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***In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?*** For editing, content, and formatting needs please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com. Thank you! EF Traditional newspapers and books used to be an integral part of human life; however, as the Internet becomes more accessible than ever before, their marketability has been questionable at best because online materials can be read free of charge. While there is no denying the benefits of reading online newspapers and books over reading traditional ones, I believed that conventional newspapers and books can never be replaced. On the one hand, the reason accounting for why people can read everything freely online is the prevalence of the Internet. This is because the Internet helps people keep in touch with each other and share their daily experiences, social affairs, and even e-books or online article at no expense. In addition, as long as people watch the attached advertisements on the website, they can read its contents at no cost because the owner's primary source of income mainly comes from advertising so that they can allocate those budgets for website maintenance. On the other hand, not all online materials and websites are trustworthy. To earn more money, many online websites religiously deliver falsified and even over-exaggerated news to attract readers. This is the reason why the masses are inclined to lean towards the traditional materials that provide more reliable information. Furthermore, a host of websites often offer a price for copyright books or reliable international news to make money from the customers to have a sustainable income for their website operation. The Guardian and BBC are good examples. They offer a premium membership fee for online users who want to read all articles written by renowned and experienced writers. To conclude, while it seems that online reading is superior to traditional reading in some aspects, the latter can not be discounted and is by no means expendable. Please assess my coherence & cohesion and task achievement. Thank you.

The writer obviously misunderstood the discussion requirement for the essay. He has not responded in the manner that will earn him a proper scoring consideration overall. While the writer is responding to the task, he has not considered the format by which it should be presented and as such, failed to deliver the correct response format for the discussion. While he will receive a score for his discussion paragraphs, the lack of applicability of his response to the discussion instruction as provided will not allow this essay to receive a passing preliminary score. It is difficult to say that the writer can turn this into a passing essay since the response format used was not the expected single opinion defense.

## TWO pie charts ANALYSIS The 2 pie charts compare 9 categories of waste discarded in a particular country in 1960 and 2011. Overall, the initial impression is the amount of paper, textiles and other which were disposed of fell significantly while there was a considerable increase in the disposed plastic, food and wood. It can also be seen that the figures for glass and green waste remained unchanged. In 1960, paper accounted for 25% of total disposal, but by 2011, this fell to slightly less than one-sixth. Moreover, the amount of textile experienced a significant drop from 17% to just over a tenth in the particular time frame. In terms of other, its figure in 2011 was three times lower (4%) than it was in 1960 (12%). In contrast, the proportion of plastic discarded saw a substantial growth from 8% to nearly 1 fifth while the figure for wood was twice as high, at 8% compared to 4%. Another notable increase was in the percentage food thrown away, which by 2011 was nearly double the 1960 figure(12%). In a meantime, the disposal of glass, metal and green waste remained constant, with proportions of approximately 9% for the first two and 5% for the latter For editing, content, and formatting needs please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com. Thank you! EF *

The trending paragraph should be simpler in presentation. It should not a total report paragraph unto itself as is presented here. A trend is measurement specific. Pick the highs and lows of the most notable part of the listing. The last sentence was really unnecessary in this case. Do not overdo it because that tends to cut into the actual reporting paragraphs already. Use up to 2 sentences for the trend. The blending of the summary overview + trending consideration certainly helped to make that paragraph stronger and fall within a higher preliminary scoring bracket. The rest of the report needs to use a uniform data presentation. Either present it as fractional, or present it as specific percentages. Always go with what the image actually presents. In this case, use percentages. Where actual measurements are not indicated, fractional assumptions may be effectively used.

***Topic: A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.** ## Write a PARAGRAPH to give your opinion on the FIRST view .* Ongoing perceptional development since then antiquity brings in-depth intelligence to humans, which facilitates industrialism and civilization to become more sophisticated and convenient; however, in individual opinions, overthinking and strong empathy in animals is a darkside of human revolution. Standing at the top of the food chain, definitely, animals do not have the commensurate right as humans; hence, homo sapiens could manipulate species for several merits. Furthermore, maintaining biodiversity and ensuring not putting specific species on the threshold of extinction. A prevailing example is producing honey from pollen, which is consisted of archaic therapy, moreover, supposedly, the bee is in a prosperous life by human conservation.

Wow! A dictionary exploded all over this statement. It is like the student decided to look up word descriptors online to use and then, decided to use those words without regard for the relevance of the word choices to the discussion. He disregarded the applicability of the word meaning in relation to the target audience. The total paragraph lacks an academic clarity expected of a high school or college level learner. The writer did not come up with a coherent nor logical explanation for his opinion presentation. It is confusing to read because the writer targeted word usage rather than a proper, clear, and understandable opinion presentation. He should not be trying to write such a complex paragraph as of yet. He should keep it simple in terms of word choice and usage. He should also remember that each paragraph or essay written is meant for a target audience who may not appreciate the use of advanced vocabulary words that are not applicable to the people reading the paper. In this case, who was he writing for? The word choice was neither specific to a given profession nor meant for the easy understanding of a lay person. This is a badly developed paragraph because of the word choices used in the opinion presentation.

## the demand for tea and coffee and people's drinking habits The given chart provides information regarding the outcomes of a survey about Sydney's Melbourne's Brisbane's, Adelaide's, and Hobart's residents' tea and coffee purchasing and drinking habits over a four-week period. Overall, whereas the largest proportion of people preferred to go to a coffee shop for coffee or tea with the exception of Adelaide, where buying instant coffee was more popular, the least favored to buy fresh coffee. In terms of having a coffee or tea in a café, while Hobart and Melbourne had the highest proportions, almost the same, at nearly 63%, Adelaide had the lowest percentage, where purchasing instant coffee was relatively more preferable. Furthermore, the figure of Brisbane and Sydney varied between 62% and 55%. Focusing on buying instant coffee, whereas it made up the highest proportions in Hobart followed by Brisbane, at around 1% variance, it ranged from 50% to 45% for the remaining three cities, of which Sydney had the lowest contribution, reaching almost 46%. Buying fresh coffee had the least popularity if compared to the other two habits. While, it was most popular in Sydney followed by Melbourne and then Hobart with around 44%, 42%, and 37%, respectively, it had lowest preference in Brisbane and Adelaide, at approximately similar level of 34%.

The summary overview does not identify the type of image nor the number of images. The listing of cities in Australia within the sentence does not follow the correct enumeration format. There is a wrong and excessive use of proprietarial apostrophe's in the enumeration where only only apostrophe is required. The writer also failed to correctly use commas as enumeration separators in the same paragraph. the run-on sentence presentation will be the final reason that the summary overview will receive a failing preliminary score. The writer is using the word "whereas" in this presentation. It is neither used as a conjunction or as a noun, which are the only correct ways to do it. So the writer has shown that he has knowledge of elementary English words, but not how to use it properly. Rather than adding clarity to the trend, it created confusion instead. Comma usage throughout the essay reduces the clarity of the sentence ideas and explanations. It seems to be the only punctuation mark, aside from a period, that the writer knows how to use. The sentences are neither complex, simple, nor compund because of the punctuation usage problem. This cannot be marked as a passing score task.

Hi, I am learning IELTS, I come here to improve my writing skill which I have been painfully poor. thanks for helping. ## THE WRITING IELTS TASK 2- THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES ***Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of being famous.*** We live in an age when the shiny lights from the professional digital cameras are too bright and the celebrities become more popular. There is an opinion that being famous can give a lot of advantages while others hold a different viewpoint about this matter. In my opinion, although there are some advantages to being a star, this career can affect a lot of people's lives. On the one hand, there are a lot of benefits of being famous. Firstly, the relationships of stars will be prone to disaster because we all know that numerous influencers do not have time for their family and friends. This leads to them having a toxic environment and fake friends. What is more, this career can be paid unwanted attention such as anti fan criticising or stalkers and paparazzi who can follow you everywhere which make you feel annoyed and violate privacy. Additionally, there are also many depressions of being famous, because of a heavy schedule and intense work. The celebrities have to be perfect all the time to create a good public image and they eventually have to compete with others for the spotlight. Everyday, influencers have to face a lot of problems. That is why everyone asserts that showbiz is so dramatic and complicated. On the other hand, being famous also provides some advantages. In specific, normal people can easily turn into the rich when they are superstars. Moreover, they become stunning with flashy clothing, they can go to different places of interest and so on. Furthermore, the celebrities have the special treatment, they can earn a lot of loves from fan and live with protected life. In conclusion, although there are plentiful positive aspects that come with being famous individual. One can not overlook the major drawbacks that come with it.

The opening sentence would have better served the presentation had it been used as the introduction to the personal opinion instead. It would not have been seen by the examiner as a mispositioned personal opinion in the paragraph. Being incorrectly presented means it will result in a deduction in terms of task accuracy since the writer's opinion cannot be merged with the original topic restatement. That aspect should remain pure, without any added or unnecessary information influencing it based on the writer's opinion or wish to create a flowery opening statement. The restatement should be adherent to the original presentation topic. Having read the writer's opinion, I know that the sentence I refer to would have helped increased the accuracy score of the essay had the sentence been located there instead. By the way, the writer spoke of the advantage in his opinion but forgot to introduce a disadvantage topic. That means he did not completely refer to the guide questions. As such, the restatement + opinion paragraph will not get complete scoring points. Try not to use the phrase "and so on" when discussing any topic. It does not mean anything and refers only to the writer's laziness to properly close a sentence or paragraph. The disadvantage discussion is not well developed. It lacks the same writing elements as the previous paragraph. It could have been better written had the writer paid attention to actually developing that paragraph based on the score increasing potential it had.

## summarise the information from the table The table compares the amount of 3 different vegetables (potatoes, cabbage and onions) produced in 5 different countries in 2012. Overall, the initial impression is that potatoes are the only product that all five examined nations grew. It can also be seen that China was the largest producer of such vegetables. In 2012, the quantity of potatoes produced in China was 9214 Mt, which was the highest figure of all countries and more 100 times higher than that of the second highest Ireland (72Mt). Meanwhile, there was a small number of potatoes manufactured in Spain and Brazil, at 2Mt and 3Mt respectively. In terms of Cabbage, the difference can be seen as the second largest manufacturer - Russia produced only roughly 300 Mt fewer than China, 2765 compared to 3187. Additionally, this vegetable was not favored in Brazil with 0 Mt produced. When it comes to Onions, the similar allocation could be seen as China still occupied the first position in onion production, with the figure at over 2600 Mt. Next in ranking was Russia with an average of 2039 Mt manufactured. In contrast, there was very few onions grown in Ireland and Spain. While the former only accounted for 5 Mt, there was no onions produced in the latter. *

The trending statement is overextended. There needs to be only one trend presented since the amount of potatoes produced by China should factor into the comaparative analysis paragraph that relates to the vegetables produced by China. There should also be 3 reporting paragraphs since there are 3 vegetables meant for averaging in the report. One vegetable per paragraph, 5 countries analyzed in every paragraph. Do not merge the discussion for the vegetables in the same paragraph. It creates confusion for the reader, resulting in difficulty following the paragraph discussion. The presentation becomes awkward and lacks authority in its statement due to the lack of coherent discussion sentences. Keep the focus on one item at a time and compare these between the 5 countries. That way the paragraph does not lose its subject focus.

## Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. ***What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome?*** It is observed that several laborers are struggling to achieve the work-life balance. The high volume of work as well as the promotion of materialism could be contributing factors to this phenomenon. However, it can be tackled by such measures as the enactment of laws and shrewder financial plans. To commence with, the aforementioned problem can be attributed to two reasons. One of them is the increasing number of tasks in the workplace. Since employees, in this day and age, tend to assume a heavy workload, it appears necessary to work overtime to accomplish the assigned duty, which, in the process, culminates in their reduction of time allocated into other activities. Another explanation is people pursuing materialism. To be more specific, many individuals are intrinsically inclined to acquire more material possession as a way to stay on equal footing to their friends or colleagues, resulting in their forgoing time to work harder to accumulate wealth. Nonetheless, the issue could be mitigated by some viable solutions. A key of them is that national governing bodies introduce laws regulating the frequency of working overtime in every firm. For instance, any business extending their operating time over the limited days in a week have to pay the monetary fine. Additionally, each individual should build up their own shrewder financial plan. As a plethora of laborers opt for working overtime to earn a fortune due to the shortage of money, a detailed list of expenses appears efficacious now that it helps workers manage their expenditure suitably, reducing their demand to work extended hours. In conclusion, the growing demands in workplace and materialistic pursuits could be the genuine cataclysms to the misbalance between work and other life aspects. However, the issue could be resolved by the laws introduced by the government coupled with personal suitable plan of spending.

The essay is heavily reliant on word and phrase fillers to meet the word count. These are what made the essay go over 300 words without actually adding any context to the presentation, thus not being useful in increasing the possible scoring considerations for the essay. Avoiding the use of these fillers and replacing these with actual connecting words, phrases, and transitions sentences would help the writer improve his writing style. Unfamiliarity with English descriptive words has resulted in incorrect word usage for the writer. The word "laborer" cannot be used to replace the word "people". A laborer is sometimes used to refer to all workers in general. However, it is profession specific as it relates to a person engaged in work that requires bodily strength rather than skill or training. So this is not the correct synonym for "people". The same general reference indicator should be used. It should not alter the specific reference from the original prompt.

## energy capacity in 2015 and 2040 Hi, I am working on my writing skill. I would be appreciated if you can spare your time checking my writing below, and if possible, giving it an approximate band score (based on IELTS marking criteria). The pie charts illustrate the distribution of five major sources in the overall energy capacity in 2015 and give predictions for 2040. Units are measured in gigawatts (GW). It is readily apparent that fossil fuels were the dominant source of energy in the past while solar power was the least used. However, it aims to have wider use of clean energy in future times, with the total projected capacity almost doubling. In 2015, the proportion of fossil fuels constituted approximately two-thirds of the total amount of energy produced, being the most common source of power. By contrast, three primary renewable types of energy (solar, nuclear and wind) only made up 13% altogether, with solar power being the lowest (2%) and nuclear power the highest (6%). Concerning the changes, although the figure for fossil fuel might drop by 20% in 2040, it remains the most significant, as opposed to the possible increase in the percentages of wind and solar energy to 12% and 18% respectively. Nevertheless, it appears that other renewables and nuclear power may experience slight falls by between 1 and 2 percent *

While the word count is impressive, the lack of proper sentence structuring and sentence type representation will hold back the GRA score for the essay. The summary overview needs better information separation for the pie charts as well. Individualize the reference image per function to achieve summary clarity. Make the same reference when doing the report analysis so that the reader will know which image is being analyzed within the paragraph. These referencing methods are required to meet the C+C requirements of the task. The reporting paragraphs require more thought separation. There is an overuse of commas in relation to the thought presentations. In a task 1 essay, reporting clarity is achieved through the use of the one idea per sentence policy. The idea being that by the use of independent thought sentences, a coherent and cohesive paragraph can be achieved. The normal paragraph format is anywhere between 3-5 sentences.

***Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? Processed food products are high-content sugar for its preservation out of microbial species, which causes a significant number of health issues. Some people argue this type of product should be limited by putting high prices so that people could consume less sugar. In my view, I firmly disagree with this statement. Increasing the price of sugary products may harm society. Firstly, this type of activity would put more pressure on the sugary industry and other businesses. This would reduce the earnings of the market, and as a result, some companies would diminish their employees, raising the unemployed rate. Furthermore, sugary products were not the only factor leading to health issues. If sugary foods change at a higher price, people should also change their eating habits to other types of products like fast food, and high-content salt products, all of which could lead to bad health if consumed too much. Therefore, increasing the price of sugary products might lead to an economic crisis and should not be seen as a suitable way to decrease health problems. In contrast, sugary products provide benefits to society. Most of the factories in the sugary industry require significant human resources. This would increase job vacancies, help the unemployed and improve the standard of living. Additionally, due to the low price, inhabitants with lower income could maintain their living expenses, and save more money for affording higher priorities, such as paying tuition pee or rental accommodation monthly. Sugary products would lead to health problems, but if people appropriately use these products, for example dividing smaller portions, they might eventually achieve a healthy balanced life. Thus, sugary products could improve the quality of society. In conclusion, I disagree with the concept of making higher prices for sugary products to lower health problems. This type of activity would not only lower the health issues of society but also could lead to an economic crisis

Try to limit your writing to 300 words. That will allow ample time for proper editing and finalization of content within the essay prior to submission. These 2 steps are important to accomplish during the test because doing so will allow the writer to increase the scoring potential of his presentation. The clearer the meaning, more proper the word usage, the better the final outcome of the essay will be. For example, the first sentence of the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph is confusing. What does "preservation out of microbial species" have to do with the discussion. Where is the reference to such a thing in the original? This has altered the basis of discussion and thus, changed the discussion topic foundation of the rewrite. That means the original thought representation is no longer adherent to the accuracy requirements of the discussion. Reviewing the writing instruction is also important when it comes to developing the writer's opinion. The response to the question must also be applicable to the discussion format as indicated. It is important to understand the difference between an extent essay and an ordinary discussion essay. "To what extent" may be responded to with "I firmly believe" as it refers to an emotional or measured opinion response. Such a response is not required when asked a simple question: Do you agree or disagree? The response format is partly correct. It should not have had an emotional / measured response included in the response reference. Include the short form of the personal opinion basis at the end of the restatement. It will help complete the thesis paragraph representation as required by the scoring criteria. Without it, the reader lacks a proper summary reference or overview of the upcoming discussion paragraphs. By strengthening the first paragraph, the writer will ensure that the essay's overall score will be a passing one, even as other deductions might apply to relevant sections. Word usage is a bit of an issue in this writing. The writer tends to overemphasize his writing using words that do not apply to the discussion. Do not be afraid to use simple words in the essay. Simplicity in word usage will mean less possibility of LR deductions and an increase scoring potential in the C+C section. These observations aside, the essay has the potential to get a moderately high passing score since it checks the box for most of the scoring requirements, specially in the single opinion defense part. It is an essay that is developed well enough to pass. Even the sentence structure errors can be overlooked since the presentation is understandable for the most part. The writer made an effort to include as many sentence types as possible in the presentation.

## adapting to the culture of the host country and learning it without knowing the local language? Many people believe that "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" means that visitors should respect and integrate into the mores of host nations. While I agree with this view, I partly disagree with the opinion that learning the language is unnecessary to understand the culture. It is clear that every country has its own specific traditions and customs that new arrivals should appreciate and follow. First, integration helps travelers avoid some embarrassing misbehaviors as well as increases sentiments of local hospitality. For instance, tipping is not customary in Japan. In fact, it might be considered rude and insulting in some situations. This case is similar to hands-waving in Greek and pigeons feeding in Singapore. Another reason why they should be well equipped with cultural knowledge is to broaden their horizons and global mindset, which paves the way for further experiences. On the other hand, visitors can simply comprehend the essence of a culture to a certain limit without learning its dialect. Meanwhile, they can obtain an in-depth knowledge of that civilization if they have a solid language understanding. This is because cultural features have been accumulated and evolved as time goes by, it is implausible to decipher fully without knowing the language to either communicate with habitants or search for more detailed information. Hence, language is the key to any perception. All things considered, while I hold a belief that visitors should have a sense of appreciation and respectability towards the culture of where they are visiting, a basic understanding of the language is crucial for any cultural study.

The reference to "When in Rome..." was only a reference point for the writer. the cliche need not be mentioned in the actual discussion because it was unnecessary. Rather, the simple restatement of the topic about people adapting to the culture as a tourist should have been made, with 2 direct question response presentations. The response to the second question is in error because the writer based his response on an extent presentation when such an option was not given in the guide question. So there are inaccuracies in the presentation that could adversely affect the preliminary score of the opening statement. The writer improperly referenced "Greece" the country as "Greek" who are the native born citizens of Greece. That specific paragraph was also under served by the sudden introduction of a second reason, which was not properly developed in terms of discussion when compared to the previous reason in the same paragraph. The reasoning as to language learning should have started with the second reason based on the usefulness of learning the language of the country first. The paragraph did not require a compare and contrast discussion since it was neither required by the original question and, did not really help establish the correct discussion point as indicated by the prompt.

## the purpose of travelling and working overseas Travel overseas or working in an international environment are supposed by some people to be the sole reason for studying other languages. However, others argue that they are not the main excuse for this activity. From my point of view, the former opinion is not completely correct, since learning languages has a lot of advantages, which make people decide to master them. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the opportunities of traveling and working in a foreign country is one of the reasons for learning languages. The ability to speak other languages fluently, especially English, Chinese,... gives you the chance to go abroad or become employees of oversea or multinational entrepreneurs and helps you get a brighter future since you can broaden your horizon and show off your talents. What's more, those companies are also famous for excellent facilities, high salary and good compensation, which make people want to study languages in order to work there. However, the aforementioned thing isn't the aim of all learners. Personally, I think that the core function of languages is making communication become easier for those who come from different countries. For that reason, many people start learning another language with an aim of interacting more effectively with their counterparts, partners or making new friends. Moreover, in this globalization era, more and more documents are written in some common languages. As a result, the ability to understand these languages can help humans be exposed to a variety of knowledge all over the world. For example, university students tend to search for materials in English since most of the research results have English versions. In conclusion, even though going and working overseas is a driving force for some people when learning new languages, it is not the only one purpose since benefits of being multilingual are countless, which results in many other aims.

The writer shows incorrect punctuation usage in the presentation. Any student of written English knows that the basic punctuation rule is that these have to be used one at a time. These cannot be used successively, as in a comma then ellipses, because each punctuation mark delivers a different emphasis and meaning for the presented sentence. When these are consecutively used, GRA deductions will apply since the reader will not be clear as to what the actual meaning of the sentence is. Is it a statement or a continued listing of information? Such confusing considerations will hinder the ability of the writer to create coherent and cohesive sentences. This is a common problem found among ESL learners who do not seem to pay attention to the punctuation mark usage lessons in their ESL classes. As for the discussion itself, the comparison of the public opinion against the writer's personal opinion is not properly identified in the discussion. Grammar rules regarding position clarity are not applied when the main discussion format is not used. The discussion format required being "public v. personal opinion" discussed over 2 paragraphs. The main writing should be indicative of public support that one opinion and why the writer opposes it and public support for the contrasting opinion and why the writer supports it. General discussion presentations, though accepted in the test, limit the scores that can be awarded due to the lack of opinion separation and discussion development.

***Task 1, Ielts writing, line chart*** ## The changes in ownership of electrical appliances The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. The charts given illustrate the usage of electrical devices and the number of hours used for housework per household in one country over a period of 99 years. Overall, the proportion of electrical appliances used rose over the period shown. The proportion of refrigerator and vacuum cleaners took the lead in 2019, with 100% households using both devices. At the same time, the number of time spent on housework showed a reversed trend. In 1920, no household used refrigerators. By contrast, the proportion of people using washing machines and vacuum cleaners was much higher, with 40% and 30% respectively. Over a period of 99 years, the percentage of households with electrical devices climbed dramatically. All the households in that country utilized the refrigerator and vacuum cleaner, nearly 70% of households used the washing machine. Regarding the amount of time spent on housework, the trend was a fall. In 1920, people spent 50 hours per week on housework. The trend then showed a rapid decrease. In 2019, only 10 hours was employed for housework per week. The charts given illustrate the usage of electrical devices and the number of hours used for housework per household in one country over a period of 99 years. Overall, the proportion of electrical appliances used rose over the period shown. The proportion of refrigerator and vacuum cleaners took the lead in 2019, with 100% households using both devices. At the same time, the number of time spent on housework showed a reversed trend. In 1920, no household used refrigerators. By contrast, the proportion of people using washing machines and vacuum cleaners was much higher, with 40% and 30% respectively. Over a period of 99 years, the percentage of households with electrical devices climbed dramatically. All the households in that country utilized the refrigerator and vacuum cleaner, nearly 70% of households used the washing machine. Regarding the amount of time spent on housework, the trend was a fall. In 1920, people spent 50 hours per week on housework. The trend then showed a rapid decrease. In 2019, only 10 hours was employed for housework per week. *

Please post only one version of the essay next time. Multiple postings in the same thread will result in account suspension if done repeatedly. When indicating a plural number for the images, mention the actual number and the separate image title as clear reference points in the summary. This will help to add to the authority of the summary presentation. It will also help create the necessary mental picture for the reader. The writer will notice that the trending statement has lost clarity because of the lack of proper image separation in the summary overview. Once the reader is confused, the score will generally be less for the GRA score. The discussions are not well developed enough over 4 paragraphs. The presentations are too short to be considered truly reflective and analytical of the information provided. No paragraph should be comprised of one sentence or two sentences alone. As an analytical essay, this is poorly developed and written. The writer must focus on proper information presentation in his succeeding task 1 essays.

## Graph description task The line graph illustrates the quality of abroad travelers go to three different kinds of religions in a European country in 20 years period beginning in 1987 Overall, the number of people who visit the coast, mountains and lakes climbed together. However, the line between coast and mountains was still dramatical volatility. In 1987, the index of three kinds of zones the the coast, mountains and lakes have 40, 20, and 10 thousands citizens, perspective. Five years later, the number of overseas traveling characters go to the coast had slightly decreased, 5% approximately. In contrast, the mountains and lakes one rose to 25%. In 2002, the plenty of foreign dwellers who visit to the lakes had dramatically increased three times higher than 1992's figure. But it fell quite sharp to 50% in 2007. According to the index of the coast and lakes line in 2007, it showed that former climbed sharply to reach a highest ranking by 35% and the latter had slightly rose to 35%, accounted for the third ranking

The essay will get a failing score due to the poor writing abilities of the writer. He has obvious problems with word choice and thus, word usage. He is using improper vocabulary throughout the essay which affects the clarity and accuracy of his analysis and reporting presentation. These problems, when combined, leave the writer withh a failing GRA score because his report is not comprehensible to the reader. The difficulty in understanding his work will cause a non-passing C+C score as well. the paragraphs are neither cohesive nor coherent at this point. The analysis also lacks references to the overlapping points in the graph that represent certains instances of equal visitor count for certain sectors. The writer must focus on improving his vocabulary at this point because that is the aspect that affects his overall scoring ability.

## International graduates from Canadian unviersities (2001-2006) **The graph below shows the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.** The graph demonstrates the percentage change in the number of overseas students graduating from different universities in eight Canadian provinces. Overall, most provinces, except Alberta, experienced an upward trend throughout the period. While New Brunswick remained at the highest percentage until the end of the period, there were many changes among the provinces having lower rates in the ranking. Specifically, in 2001, all provinces had a low percentage of international graduates. New Brunswick's proportion was by far the highest one at that moment with almost 7%. Ontario, on the contrary, was left behind by other provinces as its proportion was around 3%, which was half as much as New Brunswick and slightly smaller than New Founderland and Labrador, whose percentage of global alumni was 3.5%. Nevertheless, in 2006, nearly all parts of Canada witnessed a dramatic increase in the percentage of foreign students graduating from Canadian universities. New Brunswick still had the highest proportion of international graduates with 12%, but it was New British Columbia that made the biggest progress when reaching 10 percent of overseas graduates, thus outracing Nova Scotia in 2006. On the other hand, Alberta encountered a one percent decrease in its proportion compared to that in 2001. \*\*Please help me check this essay. Your feedbacks mean a lot to me. Thank you in advance. * *International graduates, Canadian universities, 2001–2006*

The summary overview fails to properly recognize the type of graph provided because it used a cut and paste identifier from the original summary. There needs to be a change in the image title when it is restated. In this case, the addition of the word "bar" to indicate the type of measurement used in the graph would have made a huge difference in the scoring for that section. As for the trending paragraph. A rundown of all 9 countries would have been needed since that is part of the overview of the given image. A more appropriate trending statement, that could reflect the provinces in the list would have added to the scoring potential of the paragraphs. While the word count is a little over the maximum word count, it is not so much over the count that it would affect the 20 minute writing allowance. However, having read the report, I feel that the writer could have done a little more editing to shorten the presentation. It could have been completed in 180 words instead. Since the essay is scored on its concise presentation through the C+C consideration, the writer should have strived to accomplish the shorter but clearer presentation format. Good job reporting though.

In some countries, the elderly are of great appreciation, while in others, the young are considered more valuable. From my point of view, although the progress of a nation depends heavily on young adults, older people should still be appreciated for their dedication in the past and the valuable experience they provide for the younger generation. On the one hand, young people are significant in national development. There is little doubt that the young comprise the majority of the workforce, and because of this, they offer public services like education, healthcare, infrastructure, and security. Without these services, it is unlikely for any nation to function properly, let alone develop. In addition, young people are innovative, diligent, and passionate about working to create breakthroughs in many areas. Therefore, the young should be valued and provided with favorable conditions to work effectively and become contributing members of society. On the other hand, I firmly believe that under no circumstances should older people be depreciated. This is simply because they deserve it; like young people nowadays, the seniors used to make every possible contribution to the growth of their countries. Thus, as they grow older and lose the ability to work, they should still be treated with great gratitude. Not to mention, the elderly also have wide experience and invaluable lessons about life. They can help the youths overcome obstacles and guide them to the right path in life. In conclusion, while it is apparent that the younger generation plays a key role in the development of a country, it is undeniable the elderly should be respected because of their wholehearted dedication to their country and their vast amount of knowledge.

The prompt restatement and writer's opinion will be considered quite impressive in this presentation. The discussion paraphrase is well structured and on point. It properly merged and presented the opposing ideas in a complex manner. It shows a strong discussion foundation. However, the actual discussion paragraphs prove to a problem. When asked to discuss both views and give an opinion, expect the need to use a comparative discussion format. That is because the clarity of the writer's opinion will depend upon how well he opposes or supports a public point of view. The examiner will be looking for the use of correct pronouns to help with the discussion clarity. The pronouns are missing in this presentation. General discussion points are often misconstrued as coming only from the writer's opinion so a clarification as to who is thinking what often helps with the coherence of the discussion presentation. Aside from the reasoning paragraphs that needs work, the opening and closing statements are applaudable. These are the kinds of paraphrases that help increase the essay score. In this case, that aid was hindered by the reasoning paragraphs. Still, good job !

***Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.*** ## What is your opinion Choosing to maintain or not is a preference. While some people resist with stability, however, I believe that we should have another point of view in becoming more flexible day by day. On the one hand, people who greet new things outside are more creative, not only seize the opportunities for themselves but also benefit for communities. It is obvious to see that their interests are not in stereotype, such as paintings or making relationships. To achieve this, they curious about the diversity of the world, which input human being' minds with innovative and contracted ideas. Therefore, in consciousness, equivalent things are attracted to these characteristics from various aspects of life. In the workplace, by their agible in solving customer complaints, the boss would be satisfied and maneuver his or her to play an vital role in the company. As the type of their personality they are, their relationship and success are increased. In my opinion, it is necessary to recognise the movement in each slice of life. Not only is fogy habit at the expense of a person's lifetime, but also the development of society. Industrial revolution 4.0 nowadays is a good example, where innovation and renewability are welcomed. In order to adapt with the new twenty-first century, having a readiness to horizon knowledge by learning from objects and events of life is compulsory. If not, people who are rigid with this instruction might not have priority in social class, as they are left behind. In consequence, when traditional methods and also the obsolete [mnvc1] professions are replaced by machines, when it comes to recruitment, there is little or no light for them; the recruiter might comment narrow minded in the note. In conclusion, changing is an brilian option due to the better fate the option arranges.

The opening rephrasement of the original presentation left me highly confused. It is obvious that the writer understood the original presentation but, he has a problem with synonym accuracy and thought presentation in this particular section. The presentation was difficult to decipher / follow as the essence of the original topic was lost in the translation. Perhaps the writing made sense in the native language of the writer, but it really did not translate to English well. I was left with questions like: Choosing to maintain what? What does stability have to do with doing the same things and avoiding change? How is flexibility relevant to this discussion? These questions will lead the writer to receive a failing preliminary GRA score since the reader was left confused about the paragraph presentation. This is not a good occurence since this means the GRA score will begin with a failing mark. The LR score of the writer will also get failing marks because he is not using the correct words to represent his thoughts. He also uses archaic English such as fogy, which is not used in everyday modern English. It is almost like he just opened a dictionary, looked up a word meaning and decided to use it, regardless of whether it is used properly in the sentence / paragraph or not. These mistakes affected the coherence of the overall paragraph, leading to another failing score. Since the writer is not fully defending his opinion over 2 paragraphs, the cohesiveness of the paragraphs are also affected, resulting in non passing marks throughout all the scoring sections. I do not even need to comment on the concluding paragraph to come to the conclusion that the writer has show tremendous effort in the development of this paper, but without proper writing guidance, he produced a failing score essay.

***Some people believe that keeping pets is beneficial while others believe that it is a bad idea.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion. In today's society, raising an animal like a dog or cat at home is a norm. While some say having domestic animals brings about merits, others argue the opposite. In my opinion, having pets is an overall positive practice due to the great psychological advantages enjoyed by owners. On the one hand, it can be argued that having pets should not be favourable for the reason that it can get very unhygienic and different bacteria may enter the house via pets. Because animal brains are basically not as developed as human ones, their level of awareness is accordingly lower. As a result, they can make people's house unclean and dirtier. For example, dogs can roll in the mud outside and step straight into the house, lying on the sofa without knowing that it can irritate the owners. As the outside environment is riddled with all kinds of dangerous bacteria, it is likely that those animals contain some in their bodies and leave some anywhere they go through. Therefore, the worst-case scenario is that humans may contract some diseases from their very own pets. On the other hand, I believe that keeping pets is still a good choice due to the positive mental state people can obtain from their company. As pets have no judgements or discrimination, people often feel completely relieved around them and can live to their true selves. In addition, since animals can not speak, or at least can not communicate using the language of human beings, they become sympathetic friends with whom humans can have complete confidence to share their deepest feelings. This is no doubt a great relief to the owners and can significantly improve their mental health. Furthermore, exposure to bacteria is proven to actually strengthen our immune system while wild animals are mainly blamed for dangerous viruses, not pets. In conclusion, while the unhygienic conditions of pets might be a real problem, my own view is that keeping pets should be encouraged for psychological reasons.

Since the given topic clearly indicates opposing views about the keeping of pets, it is inaccurate for the writer to claim that keeping pets is a norm in our current society. This is a prompt misdirection that has altered the discussion basis of the original presentation. This inaccurate restatement will receive a failing score consideration. This personal opinion should not be the opening sentence of this presentation because of the negative effects in the restatement considerations. It is irrelevant to the given discussion. It should not be there at all. Only the last 2 sentences properly relate to the original discussion considerations. The lack of proper GRA representation in relation to pronouns have resulted in an essay that only reflects a personal opinion regarding the topic rather than the required comparison of opinions. How does the public view the first opinion? Why? Explain. What is the writer's opinion of the same POV? Why? Explain? These are the questions that should be responded to in each of the paragraphs that discusses the public opinion. Otherwise, the essay will be scored based on an under developed presentation. The need for pronoune usage of the third and first person kind must be stressed throughout this discussion.

## funding arts or education? It is a common belief that government support for the arts should be cut back to increase funding for education. I completely agree with this view for the following reasons. To begin with, money spent on education is barely enough. Most schools in developing and underdeveloped countries are either poorly equipped or equipped with dilapidated facilities. This slows down students' study progress as they cannot approach school subjects properly. Take students in Nigeria as an example, the majority of students there have no access to computers and internet connection. This limits children's opportunities to learn IT, which requires at least a set of computers. On top of that, while education is a necessity, art is rather a luxury. Although it is argued that artworks serve to educate people about the culture, history, and heritage of a country and also act as landmarks or talking points for visitors and tourists, their importance is incomparable to that of education. Ensuring the quality of education at all levels is essential to produce professionals who can serve the nation better, playing an important role in the development of a country. However, if art is a nation's top priority, they will only receive temporary benefits from visitors and tourists, which are an unstable source of income. To conclude, although education plays a vital role in the progress of a country, funding for education is rather low. For these reasons, I firmly believe that higher amounts of money should be spent on education instead of the arts.

The writer has done a very good job in discussing his supporting opinion points. The reasons provided are sound and well explained to the reader. The examiner will take note of this and apply the correct C+C score to the reasoning sections.However, the C+C will be slightly limited in scoring range because of 2 reasons: 1. The prompt restatement was delivered clearly. However, the personal opinion does not offer the summary of supporting reasons. This resulted in only a partly clear opinion presentation. The subjects for the opinion should be indicated as a part of the opinion statement at all times. 2. The concluding summary forgot to indicate a reasoning restatement. The restatement would have helped the essay meet the minimum 40 word count for the reverse paraphrase section at the end. Not worry though, the essay will still get a passing score, just not as high as it could have been.

Technological advancements have revolutionized the market recently. Whilst a wide range of individuals opine that state-of-the-art technology has been conducive to shopping today, others are frowned upon. I subscribe to the former notion. This essay will elaborate on both sides and my perspective. To commence with, the rationales why numerous people hold the opinion that e-commerce is nothing to get excited about, and even presents several troubles vary. Firstly, customers are liable for being fraught with problems of delay in the delivery. It probably takes more some days for their purchases to reach their hand, which seems to be a real nuisance to those who urgently need something on special occasions such as Christmas and Tet holiday when sales volumes are likely to increase. In contrast, should individuals purchase in a brick-and-mortar store, they can receive it at once. Secondly, sending goods back would be a big headache because there have been striking variations between return policies of manifold e-commerce shops. Packaging, for instance, can pose minor problems. Worse still, it would appear that in some cases you have to bear the cost of delivery. Nevertheless, I am in favor of the opinion that shopping is increasingly facilitated by the proliferation of technology. The first justification is that prospective buyers may be empowered to achieve some substantial savings. When visiting boutiques, sales assistants tend to lure them into purchasing unnecessary items with clever advertising. That shoppers get to proceed at their own space, however, may enable them to resist the urgent to purchase everything. Moreover, those can also avail themselves of coupons from retail stores and free shipping, aiming to buy at bargain prices and decrease full amounts. The second reason is that online shopping could alleviate the transmission of pathogens. To be specific, it can ensure effective social distancing and prevent community spread, thereby exerting a positive influence on societies during the COVID-19 pandemic. Take me as an example, only with one click did I overcome onerous quarantine at home with a view to avoiding being potentially exposed to COVID -19 cases. To sum up, I suppose that simplification in e-commerce business powered by cutting-edge technology can be ascribed to assistance in saving money and a substantial reduction in health and safety risks.

Do not refer to recent technological advancements in the discussion since there was no such reference in the original prompt. Just remove the word "recently" and the restatement would be more appropriate. There is a confusion presented in the mention of the second point of view. That sentence is improperly structured. It should have said "Others frown upon this practice". When you mentioned the point of view that you "subscribe to", then the next sentence should have been the reason why you support that point of view. The repetition of the discussion instructions will result in a lower score since the writer's opinion remained unsupported in the thesis presentation. Focus more on the clarity of the reasoning basis than the presentation of reasons. I found myself highly confused by the constant reasoning, but little explained information to support it. The paragraph ended up being full of reasons, but lacking in clarity of thought and explanation development. The fact that the sentences were not well formed also added to this jumbled discussion paragraph. Next time, think of a good reason, explain the public opinion, then tell the reader what you think of that opinion. The examiner is looking for thought clarity, not reasoning numbers. The personal opinion discussion is well developed. I am impressed, even as the sentence structures are imperfectly written. However, the lack of proper public opinion referencing in relation to the 2nd discussion point will be a scoring drawback for this opinion paper. The writer should be using the 3 paragraph format presentation that works on explaining the 2 public opinions separately before presenting his own opinion in support of a public perception. As far as the score will go, the essay may get a low but passing score because of the missing discussion point and GRA problems. If the writer will focus on discussion clarity instead of reasoning number, he may improve his scores in his next essay.

## IELTS task 2: CONSUMER GOODS & ENVIRONMENT The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? It is said that the output increments, over the past decades, have devastated the nature immensely. While the growing number of factories play an integral part in causing the massive loss of habitats, the expansion of materials for exploiting does significantly contribute to a higher level of pollution. Hence, the authority ought to encourage raising awareness in human beings about how the planet Earth might suffer from because of industrialization. Initially, the enviroment may have to face severe consequences owing to the abrupt growth of industries. In other words, the introduction of new factories means that businesses are obliged to replace the existing natural lands in which many wild animals used to live, or farming plantations situated. If this trend develops to an overloaded extent, creatures in the Earth will take risk of extinction since they have lost places where they got accustomed to finding their sources of food or safe shelter for hibernation. Another highlting reason for this is how more frequently people seek natural resources nowadays. In retrospect, when this planet once remained healthy, poaching or hunting for ingredients of manufacture occured not so occasionally as today. For instance, non-renewable resources such as coal and water force has increasingly been exploited in an attempt to sustain their profound demands for energy supply, endengering pollution to not only the air by exhaust fumes but also to the water by discharged untreated waste. Besides, it is advisable that quality education should be applied on dwellers. In this day and age, a myriad of humans remain unaware of this controversial dilemma; the government ought to teach them, especially the young generations, how non-environmentally-friendly can consumer goods become. If the young, who tend to go green and adovacate conservation practices, had been well-informed enough, a plethora of destructive actions would have been protested against, thereby being forced off. In conclusion, how abruptly industrialization enhances as well as the overuse of resources can be considered as various potential causes. It is also recommended that people should carry out educating every person carefully so that this development can be put an end to. Thanks for reading, I am really looking forward to your feedback!

The opening sentence of the restatement fails to accurately give the writer's version of the original topic. It does not refer to an actual subject and only offers a general statement that is only somewhat related to the given discussion. Using heavy sounding words in that sentence did not help his score because of the lack of writing or thought clarity in the presentation. It created a diffucult to understand overall paragraph which would result in a failing score in 2 relevant sections. As for the discussion, the writer did not follow the correct writing format either since he wrote 3 reasoning paragraphs when the required number was only for 2 cohesively discussed topics. The overwriting will be another reason why the essay will fail. It contains far beyond the 300 maximum word requirement, which clearly indicates a lack of proper content editing for coherent discussion paragraphs. There was no need for 2 reasons covering 2 paragraphs. The writer should have aimed for cohesive writing through the use of one paragraph that perfectly blended 2 related reasons. Sentence structures are off for the most part. The grammar is not well written and shows a lack of proper word usage for the most part. The writer needs to learn more about grammar usage in relation to writing rules in an overall format. I cannot pinpoint just one section for improvement because it needs to be a full skill development on the writer's part.

## the process for recycling plastic bottles The flow chart illustrates the procedure of recycling plastic containers. In general, this process consists of nine steps which are happened in several places. As can be seen from the flow chart, to begin with, plastic containers are disposed of and put into recycling bins, which are collected to recycled trucks. Then, plastic bottles which are gathered to these trucks are transported to a recycling centre. Next, at the recycling centre, plastic bottles are separated from metal, plass or other non-recyclable rubbish; also, they are sorted by the type of plastic they are made from. After that, plastic bottles which are recyclable are compressed into cubic bales in order to be more easy to transport. Turning to the next five steps of the flow chart, plastic cubic bales are then delivered to a factory where they are ground into plastic flakes. Before these flakes are melt to form plastic pellets, they are washed to remove liquid, food or chemical residue. Once plastic pellets are ready to be heated and bundled up, they are packed into raw material. After that, plastic raw material is distributed to many different factories where this type of material is manufactured to plastic items and other kinds of products. Then, these products are used and placed in recycling bin to start a new cycle of recycling.

Always keep in mind that there is a 20 minute time limit for perfecting the information presentation in this task. Such a time frame only allows for 200 words written in the final form. The draft being composed of no more than 150 words to allow for 50 additional words during the final edit. This essay obviously did not pass through a final editing form. When writing the trending statement for an illustrative diagram, the writer should make sure to use the starting procedure and ending procedure point along with the number of steps involved. Failure to do so creates a useless / non-informative trending reference. It does not help the report reach a good preliminary score. One cannot refer to "as can be seen in the chart" or "turning to" since the reader is assumed to not have any access to the image being reported on. Therefore, the references should be in a factual report format, without needing the reader to look at any references to understand the report. This is not an acceptable starting discussion form for the reporting paragraphs.

## money spent on kids in Great Britain The line chart show regard the money spent by parents on their children's sports and the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain from 2008 to 2014. Overall, we can easily see that the average money parents spend on children's sports steadily increasing over each years. In fact, parents were taking care of about healthy of their children more. In 2008 year, parents spend around 20 pounds on children's sports each month. This amounts money increased year by year. In 4 years, from 2010 to 2014, this spending increased gradually over years and reaching 32 pound in 2014 year. Look at the number of children participation sport, we can see that have a similar predisposition with spending of parents. The first time of the research, the number of children play athletics and swimming was on a low, under 1 millions and 2 millions children respectively. By contract , football was a sport more popular than athletics and swimming with the number of player was 8 millions. However, behold significant change of the player of both athletics and swimming then football was still stable rose, from 7.5milions to 9 millions player over the following 6 years. While the number of athletics player have a dramatic increase from 1 millions to around 5 millions player. And children participation swimming had more than double from 2 millions to 4 millions.

There is an error in the image representation within the summary overview. Since reference is made to 2 different sets of information, it is safe to assume that there are at least 2 line graph presentations provided. However, the version that was written indicates only 1 image, with 2 different information references. Something that is not possible and will confuse the reader. The summary overview is a failure. Even the trending statement is inaccurate as it focuses only on the expense of the parents when there should also be a reference to the number of children participating in sports. The writer has failed to provide an accurate task summary, the first paragraph will result in a non-passing starting score due to information inaccuracies. The overall presentation is scattered, lacking in proper analysis, and missing pertinent information references. The writer has not provided the examiner with a reason to give him a passing score. The work provided is so problematic in terms of analysis and sentence presentation that it can only receive a non passing mark overall.

## switching from one work to another People have different views about whether individuals should continue their line of work or not. This essay will articulate both views along with my perception. On the one hand, there are several reasons why a person should stay in the same job for life. Firstly, commiting to one work ensures stable income and life-insurance.To be clearer, every company must legally pay not only health insurances but also proper salaries for their employees as long as those workers have commitment to work for the company over a year. Therefore, those employees who have decent job with stable income are more likely to have no insecurities about finacial problems or life securities thanks to the company's ensurance in the long term. Secondly, employees who consistently pursue one certain occupation are more likely to get promotion opportunities after years experiencing various tasks, which not only benefits themselves in terms of working experience but also brings valuable contribution to company, enterprise and society as a whole. However, some might argue that switching jobs could bring more advantages for a myriad of reasons. Firstly, workers changing their jobs regularly could be equipped with a wide-ranging variety of professional skills. Therefore, they will be better prepared for the new worl entailed at any position, which means that companies can save their time and money on training new employees. Secondly, moving to a new job allows people to broaden their horizons in numerous fields. For instance, people who do various jobs whereby they can enlarge their social circles by striking up new relationship with new colleagues, which offers multipiled advantages to bussiness and life. In conclusion, although both views have its own pros, I believe that staying for one certain profession is more beneficial for worker, company and society in the long run.

The prompt restatement is not related to the original prompt. The writer has changed the topic from the decision of people to work in long term jobs, or changing jobs frequently. It has nothing to do with whether a person should continue his line of work or not. So the writer has already failed in the task restatement aspect of the first paragraph. By failing to indicate what one advantage and disadvantage of each point of view offers, the writer has failed the preliminary scoring aspect of the test. There is no appropriate writer opinion in relation to the advantage and disadvantage of each. This is not a prompt that follows the discuss both views and give your opinion discussion format. The reasoning paragraphs are relevant so that means the writer just did not know how to properly restate the prompt topic. He also had no clear idea of how to handle the direct questions provided. Therefore, his reasoning paragraphs will help his score, but not necessarily make it a passing one since he failed to edit and correct sentence, grammar, and spelling errors in his preentation prior to submission.

## newly built houses should follow the old style or people can choose freely It is sometimes argued that buildings which were recently constructed in the local regions should follow the form that used in old ones, while others think that there should be no rules and people can choose their house style freely. I believe that building houses should not be constrained by a framework, which should be creative and expressed in their own life. On the one hand, the principal reason why some people think that new constructions should be designed based on the old ones in local areas is that this helps to preserve the traditional and cultural values, which could boost the number of visitors to the region. Take Hoi An, which is known as one of the most beautiful cities in Asia, as an example. Local people here are encouraged to preserve their own houses or construct new buildings following the traditional architectural style. As a result, Hoi An has become a popular tourist destination and attracted many visitors. On the other hand, I would argue that people should have the right to make their own decision when choosing a style for their houses. The first reason is that some people do not like the style of old buildings in their neighborhood. Another reason is the cost of the houses. It is better to build a modern house rather than one which has to be old and historic. Moreover, people who build houses freely with their style can improve their creativity and architecture skill. In conclusion, many people think that new houses should be designed based on the old ones. However, I still hold my opinion that people should have the right to build their favorite house

The discussion is incomplete. The consideration for the second public opinion is missing from the presentation. Thus, the essay will be scored based on only 2 out of the 3 required discussion points. This is precisely the reason why I ask my students to refrain from using the 3 paragraph discussion presentation. They will always forget to discuss one of the 3 required points in the essay. It is always best to use the compare and contrast via personal opinion format instead. Using that format, the writer will achieve the discussion requirement of: 1. Explain why the public supports the opinion 2. What the writer thinks / how the writer views that opinion By using these 2 considerations for the discussion paragraphs, the strongest and most responsive reasons can be fully developed within 2 paragraphs. This essay might get a low passing score but that is unlikely since the discussion presentation is not complete.

## the scarcity of good news coverage in the media In this day and age, there is a tendency that media coverage is solely centered around issues and urgent affairs instead of good news. While some believe that it would take its toll on individuals and the general community, I would argue that it has positive effects in this regard as well. Undeniably, the world is already stressful so if more and more negative news becomes widely available, people might descend into emotional chaos as a result of overwhelmingness. For example, the proliferation of rising unemployment rate would subject job seekers to serious mental illnesses such as depression because it would adversely demotivate their morale. By contrast, the availability of optimistic information published on social media would significantly diminish a sense of demotivation or intense stress arising from unpalatable truth as it possibly shifts the general society to positive mood, creating a motivation to go through hardships. To elaborate, although environmental problems are getting worse and impairing people's life, the widespread news about future plausible solutions adopted to alleviate them would drastically settle people into a belief that the environment could be better, sooner or later. However, I also believe that the focus of media on essential problems could play an integral role in making people and the community to face and deal with them, therefore producing a better result. To begin with, nowadays there are urgent issues that need quick actions to be taken and adequate information from news sources to enhance people's understanding, otherwise it would be more and more serious later on. For example, if the general society are well-informed about the air contamination and its irreversible damage caused by themselves, all inhabitants could take measures timely to reduce their carbon footprint by using eco-friendly transports such as buses or trains. Without appropriate newspaper, people and the society, however, would never know how severe such problems are and the general air quality would be accelerating as a consequence. All things considered, while I acknowledge the negative impacts of media centering around issues, I also understand its positive sides.

The essay will qualify for an automatic failing score. That is an accurate assessment based upon how the writer proves to not have understood the prompt requirements when it comes to the opinion question / required response. The guide question was framed as an extent question. The writer delivered a response based on a positive or negative response instead. The essay has failed to respond to the task question since the provided response is totally unrelated to the question. It is not just an incorrect response format issue but also, a discussion alteration problem. This will result in an overall failing score regardless of the discussion presentation and other scoring considerations. He must become more familiar with task 2 question and response styles to avoid future unrelated response errors.

## how elderly people in the United States spent their free time (1980 to 2010) The line chart depicts information about comparing the proportion of leisure activities that older people had done in their spare time over a period of 30 years. Overall, watching TV was the highest recreational activity of elders in the US. In addition, while the proportion of theatre activity decreased moderately, the opposite was true for four other activity forms. In 1980, the most popular activities were watching TV and theatre, with each accounting for 60% and 50%, respectively. Over the following 20 years witnessed a significant climb in the percentage of watching TV activity, reaching a peak of 70% in 2000 before dropping slightly to 65% in 2010. By contrast, senior citizens who took part in theatre activity fell considerably, which accounted for 20% in 2000 but this rose sharply and end at 45% in 2010. The subsequent common three recreational activities that the old were the most favorite were reading, hiking, and surfing the internet, which attracted 30%, 20%, and 5%, respectively, in 1980. Over the next 30 years, there was a dramatic jump in the rate of hiking activity, which made up 60% in 2000, and this activity continued to lead strongly and reach a peak point of 80% in 2010. While the rate of surfing the internet had an upward trend and attracted 15% in 2000, the opposite was true for a reading activity, hitting a trough of 20%. Since then, both these activities increased dramatically to reach 50% and 60 respectively, in 2010.

The writer has not completed an analysis that will suit the 20 minute writing time allowance. By writing almost 250 words, the writer is sure to cut into the 40 minute writing time of the task 2 essay. In order to meet the 20 minute limitation, he should not write more than 200 words. When writing a task 1 essay, it is important tha the information be presented accurately in a short form. That means more meaninful and illustrative words need to be used to express the information provided, without being too flowery or creative. Be straight / direct to the point in every paragraph. As an important aspect of the information overview, the country involved should be mentioned in the first sentence, not the second. That is to help establish the foundational information from the image. It helps to avoid confusion regarding image source data. It appears that the writer just kept using words throughout the essay to help lengthen the presentation without realizing that there is a maximum and minimum word requirement. It is important to note that the longer the essay, the more chances there will be of presenting confusing information, inappropriate word usage, or sentence structure errors. All of these problems can be skirted by simply keeping the essay short as required of an analytical reporting essay. There is no need for dramatic flair in task 1 writing. It need not be too creative nor descriptive either. Write for the professional audience that will be reading the paper.

***Nowadays, a lot of offices have open-space design instead of separate rooms.*** ## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? It is observed that several companies are increasingly inclined to adopt offices with open space in lieu of separate rooms for their employees. While this practice could present issues relating to adverse risks to health, I contend that the fostering of closer collaboration among colleagues outweigh the such disadvantages. On the one hand, working in an open-space environment may leave staff susceptible to contagious disease. As they are situated closer together, a great deal of contact on a daily basis is inevitable. This, in the process, turns out to be a genuine cataclysm to the spread of various pathogens. A case in this point is Corona epidemic disease since companies applying open-space design witnessed a substantial increase in their employees' positive cases which could be alleviated in case of separate rooms. Consequently, their productivity was detrimentally affected, even leaving the companies bankrupted. As it shows, open offices have to confront the health problem. On the other hand, I believe that its social consolidation may stand a testimony to this innovation. Obviously, congregating in the same room could create ample opportunities for staff to converse with each other. This, therefore, could foster great inclusion in that employees could confide their troubles to their colleague as well as solve their problems relating to workload. A plethora of large companies nowadays divide their human resource into such major brand as Marketing or Administrative where specialized staff could work together in a large space. By that way the firms could not only engender better social relations but also contend with problems systematically. In conclusion, while applying open-space design to offices instead of separate rooms could face with several downsides, these are outweighed by the stimulation of collaboration and inclusion between employees. It is predicted that separate rooms will be phased out to make room for the open-space environment.

Try to avoid using any words that were used in the original presentation so that no questions will be posed as to the ability of the writer to use words beyond a cut and paste process. It is important that the writer have a vast synonyn library for various English words to accomplish this. Build the vocabulary to help create that impression next time. The writer will not get a truly impressive score with this presentation because the comparison discussion format is incorrect. Since this is an A v. D representation, the idea behind the 2 reasoning paragraphs would be to present, based on the writer's opinion, reasons that disadvantages have been misunderstood since these are actually advantages. That is the idea process behind the paragraph. Do not present a disadvantage and leave that discussion as is. Prove why the opposite of that opinion is true. Support your statement by showing how you consider the discussion differently so that your opinion appears to be the reliable one.

## spendings in japan and malaysia The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of household spending in terms of 5 categories in Japan and Malaysia in 2010. Overall, the initial impression is the Japanese and the Malaysian spent most of their money on 3 categories: housing, food and other goods/services. It can also be seen that health care accounted for the least spending in both countries. In Malaysia households, over a third of citizens' budget went on housing. This figure was higher than that of Japanese, which took up 21% of their total expenditure. Japanese householders pay their largest portion on a range of other goods and services, at 29% of their total spending, which was slightly more than that of the Malaysian. In terms of food, the figures for both nations were similar, at 24% and 27% for Malaysia and Japan respectively. When it comes to transport, about a fifth of the Japanese householders' money was allocated into this category, which doubled that of the Malaysian. Health care consisted of smallest percentage of total expenditure in both nations, with 6% and 3% for Japan and Malaysia respectively. *

I would not use the word "illustrate" in reference to the images. The better reference point would be "compare" since that is what the data provided is for, a comparison of measurements covering the 5 aspects. If the writer can indicate the function of the images, the clearer the purpose of the images will be in the summary. It will fulfill the requirements for the summary overview in a more efficient manner. There are only 4 out of 5 trending observations made. It makes that section seems less developed than it should be. Next time, pick one target for the trend and present a high and low for only one topic. The rest of the comparisons can be saved for the actual reporting and analysis paragraphs. Malaysia is the country being indicated for the topic. The people from that country are called "Malaysians". That is the reference that needs to be used when referring to the resident's of the country in the second paragraph. Familiarize oneself with the way citizens of various countries are referred to. Incorrect references affect the LR and GRA score. householders' The reference is for a plural form of the word so the proprietarial apostrophe reference should not be used in this presentation.

## car ownership in the UK 1975-2005 line graph illustrates the proportion of car ownership in the UK over a period of 30 years from 1975 to 2005. Overall, the initial impression is that the percentage of people possessing 2 and 3 cars showed an upward trend. It can also be seen that having one car was the most common situation during the period given. In 1975 people having one car accounted for 45% of the car ownership. This was followed by that of no-car owners at around 43%. In the next 10 years, both the categories witnessed a roughly similar trend. While the figure of 1 car experienced a substantial decline to its all-low time of 37%, there was fewer citizens without cars, with its figure dropping to 25%. Toward the end of the period, the proportion of 1-car owners experienced a considerable rebound to its same figure in 1975. Those not using a car, in a meantime, bucked the trend with 3% decrease. Having 2 and 3 cars made up 7% and 3% respectively at the beginning of the period. Over the following 30 years, the same pattern was evident in those having 2 and 3 cars, with the latter hitting its peak of 17%, the latter peaking at roughly 9%. *

Watch out for the capitalization rule in the presentation. Never neglect to capitalize the first word of every sentence, specially when it relates to the topic sentence of the paragraph. Avoid implying any visual reference to the image because the reader is assumed to not have a copy of the image and therefore, will need to imagine the references being analyzed and described in the report. While the figure of 1 car One car ownership. Always indicate what the reference point is. Just saying "1 car" has no meaning to the reader. Balance the paragraph presentations. Aim to always present 3-5 sentences for a thorough and balanced analysis discussion presentation. When one paragraph has only 2 sentences, it comes across as not being fully considered for the presentation. The writer has a problem with his sentence development in the presentations. He is using colloquial English without knowing how to properly structure the presentation, making it awkward and confusing for the native English speaking reader.

## Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years There is some dispute whether the advent computers was the most critical breakthrough in modern civilization. In my opinion, this statement is partly true as other innovations also play significant roles in human's life. On the one hand, with the creation of computers, humankind has subtantially benefited in various aspects of life. This is rooted in the fact that the modern equipment has faciliate work and daily life of bilions of people. Given the automation in all types of work, computers has enabled workers to reduce their workload, enhance productivity thus increase the number of output. Likewise, people witnessed improvement in our stardard of living. To illustrate, employees are now able to complete their tasks at their safe haven while taking care of their dependants, which is greatly attributed to the harness of their computers. Finally, invention of computer acts as a precedessor for many innovations for the time being. Internet, smart devices and various crucial applications are developed based on elements of computers. On the other hand, many modes of transport, healthcare development and inventtions in other industries are also significant. Given the enhancement in transportation, goods are delivered much faster, demand is quickly met with supply thus result in flourishment of individuals all over the world. Mass-production electric cars is envisioned to safeguard the nature from the detrimental impacts of burning fossil fuel, which contributes to the well-being of all living creatures. Furthermore, new breeds of medicines have saved milions of lives. One case in point is that Pfizer, the vaccines released in the middle of Covid epidemic has maintained numerous lives. Besides, the vision of deployment of new technologies such as artificial intelligence, robots and 3D printing has become more apparent which hold the key to the prosperity our societies. In the light of these fact, other innovations have their positive affects upon people, albeit the position of computers is irriplacable. The roles of each creation should be credited proportionaly to their impact on our world.

The reference to the timeline from the original needs to be more specific and related. "Modern Civilization" could refer to the 21st century or the previous century. Synonyms for century needs to be used in this case. Synonyms for the word include centenary, centennial, or centurial. Using the correct descriptive numeral reference properly in a sentence will show proper use of advance English words. The discussion paragraph should have proven the point of the writer by using 2 significant alternative, but computer related developments over the past century. There were actually 2 representations in the second paragraph that could have effectively explained the point of the writer, had he not wasted his first reasoning paragraph on an incorrect discussion point. By the way, he did not double check his spelling throughout the presentation. There are a few spelling errors that were left unchecked, resulting in a lower LR score since the writer did not know how to properly spell the word.

## Holding Olympic Games is an exciting event. ***Some people think it has positive effects while others argue it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.*** Olympic Games is an international sports event which attracts a great amount of interest. While it is said by some that this occasion has merits, others claim that such one does nothing useful other than wiping out a huge sum of money. In my opinion, despite its possible advantages, this practice is truly an extravagance. On the one hand, it is understandable why many people say such an event may exert positive impacts. Firstly, it provides the chance for professional athletes to prove themselves. Usually, the participants have to apply themselves to harsh training courses for the Olympics Games, the biggest competition on the planet. In return, they can bring honour to themselves and their country, making those hardworking years pay off. Secondly, this sports event can greatly promote physical activities. Matches of different types of sports are aired on television each time it takes place, which embeds an idea of how popular they are on an international scale. People, as a result, may be drawn to the high spirit prevalent all around the world and pay sporting more attention. However, others argue that the huge cost this event inflicts for the short period of time it is held is virtually pointless. During the preparation, modern sports facilities may have to be erected which use up an enormous amount of the national budget. Many of them, however, fall into disuse after the event, generating no revenue and even requiring upkeep to maintain their conditions. Consequently, they become a drain on the economy and even leave the country in debt. Given how those colossal investments in Olympics can be used for other rational purposes like education or healthcare, I agree that an event like this is a waste of money. Besides, local sporting events also can cultivate people's sporty behaviours, obviously with a lower level of investment. Accordingly, there is no need for more extravagant Olympics Games. In conclusion, despite some benefits this international event might have, my view is that this practice should not be kept going in the future since the cost of it is basically unbearable and of little avail.

I have constantly cautioned the students about opening the prompt restatement with an unrelated piece of information. In this case, the reference to interest in the games. There is no need to change the opening sentence target because it is not included in the original presentation. The prompt restatement is looking for information accuracy. That means, if the information is not included or referenced in the original prompt, it should not be placed in the restatement. In this case, I have repeatedly reminded this writer not to do this and yet, it is a constantly repeated error in every presentation made. There are no improvements to be found in the prompt restatement + opinion paragraph. The presentation is not properly developed in terms of reasoning. There was no need to use a comparative format for this discussion because the instruction clearly asks for the writer's opinion. That means the writer is required to present 2 supporting reasons in individual, fully developed paragraphs. Since the preentation uses a compare and contrast format, the writer will only receive a score for the paragraph that supports the provided opinion. The non supporting paragraph will not receive scoring considerations.

## finding out about the history of the house or building My essay Today's people are increasingly seeking the historical values of their houses. My essay shalle shed light on the underlying causes of this phenomenon. There are several rationals to account for the prevalence of seeking the history of their houses. The first and foremost is the sheer curiosity which mainly drives the public to search for the historical record of their houses. The rapid technological progress allows for the precise evaluation of the age of people's houses just based on the construction materials. Added to this is the longing for the increased values of their properties if there is any sign of their houses constructed on an area dating back the the glorious period of a dynasty during the course of national history. The historical significance of a house might be a great fortune which is sought tirelessly by today families. Considering the underlying causes of this phenomenon, there is a range of viable measures to facilitate the research for historical values of decades-old houses. The first feasible option would be turning to experts on history in their local residential areas who have long carried out in-depth research into the historic periods in their neighbourhood. The second alternative would be the use of scientific progress which presents a thorough analysis into the deep-rooted history of houses based on the remaning artfacts. In conclusion, people now are rushing to seek the historical values of their houses out of mere curiosity and in search of a great fortune with the availability of technological tools and prominent historians.

The history of the house should not be confused with the historical value of a residence. The prior relates to the ownership history of the structure, while the latter informs of a protected status of a house based on historical significance. The prior is what the discussion essay is about. The writer did not understand the actual topic, showing a lack of comprehension skills, which will immediately fail his score in the preliminary TA section. He does not answer the 2 questions at all that would have helped reiterate his understanding of the topic. What is the reason? How can these be found? Respond to the questions to create the opinion platform for the reasoning paragraphs. Do not repeat the discussion instructions. That does not add to the score of the paragraph. It reduces it instead as it does not help establish the scoring requirements for the paragraph. While vocabulary considerations are important, the tone of the paragraph must be that of an everyday discussion. Such discussions require the writer to avoid exaggerations or technical jargon in the presentation. Always remember to consider the audience of the essay. Write for the reader, not for the score. When one writes for the score, he will often find that he will miss the consideration marks because of the incorrect writing focus. These observations do not mean to say that the reasoning paragraphs are incorrect because they are. However, the paragraphs can be improved based on overall scoring considerations. Never focus on just one scoring aspect because increasing in one aspect means sacrificing the score in the other sections. All sections must have strong scores. An overall writing skilll development is necessary to achieve this.

***It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? It is a fact that many criminals are uneducated and thus unable to find a decent job. Due to this, many people say that incorporating education into incarceration is the optimal way to prevent those ex-offenders from recidivism after release. Personally, I completely agree that there is no better approach than this idea of bringing knowledge into jail. The first reason is that job training can give the lawbreakers a chance to start a crime-free life. Many criminals after being given back freedom feel completely lost in the outside society. They do not have the slightest idea of how to earn a living because of the lack of skills pertaining to any jobs. As a result, the stress to support themselves when the cost of living is ever-increasing can make them relapse into criminal behaviour again. However, by inmate education, the professional skillset is already equipped when the release date comes which will give those convicts a sense of confidence and self-reliance. Furthermore, it seems to me that when it comes to a solution to recidivism, any other pales into insignificance due to its ephemeral nature compared to how education can exert a long-lasting effect. Take post-prison monitoring as an example. This kind of measure will be downgraded gradually as time goes by, therefore, the possible threat is that the criminal will go on to another crime as the bad intention has taken root in his head. However, with rehabilitation programs and job training, this possibility will be greatly ruled out as wrongdoers are given a new purpose in life. This is enough to keep them away from descending into a criminal lifestyle again. In conclusion, I believe that education is the best measure in assisting poorly-educated convicts to integrate into society as it not only gives criminals the opportunity to land a job after release but also has a positive and lasting impact in the long run.

Do not refer to a statement of fact. It is incorrect to say an idea is factual and correct when no reference is made in the essay. Keep the general statement feel of the original presentation. No information is right, none is wrong either. There is only a statement of idea, nothing more. Since this is not an extent essay, the response is incorrectly formatted. This is a simple (dis)agree presentation. Learn to recognize the difference in discussion modes. Nothing should "seem" anything to the writer as this weakens his opinion statement. Either he supports the idea or not. There is no "probably" in the discussion. It will lower the TA score in relation to opinion clarity. Do not question your own opinion. The run-on sentence at the end of the concluding summary will not work. These need to be separated into at least 3 sentences. Run-on presentations will always result in failing GRA scores. The problems should be decreasing with your writing presentations by now. Yet more problems are coming up. Why is that? Are you truly listening to the lessons I am teaching or are you mixing teaching styles in your presentation which results in this kind of writing. If that is the case, you have to go back to the teacher whose writing style is more comfortable for you. I cannot continue to teach someone who is not listening to me. Listen to the teacher you believe in, who is obviously not me.

## evidence of global warming Severe floods and thunderstorms are other vulnerabilities that remain very loyal vicegerents of global warming. The raising thermometer evaporates invisible water droplets into the atmosphere, adding volume to the darkest clouds. When the angered sky punches the surface with its stored liquid, the Earth cries for help from the heavens. The soil erodes from the fruitful land like the peeling of the skin adjacent to the nails. While this degradation pushes the breathing beings to leave their forever-lived habitats, many drown in the monstrous flow of the water. The muddy and dirt-carrying body hits up homes, trees, and other infrastructure like a charging bull and destroys the lives of mankind. This catastrophe unleashes man to deadly health vulnerabilities. Surely, no one ever wants to experience such calamities frequently. It is now evident that global warming exposes man to lethal floods and thunderstorms.

When writing a descriptive paragraph, the author must remember to consider the audience that he is writing for. The wording or vocabulary used in the essay should be one that reflects the crowd that will be reading this statement. In this case, the writer has over done the word usage. It is not gared towards the student group that will be reading this essay. While it is nice to know that the writer knows advanced English vocabulary and he has a knack for writing creative pieces, the essay itself is problematic since it tends to over emphasize the discussion in the wrong manner. He should be sticking to everyday English words that can easily be understood by his peers. He has written a creative piece that is not a descriptive paragraph as is required by the presentation.

## write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the table the table shows the output of two factories in their toy production from 2003 to 2007. Factory A's output value steadily went up from 2003 to 2007. Increasing from 0.84 million in 2003 to 160 million in 2007, indicate a rise of 0.76 million. In the same period, factory B's output value, on the contract, sharply fell from 1.80 million in 2003 to 0.90 million, with a fall of 0.1 million each year. Although the output value in 2006 rose to 1.66, it dramatically decreased in 2007, indicating a fall of 0.76, From the table, we can see that factory A's output value in toy production kept growing while factory B' one dropped all the time. The cause of the decrease of factory B's output value must have been the poor management.

Since the writer wrote far less than the minimum 150 words, there is no possibility that this analysis can receive a passing score. A conscious effort to meet the word count should be made to prevent the failure of the essay due to word count percentage deductions. It will be impossible for this work to receive even a low passing score since it is improperly written, little analyzed, and shows a lack of care in developing the presentation. There is a lack of proper summary and there is no representation for the trending statement. These are 2 early scoring considerations that receive scores before the analyitical report is even considered by the examiner. Due to incorrect sentence and word formation, the writer cannot receive a passing GRA score either. He totally disregards English writing rules that cover how sentences are created (Each first word must start with a capital letter). As an analytical essay, I cannot say that this writer has made an effort to achieve a passing score. It is the work of someone who is not serious with his work and does not care whether he passes or fails the test.

## effects of playing video games Video games is a common things in nowadays, people can play on their phone or their PC and they can play in every devices in every time they wanted to. Some people think that playing video games is awful and it just wasting their time. This essay will discuss both views of this topic. There are 2 main problems about why they think video games is bad. Firstly, they can be easily rage at all when they got killed by someone or lost a match of that game. Most of gamers nowadays are the kids, they can play their favorites game on their parent's laptop or their phone at every moment even when they eating or they can even play video games at the restroom. In general, they can play in every single place and the kids will get rage so easily that they can broke everything in the house just because one random guy killed the kid due to the first problem I'm talking about right now. Secondly, the video games is so attractive that they can easily got addicted, I've seen on YouTube about the kid who was addicted to a Shooting Game and he's crazy right now. I can see that game addiction is more affective than the drugs which is crazy. However, some people do not think that video is wasting their time and bad as everyone see. Video games is the easiest way to learn a new language or you can learn something that you haven't know or heard before which is the most popular benefit. Video games is a good places to chill out with your friends and even your old friends, when you grew up, the video games is just a fun place to vibe, is not a try-hard game or took it seriously like you and your bros used to anymore. Now they only cares about chilling in-game and troll some people which is really really fun and have some unforgettable moments with them In conclusion, while people thinking playing video game is goof off and suck, I believe that people should see the advantages and have a great look of the video games

The prompt restatement is faulty for 2 reasons: 1. It does not restate the original topic based on the given discussion basis 2. The writer assumes that he can start his personal opinion discussion in the prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation These 2 errors will ensure that the TA score for this essay will be a failing one since it does not accomplish the requirements of the paragraph. The writer does not even offer his personal opinion at the end of the paragraph which is part of the standard response format for this discussion instruction. He is supposed to present the 2 topics, restated, within the reasoning paragraphs. The idea is to explain the reasons behind the public support of the opinion first, then indicate what he thinks of the presented opinion. That is where the "give your opinion" aspect of the discussion comes in. Try as the writer might to properly discuss the essay, the fact that he does not properly represent his personal opinion of both topics in relation to video games means that he has presented a faulty argument twice in the essay. While the essay might receive some scoring consideration, the lack of expected response format presentation will prove to be difficult to overcome.

Hi, I try to learn to write the IELTS writing exams. I would like to ask for help to check and give back to my writing. How can I improve my writings? because my goal is to score 7 in this section. Thank you for your help. **Topic: *Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.*** ## Do the advantages of shopping this way overweigh the disadvantages. Nowadays, the growth of the Internet makes it easier to purchase goods online, from books, tickets to groceries, etc. Even though there are some disadvantages of buying things on the Internet such as scammers, and goods are not strictly controlled by the government, the benefits of purchasing things online are overweighed. Scammers are one of the biggest problems when buying things online. When you look at online stores, many stores don't have certifications or physical addresses. They can sell things from their basement, their home, and the customers can not know. As a result, they can easily sell low-quality, fake products to the consumers without being caught, and the buyers can not do anything except leave bad comments. The sellers just make another account and the sequences continue. Moreover, the government can not control the sellers strictly. Online markets such as Lazada, and Shopee give the sellers the power to be unknown. They can erase their online footprint, which makes it the government so hard to find out where they are and how they get the goods. On the other hand, there are many advantages when come to shopping online. The best benefit is convenience. Buyers do not need to go anywhere, they can just stay at home, surf the Internet, and find a store that allows online purchases. For instance, a man from Vietnam can buy a pair of shoes from the USA without leaving his flat. Moreover, the products sold online are usually cheaper. Online shopping makes it easier for the sellers to reach out to the ideal customers so that the prices are usually lower. From my point of view, the benefits of buying things online are outranked the disadvantages. There are some ways to prevent bad things happen when shopping online such as examining the products before paying, checking the reviews, or only purchasing products from legal stores. It is necessary to add the point that the Internet is growing significantly, and at some points in the future, online shopping will be the main way to buy goods.

Okay, if this is the first essay you have ever written for the Task 2 portion of the test, then I can understand why the writing is confused and does not follow the required discussion parameters for the instructions provided. Kindly remember to time yourself while writing the practice essays. Set the timer to 40 minutes then write. You will find that between brainstorming, outlining, drafting, reviewing, and finally, editing the paper, you will not have time to write 346 words. The ideal is 250-300 words at all times. It is the magic number for the time provided. The one thing that you did right, although not in perfect English sentences, is the writing of the prompt restatement + writer's opinion. It was on track, provided an insight into the incoming discussion as it relates to the writer's opinion, and clearly represents the upcoming discussion. While the sentence structure and word usage has problems throughout the essay, I have to say that the writer was still able to provide explanations clearly, without confusing the reader. As for the problems in the writing, the scoring will be limited to that of an under developed essay presentation due to the incorrect discussion format used. Comparison essays are only used when the instruction is " Discuss both views" . It cannot be used anywhere else. For this particular discussion the writing should have focused on representing how disadvantages are actually advantages. The format is: Sentence 1: Disadvantage subject Sentence 2: Explain the disadvantage Sentence 3: Oppose the disadvantage Sentence 4: Explain why it is an advantage Sentence 5: Use a relevant example to close the paragraph. The same format may be used for an "advantage is a disadvantage" discussion as well. This is the format the examiner is looking for. This is the discussion that will be considered a fully developed presentation since there will be 2 paragraphs that discuss the topic in the same format. There will be a cohesive discussion present. The writer also needs to familiarize himself with the concluding summary presentation. A personal opinion in the final paragraph is considered a non-concluding presentation. The result of which will be failing overall score because the writer did not complete the test with the presentation of a concluding reverse paraphrase. Is there a chance the examinee can achieve his target score? Definitely. He shows a good grasp of the topic, which I hope will be the same for other topics in the test. By further developing his English sentence structure skills and working on providing the correct discussion format per essay instruction, he can slowly work his way towards meeting his ideal score.

## More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. ***Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*** Obesity rates around the world seems to be ever-increasing and some argue that by raising the amount of money people are having to pay for greasy fast food, the issue will be tackled. Personally, I totally disagree with this idea as little amount of change will be made and it may unneccesarily bring about a financial inconvenience for those who consider those types of foods as nice treatments at weekends. My belief is that if this idea is brought into effect, no pronounced difference will be experienced. People these days turn to fast food not just because of its appetizing look and good taste but also because of its fast nature. They are seriously caught up in the city rat race and there is basically too little time to make a home-cooked meal, especially after an exhausting day at work. Therefore, even if the number on price tag is made bigger, it is likely that purchasers still choose them, sacrificing a small proportion of their income for a significant amount of time saved from preparing a healthy meal. Furthermore, what should not be ignored is that there are many people who consume these foods as an indulgence occasionally will sustain this financial consequence because of other people's actions. This is extremely unfair because children from low-income families will be deterred from enjoying this small pleasure. When they turn into teenagers, socializing is essential and fast food is often consumed in those occasions. In this case, the price will unnecessarily constitute a challenge for them to make friends. It is common sense that no one should be deprived of happiness when a policy is released, therefore, it seems to me that such approach should not be the right one. In conclusion, I am totally opposed to this suggestion on the grounds that it would be ineffective given people's being fully occupied with work and the fairness it will definitely fail to achieve.

Do not overstate /exaggerate the discussion. Where in the original prompt does it make reference to a worldwide obesity trend? It is important that the original information is restated without changing the information provided. When infomation is added, the writer will lose points due to task inaccuracy violations. This first paragraph is definitely not going to help the essay start off with a passing score. It is a failing paragraph. The writer's opinion is improperly presented as well since it is a run on sentence. The thesis statement should cover 2 sentences since there are 2 unrelated ideas being used to support the writer's opinion. Do not try to circumvent the scoring considerations. That is why this essay is starting with a preliminary failing score from which it may not recover. The other reason this essay is not going to pass is the conclusion. It is another run on sentence that does not meet the 40 word requirement. The summary conclusion should be presented over 3 sentences at the most. These stated reasons are going to be the basis of the failing score of the essay. Even though the reasoning paragraphs contain good reasons but imperfect sentence representations, the writer may not receive a passing score.

## traditional newspapers or online media? In recent years, the methods to receive information have been a topic of debate in many parts of the world. While I am convinced that reading newspapers benefits readers, I also believe that other media are effective to people. On the one hand, although we are living in the age of the internet, newspapers are still a reliable source of information among readers. Firstly, newspapers always provided accurate information. Because, it is news sources of mainstream institutions, everything is censored before the information is published. Secondly, unlike newspapers, news on social media almost does not check which leads to providing incorrect information. That information distorts the reader's perceptions and makes confusion. That is exactly why people should stay alert to news online. On the other hand, the undeniable fact that learning news through social media is more popular. In a digital world, people can read news very easily and faster. Everyone has internet connected devices like smartphone, tablet or laptop thus users just surf social networks or websites to read many news immediately. Besides, because newspaper's propagate slower, the information does not break news toward readers. To have one newspaper it has to go through many steps such as check, edit, censor and print before it comes to everyone. Therefore, getting updates through other media is one of the top priorities, especially among young people. In conclusion, both newspapers and other media have advantages and disadvantages. Choosing the methods to receive news could depend on each person and the type of need.

The writer's discussion presentation does not follow the discussion requirements as originally stated. The first version indicated differening public opinions and a request to have the writer compare and contrast these opinions with his personal thoughts on the subject. The writer did not reflect these requirements in his prompt restatement + writer's opinion paragraph. Neither did he utilize the public v. personal comparison paragraphs in the reasoning presentation. The viewpoints are solely from a personal opinion, which does not offer a look into an opposing insight, thus allowing the reader to come to his own conclusion regarding the discussion. While the reasons presented are relevant and interesting to read about, the minute it did not use the correct discussion format, the essay already failed to get a passing score. Why? It only addressed one point of view where comparative public and personal POV's are required.

***Some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, company and society.*** ## Discuss and give opinion. These days, owing to the development of technologies, namely the Internet, people have more opportunities in seeking jobs, which eventually culminates in the increasing rate of changing current occupations. It is thought by many individuals that this tendency should be encouraged more because of unrivaled benefits, while others opine the opposite. From my standpoint, I am in of tune with the former stand, and in this essay, I will discuss further my verdict. It is fathomable that moving on to a new appointment is not a favorable choice for many people. Standing behind this is the fact that it can affect the financial stability of a person. As a striking illustration, in Asian countries such as China or Vietnam, high school students are deliberately guided to choose their most fitting occupation, which constitutes perpetual, in vocational courses organized by the school. It is due to the belief that the time spent on finding a new job may be extended which can cause acute effects on the finance of an individual. Additionally, the lack of confidence to find a new, suitable job is also a plausible reason. Because of social prejudice toward people who are jobless, many individuals are disheartened to quit their current occupations. Thus, it is common sense that there are many adherents to the latter view. Nonetheless, on the other hand, proponents of the first view also have numerous rational reasons to fortify their opinion. One justification usually brought up is the fulfillment of working in the right place. There are many things that cause people to quit, and one of these is the detrimental working environment, such as negative coworkers, and boss, which can result in the apprehension and depression of an employee. Moreover, being employed in a more suitable position can create enthusiasm fostering people to work assiduously and persistently, which is not only beneficial to the workers themselves but also to the company or the business they are working for. Because of these above reasons, I am wholeheartedly on the side with the first view. To conclude, the former belief is totally compelling for me because of several factors such as the mental health caused by egregious workplaces and the contentment of working in the preferable job.

There is no platform indicated in the original prompt for the subject provided. The writer should not have indicated any basis for the reasoning in his presentation either. That is because doing so changed the viewpoint of the original prompt, resulting in an alter topic presentation and a non=passing restatement scoring consideration. The writer should always quickly restate the topic, without adding information that will alter the original discussion points. The total paragraph will actually make the essay receive a failing score due to prompt and opinion inaccuracies. The writer committed the biggest error in writing the task 2 essay. He actually began his discussion in the first paragraph. An action that is frowned upon since it does not provide the necessary prequalifying score criteria for the presentation. The essay has already failed and need not be reviewed further. The writer must learn to prevent himself from starting his reasoning discussions in the first paragraph. The reasoning summary can be provided but the full developed discussion needs to be found in the 2 public v. personal reasoning paragraphs instead.

## A family outing During my recent holiday, I had a family outing in Binh Thuan, and I had a memorable experience there. I still remember it was very cool that night, so after eating dinner, my brother and I decided to stroll by motorbike. But we got lost because we were absorbed in enjoying the beautiful scenery here. Unfortunately, at that time, our motorbike was almost out of gas, and neither of us had a cell phone so we couldn't contact our parents. I felt very nervous. Fortunately, I found some money in my pocket, enough for us to fill up with gas to continue our way home. Moreover, we met a friendly policeman who lent me his phone and showed us the way home. At that time, I felt fortunate to have made it home and was very grateful to the policeman that day.

Try to better set the stage for the adventure. That can be accomplished by indicating the season, the year, or the holiday that was being celebrated. The year is not as important as the background of the story. The story is too dry and boring. It just states the facts as it happened. There is no part that would hold the interest of the reader. We need a multi-dimensional representation of the event and characters. Put some excitement into the narration. Add some dialogue. Heighten the worry and confusion that you and your brother may have felt at the time. Create a stronger sense of relief towards the end. The story has a good foundation. It is the narration that needs better development.

***The main aim of advertising campaign is to increase sales of a certain product, but people don't really need it.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is undeniable that advertisement was born to boost product sales and many people hold the opinion that advertisement serves the primary purpose of profit-making from dispensable merchandise. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this idea as commercial advertising helps us to make the right purchase decisions and what really affect the people's choice of products are spending power and their need. The first reason why advertising should not be deemed only profit-seeking is that it has constantly making people aware of the latest features of a new product. Through all kinds of advertisement presented everywhere, from the banner on a building to commercial breaks between shows on television, people are introduced to what is available now in the market, together with the information about the price range and new unique features. Based on this, customers will themselves decide whether they need it, not the advertisement will. Second, without advertisement, people virtually can not draw a comparison between different items that serve the same purpose. For example, when a technologically illiterate elderly go to buy a phone, it is likely that he will go for one advertised to be affordable and possess only basic features like texting and calling. In this case, advertising does a great job of providing insight into the product which then helps people make the right choice according to their needs and conditions. On the other hand, I understand those who argue that there are advertisements that aim to reach sales targets for some unnecessary commodities. There are those from high-end fashion brands, luxurious car brands or phone manufacturers that promote new models on a frequent basis. These types somehow prove to be successful due to people's desire to keep themselves up to date with the latest items. However, not all people are able to afford them, especially people below the middle class. They are very critical of their choice so, in effect, they only exert an impact on a small proportion of the upper-class population. In conclusion, I believe that advertising is much more than a tool to promote the sales of certain products as it allows smart shopping based on the information customers receive and also because the deciding element of each purchase is actually spending power and how important the product is to a buyer.

Stop over discussing the essays. The standard format requires only 4 paragraphs: Par 1: Restatement + Opinion + Thesis statement Par 2: Reasoning explanation 1 Par 3: Reasoning explanation 2 Par 4: Concuding summary There is no need for a 3 reasoning paragraph discussion unless one is discussing a compare and contrast with personal opinion essay. In which case, the 3rd paragraph representing the personal opinion is optional but acceptable. A 3rd paragraph is not necessary in the other discussion formats. Avoid making attestations in the prompt restatement. A testimony is not a requirement in any task 2 essay because it is not indicative of the original topic presentation. If one wishes to uses it, then it must be integrated into the writer's statement as his personal belief or opinion. It should never be blended into the prompt restatement.

***Countries should try to produce all the food and import as little food as possible.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Many people say that every food produced should be made in the country's border and foreign imports should be avoided as much as possible. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this idea because of the potential lack of nutrition as well as hindered economic growth if people are concentrated to fulfill the need for self-reliance of food. It seems to me that if a country only consumes the types of food available to its region, people's demand for a wide range of nutrition can not be met, especially in a country with an extreme climate. For example, countries with continental climate like Russia can not grow staple crops like rice and need to import a large amount each year if they want to have it in their daily meal. Therefore, minimizing the food imported from other countries may be an extreme choice. Moreover, due to the disparity in technological resources, weather and geographical conditions, enormous manpower may be required to produce enough food. Many countries are not favoured with conducive factors for food production and this will result in a lack of human resources for other industries. Therefore, a deteriorating economy predicating on agriculture is anticipated. I understand those who argue that food transportation is a huge carbon burden. However, if a country wants to supply itself, it is likely that deforestation will expand to make way for agricultural land. In this case, there is no big difference regarding environmental cost and the farming practices per se also release a whopping amount of greenhouse gases. Take livestock farming as an example, enteric fermentation produces methane during digestion in ruminant animals like cows and this has done great harm to the environment. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea that a country should be independent of food due to the possibility of malnutrition, potential economic failure and the fact that it makes no big difference if we clear forests, conduct farming and transport food by plane.

Good work on the prompt restatement and writer's opinion paragraph. It is well developed and follows the expected format for the rewording of the original topic and thesis statement. The essay is definitely off to a good start and strong preliminary score. As for the reasoning statements, it is important that the writer understand the discussion basis. It is based on a 2 reasoning discussion paragraph format. One paragraph for each thesis reason. The writer over extended the discussion. It could have been easily completed within 2 paragraphs based upon how short the third paragraph actually is. The use of concise paragraphs will always help the C+C score. It does not need to be a lengthy discussion, just a strong discussion. Good work on the use of personal pronouns in the essay. It helps to add to the strength of the discussion and will definitely help increase the GRA score since it removes any confusion about who is speaking in the essay. The sentences are well developed and understandable as well. The sentences are not perfect, but that is not the aim of the test. As long as the writer can produce sentences that help the reader understand his opinion, then the sentence and paragraph will have succeeded in accomplishing its task.

## parents and schools play a huge part in a child's healthy lifestyle Most youngsters today do not live a healthy lifestyle because they would rather eat fast food than nutritious food and play games or watch TV shows than exercise. It is the responsibility of both parents and schools to deal with this situation. I absolutely agree on this point. I feel that parents and schools should work together to overcome this problem by adopting new behaviors. Children go to school to receive an education, and they spend the majority of their time there. Therefore, I think that schools play a significant role in helping students develop healthy behaviors. To encourage kids to have a nutritious meal, it is recommended that they provide them with healthy lunches and snacks in addition to banning junk food from the cafeteria. Additionally, schools may begin a new phase of instruction. Teachers should support learners in forming new habits by creating academic materials that call for exercise to support brain function. Children might exercise their bodies more frequently in this way, reducing obesity and other ailments brought on by an unhealthy lifestyle. It is nevertheless crucial for parents to model a healthy lifestyle for their children in the meantime. Despite being busy at work or with other engagements, parents should spend more time with their kids. As a consequence, relationships between parents and children will be strong. So even when their kids don't like it, they can demand them do everything they say. For instance, they may work out together once or twice each week and serve nutritious breakfasts each morning before the kids leave for school. However, parents may offer their kids any cheat day off within the healthy living program so they won't become exhausted. To summarise, parents and schools play a huge part in a child's healthy lifestyle, and they have a variety of strategies at their disposal to address the issue. Thanks for watching

There are 2 errors in the prompt restatement presentation: 1. The thesis statement should come at the end of the paragraph in support of the writer's opinion. It should not be the topic sentence. 2. The writer is offering a solution in an essay that does not ask for a solution opinion. No suggestions should be made if not required as it will result in a discussion alteration and lower the TA score. The writer does not sound confident in his opinion explanation with regards to the school's responsibility in the situation. Words of uncertainty create a problem for the supporting writer's opinion discussion. It weakens the reasoning paragraph since the writer cannot convince the reader of his opinion. How can he do that when he questions his opinion himself? The opinion now lacks clarity, which will affect the C+C score. Contractions in the presentation will also have an effect on the GRA score. Remember that the words need to be spelled out to show that the writer is properly using the word(s) in the sentence. By the way, I am not watching the essay, that means looking at a series of moving images. I am reading the essay, which refers to static words written on a page.

***Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree?*** Competent people need to allow students to study in the university without charge which has always been a topic of general interest. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that tuition payment is necessary for all universities as well as the national economy. Supporters of the opinion about learning for free argue that everybody has accessibility to be educated in an advanced environment. Although the world is constantly growing, some families still don't have enough budget for their children to learn. This reason led to the suspension of many students and affected the development in each country. Particularly in Guinea, since the expensive fee to learn, many children can't go to school which makes this country have the lowest level of development. Moreover, in the future, if this case is still not handled by the government, the number of illiterate people will increase sharply. In my view, it is necessary for authority to collect tuition from students. First of all, we need to sympathize with the government's budget in many developing countries where they don't have enough to pay for public services, even education. Secondly, depending on the major, each student will have a different fee to study, therefore, if university education is free, expensive majors will be chosen by many students and it is going to put pressure on the fund for education in many countries. However, nowadays many developed countries have financial support for all the students who apply to their particular university. In conclusion university's fee will be dependent on the education's development of each country. However, if some students in developing countries have a great achievement in learning, they can entirely have the opportunity to have the international scholarship which helps them develop their own education. Thanks for giving me feedbacks about this essay.

The writer is using English words in this essay without a true understanding of the meaning of the word. This leads to confusing and incorrect discussion references that make his sentence and paragraph presentations confusing for the reader to comprehend. He should ensure that he checks the meaning of words he wants to use in his practice essays before he actually uses it in the presentation. That way he will have a chance to build his vocabulary properly and also, avoid making any score reducing mistakes in his presentation. A mistake was made in reference to the opinion presentation of the paragraph. The writer indicated the extent of the validity of the topic rather then indicating the extent of his support or non-support of the given discussion. Based on this error, the presentation will receive a failing TA score. It does not address the prompt requirements as expected. The overall discussion presentation is not valid since it is addressing a prompt created by the writer rather than the prompt that accompanied the original text. There is no way that this essay will manage to receive even a low passing score.

## Stress-related illnesses from work It is common to see that, these days, many employers are suffering from pressure-related diseases. This essay will discuss the two main causes of stress-related diseases including overworking and lacking work-life balance. This essay also suggests two main solutions to this problem including having a logical working schedule and engaging in physical exercise. People are working longer hours than ever before, in addition, they have to encounter a severe lack of work-life balance. With the development of technology, nowadays, a variety of jobs have been replaced by technological equipment. This makes the world of work becomes increasingly competitive, so to survive in that environment, people have to put their work life under a lot of pressure. For instance, being a teacher in the modern era, one has to be competent in his or her discipline and skilled at using technological gadgets serving his or her teaching job. From that, people can not have adequate time to take care of themselves and their families. This leads to diminishing their quality of life. To protect people from these negative phenomena, many useful ways have been recommended. Such as having a reasonable timeline and doing regular exercise. Firstly, it is believed that having a reasonable timeline for working so that they can have more spare time to pursue other pastimes and rejuvenate themselves. This simultaneously improves their work performance. Secondly, many well-advised recommendations from health specialists show that doing exercise frequently or taking up a new sport allows workers can enhance their mental health and reduce stress in their work field, and at the same time foster their creativity. This could be substantially beneficial for people who work in some occupations related to arts, such as writers or artists. Therefore, to avoid suffering from diseases led by strenuous workload, workers need to have a stable working schedule and engage in physical regularly. In conclusion, in today's fast-paced world more and more people are becoming ill as a result of stress. This essay indicated how to stay away from getting disorders related to intense workplace stress and suggested the solutions to this issue are twofold: to have a suitable workload and to do exercise on a regular basis.

The prompt restatement is acceptable enough. What is not acceptable is the mere repetiition of the discussion questions when the guide questions meant for these to be the establishing discussion points for the writer's opinion in the first paragraph presentation. Due to the lack of clear writer opinion presentation, the first paragraph cannot receive a passing score. It can only get a fraction of a score based on the prompt restatement. There needs to be 2 causes and 2 solutions presented in this essay, not just a single cause and 2 solutions. The writing has to be done in paragraph partnerships. One problem, one solution, within a single paragraph. By doing this, the clarity of the writer's opinion and the strength of his opinion becomes clear to the examiner. It will result in a better score than the writer might expect to receive.

## my future in 5-10 years When I realized I got used to diving into an adult's world, I started thinking about who am I in the next 5 year and even in the next 10 year. To be honest, the biggest thing I pursue is Education. I think this is a large field that I have to become a part of it. Since highschool time, I feel my country's education has some dilemmas. My teachers impact me so much that I have to be a specialist guy in class to receive their attention. That is a problem. Because I realized that we must be changed from a specialist guy to a generalist. I do not want education is a place where teachers "teach" their students about something but I want education to become a space which can evoke the beauty of each individual and promote that beauty. This is the reason I am on my way to finding my partners to create a community where children can learn from a liberal environment and especially I want to give the worthy knowledge to poor children. Nowadays, we know many organizations which can contribute facilities and help give education for them but two things for education I want to "build up" for a child are mental stability and developing EQ. Because I believe that intelligence grows a lot from experience, and experience only learns from failures. We often do not learn experience from success. I am imagining my future in the next 5 and 10 year right now and I feel pressure and excited. In the next 5 year my community for children will being launched. The reason I feel pressure is that I must find out how to keep that "fire" in myself and even in my partners to always be ready to "wake up" inside our children. I know many projects or organizations give children a bunch of important lessons, however it just works in a short term. Therefore, it is not my criteria for education. I believe that we can boost students' creativity and help them be more courageous in the path that they are taking. The first principle is that our community is not a school where we can easily see tables, chairs, chalkboards, and teachers who stand at the center of the class lecturing the students. We should think outside of the box and in our community students become the center of the classroom discussing ideas with their peers under the facilitation or under the supervision of what we call a mentor or a facilitator. And in the next 10 years, I believe our community will be extended and benefited with any Vietnamese children. Whatever major I choose, I want to help children in my country to catch up with education in the world.

The essay is too scattered in focus. The writer must not work so much on the backstory in a disconnected form from the 5 and 10 year plan. He must revise the presentation to allow for the relevant merging of his future plans with the backstory. The backstory cannot comprise more than half this essay. By creating a seamlessly interwoven idea presentation, the 5 and 10 year plans will show the relevance of the difficulties education faces in the applicant's home country. A new essay must be developed if the writer is to meet the prompt requirements for the application. He must also use a professional editor to help clean up his essay once his new draft is finished. The editor can clean up any problems and misunderstanding that might arise from the ESL writing of the applicant. The writer is not capable of writing a clean English application essay without professional help.

## Business ventures **Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. 300 words** My business ventures began when I was 8 years old. After moving to Australia and facing constant challenges of trying to fit in, I felt lost. My desire to find my passion was a constant battle. I unzipped my backpack at school, taking out a pink EOS lip balm I brought with me from America. The lip balm seamlessly glided across my lips, filling every crack and crevice. My classmates' eyes lit up with amusement and want as they saw this foreign product. I began importing lip balms and hand sanitizers to Australia and selling them to my school. They turned into collectibles and every month when I received my new shipment, all of the girls in my school would buy them and turn them into a competition of who had more. As my business grew, so did my passion for creativity and innovative thinking. I continued my passion when I moved to Colorado and started my first clothing store: Sunshine Beach Boutique. I sold Australian made and designed clothing to young girls all around the country; reaching 32 states. The desire for these items continued to thrive as my business reached over $5000 in profit within the first year. I belong to a community of entrepreneurs and innovative thinkers. My creative thinking and ability to recognize needs allow me to approach problems in a productive manner. I am truly passionate about finding problems within an environment and creating solutions to solve them.

The writer should bring the last paragraph up and use it as an introduction that will seamlessly transition into the start of his early business ventures. It is only logical to do that since it will allow him to address the prompt requirement swiftly and relevantly. It makes for a stronger impression since it allows the reviewer to imagine how this 8 year old could successfully develop a business plan at such an early age. Try to highlight how networking was involved in your business venture since you had to import items to the country you wer elicing in each time. That way the importance of your membership in the community is further highlighted and given importance.

Please help me with this essay. Thank you ***It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (eg. dinosaurs, dodos, ...). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? A sizable number of people adopt the view that the extinction of certain species namely dinosaurs is ineluctable due to unexpected natural events, so there is no point interfering in this process. Personally, I totally disagree with this point of view because apart from natural causes, I strongly believe that human causes are unequivocal. On the one hand, it is true that a host of primitive animals such as dinosaurs and dodo ceased to exist owing to natural calamities, but it is not to say that man-made disasters are negligible. For instance, Panda experiences a population crash every year because of over poaching, thus it is now on the red list of endangered animals. In addition, thousands of acres of land are cleared to make room for human's agricultural and industrial practices. Therefore, natural habitats are severely destroyed and native species have no place to live and reproduce. As a result, as impactful as the natural catastrophe may sound, human-induced disasters are of great significance. On the other hand, in case human practices are not the main culprit, it is highly important to spare wildlife creatures from dying out. This is because the majority of natural species are linked closely by food chain, the extinction of one kind of species may put an end to the survival of its predator, thereby sabotaging the balance of the ecosystem. Moreover, there are a few species whose genes are quite rare in the wild. The disappearance of these is synonymous with the fact that genetic materials for scientific experiments catering to human's medicinal purposes will be lost permanently, which impedes medical development. In conclusion, human activities are the drivers pushing some kind of species to the verge of extinction. Even if these are not the chief causes, the medical and ecological merits of wildlife creatures are really noteworthy for human's life. Because of that I think it's about time taking actions to protect animals for our own sake.

Okay, the writer is obviously trying to gain a higher LR score in this essay by using advanced English words. This is a problem because the examiner is not looking for advanced English words, that often result in incorrect usage. What he is looking for is how the writer can express himself clearly using everyday English words. So words like "ineluctable" and "unequivocal" have no place in the task 2 presentation. There is a simple grammar rule in this test when it comes to word usage. Keep it simple. The LR score is not as score improving as most exam takers mistakenly believe it to be. The score increase comes from the other aspects such as C+C and GRA. Why is the writer using an extinct animal, the dinosaur in his opening statement? That animal went extinct long before human beings came into existence. He should have used some other example instead. By using the wrong example, the examiner will think that the exam taker cannot analyze information and can only write in memorized phrases. Scores will be reduced overall because of the incorrect discussion format. Rather than proving his opinion over 2 reasoning paragraphs, he instead compared discussion points. Points that are not covered by the original discussion and therefore, initiated a prompt discussion deviation. A mistake that will result in a failing score for the essay.

## Happiness is considered very important in life. ***Why is it so difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?*** Happiness has been regarded as a lifelong purpose throughout the history of humanity. Hence, it is vitally important to live a blissful life. This essay will discuss the reason why it is not easy to interpret that concept and outline some critical elements that contribute to contentment. The definition of happiness has remained as elusive as ever. Notably, it is mostly attributed to the distinctive perception of an individual person in different contexts. To elaborate, happiness differs from a toddler who is given new toys to a delighted mom who just gave birth to a newborn, thus it is evident that feeling joyful can vary from the trivial things that take place on a daily basis to the critical milestones in a person's life. Despite that notion's ambiguity and abstraction, there are several key elements which facilitate a sense of well-being. First and foremost, gratitude appears to be the essential foundation for the state of being fulfilled. Specifically, when people feel grateful for what they have at the moment, they might live passionately in every aspect of their life with satisfaction. That could be a little moment with serenity, a random beautiful day or merely a tiny favor that others do. Moreover, happiness is always hiding in plain sight. Although small things happening on a daily basis could be conceived as mundane as people usually overlook them, these little details contribute to the way people view the world outside every day. Consequently, they will bring about the frequent feeling of contentment and peace inside. To conclude, in spite of the fact that defining happiness is quite a challenging task because it is exclusive to an individual, people can also find it in every quotidian thing and every little moment in their life. Moreover, happiness is not a goal to reach, it is hidden beauty waiting to be discovered.

The writer should not have represented the reasons for the discussion at the start of the paragraph. The first sentence should have simply allowed for the interpretation of the single sentence topic. Followed by 2 more sentences that respond individually to the 2 questions provided. The prompt restatement + writer opinion was not well developed in this paragraph. In fact, the restatement will be seen as an alteration of the original topic and therefore, receive a failing score. The repetition of the discussion instructions are not necessary in this presentation. Due to the C+C considerations, the questions should have found direct topic responses in the opinion presentation. Otherwise, the writer's opinion requirements are not met. The second paragraph tried but failed to properly explain why happiness is difficult to define because it did not use the correct example to explain itself. Had a more youth oriented or adult example been used, then the difficulty in givign meaning to happiness would have been met. A child, or infant, as referred in this paragraph, does not have any concept of joy and sadness yet. It has automatic communication reactions, which do not indicate that it understands the difference between types of happiness. The writer should have stopped the discussion after the second reasoning paragraph. By continuing the discussion into the concluding summary, he ended up with an open ended essay, which is an essay that is always given a failing score due to the lack of a recapped closing paragraph.

## the future of printed books, newspapers Some people say that in the future printed books or newspapers will be purchased by no one since people could read everything they need on the internet for free. In my perspective, although people could read many things on the internet without paying money, I do not agree with this school of thought that no one will use printed books or newspapers. Admittedly, people could read many things on the internet for free. With the rapid development of social networks, because the information is available everywhere on the internet, people, with basic internet-connection electronic devices could easily search for many useful data. For example, a cook could find several delicious recipes for her dinner in seconds by accessing Youtube. This method also helps people save time and effort in finding information in books or magazines. However, the internet just provides some basic information in certain fields and these data almost are not examined probably. Although the internet assists people in finding information quickly, it is sometimes pale in comparison with printed books and newspapers because of several rationals. First and foremost, most of the valuable documents in certain domains require users to pay the fee when it is downloaded from the internet because of copyright issues. As a result, if users want to own valuable materials, for instance, a research paper, they have to pay money by credit cash. In addition, printed books positively impact readers' health more than digital books. One of the fundamental reasons is when spending hours trawling or reading something on the internet, the eyes are detrimental gradually over months, which also leads to some certain eye-related diseases. In these circumstances, printed books or newspapers are optimal choices. In conclusion, even though people could read many things on online platforms, it is my firm conviction that printed books bring many benefits for people because of some unique features that unexisted on the internet.

The writer has a problematic representation of the topic because of a confusing idea presentation in the topic sentence. Sentence structuring can use improvement.The response format, thought responsive in idea, is not in the correct format since it does not show the extent or strength of the writer's opinion through the use of powerful words, words used in accordance with the correct reasoning summary. The introductory paragraph could have been better developed in line with the discussion format requirement. Discussion topics provided are incorrect and irrelevant to the discussion. The information used by the writer works both ways. People will have to purchase electronic versions of the print materials, how is that different from needing to purchase books? eBooks are acknowledged to be the replacement of print books. Both require purchasing on the part of the reader. The reasoning is not convincing due to the similar requirements for owning the material. Even the reference to eyesight problems are equal between print and electronic media. The same eye problems exist. So what is the difference? None. Why should the reader believe the writer's opinion when all of his reasons show an equal reason that will allow books of print and electronic print to exist side by side? The discussions provided should prove the value of print books over eBooks, not its equality. That equality is not mentioned in the writer's opinion. Had he indicated a thesis statement that mentioned equality, then the discussion presented would have been highly scored due to acceptability and relevance. Throughout the essay, the writer encounters presentation problems due to the inconsistent sentence presentations that affect the coherence of the sentences and paragraphs. Therefore, he must realize that his weakness lies in sentence structure and this is the section where he must improve the most during his grammar exercises.

## care for the elderly It is common beliefs that the distribution of money to old peoples to they feel more carefully, however, other perspectives argue that a large of money should be invested for the education of young-age groups.in my opinion, i support that money should be more allocated for the schools to childrens had a well-educated than take care of older peoples. on the one hand,even though the elder people is easily to become vulnerable and need to be more careful all the times.Because of they always feel isolated and unconfident due to the more and more in their age and they don't make a numinous financial as well as when they were young. However,Almost the elder usually lived with their descendants, so nearly theirs need an accommodation,caring when they had been have illness which demanded emediately.in addition, the older ages would be gave a retired money by government. According to a study in 2000, about 90% of the elders nearly lived with their young generations although, in the previous years they had lived lonely for characteristics or the features of their careers. So, the government should again consider the distribution of money to elder people. On the other hand,the more money allocated for the education of the young generation, the more easily had a improved- country in the future.because, the new inventions which almost came from high- school students according to a statistics over period of 10 years from 1990 to 2000,The Europe had more strongly money invested than the rest of countries.By 2001,it had been had the most production science and a highest economics.therefor, the investment in the schools is the best way to enhance a country. To conclude, the elderly would need to have caring so they feel more and more healthier, however, the investment of young education is more necessary than for the future.

This essay will immediately receive a failing score, regardless of the discussion presented and the number of words provided. Why? The first thing that the examiner will notice is that the writer does not have any knowledge of to write a sentence in English. None of these sentences will even pass as beginner English from an ESL student. The writer does not convey clear thoughts or ideas in the sentences because his word usage is so severely faulty, the grammar range for this essay will be based on the failing score due to sentence formation problems, word usage errors, and meaning distortion. The C+C for this essay will be the second noticeable problem in this essay. The GRA problems caused the formation of a discussion that is incoherent and lacking in cohesiveness. His score in this section will also be non-passing. The final problem, is that the writer is citing research in a paper that is asking for a personal opinion from the writer. These are but the more immediate and noticeable errors in the presentation that will prevent this type of writing from gaining a passing score for the task instructions. It becomes ever obvious to the examiner that the writer is not yet at the beginner level of using the English language in expressing himself. He will score the examinee as such. If the writer is to have a prayer of passing this test, he must first work on his basic ESL skills. That will include enhancing his severely limited English vocabulary to help him form more properly formatted sentences. Enroll in formal ESL classes to achieve this goal. Do not proceed with writing any sort of IELTS essay yet. He is not yet capable of writing such tasks.

***Today people live away from their friends and family to find a job in other cities.*** ## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? It is observed that people increasingly sacrifice their chance to stay near their loved one to relocate for work. This essay will analyze both the merits and demerits of the tendency and the reasons why the merits are greater. On the one hand, those who move away from families and friends are more at the risk of enduring mental health problems. As people have been accustomed to being in the company of the loved one, they could find it demanding in case of stepping out of their comfort zone. In practice, such people feel the difficulties to share their problems with the next of kin due to great distance. A case in this point is migrant workers since they are intrinsically inclined to opt for foreign countries. Therefore, the laborers have to stand on their own and in the end may suffer from sheer pressure regarding their workload and lack of compassion, which will escalate without outside assistance. As it shows, people could confront the mental health problems when being away from the loved one. On the other hand, their ambition for the career fulfilment would be straightforward to be realized. As bigger cities or countries are the hub of various industries, which may facilitate a safe and secured career as well as high wage, those who make for these destinations stand the chance of finding an ideal job. This could not only benefit their own career in the long term but their living condition as well. Japan in this day and age becomes such an impeccable countries for laborers throughout the developing countries in view of its labor export programs. Given that, people opting for this nation could ameliorate their financial condition in tandem with a stable career path. Thus, their living away from their loved one goes along with their successful employment. In conclusion, while the tendency to relocate for work instead of staying near family friend presents both the downsides and upsides, it seems to me that the upsides outweigh the counterpart.

There is room for improvement in the restatement and personal opinion paragraph. Avoid changing the statement basis from a mere straightforward opinion to one that includes a verification of truth or personal observations. Those can be included in the writer's opinion but not in the restatement section. The verification and observation will be considered a prompt deviation since it is not originally referenced. Avoid empty discussion instructions repetitions as well. These sorts of writing do not help establish the writer's opinion as required in the discussion. These errors will be considered in the preliminary scoring of the paragraph and be given lower than expected scores. Based on the given discussion, the writer does not really understand the task writing requirements. That of a written debate that aims to debunk and perceived disadvantages as actual advantages. While the writer takes care to use targeted words in his presentation, these do nothing for the rest of the scoring requirement since the discussion format does not follow the expected outline. Where there should be 2 discredited disadvantages, there is only 1. It is not an effective written debate.

## economic inequality problem Nowadays, economic inequality is one of the biggest problems is faced in developing countries. The improvement of society had been cause growing disparity between the wealthy and poor. This essay will discuss some solutions related to decrease the gap. There are a several actions that governments could take to solve the problems. Firstly, a simple solutions would be the government should be create a high tax impose on the rich, which could be reduce income average inequality in community. Similarly, authority can use this money to supply and develop services without fee in the poor. For instance, in VN, the public transportation wants to be built or the social welfare is implemented, it takes to a lot of money, and this finances is taken by the people who is had the highly personal income taxes. A good example of this is, in Western countries, many billionaires want to take billions of dollars turn into heritance, but this cash will be taken to pay all their tax. It doesn't just stop at the politics ought to change the tax, but other measures is proposed take are also highly regarded. Secondly, another solution is the Establishment allow increase the minimum wage of the poorest people. A good case in point is a research in United State is express when a labor who had a lower revenue is boosted will help nearly 4.6 millions people out of poverty as the same about 2 billions of dollars is added in economic nation. Another example is in Philippine a worker had a more earns can buy a lot of goods and basic assistance needed to survive. Next to, the administrators have to be enhance programs and contribute the scholarships to student in disadvantaged. Opening up learning paths for students as an example, schools in developing countries have always giving foreign study places to poor pupils. In conclusion, the distance of people between rich and poor is widen. But if the executive do somethings above, some of the drawbacks of this problems can be averted

The topic covers countries in general, not just developing countries. That is a topic misdirection that will be seen as a prompt topic alteration and result in accuracy deductions. By indicating a disparity in social class rather than economics between countries, the basis for the discussion is also altered, meaning more scoring deductions. Then, the solutions lack a proper discussion topic outline for the benefit of the examiner. The prompt restatement + opinion paragraph will not receive passing preliminary marks. The discussion should be focused on problems and solutions. Not just solutions alone. The writer has incorrectly discussed the topic based on the original discussion requirements. His essay is going to be considered under developed because of the missing discussion points. Add the other GRA problems and it becomes fairly obvious why the paper cannot receive a passing score.

## Parents are the best teachers Parents are always by our sides when we have troubles, share everything with us, and make our lives easier. Although parents are the first teachers in our lives, I don't think they are the best teachers for us. Firstly, our parents sometimes force us to follow their interests and hopes. They want their children to do what they couldn't do in the past and want us to be similar to what they like. Sometimes, they don't let us be the people we want. Secondly, they don't want their children to pass comfort zones. They keep their children in their vision. They don't want their children to be dangerous. Although they know their children can do more, they keep them safe. Parents are important teachers for us, but they aren't always the best teachers. Fortunately, besides our parents, we have a lot of teachers who show us to be better people. We learn from our teachers at school, friends, and even from books and the internet.

This essay will receive an automatic failing score because it has only 166 out of 250 words. Percentage deductions will be applied severely to the missing word count. As such, the way the writer approached the topic, how he discussed it, and how well he may have presented his opinion are not scoring considerations anymore. The essay has already failed, regardless of those considerations. It will be best for the writer to ensure that he meets the word count next time. He must write at least 250 words to avoid word count penalties that result in automatic failing final scores. The writer did not pose a proper prompt restatement because he began to present his opinion of the topic, rather than a rewording of the original in the first paragraph. While he did present a valid personal opinion towards the end of the paragraph, the invalid prompt restatement will further reduce the score of an already failed essay. His use of contractions in the presentation also did not help his score. While this is not an academic essay per se, the student is still expected to show knowledge of proper English word writing and sentence development. That means, no contractions should be seen in the presentation. While other problems exist in the paper, these are the two attention catching problems that will automatically be considered by the examiner when considering the preliminary score of the essay.

## the natural world SHIELDED BY TECHNOLOGY Thanks to the advent of technology, people are becoming more attached to cutting-edge devices and missing out on the status quo of the natural world. Although this phenomenon exerts a plethora of negative influences, some viable solutions can be implemented to alleviate its potential repercussions . The technological addiction and the hectic lifestyle of individuals culminates in the devoid of knowledge related to nature. Firstly, technological gadgets have taken a heavy toll on human's life as it takes up a large amount of people's time. With alluring social networking sites and appealing apps, most people are irresistible to these tools, which hinders themselves to the core of nature. Moreover, after utilizing leading-edge devices to the fullest, people have a tendency to be indolent and desire relaxation, therefore having no time to figure out the significance of the natural world. Secondly, a hectic lifestyle is also a precursor which limits the opportunities of people to reach the outer side. In a hustle and bustle world, humans have to work and keep abreast of the latest news constantly in order not to be obsolete. Hence, they often find themselves in a paralyzed situation prior to coming home. For instance, after a rigorous schedule at schools, students aspire to sleep and do homework rather than learning about the environment. In the face of this status quo, two different pragmatic measures could be taken for the alleviation of this issue to be possible. The first viable solution is that schools should include extracurricular activities in the school curriculum. Students are the next generations, which define the future of the nation. Therefore, it is of great necessity for them to realize the significance of nature and pass down on their posterity. Take going to forests for example. When traveling to these areas, students may be able to have a good grasp of the ecosystem. To make sure they are safe, they should be equipped with state-of-the-art tools. The second solution is to broadcast propaganda. Raising citizens' consciousness is of great importance since it helps them to be more aware of how nature can tremendously affect them. Broadcasting is deemed as one of the most flexible solutions to broaden people's horizons about the natural world. It is especially the most effective when they are having a family gathering since they watch television together. In conclusion, the technological addiction and the busy lifestyle are the two severe ramifications of this trend. However, with the extracurricular extended in school's curriculum and broadcasting propaganda can help to reverse the undesirable trend.

The writer has completely forgotten that the task only allows for 40 minutes of drafting, editing, and finalizing of the presentation. It is impossible to write 422 words within this time frame if the procedure for improving the scoring for the essay is to be followed. There should not be more than 300 words in this presentation, with an emphasis placed on the quality of the information presented rather than the word count. What I have seen in this essay is a lack of proper word referencing and sentence structure for the most part. Errors the writer could have corrected if he was not trying to pass the test based solely on the LR requirements alone. The first paragraph alone is already a misrepresentation of the original prompt with the inclusion of a sentence about the attachment of people to technology, which is not supported by the original claim. The writer also indicates that these are negatives, which is a personal opinion not covered by the discussion instruction. The writer has basically disregarded the original instructions and come up with his own interpretation of a topic which is far disconnected from the original, and without a chance of receiving a passing score. Always remember, the prompt restatement + personal opinion is not the place to begin the discussion of the topic, which is what the writer mistakenly did in this presentation.

## The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society Thanks to technological advancement- with the aid of various state-of-the-art devices, people these days are able to communicate via online social networking sites including Facebook, Messenger or Telegram. As far as I am concerned, there are both upsides and downsides to this phenomenon, yet its drawbacks still prevail. This essay will attempt to expound my standpoint as follows. To begin with, a great deal of advocates are inclined to the viewpoint that benefits of social platforms are varied. One of the most prominent attractions is the comfort amid distance communication. This is because people nowadays are increasingly accustomed to living in a world that appreciates intelligent gadgets and online apps, thus social media may play an integral role in their maxims. Take Telegram as a vivid illustration, this app enables people all around the world to connect, communicate and discuss their work through video calls with vivid images and stable internet connection and also without any charge of fees. These kinds of social platforms, moreover, are also perceived as a tool that enable far-distance relatives and acquaintances to stay in contact. On the other hand, despite these aforementioned merits described above, they are still eclipsed by the demerits. First and foremost, being over-reliant on these intelligent apps, people are more susceptible to a serious lack of social skills including face-to-face interaction, basic human contact and the confidence among the crowd. This has mostly stemmed from the fact that over-exposure to social media may discourage real interaction in public such as gestures and touch, which may drive them to the state of alienation and social predisposition. Coupled with this is the potential of cyber-crimes and anonymous hackers, who can easily steal their personal information and take advantage of them for negative purposes. In conclusion, it is incontrovertible that social networking sites bring in an array of benefits to occupied people as it can save a lot of time for them, yet it seems to me that direct communication could not be superseded due to basic human contact.

The writer has not done a very good job of restating the prompt. He over informed the reader, creating a discussion basis not indicated in the original presentation. This is actually just a 3 sentence restatement + writer opinion paragraph. After a simple topic restatement, the next sentence should have been a clear writer opinion based on the keywords "advantage or disadvantage". The last sentence should be the merged 2 reasons that will be discussed within the essay. This is the format that must be followed if the writer wishes to achieve at least a 50% passing score for the overall essay, based on the opening paragraph alone. The reasoning paragraphs are not convincingly developed. Why does the writer see the use of social media as a disadvantage rather than an advantage? Sure he stated that it is an advantage, but the focus of his essay must be on proving that the advantage, as believed by others, is actually a disadvantage. If one were to proceed to read the disadvantage paragraph, one will notice a disconnection between the previous paragraph and the next one. That is why it is important to use 2 topic and example paragraphs that focus on convicing the reader that the advantages are true disadvantages. The presentation is only acceptable in the last part, since this is the portion that supports the writer's actual opinion. The previous paragraph will not be considered a part of the developed presentation. It will represent an undedevelopment of the discussion instead and will lower the score accordingly.

## **Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food.** *Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.* It is a fact that people are doing great harm to their bodies by consuming processed food with a high frequency. To many people, the best method to preclude this growing pressing matter is education while others disagree and claim that educating people of the dire effects of unhealthy food will be of no avail. I personally agree with those who believe that education is the key to this problem. There are several ways in which educating might be ineffective in the fight against the consumption of processed food. The first reason is simply because it saves a lot of time in the current fast-paced lifestyle. In the hustle and bustle of the city rat race, people often crave time, always prioritise productivity and that's why handy food like that gain such popularity. In this case, the situation basically leaves them with little choice. The second rationale to ignore the role of education is that the price of this food is most of the time affordable. The fact why junk food is favour by most people, especially children and teenagers comes from its modest price for a nice treat. It can satisfy people of all socioeconomic statuses, from the people of low-income families to the affluent entrepreneurs who are always on business and lack time. However, I'm still on the side that without education, the problem will never be eradicated comprehensively in the future. All problems in society seem to stem from people's mindset and behaviour that is inherited in the environment they live in. For example, if a child lives in a house where his parents consume fast food on a daily basis, he may have the tendency to do so. The only way to break this convention is certainly a change in awareness that can only be brought about by education. With the equipment of knowledge, people may steer clear of this kind of food in aware of how detrimental it is or at least try to reduce how much they consume ready-made food. The educational programs and campaigns designed to raise people's awareness are in effect prove fruitful. For example, people gradually shift to a more healthy diet of vegetable-based meals made from home thanks to the growing amount of tutor videos about eating clean. Had it not been for education, people would never experience such a change now. In conclusion, while I agree that there are a couple of reasons why people can ignore what they know about the adverse impacts of overconsuming junk food, education still plays a vital role in the elimination of this issue. P/s: I know that I overwrite a lot, and I am desperate to know is there any way to make it more concise while at the same time remaining well-presented. Thanks a lot!!!

Since a specific question was indicated and the need for advice regarding it is evident, I will not be offering an essay review in this instance. I will instead, respond to the question of the writer. Yes, the essay is too long and can be shorter. That is why I recommend that the student not write more than 300 words for the total essay. 300 words is equivalent to 5 sentences per paragraph or 20 lines overall in the presentation. The best way to avoid overwriting is to avoid using place holders, word, sentence, or phrase fillers that do nothing to move the idea of the writer forward. Mentions of: In the hustle and bustle of the city rat race, In this case, For example, In conclusion are all unnecessary in the presentation as these are mere extenders used to meet the word count. Useful sentence ideas that actually provide concise content should be developed through the review and revision of paragraphs and sentences. Learn to compress the meaning of the sentence, without using a run-on. It is not important to overdiscuss and use a lot of words. Practice saying more with less words. This can be practiced by not using IELTS task 2 discussion essays yet. One can learn to practice the less is more writing style through the writing of task 1 analysis essays, which require no more than 200 words to complete. Perfect the task 1 essay word count and the task 2 essay presentation will be easier to accomplish in short form.

***Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? ( SOCIAL )*** While some people consider shortening the gap between the prosperous and the penurious as the most practical method to forming a wholesome society, I completely disapprove of this statement and I will recommend other ways that could make the living environment more auspicious. Granted, one might argue that narrowing the dichotomy between the rich and the poor would help society be more blissful because residents could have the same high living standard. To exemplify this, in some thriving areas, like Dubai, which are notorious for huge disproportionate wealth distribution, there exists a large number of residents staying in run-down neighborhoods and facing financial problems and these could lower the level of happiness. However, this line of reasoning is not sound on the ground that material possessions are not the culprit of social cheerfulness. Matter-of-factly, although living under luxury, some wealthy people do not feel happy enough while many disadvantaged people are satisfied with their lives. To add further credence to my assertion, I believe that instead of creating a minimal gap between social classes, the authority should pay heed to other aspects of life including health service and education. This is due to the fact that a healthy diet that consists of valuable nutrition like Vitamin A, minerals or Omega 3 could exert a positive impact on mentality to some extent. In addition, the school's curriculum should be dedicated to arts-based subjects and extracurricular activities rather than academic subjects. Consequently, students could have a window of opportunities to explore the meaning of life, forming a joyful society. In conclusion, bridging the gap between the privileged and underprivileged with a view to producing a happier living habitat is not an efficient approach. From my perspective, the cheerfulness of surroundings should be based on excellent health-care and comprehensive learning.

The writer has used several advanced English words incorrectly in this presentation. These improperly referenced words reduced the LR score of the presentation in a large manner. While it is clear that the writer is owning the opinion based on his pronoun usage, something that will help his C+C score, the problem with word usage cannot be ignored. He just uses words without knowing the actual meaning. What he wanted to say positively, due to incorrect word choice, became a negative, which ran counter to what he was trying to say. Those word usage errors are the biggest reason why his LR and GRA scores will be greatly reduced. The incorrect word choices has resulted in confusing statements that will leave the reader / examiner confused by the actual meaning of his sentence / paragraph. When confusion occurs, a failing score will be given to the GRA section. These errors will result in a failing final score even as the writer has met the word count and response format requirements.

## Women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test The bar chart illustrates data about the average of males and females who have done their driving test in certain area in Asia, between 1980 and 2010. In general, there was a significantly upward trend in the porpotion of both genders who completed driving test, even though the percentage of women was dominated over the period. Looking at the details, at the beginning of the period, the rates of women who succed in driving test just over 50%, which was the slowest number and this percentage slighty increase nearly 52% in 1990. Continue this trend, the number of females passing drive test reached a peak, approximately 70%. However, this number saw a sightly went down at the end of the period, more than 60% Besides, the rates of men who passed driving test was rapidly went up in the first 20 years. The number of driving test, which was done by males, was began at around a third percent, and sharply increased to 50% in 2000. This number was remained stable at the end of the period.

The summary overview needs to indicate that there are 2 divisions present in the bar chart. If the writer will review the image, he can see that the male and female results are not a combined result presentation but a divided one. Therefore, that separation of results needs to be clearly indicated for the benefit of the reader. By the way, the paragraph is going to lower the GRA score since it represents a run-on sentence in a presentation that requires 3-5 sentences instead. So the summary overview will be problematic when scoring considerations are applied. There are definite problems with English word usage throughout the essay. The writer consistently misuses and incorrectly spells words such as porpotion and sightly Those spelling and word usage errors are only the start of the problems with regards to sentence structure in the presentation. The writer does not show an ability to properly develop a clear thought presentation in his sentences due to the incorrect grammar and incorrect sentence structuring in the paragraphs. These numerous errors will result in 2 failing scores covering the LR and GRA sections. These problems may result in a less than passing score had this been an actual test setting.

## Crimes committed by young people are increasing in major cities throughout the world It is an alarming fact that the juvenile crime rate is growing in metropolises around the globe recently. Although there are some underlying causes of this concerning phenomenon, some measures can be adopted to tackle the problem. The main and perhaps the most persuasive explanation for this tendency would be the lack of parental concern and attention. Without control, people at young age are very impressionable and have little ability to resist temptation in a world strewed with traps and pitfalls. As a result, youngsters will be easily lured into partaking in committing crimes by social convicts. To deal with this, it is of utter importance that parents must take the responsibility to spend time in their own busy lives to make sure that their children are looked after and orientated the right direction. Another vital factor which triggers the increase in youth-perpetrated crime is the unemployment. In this day and age, there is influx of immigrants into cities with hopes of earning their living, mostly young adult. Nevertheless, they will soon suffer from disillusion of city life with the harsh realities of unemployment and poverty - the only choice for them is turning to crimes such as burglar or robbery so as to get money. A practical measure that could be taken on this front is that governments should have job creation schemes which are suitable with each's capacity to aid them have subsistence wages. In conclusion, while the escalation in crimes undertaken by young people is worrying, by applying some steps the problem can be considerably diminished, if not altogether eliminated.

The writer should not sensationalize the reference to the given topic. It does not add to the restatement accuracy and instead, leads to a topic alteration which could adversely affect the score for the paragraph. Merely repeating the discussion instruction also fails to meet the clear opinion presentation requirement for the paragraph. The examiner does not need to be told what the discussion is about. He already knows that. What he does need to know is how well you can state the basis for your opinion within 2 sentences, using the questions provided as a guide. The prompt restatement + writer's opinion failed to accomplish that in this paragraph. A very good first reasoning paragraph was provided. It effectively uses the cause + effect + solution presentation. That is a strong paragraph even though the solution sentence could have been more effectively stated, maybe over 2 sentences rather than 1. There was room for a longer explanation, the writer has only used 263 words of the 300 maximum anyway. Reason number 2 does not focus on juvenile delinquency as the topic. Remember that the focus is on young people, not young adults who need to work. The idea behind the essay is that crimes are committed by members of the youth sector who are not old enough to gain employment yet. That is an irrelevant discussion that will be awarded points based only on LR and GRA considerations. It cannot be given a C+C score because of the deviation in discussion focus.

## obligatory education or not? The age to entering academic training is of great concern to children's parents. While most people agree that education is obligatory for children at certain ages, others believe that everyone has their personal right to choose the time to start official education. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and elaborate on my opinion. There are two underlying reasons why giving children to have intensive schooling at the right age is considered an optimal choice for most parents. First, children should be furnished with knowledge at a suitable time which is proved to help them develop intellect comprehensively. For example, English is allowed to be taught to children at kindergarten because it strengthens their memory and mindset. Moreover, stimulating children's interest in learning at an early age makes a contribution to maintain their good studying habits. In addition, education is regarded as one of the best ways to ensure children's career prospects in the future. Equipped with knowledge, children will have a positive attitude and behavior toward life. On the other hand, each people's learning process depends on various key factors. The fact that whether people begin to enter education early or late is reliant on not only their families' financial condition but their physical and mental health background as well. Typically, parents tend to let their children go to school a certain period later than others do in the light of their health condition from birth. In addition, the low rate of educational participants is prone to be seen in poor rural areas or underdeveloped countries. Besides that reason, the time to leave school is also influenced by individuals' choices. Some people choose to learn vital skills from hands-on experience in place of academic subjects. That is their orientation to their future career path which deserves to be respected. To conclude, compulsory education and the freedom to attend academic training have their undeniable advantages. In my point of view, these two methods of education should be integrated by the government to function most effectively.

The writer must be concerned with the number of words that he uses to complete his discussion. He must remember that this is a mere opinion statement and not a comprehensive discussion. It should be completed within 250 to 300 words. Owing to the 40 minute time limit and the need to edit, proofread, and finalize the content of the essay, he should not be writing more than the aforementioned number of words. The overwriting can be prevented starting in the first paragraph by not altering the simple thought presentation of the original. His version includes superfluous discussion points that are not a part of the reference material. He is actually changing the discussion basis by adding personal thoughts and sentiments in the restatement portion. Not that he is not allowed to do this because he actually is allowed to that, just in the personal opinion presentation + reasoning topics. By merely changing the position of the sentiments, the writer goes from score reducing (due to irrelevant information) to score increasing (based on opinion clarity via supporting reasons). When discussing the public opinions, the writer needs to work harder on making it clear that he is explaining the public reasons for supporting or not supporting the reasons provided. This is done by differentiating the reference point. The use of third party pronouns will actually be beneficial when doing this. It is important to separate the presentation views because the writing instruction clearly indicates that need. By not doing so, the writer does not follow the correct presentation format. The personal opinion, presented as a stand alone paragraph will benefit the most from the correct first person reference points as well. These will help create a comprehensive short discussion presentation. A discussion does not need to be very long. It just need to meet the writing requirements regarding opinion clarity, proper word usage, and grammar rules. When an essay becomes too wordy, the writer sacrifices these scoring considerations, opening himself up to more errors and being unable to correct them in the process. In truth, I could go on reviewing this essay deduction point by deduction point but that would be best addressed by a private consultation with me.

***Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community.*** ## Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages Some people reckon that it should be mandatory for the youth to partake in voluntary works as a way to help fellow citizens. While this practice could present drawbacks relating to time management and teenagers 'exploitation, from my point of view, the overall impact is tremendously positive. On the one hand, that the young could derive substantial benefits from such works is in plain sight. First, volunteering may inspire in them a spirit of dedication and responsibility. As it is observed that the youth are intrinsically inclined to show scant concern for their surroundings, voluntary works could be a chance for them to dig deeper insight into lives of their fellow citizens, especially the underprivileged. With such activities as collecting trash under sizzling weather or delivering food, teenagers can grow into empathetic citizens who realize their accountability to the society. Furthermore, unpaid work could facilitate a safe and secured career. To be more specific, employers are apt to appreciate those taking part in voluntary work and contribute to the society since these candidates are considered to be equipped with requisite practical skills. Google, a large multinational firm, only recruit employees that have even-handed experience. Lacking this, candidate could fall behind by their competitors. As it shows, voluntary work could be beneficial. On the other hand, there might be some drawbacks that need mentioning. The main reason is their shortage of time. Undoubtedly, teenagers have to allocate much of their time on study, however, volunteering means they need set aside a considerable time for such works. This, in practice, is annoying for those in final grade who prepare for the entrance exam. Consequently, diminuting study time could culminate in their poor academic performance coupled with a bleak career prospect. Moreover, that the young could be taken advantage seems liable. This is because several organizations endeavor to promote their image through such voluntary activities. Thanh Cong, a Vietnam food company, used to ask young participants to distribute flyers to raise public health awareness, but they actually contained adverts for their products with an aim to proliferate their sales instead. Therefore, it presents several drawbacks when it comes to volunteering of teenagers. In conclusion, while the youth's partaking in voluntary work represents such downsides mentioned above, these are surpassed by such benefits as responsibility and career fulfilment. Hence, teenagers should spend time joining unpaid work.

The student has successfully failed to address all of the prompt requirements for the following reasons: 1. He changed the discussion from a comparison of advantages v. disadvantages to a positive v. negative discussion ( a different prompt requirement) 2. He spends too much time providing examples that confuse the discussion as these tend to stray from the original discussion and focus (employment has nothing to do with the discussion). He should be explaining his opinion instead based on only a single example, focusing in reasoning and logic after that presentation. 3. He offers an opinion when he is only being asked to compare the two points of view. The writer does not understand the prompt requirement at all and can only receive scores for LR and GRA considerations. He will get a failing score. I have to be honest here and say that the student is not showing any improvement with his essay writing approach. Instead, he is getting worse in his presentations. He seems to be ignoring the advice that I have been giving him. It is difficult to give new advice when the writer has not corrected the previous problems and instead, added new errors to his newest presentation. Since there is no improvement to be found, I do not see how I can continue to help him going forward.

## literature at schools Over the last few decades have seen dramatic ideas concerning the fact that literature including novels and poems do not need be taught at high schools as it is generally considered wasting students' time by many people. I completely disagree with this statement due to the reasons that is discussed in this essay. On the one hand, some people may consider the literature as a useless subject due to the fact that computer or science subjects are more likely to profit students in the future as well as the society. If they focus on their main field of study they could perform better at universities and get higher levels. As a result, they assume the literature as a mere subject when succeeding in their life and career. However, literature is always the best to assist people to gain linguistic skills, which is the priority requirement in work places. It is undeniable fact that most employees give more attention to candidate's social and communication skills, which is certainly shaped by studying literature. Furthermore, being familiar with the novels and poems would give the students an opportunity to broaden their horizons in terms of their cultures and traditions. In other words, students are supposed to taught about the history and unique cultural issues of their nation via novels and poems. For instance, the poem that boasts the native land describing its rare beauties and wonderful natives should probably make the reader love their country arousing their patriotic feelings. Therefore, literature is an essential subject and should never be taken away from the students. In conclusion, I would totally disagree with the people who support eliminating literature from high school,as it may bring more benefits to individuals.

The writer has over stated the original topic. It is no longer based on the simple original statement. This has caused a change in the discussion basis and in the process, a change in the topic slant. Point deductions based on inaccuracy will be applied. The beginnings of GRA scoring problems are also to be foundin the same paragraph with the use of a possessive apostrophe where none is needed. Do not use an apostrophe to create a plural word. That is incorrect grammar. Review apostrophe usage guidelines. The paragraph also needs to provide thesis foundations to give a clearer idea of the writers opinion basis. The prompt restatement + opinion paragraph is very problematic score-wise. Do not offer a contradicting opinion in the discussion paragraphs. The writer cannot oppose his own opinion because that will cause a task failure. It creates a confusing opinion presentation that invalidates his discussion response.

## investment in sport It is true that there are many nations financing for sports industry these days. While there are various reasons why governments pay attention to this, it is a proper investment since it not only improves human mental and physical health but also boosts economic growth. The main reason for the government spending a lot of money investing in sports is to strengthen their country's image. Because of sports programs' fame, sponsoring such events is an effective way to attract the public attention. When matches are broadcast and advertised on various means of media, information about them including their sponsors may leave a strong impression on viewers. A survey showed that half of the world's population followed and watched World Cup 2018. It means that a 90-minute tie can make the country sponsoring more famous than ever. Overall, I think that sponsoring the sports industry has positive effects on many different fields. Specifically, it entertains people, encourages fitness, and stimulates the national economy. Nowadays, people are so busy that they tend to choose boring sedentary activities to relax in their free time. However, the development of sports programs can be an alternative solution for them to recharge their mental batteries. Also, being inspired by athletes' positive energy makes everyone more motivated to join fitness centers, which profits athletic businesses. A recent study has illustrated that after an athletics competition, many people realize the spirit of sports. Therefore, they decide to register for Marathon Race established by private organizations in their area. This phenomenon makes people healthier and happier as well as helps the economy wealthier. To sum up, governments sponsor a great deal of money for sports due to their fame and reputation. Because sports are advantageous to both human physical and spiritual well-being and the economy, investing in them is suitable and valuable.

The first paragraph unnecessarily comments on the reality of government investment in sports. A statement that is not necessary since it is not being asked as a question in the original presentation. Therefore, it creates an inaccuracy in the restatement. By not responding to the reason why the governments invests heavily in sports, but giving a reason for it as a reasoning basis for the support, the writer's opinion is incompletely presented. Both questions must be answered in short form in order for the writer's opinion to meet clarity requirements. Using an apostrophe to create an ownership word where it should be indicating a plural form instead will result in lower GRA scores since the writer clearly does not know when you apply punctuation mark usage in a sentence. In the "why" paragraph, the writer does not effectively explain how sports helps to increase the profile of a country. How does advertising and a tied score in the game result in a higher country profile? Why does that matter? Examples used in the paragraphs need more consistency. There is a problem with the cohesiveness of the presentation in the paragraphs because the writer is trying to convey too many ideas, but very little explanations as to how these are relevant to the topic being discussed. Focusing less on the ideas and more on the explanation development, using appropriate and clear examples would help address that problem.

## The diagram below shows the process for recycling plastic bottles The process illustrates how plastic bottles are recycled. Overall, it can be seen that this is a step-by-step process that is comprised of nine stages, from collecting plastic bottles to producing end products. In the first stage, used bottles are thrown away and collected from recycling bins. After that, it is transported to a recycling centre by garbage trucks. This is followed by a hand-sorting process to different boxes, ones for those that meet the needs for standards that are required at the recycling centre. Subsequently, the selected bottles are compressed into blocks. The process continues with crushing that blocks into thousand of pieces, with these tiny pieces being washed. Having been washed clearly with water, they are sent to a machine that is produced plastic pellets. Before transforming into raw material, pellets are heated at moderate temperature. At the final steps of recycling plastic bottles, raw material is converted into end products which are clothes, pens,...

The writer should try to meet the sentence requirement for each paragraph. For an acceptable summary overview + trending statement, these sentences should be combined into a 3-5 sentence presentation. These should not be stand alone sentences since the combined sentence presentations are what create a comprehensive summary and understandable trend for the image presentation. The writer has taken too much liberty in shortening the diagram information. There are many ommitted keywords that should have been represented in the explanation paragraphs. Procedures and final results have also been incorrectly represented within the explanations. Incorrect punctuation marks are also present (a comma cannot be followed by ellipses). While the writer may have used a short presentation, he also sacrificed the clarity and accuracy of his report, the result of which may not be a passing score.

## broadband internet connections per 1000 people in 5 countries The bar chat compares the number of high-speed continuous internet connection of households per 1000 people in 5 countries during the period 2001 to 2002, and the sheet presents the percentage change . South Korea attached the highest proportion of connections in 2001 (around 12%), with only 20 percentage change . USA reached 93 connections per 1000 people in 2001，second only to SK，have the percentage change 170%. In Germany, the proportion of connections saw a 80% rise from 0.34% to 0.5616% . The increase in Switzerland was even bigger(from 0.36% to 0.792%). In Brazil, the percentage of connections rose from 0.33 to 1.089, with highest percentage change(230%). On the whole, high speed continuous internet connections in Britain, Switzerland and Germany are still in a small scale in 2002, while it covered one-fourth of the population in America and one-eighth of the population in South Korea.

Since there are 2 images presented, there should be at least 4 sentences in the summary overview. 2 sentences for each image must be alloted in order to clearly and separately indicate: 1. The image type 2. What the image represents The same considerations apply to the trending statement. There needs to be 2 trending sentences at least that will allow the writer to properly represent the highs and lows ( if any) of the images. These need to be properly highlighted to make it easy for the reader to remember the data presented. There is a slight confusion presented in the summary since the image information was stated as a run-on sentence. The last part of the explanation being confusing to read since it does not properly and accurately explain what the image is all about and what it represents. Was it really a sheet presented or a chart? I think there is also a problem with image identification in that section. Since this is a 2 image presentation, the correct reporting analysis format is the 4 paragraph version of the presentation. That way the writer will manage to create proper references to: 1. Summarized information + correct trending indicators 2. Proper image 1 analysis 3. Proper image 2 analysis 4. Overlapping or additional comparative data analysis if found within the report.

**Task 2: *Some people think that international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution, however, others think there are other ways.* ## Discuss both views and give your opinion.** *summary: Body 1: Quick discuss the cause of air pollution->conclude the benefits of car-free days->benefit in some aspects Body 2: Give 3 solutions: using alternative energy,monitoring plastic waste,using public transports* Many people think that international car-free days can curb the level of air pollution effectively. Meanwhile, others insist that there will be other proper ways. In my opinion, I side with the latter view. On the one hand, creating international car-free days can benefit the environment in some aspects. Today, one of the causes of air pollution is the emissions from transportation, namely CO2 and NO2. The working mechanism of a vehicle is burning fossil fuels such as coal,gas and oil to create energy to move, which also emits a huge amount of air pollutants and smog into the atmosphere. Therefore, having a day to not use any transportation can limit such a huge amount of exhaust fumes. However, it can only be beneficial for a short time. In other words, daily emissions can be about hundreds of times the reduction in these international car-free days, so it is not very effective as expected. On the other hand, I believe that there must be a lot of other ways to reduce air pollution. It is necessary for the authorities to encourage citizens to shift towards using alternative energy rather than relying on fossil fuels. Because fossil combustion is the main reason for the deterioration of air quality. In addition to this, the disposal of waste, especially plastic waste which emits toxic fumes when incinerating, should be regulated and monitored. The final solution can be the most effective way of reducing air pollution is to encourage people to use public transports in parallel with increasing the taxes on car ownership. Therefore, there are a lot of other ways to limit the level of air pollution besides international car-free days. In conclusion, in spite of the benefits that international car-free days brings to our environment, I still believe that there will be other ways to tackle this problem.

Thank you for outlining how you decided to approach the writing of the essay. I have to point out though that the method by which you decided to discuss the presentation does not meet the formatting requirements of the essay response. I am not sure if you are being tutored by someone else, in which case you should truly be having that person check your essay and not me because my teaching style is different, but my students use a different approach, one that is more centered towards correct scoring considerations. The main error the presentation is that you have taken a non-prompt responsive approach to the discussion. It appears that you have decided to create your own discussion focus, which will result in an automatic failing score. None of your discussion outline responds to the comparison discussion based on public reasoning and private opinion presentation requirements. The essay cannot be given a passing score when it does not discuss both views with an opinion comparison. The essay failed because it did not follow discussion requirements.

## People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. ***What are the reasons? What are the solutions?*** Nowadays, the consumption of sweetened drinks is dramatically increasing in society, which caused many health issues like obesity or blood vessel disease. The following essay focuses on the main reasons for being up of sugar-based beverages and proposes a number of solutions to make improve this situation. In terms of the leading reason, many corporations in the food and beverage business invest millions to make their drinks appear on all social media platforms. They hire models and celebrities to promote their new or renowned items, which draw the attention of large crowds, particularly young people. For example, Black Pink represented the Pepsi brand in 2020, allowing their revenue to massively increase. Furthermore, these beverages actually include a lot of additives such as caffeine and colorants. These substances provide an instant energy boost and help people to focus on their work and study, although they are detrimental to human health. Consequently, people drink more sugar-based drinks. What is needed to combat this problem is definite action. The most apparent approach, in my opinion, is the government's attention to imposing higher taxes on the manufacture and distribution of sugary beverages. Prices would rise significantly, but consumer purchases would decrease. Another solution to this problem would be to reduce advertising about sugary beverages in the media. Alternatively, there are programs that should be broadcasted to raise customers' knowledge of the possible medical concerns of sweetened sodas. In conclusion, influential commercials and addictive chemicals caused an expansion in the use of soft drinks. It is essential for both individuals and governments to implement effective sugar-reduction strategies.

I reviewed the original prompt and discovered that there is no reference to obesity or blood vessel diseases. These are considered results of overconsumption but were never referenced in the original prompt. Neither does it respond to either of the questions being asked in the discussion instruction. Therefore, the first sentence of this prompt restatement is useless and will only result in an inaccurate interpretation of the original topic. Never include references that are not included in the original as it lessens the accuracy of the reworded statement. While establishing what the essay discussion will be about shows that the writer is capable of properly repeating the instructions, that does not meet the "clear opinion" representation since it does not offer direct responses to the questions provided. Questions that, when answered in the short form, allows the examiner to score the comprehension and quick reasoning skills of the writer in relation to TA requirements. While the discussion provided is good, seeing as it properly responded to both questions in separate paragraphs, it could have been better. By using individual paragraphs to state the reason for the problem and then, explaining how to solve the problem in the same paragraph, the writer will have the opportunity to present more reasons and solutions (at least 2 of each) that would help the examiner provide a higher scoring consideration for the C+C sections, both of which require a clear explanation and connected discussion format in the presentation. So the format would be more effective as: Sentence 1: Reason Sentence 2: Explanation Sentence 3: Example Sentence 4: Solution Sentence 5: Explanation By using the format above, the writer will allow himself the opportunity to create more cohesive discussion paragraphs of the advanced kind. It avoids the need to constantly try to keep the paragraphs connected when a separate reason and solution paragraph is created. It is simpler to write and easier to connect in terms of topic coverage.

***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think that it is bad.*** ## Discuss both views and state your opinion. Some people argue that it is beneficial for the country to host an international sports event while others believe this is negative. While organizing this event might bring some disadvantages, I maintain the opinion that this is good for the host nation to develop its tourism and global cooperation. To commence with, being the host of an international sports event can have some demerits. Firstly, the host nation would have to allocate a large amount of money for the event to refurbish its infrastructure and hire employees. As a result, this could lead to a lack of budget for other emergency problems such as education or health care. Furthermore, the country organizing the event is likely to cope with environmental pollution. This could be explained by the fact that there would be many audiences who litter indiscriminately when coming to watch the live event. Despite the mentioned disadvantages above, I believe that hosting an international sports event is a good chance for the nation to develop in various aspects. The tourism industry of the host country can witness rapid development because of overseas tourists coming to cheer for their national teams. In addition, this event could help the host country widen its cooperation with global companies around the world. The reason for this is that this event will be broadcasted on the national channels of all the participant countries, which is an incredible chance to advertise and attract investment. In conclusion, although hosting an international sports event could have adverse impacts on the environment and state budget for urgent problems, I restate that this is a good chance to help the host nation develop its tourism industry and attract global investment

Avoid opening the prompt restatement with the same phrase as the original presentation. This is to avoid creating the idea that you are writing in a cut and paste format. Something that will lower the accuracy score of your presentation. It will also help the C+C score of your paraphrasing if you use individual sentences for each opinion so as to create a clear separation of public opinion views in your paragraph. The clarity of writing in this section carries heavy point considerations and you want to avoid any deductions, no matter how small, as much as possible. Good job on the formatting of your opinion statement. Extra points will be awarded for the cohesive writing that properly blends the thesis statement into the given opinion. That is what examiners are actually looking for. The reasoning paragraphs are not properly formatted. There should be a total of 3 reasons presented per paragraph. One each for the supporting, opposing, and personal opinion discussions. Clearly indicating the seperation of opinions by use of proper pronouns is also needed for a proper GRA score consideration. The presentations are confusing in the sense that it appears to all come from the personal opinion of the writer only. This is incorrect and will find the score of the essay being based on an under developed, and under represented discussion presentation.

## the fashion today The more human fundamental need increases, the more crucial clothing selection becomes. While stylishly dressing is highly valued for themselves, this trend also has some detrimental effects on our communities. Undeniably, fashion plays an indispensable role in the contemporary world. Firstly, one of the most significant reasons is that fashion is a fantastic opportunity for individuals' self-expression and character traits. Precisely, people entitle themselves to choose and wear whatever they relish. One enthusiastically pursues chic style; one wants to follow a street style or another craves to mix any beautiful items in their own way. As a result, creatively dressing boosts energy to love and value themselves, which remarkably contributes to their comfort and confidence in their life. At the same time, clothing selection choices benefit the general public to develop their creativity. However, there are several negative influences on our environment obtained from this trend. These days, a large number of people are highly interested in fast fashion because of its reasonable price. If we purchase luxurious brands that we do not actually need or wear once and discard them, we will live in a throw-away society. Therefore, a sheer volume of natural resources are wasted, and excess products are unconsciously thrown into the environment. Furthermore, those who are unaffordable with extravagant clothes, especially youngsters, may spend a lot of money or even get into debt, which puts pressure on the family's financial means. In conclusion, although fashion makes a beneficial contribution to our confidence and creativity, it also poses some catastrophic consequences on the environment and strains on a family's financial stability.

Fashion is not portrayed as a fundamental need in the first presentation. Therefore, it should notbe interpreted as such in the writer's version. This creates a topic misfocus that alters the original intention of the topic. The rewording must always be true to the original.That means not overstating the topic or changing the basis of the discussion. While it is nice to read the discussion instruction and question interpretation of the author, what the opening statement actually requires are sentence outline responses to both questions as these set the stage for the more comprehensive discussion paragraphs. That is sorely missing in the first paragraph. The discussion approach is appropriate. This is a well-developed comprehensive response that has just the right mix of presentations, transitions, and vocabulary to get a passing score or more. Word off caution though, do not over present the reasons. An additional reasoning topic at the end of a paragraph that does not develop further will reduce the score.

## technology brings fun to people These days, technology devices become more and more popular with people all over the world. People spend time on using technology devices too much, even in their leisure activities. From my viewpoint, this statement is negative because of the fact that it is harmful for our health and keeps us separated from community. One obvious reason is that using technology devices continuously in long term is harmful for our health. This means, this can especially affect to our eyes. For example, when using mobile phone too long, the green light from mobile phone does harm to our eyes. Because of that we can cause some problems with eyesight. Moreover, using technology devices too much can prevent us from exposuring to the sunlight. So that our body can not get enough vitamins to strengthen our health. Another negative reason is that, separating from the community. This can be explained by shortening our relationship in both friends and families. For instance, during the gathering day in our families, we spend most of time using our mobile phones or watching TV. This can leads to the lacks of understanding in each members in our famlies, so we can sometimes feel alone due to the shortage of connection. Furthermore, we use technology devices even in our leisure time, so we do not go out to meet our friends face to face, it keeps us separated from each other. In conclusion, this negative statement should be solved to make our daily life better. Human being depend on technology leisure activities brings many drawbacks due to all above reasons.

There are times when a restatement + opinion should only be 2 sentences long. This is one of those cases. Base the number of sentences in the first paragraph on the original. Mirror that number as closely as possible. It should not take more than the same to rewrite and respond to the question. Save all other filler information for the reasoning paragraphs. Aim for total accuracy in the introduction and thesis section. Remember there instructions for next time. As of now, the paragraph presentation works in an imperfect manner. It still accomplished the task. The reasons presented have an uneven presentation development. My observation is that the first topic presented is usually fully developed in terms of basis, explanation, and examples. The second topic is usually not as well threshed out in both instances which can lead to C + C deductions. Avoid a second topic presentation in the paragraphs if not necessary to do so. It results in a negative impact on the score. A more coherent wrapup of the discussion should be provided. It must be an accurate short version of the preceding paragraphs rather than a "refer to above" reference as done here.

## Bullying is a big problem in many schools. Causes and solutions? Since their introduction, all schools have had to face a common crisis, that of bullying. Whilst many have exerted significant efforts in search of plausible explanations and effective countermeasures, the problem still poses as detrimental of a threat as it always has. In accordance, this essay will discuss the main root causes and propose viable solutions. First and foremost, bullying may stem from toxic environments, in which children learn from the hostile behaviors of others. Copying is essential to development, playing a critical role during upbringing, hence the impressionable nature of youngsters. This, coupled with examples of antisocial qualities displayed by those in their surroundings such as family members, friends, or, neighbors would thus explain the reasons behind bullying. In addition, this negative phenomenon may also be inadvertently encouraged by a lack of proper punitive actions from authoritative figures. More often than not, perpetrators simply get away with a scolding and at worst, a beating, which does not leave any lasting impact on their mentalities. For instance, violence at school is usually met with a mere lecture from the principal, hence an increased disregard for consequences, encouraging the bullies to continue their abuse of others. In light of such mainsprings, a myriad of potential measures is available. Firstly, a stricter system should be implemented, increasing the severity of punishments and enforcing closer supervision. With this, not only will the cases of bullying detected and reported to staff rise substantially but the risk involved with such behaviors will also prove more apparent, deterring any future recurrences. Moreover, informative campaigns aimed at parents and adults for the advocacy of suitable, healthy conduct in the household should be organized. People will be allowed an opportunity to better themselves all the while setting positive examples for their children. In conclusion, bullying is caused by a variety of factors all contributing to its prevalence with the 2 most notable ones being toxic surroundings and inadequate punitive actions. Possible combative approaches include the introduction of a stricter system and campaigns aimed at informing guardian figures. Should society wish to resolve one of its most long-standing issues, proper attention and recognition by all parties involved is of the utmost importance

When writing these practice tests, the writer must ensure that he is doing so with a timer set at 40 minutes each time. That is to assist him in meeting the writing requirements of the essay, inclusive of the word count. It is not possible to write almost 400 words within this time frame based on the simple discussion requirements and 4 paragraph , 5 sentence requirement for each paragraph, within the task. It is not important to write a large volume of words when the discussion itself is empty of logic and reasoning such as this presentation. It is more beneficial to write a 250 - 300 word essay that has a clear thought process that will showcase the ability of the student to function properly in an English classroom setting. This is not a vocabulary writing exercise, this is a logic test. Can the writer explain himself in simple and understandable English without any exaggerations of over emphasis? Can he get to the point within a few minutes as he would be required to do so in an actual written class exam? The answer in this case, is no.

## UK and international students of information technology and international law The bar chart presents the comparison in proportion between international and British students achieving second class degrees or higher at a popular university of the UK in 2009. Overall, there were huge differences between the number of UK and international students gaining second class degrees or HIGHER in information technology and international law. In six remaining subjects, the distinctions were inconsiderable. Looking at the data, we can see that the percentages of students who had electrical engineering and information technology 's second class degrees from the UK was approximately 60%, less than all over the world (80-85%). The NEXT FOUR subjects WERE illustrated a contrasting trend. The number of UK 's students in Art history and Sociology took up the same proportion (80%), more than 5-10% compared to the others. While national students who got degrees in international law were 70%, the foreign students only accounted for 45%. We turn TURNING to the last field which had the number of British students dominated - English literature, with 75% MORE THAN 20 % COMPARED TO THE OTHERS . Especially, about nursing and accountancy, the percentage of students achieving a second or higher degree with British citizenship was the same as total friends from many countries around the world for one field, there were 75% and 60% ,respectively. To conclude, in 2009 among a famous UK university, major exchange students were keen on information technology, otherwise, British pupils prioritized art history and sociology.

The writer has written a task 2 opinion essay instead of a task 1 reporting essay. A task 1 essay is first identified by the number of words, no more than 200, and second, by the analytical report presentation. These are different from the task 2 essay that has a minimum 250 word requirement and a thorough personal opinion discussion. The writer also shows a lack of understanding when it comes to creating the report because he uses all caps in certain instances of the presentation, which will result in a failing GRA score because that is a writing rule violation. All caps are used only in certain instances, but never in a report presentation for data. That is not how information is highlighted in a task 1 report. It is done through the use of proper professional and academic terminologies instead.

## **In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing.** *Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.* Longevity has seemingly constituted a blessing for centuries, but it has, in effect, both upsides and downsides. In this essay I will discuss them, including the idea of how life span extension sounds appealing to senior citizens and the painful truth of living a longer life. Overall, I think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, increasing life expectancy is advantageous to a certain extent. First, it offers people opportunities to fulfill their wishes and obligations. Following retirement, the amount of pension received and spare time available can be made use of in order to make one's incomplete dreams come true, especially for those who are too occupied with workload in their earlier lifetime to travel to their favorite countries and keep a pet around their houses, for instance. Second, enjoying a longer life may induce a sensation of happiness. This is because elderly people have a tendency to show preference over observing the maturation of their offspring and grandchildren, which brings about nostalgia. On the other hand, the plus side of longevity appears to be just an illusion in reality. It is undeniable that the older humans become, the more likely they are to suffer from critical health disorders, so for most elderly people, special medical assistance is vital. Consequently, despite having an abundance of time, they may be stuck in bed due to a lack of physical conditioning which is a stumbling block to obtaining their intentions. What is more, it is currently a tendency for the young generation to send their parents into nursery homes because they cannot ensure enough time and effort for their children, let alone the elderly. This means the poor grandparents rarely have a chance to participate in raising the grandchildren, but resort to being surrounded by other old friends for the rest of their lives. In summary, weighing up both sides of the argument, I would say that although increasing life expectancy does have some desirable effects, including pursuing unfulfilled dreams and enjoying more happy moments with younger generations, the actual possible scenarios of diminished health conditions and tedious life in nursery homes more than justifies having it.

Why is the essay discussing centuries of long life? That is a misinterpretation of the topic for discussion and will immediately receive a failing mark in the TA section. The flowery words of the author do not help because he is inaccurately representing the discussion topic, requirements, and how these relate to his personal opinion. the essay has already received a failing score because of the incorrect restatement + personal opinion approach. The essay will definitely receive a failing score because the writer used a personal opinion to close the discussion. The summary conclusion requires the summation of the previously presented discussion paragraphs. It does not allow for the presentation of a new or continued discussion because a new discussion cannot be considered a summary. A summary is a recap of the previous presentation, which a personal opinion discussion does not accomplish. The essay does not have a chance of receiving a passing score because the writer was incapable of following the discussion requirements for the task and the expectations for the discussion by the examiner.

## The bar chart report The bar chart reveals information about the percentage of customer satisfaction with airline agencies while the table illustrates statistics about five aspects of the flying experience during the years 1999, 2000, and 2007. Overall, client satisfaction increased considerably over the period given, whereas the number of dissatisfied people indicated the opposite. In any case, the courtesy of flight attendants showed the highest content compared with other aspects. The uncomfortable seats were the cause of people's disappointment. The proportion of people who felt satisfied with airlines in 1999 was 65%. One year later, it gradually rose to 69% before reaching its peak of 72% in 2007. By contrast, the percentage of dissatisfied customers decreased continuously from 32% to 24% in 2007. According to the table, travelers were most pleased with airline staff and plane schedules and least pleased with the seats. The data demonstrated that only 47% of travelers felt the seats were comfortable in 2007. Besides, there was no data shown from 1999 to 2000. Although the rate of pleasure of check-in/ gate agents fell in 2007, it tended to increase to 89% in the US during 2000. The satisfaction with the courtesy flight attendants grew to start in 1999 and was highest at 92% in 2007. Moreover, the satisfaction with ticket prices and schedules progressively rose by 20% and 4% respectively.

The statistics about airline agencies are a totally different discussion presentation from the 5 aspects of flying experience. Though both are connected to the topic of flying, these represent 2 different discussion ideas. It is because of the different representations that the ideas should not be presented in a single sentence. These should be presented in 2 separate sentences within the same paragraph to clearly represent the image focuses. These ideas should be identified with its accompanying image rather than as a collective statement. A collective statement does not always increase the clarity of the discussion topic presentation. The trending statement lacks clarity. It does not differentiate between the source of information (which image?) and how these measurements were collated (type of measurement). The trending statement was more confusing rather than useful and informative in this case. Use a uniform discussion presentation. Indicate which image is being analyzed in the paragraph. Make sure to anchor the image to a starting year to add to the authority and accuracy of the discussion. Without a uniform presentation, the paragraphs tend to confuse the reader with the information presented.

***Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Any latest pieces of information discovered in the scientific, business and academic world is considered better to be widespread to the public while others hold the opinion that they should be kept in confidence or shared only with a price because of their value and importance. In my opinion, any discoveries in each field should be made known to the masses. On the one hand, it goes without saying that the benefits of sharing will be enjoyed by the whole society, regardless of gender, race, religion and social status. If information is kept from being widespread, then the possible case is that only the elite and high profile people have the access to such precious and revolutionary breakthroughs. This may hold society back from making impressive strides towards the future as several pressing matters such as the ongoing plague, poor crop yields will not be timely tackled. For example, if the knowledge of the COVID-19 vaccine production had been maintained as a secret for profit-making, the mortality rate amongst those who unfortunately contracted this lethal virus would be much higher now. On the other hand, however, the disclosure of invaluable news discovered to the masses in a country or even all around the world would be of a great sacrifice to the company, organization or individual who poured a lot of their efforts, money time to bring it into the light. We humans all have to accept that in order to research or invent something, to crystallize a business theory or to try a new pedagogical method can cost an astronomical price tag, a huge amount of time spent in researching, analysing, going through trials and errors, not to mention the mental fatigue caused by long hours of working as well as unwanted failures. Moreover, the huge profit they can amass through their work is so enticing and can assure them a better life as well as the resources to satisfy their passion for further creations. Having said that, I believe there would be no big difference once their work is shared freely. Firstly, as long as it does good to society's well-being, there is no reason for the government to deny any petition for resources to conduct a new project. Secondly, the biggest happiness of an inventor who is really passionate about the job he is doing may not be derived from the money they will earn but how it can change the world for the better. Being recognized by a lot of people would be better than keep it to yourself and sell your work as a product. In this case, it means no more than a merchandise while if it can help people, it is invaluable and many people will remember you as, say, a hero. In conclusion, the merits brought about by keeping new information confidentially are all eclipsed by those of sharing because of all the humanitarian reasons behind this act.

The opening sentence of the prompt restatement is confusing to read. It is stating the first information as a fact, which means there should not be an opposing idea presented in the same idea. A sentence is considered to be clear in its topic statement only when it contains one subject in the presentation. The author used 2 ideas in one sentence. Which is why the sentence structure became faulty and confusing in idea statement. Always present the opposing ideas as such. Refer to opposing sides using group pronouns to achieve this. Make sure that each sentence is understandable through single idea presentations. These sentences can be in the same paragraph, just make sure the presentation sentences are cohesively structured to better support the restatement. The proper use of group pronouns in the discussion paragraphs are necessary to create the expected point of view reference points for the examiner. Without the group pronouns, the ideas become a general statement from the mind of the writer alone. That is not the purpose of this essay. Its purpose is to compare and contrast 3 points of view, 2 public, one personal. Without the proper pronoun usage, this becomes impossible for the task to achieve. Do not get me wrong, the reasons provided are sound and acceptably developed. The problem, is that a general presentation does not support the required discussion format for comparative essay writing in this task.

***Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic.** **Some people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it.*** ## discuss both views When it comes to the decision of whether pregnancy termination should be prohibited or not, opinions differ among people. Although it may have some negative effects, I believe that it is more advantageous if they allow abortion. On the one hand, abortion ban has a good influence on individuals and society. It is such a dangerous procedure that the mothers could be put at high risk for some health problems like infection, bleeding, heart diseases, and so on. Even if the operations are conducted legally at hospitals with high expertise doctors and good medical conditions, these risks are just minimized, not wholly disappear. Furthermore, pregnancy termination is considered to be murder. As life is likely to start at the beginning stage of pregnancy, putting an end to it means killing a person. On the other hand, this method should be legal for some benefits. To begin with, abortion can help prevent women from poor living conditions when they are not in a position to give birth to their children. Some may suffer from financial problems due to unemployment and the responsibility to pay for baby nurture expenses such as milk, clothes, or education. Whereas, a large number of teenage moms, especially in the least developed countries like Pakistan, will be forced to leave school and get married early, which could drive them to a future of joblessness and poverty. Moreover, abortion could save women from mental breakdown, depression, or even suicide in case of unintended pregnancy, for example, as a result of rape or forced marriage. Another advantage is that it ensures the rights of women to make decisions about their bodies. As the unborn baby in the womb is a part of the mother's body, no one other than women can ultimately decide whether to bear or not. In conclusion, it seems to me that abortion should be permitted to enhance life's quality and guarantee the execution of women's rights.

There is a complete lack of pronoun usage in this essay which indicates that the public opinions were not properly considered in the discussion presentations. All of the information stems only from the personal opinion of the writer. Where "Discuss both views" are indicated, the keywords "Some people" and "others" indicate the points of view to be referenced in the reasoning paragraphs. These indicators require the use of group pronouns in the presentation to allow for a defined method of presenting both supporting and dissenting opinions. The writer must use first person references whenever needed to indicate the separation of 3 opinions in the presentation: the public in support, the public in opposition, and the writer's point of view. The summary conclusion is also too brief to be considered a proper recap of the discussion. Aim to write 3 sentences composed of 40 words next time. That means, properly summarize the topic, discussion points, and a closing sentence to end the paper.

## IELTS TASK 1 - Water Usage The pie graph provides a comparison of water consumption for three different purposes including industrial, agricultural, and domestic in six areas of the world. From an overall perspective, it is evident that all areas spent the most significant proportion of water used on agriculture. However, North America and Europe used water largely in the industrial sector. Agricultural used water was highest in Africa, central Asia, and Southeast Asia with a percentage higher than 80% while domestic and industrial allocated at lower than 20%. Regarding North America and Europe quite similar the proportion of water used when the percentage of industrial respectively 53% and 48%. Around 30% - 40% of the water is used by agriculture and around 15% for domestic use in both these regions. For South America, agricultural use of water is 71% of the total, and industrial and domestic use make up for 19% and 10% of the total, respectively. *

The pie chart enumeration in the trending paragraph is not complete. It should mention all 6 countries as represented by the 6 pie charts. Otherwise the reader finds himself repeating the statement, counting off the countries mentioned in comparison to the number of pie charts provided. There is one missing. The trending statement has become inaccurate. Additionally, the trending statement should never include a reference to the measurements provided in the image. Only vague references can be made since the trend is not an actual part of the reporting analysis paragraphs. Since there are 6 images provided, this should be an analytical report based on a 4 paragraph presentation. The report is not properly developed and does not offer a complete / accurate analysis of all the image references. Since there are only 151 words provided, there is no way the examiner will consider this a comprehensive report. It should have at least 180 words written to achieve that task.

## IELTS WRITING TASK 2: INTERNATIONAL TOURISM **Topic: International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions on this?** *Answer:* Recent years have seen considerable growth in global tourism. Yet, there remain some controversies as to whether the overall effect of this tendency has been positive or negative. While there are certainly valid arguments to contrary, I personally believe that the benefits of international holiday making far outweigh its drawbacks. There are two primary reasons for this. Firstly, global tourism tends to export many positive aspects of the young generation's knowledge. It's an undeniable fact that this trend revolutionizes personal understanding and tolerance between people of different cultures which creates knowledgeable citizens over the world. For example, along with the booming increase of the desire for their children to travel oversea, there has in fact been a proportional growth in the achievement of multinational knowledge, as well as the positive attitudes toward distant nations among youth. Despite the trivial changes it has been bringing, it's a significant step toward developing potential generation. Further and even more salient, though, is the undeniable economic prosperity it has brought to many destination countries. Since most international tourists are frequently affluent, the influx of them has provided a remarkable fortune, especially for developing countries like Vietnam. Admittedly, the moral decadence of tourists has been causing environmental degradation, however, with the dominant cash flow and regulations relating to ecological preservation that have been enforced this moral issue can be resolved in the foreseeable future. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the flourishing international tourist industry has had a positive impact on modern life because of its influence on human knowledge and the prosperity of host nations.

Where there is no evidence to any controversial claims made in the original reference, none should be made in the restatement. That is because additional information is not a scoring requirement, but rather a scoring deduction in this particular section. The writer is expected to restate the topic without any exaggerations or additional information because that is what a restatement is all about. A factual representation of the writer's understanding of a given topic, without any influence of a personal opinion or exaggerated references. Why? When those 2 aspects are included in a restatement, it changes the discussion topic and reasoning platform, things that run counter to the expectations for a prompt restatement. The writer did a good job of stating his personal opinion but it was not a complete success. He stated that he had 2 reasons for his belief and yet, he did not outline what these discussion reasons were. The need to outline the discussion reasons are 2 fold: 1. The writer shows the examiner how well he understood the discussion topic 2. It allows the student to have an outline to follow while writing the essay. It is evidence that the writer took the time to analyze, outline, and actually draft the essay. Things that will help when he is finalizing his response presentation. The writer has the right ideas in support of his opinion. However, his discussion is not focused on the correct development of these thoughts. His presentations are lacking in proper sentence development and appropriate word usage. He does not deliver a clear thought process because he is trying to complicate the discussion with advanced word usage, when he does not know how to appropriately use these. He was incapable of proper word usage since he does not have the proper sentence writing skills to come up with advanced sentence and paragraph presentations.

**Question:** ***New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time.*** ## Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? **Answer:** It is controversial that technological advances may have some effects on children's leisure time, which may replace some useful habits. In spite of several benefits that this trend provides, it seems to me that its problems are more significant. On the one hand, modern devices can be seen as positive for several reasons. To begin with, children can increase their visual and logical thinking by playing computer games. For example, some videos and role-playing games such as Batman: Arkham Knight, Mortal Kombat, and PUBG, and some interactive games can increase their flexibility and creative thinking. In addition, the Internet is an ideal way to keep abreast with many events which occur in daily life as well as some recreational activities, some news that is trendy for younger generations, some stories and information or courses in different fields such as English, Math, etc. in terms of e-reader in lieu of spending time and money going to the shop to buy these. This can result in easily catch up with the latest information and enhance their knowledge even though we stay at home or travel. However, I totally argue that technologies can bring some demerits for children. The main problem of this phenomenon is that some information posted on some social platforms is fake. For instance, Wikipedia, which is a website has an open source, is always edited by many people easily. As a consequence, children can be easy to approach false information about facts, historical events, or academic materials, which can lead them to wrong cognitive development. Furthermore, technologies also exert a negative influence on children's lifestyles. This is because children can be addicted and dependent if they spend too much time playing video games. As a result, it can cause damage for their eyes as well as lead them to sedentary lifestyle that makes children more overweight and affect to their health. In conclusion, it seems to me that the disadvantages of using technology to kill time are far overshadowed the advantages due to unrated information and the way children use it which I mentioned in the essay.

There is a problem with the prompt restatement in this presentation. The provided topic is an idea presented in a straightforward manner. There was no reference to a controversy nor a reason for the statement to be controversial. The exaggeration was an unnecessary attempt on the writer's part to over emphasize what should have been a simple discussion rewriting. There is no "controversial" topic being discussed, merely a public opinion. The rewrite also states that which may replace some useful habits. which is not part of the original reference. The writer made 2 topic presentation alterations which no longer aligned the idea presented with the original. There will not be any passing score awarded to this paragraph even as the writer's opinion is correctly presented. Further problems arose when the discussion veered into the comparative opinion presentation when in reality, the only discussion option for this essay was a single opinion defense. No points will be awarded for the first reasoning paragraph which does not support the given opinion of the writer. Partial scores can and will be awarded for the second paragraph that fully supports the writer's given opinion. It would have been more beneficial to the overall score had the writer used the 2 reasons in the 2nd paragraph as separate supporting evidence for his personal opinion instead. That would have created more cohesive discussion points for the writer's opinion, resulting in a better overall score based on discussion connectivity.

***Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Information is one of the most valuable things in human life from past to present. From this perspective arise debatable topic about whether knowledge in scientific research, business or academic world should be spread as widely as possible, or should these information being kept secretly because some of them are crucial and treasurable. Bases on these two views, I will illustrate my opinion in the essay below. Putting the first view onto account, there are some pros and cons about it. The first thing that this action brings to is more value knowledge being approached by in-need people. Though not everyone keen on academic information, once it is brought widely it will benefit many students or researchers major in that aspect. Then from those leads to another pro is that there will be more and more excellent people to dedicate for the major in the future. However, sharing those valuable information can be useless, as being said before, not everyone have an interest in academic knowledge. Coming to the opposite side, people say that information should not be spread widely may be true. Some knowledge about scientific research or business can be a cause to some damage. For example, if a report about living things outer space is confirmed to be exist, people will afraid and unconscious about it, leading to some chaos around the world. Next, if being spread they must charge fee for the information because it valuable and maybe it is a hard work of someone, and they deserve to receive an equal remunerate. Personally, there is no need to share information about science, business, or education worldwide. One reason is that it meets very interest of very few people. The other is that valuable things are only value when being a secret and hard to approach things. In conclusion, though many people prefer to share science, business, and academic information worldwide, in my point of view, I rather keeping them privately or charge fee for anyone who wants to access them.

There is no need to over write this essay response. Bear in mind that it is the clarity of the discussion presented that is scored and not the length or word count of the essay. While the essay would automatically pass if only the word count is considered, the clarity of the thought presentation is actually the major consideration when scoring the essay. That means, the sentences need to be in near perfect English form as much as possible. Coherent presentations through proper sentence structuring and word usage are major considerations when the examiner reads the work. That coherence can be accomplished only if the paragraphs have correct references in terms of pronoun usage and word usage. Since this is a "discuss both views and provide a personal opinion" essay, the presentation should have accomplished the following in the discussion: 1. Present the public opinion individually 2. Explain the basis for each public opinion in individual paragraphs 3. Offer his personal insight for each POV based on his understanding of the public stance. Pronoun usage should be more pronounced in the presentation since there is a requirement to differentiate between POV presentations. The more group pronouns used in the public consideration, the clearer the opinion separation and idea discussion will be. All points must be equally developed. The personal presentation in this response is not as well developed as the first 2 paragraphs, that shows a lack of analysis on the part of the writer. He should have elaborated on his personal reasons a bit more. The summary conclusion is insufficient. It only presents one of the two public opinions. The writer's opinion should have come after the restatement of the 2 POV's and its supporting reasons. These are the reasons why I must repeat that the emphasis of the writer should be on the quality of the work rather than the quantity of the words in the essay.

## The maps illustrate how the beachfront area in Australia changed in 1950 and the present day. Overall, significant changes have been made in term of the front coast, especially on the eastern side of the beach. ・Firstly, the beachfront has been developed and the number of car park has increased In 1950, there was only a road branch lead to the car park. A road has been expanded to the beach, as there are now two car parks, which are belonging to the road. The playground has been replaced by the car park the dinning tables and pavillon remains in the same place, which is located in the middle of two car parks. The light house remains in the same place and appears at the end of the road. Two clubs have been constructed opposite each other. The surf club is located on the west side near the 50m pool. And the other club is located near the lighthouse and the 25m pool. There were two pools having the same size, which is 25m but the one on the west side has been changed and is now much larger. A restaurant has been built up near the 50m pool. Finally, the beach is unchanged. * *The maps below show a beachfront area in Australia in 1950 and today.*

Actually, the summary should include the number of images . There should also be a clear word reference to the succeeding action of the report which is a comparative analysis. Please note that bullet points as used above should not be reflected in a task 1 presentation. While the differences are well reported these should have been done over the course of 2 analytical paragraphs. One for the original layout and a separate one that compares the changes then and now. These are apart of the expected format presentation requirements. Failure to meet this will result in accuracy deductions. The paragraphs should be divided by map title for clarity. Current reporting on the part of the author is thoroughly confusing as the data fails to clearly indicate the "when" of the information shared.

***In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods (television, microwave, oven and rice cookers).*** ## Is it positive or negative development? It is a norm for families these days to equip their houses with a variety of household electrical appliances. In my opinion, both merits and downsides can be seen in such a tendency, however, I would argue that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits significantly. The fact that people direct their concerns towards household products is emblematic of a rise in living standard. Those appliances are virtually indispensable to families as it not only saves a great amount of time regarding domestic work but also plays a wider role in the mental life as well. For example, the Vietnamese traditional Tet holiday has food as the fundamental part and during this Lunar New Year celebration, people, especially women used to be in the tremendous and time-consuming business of preparing dishes peculiar to the festival. With the help of kitchen appliances, however, this work no longer occupies so much time as it took. Seen from the psychological perspective, this increases the time for other activities, such as a leisurely meal, which make life seem much easier. Furthermore, digital household goods like a television also contribute significantly as entertainers after a heavy day at work. In effect, turning on the set has been an easy option on rainy days and a decent way to bring the family together with a good show. Despite the positives mentioned above, there are a couple of reasons that turn the activity of purchasing a wide range of household appliances into an overall negative one. Firstly, the usage of those devices certainly increases the electric demand around the world and in order to meet this surge in need, power plants will be erected more and more. This results in the exploitation of land resources as well as others like coal to operate and generate the gargantuan amount of electricity consumed in each household. Secondly, electrical machines and devices usually go unfashionable very soon as new versions come out. As a result, a throw-away society is formed with many adverse consequences to the environment, including the increasingly growing mountain of electronic waste. This type of waste is linked to serious health problems due to toxic chemicals released into the land and water or the air when exposed to heat. In conclusion, while I agree with the sort of entertainment and convenience electrical appliances bring about, I strongly believe that it is a detrimental trend considering the environmental impacts.

Always remember to use a timer when doing the practice test. That way an accurate assessment of written word abilities can be made by the writer. The word count is an important consideration often overlooked by exam takers as they neglect to edit and proofread their draft to enhance its potential final score. 399 words are unnecessary is a simple explanatory writing task such as this. Most specially when the opinion clarity and discussion format requirements were not met by the writer. The writer's opinion requirement is not comparative in nature. The instruction provides for a single opinion justification. It is important to learn how to analyze the prompt for opinion requirements. Where a clear compare and contrast instruction is not found, focus on a single opinion presentation. In this case the writer focused on proving both sides to be correct even as this discussion format ran opposite to his actual opinion. Therefore, the task discussion expectation was not met. There is no clear defensible opinion present in the essay. It has failed to properly discuss the topic based on the given instruction.

## the correlation between price of tv and average salary in japan A glance at the given line graph is an illustration regarding the different numbers for various television sets' costs while depicting the remuneration of the Japanese residents throughout 1970 to 2000. As can be seen explicitly from the chart, whilst there was a predominant decrease in TV prices, the figure for the average monthly income of Japanese surged progressively in the same time frame. Furthermore, by 1970, the number for spending on black and white broadcasting technologies had reached its highest peak before witnessing an overwhelming plummet in 2000. Getting into details, the expense of consuming the two-colored technological advancements, which were used to display content on a screen, experienced an influx reaching 110 thousand Yen from the beginning. Although the more cutting-edge ones constituted a lower rate (10 thousand Yen), compared to the old versions, by 2000 the television consumption values for both types had hit the rock-bottom. Moreover, the gap between the color TV and the black-white kind was expanded to 45 thousand Yen and 21 thousand Yean respectively. Meanwhile, below 20 Yen was given to Japanese employees in 1970 and this sector then stayed stagnation during the 20-year period until reaching a record high of approximately 70 Yen in the end. Finally, the year 2000 also suffered a three-fold increase in the figure of Japanese salary and the price of the older TV version that customers consumed. *

This is not an appropriate task 1 essay. It is only 20 words of the minimum 250 word task 2 essay, which has a 40 minute writing time. A task 1 essay should be a concise 175-200 word summarized report. Do not treat it like a task 2 essay because it is not. The report should not ask the reader to refer to the image in any way. It must describe the content of the image in an audience appropriate way, under the assumption that the image is not present. Avoid over emphasing the information as well. Exaggerated implications will not benefit the essay since the examiner will need to reduce the GRA score as such descriptive words will confuse the reader. Keep the formal tone at all times since this is a direct report essay. Efforts to create an impressive report were wasted in this exercise due to the aforementioned reasons. When writing the next test, consider these observations to improve not only the writing, but the scoring considerations as well.

***Computers enable people to be able to work at home and children to study at home. Some people believe that it is convenient and cost-saving.*** ## Do you think the phenomenon is positive or negative? Computers play an integral part in contemporary existence. Undeniably, these high-quality gadgets significantly contribute to the convenience of working and studying at home. While there are several benefits gained from computers, I firmly believe that dependence on them too much leads to some problems. On the one hand, humans can reap a variety of positive effects from computers. Firstly, there is no need for people to go to the office and children to flock to school in scorching hot weather, especially in the Covid-19 pandemic. Therefore, sitting in front of the glossy green at home, officers stand various chances of working and relaxing in their own ways conveniently. Additionally, computers consist of a slew of resources for students to self-study at home, apart from teachers' lessons. For instance, by containing several online-sharing English videos, Youtube can benefit children to advance their English skills and expand their vocabulary. Accordingly, it is cost-saving for them not to take any extra curriculum. On the other hand, there are some detrimental effects obtained from computers. Specifically, always paying attention to the screen can result in a sedentary life, which causes some health problems and diseases such as shortsightedness, obesity, and headache. More remarkably, if people depend on the computer too much, they can probably lack social skills, namely communication, teamwork, and problem-solving. Furthermore, children may abuse computers by playing games instead of learning without their parents' observation. As a result, they can lack concentration on studying, which would decrease their quality of learning. In conclusion, while making a beneficial contribution to the comfort of working and studying at home for people and children, computers also negatively influence well-being issues and attention.

Do not begin the opinion discussion in the first paragraph. While the writer believes he merely restated the prompt, the use of confirmatory words in the paragraph altered that approach, creating a series of opinion discussion points instead. That is not the purpose of this paragraph. The task response is also incorrect since it does not respond to the question in the expected format. A review of the concluding paragraph shows it would have been more appropriately used as the opinion response in the first paragraph. Right now, the first paragraph will not provide a scoring boost. The discussion paragraphs do not provide the necessary proof points that could support the writer's opinion, had he provided a correct point of view. It is clear that the writer did not understand the question which is why he could not provide a proper reasoning response explanation. This is a failing essay.

***Crimes committed by young people are increasing in major cities.*** ## Cause and Solution? In modern society, there is a rising tendency of youngsters committing crimes in large cities around the world. There are several reasons for this reality and it is of great importance to implement practical solutions to tackle this issue. This situation stems from various causes. One of the major factors leading to the degradation in the young's moral is the environment in which they live and grow up. If children are nurtured in an unwholesome neighborhood and expose to bad individuals, their mindset and characteristics can be severely affected, hence gradually shaping their behaviors in a negative way. Another root of young people becoming criminals is the relationship among family members as well as the care from their parents. In the hustle and bustle of major cities, many parents do not have much time for their offsprings due to the heavy workload and excessive working hour. Therefore, their children are not under their supervisor and can be enticed to develop criminal actions. Carrying out solutions to improve the situation is an urgent task. An effective method to be applied is raising children's awareness through education. It is recommendable to have lessons about social issues and adjust the young's behaviors, thus providing them with adequate knowledge to realize what are detrimental and illegal to do as well as preventing themselves from becoming wrongdoers. In addition, it is necessary for parents to arrange their work and spend more time with their children. Since parents are the closest people to their offsprings, having time listening to their thought and giving advice to them is a practical way to protect them from committing crimes. In conclusion, the reality of young people increasingly becoming criminals can be explained by some factors. However, as long as the causes are identified, the society and their family need to take steps to alleviate this situation.

The paraphrasing attempt of the writer is definitely successful. It stayed focused on the topic without adding or removing information and shows that the vocabulary knowledge is intermediate enough to warrant a good LR score. However, the task accuracy was limited in consideration since there were no clear responses to the 2 questions posed. The summary response is really an important score boost in that section. I do not understand why the writer felt the need to use 2 topic sentences at the start of the first reasoning paragraph. Redundancies lower the scores because the writer is deemed to be using sentence fillers to meet the word requirement. The paragraph is well explained and will benefit from the cohesive reasoning presentation. Word usage in the essay is relatively acceptable as it does not confuse the reader. That is not to say the sentences are perfect though. Far from it, but the writer manages to write coherent sentences, which is the point of the explanatory paragraphs. The conclusion summary is close enough to a good reverse paraphrase. It would have helped if the causes and solutions were summarized in the paragraph as well. Not to worry though. Even though it is 3 words short of the minimum 40 word requirement for the paragraph, it still works.

## road safety and age of the drivers In this day and age, traffic has been increasingly becoming a major concern of many individuals. It is widely claimed that raising the minimum legal age for motorists and motorcyclists is the most effective method to improve traffic security. From my perspective, I am wholehearted in favor of this statement. First and foremost, the primary justification behind my agreement is that the majority of youngsters are usually immature. In other words, they are likely want to show off themself in order to impress their peers by violating laws such as: wave in and out, drive without wearing helmet or run the traffic light, and seeming like it very cool. As a result, they have a tendency to break the rules more without thinking about consequences. Therefore, the proportion of fatality and mortality can undergo an uncontrolled leap. To illustrate, 60% patients' case who are meet accident in Bach Mai Hospital are caused by teenagers. Nonetheless, another significant reason why I agree with this idea is teenagers are lack of driving experience and problem-solving skill. This could be explained by the fact that they tend to violate the traffic rules frequently. Providing that adolescents continues to allow traveling, a vast number of detrimental accidents will happen. As a consequence, it can lead to a severe effects on not only society but also teenagers mental health which can make an adverse impact on their future. For instance, some recent researches show that adolescents who caused an accident from an early age are usually obsessed. In conclusion, the legal age of traffic participants should be increased so as to foster the road safety. In the future, more and more nations will be enforced strong policy in this field.

The most evident part of this presentation is that the writer clearly understood the topic and discussion requirements. While the opinion presented would have been stronger with summarized reasons present, it did not reduce the accurate and clear opinion shared with the examiner. Good job. If there are areas that the writer needs to work on going forward, these would he in relation to his grammar range and sentence formations. Just because his ill formatted presentations can still be understood does not mean that he should be satisfied with a mere low but passing score. Not when with improvements to his sentence idea presentations, he can manage a for higher overall score. By completing more grammar range exercises and applying those lessons to his writing, he can easily boost his score to at least a 7.

## bigger budget for trains or for public roads? **In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.** In modern times, many countries around the world have improved their transportation for citizens to commute to work and study. While there are others who advocate for the government to allocate the majority of the budget to creating more railway lines for fast trains to travel between cities, some believe that the money should be use to improve the current public transport. In my opinion, creating new railway lines for trains to travel will benefit society in the long term. On the one hand, people want to improve existing public transport for various reasons but mainly for its affordable price. Public transport does not require a large amount of fuel in order to transport people to their desired destination, which means the cost to travel with public transport will be less than a train ticket. Hence, more people would use public transport. For instance, in Vietnam, a bus ticket only cost around 20.000 dong to 50.000 dong to travel. On the other hand, I believe that constructing railway lines for fast train will be more beneficial in the long run. Firstly, increase job opportunities. Many people are searching for jobs that are around their city, which can limit their job search. With the construction of new railway lines, fast trains will be able to transport people to a different city with little amount of time cost. Thus, increase the range that they can get a job since they can travel to a different city with no time lost. For example, a person can travel to Hanoi to work or study and go back to their home back in Ho Chi Minh city. Secondly, reduce air pollution. A train can carry a large sum of passengers per travel, which means it will exhaust fewer fumes for travel. As a result, it will improve the air quality in the city. In conclusion, some people want the government to use the nations budgets to create railway lines for fast trains, while others think the money should be use to improve the current public transport. I believe that the construction of new railway lines will be more beneficial for the future.

The essay is too wordy for a task that needs to be completed within 40 minutes. This should not be more than 300 words long. It would help the author to learn how to use concise wording in the future. That is because the explanations do not need to be lengthy. It should just be long enough to justify the writer's opinion. Avoid long sentences since these run-on presentations make the essay more prone to unintentional C + C and GRA errors. This is one time where a shorter presentation would be better for the score. 275 is the ideal word length. I noticed that the supporting reason for the writer's opinion was (accidentally) placed as the opening sentence. In an actual test, that misplacement would result in a scoring markdown. To properly earn a score for that statement, it should accompany the personal opinion representation. That way it helps add to the accuracy considerations. The essay itself is not completely formatted as it does not clearly discuss the public vis-a-vis the personal opinion. Group pronoun usage to help explain the common opinion reasons prior to the writer's view must be indicated in relation to C + C and GRA scores. The clarity of the discussion is lost without these pronoun references. Several other shortcomings in this presentation are also present but unfortunately, cannot be accomodated in this thread. A private consultation may benefit the exam taker in relation to increased scoring potential.

***Sport has an important role in society. Some people believe that it is nothing more than leisure activities.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion? More and more people are involved in sporting activities in this day and age. While being a fundamental part of the development of society, sports are still considered by some individuals as just a pastime. Although I interpret this point of view, I am of the opinion that sports also have a great influence on our health and the economy. On the one hand, it is understandable that sports are claimed to serve only leisure purposes. Some people lack the innate gifts or physical characteristics such as flexibility, speed, and height to perform and play a professional athlete, which causes them to believe that sports only provide them with a sense of relaxation. For example, many students at schools reckon that sports are added to their curriculum to release their stress and pressure after Math or Physics lessons. On the other hand, there is ample evidence that sports play an indispensable part in our life. For a thriving society, each individual has to possess great health to work and contribute, which requires them to participate in sports regularly to improve and enhance both their physical and mental well-being. Taking part in sports results in the decrease of certain problems such as weak bones, osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease. Furthermore, playing sports also reduces the level of anxiety and stress, leading to a better state of mind in which people work more efficiently. In addition, international sporting events promote the host nations' tourism that is conducive to the growth of the economy. The Olympics games is a prime example as the host countries will attract a flood of visitors and fans bringing them a remarkable amount of profit. In conclusion, albeit the claim that playing sports is just a means of recreational activities, I concur with the more convincing view that sports also have a pivotal role in the development of people's health and the country's economy, with the aforementioned discussion.

Do not include a personal opinion statement at the start of the paraphrase. This opinion should not be included because it is not a part of the original topic presentation. It is not related to the original prompt and therefore, should be skipped in the restatement. The Next 2 sentences were all that were needed to restate the topic from the first version. There is a bit of a confusion with the following writer's statement: Although I interpret this point of view What does this mean in the mind of the writer? What exactly was he trying to say in his native tongue? This is a phrase that does not make any logical sense to the examiner. The last part, the one that clearly states the opinion basis, would have made for a better, clearer, and supported writer's opinion statement. The comparative analysis as required of this writing is lacking. The general statement, without pronoun usage indicates that these are observations made only from the personal opinion of the writer. A POV that is lacking in basis since there should be a discussion regarding: 1. What the public opinion is and why it is supported by the public 2. The writer's view of these reasons and why he opposes or supports these The writer failed to properly represent his own opinion as well. By explaining it in the concluding paragraph, he automatically failed the test since there no closing summary as required by the formatting considerations. If he wanted to use the 3 paragraph response format then the presentation should have been: Par. 1: Prompt restatement + opinion w/ thesis Par. 2: Explanation for public opinion 1 with correct pronoun usage Par. 3: Explanation for public opinion 2 with correct pronoun usage Par. 4: Personal opinion using first person pronouns Par. 5: Concluding summary His reasoning statements are confusing and difficult to follow due to the lack of cohesive discussion. The topics do not interrelate in the paragraphs and the explanations seem to move from one topic to another without any connecting reasons. It is for these reasons that the presentation can be considered weak and short on scoring considerations that would have helped it pass the test.

## charging admission fees when entering museums It is true that entrance fees are applied in a variety of museums nowadays, while there are still others which do not charge any fee for admission. While there are some advantages of charging entrance fees in museums, I believe that it is primarily a disadvantage. Before looking at the negative points, it is useful to understand the positive impact of applying admission fees. In terms of higher quality process, many museums might use charged fee to invest more in improving museums' infrastructure. For example, in Vietnam, people prefer to visit some museums in cool weathers to hot weathers due to the lack of air-conditioners in several places. The better air-conditioning quality ,therefore, encourages people to pay a visit to museums no matter how the weather is. Nonetheless, the disadvantages of this issue should not be understated. Firstly, it should be a nation's traditional value that people feel when they go to museums. Charging admission fees makes visitors misunderstand and have tendency to ignore that unique value, that they only think of visiting museums as anything like other places of entertainment, no more than a commercial trade. Therefore, in the long term, a death of cultural value might be caused by that policy itself. Secondly, students are increasingly encouraged to understand their own country's history as it is now essential for them to learn history as their compulsory subjects in school curriculum, and museums are one of the ideal places to absorb knowledge. However, charging entrance fees would make them hesitate to pay a visit to those places. For those who are living in poverty, there will be less chances for them to regularly visit museums as the finances could not cover the cost. In conclusion, while there are certainly some advantages brought by charging admission fees when entering museums, the disadvantages that it has on cultural value and individuals' financial condition is worrying.

The writer had an almost correct approach to the discussion. The examiner will not be against his providing a positive consideration in the discussion. Not at all. Provided however, that the end result of that positive idea is its negation in support of the writer's thesis opinion. He almost had the perfect response. If only the first reasoning paragraph had followed the previously stated discussion format. As for the second reasoning paragraph, a lot can be said in relation to its presentation. First, there are too many topics present, but not all relate to one another in the paragraph. The use of numerical ordinals does not translate into proper linking and cohesive devices unless the ideas actually intersect or logically connect. Second, the sheer number of topics provided ensured that the paragraph ideas would not be fully supported and explained. Linked discussion ideas of no more than 2 work best in this discussion format.

## Environment protection and fuel price These days, environmental problems are always the hot topic; hence, many ways have been suggested to tackled these issues. One of these is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. In my view, I completely disagree with this suggestion. I will be explaining my view in the forthcoming paragraphs. First of all, increasing cost of fuel won't put no pressure on the rich. Because they have abilities to afford cost, they would prefer to their private cars than public transportations. As a result, the exhaust decreased from the people who use public tranpsportations such as buses, trains, and so on instead of cars to save their money can't make a great impact on the environment problems. Moreover, the public transportations of some countries are not developed well, which causes inconvenience for using. Therefore, many people would rather go by their cars or other vehicles than public transportations, regardless of the high cost of fuel. For instance, in Vietnam, the buses or trains are not highly appreciated for many reasons such as the delays, the poor hygiene. Due to these disadvantages, the large of citizens choose to use their their private cars in daily living. In other words, even if the price were increased, people would still travel on a daily basis and the problems of pollution would stay unsolved. In conclusion, I belive that increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to deal with environmental problems has many obvious drawbacks; and that some other methods should be adopted instead. I would be grateful for any responses

Do not confuse the IELTS writing tasks. The response provided here is incorrect because the format used was for an extent response while the requirement was for a simple response + 2 reasons presentation. The exaggerated response will result in deductions since it does not represent the expected response. The lack of establishing thesis introductions also reduced the paragraph accuracy score. Familiarization with proper and expected response formats are needed by the text taker. Avoid the use of contractions in the presentation. That is a bad writing habit which is frowned upon in formal English writing. Always spell out both words. Proper grammar also avoids the use of conjunctions at the start of sentences. Hanging sentences should not be found in the writing. There errors affect the grammar score since the writer does not know how to use sentence writing rules properly.

## Writing part 1: Waste disposal in one country The two pie charts illustrate how different kinds of waste released in one country between 1960 and 2011. Overall, there was a significant growth in the proportion of garbage coming from food, wood, metal and plastics; meanwhile, opposite trends can be seen in the figures of glass, green waste, paper, textiles and other waste. Moreover, in 1960, paper waste accounted for the majority of waste disposal but this figure then experienced a steep decline and was surpassed by food waste in 2011. The share of food waste started at 12% in 1960, after which it enjoyed a pronounced rise to 21% in 2011. Same patterns can be noticed in the shares of wooden, plastic and metal trash with different extent. The percentage of wooden and plastic trash in 2011 was double those figures in 1960, reaching 8% and 18% respectively; meanwhile, the amount of rubbish made of metal trash slightly increased from 8% to 9% in the period. The rubbish coming from glass and green waste levelled off in the survey period, remaining 5% and 9% in that order. On the other hand, 25% of the total trash was made of paper in 1960, with a sharp decrease to 15% in 2011. In a similar fashion, fabric and other waste went down from 17% and 12% in 1960 to 11% and 4% in 2011. *

The topic restatement based on the existing images is insufficient in terms of reference. Yes, the number of images and types of images were correctly represented. It is the representation that was in error. Using the word "how" leads to a procedural explanation. There is no procedure indicated. So how different kinds of waste released is not the right way to go. Since the list is about waste materials, it should have been, " different kinds of waste material " or something similar instead. This error produced a task inaccuracy. An additional problem is that the years mentioned were not assigned to each image in the mention. The years are clearly assigned per pie chart. Therefore, the summary overview and trending statement is not one that properly and accurately represents the task. Same patterns different extent If a measurement has the same trend the extent / results cannot be different. The writer is showing signs of a confusing English thought process. This will result in GRA reductions.

## number of vehicles and co2 emissions The given bar chart illustrates the amount of co2 emission and the line graph shows the number of vehicles in England and Wales between 2000 and 2020. Overall, the emission in 2020 was the highest, especially for car emissions. The number of transportations had increase significantly during this period of time. The emissions from cars was the highest in every year and it gradual increased from 20 tons in 2000 to over 25 tons in 2020. The truck and van emissions also witnessed a growth. The amount of emission from truck grew from 17 tons in 2000 to 18 tons while the van emissions slightly rose to 15 tons in 2020. In contrast, the emissions from bus remain stable all the time at around 9 tons. The number of vehicles increased from 20 million from 2000 to about 40 million in 2010 and reached a peak of 55 million in 2020. *

The writer has not made an effort to provide a complete summary and analysis of the 2 images. Had he done so, he would have written more than 151 words. The summary overview alone is incomplete in reference and incorrect in sentence structure. Why the writer chose to combine 2 different topics in one sentence is beyond me. Not a single linking device was used to showa relation between the 2 different image subjects. Even the measurement basis for each was overlooked creating a little informative summary. As far as trending statements go, this one does not present a well developed trend either. It is almost like the author has no interest in passing the test. The sentence structures are not well presented either. Problems with simple complex, and compound presentations abound to the point where the GRA score will be limited in consideration. An essay like this is the work of either a first time writer, in which care this review will help with improvements or, the student just does not care if he passes or fails the test. He just completed enough work for scoring consideration and not of the passing kind.

## earnings of pop stars and other musicians Pop stars earn much more than classical music performers. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. With the outbreak of mass media, there has been an increasing in emerging pop stars coupled with their enormous income. Therefore, while some people reckon it is justifiable for these performers, the others find it arbitrary for the classical music ones. This essay will analyze both viewpoints and reasons why I advocate for the latter. On the one hand, that pop stars should earn a fortune may be reasonable. As several contemporary mainstream singers gain their fame through social media, they have to spend a great deal of money in marketing campaign. This, in practice, helps such performers keep their name known by the public during a short-lived career. A case in this point is Son Tung as this singer has channeled a huge budget into acts of building up and retaining his image as being stylish and trendy. Given that, he should deserve such fortune to make up for his investment. As it shows, current pop singers are justified for such income. On the other hand, I believe this practice fails to give the classical music artists an even-handed treatment. Since they underwent years of intensive training to be proficient in using instruments as well as performing skills, the professionals in classical genre should be paid at the very least on equal footing to the pop ones in their wage. This, moreover, could propagate a false notion that such contemporary singers have surpassed those versed in classical music. Beethoven, one of the greatest composers, had to face financial burden due to the low payment. However, it did not mean that he was much less prodigious in art compared to the newcomers. Thus, it is plausible for the those specializing in classical genre have such equal payment. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that the classical musical artists should be deserved an income as equitably as pop ones.

The word usage of the writer tends to be on the side of incorrect usage. Specifically,the use of the words outbreak and arbitrary was misplaced due to meaning of each word which ran counter to what the writer was trying to explain. It is important for the writer to understand that he cannot make unfounded claims in the topic restatement as it affects the interpretation of the original topic. An inaccurate representation either by the addition or removal of a reference creates a task inaccuracy. The " is good.It tells me which side is supported. Opting to use one of the existing public opinions means that the essay will be comparing both sides based on the public and private reasons. That did not happen though. Reading the explanation paragraphs shows that the writer offers a selective discussion format. This means that out off 3 representation requirements, only one, the personal opinion, was properly discussed. Where is the necessary comparative discussion? Why should I believe you when the evidence presented is lacking? There should be a "They" VS. "I" and " They" with the additional support of "I" in each paragraph. These discussions should be based on the provided points of view. It is the lack of correct response format and development that could very well prevent the passing score of this essay. Those, along with LR problems are the points for correction in relation to this type of prompt discussion instruction moving forward.

## ***Today, fashion is becoming more and more important in choosing clothes.*** What are the reasons? Do you think the trend is positive or negative? It is true that in the modern era, fashion plays an important role when people are deciding clothes to wear. In my opinion, this phenomenon can lead people to negative ways. Due to the globalization and the growing technology, clothing styles become a significant part in our daily life. Firstly, the advertisements of chained clothing companies are posted on social medium or broadcasted via video platforms. So no matter which country they are from, people around the world can appreciate their trending skirts or t-shirts when surfing the Internet. Secondly, most organizations hire worldwide celebrities such as film actors, k-pop idols or famous athletes to promote their products. With the concern of these popular people, fans of them will try to imitate their styling and normal customers also will be influenced due to their fame. However, there are some negative impacts behind the global phenomenon. While more and more people's dressing style depends on fashion, the minority who don't chase the trend would be considered weird and are forced to change their wearings. Therefore, individuals in the society all look similar, and clothing loses the ability to demonstrate one's personality. Which may lead to the loss of the character of individuals. Moreover, teenagers refuse to wear the traditional clothes because considering them outdated and turn into the fancy wearing they saw on the TV. The traditional clothing which has been passed down from generation to generation may disappear. In conclusion, fashion is now taking over the customers' dressing preferences. I personally believe that the drawbacks of this trend can cause negative influences.

There are several problems that will prevent the prompt restatement and writeis opencon paragraph from meeting a passing preliminary score. Refer below for the detailed listing: 1. The writer is verifying a truth when it is not a discussion requirement. He should not be adding statements unrequited or that are not in the orginal statement. 2.He does not restate the discussion topic as expected. 3. He responds to only one out of the 2 listed questions. 4. There are no response reasons in summary form provided. These missteps will result in a failing starter score in the actual test. The writer should avoid these incorrect actions going forward. Avoid the use of contractions in these essays. Proper English writing skills can be incorrectly assessed when the writer does not follow formal writing rules. The use of contractions and English slang are frowned upon in this test.

## follow passion, success will follow you It is true that the question of whether to learn favorite majors or focus on useful ones remains a source of controversy among students in universities. While a number of people believe that students ought to study those which lead them to a brighter future, I do believe that it is more essential to purchase individuals' hobbies. On the one hand, it is much of parents' orientation to advise their children to focus on the trendy subjects such as science and technology. It is easy to understand that many students tend to obey adults due to their mature experience and knowledge. As a consequence, a student who follows their parents' orienting major tend to pre-determine their career path after graduating from universities, this might reduce their time and effort to understand career market. On the other hand, I believe that pursuing what we like is much more crucial for our brighter future. Firstly, learning things that are students' favorites enables students to absorb knowledge more quickly. For example, languages has been always a difficult subject for every student. However, those with the talent and interest in learning languages tend to passionate in acquiring the essence of knowledge, this will definitely be useful for their psychological aspect in the long run. Secondly, nowadays, the career path has expanded with every kinds of majors and subjects. For instance, in the past 10 years, arts was considered to be the field with the least career opportunities. Such point of view has changed totally in this developing era, what makes us more surprised is art-related occupation has been one of the trendy fields that creates the highest salary. What we frequently say "follow passion, success will follow you" is absolutely correct. In conclusion, although both 2 views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is vital for students to study what are their favorites.

The essay failed to pass the test the very minute the irrelevant prompt restatement and opinion sentence was presented by the author. It has at this point become very clear to the examiner that the writer did not understand the question and topic basis in relation to the prompt. His lack of basic English vocabulary in relation to sentence idea presentation was also glaring in the opinion statement. The discussion went from science and technology to " purchasing individual's hobbies", a topic most certainly not related to the original presentation. A lack of proper comparative response format between the public and personal perception added to the scoring problems. The overall writing basis does not meet the Task 2 scoring considerations for a passing level.

## the valuable information It is a common belief today that news media plays a vital role in our modern society. The aim of this essay will be to reflect on the reason why they are so paramount and the overview whether their impacts are advantagous or not. In the first place, news media can act as a prosecusor for us to get the triumphant . As we are living in the rat race, broadening our perspectives about the recent issues is essential to avoid being left behind. As a result, keeping up with the pace of life may contribute to the success of our life. According to the recent survey conducted by Melbourne university, 67,6 percent of the world population can access to a large amount of imformation which help them a lot in finding occupations with the handsome salary. Thus,news media are absolutely crucial in this day and age. On the other hand, there are various omnipresent tabloids and newspaper,... which often use the wrong to make the sensational news. They may spice the story up or reveal the untrue false with a view to attracting more customers. As a results, this may act as a catalyst to te readers. They can miscomprehend the issues which triggers the failure in grappling with them. In the covid 19 period, in India, There were many websites illustrates that the residents could avoid and overcome the epidemic by drinking dity water.Many Indian trusted the news and started doing which led to the serious problems with their health. Therefore, news media sometimes takes a toll on people. Despite the detrimental effects which the news media have, I am convinced to assert that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, However, we need to sincerely consider before trust any information appeared on the media.

The writer has misunderstood the discussion question. This lack of proper question perception led to both a wrong opinion response and unrelated answer presentation. The question is "Are their influences generally positive or negative?", which should reflect a single opinion response based on one of the 2 given choices. It was incorrect to respond with a comparative advantage V. disadvantage reference. That was never part of the response choice. Therefore the essay cannot be scored higher than the basis of an unrelated response. This is a task failing essay as it does not answer the provided query. A passing response score can only be provided for answers that do not show a prompt deviation. This response alteration was most likely caused by the writers unfamiliarity with the various task 2 discussion question and response formats.

***Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society*** ## **Discuss both views and give your op** inion. It is argued among people that either the university environment only intend to rise graduates' chances of getting well-paid jobs or it also can help develop a better community with well-trained grown-ups. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives as well as clarify my approval of one of them. As for the idea that universities only connect to the future careers of students, there are many causes for it . One of them is the stereotype in most people's mindsets. Basically, the major part of them thinks that their fee for their own study in university should be worth the outcomes. Meanwhile, with the world being gradually advanced, they desired even more the determination from the educators' side that students can have stable jobs after ending their school years. As a result, everyone, especially the parents, becomes to develop a stereotypical statement that universities only have the duty to make themselves or their children take a right turn in their life with suitable jobs. Simultaneously, there are also many factors leading to the other group's belief of the society changing for the better with well-educated graduates. The most integral influence is the evidence of many succesfull celebrities inspiring their followers to change in some aspects. For example, Mr Dang Tran Tung, who finished his courses in university, and then has been making many English contents from his knowlegde. Consequently, it is making the number of English self-learners in Vietnam higher than the past, especially increasing the communication skills of the whole part of teenagers. Personally, I believe this is the true intention of universities as every individual, after graduation, can help change the society instead of just solely bringing benefits for themself. In conclusion, with the method of training the students, many universities are put faith by people for rising the students chances of jobs as well as making edges for the society and its members. In last few words, I would like to thank everyone who read my essay and help me improve in advance.

The restatement can be considered properly developed to the extent that the writer shows an understanding of the original topic. Although several grammar and punctuation errors exist in the paragraph, causing a lower score. For example, a possessive apostrophe was used when only a plural reference was required. When addressing this type of discussion requirement, the writer must make his opinion clearly seperate from the public perception. The writer did not use the correct pronouns to achieve this goal. The lack of pronouns and general discussion reference makes the essay appear to be one sided. An incorrect discussion perspective. Next time, use more pronouns and offer a personal opinions for both points of view. Use a comparative discussion paragraph format.

Hello guys, this is a toelf writing question and i'd like your opinion about it please :D One more useless thread title = BAN Question: It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer Although quite different, it is undeniable that both books and experience provide us with rich and solid knowledge. Their importance and role have sparked debate among scholars and scientists. Some would agree that books are the primary way to obtain knowledge, while others consider experience as being more efficient and reliable, which makes picking one option above the other tremendously hard. However, the quote in the question perfectly reflects my point of view on the matter, which I'll elaborate on in this essay. First of all, humans have long relied on experience to acquire knowledge. Indeed, we have not always had books to provide us with techniques on how to survive, make food or treat an injury. Therefore, experience was the only solution for us to develop those skills. Cooking, hunting or building houses were always taught through experiences. For instance, it was only by rubbing two pieces of wood against each other did we learn how to make fire. Secondly, experimental knowledge is tangible. Unlike the theoretical knowledge, we obtain through academics, knowledge gained from experience is more practical and beneficial to perform everyday tasks. Personally speaking, I've built my knowledge through books and academic materials I studied in university; therefore, I was totally unfamiliar with the professional life. When I started my first job, I was utterly lost and incapable of coping with the stress that comes with a job. Only then did I realize how useful experience can be. Moreover, experience is a unique way of acquiring knowledge and learning new things. As the quote states, I firmly believe that books can't cover all aspects of life and therefore experience is much needed to develop special skills. Through trial and mistakes, experience teaches us how to be cautious and avoid certain things. For instance, when a child touches boiling water and realize how painful it is, he is most likely not to repeat that action again, to avoid the pain. We need to touch the teapot to know whether the tea inside is hot or not. In conclusion, I believe that both books and experience present their own advantages and give us the necessary knowledge in different ways. I favor experimental knowledge over academics for its efficiency, but I also do believe that a combination of both would be the key to solid knowledge.

A TOEFL test does not require a flowery and empty topic restatement. What sets it apart from the IELTS test is that an imemediate discussion should be found in the first paragraph. No restatement, just the personal opinion basis and starling explanation. There are some rules that apply to both tests though. The writer should avoid the use of contractions in writing as this reflects negatively on his formal wiling skills. While an academic tone and writing style are not formal requirements, keeping in line with those specifications helps the examiner assess how one might perform academically in class. Using group pronouns in a single person reference setting should be avoided. Avoid speaking for others as they cannot be represented within the writing requirements. Focus on personal evidence usage instead. It shows off comprehension skills in relation to discussion relevance. Improvements are needed all around in the writing but the essence of the response is clear. Next time though, be sure to address oneself directly in the essay.