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**QUESTION: *Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television.*** ## *To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?* Despite the availability of simultaneous broadcasting on television, some people argue that watching live events is still more satisfying. While the exhilarating atmosphere at those live events is undeniable, I maintain that recent developments in broadcasting quality are significant. On the one hand, the option to watch live performances such as a concert or sporting event is stimulating because people seem to enjoy the exciting atmosphere during these events. Live performances, indeed, give people a chance to interact directly with their idols as well as other audiences who are likely to share the same hobby and fantasy with them. Football and baseball matches play a good example here. At the end of the match, football players usually give away their shirts to their supporters or it has even become a tradition for baseball spectators to bring extra gloves to catch the ball given by players. Korean-pop enthusiasts chanting and singing along with the artists exemplify this precisely as well. Such moments, as a result, might be an unforgettable memory or a lifetime dream for plentiful individuals. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that watching the same events on television is more enjoyable which is attributed to current innovations in broadcasting service. These days, in order to attract more viewers, not only do televisions offer us simultaneous broadcasting but also an excellent view of the event recorded by high-quality cameras and professional reports which keep us updated without being disturbed by crowd noises. For instance, while live audiences can hardly understand anything due to narrow vision and noises, TV viewers can have access to detailed videos which are used in VAR technology during football matches to help referees come up with accurate decisions. Therefore, television broadcasting is widely preferred by viewers and experts who truly concentrate on happenings during these events. In conclusion, whereas live performances bring to us so much fun, I believe viewers who completely focus on the event would assume television shows as a more feasible option. Additionally, given the COVID-19 situation around the globe, live broadcasting seems to lead the dominant trend.

There are 2 problems with the prompt restatement. The first, is that the writer created a public argument where a basic idea was represented in the original prompt. There is no reference to the idea presented as a public opinion, or as a debatable topic. As such, it should have been reworded as a mere idea presentation alone. The second, is that the writer offers an opinion that does not meet the task opinion clarity requirement. The measured response, which was the expected response for that sentence, was presented later on in the discussion paragraphs, thus eliminating the correct opinion statement in the first paragraph. Therefore, the first paragraph may have difficulty in receiving a passing score based upon restatement and opinion considerations for the task. As for the discussion format, the writer incorrectly used a comparative discussion where a single opinion based on 2 supporting reasons was required. Unlike other essays that use the comparative format due to the indication of "discuss / compare both views", this essay merely asked for a single opinion coming from the personal point of view of the writer. Therefore, a score based on task format cannot be awarded in a passing manner. The writer should be aware of the differing response formats for the differing task writing instructions in order to provide an acceptable body of paragraphs for the examiner to score. In the conclusion, the writer also adds a totally new discussion topic at the end of the paragraph. That created an open ended essay as the new topic was not fully discussed and developed to the point where a proper concluding paragraph could have followed. Since there is no proper conclusion for this discussion, it may not achieve a passing score at all.

## ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION TOPIC **Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?** Given the alarming deterioration in the ecosystem, many individuals argue that governments are responsible for environmental preservation. While it is important for parliaments to take the initiative, I strongly believe that people's role in tackling these issues is indispensable due to their significant impacts on nature. On the one hand, it is undeniable that it is the responsibility of politicians to tighten regulations on environmental problems and take the initiative in this journey. Since they are given the power to make changes to the law, any of their actions would have significant impacts on the behaviors of citizens which directly affect the surrounding environment. For instance, if the Ministry of Environment applied strictly financial punishment on people who cut down trees illegally, they would be afraid and stop their crime. Furthermore, as politicians are considered role models for residents, them taking the initiative would raise awareness among the vast majority of people about the necessity of natural preservation. This can be seen in many Vietnamese new schools, when the city council sent a tree to these schools as a gift, it has started to influence students to grow more plants on their campus. Such small actions, as a result, might lead to considerable improvements in the environment in the future. On the other hand, an individual's role in solving this issue is part and parcel given their huge impacts on nature. This could be explained by the fact that apart from politicians, the rest of us make up nearly 100% of the world population. Consequently, even an insignificant action like littering a plastic bag, combined with tons of other bags being thrown away around the globe can devastate the entire ecosystem. In fact, the deterioration in the environment these days is also the aftermath of irresponsible exploitation and usage of natural resources as well as inhumane wars happening for centuries just for the convenience of humans' lives. As a result, only unity and precise awareness among every individual worldwide can resolve these natural issues. Based on the aforementioned points, while politicians can partly tackle the problems by tightening environmental regulations, it is mainly individuals' actions that have huge impacts on nature. I am also convinced that as soon as people are fully aware of their roles and willing to take serious steps, the environment would be improved. **387 words** AND WHICH BAND SCORE WOULD I GET FOR THIS ESSAY?

Why is the writer constantly changing the presentation slant of the original prompts? This is the second time that he has created an argument and debate where only ideas are presented in the original. These create prompt deviations in the prompt restatement section that will result in failing scores being given for inaccurate rephrasing. While he provided an extent response in the correct format this time, it will still not be considered because he did not respond to the original question being asked in relation to his (dis)agreement with the original prompt idea. Rather than clearly agreeing or disagreeing, he decided to strongly believe in the people's role within the issue. This is an error created by the incorrect arrangement of the sentence words. While it might sound prompt responsive to an ESL, it is not prompt responsive at all to an ENL. Again, the same problem with the response format. I will not repeat myself in this essay as the same errors exist as in the first one that was written. I can only hope that the writer will learn from his mistakes. He should not write more than one essay per day as he is seeking to have his work reviewed and corrected. Writing multiple essays that contain the same problems are a waste of his and the reviewer's time. He has also over written the essay. He will not pass when he writes almost 400 words, but does not properly respond to the question. He will still fail since he has shown an inability to follow instructions or write in an expected manner. Nobody has ever passed this test based on an extended word count alone. Quality and comprehension are scored in this test, not the word count. You may contact us privately for your scoring concerns.

Hello everyone, I am practicing writing and this is my essay, if possible, I would love to know my score on this task. Thanks so much !! ***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. ## Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*** Essay: Hosting an international sports event is an important thing which has to be prepared well. Due to that, many opinions exist. Firstly, positive views need to be talked about. When a country gets to host such a famous event, it will probably get well-known by other nations. And surely that can help the country a lot. For instance, governments and residents have a chance to use the opportunity to advertise their culture to foreign people. By doing that, the country's economy might increase sharply during the event. Besides that, it will satisfy some people's wish to meet famous sports players. They have a high rate of talking to their favorite players whom they really want to talk to once in their life. However, the risk of hosting a big event still exists, an important event is not good at all. That is why there is a debate about this topic. If a country can not be able to prepare for the event in a period, they have to do as many ways as possible to finish preparation on time, severe consequences may happen. The most obvious thing is that people attending that event will have a bad experience and are sure to make complaints. Which then affects the country's image. For example, in real life, Qatar is a country that hosts the 2022 World cup event, they have to rush to finish building a big stadium, over 6000 people sacrificed their lives for that. Hearing sad news, people around the world disagree going to Qatar to attend the World cup. The result is Qatar has been badly affected. In conclusion, from my perspective, hosting an international sports event is both good and bad, good things or bad things depend on that country's responsibility.

The prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation is not properly formatted in the first paragraph. Based on the original prompt, the writer should be presenting at least 3 sentences in this paragraph. It must individually respresent: - The first public opinion - The second public opinion - The writer's opinion These 3 sentences comprise the required information that will meet the task requirements for increased scoring consideration. In this case, the topic is presented, but the implications for each target audience is missing, specially in the personal opinion section. The writer does not understand that his personal opinion cannot be made a conclusion of this presentation. The personal opinion can be presented in only one of 2 ways: - As a representation of his opinion of each reason within the same paragraph. That is after the public opinion is explained. He may agree or disagree at that point - As a stand alone 3rd paragraph that supports one of the two public opinions. The stand alone explanation is part of the 3 reasoning paragraph option for this type of prompt. The concluding summary should only indicate a recap of the previous discussion, along with the writer's opinion as a closing reiteration. While the writing is not formatted properly, I am pleased to say that the writer at least understood the discussion requirements and showed a clear opinion of the topic. It is just that the formatting requirements were not appropriately met, causing problems with his scoring considerations.

## Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads. The bicycle has become increasingly common in many countries, a great alternative to reducing carbon dioxide footprint. It is argued by many people that there should be a test that bike riders need to pass before being available to travel on the streets. Personally, I believe that this idea creates more drawbacks rather than benefits. First of all, riding a bike is a simple skill that anyone can acquire after a few hours of practicing. Therefore, the idea of having a mandatory test for this vehicle's users is unnecessary. For example, a 6-year-old boy can ride a bike well after being trained by his father. Furthermore, the government will have to provide a large amount of money to execute this law, which is paid for the testing centers, extra police officers checking the riders' licenses. More importantly, it is reported that bike is one of the transportations that caused fewest accidents in the past few years, making money allocated for this proposal incredibly wasteful. On the other hand, due to the negative impacts of air pollution, people worldwide are highly encouraged to use bikes. Hence, this restriction will deter them from using this environmentally-friendly transportation. Suppose the test requires a heft fee or complicated procedure. In that case, people are likely to delay obeying the law, making it longer to be completely effective. Overall, the idea that requires bicycle users to pass a test is a fallacy because it will not only waste resources but also create more deterrents to using the bike instead of other less green vehicles. Instead, the government should put more effort into stimulating this vehicle's usage and ensuring the traffic system is safe for bikers.

Personally, I believe that this idea creates more drawbacks rather than benefits. There are several problems with this prompt restatement + opinion presentation. The first, is that the original topic is simply a one liner sentence that does not contain any of the opening remarks that the exam taker presented here. The personal opinion presented in the opening statement created an inaccuracy in the topic restatement and will be scored down. The second error, is that there is an inaccurate opinion presentation as the exam taker: - Incorrectly used and agree or disagree statement in the title (It is an extent response instead) - Incorrectly gave his opinion in an incorrect format (drawbacks v. benefits instead of extent of agreement or disagreement) As such, the essay has already recieved a failing preliminary TA score due to the inaccuracies presented. These opening statement errors are enough to fail the test overall due to the incorrect presentation format and lack of a valid opinion based on the discussion question provided. There is no need to review the rest of the essay at this point since the discussion is irrelevant to the given scenario.

***Memorization of information by frequent repetition, namely rote learning, plays a role in many education systems.*** ## To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Copying the context of textbooks frequently is common in a vast of education systems. Some people argue that there are a lot of advantages of it, while I completely believe that its cons are far more than pros and I will discuss it below. Studying, again and again, results in some excellent benefits. In particular, it has become a constant way that most students keep for so long. First of all, it gives our brain so much stimulation that we remember the terminology of our subjects, especially those professional ones. Secondly, nailing down a concept in certain topics takes more time than memorizing it repeatedly, which we could contribute to the other issues we might be interested in. Therefore, repetition for studying is effective compared to other ways. However, I hold the position that its shortages surpass what we gain from it. To begin with, what we usually ignore is that we will not forget the knowledge of particular fields if we coherently understand the heads or tails of them. Focusing on the importance of memorizing is totally impractical, as students even write down a huge amount of notes instead of figuring out the concepts. Furthermore, rote learning does not highlight applications. This means we might remember a large number of words theoretically rather than practising them in real life. In conclusion, there are undoubtedly lots of benefits of memorization for education. But I reckon they hardly outweigh the disadvantages. Any suggestion is much appreciated previously. I have a difficulty on writting for long.

Memorization is not the same as copying text. Memorization means"to commit to memory". It requires repeated reading. copying refers to repeated writing. Those are 2 different actions. This incorrect word replacement will lower the vocabulary score since it shows a problem with word meaning and an alteration of the discussion topic. There is a clear task inaccuracy in the statement. The writer incorrectly responded to the question as well. The discussion premise for defense has been supplied. That is the only discussion that should be present in the reasoning and opinion statement. By not using the supplied discussion basis, the writer has changed the discussion and therefore, not followed the task / writing instructions. This will result in a non-passing score even as points are partially provided due to an unrelated discussion presentation.

## **Every year several languages die out.** *Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?* Nowadays, it is true that the extinct of language is growing. Several people claimed that the extinction of some languages is not a crucial problem while others have others opionion. While I accept there are numberous advantages, the disadvantages are more significant. On one hand, if all of people use language together, there are a lot of opportunities to bolster economic growth. This indicates breaking language barriers connects people and let them understand others, facilitate business transaction . Therefore, residents discover golden opportunities to florish economy. For example, Singapo is a great example because Singapro allows English to be the first language. As a result, investors from others countries easily join to business in that country. On the other hand, reducing the number of language gradually leaves culture diversities at stake. This implies that languages are embedded by feature of culture such as custom, costumes, so on. Therefore, the loss of languages pays price by the lose of culture, resulting in a monotonous world. Second, selecting what languages is the most merit language triggers conflicts. This means that a host of debates of choose language which others are compulsory to follow never come to the end. Hence,wars are definitely able to happen all over the world . For example, recently, China forces HongKong to use Mardarin in stead of Cantonese. As a result, Hong Kong fights against China for protecting their language In conclusion, the loss of languages will definitely cause many unanticipated negative impacts on our lives. The government should consider about this problem and figure out to protect languages. 262 words

The essay will get a failing TA score and because of that, an overall failing score even though the exam taker completed the essay writing task. This is because he made a mistake in 3 areas: - Incorrect prompt restatement: A truth was mentioned rather than the rewording of "Every year", which is a central part of the discussion foundation. No explanation as to why the people are not bothered by the death of languages, which was included in the original establishing prompt. - Incorrect discussion response: A response to the question "To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement" was expected. Instead, the exam taker indicated a response based on advantages or disadvantages. The opinion presented is not aligned with the original question being asked. - Incorrect discussion format With the incorrect discussion response comes an incorrect discussion format. The overall reasoning presentation is not based on the given discussion requirements. Rather, the writer changed the discussion basis with his response and proceeded to respond in the same manner. It is no longer aligned with the necessary scoring considerations.

## usa marriages and divorces rates The first bar chart shows changes in the number of marriages and divorces in the USA while the second bar chart describes the marital status of American adults between 1970 and 2000. Overall, there were more marriages than divorces during the research period in the top chart. In the bottom chart, most people were married in both years, but the figure for single grown-ups was higher in 2000. In 1970, 2.5 million and 1 million people were married and divorced, respectively. The number of married people remained stable a decade later before hitting a low of 2 million in 2000. In contrast, the divorce rate peaked in 1980, at roughly 1.5 million but decreased to precisely 1 million in the last year. The percentage of married adults accounted for 70% in 1970 compared to 60% in 2000. This figure is followed by a group of unmarried people, with 20% in 1970 and around 10% in 2000. As for the widowed and divorced, the proportions remained below 10% in both years. (170 words) *

The exam taker can further improve the GRA score for the report if he makes an effort to use more complex sentences, with the correct punctuation marks indicated in the sentence. In the first sentence, the correct placement of a comma would have indicated a better merged idea within 2 sentences. The sentence, as a summary, is well developed, but lacks the additional punctuation marks for clarity and grammar accuracy. The data indicated is quite accurate and clear to the reader. However, an image indicator, would be useful. An image indicator clarifies which image is being reported upon in the paragraph. It should not be confused with an image positioner, which tells the reader where the image is on the page. Such positioners are unnecessary to the presentation. Overall, the student just needs to work on his punctuation usage for increased scores. The report itself is accurate and well within a word count that will result in a high score. The writer has done his best to focus on the quality of his writing, which is a scoring plus, rather than the word count, which is a scoring minus due to the errors it often forces the writer to make. In this case, the errors are limited and do not adversely affect the overall score as these are minimal in nature.

## climate change and economy As the weather worldwide is not as stable as previously, businesses based on agriculture and animal husbandry may suffer from unexpected challenges, while some entrepreneurs deem these changes as an opportunity and embrace and celebrate it. Personally, climate change, in most cases, impeding business flourish. Farmers are the most vulnerable group in terms of intensive climate variety. The high temperature and droughts bring both scarcities in crop yields and great loss in livelihoods, rendering the peasantry a helpless and adverse place. However, the situation is even worse for businesses related to mariculture when typhoons and Tsunami strikes. The ocean is both a blessing and a curse for human being especially those who live on it. On the one hand, the ocean provides various nutritious food supplies, boosting economic development as well as tourism. On the other hand, the moody temper of the ocean may increasingly swallow the mariculture industry and deprive tens of thousands of lives of innocent fishers. At the same time, the rising sea level and loss of green land due to global warming appear less attractive for travelers thus massively decreasing the profits of the tourist industry. In this aspect, the extreme weather that is accompanied by climate change poses a formidable negative impact on traditional businesses that rely heavily on nature environments. Climate change forces humankind to actively explore and discover new ways in face of these challenges. In other words, it fosters technological innovation and working pattern alternation, requiring not only climate change-specific skills in workers but also solutions to adapt to the consequences of the volatile climate. The transformation of energy resources is a good example to illustrate. After the prohibition of coal exploitation, solar energy has seen great proliferation. Besides, policy constrains greenhouse gas emissions, not stifling the vehicle production industry, but encouraging investment and dedication in researching electronic-based transportation. In conclusion, the opportunity brought through climate change fails to counteract the challenge it exerts on traditional business, yet the latter appears to be a more immediate and pressing issue.

The writer will do best to remember that he has only 40 minutes to draft, review, edit, review, proofread, and finalize the content of his discussion. These quality focused scoring considerations need to be prioritized over the word count. The current word count cannot be met within 40 minutes if the aforementioned review and editing requirements, which will ensure that he achieves the top score for his work, are to be accomplished. Remember, the word count is not scored. The score comes from the quality of the work. If you write a lot, but fail to conclude the essay in within 40 minutes, then you will still have a strong potential to fail the test. Focus on what is scored, not the number of words. Write another essay. One that is written within 250-300 words. Show me your ability to write in a focused manner. Keep it short, accomplish the writing quality within an appropriate word count. Then I can tell you if you will qualify for the test or not. Right now, the sentences in the presentation are badly written and the lack of clarity in the presentation could very well fail this test.

## the majority of local foods are replaced with the imported ones It is true that people in many nations are tend to use the product was produced in other country than the local product. There are several reasons behind this trend and the authorities could create some strategies to attract residents buy local food. On the one hand, there are two keys reasons why people preferred consumed important food rather than the food in their country. Firstly, the wide range of product was imported brought about the interest of people to try it. In other words, people have lived in the country for a long time, almost starting when they was born. Therefore, they used to familiar with the local and because of that, they are more curious about the new food that come from other nation. As the results, the amount of imported food was consumed has been increasing in some countries. Secondly, people tend to think that food was produced in other countries have better quality and it will have positive effect with their health than the local food. For example, in Vietnam, the parents have tried to buy milk come from other countries such as Korean, Japan, America or Australia because they think that product will be better for their children's grow up. On the other hand, the government should apply the new strategies to encourage people use the food was produced in their country. Firstly, the authorities could impose a plan lead the food company investigate and produced the food in a new way that can appeal the interest of residents. In addition, the food should to sell with other small product as a gift for the consumer such as a toy or they can received more food but paid for one product. Secondly, government should allow advertising has content about food appear on the TV or internet in many times and that advertising must be produced in an attractive way and each advertising for each kind of food should be aimed at a certain audience. In conclusion, there are some vital reasons explain why people preferred consume food come from other countries, some simple measures should be adopted by local food growers to meet this challenge.

The writer has shown a difficulty in the prompt restatement portion of this task. He has managed to string together some English words to create a sentence. However, the meaning of the sentence is unclear to the reader due to the improper word choices and sentence structureof the presentation sentence. In this case, the restatement score will be a non-passing one. The restatement of the instruction does not qualify as a response in this case as there are direct questions posed by the original prompt. The expectation of the examiner, based on the TA requirements, is that the exam taker shall present straight topic based responses for both questions, thus meeting the clarity of opinion scoring requirement of the TA section. So, without the direct responses, the score for this section will be severely limited. It is not the repetition of the instruction that matters because it does not help establish the ability of the student to follow instructions based on indicated fields of scoring. Avoid using memorized placement holders such as "on the one / other hand". These are considered class taught transition phrases that the student should have outgrown by the time he takes the actual test. His ability to use subject sentences to establish his point, by indicating a clear paragraph topic and its relation to his opinion would offer him the best scoring potential.

Hello everyone, I have just started practicing writing in order to take an IELTS test in the near future. Below is the topic that I have seen and written about. If possible, could you help rate my work and point out any errors or improvement points? ## **"Environmental degradation is a major world problem.What causes this problem, and what can we do to prevent it?"** It is undeniable that recent environmental issues have been a central topic in many international discussions. Human activities are said to be one of the major causes and with a joined effort from governments and their people, measures can be taken to mitigate these problems. Human being's constant demands for economic development and expansion by producing new products and goods have played a major part in the deterioration of the environment. To support these processes, natural resources are being unsustainably exploited at such a rapid rate that they cannot recover adequately. What is more, production at factories, together with exhaust gases from vehicles, produces a large amount of greenhouse gases and this causes serious air pollution. In addition, deforestation for farming lands and residential and industrial areas has reduced the earth's capability to absorb these poisonous gases. As a result, global warming and climate change have been pervasive over the world. Having said that, it is not impossible to improve the current status of the environment. Firstly, households and manufacturing plants can substitute fossil fuels with renewable and green energy sources such as solar or wind energy. Furthermore, governments should promote the usage of environmental-friendly and recyclable raw materials in production processes. They can, additionally, reduce taxes for companies that contribute environmental conservation. Lastly, people should gradually switch to using electric devices such as cars and kitchen ware because these are less harmful to the environment. To conclude, while it is clear that the environment is getting worse, there are certainly solutions that can be carried out to prevent further damage and make it better.

The essay shows your potential to give targeted responses to the given question. Being able to understand the prompt is the first step towards garnering a collection of positive scores for your overall final grade. So, the accuracy of your prompt restatement and word choices really helped you get a good preliminary score. There is room for vocabulary improvement overall as the current word usage is more in the elementary word choice bracket. Improving the vocabulary of your work, without going overboard, will also help increase your sectional scoring chances. It is also important that you use specifics in your opinion statements, particularly with the discussion focus that you will want the essay to take. When you are asked "What causes the problem?" Do not provide a general response like "human activities". That is a response, but not a specific response. By offering a clearer response such as "Use of single use plastics is a human activity that contributes to the problem by causing...", you get a better scoring consideration in the TA section since your response is tremendously clear when the question is considered. Offer a solution immediately after that is just as clear; "The solution to this is...." Overall, this is a good start. As an assessment tool, it tells me that you are capable of actually scoring higher than a 7 with proper guidance in terms of test preparation.

## nuclear weapons dilemma In this modern era, nuclear weapons are commonly used as a display of a country's strength and development all over the world. While many people believe that these powerful weapons are beneficial on a large scale, I completely differ on this opinion due to several reasons. The first argument given to support my belief is that nuclear weapons are so destructive that they could annihilate the whole city and put millions of lives at stake. According to experts, one nuclear bomb detonation is capable of creating a total absence of all signs of life in a large area. Furthermore, nuclear weapons have their roots in fatal illnesses and gradual deaths in the long term. Here I am referring to people contaminated with radioactive fallout. These people run a higher risk of contracting cancer and dying at a younger age. Take a look at the Hiroshima and Nagasaki case, numerous citizens nowadays are still suffering from the 1945 nuclear bombs' effect. Another point behind my belief is that it is a complete waste of money to invest billions in nuclear weapons and the citizens could hardly get any benefits from it. Instead of tackling ongoing issues such as the increasing rate of crime, unemployment, and poverty, the government places too much unnecessary emphasis on operating a superior nuclear weapons scheme. Moreover, with the detrimental effects of nuclear weapons, the authority has to once again finance an enormous amount of money for rebuilding, reconstructing facilities, and medical treatment in the aftermath. In conclusion, although it appears that nuclear weapons are such formidable tools that every country desires, I believe that the world would be better off without them.

Indicating several reasons is too wide a net to cast in a limited time essay. Aim for clarity and a stronger TA score by using specific reasons for your opinion. If uncertain, use only one reason to support your opinion, then explain it over 2 paragraphs. When certain, indicate 2 reasons for a higher TA and C+C score. Vagueness in presenting your opinion, by avoiding the shortened supporting reasons does not earn extra points. When presenting evidence, try to go less for historic evidence dating back to World War II as the effects of those have already been dealt with. A more appropriate response would have been how nuclear weapons are existing as helpful aspects of our daily lives, when the opposite is true. Refer to the Japan nuclear power plant meltdown that turned the power plant into a potential weapon of mass destruction, and the Chernobyl explosion, that proves even an innocent power plant can be converted into a nuclear weapon if one desires to. Go for more recent information to show that you are updated regarding current events. Overall, this is still a well written essay and has the potential to get an above average passing score. It is well developed and shows a high degree of education on the part of the test taker.

***Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. The demand for becoming a bilingual or multilingual has been dramatically increased in the recent years. While some people think that the sole purpose of learning a second language is to find a job or for a holiday abroad, others believe there are several more reasons for a person to do so. From my perspective, I relatively favour the latter for some reasons below. On the one hand, the requisite of numerous companies nowadays usually includes the ability of using at least one other language. In fact, globalization has clearly been popular recently ; therefore, the need for bilingual employees has as well grown. For instance, an IELTS certification seems to do wonders for employees to earn a job in foreign businesses or countries. The case is also somewhat true when it comes to travel, as it is quite a waste of money to travel to a place without knowing hardly anything about it. On the other hand, learning another language satisfies not only our physical needs, but also our moral needs. It is seems to be much more simple for us to communicate and make friends with a person if we are talking in the same language. Furthermore, when learning a new language, we can simultaneously know more about the culture and custom of the nation using that language. Hence, acquiring an extra language can rise our possibility to have more international friends as well as broaden our horizons. In short, it is, to a certain extent, true that many people strive to be a bilingual just to apply for a job or travel abroad; however, I think that it has not ever been and should not be limited in that border. Thanks a lot for your help! :33

The prompt restatement is acceptable although the first sentence is a bit out of place as it does not refer to required information coming from the original prompt. That is the writer's personal opinion and should actually not be present at all. The proper restatement should only have 3 sentences in it based on the original presentation. The rephrasing should always have the same number of sentences as the original since the information source does not change. Additionally, the personal opinion of the writer should not be vague in the personal opinion presentation. Deliver a clear response to the question. Since the writer already said he agrees with one side, the next scoring expectation is that he will indicate his single preliminary reason to complete the opinion + thesis statement. The presentation does not use the required General Reason Explanation + Personal Opinion format for the response. The lack of the proper response formatting created a personal opinion essay rather than a comparative public + personal opinion presentation. Since the writer knows what the public opinion is and why he supports or does not support it, then he should have done so in the same paragraph. Or, he should have presented his personal opinion as a 3rd stand alone paragraph. This essay will receive scores, but it will not be full scoring considerations due to the improper response formatting.

I just started learning to write essays and paragraphs for school. I would appreciate any comment, correction and advice on my writing ## **Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, or clean water.** *Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Write a paragraph, using specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.* With the uprising number of population, freshwater is gradually running out. There are a considerable number of reasons why water should be preserved. To begin with, water is crucial to every living organism on earth. About 71% of Earth's surface is covered with water; however, being one of the most valuable natural resources it is, only a fraction of the of which is freshwater. Up to 70% of the human body is composed of water. Not only is water essential to humans but water is also responsible for several essential functions within plants and trees, namely photosynthesis. Another reason is that water links and maintains all ecosystems on the planet. The more careful people use water, the more it is preserved in our ecosystems, which helps to keep wetlands habitable for animals. Á a matter of fact, of all ecosystems, no area is as biologically diverse as wetlands, which are home to a large variety of animals. In conclusion, while water is the most essential component of life, it is quickly disappearing. Therefore, water conservation is important to save life on our planet.

While the word "uprising" sounds right as it seems to insinuate an increasing number, the more appropriate term would be an uptick or an increase. An uprising actually has a more negative connotation and meaning as it refers to an insurrection or revolt, as in an increasing war. It does not mean an increasing number. Try to familiarize yourself with more English words and the meaning of each. That way, you will learn how to use the term properly in sentences that you develop. Remember, just because the word sounds right, it does not mean that the meaning is automatically applicable to the presentation. Correct meaning is more important than impressive sounding words. only a fraction of the of The what of the what? Kindly remember to edit your content before considering it to be a final form. Repeated words that do not make any sense or add value to the presentation will lower your essay scores due to lack of information or opinion clarity.

## INTERNATIONAL AID AND CARE **Question: Some people think that governments should not spend money on international aids if there are disadvantaged people like the unemployed and homeless in their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?** It is sometimes argued that less-developed nations do not need to contribute worldwide financially given the challenges of homelessness and the low unemployment rates. I totally agree with this idea and I believe that such countries could. dedicate themselves to other aspects. In my opinion, governments facing homelessness and unemployment are supposed to allocate their tax revenue to these problems rather than paying money to finance international organizations or events, Given that both the homeless and the unemployed are suffering and their basic rights are undermined, the authorities should prioritize these urgent issues so as to narrow the economic disparity among their country. Providing that such nations funded those international aids firstly, more financial burdens would be imposed on them. As such, they are unlikely to take steps to tackle homelessness and unemployment problems in the light of the lack of money. Despite the impossibility of aiding international organizations with funds, governments which encounter the aforementioned issues could give other countries a hand in other measures. Firstly, these suffering authorities could provide resources or information that they specialize in such as the technique of agriculture. As part of the world, it is favorable for those developing nations to exchange and share their useful knowledge. At the same time, they could participate in voluntary work to play a positive and beneficial role in the Globe. In this case, they certainly dedicate themselves to international affairs and do not add more financial burdens to themselves. To sum up, I do concur that some under-developed nations could save their funds on accommodating global issues, whereas they could support them in more practical and active ways.

When the original prompt refers to something that people think, it is not referring to an argument. The reference "think" indicates a thought or an opinion. An argument does not refer to thoughts. by definition "to argue" refers to to contend in oral disagreement; dispute. The difference in the word definitions make the word choice in the restatement inapplicable to the discussion. More appropriate alternates would have been assume, consider, feel, for starters. Using the wrong alternate word alters the original discussion target. It cannot receive a full task accuracy score due to incorrect word choice. could. Why is there a period in the middle of this sentence? This is sloppy writing and shows a lack of care in presentation development. The writer did not proofread before submission. This will receive point deductions due to inaccurate punctuation usage. There is no need for the writer to kick off his first reasoning paragraph with "In my opinion" since that has already been established in the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. Opening with a topic introduction would have been more effective in this case and increased scoring considerations instead. While there will not be any point deductions, it did not increase the scoring potential either.

## Annual outlook of a bank Facing the future, The Bank will continue to deeply implement the national financial guidelines and policies, deeply integrate technology and business, and accelerate the pace of digital transformation. It will continue firmly focusing on its market positioning and customer needs, being dedicated to the services of small, medium-sized and micro enterprises, enhancing the construction of distinctive banking and cultivating inclusive finance, striving to build The Bank into a trans-regional distinctive modern boutique bank with international financial background.

Do not repeatedly refer to "The Bank" throughout the statement. Consider using other references in relation to the function of the bank. Reference such as financial instution and lenders may be used, depending upon the subject of the sentence. Not only will it remove the redundancy of the presentation, but it will also allow for the clear presentation of an additional banking facet in the presentation. Based on the target accomplishments in the first sentence, a mention of a workable timeframe for the completion of these tasks would have added a much more hopeful tone to an otherwise monotone presentation that lacks any anticipatory elements. It fails to excite and interest the reader in its current form.

**The graphs above give information about the money spent per month by British parents on their children's sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period. ## Write a report of at least 150 words reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.** The average amount of money that British parents expended monthly on their progeny's sports in a seven-year period is revealed by the first given graph while the second supplied chart gives data on how much children took part in football, athletics and swimming from 2008 to 2014. At the first glance, it is clear that the charge invested in children's sport increased steadily each year as well as the growth of participants in three common sports. In 2008, the levels on spending on children's sport activities stood at 20 pounds, after that this figure rose significantly over the rest six years and peaked at roughly 33 pounds in the year 2014. Turning to participation levels, football had drawn by far the largest attention during the period, specifically the quantity of participants was approximately 8 millions in 2008 and then went up to 9 millions in the last year. Although swimming experienced a same trend, the figure for this sport was much lower with 2 millions children participated in 2008 but then rose gradually at 3.5 millions in the year 2014. Finally, the number of kids joining athlentics leveled off at 1 millions over the first two-year period, nevertheless the amount of athlete witnessed a remarkable leap from 1 to 5 millions between 2010 and 2012 then declined slightly by 0.3 millions in 2014. *

Always assume that the reader cannot see the image. That is why the writer is being asked to offer an accurate report. He is the only one who can see the image at the point of writing. The examiner is always assumed to be reading the report in a blind state. He is understood to not have a copy nor access to an electronic form of the image. These assumptions are the reasons why the writer should avoid mentioning any image position within the page. The position is not as important as the correct image type identification and accurate summary overview. There is a one sentence idea or description expectation per sentence. Avoid trying to explain everything in one long sentence. This will prevent a cohesive and coherent understanding of the sentence and paragraph presentations. There will be large GRA deductions when compressed discussions are used in place of properly developed individual sentences in the paragraphs. The report is incomplete in its presentation. The analysis needs to be fully explained within 3 reporting paragraphs, bringing the total presentation fo 4 paragraphs. The third paragraph is too short as the information is too compressed. Put extra effort into the analysis of the information presented.

## moving big businesses to remote areas It is said that relocating large companies to rural areas offers changes for better. From my point of view, I claimed that it bring more backdraws than benefits. Undeniably, replacing large factories may yeild considerable merits. Firstly, that companies move to remote places contributes the promotion of living standards in rural areas.In particular, local people will be provided job opportunities which give them chances to boost their income and improvements of their life qualities. Additionally, the relocation of companies probably enhances the development of local economy. To be specific, buiding large factories always accompanies with the construction of infrastructure and profitable investment, significantly which stimulates the production and trade with other areas. Therefore, the local market is likely to be expanded and diversified as well as local budget and profit may be sizably increased, which facilitates the weath of communities in this areas, Bac Ninh city for example. However, the move of large companies have detrimental effects in many aspects. In term of environment, large factories and massive production will cause severe pollution. That factories release toxic pollutants in the air or dump poision in the water drastically devastates the ecological systems and causes serious health problems. In addition, they need to accept the higher cost of transportation which leads to the rise in products' price and relieve their strengths compared to enemies. To be particular, remote areas are deprived of materials and services utilizing in process and far from potential costumers ;therefore, it is necessary to arise expense for delivery to guarantee the production. Finally, this changes may distort the lifestyle of local people. For instance, the appearance of large factories sharply promote urbanization and mordernization which stimulates people to focus on high productivity and lucrative profit rather than the beauty of traditional customs. In conclusion, regardless of strengths of this tendency, adverse impacts of it are terrible and foreseeable

Kindly review the original prompt and compare it to the statement presented here. There are several points of difference between the original presentation and the restatement in terms of references, focus, and reason that have affected the current presentation. This should be at least a 3 sentence presentation if it were to properly restate the original and offer a personal opinion with an acceptable thesis reference. Comparing the original prompt with the restatement is essential if one wishes to receive a high baseline score for the test. The first paragraph will not receive a score as it does not support the personal opinion of the writer. Rather, is confuses the examiner who will wonder why the exam taker is defending the opposing opinion instead of using 2 strong reasons to support his own opinion. The idea behind the prompt is to prove that the advantages are actually disadvantages. It is a written debate based on 2 opposite reasons in each paragraph. That means the writing format is: Sentence 1: Advantage Sentence 2: Why? Sentence 3: Should it be considered a disadvantage? Sentence 4: Explain Sentence 5: Present a supporting example in transition sentence form. As only the 2nd paragraph will receive a score for supporting the presented opinion, the essay cannot be given a score based on a properly developed essay. It is definitely lacking in correct reasoning development. The under-worded concluding summary did not help either. It will result in even more point deductions in the end as it is not composed of at least 3 sentences that offer a summary of the previous discussion.

## **Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polluion problems.** *To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?* In the era of industrialization, more and more vehicles get in use and create environmental matters to societies. I utterly opposed the increase in the cost of petrol suggested as a solution to the problems above given that will impact all walks of life in one way or another, and there is a better alternative to this daunting task. To begin with, pumping up the price of petrol or gasoline tantamounts to greater chances of poor people becoming poorer. Logistics and supply chains will suffer from a divergence in price changing that makes all the costs from any products rise. For example, an industry that is close to any level of society like Food and Beverages will demonstrate an upward trend in the money that customers have to pay due to the increased fee in shipping by trains, trucks, or ships. As a result, the lower class will have to purchase their basic needs at a higher amount of money than usual. However, electric vehicles might be an ideal solution for the high traffic demand and the atmosphere. There is a breadth of means of transportation that do not require gasoline to be activated. One clear example is Tesla's products, the pioneer in producing and manufacturing electrical products in the United States with the ethical purpose of reducing the reliability of humans in petrol power and starting to endorse vehicles run by electrical power to save the environment. Sometimes, the decline in the frequency of searching and taking crude oil to produce gasoline might lead to environmental harms like oil spills. Therefore, laying off the usage of gasoline vehicles to one's used electricity is a better solution. In conclusion, with higher money paid for petrol, humans will suffer the most in every aspect of their lives, especially at the lower level in society. And, replacing traditional gasoline interdependence vehicles with electrical ones will significantly contribute to a cleaner environment. Hey there! Thanks for reading, please leave your comment below, your feedback will help me improve my writing skill.

The writer has not relayed an accurate prompt restatement based on the original prompt. He has offered a statement based on his own opinion, which is not related to the task, therefore, making his prompt restatement invalid. His opinion is also not very clearly specified as it does not connect to the information from the original presentation in an understandable manner. He has failed to make the prompt restatement + personal opinion coherent. Thereby failing in 2 sections of the test, within this paragraph, immediately. Now, while the reasoning paragraphs make better sense than the prompt restatement, the statements are over written. The 320 word count provided here cannot realistically be met during the actual test. The writing also shows that the exam taker is trying to pass the test using only word count instead of coherence and cohesiveness in the presentation. Over-explaining does not help because it causes run-on sentences, which will result in GRA deductions due to forced errors in the presentation. It is always better to write no more than 300 words, with a focus on clarity, rather than exaggerated but pointless references as the current presentation often ends up doing.

## Task 2: the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? In the previous time, a range of people used to live in rural areas where they knew each other clearly. In spite of some drawbacks of living there, I strongly believe that its benefits outweighed the negative side. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that life in the countryside had some disadvantageous factors.To begin with, it was difficult for us to access modern and convenient living. We had to travel long distances to go to the supermarket, hospital or service center that were easily found in town or city. Moreover, due to the lack of companies and factories, the economy was also affected or developed slowly. As a result, we were limited in choosing jobs and expanding our social networks. However, there were also many advantages of living in small villages. On the other hand, settling in the countryside brought a great deal of benefits. Firstly, thanks to the peaceful and fresh atmosphere, our health was ensured well. The reason for this was the low rate of transportation that directly exhausted fumes and smoke. Secondly, the spirit of community was enhanced and promoted. In any hard situation, the residents willingly helped and supported each other regardless of poverty or wealth such as fire, ill or boring stories. Finally, due to the small population, the local government could keep control of the security and maintain the safety for life of inhabitants. In conclusion, despite some disadvantages, living in the small community was preferable because of its positive sides.

The minimum word requirement for the task 2 essay is 250 words. There are only 249 words provided in this essay. Though it is only one word short of the minimum, the examiner is still going to apply a minute deduction to the essay as the writer still wrote less than the minimum word requirement. Bear in mind that there are preliminary deductions that can be applied to the score, and these usually relate to word count. While it may not cause a failing score in this case, the exam taker would still wish to avoid any sort of deduction that may have a score lowering effect in the overall consideration. This is not an opinion essay so the writer is not supposed to offer an opinion within the thesis statement. Rather, the essay asks the writer to merely offer a general insight into the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, without adding a personal opinion to it. Why? This is one of the general discussion types of essays that is offered in the task 2 test. Though the exam taker will not surely be given a similar topic in the actual test, it is best that he learn to write in various forms, just to be prepared. The format that was used for this essay is not acceptable as it does not meet the original prompt requirements. There is a prompt redirection due to the personal opinion presented. Additionally, the concluding summary requirements are not properly referenced in this essay either. There is no summary and the paragraph is less than the 40 word requirement.

## Task 1 - a survey ***The pie charts show the results of a survey conducted by a university on the opinions of full-time and part-time students about its services*** The two diagrams give information about the rate of students' pleasure of some supported-studying services in a university. Overall, most students in that school rate very pleased with the two mentioned services, yet, only the support of technology was reported just roughly happy by students. In terms of the supplement of electrical devices, more than a half of full-time students rates super impressed, while the figure for those who study part-time courses just account for 20%. For the average rates for just little happy, there are 45% of the part-time students, who are higher than the full-time ones by 30%. And for the unhappy rates, it was seen nearly similar amount in both students studying full-time and part-time class with 31% and 35% respectively. Moving to the expansion of study hours, there are both considerable percentages in two groups of students, who are highly appreciate with this service, with 87% and 72% for full-time and part-time pupils one by one. However, the number of people who report little pleasure in full-time classes stands for just nearly 12%, which is fewer than studying part-time by 11%. The last dislikes this service, barely account for a tiny fraction. * *

Actually, the image reference used is not appropriate. There is no diagram presented. Rather, 4 pie charts have been provided for the report. That means, there should be a total of 4 paragraphs presented. Each paired image gets one reporting and analysis paragraph each. The word count should total no more than 200 in this case since there are only 20 minutes provided to write the complete essay. Kindly be careful when identifying the image as that is a part of the task accuracy requirement. The wrong image identification will immediately cause an error in the information presentation that will affect the truthfulness of the presentation. The report must not mislead nor misinform the reader. It will be a cause to fail the test. The essay also suffers in terms of word accuracy. The terms used are either not referred to in the image or, incorrectly identify parts of the report. These repeated errors will further add to the definite failing score of the essay. The writer should focus on his vocabulary at this point. Though the effort is identifiable in the writing, effort is not scored in this test. This is a failing essay.

## chosen activities in two countries The bar chart illustrates the percentage of youth's favorite pursuits in two nations in 2007. Overall, the children in Australia spent more time in outdoor activities, while New Zeleander were supposed to prefer indoor activities. There are approximately 28% of playing sports, which activity was mostly loved by Australian. Next, more than 10% of Australians are delighted in visiting parks. The third most popular hobbies were DVDs and playing computer games, which both are equal at 15%. The least pursuits were reading book, and art and craft, which accounted for about 10% and nearly 8%, respectively. With regard to New Zeleanders, the highest rate of children prefer art and craft, up to 25%. The following activities were books and watching videos, which both accounted for about 17%. A quarter of young people enjoyed playing computer games. The least popular were going to the park and sport roughly at 13%. *

Beware of spelling errors most specially when it comes to the citizenship reference. The examiner will be deducting points for every spelling error of any sort. It is evidence that a draft was submitted for scoring since no proofreading was undertaken. Remember that failing is scoring sections can result in an overall failing score in the end. Whe indicating the measurement ratios, always remember to indicate who it refers to first. This brings the sentences into proper structures based on information clarity. The subject always comes before the verb. Descriptive wordssuch as "are delighted" should be avoided as that is a personal assumption and is not part of the actual image presentation. Straightforward reporting without opinions or alterations are best.

## ***The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location.*** Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. The given diagram shows how a wave-energy machine is designed and where it can be located. Overall, the wave-energy machine is used to generate electricity and the location options are different due to its cost and output. As can be seen from the diagram, this machine includes 2 main chambers. The wave first travels into the lower chamber of the machine causing the water level to rise and then create an airflow. This airflow goes to the upper chamber and makes the turbine begin spinning. At the same time, another turbine is rotated because the air from the outside flows into the chamber and puts atmospheric pressure on the water. This process generates electricity for people on the land. The location of the machine depends on the cost and output. The nearer machine to the land is installed in an area having a small output which also requires a lower cost to install, while a machine located in a high output place needs a high installation cost *

The given diagram This is a singular reference to an image. Yet, you describe 2 images in the summary, creating a an irregularity in the singular versus plural reference. Please note that you wrote: shows how a wave-energy machine is designed and where it can be located Therefore, the numerical reference of your opening sentence should be in plural form (diagrams) or in numerical form (2 differing images). You cannot open with a singular reference and close with a plural reference. That said, you did an acceptable job of referencing a trend for both images though. As can be seen from the diagram Which diagram? This is precisely why you need to clearly identify the differences in image references and use these as a part of the anchor sentence of the reporting paragraph. This unclear reference will cause confusion for the reader who has to read further to get a clear idea of what you are speaking of. You could have said "*In relation to the procedular diagram (image 1)"* and offered true clarity to your image reference.

## benefits of electronic devices to the learning process Students can derive substantial benefits from the application of electronic devices to the learning process. One of the most viable advantages is the financial benefits. In other words, with the assistance of electronic devices, the expenses of studying can be reduced. This is because electronic gadgets such as smartphones, laptops, computers, and so on are now crucial tools to access the Internet. By accessing the Internet, students may exploit various sources of information without charge. To exemplify, free online dictionaries such as Oxford Learner's Dictionary or Cambridge Dictionary have been widely used in recent years. Another benefit worth mentioning is that electronic devices can help facilitate the transmission of knowledge. Thanks to the aid of advanced electronic devices, many innovative methods of teaching have been created. Compared to the obsolete use of blackboard and chalk, modern technology-based lessons are more enchanting to students. For instance, using computers and projectors in class may give provide students with better illustrations of the lesson, hence better memorization and comprehension. In conclusion, with the help of electronic devices, students cannot only save their money but also improve their performances.

When speaking of electronic devices in relation to learning, it will be best for the writer to specify what these gadgets are and these are useful to or help enhance the learning process. The general descriptive word can be used in the introduction, but specific references should follow. Though there is a word limitation when it comes to writing, that does not negate the need to use paragraphs in the presentation. Paragraphs are part of English writing fundamentals due to the ease it brings to writing where clarity of thought and explanation focus are essential. The learning discussion based on electronic devices was eventually lost in favor of the use of the internet in learning. Those are 2 different discussion aspects. It removed the focus from the electronic learning instrument discussion. However, the blackboard explanation is an essential part of the discussion. It was right to give it a specific mention.

***In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Due to free online reading, it is believed that printed newspapers or books will not be purchased in the next few years. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement and will outline some reasons in this essay. On the one hand, online reading brings a lot of benefits to readers. First, online reading is extremely convenient for people. If the reader only has a smart phone, tablet, or laptop that has the ability to access the Internet by wifi or mobile data, they can read any news, magazines, or books at any time. Second, online reading nowadays is usually free on social websites. Thus, people who read books or newspapers online will save money on their daily expenses by not buying and updating information daily. Finally, using the Internet to read books and newspapers could protect the ecosystem. In particular, a regular TV news program in Vietnam used to mention that the amount of wood that was used to make paper to serve the newspaper industry each week was a ton. Therefore, the increase of online reading newspapers will lead to a decrease in the amount of wood used to create newspapers and save a lot of trees. Nonetheless, printed newspapers and books have advantages that online reading does not. Firstly, there are several datasets that will not be uploaded on the Internet, such as graduation theses and scientific reports. Thus, to read this data, the reader needs to either buy it or go to the library to borrow it, which means it is not able to be read online. Secondly, taking books or newspapers by hand will create a real emotion and be more interesting than reading them on the screen of a phone or tablet. For example, Pham Nhat Vuong, a top 30 billionaire in the world, shared with a journalist that he could find a lot of information on the Internet, but he still enjoyed reading it in printed books. Finally, books and newspapers are a type of hobby collection that cannot be replaced by online reading.Many people have an interest in collecting famous books or newspapers and exhibiting these things in their houses, something that online reading is unable to do. In conclusion, although online reading could bring a lot of benefits as mentioned above, purchasing printed books or newspapers will still exist in the future and cannot be replaced for some of the reasons mentioned above. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement.

The question is "to what extent?" Therefore, the writer must provide 2 sets of information for his opinion response. 1. The strength of his emotional support for his opinion 2. The reason for his heartfelt response. These 2 sentences are what will recieve a complete score. The current opinion sentence has 2 faults that will result in a partial and non-score respectively. 1. Incomplete opinion statement. The degree of support is missing. 2. Invalid thesis response. There is no topic reason provided as the opinion basis. Further deductions will apply based on the improper discussion format. A comparative essay is presented when the task expectation is that of a 2 supporting reason presentation for the writers opinion. The task requirements have not been pproperly met in the reasoning and concluding summary paragraphs. Expect a failing score.

## Building your own computer instead of buying: Is it worth it? Computers and other electronics are arguably the most important invention of human history to many people. These devices started out as large machines and can now fit in the palm of your hand. User-friendliness of them has caused an explosion in popularity the last 50 years or so. Today, you can buy many different kinds of electronic devices and computer from the internet, the store, or you can even build your own. Some people would argue in recent times that building your own computer would be better and more cost-effective than buying one that is already assembled like most people would. There are many different factors and circumstances relating to these inquiries and this question is important to many people (Glawion, 2021). It is debated between many that building your own computer is a task which is fiscally responsible and beneficial to people who use them for demanding tasks but not your average user. Learning the skills needed to do so also may not be worth the effort or time taken to do so to most people. The true question is this; Is it more cost-effective and appropriate for most computer-users in the year 2022 to build their own computer or buy one which is already completed and ready to utilize? Personal computers began to become available in the 1970's and started to rend and become popular in the 1980's. Since then, the uses of these devices have proven to be truly unlimited and have enhanced every day life for every person on this planet in some way, shape, or form; no matter how minimal it may be. For some, this invention is a staple of their lives and allows them to become successful and accomplish many given tasks. Many devices are technically computers even though you personally may not realize it or see how. Some of these include modern cellular smart phones, modern smart televisions, modern vehicles, calculators, appliances, street intersection signals, and a plethora of others. It is likely surprising to some persons just how involved these devices are and truly how much technologies impact them. All of these aforementioned devices are constructed of many of the same materials and pieces together to form their unique hardware. The most important component of any computer no matter how large or small is the processor. This part is essentially the brain of the entire operation and can think for itself in order to solve problems no matter how complex they may be (Grey, 2018). Another important piece is the random-access-memory (RAM). This memory can remember certain tasks, answers, or operations and temporarily store them so they can be accessed again sooner without the processor having to think about it again. One more piece that is important, especially in today's data-driven world, is the hard drive or other storage. This piece can store large amounts of data permanently in the forms of files, executables, and abundant other formats. Lastly, the graphics card is something used on many devices, but not all. If the piece of technology being driven has a screen or physically displays any information, it must have some kind of graphics processing hardware. Capitalism is something that has fueled the race to enhance computer hardware and software as well as made them abundantly available to the average person and consumer. This is why this industry of technology has flourished in the United States of America, because innovation is the key to success in business ventures for the most part. In today's world and recently in the past, you can literally just walk into any store that sells computers or other smart devices and just purchase it if you wish to do so. Another option is to construct the computer yourself from all the raw components. You can custom buy and build personal computers with the exact parts and performance from the unique components that you wish for, depending on your intended usage of the machine (Alcorn, 2022). There may be drawbacks as well as advancement you may gain from doing so as well, it all depends on your purpose for building. Current events in the world have a profound impact on the pricing and availability of personal computer components, some more dramatically than others. The Covid-19 pandemic led to a worldwide shortage of many materials and products in stores, especially in the United States of America. The effects of this shortage and pandemic are still being felt today and computer components are one of the most affected items due to this. Some reasonings for this include worker shortages as some became sick and could not work; factories all of the planet even shut down as certain points in time. Some places even went to working from home as much as possible which in some cases reduced productivity of items in factories and other manufacturing industries. The effect of this is that the prices of many computer components were significantly raised and some continue to be heavily raised today (Price, 2020). Crypto currency and crypto mining are something which both took a heavy toll on the already short availability of many necessary computer components. Essentially, digital forms of currency have become very popular in the last few years. One of the methods for obtaining crypto currency was to "mine" for it on a computer system. In short, the process for this involved using a computer with heavy and fast hardware to compute block of data which produced crypto currency. The most important component for this process is and was still the graphics card (Fitzpatrick, 2017). As a result of this, even today, the prices of graphics cards are affected the worst. Prices for these cards today are often up to 300% of what they were sold for commonly only a couple of years ago. This card coincidentally is also the most sought-after piece of hardware for video game enthusiasts, video editors, model renderers, and many other provisions. Many of these end-users have begun to hoard these pieces of equipment and even scalpers have taken the opportunity to do so as well. They sometimes buy these parts as cheap as possible then sell them for an incredible markup to others who were not so fortunate to come into possession of them. This in itself significantly raises the prices of building your own computer, especially if you are doing so to play video games or accomplish another hardware-intensive and demanding task. Generally, it is more expensive to build your own computer than to purchase one. Gathering all the necessary components to complete such a task is more expensive and much more time-consuming than simply going to the store and buying one or ordering one online. The upside to this is tat the performance of this computer will likely far exceed most machines that you can purchase from any store (Brant, 2020). This will net you much improved performance on those aforementioned demanding tasks like video rendering and modeling. For those, the time it takes to put a video together or visualize a model or graphic will be much shorter on a better machine. For video games, you will achieve significantly more frames per second (FPS) on your screen. Essentially this means that the video you are watching and manipulating on the video game will appear to be much more smooth and less jagged and have a higher visual high-definition resolution. In order to obtain the skills necessary to build a computer yourself, it could take years of research and practice. The best way to do this is widely regarded to be watching video tutorials on YouTube. You could also hire a corporation or person to complete this task for you once you have chosen your desired components for the desired performance you wish to achieve (Parson, 2017). The average person likely does not use their computer for demanding tasks, they only use it for things like checking E-mails, surfing the internet, and potentially storing files. So, the time and effort it takes to build a powerful personal computer machine is not necessary. One could compare it to a non-car enthusiast trying to custom-build their own vehicle instead of just purchasing one. It does not make sense for most people but for the minority who are into things like that, it could be very desirable. In summary, this process of research and construction of your own personal computer is absolutely worth the time and effort; however, only to a minority of people. The average person would not benefit to this or save any money compared to purchasing a lighter-performance machine themselves. Any person who has hobbies online or on a computer with any kinds of demanding tasks would benefit from this area of study and expertise. There is a very high-risk and high-reward topic and the reward is only necessary to some and would remain unused by most others. References/Bibliography Alcorn, Paul. "AMD vs Intel: Which CPUs Are Better in 2022?" Tom's Hardware, Tom's Hardware, 5 Feb. 2022, tomshardware.com/features/amd-vs-intel-cpus. Tom's Hardware is a computer hardware review and information website. It has been informing users of new technology since it was started in 1996. The create both articles as well as informative videos and reviews. The author of this article Paul Alcorn is an employee who has written many reviews and editorials related to technology within Tom's Hardware. I believe the source is knowledgeable and correct, I located this source by searching for articles about AMD vs. Intel processors. Written in this article is numerous reasoning for and against using both Intel and AMD processors for your computer builds. It showcases benchmarks, speeds, and other unique features of each related chipset. Brant, Tom. "SSD vs. HDD: What's the Difference?" PCMAG, PC Magazine, 2 Sept. 2020, pcmag.com/news/ssd-vs-hdd-whats-the-difference. PCMag is a well-known website and magazine that has been publishing since it was created in the year 1996. They create numerous different kinds of multimedia entertainment and reviews about the newest technology of all kinds from computers to watches and cell phones. The author of this article Tom Brant is a deputy managing editor for PCMag and has been doing so since 2015. I believe the source is knowledgeable and correct, I located this source by searching for articles about the correlation between RAM speed and quantities. A summary of this article would be that it entails two different types of data storage hardware applications for computers. These two are HDD and SSD, it talks about how one is faster than the other and superior but more expensive. Also, how the extra expense may not be worth it to some end-users. Fitzpatrick, Jason. "Beginner Geek: Do I Need a Graphics Card in My PC?" HTG, How-To-Geek, 12 July 2017, howtogeek.com/268899/beginner-geek-do-i-need-a-graphics-card/. HTG is a multimedia group which produces numerous different digital products in the form of articles, videos, and other kinds of multimedia publications. Mostly in the form of self-help guides, it drives people to do things on their own all over the world. Tutorials and informationals are their specialty. The author Jason Fitzpatrick helps other with technology tips and career building help. I believe the source is knowledgeable and correct, I located this source by searching for articles about graphics cards and why they are necessary in a computer build. For a summary, this article entails what a graphics card does and why it is a necessary PC component. It shows why more expensive and more powerful cards are necessary in order to run video games and other demanding tasks smoothly and effectively. Grey, Jess. "Want a Better PC? Try Building Your Own." Wired, Conde Nast, 4 Apr. 2018, wired.com/story/how-to-build-a-pc/. Wired is an American magazine company who has been active in the technology industry since 1993. Since technology has evolved, they have covered it and adapted to it. They are now one of the leading technology websites with information on numerous different categories and new gadgets. The author Jess Grey is a Portland State University graduate and has been a reviewer of technology and current events for years. I believe the source is knowledgeable and correct, I located this source by searching for articles about building your own PC. This article entails basic reasonings and opinions on why you should build your own computer. It also explains how to do so step-by-step in a very basic manner. In addition to this, it recommends some specific hardware for your computer. Glawion, Alex. "Is It Cheaper to Build Your Own PC?" CG Director, CG Director, 18 Dec. 2021, cgdirector.com/cheaper-build-own-pc/. CG Director is an online company which specialized in starting conversations about the newest technology. They write articles from several researchers and writers. In addition, they have several online forums where users can start conversations with each other themselves. I believe the source is knowledgeable and correct, I located this source by searching for articles about building your own PC. In this article, it is debated whether building your own computer is right for you. It also essentially outlines that doing so is not for everybody as it can be difficult. Also, that it may not be necessary or cost-effective for you, depending on what you utilize your own personal computers for. The author, Alex Glawion, is a professional 3D-artist and hardware expert. He writes articles for CG director and creates short films which have won numerous awards. Parson, Aaron. "Difference between a Motherboard & Processor." Small Business, Chron.com, 21 Nov. 2017, smallbusiness.chron.com/difference-between-motherboard-processor-69303.html. Chron is an online business for other small type business as a guide in order to assist with their technology usage and other areas of improvement. The author of this article, Aaron Parson, has been in this industry since 2006 and specializes in computer software and video games. I believe the source is knowledgeable and correct, I located this source by searching for articles about motherboards and the functions as well as differences of them. The main theme in this article is the general consensus of what a motherboard does and how it functions. Also, the facts of how it differs from a processor and how they work together in order to form a common-goal completion. In addition, it tells how different motherboards can have different and unique functions such as USB-C inputs and other unique features and qualities. Price, Dan. "Faster Ram vs. More RAM: Which Is More Important for Performance?" MakeUseOf , MUO, 29 Sept. 2020, makeuseof.com/tag/more-important-faster-ram-more-ram/. MOU started in 2007 and is a website dedicated to teaching new users of technology about them. Their end goal for users is for them to become technology experts with factual information and user preference reviews. Dan Price is the write of this article and has been doing so since 2014. I believe the source is knowledgeable and correct, I located this source by searching for articles about the correlation between RAM speed and quantities. RAM speed and quantities can vastly affect how a computer functions. This article basically details the why and how of this portion. It also shows how RAM works and why it is necessary in a modern computer utilized for numerous different tasks both light and demanding.

Since the title of this paper focuses on building computers versus buying one, there is no need to confuse the reader by referring to other electronic devices or gadgets. It casts a wide discussion net and contradicts the title of the paper. Keep a narrow topic focus for clear discussion purposes and easily identifiable discussion topics. It is important not to cite any information in the first paragraph since the topic is merely being established. In fact, the citation is so simple, I cannot understand why the writer thought if necessary to include the statement at that point. It did not add extra ordinary information to the presentation that would have improved the paragraph. \* Limited review provided due to the length and varying review requirements. Reach out to us privately regarding a thorough review process.

**Prompt: *Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.* ## To what extent do you agree or disagree?** It appears to some people that it should be made obligatory for adolescents to partake in public-oriented activities, while others declare their disapproval of the idea. From a personal standpoint, I am partly in favour of this. On the one hand, it is irrefutable that students involved in those voluntary work are capable of deriving some significant benefits at first hand. Firstly, these are occasions that students are destined for experience and knowledge accumulation. Namely, on going to sanatoriums to visit elders, they get a chance to receive some know-how tutorials about diaper renewal or cooking. Moreover, these are also considered to be wholesome recreational activities which both efficaciously help participants to get their second wind after successive stressful schooldays and concurrently equip them with necessary skills that are not included in mainstream education. Culturally viewing, these works are also communally well-intentioned. For example, on commissioning teenagers to clean up their neighbourhood, not only can they learn about trash classification, but also the betterment of environment status is brought about. Nevertheless, social services can be time-consuming and energy-draining; thus, teenagers might be sidetracked from schoolwork. Additionally, teenagers from impoverished households or disadvantaged communities have bigger priorities such as to support their family income and their living conditions rather than committing to voluntary work. Requesting community services as a must for teenagers is a double-edged sword. When teenagers do community work voluntarily, their actions stem from pure intentions, and the most rewarding thing for them is the pleasure of creating values for others and the pride of displaying their independence and hidden abilities. Whereas when teenagers do community work under compulsion, the simple joy has dissipated, the obligatory so-called "social work" has become less appealing and a burden to some. The bottom line of the argument is that the benefit of unpaid community work is dependent on the individual. Community work brings precious opportunities for teenagers to work and give back but requires responsibility and effort.

adolescents Adolescents are from the age of 10-12. Teenagers cover the ages of 13-19 years. Incorrect word choice and wrong usage in a sentence. while others declare their disapproval of the idea. This is a failing prompt restatement. Even as the personal opinion is correctly stated, the wrong topic interpretation is what will cause substantial deductions in the TA score. The pleased selected to present above improperly represents the original statement as this idea is not a part of that topic presentation. it is irrefutable There are those who will refute this claim. Do not make statements related to unchangeable facts in a comparative discussion. It causes disbelief in the statement on the part of the reader. The bottom line of the argument Nice concluding reference. It offers variety to the memorized conclusion openers. However, the concluding summary is still focused ona new topic presentation. As the proper reverse paraphrase is missing, the essay is open-ended. An essay without a proper conclusion often recieves a failing score due to task format and discussion inaccuracies.

P/s: I'm a newbie here so I hope everyone could help me find out and fix my mistakes in my essay. If you could show me the band of my essay, it would be great. After all, thank you very much for spending time reading my essay <3 \^^/ ## the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012 MY ESSAY. The given picture compares the differences and transformations of a small cinema between 2010 and 2012. Overall, it is obvious that the theater witnessed remarkable developments with more cutting-edge. Looking at the picture in more detail, behind the auditorium, it experienced an expanding space with the relocating of the storage from the left to the right side in 2012. In addition, the media replaced the storage so as to give way for the hall's appearance while the theatre was upgraded with the building of the showers next to the media. To the South part of the cinema, it was increased in size for the restaurants to emerge on the left-hand side in order to attract more customers. In 2012, the admin office was relocated near the auditorium and the ticket office was opposite the restaurant, where the cafe used to be located. *

The given picture compares the differences and transformations There is a problem with this sentence structure as " picture" is singular, yet the related descriptions for the comparison are in plural form. This indicates that more than one picture will be involved in the review. singular references must be maintained in the presentation, and plural forms should also be maintained. singular and plural references cannot be used as a mix or alternatively in any sentence. with more cutting-edge. More cutting-edge what? Where is the additional description ? The sentence thought presentation is incomplete? Cutting-edge is meant to describe something ultra modern. since this is just a simple descriptive report, do not use exaggerated words in the description. Expand the descriptive paragraphs to 3-5 single idea sentences to gain a better C+C score. \* Contact me privately for band scoring.

## CAMBRIDGE 10 WRITING TASK 3 The bar chart illustrates what students did after finishing their graduate and postgraduate - excluding full-time work- in United Kingdom's college in 2008. The bar chart was measured by the number of graduate and postgraduate students. Overall, from the bar chart, it was clear that the highest destination for students graduates and postgraduates was further study after their graduations. Meanwhile, the lowest destination was voluntary work. As shown in the bar chart, the study further was chosen by 29,665 graduates student and 2,735 postgraduates students and become the highest chosen destination after they are graduated. The part-time job came next chosen by 17,735 graduates. The number of postgraduates students who chose part-time jobs was almost similar to the number of postgraduates students who chose to study further with 2,535. Meanwhile, the number of students being unemployed after graduation was 16,235 and 1,625 for graduates and postgraduates students respectively. Meanwhile, students showed less interest in voluntary work after they were graduated with only 3,500 and 345 graduates and postgraduates students respectively joining the voluntary work. *

The bar chart illustrates The writer must reference that there are 2 images provided for the comparison. That is because the information for the graduate and post graduate students are presented in seperated Columnar (rather than bar) charts, or columnar bar charts (for clarity) if you will. Otherwise, the comparison will not make sense as the image in question is not presented as comparative line charts. the bar chart Again, differentiate to create clear explanations. Separate the chart information in the discussion based on the image presentation. These information cannot be made to sound as if they came from one image alone because there are 2 images provided. The grammar score and word usage score for this test will definitely be in the failing range due to the writer's inability to properly word and form his explanatory sentences.

## SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY - IELTS Writing task 2 **In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?** Compared to the authorities, private entities nowadays seem to play a more prominent role in financially supporting and carrying out scientific activities. Although some might argue that this sort of studies should be conducted by the government, I would contend that the involvement of private corporations in the scientific field brings more benefits rather than drawbacks. On the one hand, it is true that privately funded scientific investigations could exert several adverse impacts on society. While the rationale for the government's part in undertaking research is finding solutions to societal issues and improving the welfare of all citizens, private enterprises are more predisposed to profit motive. Therefore, results produced by these companies may be deliberately manipulated in order to maximise revenue. In fact, there have been numerous notorious cases regarding new products which are launched incautiously after inadequate trials. Furthermore, without governmental supervision, the excessive participation of big businesses in sensitive areas such as genetic engineering or nuclear military power would pose serious threats to the community. However, since the scope of scientific activities is extremely diverse, I do believe that private companies can obviously do research which is not carried out by governments. It is undeniable that countless scientific breakthroughs have been represented by independent institutions and conglomerates. To cite an example, by developing new COVID-19 vaccines, Drugmaker Pfizer Incorporated has undoubtedly contributed remarkably to the global recovery from devastating impacts of the unprecedented coronavirus pandemic. Besides, encouraging individuals and the private sector to conduct scientific experiments would promote healthy competition and stimulate innovation in the marketplace. The public therefore can enjoy greater benefits from the latest inventions and better products. In conclusion, despite entailing some risks, privately sponsored scientific research offers people enormous advantages. Of course, it is also important to explore strategies for designing multi-sector research collaborations that can generate reliable, high-quality results. For that reason, I suppose that this would be a positive movement provided that the government can scrutinise these private experiments in a thorough and efficient way. PS Hi there, thank you so much for reading my essay and leaving comments so that I can improve it. I hope you guys can give me an estimated score because I'm gonna sit an IELTS exam this March. Have a good day!

Compared to the authorities, The writer has included a private observation as a part of his topic restatement. This is unacceptable and shall lower the TA score. Considered a topic deviation since this claim is unsupported in the original claim, the writer cannot recieve scoring consideration for this sentence. Only the 2 original claims should be clearly and seperately restated in the first half of the paragraph. Although some might argue I would contend The restatement paragraph required only these 2 thoughts. Each thought should have been represented in 2 thoroughly developed sentence idea presentations. Missing from the paragraph are the 2 related topic thesis sentences to complete the paragraph requirement. On the one hand However Incorrect discussion format. The question to be responded to is : Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages? The response to which should have been presented in the following formation over 2 paragraphs: Sentence 1 : Disadvantage introduction Sentence 2: Explain the disdvantage Sentence 3: Reason it is actually an advantage Sentence 4: Explanation of the advantage Sentence 5: Example that disproves the disadvantage This is an opinion paper, the writer must defend his stance without indicating both sides are correct, or that both sides have acceptable reasons for being. Since he is asked only for a single response to the question, that is what he must convince the reader of. He must never contradict his first opinion as he risks confusing the readers regarding his true opinion. The result of which is a failed TA and GRA score due to lack of opinion clarity and statement confusion. \* Email me privately regarding comprehensive scoring services.

## **Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?** These days, people are surrounded by marketing and commercial activities. Views differ on the implications of advertising, but I would argue that there are both positives and negatives in equal measure. On the one hand, one of the negative points of advertising sector is the widely population of false and misleading advertisements in some forms of media. For example, in order to promote sales, some food and beverage businesses are willing to adjust illegally the proportion of ingredients written on product packing to fit within the allowable limit. As a result, the customers who consume these products might be affected negatively and increase the risk of health problems and other diseases. Moreover, the persuasive intent of marketing practices could encourage people buy more than their real needs. It is no more waste of money for consumers than buying goods which is not proper for their using purpose On the other hand, apart from these drawbacks above, marketing and commercial activities also bring a wide range of benefits for society. Firstly, only thanks to advertisements, can customers be kept informed about newly-launched products. In other words, they are aware of the array of selections available to their demands; otherwise, they are confined to only a narrow range of products. Secondly, it is undeniable that advertising campaigns make significant contributions to increase brand awareness. Therefore, companies are able to approach prospective customers, promoting temporary sales and capturing more market share. On a large scale, advertising serves as a bridge between manufacturers and customers, giving rise to the consumer society. In conclusion, the development of businesses has given rise to the growing number of advertisements, and this trend is, in my opinion, advantageous as well as detrimental.

I would argue that there are both positives and negatives in equal measure. The problem with this response isthat it does notmeet the task accuracy scoring requirementas it applies to the discussion. There cannotbe an equal measure discussion since that is not provided as a response option. The writer can only choose from the provided answer choices. Any choice not within it is a task deviation that will automatically recieve a failing score. This essay is not going to pass as the writer has shown himself to be incapable of responding to questions based on simple choice options. The test requires the student to prove that he can perform simple discussions in written form, based on a provided format. By altering the discussion instruction and not choosing from within the specific 2 choices, to create a single opinion, based on the original prompt, the writer does not accurately represent the required topic restatement + personal opinion format. The scores are provided based upon how well you follow instructions and choose a response based on the provided outcome results / choices, not how you create your own discussion instruction and outcome results / choices. These are obvious problems and will show that you will not be inclined to follow the teacher's instructions in a classroom setting. If you cannot follow instructions because you want to go your own way in the response, maybe because that is how it works in your local schools, then you are not ready to study in an foreign setting.

## The population of Chile by age group between 1975 and 2035 The line graph gives information about Chile's demographic from 1975 to 2035, categorized according to their ages. Overall, the 15-64 years group has a percentage far surpass than those of the other though at present or future. The proportion of the youngest group has been declining and is expected to keep doing so. In contrast, that of the oldest one has been expressing an opposing trend. From 1975 to 2015, the graph for oldest people was characterized by a 2- stage upward trend that comprised a slight increase in 1975-2005 and a sharp one in 2005-2015 peaking at 10%. Opposing trends were observed in the others as the number of 15-64 years group increased sharply, peaking at 70% in 2015, and that of the youngest one decreased by roughly 16%. In the next 20-year period, only the oldest people's proportion is expected to keep rising by approximately 15% in 2035. However, the two aforementioned graphs are projected to reflect the downward trend but at different paces, with the former and the latter respectively reducing from the initial point of 60 and 17 %. *

from 1975 to 2035, An incorrect word equivalent usage is present for the word "between' from the original presentation. The alternate words could have been: In the midst of bounded by midway There are always keywords provided in the original that will test the LR and skills of the exam taker. The word "between" was one of those extra scoring words for the LR section. In this case, the exam taker lost points rather than gained points. Aside from the word usage concerns, the writer also shows a problem with thought clarity in relation to the cohesiveness and coherence of his paragraphs. He always combines 2 sets of information in one sentence, causing an overly long sentence whose content is not easy to track due to the extremely long sentences. Since there is a maximum 5 sentence allowance per paragraph, he should strive to present the information clearly in specific and individual sentences as opposed to compressed sentence and information presentation. Such confusing sentences will definitely lower the GRA score of the student.

***The charts below show the percentages of the water used in different sectors in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 2007**.* ## Summarize the information by selection and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The diagram compares the proportion of the water in 5 different purposes: service industry, building industry, household use, manufacturing, and food industry in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 10 years later It can be observed that there was an upward trend in the percentage of water demand in the food industry, manufacturing, and building industry, while there remain categories followed an opposite trend. In addition, the food industry had used water more than other sectors for 10 years In 1997, with 48%, the figure of water in the food industry reached the top rank in the surveyed list, followed by the water consumed in households at almost 20%. This figure for service industry and manufacturing was between 15% and 13% with the higher in manufacturing. The last-mentioned sector was the building industry with 5% and took the lowest position. In the next 10 years, the water used in the food industry underwent a marginal drop by 8%, however, this category still dominated the list and the least stills building industry at 2%. Besides, the total amount of water in the service industry and household use was approximately higher than food industry (25% and 21%, respectively). The statistic slightly decreased in 2007 and ended with 11%

The charts below The diagram In terms of synonyms, the writer chose the wrong word equivalent for the chart. A chart is not the same as a diagram. By definition the difference is: Chart - a sheet exhibiting information in tabular form or a graphic representation, as by curves, of a dependent variable, as temperature, price, etc.; graph. Diagram - a figure, usually consisting of a line drawing, made to accompany and illustrate a geometrical theorem, mathematical demonstration, etc. Based on the difference in word meaning, the word equivalent chosen is incorrect and will cause definite LR score deductions as the writer shows that he is not capable of using a word within the correct meaning. The summary overview cannot be scored highly due to the confusing information presentation. It neither coherent nor cohesive since it is combining several seperate idea sentences into one run-on sentence. The result of which will cause a failing GRA score. At this point the writer has already ensured that his essay will receive a failing score, regardless of the content of his reporting paragraphs.

## Tabard Tower Theme Park The chart illustrates changes in the number of monthly visitors to Tabard Towers Theme Park in the preceding year. Overall, the number of tourists followed a gradual rise in the first three months and dropped steadily in the last four months. However, the period between June and October showed the most vital data in the graph.( paragraph 1) The number of travelers grew in equal steps in the first three months, from 30,000 to 50,000 visitors. Although there was a faster increase to 70,000 people in May, the number of tourists plummeted to the lowest point of 20,000 attendances in June. The figures subsequently rocketed by almost doubling data in the next month before declining to 79,000 visitors in August. September witnessed a remarkable ascent to a peak of 140,000 tourists. In the last three months, the number of people who paid a visit to Tabard Towers Theme Park went downhill consistently by 20,000 people each month.( paragraph 2 )

The chart illustrates I cannot say that this is a reliable description of the provided image since the writer did not upload the image guide with the report. It guves me a sense of inaccuracy for some reason. I need to see the image to be sure. preceding What year was this? Is the writer sure it is a yearly reference? The uncertainty comes from the lack of year mention overall. There is only a monthly / quarterly mention presented. The task 1 essay normally has 3 paragraphs comprised of the summary + data report. Though the writer wrote more than required, he will still lose points due to the missing paragraph. The report should have been spread over 2 reporting paragraphs to meet the requirement.

***Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Nowadays, the fact that the young spend most of their free time going shopping can be considered negative for themselves and also our society. To the best of my knowledge, I strongly approve of that statement for those reasons that will be discussed below. Advocates of this base their arguments on the fact that being for more than one hour at the shopping malls can make teenagers waste much money on unnecessary commodities. Due to the attractive arrangement of goods in the shops, most people would be encouraged to pay for whatever they are impressed with and those are usually not essential. According to some reports about trading, people, especially women who go to the shopping malls buy up to seventy-five percent of things that are not needed because of the announcement as well as their appearance than those who go shopping online. As a result, it has made common thinking in others that shopping too much is usual even when they do not have enough money for living well. Moreover, instead of wasting money meaninglessly, they can use that money for helping other people. Up to this year, the COVID 19 has made millions of people unemployed and homeless, however, others who can still earn living spend their time and money more and more on shopping. For example, the homeless can afford for their eating and many young people still buy food to use only a half. Thus, It is not a surprise that the gap between the rich and the poor is bigger, the rich are still rich and the poor are still poor. To sum up, going shopping is not bad but young people should only consider shopping as a hobby and limit the time that they go. Likewise, they can use their free time and money to help those who are needed.

the young spend most of their free time going shopping Going shopping and spending their free time at the shopping mall are 2 different activities. The writer was confused by the phrase much of their free time at shopping malls This could mean any activity ranging from shopping, going to the game center, watching a movie, and a host of other activities. It does not automatically translate as "going shopping". While that is the common thought that comes to mind when one hears of a shopping mall, the reference should have been more in general reference as in the original. For example: "spend most of their free time doing activities at the mall." This would be more aligned with the original statement of spending free time at the mall. The writer has thus, misrepresented the original thought and its subject reference. for those reasons that will be discussed below. The writer provided a clear statement, but did not provide any topical reference to support his claim. The supporting topic subjects mentioned at the end would have provided a clear thesis statement in support of his opinion. Doing so would have concretely established his opinion as needed for the strength of this paragraph restatement. teenagers waste much money on unnecessary commodities. Again, the discussion reference focuses only on shopping as the discussion point. The activities that the mall goers spend on are varied and expansive. The writer must not focus only on shopping because th at is only one of many activities. Rather than a focused discussion, this should be a general discussion covering various mall activities instead. This is a weak argument due to the incorrect focus. The second paragraph is more acceptable in the social sense. The problem with this presentation is the sudden change of discussion focus with the closing sentence being : It is not a surprise that the gap between the rich and the poor is bigger, the rich are still rich and the poor are still poor. That is a totally unrelated reference point and should not be included in the discussion. It alters the discussion topic from the original. going shopping Again, the focus is not on shopping but on spending time at the mall. The test taker has misunderstood the requirements of the discussion.

## About Thomas alve Edison life and about his work and how it became famous and about Jefferson Thomas alve Edison was born in milan Ohio , Thomas Edison unveiled the phonograph - wich reproduced sounds by means of the vibration of a stylus following a goove on rotating disc . Jefferson one of the inveter useing ac machercor electricity and Thomas alve Edison is useing dc catcher electricity . In december 1877 . Invention time by time it became more and more famous then ever , and soon it into worldwide prominence dubbed the wizard of the menlo park . Edison early year in 1854 sumuel edison became a light house keeper and chaperenter fort gratiot military post near port huron , michigan . where the family live in a substantantial alve, as a invention was known until his second marriage , entered school there and attended spradically for five years .He imaginative and inquistive , but ,becaues much intrustion was written and had difficulty , an avid and omnivorous reader . Edison lack of formal school was not unusual . American attended school a total of 434 days . Edison die on october 18 , 1931, in west New jersey

Kindly review the statement for capitalization errors. The writer has not provided capitalized words as required when presenting nouns in reference to the names of people and places in the presentation. These errors are very obvious from the very first sentence that was presented in the paragraph. The paper is supposed to discuss the life of Thomas Alva Edison but fails to do so beyond his birthdate and place of birth. These do not comprise a reference to his life, only the location of his birth. The discussion of his life should show his development as a person and as a scientist by presenting pivotal points in his lifetime. The paper is filled with spelling errors and punctiation errors. The writer is making errors that he should have been conscious of since these are the basic grammar lessons provided to ESL students. He has not made an effort to write properly nor informatively in this statement. This is a failing exercise. By the way, there was supposed to be a discussion about Jefferson as well but there is no such information present in this piece. So the presentation will also fail due to incomplete information presentation.

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your opinion. In recent years, the expectation of life from all over the world has risen significantly; therefore, this passage will discuss how older is essential for younger generations and the problems of overpopulation. However, the benefits seem to outweigh the drawbacks. The increase in life expectancy is beneficial for several reasons. First and foremost, it is claimed that the longer people live, the more experienced and wise they are. After a long and continuous period of studying and working, the elderly have an opportunity to learn skills and knowledge that are valuable. Therefore older people can pass down their life experiences to younger generations, which makes the world more developed. Secondly, another benefit of living longer is that elderly can work or do volunteer with the view of devoting more to society. For example, my 65 years old uncle is still doing voluntary work as a teacher in a mountainous area. On the other hand, it is undoubted that the rise in life expectancy also results in some drawbacks. A longer lifespan would be a burden on the shoulders of the government. For instance, the General Office For Population And Family Planning organization has announced that 2 billion VND had to be added to cover the medical insurance of people above 60 in the past 15 years. Moreover, overpopulation would be a big concern for developed countries. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against the rising lifespan, but I firmly agree that the increase in the length of life may bring more advantages than its disadvantages. Thank you for your feedback.

The prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph cannot receive a passing score. The examiner will be highly confused by the word usage and grammar representation in this paragraph to the point where he will be confused and doubtful about what the writer is trying to say. This text is nowhere near the meaning, expectation, and presentation of the original statement. This failure will be enough to limit the passing ability of the rest of the essay. It has handicapped the writer's score as his essay has already failed the first aspect of the sectional scores. Nothing in the original prompt refers to overpopulation and "older is essential for younger generations" (whatever the writer thinks that confusing passage means). The writer has included subjects for consideration that are not supported by the original prompt presentation. The restatement + opinion presentation will get the lowest possible score ( failing / non passing) for that paragraph, thus pulling down the other scoring considerations. I firmly agree that The writer also failed to provide a third reasoning paragraph that explains his opinion regarding the topic. There is an under developed essay presented along with a severely off topic first paragraph. The writer has too many errors in the TA, GRA, LR, and C+C sections to receive even a baseline passing score.

**TOPIC: Some people believing that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Others believe that it is getting easier. ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.** The question of whether living in major cities is gradually becoming more and more convenient or not has never failed to attract the attention of society for a long time. In this essay, I will try to discuss both viewpoints before reaching my own opinion. On the one hand, there are many reasons why having a life in big cities is such an advantageous way of living and can bring various merits to people. Firstly, living in urban areas tends to provide residents with a number of job opportunities. In this way, the aims in people's lives would likely become more and more plausible to pursue and acquire, which is due to the fact that it will help people ensure their career paths, boost their egos, and take hold of their ways of living among many others. Besides, these days, there are several sorts of job choices that can be suited to people from all walks of life, from blue-collar work to white-collar jobs, which potentially plays a significant role in resolving the unemployment issues. Secondly, there is a wide range of services, which is a result of how society is deeply changing day-to-day due to various advanced developments. It's clearly signified that versatile kinds of services have now arrived in our daily lives. For instance, even one of the most trivial tasks, including booking a taxi or ordering food, can now be easily carried out without any doubt. Furthermore, it is also indisputable that thanks to these services which have helped people reduce the burdens from the hustle and bustle of cities, their lives are thoroughly improved in many aspects. On the other hand, living in the era of urbanization can put people into struggling situations with a number of hardships. First and foremost, one of many alarming issues that people in large cities have to deal with is pollution. Broadly speaking, urban areas have seen a significant rise in the number of breeds of pollution. For example, air pollution, noise pollution, and so forth. These significations of urban life would not only slowly and gradually devastate and contaminate the overall environment but also have enormous effects on people's health in an adverse way. Besides, the more sufficiently the services are supplied nowadays, the higher the living costs are in general. It's due to the fact that compared to life in smaller cities, there is a variety of living expenses that make residents' lives are far more disadvantageous to be met demand such as education spending, hospital fees, and so on. Moreover, instead of putting all efforts into settling in large cities, people can try to stay in a self-sufficient way of life in minor cities or suburb areas, which doesn't cost a deal in living and help residents be able to establish a greener and more eco-friendly lifestyle. After considering all the facts, I would agree that although living in big cities has some prominent downsides, it still remains essential for people to go in search of life-changing experience and acquire better living conditions in those cities.

I will try to discuss both viewpoints before reaching my own opinion. While you can opt to repeat the writing instructions at the end of the paragraph, that will not get a score because it does not meet the requirements for the scoring elements in that paragraph. Remember, it is called the "topic restatement + personal opinion presentation". The other keyword being "personal opinion". Therefore, after presenting the 2 public opinion in a rephrased form, the 3rd or last sentence of this paragraph needs to be your clear personal opinion. Why? The task accuracy score for this paragraph is reliant on the correct restatement and the clarity of your personal opinion. Simply repeating the instructions for the discussion does not meet this specific paragraph requirement. After considering all the facts, I would agree that The task 2 essay does not allow the writer to present a response to the question in the last paragraph. This is because the last paragraph is used only to summarize the topic and reasoning paragraphs that were previously presented. The personal opinion must be fully developed as a stand alone paragraph, completely explained. The lack of a proper summary conclusion paragraph could very well result in an automatic failing score for the test taker. An additional error is the approach to the public opinion presentations. Due to the lack of proper referencing that makes it clear that the public reasons are being considered, those 2 paragraphs come across as a part of the personal opinion of the writer. Creating a comparative discussion of the personal kind where a comparative discussion of the public kind is actually required. The format is: Public opinion + explanation + personal opinion in consideration of the public reasons = Agreement / Disagreement That discussion format will avoid the need to write 3 individual paragraphs as the writer will be presenting a personal opinion each time. It is a stronger form of personal opinion discussion as a personal opinion for each stance is provided.

## BOOK CLUB GRAPH ANALYSIS The graph shows how much money book clubs received from a city council and The number of club members over four years. In year 1 ,there were 6,000 club members and the money The city council gives to Book clubs was 20,000 Between year 1 and year 2,there was a slight decrease in club members from 6,000 to 5,000 However,in the same periods The money The council gave to Book clubs increased slightly In year 3,the club members rose sharply.there was also a dramatic increase in the amount of money The council spent in book clubs.It peaked that year at £40,000.In year 4, The number of book club members continued to rise,Reaching a peak at 12,000 members,The Money The book clubs received from the Council fell by £5,000. Generally,there has been an upward trend in the number of book club members, even though less money was given to clubs in year 4 *

The graph The image identification is somewhat correct. it is somewhat correct because the image shows 2 types of graphs within. A continuous line graph and a dotted line graph. Each image type should have been identified to help differentiate between the information provided. It will also help properly divide the paragraphas in the reporting area.The reader will be able to create a proper mental picture of the measurements as provided in the original, should the original image not be provided to the reader. As far as proper writing rules are concerned, the writer has a problem with his word capitalization. He tends to provide capitalized words where it is not necessary, thus reducing his GRA score due to an obvious inability to follow English writing rules. He uses capitalized words inconsistently in this essay. The formatting of the paragraphs are also off. Perhaps the writer wrote this on a mobile device rather than a laptop or tablet. Having done created incorrect paragraph presentations which would result in a failing GRA mark and an overall failing score in the end.

## Teenager Depression: The truth untold According to the World Health Organization, by 2020, more than 264 million people will be suffering from depression worldwide. Adolescents aged 12 to 17 had the highest major depressive episodes (14.4%). What factors have led to this issue, and how can people reduce the severity of teens' depression? Recently we have been living in a society with pre-set norms. Young people are informed to be role models that respond to common real-world demands about what they look like, what they have to be, and how they behave. For instance, people assume that girls are considered beauties with slim bodies and fair skin, which is the beginning of the issue called body shaming. As children grow up not to be portrayed on social media or to resemble their peers, they feel different, self-deprecating, and culminate in teen depression. Last year, researchers found that, on average, 94% of teenage girls and 64% of teenage boys have suffered from image shaming on the internet. Besides, the school environment is also one of the factors leading to depression in teenagers. School is not only a positive setting for learning and growth but also a place where teenagers struggle to keep up with the heavy workload, pressure of achievement, and stress of exams. The great frustrations and beliefs about academic ability can lead to depression in teenagers. The Paper cites statistics from The Economist, which show that China's teen suicide rate ranks first in the world, of which the cause due to school pressure accounts for 26%. Depression can be seen as a fever. It starts small and then builds up over time till getting worse. That is why people should be aware of it as soon as possible.

Recently we have been living Since this is supposed to be a general reference article, it is important that the writer maintain an unbias point of view in the presentation. It is more advisable to use third person pronouns rather than first person pronouns when presenting information in this case. The objectivity of the article has to be clear to the reader, by keeping the personal point of view out of the discussion. suffered from image shaming on the internet. Which has led to what sorts of depression in teens? There are several types of depression that should be indicated in this article based on the degree of studies that have resulted from the basis of body shaming. Try to mention and discuss a few of these depressions. The essay stopped midstream. There is no reference to solutions, which was indicated as one of the article topics at the start of the presentation. You need to provide additional research to complete the article. The information presented is actually a bit superficial and lacking in professional references, which makes it only a draft and outline rather than an almost complete article.

## Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses ***Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?*** It is obvious there is a gender gap in the numerous occupations in today's society. However, some remain with the opinion that females and males are born to have differences in terms of their vocational preferences. From my perspective, I disagree with the idea of excluding a certain gender from an occupation. On the one hand, it is undeniable that a vast majority of jobs require gender. It is mainly due to their biological differences between men and women. Specifically, women are considered more caring and nurturing by nature, therefore they are suitable for nurseries as well as babysitters, while men predominate in construction, mining or logging because of their physical strength. In this case, the gender gap still remains at some point in the future. On the other hand, making occupations open to both genders brings a wide range of benefits. First, different genders may bring into new views, which can generate the possibilities of the development and the success of the business or tackle ongoing problems. To illustrate, female police officers may have a wide understanding of domesticated violence and provide effective strategies with a view to dealing with the problems. Moreover, it is evident that a mix-gender working environment is proven to be more efficient. As a consequence, two genders can have a better performance and the business could benefit from this efficiency. To summarize, although some occupations require gender, males and females now have the freedom of vocational choices . The business facilitating the equilibrium may have advantages on innumerable aspects.

I disagree with This is the writer's personal opinion regarding the given topic. A clear disagreement with the given points. This is supposed to be the foundation of the 2 supporting reasons. The writer misunderstood the discussion format and used a comparative discussion where a single opinion defense was required. 2 reasons in support of the defense. The way the writer presented the reasoning paragraphs creates an uncertain rather than certain opinion, creating a large deduction of points due to lack of opinion clarity. The clear writer's opinion is negated by the evidence and reasoning paragraphs/ presentations. Of the 2 paragraphs, only the 2nd weak paragraph supports the opinion. That will recieve a partial but non-passing score. The discussion error becomes even more evident as one that will lead to a failing score based on the improper concluding summary.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. ## scientific information - available or not? We are living in the era of technology which changes so quickly every day. This is because most of updated achievements are shared to public in many manners such as scientific research, business and the academic world. However, some argue that information should be limited to access. I personally believe that people need to approach latest data as much as possible. On the one hand, sharing information anticipates society developments. In term of science, results uncovered from some findings could be solutions for other fields. Consequently, this helps save not only money and time but also labor force. Additionally, established academic lessons assist students have opportunities to catch up contemporary data, which is beneficial for those who are preparing for their thesis. For example, block chain technology is applied thoroughly in various kinds of industry. By scanning bar code, customers are able to verify all information about the food that they consume, including the origin, quality, dosage of vitamin contained on it. Therefore, I consider that information is necessary to be shown publicly. On the other hand, there are many sensitive data which must be hidden away from society. Those could be criminal records, personal status or bank account number. For instances, personal phone numbers sometime are collected when we surf the Internet and unfortunately, we are disturbed by advertisements sent to our phone every day, this currently becomes such a big issue. Hence, some people believe that limiting information might be the best remedy for this problem. In conclusion, even few negative points about publishing data to every body, I still highly encourage to share knowledge to society as long as we are able to well-control sensitive details. (280 words)

The instruction for this essay is "discuss both views and present your opinion". The writer is required to present an analytical opinion for each of the topic paragraphs. What is an analytical opinion? This is an opinion that considers the public supporting reasons for the opinion, based on his agreement or disagreement with the given subject. The writer must use a personal debate format that is similar to: *The public opinion that supports this opinion is mostly based on the freedom of people to be informed of any development with regards to science... An opinion that is based on the Freedom of Information Act. While there is a law that provides for open sharing of information, I disagree with this practice because.... Now, there are also people who disagree and say that these information are too valuable to be shared. They believe these must be protected because of a country's scientific, economic, and business interests. This is an opinion I agree with because...* Debate both sides of the issue as presented in the prompt. Why would some people support it? Why do you think it should be supported? Why would others not support it? Do you think it should not be supported? Why? These are the most basic questions that your response to this prompt should respond to. These are the standard guide questions you can use to draft your response. This is the only essay where you can agree or disagree in the 2 paragraphs. That is how you create the coherence and cohesiveness in the discussion, which is heavily considered in this type of discussion. Always expand on the personal opinion even if you have only 1 sentence to represent the public opinion. It is your insight into the discussion that is important. For the thesis statement, you should merely imply your opinion of both topics as you will be discussing both in the next paragraphs.

## write a report for a university lecturer The amount of money spent on books in books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria over the course of 5 years from 1995 to 2005 is demonstrated in the given line graph. The 4 countries all had an upward trend. France steadily stayed on top of the chart in the whole period, however the lowest place was consecutively Austria and Italy. During the first half of the period, the order of the 4 countries' chart was consecutively Germany, France, Italy and Austria and it remained the same in 5 years. Germany, France and Austria rose sustainably by about 10 million each, however Italy fluctuated around 50 to 55 million. Within the last 5 years of the period, the amount of money spent on books in all 4 countries shifted dramatically. Germany fell to 85 million in 2003 and increased again to the peak of 95 million eventually. On the other hand, Austria soared to over 70 million, surpassed Italy and tied with France. *

The summary overview and trending statement are too busy. Too much information is being presented in one sentence, creating a jumbled mess of directionless information. The reader expects to read one idea per sentence. Use 3 sentences at a minimum, at all times to explain or represent the every paragraph , regardless of paragraph function . A higher C + C score can be awarded across all paragraphs that way. The main problem of the writer is not in the way he sees the images. He has a problem in the way he presents the information. He does not try to deliver an impressive analysis beyond a superficial report. Something that can affect the GRA, C+C, and TA final scores in relation to his final overall score. He understood the information, he just did not use the proper format in presenting the analysis. He rushed through the report.

## jobS FOR ELDERLY PEOPLE The elderly have the permission to get a job if they want no matter the age they are in some nations. In my opinion, the mentioned trend brings more drawbacks than benefits. First of all, working just has few cons for the old residents. It will help them have more income to have better living conditions. Some people do not work anymore when they enter the age of retirement, so they have to depend on the money of their children or the government to live. However, sometimes, that money is not enough which means that if they can go to work, it will be huge support not only for themselves but also for their families. It can help them to avoid becoming the financial burden of their child, which will make the old feel much happier to not disturb them. On the other hand, this trend has many disadvantages. Firstly, to compare with the young working force, the elder's productivity is not high. The older people become, the weaker they will be. For example, a factory employs 100 workers consisting of 60 high-aged workers, the slow movement of them may delay the productivity of the whole team. Secondly, there are too many mental risks to let the elderly work. As they get weaker over time, they will also have a higher rate of experiencing lots of sicknesses like bone tissue or the cold, even COVID-19. Last but not least, the working force of a nation has its own limit. If the old continue working at any age, the young adult may lose their opportunities of being employed or getting a well-paid job. Then, the rate of unemployment will rocket and affect the economy of that country. In conclusion, letting old people have a job at any age has both cons and pros. However, I think the disadvantages will outweigh the advantages. I want to know how much score I will get for this essay.

Scoring is provided as a part of our private review services. Contact us privately for details. drawbacks than benefits Wrong response format. Use the original keywords in your response. Is it an advantage or disadvantage? In my opinion What is the basis of the opinion? Present 2 reasoning subjects to support your opinion statement to complete the paragraph content. First of all, working just has few cons for the old residents This paragraph is off topic as the discussion only relates to the workforce and workplace. It will not receive a score. this trend has many disadvantages. This response is what should have been presented in the first paragraph as it clearly shows the writer's opinion based on the given topic. There are 2 relevant topic presentations in this paragraph that would have resulted in a high passing mark had these been fully developed in individual paragraphs. What a waste of scoring potential ! both cons and pros. Another off- topic reference that will result in deductions. The lack of reverse paraphrase will cause a score markdown again.

## Many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home In this ever-changing modern world, the proliferation of domestic working and learning is more available since modern technological devices are not as expensive and unattainable as previously. As regards studying online, several people critically reckon that staying at home all day will bring people a variety of severe impacts on their health and relationships. However, others take the opposite view that working at home has a few merits. As far as I am concerned, I concur with the first way of thinking. That numerous people are working and learning from home will contribute to the abatement of mortality rate by accidents and air pollution. Initially, people not going to work and school mean that the amount of using means of transportation is getting less and less. As a result, it helps avoid traffic crashes as much as possible and declines the number of injured and lethal victims. Likewise, the fewer vehicle users are, the less fume emission is released, which helps the atmosphere less contaminated. However, the impediments eclipse the lucrative side. First, spending the whole day sitting at home leads to a detrimental state of health. For instance, keeping all eyes on screens will make people have sore eyes or even be short-sighted; in addition, staying at home every day results in the laziness of doing exercise and obesity. Another drawback of working at home is that relationships such as family, colleagues, and friends can become more and more distant. Because various people spend most of their time at home focusing on working and studying, they sometimes go out to meet others or keep in touch with close people. In a nutshell, I would like to emphasize that without a shadow of a doubt, working and learning from home is worthwhile; however, the risks that are physical health and more faraway relationships are not firmly negligible.

I concur with the first way of thinking. The writer has not formatted his response properly. The topics cannot be discussed selectively as the 2 are partnered presentation topics in the original prompt. Concurring with a way of thought is also unacceptable because the discussion question relates to a viewpoint related to positive or negative developments for both groups in relation to technology access. Creating an unrelated discussion response will result in topic response deductions for this essay. the abatement of mortality rate by accidents and air pollution The writer is off target in his discussion. The only basis for consideration is the cost of technology as it relates to work and study. The writer shows that he has not understood the discussion requirements. He has failed the test. Use an outline before writing the draft and final response next time: Topic: Work and study from home Subjects : Students and adults Discussion Focus: Cheap technology has made it easier to work and study from home Discussion Point: Is it a positive or negative development?

***topic: Many people people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives.*** ## What are the reasons for this? How can this problem overcome? Work - life imbalance is becoming increasingly serious in many nations. An array of residents are having difficulty in maintaining a successful and comfortable environment in their workplace and at the same time part with time for family. There are a number of reasons behind this phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted by the government and individuals to improve the situation. There are two primary reasons why individuals are struggling to keep balance between work and the daily. One reason is that people are under considerable pressure because of the highly competitive labor market. Some well-known companies narrow down human resources in order to maintain a normal life. Consequently, they might have a substantial volume of work and people have to work some very unsocial hours.Moreover, work hours have increased and so have daily expenses, but there has not been much augmentation seen in the employees' salaries. Furthermore, people are exhausted from getting promoted due to the economic recession and high requirements at work. People nowadays are very ambitious and nobodys wants to be left behind when it comes to their career progression. Therefore, they outdo their capacity and even do overtime ignoring their other priorities. Fortunately, numerous measures could be taken to prevent this problem. This first solution would be people ought to set their own goals and priorities. They had better pay attention to when they are most productive at work and block that time off for their most important work-related activities. Additionally, structuring a personal day can increase productivity at work, which are able to result in more free time to relax outside of the workplace. A second measure would be for the authority and institutions to change work policies, reduce workload and adhere to paid employee vacation time. Take Netflix for example, this company lets their employees have a year's leave to parents. In return, employees are more productive and more loyal to the firm. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for this tendency, and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.

in many nations This creates a topic reference inaccuracy. Review the original topic reference point. It uses"people" while the writer refers to "nations". There is a misrepresentation of the topic subject. An array of residents A continued misrepresentation of the original topic basis. Deductions will continue to apply resulting in a low to failing TA score. There are a number of reasons ... several solutions should be adopted by the government and individuals ... 2 problems with this portion: - Lack of established discussion topics based on the given questions (no thesis statements). - Incorrect solution reference. Solutions are personal.The problem is not one that should be resolved by the government. The approach to the topic restatement +personal opinion will prevent the essay from achieving high / passing marks. companies narrow down human resources in order to maintain a normal life. This sentence lacks proper development in terms of idea presentation to make sense to an ENL. What is a " narrowed down human resource"? The writer is over-discussing the topics tothe point of under-development. There are too many ideas but not enough valid explanations. The clear connection between topics in the paragraphs are blurred. There is not enough use of proper connecting words, phrases, or sentences.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. IELTS Cambridge 12 - test 5. Writing task 1 ## THE POPULARITY OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES IN AUSTRALIA The bar chart compares the proportion between Australian males and females who did exercise regularly among various age groups in 2010. Overall, the percentage of men who did regular activity in the youngest age group (15 to 24) was larger than women while this figure in the oldest age category (above 65 years old) was almost the same. For middle ages, the given data shows that women exercised more fluently than men. For male, the proportion hit the peak at 52.8% in the group age 15 to 24, and dropped to 42.2% (for people who were between 25 and 34 years old) before bottomed at 39.5% for the group age 35 to 44. However, this number increased steadily to 46.7% for those who were above 65 years old. Starting at 47.7% in the youngest group age, the percentage of women who did exercise regularly rose gradually to 52.5% for the ages 35 to 44 and reached the highest at 53.5% in the group age 45 to 54, then remained almost the same level at the group age 55 to 64 before went down to 47.1% in the oldest group age, 65 or above. (193 words) Im aiming to get 7.0 in writing. kindly give me your comment. Thanks all. *

bar chart who did exercise regularly These 2 sections are not changed enough from the original. It still contains more of a semblance of the original wording, which will not help to increase the LR score. The writer must become more familiar with alternate word / synonym usage in order to improve his word usage score. The aim is to use as much different / alternate words as possible, without changing the original intent of the presentation. fluently Incorrect word usage. The writer should have used the word "frequently", which indicates a constant movement. Fluently refers to the smoothness or gracefulness of a movement. It appears that the exam taker is trying to use varied English words but his understanding of English word meaning is insufficient for him to use the correct wording for his intentions. The writer has been using run-on sentences for the most part when the requirement for the paragraph presentation is that the writer present no less than 3, no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. Separate the ideas in every sentence. Avoid thought and meaning compression to increase the C+C scores. At this point, the writer is not capable of achieving his target score yet. More work on word usage and sentence clarity are required.

## HOUSES PRICES IN ENGLAND AND IT'S CAPITAL CITY ***Task 1: The bar charts illustrate the average house expenses in England and its capital city - London, and to present the comparison regarding the average house prices between distinct areas of England within the year 2013.*** Essay: The bar charts detail how many average money which spend on purchasing houses in Englans and London in two years (1995 and 2013), and it also compares average house costs between different areas of England 2013. Overall, it is worth highlighting that London's average house costs was higher than England in both years. Additionally, it is also evident that average house prices of London was dominant among six areas, while Midlands and Northwest was at lowest. In 1995, there was around $130000 to buy a house in England, which rise to $200000 in nearly 2 latter decades. Meanwhile, this figure was only firstly statistic of London in the initial period, it was thereafter over two times as much as that of initial figure in 2013 ($420000). Regarding average house prices, $400000 was average costs to owner house in London, which ranked first among six areas given, followed by Southeast, Southwest and Northwest (ranked second:over $300000, ranked third : $270000 and ranked fourth: $200000, respectively). Finally, Midlands and Northeast shared the similar statistic, under and over $100000.

The summary overview is not clear to the reader. A summary must provide a clear sepearation of image identifiers, content placement, and image highlights. This short presentation does not do that. It is difficult to follow and fails to seperate the information in a manner that indicates each image representation. The writer should not compress the information into 1 sentence. Each paragraph has a 3-5 maximum sentence allowance. Use individual sentences instead of a run. The first paragraph immediately starts with a failing preliminary score. The author continues to use run-on sentences throughout the essay. The doubts and confusion these information create indicates a lack of proper analysis and comparison for the included information. While the writing does become concise, it fails to completely represent a coherent and concise analysis presentation. There is more room for analysis and comparison in each paragraph, provided the writer uses the individual sentence idea presentation format.

## The bar chart and the pie chart report The bar chart illustrates the quantity of males and females who took part in different courses at an educational center while the pie chart provides information about the proportion of these participants according to five different age groups in 2009. Overall, it is clear that the number of women involved in courses was higher than men, except sculpture courses. It is also noticeable that those aged 50 or over accounted for the highest attendance. With regard to the bar chart, the highest figure belonged to attendance at language courses by women, with 40 people and half that number was for men. By contrast, just 5 females attended sculpture courses, which was twice as high as the figure for males. The number of women taking part in painting courses ranked second, with exactly 30 individuals, while the figure for men was about 25 people. Similarly, there were just 20 women and 10 men attending drama courses. According to the pie chart, around 40% of people who are over 50 years old studied at this center, whereas just an eighth of that number was accounted by the under 20 age group. One in four attendances at courses belonged to those aged between 40-49 while the percentages of the 30-39 and 20-29 age groups were almost 15% and 10% respectively. *

an educational center while the pie chart I can understand that the writer was aiming to create a complex sentence presentation by presenting 2 different images and their respective information in one sentence. That does not create a complex sentence. Rather, it represents a confusing and difficult to track method of providing information. Since these are different images, representing different information, then the images should be presented as individual sentence for clarity and information seperation purposes. It will do the writer well to remember that cohesiveness and coherence scores in the essay are awarded based on the individual thought coverage or information sources of each sentence. 2 images always translates better when done in 2 targeted sentence presentations. The paragraphs properly developed the presentation requirements for the comparative report. The individualized image discussions per paragraph can be clearly followed and referred to by the reader. It is comprehensive enough in terms of information sharing to create a well developed, analyzed, and concise report presentation.

## Consumption of spreads 1981 - 2007 The graph illustrates the amount of the three different kinds of spreads used (margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter) between 1981 to 2007. Overall, the consumption of margarine and butter decreased significantly over the period of 26 years. By contrast, low fat and reduced spreads were seen a increase in the amount of usage. In 1981, there was about 90 grams of margarine used, then it fluctuated between 80 and 100 grams before fell to 40 grams at the end of the shown period. The figure for butter was 140 grams in 1981 and it reached a peak of 160 grams in 1986. Following that, the consumption of butter dramatically reduced to around 50 grams in the last year. On the other hand, low fat and reduced spreads were used only from 1996 with about 10 grams, which grew enormously to over 80 grams five years later. This figure then slightly declined in the rest of time. *

three different kinds of spreads used This is literally cut and paste from the original image. The result? Score deductions in the summary overview. The writer did not even realize that this is an inaccurate image description that he should have corrected in the analytical summary presentation. The word "spread" has several definitions, one of which is the type of food as in the case of the 3 listed items. Therefore, the differentiation between a regular spread and sandwich spreads should have been made clear to the reader. For clarity, proper word usage, and differentiation, the phrase "sandwich spreads" should have been used. The analysis could have been more complete and have been awarded a more increased score if the writer had taken note of the overlapping and meeting point measurements for the image. A deeper analysis could have been provided with the inclusion of the information that butter and margarine had equal measurements in 1993 and that the 3 spreads had equal usage in 1996b and 2001, based on the intersecting measurement lines. There is also another point of intersection that the report missed out on, which would have helped the essay get a higher C+C score.

## the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of the time spent doing housework The line graphs provide the comparison of the figure of four electrical appliances in a given country and amount of time spent doing housework in households over the period of 99 years. From an overall perspective, it is evident that the proportion of electrical appliances used has sharply increased from 1920 to 2019. However, the amount of time spent doing housework in households showed a significant decline. In 1920, the percentage of households with electrical appliances was quite low, especially the refrigerator, at 0%. The figure for using washing machines and vaccum cleaners was higher, at percisely 40% and 30%. Meanwhile, the proportion of time that families in the country spent doing housework per week was far high which stood at 50 hours. In the period from 1920 to 2012, the usage of refrigerator and vacuum cleaner rose dramatically to a peak of 100% and then stayed at that level. The percentage of households with washing machines started high at 40%, it also increased but reached just about 75% in 2012. By the contrast, the number of hours of housework has decreased suddenly and fell to approximately 10 hours per week in 2012. *

in a given country This information is not specified in the images provided. The writer will lose points for not accurately restating the contents of the images. The writer is not allowed to add information to the summary just because he thinks it will make the writing more interesting / accurate. He is not to include information that cannot be verified by the image. Doing so will result in percentage point deductions in relation to the summary overview and task accuracy considerations. over the period of 99 years While this is another way of mentioning the indicated time frame, it is not acceptable in the summary section. The summary should contain precise and accurate references to the original information. Hence, only the year range should be mentioned. An alternative year representation is better used in the body paragraphs. Or, the year indicator should have been mentioned in a parenthesis for accuracy. The rest of the presentation is accurate enough and will receive decent marks. However, the two major deduction areas will lower the overall score. While the essay will not fail, it may only receive a base passing mark. Avoid the errors indicated next time.

***It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to the remote natural environments, such as the South Pole.*** ## Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? In the present age, technology is advancing, and tourism is expanding by its side, making it possible to travel to isolated regions such as the South Pole. As far as I am concerned, this has both positive and negative consequences for humans and the nearby ecosystem. Traveling remote regions is associated with a few benefits. To begin with, traveling to other locations allows one to see strange natural wonders of the earth and learn many new things. For instance, visitors may see the wonder of nature, which are awe-inspiring in their splendor. Moreover, tourists that are able to travel to remote locations can experience living in a variety of settings. In addition, biologists can travel to remote regions to explore the habitats of native creatures such as plants, animals, and microorganisms, which may provide them with evidence and experience. Therefore, they will also have a deep understanding of the distinctive species to make many biological breakthroughs. However, traveling to a remote area has a number of drawbacks. Tourism has the ability to lift people out of poverty while also ruining their identity. For example, the coral reefs around the Mexican island of Cozumel have been damaged by ships and drivers, and they are still seriously impacted by pollution from large ships. Besides that, a rise in the number of visitors is often followed by an increase in garbage, which has a variety of effects on the area. As a result, the pollution of the surrounding environment system has to be suffered by the locals. To summarize, as previously said, going to faraway natural habitats nowadays might be good for scientific study, but it can also have negative implications that endanger people's lives.

this has both positive and negative consequences Good response for a comparative essay. Sadly, your response is incorrect as it does not apply to the question DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES? The question clearly indicates a single response essay.That response must be based on a solid defense of a single - based on the discussion question. The essay has already failed to provide a proper answer using the expected response format. The overall score will not be a passing one. All because the writer Misunderstood the question. Therefore, he must work on his English comprehension skills while also familiarizing himself with the various Task 2 response formats. There are questions that require comparison reasoning. There are those that require a single opinion such as this one. There are 2 reasons that the essay fails to deliver: - It does not follow the response format - It does not respond to the question The minor failing reason is the lack of opinion clarity due to the misunderstanding of the question. The writer tried to defend both sides, resulting in a discussion question alteration and a failure to properly follow instructions in English.

## THE INFLUENCE OF PHONE CALLS **Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society? (Dated: September 9th, 2017)** At present days, as technology increasingly develops, a cell phone has become an integral part of people's lives when they facilitate mobile phones for work and personal contact all the time. Despite some demerits it brings about, its beneficial aspects outweighed those. On the one hand, there are several particular benefits from the smartphone we can derive from. First of all, via mobile phone, geographical obstacles could not render us isolated from our families and friends. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, face-to-face contacts will be mostly restricted; hence, we still can hold phone calls with our families to stay in touch with each other. Moreover, regarding business and education, telephones may aid communication and exchange of information swiftly so that the efficiency and effectiveness are fostered. Therefore, a majority of enterprises capitalize on online contacts to assign their employees work and for business discussions without meeting in person. On the other hand, some detrimental impacts of cellphones on daily life should not be overlooked. Initially, it could be a nuisance since mobile phones manipulate people and deprive them of personal freedom and privacy. For instance, a bombardment of phone calls for work at night could disrupt our valuable sleeping time and cause a great deal of time. In addition, in terms of relationships, they will be transformed in the adverse manner at the presence of cellphones. It could be attributed to the fact that people opt to make brisk calls to keep up-to-date about others instead of regular meetings, so people could be virtually linked but factually separated. In conclusion, albeit disadvantageous to some extent, positive influences of phone calls are more significant.

The discussion format used by the writer is not really well targeted towards the discussion requirement. While there is a need to discuss the reasons why the positives outweigh the negatives, it should not be done in a comparative essay format that uses one paragraph for a positive and one for a negative. Rather, this must be written in the form of a written debate. That means, there are no seperate positive and negative paragraphs. What the examiner will expect to read is the skill by which the writer will turn a negative consideration into a positive aspect. Recall that the requirement is to prove that the positives will outweigh the negatives based on the writer's opinion. Therefore, the "spin" must be in effect with reference to the reasoning development of the writer. Turn the negative into a positive to get the best score in this type of discussion presentation.

***Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? It is argued that all students are entitled to attend tertiary education and their tuition fees should be abolished by governments without their financial status. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that pursuing college without fee would have an adverse bearing on students and society. Continuous learning is the key to knowledge and waiving tuition is the strategy that governments give that key to everyone in order to underpin their intellectual for their own countries. This policy guaranteed nobody abandoned. Developed countries have been running this program to ensure their source of philosopher be always plentiful. For example, Norway and Denmark- countries that cover all education tuition for students from elementary to high level education, are two out of five countries which are by far the happiest place in the world with the percentage of unemplyee nearly 0 percent as well as the continent's fastest growing economy. Despite the aforementioned benefits, I would contend that provision of free-of-charge education is, in fact, can cause imbalance in society. The job market is extremely competitive as it is, even job seekers with college qualifications. Therefore, if everyone is entitled to university, it is less feasible for them to get a job, let alone the financial abundance previously associated with the acquisition of a tertiary degree. Besides, giving the opportunity for studying in a high-level school easily makes students lose their motivation and they are not forced to get off the ground rather than those who struggle to earn enough money for what they decided to study. The difference between the investment and the outcome cause budget deficit, this becomes an enormous problem that is hard to solve. In conclusion, while the potential benefits of university tuition waivers make it seem like a good idea, I believe that the government should not make it free for everyone.

While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that pursuing college without fee would The opinion formation is incorrect. The opinion and extent response should be integrated into the reason. It should have been formatted similar to the following: *I partially agree with this statement to the extent that the government should subsidize free education up to the point that....* The point is to clearly represent your opinion, with an integrated thesis statement that will be the basis of the reasoning paragraphs. Continuous learning is the key to knowledge The only acceptable reasoning paragraph here is the second paragraph, which supports the writer's earlier opinion. This should have been the first reasoning paragraph, with the topics within it expanded into a second paragraph to show the cohesiveness of the discussion. The writer has presented an under developed essay at this point due to the improper first reasoning paragraph. While it might get a passing TA score, there are other grammar related issues in the essay that may still prevent it from receiving a passing score.

## people put their personal information online With the advancement of technology, more and more people are opening accounts for social media and online banking purposes. While a lot of people sceptical it security, for me, I think that despite the convenience it may brings, people should not put their personal information online. On the one hand, as we can see, signing up for an online account easier than ever due to the convenient of technology. In many cases, instead of complete lots of paperwork, users could quickly get an account for bank or for Email. By providing personal information online, people save time doing these registrations. For instance, users who want an account for twitter could do it via online on smartphone any where and anytime they want. Beside, one social media account could sign up for multiple things. Such as, Instagram link to Facebook. Users can administrative their accounts by provide their phone number or email address to get verified. This feature is useful when some invader trying to illegal invasion one's online accounts during an emergency. On the other hand, there are several problems if one's personal information online is leaked. This user will become a target for not just material but also identity thefts or scam. For example, people may be bored by telesales people because their phone number are sold by companies, or worse the thefts can impersonate the user to claim insurance. People tend to share their status on their social media without private security, the thefts may take advantage of this to break into that person's house, or kidnapped to extortive. To conclude, although making online account brought a great deal of benefits for people, it must be done carefully and security, in my mind it still more harm than good.

The main question that the essay has to give a direct answer to first, then acceptable reasons for it second, leading to a strong conclusion last is "Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?" This is the discussion question that requires the personal opinion of the writer in the form of a thesis statement. This was not responded to in the opinion statement of the writer in the first paragraph. Additionally, the prompt / topic restatement was also altered by the writer, thus creating a totally different discussion presentation for the essay. Such a serious prompt deviation will automatically result in a failing score due to the inability of the writer to properly understand the original prompt, lack of an ability to restate the topic, and a failure to deliver an appropriately formatted discussion opinion at the end. The reasoning paragraphs do not provide the correct response either. The focus of the reasoning must be on proving either an advantage or disadvantage. This is still a single opinion essay, rather than a comparative analysis. Why? The discussion instruction asks a single question, it does not ask the writer to do a comparative discussion by saying "Compare the advantages and disadvantages". Rather it asks "Is it an advantage or a disadvantage?". The word "or" referring to an option to choose one or the other, but never both sides. Overall, the essay does not meet the necessary requirements for a passing score even though the writer did his best to present what would have been a fantastic comparative presentation. It is unfortunate that the essay did not require a comparative discussion. If it had been so, then the writer would have passed, instead of failed the test.

***Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus.*** ## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? A number of universities suggest that classes through online platforms as a substitute for traditional classes. In my opinion, this trend can have both beneficial and detrimental impacts in equal measure. On the one hand, several benefits of distance learning programmers should be taken into account. Firstly, students can save time to travel to school and back. As a result, they can spend time for other purposes such as sleep, doing their homework, and helping their parents to do household chores. Secondly, online courses can help universities to cut down on their expenses. For example, because schools do not need to invest in facilities as well as building infrastructure, which means that schools can deduct more money into student scholarships. On the other hand, the drawback of this trend should not be ignored. The problem is that students can be distracted by the surrounding environment like replying to their friend's messages, joining in and out of social networking sites, and responding to their parents. Consequently, they can not attention to their lessons, which is leads to reducing the effectiveness of the learning process. In addition, lacking face-to-face interaction can be a big problem. For instance, when professors give students a group assignment, they will not discuss it just through messages or emails. As a result, students can miss information when all members in a group chat with a lot of people in there. In conclusion, I believe that traditional or modern platform classes can have both positive and negative effects depending on individual students.

can have both beneficial and detrimental impacts in equal measure. can have both positive and negative effects Neither statements provide a direct and correct response to the question. The writer cannot use a response that is not part of the chouices provided by the prompt. This is not a comparative essay, nor is it an extent essay. The writer needs to clearly provide an opinion based on the given question, or risk receiving a failing score due to no clear opinion, based on the guide question, being provided. The misdirection of the response is a clear warning signal that the essay will tend to get a final failing score. The writer did not use the provided keywords for his response, which created a prompt deviation, leading to an incorrect discussion format. He clearly could not make up his mind about which side to support when he was asked to do so. Hence the middle response position that he took. Unfortunately, there was no middle response provided in the discussion, so the writer is considered to not have a clear opinion at all. Respond only based on the provided choices for the discussion. Never make up an unrelated response as that is usually the cause of an immediate failing score.

## people often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their life In the developed era, people usually have to deal with surprise changes that are completely different from life ordinary. However, most people feel confused, and it's hard to tackle those. There are several reasons to explain these phenomenons that will be given in this essay and include suggestions. To commend with, a clear cause is people do not have enough knowledge and experience to handle new anything in their life. They are not trained to use basic skills in all situations, therefore they lack confidence, even afraid and they maintain ordinary status in their life. For example, a lot of surveys gave evidence to prove that people with a poor level of education are often not capable of creating a breakthrough in study or work. What is more, new situations bring many challenges. They must cope with the astonishing shift that they do not know or think about before. Hence, they are not able to solve those according to the best ways. For the reasons mentioned above, some keys will suggest addressed. First of all, people should take part in training courses about communication skills, solving-problem skills, and so on to expand knowledge and experience. Besides, it is necessary for students to learn minor subjects in school because surely it will support their knowledge in the future. Another measure is that people should prepare for situations which are capable of happening in the future to ready deal with them anywhen. For instance, Covid-19 is more and more dangerous and threat humans so the government was curbing restaurants that did not open, however, they solve this situation by shipping food to where customers requested. In conclusion, the appearance of new circumstances is inevitable in life, so people should employ them to improve and create exceptional situations on their own instead of escaping and being afraid of them because it will make people's lives boring. I want to receive feedbacks about my grammar and the way use vocab in each situations

The exam taker shows a clear grammar range and accuracy problem in the first paragraph. He has almost no control over the way the sentences are structured. The information presented in each paragraph is confusing, lacking in sense, and definitely, do not meet the coherence and cohesiveness requirements of the task. While the writer has done his best to express his thoughts in English, the word usage is more akin to that of someone who used an AI X language to English translator. If this is the English writing ability of the author, then he is not prepared to take and pass the IELTS test. His English language expertise is that of a beginner. He is incapable of making himself properly understood in English. The writer does not have a clear target for each of his discussion topics, making it more difficult to create a connection between the original topic and the writer's discussion / opinion presentation. Truth be told, this is more of a personal experience discussion that would have benefited say, if the writer had discussed a situation where he had to struggle with a particulat adjustment. An example of this would have been his adjustment to online classes from in-person classes during the pandemic or, how he dealt with the lockdown and lack of social interaction during the lockdown period. Both are the most recent, sudden changes that we all experienced differently, and would have made perfect reasons and solutions discussions for this essay. The writer may be able to control his sentence structures in the future provided he learns to focus his writing based on the prompt requirements. Rather than trying to give a general discussion, using personal experiences are always best. The examiners tend to score these references higher than usual because it shows a personal understanding of the discussion through relevant examples.

## average monthly spend on children's sports / participation statistics **The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children's sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period** Given are the two charts which indicate the expenditure of parents in the UK on sports during the period of 7 years from 2008 to 2014 and the amount of children taking part in the three mentioned categories over the same timeline. It is noticeable that the money spent on sports of British parents tends to increase gradually over years. In addition, football has always been the sporting activities that parents spent their money on the most. In 2008, British families expended around £20 on a monthly basis for their kids to do sport. This figure rise steadily to over £30 per month in the next 6 years. It can be clearly witnessed that the number of children participating in football dominated the highest rank of all three sports with around approximately over 8 millions which remained stable during the whole period of time. However, the number of young athletes have an incredible gain with only under 1 million participants in 2008 but ended up with nearly 5 millions children taking part in this sporting activities in 2014. Children who participated in swimming have a tendency to raise gently from just under 2.5 millions to approximate 4 millions swimmers, which means nearly double the figure. *

Given are the two charts Good move identifying the number of charts in the image. However, for clarity needs, you should use 2 additional sentences that seperately identify the image functions. That way the reader will be extremely clear about the information per image. For example, you could have said: *Image 1 has been assigned for figures relating to... While image 2 was used to refer to...* Doing this will allow for a clearer trending paragraph reference as you will be able to refer to seperate image trends, without creating any possible confusion for the reader. By merging the trending statements with the summary overview using a single paragraph, you will be able to create a highly comprehensive summary paragraph for your presentation. It will meet all the checkboxes for a valid task representation. In 2008, This is not considered a complete paragraph as it is only composed of 2 sentences. It will not receive a full scoring consideration. A complete paragraph for the IELTS task 1 and 2 require at least 3 sentences, no more than 5. This is an incomplete analysis presentation.

## msc motivational letter Dear Sir/Madam, With this letter, I'd like to convey my desire to study as a Master's student in Electrical Engineering at xxx I accomplished my bachelor's degree in Electrical and Electronic Engineering from yyy having very sound academic background on Electrical circuits, Electronic circuits, Digital Electronics, Power system analysis, Signals and Linear systems,Digital signal processing,Communication & Telecommunication engineering, Electrical engineerinig materials, Solid state devices, Energy conversion and Special machine. In addition I've finished a diploma degree in the same field.Now I intend to pursue my higher study in any prestigious institute abroad and xxx is one of such institute that ensures the high standard of education. I was born in rural area which was undeveloped so for better education my family moved towards the town of Cumilla. At the initial level of diploma my father got passed away due to heart attack. So sudden death of my father my mother got mentally sick and my family went through traumatized and I was depressed for a long time ,So as a matter of fact I couldn't make a good result during my first few semester but eventually I earned first division with all my sorrows and emotions.I'm merely sharing this experience to demonstrate a trait I believe I posses- the ability to succeed in the face of difficulties. I have successfully completed a industrial training on programmable logic control at "SILITEK BANGLADESH" . My undergraduate studies helped me explore various field of Electrical Engineering and instilled an irresistible inclination towards research . My undergrade thesis titled was " DFT simulation and Electrical properties of Single wall Carbon nanotube and Double wall carbon nanotube".The key goal of building up my thesis was find significant electronic properties of Double wall carbon nanotube.Moreover, I have won 3 VC awards in my undergraduate career. At the same time I was involved with a few clubs in my university ,such as Cultural Club, Rotary Club , Project club which has assisted me in gaining skills in leadership abilities,organizational skills. I have also developed my social skills and cooperations skills through this club. I've organized several programme in my university such as club fair, EEE Fest , Robotics competition etc. The master's programme of "Electrical Engineering" at xxx chosen because of it's matched with my previous study,make me specialized in this field of study,enlarge my academic & professional career also will help me to proceed for further study on this field. I have chosen xxx because of their programme structure, their curriculum, and their research output.Most importantly being a student in Brussels means learning in the capital of Europe and in one of the most cosmopolitan and diverse cities of the world. Moreover friendly atmosphere at the university as well as the city attracted me a lot. I believe that pursuing a Master's degree from your university will not only provide me with a solid education in the latest technologies, but will also push me forward in the computing world, and that your university, with its renowned faculty, excellent facilities, and tradition of academic excellence, will be the ideal place for me to work toward achieving my goal. When I return to my own country after completing the course, I intend to apply the knowledge I expect to acquire through learning and experience at xxx. i would join the Bangladesh telecommunication company limited (BTCL) .This would be the perfect way for me to use my skills and expertise acquired from abroad And it will give me an opportunity to serve my country. Thereafter, I will pursue a PhD degree to further explore the field of Electrical Engineering theoretically as well as practically.

Paragraphs 2 and 3 are irrelevant to the motivational letter. The writer clearly shows his intention to continue his academic learning in the field of electrical engineering but fails to provide his current and previous professional background as part of his motivational considerations. The writer must make it clear from the very start that his intentions for higher study have a direct relationship with the current quality of his work and future professional progress. The motivation has nothing to do with his personal background. That may be totally skipped in this presentation. it's matched with my previous study If it matches your previous study but has no relationship with your current skills as acquired through work experience, then this does not make a for a valid statement. The previous study and work relationship always have to go hand in hand as partnered motivating factors. More importantly, the applicant has not explained why he chose to study at this particular university when there are others that provide the same masters course. What motivated the choice? What made the university stand out? Why this country? How do these appeal to his professional skills training motivations?

## **The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities** The diagrams illustrate the renovation works which have been made on a small island for tourism. It is clear that the island have witnessed some significant change in erection. There have been an abundance of facilities added for tourists such as accommodations and a restaurant. Originally, the island was undeveloped. There were some trees located on the island while the rest was only an open space. Subsequently, two separated accommodation areas were constructed for travelers to stay. The reception was positioned in the middle, making it easy to access to the other places from here. Besides, the restaurant was also erected to serve the tourists' need. Moreover, a simple traffic system was added to the island for commuting, with 2 types of road: footpath and vehicle track. Swimming and boating could be the recreational activities for the tourists because of the constructed pier and the beach. Although, the island was filled by many new constructions, no trees were cut down. *This is a IETLS writing task 1, I need some feedbacks about it to know my band score. Thankyou!* *

The diagrams Take your cue from the original explanation that was provided to you as a reference. The first description indicated 2 maps, note the number of maps provided. Indicate the same in your presentation to remove the guesswork from your presentation. The reader needs to be completely informed within the summary explanation, which includes the number of images provided. It is clear that the island have witnessed some significant change in erection There are a few grammar errors in this presentation. Have should have used the past reference of the word (had). Also, "erection" is singular in form, there are several new edifices erected on the island so the plural form (erections) should have been used. two separated Two seperate, not seperated. Seperated means that a division was created in the original structure. Since these were built seperately, nothing was divided. Going through the overall essay, the main problem the student has with the presentation relates to proper word usage and grammar presentation. There is a lack of control over the sentence structures as evidenced by these early, but notable errors. The essay will recieve high deductions specifically in the LR and GRA sections.

## the importance of the Internet The internet is one of the most great invention, which can allow us access to the information countless sources of intruction. However, this is a positive thing or negative is a controversial problem. In my point of view, the internet not only expands our knowledge, but it brings us a lot of benifits. To start with, the Internet is a treasure trove of knowledge. Just having a smart phone, you can access the intelligence on any topic on the Internet by engines such as Facbook, Instagram and other websites. Many knowledges will appear in front of them after a few seconds, saving us the amount of time searching the information in the library. More over, full of information in the internet is free. You do not have to pay any costs for its. Therefore, now it is playing a crucial role in human's life. It is true that every issue has two sides. Beside, it has disadvantages, we cannot neglect the detrimental things. Parent cannot control what content their children view in the internet, because everyone, including children, is freedom to access any intelligence. Futhermore, there are many hackers nowadays, so individuals can be stolen their private data very easily without notice. However, the digital world is being improved and developed day-to-day by humans. I believe that all problems may be solved one day in the future. In conclusion, thanks to internet, we can have chances to accessing a trove of into. Meanwhile, we should npt ignore its negative effects. We can make sure that we are using the internet in the right way

this is a positive thing or negative is a controversial problem. This is an incorrect prompt restatement. The original prompt asks the question "To what extent do you think this is a good thing?" Therefore, the total basis for the prompt restatement + writer's personal opinion is incorrect. It does not reflect the original intentions of the prompt. This task will therefore recieve a failing score due to restatement + opinion inaccuracy. Since the immediate TA score is already failing, it is suffice to say that the overall score for this essay will not be within the passing range. The writer's inaccurate response to the prompt is the reason why the essay cannot be given a passing score. When asked "To what extent?" the response should be "I agree that this is a good thing to the extent that it provides..." The writer cannot change the discussion instruction from single opinion to comparative as reflected in this presentation. He must learn to identify the differences between single opinion and comparative essay questions / discussion instructions.

## LETTER OF MOTIVATION I believe that having a solid education and technical skills will enable a person to solve various problems that arise in society. I see graduate studies and associated research as an opportunity to grow as an individual and to acquire knowledge that can be used for the betterment of society. In my case, the thought process of this decision came not of a day or two, but of a well-planned and evaluated thought process that spanned the last 2 years from the 3rd year of my under-graduation course, when I started gaining knowledge from my final year project as well as my following practical knowledge from my work experience. Being a developing country, my country still needs proper guidance and advanced technologies with highly efficient skilled manpower, even in the field of Mechanical Engineering and on its sub-fields. This has been a great motivating factor for me to continue my graduate studies and contribute to the development of my country. During my undergraduate studies, I had a plan to work for a long period in any Industry after my studies. My final year project, on the other hand, had a great impact on me and inspired me to pursue the enormous areas of research fields. After my graduation, working on a Mechanical Design Company made me more enthusiastic to return to academics and undertake Master's studies in Biomedical Engineering at Lübeck University of Applied Sciences. I have loved every minute of my work, especially the opportunity to take part in sophisticated projects and discuss ideas with senior Design Engineers. I am not satisfied with the same routine procedures under the direction of others. I want to manage or be a part of the team that directs the course of the Project. These intentions paved a way for selecting this Master's degree course. From my small classes, I loved physics and mathematics. I was fascinated by its numerical solutions and the way of solving each problem. My 12th grade mathematics teacher showed different ways to solve problems. The way she thinks and finds the answers made an interest in me to think like her for solving the problems and finding the best solution. I felt contented after solving difficult problems. After my 12th grade, I took a firm decision to join a course where maths was the fundamental subject. I have always been fascinated by motorized toys, dating back to my childhood. My cousin and I were accustomed to dismantling those toys and reassembling them into new goods. Only because of the 2 reasons stated above, I had taken the mechanical engineering course as my Bachelor's Degree. During my bachelor's various core topics of mathematics like Calculus, Differential equations, Linear Algebra and all helped me in developing my logical way of thinking and problem-solving abilities. Other subjects like Mechanics of solids, Thermodynamics, Thermal Engineering, Manufacturing Technology, Fluid Dynamics, Heat and Mass Transfer, Design of Machine Elements, Mechatronics, and Computer-Aided Design and Analysis were also really interesting for me and showed the different application levels in the field of Engineering. The professors also motivated me to complete my Bachelor's degree with a good grade. During my 6th semester, the subject named Computer-Aided Design and Analysis became the turning point for me in the design field. In that subject, I studied the designing software Catia 3D Experience and an analysis software Ansys Simulation. Following that, I developed a strong desire to learn more about designing. However, I successfully completed 2 more designing software such as AutoCAD and SolidWorks from a reputed CAD Institute in parallel to my Bachelor's period. Management-based disciplines like Business Economics and Principles of Management demonstrated how to manage everything we do in order to maintain a work-life balance. This led me to study certified courses of the software Microsoft Project and Primavera P6. An online certified MATLAB course helps me to understand computations that calculate a set of outputs when provided with a set of inputs. On a Semester break, I had an internship for 1 week in Fertilisers and Chemicals Travancore- a Chemical manufacturing company (FACT). I analysed the specialization in unit operations and the equipment used for the process and it's controlling. Here I understood the practical implementation of a theoretical concept that doubled my interest in the Mechanical field. During the internship, I came to understand that the working environment and the safety measures they had taken were conventional and dangerous. In light of this, I decided to do my final year project demonstrating the Design and Analysis of Knee Mechanism. In the project, we designed a 4-bar polycentric Knee Mechanism with a spring-damper system that helps in stair ambulation and normal level walking. I designed the 3D structure using the software SolidWorks and analysed its forces and factor of safety. With the support of the Project guides, we presented the Paper **Design and Analysis of a Polycentric Knee Mechanism for Stair Ambulation** in an International Conference on Aerospace and Mechanical Engineering ICAME'21 and got an appreciation for the work and gladly selected for publishing as a journal in Elsevier Publishing Company. During my 8th Semester, HEPTALS Innovations and Technologies Pvt. Ltd. selected me as their Design Engineer for 1 year after recognizing my interest in the design field. I designed several 3D part models as well as assembly drawings and their analysis based on the company client's requirements. This developed my in-depth practical knowledge in the design field. Following that, I was offered a position in the next field of engineering, management. The company named TechVendors India Pvt. Ltd chose me as Project management Intern for 3 Months on a contract-based work in Cochin Shipyard Ltd. For their upcoming new Water Metro Boat Project. There I applied Microsoft Project Online software for managing the work task. From my Project and these Work Experiences inspired me to study more about biomedical devices and their related control systems which help to contribute more to my project. Based on my researches, I decided to take a master's in Biomedical Engineering because my current studies are insufficient to advance my career to the next level. My decision to study in Germany is based on the fact that it provides great exposure to students, safe for international students, and offered a Biomedical Engineering program that is similar to my study. A degree from this university is recognized worldwide, and as a result, international students who study in Germany enjoy successful and promising careers. Studying Biomedical Engineering at your university will provide me with a unique set of skills and experience, which will help me to advance in my profession. The teaching and research facilities at your university are what drew me in. Your university is one of Germany's top graduate schools for biomedical engineering. Going through the web, I realized that yours is one of the greatest universities in the country, with several opportunities for students to participate in work and research areas. A strong and excellent academic faculty has influenced my decision to pursue postgraduate studies at your university. If I am given the prestigious opportunity to join your university, I would like to take elective courses like Design Engineering, Signal Processing, Control Systems, Biophysics, Artificial Intelligence, Specialised Bio Mechanics, Medical Robotics as these are closely related to my interest. I am confident that my academic background, combined with my 1 year of practical experience outside the classroom, gives me the maturity that I want to succeed as an ideal overseas student as well as my future career development. After researching the quality of education that is available at your university, and this has been one of the major factors which have motivated me to pursue this program, as opportunities available at your university will allow my potential to grow multiple bounds. I strongly believe that under the guidance of Prof. Dr.-Ing. Achim Schweikard, Dr.-Ing. Robert Wendlandt and others will help me to contribute fruitfully to the research endeavors at your university. After completing my Master's degree, I plan to spend a few years in Germany gaining experience before returning to my own country. I am confident that after completing your program, I will have the tools necessary to gain significant knowledge and make a significant difference in this profession. Moreover, I would like to manufacture a bionic prosthetic leg with my own design and working principles and make them affordable to the amputated common people. I hope to make use of my education to give back to society. I very much hope that you would consider my candidature for October 2022 intake. Thank you for your kind consideration in advance. Yours Sincerely,

Are you applying fo a scholarship to DAAD using this essay? The reason I ask is because the essay does not follow the traditional requirements for a motivation letter, but could be referring to a DAAD or other scholarship application instead. I base this observation on the vast information coverage in this presentation that seem to be providing information to some prompt questions. The lack of identification for the application of the motivation letter is what prevents me from delivering a more targeted review for the letter. I can only provide a general observation for the improvement of this letter. Consider that the information to be provided is for a motivation letter. A motivation letter is normally used as the cover letter for an application. It provides a summary of the personal statement, statement of purpose, reason for university choice, and reason for studying in a foreign country. These information should be covered in no more than 5 paragraphs. Therefore, this essay has to be intensely edited for content to meet the paragraph and coverage requirements. Focus only on the aforementioned summary information in this paragraph for that editing work. Proper editing and focusing of the letter content will bring it closer to a motivational cover letter for your application. Provided that is, that the letter is not to be used for a DAAD application.

Hi everyone, help me by fixing my sample. you a lot in advance! ## average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010 The given pie charts depict the proportion of the standard money spent on diverse household expenses in Japan and Malaysia in 2010. Generally speaking, it can be seen that in both countries the main categories that householders consume money for were food, housing, other goods and services. Japan's percentage figures for transportation and healthcare spending were twice as high as Malaysia's. The data indicates that Malaysians spend most of their income on housing (34%), while in Japan it occupied just 21% of Japanese's expenditures. The greatest figure of expenditure in Japan was on other goods and services, accounting for 29%, which was slightly higher than that in Malaysia. In terms of food, the percentages in Japan and Malaysia were about the same, at 24% and 27% respectively. Healthcare was the expense that people in Japan and Malaysia spent the least amount on. Another major expense in Japan was transport, which took up 20%, while money involved in commuting in Malaysia was just half of that number compared with Japan. *

The given pie charts This phrase does not properly inform the reader about the number of charts that have to be dealt with in the report. For clarity ang imagination purposes (always assume the reader cannot see the image), the opening phrase can instead relay the information that "2 pie charts have been provided for analysis. The pie charts represent (image title 1) and (image title 2)." When using this type of singular idea presentation, the writer allows the reader to properly create a mental picture of the information provided. The rest of the reporting analysis is acceptable and provides clear comparison points from the pie charts. However, the sentence presentations per paragraph need to be better threshed out. Always use the 5 sentence comparison to avoid and mistakes in grammar. A longer presentation also allows for better C+C, LR and GRA scores as the writer is forced to explain himself/herself using varied vocabularies and sentence structure presentations.

## social media in business The bar chart indicates the proportion of companies that have social media presented for their businesses purposes over the period from 2012 to 2016. Overall, large businesses used social media the most for their business plans, while the least percentage came to small businesses. In addition, the proportion of media presence decreased significantly in three types of organizations in 2015. Looking at the bar chart, social media usage in medium businesses saw a significant increase of 20% from 2012 to 2014, while the percentage of small businesses gradually rose from 25% to 35% in 2014. Additionally, the stable proportion of using social media in large businesses stood at around 75% which was over 2 times higher than that of small companies in the first 3 years. The year 2015 saw a decline in social media presence with just 30% which came to small and medium-sized companies, while the percentage for large ones stood at 50%. However, the year 2016 saw a considerable increase of 30% in the percentage of large businesses with 80% in total, propelling them to the top ones using social media. Both small and medium companies' percentages were recorded at 50% and 55% respectively.

social media presented for their businesses purposes This is not very clear in meaning. I do not doubt that the confusion in your summary presentation is because you used a run-on sentence for the explanation. Once you learn to write single idea sentences, that relate to one another to create a clear paragraph, you will be able to write more coherent / easily understandable paragraphs. This paragraph will definitely not get a good GRA score due to the confusion it created when providing information to the reader. The reader needs to know: - What types of media were used? - What sorts of businessess were involved in the study? - How were the measurements collected? - What sort of business purposes were represented by the metric? These are the single idea sentences that should have been present in the summary overview. The rest of the paragraphs could have used less run-on sentences for the comparative presentation as well. Write long paragraphs instead. The maximum scoring potential of each paragraph is reached within 3-5 sentences. Try to meet the individual sentence idea, and maximum sentence count per paragraph to get better overall scoring considerations.

## ***Computers are now the basis of the modern world.*** They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. Computers have laid the foundation of the world we know today. While many are of the opinion that the classroom should be equipped with computers for the sake of teaching, placing too heavy a reliance on them may prove counterproductive. In this essay, I will present both sides of the problem and state my opinion. On the one hand, it is indubitable that computers create endless teaching possibilities. First of all, by replacing paper worksheets and paperback textbooks with digitalized versions of them, no longer do students have to carry the burden to go to school. Secondly, student management can also require much less effort from the teacher, as computers can complete tasks such as sorting or auto-grading exams for instance. Furthermore, computers provide access to enormous, invaluable educational resources for both the teacher and the student. Learners can look up answers to questions or information about a subject on the spot, while the teacher can make lessons become more exciting. On the other hand, dependence on computers may bring about negative effects. Firstly, computers can help learners browse for information instantaneously indeed, but this can be habit-forming and overusing computers may limit their critical thinking skills. Secondly, prolonged screen time may damage students' vision, and near-sightedness or far-sightedness has become increasingly commonplace among students as a result. Finally, students could become separate from the real world should they develop an addiction to computers. With no more human-to-human contact, learning is no longer fun. In conclusion, although we can utilize computers to enhance teaching experience to a certain extent, excessive use of computers can have adverse effects as well. Widespread deployment of computers should be encouraged, so long as we do not count on them.

Computers have laid the foundation of the world we know today. While this is an interesting opinion, it should not be placed at the opening part of the prompt restatement. It should instead, be integrated into your personal opinion presentation. The first 2-3 sentences of the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph must reflect only the provided discussion points. The writer's opinion, or the basis of the thesis statement, can come in the last 2 sentences. I will present both sides of the problem and state my opinion. This is a totally unnecessary repetition of the discussion instruction which will not receive a score. Once you have restated the 2 public opinions, all that is left is for you to provide your personal opinion. The examiner already knows the discussion instructions and does not need to be reminded of it. Rather, he would like to hear your opinion and thesis statement as a part of the personal opinion clarity scoring consideration. On the one hand, On the other hand While these lead in phrases are acceptable, the fact that you failed to reflect that the presentation is based on the public opinion / reasoning considerations mislead the reader. The indication is that, rather than providing a comparative public discussion first, then your personal opinion last, the totality of the reasoning paragraph is based solely on your personal opinion for both sides. The discussion is to be based on the public reasoning consideration, as reflected by the use of the correct 3rd person / group pronouns. This will then be followed by the first person singular pronoun reflection for your opinion paragraph. although we can The summary conclusion is not effective as it merely continues the incorrect discussion format. The final paragraph is known as the summary conclusion for a reason. It is to represent the summarized form of the reasoning discussion, with a quick reference to the original topic sentence and writer's opinion. While the writer shows a general understanding of the topic, the error in response formatting is the biggest problem that will adversely affect the final score of this essay in an actual setting.

I need some assistance with the following question: It is better for students to gain real experience than to spend their time in classroom . Do you agree or this agree with this statement ?Use reasons and examples to support your position . my answer In this day and age , It is a hotly- debated topic that whether life lessons or schools have more impacts on learners .Although, A large number of people believe that it is more advisable for students to go out and practice ,In my point of view, I partly agree with this opinion and the following essay will take a look at both sides of the argument. On the one side , Real world experience is highly appreciated for its contribution to one's success . Firstly , If we dare to participate in a community service , we can have more opportunities to enhance our strength and fix our weakness .Secondly , Expanding the relationship or promoting communicative skills will not be an effortful problem .For instance , I came across and got on well with numerous participants when I attended a swimming club which gives me more confidence and tactfulness . Thirdly ,we are likely to be motivated to accumulate and reinforce our knowledge . As long as we put our theory into practice or do ore experiments , our confusion can be solved and it is smoother to learn by heart the lessons. On the flip side ,It cannot be denied that institutions play an significant role in laying the foundation for citizens to develop . To begin with , Almost every aspect of life requires basic knowledge of which are gained from schools . For example , Mathematics and Biology is essential to become an excellent doctor . In addition , Teachers are reliable and dependable to seek for advice as well as go over the assignment . Finally, Qualifications from universities and colleges may determine our future career .Pupils need qualifying so as to not only have satisfactory jobs and salary but also reach their dream. In conclusion , Even though social activities provide us with precious experience which is crucial for being successful , knowledge seekers should not ignor ethe vitality of the classroom. Adolescences should both balance their schedule between academic work and voluntary campaign . end. I appreciate for all the feedback on Task response , Coherence and Cohesion , Lexical Resource, Grammatical range and accuracy . Thank you for all of you ! @meomun

hotly- debated topic Review the original prompt. There is no debate being presented. There are no 2 sides to the discussion presented either. There is only 1 opinion provided upon which your personal opinion should be based. The restatement is inaccurate as it shows a discussion not part of the original presentation. I partly agree This is not an "extent" essay, the opinion statement is again, incorrect. This is a single opinion, full (dis)agreement opinion presentation. take a look at both sides of the argument. Incorrect yet again. This is a single opinion essay. It is not a comparative essay because of the lack of "compare and contrast" instruction. The discussion / reasoning focus is only on the support for the writer's idea, which is based on a "full" rather than "extent" response to the question. Overall, the essays fails to address the prompt and question within the expected format and discussion considerations. The essay is not within a passing score consideration.

**Question:** ***Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. **My Answer:** Traditional cultures are important to us in our lives, they were built by robust human connections many years ago. These customs and traditions are naturally handed down to be preserved. To me, they are symbolic evidence of human society. Nowadays, with emerging new technology, people see that these traditions are not necessary to be preserved. Regarding the development pace of human society, while the traditional culture is generally too slow, the new technology is significantly too fast. To catch up with the change, people spend more time and energy on improving our society. On the other hand, some traditional customs can simply be completed through the internet in order to save more time. We benefit from these technologies and innovations to make our life better than ever. However, we cannot forget the root where these traditional cultures come from. We should know that these traditions are originally from us the human beings. These customs are again built by the robust connections of societies. Even with such new social platforms (a.k.a. new technology) like WhatApps and FaceBook, the relationship between person to person cannot bring us together closer than in the past. We learn these cultures from history and create new things based on them too. Although the new technology has been bringing us a more convenient life, we should not ignore the traditional cultures. Remember that all things come from history, and these customs, traditions, and cultures are the history left to us. I believe preserving them is the only way to create a better life.

The most glaring error in this task presentation is the first paragraph. The simple prompt restatement (2 sentences for 2 opinions) + personal opinion (one sentence) is not represented in the format required. The writer made the mistake of immediately discussing his personal opinion in this paragraph so this preliminary scoring aspect will definitely receive a failing score. This error alone is enough to fail the total essay, regardless of how well developed the next paragraphs are. The writer has shown a lack of understanding of the task requirements and the requirement for the presentation. The total essay is based on the writer's opinion of the 2 points of view alone. The examiner is looking for the explanation / discussion of the validity of each public opinion based upon proper pronoun usage. So the reasoning paragraphs will be scored, but the overall essay will be considered under develeoped due to the improper discussion development, based on the multiple point of view format. Again, the essay will not receive passing marks based on this presentation. The concluding summary is non-existent in this essay. Rather than a summarized discussion presentation, the writer continued to discuss reasons in the last paragraph. Which means, the essay does not have a chance of getting a passing score due to improper discussion presentations, missing references, and an inaccurate summary presentation.

## two tables analysis The tables summarise the sales of fairteade-labelled cofee and bananas in the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden between 1999 and 2004. As a general trend, the revenues made by selling bananas and coffees in 2004 was higher than in 1999 in the majority of the countries. A glance at the tables revels that the trading of coffee in the UK leaped from 1.5 millions of euros to 20 during the timespan of 6 years, making itself the leading coffee selling country in the final year. Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden also shows an expansion in their business but at a slow rate. The figure for Switzerland climbed from 3 to 6. Denmark made 2 million euros in 2003, which were 1.8 million back in 1999. The amount grew from 1 to 1.7 and 0.8 to 1 for Belgium and Sweden respectively. The UK dominated the banana market both in 1999 and 2004 by uplifting their sale from 15 million euros in the first year while roughly quadrupling the figure in the final year. Switzerland, Denmark, and Belgium also raised their profit during the period. The only exception is Sweden which eventually decreased their trading of banana from 2 to 0.9 million euros in the duration. *

The tables The writer used the correct term in the sense that the plural form of the singular word "table" was used. However, by not indicating the number of tables involved in the presentation (There are 2 tables presented), a lack of clarity was formed in the sentence presentation. The reader must immediately know how many images are presented, and what each table represents in order to create a proper mental picture of the reporting basis. between 1999 and 2004 This should have been presented as a second paragraph. This is necessary in order to seperate the image information from the rest of the information presentation. Since this is the yearly coverage reference, it needs its own sentence presentation. Again, this is for clarity purposes. Each sentence must contain only 1 thought presentation in order to achieve the required sentence clarity in every paragraph. As a general trend Good work. This trending sentence is well placed. However, it failed to present the value of money used for the measurement (millions). So, why it is good and clear, it needed another bit of highlighted information to complete the summary. A glance at the tables Is this the first or second image? Clarify and use the table title as reference. This is to be presented in the singular form of tables as well since there is only one image for coffee and another for bananas. For a clear comparison analysis and report, both reporting paragraphs must refer to the image that it is anchored to. Good work with the report though. It is acceptable and will get a passing mark. It would have gotten a better score if my observations above were corrected prior to submission for scoring.

HELLO! I need helps with the following question: ***The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. ## Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.*** The following blue print is my answer: Crystalized in the column chart are the statistics in percentage of households regarding their forms of accommodation - both in ownership and in lease contract - in England and Wales between a spectrum of 94 years starting from 1918. Theses years witnessed a steady increase in owned accommodation for most the time and thus a corresponding stable decrease in that of rented forms. According to the graph, approximately one fourth (23%) of the residents lived in their own accommodation in 1918, then the figure rose gradually to 50% in 1971 which was equivalent to that of those living in rented places, except a period of 15 years (from 1953 to 1961) that remained level at a little bit less than one third. There was a consistent growth until 2001, to nearly 70%, followed by a 5% dip in ratio in the next decade. In stark contrast, however, the pattern for rented accommodation citizens in the period was totally in reverse. Beginning at a highest 77%, those who rented a place for living slowly fell to less than one third (31%), before a moderate climb of 5% to 36% in 2011. Again, in the middle of the time spectrum from 1918 to 2011, the two counterparts were equal in size. Thank you very much! *

Crystalized in the column chart Good work on advanced English word usage. This is definitely an impressive college level English word that will catch the eye of the examiner, causing an increased consideration in your LR score. It shows that you are addressing a professional audience whose knowledge of English is at par with that advanced academic degree holders. Theses There is no such word in the English language. These is the the plural form of the singular reference "this". Ooops. While you will receive increased marks in the LR score, you will also receive a minimal deduction for this word usage error. Basically, you show a very good analysis of the image presentation. The problem, is mainly in the way you form the sentences in the paragraphs. The way you have the sentences presented are too busy. You try to compress too much information in a single sentence presentation, causing a confusing and difficult to follow analysis. As a general rule, you can use only one thought / idea in every sentence presentation. The essay is too long because of the over analysis. This means, you may not have enough time to complete a simple analysis, are required, within the 20 minute time allottment. Always remember, run-on sentences force grammar errors and, when faced with only 20 minutes, an overview analysis and comparison will work best. It is best to analyze the obvious, but not too deeply since this is not a class report and analysis paper. It is only a test to prove that you are capable of producing simple analysis papers. Keep it at at least 175 words, but no more than 200.

## In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. ***Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.*** My response: Although in the present age, enhanced technologies are being used in the agricultural industry, food shortage is still prevalent in many areas of the world. There are many people in almost all developing countries who do not get enough food to eat because of reasons such as poverty and rising demand for food due to population growth. This article discusses the possible ways to tackle this problem. Even though science and technology has made it possible for producing a substantial quantity of food, the population of the world is ever growing exponentially. As a result, the total production of food might not be sufficient for all the people. Apart from this, food crisis is a major issue in many countries, especially developing ones, where majority of population are poor. Because of poverty, they cannot even afford for daily bread. This situation is worsened by the fact that developing countries are yet to adapt modern agricultural technology for cultivation and harvesting. Relying on traditional methods means less production. For instance, most farmers in many parts of south Asia still sow paddy manually. This consumes a lot of time but gets only a little done. As a solution to mitigate world hunger, developing countries could be made aware that it is time that they start learning and adapting to modern technologies. Incentives could be provided to farmers to encourage them to produce more crops and vegetables. Providing trainings, free seeds, fertilizers, agricultural tools and easy access to market their products can definitely increase the production volume. Despite of this, until poverty is fully eliminated, there will always be some population that will have to go hungry. So, international bodies like World Food Organizations can play a tremendous role in providing food aids to impoverished communities. To conclude, despite of industrialization in the agriculture sector, many people do not have adequate food. Population growth and poverty are major causes for this issue. Agricultural development should be a prime focus of the developing countries in order to meet the ever-growing future needs.

There are many people in almost all developing countries This is a discussion misdirection. The writer has added information that is not referred to in the original prompt. As such, the topic has now changed its basis from a general world reference to specific region reference. The topic has been altered and will receive a reduced TA score due to topic inaccuracy. This article discusse This is a discussion question repetition sentence. It is not a thesis statement, which is the required infomation for the last 2 sentences. The previous sentence answered the first question. The last sentence did not. This will be another deduction based on irrelevant response format. Even though science This is a redundancy that is not helping the essay in terms of content and clarity. The first sentence must represent the topic of the paragraph through a topic sentence anchor. There is no need to continously repeat information from the original prompt. The 2 reasoning sentences should represent the paragraph content instead.

HELLO!! i need some helps with an ielts essay with the following question: *Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. ## What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.* answer: The argument of whether or not people should solely use alternative energy resources instead of fossil fuel for the preventation of climate change remains a polarizing one as some claim that these detrimental fuels are vital in several countries. In my personal opinion, I agree with the idea that fossil fuels should be gradually replaced by other environmentally-friendly form of energy since the consequences of climate change are unmeasurable and many developing countries have successfully implemented this method of environmental protection. Based on my experience, we are too underestimating the adverse consequences that climate change are bringing about for earth. Firstly, global warming is one of the main factor causing ice at two ends of the earth to melt leading to the rising at alarm rate of sea level. millions of people in coastal areas have to suffer from this phenomena every year. Secondly, the increasing temperature cause a great deal of inconvenience and harm for motorbike rider health. The evidence has already been there for us to see, earlier this year the temperature in some amrican cities were recorded to be the highest we have ever seen in history which is horrifying. Considering those negative impacts of climate change which is contributed by fossil fuels burning, we really neeb to take action to minimize the consumption of these forms of fuel. However, some people declare that it is hard or even impossible to reduce fossil fuels for other environmental-friendly ones as some nations truly need it for their operation and income. To my way of thinking, this idea can only be true in a world without globazation where communication and knowledges sharing among countries does not exist. Prosperous countries can totally help poorer one by transferring technologies, sharing information or sending environmentalist to spreading the idea of saving environment. Vietnam is a prime example, This country is just a small deveping country but with the help of richer ones, it is now able to apply many alternative kinds of energy like a field full of solar energy plants or a street which generate the electric from the movement of pedestrians to light up itself at night. In conclusion, Despite the fact that some countries are counting on fossil fuels as a source of income, for the sake of environment sustainability, they really should pack in what they are doing and start seeking for the method of applying alternative energy from more developed countries. END I appreciate all the feedbacks on Task response, Coherence and cohesion, Lexical resource, Grammatical range and accuracy. Thank you guys all!

The essay is missing a convincing argument based on the writer's opinion. This is most likely due to the discussion deviation that occurred when the reasoning paragraphs were developed. The writer does not use convincing arguments that are based on relevant examples that would support his claims. The discussion therefore, comes about as more generalized in consideration. The lack of properly referenced examples to certain claims such as: many developing countries have successfully implemented this method of environmental protection. affected the reasoning presentation of the writer in terms of reasoning evidence. Name the developing countries and the successful alternative energy programs they have implemented in their country. As this claim is a significant part of the thesis statement / writer opinion, his writing must highight this presentation in the second paragraph. Without it, the discussion is unconvincing and cannot be considered a fully developed explanatory essay.

It goes without saying that food waste is one of the most dilemmatic issues facing us today. This phenomenon stems from many different causes, but there are still some measures to prevent the outbreak of this problem timely. This following essay will analyze deeply about both the reasons and solutions of the world's food waste. On the one hand, let us take a look at several reasons that are believed to have led to this problem. In my view, the main cause Of human's excessive waste is the oversupply of food in society. In other words, we are living in a modern and sufficient world where material needs can be fully provided. Nowadays we can easily get food in just a few minutes going to the supermarket as long as we have money, but that sufficiency and convenience makes the value of food become less and less important in many people's minds. A specific example is that for some people who have a luxurious life, they are willing to spend a large amount of money for a sumptuous table just for the sake of entertainment and self-expression but they never think about whether they can eat all the food or not. As a result, the leftovers will go to waste. Another point worth noting is that the lack of rigor in the government's food policies that created a poor sense of food saving in the society. It is clear that among the hundreds of social problems we are facing, food policies are not given much attention. Thus, I think that's why people still don't have the right sense of proper food consumption. On the other hand, I sincerely believe that we can completely limit this problem by some of the following measures. First, we need to step up campaigns to raise people's awareness about food consumption. As far as I know there are now a lot of campaigns or studies about hunger in areas like Africa that happen every year and it really helps to make people aware of the preciousness of food. Second, I think there is no doubt that the government needs to tighten regulations on food savings. Specifically, the government needs to regulate the food consumption of restaurants and the regulations on ordering food. Of course we can't limit the food supply because the demand for food is limitless, but we can impose penalties if diners don't finish their order. In conclusion, the problem of food waste can be attributed to the fact that people today are underestimating the importance of food. Fortunately, this problem can be alleviated by adopting the above-mentioned measures.

It goes without saying that food waste is one of the most dilemmatic issues facing us today. Do not provide a direct opinion in the first sentence of the prompt paraphrase. There are only 3 sentences required here, none of which require a topic redirection statement like this one. Just provide: - An accurate topic restatement - 2 related causes summaries - 2 related solution summaries These are sentence presentations are what will directly respond to the task requirements and provide an acceptable preliminary score for the discussion essay. On the one hand, On the other hand, Since the 2 reasoning paragraphs are focused on 2 different discussion questions, the comparative opening phrases you chose to use are not applicable to the text that has been written. Rather, use introductory sentences that clearly state what the topic of discussion will be for the paragraph. That way, the coherence and cohesiveness of the paragraph is strongly established at the start of the presentation. The discussion format will then be correct. let us take a look at several reasons that are believed to have led to this problem Due to the time limit on your writing test, start with the topic sentence instead. The word fillers will only force unexpcted errors and/or result in deductions related to various errors in the written presentation. adopting the above-mentioned measures. You need at least 40 words in this paragraph. Do not cut corners. For scoring sake, summarize the solutions a 2nd time, as required of the summary conclusion paragraph.

**Some people encourage young children to leave their parents' house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents' house as long as possible. ## Discuss both views, and give your opinion.** With the monumental influence of modernization, unprecedented metamorphoses have transpired in the family structure that descendants are exhorted to leave their houses when they reach adulthood. Others argue that children should spend as much time as possible with their parents. I believe that children should stay home to evolve their careers. To begin with, children are usually prone to saving money for a rainy day, not to ensure their health. Family fosters them physically and mentally. In addition, when they live with seniors, they can internalize various experiences, and with guidance, young people may lead to the right trajectory. A recent survey has shown that 60% of adults, who live on their own, come under the influence of unscrupulous people and drug peddlers. Nonetheless, youngsters leave their homes in the hope of having their own space. It is not a no-brainer because they do not want to burden the family financially. They will comprehend their responsibility in parallel with getting the practical skills. Life will teach them how to survive and put them in many conditions. It can pave the way for the blossoming of their life. That is why Americans authorize their offspring to live unaided. As a result, every individual here works part-time to cover living expenses, and they can accumulate from $40 to $80 a month. To sum up, while there are some advantages to living independently, it is evident that the drawbacks outweigh the edges. Therefore, I firmly believe that young people should stay at home under parental supervision.

With the monumental influence of modernization, unprecedented metamorphoses have transpired in the family structure Do not change the point of view as presented in the original prompt. These reasons are not indicated as a topic basis in the original. Rather, it represents a part of the writer's opinion, which, when presented in the prompt restatement + opinion, changes the original meaning of the presentation. Stick to a restatement of the original prompt, using the same information, but presented using synonyms instead. This reference will pull down the TA score of the first paragraph. I believe that children should stay home to evolve their careers. Good job on the personal statement + thesis presentation. Excellent reflection of your soon to be expanded upon opinion. The problem arises when the topic is finally discussed. There is no evidence of the public opinion basis of the discussion due to the general nature of the presentation, represening only a personal point of view of the writer. The appropriate format is to use the third person pronouns when discussing the first 2 public opinions, to show that you are "discussing both views" only. This seperation is clear when you notice that the original prompt refers to "Some people" and "others", indicating the need to discuss the public point of view first, the writer's opinion last. The personal opinion should be presented within a seperate 3rd paragraph to show a clear comparison analysis using first person pronouns. The differentiation of points of views through pronoun use is necessary for the TA + GRA scoring considerations.

Hello! I am looking for help in correcting essays. I am not new to English, but I am not used to academic methods of writing. Therefore, I am trying to improve it. I hope we can help each other. ## report for a university lecturer Here is my work: The bar chart demonstrates the figures of Science and Technology European working in the US in 1999. Overall, the British and the German accounted for the highest quantity of workers employed in the US, whereas the French and the Italians had the lowest number. It can be seen from the chart that the French had the smallest amount of employees working in the US in 1999, with merely almost 5000 people, which is approximately 2000 people less than the Italians. That from other countries in Europe, the British and the German excluded, placed third in the chart with 20.000 people, almost double than the total of the French and Italian workers. On the contrary, the significant number of British and German laborers were in first and second place with 28000 and 25000 people respectively. It can be calculated that the sum figure of the British and German workers employed in the US in 1999 was almost double than that of the rest of the Europe. Thank you for your help. *

The main problem with your English skills stem from your lack of word usage accuracy, lack of familiarity with plural v. singular word usage, and proper sentence structuring. Although you show that you have a higher than beginner level of English vocabulary, you have not reached an intermediate grasp of the language usage yet. The errors you show in this writing still have you at the beginner level of English writing skills. Improvements to your writing skills can be achieved by focusing in the observations made above. This will include further review of when and where to use the definite article "the" in a sentence. Yes, although it is commonly used (on a regular basis) in the English language, there are still times when it is not needed in a sentence. Pointing out the errors in your work in general will be more helpful than if I were to review the content of your presentation. That is not actually the problem of the presentation which is why I chose to focus on what I see as your actual grammar related issues instead.

***Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? It is believed that daredevil sports, such as skydiving or skiing, should be restricted because of the threats they pose to players. I disagree with this viewpoint because imposing a ban on these sports may create some repercussions. Admittedly, if people are prevented from playing extreme sports, they can better protect their lives. Every year, hundreds of people die while engaging in activities such as bungee jumping or skydiving. This happens because they do not adhere to safety precautions or lack life-saving equipment. Even if they have had proper preparation before participating in these games, the risk of serious injuries is still considerably high. Owing to these reasons, a ban needs to be implemented on these types of sports, so that people can stay safe and avoid severe damage to their bodies. However, I believe that the banning decision is unwise since it might result in some disadvantages. It first renders many people lose their livelihoods. For example, athletes in extreme sports would be unable to participate in relevant professional competitions, thus not earning the prize money that helps sustain their livings. Store owners who sell gears such as helmets, parachutes, or safety gloves also have to stop running their businesses, thereby losing substantial profits. Second, many individuals can no longer practice their habits of playing daredevil sports to relieve stress or to satisfy their adventurous nature. This may lead to widespread disappointment and a series of negative feelings that cannot be appeased. Apparently, the community would not be benefited if extreme sports were not allowed to be played. In conclusion, I do not concur with the proposed statement. Although a prohibition of participation in such sports enables people to escape grave dangers to their lives, it should not be put into practice because of the adverse impacts it causes.

I disagree with this viewpoint The question was "To what extent?". A simple disagreement does not suit the question response. The format for the presentation must state the strength by which the writer believes in his personal opinion. Is it an unwavering belief? A strong disagreement?A vehement opposition? That is the "extent" of your response. Good work on the preliminary reason presentation though. You clearly showed an understanding of the topic and its related discussion point (s). The essay will be considered under explained. The first reasoning paragraph is not related to the writer's opinion whereas the second paragraph, clearly supports his opinion. So the previous paragraph will not receieve a score due to irrelevance. The second paragraph is well developed, but needs another supporting reason to show that the writer has the ability to present a cohesive discussion, which, right now, is missing due to the unrelated first paragraph discussion. I do not concur The writer's strength of conviction is missing again. That has to be restated in the conclusion as a part of the summary recap.

## Television and children It is true that both films and movies are the common features of every individuals, especially children. Consequently, most of things on it can be useful for the future of them. There are many lessons what children can learn from watching films, and one of which is language . In fact, it can appear in most film, which is performed by subtitles. Thus, children can learn about most common of its such as accent, vocabulary, specific of language. For example, some student who want to learn English often find a film having an English subtitle. Moreover, each film has their own characters, which had their own back ground. Thus, they will know about any features of culture in the foreign countries such as the way they eat and behave with others character. However, it has two reason why argued that these lesson is very efficient for each chilldren. Firstly, due to these subtitles on its, children will reduce the time to learn a second language, that's make these individuals can reduce their times to master it. According to the recent research, children who master the second language will not only have the high level of IQ but also easy to communicate with the others. Secondly, each film has their own behavior and the manner of characteristic and they will broaden their knowledge about every factors of social and culture. Thus, it will get a huge effect for each youngster on their future. To conclude, both civilization and foreign language is the lesson that children is able to learn throughout films and movies. Consequently, I strongly believe that films or movie can bring up many positive impact for most youngsters. Personally, I strongly believe that it brings more positive impact to each children.

It is true that This paragraph does not make sense to a native English reader. That means, the prompt restatement + opinion is not clear to the reader due to a lack of control over sentence structure and word usage. The first paragraph will receive a failing TA score. This will practically ensure that the essay is not going to get an overall passing score. The essay will receive a failing score, even though the writer shows great effort in doing his best respond to the prompt. The lack of control over sentence structure, the lack of coherence in the paragraphs, the lack of clarity in thought presentation, the highly limited grammar range, all add up to the lowest possible scores, based on the scoring rubic for this exam taker.

## change of culture and traditional values Over the past decades, there has been a remarkable change in life of the Vietnamese people. While it is argued that change has decreased the quality of many traditional values and practices, I totally disagree with this view. The purpose of this essay is to explain why I disagree with it. The first supporting point is that the fashion industry is growing rapidly. Vietnamese costumes are also known all over the world, including Ao Dai, or Vietnamese traditional costumes. Nowadays, many designs of Ao Dai have been innovated to match the style of young people. Notwithstanding, what makes these designs unique is that they not only maintain traditional beauty but also enhance a woman's grace. In that way, Ao Dai is always the pride of the Vietnamese people. Another compelling example is that Tet holiday which is regarded as a huge and deeply rooted tradition in Vietnam. Tet is an occasion for people to reunite and visit relatives and friends. In the current pandemic situation, Tet is even more meaningful so that people who are far away from their families can reunite after a long time apart. In other words, thanks to Tet holiday, the relationship between people becomes closer and closer. Moreover, Vietnamese authors are dramatically successful thanks to the development of reading culture in today's society. Whether it is a paper book or an e-book, it provides everybody with in-depth knowledge about the cultural and traditional values of different parts of our country. In conclusion, changes in Vietnamese society help Vietnam develop in all aspects, such as economy and tourism, but still maintain the traditional values of our country.

I am not sure why you are focused on Vietnam for this discussion. The original prompt references a general trend in the change of culture and traditional values. It is not solely focused on Vietnam. Did you create your own prompt requirement for this? If yes, then you should have included your original prompt so that I can properly review your essay. Please provide that next time. The purpose of this essa The examiner is not interested in a restatement of the purpose of the essay. You should have already accomplished that in the prompt restatement sentence. This section should only represent your opinion, along with the simple basis of your opinion, which will be expanded upon in the next paragraphs. There is no need to restate what is obvious to the examiner. Large percentage points will be lost that way.

## traditonal cultures will be lost as technology develops Nowadays, the advance in technology brings several benefits for people, it plays an important role in our daily life. Some people believe that high-technical stuff has a bad influence on traditional cultures., traditional habits could be replaced by advancements. For me, I don't agree with this assertion, technological tendency and traditional habits can co-exist. At first look, technological advancements may make work easier, but traditional cultures are time-honored traditions that represent a country's beauty culture. Handmade items, such as traditional handicrafts, are popular tourist attractions in Vietnam. Another example is Mochi, traditional Japanese cuisine that is prepared in a traditional manner by an expert chef in order to bring good fortune in the next year. Second, traditional handcrafted items have grown popular as a result of the rise of social media. Based on the growth of technology, there are many convenient ways for us to make a journey to natural landscapes. People nowadays enjoy spending their vacations in the countryside, which helps them to be more relaxed and peaceful. For instance, since Tiktok became popular, people have known more about traditional vacation customs around the world. To summarize, both technology and old cultures will be necessary for our future lives. They are able to co-exist and supply our core values in many ways. The balanced development in both aspects is a trending of the future.

I don't agree with this assertio The question is, to what degree? So the response format is not proper. The degree of disagreement should be presented in a way that merges the measurement with the thesis statement. The prompt restatement + personal opinion will receive markdowns for the incomplete response statement. Another example is Mochi, Use the examples as a second paragraph. For the first reasoning paragraph, merge the 2 related reasons for the explanation so that the C+C score will get a better consideration. Based on the growth of This is the actual topic sentence for this paragraph, this is where the paragraph should start. Using the sentence and then providing examples within would have created an engaging and highly infomative discussion presentation. To summarize, Good recap. However, you forgot to reiterate your personal opinion in the form of a paraphrased measured response. So the conclusion will have to receive minimal points deductions, just like the prompt restatement paragraph.

## Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar Nowadays, various mass-produced food and beverage which are loaded with sugar and other concerning preservatives are claimed to be responsible for the significant surge in health-associated problems. Therefore, many suggest that imposing a heavy tax on such products can discourage potential consumers. From my perspective, I believe that this solution can be sufficient. First of all, the introduction of said law will expectedly be a heated debate. Since most economical goods available in the current market fall under the "unhealthy" category, with such a tremendous tax increase, the majority of the population would not be able to afford such luxury. However, it is not certain that the price of the more health-beneficial products will be deducted. Therefore, inflation will assumingly take place, leading to public controversy. On the other hand, it is crucial that government funding is allocated to the production of less health-deleterious food as well as the promotion of sustainable consumerism. It is likely that once an individual is committed to a healthy lifestyle and fully acknowledges the perks of the alteration, they will be willing to maintain such practice in the long run. Besides, if health-conscious diets are broadcasted, the related illness would be curbed. As a consequence, the global health care system will be elated and may switch its focus to more innovative developments. In conclusion, the initial adaption to such a drastically different diet may cause unease. However, a sharp rise in tax imposition on junk as well as the promotion of sufficient eating habits food should be proficient at disregarding people from self-damaging.

and other concerning preservatives Do not add information to the presentation. Doing so alters the original content presentation and reduces the accuracy score for the restatement. I believe that this solution can be sufficient. The discussion instruction is not asking if you think the solution is acceptable. It is asking you to think about whether you support the solution presented by (dis)agreeing with the statement. The response format is incorrect and not applicable as a response to the original question. The response must cleary represent the keyword response to the question. The reasoning paragraphs have not focused on the soda tax discussion alone. The alterations range from: it is not certain that the price of the more health-beneficial products will be deducted. Therefore, inflation will assumingly take place The second reason is so off-base, there is noway it can recieve a partial score. A partial score is all the previous paragraph will recieve. So, while this is a heavily worded essay, it will not receive a passing score. It is just too far from the discussion expectations.

## rebuilding relationship with father As a child, I believed that my father was my hero, the first man who would embrace and love me regardless of my flaws. He was a hero to me. He spends most of his time away from us to provide us with a brighter future. In everything I do, I do it to make him and mama proud. I thought our life was perfect, that is, my father was the best, but everything changed in an instant when I found out about my father's infidelity. Days before my mom's birthday, I found out that my father was having an affair with his first love. That revelation shattered me, my sister but most especially my mom. After that, life was not as exciting and happy as I remember it was. I wake up every day feeling unworthy, knowing that the first man I ever loved might abandon us. There are times when I don't even want to talk to my friends. I never told anyone about this because I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. I was scared that they might see my father the wrong way; he's still my father after all. I once thought that I was not good at anything, but now I realize that I'm good at hiding the pain I'm feeling. What broke me was seeing my mother doing her best to smile despite the heartbreak. My admiration and love for my mother have grown as I observe how she keeps her head up and fights through the pain for my sister and me while bearing the most brutal pain of her life. In the end, my father asked for our forgiveness which we all accepted, hoping that he would change not just for us but for himself. I'm hoping that he will become a better father, especially the best husband that my mama deserves. As I was writing this memoir, I recalled a conversation with a friend long ago. She asked about the most challenging situation in my life. I told her that God had not given me one because he knew I couldn't handle it, but now I realize God gave me one because he knows I can take it. Sometimes, I would still cry alone at night and get reminded about that moment, but I'm slowly rebuilding my relationship with my father, myself, and God. Right now, I don't care about the reason it happened and choose to enjoy the moment and be grateful for the things I have, especially my mom and my sister

The writer keeps confusing the timeline of his memoir presentation. He cannot make up his mind as to whether to present this in present or past tense. Since this is a memoir, it is reflection of the writer based on past events. The keyword being "past". So the time references in the essay need to be in past form. The iconcistent time reference is what is most irritating about this memoir. The writer needs to realize that a memoir is based on "memories" and therefore, must be highlighted in presentation from a hindsight look. As this should be a balanced memoir, the writer should focus on presenting an aspect of how the father's relationship with his children changed as well. Not just from the fear of the children, but from the actual interaction with him to help depict how the family dynamic truly changed for them. That includes how the sister reacted and how that relationship changed between her and their father, and between the siblings as well.

## IELTS writing task 1 pie charts The pie charts illustrate the proportion of six categories of average household expenditures in 1950 and 2010. Overall, the money spent on housing made up the majority of household expenditures in 1950 as opposed to food expenses in 2010. The percentage of health care expenditure was the least in both years. While the proportion for food, health care, transportation and other expenses increased, that for housing and education dropped during the period given. Regarding the categories of expenditures that grew, the percentage of money spent on transportation in 2010 (14%) was over 4 times higher than that in 1950 (3.3%) compared to the figure for health care expenses which only doubled over the years (from 2.4% to 4.5%). Significant growth in expenditure could be seen in the food category, which had increased by 22.8% since 1950 and accounted for 34% of the average household expenditure in 2010. On the other hand, the percentage of housing expenditure went down considerably, from almost three-fourths to around one-fifth of the total expenses, while the figure for education remained relatively stable, at around 6.5%. * *2 pie charts*

The pie charts How many charts? How would you clearly differentiate the representations of each chart? How are these titled in the original presentation? the proportion of six categories Make the actual proportion measurement clear to the reader as this is clearly indicated in the actual image. Include a quick run-down of the 6 listed identifiers prior to its inclusion in the trending paragraph. The enumeration will allow the reader to quickly understand, remember, and consider the information coming from the trending paragraph. The writer must consider using more sentences within the paragraph presentations. The requirement is for 3-5 comparative sentences, which do not represent run-on sentences. The simple and complex sentence presentations can use improvement. Avoid using only single or 2 sentence run-on presentations as presented in this report.

## what can be done to encourage people to use bicycles more? It is true that the number of bike users is significantly decreasing in the modern era due to the development of advanced vehicles such as cars, motorbikes. This essay would attempt to cast light on the primary causes of this situation before outlining some viable solutions to motivate them to spend their time on cycling. There are several reasons why the usage of bicycles today is less than in the past. First and foremost, in the 4.0 era, people are getting busier with their jobs. Thus, individuals have a tendency to use modern transport such as automobiles, motorbikes or public transport which are obviously faster than bicycles. In addition, in some countries, including Vietnam, there are few cycling lanes, not even. Therefore, cyclists could witness some difficulty in traffic. However, several measures could be taken to encourage people to use this form of transport. The first solution is that the governments should increase taxes on motorbikes or cars. In Australia, for example, the authorities have raised taxes on gasoline to stimulate their citizens to use environmentally-friendly means of transport. Simultaneously, reducing air pollution which is caused by the emission of transport using petrol. Furthermore, governments should spend money in the state budget on expanding cycling lanes and impose the rules of those lanes. This will urge individuals to utilize bicycles. Finally, the price of bicycles should be decreased by bike companies to help inhabitants buy those items easier. To conclude, there are various reasons for the use of bicycles going down, and appropriate steps need to be taken to tackle this problem. * *Question*

It is true Since this is a personal opinion rather than a part of the original presentation, it should not be included in the topic restatement. The writer is not being asked about the validity of the claim being made in the topic. He should not be offering any information that does not adhere to the original presentation requirements as these will result in a TA scoredown for himself. This essay would attempt to cast light on the primary causes The writer was provided with 2 direct questions that would be used to assess his ability to deliver a 2 sentence response. One for each question. He is not being asked to restate the questions and how the essay should be discussed. These are considered irrelevant sentence presentations and will further lower the TA score which is based on the ability of the student to restate the prompt and offer direct opinions through topic sentence responses. The TA score is on track to receieve failing marks at this point. There are several reasons why the usage of bicycles today is less than in the past. However, several measures could be taken to encourage people to use this form of transport. Rather than restating what the discussion topic will be, provide an anchor topic sentence instead. Do not rely on empty fillers or sentence extenders as the examiners will score down those sentences. When you do not manage to deliver direct responses, the paragraph will be considered under developed in terms of discussion, reasoning, and example presentations. To conclude There are less than 40 words in this presentation. It should have at least 40 words and 2 sentences for it to be scored as a complete and accurate summary of the previous discussion. This is too short and will qualify as a fully developed conclusion. Aim to write at least 3 sentences for the concluding paragraph.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ? It is believed that taking up another language since elementary school instead of secondary school is more beneficial. In my opinion, I am in agreement with this idea. In some cases, there are still people who think that beginning learning a foreign language at an early stage has a lot of drawbacks. For instance, they believe language acquisition might not be fun and too difficult for their kids since children at this age should only do the things they enjoy like playing, drawing or learning basic things. However, there are various ways to learn a new language these days such as: they can choose to learn through apps designed as video games so that they can play and study at the same time or just simply by singing interesting songs to learn new words. Therefore, I do not think letting the children learn new things early will address any remarkable problems. On top of that, teaching a foreing language will bring several advantages for the students. Firstly, children are like sponges, they absorb new information unconsciously which means the sooner they learn another language, the more effectively it will be. Secondly, if they have been studying this language since primary school, they will have a firm foundation which is really helpful when they study higher. Take myself as an example, I have studied English since I was five years old so now compared to some of my peers, I find it easier to catch up with this subject at school. In conclusion, not only is it diverse and helpful, language acquisition is also really fun and I think its positive effects obviously outweigh the negative one.

An opinion based on the author's point of view (disagreement) with the idea presented is not in question and therefore, should not be the opinion response in the restatement + opinion paragraph. The required response, that would have been in accordance with the expected format is the response that was provided in the concluding summary instead; I think its positive effects obviously outweigh the negative one. This opinion should have been mentioned twice in the essay. The first time within the restatement at the beginning and then again in the concluding summary at the end. By providing the required opinion at the end of the essay,. the writer has guaranteed the failing score of his essay based on an irrelevant response (I am in agreement with this idea.) within the topic restatement + opinion section of the essay.

## a healthier, happier life Not all animals can make great pets, but some are truly wonderful pets. Dogs are the best pets anyone could desire. The connection between humans and dogs has been long acknowledged as one of the strongest bonds around. One reason dogs make great pets is that dogs are the perfect friends. Having a dog is like having a friend that will never leave, betray or gossip behind your back. Dogs are very loyal, friendly, and caring. Dogs return the love and care of their owners feel for them. So you should love and care for my dogs regularly. The second reason dogs are the best pet is that they help you be happier and relax. Dogs ownership can help people to recover from stress, sadness, and anything as hark work. When you arrive back from the office, your dog will be positively beside itself at your arrival. The dog wags its tail as soon as they see you go back home. The researchers show that people gain maximum benefit from their dogs. People's mental and physical health is affected by their pets. The children living in a family with dogs is the risk of asthma is more reduced than others. They help children strengthen their immunity against some common allergy viruses. The benefits go on and on. Getting a dog is one way to live a healthier, happier life.

The title of the article should be more focused on the actual pet being discussed, that is, the dog. Revise the title to indicate instead that "Dogs Make the Best Pets". The reason for the article title change is simple. When you refer to "The Best Pets", you need to discuss at least 3 common pet types. Since you are focused on only the dog discussion, therei s no reason to represent "pets" (plural form) in the title. The change in title will also require a modification to the introductory paragraph. Again, the focus should be on the dogs alone, rather than a generalization of pet types. The first 2 sentences will need to be adjusted accordingly. Avoid general pet discussions / references throughout since you are focused on only the dog reference as being the best pet.

## the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of education The chart illustrates the proportion male and female tutors in six categories of educational setting in 2010. Overall,the patterns of Nursey ( pre- school ) and primary school chart have the biggest gap between the figure for male and female. Additional, the most common education setting of female teacher was nursery ( pre-school ) and that of male tutor was university. The percentage of male and female tutors in college was equal. First of all, nursery ( pre-school ), primary school and secondary school are three types of educational setting that the proportion of female tutors was higher than that of male. The figure for female teachers in nursery ( pre-school ) and primary school, at about 95% and 90% respectively, was significantly higger than that of male tutors, at approximately 5% and 10%. With secondary school , the male tutors' ratio was over 10% lower than the female ones. Secondly, turning to the educational setting that the proportion of male tutors was higher than that of female teachers ( private training institute and university ), males won in two those types of educational settings, by about 10% and 40% respectively. The percentage of the college teachers, both male and female, were equal, accounting for 50%. *

The writer has gone overboard with his writing. He should not go over 200 words with this essay. It is only a 3, not 4 paragraph essay since there is only 1 image to review and report on. The writer has over stretched what was supposed to be a 175 word report. 175 being the ideal number of words to write in the report to get maximum scoring consideration and also, leave the writer with a pocket of editing time to perfect his presentation in terms of clarity, grammar and punctuation, as well as word spelling and usage corrections. He also makes a general reference to a chart, when he should have indicated a specific chart type (bar chart) to add to the accuracy of his summarized report. The summary is lacking in shortened information presentation for the benefit of the reader. The writer is leaving the reader with more questions than answers in the summarized presentation.

## Number of tourists visiting a Carribean island The graph provides information related to how many tourists who visited a Carribean island for a 8 year period from 2010 to 2017. Conclusion based on the graph, visitors who staying on cruise ships, visitors who staying on the island, and the total visitors experienced a simmilar upward trend for the graph's period. Another intresting fact visitors who staying on the island indeed having an upward trend but it tend to increase steadily. At the beginning of first 4 year, the visitors who staying on the island witnessed a fluctuation trend, and after that it continuously increased for the next 4 year. Slightly diffrent with it, the total visitors also saw a significant rise in the first 4 year, then it dramatically rose the next 4 year. compared to the other 2 graph, in spite of increasing trend, the visitors who staying on the island trend tend to increased steadily. *

The graph provides information Divide this long presentation into at least 2 sentences. By increasing the sentence count, the writer will provide a clear short version of the report. Do not forget to include a reference to the countries mentioned prior to the trending statement. Do not fail to include a reference as to how the guests were counted and presented in the graph (by the millions). Conclusion based on the graph Big mistake ! Never present a conclusion in any part of a Task 1 essay. This is only a reporting and assessment essay. It is not an opinion based essay. Only the task 2 essay will require the writer to conclude any of its opinion(s) within the presentation. first 4 year, Plural form presentation please. The last paragraph presentation will receive several GRA deductions ranging from word capitalization problems, lack of sentence development/ no control over sentence structuring. and a lack of cohesive and coherent thought presentation.

## The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. ***Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** The figures illustrate the roads though which people can reach to the City Hospital in 2007 and the changes that have been made in 2010. In 2007, City Hospital was enclosed by a Ring Road. From the South of the Hospital, Hospital Road met the City Road, also located on the south. There are several bus stops alongside the Hospital Road. Public and staff parked their cars in the same parking space on the right side of Hospital Road which could be accessed through the Ring Road. In 2010, a roundabout has been constructed at the intersection of the hospital road and the Ring Road at the entrance to the City Hospital. Another roundabout has also been added at the intersection between city road and the hospital road. The bus stops which were alongside the hospital road have been removed and the two roundabouts have been connected by a bus station instead. Apart from that, public and staff parking area have been distinguished. A separate public parking space has been made just beside the Ring Road, toward East. The public can enter the parking space from the Ring Road. *

The figures For clarity purposes, you must indicate the number of images and also, indicate if there is an image that is based on a revised presentation. That way you clearly lead the reader into the actual descriptive report in the later paragraphs. and the changes that have been made This reference makes it appear that physical changes, rather than route changes were made to the city hospital access. That is not the case. There were route designation changes made. Be clear when it comes to information referencing because errors in this part will tend to confuse the reader. Aside from a few clarity errors, the writer has pretty much explained the differences between the two maps quite well. Word usage could have been better in aid of clarity. The writer shows the potential to deliver a well developed report, provided he learns to use more descriptive words in the correct manner.

## required music class I can remember one class that I enrolled in college that was the bain of my existence. Ironically, the course was designed to be guiding force in people's lives, offering them self-improvement. The course's title was "Concert band performance." As I was majoring in Theater Arts, I was required to take classes that were aligned with this study in order to graduate with a degree in Theater Arts. The instructor did not like to engage with her students and did not wish to be bothered with simple concerns like questions from her students. Oh, the irony of a teacher who was supposed to be offer a self-improvement course yet was unable to help others to do so! After I finished the semester, I thought to myself, "I would have liked to have had a better agreement with Ms. Smith." If my recollection is correct, I was required to take one music class; confusing, as I had skills in theater arts. I was on my way to Broadway! Ms. Smith was unaware of the fact that I was a theater arts student. She was assuming that I needed to improve my music skills by performing on stage. At the beginning of the semester, I found myself alone in the classroom, taking brief notes from my new instructor's lessons that she was giving. After I asked, "Where are all of the other students" she replied, "I don't have to worry about that" and all I need to have are good music reading skills." That entire semester, I was required to meet with Ms. Smith, who appeared military like, wearing an impeccable suit, standing tall and upright, with perfectly coiffed hair. Every day, she complained about my poor music skills and about her being tired of teaching music for many years. She also mentioned that she wanted to retire from teaching soon and to become a lawyer. I was thinking to myself, "When will this misery end?" I was afraid of failing the class because I was not a musical performer and in addition, Ms. Smith's disposition towards me was not one of my liking. I decided to bring my own instruments, a keyboard and a Saxaphone, think Bill Clinton (!), to my performance. At the final performance, I performed flawlessly, playing both the keyboard the saxophone. Ms. Smith looked perfect as she was the main performer and once again ignored commenting on everyone's work. One of the students complained about Ms. Smith not following the descriptions of the course in the college curriculum and that we would benefit by discussing our concerns with the dean of music. Even though I finished the course with a better than average grade, I wish that I would have better compliance with Ms. Smith. I did not o to see my classmates to have stage performances, I had to buy my own instruments and constantly hear an instructor negging about my work. Even though I heard many times that she wanted to be a lawyer, I wish I could have courage to say to her to become a preacher.

The writer shows an understanding of the central topic. The discussion itself is applicable although sentence structuring problems can be found in serveral places of writing. These affect the clarity of the presentation and show an inadequate grasp of English word usage. That is very bad news for a person seeking qualification to become an American school teacher. Some problem sentences include: Oh, the irony of a teacher who was supposed to be offer a self-improvement course yet was unable to help others to do so! The writer also tends to overgeneralize the discussion and focus on the class thoughts rather than sticking to the personal aspect of the discussion. Since the reference is to the writer's personal experience, there shouldn't be any reference to "we" in the essay, The overall essay lacks something important that teachers often provide to their students when narrating stories, that is, a lesson to be taken from the experience. It is not just all about disliking the situation and the person. It must also show a lesson learned from the experience that the reader can take from the presentation.

## Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Nowadays, there are various jobs which are just suitable for one of two genders. However, in the modern era, a majority of work can be done by both males and females to have a better social life and to develop their kingdom. Some people gave an opinion that it is necessary to exclude males or females from several jobs. In my opinion, equality between males and females should be ameliorated. It appears that in reality, there exist diverse professions that correspond to male or female. As an illustration, the gender of most nurses in the hospital is nearly all-female because of their care and thoroughness towards the patient. Conversely, construction site jobs are really only suitable for men in view of the fact that the transportation of bricks, sand, and cement is quite difficult for women because of their heavyweight. Although this may be true, various works are suitable for both males and females. As evidence, the cooking chef in the restaurant could be a woman because she is scrupulous with the decoration of the food. On the other hand, a man can become a professor thanks to his knowledge. For example, math teachers should be male because men are usually sensitive to numbers, so they can teach this subject better than women. In brief, equality in the profession is necessary and it has to be encouraged more day by day. Everyone has the right to choose their favorite profession, regardless of whether it is for men or women.

The frist 2 sentences of the prompt restatement are contradicting each other. The writer claimes that these days there are jobs that are gender specific, but in the modern era, both genders can perform any job. That is where the contradiction lies. "Nowadays" refers to the same "modern era". So the writer has confused the reader due to his misuse of English terms. That is definitely an LR and GRA failure. better social life and to develop their kingdom The writer has definitely failed in the prompt restatement portion. He is introducing topics that are not contained within the original prompt. The references are irrelevant and alter the discussion focus. He has already failed the test even though the primary scoring considerations have not been brought forth yet. All because he chose to discuss personal opinions unrelated to the task in the TA section.

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Decent education undoubtedly acts as a precursor to successful careers later on. Therefore, which subjects should be incorporated into school's curricula is a controversial topic. While some people believe that schools should focus on core subjects, others say that music and sports are also indispensable. I agree with the latter view. On the one hand, academic subjects are already a must part of the timetable of all schools. Students need to learn those courses in order to have good grades to pass the university entrance exam, which is a crucial milestone in almost every students's life. It could be said that the foremost goal of people who attend school is to have a good occupation with a handsome pay after they finish. To this end, the curriculum should mostly comprise core subjects like math, science and language, as the performance of these subjects is placed heavy emphasis by universities and employers. Those compulsory disciplines are the main factor for students to get their qualifications - which are pivotal because just as clothing is to first impressions. Recruiters tend to check that piece of paper before looking at an individual's experiences. Therefore, it seems understandable that schools should underline such subjects in the curriculum. On the other hand, subjects like sports and music cannot be completely ignored. Today, firms attach great importance to not only expertise and qualifications of applicants but also their soft skills. These skills are considered better cultivated in experiences like playing music or competing in team sports than in academic lessons. Plus, a qualification somehow does not signal whether a person possesses personal traits, indicate in any way how a person will function in the real world. Moreover, schools may have chances to explore students's untapped potential. For example, many high schools in Hanoi have organized some sport and art activities, or field trips to certain places such as exhibitions or stadiums and encouraged students to engage in, which helps them develop creativity, and collaborative skills. By teaching those subjects like sports and music, students could become a well-rounded individuals, thus, they will be more confident and active. Therefore, students may find it easier to adapt to professional work environment in the future. In conclusion, there is no doubt that academic subjects should be given precedence to in schools, but it is also important that students should be taught other courses like sports or music.

Decent education undoubtedly acts as a precursor to successful careers later on The personal opinion of the writer should not be discussed in the first paragraph and is not considered to be a part of the prompt restatement + personal opinion. This particular restatement paragraph covers, at the most, only 3 sentences, without the unnecessary statement at the start. Any representations that are not part of the original statement or response question representation will result in points deductions for the writer. Stick to the original prompt and respond the the question being asked in the first paragraph. The writer has provided a strong 2 paragraph reasoning presentation based solely on a personal opinion. So the essay will be scored as having responded to only 1 of the 3 prompt instructions. When asked to discuss both views, the paragraphs must compare and contrast the public opinion with the writer's point of view in relation to the public reasoning. This is not what was represented in this essay due to the missing use of third and first person pronouns. So the essay cannot be scored beyond a first person general opinion basis. It is lacking in correct discussion representation.

## What should a university offer? When it comes to the main role of higher education, opinion is divided as to whether a college should concentrate on providing their students with useful knowledge and practical skills for their later jobs, or offering courses that best benefits the university. While I understand the reason of the former idea, I agree to a certain extent with the latter point of view. On one hand, colleges cannot offer all the necessary qualities to a specific jobs. Usually, requirements for different jobs are not the same. Not to mention that there are skills that cannot be learned at school but rather by real experience. Therefore, in the scale of a university, general knowledge should be prioritized. For students, instead of relying on what available at college, studetns should research more on their desired job and train themselves to fix their jobs. On the other hand, it is a college's responsiblity to equip their students with what employers look for. First of all, teaching job-related knowledge and skills increases the chance a student working in the field of their major at college. It is true that due to the lack of knowledge and skills, many students fail the struggle to find a job. Such students then have to take up a job that are not related to their major and usually low-paying to supply themselves. Secondly, with enough knowledge and skills, students can find a job as soon as their graduation. To be specific, useful knowledge and skills gained in college years can help students impress employers and thus they are more likely to land a job. Plus, these essential knowledge and skills make students more easily addapt to the working environment and increase their productivity. Not to mention the fact that students do not have to waste time to be trained to get used to the vacancy. To conclude, universities should create courses providing students with what they need for their future career.

I agree to a certain extent with the latter point of view. This is an empty response that does not offer an actual degree of agreement with the previous topic. In order for this response to be given a proper TA score, based on opinion clarity, the writer should state instead; *"I agree with this opinion to the extent that (reason 1) and (reason 2).* Doing so indicates an actual opinion rather than a vague reference that does not offer a measured response to the question. The reasoning for this essay does not support the correct single opinion presentation of the writer. The essay directly asks for a single defense of the writer's opinion. So the best way to prove the writer's opinion as correct would be to take an opinion that appears to be false then turn it around and show why it is a positive instead. Remember that the idea is to show the extent of the validity of the writer's opinion. In a spoken debate, this would be done by disproving the opposing side's opinion. Since this is a written debate, the same rules apply.

**The full title of the subject:** *You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. **Some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.* Although it is sometimes thought that punishing capitally ought to be banned, other people believe that violating one of the most severe rules should receive a strong penalty. In my opinion, I consider that capital punishment helps decrease the violations' percentage in our world. On the one hand, penalizing someone compulsorily may affect one's mind. In other words, individuals can suffer from intense mental illnesses such as algophobia, depression, or even Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). For example, when a criminal heard his or her puissant punishment from a judge, that culprit might imagine tortures, negative ambiance (prison), or dreadful times. Furthermore, by thinking about appalling circumstances he or she can face, this miscreant may use execute methods in order to avoid atrocious sensations. On the other hand, it is often believed that concluding a forcible penalty on a person can make an illustration for other citizens about consequences when one contravenes one or manifold guidelines of a country. As people, we expect criminals ought to be punished accurately and be a warning for culprits that are still acting illegally. Without these disciplines, most of the violators will lack the ability to witness a real caution and are guaranteed to increase outlawed activities practically. Another reason for using extreme punishments on notorious wrongdoers is assisting that wrongdoer to improve themselves and overcome their atrocity or atrocities in order to elude from forceful retributions. This is an essential point to abate criminals to ameliorate the world. In conclusion, while people may vary in their options, I think that culprits can reduce and develop excellent civilians if they can earn sufficient penalties, both amounts, and levels. **Please mark a score for me from 1 to 9, thank you very much.** *

Scoring is done privately at this forum. We do not use automated scoring systems for your essays. These essays are reviewed by human beings based on proper scoring assessment guidelines. Please contact us privately for a detailed scoring of your essay. should receive a strong penalty. You are missing the word "instead" at the end of this sentence to show that you are offering an opposite punishment to capital punishment. The sentence is incorrectly structured although it does deliver a clear meaning to the reader. So there will be a slight GRA score deduction for this section based on the improper sentence structure. I think that culprits Okay, there are 2 problems with the reasoning presentations. The first, is the lack of clear public opinion presentation. The lack of 3rd person pronoun use in the first 2 paragraphs indicates that the writer is assessing the opinions from a personal aspect rather than considering the public discussion. This can be fixed by the usage of 3rd person references in the correct places within the sentences. The other problem, is that the personal opinion of the writer was placed in the concluding paragraph, where it will force a failure of the essay due to the lack of a concluding summary. The personal opinion should be presented in one of 2 ways in this type of discussion: 1. By offering a counter argument from a first person point of view within the public opinion discussion paragraphs; 2. By explaining the personal opinion in full detail within a stand alone 3rd reasoning paragraph. The conclusion will never be the right place for a personal opinion presentation. It is called a summary conclusion paragraph for a reason. You canniot offer an extended reasoning discussion in this paragraph. It will cause an open ended essay and result in a failing TA score being applied to the presentation paragraph. It could very well force a failing score for the writer in an actual test settin.

## IELTS 2: The Internet users as percentage of population The given line graph illustrates the percentage of people in three countries who used the Internet over the course 10 years, starting from 1999. As can been seen from the graph, it is clearly evident that the proportion of Internet users to the USA, Canada, Mexico withnessed an upward trend over the period. Overall, a much larger percentage of Canadians and Americans had access to the Internet compared with Mexican. In 1999, the proportion of people using the Internet in the USA was roughly 20%. The figures for Canada and Mexico were lower, at aproximately 10% and 5%, respectively. In 2002, Internet usage in both the USA and Canada rose to around 40% of the population, while the figure for Mexico reached over 10 %. A similar trend could be seen in the proportion of Internet users to USA and Canada in 2005 as it increased significantly around 70% of the population, while the figure for Mexico reached just over 25 %. By 2009, the percentage of Internet users was highest in Canada. Almost 100% of Canadians used the Internet, compared to about 80% of Americans and only 40% of Mexicans. * *Line Graph*

The summary overview as provided will be considered a run on sentence, receiving a low TA and GRA score in the process. A clear and coherent paragraph is composed of single idea sentence presentations that allow the reader to individually reflect on the provided information. Each sentence must have only one piece of information to qualify as a properly developed paragraph. The sentence count of a proper paragraph is anywhere from 3-5 sentences. The trending statement is good but could have been less extended. Remember that there is only one image presented in the report. This indicates a 3 paragraph sentence. Meaning, the trend can and should be merged into the summary overview as a part of the concise presentation for that paragraph. It will help the writer meet the sentence requirement for the summary overview in a score boosting manner. The third paragraph is over extended. It should have been clear to the writer that the paragraphs need to be presented with at least 3 sentences in them to receive a proper scoring consideration. By compressing the information in the third paragraph, the last paragraph was left with very little reporting development, causing a lower C+C score. There was clearly some information in the previous paragraph that would have been more beneficial to the score had it been presented along with other data in the last paragraph. While the report is acceptable, the error points that exist in the essay will definitely be a scoring drawback for the exam taker. It will do his score better if he learns to spread out the information across various paragraphs in the future.

## money spent on organizing worldwide sports festivals It is true that there are some conflicting views about the benefit of organizing worldwide sports festivals. While some argue that holding on to sports events is advantageous for countries, I agree with those who believe that money spent on those kinds of events should be used for other purposes instead. On the one hand, hosting international sports festivals can significantly develop the countries' economies. To explain, it is known that those events attract a huge amount of sports fans to attend, which means there will be a lot of visitors visiting the country for this reason. The more visitors come, the more beneficial that tourism and service industries are from those entertainment activities. For example, Korea witnessed a dramatic increase in its economy thanks to hosting the winter Olympic game in 2019 On the other hand, there is an underlying assumption that those worldwide sports events could turn out to be a challenge to developing and poverty countries because they have to spend a lot of money and effort on unnecessary factors. In other words, it would be an enormous waste if the host country just focus on inventing sports infrastructures and equipment but forgot other important demands such as hospitals, schools, etc. For instance, the idea of building a worldwide-standard stadium in Vietnam was cancelled after receiving too much hate and against opinions from citizens due to its huge cost and little applicability. In conclusion, although being a host nation can have beneficial influences on the country's economy, I agree with the opinion that it is not a wise decision to spend too much money on those events but ignore other needs of the country.

It is true that there are some conflicting views Avoid presenting your personal opinion right off the bat. It is important that you do not add any information, nor begin discussing the essay at this point since this is only the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. That means, you must be true to the prompt as it was provided. Deliver only your understanding of the 2 public opinions, then state which opinion you support and why, or if you have an alternate opinion, present that as the discussion thesis for the essay in this paragraph. Presenting your personal opinion topic will not be deemed as a discussion provided the presentation is no more than a sentence long. You only need 3 sentences in this presentation comprised of public opinion 1 and 2, and the personal opinion. In this case, you only presented one public opinion and then your personal opinion. The paragraph is incomplete and does not provide an accurate representation of the original topic. Both opinion presentations cannot recieve passing scores as the general discussion presentation seems to come from the personal opinion of the writer. The GRA score, which considers the clarity of the presentation based on proper personal pronoun usage to show the 3rd person and first person discussion points are essential to this score. There should also be a 3rd paragraph that fully explains the personal opinion of the writer. The conclusion will recieve a failing score for being the part where the writer presented his personal opinion. It is an incorrect format as the concluding paragraph should only be a summary of the previous discussion points. The essay fails on so many presentation and grammar levels at this point.

Topic: ## As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. ***To what extent do you agree or disagree?*** Nowadays, more and more businesses do not make efforts to seek profit but also contribute to society as one of their missions. I completely agree with the assertion that businesses should repay society through corporate social responsibilities. On the one hand, the business has existed as an economic entity characterized by activities aimed at making money which makes sense to agree profit is also a critical objective of any enterprise. Business needs money to cover its running costs for survival and growth. Paying operating fixed costs like Ground-Hired costs and variable costs like material, employee wage,... is the most basic requirement if you want to maintain your business. Besides, intense competition for companies to constantly innovate and refine their products and services as well as capture and meet customer insights. Moreover, employees need more training and fringe benefits encouraging them to work more effectively and efficiently, as a result, business performance increase. If a company is unable to ensure its normal run, all responsibilities are frivolous. On the other hand, companies should not be run with the sole aim of maximizing profit; they have a responsibility to contribute to a better society. Firstly, they should be concerned about their inside society, more specifically, employees. For example, they should pay a decent salary to ensure the standard quality of life for workers. Secondly, companies could use a proportion of profit helping people in difficult circumstances or improve the environment. This kind of activity not only better society but also be considered a way to upgrade brand image lead to increased sales thereby increasing profits. Business and society will be in a win-win relationship. In conclusion, I believe that in addition to profits, businesses should focus on social obligations which will create a win-win relationship for society and the company

Excellent work on the simple prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation. There is a clear understanding of the topic sentence, its basis, and the discussion instruction as provided in the original presentation. While the writer showed great promise in the first paragraph, his reasoning fell apart in the next paragraph where he decided to explain why the contrary opinion is correct alongside his own opinion. Being a single opinion essay, the writer should have been clued in by the discussion question in relation to his reasoning paragraphs. He should have defended only the relevant reasons to his opinion or, shown why the contrary opinion is incorrect when compared to other considerations for the same reason. That is done in the same paragraph using the format: - Contrary reason sentence - Contrary reason defense - Writer's opinion of said reason - Writer's explanation of the fault present in the contrary reason By using that format, the writer will have properly used both sides of the discussion to strongly defend his opinion. However, the writer used a different format that does not follow the correct discussion pattern. Therefore, the writter will only get a score for the 2nd reason that supported his opinion. This means that the essay might get a passing score, even though it will be considered to be less developed in reasoning than it could have been. Always remember, an agree or disagree essay is always discussed based on the defense of the writer's opinion alone.

## DIFFICULT WRITING TASK 1 IELTS **The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart show the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report to a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.** *The first chart answers the question of why adults choose to study. The two most popular reasons are because of their interests in the subject and their aims to gain qualification, respectively at 40% and 38%. Three other options are "helpful for current job", "to improve prospects of promotion", "enjoy learning/studying", all of which were chosen by roughly 20%. The next-to-last option is "to be able to change jobs" chosen by 12% of the interviewees. "To meet other people" are at the bottom of the graph with only 9%. The second chart expresses people's opinions on how to share adult learning fees. They think 40% of the fee should go to individuals and 35% go to employers while the rest should be the taxpayers'.* * *the graph*

The essay will receive an automatic failing score as it does not meet the 150 minimum word requirement. The writer has only written a single paragraph composed of 124 words, showing a lack of familiarity with the task 1 writing requirements. Since there are 2 images presented, the report and analysis should cover a total of 4 paragraphs. It is important that the writer does not go forward with his task 1 writing exercises until he becomes more familiar with the various formatting types and discussion expectations for this section of the IELTS test. The writer must learn how to write paragraphs covering analysis and comparison information, then paragraphs that report on the elements of each image presentation.

## **Internet Users as percentage of population** The line graph compares the percentage of the Internet user in three North America countries over a 10 years period from 1999 to 2009. Overall, proportion of population who used the Internet in all three countries increased at a very high rate. At the end of period shown, the percentage of user grew to at least three times compared to what it was at the beginning. The lines representing USA and Canada are twisted together and always higher than the Mexico line. The gap between those two lines and Mexican line also became larger and larger over time, which suggested that USA and Canada grew at a higher rate. In 1999, the proportion of people using the Internet in USA was about 20%. Canada and Mexico was lower, at about 10% and 5% respectively. USA kept the highest position in 2 years. In 2002, Canada overtook USA, rose to the top and kept that position until the end of considered period. By 2005 USA caught up with Canada with the Internet user percentage rose to 70%, while the figure for Mexico was still low, just over 25%. By 2009, almost 100% of Canadians used the Internet, 80% of Americans and only 40% of Mexicans. *

in three North America countries The mention of the 3 countries in particular should have been done prior to the time frame reference. That will inform the reader regarding the comparison report basis. The mention of the countries may be repeated in the trending presentation if needed. The lines representing This is already part of the actual reporting paragraphs. It is not indicative of a trending statement, which is what this independent paragraph represents. Only the prior sentences adhere to trending information. You need not over reach with the trending statement. Any observations made should be part of the reporting paragraphs. The writer shows a keen observational talent in this writing. However, he tends to write run-on sentences rather than individual comparison sentences. It would be better if dual idea sentences are avoided to aid in the clarity of his comparison presentations.

## New Zealand's birth and death statistics The line chart presents changes in the proportion of birth and death rates in NZ from 1901 to 2101.\ In general, the birth rates tend to decrease in the future meanwhile the death trend can be increased significantly, which creates a huge gap between the two figures. Between 1901 and the present day, the birth rate has been continuously higher than the death rate. It stood at 20,000 at the first point and dramatically increase to a peak at 67,000 in 1964 after that it fluctuated from 50,000 to 63,000 at the end of the century. Since the first beginning of the century, a downward trend has been recorded from 49,000 to 45,000 and could befall in the next decade. On the other hand, the mortality rate was lower than the other one (around 10,000) in 1901. There is a moderate increase from 10,000 to nearly 30,000 before the 21st century but from that time the increase is predicted to be more rapid between 2021 to 2061 when the rate will probably remain stable at 60,000 and slowly go down in 2101

the death trend can be increased significantly Since this is a future projection, it should not be referred as a possibility. The graph shows a factual representation of the future measurement. Therefore "can" should be replaced with "will" to reflect the correct future measurement in terms of grammar accuracy. 1964 after that There should be a period at this point. The word "after" reflects a new information sentence seperate from and not in comparison with the previous sentence. Therefore, a period is required to seperate the two sentence ideas. The seperation is needed to clearly present each measurement idea within an individual analysis presentation format. than the other one (around 10,000) in 1901 Do not place important information in a parenthesis. Notice that if you used the actual information, the sentence would have had a clearer reference point and would have allowed for proper information inclusion in the report. The writer shows an ability to analyze the information provided in the image. His problem lies within his lack of sentence structure control. The lack of proper sentence formation prevents him from consistently representing cohesive and coherent sentence / paragraph presentations. Sentence development exercises can help reduce these types of errors.

## Driving test pass rates The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Below is my work, It would be great if you could take a look and give us some recommendations. Thank you so much for your time The bar chart compares the proportion of passing the driving test between male and female in one Asian country from 1980 to 2010. From 1980 to 2010, The rate of women passing the exam was higher than men. In 1980, the percentage of men who was succeed in their driving test was just under a third while women' rate was nearly half. Even though the proportion of both male and female increased through time (from 1980 to 2000), the rate of passing the driving test from women was much higher, particularly in 2000 accounting for almost 70 percent. In 2010, the successful rate of people passing the exam in two gender changed negatively. For instance, the rate of success from female diminished slightly about 2 or 3 percent while the male' rate stayed remain. In conclusion, through time, the trend of the percentage of taking the driving test successfully from male and female in this Asian country has positively increase, particularly in women. *

When writing the summary overview, you cannot use the same presentation pattern as the original. When you retain this much original wording and referencing style in your presentation, the examiner will consider this a cut and paste of the original and give the task accuracy of your summary paragraph a failing score. Make sure to change the presentation in totality, without retaining any keywords or presentation method from the original. Where the original has 1 sentence, use 3 sentences for your version. Change it up to score better. Good work on varying the trending statement position. Placing it at the end of the analytical paragraph shows that you have truly considered all of the information presented and used the data to come to a logical trending explanation. The presentation is a report analysis, not an opinion statement. Therefore, the conclusion is not needed. A conclusion is only required for opinion essay presentations. Do not mix up the essay formats, you will lose points for incorrect presentation formatting.

**IELTS WRITING TASK 2 Constructive feedback from teachers, including deserved praise and specific suggestions, helps students learn, as well as develop positive self-esteem; to suggest the contrary can produce harmful effects.** ## Discuss the statement and give your opinion. Our education system has undergone a whole host of major changes with a view to improving it day by day. It is widely believed that constructive feedback assists students in their learning and generating self-worth, which means that criticism could have negative impacts. From my perspective, I would agree with the aforementioned point of view, as I believe constructive feedback does more good than harm to students and generates high self-esteem with its suggestions and praise. First of all, specific suggestions help students realize their shortcomings or mistakes, thereby assisting students to rectify the situation and make piecemeal changes in their way of learning. If a student had a go at correcting their own mistakes, there would be room for improvement in their education. Furthermore, deserved praise from teachers could give students faith in themselves as well as a strong belief in their good work. Consequently, students are likely to keep up with the good work and be spurred on to do better in the future. Still, teachers should remember to use positive comments moderately so as not to allow room for complacency. Secondly, as opposed to constructive feedback, criticism can pose a serious threat and have negative impacts on students. Research has proved that students tend to learn better when provided with constructive feedback rather than with criticism from their teachers. Since after receiving negative feedback, students would feel a sense of discouragement and not feel like trying hard anymore, which then could lead to poor performance and lower grades in school. While it is unarguable that criticism at times can harden a person and drive them to grow up, not all students can actually put up with being scolded or receiving something rather negative and can easily break into tears and give up. In conclusion, constructive feedback is beneficial to students as long as teachers use it moderately and also criticism should be avoided to minimize any possible harmful effects. In my opinion, teachers all over the world should make use of more constructive feedback in their teaching and give careful thought before providing students with negative feedback.

The writer tends to work in his personal opinions within the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraphs. He appears to not realize that the discussion does not start in the first paragraph. It begins in the 2nd paragraph instead. Only a thesis statement that establishes his opinion topic is needed in the first paragraph to meet the task requirements. TA deductions will apply due to the errors in format presentation in the first paragraph. Additional deductions will apply to the same paragraph as the writer does not show a degree of English word knowledge that would allow him to use word alternatives in place of keywords. This is evidence of both cut and paste along with memorized word usage. Both are TA scoredowns. If a student had a go at correcting their own mistakes, there would be room for improvement in their education. There is an error in this statement as students cannot analyze their work for errors and as such, cannot provide themselves with room for learning or correcting themselves. Only teachers can help them achieve that. There are even more errors in this presentation that require private consultation for additional observations and suggestions for improvement .

## students and part time job Knowledge is important, but experience and soft skills are an indispensable part, which you can only get when you work part-time. Learning must go hand in hand with practice for learning to be meaningful.And working part-time is your chance to apply it This will be much better than just learning theory without practice, I think it was a great way to earn extra cash quickly to help my family or pay tuition and gain soft skills through it. Na: So where will you go to work part-time when you don't have enough knowledge to enter the internship company. Working part-time at bars and restaurants won't help you develop the skills you'll need for your future job. Although restaurants and bars can't help you develop the skills you need for your career, it does give you life skills so you can handle life's situations more flexibly and intelligently. I do not deny your opinion. But I think, life skills you can learn in many places, not just working part-time at restaurants and bars. You can join clubs that help develop soft skills, expand good relationships for your future, and especially we can also learn life skills there. The most important thing is that the environment in the Club will also be much safer and healthier than in bars and restaurants. Parents or teachers are always ready to teach you necessary life skills. Thuong: Ok, I got it. Students can choose a suitable job to gain knowledge and practice it in their life. For example, a student majoring in English language can choose some job related to their major such as tutor, assistant teaching, translator. It helps to expand knowledge while gaining skills and experience. Na: Well, It sounds interesting. Students should consider carefully in choosing a part-time job so that it brings many benefits to themselves and the future.

I am not sure about what the point of this writing exercise is. Was it for a creative writing class? If so, then the opening setting should be more clear about that. It should describe the opinion of the persons involved rather than the writer's opinion about the topic. The set up has to clearly indicate who has taken what side of the discussion and why. It appears that this is supposed to be a scripted debate between 2 persons. One person asking for advice, while the other 2 have opposing views. The scene must be opened with a direct question posed by Thuong, who needs advice regarding his choices. The opposing view participants should then, deliver completely developed explanations and examples to convince Thuong that the current opinion is the correct one. However, both opinions only delve on the tip of the discussion, without actually informing Thuong of more considerable reasons that could help him come to a final decision on his own. The scripted presentation needs more work in terms of explanation and discussion clarity. The method of presentation is creative, but lacks in essence when considering the topics for discussion. The presentation leaves more questions than answers for anyone listening/reading the presentation. It lacks a proper set-up in terms of discussion applicability and relevance.