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## The maps showed the comparison of a city expanded from 1990 to 2005. Over the period, the area witnessed dramatic changes, from 1990 to 2005, the city center saw marvelous developments, there were some grouping of the development a city: started from the accommodation, transportation, business center. During the 15 years, a ferry harbor was built near Railways Station, while in the southeast of The Airport was development. The new railways were developed from the east to the west. A Harbor was constructed at the edge of the sea, from the west to the east to the factory. Meanwhile in the north of the factory was built airports, behind the school. The apartments were built in the southwest and three apartments were developed in the northwest near to the lake. In the northeast, three houses were constructed behind the hospital. Between 1990 to 2005 the business center was built. The Supermarket was built in the southwest and replaced the old houses and trees. A Factory was built in the southeast while demolishing houses, and the goverment of the city modernized transportation ways.

The task accuracy of this essay in relation to the correct report format will be a failing score. A summary overview needs to be at least 2 sentences long, with at least 40 words typed into that paragraph. The trending statement is problematic in terms of thought presentation. There is no clarity to the structure used for the idea presented. Additionally, the writer exaggerates in the statement, leading to an unwarranted claim that makes it unreliable to believe. By the way, the writer also forgot to indicate how may maps were used to illustrate the changes provided. This is a 3 reporting paragraph essay. the writer only focused on explaining the changes provided within 2 paragraphs. This is incorrect since the response format expectation is: Par. 2: Old city plan description Par. 3: New city plan description Par. 4: Comparison of changes (optional) Basically, this should be a 200 word report presentation. The writer must focus on improving his timeline referencing. He needs to learn how to properly write in past and past perfect tenses. I mention past perfect tenses in particular because that was the main focus for writing assessment in this particular task.

***The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat. ## What can be done to maintain biodiversity?*** Humans' activities are causing damage to the environment, accelerating the pace of climate change. These environmental problems lead to a reduction in biodiversity, putting many animal and plant species under threat. To reverse this trend, both governments and individuals must take action to reduce the impact. First, governments must conduct breeding programmes to improve biodiversity. In the programmes, endangered species can be nurtured in wildlife sanctuaries to breed in captivity to reduce the chance of going extinct. After reaching adequate numbers, those animals would be reintroduced into the wild to exist and give offspring. Second, nations must preserve left natural habitats and formulate new protected areas. For decades, natural habitats have disappeared by deforestation and waste dumping; eventually, there has been a drastic decrease in wild species. In case the breeding programme is successful, but there is a lack of natural habitats, endangered species might decline again. Finally, to protect the natural habitats for endangered species, it is vital to emphasise individuals' responsibility. People should raise their awareness of ecosystem preservation and environmental protection. Moreover, by recycling items and reducing waste, people can reduce garbage in landfills and protect forests from being exploited for commercial purposes. Therefore, wild animals and plants could have natural environments to survive. In conclusion, preserving biodiversity must be done by governments and individuals through practical actions: implementing breeding programmes, maintaining natural habitats, and protecting the environment. Humans are an organism in the biodiversity, so protecting wild species means protecting humans' existence.

The essay does not meet the minimum word count of 250 words. Deductions based on the missing word count will be applied to the task accuracy score, which means the essay will start with a failing preliminary score. That is not how the exam taker wants to start this essay. He must write at least 250 words to avoid potential deductions based on technicalities. Due to this deduction, the essay might be prevented from achieving a passing score when all the deductions per section are considered. A review and comparison of the original prompt against the writer's interpretation will show that there are very little similarities between the provided topic and the version the writer developed. This lack of proper connection with the original topic and presentation will mean that the task accuracy score for this essay will be failing due to the prompt deviation. There are certain aspects that are similar but the overall presentation changed the basis of the discussion. Therefore, it is not important that I review the discussion paragraphs provided at this point. The writer has already made sure that he will not receive a passing score with this essay right from the start, based on the 2 mistakes he made in the presentation. It is important that the writer realize the importance of meeting the word count and prompt adherence in the task 2 essay. Once the writer does not meet these minimum requirements, he will receive a failing score, regardless of his discussion paragraphs.

## Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world The given charts indicate the figures in terms of using water for varied intentions in six regions of the world. Overall, central Asia was the top of using water for agriculture, while Europe took up a majority of water for industrial use. When it comes to agricultural use, the figures of Central Asia, SouthEast Asia, South America and Africa accounted for more than half of the whole groups, saying 88%, 81%, 71% and 84%. However, the percentage of these countries occupied a minority of industrial and local purposes . Particularly, the figure of SouthEast Asia mostly doubled that of Central Asia and Africa, while the number of South America doubled that of Central Asia regarding manufacture use. By contrast, there was 19 percent in domestic use of South America, which was twice as much as that of three remaining agricultural nations. Regarding two industrial countries, their figures took up just over a half and around a half of the whole categories, while the numbers for agriculture intention took up over a third, with the figures being 39% and 32%. Interestingly, these countries occupied a larger percentage of domestic use in comparison with that of agricultural countries, which accounted for a small minority/ a small portion (15% and 13% respectively).

A summary overview must be complete in its explanation of the important figures and references from the given image. That means, a specific image type and number of images presented should kick off the essay That is because the image number and image type will be the basis of the mental picture that the reader will use to better understand the provided information. Since the trending statement indicates 2 out of 6 reference points, there should be a preceding sentence that enumerates all 6 of these considerations to allow the reader to again, gain a better understanding of the information short form in relation to the discussion focus. The writer does not clearly use the image measurements in the reporting paragraphs. Due to the incorrect or confusing percentage placements, the reader comes away from this essay more confused than informed by the shared information. It is important that the writer learns how to write these report types in a clear and accurate manner. One way he can do this is by reading the stock market section of the newspapers. The task 1 essay shares similarities in information presentation with this section of newspapers and can very well help the writer learn how to write a proper analysis report for this task.

***Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion People have different perspectives about whether children should be taught by their parents in the home or their teacher in the school to be good citizens in society. Whereas teachers give theory about being good in the community, I believe that their parents also become role model to practice their children. Therefore, position of teachers and parents are essensial to develop children. On the one hand, the teachers of children in the school teach theory which can be used to be good citizens because it looks up important to understand why people must have good action in the community. For example, when childern have good attitude, they can understand how to treat others well. With this reason, understanding about theory of good attitude is important to support being children of good attitude in the long term. On the other hand, the parents who have role to show their children are more essensial because they can teach through practice. And then, it can give more effect to obtain many friends. I take my friend as example, he who is taught by his parents about good attitude can get more friends in his community and be role model to others. As the result, the parents can influence their children to have good attitude in the society. In conclusion, I can understand why the teachers give theory and parents give practice to children because it makes up to support each others. While they understand how to treat other people, they also can get friend and can become role model in the community. So, both of them complete each other to make golden people in the society.

The first sentence in this presentation contains cut and paste information from the original presentation that will lead to a deduction based on the writer's inability to use alternative word references to create the thought presentation. The writer also creates a misrepresentation of the source of information by referencing that teachers and parents have presented these opinions when the opposite is true. There were no references to these groups so the premise of the discussion is now incorrect. So this will add to the task accuracy deductions of the exam taker. The writer's opinion is also confusing because he does not clearly represent which of the 2 opinions he actually supports. Response format wise the writer also confuses the discussion presentation since he does not use the correct discussion format for the presentation. The correct format is: Public opinion + explanation of supporting reasons + Writer's opinion (support or non-support) = Completely developed discussion paragraph The biggest mistake of this essay is that the writer explains his personal opinion in the concluding statement. As a task 2 essay, the writer's opinion cannot be presented in the last paragraph since that should only be recapitulating on the previous discussion points. The writer created an open ended essay that wil result in an automatic failing score due to the lack of proper concluding considerations in the final paragraph presentation. Next time, just summarize the previous discussion points. That way the correct concluding summary will be presented for scoring. As there are several ways to approach this discussion, the writer should make sure to learn about how to respond using either: 1. 2 public opinion discussion paragraphs + 1 writer's opinion paragraph 2. Public opinion + writer's opinion paragraph discussion presentations These are the 2 most acceptable discussion formats for this writing prompt. Remember to use a mix of 3rd person group and first person singular pronouns in the paragraphs to meet the GRA requirements.

***Topic: Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from?*** ## Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Leading a successful life is one of the imperative targets each individual wants. To reach that, some supporters believe in the importance of being adventurous while others attach great importance to detailed upcoming plans. I suppose that both of these factors are the backbone of anyone's brilliant achievements. Hundreds of reasons can be listed to support the decisive role of risk-taking and careful planning to succeed. In fact, when starting to actualize any plans, people are instinctively wary of numerous failures to cope with in the foreseeable future and then tend to delay their aspirations. Otherwise, if one individual accepts to venture, that means she is daring to act and cope with all hurdles during the execution of the plan. Besides, a detailed chain of action is also necessary to assess risks, minimize damages and shorten the path to success. Taking Coco Chanel as an example, despite living in a masculine society, she still renovated conventional outfits of women based on their own interests instead of men's as before. Her accomplishment had been done by meticulous planning from seeking potential customers to expanding various products. Nowadays, Chanel has overcome many objections to successfully becoming a powerful brand transforming the fashion world. From my perspective, in addition to drawing clear plans or encountering risks, passion is an overwhelming drive for people to reach their goals. Firstly, passion is what generates the desire for people to resiliently power over setbacks or sacrifice a massive amount of time to organize long-term strategies heading toward completing targets. Successful novelists, film directors, scientists, world-class athletes, and other people who have risen to the top of their fields all possess a deep motivation to work extraordinarily hard at something. For instance, Harland Sanders still started his own business at 65 years old after 1009 failed attempts thanks to being passionate about cooking. In conclusion, both internal and external factors such as knowledge, motivation, and environment affecting one's success are worth considering and improving. To achieve that, each person is required to be persistent and optimistic in any situation. *Note: I would be happy if you give me some feedback and even a band score as well. Thank you for spending time answering!*

The writer presented a personal opinion in the opening sentence instead of merely restating the given topic covering 2 point of view sentences. That first sentence will be considered a prompt deviation since it states a fact that is not supported nor implied by the original presentation. The writer will continously lose points for any references that is non-supported by the given prompt discussion. Play by the rules, interpet the topic using only the presented information. That way deductions can and will be avoided in terms of scoring considerations. Due to the way the discussion question was framed, the comparative discussion format that the writer opted to use is highly acceptable for the presentation. It can be said that success in life comes from both of the points of view presented. However, the writer used too many word to explain himself. In an actual test, this overexplanation will cause him to write an incomplete essay since he only has 40 minutes to complete the task based on scoring considerations. There are clear areas where the writer will receive point deductions based on all the rubic considerations since he did not bother to review and edit the work to lessen the scoring deductions. Merely writing without considering the scores for each section will result in a failing essay presentation. A long essay will always result in a failing presentation like this one.

***Some human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem while others think effective measures can be taken to improve this situation.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. In this day and age, it is very clear to see the impact of human activities on flora and fauna. Although the government have taken measures to improve the matter, there some believe that it is too late to reverse the consequences. But in my point of view, living creatures still could be saved, and we need to take effective remedies to make that happen. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that humans have been negatively affecting the ecosystem for a long time. Thousands of trees have been cut down by us for buildings, skyscrapers, and roads,..., the animals are being hunted to serve human interests, which leads to the extinction of some species. So, it is easy to understand why some people have a negative view of this problem. In fact, Vietnam used to have a large number of tigers but in recent years, there are only very few tigers still alive and most of them are being cared in nature conservation areas. On the other hand, it is not impossible to improve this issue. I firmly believe that there are a lot of things governments and individuals are capable of dealing with this. The authorities have taken measures to minimize anthropogenic activities, more and more movements to fight against harmful activities that impact the environment. For example, in Vietnam, due to improved public awareness, the forest cover ratio has increased from 38,7% in 2008 to 42% in 2020. In conclusion, this topic causes a lot of arguments but I personally think that we need to be responsibility to protect the only planet we have.

The prompt restatement contains inaccuracies because it comes across as a part of the writer's personal opinion instead of being an interpretation of the original prompt. That is because it makes factual claims that cannot be found / are not contained in the original prompt. It is best to never merge the personal point of view of the author with the restatement because of this problem. It would be better to save any personal insight for the writer's opinion section. Punctuation usage is a problem in this presentation. Specifically, the writer's confusion as to how punctuation marks are correctly used. Here is a big hint: Use it one at a time, never successively. That means, you cannot use a comma, ellipses, then a comma again. It does not make sense in the sentence structure and it does not make sense in terms of punctuation usage rules either. This error is an example of a reason why the essay will receive a failing GRA score. Instructions indicate that the writer has to compare his personal opinion against the public opinion. It is this back and forth comparison that creates the comprehensive discussion and clear writer's opinion (per point of view). What the writer has presented is a personal opinion focused essay which will limit the scoring potential of the essay. He only covered 1 out of 3 discussion expectations. The essay is not properly developed and will have limited scoring potential because of it.

## **The pictures below show the changes that took place at Laguna Beach from 1950 to 1990.** The maps illustrate the development of Laguna Beach from 1950 to 1990. Overall, it is clear that over the period given, more and more sophisticated facilities have been built there. In 1950, most of the areas were in a natural state. The laguna beach was located in the center of the area adjoining sand dunes in the northeast and woodland in the northwest. The only artificial facilities in Laguna Beach at that time were beach huts located in the north. Moreover, the huts and woodland were separated by a walking track. After 20 years, several areas have changed. The most significant change happened in the woodland area; the trees were cut then it was constructed to be a caravan park. Other developments were the huts that were replaced by villas and the path nearby was developed to be a road. However, the space of sand dunes and beach did not seem to have any transformation. In the final year, the facilities in Laguna Beach were more sophisticated. The villas were improved to become a hotel complete with a new pool alongside. Besides, the landscaped gardens were developed in the previous location of sand dunes, and a surf school was added to the beach area. Furthermore, the caravan park was reconstructed to be a car park. *

When a task 1 essay is written, careful consideration should be given to the time allowance of 20 minutes in relation to the word count. That means, the number of words should never go over 200 words. The writer must know how to deliver information using concise sentences. This is not a vocabulary test. This is an English expression test. That means, the writer should have the ability to report and analyze using proper words, geared towards the proper audience, within a short span of time and writing space. The writer has shown an inability to do this in the essay. Some of the problems of this essay include: 1. A lack of proper image representation through the division of map presentations. 2. An insufficient time reference in the summary overview due to the incorrect image number / year representation 3. Referencing information not acknowledge in the image (Laguna Beach? ) 4. Lack of clear year anchors per paragraph. Do not make the reader do the math. Use the years as provided These are but a few of the existing problems in the task presentation. The writer should work on improving his presentation based on these early presentation errors first. Fixing these should result in an improved written presentation in the next task. He should also make sure to use a timer when writing the practice test for word count considerations.

## The reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country The line graph illustrated the reasons of migrate to capital g a particular country between 2000 and 2015. Overal, as can be seen from the graph that employement and study increased sharply in the decades from 2000 to 2010. However, whereas employment was a minimal drop, study was a dramatic rise by year the 2015. There were a slight growth in family / friends and adventure in 15 years. The figures of employment and study were an considerable increase aproximately 5000, 48000 in 2005, respectively. And then, in the next 5 years, the numbers of these two reasons continued to climbed just over 91,000 and 55000 respectively in 2010. By the 2015, while it was a gradual decrease in employment, the figures of study was a sharp upward trend. The number of both employment and study on this period were the same about 88000. During the period from 2000 to 2015, there was a steady rise by 5000 from 10000 to 15000 in adventure. It can be clear that family/friends went up moderately roughly 22000 in decades, and rose gradually by 1000 in 2015.

While the writer wrote more than the expected word count, he did not properly format the paragraph presentations. A task 1 essay is always composed of : Par. 1: Summary overview + trending statement Par. 2: Reporting analysis 1 Par. 3: Reporting analysis 2 What he should have done was properly group the discussion paragraphs based on the number of data for comparison. He essentially began his report where the trending statement should have been present, negating the actual function of that presentation section. He cannot receive a scoring consideration for the trend when it is not properly presented in the report. I need to point out the lack of care in writing this report as well. He has extra letters that mean nothing a sentence, a few misspelled words here and there, and incorrect punctuation or missing punctuation marks in a few places. This is a very badly written essay that shows the writer cannot receive a passing GRA score since he cannot be bothered to review and revise / edit his work for grammar accuracy. The formatting error and GRA problems alone are enough to guarantee a failing score for this essay.

## fruit and vegetables consumption The given bar graph displays the amount of England who consumed five portions of fruit and vegetables in a day over the period from 2001 to 2008. Generally speaking, women's daily consumption amount of fruit and vegetables was the highest, followed by men and children respectively. Starting around 20% of women ate five portions of fruit and vegetables every day in 2001, then this number rose steadily through continuous years until reached its peak at nearly 35% in 2006 and eventually declined slightly to over 30% at the end of the period. There was a similar trend in the proportion of men and children who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK between 2001 and 2008. The first three years 2001,2002 and 2003 of men's figures witnessed a relatively same percentage of 17%, then it increased to a summit of 28% in both years 2006 and 2007 and dropped marginally by 1% to 27% in 2008. Similarly, the children's numbers began with just 12% from 2001 to 2003, then jumped to the highest point at 26% in 2007, and finished at 24% in 2008.

It is quite obvious that the writer does not have proper training and control over the way he creates his sentence structures. He often creates run-on sentences in each paragraph, which prevents his sentences and paragraphs from developing a sense of discussion clarity. While the effort of the writer in the development of the analytical presentation will not be missed by the examiner, he will not be able to give a high score for all the major scoring sections of the essay. This is because the writer does not know how to properly reference English words in relation to what he wishes to indicate or describe. Part of the GRA problem is that the writer also lacks English sentence rules knowledge. He uses proprietary or ownership references in the presentation when his aim was actually to present the plural form of the word. The best thing for the student to do at this point is to go back to his writing basics. Learn how to write simple English sentences first and in the process, he can also work on building his proper English vocabulary knowledge. The correct words must be used to make proper references in these types of reports and analytical presentations. This review is based on my way of analyzing and teaching my students. As I know that this student is being mentored by a different online tutor, he will do best to go back to that website and have that mentor continue in developing his IELTS writing styles. It is not my professional policy to meddle where a student already has a teacher. That is the reason why the image was also deleted from this post. We do not allow for indirect advertising of competitor sites at this forum. Ask your mentor to review your next task essay to avoid confusing your learning style. That will be best for you.

In a period of time of 12 years, we have seen critical changes in the cost and source of fish that enters the US. Regarding the value in billions of dollars, we can clearly see that it increases with the pass of time; having a starting cost of 6.57 dollars in 1988 and increasing nearly $2 billion of dollars four years ahead in 1992. At a slower pace - the double of years - there is a growth of approximately $2 billion dollars by the 2000. There were also changes regarding the places of origin of the fish. Originally, in 1988, Canada was the main exporting country of fish with 60% of the amount, far from China that only exported the 13% of fish that was consumed in the US. From 1992 to 2000, we can observe that other countries different from Canada and China, started considerably rising the amount of exported fish, going from the 27% in 1988 to almost twice, meaning 42% in the 2000. Overall, we can conclude that there were clear increases not only in the price of such food but also, the countries that export fish to the US in a period of 12 years. * *This is the task*

This report presentation will immediately receive a failing score due to the incorrect response format. It is missing the correct first paragraph in the form of a summary overview. The image/s are not properly identified, what the images are being used for, the length of time the coverage represents, the type of measurement... These are but a few of the task information requirements necessary for a passing preliminary score. It can accurately be said that this essay does not have the correct summary overview + trending statement format and will not be qualified for a passing score. Due to the missing summary presentation, the reader, who will not have any capacity to see the image, will be highly confused by the report, resulting in failing scores for the C+C and GRA sections. The writer clearly does not have any knowledge of proper task 1 formatting which is why he has not delivered the expectations of this report test at all. He must learn more about the task requirements before he proceeds with another practice essay. He will do well to learn from the other posts regarding similar tasks at this forum.

## Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? ***The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.*** Every society has its own set of rules for young people which are different from other societies' rules. However, most of the time, the similarity between these rules in different societies are much more than their differences. Many people believe that these rules are needed for young people and the improvement of society. However, my opinion differs from these people, and I believe that societies' rules are too strict in today's world for young people. First and foremost, societies expect young people to know what they want to do with the rest of their life early in life, and when they are still in school. If a young person changes majors or is not sure about what he wants to pursue as a career, society will look down on him. Since youngster has a lot of different options to choose from nowadays, it is harder for them to make a firm decision early in life, so I believe it is unfair to them to be looked down on if they are indecisive early in life and want to explore different options they have. I remember that my older brother was shamed for not knowing what he exactly wanted to do with his life when he was in his early 20s. Everybody would have compared him to his friend who decided to be a doctor early in life and had been working on his goal in his early 20s. Society's expectations put lots of pressure on my brother which led him to have depression for a long time. Secondly, because of the Internet and social media, societies compare young people to models and celebrities and expect them to look like them. This makes youngsters go through cosmetic surgery so they can meet social standards. Also, young people suffer from depression and social anxiety more than ever because of these pressures. Many of my classmates who are in their early 20s have been through cosmetic surgery, and most of them still feel that they are not enough which makes them depressed and anxious because they feel that they will not ever meet society's standards. In conclusion, in my opinion, societies' rules are too strict nowadays and expect a lot from young people. Societies expect young people to know what they want to do with their life and shame them if they are indecisive about their future goals. In addition, societies compare youngsters with models and celebrities and expect them to look like them, and this puts lots of pressure on young people.

Try to keep the writing to under 400 words. This should actually be completed within 300 words at the most since it does not need to be an overdiscussed or analyzed essay. Avoid the extreme word count by skipping the paraphrasing and opinion restatement paragraph. This is not an IELTS test so restating the topic before giving an opinion is not required. What is required is the immediate discussion presentation instead. Begin discussing the opinion in the first paragraph after establishing the first sentence as the opinion sentence. To show a more academically relevant set of writing skills, it would do the writer well to not use connectors such as first and foremost, secondly, and in conclusion. These are not score establishing references. The use of topic anchors for the opening, a direct topic sentence reference, allows the examiner to give better scores since the writer shows proper academic writing knowledge in his presentations. The examiner will still be looking for the exam taker's ability to connect his discussion paragraphs. That said, suddenly shifting to the effects of social media in the second discussion presentation creates a missing link between the two presentations. Note that the same paragraph circles back to depression in relation to society rules. That means depression is the cohesive link between the two paragraphs and should be the actual focus of both paragraphs. Once the connection between the strict rules and depresssion is created, the writer will have successfully argued his opinion in the presentation. Kindly review grammar rules as the writer shows a bit of a problem with punctuation usage. He needs to understand how to properly write plural word forms without an apostrophe after. That is because an apostrophe is only used when writing group ownership references. It is not used to indicate the plural form of a word. The plural form normally comes with a simple +S rather than +'S, which connotes ownership in all instances.

## kids and TV - pros & cons Television is a device that can afford many attractions for people which can be easily accessed from home. As an advanced technology, many people believe that television accord a lot of benefits, while others also consider that it has some risks and challenges, as a result. Particularly for children, the effect of watching television can influence many aspects of their life such as their behavior, their health, and their way of thinking. In this paper, I would like to explain the merits of watching television for children compared to the drawbacks. Admittedly, television provides various interesting programs for children. Cartoons are a prime example of television programs that are in demand by kids. This kind of entertainment is relatively cheaper than the others. Moreover, television can also be a medium for education. Several channels present enlightening programs that are beneficial and insightful. For instance, Laptop si Unyil is a program from TransTV that gives information about science and technology. Children can learn about the utilization of science and technology in their surroundings by watching it. Additionally, the attraction served by television is beyond its limits. This is possible to show the circumstances under the sea, the space sightings, or the original creatures from far away, which is difficult for them to see in person. This opportunity can increase the imagination of kids. However, the risks of watching television must be considered. The most remarkable consequence is the health of the eyes. Because television emits UV radiation, watching it for a long time and close distance can cause several eye problems like minus and cylinder. Another challenge is the addiction effect. It is easy for kids to lose track of time when they watch television. As a result, they do not have time for other activities. Furthermore, if children spend almost all their spare time watching television, it affects their behavior. The opportunity to connect with other people is lost and children become individual people. It endangers their ability to make networking that is needed for the future. More dangerous, if children watch television without control, they can not select what they see. Children possibly imitate a bad attitude that is shown such as fighting and bullying. To sum up, the benefits and risks of watching television will always be debated. But personally, I believe that the disadvantages of it are more so the parents need to strictly monitor their kids when they watch television.

As there are several practice essays related to the topic of television and its effect on children, it would have helped if the writer included the specific prompt that was being addressed by this essay. That is the only way for me to be sure that the correct response is being provided for the given topic and that no misinterpretation occurred in the response development. Without that, I will offer a general review of the work, without considering the appropriateness of the provided response. For starters, the essay is definitely overwritten and would not be possible to complete within the 40 minute time frame in an actual test setting. While being able to write 400 words in English is indeed admirable, the time allocation allows for no more than 300 words to be impressive to the examiner. The provided sentences are too long and do not properly represent the correct sentence mix as required for the test. The writer also uses limits his punctuation usage to mere exchanges of commas and periods, which show a limited sentence structure understanding and an inability to create other types of sentences using other punctuation marks. There are scoring considerations to be reflected in the writing, not just a word count. These other scoring elements are what will either increase or decrease the test results. The writer must utilize a 40 minute timer the next time he writes his practice essay. When the prompt asks the writer to discuss the benefits and merits of watching television, the last thing the writer should do is provide a personal opinion within the actual response presentation. In fact, the writer's opinion in this essay is not clear since he did not establish a summary outline of the benefit and drawback topics through a properly developed thesis statement. The first paragraph is lacking when it comes to meeting the accuracy requirements. For all its wordiness, it misses out on several key points for a concise and complete rundown paragraph. The writer included a personal opinion in the conclusion when it was not required by the discussion requirement. This has created a failing concluding paragraph because a new topic was introduced for discussion, but it was not fully developed in the actual essay. Additionally, the new topic created a prompt deviation as a personal opinion and suggestions are not necessary in this discussion. Hence, the essay closed without a proper summary conclusion and could automatically receive a failing mark due to the incorrect concluding statement format. The essay is missing the discussion recap as required in the reverse paraphrase conclusion.

***IELTS WRITING TASK 1*** ## UK acid rain emissions The line graph gives data about four sectors in terms of the amount of acid rain emissions that were produced in the UK over a period of 17 years. It is clear that the amount of acid rain emissions in the UK went down dramatically from 1990 to 2007. The most significant decrease was witnessed in the Electricity, Gas and Water supply sector. In 1990, around 3.3 million tonnes of acid rain emissions came from Electricity, Gas and Water supply. The Transport and Communication sector was responsible for 0.7 million tonnes of emissions while the Domestic sector produced about 0.6 million tonnes. Just over 2 million tonnes of acid rain gases came from Other Industries. Emissions from Electricity, Gas and Water supply fell considerably to only 0.5 million tonnes in 2007, a decline of almost 3 million tonnes. Whereas acid rain gases from the Domestic and Other Industries sector fell slightly, the Transport and Communication sector saw a modestly increase in emissions, hit a record-high of 1 million tonnes in 2005. *

The writer uses long sentences with combined information presentations too often in this essay. It creates a cluttered presentation that does not really inform the reader in a useful manner. Instead, the writer presents forgettable information since each sentence overpresents it. Every sentence should only refer to one or 2 connected information bits. Never throw in all of the information into a single sentence due to the possibility of being given a failing preliminary GRA score. Every paragraph in this task will do well with a 3-5 sentence presentation as advised by most IELTS experts who come from the native speaker realm. The trending statement should not have mentioned only 3 out of 4 in the list. It became an incomplete enumeration in the process. Rather, the writer should only have used 2 sentences in this section by choosing to report only on a single high (the hightest) and low (the lowest) point, rather than saying that all 3 have the same trend. That is not a trending statement but a reporting sentence. Learn the difference in the presentation structure. A statement of fact cannot be be used in this presentation because the line graphs depict varying measurement levels that play within a specific range. Instead of stating information as factual, the writer should use an estimation for the presentation instead. That will help show that the line graph measurements were not definite in portrayal but rather, fluctuating in reference.

## taking a gap year - opinion essay **In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.** In some nations, high school graduates are more favored to have a gap year before following higher education. This essay will discuss both sides of this trend. On the one hand, taking a sabbatical year before university is proved to be beneficial to youngsters in various aspects. Firstly, despite having finished twelve years of compulsory education, there are always a lot of students who still have no clue about their future careers. Therefore, it is advisable to have a year off to engage in a wide range of different activities, from volunteering to picking up part-time jobs, which may help students to discover where their interests lie, what their talents are, and how they should use them to benefit the community. Secondly, a gap year is also regarded as one of the most precious opportunities for teenagers to enjoy their youth. Adolescents can spend this period tightening their bond with their beloved ones, going on long-term trips, as well as doing whatever things they have always been longing for. In this way, they may compensate for the past twelve consecutive years of struggling with their obligation of studying. On the other hand, gap-year takers must consider several potential drawbacks. Firstly, attending universities one year later might put students at risk of falling behind their friends who go to universities right after high school graduation. Consequently, they are more likely to suffer from peer pressure, which may have a detrimental impact on their mental well-being. Secondly, extended traveling during a gap year can be highly expensive. As a result of this, teenagers will inevitably have to live on a tight budget when they enter university life. In conclusion, it is always a universal truth that everything has its two sides, and taking a gap year is no exception. Therefore, it is advisable for students to take all the pros and cons into their consideration before deciding whether a gap year is essential to them. ------------------------------------------------------- *Note: I would be really grateful to receive feedback and corrections from you!*

The prompt restatement is acceptable and serves its purpose of delivering an originally worded version of the original topic. However, the writer's opinion, which is scored along with the prompt restatement cannot be found in the introductory paragraph. There are 2 reasons why this is a problem: 1. It does not offer the discussional foundation for the writer's opinion. 2. It does not provide a summary of topics for the upcoming 2 discussion paragraphs. Both of these are criteria that will help the examiner give the writer a preliminary score based on task accuracy and opinion clarity. Without it, the writer is clearly missing the writer's opinion requirement in the first paragraph. twelve years of compulsory education Use only general references to an academic study period. Different countries have different study years for the elementary and secondary years. Keep it general to create the idea that you are not referring to any specific study term for students. The reasoning paragraphs are not balanced in terms of discussion presentation. One would consider the advantages paragraph to be better developed that the disadvantages paragraph. Try to keep a balance within the presentation. Use only 5 sentences at the most to discuss each aspect. Learn to create connected discussions in each paragraph so that the balance can be achieved. It is when the reasons are discussed individually that these imbalance in presentations occur. As for the concluding summary. It is definitely a conclusion but it is missing the summary of the previous discussion points. It has to present the topic reasons to create the correct reverse paraphrase requirement. That means, the writer has an acceptable, but not well scoring concluding paragraph in this case.

## The diagram depicts how smoked fish is produced. Looking at the first glance, it is apparent that the manufacturing process of smoked fish contains twelve steps, which begins with catching fish in the ocean and culminates in selling the final prodcust at fishshop. At first, the huge amount of fish is caught by the net in the offshore area then it is transported to the port by specialized boat. From this point, fish is frozen in a functional container and then later undergone a thawing process inside fresh water. After that, thawed fish is cut open to get cleaned Those oceanic creatures are then soaked in the solution of salt water and yellow coloring. After a specific amount of time, the fish turns yellow and is then smoked in specialized device. The prodcuts of the previous step are then packed into carton boxes and frozen under 0 celcius degree. Frozen boxes are then stored in cold condition and distributed to retailing stations such as fishshop sell.

The summary overview should be composed of at least 2 sentences. The presentation lacks a proper diagram identification which should have been referenced along with the image type. It should also contain a second sentence that would explain the importance of the diagram to the analysis/reporting process. The trending paragraph should have only been a trending sentence that was merged into the summary overview since the trend highlights the discussion path for the reporting paragraphs. It would be better to not refer to an action that would need a look or glance at the image. This is a practice that is unacceptable in this presentation as it defeats the purpose of the analytical report. The reader needs to understand how the writer will explain the image content, without the need to look at the image. The writer should have the skill to academically explain the illustration as well since that is a college level writing requirement for most UK, US, Canada, students. It is also required for other European and English speaking nations that accept foreign students in the universities. As far as explaining the procedures, I am confident that the writer was able to explain the procedure well since I understood the process, even though the sentence structure is not as well written as it should be. The writer is capable of delivering coherent thought processes and that is very important to the final grade assignment of the task.

## The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. The maps aim to illustrate an industrial area in the town of Noriton and the future changes that is going to take place to develop the site. As can be clearly seen from the two graphs, more roads and a small roundabout will be built connecting to the currant roundabout. Also, the industrial area will be replaced with residential area and recreational area. One of the most visible changes is new roads are going to be erected. Considering the street that has been located in the east of the town, a T- shaped road will be built connecting the farmland across the river. A small road is being considered to be placed in the north west of the roundabout. Looking in the south of the town, another roundabout is going to be built connecting with the main one. Another noticeable alteration is the transformation of the industrial area. Factories along the street will be converted to houses. In addition to the new streets, new residential area is going to be built along those. The farmland will be relocated to the east of the town and new facilities such as school, playground, medical centre and shops will be places between the houses and roads. * *MAPS* * *MAPS*

The writer is confusing the image references. First he indicates the plural form of maps, which is correct since that is what was provided for this report analysis. However, he contradicts this in the next paragraph by indicating a graph. A graph is most definitely different from a map. The incorrect word reference will produce a failing score in 3 sections: LR, C+C, and GRA. All of which have to do with the accuracy of referencing within the report. It is also not advisable to indicate an image position within the report, nor should the reader be asked to look at the image. The assumption is that the report is accurately based on the given image, which the reader does not have access to. An accurate report will never ask the reader to look at an image because the report is an written image of the picture provided. This is the skill that the examiner is looking for.

***In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ?*** ## **Do you think this a positive or negative situation ?** In recent years, an increasing number of individuals consider it more crucial to own a house rather than rent one in some countries. In my concern, people tend to gain more advantages from owning a home rather than renting one. For many years, in some countries, owning a house is a symbol of safety, especially for people in Asia where having their own house is a big milestone for them. To illustrate, in Vietnam, when people began their working life, saving money to purchase their own house is the ultimate goal because it is the fundamental factor in building a stable family. Additionally, as a property owner, a house is also a long-term investment since housing prices tend to skyrocket each year. For instance, a small studio apartment in District 1, Ho Chi Minh City after 5 years from 2017, doubled its price since then. In this case, people can make a lot of profit just by selling it and investing in another one. On the other hand, while having our own house brings us a stable life, people who rent a home will have to face numerous problems. Firstly, when people rent a house, the rent expense will depend largely on the landlord and the economic situation at that time. Furthermore, most rentals did not give renters much control over the house, such as changing the house's structure or paint colors. However, that is not to say renting a house does not have its benefits. Since people want to live in good accommodation in the urban city but the problem following is the price to owning a house is too expensive. That is when renting comes as a great solution. To conclude, I strongly believe that owning a home is better than renting one because it positively impacts the owner. Therefore, the final decision on buying or renting still depends on the readiness of each.

The writer has a fixation on referencing a time frame although none is mentioned in the first topic version. This is an inappropriate writer added piece of information that creates an inaccurate topic interpretation. it is of the utmost scoring importance that no alterations are made to the original information presentation. Do not include unsupported statements that cannot be verified by the original source. Considered a topic alteration, this piece of writer included thought will lower the task accuracy score. As for the opinion segment, the writer would have had a better scoring first paragraph had he used the following complete writer's opinion instead: I strongly believe that owning a home is better than renting one because it positively impacts the owner. There are a few reasons why this would have made for a better opinion presentation: 1. It creatively implies that the writer views home ownership as a positive development. 2. It allows the examiner to get a clearer opinion basis from the writer in reference to owning a home. The above presentation helps create a stronger reference to the upcoming discussion paragraphs. There are however, 2 points for improvement in the same sentence: 1. There is no need for a strong / emotional response since the writing instruction does not ask the writer to quantify the degree of his opinion. 2. Including the 2 positive reasons in summary form would have created an excellent overview of the upcoming discussion, leading to the clearest possible writer's opinion reference and basis for task accuracy scoring. Since the writing instruction does not call for a comparative analysis of the two sides, the writer will lose points for using the incorrect discussion format. The questions provided demanded that the explain only his positive support of the opinion. For every sentence topic or paragraph that does not support that format, the writer will lose C+C and TA scores. That is because he will be confusing the reader who will then wonder if he truly believes this is a positive development and, the discussion as presented will remain under developed or improperly discussed since it does not fully explain the reasons to support the writer's previously stated opinion. Always remember, a writer should never contradict himself in these essays unless a clear compare and contrast discussion question or writing instruction is provided.

## fast food consumption by mauritian teens The graph compares the consumption of 3 categories of fast food, namely hamburgers, pizza and fried chicken by teenagers in Mauritius over the course of 30 years, starting in 1985. Overall, it is clear that the amount of fast food consumed experienced an upward trend with the exception of Pizza which declined significantly. However, this type of food registered the highest figure in the first year of the 30-year period. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that in 1985, hamburgers were consumed 10 million times, while pizza and fried chicken were consumed 60 million times and about 5 million times respectively. Over the following 25 years, the consumption of fried chicken and hamburgers rose to 60 million times, but the figure for pizza fell steeply by around 40 million times. From 2005 to 2015, the consumption of hamburgers increased steadily by about 20 million times, and fried chicken consumption stayed at 60 million times in the first five years of this period, before rising slightly between 2010 and 2015. By contrast, pizza saw a decline in consumption of approximately 20 million times over the same 10-year period. By 2015, pizza consumption had dropped 10 million times, while the respective times that fried chicken and hamburgers are consumed had risen to about 62 million times and 70 million times. *

The summary overview is based on individual sentence requirements. That means, it follows the one sentence, one idea structure. This is the format that is needed if the exam taker wishes to meet the GRA standards for the test, specifically the clarity of thought presentation. The clarity of thought also being part of the C+C scoring consideration. When there is more than 1 thought presented in a sentence, this signifies a run-on sentence and will result in low scores in the previously mentioned sections. A long sentence does not properly represent the simple, complex, and compound sentence mix necessary for a better scoring essay. Kindly remember to separate the topic ideas per sentence next time to gain a better summary score. the highest figure So what was the lowest figure? Complete the trending paragraph. This is incomplete presentation. A task 1 essay needs comparison presentations for each relevant reference. In this case, the high and low of the first year should be present or, it may also be skipped totally as only 1 trend is required anyway. As a trending sentence, it can be merged with the summary overview for a more comprehensive summary score. Rather than implying that the reader should examine the graph (looking at the graph), rephrase that to indicate that an analysis has been made instead (A deep analysis of the figure indicates...). That way the incorrect reference that asks the reader to look at an image is avoided. There is only a single image presented in this task so it does not warrant a 4 paragraph presentation. Such presentations are used for 2 or more image discussions / comparisons. In this case, the trending statement should follow the standard merged with summary overview format, as it should be for all presentations in task 1. The 2 or 3 paragraphs must represent the analysis of the report instead of using one paragraph for the trend alone. That is how the exam taker shows the examiner that he knows how to write an English college level, rather than representing the ESL and IELTS review class formats.

## As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities It is argued that organisations have social responsibilities along with generating profit. In my opinion, I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. On the one hand, corporations focusing on making money is plausible for a combination of reasons. First and foremost, companies require stable financial support in order to establish products and projects. For instance, during COVID, numerous businesses, namely Chanel and H&M, ran up against bankruptcy in many regions owing to the lack of income to manufacture and proceed with their plans. Furthermore, for organisations to operate smoothly, staff need to be paid rightly and accordingly to contracts, as it will be a considerable motivation for them to put their best efforts into their jobs. Hence, profit is the utmost necessity to encourage staff to work efficiently and conscientiously. As a result, companies will be able to function properly and avoid falling apart. On the other hand, I believe that businesses are also in charge of making contributions to society. The primary reason is that they play a substantial role in developing the economy of a community. Therefore, organisations are required to take their impact on the society into consideration and grow their business profoundly in order to bring back income. Moreover, businesses exist owing to the permission of governments and consumers. So it is undeniable that they should provide effective and helpful activities for the population in return, such as establishing scholarships, employment opportunities, and charities. To sum up, whereas it is essential for companies to make money on the purpose of operating, I believe they should also be responsible for public activities and contributions.

Do not exaggerate the prompt restatement. There is no argument presented so it is incorrect to refer to the idea presentation as such. There is only one idea presented, so it is not proper to refer to an argument since that would require the presentation of 2 opposing opinions in the presentation. Since an opposing idea is not provided in the original, the restatement topic should only be a simple and relaxed idea presentation. There should also be 2 supporting presentations for the writer's opinion to complete the writer's opinion score. While an opinion is presented, it lacks clarity because there are no ideas to back it up in short form. The discussion presentation has an incorrect format. This is not a comparison essay so there is no reason to defend an opposing side. The only important aspect of this discussion is how well the writer can use 2 connected reasons to explain the valdity of his opinion. In this case, the lack of a secondary reason will qualify this essay as under developed since the unrelated discussion paragraph will not be given any scoring consideration. All the reasons presented must related and support one another over 2 paragraphs. A writer's opinion is only considered clear, qualified, and acceptable if it strongly supports the writer's opinion. When the writer delivers 2 opposing explanations, it creates a dubious opinion and eradicates the clarity of the writer's opinion as first presented.

## the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane A glance at the diagram illustrates how sugar is generated from sugar cane. Overall the process of making sugar involves 7 main stages beginning with the growing period of sugar cane and ending with the drying as well as cooling sugar. Firstly, it takes 12 to 18 months for sugar cane to be fully grown. Then it is collected by farmers or machines. Once the sugar cane has been harvested, it is then crushed into juice. After having been crushed, the juice is purified in a filter, which is made of limestone. When the juice is completely purified, it is transferred to an evaporator where it is boiled by heat, then transform into syrups. The next step is taking the sugar crystals out of syrups, which is done by a centrifuge. Finally, those, which are separated from the syrups, are then put into a container to be dried together with cooled.

The essay is too short to be considered for full scoring considerations. Providing only the minimum word count will not help increase the scoring allowance of the essay. The total essay should number between 175 - 200 words. Never instruct the reader to look at the image either. That is because this is a reporting essay that explains the procedure to the reader. There cannot be "7 main stages". There can only be one main stage in this case, with other "manufacturing stages" involved. Such a mistake in reference presentation shows that the writer does not have a good grasp of English words, its meaning, and how these are used in sentence structuring. boiled by heat Another incorrect grammar reference. Boiling is, by default, done by heat and is self explanatory to the reader. I believe that the exam taker should focus on his vocabulary development and how these are used in sentences. juice syrups Incorrect usage of S v. P. Once a reference is made in singular at the start, it cannot suddenly be changed into plural form towards the end. Overall, the problems in the essay involve sentence structure and correct word usage. These should be the focus of the student's ESL classes so that he can improve his writing skills.

Hello, I would like feedback on my essay; grammar, vocabulary, quality of ideas, organization, etc. Score estimates are welcome ## GRE Issue question **Question** All too often, companies hire outside consultants to suggest ways for the company to operate more efficiently. If companies were to spend more time listening to their own employees, such consultants would be unnecessary. **Response** The success of a company depends on the efficiency of its operations and the efficiency of the operations is determined by the employees. Therefore, one might be tempted to conclude that to improve efficiency companies should spend more time listening to their own employees rather than consultants. But that's not true. To begin with, a typical company has many divisions. There's the finance department, a legal department, a department to look over the goods and services produced by the company, and a human resource department, to name a few. Now, employees in one department are alien to the working of other departments. Employees may share their own grievances but since they don't know how things are done in other departments they cannot even pinpoint the root of the problem let alone solve it. This brings us to the issue of addressing the problems faced by employees. Suppose a company does a survey and is somehow able to locate the root cause of the problem. Now, each department will have its own take on the solution based on what's best for "them" and not the company. Even on an individual level, because people are different and have different backgrounds, everyone will be pitching solutions based on their level of expertise but no one has the experience of solving such a problem that affects the whole company. So there won't be any effective solution. Another major drawback of not hiring a consultant is that some employees might withhold their opinions due to the fear that they might get fired if they speak something against the company. Even if they are to anonymously write them this can still lead to acrimony and friction between some employees that will ruin the working environment. All this will eventually lead to the dysfunction of operations. But this could be avoided if the company hires an outside consultant. Consultants, being professionals, know how to handle such sensitive issues yet at the same time deliver the correct message. They help firms to operate more efficiently and so have experience solving such large problems. They know how to approach the employees, they study the operations of each department and analyze them carefully to identify the cause and find the correct solution. Yet one may spend time listening to the employees when the consultant seems to have little experience in the firm's field. Consultants working together with employees, and listening to their opinions is, in general, a good practice because ultimately it's the employees who will be doing the work. In essence, companies should hire outside consultants to suggest ways for the company to operate more efficiently. They may also spend time listening to their own employees, but a consultant has experience in handling such issues, and therefore is invaluable and must be hired.

For some reason, the concluding presentation of this essay is far stronger and more convincing that the opening paragraph that was offered as an introduction to the topic. The introduction missed out on one important aspect, the focal point of the discussion which is "the importance of hiring a consultant to improve operating efficiency". Yes, operation efficiency was addressed, but the consultant was not. It created an incomplete basis for the succeeding discussion. It makes the next few paragraphs confusing up to the point where the consultant discussion finally entered the analysis of the situation. Even then, the writer struggled to make his explanations understood by the reader. Maybe because he did not follow the discussion format as laid out by the topic presentation. Had he written the essay with the correct focus from the start, the discussion would not have been scattered in the final writing.

## How Australians and Canadians get their news? The pie chart shown above illustrates and compares the ways citizens of Australia and Canada access the news. In general, we can see that there's some similar patterns and also some significant differences between each country. To look into details, 36% of Canadian citizens prefer to go online while in Australia there is a significant more amount of people that use the internet which is 52% ,more than half, of all Australians. This makes a 16% difference between each country. Another method of learning about news that is similarly popular in both countries is watching the news on TV. 40% of Canadian and 37% of Australian citizens prefer TV, which makes a 3% gap between them. According to the chart we can clearly radio and print are the less preferred ways accessing news. 14% of Canada uses prints and 7% use radio, making radio the lesser preferred between the two. Comformably it is in the same order in Australia too, with print being 7% and radio taking up only 2%. Overall, it can be confidently said while people of both countries share similar methods of accessing news however the number of people using them varies by each country. It's clear the usage of modern ways (such as internet and TV) are used more commonly than others. \*\*i know i'm not good with academic language so i would appreciate constructive criticism.

The first thing you have to note about a task 1 essay is that it is unnecessary and actually frowned upon to note the position of the image within the summary overview or reporting paragraphs. That is because the reader is assumed to not have a copy of the image and therefore, incapable of looking at the image directly to compare your reporting to. The target audience will simply have to take your word for it. So do not mention the image position at all. When it comes to pronoun usage, it is best to not make any reference at all since this is a general audience presentation. There is no need to use first, second, or third pronouns, singular or otherwise since this is supposed to be an unbiased analytical presentation rather than an opinion discussion. Just report the facts in a straightforward manner. Do not say "According to..." because the chart is not saying anything. While it is a reference point for the discussion, the use of "according to" shows a limitation in the writer's knowledge of English writing rules and general word usage. Pay more attention to the target audience word usage instead. For example, use an academic tone for university professors, a professional tone for business executives, etc. Task 1 essays do not need to have more than a 200 word count. That is because the focus of the essay is on a quick reporting style rather than a heavily analytical one. Do not overcompose any of the paragraphs either. There needs to be a balanced 3 paragraph discussion. Rather than placing the trending statement at the end, which is still acceptable, it is usually more effective for task clarity purposes to place that as a merged presentation within the summary overview. That way more focus can be made to explaining and comparing the content of the image over a 2 paragraph setting. This is not a bad effort though. Just remember the corrections and observations made above and the next essay should come across as better written and developed.

***The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990.*** ## Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. The three given charts give information about the average of schooling, the rate of scientists ad technicians spending on research and development in developing and industrialized countries over the period of ten years starting from 1980. The years of schooling in developing countries and industrialized countries were over 2 and 8 years respectively in 1980. After ten years, the figures for the engagement in education in industrialized countries was nearly as three times as the statistic in developing countries. In the second paragraph, the number of scientists and technicians in developing witnessed a marginal change, from 10 in 1980 to approximately 17 people in 1990. In contrast, there was a considerable increase in the proportion of scientists and technicians in industrialized countries, was increased by 30 people in the given period. Finally, the cost spent on research and development experienced the downward trend which reduced from over 50 billions to in excess of 20 billions in 1990. In contrast, the proportion of allocation money to study and development rose to 350 US billions which doubled the cost in 1980

The writing instruction can be vague aboutthe image reference. It can give oonly a general description since the examiner will be scoring the writer on the correct and specific image qualifiers in the summary overview. That means the writer should be more detailed in his short report. The last thing the writer is expected to present is a cumulative topic sentence. Each summary must be composed of at least 3 sentences. This is based on the single idea per sentence requirement of the C + C section. Failure to do so results in a confusing sentence presentation since it has no clear central idea focus. It will recieve a failing GRA score for that paragraph as well. The summary is also missing a trending reference so the essay cannot be considered completely developed. Missing important points affect the task and response format accuracy scores. Incorrect paragraph formatting will also affect the final score. A multiple image analysis should be properly grouped or divided into 2 analysis paragraphs. This essay could have been better presented. The writer should have made an effort to meet the correct formatting requirements to achieve a decent score.

**Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.** Parenting has long been a major topic regarding both scholarly research and daily discussion for decades. Despite the fact that there is an increasingly popular opinion claiming that letting children have a complete decision on daily routines such as meal, styling, and amusement will eventually trigger negative individualism, other people are prone to believe that independent decision making is crucial for nurturing children more comprehensively. As a matter of fact, decision making is largely considered a compulsory skill regardless of various personality tendencies and thinking patterns. And not to mention that decision making is still a difficult task for grown-up individuals, it is becoming more and more significant to teach children how to make decisions on their own for the ultimate purpose of achieving self-sufficient and self-dependent at later ages. Indeed, the most optimal approach to illustrate to children the nature of decision making is to initially imply it in their simple daily routines. In other words, the exposure of children toward the choices of what to eat, what to wear, and what to play will concretely form a solid foundation for them to retain consistency in further life-long issues which requisite decisive characteristics. On top of that, individuals who constantly put themselves first and only care about themselves while ignoring the well-being of others are more likely a result of failure in parenting regarding numerous aspects from an early age, rather than being affected by the opportunities to conduct choices that are passed on by their parents. Common belief indicates that children are a real reflection of their parents and the environment in which they grew up in. For instance, if a mother or father has a frequent tendency in behaving selfishly toward the surrounding people, there would be a significant likelihood that a child will grow up being selfish and lack sympathy as well as possess a low level of emotional intelligence. Nurturing patterns and influences from parents' behaviors are the key drivers that contribute greatly to a children's personality and attitude toward the surrounding environment in the future, rather than the early decision-making opportunities that are held accountable for the mentioned controversy. According to the above analysis, I incline to believe it should not be certain that children's decision making on simple routines will bring along negative individualism in the upcoming ages. Alternatively, encouraging independent decision making will surprisingly cater for a more comprehensive outcome regarding self-sufficient and self-dependent.

The first error that must be addressed in this essay is the over-writing. 402 words is 102 words over the suggested 300 word count. This is indicative of a practice test that was completed without the benefit of using a40 minute timer. If a timer had been used, then the writer would know his actual mitten word count limitation. There are inaccuracies to be found in this essay as well. The irrelevant first sentence deals with information that is not shared by the original. This is going to be considered a score deductible topic deviation. While the proceeding sentence properly represents the given discussion points, the missing (required) writer's opinion will be another negative score for the paragraph. It should be obvious by now that an over-written essay that does not meet the writing requirements will not get a passing score. Response format correctness is a major scoring consideration Do that improperly and a failing score will be the end result. Scores are based on writing compliance, not the word count. Opinions presented are also not correctly discussed. There is only a singular point of view present were comparative viewpoints are needed. Wherever Some people and Other people keywords are used in a presentation, the public V. personal analysis must be used for each prompt stated opinion. By providing a clear personal opencon in the conclusion, The writer mistakenly created an open-ended essay. The lack of a concluding summary will result in an overall failing score due to task writing inaccuracies.

## Around The World, Many Adults Are Working From Home, And More Children Are Beginning To Study It has been suggested that nowadays, more and more children tend to learn knowledge at home instead of going to schools or extra classes, and so do adults, owing to the development of technology as well as its inexpensive cost and accessible functions. In my opinion, this trend would create certain positive sides but some negative effects as well. On the one hand, it can be obviously seen that technology evolves leading to independence and increasing children's self-studying skills, which are necessary features to improve their mind-skills and also their independent perception. With the development of technological devices, children can easily study with a mass of knowledge and a world of resources updated and added daily and have to pay no fee. They may learn lots of things, not only some limited subjects at school but also life skills, languages, argumentative skills, ...etc, which they are not taught in some places like schools, extra classes. They totally can gain success with their fundamental possibilities as much as other students who enter studying levels at school. For instance, according to the New York Times, the percentage of students who are not going to school but can go into leading companies is the same as those who completed universities or high school degrees in 2017. On the other hand, there will also be some negative points in self-studying at home for children. Opting to learn from home means students need to considerably choose the correct resources to study among a huge number of resources on the Internet. Choosing the right or wrong ways and sources to learn from may exert directly bad or good effects on your knowledge and result in the preciseness and accuracy of the information you absorb every day. In conclusion, thanks to technological development, we have a cheaper and more accessible way to learn knowledge, but we also need to take consideration carefully.

The prompt restatement is confusing. It incorrectly implies that children and adults both benefit from attending school online. ' As far as the orginal prompt is concerned, these different age groups represent 2 different categories in relation to tech usage. Children use it for school, adults use it for work. That is the clear separation of topic focus which the writer incorrectly restated. That is a definite task inaccuracy that will reduce the score for the paragraph. The writer's opinion is incorrect as well. Since this a single opinion essay and not a compare and contrast writing platform, the writer will be seen as not meeting the response and writing format. He does not provide an accurate opinion and discussion presentation since he used an extent / comparative explanation. These are the lasons a passing score will not be applied to this presentation. Learn the different response format types and how these are applied to specific prompts / writing instructions in order to meet the task and response needs of the essays.

## benefits and drawbacks of learning a foreign language early It is believed that Letting children who start studying a foreign language at primary school is a better option than letting those start studying at secondary school. Whether it may have some negative sides, but I think that this trend will offer more benefits than drawbacks. On the one hand, beginning learning at foreign language at primary school brings more benefits for children. Children in this stage can learn a new language easier in secondary school. In this stage, young children have an ability which helps them be ready for studying the new language, and this ability will be lost while growing up. Furthermore, by getting them to study at this early stage can help them get used to it faster than the one who participated in studying in secondary school. In the future, they will become an expert while others just know about it. Moreover, while studying in primary school, they will have more opportunities, due to the benefits of knowing a foreign language such as having a foreign friend. Nevertheless, there are a number of drawbacks associated with this opinion. First,Motivation is one of the factors that can affect the ability of studying a new language, so forcing young children that they are not keen on learning a foreign language can make their whole life of studying become less interesting, or even hating learning another language. Second, primary school is the worst environment for learning a language if you choose it in the wrong way. Children who are 6 to 10 years old are not conscious that speaking two languages can play an important role in the future, so they will study it in an ineffective way which will affect their classmates, too. In conclusion, starting studying in primary school has many more advantages while others studying in secondary school despite certain disadvantages.

The writer shows an unfamiliarity with the writing requirements of the task 2 essay. There are 2 reasons why this would be judged as a failing discussion by the examiner: 1. The writer does not show a clear and supportable opinion in his writer opinion sentence (I think...) He must be precise, convincing and capable of fully choosing one side of the discussion to defend. 2. The discussion paragraphs compare the 2 opinions, which indicates again that the writer does not have any clear opinion regarding the discussion topic, regardless of his seemingly single opinion statement in the first paragraph. The phrase "I think" negated that clarity. The final reason that this essay cannot get a passing score is the lack of word count in the summary conclusion. It is less than the required 40 words or 3 sentence presentation. It does not offer a proper short form presentation of the previous (but incorrect) discussion presentation. In order to properly write a response, the writer must always choose one side of the discussion to support in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. This is usually the side that he knows more about so that he can discuss his opinion in a clear and strong manner.

## advice not control Some people say that kids should always follow their parent's advice. However, others claim that it is not all right. In my opinion, children should obey their parents' advice when they are young, but they should become independent and have to be responsible for their actions when they get older. Firstly, parents are fulling mature because they have more experience in life. Moreover, young children are innocent and they do not know the difference between right and wrong, so the parent is the best person to teach them this. For instance, the kid does not know how to behave with other kids and other people. Therefore, parents should be the ones who can talk to them friendly and give some wise advice. Secondly, when children get older, they should make their own decisions because they have more responsibility and become mature enough. Life is more modern a new generation has to face a variety of challenges and problems with which their parents have never faced before. So the parent's advice sometimes will be wrong. For example, kids have a desire to become a footballer when their parents want them to become a doctor. The children cover with the love of their parents, and the children when growing up need to get out of this area to make their own decisions. If not, they might grow up to be less independent. After considering all of the reasons mentioned above, I have concluded that parents need to give young children advice on morals and safety, but not control and tell them how to live when they get older.

The restatement is acceptable. The writer's opinion basis is clear in his reasoning summary. What is missing from this paragraph for it to become a high scoring prompt restatement + writer's opinion then? Exactly that, the writer's opinion. He forgot to respond to the "extent" question prior to presenting his reasoning basis. The paragraph is not fully incorrect. It just needs an adjustment to the reasoning response such as: "I disagree with this opinion to the extent that children should only follow their parents advice when they are young. They must..." Always incorporate the key response requirement in the writer's opinion to fully meet the writing response format for that paragraph. It not only helps to create a very clear opinion, it also allows for a stronger thesis statement to follow it. The concluding paragraph created a prompt deviation since it does not do a proper wrap up of the preceding presentation. Rather, it changed the discussion slant and opened a new avenue of discussion to be presented. The lack of a proper summary presentation and the presentation of a topic that is not connected to the given question will result in either a partially lower passing score or a total failing score, depending upon how the examiner views the writing. Normally, when there is no proper summary conclusion, the essay receives a failing score.

***People are living in a 'throwaway society', using things for a short time and then throwing them away.*** ## What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to? In the contemporary world, humanity dwells in a "throw-away " lifestyle where they have been purchasing a lot and steering things away just after short-term use. This essay makes an effort to reveal the reasons and effects of this phenomenon. It goes without saying that the development of buy-and-throw culture derives from various contributors. Advertising serves as a fundamental factor behind the emergence of material society. Most of advertisements have appealing contents stimulated people to spend their money on new products that have an array of distinctive features and eye-catching designs. This trigger a consequence that many purchasers waste their financial on pointless purchases such as technology devices and fashions that will likely be alternated by latest versions whereas it still in a good condition. A more significant culprit results in the enhancement income among people, they are more willing to afford for new products, which are more fashionable, more modern and more convenient, rather than keep old ones. It is not to mention the fact that a large quantity of goods is manufactured and sold on the market with a reasonable price, which fosters customers' purchase rates. Unfortunately, this tendency is bound to exert a number of detrimental impacts on individuals and the environment. Those who frequently get on the bandwagon run the risk of going deeply into debt if they continue to buying the newest, most novel products whenever they want. As an instance of consumers who succumb to the gravity of newly launched, gradually, this habit of overspending sink them into unable to meet their liabilities. Environmental degradation, which have been severely affected, is another outcome of this phenomena. Every item that is discarded becomes trash, and the majority of them are dumped in landfills, aggravating the world's waste dilemma. Eventually, a fraction of garbage makes its way to the ocean and leads to marine pollution and directly destabilizing marine ecosystems. In conclusion, the prevalence of adverts as well as the rise in disposable income motivate buyers to shift their needs more frequently. This pattern induce a variety of personal budget problems and exert long-term effects human habitat. But the time has come for us to step forward and think about the future of our planet and take steps to revert the damage. -Thank you for reading my essay- It's my pleasure if you can give me a feedback

This is only a 4 paragraph essay that the writer has opted to try to (unsuccessfully) expand to a 5 paragraph essay. The prompt restatement fails to clearly refer to the original topic in a clear manner. He had difficulties in rewriting the original prompt which shows a lack of proper English language uses and an inability to write coherent English sentences which will lead to problematic scores in the relevant sections. Even though the essay is quite long, it does not really show that the writer can write coherent and cohesive paragraphs. He does not know how to use related reasoning topics to clearly effect a coherent and cohesive paragraph discussion. Only 2 related reasons and 2 related effects should be present in this analysis paper. The writing is incorrectly developed in some aspects and under developed in other parts, specifically the "problems that it leads to" portion. Another problem is that the presentation clearly shows a lack of the writer's ability to form English sentences. Every sentence contains improperly used vocabulary and confusing references. His major weakness is an inadequate ability to think and write in English. He has to focus on developing his vocabulary and increase his basic writing exercises to help improve these problem points. This is not yet the work of an exam taker than can receive a passing mark. If he focuses on improving the aspects that I have mentioned above, he might eventually be able to develop passing, but not high scoring essays in the future. High scoring essays will take time for him to learn to write. It will require increased writing preparation on a long term basis.

## the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driver license test The given bar chart compares data about the number of males and females living in an Asian country that qualified and obtained a driver license throught out the years from 1980 to 2010. Overall, most of the time, women had a higher possibility of passing their driving test, especially in 2000 when the percentage of females succeeded in the test reach the highest among other years and compared to that of males. Meanwhile, in 1980, the percentage of men passed their tests is the lowest data recorded. In 1980, about 49 percent of women taking the driving test managed to pass and that figure for men is nearly 29 percent which is 20 percent lower than women. The number of females who were able to accomplish the test continued to grow in the next ten years to 51 percent while that of males accounts for 30 percent. Approximately 69 percent of women succeeded in passing their driving test in 2000 which is also the peak among the years surveyed while that of men is nearly 50 percent, 19 percent lower. In 2010, the percentage of men that passed remained the same as the past 20 years while that of females decreased for 4 percent, ended up at 65 percent. *

The habit of writing in run-on sentences is highly obvious in this essay. The writer tends to combine 2 ideas into 1 sentence rather than using the standard of 1 idea per sentence. That is how the information in the task 1 essay should be formatted for the summary overview. As for the trending paragraph, the writer wrote an analytical report paragraph rather than a trend that only gives the estimates of the information. It should not be as overly detailed as presented in this paragraph. The over detailing of information is also the reason why this reporting analysis runs 209 words instead of the regulation 200 words maximum. Throughout the essay, the writer runs the risk of creating confusing and difficult to follow analysis presentations. That is because he keeps on trying to write combination comparison paragraphs when the more efficient writing method is that of single image reporting per paragraph. That means, there should be a separate stand alone paragraph for each gender. The combination analysis being presented only in the overview / trending statement.

## To what extent should children have to follow rules? Disciplinary measures using strict rules of behaviour play an significant role in raising children. However, the extent that children have to follow rules has been a complex problems ever. This following essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of following strict rules. First of all, tough habitats create responsible and respectful youngster. For instance, Asian parents usually teach their children to take the responsibility whenever they make a mistake, or children have to respect elders and tolerate youngers. Secondly, if kids are treated too leniently, they might be indolent and get out of hand for society's vices such as drugs, alcohol, gambling and so on. This finally leads to burden on the society. On the flip side, forcing youngsters to obey harsh rules also have some serious drawbacks. This can be mentioned as some children who tend to work against parents if the rules are tremendously trict as they want to be independent. This can cause much worse situation for the community, since adults would like to form a dutiful kid using those hard rules, meanwhile children oppose them. Moreover, a number of teenagers rely on the rules. This fundamentaly destroy their individuality and independence due to the fact that if there is no more rule, they do not know what to do or obey. To summarise, it is necessary to nurture a child with tough rules, but the rules should be strict in suitable cases. Adults should give children a sufficiently free environment to develope their personalities and self-determination.

While reading this essay, I came to realize that the with did not understand the writing instruction. The discussion is supposed to focus on the extent that children should follow rules. This is a modified extent essay in the sense that the writer has to agree with the provided opinion, only indicating his personal vielw as to how far or to what extent the child should do so. The writer altered this discussion instruction totally by providing an incorrect writing instruction. It was indicated that: This following essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of following strict rules. A total change from the original focus. By not following the writing instructions and changing the discussion target, the writer has not provided the expected response and can expect a failing score for thin task, regardless of awarded points in the minor scoring sections. He did not explain the extent of the need for children to follow the rules in certain situations. The examiner cannot ignore the fact that the author disregarded the provided discussion instructions in favor of how he wanted to discuss the essay. The writer cannot be rewarded for not following instructions.

## discuss both views and give your opinion Observation in both developed and developing nations finds controversy on the issue of how government should invest financial funds in national transportation. There is an increasingly popular opinion claiming that financial support should go for building new railways, facilitating quick trains between different cities. At the same time, other people hold that financial effort should be focused on enhancing the current transportation in public. I incline that both of the standpoints deserve recognition, as they are both logically sound arguments. On the one hand, train in general, and fast train in specific, are becoming more and more crucial in today's society. In fact, modern people tend to commute from their home to the work office on a daily basis, and fast trains appear to be the most optimal choice for their moving pattern. For instance, it may take approximately 20 minutes to get to the desired destination, compares to 45 minutes if individuals choose public buses instead. Obviously, taking a fast train would be more beneficial in today's lifestyle, especially in densely populated cities with heavy traffic congestion. For this reason, investing a greater amount of money should be prudently considered and carefully applied to big cities. On the other hand, public transport such as buses is commonly advocated to be the topmost solution for reducing carbon dioxide emissions within the atmosphere. Indeed, upgrading public transport would encourage more people to use it, as well as abolish the number of vehicles on the street during rush hours. For example, in rural areas where the existence of public buses is limited, residents are suffering difficulties when moving from their place to other areas. Clearly, enhancing the current state of public transport in the countryside and rural areas would benefit the vast majority in the long run, especially in developing nations with a limited provision in terms of public transportation. To be conclusive, greater investment in terms of railways for fast trains is worth applying in densely populated cities, where citizens possess a high demand for commuting. Simultaneously, investment goes for upgrading current public transportation should be considered in rural areas, whose citizens are facing barriers when transporting between places. *

358 words shows a lack of writing quality and incorrect task focus on the part of the exam taker. He is clearly influenced by the IELTS school of thought that subscribes to the idea that one will pass the test as long as he keeps on writing till the time runs out. This is the incorrect approach to responding to the task because such essays are more prone to C + C and GRA errors, as can be seen in this presentation. The prompt restatement and writers opinion paragraph alone already shows how the exam taker mishandled the writing task. He over extended the topic presentation and bordered on altering the presentation. In fact, his discussion presentation no longer followed the required comparative discussion between the public support for opinions and how he news it. The lack of 2 opinion analysis points per paragraph is a better scoring option when compared to only presenting the writer's opinion throughout. By constantly using commas to separate his sentence ideas, it is obvious that the writer can only write run on sentences. There are no real semple, complex, and compound sentence presentations. This is definitely a GRA problem. The writer can write long essays but is not capable of writing a proper essay that meets scoring requirements.

## Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home In the recent years, an increasing number of people including grown-ups as well as kids have been working and studying online at home thanks to lower price and easier accessibility of technology. It has been widely argued that whether this brings out positive effects or the opposite ones. I firmly agree that it would result in a great deal of benefits rather than disadvantages. Firstly, one of the most significant merits time saving and money saving. Imagine if working online, a large amount of time and money for transportation, specifically petrol of gas could be economized. It also helps to avoid rush hour traffic jams and ease the flow. Furthermore, online students and employees or workers could gain time flexibility for revising, self studying, doing homework or finishing tasks since having plenty of time after work hours and school time. That is also suitable for workers who are parents in taking care of toddlers or infancies since they need a lot of attention. Another vital advantage is that it helps to reduce waste and therefore the environment condition would be improved. There is not necessary for going out to much so lower carbon emissons is produced and that leads to lower possibility of ozone layer depletion. Additionally, by using technology instead of papers or other stationeries that are not environmentally friendly, a significant effort is made to upgrade the ecosystem and to help make a positive change to the environment conditon. In conclusion, many people have been working online at home using advanced devices seems to be a beneficial innovation due to the stated reasons including time and money saving, time flexibility and environmental protection. Not only does it allow people to continue to work and study in a convenient space but it also comes along with a considerable number of other positive influences.

People references adults and children. It is an all encompassing reference that does not need specific mentions afterwards. Since the essay clearly separates the groups into adults and children, it is better not to use collective references, just to avoid potential confusion in word usage. The second sentence is improperly formed resulting in a confusing reference. A reference to wide arguments is the most likely cause of this problem. Removing the over statement actually makes for a clearer sentence idea. The writer also proceeded to deviate or change the discussion perspective from positive or negative to an advantage or disadvantage discussion The essay no longer met the task requirements at this point. The examiner cannot give this paragraph a passing early score anymore because of this mistake. Discussion paragraphs are not effectively used. The positive aspects should have separately focused on WFH and SFH As indicated by the original prompt. One paragraph containing a 5 sentence justification for each group would have been the more accurate discussion format.

## numbers of sports watched in the tv The table shows how many people in millions watch sports on television. It shows the number of viewers for 4 sports by 4 countries America has biggest viewers in A countries with 25.2 millions. Tennis is more popular than other 3 sports: golf, motor racing, Athletics. Motor racing is not popular because only 12.7 millions people watch it. However, In Britain the number of people watch motor racing reach 6.4 million, account for more 50 percentage of viewer for motor racing. Golf is also popular: There are $11.2 millions viewer in America but it is not as popular in the other countries. There are 16.9 viewer who watch Athetics and it is quite same in 4 countries. * *Topic task 1*

Try to avoid underwriting words in the task 1 essay. Be mindful of the 150 minimum and 200 maximum word count. Any less, such as this 117 word count essay will cause an automatic failing score based on the word count percentage deduction. Failing the word count is a guaranteed way to not pass the test. Learn to provide the correct member of paragraphs based on the number of images provided. 3 paragraphs for a single image and up to 4 paragraphs for 2 or more images. A task 1 essay cannot be composed of 1 compressed paragraph alone. I find it best not to review this for content at the moment. There is no sense in doing that since there are already 2 task related reasons for the exam taker to fail. Write a proper essay next time. Then I will give a relevant review of the analysis presentation.

## Queen Mary Hospital development stages The diagram depicts the area of Queen Mary Hospital at 3 different stages in its development: 1960, 1980 and 2020 As can be observed from the maps, the Queen Mary Hospital changed swiftly between 1960 and 2000. One notable shift was the demolition of the shopping centre and the farmland. In the 20-year period from 1960, in the north-western corner of the map, a cancer centre and a pharmacy were erected with the removal of the shopping centre. Similar to that, the farmland, which originally stood in the north-western corner, was converted into a nursing school. On the eastern wing, the hospital and the car park remained intact during the given period. Turning to the year 2000, the hospital and the pharmacy stayed the same. Meanwhile, both the nursing school and the car park decreased in size and were moved eastward to make way for the expansion of the cancer centre.

Based on the number of maps prounded, this essay should have followed the 4 paragraph format. 1980 should have had its own analysis paragraph even if it was first used for a simple comparison to a more previous time. By the way, the image reference is not correct. What was presented is an illustrative map or a reference map. It is most definitely not a diagram. As can be observed Since the assumption for the task 1 essay is that it should be written in a descriptive analytical style, one of the violations a writer can make is to ask the reader to refer to an image directly or as an observation. Avoid such incorrect references in the future.

## learning attitude issue Nowadays, a considerable number of recent graduates have a bad attitude toward studying. There are several elements that contribute to this issue, as well as potentially drastic effects on future career. The two main causes of present trends are as follows. First of all, the typical school curriculum is too rigorous. Not only do students participate in lessons, they also have to be flooded with a large amount of homework assigned. As a result, young people might feel exhausted after a lesson and be under pressure to deal with exams. If these things continue, they will be like a drop of water that makes young students give up everything which has been built before. The second cause is many young people think that they can pursue their career successfully without seriously studying. For instance, there are numerous accounts of well-known people who graduated from college but went on to achieve greatness, such as Bill Gates. This example influences many students to believe that success in life doesn't really necessarily depend on the theoretical knowledge one acquires in school. For this reason, young individuals can't complete a degree and can't jump at the chance to work for companies. In modern day and ages, almost all plants' require a variety of degrees to evaluate an applicant's level of competence. If you don't have at least one degree, young people will lose the opportunity to work in a new environment, develop their practical skills and learn from experience. In conclusion, there are a variety of factors that cause students to misunderstand in studying, and the consequences for their future professions can be extremely serious.

There is no doubt that this essay will receive a failing overall score based on the writer's misinterpretation and wrong opinion presentation for this task. This is a cause and solution essay which the writer did not acknowledge in his prompt restatement and led to an incorrect writer's opinion towards the end. The prompt indicates the need to understand why the students leave school with a negative impression of learning. That is the first discussion point. The second discussion point asks the writer to consider how this negative impression can be changed. What solutions can be applied to prevent the negative impression? Intead, the writer opted to discuss the effects of the negative image on the future of the student. Considered a discussion alteration, the essay no longer follows the task accuracy requirements of the original presentation and as such, cannot be given a passing task score. A review of the actual response paragraphs will also show that he only discussed the reasons for the negative impression, thus responding to only 1 of the 2 assessment tasks provided. Therefore, this is an incomplete essay that might receive some scores for the cause portion only. Leaving the essay with a still non-passing final score.

## level of satisfaction from Airlines services The bar graph indicates/illustrates/presents the percentage of how the public in the US is satisfied with the job the country's major airlines doing in 1999,2000 and 2007.The table presents the results of the survey that people's satisfaction with multiple specific sorts of the flying experience during the same period of time. Overall ,the percentages of satisfaction with what the nation's major airlines was doing steadily increased ,while dissatisfaction gradually decreased. Apparently, the (sort of) courtesy of flight attendants ,however, always acquired the most satisfaction from the public ,which could be indicated by their highest percentage every year. As we can see from the bar graph, the percentage of people's satisfaction with nation's major airlines had a steady upward trend as a whole over time ,from 65% (in1 999) to 69% (in2000) to 72% (in 2007) ultimately. In contrast, the percentage of the dissatisfaction went down obviously from 32% to 29% to 24% , which might have been provoked by some improvements(explaination).On the other hand, it is obvious that people are rather satisfied with the manners of the flight attendants as it had been ranking first since 1999 to 2007 ,at 88% ,90% ,92% respectively. Moreover, the information of comfort of seats was absent in 1999 and 2000 whereas it was 47% in 2007 ,which was the lowest of all. The other three sorts of the table are courtesy of check-in/gate agents, price of tickets and schedules.They all had a rise on a whole ,which might have caused the whole satisfaction went up.

The bar graph indicates/illustrates/presents Pick on descriptive reference point. Do not use all 3. It creates a confusing statement for the reader. This is not a multiple choice vocabulary test for the reader. The writer should have a clear reference in mind when writing his statement. Such confusion in word usage shows both a lack of English vocabulary understanding ang a lack of grammar skills on the writer's part. This is definitely going to severely lower his preliminary scores. The writer is weak when it comes to creating connecting transitional sentences or phrases. In the summary, he was not able to effectively indicate that there is a relationship between the bar graph and table chart. there must be a connecting reference to the data from the two images as he introduces the transition from one image to the next. Apparently, the (sort of) What is this? What is the writer trying to imply? There should be no uncertainty in the report as this creates a blurred reference to the discussion trend. This is going to lead to a failing score for this paragraph. As we can see The reader cannot be referred to the image for one simple reason, the reader does not have a copy of the image to look at. Therefore, such a reference is futile and incorrect. The words of the writer should create an umistakable inidicator of what the images are referring to. The reader can never be asked to look at the image for information confirmation.

## daily intake of three different nutrients The three pie charts provide information on the proportion of 3 different nutrients (sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar) in the daily meals of UK adults. Each of these nutrients thought to be harmful for people's health if consumed excessively. Overall, the two initial repasts of the day eaten by UK adults are comparatively healthy, while the dinner comprises the most amount of sodium and saturated fat. Biggest percentage of the added sugar is in the snack foods. The first two meals, breakfast and lunch, are considered to have relatively balanced division of nutrients. A breakfast of UK adults contains 13% of sodium and the same proportion of saturated fat and added sugar which is 16% of the total. For lunch, sodium and saturated fat consumption are accordingly 28% and 26%, whereas added sugar makes up a fifth of the total nutrients in the second meal of UK people. In contrast, dinner and snacks seem to have less balanced proportion of the nutrients. A dinner includes largest proportions of sodium and saturated fat (42% and 39% respectively). However, while snacking, UK adults consume the most added sugar (45%) and slightly more sodium and saturated fat than for breakfast. *

Avoid the use of archaic English in these essays. The scores for vocabulary are based on the writer's ability to express himself using everyday English words. It is not a dictionary memorization exercise. The tone should be conversational and as such, eliminates the need for non-specific and generalized terms such as "repast". Rather, use the specific meal indicators, with alternate words used whenever possible. Skip the archaic language. It is not used in everyday English conversation. When words are mentioned in parenthesis, these are considered to be optional and unimportant by the reader. Do not develop that writing style for a task 1 essay. All of the information in this task, specially in the summary overview, are important and must be given their specific highlights instead of optional indicators.

## alternative healing methods are becoming more popular today Today, there are many people who have problems with their health tend to use medicines and treatments without going to hospital. In my opinion, this trend is a negative development that people should not follow. There are many reasons that people should visit their doctor and limit use of unknown drugs and treatment. Firstly, people may use the wrong medicines and treatment. In the modern and technological society, people can easily look up information on the Internet and there is so much information that they can control and understand. Therefore, they may choose wrong drugs and treatments that can not only have a negative impact on their health but also make the disease worse. Secondly, many people can easily be taken advantage of and defrauded. There are a lot of scammers who sell poor quality, ineffective and non-healing drugs. It is easy for patients to trust the advertisements of these people and buy drugs of unknown origin leading to adverse health effects. Moreover, people who lack knowledge and information can use drugs and treatment with wrong dosage and method. For example, using more than the prescribed dose will lead to side effects of the drug, reduce the effectiveness of the drug and adversely affect health. In conclusion, many sick people choose to use drugs and medicines and do not visit their doctor. Personally, I think this is a negative issue that has a bad effect on patient's health because they may use wrong medicines and treatment, be tricked into buying poor quality drugs and use drugs with wrong dosage. *

[~~quote=pttrang]there are[/quote]~~ Use a direct statement in this portion. There is no need for this referencing phrase since the total statement develops a clearer discussion reference when this phrase is removed from the sentence. The writer's opinion was off to a good start. It clearly indicated his opinion as being opposed to the given statement. All that was missing were the 2 summarized reasoning topics to help add strength and logic to the opinion. By a dding the 2 reasons, the summarized discussion presentation will have been met and given additional points by the examiner. There are many reasons that people should visit their doctor and limit use of unknown drugs and treatment This could have been used as the thesis statement in the opinion presentation. It is unnecessary to present this additional opinion in the reasoning paragraph. Points will be deducted from the concluding summary because the writer went from an opinion of certainty to an uncertain opinion by adding the word "think" to the sentence. As such he has contradicted his previous presentation and created a less than accurate opinion discussion. Avoid all words of uncertainty and contradiction that will affect the final opinion presentation.

## Human risk-taking attitude It is obvious that risk-taking is inevitable when making decisions but most people have a tendency not to take risks in their lives. In my opinion, despite taking hazards may have some negative aspects, I believe they are outweighed by the opportunities of taking risks. To begin with, when making risky decisions, several problems can be anticipated. The chance of loss should be considered because any risks can bring unexpected consequences in life. The reason is that not everyone has the ability to handle the arising issues after risking their property or time to achieve something. As a result, such failures can reduce motivation, wealth, and prestige. For example, employees quitting their positions attempt to set up their own enterprises but this may lead to various challenges. Therefore, it is inevitable to go out of business if they do not have enough expertise or financial prowess. On the other hand, it is obvious that risk-taking can materialize one's dream. Individuals being content with their positions in society usually lose the chance to actualize their potential. For example, accepting a more challenging job recommendation may lead to one's career advancement. The new position may acquire new knowledge and skills, but these are the main keys to contributing to one's personal growth. Obviously, the more ambitious the decision, the greater the rewards. Moreover, even when people can not achieve their goals after taking risks, failure will still be a valuable lesson for them to be able to cope with the upcoming challenges. In conclusion, risk-taking brings merits, albeit fifty-fifty percent of the success. I still hold my view that the potential hazards are outweighed by the upside.

The prompt restatement is inaccurate because it does not refer to the original discussion. Rather it offers an immediate discussion based on the writer's personal opinion. By indicating that something is "obvious" when it was not stated as such in the original prompt, the examiner will realize that the author has made an error in restating the topic, which led to the incorrect and failing interpretation of the original text. That will cause an accuracy failure in the preliminary score. As far as the actual response opinion, it is acceptable and direct to the point even though the grammar used is not very strong. However, it does not present the professional and personal benefit / advantage of taking risks as a part of the required short topic discussion presentation. The opinion presentation is incomplete which will not be good for the accuracy score of that section either. ESL students always make the mistake of using the phrase "On the other hand" without first referring to "On the one hand". this is grammatically incorrect and confuses the reader, which will have a negative GRA effect. The writer tried to do a good job of explaining himself but his incorrect transition methods are what affected that score. The paragraph transitions cause confusion for the reader, which leads to several readings of unclear text. The stand alone 4th paragraph is unnecessary in this discussion as well. The standard format for an A/D essay is 4 paragraphs, not 5. 5 paragraphs compose the optional format of the discuss both views + personal opininion presentation. The writer shows that he does not have a clue about how to properly format Task 2 essays so he should work on that familarization early on. Response format correctness is vital to the final score of the task 2 essay.

## norbiton industrial area now and in the future The maps illustrate an area industrialized with factories in the town of Norbiton and a design for future upgradation of the site. Overall, there is expected to be a construction of accommodations with other community facilities for villagers. To begin with, all the town factories are planned for demolishment to make place for the modification. The primary one is the development of the transportation system, which constructed extra road branches from the big roundabout to the east and north sigh of Norbiton town. In the north of Norbiton, there will be an erection of a bridge crossing the river, while a small roundabout will be built at the T-junction in the south of the town. Consequently, the construction of accommodations is planned to conduct along the road branches. Besides housing area in the internal, the town is predicted to have a dwelling area next to the farmland to the north of the river which is crossed by the north route. Additionally, a school at the end of the west route is planned to establish in the future development to serve students in the town. Between the river and the housing area on the west, there will be an establishment of a playground which is connected by a path from the west road. Finally, a shopping center and a medical center are predicted to be constructed to the southeast and southwest of the main roundabout respectively. *

A task 1 essay cannot have more than 200 words written since there is a 20 minute writing limitation. This is the short writing task and should be completed in 180- 200 words. Use a timer to keep track next time. To score well in this test, he must beable to use specific descriptive words that can quickly be understood as an explanation by the reader. Each paragraph must be short but informative. Do not spend more than 20 minutes on the task since time will be deducted from the 40 minuter for the task 2 essay. The description is highly precise but too wordy. An essay can be descriptive by being more direct, avoiding unnecessary references or sentence lengthens when not necessary. Every sentence presented is unnecessarily long. The miter should practice editing his text to create instant clarity in the presentation.

This is my subject: ***Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their freetime to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? Many people believe that it is essential for juveniles to involve in volunteering work for their local society as this might be beneficial to both teenagers and their community. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this statement for the following reasons. To begin with, taking part in volunteering work is likely to help youngsters enhance themselves. This includes providing them the fundamental soft skills they need for their own life. To illustrate, while working as volunteers, they can have a chance to cooperate with each other, which may develop their teambuilding and communication skills. Furthermore, doing voluntary job could also broaden teenagers' circle of friends. As long as there is enough time for working and supporting each other, the young could gradually grow a good relationship, which might last for quite long. Second of all, the whole community can gain many advantages of teenagers' doing unpaid work in their freetime. If many young people are engaged in these kinds of work, chances are that they may improve residents' living standards. For instance, when the young join hands in clearing the streets everyday after school, then the whole surrounding areas would be fresher and the level of pollution could be substantially reduced. Therefore, people in the neighboring zones may seize more opportunity to live in an environmentally-friendly livelihood. To conclude, I think that youngsters' doing voluntary work can boast their soft skills, increase mutual relationships with each other and make the community worth living.

Good work on the prompt restatement. It is simple in presentation but still changed enough to not make the examiner believe that a cut and paste presentation was used. The writer's opinion could have been strengthened by including the 2 topics that you consider to be the supporting reason. I advise that students do this whenever possible because the accuracy of the opinion will be scored based on the clarity of the reason. Therefore, an opinion should include a discussion outline to allow for clearer opinion referencing. Consider it a summarized discussion point that will benefit the final score. The proprietarial apostrophe is constantly misused in this essay. The writer is trying to reference the plural form of certain words. Adding an apostrophe does not create a plural form, it creates a proprietarial reference instead. That is incorrect punctuation usage in reference to grammar representation. For the plural form of words a +S is usually all that is required. Unless the word needs to be spelled differently to create the plural form (e.g. Goose = Geese). As far as connected discussion points, the points provided are well developed and show a connection between paragraphs. However, the cohesive phrases that should connect the paragraphs are incorrect. One must first say "First of all" before one can use the corresponding reference "Second of all".

## Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams Taking part in sports has numerous benefits. However, there are two points of view are given about that. People argue about playing multiplayer sports like football or Individual sports such as swimming is better. In my opinion, I believe that both sports types can provide people with a variety of benefits and that they should choose the appropriate type of sport for them. On the one hand, an advantage of team sports is that they can develop interpersonal skills for individuals. For example, football allows people to better understand and communicate with each other, which benefits them in the workplace. In addition, improving the sense of unity, and friendship between teammates makes them more responsible, and more enthusiastic when working. On the other hand, playing individual sports like swimming or tennis also has its benefits. Individual sports provide more opportunities for people to improve their skills, such as emotion management or self-esteem. Because no one can assist single players during a match, they must work hard to overcome any setbacks they may face to achieve their goals. For instance, swimmers have to practice really hard to achieve high results like winning an Olympics medal. In conclusion, both team sports and single one have their own benefits, people should choose the sport they are most interested in playing.

The writer has not written enough words to merit a passing score. At 217 words where 250 is the minimum consideration, the writer has not provided enough samples of his writing skills, logical thinking, and discussion abilities to convince the examiner that he can function in an English academic setting. The lack of proper English grammar, sentence formation, and understandable (not confusing) English sentences are highly evident in this essay, all of which will add to the reasons that the writer cannot be considered for a base passaing score. The opening paraphrase alone contains several sentences of confusing thought presentations. My guess is, the writer is thinking in his native tongue and then translating it word for word in English, which is why some essential English words necessary for proper explanations are missing. As far as the actual discussion is concencerned, the writer does not completely develop the dual aspect of the viewpoints to help clarify the public and personal opinions He is only explaining based on his own perceptions of the topic. It is this lack of dual sided considerations that also prevented him from achieving the word count requirement. If only writes from only a personal opinion perspective, the essay will be considered under developed and lacking in substance. It means the writer did not understand what discussion format and topic opinions should be present in the task. The writer has good personal opinions but the essay demands more evidence of the validity of his opinion. Something that is achieved only be proving that the other side of the discussion, the public opinion as understood and explained by the writer, in comparison to his own. When a true comparison of opinions exist, the writing requirement has been met. That is not the situation in this case.

## The employment of first-year teachers The line graph gives the information about the proportion of the employment of first-year teachers by year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007. Overall, the percentage of English-language teachers fell down dramatically, while the figure for French-language teachers fluctuated and hit the highest point in 2007. In addition, English-language instructors saw the greatest decrease over the period. As for teachers who taught English, the percentage of them had a sharp decrease from 73% to 40% in the period of 2001 - 2003. Since then to 2005, the number of new graduates who found jobs in teaching English slightly increased to approximately 43% (2005). However, it began to dip again to 32% and 28% in 2006 and 2007, respectively. Regarding new graduates who worked as French teachers, the proportion of them was 70% which lower than that of English teachers recruitment in 2001. There was a decrease in the percentage of the employment of new French teachers in 2002, about 53%. The number of French new graduate teachers then surpassed the number of English teachers after 2002 and fluctuated between 2003 and 2006. In 2007, the highest figure was recorded for French instructors with nearly 73%. *

The summary could use some clarification points. For starters, there should be an indicator of 2 lines running through the graph, which represent different measurement focus. It should also represent the information that the data presented is in relation to permanent jobs for the teachers. This is an important point that was highlighted in the description and should therefore, be given special attention in the report. If possible, indicate the line graph color differentiations as well. As for The paragraph cannot start with this reference since there was no previous comparison point for the presentation. There are certain opening phrases that can only be used after a previous presentation. The writer should become familiar with these phrases and use it properly next time.

***The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and ammount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.*** ## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The line graphs demonstrate not only the proportion of possessing various tools powered by electricity but also how long it took people in a nation to do chores throughout a century long duration from 1920. Overall, it is depicted in the first picture all three figures grew, and most equipments had been fulfilled in houses other than the laundry device. Meanwhile, via the second one, a downward trend could be witnessed in the amount of housework time. In terms of electical appliances, washing machines were previously the most popular equipment among all and doubled their statistic in the end, but they were outnumbered by the other two in 2019. This increment was too minimal compared with those of the vacuum washer and the fridge which both had rocketed and reached 100% in 1980 and 20 years later, respectively. Noticeably, this had yet been obtained by the laundry property. Glancing at the second chart, it is highlighted that surveyees had been taking a smaller part in accomplishing chores. Their number of working hours spent a week had plummeted by more than half from 50 hours until 1960 when the changes were not as significantly as before, and the data was kept quite stable between 10 and 20 for the next 5 decades. (209) I am wondering if my grammar structure is comprehensive enough because sometimes I feel I overwrite sentences. I will also be very grateful for your feedback! *

How many line graphs were presented? Identify the number early on. When referencing the trends in the specific statement, use a shortened reference to the actual images instead of saying "First" and "Second" image. That does not inform the reader clearly. Identify the use of the image then the pertinent information. Keep in mind that the reader will not have a copy of the image so being specific about particular information is a must. Never ask the reader to look at the image for any reason. This is related to the reason I previously mentioned. They cannot see the image for themselves. This essay is all about how quick but informative the writer can be. Overwriting is caused by the focus of the student on proving his English vocabulary instead of the clear information delivery. Focus on the latter and avoid trying to fill the word count with non-essential references.

## renewable energy usage numbers Presented for consideration is a line graph illustrating the usage of total sustainable energy in 6 countries between 1971 and 2006. From an overall perspective, there was an increase in the use of renewable energy in almost all countries except for Finland, with the US witnessing the most dramatic rise. Despite this, the UK consistently had the lowest use throughout the period. Looking at the graph in more detail, the usage of sustainable energy in Denmark commenced the period at 15%, after which it saw a slight rise to about 17, 5% in 2011. Similar change, but to lesser extents, which grew from 8% to almost 15% and from only 1% to around 6% respectively. The usage in energy which could be inexhaustible had a significant jump to exceed France and Denmark prior to reaching a peak at nearly 18% at the end of the period. Meanwhile, Finland had experienced a downward tendency until it went up again in 1991 and consistently was the highest use of all countries. *

When indicating the summary overview, never forget to list the complete names of information sources. In this case, indicate all 6 countries to help create an understandable trending statement. The current presentation had the potential to be an effective descriptive summary if not for that small oversight. The writer made sure to accurately report on all of the obvious points in the essay. That is good and will be well scored. However, the analysis aspect is missing from the discussion. Reviewing the graph will show that there are overlapping areas or areas where the measurements are almost equal because the lines touch but do not overlap. These are the analysis presentations that should have been present to achieve the highest possible C+C score.

***The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear energy overweigh the disadvantages.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer. While the lethal power of nuclear weapons has long been a threat to humankind and the union between countries. Many argue that it is a green alternative energy source with lower cost and this merit outweighs the downside. Despite its potential merit, I disagree with the latter idea and believe that the downsides are much more significant. Many people believe that atomic energy has the potential to be the leading source of energy. The colossal environmental cost of fossil fuels has led to nuclear energy, a type of power that is both eco-friendly and inexhaustible. In fact, the developed nations nowadays all have their own nuclear factories to provide electricity and they have substantially helped further the modern industries, bringing about a prosperous economy. However, looking at its deadly nature once leaked out to the environment, all of that thriving scenarios pale into insignificance. Take the Chernobyl power plant's radiation leak as an example. The city in which this factory is located is now a ghost town. The radio destroyed everything and rendered the area surrounding the power station uninhabitable for potentially thousands of years. Further, the fact that many powerhouses in the world possess the secret of nuclear power poses such a threat to global peace. No one knows at any time in the future, a third world war will explode. If it is the case, the elimination of nuclear power now may be of utmost importance as battles using nuclear war will claim not only thousands of lives but hundreds of millions of people. In addition, nuclear weapons can possibly fall into the wrong hands in the black market. Thus, its existence has never ceased to be a danger. In conclusion, while there is no denying that nuclear is cleaner, more powerful, and cheaper than non-renewable sources of energy, its benefit is all eclipsed by the potential threat. If no drastic steps are made to eradicate this type of weapon, human existence will be jeopardised.

The writer will do good to remember that there is a 40 minute time limit on the writing, editing, and finalization of this essay response. As such, he should not be writing 327 words as an explanation for his opinion. Due to the additional review work needed to increase the scores per section, he should write only 300 words. Use a timer next time, follow the outlined writing tasks to learn exactly how long it will take you write the correct number of words. The ideal scoring length is 275 - 280 words. While the prompt restatement and writer's opinion are well presented in this work, the writer fails to apply the same writing accuracy in his reasoning paragraphs. For starters, he should have known that atomic energy cannot be mistaken for nuclear energy. These are 2 different energy sources and cannot be used interchangeably nor as synonyms for one another. This is the biggest vocabulary error in this essay since it alters the source topic and will lead to discussion confusion for the reader/examiner. Another issue is that the writer provided a non-required opinion about the state of mankind in relation to nuclear energy. This is considered a topic deviation that has resulted in an open ended essay. As the essay now lacks a proper concluding summary, it may receive a failing score for not being completed / formatted based on the required writing format. As far as thinking in English goes, the writer has the ability to think straight using the English language. However, he also tends to lose track of the correct discussion focus for the essay. This is a problem that could lead to further deviant essay discussions in the future. He should always double check his writing against the original prompt to prevent this.

## uk residents in travel The line graph compares the trips to and from the UK between 1979 and 1999 while the bar chart illustrates five countries that most attracted the British in 1999. Overall, the initial impression is the UK saw a higher increase in their citizens travelling abroad than in their foreign visitors. It is also evident that France was the most attractive destination for British visitors. Regarding the line graph, in 1999, the numbers of UK residents visiting overseas was nearly 15 million, which was higher than that of people arriving in UK (10 million). Toward the end of the period, while the figure for visits abroad made by the British experienced a dramatic increase by 40 million, the number of visits to the UK by foreigners tripled to nearly 30 million. In 1999, over 10 million UK residents visited France, which was considerably higher than that of Spain (9 million). Next in ranking was USA, with is figure being one third that of Spain. Meanwhile, Turkey and Greece are the least favored of all the examined countries, with just 2.5 and 2 million UK visitors arriving in these nations respectively. * *

The line graph and bar chart are provided as 2 separate images. These are not collective representations. The focus of each image is different. Therefore, these cannot be presented in the summary as a continuing sentence presentation. Each image requires a stand alone sentence and a stand alone trending reference. The trending references must also indicate the image type within the trend, just to make sure the reader is not confused about which trend belongs to which image. Image differentiation seems to be a problem for this writer. He just assumes that just because he has mentioned one image type in the previous paragraph, there is no need for him to mention the second image when discussing its content. Discussing the content, without referencing the source will cause confusion for the reader. The more confusion there is, the less chance of the essay getting a passing score.

***Topic: Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on societies.*** ## Discuss both views and give your own opinion. People have different views regarding the importance of robots in societies. While some think that the benefits of these machines will make them an essential part of future societies, I strongly believe that robots may affect our lives negatively in the long run. On the one hand, robots have benefited our lives considerably. People do not have to do manual jobs such as cleaning cars or packing items because robots can do them much more effectively and efficiently. Unlike humans, these machines can handle strenuous work for long hours without taking a break, and as a result, products that were once expensive can now be mass-produced and labor has become much cheaper. Additionally, people will have extra time to unwind or focus on other important issues. For example, instead of sweeping and cleaning the floor, my uncle bought a robot to do that for him and in the meantime, he focuses on his job. On the other hand, I think robots can have negative effects on our societies in the long run. People will become too dependent on these machines and may expect them to do all the work, including the most simple ones. Some of these expectations are very bad because they demotivate and disillusion people. For instance, I happened to meet a few students who had an illusion that someday, a robot will be invented to do all their homework and assignments and I believe that these thoughts of being dependent on robots keep students from trying their best to finish their works. In addition, the unemployment rate will rise because robots have handled most of the strenuous and manual labor. This can lead to bigger problems such as destitution or an increase in crime. In conclusion, although robots have some advantages that can benefit our societies greatly, I think that in the long term, these machines will affect human societies in a bad way. *I really appreciate any kind of feedback. Thank you in advance.*

The prompt restatement is an incomplete depiction of the original presentation. The writer must always provide 3 points of view for the discussion with personal opinion presentation. These points of view are: - The pro public opinion - The con public opinion - The writer's personal opinion While these may be presented in no particular order, it is best to present the writer's opinion last since this sentence requires the supporting reason or thesis presentation to back up the opinion. A review of the above listing will show which point of view is missing from the presentation. The provided prompt outline also highlights how the discussion paragraphs are incomplete in presentation. There is a missing comparative point. As such, the overall discussion can only be scored based on a partial consideration. When any aspect of the discussion is missing or lacking, the writer cannot receive full scoring merits. The missing paragraph could prevent a passing score from being provided.

***In education and employment, some people work harder than others.*** ## Reason? Is it always a good thing to work hard? In educational and workplace settings, there is often a difference between people regarding their hardworking level. In my opinion, this can stem from the variety of personal goals people set for themselves. I also believe that working and studying conscientiously all the time is not always positive given the possible health problems and poor social life an extremely hardworking person may lead. Trying to realize an ambition always drive people to work harder. A student, for example, can pay his painstaking attention to each lecture while his friends are chatting if his goal is to get the highest scholarship granted by, say, his university. Similarly, a worker who desires a higher position tends to make diligent efforts to get their work done with the highest quality whereas others' care may be just to meet the deadline. It stands to reason as normally, hard work will be paid off with rewarding results. Thus, personal objectives can explain why some people devote themselves to their education or career more than anyone else. That said, the idea of working hard can sometimes stray too far. To exemplify, the student who gives up his sleep to study hours on end can suffer badly as his health is greatly abused in exchange for better results. This can also be seen in adult workers. Not only their healths are adversely affected, their social life can be degraded as well. Making more time for education and work means less time for family and friends. Furthermore, as all their time and efforts are concentrated in achieving their goals, social events at which people can widen their network can be conveniently ignored. As a result, a poor social life is expected. In conclusion, goals and ambitions are the driving force behind many people's working harder than others. Overall, this is a positive idea, however, excessive work can inevitably lead to health problems as well as limited social activities when not managed properly. Hi, I'm back. Hopefully, this essay won't make you too disappointed.

The essay is still 23 words over the suggested word count. The writer is relying on overwriting to help pass the test. Overwriting does the exact opposite. It creates more chances for errors and other deduction possibilities because the focus of the writer is not the quality of the content and use of language, but just on vocabulary. The writer does not leave any time to review, revise, edit, and finalize the content because of this incorrect writing strategy. A task 2 essay does not need to be wordy, it needs to be short, clear in discussion, and easily understandable by a native English speaker. As I reviewed this paper, the more obvious error is that the writer was using word fillers to help increase the length of each paragraph, even as it did not add to the essence or importance of the paragraph content. Such occurrences further highlight the improper grammar skills and incorrect word usage of the writer. Did this paper disappont? Yes, in a different way from before.

## The diagram below shows the recycling process of plastics. ***Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** The picture depicts a sequence of the plastic treatment. Overall, it consists of two primary stages, one of which is the manufacture of recycled bottles and the other is after usage, and that period mostly depends on whether the customers would litter or not. Initially, after gathering the previously wasted products among which plastics will get filtered, workers will transport them to the main factories. It is illustrated that this place is where products may come out and get delivered into stores for public sale. At this point, buyers, after consuming the output, will have to make a decision significantly contributing to the whole process as recycling circle will once again restart if no bottles are wastefully thrown away. Otherwise, already used goods made from plastic are going to become a complete source of waste without a capability of being reused anymore. Ultimately, unless people learn to reduce pollution, this material is projected to join the garbage dump in this scenario. *

I tried to follow the report that the writer developed and found myself lost when I compared his report to the images provided. It appears that this should have been a 4 paragraph report that followed the sectional processing of plastics as depicted by the images. While the writer did make a good explanation of a process, it is not the same process that is involved in the 3 processing levels provided. As such, the given report can be seen as incomplete and lacking in discussion accuracy. It is improtant that the writer recognize how the illustrations were divided into 3 different processes, creating 3 different end results. The analysis provided should have reflected these procedural divisions due to C+C considerations.

***Fossil fuels (coal, oil and natural gas) are the main sources in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged.*** ## Do you think it is a positive or negative development? It is no doubt that fuel sources such as coal, oils, and natural gas are the most consumed form of energy by the majority of the world. However, people started to replace those natural resources with renewable energy to diminish the pollutants produced in nature. This essay will explain why such substitution in energy is a positive development regardless of how few difficulties were disputed. The most important interference that needs to be concerned is the finance charges required for the installment and manufacture of energy-transferred equipment. At present, only industrialized nations with large government budgets can afford green energy operators and apply them to a wide range. Nevertheless, this is a short-term challenge referring to permanent use. Because of its infinite source of energy, the alternative solution can ensure the longevity of power usage and allows the governments of emergent nations to save money in the long run. On the other hand, renewable resources energy guarantees environmental quality compared to traditional forms of power since it is substantial and eco-friendly. As eco-consciousness started to rise, the role of these green energies became more important. This replacement in energization not only contributes to nature conservation by generating energy without toxic gas emissions but also diversifies the energy supply and benefits the economy. This method will reduce dependence on fossil fuels and offer more jobs in order to decrease the unemployment rate. For instance, numerous organizations have recruited more positions in construction and coordination of renewable energy generators which creates more career opportunities. In conclusion, even though fuel sources have been primitively used for centuries, renewable energy is considered a great substitution as its unlimited potential and nature-friendly. Thus, I am convinced this is such an innovative development in various fields.

Here is the thing about the prompt rephrasement section of this essay, it is not a mere restating of the original prompt. It is an actual beginning of the discussion. That is an incorrect interpretation of the original prompt. The original discussion interpretation should not include additional information or the writer's opinion. It must state, within basic terms, the premise of the original discussion topic and nothing more. So the writer will definitely not receive a passing score for his prompt restatement due to his improperly developed interpretation of the original discussion. The direct question posed before the writer begs him to address the response in a direct, first person pronoun manner. The essay is not going to write itself. It is imperative that the generalization of the discussion be avoided since he is not stating a public opinion. Ownership of the opinion ( My opinion is...) is the only way to get a proper score in the write's opinion consideration since it requires a clear reference to the opinion and whose opinion it is. Repeated references to the first person writer is encouraged in these essay discussion types. On the other hand is always used in unison with "On the one hand". It cannot be used as a stand alone phrase because it is part of a comparative discussion presentation. This reference causes confusion for the reader who is trying to understand whether the 2 paragraphs are connected or not. By not properly using grammar principles, the writer will lose points based on discussion clarity. By the way, the word because is always used in a connecting capacity and should not be used to start a sentence. It will do the writer well to become better acquainted with English grammar rules to avoid making these mistakes in the future.

## marketing statistics Nowadays, advertisements appear everywhere as the competition between companies is high. There is an opinion that advertising is an important method to increase the number of sales. However, some individuals say that we often ignore it that is not effective. Today, we discuss both these views and I will give your own opinion. On the one hand, advertisements have huge influence. They can not only introduce products in a place but also around the world. For instance, Prada handbags is a famous product all over the world although Prada is a luxury fashion brand in Italy. This result is based on their great advertisement that they choose a well-known person to become brand ambassador. Moreover, how to advertise is an extremely decisive key. If we don't have a good advertising plan, it will not bring high efficiency and waste our money as well as our time. On the other hand, advertising does not pay attention. Some advertisements are impractical that do not show the truth about product's features. For example, many English learners installed grammar app on their phone or computer. Because it is advertised on Youtube whenever they watch any video. However, it brings us disappointment when they really use it. Therefore, they no longer pay attention to advertising. In conclusion, while many people no longer put their trust in advertising, I believe that it still is a great method to persuade us to buy things as people spend a long time on social media such as Facebook and Instagram which are the most popular places to advertise.

The first sentence is the writer's personal opinion and should be merged with his opinion sentence as the reasoning basis instead. Never place an unrelated discussion point at the start of the essay as the examiner will see this as a deviation and deduct necessary points for the accuracy of the presentation. He will also not appreciate the lack of opinion presentation in the same paragraph. He will definitely not give accuracy and opinion scores in the paragraph that requires its presentation when the writer does not give any opinion in the paragraph. This is an almost failing prompt restatement+writer's opinion presentation. It cannot be given full scoring merits. Actual scoring problems arise from the lack of proper discussion perspective in the discussion paragraphs. That is because all of the statements provided are solely from the writer's personal opinion / perspective. The discussion that is required needs the writer to offer an insight into a comparative discussion for each public opinion. That means: POV 1: State the topic + why the public supports it + writer's opinion (support/non support) POV 2: State the topic + public reasons for support + writer's opinion (support / non support) The points of view and writer's opinion may be discussed in no particular order. It does not matter to the examiner. What does matter is the clarity of the writer's point of view in comparison to the public reasoning. On the other hand, advertising does not pay attention. This statement makes it appear that advertisers do not pay attention to the audience. However, it should mean that the people no longer pay attention to advertisements. The sentence is misleading, unclear, and refers to the wrong audience premise.

***Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. It is known that students must study many subjects in university. There is an argument about whether the university students are suggested to learn whatever they are interested in or research knowledge that will be practical in the future. In my opinion, I prefer the first idea, and my reasons run as follows. Above all, interest is the best teacher. According to a research, the remembering rate of the students who study the things they like is obviously higher than those who study the typical materials, which indicates that interest can help students learn better. When the individuals learn the knowledge they are interested in, they will be willing to keep studying it and enjoy themselves instead of giving it at the beginning. Besides, it helps to develop thinking independence and respect their right to choose. When the students choose the subjects they want, it is due to their own choices instead of being forced by others, which is good for developing their thinking independence. The ability to think independently is very significant after they graduate since there will be no one to help them make the choices. Nevertheless, the employment environment becomes severe due to the global slowdown caused by COVID-19 and it is not easy to get a job now. Studying practical subjects can make you useful in the future so that you have more advantages to be employed. So when choosing the major, the factor of usefulness also needs to be considered. In conclusion, undergraduates are supposed to study the subjects they favour with the consideration of their usefulness.

The first sentence in this presentation is referred to as a throw away. That means the writer is using it to meet the wordcount only. Although it mentions some reference to the topic, it does not directly relate to the discussion foundation so it cannot be assessed as a useful part of the paragraph. Only the last 2 sentences of the presentation will be scored in direct relation and relevance to the original. The first paragraph can be composed of 2-3 sentences, provided these are all scorable in nature. Another observation for the same paragraph has to do with the reasoning outline in support of the writer's opinion. Where the writer would rather not state his reasons, then he should not indicate my reasons run as follows since the examiner already knows that instruction. It is a non-scorable phrase as well. It would be better and scorable if the writer provides a proper reasoning statement instead. Every sentence in every paragraph should make or move the discussion forward. Do not say empty things as these will not help the sectional and final scores. The writer missed out on the correct discussion format. He was to discuss both public opinions and offer his thoughts on each aspects (de) merits. This prompt tests the logical thinking of the person, as well as his ability to counter debate opposing sides. This is an essay that requires a 2 opinion analysis instead of a single opinion defense. He accidentally used the incorrect discussion format.

***Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Over the past few years, varied cultural events have no longer remained their spirits as most attendees join in just for their own excitement. I strongly comply with this view on the grounds that festive occasions are now more of a business than a religious preservation it used to be. Admittedly, festivals attract a massive inflow of money. In other words, many travellers indulge in going on tours whose tickets include a visit to tribal villages since they are bored with normal sightseeing destinations, and those areas do allow incomers to enjoy their distinct long-lasting traditions. For instance, trips to far-flung mountains are especially engaged by wealthy families in Sai Gon who accept to spend immensely travelling to have a life-time opportunity to dance and play with the tribes during their commemorations. Therefore, it is money that significantly contributes to a serious loss of meaning of plentiful cultural events. Furthermore, religious conservation is by no means a pivotal reason of organizing festive occasions anymore. In retrospect, attendees were from only surrounding neighborhoods, and they came to celebrate memorable achievements only; however, it is inevitable that those parities are now occuring so often that most members of a religion may feel such events dull and not special. It can also be argued that if festivals had not been increasingly organized, it would be too scarce for the tribe to meet one another and have tribal activities. On the contrary, people used to survive without losing cultures with the same frequency, so there is no reason why modern humans have to take part in more. In conclusion, during traditional celebrations, people tend to enjoy themselves in lieu of remembering the true meaning. This is because earnings are of a greater necessity than protecting the traditions.

The strength and strong scoring potential of this essay is in its ability to deliver the discussion as required. That means, the single opinion support through correct and cohesive reasoning paragraphs can be found within the presentation. This shows that the writer is totally familiar with the writing style required by the given prompt. The writer will definitely give better C+C considerations to these paragraphs. When it comes to weaknesses, the essay makes minimal errors that will lower the final score, but will not result in a failing essay. The essay cannot fail because it meets the full discussion paragraph requirements. Some errors in the presentation include: - Indicating a time frame which is not necessary since there was no mention of this in the original. It lessens the accuracy of the topic restatement. - The writer's use of the English words are sometimes incorrect. It affects the clarity of thought and coherence of the discussion. Further sentence building exercises and vocabulary building should fix these problems. It is important to note though that the examiner will not be seriously confused by the sentence structure as he will still be able to easily guess what the writer is trying to say. - The conclusion should be composed of 3 sentences. The writer forgot to reiterate his opinion as a part of the reverse paraphrase.

***Nowadays young people mostly learn by reading books or watching movies and TV shows, rather than personal experiences.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is true that juveniles these days demonstrate their personal preference for different media such a books or films instead of putting emphasis on hands-on experiences while learning. While I acknowledge that there are still a certain number of people who prefer the latter, I think that it is more resonable to widen young people's knowledge via books and films. On the one hand, the idea of learning through real-life experiences is beneficial due to its provision of practical knowledge. This can be explained by the fact that firsthand experiences offer individuals the authentic sensation as well as a long-lastting understanding of a myriad of subjects. For example, in comparision with reading a book about the process of making ceramics, participating in making them will greatly enhance people's comprehension of its production. Therefore, people's knowledge about a subject will definitely last longer and be more useful. Despite the above-mentioned advantage, I believe that learning through books and TV is more recommendable in terms of financial affairs. This is because books or TV shows are considerably less expensive when compared to the payment for hands-on experiences. A book about the history and geography of Hoi An - a UNESCO World Heritage site in Vietnam, for instance, is much more affordable than a journey to this breathtaking hotspot. As a result, with general less money and time, people can utilize a widd range of data for learning purposes, thus widen their horizons and knowlege. In conclusion, although rel-life experiences present a particular advantage with regard to offering pragmatic knowledge, from my perspective, it is more beneficial to gain knowledge by means of books of TV due to its inexpensive cost.

Since the response for this essay is to be based on a measured response, the opening sentence cannot begin by saying "It is true..." as this indicates a prompt deviation on the part of the writer. He has changed the response format for the essay to the point where the expected response format was not delivered to the examiner. The result will be an essay that does not fully meet the accuracy requirements. The writer's response itself is self-defeating as he relays that "I think" rather than "I fully/partially/absolutely" to name but a few acceptable response types, in the essay. By indicating "I think", he indicates uncertainty in his opinion sentence. This proves to be a scoring problem since his lack of personal opinion confidence indicates an opinion that lacks clarity. If he cannot support his opinion as required, then he has already failed the test. Since this is not a comparative essay discussion, the reasoning paragraphs will be seen as under developed and sometimes, improperly referenced. That is based on the requirement that the writer defend his opinion using 2 connected reasons in cohesive paragraphs. Only one essay will receive scoring merit since only one paragraph supports the uncertain opinion of the writer. These observations are only some of the immediate reasons that the essay will not be given a passing score. The writer's lack of response familiarity and his inability to support one solid point of view are the main failing points.

***Tittle: ## In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past ?*** It is univerisally accepted that modern homes, at present, are not affording as many members as they used to in retrospect. Despite offering a wide variety of detrimental influences regarding societal features, this past trend is, in my opinion, considered beneficial with more relationships. On the one hand, containing increasing children played an integral part in enhancing connection within a house. To beign with, it is inevitable that members in that unit could build mutual relationships, and eventually expanded their social circle with younger relatives in their extended family. As a result, when reaching matureness and entering the world of employment, people could find support from trustworthy surrounders, for instance, numerous cousins created start-ups to do business together, so they would not feel distressed about strangers fooling them in invesment. Furthermore, if a student at a young age had felt isolated and too apprehensive occassionally, he or she would have looked for another member they were close to to converse about private issues, resulting in more flexible and comfortable minds afterwards. This convention, on the other hand, has posed innumerable threats to the community. There is no doubt that a immense quantity of youngsters in a family like more than 10 newborns per parent in the past was primarily responsible for the current overpopulation all over the globe, thereby becoming a massive burden of welfares for soceity to supply such as hospitals or educational institutes. In addition, after growing older and preparing for a suitbale major or career, they would find out the overwhelming intensity of choosers in comparision to much fewer demands for selection, therefore, many would have to change to another profession or got unemployed. In conclusion, I strongly believe that its advantages do outweigh its negative points. The decline in the number of members now can help today's era with lower rates of not only employment but also density; furthermore, this development has not been advocating the interaction between humans.

When an exam taker writes as incoherently as this person, he can only expect one result from the test. He will be given the lowest possible score. He will fail the test due to his inability to clearly explain himself in English. It is almost as if he aimed to get the lowest possible score in every section. This sort of writing does not show a desire to pass the test. I wonder why he feels like an authority when giving other students advice, but is incapable of seeing his own mistakes. Stop advising other students here when you cannot even write a coherent sentence in English. The paragraphs are confusing, spelling is horrible, and the overall essay violates more than several English grammar rules. The discussion is worthless due to lack of coherent expression. His writing cannot be understood by the native English speaker/ examiner. Students here should only take the advice of this person if they want to also fail the test. Any good advice he gives is only a plagarism / restatement of Educational consultant advice, for which his account will soon be banned since he already received 2 warnings about it and yet he still keeps doing it.

## student accommodation graph Hi, I am practicing on my writing for IELTs. Is it possible for you to spare some time reading and commenting on my writing. Thank you for any help in advance. And by the way, are there any other terms that I can use to naturally paraphrase 'student' (except for 'pupil')? The graph gives information on how students' accommodation choices differed throughout the fifty-year period. Overall, it is apparent that most students preferred to be in a shared house or flat with their counterparts over the given time frame. Moreover, apart from sharing room with others, the remaining ways generally became less prevalent overtime. In the 1960s, approximately one-third of pupils chose to live with their friends in a shared place. This figure then almost doubled to 60% in the 1980s, at which point it continued to rise by a mere 5% every ten years, subsequently reaching a peak of 70% at the end of the period. In the meantime, the percentage of those who lived in dormitories was initially 15%. The number witnessed mild fluctuations between 15 and 20% in the next three decades, and eventually drop to more or less 12% in the 2000s. With regard to those who paid to stay with a host family and those living at home with their family, they registered numbers of 35% and 15% respectively in the 1960s, which were the same as the previous groups. After that, both figures went down at a relatively similar pace until the 1990s, with the former being twice as high as the latter (10% and 5% respectively). The final years, however, marked the change in preference between the two options when there was a sudden jump to roughly 12% in the proportion of students living with family, in comparison with the decrease to 5% in the other group's number. *

Synonyms that can be used are learners, disciple, school child, undergraduate, scholars, to name but a few. However, the synonym used will depend mostly on the age of the student or school level attendance. be careful with the synonym usage. For task 1 and 2 practice essays, I recommend the use of an online synonym reference to help with vocabulary building. When developing the summary, do not use alternate time references yet. Due to data clarity requirements, the inclusive years reference is needed. It helps the reader keep track of the reporting reference early on as well. Use a definitive image reference to help the reader develop a mental picture. Remember, he cannot see the image and is relying on the descriptive report for accurate data recreation. By the way, task 1 essays use between 150-200 words. Do not write this as a Task 2 essay of at least 250 words. One cannot write that many word within 20 minutes. 175 words will be sufficient for editing and scoring considerations.

## problems of overpopulation In recent years, the world is experiencing a population explosion, this is causing a wide range of problems in our society. I would like to show some consequenses of this problem and suggest some solutions with a view to solving this issue. First of all, population explosion in third-world countries may cause a plethora of issue in nature. While living, people consume the materials from nature and release wastes, many people blissfully unaware of protecting the environment and many environmental damage takes place such as deforestation, global warming or greenhouse effect. Therefore, the more people are born, the worse the nature will be. In addition, overpopulation can cause traffic congestion in industrialized countries. For example, there are more and more people have their own private vehicles in Europe. Consequently, increasing the number of private vehicles results in the problem of traffic delays and congestion on roads. By above reasons, I suggest that the government should take the consideration of this problems so as to solve this problem. For poor countries, it would be exellent if the government can encourage people preserve the enviroment by holding numerous enviromental project campaign; encourage people use solar energy, wind energy instead of nuclear power. In term of affluent countries, I suggest people should use public transport instead of private vehicles. It not only solve the traffic congestion but also reduce exhaust fume to protect the atmosphere. To conclude, we need to take the consideration of overpopulation as beside is has lots of benefits to countries, it brings a variety of adverse impacts not only the society but also the nature.

The reference point for the discussion is the co-relation of population explosion to developing and developed nations and related solutions. For some reason, the writer has focused on the 3rd world only, with a sudden inclusion of developed nations in the solution paragraph. He has delived confusing paragraph presentations. This created a misdirected discussion and improperly discussed overall essay. Such an errors leaves the examiner with no choice but to fail the essay. All because he did not bother to countercheck or compare his discussion with the original presentation requirements. While he may receive an incomplete discussion credit, several other errors in word usage and grammar will be additional scoring obstacles that will prevent a passing scare consideration. Always review the writing requirements when the draft is completed to avoid failing scores based on technicalities.

**I'm learning for the IELTS exam. Please, help me check and mark the essay. Thank you so much.** ## Summarise the information from the diagram *Answer:* The given figure illustrates the different stages in the life of a honey bee, from birth to mature. Overall, there are 5 main steps in the development of a honey bee, beginning with an egg and finishing with a grown insect. It also can be seen that the life cycle lasts about 34-36 days. At the first stage of the life cycle, the female honey bees lay eggs, typically, 1 or 2 eggs are produced every 3 days. After 9-10 days, the newborn bees (also called nymphs) are hatched from eggs. The following stage in the development involves growing and moulting. The immature individuals grow quickly in size and shed their skin 3 times in this phase. The first time occurs 5 days after the nymphs were born, then 7 days and 9 days later. After that, the young adults merge from the final moulting stage. Finally, it takes the young honey bees 4 days to become fully grown adults and the cycle life starts again. *

A writer cannot describe an image as simply "the given figure". He must be specific about the image type since this will be a part of the task accuracy score. Such accurately descriptive terms should be familiar to the writer who is expected to know the various images used for this task. In this instance, the provided image was an illustrative diagram since it shows a cycle of development. Any section that does not meet the 3 sentence minimum requirement will not be scored as a complete paragraph. That means, the summary overview should have more content in its presentation. In actuality, the first paragraph should contain a merged: - Summary of information - Trending explanation These 2 requirements normally produce a 3-5 sentence paragraph. A presentation worthy of full TA scoring considerations. Descriptive / illustrative paragraphs must be better balanced within the presentation. It must follow the same paragraph sentence requirement and meet the analytical standards of the presentation. While the writer provided more than the minimum word count, the writer could have done a more thorough job of analysing and reporting on the first half of the life cycle. The complete life cycle calendar should have been mentioned in a more highlightable manner in the last paragraph as well.

## statistics of the household machines in use The line graphs show the proportion of household machines usage and the sum of time used to do household chores from 1920 to 2019. Overall, the need for refrigerators and vacuum cleaners rose dramatically over a century, while washing machine usage showed a light change. Meanwhile, the amount of time spent doing housework showed a decrease. In 1920, almost no one used refrigerators, while the percentage of vacuum cleaner and washing machine usage was 30% and 40% respectively. In 2019, the use of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners went up and reached 100%. In the meantime, the use of washing machines was less, just about 75% in 2019. Looking at the time spent doing housework, in 1920, it took up to 50 hours per week to do household chores. However, the number of hours used for doing this stuff decreased, just 20 hours. From 1960 to 2019, the number slightly declined, then was about 10 hours per week in 2019.

The summary as presented by the writer makes it appear that there is one image representing 2 measurement types by using the plural form of graph (the line graphs). Since there are 2 images provided which depict different but related information, he should have indicated the number of graphs prior to the image titles. That way the reader would be clear regarding the number of images and how these will be used to represent information within the report. As far as trending paragraphs go, the presentation is not fully balanced. For each upward trend, the downward trend should be represented. So, while the machine usage presented balanced information, the time used for work did not do the same. It should have followed the preceding format for information clarity. Consider writing at least 175 words in the next practice task. Writing just a little over 150 words does not really help meet the maximum scoring considerations for the overall rubic. Do not overwrite, but do not underwrite either.

## using translating applications or learning foreign language Nowadays some people are familiar with translating applications and ignoring the duty to accumulate new languages. My personal view point will be discussed in the following essay and getting to a conclusion. To begin with, it is undeniable that technological development brings benefits including translating applications. Firstly, the software allows users to communicate with foreigners immediately without a professional learning progress. For example, translation softwares now includes the voice transfering system that gives users the ability to use their native language with foreigners directly through the mobile device installed with the software, by speaking to the phone and it will return the language that the partner will understand through the speaker. Secondly, the applications help the technology users to avoid struggling in learning a new language. There are an enormous number of people using online dictionaries included in translation software as their learning documentary and without these applications, the accumulating progress will take more effort as it becomes more difficult. On the downside which I firmly believe, translation softwares also brings a number of backward effects compared to learning the language. Firstly, the accuration of the software is still a major concern. Many translating applications resulted in the misunderstanding of the language's meaning among the users, which may lead to the confusion in communicating and the worse is the low quality of education and learning languages. Secondly, a number of people who depend on these technologies may ignore their duty to acquire a new language, as a consequence leading to their underrated classification to adapt to nowadays world, which is highly demanding for language flexibility. In conclusion, although technological development comes with technological tools that benefit people in the language field, I still hold to my belief that the most beneficial method to acknowledge more about language is learning

The writer has created an orginal prompt statement rather than simply restating the original prompt. As such, the task rewriting considerationn have not been met. If one were to look at the orginal topic, he would see that his opening statement is totally unrelated to the first version. He has not given a clear measured opinion either, leaving the examiner without a preliminary response to score. A flatly stated opinion is used to score the accuracy of the response in relation to the discussion instruction. The provided paragraph does not meet formatting requirements. On the downside which I firmly believe This is the required response in the first paragraph that was necessary to help establish the succeeding discussion. Add to this the incompletely discussed openon and one will understand the failing score. There is a lack of early opinion reference, strong opinion reasons covering 2 stand-alone paragraphs, and a properly developed discussion presentations. clear LR problems and inaccurate sentence formats are the final series of enors that will prevent a passing score.

***Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. Conversations have been sparked constantly about the exacerbation of global environmental problems. While many believe that the gradual disappearance of certain natural species is the most urgent threat, others argue that there are a lot more pressing environmental issues. This essay will discuss both views and explain the idea that global warming is of greater concern than any other matter. On the one hand, the diminishing availability of natural species is warranting our attention. Our ecosystem, which has taken millions of years to perfect and evolve, has been being destroyed and obliterated by a profusion of human activities such as illegal poaching, squatting and deforestation. For example, many companies are trying to cut down trees in forest areas in order to construct resorts, hotels and factories as a part of expanding their businesses. Consequently, not only do many types of animals are on the brink of extinction attributed to the loss of their natural habitats but many valuable species of plants have also been vanishing without any trace. On the other hand, it is global warming that is constantly putting human existence at risk. This kind of problem is believed to be the culprit behind the worsening of our climate. For instance, 2022 has recorded UK's highest temperature at more than 40 celsius degree in July, marking the first time this country has ever experienced such an intense heatwave since the early 2000s. Furthermore, the warmer pattern of the Earth also results in many more extreme natural disasters such as drought, ice caps melting, flood, and severe wildfires, causing more people worldwide to suffer from poverty, and diseases as well as running a higher risk of losing their lives. To recapitulate, while I do believe that the disappearance of certain natural species is one of the most trivial matters that should be addressed properly, it seems to me that we had better make an attempt to resolve global warming, which is a more threatening matter to our existence on Earth.

There is no discussion reference in the ougeval in relation to Conversations have been sparked constantly It is better for the writer's score if he does not exaggerate any statements that could alter the original focus. Examiners dislike this practice and often score down paragraphs with such references. While the 2 public statement interpretations are done properly, there is a lack of clear reference to the writer's opinion that indicates an improperly developed response sentence. Points will be deducted due to this. Group first person references should not be used in the general point of view discussion. Group second person references are advised for use in this section. singular first person references are used to indicate the writer's opinion. The writer's clear first person opinion discussion should be presented in a third reasoning paragraph. It is unacceptable to refer to this in the conclusion and will result in a failing score for that paragraph.

Please help me with these two writing tasks ***It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.*** ## Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? It is said that taking risks brings us many benefits in both professional life and personal life will. However, it also has plenty of limitations. First of all, it will cause huge losses if we make a failure, whereas, in personal life, the loss would not be much harmful. More specifically, just for a little error, people have to take responsibility not only for themselves but also for others such as colleagues, friends, family, and so on. And the consequence we have to bare is the loss of money, fame, the waste of time, and energy. Besides, from an economic point, failures from failing to overcome risks also harm society. While in personal life, failure due to risky decisions or situations, which gives an adverse effect on us, is even less hazardous. On the other hand, we could receive some benefits thanks to taking risks. The very first example of this is that we can learn how to prepare for every situation. Under all circumstances, people will try to make every effort by thinking and even try to find more effective ways to deal with each failure. Secondly, accepting unsuccessful things in life helps us to be more responsible to ourselves, and to society, as well as to support the improvement of personal skills for later achievements. Fail does not mean the end, and if we overcome, we may get everyones' recognition and admiration. In brief, there are both advantages and disadvantages to taking the risk. Everyone will have their own opinion but in my view, even though the benefits outweighed the drawbacks the sweet fruits that we can obtain after adventurous trips are worth the risk we try.

The prompt restatement is fully inapplicable to the original topic. It does not refer to the original discussion in any way. It actually presents a different topic focus because the original talks of the importance of taking risks, while the interpretation discusses benefits that risks bring to a person. It is discussing limitations when that is not the reference point of the discussion instruction. Therefore, the essay has not appropriately interpreted the first version of the presentation. It will not receive a passing accuracy score. As for the discussion paragraph, the writer presents a confusing discussion that is difficult to follow. It should have 2 paragraphs that represent the 2 discussion topics previously indicated. There should be a complete discussion covering one paragraph for the personal consideration and a second one considering the professional aspect. The writer does not clearly represent these considerations in his idea development. In the end, he indicates that there are both advantages and disadvantages, which runs counter to the single opinion discussion format for this type of question. It must not indicate that both sides are correct. It will be score based upon how well the writer explains the benefits or lack of benefits of one point of view. There are no passing merits for this essay presentation.

## *Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world.* **What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?** In spite of the recent advancements, lack of shelter is witnessed to have surged over the past years. The current status of overpopulation and unemployment are primarily responsible for this, but if the authority advocates stricter family as well as socio-economic plans, more human beings will afford housing. To begin with, the olverwhelming appearances in various wealthy cities significantly contributes to how seriously people are lacking home. Owing to the prosperity of such developed places as New York or London, many country dwellers follow the rural depopulation not only acquire more well-qualified higher education but also seek more potential career opportunities than in their poor and far-flung hometowns. The overloaded inflow that has been continuous until now are likely to put pressure on housing problems as another welfare controversy, but this will be not too serious as long as people keep obeying regulations regarding newborns in each family. For instance, in two top overpopulated nations China and Vietnam, the governments have, for decades, more profoundly encouraged adults to give birth to not over two children, otherwise, receive adverse penalties. In addition, the serious lack of occupations can also be viewed as a major reason. In other words, if an individual had not been well-trained with regard to profession in retrospect, no member of staff would find a suitable job and make a living now which are essential for basic needs like a house to be sustained. Therefore, a feasible solution would again originate from the governments whose roles are to advocate the expansion of existing companies as well as the opening of new start-ups. To illustrate, once they execute a lower tax payment global agreement, the economy will rise consitstently and immensely, so the homeless may be faciliated to step on more open career paths and inevitably earn more money to purchase a house or an apartment. In conclusion, this dilemma explicitly results from the intensity of cities as well as the unemployment. It is also insisted that the authority should play an integral part in tackling this serious issue. I wrote this for 5 minutes above allowed, but I cannot really think of a way to shorten any sentence, can you give me feedback and suggestions please? I will be very grateful!

The reason that there was an over writing time is because the writer was focused on writing reasons rather than discussions. Notice how there are more than 2 topics per paragraphs, with some topics veering into unrelated or deviated discussion focus for the presentation. These will definitely cause timing problems for the writer. For example: The overloaded inflow that has been continuous until now are likely to put pressure on housing problems as another welfare controversy, This is an example of an irrelevant discussion that cut into the writing time. Never lose focus of the subject matter. Do not add discussions that would alter the original target. It wastes time and takes up valuable word count that could be used to create a more definitive discussion presentation. Please take note of how the accompanying solution presentation is left hanging. The proposed solution, as it applies to Vietnam is not completely explained to the reader. Creating an inconclusive discussion paragraph.

***Students have to pay for their studies as it only benefits individuals rather than society.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is thought by some that students have to be in charge of their study on their own as it is only beneficial to them instead of society as a whole. This could be true to a certain extent, I disagree that students are supposed to receive no financial support. To begin with, it is true that education benefits students as it provides them with both theoretical knowledge as well as necessary skills for their future careers. However, it will be a serious issue for underprivileged students having to be responsible for a huge amount of tution fees. There are those who are talented and clever students but they can not afford their studies due to poor living backgrounds. Therefore, if students are not financially supported, they might have to suffer financial burdens or student loans, which then makes them always think about how to work their way through college. As a result, there will be an increasing number of low-qualified students with bad academic performances owing to the lack of time for studying, further causing society to undergo more losses than benefits. Nevertheless, society also reaps the merits of giving students the opportunities to pursue higher education. More precisely, universities support students who can do the best of their potential and contribute to the prosperity of the nation. Medical schools, for example, offer scholarships for meritorious candidates, and offer graduation, they will be highly competent doctors who can save many people's lives and serve humanity. Besides, financial aid in terms of studying for students can help alleviate the unemployment rate, further boosting the economic growth thanks to high-qualified labor workforce. In conclusion, although students are said to pay the cost of their studies as it benefits themselves, I would opine that students learning process more or less has a positive impact on society as a whole.

Do not refer to something as a public opinion, when it is not indicated as such in the original presentation. Be true to the original. That means, the writer must learn to write using general references, without any group indicators since it cannot be reference in the original topic. The writer also offers a confusing opinion statement in the paragraph: This could be true to a certain extent, I disagree that Which is it? Do you support that it is a true statement to a certain degree or, that you disagree with it to a certain extent? this confusing / lack of a clear opinion will immediately garner this essay a failing score. Why? the main task scoring criteria is "the writer must present a clear opinion" within the writer's opinion statement. Failure to do so will result in a confusing presentation that does not have a clear task response / discussion direction. There is no sense in further reviewing this essay beyond this point since the essay has already failed the major scoring criteria.

## less family times these days In many countries, people spend less and less time with their families. There are many reasons that cause this trend, which run as follows. Above all, the style of life changes. In the past, the young in a family usually work in the same city and live closely due to the bad traffic. However, the children in a family now generally go to different cities to get better life quality when they study and work, which causes them to have few opportunities to go back home and stay with their parents. Besides, the mobile phones appear. Nowadays almost everyone has a smart phone with many attractive and interesting applications on it. Many people often use the phone to watch videos and play games all the day instead of talking with their family. Sometimes even two people in one room just play on their own phones without any communication. So what will this situation cause? In my opinion, it will cause the conflict between the family members. The less time people use with their family, the worse the relationship between them is. It may cause the quarrel and cold violence even a fighting in the family. In conclusion, there are plenty of bad consequences caused by this trend. People should spend more time with their families to build healthy family relationships.

Under normal examination circumstances, this essay will automatically receive a failing task score since the writer only wrote 220/250 words. As such, the discussion is perceived to be under developed and with little consideration for scoring criteria on the part of the writer. This is not going to be an essay that will receive a passing score even before a complete assessment of the work has been completed. When read in depth, it will appear that the writer has an almost cut and paste reference to the original topic instead of a reworded representation. The writer does not make an effort to create a new line of thought that follows the original topic foundation. Then, the opinion statement is devoid of any scorable content as it does not provide any writer insight based on the given discussion questions. Hence, this paragraph will be given a failing score by the examiner. That makes 2 reasons for immediate failing score assessments even before the content in the reasoning paragraphs are reviewed. The writer does not really discuss the reasons in a greater capacity. Instead, the writer only gives reasons for the occurrence, which defeats the purpose of the reasoning statement. A rhetorical paragraph presentation in the second paragraph did not serve to deliver a stronger results / effects paragraph either. The writer is too quick to dismiss simple reasoning as valid, when a more complex representation that meets LR, C+C, and GRA requirements are needed.

## Ielts essay about advertising ***If a product is good enough or it meets people's needs, people will buy it. Therefore, advertising is unnecessary and no more than an entertainment, what is your opinion?*** Many people believe that a customer will purchase a product they see as compatible with their requirements, as a result, advertisement is redundant and just serves to entertain people. In my opinion, this idea is seriously flawed as I will explain further in this essay. Firstly, advertising informs people of the various choices they have. Were it not for the promotions people often see, they would not know about other product that may serve them better than the one they are currently using. A housewife in Vietnam, for example, keeps buying a type of industrial fish source as she thinks that it does fine for her family. However, through the advertisement on television about a type of traditional fish source which is higher in quality, this woman can make a wiser choice to improve her family's daily meals. Thus, customers are given the chance to realize a better product that serves the same purpose. Further, advertisement makes the market more competitive and the main beneficiaries of which are customers. One of the deciding factor in each purchase is the price and companies often compete in terms of this element. Usually, the main tool they use to propagate their competitively priced merchandise is advertisement; therefore, customers will benefit from this. If there is no advertisement, then, it is likely that there is no need for a company to make their product competitive as buyers are unaware of the prices their rivals offer. In conclusion, the idea that advertising is worthless is seriously flawed. Maybe customers will find products they assume are good enough in any supermarket they visit; however, access to even higher-quality ones with better price options can only be provided through advertisement.

Good work on the prompt restatement. It is altered enough to pass as the original thought of the author. This will show the examiner that the comprehension skills of the writer extends to his ability to use enough English vocabulary to get a close enough version of the original across to the reader. The opinion presentation is also well presented but lacking the summarized supporting topic presentation at the end. The summarized topics being necessary to help further enhance the comprehension skills and task compliance score of the essay. The writer kept on referring to "fish source" in the essay. That is incorrect as the reference is "fish sauce". A source is the beginning of something while a sauce is a flavor enhancer. He was referring to the latter meaning. A simple mistake? Yes, but one that will have a slight lowering effect on his vocabulary score. When the writer wrote the reverse paraphrase in the conclusion, he kind of lost track of the discussion topic foundation. It is not that advertising is worthless. The reference was that advertising could be considered unnecessary since it is only used to entertain people. This incorrect restatement will affect the accuracy score of the task discussion. All things considered though, the discussion paragraphs are strong, convincing, and cohesive enough. It is obvious that the writer has good control of his sentence development and punctuation usage, sections where others often fail in the test. The overall essay will not be severely affected by the scoring deductions that will be applied to some parts of the presentation. The word count is just enough to gain full or moderate scoring considerations based on sectional scoring requirements.

***It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history.*** ## To what extent, argree or disagree ? In this day and age, it is believed that learning local history is more crucial for pupils than gaining knowledge about the world's past events. To a certain extent, I firmly suppose that these two aspects of history are equally significant. To begin with, it is true that school students should be taught about national history due to the fact that it is the backbone of any society. More precisely, learning about local history allows students to have a throughout insight into their own cultures and how their countries have evolved over a long period of time. The ancestors, for example, struggled to fight against foreign invaders to maintain sovereign and national freedom. For this reason, local history records their sacrifice, further encouraging patriotism as well as instilling national identities among students Nevertheless, I strongly opine that it is also worth researching past events around the world. If school students are well-equipped with profound knowledge of world history, they are more likely to shape a well-rounded perspective. To explain this further, the youngsters are capable of learning about the people, the culture of oversea nations previously through world history, facilitating them to have more comprehensive and thorough views about the way in which the world works. For instance, the two world- wars are important historical events that almost schools around the globe include them in the national curriculum. In conclusion, despite the fact that many people prefer local history to world history. I personally suppose that school students should be provided with both local and international aspects of this subject.

Avoid using timeframe references in task 2 essays. That should not be referenced in any discussion unless a time frame is specifically mentioned in the original presentation. Doing so creates an inaccurate restatement of the original topic. A writer cannot also "firmly suppose" an opinion since "supposing" indicates a lack of opinion clarity and inability to come up with a proper response to the question. The writer shows a lack of proper opinion statement abilities. Such a reference will result in a failing score being provided for that section. The writer should not "strongly opine" something in the middle of the essay. Either present that at the start, as a part of a strong writer's opinion presentation or at the end as a part of the summary conclusion. If one will review this essay, it will appear that the writer also contradicts his own opinion since he first stated that he "firmly suppose(s)" a reference. The contradiction will result in a confusing opinion that will affect the clarity of the discussion. Which is it? What is the writer actually supporting here?

## is money the key consideration for taking a job? It is true that plenty of elements have influences on driving workers into different directions of their career path. While some argue that money is the key consideration, I personally disagree with the idea. I believe that employees are increasingly refusing to keep up with the traditional trajectory where stable works with corresponding cumulative salaries are appreciated and instead pursuing multistage employment where they can develop professional expertise. In early stages of a career, workers, especially to graduated students and novices, have a propensity to take money into no consideration, yet prioritize personal development and working experiences. This period is about to set a milestone for long-term career development and even maximize their potentials provided that they are in the right paths. To be more specific, if they are trained under guidance of supportive colleagues or accommodated with necessary facilities, they are able to widen their knowledge. This is by far the fastest way to be expert in their fields and a great income now comes as an inevitable prize of devotion. On the contrary, workers would miss many opportunities in case they are on the economic side right in the first place. In later stages of a career, workers tend to stick with jobs that can actually bring grant value. Because they have years of accruing in both financial and professional terms, the jobs at which they are aiming have to meet their aspirations. It is worth noting that those desires can be not for themself, but for social benefit. For example, senior software engineers try to create applications that can facilitate the handicapped with outstanding functions even though it is a niche market and rarely make a profit. In conclusion, I do not think money can outweigh other motivators in affecting people's choice of profession.

There is no need to say that something is true in the restatement when the opposite is represented in the basic presentation. The restatement should not add information nor alter the original point of view in any way. That is because points will be lost when the writer changes the slant of the discussion in any way. That said, the writer's opinion is well established and offers a complete insight as to how the succeding discussion will be progressing. So the paragraph has both merits and demerits that will affect the preliminary score. have a propensity to take money into no consideration, can actually bring grant value I am not clear about what you are trying to say in this section. Did you mean that money is not a consideration for fresh graduates and new hires? What were you referencing as a grant value? I believe this is a transliteration that created an LR problem. Remember to review all your statements for clarity. When the examiner is confused in any way, he will apply deductions to the score. Work on writing longer concluding summaries. It should be at least 40 words long otherwise it will not receive full scoring marks.

## should children use their phones at school or not In this era of major changes, the influence of technological devices is massive for people in all ages, especially children. Some educational experts are skeptical about whether children should use their phones or not. In this essay, I will discuss both views and draw up my conclusion. First and foremost, using phones during the school day offers students a variety of opportunities to expand their knowledges. To be more specific, in case teachers aren't capable of responding to the student's question, the internet can be a great help in answering the curiosity of the children. Furthermore, using phones can also increase the flexibility of the classroom. In this day and age, the number of online websites and apps using games and quizzes to study is enormous, facilitating students and teachers to an easier and more creative learning approach. For example, Kahoot, and Quizzes have been leading as the most visited app in the classroom as a way to stimulate and encourage students to learn. On the other hand, some opponents of using phones during the school day might claim that phones can make students unable to fully concentrate on the lectures. According to recent reports, people working and using electrical devices namely: phones, computer can have the possibility of having health-related problems. Moreover, it is true that students using phones can be distracted by other issues, which can dampen their marks in the exam.To sum up, while using phones during the school day can be disadvantageous for some reasons, the benefits of phones might outweigh its drawbacks. The availability of knowledge on the internet and apps using games and quizzes to study might be a great tool stimulate and encourage students to learn better at school.

The writer has misunderstood the writing instruction. When asked to discuss both views and give an opinion, he is not being asked to offer a conclusion based upon the discussion topic. Rather, he is asked to provide an insight into how he views each of the given public points of view. Since the writer's opinion is incorrectly stated, it will not receive a passing score. It cannot receive a proper score because it contradicts the given discussion instruction. A repeated reading of the prompt restatement shows that the writer also misinterpreted the writing discussion in terms of topic and points of view. the original discussion is based upon the thought of needing to ban students from using mobile phones during school days only. The opposing side believes this to be an unnecessary action. The writer stated that educational experts have misgivings about allowing children to use cellphones in general. It lacks the proper discussion foundation and reasoning claims as indicated in the original presentation. Therefore, the restatement is incorrect and will receive a failing score. It will be impossible for this essay to receive a passing score based on these 2 errors alone. Since the prompt restatement + writer's opinion comprises a majority of the major scoring considerations, it will be improbable that this essay will be granted a passing score since there are additional deductions to be applied within the actual discussion presentation itself. Offering an accurate prompt restatement and a relevant opinion sentence is of the utmost importance in task 2 essays. Make a mistake in this section and the possibility of passing the test becomes unlikely.

***There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive.*** ## Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Dear Mr. Beluzsky Benthooven, I send this letter for you to illustrate the problems being happening in our reception area. First of all, our guests complained that there are not enough seats for them in the smoking room. Secondly, many customers feel uncomfortable with the noise of the Computer Room next to the Waiting Station. Last but not least, some of air-conditionings in this area have been working unproductively for several weeks. Like the other organizations, this is the most significant place where appears on visitors' and workers' first sight whenever they come to the company. Furthermore, when we make it become perfectly, it could capture the customer's hearts and let them feel satisfy with our service. As a consequence, visitors would ready to pay money for us and the staffs could be loyalty by some ways. So, I suggest that our company might buy some seats and put them in the smoking room. Besides, we should leave the Waiting Station to another place where has no sound. Then, we must to order 15 new economical air-conditionings or just fix the old ones. If there is any problem, please reply me.

The writer shows a clear lack of knowledge when it comes to structuring a coherent English sentence. His English writing abilities can be judged at this point to be at a beginner level. He has difficulty using the correct English words to express himself, meaning he has a severely limited English vocabulary. His writing is limited by his lack of English based education. The writing tends to lack professionalism and comes across as very abrasive to the reader. A professionally written letter should carry a professional and respectful tone at all times. Though he has provided all of the required elements for the letter, the method of presentation and lack of proper word usage, GRA problems, and a cohesive presentation in relation to a coherent paragraph are what will make him fail this test.

- Motivations with which you apply for this program - Family and Education background - Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you - Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences - If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc. ## PERSONAL STATEMENT "The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge." Like me, who was motivated by my father's love and genuine concern for my schooling. I am an ambitious woman from a rural who is determined to disprove the widespread belief that women do not require education. This view results from the fact that there is still a severe lack of public awareness regarding education, some parents take their kids to school merely as a formality, and the majority only complete high school. They believe that education is a waste of money and pointless. Therefore, I have to show that being a woman from a rural area does not prevent me from pursuing higher education. One moment in my life motivates me to get this scholarship when my father said that he had a dream of owning his own business and opening up job opportunities for the surrounding community. Business is not an easy thing, Because I need knowledge related to these fields and work practices so that we have experience. If my father does not rely on me, who will make his dreams come true? Finally, I decided to go to school by taking the Business Management Expertise program. During school, I learned about Automation and Office Governance and practical implementation, such as Automation and Personnel Governance, Financial Automation and Governance, and General Administration. I carried out internship tests in two different branches, namely PT. Gapura Angkasa and PT. Prathita Titanusantara. I was in charge of servicing ticket check-in, baggage inspection, baggage labeling, and supervising until the baggage got into the plane. During this internship, I improved my communication skills and the ability to work with many people. I also had several activities in non-academic, such as Student Council, Traditional Dance, and Flag Raising Troops. In my second year, I became The Head of the Student Council. During my tenure, I was active in various activities, for instance, extracurricular exhibition events to attract new students. The most challenging thing for me in handling this event was when I had to lead discussions with various extracurricular groups. However, despite all the difficulties, I could improve my adaptability, conflict management, and problem-solving for will be very useful when I study in South Korea later. I believe that the Bachelor of Business Administration in South Korea fits my interests and goals in the future. One of the courses that make me interested is in Marketing. I hope that by studying this course, I will be able to master the basic concepts of marketing products and services, learn to design products and services, as well as production planning and control. After studying in South Korea, I want to apply my knowledge to realize my goals and contribute to Bilateral Relations between Indonesia and South Korea, especially in the economic field. I believe my company in the future can work together to expand investment relations and international trade. I hope my company's future contributions to Indonesia and South Korea can inspire others to make small changes in their lives. Because life is not about finding yourself, life is creating yourself.

Is the citation based on the father's words? if so. then it should be identified as such since all quotes need to be given a source. It will help to add to the opening sentiment of the writer as well. However, the slant of the introduction should not only be about how the applicant wants to achieve an important tertiary education overseas, it must also integrate the motivation for the choice of BA as a course. The educational consideration should only play a secondary role in the motivation. The writer has taken applicable secondary education courses in relation to the undergraduate course decision. However, the extra curricular activities do not show any reasons why the student will be successful in this field. It would help if the applicant can relate extra curricular activities in relation to BA such as starting his own business, having a part time job, or any exposure that will prove he used his secondary education to pursue his BA interests. These will help create the proper foundation for his basic training and skills development which in turn, will help give credence to his application. Interest in the way Koreans do business should be a highlight of the motivating factors presented. The writer does not refer to a relevant interest in Korea in the essay and yet hopes to be awarded a scholarship to study in the country. It does not work that way. The reasons that you are impressed by the Korean BA model should be the strongest motivating factor for the decision to apply for this scholarship.

## Nothing can be done to prevent crime. To which extent do you agree or not? Unquestionably, crime has always constituted an acute deterrent to nations' development and security worldwide, which from certain perspectives, are by no means able to be impeded. As far as I concerned, infractions prevention is within our grasp if various methods are executed, such as enhancement of overall living environment of societies and incarceration process. First of all, the quality of living environment plays a determining role in crime rate of a community. As opposed to those who attain high standard of living, citizens residing in poverty-stricken areas would run a much higher risk of unemployment, poor health care, discrimination and so on. Should sufficient allocation of funds be factored in, people would not turn to illegal activities at the expense of making ends meet. Such investment would not only bring about stabilization of the crime rate in a particular area, but also create equal opportunities for people to obtain, hence improving the overall prosperity and sustainability of a society. Secondly, authorities should take rehabilitation as a priority over stringent punishments. To illustrate, the vicious cycle of recidivism is a pressing issue for that retribution would constitute a contributor to lawbreakers' tendency of violence rather than expected remorse for their wrongdoings. Above all, the practice of vocational training and life skills education would act as a precursor to offenders' reintegration as they are no longer have to commit crimes to make a living. Moreover, sympathy should be raised towards citizens who used to be inmates, otherwise isolation and discrimination would act as a potential catalyst for repeat offences. In conclusion, the prevention of law violation is a tough process for societies to go through, but still an attainable goal if proper measures like transformation of the overall living environment and reformation be carried out.

Do not immediately discuss the essay topic in the first paragraph. That is an automatic failing score since the scoring foundation, based on the restatement and writer's opinion presentation, were not properly established. It is important to never certify any aspect of a point of view as being unequestionable since the task 2 essay is always based on a written debate format. Never forget either, that in an extent essay, the writer is required to provide his opinion based upon an emotional or degree of (non) support response. These qualifications were not met by the opening paragraph and therefore, could result in an automatic failing preliminary score for the essay. The discussion approach of the writer is well executed. He provides a single opinion support discussion as required and offers strong examples to support his explanation. Although these were done well. the problems with the prompt restatement + writer's opinion and the reverse paraphrase for the concluding summary are what may limit the scoring potential of this discussion presentation. While there are some mistakes in sentence structure and punctuation usage, the scores are mostly based on the logical thinking and ability of the test taker to explain himself in English. Mistakes in punctuation usage and sentence structures (when not confusing to the reader) can be overlooked to a small degree so as not to affect the final score of the examinee.

***Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words (Please help me evaluate this essay's mark in Ielts. Thanks a ton ) MY ESSAY: These days, some people would argue that it is no longer necessary for public museums and art galleries to be opened because of the fact that historical relics and artistic masterpieces can be appreciated with a computer. Regarding this, I personally disagree with this idea totally, as now will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, I support the idea that public museums and art galleries had better be opened for the purpose of protecting historical objects and art works from being spoiled. It is undeniable that these objects relating to the history and art are priceless and need conserving. For instance, many museums and art galleries have recently been erected to preserve valuable art and historical works such as well-known pictures like Mona Lisa, the Screaming .... Besides, public museums and art galleries are also destinations that attract tons of tourists. Most people would prefer to go to these places to appreciate historical gadgets and art works rather than watching them through a computer. On the other hand, I believe that museums and art galleries should be kept for educational purposes. Instead of teaching students about history and art through images and pictures on a computer, it would be effective for students to enjoy and watch directly historical stuff and art works in the museums and art galleries under their teachers' instruction. With doing that, students can be significantly stimulated to study about history and art in school. In collusion, while it is argued by someone that public museums and art galleries will be unnecessary since people can see historical objects and art works by their computers, I support the opposite idea that these places should be maintained due to many advantages.

While the word choice of the writer for the prompt restatement is a bit out of context when reviewed against the original, the essence of the sentiment is still the same so the examiner will find that version acceptable enough to warrant some scoring consideration. However, the confusing writer's opinion is another story. It uses and extent and emotional response where a simple indicator was needed and it does not present any establishing reasons for the writer's opinion. Thus the writer's opinion will be scored as having missed the important thesis presentation, which will be a low score due to lack of opinion clarity. The reasoning paragraph should have presented 2 paragraph topics that would explain the need to keep museums open in comparison to computer viewing. By opening his first statement with "To begin with" he effectively showed that he was defending his stance in the paragraph. However, when he indicated "On the other hand", he indicated that he would be contradicitng the previous statement. Yet, he produced another supporting example for his opinion. So, why the opinion was supported, the framework of the sentence was incorrect. He should not have indicated "on the other hand". The correct term to use would have been "Additionally" or "In addition to the previous statement..." The writer shows that he does not have a good understanding of the English language. He uses the word "collusion" which means; "a secret agreement, especially for fraudulent or treacherous purposes; conspiracy". He wanted to use the word "conclusion" which refers to; " the end or final close". Perhaps he was confused because the words sound similar to a certain degree. However, the phrase "in conclusion" is a normal placeholder taught in IELTS classes so this mistake was really avoidable.

## Young people know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people These days, the youth pay more attention to entertainment celebrities than the historic figures of their nations. Reasons behind this trend will be analyzed and several solutions should be proposed to improve the situation. There are two reasons why young people are more attracted by famous music and movie stars instead of their countries' history. One reason is that social media gives wings to the spread of the fame of celebrities. It is common to notice that their work and live always grab the headlines of magazines, especially the online ones, drawing teenagers' attention toward these topics. Another reason is the tedious teaching method of history in school. Due to the lack of practical activities and learning by heart a great deal of information about historical events, students must experience feelings of boredom and stress. However, solutions can be proposed to make the youth more intersted about the historical people of their countries. Firstly, movies may be an effective approach to bring history closer to teenagers. Moving images with sound will keep young people's fascinated about the sacrifice of national heroes and heroines in bloody wars, especially those which have their idols to star in. Secondly, the teaching method in history class can be tailored to arouse students' interests. For example, providing the students opportunities to visit museum or historical heritage can diversify their learning activities and thus promote their curiosity and memorization of historical names and events. In conclusion, in spite of the neglect of young people for historic people of their countries and paying intention to famous celebrities, this trend can be improved by several suggested solutions.

The prompt restatement is well developed. However, the establishing discussion topics are missing from the opinion statement, thus leaving the examiner without a clear idea as to how the writer plans to connect the 2 discussion references in the discussion paragraphs. It was the weak formatted writer's opinion that created a lower than expected score for that section. Increased points will always be given to students who show a strong C+C skill in their writing. In this writer's case, his LR ang GRA considerations will be equal in scoring. His C+C score however, could have have a better opportunity to increase his score had he properly formatted the discussion points first. For increased scoring, he should have opened the first reasoning paragraph with the weakness involved in the way that the historical figures are introduced. Following it up with the strength of celebrity through social media would have shown that the writer used an analytical point of view for his discussion. That presentation format would have been a major plus for the scoring section. The same applies to the solution paragraph. For cohesive considerations, the same information presentation format as the first should have been followed as I suggested. These would have resulted in a maximized C+C scoring consideration. Overall, the essay is not going to fail since it meets all of the passing score requirements. However, it could have gotten a higher than expected score if certain aspects were presented in a particular manner.

## importance of Money in a workplace In today's society, many people would rather choose a job with high wages than the get a job fulfillment due to several reasons. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement. In the following essay, the reasons to support my view will be discussed in detail. For a variety of reasons, it is the fact that a person who does a job that brings him or her fulfillment can receive part of his reward in the form of a so-called "psychic wage" and that is the thing people who go to work just for a high income is hard to get. When people find their occupation intriguing, they can do it enthusiastically without feeling exhausted and get the better fruits of their labor. Job happiness might lower the risk of psychological diseases caused by work pressure, such as overtime, poor wages, fastidious bosses, and meanness of colleagues. Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I believe that it would be better to have a good income. In recent years, the cost of living is becoming higher and higher, people need a certain amount of money to pay for necessary expenses such as accommodation, electricity bill, tuition and so forth. The quality of life is probably better if you are abundantly supplied with money. For example, in a wealthy family, their child has more opportunities to get into an international school or study abroad and does not feel inferior to their friends. With high earnings, people can save a spare sum of money for special situations namely traffic accidents, sudden sickness, and the like. For instance, during the pandemic, many people are unemployed and in financial difficulty because they have no reserve money to pay for fees and food bills. In conclusion, there will be difficulties and pressure if you are unable to do a job that satisfies you, but money will be a worthy recompense for resolving your critical life issues.

When writing the prompt estatement do not indicate "several reasons" when it cannot be referred to in the original presentation. Such word fillers reduce the accuracy of the writer's interpretation. Yes, the writers version will be compared with the original topic due to accuracy requirements. Any lapses, exaggerations, and misrepresentations will meet with scoring deductions. Even the opinion response will be scrutinized in terms of response format. Incorrect responses, such as when extent and emotional responses like the one above are used instead of the appropriate simple response, shall receive reduced scoring consideration. Learn the response format differences. Do not repeat the discussion instructions nor explain what the next paragraphs will represent. That will not receive accuracy scores since it does not help support and prove the accuracy of your opinion. Provide the topic foundations for your opinion instead to receive points for that section. The writer does not really improve the response content of this essay with the overwriting that was done. Word and please fillers were mistakenly used as transition instruments. so while the essay is long, it does not really provide all of the solid scoring requirements. Less words with a clear explanation works best. This essay needs to better integrate sentence types. Everything said, I still have to admit that the discussion presented is logical. An important factor the examiner will consider when assessing the paper for scores.

***It is difficult for people living in ciites today get enough physical exercise.*** ## What are the causes? *Shortage of physical exercise is a prevailing situation among citizens* *This essay will examine the main causes of physical exertion loss and possible solutions to this problem.* The two main causes of workout shortfall are citizens' busy work schedules and the popularity of sedentary leisure activities. Since living costs in metropolises are tremendous, citizens tend to spend most of their time working, even at the weekend. As a result, they hardly ever have time for physical activity. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Americans worked an average of 34. 4 hours per week. Besides, engaging in screen time exercises such as watching TV or playing computer games seems to be a trendy way to relax these days. Hence, time spent doing sports or outdoor games has reduced significantly. A new study shows that the average American has more than five hours of leisure time a day, while only 20 minutes is for exercise. a number of possible solutions to this problem are raising people's awareness and installing more fitness equipment. When metropolises residents are fully aware of regular exercise's significance, they would invest more time participating in active exercise or doing workouts. Additionally, since more training device is set up in parks and other public areas, people tend to join in more exertion. Take Le Thi Rieng Park in Vietnam for example, it has attracted an increasing number of local residents after being equipped with more equipment. Besides, the government should build more bicycle lanes and make sidewalks safer in order to inspire more citizens to cycle or walk to walk. To conclude, hectic city life and new leisure activities are the cause of the reduction in time for physical exercising. However, we can significantly boost by raising alertness and providing more appliances

A review of the original prompt indicates that the writer should have provided reasoning topics for the questions provided. 2 causes and 2 solutions. These should have been presented over the remaining 4 sentences allowed for the paragraph since the writer has to establish the foundation of his opinion, based upon the restated topic. While the examiner will appreciate a repeat of the discussion instructions, he cannot give you points for that since it does not help establish the clarity of your opinion within the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. The reference can exist in the paragraph, but it will not help your score. Review the grammar rules when it comes to apostrophe usage. It cannot be used to indicate the plural form of a word and a word that should be in plural form should not be proprietarial in presentation. The writer also failed to capitalize the first word of a particular sentence in his presentation. A writing structure error of the notable kind. These are clear references to a lack of punctuation mark usage knowledge. As far as reasons go, the paragraph would have been better scored if the last sentence were not presented in the discussion anymore. Note how it was presented as a single sentence? Yeah, that is not going to qualify as a completely developed explanation paragraph so it will be a scoring deduction instead. This is the same situation that occurred in the solutions paragraph. So there will be 2 C+C deductions applied to the essay.

***There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is believed that people are motivated to stay in the workforce by some elements, as well as money is considered the most crucial factor. Although people put a premium on salary in the workforce, I do not agree that money is the most essential reason as there are still some other elements that motivate people to stay in the workforce. On the one hand, we can understand why money is an important factor. Money is an element that people notice when they apply for a job. More specifically, they are likely to look for a well-paid job and offer a high salary, and those who do that tend to stay in the workforce for a long time. In addition, people go to work to make money because it is needed for their daily life such as houses, clothes, food, and transportation. As a result, a high salary is a necessary element to have loyal staff. Nevertheless, there are also several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce. Firstly, the environment and association in the workplace can affect people's work. Specifically, a place that has many arguments between co-workers, or the boss's criticism can influence the staff's productivity, and those lead them to leave a job. Secondly, people also decide to stay in the workforce based on their feelings as well as their passions. Take musicians and composers as an example, creativity and achievement in their field are more important than money, so money does not matter to them either stay or leave. Overall, I disagree that money is the most important reason to stay in the workforce while there are some factors such as association, passions, and feelings that are also important. *(Could you please give feedback with the band descriptor? Thank you so much!)*

The writer has not provided an originally worded prompt topic restatement. He used a clear cut and paste phrase from the original presentation and also did not work very hard to change several reference points within his essay. It still uses too many elements of the first version to receive a mark that satisfies the originality requirements of the paragraph. His opinion also does not represent the correct emotional or measured response as required by the discussion question. He did respond using an agree or disagree format but he did not provide the degree of response that is required. So he can only get low marks for this semi compliant opinion presentation. His opinion is not properly supported in the discussion paragraphs since he used a comparative discussion and tried to provide reason for the opposing opinion, which ran counter to his provided opinion. As such the essay will be seen as improperly discussed / developed and will lose points due to this incorrect discussion format.

***As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? It is obvious that globalization has been under serious consideration due to the rapid development of communication and transport. Actually, many people claim that globalization may completely eliminate cultural identities. From my perspectives, the viewpoint mentioned is not true to a certain extent as a clarified below. In the first place, I suppose that the viewpoint is not true for some important reasons as follows. To begin with, globalisation encourages interal promotion of traditional cuisine thanks to international travelers and social networks. In fact, there are a variety of Thailand, Vietnamese, French, or Italy all over the world. We now have more chance to taste and even learn how to cook Asian, European, African Food and beverages. For examples, Pho, which is one of Vietnamese traditional dishes, is now widely known and available in all continents. In additions, it popularizes the music industry of one's nation through mass media . It is apparent that Western music dominates virtual listening platforms such as Spotify, Apple, or Youtube. This attracts a great deal of worldwide listeners on a daily basis. Eventually, it is globalisation contributing remarkable improvements to the transportation and communication. By virtue of of fast development of aeroplane as well as advanced technologies, people now have more opportunities to get access to new cultures. That is the they could look back to their culture, eliminate their improper cultural values or reinforce their cultural identities. Also, the cultural values of one's country such as customs or beliefs can be widespread via travellers and the Internet. On the other hand, as far as I'm concerned, the viewpoint is fully convincing in some ways. Obviously, the folk costume is becoming more ignored, fashion trend and affordable prices of clothing have an immense effect on the young generation, leading to dressing same outfits. In addition, the minority languages of several nations tend to disappear gradually as a result of globalisation. Hence, speaking and using same languages are unavoidable. In brief, there are controversial arguments about the issue denoted. Personally, I strongly believe that globalisation would rather greatly develop and maintain cultural identities rather than wipe out their entirety.

It is advisable to avoid statements of fact such as "It is obvious" since there are no such claims made in the original presentation. The examiner is looking for adherence to the original opinion within the topic restatement. These original opinions are often presented as mere generalizations and do not require any attestation in the restatement. Such representations result in altered topic foundations which will merit point deductions. I have to say that the second sentence is quite effective though. It portrays an interesting way of delivering the public concern as stated in the original. However, this strength was weakened by the incomplete writer's opinion presentation. While the establishing phrase is well developed, the lack of direct thesis presentation left the reader wondering about the upcoming discussions. It removed the required clear opinion presentation basis of the writer's opinion. It will also result in score deductions in relation to that paragraph. One of the things that the writer cannot do in this essay is "suppose" about something. That is because the writer is to assume the tone of an authoritative figure in the discussion who is confident of his opinion and its appropriateness to the discussion. Now, since the writer wrote this paragraph as a supporting paragraph for an opinion that does not align with his previously stated point of view, this paragraph has become worthless. The examiner will not consider scoring this paragraph since it does not align with the single opinion discussion requirement for both paragraphs. Another problem is that his support for the opposing side was far better developed and discussed than his own opinion. So maybe the writer made a mistake in his decision to support the aforementioned opinion? Since it is an extent dis/agree essay, the writer should not be afraid to support the opposing side if that is the one he can better defend. It would have better helped his final score. The writer opposed himself in terms of his opinion statement in the conclusion, which will lead to a confusing conclusion for the reader. He will not get a passing score for this essay. He should have stuck to his original partial opinion instead of suddenly changing it to a strong statement for the topic.

## what money brings to us? With the development of technology. Human can approach to many facilities which helps many people can earn money compared to the past. As such, money have been become plays a crucial role in many people's daily life. Human can gain many benefits from money. However, it also has some negative effects too. On the one hand, technological advances have resulted in the increase in workers efficiency and productivity which means they will get higher salary to pay for their family's needs and daily expense such as nutrients, drinks, insurance, taxes,... . Moreover, people can live anywhere, buy anything they want when they have enough money. Besides, money is used to purchase things. Without money, the economy of a country will not be able to develop stably which causes many conflicts. For instance, the United States is one of the country that has the biggest economy in the world. Each year, an American can earn more than 60.000 dollars. This helps many people improving their standard of living. Nevertheless, money also has its drawbacks too. Due to the importance of the money, many people focus too much on earning the money and don't care about their health and their family which is not good for children to learn and follow. Furthermore, it can lead to many family conflicts. Many studies have proven that family with member who is always concentrate on making money are often unhappy and quarrel. To sum up, although there are some drawbacks of the money, we still can't deny the profit money brings to human.

The question to be answered relates to the disadvantages of having money. There is no technological reference in the original discussion that would warrant its constant mention in the writer's discussion essay. Technology as a discussion foundation should not factor in the presentation as it is an unrelated topicthat led to both an inaccurate prompt restatement and altered writer's opinion. Both of which will result in an automatic failing preliminary score. Neither presentations follow the discussion instructions. One of the reasoning paragraphs also targets technology as an advantage topic. He does not explain how technology createsa monetary advantage. The discussion is misfocused and as such, further deviates from the topic. This is a different problem from his last reasoning paragraph that lists disadvantages but does not develop a thorough explanation for there ideas. Based on these discussion problems alone, excluding the other errors in the other scoring areas, it is already clear that this is not a passing essay.

## Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program There has long been a controversial debate over whether school-aged children should be compelled to partake in local volunteer projects without payment. While acknowledging several notable benefits, I still firmly believe that it should be a matter of personal choice. On the one hand, there are two primary reasons why unpaid community services should be a compulsory subject. The key rationale is that doing volunteer allows students to further enhance their interpersonal skills including teamwork, communication or problem-solving abilities which would doubtless be of great necessity during the latter course of their lives. Added to this is invaluable life lessons drawn from practical experience which might cultivate a sense of maturity and responsibility amongst children. As this mandatory subject enables students to approach the disadvantaged and vulnerable in the society as well as get insight into their harsh living conditions, students are likely to develop a multi-dimensional outlook on lives and conduct themselves in a more mature and appropriate manner. Considering the concrete gains of unpaid community services, My belief is that it should be a matter of personal preference. The first and foremost argument is that children deserve to be emancipated from any duty in the aftermath of school hours and get rejuvenated via their favorite recreational activities. The idea behind it is that the academic study coupled with various assessment and continuous exams places an enormous strain on school-aged students. Therefore, there should be no additional mandatory subject that cuts down the amount of leisure time meant for their mental and physical well-being. Another convincing argument is that students should be given freedom to do unpaid community-based work otherwise this compulsory subject might sow a seed of resentment and anger in the fragile minds of children, which in turn brings about counter-productive impacts on them. In short, a considerable improvement on necessary social skills and life lessons could be the desired impacts of unpaid community services, however, I still hold a firm belief that children are entitled to the right to do volunteer at their own disposal.

There are 3 major problems with the restated prompt. The first problem, is that it alters the public opinion idea by using the wrong reference point: long been a controversial debate . There is neither a reference to a controversy, debate, or long term discussion. The topic basis alteration can only result in deductions. The second problem, is that the reference to school-aged children is made in the discussion. This is an incorrect age range reference as the mention in the original relates to teenagers or young adults. School-age children will never be asked to perform community service. Finally, the writer jumped directly opinion basis in the last part. Totally skipping the complete keyword response to the question provided. He should have firmly disagreed before laying out the reason why. The first reasoning paragraph is totally unrelated to his opinion as previously stated. This paragraph should not have been presented since this is a single opinion essay. The writer presented 2 valid supporting opinions in the next paragraph which should have been properly expanded over 2 paragraphs instead. Instead, he will lose points for 2 reasons: 1. The writer gave an unrelated opinion discussion 2. The writer has an under explained related opinion in the essay While the sentence structure and word usage will have limited deductions applied, the main scoring areas will receive score reducing deductions.

***The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? There are arguments about the media empowering too much attention to the celebrities' personal life and they should reduce that by increasing the news of the ordinary people. In my personal point of view, I find myself disagreeable with both above arguments due to the following examples. On the one hand, social journalists often prioritize hot and up-to-date events in the entertaining area which include many related celebrities rather than the famous people's private life. In fact, the media seriously follow the breaking news to get attention from their readers. For example, in sport, the media often focus on reporting a big coming up championship, foreseeing the next winner of a game or how well the strategy of a team is, rather than focusing on the private life of the famous player. In addition, social journalists focus on the stories of successful people in the particular area. These topics often are about their goals and achievements, their admirable lifestyle or their working philosophies which people can learn and can be inspired by. The reporter would rarely ask about the business man's married life or children because it will go off the topic. On the other hand, spending more time reporting on ordinary people whose lives are little known by anyone will cause a fall in reading rate of the news. Trend-setters' news will definitely be more eye-catching than some random people walking down the street. Readers who are mostly youngsters are more accessible with news about the people they have already known such as a character from a movie they like or famous artist which are so familiar on the social platform. As a result, the media take benefits from their readers and subscribers so they need to provide news that most people are interested in. In conclusion, I think the media have a duty to report all the important news which can attract their readers the most.

The writer will not receive a passing score for this essay because he failed to meet the discussion requirements as per the provided guidelines. The essay was to respond in a manner that met the extent response in supporting either an agreement or disagreement with the topic. Instead, the writer chose to oppose both sides of the discussion. That is not a qualified response since it is not part of the provided response selections. As such, the essay will be given a failing task score due to non response format compliance. Due to this preliminary score, the succeeding scoring sections cannot help the essay achieve a passing mark since those also contain errors in presentation. Once the writer responds incorrectly to the discussion question, there is no chance that he will gain a passing score for his reasoning presentation. Next time, pick a side to support, even if these are not in accordance with the writer's actual opinion. That is what the response requires and that is what will receive scoring marks per section.

Criteria for student recruitment of schools is always a difficult issue to set. While some individuals suppose that academic capabilities are the most important factor, a mixture of various capacities are obviously able to evaluate a student much more comprehensively. On the one hand, academic ability can be good criteria for choosing students. Firstly, students, who get a good mark throughout the process of learning, are usually considered to have a high level of intelligent queries which is an essential and popular scale of assessing human potential. Besides, even above fact is not completely accurate, excellent scholastic possibilities maybe demonstrate that students have put much efforts in their studying, which is utterly an important determinant for success in the future. Furthermore, that this way of choosing student has been implemented for so long proves the valid value of this method. Clearly, using academic abilities is a rational and irreplaceable method, but it is not enough for marking students on the whole. On the other hand, students have to be assessed by some other scales. To be more specific, each student has their own strengths and weakness, therefore, academic abilities are not the only scale to assess students. For example, some students can have some special skills or talents like singing, drawing and so forth, which no particular scale can evaluate. Besides, having students of different abilities studying together creates opportunity for them to learn from each other and mutually collaborate to make something special in the future. Obviously, the importance is that schools should have an appropriate portfolio of students, which need to ensure the development of both students' education and general schools quality. In conclusion, both of these two perspectives are reasonable. Even though, integrated assessment method is basically necessary application for schools to choose students effectively.

There are 3 opinions that should be present in this discussion since it is a comparative discussion with personal opinion essay. The 2 public opinions must be discussed in relation to the personal opinion of the writer for each perspective. There must be a supported and unsupported opinion found within the reasoning paragraphs. The lack of perspective clarity in relation to the comparison discussion is missing throughout these presentations. More importantly, the prompt restatement + personal opinion was inaccurately reformatted for this opinion discussion. The original prompt was asking the writer to consider the division of students based on skills and learning abilities or mixed learning capacities. That was not accurately reworded in this presentation. The discussion was in regards to how to spread out the students within a classroom setting based on academic abilities, or not. The restatement was only partly correct in its references. As such, the essay falls short of the passing requirements for this type of task. While the perspectives discussed are valid, the presentation loses the coherence and cohesiveness required for the presentation since general opinions, rather than comparative public and personal opinions, were presented. The idea representation is unclear to the reader so the essay can only be scored based on partial accuracy and under developed reasoning paragraphs.

## Aquarium, Castle, Zoo, and Festival visitors The line graph illustrates the proportion of visitors to Scotland who visited four distinct attractions in Edinburgh, including the Aquarium, Castle, Zoo, and Festival, from 1980 to 2010. In general, it is clear that the figures for tourists to the castle and zoo increased, while the number of visitors to the festival and aquarium decreased. However, the castle had a higher percentage of visitors than the other locations. Between 1980 and 1995, the proportion of visitors to the Castle significant rose from 25% to 45%, while this figure fell at the festival by around 5%. After that, there was a gradual decline in the percentage of travelers to the Castle by about 15% from 1995 to 2010. However, the figures for tourists to the festival gradually increased from 25% to 28% during the period shown. On the other hand, the percentage of tourists to the zoo fluctuated from around 10% to 15% between 1980 and 2000, then it significantly increased and peaked at 20% in 2010. In 1980, the figures for visitors to the aquarium were only 20%. After five years, the proportion of travelers to the Aquarium rose by 15% before it reached below 10%.

The summary overview should have been divided into 2 sentences + the trending statement. The 2 sentences should have represented the image title and the information presentation. The outline of the 4 sections should have been a separate sentence reference. Since there are no other attractions indicated in the image, the writer should not have indicated "including" because there were no other areas to consider coming from the image. The trending reference needed only the first 2 sentences, the third indicator was not really necessary since it did not support the high and low information requirement for the presentation. It only represented one aspect of one section and could have been better used in the analytical paragraphs. It is not appropriate to say "On the other hand" when one did not previously refer to "on the one hand". The reference of these phrases being comparative in nature. The references balance out the paragraphs in terms of clarity and cohesiveness. When not used as a pair, the writer does not create an effective connection between paragraphs.

**The table below shows the questionnaire about the opinions of club members and the general public for the new theater in one town in 2012.** The table illustrates the opinion survey of three evaluation criteria about three factors/ in terms of amenities, information and quality from club participants and society to the newly-built theater in the year 2012. Overall, it can be observed that the majority of both parties showed their deep contentment with the three surveyed elements while there was a relatively small proportion of people who were pleased and unsatisfactory. According to amenities, the marvelous rate of quality from club joiners was the most outstanding, at 72%, compared to general citizens at 64% and both accounted for more than half a percent. In comparison, the neutral comments made up 26% from the club, which was 2% more than the community. The figure for grading facilities was substandard came from club membership was the lowest at just 2%, as opposed to society in which quadrupled. Regarding information, the highest number of positive comments was from dwellers at 66%, followed by the club which was responsible for 54%. The satisfaction level of residents and club members was 30% and 20% respectively, which was 10% apart. In addition, it was witnessed a 2% difference between the 2 factors of bad comments. Looking at the final criteria in the 2012 survey, club attendees who assessed the quality above all excellent at 88% which was the most significant amount compared to other factors, whilst, locality view at 53%. The quantity of pleasure from the public at 40% was four times more than the club. Meanwhile, it can be seen that bad reviews from two groups of people, including the club and general respectively at 2% and 7%. * *Task 1*

The writer did not perform a proper analysis of the table provided. the representation of the image should have indicated, within 3 different sentences, that the table was divided into 3 parts representative of (indicate the division within the table). The writer was in such a rush to list the information in the summary that she sacrificed the clarity of the sentence presentations, the cohesiveness of the paragraph, and the coherence of the sentences relationships. It is not the kind of summary that would receive a passing consideration. The trending paragraph also suffers from the clarity problem. Kindly remember that scores are reduced for sentences that cover multiple ideas since these are considered run-on sentences that do not deliver clear analytical thoughts to the reader. One sentence per idea. That is the correct way to approach these paragraph presentations. Avoid the use of flowery words or exaggerated representations in a task 1 essay. This is an academic or professional report that is meant to be read by a targeted audience. The only professional and academic words to be found here should be in relation to the data presentation, based on the professional or academic exposure of the reader. So the use of words such as "marvelous" and "most outstanding" should be avoided.

## The table below shows the television viewing figures for sports by country, in millions. ***Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant*** The table shows the television channels viewing figures for sports in some countries. Those are the number of viewers in some sports in four countries. In general, there are many differences depend on each country. A lot of American people enjoy watching sports. Tennis is the most common sports in four sports in the table within 25,9 million people, each country has 6 to 7 million viewers. Motor racing is less common than other sports, as in the USA and Canada, there has only 1,5 and 1,1 million people watching, while it is the popular sport in the UK and Australia. Athletics is still the common sport in the UK and the USA. Most American people like watching golf with 11,2 million people, more than total of those in any other countries. *

Writing less than 150 words will result in an automatic failing score. This will be the final result of the word count deductions applied to the task. No amount of additional scoring later on will change that outcome because the essay does not meet the passing considerations of : - 3 paragraph presentations - Analytical reporting - Proper division of information presentation The essay is missing: - A proper summary overview - A trending statement The current summary is confusing to read. It does not correctly inform the reader in a quick format regarding the pertinent data in relation to: - countries listed - sports considered - results assessment As such the summary overview is the most problematic paragraph in this presentation. The writer also presents just 1 analytical paragraph where 2 are required. The analysis paragraphs should be representative of: 2 countries + 2 sports = Total assessment. Each grouping composes one paragraph.

***Some people believe that the government should not spend money on international aid when they have their own disadvantaged people, like the homeless and unemployed.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? In recent decades, it goes without saying that the ubiquity of needy people has become a topic of public interest. It is argued that some people propose not to misspend the state budget for overseas deprived people due to having the nation's underprivileged inhabitants. While there is some truth to this testament, I still gravitate towards the government coffers not only for natives but also abroad. On the one hand, there are many compelling reasons why some advocate not diverting allowance to foreign aid. It is evident that some leaders place too much attention on outsiders, they tend to disregard their own impoverished ordinary people. Therefore, some residents, especially vagabonds and job seekers, do not want to lose their financial benefits and colossal grant to cosmopolitan funding organizations. Another justification is that it may be ineffective because they will not even witness whether this funding investment can speedily reach the poor's hands. It is due to the fact that some greedy people will want to profit from that money and make it their own in order to use it for personal or illegal purposes. On the other hand, notwithstanding the aforementioned drawbacks of allotting the authority's money to worldwide assistance, I am convinced that the advantageous effects of this issue infinitely overshadow its disadvantages. Obviously, I would contend that the enthusiastic and generous support from an insignificant developing country, for example, Vietnam, will act as a precursor to international friendship and solidarity. In addition, our country will also acquire a reputation via a series of articles including on other countries' social media or daily news in order to raise the position to a new level. Another vindication is that this assistance will be conducive to strengthening national political security which plays an integral part in the career of maintaining long-term independence. For instance, great nations in terms of weapons, economics, science and technology such as America or Russia will come to our aid if a conflict breaks out. In conclusion, while the proponents of not spending the administration's budget on worldwide support, I am convinced that we should take a broader and more open view of this.

There is no reference to a timeline within the original presentation. Therefore, including a timeline mention in the rewrite has caused an information inaccuracy for the presentation. The examiner is looking for an accurate representation of the original topic. That means all flowery sentences and exaggerations, including additional references must be avoided since these will be seen as writer introduced changes to the first version. While the writer's opinion has a good basis, it fails to directly address the question provided. Therefore, the writer only has a thesis statement, but no opinion response. For this part of the paragraph, the writer should make sure to offer a response that will first offer the expected format and second, establish the supporting discussion reasons. When she does not do this, the writer's response does not meet the full scoring needs of the paragraph. Regardless of the response format requirement, the one thing that does not change in an agree or disagree essay is the single opinion defense requirement. That means, the writer should focus on solidly explaining and convincing the examiner that his line of reasoning cannot be beaten. This is done by providing reasons that oppose his opinion, but then prove to have flaws when he discusses it, thus strenghtening his own point of view. The other method of discussion, is to simply used 2 strong reasons that will explain the validity of the writer's belief. In this essay, the writer's belief was over presented in the second paragraph and yet, remained under discussed and developed due to the lack of a properly expanded discussion. Had she opted to not try to defend both sides of the discussion, she would have achieved the correct full response format for the task in the restatement, opinion, and reasoning paragraphs. All essays are single opinion in discussion unless it is an advantage v. disadvantage or benefits outweigh drawbacks discussion, in which case the discussion is generally comparative, without a writer's personal opinion statement. Based on these considerations, it is clear that the writer has not met the passing requirements for the presentation. Even though the discussion is clear to the reader, his failure to address the discussion as required are what affected the points considerations.

## edible insects - pros and cons In this day and age, overpopulation is an urging issue resulting in huge demand for food all over the world. Considering an alternative source for consuming namely edible insects is still controversy with several opinion on its advantages and disadvantages. In terms of its good side, insects like grasshoppers or bugs are rich in nutrient offerring eater enough energy through a day. In comparision with other kind of meat, they brings approximately the same amount of nutrient even if they are smaller. Additionally, there is sizeable population of those species in nature to take advantage of. Indeed, insects are seem to be effectively reproduced and highly surviving species. Regrading to its bad part, eating some of the unsafe insects is likely to cause health problems such as food poisoning, stomachache, or diarrhea. Indeed, assessing and reassuring the safety and quality of an insect are a complicate process which needs experience and knowledge. With a little error, eater can suffer mentioned symtoms raging from mild to severe ones. Moreover, utilizing insects for different purposes appears to draw an effect to biological balance in nature. For instance, some friendly insects playing an crucial role in growing of plants should not be havested in a large scale for food industry. In conclusion, consuming inserts brings some above benefits but at the same time has certain drawbacks.

The essay is definitely too short to receive a passing mark since deductions will apply for writing only 223 / 250 words. This is actually an automatic faling score essay because of the lack of word count but minimal scores will still be awarded for the other scoring considerations. These scores will not just be passing ones since the writer did not meet the minimum writing standard for the task. While the topic may be considered a controversy, it would be best to avoid making such exaggerated references in these types of discussions since the writer is expected to restate a direct opinion alone. A direct representation avoids the pitfalls of overexplaining the tast in the restatement. Another problem with this paragraph is the lack of direct response to the discussion instructions. The writer is always expected to respond with applicable topic sentences to the questions or writing instructions. Scores are lost when all the writer presents is a repetition of the discussion instruction. Doing so indicates that the writer is not capable of presenting a summarized topic form as required for the task. As a word reference, "regrading" was misused in this presentation. The writer should look up the meaning of the word. It does not mean what he tried to make it infer in his sentence. This will negatively affect his word usage and grammar scores. Never use a word if one is not sure of the meaning. The writer will not lose points for using simple English words that properly apply to his work, but he will lose scoring advantages if he does not properly use words in the presentation. Concluding paragraphs should be composed of at least 40 words. Use 2 sentences at the least in this section since it should present a summarized form of the previous discussion. Points cannot be provided for paragraphs that do not meet the requirements of the essay.

## Technology is affecting family relationships in many ways In this day and age, the development of technology is believed to have numerous consequences on the interaction of family members. This development has both pros and cons, whereas the drawbacks far outweigh the benefits. To begin with, there are probably a couple of reasons why technology benefits family relationships. Firstly, family members can easily contact others whenever they are far away from each other. Almost everyone, even children and the elderly people, have their own phones with various applications installed so they can call or text other members effortlessly. For example, a student goes to the university far away from his town, when he misses his parents he can have a video call with them by using social media on his phone. Secondly, people can use technology as a tool for retaining some remarkable memories. As aforementioned, everyone has their own mobile phones so it is possible to take pictures, videos. These memorable images can be shared with family members, this is a good way for a family to bond together. Thus, technology has improved relationships in some ways. On the contrary, disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. Firstly, due to technology, face-to-face conservation seems to be less effective among the members in a family. Due to the Internet, people can make many new friends online; however, they spend so much time on social media that they don't have time for relatives. Secondly, there are some differences between the young and the elderly's favorable trends. Young people often care about funny things shared on Tik Tok, etc... while the elderly people are attracted to something more different. For example, young people love to post the memes on instagram, twitter... but our grandparents are more likely to read more online news. Because of these contrast favors, the young and the old don't usually have some common topic to share with each other. Last but not least, technology is way more common with young people; therefore the young can fastly learn some bad trends that affect their regular behavior. Adults may not appreciate these kinds of attitudes, this leads to depreciated behavior and even arguments between parents and their children. To sum up, the evolution of technology has brought us some good effects on our relationships; however, there is no doubt that it also badly affects human's interaction.

The writer should refrain from presenting a personal opinion within an advantage or disadvantage prompt presentation. That is because the writer is not being asked to support one side of the discussion. This is a general discussion type that only requires the writer's interpretation of each side of the discussion. He must be unbiased in his discussion. It must be pointed out however that the writer neither presented correct prompt restatement or writer's opinion. He cannot change the discussion from advantage and disadvantage to pros and cons or benefits or drawbacks. These are separate prompt discussion types that are required for specific essay types. He cannot mix the prompt instructions into a single presentation. His presentation should specifically present one advantage and one disadvantage topic to produce a discussion outline for the examiner. The word "probably" can never factor into a task 2 discussion. The writer must come across as knowledgeable and authoritative of the topic presented as these uncertain references weaken the cohesiveness of his discussion. His second paragraph is a clear depiction of a biased writer's opinion, which runs counter to the original discussion instruction.It is because of these continued discussion alterations that the essay cannot pass the test. The writer proves to be unable to follow the correct response format for the essay due to his confusion regarding the actual prompt discussion requirement.

Will it obtain a passing score? ***Government should spend money on education rather than on infrastructure.*** ## Do you agree or disagree? Some people claim that a country should expend money on academic purposes instead of building massive amenity constructions. I completely agree with the given statement that government should priorities schooling for the development of human beings. In this essay, I will pustulate my opinion with some relevant examples and supporting ideas. To commence with, studying has made a man perfect in every aspect of life. A person will have a prosperous life if he/she achieves a high level of degree. In addition, people give respect to those who are professionally trained in their selected fields. For instance, Einstein is admired all over the world for his scientific researches and inventions over many billionaires of the globe. Furthermore, education gives a well-known personality and wealthy life to individuals seeking for it. Moreover, the current available facilities and technologies, that we use in our daily life, are the product of high-level knowledge. It is a proven fact that knowledge is the base of a country's development in every part of governance; as well as, the countries, which standardized their educational system, are known as the powerful nations in the planet earth. To cite an example, Japan had focused mainly on their youngsters' studies before becoming a well-developed nation. Hence, nations are ranked regarding their academic achievements. To conclude, knowledge is the chief element for the improvement of a country which gives their countrymen the facilities and convenience they need in their life span rather than constructing the infrastructure which will be a temporary welfare. Word count : 253

The writer has improper knowledge of English words. The use of incorrect vocabulary throughout the essay will result in a low to failing LR score. The following are the improperly used words in the essay with the corresponding meaning that should explain why the score will have to be failing in that section: amenity - an agreeable way or manner; courtesy; civility:any feature that provides comfort, convenience, or pleasure pustulate - to cause to form pustules; covered with **pustules** - a small elevation of the skin containing pus. These are college level words that were used to the detriment of the LR score. The writer is using English words without knowing the meaning behind them, resulting in confusing and unrelated sentence ideas / formations. This will definitely negatively affect both the LR and GRA scores. As far as the discussion goes, the writer explains the benefits of spending on education but he does not explain why money should not be spent on infrastructure. The supporting paragraphs should explain why infrastructure spending should be lessened in favor of spending more on education. Stick to the 2 discussion topics provided in the original prompt. Do not alter the discussion focus by creating incorrect personal opinion statements. Use the compare and contrast format for writing this type of essay. Prove why the mejority opinion is not the one that the public should support.

## Consumption of energy in the USA The graph below gives information from 1 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. My posts: The infographic illustrates the USA from 1980 to 2030 in terms of the proportion of energy production. From a general respective, there was an increase in the number of energy consumption namely Petrol and Oil, Coal, Natural Gas, Nuclear, Solar/Wind, but the opposite was true for the figure for Hydropower.Petrol and Oil was by far the most popular energy usage however hydropower generated the least amount of energy in the USA ( I just write overview and introduction ) *

While inforgraphic is a post college level word, it does not accomplish the task requirement in this instance as a specific reference to the image is required. The writer could have still used the term, but included the type of infographic to meet the information requirements of the paragraph. The summary overview is too short to be considered a complete summary. It must contain at least 2 or 3 sentences to offer a true rundown of the provided information. Choose the highlights and work those into a complete paragraph presentation. The trending statement will lower the GRA score for the essay since it was not properly divided into individual sentences. The representative individual sentences will comprise the complete trending paragraph. A run-on sentence such as the one presented is not going to be given a passing score as it does not meet sentence formation requirements in the English language. It lacks thought clarity and proper idea presentation. All paragraphs for the task 1 essay should have a minimum of 3 sentences, no more than 5. There is also a missing full stop / period at the end of the second paragraph.

***Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. In some current years, human has more negative healthy issues and it is argued that increasing the number of sport centres is the most effective mehthod for improving public healthy. In my opinion, however, I totally disagree with this statement. On the one hand, there are some reasons makes people believe that taking part in sports clubs is the best way to enhance their health. It is clear that exercise is a measure which positive impact on human's body. Therefore, increasing the popularity of sports aminities gives people have more chances to improve their health. For example, yoga is more popular physical activity for young people and middle-aged women to stay healthy and keep fit. On the other hand, I would argue that there are many necessary elements to improve public health without sports aminities. It can be seen that, dominant people who paid for annual gym membership falied finishing whole coures. I think it is most cruital that people need to enhance their awareness about potential health problem. Therefore healthy campaigns are particulary essential because it is easiest method to spread knowledge to human. Futhermore, food products which people eat on daily basis aslo unless important. To have good heath, people need to eat foodsuff which supplies their body sufficient nutrients and vitamin. In conclusion, the growing prevalence of sports facilities has brought a wide range of health benefits for people; yet, I personally believe that raising public awareness through health campaigns would have a more positive impact on improving people's health.

The main reason that this essay will receive an overall failing score has to do with the lack of proper sentence structuring and word usage in the paragraphs. The writer seemingly writes in broken English, a method that is used by English as a second language learners who are at the beginner level of English learning. It must be said that the writer has the right understanding of the the discussion requirement but his lack of proper English thought process proved to be the problem with his presentation. The grammar is not very good because it is hindered by misspelled words, incorrect word usage, and incoherent sentences. Unless these problems are addressed in the next essay, the writer will not be able to improve his score beyond a failing score. My advice to the student is to focus on his grammar improvement overall before proceeding to write more task 1 or task 1 essays. Practice sentence formation using simple English words for now. If possible, use fill in the blank word choice exercises for sentence completion to help address this weakness in the writer's sentence formation ability. Once these sections improve, the other problems in relation to essay discussion presentations may be addressed. Focus on the basic grammar issues for now. Those are the severe problems at this time.

*Hi, I'm learning to write ielts task 2 essay, thanks for your assessment in advance. Would you mind focusing on assessing my word choice, task achievement, grammar, coherence and cohesion?* **TOPIC: ## Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. *What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?*** These days, people tend to work with intensity as they aspire to a successful career. However, apart from work, life includes other aspects, so it can be very challenging for one to strive for a balance between professional and personal life. This essay aims to examine the two major issues that often stem from this social dysfunction and offer the most plausible solution. It goes without saying/ It is apparent that these issues are health concerns and breakdown of family relations/ Lack of strong family bonds), which are linked to an excessive workload. Firstly, taking too many responsibilities of a job that are higher than one's available time and ability can lead to lack of rest affecting negatively mental and physical wellness. For example, workers who are often inundated with office duties may not get enough sleep and are more likely at risk of/ are at a higher risk of depression and cardiovascular diseases. Secondly, when individuals opt to spend most of the day in the workplace, they might hardly see their loved ones. Consequently, a poor interaction with family members would occur, facilitating weakening the ties. Parents that overcommit to work are a good case in point. Being absent from home regularly, they would rarely communicate with their offspring and two sides would not be close and understand each other as well. Nevertheless, this scenario could be treated/ remedied/ mitigated/tackled by arranging a realistic timetable comprising activities in both personal and professional life. In other words, people should note down things that need to be done in order of priority and then limit time to complete each one, so that they can allocate their resources accordingly. This could not only help a person stay satisfied at work, but also have time to relax, recharge the batteries and strengthen the relationships at home. For example, employees can use applications to make a to-do list and set time for it. Because if they are put under pressure to finish a task in a certain amount of time, they will likely focus on truly important things and work more efficiently, thus, would reach targets in the company on the dot easier and get back to home earlier. In conclusion, although there are many problems related to balancing different plates of work, family and other things, it can still be achievable by designing a suitable schedule. For editing, content, and formatting needs please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com. Thank you! EF

The lack of a direct response to the 2 questions provided resulted in the lack of a clear writer's opinion presentation in this task. There is no thesis statement upon which the examiner will be able to judge how applicable and relevant the succeeding discussion paragraphs will be in relation to the given prompt. Since the first paragraph is used to assess the writer's ability to respond to given questions quickly and coherently, as he would in a classroom discussion setting, being unable to do so in the written form, where he has more time to think about his response to the questions, is not a good sign for the exam taker. The examiner will not award points for merely repeating the discussion instructions.

***Environmental protection is the responsibility of governments, not individuals as individuals can do too little.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Problems relating to the environment have nearly never ceased to cause deep concerns to humans. Some take the view that the leaders of a country should hold accountable for the environmental protection as this practice is regarded as an onerous mission for individuals to take on. Analyzing the ability of individuals to recycle old things and reduce the amount of carbon emission by using public transport will illustrate the idea that individuals are capable of protecting the environment, not just the governments. Firstly, individuals could recycle the used materials to preserve the environment surrounding them. For example, Go Green, one of the leading environmental organizations established by environment-conscious Vietnamese members, has succeeded in invigorating millions of Vietnamese to recycle the receptacles after using them. As an individual organization could have the capability to raise people's awareness of the environment, the prospect of other individuals could have a similar impact on the whole society is probably no longer far-fetched. Thus, it is clear that not only the governments but also individuals could exert a huge positive impact on environmental improvement. Secondly, the upsurge in using public transport by individuals has the tremendous effect to put a damper on carbon emissions, which are the precursor to the degraded environment. A 2021 research carried out by the Vietnamese environment Institute shows the CO2 level in metropolises in the Northern part of Vietnam plunged as a result of changes in the commute habit of people. An inordinate number of people have utilized public transit as their main means of getting around instead of using personal vehicles such as motorbikes or cars. This example illustrates the idea that every individual can be a force of change to enhance environmental quality. Hence, it should be reassured that governments are not the sole force that has enough capacity to deal with complex environmental issues. In conclusion, I strongly agree that besides the governments, individuals have a crucial role in environmental preservation by taking simple actions such as reusing old materials and taking the advantage of public transit. Therefore, the public should join hands with the governments to uphold the quality of the environment we inhabit.

The essay will immediately receive a failing score in the preliminary TA assessment because it does not repost in the correct format. The expected response delivery was instead placed in the conclusion. That emotional response must be presented twice in the same essay. The first in the restatement, the second in the reverse paraphrase of the concluding summary. Although the writer wrote more than the necessary word count, his lack of attention to response detail is what proved to be detrimental to his final score. His first paragraph provided a prompt discussion deviation, which cannot be overlooked by the examiner. It does not create the proper foundation for the succeeding discussion paragraphs and therefore, made the overall essay non-passing in the final assessment.

## percentage of car trips by purpose and gender of drivers Task 1: The bar chart compares the proportion of car trips made by male and female drivers for 8 purposes in the year of 2005. Overall, the initial impression is that commuting to work was the most common reason for car travel for both men and women. It is also evident that visiting town, bank, running errands, visiting friends and recreation are the categories that witnessed the biggest difference between the percentage of males and females doing these activities. In 2005, about 53% of males used their cars to drive to work, which was considerably higher than that of females, at about 37%. By contrast, there were slightly more women used cars for shopping than men, 17% compared to 10%. Similarly, the percentages of men and women driving to courses were fairly similar, at 8% and 12% respectively. The differences between the proportion of male and female drivers could be seen when we compare the remaining categories. The percentages of women driving to bank, running errands and to visit friends were 8%, 10%,7% respectively, which were strikingly higher than those for men, at approximately 4%. On the contrary, while cars were used by roughly 12% and 8% of men for recreation and town visits respectively, fewer women favoured driving for these purposes, at nearly 3% for both activities. *

The trending statement is over extended. A trend is a singular measurement of one activity or action. As such, it is used only to establish the platform of the report. The writer has mistakenly began the actual report in the overview+trend section with the inclusion of a second observation that should have better served the essay by being included in the reporting paragraphs instead. The summary overview should cover at least 2 sentences. That way the highlights of the information are properly introduced and become more useful in the establishing paragraph. Rather than creating a 2nd trend, the writer should find another creative way of enumerating the listed information instead. A task 1 essay needs to be written without bias. Therefore, no pronouns of any sort, not first,second, or third person, should be used in any part of the reporting paragraphs. Only general statements must be made as the objective is to inform rather than influence the reader. Pronouns must be used in the Task 2 essay, rather than the task 1 presentation.

***In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? In the modern life, many countries have reported a large number of people contracting diseases relating to eating too much fast food. This problem leads to controversial opinions whether taxes be imposed on this kind of food or not. Personally, I partially agree with this point of views. On the one hand, taxing unhealthy food brings several benefits to the health of the citizens. If the price of junk food increase dramatically, people will be deterred from consuming it and will instead prepare food at home or have other healthier choices . Moreover, the expenditure on this kind of food can be later used by government and local councils to allocate funds to the maintenance of fitness facilities as well as the construction of the new ones. In other words, imposing taxes on unhealthy food will cultivate a life - time habit of refraining from junk food and people will also become more interested in engaging in physical activities because of invested health infrastructure. On the other hand, eating junk food is not the only cause leading to healthy problems. Firstly, many people are in habit of practicing sedetary lifestyle and rarely do exercises. In addition, the knowledge related to food and nutrition is blissfully ignored by a considerable number of people. As a result, these people run a high risk of contracting serious diseases and obessity. Futhermore, the pressure of the modern life also discourage people from leading a healthy lifestyle as they tend to choose unhealthy food for the sake of time - saving due to the overloaded amount of work and lack of time to take care of themselves. Besides, if the government impose a higher taxation schemes on junk food, there will be a decline in the middle and lower income families' consumption of this type of food, while the affluent consumers are not significantly affected. This means that the tax schemes are only effective with specific groups of people. In conclusion, while imposing taxes can bring some obvious advantages to our health, I believe that there are also some factors that contribute to health problems as well as this action can cause a problem related to the socal classes.

The first paragraph includes a reference to a total, not partial, prompt topic restatement. That means that the writer cannot use any part of the original prompt in his version. The retelling must be an original thought that does not contain any cut and paste references to the original words used. Doing so will result in a lower topic restatement score because the examiner will believe that the writer cannot compose an original paragraph and can only cut and paste words from the original to complete his version. There is also an incorrect reference to "controversial opinions". There is no such exaggerated reference in the original. This will mark down the original opinion restatement because of the deviation from the simple idea statement. Do not over do the emotional state of any opinion unless it is indicated in the original reference. The writer's opinion is incomplete as it does not include a reference to the summary discussion ideas that will support his opinion. This must be stated to help clarify the basis of the writer's opinion in the short form presentation. The overall writing will be scored based on a partially developed explanation. That is because the writer failed to solidly defend his opinion using a single point of view defense. This was never supposed to be discussed as a comparative essay. There was no reference to "discuss both views" or "Do the advantages outweigh..." which are the only prompts that use the comparative method of reasoning. The essay may not receive a passing score due to these mistakes in writing approach. This will be the result even as his supporting opinion paragraph is believable enough and tries its best to convince the reader of its correctness.

## pupils issues ANALYSIS The chart illustrates the proportion of pupils who confront different types of education issues in two primary schools between 2005 and 2015. Overall, it is clear that school A had higher proportions of children experiencing education problems than school B in both years. However, school A managed to reduce the number of students with those difficulties, school B saw an increase in the percentage of pupils who were struggling. In 2005, 42% of children in school A found it difficult to follow instructions, whereas only 6% of pupils in school B experienced this problem. Besides, between 30% and 40% of students struggled with spelling, listening skills, verbal expression, and concentration in lessons in school A, while the equivalent figure for school B was between 5 and 15%. In 2015, the number of students in school A facing the following instructions problem decreased significantly to 18%, and this school also saw a rapid diminish in spelling, listening skills, verbal expression, and concentration in lessons by 5%, 15%, 14%, and 24% respectively. By contrast, in school B, the percentage of pupils confronted with spelling, and following instructions issues doubled, to 10% and 12% correspondently, and there was almost no change in the incidence of listening skills, verbal expression, or concentration difficulties. i've just been starting to write for 2 months, hope you could give me a feedback of this one. thanks a lot.

It is pretty obvious that the first time writer grasps the idea behind the task 1 essay and its requirements. He has done an acceptable job creating a summary overview, but could use some guidance towards completing the scoring requirements. He can get started with a more accurate image identifier. When creating the summary overview, focus on generating a mental picture of the image/s. Mention: 1. How many images there are 2. The specific image type rather than the general term 3. The measurement used in reference to data indicators Doing so will remove the need to refer the reader to the image. This must be done because the reader is always assumed to not have a copy of the image on hand so such references are frowned upon in the presentation. There are also word usage issues in relation to LR and GRA considerations. The word "between" was improperly used in the sentence because there are no estimates provided in the image. Only specific measurements. The word "between" indicates that the author is estimating the actual measurement, which is never the case in percentage based information. There is also no such phrase as "rapid dimish". The correct phrase formation is "rapidly diminishing" to indicate a past but active action reference on the part of information sharing. Neither is it right to say "By contrast" as the correct phrase is "In contrast". Based on this essay, it will be safe for me to say that the writer shows the potential to achieve a higher than average score with his task 1 test. He just needs to address the problems above to further improve his scoring range in those specific areas. He should continue to develop his sentence writing skills as well to further strengthen his explanation paragraphs.

## People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life In today's world, urban life has been associated with many persistent issues that lead to city dwellers having to experience various concerns in their day to day activities. In this essay, I will discuss the causes and solutions for this situation. At present time, the huge number of people settling in metropolises face two main problems, one of which is traffic jams when commuting. Indeed, many mega-cities suffer from overcrowding due to the amount of transports in operation that overloads the current infrastructure. For instance in Hanoi, despite having about five million inhabitants, many roads are not big enough for one who is moving, especially in rush hours. As a result, people often have to refrain from traffic congestions. Moreover, the contaminated environment also is a factor that worsened the quality of life in mega-cities. Emissions from transports, garbage and even light make the environment in cities worse than ever. Therefore, despite being approached with many modern technologies, dwellers in metropolises have to face the risk of getting sick from environmental pollution. To combat those challenges, governments should consider strategies to modify that situation. To begin with, extending the roads and improving the quality of public transports will partly decrease traffic congestion when the number of vehicles is reduced. On the other hand, this solution has to take a long time to materialise, spending huge funds from taxes and few people want to take a bus instead of using their own vehicles. In conclusion, people who live in big cities have to face several problems that influence their daily life. In my opinion, governments around the world should discuss and modify the issues in many metropolises.

The opening statement is not acceptable as a prompt representation. While it did an ok job of presenting the discussion foundation, it did not provide direct responses to the 2 questions that are the basis of the reasoning discussion. It does not establish the correct topic + question responses that are required to meet the task accuracy and writer's opinion scoring considerations. It will receive a failing mark due to these missing criteria. When indicating that there are 2 main problems, these problems must be presented in the anchor topic sentence and explained via transitionary sentences within the same paragraph. The writer incompletely lists the problems and fails to transition the 2 topics properly in the same paragraph. This resulted in a less than cohesive paragraph presentation for which deductions will be applied. The discussion paragraphs are basically disconnected in presentation when the question requirements are fully considered. Additional problems arose in the second reasoning paragraph where only the problem of commuting received a solution but not the problem of Health hazards. To avoid these score lowering ommissions, it is important that the writer learn how to discuss this in the proper manner that is, for every paragraph, he must use: Problem + Solution for the paragraph presentation. By presenting a problem and the corresponding solution, he will not forget to discuss any related topic. It will also help create a far more cohesive and coherent discussion presentation worthy of a higher scoring C+C mark.

## What kids enjoyed doing the most in 2007? **Topic: The graph below shows information about the activities that Australian and New Zealand children enjoy doing the most in 2007.** As we can see the bar chart delineates the data about the favourite recreational pursuits of children in two nation, namely Australians and New Zealanders in 2007. Overall, the Austrailian youths were keen on outdoor activites. In contrast, New Zealanders were more interested in indoors. For the Australians youths, sports was the most popular activities which accounted for about 20% of Austrilians. Followed after was the the proportions of children who was enjoy visited the park with a quarter of Australians. Next, 3 out of 20 Australians were keen on playing computer games and watching DVDs. Finally, the lowest percentages of children who were enthused in reading and art and crafts, which accounted for 10% and 7% respectively. Turn to the New Zealanders, children tended to enjoy art and craft, which accounted for 25 % of them. Followed after were children who liked to read books and watching, which each accounted for about 17% and then was children who liked to play games on computer with approximately 15%. Finally, the lowest proportion of children enjoyed outdoor activities which accounted for more than 10%. hi, i currently try to learn ielts writing. Can you help me check my writing pls. you a lot <3

A lack of familiarity with sentence formation, grammar rules, and word usage are the most observable problems that the writer has with this presentation. While he shows that he understands the requirements of the task, he does not know how to properly execute the discussion. This unfamiliarity has led to the score reducing problems of this presentation. While the summary overview is along the correct line, he made a reference to having the reader look at the image, a reader instruction that should never be indicated as the assumption for this task is that the reader does not have a copy of the image and as such, cannot be asked to refer to the image for any reaosn. The report must be a direct representation of the data instead. There is also a lack of proper measurement identification within the summary or trending statement that left the short form of important information incomplete for the reader. With regards to word usage and reference, the writer needs to tell the difference between the country and the citizens of the country. He incorrectly referred to the citizens of the country in the summary where the countries should have been indicated. This caused an error in sentence formation which will lead to further deductions. The reader will definitely be confused by the assorted measurement referencing in the reporting paragraphs. The writer must used the image data as presented. So if it was presented in percentages, he must present the same uniformly to avoid confusing the reader as the assorted measurement references reduces the clarity and understandability of the analysis.

## issues pertaining to a city life **People living in big cities face problems; governments should encourage people to move to small towns. What are these problems? Do you agree the government should encourage people to move to small towns?** There is a suggestion that there are more incentives from the authority for people to migrate and settle down in less crowded towns due to the number of problems people face living in metropolises. In my opinion, the two central problems that city dweller encounter is poor air quality and inadequate housing and I totally agree that any governmental encouragement can contribute to mitigate these current problems. The perennial problem in big cities all over the world is bad air quality. Due to the high volume of traffic, the exhaust fumes released are enormous. For example, most people in Vietnam favour private vehicles over mass transit basically because of their flexibility. This takes a toll on the air people breathe every day and as a consequence, residents, especially those from the youth and elderly population suffer severe respiratory conditions like lung cancer. The second pressing matter is the dearth of housing areas. More and more people move to bigger cities in the search for career prospects and better living standards, inevitably leading to increasing demand for dwellings. The implications of which are skyrocketing prices of properties and those who can not afford will be pushed to run-down places, resulting in the formation of slums. For example, a square meter of land in big cities in Vietnam can inflict cost 30 times larger than that of rural areas and many young people end up living in dilapidated buildings if they want to anchor to the city. If people are motivated by the government to move to less popular towns, I believe pronounced changes are expected. Firstly, the reduction of traffic volume means a fall in the amount of toxic gases poisoning the air. This will leads to the situation in which everyone enjoys a better atmosphere. Secondly, if more people relocate to the smaller towns, the drain on city dwellers' mind concerning the property will be eliminated as there is more space now and the price will go down. There will be no concern about where to find a decent place without an astronomical price tag. In conclusion, air pollution and housing shortage are the main issues pertaining to a city life and I completely agree that government should stimulate more people's migration to less crowded cities.

The topic restatement is highly confusing. If it is a suggestion, then why did is suddenly turn into a statement of fact in the middle of the sentence? A suggestion for a plan of action is not the same as a plan already in action. The writer has not clearly presented the idea behind the topic restatement. Instead of trying to create a very long sentence, the aim should have been to present a short but clear restatement. An introduction is totally unnecessary. A statement of representation is all that is needed to create a clear rephrasing of the original idea. The writer created a run on sentence in the last line since a totally different idea that could not be connected to the previous idea by the word "and" was provided. Unless related to a previously presented idea, an unrelated idea or response to a question should never be included in the same sentence. Each idea should represent only 1 idea either alone or within a cohesive context.