is a perfect combination of beaches, sand dunes, red rocks with a huge variety of bays and harbours. Prince Edward Island has mild maritime climate, which is significantly influenced by the ocean surrounding, especially in winter, the weather is relatively chilled to the bone. Prince Edward Island mainland is predominantly covered with grasswards and fileds, along with many colorful houses and cottages dotted across the face of the island, which make it definitely resemble to a masterpiece of a wonderful rural area. From the coast of the island, we can enjoy the whole stunning seaview and even hear the harmony of birds chirping and surf during the entire day. Moreover, Prince Edward Island is a paradise of quintessential maritime homes, where you can literally get a strong sense of oceanic atmosphere and smell the salty flavour lingered over the air. The traditional culture of the island is a profound standout, particularly arts and music. Prince Edward Island is famous for Confederation center of the Arts, a gorgeous artistic hub playing host to annual Charlottetown festival, where you can take in a diverse array of the world-class music theatre productions. In terms of sport, hockey, golf, basketball, horse racing, etc. are popular in Prince Edward Island, especially in the summer, water sports are the most preffered. The magnificent image of Prince Edward Island has been sticking in my mind since the first sight. I would love to have an opportunity to experience a new lifestyle and engage in such incredible cultures in this romantic island. ·COLONEL GRAY HIGH SCHOOL Colonel Gray High School is a public high school in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, which plays an administrative part in the Public Schools Branch. Genuinely, I am energetically impressed by its mascot Colonel and official colours: Burgundy and Grey, which make them the idiosyncratic characteristics of the high school In 1966, Colonel Gray High School was established, named after Colonel John Hamilton Gray, former Premier of Prince Edward Island for the 2-year period started from 1863 and chairman of the Confederation conference of 1864. In 2009, Colonel Gray High School became an International Baccalaureate World School offering the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme to students for a certain number of subjects, such as: Biology Higher Level, Visual Arts Standard, Math Standard Level, History Higher Level, etc. Generally, campus of Colonel Gray High School is sizeble, which is partially covered with verdurous grasswards and trees like a colossal maze. The school consists of approximately over one hundred classrooms, icluding laboratories for practical experiments: a chemistry laboratory, a biology laboratory, an automotive shop, four computer laboratories, etc., most of which are equipped with Smart Boards. Other spaces such as Cafeteria, Student Council office for Student Event planning, a gymnasium with a fitness centre, Specialist instruction space and Library are also built into the school's infrastructure system. It is impossible not to mention sports in Colonel Gray High School. Sport teams offered for girls and boys at Colonel Gray comprise of basketball, rugby, soccer, golf, badminton, etc. Sport tournaments is one of the most worth waiting events of the year, including: The Wall of Fame Cup, a men's and women's volleyball and soccer tournament hosted in October; The Colonel Gray Classic, a women's basketball tournament and The Gray Cup, a men's basketball tournament that hosted in early December by Colonel Gray High School. Extracurricular activities such as clubs and organizations are the last grace notes to wrap up this Colonel Gray sheet music. There is a large number of activities involving in diverse fields, for instance: Student Council, Dance Committee, Yearbook Committee, Gray Entertainment Television, Confederation Center Homework Club, etc., which you can feesibly go in for the one you are interested in. ·REASONS WHY I WOULD LOVE TO STUDY AT COLONEL GRAY HIGH SCHOOL In spite of the remoteness between my country, Vietnam and Canada, I have always craved to gain admission to Colonel Gray High School for reasons that are not difficult to comprehend. First of all, friendly and healthy environment of the school definitely attracts me. Not only is Colonel Gray High School prominent in its high-quality curriculum but also a great quantity of trees and patches of grassward covered the face of the school yard, which make a massive contribution to numerous campaigns aimed at protecting environment for a clean green unniversal atmosphere and lifestyles. Secondly, as I mentioned, Colonel Gray High School is home to several extracurricular activities, such as outdoor pursuits, clubs and organisations. Genuinely, I am an outgoing person, thus, open-air activities are absolutely my cup of tea. I hopefully wish that I could have an opportunity to participate in a few of them so as to develop myself in such collective and team-building activities and make new acquantances as well. Last but not least, Colonel Gray High School is located in Prince Edward Island, Canada, which is the country I have been dreaming of for years. I desire to explore more intersting things in this North American country, such as: its cultural diversity, lifestyle of indigenous people, various kind of speacialities, etc. Furthermore, career prospect in Canada is one of my most crucial targets in the future, therefore, I would love to experience the corporate culture here and get to know more about this Maple Leaves country.

While the prompt seems to indicate that you should use an outline format to respond to the questions, the reality is that the reviewers will be looking for your ability to write an engaging and imaginative essay in paragraph format. That way you can take the reviewers along with you on your journey of discovery and how these indicators led to your decision to attend Colonel Grey High School. Remember, your outline titles count as part of the word allowance. Do not waste that count. Outlining your response is totally unnecessary since your essay is pretty solid at this point. You just need to connect the paragraphs better to allow for a more integrated response. Revise the essay to blend the outlined responses instead. Truth be told, the first half of this presentation sounds like it was taken directly from travel websites and researched information. There is no personal connection between the places and your decision to attend the high school. Work on creating the personal connection in the blended response. Focus less on the image and more on the way that you believe you will benefit from exposure to these places in terms of your physical, mental, academic, and social development as a high school student.

## nobody will buy printed newspapers or books in the future The traditional newspapers or books printed will not be used in the future anymore because it will be superseded completely by free information on the Internet. I robustly disagree with this statement through some personal reasons below. Although there are many conveniences from reading books or online newspapers, the printed newspapers and books also accounts for a particular habit of almost people from ancient to now. Some persons, especially the older, read printed documents their whole life, so they will find it hard to change their habits. They may be had some issues and reduced their eyes function, which makes them have a headache when using modern pieces of equipment for a long time. The second reason is the disadvantages of reading online everything. Everybody has to clarify that some techniques such as laptops, mobile phones always carry the high energy visible which known as the blue light, this light will affect directly to the eyes. Furthermore, on the Internet, there has too much excited information and content which makes some people can not focus on the major content. Moreover, because the free in providing information, most websites have to receive more advertisements which are the virus's resources. To conclude, the traditional newspaper or books can not be replaced completely because the online resources also have a lot of drawbacks and the information written on printed documents was more exactly than others. Cambridge test 2 task 2\_ Please can you help me to estimate my band score in IELTS ? Thank you very much *

through some personal reasons below. The examiner already knows that you need to present personal reasons in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. This response does not give a proper discussion foundation to the next 2 paragraphs. You can only present a properly supported response+thesis statement by indicating the 2 personal reasons that you will be discussing. That is the only way to increase your TA score based on the "clear opinion" requirement for that scoring section. ancient to now Wrong word usage. Ancient times refer to Anno Domini and Before Christ times. There were no newspapers then. Newspapers were first invented / printed in the 18th - 19th century. These are considered fairly recent times rather than ancient times. Ancient refers to a time long past, especially before the end of the Western Roman Empire a.d. 476. Now, you may be referring to ancient as a slang definition for someone of really advanced age. Then refer to them as elderly or old people, even senior citizens. That is because word usage matters in the task 2 essay. Avoid using slang terms and use direct reference words instead to show that you know how to write academic papers using the correct formal English words properly. The second reasoning paragraph is a confusing mix of topics, without proper explanation development. You are not scored on reasoning number, you are scored on reasoning clarity. So pick one or two reasons that will connect properly to the first reasoning paragraphs that you can clearly and convincingly explain to the reader. \*Scoring is done privately. Contact me directly for more information.

***TOPIC: ## In some countries around the world men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?*** Nowadays, more and more people choose to be parents later. There could be several reasons for this case, and the development has various effects on both social and family life. Two main factors may contribute to the phenomenon of parents opt for raising children subsequently around the world. The fear of financial and emotionally unstable after bringing up a child is worried by some couples. The birth of a child means not only to spend for material needs but also to invest time and energy in helping him grow up. Some are ambitious, living their lives with the aim of achieving and accomplish specific goals first before stepping up into the world of parenting. They have to finish their own targets, like getting job promotion with good salaries or buying a house fully paid, after that the children will take into consideration. However, the delay in having children can attribute to several effects. Having a baby afterward will cause an increase in aging population in the future. For the prospective of the society, caused by the gap in the age structure of the workforce, the aging society filled with elderly people is more likely to suffer from labor shortage. For the children whose parents choose to have children late, they have to face the need to take care of the elderly members, which is widely known as financial and emotional needs and costs for them. In conclusion, young adults who prefer to have children later in their life may lead to aging population in the future with drawbacks to both society and family, whereas help them with a better beginning for the birth of children at the same time.

The prompt restatement is extremely weak. The first sentence, which is the prompt restatement, does not carry a logical presentation. When is late? Later in life? At a later age? When they are older? Restating the prompt requires you to not only find equivalent words to use, you also need to make sure that the thought of the sentence is properly translated in your version. You failed to do that. You do not answer the questions provided either. So you are not delivering a clear reasoning line / opinion statement to the examiner either. You will not get a score when you do not respond to the question. You gave an empty response since there are no established discussion topics for the reasoning presentations. The topic statement of the first reasoning paragraph is highly confusing. An ENL will read that and say "Nothing makes sense in that sentence". You need to clearly state what the topic is about. In this case, you stopped short of actually mentioning the focal point in the discussion paragraph. The main problem you have with your presentation is your thought process. You seem incapable of clearly transfering your thoughts from your mind to the screen. There is a disconnection between your thinking in Chinese and your typing in English. You need to have a tutor present when writing your essay. That way, you can be supervised with regards to your sentence formation and your ability to create coherent sentences. Right now, you tend to lose points in the C+C and GRA sections. Low scores in these areas will cause you to fail the test.

## TASK 1 ABOUT RADIO AND TV The line graph compares the proportion of the audiences in the UK of radio and television throughout the day from October to December in the year of 1992 . It is clear that most people in the UK prefer to listen to the radio at morning and watch the television at dinner time, while the rates showed almost equal percent at the middle of the day and night. In 1992, about 8% of residents in the UK turned up the radio to start the day, the rates saw a rapid rose to 28% arrived at the peak around 8.30 am, while some individuals chosen to open the television at approximately 7% when having the breakfast. At the moon, a general decline can be witnessed in the listeners of the radio until the midnight. By contrast, although the rates of television audiences experienced some fluctuations, a dramatic increase provided by the people opt for watching television. Before the 2 p.m, the rates of the audiences overtook the listeners of the radio at 25% and saw a shape growth reaching the peak at 47% at 8 p.m. Compere to the stable decease of the radio listeners, the proportion of the television showed a surge decline from 43% to 3% stood at the similar amounts of the radio at the end of the period. *

You are misinforming the reader about the image information. You are using the terms morning and dinner time, when the graph refers to noon and midnight. The examiner cannot give you a passing TA score when you have 2 violations indicated: - Wrong image information reference - Run-on Sentence presentation instead of individual sentence information sections Yes, the information starts at 6 AM. However, the image is asking you to take note of the comparison usage times between noon and midnight. These highlight points should have been properly indicated in the summary overview. These should have been used to represent the trending statement, at the very least. You are not paying attention to your word usage and word accuracy either. The essay shows clear evidence of careless writing and disinterest in increasing your LR, GRA, and C+C scores. There are several wrong word usage presentations that will decrease the GRA and LR scores specifically. (Hint: There is a big difference in the meaning of moon and noon. Which one was indicated in the image?) Do not assume that your draft essay is the final version. You should take at least 5 minutes to review your essay and correct the errors that you should be able to spot on your own.

## The world should have only one government rather than a national government Some people believe that the one-government of the world substitutes for the government for each country. However, I argue that this trend brings some benefits on the surface level, the government for each country is more likely advantageous. Advocates of a one-world government think that being unified under this government produces many benefits. An important reason is that this type of authority tends to save time when making decisions for essential topics. If there is only one-world government, the vaccine of Covid-19 tends to be straightforward to distribute across the world. Moreover, having a one-world government would bring the freedom of transportation for the world. The tax for products or the visa are more likely to become redundant. Also, flying to exotic countries or approaching new products would be more feasible. However, there are significant drawbacks that far outweigh the benefits. Although the one-world government may bring benefits for transportation, it still has some disadvantages. The freedom of movement between countries tends to bring more opportunities for nefarious deeds, which will cause many problems not only for the economy but also for politics. In addition, every country has a different culture, tradition and perspective. If the world is policed by the USA, it is difficult for them to understand other cultures and cannot treat other countries balancedly. Therefore, conflicts would undoubtedly arise. In conclusion, although the one-world government has some advantages, I believe that its drawbacks are far weightier. It is recommended that every country should have their own governor, but the governors should combine and support each other.

The prompt restatement is confusing and your opinion response made it even more confusing for the reader. It is difficult to decipher what you mean in this paragraph even after several readings. Therefore, this paragraph will not get a passing preliminary score due to the confusing statement presented and the GRA score for this section will be failing as well since it failed to avoid confusing the reader even after several reviews of the paragraph. This is a bad start for the essay. It has already failed in the preliminary score, so the actual score may not be a passing one anymore. Next time, try to paraphrase every paragraph in a clear manner. Do not try to compress the discussion points in the paraphrasing because your English skills do not allow you to do that yet. Your English skills are still at the basic level. Do not try to write at an advanced level yet. That could cause you to fail the test. In the second paragraph, the examiner does not care about the discussion that opposes your point of view. It should not be taken up as a discussion point in your response. You are only allowed 2 paragraphs to present acceptable evidence that that supports your point of view. In this case, only 1 paragraph does that. So the examiner will have no choice but to score your essay based on an under developed and little explained discussion. Unless 2 supporting discussions are presented and explained, the essay will not be considered completely developed. Based on the presentation problems, it will be difficult for me to assure you that you will get a passing score for this essay. It does not seem possible at this point.

## Electric Car promotion The government's public environmental protection education and the publicity surrounding electric vehicles are also a factor affecting popularity of electric car. For the past few years, electric vehicles have become more popular because many citizens have growing awareness about environmental issue. And this awareness is related to education. Zsoka et al. (2013) show that "a strong correlation between the intensity of environmental education and the environmental knowledge of students" (para. 1). If the long-term exposure of people to this atmosphere, conservation of ecosystem can imperceptibly become their life values. Firstly, they pay more attention to environmental protection. Expressing support for low-polluting electric vehicles and the intention to buy (Yan et al., 2019). Secondly, they understand the damage to the environment caused by gasoline vehicles, such as emitting greenhouse gases CO2 or air pollutants such as sulfur dioxide and PM2.5. Resulting in their interest in buying gasoline cars is dramatically weakened, and they no longer buy vehicles powered by traditional fossil fuels, thereby affecting the decision. Even though electric vehicles are more expensive than internal-combustion engine vehicles, environmentally conscious people may prefer electric vehicles in order to produce fewer greenhouse gases and reduce roadside air pollution (Dimitropoulos, 2014, p. 29). This proves that the stronger environmental awareness in the community, the more people can be encouraged to make a choice for electric vehicles. Furthermore, when the values of citizens change, they attach importance to the sustainable development of society and the earth, as responsible "world citizenship" (World citizens, n.d., p. 1). Because of its civic awareness allow them comprehend that petroleum energy is limited, and electricity can be provided by renewable energy sources such as solar energy, wind energy, hydro energy, etc. without harming the interests of the next generation, nor jeopardize the long-term benefits, so that achieve sustainable development of society, so select electric vehicles. Another way to popularize electric car through publicity, the majority of the public make decisions due to social trends and their herd psychology. In fact, the trend culture in society is formed under the propaganda of the business community, as is the case with electric vehicles which brands such as Tesla, Tesla has been promoting to change human behavior and improve pollution by developing electric vehicles. When electric cars become more popular, plus advertising to create a favorable image in the minds of customers that purchase of electric cars is tasteful and responsible behavior, then more people will be influenced by media or friends or follow the trend, and some of them have the attitude of conformity, so they choose electric cars. Therefore, it is indispensable to enhance publicity and education will help increase the popularity of electric vehicles.

Well, it is certainly difficult to review this paragraph for proper development and weak points without reading the first half of the essay or, the whole essay for that matter. It is important to understand that I am going to be doing a blind review here, and my statements may or, may not be applicable to your writing since I have not read the whole essay. This is a general review that you will have to take at face value. I find that the paragraph is heavily reliant on in-text citations, but the writer does not expand enough on the citations through personal opinion presentations and opinions. The connection is a bit hard to create when you use so much words from other people, and so few of your own. Try to expand on the reasons why you chose to use such a citation in relation to your topic focus whenever you can. Additionally, you can divide this paragraph into 2. My advice is to seperate the publicity discussion since it is a seperate presentation topic from the early content. That way you allow yourself room to further develop and interesting and relevant discussion covering more aspects for consideration.

## it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school? Some specialists think that learning a foreign language at primary school is vital for children than secondary school. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this trend. I believe that there are outweighed by benefits. on the one hand, there are multiple drawbacks why students should start learning an international language in primary ages than secondary school. First of all, is that learning another language except their mother tongue causes language disorders in adolescents. This is because they do not conscious of the primary language when they speak every day. For example, students tend to add more foreign words in the sentences. It not only loses the beauty value in their mother language but also leads to the discomfort of listeners. Another is that the primary teachers may not have the necessary language skills to satisfy this progress. If primary language teaching is not stand used. the secondary school could be faced with a great variety of levels in diffident language within the intake. As the result, there is no advantage if students are moved as soon as they change school. On other hand, there are numerous effective benefits why it is vital for them to begin learning at primary ages compared with secondary ages. Firstly, studying a foreign language early helps to create great language progress in which students provide a better foundation in order to prepare high level in primary school. Younger's brain not only remembers deeply and mimics the sound correctly but also have advantages in next school or their life. Secondly, learning an international language in primary school will be easier via playing games or copying videos. Besides that, the great flexibility of the primary school will help adolescents to maintain learners' authority and progress. As the result, primary students can learn the language in an effortless way whereas they enjoy their childhood. In conclusion, I would argue that learning an international language in primary school compared with secondary school, bring more benefits than a drawback because of helps the student to approach the great language progress and reduces efforts in learning the language of students in order to make it be easier.

I believe that there are outweighed by benefits. The prompt indicates: Discuss the advantages and disadvantages. It does not indicate: Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You are faced with 2 different types of prompts. One asks for your personal opinion, the other, asks for a general discussion. This essay asks you to use the general discussion format. Your response format is incorrect when compared to the expected prompt question response. The reasoning discussions properly covered the general discussion considerations and references. So these will receive an appropriate score. However, the conclusion is a failure because it contains a personal opinion which was not asked for in the original prompt. In addition to that, there is a formatting violation in the conclusion because the personal opinion is only presented as a stand alone 3rd paragraph. The conclusion only serves to recap the previous discussion. The essay will be considered unconcluded and in the process, could be given a failing score due to the missing conclusion presentation as expected.

## employment categories of adult population in the usa The bar chart gives information about the proportion of teachers by gender in 6 types of educational institutions in the UK in 2010 It is clear that, while the number of female teachers in nursery and pre-school is largest, this figure is lowest in males. Furthermore, the biggest difference between the percentages of male and female teachers is seen in pre-school. Women dominated the teaching profession in pre-school, with over 90%, whereas the percentage of males was just nearly 5%. The same pattern can be witnessed in primary school, with the figure for females higher than their counterparts, with 90% and 10% respectively. The gap between the two genders was much narrower in secondary schools, with around 57% for females and 42% for males. It is noticeable that the proportion of men and women teachers in college were the same, at around 50%. However, the number of male teachers in private training institutes was higher than that of females, with nearly 60% and over 40% respectively. University recorded the highest percentage of male teachers, stood at 70%, over 2 times higher than the figure for females. *

For the summary overview, you need to learn to use individual sentence references for each thought or idea presentation. While you can present a single sentence with all of the information, this could result in a GRA score deduction based on the confusing sentence content and the existence of a run-on sentence, when the requirement is 3-5 sentences per paragraph. The individual sentences will add to the clarity of the presentation due to the pauses created, which gives the reader an opportunity to better understand the information you are sharing. Single sentences will always provide a better score than long, compressed sentences. There should only be one trend presented in the trending sentence. That is because the other aspects need to be presented as a part of a comparison and analysis of the information. Where there are two possible trends for presentation, pick the one that seems to be most important to the summary presentation.

***The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015.*** ## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant My essay: The bar chart compares the usage of social networking sites by Canadians in 2014 and 2015, measured in terms of percentages. It divides people into six categories: those who used no sites, one, two, three, four and five sites. In general, the percentages of people using one site exclusively remained the highest percentages over the period covered whereas that of five sites were the smallest While slightly more than one in every ten Canadians did not use any social networks in these two years, the rest of them did. Of these particular people, a negative correlation occurred: as the number of these sites increases, the relative amounts of people decrease, especially in those using two sites or more with a correlation coefficient of -2. The biggest overall decrease happened in the one site category, falling from 36% in 2014 to 28% in 2015. By contrast, the proportions for those using multiple sites marginally rose; in particular, rising the least in the two sites group, by only 1%, and the most in the three sites, by 4%. *

Excellent work on the summary overview and the trending statement. You have presented a well summarized report that shows the clear points for analysis. However, you have a punctuation mark missing, a period, at the end of the trending statement and that, even though it is just one small error, will be noticed and be given a small GRA markdown by the examiner. Be aware of your writing errors, Always proofread and look for any oversights on your part. The analysis paragraph should have been divided into 2 as the image shown provides for a 3 comparison grouping system. There are 6 portions for analysis in total. That should cover 3 sets of information per paragraph for analysis. It would have delivered a clearer and more analyzed reporting format to the examiner. Using 4 paragraphs would not have hurt in this presentation as it would have allowed for more clarity in the report presentation. As far as this work goes, it is not a bad report, but the GRA error and formatting errors cannot be missed either. There will be some deductions applied. However, I do not see those as warranting a failing score for this presentation. It may get by based on a base passing score, or a little higher than that.

## Writing IELTS Task 1: Waste disposal in one European country (2005-2008) The graph provides information about the amount of waste that people in one European country disposed of in 3 different ways such as landfill, burning and dumping at sea from 2005 to 2008. It is clear that people in that country disposed of less waste during 3-year-period, as the graph illustrates a significant decrease in the amount of landfill rubbish. The amount of garbage that is landfilled sharply decreased from 1800 million tonnes in 2005 to 600 million tonnes in 2008. On the other hand, burning waste slowly go up from500 million tonnes to 900 million tonnes in the same period. While the landfill and burning methods had a different trend in the given period, the amount of rubbish that is dumped at sea experienced a stable trend between 2005 and 2008, at 600 million tonnes in 2005. The figure did not change much, remained at around 595 million tonnes after 3 years. *

The graph You did not complete the image identification. While this is a graph, it needs to refer to the specific type of graph as there are several types of graphs that can be referred to in a task 1 essay. In this instance, the complete image is known as a columnar graph, the other being a bar graph, and the last type, a line graph. Please familiarize yourself with the various image types due to its necessity in the accuracy consideration of your report. Missing from your summary overview is the type of measurement used, which is in the million tonnes. Otherwise, you presented a well summarized presentation of the important parts of the image. The overall report is acceptable enough. It shows a quick run-down of the information and comparison, but could have used a little more analytical reference to help increase the C+C score. Good job though. The essay will not get a failing score.

## Task 2 IELTS WRITTING: The internet The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the Internet and what solutions can you suggest? Answer: It is true that the digital revolution has fundamentally changed the way that people absorb and transfer information. This trend can have detrimental impacts on interpersonal communication skills and the cognitive growth of children , but measures can be taken by the government and parental controls to tackle this issue. To begin with, excessive dependence on Internet usage can exert adverse impacts on people's social life as it has diminished real-life communication between families, friends and relatives. With the advent of social platforms and an active world-wide-web connection, cyber citizens can get access to video conferences , emails and online chatroom which allow global connection without travelling. Consequently, they will be less interested in face-to-face conversations , even be gradually isolated from the society. Another problem anticipated with the over reliance on wireless connection is that it provides access to numerous inappropriate contents to its users, including children. As Internet give people a chance to easily have public voice and upload their own materials without being heavily censored before being posted, fraudulent information and negative thoughts are rife on Internet sites. As a result, many youngsters may be able to access to those dangerous sites which then will harmfully affects their psychological growth and academic performance. However, several viable solutions by the authorities and parents can be implemented to address the negative effects associated with the Internet. The first solution is that government can promote campaigns to raise students' awareness of the deleterious influences of using wireless network connection. These activities should be carried out in schools and universities by being incorporated extracurricular sessions related to computer training and Internet usage . Secondly, parents should consistently control the online activities of their kids. With the existence of cutting-edge technology, parents can monitor and restricts their children's access to certain sites by different computer program such as TeamViewer. In conclusion, while depending excessively on Internet can exert serios effects on individual social intercourse and the development of youngsters, these can be combated with youth education and contrainsts implemented by parents. This is a joint effort by both the government and individuals which can hopefully address this problem and avert a future crisis related to cyber world.

It is true that the digital revolution Since you are not being asked if the statement originally made is true or false, there is no need to swear by the validity of the statement. You can skip the "It is true" part and just go directly to the topic restatement. That is all that is required of the presentation anyway. Just 3 sentences covering: - The restated topic - the problems associated - Possible solutions related to the problem Such a discussion should not take more than 3 sentences to present your restatement + question responses. Do not add information to the discussion because it causes restatement falsities that could be deducted from your TA score. Good work in the discussion presentation paragraphs. These are highly connected and valid reasoning points. The main problem that you now face relates to the conclusion. You have incorrectly spelled words that affect the clarity of the sentences: contrainsts = constraints Additionally, parents cannot be referred to as individuals . Rather, you may refer to them as parentage or paternities. Individuals basically means people, and people, do not really care about how the internet affects children, unless they are the parents of the children.

## the robotic technologies impact on jobs In recent years, the robotic machine has increasingly replaced people in jobs. In my opinion, although this change has disadvantages for the average worker, I am convinced that there are much more benefits compared with drawbacks. In terms of the negative sides of using robots for jobs, This trend may cause disadvantages for workers. With the development of modern technology, It is a common fact that many industries replaced employees with automatic machines, which enhances their efficiency. Thus, the number of farmers and factory workers has constantly decreased. As a result, many families have to struggle to make ends meet. Take Fooxbot as an example, Foxconn, a famous company, installed 10,000 Foxbot robots and is expected to add 30,000 more of them each year, which means that a lot of workers will lose their jobs because robots have replaced their jobs. However, this development brings far more positive effects on humans. Firstly, robots are a huge benefit to medical. Artificial intelligence helps us make better diagnoses and may reduce the risk at surgeon performs. For example, With robotic surgery, doctors can minimize surgical procedures to be done with more precision and accuracy. Secondly, robots reduce the workload of humans. In other words, the machine is capable of performing intensive human labor and backbreaking tasks. Furthermore, the intelligent assistants will do tedious tasks such as answering email, which allows us to do more interpersonal and creative aspects of work. For instance, one private hypermarket installed an automated billing system on the counter which is working 24/7 hours. In conclusion, though the dominance of robotic technologies has shortcomings, it still gives humans great assistance in some important aspects like health care and works.

While there is a strength in the way that you restated the prompt topic and you gave an acceptable opinion in the first paragraph, you were not able to properly defend your point of view in the reasoning paragraphs. You have to understand, the examiner expects you to use logic and reasoning when discussing the A v. D essay. That means, in one paragraph, you need to clearly present a disadvantage reason, but turn around the reasoning for that and explain why it is an advantage instead. That means, the format for this essay should be: Sentence 1: Disadvantage presentation Sentence 2: Reason for disadvantage Sentence 3: Counter argument transitin ( Reason it is an advantage) Sentence 4: Example that proves your point Sentence 5: Supporting explanation I have seen that the examiners score the students better in the A v. D essay when they use the aforementioned written debate format in their reasoning paragraphs. They tend to deliver higher scores when the exam taker uses this format due to the strength of the coherence and cohesiveness presentation. The examiner can better assess your logic and English grammar skills when using this debate comparison format in 2 paragraphs.

## your favorite music A nineteenth-century poet once noted that "Music is the universal language of mankind". Throughout the high and low notes of human history, this has undoubtedly been true for me. According to various studies and reports, music can really change our tune. So in this speech, we're gonna have a more direct look at music and its influence on reality through a particular song. As an introverted girl from Generation Z, I am into music that is delicate and smooth while still being trendy and modern. I discovered that the pop ballad was an ideal suit for me. One of my favorite tracks recently is "First Man," which was performed by Camila Cabello. The titular figure of the song is actually an allusion to her father, for he is "the first man that really loved" her. The storyline of the song reads like the singer was about to spend her first night staying with her lover. And this has her dad worried. So she spends an amount of time trying to ease his worry about the relationship she was in. And this is an emotional moment for both her and her dad. The song's lyrics effectively convey the father's care for his daughter. Even though the daughter is on the verge of becoming mature, the father still looks out for her, even if it's the simplest. The only man who is always willing to sacrifice for us unconditionally is our father. I have read somewhere that "A father's tears and fears are unseen, his love is not directly expressed, but his care and protection remain as a pillar of strength throughout our lives." Yet, because of this, we tend to forget this silent affection. We are just concerned with our phones, friends, current entertaining events, etc. The distance gap between us and our father becomes bigger and bigger. As a result, I believe we should show our father more love, gratitude, and care in our daily actions: ask if he is tired after work,... We are typically able to say "love" directly to our partner, but we are embarrassed to do so with our parents, particularly our father. However, you know what even just a simple direct love-showed word from us can also sound like music to them. Last year, I participated in a personal development course that included a final activity in which I had to express my love to my father directly. He cried somewhat when I simply said "I love you" to him; it was the first time I had seen his tears. That partly shows how happy our father will be to hear such words from us. Hence, just start doing it; it may seem awkward at first, but it will become a wonderful habit over time. All things considered, daddies do not just love their children every now and then, it's a love without end. Hence, we should be appreciative and thankful that we still have the opportunity to show love back to dad. If we want to be helpful, make a significant contribution to society. Be sympathetic and beholden to our parents first.

A nineteenth-century poet once noted In order for this quotation to be effective in your speech, you need to provide the actual name of the person you are citing. Otherwise, this is just an empty quote that will not catch the ear of the listener. A speech needs to open with an effective hook. Using your own words, through your personal experience or considerations for the speech topic would have been more effective. Since you are falling on your own interpretation of these words within the opening spiel, then maybe, you do not need to use this quote? we're gonna This is a formal speech. No room for English slang here. Use the complete words. You want to show your listeners and your teacher that you can use grammatically correct and, academically acceptable English. recently There is no need to refer to a time frame in this case. You can just go directly to mentioning the song since it is a current pop favorite. Gear your words towards the age of your audience. A time reference needs to be used only if you are talking to people who are say, the age of your parents or older, who may not be familiar with the singer. etc Another informal word reference. You need to remember that you are writing mainly for a grade here. Your teacher will be looking for proper use of English words and references. No short cuts or quick references can be allowed in this case.

## IELTS Academic Task 2 Writing Hello, I am a new user and I have just finished writing a short piece of IELTS composition. I hope to have this work checked and to receive valuable feedback. Here is the topic: ***In some cultures, in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this message?*** My answer: In many parts of the world, youth are encouraged that if they do their best, they can be successful and gain anything as expected. Although it has some benefits to give children this message, there are also many drawbacks. On the one hand, it is clear that telling children that they can achieve anything if they are industrious would bring about several advantages. One evident strength is that it would give children motivation to do their best. In other words, it brings them the reason to be more industrious thus to make every effort in their study and reach their goals. Another reason is that it would help children raise their awareness about planning for their success. It means they should envisage steps to prepare for the future. For example, it is vital to schedule learning time and practice a lot if a student wants to have flying colors in their exam. On the other hand, there are some obvious disadvantages that would arise if the children believe in what the adults say about making an effort to succeed. First, the children can be negatively obsessed about failure. It means that they might be disappointed because of their failure and it makes them depressed. Doing a test would be a good example, if the exam result doesn't meet their expectation, it can dampen children's enthusiasm in learning. It causes children to not want to try hard anymore in their studies. Secondly, young people may not develop their cognitive skills. It means they will ignore such skills like critical thinking, problem solving and they lack creativity in finding a good method to study and work effectively. Learning English is another good example for this, young people may keep learning a list of every English vocabulary multiple times with the hope they will remember those words well, while they can find other better ways such as using flashcards or making sentences to comprehend those words. In conclusion, there are many positive things about telling children that they can achieve anything if they are industrious regarding giving them motivation and helping them to plan for things. However, it could be negative in terms of disappointment and stress and the lack of non-linear thinking of young people in study and work.

The writer has displayed a well developed sense of logic and reasoning in the presentation. The prompt was clearly understood and restated. The discussion instruction was well addressed and the writer avoided the common mistake of giving a personal opinion in a simple advantage v. disadvantage essay. As for the reasoning paragraphs, the first reason provided was sound, but did not connect well enough with the second reason provided. Rather than using the transition word "Another", the sentences should have used a transition bridge to connect the two reasons instead. The reference "This motivation will help children.." would have been a better connector between the two reasons. The 2 reasons should always highlight the connection between two otherwise seperate reasons to highlight the ability of a writer to coherently discuss a topic using cohesive sentences. When using numerical ordinals, use these in the correct form. Do not combine numerical reference formats as this creates a grammatical error for the writer (Firstly, secondly, thirdly as opposed to first, second, third). The second reasoning paragraph was better explained and connected in the presentation. Very minimal errors exist in the paragraph. The conclusion is just as well developed as the prompt paraphrase at the start. The writer shows the potential to score highly in an actual test provided more practice essays are completed in various writing formats.

*Prompt:* ## *"Prevention is better than cure."* **Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree?** In the current climate where our health is seemingly on the line, both preventive measures and finding possible cures are equally important. I agree to a certain extent that preventive measures are important and should be enforced to everyone to minimize the possibility of getting sick, however, I also believe that investing in finding the proper cure is just as important. Proper preventive measures also stem from extensive research through understanding how the diseases and viruses work and whether they will regenerate into something worse in the future. With the COVID-19 pandemic on the rise, vaccines are one of the best preventive measures for it, but in developing those vaccines, a lot of resources were needed; perhaps, as much resources it would need to find a cure. From my friends and family's experiences, terminal diseases such as cancer are difficult to detect and prevent. Some of my cancer-ridden friends and family don't even know they had it until the symptoms were felt. It is difficult to prevent something you didn't know you had, especially when diseases like cancer don't really care whether you exercise every day or drink alcohol every night. Because of this, it is just as important to invest in finding cures for diseases, especially when they are undetectable by the naked eye. In the end, governments and health organizations should invest in both preventive measures and finding cures for diseases. Viruses and diseases will continually evolve, as they should. It is our job to continuously be alert to prevent them, but when the front lines of prevention have been infiltrated, our healthcare system should still be adept in providing the proper cure.

I agree to a certain extent that Right thought, wrong idea presentation. The more accurate presentation would have been; "I agree TO the extent that..." since you are representing a degree of agreement. The idea is to present the end of your agreement with the topic. There is no need to represent the reason for your disagreement since you are asked for the measure of your agreement or disagreement. Pick one of the two discussion choices to represent in the essay. This is still a single opinion essay rather than a comparative discussion. however, I also believe that investing in finding the proper cure is just as important. You are not being asked to present a solution to a perceived problem in the discussion instruction so this sentence is a total waste of word count and discussion space. It will not receive a score and instead, will lower your TA score due to a change in your discussion slant from the original. Try to focus on only aspect of the discussion. Since you already agreed that the prevention is more important, then focus on that discussion alone. Do not contradict yourself in the discussion by agreeing with both sides. It is either you agree the cure is more important or the research is more important. Either agree or disagree. Create a clear opinion for yourself of risk being scored based on the lack of a clear, one sided opinion.

***Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. It is believed by countless people that developing the economy is the sole solution to hunger and poverty whereas sceptics argue that it would cause serious consequence to the ecosystem. In my opinion, economic growth contains both benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, national economy has an unchangeable role in guaranteeing people's living standards. Comparing to multiple factors which could possibly deal with poverty and hunger including educational quality or accessibility to healthcare, a developed economy clearly does better in tackling practical and serious problems. For example, various issues which create poverty, like labor redundancy or low average wage could not be completely solved with education. In addition, economic growth would stimulate agricultural production as well as other sectors in the country to work effectively as government and companies have more money to operate, thus directly eliminate poverty and hunger. On the other hand, it is impossible to protect the environment while managing economic activities. To develop the economy, a nation would primarily rely on industry which is also the main cause for numerous kinds of pollution, namely water impurity and air contamination. In fact, the global greenhouse gas emissions from industrial processes reported to increase annually for more than a century without any signs of declining considerably rise the concerns in a lot of countries. Furthermore, despite the presence of modern waste treatment technologies, many companies do not have a proper treatment for waste since the expense for new technologies are generally expensive. Actually, it is not until immoral companies releasing harmful substance into nature are brought to light that people publicly know. In conclusion, I strongly believed that economic growth is the only way to get rid of poverty and hunger, however, economic activities must observe the regulation for environment and restriction in order to minimize negative impact on the planet.

Kindly remember that you have to create a strong and convincing personal opinion. This needs to be based upon rational and believable discussion points in a fully developed, stand-alone paragraph. The conclusion is used only to restate the previous discussion. When you state your personal opinion in the conclusion, you create an open-ended essay that could very well result in a failing score. Why is it a failing score? There is no summary recap as required by the summary conclusion. As the name of that paragraph indicates, it is a summary, not a personal opinion or reasoning paragraph. If you wish to create a better debate for this essay, use the compare and contrast format for the reasoning presentations. That means, you will accomplish 2 things in 2 reasoning paragraphs: - Prove why an advantage is a disadvantage - Explain why an advantage is a disadvantage The basis of the explanations will be your understanding of the public opinion, using both the third person and first person pronouns for clarity of presentation. You did a very good job in the restatement + personal opinion. You also provided general discussion points that would have been improved by the proper use of third person pronouns in the paragraphs to differentiate it from your personal opinion. The main error in this presentation is the discussion of, or lack thereof, of the personal opinion in the conclusion. Remember, do not use the conclusion for your personal opinion as this does not create a true closing summary for your discussion. It does not matter if you state "In conclusion" because the examiner will read the paragraph and immediately identify it as a non-conclusion and score it accordingly. The best way to avoid that problem is to merge your personal opinions with the public discussion points in a proper manner.

## Advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community In the old days, people preferred living in a small community to a large one, yet urban areas are becoming more congested day by day. It means the minor did bring them more benefits than the major in the past, but drawbacks make it no longer populated. On the one hand, there are some advantages which were suitable for the old lifestyle. Firstly, one of the features of living in villages that is still accurate until now is its healthy environment. Pollution has never been a concern because of the fresh air and the peaceful atmosphere. Secondly, people in rural areas had an extremely close relationship. Since there were a few people in a village, everyone knew each other, and solidarity which was highly promoted by the former society was noticeable. Whenever someone had a problem, there were always people who willingly gave a hand. On the other hand, some disadvantages created many difficulties in daily life, which is why the low population density in the countryside. Firstly, there is short of equipment and it is usually old-fashioned. This results in underdevelopment that happened in different fields such as IT, education, health, entertainment, and so on. The countryside is isolated from the other parts of the world as the news was not timely updated which is intensely serious since information is needed to prevent a disaster. Moreover, poor conditions led to backward thinking and ignorance of the citizens. This is because they live in a community with traditions instead of adapting cultures like in the big city. In short, although living in villages has both pros and cons, drawbacks have created a strong impact on modern life that makes it no longer be an ideal place to live in. Especially, when the pandemic is spreading, health care services playing an important role are mostly supplied in cities.

Your prompt restatement does not make a clear connection with the original prompt. The original discussion simply stated that the discussion is to be based on a a general discussion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community. The writer is not being asked to perform any assessment of the topics that could lead to a presentation of a personal opinion. Rather than a personal opinion, the last part of the first paragraph should only state one advantage sentence topic and one disadvantage sentence topic. Based on the prompt restatement + response guidelines, the writer failed to properly represent the original prompt. The discussion patterns of the writer are acceptable. However, the cohesiveness of the paragraphs need to be better developed to increase the C+C score that is reliant of the proper connection between reason 1 and reason 2 in a paragraph. For example, the focal point of the first reasoning paragraph is pollution. Therefore, the second reason should indicate the relationship of pollution with the small community. This would be a greater disadvantage representation since it will clearly connect the small community discussion to the anchor topic. Firstly You cannot use a numerical ordinal in a paragraph if there is no series that follows it. You need not always count or numerically list your reasons. You can just discuss the topics directly and use connecting phrases instead. Build your transition words, phrases, and sentences abilities to further increase your GRA score. This is not an opinion essay but a general discussion. Therefore, the writer's personal opinion should not be reflected anywhere in the presentation.Not in the introduction, not in the conclusion. This is a direct prompt alteration that will have negative scoring results for the writer in the end.

## explain your choice of study If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details. (wrote it 30 min, didn't change anything) Most people agree that everyone in the world should have the chance to study what they want. Personally, if I had the opportunity to study the subject I had never tried before, I would choose Music, more specifically the History of Music. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, history of music starts from the folk music and it is the root of any culture. The subject would introduce me interesting facts about development music from ancient times till present day and it is great not only to read about it, but to listen to melodies too. During my trip to India and Turkey I had visited incredible museums of different eras of oriental cultural history and there were informative lectures in exhibition halls which were accompanied by folk music. It had great impact on visitors including me. I am passionate about both history and music and I would study the history of world music with pleasure. Furthermore, attending the history of music class, I would enrich my knowledge on other cultures of the world. There are so many fascinating places, nations and cultures, which are still not studied well. As every culture has it own music and history, I would study them and present my knowledge and research results to the world. For instance, the culture of my country. Kyrgyzstan is small Central Asian country with rich cultural background, however most of the world do not know about kyrgyz history and music. We have so many outstanding composers and musicians, whom should know everyone in the world. If there were more people interested on the history of music or culture, kyrgyz culture would be familiar to more people. In conclusion, if I decide to study some subject which had never studied, I will choose the History of Music. This is because both music and history study culture and making research on them improves our understanding other cultures.

While the writing allowance is 30 minutes, you are not expected to use all of that time just writing the essay. You need to work on your time allottment skills in this case. No more than 20 minutes should be used to complete the opinion paper draft, with the remaining 10 minutes being used to correct and polish your presentation. Do not fall into the habit of using the full time allowance for the writing alone. You will definitely leave some errors uncorrected, which will lead to a lowering of your final score. ~~I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.~~ This is not a good way to kick off your TOEFL introduction paragraph. Just like the IELTS test, you do not need to provide an empty transition sentence at the end. You need to provide the start of the discussion instead. In fact, the difference between the IELTS and TOEFL tests is that the first requires a thesis statement while the second, does not. You should begin your discussion of your opinion within the first paragraph due to the shorter writing time allowance. accompanied by folk music The last few sentences of this paragraph should focus on the way that the music at the museum impacted your interest in traditional and historical music. Shorten the discussion about non-related, but introductory activities next time. Always focus your explanations on the main discussion point. Overall, you have shown a keen understanding of the prompt. Your efforts to discuss your opinion remained on the relevant side although there were instances of straying from the original topic which is historical music. While the sentences are not perfectly written in the English language, the opinion of the writer remained clear throughout the presentation.

## reasons for travel and the main issues for travelling public in the US A glance at the provided charts reveals some striking differences in traveling purposes and the primary problems related to the traveling public of Americans in the year 2009. In general, commuting for work was the most common reason and the cost of travel was the primary concern of Americans. It is obvious that in 2009, 49% of trips were made for commuting to and from work and it was the highest figure compared to the others. In contrast, the percentage of visits to companions and relatives was the lowest among those five causes, stood at 6%. Shopping and social recreation were cited as purposes for 16% and 10% of all travel, respectively, while personal reasons accounted for the remaining 19%. Regarding the commuting issues, the expense of travel was a key consideration for 36% of Americans. Just around 17% of people preoccupied with aggressive drivers while 14% of those surveyed concerned about highway jams. Finally, less than 10% of citizens considered the public transport accessibility and footpath for pedestrians as the main problems.

A glance at the provided charts Since you did not provide a copy of the charts, I cannot accurately consider the information you are providing. The image reference is too generalized for the examiner to get a better idea of how the information is being presented to the writer. Always identify the type of image. If it is a chart, indicate if it is a bar chart, pie chart, columnar chart, or what have you. ~~striking~~ differences No need to exaggerate. You are being asked to write an accurate depiction of the information in the summary presentation. The examiner knows that exaggerated references will never be part of the presentation. Though such references add life to the report, you are not writing a creative paper here but an academic review. The need for flashy descriptions are not needed nor required. It is obvious Again,, there is no image attached so what is obvious to you, is not obvious to your reader. Do not make these sorts of references because it does not make you sound smart. It makes you sound annoying instead, which is not a tone that should be found in an academic paper.

## food shortage problem Food is one of the most necessary part of human life but it's possible to be short in near future. This problem causes by some factors and gorvenments should have the act to prevent this situation immidiately. First of all, the lack of food certainly comes from the rapid increasing of population which is faster than the food production, especially in many developing countries that have a higher rate of natural increase, which has led to the steep cost of some basic commodities such as rice has risen so much so many people can no longer afford them. Second, the high amount of inhabitants also lead to the climate change that causes drought and other weather conditions and exert the adverse effect on agriculture. Third, because of the lack of equipment, famers in developing countries use outdated farming methods which doesn't provide the efficent productivity. Some solutions are suggested to deal with this worrying problem. World governmets and agencies should adopt strict measures to reduce the emission of greenhouse gases like encouraging people to use public transports, buy a hybrid car or plant trees around their houses. Not only that, deforestation and overgrazing need to be tightly controlled by the law beacause they are also the reasons that make the amount of food decrease. Developing countries may have many difficulties in finance and technology, the best solution is the helping from rich countries to learn and raise awareness associated with environmental problems and pratice skills of agriculture machinery. In a nutshell, population increases and the shortage of equipment are the main factors for this vital dilenma and this can be solved by the clear-cut actions of gorvenments and state-organizations that may positively affect people in each country. It is predicted that this concerned trouble will easily and quickly resolved so no one will suffer from starvation.

This problem causes by some factors and gorvenments should have the act to prevent this situation immidiately. Please offer clear responses to the questions provided. The examiner has no use for your empty repeat of the questions provided. Such an act cannot be scored as it is not part of the task accuracy requirement. For the task response requirement, you need to provide an outline of how you plan to respond to the questions by offering related single sentence references to the questions. Direct responses that you will be building upon in the reasoning paragraphs. These discussion outlines will help create a clear idea of what your opinion regarding the discussion is. These responses are what can be given a score in the accuracy section. First of all, the lack of ...longer afford them. You must avoid presenting connected ideas in a single sentence. This is a run-on sentence that, when divided only by commas, force the examiner to fail your score due to C+C and GRA problems in the presentation. Regardless of the number of reasons you present in the paragraph, if these are not properly formatted in the sentence presentations, the paragraph will still get a failing score. Some solutions You did a better job of explaining the solutions you believe will work in relation to the causes of food shortage. However, the solutions are still too numerous, with little developed explanations. So the C+C score will be lowered just the same. You seem to have been misinformed as to how to write this test. You are not tested on the number of resaons you can provide. You are not going to pass the test just because you kept writing until the time ran out. You will only pass the test if the grammar requirements for English sentence writing are met. You will only be considered for a passing score if you effectively explain connected reasons in the paragraph, without confusing the presentation by using run-on sentences. This is a good effort. There is evidence that you understand English questions well enough to provide acceptable responses. The problem, is that you are not presenting the response sentences in acceptable formats. Work on less run-on sentences, more connected reasoning topics and discussions, and the clarity of your explanations. These are the factors that will determine if you will pass or fail the test.

## Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. **In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?** The impact of information technology has had a huge impact on the way people treat each other today. This essay will discuss in detail that the content on the Internet has shaped the relationship between society and everyone, and shows that this is a negative development, because many content on the Internet is just another personal opinion or unrealistic or even untrue, not suitable A situation where other people cause depression and lack motivation for anything else. The media usually spreads many trending visual video news trending things so it is someone's point of view and is seen by many people and many people think it is correct so that other people are also affected although then just follow them and hey involves other things, for example Advertising video trends, some other stories, some untrue things are suspected or just some experiments, so this may change other views and thinking about the outside world. Other factors are ideas that we usually believe many people follow. For example, through experimental thinking, the results show that if 9 people collude and tell others that the answer is a wrong choice, then 10 people will undoubtedly follow the answer. Many people are attracted to something special and attractive things have different things, so many people become popular celebrities or show different opinions or earn extra money at all costs. To do this, they must create something unreal or have a negative impact on the world we see. Therefore, just by following, watching and observing this content in the video or story trend news, we will somehow think it is true and make the wrong decision about our connection with relatives and people we know , Which affects the way we see and think about the world around us. For example, when seeing a person talking about his relationship, seeing the wrong content about someone's opinion, many people think it's true, so they follow him, learn from him, do the same thing, and do the same in their life. In short, the visual content does affect our imagination of the surrounding environment therefore, instead of believing in ourselves, we choose to believe in the crow trend. Many people think this is correct, but it is not. This has a negative impact on our lives. People follow trending ideas , and more people think they are right than believe in themself.

This essay will discuss in detail that the content on the Internet has shaped the relationship between society and everyone, and This particular reference is no longer necessary in the presentation. You provided a strong prompt restatement in the first part, then the responses that you provided to the direct questions were also highlighted in your opinion paragraph. There is no need to repeat the discussion instructions since your restatement and responses already did that, without dumbing down the examiner. personal opinion or unrealistic or even There need to be a series if commas seperating these references in the listing. The pause inbetween is necessary for statement clarity. It offers the reader a chance to pause and better understand what you are saying. not suitable A situation There either needs to a period in between the words "suitable" and "A". There is a confusion in this part of your writing. It does not make sense as the reference is unclear to the reader. The overall essay becomes difficult to understand because you are not dividing your presentation sentences into individual ideas. Rather, you are using run-on sentences, which do not properly connect to one another. Hence, the reader will come away confused and bothered by your writing. The overall GRA and C+C scores for this essay will be failing due to the stress of having to read your statements and the lack of clarity and cohesiveness in your writing. This essay will not get an overall passing score.

***Both men and women these days work full-time, so it is logical for them to share household chores equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*** It is true that, throughout the world, number of dual-income families is considerably increasing. When there are two wages contribute to family budget, I firmly believe that both men and women should have equal responsibility for doing household chores. For the first reason, the old pattern taking root in society that housework should be only done by women is no longer appropriate in modern culture in which both men and women have full-time jobs. It is labor-intensive if working women are expected to handle all household chores when they are, along with men, also breadwinners. Men and women cope with heavy workload at their workplace and arrive home worn-out either physically or mentally. Therefore, it is logical and fair for both to shoulder the burden of household chores equally. Secondly, chores are rendered to be easier to do thanks to the advances of science and technology. Some people think that women are naturally better at housework than men. Labor-saving appliances, however, are invented to make chores greatly lighter and to be easily operated by anyone, regardless of gender. For example, a man can help his wife wash clothes by using washing machine and tidy the living room by using vacuum cleaner while the women cook nutritious dishes for family. He can warm up ready meals by using microwave ovens while his partner baths their children. Sharing housework together is not only the responsibility of both men and women but a good way to strengthen family bond and build up mutual understanding between partners. To recapitulate, although some conflicts might be triggered when equally sharing the duties of household tasks, I totally agree that when men and women have full-time jobs, they should shoulder the burden of chores together.

It is true that As this is a restatement of the original topic, the writer is not allowed to add information to the rephrasing that would alter the content of the original. In this case, there is no reference in the original to a "truth" about any information. This is a prompt alteration that will negatively affect the task accuracy of the restatement. Avoid making any additional claims in your restatement to avoid such score reductions. Always restate in a matter-of-fact manner. No deductions, no additions to the claim. although some conflicts might be triggered Please make sure that you stop this habit of adding information to the task accuracy related paragraphs of the essay. You can only use such information in the reasoning paragraphs. The aforementioned addition once again changes the original statement. The summary conclusion is expected to accurately restate the original topic a second time. You do not need to embellish on it.

## quitting high school phenomenon More and more students make a decision to quit when they are in high school. One possible reason for this is achievement pressure. one way to limit this problem is for parents to take this into consideration before choosing high school for their children. The foremost cause of quitting school is due to pressure on achievements in high school. In some countries such as japan, china, etc, School is usually a competitive environment in which most students try to gain the highest achievement so that they can receive admiration from people around them. Thus, school is the reason that causes stress in teenagers. To imagine, Many students cannot do well at learning they may feel useless when they have to continue wasting money on high school without gaining any. Instead of this, teenagers especially in unwealthy families decide to drop out of school and choose a part time job to earn money or support their families. The possible solution for this issue is for parents to consider school while selecting high school for their children. Each person has their own abilities and parents should help them find a school which is suitable for them. Some teenagers may be good at STEM subjects, others may have potential in creative subjects. For example, a person despite being bad at learning but he has ability in playing football, their parents can select sport high school for them. This method not only decrease the rate of quit but it also helps them success in the future. In conclusion, gaining high achievement is a possible cause of this problem. To tackle this, parents should think thoughly before choosing high school for them. I will have ielts test in next month plssss can u help me fix it !! thanks sooooo much !!!

More and more students Avoid the use of non-academic, memorized phrases such as this one. It is not only an exaggeration of the original prompt, but it also does not offer a logical point of view based on the given topic. Rather than saying "more and more", you could have instead said "There are some students..." Such a reference is academic and non-sensational in presentation. It shows a logical line of thinking without going overboard in your sentiment. I will commend your response to the questions provided though. You have created a well thought out response to the questions that clearly indicate what your upcoming reasoning discussions will be about. This is an effective thesis statement even though the grammar is not perfect. The grammar is not so much of a problem though since your thought process is still easily understood by the reader. japan, china, Kindly remember the noun usage rules. Proper nouns covering the names of people, places, and things are always capitalized. Be careful and ensure that you follow English grammar use guidelines to avoid heavy GRA deductions in your individual scoring segment. etc Non-academic word. Do not use these terms as it is seen as a lazy form of writing in an academic setting. It is frowned upon and will affect your C+C scores. Many students cannot do well at learning they may feel useless when they have to continue wasting money on high school without gaining any. This is an unclear reference. The money part refers to parents, it does not refer to pressure on students. It is more than likely you did not translate this sentence properly from your local language, which is why you delivered an incoherent statement. You need to add more punctuation practice work during your writing exercise time. There are several instances of missing or incorrect punctuation usage in your essay. These will have direct negative effects on your GRA score. Do better in these areas to ensure less deductions during the actual test.

## choosing the mode of transportation - air travel Travelling by air is a modern and fast form of travel. It is gradually becoming the first choice of people when travelling long distances because of the benefits it brings. Firstly, air travel saves us a lot of time and shortens travel time. Its travel speed is nearly 40 times faster than road travel. The second is the safety it brings. Travelling in the air is always safer than other means of transport. Their risk of being in an accident is always less than road vehicles (trains, buses, cars) and waterways. In addition, moving in the air is less prone to shock, ensuring the safety of goods and giving customers a better experience. The next benefit is the guarantee of professionalism and standards that are superior to other methods. The service staff have all undergone rigorous training, so the style and working style are also higher than that of the garages and shipping lines. While other forms of travel are hindered by terrain and range, air travel easily connects many places, both domestic and international, and is not subject to any terrain obstacles. Finally, air transportation has clear documents and specific commitments, so the interests of customers are also more secure. Above are some advantages of air travel. Hope this information will be useful in choosing the mode of transportation for your trips.

It is impossible to discuss advantages without referrring to the comparison point of the alternative travel type. While such comparisons are inferred in the paragraph, the writer has not provided convincing evidence to prove his point. For example, when a person travels by road, a trip that would take 3 hours by car will only take 40 minutes by air. Similar comparison points for the other air travel advantages should be made throughout the presentation to further enhance the logic and / or sound discussion that you are providing. Doing so will help you avoid parenthesis presentations that do not really help since these tend to seperate themselves from the actual discussion or presentation. Emphasizing the safety of air travel due to the easily avoidable traffic accidents would have enhanced this presentation as well. Remember that giving blanket claims will be met with questions by the reader. Questions that can easily be responded to by presenting valid examples for your claims.

**Please give review on my first attempt, thank you!!:** ## Destination of UK students The bar charts display the figures of four destinations of the graduates and postgraduates in England, besides of employed with a full-time job in 2008. Overall, the proportions of those destinations include voluntary works, further study and unemployment are similar among the two types of students, except for part-time work. As can be seen from the charts, the number of graduates and postgraduates who purchased higher education is both the highest which reached around 95%, the figure of which is 29,665 and 2,725, respectively. Clearly, among the four types of destinations, being a volunteer was the least popular among the students in 2008. Accounting for 3500 graduates and 345 postgraduates, both are less than 20% of students. The second similarity shows in unemployment, both figures in 2 types of students are almost a double down compared to the further study. Meanwhile, there were 17,735 graduates engaged in a part-time job, the number is slightly higher than those who were unemployed. In contrast, the number of postgraduates engaged in a part-time job is apparently higher which is 2535, amounting to five sixths of its students. *

The summary overview must always include the number of images provided and how the information is divided within the images. In this case, there are 2 charts presented, each with half the information for the report. So the images must be divided into 2, with the divisions for each made clear to the reader. As for the trending statement, the similarity needs to indicate if this is an upward or downward similarity for the information you are presenting. The lack of these representatiions make this summary overview a bit faulty in terms of task accuracy. The rest of the report, though a bit grammatically incorrect, still conveys the correct reporting information. So the rest of the task should bring in a decent score for you. This might be a passing essay, but not a very high scoring one.

## IELTS Writing Task 1: Mobile Phone Features The given table displays the percentage of numerous functions that mobile phone owners took advantage of between 2006 and 2010. Overall, all listed features had increased dramatically in proportion. Indeed, phoning, picturing, and messaging were top frequently used services and experienced a rise over the years. Other functions mentioned in the graph also had a noticeable growth. The entirety of owners used their phones to contact people in 2006 and 2008, even though this figure dropped 1% in 2010. Taking photos, which was also very common among users, was used by 66% people and moderately increased to 79% by 2010. Likewise, texting started from 73% and slightly went up to 6% in the next 4 years. Playing games and listening to music shared a similar trend with each other. The former began with 17% and the latter was 12% in 2006. Then, the proportions were almost doubled by 2010. Finally, although the last 2 factors had no figures in 2006, both of them took up the number of 9% and 41% respectively in the following 2 years. In 2010, while the percentage of filming was 4 times higher than in 2006, the proportion of search engine usage was almost three quarters. *

numerous functions Mention at least 4 of the functions in this place. That way, when you mention 3 more functions in the trending statement, the reader will have a clear idea of what the contents of the table actually are. between 2006 and 2010 Actually, there is a 2 year gap between measurements so you cannot refer to a general timeline count in this case. Rather, mention the years individually for clarity purposes. It is important to be specific about the data since a heavy scoring consideration for the task 1 essay is information accuracy in relation to the task. was used by 66% people and moderately increased to 79% by 2010 If the 66% reference belongs to a different year, you need to make sure to mention that. This information report is a bit confusing to the reader. Prioritize clear year and measurement references in relation to one another when referring to a heavy data based report. It will ber best for you to always start the paragraph with the year reference so that the reader has an anchor point for the forthcoming comparisons. They do not have to look for it or get confused by the references if it comes later in the presentation. Overall, a pretty good start. You may want to consider using a scannable sentence and paragraph presentation next time. It will help ease your worry when it comes to the clarity of your information presentation in any task.

## the education purpose It is widely believed that the fundamental intention of the education system should gear the graduates toward contributing to the sake of society, whereas according to the others, personal achievements should be prioritized. I would concede that the educational purposes should be used for one's goals for several reasons Since human progress cannot be devoid of the involvement of individuals, regardless of any learning preferences, the inherent intent of any subjects is to educate students to dedicate their effort for a developing society. In this knowledge-oriented world, the prominent role of scientific research, for example, lays a solid foundation to modern civilization. With an abundant force of professors and researchers of different fields we have initially reached many achievements that bring mankind to a higher level of evolution which is essential and desirable to people. On the other hand, the critics acknowledge the importance of personal goals and how education acts as a precursor to their future career. Firstly, the insurance of one's benefits are significant before anything. Provided that our society is getting more thriving, however, it is rare that there are any people willing to devote themself and enlighten others unless it is beneficial to them. Self-consciousness is no longer novel in this era. Even the volunteers could get their certifications for their work, which is a plus point for their job application. Furthermore, individual success itself has already been a crucial part that contributes to the development of a country. For instance, the wealth of billionaires and their enterprises can effectively bolster the overall national economic growth. In conclusion, despite both views have some certain validity, I believe that any particular form of education should be useful for the ambitions of people first as the advantages are more considerable. COULD THE TEACHERS HERE RATE MY ESSAY WITH IELTS BAND SCORE? I REALLY APPRECIATE IT

Kindly contact me privately for a scored review. That is a more intricate and comprehensive review that is not covered by our free review services. The following general review will be a good measurement of how well you might do during the test though. It will give you an idea as to whether you will pass or fail, depending upon your presentation alone. for several reasons You did a good job in the restatement. However, when it comes to creating your opinion statement, please remember that when you opt to write using the 3 reasoning format for this essay, you should present one topic alone alone to support your opinion. By presenting a clear supporting topic for your opinion, you end up with a stronger opinion statement. You do not need several personal reasons, only one solid reason since you only have 5 sentences in every paragraph to solidly explain the topic statement. Now, the 3 reasoning format you have chosen (the other choice being a 2 reasoning paragraph public and personal opinion consideration) requires you to disscuss both public views in a manner that clearly reflects the public opinion in your explanation. While a general explanation is acceptable, the use of third person group pronouns will make it clear to the examiner that you are not referring to a general personal point of view. This is a clarity requirement that is needed because the essay refers to "Some people" and "Others" in the original presentation. A clear 3rd person point of view reference. Only when you have compared these opinions in individual paragraphs, can you present your personal opinion or support for one particular opinion in your 3rd personal opinion paragraph. This 3rd paragraph must use first person pronouns to highlight your personal opinion paragraph. Please note that your personal statement will need to be developed in a stand alone paragraph. Once you present your personal opinion in the conclusion, it will cause an automatic failing score. That is because the expected summary conclusion requirements were not met. Simply saying, "In conclusion" will not close the essay. The writing requirements for the concluding paragraph will need to be met because of the scoring considerations applied to each paragraph. This is a good start. At least you have shown that you have a general understanding of the topic. It is the formatting and sentence structures that you have to pay attention to in your next test (of the same writing requirement).

## study and practice of english language Daily, I often get up at 7 am. then, I start to study English. This makes me feel extremely relaxed. I'd like to talk about one of my days. Now, my mood is very good. Because I learned a few vocabularies and watched youtube. As you see, I watched youtube which helped me study skills listen. It was funny, huh? Although I'm not good at English, someday I will be better, So I try hard to study English. I study English because I wanna have a good job in the future. this afternoon I get up quite late which makes me feel bored, tired, and grumpy. I wish, one day not far, I can curb my sleep. Finally, I write a blog to advance skills in my English. If it is not good, you can answer. This helps me better and have more experience for next time

The paragraph is written in reverse. The topic sentence, regarding what you will be writing about should be first (I'd like to talk about one of my days). Followed by what time your day starts ( I often get up), then the activity that starts your day (My mood is good when I start by studying English). The rest of the essay, about how you study and practice the English language can then follow. Remember that when you write an action paragraph, you need to outline the order in which these actions will be performed in the draft. Line then up from the first action, to the last. By doing so, you can develop a more understandable essay. If possible, avoid using English slang words (wanna) in your practice essays because you are not allowed to use slang words in academic writing. You might as well get used to it early on so that it does not become a habit for you.

***Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. It is undeniably true that violent scenes are gaining in popularity. Some people claims that watching fictional violence for entertaining cause no harm to us while others argue this will lead to real actions in life. In my opinion, make-believe violence poytrayed on television doesn't affect our behaviours if we have a critical mind. First of all, fictional violence is purely made for entertainment. Therefore, the people who access to this kind of media just for the purpose of entertaining but not for motives to act it in real life. Besides, there are appropriate violent fiction for each group of age depending on their receptive ability. Also, every kind of media containing violent details always has attached precautions for viewers. For these reasons, the extent to which fictional violence affects viewers' behaviours is decided by their choices. On the other hand, some viewers especially children tend to emulate violent actions appeared on television. Producers often use violent details to glamorize their characters as having superpowers, forming a typical character called hero. As a result, children usually keep this common misconception and imitate violent actions. In conclusion, fictional violence is made just for entertainment but not for other intended reasons to persuade viewers to imitate. To avoid being affected by those contents, we need to have a critical mind and only choose what suitable for us. *Thank you for helping me to correct my essay!*

Normally, this kind of writing would get an automatic failing score. You only wrote 227 out of 250 words, which means the preliminary score will receive appropriate percentage deductions based on the number of words lacking in relation to the minimum allowable word count. The essay will definitely start off with a failing score that the rest of the scoring considerations will have to overcome in order to garner a passing score. In this case, that may not be possible. It is undeniably true This is a false claim that should not be made in the prompt restatement. Please remember that there are 2 public opiunions being presented for the discussion topic. Therefore, nothing can be claimed as "undeniably true". This particular sentence should never be prsented in any discussion since it is not in compliance with the prompt restatement considerations. Only the next 2 sentences are actually needed for your prompt restatement + opinion presentation. None of the reasoning paragraphs are properly presented. The format for this discussion must be as follows: Sentence 1: Public opinion Sentence 2: Reason for the public belief Sentence 3: Writer's (dis)agreement with the given statement Sentence 4: Writer's supporting reason based on a valid example Sentence 5: Addiitonal explanation to support the example (if required or applicable) This is the format that will guarantee that you meet all the scoring requirements from the word count up to the clarity of your opinion presentation. Your current presentation does not meet these requirements. This will be a failing test.

Here is the link to extracts: docs.google.com/document/d/1nYL8jzleS5ITEzZZsdRX67Oq3Ucuw0R8/edit. I highly appreciate every feedback. Many thanks. ## two texts analysis The overriding theme of both texts is the principal cause of high engagement with smartphones in today's world. While one extract suggests that design technology is to blame, the other puts it down to an automated manner of humans. According to the first passage, phone addiction stems from the technology design of platforms. In order to grab more attention, tech design tries to make use of the reward system in the human brain to make us crave more for the pleasure we gain from their platforms. Additionally, in the sense that users' spent time spent is the product to sell to advertisers, websites and applications' owners try their best to have their platforms structured as captivating as possible to extend interactions. I have no disapproval of the belief that persuasive technology design increases people's time consumption on the phone. Apps and websites with colorful, attention-grabbing icons, outstanding features and push notifications are more likely to take effect in grabbing and retaining users' attention, which can be seen in some apps such as Instagram or Messenger. The second text asserts that the disruptiveness of smartphones comes from humans' inner urge to interact with their phones. People have the habit of unintentionally checking their phone even without notifications, whose duration is even longer than the purposeful interaction. The extract also suggests that among all activities on the phone, scrolling features consume the most time as it provides users low-cost pleasure. I am convinced entirely that the disruptiveness of smartphones comes from humans' habitual and automatic interaction which is driven by humans' normal desire to socialize and be on top of the latest news. Besides, as once the human brain's system is rewarded with pleasure from scrolling up and down mobile phones, it reinforces the behavior to seek more satisfaction. Personally, I reckon that both tech design and self disruptiveness make a contribution to humans' having eyes glued to the phone. It is phone features' attractiveness that constantly gives people satisfaction. At the same time, human natural irresistibility thereby causes them to yearn for interaction. On the whole, the two texts elaborate on two sources of human high engagement with phones.

Apologies for not basing the review of your essay on the Google Doc you sent a link to. We advise not accessing any files not located on our server due to possible malware, security, and virus issues, regardless of the server location. We do not advise that other students access off site files either. Essayforum will not be held liable for any damage that accessing such documents may cause your system. Reviews for such essays will be done without any reference to the exterior document. Students are advised to upload the text as an image file to our server instead. The overriding theme of both texts There is a certain point in the discussion of these texts where the focuses diverge. Do not overlook the separation points of the text as these differences have an effect on the overall presentation as well. These must also be considered when reviewing the information for your evaluation. Apps and website Start this part with "I believe that..." since this is the part of the review that represents your opinion explanation in relation to your belief in the given discussion. interact with their phones Rather, people have the urge to continously check if there are others interacting with them socially via their phones. This leads to their constant checking of the gadget. Your explanation was a bit incorrect in this part.

I would like to be thankful and hope you leave any feedback for my essay and (if possible) give me an average band based on IELTS criteria. ## ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF TAKING A GAP YEAR ***Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school university to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?*** **My essay:** There has been an accelerating trend of breaking for a year instead of moving immediately to university to work or travel. This phenomenon has some shortcomings in few aspects, the benefits are overwhelmed. Taking a year out is associated with many disadvantages. This is firstly because, if school-leavers enter real life when they have just enter adulthood, they will get into a lot of trouble such as financial problems or uncomfortable environment. For instance, to earn a living, gap year student have to do physical demanding job. In addition, a year is a long time so that they feel hard to continue academics. As a result, classmates may leave them behind, which lead to depression and stress. The advantages of pausing your studies for working or traveling, nevertheless, are more significant than its drawbacks. An important reason is that youngster can gain broader perspective of life. This means that those will have a chance to access diverse culture setting or different geographical context. Besides, choosing to take intentional time off is a way to reflect and develop new skills. These help students truly understand which career they want to do in the future. In conclusion, there are many benefits of taking a gap year which outweigh its shortcomings. For these reason, students should give themselves an opportunity to explore the world and their own through a gap year.

We do not offer public scoring services as our scoring method is only an estimate of what score you might receive in an actual test. We only scores that use our private services as part of the review assistance offering. The free general review will give you an idea if you will pass or fail the test, regardless of the individual scoring rubic. There has been an accelerating trend There is a big difference between an accelerating trend and some students opting to take a gap year. You have not properly restated the original topic because your reference point is a rate of increase in an action as opposed to the original prompt which is about students preferring or opting to take a gap year after high school graduaton. They have the choice to do it or not, that is different from a trend. To be clear: Option - something that may be or is chosen; choice Prefer - to set or hold before or above other persons or things in estimation; like better; Trend - the general course or prevailing tendency The word more related to the original keyword is option because it is a decision made by choice, such as taking a gap year from school. When writing about an advantage or disadvantage topic, the idea is to argue the negatives as a positive. So choose 2 negatives for your reasoning topics, then discuss these negatives as a positive to prove your point. For example: Disadvantage - Financial Problems Advantage - The student learns to become responsible with money because he has to work for his money rather than receive an allowance. Do you see the point? It all about proving the other side of the argument to be wrong based upon your understanding of the actual advantages. This clarity of opinion based on a proper comparison discussion is what you missed pointing out in your response. You have only one positive discussion in this essay rather than 2. So the essay is not properly developed in terms of reasoning and evidence. It will only receive a score for the part of the essay that discusses the advantage. The other paragraph will not be receiving any points.

## Children should not always follow their parents' advice Proper parenting is a part of raising children. this includes giving advice to one's children. How often advice is taken by the children is enough? Some might believe children should always follow their parents' advice. However, I consider that children should grow up in a nurturing environment that allows them to develop their sense of self. Children have numerous influences from the media, their schools, and friends but the household's guideline has the most crucial impact on their growth. They might start to be dependent on this advice if they constantly get told of what to do, how to behave, what is right and wrong. Instead, those take a step back to let their sons and daughters have their own time to handle the situation under parents' moderate supervision, treat them like a friend, not a parent. Providing a safe and supportive environment for children at an early age is recommended by experts. Instead of making your "little you" say yes to your advice, we only need to be responsible adults and act as role models for the kids to reflect on. Their creative mind and self-identity will be formed over the years and they will be a helpful kid who treats others with respect and compassion than only be advice-givers. For example, I grew up in a slightly strict house due to my parents' financial security condition and I am now their proud daughter who follows my dream and picks up myself when I fail. On the other hand, my younger sister is struggling to be on her own because she always sticks around mom for advice. Parents' advice is an important factor to raise a child. However, the amount and the situation to give them should be taken into consideration. Personally, a child will become happy and healthy when they lead their own lives with supportive parents.

There are 2 problems with your prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. First, the topic outline as you have interpreted it contains personal insights and opinions that were not provided in the original presentation. This personal insight has created a different prompt statement from the original. So there was a failure to interpret the topic based on the foundation that was previously provided. Second, as an extent essay, you are expected to provide an emotional (dis)agreement with regards to this public opinion. A quick review of your opinion statement shows that there is no "extent" response provided. Therefore, you have not provided the response based on the required answer format. This is another problem that will result in a less than passing task accuracy score. Based on the task 2 question, it will appear that you have not even responded in a framework that reflects the original requirements at all. You have provided your own topic for discussion and your own response format. The result? An essay that cannot get a passing score because you changed everything about the original presentation. If you are not responding to a task 2 essay but to a totally different English presentation task, then you should have mentioned it at the very start of this posting. This current review is based on the IELTS task 2 response essay requirements for this topic.

## [Writing task 2] Sports Events **Some people think that hosting international sports events is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion** Along with the advancement of the globe and globalization, an increasing number of events are being held in various regions of the world to help link countries, including sports competitions, and it causes a lot of conflict views. Some individuals believe that holding international sporting events benefits a country, while others believe that it has negative consequences. In my opinion, I suppose that organizing international athletic events would have a greater beneficial impact than the negative impact. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why many residents think that hosting an international sporting event is detrimental. Firstly, there will be large gatherings of people, which make governments have difficulties in controlling the crowd. Several crimes may be readily perpetrated because few people will notice, such as robbers stealing fans' belongings or other frauds if supporters do not pay attention. Furthermore, the brawls might have occurred amongst too enthusiastic supporters. Secondly, arranging a huge sports festival may cost a big amount of money, which can put a strain on a country's budget. On the other hand, despite the potential drawbacks, the host country might reap certain benefits. To begin with, it will boost tourism. The large number of sports fans will allow the country to benefit from the costs of motels, hotels, and other expenses incurred by the supporters during their visit to the host country. The host country also has the chance to promote the country's image across the globe, which not only helps it attract a big number of foreign tourists, but also helps it strengthen its international dignity. Moreover, the fact that a country hosts international events attracts a significant number of local audiences, whether or not they are sports enthusiasts, which will influence many people's thinking, increasing their love and pride for their homeland while also stimulating their enthusiasm for sports. In conclusion, I believe that organizing international sports will bring more benefits than harm to a country.

Along with the advancement of ... a lot of conflict views. This statement is not necessary in the prompt restatement section. Based on the original prompt, the paraphrasing should not cover more than 2 sentences, with an extra sentence thrown in to respond to the "state your opinion" part. That makes a total of 3 sentences only. You do not need an overworked introduction that accidentally begins to discuss an opinion or offers an insight that is not part of the original presentation. It ruins the task accuracy of the restatement + opinion paragraph. Stick to the original at all times to avoid any TA reductions. I suppose This is a phrase that depicts uncertainty in your response. It indicates that you are not really sure of what your opinion is. This will result in a lower TA score because you do not have a clear opinion represented in the required section. Your opinion must always be presented from a position of strength, certainty, and clarity of thought. Otherwise, this will be another TA score deduction. Secondly, a And? What else? Build on this explanation to tie in with your first reason. Since the two reasons are unrelated, this second reason is under developed and will reduce the cohesiveness and coherence score of this paragraph. When you see that you cannot fully explain a second reason, it is best not to do it. Do not force deductions from your score when it can easily be avoided by ommitting non-helpful presentations such as a little developed second reason in the same paragraph. On the other hand, While you managed to represent the general audience opinion in the previous paragraph, you forgot to represent the same in this part which represents the other public opinion. The discussion would have been better if it had used the correct 3rd person group pronouns for the presentation. That way, the reader would not be confused and accidentally think that you are presenting a personal opinion already. If the examiner takes this discussion from your personal point of view, then this paragraph will have failed to represent the correct discussion format. That would be another score deduction, which would not bode well for your essay since there are already several deductions being applied to it. I believe that You cannot place your little developed personal reason in the conclusion as a single sentence. The discuss both views and give an opinion prompt is more often than not presented as a 3 paragraph essay. Your personal opinion needing to be completely developed over 5 sentences in the same vein as the public opinion discussion presentation. The conclusion should summarize the preceding discussion in a manner similar to the prompt restatement+personal opinion paragraph. This time though, it represents the prompt restatement + comparative discussions. It will have 3-4 sentences at the most. 5 sentences if you actually try to stretch the summary.

*Hello everyone. I would be really thankful if you could give me some feedback and/or a score based on IELTS criteria on my answer for this IELTS Writing Task 2:* ***Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math.*** ## How far do you agree or disagree? *My answer:* It is said that computer skills ought to be included in the elementary curriculum as one of the key subjects. Personally, I completely approve of this opinion and this essay will explain the reasons supporting my view. To begin with, technology has now played an indispensable role in our modern life. It is clear that technology has infiltrated every aspect of our life, changing how we learn, how we work and so on. Some occupations are even predicted to disappear in the future since robots may undertake those jobs instead of humans. As a result, learning computer skills at an early age could benefit children in their vocational paths as they will be equipped with computer techniques, which would be probably one of the paramount criteria when they apply for jobs. Moreover, knowing how to use computers enables pupils to access a wider information source through the internet, which facilitates their development in other subjects as well. Various types of information cannot be published in the forms of books or newspapers. In addition, getting knowledge only from those kinds of documents might be costly as people have to buy every single one for information. With the help of technology, it is much more straightforward and cheaper as well. For instance, pupils are able to find a huge amount of information about a specific topic with just a few clicks of a computer mouse. To sum up, I strongly believe that it is advisable to integrate computer skills into the elementary curriculum as one of the main subjects due to the advantages that it brings to pupils. *Thank you so much!*

We do not publicly score IELTS practice tests as the scores are meant for private assessment purposes. You may contact us privately for scoring services which include a far more intricate review of your essay. That said, you will still be able to judge how well you did or did not do with this current piece of writing based on the general advice provided. and this essay will explain the reasons supporting my view. What the examiner is looking for when he reads your opinion sentence is the basic reason behind it. Why do you believe your opinion is correct? Tell him about the reason for your view in a single sentence. The reviewer does not need to know that you will be explaining the reasons for your view, that is a given based on the instructions provided. The prompt + restatement should always clearly state: - The topic based on the writer's understanding - The public reason based on the writer's interpretation - The (extent) opinion of the writer - The reason(s) for the writer's opinion ( 2 topics maximum to cover the 2 reasoning paragraphs). This will be the thesis statement for the discussion paragraphs. Following this format, you will achieve a better task score. learning computer skills at an early age could benefit children in their vocational paths This is the actual topic for this paragraph. It should be presented as the anchor sentence / first sentence in the paragraph. The topic focus for the paragraph should come before the explanation. You cannot present your reasons first, then the topic after. The examiner bases the clarity of your paragraph on the topic anchor. So always anchor the topic first. Your explanation was good. It just was not placed in the correct position for it to bring a cohesive clarity to your paragraph. You did a better job of explaining your reason in the second paragraph. It has an anchor topic presented at the beginning. To sum up Your summation is only 33 words. The requirement for this section is at least 40 words. What is missing is the restatement of your 2 reasons. Give a quick run-down of your reasons to meet the word requirement for this paragraph and also, prove that you are capable of delivering an effective reverse paraphrase to the examiner.

## The global language One can subscribe to the notion that people will use English as the only language in the world because of its ubiquitous usage. To a certain extent, although I agree that this will promote economy and understanding, I also think that there will be some drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several shreds of evidence why having one global language is beneficial. One of the primary ones is a good economy. In other words, when everybody all uses one language, trading and doing business will be easier since numerous barriers will be taken down. Another reason that a single linguistic will be advantageous is that it will help people understand each other. To be specific, communicating and understanding information will no longer be a problem, and therefore it will push learning among students. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of one language that individuals should take into consideration. First and foremost, it would mean that millions of other linguistic teachers will lose their jobs as everyone only have to study one language in the curriculum system. Secondly, it will result in the collapse of cultures. Traditions and customs are one of the joys that the world has to offer. As a result, they will eventually disappear when only one language is left. In conclusion, while there are plus points to having one global language, too much will be lost as a result. Maintaining local languages and cultures should be prioritized to ensure a rich world heritage for future generations. *

although I agree that this will promote economy and understanding, I also think that there will be some drawbacks. Incorrect response. You are not being asked to give an opinion on the topic. You are asked to provide a general discussion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of English as the dominant world language. Provide one advantage and one disadvantage topic, completely avoiding any personal opinion since it is not required in the prompt. Do not alter the prompt discussion requirement. That will result in score deductions as your restatement + opinion paragraph is no longer related to the original presentation. Do not add information to this part for any reason. several shreds of evidence You are using this phrase out of context. Do not use English slang in reference to a formal and academic discussion. You must use an academic tone and avoid exaggerated references, such as this slang phrase. It does not have any place in academic writing. millions of other linguistic teachers Stop exaggerating. The examiners do not appreciate stretching the truth or over emphasizing information in the essays. This shows a lack of academic writing ability on the part of the student. The sense of logic in your writing disappears and the examiner is left with a piece of writing that lacks common sense discussion points. Maintaining local languages and cultures should be prioritized to ensure a rich world heritage for future generations. Another prompt deviation. You are 3 for 3 in terms of severe deductions for this writing. Add to that the lack of proper sentence formation in the conclusion, which is 3-5 sentences or 2 sentences of at least 40 words and you will understand why this is not going to get a high score during an actual setting. Most specially since you have a habit of adding unimportant or non prompt related discussion points in certain aspects of this essay.

## poverty-stricken Australian families the table lists the data regarding the percentage of different types of families that suffered from poverty in Australia in 1999. overall, it is clear that there was about one tenth of Australia households living in poor condition with the number reaches approximately 1.83 million families. the sole parent family was the highest portion compare to other categories. as the data suggest, the family that contains sole parent was needy accounting for over one fifth of total Australia households. the second highest belongs to the single parent family without any children, which formed 19% with the number of 359 thousand poor families. Moreover. the percentages of couple parents without children was impoverished much lower than that of single parent family, accounting for 7%. It is very surprising that there was a big gap in the number of poor family between the elder citizens and the younger ones. the aged couple household was destitute accou.nting for the lowest portion in the given data. Last but not least, the percentage of single aged person who was poverty-stricken formed 6% of total Australia families.

The first reason why this essay will get a failing score is the fact that it totally disregards the grammar rules for English writing. You are not even trying to properly write in English. The first word of every sentence is always capitalized. You inconsistently did that in this essay, You will fail the grammar section as you show a total disregard for English writing rules. Since you did not upload the image for reference, I cannot say that your summary overview is accurate either. How can I trust that the data you are sharing is correct then? You did not even properly divide the presentation into 3 paragraphs. You do not seem to be concerned about the validity and accuracy of your reporting essay at this point. Why are you even bothering to do this practice test? It is obvious you are not concerned about passing the actual test anyway. Why are you even wasting your time with this exercise then? You do not even try to meet the minimum 3 paragraph requirement for the presentation. You do not even try to create a more interesting analysis of the data provided. Very little analysis is used in your presentation. Nothing is properly nor completely developed based on the image data. Your total lack of interest in the test preparation also leaves me disinterested in further helping you with your review for this test. If you want to get advice from me again, do a better job with your task presentation. At least show you are taking it seriously and that you are focused on passing the test by following the minimal and proper requirements for the presentation.

*Hello! Pease feedback this piece of writing for me... I'm rather confused whether the flow and validity of my arguments, the consistency of tone or the use of vocabulary and grammar is good enough :( Thank youuuu in advance!!* **Topic: *It is neither possible nor useful for the government to provide university education for a large proportion of students.* ## Do you agree or disagree?** Regarding the paramount importance of university education, many people believe that the access to this category of education should be given to a colossal number of students. Personally, I concur with the opposite viewpoint that providing university education to a large number of students proves unjustifiable and useless for the government. Admittedly, the provision of university education to multitudes of students is impractical as it can put strain on the government in terms of finance and human resources . Firstly, the cost of infrastructure to facilitate students' learning procedure is exorbitant such as advanced technological devices or demanded equipment for specific faculties, not to mention the high maintenance fees of such accoutrements. For example, students of the health faculty do demand certain instruments for the practice of surgeon, which costs the average amount of $3,772 to operate a surgical laboratory, according to a research by Medical Price Online. Moreover, providing university education to a great deal of students desperately requires a huge number of lecturers. Demanding such large human resources for newly-built universities may put huge emphasis on the quantity rather than the quality of lecturers. They, therefore, may lack the commitment and capacities to nurture the young talents, which can have many adverse impacts on the knowledge accumulation process of students. Furthermore, providing university education to multitudes of students is useless in light of the waste of resources as well as the imbalance in the workforce. First and foremost, university education does not guarantee and ensure students' later success in life. This is especially true in case that the intrinsic values of university credentials can deteriorate due to the growing number of students possessing them. In such circumstances, it can trigger many difficulties for students to find a desirable profession based on just a university degree and problems for the government as their resources allocated to university education may only lead to the stuck or decrease of employment rates. What is more, the intellectual and labor workforce could face a threat of imbalance. As the increasing number of students who possess a university degree may only aspire to knowledge-based careers, there can be a lack of human resources for manual jobs. Thus, the labor-intensive industries such as mining or agriculture cannot develop, causing great financial losses to the economy. In conclusion, the provision of tertiary education to multitudes of students can trigger many percussions for the government due to the mentioned justifications.

The main problem that you have with this writing is the word count and your approach to the discussion. For one thing, you mistakenly believed that you need to do a complete and thorough discussion of the given topic, complete with information sources and citations. You do not. You wrote almost 500 words. You do not have to do that. You are over discussing what should be a simple presentation of 5 sentences per paragraph for the 4 paragraph format. For the task 2 essay, you need to KISS it. Keep It Simple Sam! Let's start with the basics. The prompt restatement + opinion. You need to use a simple single sentence to restate the original topic, without actually discussing it yet. The same goes for your opinion. Give your opinion and 2 reasons why. These will be the reasoning paragraph foundations for the 2 upcoming paragraphs. Total - 3 sentences (at the most). Do not overdo the discussion reasons in the presentation. Use simple logic, personal experience, and any public knowledge you may have come across before. Do not research and use actual data because that is not what this test is about. The test is based on your ability for logic and reasoning when presented with a simple problem discussion. It is not a research paper, thesis, or dissertation. That is why the word limit is 300 and the time allotment for wiritng is only 40 minutes, with only 30 minutes used for actual writing. The remaining 10 minutes will be for correcting and polishing your paper. I often tell the students here the same advice I will be giving you now. Learn to use concise sentence and paragraph presentations. Say it all within 5 simple and short sentences. It does not have to be perfect. You are not scored in the validity of your argument. There are no right or wrong answers, there is no need to factual data. What is required, is a clear presentation of your English comprehension skills, your ability to explain yourself as you would during a class recitation, and your talent for doing so quickly in an understandable manner. Nothing else matters. So, while you presented an excellent academic paper here, you did not really write a paper that would help you pass a task 2 essay exam.