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***Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession.
## Is this a positive or negative development?***
Public figures are usually seen to voice their opinion with respect to public issues beyond the scope of their expertise. From my perspective, potential drawbacks of this tendency are incomparable to its upsides.
The fact that celebrities' viewpoints on a wide range of matters being publicized is indeed positive. Firstly, this could raise the public's awareness about the problem in question. Due to followers being predisposed to take what their idols concern into consideration, when well-known people share their ideas about a specific issue, it could instantly become the public's interest. Conversations featuring it might become prevalent, and numerous public members even do research, thus gain more insights of it. In addition, in some cases, consciousness of a matter brought up by famous individuals could translate into reforming initiatives in response. For instance, as an iconic figure raises her concern about the local environmental degradation, her admirers might be encouraged to organize campaigns for environment preservation, or simply think twice before littering in the park or discharging garbage into the river.
Nonetheless, a negative aspect of the mentioned development is that if public figures' viewpoints regarding issues outside their domain involve inaccurate information, several members of the community could be left ignorant. Idolatry could sometimes cause followers to take their idols' false beliefs for granted without attempting comprehensive research. For instance, if a celebrity, due to his superficial knowledge, consider an aboriginal group as culprits behind the extinction of a species, many of his fans might unthinkingly develop an aversion for the group, who are innocent people. However, this negative effect is unlikely to be severely damaging and long-lasting, since sooner or later there tends to be specialists stepping in to correct mistaken notions and leading blind followers into enlightenment.
To conclude, despite my recognition that celebrities voicing their views about a public matter beyond their profession is negative in some way, in general, it seems to me that this has more positive elements. | The writer has provided an inappropriate response to the discussion question which will result in a failing TA score due to an inappropriate prompt response. As the original discussion format is to be based on a positive or negative development, the choice to use an advantage v. disadvantage response format was incorrect. Positive and negative development prompts cannot be interchanged with an A/D discussion response format. By this point, the writer will be percieved by the examiner to be discussing a totally different topic. Was it an instruction comprehension error? Maybe. Whatever the reason, this sort of error can force a failing score in the first half of the presentation. Always respond as per the discussion suggested format. |
## the modern technology in the children's neighbourhood
It is true that many fundemental changes in human society over the past century were initiated by the proliferation of technologies. However, a school of thought holds that technology has an impact on human's lifestyle, particularly how children spend their time. While this trend may bring about some merits, I would contend that they are eclipsed by the demerits.
On the one hand, it is said that technology have noteworthy positive effects. The most crucial advantage is that children have an amazing chance to be exposed to the outside world. This means that children can study new things like specialized knowledge, new languages, or other's coutries culture without ny limitations. For example, in the past, studying new languages was restriction to students since there was shortage of source of information and they could just absorb information through books or their teachers. However, in the contemporary world, with some electronic gadgets, students can find a myriad of videos and channels which teach them new languages.
On the other hand, I am convinced that the growing trend towards excessively abused technology is going to have serious repurcussions on children. First, spending too much time on electronic devices impose a threat on mental and physical health. As a matter of fact, sitting for long hours may form a sedentary life which would have an adverse bearing on their welfares such asit may lead to the obesity of children. Moreover, there is no denying that there are violent scenes on the Internet that can have bad influence on behaviors.
Second, children have an inclination to spend less time with their families or friends due to techonological devices.
In conclusion, although I accepting that using techonogy too much may have advantages on finding new knowledge, I believe that the advantages are outweighed by the disadvantages. | It is true that many fundemental changes
Refrain from changing the original topic presentation by offering a testimonial about the topic. Proving the veracity of the topic as provided will never be a task 2 scoring requirement. Rather, this will result in a score reduction due to an inaccurate topic paraphrasing. This deduction applies even as your s statement properly provides a response.
Do not use a comparison statement in this presentation. Being a single opinion essay, your reasoning format must debate the advantage as a misperception, proving it is a disadvantage instead. Since the required discussion is provided in only one paragraph, the essay will be underdeveloped and only the supporting paragraph will recieve a score.
The third paragraph is the most score reducing presentation being only one sentence long. Only a topic is presented without any further development. It should not have been presented at all. |
## visitors going a Caribbean island
The line graph illustrates the number of tourists travelling to a Caribbean island during the period from 2010 to 2017. Overall, despite the fluctuation in the quantity of visitors staying on cruise and those staying on island, the total visitors consistently increased for seven years.
From 2010 to 2012, the total visitors rose from 1 million to 1.5 million. During the period from 2010 to 2012, the quantity of visitors staying on the island remained stable 0.75 million at the first year before growing sharply at 1.25 in 2012, while the number of visitors staying on cruise ships only increased slightly at 0.5 million in 2011 and then decreased dramatically at 0.25 million in 2012.
Throughout the period from 2012 to 2016, the total visitors increased considerably from 1.5 million to 2.75 million. Visitors staying on the island increased and stabilized at 1.5 million from 2013 to 2015 before showing a downward trend in 2016 which was at 1.25. In comparison, the quantity of visitors staying on cruise ships showed an upward trend from 0.25 million in 2012 to 1.5 million in 2016.
From 2016 to 2017, the number of visitors staying on cruise ships climbed substantially to 2 million and higher than those staying on island although there was a slight increase of tourists on island making up from 1.25 million to 1.5 million. | The essay is over-analyzed at 127 words. With a writing time allowance of 20 minutes, this should have no more than 200 words in it. Actually, 175 words would be the mostideal presentation. The writer created a highly verbose essay that tends to over-extend what should be simple data and analysis statements. Since an image was not provided, I find it difficult to spot the areas for correction, improvement, reduction, or deletion. Reading this report though, it feels like the presentation should only have 3 paragraphs in it. The 4 paragraph presentation is a real stretch. Being q reporting essay, the writer should have been able to create the report clearly with lesser word usage. |
***Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day.
Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.***
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A school of host hold that phones should be forbidden from youngsters during the school time. Yet, others argue that they should be eligible to use it. While both viewpoints are justifiably, personally I lean towards to the former.
On the one hand, as claimed by a plethora of proponents in favor of freedom, children should have the liberty to make use of electronic devices, and justifiably so. First and foremost, phones has become the most optimal educational tool which provides unlimited range of knowledge and information. Thanks to the advancement of devices and the ever availability of the Internet these days, which offers an abundance freely accessible resources in enormous fields such as sciences, mathematics, technology, humanity, etc. Furthermore, students can also use their phone for recreation as socializing or playing games with their peers in break time, which can work wonders for their mental health after stressful lessons.
On the other hand, I would argue that the use of mobile phones do more harm than good and schools should restrict it. Letting the young to use the phones in class could take a heavy toll on their performances. In other words, without any restrictions, they are more inclined to get addicted to phones; hence, their productivity can be adversely affected since they get distracted and neglect on their studies. This means instead of engaging in physical activities during the break time, students are gravitated towards video games, which results in exerting several consequences on their well-beings, both physically and mentally. This is a testament of an uptick in problematic behavior in academic environment.
To conclude, although there are humongous benefits derived from mobile phones, I am convinced that it is better to limits the use of it. | A school of host
A school of thought. Do not use English expressions unless you are sure you are properly presenting it. This error marks down 2 clarity scoring sections at once.
I lean towards to the former.
Why? Describe your reasoning topic to provide your thesis statement.
On the other hand, I would argue
No. You cannot argue or present your opinion yet. The opposing public opinion must be explained first. As that discussion topic is missing, the essay will be scored on 2 out of 3 topic discussions. That is because the student opted to use the 3 reasoning paragraph discussion. The essay is now, under developed and lacking in discussion development for the public openon aspect.
The conclusion is a failure as well since it is less than 40 words/2 sentences. |
***In some countries, some criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch.
## Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?***
The community in several countries is occasionally allowed access to footage showing real criminals tried in law courts, as these events sometimes go on the air. From my own perspective, the drawbacks of this are incomparable to its upsides.
Publicized trials are beneficial in certain ways. To begin with, the complex nature of legal procedures can be further understood by ordinary people, which may result in them having greater confidence on their nation's legal system. To be specific, observing a transparent, organized and step-by-step process of how witnesses are inquired, how testimonies are given under oath, as well as how a verdict is reached with deliberation renders the public convinced that the country's judiciary is indeed effective and trustworthy, on which they can rely for legal protection. In other words, people are inclined to believe in and approve of what they comprehend adequately well; so is the case of complicated judicial processes clarified through televised trials.
Another prominent benefit is that the publicity of trials could have crime rates decreased. That is to say, the sight of criminals being properly sentenced for their offenses gives people a prospect as to how severe punishments would be if they themselves commit crimes. Comparable to the concept of Hell awaiting malefactors - an idea constructed by some religions to warn people off wrong deeds, watching the uncompromising enforcement of laws in specific details on television could serve as a deterrent to people's potential law-breaking intentions. Therefore, it is likely that broadcast trials assist in bringing down the number of illegal acts.
On the other hand, a notable downside of making a guilty person's ordeal in law court publicly aired is that offenders could face difficulties in social re-integration after serving their sentence. Since ex-criminals are usually prone to skeptical attitude from local people, they are predisposed to start a new life in another locality where they are barely known. Nonetheless, if the footage of them being tried circulates across the country, these people become nationally recognizable, and nasty criticism against them may continue to prevail in the new neighborhood. In worse scenarios, the potential prevalence of cynical views wherever these individuals relocate to can result in them being unemployed and excluded from social activities, thereby finding themselves a burden to their family and the community. Although it seems to me that former inmates' life being forced to such extreme due to the influence of televised trials is not highly possible, this negative aspect should still be taken into consideration.
To conclude, my personal conviction is that broadcasts of criminals standing trial are rather positive than negative; however, its prospective drawback should not be omitted. | There is only 1 5 paragraph essay discussion in a task 2 presentation. That is done only when asked to "discuss both views and give your opinion". For all other essays. specially the general opinion presentations such as this one, a 4 paragraph format will suffice. The only thing you have to prove, is that you can cohesively discuss 2 related reasons in one paragraph. The questions provided here focus on your cohesiveness and coherence abilities. There is no need to overpresent your discussion / body paragraphs. There is a need to prove your writing abilities as expected though.
The writing and logic skills are present, but misdirected. Learn to express yourself within a 5 sentence limitation. The over-writing can prove to be a failing point during the actual 40 minute test where proof- reading, content improvement, and editing time count within the actual test time. Time is never a friend to the examinee.
**my personal conviction is that**
There is no requirement for a personal opinion. Do not present one when not asked to do so. Adding this to the conclusion creates an open-ended and failing essay due to a prompt deviation and non-concluded essay presentation. It could cause an automatic failure in an actual setting. |
## NEW MARKETING TECHNIQUES
It is true that there is an increasing number of techniques which enhance the procurement of their merchandise and help those businesses earn huge profits annually.
It is possibly said that advertisement plays a vital role in contributing to the development and reputation of the company. Firstly, in a mobile and fast-paced society, the internet and high-edge technologies take over other media platforms, more and more people seek for products through ads which are displayed on TV or on You Tube. Moreover, TV commercials usually feature well-known actors, singers, or sports stars with the aim to persuade their fan to buy products as people are more likely to believe that those merchandises are endorsed by famous people. For instance, Dior-a lavish brand was revealed that their sales reached an all-time high when they announced Jisoo as their global ambassador, the turnover increased twice as much last year.
On the other hand, online marketing has the propensity for promoting its products to a more ordinary people, those who have an average income. Many companies spend billions dollar on running ads and marketing through social media app. This helps them approach to customers easily and widely as people often surf the internet in their free time, which increase the covet of buying things. Furthermore, consumers tend to be persuaded with truly review which are experienced by customers not KOLs.
In conclusion, each business has their own marketing scheme which can exerted their product popular. Therefore, the power of social media is unpredictable, it is the most convenient and effective tool that can get access to millions of people all over the world. | The first paragraph is called the prompt restatement + opinion for a reason. It has to accomplish 2 things:
- Give the author's version of the original topic based on his own understanding. no embellishments such as attestations should be found in this paragraph
- Give direct responses to the provided questions in the form of an opinion.
The author has failed to meet these requirements this paragraph will recieve a failing score in terms of accuracy since move of the expectations were met in the presentation.
The essay completely fails to answer the 2nd question in relation to which method the author feels is the most effective way to promote a product and why. The response to this question should be the main focus of the 2nd paragraph. Each gquestion requirement is part of the discussion body. It is never a part of the conclusion Making the response a part of the conclusion will cause this essay to recieve a failing score due to formatting non-compliance. |
## Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it
Many people argue that rather than reducing climate change, we should find a way to adapt to it. I completely disagree with this statement and I believe that there are several solutions to tackle this problem.
Government and individuals can take some measures to address this problem. Firstly, using renewable resources include wind energy, hydropower, biomass energy, solar panel, so on instead of fossil fuels would be an effective way to contribute to reducing climate change. These types of energy do not emit carbon dioxide or other gases which cause global warming and a lot of harmful impacts on our life. Secondly, the government should take into consideration encouraging residents to use public transportation such as buses, taxis, subways, etc. By doing this, we can mitigate the amount of energy consumption as well as environmental greenhouse gas emissions.
Unless we prevent climate change, we must face a huge amount of dangerous impacts. Firstly, climate change poses a threat to people's health. Climate change leads to the increase of infectious diseases such as malaria and dengue fever, as well as serious ailments such as heart and respiratory disorders because of the rise of air temperature and variable precipitation. Furthermore, climate change causes the rising of sea level as well as many extreme weather events like drought, tsunami, flood, storm, so on. These things would destroy residents' houses, medical facilities, affect the production of crops and livestock, even submerge several coastal areas that demolish the civilization of these cities.
In conclusion, addressing climate change is an essential mission for both individuals and authorities, not adapting to it. | so on
etc.
The first phrase reference is meant to indicate additional unsaid information. Similar in use to the word "etc.", this is a non-academic reference used in non-formal or casual writing. Do not use these 2 references going forward as the task 2 essays are formal and academic papers. Good work in the reasoning paragraphs though. The discussion is well supported and uses ample transition words.
Unless we prevent
we must face
The first reference implies we have yet to prevent climate change . The second reference makes it appear that we are compelled to face something. This is a sentence structure error. As we are currently dealing with the effects you pointed out, statement should reflect that. The more appropriate structure is "...we will continue to face... ". This indicates the current effects we are trying to change /alter.
The concluding statement is too short a summary presentation. Use at least 2 sentences. One for the topic and one or 2 more for the reasoning topic quick versions. |
***Question**:
**Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed.***
## Discuss these views and give your own opinion
While some opine that financial support from international community is crucial to the developing nations, others believe that other types of useful aid and consultancy are much more necessary. This essay will discuss both of these views and elaborate on the reasons why practicality is indispensable.
On the one hand, the aid of international community is of paramount importance to the development of less-developed parts of the world. Advocates of granting developing countries financial help may argue that this form of support is essential for constructing infrastructure. The construction of public amenities such as schools and hospitals can be financed with budgetary support, which may make education and healthcare services accessible to many citizens. Another reason is that when the state income from taxes is not adequate, foreign cash injections are vital to maintain effective administration systems by paying salaries to governmental staff members who play a pivotal role in monitoring all sections of a nation.
However, I am firmly convinced that non-financial assistance from the international community would benefit such countries more in terms of long-term development. As technology transferring and labour force tranining have long-lasting effects on developing countries' economy, this approach may shorten the gap between the first-world countries and the second-world ones. In addition to this, hands-on support and advice are indispensable for further development. If citizens' knowledge in a country as well as their scientific literacy is only at a basic level, the country is not likely to move forward no matter how much financial aid they receives.
All things considered, although budgetary support from global community is beneficial in a few aspects, I believe that giving advice and practical aid should be underscored.
Could anyone spare a few minutes to give some feedback on this? Thank you so much. | why practicality is indispensable
Is this your personal point of view ? If yes, then frame it as such. Respond as required by the prompt. The aforementioned presentation does not deliver in the expected format. You will lose points based on an improper response presentation.
I believe that giving advice and practical aid should be underscored.
This is the clear opinion that should be in the first paragraph. This cannot be used as a concluding statement. Presenting your opinion at the end this way will result in a failing overall score.
The response format in terms of discussion paragraphs needs work. you have to justify the belief of the 2 public sides in individual paragraphs first. Answer the question "Why are their beliefs correct" before you offer your own opinion. |
## The gold sales in Dubai
The line graph shows gold sales in Dubai during 2002. It's clear that the Dubai gold sales fluctuated throughout the year. As it is presented in the graph, the highest sales were in March while the lowest peak of the gold sales was in July and September.
As it is evident from the graph, 200 million of dirhams in January is a starting point. After that, the gold sales started to grow slightly, then reached the highest point in March about 350 million of dirhams. Ever since, it fell from 350 million in March to 120 million in July. However, there was a rise in 80 million in August that dropped in September. Then, the sales amount increased in October and continued to grow gradually to 200 million of dirhams in December. The figures remained unchanged in October and November and reached almost the same point as in the beginning of year about 200 million in December.
In conclusion, March, July, and September are months when the gold sales achieved the highest and the lowest points. But the sales remained stable from October to December.
* | The currency of sales needs to be mentioned in the summary overview. As the writer, you need to let the reader know early on that the U. S. dollar is not the currency consideration in use. The reader needs to know that the U.S. dollar is not the default currency as that is the automatic assumption of international readers. It also better prepares the reader for the mention of Dinhams later on. By the way, being an official currency, Dinham is a proper noun that should be capitalized when used as a value reference.
rise in 80 million
rise TO 80...
that dropped in September.
To what value? You may provide an estimate for this. Avoid general statements when the image allows for a value estimation.
In conclusion,
Task 1 essays do not need a conclusion because this is a report analysis rather than an opinion essay. |
***Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time.***
## Discuss both this view and give your opinions.
(INTRODUCTION) Opinions differ as to whether physical education is a crucial subject of system education or whether students should concentrate on academics when they study at school. This essay will examine both the pluses and the minuses of physical education and academic lessons, as well as give some personal thoughts about this issue.
(Body paragraph 1) It is a positive fact that students need to learn physical classes at school. The main reason why students have to study physical activities at school is due to the development of both physical and mental health. For instance, students need to learn yoga, badminton, volleyball, etc. in class. Subsequently, they would have good health and fit bodies to stand up to the pressure from studying and social life. Furthermore, schools also create physical education classes to help students reduce stress and anxiety after difficult subjects such as Math, History, etc. A good illustration of this condition is students will feel conscious to prepare for the next lessons after going outside to enjoy the atmosphere. Last but not least, physical education can help children have more skills to improve their health such as swimming which is one of the most important facilities for everyone.
(Body paragraph 2) On the other hand, it is more vital for students to concentrate on academics during the school day. First of all, some parents think that long-hour study of special training courses is more required for their future's progeny than other games or physical activities. That is because, in modern life, various top universities require their students to have a perfect report to follow the educational programs at these schools. We can see that if you want to pass the entrance examination to the universities which have high reputation, you have to highly focus on some compulsory subjects like Mathematics, Literature, and English. Additionally, they believe that games or other sports will not help them succeed in life or choose a suitable career. Therefore, all of their attention should be focused on science and other vital subjects in school.
(CONCLUSION) To reiterate, I strongly believe in the numerous advantages of physical education in terms of healthy growth and development as well as relieving stress and anxiety. However, there are several plus points to concentrate on academics during school time regarding broadening children's general knowledge and also orienting students to have a better future. | When using the 2 paragraph format for this comparative discussion, you must provide your point of view for each public opinion. That means you have to present your opinion at the end of the public analysis.These general statements are unacceptable as you fail to identify the difference between the public opinion and your personal point of new. This leads to confusion for the reader who needs to identify the differing opinions.
You cannot reiterate an opinion in the conclusion that was notspelled out in the previous paragraphs. This is the one opinion essay discussion that does not use a single point of view. The lack of correct 3rd person and first person pronouns is the source of the presentation confusion. |
## is it the governent role to tackle the obesity problem among children?
In many parts of the world, it is increasingly common for children to gain weight out of control and lead a sedentary lifestyle over the past few decades. While many people argue that it is essential for the government to tackle this problem, I completely disagree with this statement because parents and young individuals should be responsible for this.
There are several reasons why it is not the government's obligation to handle increasing overweight problems and unhealthy lifestyles among children. Firstly, the government has to take responsibility for other serious problems that have immediate impacts on the development of a country. For instance, manifold imperative issues that are directly associated with national security or devastating environmental phenomena need more of the government's concern. As a result, if the government had to be accountable for dealing with the prevalence of overweight and an unhealthy lifestyle among teenagers, it would lead to the lack of time and national budgets allocated for other more serious problems. Another argument is that the popularity of children's overweightness arises from their unhealthy eating habits and their sedentary lifestyles. In other words, teenagers, nowadays, consume too much fast food which are rich in saturated fat and deficient in nutritious substances and spend hours and hours staring at interactive screens instead of taking regular exercise. Therefore, it is definitely true that children should take responsibility for their obesity rather than the government.
Moreover, I hold a belief that parents of children who are suffering from overweightness should be liable for this matter. They should pay attention to which food their offspring eat everyday. By doing so,they can make a great contribution to controlling the balance of nutrients in children's diet, reducing the incidence of being overweight among children. Moreover, parents should educate their kids about dire consequences of the excessive consumption of junk food so that they can be more aware of their unhealthy eating habits. In addition, it can make a huge difference to the decrease in children's weight, if parents limit the amount of time allowed for using the Internet and other online platforms and encourage them to take part in outdoor activities to lead a more active lifestyle.
In conclusion, I believe that the government has no duty to address the obesity issue which is increasingly popular among children since it is the responsibility of children and their parents | The prompt restatement is totally inaccurate. It fails to refer to the original statement as it adds a discussion on a sedentary lifestyle along with a misplaced time frame reference. Both additions have changed the original statement leading to an unrelated topic representation. However, the reference to government responsibility and accurate response presentation saved the paragraph score.There will be a minimal deduction applied for the erroneous first sentence.
overweight problems and unhealthy lifestyles
Redundant words used in the essay. Use synonyms or refrain from the constant mention as it will result in a score down based on memorized phrases.
sedentary lifestyles
This is a topic that is not included in the original presentation. The constant reference further adds to the score markdown.
Moreover
Repeated transition word. Work on synonym usage. |
I am new and my English is also not so good. Pl. suggest for improvement
## Current pandemic impact on my low score at exam
In my 12th Exam I got 76% marks based on my internal assessment , I was totally dissatisfied with such low score , my expectation was somewhere ~95%. So I decided to challenge it, I file petition for the same.
Later on review committee approve my case to appear in offline test paper. I was doing my preparation for it but destiny had decided something different for me. Just before the paper I started feeling uneasiness in breathing, cold & fever. Later Test report clear that I was infected with Covid-19 Virus. I was shifted to hospital.
My parents discussed with school authority, they agreed to make isolated arrangement for me, if I discharge from hospital before paper.
It was my fighting instinct, Parents & Doctor's support, which always encourage me in recovery. Finally I went to the exam center, feeling very week, there was no co-ordination in between brain & body , it seems I have no control on my body.
I knew now I cannot achieve what I was expected but still I cannot accept defeat and surrender to the devil , known as Covid-19. | I am not sure if this paper is meant to be used in an academic appeal or, if it is just an English writing exercise. Eitherway, it is too short a presentation. While it this to build up drama in 2 aspects; as a struggling student and later, as a Covid- 19 patient, it fails on both counts. The writer does not adequately convince the leader that he was wronged during the first test and, that he was too affected by Covid when he took the second test. An admission of fault to some degree on the student's part would have helped show repentance and a desire to correct his faults while overcoming obstacles. It would have shown that Covid was the unknown factor that prevented his success. |
## Youngsters - the future of humanity
We are living in an era of development and innovation so everything gradually becomes better and better. On the other hand, there are still more problems about criminals, discrimination, rich-poor gap,... In which, the problem of young people can not be missing. Because youngsters are very important for future of humanity.
In my opinion, there are tow main problem in the youngsters:
The first, most young people often meet the issue of psychology and ethics. At of age, they have rebellious tendencies and feel without one person understanding them. The way for this is adults should take care young people more than. If youngsters feel alone, adults should listen to them and after give advice but attention avoids force them or judgments. The role of adult people should be a supporter, not a controller.
The second, pressure scores and achievements in school from them parents or someone in the family. Adult in the house impose children their must is good student and do not allow children play, only focus on learn. Everything of children are decided by mature people, such as chose career, interfere in relationships, favourite,... The over supervise cause young people to feel the house is like a prison. Besides, study continually not play leads to stress and they could not they less attitude. And so adult people especially in family should sympathy and promote them study instead of constrain. Educating young people about self-discipline and independence from an early age is more reasonable than restricting them.
After all, youngsters lack experience and they need proper look after by mature people. Because without young people there would be no adults. They are like bricks that make up a strong stronghold of all humans. | The restatement plus opinion paragraph will get an automatic failing scou as the writers representation does not reflect the original topic not the discussion instructions in any way. This will be considered an irrelevant representation and as such, be awarded the most relevant non-passing paragraph score. Once an essay fails to adhere to the original requirements, it will be considered an alteration and be scored based on its inapplicability to the discussion. It will prevent a passing score once other errors, such as incorrect punctuation use is added (Note: a comma can never be succeeded by an ellipse. No successive punctuation usage is allowed in English grammar).
tow
Vocabulary weakness based on lack of proofreading. Tow means to pull, Two is a numerical reference.
At of age
What age? Grammatical confusion leading to points deduction.
The essay will recieve the lowest marks possible as the exam taker shows clear evidence of not being properly educated about various sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar rules. He is incapable of writing a coherent sentence, much less a paragraph. More theoretical grammar lessons are needed before the student attempts to write another task 2 essay. |
***Many claim that the fast food industry had negative effects on the environment, eating habits and families.
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?***
The prevalence of fast food is widely deemed to be detrimental to Mother Nature as well as key aspects of a healthy life, including diets and domestic relationships. Personally, I am an ardent advocate of the mentioned viewpoint.
That convenience food adversely affects what one eats is readily apparent. A rise in red meat, salt and calories intakes is witnessed for virtually all people embarking upon the consumption of fast food on a regular basis, compared to their previous self-cooked meals with fresh ingredients bought from the market which might be more of an organic nature. In other words, owing to fast food being easily accessible to them, these individuals switch from a more or less healthier home-made diet to quick meals want of nutritions and high in substances that give rise to severe health issues such as hypertension, obesity and cardiovascular diseases.
Opponents of fast food also point to the fact that the constant use of it contributes to family aloofness, with which I consent. Ready meals of this kind deprive husbands and wives, as well as parents and children, of the opportunity to prepare and have dinner together after working separately for a whole day. This absence of family activities could, over a long period of time, induces a frosty atmosphere and a lack of mutual understanding among family members.
In addition, there are environmental concerns raised with regards to the increasingly expanding junk food industry. Hamburgers, one of the most celebrated types of fast food, have beef as their core component. The significant demand for such ingredient encourages the farming of beef cattle, whose excrement releases methane, which is an even more potent candidate than carbon dioxide as a culprit behind global warming.
To conclude, I am convinced that the expense of fast food brands thriving is the public's dietary plans and domestic happiness, as well as the environment, Earth's atmosphere in particular, are all negatively impacted. | While the writer shows a relatively wide English vocabulary, the writing is mostly devoid of a logical discussion. A native English speaker will easily recognize that the writer has said the same thing repeatedly in the same paragraph. There is a lack of discussion development that adds depth to the discussion. The writer comes across as a writer who is more focused on word count rather than the coherence and cohesiveness of the statements.
There are transition words used in the essay, but not enough. As there are 3 topics for discussion more transition words and transition sentences should be found/read in the writing. The writer must focus on the substance of the essay, not just vocabulary usage. |
## are organic products beneficial as advertised?
Nowadays, since consumers are increasingly aware of what they are purchasing and eating, organic food products have gained in popularity over the past few years. This essay will highlight both the benefits and the drawbacks which result from such a switch from unclean food goods to safe and hygienic ones.
Looking firstly at the positives, one major upside is that the production of organic products involves eco-friendly farming methods. Therefore, not only will farmers be able to save a certain amount of money, but the serious soil and water pollution will be mitigated and bettered. What is more, because of the reduced quantity of chemical substances used in the manufacturing process of organic food, such products are cleaner and safer to consume.
However, apart from the advantages which this kind of goods has to offer, it is worth taking into account that organic food does present some issues. The main justification for this view is its higher prices compared to non-organic food. This is due to the fact that the requirements for organic farming are much more challenging and difficult to meet. Because when little or no synthetic pesticides and chemicals are used, more manual labor, physical work, and time will be needed. Lastly, with the absence of chemical substances, organic goods suffer from short durability despite being clean as well as healthy. Hence, were not to be consumed in time, a great deal of organic food will be wasted.
To conclude, although organic products are beneficial in terms of the environment's and our well-being, they still post certain problems. | There is a time reference confusion in the first paragraph.
Nowadays
refers to most recent events over the past week.
past few years
refers to the past 2 or 3 years. The writer should use a definite reference to time only once. It will be better to use the reference "nowadays" then end the definite statement with a period after "popularity". It creates a more confident statement.
However, that paragraph still suffers from an over- generalization as it claims that "all consumers" have started buying organic food. Since not all food shoppers have done so, the statement must indicate such a seperation through the use of hedging words such as "some people" or" a number of consumers". Over - generalization has the same meaning altering effect as an exaggeration.
The first reason is good in terms of reasoning but does not do well in terms of supporting examples. The positive effects of organic farming need to be seen through publicly known beneficial examples. Offer evidence that your claims have a real world basis. The second reasoning paragraph is a bit better explained with commonly known evidence. The last part of that paragraph though, it suffers from clarity issues due to improper sentence development. The subject is missing from the result.
An advantage v. disadvantage essay does not require a personal opinion.Therefore the concluding summary presentation is improper as it offers an unsolicited opinion. This will be the source of a heavy final score deduction. By the way, always write more than 40 words for this portion for it to qualify for a score. |
## London's museums visitors
The given bar chart illustrates the number of people visiting four certain museums in London during the period of 5 months starting from june.
In general, August witnessed the highest number of visitors in all four museums, especially British museum while nearly the lowest number of people going to the museums in december.
In terms of the first two months during the investigated period, British and science museums had the highest number of visitors of over 400000 people for both. In contrast, people visited national museum the least with the number of approximately 200000 which was nearly twice less than the other two mentioned museums.
Moving to the 3 months period starting from august, we witnessed a gradual decline by almost 300000 people who visited British museum. history and national museum also experienced a decrease in the number of visitors of over 400000 and 100000 respectively. The number of visitors to science museum, on the other hand, fluctuated during this period of time.
* | four certain museums
The 4 museums have reference names in the chart. For summary compliance , you have to mention the number then list the museum names.The list helps keep the vader on track once reading the trending statement. Notice that you mention one museum name as the high, you should mention the name of the low as well. That shows the reader an overview analysis on your end and further clarifies the purpose of the report. Be specific be precise. your starting score depends on it.
first two months during the investigated period
Use the specifics as indicated in the image. The months are given for a purpose, to help the reader understand your report. The reader will be confused by the erratic information presentation. Once confusion and stress sets in for the reader, your scores will suffer in at least 2 ways. |
## blockbusters comparison
Blockbusters are absolutely very good cinematography works, so they always have numerous viewers and achieve great commercial success. This essay is going to compare blockbusters of the biggest film industry - Hollywood and those of Vietnam - a small country in the world.
A significant difference is quality. Firstly, Hollywood has far more blockbusters than Vietnamese ones. People these days are likely to enjoy some categories like fictional, violent and action movies, which are well-developed by Hollywood. To illustrate, Marvel series films about superheroes are on top of the world in terms of the rating. Hollywood blockbusters not only include so many gripping plots, but the cinematic effect is also professional and lively as well. That is the reason why they are watched so widely. On the other hand, movies in Vietnam are often series of romantic or psychological dramas about real life. Moreover, it seems Vietnamese cinematic technology is not skillful enough to make attractive scenes. Consequently, they are hardly influential to many people.
The next difference is actors. The actors in Hollywood blockbusters are selected carefully from various countries. They tend to be experienced so that they can be flexible in expressing emotions and handle every scene. In addition, they have already had a certain number of fans all over the world. As a result, those actors play an important part in making a film into a blockbuster. In contrast, there are rarely foreigners in blockbusters of Vietnam. Almost the cast are Vietnamese who are not well-known, thus they cannot attract many people worldwide. That is one of the reasons why there are few Vietnamese blockbusters although some films are so excellent.
Besides the contrasts, they also have their similarities. Each of them are built with the director's enthusiasm and much assistance from the others. Their works contain meanings and lessons of life in order that the viewers can understand and learn from them.
In conclusion, these two kinds of blockbusters have both differences and similarities. There are rather many aspects that Hollywood blockbusters outweigh Vietnamese ones such as the quality and the actors. However, the meaningful lessons of all these works delivered to us are the same. | The original topic basis is not clearly interpreted in the first paragraph.The writer opens with an opinion about cinematography, then goes on to discuss a totally different focus. The writer fails to provide a clear topic restatement and opinion presentation. Which is the actual topic, cinematography or a comparison discussion? This is a highly confusing opening statement. It goes in 2 different discussion directions.
The conclusion speaks of differences and similarities. However, only differences are present in both discussion paragraphs. It is safe to say that the writer failed to create a discussion outline before writing this paper. Even worse, he did not check for prompt compliance after writing it. Add to these the grammar problems and you can see why this is a failing score essay. It barely addresses whatever the original prompt is. |
## TRAFFIC CONGESTION IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY PROBLEMATIC IN MAJOR CITIES.
***WHAT ARE THE CAUSES? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST TO HELP SOLVE THE PROBLEM?***
It is true that in recent years traffic congestion in a number of leading cities is becoming progressively problematic. There are a number of causes caused by this phenomenon and several measures can be implemented to cope up with the situation.
The traffic congestion may result in two main issues. Firstly, traffic jams during the rush hour in light of the fact that people frequently finish their work and comeback home at 5pm every day. For example, a Vietnamese article shows that around 45% Vietnamese employees often finish there work at 5pm, so that tendency leads to traffic jams. Secondly, cars and road space are not used efficiently. For instance, the average car, is 80% empty when it is being driven by a single person. And most of the day, cars are totally empty and its requirements zone for parking on the street.
Fortunately, a variety of solutions can be implemented by the government. Firstly, workers should share their cars and travel together consequently cars cannot be empty and have more road area for people. For instance, a car has 4 or even 7 seats, they can take 4 or 7 people together so they do not need to use their own car to occupy the area. In addition, public transport needs to be reliable and efficient. In fact, they can use bus or subway instead of using their own vehicle to travel to work due to the fact it does wonders for environment to save the fresh air and can restrict city traffic.
To sum up, traffic jams during the rush hour and cars and road space are not used efficiently are two main major causes of traffic congestion. In order to solve these problems, a combination of methods should be applied by the government of each nation. | It is true
Avoid providing a personal opinion in the restatement paragraph. By changing the purpose of the orginal topic presentation you misrepresent the discussion's prior purpose. The restatement must be a factual interpretation of the orginal without embellishments.
And
Conjunctions used at the start of a sentence lowers the GRA score. Connecting words are used only in the middle of a sentence that connects 2 ideas. Academic papers cannot be written using conjunctions at the start.
most of the day, cars are totally empty and its requirements zone for parking on the street.
This sentence is confusing. What does the requirements for zone parking relate to the discussion? This will definitely pull down the score due to lack of coherence Always fully explain the references to avoid that possibility.
a combination of methods
These must be summarized in the conclusion as well. |
***More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations.
Some people believe it would be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, while others think that the government should develop new towns in rural areas.***
## Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In our modern society, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on constructing new accommodation to meet the demand of the increasing population. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider now.
On the one hand, it is commonly believed that a huge amount of money for construction purposes can be reduced if new houses are placed on the existing town. A well developed infrastructure in major cities is expected to be well integrated with any nearby resident. As a result, a significant amount of the state budget for building new services is unnecessary. In addition, living in the cities offer a wider range of well-paid careers, which means settling down in the urban areas is prioritized by the government and numerous citizens.
On the other hand, one major benefit of developing in rural areas, which also means lowering the population density is that the deteriorating tendency of polluting is probably stopped. Having an equal number of inhabitants in different areas also improved the average living standard considerably,as well as creating proper service for people living in the countryside,...
In conclusion, it is apparent that the benefit of developing in the countryside outweighs its disadvantages. Authority should converted more and more empty space for the benefit of nation, | There are valid opinions on both sides
These should be restated in the paragraph.That is why it is identified as the topic restatement paragraph. The paragraph has failed to accomplish the 1st task requirement.
which I will consider now.
Incorrect task writing restatement and missing opinion presentation.
\*The first paragraph totally fails to meet the topic restatement + opinion presentation requirements. It will recieve a failing sectional score.
The discussion paragraphs fail to represent the required individual paragraphs for the public opinion. The essay is based solely on the private opinion of the writer. As such, only one formatting requirement was met out of 2. This could cause a final scoring problem for the exam taker. The response is non-task compliant. The writer must learn to identify the required discussion styles. This one was comparative + personal opinion rather than a single opinion presentation. |
***'Failure is proof that the desire wasn't strong enough.'***
## To what extent do you agree with this statement?
***Tasks:***
It is believed that failure is the consequence of ambitions shortage. This essay aims to provide an insight into this statement, which illustrates the writer's perspective of a partial agreement.
On the one hand, people holding the idea that will power is linked to success may derive their standpoint from two salient reasons, Firstly, it is desire that becomes a boost in motivation and productivity, which is no doubt to be a catalyst for individuals starting to improve their performance, by taking new courses or being more open to painful trauma from the past for instance. This will increase one's probability of success. Secondly, determination can also enhance one's self-discipline. Failure possibility, as a result, is far more likely to pale into insignificance since a person will not easily to give up on their progress on half way.
When it comes to the other hand, it is evitable that there are several points deterring people from touching their dream in inches regardless of their effort. One factor may come from themselves, particularly when an individual has inappropriate methods. Taking a student studying for her Mathematics exam for as an example, provided that she has burnt the midnight oil learning all premises from the workbook, good grade can be made if she doesn't practice practical exercises before. Another explanation is rooted from external factors such as unanticipated loss of electricity supply or an accident prior to the interview day, which are out of a person's control. In these scenarios, no will power is able to regain the missed opportunity.
In general, the conclusion gained from given points is that desire is not the only part that determine one's victory but still a key factor leading one's to their achievement. | This essay aims to provide an insight into this statement, which illustrates the writer's perspective of a partial agreement.
Is someone else other than you writing this essay? No? Then why are you referring to yourself in the third person ? Give a direct response based on a first person reference as required by the orginal reference
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?
Respond directly and say why.
people holding the idea
Do not discuss other people's opinions. What you are required to present is what you think. Other people do not matter. This reference is a task inaccuracy in terms of discussion presentation. Everything about this essay should be presented in first person structures.
When it comes to the other hand
Why can't you refer to yourself directly? This essay will fail based on the general discussion format used. The required referencing and discussion format was not used. |
## The bar chart analysis
The bar chart shows the illustration of the number of people visiting four different museums located in London.
Overall, it could be observed that the British Museum was the most popular while the National one was the least common. Additionally, most visitors had the tendency to visit museums in August; in contrast, December witnessed the lowest number of visitors.
At the beginning of summer, there was no change in the number of tourists in the History Museum, British Museum and National Museum, except for the Science one. It was obvious that the Museum of Science experienced a slight increase, from more than 400,000 to exactly 400,000 people.
In August, the British Museum, History Museum, and National museum soared dramatically, with approximately 700,000; 600,000, and 300,000 people respectively. However, in the last two months of the period, the figures for these 3 museums dropped significantly. In terms of the Science museum, the number of tourists fluctuated from 400,000 to 300,00 people and reached a point of 600,000 visitors at the end of fall.
* | four different museums
Since you mention 2 out of 4 museums in the tending paragraph, you may as well list all 4 locations as a part of the summary. That way the discussion targets are correctly enumerated for reference purposes.
At the beginning of summer,
Do not change the data reference. Months were originally used as these help to clearly report the numerical references. Use the same method. Using the seasonal reference is creative but uninformative and confusing. This sort of creativity will cause C + C and GRA markdowns for obvious reasons.
You only used the month reference once, then continued to confuse the reader with other reference types. Focus on reference continuity next time to avoid stressing out the reader. |
IELTS 1
Please rate my essay, thank you.
## **The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location.**
*Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.*
The diagram illustrates a wind turbine specification in general and the best location to install it. Generally, according to the picture all of the wind turbine types need wind to produce power in order to generate an electricity.
To begin with, the generator can generate maximum electricity if the position is built on a hillside. This is because the position has a possibility to get maximum wind strengths. Then, followed by the second position of turbine in the sea that it can produce medium electricity. But, for domestic use, the output is about to 100 kilowatts because it is a small size.
The wind turbine usually have 3 main parts there are steel tower, generator, and blades that are built from fibreglass or wood. The generator can generate up to 1.5 megawatts. However, the wind turbine needs a sensor and a computer to get better condition of wind speed and wind direction.
* | The diagram
Incorrect reference in relation to S v. P. 2 illustrations are presented. Your reference is for one image only while describing 2 different mage content. The grammar and word choice rules for plural references was not followed in the sentence word choice and formation..
When 2 images are presented, use one paragraph to discuss each image. Each paragraph should focus on only 1 image, report, and idea. That image focus will help with the reporting clarity. The comparison should be mentioned or completed within the trending statement. The reporting paragraphs lack focus because of the combined reporting data. It tends to confuse the reader in terms of information tracking and image relationship. Use as many as 4 paragraphs when dealing with 2 image reports. |
## The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.
Ans:
The chart gives information about water use by sector agriculture, industrial use, domestic use and water consumption in two countries Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo.
Overall, the amount of using water in Agriculture from 1900 to 2000 is larger proportion than Industrial use and Domestic use. We also can see that the water consumption per person in Brazil is higher than Democratic Republic of Congo.
In 1900, the proportion of Industrial use and Domestic use are only at about one-tenth of 1000km3 of water use by sector. While Agriculture is accounts for 500km3 of water use by sector from the chart. By 2000 had risen significantly in three sectors, but Agriculture still highest, peaked at 3000km3, while Industrial use had risen under 2000km3, only about 1200km3 and Domestic use is the lowest sector, had risen slowly approximately 500km3.
In the year 2000, the population in Brazil and Congo were 176 million and 5.2 million respectively. So the water consumption per person in Brazil is higher than in Congo, at 359m3 and 8m3 respectively. This could be explained by the fact that Brazil had 265 times more than Congo in irrigated land.
* | The summary is not a complete overview of the image. Only one of the 2 image types has been described. While only water consumption in 2 countries was given a short form statement. The second image representation is not touched on at all. It was not even part of the trending paragraph. Yet, It is included as a reference in the discussion paragraphs.
The writer has confused the image presentations in the whole essay. This creates a confusing and improper report. Due to the lack of analysis seperation, the essay does not deliver an accurate assessment of the data.
The 2 reporting paragraphs must represent one image each . The individual report is what creates an understandable analysis. The lack of which will lead this essay to fail. |
## The diagram demonstrates the production of making bricks for the building industry.
The process of producing bricks involves 7 main stages beginning with digging the clay and ending with delivering products.
First of all, the clay is dig by the digger. All the clay is filtered through the metal grid and drop into the roller. In the next step, clay is mixed with sand and water. This mixture is cut in a wire cutter or put it in a mould to create a brick. The bricks are dried in drying oven between 24 to 48 hours. After drying stage, the bricks are putted in the kiln and kilned at moderate temperature from 200 to 980 Celsius degree. The temperature is high up from 870 to 1300 Celsius degree. And the manufacturers cooling the bricks with the cooling chamber within 48 to 72 hours. Last but not least, all the bricks are packaged and get delivered. | While the writer must be commended for his writing efforts, it must be pointed out that his process explanation does not meet the task 1 minimum writing standards. This description fell short of the following basic specifications:
- The total word count must be 150 words or more, but never more than 200 words
- The procedure must be summarized in one paragraph, then explained over 2 more paragraphs (3 paragraphs in total )
Inability to deliver the starling requirements will result in early score deductions. When early deductions are applied, the essay normally does not achieve a passing score when the points are totalled.
The writer has an understanding of the process but, cannot express himself in a properly written English sentence. Aside from the formatting error, there are mistakes in word usage and tense references, both of which deliver a great GRA deduction as well. It is difficult to envision this presentation as a high assessment writing piece. |
*Please leave some comments on my writing. Thanks a lot!*
## the percentage of water used for different purposes
As can be seen, the pie charts compare data on the differences in the proportion of water consumption for agricultural, domestic and industrial purposes in six continents of the world
In general, water for agriculture accounted for the highest percentage in Asian areas, Africa and South America whereas in North America and Europe, water was mainly used for industrial purpose.
To be more specific, the largest proportion of industrial water use can be observed in Central Asia with more than eight-tenths of the total water used. The proportion of industrial water use was lower than the numbers for household purpose with a gap of 2% in Africa and Central Asia and 9% in South America. South East Asia, however, presented the opposite with 12% for industry and only 7% for domestic use.
In terms of North America and Europe, it is obvious that industry sector consumed the highest amount of water, constituting 48% and 53% respectively, Moreover, the water for agriculture in both continents was also larger than the figures of household use, which tripled in North America and more than doubled in Europe.
* | in six continents of the world
Enumerate the continents. Additionally, this should be presented as the second summary overview sentence.
Asian areas
There are 2 areas cited.These need to be identified individually for accuracy purposes in the trending statement.
To be more specific
Why the over emphasis?This is unnecessary since you are doing a general rather than a focused report. Using that phrase does not imply analysis, just a focus on a topic. It is not needed in a task 1 essay.
You have the potential to score well in this essay. Just remember that you need to provide specific data at the start and offer comparative analysis accurately throughout. More practice is required. This presentation is a good enough start. |
*Question:
## Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.
**To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?***
It is argued that government should invest more money on the railway system instead of roads. From my point of view, I strongly agree with this idea because railways bring enormous benefits to our lives.
To begin with, the development of the railroad system will facilitate long distance travel and the transportation of bulk goods with speed and certainty. Railways can be seen as one of the fastest modes of transport second only to airways. Trains can reach a speed of more than 300 km/h and they have an extremely large carrying capacity compared to other vehicles such as cars, motorbikes or airplanes. Therefore, railway transport is the perfect choice for traffic, especially long distance travel with heavy loads of goods.
In addition, the railway network also makes a great contribution to the protection of the environment. We know that CO2 emissions from vehicles are the primary driver of global climate change and air pollution. Hence, improving rail routes is an effective way to encourage public switching from private vehicles to more eco-friendly ones like trains or trams. The more people travel by railways, the less toxic gases are generated and emitted to our environment.
In conclusion, government should consider spending more money on developing the railway network than constructing roads. Railway is not only an effective solution for environmental problems but it also makes our traveling activities easier and more convenient.
*Please leave some feedback on my essay. Many thanks* | Excellent restatement and an equally admirable thesis response. This is a strong response foundation and the TA score will reflect that. I have to admit that even the reasoning paragraphs are well thought out. The writer clearly understood the topic and discussion format requirements. The ideas presented are clear and tremendously relevant to the essay. This piece of writing shows that the writer has the potential to score as high as an 8 or 9. The writer has that ability, but it was underutilized in this presentation.
The writer has only 232 words in this presentation. Not writing 250 words, the writer forced score markdown based on wordcount instead. Further explanation development in every paragraph would have prevented that. Instead of a passing score, the writer may fail instead. |
## Australian household energy use and the greenhouse gas emissions
An average of using energy in some terms of Australian families is showed in the first pie chart, followed by the proportion of the greenhouse gas emissions as a result in the rest chart.
It is noticeable that heating and water heating are two types having the most using. However, only water heating makes up the highest proportion of gas emission and the second is other appliances.
Australian use 40% of energy in heating and 30% in water heating. While the percentage of lighting and cooling just stand at below 5%, the figure of other appliances is higher at 15%.
Even though energy use of warming is the highest, its emissions is far less likely about two times. Exhausting produced by cooling and water heating conduct approximately similar number of using stamina. Figure for others release more than twice consumption, followed by lighting at 8%, refrigeration at 15% and alternative appliances at 28%
* | When you wite a trending statement for 2 images, remember to identify the image type along with the thend for differentiation purposes. since the images carry similar information listings, the reader must be clued in on the location and relationship of the trend. The trending statement is a large part of the accuracy score so you have to do well in that portion in as much as it relates to the summary overview.
The first image analysis is incomplete. You did not compare your written data with the image content. This image provides enough content for at least 3 more reference sentences. The second image is better represented and more accurate in terms of discussion. Never forget to connect the data with the image anchor. The essay you wrote is really confusing to read due to the lack of image guide / reference. |
## TASK 2 IELTS WRITING: Positive or negative trend?
***Question:** In some cities, the government has tried to reduce traffic by imposing congestion tax during rush hours. Is this positive or negative?*
Congestion pricing has been applied in a number of countries as a solution to heavy traffic in this day and age. While many maintain that it brings certain benefits, I believe that this is a negative development since it cannot fully tackle the traffic crisis and arouse deep discontent among the masses towards the government.
The main reason why I suppose this trend is unfavorable is because congestion tax alone is unlikely to thoroughly resolve the traffic problem. To elaborate, it does not reduce the people's legitimate need to travel at peak hours, thereby people remain driving on roads although they are taxed. Hence, this tax measure is considered to be costly and meaningless for both commuters and governments as it does not reach its primary goal to reduce the number of vehicles available in multiple cities.
Moreover, congestion tax would cause people's fierce discontent against their authority. This is because it puts low-income drivers under financial pressure when they have to pay a very regular amount of money each day just for movement while there are other living expenses that are more essential for them to deal with. As a result, people would question the practicality and effectiveness of this promised solution for traffic overload - congestion tax, and whether it is a disguised profiteering behavior of state officials. Once people feel their rights are threatened, they would develop hatred towards their government and stand up against it, leading to uncontrollable chaos in the community.
In short, I firmly believe this is a negative trend due to its ineffectiveness in reducing traffic as well as increasing discontent in the community. Given this situation, the government should apply more optimal measures such as investing in upgrading public transportation and investing in building bridges.
Note: Please check this for me. I really appreciate that. | in this day and age.
There is no need to add this memorized please to the sentence. It makes the sentence definitely sound ESL and kind of weakens the grammar range in terms of sentence structure and writing control. Avoid memorized please use in your essays going forward. Those are definitely score lowering references.
suppose
You cannot suppose. When you suppose, you ask the reader to consider (something) as a possibility suggested or an idea or plan proposed. while you might refer to this as a point of arguement, the score you recieve in a task 2 essay is based on the validity and clarity of your opinion. The use of this word instead indicates uncertainty thus negating your originally stated opinion.
Given this situation, the government should apply more optimal measures
The instruction does not include the presentation of a possible solution. Adding unnecessary discussion points, specially in the concluding summary will cause additional deductions to the score. By the way, you forgot to include the topic replacement before the reasoning summary. |
## the choice of most suitable job
A suitable career plays a significant role in one's life. Many people believe that when selecting a job, the most vital aspect that should be concerned is the payment. To the best of my knowledge, I partly agree with this point of view because whether the job helps people to improve or not is also considerable.
On the one hand, it is true that a well-paid job brings about many advantages. Obviously, without money, people cannot meet their basic needs. For example, everyone needs money to pay for housing, bills, education, health care, transportation fares and so on. Therefore, people tend to prioritize a job with high salary which not only covers their demand but also enables them to raise living standard easily. If people choose their jobs based on enjoyment or other non-financial factors, they might find it difficult to support themselves. For instance, artists and musicians, who are known for pursuing their loves, do not always have abilities to live comfortably and raise a family.
On the other hand, what position of employment gives should be taken into consideration as one of the most primary features in making a job decision. Personal relationships and working environment are extremely important. Having good employers and high-qualified colleagues can make a difference to workers' levels of happiness and general quality of life. According to many experts, working condition is a huge motivation that makes people try harder and devote to their job. Moreover, many people's feelings of job satisfaction come from their professional achievements, the skills they learn, and the position they reach, rather than the money they earn.
To sum up, I agree that people should select a job having a wage that is enough for their livings. However, people also ought to consider if the job helps them to widen their knowledge, gain more experiences, and reach great achievement. When people can balance between salary and what they receive, they will able to choose to most suitable job, which opens up their opportunities of success. | The reasoning discussion of the writer mistakenly uses a comparative format. The examiner does not need to know about the advantages of the discussion. The 2 paragraphs should focus only on explaining the partial agreement based on
the job helps people to improve or not is also considerable
.
Since only one paragraph supports this opinion, a baseline passing score may be awarded based on discussion relevance and limited errors in other scoring sections. It is difficult to say with certainty that the response can get a passing score since the supporting paragraph lacks a backup supporting statement. It is underdeveloped based on reasoning requirements.
My opinion is provided without knowing if your response is relevant to the task or not. You did not provide the original prompt for my guidance. The review provided is based on a general observation alone. |
## Sports in schools for children
It is thought that sport plays a more important role in the educational environment, whereas, there is some claim that sport should not be a compulsory subject. I agree with the latter statement and the following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument.
To begin with, by playing a kind of sport, student's time would be more efficient. This leads to getting higher levels of learning results and grades. For example. Our brains are boosted while exercising, which might be helpful for long-term memories. Furthermore, participating in physical activities might prevent depression that most youngsters get from toxic social media. It is clear that considering sport as a compulsory subject is essential.
However, this line of reasoning is not sound because it wastes time doing sport as time might be more efficient in academic performance. Instead of joining in these un-worth activities, students would invest in practicing or studying, and then achieve better learning prospects that all of the students aim to. One of my classmates is a practical example. Although he plays football well, he achieves lower test scores than his peers because of not having enough time for education then neglecting his studies. In addition, physical exercise in educational programs has some strenuous exercises that are not suitable for those who have weak health. it is undeniable that sport should be remarked as a compulsory subject in education.
In short, although playing sport is a benefit for the mental as well as the physical development, I would argue that it is better if students are taught how to manage time, avoiding neglecting their academic | The writer shall only recieve a score for the personal opinion statement The essay is going to be considered for a failing score due to the lack of public opinion explanation and consideration. The essay does not have any seperation references that indicate the public opinion discussion as opposed to the personal opinion. something that is accomplished through the use of third person pronouns (as representative of the public opinion) and first person references ( for the personal opinion).
Always refer to the discussion format requirement Review the essay after drafting it. Make sure that you clearly seperate the opinions as required. This is the only essay type that will ask you to compare 3 opinions instead of only 1 as usually indicated by the prompts. |
**Topic:
*Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.*
## Discuss both views and state your opinion**
While some agreed that an international event brings plenty of advantages to its host country, others believe this has the disadvantage. In my opinion, I consider both arguments have their merits, however despite the drawback, it is still much beneficial to the country of such event.
First, a sport event is considered a tool used for supporting the economic development of a country. This means that the country can utilize an event for encouraging more spending, which enhances the economic consumer price index (CPI). For example, the events such as the World cup and Olympics are competitively fought for the right of hosting among countries, since these can bring billions of dollars to the country by attracting tourists across the world to travel in and spend a huge amount of money for various types of service.
On the other hand, it is evident that an event can also create detrimental effects on the country. In fact, there are obvious risks caused by the event which could threaten the health system of the country. For instance, in the Covid pandemic, the communicable disease seems hard to be prevented from infection, especially in a sport event where a lot of people carrying disease from different regions gather in the same place. In this situation, the country needs to put a lot of effort to avoid from badly impacted by the event.
In conclusion, although the negative impacts might happen due to the event, I still believe that hosting a sport brings many benefits far more than the disadvantage | Note the opinion basis as provided. One opinion is represented as,
Some people
. While the other side considers,
while some people
. This represents the need for a third person discussion consideration twice in the essay. That means, both points of view cannot be presented solely on the writer's opinion as you do now.
Consider each good reason for the public opinion, discuss.Then consider if you agree or disagree with the opinion and add it to the presentation. Try to successfully explain why you oppose or support it. Make sure the correct pronouns are used to represent the discussion. At this point, only the writers general opinion is present. This will recieve a score but, due to the inaccurate format, cannot recieve full marks in the TA section. |
***The tendency of human beings copy another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods.***
To whar extend do you agree or disagree?
The popularity of areas including fashion and consumer goods evidence an instinct of human beings of imitating others. While people who oppose this seize on reasons like developed marketing techniques and mass production, I contend this is widely true regarding people's fundamental needs of being appreciated and accepted.
Some people believe that it is companies' enhanced and diverse marketing techniques, as well as huge production quantity that causes the spread of fashion trends and goods, not people's tendency of copying. They think that companies have taken advantage of the popularity of the mass media and the influence of famous individuals to convince customers to buy their products. To illustrate, smartphones, when coming to the market, are often advertised by a wide range of methods including advertisements on televisions, on social media, or through recommendations of influencers or reviewers on Youtube. Additionally, because of the mass production, many people coincidently buy similar products and this coincidently ends up like they were imitating the others.
However, I take the view that people buy the same things as others because they want to satisfy their instinct of being appreciated and accepted. The reason why this is especially visible in areas such as fashion and goods is that these two fields are the easiest ways for human beings to imitate others and to be regarded. People often form their initial impression and the foremost judgment of others based on their looks, and they often are more friendly and cooperative when encountering people that are "the same" as them. Therefore, human beings tend to wear what people around them wear. Teenagers wear jeans, hoodies, or several "weird" fashion styles mostly because their friends do the same things, and having similar fashion tastes lets them be more recognized by their peers.
In conclusion, although some people think the spread of fashion and goods is the result of effective use of the media and mass manufacture, I contend that this phenomenon represents an instinct of being a part of a tribe that is rooted in human beings. Moreover, people should be aware of the impact of this instinct when purchasing to avoid financial waste.
*Thank you so much for spending time reading and revising my essay!* | While people who oppose this
Where did you get this idea? It is not a part of the original prompt reference. This makes your statement inaccurate enough to recieve a significant accuracy markdown. Do not add topics to the original statement.
I contend this is widely true
Good answer. Wrong response format. Where is the measured and emotional response as required by the extent question? This is going to ensure that the essay immediately fails half the scoring requirements.
It is quite unfortunate that you misunderstood the discussion question and response format requirements. You truly have a good control of sentence structure and your discussions are logical on a simple basis. However, the misrepresented discussion angle is what prevents this from becoming a passing score essay. Better familiarity with various response formats should help you avoid the same error in the future. |
## car ownership in the UK from 1975 to 2005
The line gragh shows the figures for the number of UK commuters who own one or more cars over the period of 30 years.
It is clear that the owner of one car made up the greatest level, whereas the number of people who got for their own three cars comprised a negligible point over the period shown.
In the year 1975, about 43 percent of people in the UK did not own any car, at the same percentage was the number of one - car owner with 45 percent. Also in that year, the percentage of people who had two cars and three cars was quite small, 7 percent and 3 percent respectively. However, the year 1985 saw a drammatical decline in the firgure for people who had no car or one car only. In contrast, the one who got two cars or three cars rose slightly in the number.
From 1985 to 2005, there was a gradual fall in the percentage of commuters who did not buy themselves a car to 22 percent, while the percentage people own one car increased again to 45 percent. This period also witnessed a moderate growth in the number of UK owner of two cars and three cars. | over the period of 30 years.
Seeing as how this is the summary overviews you cannot use other year measurement references yet. If you mustuse other year measurements, never forget to indicate the actual years covered otherwise, the summary is incomplete in terms of accurate data presentation and could recieve a reduced sectional score.
the owner of one car
The phrase is inaccurate in the sense that it is in singular form when the image provides a plural measurement for "single car owners". This is a sentence formation problem.
there was a gradual fall in the percentage
You have to present the starting percentage to help the reader understand the fall rate and final figure.
witnessed a moderate growth
Of what percentage?
Basically, the writer needs to work on accurate data presentation in relation to report clarity. There are also several spelling evors that show a lack of editing and proofreading.The essay will fail based an LR and GRA errors. |
## the CTV cameras are everywhere
The blistering pace of industrialization has came up with the prevalence of surveillance. While I recognize that critics may regard this as an infringement of privacy, I feel that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. It deniable that surveillance cameras has facilitated our lives in many different ways. The proliferation of CTV cameras greatly contribute to deter criminal and prevent crime. For example, once thieves realise that your home and business is protected by a closed circuit television system, they invariably choose to go somewhere else. Moreover, installing security camera offers remote monitoring. All of our CTV observed and controlled remotely through an Iphone, Laptop or other device via the internet and thus protect society from any threat and provide people with sense of safety and security. But to acknowledge only the positive impact would be short-sighted. If " convenience" is what we gain from all of this technology, then freedom is one things we lose. These camera infringe our privacy by allowing other people continually monitor us. Many people find thus intrusive and feel that recording their movement is form of state control that restrict their personal liberty. Given the above arguments, it is reasonable to conclude that although surveillance have some benefits the negative influence it has produced should not be overlooked because the downsides far exceed the merits. | As a tank 2 essay, this writing fails to meet 2 scoring considerations:
- Failure to meet the Minimum 250 word count requirement
- Response incompatibility with the discussion question.
Both errors will result in at least a 50 % score reduction in total based on applicable deductions per section. With such a high deduction rate, it may be difficult to achieve a passing score.
The original opinion discussion is supposed to be based on the following consideration: *What do you feel is more important, personal privacy or public safety ?* The discussion the writer used was not based on the provided opinion question since he is using an advantage v. disadvantage presentation. It is a discussion format.not related to the topic.
Additionally, the writer did not follow the 4 paragraph writing format for this essay. That is another score markdown and is perhaps the main reason that the wordcount was not met. |
## Number of tourists visiting a Caribbean island
The graph indicates the number of visitors going a Caribbean island from 2010 to 2017. Both the number of visitors staying on cruise ships and those staying on island are increasing. Overall, The total number of people visiting Caribbean island generally higher than those staying on cruise ships.
The lowest number of visitors is in 2010, for visitors staying on cruise ships are 0.25 million while those staying on island are 0.75 million.
The number of people remains unchanged for those in island at 0.75 million. In contrast, tourists who stay on cruise ships has increased to 0.5 million.
There is a rising trend in staying on island since 2011 until 2013 and reach 1.5 million which is two times higher than those staying on cruise ships, 0.5 million.On the other hand, the number of visitors on cruise ships is fluctuated.
From 2012 to 2017, there is a surge in the number of tourists staying on cruise ships and reach 2 millions, which is the highest number. The number of visitors staying in island, 1.5 million, is lower than those staying in cruise ships since 2016.
All in all, the number of tourists visit Caribbean island is increasing.
* | are increasing.
Kindly note the indicative years in the report. It ended in 2017. We are now in the year 2021. The time frame reference is incorrect. Use the past tense reference next time. This is inaccurate grammar use.
Caribbean island generally higher
Missing the third person indicative word "is" before "generally". Another grammar error.
is in 2010
staying on island are 0.75 million.
There is a rising trend
cruise ships is fluctuated
The writer shows a steady unfamiliarity with time references. There is a continual use of present tense presentations where pastreferencing should be made. These repeated GRA errors maybe the very reason this task will receive a failing score.
The writer spends time analyzing the essay but fails to edit his work. The grammar errors are very noticeable and should have been easily corrected upon first and second reading. |
## friends from schools have bigger influence on students than their teachers
Some people think that the school performance of students and their emotional maturation are affected by their classmates more than their teachers. I firmly agree with that opinion, peers have more of an impact than teachers do.
First, the school performance of students can be developed in a competitive environment with their peers. The desire to be outstanding in class makes them practice hard and stimulates their motivations to study and improve. For instance, I was very bad at English, when I attended an English class 3 three years ago and saw my peers get a high score in the test, during I just got 4 points. At moment, I had the feeling of peer pressure. And the pressure became my motivation, I started trying more, doing more exercises, and enhancing my English skill. This demonstrates that competition among peers plays an important role in enhancing students' academic results.
Second, peers have affected students through socializing. On the daily basis, among friends, we usually share things, storíe, ideas, etc than with teachers. This can help the student develop their emotional maturation and easily learn how to control the emotion. For example, when I have some problems in my life, my friends will be the first who I share about this and ask for advice. And the time I interact with my peers is always more than with my teachers. And, building relationships by spending time playing and talking with classmates is beneficial to children's emotional growth.
In conclusion, peers play an important role in improving their academic achievement as well as growing their emotional feelings. | The essay has just the right number of words for a very good scoring consideration. The effort to properly outline the prompt requirements shows that the writer put time and effort into creating an applicable prompt restatement + opinion. There are several things the writer did right in this presentation:
- The presentation of an appropriate rephrasing + reasoning foundation
- Correct single opinion explanations in both paragraphs
- The use of personal experience and public opinion as evidence and defence points
However, the writer also has a few grammatical inaccuracies present. These are minimal erron but could affect the presentation clarity and grammar score.
during I just got 4 points
Unclear action reference . The addition of the word "which" after "during" would have made a clear reference to the exam the writer took.
And
Conjuctions are connecting words for a thought or idea. It cannot therefore, be used at a sentence start where no previous idea has been presented yet. |
## HOME VS SCHOOL - BETTER PLACE TO STUDY
STUDYING ONLINE IS MORE BENEFICIAL THAN LEARNING ONLINE AT HOME
These days, it is true that studying online plays an important role in our lives now. While this development may be disadvantageous to a certain extent, I believe that its advantages are much more significant.
On the one hand, e-learning is not productive as studying in class. The reason is that by educating online, students tend to be more distracted and procrastinated by things around them. For example, instead of focusing on the lecture, some pupils could just let their phones there and play video games or watch TV, which is not allowed in schools. Consequently, their academic transcript would gradually fall.
On the other hand, I do believe the perks are on top of these drawbacks. Firstly, by teaching online, both teachers and students do not have to waste their time commuting. For instance, if in the past, educators and learners have to drive a long distance to get to school, which could take a lot of their time, now they just have to sit at their home with an electronic device connected internet to be able to study. Secondly, this teaching style would make a comfortable learning space for students. To illustrate, having excessive noise in the direct classroom could cause disturbance and thereby affect knowledge acquisition. Therefore, by distance education, students can learn in the most comfortable way, and then they can improve their understanding.
In conclusion, while the traditional classes may have some value, I hold the belief that they are eclipsed by the advantages above. | These days, it is true that studying online plays an important role in our lives now.
This is a personal reflection of the writer. It is not a correct nor accurate prompt topic replacement. This sentiment is not relevant to the paragraph scoring requirements. This representation will cause a scoring deduction.
While this development may be disadvantageous to a certain extent, I believe that its advantages are much more significant.
An answer was provided but, it is not the proper response as it does not reflect the original prompt topic and discussion question which is:
*Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*
The prompt restatement + opinion will recieve a failing mark due to irrelevance. The writer used an A/D response method in an extent essay.
The reasoning paragraphs further confuse the reader due to a comparative discussion presentation. The provided discussion instruction requires 2 paragraphs in support of the writer's opinion. As the overall response discussion approach is incorrect, the essay cannot be awarded a passing score. |
***"Social networks are damaging our personal relationships. Therefore, people should not spend much of their time on these websites."***
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
We live in an age when many people consider social media as an essential tool. And it is supposed that social apps can ruin our connections in real life. They suggest that we should limit our time on the networks. I somewhat disagree with this idea. Human relationships are improving successfully via social networks.
Firstly, our bond maintains easily on the Internet. Social media help us stay in touch with these people we love over far distances. With the Internet connection and smartphones or laptops, we can talk with our beloved person whatever they are overseas or a thousand yards remote. For example, students are studying abroad can sustain relationships with their parents and friends in their hometown. They may create new relations or friends in a strange foreign country on social websites. What's more, people can figure out and update the latest information of friends whereby the social network. Apparently, with their media account, you may acquire much information about those people within a click.
Next, the benefits of social connection are even explicit during the covid-19 epidemic. Communication through a screen during the quarantine is an excellent and effective method to prevent the spread of the virus. The happiness is shared with a crowd securely. For instance, several weddings were constituted online in the middle of the disease. Rituals were conducted when entire relatives gathered together on the same online network while staying at home. A holy bond was established between individuals and two families in an unconventional way.
On the other hand, excessive using social media may damage personal relationships. Addicted to social media is a popular event in modern society. These people are glued to their phones, ignoring all the life movements. There is a concept called "hikikomori" in Japan. The hikikomori person isolates themself from society. What they do is stay in a room, access the Internet, and never contact their relationship, even their parents. However, it is merely a minority. In addition, narrowing the time using social media is unrealistic. Most adults are using the network as a practical vehicle to support jobs.
In summary, these benefits of social networks seem to outweigh the drawback. Social networking sites have proven to be effective in developing human interactions. | I somewhat disagree with this idea
You cannot partially with an idea, then provide a definite reason with such strong support. The supporting idea should instead refer to the partial disagreement or, in this case, partial agreement instead. The sentence formation should reflect a partial sentiment as well.
Human relationships are improving successfully via social networks.
To create the correct response reason format say: ...are partially successful in improving... That response reflects your partial idea. The problem is, your thesis statement does not align with the provided discussion instruction.
Now, on to the reasoning paragraphs that will cause the essay to fail.
The first 2 reasons are invalid because these discuss methods of relationship bonding. The discussion is all about the amount of time spent on the websites. nobody was disagreeing with the fact that social media improves relationships. It is the amount of time people spend on the silts that they disagree about. This is only properly discussed in the 3rd paragraph. That is the only time related discussion presented.
The relevant paragraph is not properly developed and contradicts itself. These are the reasons why the writer has written a long but failing essay. |
## Coffee & Tea drinking habits in five Australian cities
*The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*
(I attached the image containing the chart)
The bar chart depicts the percentages of residents for various ways of drinking coffee and tea in five Australian cities in 4 weeks.
Overall, citizens preferred drinking at a café the most for all cities except for Adelaide. In addition, fresh coffee was consumed the least, and Hobart recorded the greatest difference between the percentage for buying fresh coffee and the percentage for visiting cafés.
Regarding Sydney, the figures for fresh coffee and instant coffee were around 45%, whereas that for on-site drinking was above 60%. As for Melbourne, the proportions of residents who bought fresh coffee and bought instant coffee were approximately 42% and 48%, respectively. Residents of the city who went to a cafe was roughly 63%, highest of all cities.
On the other hand, the percentage of people who bought fresh coffee in Brisbane was roughly 35%, which is significantly less than the figure for instant coffee drinkers and cafes visitors of the city. About 38% of Hobert citizens purchased fresh coffee in 4 weeks, while the figures for instant coffee and on-site drinking were around 55% and 63%. Meanwhile, Adelaide had 35% of its residents buying coffee in this period, less than half of the percentages for instant coffee, which is similar to the figure for cafes visitors.
*
*chart* | five Australian cities
Yes, there are 5 Australian cities in the chart. Why was no listing for these indicated? The cities were individually listed in the chart, therofere the list must be included to indicate the comparison source points. The summary information is incomplete without it. The trending statement makes little sense without the prior listing.
The overall report is pretty much straight forward and simply delivers the data provided. The comparison point analysis is what was skipped. Next time look for equal lines in the image. Use these to follow the bar graph. This will allow you to see where equal points the such as for people who went to Melbourne and Hobart for coffee during the month. |
## the future of shopping in a mall
Currently, with the development of technology, numerous people tend to go shopping online. Some people believe in the future the main reason to go to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not shopping. However, my view is chosen both the sides that you can both entertaining and shopping.
There are many disadvantages to shopping online. Sometimes you have to wait for delivery for some days and maybe the products are not what you see on the websites. I sometimes returned clothes and other items because the size or color is wrong for me. Many shops at malls supply a wide variety of products from many regions all over Vietnam such as books, electronics, cosmetics, or clothes fashion and you can take them at home without having to wait for some days. In addition, sometimes they might get a special offer and discount and free delivery on holidays like Black Friday.
On the other hand, the shopping centers are an interesting place to with their family and friends. After a busy day, they go to malls, which is good place to strengthen relationships with their family. For instance, people watch 3d cinema, eat at the restaurant, or have appointments at the cafe shop.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that it will become an amazing place for amusement and shopping in the future. However, shopping is the main reason that they want to go shopping malls and it is irreversible. | my view is chosen both the sides
This is an automatic task failing scoll. The discussion should focus on only one side. Either agree or disagree. You cannot pick both sides because this is a single opinion essay. You clearly did not understand the instructions and the examiner will realize this and arand a failing task score regardless of the discussion presentation. You need to review the response styles depending on the provided discussion instruction.
disadvantages
This is not an advantage V. disadvantage essay. It is an agree or disagree approach.This is additional proof that you do not understand the task requirement.
The discussion presentation is all over the place. It is so scattered in focus that the examiner will be confused by the presentation. It does not approach the discussion from the assigned format angle. |
## Who should be responsible for teaching children to be good citizens, parents or school?
There is a spreading belief that children ought to be taught to be socially well-mannered individuals by their parents; however, others hold that children should learn this at school. From my perspective, both are the key factors to their development into model persons, or not. The reasons why I say so will be outlined below.
As regards the role of parents in educating their offspring, it is indispensable. The way parents behave can directly affect the child's behaviour and cognition. If parents treat their children properly, such as paying attention to their kids, being willing to lend a sympathetic ear to their kids' stories,etc., the children will be much better mentally-behaved compared to those not living in such a positive growing environment. For instance, the majority of homeless children or ones having apathetic parents often commit crime because of their lack of care and education from their family. Therefore, that parents deal with their children properly is undisputedly necessary to let them know how to become a good person.
In the meanwhile, we cannot deny the necessity of schooling. Children generally spend from a quarter to a third of their time studying at school. Besides, we all know that the surrounding environment is the biggest contribution to personality formation. That is the reason why school has an enormous impact on the model of a citizen a child will become. If a child has caring and supportive teachers and several healthy relationships, they will have someone to talk to and share their problems with in addition to their parents, and also someone who can protect them from bullying, which is such a commonplace phenomenon in school nowadays. Moreover, school can be considered the best place to broaden children's horizons, especially in academic aspects. The better academic performance the children have, the better job opportunities they will be given. To be a socially well-behaved citizen, one must have both morality and knowledge.
In conclusion, although there are people thinking parents play the main role in making their offspring exemplary citizens, while some others believe in school being the one taking this responsibility, I assume that both are all necessary in their own ways, with priority given to neither of the two views. | both are the key factors
Though both are key factors. the response asks you to choose and defend only one side. Note the use of the word "or" to indicate a single opinion choice. While,the restatement is accurate the lack of a clear opinion based on the choice requirement will be scored down. next time, pick one side to use unless asked to discuss both views and give an opinion.
stories,etc
Etc. is a non- academic word. That is used only in casual writing, not in formal writing .
I assume
clear evidence that you do not have a clear opinion. Hence the positionless discussion. It will be difficult to say if this will be scored in any way as the discussion requirements were not met by the writer. |
## to be single or to be in a relationship?
These days ,there seems to be a tendency for a growing cirlce of young to lead a single life and get cold feet to tie a knot.From my perspective, living alone has both negative impacts and positive ones .This essay will consider these sides and draw some conclusions.
On the one hand, there are some edges attracting the young to lead a unrestricted life.Firstly,it authorizes them to do many things at liberty.For instance, this trend Not only does this trend provide our possibility to pursue career without being driven to distraction by nurturing children or material needs ,it also offers chance to have dating with more partners. On the top of that,such a life can avert domestic violence due to financial burden or lack of close-knit in a family. It is easy to imagine how that mode can improve the quality of life.
On the other hand,we almost express apprehension about how a sole life has negative effects on the young.In the short term,it is likely that we will see a rise in loneliness.For example, a scene that we can visualize is that they find themselves in a room without encouragement but with the stressful, bumming out and even being shaken up. A long-term fear is that it will be challenged if young people are about to be a single-partent.
In conclusions,while leading a single life in the young will no doubt about improving their quality of life in many ways, some drawbacks should not be ignored. Thus,the issues addressed in the essay should be given enough attention. | This essay will consider these sides and draw some conclusions.
You have failed the essay in terms of restatement considerations at this point. The prompt, as you have provided it to me, shows the discussion as only needing a comparison of an advantage and disadvantage. There is no requirement presented for the writer to draw conclusions about the 2 sides.
In conclusions,while leading a single life ... given enough attention.
The conclusion will be another reason for the essay's low score. This time, the same errors in the paraphrasing were made in the summary conclusion.
The comparison paragraphs are well developed and explained. These are supportive of the original discussion requirement. However, the esor in the restatements are what will score down the final mark.The student must make an effort to not alter the discussion rephrasing next time. |
## The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons and impact?
The time that family members spend gathering to have meals is indeed reducing. While it is necessary to identify the possible cause of this trend, it is also essential to predict the effects on children and their health.
There are two primary reasons why nowadays family members tend to not have meals together. Firstly, parents are usually busy with work. Some families need two incomes for financial stability so both fathers and mothers have to spend a large amount of time at work. All the stress accumulated during the working day often makes it difficult to have lunches or dinners at home. For instance, employees usually work 8 to 12 hours a day at the office, so they tend to buy their lunches rather than going back home to ensure their working time. Secondly, in some extended families, members do not get along with each other. Nowadays there are three or even four generations in a house. The age gap is getting bigger between family members, which leads to difficulties relating to each other.
Several negative impacts on children are being witnessed due to this phenomenon. A lack of family meals can make children feel abandoned. Unlike surfing the web or playing computer games, having meals is often a whole-family activity. If parents do not spend enough time taking care of their kids' meals, family bonds will be weakened and children therefore will feel left behind. Moreover, this trend also has a harmful impact on children's health. Family meals were an opportunity to provide a healthy diet for all family members. Without the supervision of parents, children tend to eat junk food, snacks, or other fast food for their lunches or dinners. This will lead to many serious health diseases such as obesity and hyperactivity in the long term.
In conclusion, some reasons can be identified for the decline in shared family meals and the impacts are seriously harmful. | is indeed reducing
There is no need for you to affirm the statement. It is not part of the discussion instruction. You will recieve a deduction due to topic alteration. The willis personal opinion should not be included in a restatement presentation.
While it is necessary ... and their health.
This sentence will not recieve any score as it does not respond to the discussion qquestion and instructions. Restating the instructions is not considered part of the task requirements. However, question responses and a discussion outline is scored as a part of the task.
The age gap is getting bigger
How does this relate to the topic? The connecting example is missing, rendering the paragraph incomplete in tums of discussion requirements.
Your summary conclusion fails to meet the minimum 40 word requirement. 2 sentence presentations are expected. This is another markdown. |
## spending on roads and transport in 4 countries
The chart illustrates the proportion of government's money used for roads and transport in Italy, Portugal, the Uk and the US between 1990 and 2005.
Generally, it is clear that there was a decrease in the percentage of government spending for roads and transport in Portugal over a 4-year period, while the figures in the USA increased.In addition, the amount of nation budget used for roads and transport was generally highest in Portugal, while the UK tend to spent the at least amount over the entire period.
Looking at the bar chart in more detail, the percentage of money spent on roads and transport in Portugal reached the highest point at 27% in the first year of this period, and the figures reduced slowly to 20 % in 2005 .In contrast, the figures in the USA started at just over 10%, after which there was a slight rise from 10% in 1995 to 15% in 2005.
In 1990, the government of Italy allocated 22% for roads and transport, which was more than twice greater than that of the UK and the US, at 10% and 11% respectively. The figures grew to 24% in 2000 before it dropped to 19%. The proportion of expenditure for roads and transport in the UK government stood at 10% in 1990 and hit the lowest point at 7% in the last year of the given period after it fluctuated from 1995 to 2000.
* | The chart illustrates
The examiner will be looking for the specific chart name/ identifier that will differentiate it from the other types. Familiarize yourself with the image types used to help you better meet the task summary requirements.
Please use at least 2 sentences in the summary overview. Seperate the image identifier and short form data from the inclusive year reference. Avoid single sentence presentations that will result in a GRA deduction.
Generally
The data is not a trending statement but a report paragraph. The tend should only report on the highest and lowest points, without any measurement reference.
The writer is prone to compressed data presentations. The reporting paragraphs are difficult to follow due to the run-on presentations. The paragraphs lack clear analysis points because of the improper sentence formats. |
## friends vs teachers impact on students
It is believed that a student's behavior and the result can be influenced by some causes. And I would argue that friends have more effects on them than teachers.
To begin with, getting on well with classmates has a strong positive influence on students. Because of the educational condition, they spend more time with peers than teachers. They just meet the teacher in the restricted period while most of the school time is spent interacting with their friends. For example, just in Math periods, students are able to communicate with Math mentors, but they will meet other students in all periods left. This leads to their behavior can be influenced more effectively by peers because of longer interaction.
On the other hand, the relationship between classmates can create a competitive environment. Students would prefer to express themselves and do their best to excel. They may bury themselves in their books in order to overtake their opponents. As a result, the academic outcomes could be improved. For instance, league tables with scholarships are a good way to create motivation for students to compete with others.
In conclusion, in my opinion, the positive changes on students are mostly referred to their peers than teachers. | The essay is only 202 words long. This would normally be an automatic failing score but since the scoring consideration changes new implemented, TA percentage deductions will apply instead. Regardless, the preliminary deductions applied will cause a failing score. That is, even after scores are awarded for the remaining criteria.
And
Because
These are conjunctions used to connect ideas within a sentence. It can only be used after an idea has been presented. This is the main reason why you cannot use it to start a sentence. The grammar structure becomes incorrect. The sentence structure would have gotten a better score if you had started with "I" instead. |
## lack of social life skills among students
A number of people believed that an increasing number of high students are likely to lack social life skills. I completely agree with this point of view.
The first reason for this is owing to the fact that high schools tend to teach knowledge and orientation but have not cared and focused on training life skills. Students who study in high school, are virtually wanted to study at university. The condition to be able to study at university is that students can overcome an academic test with a high score. Moreover, the entrance to university test involves theoretical knowledge and is unrealistic. Therefore, to meet the students' requirements, high schools focus on teaching how to get a high mark and do have practical skills lessons. As a result, practicing life skills is an action that students are not interested in.
In addition to the reason above, I also believe that family is also a factor leading to the deficiency of life skills. Families are not frequently appreciated educating basic skill life for children due to the fact they think studying is the most vital and social skill is unnecessary. Furthermore, With the habit of taking care of their children in an environment without challenges causes students to lack opportunities to experience, explore, form, and improve life skills.
For example, a recent survey shows that 75% of high school students do not know how to cook a meal by themselves. As a result, high school students are grown up on the contrary they can not live independently and this causes a detrimental impact on their future.
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe there are a number of high schools students who lack a social life. | high students are likely to lack social
This is not orginally stated as an assumption. This is a statement of fact. Do not alter the original point of view as it changes the overall prompt meaning or discussion target.
I completely agree
The thesis statement must be accompanied by the presentation of 2 topic anchors for the reasoning paragraphs. The restatement f opinion presentation is incomplete/ only partly complete.
are virtually wanted to study at university
This is an improperly structured phrase. A more appropriate presentation would be, " want to study at university". Word exaggerations such as "virtually", when improperly referenced causes confusion for the reader.
For example, a recent survey shows that 75% of high school students
The presentation does not connect to either reasons presented. As this is being presented as an example , it must be merged into one of thez discussion points. Right now, it will just lower your score because it is an underdeveloped paragraph presentation.
The conclusion will not recieve a passing score as it is less than 10 words and does not sum up the discussion in the required format. |
## us energy consumption by fuel
The line graph illustrates the amount of quadrillion units energy consumed in the USA with predictations from 1980 to 2030. Overall, while three resources including Petrol and Oil, Coal and Natural Gas dramatically increase, those of other energy witness 5 decades of stability.
Petrol and Oil is the resource that was consumed the highest amount of quadrillion units throughout the timescale and was two times more than Coal and Natural Gas in 1890. In the first 28 years of the timescale, the Petrol and Oil energy underwent a period of instability from 30 to 40 quadrillion units before continuing to rise significantly to 50 quadrillion units in 2030. Similarly, the Natural Gas energy consumed saw a changable stage of 35 years between 1890 and 2015 until being surpassed by Coal at 17 quadrillion units in 1990, after which being predicted to remain stable at 25 quadrillion units for the last time of timescale. Likewise, Coal markedly climbe from 15 to 30 quadrillion units during 5 decades and become the second preferred energy resource after Petrol and Oil.
By contrast, the consumption of Nuclear, Solar/ Wind and Hydropower vary insignificantly from 4 to 6 quadrillion units for all the time of the timescale and became the most unpopular resources. After 50 years, the Petrol and Oil still is preferred than other energy resources and be twice times more than Natural Gas in 2030.
* | predictations
This is not a proper English word. It does not exist in any English dictionary version. Believe me, I checked. The word that does exist, is predictions. I believe that is the word you wanted to use. Do not makeup terms if you do not know what the actual term is. That will result in a double score deduction for you.
Petrol and Oil still is preferred
You cannot use a present tense time reference for 2030. That has yet to happen. The appropriate time reference would be connected to future tense usage.
The writer must improve in 2 scoring aspects, wordusage and grammar range. Both can be improved by -exposure to more and varied English reading materials, sentence, and word choice exercises. |
## bar chart report
The chart provides information on the proportion of three types of businesses access to social media for commerce benefit from 2012 to 2016.
In general, all three kinds of businesses increased through every year, apart from 2015. The greatest usage of social media was a large company, while small businesses comprised the lowest used.
Relating to small and medium companies, the period prolonged from 2012 to 2014 witnessed a climb in social media utilization. To be specific, the small businesses increased marginally, beginning just under 30% little to 35% in 2014. The change is even more pronounced in medium-sized businesses, starting with 30% in 2012, then picked up moderately to approximately 50% after two later years. Both types of businesses suffered a steep reduction in the next year, after that surged up 50% in the final year, more than 20% compared with 2015.
On the contrary, large-sized companies make extensive of social media, with figures nearly always stabilizing in roundly 80% from 2012 to 2016. The sole exception to this was 2015, that the use of social networks saw a plummet by just over 50%. | all three kinds of businesses
Refer to the business types directly as a part of the short form report. You have to do that because a specific business type in the trending reference.
The chart
There are several types of charts for task 1. This is why a general chart reference cannot be used. The specific image type is necessary for task accuracy.
The first analytical paragraph is well executed. it perfectly compares the first 2 businesses. That is, as far as I can tell since you did not upload an image for my reference. I am going to have to take your word for it.
The last paragraph is too brief. The analysis has expansion oom that would have helped further strengthen the analysis to the point of the previous paragraph. |
## The diagram shows how chocolate is produced
The map illustrates the process of producing chocolate.
Overall, it is clear from the map that there are ten steps to make chocolate from cacao trees to liquid chocolate.
In the beginning, cacao trees are grown mostly in South America, Africa, and Indonesia. People plan them until they become ripe red pods. Then, after a period, pods are harvested and taken out white cocoa beans. After that, the beans are fermented and then dried in the sun to get their tans. Brown beans after sunbathing are put in large packages and transported by trains or lorries to factories.
In factories, beans are roasted in the oven at more than 300 degrees. They may smell great after that. In the next step, beans are put in a machine to separate their crushes and outer shells, which are removed. Then people take crushed beans to an inner part machine to press them into liquid form. That is how chocolates are produced | The map illustrates
it is clear from the map
This is an incorrect image reference. A map is not used in this presentation. An illustrative diagram or diagram would be the most appropriate reference. A map refers to a representation, usually on a flat surface, as of the features of an area of the earth or a portion of the heavens, showing them in their respective forms, sizes, and relationships according to some convention of representation. Based on the definition, you can see why markdowns will apply to specific aspects of your score.
plan
Incorrect word usage again. The trees are planted . Not plan. A plan refers to a scheme or method of acting, doing, proceeding, making, etc., developed in advance.
crushes
Crushes? This does not sound right. The procedure indicates that the beans are crushed. This incorrect reference will be marked down for confusing the reader.
Basically, the essay will fail lbased on LR and GRA mistakes that are prevalent in the presentation. |
***Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***
It is considered by some that sharing information related to specific sectors is a good manner while others see that information should be strictly confidential due its worthy and importance. In my view, it depends on the attitude of each individual when deciding to circulate information.
On the one hand, in fields such as science and academic work, it is essential and crucial to spread information in relation to specific topics. This would contribute significantly to scientific researching and education. To be clear, writing research papers is a required work to many students and post-graduates as they would need to referencing and citing many documents for their papers. The more research papers conducted, the better education we receive. The book named Homo Sapiens, for example, is the huge dedication to our science, which clearly explains the origin of human beings from that we attain more knowledge about our history.
On the other hand, many think that some information ought to be kept in secret because of its value. In terms of personal information, it is true that the act of spreading this type of information should be considered. Moreover, for some information which is an important project to many researchers using their knowledge and spending long time completing. That kind of information should be paid to access, which is a reward for authors' diligent work. For instance, many e-books published by Springer are required to be paid out in case the users want to read.
Finally, in my opinion, whether sharing information publicly or keeping it in confidence, depends on the attitudes of the possessor. To be specific, many research papers can be found on the internet on a wide scale covering various topics. It shows that those owners or authors have no problems with uploading their works on public community and somewhat this action might support many people in relation to finding documents for their papers. Moreover, some are even ready to share private things online without any hesitations; in contrast, a handle of people would feel that some information needs to be off the record.
To conclude, sharing information helps to develop several areas in our life, but it still a sensitive issue since the viewpoint of each person may vary when sharing their documents. | specific sectors
This makes the original topic vague in your restatement. Such a general reference will be marked as an inaccurate representation as synonyms, as relevant to the LR and GRA scores were not used.
On the one hand
This comes across more as a personal opinion than a general discussion Remember to use third person pronouns next time to meet the response format guidelines.
many think
This is an example of a uniquely worded third person reference. Good job. It clearly indicates this is not your opinion but rather, a public one.
Finally
This is more of a conclusion paragraph reference. It would be better if you do not use it as a personal opinion starter. Simply say" my opinion" or a variation thereof to start it. |
## **The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.**
The two maps illustrate the design of a university's sports centre and its transformation proposal. Overall, the complex is planned to undergo significant changes regarding the size and recreational facilities.
At present, there is a large building in the middle, which is flanked by two outdoor courts. Inside the building, there is a reception facing the main entrance. The heart of this structure is a 25m pool, bordered by a changing room to the west, a gym to the north and some seats to the east.
The future plans show no changes to the existing facilities, apart from the widening of the gym to the east side. However, the two rectangle courts are bound to be replaced by other amenities. While a large leisure pool will be constructed on the original site of the western court, the emergence of a new sports hall and two dance studios will take place on the eastern end. Two additional fitting rooms, which adjoin a café and a small shop, will be placed on either side of the entrance.
* | The future plans show no changes to the existing facilities
When you indicate a change in the gym size, a change is made to the existing facility. The statement should therefore indicate a minimal change to the orginal rather than no changes. There will always be a degree of change in the comparative images. Nothing will remain unchanged. This is standard for all Task 1 comparative images. Focus on finding and comparing the changes no matter how minimal.
The analysis is pretty much on point but too summarized for the second paragraph. Try to balance the report sections with at least 3 sentences each. Since the gym is to be changed in shape and size, it should be a highlighted sentence in the paragraph. |
## the advantages AND disadvantages of playing games
There is no doubt technology plays an indispensable part in our life. The development of technology leads to the appearance of online games which contributes to changes in life. Whether games will do you good or not remains a controversy. Although games bring so many benefits, in my perspective, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages
On the one hand, games teach you a lesson about life. To begin with, games practice your concentration which helps you apply to your study and work to set plans, focus mind on small objectives to reach the ultimate goal. In addition, games are beneficial for learning some social skills What's more, when it comes to playing games, persistence is always put into account. if you fail, you have to learn not to dwell on your failure and look on the bright side
On the other hand, parents tend to object to children's playing games due to various reasons. Firstly, overusing games does harm to children's health. It stands to reason that if kids put too much time into games, they will lead a sedentary lifestyle and be prone to catching diseases, Secondly, games draw people to the distraction of reality. To be more specific, players are obsessive with winning that they waste time immersing themselves in games. Last but not least, according to scientists, the wave of crime is partly attributed to game addiction. It is undeniable that adolescents may resort to violence in reality if they are affected by games and become out of control.
To sum up, games make considerable changes to our life but in my opinion, the advantages are overshadowed by disadvantages | The writer must remember that there are a number of reference options to the word game. The word could refer to board games, street games, intellectual gamest, to name but a few types. That is why, for clarity purposes, he must attach an identifier to the word game. Refer to it as video, cyber, virtual, or digital These are some alternative identifiers for the video game reference in the ouginal. Such varied references will help the vocabulary score of the writer.
disadvantages outweigh the advantages
This perfectly sums up the writers opinion. Then, the reasoning problem presents itself.
On the one hand, games teach you a lesson about life.
On the other hand, parents tend to object to children's playing games due to various reasons.
These are the problem reasons with the essay. It creates a dual supporting discussion where a single supporting discussion is needed. Do not defend both sides. Use 2 reasons to convince the examiner that your opinion is the only correct one. This essay has failed to do that. It also lacks punctuation marks in a few sentences. |
## children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age
It is crucial that children be exposed to the difference between right and wrong at a very young age. Commonly, punishment is strongly believed to be the best way to help them distinguish this difference. I agree that punishment and discipline are essential in instructing children about right and wrong, besides, we need more care, more supportive words, and actions but not only severe punishments. Therefore, the most effective type of punishment should parents and teachers apply in teaching good behaviors to children is to make them responsible for whatsoever their mistakes.
Firstly, punishment is necessary because it brings fearfulness. Accordingly, if children take incorrect actions in doing something and they are punished directly, 90% of them might not go that wrong direction again. In this way, children can not only learn about how wrong actions shape, and what are the right decisions to make. Secondly, punishment means implementing discipline and discipline brings perfection in children's behaviors. Nevertheless, care and support are more important than solely drastic punishment. That said the more parents take their children into careful consideration, the less generation gap and the more good characters they have.
For these reasons, personally, I affirm that the most valid sort of punishment is for children to take responsibility for their actions. At home, if children have bad behaviors, parents should teach them about regrets, apologies, and compensation. For instance, if a child breaks a cup because they detest decorations, firstly, parents should ask him about how terrible his action is and require them a sincere apology. Next, this child should clean that tangle and make commitments about better behaviors in a similar situation. At school, teachers should do the same thing when their students make any minor or major mistakes. In this way, children can have a deeper understanding of the distinction between bad and good behaviors.
In conclusion, although punishment plays an important role in teaching children about rights and wrongs, parents' attention is another inevitable aspect in accomplishing this journey. By the way, there are many types of punishment but it seems to me that the most productive one is taking-responsibility discipline. | I agree that punishment
To what extent? Never provide the reason for your opinion without the appropriate response format. The correct response format comes before the reason.
make them responsible
How can the parents and teachers do this? The question was "What sort of punishment." Provide the example focus a part of the response for discussion outline clarity.
The reasoning paragraph as to why you agree with punishment is well thought out and developed. However, the same cannot be said for the type of punishment paragraph. It contradicts your agreement with punishment as a way of disciplining a child.
You said that a way of making a child disciplined is by making them take responsibility for their actions. That is not a punishment but it is a form of discipline. A punishment is: a penalty inflicted for an offense, fault. Your presentation does not inflict a penalty but rather explains the offense to the child. A punishment would be:
no cellphone for a month
No Netflix for 6 mos.
No videogames for a week
No dessert after a meal
Spanking
A time- out
or something similar. These would have been better punishment methods to support your " responsibility lesson. It would show that doing the wrong thing has repercussions. |
## the Art field on the government's budget
Opinion is divided on whether creators in the art field should rely on the government's budget or seek private support to develop. I will look at the reasoning of both camps before presenting why I believe that financial support from all these sources are of vital importance.
On the one hand, people who side with the government financial aid have their own arguments. More specifically, not only contributing to the development of the economy through hosting international art galleries, transmitting traditions to other countries, or becoming an integral part of the advertising industry, arts also play an important role in educating history and culture for many people. Hence, it is apparent that the government should shoulder responsibility for creative art work, which can bring many positive effects in flourishing the economy, health and status worldwide in the long run. Versa, support from the government is more affirmed, which can lay a solid foundation for artist's work, leading to compromised and sustainable artistic missions.
On the other hand, it is understandable why many think art work should be funded by multiple funding streams. Firstly, by diversifying sources of support and income, creative artists can be more independent and flexible in what they do. In other words, relying heavily on a certain source can limit the projects and momentum. Secondly, in fact, an official state has more problems which are
In conclusion, I want to reiterate that creative artists should seek for and receive financial support from both the government and other sources, which are beneficial in different ways. | I will look at the reasoning of both camps
There is no need to repeat the discussion instructions. This was already established in the prompt restatement. Only your personal opinion presentation is needed at this point. This should be a 2 sentence direct representation of the original. However, this presentation is still acceptable and will be awarded points. It is good enough, but could have been better. # Median score
Versa
This word does not exist in the English language. Perhaps you meant to say "Vice-versa" meaning in reverse order from the way something has been stated; the other way around ? Regardless, the first word does not exist and the word suggestion would have been an improperly used word. Score markdown #1.
Secondly, in fact, an official state has more problems which are
What? The presentation is incomplete. There is no logic or coherence present. Score markdown #2.
Where is the personal opinion paragraph? The 3rd reasoning presentation. That cannot be used as a concluding statement. Score markdown #3.
There is no closing paragraph. The writer will lose more points. There are severe deductions that will adversely affect the score. |
IELTS WRITING TASK 2
## Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need
***Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.***
The world has been far developing to such an extent that the role of "advertising" is supposed to change. Some people hold firm to their belief that ads lead people to make unnecessary purchases; whilst, opponents argue that they introduce new products to customers. From my perspective, although the first idea is true to some extent, the second seems much more reasonable.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that customers' driving force to buy unneeded items is a result of advertising. Firstly, the demand for a more convenient life has recently increased. Once brands have already recognised this, they will introduce new products qualified enough to meet buyers' basic needs. Hence, people will build a habit of purchasing a larger number of goods. Additionally, it is wise marketing strategies that also encourage people to buy more than what they want. Acknowledging their customers' tendencies, brands will apply a lot of approaches to direct their customers. For instance, Shopee becomes well-known among online purchasers for its celebrity endorsement and flash sale campaigns.
On the other hand, that advertisements are of great benefits to people's lives is without question. Obviously, customers cannot only be well-provided with more information about products but may also raise their awareness about social issues sometimes included in brands' advertising campaigns. Take Pepsi's 2016 video, which contains both their drinks and current political problems in the USA, as a prime example. Furthermore, the more frequently ads are shown to the public, the better varieties of products are available to customers. As a result, they will have more choices of goods; therefore, making better decisions of what to buy, which will gradually improve their living standards.
In conclusion, despite unnecessary purchases encouraged by advertisements, they undoubtedly do great wonders to us. Hence, it is imperative that we become discerning customers in order to gain best benefits from advertising instead of being manipulated. | The writer has not even made an effort to understand the discussion topics as these relate to the prompt question. Hence, he failed to provide an appropriate prompt restatement and opinion response. What happened was he created his own topic and discussion method based solely on a poor understanding of the prompt topic. The discussion instruction was not considered at all. The question was, "which viewpoint do you agree with?". A clear single opinion essay based on a clear opinion choice.
His interpretation response was,
although the first idea is true to some extent, the second seems much more reasonable.
A response that is reserved only for extent essays. Therefore, the prompt deviation that will result in an unrelated response is clear to the examiner. The task accuracy score will be failing.
The student will not pass the test due to the incorrect response presentation, regardless of the minor scores that will be awarded to other sections. The score will not be zero, but it won't be passing either.
Honestly, the writer's English comprehension skills need to be properly developed. At this point that most important scoring aspect is his biggest problem. Rather than Task 2 essays, he should write about general essay topics until his understanding skills improve. Only after that should he even try to with task 2 essays. Learn to understand and write as per English instructions first. |
## was life better when technology was simpler?
In the digital age, technology is more prevalent and has become one indispensable part of our life. However, there is still a school of thought that it will be better regardless of modern technology. While this may be true to some extent, I am leaning towards the far-fetching benefits of leveraging technology advancements.
It is irrefutable that the permeating of technology lead to social isolation. Nowadays, the young generations are more inclined towards advanced technology due to its fundamental facilities like surfing, doing chit-chat via social platforms. Hence the severe outcomes are the heavy reliance on it and refraining from social communications. However, this thinking is flawed. Thanks to technological innovations, we could work remotely and maintain the business operations in the pandemic outbreak of Covid 19 when most countries have to implement the strict lockdown.
In addition, another profound merit is that technological breakthroughs have revolutionized the way humans work. Recently, cutting-edge technology is utilized in the daunting tasks that previously required a copious amount of time, labor, and resources. For example, a shoe manufactory needs ten workers to produce 100 hand-craft shoes a day, but now only a particular machine could upgrade its productivity more than twice. This shift generates significant savings in labor costs and contributes to the unprecedented increase in the net profits for the operations.
In conclusion, the superior advantage of technological invention outweighs its drawbacks. I perceive that we should take advantage of it to foster the development of our society in the foreseeable future. | While this may be true to some extent, I am leaning towards the far-fetching benefits of leveraging technology advancements.
The discussion question is, "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" not, "Is the statement somewhat true and why?" The response you have provided may seem to align with the prompt question but, it actually does not. You have to first, respond to the prompt based on the prescribed format (extent) and second, provide the reason for your opinion (thesis statement). What you provided regarding the far reaching benefits would have been the perfect discussion reason to support the opinion response in a proper format.
The reasoning paragraphs are focused on technological use in terms of the workplace and manufacturing. The discussion was supposed to be directed towards the lifestyle of people. The reasoning was not really on point but will receive scoring marks just the same because it has a bit of relevance to the discussion. The conclusion was a prompt deviation as it suddenly referred to benefits and advantages and disadvantages, which were not part of the original prompt presentation. This is basically, an essay that does not meet the passing score requirements for a task 2 essay |
***It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.***
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is a common belief that everyone can be good at playing sport or music. However, I firmly consider that everyone has his or her talent in a different thing. Therefore, sport and music may not be suitable for everyone to learn.
On top of being distinguished, people believe a man can do anything nowadays. It usually happens in eastern culture. In eastern culture, people believe hard-working makes children achieve every goal. Thus, people consider children aren't working hard enough if they get to fail. Even though the subjects they fail are sport or music need the talent to learn, they still let children keep practicing. For instance, there is a saying that "Practice makes perfect.", which shows the aspect of these people. However, this point of view may cause children under pressure. Some of them lose their self-confidence, while others might hate the sport or music in the future.
On the other hand, people suggest that every child has his or her talent, which is often seen in western culture. They believe that talent is a gift from god. Therefore, people should focus on their talent. For instance, if children have talent in sport or music, they will be encouraged to improve their skills. This not only makes them do better in sport or music but also lets them get more interest in them. It's beneficial to children, while they might choose to be musicians or good sports players in the future.
To sum up, though it is important to practice a lot on something children aren't good at, in my viewpoint, they should follow their talents. | It is a common belief that everyone can be good at playing sport or music
This is a clear misrepresentation and misunderstanding of the prompt. The belief is that it is wither an inborn or developed talent. Neither discussion has been correctly restated in this presentation. It is a failed interpretation of the topic and reasoning presentation. Markdown #1.
I firmly consider that everyone has his or her talent in a different thing. Therefore, sport and music may not be suitable for everyone to learn.
Unsuitable opinion response due to a mistaken understanding of the original topic. It is nota discussion about talent suitability but rather how one acquires the talent. Markdown #2.
While the task interpretation is incorrect, the reasoning discussions are applicable to the original concept. This leads me to wonder how the restatement aspect happened to be incorrect? The 2 discussion paragraphs are well developed on the public opinion front. Well developed and explained. The problem, is the lack of personal opinion development. Missing from this essay is the personal opinion paragraph. Markdown # 3.
The concluding paragraph fails to meet the 40 word, 2 sentence minimum requirement. Markdown #4.
The essay might recieve a very low passing score due to the significant errors presented. Incorrect interpretations and missing paragraphs are its main issues. |
## The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London
The line chart illustrates the number of people who usually travel by underground station in London from 6.00 to 22.00 per day.
Overall, the time when the largest passengers use the underground station is 8.00, while 2 hours before having the least people work by underground station. Moreover, the data of travelers is a considerable fluctuation between 6.00 and 22.00.
To be specific, from 6.00 to 10.00, there is a slight fluctuation from 100 to 180 people. Moreover, at 8.00, people who commute by underground stations are the most crowded, at 400 people. Similarly, the figures of passengers experienced a gradual growth between 180 and 300 in 4 hours later.
However, the number of travelers has a dramatic decline from about 14.00 to 16.00, around 200 people. By contrast, people who work by the underground station at 8.00 a.m become more than 2 hours before, at 380 people. Nevertheless, 4 hours later, the rate of passengers witnessed a significant fluctuation from 380 to 140 people.
* | The writer has done his best to create an understandable report based on the chart presented. Information is accurate for the most part. However, the sentence structures are more often than not, difficult to understand. The problem lies in the inaccurate grammar use of the presentation. The writer tends to deliver the explanations in confusing manners. This is because he lacks the ability to control the way he develops his thought process. There is a disconnection between the thinking in English and writing in English process. The writer should engage in more sentence development exercises. He has the potential to score well. Right now, his errors affect the C + C and GRA sections in a negative way. Keep practicing. You will eventually overcome the current writing problem. |
## History vs Science and Technology
Education is an all-important factor in society that is technology-based and automatic-mediated. It leads to the controversy that whether History or Science and Technology be emphasized. This essay will examine both sides of the issue and provide an overall opinion.
First of all, there is a variety of reasons why individuals believe that studying historical events is important. Perhaps the main reason is that history fosters traditional moral values among young people by the inspire spring from older generation's acutely and values in the battles. In addition, that is the premise for them to learn from the past, while children would realize past mistakes and to build their future lives more success. It will upgrade their attitudes and behavior regarding the nation.
On the other hand, the majority of the population put their faith in science and technology which have become the most important and valuable subjects in today's society, is plausible. Technology is an arch factor for the development of all areas of society nowadays. Accessing regularly could provide foundation knowledge that helps students to adapt to technological development. For example, if students study Engineering at school, they may understand how electronic gadgets work. Furthermore, in contrast to History which learns about events happened in the past, Science and Technology explore multidimensional society and deep-wise. By those things in their school time period, It will help them to develop their creating abilities, expanding their knowledge in different fields, making their upcoming achievement more successfully.
In conclusion, having considered both sides of the issue, I would argue that subjects like Science and Technology are integral to modern life. If the government introduces an appropriate curriculum, students can apply the lessons to make innovations in these fields; therefore, the quality of people's lives will increase. | provide an overall opinion.
This is an incorrect reference. The overall opinion will be coming from you, as the writer. Reference yourself as the source of the final opinion next time.That way, the discussion flow will be clearer to the reader.
Perhaps
No. Words that do not offer a solid discussion opinion will score down the essay. Additionally, you are discussing based on your personal , rather than presenting a comparative public opinion presentation. Score markdown # 1 and 2.
In conclusion
I would argue
This essay does not have a proper summary conclusion. When you refer to a conclusion, you must not include a personal opinion. That is because the concluding paragraph does not allow for a continued discussion presentation. That will never pass for a properly formatted closing statement. Score markdown #3. |
## Fast Food taxation
Over recent years, no issue has drawn as much attention as the debate surrounding Fast Food taxes. Some people hold a point of view that imposing an excise taxes on this type of food could contribute to curb the rising rate of diseases. However, to my best knowledge, this solution does not bring realistic effect as much as it's initially expected.
On the one hand, it is argued by some that the heavily governmental taxation on junk food would be associated with a noticeable reduction the excessive consumption. The crucial reason here, with such raising tariffs that the giant food corporation would shift the tax burden on consumers by raising the price, thereby putting purchasers' choice of junk food into consideration and ameliorating public health. For example, Hungary has succeeded with its tax assessment which was implemented in 2011, after 4 years, more than 59 percent of consumers had lowered their consumption of offending fast food products, according to a study conducted by the World Health Organization (WHO). As a result, the government has more of a source of income generation in order to add funding for issues of immediate concerns such as medical complaints, education...
On the other hand, a heavy price could be paid if the government raise the FF tax. Firstly, imposing a high excise on fast food is likely not to remarkably implicate on the eating choices of affluent consumers, even places a financial burden on the low-income, on whom are mainly relying because of owing to its affordability. That means disadvantaged people have insufficient funds to satisfy their hunger and cut back for some basic needs like education and accommodation. consequently, a harder life could be perceived.
In conclusion, the advantages of fast food are deniable. However, all of the countries over the world need a more practical methodology to protect public health in the current era of business-friendly government policy. | excise taxes
Taxes should be in singular form (tax) since there is only one type being considered.
this solution does not bring
Before the discussion reason, respond to the question first. Responding to the question is a primary scoring consideration, regardless of the reasoning presentation. Without the direct answer, the response presentation is incomplete.
The discussion format used is not the correct one. Note that you were asked to give a singular direct response to the question. The examiner will assess your ability to follow discussion instructions and properly defend your opinion over 2 paragraphs. It is a singular opinion presentation, not a comparative consideration. So, based on this 4 paragraph presentation, the reviewer will only score 3 out of 4 paragraphs, thereby lessening the chances for a higher scoring presentation. If a paragraph does not support your opinion, it will not be part of the shared scoring credits. |
## should ancient buildings be retained or replaced by the modern architecture
Various ancient constructions playing a crucial role as a country's history are under the protection of the law. Some suggest that there should be new buildings replacing over these old ones. In my personal opinion, I totally disagree with this idea for several reasons.
First of all, the ancient buildings are the historical and cultural representation of a country's identity, on which serious conservation should be implemented. It can be easily visualized that if all countries are modernized with full of the state-of-the-art buildings and high-rises, the culture of these countries will be gradually faded. Take Japan as an example, they are successful in maintaining numerous old buildings, leaving an unforgettable impression when people think of Japan's culture.
Furthermore, the ancient buildings can be financially beneficial to the economy of a country. In details, as tourism industry is booming, travelers commence to explore the landscapes and culture from other countries and many have interest in the historic relics and monuments. Consequently, the one-of-a-kind ancient constructions become the appealing destinations and bring a huge revenue to the GDP of that country. For instance, in Vietnam, Hoi An ancient town and Hue citadel are among the most visited spots, where thousands of visitors have set foot on and spent handsomely on their trips every year.
By contrast, it is sometimes thought that by replacing the old constructions by the new buildings will make a country look more developed, so that more investment will be drawn. However, I believe that there should be a balance between modernization and traditional values.
To conclude, the ancient buildings should be retained due to their economical benefits and the essence of the country's image. | In my personal opinion, I totally disagree with this idea for several reasons.
Your ersonal opinion is not a required part of this discussion and should not be part of the restatement. The only requirement of this discussion is for you, as the writer, to discuss the two points of view. Your opinion should not be presented as an influencing factor of the discussion. Do not present an opinion when not asked to do so. This will result in a prompt alteration that will lower your accuracy score.
You have altered the discussion format from a general comparative presentation to a personal opinion consideration. You have not followed the response format from the very start. J am not confident that this will be a passing score presentation because of the altered task presentation |
**Exam question**:
***In the modern society, children are less reliant on their parents to learn about the surrounding world compared to families in the past.***
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?
***Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.***
Many people believe that modern society makes children dependent on their parents to learn about the world around them. Some think that children always need to depend on adults. I believe that children are less reliant on their parents to learn about the surrounding world compared to families in the past.
Nowadays, children are always exposed to new things at a very young age. It is ordinary for a child about five years old to know how to use the internet to watch movies or play games. Knowing how to use the internet makes them less reliant on their parents to study and learn things all around the world. Most children nowadays are self-taught. When they don't understand a lesson, they rarely ask their teachers or parents, but they use the internet to find out.
Because society is developing more and more, parents always have to work around the clock to make life better, which made parents have less time to teach their children. That is also the reason why children become more independent in their life. They can do simple household chores like cooking, doing laundry, or cleaning the house.
In the past, because there were no electronic devices or the internet like now. So it is very difficult for children to have access to things around the world. That makes them always dependent on their parents in learning and understanding many things around them.
To sum up, I believe that the development of society has made children more and more independent. They can live freely however they want without being a constraint. | Many people believe that modern society makes children dependent on their parents
Incorrect topic restatement. The orginal point was that children are less reliant on their parents to learn about the world these days. Score markdown # 1.
I believe that children are less reliant on their parent
Incorrect opinion response. While the belief is an acceptable discussion foundation, it was not formatted as an extent response. Score markdown # 2.
They can do simple household chore
The example is incomplete in terms of discussion development. A few sentences about how children learn to do chores through other channels would have better supported this paragraph. Midline score basis.
In the past,
This is an unnecessary and unrelated paragraph as it changes the required discussion aspect. Score markdown # 3.
To sum up
The conclusion lacks the original topic presentation, writer's reasoning, and proper closing sentence. All of these should have been presented starting at a minimum of 40 words. Score markdown # 4. |
## **Companies use different way to increase sales.**
*What different ways do companies use to increase sales? What is the most effective one?*
With the development of global commerce, enterprises, nowadays, are using a variety of methods of boosting their sales, depending on their strategies, budgets, and targeted customers. No matter what sale strategies each company are applying, they are aiming at the similar target, for the increase in revenues.
Corporate's owners can apply numerous increasing - sales strategies after analyzing thoroughly their strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. For small and medium companies, their budgets may be limited and have to be allocated economically to lots of departments. In these cases, they tend to choose sales solutions which do not cost too much money. Online companies, for example, opt for marketing campaigns on social networks or third party's platform to boost their sales in lieu of marketing on media, which often charges bunches of money for each advertising minute. For large corporates whose budgets are sufficient for launching long term sales promotions, they will approach targeted customers by diversified methods, such as advertising on televisions, setting up signboards, or co - operating with key opinion leaders. Some luxury and exclusive brands, though possess themselves huge financial resources, choose to not advertise in common ways, but their sales always rise significantly because of their insightful knowledge about customers. Lamborghini, for example, does not spend any money on broadcasting their products on communications and media, yet this brand still become one of the hugest auto producers by virtue of their quality and rare products.
There exists no clear answer for which sales method is the most effective because of the difference amongst companies' aims and their customers' characteristics. If one company targets to become the lead in retail market, discount campaigns will work to some extent. On the other hand, If another company aims to increase sales by exclusive products, it will hardly choose to cut down the prices.
To conclude, enterprises have many options to boosting their earnings. However, which option is the most suitable depends on companies' orientation and resources. | The student takes on the prompt restatement in a very complex manner. Not to say that it is not effective but, it takes too long toget to the point. The task 2 essay scores better when the discussion is dealt with in a duect, conversational tone.This is not a vocabulary exercise. It isa test of comprehension and logic in the English language. The opinion statement is also a problem as it does not respond to the given questions. Instead, it alters the prompt discussion focus. This makes the restatement + opinion unrelated to the orginal discussion. It is a failure.
Topic Question Guide: What different ways do companies use to increase sales? What is the most effective one?
Response: No matter what sale strategies each company are applying, they are aiming at the similar target, for the increase in revenues.
The discussion just goes downhill to a failing score from therear the writer continued to disregard the discussion questions. The writer shows an inability to follow instructions and respond clearly to the instructions by choosing one most effective marketing method. Though the writer sees the response as correct, it is actually an incorrect discussion deviation. |
## the number of tourists and their spendings
Overall, there were big gaps in two mentioned categories. Tourists' expenditure in 5 countries increased after 1 year, which is no not the case in the number of tourists at the same time.
It can be easily witnessed that Italy had the lowest number of tourists in both 2 years, less than 50 million, nearly a half of France's one. The USA came second in this category with nearly 70 millions tourists. Spain and China shared the same figure, at 57 million travellers in 2012. During 2 examined years, only China's number was recorded to fall, contrast to 4 other countries, whose increases were less than 3 million.
Turning to tourists' spending, it was the USA that took the highest, at more than $100 million, nearly three times compared to Italy, whose number was around $40 million in 2 years. French and Spanish tourists' expenditures were quite similar, at around $55 million dollars. China came the least in this list, with $50 million dollars from tourists. All of these countries experienced a rise in traveller's spending, the highest of which is nearly $13 million from the USA.
* | Overall, there were big gaps in two mentioned categories.
This essay will automatically fail. The required and most important paragraph, the summary overview, is missing from the presentation. It went directly to the trending statement. So the essay is incomplete as the presentation development as required was not met. Only a partial, non-passing score can be applied to the topic accuracy/interpretation.
The overall analysis also tends to be incomplete and insufficiently analyzed. There is clear evidence that the writer did not take the time to study, assess, and analyze the data in a manner expected of a Task 1 essay. It will not pass the test.
It is unfortunate that the writer thinks he has the ability to review and advice other students here as if he knows what he is talking about, when he fails to spot and correct errors in his own work. Don't give advice since you will most likely lead other students here to fail their own tests. Give advice only if you do not need any one else's advice anymore. |
***Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries.***
## Why is this case? Is it a positive development?
Nowadays, investment in tourism industries plays as a vital role in some developing countries. Although it has own reasons, I think that there are many effects both positive and negative.
It is considered to have following causes of pouring money to tourism general. First, local potentials are exploited therefore people have their job opportunities and the unemployment rate would decrease. Moreover, native residents could also communicate, get together with foreigners without oversea. By the way, it broaden knowledge people do not have conditions to go abroad. Second, this investment is a primary intention of government. They want to open and enhance international relations by tourism, which could show their cultures, valuable resources in order to get attention on other countries investors. These strategies lead to the developing countries' economic grow advance by co-operation.
However, if government overexpand their tourism industries, local nature and resources might be drained. Due to many tourists' unawareness of protect environment, it may result in the bad pollution in developing countries. For instance, in Viet Nam, many beautiful beaches are vulnerable by tourists. Furthermore, this investment is also harmful to local resources, which are overexploitation in order to build entertainment centers, resorts. As long as these man-made constructions increases, the beauty of nature would disappear. Equally issues, developing countries' economic depends on tourism so some other industries could do not improve enough. Overall, in my opinion, there are many drawbacks of pouring money to this business, besides its main purposes.
In conclusion, tourism is still a integral industry to invest by developing countries. I think it has own positive effects but government should not pay attention only it and fix its problems. | The discussion approach does not meet the prompt requirements. The discussion restatement is unrelated to the orginal topic:
Original: Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries.
Restatement: ...investment in tourism industries plays as a vital role in some developing countries.
The orginal is about tourism expansion. The writer misinterpreted the focus the relevance of tourism investment. This is an automatic failing paragraph as it does not reflect any aspect of the original topic. The writer also does not produce a clear opinion based on the single point of view requirement. The essay has already failed a major part of the test at this point. It is highly possible that the writer cannot garner enough passing scores in the remaining sections to pass the test. |
***Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well.
What problems will your country face in the next ten years?
## How can these problems be overcome*?**
The world is changing rapidly as never before in the history of humanity. Each and every country experience difficulties due to this speedy progress nowadays. In this essay I would like to highlight the toughest challenges for Russia and offer my ways out of them.
The first and foremost is urbanization. Less and less people want to settle down in small rural towns, mostly due to the absence of career perspectives. Consequently, big cities are growing non-stop and will continue to do so in the next 10 years. Megapolises in Russia need to be modified and even rebuilded in some cases. Currently the capacity of the roads is insufficient for the continiously growing population. This leads to traffic jams, longer commuting time for inhabitants, increased emmision of toxic gases into the atmoshpere. What should be done is the urgent building of new roads to unload the excisting ones. This task can only be accomplished by the government.
The second big thing in Russia today is education. It is painfully apparent that modern curriculums of schools and universities are completely outdated. The faster we review what and how do we teach our kids, the better future they will have. The modern circumstances require from the person not only to know as much as possible, but to able to combine and create as well as switch easily between various activities. This is what Russian educational institutions do not teach, and it must be fixed urgently. Ministry of education should develop new standarts in order to give that kind of knowledge which will be useful in 10 years from now.
To recapitulate, I see that it is the government which can update my country and make its population more competitive on the labour market and satisfied with the quality of life. Russia needs drastic changes in many spheres and there is not much what a single person can do. | In this essay I would like to highlight the toughest challenges for Russia and offer my ways out of them.
Try to give direct responses to these questions as these will be the scoring basis for your opinion score. Where a yes or no question does not exist in the original instructions, direct topic responses are required in in place. Not directly answering lowers your task score.
The first and foremost is urbanization.
You forgot to insect the keyword "problem" as it relates to the topic sentence focus. The reader needs to know hour this is connected and relevant to the discussion.
rebuilded
Vocabulary error. Either rebuild or rebuilt would have been the proper keyword, depending on the sentence structure.
big thing
It is not a big thing but a predicament or dilemma. Word replacements for "problem".
There is no summary conclusion in the presentation. The last paragraph opened a new discussion like instead. Open ended essay presentations normally recieve a negative score. |
***School should not force children to learn a foreign language.***
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, due to the tendency of international integration, students are obliged to study overseas languages in most schools. Therefore, that matter was debated for its indispensability. However, I believe that studying a novel language is a judicious determination but based on the willingness of each person.
To begin with, a second language brings tremendous accomplishment to the apprenticeship. Essentially, the understanding through the period of studying that could break down the communication barrier. Indeed, people who have a basic knowledge of learning English that they can easily make friend with each other who come from various countries in the world. To explain it, the bilingual widen their friend's circle by talking in the most comfortable and "native way". Furthermore, the language exists a close relationship with the culture such as the way how to communicate, understand international art and literature, religion, cuisine, technical references, inferences, plays on words, and fashion that lead to expanding the culture of the mind. For example, the Japanese language has the word "komorebi," which means a phenomenon when sunlight is filtered through the leaves. So, with this word, a learner will get a Japanese approach to nature and beauty. Finally, according to the development of multiple multinationals, it is clear that the language certificates which is requisite necessary for enhancing the chance to apply for a job or get a high-paying job and take over a higher position.
From another point of view, besides the benefits of studying a second language provides to whom to learn it, foreign language study is a millstone around student's neck since it is regarded as mandatory. This is caused by some reasons, some children do not seem to have natural abilities to learn a language that means they need to double times or more than that to catch up with the speed of the lecture. It takes too much time to study another language which is not property to their particularities of work in the future. For instance, these works: Structural engineer, Construction engineer, Electrical engineer that doesn't require an in-depth knowledge of the foreign language but in order to function they learn academic vocabulary simply. Consequently, the student who has crammed up a superfluous language which makes them are under a lot of pressure due to overload schoolwork and other necessary activities. It is no doubt that the rate of problem mental health and physical health among students has increased which leads to lessening effectiveness in the learning process.
In conclusion, even though overseas languages are the ingredients to personal growth, children are still required to be optional instead of forcing them to study by the school because of their health.
Thanks for your comment! | The prompt paraphrase is nowhere near the original discussion topic. The issue is whether students should be pressured or forced to learn a foreign language in school. It is not debating if foreign languages should be studied, which is what your paraphrase implies. There is also the incorrect discussion response being provided. There is no direct answer to the "extent" even as a discussion reason was provided. Answer the question frist then give the reason for it. Presenting your response otherwise will result in a failing task score based on a non-connected or irrelevant response.
A strong focus on vocabulary has made the essay difficult to understand. Rather than having the required everyday conversational tone, the paper has a confusing academic tone to it. The confusion stems from the misuse of advanced English words in the presentation. The focus of the reader goes from the topic to word meaning instead. This distraction is a GRA failure based on undue reader stress. |
## **In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing.**
*Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.*
Nowadays, it is increasingly common for people to reach over the age of 70, which was once rare hundreds of years ago. With longer life expectancy, the old are able to live their lives to the fullest. However, many problems have been introduced with this trend, and it is necessary to address them with great care for the sake of a balanced society.
On the bright sight, greater longevity helps everyone enjoy all the economic and technological development without the fear of passing away soon. Knowing that he/she would be able to reach pass the age of 70 or even 80 and have time for him/herself, a person could feel less stressful about the busy life that he/she is currently experiencing. This may ultimately lead to a happier society. Moreover, the aged population may become a valuable asset to the community as a whole. They could pass on all their treasured experience to the young, or they could even become a special workforce that helps in everyday life. For example, essential jobs such as taxi drivers and cleaners can be easily taken over by the older generation.
Having said that, it is extremely important to look at the downsides of having a growing aged population. First, since old people are more prone to serious illnesses, they would put a great strain on the health care system. That means more funding needs to be raised just for them, and possibly leading to a lack of necessary investment in other key sectors like education and national defense. Besides, younger people also have to put a lot of time into taking care of their parents and grandparents, which would probably make them feel more stressful, as they have to devote all their time to work and family, while having none for themselves. This is probably one of the main causes of suicide that has been on the up in recent years.
All in all, an improved life expectancy has both its benefits and downsides that every society has to pay serious attention to. While greater longevity may make people feel happier in their late adulthood, it may also put a great strain on the younger generation and also on the health care system and the economy as a whole. In the near future, it is essential for every government to have appropriate programs and regulations to tackle the problems, while also making good use of any benefits that come with an aged population. | which was once rare hundreds of years ago
Avoid over-exaggerations that show a lack of historical knowledge. People have managed to live over a century in the past, though it was not as common as it is these days.To avoid such errors, never use a time frame reference for this and other similar discussion themes.
he/she
Try to use genderless third person pronouns instead. They, them are quite acceptabh in these essays and are part and parcel of the GRA scoring considerations. By default though , the unknown gender is always a male so "he" would have been the more solid and less confusing gender reference.
They could pass on
A much better and clearer discussion reference point. keep the neutral gender tone in your future essays.
This is probably one of the main causes of suicide that has been on the up in recent years.
Do not deviate from the topic focus.This is an unrelated topic and needs further discussion, seperately. It will not be scored. |
## Charts analysis task
The charts below show how selected age groups purchased concert cinema and theatre tickets online over the first three months of 2006 in three countries and how the Internet was accessed.
The bar chart plots the purchase of concert cinema and theatre tickets of two age brackets (25-44, 65+) on the internet through desktop computer, laptop or mobile phone in January, February, March in 2006 in Australia, UK, Malaysia.
In general, the younger group obtained more tickets on the web than the older one, except for Malaysia. The highest total number of people was recorded in Australia while the reserve was true for Malaysia. All three countries were most likely to acquire the tickets from desktop computer, least likely from mobile phone, and among them, Malaysia had the most access to every means.
As regards to the 25-44 age group, Australia equaled UK in the percentage of purchasers, about 65%, moderately higher than Malaysian (nearly 40%). However, in the other category, there was a minor disparity as 40% people in UK bought tickets online, the same as Malaysia whereas Australia still remained the highest.
When it comes to the method to buy tickets, the most popular is by desktop computer, with a vast majority of roughly 60% or more users per nations. Laptop and mobile phone is less typical. There were not as much usage of laptop in the UK as in Australia and Malaysia, 30% and 40% respectively. The utilization of mobile phone, on the other hand, is quite even, with Malaysia slightly higher.
* | and how the Internet was accessed.
This is a topic usrelated to the first image. It must be presented as a seperate sentence so as not to confuse the first image representation. This is a confusing sentence that will recieve grammar deductions due to a confusing statement presentation. This is a severe error that continues in the the trending statement / paragraph. I am afraid this will be a major concern during the actual test and lead to a failing final score.
The writer has made a clear effort to present a professional report. This will not be lost on the examiner. However, the lack of clear reporting style is what will weigh heavily on the final scoring considerations. |
***Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environment.***
## Discuss both views.
Tourism proponents believe that promoting tourism is an effective way to boost the economy of a country, whereas others focus on the point that tourism involves directly to the environmental concerns, opposing the idea of developing tourism. From a neutral perspective, tourism is actually capable of having both positive and negative influences.
On the one hand, financial merits that tourism brings are massive. Let us take Thailand as a typical example. As reported on Thailandnews.com on 24 January in 2019, the industry was a major contributor to the country's economy, accounting for about 5,65 percent (or 5,6 billion dollars) of the gross domestic product (GDP). Not only that, tourism was also one of Thailand's largest sectors of employment, creating jobs for over 4 million people in the year. Amidst Covid-19 pandemic in 2020, great lack of tourists, leading to the rate of unemployment increasing, seemed to be one of the reasons of social unrest, many protests in the country.
On the other hand, tourism, as other human activities, poses a great threat to the environment. As the industry develops, many hotels and restaurants are constructed to meet travelers' demands. This activity not only leads to depleting of natural resources, but also sabotages the fauna and flora by reason of the need of land. Secondly, tourists often have a penchant for over-consumption in their indulgent moments when travelling. This means they are more likely to consume more products and then dispose more waste such as food and plastic containers, increasing their carbon footprint and affecting negatively the surroundings.
In sum, tourism is advantageous yet disadvantageous since simultaneously it brings economic development and the environmental problems. (275) | From a neutral perspective, tourism is actually capable of having both positive and negative influences.
The prompt provided only indicates a paraphrasing of the 2 original ideas. It is not asking for the willis opinion ora neutral puspective. Without specific instructions asking for this, this sentence should not be included in the presentation. Unless, you provided me with an incomplete writing prompt?
As reported on Thailandnews.com on 24 January in 2019
There is no need for research cited information in the presentation. All evidence must be based on personal knowledge. experience or publicly known information. To create a publicly know information from this, the source material should be removed. There will not be time for you to do research during the 40 minute test. Niether will you have internet access at the testing center. Practice without research.
In sum, tourism is advantageous yet disadvantageous since simultaneously it brings economic development and the environmental problems.
The discussion must be neutral. The essay does not require you to come to a conclusion for the reader. Therefore, topic restatements with reasons are needed for the concluding summary, but not a conclusion. Your job as the writer is only to inform the reader, allowing him to decide for himself. |
Hi guys, it's my very first time trying with ielts writing task2. Can you help me evaluate this essay? What band can i receive? Thanks a lot
**Question 2
*Fossil fuel is the main souce of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged.***
## Is this a positive or negative development?
Answer: There is no denying that fossil fuels are the major source of energy in many nations; however, in some parts of the world, the use of renewable sources such as solar or wind power is being promoted. From my perspective, the switch towards using alternative sources of energy could be seen as a positive development due to the following reasons.
To begin with, unlike fossil fuels which require millions of years to replenish, natural sources such as wind or solar power are everlasting. In fact, these days, the world's population is becoming alarmingly high which leads to a significant increase in demands for fossil fuels for energy. This means these valuable resources will soon dwindle away and the country's economy will be put in jeopardy if there are no alternative sources to replace. Therefore, the shifting towards using alternative sources of energy benefits not only the country's economy but also its citizens in the long run.
Furthermore, I believe that the most prominent advantage of renewable energy is its eco-friendliness. The combustion of fossil fuels has long been believed to be the main culprit of air pollution as nowadays, a great amount of toxic gases from factories and vehicles are emitted into the atmosphere, leading to climate change which results in severe disasters such as floods, droughts and so on. As a result, by using alternative sources of energy in lieu of fossil fuels, several environmental problems will be mitigated as it helps to reduce our dependency on conventional sources of energy.
In conclusion, from the aforementioned reasons, I contend that the changes towards using renewable energy would benefit both humans and the environment in the long run. | There is no denying
Review the original prompt topic. Nowhere in the presentation are you being asked if the topic is true or false. Do not change the topic presentation by adding a personal . to it. This will be seen as a prompt deviation and will score down the paragraph due to restatement inaccuracy.
Good work on the reasoning paragraphs. These are all sensible and publicly supported opinions. The examples provided are relevant and the connectivity of the discussion paragraphs are clear to the reader.
More work is needed on the concluding summary though. A rvin. on sentence was used in the presentation. The paragraph format requires 3-5 sentences, or at least 40 words in 2 sentences. This requirement is used for proper reverse paraphrasing and clarity of reasoning summary presentation. |
## Why do so many teenagers abuse drugs?
Drug abuse is also known as addiction. Substance abuse in adolescents is a very serious and prominent problem today. There are many explanations for the causes of teen drug addiction, one of which is low self-esteem, lack of parental care and attention, and peer pressure.
The first reason that puts young people on the road to addiction is their low self-esteem. Adolescents, who are between the ages of 10 and before 20 years old, have strong, aggressive reactions to everything, are sensitive, and always feel a lack of confidence. Many other young people feel that they are socially inept, unhelpful in life. Drugs are the savior that gives them power and confidence.
An objective cause of this problem is the lack of attention and care of parents. In many families, because they are busy making money, too concerned about their career, both parents work outside the house, not spending much time caring, sharing, and talking with their children, who are in the middle of nowhere puberty, rebellion. In particular, inattentive parents may not be aware of the warning signs of drug abuse that their child is showing.
On the other hand, pressure and pull from friends also cause teenagers to fall into drug abuse. The imposition and comparison of parents about the achievements and abilities of their children and friends also make them stressed, frustrated, and eventually turn to drugs for relief. In other circumstances, it is triumph, frivolity, and the desire to express themselves, to prove themselves as adults, drugs are the means for these young people to demonstrate their ego.
Addiction and drugs abuse during adolescence have numerous major implications, altering the child's mental and developmental growth and producing poor consequences for their future.
In conclusion, the problem of drug abuse among adolescents is a hot issue, of great interest today. With the development of society, there are many reasons for this problem, but the three most basic reasons are low self-esteem, parental concern, and peer pressure. To prevent this, close cooperation from the school and parents is essential; pay special attention to education for adolescents, especially their psychological needs. | one of which
You cannot use this phrase when enumerating several other related outcomes. This phrase only applies to single reference points.
between the ages of 10 and before 20 years old
Incorrect. Adolescence comes in 2 phases. Early. adolescence is from 10-14 years and middle adolescence is from 15- 17. Young adurhood follows after that. Correct the reference.
Drugs are the savior that gives them power and confidence.
Why? The reference must be better developed to bring authority to the writer's claims.
inattentive parents may not be aware of the warning signs of drug abuse that their child is showing.
How does this relate to the power and confidence discussion? Relate the paragraphs.
eventually turn to drugs for relief.
Why? The writer is consistently presenting little to unsupported reasons. Each reason must come with a fully developed explanation.
Addiction and drugs abuse during adolescence have numerous major implications
This is the most undeveloped and senseless paragraph in the whole essay. You know how to fix it. |
## famous individuals more financially rewarding than politicians
Some believe that famous people such as singers, actors, athletics ... are earning more than senior politicians. This phenomenon can easily be explained and in fact, it is bringing about an adverse progress to human's life.
In the first view, it is reasonable for the current fact that well-known people get better paid than politicians. Firstly, artistic activities attract many more people in every field of life. In daily life, individuals are spending a large amount of money on amusing things to serve their mental life as life expectancy of amusement has grown up significantly in the modern era. Particularly, the theme of artistic life is more attractive and interesting than boring news about politics. Secondly, politicians receive monthly salaries from the country, which is the only source of money that they can be paid. Compared with celebrities, a statesman soley receives wages from the country bank while famous ones also make money from followers' gifts and even donate.
On the contrary, this phenomenon can contribute to rough consequences. To begin with, less people will take up politics. Think of the case that they do not receive the suitable range of income despite the hard workload; that makes people consider not choosing to become a politician. Next, it is believed that politics plays a more important role in people's lives than artistic aspects. The president, prime minister, and other senior politicians have a set of responsibilities as the nation's leader as their decisions may have a significant influence on society. Whilst, a means of pleasure or delight does not actually affect one's life and can be replaced for example by several games and outdoor sports
To summarize, it is clear that well-known people get better wages than statesmen in some countries. In order to stop this negative progress, the Government should take this problem into consideration and give out the best solutions. | athletics
Word choice error leading to a lowered vocabulary score. The correct term is athletes. An athlete is a person trained or gifted in exercises or contests involving physical agility, stamina, or strength; a participant in a sport, exercise, or game requiring physical skill. While athletics refers to sports, as running, rowing, or boxing, or track and field.
...
Ellipses, as a punctuation mark is not used in academic writing. Use of this indicates an omission normally present in informal writing. This will lower the grammar accuracy of the presentation.
donate
word use error again. The celebrities recieve donations that add to their income. The student must improve his English language vocabulary with a focus on meaning and proper usage in sentences.
On the contrary, this phenomenon can contribute to rough consequences.
Why are you discussing consequences when the prompt only asks for reasons? Adding non prompt related discussions will result in a failing score due to an improperly developed discussion presentation.
The summary conclusion does not reflect the previous discussion as required. Most of the reduced points will be in the IR section. |
## first-year English-language teachers with regular teaching jobs
The line graph compares proportion of first-year English-language teachers and French-language teachers enrolled in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.
Overall, the percentage of English-language teachers recruited was lower and fell gradually over the period shown.
In 2001, 70% of English-language teachers had a regular job, which is the same as French-language teachers. The proportion of English-language teachers decreased significantly to 40% in 2003, while the figures for French-language teachers dipped in 2002 then returned to nearly 70% in 2003.
There was a slight climb of 5% in the proportion of teachers teaching French recruited in 2005. This figure then declined gradually and hit a low of nearly 30% in 2007.From 2003, the percentage of French-language teachers enrolled remained fairly stable at around 70%, and reached a peak at 75% in 2007.
* | The summary statement misrepresents the task purpose. You referred the data in the graph as being in reference to enrolled teachers for 2 language groups. The original indication is for the rate of hiring / recruitment of teachers. Enrollment is different from hiring. The word meaning does not support the original prompt. It has altered the task restatement accuracy and no longer suits the ouginal presentation. It has failed to achieve paraphrasing expectations. The overall analysis is incorrect mostly due to the inability of the writer to properly rephrase the supplied information. Take for instance the following reference:
70% of English-language teachers had a regular job,
The graph, as per image guidelines. explains that the end measurement, by graduation year, shows how many teachers were hired as regulars. So there is a clear misunderstanding of the presentation data through the writers interpretation. So the score will be low due to the problematic comprehension and restatement skills of the exam taker. |
## Online school and children
In this day and age, distance classes are ubiquitous, mostly every student once experienced this type of learning. In fact, there are countless debates over whether elementary school students are suitable for online classes or not.
On the one hand, many people support that online learning is suitable for primary school students because they are not only convenient but also appropriate to the actual situation. Indeed, the advocate argues that distance learning is advantageous for too young students, when these students attend online classes, they will be comfortable about their space and time of studying, which might promote their studying interests. Moreover, if primary school students have difficulties in learning online, the parents, siblings aids are available for them, these assistants are believed to make them study more efficiently.
On the other hand, the opponent holds a belief that online classes are just a waste of time. People who are against studying online affirm that even if primary school students appear at traditional classes, the students' abilities to acquire lessons are still vague, so the critic believes that when too young students take part in online classes, the effectiveness is significantly decreased.
To sum up, it is safe to assert that the students' studying effectiveness totally depends on themselves. The online or offline classes are just one of a range of factors to help them study efficiently. | The main reason the essay fails to meet formatting requirements is the word count. There are only 227 words written. Where less than 250 words are used in the discussion, a word count percentage penalty will apply. These deductions tend to be the main reason for score failures specially in the TA section. The prompt provided is incomplete. There are 2 ways this essay could have been discussed:
- Discuss both views and give an opinion
- Discuss your opinion.
Based on the present format, it appears that the first format is what is required for the discussion. So, it is the personal opinion paragraph that is missing and, as such, is the reason why the word count was not met. The essay can therefore, only receive a score based on an incomplete reasoning presentation. Such types of scoring considerations do not result in a passing score. |
## More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars
As technology is increasing progressively, there is no doubt that in the future, we may have the opportunity to transfer to another planet. Some people hold an opinion that we should spend a considerable amount of money in order to uncover planets that could be a suitable accommodation, Mars, for instance, could be a possible home. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this issue and explain why the writer does not opt for this argument and bring out some relevant examples.
On the one hand, spending money on researching planets that could be another home besides the Earth could be of immense help. Firstly, the Earth is suffering from global warming, requiring another place to live. It is clearly seen that the air is severely polluted, the ice bergs are melting on the planet, resulting in the deaths of myriads of terrestrial and marine animals and the imbalance of ecosystem. The Earth is being damaged, thus, people should move to another place such as Mars. Therefore, the governments need to invest an amount of money in detecting for planets that could accommodate seven billions of people from the Earth. Secondly, searching for another planet besides the Earth can be a back-up situation in case of the Earth is suffered from severe natural disasters, or even apocalypse.
On the other hand, I strongly believe that there is unecessary to invest in looking for another planet besides the Earth for many reasons. Firstly, the blame for the most recent mass extinction and environmental degradation is not natural catastrophe - it is human. There is no doubt that human is the main culprit of the global warming and other environmental issues. Therefore, to address this problem, the governments should levy exorbitant fines on devastating behaviours such as littering, illegal dumping or other environmental offences to raise the public awareness about this issue. Thus, this problem may be ameliorated and moving to another planets is unecessary. In addition, the authorities can save an appropriate amount of money to distribute to other important sectors such as education and healthcare. Secondly, the amount of money for researching another planets besides the Earth is too expensive and costly. For example, the construction for rockets may cost millions of dollars. This huge amount of money should be allocated to more significant sectors such as education or environment instead of searching for another planets.
In conclusion, while there are some merits in recovering for different planets besides the Earth, I strongly believe that this is an unecessary searching for the aforementioned reasons. | why the writer does not opt for this argument
You are the writer. This is your opinion. You are not analyzing the point of view of someone else. Refer to yourself in this paragraph via first person pronoun usage. The opinion requirement is for your personal point of view. This is a reference opinion waccuracy and will be marked down inthe preliminary score.
This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this issue and explain why the writer does not opt for this argument
Did you make up the topic on your own? It would appear so since the A/D discussion does not ask for the writer's personal opinion. Only the "Discuss both views" requires that. You have created a prompt for yourself that will never be applied to an actual task 2 topic. You will not learn anything applicable to task 2 writing with this exercise so I will not be evaluating it. |
## positive effects of physical activity
Doing exercise regularly brings about many noteworthy positive effects on people's health including physical health and mental health. Firstly, exercise on a daily basis plays an important role in enhancing control of their weight. In fact, more and more people get overweight due to sedentary lifestyle or lack of exercise, which exerts detrimental impact on physical health. Therefore, it is necessary to participate in physical activities, not only to burn calories but also to maintain a slim figure. Secondly, regular physical activity aids in treatment of a various health problems and disorders. There are many serious diseases, which people often get, for example, cardiovascular disease, stroke, type two diabetes. Although it is really difficult to treat these diseases successfully, people can reduce the risk even further by engaging in physical activity. Finally, when people enhance physical fitness with daily exercise, they tend to feel better, and more relaxed. It can be seen that people have to face a range of difficulties and carry a great burden of responsibility, relationship, financial problems, which result in a variety of mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, stress. According to some researchers, exercise is an effective method to improve the ability of sleep and lift people's mood. The reason is that focusing on their own bodies while doing exercise help people forget worries for a while and have more positive thoughts. In conclusion, it is beneficial to take part in physical activities regularly due to its advantages in promoting better health. | The content of the presentation is strong when it comes to topic presentations. However, it is weak in terms of discussion development. Without knowing what the writing instructions are, I would have to say that the problems of this presentation refer to:
- Presentation formatting
- Discussion development
consider the 2 problem points as inter-related. Solving the formatting mistake will fix the discussion development. By providing seperate paragraphs anchored on various benefit topics, the writer will be able to better develop the provided reasons based on an expanded discussion format. There are different topics presented that need individual paragraph development. some of these topics are:
Doing exercise regularly brings about many noteworthy positive effects on people's health including physical health and mental health.
- A stronger expanded introduction would create more interest for the reader
exercise on a daily basis plays an important role in enhancing control of their weight.
-This is a properly developed paragraph but loses clarity because of the jumbled format.
The writer can pretty much assess the topic sentences for himself, then separating and developing each paragraph. |
## which system is more appropriate?
n some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a wide range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. For today's world, which system is appropriate?
There is no denying the paramount importance of education on society. In light of this, there are various curriculums in order to maximize the effects of the learning process. In some nations, students can access various subjects at secondary schools. Meanwhile, others prefer vocational education that orient students to a career in the future. While the latter system is not without certain drawbacks, I am convinced that it is generally more suitable for both students and society as well.
Admitted that advantages of a general education are evidenced. The key benefit is that children can be exposed to distinct majors, and hence they can choose the most appropriate major for themselves based on their interest and abilities after experiencing all subjects. Simultaneously, diversity of knowledge may pave the way for adolescents to have a complete development in the future since they are equipped with sufficient information in all fields. However, the aforementioned advantages pale into significance when compared to glaring drawbacks. Firstly, this system may spell trouble for students because of a hectic learning schedule before exams of numerous subjects that make students exhausted. This is compounded by the problem that children have to acquire so much knowledge that they are prone to put up with stress because of being overloaded no matter how much information they can apply to the practice in the future.
Meanwhile, it is justifiable for some to not extol the vocational system. The main rationale is that this curriculum may limit the abilities and skills of students in a particular specialization. Nevertheless, this thinking is flawed since this system brings many glamour benefits. Children can attain essential knowledge and skill sets related to their future jobs from an early age. This development is a boon to their career opportunities because they may be versed in their field after a long time of focused training without being distracted by other subjects. In addition to this, the less irrelevant subjects children study, the more time they have for their major subjects; therefore, they can harmonize theoretical and practical education to have a bulk of job experience in the future. Not only students but organizations are also positively affected by this education system. A narrow range of subjects related to a certain major may help juveniles become a seasoned professional after graduating. As a result, enterprises can save a colossal amount of money on training new employees in terms of major knowledge and skills.
In conclusion, although each system has its own merits and demerits, I strongly deem that the vocational system should be adopted in lieu of a general education for the sake of students as well as companies. | The discussion format is the main reasons why this essay may avoid a passing score. Based on the task requirement, the discussion is to focus solely on one type of educational system. The 2 reasons involved must be angled towards the applicability of the learning style to today's world. While the writer chose a particular academic style for the opinion presentation, there was a failure to properly defend, via applicable discussion points, the writers point of view.
For some reason, the writer opted to use a comparative discussion presentation. Effectively saying that both styles have strong suits even as attention is called to drawbacks. The whole point of the essay was simply to justify why her educational style choice in most applicable to today's world. Rather than having 2 supporting paragraphs, there is only 1. So the discussion has 2 Task lowering errors:
- Incorrect response presentation
- Under developed reasoning discussion
The discussion pointh presented are clear and logical for the intentions of the writer. The problem, is that only 1 out of 2 paragraphs addresses the discussion requirement. |
## Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time
Owing to the reality that teenagers usually have more leisure time than adults, there are some argue that such adolescents' free time must be spent on doing unpaid work for the community. However, I completely disagree with this opinion, and I believe that the young themselves should feel free to choose their ways of spending free time.
The first reason in favor of my argument is that the teenagers have had enough pressure in their lives, so they deserve having free time for themselves notwithstanding being forced to do more voluntary works. Since schools require their students to strive their best every day in order to get good grades, students are believed to be put under many kinds of pressure including peer pressure, which may even cause serious mental health issues. Therefore, whenever teenagers have free time, methods to encourage them to take part in sport activities or other positive entertainment should be implemented instead of those unpaid works.
Another reason supporting my view is that forcing others to do anything is against the human's right and value of volunteering. Since no one has the right to tell others live the life they want, forcing teenagers to do unpaid work for the community is an inapplicable and absurd idea. Moreover, unpaid work for the community should only stem from one's heart and it is only meaningful if it is done in a voluntarily way, therefore we should only encourage the young to do it but not forcing them.
In conclusion, despite the arguments for asking the young to do voluntary work in their leisure time, I would argue that the choice of what to do with the young's free time should be in their hands. | I completely disagree
The exaggerated response is uncalled for. Use this type of response presentation only for "extent" requirement essays. For this prompt, a simple and straightforward disagreement is sufficient. Remember that to are scored or response accuracy. That includes the expected response format presentation. some deductions will apply to your response format.
to do more voluntary works.
This seems incorrect. The implication of your reason is that the youth already do voluntary use youth service without a mandate to do so. Therefore, the discussion presented is pointless. The use of the word "more" is what misdirected the sentence focus.
The concluding summary is not properly formatted. This should be done using 2 sentences of at least 20 words each. It should contain a summary discussion of at least 40 words to be acceptable for scoring. |
***Some people think that the purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Other believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain.***
## Discuss both viewpoint and give your own opinion.
Museum is an institute which preserves, interprets and displays the cultural and historical objects of preceding era that represent human history. Some believe that it should be an attractive and entertaining place for young generations while others claim that museum is where we can acquire knowledge. Those who view museums as a means of educating or entertaining are not wrong to focus on this aspect. In my opinion, I believe museums can and should be both entertaining and educational.
People who support the idea that museum should be a recreational place highlight that museum is a tourist attraction which compete with other sources of recreation for youngster's attention such as cinemas, sports and outdoors activities. With an appealing design and visually spectacular, museums are likely to attract more visitors who are not interested in too much educational context. It is also offer visitors chances to get hands-on experience, for example to use a model of the exhibit to see how it works. As a result, museum becomes a more fascinating and tempting place to young people. Additionally, once they are built for enjoyable purpose, they might have more opportunities to earn enough funding from the government as well as private sources that adequate the number of visitors.
On the other side of the viewpoint there are people who believe museum should provide a worthwhile educational environment. Museum could increase the historical awareness among community by representing the custom, culture and traditions of our ancestors of the museums, it is like a tool that facilitates us to maintain and preserve local and national cultural. Furthermore, when museums are solely built for learning purpose, it is possible an ideal source to find out intriguing information for casual visitors, specialists and educated scholars. They offer more in-depth knowledge for public with various aspects such as history, geography and science by knowledgeable guides.
In conclusion, from a visitor or community perspective, the purpose can also depend on one's point of view. I believe that museums should promote their traditional role of educating and attracting youngster as well as the general public. | Those who view museums as a means of educating or entertaining are not wrong to focus on this aspect.
This is an opinion discussion sentence. It should not be presented in the restatement + opinion paragraph. There should only be 3 sentences here. The 2 public opinions and your personal opinion nothing more.
In conclusion,
This is not the concluding summary section yet. This is your personal opinion paragraph, the 3nd reasoning paragraph requirement of the prompt. The discussion format for the paragraph is incorrect. By removing the first sentence and developing the paragraph starting at the " I believe" part, the discussion will meet the paragraph presentation requirements. Right now, the personal opinion is the least effective presentation in this essay.
A concluding summary presents the recap of the topic and reasoning paragraphs. It should not represent a continuing discussion as that creates an open-ended essay. An essay without a properly formatted conclusion might recieve a failing mark. |
**Task 2:
*Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better.***
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the era of development, sports are multiform and considered indispensable with enormous benefits to humans. Some people hold the opinion that playing sports in teams brings many advantages to humans' life, while others believe that individual sports are more beneficial than team sports in different aspects. Both views are discussed and my perspective will be proposed later.
For people who approve team sports, it is advantageous in many ways when taking part in sports with teammates. Regularly, players in this kind of sports, like football, are formed in specific roles and trained with different professions; however, in a match, all of them have to collapse and each person needs to express their capability with the common aim of achieving a gold medal. Therefore, establishing a team which includes many players can help them to practice their how to cooperate and control their feelings in order not to put personality above common targets.
In contrast, some people stand in the opposite view that individual sports create more favourable conditions for athletes than letting them play in teams due to the effectiveness of individual coaching. People believe that coaching one by one makes the training process not to be interrupted by many factors, for example, the lateness of teammates. Instead of waiting partners which lead to delay the process, practicing alone helps athletes to save time and focus on the training.
In my opinion, each sport type brings different advantages and both of them are important to humans. Every sport has its own nature, therefore, because of that dissimilarity, people can not put them on the scale of benefit and discuss whether team sports or individual sports are more valuable.
In conclusion, the value of two sport kinds is still controversial when team-sport advocates think that playing sports in teams can be a proper method to connect people while others support sports which are played alone due to the efficiency in practicing. I am in the middle of the scale and believe that each of them has their own role in helping humans. | The discussion paragraphs can use more development. Do not end the paragraph after the example presentation. Add a sentence or two that will further support the example provided. Those final few sentences will help add to the cohesiveness of the related paragraph discussion points while adding to the coherence of your thought process as you developed the reasoning paragraph.
You could have better developed your neutral opinion had you chosen to further develop the discussion. What your opinion lacked was an expanded discussion. This time, you forgot to present relevant examples that would have proved your point. This could have been presented effectively based on personal experience or knowledge.
All things considered, it is still a well written essay, falling short only because of example discussions. |
## online tickets selling statistics
The charts give information about the purchase of concert, cinema and theater tickets online based on two specific age groups in 3 months in 2006 in various countries, as well as the mean they used to access the internet.
Looking from an overall perspective, the primary customer of online tickets in Aus and the UK was in 25-44 aged. Moreover, the desktop was the most common way to get involved in this activity by far.
As the chart portrays, Aus and UK had 55% of people in the 25-44 aged range bought tickets online during the period. This ratio dropped to 45% for the former and 40% for the latter. On the other hand, the statistics of Malaysia showed a reverse pattern from its counterpart. To be precise, Maylasia citizens surpassing 65 years participated more in the online ticket market with 40%, while the 25-44 group was 5 % less.
Regarding Internet access transport, people in three countries most favor desktop computer to buy tickets. This segment proportion was 58%,62%, and 75% in Aus, the UK, and Malaysia respectively. Also noteworthy is the fact that there was a similarity in the rank among those countries between the desktop computer and mobile phone. However, each section in the latter kept the gap from 40-50 to the former. In addition, nearly 40% of the customer in AUs and Malay used the laptop, whilst this category in the UK was 30%. | The number of charts and what each chart assignment refers to is crucial to the clarity of the summary description. Without clear relatable image tie -ins, the trending paragraph cannot deliver an imaginable report to the reader. This is important because there is no image attached to this report. It becomes difficult to track the cdata references being made in the paragraphs.
As the chart portrays
Which chart? How is it identified. Do you see how the lack of a clear reference point can confuse the reader?
The writer does a good job at reporting data. However, there is a lack of cohesiveness in the report due to the lack of image relationship. |
## international students number by subject
The line graph provides information about the amount of overseas students and which subject they choose in the years from 2000 to 2004.
Overall, business and management is prevalent whereas social science and life science has the lowest number of enrollments by students. Engineering with mathematics and computing are somewhere between.
In 2000 the subject business and management had 100.000 students which will flactuate during 4 years, first goin up to 120.000 in 2002 adn then declining to 105.000 approximetly in the end of the period. The mathematic and computing classes saw a noticeble rise from 55.000 in 2000 to 70.000 comparing to the engineering which dropped to 65.000 from 75.000.
Two last subjects with the lowest quantity of scholars are social science and life science which are stayed the same with 40.000 attendees where only after 3 years in 2003, social science experienced an increase in number of students to 55.000 roughly.
* | The summary would have been improved and seen as a more thorough representation of the original image if the 4 subjects were listed as well. It would have delivered a completely scannable overview with a more complete task presentation. It would have also added to the clarity of the subject references in the trending paragraph. Every little scoring boost helps in your case since your English fluency is very problematic and can lower your score rather than improve it
will flactuate
@j0NZICH
Wrong tense usage. All references should be in past form since it started in 2008 and ended in 2004. These measured events have already taken place.
which are stayed the same
confusing sentence structure. It cannot be both in past and present word structures. This can only be past in reference
The essay will fail based on coherence and grammar rules shortcomings. |
Prompt:
## **Society advances most when people break from the traditions of their predecessor**
It is believed that society evolves faster if poeple will break the chain of past traditions. I agree with this belief because of several reasons which will be listed in this essay.
First and foremost, old traditions are sometimes will not express views of younger traditions. For example, the notion about that young poeple must listen to their parents before choosing their lovers has been prevalent in Asian countries. Adhering to this rools can bring some issues in future family since poeple who will be bounded up together will not know each others prior to the wedding. This can lead to luckluster relationship between partners and have negative impact on their childrens. In addition, in some situations our old traditions are so deap-seated that we shun to think about other ways to do a particular job. For instance, it is not a secret that youth have to seek assistance from olders since it is often believed that the latter has more life-experience and wisdom. Hence, there are a lot of cases when youngsters did not speak up, albeit they had a better solution to a problem.
Second think which I should mention is that diversity of traditions can bring new ideas and spark the beginning for the breakthroughs. Many studies have shown that new idias are established when poeple commence somethink new from their counterparts and not in a cluster of poeple who do the same thinks like them. Furthemore, homogeneity of poeple will affect the environment in which they reside, thus their future objectives and plans. Going out the box and doing somethink unique will help to succeed in the world where people often connected to beliefs which they accept with out any doubts and do not want to taste them
To sum up, I see no reason to obey traditions which are established in the past since they can be incompatible with modern movements. | This topic is used as a basic writing exercise by ESL students. It does not use an agree or disagree response format. Rather, it uses a general opinion from the writer to compare 2 opposite opinions. However, you have chosen to create a personally styled prompt for this essay. I will review it as such.
several reasons
This reference means more than 2 reasons. When only 2 references are used the descriptive word "couple" meaning no more than 2 is used. Familiarize yourself with number references to avoid future reference/meaning errors.
Second think
Proofreading error. The result of careless writing and lack of English vocabulary familiarity. The correct reference is " thing".
There are more word usage and spelling errors in this presentation that will lead to a failing LR and GRA score. The writer should practice editing and proofreading his work next time and also, work on improving his vocabulary in relation to word usage. This is very sloppy work that shows a lack of interest in learning to properly use the English language. |
***Prompt:
## Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socializing online to meeting one another in person.
Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?***
**Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**
My answer
When compared to direct communication, virtual socializing gains greater popularity among young people. This essay discusses the possible reasons for this popularity and gives a measure to encourage physical communication in the young.
The first reason lies in the cost-effective and private nature of online interactions. Instead of face-timing, young people can go to a cafe, pay for a drink and have a chat. But using a webcam, teenagers can regularly converse with their friends in the comfort of their home, which is much more economical. Also, online communication allows the young to present themselves in the more private settings of their homes or their bedrooms, which facilitates deeper and more intimate talks.
Secondly, virtual socializing is a safer and more controlled alternative to direct communication. Since people have more control over who they interact with and how the socializing happens, they are far less likely to encounter unexpected accidents. Furthermore, if the person wishes to be alone, he can just shut the camera off. While he can still connect with other people and show them part of his world, he also has his independence.
However, focusing only on virtual communication might hinder children's social development. In order to stimulate teenagers' interest in one-on-one interactions, parents should curtail their children's screen time and encourage them to spend more quality time with their families. Not only does this teach teenagers essential social skills but also sets a good model of healthy interactions. Thus, adolescents will learn the importance of physical communication and naturally opt for such interactions.
Overall, while virtual socializing is favored by teenagers in terms of costs, privateness, and control, parents should make sure their teenage children find a balance between virtual and non-virtual interactions. | Instead of face-timing
This discussion point is rather confusing. This phrase in particular, refers to an I Mac or I Phone feature for online video chatting. So it cannot be used as a counter reference for virtual interactions. The very nature of the phrase refers to an online communications platform.
young people can go to a cafe
A cafe is used for physical social interactions. The addition of the word "internet" before the word "cafe" would have made the online interaction reference more obvious and less confusing.
Overall, this paragraph creates confusion for the reader due to improper word reference usage. Reference to online interactions need a better description to suit the prompt topic basis.
virtual socializing is a safer and more controlled alternative
This is the more appropriate and far better referenced discussion paragraph. The miter need not have used 2 reasons as to the "Why" question as only one reason is required. Had the writer used this reason immediately without a previous reason, the C + C and scores would not have been reduced.
The prompt restatement was clear but did not have a thesis sentence.so there is no direct response to the provided questions as task required. So the score in terms of production accuracy is also going to be lower as it does not follow the expected summary response format. |
**Task 2
*In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
## What are the reasons for this?
How can people research this?***
It is widely acknowledged that the building or house history generally draws the attention of people. This trend is driven by several factors, and some viable solutions can be implemented to help them obtain more information relating to this.
There are two compelling reasons as to the proliferation of the house or building history exploration. First and foremost, being aware of fascinating building history stories from media can instill individuals to investigate more about that. For example, various simulating narratives of the building history have been portrayed through various TV programs or films. In addition to this, people under an obligation of purchasing or renting new houses or apartments, call a demand for researching carefully about the history.
In order to address the aforementioned issue, people should administer the following measures. Firstly, investing time on the internet or social media is key to familiarizing people with information from google or online persons. Inasmuch as the internet is a global network with a host of persons from field and culture differences, people can gain any knowledge they have a soft spot. Another feasible solution could be to ask directly to local residents about the houses or buildings people appeal to explore the history. The help from such persons is irrefutably beneficial and necessary for people to have a comprehensive understanding of the history of these houses or even hidden secrets of them.
In conclusion, the general understanding of the history of the buildings or houses that we live in may stem from numerous underlying factors, and the proposed solutions can be executed to reverse the trend. | The focus of the writer is on the interest of architectural buffs in homes and buildings. This does not necessarily mean that they reside /live in the house or building. The restatement is incorrect as the original refers to the interest of people in the backstory of the house or building they live in. It is a general interest in a non-historical dwelling. The restatement failed to accurately restate this.
The incorect perception is the reason why the first reasoning paragraph does not offer the correct reasons for wanting to know about the story of the residence. So a failing score will be applied to that paragraph. IHavever, a passing score will be applied to the research discussion presentation
2 out of 3 discussion paragraphs are incorrect. The essay is not headed towards a passing mark. |
## Study subjects depending on the results
The paper has to be at least 4 pages long and so far, I have just over three pages written, but I'm running out of ideas. I have a thesis (students should be able to test out of subjects they excel in so they can focus on ones they struggle with) and three reasons (1. I excelled in English thoughout my academic career and would have done reasonably well in a college English class. 2. I struggled with math and would have benefited from more time to improve in that area. 3. Whether a student can test out of a subject they got decent grades in but showed no remarkable skill should be determined based on the subject matter of the class and the individual student's understanding and absorption of it in the past.) How should I proceed? Also, my professor doesn't mind if we crowdsource ideas, so if anyone has ideas/opinions or personal experience they're willing to share, that would be helpful.
Prompt: If you achieve adequately high scores on assessment tests, should you be able to opt out of high school? For example, if in 9th grade, you prove you have greater abilities in every subject than the average high school graduate, should you be able to move on to college? There are a few things to consider. How would you have done in this class (ENGL 1010) as a fourteen-year old? Would you go directly to college, or would you do nothing for a few years? What would you do if you graduated from college at age eighteen? Are we encouraged to waste our time? (Do not write an essay that answers the questions in order.) | Each person would respond to the prompts differently. You have provided pretty logical responses to the early questions at this point. Most of which are personal in nature. That said, you should avoid crowd-sourcing the restof your responses to the remaining questions. Do not be afraid to open up to your professor if you would have accepted to graduate college at age 18 or not. It appears that you would not appreciate an early graduation. Explain why. Focus on your desire to improve in your weak learning areas. Reason out as to why a student should not be rushed out of the college learning process based on your current observations and experiences. You will be able to expand on the discussion points more if you use a personal point of view instead of general reference points. |
*Please help to comment my essay. Thank you so much.*
**Task:
*Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.***
## Discuss both views and state your opinion.
It is often argued that organizing a worldwide sports event brings many good things for country, whilst others disagree and consider it is bad. In my opinion, having chance to held a international sports event helps the host country to get many benefits. This essay will discuss both points of view.
Signing up to host a global sport event is an opportunity for country to gain reputation and develop economic. Sport activities are always received attention from everyone, therefore holding a sport event will attractive a lot of people from other countries come to visit as well as introduce the culture of the country to the world. For instance, an impressing performance on opening ceremony will make global friends to remember more about country. An increase in the number of visitors will contribute to the development of tourism.
However, preparation for a big event also brings a lot of pressures for the host country. Firstly, every country which wants to be a host must invest tons of money in facility construction, such as FIFA standard stadium, athletics pool, accommodation for athletes. Secondly, during the event the host country has to effort to ensure security, this will take a large amount of labor and money. For example, organizing committee has to set up many CCTV both inside and outside the place where competitions are happening and designate a force to protect and coordinate participants.
In conclusion, although hosting an international sport event can bring both good and bad things to the host country. I still believe that if a country take opportunity to held a global festival or competion in sport, it will receive a lot of benefits because the world's interest in that event is realy huge. | ~~This essay will discuss both points of view.~~
There is no need to repeat the discussion directions. You have already shown the examiner what the instructions are through the prompt restatements and the presentation of your personal opinion. The prompt restatement + s would get a better score without this sentence. It is non-scoring as it does not help to increase any scoring section in anyway.
An increase in the number of visitors will contribute to the development of tourism.
designate a force to protect and coordinate participants.
For each public opinion, you can explain why you oppose or support the idea. That will prevent the need for you to use a stanst alone personal opinion paragraph. This current presentation is missing your personal opinion based on the 3 reasoning paragraph thesis statement at the start. A personal insight per paragraph would have helped you somewhat meet the personal discussion requirement. Opting to use response style 2 for this essay would have preserved your final score.
Good job though. You would have been scored on 2 out of 3 required presentations. |
## learning foreign languages and technology
In today's world, there are technological leaps that computers have the ability to convert the gross of languages in prompt and correct ways. Learning an external language is supposed to be time-consuming. In my pointview, I completely disapprove and this essay will analyse the negative perspectives for this issue.
Technological devices are aimed to automatically run programs with precede arrangements. Computers just convert language to another language mechanically but not reflecting any particular circumstance such as emotions, feelings, accents, etc. Despite the instant results that they bring, where the differences of culture emerges, the exact meaning of speeches are required so as to avoid complexes or misunderstandings the automators can cause or in case the language is not available on programs. As a result of technical leaps, humans have a tendency to depend on translators so that they unconsciously refuse to comprehend new languages or even cultures. To assume, the major problems are the fact that the automatic translators hardly match any random situation and affecting people's logical thinking.
The claim that studying any foreign languages is costly and unnecessary is totally false anyhow. According to people's reliance on computers being told, enrolling in a new language motivates us in researching its history as well as nations' cultures associated with. The more time you spend on jargon, the more enriched your knowledge is. In addition, translation mechanics are made with language base, without the base, these devices are not of any use. In general, language studying is urgent to improve yourself as a highly-educated individual that vouches for the development of civilization now and then.
In conclusion, it is untruthful to underestimate the appearance of language learners while technology is thiftingly advanced. Thus people should vitally be encouraged to research new languages on Earth with the help of computers. | Learning an external language is supposed to be time-consuming.
The reference synonym for "children" was not indicated in the restatement. This led to an incorrect interpretation of the original discussion basis. The original reference point was that children no longer need to learn other foreign languages. This has affected the efficient restatement of the prompt. The response to the question is on point and should recieve full scoring consideration even as the prompt restatement faces some deductions due to the inaccurate interpretation of the original.
etc.
Avoid using abbreviations and non-academic word references. It will be better to use a full stop/ period instead.
humans have a tendency to depend on translators
There is a lack of topic cohesiveness in this paragraph. A transition sentence that connects the first topic to the nest would have resolved that. Scoring of the C + C is based on topic coherence within a paragraph, along with one paragraph to the next. Where transitions are not used, a scoring deduction will be applied. |
***A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.***
## To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Nowadays, there is a common belief that social positions, as well as the levels of wealth, can define a person with less consideration on other traditionally moral virtues. From my perspective, I do not advocate this point of view as differences between abstract and material values.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that to some extend, people can gain higher respect and build up their reputation due to social status and their own property, especially in East Asia countries where the society was featured by hierarchy. People work, receive benefits and make friends based on their social classes. It's rare to witness a rich lady get along with poor children.
On the other hand, good ancient values are still fundamental to building up a sustainable society. A person who is honest and kind can receive love from other people. Maybe he cannot live a luxurious life, but his mind is comfortable and full of happiness. Talent without virtue can be a danger to society. For example, in Vietnam, a KOL who is famous for either negative scandals or positive popularity could earn an enormous amount of money through their social media channel and advertisement. Temporarily, that man can buy friends, summon tons of privileges at will, and be considered as an idol in another's eyes. However, without a good moral personality, he may incidentally spread negative and wrong information widely which results in damaging effects and wrong actions of the viewer. As he lost his money, his false friends returned to him as impertinently.
In summary, wealth or social status is not the key factor to define a person who is worth being a friend or admired. Talent and virtue should be combined to define a whole human being. | I do not advocate this point of view
I understand this sentiment. However, the strength of this opinion is not indicated using an emotional measurement. Therefore, the response aspect of the restatement is only partially correct. There will be an accuracy score reduction because of the lack of "extent " response. It bothers me that you recieved a scoring penalty for an otherwise strong presentation just because of a technicality. I urge you to review your response next time, ensure that it properly and completely meets the writing requirements.
On the one hand, it is undeniable
This response would have been more acceptable if you had presented the degree of error, as you percieve the reason to have. Remember that the purpose of an extent essay is to prove a measurement of error for the public opinion. Without that discussion, the representation becomes incorrect as a comparative response when a single opinion is expected. |
*PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK FOR MY IELTS WRITING TASK 2. I REALLY APPRECIATE!*
## **TOPIC: Companies use different ways to increase sales.**
*What different ways do companies use to increase sales? What is the most effective one?*
During these days, enterprises have high demand for raising brand awareness and this trend has led to a variety of advertising strategies. Some of the most common ways are via visual illustration and word of mouth but celebrity endorsement is considered to bring the best result.
To commence, advertising through visuals is synonymous with approaching customers by providing them numerous images and related information about the brands. Examples include banners and leaflets which are continuously distributed in public places or even large screens hung on high- rise buildings around crowded streets. As a result, consumers are gradually instilled with the products, facilitating their desires to possess them.
Moreover, the technique of spreading the brand's reputation through word of mouth is also favored by many companies. Nowadays, people religiously chat with their relatives such as families and friends so that should anyone recommend a product even if it is not necessary, it could still win trust from others.
Even though there are several ways to improve profit, affiliation with celebrities, especially young influencers, is being chosen by the majority. Along with the advancement of social platforms, the youth is easily affected by their idols. To be more specific, teenagers seem to buy things that create moments with famous people or choose the products shared by them. For example, from luxurious brands such as Channel to lower ones, they all have celebrities become their ambassadors, promoting their sales to a larger scale of customers thanks to their huge fans.
In conclusion, it is evident that there are a number of ways to increase sales and collaboration with famous influencers might be the most ultimate one. | The discussion presentation meets all of the required prompt points. It has accurately presented a restatement and, a clear direct response to the questions. Creating an excellent discussion guideline / thesis statement for the examiner to consider. Very good work on the most important aspect of this exam. Always address all the succeeding essays this way. You are going to have a tremendously high preliminary score for sure.
However, the discussion paragraphs could use a bit more work. When it comes to the family influence regarding advertising, the discussion feels too brief. Try to add more supporting elements to the discussion. Aim for a 3-5 sentence discussion per paragraph to fully achieve the scoring potential of each idea presentation. When indicating that celebrity endorsements do the best work, you should mention a few of them. The Kardashians could be one of the examples of social media influencers and celebrity endorsers who deliver increased sales of various products that they endorse. Examples are important because that is a "suggested" discussion slant by the original prompt. The same can also be applied, if you wish, to any family influencing reference. Just to add to the supporting discussion and example element.
Overall, not a bad job. The essay is sure to recieve high marks overall since there are very negligible errors in relation to GRA and LR use. The most important aspects of TA and C+C scores are well established in your writing. |
## Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
The concept of renting a house or actually buying it is one of the most controversial topics to be talked about when it comes to making decisions in finding a settled place for many households. In my outlook, I think owning a house will be a beneficial decision to make, but it still depends on some of the situations and types of circumstances each family is dealing with.
First of all, it is clear that owning a house genuinely brings on a lot more benefits instead of renting one. Finance is one of the severe issues if you can not pay the rent bill of your house, because nowadays it is harder to have a decent income for your family, so it will reduce the amount of outcome if you can afford a house from the beginning. Moreover, you are able to freely utilize all the spaces on the wall of your house, this might not be applied if you live in a rented house, many owners of it will definitely not be happy if you leave something firmly on their walls after you left the house.
But on the other hand, there are still lots of families which are not able to purchase a decent house as their shelter. Consequently, the typical temporary choice of them would be to find a good house that comes with a handy renting price. It is not a bad thing to do if finance is one of your biggest issues, but it also comes with many drawbacks. The impoverished environment is one the biggest disadvantages that you have to face with, the space will not always be enough for you to do the daily routine, as a result in inconvenience of your own place where you have to live for a long period. It is not easy to find a niche place to live when you search for it by yourself, the advertisement of the place will not let you know what it is actually going to be looked like. So that you might end up in the kind of places where your privacy will not be respected or got surrounded by many bad behavior neighbors.
To summarize, Owning something will always be the best choice to make if you have the chance to afford it. And to be clarified, it is nothing negative about renting a short-term shelter if your family can not derive too many outcomes when it comes to a payment day.
*
*Prompt* | most controversial topics
It is not a controversial topic. It is, as per the orginal presentation, an important one. The writer chose the wrong synonym to use lbased on word meaning. Please note the difference:
Important - of much or great significance or consequence
controversy - a prolonged public dispute, debate, or contention; disputation concerning a matter of opinion.
The keyword in the prompt is "important". so the alternate pleases that carry the same reference /meaning are; "essential consideration" , " critical need", or, " pressing matter ". alternate words of the same or similar meaning must be used to avoid altering the thought presentation or reasoning behind the original topic. There is no matter of ( presented but a fact for most countries There are no opposing views present in the ouginal, which could be the basis of controversy. The writer misunderstood the topic.
I think
As you are graded on the clarity of your opinion, this phrase shows an undecided way of thinking, resulting in an uncleon opinion. This is not a comparison essay. neither is it an extent essay. Had it been one of the 2 aforementioned discussion types ,then your response would have been acceptable. The response format is improper. The initial presentation fell short of the correct discussion requirements. This makes it difficult to get a passing score even if minimal scores are awarded throughout. |
Essay- IELTS writing task 2
***In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent.**
## Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience*
The crime rate has been on the rise and the extent of severity for each offense is also escalating. The causes behind crimes are complex. Thus, to prevent crime, it is obligatory to have an understanding of its roots. This essay will discuss why the crime rate has increased and what can be done about it.
The main reason for crime is the environment that people live in. I believe poverty is what drives most people to crimes. Poverty manifests itself in a lack of educational opportunities, poor housing. Without proper education, unemployment is what happens next to these people. Hence, they have small and unstable incomes and often struggle to afford shelter, food, and other basic needs. As a result, they commit crimes like pickpocketing, burglary, or even murder to feed their family. In addition, living in poverty causes people to stress. As a result, there is a great temptation to turn to drugs and alcohol use which also has an extremely close connection with crime and violence. Another factor comes from overexposure to violent images, whether from tv, video games as a means of recreation which may cause crimes to become more violent or in real-life like domestic violence can set a negative pattern on a person's mindset.
To address these problems, we should make education available to more people in need and inform people about the consequences of crimes. We also need to raise awareness about drug and alcohol addiction. Besides, Government should create job opportunities for poor people to help them earn an adequate income. A war on poverty is also a war on crime. I believe, in doing so, the living standard of the poor will improve. Hence, it will bring down the crime rate as people are less likely to commit crimes for their basic needs.
In conclusion, more people are living in poverty as the population continues to rise. And as long as there is poverty, the crime rate will increase. A practical approach to this problem will help reduce crime. Perhaps focusing on improving the poor's living conditions. We can do that through education and by creating more job opportunities. | The essay failed to provide a relevant example based on the knowledge and experience of the student. This is a somewhat personal opinion essay based on the current crime status of one's country. In this case, the crime status in Vietnam should have been the full basis for the discussion and representation in the reasoning paragraphs. These general discussion points are good and could well apply to any country. However, the prompt discussion indicates that the writer must write from relevant examples and experiences. This is the only missing reference in the presentation. This information could have been made up by the writer, as long as he mentioned a country (such as Vietnam) as the basis of the discussion. |
*Please check and give feedbacks on my essay!*
## **Should the world have only one government or a national government for each country?**
The responsibility for ruling nations has long been assigned to governments, and such controlling systems are adopted by almost every country around the world. However, there is a belief that establishing a world government is better than having each nation represented by its own governing body. I, nevertheless, deprecate the notion owing to the two demerits of a global government as follows.
To begin with, finding ideal leaders of the world's governing body proves extremely challenging. Since conducting elections simultaneously on a global scale with varying opinions about innumerable candidates is impractical, selected leading individuals risk being prone to strong opposition among a large number of ordinary people worldwide. Leading a global government also demands in-depth and well-rounded knowledge , besides the ability to deal with an enormous workload as well as to propose a rightful way of developing the world, and few people are able to meet all of these criteria.
Additionally, ruling the world with only one government causes international problems to be addressed largely ineffectively. To be more specific, really long period of time is required so as for the universal government to be fully informed of global issues in numerous areas and decide conclusively which problems need prioritising before any practical actions are allowed to be taken. During such delayed time, risks of the exacerbation of maladies are totally inevitable. More seriously, when worldwide issues are approached erroneously by this utmost powerful governing body, there is no other administrative organisation legally eligible to question the leading individuals' decision, resulting in the whole world suffering the aftermaths. This consequence is exemplified by the predictable decimation of the Jewish and escalation of racism in the case Adolf Hitler had successfully adopted cosmocracy.
In conclusion, I regard a world government as extremely disadvantageous rather than beneficial due to great difficulties in choosing well-deserved leaders and unproductive solutions to global maladies. Therefore, it is advisable that today's system of national governing bodies be maintained and cooperate responsibly with international organisations like UN, UNESCO or WHO to facilitate the development of the world as well as of each nation in stead of forming a new global government with inevitable downsides. | This is an extremely well discussed opinion. In fact, it is so well discussed for the most part that it appears to have researched references already that are not generallty commonly known to the basic person. Such a reference to Adolf Hitler and Cosmocracy is one of the questionable references in this paper as it pertains to the commonality of the information presented. Another questionable reference is the genocide of the Jews. Both of these topics are referred to at the end of the discussion paragraphs, without any supporting explanations for the chosen examples. In these instances, such brief references should be avoided to prevent the essay paragraphs from being judged as little developed. Both discussion reasons were strong enough, without these seriously researched based references that removed the validity of the public historical references.
While I can admire the effort the writer has placed into the development of this discussion, it is still, too long a presentation for a 40 minute task. The writer is over extending the discussion in an effort to gain a higher LR score through the use of complicated and advanced English words. In reality, the scores are better when the writer uses only conversational English word references. I am doubtful if the student can actually deliver the same caliber of writing during the actual test based on his performance in this practice essay. |
## the proportion of total expenditure in a certain European country
The line graph demonstrates the percentage of money used for food, leisure, clothing, transport, and fuel in certain European countries from 1960 to 2000.
Overall, almost all expenditure was decline. While people use the money for transport was rise.
In 1960, money was spent on food was highest (34%), followed by leisure with 18%. Over the next 40 years, the figure for food and leisure fall dramatically and reach the lowest point each, 14% and 11% respectively. Money consumption for transport was sharp growth and overtook food as the first rank in 2000.
Spending on clothing and fuel decrease slightly from 1960 to 1980. Over the whole 20-year period, both clothing and fuel stay unchanged around 5% and 4%.
* | Automatic failing grade.The mere fact that the essay contains 120/150 words and does not follow the paragraph formation requirement of a Task 1 essay ensures the failing score. This will be so even with scores assigned to the vocabulary and grammar sections. A passing score cannot be awarded for the C + C section since the image is evidently under analyzed and little discussed in the report.
An expanded presentation composed of 3 paragraphs is necessary for proper scoring. The exam taker was in a hurry to report on obvious data. He neglected to complete a proper analysis and comparison in the process. There should be 3 sentences per paragraph. The writer must review the content and formatting requirements for this task before his next practice session. |
*Please give me some advice on my essay. Thank you so much!*
Government should increase the cost of fuel.
**People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problem. Give your opinion.**
It is argued that the environmental issues could be alleviated by raising taxes on fossil fuels. Though I agree with this opinion, I believe that other feasible ways could produce more beneficial impacts on improve the quality of natural habitat.
To begin with, there are some reasons why citizens believe that the government should increase the cost of fossil fuel. Firstly, the authorities play a vital role in environmental preservation. By putting the rise in natural gas prices into action, inhabitants tend to choose public transport for cost-savings rather than using their own vehicles, and as a result, a reduction in transportation and any kind of journeys running on road will be made. In addition, due to the cost rised, government should have investment policies to develop and expand public transport with a view to encouraging people to take buses or train in lieu of driving. Secondly, freight companies might switch to other ways to deliver merchandise, such as rail rather than trucks. Both of these measures would cut down emissions emitted from vehicles, alleviate the green house effect and recover the fresh air quality.
In spite of the aforementioned arguments, I would concur with those who believe that some other potential measures can be added up to solve environmental issues. First and foremost, the government can introduce some policies to monitor the upcoming number of private car ownership. For example, Vietnam has proposed policies to raise taxes and urban road pricing for cars, with a plan to gradually increase the annual fee. Besides public transportation, the authorities should prioritize expenditure on environmentally friendly vehicles like bicycles, electric motorbikes or cars with a view to urging using green energy on citizens. As for the capital of Denmark, Copenhagen is considered one of the most renowned destinations for its cycling culture. Moreover, the increased use of alternative energy could reduce environmental degration from emissions produced from vehicles and assist in the endeavor to combat global warnming.
In conclusion, increasing the cost of fuel might be a useful stopgap measure in some circumstances, I personally believe that government should consider a long-term measure which could exert more beneficial effects on tackle environmental issues. | The writer does not use the correct replacements for certain keywords in the essay. Specifically, he uses "argued" as the alternative for the original " think". The synonym used is wrong because the 2 words have different, unrelated meanings:
Think - Elementary level verb; meaning : to have or form in the mind as an idea, conception, etc. can this case, it refers to an opinion)
Argued - Elementary level verb used with an object ; meaning : to state the reasons for or against (This cannot be confused with a thought / opinion )
The essay actually works well as an opinion statement. However, the writer has problems with word usage in relation to vocabulary and tense usage. |
**Topic:
## New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?**
People's way of living has been drastically changed, thanks to recent advancements of technology. This development also heavily affects what children nowadays spend their leisure time on. Despite some obvious benefits, this change, from my perspective, brings more harm than good to children's growth.
On the one hand, new technologies encourage children to explore the world within their house using interactive apps or programs, which visualize different scenarios, provide practical information and create online space for cross-nation connection. It is far easier than ever for them to spend their free time learning skills or reading books online. With the rise of social media, children have countless opportunities to connect and make friends with people across the globe, leading to a more joined-up world for future generations, especially in the context of global pandemic.
On the other hand, the more virtually connected children are, the more disconnected they get in reality. It is common to see a child gluing their eyes to the screen for long hours and become victims of addictive technologies. While relationships are believed to be best nurtured with face-to-face interactions, the majority of today's children spend more time in the cyber world. The addiction to technology is also closely associated with sedentary lifestyles and various health problems, namely eye-strain, headache or more severe issues like anti-social behaviour and depression. More recently, following the Covid-19 breakout, children practice school online, adding up to an average of 8 hours facing the screen a day, which makes the problem even worse.
In conclusion, the mentioned advantages are not as significant as their disadvantages. It is more advisable for children to spend their leisure time being outdoors and sharing great memories with their loved ones. Technology is for people by people. | more harm than good
The response is unrelated to the task. The focus is on
DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?
not harm or good. The created response is a topic alteration that will result in a failed accuracy score. Synonym usage was improper in this case. The writer chose to use incorrect alternative words. The essay now starts with a failing Task score.
The second paragraph does not disprove the opposing point of view as it should be doing. The writer himself fails to strongly support his own opinion. By using this equal discussion presentation, the essay fails to meet the "outweigh' requirement of the prompt. Only one side of the discussion should be highlighted. That should be related to the properly given . of the writer. This is a failing score essay. |
## My gap year essay - Pandemic, work, struggles and social service
After my high school graduation, I needed to overcome series of struggles. Due to Covid-19, no one in my family had a job and I focused on work to support my family during the Brazilian Crises. Equally important I spent a huge time working on my well-being before I decided to go to college, I started my therapy to overcome a case of sexual harassment, which today is already being resolved and dealt with, by the authorities.
Before my graduation, I was personally nominated by my technical teachers for a job position at X Enterprise, a bigger Italian distribution of solar energy. I've worked designing solar projects as a specialized renewable energy consultant. By working I could provide my family with a stable situation during the pandemic, at the same time I could pay for my own therapy.
Further, I invested large energy in opportunities to develop what I am passionate about, and start a parallel business. I could direct and lead a Design Team on Y Initiative giving classes for youngs in marginalized communities and Design workshops for the board. The experience increased my thirst to make and understand human connections, I attend international programs at Northwestern University and Yale University. Also, I took time to improve my artist portfolio in visual arts and illustration and sports I used to practice in school, such as tennis.
In the last year, overcoming a trauma, working harder, discovering my leadership, and making social service I become the person I would like to be 1 year ago. Confident, at peace with myself, and ready to take new challenges | Before my graduation,
Further
These do not refer to activities that you participated in during your gap year. The gap year references any and all activities you participated in after graduation but before enrolling in the next academic year. You should discuss activities during the academic year where you were not enrolled. The problem, is that there is a delicate topic that occurred during the off year. If you do not feel comfortable discussing it, then do not refer to it at all. Develop the way you spent a year in lock-down instract You will not be faulted for it.
I invested large energy in opportunities
Did this happen during the gap year? If it did, then this alone will make for an excellent singular focus for your narration. |
## FUND THE ARTS?
There are various opinions stating that the government's investments in arts wouldn't pay dividends. Personally, I completely agree with this point of view and the following passage would explain the reasons for this.
It is understandable why nowadays some people still advocate the development of arts. They might argue that arts provoke creativity and inventiveness, especially in toddlers or infants, and would pay dividends to their development. However, given the scenario of a sophisticating and modern world being formed, having intelligent and logical minds would be of greater favor. This is as facilities would be of state-of-the-art qualities and gadgets would get even more sophisticated and cutting-edge in the future, the operation of them could require greater knowledge and pragmatism rather than creativity should be given priority in terms of employment.
Furthermore, there are numerous aspects that would be beneficial and have a greater contribution to the well-being of a country than arts. For example, Vietnam was once an under-developing country but their shift of focus towards technological periodization and industrialization had been contributing greatly to the wealth of the South East Asian country. Botswana is also an exemplar in view of its policies to develop education and science rather than arts. As a result, the African country now possesses one of the fastest-growing economies in the world and is well respected by both regional and international neighbors.
To sum up, instead of funding arts, the government should invest more in other industries in order to not waste their money. | and the following passage would explain the reasons for this.
Presenting your 2 reasons in support of your opinion will serve as a score boost in the preliminary scoring stage. Do not waste the opportunity by simply presenting an empty thesis statement. Your logic and topic understanding in that sentence can help you get a higher overall score. Make sure every sentence used will move the essay forward with an intelligent discussion each time.
Good job in refuting a positive perception in the second paragraph. You have shown a strong skill when it comes to presenting a cohesive and coherent discussion. This followed through in the next paragraph. However, the 3rd paragraph would have scored better with a fully developed Vietnam based discussion. The Botswana discussion was weak and hindered the discussion progress.
For a better summary conclusion score, please use at least 40 words next time. |
## **The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.**
The given maps illustrate the modifications that were made to a city hospital's transport infrastructure in the 2007-2010 period.
Overall, it is apparent that there were some significant differences between the two layouts. These involved the intersection upgrade and the construction of bus and parking facilities.
The most striking change was the appearance of the two new roundabouts. While the first one was erected at the three-way junction of Ring Road and Hospital Road, the other one was built at the southern end of Hospital Road. The main hospital building, which was encircled by Ring Road, remained unaltered throughout the period.
Bus system and parking spaces also underwent some radical changes. In 2007, there were 3 bus stops on either side of Hospital Road. Three years later, these were obliterated to make way for a large bus station connected with the roundabouts. The parking area, which was once accessed by both the members of public and the staff, was later on separated as an exclusive public car park was added to the east side of Ring Road.
* | in the 2007-2010 period.
You misunderstood. The comparison does not cover successive years. These are 2 individual year changes. The reference comparison points should indicate the 2 years seperately.
The discussion paragraphs should therefore be presented by year. Discuss the original image from 2007, with specific mention of the year for image reference clarity. You may indicate which areas will be undergoing changes, without specific mention of how yet. That may be the focus of the 2010 paragraph instead.
It appears that you tend to use less analysis of the first image at all times. This lessened analysis also happened in your previous presentation. Aim for a balanced analysis for your C + C score benefit. |