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*WRITING TASK 2 (A country's internal affair) **Topic:*** ## Should countries be given a right to interfere in other countries' internal affairs? Whether "to intervene" or "not to intervene" remains a nagging question when considering a nation's long-term political blueprint. Intervention in other nation's internal issues has always been practiced ever since time immemorial, either directly or indirectly, to a good cause or for a bad end. In my opinion, whether or not a nation is entitled the right to execute external forces upon a nation's domestic affairs hinges on the multilateral viewpoints about the nature of such interference. It stands to reason that a nation in the throes of multiple matters that are against its prosperity and its citizen's welfare could consider foreign intervention as a means of financial or humanitarian aid. In this respect, such an act clearly is not against the law from a global perspective and should be given ample support to make itself come to fruition. The Thailand cave rescue in 2018 is a case in point. Without extensive foreign support of rescue personnel and financial funding for needed evacuation equipment, perhaps we would not ever see all the ill-fated boys again. Such an act of external support could also come in the manner of treaty or memorandum, which requires mutual reciprocity between "the givers" and "the receivers", thus stands no ground for hostility and fresh ground for sustainability. However, not all affairs could be subject to foreign external forces. Some matters, such as a nation's long-term development blueprint, are often classified and sidelined from public attention, let alone from foreign observation. There are some acts of intervention violating the international laws that entitles a nation to their utmost right of independence, self-regulation and sovereignty. Any attempts to intrude in these matters would bring a breach of such rights, and are riven with opposition. The recent invasion of the US into Afghanistan, even though labeled by the US itself as a crusade to spread democracy and take it to extreme, is explicitly a violation of universal law. Since then, Afghanistan has come under war cripples and bloodshed conflicts, which plunge itself further into the abyss. In short, whether a nation should be entitled the right to intervene in other countries' domestics depends on the moral aspect of the intervening acts. At one end of the spectrum any attempts to improve a country's welfare and promote its prosperity should be welcomed and sufficiently supported, while against-the-morality undertakings must be totally banned from fruition. (388 words)

There is no need to overstate the discussion topic in the task 2 essay. The examiner is just looking for a quick interpretation of the topic and an even quicker combined opinion and thesis sentence. The emotional or analytical discussion should not be contained in this paragraph. The overstatement in this case went into an expression and explanation of the writer's opinion already. It is misplaced. A thorough discussion was provided to the point of the simple discussion getting lost in the essay. The writer has not provided an everyday opinion, which is the requirement of the task. The words used are not that of everyday consideration either. Though the words used are intellectual, it does not apply to the task expectations. This is just an everyday conversation, it was turned into a UN speech by the writer. Totally forgetting his target audience and expected word usage. Task 2 essays have simple requirements: 1. Keep it short and clear between 250-300 words 2. Use conversational English 3. Write for the target audience

## Are parents best teachers? ***Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer*** Whether the parents are the best teachers has been long discussed, it plays an indispensable role in each individual's life. Some people may think that parents are the best mentors, while it is my earnest hope that parents are not the best teachers in a person's life. Parents are excellent teachers, but they are not the best. I felt this way for plenty of reasons. To begin with, parents are the first people who teach and tell us how to live. But the sooner you grow up, the more people you will meet. For instance, teachers will tutor you and correct your mistakes. Teachers not only do they give us knowledge but also manners, respect, and more. They give us more than our parents do. In addition, our parents are much older than us; so do their experiences. However, that means they may not understand us deeply. Modern people are so busy that they rarely talk to and communicate with their family members. It causes an enormous generation gap between parents and children. Since parents are not the people who know us the most, I sincerely believe parents are not the best instructor in our life. Last but not least, we are not learning things from a specific person who inspires us at home or school at all times, but we learn from our mistakes. It is the most important thing of all and makes you a lot of progress. They are inevitable, but the only thing that won't change is changing itself. Failure makes you stronger and braver. Hence, mistakes are the best teacher. To sum up, we've discussed who is the best teacher of all time. Parents are not the best teacher who can make their kids better because they grow up and is more sensitive than parents has thought. In this way, I firmly harbor the belief that goes with the idea parents are not the best mentors.

To meet the writing requirements of a simple prompt like this within 40 minutes, do not write more than 300 words, regardless of the paragraph requirement. Learn to identify the paragraph number for the discussion as well. It is always safest to use only 2 reasoning paragraphs. So it should not be more than 4 paragraphs per presentation. The paraphrase should have started at the current 2nd sentence, ending with the summarized 2 reason presentation in support of the opinion. The current first sentence does not help with the restatement as it is a repetition of the point made in the second sentences which was more effective. All 3 reasons are effective but only 2 fully explained reasons should have been used Any of these reasons could have been better developed. I believe that a more cohesive essay could have been produced using the last 2 reasons in the essay. These would have been the more connected and convincing points. There need notbe several reasons present, only 2 well explained ones. The summation should only refer to "I" instead of "We" since "YOU" wrote the opinion paper. Proper and relevant pronoun usage is a must. Good close by the way.

## Writing task 2 (housing shortage) Some people believe that only government move can deal with housing shortage in some specific areas. In my view, I'm totally agree with this statement because every economic decision or rule that government made can affect the housing price standard and also housing shortage. First of all, I believe that if government make a rule to limit the rate of birth, there is enough supply for the resident to own the house. In 2022, the world's population has reached over 7 billion people, when the population increase rapidly, it means a high demand of housing appears, but the supply is not enough for them. So the government should make a rule for their country to remain the population. For example, every family should only have a kid to control the daily bill and, it is enough housing supply for them to own. Secondly, government can use the tax that the people pay through the daily bill to build the public house. In the modern world, everything has been taxed on, and it is a big amount of money just in a period of time so the government can spend that money to construct the public house. For instance, if people just pay 50 dollars for the tax and the country's population is 300 million it will be 15 billion dollars just to build the public house and government will sale it with the cheaper price for their resident. In conclusion, I strongly agree that just government can solve the housing shortage because they can make the rule to limit the rate of birth and also build the public house by using the tax money.

The problem actually refers to "big areas" rather than " specific areas". This is a synonym phrase error that created an inaccurate prompt topic reference. Make sure that alternate word usage does not change the orginal foundation of the discussion. Good work on the opinion statement and reasoning summary. While not grammatically perfect, it still delivers a non. confusing basis for the writer's opinion. The writer has a problem with his verb tense presentations. His tendency is to mix\_up the references which affects the sentence structure with downward scores. He also misuses contractions in the presentation. He will do well to remember that contractions should be fully avoided in such discussion essays. Serious grammar problems came into view when the reasoning paragraphs came into view. The writer could not present coherent thoughts as he seems to be translating word for word to English from his native language. This practice caused him to produce English sentences that do not meet coherent writing guidelines. While the examiner will see that the writer understood the topic, the lack of cohesive and coherent reasoning will prevent a passing score from being given to the exam taker.

***Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at 7 years old at least. ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.*** There is an increasing tendency that parents put enormous expectations on their offspring when it comes to education. Thus, while some people are of the view that the ultimate time for children to commence their formal schooling is as soon as possible, the others feel it should start at the age of 7. Both merits of the argument will be analyzed before the conclusion will be decided upon. To begin with, an early commencement of study may bring about a plethora of benefits for young schoolers. As children have the access to several disciplines coupled with fields at an early age, this could not only enhance their scopes but nurtures their inborn talents as well, which could be inadvertently neglected. Missouri, a nationwide program in USA, was launched with the purpose of providing education for preschool children. Given that, young schoolers involved in this campaign were significantly more advanced in language development than their peers, and were further along in social development. As this shows, the early initiation of formal schooling could be a holistic approach for children's development. On the other hand, it is well-advised that children should be sent to school at an appropriate age. By following the ordinary educational approach, young schoolers could be well-equipped with requisite physical and mental skills before, which facilitates their knowledge comprehension. This, in the process, may culminate in an unsurpassed academic disciplines results. A case in this point is Eastern Europe nations since children start formal education later and they have shown better schooling results than many other countries. Therefore, the commencement of schooling at an older age could orientate students towards achievements. In conclusion, both sides of the arguments have their own strong supports. However, I believe that parents should allow their offspring to commence their schooling at an early age as a way to nurture their remarkable and precocious natural talents.

The task 2 essay does not come to a conclusion for the reader. The job of the writer in this task is to opinionate but not influence the decision of the reader. He may inform and give a point of view. He may discuss, but he should never indicate making a decision for the reader. That is not the purpose of the opinion statement. In fact, the writer does not establish a clear thought and reason basis in that section of this writing. He mistakenly just repeated the writing instructions instead while also changing the writing instructions at the same time. Showing that he misunderstood the writing instructions will lower his score overall. The writer does not use the correct comparative discussion format (public v.personal) in the essay. The general discussion does not reflect a comparative analysis of both view considerations. There should be a heavy use of mixed pronoun usage in this discussion due to the nature of the discussion. Where does the public consideration end and the personal aspects begin? There is no proper view division and openon clarity presented. The essay cannot receive high marks due to the improper format and incomplete discussion development.

Hi everyone, please help me with this writing essay, I currently at band 6.0 and I am trying my best to achieve band score 7.0 in my writing test. ## Some universities offered online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. ***Do you think this is a positive or negative development?*** In this day and age, with the advent of the Internet, the tendency which conventional classrooms have been supplanted by virtual ones comes as no surprise. Personally, I deem this transformation contains itself both bright side and dark side. On the one hand, online classes offers learners a host of benefits. First, students stand a better chance to enroll in a wider variety of courses which are distant away from where they live. For instance, having taken lessons provided by traditional classes, students are welcomed to join extra foreign virtual classes, which is helpful for them to fulfil their weak area of knowledge and broaden their horizon as well. Second, as far as money is concerned, aside from tuition fee, accommodation and transportation expenditure are also a heavy cross to bear for overseas students. Therefore, if more courses were held on an online platform, these expenses could be cut off significantly, which partly lightens students' financial burden. On the other hand, this alternative form of learning also comes with some downsides. To begin with, learning on an online platform requires a certain level of commitment and discipline. If learners do not devote sufficient efforts to their study, they will fall behind with their peers in terms of academic performance. Moreover, in some rural areas there are usually deficiencies in home Internet connections and modern gadgets. Because of that, it is impossible to provide students from those places with equal access to such online classes. Consequently, in spite of the aforementioned advantages, computer-based learning fails to reach all kinds of students in our society. In conclusion, the alternative learning has its own advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I am of the opinion that this approach should be adopted as a complementary method besides compulsory offline courses due to some justifications listed above.

The reason that the target band score is currently unachievable is simple. It is clear to the examiner that the writer understands the discussion topic but not how to discuss it. Understanding what the question is, but not providing the correct response format results in less than stellar results. A familiarization with discussion formats should help. All task 2 essays are, by default, single opinion essays. What does this mean? Where the word "or" exists in a response choice, the writer must choose to defend only one opinion instead of 2. In this written debate, he should defend one side alone. The side he believes he can defend using 2 supporting reasons. Only when directly asked to discuss or compare should he find a positive reason for both sides. Once the writer understands this difference, he will begin to respond to the discussions in the expected format.

## the proportions of British students who were able to speak other languages The pie charts demonstrate the data of students in UK at a university in British who were able to speak additional languages to their native language over the course of 10 years starting in 2000. It is measured in percentages. It is noticeable that Spanish became the largest segment over 10 years. The lowest contribution was made by German. It is apparent that Spanish became the ubiquitous language that students spoke in 2000, which accounted for 30 percent. In addition, this language rose to just over a third. By contrast, German only made up a tenth in 2000. In 2010, although German still remained stable segment, it was the least language for using in students. As can be seen from the chart, with an increase to 20 and 15 percent those who spoke another language and two other languages became the second and a third largest group in the next 10 years. French were the only language that fell from 15 to 10 percent.

The summary overview is confusing. It is difficult to understand the information because of problems with sentence clarity and word referencing. For example, English is the language spoken in the UK, which includes Britain. British is the reference used to identify people from Britain. This is why the sentence presentation is difficult to understand. The writer does not show an ability to show proper referencing abilities in English. By the way, how manypie charts were presented? I am unclear about that too. Since the measurements were presented in percentages, it makes no sense to use fractional references at the start. The uniformity of data presentation in relation to coherence and cohesiveness is lost. Do not stray too far from the original data presentation. There is no need to confuse the issue.

**You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.** ## us charities - revenue sources and expenditures The pie chart demonstrates the proportion of both revenue and expenditure of one charity in the USA, in the year 2016. As an overall statement, it is apparent that donated food registered the highest figure in the amount of money received, while the charity spent the highest money on program services. Moreover, the total money on revenue sources is much larger than the expenses's. As incipient details, donated food was preponderantly provided in the total revenue of the charity, which was more than four-fifths. In addition, community was also contributed to the money received of that charity, which was the second largest figure, and had a disparity of 10.2% to the revenue from the program. Nonetheless, income came from government, investment and other sources were not contributed as much to the total income sources: 0.2% to 0.4% severally. Shifting the focus to the other pie chart, program services accounted for nearly all the expenses, which was about 95%. This figure, therefore, had a gap of 93.2% to the fundraising expenditure and 94.2% to the general charity management expenses. The total money allocate for those activities was nearly 53.2 million dollars; meanwhile, the total income was just enough to cover the expenses, which was approximately 53.5 million dollars. *

The summary is not as accurate as it could be. Some incorrect information was provided that reduced the authority of the report. The reference to "one charity" should have been directed towards a "childrens charity" instead. Such information oversight will reflect in the accuracy considerations of the report. It shows that the writer did not compare the provided data with his interpretation. The number of images in relation to the discussion were also not provided. Proper image comparison references are messing. Definite scoredowns will take place. Use of advanced vocabulary will be noted. However, the advanced language used is more in line with specific fields rather than relevant day to day usage. It will minimally help the score as the writer does not use the term within the nature of the text. Keep it simple next time. Focus on presentation clarity instead. Something that is lacking in several instances of this report.

***Q: Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole*** ## Do you agree or disagree? My e: Some people believe that requiring teenagers to help the regional community in their spare time but without salaries can bring back advantages to both adolescence and society. This essay agrees with this standpoint. Learning new knowledge is the first benefit that teenagers can achieve. To be more specific, instead of spending a lot of time playing games or watching movies, youth could study more about life in the local state. In this case, they would know the issues around them and how to solve them correctly. For instance, they can learn to plant trees, paint the wall and sweep the street. In addition, teenagers can make relationships with many new friends. Specifically, they would know how to communicate with others and become more confident. Furthermore, neighborhoods can save a lot of money in hiring workers to keep the public clean. Instead of that, they can use adolescence as volunteers to do the lightweight jobs. Thanks to the help of teenagers, society can still improve but not waste a large amount of funding. And the money that was not used can spend on children and youth development or enhance the quality of living in the local community. Hence, society could be better if more and more teenagers participated in this kind of activity. In conclusion, this is a good practice requiring adolescence to improve their local area without money. From my perspective, I agree with it because youth can enhance their knowledge and regional state can save more money and spend it on children's development or residents' life.

The phrase "regional community" is too wide a synonym for "local community ". A region covers a vast area of a city or state. The original reference is smaller, more like a "town". Remember that alternative word usage accuracy is a major scoring consideration. Where the alternate reference is incorrect, expect LR deductions to be applied. Review the discussion question. It asks the question: Do YOU agree or disagree? YOU. Seeing as the essay is not writing itself, it cannot be referred to as the writer of the paper. An essay does not have an opinion until the writer states his own perspective. It is this first person idea that must be represented in the opinion response so, indicate that. Take ownership of the response by addressing the "you" question with "I". Thus meeting the question response format correctly in terms of perspectives. Do not forget to outline the reasoning summary to support it. Truth be told, the current summary conclusion would have been the perfect response for this section. All things considered though, the reasoning paragraphs work to the benefit of the scoring needs of the exam taker. The explanations are solid and shows how well the writer can discuss the topic in a quick and related manner. That should help offset the exsisting errors in the other sections.

## fish and meat consumption **The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The line graph represent the how many people spend the money on 4 different kind of meat in a European country over a period of 25 years. It is clear that the chicken meat of spending was increased and it had highest figure by 2004, while beef was dramatically fall, it just about over 100 per person a week. By 1979, the number of chicken started to rising, the number overtake the lamb and beef in about 10 years, and rise from around 150 to just under 250 per person per week between 1979 and 2004. In contrast, the figures of beef and lamb was noticeable decreasing about under 150 and 100 per person per week between 1979 and 2004. While, the fish meat were the lowest number, and it were the most stable figure in the graph, around 50 per person per week in this period of 25 years. *

The instruction is to have the writer produce at least 150 words. He was not instructed to write exactly 150 words. Producing only 150 words for the total text is a scoring disservice. The writer does not fully analyze and report on the given data. He is just presenting the given data without other considerations. Maximum scoring benefits are not achieved with that member. The best scores are achieved between 175-200 words. Rushing to meet the minimum requirement, while sacrificing sentence clarity and information completeness affects the coherence of the essay presentation. It affects the cohesiveness of the paragraphs. The writer created an essay that falls short of reporting and analysis expectations for the report. It will be a stretch for this essay to achieve even a base passing score. The potential of the writer to pass the test is there. However, the writer can only improve his score if he tries to excel more in terms of analysis and reporting. Deliver a more accurate task 1 essay.

## coffee export analysis The given chart provides information on how much coffee was exported from 3 mentioned countries: Brazil, Colombia and Costa Rica from 2002 to 2012. Overall, there was an increase in the amount of coffee exported in all nations examined with the figure for Brazil being the highest number. The output of exported coffee in Brazail started at around 14millions, after which it saw a dramatic rise to 20 millions in 2008. By contrast, the figures for Colombia and Costa Rica dropped from 5 millions and 15 millions to just over 2.5 millions and 13 millions respectively. In addition, it's clear that the amount of coffee marketed overseas in Colombia in the year 2008 by far the lowest figures throughout the period. From 2008 to 2012, the quantity of coffee exported from Colombia rose the most significantly compared with that of the other countries, reaching exactly 15 millions at the end of the time frame. The figures for Brazail and Costa Rica saw similar changes, but to a lesser extent, growing to approximately 25 millions and 15 millions respectively.

I am unclear as to what type of image was provided for analysis. I cannot imagine how the measurements are presented and what these measurements are based on. The summary overview is not as effective as it can be in helping the reader draw an effective mental image. Work on using effective image names and additional relevant information in this section to allow for a more helpful and informative summary. Be aware of the presentation format. The spacing between paragraphs makes this confusing. Is it a 3 or 4 paragraph presentation? If only 1 image is provided then this should be a 3 paragraph essay. Learn to combine the summary and trendin an effective manner to fit this need. There are instances of unclear sentences in the paragraphs. The writer does his best to avoid this but his lack of control over word usage and punctuation marks get in his way. He must improve these 2 grammar problems to avoid deductions in this scoring section.

## What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? ***Write at least 250 word*** In this day and age, along with the advancement of transportation, it is observed that there is an increasing rate of immigration, causing vital changes in society. This tendency could be attributed to several factors, and it could gravely affect the nation in different ways. On one hand, there are two main contributors to the decision to move to a new environment of immigrants. First of all, the image of cities and metropolises is likely to be sugar-coated in the eyes of people from rural or under-improved areas, promising to provide a wide range of well-paid jobs as well as a modern, convenient life full of entertainment and self-pleasure. Unable to resist the temptation, many chose to leave their hometown to seek a life-changing opportunity in those promised lands. Another noticeable motive behind this trend is wars and conflicts, which have plagued the lives of people in their motherland, threatening their lives and forcing them to search for help in foreign countries. Being placed in such a life-endangering situation, those people have no choice but to immigrate to other nations. On the other hand, the sudden flow of immigrants could pose some great threats to society. The first noticeable severe impact is the lack of a labor force in the countryside, which is the result of young and middle-aged people, the main group of available workers, shifting to urban areas in search of job opportunities. This leads to the circumstance in which it's extremely difficult for the rural areas to improve and evolve to the same extent as cities. Furthermore, a large number of immigrants could cause overpopulation in some areas, nay, leading to a ripple effect and harming society with a slew of negative consequences related to this issue, such as the housing crisis, increasing competition in the job market, and an increase in crime rates. In conclusion, governments should focus on the causes of immigration, which include the desire for better work prospects, wars, and conflicts, to deal with the harmful outcomes of it, consisting of the underdevelopment of rural areas and concerns related to overpopulation.

The prompt restatement is ill effective for a number of reasons. The first, is that is deviates to a totally unrelated topic prior to the actual restatement. The restatement should only be one to two sentences long and should not include information about unrelated discussions (not included in the original discussion). The second, is that the writer's opinion is not clearly stated in the presentation. Rather than stating the reasons for migration, he just repeated what the discussion will be about. This does not establish a discussion platform for the succeeding paragraphs and does not meet the task accuracy requirement regarding opinion clarity within the introduction paragraph. In other words, the first paragraph is an epic fail and will cost the essay precious score deductions that could have been used to pass the test instead. One cannot compare the reasons for migration with its results. Those are different topics that emanate from different discussion points. The writer has incorrectly used the transition phrases "On the one/other hand" in this case, which will result in GRA deductions as he shows a lack of proper sentence formation using the correct transition phrases. These reasons alone are enough for me to safely say that the writer will not pass the test. He cannot pass when he does not know how to properly format his responses in a manner suitable to the prompt.

## co2 emissions 1967-2007 The line graph illustrates the amount of average carbon dioxide emitted by each person in four European countries from 1967 to 2007. Overall , there was an increase in the amount of carbon dioxide released on average in Italy and Portugal , while the figure for the UK and Sweden decreased . In addition , the UK had the highest average carbon dioxide emission during the period . Between 1967 and 2007 , The UK saw a gradual decline from 10,7 tonnes to exactly 9 tonnes. Similarly , there was a growth in the amount of CO2 , from 9 tonnes in 1967 to 10 tonnes in 1977 . Over the following 30 years, the amount of CO2 in Sweden dropped dramatically from 10 tonnes to only 5,7 tonnes. However, the amount of CO2 released in Italy and Portugal increased significantly . The figures for Italy and Sweden were on average around 4 tonnes over the period shown.

The summary and succeeding paragraphs could use more detail and less cluttered presentation. A sentence requires that a single idea be presented in one line, rather than several in a single line. Every line should connect one sentence to the next. There is no sentence in existence that contains several ideas in one presentation. That is unacceptable and is scored down as a run-on sentence. A GRA writing violation. There is a reason each paragraph is allowed up to 5 sentences. That is the exact number of lines per paragraph that will allow for clear and understandable thought presentations. Utilize that number for proper scoring considerations. Also, do not forget to indicate the measurement type as a part of the summary as that is an integral part of the discussion highlight / basis.

## salary in professional sport Write about: 1.The entertainement they provide 2.How hard they work 3.(your own idea) As someone that have never worked, i can still give you my own idea on this theme. Sports are one of the things that almost everyone have seen even once in their lifes. Therefore people from all over the world become interested in sports stars's life. However many people says that athlets are payed too much. On one hand, they train all their lifes to compete in sports and earn money with it. If they have come to be known as 'the' footballer or 'the' basketball player, and not 'a', it is certainly becouse of their talent, for the passion for that sport and for all the training that they constantly do. On the other hand, they don't do that much more than teachers or doctors that have more important responsibilities but, still, payed less. Those ones have studied surely more than a footballer that have trained all his life to achieve something more for his own passion. In my opinion sport stars are payed too much, it's okay to be payed for all the work that they do, but sometimes they really earn too much money.

The first thing I have to do is call the attention of the writer to the almost unlimited spelling errors in this essay. Had the author bothered to use spellcheck or the autocorrect feature of the keyboard, he would have seen the incorrect spelling within the essay. Evidence of a lack of content review prior to submission. These errors would be more than enough to fail half the test. some incorrect spelling include: Payed= Paid Becouse= Because Not all English words are spelled as heard. That is how unlearned English writers are caught. Only kindergarten English native speaking students who are learning how to read and write get a pass for such mistakes. Time referencing in relation to tense usage is also a problem here. There is a consistent mismatching of situational references. Is it past or present? Same for singular V. plural rules. One cannot use a plural form then switch to singular mid-sentence. Numerical references must be uniform throughout. There are actually more problems to deal with but it won't be possible to do so in a single thread. I am focusing on the sentence structure rather than the content at this time because the accuracy of the response is not as big a problem as the lack of proper grammar and sentence presentation. These are the immediate score reducing problems that need to be improved upon as an ESL student

## spreads consumed in an European country The given line graph depicts the consumption of spreads, in grams, over the course of 26 years, starting from 1981. Overall, the quantity of butter and margarine suffered significant decreases throughout the period while the amount of low fat and reduced spreads consumed experienced an upward trend. Another interesting point here is that before 1996, people just put margarine or butter in their bread. Looking at the graph in more detail, it can be seen that in 1981, the amount of margarine and butter consumed were around 90 grams and up to 140 grams, respectively. There was a growth in butter consumption. It rose to approximately 160 grams in 1986 before plugging to about 70 grams a decade later. The quantity then continued to decline and reached the low-point at around 50 grams at the end of the period. In the meantime, the 1981-1991 period witnessed a fluctuation in the amount of margarine consumed. The consumption remained stable at 100 grams until 1996 before falling drastically to 40 grams in 2007, becoming the least popular type of spreads in this year. People started using low fat and reduced spreads in 1996, at around 10 grams. The consumption of this kind of spreads underwent a rapid surge to more than 80 grams in 2001 (as popular as margarine in this year). Then it declined to around 70 grams in 2007, taking the first place in consumption compared to the two other kinds of spreads.

The presentation is overwritten. Timed writing will show that 243 words cannot be completed within 20 minutes The writer turned the writing into a vocabulary exercise. Most of the writing lost objectivity because the writer included personal opinions and assumptions. These are 2 reflections that should never be found in a task 1 essay since it is an analytical report based on pre-supplied data. A task 1 essay has a different set of writing requirements from a task 2 essay. The biggest difference? A task 1 essay should only be between 150-200 words. That is the achievable number for the 20 minute time allowance. The essay should be less wordy next time. Keep it short and factual.

***The spread of multinational companies and the increase of globalization produces positive effects for everyone.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree ? For the time being, the widespread of multinational organizations along with the expansion in term of globalisation seems to bring about positive impact for every citizens. In my own perspective , I partly agree with this idea for these following reasons. To begin with, it is believed that the development of multinational firms provides valuable employment prospects for individuals, especially for people who are in underprivileged countries. Big companies tend to employ the local labour to work in their entreprises as they just need to pay local worker a small amount of money compared to a huge profit they earn. Another reason is that, thanks to the extensiveness of multinational foundation as well as globalisation, there is an advantageous impact impact on investment and also commerce sector that relates to the economy of one nation. It is obviously seen that if investment increases with a rapid speed, it will profit many other aspects of economy like tourism, for instance. Last but not least, it is now more feasible to gain new knowledge about cultures from other countries due to the consequence of globalisation. As globalisation is now a debated situation, there is also a mixed culture that exists in one country, for example Singapore. On the other hand, there are also some demerits about globalisation and prevalence of international firms. First of all, there could be some disapperance of micro-entreprises in some nations due to the stiff competition of multinational entreprises. Many small companies are forced to close down as they can not compete with their huge competitors in their own domestic market. Moreover, based on the financial investment in one particular country, international firms now aim to monopolize the market place not only in the global scale but also the domestic one , which belongs to the nation they invest money on. In conclusion, many benefits could be brought due to the rapid expansion of globalized world and increasing development of multinational firms. However, there are still some drawbacks besides the benefits they bring.

The restatement is not as effective as it could have been. The writer basically altered the presentation word for word, or sometimes, without changing a word, leading to a problematic presentation. It is more of a transliteration rather than an appropriate restating of the topic based upon the author's understanding of it. The extent response is incomplete as the extent topics coverage is not present as establishing factors. The writer takes great pride in presenting his knowledge regarding the topic and its background. Sadly, the conversation did not go beyond that. A failure to cohesively discuss, via connected subjects, the reasons provided prevented this from happening. Next time, focus less on the number of reasons and more on how the topics inter-relate in the paragraph. The concluding summary will guarantee a failing score as the topic suddenly became altered. It went from an extent consideration to an advantage /disadvantage discussion. That unexpected change will result in an irrelevant summary conclusion and failing score.

## People recognize a difference between children and adults Generally, based on the qualification of healthy issue we can classify people on the adults or children period due to their age. For 18+ years old, in my country Indonesia, they can be called as an early of adult because they enter a college life and live separately from their parents. For less than 18 years old, people still call them children because they are still on the senior high school. In my opinion, there are two phases where the person could be called as adult one than the child one. The reasons I will explain below. First of all, adult man is a person who can survive and live on their way of life. They solve the problem and give themselve to be free from the parent's regulation much. One phase can adult man begin is when moving to another city to begin new life such a new phase for education process outside of their hometown. For example, I moved to Yogyakarta to have my bachelor degree when I was 19 years old. I like to become independent because I need to cook, wash my clothes, and study with the teacher was also myself. I can conquer to the probelm in this era with the revolution of mind thinking because I have never been before and I need to survive to reach my dreams. This phase created me to become wise and generous person. Second of all, marriage is the higher level of adults decision in their life. They will strive to commit in one's life. If he is a man, he need to tackle responsibilities of his wife and children, meanwhile he also has to work to fund his family. Meanwhile, if she is a woman, she wil become a mother who nurtures her childrens from early at dawn to the late of night, from school to home. She also will cook and serve the better place at home everyday for her family. They must work together between outside job and inner world of their basic life such as entertainment, hobby, education, and etc. To sum up, there are two phases that man could have in conducting adults period, the first education and the second is in the marriage life. They will strive to commit and solve any problems to survive in their life as responsibilities in having a meaning of life.

The essay has been a mostly confusing read for the most part. The English sentences qualify as incoherent for more than half the essay due to problematic thought presentations. It appears that the writer cannot develop and present a sound English sentence or paragraph due to a lack of vocabulary knowledge and writing control. Perhaps this was caused by the writer mistakenly translating ad verbatim from his vernacular language. There is a high likelihood that is what happened based on the current sentence structures within the presentation. Before the writer can be expected to properly respond to the prompta, he must first make sure his English writing will be understood. Otherwise, the result is this failing essay.

## The graph shows the income of four cafes in New York in 12 months over the last year. [body 1]: Regarding the quantity of Internet Express fluctuated over the period given. This figure started at under $100,000 and went down slightly to $80,000 in April then levelled off there until June. The period from November to December witnessed an impressive increase to under $140,000 in the figure for Internet Express after growing gradually to around $120,000 between July and November. The number of Wi-fi Café rose inconsiderately to over $60,000 in March. This figure grew sharply to nearly $100,000 in July before declining steeply to about $60,000 in September. Wi-fi Café' number of incomes went up rapidly to approximately $19,000 over the next four months. The figure for Café Cool income went up and down between over $30,000 and nearly $60,000 during the first nine months. The was a marginal growth of $60,000 in that of Café Cool and reach the highest point of $120,000 in December. *

The paragraph became too long because there was no discussion outline created prior to the writing of information. Learning to group the presentation ideas over at least 2 presentation paragraphs would provide that needed guidance. Before drafting anything, always figure out what needs to be said, what grouped data is involved, and how to say it. By figuring those out early on, one will be able to create drafts of a proper length. Focus on quick data sharing and short analysis ina task 1 essay. Those will help the writer produce 3-5 sentences in the paragraph. Remember that it is not a vocabulary exercise so data presentation in the priority. The data for Wifi Express should have been ina new paragraph since it is a different company.

## the only global language - English? It has been suggested that English should be used as the only spoken language in the world. Many non-native speaking English countries have English as their second language and lessons are not taught in their mother tongue. From my perspective, I am completely opposed to this change. Admittedly, it is true that using English as the only global language can eradicate tremendous problems that we are facing with, including miscommunication. When it comes to communication, business transaction, travel, people speaking different languages may have struggle understanding others. However, speaking the same language can solve all aforementioned difficulties and brings more chances to people from countries do not speak English. For example, Malaysia, the Philippines, witnessed significant economic development partly due to the ability to speak English fluently of their citizens. However, I believe that neither English nor any other languages should be the only global language as it could end the linguistic diversity, lead to language death on large scale. This could make many cultures ceasing to exist as their is a strong link between language and culture. Culture is identity, history, what set us apart from others, liberate people from slavery. For instance, despite over of years being colonized by Chinese, brutal wars, etc, Vietnam is independent and it comes as a result of preserving rich culture and patriotism being built through traditional values. In conclusion, it is my strong belief that none should be used as the only global language as this change might lead to massive amount of language death and the lost of culture and identity

There is a slight problem in the first paragraph. The writer's opinion should always come before the reasoning statement. It was presented in reverse for this section. The second sentence should be in the last part of the paragraph since that idea represents the opinion basis. The response is also using an incorrect extent format when the question did not require a strongly worded response. It cannot be given full scoring merit interes of task accuracy for the paragraph. The first reasoning paragraph is disqualified from any score as it is not related to the given opinion statement. The writer is contradicting himself. That is unacceptable in a non-comparison discussion presentation. He must justify his opinion convincingly over 2 paragraphs. Something he could have easily done to get a passing score since he indicated 2 good reasons in the relevant paragraph. Instead, the confusing opinions will lead to a failing final score due to lack of proper reasoning development.

## animal-based products on the market In contemporary society, using animal-based products is unnecessary for people choosing. I entirely agree with this statement by the following explanation. The first reason in favor of my argument is that slaughtering animals for clothing and medicines is inhumane. The first is people kill the animals just because their skins can make exorbitant carpetbaggers and bring great profit to their company. Furthermore, testing animals in particular medical and beauty fields receives conflicting opinions on whether it is compulsory since cosmetics tested on animals and animal-derived medicines partially guarantee whether you will be allergic to them. In the market, many beauty brands commit that they do not use animals for testing their products called cruelty-free brands. Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, two other reasons should be discussed. Another reason supporting my view is that thanks to the advent of technology, people do not need much meat in their life. Some meat-eaters think that eating vegetables is not enough nutrition and experience vitamin deficiencies which are the opposite view. Cutting-edge technologies help plant-based foods get full of essential nutrients that humans need in daily diets, limiting the intake of meat in residents. In addition, herbal remedies can completely replace animal-derived medicines because of being used for a period in which we do not suffer decreased brain volume or fatigue. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I firmly hold the view that we can change the majority of a meat diet to vegetables, and that does not do us any harm to health later. I would be grateful to receive your responses.

I do not know where to begin with the review of this essay. The writing is just so bad that it simply will not pass had this exercise been done as an actual test. It is important that the test taker understand that I am acknowledging the effort placed in the writing of the essay but the effort was not enough to meet passing standards. The main problem that I can see is related to the coherence of the presentation. A lack of clear thought presentation prevented a proper understanding of the paragraphs. Cohesive devices were not properly utilized either. I suspect these problems are related to the lack of proper vocabulary usage and little control over sentence presentations. The overall presentation is choppy, confusing, and connected topics require better in- paragraph development. Redundancies and a lack of proper restatement and opinion presentation are actually the least of the problems the essay has. Although these are still immediate presentation problems.

## advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year **In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.** It is widely believed that it is necessary for high school seniors to have a year-long break to travel or work. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages of taking a gap-year and some of the challenges to overcome. Let's begin by looking at the advantages. There is no doubt that delaying tertiary education for one year enables students to hone practical skills. This is due to the fact that students will have the chance to expose to the alien environment to gain new experiences such as socializing with various people or finding their place in the community. Besides, given that most high schools provide inadequate career guidance, sparing several months looking for job opportunities or attending vocational training courses will empower students to identify a suitable career path. Such experiences would be hardly attainable if high school graduates immediately enroll in university, and become occupied with their intense study schedules. Turning to the other side of the argument, deferring university enrollment is not without difficulties. A major downside is that gap-year takers may fall behind in their study, which is attributed to long distraction from formal schooling. As a result, this can subject them to peer pressure, as well as gradually drain their self-confidence. Another drawback is that those young people are unlikely to save up much money or cultivate relevant job skills as jobs available to high school leavers are mainly entry-level ones that are neither well-paid nor effective to teach them anything substantive. All things considered, a gap year can have both advantages and disadvantages. It is my view that individuals know what is best for them to choose the most proper and worthwhile path. I would be grateful to receive your responses.

There is a difference between discussing advantages V. disadvantages and some of the challenges to overcome . The latter is a totally misleading statement that is not connected to the orginal presentation in any way. It is an improper prompt interpretation and will cause a task scoredown. While the correct pronoun was used, it did not lead to the establishment of A V. D discussion topics thees, leaving the writer's opinion unclear in relation to the topic. Another scoredown. Let's No. Always be clear that the writer is the one speaking. Refer to the first person at all times. Throw in the 3nd person reference when needed. The essay is all about the writer's perception after all. Doing so will also increase the C + C score.

## high school graduation in 3 countries The given bar chart depicts the percentages of high school graduation in three different countries, namely Mexico, Portugal, Luxembourg, between 2005 and 2011. Overall, the rate of Mexico and Portugal underwent an upward trend, while Luxembourg's percentage experienced a downward trend. Another interesting point here is that only Portugal's rate had some fluctuations. Looking at the graph in more detail, it can be seen that the graduated high school students rate in Mexico increases steadily by around 10 percent every two years. The figure was 20% in 2005, then it increased to 30% and 40% in 2007 and 2009, respectively, before reaching its highest rate at about 52% in 2011. Throughout the period, it was the lowest rate among the three aforementioned nations. Unlike Mexico, the ratio of graduated high school students in Luxembourg stood at 80% in 2005, which was its highest level and it was also the highest rate among the three countries in this year. The 7-year period witnessed a gradual decline of Luxembourg's rate, from 80% at the beginning to 60% in 2011. Portugal had more than a half of high school students graduated in 2005. This figure then seared to approximately 95% in 2009, becoming the highest rate compared to the two other nations. At the end of the period, this ratio dropped by around 10%, outraced the rate of Luxembourg.

The summary overview must always be presented within 3-5 sentences. The information must be individualized into separate sentences due to statement clarity considerations. When a run-on sentence is presented, coherence and cohesiveness in the paragraph is sacrificed. The result is a reduced overall score as points are sacrificed in 3 sections. The affected sections are : TA, C + C, and GRA. A 230 word essay is not possible during a 20 minute writing task. The task 1 essay should number only between 175 to 200 words. These numbers are the ideal target range that will allow for the least escort overall, while presenting the maximum scoring allowance for the writer. Do not over discuss the presentation. This report analipis must remain short since it has to be completed in a reporting style.

## Geothermal power plant The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant. "The picture demonstrates the process of making electricity from a geothermal power plant. In general, there are 3 significant steps to transform heat from the geothermal zone into electricity. First, in the injection well, cold water from a small tank is pumped through a 4.5-kilometer pipe down to the geothermal zone. Underground hot rocks in this area warm up the water. Next, In the production well, hot water is pushed into the condenser by using a hole, which has the same length as the pipe. As pumped up, the warmed water will produce steam that fills the consender and runs into the turbine over a small hole. In a specific room, there is a turbine and a generator. The turbine after being powered by steam will rotate and create centrifugal force. From there, the generator which links with the turbine derives its spin energy into electricity and transfers it to the high voltage power pole by transmission lines. *

A clear lack of task 1 writing knowledge is evident in this writing. It is non- passing for several reasons ranging from incorrect image identification to formatting problems. The writer should not with another task 1 essay until he knows what the presentation requirements are. For starters, the image description does not suit the presentation. It is an illustrative diagram or procedural picture. It is not a plain picture. The image should identify its function in the report. That is because the image is the total basis of the information presentation. The essay does not have the 3 paragraph presentation for a single image task. It should contain : Paragraph 1: Summary + Trending Statement - Highlights of the information Paragraph 2: First half of the instructional content Paragraph 3: Second half of the procedure Care must also be taken in forming the sentences. No irrelevant punctuation marks should be found. Proper sentence type mixes should be present. Take time to edit and proofread. The current level of writing is unacceptable.

***In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet.*** ## Are there more advantages or disadvantages of this trend. *write at least 250 words* People have a tendency to store knowledge on the internet at the present while they used books to store knowledge in the past. Personally, I believe that the benefits of this trend outweigh its drawbacks. In my opinion, the only disadvantage of storing information on the internet is that it increases the screen time, resulting in impact badly on our eye health. However, this problem can be solved by using the anti-bluelight glasses or we can use the anti-bluelight screen protector for our devices when we use the advanced technology such as smartphones, tablets, computers and so on to get the knowledge online and those things can be easily bought in every regions. By contrast, using the internet to store knowledge has many advantages. Firstly, qualified information on the internet is convenient to access as we can just stay at home to reach the knowledge online by some clicks or taps on our fingers; meanwhile, we have to buy books when the knowledge is stored in them that we may go to bookstores to buy them or shop them online, but the books may be damaged in the delivery journey. For instance, I bought a photobook on the Amazon website delivered from the United States. When I received it, the border and corners of the photobook were completely spoiled by external causes when it was being delivered. In addition, the quality of knowledge can be maintained all the time while the word in books can be faded in the long run. In conclusion, I think storing knowledge on the internet has more advantages than the disadvantages that it brings.

Excellent work in making it very clear to the examiner that you are stating your personal opinion throughout the essay. By using the correct pronouns, you will certainly increase your scores across all considerations, specially in the C+C and GRA sections. However, you should not have discussed the disadvantage in the essay. The idea is to prove that your opinion (advantage) is the correct one. So the discussion format should have been: Sentence 1: Perceived disadvantage Sentence 2: Reason it is seen as a disadvantage Sentence 3: Why it is an advantage Sentence 4: Give a supporting example Sentence 5: (optional) Additional connected supporting explanation You cannot prove that your idea should be listened to and believed by the examiner when you are trying to prove and disprove both sides. The job of the writer is to ensure that he always disproves the side opposing his own opinion. High scores are sure to follow if the writer can accomplish that.

## youngsters break the law In this day and age, it is true that more and more juveniles commit an offense worldwide. As far as I am concerned, the reasons related to this phenomenon vary and several measures can be implemented to persuade others to reduce this trend. The reasons why many youngsters break the law are twofold. One of the prominent causes is the omnipresence of violent films or games. Young people, unlike adults, do not have the strong ability to distinguish right from wrong. Besides, excessive violence in the virtual world renders them aggressive and navigates them to consider violence as the optimal solution to tackle obstacles and show their personality as heroes who punish evil they enjoy on television. In some situations, patients who are over obsessed with the scene of fights on games online can commit serious offenses such as murder or robbery. Secondly, due to the high poverty rate in several countries, having supported their family's finance, many children take part in unlawful activities like pickpocketing or tricking visitors as a way of making a living. It is parents and the government that have to take responsibility for solving this issue. Firstly, the family should put together with the school to manage and adjust the sources of entertainment their children enjoy and educate them on how to make healthy use of films and games. Moreover, providing financial support for the poor area and creating more employment opportunities for youth is highly recommended to rise their income and raise awareness of what punishment they will face if offending. In conclusion, both the prevalence of entertainment which consists of violent factors, and the demand to earn money for a living are considered as the chief culprit behind the increasing number of young criminals. Join efforts of the goverment and parents will help reduce the levels of youth crimes.

The thesis statement is useless. It does not accurately restate the prompt nor establish the discussion platform for the topic. The examiner will read the presentation and realize that the student is not familiar with the topic or, he did not want to create a score increasing reasoning summary for some reason. By not indicating that he has good English comprehension skills and, that he is capable of summarizing his discussion thoughts as he would be required to do in a formal class, he has proven an inability to use the English language in a manner that would help him communicate with others. The one thing examiners hate reading are empty prompt restatements that never include a writer's opinion. It usually results in a failing preliminary score. There is however something the writer did right, he used a first person pronoun to indicate his empty opinion. Where no reasons are provided, the writer's opinion becomes invalid. Based on the given discussion, the writer appears to have sound knowledge of the topic. However, by using two reasons per paragraph where one was sufficient, he created an under developed reasoning paragraph for each presentation. It is best to use only one reason (when indicated) and develop that reason fully or, use 2 connected reasons that can be seen as coherent through the use of transition sentences and phrases.

***NOWADAYS, MORE AND MORE PEOPLE DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN LATER IN THEIR LIFE.*** ## DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES? With cutting- edge technology, living standards have become higher than ever. That is the reason why a large number of people want their infants to be born later, so that they can focus on their careers to ensure their children a comfortable life. From my view, its benefits prevail over the drawbacks. Having pregnancy at old age has prominent benefits for pregnant women's children. One of the most advantages is that they can focus on their career and enjoy their life. Not having a baby early, spouses can enjoy cohabiting with each other, which could make their relationship more close-knit such as: they could understand each other well and then have less conflict between wife and husband. A spouse with steady jobs could accumulate satisfactory income, which can ensure their children's life. Moreover, they can easily accommodate their children's needs. Children can enjoy their happy and joyful life without worrying about hunger or illness. Finally, rich experienced parents in life could provide their children with proper advice for many things such as how to distinguish fresh or unfresh vegetables, and learn the differences between healthy and sick cattle, which is just a small amount of youth knew about this nowadays. Despite some worries about the health of late-born babies and elderly mothers, advanced medical technology can lessen the rate of these cases significantly. That's why they are no longer a concern. However, this can bring some negative drawbacks. Because of living in different generations, parents can not keep up with recent trends like teenagers such as fashion style, popular dance, which can be hard for the parents to understand. Apart from that, parents and adolescent's thoughts can somehow contrast. Take the preferences in music for instance. While middle aged people like enjoying traditional and folk music, the youth will have more interest in pop music. To conclude, I believe that despite being in a distant generation gap, the benefits of having pregnancy at old age can outweigh the drawbacks.

Do not place the basis of the writer's opinion / thesis statement in the first sentence. Always follow the uniform presentation format of: Sentence 1: Restate the topic Sentence 2: Writer's opinion Sentence 3: Reason for the opinion By following the standard presentation and placing the information in the correct sections of the paragraph, the writer will be able to achieve a higher preliminary score due to the clarity of his idea presentation / thesis statement. Any information that is not contained in the original prompt and presented ahead of the thesis will result in point deductions. That said, the discussion basis would have been highly beneficial to the score had it been placed in the correct section of the presentation. Old age refers to senior citizens or people whose ages no longer allow them to bear children. Advanced age simply means a person who is in the later stages of adulthood, still young enough to have children. The writer clearly shows a lack of proper English word usage in this case. It will be noticed and deducted from the LR score. Word count and point deductions will be applied for the 2nd reasoning paragraph that counters the writer's original statement. Due to the sudden change in opinion, the score will now be based on an unclear opinion and under developed discussion presentation. Always remember that the A/D essay is based on a single opinion defense. It is never comparative. Will the essay fail due to these errors? There is a likelihood that it could happen.

***Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with buildings apartments for commuters, but others disagree.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion. People hold different views about whether authorities should dismantle parks and gardens by apartment buildings. While in some way, it might seem reasonable to maintain those in downtown. I personally believe that those places are essential for inhabitants. There are several reasons why people might argue that governments should construct more apartment buildings. Firstly, parks and gardens occupy a lot of areas which leads to some people living far from the city center will spend more time traveling to work. For example, people living in extramural areas will have a longer distance to go to work than those living in the city center. Secondly, it might be supposed that those places may be useless because of not being association with economic development. However, I would agree with those who believe that the government should not construct apartment buildings instead of parks and gardens. The main benefit of those places is that they increase air quality, which contributes to maintaining good mental health for citizens. This is particularly the case for those who go to parks or gardens on a regular basis, and they will find a sense of relaxation because they can be close to nature and relieve stress. Besides, trees in gardens and parks also facilitate an increase in the fresh air in the atmosphere. In conclusion, while there may be benefits to constructing more apartment buildings for commuters. However, I believe that keeping parks and gardens in the city center will have more advantages to outweigh the disadvantages in the long-term.

The overall discussion is off topic. The result will be a failing score because the writer changed the discussion focus from the original which is targeted on "reducing the time people spend in travelling to work" to "advantages and disadvantages of "replacing city centers with buildings and apartments with parks and gardens". The writer did not fully understand the discussion focus, discussion instructions and prompt requirements for the reasoning presentations. This will result in an overall failing score immediately. A problem with the clarity of thought and idea presentation is also evident in the essay as the thoughts are not easily understandable due to sentence construction and word usage errors. The writer did his best to come across as knowledgeable with everyday English words, but the opposite is what he proved to be true. He has no control over his English language skills.

## When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? *Write at least 250 words* Opinions are divided on whether the amount of money that we earn from our jobs is the most crucial component when deciding on a career. I believe that the salary is the key consideration to survive in the future. However, when choosing a job, it is not because there must be a combination of many factors to decide. Of course, having a stable income plays an important role in daily life. It can be said to be always a big concern of everyone because nowadays after the covid 19 pandemic and war between Russia and Ukraine, the price of many products become higher. For instance, the cost of petrol in our country witnessed a dramatic increase that has never been seen before. These changes require people to have a higher earning money to cover the basic needs and remain reasonable living standards. However, other considerations are also as significant as the revenue. The reason is that because of the advent and development of modern technology, the tendency of jobs in the future may be changed in the future. It was proved through the past that some jobs can help people earned a lot but they provide lower payment these days. Therefore, people have to be a far-sighted person or learn more to predict and analyze the trend to get a good job, not just depend on the salary. To add further credence to my assertion, I note the fact that we always need inspiration to maintain doing something, especially a job. Therefore, people also need to find a suitable job based on their ability that they are good at to improve their position of strength or even your hobby which will help them have motivation to stabilize their job. In conclusion, all the considerations have the same importance, so people should think carefully to have a successful career path.

The writer forgot to reference the correct response format in both the opinion presentation and summarized conclusion. As such the paper will be deemed to be delivering a response in an unexpected form. The extent response prior to the reasoning foundation is not present in the statement. This is more than enough reason for a lower scoring consideration. The discussion format went from a single opinion to a comparison consideration. Being a prompt deviation from the original discussion format, the essay cannot receive scores for the C + C section as the discussion has been made irrelevant to the prompt. This lack of proper discussion presentation shows that the writer did not understand the instructions, even though he understood the topic. The essay will fail.

## **Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.** The bar graph shows the percentage of high school graduates over the period from 2005 to 2011. Overall, it is clear that the Portuguese graduation rate increased the most considerably. Meanwhile, despite consistently having the lowest rate among the three countries, Mexico showed a moderate growth of graduated students every year. In contrast, the percentage of high school graduates in Luxembourg declined moderately over the period reported. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that Portugal's graduation rate had increased significantly from 54% in 2005 to reach its highest point over the period in 2009, which is approximately 95%, before a 10% drop in 2011. As for Mexico, the proportion of high school graduated students grew at a consistent rate (roughly 10%) every year, though it still lagged behind the others and having the lowest rate among three nations. It experienced a slow growth from 20% in 2005 to over 50% in 2011. Luxembourg, on the other hand, demonstrated a downward trend of graduation rate from 80% to 60% over the 7-year period, losing the lead to Portugal from the year 2009 until the end of the period in question. *

This is a 3 paragraph report. It is missing another paragraph to complete the analysis aspect. A problem that arose because of the lack of proper comparison considerations in the report. The writer knew exactly what information should comprise the analysis but did not know how to correctly utilize the data for maximum effect. He kept compressing data into single sentences where multiple sentence usage would have helped create 3 well developed paragraphs. Save for data reporting, no actual analysis is reflected in the presentation. There are also sentences where references are exaggerated, leading to redundant references. The writer must understand that by knowing how to divide the report into relevant sections, he can successfully meet the paragraph, reporting, and analysis requirements.

## International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should therefore be restricted. ***Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.** Write at least 250 words.* Nowadays, in modern life, travel by airplanes or helicoptors become one of the most common transports in the world. Therefore, those transports give alot of negative effects to the environment. I disagree with this view because those problems we can solve it with the development of technology in the future. No one can deny the advantage by using air transports. It has changed the way people' traveling in the world. Firstly, air transports are really fast and the service in those transports is alway good. If people wants to go abroad or travel to a far distance, they can easily choose a comfortable flight instead of choosing public transports which are really slow and the service is not good as in airplanes. Next, not only carried human, air transports are also the fastest way to freight. It also comtribute very much to the develoment of countries. Secondly. air transports are also known by the safety. This transports are always been in rank 1 of the list of the safest transports in the world. That why people chooses airplanes or helicoptors become their transports when they want to travel somewhere. On the other hand, the disadvantage are air transports comsume a large amount of fuel and emit into the environment a big amount cabon emissions. Therefore, our health will be the first thing got effects. Moreover, CO2 when it turns to the atmosphere, it can change the stable of climate and causing the greenhouse effect. Big negative impacts to our earth. In conclusion, air transports are bad to environment is true and i agree with it. But with the fast develoment in technology nowadays, why we have to restricted air tranports when we can update it ? We already had electric car and electric motobike, why don't we can create electric air transports ? Just by changing fuel to electricity, the disavantage of air transports will be solved. For me, i believe to the development of technology so i disagree with this view. Ps: Pls help me check it and how much ielts points this article has ?

While the writer does have a problem with the proper writing of English sentences, these are not enough to confuse the reader. His ideas can still be well understood specially when he represented the original statement and his personal opinion. He remembered to present his opinion basis at the end, which resulted in a positive boost for an otherwise problematic score for that paragraph. This is the problem that the essay has within the overall presentation. He should not be using a proprietarial apostrophe when not indicating ownership. This is another problem that ESL students have when writing English essays. A lack of proper punctuation usage knowledge often lowers their GRA scores to the failing level. The second reasoning paragraph will not be scored because it does not support the writer's opinion. When a score does not support the writer's idea, it is considered a prompt deviation and results in the essay getting an overall score based on an under developed explanation. Both reasoning paragraphs must support the sole opinion presented in the writer's opinion and thesis statement. alot Incorrect word usage. This phrase is composed of 2 words: "a lot". There will be LR reductions included in the deductions. \*Scoring is done privately. Contact me for details.

## ***The line graph illustrates the amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in grams.*** Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. The line graph below compares the quantity of spreads was consumed over a period of 26 years. Overall, the amount of margarine and butter declined , while the consumption of low-fat spreads increased significantly. At first , butter was consumed the most ; however ; at the end of the period , the consumption of low-fat and reduced spreads was the biggest and seemed set to continue. In 1981, butter was consumed the most with the amount around 142 grams and the consumption reached a peak of about 160 grams in 1986. After this , there was a sharp decline .The consumption of margarine has a slightly growth from the beginning and till 1996 , the quantity of margarine decreased markedly. Low-fat spreads were introduced in 1986 and they saw a rapidly rise in their consumption from that time so that they were consumed the most in 2001.After 2001 , there was a steady downward trend. *

While the witter produced text above the word count minimum, he could have scored better if he had written at least 175 words over 3 paragraphs. That is where the scoring problem of this report lies. The summary overview is understandable even as there is a broken English problem with the sentence reference which affected the set- up in terms of GRA. The trending statement was also overdone to the point where report comparisons were being presented instead of trends. The analysis paragraphs are incomplete as the numerical data for each spread type is only partially used. All of the numbers should be part of the comparative report. Ups come with downs. Otherwise the comparison is confusing and of nouse to the reader in terms of information.

***There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. while some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.*** ## Discuss both views. The number of serious crimes commitments has been increasing annual. It is considered by many that different solutions are needed to be taken into consideration. I, however, believe capital punishment is the greatest measure to tackle this problem as the more tolerant government's law is, the more serious criminals the society appear. On the one hand, there are various reasons why some believe that different solutions still work efficiently instead of carrying death penalty. Firstly, offenders will gain opportunities to become useful citizens if they are well-informed with moral knowledge through education in prisons. Giving wrongdoers a chance of rehabilitation is a special present for them to make a fresh start. Secondly, instead of introducing death penalty, psychological therapy is another effective solution because almost serious criminals do endure at least a psychological problem, which control their guilty behaviors. Once can be solved if the psychological barriers are overcome and thus, they gradually exhibit their humane behaviors. On the other hand, I would argue that capital punishment has a crucial role to play. If a killer is reintegrated into society, there will be a high possibility that they will commit crimes again. This is mainly because they will have more chances to meet their crews and plan for their next flawless crime commitments. As a result, the society's security is profoundly affected and considerably threatened. Moreover, people have a tendency to be afraid of being died and hence, they endeavor not to commit serious crimes. Therefore, the crime rate will be able to drop in the following years. As a consequence, implementing a policy of zero tolerance like capital punishment is the most powerful measure to punish serious criminals. To conclude, although people think that there are other solutions to solve serious crimes, I personally believe that death penalty can act as a deterrent because of its impacts, which are not only on criminals but also on law-abiding citizens.

The discussion does not represent the correct for this discussion. It only portrays the personal opinion of the writer, rather than the necessary public opinion explanation + personal opinion insight. The essay lacks balance, proper substance in relation to the public opinions, and, like I previously indicated, a proper pronoun based comparative discussion. The writer cannot decide to discuss the topic willy nilly. The writer must always provide an insight into the 2 public opinions through a correct and balanced public v. personal opinion consideration. Without it, the essay does not carry the correct balance of reasoning and analaysis. The writer cannot receive a passing score with this writing. Not when the essay does not use the correct comparative format.

**Topic:** ***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.*** ## Discuss both views and state your opinion In this day and age, there are conflicting views about the impacts of organizing global sporting competitions on a country. While some people believe that such events are detrimental to the host nation, I would argue that there are a number of merits that can be gained from those events. On the one hand, major international sports events present challenges that the host country has to counter. Specifically, if the government of the host nation tends to embark on an infrastructure splurge, then it must curb public spending on hospitals, schools, and a welfare state to help the poor. To exemplify, spending a huge sum of money on constructing stadiums for the 2014 World Cup, Brazil now suffers from a deficiency of money to deal with the coronavirus pandemic. In terms of the environment, there will be a huge amount of waste discarded from stadiums and arenas built, which has adverse influences on the surroundings and the residents. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that international sporting games are advantageous for the country. Particularly, such events might promote the economic prosperity of the country as the tourism sector can be potentially stimulated by attracting the influx of sports fans from all over the world. In other words, this is an opportunity to derive profit for hotels, restaurants, and businesses involved in sports merchandising. Moreover, it is a great chance for the host nation to gain global exposure and broadcast the culture of the country. For instance, since Sea Games 2003, Vietnam has been branded as a historic country with a diverse culture that broadens the impact of the nation on the global stage. In conclusion, although sports events come at the expense of a few immediate problems, the benefits of economic and cultural promotion are of utmost significance.

When creating the prompt restatement, the writer must always review the prompt requirement. There are 3 statement that need to be represented. The 2 public opinions + the personal opinion. He cannot state one public + personal opinion alone. He must represent both public opinions in the restatement as it was mentioned separately in the original prompt prior to indicating his own opinion. The prompt restatement is going to be scored as inaccurate in reference to the original presentation. The essay cannot be given a passing score since not all of the public views were discussed. The writer cannot be selective in discussion. His prompt deviation will result in the failure of the essay. His personal opinion may be merged with the public opinion he supports but he cannot skip a discussion of that public opinion in the correct manner in favor of just his personal opinion. That is not the correct nor expected response format.

## fruit production comparison The line graph illustrates the production of fruit in four nations: France, Spain, Germany, and Turkey between 1970 and 2010. It could be seen that the amount of fruit produced in Spain and Germany observed a down string trend while the reverse could be seen in that of others countries. Additionally, Turkey took the initiative in producing fruit throughout the period. In particular, starting at approximately 5.5 million tonnes in 1970, fruit production in Spain rose marginally to a staggering 6 million tonnes in the next ten years before dropping gradually and hit the bottom at 5 million tonnes in 2010. Besides, Germany produced merely 2.5 million tonnes of fruit in the first year of the period; thereafter this figure decreased moderately by 1 million tonnes in 1990 and then stayed static until the end of the course, marking the lowest rate of the chart. At the beginning of the course given, the corresponding figure in Turkey and France were in the vicinity of 2 and 1 million tonnes, respectively. Subsequently, the former registered a relative constant rise to 3.5 million tonnes over a 40-year period, surpassing the fruit manufactors of Germany. Meanwhile, the latter increased slightly by 1 million tonnes in 1990, after which it continued rising to hit the top at nearly 3 million tonnes at the course end despite an insignificant rise between 1990 and 2000. *

The writer has included fake information in his report by indicating that Turkey took the initiative in producing fruit throughout the period. A thorough review of the image does not support such a worded claim as only numerical data is provided without any text based references. This makes the TA score inaccurate as a personal opinion does not factor into the report presentation. The writer has misled the reader in terms of data accuracy with this statement. Deductions will apply. Exaggerated claims are unacceptable in all the task essays. While the analysis is well presented, it is also filled with too much filler words that it is obvious the writer has focused the work only on achieving a good LR score rather than a balanced overall sectional score. Even then some word references are incorrect or do not exist in the English dictionary. The constant over-stretching of sentence information creates confusion due to difficulties in following / tracking the data report.

Hello guys, this is an essay I've written recently. I hope you guys can give me a remark on my writing. Thanks a lot! ## IELTS Task 2 - Young people commiting crime ***Crimes committed by young people are increasing in major cities throughout the world. Discuss the causes and how to solve this problem.*** In this day and age, the increasing rate of young people embarking on crimes is becoming a pressing concern. In this essay, I will enlist possible factors triggering this problem and recommend some measures to alleviate it. There are many causes contributing to the alarming percentage of young criminals. First of all, it can be attributed to the lack of attention and appropriate education from parents. Some of them are in the habit of overindulging their children or giving little care to their social awareness, creating an opportunity for bad behaviours to form. Moreover, the boom of Internet and social networking sites can be seen as a culprit. This leads to the unbridled spread of deleterious thoughts and beliefs implanted in young people and incite them to committing crime. Effective solutions should be taken to mitigate this issue. First, a joint effort from parents and schools should be made to keep detrimental behaviours away from children. Enlightening campaigns to raise their awareness of crimes should be conducted at school while parents can keep a stricter way of education and make immediate interventions when potential signs of crimes are detected. Furthermore, it is crucial that authorities should control the flow of information on the Internet. For example, they can hire Internet experts to keep track of posts, videos and pages spreading moral deterioration and delete them as soon as possible. In conclusion, there are a variety of factors resulting in a climb in the number of young criminals. It is of paramount importance that steps should be taken from many sides to prevent the situation from spiralling out of control.

The restatement is not related to the original presentation. The real topic makes a statement about worldwide crime rates. It never infers that the subject is a pressing concern. The prompt restatement is a failure. As far as the whileis s is concerned, the required discussion topic outline that establishes the writer's opinion is also not represented. The restatement + personal opinion paragraph does not deliver the correct response format. The topic is incorrect as well. This paragraph is non-passing which means, the essay will start from a failing base score. This essay is not going to recieve a passing end score. The paragraphs lose cohesiveness and coherence due to the improper discussion development. To create the best presentation use the following format: Sentence 1: Cause Sentence 2: Reason Sentence 3: Related solution Sentence 4: Implementing explanation Sentence 5: Supporting explanation / Example Use the format twice using different representing topics. 1 topic covering cause and solution per paragraph will meet the C + C requirements.

## Advantages and disadvantages of changing jobs with the progression in all aspects. A host of humans, in order to get rich, desire to change their jobs to earn as much as possible. However, it's not facile to conduct this. Because of this arduous problem, you must attempt to overcome it. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of changing jobs. Let's begin by looking at the positive aspects of changing jobs. One of the major advantages is definitely increased pay and promotion opportunities. For instance, if you feel undervalued at your current job, it can affect your morale and your ability to perform at your highest level. Moving to a new job might be the best way to transfer to the next stage in your career. Secondly, changing your job can allow you to broaden your horizons. What I mean by this is that you can make new friends and obtain new experiences. From that, you can become more rounded as a person. Turning to another side of the argument, the disadvantage that you might be faced with is starting a new life from scratch. You might embark with no experience. Furthermore, to be uncomplicated, you must adapt to conditions, people, and so on. In conclusion, there are clearly both ups and downs to changing jobs. While doing this can be a chance to improve your life, for many people there would be a challenge to cope with. If you got the right attitude, changing careers would be a huge success in your life.

The first paragraph starts off as highly confusing since the opening sentence is hanging, with a verb but without a subject. It also goes against general English writing rules since the first word was not capitalized. There is also an over usage of inappropriate advanced vocabulary. The chosen words are not part of everyday English use. It also uses the pronoun "you" which is not really acceptable since the reference pronoun suggested is first rather than second person. There is no clear opinion provided via a 2 topic reasoning summary either. The prompt restatement and personal opinion paragraph are not correctly presented to the examiner. The writer has a consistent GRA error where he keeps referring to a second person (you) when the pronoun usage requirement is "I" and its variations since the instruction is to *"Give reasons for **your** answer and include any relevant examples from **your** own knowledge or experience."* The keyword of the instruction being " **your**", indicating a first pronoun use throughout the essay. There will be score reductions as the writer does not reflect an understanding of pronoun applications in essay writing.

***Nowadays, live performances such as concerts and recitals are no longer necessary since these can be viewed online.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? The lockdowns brought about by the global pandemic have greatly impacted the music industry forcing them to explore and expand online platforms to share their artistry which was well-received by the public. To begin, unlike in a live performance, the sound that will be heard and the images that will be seen would greatly be different, depending on the quality of equipment used by both the production and the user, as well as the processing capacity of the streaming sites. With the numerous processes undergone by the sound and images before it reaches the eyes and ears of the audience, the resulting experience will vary for each viewer. For instance, a person with a high-end speaker and strong internet connection will be able to listen with better sound clarity and watch on a higher resolution than someone with budget earphones and a lagging internet. This will result in an inconsistent individual experience. What makes it less ideal is the lack of actual interaction not only for the fans but also for the performers. The authenticity of attending shows for most concert-goers, on one hand, is to be able to see artists up close and if fortunate enough, be able to converse with them through words or actions which is not possible in an online stream, although there could be opportunities to virtually interact like live chat rooms and shoutouts. On the other hand, for entertainers, it is the validation that they can receive through claps, for example, and other means that can only be possible in a live setting. Consequently, both sides would not be able to fully enjoy the experience. In conclusion, since the accuracy and genuineness of artistic concerts are greatly impacted and vary, it is clear that live performances are still essential and relevant despite the availability of virtual platforms.

The opening paragraph fails to represent the interpretation of the original prompt as required by the task. The writer does not respond to the discussion question either. The introduction via restatement and opinion sharing has failed to accomplish the expected format considerations and response structure. The preliminary score will be failing since the introduction has altered the discussion requirements from the original prompt. An established restatement and opinion were not presented at the start, nor was it presented at the end. The essay is definitely going to receive a failing score for not adhering to the examination regulations for this task. Let me be clear though, the discussion paragraphs are on point, coherent, and cohesive. Those will receive full scoring marks as deemed fit by the examiner. However, well developed reasoning paragraphs cannot help achieve a passing score when the prompt considerations were not properly represented at the beginning and end of the presentation. The failing score could have been offset a bit had he indicated a relevant and direct response to the question provided in both sections.

## the number of shop closures and openings The line graph illustrates how many shops closed or opened their businesses from 2011 to 2018 in a particular country.[/b] Overall, there was a downward trend in both the number of shop closures and openings in the reporting period, with the figure for shop inauguration saw a massive decrease. In addition, the number of shop openings hit its lowest point in 2015, while the other was in 2018. The number of shop openings started at 9000 in 2011, after which it experienced a sharp dip to 4000 in 2012, following a slight rebound just above 6000 in 2014. To a lesser extent, the figure for shops being shut down began at 6500, going through a small drop to 6000 in 2012, experiencing some fluctuations from 2012 to 2014 and ending at roughly 6000. There were only about 500 shops being wound up in 2015 - a significant fall compared to 2014. After that, the figure rose substantially in 2016 and remained steady approximately 5000 until 2018. The figure for shop openings followed an almost identical pattern, which took a dip in 2015 and arrived at the same statistic in 2012, plateauing from that year to 2017, and eventually sank to 3,000 in 2018. (205 words)

The trending paragraph is no longer a trending paragraph. It turned into a report already due to the over-information and comparative discussion provided in the section. Therefore, the essay will be deemed only partially format compliant and receive TA deductions due to the lack of a proper trending statement or correctly formatted trending paragraph. Say less in the trending statement. Play safe and discuss only 1 trend to establish the presentation requirement. The rest of the comparison can be made in the reporting paragraphs. Even though the essay is over the maximum 200 word requirement, it cannot possibly gain a passing score because of the lack of grammar range in the presentation. The paragraphs have a standard requirement of 3-5 sentences. Any less than that, 2 sentence presentations, are not considered properly developed paragraphs. There is a lack of proper analysis in the presentation. There is no real mix of simple, complex and compound sentences, only run-on sentences, which will result in a failing GRA score. \*I did not access the image link due to forum rules disallowing access to exterior links. We will not be responsible for any malicious coding or malware that may have accidentally attached to the link that could damage or infect the computers of the other users here. Next time, upload the image to the server for safety purposes. If an image link is provided a second time, no advice will be provided anymore.

***It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? It is argued that there will be a loss of traditional cultures because of technology developments. Technology is not able to get along with traditional cultures. I personally agree with this statement because the convenient aids of technology and its modern definitions of problems can deter traditional beliefs. On the one hand, communication culture recently has been aided with the convenience of the new technology. In recent years, people have had more opportunities to communicate with others through Internet. This is because there is neither distance boundary nor time-consuming wait. For instance, an email is immediately sent and received by a person which the writer aims to, without concerns about how far-reaching distance of the receiver is or whether the receiver can read this email or not. By this way, it is obvious that writing letters, which is a common way of communication to others as traditional culture, has become an inconvenient way of sending messages to others who are in far-reaching places. Moreover, there are various contemporary notions of the world contrast to traditional beliefs. With the development of various open-mind lectures on social networking sites, marriage culture is gradually considered as an independent choice of each person, which is not accepted by the traditional marriage culture in the past, parents depend on every aspect of life of their offspring. Furthermore, in recent years, human being have been more open-minded about LGBT phenomenon by some gender campaigns produced on Internet. As a case in point, two girls or two boys can get married with each other under the acknowledgement of some developed nations, they are even received numerous blesses from people around the world by updating their marriage videos on Youtube. As a result, the disappearance of traditional cultures is inevitable as if they are still upheld by any old-fashioned mind, this person will probably be left behind the development of society. To conclude, I personally agree with the statement that traditional cultures will be disappeared by the virtue of technology develops because the appearance of many modern notions and the convenience that technology has brought to civilization. *Dear mentor, can you give which band of my writing is? (in IELTS criteria) Thanks in advance. I really appreciate*

The prompt restatement is acceptable, along with the thesis statement. However, the question response is not within the expected format. This is not a mere agree or disagree essay. This is a measured response + opinion statement. So, one cannot merely "personally agree" with the statement. The writer's opinion must indicate to what degree he agrees (fully, totally, extremely) in order to establish the strong opinion response the writing needs to score well. There is no comparison being made in the discussion since the writer cohesively discusses his opinion based on sound reasoning. A reference to "On the one hand" is unnecessary of there is no "On the other hand" comparative discussion present. Do not mix up the cohesive transition devices in the presentation. It creates a confusing presentation format and shows an unfamiliarity with the discussion requirements / formats based on various task directions. The same sex marriage example is incorrect as that is not a technology related discussion. A more appropriate technology based example would have been brick and mortar (traditional) banking as opposed to online (digital) banking and why traditional banking is no longer relevant in todays world. \*Contact me privately for scoring services. Thank you.

## Teaching as a Profession Nowadays, with the development of all the facilities, people are likely to choose to work as an IT employee or an engineer, but not as a teacher, due to some issues, However, to solve this problem, I will analyze the possible reasons and then tackle this phenomenon. Let's start off by looking at some reasons. In my view, two factors we can easily see are salary and education rules. For starters, lecturers' monthly salaries are lower than those of other jobs, and they are unable to completely adapt to their lives. Not only are the earnings low, but also the stipulate conducted by the government. In Vietnam, for example, some rules state the tutor cannot use corporal punishment, giving the student leverage to be rude and misbehave in class. From that, most pedagogues tend to teach either primary or university-level pupils. On the other hand, some corrective actions can be sufficient to help mentor and educate senior year pupils by increasing their monthly wages. In addition, an administrator needs to help some professors by adding benefits for them, particularly in a rented house, food, etc. Secondly, in middle school, very bad-mannered students are often turned down by enforcing rigorous rules within schools. For instance, in Singapore, if the scholar infringes, they will be penalized with community service. Worse yet, they will be expelled from school. Finally, teaching has become much less popular in many countries. I believe that the primary responsibility for resolving this issue lies with parents and the government.

The prompt restatement is highly inaccurate. The given opening sentence is a writer's opinion, which is not represented in the original prompt. The discussion is about the lack of teachers in secondary schools. Something that the writer has totally skipped in his prompt restatement. The rephrasing is therefore an immediate failure. Then, the writer once again, fails to establish his thesis statement for his opinion response. He will not receive any scoring consideration for merely repeating the discussion instructions. The writer has already failed a major part of this test that will ensure he is not going to get a passing mark for the written task. The writer also continues to show a lack of control over simple English sentence structures. He offers confusing statements by not using everyday English words. The discussion does not have a coherent and cohesive flow because of his improper focus on using advanced English words. If he cannot focus on overall sentence presentation improvement, then using big English words will be useless since the LR section is only 1 part of the scoring consideration. There are too many sentence fillers in the paragraphs as well. Rather than using topic sentences, he tries to over extend the discussion merely to meet the word count. Which he barely met since he only wrote 254 words when he should write at least 275 words to highlight his English writing skills. Even with the low word count, he failed to properly discuss the essay anyway. So the word count, whether meeting the requirement or not, did not help his overall score. Written text must focus on discussion clarity. The discussion does not keep the topic focus. His later paragraphs show a topic discussion deviation that is no longer connected to the secondary school education teacher discussion. Which will be a major reason for additional failing scores.

## IELTS writing task 2 - Essay about Multitasking ***Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion*** People have different views about the advantages that multitasking brings back. While there are some strong arguments oppose this view. I would argue that it is better to complete one task at a time. There are several reasons why it might be considered beneficial to cope with two or more problems at the same time. Obviously, it saves a lot of hours. Doing parallel works would minimize the necessary time to finish them, and this can help people to achieve their goals in a speedily manner. Moreover, ability to juggle with tasks can train the mind and improve flexibility. When solving a huge workload simultaneously, it taxes the brain have to figure out how to approach issues efficiently, adjust the strategy, and as result, it assist people to adapt to vary circumstance. However, I agree with those who argue that doing multiple tasks at the same time is advantageous. Although it increase the productivity, quality of work is diminished significantly. Moving from task to task actually drags your progress and increases the odds of making mistakes, this mean it will influence negatively on your work or academic performance. In addition, multitasking also cause many health issues. If people multitask for a long time, it can effect their brain's ability to retain information and lead to some mental diseases, namely stress, anxiety and more. In conclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that managing with works together is helpful, my own view is that people should focus on one task at a time.

brings back Incorrect reference. This phrase indicates "a return" or " to return" Removing the word "back" creates the correct reference as "brings" means "to carry, convey, conduct, or cause" which is the sentence implication. The reasoning paragraphs are both written from a personal point of view when the comparative discussion format requires the writer to provide a public reference supporting the given opinions. Only after clearly referencing the public consideration should the personal opinion come into play. Therefore, the discussion presentation is incorrect. It does not effectively deliver the expected comparison considerations. That said, the examiner will still provide scoring considerations overall. The problem is that the wrong discussion format will prevent full score applications.

## benefits of traditional celebrations Living in a modern world, tradition has either symbolic meanings or significant importance to society. Therefore, a large number of traditional festivals are celebrated annually around the world. This essay will discuss the importance of traditional festivals. First of all, during a celebration, people gather together with others. Annually, everyone takes a chance to meet their relatives, children visit their grandparents, neighbours and come together and celebrate. For example, in Vietnam, on the Tet holiday, people come back to their hometown and wish their relatives a good year. These yearly traditional festivals allow people to gather happily and enjoy themselves together and this promotes integration between people and people. On the other hand, traditional festivals also play a crucial role in society. Celebrations are not only a good time for all people to know more about their cultures, customs, traditions, and religion but also a good occasion for the schools to organize their extra - curriculum so that the students can have more opportunities to understand more about their countries' tradition. Furthermore, experiencing their cultures can help them understand the importance of it and preserve, maintain their traditional celebrations. For instance, in North Korea, there is a day that all of the citizens have to go to Kim Jong-il square to pay respect to the colossal leader, everyone who does not come to that festival will be charged strictly. To conclude, I wanna emphasize the benefits of traditional celebrations because they congregate people together and make them know and preserve their culture. Furthermore, they reflect the civilization of an ethnicity.

The establishing topic and discussion paragraphs must be presented over a 3 sentence paraphrase and discussion topic statement. The current first paragraph has a strong topic introduction but a very bad discussion focus. The lack of discussion reasoning topics weakened the opinion presentation. Next time, provide a clearer outline in relation to the topic opinion. Do not just repeat the discussion instructions as points are not awarded for that redundancy. There is no "on the other hand" to discuss. The wrong phrase was chosen for use. The phrase refers to a comparative discussion of an opposing presentation. Since these are related and both positive, a continuing cohesiveness reference should have been used. wanna You are not writing to someone from the ghetto. You are writing to an academic professional. Never use informal word references in any of there essays. There is no place in this writing for English slang. countries' The reference should be for a proprietorial country. Therefore the singular reference with 's should be used. The plural form of the word should not be used. This is incorrect grammar. The sudden addition of the ethnic reference at the end without proper development will cause an automatic failing score due to an open-ended rather than concluded essay.

## Playing a game is fun only when you win A recent survey shows that while many people choose gaming as a healthy way of entertainment in their life, many other people believe that only when you win the game will you feel happy. I completely agree with those who have the first opinion. There are some advantages of playing games such as reducing stress, broadening knowledge and learning many skills. First of all, gaming is one of the effective ways to get rid of stress after tiring working hours. This is because people will focus on another space to make them temporarily forget the current fatigue. In addition, the increase in brain activity while playing the game also improves the player's mood. Entertainment games play the role of helping players feel more relaxed so that is the reason why playing games is very helpful for people. Secondly, people have the opportunity to acquire knowledge while playing the game. To explain, there are many learning games that bring a lot of knowledge to the participants. From my personal experience, my friend has become fluent in English reading and listening skills because the game he played was entirely in English. To be able to play this game, he had to work hard and get used to it. Therefore, playing games is a good choice for entertainment. Last but not least, improving many skills is one of the benefits of playing games. One reason for this is there are many games that require players to have a quick mind and ability to memorize. Players will be trained and challenged through many rounds so this will help their skills get better. In short, people can develop other skills when playing games.

2 things one has to remember about the first paragraph presentation. One has to do with English comprehension and restatement skills. The other, has to do with familiarity with IELTS discussion questions. 1. This is the section that is scored in terms of task accuracy. It is based on the writer's ability to understand the question, stick to the discussion, and offer a relevant response or opinion based on the discussion instruction. Therefore, the writer should not make up any information just to make the paragraph longer. Some tasks have 2 sentence presentations. Other restatements can have up to 5 sentence representations. It all depends upon the original topic content and presentation. In this case, this should have been a 2 sentence restatement, without the "survey" representation since that is not a part of the original topic presentation. That created a topic misdirection which will result in a failing restatement score. 2. There are 2 different types of agree or disagree presentations in an IELTS test. The first is the simple, agree or disagree response. The other is the extent of agreement or disagreement based on an emotional response. The response for this essay should be the simple one ( I agree with this statement because...) instead of the complex one (I completely...) based on the question provided. The response does not meet the expected response format and will result in a lower than expected response score because of the improper response format. These are the 2 reasons that the essay will start with a handicap score that will need to be overcome in the later paragraphs if the exam taker is to pass the test. From my personal experience, Owing to the fact that the experience is not something that happened to you but to a friend, the reference "experience" is incorrect and will confuse the reader. When referencing the experience of someone else, it is better to indicate "Based on my personal knowledge" to clearly indicate that the narration will be about someone else and not you; This is a 2 reasoning paragraph presentation. It does not require 2 reasons. What it does require is a concluding summary, which was not provided by the writer hence leaving an open ended essay. The lack of a concluding summary often pushes the examiners to give the essay an overall failing score because the writer showed an inability to present a properly formatted discussion.

***In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year finishing high school and starting university studies.*** ## Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this? Nowadays, high school students in many nations are encouraged to take a gap year to travel or work before pursuing a higher educational degree. This trend could be a double-edged sword, and this essay will analyze the pros and cons of this issue. To begin with, a gap year is not a common and popular norm in many society because it's pretty risky. People typically take a year off to do things differently from usual for particular purposes, such as studying new knowledge or applying for scholarships. However, without a careful and thorough plan, it could be time-wasting. Besides, people may find it challenging returning to school after one year of doing what they love without restrictions and principles. This result can negatively affect their educational progress. Apart from many disadvantages, a gap year also has positive impacts. Firstly, this is a valuable chance for youngsters to enhance their social knowledge and skills, which rarely be taught at school. Secondly, students can utilize this time to explore the passion they decide to pursue in university. Research conducted at Tsinghua university in China pointed out that 73% of university students lost interest in their chosen major after a short time and later started a career different from what they spent four years studying. A year for emerging into a real environment helps young people evaluate their own choice for certainty, therefore decreasing the liability of wasting time studying a major that leads them to regret later. In conclusion, having a year out of formal education before entering university may be a risky decision; however, there are undeniable advantages for youngsters' life and educational choices.

Please remember that the main score of this essay will be based on 2 important preliminary aspects that can be found in the prompt restatement and writer's opinion paragraph. These factors are: 1. An accurate paraphrasing of the original topic and its discussion basis. This helps the examiner assess the writer's English comprehension skills. 2. A correct personal opinion statement composed of 2 sentences (advantage and disadvantage) that directs the examiner towards a clear understanding of the writer's opinion as based on his personal knowledge and experience requirement. So what is missing in this presentation? Though not clearly stated in the instructions, it is important that the writer use a wide grammar range that showcases his personal opinion via first person pronoun use. What it does not need, is the reference to the university research which is not a requirement for scoring well in a task 2 essay. Yes, the information can be made up, but it must reference personal knowledge in the first person form. It must never be presented as a researched or general statement. That is what the TA and GRA scoring basis is all about. Proper grammar usage and knowledge of English writing rules. The essay should indicate that what is being provided is the writer's insight by starting the thesis statement with "I believe that the advantage is... while the disadvantage is..." Then every paragraph thereafter must indicate the writer's insight with anchors like "I have personally heard that this decision is not popular because..." Then indicate the opposite with "From my personal experience, my gap year taught me that..." The latter reference prevents the need to mention researched information or data. The conclusion is too short. It does not follow the required 40 word / 2 sentence concluding presentation. The recap is not properly offered to the examiner.

## Writing Task 2 - Polution and Solution essay Deforestation caused by human activity is happening iss many parts of the world, with serious results of the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?. Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words These days, more and more deforestation is happening with serve results caused by human activity. However, finding a solution can not be simple as it involves a lot of different countries and many political and economic factors. This essay will examine some of these problems in detail, and then propose some solution. One of the main causes of the problem is the increasing of the needs of using wood products. In other words, logging companies fell trees for these purposes such as making furniture, paper, house and so on. To solve this problem, we could reuse, recycle or reduce our use of them which would allow more people to limit waste. Paper products, in particular, often make opportunities for reusing, reducing, recycling our use of them. Another issue is the basic constructions. That is to say, we cut down of trees in forest to build roads or infrastructure. To tackle this problem, government should to less build unnecessary constructions so as to dwindle de forest. A third cause of the problem is the deforestation of illegal loggers to take forest products. As a consequence, forest cover can be diminished which could have negative impacts on habitat of animal as well as some problems relating to environment. The way forward could be to enhance forest manage or punish heavier illegal loggers. This would reduce deforestation. To sum up, I think although it is clean that forest have to be faced a range of problems, it is undoubtedly possible to start to tackle the issues, and protect environment. All have a role to play in tackling the problem, otherwise the environment will only get worse in the future. @Vink

The most severe problem with this essay is the lack of proper sentence development in relation to the discussion. The writer is incapable of writing coherent English sentences and paragraphs due to his lack of proper vocabulary usage, the result of his lack of English word knowledge. The essay will immediately fail in the GRA section because of the lack of proper sentence structure and confusing idea presentations. When these 2 problems arise, the essay will also automatically fail in the C+C section since the clarity of the discussion and its interconnection within sentences and paragraphs are faulty as well. There is no chance that this type of writing will get a passing score. The writer must first build his English vocabulary and then, and only then, practice writing simple and complex English sentences. His word usage must be relevant to the discussion and the meaning should be applicable to the idea he is trying to present. Fail to accomplish these and he will be sure to fail the test.

## owning a home rather than renting one Having a house is more popular rather than renting one is becoming more popular in some parts of the world. In my opinion, this dilemma can have both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. On the one hand, owning a home can be beneficial for individuals. Firstly, they can design their home creatively on their own. To be more specific, young people are more likely to minimalism design, so affording a house by their money can help them to have an opportunity to renovate their house as home as they want. Secondly, when people own a house, they do not have to worry or pay about the renting expense per month. Therefore, they can have more money to save or to spend for other purposes. On the other hand, there are two main drawbacks of owning a house. To begin with, having a house means that a person especially young generation has to work more time and doing more jobs to earn enough money to afford a house. At a result, all the people who try to do that as fast as possible will always be in the exhausted condition. In addition, in some countries, the cost of buying a house is too expensive to handle for a person. This is because the price of a house is not only about construction, people also need to pay other stuffs such furniture, land. In conclusion, I think the fact that owning a home rather than renting one can have both upsides and downsides for people.

The discussion essay is presented in a format that does not conform with the response expectations in regards to the opinion question. A direct inquiry was made as to whether this is a positive or negative development. Rather than responding to the question in a relevant manner, the writer opted to change the reasoning presentation to an advantage and disadvantage comparative essay instead. The alteration in discussion focus shows a lack of English comprehension skills. He clearly did not understand the question, resulting in an incorrect response format. That means that the writer did not meet the task accuracy requirements. Failure to properly restate the discussion question via a relevant and related writer's opinion means the essay has failed the test, regardless of the remaining scores awarded to the essay.

## Writing Task 2 - Advantages and disadvantages essay Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results of the environment. Governments should ban it to make contribution to protect environment. What the advantages and disadvantages of this solution? Write an esay at least 250 words These days, there are more human deforestation activities caused serious results of the environment in many parts of the world. Some believe that governments should ban deforestation to solve this problem as well as make contribution to protect environment. There are both negatives and positives to decide in this solution. I will explore pros and cons of this problem and draw some conclusions. Let's start by looking at the advantaged of this method. One of the major positives of this suggestion is your not only dwindle deforestation but also can help to increase forest area including natural forest and artificial forest. That may reduce catastrophe such as storm, erosion and so on, and provide habitat for vegetation and terrestrial animals. Another advantage of this remedy is you can diminish emission which trees absorb in their photosynthesis. This can help to reduce green house gases. For example, trees absorb carbon dioxide and produce oxygen in their photosynthesis which may contribute to deplete carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, as the result of limiting climate change and global warming. Turning to the other side argument, this solution has also negatives. One of the biggest disadvantages of this remedy is it is possible to cause a shortage of resources for agriculture and industry. Another major drawback is do not have enough resources may be a reason for emergence of illegal resources. To sum up, there are both positives and negatives of this way. In spite of the fact that this solution can protect environment, it can also affect on economics. Personally, I think governments should take into account before making a decision. @Vink

The prompt restatement should never contain any repetition coming from the original prompt. Not a single sentence, phrase, or word should be seen in the writer's version because that will automatically result in a failing TA score for the restatement section. It shows the writer needs to use memorized words or cut and paste phrases to express himself. In other words, he has a limited vocabulary that hinders his ability to explain what the original prompt is about. This is a serious problem that can be found in the second sentence of the first paragraph. The writer's opinion is not clear since he does not present establishing A v. D discussion topics. Additionally, a statement was made that the writer will present a conclusion to the discussion. That is a prompt deviation since only a comparative discussion is required for the discussion essay. Based on the starting errors for the essay, the TA score will be based on preliminary non-passing score considerations. Making it more difficult for the writer to receive a passing mark. The main problem will be the presentation of a conclusion which altered the discussion requirements, proving the writer's inability to understand basic English writing instructions. Another problem the writer shows in the presentation is an inability to make himself understood in English. His sentences are mostly written in broken English that make it difficult or confusing to understand. Though his thoughts may sometime be understood, the lack of discussion development to prove his point creates less than accurate discussion presentations. The writer does not show an ability to pass the test at this point due to the problems previously mentioned. He needs to do better in his ESL classes overall if he is even come close to a base passing score by the time he takes the test.

## pressurizing children at schools In today's scenario, an unbearable constellation of subjects is being encumbered on the shoulders of a young child because their parents think that a multifaceted preparation would earn their child a good place in the office, especially in nowadays competitive environment. However, in most cases, the pressure has become nightmares for the children. To commence with, the pressure issued is nowhere as near as a development since something is considered a development when it is better than its antecedents in a positive and productive way. However, in this case, the pressure only executes as a motivation mechanism which only shows efficiency with an inconsiderable number of students while others face stress, anxiety and depression. A testimony to this is the increasing phenomenon of suicidal in Vietnam recently which claimed the responsibility to the horrendous pressure at school. Moreover, though it is said that "pressure makes diamonds", I believe that diamonds are not the only thing that are valuable in this life and not all people want to become a diamond. It would be a malicious decision to withdraw the right to be happy from anybody so that they could accomplish the success that they don't even want. Furthermore, The good intentions in the first place could cause a reverse reaction and play havoc to the whole education system if the child decides to rebel and counteract the oppression. All in all, overly pressurizing children implicits both tangible and intangible outcomes that could cause the child many severe mental illnesses and exhaustion. Therefore, it would be a retrograde decision to utilize it as a tool to push the children to improvement.

Kindly remember that the direct question to be responded to it "Do you think this is a positive or negative development?" Deliver a clear opinion response that uses one of the two keywords from the question. Using the correct keyword will result in meeting the writer's clear opinion statement requirement in the TA section. While flowerly language is good in creative writing, it does not help a student trying to gain a high LR IELTS score. That is because these creative word usage and references result in confusing statements. The writer is expected to deliver this discussion using everyday English words in the correct context. For example a "constellation" will not be used in daily conversation for any topic unless one is taking an astronomy class or speaking with an astronomer. The word is used without proper consideration of its actual application to the idea being presented. While the writer uses several advanced English words in the presentation, these only served to lower the LR score as these do not properly apply to the expected conversation. Based on my observation of the writer's skills, he understands the topic, is capable of discussing the same, but is trying too hard to impress using incorrect vocabulary and references. It creates an exaggerated discussion that overemphasizes to the point of confusing the reader. Which will result in GRA deductions as well.

***Even though organic fruits and vegetables are more expensive than conventional fruits and vegetables they are worth the extra cost.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? Natural and traditional foods are one of the most controversial types of food people nowadays argue about. Although the cost of organic food is more expensive than the conventional one, its benefits are worth every penny. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this notion. Organic food has become increasingly popular in today's society. This means, if people consume organic food instead of traditional food, it will probably reflect positively on their health. For instance, a group of dietitians at Stanford University looked into the effect of natural foods on people's health. They found that people who consume this kind of food will probably be less vulnerable to many diseases, such as cancer and obesity, than people who eat conventional food. As a result, wisely, I believe that individuals should avoid eating unhealthy food and look for their health needs. Furthermore, many individuals nowadays are shifting toward natural resources for food. This indicates that these people think about their health in a beneficial way leading them to a much more healthy life. For example, a recent report from the World Health Organization showed that conventional food could cause numerous diseases such as cancer and diabetes. Thus, the more people shift toward healthy food, the more they get rid of chemicals caused by man-made food. In conclusion, I believe that everyone should consider the importance of our health. Eating healthy food and avoiding traditional food as much as possible is the key to living a healthy life. Instilling this concept in people will lead to a future of a much healthier generation.

Three errors in the prompt restatement section. All having to do with discussions that are not represented in the first presentation. 1. This is not referenced as a controversial type of food. 2. There is no representing argument statement 3. There is no emotional response requirement. A simple opinion statement would have sufficed. These mistakes in task representation could very well result in a preliminary failing score since the restatement and opinion requirements were not properly met. The writer did an excellentjob of defending his (incorrectly overstated) opinion. The discussion is both cohesive and coherent, which could offset the early failing score a bit. As far as the concluding paraphrase is concerned, the writer did not provide one. Instead, a continuing discussion was provided, leaving the essay open ended. Simply saying " In conclusion" but not providing the correct type of conclusion means no closing summary was provided as required.

*Subject: **In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment.*** ## To what extent do you agree? Due to the growth of teen criminals in today's world, some people think it is best to give them the same punishment as adults. In this essay, I will analyze my point of view about this trigger topic. First of all, youngsters under 18 are not mature enough to receive harsh punishments for their actions. By putting them in prison, they can be bullied or physically abused, which can leave them to end up suffering from fear and discrimination. There are special juvenile halls for kids who break the laws and get training lessons to understand more about laws and not get into trouble when they get released. I think this is a great way for them to make up their mind, sending them to juvenile halls mainly for the purpose of educating, helping them to correct their mistakes, develop healthily, and become useful citizens of society. Secondly, the prosecution of persons under 18 years of age who commits a crime, for prison only in necessary cases and must be based on their personal characteristics, the dangerous nature of the offense and the seriousness of the crime. But, there are exceptions because sometimes kids actually still go to jail because the course only applies prison sentences with a definite term to offenders under the age of 18 when deeming that other punishments and educational measures do not have a deterrent or preventive effect. In conclusion, I do not agree with the idea of giving children the same punishment as adults because that would be unfair and abuse the children mentally and physically. Word count: 262

I am wondering where the writer found a reference to a "trigger topic" for this discussion. Seeing as the original presentation makes no reference to such thinking, the topic restatement is now inaccurate and unrelated to the original discussion. Owing to the fact that the required response format was not presented in terms of the writer's opinion, this essay has already received a failing score even before the rest of the essay has been read. Even as the writer's opinion is presented at the end, the essay cannot be given a passing score. That is because the opinion statement format is wrong and also, cannot be presented in the concluding paragraph due to the information recap required in the section. The overall incorrect discussion approach is what will prevent this essay from reaching the passing mark, regardless of the appropriateness of the reasoning paragraphs.

## People say that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad The topic of whether a country will gain an edge when its students study overseas.Although there are disbeliefs and controversies over the statement,I personally agree with the opinion for several reasons Without a doubt, students who study abroad have the ability to contribute to their country's development.First and foremost, greater educational standards at foreign institutions will provide students the top notch education with qualified teachers and advanced learning facilities.Student will achieve qualification that are accredited and recognized worldwide, they can have more opportunities and better career prospect. Furthermore, studying abroad make students become adaptive,skillful,and well-rounded since they have to be independent and conscientious in a foreign land. Hence, they will have advantages and experiences when working in a multicultural and international environment.Therefore, it is beneficial to our society due to the educated, skilled workforce in the future. Nevertheless, there are some issues that students have to face when studying overseas.Firstly,economic matters are one of the burdens for students and families so they must expense and manage their money wisely.Otherwise, they may face other challenges such as solitude,homesickness,and alien environments.However,all this obstacles, all this pressure,they are all the precious experiences that oversea students have to undergo to become more complete and then produce societal values..On the other hand, not all students have a desire to return to their native country and develop it. It is understandable that many students choose to emigrate after their studies because of better living conditions and job growth prospects in foreign nations. As a result, society must deal with the loss of trained labor.

While the writer shows a good understanding of the discussion topic, a problem arose with the incomplete opinion statement. While this is an ague or disagree essay, it has the added requirement of an emotional response to indicate the writers's (non) support of the given statement. Therefore, the paragraph missed out on being fully task responsive by accident. Only partial scoring will apply to the preliminary score. The overall discussion is also improperly developed as the writer provides an alternative statement discussion Since this is not an A V. D prompt, that discussion format cannot be used. This is a single opinion defense meaning, both paragraphs should support the given opinion. Missing from the presentation is the expected 4 paragraph format. The concluding paraphrase is not included in the presentation. Thatparagraph is a scoring necessity that can result in the essay receiving a failing score.

## IELTS Task 2 - Distance learning ***Universities and collages are now offering qualification through distance learning from the internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?*** It is irrefutable that more and more universities and colleges have started to offer qualification through distance learning from the internet rather than teachers in the classroom. This situation has both pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, It is obvious that distance learning benefits both teachers and students because they do not need to commute to school anymore. distance learning saves their time and allows them to do other things. For example, students that live far away from their college would be very grateful because they can study through online courses, not only that they can save their time but also their money since they do not need to commute to school or live in dorms. On the other hand, some people prefer study in classroom rather than study online. The reason is that they believe students can not stay focus studying online, and teachers can not tell whether a student is distracted or not, so distance learning will harm the efficiency of the courses. However, some actions could be taken to make sure that students are paying attention to the courses. For example, teachers could always randomly pick someone in the class to answer questions. In that way, students will not get distracted so easily. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, there are definite advantages to offering qualification through distance learning from the internet as long as universities and colleges could ensure the quality of their online courses and make sure that every students could stay focus throughout the classes. If this is done, then definitely the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

2 problems exist with the topic restatement. The first, is that the writer has said the topic is "irrefutable" when the original prompt does not indicate the need for such a strongly worded restatement. The mere discussion point has been exaggerated to the point of altering the original topic foundation. There will be point reductions for that. The 2nd problem is that the phrase: distance learning from the internet rather than teachers in the classroom. is a direct cut and paste from the original presentation. It is evidence that the writer utilizes memorized phrases via cut and paste to complete his thoughts. Both errors will result in a failing preliminary TA score. Which means the writer will need to present a near perfect opinion statement and discussion paragraphs in order to pass. The second sentence is an unnecessary filler because the relevant writer's opinion was found in the last sentence of the paragraph.The only presentations missing were the reasoning topics basis. The reasoning paragraphs are underdeveloped as only one of the 2 discussion paragraphs directly relate to the writer's opinion. Scores will not be provided for the alternate reasoning discussion. This is a sad occurrence seeing as how the closing summary was well written in relation to the reverse paraphrase requirement.

## fertility rate in China And USA The line graph illustrates how the fertility rate changed in two various countries over an 80-year period, starting from 1920. Overall, a gradual decrease was witnessed in the percentage of birth in China and the USA. It is noticeable that the proportion of fertility in the USA was the highest over most of the period. In 1920, the rate of fertility in the USA stood at over 22%, higher than 20% of China's birth rate. During the next 15 years, the percentage of birth in both China and the USA fluctuated prior to increasing to nearly 25% and 23% respectively. After falling to 5% and remaining stable, the proportion of birth in China saw a significant upwards to reach a peak of 15% in 1950. Similarly, the fertility rate of the USA declined to the lowest point of nearly 5% in 1954 but later rose to 25% during the period. In the next 50 years, a sudden downtrend of about 17% was seen in the birth rate of China before fluctuating between 3% and 4%. A similar pattern was seen in the percentage of birth in the USA, as it went down gradually to approximately 7% during most of the period. *

Never neglect to mention the specific starting and ending period of the measurement in the summary. The summary must refer to all the specific highlights as seen in the chart. Make sure that the short form is informative and clear to the point that the report will be a lengthened version only. The report could have been more detailed in terms of comparisons. There are 4 overlapping measurement points that the writer forgot to include in the reporting paragraphs. These minute details help increase the analytical scoring consideration of the essay. Information provided is sufficient to achieve a passing score though some deductions will still apply in relation to GRA criteria. Sentence perfection is the goal but a few small deductions due to simple errors in that section will not affect the final score too much. The overall presentation is oherive and oherent just the same.

## Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary SCHOOL Nowadays, studying a foreign language is very necessary for everyone, especially children because the demand for languages is increasing day by day. It has many benefits for children to learn a foreign language from primary school like English but it also has some drawbacks if it is not suitable for children. On the one hand, studying a foreign language at primary school is very helpful for youngsters. If children study a foreign language when they are 6 or 8 years old, it will be easier to receive knowledge than to learn in secondary school. Besides, learning a foreign language early also helps children develop intelligence and improve their thinking ability. For example, many parents let their children learn English when youngsters study in elementary school because they believe that it will help children enhance reflex skills such as : reflect skills when speaking or writing. As a result, many students can communicate by English frequently and they can also use English as their mother tongue. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of learning a foreign language too early. Firstly, studying a foreign language when children are underage will not bring a good result. Children can feel uncomfortable if they have to study a foreign language which they do not like and it can affect their mother tongue learning. Secondly, if young people study too much, they can lose a beautiful childhood. Currently, most parents just focus on the education of their children but they forget that they should consolidate spiritual life for youngsters. In conclusion, from the above-mentioned analysis, learning a foreign language at primary school has both upsides and downsides for children. In my opinion, teenagers should study any foreign languages to expand their knowledge

The prompt should accurately restate the original topic. Synonyms for references such as experts and their belief in language learning are scorable. Such discussion foundations do not exist in the writer depiction. The writer's opinion is also not clearly stated in the required sentence. He failed to provide a direct answer to the given question; do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Though an opinion was stated, he did not pick one side of the discussion to represent in the reasoning paragraphs. This left the essay without the required single opinion response format. The writer did not provide a clear opinion on the given topic. This is not a comparative essay discussion and should not be discussed as such. The essay has failed to achieve the discussion requirements from the very start.

## us energy chart The line graph illustrates the energy consumption by the fuel of the United States from 1980 to 2030. Overall, petrol and oil were consumed the most, and they have burgeoned from 1990 until 2030. Although coal was not used as much as petrol and oil, its development rate still increases from 1980 to now. The other fuels do not fluctuate too much, most of them were stably expended. Nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower remain below 15 quadrillions. Hydropower was expended at least, it fluctuated from 1980 to 2010 but after that, this fuel does not have many changes. Nuclear and solar/wind have little change before 2005, then they stay level of expending, finally, they have some sign of progress from 2025. Coal and natural gas are the second most common fuel. While coal rises every year, the development rate of natural gas is not volatile since 2015. Petrol and oil dropped to 30 quadrillions in 1985, however, it develops stably until now. In addition, petrol and oil increase quickly between 1995 and 2020. The highest consumption is predicted about 50 quadrillions in 2030. *

The trending statement is overdone. It is referencing the wrong trend as well. The trending projection should be indicative of the year 2030 trend since that is the last part of the comparison presentation. The year sequence "now" is also not right since the line graph measurements do not end in 2022. Measurement units should also be established in the summary overview. When writing a report or analysis, one must indicate the measurements as mentioned in the graph. A more appropriate analysis can only be achieved if proper numerical data is provided. General estimates do not accomplish the necessary reporting and analysis paragraphs. It makes the presentation less than informative. A clear comparison presentation must be established. As far as effective task 1 presentations go, this one does not effectively achieve the purposes required of the essay.

Hi, I am preparing for an internal school English language test, I would like your feedback about my essay. The rule is mentioned below: *Write an essay in an academic style in answer to the following question in between 150 and 250 words. ## **What are the qualities that make a good leader?** Include the following points in your essay: -a definition of a good or bad leader -situations where leadership is necessary -examples of effective leaders* Here is my answer: Leadership is important when running a company or working with a group of people. It can eventually lead to efficiency and high production of work. I believe a good leader has the characteristic of being able to unite people and give specific and good directions for the team to follow. Firstly, good leaders are able to unite their team because they understand the potential and skills of each member. They are able to give the right task to the suitable people. Although within a team, members may have different personalities, good leaders are able to communicate with them to prevent conflicts. Secondly, leaders who give good directions and instructions at important moments can help the team surpass difficulties. Take my own experience working as a nurse for example. During each shift, we will have a person who is named the leader of the shift. When an emergency situation comes, such as if a patient needed CPR, leaders will be the ones telling other members how to react. With good leadership, problems can be quickly solved, and members can be put in the right position to do their jobs without panicking and not knowing what to do. In conclusion, I believe a good leader unites the team members to work together and give clear and clever instructions when facing challenges and decisions. Thank you all for reading:)

There is no clear personal definition of leadership in this presentation. The definition should only cover one paragraph, rather than several. The spread out definition shows that the writer is not really familiar with the topic, requiring him to try and develop a response over several sentences and paragraphs. The situation where leadership is necessary uses a good reference point since it is based on personal experience. However, a more explanatory scenario could have been used to better respond to the prompt. A reference to the examples of effective leaders was committed in the presentation. The - discussion has created a discussion gap. This , is indicative of a rushed essay. It did not pass through proofreading which is why the error was not corrected before the essay was submitted.

Hello everyone, I hope you have a wonderful day and this is my first time upload an essay on this page, furthermore, Im going to have an Ielts test this Sunday so Im practicing my writing skills in order for me to get a higher band. So i need some advice and suggestion from everyone. Thank you.. :D **Topic: ## The percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.**: The pie chart illustrates the proportion of five different types of books sold on the market between 1972 and 2012. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that adult fiction had the most revenue among five types, while biography had the lowest percentage in 1992 and 2012, except 1972, and travel had the smallest proportion of the book published. In 1972, the percentage of others was the highest, which was 25%, while adult fiction, children's fiction and biography had the same proportion of 20%, and travel had the lowest number of all five types, which was 15%. In 1992, others and biography declined with the same percentage ( dropped by 5%), and the figure of children, adult , and travel genres went up by 2%, 5%,and 3%, respectively. In 2012, adult fiction jumped to 45%, which is the highest among of all five types, children's fiction rose slightly to 25%, while others took a small dip to 12 %.Travel and biography books fell to 8% and 7%, respectively.(171 words) *

This is a 4 paragraph presentation. The paragraph number is dictated by the number of images for comparison reporting. One to two images needs only a 3 paragraph presentation. So this the of presentation would be judged as requiring more development. Identifying the number of images and indicating its data representation within the summary helps to create a concise overview of notable information. Lack of it prevents the reader from receiving a comprehensive run-down of the long report. The trending statement should be easier to keep track of if the trend can relate to image identifiers. There should be a more comprehensive report for each year via individual year paragraphs. By creating separate analysis paragraphs more in-depth comparison details that can increase the score can be presented.

Hello guys, This is my first essay on IELTS Writing Task 1. My last essay was about 5 years ago and I just re-starting my journey to take the IELTS test now. I really need your suggestion and your review, and I hope you want to do so. Thank you :) ## percentage of households with electrical appliances **Topic :** ***The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.*** The changes in ownership of electrical appliances as well as the amount of time spent doing housework in one country is illustrates by the charts in the period of 1920 until 2019. During the period, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner have increased significantly while washing machine was fluctuating. Although the electrical appliances shows a greater growth by the time, the duration doing housework was going down and hit the shortest time in 2019. In 1920, the ownership of vacuum cleaner and washing machine shows a constant increase simultaneously compared to refrigerator. But the washing machine was fluctuating and slightly decrease in 1980, at the same time the vacuum cleaner constantly rise 10% per decades. The most rapid increment was hold by the refrigerator, which gain 55% ownership just in 20 years (from 1920 to 1940). All the households equip by vacuum cleaner and refrigerator in 2019, whereas the washing machines only get about 75%. The electrical appliances impact housework activity (such as washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning) become less longer almost in a century. It speed up the time about 30 hours from 1920 to get 20 hours per week in 1960. And finally in 2019, it only took around 10 hours per week to do the housework. *

While I can understand why the writer used a non-uniform summary presentation, it becomes useless when the required information and format are not correctly Lacking from the first paragraph are the number of images, identified image type, and at least 3 reference sentence The missing information plus the run-on sentence presentation ensures the essay will start with a failing preliminary / base score. There is a constant interchanging of time references throughout the reporting paragraphs. Confusion sets in because the writer jumps from present to past time indicators. It will result in another failing score within the GRA section ffor 2 reasons: 1. Lack of grammar use knowledge in relation to tense usage 2. Confusing reference patterns that negate the clarity of the report and the cohesiveness between paragraphs. Overall, the length of the essay does not help with the score distribution as the majority of points given will be in the failing range.

***Subject: Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world.*** ## What are the effects? And how can we solve this problem? While some people may not have enough food to sustain themselves on a daily basis, a lot of food is wasted every day by people throughout the world. Effective remedies should, in my opinion, be put forth promptly to address the issues that contribute to this situation. First of all, there are many reasons that lead to food waste, but one of the main ones is people's living standards are increasing day by day, especially in rich, high-income countries like the USA, the UK, Australia, etc. By having a high standard and eating sorted food, the "unnecessary" parts they considered will be wasted at the dump, and you might or might not know, some of them are absolutely edible to eat, the problem is that that fruits are too ripe or just too green or they have weird shapes and don't meet the supermarket's requirement. Moreover, wasting food causes a lot of problems to the environment and the area nearby. For example, large scaled-operation has affected a lot of the biodiversity and habitat. Which is one of the main reasons for water pollution and the devastation of habitat. The fuels use to transport those products will be wasted as well, affect to the whole machinery chain of production. The problem at the moment is how to solve it? Well, there are actually some ways people are doing that will help to decrease it in the future. One is pretty simple, you eat what you buy and make sure not to spend too much on it and waste a lot. Secondly, you can donate our supermarket themselves can feed food waste to pigs, and farm animals to reuse it, don't waste such nutritious and healthy food at the dump. In addition, scientists came up with the idea of attaching trackers to food, especially in the supermarket. With this thermometer, it will help you to correspond to the right temperature to store the food at its best quality to eat. In conclusion, I think by applying these solutions, we can save food waste someday and it won't be our planet's burden anymore.

Never include a personal opinion when restating the topic. That act creates a topic focus change since it is not orginally included in the presentation. That will result in score deductions. Where direct questions are given, the author is expected to provide a response to each. These questions are used to establish a unique writer's opinion that can serve as a summary of the discussion to come. Neglect to provide these expectations and the paragraph will receive a failing score. etc. The reference cannot be used when writing an academic paper. The word does not help add to the quality of the writing. The writer is not thinking of the quality of the provided topics. There is a lack of proper explanation and clear sentence structures. The result is an essay composed of under developed discussion references which lower the C + C scores.

## The pie charts below show enrollment in different fields of study at a particular university in 2021. The charts illustrate the percentage of males and females who applied for some majors of study at Clydesdale University in 2021. Overall, it is clear that both males and females enrolled in Engineering and Education, while Social Sciences and Humanities has an opposite trend. The proportion of applications which were sorted the most by males was Engineering, at 45%; while females only accounted for a fifth of the total fields. In terms of education, the figures for females were the highest and occupied 15% more than males. For the rest, females who registered in the field of Humanities were third as much as males, at 30% and 10% respectively. And Social sciences only 15% of women's registrations; while it made up a fourth of total men's enrollment. * *Pie chart*

While partial scores will be awarded for this essay overall, it will not be possible for it to meetpassing score requirements. There will be percentage points deducted due to the short count of 128 words. It did not meet the non-deductible minimum word count of 150 words. The summary overview needs to identify the type of charts provided and what the individual focus of each is. Note that the original explanation contained specific identifier clues that the writer should have used in the summary overview. Provide a clear 4 paragraph analysis and comparison report next time. The current presentation does not show that the writer took pains to meet the task 1 scoring requirements. Make sure the paragraph formatting is clear. I cannot tell if this is a 3 or 4 paragraph piece. 2 images = 4 paragraphs 1 image = 3 paragraphs

## the proportion of jobs in manufacturing, sales and services field The provided four pie charts gives information on the rates of job distribution in three different sectors in Town A and Town B in two years, 1960 and 2010. It can be seen that the percentage of people working in three illustrated fields were predicted to increase over the period. Additionally, Town A saw the greatest leap in the percentage of people working in the sales sector, which topped the chart to employ the most employees in the town, whereas sales-related jobs made up the highest proportion of the workforce in Town B. Looking at Town A with details, in 1960, 41% of the employees in Town A had a manufacturing job, while the statistics for sales and services were lower, 30% and 29% respectively. However, in 2010, the number of people having a services occupation experienced a dramatic upturn to 64%, surpassing the other two sectors, while the employment of sales and services saw a significant decline, at 16% and 20% respectively. Turning to Town B, manufacturing attracted the majority of residents at 70% in 1960 despite a remarkable drop to 53% in 2010. Works related to sales and services, by contrast, both saw rises in the proportion of workers to 22% and 25%, respectively. *

The first paragraph is a run-on sentence. It is confusing for the reader to read as too much information is placed in one sentence. Basic sentence building abilities are immediately scored in the summary paragraph. Therefore, the paragraph must contain at least 3 sentences representing individual information regarding the images and other highlights. The understanding is that the report will help the writer create a mental image of the provided data. The report cannot ask the reader to look at or infer that the reader must refer to the image. The report must clearly explain the data imaginatively, based on the writer's analysis. There are several references to the image consultation here that will reduce the score in terms of meeting the task requirements. Town A is also more thoroughly analyzed than Town B. The analysis must be of equal length and discussion for both images otherwise a lower C + C score will be awarded. The reason being that one of the paragraphs is short in terms of analytical development and explanation. It must be pointed out that even though there are several score reduction reasons in the presentation, the writer still made a good effort in writing the report. He should get a better practice score in the future if he is guided properly during his review period.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. ## The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. ***Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.*** You should write at least 150 words. The given chart depicts how much attendance at movie theaters was in a particular European nation on several days in 2003, 2005 and 2007. At the first glance, withstanding various fluctuations, there was an ascending trend in the percentage of people attending theaters. Additonally, Saturday was the most preferred day, at which attracted the highest proportion of people, compared with others. Looking at the graph in more details, as far as Monday, Saturday and Sunday were concerned, they born resemblance in the tendency of proportion of attendance, with 10%, 40%, 30% in 2003; about 14%, 45%, nearly 34% in 2005; 12%, 42%, 32% in 2007 respectively. Turning to Tuesday and Thursday, starting at 20% and 23% in 2003 respectively, they experienced a steady decrease of 2% and 9% in 2007. However, in the end of the period, they scrambled again to 19%. Meanwhile, there was a significant drop in the amount of people going to cinemes on Wdenesday, going down from 16% in 2003 to 9% in 2007. In contrast, the ratio of attendance at theater on Friday remained unchanged, with 30% during the surveyed period. *

Remember that a chart is a general image reference/ identifier. As such, the chart type must be identified for accuracy purposes. This is a minimal oversight on the part of the writer. The summary overview and trending statement are still strong in terms of presentation requirements. Word of advice though, try not to say "particular European nation" since that is not referenced in the image. It is enough and more accurate to say; "a European country" instead. A general reference in the original should get a general rewording in the summary. The second paragraph is a GRA violation being a run-on sentence. All paragraphs requires 3-5 sentences to receive a scoring consideration. Never compress the information in one sentence because it is confusing to understand when read.

## The picture shows the process of glass recycling. Overall, the process comprises several stages, starting with the collection of used glass items, through different treatment steps, and ending with final products being delivered to the supermarkets or customers. At the beginning of the process, glass waste is collected at the collection points, after which it is transported by trucks to the factories to be recycled into usable products. Subsequently, the glass is cleaned using high pressurized water to remove all the dirty substances left to be ready for production. After being washed, it is classified into three different groups according to its color: brown, green, and clear. The process continues with the glass being melted in the high-temperature chamber until it becomes liquid form. Recycled liquid glass is then mixed with the new one, which is followed by the mixture being poured into a mold to get bottle shape of glass. Finally, the finished products are shipped to retailers and wholesalers for sale. *

The summary overview is too curt. It needs to be at least 2 interesting sentences long. It does not have a hook that would make the reader interested in what is being reported. It would help if the image identifier were more proper. While this is a picture, it is such a basic tum of no significance to the examiner. It shows a limited vocabulary. Why call ita mere picture when it would be more interesting to refer to an illustrative diagram, a drawn flow chart, or even a directional image? All of these alternative references would have been more marked than just a picture. The reporting paragraphs are well developed and shows control over a writing style. However, the same cannot be said for the trending statement. That run-on part could have used several sentence presentations to help with information sharing clarity.

## learning languages and translation applications Language translation software is becoming prevalent in modern world. Some people argue that it is more beneficial to use translation algorithm, while others hold skepticism about its benefits. This essay will look into both sides of the statement before my final conclusion is drawn. On the one hand, using language software derives numerous advantages, the most notable of which is the instant research. In other words, all translation tools today provide users with immediate answers, unlike learning the language on their own, which takes a whale of a time to accumulate knowledge. Therefore, they accelerate learners' studying process to a great extent. To illustrate, when travelling to another country, visitors may struggle in asking for directions due to lack of vocabulary. In this case, application application will become useful. On the other hand, I would argue that learning languages might be a noteworthy option for those seeking for job opportunities. Some high-paid occupations require applicants to be proficient in English, for example, not their ability to use translation algorithms. As a result, the more you fluent in the language, the higher job chances you will receive. Furthermore, depending on translation apps can also lead to a number of faults. Since these apps are just automatic and robot-based software, information can be mistaken in some circumstances. This will lead to faulty knowledge acquisition, which can not happen if learners spend time doing research while studying the languages themselves. In conclusion, both sides of this issue have indisputable aspects. Still, I am firmly convinced that it is better to learn languages due to its beneficial advantages that leaners cannot receive while using translation applications.

This essay may be written correctly in the eyes of the writer but, in the eyes of the examiner, the with has not properly formatted the essay. It is missing several key elements in it's presentation. The opinion statement cannot be given scoring consideration because the witter does not provide any actual direct opinion in relation to the given discussion. Where a clear and establishing opinion does not exist, no points can be given. Rather point deductions apply due to the lack of an establishing point of view platform. Being a written debate, the writer must present personal arguements that represent 2 aspects: 1. An analysis of why the public supports an opinion and why he does not support this view. 2. An explanation of a differing public opinion and why he supports it. In both instances public versus private reasoning comparisons must exist for the essay to be completely developed in terms of discussion considerations. This essay does not meet this requirement. Due to the undeveloped personal opinion in the last paragraph, the writer cannot be said to have closed the discussion. New discussion topics cannot be represented in the concluding summary. As the essay is s a properly formatted conclusion, it could very well receive an automatic failing score.

**Hello Reviewers, I want a LOR from my previous supervisor under whom I have done my one-year internship. As he was very busy these days, he asked me to prepare an initial draft and mail him a copy of this draft. Actually, I want a very formal & official tone in LOR and prepared some starting paragraphs. Please suggest me which is better and I know there are some corrections (in an overall sense, punctuations, etc., etc.), please correct them also. Consider this as a request from me.** ## LoR on behalf of Supervisor I am writing this reference at the request of Mr. XXX, who is applying for the YYY Program. I have known Mr. XXX for the past one and half year in my capacity as the Director at Technical Division of ZZZ Organisation. He has worked under my direct supervision as an Intern for one year and I therefore had ample opportunity to observe his motivation, personality and work ethic. **OR** I am writing this reference at the request of Mr. XXX, who is applying for the YYY Program. I have known Mr. XXX for the past one and half year in my capacity as the Director at Technical Division of ZZZ Organisation. As Mr. XXX's sole direct supervisor during his one-year internship at ZZZ Organisation, I had ample opportunity to observe his motivation, personality and work ethic.

There is very little difference in the tone of both opening paragraphs. These are actually more like clones of one another. Both carry a formal tone and almost cut and paste wording. One may opt to use one or the other with no marked difference nor content or tone considerations. It is merely the opening statement anyway so one need not put too much effort into it The actual review paragraphs are what truly matters. The only information that should be added is the name of the referee. Sadly the editing work you are requesting for do not come with the free review. You have to contact me privately for professional editing services. My contact details are listed below.

## the number of cases of diarrhea in Mashhad The diagram provides information about how many people contracted diarrhea in Mashhad throughout the period from 1983 to 1992. Overall, the number of people who suffer diarrhea in Mashhad had a tremendous fluctuation over nine years. Evidently, in the first two years of 1983 to 1984, the quality data of cases of diarrhea plateaued at 100 cases and rose slightly to reach about 110 cases in 1984. After that, there had a marked growth in 1986 when the number of cases was almost 65 cases higher than in the first two years. And then its doubled that of the first two years level out at 200 people in 1987. However, this upward trend dropped in 1988 to the same level as in 1983 and 1984. The year 1989 came with a dramatic increase peaking at just above 400 cases, but this was not to last as they dropped again. In 1990 and 1991, there had the same level of 350 cases and the number of cases plummeted dramatically in 1992. In conclusion, the number of cases at its highest in 1989 whereas the weakest figures could be observed in 1992.

The shortened presentation requires more work. It is extremely short and creates confusion for the reader. Image identification is incomplete and non-descriptive, leading to an unidentifiable reference point. Further information separation is needed in the paragraph to aid with information clarity. The writer must aim for proper information separation in the paragraph to create better TA and GRA scoring opportunities. The single image analysis is accompanied by a standard 3 paragraph presentation. This presentation does not follow the formatting requirements. The second paragraph should have separated analysis paragraphs. Related data should be grouped together in individual paragraphs. A task 1 essay does not require a conclusion since it does not require a concluding summary. That should not be a part of this report analysis. By the way a properly structured English sentence should never start with a conjunction. There is a sentence in this essay that starts with the conjunction "and".

## waste disposal in one european country The chart illustrates the amount of waste that was disposed of in landfill, burning, the dumping at sea and how they changed between 2005 and 2008 in a particular European country. Overall, it can be seen that while landfill was the main reason for waste disposal and burning was the least. However, the trend slowly reversed over the 3 - year period. The number of poison from landfill started at exactly 1800 million tonnes in 2005, after which it saw a significant decline to precisely 1200 in 2006 and then continued to drop habitually to the north of 900 in 2007 and the final amount was 600 million tonnes in 2008. By contrast, the figure for burners or fuels rose indefectly from just under 500 million tonnes in 2005 to approximately 900 million tonnes after 3 years. For the level of dumping at sea, it increased slightly from 600 to 650 million tonnes in 2006 before dropping gently to around 550 million tonnes in 2008. This was the only one which remained unchanged through the time. *

A clear summary presentation must be composed of individual information sentences. By definition, a sentence is composed of one idea presentation while a paragraph is the cumulative thought presentation of the individual sentences. That is why an academic paragraph is composed of 3-5 sentences each. Inability to present a paragraph in this specific form delivers the idea to the examiner that the writer does not know English writing rules and will result in a failing preliminary TA and GRA score. The writer must work on improving his sentence development skills. Additional confusion was created by the general image reference. It adds to the confusion of the leader who cannot create a mental picture of the given image since the exact image type is not identified. This added to the task inaccuracy and deductions. Overall, it can be seen that while landfill was the main reason for waste disposal and burning was the leas A reasoning sentence was provided but the actual topic or subject was not established. This is further proof on sentence structure unfamiliarity. The with must focus his future exercises on his sentence presentation exercises.

## the percentage of people in the different age group who went to the cinema From 1984 to 2000, the line graph depicts the proportion of people in the UK who went to the movies once a month, divided into four age groups. While attendance at the movies climbed considerably in all four age groups, 15-to-24-year-olds were the most frequent moviegoers over the time period studied. In 1984, around 18 percent of people aged 15 to 24 went to the movies once a month, the highest percentage of all age groups. The 7-14 age group and the 25-35 age group come in second and third, with 10% and 4% of the vote, respectively. Meanwhile, nearly no one over the age of 35 went to the movies. Over the next 16 years, the rate of attendance for all age groups progressively increased. By 2000, the proportion of those aged 15 to 24 had increased thrice, reaching a peak of about 60%, more than double the proportions for those aged 7 to 14 and those aged 25 to 35. The cinema, on the other hand, drew roughly 15% of moviegoers aged 35 and up at the conclusion of the era. *

Be careful with the use of tenses in the report. remember that the reference years have already passed. Therefore the use of present or current references will create grammar range deductions. Grammar scores are given based upon the obvious knowledge of the exam taker when it comes to sentence structure. This is reflectedin his ability to write grammatically correct sentences. A summary overview is considered incomplete when it does not include a listing rundown. In this case the 4 age group should be mentioned to create cohesiveness when the same is mentioned in the trending paragraph. The overview should contain at least 3 sentences. All paragraphs need to have 3 sentences at least. A 2 sentence presentation is not a complete paragraph. The examiner shall consider the paragraph under analyzed and under developed. It will not be considered coherent and cohesive enough for scoring.

*Question : **In the past, shopping is a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.*** ## To what extent do you agree that this is a positive trend? Essay: Shopping used to be a chore that people must do, but now it is accepted as a leisure activity that many people do in their free time. I totally disagree this trend can be beneficial because going shopping wastes one's time as well as money. One of the reasons, why I believe spending all of the spare time on strolling markets is not a good trend, is that spending free time on shopping once becomes habitual, it can take up one's plenty of personal time. Shopping usually takes longer than what people would have expected because people prefer to compare, before buying, the quality or the price of the same product from different shops. Visiting dithers stores one by one and barging with the shop keepers definitely take a long time, and the outcome of this is ending up spending two three hours for just to buy one item. A recent survey, for example, done by the World Leisure Organization shows that nowadays each person spends around 60 hours per month for shopping by average, namely the most of the spare time of a workingmen and women is used for buying stuff in malls or shopping centers. The other reason why I think it is not a positive trend to regard shopping as a hobby is that overly interested in shopping can cause unnecessary spending. People who like shopping are often the victims of those endless advertisements on new arrivals, new fashions or big offers. These people are likely to purchase and even stock up on items they don't even need at times, namely, money will be used in advance and those unnecessary things bought will expire or will be out of fashion before using, which means the money they spent on shopping is wasted. For instance, many bachelors in Shanghai City do shopping with friends as soon as they get free time, as a result almost every month they are tend to work for the credit-card repayment of previous month. In conclusion, obviously, going to shops for entertainment is waste of time and money, so I completely disagree to say it can be a positive change to consider shopping as a hobby.

The writer cannot use an opposing point of view in the development of the response. He was prevented from doing so by the prompt requirement that asks him for a clear measured agreement to the given statement. Therefore, the discussion using an opposing point of view will result in a failing score. Since he did not develop an essay based on the given discussion point, he cannot be given a passing score overall. As far as acceptable discussions go, he can only represent the positive aspect of shopping as a hobby. For example, by formatting his response as : *I agree that this is a positive trend to the extent that it promotes a healthy lifestyle by encouraging passive exercise and cardio- vascular strength.* Then using the 2 references in the discussion paragraphs. The current prompt will not allow the writer to disagree in any way. There is no allowance provided for such a response. The incorrect discussion format prevented the proper assessment of the writer's writing skills in terms of comprehension skills and related discussion development.

## Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life People think that advertisements are more likely to increase dramatically nowadays and become ubiquitous. Despite their advantages, they can have numerous disadvantages. It is undeniable that there is a considerable value in advertising. It is beneficial for companies to gain a large amount of money by dint of the large-scale expansion of advertising. People are more likely to be interested in noticeable billboards and commercials which raise their awareness about the products. For instance, after making a decorative poster, McDonald gained about 100,000,000 customers in 2006. Moreover, making a charismatic advertisement is a labour-intensive task and generates a diversity of employment opportunities. It demands the labour of artists, designers, painters and copywriters to create logos, content and ideas. Therefore, advertising helps government reduce the unemployment rate. Even though advertising can bring several benefits, its drawbacks should be carefully considered. Nowadays, governments are struggling to solve visual pollution due to the giant billboards and posters. Because of this, visitors can not contemplate the panoramic view. This problem can impact tourism negatively. Vinh Ha Long in Vietnam decreased by approximately 100,000 tourists each year is an obvious example. Advertising not only demolishes the beauty of natural scenery but also makes companies and organizations spend a considerable amount of money on it. Due to this, more products and services tend to have a higher cost, so we have to pay more money for them, especially for the poor in developing countries. This trend can lead to inflation. In conclusion, although advertisements have some pros, their cons are serious problems. All we have to do is minimize their difficulties and carry out the benefits.

The essay that has been written does not meet the discussion requirement. The current presentation uses an advantage V. disadvantage discussion when the requirement was to discuss (one of the 2) whether it is a positive or negative development. There is a clear lack of instruction comprehension/ understanding of how the essay was to be discussed. This led to the writer being unable to deliver a personal opinion based on the writing requirement. The response format does not answer the question properly. It was not understood by the exam taker. Therefore the task response is inaccurate. The original question required a comparative discussion of 2 reasons in the body paragraphs to be outlined as a debate. After opting for either a positive or negative opinion (choose 1), the paragraph format should have been: Sentence 1: Subject topic Sentence 2: Reason it is believed to be a positive/ negative result Sentence 3: Writer's opinion should be in support or not in support of the public opinion Sentence 4: Writer's reason for his opinion Sentence 5: Example or transition sentence The writers opinion must be cohesive across both paragraph presentations in support of his single opinion. He must not use an A V. D discussion format. That said, the failing score will have points credited for lexical resource and grammar range as there are not related to the topic for discussion directly. These points cannot lead to a passing score since the TA and C + C marks, which relate directly to the question are failing. These 2 sections cannot merit a passing score because the discussion provided is unrelated to the question being asked in the original prompt.

## Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university to work or travel Nowadays, some people believe that freshmans are likely to defer university enrollment to enrich life experiences. In this essay, i will scrutinize this phenomenon. There are many reasons bring a lot of benefits for students which lead to teenagers have a year-long break such as pursuing their dreams, travelling or learning something interesting. Firstly, people who delay tertiary education for travelling could be hone practical skills and discover new experiences by attending some mystery adventure tours or journeys . For instance, when we had a adventure tour in the woods, there were not too many favorable conditions for daily activities like cooking or washing. At that time, we obligatorily learnt to strike fire from two pieces of flint for cooking and collect water from river for washing. In addition, finding a job which is one of the most prominent reasons to enable students to be inadequate career guidance. The pupils who have not orientation of career in the future could try different jobs and then choosing the possible occupation for themselves. Taking a gap year is getting more and more popular in the education, however, we can not deny that this phenomenon has existed many drawbacks. The foremost disadvantage that has been more parental attention is gap-year takers could be falled behind with their classmates. If the students defer university enrollment for a long haul, they will not have no reason to practice academic skills and then they may lose momentum from graduation. As a result, students to be not passionate in studying and gain low grades. Moreover, if within a pretty of graduate and no brilliant, the graduated students just find out jobs which are only entry level and receive a low salary. In conclusion, taking gap year which is getting more and more popular around the world has a lot of advantages for students. Nevertheless, we can not deny the existence of drawbacks of this phenomenon that seriously affect to the students as well as the education.

The immediate error in this presentation is the lack of proper paraphrasing of the original topic. The representation is incomplete when compared to the orginal. A lack of establishing opinion and reasoning topics have also helped create a failing opening score. The reasons relating to the disadvantage or advantage should have been immediately established in response to the direct question. The establishing response format was not achieved by the writer. In terms of discussion response, the writer was not asked to provide a personal opinion so this should have been avoided in the presentation. This is not a comparison + personal opinion presentation. By trying to influence the opinion of the reader with his own in the concluding paragraph, the writer inadvertently wrote an open ended essay which will result in a failing score due to a lack of proper concluding summary.

## the percentage of volunteers by organizations - IELTS 1 The pie charts illustrate how many a person who takes part in organizations voluntarily in 2008 and 2014. Overall, there was a significant increase in the proportion of volunteers in the environment, sport, and health care while the percentage of people who had non-profit jobs in art, education, and others decreased at the end period. The number of volunteers working in the environment sector started at 21%, which after it experienced a considerable growth to 29% in 2014. While volunteer trend can be seen in the art, reduced from 18% to 12%, worker in sports sector rise between 15% and 25% over the period. 7% of people worked in non-profit heathy care organizations in 2008, with a slight climb to 8% in 2010. Conversely, the figure for a person in educational organization and others who did a job without being paid for it was 24% and 15%, followed by a drop of 17% and 9%, respectively in 2014. *

The overall word count for this essay is too short to accurately reflect the writer's reporting skills. Full marks cannot be considered for each subic section when less than 175 words are written. 158 words reflects that the writer did not really take the time to study the images. He merely glanced at it and hurriedly wrote it up. He must learn proper time management in relation to developing an analytical report. That way he can maximize his scoring potential. Offering the number of images specifically will help add exceptional clarity to the summary paragraph. Even if the years indicated infer the number of images, points will not be lost if the writer does his best to use all marked information in that section. It can only increase the score. There is a bit of information reference confusion in the trending statement One must specifically mention "at the start of the period" prior to referencing "at the end of the period" to properly represent the measurement schedule overview. Review the images in chronological order /as presented in the original report. Do not change the order because it will confuse the reader when considering information clarity.

**Topic:** ***The graph illustrates the number of Chinese, Japanese and Indian students who enrolled at North Dean University over a five-year period.*** ## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The chart compares the proportion of students who come from China, Japan and India enrolled at North Dean University from 1999 to 2003. Overall, there was an increase in the number of Chinese and India students, while a dramatic decline was seen in the Japanese student enrollment numbers. At the start of the period, Japan had the most number of students, with over 100 students, while the figures for Chinese and Indian students was much lower, at around 20 students. The amount of Japanese student enrollment numbers started at 110, after which it experienced a sharp drop to 40 in 2001, before ending the period at 30. Opposite changes can be seen in the figures for Chinese and Indian student numbers. About 18 Indian students enrolled the university in 1999, with subsequent increase to 80 in the final year. Similarly, the figures for Chinese student enrollments had risen to 50 in 2002, before reaching a peak of about 95 in the end of the period. *

The word "enrolled" should be presented in an alternate form. Not a single word from the original presentation should be found in the reworded version as this will still be seen as a cut and paste from the ouginal. As a "chart"is a general image reference, the revised image type is now incorrect. The addition of the word "line" prior to "chart" would have been the correct alternative identification. The overview statement should have been merged into the summary paragraph as that is still apart of the short report form / summary reference. The 3 paragraph requirement for a single image report was not met. The opposing report section, being an indicator of a different reporting aspect should have been a separate paragraph reference. Differing report information, clearly not connected to the first idea should have an individually highlighted presentation.

## women's decision of marrying or not In today's world, it is a ubiquitous propensity among women that they choose to live alone and delay their engagements. Some people attribute this situation to their strong financial capability but I firmly disapprove of them. There are several reasons that can explain why marriage still performs an indispensable service in females' lives. First and foremost, families have a meaningful role in maintaining fertility. They help prevent the issue of an aging population as well as assure the labor sources, which are pressing concerns nowadays in the world. For instance, Japan today has to face a problematic trend is that there are more and more the young select to celibate. That leads to the severe deficiency of workers and the low speed of economic growth.As a result, various sectors of this nation have to rely on migrant employees for fulfilling the job market requirements. Besides, tremendous happiness can be brought to a spouse once they start a married life. Additionally, it is irrefutable that men and women are equal at work places and women possess increasingly high salaries. This acts as an efficient method for them to shoulder the serious financial burden with their husbands as well as improve families' living standard. Last but not least, a huge amount of sentimental value is vividly offered by families. When living with loved ones, women stand golden chances of being given much affection, sharing joy together with sadness, and getting rid of lonely feelings. In conclusion, marrying or not is the own decision of each woman but it is essential to consider thoroughly as it has enormous effects on their entire life.

Do not overstate the opinion presentation by using an emotional response. This is not an extent response essay. Use the suggested response format at all times. Show that the discussion instruction was understood by limiting the response to the required format. The first sentence of the prompt restatement does not reflect the orginal discussion points accurately. Scoring deductions will apply for the unrelated discussion topic. These sorts of information will not be deducted if included as a part of the opinion reasoning presentation. The presentation requires a 4 paragraph presentation. Further deductions will be added due to the incorrect paragraphing format. Though the discussion will be awarded points based on relevance, correct paragraph formatting, as a scoring requirement was not followed.

***Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some individuals believe that requirement in the average age of seniors retiring from work ought to be increased due to their long life expectancy. I completely agree with this view that elderly people should spend more time doing their job before retiring. On the one hand, it will cause a variety of inexorable results to regard in the nation's economy because of the funding which expenditures for healthcare insurance, and pensions. This is because the longevity of inhabitants grows sharply and their requirement for retirement also rises so the government must spend money investing in a large number of aspects such as the construction of the nursing homes or state-of-the-art facilities for the healthcare system. However, adults are also affected due to their money spent on taxes for the nation's budget. For instance, Germany is an ageing population country so they consumed plenty of funding on equipment or support for those retired people. Moreover, unless rising the average age work, a serious lack of workforce can result from the increase in the retirement of elderly people. If the rate of natural increase plummets whereas the rate of elderly seniors who are retired climbs up, an economic crisis can be caused due to a lack of employment, especially among adults. In Japan, because of their problem with the ageing population resulting in labour shortage and the most efficient solution are to raise the age in work and labour lease from other countries, particularly some developing nations such as Vietnam, Laos. In conclusion, I believe that raising the average age in work is a compulsory task for almost nations to solute problems related to the ageing population and avoid some catastrophic results from it. This is the first time I have posted my essay. I am looking forward to your feedback on how I can improve my writing.

The writer did an almost excellent job in the prompt restatement and personal opinion. The topic presentation uses enough synonyms to not be mistaken for a cut and paste interpretation. The opinion is properly targeted but iesses out on presenting the 2 reasoning topics as a part of the supporting opinion basis. That is the discussion outline that would have helped set the scoring tone of the discussion. Another problem is that the writer used a comparative discussion for a single opinion essay. An incorrect response format since the discussion requirement only needs to justify the writer's opinion. Since there was no comparative discussion instruction provided, the discussion should not have been approached in that manner. The irrelevant discussion paragraph will not be part of the scoring consideration. It will prevent an otherwise well presented opinion from receiving a passing score since the idea development for the supporting view is considered incomplete.Full scores can only be awarded to non-prompt discussion deviant essays. When half of a 282 worded essay is non- compliant, it risks a failing score due to cohesive discussion considerations based on the prompt discussion instructions. Learn the difference between comparative and single opinion task instructions. Examples may be found at this forum for free.

## Write an essay on the positive or negative effects of science on the food we eat. Nowadays, people spend more attention on eating. Additionally, professors and experts also say that if you have a balanced diet, you can easily maintain your health. Therefore, I believe that the amount of food we eat today has lots of positive scientific effects. Scientists have been contributing to us much useful knowledge about food. Some experts establish books and receipts to share the valuation of food which they studied. For instant, a professor said that drinking a glass of milk every day can help us prevent rickets, obesity and provide calcium as well as vitamins to our body. Besides that, their books also give us some kinds of balanced diets for different types of people such as children, adults or elders. Following these books, we can bring many benefits to our bodies. Experts not only show us some benefits of food but they also give us some ways to cook food. In the receipts, they brief us on how to combine different kinds of food or spices to make us healthier. The receipt wrote that turmeric can help us prevent stomach diseases while salmon's protein and Omega-3 fatty acid can protect our nervous system. It is such a wonderful combination of both turmeric and salmon that can help us improve cardiac healthy and block bad cholesterol. Scientists and experts try their best to research different benefits of food and study how can reserve their nutrition after cooking. As a result, their achievements support us in having knowledge about food, the ways it affects our body and how to combine it well. In conclusion, the food we eat influences to our body in positive ways, especially in scientific effects. The more knowledge we have, the healthier we will.

has lots of This is not an academic sounding phrase. Since the writer is practicing to write academic papers, informal English words should be avoided. " Lots" should instead refer to "several" instead. The latter being the academic and formal equivalent of the word. Word usage is an issue in this essay. Incorrect references were used at certain points in the essay: instant= instance healthy- health These are a few of incorrect word usage with corresponding corrections. It is clear that the writer knows what meaning he wants to convey in English, but has limited vocabulary skills in relation to his intentions. Further development of his vocabulary is necessary. These can be done specifically through fill in the blanks sentence completion exercises. Avoid the use of archaic English words to avoid confusing the readers. Use everyday modern English vocabulary. Receipts will be better understood as recipes these days.

## eating habits of people in vietnam Vietnamese eating wonts are very important and people are often serious about how they enjoy their meals. Up to now, the eating habits of Vietnamese people also have some differences. Both past and present Vietnamese habits have a distinct community character. During the meal, each member has a separate bowl but all dishes are shared and served on the same tray. Vietnamese people often use chopsticks in meals. A pair of chopsticks is a miraculous eating tool that can replace many other tools such as forks, spoons, and knives,... because of its flexibility. A long time ago, in traditional meals, Vietnamese people had a custom called "eat-calling". It was just a short speech from children to other members which expressed their politeness and respect for the older in the family. Additionally, in standard traditional meals, people paid special attention to eating speed. If you eat too fast or too low, it will reflect whether you are good or bad. In modern days, eating is very comfortable and convenient, it is changed to suitable with the new age. Today, people are more open-minded, comfortable and positive in eating habits. They reject some rules to make members feel relax and sastify in the meals. Besides that, everyone is often busy and they don't have enough time to enjoy a standard meal. So, they eat something both delicious and quickly cooked like hamburgers, pizzas or packed food. In conclusion, eating habits nowadays have lots of changes. Traditional meals are formal and serious while modern meals are more comfortable.

It is incorrect to use 2 successive punctuation marks. One cannot use a comma and ellipses successively, or any other punctuation marks for that matter. Each punctuation mark used must be followed by a word or thought presentation before another punctuation mark of any sort can be used. The writer should also know when and when not to use punctuation marks. Improper punctuation usage affects the quality of writing and the clarity of the paragraph. The essay contains spelling mistakes, incorrect tense usage, and missing verbs. Attention must be paid and extra studies should be undertaken to improve the sentence development/presentation abilities of the writer. When the content of the essay is considered, one would have to admit that the topic is well explained despite the existing grammar errors. Further exercises should allow for improved sentence structure presentations.

*Topic: **Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds.*** ## Do you agree or disagree about this opinion? Answer: The majority of people consider that too much money has been used in conserving wild animals and birds, which also attract a great amount of attention from the public. I agree entirely with this statement as it is crucial for us to pay attention and budget to maintain the wildlife ecosystem. To begin with, it is such reasonable funding to protect wild animals since it greatly prevents the loss of biodiversity. Due to the fact that, there are plenty of mass extinctions throughout the development of humankind that are caused by human activities, such as the process of industrialization, urbanization and population growth. This problem is often neglected since to satisfy the demands of living standards, the authorities only focus on other urgent problems that bring them short-term profitably effects. Meanwhile, wild animals could be on verge of extinction, but very few actions have been done to respond to this issue. Having made more efforts to preserve these kinds of species as they play a key role in maintaining biodiversity. Being fully aware of protecting wild animals and birds might help us sustain our natural ecosystem. Furthermore, having given such a large amount of money can support authorities to raise awareness of protecting wild animals. In the past, overhunting and exotic animal trade tended to be common, leading to the loss of several exotic species. However, attributing this to the efforts of the public and government, this tendency has decreased significantly. Thanks to this, humankind has been given a wake to their general ignorance in the past. Having been aware of these serious detriments, the government has funded an enormous budget to contribute to preserve the wild animals. To sum up, it is acceptable that the government spends such mass funding to bring us sustainable biodiversity and also encourages us to have a full awareness in conserving wildlife.

Do not overemphasize the opinion presentation unless asked to do so in an extent essay. Always ensure that the writer's opinion is presented in the format as required by the discussion instruction. So, where "to what extent" is not specified, a simple dis/agreement with the opinion will be more than sufficient to establish the writer's opinion. The reasoning statement to support the writer's opinion is very good though. It truly establishes the discussion focus of the next paragraphs. The first reasoning paragraph deviated from the original discussion point for the most part. The discussion about the importance of biodiversity maintenance brought the discussion back on track though. Try not to discuss irrelevant subjects that unreasonably lengthen the presentation. Stay on point. Keep the examiner interested by focusing in relevant points throughout the discussion. This was successfully accomplished in the second reasoning paragraph. When writing the concluding summary, always use a reverse paraphrase. This is a presentation that should number at least 40 words over 2 sentence or more. The current conclusion does not meet this scoring requirement.

**Topic:** ***Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on more important subjects.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. It is true that people believe students should know the science of food and the way to prepare it, while others hold the conflicting view that students should focus on vital subjects. In my opinion, food science and preparation are necessary knowledge students should be taught in schools. On the one hand, students study many subjects in school that is essential to academic knowledge and lifestyle. Firstly, it is impossible to put more subjects in students' timetable because there is a lot of crucial subjects which student must study every day. If students have to study lots of time, they can be under a lot of stress and be less energetic because of cutting off their spare time. Secondly, some difficult subjects required students to spend more time studying. For example, subjects in the aspect of Natural Science are complicated to study within a short period and they provide fundamental knowledge of engineering careers. On the other hand, I believe that science of food and diet should be considered as important as other subjects in school. First of all, knowledge of food science can help students build up their immune systems and remove fast food from their diet. Another reason is food preparation is one of the survival skills that must be armed by students. For instance, if students know cooking skills, they can easily prepare healthy homemade food by themselves rather than consuming junk food in each meal. In conclusion, although the school timetable is crowded, I agree with the opinion that students should spend time studying food science and preparation.

This is nota true or false discussion. There is no need to claim that one point of view is true, even as an opposing view exists. Suck unsupported claims will result in point deductions in the rephrasing score since it changes the original discussion basis. Never add information in this section. It negatively affects the score. The writer's opinion is as expected though so no deductions there. The exam taker has incorrect sentence presentations within the paragraphs. He shows unfamiliarity with the grammar rules related to singular v. plural word choices. GRA deductions will apply. The discussion is incomplete. The public point of view for the 2 presented ideas should precede the personal opinion. There should be 3 paragraphs present for the discussion. The overall score will be based on an underdeveloped presentation.

## When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration In this era, money has inevitably been the most essential component. One's life depends on the ultimate job he/she is choosing and while choosing the job there are certain factors to look out for including: salary, interest, environment and passion. Yet, the abrupt inflation has ultimately engender the fondness of income rather than love for passion. To begin with, environment should be a top notch priority to every individual while choosing a job. As a matter of fact, surrounding truly influence one's personality, mindset, future and behavior. The ambiance of the workplace, the colleagues, and a good team is also notably significant because it is easy for an individual to work in a safe place. To illustrate, spending hours at a place which impacts your mindset negatively through unnecessary pressure directly results in pessimistic behavior eventually leading onto negative thoughts. Likewise, it invokes a sense of animosity amongst different aspect of life with all means and measures. Hence, running behind the income only is the most absurd act. Secondly, the dispute about choosing job revolves around either focusing on money or passion. Mostly people concurs that passion should be the salient consideration while choosing a job because it embraces the hidden talents and interests. Moreover, following passion will never make one regret about his/her decision since it might develop myriad of positive outcomes; for instance, it gives exposure to different situation, new innovative ideas are born, one can explore one's interest, the more you are into your passion the more efforts you would love to put in, which consequently will cause in optimistic results. As a matter of fact, today's generation venerates the amount of payment, yet all things considered the money is indeed necessary but not the most important thing. Personal satisfaction and convenience about the job is also important. To cite an example, if a person who is a doctor with a handsome salary but he is restricted to explore his skill will never be able to enjoy his job and work on his experience which will eventually engenders the dissatisfaction. Therefore, personal satisfaction is also necessary. Additionally, the career prospect and the company's name is also a notable feature. Working in the area consisting of no future advantage might be completely useless compared with working in a company which have a value in the future fields. To sum up, while considering a job one's passion, personal satisfaction and ambiance outweighs money because passion embraces an individual's talent and interest, personal satisfaction make a person more eager to work in an environment and last but not least ambiance makes one comfortable and enthusiastic to work with good colleagues.

This essay has several problems that will lead to a failing score. The first of which is the over discussion by 140 words. The task 2 essay should never be more than 300 words long. Long essays make too many writing errors noticeable in the presentation. Which is why moderate length essays work better. There is a lesser chance of too many heavy scoring deductions. Let us focus on the second reason this is a failing essay. The prompt restatement + writer's opinion paragraph. It is completely missing from the presentation. Yes,a topic was discussed in the presentation but, it is not on topic. Yes, an opinion was presented but it was not provided in the correct or expected discussion format. The with wasted his time and effort with this writing. It does not meet the needed scoring requirements.

## community should be based on the regulations To this day, society is still in control of its order, so civilians do not allow to do everything they want. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement. To begin with, what holds the most significant part is the government's authority to remain in our peaceful and protected life. The number of crimes would increase if there weren't any governance. For instant, according to New York Times, the robbery rates in Brazil decreased by 56 per cent after crime prevention was launched in 2000 by the politician. The improvement of the environment is also noteworthy in consideration due to the environmental rules. Obviously, when these stipulations were declared, people were likely to have enough awareness about our nature. Moreover, we find it easier to encourage civilians to go green. For example, as claimed by BBC News, the number of deforestation was reduced by 34 per cent in Russia in 1998 thanks to campaigns which prevented soil erosion. In conclusion, I strongly believe that our community should be based on the regulations which create limitations for individuals.

The prompt restatement totally messes the point. When the mention of "rule of law" was committed in the rewording, the writer created a totally different topic presentation. The lack of proper topic presentation has made the writer's . baseless, confusing, and weak. The writer cannot get a passing score because of the automatic failing grade the essay will receive. He severely underwrote the essay at only 180/250 words. Since word count deductions will apply overall, the preliminary score will be failing. The reason this happened is because of the rushed and little developed discussion paragraphs. He should have expanded on the discussion statements made rather than abruptly ending the paragraph, without additional explanations or justifications.He would have at least received partial scores for meeting the word requirement even if the discussion is irrelevant.

***Topic: ## today, there are more men's than women's sports on TV. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women's and men's sports?*** These days, most games played by male players draw more attention from the public on television channels than that of women. Chief of this is attributed to several reasons, and I believe that the television coverage of female sports should be provided as much as that of men's sporting events. There are some factors contributing to the phenomenon that the showtime of male sports dominates that of women's games. First, men's sports draw more attention of viewers than women's can, so TV broadcasters will earn large profits if they provide massive coverage of men's competitions. For instance, the matches of the Vietnam men's football team seem to receive the full attention of the public all the time, allowing TV channels to make off money from advertising and television rights. In addition, male athletes could perform with a higher degree of competence and extreme severity than their female counterparts. As a result, people are more likely to find men's sports enjoyable to watch. Take boxing as a typical example, this sport attracts a large number of viewers due to its aggressiveness and formidable fighters. However, I would argue that there should be the equal time of television coverage for both sides. Chief of this is because it could increase gender equality in society. This is predicated on the assumption that women could not be discriminated against if they received the great recognition from TV coverage as men. Consequently, the equality serves as a stimulus for more women to partcipate in sports and make brilliant success, which will help women to win more respect of the public. Furthermore, the more attention of television broadcasters on women would help them get more advertising contracts and sponsorship investments. For example, Anh Vien, an previously unknown female swimmer, has shot to fame and then made major deals with endorsers and brands thanks to her remarkable achievement at Asiad 20, which was viewed to many audiences through television. In conclusion, a huge profit and a better level of performance from men's matches are the reasons TV broadcasters do not give more attention to women's sports than men's, and I am of the opinion that the equal coverage of TV channels should be given to both men's and women's sports.

Good topic restatement. It shows a good English comprehension skill. I wish that this skill in English thinking was further displayed in his ability to directly respond to the given questions. He failed to establish his clear opinion as based upon his 2 personal insights. There was also a sentence formation error in his , statement as it was merged with the non-response idea presentation. This should have been a stand alone sentence presentation since it represents a different question response. The first reasoning paragraph lacks a proper comparative discussion. A profit margin or viewership comparison between the 2 gender sports viewership would have better supported the writer's assumptions. This should have been done because the writer referenced "female counterparts" in the paragraph. There is a tendency for the writer to over and under discussing his paragraphs. He must learn to complete his presentation paragraph in 5 sentences at the most.

## Whether changing is a good thing remains controversy. ***Some people claim that doing the same things is a way to keep a good habits, whearas some hold onto that changing trains our creativity. This following essay is going to dissect both aspects of this issue.*** On the one hand, people keep doing the similar things through times because they love familiar situations and can't stand the changes. Phsychologically, they feel comfortable and easy dealing with situations which they seem to be sure that they are good at them. The dark side of this habit is, in some circumstances, it is passive to do the same things everyday. People have less ability to cope with sudden events. On the other hand, changing is one of the top tips to practice our mindset as well as improve the creativity and how we react to different conditions, educationally. In terms of finance, sometimes changing is a waste of budget. Let's take travelling as an stark example. While we normally drive our cars to work on the same street everyday, it's pricey to take a train one day just for the difference. However, we have new interesting experience which can even enhance our mood for the whole day. Generally speaking, in my point of view, whether changing is good or not depends on each personal favouritism. We can consider it as a healthy lifestyle as long as it's appropriate with our life and our characteristics.

The original prompt does not indicate any controversy surrounding the given topic. This is an unwarranted exageration that altered the perception of the topic. This will be a deduction for this paragraph. Food job in the actual restatements though. The way a premise was provided for each point of view to help highlight the reasoning paragraphs was a nice touch that will surely be rewarded, regardless of deductions. A problem arose in the discussion paragraphs though. The writer used the correct third person group pronouns in the first public discussion but did not do the same in the next one. He used first person pronouns too early in the presentation. This led to incorrect discussion formats in the next 2 paragraphs. The lack of a proper concluding summary has left this essay open-ended. Such an error in the presentation normally results in an immediate overall failing score. The with has a good approach to discussion writing. He just needs to correctly format it next time. This wasa good but non-passing effort.

## horizontal vs vertical city It is argued that living in a horizontal city is the best option, but others tend to live in a vertical city. This essay discusses both sides of this argument and why I partially favor with the latter option. On the one hand, the option of living in a horizontal city is beneficial in some ways. Firstly, people can pay fewer fees for building services. For instance, people do not need to spend on security services or rent. It will save a huge amount of money each month. Secondly, living or working lower to the ground helps people be saved. In some situations, like a fire, people living in high buildings can not only be in danger when they breathe in carbon dioxide but also have difficulty running out of the building. In contrast, this can be solved by a horizontal city. On the other hand, I believe that living or working in a high-rise building is outweighed by its advantages. There are two reasons for my perspective. One of the most important causes is that a vertical city provides more space for people to use. The population is increasing steadily every year, especially in urban areas. Hence, people do not have enough places to live or work. High buildings are a good solution to this problem. Furthermore, people can be provided various services. Indeed, people and their private stuff, like transport or accommodation facilities, can be protected by the security of the building. People can feel safe when they get out of their place, facilitating the development of life quality. In conclusion, it seems evident that both living or working lower to the ground and in high buildings have their own unique advantages. Personally, however, i strongly believe that living in a vertical city is way better.

Give a clear reason why you support the latter opinion in your personal point of view statement. By adding your personal reason or supporting reason, an additional clarification sentence will be provided. This adds to the strength of the first paragraph and increases the kick-off score. Always provide atleast 3 clear sentences in this paragraph. Note that the discussion asks for 3 paragraph discussion propositions (Discuss both views + personal opinion) but the writer only provides 2 of these topics from a personal point of view rather than comparative public reasoning V. personal viewpoint. The reasoning provided is incomplete in focus. The essay lacks proper topic development. This will lead to a lower than passing score since the required discussion format is not properly presented to the examiner.

## A reflection essay about crowds effect In today's modern society, when information technology develops, it is easier for us to access information, and it is easier for us to get caught up in the crowd's thinking. Humans are social creatures. They will have collective behavior like all elementary school students going to school at 7 am. Collective behavior is essential in a population of social organisms, especially humans, when we live in social relationships such as family, friends, colleagues, etc. In some cases, when we are in an argument or a choice without enough information, we will usually trust the crowd more. People living in society should always be affected and governed by the general and majority laws. Due to the mentality of taming the crowd or of easily fitting in with the group, the thought "the majority is always right." Usually, mob syndrome is a behavior that does little or no harm and often causes negative effects. extremes in society, but if affected by emotions, the reaction and consequences will be different. For example, when you see people gathering in a restaurant to queue up to buy things, you will be curious and you may also become one of them because of the thought: "Many people buy food, so make sure the food is yummy." This is when the crowd is swayed by curiosity, and this does not harm. But in some schools, if the crowd takes in misinformation and follows others like sheep with negative emotions like anger or fear, the consequences can be unpredictable. If in the example above, maybe the food is not as good as you expected, the result is that you will be disappointed and never buy food at that store again. But what if the crowd is affected by negative emotions like anger or fear? There was an accident that just happened in Vietnam when a kind person came to help the victim but was misunderstood by the family as the cause of the accident, so the victim's family shouted for people to come round and arrest him. and brutally beaten, people just follow the majority and don't care about the actual situation. So at the end, who will be responsible for the victim? with a relaxed, free mentality, without fear of being punished by the law simply because "there are too many people who act like me, who will be punished"? or with the mentality of "it's all just a misunderstanding/who in the world" (my case) will do the same. According to Le Bon's theory, when In a crowd, we are nameless and faceless, and this allows us to act emotionally and irrationally different from ordinary people when we hide our faces. This primitive follows a "mask" of civilized behavior. Today, most sociologists do not agree with Le Bon's simple interpretation but rather believe in a position in norm theory, namely that members develop a new norm on their own. It will be easy to get the crowd to conform to that norm. For example, a group of parents believes that giving their children extra lessons will help them learn better and have more knowledge because everyone gives their children extra lessons. There may be some parents who can't afford to send their children to school, but because they don't want to be different or let their children lose to others, they still try to let them study with their friends. The strength of the collection combined with the obedience of each individual has created a mentality that must be in harmony with the crowd. It is from that mentality that the individual will rationalize or convince himself to agree with the majority and create a mentality of submission to the crowd.

This is actually a paper about group social behavior rather than crowd behavior. The title of the paper maybe an incorrect reflection of the discussion. There is a possibility it will need to be replaced. More sectional discussions need to be developed. The first paragraph is too long. It also does not retain only a single discussion idea asa paragraph is expected to represent. The topics discussed need standalone sections to allow for a clearer explanation development. Transition sentences that should help with the cohesiveness of the presentation seem to be absent. The lack of which cause choppy and disconnected paragraphs. sentence presentation improvements are also warranted in several areas of the research. Proofreading for grammar requirements should also be accomplished to smoothen the research opinion presentation.

## Many foods are shipped from far away. ***Some people think that eating local foods is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?*** Various categories of foods are transported overseas, while a few individuals opine that consuming their regional food is not harmful to the environment and gain financial benefits. Despite some obvious cons of this trend, I believe that these are outweighed by the pros. On the one hand, there are a number of major drawbacks when consuming a wide range of local foods. The first drawback is that customers will be more fastidious because of the popularity of local flavor dishes. As a result, the food and beverage industry will face challenges in satisfying their local customers like changing the recipe, and ingredients,... it also means that this action will take time, and money also. On the other hand, I believe that the benefits are more significant than such drawbacks. there are several major benefits when consuming inter foods. The first advantage is that consumers can stimulate their nation's economy and save a budget that spending on food. This is because the price of local foods is always affordable due to the common ingredients of their country, and by purchasing a product of a restaurant, the customers are likely to create a working environment and raise income for the workers. The second reason is that consuming local foods is likely a solution to protect the environment. To be specific, it is clear that we can reduce the emissions from transportation like airplanes, ships, and railways,... due to their people's needs. In conclusion, I would argue that the appearance of local foods brings more benefits than drawbacks.

The opening sentence presents an opposite meaning from what the writer actually meant. The sentence indicates that the country exports food. He wanted to relate it to importation of food. This error shows that the writer is not used to thinking and writing in English. His LR problem is evident in the wong sentence implication. The second sentence is a hanging one as it does not have a fully developed thought process. It is indicative of a lack of sentence structure control. The writer needs to perfect his sentence writing abilities and develop correct vocabulary usage simultaneously. The only part he got right is the opinion response. That does not mean the essay will get a passing score though. Far from it. His discussion fformat is not correct either He is using a comparative discussion where the required format is a single opinion, 2 supporting reason paragraph. The non-writer opinion supporting paragraph will not be scored. The essay is going to be considered under-developed and will not receive a passing score. There are more problems visible in this essay that will cause a failing overall score. As this in the writer's first attempt, he cannot be expected to produce a passing score essay yet. He should be closer to a passing score, if notpassing already with his next test.

## The ancient outlooks The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful and prepare younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Nowadays, globalization and technology development have changed almost every aspect of human life. As a result, it can be adopted that some traditional values are no longer accepted with the lifestyles of youngsters. While I agree that certain traditional ideas are outdated, I still believe that those views are still useful even in modern life. On the one hand, some of the ideas of older generations about lifestyle and human behaviors are becoming less suitable for youngsters. To cite an example, old people advised to have stability in working and marriage, those are considered as a success in life according to them. Meanwhile, younger generations have a tendency to choose freelance employment , which offers flexible workload and freedom of workspace. At the same time, being-single culture is becoming the measure of success instead of getting married. Additionally, the difference of - in social responsibility between two generations can be seen clearly in gender. Females are excelling in every profession such as politics, economy and medicine,etc.The traditional roles of men as breadwinners and women as housewives are not the case anymore. On the other hand, saving money and contingency costs are always the truth advised by the older generations. Opposed to the YOLO lifestyle of young people, the saving budgets can solve the emergency situations in human life. This viewpoint will be illustrated by Covid-19 disease, which affects the global finance and economy by joblessness, social distancing and the rise of medicine spendings. Meanwhile, almost all youngsters are getting into debt because of their overspending, the older people still overcome the disease without the lack of budget. As a result, financial safety is the traditional idea that should be maintained in this modern life. In conclusion, some of the ancient outlooks are becoming irrelevant in this new era. In spite of that, many traditional ideas still stand true, and should be kept, practiced by young generations.

There are 2 opposing points of view in the original prompt that refer to specific groups. These groups must be identified as a part of the prompt restatement. These missing references make the rewording unacceptable. It changed the discussion topic source but retained a portion of the theme. Meanwhile, the writer's opinion is not properly formatted and does not correctly answer the question provided. The extent response in not represented. The response preview further heightens the prompt disconnection of the paraphrasing to the point of a preliminary failing score. There are also GRA problems in relation to dash (-) usage. This seems to be one of the writer's favorite punctuation marks, but heis not familiar with when to (not) use it: 1. Use to join independent clauses 2. Indicate non-essential information 3. Offset sentence lists 4. Create sentence emphasis The dashes were not used in the above indicated scenarios and are therefore, punctuation errors. The use of the YOLO reference without a translation for the reader makes it confusing to read for people not familiar with modern English parlance. Always give the acronym meaning first and place the acronym in a parenthesis.

***Some people believe that technology has made life lazy and lethargic while proponents argue that it has made life easy and active.*** ## Discuss both sides and give your mild opinion. Technology has become the essential part of everybody life. Almost everyone has become accustomed to its advantages and efficiency. It is evident that technology has made man's life efficient and less laborious. There is no field in life which has not been benefited from technology, be it science, medicine, electronics or art etc. In science, the advance methods of procedures such as laser and chemotherapy; In electronics, the new AI devices, In IT, social media apps such as Instagram and Facebook really opened new doors for communication and entertainment. From the fans on our heads to the mobile phones in our hands, all became possible thanks to the ever-growing progression in technology. On one side, many people believe that the rise in the popularity and usage of technology advances several new problems. For instance, most technological devices such as AI vacuums, sensor and automation devices has made life less active and reduced the physical activity of man to the lowest. According to many social media apps such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. young individuals suffers from mental health problems e.g. Depression, Anxiety. These problems are all valid but not insolvable, using mobile phones moderately and taking care of one's physical health are all essential for better mental and physical health. On the other hand, proponents believe that technology has made life easier and less complicated. Instant connections to friends and family has human feel connected and content. Social media apps like Facebook and Skype has made possible the immediate connections with faraway and abroad relatives and family. Online shopping has changed the world of economics and fast delivery services reduced the burden of commuting here and there. You can buy anything and everything from online shopping from dressing tables, electronics to grocery and medicines etc. New and less painful procedures of surgery, advance drugs, laser treatment and advance machinery, all of these were only possible because of technology. New and innovative solutions have not only provided comfort and efficiency but it has also created a new world for job markets as Freelancing is one of the top industry in the world right now. It provides job opportunities to anyone who has any type of skill so they sell their services from the comfort of their own homes regardless of their country and habitat place. Technology has forever changed the Entertainment Industry after the explosion in the popularity of YouTube, now every kind of entertainment; International or local, is Free and on the tip of the finger of the people. However, I believe that technology is a growing power that can improve the quality of life of humans. Our life wouldn't be this easy and efficient had it not been because of technology. Technology not only helps us in finding convenient and fast solutions but it also helps in eradicating many serious problems that are threatening to the Humanity. As it constantly improving and developing, many more aspects can be further rewarding for humankind.

At almost 500 words, this is no longer an IELTS essay but a class opinion paper. An IELTS task 2 essay should not number more than 300 words due to the limited time allowance for completing the response. That is what the writer should be focusing on, a simple, straightforward, easy to understand answer or opinion presentation. The one thing the Task 2 essay is not is an excessively worded opinion presentation. Keep it short, direct to the point, and understandable. That is all the task requires the writer to accomplish. In fact, this essay does not even follow the prompt requirements for the task. There is no prompt restatement and opinion presentation in the first paragraph. The writer followed an academic paper format rather than the comprehension skills presentation scoring consideration. The discussion for the task 2 essay does not start in the first paragraph. The writer is definitely unfamiliar with the writing requirements, format, and scoring considerations of the task. He overdid it to the point where the essay will not get a passing score because of the ignored demands of the exam. I will not review this work at this point since I cannot honestly comment on an essay that does not contain the correct writing needs of the task. I will await the next essay of this writer, which hopefully will follow the IELTS Task 2 writing standards, and review that paper honestly instead.

## "wonderful experience" In this modern era, humans -being have invented thousand of helpful inventions to improve the quality of our life. Creating a new invention or making our dreams come true, we have to work hard every day from the morning until night but the salary is still not increased more have a promotion, and that is the reason why we choose to explore the world more by taking extreme activities. They called it a "wonderful experience" to try at least once in our life. In addition, they feel bored since their work keeps repeated like a circulation, it does not have new ideas or fascinating points to make them feel enthusiastic to increase their productivity. Nowadays, we can see that there are plenty of companies that organize extreme activities for tourist who likes the thrilling experience. Unlike other sports, we just need to prepare some pieces of equipment, but they can be found in a sports shop and are very cheap to buy. In contrast, if we want to try mountain climbing, we need to have an expert or a guide to instruct us on which types of equipment to buy, how do we get to the destination and the most crucial thing is our safety. If we skip that step, an opportunity of having an accident is likely to happen more than ever. Even though it costs a much higher amount of money to try, it is an unforgettable experience for us. As far as I can tell, the number of people who want to try this is still not much like the other kinds of sports due to its price to maintain and the time we have to consume. Moreover, it is a good activity since it can give us the brave to do new things that we have never tried. For instance, artificial climbing mountain gives me a different feeling from other activities, I was hooked on it and spent nearly an hour satisfying my curiosity. In sum, adolescents or adults who are bored with their daily life should see this as a new experience to try.

Several formatting problems can immediately be seen even before the actual essay is read. This will prove to be scoring problems if left uncorrected. 1. Almost 400 words written. The writer has not used a 40 minute timer when writing this essay. Such a word count cannot be achieved in an actual test setting. 2. There is no real prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation at the start. An immediate discussion without a proper introduction was used instead. 3. The response format in incorrect. The expected 4 paragraph discussion presentation was not used in the essay. There 3 mistakes alone are enough to ensure a failing score. I can't even go into the lexical resource and sentence presentation errors at this point. There are just too many negatives for a single review to complete. There is no passing merit for this essay. The writer just kept writing hoping that the length will be enough to pass the test. Unless the discussion follows the scoring requirements, the essay will fail regardles of the word count. He simply did not understand the writing instructions as provided. He wrote what he wanted instead, which will lead to a final failing score. Write what you are told to write about next time. Make an effort to read and understand the topic + discussion directions.

**Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.** *Write at least 250 words* In recent years, the exponential growth of e-commerce and entertainment online platforms leading to an exponentially flourishing advertisement industry is particularly effective at influencing consumers purchasing decisions. Therefore, while some argue that advertisements have become so commonplace that customers are no longer affected by them, I agree with those who believe that advertising nowadays is still exceedingly powerful. On the one hand, it is true that social media platforms bombard users with tremendous amounts of advertising. The most noticeable aspect of the appearance of these advertisements is that it is based on extraordinary marketing strategies of marketing companies. For example, if we search for a bag on Google, we will see constantly repeated commercials about bags on our Facebook page. The administrators of social media networks are continuously observing us via our touchpoints and internet searches and provide relevant adverts based on this information, promoting clients' purchasing decisions. That is why commercializing products through the media and other billboards continues to be a common attract public attention. Hence, I absolutely agree with the advertising' overwhelming in influencing us to buy. On the other hand, it could be argued that the magical power of advertising has begun to fade through a negative attitude of individuals since they have been aware of the unreliableness of ads. Some brand marketers generally tend to polish the sales message to attract and motivate customers to purchase their products. Unfortunately, customers cannot experience usage and file complaints on social networking sites or entertainment online platforms such as Tiktok. Because of the constant growth and pervasiveness of social media, individuals believe these feedbacks and lose faith in commercials, especially in the cosmetics industry. To conclude, while ordinary citizens are likely to have a negative perspective toward advertising, advertisers are nevertheless able to discover potential buyers because of the massive data they have. As the result, I feed it still productive since it develops a desire in people to purchase products.

Never place the thesis statement at the start of the essay. It creates a prompt deviation when incorrectly placed in the paragraph. The information contained should follow the format below: Topic POV 1 POV 2 Personal Opinion Reason/ Thesis statement The above format ensures both task accuracy and a better preliminary score for the essay. This shows a clear writer's opinion using a sound reasoning basis. There is an incorrect pronoun usage in the paragraphs. The public opinion discussion always uses the third person reference. This is because the writer should be presenting an unbias analysis of the public perception first. When using his,personal opinion the only acceptable personal pronoun is in the first person singular since it is a direct reference to the writer's point of view. The error in discussion format is what will prevent a passing score. The discussion does not clearly divide the public from the private opinion presentation for each viewpoint.

***Due to the popularity of photo sharing websites, it's no longer necessary to have framed pictures or printed photo albums. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?** **Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.*** In this day and age, with the craze for photo sharing websites, printed photo albums or framed pictures have taken a back seat and are deemed as obsolete. From my perspective, though these tangible memories are nowhere near as convenient or popular as their counterparts, classic photo albums still play an indispensable role and have irrefutable meanings in our lives. To commence with, photo albums stir up a sense of nostalgia and act as meaningful presents. Just imagine you are parents of an inquisitive four-year-old child, an album is probably the best thing you can show them. A long-lasting album is not a mere object but a key witness to our changes in lives from newborn's first moments to family reunion or university graduation. Were you to feel lonely or desperate in life, a printed album would pave the way for a chance to reminisce about the good old days. Moreover, not only does it generate the feeling of nostalgia, it is also a thoughtful gift that will stand the test of time and together celebrate memorable moments. How great would it be if there were a soulmate accompanying us in our lives. Lastly, printed photo albums outdo the social sharing sites in terms of credibility and longevity. It is common for the conventional community to regard photo sharing websites as forever. While there is some truth to this claim, we also need to prepare for the worst scenario and consider the likelihood of these websites' changing their retention settings or being hacked. Technology is evolving day by day but the photo album will be there forever, it will not disappear out of nowhere unless you destroy or do not take good care of it. In short, the classic printed photo album has promising benefits such as longevity, credibility and a past witness. Therefore, it is nonsensical to underestimate its value and stop using it due to the popularity of photo sharing websites.

Do not focus on over-explaining the reasoning paragraphs. Remember that the 40 minute task only allows foI the following time breakdown: 10 minutes - question analysis 10 minutes - brainstorming and discussion paragraph outline 10 minutes - draft writing 10 minutes - editing, proofreading, final copy preparation One cannot simply wing it and keep writing without giving thought to the score increasing writing actions. The time allotment above focuses on those considerations. The prompt restatement is accurate. It is creatively developed. No problem there. It is the extent response format that was not met due to the lack of a measured response. Good job on the reasoning basis presentation though. Too bad that deductions need to be applied because of the incorrect response format. Use topic sentences to anchor the paragraphs. That will clearly present the paragraph focus and add to the C + C considerations overall.

## **As major cities in the world are growing today, so do their problems.** *What are the problems for young people who are living in the cities as the result of continued growth? What are the solutions for these problems?* It is common these days for young dwellers, particularly those living in metropolitan areas, to overcome plenty of issues. This tendency leads to the youngster in such areas experiencing some mental health problems and an increasing unemployment rate. However, each school and individual can take to address these problems. Some young people will have some mental health problems when live in urban cities. The people who in rural areas want to pursue higher education or work in urban cities so they may live alone in strange places. Therefore youngsters may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry. In addition, young people could bear the weight of paying all household bills and responsibilities because of the higher cost of living but miss out on emotional support from families or companions. These can contribute to being linked to mental health and other health problems. Regarding fresh graduates, ones can meet difficulties in seeking a decent job without experience and facing intensive competitiveness. Others struggle with working in a professional work environment where never exposure before. This can result in an increasing natural unemployment rate which deprives (the) economy. These problems can be tackled by two measures. Considering the first issue, there is a need for young people to take part in extracurricular activities to widen ones' network and horizons. Another measure that young people should stay connected on social media is by joining social platforms which connect strangers and share photos and stories, such as Omegle, Facebook, Tinder, etc. The second problem can be addressed thanks to schools. With organizing practical training classes in public. In this sense, final-year students can get exposure to teachers with practical experiences. These facilities to children have an overview in reality. In conclusion, although the trend towards constant development in metropolitans leads to posing a threat to young people's mental health and job prospects. It is essential for each individual to keep up with other on social platform. There is a need for schools to arrange a practical classes for senior students.

This is an essay was written without the benefit of time constraints. Had the writer practiced with a timer present, he would have discovered that this word count cannot be achieved when quality checks are performed on the draft copy. The essay needs to be clear in message but less verbose. The above advice will only work if the discussion presented is on topic, containing coherent discussion points, and a convincing series of reasons. So, what is the biggest problem of this essay? It went off topic the minute the incoherent prompt restatement was written. It ended with a discussion regarding social media and social connections. Topics that never figured in the original presentation. This will definitely receive a failing score.

## People have different views on whether we should pursue one job or not. ***This essay will look into both sides of the matter before my final conclusion is drawn.*** On the one hand, doing one job derives numerous merits, the most notable of which is the higher work productivity. Having only one post entitles us to focus more on that job, which considerably contributes to occupation proficiency. Furthermore, doing more than one job means you need excellent time management skills to fulfill all jobs well. To illustrate, when I was an undergraduate, I used to work as a receptionist while having a part-time job at a local restaurant. Lack of efficient management ability made me incapable of balancing my two occupations, which led to an inefficient working performance. On the other hand, it is justifiable for some to pursue several jobs at the same time, mainly due to the higher income. As some people choose to do their dream job regardless of its low salary, having another job is a must if they want to pay for living expenses as well as satisfy their needs. For instance, many teenagers nowadays are taking advantage of multiple jobs to earn extra income to please their leisure and personal interests. This not only improves their living standard but also boosts their motivation to work harder. In conclusion, although only one occupation may seem beneficial, having several jobs is worth considering. It is my conviction that we should consider thoroughly in order to find the optimal type of work.

The writer needs to provide a more detailed prompt restatement and personal opinion presentation. This first paragraph does not meet all of the paraphrasing and opinion requirements. The summarized discussion points are not worthy of full scoring. The discussion outline is missing. The personal opinion was first established when it should have been the last presentation. The general public perception discussion for the 2 public opinions are not present as required by the discussion prompt. This is an inefficient discussion presentation that may not receive passing requirements. Even the reverse paraphrase in the concluding paragraph does not meet the necessary guidelines. The writer has not provided a format responsive essay. It will be difficult for this type of work to get a passing score.

## two charts to compare with description The pie charts illustrate people's choices of means of transportation to travel to a university between 2004 and 2009. Overall, there was an increase in the number of people opting for a bicycle, public transportation, and walking as the main methods to access the university examined; meanwhile, an opposite trend can be seen in the figure for car usage. In addition, the train and walking choices had consistently the least figures throughout the period. The percentage of bus options started at 33%, after which it saw a significant rise to almost a half in 2009. Furthermore, only 9% of people chose bicycle as the main mean of transportation to travel to the university in 2004, with a subsequent two-fold to 16% 5 years later. As a result, the figure for people using cars declined considerably from 51% to 28% over the period. The proportion of people walking to the university increased slightly, ending at 6% in 2009. A similar change can be seen in the figure for those opting for train, which rose from 3% to 4% over the 5-year period. *

The number of pie charts must be accurately stated along with what year it represents to help differentiate the image comparisons later on. Written in the current manner, the report does not address task clarity due to the lack of information separation. More comparison clarity is needed. Report on the years individually within the last 2 paragraphs. A more coherent trending statement would have delivered a more sufficient comparison overview. Do not confuse the reporting paragraphs by jumping around the half decade year references. Learn to group the information to achieve a clearer report. Trying to combine the year information idea was not a good idea in this case because of the confusing nature of the presentation. Focus on developing your C + C skills when writing your next practice test as this is your current weak spot.

## Damage due to Hurricane Katrina Hurricane Katrina is the one of the most dangerous hurricane in the history of U.S.A ,It's worst damage was in New Orleans , It caused $100 billion damage and 1,800 deaths. The hurricane was 19-foot storm surge broke through the city's flood walls and the levees. The failure of New Orleans's flood-protection system was blamed on engineering flaws . Hurricane Katrina impacted about 90,000 square miles.

Word capitalization rules were not followed in the writing of this statement. A capital letter cannot follow a comma unless the next reference is a proper noun. That is the only instance when a capital letter may be used after a comma. In terms of sentence presentation, the writer is prone to excessive comma use which created a run-on filled paragraph presentation. The statement does not represent a balanced mix of commonly used sentence presentations. In reference to the data presented, the writer needs to refer to at least a partial breakdown of what comprises the amount of damage. A hurricane creates a storm surge, but a storm surge is not a hurricane. These are 2 different things related to cause and effect scenarios. The writer needs to enhance his vocabulary skills in relation to this mistake.

## average monthly spend on children's sports The line charts provide changes on the british childrens's sports expanditure, measured in pounds currency and changes on how many british children who favoured various sports namely, footbal, Athletics, and swimming, measured in million for a six years period of time from 2008 to 2014. In general, the amount of money spent for british children's sports, also the number of kids who favoured swimming saw a gradual rise. Simmilarly, athletics and football also had an upward trend but they tend to fluctuate over the period. To begin with, all three different sports favoured by the british kids had an upward trend. Swimming stood at just under 2,5, then it increased gradually reaching approximately at 3,2. On the other hand, footbal and athletics they had a fluctuation. they stood at just over 7,5 and nearly zero respectively in 2008. Having increased fluctuately and by the end of the period they ended at just under 10 and almost 5 respectively. Simmilar to the kids who favoured swimming, the british kid expanditure on sports also inclined gradually. it started at 20 pounds in 2008 and ended just over 30 in 2014. *

The summary overview is quite confusing to the reader. It fails to clearly state the number of line graphs and what each graph represents There must be 2 seperate image summaries indicated for this purpose. The total sentence number should be no less than 3 to achieve this objective. This is an insufficient summary. Consistent spelling errors will lower the LR score of this presentation. Failure to spot and correct these mistakes indicate both a lack of quality control in the writing and insufficient knowledge of English words. These can add to confusion when trying to iunderstand the paragraph content. The lack of proper image content separation in the paragraphs leave the reader wondering where the information came from. By not correctly providing the image sources, the paragraph loses both coherence and cohesiveness. The essay is not well written. The aforementioned problems can very well result in a failing score. These areas of concern must be improved upon in the next practice task.

I hope I have appliced the advice given by the consultant. Please tell me whether the will score well/passing or not. ## how patients evaluated health centre services The table below indicates the evalution done by patients in the Longston, Peveril and Marchbank health centers. Overall, Peveril was regarded as the best health center in all services, followed by the Marchbank center. The services provided by the Longstom center was evaluted as the worst by patients. To begin, the Peveril center was regarded as close to excellent in the quality of services provided with an overall average of 8.3 across all services. Although, pharmacy and care of children had the lowest rating between the given services in the center, scoring 6.3 and 7.5, respectively, its response to concerns and booking appointments were the fields where the center was miles ahead of the competetion with near perfect ratings of 9.6 and 9.1, respectively. Meanwhile, the Marchbank center recieved an overall average of 7.2 and the Longston centre got only a 5.8 average rating. While their best rated service was the doctor's service, evaluated to be 8.4 for Marchbank and 8.0 for longston, which was not far from Peveril's 8.7, response to concerns was evaluated as the worst service for Longston and pharmacy the worst for Marchbank at 4.3 and 5.8, respectively. *

Where is the list of services for comparison in the summary? The reader has no idea what you begin to report on later on. The summary of relevant content could be better detailed. The review is inconsistent in presentation. There are also spelling errors that need correction. This is a rushed review. The writer must pay attention to writing rules, spelling, and content quality. The first version is never the final version. It is the point where improvements to presentation, content adjustment and changes, as well as grammar correction should be done. The 2nd version might be the final copy if time does not permit a 3rd review. There will be reduced scores in some sections of the essay. The score will be low but still passing. If you have a particular score to achieve in mind., this essay may have slightly missed the mark. Contact me privately for details about comprehensive scoring reviews.

***It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. ## Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?*** in this day and age, children's mental and physical development is one of the most prevalent topics. it is said that punishment is essential to discipline children at an early age. from my point of view, parents should not use strict punishment on children; on the other hand, finding approriate teaching methods is much more significant. in this essay, i will support my opinion with some examples. to begin with, many researches indicate that punishment does not help children to undersand their problems. it is widely accepted that slapping, beating and scolding cannot correct childrend's behaviour; otherwise, children become misbehaved and averse to any discipline from their parents. in this case, punishment totally gives no effect to building children's good behaviour another reason why i disagree with punishing children is that this kind of discipline negatively cause physical and mental damage. beyond being ineffective, punishment leaves injury on children's bodies and prevent the development of brain. in addition to physical hurt, punishment like yelling or scolding increases hormones called toxic stress, which makes children feel stressed and depressed. it may lead to a serious consequence that children become more vulnerable and isolated from society. instead of using punishment on children, there are many other ways to help them learn acceptable behaviour. one outstanding way that doctors highly recommend is calmly explaining. parents should consistently point out children's faults and show them the consequences if they misbehave. listening to children additionally makes them feel more comfortable and take notice of what parents say. in conclusion, i personally think that punishment is not an effective way to teach children good behaviour. parents ought to be responsible for discovering other approriate ways to educate their children.

The writer does not offer a related topic paraphrasing nor a relevant extent response in the first paragraph. It is only partially relevant in response to the second question. It is not a solid response as it is not delivered in the correct response style. Full marks for this section will not be received. The response is mostly incorrect due to the lack of measured emotional response. The writer will receive a failing score in the GRA section for failing to meet English writing standards particularly in relation to word capitalization. Every first word of a new sentence must be capitalized. The essay could very well get a non-passing final score because of this oversight. I will stop my review at this point. The writer shows no sign of making an honest effort to pass the test. Reviewing this will be a waste of time. Come back for a review when you are already serious about passing the IELTS test.

## select and report main feAtures from the graph The graph illustrates how much paper, wood pulp and sawn good were manufactured in the UK between 1980 and 2000. Overall, there was a decrease in the production of wood pulp and sawn good, while a dramatic rise was seen in the manufacture of paper & packaging. It is clear that paper & packaging consistently had by far the highest figures throughout the period, with a considerable increase was witnessed in the latter of the period. The amount of paper & packaging produced in the UK starts at around 230 million tonnes, after which it saw a slight rise to 250 million in 1990. By contrast, 200 million tonnes of wood pulp was manufactured in 1980, with a subsequent significant decline to 150 million in 1990. A similar change, but to a lesser extent, was seen in the figure for sawn wood, which decreased from approximately 170 million tonnes to 150 million tonnes. From 1990 to 2000, the amount of paper & packaging continued to increase sharply, reaching a peak of 350 million units. A milder growth was seen in the figure for wood pulp, hitting a high of 160 million tonnes. Conversely, sawn wood production dropped to roughly 130 million tonnes. *Thank you for helping me to correct my essay!* *

The summary overview is not off to a good start. It is missing important elements such as the measurement reference. The ideas are over-compressed into a single sentence which does not reference a properly structured sentence. All summaries must be 3 sentences long to increase the writer's chance of delivering a more cohesive summary. Information accuracy is a must. This includes word spelling. The writer shows a lak off qquality control in relation to that. Spelling error corrections were not accomplished because word proofing was not performed on the draft copy. He correctly references "sawn-wood" later on but deductions still need to be applied for the earlier incorrect spelling. The comparison discussion is not complete. Sawn. wood and wood pulp have equal data presentation in 1990. A crossover reference that should have been highlighted in the presentation as a very important highlight. There are several negligible problems in the presentation. However the effect will only lower the final score. It will still get a passing grade. Do a more thorough analysis next time and remember to corect errors to further lessen deductions.

***In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? In the modern world, various individuals hold a belief that consuming animal products such as food, medicines, and clothes will be unnecessary. Despite the theoretical benefits of this proposal, I disagree with this opinion. It is understandable why some people believe that animal products will be redundant in the future. Due to the modern technology of science, researchers can create a mixed variety of advanced medicines that do not condo tain of animal features. However, my personal opinion is against this proposal due to the following reasons. First and foremost, some patients can not access manmade medicines because of the financial budget. Additionally, producing this type of medicine takes time longer than using natural creatures. For example, a few categories of illness such as cough, stomachache, and earache,... can be solved by some type of body parts of animals. Some opponents might argue that wearing clothes and consuming food gained from animals can lead to the o extinction of natural habitats. This view looks plausible at first, but from my perspective, using products from animals can bring more benefits to the user. First of all, the nutritional value in animals can outweigh the valuation of not natural products. For instance, researchers from Stanford University in 2019 have compared the value nutrition of oysters with a pill that contains ingredients extracted from oysters. While an oyster can bring 120 testosterone f me a pill just can bring 78 testosterone. Additionally, wearing clothes made from leather-like crocodiles, and sheep,... is a way to advertise the natural beauty of animals In conclusion, although dot usiuseimals products can bring some benefits, it is not advisable to implement this proposal in reality. Thanks for your time.

The opening paragraph uses too many memorized phrases from the original. These direct cut and paste references will definitely affect the task accuracy score of the essay. It is important that the restatement avoid any and references to the original wordings because those will not reflect his comprehension and rewording skills properly. He is also making a reference to theoretical benefits of this proposal which is not indicated in the first version. Therefore the prompt restatement has become inaccurate in relation to the discussion basis. The lack of a clear reasoning statement to back his opinion did not help this paragraph either. The prompt restatement + personal opinion is a failure. An inability to form proper English sentences and the writer's unfamiliarity with English word usage will further add to the reasons why this essay will fail. The errors could be caused by one of two reasons: 1. Unfamiliarity with English words and its meaning; 2. Lack of proofreading skills. He did not review the draft, look for mistakes, and correct these upon detection. These are but a few of more than several other problems that the writer is facing with his essay writing. Solving these problems will require more than just vocabulary building and free essay reviews. He must enroll in ESL classes to address his English language shortcomings.

***The prevention of health problems and health illnesses is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. ## To what extent do you agree?*** Healthcare remains to be a heated debate throughout these recent centuries, especially in the Covid-19 pandemic. While numerous civilians state that governmental aid should be given in precautions of health problems rather than in medical treatment, I strongly believe that the funds be flexibly divided as they are equally important to human wellbeing. On the one hand, preventive health care improves public health in the long-term. To put it another way, preventive care means catching problems before they become real problems. By early endowing funds to this approach, the government would lower the potential possibility of patients infecting diseases, especially the chronic ones such as type 2 diabetes or cancer. Take regular wellness checks as an example, in doing so, you would have your blood pressure tested regularly. If your healthcare professional notices that it's increasing, you can start doing things to lower your blood pressure before it becomes problematic, thus, lessening the long-term cost of disease management and saving a huge amount of funds from the national budgets aided in experiments. On the other hand, treatment plays an important role when a preventive method is ineffective. Precisely, medical therapy is generally considered to be management and care of a patient to combat disease or disorder. Therefore, the administrator bodies presumably pay the earth for launching a full-scale investigation into a disease for it to become a lifelong knowledge that could be applied in treatment for even more than a century. The patients could then be satisfied with the assurance of their well-being sustainability, having said that the medical treatment is available after being carefully examined under unmeasurable time and funds. In conclusion, government funding should be aided in preventive healthcare in a great amount. Nevertheless, funds in disease treatment could not be overlooked. The authorities should consider a wide spectrum of all possibilities to determine what means the best for local communities. (Thank you very much! **What band would I score with this essay, please?**)

The first sentence in the restatement paragraph is score reducing as it offers a personal opinion where it should not be provided. It removes the accurate restatement of the original prompt topic. The prompt topic should be restated over 2 sentences with the writer's opinion being the 3rd sentence presentation. No added but unsupported claims should be found anywhere in the presentation. The writer has provided a strong opinion thesis but not a direct emotional response to the question. He has in effect, changed the discussion topic to one of his own design. The overall restatement and accuracy response is now incorrect as it no longer aligns with the orginal presentation. This is no longer a relevant and passing score essay.