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## proportion of time spent with phones and tablets The graphics compare information about the duration which people use for smartphones and tablets. It can be clearly seen that the proportions of games and social networking account for the largest part on both devices. Whereas, news and utilities take up the least on smartphones and tablets respectively. Playing games makes up over a third of total time spent on smartphones (35%). Besides, the time of spending on the same on smartphones is more than a half (57%). Then, the second largest percentage of time spent on both devices is still similar, that is social networking. But they use it on smartphones almost twice as much time than they use it on tablets. When it comes to news, on average people spend the least time on it, just 3% on smartphones and 4% on tablets. Meanwhile, the proportion of time spent on utilities on smartphones (20%) is nearly sevenfold on tablets (3%). In addition, there is not much difference between 2 devices in time consumed on music, videos and other uses. *

The word "graphics" could indicate numerous image types. It is not specific enough to describe a task 1 image. The type and number of images must always be properly indicated in the summary overview. Otherwise, the summary will only serve to confuse the reader and lower the C+C and GRA preliminary scores for this report. By having a stand alone trending reference, the essay misses out on the proper formatting for this analytical presentation. The trend should be folded into the summary overview and then 3 reporting paragraphs should be presented for the reporting analysis. The 3 paragraph format should be used for the report since this is a 2 image reference study. As far as the grammar of the writer, he must remember that an English sentence should not start with the transition words "because", "but, or "and" because these are conjunctions which are used to connect related ideas within a single sentence. As such, it cannot be used at the start of a sentence since there is no information to connect at that point.

***Some people say that the elderly ought to live at senior homes. Others think that they should live with their family members.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? It is a common belief that nursing homes are the best place for the elderly. However, I firmly believe that they should live with their blood relatives because family members are responsible for taking care of them and they will live happier when living with their relatives for the rest of their life. To begin with, family members must be responsible for caring for their parents and grandparents. In childhood, children were nurtured and educated by their parents, and parents devoted their time, effort, and even youth to bringing kids up. When parents get older, children must have an obligation to look after them back. For example, there are numerous extended families in Vietnam where multi generations live together under the same roof and it is a chance for family members to show love and care for their parents and grandparents. On top of that, the elderly will live happier when living with their family members. When living with their blood relatives, bonds and relationships among members make them feel positive and peaceful. While living at senior homes, the old get lonely and feel abandoned which raises the high rate of experiencing sickness in their old age. According to a recent survey, the elderly tend to have higher life expectancy when they live with their blood relatives and are treated well. This demonstrates how essential relationships with family members are to help the old live happier. To sum up, family members should have responsibility for caring for their parents and grandparents and the old will live happier when living with their relatives. For these reasons, it is clear that the elderly should live with their blood relatives for the rest of their life.

The writer has misrepresented the original discussion topic in the prompt restatement section. Since there are actually 2 points of view being explained in the first version, it is not proper to say that the idea is a "common belief". He cannot interpret only one of the 2 provided ideas. He must restate each idea individually in the restatement. Otherwise, the accuracy of the restatement is faulty and will not meet the maximum positive scoring requirements for that particular section. He also forgot to respond directly to the question before offering his thesis statement. Although his reasoning sentence does indicated which side of the discussion he supports, the examiner still expects to read a direct response to the question as integrated into the thesis statement. The response should have been: I disagree with the idea that the elderly should live in homes because... Always blend the direct response with the reasoning summary to help meet the clear opinion statement requirement. Save for this particular shortcoming, the essay actually carries sound discussion points and properly stays on track with the single opinion defense response in both reasoning paragraphs. Good word on the explanation development. Even with the error at the start, I sense that this essay should receive at least a base passing score.

## Do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits? In these days, with the light of proliferation of technology, many people, and children in particular, are passionate about playing games on digital devices. Even though some people argue that these games can play positive role in daily lives, I firmly convince that it can have potentially negative long-term effects on users. On the one hand, it can be understandable that computer games prompt the players to entertain and study. Initially, there are a wide range of games are equipped with detailed instruction teaching fundamental attributes to players. For instance, Cooking Mama game bring an opportunity for players to know more recipes and gradually sharpen their cooking skills. Therefore, gaming applications are likely to accumulate the user's knowledge as well as skills, which is possibly necessary to become the fully participating members of society in the future. Furthermore, games designed with catchy tune, fascinating plot and beautiful characters also unwind the gaming players after a stressful week of work. Notwithstanding all aforementioned merits, there are several incentives surrounding my outlook. First and foremost, there is a tendency that video games not only affect user's study adversely but also accompany with their health. In this day and age, users are constantly given scores, a new targets and frequent rewards to keep them playing. Nowadays, people may consider amusements as " must-have company" and glue to the smart gadgets whenever and wherever they can. As a results, sooner or later, they would be contracted with various illness and study downfall. To illustrate, in the statistics in my hometown recently, the majority of eye-weaken people, ranging from young to adult, spend at least 3 hours playing amusing app. In conclusion, it may be desirable that although playing computer games broaden the horizon of gamers, in my perspective, potential dangers of these games are more significant than possible upsides.

The writer clearly understands what the discussion topic is about. However, his approach to the discussion does not follow the single opinion format as required. The examiner will fully expect the writer to strongly defend his opinion within the 2 discussion paragraphs. That means, the writer must follow the compare and contrast format for the response presentation. The format is: Why is it a positive? State the reasons that would convince the reader it is truly a positive factor. Be as convincing as possible. Then, think about the same reasons and why it would be a negative. In this essay, the writer indicated that these games would sharpen the skills of the player. Yes, it enhances visual acuity, but it does not sharpen the real time, physical, practical skills of the player in terms of cooking. That is where the actual drawback of the benefit lies. The reason of the writer is then based on a proper explanation of the misunderstanding regarding skills development within a video game. This is only an example of the type of explanation that the examiner would tend to score more highly than the version the writer decided to use. Remember that the clue to the discussion topics are presented in the original prompt. The keywords that represent the correct discussion are: Video games Harmless fun useful educational tools Adverse effect These are the reflection points the writer must use during his outlining and drafting stage to allow for a prompt directed discussion leading to a balanced opinion presentation. By pairing the keywords for use in each discussion paragraph, the writer will reflect a fully developed discussion as expected by the examiner. He should present paragraphs that focus on: Reason 1: Video games are harmful fun - health issues, lack of physical exercise, etc. may be considered for the discussion Reason 2: Has an adverse effect as an educational tool - Lack of proper physical skills development in relation to the game being played. (e.g. Cooking Mama - physical knife skills, ability to properly use kitchen equipment, etc.)

## energy usage in an average Australian household The pie charts compare the proportions of energy use in an average Australian household through six activities, and the percentage of the greenhouse gas emissions from those actions. Overall, it can be seen that heating contains the largest proportion of energy use, while the opposite is true for cooling. Additionally, water heating has the largest percentage of gas emission out of six aspects. Furthermore, cooling has the lowest amount of gas exhaust. Regarding the first chart, the percentage of consumed energy is highest in heating, at 42%, followed by water heating and other appliances, with 30% and 15% respectively. 7% of energy is expensed in refrigeration, whilst powders in lighting account for 4%. Besides, energy consumed in cooling was the least, at only 2%. In terms of the second chart, 32% of gas emission is created by water heating, similar to that of other actions, at 28%. Heating contains 15%, which is 1% higher than the figure for refrigeration. The amount of gas exhaust in lighting is much lower, at 8%, while cooling only almost half of that, at 3%.

When developing the summary overview, separate the image identifiers and the respective image content. That is to clearly indicate how the division of information is set out, even without giving the actual number of images provided. Remove the confusion about which image informs about what. It is always clearer to say : "*Pie Chart A indicates the proportion of energy used... Pie chart B supports this information by indicating information related to..."* The trending paragraph would also benefit from a much clearer reference that clearly relates the image, the information and the trend. Just format the presentation to something similar to the example above. These clarified presentations will allow the exam taker to gain a higher preliminary TA score. Overall, the information sharing is acceptable throughout the presentation. However, the way the images relate to the information remain confusing and unclear to the reader. A major factor for the reduction in the C+C and GRA score of this essay. Learn to create clearer sentences that prioritize clarity for scoring purposes over the quickness by which the information is shared. Every paragraph is allowed up to 5 sentences or 200 words (whichever comes first) anyway.

## English 102 ***Women are more prone to developing the autoimmune disease hypothyroidism than men are.*** Draft, Resources, and Assignments November 1, 2022 Luisa Ryan Jones 22642 11.01.2022 Women are more prone to developing the autoimmune disease hypothyroidism than men are. Research has shown that women are more likely to develop issues with their thyroid than men are. There can be various reason for why women are more susceptible to hypothyroidism however, but the exact reason is still unclear. This issue affects so many women's lives (some cases worse than others) and there should be more research being done to prevent and resolve hypothyroidism. One significant factor why women can be more prone to develop hypothyroidism is because of pregnancy. During pregnancy, the woman's body is put through a significant number of changes, physically and appearance wise but internally as well. According to Narayana Health, one of these changes are that "Women experience a high flux of hormones during pregnancy and again, at menopause." (thyroid.org, p.2) Another reason hypothyroidism is more prevalent in pregnant women is because the immune system is working overtime and can mistakenly start attacking the thyroid. This causes the thyroid gland to not produce the correct number of hormones the body needs. Women are put through so many hormonal changes during pregnancy, adding a disease like hypothyroidism can be dangerous to not only the mother but to the baby as well. (thyoid.org, p2) When it comes to hypothyroidism, there are multiple symptoms to look for that can help with an early diagnosis. Educating yourself of these symptoms can help you bring awareness to others who may be suffering unknowingly from hypothyroidism. Hopkins Medicine states that "symptoms are different for each person. They are usually hard to notice and start slowly. These symptoms can also be mistaken for symptoms of depression." The symptoms can include fatigue, weight gain, dry hair, and skin, irregular menstrual cycle, etc. The good news is that hypothyroidism is treatable and can easily be diagnosed. With a blood test the doctor can tell you if you have hypothyroidism and then go on to treat the autoimmune disease. According to the NHS the blood test will measure the level of the T3 and T4. "Low levels of thyroid-producing hormones, such as triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroxine (T4), can change the way the body processes fat." It is important that this be treated because it can cause more long-term effects such as heart disease. (NHS, p.3) It is important to know that hypothyroidism is when your thyroid gland is underactive. Hypothyroidism is not curable but can be treated with medication. The medication that is usually used to treat hypothyroidism is called levothyroxine and is taken once daily for the rest of your life. This medication will help your thyroid function normally, there for alleviating your symptoms giving you a better quality of life. (Dr.Brighten) Works Cited Health, Narayana. "The Thyroid Gland: Let's Get to Know It." Narayana Health Care "Hypothyroidism in Pregnancy." American Thyroid Association "Hypothyroidism (Underactive Thyroid)." Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research

The magic phrase in this essay title is "than men". The existence of this phrase means that the research should follow a comparison of signs, symptoms, and effects between the two genders. Comparing the similarities and differences that lead to women being more prone to developing hypothyrodism than men. Presented information cannot focus on the effects upon women alone because that creates an imbalanced discussion (owing to the research paper title). A more appropriate format would probably be to open with the effects of the illness among men. Giving a semi indepth discussion of the causes and effects of the illness leading into the consideration of how the women are affected by the same illness. As the focus changes to solely the effects upon women, insertions of further studies regarding men in comparison with the women dealing with the illness can be made. The same can be said for the comparison of available and possibly different treatments available for men and women. Is there a common treatment that is highly effective for both genders? Such a format will create a far more balanced and information considerate discussion for the presentation.

Please give me some feedbacks. Thank a lot! Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some people think that more money should be funded to railways than roads by officials. In my perspective, I agree with this statement because railways are faster at carrying things and they are more environmentally friendly. First of all, we can clearly see that railways can transport a large number of goods at a fast speed. This is due to the fact that railways are designed to carry a huge amount of loads, particularly they can carry some raw materials such as coal. Moreover, the goods and passengers can also be delivered faster because there is no traffic congestion like cars. For example, a train can deliver 300 passengers and tons of goods from north to south Viet Nam in just 4 hours long. This will cost greatly if we use other types of transportation such as cars to deliver the same amount of loads. Another noticeable advantage of railways is that they are environmentally friendly. Compare to cars, the total amount of air pollution released by railways is far less severe. For example, A study by the Hanoi university of technology and economics reported that to transport 1 ton of goods, a train release 30 percent less air pollution compared to a car. Therefore, railways are more eco-friendly and deal less damage to nature than a car because of the amount of carbon dioxide emitted. In conclusion, more money should be spent on railways rather than roads by the governments because railways can transfer larger loads and are more environment oriented.

The essay could have been longer in terms of discussion explanation and better formatted in terms of presentation to allow for a higher scoring consideration. Yes, the writer has writter 2 words more than the minimum, but that does not mean that the essay wil qualify for higher scoring considerations per rubic consideration. Try to lengthen the discussion to at least 275 words. That way the scoring bonuses can be applied. As far as prompt restatements and writer's opinions go, this is one of the better developed presentations. Specifically, the opinion presentation uses the linking words in a manner that offers a clear opinion + thesis statement. What makes this paragraph weak though? Well, the writer actually provided a good opinion, but forgot that this is a measured response statement so the degree of opinion support must be indicated. It is not just a simple yes or no question. It is an emotional response based explanation. Since the degree of response is not present at the start or the end, point deductions will be applied due to a semi non compliant response format. Good work on the reasoning paragraphs as well. The writer properly defended the writer's opinion using well considered supporting statements and examples. The problem actually shows up in the final paragraph. It is a run-on sentence that does not properly represent the needs of the paragraph. For starters, it should be at least 40 words long. That minimum word count for the paragraph should be spread out over 3-4 sentences in this case as it should summarize the topic, opinion, and reasoning paragraphs to complete the reverse paraphrase presentation. The writer shows the potential to score higher than average based on this writing. Making adjustments to the writing style based on the above observations should help better his score in the next practice test.

## writing task 1 - cam 17 test 2 The provided line graph illustrates how many retail stores were opened and shut down annually from 2011 to 2018. Overall, what stands out from the graph is the downward trend in the figures for closed shops and new shops, with the most dramatic decline being seen in the number of openings. The number of openings started at 8,500 in 2011 after which it witnessed a significant decrease to 4,000 in 2012, then rose to more than 6,000 shops in the next year. From 2015 to 2017, the figure remained unchanged, with about 4,000 shops per year. Ending the period, the number of new shops is one in three of those in the first year. Similarly, the figure for closures was at 6,400 shops in 2011, lower than the openings, followed by a slight drop in year 1, then gradually grew from 6,000 in 2012 to more than 7,000 shops in the next year. However, this number then considerably fell and reached the lowest peak of 500 shops in 2015 and then remained stable in the last three years of the peroid.

The summary section is not complete. The summary should be composed of at least 3 sentences. It is never acceptable to present only a single sentence in that section as it represents a run-on sentence and will decrease the GRA scores of the essay. The fact that the paragraphs range from 2-3 sentence per paragraph already indicate a severe sentence structuring problem for the writer. He is severely reliant on commas and run-on sentences for his presentation which will decrease his C+C and result in additional GRA deductions along the way. The main problem with the student is not his understanding of the image. It is the fact that he is incapable of properly writing in simple, complex, and compound sentences. These are the expected sentence mixes in this task and that is what should be reflected in the writing. Without it, the essay may not receive a passing score.

***buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.*** ## Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Daily online purchases for basic necessities have proven its popularity over time, which has both merits and demerits critically analyzed in this essay. On the one hand, shopping on websites is time-efficient. A plethora of applications and media provide customers with a boundless range of choices worldwide at a click of a mouse. In addition, online purchases allow for deliveries at a reasonable cost, so there is no need for users to deal with traffic and traveling expenses. Another captivating bright side of e-commerce stores is that people are able to attain an overall impression on the products that they care about based on former users' feedback and reviews, which assists in navigating the purchase towards the right decision. This indicates that shopping on the Internet also saves a fortune due to lower chances of throwaway. Afterwards, going shopping on websites is advantageous. On the other hand, shopping through e-commerce platforms could exert detrimental impacts on the environment as the demand for shipment would increase followed by packaging. This could result in waste of tonnes of cardboxes, aluminum and, to make it even worse, plastic. Although the process of 3 Rs might be involved to alleviate the amount of the discarded, it still costs more effort and financial loss compared to waste produced by direct purchases. Besides, the convenience of shopping on the Internet comes along with a greater risk of privacy loss. To be more specific, the fact that we could receive instant access to the products that we are interested in on almost any website derives from trading of users' information. Consequently, the thriving e-commerce business brings about considerable drawbacks. To sum up, the phenomenon is a two-bladed sword. If customers are to benefit, they should make the most use of the upsides and support the environmentally-conscious retailers in order to lighten the negative influences.

The writer has not responded properly to the question. There is a single opinion that must be defended in this representation in relation to the direct question provided in the prompt. That qestion is: DO THE ADVANTAGES OF SHOPPING IN THIS WAY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES? Seeing the format of the question, it does not lend itself to a comparison discussion that shows the merits and demerits of both sides. Rather, the writer must indicate a support for one clear opinion. Without that clear opinion in support of one of the two sides, the essay will be scored based on a lack of clear opinion in relation to the given question. There was no "compare both sides" part of the instruction for the discussion to merit even a partial scoring consideration. In terms of task response and relevance, the essay has failed. That lack of proper representation as is relevant to the question means that no matter how well he believes he has discussed the topic, his prompt deviation and lack of relevant response will lead to a final failing score. That is regardless of his performance in the scoring sections. The correct response is: The merits ( or demerit depending on the writer's choice) of this shopping method outweighs the merits/ demerits (writer's choice) based on 2 reasons. First, (Indicate Reason 1). Second, (Indicate reason 2).

Please give me some feedbacks. Thank a lot! ## traditional teaching is stilll important Giving lectures in auditoriums to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion. Some people think that lecturing in a large auditorium to students is an old fashion way of teaching and instead we should replace it with online teaching. This essay disagree with this statement and believes traditional teaching still has its own place. The essay will discuss the advantages of traditional teaching which are helping students get answers directly from teachers and increasing their attention. Unlike online teaching, face-to-face study gives the student a chance to get answers directly from the teachers. Normally in an online class, the teachers can not pay enough attention to every single student as they are in a traditional class. Consequently, students may struggle with knowledge and have many unanswered questions in their heads, causing gaps in their knowledge. For example, VTV, the national broadcast tv of Viet Nam, 83 out of 100 students said they have problems with asking teachers to reply to their questions in the online class and this consequently degrades their marks. Another advantage of face-to-face teaching is the increase in the attention of students. Because they are gathered in a closed room and are regulated and pressured by the teacher, students have to be more concentrated. Furthermore, being focused helps students study more effective and achieve higher educational results. For instance, a recent study by NEU reported that students who study face-to-face focus 30% more than those who study online. In conclusion, traditional teaching still plays an important role. Particularly in the ability of answer face-to-face to the students and increase their attention.

With only 252 words in this essay, it meets the word minimum requirement but not the full scoring considerations for various sections. There needs to be at least 275-300 words put down to achieve that. The only plus point of this word count is that it will not meet deductions for under word writing. Since the writer is being asked to discuss the measure of his personal opinion, the essay should not be devoid of first person pronoun usage. Rather, it should be heavily present. The essay will not write itself so never say The essay will discuss . You are the writer. Own it. Now, for the actual reason this essay will receive a failing mark. The prompt deviation that the writer created. Did he misunderstand the writing instruction To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion. ? Which is why he incorrectly responded with The essay will discuss the advantages of traditional teaching... The incorrect response statement will result in an irrelevant response score (failing). I cannot proceed with reviewing the essay at this point. There is no sense in reviewing a failing essay from the start.

## police budget 2017-2018 The provided pie charts and table show the sources and distribution of money in a particular police department in the U.K in the two years of 2017 and 2018. Overall, an upward trend can be discerned in the budget, and Technology's share of funds increased while that of Salaries dipped. With respect to how the police were funded, a total of 318.6 million pounds was allocated to the department in 2018, up from 304.7 million pounds the year before. In addition, the amount of money funded by National Government and other sources saw sizable increases of 10 and 2.3 million pounds respectively. In contrast, the rise in funding from local taxes was relatively minor, coming at only 0.5 million pounds. With regard to budgetary allocation, while the percentage of money spent on Buildings and Transport remained constant at 17% from 2017 to 2018, the remainder experienced change. First, compared with 2017, spending on Technology accounted for a bigger portion of the budget in 2018 . Funds allotted for Salaries, however, dropped slightly to 69% from 75% in the same time span. 181 words Thank you, in advance, so much for your time and efforts to correct my essay. Have a nice weekend :) *

The current summary overview is confusing in terms of reference. Yes, the images were properly identified. That was good. However, the identity separation for the images, the required image titles /identifiers were missing from the presentation. As such, the summary overview became confusing due to lack of reference clarity. next time, identify which image goes with what data. Sadly, the confusion trickled down to the also confusing trending reference. The reports themselves could use more clarity and properly formatted comparisons. Remember that there are 3 images present. This indicates the need for a 4 paragraph reporting and comparison essay. Preciseness is scored in this essay. By shortening the applicable paragraphs, the essay has less clarity and misses out on additional scoring considerations.

***The life expectancy of the modern people has been expanded, this is the positive of modern medical care*** ## Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? here is my answer: In this day and age, there has been an expansion of lifespan among modern individuals by dint of advancements in medical discipline. In this essay, merits and demerits of this change will be thoroughly delineated before reaching the conclusion. On the one hand, humans possessing a longevity confers manifold profits. First and foremost, it affords elderly more opportunities to get involve in a great variety of hobbies and recreational activities which could not have been done before retirement due to their preoccupation with work. As a result, they can relish a fulfilling old age. Further, the younger generation can accumulate more handy life experience from the old people with seniority. Accordingly, some dreadful vicissitudes in many aspects such as daily life or business can be deterred thanks to that knowledge. On the other hand, life extension, albeit offering particular positives, might entail certain ramifications. Firstly, old individuals run the elevated risk of contracting old age diseases such as diabetes or cardiovascular. As a consequence, there will be an overdue monetary burden on these people and their family. Besides, a long human lifespan obviously results in an overpopulation, which is a contributory factor to the natural resources depletion. Consequently, environmental problems such as pollution or global warming will be exacerbated. Another issue is that retirement age is likely to be increased thereby an increasing number of cut-throat competitions in the labour market especially for the youth. All things considered, the upsides of longevity are eclipsed by its downsides. Nevertheless, efficacious measures can be implemented by policy makers to ameliorate aforementioned matters.

The writer has not taken the correct approach to this discussion. Not only does he fail to provide a thesis based writer's opinion, he also does not provide the correct reasoning format. Let us start with with the writer's opinion. As there is a direct question being asked, a direct response with reasoning basis must be provided. Since the preliminary TA score includes a clear reference to the writer's opinion is necessary. A mere repetition of the writing instruction cannot be scored as it does not relate an opinion to the examiner. He will be forced to apply preliminary TA score deductions because the writer did not provide a clear opinion basis at the very start. Now, getting to the actual discussion format. I say that the discussion is unacceptable because the proper topic comparisons where not accomplished in the paragraphs. For this essay, the writer must provide conflicting reasons for an advantage that is a disadvantage, or vice versa. In truth, a full review of the discussion further proves that the writer does not have a single acceptable opinion of the discussion. The conflicting reason I have mentioned is in reference to the reasons that the writer uses to disprove or prove one opinion over the other. That task was never met in this discussion. By improperly approaching the task requirements, the writer will not meet the passing standards for the task. He will fail in the TA and C + C sections.

## Physical activity in Australia (Writing task 1) The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant. The bar chart gives information about the proportion of men and woman of different age groups in Australia got regularly physical activity in 2010. Overall it is clear that the rates of women who did regular physical activity were higher than man in almost age groups. in the age group of 15 to 24, there was 52.8% male citizens got physical activitay regularly (higher than female 5.1%), follow by 46.7% of 65 and over, 45.1% of 55 to 64, 43.1% of 45 to 54, 42.2% of 25 to 34 and 39.5% of 35 to 44. As can be seen in 2010, young Australian men were more physically active than middle-aged and older men. Regarding the data of women, the percentage of women did exercise from 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 were 52.5 %, 53.3% and 53% respectively, significantly higher than the male's index. But in the age group of 15 to 24, the proportion of male was higher than female, and the proportion of female 65 and over was 47.1%, more than male 0.4% only.

A paragraph is always composed of at least 3 sentences. The summary overview does not meet this minimum requirement. There should be at least one more sentence indicating the age ranges being compared, as well as the measurement representation prior to the trending statement. That said, the trending statement is general enough to not need any actual measurement references. It was developed well enough to deliver the overall comparison of the image presented. The second paragraph tends to confuse the reader as the writer relied heavily on measurement presentations without using clear separators or image references to the percentages presented. These resulted in incoherent paragraphs and a confusing overall paragraph presentations. Expect large C+C and GRA deductions because of these problems. Try to add a little bit more description next time. Simply relaying the information provided is not enough. There needs to be clear reports and comparisons based on proper sentence structures and paragraph format presentations. The third paragraph was a little better developed and presented but could still have been better presented with the proper formatting and creative writing considerations.

## a report for a university lecturer describing the shown information The bar chart shows the percentage of children ranging from 5 to 14 years old in Australia who took part in five different leisure activities, including skateboarding and rollerblading, bike riding, watching TV or videos, electronic and computing games, and art and craft. Overall, boys and girls stay most actively watching TV or videos, which earned a 100 percent participation rate for leisure activities. However, skateboarding and rollerblading have the least engagement for boys and girls. Only 40 percent of 5 to 14 years old boys and 30 percent of girls participate in skateboarding and rollerblading. There are 80 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls select electronic and computer games for their leisure activities, followed by 70 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls taking part in bike riding. While it is interesting that girls are more interested in art and craft than boys, which gets 55 percent of girls and 40 percent of boys participated in leisure activities. * *Bar chart*

The summary overview is going to receive a failing GRA score due to the improper information presentation. Avoid the use of run-on sentences in this section. The summary overview should be comprised of at least 3 but no more than 5 sentences. Each sentence should represent one information set from the graph. In this case, the sentences should have been divided into: Sentence 1: The subject of the image Sentence 2: The age range provided Sentence 3: The activities listed Sentence 4: Measurement criteria used Sentence 5: Trending statement These separations will help clearly define the content of the image and the important, short form of the provided information. This will make the section scannable and well within the scoring considerations for the TA score of a task 1 essay. Additionally, the summary overview is missing a proper trending sentence. While the word "overall" is often used to represent the trending reference, the fact that it was made a part of the reporting section was an incorrect writing format for the essay. The trending statement is always included in the summary overview as this is a shortened form of the overall reporting task.

## commercial honey production The linear small-scale commercial manufacture of honey is illustrated in the given diagram. Overall, the production is comprised of various stages divided into two phases, commencing with bee collecting nectar and ceasing with the despatch of rearmost outcome to consumption areas, which is done by human being. In greater detail, the first stage of the bee phase is that bees collect nectar from found flowers, whereupon it is brought to a beehive where they deposit honey. Over the following step, the honey is desiccated on the surface of every comb. In the final stage of the bee phase, the bees renders the cell clean with the assistance of fan wings prior to sealing them with wax. As far as the remaining steps is concerned, the yield of honey continues with the first step of the human phase when honey combs are thoroughly gathered. The collected combs are thereupon flattened. No sooner is the raw honey efficaciously extracted than it is poured into sump tank in order to make it be heated at the temperature of 45 to 50 degrees Celcius. Subsequently, it is transferred to a sieve tank where the dirt is withdrawn from the honey prior to the conveyance of honey to settling tanks where it is stored for two to four days. Finally, after being packed in discrete jars, the merchandise is transported and ready to be commerced. * *Task 1*

The writer must be conscious of the 20 minute limitation on the completion of this essay. He cannot write more than 200 words for this without cutting into his task 2 writing time, which he really would not want to do. My advice is that he learns to time himself when writing using the proper exam setting. That is: 1. Outline 2. Draft 3. Revise 4. Finalize Only when he writes using the correct process will he learn how many words he can write within 20 minutes. It is important that the quality of the paper be better and more focused on his part rather than the word count. A long essay just opens the writer up to more errors and score deductions. I will be the first to admit that the essay is well written and properly developed. The problem is that it contains too many words for this task. Therefore, writing quality will be an issue for him once the timed test takes place. Only by learning to write quickly and concisely can he achieve a good passing score for this test.

## the significance of intelligence in leadership The leader is the most important position in every organization. Some people think that intelligence is the most crucial factor of leadership. From a personal perspective, I partly agree with this statement because a good leader has talent and many soft skills. On the one hand, intelligence is essential for a headman. People are fluent in their job at the company which leads to them easily getting management positions in the department because they fully understand every task of their team. Moreover, the staff perform their work better than others, that helps them get their's boss attention. It also contributes to making them notable when the company considers a new manager. To elucidate, research performed by California University in 2020 demonstrated that talented people effortlessly get higher positions in every organisation. On the other hand, soft skills are also crucial for leadership positions. Besides managers are good at their field, but they still need communication and motivation skills that help them direct their employees more effectively. The workers are able to complete their tasks in a good way with the boss's enthusiastic instructions. In addition, when the staff have difficult circumstances, they can easily overcome them thanks to their boss's motivation ability. To demonstrate, Steve Jobs is a former chief executive officer of Apple who always inspired his employees to think in a creative way to create the best technological devices for the world. To sum it up, talent is essential for leaders, but soft skills make them successful. In my opinion, the school not only teaches their students to be good at their major but should train many interpersonal skills to the learners.

There are 2 immediate problems with the restatement and opinion paragraph. The first is the irrelevant first sentence that does not connect with the original topic in any way. This is only a 2 sentence paragraph. One topic restatement then the writer's opinion. The second problem is the measured response format to the question when a direct and unmeasured response is required. Both errors will result in early deductions for the exam taker. These early errors led to the incorrect discussion paragraphs. Rather than the expected single openion reasoning paragraphs, a comparative discussion was used. There is a high possibility that the essay will fail as it did not provide the correct opinion and discussion response throughout the essay.

## learning everything from the internet Nowadays a range of things can be done in the internet, which is an integral part of everyone's life. And I completely agree this is the best way of learning everything that person are interested in. Firstly, internet gives the opportunity to learn a new language or even several ones at the same time. There is a huge number of different apps and websites, where we are able to watch educational videos and then do some exercises to keep all information in mind. In addition, due to the internet people can find a tutor, with whom they will learn the language faster and this way is more efficient since they will have conversations with a person, who has already known it. Secondly, internet is a great place to receive knowledge about playing a musical instrument. It can be done via electronic books which include everything connected with music. Moreover, it is possible to have online lessons that give the opportunity to learn how to play a particular musical instrument in every corner of the world. Thirdly, information about cooking can be find in the internet. It has various forums, where people tell others their stories of becoming cookers. Besides, there are a lot of recipes of mouth-watering dishes and tips how to cook properly. To sum up, living in the twenty first century people are able to learn things from the internet, instead of going somewhere, which will exactly save their time.

There is a specific way of discussing an FCE essay. It has to do with specific topic considerations provided as a part of the discussion instructions. I do not believe that I can properly assess this essay based on the scoring considerations without it. That said, I can offer a general review for this essay. The essay does not really separate itself in terms of the general and personal discussion points. The fourth paragraph should lend itself to a personal discussion but I do not see that happening here. It is mostly geared towards the generalized discussion alone. Opinion clarity may be a problem. Grammar issues in relation to sentence presentations are also very noticeable. Anchor sentences are not effectively used either but transition words are well used. Next time try to use more transition phrases.

## Sports Betting The legalization of sports betting has created a buzz in the sports world, and many people have been buying into the prospect of 'winning big'. With more and more states deciding to legalize sports betting, it goes to question if this growth within the sports betting world is truly beneficial to society. The biggest draw to sports betting, and any betting for that matter, is that desire to hopefully benefit financially, however many fail to realize the future implications that it can have on an individual's life if not done safely. The sports leagues and other businesses will side with legalization, since at its root it will benefit them greatly, increasing their revenues and overall popularity. As a society, especially for younger individuals, having an understanding and being aware of the risks and potential implications are key in helping future generations not to fall into the addictive desire that comes with sports betting. Overall, this will continue to help raise revenue of businesses and sports leagues, but it will also hurt society if we don't take necessary steps to combat addiction and improper betting habits. The sports betting industry took a major milestone in 2018, when the Supreme Court decided to legalize betting in states beyond Nevada. A total of 33 states are legal betting states, a number that is expected to increase within the next 5 years. According to a research study done by the American Gaming Association, during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic an estimated $1.5 billion was generated in sports betting revenue in the U.S, a number that was up 69% compared to 2019 (Schapiro). The increased legalization around the country has seen sports betting apps like FanDuel and DraftKings making an increased effort to get consumers logging into and using their apps. Major sporting events like the Super Bowl are able to create interest, through the use of marketing and advertisements. During the 2021 Super Bowl, it was reported that the betting app DraftKings spent a total of $7 million dollars to air two 15 second ads during the live broadcast (Fischer). The first ad showcased a leather-clad spokescharacter called the "Goddess of Corpus 2 Fortune'', promoting a free $1 million bet. The second showed spokeswoman Jessie Coffield speaking about a free fourth quarter prediction challenge, where viewers were able to guess a certain outcome during the game. In all of 2021, DraftKings spent a total of $981 million in sales and marketing costs. This increased effort has seen revenue skyrocket for these apps. DraftKings made a total of $1.30 billion, more than 100% increase from the year prior. A quote by Dustin Gouker of the Legal Sports Report, a publication that regularly covers sports betting, stated, "It feels like there's been a tipping point in the last year where sports betting feels a part of the sports consciousness" (Fischer). The major sports leagues like the NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL, have all greatly seen the benefits that sports betting has had on business and growth. With betting, increased fan engagement and viewership are two factors that have greatly increased. According to the PwC report, "more than $4 billion in additional annual revenue will be generated for the four major sports leagues in the U.S due to increased fan engagement and viewership as a direct result of the court ruling (legalization of sports betting). Sponsorship, ticket sales, merchandising and media rights will be impacted by the appetite of sports gamblers in the United States, projecting growth at a 3 percent compound annual rate until 2022" (Andrews). This article was written in 2018, and the expected outcomes were accurate. In 2021, the NFL generated a total of $17.2 billion compared to $13.68 billion in 2017, before the legalization of sports betting. This continued rise in revenue will allow sports leagues to continue to grow and boost popularity. As mentioned previously, accessibility is one of the many reasons why sports betting has seen an increase in popularity. With the age of social media, information is easily passed in a matter of seconds. Sports betting apps have been able to use the technologies today to increase popularity and growth. A research study conducted by Emily Deans, a research strategy and Corpus 3 design coordinator at Youth Solutions, sought to observe the influence marketing and social media has on encouraging young individuals to partake in online sports betting. Deans interviewed individuals aged between 20 and 30, asking them four questions: How do marketing mechanisms seek to create a cultural alignment between betting and sports? Is there evidence that marketing strategies may be influencing new betting "identities" associated with sports? Do specific forms of promotions encourage young men to gamble more frequently and on events that they would not otherwise bet on? Are there specific strategies that may have the potential to reduce or prevent the risks or harms posed by the marketing for these products? What was found was that the most common medium that drew the most influence was television ads during regular scheduled programming and sports programming. An interesting find within this study was that individuals also viewed sports betting as "accepted" or "normal", that many people at that age were doing it and that exposure to marketing ads "desensitized" their viewpoint on betting (Deans). Another interesting finding within the study stated that, "some young men felt trapped by the amount of marketing for sports betting products" (Deans). Another study similar to Deans conducted by Darragh McGee, a lecturer at the University of Bath in the UK, sought to also observe how sports betting has become part of culture for young adult men aged 20 to 30. The findings were similar to Deans, there were common themes that were presented based on the data: betting was seen as a normalized aspect of sport fandom, the role of mobile app technologies in the proliferation of sports gambling, the impact of incentivisation strategies and in-play promotional offers on gambling behaviors, and one point that I found interesting, sports gambling could potentially be considered a 'gateway' to other problems (McGee). Betting in general is all about risk, and what you are willing to risk. Many people, specifically younger people, will be drawn to the desire to win big. However, in order to Corpus 4 win big, risking big is usually what is required. The common theme for many who struggle with this is that they are all trying to gain back what they lost. An individual who was a part of the study stated that, "I checked the tool that tells you how much you've bet over a six month period. I'd staked £41,000. I was working a minimum wage job not even clearing £15,000, and I was able to do that online in just six months. After that, you think maybe I can become a master gambler so I could sack in work at the call center" (McGee). Essentially, sports betting and the stigma of it have become very commonplace in today's age, more and more people are becoming exposed to it because of the legalization and growth it has seen over the past few years. Addiction and other unhealthy tendencies unfortunately stem from individuals who don't practice proper sports betting habits. In Rich Schapiro's article, "Sports betting skyrocketed in pandemic. Experts warn of a 'ticking time bomb", he interviews a few indivduals who went over board and experienced great loss and various other problems when it came to over betting. In an interview with an individual, who requested anonymity out of fear his identity could wind up costing his job, who struggled with betting spoke on his struggle with the addictive nature that came with betting. This individual lived a good life: wife, kids, Fortune 500 job. However during the COVID-19 pandemic, since he was stuck at home like many others, sports betting became his vice. Throwing away money became common, to a point where this individual had to take out four high interest loans and clean out his retirement plan in order just to break back to even. The interviewee stated, "I'm so ashamed of myself, I cry at night. I can barely look at my daughter. I can barely look at my wife" (Schapiro). Another article written by Marie Fazio in the New York Times spoke on how easy it is for individuals to be sucked in and trapped into the world of sports betting. She interviewed Saul Malek, an individual who struggled with a sports betting addiction. Malek, a big sports fan, Corpus 5 started betting in college and recounted that his first win made him feel like a "big shot". This excitement unfortunately caused him to "chase that feeling again". The article stated that, "he never considered that sports betting could escalate to an addiction that would lead him to lie, cheat, and manipulate people for money" (Fazio). And unfortunately for Malek, he had to learn the hard way. Although there are efforts to increase awareness of the dangers of betting, it seems that it is failing to reach individuals, specifically the younger generation. The most common demographic for sports bettors are individuals under the age of 35, single, educated and employed or just beginning their careers. And in terms of different individuals who bet, a study done by the National Council on Problem Gambling found that the most problematic gamblers are sports bettors (Fazio). For those who bet in college, about 6 percent of students have a gambling problem, which unfortunately also causes other problems like psychological difficulties, debt, and poor performance in school (Fazio). Dr. Fong, a director of the Gambling Studies Program at UCLA states that young adults are at risk of developing a gambling problem if there is a family history of gambling. The need for programs and outlets in order to treat individuals with gambling problems has unfortunately been outpaced, causing a lack of these resources to be offered. Within the last two years, the need for treatment for gambling problems has more than doubled according to Rick Benson, the founder of the Algamus Gambling Recovery Center in Arizona (Fazio). Unfortunately, topics like addiction to drugs, alchohol, and sex are common in schools and concersations wthin households. However, betting addiction is something that is rarely discussed. This can lead to the underestimation of the addictive nature that comes with sports betting and other forms of it. Although individuals will greatly benefit from programs and services that combat betting addiction, more resources need to be offered in a way that not only appeals to individuals, but Corpus 6 also can convince the public that it is okay to seek help. Because of the cultural aspect, many will believe that there is no problem with the addictive habits that are attached to betting, because if everyone is doing something then there is no problem or reason as to seek help. In a study done by Robey Champine, an assistant professor in the Department of Family Medicine and Division of Public Health at Michigan State University, he found that individuals who sought treatment from psychologists were 60% more likely to recover and eventually rid themselves of addictive habits that came with betting. It is important for individuals to also realize that sports betting is not a free of risk thing that anyone can do, it should be taken with some seriousness, especially if an individual is one to be easily hooked onto something. The way sports betting is marketed is like a game without risk, however it is just the opposite. In order to fight the addictive tendencies that are attached to sports betting, it is important to first admit that there is in fact a problem. Many people will deny they have a problem, or worse don't even realize what they are doing is a problem. If someone relies on sports betting in order to feel some type of happiness, or depends on it to make financial gains, then seeking help for these issues would be beneficial. Many people who do sports bet are constantly wired in, surrounding most of their days constantly checking odd changes and different bets they can make in order to gain the most money. Avoiding this temptation and trying to limit the use of gambling apps or the desire to tune into sports broadcasts can also help. Joining a support group or seeking help and speaking to someone trustworthy is another way to talk about your problem in a healthy way. Speaking with people who also share the same problems, and who share the same story can also help in creating a positive mind and hopefully can lead to closure if dealing with guilt. Finding alternative activities that an individual can replace with sports betting is one way to shift focus and gravitate to other things that are worth your time. Corpus 7 The sports betting industry is on the rise, and will continue to grow over the next few years. The revenue will continue to grow, and the popularity of sport will continue to drive individuals to tune in and eventually start betting. Financially, the sports leagues will benefit the most, increasing revenue year after year with the increased popularity. The sports betting apps will also benefit financially, with more and more people using the apps in hopes to win. Unfortunately, the main culprit will always be the consumer, in that there is more risk for them to lose than to win. That is why implementing proper programs and resources to combat this are important. The most important thing is trying to create a culture that sees sports betting addiction on the same level as drug or substance addiction. It is a real problem that needs to be addressed so that it doesn't further harm society. The implications of sports betting outweigh whatever pros that have been addressed. An individual's life is more important than that of any satisfaction there is in winning a bet on a NBA or NFL game.

When referring to the Supreme Court decision in 2018, do not forget to die the case record including the plaintiff and defendant. A more extensive discussion of the basis of the lawsuit and factors affecting the final decision should be a part of the discussion presentation. Who sued who and why. It will also be wise to mention a few of the states that already have legalized sports betting and some of the new players. Just to complete the discussion premise at the start. The full paper sounds too much like the presentation is just a cut and paste of various related information. The paper relies too heavily on research from others. For a more effective argumentative essay, the writer must consider doing his own surveys using an anonymous pool, identified by certain considerations within the paper. That would remove the heavy direct quotes from the paper that make the paper seem less original to the reader. \*Limited review provided due to paper length. Contact us perinatal for comprehensive review services. Thank you.

## the problem of obesity In today's world, it is undeniable that obese disease becomes more and more popular with many people globally. This essay will explore the sources of this issue along with some possible solutions to it. Chief among the causes of this problem is the lack of exercise. Today's young people are more prone to glue eyes to social media, games and types of movies in leisure time instead of joining sport activities. This can be a contribution to having a sedentary life and the redundant fat or calories which can not be burned in the body. Perhaps the most effective method would be for each individual to establish a timeline for playing sports, which would assist people maintain a healthy lifestyle and have a beautiful figure. Another contributing factor is the unbalanced diet of the majority of young people these days. That is to say, most of them ordinarily have an excess of fat and sugary food, which can be a precursor for superfluous calories in the body and gaining weight. One possible approach would be for the government to restrict the production of fast food and encourage people supplementing more fiber-rich things in daily meals. In conclusion, obesity has become a prevalent disease in many countries due to evident reasons such as the lack of exercise and the inconsequential diet. This problem is potentially more serious if people can put the effective methods into practice. I believe that significant efforts from each person and the government are necessary to reverse the trend.

When reading the restatement and writer's opinion, the examiner will see that the writer does not fully grasp the word meaning being used in the original. He will lower the LR score for the paragraph because the disease is obesity while the person suffering from the illness is known as obese. There is clear incorrect word usage in the presentation that affected the effectivity of the restatement. As for the writer's opinion, which is part of the base scoring, there is none presented so the writer will receive a failing score for that consideration. The examiner does not need to know what the discussion instructions are. He already knows those. What he needs to know, is the opinion of the writer in relation to the questions being asked. If this were an academic paper, it would fail for not clearly stating the thesis or basis of the discussion. Where are the reasons? The questions have already been asked. Respond in 2 sentences. One for every question as a part of the prompt restatement. Create the discussion points based on the questions provided by giving answers, rather than just repeating the questions. Do not say something is "undeniable" when it is not part of the original discussion topic nor when it is not asked in the prompt. That is a change in the slant of the discussion that resulted in a topic deviant restatement. It will result in additional point deductions in the TA score since the writer is not correctly restating the given topic. The opening paragraph alone already assures this essay of starting with a preliminary failing score. That is a problem when the essay is very short and limited in writing skills presentation. This essay should be at least 275 words so that the examiner can have more room to judge the rest of the scoring rubic for application. Good work on the discussion paragraphs. The blended cause and solution presentation is exactly what the discussion format requires. However, the same cannot be said for the concluding summary as it mistakenly indicates a confusing sentence: This problem is potentially more serious if people can put the effective methods into practice. The correct term is "cannot" instead of "can". The reference should be that of an inability to successfully implement a solution.

## **Ielts Writing Task 2 Question:** *Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives.* *So then it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?* Some people believe that newspapers and TV programs are pointless because news is irrelevant to people's lives. I could contend that the broadcasts today are developed their content that attracts and responds to acquisitions and demands of the audiences in all aspects, delivering news reports to the public transiently. From my perspective, it would be wrong to refuse the integral role of broadcasts in connecting audiences with news and facts. Radio and TV programs provide information about everyday occurrences globally through diverse communicative transports. Take the COVID-19 pandemic as an example, during the period of social isolation, people who continuously pay attention to this dangerous disease by following and updating day-by-day information about the fatality, the positive cases, and new exposure-related zones can protect themselves from its contagion. In contrast, residents who outlook this news were vulnerable to this infectious disease. In my opinion, news and TV programs are not only means of updating happenings, but also the governments can utilize this kind of social transmission to inform and spread laws, and national policies throughout their countries. Therefore, viewers can access these principles and obligations, enhancing their awareness and knowledge of this elusive information easier. For example, medical warnings, state settlements, and grant support are deployed and negotiated to citizens during the COVID-19 pandemic, so they can expand their understanding and obey the treatment and isolated rules. In conclusion, I believe that spending time and money on all kinds of news and TV programs is worthwhile and necessary to contribute to promoting quality of life.

The main score reduction will occur in this essay not due to the irrelevancy of the discussion because the reasoning paragraphs are on track, but from the way that the response format does not deliver the expected answer foundation. In this case, the foundation of the response should be based on the measured response of the writer. Please note the specific writing response instruction: *To what extent do you agree or disagree?* The writer never responded in a manner that would indicate a proper and clear response to this question. He implies that he agrees with the given opinion, but does not clearly state it as required. Thus the response is incomplete and, in this case, inaccurate. Reasoning is acceptable in both paragraph however, just like the first paragraph, the way that the writer indicates his explanations are difficult and confusing the understand. The sentences often lack subject clarity within the presentation. He often uses fragmented sentences and run on presentations that will surely reduce his GRA score to a great extent. Leaving this essay in danger of receiving a failing score based on 2 problem points.

## the popular use of informal written language Nowadays, it is common to see that written language is used in a more informal and relaxed way. This phenomenon happens due to some certain reasons, and it may lead to more drawbacks than benefits. On the one hand, people choose to use informal written language because of two main factors. Firstly, it is time-saving. The traditional and formal language in writing requires the appropriate vocabularies and standard structures which are grammatically correct like spelling, form, etc.This process takes a large amount of time. However, less formal written language can help to save time with the use of abbreviations or symbols. Secondly, informal written language is preferably used to lessen the formality in some contexts like friends and relatives' communication. The way people use the writing style also expresses their intimacy to others, so with close relationships, people often want to be comfortable and relaxing when communicating. On the other hand, the less formal style in writing seems to have more disadvantages. The first one is that it is not suitable to apply in business contexts. Business is a field requiring a polite and formal style in written papers, especially in contracts or reports. Using informal language can show your unprofessional skills, which can affect your job or further promotion. Furthermore, for students, the use of less formal style in academic writing tests can affect their performance or results. It is clear that in academic writing, informal language is unacceptable, so students will be marked down for using abbreviations, slangs or jarks as informal language. In conclusion, time-saving and formality reduction are main reasons for the popular use of informal written language. However, people should consider carefully to avoid unfortunate drawbacks.

There are 3 responses that need to be addressed by the first paragraph. As listed, these scoring requirements are: Sentence 1: Restatement of the topic Sentence 2: A listing of the reasons (at least 2) Sentence 3: A listing of the disadvantages All 3 sentences must be presented to meet the full scoring requirements of the accuracy score. This score is based on the ability of the student to clearly establish a version of the discussion topic based upon the original presentation and questions provided. The current version does not establish the required clarity of the paragraph. Since the questions direct to different topic questions, there cannot be a comparison reference provided. It is not proper to use "On the one hand" and "on the other hand" since there are 2 different query topics being discussed. There are times when connecting phrases are required for discussion paragraphs and, there are times when topic sentences are needed to start each paragraph. In such instances, transition sentences at the end of the first reasoning paragraph will be more useful as a transition point. An example of this would be: "While informal language can be used within familiar settings, these cannot be used in a business setting and therefore, proves to be a disadvantage in such a scenario." Then the second reasoning paragraph can proceed using the anchor topic for the disadvantage discussion since was already established in the transition sentence.

## tourists in scotland who visited four different attractions *The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.* The line graph indicates the proportion of tourists who visited 4 different destinations in Edinburgh over the period of 30 years from 1980 to 2010. Overall, the number of travelers enjoying Castle made up for nearly a half of the total during the survey's years. While the figure of Aquarium was relatively modest. In 1980, the percentage of tourists going to the zoo was only 10%. After that, undergoing a few minor fluctuations, it increased significantly to 20% at the end of the period. By comparison, the Aquarium's tourist rate was higher 10% than that of the zoo in 1980 and reached its peak quickly only after 5 years before dropping dramatically and became the least popular attraction in 2010. The change in Castle's tourists percentage was similar to Aquarium's one. Reaching the highest point of the chart in 1995 with 45% and then it decreased gradually to more than 15% in the last year of the survey. Finally, the trend of visitors coming to the Festival dropped steadily through 30 years. It showed the commonness of Edinburgh's festival reduced more and more. *

The formatting for this essay should follow the 3 paragraph format covering: Par. 1: Summary overview + Trending statement Par. 2: Comparison for Aquarium and Castle Par. 3: Comparison for Zoo and Festival It should not be presented in such a compressed paragraphical form. There are only 2 full formats to be used in the task 1 essay. The 4 paragraph format for the 2 image comparisons and the 3 paragraph format for the single image presentation. The exam taker should properly identify which format to use for the particular image presentations. Complete the summary overview by always including the enumeration of comparison points and measurement indicators. These are necessary for the trending presentation which requires these notes for clear comparison presentations with regards to the highs and lows of the information content. Based on the content, the writer knew how to properly compare data presentations. He just needs to be more conscious of how he presents the information to the reader / examiner, who will look for clarity and cohesiveness through paragraph separations. All things considered though, the comparison presentation has good content and presentation considerations. It is the formatting requirement and incomplete summary overview that will limit the scoring consideration for the essay.

## internet users as percentage of population The line graph compares the use of the internet of residents in three separate countries over a period of 10 years starting from 1999. It is obvious that internet access of residents went through a growth in all three countries from 1999 to 2009 with a dramatic rise was seen in Canada. Another remarkable is that the percentage of people having access to the internet in Mexico was consistently lowest over the period surveyed. In 1999, 20% Americans connected the internet, twice as high as the figure for Canadians, while Mexico witnessed only 5% people accessing to the internet. From that time onwards, there was a considerable increase in the use of the internet in Canada and this figure exceeded that of America at about 45% in 2002, after which the former kept going up to the highest point of 100% at the end of period. A similar upward trend was seen in the USA with a fourfold rise to 80% in 2009, while Mexico seen a gradual upward trend in the proportion of residents surfing the internet and this figure peaked at 40% in 2009. *

The discussion development overall is choppy and incomplete. Reading the summary paragraph did not inform the examiner of all the necessary highlights. As for the summary overview, the lack of proper country listing in the summary has left the examiner wondering about how the trend affected all 3 countries. The work in this paragraph was careless overall. Failure to write a proper comparison paragraph occurs when only a single descriptive sentence exists in a presentation. A proper task paragraph is required to reflect a 3 -5 sentence analysis at all times. Single image reports need only 3 paragraphs instead of 4 paragraphs (used for 2 or more image comparisons). Writing in multiple topic sentence combinations shows that the exam taker is not familiar with proper English sentence structuring. The lack of proper simple, complex, and compound sentence presentations and the existence of only run-on sentences will further add to the failing score considerations of this essay.

***The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Many traditional moral codes have been passed on for generations. However, much controversy still surrounds the helpfulness of these ideas in facilitating younger generations' future in modern society. From my perspective, except for some obsolete notions, most of the traditional ideas are valuable to younger offspring. Obviously, older generations maintain a number of inappropriate stereotypes. According to those, homosexuality and feminism are deemed to deviate, or even violate the common norms. Such kinds of discrimination have put women and minor groups of the society at a disadvantage and thus hindered them from seizing many opportunities in life and profession. This situation is inevitably against modern society's targets to promote equality and human rights. Additionally, conventional perceptions advise people, especially low-class and working-class ones, to stay restrained and suffer in any cases of discontent in order to maintain a so-called peaceful life. However, this idea may adversely affect the principles of democracy and civilization of humankind. Only by freedom of speech can burning issues be brought up and tackled. Despite aforementioned limitations, traditional teachings still sustain lasting values to young generations. This is because those lessons which have been acquired and revised throughout history assemble older generations' knowledge and experience. In order to thrive in modern age, young people should preserve and promote those notions in accordance with contemporary situation. Take, for example, Vietnam where the forefathers always teach their offspring about the tradition of patriotism. That trait was the core factor which helped them overcome a millennium of Northern domination and win two resistance wars against the mightiest empires then. That heritage presents its unchanged value as young patriots are crucial for maintaining cultural character and national independence in the era of profound globalization. In conclusion, much as some conventional ideas are somewhat invalid in modern days, the core notions remain precious to young generations as those values are obligatory conditions for the sustainable prosperity of modern society. (318 words)

In the writer's opinion presentation, an invalid response format was used since it did not use the key phrase response expectation. Rather than saying From my perspective the opening phrase should have been,*"I partially disagree with this statement because some obsolete... "* in order to meet the extent response requirement. Note that the opinion included the required thesis statement to complete the reasoning process. The second reasoning paragraph should have been the first reasoning statement since it directly relates to the writer's opinion and discussion basis. It is strong and perfect in explanation. A similar 2nd reasoning paragraph along the same lines would have been even better. Therefore, the essay will be scored based on an incomplete reasoning development since the other paragraph is not aligned with the given thesis statement. It will lower the final score to a great extent.

## pros and cons of online education In recent years, online education is becoming a new phenomenon with increasing participation rate. It cannot be denied that this trend brings lots of specific benefits for both students and schools but also has negative influences on them. There are several reasons to say that distance learning is a trend worth becoming popular. Firstly, applying an online course helps students to minimize time and space spent for learning when compared to traditional education. For example, students can save time commuting from home to school and vice versa, to learn more courses and study anywhere with just an internet connection and a seat. Secondly, the cost of online education is always cheaper as the result of cutting infrastructure investment costs, leading to attracting more students to participate and increasing sales for schools. In contrast, there are some problems that online learning is not effective enough than traditional learning. First, it reduces the focus on the lesson, which makes the learning results not as expected. In fact, we can even surf Facebook or play chess while taking an online lesson because the teachers only controls through the computer screen without knowing if their students are really absorbing knowledge or not; which reduces the effectiveness of studying and directly affecting student's score. Second, distance learning has a serious impact on communication and social relationships of both students and teachers. People need to socialize by meeting face-to-face while online learning only allows teachers and students to meet each other indirectly through the internet, it will gradually lead to social anxiety disorder and inhibit personal development. In conclusion, it is hard to compare whether online education brings more advantages or more disadvantages because they always have its two sides. A balance between online education and traditional is necessary because students need to be fully developed instead of focusing on just one aspect.

Since online education is already an existing phenomenon, it is incorrect for the student to structure the introductory sentence as is becoming a new phenomenon . As it is currently occurring, The phrase should have been presented in current form: *... has become a new phenomenon.* That said, the restatement is still acceptable enough as it kept the original reference to the topic. The restatement of the writing slant is also very much acceptable for this presentation as it presents a writer's opinion, without being a direct writer's opinion, which is a unique way of indicating the thoughts of the writer. It will definitely be considered during the overall paragraph scoring. Now, both advantage and disadvantage paragraphs are well presented and discussed. However, proper example presentations would have added to the scoring considerations. Both would have done well to present an example based on the writer's personal experience and the use of first person singular pronouns. The discussion does ask for examples based on the writer's personal experience and knowledge, so group pronouns should be limited or avoided in this presentation. For additional improvement, the writer should also consider better connecting sentences for the presentations. Transition using subject focus rather than simple transition words or phrases for an increased C+C score. Without it, the paragraphs lack cohesiveness. How the 2 topics connect with a commonality in the presentation is lacking and will be looked for by the examiner. As far as the conclusion is concerned, it was okay up until the part where the writer indicated a "balanced solution" since the original prompt did not ask him to present a solution or suggest / recommend an action. That will score down the conclusion as it prevented a proper 2 sentence reverse paraphrase presentation from being achieved.

***Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? A host of humans believed that parents who have children admitted to private schools should be taxes exoneration which is used for the improvement of the state academic system. Personally, I absolutely disagree with this thought. There is a plethora of compelling reasons why I still believe the existence of paying taxes, in fact, can play an integral role in the development of educational outsourcing. First, the contribution is not only used for the stated education system supportive on the contrary also for the preparatory school. The fact that with the duty of families who send their minors to independent or state centers of learning, the government can introduce free-of-charge education to increase the gross enrollment rate of the country or provision more extracurricular activities for learning a wide range of transferable skills. Other than that, the higher academic systems are applied, the better qualifications for the students to gain the opportunity to be entitled to top-tier universities. As a result, an educated workforce with diverse socioeconomic backgrounds will be generated, and in turn a thriving economy and civilized society. One more aforementioned advantage of this law is to create fairness in welfare between wealthy families and underprivileged ones. If the affluent are given the levy discount because of their children's education, we might have a situation where the poorer public pays higher tariffs to balance the nation's stock. Additionally, these kinds of families will not have an abundance of money to pay for student tuition, their juveniles are forced to be dropped out of the academy. This can be led to the rise of the unemployment rate which will put a strain on the sustainable development policy of the politicians. In conclusion, I firmly dissent against the view about the financial concession for the parents of private children schools should be abolished.

I have to wonder if the person who wrote this essay is a lawyer in real life. The way the writing was developed leans towards the use of legal terms, which are advanced English words, but not necessarily applicable in the development of this discussion. When considering everyday words used in this essay to help explain an idea, the does not do a good job of it. He used the advanced English words in the wrong context in this case, which would lead the advanced words leading to a failing LR score rather than boosting the score for that section. Remember that the word meaning needs to apply to the discussion. The idea presented in this essay is not a crime, yet the references used mostly relate to the belief as being some sort of criminal activity or criminal thought. That incorrect representation alone would be enough to fail the test overall. The writer also fails to attach the thesis statement to the correct paragraph. It should have been attached to the first paragraph as a blended thought in the writer's opinion. It should not be used as a paragraph anchor topic sentence since it does not begin an actual paragraph discussion with a subject. If I were to dissect this essay with a fine tooth comb, the essay presentation could be summed up in 2 ways. An ESL reader will read the advanced English words and say "Wow! Fantastic discussion! I am impressed by your word usage!" While an English native speaker will read this and ask "Who decided to debate this case in court? Isn't this supposed to be an everyday essay discussion? Who made this writer the prosecutor for the case? This is a totally inappropriate discussion based on word usage. Essay failed." The focus on word usage ended up being a negative for this presentation. It opened up the writer to more GRA and C+C deductions than he would have received had he used a simple discussion using basic to intermediate English words that are not profession specific. After all, the exam taker is not taking the bar exam, just an IELTS test.

***Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion Some workers choose to dedicate their professional life to one corporation only, whereas others suppose switching jobs is more beneficial. Both these views will bring certain advantages, but I believe that they should change their workplace for many good reasons. One of the most prominent advantages of working for various companies is that we can upgrade ourselves with new skills. This is because when we change workplace after a period of dedication at the old company, we can get exposure to diverse working environments, thereby we might learn new techniques, accumulate working experience comprehend more expertise and acquire more knowledge experience from experts that we have a chance to work together with. Consequently, we will become a better versions of ourselves and increase our market value in leaps and bounds. For example, in one of a recent survey, 90% of the respondents people mentioned this reason for moving from their current workplace to a new ones. So, job hopping is not a bad idea for their personal development. improving yourself and getting more lucrative opportunities. On the contrary, there is are a group of individuals contemplating contributing their services to the same institution for their whole lifetime. The primary reasons for this is the stability and security of the job. Even though they do not gain more knowledge and skills, they might get the chances of recognition and promotions. They are also less likely to lose their job in the event of a downsizing. To illustrate, a group of random age employees are interviewed about to know their thoughts idea about changing jobs., The findings of the interview which revealed that folks would like to continue the same job as they do not want to get out of their comfort zone. In conclusion, people will have their own reasons to decide to stay with the same job or switch companies careers. Having said that, It is apparent working in multiple institutions will bring more benefits than continuing to work for the same company for a lifetime. Therefore, I strongly encourage that the employees should alter shift their job when they feel the current one career is not suitable and they want to improve themselves.

Avoid overwriting a task 2 essay. Specially when the writer is not even sure if he is actually following the required prompt discussion. Kindly remember that this is a 40 minute task wherein almost 400 words cannot be written if the writer is to ensure that he is delivering correctly on all scoring requirements. It is more important to write a prompt adherent essay than one that is extremely long and went overboard with the discussion so that the topic focus is already incorrect, thus failing the test, in the end. The first problem with the essay is the writing approach. The reasoning paragraphs should compare and contrast (or support) with the writer's opinion. That is because when this essay is written, there are only 2 considerations to be considered: 1. What is the public understanding of the given opinion? (Use third person group pronouns) 2. Can the writer support the opinion? Why? ( Singular first person pronouns must be used) These are the 2 questions that the 2 response paragraphs should respond to. Should the writer prefer to offer a stand alone personal opinion, then the same format should be followed but present the opinion as a stand alone paragraph. There is no need to provide a personal opinion within the first 2 public opinion explanation paragraphs. The second problem with this essay is that the concluding summary included a prompt deviation when the writer included an encouragement of an action which was not indicated by the writing instructions. This change in discussion focus left the essay without a proper concluding summary and thus, will receive a failing score due to the lack of a necessary paragraph. These are the reasons why this essay will fail regardless of the length of each paragraph, word count, and word usage. C+C considerations do not matter when the response approach is incorrect. The essay has already failed.

***(IELTS writing task 2) In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research.*** ## Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages? Nowadays, researches carried out by private firms have outnumbered the one conducted by state institutions. Weighing up the pros and cons, I believe that the advantages are eclipsed by the disadvantages. Regarding the merits, there are two major reasons why private experiments could have their strengths. Firstly, due to consumers' demand and the competition in the market, private scientists are likely to come up with cost-effective solutions and convenient innovations. A telling example of this is the Covid-19 testing kits produced by Pfizer, a biology technology company which has created one of the first kits with which anyone could carry out a Covid-19 test at home. The second point is that these firms always invest in the latest equipment to get the most accurate results. Therefore, when compares with some government institutes with old-fashioned facilities, there would be a huge difference in the final achievements. In contrast, experiments conducted by private firms do have some significant drawbacks which can not compensate for their benefits. The first problem is the lack of cooperation among institutions and top scientists. To clarify, these scientists only work for their company and carry out their work independently, which in turn lengthens the timeline of scientific projects and curtails the application of many findings. In further consideration, there are risks that some firms might modify or even hide the findings to have the most suitable ones that can help them advertise and sell their products. For instance, Coca-cola has announced that based on its experiments, the consequences of drinking Coca-cola regularly have been exaggerated and it is ok for its customers to have it daily. This statement could lead to an increased intake of sugary beverages. Finally, customers are the ones who always have to suffer from these deceptive announcements. In summary, private-firm-subsided researches have become commonplace in recent years due to the growing participation in the field of science and technology of private companies. From the aforementioned arguments, it seems to me that the demerits outweigh the merits of this tendency.

Please limit the task 2 word count to 300 words so that extra time may be spent in cleaning up the essay. That means, the extra time should be used to revise the essay for clarity, overall meaning, sentence structure, and proper word usage. Simply writing a long essay that has not been edited will result in more mistakes and point deductions due to avoidable errors. The writer would want to avoid such deductions at all costs. Specially since this essay does contain more than several errors that could lead to a failing score. The prompt paraphrase for example, strays from the original presentation. If we compare it side by side: OT: ... private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. YT: ... researches carried out by private firms have outnumbered the one conducted by state institutions The original theme revolves around the fact that the government has funded less scientific research while private companies are spending more on the same research. In the interpretation, the focus changes from scientific research to general research (wrong) and it discusses the number or amount of research (wrong again) rather than the monetary aspect of the research conducted. There will be no recourse but to fail the prompt restatement section of the paragraph. This will be done regardless of the appropriate (but discussion foundation lacking) writer's opinion. Next time, include a short reference to the 2 supporting topics to be discussed to complete the clarity of the writer's opinion. An inappropriate discussion format was also used, which will result in further deductions for this essay. This is a compare and contrast essay. However, the comaprison must follow a specific single topic format to receive proper marking for the C+C score Following the way this person writes, the format, used over 2 reasoning paragraphs, should be: Sentence 1: Advantage Sentence 2: Explain why Sentence 3: Oppose the advantage Sentence 4: Explain why Sentence 5: Provide examples to prove the disadvantage or create a transition sentence Only by using the correct writing format will the writer deliver a proper written debate as required by the A v. D discussion prompt.

## Should universities accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject? With the appearance of the feminist movement, females in recent decades have been treated as equal as males. This supports the idea that universities should ensure a completely equitable distribution of students in every subject. While this might seem to be a practical suggestion at first, I am strongly against this proposal for certain reasons. Firstly, this seems to be unrealistic when an overview of the variation of the gender ratio across the world has shown the number of males relative to females is male-biased in almost every country, this ratio is around 105 males per 100 females. This means it is impossible for universities to arrange an exactly equal number of boys and girls into every major. Otherwise, if this situation is capable of implementation, the arrangement is unfair for both. In each subject, every university has a quantity of entry-level, the entrance of students will be decided by their total points, and obviously, it is filtered from top to bottom, the higher of scores, the higher of chances a student matriculates. However, in the case of being equal in males and females, for example, if a girl with a higher mark than a boy, to ensure a balanced number of boys and girls in one class, forcing the university to choose the boy instead of another one. This is actually unacceptable. Besides, not every man and woman is suited to all the majors based on their overall abilities and interests. For instance, some science subjects are mainly not done well by women, such as mathematics, computer science, technology, and other fields of knowledge, which are totally dominated by males. Despite the noticeable progress that has been achieved in acknowledging that men and women both can be capable in science, female employees may still face evident discrimination in male-dominated work environments. Therefore, it is challenging for women to compete with men in such fields. Similarly, it is hard for male students to learn embroidery as it is for female students to study anatomy. As this shows, it is right to expect boys and girls to have separate academic pursuits and choose their majors on their own. To conclude, I must affirm once again, it is neither realistic nor necessary to accept equal numbers of males and females in universities. Labeling this opinion as "a symbol of fairness" totally cannot be supported.

The writer will lose points for not properly restating the simple, one liner topic sentence as provided. The first paragraph should not have more sentences than the original. It should also save the point of view discussion for the reasoning paragraphs since only an opinion with thesis statement is required for the paragraph. Since the thesis statement is not present, full points cannot be given as a preliminary score. The test requires the student to intelligently discuss a topic within 3-5 sentences per paragraph. This is a conversational rather than academic paper afterall. While this essay is well within qualified reasoning, the writer has to focus more on concise writing, as if answering within a class verbal discussion instead. That is why there is a writing time limit. As a test essay this is well-written but over-discussed. As such it is in danger of losing out on point increases and might receive penalties instead.

**(IELTS WRITING TASK 2)** ***Some people think that an international sports event is suitable for a country, while some people think it is bad.*** ## Discuss both views and state your opinion. My essay: Numerous citizens believe that conducting international sporting events can bring many benefits to their own nation, whereas others think the opposite way. In my opinion, it is reasonable for those who side with the latter idea, but I totally agree with the former one because there are advantages for aspects including tourism, people in the local area could be earned from the event. On the one hand, an international event needs a huge amount of money to organize. It means that the government has to rely on resources such as the national budget which is mostly collected through taxes. As a result, many people might think it would be more efficient to focus on education as well as the public transport or sewage system. For example, the Sea games, which were hosted by VietNam the last year, cost over 500 billion VND, while in every rainy season, lots of cities in VietNam are flooded. Furthermore, many indoor sporting areas built for the event might be left unused because the next Sea games will be hosted by another country. On the other hand, on a global stage, an international event is a great opportunity for a nation to promote its culture, tourism, and so on. This is due to the fact that athletes and interviewers from various countries will be invited and join the event. From this, they will advertise and introduce what they are interested in. Besides, businesses of local citizens living around areas for the event could also boost their revenue as there are more tourists or travelers who want to behold how athletes compete in the stadium. In conclusion, international sports events could consume a lot of money, however, it could be compensated by other values such as national finance and the image of the country.

This type of prompt asks the writer to consider 3 things: - Why does the public support the opinion? (Supporting explanation) - What does he think about the public opinion (personal opinion: Support or non-support) - Why does he see the public opinion that way? (Explanation) Based on the current writing, I cannot say that the writer actually considered the public vs, his personal opinion. That is because there is a lack of proper 3rd and 1st person pronoun usage in the essay. There needs to be a demarcation between opinions in each paragraph through pronoun usage otherwise, the general opinion presentation could be considered only of the writer's personal point of view. Keep in mind that this is a comparative essay of the public v, personal kind and such, must be reflected that was in each paragraph. The reasoning provided is sound and acceptable but, unclear with regards to who is actually thinking and presenting these opinions. Each paragraph needs to represent 2 opinions as previously described.

**The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** Please check my writing! Million thanks! ## the figure of visitors in the Carribean The line chart illustrates the figure of visitors each year from 2010 to 2017 in a Caribbean island. Overall, the total number of people choosing the island as a holiday destination was almost always on a strong rise throughout the years. However, there were some differences in the trend between the tourists spending their time on cruise ships and those who chose to stay on the mainland. In 2010, the number of visitors staying on the island was about 0.75 million, three times that of those staying on cruise ships. For the next three years, the former figure doubled to one and a half million, while the latter only saw slight fluctuations from a quarter to half a million. From 2013 to 2017, the rate of people enjoying their time on the island witnessed a complete standstill at its old peak, it even dipped a little in 2016 before coming back to its previously constant record of 1.5 million in 2017. On the other hand, a remarkable upward trend happened to the number of visitors spending time on ships. In contrast to its stagnancy in the first three years, there was an increase by at least 0.5 and at most 1 million annually of this figure. In 2016 and 2017, the number finally surpassed its counterpart and reached a peak record of 2 million visitors. *

This is not a task 2 essay. It is a task 1 essay of 150-200 words. With 225 words written, the writer has not done his sectional scores any favors. He has opened himself up to scoring deductions based on avoidable errors that would not have occurred had he not over written the task report / analysis. He must learn how to write shorter but comprehensible paragraphs to meet that requirement. I believe that this error happended because he used numerical word references in some aspects rather than just indicated the digit or numerical symbols for the numbers. Remember that editing, rewriting, and final formatting must be accomplished within 20 minutes. So what will be considered is the quality of writing provided rather than the word count or complexity of word usage. The task 1 essay does not need to be verbose. its old peak Which was? The writer is over describing the images instead of using direct descriptive words. He focused only on word usage in the hopes of creating a passing essay. Rather, his overuse of descriptive words rather than concise infomation sharing proved to be a problem for his essay. He exaggerated references, over stated facts, and clearly, tried to provide a vocabulary test rather than a reporting essay.

Please check my writing! Million thanks! ## SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION FROM THE GRAPHS The line charts illustrate the alteration in the possession of electric appliances and the quantity of time spent on housework in family in one nation from 1920 to 2019. It is clear that the percentages of households with electrical devices, namely washing machines, refrigerators, and vacuum cleaners, saw upward trends in the time survey, while the number of hours of housework per week, per household, saw an opposite tendency during the research period. Initially, in 1920, the rate of families owning washing machines made up highest, stood at 40%, whereas the figure for vacuum cleaners was slightly lower, at 30%, compared to almost no refrigerator-owning households. After about 100 years, in 2019, there were significant rises of roughly 100% and 70% to both 100% in the ratios of owning refrigerators and vacuum cleaners in households. Meanwhile, the rate of the possession of washing machines also saw a rapid increase to roughly 75%. However, the amount of time expenditure on housework weekly per family experienced a dramatic fall. To specify, in 1920, an average family needed 50 hours each week to do housework, while up to 2019, they just spent medium 10 hours on housework in a week. *

There is a lack of clarity in the summary overview. While the writer properly identified the image provided and used the plural reference form for it, he forgot that along with the plural form comes the numerical indicative form for each image. That means, 2 sentences identifying the image information would have been needed to complete the summary. A proper indicator would have been: *2 line graphs have been provided for comparison. The first line graph covers information regarding the households that own electricity consuming gadgets, while the second graph considers housework hours rendered by families over 7 day periods. The percentages measurements for both groups were completed over a period of almost a century (1929-2019). Trending for the images indicate that ownership ... As for manpower hours, the measurements show a high of... and a low of...* By properly identifying the images, separating the information provided, and allowing for a concise trending presentation, the full requirements for scoring the summary overview + trending statement would have been provided. The above version is an example of a concise and preliminary high scoring TA paragraph. After about 100 years Wrong time frame indicator. It is one year less than a hundred years and should have been indicated as such. Take note of how I referenced the same in the sample above. Paragraph sentence uniformity is a must for clear and easily understandable paragraphs. Always write 3-5 sentences. Any less cannot be scored as a complete paragraph consideration.

***Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Sharing information helps people gain more understanding in a variety of fields such as business, science and academic world, but not all the information is freely shared because of its importance and value. There are many people agree with one of two views, but pesonally I think both views are partly. It is understandable why some people think that a wide range of information should be shared widely about different areas of life. First, people could know more about academic world, pros and cons of scientific development to the environment and business investment for investors, so that people could apply their knowledge about those fields to protect our environment and get the most profit for themselves. However, some details such as how to make coca cola, or some crazy discoveries of people in process of scientific research and the academic world are too important and valuable. If that ìnormation is not kept confidentai, people will become confused and the world will be in chaos, so some people believe that those details could not shared freely with the others who do not work or analysis about those areas. In my opinion, I think information about scientific research business and academic world should be shared with people in a selective way. The details shared need to be interesting, new and easy to understand, without confusing the recipients. Besides, valuable and important information for an individual or organization conducting in-depth research in various fields should be kept confidential to prevent others from stealing ideas and achievements of those individuals and organizations, also avoid bewilderment for those who have no expertise in these areas.

The prompt restatement will receive a failing preliminary score because of 2 reasons: 1. It does not clearly and individually restate the 2 given public opinions; 2. The writer's opinion is an incomplete presentation. Partly what? Based on these 2 errors, the writer cannot receive a passing mark for the paragraph due to the confusing sentence structure and information presentation. It will also receive a failing preliminary GRA score due to the confusion reading the paragraph will cause the examiner. At this point, the exam taker no longer has a chance of passing the test due to the additional score deductions that will be applied per section for each paragraph he has written. Actually, the essay will receive an automatic failing score due to the improper formatting present. There is no concluding paragraph in the last part of the essay so the summary conclusion is missing. It is also just a 3 paragraph essay when the requirement for this prompt is a 4-5 paragraph discussion. I am afraid the writer does not understand how to properly format a Task 2 essay and how to write the paragraphs based on the writing instructions. That is why this essay failed. He can easily learn how to write these essays by reading the sample essays as this forum. He can familiarize himself with the writing requirements and learn from the mistakes made by others and the corrections provided to them. After he learns more about how to approach the writing test, he can try to write another practice essay for review in this forum.

***In some countries, if people need to find work, they have to move away from their families and their friends. ## Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?*** It is indeed that in some parts of the world these days, individuals need to relocate away from their families and friends to seek employment opportunities. While this trend is beneficial in some ways, there are more compelling reasons why the drawbacks of this outweigh the benefits. On the one hand, people's decisions to move to another country for a living is plausible for some reasons. It is a widespread belief that prosperous countries may provide people with higher-paid jobs. Since these countries have better developed-economy, there will be more corporations and developed companies with good financial backgrounds, which allows them to offer employees high salaries. In some developing countries like Nigeria, for example, residents may be unable to earn their living, so they move to France in search of well-paying employment, after which they can send money home if employed. On the other hand, the movement of people to be far away from their relatives and friends for job prospects has numerous adverse impacts. Local people may maintain prejudices and discriminate against migrant workers, making it harder for them to integrate into society; one example is racism against African and Asian citizens in many wealthy nations, such as the United States and some European countries. Another disadvantage is that working conditions in the host nations may be inadequate. As a result, labourers may have to work in hazardous and unhealthy environments, which can be detrimental to their health in the long run. In conclusion, while the trend of people moving away from family and friends to find employment opportunities has certain advantages, it also has more considerable problems. It is recommended that individuals make every effort to find work in their neighbourhoods.

There is no need to attest to the reality of the topic provided for the discussion. There is no true or false question being asked so the writer need not respond to an unspoken or unwritten question. This is an unnecessary and score deductible part of the prompt restatement. If he had merely repeated the need to relocate for work without any additional opinions, then the restatement would have been based on the original presentation. It is important to understand that trying to increase the word count by altering the original topic presentation, in this instance by saying "indeed" when there was no need to reiterate a response since no question was being asked, will affect the score adversely and therefore, should not be done when restating a prompt. Respond only to clear questions being asked / included as a writing guide. The response paragraphs are incorrectly formatted. Since this is a single opinion presentation, a comparative discussion should be used to reinforce the writer's opinion over 2 paragraphs. That translates into the writer needing to disprove why benefits are actually drawbacks, or in this case, why an advantage is actually a disadvantage. The response format is: Sentence 1: Advantage Sentence 2: Supporting reason Sentence 3: Writer's point of view which is either supportive or opposing to the advantage presented Sentence 4: Supporting reason Sentence 5: Example to support the disadvantage Do this twice to create coherent and cohesive supporting discussion for the writer's opinion. Never deviate from the defense of the writer's point of view because that is the writing requirement. Do not compare and contrast 2 different reasons. Compare and contrast the reasons why one topic could be both and advantage and disadvantage instead. That is how this essay will receive the best major scoring considerations. It is recommended that This will be another major score deduction. Since the writer is not being asked to make recommendations for solutions, seeing as this is only a discussion and not a problem solving essay, he will be considered prompt deviant in the conclusion, which could very well lead to an automatic failing score since the writer has shown he is unable to follow the most basic writing instruction as provided in the original prompt and writing guide.

***Some education systems make student focus on certain subjects at the age of 15 while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. ## what are the benefits of each system? which is better?*** Modern era has witnessed numerous innovations in education and myriads of attitudes towards it. Evidently, people arenow divergent whether specializing education systems or broader ones are better. Although both viewpoints maintain different justifications, concentrating on certain subjects is generally more benificial and necessary for students. Proponents of broad range of subjects may espouse the fostered comprehensive knowledge together with enhanced chances to find out desirable profession. To commence with, the exposure to a wide sphere of knowledge ranging from natural science to social one can inevitably engender students' profound information about various field. Therefore, they undoubtedly have better grasp of academic problems , yielding favorable outcomes for their future career. Another point is that, joining plentiful lessons of dissimilar subjects offer pupils opportunities to try out multitude of majors, enriching their choices in terms of suitable professions. Advocates of specialized education systems may argue for the enhanced social experience and boosted time to pursue future careers. To exemplify, fewer subjects are synomymous with fewer tests or exams, resulting in the students' more sacrifying time for other activities such as reading books, newspapers or play sport and expanding network circle. These non-academic activities tend to provides juveniles with large amount of precious social experience, rendering the increased ability to navigate social situations in future workplace. Additionally, with the more attention paid at preferred subjects realating to pursued career, students may lay themselves concrete foundation on their basic information of the field. Consequence includes potential capacity in terms of this pursuit can be considerably shaped at the early stage. In conclusion, I would prefer the specialized system due to the social experience and more time offered and claim that it relatively more essential and favorable for students.

Okay. The writer understands the subject of the discussion but did not provide the 3 explanatory statements as required by the presentation instruction. What makes it clear that this is a 3 paragraph essay? The following statement clearly indicates that need: what are the benefits of each system? which is better? There are 2 educational systems up for discussion at one explanatory paragraph each. The explanation of the writer's opinion is another separate explanatory paragraph. Each paragraph must be fully explained and convincing to the reader. With regards to the explanatory paragraphs for each system of education, the writer does not equally develop the explanation for each. The lack of discussion development usually presents itself with the second reason provided. It is sufficient to use only one reason or benefit explanation for each paragraph due to the number of paragraphs required. Just make sure to fully explain and support each reason presented. Presenting the writer's preferred learning method in the concluding paragraph could result in a failing test score since the requirement for the concluding paragraph is to summarize and conclude the discussion. The writer cannot present and explain his opinion in this paragraph due to that requirement. This essay will be considered incomplete upon submission due to the lack of a properly presented conclusion. Normally, the lack of a concluding paragraph results in a failing score. Remember, the scores are based on proper response formats. Simply using keywords to indicate a conclusion is not the same as developing a correctly formatted reverse paraphrase / concluding summary. These are the main reasons that this essay could have scoring problems. I have not even gotten started on the punctuation and other grammar related problems of the presentation.

Please give me some feedback. Thanks a lot! **The most important consideration when choosing any career or jobs is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?** At least once in a lifetime, everyone has to face the problem of choosing what is a good job and what are the indicators of a good job. Some people believe that having a high salary is the most important factor when picking a job. In my perspective, high-income jobs are not always the best, other aspects such as working conditions and the purpose of the job also needed to be considered. With the progress of society, people are more concerned about the working conditions when they choose a job. If the job requires the employee to work overtime and even no weekend break, they will likely quit the job soon. For example, a report from VTV, the national broadcast tv of Vietnam, reported that a third of graduated students tend to quit their 9 to 5 jobs within 6 months of apprenticeship because of the overtime work On the other hand, the meaning of the job is also crucial. Only when we find the purpose of the job, then we can go far and do good at it. A friend of mine graduated from a prestigious university and worked for a big bank quit his job after 4 years of relentlessly working hard because he felt like he was working as a robot and found no meaningful in his job. In conclusion, while money is essential when choosing a job, other aspects such as working conditions and the purpose of the job also need to be considered.

The response of the writer to the question is incomplete. He ommitted responding to the "To what extent?" question when he framed his response. This led to an under developed and misformatted discussion presentation. The ommission will result in high TA score penalties for this essay. The first sentence is a prompt deviation as it changes the basis of the discussion presented. There is no "one in a lifetime" reference in the original. Being perhaps a personal opinion, the writer should have presented that as a part of his opinion presentation instead. For a prompt restatement not to receive deductions, it must successfully and directly restate the given topic within the first 2 sentences of the first paragraph. When writing the opinion presentation, the writer must take note of the response format requirement. In this case, it was "To what extent?" Therefore the proper response should have been structured as: *I **strongly oppose** the given statement because other aspects such as working conditions and the purpose of the job also needed to be considered.* I highlighted the portion of the text that the response accuracy score will be based upon. The keywords representing a measured or emotional response are a scoring requirement in this case. There was no sense in saying "On the other hand" to start the 2nd reasoning paragraph. Since this is a supporting reason and not an opposing reason, the opening sentence should have been a cohesive statement instead to help connect the 2 paragraphs and create a higher C+C score for the overall presentation. The writer could have instead said something like *"Another important consideration is..."* With the word "another" representing the connecting link between the two paragraphs. One small ommission that the writer made which will also result in a very minimal, but still required deduction is the word count. He only wrote 249 words when the minimum is 250 words. Yes, a minute percentage deduction will still be applied because coming in under the minimum word count carries a scoring penalty, regardless of how close the writer was to the minimum requirement. Keep track of the words being written. It will be best to always write 5 sentences per paragraph to ensure that the word requirements are met. There is always a danger of coming in under the word count when only 3 sentences are written. As far as the sentence structures and presentation are concerned, the writer does not have perfect sentence presentations and yes, there is no mix of sentence styles present in his writing. However, the ideas presented are understandable and does not confuse the reader so the lack of sentence styles will not be too much of a scoring problem. His GRA and C+C scores will remain somewhat strong. His vocabulary is acceptable even as it lacks advanced English word usage. Advanced English word usage is not as important as using simple but understandable words to make a point. That is what is being scored here, the proper use of English words, no matter how simple, to make oneself understood. Good job with that ! When considering the reasons presented, it is clear that the writer understood that this is a single opinion prompt, which he wrote accordingly. The writer did a good job in that aspect. The problem, is that he first changed the basis of the discussion in the restatement, used the wrong linking reference to connect the paragraphs, and finally, did not meet the 40 minimum word count or 2 sentence requirement for the otherwise appropriate summary conclusion to receive a better scoring consideration. Seeing how well the writer wrote this essay though, I can say that he just needs improvements to certain sections of his work in order to stand a chance of receiving a higher than average overall test score.

Please check my writing. Thank you, guys! The pie charts visually describe the percentage of males and females arrested in the period of five years ending 1994, and the bar chart illustrates a variety of recent causes for the arrest. In general, the percentage of males being jailed was higher than that of females. Moreover, most people were arrested because of public drinking. In the five years ending in 1995, there was nearly a third percent of men (32%) being arrested in the total number of people who committed crimes, whereas the number for women was at a much lower, about three and a half times lower, 9%. Moving on to the reasons for the arrest, we can clearly see that public drinking was the main reason why people were captured, with more than 30% in both genders. Other reasons such as breach of order, assault, and theft were around 10 to 20 percent. Furthermore, the proportion of females apprehended by drink-driving was around 15%, and the figures for males roughly doubled that of females. Also, some crimes that had no answer were around 5 percent in both sexes. Lastly, other reason not mentioned had a percentage of just under 20%. *

I would like to focus my review primarily on the summary overview presentation as this represents a large portion, actually the passing portion, of the task score. It is imperative that the summarized information is properly formatted to meet TA and C+C requirements as this is the scannable paragraph of the overall report. First up, there are 2 different images that are provided for the review. Since both images offer differing information targets, these cannot be presented as a connected sentence in the summary. Rather, these should be presented as stand alone sentences that use the correct connecting phrases to bridge the 2 sentences. The writer could have also shown more varied skills if he had indicated the information as covering half a decade, then indicating the actual years presented in a parenthesis to help clarify his meaning. It creates a more advanced sentence structure. The trending statement could use more clarity as well. There should be a separation or proper indicator as to which image is related to what information. Remember, this is still part of the summary overview. So a clearer summary presentation format could have been: Sentence 1: Main subject introduction Sentence 2: Image identifier + Trending Information Sentence 3: Image identifier + Trending Information Sentence 4: Transition sentence into the actual report / analysis paragraphs The aforementioned presentation allows for a coherent and cohesive summary presentation. in the period of five years ending 1994 In the five years ending in 1995 Information inconsistencies are present in the reports that will create confusion for the reader. He did not bother to double check his information for accuracy leading to a confusing paragraph presentation. The paragraph should also have been anchored onto an image identifier introduction for the first sentence. By the way, the paragraph needs to have a minimum of 3 sentences to qualify as a proper paragraph.

Hi! I'm working on my Barnard essays, and I am afraid that my essay is trivial. Should I rewrite it? The prompt: ***Pick one woman - a historical figure, fictitious character, or modern individual - to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. ## Why does this person intrigue you? What would you talk about? What questions would you ask them? (300 words max)*** In the 1960s, Katherine Johnson started to work at NASA as a mathematician, becoming one of the first women of color in the agency. Being a woman and a black person, she had to deal with sexism and racism from her colleagues daily, who were skeptical of Johnson's work. However, being a strong, brave, and highly talented person who easily overcame difficulties, Johnson quickly climbed the career ladder. She made a considerable contribution to such programs as Apollo 11 and Mercury (including the missions of Alan Shepard and John Glenn) and left her significant mark on space exploration. Katherine Johnson inspired me as a person interested in STEM after watching the famous movie "Hidden Figures" and studying her exceptional biography, filled with the struggle in career and life, hard work, and outstanding achievements. If I had the opportunity to have a conversation with Katherine for an hour, I would ask how she was able to achieve such a position in her career and society despite the difficulties and public rejection that accompanied her as a woman in science. Also, walking along the corridors of NASA, we would brainstorm various strategies for improving the world's achievements in space exploration and try to elaborate on answers to space-related questions that scientists have been facing for decades. Ultimately, I would ask her for advice for me and other girls who dream of becoming successful scientists, working in the space industry, and being strong leaders in their communities.

My opinion is that this statement can do with some revisions. For starters, the first paragraph needs to be better blended as an insightful and self - inspiring introduction to your interest in space science through an admiration for this person. That way more attention can be paid to the discussion and time spent with this person. Set up the meeting prior to the discussion of the questions you will be asking. For example, you could go back in time to one of her more notable missions, pick the one you are most interested in. Then ask relevant questions that will accomplish 2 things: 1. Further introduce this historical character to the reader 2. Allow the reviewer to understand how your interests and potential success in this field directly ties in with this inspirational person. The first paragraph does not really focus the essay on the applicant, which poses a problem since the reviewer will learn more about the historical figure rather than the applicant in relation to the figure. So that became a problem for this presentation.

## taxation and pollution **SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT INCREASING TAX ON VARIOUS INDUSTRIES WILL REDUCE POLLUTION, WHEREAS OTHERS BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE BETTER ALTERNATIVE WAYS. DISCUSS BOTH THE VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.** Nowadays, many argue that increasing tax can be a good way to protect environment, while some alternative methods are thought to be better. In my opinion, taxation is the better solution than others due to its effectiveness. The case for that there are still better ways is related to the growth of using green energy such as wind, water, solar. These renewable resources make quite impact on the industry especially production facilities so that they encourage the business to become a green industry. Tesla, for instance, with the government sponsorship tends to become an eco-friendly business. However, this is a limited solution when developed nations with high technological level have method of producing energy from these resources, but not for developing countries and others. On the other hand, heavy taxing on the industries prevent enterprises from dumping waste into nature. This solution seems to make the companies change their product method from current practices to cleaner energy practices. In European Union, this approach is useful when enterprises are taxed at higher rates, which reduces how much carbon footprints come. Additionally, that industries are greener gain the support from government and public and also friendly environment. In conclusion, taxation is an effective solution for current situation; moreover, both approaches can consider to be mixed together to become a greater way in the future. In addition to, environment should be a government priority along with the attention from residents.

The prompt restatement inaccurately represents the first version of the topic presentation. There are no arguments provided, merely differeing opinions. So the writer exaggerated the essence of the original topic. Nobody is arguing about the topic. Rather, there are 2 different opinions presented and these should have been reflected without exaggeration through the writer's interpretation. As for the writer's opinion, he clearly indicated the side that he supported, but forgot to give a short explanation as to why he supports that opinion. That would have increased the clarity of his opinion and the task accuracy score as well. Using the comparative opinion discussion per paragraph would have helped the writer achieve better coherence and cohesiveness in his explanations. These would have both been considered properly and fully developed in terms of scoring had he chosen to do 2 things: 1. Explain the reasons why the public supports an opinion. 2. Give the reasons why he opposes / also supports the given opinion. In the case of the opinion he supports, he could have added personal insight after the public explanation, using the correct first person pronouns to help him achieve a better score in terms of C+C considerations. In this case, the essay is under developed and a bit confusing the understand since there are no correct pronouns being used in the essay. The lack of pronouns makes it difficult to understand if the writer is explaining a public opinion or, if he presenting his personal views of the given topic. The lack of pronoun consideration could very well affect his GRA score negatively.

## **The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.** *Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.* The two maps present an overview on how the island has changed in the aspect tourist facilities. Overall, it can be deducted from a quick glance that a lot of tourist facilities, ranging from accommodation, operational buildings like a restaurant or a reception have popped up. Despite all of the man-made changes, a good job of preserving the natural features is noticeable. The first thing that can be taken from the two maps is an enormous change in on-land buildings. Forming in groups in the left and middle part of the island are tourist housing. Between them lies a restaurant and a reception. Footpaths and vehicle tracks form around those main buildings provide ways of traveling around the island. A pier has also been built in the small bay just on the bottom of the island Third of all, besides from the beach being purposed as a swimming spot, the rest of the island, considering nature, remains unchanged. * *the two maps*

The immediate thing that hit me upon scanning this report is that the writer does not know how to count. He went from "The first thing" to "Third of all" without having passed through second. What happened there? I have not even considered the icorrect grammar references to the chronological order of the presentations at this point. That is another severe writing mistake that this writer cannot overcome. Was it a case of not proof reading the document before considering it final? This is why it is imperative that the writer's get into the habit of reviewing and editing their work before submission. Do not use all 20 minutes just writing, nor should one use less than 20 minutes and submit without reviewing the paper. These are the main reasons why the papers tend to get automatic failing scores. Some shortcomings in the presentation are just too obvious to ignore so proper deductions have to be applied. The writer also does not use complete paragraphs for the later presentations. There are only 2 sentences written for some sections, which cannot be considered complete paragraphs since these do not have the mandatory 3-5 sentence requirement present. All combined, the essay is weakly written and shows that the writer is not capable of properly writing an academic paper in English.

## pros and cons of uniforms at schools In the contemporary decades, there were controversies about the students' dress code when going to school. Meanwhile, several schools have rigidity in wearing uniforms, others have loose surveillance about it. In general, this regulation brings about both merits and demerits and this essay will discuss these aspects. To begin with, it can be seen that there are numerous benefits of compliance with school outfits. Firstly, The specific dress code may diminish the wealth gap and promote general equality. Living in an epoch where social positions constantly intertwine, uniforms will standardize all in a certain framework. This can make rich pupils not follow expensive brand-name clothes, and simultaneously, students who are in impoverished circumstances don't feel self-deprecating. Secondly, school uniforms can create an identity and make it easier to recognize. Institutions can readily manage their pupils through their uniforms. For instance, if strangers go to the school with negative intentions, staff will easily recognize and prevent them, or in a chaotic crowd of competition, uniforms will become the signature for identifying certain participants coming from what institution. Besides that, school clothes not only can create formality in school but also avoid cases in that students wear inappropriate costumes: short skirts, tight tops, or bright-colored hairstyles. On the contrary, adopting rigorous regulations results in students can't express their own styles. Following strict attire rules will make pupils not have the right to select their favorite outfits or show their aesthetic tastes. As a consequence, plenty of them will feel frustrated because of not being in freedom of choice. What is more, some uniforms can lead to inconvenience to the pupils since a number of school outfits are unsuitable for outdoor activities. A noteworthy example is the "ao dai" - a traditional costume of VietNam and also uniforms of every high school female - occasionally causes discomfort when moving, and at the same time, danger when driving. In conclusion, regardless of the disadvantages of uniforms' obligations in some schools, I strongly believe that the pros of dress code surpass its cons.

The prompt restatement of the student should have been clearer in reference to the original prompt. The given sentences do not really adhere to the given statement / idea, so the thesis statement that the examiner expected to read was not of a very good quality. It can only be weakly scored because it is basically empty of context. A better paraphrase would have been: *I can definitely see what advantages there are to wearing a school uniform such as (reason 1) and (connected reason 2). Then again I also consider uniform dreassing in schools as a disadvantage because (reason 1) and (connected reason 2). I would like to explain my opinion so that the public can make their own decision regarding this topic.* What did the above presentation create for the task accuracy score of the test taker? 1. It created 2 summarized discussion outline presentations. 2. The summarized reasons led to the creation of general discussion considerations for the reader as required by the presentation instructions. Remember that this is a general statement essay. As such, the prompt does not ask the writer to make a decision for the reader but rather, inform the reader to allow them to come to their own decision. When the prompts provided are along these lines, the writer should present clear reasons and explanations, but allow the readers to come to their own conclusions since the writer is not directed to create a conclusion for the explanation paragraphs. That means the belief of the writer should not be factored into the discussion, most specially in the concluding statement. It should disseminate information, but not make decisions for the reader. The writer took the correct approach to the discussion though. He kept it general and did not reflect a personal opinion in the paragraphs. Good work on keeping the explanations generalized in terms of opinion presentation. That is exactly the kind of writing this prompt requires. Remember, there are no right or wrong opinions for these types of prompts, only conclusions that the readers can arrive at for themselves based on the given writer considered discussion points.

## history as a mandatory subject Education is always considered as a fundamental formation to everyone to develop themselves in the future. Therefore, it is hotly-debated topic that divided several different views. Recently, history has become a compulsory subject at high school; however, some stick to the idea that students should spend mostly time on learning natural subjects such as maths, physics. In my opinion, I think that history is a mandatory subject is a right decision To commence with, thanks to this decision of ministry of education it helps each student in Vietnam be aware of the importance of history. From that they will have the right attitude to this subject. Besides, others often feel bored and say that history does not help them anything in the future, thus owing to becoming a core subject, it makes change their mind and gradually respect this subject more. Furthermore, that learning history as an important subject at school also help students have a huge broad of knowledge about it. After accumulating these lessons about history in the classroom, students can comprehend deeply what ancestors sacrificed to protect the country's independence and create a peaceful life as now. As a result, they will try their best to study well and have an optimistic outlook to their living. These devotion of the former generation is a endless resource of motivation to fulfill themselves better. Moreover, history also bring them enormous precious experiences and meaningful lessons in order to avoid the same situations in the past. In conclusion, it is logical when history is announced to be a mandatory subject . Being a senior at high school, I am trying to learn history well in particular and other subject in general to deserve with what people in the past did.

The first 2 sentences in the prompt restatement could cause the paragraph to receive a failing score due to the discussion deviation that the thoughts presented. These are no doubt the personal opinion of the writer and as such, should not be included in the prompt restatement. It could be used to present his personal opinion, but it cannot be used as a part of the topic restatement since it does not relate to the actual discussion topic. Education is not the focal point of the essay. The subjects taught in school are the target of the discussion. Those are 2 different topics for discussion. Focus on the one related to the original presentation. thanks to this decision of ministry of education it helps each student in Vietnam The writer has created a country focused discussion which is not the expected response format for this essay. The writer's opinion must be presented in a general manner that can apply to any country in the world. He cannot focus specifically on his home country because there is no specific country given in the discussion. Also, the reference to the country, but not a personal experience of the writer tends to disqualify this as an example. Had he related the decision to his own learning process, then the given paragraph would have better met the writing requirements. help students There is a disconnection between the previous reasoning paragraph and the second reasoning paragraph. That is because the first reason focuses on Vietnam alone while the second paragraph uses the general (worldwide) reference instead. Hence the lack of cohesiveness between the paragraph presentations for the public opinion discussion. Being a senior at high school, I am trying to learn history well This explanation is not acceptable as a part of the concluding summary. This is a personal opinion presentation and therefore, should be the 3rd paragraph of the essay. This needs to be more properly and fully developed in order to receive a proper scoring consideration in relation to the public opinion paragraphs. The essay was concluded without the proper reverse paraphrase presentation. So the examiner will see this as an open ended essay. He will score down the task accuracy of this essay, leading to a failing score based on 2 reasons: 1. The inclusion of an irrelevant reference leading to a topic deviation in the prompt paraphrase 2. The lack of a proper summarized discussion point presentation and topic restatement in the concluding summary These are but a few of several errors in this presentation in relation to the scoring considerations that could hinder the ability of the writer to reach an overall passing score consideration.

## Tiktok evaluation In recent years, Tiktok has become a viral social media application that attracts many people to use, especially adolescents. While this trend would create considerable benefits, there will be certain drawbacks that need to be considered. On the one hand, young people can have a relaxing time and learn much from Tiktok without consuming much time. This platform allows users to watch short and funny videos from many places in the world with various content, which helps them relieve stress and pressure from their studying. Furthermore, there are many channels for education or soft skills that young people can benefit from. Another advantage that Tiktok brings to users is making income from this popular application. Specifically, the youth can earn money from the content they create on Tiktok, which is a great way to help them become financially independent and offer them an opportunity to become potential content creators. On the other hand, watching Tiktok uncontrollably affects adolescents' behavior. Due to different content from Tiktok, users may watch certain offensive and unsuitable ones. As a result, they can imitate the way people act on Tiktok wrongly, such as cyberbullying their friends or behaving toward their parents inappropriately. Moreover, as other social media applications, spending much time watching Tiktok has a negative impact on adolescents' health. They might strain their eyes in front of the phone's screen for hours and become inactive in physical activities. Thus, this may cause many related diseases such as obesity or near-sightedness. In conclusion, although there are certain downsides along with the upsides of this trend, young people should be encouraged to manage their time spent on using Tiktok to take the greatest advantage of this social media application.

The examiner may not consider this essay as properly developed and discussed as the advantage and disadvantage paragraphs were not cohesively developed. As the writer knows, part of the scoring rubic is the cohesiveness and coherence of the paragraph. When discussing an A v. D prompt, this means that the 2 paragraphs need to connect based on previously stated reasons. Each paragraph should clearly explain first, why an opinion is an advantage then second, why it is actually a disadvantage. The prompt requires proper subject and analysis development in order to score based on advanced writing skills. The current presentation will receive a passing score, but cannot score based on advanced considerations due to the lack of connection between the topic presentations. While the analysis is acceptable, it is not fully and properly developed based on full scoring considerations. The writer also misuses the apostrophe in the presentation. This seems to be a common error among ESL students. They misplace the apostrophe, creating an ownership format when he was trying to indicate a plural word form. It will help if the student continues to improve his grammar rules knowledge to avoid deductions in that scoring section. Further problems occurred in the score because the summary conclusion offers a solution suggestion. This is not a required part of the discussion and will result in a severe TA score deduction. The essay could potentially be given a failing score since the essay is now seen as not having a properly formatted concluding statement. Saying "In conclusion" without actually concluding the essay in the required format does not create an acceptable and scorable conclusion.

Please correct my writing. Thank you so much! ## the data on imported seafood The charts and table paint an overall picture of the value of seafood imported to the UK and the percentages of the imports from three countries over a twenty-year period. Overall, while Polish imports dramatically diminished from 1987 to 2007, the importation of seafood from Germany and Sweden sharply increased. Also, imports to the UK nearly doubled in those 20 years. Whereas imports from Poland in 1987 were nearly double the combined imports from Germany and Sweden, they had dwindled to 30% of the total by 2007. Conversely, German seafood imports increased four-fold by 1997, although after that, the rise over the next ten years was minimal. Similarly, the tonnage of seafood coming from Sweden into the UK increased substantially from 28% in 1987 to 43% in 2007. In terms of the value of seafood imports, it climbed from $7.4 million in 1987 to nearly double in 2007. *

The essay appears to be 2 words short of the 150 minimum presentation. So there will be word count percentage deductions for the missing words. Yes, it is going to be a minimal deduction but, still a deduction which should be avoided as much as possible. Make sure that the minimum count will be met. What I suggest that the students do during the practive test is to make sure that they write 5 lines of words / sentences. That way there will not be a need to keep track of the word count. Learning to judge the word count by visual presentation will help a lot towards avoiding the word count deductions. Images always contain highlightable information that need to be presented in the summary paragraph. In this instance, the incomplete summary overview was the reason why the word count minimum was not met. The listing of required information was lacking in the paragraph. This is necessary for the proper short report form requirement for the task. The additional problem point for this essay is the last paragraph that does not contain completely developed information. It is unacceptable in this essay to present only a single sentence. That does not qualify as a complete paragraph. A complete paragraph in the task 1 and 2 essay should always be composed of 3-5 sentences.

## Impact of Music on Society Music has numerous impacts in our daily life. It is not only to help people relax after working times or convey the cultures to different places, but it is also a suitable method of connecting people of many ages and areas together. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the given statement, and this essay will discuss the reasons why and elaborate upon them with many supporting ideas. To begin with, music can transfer the characteristics of that country. For example, Vietnam has many national instruments like monochord. When some composers are inspired by them and use them to create the beat and perform the songs on social media or on stage, it can get attention from the audiences. After watching the performance and being attracted, the audiences may look for information about the songs, and the birth of the instrument, and they can learn how to use this. In addition, in many music videos, artists also use many spectacular scenes, the national clothes. For an instant, Hoang Thuy Linh always uses these things in her music videos, and a lot of foreign people love this. They are interested in her talents, her beautiful voice, and the beauty of her culture. The second main point is that music can help people of many ages connect. Many well-known bands such as Westlife, and One Direction, or singers like Michale Jackson have several songs that all generations can enjoy. Family members like parents and children can share their feelings about the songs. Furthermore, the adults also tell the young the experience or stories that the songs contain like war, love, and life's experiences. Besides, adults may listen to music for the young because of many reasons such as the songs are catchy, or they want to have the topic to communicate with the children. On the whole, music has numerous advantages for society. Not only it helps people to know the diverse culture, but also brings people together.

The topic is not a restatement but an opinion presentation of the writer which is not the expected interpretation for the given topic. As such, the topic rephrasing will receive a failing consideration. The writer must avoid immediately discussing his opinion in the first paragraph as that is a content and format specific paragraph which establishes the foundational score of the essay. This presentation misses on that mark. The writer's opinion presentation is incomplete because he did offer a measured response, but failed to summarize his reasons for his opinion. The clarity of his opinion will also be scored based upon his summarized reasoning presentation and its relevance to the discussion + his opinion. As for the reasoning paragraphs, I would have to say that these are solidly presented and uses relatable examples to support its explanation. There is no problem with the relevance of the examples and the validity of the explanations. The writer uses simple English words that, since these are properly used in the sentence, created understandable sentence structures that allow for easy understanding of the text. These are definitely C+C increasing considerations although the actual mix of various sentence types will be considered missing to a partial extent. When it comes to the concluding summary, there is a problem with the presentation because it does not meet the reverse paraphrase requirements of the presentation. In fact, it offers a prompt deviation that will negatively affect the final score of the presentation.

## Is the Internet "Making Us Stupid"? ***Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.** Write at least 250 words.* Nowadays, it is possible for people to go out without cellphones. The internet makes our life easier and more convenient in every simple task, such as finding ways, reserving a table and even seeing a doctor. That is, people rely on their smartphones to solve most of the problems in living than in the past days. It is obvious that the internet makes us smarter but also degrades our independent thinking in the long term. The curiosity is decreased by the online packaged information, when people are getting used to looking for the answer on the searching engine website. It is common that all we need information can be found on the internet, with the anonymous author, social media or business campaigns; however, it doesn't mean those contents are correct. By knowing these information with a simple click on the phone, it is efficient and fast to learn but no one will spend time solving the real problems simultaneously. That is, the process of finding solutions may be ignored. Although the internet provides accessible information, it actually harms the brainstorming process. Misleading information leads to the crisis of critical thinking in every aspect of life. Everyone knows the online resource varies thoughts in our minds; nevertheless the exposure of messages changes our conception and norms. For instance, the news of the election for city mayors in 2018, the candidate of Taipei city mayor used strategies on social media to win the support of the young generation. In that period of time, people see all the advertising, policy discussion and videos covered with hopeful impressions, gradually lose their own viewpoints. The internet accelerated the message spreading and leads to a kind of brainwashing easily than the traditional marketing method. Therefore the misleading messages online makes people have difficulties in distinguish the accuracy and ambiguity, the influential impression planted in our mind become stereotype in the future. In conclusion, the disadvantage of the internet outweighs the benefits for our human intelligence. While people have no interests in finding new ideas in life, it is hard to say the society can be improved in the near future. Also, the media exposure conveys the phenomenon of whether the audience needs to choose information or not by critical thinking.

The writer has shown that there was no double checking of the information written prior to the submission of this essay for grading. The prompt restatement paragraph and writer's opinion presentation are conflicting and therefore, confuses the examiener as to what the real opinion of the writer is. For specificity, refer to the following sections of the aforementioned text: it is possible for people to go out without cellphones. people rely on their smartphones This is the conflict of interest that immediately creates a failing TA score and GRA score. How can it be possible for people to not bring their phones with them and yet, rely on their cellphones? See the problem in the discussion presentation? The essay has already failed the most important pre-scoring aspects at this point that will prevent this essay from receiving a passing score.

## co2 emissions per person The line graph illustrates the average amount of carbon dioxide each person emitted in 4 European countries during a 40-year period from 1967. Overall, whereas the figure of the UK took the first place despite having dropped, that of Portugal was opposite. As can be seen from the chart, the mass of carbon dioxide emitted in Italy started the period at about 4 tonnes and continuously grew in the next 3 decades. In 1990 it peaked at nearly 8 tonnes and remained stable until the end of the period. Similarly, the figure of Portugal went up steadily by over 4 tonnes until 1997 and leveled off at over 5 tonnes during the last 10 years. Despite this marked growth, it took the last place in the end. However, carbon emissions in both the United Kingdom and Sweden followed downward patterns. In spite of a consistent decline from 11 tonnes to 9 tonnes, residents in the former country still emitted the most carbon dioxide in 2007. Meanwhile, although in the first 10 years there was an increase of more than 1 tonne, this figure of the latter country considerably fell during the next decade and hit the bottom of around 5 tonnes, the same ending point as Portugal. *

The acemmary overview takes too many information shortcuts that it led to an uninformative presentation. Never leave out the specific years or dates of mention, always include a listing of the information for comparison, and provide the measurement type and basis. These are all necessary for the proper understanding of the trending statement on the part of the reader. A complete summary effectively completes the report as a rundown, without the need to read the actual report hence the need to present a concise and coherent summary statement. The report should use more of the actual dates rather than alternatives in this case since the writer did not properly state the period of coverage in the summary, and he kept using alternate references in the report. It would be beat for him to focus on proper information dissemination in relation to LR usage.

***TOPIC*: *Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as those by attending a college or university in person. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree?*** That people demand different ways of learning has led to the growth of online courses. It is commonly believed by some that learning in person is better than online courses, I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons. There is no doubt that learning online has various barriers that lecturers could not handle. First and foremost, the duration of online courses might be interrupted due to error connections that result from weak internet accessibility or overloading accession. Thus, the disconnection might cause confusion and lead to time-consuming during the class. Apart from it, mentors might not be able to observe whether or not attendees are focused exclusively on the class since some students do other activities such as sleeping or eating behind cameras. As a result, learning effectively might be impossible in such online courses. Moreover, there are several obstacles that could not be solved directly during online classes. It is clear that some students might find it difficult to accumulate side skills along with practical knowledge in distance-learning because they could not interact with their peers face-to-face in order to gain personal abilities in teamwork, such as leadership or cooperating. Furthermore, the interaction between students and teachers is also limited in online courses since there might be thousands of attendees in the class and mentors could not respond immediately when there are questions from students. Therefore, it is considered to be an inconvenient learning approach. In conclusion, I strongly agree that online courses could not provide effective learning as the mainstream classes for the reasons of network interruptions and difficulties interacting with mentors and peers.

There is a bit of a problem in relation to the restatement of the given topic. It is indicated in the restatement that the students "demand" various ways of learning, a claim that is not supported by the original statement. Therefore, the rewording of the original topic is inaccurate and not task compliant. This will result in point deductions in the applicable section of the scoring rubic. Now, the response of the writer is acceptable but not really focused on the demands of the response question. The writer should notice that he refrained from using personal pronouns of any sort in this writing. While this acceptable for the general discussion, the scores for the C+C section would have been better had the writer used his personal knowledge, experience, or understanding of the topic. This is something best achieved using first person pronouns since the question clearly indicates the need for personal reference points by indicating "To what extent do YOU..." See the clue in the discussion question? Though not indicated, the writer should have used several personal aspects for this discussion based on the discussion reference point in the given question. It would have been highly acceptable and score boosting if he used personal examples in reference to the differing learning methods as well, leaning on his experience from the lockdown and the prior classroom instruction he received for his courses.

***1. Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate.*** ## What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? (250 - 300 words) My work: In the modern era, the dominant of network connected devices like smartphone, i-pad and laptop is a norm in every nations around the globe. Hence, many people praise the usefulness of the ability to communicate via the Internet that those devices enable them to. So, what would be the benefits of online communication? Are there any drawbacks? Personally, I reckon that there are both gains and handicaps when meeting via the Internet which I will explain further into the essay. First and foremost, communicating through the Internet allows the users to meet up with other anywhere and anytime. This is because of the ability of digital devices, enabling us to call or chat where the network is available. For instance, communicating via Internet has helped our community to thrive and combat contagious diseases like covid-19. Instead of working and meeting directly, people can earn their livelihoods and host meetings via the Internet. Moreover, having the capability of contacting anyone at any time can be a lifesaver in emergency. This stems from the fact that the smartphones have became everyone`s company in their daily life. Thus, calling for help is just one button away. For instance, in many situations like kidnapping, smuggling and so on, the mobile phone has been a great assistant to the police forces in the last decades. Nevertheless, every coins have two sides and so is the online communication. It is noticeable that contacting via the internet can never reach the full potential of direct meeting since it can cause misunderstanding, uncertainty and distrust. This is because of the absence of body language and the feeling of being connected to each other. For instance, it is more likely to cause an argument when chatting online rather than talking face to face. To conclude, communicating is a double-edged sword, it grants the users the convenient of communicating online and the capability of calling for help in dire cases. However, it can also cause hatred and misunderstanding when communicating online. I am going to have a test soon, thank for your help.

The writer failed to keep track of his word count. There is a reason the words are capped at 30O words for this writing. There is no time to write more than that word count if he is focused on reaching a passing score for each scoring section. There is also a distinct possibility that his essay will be cutoff by the system automatically at the 300 count. If the essay submitted does not have a proper conclusion, then it recieves a failing mark. Rhetoric has no place in the task 2 essay. The writer does not effectively create his discussion summary and their, fails to provide a clear task related opinion. Every question provided requires a summarized response in the first paragraph. What matters here is the writer's ability to deliver a succinct discussion. Do not show off just the LR aspect. That is why this is a failing test. The discussions only present ideas and examples. The actual idea development and explanation is what this essay falls short on. There are too many examples in the essay. All of which are unrelated to one another thus affecting the C+C score in the presentation. Though the word count is more than met, these did not translate into proper discussion paragraphs. Focus less on the vocabulary and more on proper and full explanation development.

***International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists.*** ## Do the advantage of increased tourism outweigh its advantage? The prices of traveling internationally have been decreasing greatly, resulting in more opportunities for tourists to travel everywhere. From my perspectives, this trend is rather beneficial than disastrous regarding several aspects. One evident drawback of inexpensive global tourism is more destruction to the environment. Specifically, tourism industry has already been considered to be the major cause of global warming, as it provokes the use of cars, buses and planes that employ non-renewable energy such petrol and release toxic fumes into the atmosphere. Furthermore, not every traveler has environmental awareness, since they believe that it is not their responsibility to protect the environment, leading to many places of interests around the world being covered in trash. Therefore, based on the two reasons above, I claim that the environment will be harshly ruined due ti the rise in tourism. Notwithstanding, I am of opinion that the growth in tourism gives plentiful benefits to people. First, the employment rates will rapidly skyrocket as more tourism-related jobs such as pilots, tour guides and flight attendants will be increasingly demanded. Second, the locals will intensely benefit from this, because they can open family-owned restaurants or hotels providing services, which affects them positively financially. Finally, the visitors themselves, especially the young, will be able to travel exclusively and frequently without worrying about the costs. They will have the chance to explore the wonders of the world as well as witness various countries' traditions and culture in practice. Hence, the experiences they obtain during the journeys will make them knowledgeable. In conclusion, although the decrease in the costs of global touri is unfavorable, it is overshadowed by the strength humans get.

The writer has taken an incorrect approach to the discussion. This is actually a comparison essay based upon the discussion question provided. That means the writer should be discussing both the advantage and disadvantage in each of the two reasoning paragraphs. The writer should disprove that the perceived disastrous result actually has potential, misunderstood, or unconsidered benefits. For every disadvantage presented, it should have an alternate believable advantage presentation. That is what the writing instruction is all about and that is what should be presented in the paragraphs. The current presentation lacks the aforementioned cohesive presentation as required by the prompt. The writer should spend more time on analyzing what the question is actually asking him to write about so that he can use the higher scoring writing format.

***It has been said that people who read for pleasure have more developed imaginations and language skills than people who prefer to watch TV.*** Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words and include any relevant example. MY ESSAY: It has been argued that reading for pleasure can increase people's imagination as well as language skills more than watching TV. I personally disagree with this point of view and support the opposite side when watching TV could be better in this case. To commence with, watching TV is a better way of boosting one's imagination than reading for pleasure. When watching TV, we could observe numerous vivid animated pictures, which helps us explore more of the world around human life. Meanwhile, reading could not provide us with a wide range of pictures and especially no lively sound. For instance, some experts have stated that children should be encouraged to watch programs on the animal world or colorful cartoons in order to stimulate their sense of imagination. In addition, while it is acceptable that reading can be beneficial to improving language skills, I am convinced that watching TV could bring more advantages. Nowadays, the more learning foreign languages become everyone's need, the more active people become in finding the best methods to learn these language skills and most of them opt for learning through programs on TV. People tend to be more attracted to lectures about foreign languages on TV than lessons or funny stories in books. For example, one can develop listening and speaking skills through music programs or hilarious conversations on TV. In conclusion, while both reading for pleasure and watching TV can be advantageous to improving the sense of imagination and language skills, I firmly believe that we ought to watch TV more often so as to gain more developed imagination as well as linguistic abilities. (266 words)

The writer has not correctly represented the idea for discussion. A topic was presented as a discussion point, not an argument point. There is no debate present since an opposing opinion was not presented. Rather the student is being asked to present an opinion based on the idea presentation. So there is a slight misrepresentation of the original topic presentation. When it comes to the writer's opinion, a correct format for the response was used, but it was still missing in terms of completeness as there is no summarized reason backing up the personal opinion. The summarized reasons would have solidly laid the foundation for the following discussion paragraphs and also, helped to increase the clarity of the writer, thus adding to his coherence and cohesiveness score for that paragraph. Had these information been properly included, the writer would have been off to a high preliminary score consideration. While the reasoning for imagination is well developed and believable, the part about language skills development is incorrect or not well developed. The reference to learning languages was good. However, the fact that closed captioning, the main reason why television is more effective in teaching languages, than merely reading translations. A more convincing explanation could have been developed. The writer should have also used some personal reference points or examples in the presentation since this is a personal opinion based essay. The examples and discussion points are given extra scoring consideration when the writer can connect his personal experience and knowledge in the discussion paragraphs. Yes, first person pronoun usage is encouraged in these prompt types. While the discussion development is uneven in this presentation, it does not erase the fact that there are lesser mistakes made in terms of scoring considerations this time around. The explanation is also developed in a good manner, but, like I said, could have been been better presented later on. I believe the exam taker stands the chance of getting an average passing score eith this opinion paper.

## The annual rice production of 4 countries The bar chart compares four different countries in terms of the amount of rice produced annually in 2005, 2010 and 2015. It is noticeable that the rice production of country A and B overtook that of country C and D by a wide margin. In general, while there was an increase trend in the output of rice in three out of four countries between 2005 and 2015, the figure for country C remained gradually the same. In 2005, the productivity of rice of the country A was 45 million tonnes, compared to nearly 26 million tonnes of the country B. However, the total outputs of rice in B rose significantly to 43 million tonnes and closely caught up the productivity of A, at 47 million tonnes. The amount of rice per year produced by A kept the same trend and went up to 50 million tonnes in 2015. The figure for the country B bucked the trend with seven million tonnes decrease. By contrast, the rice industry of the country C and D were considerably lower than other countries, with 5 million tonnes and 2 million tonnes respectively in 2005. By 2015, the amount of rice production of the country C and D shared comparable figures, with 5 million tonnes each. *

While the essay can still be completed using lesser words, the writer did a pretty good job of completing the task in an understandable manner. I would like to commend the writer for doing a very good job in creating the summary overview + trending statement paragraph as well. It was concise and truly informative for a reader to scan. That said, I have to comment though on the way that the reporting paragraphs were created. He seemed to focus his information and comparison presentation only on 2005 and 2015 data. He appears to have overlooked the 2010 information from the graph for some reason? Why did that happen? It is important for the writer to remember that all 3 years must be represented in the reporting paragraphs since these were also indicated in the actual image and overview information. It should have been mentioned in some way or manner within the reporting paragraphs as well.

## It has been said that: ''Not all learning takes place in the classroom''. ***Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience and with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?*** People often say that not all knowledge is gained from learning in the classroom but also can be derived from personal experience . In my perspective , although both have their own pros and cons , knowledge obtained from experience still seems to be more important . On the one hand , joining lectures helps us know about academic knowledge of every aspects . These knowledges are actually the products of many experimentions and reasonings passed down from previous generations that is often hard to be fully acknowledged just via studying in classes . Besides , school's lessons orient ourselves in terms of learning direction and also lead us to comprehend the essence of things due to its in-depth theoretics . On the other hand , learning from experiencing personally is indispensable to every learners . To be more specific , it is considered primary for people to achieve their goals in the future , though graduating from school is the basis of having a job , it is still their experience that helps them in properly dealing with many situations in real life . Therefore , people get less confused when facing with those cases compared with those who just learn in the classrooms . Moreover , it is personal experience that enables people to have a clearest vision and picture of things gained from theoretical classes . To sum up , to be truly knowledgeable , people must acquire knowledge from both actual life and school instruction . However , they need to apply their knowledge by practicing more and more in real life cases .

The writer missed the point of the discussion. While his perspective tries to covers the general assessment or public perception of the given discussion point, he neglected to reflect on his personal experience as required by the discussion instruction. If he reviews the writing instruction, a clear reference to his personal perspective, based on personal experience can be found in the statement: Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience The reference point is basically asking: "How do you learn best as a person? Are you academic or life experience based by nature?" This is a personal assessment based discussion. That is what the writer missed out on representing in the discussion. Aside from that missed point, the writer also did not do a good enough job of restating the given topic. It is so close to the original statement that it will definitely be scored based on cut and paste or memorized writing, which not be good for his TA score.

## film industry profits The shown line chart demonstrates how much money the film industry made by selling cinema tickets and DVDs in the USA and abroad between 2001 and 2010. It can be seen clearly that the income from international cinema tickets and DVDs had a very stable growth while the income in the USA didn't change much. The earnings of the film industry abroad from the two sources were very similar in terms of growth. In 2001, International DVD sales were just around 11 billion whereas the revenue from cinema tickets was approximately 20 billion dollars. They (DVD and cinema ticket sales) rose by over 8 billion dollars by 2004, respectively, to 18,5 billion and 28 billion. After that, they reduced by 2 billion dollars in 2005 but then gradually increased by almost the same earnings. In 2010, the income from international DVD and cinema ticket sales was 23 billion and 33 billion dollars, respectively. On the other hand, we couldn't see any significant changes in the revenue the film industry in the USA got. In 2001, income from North American DVD sales had an impressive growth to 25 billion dollars in 2004 but then reduced gradually to 18 billion dollars in 2010. The most special is the earnings from cinema tickets. From 2001 to 2010, they just fluctuated around 10 billion dollars.

The essay is overwritten and does not follow the maximum 200 word compliance for the reporting essay. While it is possible to write more words within 20 minutes, that does not assure that one will be providing the proper scoring considerations for this test. Remember that this is not a vocabulary exercise alone but a test of English comprehension and restatement in short form. Hence the maximum word count for the time limit. Keep it short but properly informative. Do not get into the habit of creating a separate short sentence for the trending statement. The trending statement works best when smoothly integrated into the summary overview. It helps the paragraph meet the 3 sentence minimum requirement and also, helps provide a more concise summary of information that boosts the coherence score for the paragraph. While the sentences are not always structurally correct, these do not come across as confusing to the reader so while deductions will be applied, it will not be the failing rubic type of score. I should also point out that the writer is expected to remain neutral when writing this report so he should not use any sort of pronoun reference in the essay. That will be a point of deduction as well.

I am a returning student, and I haven't written in years. English is also my second language. I appreciate it if someone can give me some feedback and advice. ## The summary should be 100-300 words. My summary: The article "Obesity Can Trim 10 years Off Life" (2009) by Nanci Hellmich warns that obesity shortens life, and its effects rival those of smoking. Obesity causes heart disease and stroke which can reduce lifespan depending on whether an individual is overweight, obese or very obese; it ranges from a year for adults who are overweight to as much as 10 years for those who are very obese. The article presents a study reporting that a third of American adults are obese, and these same individuals are continually gaining weight. Finally, the article alerts that obesity is becoming a serious health concern and advises that we take actions now. Existing beliefs suggest that the obesity epidemic is caused by a combination of inactivity and excess calorie intake, but how much is each contributing to the problem? New research in the article "Too Many Calories Are to Blame For Obesity Surge, Not Lack of Exercise, Claim Scientists" (2009) by a Daily Mail reporter confidently suggests that excess calorie intake is more likely to be the cause of the rise in obesity than a lack of exercise. The study, conducted by Australian scientists at Deakin University, reveals that Americans may have been in fact increasing their amount of exercise over the past 30 years, yet the problem persists and expands. This implies that increasing physical activity as a solution is ineffective. The article concludes that existing and potential health policies should focus on reducing daily calorie intake. This is 245 words. Thank you.

The first article does not fully summarize the article effectively as it fails to present a clear idea of the basis of the information presented. What was the study that was used to create the basis of this presentation? Why should that source be believed? Why is it authoritative? The writer should not only focus on the content of the article, for both articles, he must represent the sources that make these information believable. In the second article, he fails to present the name of the writer, making the full article summary questionable. Both articles do not include the method by which the researches were completed and what pool of participants were involved. So the summary is incomplete and lacking in definitive information. Such summary writing can be expected of ESL students and those who were not educated in the UK or USA. This is not the type of summarized academic writing that will acceptable at any of the educational institutions of the aforementioned countries.

**Topic: *Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for the achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.* ## To what extent do you agree or disagree?** In the modern world where celebrity culture is pervasive and slowly becoming the norm in highly developed metropolitan areas, there is a phenomenon, decried by traditionalists as "superficial and harmful", that is "famous for being famous". In other words, this means the state of being well-known, sometimes internationally, not for one's accomplishments but for publicity stunts and associations with the celebrity world. Personally, I have a balanced and nuanced view on whether this has a negative influence on younger generations. First and foremost, being famous for one's glamour, wealth and personal connections might overemphasize the importance of one's outward appearance over inner strengths and talents. This can lead people astray as beauty fades and one's contributions to the society are what truly last and make an impact. Moreover, to always maintain a presentable exterior, portray a larger-than-life personality and lead a lavish lifestyle requires a lot of resources which are usually not sustainable and accessible to the aspiring youngsters. Therefore, the extra borrowing to cover the costs might plunge these individuals into financial and emotional distress. However, celebrity status, regardless of whether that comes from achievements or stunts, does confer benefits to holders of such status and is indicative of the greater, overarching society. It is common knowledge that viral Instagrammers or Hollywood socialites are now earning 6-figure amounts for each post on social media. In addition, the fame and social connections which follow, more often than not, compensate for the initial investments and bring long-term non-monetary benefits, such as finding a wealthy spouse or wielding political power. These unsaid and unwritten bonuses are also driving forces behind the celebrity culture in many economic, financial and cultural centers of the world today. In summary, I believe that the state of being a celebrity, even without personal excellence, provides tremendous benefits for status holders. This explains the current trend of "famous for being famous" that is prevalent across social media and global metropolises. *(Start: 9:34, end: 10:01, 4 October 2022, total time: 27 minutes, 324 words)* Cao Nguyên Cường Writer's note: I would greatly appreciate it if you could grade my writing and provide recommendations. Thanks.

Scoring is a private service that you will have to contact me for via the email address listed below. The essay will not receive a passing score anyway since the writer did not provide the required single opinion discussion a required. So scoring this essay individually, even in private will be a futile exercise. All because the writer misunderstood the prompt instruction and therefore, did not meet the task discussion requirements. The main reason for the failing score is simple, this is a single opinion essay, not a comparative one that allows for a nuanced and balance discussion presentation. The guide question is clear, pick one measured opinion side to discuss in the essay and explain why that opinion should be considered acceptable or correct. By setting up his own discussion question and personal response consideration, he changed the discussion topic, as well as the response requirement and therefore, no longer provided an applicable discussion format / presentation. When it is clear that the test taker did not understand what the writing requirement for the test is, the quickness by which he wrote the essay, the number of words that were used, even the vocabulary become moot. These will not help him pass the test for any reason.

## Factors when choosing a job The idea is that salary is the priority when people choose a job. In my opinion, salary is essential, however, there are some other factors that should be considered before applying for a job. On the one hand, people try their best to make more money to improve their personal life. the higher the salary they earn, the better living standard they have. With a satisfactory level of wages, employees can have enough money for regular payments such as house rent, car, gas, electricity invoice or luxury trips on vacations. Besides, salary is also a motivation for showing employee's better performance at work. People become more productive when employers give them perks or salary increase policies. On the other hand, besides salary, job consideration must consist of two other factors. Firstly, job satisfaction is very important when choosing a job. People doing jobs with high salaries but lack passion and pleasure are often easy under a lot of pressure. This may lead to serious problems with their physical and mental health in the long term. Secondly, people should consider the development opportunities they can get from their job. With high positions in the company, people can receive high salaries and attractive benefit packages which boost them to work harder to be better versions of themself. In conclusion, while I accept that salary is a must-have factor when people seek a job, I believe that others should be considered for getting ideal occupations.

The main reason that this essay will receive a failing score is that the writer delivered less than the required 250 words. At only 240+ words, there will be corresponding task accuracy percentage score deduction. These deductions will be applied to the pre-scoring section so the essay will start receiving scores for the other sections from a handicap. The essay will have to overcome the failing score it was already given which, based on the remaining errors that I see in this presentation, will not be insurmountable in the end. The expected discussion format was to be based on an extent response to the agree or disagree question. The writer did not provide the correct response to the question, which led to an incorrect overall discussion presentation as well. So these mistakes will show that the writer did not understand the discussion instructions. This will lead to an incorrect presentation which will result in a failing C+C score as well. So the only portion that the writer might get a passing score in are the LR and GRA sections. However, he did not do very well in those sections either so it will not help increase the score from failing either. It will be best for the writer to review the available examples for these discussion types that are available at this forum. Learn how to approach the essay properly based on lessons that can be learned from his personal mistakes and the mistakes of others. I find that students learn best that way. They get a better insight with regards to the essay discussion expectations and scoring considerations.

**Question:** ## Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. ***Do you think wealth the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?*** **Essay:** It is widely believe that the key criteria of success is money and property. Personally, I completely disagree with this statement since wealth is just a minor/ small part of the overall picture of success, and it should be measured by one's achievements and happiness. **To begin with**, there are considerable number of upper-class people gradually losing their inherent happiness. **In other words,** despite possessing materialistic things and huge wealth, those who take responsibility for dealing with a number of problem in their entrepreneurs could not spend time on taking care of their family. Recent marriage survey conducted in America has shown that over 40% of wealthy couples do not have a sense of happiness since the breadwinners rarely have dinner in their family, instead, they would have ones with their colleagues and partners due to the busy nature of work. **In the long run**, this would pose an invisible distance between family members, which is the main cause behind the blurs and rift of family relationship or even divorces **Besides,** there are several objective aspects for the consideration of one's success.**First and foremost**, success should be gauged through one's accomplishments and performance. **For example**, Bill Gates who is a worldwide well-known businessman, investor and philanthropist shared one of the biggest secrets for his success is his passion, diligence and inquisitiveness in work. This extraordinary person, as a result, has achieve the goal of high sales that he set out for his corporation.**Secondly**,happiness are crucial factor for a person seeking success since this reflect people's mental life. Granted, a businessman who always live in a state of unhappiness, depression, self-deception abd guiltiness could not enjoy the fruit of their labor and a comfortable life, and thus all of their efforts and success so far have been in vain. **Therefore,**in order to become successful, people first should look for their own happiness. In summary, while some maintain that the best measure of success is material wealth and belongings, however, I believe that achievements and happiness is by far the key criteria of success. From my perspective, upper-class people should make a contribution to the development of their nation instead of solely making profit for their company and themselves.

I completely disagree This is an incorrect response format. The answer provided is used for measured response questions. The writer should instead be offering a belief based response to the question. He also created an unrelated run-on sentence for his 2nd question response. the latter idea should have been the 3rd sentence in the presentation since it is the thesis presentation of the paragraph. A thesis statement is presented as a stand alone sentence within the related paragraph. inherent happiness Improper phrase usage. Inherent happiness refers to happiness that is inherited. The writer does not understand how to properly use this elementary word reference properly. It has disconnected the rest of the discussion from his topic sentence. This is definitely an LR and GRA score reducing error. While the writer does show a knowledge of how to properly use connecting words and linking words, his discussions do not always come across as clear and cohesive in the paragraph. This situation will keep on resulting in lower than expected scores. There is no need to over emphasize the fact that he is using connecting, linking, and transition words in his presentation because the scores that will help him pass the test are not based on that grammar usage consideration alone.

## school-leavers life adaptation There are a plethora of people believe that it is vital for the young people, who left school to find a job, have their social knowledge and the capability to adjust with the developing world. I strongly support this opinion for these facts: To begin with, having knowledge about social issues can help you to be an excellent applicant. When a company recruits a person to apply for a position, they always find the one accumulating as much social knowledge as they could. To that end, they can easily solve the company's problems. Another pertinent point, the capability to adjust with the developing world can assist you to make all people meeting you in new companies have a good impression on you. Adjusting and socializing with your co-workers quickly when you have just entered the workplace will make your fellowships are willing to help you with your difficulties in the beginning. Last but not least, if you have aquadate knowledge that you need for your job and adapting as fast as you can, you will not be under pressure with workloads anymore. Adapting fast help you find the job is gripping and not boring in the first process. Duties that you are in charge of are easily dealt once you have a wide range of knowledge. In conclusion, it is crucial for the young people, who are school-leavers, to have their social knowledge and the capability to adjust with the developing world. Therefore, It can assist them to be successful in their career path. Thank you so much for helping me

Colon use in this essay is a problem. The writer used it in a paragraph without including related clauses are required for its proper use. There are no independent clauses presented nor is there a second clause that needs linking to the first clause. Therefore, the writer will be marked down severely in terms of GRA considerations. The lack of proper writer opinion presentation left the paragraph without a clearly developed summarized opinion presentation. That is an error that will result in a reduced TA score due to lack of opinion clarity, caused by an improper sentence structure. A general pronoun reference should be used in these discussion essays since the writer is not being asked to represent a personal opinion, just a general consideration. As such, third person group pronouns would be better used in this essay, if at all. It is actually possible to write this essay without the use of pronouns in the presentation. This is a 4 paragraph, rather than 5 paragraph essay format. Therefore, the writer has over stated his facts instead of strengthening his score by fully developing and explaining his 2 vital and connected reasons. The cohesiveness of the discussion points are actually lost due to the lack of connected reasoning considerations. Both the social knowledge and change adaptability need to be continously referenced in both paragraphs through connected ideas.

***In education and employment, some people work harder than others.*** ## Why do some people work harder? Due to some reasons, barely any individuals like to put forth additional attempts at their establishments and working environments when contrasted with their friends. This essay will outline the cause. Moreover, from my perspective, this trend brings them a wide range of demerits. That working more harder is attributed to numerous reasons. First of all, a breathtaking career in future is the major motivator that drive them to outperform in their enviroment. For examble, in education, a high ability- degree is always an exceptional outcome which they archieved after not only a ponderous but also long progress, thus, they will be high rately employed in a well-known corparation. For employment, hardworking staffs simply are promoted to a higher position. Sencondly, in case of education, understudies are urged to invest additional amounts of energy into their educational plan. Since teachers are bound to see the value in such splendid kids, who have passing marks. By best performents, they are tent to have a well-point by instructors. In this way, really buckling down can give critical compensations to exceptionally energetic individuals. Continuing on, while enterprising nature is considered as a recipe that prompts achievement, exhaust could have adverse results. Outworking can lead to unwanted consequence such as inorgintg social activities. Especially, they can face some health problems as conspicuous as obesity, exhausted due to their duration they sit without movement or doing too much. Finally, that everyone all thinks that working hard is the only way that help them have opportunities to promote is a wrong concern in the age that almost evething can buy and do by pay money or relationship, therefore, it is a disadvantage for who try hard to archieve their wishes regardless of how industriousness they are. Taking everything into account, albeit difficult work can be helpful to have better review and fruitful profession, not every one of the outcomes of its have been positive.

The first paragraph does not focus on a proper restatement of the original topic. It fails to outline the response reasons as well. It does not establish a correct rewording and writer opinion that could be the basis of the English comprehension and preliminary response skills of the student in that paragraph. Reasons used in the essay tend to range from irrelevant to relevant. Since the reference phrase in the essay is "work harder", then the connotation is that it refers to a professional aspect of life rather than educational. Though both reasons are acceptable for the discussion, the paragraphs tend to be confusing and difficult to connect with one another since the topics covered diverge in the presentation and the writer makes no effort to connect the 2 in the consideration. A focus only on the reasons have been provided. The consideration as to whether is a good or bad thing is not effectively developed in the presentation. While several reasons as provided, these are not supported by discussion sentences that prove the point. So the paragraph does not come across as well thought out and developed. It is difficult to say that this essay will get a passing score consideration. Aside from the problems above, there is also the problem when it comes to the way he forms his sentences. While he has some useful English vocabulary, the way he uses his existing knowledge creates confusing idea presentations that make it difficult for the reader to understand what he is trying to convey. The ideas and presentation are often disconnected due to the grammar problem and leaves the reader confused about the overall presentation. The writer should focus on developing his English vocabulary and sentence writing skills before proceeding with his practice essays.

**Task 2: In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?** ## paper books vs reading on online platforms With the advent of technology, almost everything these days is available online including books. It is stated that paper editions will no longer be in anyone's interest assuming that people will have free access to any reading source in the future. From my perspective, although online papers do wonders to the reading market, I firmly believe that there are several unique features of paper books that cannot be replaced. On the one hand, the emergence of e-books or any sorts of online reading saves a great deal of time, space and money to read. To commence with, when read online, no cost is required for paper production, manufacturing and delivery services. Therefore, reading online helps save readers' money for these processes, not to mention the effects towards the environment by not exploiting wood and using fossil fuels for production and shipping. Another rationale proving that reading online is a great invention is that people can literally read almost anywhere they want owing to the portable size of technological devices used for online reading. Instead of carrying kilograms of paper books or magazines to schools, libraries and so on, online readers can update the news or read their unfinished novel on their screens. This enables them to read even on the bus, train or in the park without having to carry a thousand-page book in their hands. On the other hand, great as online reading may be, printed editions cannot be altered due to the sense it brings to a great many people and its impacts on human's vision compared to online reading. The first key factor is that a multitude of readers prefer buying books not only because they collect the pieces they have read for fun or that they want to see their progress but they also enjoy the paper's smell and the realistic feel of touching the books. To exemplify, a great many people find it harder to concentrate on reading online since they are not used to scrolling the screen to keep track of their reading as well as that they prefer the woody scent of paper, which excites them whenever they purchase a new book. Moreover, for some people, blue lights from screens can make their eyes tired more quickly than when they use paper, resulting in common eye diseases such as short-sighted or dry eyes. To encapsulate, although reading on online platforms is beneficial in some ways, paper books still have irreplaceable impact on many readers.

The essay properly responded to the discussion question. It created a very strong restatement and personal opinion. The personal opinion is based strongly on the writer's discussion ideas that the examiner would have expected to read about in the discussion paragraphs. However, the writer failed to defend his opinion based on measured responses in the discussion format. The strong single opinion train was derailed by the comaparative discussion presentation that succeeded it. Now, a comparative discussion would have been a great way to discuss this essay if the presentation paragraph worked hard to use the opposing reason to strengthen the writer's opinion. For instance. He could have said: While I agree that... I have to strongly disagree with this belief to the extent that.... In addition, when people say... they fail to consider... Hence I solidly disapprove of this point of view because.... By using the aforementioned manner, a proper measured response discussion is presented. The important aspect of this discussion is to disprove a public opinion that the writer agrees with, but not totally for some reason. That way the essay single opinion based and supportive of the thesis opinion / statement. He seems to have also forgotten that the summary conclusion needs to be represented in at least 2 sentences. The current presentation does not meet the correct reverse paraphrase requirements for the conclusion. So it will not help his TA score in the end.

## Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or an organization. *Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.* MY ESSAY: These days, more and more people have a propensity to be self-employed instead of being employees of any corporations or organizations. There are several possible reasons for this case and we cannot deny some certain drawbacks of this development. To commence with, there have been a number of reasons for people choosing to have their own business. Firstly, people nowadays are getting more and more initiative, thus they do not want to be followers but leaders. Since being self-employed can give these individuals chances to take the initiative, they opt for building up their businesses and becoming owners. Take the example of my uncle, after having been turned down several times for a position in a company that he applied to, he went for building up a company of his own and his enterprise made a great success. Second, many people especially the young would prefer to challenge themselves by becoming freelancers in many facets of work. It is undeniable young persons could possibly perform their best potential when being independent in their work. Nevertheless, this trend could bring people unexpected disadvantages. To begin with, if one does not have enough necessary to be self-employed and keeps moving on with this path, they could be more prone to failure. Some latest published research has shown that a high rate of young people's own businesses went bankrupt due to lack of experience. Additionally, in order to be self-employed, one needs to have a stable financial basement in advance, thus people need to be well-prepared for this decision, which requires a lot of time. In conclusion, the tendency to be initiative and to experience challenges in work prompt people to be self-employed. However, this development can bring people some drawbacks about unwanted failure and expose them to the financial burden. (299 words)

The writer has a bad habit of over extending his paragraphs by regularly using sentence fillers for the first part of his paragraph presentation. This is a negative practice that, although it increases the word count, does not add substance to the actual content / meaning of the writer. Due to time constraints, it is better that the writer focuses all of his energy in the proper development of his ideas, rather than beating around the bush. In the second paragraph, he not only uses useless sentence fillers, but he also created an underdeveloped 2nd reasoning in the presentation. The latter causing deductions in the C+C score of the paragraph. Had he not wasted time introducing the paragraph twice, he could have better developed and connected his second reason fo the first reason in the paragraph. This is a situation that was repeated in the third paragraph due to the same reasons. His preliminary TA score will also suffer since he did not offer a summary of discussion points / thesis statement in the first paragraph. The direct responses to the questions would have been used to score his opinion accuracy and relevance to the discussion. Basically, the writer wrote a lot of words, but failed to perform as the task scoring requirements expected him to. As such, I do not have much confidence that this type of writing will earn him a good overall, final score in an actual test.

**TOPIC: ## Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. *Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or negative development?*** Whether chi is a controversial topic nowadays. Despite the various benefits of smartphones in the modern world, there are many drawbacks to overusing these electronic items. The primary disadvantage of spending hours on smartphones every day is that it leads to many health problems. The green light from electrical devices can cause blurred-eye, which might become myopic. Children who suffer from these problems will have difficulties with their sight and other daily activities. In addition, entertainment facilities on phones including games or social media may considerably attract young users, who are easily affected. Consequently, a boy addicted to these pleasures will spend hours on the screen. His excessive screen time can lead to obesity as this child only want to use his phone without caring about exercising. Additionally, a long time of laziness might make this child prefers chatting to going out with his friends, which will be conducive to poor communication ability. This problem is also the main culprit of distraction in studying. Games or social media may affect the children's concentration on the lecture. To clarify, some students may use their smartphones instead of paying attention to the teacher. Furthermore, at home, they can use their phones for their purposes instead of reviewing the lesson without being noticed by their parents. Subsequently, they can only vividly understand the lectures, and their study performance might be negatively affected. In conclusion, although parents want to provide all the best for their children, they should consider giving them smartphones at an early age because of some drawbacks above. It is recommended that parents should be sure that their children can use their phones effectively before deciding that. P/s: Could you give me an advice, please? My aim is about 7.0 in writing.

This is a failing essay that will not receive a passing score based on one specific reason. The writer did not respond to the question based upon the given question and format. He changed the main discussion question leading to a total change in discussion slant. Therefore, the writer, who has an obsession with grammar perfection in his writing and when advising others, showed that he does not understand English instructions well enough to provide the correct response. Good GRA and LR scores are not going to help when the 2 main scoring considerations, TA and C + C have been given failing marks. The specific scoring error occurred here: OP: Do you think is a positive or negative development? R: there are many drawbacks to overusing these electronic items. A P or N discussion should never be interchanged with an A v. D essay due to differing discussion targets in the reasoning paragraphs. This is an error the writer have avoided had he written a proper thesis response and, if he had bothered to compare his response keywords to the original prior to submission. This is why the review and editing of the essay draft is important. This is the section that causes the failing score in the final tally. The discussion provided though written with acceptable grammar is unacceptable for the given original discussion. One can even compare the original topic against the interpretation to see the full failing score basis OT: Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Wl: Whether chi is a controversial topic nowadays. There are even more errors to point out in this essay but those would make the review too long. The main point is this, good grammar and knowing some of those rules are not enough to pass the test. English comprehension and proper writing instruction implementation matters the most. Respond incorrectly and the essay will not receive enough marks to reach a base passing score.

## Cambridge 12 Writing Test 1 Task 1 - Physical activities **The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** My essay The bar chart depicts the gender distribution of six different Australian age groups in 2010 for doing regular physical activity. Overall, it is clear that except the 15-to-24-year-olds, all the remaining groups played the same role, which is the women's figures were higher than the men's one. Not only that, three groups aged from 35 to 64 had the highest proportion. Looking at the graph more closely, one can be seen that the percentage of males in the youngest group was higher than the female, which was 52,8 percent and 47,7 percent respectively. The middle groups aged between 35 and 64 shared the same figures of women did regular physical activity that fluctuated in 53 percent. The men were 39,5 percent, 43,1 percent and 45,1 percent proportionately aged 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64. While the 25 to 34 age group had a markedly disparate proportion, the oldest ones had equal numbers. It was 42,2 and 48,9 percent for male and female figures in the younger age group and 46,7 and 47,1 for the elderly people. (185 words i guess ? (i use word to calculate) Please help me review my essay. I will take the exam next November and my aim for Writing is 5.5-6. *

Even though the word count was more than met with the writing, the incorrect format and missing reporting elements are what will hold back the score for this essay. The writer must make sure to meet not only the word count, but all of the required scoring elements to achieve his target score next time. Several problems can be seen in the summary overview. The first problem, is that the writer did not enumerate the age groups as a part of the notable information and yet, he quotes 2 of the 6 age divisions in the trending statement. That creates a disconnection in the summary presentation. His high and low statement should not refer to an in-between measurement either. That is irrelevant to the trending consideration. A better summary score can also be achieved if he uses specifics to identify the image type. For example, there are 2 types of bar charts: vertical and horizontal. By identifying the position of the bar graph, a more accurate mental reference can be created in the mind of the reader. The reporting paragraph is too compressed. This makes it difficult to follow and creates difficulty in separating the reporting information. For this type of 1 image reference, the writer should always use the 3 paragraph format: Summary overview + trending statement Reporting paragraph Analytical / comparative paragraph This is not a bad start. At least the writer shows enough of an English vocabulary to meet the word count. Now, if he can focus on the correct format and reporting requirements, he should achieve his passing score in the next practice essay.

## the process for recycling plastic bottles The given diagram interprets the cyclical procedure of reprocessing plastic bottles. Overall, there are nine stages involved in the process, commencing with the collection of unusable bottles and culminating with the completion of final products. In greater detail, the first step of the process is to use a garbage truck whose function is to gather all trash from bins and put into its depot. Subsequently, the bottles are transported to the recycling centre where they are carefully classified before being compressed into cubic blocks which are then crushed by two electric saws. At the same time, the blocks' shred falls into the tank under the two saws in order to rinse all the unusable dirt. As far as the remaining steps are concerned, the process fares with fabricating plastic pellets which are milled into powder. Afterwards, the pellets are heated for an appropriate duration prior to being converted into raw materials which are formed into plastic items or clothes before they are recycled again.

The writer has problems with word usage that tend to confuse the reader, affecting the GRA score of the presentation. The problem can first be seen when the writer refers to "saws" being used in the procedure, which is related to grinding. A saw will cut a product but not grind it. For grinding requirements a "grinder" is used. This is an incorrect hardware and procedure identifier that will confuse the reader. The equipment and procedure results are unrelated. Vocabulary issues definitely exist in the writing since the writer does not know what proper word to use in reference to a procedure in the diagram. The plastic is not "put into its depot" but rather "brought to / taken to the depot". He should better familiarize himself with English words and its meaning / proper usage in reference to sentence development. He is also using an apostrophe after the plural form of a word. Since the word is to be presented in plural form only and not in proprietarial form in the sentence, there is no need to place an apostrophe at the end of the given term. The writer shows an understanding of the procedure given to him for reporting on. However, he fails to properly convey the content to the reader in a manner that will be easy to understand due to his lack fo proper word usage and other grammar issues.

Please give some feedback about my writing. Thank you a lot! The table describes data about the percentage of children in two elementary schools who had educational issues in two years 2005 and 2015. Generally speaking, school A's students encountered more problems with education than students of school B, but the proportion of school A's students dropped significantly in 2015 compared to 2005. In 2005, we saw a huge gap between the percentage of two school's students with educational problems. Most noticeably in following instructions issues with 36% higher belong to school A, other problem areas such as concentration in lessons, verbal expression of ideas, listening skills, spelling, handwriting, and reading ability gap around 20 to 30 percent. The figures for 10 years later witnessed a dramatic decrease in the percentage of school A's students, except for two areas reading ability and handwriting which remained roughly the same. There was a moderate drop of 5% in the spelling area, and a substantial fall of around 15% in the remaining fields. The number of students in school B who struggled with educational issues remained nearly the same in 2015, except for two problems spelling and following instructions which doubled in the period shown. *

There is an error in the trending statement presentation. It is unequal in consideration seeing as how the writer referenced highs and lows for School A, but not for School B. This lack of balance creates an underdeveloped trending statement. It would be better to remove the School B reference or, create the same reference point for School B as well. Remember that the trend always signifies 2 areas of measurement, the high and the low. In this case, a reference to both schools, for some related or connected purpose would have been best. we saw Never use personal pronouns in a task 1 essay. This is a general reporting task that cannot contain any form of bias reporting. Hence the need to omit pronoun usage. Additionally, the assumption is that the reader cannot see the image and therefore, should not be asked to look at or, assume that the reader can see information coming from the image. The writer has a few sentence structure problems here and there but none that will cause a significant GRA deduction. The information written is still understandable to a native English speaker. That does not mean that he should not work on further improving his sentence formation skills though. The less errors he makes, the better his GRA score will be.

## the table and charts analysis **TOPIC: THE TABLE AND CHARTS BELOW GIVE INFORMATION ON THE POLICE BUDGET FOR 2017 AND 2018 IN ONE AREA OF BRITAIN. THE TABLE SHOWS WHERE THE MONEY CAME FROM AND THE CHARTS SHOW HOW IT WAS DISTRIBUTED.** The table illustrates sources of the Police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a Britain area, while the pie charts compare the disbursement of this budget. Overall, the total amount of money provided for the Police in 2018 was much more than it was in the previous year, and it was spent more on technology and less on salaries. To begin with, the National Government financed the Police by about 175.5m in 2017, which was less than about 178m in 2018. Similarly, the amount of tax provided for the Police budget in 2018 was 91.2m, which was much more than that in 2017 (approximately 102m). Although the money that came from other sources nearly remained stable, there were over 318m for the Police budget in 2018, in comparison with under 305m in 2017. On the other hand, the percentage of this budget spent on buildings and transport did not change in both years at 17 percent. Regarding the proportion of the Police fund, there was 8 percent in 2017 compared to 14 percent in 2018. On the contrary, there was more money disbursed for salaries for officers and staff at 75 percent in 2017 than under 70 percent in 2018.

The writer still has not shown an ability to create an informative report using less than 200 words. That will pose a problem for him in the actual test. He must learn to create less wordy reporting paragraphs so that his essay will fall within the 150-200 word count. Remember, there are only 20 minutes to write this test. Perhaps the writer should use a timer next time to help him write shorter reporting tasks. The summary overview does not offer a completely informative short form of important information for both images. Further lacking from both image summaries are the measurement formats used, which would help the reader remember why such measurement references are used in the reporting paragraphs. There is a lack of image differentiation when it comes to the reporting paragraphs. The writer should be conscious that the image types should be used as the anchor sentences for these paragraphs so that the reader knows which image type is being referred to when the measurement types used are the same.

***Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems?*** It is observed that the gap between rich and poor getting wider and wider, while the rich become wealthy, the needy living below poverty line. My essay will figure out potential problems trigger by this phenomenon before I suggest possible solutions to handle such a problematic issue. First, the rich-poor gap is the cause of the increase in social prejudice. A prime example, in some hospitals, the rich are always given priority for medical care first while the poor always have to wait. Second, the disparity between rich and poor also leads to the escalating rate of crime because needy people are deprived of daily necessities. There are several actions that could be taken to solve the problems. One of effective ways is cover basic needs for poor people because when the government can adapt daily necessities for the poor, their life will be stabilized, also crime rates will be reduced. Another measure which can be considered is create more job opportunities for impoverished people. This can improve their lives and bring long-term benefits, also boost the domestic economy. In conclusion, rich-poor gap may be the culprit of social prejudice and the escalating rate of crime. However, this is issue can be addressed by covering basic needs and creating more job opportunities for impoverished people.

It will be difficult for me to provide a proper assessment of the writer's opinion making abilities with this essay. That is because he has written only 215 words out of the expected 250 word minimum. In an actual test, he would have automatically received a failing score. Yes, he will be given scores for the other scoring considerations. However, deductions will be applied heavily to the word count requirement, resulting in an inability of the essay to receive a passing score. So the writer should be careful next time. Always write at least the minimum word count to make sure technical deductions are not applied. Please note that the prompt restatement + writer's opinion paragraph is missing the discussion basis for the succeeding paragraphs. Seeing as how this test considers the ability of the writer to create proper opinion papers, as he will be required to write during his academic stay in a foreign English speaking country, he must make sure to create convincing thesis statements using the guide questions as the foundation for a strongly written writer's opinion. Without direct responses to the guide questions, the writer's opinion requirement for this paragraph will not be met and the preliminary score for the paragraph will be based on an unclear or missing opinion presentation. Knowing what the writer was asked to write about is not going to earn points. Telling the reader what he will be writing about through the response to the problems and solutions questions will gain preliminary scores.

**Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion.** It is true that animal experiments are routinely used to develop new drugs and to test the safety of other products. Opinions are divided on whether we should ban this method because it is ethically wrong or we should continue using it as it brings benefits to humans . From my aspect, I agree with the latter only if the use of animal testing is controlled. On the one hand, there are ethical arguments against animal experimentation. To use a simple example, as laboratory mice may be given an illness so that we can measure the effectiveness of a new drug, they have to suffer physical pain and deprivation of water and food. Opponents of such research argue that humans have no right to subject animals to this kind of trauma and the lives of all creatures should be respected. Moreover, to implement animal testing, a large amount of money have to be expended on the facilities and human resources. As a result, the country's national finance is used to invest in these experiments and can not be used for other purposes, such as housing and education. On the other hand, it is undeniable that people are still rely on animal testing and until now, there has not been any reliable alternatives to this experiment. Those who argue that implementing animal experimentation is wrong may feel differently if a member of their own families needed medical treatment that is tested through the use of animals. In other words, the suffering of animals can be justified in the lives of humans in some cases. Personally, I agree with the banning of animal testing for non-medical products, but I think it is necessary evil for taking this test for new drugs and medical procedures. To sum up, people disagree with the use of animals on testing drugs for the reason that it is unjustified to the animals and costly. However, it is necessary to use this method for testing new necessary drugs and medical treatments, which can save many human's lives.

The main problem with this essay is how the writer misinterpreted the writing instructions provided in the writing guide sentence. It clearly says *"Discuss both points of view and give your opinion"*. What are the points of view? The 2 public opinions represented by the words Some people and others . These are words used alongside the public opinion and reason for each. The job of the writer at this point is to provide his analysis (opinion) of the strenght and validity of each opinion. Does he support it? Why? If he does not support it, why not? How does his opinion clash or support the public point of view? How valid is his opinion when compared with the public perception? These are the questions that each reasoning paragraph should provide. This is why pronoun differentiation is important in these sorts of discussion. The examiner needs to be clear that comparative discussions on differing and similar opinions are taking place in the paragraphs. Public v. Personal opinion explanations are needed. As of now, the general opinion provided responds only to the personal opinion aspect rather than the comparative considerations. There are no right or wrong opinions here, only the way the writer views the explanation for each point of view. In a sense, it is a general discussion of differening opinions with personal viewpoints provided for each. This is one time that a single opinion presentation is not warranted. The reasoning is uneven for the most part and that is why the reasoning will be seen as only being a representative of the writer's opinion. The comparison in the 2nd paragraph is not well presented and is what provides the lack of balance in the discussion presentation. The response format is not properly representative of the discussion requirements.

Hi everyone, hope someone can help me review my essay, thanks. --- Essay --- ## coffee and bananas sales The data show us the change in Fairtrade-labelled coffee sales between 1999 and 2004 include with the comparison of the figures in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden. In 1999, Switzerland already had 3 million of sales in Fairtrade-labelled coffee. It was double or triple than the other 4 countries. The UK got a better market in Fairtrade-labelled bananas. Which was 15 million euros. The rest of the countries got no more than 2 million in sales. In 2004, most of the countries had a dramatic market growth in both labelled bananas and coffee. The UK stood up the most which got more than 10 times growth in coffee sales and slightly more than 3 times sales compared to 1999s. Only Sweden and Belgium had different trends. Decline in bananas sales. Overall the market for both Fairtrade-labelled products experienced a significant increase. However, the countries' figures still had some differences. *

between This is a year on year comparison. It is not a successive comparative table presentation. This is inaccurate information that will lower the task accuracy score in terms of proper information dissemination. The summary overview could be more efficently presented with the correct division of sentences (avoidance of run on presentations), other data highlights, and the merging of the overview with the trending statement. The overall format of the presentation is based on memorized templates which do not properly reflect the writing abilities and sentence formatting know-how of the student. Since the student only wrote 150 words exactly, any deductions applied to the other scoring sections will immediately result in an overall failing score. A better writing assessment can only be conducted when at least 175 words are used in this presentation. It will also be better for the student to remember that a single image presentation is best reported and scored using a 3 paragraph presentation. The 4 paragraph presentation is only used when there are 2 or more images involved in the report. a 4 paragraph presentation for a single image reflects that the student is using memorized templates rather than actual personal insight and proper writing formats as taught to ESL students.

## weekly expenses of families in 1968 and 2018 The bar graph reveals data about the weekly expenses of families in one nation in the years 1968 and 2018. It is clear that food was the most indispensable demand in 1968, but leisure activities dominated the weekly income of families in 2018. The year 1968, people tended to spend most their weekly budget on food, which accounted for roughly 35%. This figure was over three times as much as those for the second highest expenditures, housing, clothing and footwear. The expenses of housing and clothing were both 10%. Household goods, personal goods, transport and leisure fees were around 8% to 9 %. The least expense was fuel and power at 6%. People of 2018 were more likely to allocate their weekly income to leisure interests, which accounted for approximately 24 %. Next, families paid for housing and food were about 19% and 17%, respectively. Transport of 2018 were more considerable than in 1968 at 14%. Household goods was 8%. The least allocations were fuel (4%), personal goods (4%) and clothing (5%).

but Incorrect use of a conjunction. This can only be used when the topics being discussed are connected in some way (either action or topic). Since these are 2 different subjects, a separate sentence presentation should have been used with a transitional phrase or word instead. Good work on the presentation though. The trend and summary were in the same paragraph showing a non-memorized writing approach. The problem though, is that it is still short by one sentence to meet the minimum requirement. This happened because of the incorrect conjunction usage. Next time, aim for 3 sentences minimum per paragraph. That can easily be achieved by using individual sentence references. highest expenditures, Incorrect punctuation use. This should have been marked with a colon to indicate the division of a sentence. Since an enumeration list followed rather than a connected discussion, a comma should not have been used. The grammar used is not perfect, but not confusing either. So the C+C score will have minimal deductions. However, the writer shows a problem with proper sentence structure, word usage, and punctuation mark applications. Therefore more marked deductions to the GRA score will be applied to this task.

## The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. MY ESSAY: The bar chart given presents data on how households in one particular nation spent their weekly income in the years 1968 and 2018. Overall, the way families in this country spent their weekly income changed significantly over the period shown. Most notably, although in 1968 most families' weekly income went into food, households spent most on housing and leisure in 2018. In 1968 weekly income of each family to buy food was at 35%, around three times higher than that on housing, clothing and footware. During this year, the proportion of weekly income spent on household goods, personal goods, transport, leisure and fuel never exceed 10%. In the next 50 years, the percentage of weekly income spent on food halved to around 17%, lower than housing and leisure which were about 18% and 22% respectively. The expenditure on personal goods, clothing and footware also fell heavily in 2018. Meanwhile, each household's weekly income proportion on fuel and power decreased slightly by 2% and this percentage for household goods did not vary during this period. (173 words) *

There are a few things that the exam taker can do to improve the scores for his summary overview paragraph. Firstly, he can stop using the memorized sentence format for the presentation to show that he has more advanced writing abilities. Rather than simply saying that there is "given data", he can instead format the sentence to indicate "comparisons of given information regarding both years". That sounds more original and complex in writing presentation than simply "presents data". He can also add the measurement instrument (percentage) to the summary to indicate that the comparative data was collated and analyzed using a specific method / formula. Since this is a single image, there is no need to spread out the information over 4 paragraphs. The student is consistently using placeholders as taught in books and schools to show how the thoughts should be separated. However, these formats do not follow the basic 3-5 sentence format of acceptable (academic) paragraphs. The summary and the overview should always be connected as connected information in a single paragraph, regardless of paragraph position. These 2 sections will be scored collectively based on its C+C and use of transition phrases / connecting words.

The charts illustrate the percentage of three different age groups in two countries Yemen and Italy in 2000 and the projections for 2050. Generally speaking, there was more percentage of young people in both countries in 2000 whereas more people getting older in 2050. In 2000, almost the whole population of Yemen consist of people under the age of 60 with 96.4%, and only 3.6% of the elder who has more than 60 years old. While in Italy, nearly one-fourth of the population (24.1%) is elder who has 60 years old plus and another three-fourths of Yemen is below the age of 60. In 2050, the Yemen population is predicted to increase in the group ages 15 to 59 years old, more than 60 years old, and decrease in the group age of under 15 years old with 57.3%, 5.7%, and 37.0 % respectively. Besides, there will be a significant rise in the proportion of Italy's population of the group age 60 years old plus from 24.1% to 42.3%, and a fall in the percentage of Italian who is below 60 years old. *

The writer should stop using the placement holder method of writing the summary overview + trending statement. He must practice writing using the individual sentence method that covers one topic per sentence while using proper connecting and transition words to connect all of his thoughts in one paragraph. This is not present in his current writing, a reason why his summary and trending presentations tend to be more on the confusing and difficult to track side of the essay. Next time, utilize the full 5 sentence allowance for the summary overview by using the combined writing method. When indicating the type of image, there should also be an indicator of the number of images. This is to help the reader develop a full and imaginable idea of how the reports might take place in the succeeding paragraphs. Never forget that the measurement method / indicator is an integral part of the summary presentation and should be presented alongside the age range index. He should also use specific image identifiers to create a more professional / academic presentation. Indicating that the images presented are only charts does not help the reader identify the image type, which is used to differentiate the information provided. By saying that pie charts are presented, the writer will achieve more clarity towards achieving the task accuracy requirements.

I would like to receive advices and grading from everyone to improve my ielts writing. My target is 7.5+. Thank you very much! **Task 2: *Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem, others believe that human beings are more important.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion. It is true that these days, many species of animals are on the verge of extinction. Thus, many people argue that both authorities and individuals should contribute to the conservation of these species. Meanwhile, there is also a widespread belief that priority should be given to human welfare. As far as I am concerned, I would argue with the statement that more resources need to be allocated to endangered species. On the one hand, it is incontrovertible that focusing on improving human welfare is of paramount importance. This is because the investment to achieve the conservation objectives is usually of a substantial and long-lasting scale. Meanwhile, the national and local authorities can utilize these abundant sources of money to provide funding for other necessary problems including preventing illiteracy or enhancing healthcare services. Furthermore, it would be also impossible to dictate to the residents to pay attention to something unrelated to them, especially for those who are on a tight budget, in which they have to shoulder an ever-growing financial burden. On the other hand, it is also noteworthy that the conservation of endangered species in the wild and the improvement of human welfare need to go hand-in-hand. This can be explained that some particular animals also play a crucial role in the maintenance of the ecosystem, which means that the their disappearance can potentially lead to several unprecedented consequences for the environment. For example, bees or butterflies are responsible for numerous agricultural output. Thus the decrement in the number of these animals can push the world to the edge of food or economical crisis. From the livelihood perspective, the promotion of wildlife conservation also efficaciously stimulates the availability of well-paid jobs for indigenous people. Besides, individuals should also play a part, by condemning all forms of animal slaughter and avoiding the consumption of wild animal products. In conclusion, I concur with the argument that wildlife conservation must not be separated from developing human welfare. Besides, the responsibility of saving endangered animals should be also shared by both government and residents.

There is no need to authenticate a statement that cannot be found in the orginal presentation. If this is a supporting statement for the writer's opinion, then it should be placed alongside that sentence. It currently exists as a scoring negative in terms of accuracy presentation. I cannot understand why the writer is constantly changing the discussion slant by constantly using corroborative words.These statements are totally unnecessary in a comparative opinion discussion. He will obviously not have a good C + C score since he cannot stick to the discussion instructions. This is a failing score essay based on the low to failing major scoring considerations. There are more issues with this presentation but these 2 are enough to highlight the task problems that will lead to a failing score, even without other scoring problems added. Fix there 2 problems first. Follow the discussion instructions. Use the comparative argument format.

## **DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND STATE YOUR OPINION** **Topic: Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others argue that happiness depends on other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion.** The definition of happiness is different depending on individuals. While there are some arguments that it is obviously related to achievement in the economy, I personally believe that happiness significantly relies on many other aspects of our lives. It is undeniable that money plays an important role in our lives as we need it for all our basic materialistic needs. People have to spend a particular amount of money on food and clothes shopping as well as on house rent, water, gas, and electricity bills every month. There are also many luxurious entertainment activities that involve money, like parties, travelling, eating out, and shopping for branded clothes, which are indispensable for a joyful life. With financial freedom, we can enjoy the freedom of freely doing and buying the things we want. The lack of money may, in some cases, cause desolation since people often have to carefully estimate how much money they are allowed to spend on what. Nevertheless, I still believe that happiness more likely comes from other people's insights, such as love, family, passion, and hobbies. In other words, if we pay more attention to things around us, we can easily catch up with happiness in many corners of our life. For example, for people in loving relationships, happiness can be as simple as staying or hanging out with their partners, or even simply seeing their cheerful smile. Besides, getting up every day with good health is also a prospect of happiness, and it leads to a productive life as we have a good state of physical and mental well-being to work and enjoy life. In conclusion, although economic success clearly contributes to the satisfaction of life, I do believe that true happiness, which cannot be bought by money, comes from meaningful values in our living experience. I really hope to receive the feedback for this essay! Thank you.

The definition This is a sentence that strays from the original presentation. Nowhere in the prompt is the writer asked to define what happiness is. That belongs to a different essay topic. By using this reference, and not rephrasing the original 2 point of view presentation, the writer has created a prompt deviation that will cause a scoring down of the preliminary TA score. So, regardless of the appropriate personal opinion, the TA score will not be a well scoring one. Use of a general and personal statement in the discussion paragraph does not meet the public V. personal opinion requirement. Scores cannot be provided properly for the GRA section due to the lack of pronoun usage (3rd person group and first person). The writing ability presented here is severely limited. The appropriate written debate format should have been used.

The map shows the transformation of a city from 1990 to 2005. Over the 15 year period, this city saws significant developments from small to modern city in transportation, factory and business district. An airport was built next to a school in the northeast town, while the southeast development saw a new ferry port linked to a new railway from the east to west town. The houses were constructed around the hospital in northeast town, while the most houses in the southwest converted into apartments. Between 1990 and 2005, two apartments were converted in the southwest town. Furthermore, two apartments were built in northwest town near the lake. Over the time period, the business districts were developed. In the southeast town, the factory was developed after demolishing trees and houses in 2005, the people could shop in supermarket because it was set up in the southwest town in front of the residential area.

The writer needs to expand on the summary overview section since a single sentence is not acceptable as a complete paragraph, which is the requirement for the paragraph presentations, regardless of paragraph intent. So 3 sentences minimum, 5 sentence maximum, no run-on sentences. As an examiner, I will be looking for a balanced discussion over 2 paragraphs for this presentation. That means the essay should use more of a reporting style than an analytical style of presentation. So, there should be 2 paragraphs for the report covering: - The old city design - The new city design The lack of old design reference means the writer did not even bother to look at the design similarities and changes as it applies to the use of these areas. So the explanation will be seen as lacking in relevance and development.

## Females participating in parliament The supplied chart demonstrates the percentage of females participating in parliament in 5 European countries over a span of 12 years commencing from 2000. Overall, it is clear that the proportion of female members of parliament in 5 targeted countries experienced an upward trend, with the figure in Germany almost remained the highest during the timescale. Looking at the supplied chart more closely, it can be observed from 25 percent in 2000, the proportion of the number of women in France's parliament above 35 underwent a gradual growth to approximately 7 percent at the end of timescale. Similarly, the number of female members of Germany's parliament experienced a slight increase from above 35 percent to about 35 percent in 2012. During the same period, an upward trend can be seen in the figure for female members of Italy's parliament from nearly 26 percent to above 40 percent throughout the surveyed period. In addition, 2010 marked the year when the number of female members of Italy's parliament became equal to that of Germany's parliament with the figure for about 36 percent. From a low of merely 5 percent in 2000, there was a near fivefold increase in the percentage of female members in UK's parliament with the figure for about 25 percent at the end of period. From 2004 to 2008, there were more and more English women participating in parliament from 9 percent to about 20 percent, while the data on Belgium growed slowly. A slightly downward trend can be seen in the figure of Belgium. The year 2012 marked the point at which the number of female members of UK's parliament overtook that of Belgium's parliament. * *Line Graph*

The 277 word count has created a Task 2 essay rather than a Task 1 report presentation. A task 1 essay should have no more than 200 words in it due to the 20 minute writing time. It would take the exam taker at least 40 minutes to complete this essay during an actual test, meaning he would not have any time left to create his task 2 essay. Keep the task 1 essay short. Do not be overly verbose. Stick to the basics of the report and compare or contrast when needed. This essay overdoes that. The policy for task 1 essays will always be "say more with less words" since the report is supposed to be measurement reference intensive. Provide a complete outline. Indicate the 5 countries, provide the inclusive timeline reference, do not stop at 12 years with only the starting year indicated. Include the end year reference. The summary overview needs to be completed within at least 2 sentences. The information necessary to meet this requirement was not included in this report.

## The pros and cons of social media There is a common belief that social platforms appear to exert a detrimental effect on direct interactions between people. In this answer, I will discuss both the merits and demerits before showing why I believe the disadvantages might surpass the good points. On the one hand, it is undeniable that social media bring about significant advantages to some extent. One of the most compelling ones is that it promotes connectivity between people despite locations and races. As social media involves people from a diverse of ethnics, nations, skin colors through a single platform, it helps the unification of the society as a whole, thus creating a sense of oneness and belonging. Another point to consider is the fact that social media keeps users updated with international and local events as these people are having access to a huge source of instant news and information, resulting in wider understanding of global phenomena. On the other hand, social media can have a number of drawbacks to users, overshadowing the abovementioned benefits. One argument is that these platforms can be a hindrance in the way of social-emotional expressions. This is because everything have been limited to textual contents with no personal and emotional feelings coveyed, thus leading to confusion and misunderstandng. Furthermore, social media may obstruct face-to-face interactions when most users have relied on state-of-the-art platforms, which is much more handy, for daily conversation. This situation, as a result, might prevent people from developing strong relationship. In conclusion, there are a number of pros of social media including better connectivity and accessing to a useful source of newly updated information, but they can be eclipsed by the glaring cons related to lack of emotional expressions and unavoidable conflicts. It might depend on users to take advantage of such a modern tool and limit the unfavorable outcomes.

The student has to respond to the direct question "Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?" within his opinion response instead of merely saying that he will be writing a comparison essay before presenting his own opinion. This response does not establish a clear opinion on the topic as required of the TA score. It is an empty statement that will not be given a score other than 0 because it does not answer the question. The writer is not being asked what he will be writing about, he is being asked what his opinion is of the given topic. Fail to answer that and the paragraph has failed to meet the task requirements for proper scoring. As for the discussion presentation, the content is also incorrect. The writer should not be presenting one pro and one con paragraph. Rather, both paragraphs need to show how his personal opinion is the appropriate one to believe in this case. For example, if he believes that the disadvantages are far more numerous than the advantages then he must portray one specific advantage in each paragraph as a disadvantage to prove his point. The format is: Advantage Why it is an advantage Why it is a disadvantage Supporting reasons / explanations Example (optional) When presented over 2 paragraphs using this discussion method, the given prompt discussion format will be properly met. As of now, the writer has failed to properly represent the task requirements.

## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some people argue that the youth should be acted in a similar way as mature people when they commit an offense. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view. On the one hand, the natural health of adolescents is inferior to that of adults. The reason is that their bodies are not wholly developed biologically as well as having to eat meals without essential nutrients in prison, which leads to a lack of sources of nourishment for the normal development of individuals. Moreover, when teenagers have to work at the same intensity as adults making them disabled. As a result, the young suffer from illness, emaciation, and even death. Thus, equal punishment has proven its harmful effects and changed the natural growth of a person. On the other hand, the mind and mental health of immature people is not fully grown. In other words, they are not capable of being aware of their own behavior and the consequence of their own acts. This is the reason why all countries have a special court for young offenders called juvenile court. Furthermore, in sessions of this court where parents or legal guardians of teenagers who take part in illegal acts ought to present. Hence, there are different convictions that are utilized depending on the level of the cognitive process of statutory age. In conclusion, although many people think that criminals of all age groups should be treated in an identical manner, I personally disagree with this statement due to the difference in physical and mental completion between adults and adolescents.

This essay will only be partially scored due to the reasoning error of the writer. Since this is an extent essay, the discussion approach must be based on the reasons that support the writer's opinion alone. He has to convince the reader of the extent by which his reasoning is correct when it comes to this discussion. That means, he must approach the essay in a debate format that is indicative of why the extent of the public opinion is incorrect. He has to present an opposing side, then explain why that is wrong. For example he could say: *While I do agree that... I have to strongly disagree when they say that this is the only way to treat juvenile crime. Another way of dealing with the crime is by... Although there is sense to the reason that... I heavily oppose this because...* See the difference? There is a clear measured response that shows the clear weakness of the other discussion. So the writer's opinion needs to clearly state this by saying: *I am completely opposed to this view due to the reasons that include (1) and (2).* By explaining the short form reasons in a measured response format, the writer will create a wholly supportive single point of view essay that adheres to his personal reasoning. In this case, only the reason that supports the opinion will get a score so the essay might fail the test due to lack of reasoning development. He cannot oppose his own opinion in the presentation by giving reasons as to why both reasons could be correct. Only the correctness of his measured opinion is what matters here.

The given line graph illustrates how many students in Vietnam taking part in the different three countries, namely France, Russia, and America over 15 years, starting from 2000. Overall, it is clear that the quantities of France and America saw an increase over the period shown, while the opposite was true for Russia. Also, over the first five years, those for France were the highest. But, after that, Vietnamese students studying in America took the lead. In 2000, nearly 3.5 million students in Vietnam who applied to France, higher than those for Russia and America, at 3.0 and around 1.5 million respectively. Five years later, America witnessed a significant increase of 500 thousand in the number of students in Vietnam. On the contrary, there was a decrease of approximately 1 million in applying to Russia and France. From the year 2010 onwards, the number of Vietnamese students attending school rose in all three nations. In 2010, the data of France remained constant at roughly 2.5 million before increasing to just over 4.5 million in 2015. In contrast, that in America grew continually and reached a peak of 5 million in 2015. While Russia witnessed a continual drop until 2010, and then this number rose slightly to 2.5 million at the end of the period. *

2 things immediately seen as incorrect in this presentation: - the word count is almost 250 words when the requirement is 150-200 words only (due to time limitations) - The 3 paragraph essay was stretched to 4 paragraphs. 4 paragraphs are required only for 2 or more image comparisons There is no proper summary overview presented. In its place is a run-on sentence which does not have a proper information dissemination focus. Each of the information provided in the long sentence should have a stand alone presentation piece to meet the C+C requirements of the paragraph. The trending statement is not presented as such. The writer created a reporting paragraph rather than a trending paragraph based on the writing he used for the presentation. Therefore, the presentation is incomplete in terms of formatting. Merely using the word "overall" does not create a trending sentence / statement. The presentation needs to focus on only 1 common trend among the countries provided.

Can you guys comment on my post, score it out of 9 based on IELTS task 2 criteria? Hope my final score will be good ^^~ **[b]Topic : When designing a building, the function is normally more important than the outward appearance. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?** [i][b]And here's my essay, thanks for reading it. In this day and age, individuals maintain that the key to a well-constructed building lies in its intentional utility instead of its exterior appearance. Viewing from a pragmatic lens, I totally agree with the aforementioned point of view. In fact, intended usage is a prerequisite factor in a functional structure. Apparently, each building has its own purpose and particular design to serve them. For this reason, buckling down to the utilities is of paramount importance. Take the construction of a school as an example. When designing it, the architect will meet the requirements regarding study rooms, large parking spaces, and other necessities for people with disabilities. The benefits of this allocation will be manifested in the joy of students and teachers when attending schools as well as an improvement in educational quality. Additionally, when people decide to visit a building, they often aim at what it offers inside in lieu of the external attraction. At this point in time, the intentional utility of the assets must be prioritized. Although palatial structure may appear attractive to bystanders at first glance, what it fails to consider is the exorbitant decorating cost and being less utilitarian. Apparently, there is no rationale for wasting money on a building that serves no purpose, let alone decorating it. To elucidate, a functional house satisfying our needs will be more pragmatic than a colorful painted wall, as the outward attraction cannot compensate for the amenities lacking in that estate. Moreover, since trends come and go, the perception of aesthetics will change over time. For this reason, well-decorated architecture of this time will soon be outdated. To demonstrate, wood paneling was fabulous in the 1970s, and to this day, houses are rarely structured like this. In this point of fact, function is the imperative aspect in constructing buildings, as the need for convenience is eternal. To reiterate, how the estate works is critical for utilization, as it will dictate the usefulness of that structure.

The presentation is a bit too long at 326 words. Remember the 40 minute limitation within which the writer still has to review, rewrite, and finalize the content of the essay, Focusing unnecessarily on a long discussion wherein the primary focus of the writer is on the lexical resource score, which is not one of the primary scoring considerations creates this essay of dictionary based words, but lacking in presentation clarity. The examiner is looking for conversational use of everyday English words. He is not looking for an essay that will require him to pull out a dictionary to refer to because of the use of archaic words. The essay needs to be written in a manner that is understandable to people of all ages, not historical English vocabulary experts. While the writer does present a valid argument, his use of vocabulary lessens the impact of the presentation. He set out to impress based solely on vocabulary instead of the heavier scoring aspects of the rubic.

***## TOPIC: It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives ## Do you think that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages ?*** Whether people should step out of their safe zone and accept new challenges is a controversial topic in today's world. Although there are several disadvantages of taking risks, it may bring some benefits. On the one hand, people may face some difficulties if they accept the risks both in their personal and professional lives. The primary drawback is that it will be unstable. To be more specific, accepting the risks means that there might be a failure if your plan does not work well. Furthermore, it may be a catastrophic failure, and you might lose all of your previous efforts. When this scene happens, people who suffer can feel depressed or even embarrassed in front of their friends and their families. They might be ashamed of themselves and lose their motivation to take risks. Consequently, they will follow the traditional way in the future at all times, which cannot create any breakthrough. On the other hand, the process of trying, and preparing for this new adventure can be extremely valuable. Despite sacrificing time and effort, you can learn many useful skills such as personal management skills, and problem-solving skills. Subsequently, you can see these skills in the future as you can learn to form your mistakes. Additionally, life without risk with some people seems to be boring. By accepting new challenges, people can experience other aspects of their life and try the feel of taking risks. They will feel their lives more intriguing and confident. Finally, if their efforts bring them success, there will be their remarkable achievements which will bring them what they wish. For instance, a worker who wants to earn more money will do his own business. If he fails, these will be valuable lessons for him to do next time. If he succeeds, he might become wealthy and can afford whatever he wants. In conclusion, despite having some drawbacks, taking risks and accepting new challenges have various advantages. It is recommended that people should consider every factor before accepting the risks but they should not be too coward to do it. **Could you tell me what band score I may be in, please? Thanks!**

The writer has exaggerated the original topic presentation which has caused a change in the topic foundation. The original presentation indicated an idea or general opinion, the writer's version created a debate. The latter is not the way the discussion was framed by the presentation. Therefore, the prompt restatement is already inaccurate. An additional inaccuracy is the writer's opinion. He does not specify that he is stating his personal opinion. Due to the lack of pronoun usage, the writer indicated a general opinion, rather than a personal thought in the sentence. These mistakes have resulted in the paragraph receiving a failing preliminary assessment score. Due to the lack of single opinion presentation and, the incorrect discussion format used, this essay cannot receive a passing score. There is no clear single opinion being stated by the writer coming from a personal opinion. Instead, he is trying to convince the reader that both sides of the discussion are correct, which is not the writing instruction for this prompt. He has to choose one opinion and explain why he believes that his opinion is the correct one. Without that convincing aspect, the overall essay has already failed.

## Stokeford 1930-2010 The two maps illustrate a village in Stokeford before and after it was developed between 1930 and 2010. Overall, over a period of 80 years, the town experienced a total transformation after the construction of some facilities and more buildings to provide more accommodation for residents. In 1930, the major part of the town was for agriculture and farming, with a farmland in the west side and another, which was more vast, located in the eastern part of the village, and a bridge to connect two sides of the River Stoke. There was a primary school in the center of the village, with a post office, some to the south of the school. Following construction, in 2030, the bridge and the post office remained the same as part of the development, the school was also retained, but expanded with two buildings for more students. The most noticeable change was that both farmland on either side of the village and the shops were demolished, replaced by housing areas in order to make more places for individuals. Further developments were in the south side of the town, the gardens made way for a house for retired people.

The summary overview does not meet the formatting requirement for the task. A summary overview should have at least 2-3 sentences in it to show that the writer actually found all of the important information for quick presentation in the paragraph. Do this in no more than 5 sentences. The trending paragraph, along with other paragraphs in the essay are not GRA compliant since these are mostly composed of long sentences known as run-ons. The student must understand that the paragraphs require 3-5 sentences to satisfy the academic / professional presentation format / requirement of the essay. Each sentence must contain a single, specific thought or information presentation that will be connected in some theme focused manner to the rest of the individual information in the paragraph. Review tense usage and practice using the correct tenses. The writer needs to pay attention to this since he wrote future tense information for this essay incorrectly. The clue as to the tense usage for this paragraph is in the year it describes, the future.

## The proportion of male and female students studying six art-related subjects at a UK The bar chart demonstrates the gender ratio of art-related subjects of the educational institution in 2011. It is appreciable that girls more likely enrolled in artistic areas than boys. The English language and literature is the most demanding subject by the male students among artistic areas, and there is corresponding result in girls. In most cases, the gap between gender equity in each class is just under the 50 students, which girls ratio is higher than boys. The most unbalanced ratio is in Philosophy class, enrollment of the girls triple the boys. Art and Design is the only one subject that shows opposite gender ratio among others, in which men's proportion is roughly higher by 25 students. Other classes, such as communication and media study, linguistic shows same quantity by opposite, which girls overwhelmed than boys. *

The essay falls short of the minimum word count at 136 words. A situation that was perhaps caused by the briefness of the summary overview. That paragraph may have 2 sentences in it, but it delivers incomplete information as it only provides the subject and trending statement. Missing from the paragraph is the summary of information highlights as can be found in the bar graph. Another reason for the failure to meet the word formatting requirements is that there are only 2 paragraphs in what should be a 3 paragraph, 5 sentence essay. The existing paragraph utilizes too much run-on sentence presentations and does not use a variety of punctuation marks other than a period and a comma, resulting in a paragraph that is difficult to remember and understand. There needs to be a more proper comparison presentation used to provide the 3 paragraph requirement.

## Information technology and changing world **Task 2** *You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic:* *Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.* As the world is changing day by day, information technology really changes how people do their work from inside a workplace like an office or a school to literally everywhere that has an internet connection. Although its still require you to have a computer or a phone, you can still doing your jobs while going out with your friends or at a coffee shop with more freedom and change of work places. On one hand, working too much from a computer or a phone may cause you some eye problems such as near-sightedness or dry eyes. Looking too long on a blue screen makes your eyes really work and may cause Computer Vision Syndrome, a common syndrome in office staff or people who work with computers a lot. Also, sitting in front of a computer for too long might cause diseases related to not working enough like hemorrhoids,etc... However, working with a computer may cause some health problems. It also has a lot of advantages. The first advantage has to be the convenience, you can carry your work anywhere, you don't even have to be in the same country but can still work from far away. For instance, in the covid lock down, we can still work or study from home without having to go out and face the risk of getting infected. In conclusion, although using gadgets may cause you some health problems, as long as you can control it and not look at the screen for too long, information technology really gives humans the ability to work from wherever they are. I believe that it definitely outweighs the drawbacks of problems with health.

The direct question being asked in the prompt requires a direct response in the writer's opinion, with the proper build up of the discussion topics to follow. That is because the question is part of the clarity of opinion consideration for the paragraph. When the writer does not provide a direct response to the question, the paragraph is incomplete and cannot be given a passing score. The inclusion of the writer's opinion in the concluding statement would have been correct had it not focused on the topic of health as the drawback idea. Remember that the response to the question has to be presented twice. Once in the introduction to the topic and thesis statement. hemorrhoids,etc... Do not use etc. to close any sentence in the task 2 task. That is because it leaves a sentence open ended rather than closed, specially when used at the end of a paragraph. On one hand However, These are incorrect connecting devices as these represent opposing idea presentations. The 2 paragraphs are actually connected topics so it would have been better to say "For starters" and then "Additionally" (for example). Or, even better, use topic sentences to launch the paragraphs so that the examiner will immediately understand what the paragraph will be about and he can assess if the topics are related in consideration of the transition device score.

## Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts Arts is one of the most important aspects in life. I disagree with the opinion that spending money on the arts is a waste. It has a separate role in the society, arts will improve the mental health for a certain group and that contain the story or the culture of the civilization. First of all, when society develops, it is the time for people to have more intention about their mental life. Arts is one of the ways that free their soul. For example, a picture can describe many different feelings, each person will have to feel a part of the meaning that the author wants to demonstrate. Harmony of soul helps people to fulfill their loss of soul or it is simple to satisfy the people who have a passion for the arts. Not only the picture, but also other artwork helps to develop the mental health of people. So, governments spend money on the arts which are the ways to help inhabitants reform their mental health. Secondly, arts will change during each period, it contains many meanings of history. Each of the different regions has a distinct way to express themselves separately, it is the reason why arts is one of the best ways to understand a civilization's history. The researcher depends on others remaining on the arts to learn about the culture, other relations and events in history. Thus, it is incorrect to say that the government's investment in the arts is a waste of money. Conclusion, Arts bring to many the advantage and it is to difficult to summary that government should invest other better than those. It is because the arts not only improve mental health for people in society, but also help researchers find out other factors to understanding many things in the past.

Creating an immediate discussion point in the opening statement has created a failing TA score for this particular paragraph. The first paragraph is a requirement that needs to represent all of the original information using a different set of words. So the fact that the "government" was not mentioned in some way in this paragraph has altered the prompt topic and created a prompt deviation will will result in an automatic failing score. That is, in addition to the personal opinion presented in the opening sentence (another error), and the lack of a proper extent response are all reasons that the essay will be seen as not providing the correct answer format for the task. So the essay has already received a preliminary failing score that it may not be able to overcome. Next time, represent the original theme and response format first. Then do as you please in terms of discussion in the reasoning paragraphs, you cannot do as you please before then.

## what kind of knowledge gained at schools? Many people believe that the education system these days focuses on the traditional subjects such as biology and history rather than soft and advanced skills that can help the student find a job. I strongly agree with their point of view for different reasons . First of all, despite all traditional subjects being vital ,a student must learn how to find a job and how to start his own bussiness in order to get money. Schools' aim is to bring up educated people but how can this vision come true without the rest of the real-life skills being learnt for instance I believe that a subject that can help you calculate the taxes and teach you how to save money is essential . Second, many traditional subjects can be optional such as languages so why not adding a subject that can help the student in making their c.v more advanced and well orgainzied sometimes students have the potential and the qualifications for the job but unfortunatly because they can't present themself in a proper way using documents they can't get the job . Moreover, if a person learnt all the provided courses in their school , still getting a job is not fatale and that's due to that not all the schools have an internship course for the students. In addition , most of the students don't know what they should do in a job interview sometimes not even finding a suitable job opportuinty that suits them , having optional courses if not even required ones can change this phenomenon and help the majority of students in finding work . In conclusion, I think that physics, math and history are important but they are not enough for creating a successful generation ready for life .Providing them with other skills to help them take part in the society is indespensible for creating a better future not just for them but also for their future families and countries.

The writer's rewording of the original prompt is problematic because the phrase that can help the student find a job. is a direct cut and paste from the original presentation. As such the paraphrasing is not acceptable and will be give a failing score since the writer was unable to use word equivalents and could not show a personal interpretation of the original topic. This has affected the strength of his personal opinion which is also weak since it does not carry the summarized version of his reasoning paragraphs. He was unable to convince the examiner that he has a degree of English comprehension and interpretation skills that could help him complete a higher education level education in an English speaking country. Schools' Incorrect use of a proprietarial apostrophe. The writer is indicating a plural form of the word which should have used the +S presentation instead of ownership, which is signified by the use of an apostrophe after a +S. Upon a deeper review, the student shows an inability to properly use punctuation marks in his presentation, the result of which will be a failing GRA score and, quite possibly a failing overall score. Other reasons for the failing score will be the way the student uses contractions in an essay that is meant to show a formal writing ability based on English language writing rules. I think The writer will lose points for suddenly changing his opinion in the concluding summary. This phrase contradicts his opening statement opinion and no longer follows the required writing format.

## activities of unemployed people in the uk The given table illustrates the percentage of time which the stand-off persons in Britain spent their free time in the previous year. Overall, hunting, shopping, and housework are three activities which the unoccupied persons expended the most of time, contrast to drinking and playing sports outlaid the least time. In particular, while men distributed quitely equally their leisure time for job hunting, shopping, and housework averagely 20% for each other, women spent roughly 50% their time in the morning to do housework. In contrast, drinking (3%) and playing sports (4%) were two options taking average least time in male in the afternoon; However, it just was 0% in females. In the afternoon, a remarkable drop in the proportions of three popular activities was recorded. Particularly, the out of work male just spent about 10% of their spare time for each other. In spite of this decrease, females still used the most time for housework (21%), surpassing noticeably the corresponding number of males. Meanwhile, it seems to be that having two of the given activities was spent gradually and equally regardless of gender factors, that were visiting friends or relatives and reading. Nevertheless, there was a predominance in the unemployment of women over men in visiting friends (17%) and reading (10%) in the afternoon. In addition, regarding gender and the time in day, there were two significant differences in the percentage of gardening and the one of watching TV. Obviously, the former in the unoccupied males was importantly higher than females, 14%, 2%, respectively. In total, unemployment favored doing the latter in the morning (16%) over the afternoon (1%) in contrast to staying in bed. *

While the task can be assessed as well analyzed and written, the problem with the presentation is that it went beyond the 150-200 word limitation. This is the limitation that allows the writer to quickly analyze and report on the information within the 20 minute time limit. At 275 words, this is already a task 2 essay that needs a time limit of 40 minutes to complete. So this will be the reason why the writer will not pass the test. He cannot complete such a long essay within the time limitation for it. It will be incomplete and less that stellar in presentation. So this particular piece of writing should not be assessed for quality and passability since it does not represent how the writer will actually perform within the 200 word maximum and 20 minute time limit. It is important that my assessment be based on an accurate representation of the writer's work within exam center settings. Kindly upload a different essay that follows the correct formatting requirements for proper assessment and scoring. I will wait for it. That means 4 paragraphs with only 150-200 words written in it.

***The best way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education and shopping.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? MY ANSWER: It is a common belief that in order to curb traffic volume, it is vital for people to reduce their need for daily commuting. Personally, I think that although this solution does benefit the traffic in some ways, it would be unworkable and there are more acceptable methods. Although distant working and shopping have been more and more popular these day, reducing the need for people to commute is impractical. No matter how efficiently technology allow people to work, study or carry out only transactions, most of us still prefer face-to-face interations, perpetuating the need to travel. For example, business choose to hold direct meetings in lieu of online meetings, except during the covid 19 pandemic, since face-to-face interactions enable them to discuss more clearly and effectively, not to mention tons of disadvantages of distant working. Therefore, with our society still putting a significant amount of importance on real life day-to-day conversations and interactions, the proposed scheme would not work. Instead of gorvernment reducing the need for people to commute daily, facilitating public tranport may be a more superior alternative solution. If people choose public transport to travel, not only does it help to commute without causing congestion, but it also reduces the amout of emission released from private vehicles. Take Japan as an example, by investing significantly in building elevated and underground railways, Japan has managed to reduce traffic volume considerably, easing congestion on road. As a result, by upgrading facilities of puplic transport, people will be more encouraged to use and thus, protect the atmostphere. In conclusion, although reducing the need of people's daily commuting to alleviate traffic is beneficial to some extents, I am convinced that improving public transport has more advantages that are worth consideration @nnlinh2610

This is an extent essay that requires the writer to define his response based on the measured / emotional descriptions often associated with this prompt. The writer actually failed to address the prompt correctly in 2 instances: 1. He does not restate what areas of life need to reassessed in order to curb the amount of trafficl 2. He does not indicate the degree of his disagreement with the statement and the reasons for this disagreement. Therefore, the essay has not met the task accuracy requirements as required for the prompt restatement + writer's opinion section. That paragraph will meet with a failing preliminary TA score. The lack of clear opinion and proper response format has already doomed the final score to a failing one. Once the prompt restatement + writer's opinion is incorrect, the essay is no longer within passing consideration.

Question: ***In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way.*** ## Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Living in the fast-consuming Society, advertisement has played an influential role in the market. Enterprise tends to emphasis on the innovation of their products on the commercial. While, some people consider that focusing on the newest is an effective way to attract customer, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of this development. Beginning with the reasons why producers want to put emphasis on latest idea on adverts. Firstly, purchasers are more likely to be attracted by those sensational words directly and instantly. Secondly, being label as new inventions can show the differences and specialty from other competitors. The more the commercial are emphasizing on new messages, the more interest the business can inspire. Admittedly, this strategy which centralized the novelty can be profitable to the company. However, from the consumers' perspective, there are more harms than benefits. First of all, producers are used to exaggerating the advantages of those cutting-edge products in an advert . Moreover, putting too many efforts on developments can lead to neglecting the quality and function of the products. For example, I was defrauded by a computer advertisement which aimed to popularized the upgrade system. However, it turned out that the newer one work worsen than former one. This is a common situation when consumers are misled by the adverts and being attracted by the innovation. To conclude, for the reasons stated above. I believe that focusing on the latest part of the good too overly is a negative trend which lead consumer to fall victim to sensational marketing trick.

Look at the way that the original statement positions the prompt requirements. Since the writer is expected to give his own version of the prompt, it is understood that the writer will follow the same statement positioning. So, the writer should have positioned his prompt, for clarity as follows: *Enterprise tends to emphasis on the innovation of their products on the commercial. Living in the fast-consuming Society, advertisement has played an influential role in the market. I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of this development.* See how the strength of statement becomes clearer and more task accurate when the correct positioning of the reworded prompt is presented? By properly positioning the sentences, there is no need for inaccurate thought additions in the presentation. The 3 sentence requirement is well met and delivers the information needed. I have to point out though, that the writer's opinion is an inaccurate response to the given statement as it alters the discussion format from positive or negative to advantages v. disadvantages. That means, the writer will not get a passing score for the paragraph because the response format, in terms of the writer's opinion, is incorrect and does not follow the correct prompt instruction. The overall discussion is also not in accordance with the discussion requirements since it does not focus on the positive or negative development discussion. There was no need to discuss the reasons for emphasizing the newness of the product. Only the second paragraph will be scored as it aligns itself with the positive or negative discussion. The discussion part is under developed and will not receive full scoring marks.

## employment rates - graph analysis The bar graph below shows the employment rates of men and women in four different countries, South Africa, Chile, Finland, Norway in 2002. Overall, it is clear that the proportion of men working is always higher than women in four countries. It is also evidence that the employment figures in both Finland and Norway of the two sexes is relatively close. The opposite is true in Chile where the employment percentage has the biggest gap between the two genders. Looking at the bar graph more closely, one can see that nearly 80 percent in Norway were in work, which makes them the group with the highest employment rate out of the four countries. Chile and Finland followed closed behind at roughly 70 percent. However, the percentage of South African men that had jobs were low compared to the others countries,at only 50 percent. As was the case with men, Norway also had the highest women employment rate, at above 70 percent. Finland was second with around 67%. The rates in South Africa and Chile were lower, both only has only one-third of women working. Moreover, Chile female employment rate is only half when compared to their counterparts. *

The summary overview is difficult to follow becausethe writer chose to use a single sentence to represent information that should have been clearly spread out over 3 sentences, excluding the trending statement. The use of run-on sentences in the summary overview is a common mistake among ESL students which often results in a failing GRA and C+C preliminary score. Next time, aim for clarity by spreading out the information over several sentences. Nobody has ever lost points for it in the actual test. They actually gain points for it. A trending statement refers to a particular trend that carries a commonality for all the countries involved. It does not mean that the writer needs to say something about each country, making it look like a trend, when it clearly is not. That affects the clarity of the trending statement since, in this case writer was not serving up a trend anymore but rather, offering a reporting paragraph already. The writer has incorrectly formatted this essay by only providing a single reporting paragraph. The task 1 essay is always composed of 2 reporting or analytical paragraphs. The summary overview and trending statement is not considered a part of the reporting paragraphs.

Peer Review Please- ## Cause for Concern, Kids and Social Media In 2006, AOL Canada launched their third annual Online Safety Week, revealing that nearly thirty-one percent of kids would rather play on the internet than play outside, while a survey in 2007 revealed more homes had internet than a television. Technology integration is necessary for our children to be successful as adults in the real world, but how much online activity is too much? Reports of cyber security breaches and identity theft are a few concerns while online, but do children know what to share and not share? I'm a firm believer in restricting access to the internet with children. My seven-year-old goes on YouTube Kids for an hour maximum a day. I can block videos or subscriptions I don't feel are age appropriate and I often ask her to tell me about the videos she's watching and we watch them together. My thesis will support the need for supervision of children while they are online and provide some ideas for parents and caregivers of children. Becky Bolt's article "83 % of Canadian Parents Leave Their Child Unattended Online; Third annual AOL Canada Online Safety Week kicks-off to raise awareness about Internet safety; City of Toronto declares May 8 official Online Safety Day." CNW Group 8 May 2006 from 2006 is the third annual report by AOL Canada. Bolt uses the paper to promote AOL's Safety Week program and raise awareness from statistics gathered in a recent survey. She states facts like the internet wasn't created with child audiences in mind, hence why AOL created Safety Week. The Canada-wide survey conducted by Leger Marketing for AOL Canada shows that 50% of parents feel it's easier to educate their children about sex & drugs than internet safety. In addition, 85% of parents agree the internet would be safer for children if there were standardized ratings like are in place for movies, TV shows, video games & music CDs. According to a research article 'Exploring Canadian Children's Social Media Uses' fifty-seven percent of kids ages six to ten years of age reported using social media. Fifty-four percent have posted or shared their names on social media, similarly, fifty percent have uploaded or shared pictures or videos of themselves. With the recommended age 13 for Facebook and many other platforms, how are these children uploading or sharing this information? Easy, themselves! Fortytwo percent reported needing no assistance or doing while no one was present. Thirty-three percent had a parent present or in the room. Kids are predisposed to technology. They see it on TV, they see their parents on it, they use it in school. When we're waiting for anything, we take out our phone and check our email, look at Facebook or watch a YouTube clip. It's no wonder our kids know how to access the internet and which social media apps are trending, but do they understand the implications of their actions on those applications & who should teach them internet safety? What are the positive or negative effects of their social media exposure social/emotionally? According to a Canadian study over fifty percent of kids reported never feeling blue, sad, or afraid that had access to the internet and exposure to social media. Definity is a positive for social media, especially with all the negative exposure around social media and its content, but it also correlates over fifty percent of its 6-12-year-olds sharing information online including photos, birthdate, and real name. It's estimated that forty percent of kids online have Facebook accounts either set up with parental consent or fake information. Often these accounts aren't set properly exposing the child to harassment in various forms. Becky Bolt wrote this article over 15 years ago. However, I'm sure the numbers have changed a bit; there is still a lack of accountability by parents for their child's internet behavior. Bolt states the AOL Canada-wide survey numbers while promoting their Online Safety Week. AOL Canada has taken action to help children with internet safety, but is it their job? AOL Canada survey revealed that 92% of parents know exactly which internet sites their children are visiting, but 43% have no parental controls or do not know what security controls they have in place. Becky Bolt's article, 'The internet was not created with child Audiences in mind,' hence why AOL created Online Safety Week. AOL also created KOL(™), a kid-safe internet service for kids under 12. Allowing parents to monitor internet behavior but also restricting it through KOL. The AOL Canada survey shows that parents know what sites they are visiting, but what about their content? Take YouTube as an example, you can search 'silly games' and get some things like the song Silly Games by Janet Kay, but you also get results like Friday the 13th Traps FGTEEV! Which isn't appropriate if a 6-year-old is searching. The remaining results aren't much better, and they include a DIY Huggie Wuggie, Pimple Pete game & other results not suitable for a child under 12. Bolt's article states the average age of a child going online for the first time; 20% of parents say their child was three or younger the first time they went online. Parents may know their child is on YouTube searching for silly games, but what results are being yielded by those results? Using KOL can reduce and control outcomes, but what happens when a child over 12 searches using Google or AOL? Will they know right from wrong, good from evil on the internet? Peng Hwa Ang's article Parental Awareness and Monitoring Internet Use showed that parents tend to underestimate adolescents' risky internet behavior. Educators seem to take the heat on educating and teaching internet safety and responsibility. Canada & the United Kingdom have internet programs in their education system, the same as their core classes. American children identified YouTube as the most popular social media platform, while Canadian adolescents preferred web-based games or streaming music. AOL's Online Safety Week in 2006 promoted KOL by donating its services to 10 best public libraries for use in their kid's areas, along with Internet Safety Expert and AOL Canada Karen Robbins on hand to speak about internet safety. While KOL is an excellent idea for children under 12, it's not teaching them proper digital citizenship; we're not helping them when they finally go onto regular search engines. Without parents having conversations with their children and putting appropriate parental security controls in place, they become vulnerable to risky online behaviors. In 2006 29% of kids had computers in an area not recommended by internet safety advocates; the number has since risen as the number of computers and smaller electronic devices has grown. With 19% of children in 2006 having been bullied online & 14% having chatted with strangers, I don't think a week of intervention will help the problem. My daughter has been online since age 3, but always with supervision and limits on screen time. Some view it as too young to allow her to have an iPad and go on YouTube, while others don't think time limits are really necessary. I allow longer time limits on educational programs, like IXL (school math program), and limit her time on things like YouTube, Minecraft, and Roblox. She has access to messaging services, with people I select, if she wants a friend added, she just needs to ask. Weekly I get a report of who she talked to and what was said. This has opened the door for conversations about who she wants to talk to, what they are saying, and further critique of the conversations and etiquette. Some parents believe I shouldn't allow my child online. Her being online exposes her and her information to potential perpetrators. If I don't allow her online, is she then blind to the actual risks of social media? I work closely with kids on a daily basis, I hear stories of internet restrictions, and lack of restrictions. Kids go on phones or iPads gaming, chatting, or on Facebook. Who's right on social media regulation? There's a saying father like son, how affected are the kids by their parents' social media habits? Review Sources Research to find who should control or limit (if at all kids' social media) doesn't seem to be much of a debate. It's a lot of buck-passing failing to take responsibility in our country. Canada and Europe seem to educate their children in school and with internet explorers geared towards age groups. I was unable to find any article specifically on advice to American parents in regard to social media and kids. The closest article I found was 'Educators: Online safety doesn't' take a vacation' which speaks to educators and how Prospect Elementary School in Clarendon Hills is educating its students. Encouraging parents to take control of "their" device the kid has and set rules and expectations. They also encourage open conversation, don't shut down conversation or be shocked at what your child is sharing. Digital Citizenship is a problem in children's homes according to Bolt's article. Parents are more comfortable talking about other issues vs. internet safety. They want websites rated or tools like KOL for our children. Bolt quotes 'Net Mom' Karen Robbins "The internet is like a swimming pool, you wouldn't just leave your child alone in the deep end. You start them in the shallow end and monitor them closely so they don't get in trouble" I agree with Robbins. As parents, it's our responsibility to monitor and teach our children about the world around us. We would do it at a pool or out in public at a shopping center; why wouldn't we do it on the internet?

In 2006 a survey in 2007 The reference materials are too old to be considered valid sources of information for the article. In order for these portions to be acceptable, the writer must use information sources no more than 5 years as a basis. These references are at least 16 years old. Far more advance information in relation to the discussion are already available to the writer. Update the data in the paragraph to be more relevant and in tune with current information and trends. Use more applicable technology integration reports that are readily available online from FB, Insta, Twitter, or any other social media source. My thesis will support Present the acutal thesis without this reference phrase. It lessens the academic credibility of the paragraph and shows that the writer is not familiar with college level writing requirements. According to a Canadian study What study? Where is the actual data? Use a properly cited source to strengthen this claim. The essay is based too much on hearsay and invalid information sources at this point. The writer should make a greater effort to use the most current infomation available in relation to this topic. Becky Bolt wrote this article over 15 years ago. Aside from the obvious age and irrelevance of this article, it should not be used as a main reference source due to lack of information validity. What is the article title? Where was it published? Why was the article highly relevant at that time? \*Limited review provided due to the length of the paper. Kindly contact me privately for private review possibilities. Thank you.

**Q: *Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies.* ## To what extent do you agree or disagree?** *And here is my essay, please check it for me and score it out of 9. Thanks a lot!* The world is on the threshold of technological advancement, in which information can be disseminated and exchanged expeditiously. However, the opponents still maintain that state-of-the-art digital devices are an impending threat to our lives. From my perspective, I partially agree with the aforementioned point of view. On the one hand, the mushrooming of news sites with innumerable sources of information has corrosive effects on netizens. First, due to being overwhelmed with loads of uploaded content, unratified contents such as provocative films, violent scenes are slackly managed. For this reason, these evils can be accessed without age restrictions, which may abuse individuals' physical and mental health, namely aggressive behavior, reaching puberty earlier, and even addiction. To clarify, children who play violent games without supervision tend to act deviantly and audaciously, and an addicted one may risk their life on guns and swords as they frequently do in games. Moreover, kids watching provocative films are proven to reach puberty earlier than usual, as well as develop harmful paraphilia. Those detrimental consequences are not only limited to children but also stretch to adults. Second, a large part of online news is uncensored and unverified. Therefore, individuals may be exposed to misleading information, gradually leading to distorted views and attitudes. On the other hand, expeditious internet dissemination will be a fertile breeding ground for gaining knowledge if all the aforementioned threats are properly managed. First, with a sundry of news sites and shared documents available, people are able to keep abreast of the latest regularities and social shifts freely. Second, the digital world with information exchange facilitates online study courses to be available, make education accessible to rural students. For example, The Science of Well-Being of Yale University, which is one of the most popular online psychological courses, has inspired millions of desperate people and navigated them to a brighter outlook on life. Moreover, learning online encourages self-study and learning at an individual's own pace, which will gradually improve self-discipline if performed properly. Last but not least, information access diversifies teaching methods, from mundane speech to vivid videos and presentations. In this way, the quality of education can be improved. Having discussed both viewpoints, It is my conviction that overwhelming information dissemination poses a threat on our lives. Nevertheless, its wonderful impact on our gaining knowledge.

There are 2 errors that will result in a failing score for the prompt restatement. The incorrect portions are: 1. The world is not on the "threshold of impending advancement", the world is already in the middle of technological advancements and shows no signs of slowing down. This is a slight misinterpretation of the original topic basis. 2. Why is there a mention of "state of the art digital devices"? The original prompt left no word regarding these instruments of communication. Where did the writer get the idea that these should be mentioned as a part of the paraphrase? It's addition created a different discussion focus that will result in a failing interpretation score. As for the writer's opinion, his statement is incomplete. What would have completed it is the establishing sentence that he used in the concluding paragraph. The extent of his opinion as presented is really lacking since it does not establish the short reasons that would support his point of view. The discussion itself is also inappropriate. For this type of extent essay, the writer should stick to one opinion discussion. That means, both reasoning statements should take one topic that he can discuss based on: 1. Why he agrees with it 2. What reasons he has to also disagree with it / only partially support it. His current presentation does not establish these measured reasoning discussion points. So the essay is not as effective as it should be. It would have done the reasoning paragraphs better if he had paid attention to delivering the correct discussion format to show that he actually understood what the question was asking and how it should be discussed. There are problems with his discussion presentations as well. By presenting several reasons in the paragraph, but not appropriately developing the connecting discussions, he has created paragraphs that lack cohesiveness. He should focus on creating solid connections within 2 related reasons only, no more than that. Otherwise, he ends up with a paragraphs that lacks thought and reasoning development. He produces the current low scoring discussion paragraphs.

**Q:** ***People should follow customs and traditions when they start live in a new country.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? **A:** Many people assert that newcomers should adapt to the customs and traditions of their soon to be residence in other countries. In my opinion, I completely agree with this viewpoint because it can eliminate the cultural border. In terms of social life, having an insight into the customs and traditions of other countries makes it much easier for you to make new friends and expand your network. This means that foreigners can avoid unfortunate mistakes concerning customs and traditions. For example, in Vietnam, people commonly take a nap at midday, so a meeting with indigenious neighbors occurring right after lunch may be considered as an inconvenience for the locals if newcomers do not acknowledge this particularly unique custom. As regards career, assimilating into a new culture can generally improve your working life. This is all attributed to the fact that new employees can better manipulate their daily actions towards their colleagues and leaders, who play an integral role in both their promotional opportunities and working environment, to their advantage. Consequently, they will appear to be much more professional and respectful at work. Moreover, in some specific careers relating to customer service, complying with the customs and traditions possibly help them better understand their clients so that they can provide them with the best service possible and evade further irritating already angry and irate customers. In conclusion, customs and traditions of a new country should be obeyed because it can bridge the cultural gap, resulting in advantages in both social and working life. However, people should also avoid abandoning their original culture for every culture should be well preserved.

This is a well thought out and properly developed essay. The prompt restatement and writer's opinion came in strong and well represented. It delivered on all scoring consideration points and will be given a very impressive preliminary score. It is specially strong in representing the discussion basis for the writer's opinion. Both aspects discussed as consideration factors are valid and deliver clear supporting reasons for the writer's previously stated opinion. The writer understood that the correct discussion format for this type of question is a single opinion defense presentation. This understanding helped to create a very cohesive and coherent discussion presentation. The paragraphs relate to one another and highlight aspects of the discussion that prove the validity of the writer's way of thinking. A slight error occurred in the summary conclusion though. While the presentation presented a solid summary within 2 sentences, the 3rd sentence is what forced the closing statement error. The error was caused by the sudden reference to an unrelated discussion point which resulted in the introduction of a new topic. Such a reference created an open ended essay and a prompt deviation at the same time. Needless to say, the paragraph will receive point deductions because of this last sentence but it may not cause the essay to receive a failing score in the end. The good performance early in the presentation worked to prevent that from happening.

## who is responsible for choosing education program for children While some people argue that central authorities should decide the subjects that children are taught at schools, others think that teachers should be responsible to choose the program. This essay will discuss both points of view and give my personal opinion. On the one hand, central authorities should decide school subjects because of the following reasons. First of all, the government takes responsibility for guaranteeing the quality of the national education system. They can compare the programs of various schools and know deeply the strength and weaknesses each of education program. Therefore, they can decide on the standard of education levels and opt the effective programs. Secondly, the government has broad knowledge and experience in many different fields. Then they can decide the suitable curriculum to help students improve their knowledge and skills. In addition, the government has a high awareness of society's requirements, so that they can opt for the subjects of each education level to help students have great abilities in their future careers. On the other hand, teachers should be responsible to decide the curriculum. First of all, teachers have numerous experience in teaching students. They understand deeply what subjects are helpful for students. Teachers can sensibly arrange the order of the lessons in a subject and give useful advice to put what lessons suitably each level. They also can upgrade fast new methods or new information in teaching so that they know how to help students learn better. As a result, they tend to determine education materials based on student's favorite. Furthermore, if students are allowed to choose their favorite subjects, they will have much motivation to study. They will have more chance to enhance their strengths. In conclusion, both central authorities and teachers play an important role in opting for national education programs. In my opinion, central authorities should hold varied seminars between the government and teachers to select the best contributing opinions. Then, the government gives the sample program and opens the feedback from teachers before they decide official program. In addition, during using an educational system, they have to manage closely and upgrade it.

The topic restatement is well presented. It clearly separates the 2 public opinions in the presentation. However, the writer has not clearly presented his opinion in the appropriate sentence. The writer's opinion should clearly indicate which of the 2 topics he supports or, if he has a totally different opinion from what has been presented. This is the final preliminary TA score consideration that establishes the required opinion clarity. A problem arose with the discussion presentations. Since the writer is tested on his grammar accuracy, there is an expectation that he would know how to use pronouns to differentiate his personal opinion from the public opinion. The use of 3rd person pronouns in this essay is incorrect as it does not reflect a public opinion but rather, a reference to a plural subject (government). Pronouns should have been used to refer to the opinion source as the explanation basis instead. Now, this essay is facing a failing score due to a missing summary conclusion. By integrating his personal opinion into the conclusion, he created an open ended discussion. The result of which is an automatic failing score. The personal opinion should either be integrated into the public opinion assessment or, as a stand alone 3rd reasoning paragraph.

## The average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories The bar graph compares married women and married men in terms of the median hours spent on housework, childcare or gardening per week in 3 sectors. In general, the amount of time that women spend doing unpaid work is considerably more than men. It is noticeable that the wives need to do more work when they have more children, while there is a reverse trend in the husband's cases. It can be seen from the graph that women without children spend 30 hours working on weekly housework or gardening. By contrast, families with 1-2 children consumed more wife's hours per week, at approximately 51 hours, 21 hours higher than who have no children. The figure for those who have three or more kids even higher, at 60 hours. On the other hand, unpaid work doesn't cost much time of married men with nearly same amount of hours for categories of no children and 1-2 children, at around 19 hours. Furthermore, the amount of work done by husbands slightly fells by 2 hours when they have more than 3 kids. *

in 3 sectors. The 3 sectors should have been listed as the 2nd sentence requirement of this paragraph. A basic paragraph is composed of at least 2 sentences covering 40 words mimumin. An academic paragraph is composed of at least 3 sentences, with a maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph. The choice as to the paragraph sentence number depends upon the exam taker. Aim for at least 2 sentences next time to complete the summary overview. The more sentences you list, the better for the summarized information. Just make sure it is relevant to the shortened information presentation. women husband's If one is referring to husbands, then the women should be referred to as the married women, wives, or mothers. Whichever descriptive word best suits the information presentation. Improve the word usage in reference to alternative references. It can be seen Do not refer to something seen in the graph because it appears that the writer is asking the reader to look at the graph. This is something that cannot be done since the idea is to use creative descriptions, without exaggerations to create the analytical report. doesn't Avoid the use of contractions since the GRA score is based on academic writing knowledge considerations. Write the full words to show a stronger and more extended English writing ability.

## more and more people are going to other countries for significant period of time, either to find job or to study In this day and age, the number of people who have a tendency to go abroad for studying and working purposes is on the rise. It is undisputed that this trend can bring certain benefits while living abroad might also be a challenging period of time. This essay will discuss both the pros and cón related to this issue. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages which can be reaped from staying abroad. Firstly, heading overseas might be a chance to broaden people's horizons. In other words, there is a great opportunity to contact the multicultural community so they will be more open-minded and adaptive as well as have a great deal of experience in life. Moreover, working or seeking jobs abroad can potentially lead to a better quality of life. This is because foreign countries not only provide up-to-date teaching methods that help students absorb knowledge as much as possible but also more job opportunities with high salaries and better perks. On the other hand, despite several merits, living abroad can also have demerits that are worth mentioning. Firstly, studying abroad requires a great deal of money for tuition fees and living expenses which are extortionately expensive. Therefore, the family might suffer from a financial burden that is beyond their ability. People not only face financial problems but also other challenges and difficulties such as language barriers, feeling of loneliness, and isolation. To be more specific, language barriers make people get into trouble with communicating and understanding their friends or colleagues. Furthermore, they could also encounter culture shock including the difference in lifestyle, and cuisine. This can result in feeling homesick and isolated in a new environment. Those hardships could have a detrimental impact on their mental health. To sum up, studying or working in different countries could be beneficial and harmful in various aspects. From my perspective, I suppose people should take them into careful consideration to find their own way

I believe that the writer has confused the topic focus of the essay by indicating both studying and working as the topic focus. Since there is no reference to this in both the old and new IELTS task 2 questions list, it is possible that the writer tried to makeup his own prompt. This led to the confusing combined topic reference that makes this essay impossible to discuss accurately since the 2 reference subjects have differing discussion targets. He must post the original prompt next time to act as a review guide for his essay. The restatement is difficult to follow based on the aforementioned reasons. It becomes further confusing to decipher the discussion track due to missing opinion and thesis statement. It is also noticeable that the focus of the discussion is only on the study aspect with little to no reference to the work aspect. This is further evidence of an incorrect essay prompt. I am afraid I cannot proceed with reviewing this essay without knowing what the real prompt is about.

## IELTS WRITING TASK 2 : OWNING A HOME **In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think is a positive or negative situation?** In modern society, the house is a crucial necessity that should be accomplished to live in. Many people believe that it is prominent to buy people's own house rather than rent. In my view, this comes from the need of feeling safe; and I think it is positive. I would like to explain more details about my opinion by giving some reasons. Why are people supposed to buy a house? One reason is that by owning a house, people will live in a permanent place without any threats that force them to move or even cause homeless. Compared to renting a house, they are risked by many possible situations that can negatively impact people's lives, such as having problems with the landlord and raising the cost. Therefore, having a house is vital to making life safe and comfortable. Another reason for owning a house is that people are possible to live in better financial conditions. Even though purchasing a house is very expensive the first time, people can manage their expenditures better after that. The fact is, When renting a house, the hirer should pay the cost every month so they are limited to allocate the income for other beneficial aspects, for example, pursuing an education. Thus, it will be hard for people to make a big step in their life. Based on the given information, I believe that the condition when people prefer to have their own house rather than rent one is positive. This is mainly because by owning a house, people will have a more stable life so they can focus more on developing careers or education. Moreover, this situation can also lead to a decrease in homeless people. To sum up, people have the desire of owning a house because they want to have a secure life and better finances. This situation affects positively since the house owner is likely to have a better life and possibly create a better society.

I cannot help but wonder if this user is even listening to me when I make observations and corrections, as well giving advice for the improvement of the essay presentations. The problems remain the same, meaning the writer has disregarded previously given improvement references. Additional problems have even shown up in this essay that further prove that the writer is not even trying to improve his vocabulary and sentence development skills. Several words are incorrectly used in the essay which create confusing and non-understandable sentence/paragraph ideas. A clear writer's opinion is not provided since he only "think(s)" that the provided opinion might be correct. So he failed that task requirement immediately. The writer is also fond of using empty sentences and rhetorical questions, both of which unnecessarily lengthen the essay. There is a time consideration to keep note of that should be followed without fail. These are actions that will ensure once again, that the writer will not produce a passing score essay. The essay has too many problems for this writer / exam taker to actually know what he is supposed to be doing and how he is supposed to be discussing these essays. With all of the example essays available here, that come with free advice for improvement based on previous writer errors, I am really puzzled as to why this writer cannot improve his practice essay presentations for review. I do not see any way of helping this student going forward since he appears to be incapable of understanding the observations made with regards to his previous writing problems. He is not capable of taking advice or learning from freely given advice either. This being his 3rd essay for review, marked improvements rather than increasing writing problems should be seen. Due to his lack of improvement and increasing writing problems based on word usage and sentence formation, among other problems, this will be the last consultation I will be giving this student. His lack of ability to improve his writing skills cannot be blamed on me since I keep repeating the same advice, with additional observations and improvement references for new problems with every essay he presents here for review.

The map potrays the development of a town from 1990 to 2005. Overall, from 1990 to 2005 the city centre show impressive developments in businesss sector, accomodation, and transportation. An airport was built next to a school in the northeast town, while the southeast development saw a new ferry port linked to a new railway from the east to the west town. The goverment demolished the houses and developed the three apartment blocks in the southwest. In the northwest, there were three apartement bulidings at the edge of the lake, replacing a big house. Two houses were developed in the northeast town near the hospital. When it came to other developments, in terms business sites the supermarket in southwest was extended after demolishing the houses and some trees. Other changes showed the factory in the southeast was costructed after removing houses and green areas around railway station. School and hospital remained stable in a 15-year period.

The map potrays the development a town from 1990 to 2005. - This is an incorrect summary in the sense that the number of maps indicated are not equivalent to the years indicated. There will be at least 2 maps present in this report. These maps should be separated as reference images in the summary based on the year reference. That will help the paragraph meet the 2 sentence summary qualifier. I will commend the writer for trying to achieve the proper comparison balance in this report through the use of old and new infrastructure references in each paragraph. Though the grammar is not perfect, it is understandable and achieves the aim of this essay which is to provide a clear before and after urban design development for the city. Good job !

## Writing Task 1 IELTS - Describing Maps The map shows the comparison of a town development from 1990 to 2005. Over the period, there was a change from a small village to a modern town. The changes consisted of transportation, accommodation, and business sectors. An airport was built next to a school in the northeast town, while the southeast development saw a new ferry port linked to a new railway from the east to west town. The town also saw the modernization of accommodation. For instance, the houses in the southwest were a marked decrease and was replaced by apartments just across the supermarket. Similarly, the apartment construction was also taken place in the northwest near the lake. In terms of business sectors, an establishment of the new supermarket was taken place in southwest of the town. Meanwhile, a factory was constructed in the southeast just near of the ferry port and railway. However, these developments caused a noticeable decrease in the number of trees there.

There is a problem with the way the report depicts the changes in the maps (not map) provided. All the report describes are the changes that were made, over 2 paragraphs. The essay is therefore incorrectly/improperly developed. There is an under development in the presentation as the old urban design was never referenced in the essay. This makes the modern representation incomplete in analysis. In order to create a comprehensive analytical report. There needs to be a standard before and after presentation per paragraph. So the images need to be grouped into related content for equal discussion presentations per paragraph. This essay tries to do that unsuccessfully since the pre design is not really indicated alongside the post description.

## how a small town become an urban town The maps shows information about a town development progress from 1990 to 2005. Overall, there was a significant progress that change small town become an urban town in the last fifteen years especially in three kind of facilities; transportation, business sector and accommodation. An airport was built next to school in the northeast town, where the southeast development saw a new ferry port linked to a new railway from the east to west town. In business sector, a factory was built replacing tress and houses in southeast area, while southwest development saw a new supermarket around the residential area. Meanwhile, a river runs through the middle of the town which divided the tow in two. Talking about accommodation saw constructed some houses that replace a lot of green area in northeast and several apartments were developed in west town close to the lake. In the northeast, two houses were constructed around hospital.

This exam taker has not fully utilized the word count for this task in aid of receiving a higher final score or considerations per consideration. 152 words does not allow the examiner to fully consider the English comprehesion, thinking, and writing skills of the examinee. While the limited word count does help one to avoid creating writing errors, it also has a drawback since the text that was provided could use more clarity in terms of explanation and analysis. Things that this report lacks. With regards to formatting considerations, the writer should have used a 4 paragraph discussion format here. He should also have at least 3 sentences per paragraphs. There are a few run-on sentences here and there in this presentation. The writer did not really make an effort to present a well scoring paper. All things considered, he just wanted to present a completed paper, not a high scoring one.