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## physical activity among Australians I truly confused by the information shown, the main question is what kind of data should I compare, same age but different genders? or same genders but different age? As the graph shows only numbers in the year 2010, should I describe the similar trend between the two genders? Also after I finished the essay, I realise my overall paragraph seems too short with only a single sentence, but how to have a greater logic to link the datas from the graph in 20 minutes? (Sorry, there were too many questions needed to be answered, because this is my first time someone would gave me feedbacks about my IELTS essay)(Thanks for your feedback) The bar chart compares the percentages of average physical exercise level between Australian males and females aged from 15 to 65 or above, recorded in the year 2010. It is clear that there were more females than males who does daily physical activities except the first group. Females in the group aged 45 to 54 had the highest amount of physical exercises, with a proportion of 53.3%. By contrast, in the same age group, males does only a mere 43.1% of regular work-outs. On the other hand, males who aged 15 to 24 provided the highest activity level of 52.8% than females. At the age of 35 to 45, there is a rising trend in both genders, also they stayed about the same percentage in the age 65 and over. *

Do not fool yourself. Since you committed the same errors as the last time, you cannot make any claims of improvement to your work /writing. You are lying to yourself if you believe that. You will not improve if you try to make yourself believe that there are positive changes to your presentation when you very well know there are none. You knew that you committed the same mistakes as the last time since you mentioned it here. What prevented you from correcting these mistakes immediately? It should have been worth the effort since this is a practice test. The timer could have been reset for your do-over. By coming here knowing the same errors exist, you leave me with with nothing to review. It is senseless for me to repeat the same advice. When you can spot mistakes and ommissions in the work of others, and can see the same in your work and knowingly fail to correct these problems then, there is a problem with you and your learning process. You can give advise, even if it is only rewriting the work of others, but cannot take or accept advice for your own improvement as evidenced by your current work. So why should other students take your advice and believe it to be better than that of the educational consultant? Next time, make an effort to show true improvement by correcting the errors you spot yourself. That is what proofreading for a higher score is all about. Otherwise, I will believe that you just do not want to learn. When that happens, I am done with you.

## The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea The chart compares the outcomes of a research on the customers' buying and drink habits in five Australian cities. It is clear that most people in these five cities like drinking coffee. Moreover, these coffee consumers preferred to go to a cafe rather than purchasing fresh or instant coffee in the past four weeks. Buying coffee or tea in a cafe is the most popular among people in Sydney,Melbourne,Brisdane and Hobart, which accounts for approximately 61%,64%,55% and 63% respectively. By contrast, fresh coffee is not welcomed in all five cities, especially in Brishbane and Adelaide, whose proportion is both lower than 35%, at only 34%. The percentage of consumers in these cities who use instant coffee ranks the second, except in Adelaide, where half of people drink instant coffee and this figure is just 1% higher than drinking in the cafe. Meanwhile, Hobart sees the largest amount of instant coffee,with the share of 54%. *

The writer has not completed A thorough score increasing analysis of the presentation. An adequate investigative presentation should be at least 175 rather than 154 words only. While the latter is a little above the minimum word count, it is not enough to show the full writing range of the author. Something best achieved with the former word count. Clearly identify the type of chart indicated as the image to help define how the information was presented. Each chart type has a specific function so it is better to be clear about it in relation to task accuracy early on. A quick listing of the 5 cities in the summary will also help add to the clarity of the trending statement. The trending statement would have also benefitted from the mention of highs and lows with regard to duect cities being mentioned. Both sections would have gotten a scoring boost if these messing presentation data were included. The writer will get a failing L R score due to his lack of spelling expertise. He did not even bother to double check the correct spelling for Brisbane in the chart. He spelled it incorrectly several times in various paragraphs. Neither did he use proper word spacing when using commas which will result in GRA deductions.

## international corporations impact on people It is considered that the incredible growth of international corporations and their cross-border developments will have effective ways for people in the world or not. From my perspective, I tend to concur that the advantages of their footprints overweigh those disadvantages in numerous aspects. In one respect, one of the most highlighted benefits has to expand great opportunities for occupational vacancies in different countries, which will solve the problem of labor resources in countries. They can hire blue-collar workers in economically developing countries at a lower price than in developed countries. Besides, globalization is to enhance the living standards of native people, and Samsung is one typical example. Once they localize their factories in Bac Ninh province, it has become a home for thousands of employees and offers all of them rest, transport, healthcare, and education. In another respect, it is admitted that the drawbacks of the expansion of multinational companies limited the development of local companies, especially small ones. National companies have to compete with huge companies to seek high-quality employees because most people often apply to big companies to seek challenges to improve themselves. Moreover, national companies would be controlled in many aspects of the market by more successful companies. Price and quality of productions would be competitive among the companies, and the citizens tend to choose international brands. To sum up, the rising international firms generate some problems; nevertheless, in my point of view, its benefits surpass in a lot of aspects for individuals.

This is a single opinion essay that bases the opinion defense paragraphs on the agreement or disagreement of the writer with the statement provided. It does not leave any room for a comparative essay presentation that shows indecision or a change of opinion coming from the writer within the reasoning paragraphs. That said, the writer has managed to offer contradicting opinions in the defense portion of the discussion which will lead the examiner to score the essay accuracy on a dubious or unclear opinion presentation. To prevent that failing score, the writer must never change his opinion in the middle of the writing. He must never use a comparison discussion either. He must simply offer 2 opinions that will convince the readers that his opinion has a factual basis to be believed. By the way, the writer also altered the discussion instruction from agree or disagree to advantages versus disadvantages, there will be slight score deduction for that redirected prompt discussion since he still managed to respond correctly to the question. The problem was in the way the answer was formatted. He should not have used the A/D format for the response.

**Topic:** ## The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. **Response:** The given two pie charts summarizes the revenues and expenditures by a charity for children situtated in the USA by the year 2016. At the onset it is clear that total revenue was higher than expenditures by roughly 300,000 dollars. The greatest source of money was donated foods while program services took away most of the funds. Talking about the revenue sources, well above three quarters, which is 86.6%, of the total income came from donated foods. From the remaining categories, community contributions was the second highest impactful source by bringing in 10.4% of the income. Program revenue and other income made up a very small amount, 2.2% and 0.4% respectively. Similarly, by contributing 0.2% each, investment income and government grants contributed the least in the income of the charity. Coming to the expenditures, a large portion of the costings were occupied by program services, which is 95.8%. Among the remaining tiny source of expenses, fundraising took 2.6% while management and general cut 1.6% of the charity's total budget. The total revenue was $53,561,580 which was just enough to cover the expenditures of $53,224,896. *

The opening summary will immediately result in a lower GRA consideration due to the run-on nature of the presentation. It does not properly represent the academic format of a 3-5 sentence paragraph. This presentation should have been presented over a 3 sentence discussion owing to the individual nature of each information piece provided. While the trending paragraph showed potential, the writer mistakenly included an actual measurement reference. This negated the content written and tuned it into a data paragraph instead. A trending indicator does not include any actual information yet, assumed or otherwise. save those information for the actual reporting sections. The presented reporting paragraphs are well analyzed.These also meet the meremum sentence requirement for the paragraph analysis. One might say that the writer did his best work in these sections.

## the issue of diarrhea among kids Pneumonia and diarrhea are the two major diseases that kill many children, especially in Africa and Asia. These are dangerous diseases and often occur in children, so that I will give two leading causes and two suitable solutions for this disease. Most cases of pneumonia in children are viral, including RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), Adenovirus, Parainfluenza virus, and Influenza virus. These viruses can spread quickly through the respiratory tract, especially during sudden weather changes, seasonal changes, and poor environmental sanitation. As for diarrhea, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: About 88% of diarrhea-related deaths are caused by unsafe water, inadequate sanitation, and inadequate sanitation. Rotavirus is the leading cause of acute diarrhea and accounts for approximately 40% of hospital admissions for diarrhea in children under five years of age. To improve children's health, I have come up with two suitable solutions to reduce the number of cases and unnecessary deaths in children. For pneumonia, the family should take the initiative to get the child vaccinated fully and on schedule with vaccines such as diphtheria-pertussis-tetanus. Clean, avoid spreading, do not smoke medicine, cooking in the room with small children. Isolate children from sick people to prevent spreading into epidemics. As for family diarrhea, they should strengthen personal hygiene in their residences and ensure food safety and hygiene and water sources in their places. And most importantly, the family should know how to properly handle a child with acute diarrhea. In conclusion, pneumonia and diarrhea are still happening around the world. I hope that the above solutions will partly reduce the risk of disease in the future.

This essay is suitable only as an English writing exercise and not an IELTS Task 2 essay. The reason? The topic is too vast and requiring actual researched information. These 2 factors disqualify the prompt as a Task 2 topic. While the prompt given is pretty straightforward, the representation makes it more complex with the inclusion of regional references. However, the actual discussion does not focus on these areas thereby creating a disconnection between the restatement and the discussion. One of the two presentations is incorrect. Since Pneumonia and Diarrhea are 2 different illnesses with different underlying causes and cures, these must be discussed using separate paragraph presentations. The combined paragraph format has resulted in a confusing discussion presentation. There are instances where the writer does not make sense with his claims. He failed to double check and correct the following error: Clean, avoid spreading, do not smoke medicine, cooking in the room with small children. I have never seen anyone smoke medicine unless it was medical marijuana, which is not applicable in this case. Avoid spreading what? what does cooking have to do with anything? There is no logic to be forend in this sentence.

***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.*** ## Discuss both views and state your opinion. It is believed by some people that hosting an international sporting competition is a beneficial chance for a country, while from other points of view, these events pose a negative effect. In this essay, I will discuss both positions and give my opinion regarding this matter. There are several reasons why hosting an international sporting event is good for a country. First of all, the hosting country will attract many visitors around the world to these events so this will bring benefits to the service industry of this country. Because, besides following sporting events, almost all visitors will spend their money to visit and experience famous traveling destinations, tourist services in the hosting country. In addition, hosting an international competition with a lot of tourists will help the hosting country broadcast their national image, especially their service industry to the world. Therefore, this will be a potential chance to develop the country's service industry and bring economical benefits to this country. Secondly, being the organization of sporting events will stimulate the pride of each individual to their country and being a positive promotion to help this country's athletes try their best to give the champion for their country. On the other hand, organizing an international sporting event may make some drawbacks to the hosting country. First, hosting these events demand a country to pay a big amount of money to upgrade the infrastructure of their sport venue and other preparatory fees. Especially with some countries where the infrastructure of their sport venues are old, this will be a hard game among benefits and negative impacts. Secondly, the reception of a large number of foreign guests will lead to the risk of fraud, riff of prices to the foreign tourists so this issue can make a negative impression on tourists to the hosting country. Moreover, many tourists visit, environmental problems are also concerned due to the increased amount of waste. In conclusion, becoming a hosting of national sporting events would bring both sides of effect to the hosting nation but I believe that the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages. Please help me to check and estimate my essay thank you verymuch

The restated opinions must be presented as 2 stand-alone sentences. These separate sentences will allow the reader to better understand the individual nature of each pov. The witter must never fully depend on the use of commas in a paragraph for sentence formation. The over and incorrect use of the comma will result in GRA deductions. The comma use alone will not be useful in creating simple and complex sentences. However, it does always create a score lowering run-on presentation. The writer neglected to present his personal openon in the first paragraph where it is used to score the comprehension skills of the writer. Repeating writing instructions are not a task 2 requirement. Directly indicating the writer opinion as the basis of the discussion or point of new is partof the scoring process.The examiner already knows what the discussion instructions are, there is no need to repeat it for his benefit. It will not help your score. The word "because" is to be used as a conjunction or preposition. Due to the nature of the word usage, it cannot be used at the start of a sentence where no noun, adjective, verb, or interjection exists. This error is word usage will further lower the C + C and GRA scores of the examinee. The writer has neglected to highlight the public and personal discussion points in his presentation. The reader and examiner cannot differentiate between the 2 in this writing, even as it was called for and specified in the writing instructions. The reader will be confused by this presentation format as it does not use the correct paragraph structure and pronoun representations in its writing. \* Contact me privately for scoring needs.

***Some university students move away and live on their own while they are attending school, but others live at home with their family while they are students.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. Some people advocate for the viewpoint that university students should move out of their houses and live independently whilst others argue that living with their family will be a better choice during school days. Although both schools of thought have their reasonability, I believe that living with family members is likely to be a better selection. On the one hand, there are various reasons living on their own is a good decision. First, it is no doubt that living alone encourages students to be more independent and self-reliant. To be more specific, instead of being served meals by parents every single day, now they have to prepare food for themselves. Furthermore, they have more freedom in making decisions on their own. For example, even if they hang out until midnight or stay with their friends, there is no need to get permission from their parents. Despite these arguments, I still believe living with family is much better for several reasons. Self-caring is too demanding for those who got used to living with their parents. For instance, when they live at home they do not have to try out any recipes or do household chores because they have their parents to assist them. Another point is that living far away from family leads to some problems related to their mental health as there is no direct support from their family when they are misled or overburdened. All in all, living alone sounds like a perfect choice for some students; however, in my opinion, family is always the best place to stay while attending university.

Good work on the prompt restatement. It is a well integrated sentence presentation that shows control over sentence structuring. The writer's opinion sentence is also well represented but would have been stronger with the inclusion of a supporting reason sentence. The problem comes in the development of the reasoning paragraphs. Rather than providing a properly referenced 3rd person group pronoun explanation of each side, the writer uses a general personal point of view instead. The correct format would have been to first depict a reason and explanation for a public opinion, using the correct pronouns as previously mentioned, then having the writer agree or disagree, with a valid personal insight, within the last few sentences of the same paragraph. This is a comparative essay /written debate after all. Aside from the response format error, it is pleasing to see that the writer understood the topic and presented valid discussion points. This would have been a passing response had the correct format been used.

**IELTS WRITING Task 1** ***The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019.*** ## Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The charts illustrated the differences in ownership of technology devices and the number of hours spent doing households in one country from 1920 to 2019. Overall, it can be seen from the charts that the usage of refrigerators for housework was not popular in 1920 while the proportion of these appliances occupied the first rank in 2019. Besides, the amount of time of weekly households reduced dramatically in the period of 100 years. In 1920, there was only about 3% of households used refrigerators while the percentage using a vacuum was 10 times it. The figure for the usage of washing machines was 40% and increased for a 40-year period. In 1960, this static declined from 70% to 65%, prior to a continuous rise for the rest of this period and reaching 75% in 2019. Meanwhile, the percentage of the usage of households with vacuum cleaners and refrigerators grew generally and in 2019, every family in this country was using those kinds of electrical appliances. People were likely to spend less time doing their housework. In 1920, the citizen spent 50 hours per week and this figure decreased dramatically to 20 hours in 1960. The time kept declining until it was only 11 hours in 2019. *

The writer should be able to create a shorter report for these 2 images. Due to the 20 minute writing allowance, the presentation should be less than 200 words, but more than 150 words. Information presented in the essay should also be done within a uniform 3-5 sentence paragraph. No presentation should be comprised of only 2 sentences. These long sentences will affect the GRA score due to the confusing sentence content. Information must be clearly segregated within the paragraph to avoid cohesiveness and coherence errors. These are some of the reasons why the writer should focus on the proper sentence structure presentation comprising simple and complex sentences in the paragraphs. The summary overview needs to clearly identify the number of images and what sort of graph is involved in the report. This to help the reader create a an imagined but visual representation of the report. An effective report will be represented by an easily visualized data explanation. The result will be a better C+C score. The writer has used the word "static" incorrectly in this presentation. It does not have the same meaning as the term "statistical". The error in word usage will negatively affect both the LR and GRA scores.

***TOPIC: ## Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*** In the 20th century, with the development of industrialization and modernization, it is widely believed that crime statistics in almost all nations acknowledged growth each year. The following essay takes a look at sources of crime and activities to keep this rate intact, action of crime prevention in the future. To begin with, human beings need to broaden their knowledge of the cause of criminal activities. Personally speaking, the first and foremost reason is lack of opportunities for career to the people in the market. When the person is unable to fulfill the financial requirements of his family and meet basic survival needs, he will commit a crime like robbery to earn more money within less time. Secondly,due to unawareness about what is unlawful acts and ignorance of the repercussions when committing the crime. For instance, on current affairs and social network, in the past few years, the young offender rate increased because they expect that teenagers are not charged with. As a result, the president and management in school educate children and especially adolescents to study carefully about laws. The government has to take strict actions against criminals whether serious crime or petty crime. For example, capital punishment against serious crimes, particularly rape, murder; is one of the best action to warn others. If other people violate misdemeanors, they will accept a monetary fine or a suspended sentence. Furthermore, in prison terms, the administration should be provided to the prisoner community service which will improve their personality. Last but not least, from my perspective, crimes are increasing due to unemployment and unawareness, however, the government and the society should join hands against crimes by politeness and severity.

We are in the 21st century, not the 20th century. To avoid such mistakes, do not try to make any time frame references in your presentation. Such errors show a problem with your current events knowledge. You do not even know what century you are currently living in. The prompt clearly asks you provide reasoning topic responses to create your personal opinion statement. The prompt restatement + personal opinion does not meet the discussion requirements. It will receive a failing preliminary score based on the incorrect restatement and lack of writer opinion in relation to the questions being asked. The reasoning paragraph in relation to the causes comes across as well developed when considering the first reason. However, the second reason does not create a connection with the first reason through a proper transition phrase or sentence. The second reason is grammatically incorrect and not developed enough as an explanation to create a cohesive paragraph presentation. By the way, if you do not say "firstly", you cannot suddenly say "secondly" in the next sentence. When you say "first", the next numerical ordinal is "second". The solutions paragraph does not develop cohesive and coherent explanations. It lacks a logical explanation and often has unrelated references, creating incoherent and non-cohesive presentations. The lack of proper sentence structure in this paragraph is more evident that in the other, earlier paragraphs as well. Due to to the lack of a proper concluding summary, the examiner will have no choice but to give this essay a failing score. It cannot get a passing score within any of the individual scoring sections. This is a sad result because you show that you understood the topic and the discussion requirements but your lack of English language thinking and writing skills proved to be the weakest part of this presentation.

## money spent on different indexes in the Usa 1) IELTS Writing Task 1 ngày 19/03/2022 The graph shows the value in US dollars (in millions of dollars) of investment in funds of four categories from 1988 to 2014. Illustrated in the line graph are figures for how many dollars were spent on the four different indexes in the United States within a timespan of 26 years, commencing from 1988. As can be inferred from the graph, an enormous upward trend was seen in all groups. In addition, there was an adjustment in American investors' policy in the allocation of funds into property and company shares. Another key feature is that gold was purchased in the hope of making a profit the most. At the outset of the survey, precisely 100 million dollars was allotted to gold, and the highest portfolios that year. Before reaching a peak of 450 million bucks in 2012 and falling back to about 375 million local currencies one year later, investment funds in gold hit a low of nearly 50 million dollars in 1992. Although funds for fine art also recorded a noticeable rise of around 350 million USD, it experienced more fluctuations than gold's figures. In 1998, the lowest amount of money was expended on company shares, hovering around 50 million dollars. This figure increased continuously to 250 million USD by 2014. In contrast, while put in marginally higher than company shares, 50 million bucks, the property received the least of dollars in 2014 and replaced the least-interested position of company shares even though it also grew constantly to nearly 200 million USD.

The summary overview is best presented over 2 sentences or more. The sentences must separately indicate the following data: - Image type + topic - Measurement method + time period (with beginning and end date) - Measurement basis (type of people/items/services ) The sentences must contain separate representations to help meet accuracy, cohesiveness, coherence, and grammar preliminary scoring needs. Run-on sentences such as the one above tend to receive less scores due to the confusing information sharing format. Sentences need one target subject only in the summary aspect. The writer is mentioning the results of a survey but made no mention of such a basis early on. The writer confused the graph with a survey most likely because a survey measurement is commonly presented in graph mode. However, not all graphs represent surveys. The measurement basis should be clear in the summary. Avoid inferring anything as there is no assurance that animage is provided to the reader. It is best to never ask the reader, even in implied forum, to consult an image. Creating an imaginative report works best in these essays. The tone of the report is proper. I can assume that the target audience are economists who will be informed, albeit in a simpler manner than they are used to. It is professional and academic in presentation even as some English grammar exists, these do not pose severe reader understanding problems within the presentation.

***Increasingly large numbers of students are undertaking their higher education in other countries. Despite problems such as the financial cost and the difficulty of studying in a foreign language, the benefits of studying overseas are often thought to be greater than the difficulties.*** ## To what extent do you agree? In this day and age, the youth are prone to choose to study abroad when graduating high school instead of continuing to learn in the traditional course. Although they are forced to pay high fees and face a variety of challenges in a non-native language, I partly agree that there are more merits than setbacks of this phenomenon. On the one hand, attending further education in strange nations are a positive development for numerous reasons. To begin with, students have a chance to make friends with partners coming from other nationality, this can help them to expand perspectives about exhilarating cultures.For example, if you have a friend living in Japan , you will be enriched with knowledge about their original clothes such as hanbok .....In addition ,thanks to practicing a new dialect with foreigner on a regular basis, the youth can reinforce significantly their language skill . Furthermore ,they will soar opportunities to apply to any big organization . Because when adolescents complete their curriculum and come back home , they will be equipped with greater education and other necessary skills, namely time management skills ...These are lucrative values aid to win in a competitive job market. On the other hand , this phenomenon also brings a variety of drawbacks for students . Firstly, their family will pay plenty of fees for conventional courses. This can become a burgen for the number of parents possessing low income because they will have difficulties in paying their children's fees. Specifically, students coming from poor background, they nearly loss chances to learn in developed countries such as Singapore , Canada without gaining scholarships.Secondly , if offsprings are not proficient in forein language , they will lose the ability to understand holistically lessons. For example , when they can not hear the teacher's voice, they will not keep up with curriculum. As a result , they tend to feel discouraged and fed up. In conclusion , I partly agree that students choose universities in other nations instead of pursuing traditional education . The youth should consider the finance budget and their possibilities.

Do not keep writing just for the sake of writing more words in the essay. Make sure that you can write a grammatically proficient essay, properly written and with fully developed ideas / explanations/ examples, all within 40 minutes. The task 2 essay is not just a vocabulary rest, which you seem to portray it as in this piece. It is a test of how quickly and accurately you can convey your English thoughts. The idea is to present sentences and paragraphs that are short but effective in the manner of presentation. The focus is on grammar perfection rather than just vocabulary and word count. The essay itself does poorly when considering grammar in relation to sentence structure, thought clarity, and punctuation usage. The writer only uses the period, comma, or ellipses in his writing. This is evidence of limited sentence structure knowledge in relation to punctuation usage. These are the additional areas where the score of the essay can prevent a passing score.

## spoiled youth today Youngsters' lack of moral values and self-discipline become one of the most worrying problems nowadays. This essay will show you the reason for this issue as well as propose solutions to it. Many causes lead to this consequence. Firstly, many parents currently omit the importance of paying attention and giving affection to their children, They are so devoted to their work that they forget to spend time listening and teaching their sons and daughters about the right behavioural values. On this account, teenagers will feel that they are ignored, which contributes to their bad acts to get attention. Secondly, children are easily influenced by others. For example, if they have friends who are impulsive, disorganized, and irresponsible, they will gradually conduct themselves in the same way that seems comparable with their friends. On the other hand, there are numerous solutions to this problem. Firstly, you can endeavor to persuade them to make a change. By caring for them and conveying such doom and drawbacks that might come if they continue to behave in that way. Gradually, you can reset their attitude towards the world with moral values. Secondly, you can urge them to make new friends with good personalities. This can have a good impact on children, which tends to help them to shape into such good behaviors and develop their self-improvement as well as self-discipline. In short, there are many complaints about immorality and the lack of self-discipline among teenagers, which clearly show that this issue is very serious. We must make an effort to deal with it for the good future of our society.

The last part of the restatement paragraph is called the opinion statement for a reason. The writer is expected to use 2 sentences to complete either of the following task requirements: - Express a personal opinion + his personal supporting reason or - Clearly respond to the task questions with direct topic statements that will help establish the writer's opinion regarding the given topic. It is the second option that is required of the task paragraph. A restatement of the questions shall not recieve scores as these do not depict an opinion as required. Only the restatement shall recieve a score. The paragraph will not receive full scoring merits as presented at this time. The first reasoning paragraph has an under developed 2nd reason that will reduce the C+C score. The more completely developed explanation is the first reason. Had only that reason been used for the paragraph, full scoring points would have been awarded. Since the 2 paragraphs deal with different topics / discussion subjects, the writer has misused the comparative references " On the one hand" , and " On the other hand". These may only be used in a continuing discussion pattern. The subject of the paragraphs cannot change from causes to solutions. A more appropriate transition or connecting phrase that could have been used would have been: *Based on this cause, a possible solution that can be considered is ...* The writer provides good solutions in the related paragraph. However, he has neglected to indicate who he expects to implement the solutions described. This has created confusion for the reader and will lower his GRA score. The writer understood the discussion requirements and tried to provide appropriate discussion points. Although the essay has errors, he shows the potential to pass the test in the future.

## online courses as an alternative to campus classes It is true that online courses are predominant in many universities compared to offline classes offered on campus. Although there are some drawbacks to this matter, I would argue that the benefits outshine its drawbacks. The main disadvantage of the trend towards online learning would be the difficulty of direct interaction with lecturers. Students may not have the opportunities to discuss about the matter which they do not fully understand with their peers as well as their lecturers. Therefore, the quality of teaching and studying will not reach its best and students may fail to attain high scores in their exams. Another reason is not all students come from a wealthy family. They may not have a technological device to attend a corresponding course, therefore, they have to quit their courses and wait for the campus to offer the offline courses. Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe the benefits of attend online classes in universities outweigh that of the drawbacks. Firstly, when you study online you can manage your time more easily, as your timetable is flexible and you can arrange your time to study in every possible way. Secondly, online courses can help people from four corners of the world to apply for the courses that they like, despite of their nationality. age, race and ability. For example, during the COVID 19 pandemic many renowned universities in America offer online courses for all students over the world. It is the opportunity for students who is gifted and diligent but can not afford to leap at their dreams. Finally, the cost of some online courses offered by universities are often cheaper than that of the offline courses. That will be a great help to those who are facing some financial issues in their life. In conclusion, there are certainly some disadvantages of studying online in universities, however, I would argue that it is a positive development overall. *

The writer responded to the discussion question in the concluding paragraph. That was the only part of the essay that adhered to the discussion requirement. His overall restatement, response, and discussion pattern are all incorrect. These presentations in the early part do not meet the task and opinion discussion requirements. The writer must understand that his failing score comes from the way that he used 3 different o discussion formats, none of which correspond to the original discussion pattern/format. It will be in his best interest to familiarize himself with the various task 2 formats before he continues with his practice essays. Long explanations and extreme wordcount will be useless when the examiner can clearly see that the exam taker did not understand the discussion requirement.

## full-time education should be compulsory for the youth It is sometimes argued that full-time education should be compulsory for the youth until they reach eighteen. From my point of view, I am completely in agreement with this view. One could easily suppose that education in high schools is non-essential since the knowledge obtained from school are not practical and applicable for learners when they go to work. Therefore, it would be a waste of time for students to devote their time on high school. However, I regard this as a short-sighted view. It is indisputable fact that there are a number of knowledge in terms of moral lessons about the society, civil obligations and rights and general law that are taught in high school when students are above 16 and thus have developed fully enough to absorb more complicated aspects like those. This is necessary since regardless of what kind of occupations students pursue in the future, they should be entirely oblivious of the rules and regulations of the country, their obligations and rights to the society in order to become a decent citizen with high discipline. Moreover, high schools offers students the opportunity to explore their desire of the future career, which is not ussually experienced in secondary school. In fact, non-high school education concentates on academic knowledge mostly and little attention for career orientation. Meanwhile, high schools involve in a variety of career workshops and activities in an attempt to help students understand more about certain occupations and find out their desire for their career path. As a result, if students do not know what they could do once graduating, it is likely that they pursue the wrong path, leading demotivation at work and thus causing inefficient labour force for the society. In conclusion, I hold a strong conviction that education in high school should be mandatory.

Is it not necessary to use an emotional and measured response in this discussion. The discussion does not call for it specifically. It only asks for a simple response statement. While the writer will still be scored for his response, the emotional presentation where not required will not add to the scoring potential of the statement. What would have added to the score, was the reasoning sentence that would have given a simple explanation of the writer's opinion. This reason would increase the score due to the clear reasoning requirement for his opinion. It is a scoring consideration. The writer has written convincing reasoning paragraphs. He has created discussion points that prove his opinion to be true. These will result in the C+C section being highly scored. However, there are spelling and grammar errors that will result in deduction points in these specific areas. The writer should have focused less on the length of the essay and more on the perfection of the presentation. Less errors are made when paragraphs are shortened. Errors can be corrected if the writing time is not solely devoted to writing as well. He should leave at least 5 minutes for proof reading and correcting his work. The idea is to limit the number of deductions in the presentation to preserve the overall score.

## The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities It is simple to find news anywhere, anytime due to popular media, but the amount of news relative to celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. Many people suggest that the media should focus on the public. In my opinion, I support this idea. The life of ordinary people will be improved when the media becomes more interested in them. For example, the traffic situation of Ha Noi capital has been improved after getting a special channel for traffic, so that everyone can know and avoid areas where traffic congestion. Furthermore, the government knows more obviously issues of residents through daily breaking news as well as having timely solutions to support ordinary people. Therefore, it is clear that the country will develop more when the life of ordinary people has been more concerned. On the other hand, news has become more attractive with readers than focusing on only famous people. Because everyone realizes that information from breaking news is more reality, value when topics of news relate to the close life of them. According to psychologists of Harvard University, they had a survey with a group of students from other countries, having over 70 percent like to read news relative to ordinary people than stars because they feel that they learn more new,strange things about culture, custom, etc. So that there are a lot of interesting things from the lives of ordinary people that the media should report more. In conclusion, nowadays, the media have become close with everyone, but more useful and attractive when closier the lives of ordinary people.

The first sentence of the opening paragraph is a fragment, showing a clear problem with sentence structure and development. There will be immediate deductions for this error in presentation. The next half of the paragraph, in relation to proper task response is also deductible from the score as it does not follow the required measured response presentation. Both errors can quite possibly cause an overall failing score for the exam taker as these serious grade subtractions occur at the start of the preliminary scoring process. The writer has failed to prove the validity of his opinion due to his lack of proper supporting discussion topics. The second reasoning paragraph is irrelevant to his previously stated position. That paragraph will not be scored. What he should have done was create a second supporting paragraph instead. Unfortunately, the presentation has too many response format errors to receive a passing score.

***Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only leads to graduate unemployment.*** ## Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Education plays an integral in a person's upbringing, which assists people to broaden their horizons about this world. In some countries, encouraging students to attend universities will contribute to the nation's prosperity. However, some still argue that this factor will lead to an increase in unemployment. From my perspective, this essay will discuss these two perspectives, and I approve of the former one more than the latter one because of some reasons. On the one hand, it is believed that the high rate of graduates will contribute to the nation's growth. To begin with, this factor is the key which helping pupils develop themselves in universities that provide a large amount of knowledge and information for their professional fields and which are beneficial for society. Pupils will be provided knowledge related to their fields and gain more experiences not only in the process of joining the university but also in extracurricular activities. For example, obtaining proficiency in their professionalism is a contributor to some majors that required high qualifications and experience such as IT, artificial intelligence, and automatic machine, which leads to the economic growth of the nation. As a result, they will benefit in various fields and there is no doubt that studying at the universities is a great stepping-stone in the student's growth. On the other hand, this tendency also leads to a rise in the unemployment rate because of some specific reasons. Choosing to study at a university without orientation intensely might have an adverse effect on pupils further future. Some students of today tend to step into the universities because of their parents' needs and the exaggeration of the society about the universities degree, which causes pressure and depression for postgraduates. As a result, they might feel there is no interest in these stereotyped lectures and tend to give up. In conclusion, although this tendency brings various advantages to the growth of the nation, it still causes disadvantages for the pupils without intense orientation and the prejudging of the society may cause depression for students. I still consider that this trend brings more benefits to the country.

Do not provide your personal opinion in the opening statement. Always integrate that into your personal opinion as the reason for your belief. The first 2 sentences of the first paragraph should only restate the original prompt in 1-2 sentences, 3 at the most. Opening with your personal statement creates a prompt deviation as this does not present an original presentation position. There is no evidence in the original prompt to support this statement. It will cause a deduction for the paragraph. The lack of clear opinion in the last paragraph, due to the missing supporting topics, will also result in an unclear opinion presentation and receive deductions as well. These will definitely lower the starting score that could prevent the writer from achieving a passing score later on. The writer fails to compare the public opinion with his personal point of view. The total essay is written only from the writer's perspective instead of a public and personal point of view. Therefore, the writer has used an incorrect response format in his response. The use of third person pronouns, along with a first person pronoun needs to be seen in these paragraphs to highlight the discussion opinion of the public as compared to the author's opinion. A concluding summary must present the salient discussion points in recap. It should not be a continuing discussion of the topic. The latter is the error that the writer made in this presentation and will be one of the causes for the failing score of the essay. The writer closes the essay by saying: I still consider that this trend brings more benefits to the country. A clear prompt deviation that, due to this not being required in the original discussion instruction, indicates that the writer does not understand the actual line of discussion for the topic provided. This will be one of the major reasons for the failing score, regardless of word count. When an essay does not follow the discussion path as required, it cannot receive a passing score.

## the issue of international exchange for teenagers It is often said that a large number of people all around the world are drawing attention to the roll of international exchange for teenagers. In fact, there are some who hold firmly to their belief that this activity will help a lot for the students to finding out a new culture and learn more knowledge, however, others argue convincingly that this bring some drawbacks for them. As far as I am concerned, I wholeheartedly agree that international exchange bring more advantages than harm and some primary points will be addressed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are two main points for the people to defend the view that international exchange bring some disadvantages for their country and students suck as the brain drain or being under control by the adults. First of all, it is a well-documented fact that human capital flight will happen when these students feel they can develop in another country and dedicate their knowledge for that country. The most obvious example to prove is that in Vietnam, the competition name "The road to the top of Olympia" help genius students who win the game in Vietnam can study in Australia and almost of them are choose to live and work at there. Furthermore, there is no doubt that the students can easily falling into the social's vices which will destroy their future if they are not under control by their parents. For instance, base on the report provided by VnExpress.com.vn in the year 2019, the percentage of student exchange using drugs or abortion increased dramatically from above 20% to almost 40%. On the other hands, there are two evidences for others people to support the formal argument. First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that students exchange can using modern tools to support them in many majors which they cannot do in their country. A clear example being found to prove is that the students who want to learn surgery but do not have enough modern equipment to study better. Equally important, there is no denying that students who joined exchange learning activity can learn the culture about working or studying style which will help them in their study or work, from that, the country will more develop. This is supported by the fact that the working style from Japan has help Japanese develop their country into a great power. All things considered, it is my strong belief that international exchange for teenagers bring more advantages than disadvantages. Accordingly, I highly recommended that the governments should enhance people's awareness in terms of the solutions to help exchange students can easily live and study in the country they are exchange. If this recommendation is carried out, the comprehensive development of society will be ensured.

The writer has not taken his time allotment and editing considerations into account while writing this essay. The essay requires no more than 300 words as it is only a short opinion essay and not an academic research paper. He has also presented a confusing response placement that has affected the clarity of the required writing format. Either it is an extent essay or itis an A V. D comparative essay. A true task 2 essay will never combine 2 writing styles in one presentation. The writer will lose points in the TA and GRA section because of this illogical discussion presentation. The length of the essay has proven to be the main failing point of this presentation. While he did write a very wordy essay, it comes with grammar and sentence structure failures. Both of which will result in LR penalties and additional GRA deductions. These are the reasons that will contribute to a failing final score. There are other presentation deductions such as the lack of a concluding summary and offering solution where none are required which will further contribute to the scoring problems, but it is suffice to say the current observations will lead toa failing score.

***Individuals can do nothing to change society. Any new developments can only be brought about by governments and large institutions.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? There are some people asserting that social development is solely the responsibility of governments and large organizations, not of any individual. Personally, I contend that this massive undertaking requires all forces in society, from authorities to normal people. To start with, the interference of governments and influencing organizations is apparently of great importance when it comes to serious dilemmas, which need the cooperation of qualified people. For instance, when the Covid-19 spread out, the lives of millions of people, especially in developing and disadvantaged countries were threatened, even effortlessly died because of lacking healthcare conditions, medicines and vaccines. It was exactly the time for national leaders and international organizations to collaborate to save the world, to voice for the safety of people worldwide. Thanks to these organizations, we have the COVAX facility, supplying vaccines for poor countries and saving thousands of lives. Therefore, in certain circumstances, the role of leading authorities plays a key-driving force to address dilemmas most efficiently and comprehensively, where merely hands from individuals are not enough to create such significant changes. However, it would be completely wrong to undermine the power of each individual. Back to the example mentioned above, what if people are not aware of keeping safe for themselves amid the pandemic, not obeying the vaccination policies launched? All the efforts of governments would come in vain, obviously. Thus, a small gesture towards a positive and peaceful life of each individual can render the whole society better. Saying good things to each other every day, being generous, turning off energy when not using and many more small things a person can do contribute to social development in many aspects of life. A more peaceful life is exactly a positive change in society. Furthermore, human ability is unlimited, thereby creating more significant changes. Quang Linh is the most compelling example for this. Just a normal Vietnamese man, without any aid from any governments, he has helped hundreds of people in Angola to get jobs to earn for living, and brought electricity to the residents there, which the Angola government has yet managed to do. In conclusion, I believe that not only governments or institutions but also everyone from all walks of life plays a key role in bettering our society.

The writer has not responded to the question in the expected format. Although he did an excellent job in the prompt restatement section, his inability to provide an opinion that represents the measured response format was the problem with his personal opinion presentation. This error in presentation will result in a deduction in relation to the prompt format requirement. So the score for the essay will be median in consideration. Good prompt restatement, bad opinion presentation. He presented a strong thesis statement at the end, but neglected to represent the degree of his opinion prior to the reasoning foundation statement. The reasoning presentation is sound and clearly shows that the writer gave a great deal of thought to his discussion presentation. However, his paragraphs are over discussed. These long discussion points forced grammar errors in the presentation that often affected the sentence structure and clarity of the idea being presented. He has to learn to shorten his sentences / paragraphs. He must also avoid using rhetorical questions in his presentation as it tends to change the discussion focus. Opinion statements must be factual and analytical, never rhetorical. When using examples, try to not change the reference midstream. The whole discussion is based on Covid 19 response. However, the example shifted the attention to electricification. This sudden change will confuse the reader and affect the C+C score of the presentation negatively.

***Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large.*** ## Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages? Patriotism is regarded as a must-have characteristic for mankind in any era. However, some people hold the view that it can cause abysmal effects overall, while others believe that it is more of an advantageous trait which overwhelms its downside. From my point of view, I radically agree with the latter statement, which will be elaborated further in my essay. To begin with, patriotism has some negative effects. It might be abused badly by terrorists by altering residents' attitude on the government. For example, in the past, some communities were poorly educated, residents could be misled by the wrong definition of "patriotism". Terrorists can distort the truth to raise the war against government or make excuses for their illegal activities by patriotism. However, the upsides of patriotism manifestly outshine its disadvantages. Thanks to the wide uptake of cutting-edge technology, most people are kept posted as well as educated well. Therefore, hardly can patriotism be misinterpreted by people, which nearly obligates its detrimental downside. To illustrate, the daily news can help people to keep track of news about terrorism or bad religions so that they can avoid them. Moreover, patriotism can help the government with managing the country since it strengthens the relationship between government and residents. In addition, should there be any wars in the future, patriotism is the meat and potatoes for victory beside weapons. In conclusion, although each coin has two sides, it is my conviction that patriotism brings a sweeping range of profit rather than causes detrimental impacts.

It is important that no additional information that represents the writer's opinion integrates itself into the prompt restatement. The prompt restatement should only be 2 sentences long, representing the original 2 opinions. The wording regarding the importance of patriotism as a must have character should be part of the writer's opinion, representing the thesis statement of his point of view. For a stronger scoring opinion statement, the writer should present it as follows: .*..I radically agree with the latter statement BECAUSE patriotism is regarded as a must-have characteristic for mankind in any era.* The writer's opinion becomes clearer and with a stronger foundation due to the reasoning paragraph that is attached to the presentation. The reason for the opinion creates a simple understanding of what the succeeding paragraphs will be discussing. This summarized opinion statement increases the TA score each time. I need to point out though that the use of the exaggerated response "radically" agree is not necessary in this case. Not being an extent essay, there is no need for the writer to get too emotional or quantify his opinion. A simple statement will suffice were an extent is not indicated for the response. In order to avoid a wrong response format, the writer needs to get used to writing in a debate style. That means, he does not present a positive paragraph then a negative paragraph. Rather, he disproves the opposing opinion so that his opinion appears to be the correct one. Look for faults in the opinion that is not supported and present those to the reader. That is how the essay can convince the reader that his opinion is correct. It will also be following the appropriate single opinion format presentation. As of now, the writer is not presenting his opinion in the correct manner.

## trends in US meat and poultry consumption The line graph illustrates the amount of meat and poultry that US residents consumed. Overall, the amount of beef consumption was the highest, while the figure for turkey was the lowest. And the amount of broilers used experienced the fastest increase over the period shown. In 1995, the consumption of beef was the highest, at about 67 pounds and this figure for pork was lower, at 50 pounds. In 1961, the amount of the ingestion of broilers and turkey were at a low level, at just 15 pounds and 5 pounds respectively. From 1995 to 1976, the amount of beef consumption rose and reached its peak at around 90 pounds, before falling to 50 pounds in 2012. In contrast, the amount of pork ingestion fluctuated and reached the lowest rate in 1976, at 40 pounds. This figure stayed at this rate in the rest of the period. Between 1976 and 2012, broilers consumption increased significantly and peaked at 60 pounds. At the same time, the figure for turkey just remained at the same level. *

The topic summary is incomplete as it does not refer to the measurements provided being indicative of per capita consumption and type of meat consumed. The shortform is therefore inaccurate in terms of highlightable data presentation.. The word "and" being a conjunction can never be used to start a sentence as there are no clauses or phrases to connect in the sentence. Having used it in the trending paragraph shows a lack of sentence structure knowledge and will contribute to GRA deductions. Paragraph presentations must have an almost uniform 3-5 sentence presentation to meet maximum C + C scoring considerations. 2 sentences never comprise an academic paragraph or professional reporting presentation as it shows a lack of or limited information analysis in relation to the data. The writer has an idea of how the task should be presented but has a problem meeting grammar and sentence structure rules.

## the quantities of goods transported in the UK The line graph illustrates the amount of goods which is transported in the United Kingdom over the course of 28 years starting in 1974 via four various kinds of transport namely road, water, rail and pipeline. Looking at the graph, it can be immediately obvious that merchandise delivered by road, water and pipeline experienced an upward trend, with the exception of rail. Another interesting point is that road is the most popular transport over the period shown. In 1974, around 70 million tonnes of merchandise were shipped by road, in contrast to only about 5 million tonnes goods by pipeline. The figures for water and rail were the same at around 40 million. Having fluctuated slightly , the quantities of goods transported via road reached a peak of about 100 million in 2002. The figure for goods delivered by water was 65 million compared with only 40 million of rail. Although the quantities remained the lowest among the four kinds of transport, the amount of goods loaded by pipeline witnessed a steady increase to over 20 million in the same year. *

Avoid writing an extremely long, multiple idea, single sentence summary. Doing so will cause confusion for your reader as too much information in a single presentation makes it extremely difficult to understand and keep track of. This particular summary overview required 3 individual sentences. That means 1 sentence per piece of information. 1 data presentation per sentence is the age old norm for basic English writing skills. The current recap format will receive a failing score in 2 sections: C + C and GRA. Do not ask the reader to look at the graph. They should not need to do that since your report should accurately, through the use of academic and descriptive words, explain the image information. The understanding is that there is no image reference on the part of the reader. That reference is point reducing in terms of accuracy considerations.

## Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society Nowadays, some people presume that sports have a big impact on the progression of society, while others have different points of view. In this essay, I will discuss the rationales behind both views and showing why I favor the former. On the one hand, some people think that sports are nothing than a leisure activity because they focus on many things that they consider it important. Adults ought to spend their time taking care of family, accomplishing their career goal, earning money. Therefore, they don't tend to consume too much time on sports which can be useful for their job. Another reason is that some people don't know how sports affect positively on their body. Physical exercises improve the health and reduce the risk of developing several undesirable diseases like diabetes, cancer, skeletal problems. Also, if you do the exercises regularly, your lifespan will be longer. However, I agree that sports play a crucial role for the development of society. The healthier people are, the more productive they will be. Scientists claim that sports enhance both mental and physical health. For instance, playing football with friends after hard-working days will relax your mind and strengthen the stamina. As a result, it will boost your work performance considerably. Furthermore, sports bring many benefits and gain an enormous amount of profit. Some big sport events draw a lot of attentions all over the world, stimulate the tourism industry and create thousands of jobs and opportunities for locals. To illustrate an example, the world cup 2018 attracted 1.5 million tourists within a month. Also, Russia earned 30 billion dollars from the events. In conclusion, it is obvious that sports bring many benefits to citizens' health and the evolution of society. Some people think differently because they don't understand the values behind a leisure activity.

There is a misconception that the discussion instructions need to be restated in the first paragraph.This is totally incorrect as the standard format for the paragraph is as follows: Prompt restatement + writer's opinion Nowhere in the paragraph format does the instruction state the need to repeat the writing instructions. The writer merely needs to state his point of view after rephrasing the 2 public views. These 3 sentences will be the basis of the TA score which considers the writers opinion for scoring. It does not consider a repeat of the instructions as it is not a formatting nor scoring requirement. No additional points will be awarded in this case. The writer has not clearly separated and developed the 2 public opinions. The first reasoning paragraph lacks proper discussion development. A compressed discussion was presented for both ideas without the proper use of transition tools. The overall presentation is problematic in this case and may suffer a failing score because of it. The author will do well to learn how to write using the more appropriate style of: Public opinion > Why it is supported > Personal opinion (in favor/not in favor ) > Reason > Example > Transition to next paragraph The discussions can be clearly accomplished within 2 reasoning paragraphs using this format.

## The graph below shows the changes in food consumption by Chinese people between 1985 and 2010. ***Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** Answer: The chart compared Chinese consumption in terms of food products such as meat, salt, and fish from 1985 to 2010. In general, Chinese people added fish to their nutrition more than either salt or meat over the period shown. In addition, while there are increases in the consumption of meat and fish, consumers significantly remove salt from their meals. As can be seen, in the beginning, fish pointed out the highest amount of 600 grams per person per week. The figure for eating fish reached a peak of 850 grams in 2000 after experiencing many years up and down. Coming next, a Chinese person absorbed 500 grams of salt a week, but then the amount witnessed a non-stop decline to 200 grams in 2010. In contrast, starting with 100 grams, meat gradually grew over the 25 following years with the same figure compared to salt Can you help me assess the correctness, clarity, and cohesion of my essay? Thank you so much!

The writer wrote only 146 out of the required minimum of 150 words. There will be percentage deductions for the missing word count. Always remember to keep track of the word count when drafting the essay. Each paragraph must have a minimum 3, but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. The writer will also need to develop 3 clear reporting paragraphs for the essay. Meeting these 2 requirements will guarantee that the 150 count will be met at a minimum or a little more than minimum level.A task 1 essay can never have only 2 paragraphs. These must count 3 paragraphs for single image presentation, and 4 paragraphs whenever 2 images must be compared. These are the reasons why the essay does not meet the minimum requirements for a passing score. There is no clear summary overview and trending statement. It appears that the writer ommitted these from the presentation in favor of direct reporting paragraphs. What the writer thought was a summary and trending presentation was actually fulfilling the reporting requirements already. So it cannot be considered a summary even though he tried to word it as such. Without the summary overview and trending statement, the essay will be deemed under developed and following an incorrect writing format.

## the unpopularity of farming work It is true that there are fewer young people working in agriculture in recent years. There are a number of reasons for this trend, and in my opinion young people should be fostered to work in agriculture. There are two important reasons why so few young people choose to do farming work. Firstly, In the view point of most young people, farming jobs are associated with hard work and poverty. Farming work requires people to do manual labor for a long time to take care of the plants. Moreover, if the Weather conditions are not favorable on those is a serious disaster such as a flood, the farmer will be likely suffer heavy losses. Secondly, with the development of the national economy and technology, farmers is no longer a remarkable career choice. Nowadays, young people have a lot of career choices that are less hard, earn more and more stable than farming. In particular, the younger generation now enjoys a full education and they always aiming for mental labor jobs. However, I think it is essential to encourage young people to do farming work because of two main reasons. The main one is to keep the farming industry alive. In some agricultural countries, for example Vietnam, the agriculture plays an role in the national economy, not only to supply to people in the country, but also to export abroad. The survival of agriculture is very important in such countries, so it is necessary to encourage the young to work in this field to ensure its existence. Furthermore today's young generation enjoy a full education, so they have broad knowledge and understanding, which help them to have useful initiatives for the agricultural industry. They can invent and use modern technologies for farming, which can help increase work efficiency and avoid many risks. In conclusion, there are some clear reasons for young people not to choose a job in agriculture, and I think it is necessary to encourage them to do farming work.

An accurate prompt topic restatement will not include the writer's opinion as to whether or not the proposed topic is true or false. It should merely reword the original presentation without additional information that has no basis in the original presentation. This is the first score reduction that will be applied to the prompt restatement section. As for the writer's personal opinion + thesis statement, The writer only responded directly to one of 2 questions, making the response sentence incomplete in representation. Only a partial score may be applied to the response due to the lack of first question response. The writer must directly respond to the questions provided by indicating his clear opinion and why, 2 response criterias that are provided with scoring considerations. The writer shows an understanding of the first question and responds quite well to it. His ideas are clear although the sentence structure is faulty (throughout the essay). He has a problem with his singular v. plural references and has capitalized a word that is not classified as a noun. These are GRA problems that will result in a failing to low passing GRA assessment. A redundancy can be seen in the writing of the exam taker. two important reasons and two main reasons are highly similar in presentation, a problem that could affect the LR score negatively for this test. In the concluding statement, the writer changes from a sense of conviction for his opinion to uncertainty. This contradicts his previous establishing opinion statement and will affect the TA score of the essay in a reducing manner.

## young people respect more international VIP's than known historical figures In today's world, there is a pervasive phenomenon that young people are more concerned with international celebrities than prominent historical figures in their countries. The essay below will analyze the causes of the tendency and also put forward several feasible solutions to it. This issue could be attributed to two main culprits. First of all, it is an array of tedious lectures at school that gradually destroy students' interest in studying history and its related figures. Admittedly, rote learning is becoming increasingly popular among students who are to get high marks, particularly in History. They are required to memorize a myriad of dry facts and figures, which are tiresome and irrelevant to their daily life. Another compelling factor is the prolific appearance of pop-culture superstars on virtually all forms of media. They, performing with lively and charming images or sounds, seem to grab more attention from teenagers. There are, however, some measures that should be considered to curb the problem. First, schools should try innovating the history curriculum as well as teaching methods. Creative and practical features added will help the lessons become more engaging, inspiring and edifying. Second, film studios could be sponsored by governments to produce more historical masterpieces. These actions may allow students to gain fascinating insight into the national history, realize how heroic and respectful their forefathers were, evoke the young's pride and passion to learn more and to devote themselves to the history one day. In conclusion, it is assumed that young people are becoming indifferent to historical figures and favor the glamor of famous stars. Given the reasons for the tendency, the proposed solutions should be considered thoroughly to tackle the problem.

The prompt restatement is fine. The opinion statement is non-existent as there are no responses to the 2 direct questions provided. The writer merely restated the discussion questions in this section which is not the same as providing the direct response to each question. The writer's opinion in this case, should be replaced by a 2 sentence thesis statement that outlines the upcoming discussion. The first paragraph provides incomplete discussion representations and will not receive full scoring merit for the presentation due to lack of formatting compliance. Both discussion aspects do not have fully developed explanations since there are 2 reasons provided without any proper transition or connecting comments. These tend to create disconnected paragraphs, resulting in under developed or little represented discussion points. Again, full scores cannot be provided for the paragraphs due to lack of explanation development.

***Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. In this time and age, it is more accessible to approach Art in various ways. While some argue that Art is one of the sources providing the goal and meaning of lives, it is believed by others that it may put humans in the illusion from reality. Arts help people to survive. Hard times or obstacles are inevitable throughout our lives. To overcome those difficulties, arts are some tools to save you from the deep end of dwelling. Arts can be performed in a wide variety of ways, in which humans experience different feelings in the process. Take music as an example, some light music can lift you up and boost your mood. Painting is another example to illustrate, which is a method to express your heart and intrinsic thought. During the creation of Arts, people can be triggered to think in another, or even entirely different perspective, which instead is creating the meaning of life. On the contrary, some may hold the view that Arts are a waste of time. Enjoying Arts, not to say creating them, is time-consuming and may cost a lot. Some people, the underprivileged in particular, lead a hectic life to make a living. They could barely support and maintain their daily life by busy work, let alone enjoy the additional entertainments like Arts, namely, visiting gallery or exhibition to understand the message that the creator or composer delivers, or purchase different tools to create their own art pieces. In my point of view, Arts differ significantly between people from all walks of life. It depends on your capability and wealthiness. After all, money provides humans with the freedom and space to escape from reality in the form of Arts. Thus, I believe that Arts are a kind of distraction of life, but in a good way if you are wealthy enough.

It will be better for the exam taker to avoid using memorized and exaggerated phrases such as "In this time and age". There is no reason for this statement to be present in the paragraph because it does not have any bearing on the actual topic. Connecting this phrase with the original statement was certainly an ineffective stretch on the part of the writer. Now, while the writer does provide a pretty much accurate restatement of the original topics, the missing personal opinion left the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph incomplete in terms of response format. The writer should make sure that he accomplishes all the task requirements for the first paragraph at all times. The writer has provided good discussion paragraphs. The problem, is that the writer forgot to write up a proper concluding summary for the essay, thus forcing a failing score due to the lack of a closing statement. The essay was good, but incorrectly formatted. A personal opinion is not acceptable as a concluding presentation.

***Nowadays, a lot of offices have open-space designs instead of separate rooms.*** ## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? In recent years, numerous enterprises have been adopting open-space layouts in lieu of closed workplaces. In my opinion, although this propensity has proven its upsides, they are somehow eclipsed by a whole host of drawbacks. It is true that the former is beneficial to the staff regarding their interaction and quality of work. First of all, this type of layout might prompt interpersonal communication among the employees, ameliorating both their mental and emotional well-being. Engaging in conversations, or exchanging ideas with others, in fact, might alleviate their working stress, and therefore improve their work productivity. Second, working in open space enables the staff to establish and maintain relationships with other co-workers. To illustrate, people in varied departments can not only share equipment and resources such as printers or stationery, but there might also be more scope for fruitful team-working projects. As a result, social bondings in the whole company would be engendered, inspiring and enhancing their working environment. Nonetheless, the aforementioned merits pale in comparison with the downsides, as a shared workplace is not private enough and might be hard for the staff to focus on their work in one way or another. In terms of privacy, the higher number of people in a given space could be responsible for the feeling of unpleasantness and embarrassment. This kind of design renders employees less comfortable when working or answering confidential emails. In addition, the staff have to contend with such a high level of distractions, for example, from phone ringing or people talking. These elements might in turn interfere with their working, minimizing their focus and engagement in work. Finally, the fact that people are situated closer together might exert a threat on their health due to the increasing potential rate of infection. This may cause more absence from work, which may worsen the overall productivity. In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that the upsides of the idea of open-space offices are overshadowed by its limitations.

The writer shows a high level of academic writing through his use of college level words and sentence representations. These will prove to be beneficial to his scores in relation to LR and C+C structures. The examiner will acknowledge the higher writing level of this exam taker accordingly by reflecting it in relevant scoring segments. However, it will be better if the writer avoids making statements of fact in these essays. As these essays generally represent a common public opinion, it is more advisable to use a general statement reference unless instructed to "discuss both views and give your opinion". It is only this latter instruction that receives better scoring consideration when aimed at providing a truthful opinion of a public statement. The writer should also provide a better reverse paraphrase in the concluding summary. At less than 40 words and lacking in the 2 sentence requirement, the score that the current conclusion provides will not help increase the overall score.

## Nowadays, films are no longer made by big companies only It is true that the advancement of digital technology facilitates the process of making films, which allows not only big organizations but also ordinary people to create fascinating films currently. Although there are some drawbacks, I would argue that its merits are much more considerable. On the one hand, I believe that when videos are produced by an unprofessional filmmaker, several problems can be anticipated. Initially, viewers such as youngsters or children may be exposed to inappropriate videos in terms of violence or offense, leading to many detrimental effects on them. This is due to the fact that while companies specializing in this industry have to testify to the quality of films before publishing in the society, films produced by individuals may not have to undergo censorship. Furthermore, there are numerous websites, apps, and technical devices that enable people to create their videos, triggering copyright infringement. If independent filmmakers do not obey the regulations and they imitate others' ideas, they may be sued for this fault that results in compromising their profits as well as their reputation. On the other hand, despite the drawbacks mentioned above, I am of the opinion that it is a positive trend. First of all, this phenomenon enables freelancers to fulfill their dream and participate in this field. In the past, only film companies were able to create films because they were equipped with many modern and dedicated facilities supporting their jobs. Nevertheless, nowadays people are able to make a video with their own mobile phone or computer, which demonstrates the fact that it is a favorable environment for talented people to develop and have more opportunities for designing and writing their own stories. In addition, making films freely could expand the variety of genres or topics, which assist the public to enhance their knowledge and broaden their horizons about new aspects. While big organizations concentrate more on the prominent types of films that appeal to a huge number of audiences, people working freely could share their daily activities, or their own stories to encourage other people. In conclusion, while I agree that free filmmakers can cause several demerits such as improper content or violating copyright, this trend also offers people several benefits. In particular, many individuals could pursue their dreams and create more hilarious videos for the viewers.

Restate the prompt topic accurately without providing any opinion. The topic restatement loses accuracy when the writer claims "accuracy" at this point. It changes the basis of the discussion from a restatement to an opinion sentence in the wrong part of the paragraph. This will result in point deductions as the topic focus has changed from a public opinion to a personal insight of the writer. The personal insight can only be shared in the thesis statement or discussion paragraphs, not before then. The writer has used a comparative discussion which does not suit the required discussion format. Where "Discuss both views" or "compare and contrast both views" is not given as a part of the discussion requirement, the writer is expected to provide 2 supporting reasons for his opinion within 2 reasoning paragraphs. He is not allowed to do a comparative presentation as this will result in the non-supporting opinion weakening the clarity of the writer's opinion. This could very well result in the opposing opinion not receiving any marks and, the essay being perceived as under developed and therefore, not suited to receive a passing score.

***It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the Internet.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? Stepping into the 21st century, it is not much-needed for people to visit destinations to learn about the cultural beauty. Instead, it is highly recommended that people learn the cultures and traditions via books, films along with the internet. From my perspective, I partly subscribe to the notion above for some prime reasons as follows. On the one hand, there are some compelling justifications why people could totally widen their horizons about the cultures' values of many places by using books, films and social networking sites. First and foremost, learning about cultures through reading books or using the internet is extremely affordable to the majority of the population. It is clearly explained that both conventional documents as well as the internet nowadays obviously not only comprise a great deal of information related to cultures and traditions in places but also are reasonably priced to humankind. As a result, people do not need to allocate much money on their visits to a range of places or nations in the world with a view to learning. For instance, only by reading books and surfing the internet regularly do candidates of The Olympia competition in Vietnam perfectly accomplish numerous challenging questions about cultures as well as languages of many nations. Secondly, learning from books or videos together with the internet also helps individuals to save time efficiently. This is because people these days usually suffer from heavy workloads and deadlines, as a result, they find it difficult to invest a long time in traveling. Therefore, learning cultures online and reading documents could be deemed sensible to them. On the other hand, I also firmly think that it is quite essential for humans to contemplate the cultures and traditions of different countries by visiting because of two basic reasons. First of all, traveling to an array of destinations could bring visitors realistic experiences; therefore, they could deeply comprehend the core value of each culture genre. For example, when Vietnamese schools take their students to Bat Trang village, students could have a chance to try hard to make a product based on their creativity. By contrast, only learning from course books could not help them to attain any experiences like this. Last but not least, learning the cultures and traditions of numerous areas could be considered a recreational activity for someone. In fact, besides being exposed to a sheer number of different cultures along with gaining practical experiences, travelers also release anxiety significantly after working hard by enjoying the natural beauty of each landscape in these areas. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both visiting different destinations and using books, videos along with the internet can give people an aid to widen their knowledge about the culture of each place. Thus, it is suggested that individuals should make use of two types of learning to gain more benefits from them.

There is no reference to the 21st century in the original topic. A strong recommendation does not exist as a prior reason either. Both prompt resetatement references are irrelevant and cannot be considered a part of the rewording since these particular information are not indicated in the original presentation. The writer has also provided an incorrect response format as a measured response was used, indicative of a "to what extent" discussion, rather than the definite discussion opinions as referenced in the question. The opening paraphrase + personal opinion will receive a failing preliminary score that will be added to the overall score. The comparative discussion format that the writer chose to use in the reasoning paragraphs is irrelevant as that type of format does not respond to the question provided. The overall approach to the writing cannot be accepted by the examiner, who is looking for the proper response format in the presentation. The writer was again in error in the summary conclusion when a repeat of the extent statement was used as the foundation for the paragraph. The overall score cannot be a passing one due to response and formatting errors found throughout the presentation.

***Oscar Wilde once wrote, "We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities." In an essay to be read by an audience of educated adults, state whether you agree or disagree with Wilde's observation.*** ## Support your position with logical arguments and specific examples. Answer: I agree with Oscar Wilde's statement. I believe we live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities. For example, smartphones are our necessities today. However, we lived without smartphones ten years ago. Two main reasons make smartphones so popular. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the details and give specific examples. First, smartphones have various entertainments, such as video games, movie apps, photo editors, etc. These entertainments make our lives joyful. We can use smartphones to play video games online with people all over the work. This feeling is amazing, especially after our stressful work. For example, the football video game on smartphones is very realistic. Having a game with friends is the most popular activity for football fans. Second, smartphones contain many tools, such as the calculator, clock, notebook, etc. We no longer carry a heavy bag with all the tools. We can also read our textbooks on our smartphones. So, the smartphone saves our environment. For example, to produce paper books, millions of trees are cut down every year. To produce the plastic equipment, the air and water are polluted. Smartphones reduce the pollution caused by production. Smartphones have replaced traditional equipment and have become our necessities today. This is perfect proof that supports Oscar Wilde's statement.

In the case of a CBEST expressive aim essay, the writer must do his best to write a 5 paragraph essay. The number of paragraphs will allow him to fully express his ideas in a manner that gives him room to develop his presentation. The high scoring rewards come fully developed 4-5 paragraphs, with 5 paragraphs offering the best scoring potential. The thesis statement for this essay is weak. The writer does not clearly state the reasons he will be expanding upon in the essay. The writer stops short of thoroughly presenting acceptable reasons as the basis of the discussion. This has limited the clarity of the paragraph. As the writer is trying to become an educator in California,I have to say that he failed to achieve his aim. The writing sounds like an ESL high school level student wrote the paper rather than a trained educator. The tone and reasoning is too juvenile for the target audience.

## choosing career for youngsters future The issue that youngsters have freedom of choosing their favorite career has long sparked bitter controversy. While others hold the view that concentrating on realistic and their future is more important. It is widely maintained that the issue has both pros and cons. This essay will elaborate upon both views of this issue in more detail. On the one side, young adults have freedom to get a job that base on their individual's interest. They always feel happy with what they do, as a result. they can find motivation easily to create more ideas, try their best to complete all things in work. The chosen job suits their personality, they can manage time to go to work. Furthermore, young people can maintain healthy relationship with their fellowships. Hence, thinking and choosing career based on their interest or passion freely is necessary to enhance motivation in life. On the other side, selecting a job realistically can ensure people's career growth and future job opportunities. Thus, in modernized society, various companies and organizations need more employees, as a result the more jobs are created that have positions for youngsters with high paying and long term source of income. Basing on realistically selecting a job in developing field or industry currently is suitable for working people. All things considered, everyone can freely choose job that they want or realistically. Therefore, they should be wise to select job that ensure for their growth in the future and lead a fulfilling as well as a satisfying career.

The first paragraph contains several reference errors that will force the examiner to award a failing TA score to the paragraph. The first, is the incorrect reference to a "bitter controversy" where none was presented in the original. The examiner expects the writer to restate the topic without any exaggerations that will alter the original topic presentation. This exaggerated reference, which is unsupported in the original will result in percentage deductions. The writer is also referring to "pros and cons" which is another unsupported claim that totally alters the discussion instructions for this essay. More deductions will apply. The writer's opinion is also missing from the prompt restatement, which is a requirement for the thesis statement of this paragraph. The failure of the writer to comply with the restatement requirements and opinion presentation format has also created an overall failing score for this piece. I need not review it further.

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree.? It is true that the number of teenagers commting crime has drastically in created in recent years. Personally, I completely disagree with the idea that strict punishments for juvenile delinquents are the same as other offenders. On the one hand, strict punishment of young criminals may have adverse effects. to be precise, they are still too young to fully understand the consequence of breaking the law and the danger of a criminal lifestyle. Therefore, they can not responsible for what they did as the seriousness of their criminal act. Furthermore, teenagers couldn't evaluate their decision wisely because they tend to be seduced by their toxic friends and harassment by other adults. On the other hand, I believe that adolescents could be remorseful for what they had done and turn their lives around if we educate their mindset about their crimes. One option would be rather than sending them to prison where serious criminals are living, they should let to stay in reformatory schools, where they can rehabilitate physiology and continue their studies. For instance, if we teach them positive aspects of life and encourage them that they still have a chance to become normal, productive members of society. Another option would be allowing ex-prisoners to speak to young people about what happens if they keep following the criminal lifestyle. In conclusion, treating juvenile delinquents like other crimes may make them suffer from psychological problems. I am convinced that other measures such as reformatory schools should also be introduced. Hello, could you please point out my mistakes and calculate a band score for this essay? Thank you

Band score estimates are provided as a part of our private services. Kindly contact us privately to inquire about it. Students who might want to score this essay should think twice as it will result in account suspension on their part. Why are you admitting to the truth of a claim when the original topic is merely referencing this as an idea among a small group of supporters? Such reference creates an incorrect prompt restatement and will result in deductions based on topic statement inaccuracy. This will lower the TA score even as the writer's opinion was properly presented even as the reasoning summary is not given by the writer. The reasoning topics being present in this paragraph would have boosted the TA score due to opinion clarity. The writer will only receive a score for the paragraph that supports his opinion presentation. As this is not a comparative essay but rather, a single opinion presentation, the reasoning paragraphs should have both supported the writer's opinion in this debate. The reason? It will prove the writer's opinion to be correct as it is based on believable supporting statements. The non-supporting paragraph will not receive a score. The end result? The essay will receive a score based on a partially developed discussion.

## **The graph below shows the birds' population in Europe from 1977 to 2001.** *(This is a topic and the line graph is below )* The graph give data on the bird population has changed in Europe , during the span of 24 years period from 1997 to 2001. Overall, the number of birds decreased by 30 millions of the amount , in the early of the time span it was increased a bit but after that they were inclined to fell out dramatically in the latter one. In 1997, the number of birds grew up approximately to 130 millions.Meanwhile , after that period they were tend to diminished by 99 percent of the total decreased amount in a dangerous way from 1980 to 1986. Thereafter , they accelerated to 7 millions quantity next 3 years . From the beginning of 1989 , they're continue dropped out and the number is lower than a previous period . In 1992 , the number of birds slightly increased by 2 millions . In the final 6 years , this number fell off from 96 millions to 90 millions. *

A task 1 essay always has a 3 paragraph requirement. 4 paragraphs are presented when reporting using 2 images. So, while the presentation met the word requirement, the format is still incorrect. Points will still be deducted based on formatting reasons. Always present: - Summary overview + trending statement (combined in a single paragraph) - First grouped topic report - second grouped topic report The format above is a standard presentation format that you can use even in a 2 image report. You cannot go wrong when you use this format so memorize it. The English sentence structures are elementary and with obvious ESL word usage problems. I am confident though that the student will show grammar improvements over time, provided he dedicates himself to improving his language skills. I say this because the writer got his message across even while using elementary English words for his sentences.

***Question: It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals.*** ## Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages? Many people believe that children should be taught how to plant agricultural produce and raise animals in elementary schools. Although there are some drawbacks of this proposal, I would argue that the benefits are much greater. The main disadvantage of this idea relates to the guarantee of children's safety and health. When they come in direct contact with certain types of animals, vegetables, and soils, they would be exposed to viruses, germs, and harmful bacteria which could be dangerous pathogens, causing the increase of children's diseases. For example, when doing farm, children could be allergic to animals' fur or feathers, leading to a threat to respiratory distress. Another drawback is its feasibility. The physical toil of cultivating plants and taking care of animals may be too much for students to learn and handle, while teachers struggle to ensure the synchronous program to teach and manage their students. Despite this, I believe the aforementioned disadvantages pale in comparison with the huge upside that could be gained from children learning how to farm and keep animals. Firstly, being engrossed in horticulture and livestock activities enhances the primary students' life skills, specifically positive social and interpersonal skills. In other words, they can learn how to cooperate and communicate with their mates, which is of great importance in their social cognition. Secondly, these activities help children instill a variety of valuable virtues in children such as independence, patience, and empathy. For example, children always take care of their plants every day through a range of activities: drilling, watering, fertilizing, and so on, which helps them foster their patience and heighten their sense of responsibility and their appreciation of farmers' work. This can promote the children's eating desire and hone a better awareness of protecting the flora and fauna. The last is that farming can be an effective alternative pursuit measure to prevent the kids' sedentary activities playing video games or overusing the Internet. In conclusion, while I recognize some disadvantages of this idea, I firmly believe that the benefits of teaching children how to cultivate vegetables and keep animals are much more significant because of the contribution to the full physical and mental development of children, which is certainly useful in later life regardless of their occupation or lifestyles.

Please try not to overwrite in the essays. The rule of thumb is to produce no more than 308 words for the essay. The scores are based on the concise, meaning short, but clear explanations of supporting reasons. It will be difficult to replicate this kind of writing in a40 menute test that focuses on several scoring considerations. The word count is not included in the scoring. Good work in the restatement + opinion presentation. It is acceptable but will not receive the bonus points applied for having actual reasons indicated as a part of the thesis statement. Always aim for additional clarity in this section for that purpose. The reasons provided are not cohesive. These do not represent valid discussion points since the writer was not able to provide opposing reasons that prove the stated disadvantages are actually advantages. That is the expected discussion route for this essay format. The error was in the first reasoning paragraph as it relates to children's health. Had the focus been on farmwork, then the 2 paragraphs would have had a better connection.

## Internet users as percentage of population The line graph compares the number of internet users in three countries: USA, Canada and Mexico from 1999 to 2009. It is clear that, the figure for the number of people who used internet in three countries all increased throughout the years with Canada witnessed the highest rise in the number of internet users. In 1999, USA had the highest percentage of internet users with around 20% meanwhile both Canada and Mexico only had 20% and 10% respectively. In 2005, the figure for both USA and Canada users of internet rose dramatically to approximately 70%. Whereas, Mexico saw a steady grow from 10% in 1999 to around 25% in 2005. By 2009, Canada experienced an upsurge in the number of internet users to nearly 100%, exceeding its counterpart - USA, while Internet users in USA witnessed a gradual growth to about 75% and Mexico to nearly 40%. *

In the summary overview, the information regarding the list of countries in relation to the years indicated should have been separated through the use of a comma. The reason? The information in the sentence is related but refers to different areas of connected information. With the trending statement, the writer creates a confusing time reference through the sentence set up referring to current movement, then suddenly shifting to past movement. This coherence error occurred twice in this presentation. These must consistently be presented in previous time reference settings since the years and actions have already taken place. The writer needs to learn more about punctuation usage in relation to grammar clarity. He often neglects to use a comma or period, or other forms of punctuation throughout the essay. Lack of proofreading left these errors in place where, in an actual test, the errors would result in direct GRA point deductions. Editing and finalizing the content after the first writing will often reduce these errors and deductions.

## The Blend of Traditional and Modern Medicine It is true that there is an increasing number of people who endure various kinds of illnesses and many of which cannot be cured by contemporary medicines due to the modern lifestyle. Therefore, some people claim that it is time to shift towards traditional medicines. From my perspective, people should maintain the use of modern medicines. On the one hand, there are some reasons that traditional medicines can be beneficial to some extent. The main one is that most of the local drugs are much safer for people's well-being since they contain natural medicinal herbs. Recent research has shown that these medicines cause little or no side effects on patients thanks to their natural components. Traditional medicines are likely to effectively treat many different illnesses, however, it takes a relatively long period of time to recover completely. Thus, some people lose their patience to continue taking traditional medicines. On the other hand, it is undeniable that the fast-paced progression of modern medicine brings various advantages. Firstly, these medicines are always strictly censored by qualified people in National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control before hitting the market, meaning that people's health will be guaranteed based on clinical evidence and science. Secondly, contemporary medicines have the ability to cure some illnesses caused by a sedentary lifestyle. A person who suffers from obesity can use Orlistat for restraining their eating habits, which is one of the treatments recommended by FDA and other specialists, for example. In conclusion, while I agree with the view that traditional drugs are advantageous in some cases, I still maintain that the most effective way to fight illnesses should be modern medicines. In my opinion, it would be better if people combine treatment with both traditional and modern medicines as each remedy has its own merit.

Do not get into the habit of affirming statements within the opening sentence of of the restatement. It unnecessarily changes the discussion topic foundation as it is not a statement included in the first version. It creates a slight topic redirection and will cause deductions in the presentation. Stick to a restatement that does not offer a change in topic focus or foundation. For basic opinion idea rephrasing, use only 3 - 4 sentences: - Reword the idea - Give your opinion - State the 2 basis of your opinion separately The essay is problematic in the sense that the writer is opposing his own opinion in the 1st reasoning paragraph. As the topic covers a single opinion presentation, his defense of his belief must be based on I strongly supported and explained reasons. Beyond the idea of using specific linking words and other word usage considerations, the main scores will come from the clarity of the opinion as supported by cohesive paragraphs. The cohesiveness disappears when the discussion fails to link both explanatory paragraphs to the writers opinion through related discussion points and transition sentences/ words. In my opinion, it would be better if ...has its own merit This is a misplaced statement. Being an establishing opinion reason statement, it should be placed at the end of the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph as it greatly adds to the basis (clarity) of the writers opinion. It is a stronger and more convincing statement than the currently presented opinion presentation. IHad this thesis statement been used early on, the current comparative format would have been perfect for the discussion and produced a high score due to the avoidance of conflicting discussion points in the discussion paragraphs.

## allowing ex-prisoners talk with youth to prevent crime It is true that offenders after rehabilitation could indeed be good citizens, and allowing these people to talk to teenagers is the best way to help students gather knowledge about the crime. While I agree with this opinion, I believe that there is still a better method to discourage young people from committing a crime In my opinion, ex-prisoner have a real experience of crime because are they underwent a long process from committing a crime to imprisonment and becoming free citizens. Therefore they had many experiences with the criminal lifestyle, how they became a criminal and how remorseful they are. While adolescents use to be reluctant to take advice from adults and tend to do the opposite. This method may educate students about the seriousness of crime so they can understand the hazards that are associated with crime. However, I believe there is still a better solution. One option would be to let police officers visit schools to talk about crime issues. If the policeman talks to students about the danger of breaking the law, teenagers are still knowledgeable about crime without being shocked by the reality. Another option would be to introduce crime as a subject at school. Criminology will be a credible source of information and through this subject, students can have a holistic view of crime. Finally, crime short films could help teenagers imagine the daily life of prisoners. Therefore they would be keen to see the reality of life in incarceration In conclusion, although people who undergo imprisonment could help to deter young people from committing crimes. I believe we should introduce criminology into the education curriculum - I need help with my Ielts writing task 2 this is the topic Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Many thanks

The summary restatement is incorrect in format because the first sentence includes an attestation where it is not needed. The truth of the statement is not something that is required by the original discussion, nor is it a part of the original presentation. As this is a part of the writer's personal opinion, it should be included in the personal opinion sentence or, turned into a topic sentence for the reasoning paragraphs. The writer's personal opinion is also problematic as it does not respond using the required format. Rather than saying "while I agree..." the more appropriate format is: *I find that I am partially in support of this statement. That is because my personal analysis of the situation tells me that there is still a better method to discourage young people from committing a crime.* The aforementioned opinion accomplishes 2 things: - Offers the writer's extent response in a clear manner - Indicates the basis of the succeeding discussion paragraphs Both of these criteria will help the essay gain a better accuracy score since the opinion of the writer will have a strong foundation in terms of discussion paragraphs. His opinion is very clear to the writer in terms of extent and discussion presentation. There is no need to explain why having criminals talk to young people will work. The point of the essay is to successfully defend your extent response. That means, expanding on the need to introduce crime prevention in the curriculum and, why police officers should be one of the main speakers when it comes to explaining the repercussions of crime to teenagers. The discussion is lacking in proper focus and development since the first reason is not supportive of the writer's opinion. Only one of 2 reasoning paragraphs will receive scoring consideration in this case. These are the problems that will prove to be score reducing for the student. These could very well prevent him from receiving a passing score or, merely receiving a base passing score. Either way, the student needs to have more understanding of how the response format works in terms of scoring considerations.

***Being able to speak a foreign language is an advantage these days. Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school, while others think children should begin in secondary school.*** ## Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Some experts think that the best time for young people to learn a new language is at primary school. While this could bring many benefits and drawbacks. I believe that the advantages are far more than the disadvantages. Learning a foreign language at primary could have some possible disadvantages. Firstly, it could be a waste of time since children need to focus on other subjects such as math, science, and their own mother tongue language, which they might need it more than the foreign one. Secondly, children may get confused because of learning many languages at the same time and this could have a negative impact on their development. For example, it is claimed that bilingual children develop the ability to talk more slowly than monolingual kids. On the other hand, I think that children learn faster at a young age because they are less self-conscious and shy. So they can easily pick up the right pronunciation and try to copy it. Furthermore, children enjoy practicing languages through games. Thus, learning and copying others could be fun in itself for them. In other words, for children learning languages is not a hard task as it is for adults. In addition, languages nowadays are as important as science and math. Acquiring an international language like English could be very important for young people to get better job opportunities in the future. In conclusion, it seems to me that the benefits of teaching children foreign languages as soon as possible outweigh the drawbacks.

The prompt restatement needs more accuracy. The exam taker is expected to rephrase the whole of the original discussion in his writing. It cannot be limited in scope as this will alter the original presentation and create a different discussion target as required. The student has created a selective prompt restatement which will lead to deductions in the score for the restatement section. Although he did present a personal opinion within the same paragraph, it is the lack of proper statement representation that will result on the preliminary score being based on an unrelated discussion. There are several missing key points from the restatement that affected the succeeding presentations in relation to the examiner expected discussion format. As such, the essay will only receive a score for the personal opinion provided. That is 1 out of 3 required discussion representations. This is not a passing score essay. The writer must familiarize himself with the 2 writing approaches to this type of essay. Either he discusses based on the public opinion + personal point of view or, he presents his opinion as a 3rd paragraph after explaining why the public supports each opinion. This type of discussion cannot be based on a personal opinion alone. He must also realize that when a discussion of both opinions and a personal opinion are required, the essay cannot use the A v. D approach because that is not the discussion format stated in the original. It is quite possible that the writer is not yet familiar with the various writing styles for the task 2 essay so more familiarity, through reading of various prompts and sample responses is definitely needed. He knows how to present his ideas. It is the way of presenting the ideas in relation to the instructions that prove to be faulty and the cause of the failure of his essay.

***Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.*** ## Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Stepping into the 21st century, not only does technological advance provided inexpensive and efforless to equip allow all sorts of employers access to distant working, but it also facilitates the young a virtual classroom approached from home. I believe that inhabitants all over the world benefit from advanced technologies. To commence, human beings effectively avoid the attack of risky infectious pleagues thanks to the use of technologies. Without daily touching and having a conversation to others, those who work and study at home hardly face up with the capacity of dangerous germs which live through lungs and kidneys in the vast majority. For instance, due to the outbreaking of Covid-19 pandemic, Vietnamese governing agencies have enacted the law for virtual education for both primary, secondary and high schools for a year to control the widespread in society. Students are forced to attend online classroom through Google Meeting or Zoom platform. They are more likely to have access to different teaching methods and visual learning styles. As the result, the percentage of young adolescents infected by Corona virus in 2021 was much lower than the old whilst their learning assessment was still retained. Moreover, only when staying at home and working by intelligient technologies do workers seize an opportunity to save their transportation expenditure. Because of the limitation of fossil fuels and high expenditure for gas taxes, distantly working from home provides employers with money-savings and they can use them for other special needs. For example, in March 2022, the world's inhabitants had to face up with the everyday increase in gas and fuel price because of the war between Ukraine and Russia. Therefore, IT workers or those who were working for a distant company are the most beneficial ones because they do not need to daily go out for their job. Furthermore, with the development of technology and Internet availability, customers of restaurant could distantly order their food whenever they have a demand. In short, both clients and business companies benefit from that because users are fulfilled their demands and restaurant owners would gain much money thanks to the additional fee of delivery. To recapitulate, innovation in technology provides human with loads and loads of beneficial features, especially, avoiding infectious diseases and money-savings in transportation.

When writing an opinion essay, the writer must realize that he has to target the completeness by which he presents his information. His opinion must be fully developed and supported by only one example and reason, unless otherwise specified by the writing instructions. Normally, for 2 questions, only one reason is needed and expanded upon in the 2 paragraphs. By concentrating on the development of the explanation, the writer avoids creating under developed reasoning presentationss. In this particular essay, the writer has a well developed student related reasoning paragraph. He focused on one topic, Covid-19 and its effects on learning, while developing the reasons that these proved to be beneficial in the end for students. The final explanation, using the outcome of the virtual classes was an excellent way to close the paragraph. The second reason did not fair as well as the first one though. That is because the writer got too busy with providing reasons, rather than providing solid explanations as he did the first time. By providing more than one reason in this paragraph, but not having enough room to fully expand on each discussion, the second discussion topic became superfluous and lacking in explanation development. That situation removed the cohesiveness of the presentation. Food delivery, as a consideration for workers does not really relate to the way that workers complete their jobs remotely. It is a reason that does not fit within the requirements and focus of the original discussion. It should not have been introduced in the paragraph. The focus should have remained work related. The concluding summary could have been better presented. The reasons provided should have been divided into 2 seperate sentences with a final repeat of the writer's opinion also present in the paragraph. A total of 3 sentences should be present in this paragraph to be considered a complete recap of the previous points.

***Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs.*** ## What problems do this cause?What are some possible solutions? Essay: It is true that the job market has become more competitive between young employees and old ones to apply for the same positions. There are a number of problems has resulted from this tendency and they should be resolve by a number of effective solutions. There are several of negative outcomes from such a competition between young job applicants and old ones. The first predictable consequence is the abundance of labor resources who are old-age pensioner. Even though there is no doubt the fact that the aging workforce is highly experienced, they seem to be less productive due to their health deterioration. This would negatively influence their job performance at a workplace. Another problem is that old job seekers could not compete with young people in certain fields that not only require great versatility and creativity like sales or marketing but also keep up - to - date with the latest/ changes of technology. Without adequate financial means .Without stable income to support their family and themselves, elderly people might have to live in poverty. Since such issues are serious, the governments should take steps immediately to address these problems. The first solution is that providing greater job market for senior citizens and utilize both young generations and old ones to train each other. It is government responsibility to invest in creating job opportunities and employ the elderly who are skilled and experienced so as to train younger counterparts. A second measure would be offer training courses for old people in order to boost their technological knowledge. This will reduce the level of competition for the same jobs between two groups of applicants and empower them to increase their chances of getting their wanted positions. In conclusion, although there are various potential consequences of competing between older people and young ones for the same type of occupations, appropriate steps could be taken to tackle these issues. Therefore, both groups should help each other to improve their weaknesses and provide more job opportunities in society.

Avoid a personal opinion presentation about the truth of a statement in the opening sentence. That isan unnecessary and prompt altering statement that will lower the accuracy score. Any personal news should be stated at the end of the paragraph as an integrated personal statement. The first paragraph is extremely weak as it does not provide a proper discussion basis as required through straight responses to the questions listed. The first response paragraph is nothing more than a paraphrasing of existing reasons from already existing essays. The same can also be said of the solutions paragraph. Therefore, the writer has not presented original ideas. He has used this essay as a paraphrasing exercise instead. I cannot accurately judge his writing abilities and personal responses in this case.

TASK 2: SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO SOLVE ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS IS INCREASING THE COST OF FUEL FOR CARS AND OTHER VEHICLES. ## ***To what extend do you agree?*** In the modern century, there have been growing concerns from the citizens about environment. This has led to the question whether rising price of fuel is the best solution to environmental issue. This essay will analyze and give the reason why I partly disagree with that point of view. From one side, one argument put forward in favour of increasing the cost of fuel for vehicles. That is to say, when the price of fuel, namely petroleum, rise significantly, population will tend to cut down the frequency of using cars and other vehicles for saving money. Moreover, this phenomenon will create favorable conditions to promote citizens to use various vehicles which are close to nature including bicycles. By this way, the environment will be decreased the amount of air pollution. From my point of view, there are a number of arguments in favour of opinion that rising the fuel price to tackle environmental problems will bring more disadvantages. First, this will affect to economy of country. In fact, the price of goods and services will be increased, which can lead to the decrease in the quality of population, especially poor people. In addition, a large number of industries depend on fuel therefor rising cost of this will bring more negatives for society. For instance, tourism and transport industries can be damaged or be force to grow service prices. In conclusion, although there are arguments of both sides, it is my genuine belief that increasing the cost of fuel is not a good idea for environmental protection

Avoid merely repeating the discussion instructions in the personal opinion presentation. To further add to the strength of your claim, make it a point to include the summarized reasons. These will add clarity to the discussion aim and also prove that the writer's opinion has a simplified but valid basis. The result? Increased accuracy scores. The writer does a good job of putting forth the reasons why people may support a rise in fuel prices. It is simple, grammatically flawed, but in proper reference to the discussion. However, he should have used more sentences in the presentation to increase the GRA score. One sentence per idea always works best. The first sentence of the second paragraph is confusing due to its length. It should be stated more directly since it is a topic sentence. Hence: *From my point of view, there are more disadvantages attached to these advantages.* Done. Clear and concise. The way the topic sentence should be. The essay has syntax and sentence structure issues that will affect the final score. The writer needs to make sure to improve in these areas going forward.

## The diagram below show how leather goods are produced The provided illustration depicts the information about the making of leather products. From an overall perspective, the process consists mainly of 11 different steps. Animal skin is being processed through various stages like washing, shocking, flattering and polishing before it gets manufacturing the leather goods out of it. Initially, animal skin hangs outside to dry it completely where after it gets transported to the factory. Here, the animal skin is washed with water and lime composition to wash away all the stains and impurities in the skin. Moreover, the skin again dips inside the lime solution, whereafter it gets through the flattening process with the help of a giant roller, it results in the thin flat skin. After that, this skin gets soaked with water and vegetable matter before getting through the polishing process. Once the polishing is done, this skin is transported to a firm where leather goods such as shoes, handbags, and balls are made out of this processed animal skin.

At 163 words, the writer still has room to improve his presentation paragraphs. Just to be clear, he could have done a better job at presenting the summary overview since it is way too short for the presentation. The summary should have at least 2 sentences in the presentation or 40 words. It must be more descriptive in relation to the content of the image. He should have done come up with a summary overview that was similar in the number of sentences to the trending statement. Work on developing better sentence presentations. The writer has the right idea in the paragraphs. He does his best to present his thoughts in a coherent manner, but his lack of control over the sentence presentations tend to blur and confuse the reader. The reader has to read the passage several times before finally understanding what he is trying to say. It is imperative that he does his best to improve his sentence structures so that he can get his message across in a manner that will avoid GRA deductions.

***Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Full essay: People's opinions diverge as to the way humans get access to the latest information. Although newspapers are indeed an excellent source of news, it is by no means the ultimate way to stay informed with news compared with social networking sites. Admittedly, keeping abreast of data via newspapers provides society with a sum of merits. First off, newspapers are worth confiding in as their data are official sources. In detail, newspapers have to undergo a range of verifications and studies of prestigious journalists before being printed and in order to avoid any mistakes and wrong information. As a result, this source of information has been preserved and stuck to for decades. Furthermore, unlike websites on the Internet, newspapers are well-arranged and clear of advertisements, which prevent people from getting distracted. That is why relying on newspapers is time-consuming and conducive especially to teenagers since they are easily lured towards ads and other attractive offers. Consequently, the coalescence of the aforementioned reasons would lead many to go for write-ups to become knowledgeable. However, in the tech era, the internet is a more advantageous way for humans to be fully informed about what happens around the world thanks to convenience and evident images. To begin with, finding news on social networks is undemanding since there are myriad articles relating to the concern by several keywords. People who are in a rush in the morning for work, for instance, can gather up-to-the-minute news immediately in their car or at the office free of charge. Some may argue that the internet is not trustworthy yet people can have faith in a host of authentic websites that have maintained their reputations for accurate reports such as BBC News, CNN News, New York Times,... Another reason worth taking into consideration is that social media contains more vital materials in terms of images. Explicitly, viewers are given real-life interviews and vivid sports matches despite not attending. As a result, it is undeniable that mass media play a key role in humans' staying in touch with current and breaking news. In conclusion, while traditional newspapers have been long trusted and well-organized, I am of the notion that networks attached with depictions could undoubtedly get the upper hand in learning news. Hello, could you please point out my mistakes and calculate a band score for this essay? How could I reach 7-7.5 score in IELTS Writing? Thanks in advance <3

The prompt restatement contains information inaccuracies and a lack of personal opinion presentation that forces it to receive a failing TA score. Failing in this section of the preliminary score guarantees the writer will not meet his target score. Avoiding misinforming the reader by referring to data not included in the orginal prompt and meeting the personal opinion statement requirement will help the writer avoid a failing score in this section next time. The writer is not discussing the points of view in the required manner which is a comparison of the public opinion and the personal opinion over 2 paragraphs that represent each public point of view. The writer wrote a general discussion instead that came across solely as a personal opinion. The paragraphs do not meet the discussion requirements. This essay cannot receive a passing score because of these mistakes.

## The number of visitors to four London museums The line graph illustrates how many tourists came to four different museums from June to October in London. In general, it is obvious that the number of people visiting all mentioned museums recorded a downward trend, while British Museum was the opposite. In addition, National Museum was consistently in the last place. In the first two months, a similar pattern was observed in History Museum, British Museum, and Science Museum, with approximately 400,000 people. Meanwhile, the figure for that in National Museum reached a plateau at roughly 200,000 people. A striking feature was that August experienced significant growth in all museums apart from Science Museum, with over 700,00 people opting for British Museum, followed by History Museum and National Museum with 600,000 and 300,000 visitors, respectively. However, this figure in Science Museum remained unchanged at over 400,000 people. Regarding the month of September, it is noticeable that both History Museum, British Museum and National Museum experienced a spectacular fall and a constant decrease in the last month. Furthermore, the number of holidaymakers traveling to Science Museum rose by about 100,000 people, compared to the previous month, before dropping dramatically to 300,000 visitors in October. * *bar chart*

Misidentifying the image will result in a failing TA score. The image presented is a bar chart. It is not a line graph.The essay immediately starts out with a failing preliminary score.something that can very well force an automatic overall failing score due to clear reporting errors and inaccuracies. The writer should enumerate the 4 aforementioned museums in the summary overview. This listing will help keep the reader better informed when he references the 2 museums in the trending statement. The listing is a standard part of the summary overview and should never be omitted for any reason as it ties in directly with the trending statement every time. There is an error in the information presented in the summary overdewthat will cause accuracy deductions. Note that the measurements are from Jrene to December, not October. Such inaccurate reporting carry hearry deductions in related sections. The inaccuracy continues throughout the report with references to "a similar pattern was observed" without first indicating what that pattern was. The writer tends to get ahead of his thoughts, without checking for accuracy and completeness after he drafts his report. He truely expects to get a passing score with his inaccurate reporting presentation and writing style. Sadly, his missteps will result in a failing score instead.

## the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat The line graph illustrates the amount of fish and various types of meat in European nation over a period of twenty-five years. Overall, there was a considerable increase in the amount of chicken consumed, and in addition to this, the European expended the least on fish during the examined period. In 1979, around 220 grams of beef was consumed while the consumption of chicken and lamp were nearly 150 grams. In contrast, many Europeans chose negligible amount of fish which its figure was approximately 52 grams. Over the following five years, it is clear that various kinds of meat such as beef and lamp saw a downward trend, around 160 grams and 120 grams respectively. The amount of fish also declined slightly below 50 grams. In contrast, the consumption of chicken had a gradual rise by 10 grams per week. Between 1984 and 2004, the consumption of chicken experienced a significant surge and overtook other nutrition as the primary nourishment in Europe, before reaching the peak at 250 grams. Reversely, beef and lamp consumption fell rapidly which its respective figures were approximately 120 grams and 52 grams only. The expenditure on fish stabilized at the number of European consumers over the last years. * *Here's the topic*

A listing of the data for comparison should be indicated in the summary overview. The listing is used to assist the reader when reading the trending summary in the next part of the presentation. Without the previous listing, the reason for indicating the number of items in the summary becomes unimportant and irrelevant. Only when the complete listing is included does the importance of the high and low trends in the general trending statement become useful in the presentation. With regards to the trending statement, the writer should follow the line trend in the creation of the report. A trend is composed of the high and low measurements in the graph. So the mention should be for the highest and lowest points in the graph, even if the items to be indicated are not the same. Additionally, the reference to European in the trending paragraph is out of place. The writer was referring to the region itself, which is Europe, the residents are called Europeans. He was referring to the country rather than the people so the regional reference should have been used instead. He may have also used the reference "European market" instead to clearly refer to the sales of the items within the region. He must take more care when writing and reporting on terms from the image. There is no "lamp" indicated. The sales of "lamb" were discussed though. These types of spelling errors are the kind that show a lack of proof reading, editing, and disinterest in providing a paper that will score highly. The errors here indicate that the writer is not interested in getting a passing score, he just wants to complete the test. The first completion of writing is known as the draft. The writer is expected to review his writing for spelling errors and sentence improvements. He must correct those errors. Then, he must revierw it again for polishing with additional information that may have been missed the first time and other mistakes that might have previously been missed. Another correction should follow after this. Only after a 2 review process should the writer be a bit confident to pass the paper for grading. Do not just aim to complete the writing. Aim to complete a properly proof-read and edited paper for a higher passing score.

## time to travel around a city The table shows how long it takes to travel around a city before and after the transport network is raised. Also, the bar chart presents how much it costs to travel to other forms of transport in the city. Using the tram will most greatly go down the amount of time. It cuts the time down from 22 minutes to 16 minutes. Similar to the tram, the bus is slightly faster than before. But even so, it still takes 23 minutes. Even after the fastest forms of transport have grown, taxis are still 3 minutes slower. However, taxis are getting to the quickest mode of transport in the city. By contrast, the bar chart reveals taxis are the most pricey means of transport, spending nearly Є1.80. The car that costs around Є1.00 will be on the following list. While trams and buses are less expensive, charging almost as much as Є0.40 and Є0.20 each. Overall, traveling by bus or tram is always slower than using a car or taxi, but they have a lower price. One more useless thread title = BAN

I am not sure what you mean by"raised" in reference to the city transportation. Since there is no image for comparison to your statement, I am left confused by that sentence. In an actual test, you will receive deductions for every confusing sentence written. Such GRA problems will result in a failing score for that section. Always assume a lack of image on the part of the audience then formulate the report accordingly. There is no need to reference the other image as "also" since it does not refer to information related to the first image. The nest image should have a different and stand-alone presentation. The wrong connecting word or transition reference was used in this case. Overall, the writer has not developed an understandable analytical uport. He has clearly shown that he has a problem when it comes to English sentence development and word usage. These are areas of concern that he must focus on.

## "Eliminating Medication Overload" There is an overlooked pandemic of harm from the excessive prescribing of medications to older adults in the United States. While medications are beneficial for many people, excessive prescribing puts millions of people at a greater risk of harm than it benefits. For instance, there are nearly 1.3 million emergency department visits each year due to adverse drug effects; of those, 350,000 patients are hospitalized for further treatment ("Adverse Drug Events in Adults." 1). In addition, older adults, sixty-five years or older, visit emergency departments 450,00 times each year, more than twice, as often as, younger individuals ("Adverse Drug Events in Adults." 1). Moreover, these statistics are growing; the Lown Institute predicts that if nothing changes over the next ten years, medication overload will lead to 4.6 million hospitalizations of older Americans, and fifteen times as many outpatient visits for side effects from medications (1). Medication overload is primarily caused due to a culture of prescribing, a lack of knowledge among clinicians and patients, and a divided healthcare system. However, it is possible to reduce the over-medication of older adults through changes in the education and training of clinicians, raising awareness, and reducing pharmaceutical industry marketing to clinicians and patients. Patients and clinicians are all fixed in a culture of prescribing, connected to the belief that all health concerns can be cured by taking a pill. Numerous elements shape this culture of prescribing, and it affects the way clinicians and patients think about medications. Many clinicians prescribe medication knowing it is not needed to maintain a good relationship with patients. For instance, a study in 1998, that analyzed twenty-one general practitioners and seventeen patients consulted for a sore throat found that even though, "Doctors know that antibiotics do not help most sore throat sufferers but try not to jeopardize relationships with patients over this issue" (Butler 642). Moreover, the advertising of prescriptions also contributes to the culture of prescribing. Direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical advertising (DTCA) is legal in only two countries, the U.S. and New Zealand, but banned everywhere else as a health precaution. These advertisements encourage using medications, while utilizing lengthy, fast-spoken descriptions of side effects. Further, in 2002, the U.S. General Accounting Office estimated that eight million Americans requested and obtained prescriptions in response to DTCA (Mintzes 264). In order to minimize the effects of the culture of prescribing, public awareness needs to be raised about the harms of excessive prescribing. Additionally, a Eliminating Medications Through Patient Ownership of End Results (EMPOWER) study conducted on 2,665 individuals, sixty-five to a hundred years old, were given information about potential harms of sedative-hypnotics. This information led to sixty-two percent of participants to discuss deprescribing with a clinician and twenty-seven percent to discontinue chronic sedative-hypnotic use within six months (Turner 2692). Public health campaigns are required to increase awareness of the dangers of medication overload, while promoting shared decision-making to deprescribe, and countering the pharmaceutical industry's influence. Further, both clinicians and patients lack vital knowledge and skills to make educated medication decisions. Rarely are clinicians instructed on how to track and avoid excessive prescribing or how to deprescribe medication. There have been many advancements in the medical field, although the present system does not assist clinicians in learning this material. According to Friedman, "approximately 75,000 people died in 2005 because of inefficiencies in the healthcare system" (125). Due to the lack of training, clinicians frequently feel incapable of discontinuing patients' medications. In order to combat the lack of training, there must be clear clinical practice guidelines to follow for prescribing and deprescribing medication and performing prescription checkups. Additionally, the procedures must be well spread throughout the various healthcare settings. Moreover, our healthcare system is comprised of various healthcare specialists in different settings, leading to an increase in inappropriate medication given to patients. The U.S. healthcare system has grown to be highly specialized. As a result, primary-care providers struggle to function as such. Instead, specialists care for the patient's condition separately, usually without taking into account what different diseases or medication the patient has or is on. Due to specialization and a divided system, many patients lack a primary health care provider who knows and understands all of the medications the patient is on. Thus, prescriptions are often given to treat what comes across as a new medical condition, but is simply a side effect of another medication. This is known as a prescribing cascade and can lead to adverse medical reactions and death. Moreover, potentially inappropriate medication prescribing (PIM) is common and is worsened in older patients, when moving to and from hospitals and nursing homes. Patients are generally given medications to treat a critical, nonpermanent condition in the hospital. A study in 2014, by Medication Safety Researcher Tariq, Alhawassi found that more than one in every ten older patients in the hospital setting, experience an adverse drug reaction (ADR) either leading to or during their hospital admission (2079). In addition, during transitions to nursing homes, human restrictions, technical deficits, and organizational elements all play a role in PIM. A study in 2019, found that PIMS was relevant among fifty-seven percent of the 103 nursing home residents (Halvorsen 4). In order to reduce the increase of medication overload, the patient's primary care provider must have all essential information and perform prescription checks ups to decrease the risk of inappropriate medication prescribing. In sum, if the excessive prescribing of medication is not addressed, Americans will continue to face severe and life-threatening adverse drug effects. Action is needed immediately to reduce the harm that current practices are causing older individuals. Successfully tackling this problem can be done by changes in the education and training of clinicians, raising awareness to the public, and by reducing pharmaceutical industry marketing to clinicians and patients. Works Cited "Adverse Drug Events in Adults." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Alhawassi, Tariq M et al. "A systematic review of the prevalence and risk factors for adverse drug reactions in the elderly in the acute care setting." Clinical interventions in aging Butler, C C et al. "Understanding the culture of prescribing: qualitative study of general practitioners' and patients' perceptions of antibiotics for sore throats." BMJ (Clinical research ed.) Friedman, Deborah, et al. "US healthcare: a system in need of a cure." American Journal of Medical Research, vol. 3, no. 1, Apr. 2016, p. 125. Gale OneFile: Health and Medicine Garber, J., and Brownlee, S. Medication Overload: America's Other Drug Problem. Brookline, MA: The Lown Institute. 2019 DOI Halvorsen, Kjell H et al. "Assessing Potentially Inappropriate Medications in Nursing Home Residents by NORGEP-NH Criteria." Pharmacy (Basel, Switzerland) vol. 7,1 26. Mintzes, Barbara. "Advertising of Prescription-Only Medicines to the Public: Does Evidence of Benefit Counterbalance Harm?" Annual Review of Public Health, vol. 33, no. 1, 2012, pp. 259-277 Turner, Justin P, and Cara Tannenbaum. "Older Adults' Awareness of Deprescribing: A Population-Based Survey." Journal of the American Geriatrics Society vol. 65,12 (2017)

Establish the foundation for the research paper and information in a better manner. Create a more solid and interesting opening statement first. That means the actual discussion and citations should be present in the 2nd paragraph instead of the first. For the opening section explain why the overprescription should be considered a pandemic, what sort of effects it has on patients, why it should be stopped, and possible ways of preventing it. Give a discussion overview first, then begin the major and minor discussions in the next / succeeding paragraphs. As of now, there is no real intention behind this paper this would create a need for someone to beinterested in its content. While the information is useful, the establishing facts need to be presented first. There is a sense of the writer not being interested in the writing itself. Save for the use of constant citations which helped to actually create paragraphs, there would not be any useful content in the paper. Where is the writers analysis of the given data? What does the writer understand the text to mean? Aside from the researched work of others, why did the writer not conduct any personal research, surveys, and interviews to establish a general opinion based on first hand information? These would have helped better establish the paper as valid and authoritative.

## the issue of student's curriculum Choosing appropriate subjects at school is always a controversial matter not only in academic society but also in general community. Some individuals suppose that challenging subjects like math and philosophy should not be taught in the learning curriculum While a number of other people hold the opposing opinion that students can choose what subjects they learn at school due to the difficulty of those subjects. From my perspective, I totally disagree with this viewpoint and I will present my reasons with specific examples in this essay. First of all, important subjects are basic knowledge that every students should have regardless of their races, nationalities or cultural backgrounds. With the aim of making sure that pupils have primary lessons and essential knowledge, learning institutions have to prioritise the tough subjects like Mathematics. Asian education system is a case of point.Boards of school directors stimulate students study these kinds of subjects so that they are easily likely continue higher education or even get a well-paid jobs thanks to being professional in those vital cources that enterprises are looking for. Another season for keeping harsh subjects is thinking development. Learners have a chance of promoting their ways of assessing problems logically. Although such subjects may be hardship to a relative number of people, they gradually encourage pupils to think and find out good solutions. According to worldwide researches, top intelligent scientists are good at calculation, physics and even philosophy. In conclusion, schools and government can take a feasible measure by reducing amount of curriculum but it is necessary to keep crucially hard subjects as compulsary ones.

There is a confusing prompt restatement presented here. The writer is not presenting opposing points of view. Rather, he is presenting the same opinion twice. I believe he rushed through the writing of the prompt restatement and did not realize that his interpretation was not on the mark in relation to the original presentation. I read the paragraph several times and still found myself confused by his statement. This will definitely result in a failing GRA score due to the confusing statement presented. The writer is offering an over reaching reasoning discussion by including a reference to race, nationality, and cultural background. He should just keep the reasoning simple, based on his personal experiences if possible, rather than using reasoning points that will be difficult to defend in a single paragraph. It actually results in further confusion in the presentation, now affecting the coherence and cohesiveness of the presentation. I do not understand what the schools and government have to do with the discussion. These were not part of the original prompt discussion. The sudden inclusion of the need to have schools and governments offer solutions to the problem resulted in an open ended essay. Without a proper summary conclusion, this essay is risking receiving an overall failing score.

## handcraft superiority Nowadays, with the development of society, production processes with the support of technology have pushed to a new level. Handmade products are also fading away. Although producing by machines is faster and more economical. However, I prefer handmade products because when made by hand each is unique in its way. Machine-made goods lack this uniqueness. Firstly, handmade products are always environmentally friendly. When mass production by machinery, it will release a lot of waste into the environment, even many factories do not treat the waste but discharge it directly into the sea. This leads to serious pollution in some localities. For example, the Environmental Crime Investigation Department of Nghe An Province Police fined Song Lam Sugar Joint Stock Company which directly discharges thousands of cubic meters of untreated, causing the river to flow. Dinh Son commune is polluted and stinks. In contrast, handmade products always allow consumers to actively use and reuse a quality product rather than constantly buying new replacement products. Secondly, handmade products contribute to the development of the community and the local economy. The preservation and development of craft villages will help the economic development of the localities, providing jobs for people to earn extra income. At the same time, it helps to preserve the beauty of the culture and traditions of our country. Some traditional craft villages are still developing such as Bat Trang Pottery Village - Hanoi, Non-Nuoc Stone Handicraft Village - Da Nang, Doi Tam Drum Village - Ha Nam,... Finally, handmade products also create their uniqueness. A unique or handmade item will be made with the attention to detail, creativity, and care of the artisans. It is worth more than any piece that is mass-produced by the thousands. This is why people are attracted to items made by individual artisans. Handmade items can take hours or even days, but machine-made items take only a few dozen minutes. This kite shows the meticulousness and specialness of these crafts.

The prompt restatement does not follow the flow of the original presentation. The first sentence is not in line with the orginal topic presentation. Due to task accuracy considerations, it is always important that the writer does not include a personal opinion, insight, or non-prompt related information. That means, any added and unsupported information will not help the score but will result in deductions instead. Though the writer does not provide structurally sound sentences, the reader will manage to understand his ideas and thoughts. The focus of the discussion is never lost. However, a task 2 essay only requires 2 reasoning paragraphs for this type of prompt. The 4th paragraph should have been a concluding summary, not a final discussion topic. The missing conclusion could result in an automatic failing score as the required format was not provided by the writer.

**Question: *Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on more important subjects.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion Some people argue that students should focus on learning about food. However, this idea was opposed by those who suppose food is not considered as a main subject and encourage students to study other subjects. Personally, I agree with the latter viewpoint because food is such a broad subject for kids to learn throughout the school term. To some extent, encouraging students to study the science of food is reasonable. Firstly, food is a necessity in our lives, no one can survive without it. Therefore, many individuals believe learning about food would be useful for children and assist them in becoming independent people. Next, cooking food also fosters the youngster's creativity and other soft skills. Based on those public opinions, I must admit that food plays an significant role in life, but I am still doubtful whether students should focus on it instead of studying other subjects. With the second argument, people think pupils should spend time on more critical subjects rather than food. They suppose the primary subjects are Math, Literature, Physics, Chemistry, etc. Food is such a wide topic that no one can cover through limited time at school, so it should be an optional course that students can choose to take. Furthermore, today's children can learn about food in a variety of ways, such as from their parents' dishes or via the Internet. As a result, children should devote time to learning subjects that they would be unable to learn outside of school. Based on what has been said so far, I totally agree with this argument, as pupils can learn about food outside of school hours. In conclusion, there are two opposing angles on whether students should spend time learning about food or other subjects at school. However, I believe that pupils should concentrate on essential courses at school and use their free time studying about food.

The prompt restatement is incomplete as it does not refer to the other point of discussion in the public point of view. The writer did not indicate that the point of view is also focused on learning how to prepare food, not just learning about food. Those are 2 different areas of food study / interest. He also said that the opposing view "supposes" something, when the original presentation indicates that it is a factual opinion for them. So there are 2 errors in this instance: - Missing one public opinion reason - Incorrect supporting point of view presentation These combined errors will result in a less than stellar task accuracy score. The student uses an acceptable discussion format but fails to build properly on the explanation of his personal opinion regarding each public point of view. He also uses the group pronoun "our" indicating a personal opinion. The personal opinion should only be singular in indication, it can never be a group pronoun presentation as he is not allowed to speak for a group of people in his presentation. His opinion is only a single statement of (dis)agreement in every reasoning paragraph, which does not really fully explain how his opinion came about in relation to the public discussion. So his personal opinion is considered under developed every time and will not add to the scoring consideration for the overall score. Since the exam taker failed to spot the aforementioned errors in his writing, due to his lack of editing prior to grading submission, his overwriting of the text, beyond the 300 word count was not useful to his cause. Rather than improving his work, he just heightened the error potential and subsequent scoring deductions of his essay.

## statement of interest Can you help me improve my writing. I am applying to biological data analysis course of data science at university of padua. I think my motivation of contibuting to world seems fake but i actually am motivated by that should i remove the parts and what else can improve my admission chance I am writing to express my interest in applying for second-cycle degree in the Data Science program of Department of Mathematics. My name is Adil Atahan Atik and I am an enthusiastic new graduate of genetics and bioengineering from Turkey. I am seeking to learn data science and use it with my previous bioengineering knowledge to contribute to technology and humanity and I believe University of Padua is the best place to do it. My interest in data science began after learning the achievement of AlphaFold2 on protein folding problem. I believed that solving the protein folding problem would be one of the biggest advancements for anti-aging and defeating cancer which were my biggest interests for the first years of studying genetics and bioengineering but I thought it was impossible for the problem to be solved in my lifetime. AlphaFold2 shocked and inspired me with its ability to predict protein structures and I decided to learn data science. I have worked on a project of creating an artificial intelligence model for covid-19 and loved the process too. So I decided that I need to merge my knowledge of bioengineering with data science and need further education. While trying to decide choosing between biological degrees and data science degrees for my master's, learning that data science program at the University of Padua has a biological data analytics path really excited me. My excitement for the idea of studying at this course is the combination of the inspiration of knowing that I will get a top-quality education from people who are the best in their subjects in an area that aligns with my goals perfectly, the excitement of being in an environment full of people with big goals and big motivations, and the excitement of discovering new cultures, new music, art, and food. This excitement will be a great fuel to help me achieve my goals. I am confident in myself that with hard work I will successfully complete the course and I hope to achieve relevant knowledge and techniques that will support me make the world around me a better place. I especially want to use deep learning models for protein structure predictions and bio-physical data and I believe the course from Padua will help me actualizing my goals. I believe I am a good candidate for admission because I have had a good education in genetics and bioengineering from my former university and from my internship at Hacettepe University which is the most prestigious university in Turkey in the area of medicine and I improve my computer knowledge with learning python and working on artificial intelligence models. I am a creative, innovative, and hard-working person and I want to change the world for the better. Studying data science at the University of Padua is a motivating goal and a great opportunity for making my dreams come true so I would love to dedicate myself to this path. I believe I will be a valuable candidate with my knowledge, skills, passion, and motivation. Thank you for your time and for considering my application. Best regards, Adil Atahan Atik

I do not get a true sense of being motivated to study this course as a 2nd degree on your part. The writer needs to prove that there is an actual connection between Genetics and Bioengineering and Biological Data Analysis as it applies to Data science and Math. Being a fresh graduate, you should have had a clear opportunity to merge the 2 fields, even on an experimental basis at some point. Discuss that point clearly and then, explain how Biological Data Analysis will help you further your interests in the field. What doyou specifically want to learn about and why? How does it relate toa career goal? you touch very lightly on these aspects in this essay. Make these your only focus instead.

## What would you do to help the victims of natural disaster? According to me, if I don't have a loved one in the area but still want to help, consider shipping much-needed supplies into recovery and evacuation zones. I can contact an accredited organization before shipping. Also, I can donate supplies and equipment but just send necessary or good supplies. Just doing these things has helped them have a warmer and fuller life

You can never cite yourself in an essay or any other witten work. Only other information references and people may be used as other data or opinion sources. Therefore, it is grammatically incorrect to say According to me . Only first person pronoun references can be used when stating a personal opinion, insight, or information gleaned from personal knowledge and / or experiences. Areas of the presentation neglect the use of the aforementioned pronouns as well. Thus, creating a confusing sentence. Who is the speaker? It is not difficult to keep track of whois speaking and referring to the person properly. That is the writers main concern in relation to written thought clarity. The sentences are not well developed in areas of subject-verb agreement as well. Though I can fill in the blanks being an English native speaker, an ESI will have difficulty understanding certain sentences in this paragraph / statement.

## As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways When children become adults, their social behavior is radically different compared to them in the past. While many people believe that these changes negatively affect their lives, I would argue that there are many positive influences it has on people's daily life. The features of children's attitudes that dramatically change when they grow up are their characteristics. As an adult, they will become more independent in their social life. During adolescence, teenagers gain many valuable experiences as well as master their skills in order to have a good occupation. Consequently, they don't have to rely on their parent's budget to live day by day in adulthood. Instead, they have the ability to earn a huge amount of money to cover their demands and to fulfill their filial duty. In addition, people will be more mature when they reach 18 years old, the age when people can think of marriage and a variety of big concerns unlike a spontaneous infant. Furthermore, as an adult, people will have responsibilities for their behaviors and what they do. For instance, a man at a vulnerable age is in charge of making profits for his family and his country. Conversely, a boy who only knows how to study and do housework is careless about surrounding people. There are many advantages that changes in social behavior have on people's lives. Firstly, it makes people become more reliable to surrounding friends. People gradually gain trust from their boss and colleagues and progressively play a pivotal role in their company compared to young workers. The best illustration for this is that many key positions in enormous companies are held by old and experienced people. Secondly, the way that society treats them is also modified. They are regarded as a part of the society and contribute to the developments of the country. In conclusion, I believe that when children grow older, their social attitudes also change considerably, therefore positively affecting their life and their position in the society.

The essay will automatically receive a failing score because it does not adhere to the provided discussion requirements which are: - What are the main differences between young children's social behavior and that of adults? - To what extent are the changes that take place good? While the restatement is aligned with the orginal, the thesis basis is unrelated to the orginal questions. These errors in response are what created the failing score scenario for this essay. The response format was very important in this case. Specific references to the changes and the positive extent statement based on a personal opinion, without a public opinion reference should have been directly represented. It was the lack of proper responses that made that section fail due to prompt alterations in the opinion response. Now, since the reasoning paragraphs are in accordance with the questions, these could help the essay achieve a base passing score but no more than that. The final score will also be affected by the lack of wordcount in the concluding summary.That paragraph needs at least 40 words or 2 sentences to meet the scoring requirement.

## different nationalities in Australia The pie chart illustrates the percentage of people from five nations living in Australia while the table describes the distribution of people in rural and urban areas based on nationalities. In general, it can be said that the majority of Australia's population are Australian. Moreover, there are more residential areas established downtown than those in the countryside. According to the pie chart, Australians make up approximately three-fourth of the total population, which is significantly higher than those from other four nations. Dutch is the country which has the lowest citizens living in Australia, only 1 percent is recorded on the chart. As can be seen from the table, most Chinese people prefer to live downtown rather than in the countryside, followed by New Zealanders with 90 percent in the urban areas and 10 percent in the rural areas. On the contrary, the number of Australians living in the city takes the lowest position among five nationalities while the percentage in the countryside accounts for 20 percent, which ís the highest number of citizens compared to the four remaining nations. *

When writing the summary overview it is important that the information prounded in individualized. It must never be a part of a run on sentence. The word "and" cannot be used as a transition word when dealing with or indicating 2 different sets of information as in those related to a table and pie chart. Though related by topic, these are not related by information. Hence, the need to separate the image presentations. The general trend as presented only focused on the highs. While acceptable ,the most accurate representation in this paragraph would be a general reference to the highs and lows of each image. This to show a summarized analysis on the part of the writer. The reporting paragraphs show a lack of sentence development skills in his writing. He has mistaken run-on sentences for complex sentences. The paragraphs are mostly compressed idea presentations that cannot qualify as simple or complex. There should be at least 3 sentence presentations per paragraph. These paragraphs do not come across as trely analyzed due to the sentence format situation.

***Nowadays it is more important to plant trees in open spaces in towns and cities than building houses. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree*** The controversy of whether humans should prioritize planting trees in open spaces in towns and cities rather than building houses recently provokes heated debate among citizens. From my perspective, I partly agree with this former statement since both planting trees and housing play crucial roles in our daily lives. On the one hand, it is universally acknowledged that planting trees bring huge benefits to city dwellers. First, they give assistance to improve air quality, especially in metropolitan cities. With the advent of industry and technology, the environment is gradually contaminated by enormous amounts of CO2 emissions. Subsequently, trees play a pivotal role in absorbing those toxic fumes and releasing O2 that contributes to the improvement of air quality, which can reduce respiratory issues among people who live in cities. Furthermore, trees create shade and a peaceful atmosphere that enable citizens to take part in outside activities. Therefore, stress and other mental problems can be limited, leading to the fact that the living standard of city dwellers is increasing in the long term. A study conducted by Cambridge University students suggests that looking at the green of tree leaves for 30 minutes per day can significantly soothe one's mind and recharge their battery after a hectic working day. On the other hand, housing is believed to contribute greatly to the process of ensuring habitants' living standards. Initially, the increasing population poses a threat to the governments to solve the issue of affordable housing for citizens. Consequently, more trees have been cut down to make room for new houses with a view to meet the demand of city dwellers. For instance, in metropolises such as Beijing or Shanghai, housing comes out at the top due to the excessive number of people. Another justification is that without enough homes, people in such big cities are likely to be homeless, leading to a high crime rate that involves drug addiction or violence. This phenomenon could be detrimental to any countries' development; therefore, prioritizing housing can partly tackle this issue and ensure the quality of life for citizens. In conclusion, planting trees and building houses both have significant impacts on city dwellers. Governments and authorities should have feasible measures to strike a balance between these two factors so that the living standard of habitats will be improved in the future.

There are clear problem points in the opening restatement. The first problem is that the writer is exaggerating the statement from the original by using inflammatory words such as "controversy" and "provokes heated debate". Neither claim is referenced in the original so the restatement has become inaccurate. An idea was presented so, an idea should be restated. Second among the other problems of this essay are the use of the original reference topic in open spaces in towns and cities rather than building houses . The writer did not even try to restate the information in a different way. As such the restatement will fail due to the cut and paste / memorized reference. However, the miter provided a well established opinion + thesis statement. That reduced the amount of deductions in that paragraph. The next problem that will cause additional deductions is the inclusion of a solution in the summary conclusion. As there is no requirement indicated for such a statement, this will be seen as a prompt alteration and relevant discussion. This section must only contain a paraphrasing of previous discussion points.

## the production of instant noodles The given diagram depicts the process in which the instant noodles are manufactured. There are distinctly 8 different steps, from the initial storage silos to the eventual labeling and sealing. Looking at the first stages, the number of flour is contained in storage capacity before mixing with water and oi to convert a solid form. Following that, the rollers transfer the mixture to the machine system. During the next step, the mixture is spread into equal dough sheets and then divided into straight strips. At the fifth step, the manufactured chain continuously separates the noodles into each disc with the standard weight. Moving on to the next stage, the noodles are cooked with oil and dried to put into the cups. From this, packing the vegetables and special spices is the main factor that makes different flavors between the brands. The mechanism of chain ends completing the canned noodles with the labeling and sealing.

Avoid redundancies in word usage. Distinct and different are similar in reference in this case as there are 8 different, thus distinct, steps in the manufacturing procedure. This may have an adverse effect on the LR scoring considerations. The trending statement is also missing in this presentation. That should be a strong and obvious reference towards the end of the summary. Reviewing the text again, it appears that the writer will benefit from further separating his summary sentences into individual topic references so that he can properly word the trending statement. As of now, that is clearly missing from the reference. The lack of image upload prevents me from showing the writer an example of how this can be done. The second instructional paragraph seems to be missing some information. While flour is mentioned as having a specific number, he did not refer to the actual measurement which I assume was referenced in the original presentation. The lack of complete information makes the sentence incomplete and difficult to understand. Why is there a sudden reference to canned noodles? The original simply said instant noodles. If these were to be canned, then that reference should have been indicated in the summary to create a proper and complete overview of the process from beginning to end. Such sudden appearances of information will tend to confuse the reader.

## Visiting Japan If I have an opportunity I want to live in Japan. This country has many wonderful things that surprised me. Firstly, the quality of the food is very tasty. I used to eat an apple in Japan and I could not forget. Secondly, Japan had mountain scenery, I spent a long day taking many photos. Every place was beautiful. Finally, the culture in Japan is very special, have a unique point of view, for example, Japanese is patient, they can stand in line for about an hour to get the ticket but they do not feel uncomfortable about that. Moreover, when they eat, I am aware of their lips moving no sound. They are very polite and be afraid to bother others or make trouble. As a result, they will bring more burden and pain of life. I can spend a long day talking about Japan. I wish I can visit again.

The instruction asks the writer to talk about a country that he would like to visit repeatedly. That is totally the opposite of what the statement contains. The work is in error as it discusses a country where the author wants to live. That incorrect representation totally changes the information focus. Grammatical errors in relation to sentence formatting are also present. There seems to be a confusion as to when the writer should use "is or "are". He must review the verb usage rules for the aforementioned words. He should also review the rules for past and present tense usage. More importantly, he must avoid hanging sentence presentations in the statement. Not all of his sentences have clear subject- verb agreements either.

**TASK 2: *Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. - It is true that in the contemporary world, governments tend to gravitate towards developing the economy only, people, wheraeas, hold a belief that it would be better if the investment could be spent equally for other industries such as education and healthcare. Personally, I am in the flavor of the latter for several reasons. - It is obvious that the economy plays an important role in the development of each nation. A country with the potential economic ability is able to limit the residents' poverty. By investing more in the economy, the government could offer a variety of employment for local people, which leads to a reduction in joblessness. From there, that country would not be suffered from financial burden from unemployed individuals. Moreover, the economy is also considered as a ruler to measure one nation's development In fact, when looking at a specific country, the first and criteria would be judged is GDP (Gross Domestic Product). According to the Administration Office, 2021 Vietnam's GDP was recorded at around 271 billion USD, which is considered as a strong developing nation. On the other hand, besides the economy, I believe that the government should pay more attention to different industries to become a totally-developed country. Firstly, governments should allocate resources to education. It cannot deny that education is crucial to a nation's future. If the children are not well-educated, they would get into illegal activities and become juvenile crimes, which would be a big problem for every country. Secondly, healthcare also should be invested. The government is ought to enhance the life quality of residents by building more hospitals and improving the welfare system. Once people are fully-supplied, they will devote themselves to their country, which would push the development of the economy. In conclusion, the economy is vital to all nations around the world, though, governments should spend resources equally in other indutries to develop comprehensively.

The writer has written more than the required wordcount, but failed to proofread, edit, and discuss the given topic in the assigned format. From spelling errors, incorrect word usage, and disconnected reasoning paragraphs, the writer could have avoided these scoring deductions if he did not prioritize the word count over the quality of the presentation. I need not point out these obvious errors. The student should be able to easily spot these avoidable mistakes if he takes the time to review the paper now. The writer even goes so far as to alter the topic foundation by offering his personal opinion in the first sentence of the restatement. A big no - no that always results in point deductions. The opinion is always at the end of that paragraph, consolidated with the thesis statement. The provided discussions do not assess the public s against the writer's previously given statement. To presenta cohesive discussion, the public opinion must be considered along with his apposition or support in the paragraph. General discussions like these are seen as personal opinion alone in most cases. Without the paragraph comparisons, these will only be scored in a limited manner.

*Full topic: **Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive car.*** ## Why is it happening ? Is it positive or negative development ? Nowadays it is very often to see the advertisement of automobile's self-navigating system everywhere. Obviously, people shift to habit of automatic car driving gradually under assistance of artificial intelligence. This is a positive development that technology accomplishments contribute to daily life. We are living in an era which humans witness remarkable achievements on technology or computer science. It is true that all these advantages bring many benefits and one of these is using artificial intelligence in car driving. Majority of us find troublesome in driving our own cars everyday due to various distractions ,so we need a solution for this matter. Artificial intelligence is developed to tackle this question by integrating with the automobile's navigating system to give instructions to drivers. We take Tesla car as an example: driver gives order by voice or input by hands to the system the details of destination, then the system automatically figure out the route and give directions to driver. Hence, we will not fear or confuse whenever we start driving car anymore. In addition, Utilizing artificial intelligence in driving car is a positive improvement because it helps to predict the possible circumstances as: congestion area, traffic accidents or peak time . According to recent researches, there is a significant decrease on accidents on road after numerous automobile company started applying the artificial intelligence to control the driving process. Therefore, it is advisable that artificial intelligence technology should be an unseparated part of the automobile globally. In general, we ought to popularize the application of artificial intelligence in car driving to public in order that everyone understands the its benefits and accept to use it universally, and we educate the young generation to innovate the artificial intelligence to be far better in future.

The prompt paraphrase and direct question responses that comprise the personal opinion are all incorrect. The prompt restatement is nowhere near the original as it changed the topic from artificial intelligence driving cars to advertisements for self driving cars. Those are 2 immensely different topic focuses that only have artificially driven cars as a commonality. The subjects of the discussion are correct, but the topic reference is incorrect. The reference point is how articial intelligence is now being used to drive cars. As for the personal opinion, there are no direct reference topics that can be perceived as answers to the question provided. The writer did an inefficient job in the first paragraph and these will reflect in the low TA score for that section. The writer tends to go off topic when introducing his discussion points. He must lose the habit of creating long but irrelevant introductions and instead, go directly to the topic of his discussion. Use topic sentences as an introduction to create efficient paragraph presentations. This can be specifically seen in the first reasoning paragraph where it took him 2 sentences to get to the point. The paragraph was disconnected between the first 2 sentences and the succeeding presentation in the paragraph. If the writer will refocus his writing skills properly, he will be able to pass the test. He has shown that he can (sometimes) stick to the point and fully discuss a given question. However, he needs to learn to stop being distracted by side discussions that he accidentally (or intentionally) presents. Those will lower his overall score.

## bar chart report (four countries expenditures) The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of five major categories of expenditures shared in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan during the 2009s. From an overall perspective, it is clear that housing was the most common expenditure shared by the people in the three countries, except for the other country, Japan. Health care and clothing were the two lowest categories of sharing spending in all four countries. In terms of housing sharing expenditure, while the figures for United States and United Kingdom people were almost the same, at 26% and 24% respectively, the percentage of people spending reached 22% in Japan.Canada had the lowest housing share at 21%. Notwithstanding, one in every five people in Canada shared the spending in transportation, followed by 17% of Americans and 15% of people in the UK. Reaching the lowest point of about one out of ten in the sharing of transportation in Japan. However, Japan had the largest food share of all four countries at 23%. The United Kingdom had the second-highest share at 20%, the proportion of people who shared food expenditures in Canada was slightly higher than in the US, the same level as the UK was in transportation, at 15% and 14% respectively. *

A task 1 essay containing one image should be completed in only 3 paragraphs, with less than 200 words. Time your writing and editing practices within the 20 minute test as these are inclusive during the actual test. Failure to do so could lead to a lower than expected score. Enhance the vocabulary usage in the presentation to at leasta consistent high school level of writing. "Excluding" should have received a better score than "except" in this case as it shows a bit more advanced vocabulary and sentence development skill. For a better overall score, it is imperative that the writer provide 3-5 sentences per paragraph. By individuallying the sentence content, he will create a tbetter balance of simple and complex sentences for scoring. Using only 2 sentences does not accomplish that task and leads to less scoring increases.

## class sizes comparison The graph depics the average class sizes in primary schools and lower secondary schools in 6 countries compared to world average in 2006. As a general trend, this can be seen that the proportion of pupils per class in primary schools and lower secondary schools in South Korea is bigger than others. Whilst the size of class in primary school in Mexico is ranked last and the size of class in lower secondary schools in UK is ranked bottom of this figure. With the number of pupils per class in primary school, it seemed to be substantially differences among 6 countries. South Korea reached the top of the list with nearly 3 pupils per class. In Japan and UK is the place which has the size of class were comparatively higher than the world, at 29 pupils per class and 28 pupils per class. On the other hand, Mexico, Denmark and Iceland has smaller than the world, at 20,23 and 21 students per class respectively. With regard to lower secondary school, South Korea, Japan and Mexico had the largest size compared to world average class size. The UK, Denmark and Iceland had smaller than the world in this figure, with 18, 22 and 19 students per class respectively.

The writer has not indicated the type of graph that was provided for this report. Thus creating a difficult to reconstruct image for the reader. He is also confusing the reader by not completely mentioning all 6 countries in his trending outline. It would be best if he did not mention any countries at all and simply used a general reference to the highest and lowest points in the graph. Afterall, the trending statement does not need to contain any full or partial analysis at that point. It must only contain a measurement observation. One measurement observation is more than sufficient for that task. The countries for reporting should be divided into 2 groups for the report. Grouping them by regional location or some other method would be more than acceptable for this task as it will offer additional and related information for the clarity of the reader. The groups should not contain more than 3 related countries per reporting paragraph. The report for lower secondary school can be deemed to be under reported in this case as it does not reflect the other countries that were included in the measurement. This means that the report is under developed and analyzed. It will not allow the examiner to reward full points for that paragraph.

Task 2: **Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. ## Discuss both sides and give your opinion.** Genius is either born in nature or can be trained is a contradictory problem. Some believe that the talent is a gift from the god while others believe that intelligence is a lifelong accumulation of learning. I support that people are able to level up their smartness, given that in most cases, the potentials can be nourished through learning. Intelligence is a capacity that how people tackle with the amount of knowledge to apply in specific fields, therefore it probably borns with a higher level than average people but hard to upgrade without learning. In society, people admire someone with high intelligence quality because those people are keen on study and always are fast -learners than others. As the world famous inventor Edison said, "A genius is composed of 1% talent and 99% efforts". That is, person with outstanding ability are consider to be diligent and willing to find their potentials in progress. On the contrary, some people assert that intelligence is a gift from the god and everyone's talents are determined by biological results since we are passed down genes from our ancestors. Innate capacity for humans are a strength since smarter people owns more space in their brains that means they are more likely to memorise more than others. It is fair to say that people have excellent nature are more likely to own more chance to maintain their talents, and that is why the social classes are hard to be breakdown when the elite have absolutely benefits than commons. In conclusion, both sides of how intelligence develops states different angle of people judge elites. In my view, life is a long run, the innate capacity gives different begins to everyone. When normal people embrace their own talents, it must be a second chance to improve their intelligence on the roads.

The personal opinion of the writer is not clearly stated in the discussion paragraphs. Though general and group viewpoints are clearly seen, the personal opinion of the writer based on correct first person pronoun usage cannot be found. This delivers a weaker discussion development and indicates a missing discussion point based on the 3 opinion presentation. Had the first reasoning paragraph used first person references, the first person discussion requirement would have been met. Right now, the presentation is under developed because of the incorrect presentation format. While the sentence structures are not very well done, there is still a semblance of writing control to be found.That made the overall presentation understandable just the same. More sentence writing exercises can help improve the writer's score in that aspect.

## Brotherly Love movie - For the followers of BL, it is definitely impossible to ignore "Thien Quan Tu Phuc" - a passionate series adapted into a famous movie by author Mac Huong Dong Khuu. This is also a movie that I cherish so much in my heart that I want to make it my own. - The film belongs to the genre of passion, set in a fairyland, in a fantasy world, where fairies and demons really exist, mixed with detective and action elements. - The film revolves around two main characters, Ta Lien - a mandarin in the sky, who soon became famous by the nickname Hoa Quan Vo Than - a joke of the three worlds and Hoa Thanh - a great-class devil that the gods When it comes to color change, I just can't wait to go around 8 roads to avoid meeting this demon. So why are two people, one god and one demon, so involved? This problem is difficult to say, it is difficult to say all one word, easy to say is simply contained in one word "love". Two people meet by chance but not by chance, make friends together, solve all the truths hidden in the dark,.. gradually but they develop feelings, only love can be. This incident only came from Xie Lien's side, and the other demon king actually had a crush on him for a long time.. In the end, will the truth be fully revealed? Will the demon king's true heart be revealed? Is there anything hidden.. watch the movie to clearly feel the author's smooth emotional circuit and extremely skillful logic. - According to the comment of a reader to each comma like me, really, this movie is delicate to every detail, from images, sounds, calls, costumes.. all are profound to each person. details of a lover. In addition, the plot of the movie is very interesting, coherent and logical, so good that I can't take my eyes off. - The movie has a deep meaning to the audience, that's because.. the characters in the movie, their stories, are really both reprehensible but can't stop loving them. All the characters created by Mo Huong Dong Khuu are not perfect, they all have a tearful past, have selfish moments, but in the end, what upsets the reader's mind is because.. Can't hate them. This is a very good movie, just watch 1 episode, you can't escape its extreme attraction. Have fun watching movies!

Not everyone is familiar with LGBTQIA+ movies at this point. It would help educate the reader if you can first define what a Brotherly Love movie is and what the stories are about before you launch into the actual movie discussion. Read your reader into it. Do not just get into the nitty gritty of the discussion. The introduction is important in this case. I found myself confused about the actual reference to this film. All indications pointed to this being a stand alone film. later on though it appeared to actually be a movie series. Which is it? Use a single, clear reference that establishes the storyline as stand- alone or continuing over several films. It will also help establish if this is only one of several film reviews to be expected from you. My last comment comes from how the presentation seems to be formatted for a blog rather than academic writing.

**Hi all, could you please give feedback on this essay?** ## penalties against children It is unquestionably essential that children be capable of distinguishing between rights and wrongs. It does not mean that they should get disciplined to figure out these dissimilarities. I firmly believe that punishing young children is unjust. Instead of such cruel practices, parents and guardians should employ a more restrained approach. On the one hand, it is now widely acknowledged that violent penalties against children have particularly negative impacts. First and foremost, they may be subject to physical and psychological injuries. In addition, studies have also proven an increased tendency of misbehavior in said juveniles. One of the suggested reasons is that when young children are exposed to violence early in their lives, they start to mimic such doings as a defense mechanism. On the other hand, other types of verbal punishment - such as scolding - may induce mental distress and confusion in young toddlers. When parents or guardians lash out at the young child, they will naturally become frightened. Their agitation may cause them to close off interactions, as they try to shield themselves from reprimand. Unfortunately, this act of self-preservation may spawn undesirable effects on children's psychological development. Recent research has pointed out that children who suffer from verbal abuse are especially prone to becoming emotionally and psychologically stunted. Hence, I reckon that it is time parents tried other non-violating and more temperate methods of discipline. I propose that children be left to discover the consequences of their actions alone - though with proper caution. Besides, sending them to do extra chores or complete additional assignments may be one alternative to punishing a child - without making them experience discomfort. On another note, parents can train their offspring to be upright individuals by setting examples themselves. I suppose that this is arguably the best way of bringing up a toddler. It is of utmost importance that youngsters get nurtured and tutored properly - with loving words and caring actions. No children should have to suffer because of the minor mistakes they inevitably make. I insist that guardians of young adolescents refrain from imposing harsh punishment and make an effort to employ milder substitutes.

Avoid exaggerations in your restatement presentations as words such as "unquestionable" will alter the original intent of the presentation. Being a general reference in the original, the same sentiment should be presented in the restatement. The additional word, as an exaggeration appears to be the writer's personal opinion, which should not be included in the prompt restatement. The extent response and personal response basis are very well developed. However, there should have been a clear reference to what 2 restrained discipline approaches you plan to discuss in the essay. One clearly referring to parental alternative discipline and the other, related to teacher implemented regulations for students. That way a full pre-discussion summary is completed in accordance with task requirements. The reasoning paragraphs do not follow the prescribed 3 paragraph format. These should separately represent: - The opinion of the writer - Suggested parental discipline - Suggested teacher conduct control action The writers does not fully thresh out the discussion based on the required format for the discussion. There needs to be a differentiation between educator and parental discipline. They cannot be expected to use the same methods since they are related to the child in different ways. One is personal, the other is educational. So the alternative discipline method should represent that difference. While the exam taker showed an understanding of the prompt, the discussion method is incorrect and does not represent the correct discussion considerations. While the essay will receive scores in all aspects, I am not sure if these will be enough to pass the test.

## More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life There is an abundance of residents are transferring from rurality to metropolis toward an advanced future. This essay will tend to give some hardships for staying in large areas and settlements that can be cooked up by government. One of the staple thing may be a difficulty is obstruction. Nowadays, residents are in favor of using private vehicle, the using proportion of private car increases. However, they may deal with instance of sitting in traffic around 30 minutes to an hour on their way to go for work and back home. Another drawside is high living cost. With development of metropolises, government has an enormous concentration on improving high qualified buildings in a dear price. People who are paid in low can not meet the expense of giving money and usually ought to face with making ends meet. Numerous approaches can implement to tackle the aforementioned issue. First, government can impose rigorous regulation about charging toll to decline private transport utilization. Moreover, it is necessary to encourage citizens to make use of public transport frequently with friendly energy. Second, in order to reduce pressure on living cost, government may poor money in fabricating more affordable apartments and also have the funds for salary in high for employers. In conclusion, various steps could be taken to solve traffic congestion and the rising cost of living, which are the two main problems facing urban life.

The first thing that the examiner will notice in this essay is the lack of proper word usage. The test taker is using English words that do not correspond in meaning to what he is trying to say. For example, he uses the word "obstruction" as a reference point for traffic, without explaining what he means by that. Obstruction is not the same as "traffic jams" or "traffic congestion". It carries a totally different meaning that does not help him to clarify his meaning or intention in the sentence. This error occurs several times in the essay, causing confusion for the reader. The examiner will give a failing GRA grade for this essay because of these LR and GRA related errors. These errors will be enough to ensure that the writer will not get a passing overall grade during an actual test. Add to the problem the fact that he has only written 233 out of 250 words and the essay truly does not have a chance of passing. There will be too many word count deductions in the percentage of the overall score to prevent a passing score. These deductions will be made even before the actual sectional scoring as there is a preliminary score consideration for the word count. Any essay containing less than 250 words will automatically receive word count deductions.

***Maintaining public libraries is a waste of time and is not necessary since computer technology is now replacing their function.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? The role of public libraries is downplayed and they are considered not worth spending time on, due to the current development of computer technology. Subjectively, while I admit the benefits brought by computer technology, I do not agree that public libraries should be replaced. On the one hand, it is undeniable that computer technology offers innovative functions. Firstly, smart devices equipped with these technologies are highly portable, allowing users to carry them anytime and anywhere. My sister, for example, who is a voracious reader, can enjoy her favorite pages wherever she is, even on the move with a palm-sized Kindle. This has saved her a huge amount of time and effort. Secondly, computer technology facilitates reading books when it comes to finding and organizing. For instance, readers could look for a quote in a thousand-page book and add it to their favorite collection in a blink of an eye. On the other hand, there are some reasons why public libraries cannot be substituted by computer technology. One reason is that public libraries play a vital role as reliable learning sources. In other words, readers at libraries are exposed to authentic and valuable information which benefits their academic purposes and brodens their spectrum of knowledge. In addition, public libraries are places of gatherings to exchange knowledge and passion for reading. Consequently, this will not only help readers widen their social network but also strongly encourage them to read books, thus building a more sustainable and well-educated society. In conclusion, I believe that people should pay attention to the maintenance of public libraries, regardless of the advancement of computer technology. (268 words)

The writer has successfully contradicted his own opinion in this presentation. The result is an essay that does notfully explain not support his personal opinion as stated in the prompt restatement + personal opinion section. The idea behind the reasoning paragraphs is to have the writer illustrate the reasons why his opinion, as first stated should be acceptable and seen as reasonable by the reader. That was not accomplished in this task. The presentation instead takes to explaining why both sides of the discussion is correct. Creating a confusing opinion and discussion presentation. Aa a personal opinion is required rather thand comparative discussion, only the first stated opinion must be developed in terms of reasoning and defense. The essay is incorrectly developed and discussed in this case. The essay also does not use the required response format, leading to additional scoring deductions. It will never recieve full TA, C + C, and GRA scores because of it. There is a possibility the essay will recieve failing marks in those sections and get an overall failing score.

***Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the internet rather than the teachers in the classroom.*** ## *Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?* The school of higher education provides online open course opportunities to people by using technology instead of going on-site. In my opinion, the development could make the world become better and broaden our international horizon. Firstly, the development of online courses make people all over the world have access to knowledge. For example, popular online courses such as Coursera, Udemy, and Edx platforms could help some workers who desire to learn but due to the lack of time learn anytime and immediately. It could also mitigate the ladder of economic in developing countries. Women and children from those countries can absorb new knowledge such as news writing, photography or the theory of gender equality, and so on to strengthen their power to make a peaceful world. On the other hand, learning the course through the internet might obtain the chance to communicate with a variety of friends worldwide which makes us embrace more cultural differences. Furthermore, people can cultivate their collaboration and leadership skills. For instance, there is a school in Australia partners with a school from other countries by creating an international online program, which provides students to interacts and work in groups of teams with foreigners. In conclusion, distance learning makes an indispensable impact from local students to people worldwide. We should not overlook this trend and its impact!

The writer is not responding to the provided question. His presented opinion is nowhere near and is not even related to the writing topic as required. The prompt restatement will be prevented from achieving a passing score due to the incorrect opinion response. A partial score will instead be awarded to the paragraph. An effort must be made during the drafting process to ensure that each sentence presentation has meaning. There is one sentence in particular concern as it does not contain a clear subject The sentence in question is: It could also mitigate the ladder of economic in developing countries Economic what? How does that relate to the given discussion question? It appears that the author little understands or totally did not comprehend the discussion requirements. Based on the overall discussion presentation and concluding paragraph, I am convinced that the essay will notpass the test as it discusses a totally different topic.A topic that was created by the writer, without consideration for the original discussion requirements.

## global temperature and CO2 levels The line graph compares and contrasts data on the changes in the average temperature and greenhouse gas emission levels on Earth over a forty-five-year period. Overall, it is clear from the chart that both worldwide temperature and carbon dioxide emission levels tend to increase significantly year over year. To look in detail, in the period from 1960 to 1985, while co2 levels rose evenly and swiftly from under 320 in 1960 to more than 350 in 1985, the global temperature, however, witnessed fluctuations over the whole period, commencing at zero degrees Celcsus, grew and fell erratically and eventually, reached 0.1 degree Celsius in 1985. Additionally, in the period from 1985 to 2005, the co2 emissions levels kept observing remarkable surges and ultimately peaked at 380 in 2005. The global temperature, in another evolution, remained unstable; nevertheless, during this period it tended to proliferate then reached its highest point of 0.5 degrees Celsius in 2005.

The summary overview can do with more information separation in the sentence. Based on the data it currently contains, the presentation could have been divided into 3 sentences for better data dissemination. Proper year coverage for the 45 year reference is also a necessary part of the shortened presentation. Avoid asking the reader to look at the image in greater detail. For one thing, the assumption for this test is that the image is not present for the reader. Hence the need for proper data referencing on your part. For another thing, you did not upload the image with this post for me to compare the information provided. Do you see why the image reference is useless in either instance? The writer does not provide a proper mix of simple and complex sentences in any paragraph. Proof that he is not knowledgable about proper English sentence structures. He is only capable of writing in run- on sentence format and the only punctuation marks he uses are limited to a comma and period. Both proving a lack of grammar abilities and familiarity.

**Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?** Many people hold the view that governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. While I think it is essential to invest in developing the railways, I disagree with the view that governments only concerntrate on developing the railways instead of making a balance of policy for both. On the one hand, it is reasonable that the railways should be promoted stronglier. First of all, the railway often helps save the time of transporting than the road because it is an own line just for train, therefore, the train on railways will not meet the situation of traffic jam. In addtion, the train is capable of holding a large number of passengers and commodities by its lenght . Secondly, the width of railway is narrow, as a result, it will help save areas for the country for the other purposes. Futhermore, making use of railways in transport will partly reduce packed streets and accidents, also protecting more environment than using the private vehicles on road. On the other hand, there are several drawbacks of railways compared with roads. In fact, the building of railways is not easy and costly because it demands a higher technique in desining, especially the material of the railway is often iron can be eroded in the condition of outer weather. This lead to it be broken down and will cause a delay for total trains acting on it. Besides we are undeniable the convenience of the road is than the railway when the train will only act according to the specific schedule that means that in the urgent situations, we will have to wait while we can use the vehicles on road such as car, or motorbike whenever we want to. In conclusion, investment in railways is completely neccessary for their benefits, however, the road also play a vital role in transport. For these reasons, it is clear that the goverment should spend a proper policy for both.

The writer has written a failing score essay at this point. In terms of task accuracy, he has shown that he is incapable of restating the topic in his own words. He used the cut and paste method of stating the topic. That earns the paragraph an automatic failing score. Something that does not surprise me since this student cannot even offer fellow students original advice. He is constantly plagiarizing my advice as the educational consultant. This further proves that he does not have any sort of ability to pass the actual test unless he has someone or something to copy from. His discussion formatis also incorrect as he commits 2 errors in the presentation: - He does not provide the correct extent format for the discussion. How strongly does he support his opinion? - He uses a comparative discussion format where a single opinion + 2 supporting paragraphs are required. These errors, along with an inability to produce an original restatement will result in a failing score for this exam taker. Unless he can stop being a copycat/ plagiarizer and, he learns to respond based on expected patterns, he will never improve his writing towards a passing score.

## Hosting an international sports event Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. It is true that staging a worldwide sport event is a controversial subject in every country. While there might be some reasons to oppose it, I believe that such an event would benefit the host country greatly in terms of reputation and tourism. On the one hand, the idea of holding a global sport event is disadvantageous to some extent. Firstly, many people suppose it is just a waste of money because the host country would have to spend a significant portion of its budget on hosting this massive event rather than improving the lives of its citizen. Secondly, constructing an enormous stadium may require surrounding residents to leave their homes, affecting the geological structure of that area. On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why I believe the host country could gain certain advantages from organizing an international sport event. The main one is that the host nation can use this event to promote the country's image to friend all over the world. As a result, the host's reputation as a hospitable country is improving. Furthermore, tourism also has a good opportunity to flourish when numerous foreigners visit the country for the event. It is considered a good occasion to promote culture, clothing, heritage and other attractive destinations for tourists. To summarize, although hosting a global sport event presents certain drawbacks, I contend that it should be encouraged in order to improve the host country's prestige and tourism's development. It is advisable that governments take different initiatives to reduce the negative effects

The writer has not provided an accurate prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. He has presented and began his personal opinion discussion in the first paragraph rather than doing a simple restatement of the 2 public opinions along with his personal thoughts + reasons. The 3 sentence paragraph does not meet the restatement requirements because the writer did not accurately restate the public points of view prior to stating his personal thoughts. The paragraph will not receive full scoring considerations due to these errors in presentation. The writer did his best to discuss the public opinions in each paragraph, even going to the extent of delivering a non-developed second public reason in some instances. However, he did not represent his personal opinion of the public point of view based on an effective discussion format. The format for the discussion should follow the format: Public Opinion + Reason + Personal Opinion + Reason = Properly developed discussion paragraph There is a missing element of the public opinion discussion. Based on the format he has chosent o use, there needs to be another paragraph that totally discusses the second opinion of the public in the essay before the personal opinion paragraph. The personal opinion cannot be continued as a discussion point in the summary conclusion either as this will create an open ended discussion presentation. A proper reverse conclusion should be provided in that section for proper scoring application. The writer will do good to note that he has also provided solutions to the given situation even though it was not required by the prompt provided. This conclusion deviation has resulted in additional information that will not receive a score and also, cause a failure of the essay due to a prompt deviant presentation paragraph. As of now, the writer has not written an essay that gives me the confidence that he will receive a passing score in an actual test.

## A Healthier Life Everyone in their life needs a companion either if that is a partner, friend, family member or even better a pet. Pets are human's greatest companion. Being an owner of an animal raises your mental health there has been countless research on this topic on how animals and owning a pet are beneficial towards a human's health. Not only do animals benefit your mental health they also can improve your physical wellbeing. Animals help you live a healthier life style and provide a plethora of benefits, Not only do animals help with mentally sickness they provide comfort and a sign of relief when you are with your fury find you are a mentally and physically and healthier person. Major issues in today's society are mental health. Mental health is a solemn matter and needs to be established and open of the most operative therapies is cooperating with animals. According to NIH Health around society eight percent of homes that convey home an animal they also bring home health benefits. Animals have been shown to diminution levels of cholesterol and lower one's blood pressure (NIH). Animals also reduction the sensation of loneliness improvement your global mood and delivers a surge in social support. "Dogs are very present. If someone is struggling with something, they know how to sit there and be loving," says Dr. Ann Berger, a physician and researcher at the NIH Clinical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. Researchers at mental health have bare a surfeit of dissimilar ways a pet can help provide for your psychological health and help become an improved human and happier person. One major issue is the feeling of loneliness a dog can help you meet new people for example when on a walk people will halt and pet your dog and come up to you and exchange providing conversation and a way to conversate with people. Animals provide more self-confidence which by being great listeners and not someone who can talk back and criticize you for how you are and how your appearance they are always there for you and give you the sense of ease and sustenance. Feeling sought and being unaided is never easy exclusively on older people who live alone and become sad having an animal provides them with a friend and a mate. (health) Being a pet bearer may also help with dementia symptoms a study in 2011 by Harvard college has shown they people with dementia which are people prone to outburst when they are interacting with a dog it has a portentous calming outcome and diminishes outburst and reduces heart rate. (Lamarco) Not only do pets and animals provide a well being to your mental health by providing comfort and relief they also provide you physical health. There are many health benefits of owning a pet. Animals provide opportunities to exercise, and to get up and go outside for a walk or a run. "Regular walking or playing with pets can decrease blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and triglyceride levels (CDC)" Studies have shown that the bond between people and their pets is linked to several health benefits, including: Decreased blood pressure, cholesterol levels, triglyceride levels, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and symptoms of PTS. Owning an animal provides you with goals and achievements throughout your day. Such as getting up and feeding your pet and providing them with water as well. You feel a sense of caring and compassion towards your animal so when they need a walk not only are you getting exercise and living a healthier life so is your animal. according to Harvard Health. These health benefits suggest that spending quality time with a dog may help improve overall heart health. "Dogs are like exercise buddies (Lamarco)" even if it just a few walks a week they still encourage you to be better and be more physically active. A study in 2019 shows that the information they have gathered from their dog walking experiment shows that dog walkers meet the daily physical fitness activity almost four times more then non dog or pet owners. Dog owners walk roughly three hundred minuets every week while non pet owners only walk around one hundred minuets every week. Being dog owner fives, you goal and ambition and you will start walking and living a better and healthier life without even knowing it. With all of the health benefits that animals display they are still amazing service dogs. Service dogs also known as "assistance dogs" are trained to perform quantifiable tasks that directly ease the challenges associated with their owner's physical, psychiatric, sensory, and/or developmental disability. (Humane) One type of service animal are Emotional support animals. They are companion animals who assistance their owners manage with the trials connected with emotional and mental health circumstances by providing relief with their occurrence., emotional support animals are not expected to perform specific tasks related to their owner's condition, nor must they obey to any behavior standards or training. Their incidence alone is what is thought to provide their owner with therapeutic advantage. (Humane) Emotional support dogs help with depression and anxiety that is why in some airports around the country there are rooms filled with emotional support dogs. According to American Phycological Association more than twenty five percent of Americans are suffering from a type of mental disorder (ESA) Emotional support dogs have been progressively important. The next service dog are therapy dogs these dogs are registered to visit "hospitals, long-term care facilities, treatment centers, schools, and other settings to benefit people in need." Therapy dogs or also comfort dogs are them to support ones need and comfort Their sweet demeanors and unconditional love may have a therapeutic benefit to those who face difficult health challenges. And unlike service dogs anyone can enjoy and pet a therapy dog. Therapy dogs have been shown to provide physical stimulation and assist with pain management. (dogs) In conclusion it has been shown through research that animals are not just another pet they are a companion a friend they provide you with health care and by just owning a pet or an animal can make you a healthier and better person.

The writer should make up his mind about the subject reference. Will it be pets in general or dogs? The interchangeable use of these terms in the essay tends to confuse a reader. He must understand that domesticated animals, or pets, are not limited to dogs alone. If he wishes to use dogs as the sole reference point, then he must revise the references and other aspects to relate solely to dogs. As of now, the target of the study is confusing to follow. The writer also needs to seek professional editing or rewriting for his essay to clean up the sentence structure problems and discussion clarity issues. The student is obviously ESL and as such, tends to miss out on correcting these errors. The writing and presentation problems affect the clarity and understandability of his research paper.

Question: ## The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors: *"Techcorporation is our top pick for investment this term. We urge all of our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed satellite technology has been approved by the FTA to compete with the current satellite provider. That company is Techcorporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not a monopoly. Thus, the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.* Answer: The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons and several questions need to be answered in order to prove the argument reasonable. Primarily, the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that Techcorporation is a better satellite provider than the current satellite provider rendering its main conclusion that investing in Techcorporation now will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest,invalid. The argument fails to provide any justification about why Techcorporation was the top pick for investment. What was the basis of selection and what are the reasons for people to invest? The answer to this question will enable the investors to make sound decision and accordingly select the company for investment. Apart from being approved by FTA, the argument doesn't provide any reason for investing in Techcorporation. It may be possible that the current as well as the competing comapanies are approved by the FTA as well. In the absence of the answer to this question,it is difficult to follow the advice put forward by the argument and consider it as reasonable. Further, the argument states that in the survey conducted, about eighty percent of the respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite provider. What was the total number of people who were surveyed and where do these people live? What was the reason for dissatisfaction with the current provider? If a small number of people were surveyed and the place where the survey was conducted had a limited reach of the satellite provider,the survey would have been flawed and could not be relied upon for proving the argument reasonable. The argument fails to provide any information about the same and also, the reasons for dissatisfaction among the respondents towards the current satellite television provider are not specified in the argument. Whether the people were dissatisfied with the return of their investment or were dissatisfied with the services of the current provider is unknown. Finally, it is stated in the argument that investing in Techcorporation will prove to be highly profitable. What if people are dissatisfied with Techcorporation as well? What is the guarantee and on what factors it is stated that the investment will be profitable? The argument doesn't mention the reasons and fails to provide any convincing evidence to the investors to invest in Techcorporation. It is possible that Techcorporation suffers the same fate as the current provider and instead proves to be unprofitable for the clients. Because the argument makes many unwarranted assumptions and several questions need to be answered,it fails to make a convincing case that investing in Techcorporation will prove to be profitable and people will be satisfied with the services and the returns that the company will provide.

The writer need not repeat the prompt requirements in the first paragraph unless he was actually qquestioning these references already. Itwas a waste of time since the personal arguments of the author should have been the basis for the opening statement. What specific areas did he find to be questionable? Why? The essay is acceptable enough in terms of discussion points but could use more developmentin terms of responding to or explaining how the questions he posed could have been better addressed using specific methodologies not considered by the article. That aspectof the presentation feels rushed in development. The sentence structures and grammar used are notperfect. Itoften gives away the ESL nature of the writer. He must work harder to remove ESL traces in his writing to achieve a higher score.

Write about the following topic: ## Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. ***To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?*** *Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.* Since the beginning of the 20th century, or often known as the era of technological advancement, humankind has witnessed a multitude of breakthrough events, among which is the invention of the computer, a sophisticated machine that is often argued to be the greatest milestone in the history of technology. From my perspective, I totally agree with the statement for the following reasons. To begin with, a wide range of today's indispensable devices and conveniences would not have been made possible and accessible without the help of computers. To illustrate, from a macro-perspective, many of the most remarkable astronomical events, namely landing on the moon or launching satellites, in their infancy were merely numbers and statistics programmed and stored in a computer. Regarding our everyday life, from the emails sent to the recreational applications we install on our phones, all have been facilitated in some ways by the use of computers. The computer, along with other inventions, has left its footprint in numerous fields, and inadvertedly altered the way we live our lives. In terms of education and recreation, it is undeniably that computers have been providing us with a considerable number of applications and tools, that optimise our learning and relaxing experience, yet still holding a great deal of potentials to offer. Regarding medical purposes, the introduction of multiple modern equipments, the process of examining and treating a patient has been made more economical and time-saving, not to mention less painful. Last but not least, as it is constantly improved with up-to-date and more sophisticated technology, one can confidently say that, in the years to come, the computer will be an irreplaceable part in human life in the most holistic and beneficial way. To conclude, although some may argue that there are plenty of other inventions that are more advanced and have greater impacts on our lives, such as the Internet, or most recent, the rise of Artificial Intelligence and humanoid robots, the computer as the most crucial invention still has my support. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACKS AND SUGGESTIONS

As a task 2 IELTS essay response, it is safe to say that this paper has been over written. With only a 40 minute time frame to write a response, the excessive word count has created more problems and scoring deductions rather than scoring improvements for the writer. When an essay is too long and over presented, it creates more grammar and sentence structure problems for the writer as his focus moves from the quality of his writing to simply writing more words for no apparent reason. One of the problems with the essay is that the personal opinion is not supported by at least 2 thesis topics that would show the line of thinking of the author as it relates to the given discussion parameters. While he did state that his reasons were to follow in the next paragraphs, that reference does not help solidify the writer's opinion in relation to the score that is based on opinion and thought clarity. Without the supporting reasons, the opinion statement comes across as incompletely developed and lacking in convincing discussion starters. The other problem of the presentation is the hyper focus on an increased LR score. Why is this a problem? Though the writer shows an advanced knowledge of English words, these are not often used in a manner that flows well with the discussion presentation. The words used in a task 2 essay should be more along the lines of everyday conversational English since the audience for the presentation are not professionals but rather, ordinary people. While the chosen advanced English words are impressive, the impropriety of its usage in the presentation are what causes the problem with regards to its use in sentence presentations. The writer shows a clear understanding of the prompt and ability to deliver a related discussion series. However, the incorrect scoring focus proves to be his biggest obstacle to a passing score.

## Accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011 The bar chart illustrates the proportion of households in owned and households in rented accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. Overall, the percentage of people rented accommodation in two countries recorded a significantly decrease over a decade. While the opposite is true for households in owned accommodation. As we can see, the proportion of people renting accommodation in 1918 was 77%, which was the highest in the chart. During the following years, England and Wales saw a dramatic decline to 37% in 2011. While an enormous growth was recorded in people who owned house by 41% between 1918 and 2011. From 1939 to 1953, the percentage of families in rented accommodation and people owned accommodation in England and Wales remain unchanged. Between 1991 and 2001, the percentage of people had own house observed a slight increase whereas a marginal drop was seen in families rented house for living

The writer tends to have a redundant presentation in the use of the word "household", It was used as a descriptive term repeatedly in one paragraph proving that the English vocabulary of the author is limited and he does not know ample knowledge of alternative word usage. This must be improved in future essays as his LR score will suffer because of it. With regards to sentence structure, the presentation of the summary overview and the reporting paragraphs requires more division of content for clarity. That means, every sentence must contain only one idea to give clarity to the paragraph. Run on sentences as presented will lower the GRA score due to a confusing thought presentation. The aassumption when writing this report is that the reader cannot see the actual image. Hence the need for a creative and imaginative way of reporting the information. There can be no reference to "as can be seen" because of the writing method required.

**Task 2: *Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.* ## Do you agree or disagree?** The question of whether scientific research is funded by the government or private companies has been a controversial topic. In my opinion, I completely agree with the former as governments could collaborate with other countries and look for sponsorships easily. Admittedly, there are many good reasons to say that scientific research which is carried out by the government can be beneficial. Chief of these is that it is straightforward for governments when having a collaboration with other nations. Granted, when doing research, there would have the lack of types of equipment and scientists, thus, such a demand can be accepted because countries can compensate the lack of each other and both can be benefitted. For example, America and Australia collaborated with their primary aim is to upgrade the spaceships which can help them to find more answers about Mars. However, as for private firms, it is such a challenging task for them because some of them do not have enough reputation, so foreign companies can have some reluctance when having a contract to collab. Furthermore, when doing scientific research, governments could ask for sponsorships easier than the way private companies do. This is predicated on the assumption that there are other needed areas have to be subsidized such as environment, or education, therefore, the investment in scientific research is not enough. This, according to this theory, looking for a sponsorship is utterly necessary, and the public is those who can sponsor the government's project. In other words, people can put faith in their countries, so the vast majority of them are keen on serving due to their pride in being a citizen of their nations. Private companies, on the other hand, it is hard for them to find a sponsorship because not many people or firms can even think this research can become successful, thus, it is a waste of money to spend on. In conclusion, I would argue that scientific research should be done by the government because they have more good relationships with other countries, and more trusts that the public are willing to assist, compared to private corporations. (351 words)

The writer has over written his essay to the point where there is a great possibility that he cannot complete all the proofreading in relation to the scoring requirements within 40 minutes. Being highly verbose in a time limited test does not prove to be beneficial most of the time. He must learn to use concise discussion sentences that will lead to cohesive paragraphs. Learn to watch the clock while drafting, writing, and editing during the practice sessions to better judge how long it will take to do the same during the actual test. The response provided for the personal opinion is incorrect even as a proper thesis reference was provided. There should not be an extent response provided since that is not the basis of the discussion question. Always review the prompt after completing the draft so changes and adjustments can be made to the content. Try to catch score reducing errors within the 2nd writing stage. This allows ample time for rewrites or revisions as necessary. While I can estimate the sectional and final band score for this essay, the writer will have to contact me privately for these client exclusive services. My email is listed below.

***Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live.*** ## Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Along with technology innovation, humankind is making its steps towards space exploration. Such huge change has caused an argument: some people believe this progress overuses resources, while the others show a great avocation. To my view, it is necessary for men to continue this journey; however, the usage of resources should be considered. Conquest of outer space has taken away parts of government expenditures and natural resources. Developed countries, especially great nations such as the United States and Russia, have invested a huge amount of state budget in planetary exploration. It is reported that the United States has spent more than twenty billion dollars annually on NASA in recent years. Furthermore, because the universe out there is a discrepancy from our planet Earth, sophisticated technology is indispensable for astronauts' safety and space travel efficiency. Governments need to use a plethora of available resources to develop aerospace technology since it requires a wide range of different natural assets. Although this science is expensive, its necessity is undeniable. Understanding the Earth is not enough; space exploration helps humans to predict the future of mankind. Planetary exploration contributes to predicting the time the Earth collapses with other asteroids and discovering another livable planet. Moreover, many individuals now show a big interest in encountering our "neighbours" in outer space. Humans can therefore apply new knowledge and bring Earth life to a higher stage. By way of conclusion, space science has numerous advantages that it should be focused on and developed in the near and far future. Still, governments should spend a considerable amount of national budget and natural resources so that it will not affect other national preoccupations and global issues. *Can someone helps me review my essay? Thanks a lot!*

The prompt restatement is acceptable and shows a degree of control over the creation of simple and complex sentences. However, the discussion is not one that the examiner will be considered as a simple to understand presentation. While it is impressive to know that the writer can use college level English words that are used in specialized discussions, this does not mean that he was able to use the word properly in the sentence. The examiner is not looking for impressive big word usage in the essay. He is looking at the ability of the test taker to explain himself using simple everyday words. The vocabulary must consist of everyday words that the student will be using to express himself in social and academic settings. Use of specialized words will not really help the LR score when it is used out of context. The writer gave a general discussion of the given points of view rather than delivering a comparative discussion of the public and personal opinion of the writer. The essay therefore only discusses the point of view of the writer rather than both public and private opinions as required. So the essay will be scored based on partially correct discussion considerations. The lack of pronoun usage in the discussion will definitely have a negative effect on the GRA score. Though the discussion is good, it is not in the expected discussion format so the scoring considerations for the essay shall be limited in scope.

## Usage of different communication services The graph illustrates the number of diverse communication amenities which were utilized in the world over the period from 1998 to 2008. Overall, the figure for 5 services saw an upward trend during the period, with the highest point belonging to Cellular phone service in 2008. The number of people choosing Cellular service as a priority witnessed a considerably increasing trend by about 55%, from 5% to 60% at the end of the period. Whereas the figure for Internet service's customers also rose moderately but this change was not as substantial as Cellular phone service, from around 3% to 20% in 2008. Starting at the highest level in 1998 with 15% but the number of Landline service usages grew slightly by about 2% during the researched period. Two remaining services recorded no choice during the first three years of the survey. However, in 2002, the figure enjoyed a steady rise before reaching approximately 5% in the last year of the period. Many thanks for your help! *

The summary overview and trending statement would have been better scored had it properly used the listing of services as a part of the summarized information. The trending statement in particular would have seen a more comprehensive presentation had the listing been used throughout the summary and trending statements. The summary sentence would have also gained better scores had it used less of a run-on presentation and more of a single idea per sentence presentation. The latter format allows the writer to display more sentence development control in a critical point of the presentation. The reporting paragraphs are good but not well analyzed. The writer neglected to create report references to overlapping data and equivalency points where the information presented indicated similar data. Since the report should make comparisons where relevant, mentioning at least one or two of these points would have served as a scoring boost. Look for minute similarities next time to help show a critical analysis of the image presented.

## Today, TV channels show more men's sports than women's sports. ***Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal time for women's sport and men's sport?*** There is no doubt that sports have always been one of the favorite channels among viewers. As of late, it is arguably said that TV often broadcasts male sports more than women's ones. There are a few reasons behind this phenomenon. However, I am of the belief that TV channels should allot equal time for both genders. It is understandable why TV channels are much favourable to male sports. Obviously, the appearance of men is physically stronger than women and their competitive spirit is more fiercely aggressive, which makes them look more attractive, drawing significant viewerships than females as a result. In addition to the physical advantages, organizations lean towards investing in men's sports instead of women's. Therefore, they get more chances to show up on TV. Football is the case in point. Regardless of the equal participation of both genders, the tournaments included males always attract viewers more than their counterparts. Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that TV channels should strike a balance between the broadcast time for women and men. Their involvements not only encourage other females to engage in sports but also creates sexual equality. Apart from this, females today compete as fiercely as males during playing sports, which is reinforced by the number of victories that they gained in the past. Last but not least, females could also acquire lucrative income based on advertisements that stem from the intense of TV appearances. To conclude, the advantages of physic and the priority from organizations are two driving factors behind the regular intensity of men's sports. However, I would contend that it is necessarily important to be dedicated the same time to females as their counterparts due to proposed justifications.

There are times when a restatement requires 2 sentences, there are times when it needs 3 sentences in the presentation. The common denominator for both is that the first sentence never indicates any sort of personal opinion from the writer. The first sentence in this paragraph does exactly that, reducing the accuracy of the restatement and the possible points awarded for that section due to information inaccuracy. The question response is also incomplete as no reasons for the occurence were provided. so the personal opinion presentation can only recieve a partial score as well. Where there are 2 questions presented, 2 responses must be provided in the forum of the thesis statement. The discussion paragraphs and concluding summary are up to the task and will receive proper scores. It is the weakness of the first paragraph that will reduce the overall score.

## summarise the information from the graph The bar chart compares and contrasts data on the changes in the number of working people in five main industries in Canada in the year 1850 and 2020. A closer look at the diagram highlights the fact that nowadays Canadian preferred to work in services and constructions industries rather than manufacturing, agriculture/fishing and energy/water fields. In 1850, the percentage of Canadian workforces in manufacturing was above those of other fields, but it declined dramatically from 36% to just 9% in 2020. Agriculture and energy industries also showed a decrease in the proportion of employees who interested in those fields. The number of Canadian that had job related to agriculture fell considerably by 21% to become the industry that need the least workers, which was just 1%. Moreover, energy industry also have the same percentage of agriculture one in 2020, but it just dropped slightly by 2%. The fields that attracted modern citizen more is services and construction. The proportion of working people in Canada chose services field increased significantly to 81% in 2020, 48% more than that in 1850. In addition to this, there was also a small rise in the number of people working in construction industry from 5% to 8% in 2020. *

The task 1 essay focuses on the ability of the writer to analyze and present the results of the measurement in a factual manner. His personal opinion should never be present in the report. Therefore, points will be deducted for any statement of fact stemming from a personal perspective such as highlights the fact that nowadays . That should be reworded to remove the reference to "highlight" and "fact". Referencing a trend in one of several ways would be more acceptable. The writer should have completed this report within 175 words only since it is only a 20 minute task. The writer will be unable to complete more than 200 + words during the actual test. It is the writer's mistaken assumption that the word count will make him pass the test. Rather, it created constant redundancies in the presentation that indicate a lack of thought clarity and analytical ability along with problems in sentence formation. All of which recieve scores while the word count does not.

Topic: ## Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. ***To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?*** It is understandable that many people believe that the increase in the cost of petrol is the most effective solution to the growing traffic and pollution issues. From my perspective, I partly agree with this theory because I think there are other measures which are applicable to this situation. The growth in the price of petrol may bring some benefits to the traffic and the environment. Firstly, it will force a part of the residents to use other sources of energy which are cheaper and more environmentally friendly. For instance, more and more citizens will travel to work by bike or the rich will adapt to buy an electronic car. Consequently, positively affect our surroundings as it will reduce the amount of CO2 emissions as well as other exhaust gas from traditional transportations which use petrol. Secondly, it will promote the developments of useful technologies which can be used instead of gasoline engines. However, there are still some possible solutions which do not involve the increase in petrol price. First of all, the governments should encourage the residents to use eco-transportations, especially bicycles. These means of transport do not produce harmful gas to the environment and also reduce the traffic jams in rust hours. The Netherlands is the country which most successfully applied this paradigm and it becomes one of the most livable cities without air pollution. To achieve so, propagation should be used widely for the citizens to understand more about the advantages of bikes and therefore create a bicycle-societies. Furthermore, working tools should be quickly replaced by modern technologies, which are more productive and also friendlier to the environment. To reiterate, I believe that despite the benefits that the increase in petrol price creates with the traffic and pollution issues, it is not sustainable and there are more effective ways to solve these problems.

It is important that the essence of the original topic presentation is preserved in the rewording of the writer. That means, the writer should avoid making personal opinion references such as "it is understandable" when depicting the topic presentation. That is because such statements create an immediate discussion presentation where it is not needed nor required. The original topic must be a simple restatement, devoid of the writer's point of view. The point of view should be stated only when depicting his personal opinion in the later part of the paragraph. When stating his opinion, the writer must avoid making a statement of uncertainty such as "I think" because the score of the paragraph will also depend on the clarity and strength of his response to the question. When uncertain references are made, that indicates that the writer does not have a clear opinion of the given topic. Additionally, he must not restate the last instruction provided for the writing. Instead, a specific solution should have been indicated as the secondary response topic for the 2 discussion paragraphs. When expanding on a presented reason, it is important that the writer avoids presenting a secondary topic towards the end of the paragraph that he will not have the space nor time to properly build up in relation to the previously presented statement. That creates an under developed paragraph presentation and causes deductions in the cohesiveness and coherence score. It is better to have one fully developed explanation than one fully developed and one merely mentioned topic sentence in a paragraph. This could very well be the reason the essay may receive an overall failing score.

## the number of films produced in five countries The chart compares and contrasts data on the changes in the number of films produced in five countries over a period of three years. An overview of the diagram reveals that the number of films produced by A and D countries witnessed an upward trend over a period surveyed while the reverse was true for countries B, C and E. To specify, country A had the highest number of films produced. In the year 2007, the number of films produced in country A was 86 films. This figure stayed stable one year later before slow decrease to nearly 80 films in 2009. In the addition, the figure for country D saw a decline slight from 15 films in 2007 to 9 films in 2008 and this figure increased marginally to 12 films in 2009. On the other hand, the reverse was true for countries B, C and E. The year 2008, saw a rose slightly from 50 films to 52 films in 2009, after 50 films increased in the first years, climbed to about 70 films in the following three years. the period also a rise slow in the number of films produced in country C to 8 films in 2007 to 14 films in 2008. Subsequently, there was a saw dramatic growth of the films produced to 17 films. Similarly, the figure for country E grew slightly to 9 films in 2007 to 10 films in 2008 before the whose figure increased to 11 films in the end in 2009. *

A chart is different from a diagram. A chart represents a given measurement for a specific series of comparisons. A diagram presents an illustration of development or creation instructions. Incorrect use of the terms or interchanging the use of the terms chart and diagram will cause point deductions due to improper word usage and confusing presentation formats. The writer failed to completely identify the image presented. As there there are several types of charts represented in actual reports, the report must contain a specific image identification such as "a columnar bar chart" in this instance. Incomplete identification will result in a lower accuracy score. There is also a difference between an overview and a trend. An overview refers to a general outline or summary. A trend indicates a general course representation. The second paragraph is a trending paragraph, not a summary overview. Problems with word usage, due to the author's unfamiliarity with actual terminologies in reference to their meaning will cause lower than expected scores for this essay. The constant incorrect word usage tends to create a confusing report that is not aligned with the original presentation.

## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - money for health care **It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment It is believed that the investment of money in health promotion is more crucial than the treatment of people who are already ill To what extent do you agree or disagree?** It is believed that the investment of money in health promotion is more crucial than the treatment of people who are already ill. In my opinion, I disagree with this view as both the former and the latter have the same importance. Admittedly, there are many good reasons to say that spending money on enhancing a healthy lifestyle is a good way to prevent us from illness. This is predicated on the assumption that when we have healthy diets, and do exercises on a regular basis can improve our overall health. One might argue that only those who have enough finance can purchase salubrious food, and equipment to do exercises. However, this line of reasoning is not sound as people can eat at home, which is cheaper than using fast food and readily-made meals, and they can resort to do other cost-effective activities such as running or jogging rather than doing gym. I am of the opinion that ill people need to have treatments and be spent an equal amount of money. The key reason is there are certain kinds of people should have special treatments. For example, those suffering from incurable diseases such as heart disease or cardiovascular disease, their bodies are required to undergo various treatment stages with medical equipment. Moreover, in economically disadvantaged countries, the phenomenon of lacking medical equiments and budget to meet the requirements of treatment is apparent, thus, spending money on treating ill people is utterly necessary. In conclusion, both peoples's lifestyles and treatments should be funded equally as the former can help us reduce the potential of suffering while the latter could help patients have better methodologies to cure.

The infomation provided in the original prompt was represented properly in the reworded paragraph. That is a plus for this presentation. However, the minus comes from the inadequate response of the writer to the extent question. There are 2 reasons for the inadequacy in the presentation: 1. The writer only disagreed with the opinion provided. The expected measured / emotional response is missing from the final answer. The response will only receive partial scoring due to the incomplete nature of the response format. 2. While it will be acceptable for the writer to take a "middle of the road" response to the question, the lack of thesis statement presentation based on topic reasoning made the response incomplete. The writer has wasted the second paragraph as a scoring consideration. Rather than presenting acceptable reasons for the discussion of a specific opinion, he chose to create an elaborate 2nd introduction to the topic instead. It will not receive any scoring consideration. This leaves the discussion under developed in totality. The opinion the writer presents in the second paragraph does not support his previous claim in his opinion statement. This discrepancy will result in a failed discussion score in reference to the coherence and cohesiveness of the overall paragraphs. The writer has not written a passing score essay. There is no clear connection between the original discussion points and the discussion essay the writer created.

## effect of making by few an extremely huge profit comparing to others Nowadays, the fact that some individuals can make an extremely huge profit compared to others has resulted in a controversy whether it will benefit the country or government should take actions to prevent the consequences it may bring about. In my opinion, I believe these two sides have their strengths and drawbacks. On the one hand, the nation and its people can gain significant benefits from those earning an excessive amount of money. Firstly, the higher salaries individuals earn, the more personal income tax they pay to the government's budget, which will be expended for public facilities and services. Additionally, many rich people often spend their property for charitable activities such as donations, building schools for orphans, helping the homeless and people with difficult circumstances, and so on. More importantly, these high-income people earn their livings, which also benefit the others, mostly by their ability as well as time and endeavor they have spent that may be far more than the rest, which makes it justifiable for them to make such a profit. Thus, it is reasonable for the government to support a few people to keep earning high salaries to some extent. On the other hand, individuals with extremely high incomes in comparison with the others have brought about some significant social issues, particularly the inequality gap between rich and poor. With a large amount of money, the rich have more means to earn more such as investment, relationships, and so on, whereas the poor have lesser and lesser ways to make a living. As a result, the rich get richer, and the poor is poorer, leading to social conflicts, even violent activities. For instance, in the USA, the gap is growing considerably between rich and poor in recent years, with 80 percent of the total nation's property belonging to 1 percent of citizens. Especially due to the COVID-19 pandemic, while the rate of unemployment increases substantially, more and more billionaires have appeared. Consequently, there have been many protests, including violent ones, as well as robberies and even suicides. Therefore, it is urgent for the government to adjust the policy to reduce the gap, probably by controlling the amount one can earn. In conclusion, I believe people have their justification for their high salaries to some length, but it will bring not only benefits but also problems to the community. To solve the problems before it becomes sophisticated, adjustments should be performed by the government.

The first paragraph will lose points for lack of restatement clarity. The 2 public opinions must be presented as individual sentences to avoid long and confusing sentence meanings. The current structure indicates a lack of control over sentence formation on the part of the writer. The first part of the presentation offers a factual statement which indicates a writer's opinion rather than the sentiments of the ouginal prompt. something that should be avoided when completing the restatement part. The writer has not created a clear demarcation in the discussion paragraphs. It appears that both public opinion discussions come from the personal ideas of the writer. There is a lack of public justifications to the presentation as required by the original references to "some people" and "others". These 2 opposing sides must be presented clearly through the correct use of appropriate pronouns. Though the discussions will be given scores, it will not be as high as if these were properly formatted. The writer must never present his opinion as a conclusion. The concluding summary is not structured for additional discussion. Doing so will create an open-ended essay which could lead to a failing score. The concluding summary is an integral and import aspect of this essay that should never be incorrectly formatted.

## freedom of speech essay There is one famous saying by George Orwell : " If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to say what they do not want to hear" , which I completely agree with and I suppose the freedom of speech is necessary in an open society. Human beings are those who have the emotions and the demand to share to one another. I believe that free of speech give chance for everyone the right to talk anything they would like in public as: newspapers. television channel, internet,.. Obviously, once people feel at ease to analyze the current affairs openly with friends, families, so people are satisfied with not refraining inside their heart the thoughts which may lead them to the tension and depression. As long as people are encouraged to point out and report the crime and disseminate it widespread into community, many senseless activities may by prevented ahead . Inevitably, this activity needs a high consistency and firm determination from the reporter. Although the crime declaration is unable to help decreasing the criminal ratio thoroughly ,it contribute to people the bravery, resilience and gives them the courage to overcome the common fear. Moreover, I think that a free society should have the compatible regulation on the freedom of speech to identify whether a speech is right or wrong on ethical standard. There is likelihood that some people autonomously declare fake news to deteriorate others' reputation . The misinformation may bring the devastating effect to ruin one's fame and may cause them the suicide. In conclusion, freedom of speech is essential for all democratic authority which helps developing a transparent and justice-oriented society that all people ever dream of.

I believe that the writer has meant this essay piece for as a task 2 response. In which case, although the word count is appropriate, the overall discussion format is not. For starters, there is no proper prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation in the first paragraph. There should not be an immediate discussion presented as yet in that section as it is only the interpretation of the topic that should be present along with a properly formatted personal opinion. There was no need to cite George Orwell in the presentation at all. Then, the writer presents a lack of personal support for his opinion. The uncertainty of his statements ( I suppose, I think), create a question in relation to clear opinion presentation and supporting facts. This shows a failure of reasoning on the part of the test taker. Since he cannot strongly support his opinions, he cannot convince the readers of the facts that create the foundation for his opinion. Overall, this is a weak essay that will not receive a high score due to the errors in presentation and formatting.

## road access to a city hospital The two maps compare the road access to a city hospital which was done in 2007 and 2010. Overall, there were some significant changes for car park, Hospital Road and bus stations. In 2007, there were about six bus stations nearby the both sides of Hospital Road. There was a car park which was used for both staff and public purposes and the three bus station. The car park was on the right of Hospital Road and nearby the City Road. In 2010, there were some significant changes compared to that in 2007. The six bus stations were then combined into one only on the left of Hospital Road and connected with two roundabouts which were on Ring Road and City Road. The car park was divided into two seperate ones for the staff and public uses which are located on the right of Hospital Road and Ring Road. This is an essay of writing task 1 in Cambridge IELTS 13. I hope to receive helpful advice and feedbacks from you. Thank you so much! *

The overview would have been helped by a clearer separation / differentiation of the maps using the respective years. In fact, that word, "respectively", had it been used in the presentation, would have added a tremendous amount of clarity to the image identification and differentiation requirement. The writer should make that clearer next time to avoid any confusing references or the creation of confusing references within the presentation. Reviewing the image presentations, the changes indicated in the trending sentence are the complete list. So the writer does not need to indicate "some changes" when he is stating the complete changes as indicated in the 2 maps. This will create an inaccurate trending report on his part which the examiner will most likely spot and deduct points for. As far as the rest of the report goes, the information presented is straightforward and acceptable. While the paragraphs could use more development in terms of fleshing out the report, the presentation is enough to get decent scoring considerations per section.

***Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? In retrospect, many schools of thought have contended that humans should have diverted their money to their population rather than the preservation of wildlife. However, from my stance, I would never concur with the statement for two main reasons, as humans and their surroundings have linked inseparably. I am going to illuminate my point of view below. Chief among the reasons is the inseparable link between humans and wildlife, it is recently recorded that the ecosystem has lapsed into imbalance, which factored in the increase of endangered species. As a rule of thumb, the existence of the civilization would be gravely threatened if the extinction rate of animals continues accelerating. A strong example is The African government has recorded myriads of illegal hunting of Sumatran elephants each year, which has rung an alarming bell for their existence and the efficiency of preservation policies. If it is not stopped promptly, not only will the ecology suffer, but the forest's biodiversity will suffer as well. Furthermore, preserving wildlife is equivalent to protecting ourselves, if one side lapses into collapse, it would instigate a domino effect on the left, effectively afflicting human survival on Earth. Enhancing the case, to a greater extent, protecting wild animals would also engender economic levers for the masses, thanks to their attraction to people. Predicating to data from the Texas National Parks and Wildlife Service, the percentage of bird-watching has increased considerably in recent years, which estimated that more than 50 billion dollars are spent on bird watching activities, and north of 90 billion dollars benefited from wild tourism in 2001. In conclusion, I firmly believe that it is worth continuing to spend money and make a concerted effort to protect wild animals because of the enormous advantages that wild animals bring to humans.

It is incorrect for the writer to refer to the idea presented "in restrospect" because the idea is not a past presentation. Rather, it is a continuing school of thought that applies to this very day. by saying "in retrospect", the writer is changing the timeline of the discussion from present to past. This changes the importance of the discussion topic and also, redirects the original sentiment of the discussion. Unless otherwise specified, the writer must always refer to all given thoughts, ideas, and opinions in the present form. There was also no need to use the word "However" in the presentation. The adverb was used incorrectly in this sentence because it failed to properly present a measured extent in the sentence. This word applies more to monetary expense references rather than emotional measurements. So the writer had the right idea, but an incorrect word application due to the actual meaning and usage of the word. The writer is fond of using noun phrases in the essay. The problem is that the application is incorrect, thus making the essay difficult to understand for the native English user. He is trying to impress the examiner using his vocabulary but failing to do so due to his inadequate English word and phrase usage knowledge. He is familiar with the words and phrases, but unfamiliar with the meaning and correct method of using these terminologies.

Topic : ## In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in public and office places. ***Do you think this is a good rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer (at least 250 words)*** In today's world, there is an increasing amount of smokers in every corners of the world. Since the smoke that comes out of the cigarettes has scientifically brought various negative outcomes to human, many governments have prohibited people to smoke in public areas despite having to face some fierce protests. Personally, I totally agree with those decisions and this essay will highlight my opinion as follows. First of all, nonsmokers' health are negatively affected by a process called passive smoking. In fact, it is a scientifically proven fact that passive smokers are prone to have worse health condition than smokers. As they inhale more smoke than that of the smokers, the hazards of being exposed to disorders are higher . Furthermore, the unborn children of women who are pregnant may have counter-intuitively deep-seated disfigurements in their body and brain even worse while their mothers inhale tobacco smoke. In other words, smoking in public areas has severe impact on human's health. Smoking not only puts the physical body of human into significant risk but also wrongly influences the next generations in morality side . Although the consequences of smoking have adverse effects on human's health condition, many youngsters are induced that smoking helps them fulfilling a better image towards their acquaintance while seeing other people smoke. In order to achieve the mentioned purpose , they take smoking as a habit and thus all the efforts of educating the damages of smoking to human are collapsed. In conclusion, smoking produces negative health effects to passive smokers as well as misleads the youth's morality. Only by banning smokers from smoking in public will those problems be ameliorated.(273 words)

To get the maximum base score potential in a task 2 test, the writer must refrain from immediately discussing the topic in the prompt + personal opinion paragraph. This paragraph must be between 2 -5 sentences that only does the following: - Restate the original topic through the writers understanding / basic interpretation. English comprehension skills are tested in this section. - Deliver a reasoning based personal opinion. The personal opinion should state the discussion topics for extended discussion in the body paragraphs. It should be an integrated statement that omits an actual discussion. The writer presents valid reasons in every paragraph. It proves he understands the topic. The problem is that there are no strong discussion points to support the evidence. He should focus less on the number of reasons and more on the smooth reasoning connections to improve the cohesiveness of the presentation. Doing so will strongly prove the coherence of the discussion and increase his scores. Develop the paragraphs properly. Do not omit connecting the reasons in the paragraphs through transition phrases and sentences. Do not rely only on transition words as these do not always provide additional discussion clarity because these are only memorized words taught in ESL and IELTS class. It does not help prove academic writing proficiency at all times.

*SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IT IS GOOD TO SHARE AS MUCH INFORMATION AS POSSIBLE IN SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH, BUSINESS AND THE ACADEMIC WORLD. OTHERS BELIEVE THAT SOME INFORMATION IS TOO IMPORTANT OR TOO VALUABLE TO BE SHARED FREELY.* ## DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION. Some people supposed that it is essential to share information freely on social media while some others opposed it. In this essay, an attempt will be made to discuss benefits and drawbacks of this idea. To begin with, sharing information freely brings some considerable advantages. It helps people around the world access the news easily. In fact, you only need to have a phone connecting with the internet when you can update the information anywhere and anytime. In addition, announcing the findings on the fields such as science, business and technology will help widen the knowleges of people. Furthermore, providing the information on social media will meet the needs of student and promote their self-studying spirit because they can learn numerous knowledge from searching on the websites. On the other hand, those who opposed to unboundedly information sharing have their own views. Firstly, it affects on the benefit of the organizations or researchers who attempt to discover, therefore, some information should be restricted for paying fee if having the demand as a way of respecting the achievement of maker. Secondly, sharing freely will increase in violating of duplicating and copying. In conclusion, it is my opinion that sharing the information freely will help people approach the information easier. However, some vital information should be selected and considered carefully before published. I hope you will give me the comment sand suggestions. Thank you so much!

The writer committed 2 grave errors in this presentation that will cause the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph to receive a failing score: - He mentions social media in reference to information sharing where none was made previously. This makes his restated reference inaccurate and deviant in presentation. It is not an acceptable rewording of the original topic. - Rather than simply stating his opinion after presenting the 2 public viewpoints, he has decided that the essay will be discussed based on the: benefits and drawbacks of this idea Rather than a simple comparative discussion of the public opinion v. his personal opinion. The essay has already failed in totality at this point as the writer did not follow the writing instructions as provided by the original presentation. He created his own discussion basis, which is not related to the previously provided information. He did not understand the discussion instructions and cannot be given a passing score because of this misunderstanding of the response format on his part.

***Some people think that technology makes life complex, so we should make our life simpler without using technology.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree. In light of the proliferation of the technology, human lives is likely to be much more changeable. A number of people have divergent views that their life seems to be swamped with tons of things since technology revealed and they promote a life without high-tech. I do not advocate this statement by illustrating some reasons. Firstly, the development of technology encourages plethora of positive result in the sphere of education. With the aid of cutting-edge technology, school-aged children get more golden opportunities of accessing to novel knowledge rather than exposing to theory knowledge. Both teachers and students are capable of discussing together which is backbone to maintain their good rapport and broadening their horizon in the real world. By showing a principle example, in history lessons, trainer would prefer to display the severe battles throughout the screen of TV to incentivizes students to be more effortlessly remember each special event in each day rather than learn by heart. Secondly, the business domain has seen a surge in recent years. A sheer volume of work runs a higher risk of being figured out thanks to the latest technology. The white collar could eschew traditional communication methods in favor of more time and cost -efficient alternatives such as emails and video calls which is confidential for the information. The most principle example of this matter may be that in the Covid-19 pandemic, they could join in online correspondence meetings with their partner as well as those who are overseas in lieu of facing directly which is a cause for spreading the viruses. To sum up, it is indisputable that living with technology has been gaining significant traction with people from all ages. I take the view that technology is more necessary for human in the future.

When the student states "the technology", he is making reference to a specific technology already. The original prompt does not indicate a specific type of technology for the discussion therefore, a definite article such as "the" should not be used in the sentence. The inclusion of the word does not refer to a noun thereby making it a GRA deduction. The writer is presenting an academic paper. He must avoid using slang English phrases such as "swamped with tons" as this is a highly non-academic phrase presentation. Always bear in mind that the audience for the paper will be academics who are looking for the writer's ability to present his thoughts in an academic and professional manner. A mere "advocation" does not respond properly to the "extent" question. A measured response depicting the strength of his conviction in his opinion is still required. The personal opinion is not question compliant at this point. Having rviewed the total essay, I found that the writer did not meet the extent requirement in the conclusion either, where it should have been presented a second time as a part of the summary conclusion to the reader.

## old buildings versus modern infrastructure A school of thought claims that money allocated to the preservation of old buildings should be better utilized on modern infrastructure. From my point of view, new buildings are more practical, old buildings, on the other hand, are indispensable cultural relics due to their cultural and economic value. Old buildings can serve as witnesses to a city's aesthetic and cultural heritage, providing a sense of place and a connection to the past. Ba Son shipyard, located in Ho Chi Minh City, used to be a major shipbuilding facility during Nguyen Dynasty and a national historic monument. The local or the tourist can typically associate historic structures with renowned historic events and characters such as Nguyen emperors, Ton Duc Thang, assisting young generations to gain an understanding of the contemporary's lives. Society would be losing a lot of our historical and cultural background if demolishing such buildings. Developers tend to be after immediate profit and modernity, yet it is a potential economic gain of historical buildings that they cannot be aware of. Thanks to valuable materials and unique designs of antiquated architectures, older buildings have their own identity and distinctive character, making them seem to be more attractive than modern buildings. Shanghai, which was mostly vacant land across the river, has now been converted to a protected historic center. In addition, the west of the river has become a financial district, a good source of revenue for the government. What's more, repairing and reusing existing buildings uses energy and material resources more efficiently and reduces waste As a consequence of industrialization, the demolition of old buildings for spaces to build modern infrastructure has become a norm these days. however, I firmly believe historical structures are a heritage of any country and ought to receive proper preservation for the government.

A school of thought is a belief or idea that is supported by people. That is not the reference in the original presentation.A direct question was being asked of the writer, whose opinion is the focal point of the discussion. It is the question, as posed to the author, that should have been reflected in the restatement. There is no school of thought provided therefore, the rewrite is inaccurate and does not meet the scoring guidelines for the prompt. There is no clear opinion set before the reader either, which further proves to be a scoring problem for the writer. His personal opinion which is: I firmly believe historical structures are a heritage of any country and ought to receive proper preservation for the government. should have been stated twice in the presentation. Once as the personal opinion response to the question, then, as a restatement of the opinion in the summary conclusion. That is the format adherent way to present the ideas required in this essay.

## impact on child's growth I agree with this viewpoint for two reasons. Firstly, teachers play a fundamental role in providing knowledge for the development of young people. Not only do the teachers arm students with the knowledge they are also of great help to students by giving proper explanations and feedback at the time of need. Besides, teachers are always the ones who encourage their students to study better. For example, teachers' suggestions will be the driving force to promote the activeness and curiosity of students, ending the stagnation of students before new lessons. Secondly, teachers are likely to have a huge impact on a student's personality, since children tend to learn things through observation and imitation. For instance, children who are quiet and live in the shell of their parents when studying in a friendly environment with many interesting things will change their personality. As a result, teachers are an important factor in the assessment of students' performance that their parents may not be able to do.

The writer is responding to a Task 2 IELTS essay as if she were answering a class recitation. This is an unacceptable format that will result in the student garnering a failing score should this have been an actual test. There is no proper formatting within the 4 paragraph requirement, the first problem in this essay. The 4 paragraphs are composed of: - Prompt restatement + personal opinion - 2 reasoning paragraphs - Summary conclusion Seeing as the discussion does not adhere to the scoring requirements, the exam taker will not be able to get maximum scoring points for the individual scoring considerations. All of the reasons presented are rushed and lacking in full discussion developement. This is a non-passing presentation. The student should try again, this time, follow the required formatting for all sections and make sure to properly develop the reasoning paragraphs in a manner that can actually receive scoring credits. If the IELTS requirements are not considered though, the writer shows an understanding of the prompt. There is a simple and acceptable discussion presented in a short manner as well. The student at least shows that the opinion created is related to the discussion.

***It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer.*** ## Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks? People tend to work for a company like a lifetime job and then retire in the past. In today's society, instead of working for an employer, the young generation is likely to start up their own business. This trend has both pros and cons and I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. To begin with, there are several reasons why adults prefer to work for themselves. While working for a company, you have to comply with the time regulation but an entrepreneur can control their working time and freely make their own decision. They can choose employees, projects they want to do and their working schedules. This can raise job satisfaction and avoid working with people and projects that do not spark one's interest. Furthermore, they can keep the profits if they run the business successfully. If their company, for example, have a good reputation, a good quality they will make substantial profits. Therefore they can enjoy their life with that earnings. On the other hand, running a business is very risky. When start-up a business, people will face a lot of problems such as legal formalities, finance, managing income and outcome money and there are a lot of people who were unable to overcome the obstacles. For instance, if you make a wrong decision, you may go bankrupt and your personnel assets could be on the line which is not suitable for those who have dependents. In conclusion, despite the disadvantages of running a business, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, not everyone is able to take the risk and some prefer to work for an employer.

The prompt restatement is too far from the original topic considerations to be considered an accurate rewording of that presentartion. The topic basis has been altered by the author, resulting in a different discussion basis from the original. Such changes result in a lower scoring consideration based on on the inability of the writer to stick with the original discussion points. While the presentation sounds cool and updated in consideration, it does not reflect the original discussion idea. Hence the deviation. The writer also mentions pros and cons, prior to actually responding to the discussion question. Another deviation of the personal opinion kind that will result in a lower TA score for this paragraph. It is important that the writer does not get too creative in restating things in this section. The score is based on adherence to the topic and a clear opinion that directly responds to the question. Do that and you get maximum scoring consideration, get fancy and change things too much from the original and the essay gets a failing score at the very start. That is not the place you want to start the essay from.

## the issue of progress and economyy For many nations of the world, economy is regarded as the most desirable achievement there is. While economy is certainly relevant to the survival of a country, I opine that there are many more respects to it than just financial well-being. On the one hand, those who prioritize only their economical goals have their defensible grounds. Firstly, the financial health of the state is one the foundational elements in maintaining its aspects, whether it be health care, education, or science and technology. Most researches as well as advancements require some sort of governmental funding, which is only available if the country is thriving economically. Secondly, an economy plays a decisive role in the people's well-being. With a successful economy comes higher living standards, better health care and education and decrease in crimes due to better job opportunities. In short, the importance of the economy to a nation is equivalent to that of the spine to a body. On the other hand, to only prioritize one's economy would be insufficient, other factors, such as the environment, should be taken into consideration as well. As can be observed from history, the process of industrialization and modernization has caused nature to suffer incredibly. In the exemplary case of China and India, their industrial developments, which have lead to buoyant economies, engendered air pollution to exacerbate. It was so serious that not until the Covid pandemic put their economical activities into a complete halt could the heavy dust clouds be ameliorated, the sky be seen and the people breathe safely without masks. In conclusion, even though essentializing the economy is sensible, it is advisable for authorities to also take environmental issues and the such just as seriously. Please help with my essay, be brutal and point out as many mistakes as possible. Thanks in advance!

The prompt restatement is inaccurate. It fails to represent both public opinions prior to the writer's point of view on the matter. Therefore, his opinion and personal reasoning, as stated, tends to lack validity. The paragraph can only receive a partial TA score since the presentation is only partially accurate. The discussion fails to properly compare the basis of the public reason with his own. The strength of his opinion in this type of writing comes from his ability to fairly opine based on the public perception. Why does he believe one POV to be true and the other false? How does his personal reasoning fit in the context of both public perceptions? The current discussion is generally based on a personal point of view alone which does not create an open discussion of the 2 public opinions as per the prompt requirements.

**TOPIC: *The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. ## Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant*.** **MY WORK:** The table illustrates the proportion of national consumers' expenditure on various items in five selected countries in the year 2002. In general, it is clear that all five countries mostly spent on food/drinks/tobacco, while leisure/education accounted the least. First of all, Ireland and Turkey had the highest percentage of expenditure on food/drinks/tobacco with 28.91 per cent and 32.14 per cent respectively. Italy, Spain and Sweden, on the other hand, did not have as much expense on this category as the rest. For clothing/footwear, the majority of the selected countries shared a quite similar amout. However, Italy stood out with 9 per cent spent on the category. Spain accounted the lowest proportion for leisure/education with only about 2 per cent. The percentage were slightly higher for Ireland, Italy and Sweden, and Turkey was in the lead with over 4 per cent. Overall, the table provides information of five particular countries' spending on three different categories, where the expenditures were mostly spent on food/drinks/tobacco. ----------------------------------------- Thank you for reading my essay, any contributions are greatly appreciated. Have a great day! * *Percentage of National Consumer Expenditure by Category - 2002*

A 4 paragraph report is only acceptable when 2 images are provided for the comparative reporting task. Where only one image is present, only 3 paragraphs are required. Forcing a 4 paragraph development results in improperly formatted paragraphs (2 sentences where 3-5 is the norm) and a lack of proper analysis presentation. It is important that the writer compress the information into an understandable 3-5 sentence paragraph instead. By using 3-5 sentences within a 3 paragraph presentation, the writer will be able to better develop a concise report that meets all of the scoring requirements. It is important that the focus of the report is on the specified reporting and comparison information. These are presented in the 2 paragraphs after the summary. Whether a report then a comparison or vice versa is presented is left to the discretion of the reporter / author. The writer, due to his unfamiliarity with the reporting format for the task 1 essay, has accidentally provided 2 trending statements. The first as a part of the summary overview and the second, as the last presentation in this essay. While the trending statement may be presented anywhere within the report, it must be presented only once. So the writer needs to always proof read his work to make sure that there is no duplication of information in the report.

**TOPIC: *It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion*.** **MY WORK:** These days, people generally believed that many people have unique abilities when they were born, whereas others do not. On the other hand, there are still opinions stating any child can be trained to have a special talent. In this essay, I will be discussing both of these claims and then offer my own opinion. Firstly, there are definitely people who had special skills when they were born or were very little. Some of them might be a superb pianist or an active football player. These can be especially benefit for children as they have the opportunity to develop their skills from a young age, and, as a result, they might become an outstanding person in the future. In contrast, there are still children who are not as unique as the rest as they do not carry unique skills at a small age. However, it is not impossible to teach a child to play sports or music. Nowadays, with an amazing growth of technology as well as training methods, educating kids to do such things is now not a concern. A majority of sportspeople, musicians and actors, for instance, are taught as they grow up and yet most of them are now successful in their careers. In conclusion, we can see that although it is incredible to be given with special talents since you were born, but it is still achiveable for children who are ready to learn. From my point of view, I totally believe that any child can learn any talents, as long as they are passionate about what they do. ----------------------------------------- Thank you for reading my essay, any contributions are greatly appreciated. Have a great day!

In the first sentence of the prompt restatement, the writer uses the past tense "believed" rather than the current reference "believe". by using the past tense, he indicates that this line of thinking is no longer applicable, altering the original statement. He must be conscious of the fact that by using the incorrect time reference, he will end up losing points as this clearly shows a grammar accuracy problem. It also shows a lack of care while writing since he is did not proofread his work for accuracy. The second sentence fairs better in terms of referencing the actual time reference of the discussion, which means that only a minimal deduction will be applied to the prompt restatement section. As for the personal opinion presentation, the writer failed to clearly state his opinion, something clearly indicated by "... and state your opinion." The opinion statement + thesis basis are the last part of the TA scoring considerations. The opinion must be presented, along with the reason for the opinion which can be dealt with later on in the reasoning paragraphs. 2 opinions can be stated in this section. One writer's opinion for each public opinion as presented in the prompt. In both discussion paragraphs the writer does not complete the discussion development by using a comparative analysis of the public opinion v. his personal thoughts on the matter. When asked to discuss both views, the writer is expected to display his pronoun usage knowledge by developing paragraphs that highlight the comparison through the use of proper third and first person pronouns. That way the public view is properly compared to his personal opinion which may support or not support the given opinion for specific reasons. Why is this comparison pronoun usage important? The focus of this essay is on the grammar range of the student. That means, he must be able to carry on a comparative discussion in a clear manner, referring to different parties as needed in the discussion.

***Question: Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives. So then it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Newspaper and electronic news are some of the most popular media to keep people updated with current circumstances around the globe. While many individuals think they are useless due to their irrelevant content to society, I completely differ on this opinion attributed to several reasons. First and foremost, the newspaper provides knowledge ranging from social subjects to scientific fields. In order to meet the needs of all kinds of readers, the topics of news articles and programs are diverse. For instance, The Guardian - one of the most popular newspapers - offers a user-friendly interface which is precisely divided into specified pages such as social news, environmental issues, medical and scientific breakthroughs which allow viewers to find desired information easily. As a result, they can apply these pieces of knowledge in reality, which proves the practical use of news. Many university professors also encourage their students to read the news to help with their research. Another important point is that the newspaper is an ideal tool to connect civilization. Since the majority of the population cannot afford overseas vacations, newspapers and news programs seem to be the perfect visualizations of other cultures. Given the fact that reporters are required to interview local witnesses, information from the news is considered objective, realistic, and accurate. Furthermore, electronic newspapers are now available in several languages and locations so that foreigners can learn about others without traveling. ASEAN sports newspaper exemplifies this precisely. During the COVID-19 pandemic, when people cannot watch football matches directly, not only do news articles keep viewers updated but the comment section also allows football supporters to discuss with others regardless of their geographic distance. Therefore, without face-to-face interactions, different communities can still be connected and tightened thanks to the news. In conclusion, I firmly believe that news is excelled at connecting different people owing to the availability of global access and an excessive amount of knowledge offered. It is highly recommended for people, especially youngsters, to read newspapers to broaden their horizons. Can you give me some feedback on my essay? Thank you so much!

It is important that the writer does not imply his personal opinion in the opening sentence of the prompt restatement + personal opinion section. That is because the task accuracy score of this section, relies on the method by which the exam taker can restate the original prompt, without altering the original slant of the discussion. That alteration happens when the writer presents a non-supported bit of information that is not found in the original presentation. This is what happened in this scenario. The writer presented information that cannot be seen once the examiner compares his prompt restatement with the original prompt. That lack of support is what will cause the points deductions due to alterations. That is why I advise the students to avoid presenting non-related information in the prompt restatement. Restate the original topic and public opinions sentence by sentence, without any additional information. Additional information may only be presented, with points awarded for it, in the personal opinion statement as the added information will give clarity to the opinion of the writer in a summarized form. These are the exact reasons why the current prompt restatement + personal opinion of the writer cannot be considered accurate nor worthy of a passing preliminary score. It does not fall under the guidelines that would allow it to get a high paragraph scoring consideration. The writer has also forced several errors in his writing presentation that will prevent the awarding of passing or high scores based on the scoring rubic. This was the outcome of the overwritten, but not proof-read essay. With almost 400 words written, I am worried that the writer will miss out on writing a truly quality and content based essay during the actual test. Keep the discussions simple and within 300 words only. 275 words being the most ideal number of words that will help the test taker avoid too many point deductions during the actual test. The essay tries to discuss too much, but develops too little of the content. One will gain a better score with a single, but fully developed presentation topic in a paragraph, than presenting several topics, but not really developing the explanation to a believable extent for each. The reader is not convinced of the validity of the discussion because of too many points being made in the presentation. Focus on one topic or two related topics next time. 2 topics that can be connected through the correct use of transition words, phrases, or better yet, transition sentences.

## evaluation of online education In the digital age, there has been a dramatic increase in the number and variety of online courses available to students. Some students perceive it as an advantageous aid for themselves while taking exams and doing most tests; while, others claim that when studying online, they can not grasp their knowledge effectively. This essay will discuss both benefits and setbacks. On the one hand, students can establish a flexible schedule and reduce greatly expenses through online learning courses, which means that students are able to learn at an appropriate time and invest their savings in a lucrative business. This actually gives them a chance to gain new skills, accumulate knowledge in the field that they're fond of. Besides, studying online provides students with undemanding learning conditions, so students rarely withstand peer pressure. On the other hand, online learning courses limit students' communication with each other so they are deficient in communicative skills, which may affect their futuristic occupation greatly. Furthermore, almost every online learning course emphasizes theory rather than practice. As a result, students are lack of practical aspects, which is attributed to passive learning methods. This is the reason why they find it less effective learning than that of the classroom. In brief, online courses can be both positive and negative. However, if students know how to figure out an advisable learning method, online courses will be functional and fruitful.

There is a problem with the implied prompt in this presentation which will prevent me from offering an accurate review of the essay. The writer has chosen to create his own prompt that combines 2 distinctly different topics: 1. Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Classes 2. Advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course Therefore, the writer will not be able to present a valid discussion for either prompt that can be properly scored within a 4 paragraph presentation. An exam taker practicing for the test should never attempt to create his own prompt for practice essays. It results in a messed up and invalid prompt presentation. It is not reviewable within the required parameters. I am confused as to which of the 2 aforementioned prompts he is responding to. his title and the content are not connected / the same.

## the value of fuel and other goods exported ***The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** The charts demonstrate the value of products exported, especially in fuel, food, manufactured goods of one country during the 5-year period from 2000 to 2005. The price of goods exported from this country increased in general but particularly, these figures decreased by 50000 dollars between the year 2000 and 2002 and began to rise sharply 4 years later which nearly tripled in the final year than that in the initial year. The value of export was not the same between different kinds of goods within one country. It is clear to see from the charts that there were three trends of exported value corresponding to fuel, food and manufactured goods. Firstly, food had the least contribution in the total value export which remained stable at 5000 dollars level during 6 years. Secondly, the profit earned from selling fuel to others of this country made up the highest figure in 2000 but these declined gradually through 2000 to 2005. For manufactured goods, this data fluctuated between 2000 and 2005 from nearly 16000 dollars to approximately 25000 dollars. PLEASE HELP ME. THANK YOU VERY MUCH * *

Charts are the general reference to the measurements provided in an image. Such a reference is considered vague and not very useful in presentations where accurate referencing is a must. The correct image description is needed to help the reader understand the type of measurements used and, allow them to plot the same on their own if they have to. Therefore, the report must be specific about the type of chart used. In this case, the reference should be 2 line charts. The plural of the word is used to indicate 2 seperate line chart functions. The number of charts should be used to clearly seperate the information contained in each chart. A collective summary such as the one presented here lacks clarity and cannot help in the reconstruction of the said image. There are 2 images presented. Whenever there is more than 1 image present, the writer must use the 4 paragraph format in order to create a clear separation in information references. His spacing in the page must be clear. The Enter or Return button must be used to clearly show the paragraph separation in reference to information presentation. That is not very clear in this current format and as such, makes it appear like there are 2 paragraphs that were incorrectly formatted. The writer has an option for the summary overview: - Combine the trending reference with the summary to create a single paragraph of up to 5 sentences. - Create a separate trending reference of at least 3 sentences to meet the minimum paragraph requirement. Either way is acceptable but, the first representation normally gets the higher score.

## Young Leadership **Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.** (I need a feedback, thanks) The debate surrounding whether or not youngster has the ability to play roles in making the right national decisions is one of the most charged in the context of civilization and globalization. While the proponents postulate that the youth is the key to innovation and open - minded ideals, the others take a dim view of young people's maturity so as to embrace the tremendous responsibility handling the role of bureaucrats. This essay will shed lights on both views along with personal advocacy of propelling youngster's enthusiasm in tackling national issues. As for old flames, carrying special burden of responsibility of being the national representatives, though arduous, is their pride and considered as a sense of achievement after years of gaining experience. Thus, older leaders excel owing to a multitude of rationales. Outstandingly lies in themselves unswerving loyalty to their jobs. The elderly have been working for the most of their lives, thus they do not actually aspire to open more doors to greater achievement and have tendency to stay stable while a young member would rush to achieve own targets. According to a report published by the BLS, 'the length of time a worker remains with the same employer increases with the age at which worker began the job', which means the young are more prone to change their jobs, especially when they are under pressure of working in the government. In addition, the more people work, the more relationships they form, especially in diplomats. Justifiably, the elderly have strong network preferably to younger generations. A study conducted by the Center on Aging and Work at Boston College pointed out that 46% of employer respondents reported to have better - built professional and clients network compares to the rest are above 40 years old. Advantageous as it seems, letting young people work at national departments, in fact, is a great decision. In contrast to the elderly's calmness and tolerance, youngsters dare to raise their voice and are willing to be 'uncomfortable'. It is stepping out of their comfort zones that clarifies the issues existing in nations, it is something older folks have missed. Understanding that they have the privilege to exert impacts, the youth know they have to take on those daunting tasks including pointing out unraveled issues in every corner of the society or having tough conversations against what they assume atrocious to the community, etc. Born in the digital era, teenagers these days are open - minded as well as having more profound insights into solutions towards national problems which previously might have been ignored or superficially solved. Astonishingly, it is their way of thinking and solving problems that makes the country more civilized and developed, both in society and in technological aspects. It has been seen through recent years when people witnessed young leaders speak up for folks, putting their efforts into unravelling novel values, breaking the assumptions and connect with one another to built organizations that support their answers to gender inequality, discrimination, racism, etc such as AIESEC, UNICEF, the Sanitation Army, etc. To encapsulate, youngsters are able to work in the government as they are innovative, sharp and brave to face the issues. Should the young be trained more in the future, nations will stand chances of witnessing rapid development in every aspects.

I take it that the writer is reviewing for the IELTS test alone. Something that I surmised because, instead of writing a simple 4 paragraph response paper, he wrote a 2 page opinion paper instead, as if submitting the paper in a classroom setting. That is an error in judgement on the part of the author. The test wishes to do a simple, written conversation type of English test. It is not something that needs to be over informed, nor over presented. It only needs to have sufficient information to prove the English comprehension and writing skills of the exam taker. There are only 40 minutes allotted to write the best quality essay during the test. That is not accomplished by simply writing a long essay. That normally results in a failing essay test due to scoring deductions that could possibly be applied. The test will already fail due to exaggerated word usage, incorrect usage of terms, and often confusing references. All of which stem from the effort the writer is making to impress the examiner with his word usage. That is exactly where the long writing errors come in. This is not a mere vocabulary test. It is a test of language usage accuracy for the most part. Something this essay clearly fails to do. Unless the writer learns to write less, but with more meaning, he will not be able to pass the test. Consider all the scoring considerations and write accordingly, within no more than 300 words. Then, maybe, the author will have a chance to pass the test. As of now, that is not possible.

## **The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.** The line chart illustrates the percentage of Australian people born in different countries of the world from 1976 to 2011. The initial impression from the chart is that the figure for people born in Asia and Other enjoyed an upward trends, while that the opposite was true for the UK. Addition, The total population witnessed a slight decrease within first 25 years then increased 10 years later. The proportion of Australian people who were born in UK, Other and Asia are approximately 14%,11% and 13% respectively. Over the next 25 years, Australian people born in UK witnessed a dramatic decrease of nearly 7% in 2001, in contrast to the figures for Other and Asia went up steadily to around 12% and 7% correspondingly. As can be seen from the total figure, Australians gradually decreased from around 22.5% in 1976 to nearly 20% in 2001. In the following 10 years, the percentage of Australians born in UK dropped to 5%, while that there were a significant increase of 15% and above 12.5% in the number of population of Asia and Other sequentially. In addition, the total figure reached its highest peak at 25%. * *The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the w*

The summary overview the writer has presented is conflicting. There is a difference between the meaning of "the world" and "parts of the world". The former refers to a totality, while the latter indicates certain areas only. The image refers to only specific parts of the globe, hence "parts of the world". This is an error in phrase reference that has affected the validity of the report and will receive deductions for its inaccurate referencing. For the trending summary, it is best to mention general references without actually mentioning any specific countries yet. Using a simple upward and downward trend based on the years indicated would have sufficed and been better marked in terms of summation.