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## LANGUAGES ARE OUR HERITAGE
The globalization of the world has led to several problems including the fact that some languages are in danger the extinction every years.There is belief that this issue does not greatly impact or make any change since life can get less difficult if humans use fewer languages. From my perspective, hence a great number of different communicating system can be a double edged sword, we must appreciate the importance of its existence, which characterized, bolden the beauty of each particular culture.
To begin with, every language owns its very prideful story of the history, the people. American-English itself is a persuative example, owing to the immigrants of England to United States in the early 1800, American use English as their mother tounge. Likewise, standing through the so many battles, become a method of communication between enemies, languages are certained to be the strongest proof of a free-country which could have been dominated for million years. If the first language of a nation if kept, the solidatary can be grown stronger and more impressive. Moreover, the language may represents, stands for a country, a region for instance: French is called "the language of love" due to not only its pique accent and wide range of "high-end" vocabulary to express people's loving feeling but also where it is spoken, the scenery, the citizens are all romantic. Last but not least, the progress of inventing a new language requires long term of hardship, creativity, unstoppable efforts, as a result, the descendants who are lucky enough to heir a great treasure, are entilted to kept, to embrace their purity of their inheiritance.
Languages are not just communicating methods but also are figures, are culture, are pride to each religion which the language is spoken and written. No matter the language is used in a developing country or a third-world country, mother tounge should be conserved in the first place as a shining heritage of a country. In conclusion, it is extremely important to prevent several languages from dying out. | Pham, the essay that you developed as a response to the prompt has some good and not so good points. The good points, have to do with the fact that you clearly understood the prompt and did your best to discuss the topic in a logical and coherent manner. The not so good points, have to do with the fact that the essay was written in such a rush that you were unable to properly and completely develop the lines of reasoning that you presented in the second and succeeding paragraphs.
There is a lack of clarity in your discussions and you were not able to accurately represent the full prompt requirements, specially with regards to how much you agreed with the prompt. Your conclusion shows that you were confused by the actual prompt instructions because you stated information that is not really related to the instructions you were provided. Therefore, this essay can't possibly score higher than a 4.
While we cannot do anything more about the score that you might have gotten for this essay, I would like you to take the observations I made about your problem points in this work and apply the necessary corrections in your succeeding essays. Pay particular attention to how you develop your reasoning. You don't need to present too many supporting reasons one or two properly developed and discussed reasons will more than be sufficient to get your point across in the essay.
Don't forget to double check your response against the prompt requirements when you are done drafting it. Make sure that you did not miss any points for discussion. Check the discussion requirements and make sure that you accurately developed your discussion in alignment with the prompt expectations as well. |
**The below graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries, SUA, Sweden and Japan.**
150 words.
## numbers of elderly citizens
The line graph presents the rate of citizens aged 65 and over among three different countries, USA, Sweden and Japan in a period of 100 years length time.
In 1940, the elderly population from SUA and Sweden was at approximately 9% and 7% respectively. Subsequently, the percentage of elderly slightly increased in both West countries until 1980, where followed a slight fall. The rate of elderly national of SUA and Sweden met around 1998 at approximately 14%. However, Sweden 65 aged nationals started to increase sharply reaching 20% in around 2010. Whereas SUA elderly population kept a steady rate. Nevertheless, in 2020 thinks will tale a turn over of the situation for both west countries, as the percentage of elderly ageing 65 and over will rise to approximately 23% for SUA and 25% for Sweden in 2040.
Although, in Japan, the proportion shown in the graph regarding East elderly nationals is a slight fluctuation. In 1940, the rate was at 5% but afterwards slightly decreased until 1960 and 1990 approximately. However, from then kept rising and in 2020 will increase sharply and will surpass the percentages of SUA and Sweden, reaching the peak at 27% in 2040.
All in all, the percentage of elderly population among them three countries, SUA,Sweden and Japan, fluctuate and will increase gradually to 2040. | Ana, do you see how the graph is arranged chronologically by year and how the percentage discussions followed suit? There is a reason for that. You were being given an opportunity to discuss the graph by bracket. That means, doing a continuous comparison of the data by grouping the information presentation per paragraph. That way, you present a clear analysis covering at least 2 groups of years. Or, you could have discussed the first 3 years together, then the next 2 years, and then finally the last year which is forward looking, all as separate paragraph discussions. This could have increased your task accuracy and grammar range scores significantly because you would have written more words that hopefully, would have translated into a better description of the graph and increased understanding for the reader. That said, the possible score for your essay, based upon my previous, applicable comments and comparison of your work with the current chart, would be a 5. |
Cambridge book 9 test B, task 2
**Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**
## people in their teens are most happy
Deciding which age of the life is the happiest is a controversy in contemporary world. While many people think that teenage life is the joyful period out of all, contrarians may believe, adult life has more happiness. In regarding to the debate, pros of the teenage life outweigh the advantages of adult life as far as happiness is concerned.
Teenage life is undeniably the most entertaining part of one's life. Moreover, teenagers have very few responsibilities compared with adults. Further, teenagers most of the time get to associate with same age friends with same interests most of the time; many teenagers don't have to work since their parents fund their education and other extra activities.
Furthermore, modern day teenagers have more activities and facilities to entertain their life happily . for instance, unlike in past they can communicate with any of their friends; anytime of the day due to advancement of the technology. In addition, high school parties and sport events make the life of teenagers more colorful.
On the other hand, antagonists argue that adults can enjoy the life since they don't have any barriers: alcohol, cigarette, adult events. However, most of the events which have restricted to teenagers bring harm to mankind. To illustrate, smoking cause cancers. On top of all, the responsibilities adults have clearly reduce the happiness of adulthood.
As a result, despite the fact that being a teenager or an adult has their own merits, advantages of being teenagers are more significant than being adults. Teenage life has less responsibilities, and entertainment of the life is enormous in teenage life. Thus, teenage life is the most happiest part of life. | The biggest problem of this essay is your lack of proper paragraph development for each side of the discussion. There is the pro, the con, and the personal opinion side. 3 topics that should have been discussed in 3 body paragraphs, resulting in a 5 paragraph essay. That is not what you did here. The way the paragraphs are formatted, it is not clear that you are discussing a personal opinion instead of a comparison. The outline is weak because the flow of discussion presented in the paragraph does not list the proper discussion which should have included a clear indication of your opinion, which was to be discussed later on in the essay.
Your opening and closing paragraph are both wrong in this instance. The closing paragraph should have merely summarized the discussion, offered both opinion reasons, then closed with a restatement of your personal opinion. Due to the confusion in the way you presented your discussion, which did not follow the prompt requirement, you cannot score higher than a 4.
I will be unable to write a proper introduction and conclusion example for you because, in order for me to do that, I would have to rewrite your essay in the correct format. You will not learn anything if I revise this essay totally for you just to show you the right way to discuss it. I already indicated the problems and how you should fix it the next time you happen to come across an opinion discussion prompt. Apply the corrections there for an improved score. |
**IELTS writing Task 2 full time education before 18; disagree or agree**
*Thank you for correcting my essay and giving me some constructive advice!*
## longer education
With the pervasiveness of compulsory education, some people hold that pupils should continue to be educated until they are 18 years old. In my opinion, I agree that young students are ought to have full time education before the age of 18 as it will benefit both individuals and society.
The good reason for youngsters not to leave schools early is that it will award them advanced qualifications which are widely recognized by the whole society. At present, a number of labor engaging in lifetime of unskilled work in factories due to lack of graduation certificates of senior high schools,a phenomenon that is quite normal in China. However, graduates with higher-level certifications are capable of finding decent jobs such as secretaries , teachers and accountants more easily. According to a survey conducted by Global economics,there is strong evidence to show that the connection between the level of degrees and jobs' treatments worldwide.
Another point to consider is that further education can equip adolescents with the ability handling relationship with peers . Since seminars and group assignment account for large proportion in most senior schools curriculum schemes, students can be motivated to cooperate with others to tackle some complicated issues together. Only young generation under 18 year old participate in such activities enough, could they know how to get along with colleagues in workplace,which is beneficial for establishing harmonious working environment.
Finally, longer time education will benefit society in the long run, for the simple reason that it equips a wild section of young people with progressive techniques and professional knowledge instead of some basic ones.people. In other words, having a greater resource of skilled and knowledgeable professionals will bring more economic advantages to society as a whole
In conclusion, full time education until 18 is a must for any country that wishes to advance. The cost of longer full time education will be recouped many times over by the benefit it brings. | Jessie, please come up with an original title for your essay next time. You cannot use the prompt topic as the title. That will eventually earn you a suspension from the moderators. Consider this a friendly reminder. It is a reminder that also asks you to please post the complete prompt topic and instructions in the next thread because I need the complete prompt to compare your work against. I cannot accurately judge the completeness of your response if I do not have the guidelines by which I can analyze your work.
The first paragraph has a problem in it as you point out that you are stating your "opinion" on the matter. The basis of the essay discussion is not one of an opinion essay. This is an agreement or disagreement essay. Therefore, you could have simply stated that "I agree with the statement due to a number of reasons that will be discussed below." There is no need to say "In my opinion" because an opinion is different from taking a side and defending it. The side already exists and you are merely supporting it. To say "In my opinion" means that there is no side to be considered in the discussion yet. That is not the case in this essay so that is the wrong sentence to include in the opening statement.
Your second paragraph opens with a highly confusing statement. I think you translated from the original Chinese language when you developed the sentences. That is why it is kind of difficult to understand. You need to keep the sentences simple while you are doing the practice tests. Try to explain yourself in short sentences for now. You will slowly progress in sentence length as you gain more confidence and knowledge as to how to best develop English sentences.
In terms of required elements, your opening and closing statements need work. You have to learn to develop far more informative opening statements that can accurately portray the outline of the expected, upcoming discussion. While your concluding paragraph needs to be better developed in terms of simply closing the essay in a manner that accurately restates the prompt, summarizes the discussion, and finally, repeats your agreement or disagreement with the statement. |
Hello, I'm practicing for the IELTS test. Thanks for your help.
***Each year, the crime rate increases.
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?***
## increase of the criminality today
In recent years population growth, social inequality and low-wages are provoking higher percentages of felony than before. This essay will first describe three main causes why crime figures increase every year. It will then explain one possible solutions to avoid this issue.
The first cause is the overcrowding. Many cities around the world are dealing with the population increase, this problem brings a lack of job opportunities. As a result, if the people do not find a job, many of them can committed robbery. Low salaries is another source of crime. In several developing countries the income is only 1 dollar per hour, due to this some individuals steal money or material possessions to others. The third fact of crime is social inequality. Around the world there are few groups of power that have the major percentage of wealth; hence, there are more individuals living in poverty. As a result, the poor people do not have the same opportunities and facilities, and many of them can fall in addictions such as drug or alcohol. Because of these factors many individuals become criminals. Albeit, this is not a excuse, the social inequality can produce thieves.
One possible solution for low the crime rate is the government regulation. Is responsibility of the government to closely monitor the companies and their proceeding to maintain fair salaries. In addition, the government needs to guarantee the same opportunities to all the citizens in order to maintain the social equality.
To sum up, the increase of the criminality is a complex issue. Therefore it is necessary the intervention of the government and the collaboration of all the society. Because many people cannot pay their basic needs, such as food or health; while others spend thousands of dollars in clothes, cars or unuseful things. | Salma, in the summary paragraph / paragraph one, do not include any discussions or reasons that should be discussed later on in the paragraphs. The opening paragraph is meant solely for paraphrasing purposes. That means you should restate the topic for discussion and the instructions for the discussion in your own words. The reasons or causes, are to be discussed further on. The opening statement is just your outline. Nothing more.
The discussions you have presented are good. However, you cannot present 3 reasons in one paragraph. In order to write the essay properly, you should present a single topic per paragraph discussion. What you did here is wrong because you discussed 3 topics in a single paragraph and then proceeded to discuss other information in the other paragraphs. You are only allowed to present up to 3 discussion paragraphs in the essay. So the format of your essay is a bit off course. It had good intentions, but did not execute the presentation properly.
It is because of these major problems in your essay that I believe it cannot score higher than a 5. Again, the discussion is good, but the presentation needs to be corrected. Specially in the conclusion where you continue to discuss more information about the problem rather than just wrapping up the discussion in the expected manner. |
## business purchase
If I have enough money to purchase either a house or business I will purchase business. I had read a quote about business that, "making money is art and working is art and business is best art." I will spend my money in business art and I want to make lots of money. In my view if my business will success I can buy house, car, and all other needs. I see many advantages of buying business over house due to many advantages among which some are mentioned below.
To begin with, lots of the successful business man start with small business and grown up as richest person in world. If they had spent their money purchasing a house today they would not on that position. So, I want to spend money on poultry farming. It is gaining market and also it is easy and cheaper to establish. I will work hard on it daily, bringing my business from local market to international market. From that I can earn huge amount of money. By the way to the example, I can recall business of my one villager. He used to have nothing. When he had married he got three lakh as dowry. He invest three lakh on poultry farming and he currently he has house, car, and live a happy life. So starting own business is a process of earning money and one day this business if go well can lead a person to be a richest person in the world. For example, Mukesh Amani richest person of India was a tea maker. Now starting from his small business his name is in the top most successful person list.
So, in addition to the important of the earning money, business is a key to the standard lifestyle. Owing a business gives you a certain lifestyle. You can have your own house, own car, can fulfill all needs and can live luxurious life. Because you are owner of your own business you can decide where and where you want to work. At what time you are going to office. Where you are going for vacation. Do buying a house gives you all this comfort? Of course, not. For example, my uncle sale his land and buy a building in city, he has just a home as a property. Today, he has no income source and my elder brother is caring him. So I think business is your security of your life and your lifestyle.
Finally, creative freedom and personal satisfaction is another benefit of choosing business. As a business owner you will be able to work in the field that you really enjoy. You can put your knowledge and skills into use, and can gain personal satisfaction by implementing your ideas in the field you are interested. You will be happy seeing your business succeed. So, as I am business student it will be my first step towards the career.
By the way to the conclusion, based on the arguments explored above I am of the opinion that if I have enough money I will choose to buy a business. Being a business owner is really a exciting and key to success. I can have success with its various advantages. One day starting from small business I will kiss my dream. That day I will not only have a big house but also every luxurious things. | Though your prompt restatement is a bit lacking in terms of actually reflecting the discussion you are to provide, the rest of the essay managed to work well in terms of delivering on the needs of the discussion. As such, I believe that you could get a score anywhere between a 3 and 4. I am not sure as to how the actual examiner would score you on the increments of the criteria which is why I gave you the basis for your possible final score instead.
The problems with your essay include the problem with the prompt paraphrasing and also, the somewhat problematic English grammar such as saying "By the way to the example..." should have been "By way of an example..." resulted in an inconsistency in the way that you form sentence structures and also proves a limited understanding of the English vocabulary. Hence, you were scored less because of these inconsistencies and problems with your presentation. |
## Quixotic goals
Policy, which alleviates the elementary problems of the society, are necessary to be implemented for the striving of the nations. However, during the formulation of it, fervor argument develops between the politician and policy maker- should our political goal be based on the idealism or realistic? Evaluating the both sides, the policy depended on common grounds are likely to be successful, prevents the further suffering of citizen and leads to faster development of a country.
Quixotic goal, unlike real goal, are appealing when some politician gives speech about it, their goal seems grandiose, but rarely are achieved because in idealistic goal various parameter helping to shape an aim are trifle compared to actual need of parameter for achieving such goal. Nepal is reach in hydro resource, for instance, it has potential to generate upto 1200 Megawatt electricity. However, since the country lacks various infrastructure- funding, technical man power- and potential water resources are located in inaccessible areas, it is hard for Nepal to achieve optimum utilization of water resources. However, policy to harness the full power of resources has been implemented for 20 years and completion rate is not more than 5 percent. Instead, if policy makers had focused only on the accessible, low funding resources, the hydro electricity production would have been higher now. The achievement success is higher in goals based on sound reasoning and grounds rather than idealistic goal.
Furthermore, if any politician is obsessed with their grandiose plan and policy, then it will prompt many suffering to citizen. if a country, for example, where higher power personnel wants to increase their military power despite poor economic condition of country, then the citizen will suffer from dire fate. They have to pay higher tax, other facilities such as health, education-character for promoting quality of life- are focused insignificantly by government. Because it is supposed that North Korea spends large amount of budget in military personnel, we heard about suffering of many north- Korean people. Similarly, During the construction of Taaj-mahal, which was a grandiose plan, requiring enormous amount of capital and took 30 years for completion, most citizen had to pay high taxes, gave higher portion of harvest, causing them to live a miserable life. It also emptied the state money and subverted defensive power, thus making country vulnerable to attack and other havoc in country.
However, some may argue that quixotic goals are example of something unachievable, making the people believe that everything is possible. However, to achieve such goals, insurmountable of resources are required, so such aim are barely successful. If we compare successfulness between goal achieved on reasonable grounds and ideal grounds, then measure of grounds based aim are much higher than the latter. Therefore, for the rapid development of any country, society or community, policy maker should focus on reasonable grounds.
In conclusion, quixotic goals can hardly be achieved, obscures basic need of people, causing them to live in tribulation, but reasoned based goals aid in developing of the country as it has high success rate. Therefore, Politician, I believe that, should focus on policy hinged on realistic grounds. | Paras, please make sure that you develop an original title for your essay next time. Do not use the prompt as the title because I need the complete prompt included with the essay posting in the text box. That way I can immediately give you an accurate review of your work, along with a possible score instead. Please remember that the other members of our community will not be able to participate in your thread if they do not know what topic you are trying to discuss and what exam you are taking. In this case, I am familiar with both the prompt requirement and the test that you are taking so I will be able to offer you advice on how to improve your essay. I am just sad that the other will not be able to participate in the thread due to the missing prompt requirement. Please provide that as soon as you can so that the others can also offer you their help.
In reference to the work that you did. The full requirement of the GRE essay requires you to take the stance that is closest to the personal position that you have. The statement of this position should be located in the opening statement along with the restatement or paraphrasing of the topic for discussion. You failed to do that in this essay. In fact, you did not indicate your position on the discussion until the concluding paragraph. So you will be scored less due to that oversight on your part.
There is also the problem of English grammar accuracy on your part. Please note that there is a difference between the terms "reach" and "rich". "Reach" means to "stretch out an arm in a specified direction in order to touch or grasp something." or "a continuous extent of land or water, especially a stretch of river between two bends, or the part of a canal between locks.", while "rich" means "having a great deal of money or assets; wealthy." You must always aim to use the correct English term for your essay or you will lose points for using the wrong word in the sentence. This is a problem with like sounding words. Be very careful about this because it has the ability to change the meaning or create confusion about the meaning of what you want to say.
Due to the problems with your discussion, I feel that in an actual test setting, the work that you did cannot gain you a score higher than a 4. The score is based on the problems with your writing style and grammar and usage. |
Hello everybody. I am new member. I have started writing Ielts and I hope you can help me correct my report. Which band I can get in this task? Thanks a lot.
This is topic in task 1 ( from ielts-simon): **The graph below shows the amount of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years.**
## Waste - the side product in an industry
The line graph illustrates the quantity of waste generated from three companies namely A, B, C from 2000 to 2015.
It is clear that both company A and B trended to reduce producing waste, while the amount of waste from company C nearly tripled over the time shown.
In 2000, company A produced the most waste, at 12 tonnes, followed by waste of company B and C with around 8 tonnes and about 6 tonnes respectively. There was a quick increase in the amount of waste of company B and C, at 10 tonnes and 6 tonnes in 2005. In contrast, the figure for company A went down approximately 11 tonnes.
The period from 2005 to 2015 witnessed a sharp rise in the amount of waste produced by company C, and the figure was highest, with nearly 10 tonnes in 2015. Whereas, company A and B reduced producing waste to about 8 tonnes and 3 tonnes respectively.
*
*line graph* | Hong, you could have produced a more informative essay if you had discussed the waste production of companies B and C in separate paragraphs first. That way, you focus on the information of the individual company, which is important information to the reader, prior to your comparing their overlapping information. While your essay is informative, it is a bit mechanical in information because you only present the facts as shown in the chart. There is a lack of analysis of the information provided, which could have helped you to create a better informed essay for the reader. You should try to see deeper into the information provided than just what is handed to you in the illustration. There is always additional information to be found when you analyze a chart thoroughly. |
## saving money is a good habit
Nowadays, things are getting more expensive and have a lower quality and quantity. I understand that sometimes you did not have money to buy things because I faced this kind of problems before. However, we can take some simple measures to prevent this problem to happen.
First and foremost, you can prepare a book to record your daily expenses. In this way, you will know how much you are spending and see where you have spend your money mostly. You can always keep track of your money and check on it regularly. At the end of a month, you can see the balance of your money and when you realize you have spent more than you expected, you will reflect yourself and check where has your money gone. It will also train you to become more organized.
Furthermore, you can make a budget plan at the beginning of the month. For instance, you can plan your expenses to avoid over-spending. You can also include your expenses that happen regularly such as stationery, food, book and transportation fees. By using this method, you can control yourself on buying things which are unnecessary such as luxury items.
Moreover, you can include savings in your plan. For example, create a saving category in your plan. You can categorize your savings into different categories such as entertainment, books and loans. In this way, you will always have enough money during emergencies. This will lead you to be more careful and become wise shoppers in the future.
In a nutshell, saving money is a good habit which should be cultivated from young age. Saving money should be adapted to our daily life. We can learn to be more mature and independent when spending on our own money. I hope you will take my advice and practice this good habit in your daily life. | Okay. Here are some tips. When discussing in past tense, it is not always necessary to say the word "have". So in your first paragraph, you could have simply said "You mentioned in your letter..." That is because "have" connotes an action that is still taking place. In this case, it has already happened so it is no longer necessary to say "have". In the second paragraph, say "you do not have" instead of "did not have". Did not have connotes a past action while "Do not have" connotes an ongoing situation that still requires a solution. Third paragraph should say "where you spent your money". Again, this is all about the timeline in the letter. Most of your sisters actions have already occurred and as such, must take on the past form of presentation. Also, it is better to say "... you will reflect on your actions..." instead of "reflect on yourself". Basically, the mistakes in your grammar are so minimal and negligible since it does not alter the meaning of the sentence nor make the paragraph confusing to read. That is why I did not think the corrections were necessary. For an ESL, you are doing a very good job in expressing yourself in written English. |
topic: **you recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. write a letter to your friend. in your letter: ask your friend to send you on of the photographs, explain why you need that particular photograph; and tell your friend what happened to your copy of it.**
---------------------------------
## I need a favor from my friend
Dear Sarah,
Hope all is well. Here, I need a big favor from you and hope you can help me out.
I was in the midst of backing up all recent photos to my laptop and strangely some photos went missing during the data transferring process. While I've managed to retrieve some photos, there was one that went completely missing and could not be found. That photo had both of us in it and it was taken during our trip to Japan last summer! Do you remember which one? It was the one where we took together after we've successfully completed our first full marathon. It's so meaningful as it captured such a memorable event for both of us. It would be a shame if I could not have it back.
I wonder if you could send me a copy of the photograph? I would like to print it out and frame it. I'm sure it will be a perfect decoration for my new house.
Hope you can shed some lights over.
Best,
Jamie | There are a number of things that you could have done to turn this into an 8 essay. First of all, you should have gotten the time reference right. Then, you could have written a longer letter composed of about 3 paragraphs. That meant that the tone of the letter would have needed to be more cordial in order to have you write more English words that hopefully, would have translated into more complex sentences. Using English words or slang that is more commonly known to native English speakers would have also been helpful. When you use slang that is common only to your part of the world, you will lose the reviewer. So it is always best to either keep the slang to a minimum or not use it at all. A little bit more of English fluency, to the level of a native speaker would have been necessary to secure the final criteria that could have scored you an 8. It is very difficult to achieve an 8 but it can be done. With constant practice of both the written and spoken English language, you just might get to that level. That level of writing though, normally takes ESL students years, if not decades to achieve. Just keep practicing and you will eventually get to that level. |
**In many countries, more and more young people are unable to find jobs after graduation.**
## unemployed graduates
With the tendency that youth graduates find it difficult to find a job nowadays, youth unemployment is becoming a big issue in many countries in the world. This essay will point out some negative consequences as well as give some possible solution to remedy it.
to begin with, the obvious affect is that jobless people cannot find the way to earn for living, thus they are incapable of supporting themselves and their family as well as covering the loans which they might have for education at university or college, (which really creates) creating a big pressure not only on them but also on their family financially and psychologically. Therefore, they may be haunted by depress and negative.
However, it is far from private problems, it is actually a problem of entire society when the rate of social instability increases, and people with resentment and disappointment can much more easily form gangs or groups which can commit robbery, stole, pick-pocket or other more serious crimes.
The solution should be discussed at both personal and government scales. It is high time that government allowance for the unemployed should be made policy in order to maintain social instability as well as give them a chance to have a better life. Besides, some people content that having a further education can give unemployed people more advantages. However, in my opinion, I do not totally agree with this idea, because it seems to delay the problem rather than solve it. A more crucial thing is that the young with unemployment should be taken into the consideration; they should lower their expectation or can accept the seemingly more fundamental works, maybe in their community or rural area. With the solutions mentioned above, I believe that the situation can be diminished.
(can you help me to correct mistakes in this essay? Thank you very much) | When you are asked to give a potential solution to the problem such as "What can be done to address this problem?" which is the question posed in this essay, you can give your own solution to the problem. The solution can be based on your personal approach to the problem and the solution you would apply to it. It does not have to be the perfect solution, nor does it have to be the correct solution. It just has to be a solution. There are no right or wrong answers to these essay questions. The questions are meant to test your English understanding and writing skills. It does not consider the validity of the answers based upon applicability such as if you were taking the GRE test. Just write the solution that you think will work for the problem in an understandable manner. Use simple English if you have to. It won't matter in the end as long as your solution falls within the prompt parameters. |
## island transformation
The maps show the transformation of an island before and after the construction of some tourism facillities.
Overall, the changes occurred on most parts of the island, about two third its length.
The most dramatic changes happened on the west side and the center of the island with many bungalows built around the trees, which were there originally and remained intact after the construction. Also, a pier was built on the south coast.
The beach in the far west was turned into a swimming area when more than half of the east side stayed unchanged. There is a vehicle track from the pier to the restaurant on the north side and the reception located at the center of the island. For accessing to the accommodations, footpaths are available all around each bungalow.
* | Alice, due to the mechanical nature of your essay, you cannot score higher than a 5 with this work. The essay only represents the clear information from the illustrations provided. Your comparison is incomplete and does not provide a complete idea of how the transformations on the island occurred. It was important for your essay that you properly compared and contrasted the illustrations. An explanation of the before and after images would have been more than appropriate for this discussion. If you will recall the instructions for this prompt, you were to make comparisons where it was applicable. However, there was no comparison made in your essay. Instead of having the expected 4 paragraph discussion, you only have 2 paragraphs and one underdeveloped summary overview. It is because of the lack of proper discussion in the essay that you provided which led to the score of 5 in the overall consideration of your work. |
**Any new technological development in the recent years is a boon or curse for the society in general**
## new technology - a blessing or a threat?
Science and technology have great influence on human life since their inception. A lot of technological enhancements have taken place in the developing society, and which are conspicuously affecting people's life. Considering this, some analysts argue that technology is improving our life, while, others think it is creating problems. This essay focuses on some pros and cons of technological advancements and asserts the appropriate conclusion.
To begin, technology has made our life very comfortable. It is clear that computers these days are so efficient and easy to use for people that they become a part of their life. Furthermore, with the advent of electronic communication world has become a global village. For instance, VOIP technology helps people to do face-to-face conversation with their kin and kith anytime. Moreover, technology enhances the students interest and intimacy towards their studies. They can watch recorded video tutorials to clear their concepts in any field. Also, medical discoveries occur at a much more rapid rate; thanks to machines and computers that aid in the research process and allow for more intense educational research into medical matters.
On the other hand, technology also brings some threats to people. Firstly, the inventions of weapons especially nuclear war gadgets are extremely dangerous for the existence of the entire life forms on the Earth. Secondly, an increased use of motor vehicles causes the contamination of the environment which eventually causes certain problems such as rise in a surface temperature and global warming. Lastly, companies that depend heavily on computer systems to conduct business can come to a virtual standstill if the system breaks down.
To conclude, I pen down saying that, the advantages of technologies outweigh disadvantages. However, as every garden has some weeds, higher authorities must take appropriate steps to reduce its negative effects. | Prasanth, the proper paraphrasing of the prompt depends solely on the way that you understand the topic for discussion and the method by which you are being asked to present the discussion of the essay. Therefore, the first paragraph should contain a clear representation of what you believe the topic discussion is. What do you understand from the meaning of the topic presented in the prompt? After you explain what you understand about it, present the next set of instructions related to the discussion. Either an agreement, a disagreement, an opinion, a comparison, or anything else that the prompt instruction may expect you to do. So these will be about 2 additional sentences to the first paragraph for a total of 3 sentences. I would like nothing more than to show you how to properly write a proper opening statement for your essay. If you can provide me with the original and complete prompt instructions for the essay that you wrote above, I will do my best to present an example to you that will best respond to your questions and serve as your guideline in creating the opening statement for this and your future essays. |
## migration to and emigration from the UK
The graph describes the number of UK residents going abroad from the UK and overseas residents visiting the UK between 1979 and 1999, whilst the bar chart provides information about how many UK residents traveled to the top five popular countries in 1999. Units are measured in millions of people.
The number of UK residents visiting overseas commenced nearly 15 million in 1979 and increased sharply to reach over 50 million in 1999. Furthermore, around 10 million overseas residents visited the UK in the first year before rising gradually to just under 30 million by the final year.
In 1999, France was the foremost visited country by more than 10 million UK citizens, followed by Spain at approximately 9 million. The USA and Greece had about 4 million and 3 million the UK visitors respectively. Turkey was the least popular country visited which had only about 2 million UK residents traveled there.
In brief, there was an increment in the number of visits to and from the UK and there were more visits abroad by UK citizens than visits to the UK by foreign people over the period given. Moreover, the most popular visited country by UK residents was France in 1999.
* | Sehat, the inclusion of the names of the 5 countries in the summary statement would have made the first paragraph more complete in terms of summary overview. It would have also increased the number of your sentences which would have helped to prove a more increased understanding of the information provided and thus, increased the relevant scoring portions. Your presentation is clear and understandable. It does not offer any stress on the part of the reader because your language was simple enough to be understood. Overall, the essay accomplished the task except for a little redundancy in the first paragraph which lowered the score to just a 5 overall. Good work though. I expect to see continued improvement over the coming practice tests. Keep up the good work. |
**Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your house flat.
Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter explain the reasons for the noise apologise.
Describe what action you will take.**
## grumbling about loud sounds in my flat
Dear Smith,
Hope you are doing well. This email is in response to your complaint about the noise from my flat and to seek an apology for the inconvenience caused for the last one week.
As you might be aware that recently my wife delivered a baby boy and discharged from the hospital last week. On this auspicious occasion, many of my relatives and dearest friends visited the house to congratulate my family. Thus there were instances where the noise was created by their children and I didn't realise that it reached till your home and disturbed to a greater extent. The situation was restrained from yesterday as most of them had left to their home already.
I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused for the last one week and would convey the message to the other visitors to ensure the incident is not repeated.
I hope you would understand the situation and forgive me.
Regards,
Jaya Krishna | Jaya, when you address your neighbor, you will have to be gender specific because you are using the last name of the person. The gender specific salutation is either "Dear Mr. Smith", "Dear Mrs. Smith" or "Dear Ms. Smith" for a single woman. Do not just say "Dear Smith" because that is disrespectful to your neighbor. If possible, include the first name of the neighbor in the letter. The rest of the your letter has a more respectful tone and accurately explains what happened along with an assurance that it will not happen again.
The opening statement of your letter is a bit unclear. You practically just cut and paste the prompt requirement to a certain degree, before you confusingly used the term " an apology for the inconvenience caused for the last one week." The correct presentation should have been " an apology for the noise that caused you inconvenience last week."
The closing statement of the letter should have been friendlier by closing with an invitation to meet the neighbor to see your baby or just an invitation to visit in general. That makes the situation light and allows the neighbor to see that you are truly apologetic for what happened.
This is a good attempt at writing a letter. You have shown some improvement since the first letter that you wrote. I am confident that you will continue to improve based upon the way that you showed changes in your writing style in this letter. However, the score for this essay cannot be higher than a 5 due to the existing problems in the development of the letter. |
## The road to work and air pollution
The given table and bar chart display the data about several categories of commuting pattern of people in Houston, Texas and how much the type of transportation contribute to the CO2 emission. Overall, it can be seen clearly that cars with only one person are the most common transportation mode and cause the highest emission of CO2 compared with the other means of transport.
Car with just driver break the record as the largest percentage of commuters at 48% while cycle/walk only stand at 4% as the lowest percentage of travellers. Nevertheless, car with one person only obtain the second position when it comes to the average age of traveller category. The highest proportion at this category is reached by train or bus at 47 with roughly similar number on each type of transport.
Apart from previous comparison, cycle or walk appears as the most environmentally friendly means of transport with zero emission. It is followed by bus or train with approximately only 0,01 kg of CO2 emission. Conversely, the most contributed on CO2 emission is seen on car with one person category which stand at 0,32 kg per person while sharing car category only release less than one-third of the highest emission.
* | Ainun, please remember that in the overview summary, you are not allowed to present factual data that exists in any of the illustrations. Instead, you are supposed to mention those only as general parts of the overview statement. The specific information, such as you have currently stated in your summary, must be included within the appropriate body paragraph instead. You must also present a minimum of 3 sentences there. Simply dividing the information presented in the paragraph into shorter sentences would have easily met this requirement and showed a better understanding of the paraphrased prompt requirement.
Regardless of the problem with the summary statement, the work that you did on the rest of the paragraphs can be summed up in one word. Admirable. You have done a pretty good job of representing all of the information provided in the table and bar chart. While the grammar could be better and an in-depth analysis could have been better provided, you did well enough on this essay to possible score a 5 overall in an actual test. |
**Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it cost.
How true is the statement? What influences people when they buy food.
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience?**
## are people interested in food ingredients?
Answer:
Nowadays, the perception of people about food has changed not only to fulfill basic needs but also as lifestyle. As a result, there are many considerations for people before they buy food and not everyone makes the same ways when they go to market for buy some foods.
Most commonly, the limitation of time to prepare meal is one of the factors people choose and purchase food. For example, for people who live in metropolitan city and have typical work that need rapid time, they depend on fast food or junk food as main meal all day. Even in some occasions, this people do not have opportunity to spend their break time to visit restaurants around their offices. They just call a certain restaurant to order their breakfast, lunch and even dinner instead of spending more time in kitchen for cooking some foods and dishes.
On the other hand, quality and taste are important for people as consideration to buy food. For instance, for people who have enough time for cooking, they will select the best quality of food materials and cooking tools. From the first step, hunting fresh vegetable and meat in the market, they will maximize their effort to buy the best food. Furthermore, they also use proper equipment and tools to cook as well as add special spices to produce high quality and tasty food.
Lifestyle, the other factor, also will affect people to consider how they choose food. For example, for people who are addicted to organic food, they will spend much more money just for buying organic product such as organic vegetables or organic fruits. In addition, for vegetarian who usually consider the freshness of vegetable, they also place the quality of vegetable as the main reason.
In conclusion, it seems that not all people consider cost as the only one reason why people decide to buy food. Even some people place on money as the top reason to get food, others have less attention in this thing, and they will voluntarily use some amount of their cash to buy food just to meet their satisfaction. | Aziz, it seems that you somehow understood the prompt but failed to properly discuss the requirements. The paraphrasing of the prompt topic is nowhere near the original topic, you did not discuss the extent of the truth behind the statement, and your experiences and other evidence presented did not align with the topic for discussion at all. What is evident in your discussion is that you responded to a totally different prompt topic. It is almost as if you decided to write a discussion on a topic you wanted to present, based upon the prompt topic provided. That is not how you write these essays. You have to fully understand the topic and the discussion requirements before you start even drafting a response. If you feel you do not truly understand what to do, then ask questions or clarifications from those who might be better at understanding the prompt. That is how you get better at writing. Do not be afraid to ask questions when you need to. That is how you learn and improve your learning / writing style.
It is because of these problems that I sadly give you an overall score of 2 for this test. I am extremely sad because in the final paragraph of your essay, you actually showed that you understood some of the prompt requirements. It is just that you did not properly represent the discussion based upon the prompt instructions.Please do your best to understand and respond to the next practice test that you will be doing. I can sense your potential to write a proper essay. The evidence is felt in some instances in this essay. You just need to make sure that you do it properly next time. |
## Wind Turbine characteristics
The diagrams illustrate how a wind turbine is designed for generating electricity and several options where a wind turbine can be placed.
To begin with, a wind turbine consists of the steel tower, blades, wind sensor, generator, controlling house and computer. Steel tower has certain high, approximately twice as high as its blade. In addition, there are three blades that are made of fiberglass or wood. These blades are facing the wind direction, and there is also a wind sensor that has functioned as to control blade speed and blade direction. When the wind is blowing the blades, it will turn the blade and the generator will produce electricity with maximum output 1.5 megawatts. Meanwhile, computer in a controlling house directly connect with wind sensor. This computer is functioned to manage blade direction and angle.
Furthermore, there are three alternative locations for placing a wind turbine. The first option is placing in a top of mountain. This site is the best option to build a wind turbine because the wind will flow in the maximum strengths. Second alternative place is putting a wind turbine in off shore, and in this site will give an advantage that the landscape will be not destroyed by the effect of wind turbine. While the last choice to place a wind turbine is in the near of human house, it means that it is not the best place because the output of turbine is only generating maximum 100 kilowatts.
In general, a design of wind turbine has standard design and has main features that have important role. There are also many options to placing a wind turbine in certain site and each site has each advantage.
*
* | Aziz, I am not sure why you attached the black and white copy of the illustration. The one with the keywords to be used in the essay. Were you supposed to use the words? If you were, I certainly did not find any references to it in the essay. Please clarify why you posted the other diagram as well.
Your essay did not really deliver on all points of the prompt requirement. You were supposed to make comparisons where relevant within your summary presentation. This should have been done when you discussed the height and positioning of the wind turbine in comparison to the air and power generated at every level. Since you did not do that in this presentation, you would have lost a number of important points in the final scoring.
Try to work on improving your summary and conclusion paragraphs. These are extremely short and do not really deliver on the required information for these paragraphs. Both are supposed to offer a summary overview , in the case of the opening statement, and a wrap up for the provided discussion, in the concluding paragraph. Neither of which are seen in your essay. So I think the best score that you can get for this essay would be a 4 overall. That is due to the missing comparisons and improper length of the opening summary and concluding statement.
I understand that this is your very first posting here at EF. So I will not feel so bad if I were you. I have given you comments and advice that you can apply to your next and other succeeding task 1 essays. If you follow my advice, you should show improvement over the next few essays. I will make sure that you improve. I'll be here to help you every step of the way. Don't worry or feel frustrated. This is just your first try, there is plenty of room for improvement on your end. |
## recycling of the toxic materials
The charts illustrate the ways used to dispose of the harmful garbage in Korea, Sweden and United King dom. The data indicates the main method used in each country.
In Korea, the majority of dangerous waste products are recycled. By contrast, most of the harmful wastes are buried underground in Sweden and UK. The United Kingdom is the country that has most ways utilized to dispose of hazardous materials.
In Korea, around 69% of dangerous harmful products are recycled, compared to about 25% in Sweden and 0% in the UK. In the United Kingdom, recycling is not popular and not employed. However, the UK people prefer burying dangerous waste materials instead. The percentage of underground made up 82% in the UK, while it stands at 22% in Korea and 55% in Sweden.
Besides that, chemical treatment and dumping at sea which are not mentioned on the pie chart of Korea and Sweden are used in the United Kingdom. They are not really popular and stand at a similar percentage, 8%. 20% of hazardous waste products went on incineration in Sweden. By contrast, it reaches 9% and 2% in Korea and UK.
*
* | To, you don't need to upload the prompt. You can provide that in the text box. What we really need you to upload is the image. I really cannot understand what it is that you are doing wrong. The uploading instruction for the image is so simple that anybody can do it. It is necessary for you to ask for help from the moderators about your problem. I need the clear image, not the prompt. How can I make you remember ,**"POST THE PROMPT, UPLOAD THE IMAGE".** It isn't difficult to do.
Your summary overview is still incomplete. You only have 2 sentences in a paragraph that requires at least 3 sentences in order to present a valid overview. The summary should have been a complete paraphrasing of the instructions in the prompt. You did not provide that so you will lose points for that.
Your second paragraph is so incomplete that you only have 2 paragraphs in it. Again, please try to remember the simple and hard rule of academic essay writing, **"3 sentences minimum, 5 sentences maximum per paragraph. You lose points for having only 2 sentences.That is an under developed and not very informative sentence."**
You did well in the development of the last 2 paragraphs. However, the information should have been spread out within the 3 body paragraphs instead of being concentrated in only 2 developed paragraphs.
The score for this essay? I think you can somehow manage to score a 5 because you at least provided a mechanical representation of the information and showed an understanding of the prompt. The language is not advanced and is pretty basic but gets your message across without causing undue stress on the reader. So overall, this is an acceptable, though flawed piece of writing. There is some improvement to your work but you are far from showing remarkable improvement at this point. Maybe your next essay will show that already. You are getting better at it in a slow but sure manner. |
**The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**
## water utilization numbers
The line graph shows information about water utilization in three sectors around the world from 1990 to 2000 and measured by kilometer cubic. Overall, it can be seen that water use was increase in all three fields, with agriculture aims had the most significant rise. The water use for agriculture sector stood at about 500 km3 in 1990, then it rose dramatically by around 2500 km3 in 2000. In addition, the water consumption for industrial and domestic aims moved up to 1000 km3 and 200 km3 respectively in the end of period.
The table provides comparison of water use in Brazil and Congo in term of their population size, area of irrigation, and water consumption per person in 2000. Generally, Brazil was at the higher amount among all categories than Congo. Brazil, which had 176 million people, allocated 26.500 km2 of it's area for irrigation land. Moreover, each Brazilian use 359 m3. Congo, which had fewer population than Brazil, managed 100 km2 for irrigated land. Congolese used only 8 m3 of water per person.
* | Nuradia, the summary overview of the essay is not presented at all. The opening statement should have first indicated the kinds of illustration provided, what each illustration would be discussing, and how the two charts are related. Without that summary information, even though you wrote more than 150 words, your task accuracy score would be extremely affected.
While the separated discussion of the charts worked well for the essay in terms of the paragraph presentation, the fact that you were not able to merge a paragraph topic presentation for the charts in a fourth and final paragraph leaves the essay less than completely presented and discussed. It proves that aside from the clearly available information in the charts, there was no attempt on your part to analyze the illustrations farther than what you could visibly see. You did not try to study the chart for extra information to be presented in the summary essay. The presentation of analyzed information, based upon the present information would have raised the score consideration for your essay.
Based upon the problems that I enumerated, I am very sad to say that the essay cannot gain more than a score of 4 overall. |
**In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.**
*What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.*
## life on suburbs or in a city
Today, large number of humans reside in urban place while conversely, most people in the past lived in suburb area where they knew each other closely. I would argue that dwelling in small village had several merits and demerits.
Needless to say, emotional connection between people living in small community were more closely each other. It was because they lived in small area which require them to interact each other in more intense way. Taking my experience as an example, when I visited a remote village in South Sulawesi for a research purpose. At the time, there was a funeral ceremony and interestingly, the whole occupants in the area joined together to supply all needs for the family who are in grief without expecting any rewards for their help. The community undoubtedly reflect the strong emotional relation in small community environment. In addition, inhabitants in village tend to have a good quality of health because they accustomed to breath of fresh air without exposing by air pollution. As such, they will be more active and will be automatically got a low level of stress.
However, there are drawbacks of living in small community faced by the inhabitants. Firstly, they had a limited social networks due to the situations where they lived only involved small number of people. As their interaction pattern only circle in one minor and limited scope of society. Then, the dwellers got less education and job opportunities. For instance, most of young people in small village in Kabaena Island only get their education up to the level of highschool. As a result, they were only hired for a blue-collar jobs since they don't have a higher education background. Not only this, recent research reveals that people living in village tend to experience poverty in their life.
The aforementioned evidences show the two sides of drawbacks and benefits for people who reside in small village. However, I believe that those drawbacks can be reduced by equalizing the development in large city and small village. | An effective thesis statement is one that paraphrases the prompt while delivering a personal understanding on your part of the required discussion points of the essay. These are normally presented within 3-5 sentences but do not include any factual information that you will be discussing in the body of the essay. An example of this properly developed prompt would be as follows:
*Up till recently, it was pretty common for people to live in small villages where everyone is familiar with one another. These days though, people have taken to living in large cities where they rarely know their neighbors. Based upon the new living ideology, certain advantages and disadvantages have resulted from living in a small community. In this essay, I will be presenting information that will help to determine the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community based upon my personal knowledge and experience.*
If this were an opinion essay, the fifth sentence would have contained a presentation of my opinion. |
**The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.**
## TRANSPORT AND DELIVERY WITHIN UK
The line graph compare the quantities of goods moved using four kinds of means in the UK between 1974 and 2002, measured in million tones. Overall, it can clearly be seen that pipeline was the only mode that never experienced a decrease.
Road was used for the delivery of the highest quantity of commodity in UK, starting at 70 in 1974 and ending at just under 100 in 2002. it experienced decreases twice, from 72 to 70 between 1978 and 1982 and from 82 to 79 between 1991 and 1994. Meanwhile, the least amount was sent using pipeline. at first, it stood at only 5 then it kept increasing to 21 in 1995, followed by a stable trend afterward.
in the first 4 years, water and rail were almost at the same level, around 40, but in the next 7 years whereas rail decreased to 30, water rose to just under 60. Between 1986 and 1998, the rail fluctuated between 30 and 40 while the water declined slightly to around 50. the following years saw the surge, with water witnessing more significant rise than the other.
@holt please examine this writing. million of thanks for you
* | You incompletely summarized the chart requirements. A complete outline of the four modes of transportation is required in the essay to complete the discussion outline. That is why you feel under the minimum sentence requirement for that paragraph. The overview summary helps to create the first line of high points for your essay. So you must never overlook it's importance when you develop it. Make sure all discussion points are represented in the summary for a maximum grade possibility. Your conclusion has an incomplete representation as well. You need to relay the comparison numbers for water in order to prove your observation that the water mode of transportation showed a yearly fluctuation in the chart. This is a better attempt at solid writing on your part. The problem is that I don't think you can score higher that a 3.4 for this particular task. The basis of the score is the incomplete information provided along with a very mechanical presentation of the information. |
**Topic : The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?**
## Trouble with commuting
Nowadays, people who live in cities always facing same trouble when they get outside: a heavy traffic. Some people believe that by decreasing the need for people to go for work, school, shopping, and other activities from their home is the only way to address the issue. However, there are another ways to solve the amount of traffic in more appropriate way.
Mostly people today move from one place to another by using their own car. They go for work, education, or shopping everyday as they willingness to fulfill their responsibility and necessary as well. The world is move fast, so do the people. Then, the way to limit their needs are seem impossible to be done.
I believe there are several ways to decrease the amount of traffic in cities in an effective way. Firstly, government should ensure that public transportations are accessible for everyone. People in cities now might choose their own car to travel because they find that public transportations are less comfortable and spend more time. Therefore, the increasing quality of public transportation should be a concern for leader of cities. Secondly, the government ought to restructure the road system. There might be many small and unaccessible roadway hence contribute to the traffic. Besides, the government could also establish the law aims to rise the tax of cars. The rule is expected to decrease the willingness of people to buy a new car.
To sum up, there are some ways to address the traffic issue in cities. Decreasing the need of people to travel is seem less effective. The government should put more effort in regulate the law that needed to solve the problem. | Nuradia, your final score for this essay will be a 3. That is because you ended up discussing a totally different essay from the prompt provided. The prompt clearly states that you are to discuss either an agreement or disagreement with the given proposition. The discussion that you should have presented should have been a statement either of support or opposition to the topic provided. After that statement, you should have continued the discussion using supporting statements to justify your agreement or disagreement. Instead, for some reason related to a misunderstanding of the prompt, you ended up discussing ways to solve the traffic problem. If you compare the prompt discussion with what you wrote, you will notice that you are not being asked to discuss ways to solve the traffic problem, only whether you agree or disagree that the only way to reduce traffic is by reducing the need for people to travel for work, education or shopping. Nowhere in the essay were you asked to make suggestions about how to solve the traffic problem. The way that you responded to the essay will show the reviewer that you do not understand simple English instructions, which is the first and most important point of scoring in this essay. English comprehension skills are of the utmost importance in passing this test. |
*Merged:* ## IELTS TASK 1 TELEPHONE CALLS
HI EVERY ONE !Can you help me with my work ?
google =number+of+telephone+ielts+task+1: it is no way I can coppy the image please fowwloww thes
The bar chart indicates the figure of time spent in billions of minutes by UK people on phone calls, namely local -fixed line, national and international- fixed line and mobiles between 1995 and 2002. The comparison of three categories will be shown in next paragraphs.
The proportion of minutes which people in the UK spent on telephone calls had considerably varied movement. While the number for mobiles and national and international -fixed line increased steadily over a period of 7 years, local calls leaped from 1995 to 1999 and dropped from 1999 to 2002. The lowest figure on the chart was for mobiles and the highest number was for local- fixed line.
In 1995, around 70 billion minutes were used for local calls, compared to about 35 billion minutes of national and international calls and 5 billion minutes of mobiles. In 1999, people preferred using fixed line for local calls. The data illustrated that amount of time which was spent on local calls by UK people reached the highest point at almost 90 billion minutes. The possible reason for this change is that maybe local telephone's fee became chip. Mobiles and national/international land line still went up enormously.
In 2002, minutes of national/international and mobile calls stood around at 60 and 55 billion minutes. Potentially due to UK people started to spread their market, associate and invest in another countries. By contrast, the minutes of local calls plunged at the figure they began in 1995, ate around 70 billion.
* | Don't bother creating another thread. since you already posted the essay here. Just include the image in your next post in this thread for the benefit of the others who may want to help you improve your work.You get suspended for violations like not giving good advice (useless comments), plagiarism, not using a creative title for your post, advertising, and creating multiple accounts. Those are just a few of the violations that often result in suspension of accounts. So if you post your essay and include the image, which in this case, did not want to enlarge, I don't see why having borrowed it from another thread would be considered a violation. To make sure though, you can ask the admin of the forum if that is a violation. That is something only they can be sure about. Just make sure that next time, you upload an image that came directly from you. As long as we can enlarge it, you will be fine. There will be a problem if you post your essay without the image included. Don't ask the students and contributors here to access outside links either. That is something that the admin does not advise for computer safety reasons. |
## to get married earlier or not?
According to the social development, while more and more people are choosing a FA life, some people are still want to get marriage in early adulthood. While I accept that there are difficulties and benefits in the marriage of young adults, I would argue that it is better to marry until they have more social experiences.
The option to marry in young adults is adventageous to some extent. They don't have to waste time and money for going out while home-made food is easy-to-make, cheaper and healthier. In addition, they have a balance status about romance and sex. As a result, they will feel more enthusiastic to work hard for their future. Furthermore, physically, the 18-25 period has the best qualify in fertilization.
On the other hand, it seems to me that the young adults' marriages may have trouble in the future. Firstly, they are immature in solving common problems in marriage, in which new-born babies are big ones. Secondly, their family budget may be uncertain as they have just graduated high school or university. If they want to afford a family with at least two person, they may need theirs parents help. Thirdly, couples have less time for their profession which leads to decrease the country's GDP.
In conclusion, I believe the marriage should be gotten provided that couples' experiences and skills have improved, in a late adulthood. | Ngoc, what exam are you writing this for? Please provide the name of the exam and the complete prompt for this essay so that I can judge the type of response that you gave for relevance. In terms of this current work, even without knowing the actual prompt, I can tell that this is badly written and rushed in development. The evidence of the rushed development can be found in the inaccurate format that you used and lack of properly developed reasoning in the second paragraph. The paragraphs must be divided by topic discussion and also, the essay requires a properly developed conclusion at the end. Right now, this essay sounds like it was written when you did not have the time to write a practice test. Please don't do that. Take the time to write a proper essay, within expected prompt parameters. It is difficult to actually give your essay a score due to the lack of exam identification and prompt instructions. I will be able to offer you points for improvement once I know about the currently missing requirements. |
**Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides and give your personal view.**
## zoos - fun for humans, harm for animals?
Zoos are still the artificial environments where people visit to undergo the feeling of being in the short-term contact with the wildlife. While some people argue that it is cruel to keep them in such captivities, however, I believe that, it is beneficial for both the animals and the humans.
On the one hand, zoos are considered as safe and peaceful places in some respects. In the wild, there are great probabilities that most animals can lose their natural habitat, or be killed by other animals. This is more beneficial particularly for endangered animals, which in turn can contribute to the ecosystem. Apart from this, as the natural places where animals can be very dangerous for the lives of human beings, most of us would not have the chance to encounter other living creatures without the presence of zoos.
On the other hand, there are many who doubt the wholesomeness of the existence of zoos. As living in the limited space, the animals can suffer mentally and physically. For example, repetitive disorders and eating disorders seem in the zoo animals more frequently. Apart from not being healthy, some argue that zoos are unethical as they do not have the right to exploiting animals with the intention of making money. They also suggest that the best way to saving endangered animals is protecting their natural habitats.
In conclusion, it seems to me that despite some negative sides, zoos have noticeable advantages for animals, as well as humans, as long as their rights and comforts are preserved. | Adam, you have to work on providing the complete prompt summary in overview form. That seems to be a regular problem in all of your essays. In this one, you neglected to present both points of view again, prior to presenting your opinion on the matter. While it is alright to stand in the middle this time, since you are not being asked to take one side in particular for the discussion, you still needed to represent both sides in the summary overview. The examiner doesn't need the definition of a zoo. What he needed to read, was how well you understood and could represent the prompt requirements in the essay opening statement. You have points lost for that.
Additional points were lost when you decided to make a misrepresentation of the pro and con discussion of the facts by making it appear that these opinions were your own. When you are asked to discuss both sides, you have to make sure that the readers know that you are representing a public opinion in the discussion first. Your personal opinion does not come until the second to the last paragraph of the essay.
Then, you lost more points because you decided to discuss your personal opinion on the given topic within the concluding paragraph. As a hard rule of academic writing, which is what the IELTS test is, no writer is allowed to present an opinion or additional information in the concluding paragraph. As the title of the paragraph indicates, it is the end (conclusion) of the discussion. Therefore, all of the facts and assertions have to be made in the earlier paragraphs. The concluding statement is a mere recap of all that was discussed and presented in the essay.
Based upon the problems that I observed within your response essay, I am confident that you would not be able to score higher than a 5 overall. The score was weighted down by the problems in task accuracy, which is a major factor in scoring these essays. |
***Hi EF,
I was asked to draft a letter of recommendation for Chevening application by my former Project Manager. Input from you will be welcomed.***
The reference should cover the following:
1) How long have you known the applicant?
2) In what capacity do you know the applicant? (e.g. professional, educational, supervisory, voluntary, religious)
3) When you last had regular contact with the applicant?
4) A brief overall endorsement of the applicant.
## she will be an asset to your program
It is with great confidence that I write this letter of recommendation on behalf of Sehat Dinati Simamora.
In my capacity as her former Project Manager of APINDO (The Employer's Association of Indonesia)-EU ACTIVE (Advancing Indonesia's Civil Society in Trade and Investment), a highly respected project for preparation Comprehensive Economic Parnetship Agreement (CEPA) between EU-Indonesia, I have supervised Sehat's work directly since she joined us in February until November, 2014. Until now, Sehat and I stay keep contact because even though we are not working on the same project anymore, our current jobs are still related on economics and development areas. Therefore, we still meet often with our former team to discuss current issues and also update each other's work as a mean of knowledge sharing. Hence, it is appropriate in this letter of recommendation to review Sehat's contributions to our project.
Since the first day of her tenure with us, Sehat has demonstrated an exceptional ability to grasp the rigorous demands of the job. A Junior Economist at APINDO-EU ACTIVE Project must undertake research on and analysis of the needs and strategies of business sector in Indonesia, conduct policy oriented research and develop relevant policy recommendation on issues on a range of topics (trade issues, investment, services, and barriers to competitiveness, logistics and transport and capacity building requirements for business), assist in the preparation of negotiating positions and submissions to Government of Indonesia, prepare presentations and policy position papers for the APINDO Board in cooperation with the Public Outreach and Media Officer, work with member survey information and economic data for the APINDO Board and for the publication, and participate in capacity building programs for small-medium-enterprises for certain sectors in regions (Medan, Semarang, Surabaya, and Jakarta). Beyond the complex policy and economic analysis that Sehat has performed in our team, she showed a distinct learning skill, determination towards perfection, unquestionable passion in industrial and environmental economics. Among Sehat's two strongest attributes is her communication skills, and she demonstrates a balance of a pure scientist and marketer with her personal and intellectual qualities.
Sehat often became the assistant Shinta Widjaja Kamdani (APINDO Board who is also the President of Indonesia Business Council for Sustainable Development) in preparing presentation materials and attending the relevant national and international forums for sustainable development. It gave Sehat great opportunities to learn many things and meet key figures that related to sustainable development movement in Indonesia. I am convinced this network will be very useful and certainly utilized by Sehat in her career as an economist and policy makers in the future.
Sehat was also responsible for handling capacity building for SMEs businessmen for coffee, cacao, textiles and textile products, footwear, furniture, handicrafts, shrimp, tuna and other seafood products. She was in charged for the content material presented by speakers and led the survey for the participants that related to industry conditions. Within the framework of capacity building, Sehat prepared two market brief market about the strategies of exporting to the EU as a guide for SMEs to exports and/or to increase their exports.
Here, I saw Sehat's personal, intellectual, and interpersonal qualities. Months before the event, Sehat took advantage of her networking to collect SMEs data in various cities. After gained, she had to contact and convince them to participate in this capacity building. With a wide variety of backgrounds of participants, Sehat showed an excellent interpersonal qualities in dealing with the SMEs' employers who are far more senior than her either before or during the activity. She could be flexible in leading the participants to attend each session and mediated debates that took place during the discussions when needed.
In summary, Sehat is well-suited to study in a graduate program aboard. She has not only the capability, but also the motivatioin to succeedd. Consequently, I am confident that Sehat will be an asset to your program and I recommend to you in the highest terms. | Sehat, keep the continued balance in your referral letters. Always present one professional and one extra curricular / socio-civic recommendation. That way you present your well rounded personality to the reviewer and allow him to see how you function both in and out of the office, in differing scenarios. If possible, highlight the international communities that you work with and how you handled the projects with them so you can prove that you have what it takes to survive studying abroad. The main concern of the letter is how well you will be able to handle yourself once you are left to your own devices in a foreign land. That is why they want to know about those 4 aspects of your character traits. If possible, use only one, big, and impressive project to relay all of the required information that can be most impressive to the reviewer. |
(any comments will be highly appreciated)
## The longevity and science
**Science will help people live longer. Some people think that it is good development, while others think it may cause problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.**
Recent decades have seen an obvious increase in the life-span of human being as the science is gaining momentum. However, while someone argue that this change might bring us many risks, others, including myself, believe that this is of great benefit to human being.
It is certainly true that the increase of life-expectancy reflects the progress of civilization of human being. To begin, nearly everyone has the desire to live longer, as everyone's life is only once, living longer means people could have more time to explore this world better or just enjoy the quality time with families. Therefore, long life-span will cater to people's high demand of living longer. Moreover, it is sometimes true that longer life-span means more values, especially for those talented person. For example , if Einstein could live longer, our world might be a little bit more different in terms of physics.
Nevertheless, the increase of human's life-span has not all been beneficial to our societies. The first problem is connected with aging society. We would be confronted with problem of the distribution of social resources, e.g. national pension, social welfare. Meanwhile, several heavy industries might suffer from the lack of labor force. In addition, people will find difficult to support their parents, grandparents or even great-parents, it particularly hold true for those single-child families.
From what have been mentioned, it is fair to conclude that living longer for human being will beneficial to not only individuals but society. Although, it might generate many negative effect, I am convinced that those problems must be addressed. | Hi Jing, I will admit that this is one of the better developed essays that I have come across in the forum for the IELTS writing task 2 practice tests. In fact, even though there are one or two problem points in the way that you developed the essay, your presentation and clear discussion could probably still help you score anywhere between a 6 and 7 in the actual test. What problems do I speak of?
First and foremost, you use the term e.g. (exempli gratia) in the essay. That is an abbreviation that you should not use in formal academic writing. Specially during an English language based exam. No abbreviations, slang words, or writing shortcuts must be used. In academic writing, the best way to say this would simply have been to use the actual term "for example".
The next problem with your essay is that is does not use easily identifiable examples to illustrate your points. For example, you used Einstein and physics to prove the benefits of living longer. However, Einstein and Physics belong to a field that does not have any obvious benefits to the regular reader. So using another example, from popular culture would have been best. Something like "Computers may have continued to evolve better if Steve Jobs had lived longer", or something along those lines.
Basically, you did a good job in responding to the prompt. The mistakes you make can easily be avoided in your future writing tests. Keep up the good work. You are doing very well. |
Q)
**Some people believe that Unites States places more importance on the sight and sound media (film, television, radio and so on) than on the printed word. Present your views, either agreeing or disagreeing that reading has become less significant to Americans.**
A)
With the advancement in technology, we have become accustomed towards sight and sound media i.e films,television, radio, etc but that doesn't means that the printed words hold less importance to people in United States. I agree, though the means of reading has changed but the number of readers has not decreased relatively. These days, people use emails over the old traditional way of writing letters and telegrams, e-news over newspapers, e- brochures over pamphlets and brochures, etc but they use the words for expression though in a new version.
People prefer to read the content using the digital media like i pad, tablet, laptops, etc rather than the old traditional form like novels or newspapers. I agree to the fact that with the advancement in the digital media, prospective readers might have decreased as people find it much convenient to watch a movie instead of reading a novel. On the other hand, the novel limits a person's imagination whereas if a person reads same novel rather than watching the film, the readers have a very different perspective about the story than the viewers of the film. The reader is able to imagine the character and the acts according to his/her own imagination whereas the imagination of the viewers gets restricted. Reading is like an addiction to the people who like to read. People who have a habit of reading are committed to reading so much that they give first priority to reading over other things. I travel in Bart daily and I see most of the people have two things in hand, one is they have a cup of coffee and the other is a novel or a newspaper or a kindle or a tablet for reading. I feel that 90% of the people travelling through Bart utilize their traveling time by reading and enhancing their vocabulary and imagination. Even at the airport, one can see that every two person from five are reading. Another good example is of "Game of Thrones" (GoT). There are a series of television serials made from the books and their are many readers who first read the novel and then they watch the television series.
Thus generalizing and believing that the people in United States pay more importance to visual and sound media will be very unfair for the people who still devote unconditional time to reading and writing. | Kaur, while you have written a prompt responsive essay this time, you made a glaring error in the grammar range and accuracy portion of the test. You failed to capitalize the words Kindle and Ipad in your essay. Since these are proper nouns. as they are the titular name of objects, you must capitalize them. These are titular names because the item carries the same brand name as the description of the item. Therefore, the capitalization rules apply. Always be conscious of the commonly known rules regarding grammar. These are the capitalization rules, punctuation guidelines, and pronoun usage. Once you use those 3 properly throughout your essay, you will increase your chances of improving your overall test score as well. |
Here are my practice on IELTS task one writing.
Hope you guys could give me a little help on it.
**The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**
## the new shopping place for Garlsdon citizens
Answer:
This figure illustrates the constructure of the town of Garlsdon in which the amount of people is 65000 and there are two main roads and a railway.
As we can see, there are two supermarket in the town. The town is composed by 4 different region, countryside, housing, industry, and the town centre from outside to inside order.
Looking at closely, there is one supermarket in the countryside which is the boarder of the two. The other supermarket is in the center of the town surrounded by the industry region. Finally, the housing parts are between the industry region and countryside.
There are three town nearby, Hidon, Bransdon, and Cransdon. Hidon is 12 km far from Garlsdon in the west-norht. The town of Bransdon is 16 km far from Garlsdon in the west-south. In the end, ransdon is 25 km away from here in the west-north.
*
*The map* | Ho, the results of this essay could be no higher than a 3 for you. There are simply too much left over information in the map that you failed to represent in the essay. This map clearly required an analysis of how the creation of a second supermarket would benefit the community. That is why there was information related to the number of kilometers it would take for the residents of each town to get to each supermarket. While you did present the information about the road kilometers in the essay, you failed to analyze it properly in reference to the actual meaning of the drawings. Therefore, you only represented the information as it appeared in the illustration. The lack of analysis and further development of the presented information on your part held back the possible high score that you could have gotten for this essay.
Each part of the essay should have been mentioned in relation to the number of residents, the distance of the first supermarket from each town, and an analysis as to whether or not the creation of a second supermarket would have been beneficial to the residents of the towns indicated. Keep in mind that the second supermarket is still being planned. In your essay, you make it sound as if the supermarket is already in existence. So you misunderstood the instructions, as well as the map illustrations. |
## energy from Carbohydrates
I would like some help on advice on the writing, language and give some suggestions for improvement and paraphrasing a bit more on the introduction of a literature review on effect of pre-exercise carbohydrate feeding on endurance performance.
Here is the introduction:
Carbohydrates are one of the main fuel sources of energy. Carbohydrates are made of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen molecules part of the hydroxyl group. Carbohydrates can be classified as monosaccharides: glucose and fructose, disaccharides: sucrose and polysaccharides. Energy is required for muscle contraction and ATP is the molecule that enables muscle contraction (Baker et al, 2010). Carbohydrates are the best use of ergogenic aid by athletes when reported by carbohydrate reserves (Cemark & Loon, 2013; Pochmuller et al, 2016). Carbohydrates are important in metabolism ...... Research has clarified that carbohydrate ingestion before exercise can improve exercise performance and delay fatigue.
Studies from Cemark & Loon (2013) and Temaris et al (2011) reported that carbohydrate ingestion during exercise focused on pre-exercise feeding on a few hours before endurance exercise. kerebeth (2010) & Jeukendrup & Keller (2010) limited their focus on short duration >10 mins, high intensity exercise activities- muscle glycogen depletion will not be limiting during exercise (Burke et al, 2011) lasting longer than 60 mins.
Feeding carbohydrates before 30 minutes result in improved high-intensity exercise compared with feeding 2 hours before exercise that size reflect pre-exercise glucose synthesis.
Review focuses in background on carbohydrate feeding on performance, pre exercise carbohydrate feeding, previous literature on carbohydrate feedings at timings of 30 mins, 1 hr and 2 hours. Possibly explore the oral carbohydrate sensing will be discussed. | Amanda, make the second paragraph the first paragraph instead. The actual topic paragraph is located in the second paragraph. So that should be the opening statement of this literature review. If you reverse the positions of the current first and second paragraphs, you will create a stronger review. Another option to improve this review is if you totally remove the first paragraph from the presentation.
You don't have to define what makes up carbohydrates because the readers of the article are more than familiar with the components that create it. Focus instead on the effects of Carbohydrates on exercise performance. If you use just paragraphs 2,3, and 4, the literature overview becomes more interesting. Just expand upon the information in the short paragraphs in relation to your understanding of the overview in order to create a more concise literature review.
Right now, paragraphs 3 and 4 falls short in terms of delivering on information from the original article. Try to find more relevant information in the original article to include in the literature review. I have not read the original source but it seems to me that there is still more information to be taken from the original work for presentation in the literature overview. The more information you present, the less redundancies and need for paraphrasing you will have.
Unfortunately, what you are asking us to do for you is the partial research content for your paper. Which is not what we do here. As you can see, we have already offered you advice as to how you can best reformat the paper to suit your needs. That is what we do. We offer advice and guidance. We do not offer topic sentences to complete your work or any other area of writing that serves to make us do the work for you. We are not a writing service. If that is the service that you need then you are at the wrong place / forum. We are here to help you make your writing better and we do it for free. That means you still do the legwork in terms of research and actual writing. We merely help you improve what you have already done or correct any mistakes you made.
So as far as your topical sentences and the rest of your essay goes, you have to do that yourself because you are the only one who knows the background of your research, its related information, and the ultimate outcome of your research. As such, you should not find it difficult to deliver personally on the topical sentences because this is all part of the preliminary research that you did when you chose this literature to review. |
## Moving out means losing friends?
Based on their personal beliefs, some people might say that we should not move to a new city or country because we will lose our old friendships. However, I strongly believe that if you move to a new city, you can maintain your friendships and make them stronger. Let me explain why.
Firstly, living away from your friends is a great opportunity for your friendships to grow. We can think about the relationship sincerely when we are apart from each other. Often, distance makes the heart grow fonder. For example, when I stayed with my girlfriend in Vancouver, I used to happily recall the good times that I spent with my old friends from middle school and high school. My friends also experienced the same thing. So, we tried to talk and care for each other more often.
Secondly, distance can help a relationship grow stronger. This is because there are a lot of things that we can share with each other, such as politics and culture. If we stay in one city our entire life, we may not have anything fun or interesting to share. Also, we can inform each other about current events. For example, if one of my friends is curious about the reaction regarding the prime minister of Canada, then, I can accurately inform them right away. So it's more beneficial for us. According to the study conducted by Harvard University, the more people who move to another city or country, the more their relationships with old friends become stronger.It reveals that distance is not an important factor to maintain or make our friendships stronger.
In conclusion, moving to a new city or country allows us to not only maintain our old friendships, but also gives us the opportunity to deepen our relationships by making our friendships stronger. | The full prompt for the essay dictates that you either agree or disagree with the statement provided. Therefore, you have to consider which side of the statement you believe to be true and choose to discuss that. Keep in mind that you need to be able to provide examples or reasons that are valid for your decision to either agree or disagree so pick the side that you can best discuss. There is no need to add an opposing point of view in the discussion because that is not required by the prompt instructions. Just provide the information being asked for. Do not add information that is not required because that will result in points deduction for you. The TOEFL test is very specific when it comes to its requirements and the points deductions are massive in the end so one simple mistake in the presentation of information, such as presenting information not required, could have unexpected consequences for your final score. |
**The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.**
## the prestige of fame
Some people argue that the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than there are to older people. this is because they tend to follow celebrities. Others assert that is not true because affect of opinions of celebrities are equal to young people and older people because they are both independent existences to judge. However, I think opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people who haven't decided their major and haven't enough knowledge to criticize celebrities's opinion. Let me explain in details.
First, the opinions of celebrities can affect to young people who haven't decide their major. This is because their appearance and opinion are really powerful specifically to young people. For example, when I was a high school student at the time many celebrities mentioned how cook is so cool job and how amazing job it is. Also, a lot of them acclaim the cooks who made fabulous dishes in a Television. So, I decided to major in cooking asian food and in hindsight, the reason that I chose was the affect of the opinions of celebrities.
Second, young people aren't enough to able to criticize opinions of celebrities. They tend to believe and follow socially renowned and familiar celebrities. A study was conducted by Tim Rath, the professor, Harvard Social Psychology Behavior Department to understand why many young people follow celebrities than others. The result says that more than 70percentage of the subject who are teenagers follow celebrities. This is because they have a tendency to believe the people they all know. Also, They rely on the people who are familiar like celebrities. These play a vital role for young people to trust mentions of renowned people.
In conclusion, affects of opinions of celebrities are powerful for young people who haven't decided their major and haven't enough background to criticize. | Asol, once again, I will remind you to please post the complete instructions for your essay prompt. Do not use the prompt instruction for your title. That will eventually result in your suspension from the forum. Please post the complete prompt instructions in the message box along with your response essay. Without the complete instructions, I am unable to judge if this is an opinion essay or what. While I can guess what it is that you are supposed to do in this essay, the other students and contributors here may not be familiar with the instructions. In order to make sure that everyone can participate in helping you improve your writing skills, you need to post the complete prompt, not just the topic sentence.
This essay, is an opinion statement that should clearly reflect whether you agree or disagree with the statement. The summary overview that you provided does not reflect your agreement or disagreement. All you had to say was "I fully agree" or "I completely disagree with the statement" in the summary introduction in order to properly complete the paraphrased summary portion.
Based on the prompt requirements, there is no way that you can score higher than a 1. That means that your response to the prompt is questionable because the line of discussion dictated in the instructions were not followed in the response presented. There are also serious problems in the grammar development of the essay that really makes it difficult for the reader to understand what you mean without doing multiple readings. Aside from that, you do not base all of your reasons on well known facts or popular opinion. You actually did research in order to complete the task. Something that you will not be allowed to do in an actual test. So do not do research when you do your succeeding practice tests. |
**Housing shortages in big cities cause great social consequences. Some think only governments action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?**
## concern over housing crisis
Nowadays overpopulation and crowding of large cities are considered a big problem in the world. In fact, to get a space in the city, needs deep pockets and labourous search to find an ideal place to live in.There are so many reasons closely linked to this issue, Some think that government is a major player in tackling housing crisis. Before explaining my suggestion , l propose a wider range of opinion on the subject matter.
Clearly, increasing density of population correlates to the job opportunities and having livelihood in the big cities. It seems to be one of the biggest factors of having inadequate places to live in. Finding a carefully thought of a solution needed to deal with as so many students coming to study from different countries. They need accomodation to stay in during their period of study.
As far as i am concerned, dealing with this issue needs a great help from government. Providing a wide range of council houses for the dwellers, in the cities are very beneficial to solve the housing shortcome. As well as reacommodating student halls, factories, and large companies to the outskirts of the cities and towns, which generally, influences the expansion of housing for a wider variety of people.
In addition, increasing the price of rent by the house owners should be given a mention. Price cap should at least to be considered to control rent in those affected areas. Also make sure that landlords comply with it.
In conclusion, the concern over housing crises is a ligitimate one. It does need the government support, by allocating a great budget and imposing some rules that can at least steady the housing crisis. | Rozhnaz, you would have gotten a score no higher than a 3 in this essay. The reason for that is that you totally went against the prompt requirements and in the process, ended up changing the topic for discussion that you were expected to present. You were merely asked to either agree or disagree with the given statement.
In such an essay, all you have to do is pick a side and present some supporting evidence to help justify your opinion. Nowhere in the prompt are you being asked to present an expanded opinion of the essay prompt. Therefore, you clearly misunderstood the prompt instructions and as such, cannot be given a passing score for any of the criteria involved in the scoring process. You cannot possibly get a passing score in the other aspects when you failed to properly address the task in the first place.
To top it off, rather than simply restating the prompt requirements in the summary opening statement, you decided to present an opinion in that portion. As you know, the opening statement is only meant to test your English comprehension skills. You are expected to explain what you understand of the prompt and then explain how you will discuss the topic based on the instructions of the prompt. the opinions or additional information should only be seen in the body of the paragraph.
Due to all of the mistakes that you made in the development of this essay, I really do not see how you can score any higher with this work that you produced. |
## the importance of different kind of music
Nowadays, people have a variety of different musical styles to listen. Listening music have turned into indispensable part of a life for a wide range of reasons, and I would argue that traditional music outweighs the international music.
The reasons why this activity have become the necessity comes from our childhood, as most kids enjoy listening music. As a result, in their later life, they have a tendency to consider the music as an essential tool which cheers them up. Apart from the type of entertainment, in most countries, listening music is regarded as an effective method to contribute learning process ranging from different languages to basic skills. Music is also an integral part of typical adult's life. Due to the fact that music can express and arouse our feelings which we cannot explain with words, most people see it as a need of the soul.
In the light of increasing presence of the international music, some people think the traditional music used up its time. I completely disagree with this idea, as the traditional music carry more meanings than the international music such as the culture or history of the country. It can easily be understood the traditions or lifestyles of the people in early days just by listening such kinds of music. On the other hands, the international music is a commercial product, so put more emphasis on catchy notes rather than meaningful words. It will be so disappointing if one day the traditional music disappears from the music lists because of growing popularity of the pop music.
In conclusion, music cannot be substituted by any other activity for aforementioned reasons, I restate that traditional music is more valuable than new types of international music because of the hidden meanings behind it. | Adam, do not aim for the minimum 3 sentences for the introductory paragraph. The more sentences you have, the better your possible score for the task and grammar accuracy portion. Aim for the maximum 5 sentences per paragraph. That is the best way to increase the possibility of your score. Using the maximum sentence requirement per paragraph gives you a chance to develop more complex sentences and also prove your English fluency in the written medium. Anyway, here is how you can write an effective 3 sentence opening statement for this particular prompt.
*Due to the prevalence of various musical styles these days, people wonder if music is really necessary in our lives. If it is really necessary, then which type should we listen to? The traditional music that one grew up hearing in his country or the international music that seems prevalent these days?* |
Here is my practice on IELTS task 2 writing.
Hope you guys could give me a little help on it.
**Write about the following topic:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.**
## Competitiveness or cooperativeness?
Nowadays, many concern that children should compete each other in someways, while some other suggest that children need to be taught to co-operate. In my point of view, these two ways to educate the young are both important in different situation.
I believe that when children accomplish a task as a a group, they can acquire some abilities of communication, improve the skill of being a leader, and learn to interact with other properly. For example, in class we need to report a presentation in a group. We have to divide the task to a small one, then assign it to each member. In this case, we need to find everyone's specialties and debate when should we have a meeting or a deadline. Everyone should work hard for the group not for itself, and consider the result of one's laziness or arrogance.
On the other hand, it is also very effective method for children to have motivation to improve skills by competition. Though the system of racing with other people, children would have more awareness that "Others are better,so I need to catch up on them." For example,in a basketball team there are only five people who can be on the court. So when you have a chance, you will not just let it go, and if you can not be called, you must will practice harder to improve your skills.
In short, each teaching technique has its reason to make every child more skillful, useful, and even better in their future. | Ho, you once again failed to understand the prompt requirements. You turned a comparison and opinion essay into a purely opinion essay instead. The prompt clearly states that you are to discuss both sides and then give your opinion. The resulting paragraphs would have produced a total of 5 paragraphs. You only have 2 complete paragraphs and two sentence lines. Obviously, you will not pass this exam because of the big mistake in the discussion style. I predict that you will not get higher than a 4 in this instance. You must always double check the prompt requirements before you submit the essay. Make sure that the instructions for the discussion are completely followed. You always neglect to check yourself before submission. If you continue to submit essays without double checking the content and prompt requirements during the practice test, the chances are that you will make the same mistake in the actual test, which would result in you failing the all important test. Do not be careless. Be careful and treat the practice tests like the actual test. There is a reason that it is called a practice test. This allows you to make mistakes that you can learn from in order to improve your weak points before the actual test. |
***The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.***
## pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers - which are more preferable among teens?
The figure illustrates the number of three kinds of fast food (pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers) which were consumed by Australian youth from 1975 to 2000. Unit are measured in number of times eaten per year.
Overall, the consumption of fish and chips decreased over period given, while for pizza and hamburgers, they rose. At the start of the period, fish and chips was the most popular junk food, which was replaced by hamburgers from 1985 to 2000, and followed by pizza became the second most widely consumed fast food since 1990 until 2000. With regards to the amount of fish and chips eaten, it peaked at around 100 portions per year in 1975 before falling sharply to about 41 portions per year in 2000. Likewise, approximately 15 pieces of hamburgers were consumed in the first year after which the figure rocketed, climbed minimally, and remained constant 100 pieces from 1995 to 2000. On the other hand, the consumption of pizza only started in 1975 at nearly 10 slices. This graph, which increased sharply and stabilised over 80 slices since 1995 until 2000.
In brief, as it presented in the line graph, number of times pizza and hamburgers eaten was a dramatically increasing in 2000 compared to 1975, while eaten number of fish and chips is dropped gradually from 1975 to 2000.
* | Sehat in the opening statement. Do not put the food choices in a parenthesis. These are integral parts of the information provided in the line graph and should therefore, be represented in a completely developed sentence as well. Now, with 223 words, you are well within the limits of the word requirement.
Congratulations on being able to write more than the 150 word minimum in a manner that showcases your writing abilities and analytical skills. Word of caution though, make sure to use the correct plural form for words. For instance, "unit" should have been written as "'units" because it pertains to a high number of food consumers, hence the plural form.
By the way, your second paragraph is running too long. You have to divide that into 2 statements in order to make easier to read and avoid stressing out the reader due to the lack of spaces between sentences. You could have easily developed a very interesting 4 paragraph statement. However, doing so would have required you to create more interesting paragraphs. Which means you would have to analyze the data more in order to write pertinent information for the reader. I know, it sounds difficult, but if you pull it off, you will end up impressing the examiner because of your task accuracy and grammar range accomplishments. Overall, not a bad essay. It might get a 5 easily in the actual test scenario. |
The prompt says: the graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries
The line graph illustrates a percentage of the variation of old people, who are above than 65 years, in japan, Sweden, and the USA from 1940 to 2040.
## elder population statistics
Based on a survey, the graph was divided into 2 parts. Firstly, while the figure of the elderly in Sweden and USA from 1940 to 2016 increased steadily, the population of aged 65 or more in Japan had unpredicted changed. However, from 2020 to 2040, the percentage of the USA and Swedish people is expected to go up dramatically while Japanese people leaps enormously.
In 1940, around 9 % the USA elderly aged 65 and over, while in Japan and Sweden about 5 % and 7%. In 1990, the proportion of the old in Sweden overtook the USA. By contrast, the percentage in Japan decreased seriously about 4%. In 2030, some people expect that the percentage of Japanese population aged 65 and over will go up hugely with rapid speed.
In 2040, it is thought that around 26% of the Japanese population will be 65 years old or more while the percentage of Sweden and USA will be slightly lower. The graph showed us seriously the number of old people, which is increasing gradually. It can have a bad impact on world' economy because of the lack of young employees. | To, you need to provide the graph so that I can confirm the accuracy of the information you are providing. Read the first paragraph and you will see that you are short of the standard paragraph requirement. That simply means that your overview summary is lacking but I am unable to detect the missing information due to the lack of the graph. Watch out for your typing errors. Do not be careless. Remember that all proper nouns are capitalized so you cannot have Japan spelled with a small j as you do now. While the rest of the paragraphs seem to be well informed, I am unsure as to the quality of information provided. Please provide the prompt as soon as you can so that I can compare the data with the graph. You know the rules, we can't help you if we can't see the information. |
Prompt: **summarize the article in one sentence within 70 words.**
## IT divides society
*For those political analysts whose main interest remains class divisions in society the biggest split these days is that between those who control and work with informational technology (IT) and those we might still call blue-collar workers. (...)*
**Summary sentence:**
*Due to information technology development in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, the society can be divided into two classes today, people who work with information technology and blue-collar workers, which is completely different from the old class divisions in the past.* | Ethan, my take on your paragraph can be found below composed of 71 words. This paragraph is a bit complicated to paraphrase in only 75 words due to the numerous important information involved. So you have to learn how to combine the information into a continuous thought pattern such as the one I developed below. This takes lots of practice and even then, is a bit difficult to do because of the exam time constraints involved. So to complete this in the actual scenario, you need to be able to relax yourself and actually allow yourself time to think rather than panic and keep watching the clock. That is how you will fail this part of the test. Just breathe, relax, analyze, take notes, and write. Try to keep a clear head at all times.
*17th and 18th century society was divided by experimentation based on practical experiments that led to economic rise, 20th century society was dvided based on IT and blue-collar workers, while the 21st century is economically and socially divided based on information technology along with the need to analyze and solve business and social problems, resulting in the creation of a unique type of economic and social class yet to be named.* |
**The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**
## fluctuation of spendings
The three pie charts illustrate how the proportion of annual expenditure was changed in a UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Overall, what stands out from the graph is that the biggest expenditure was on teachers' salaries throughout the 20 years, while insurance stayed on the lowest spending. Another interesting point is that there was a huge invest in furniture and equipment from 1991 to 2001.
Looking at the details, in 1981, 40% of total school expenditure was on teachers' salaries and in 1991, it considerably increased by 10%. Afterwards it slightly decreased to 45% in 2001, but still remained on first place. In terms of insurance, there was only 2% and 3% of expenditure in 1981 and 1991 respectively. However, it surged from 3% in 1991 to 8% in 2001.
With regards to furniture and equipment, by 1991 there was a drop by 10%, from 15% to 5%. However, it significantly rose by 18%, reaching 23% and ranked the second biggest expenditure in 2001.
* | Jens, while you wrote 166 words for this essay, which is above the minimum requirement, that was not enough to gain you a final score higher than a 4 overall. That is because the information that you presented in the summary is incomplete. For starters, your overview summary did not represent all of the required points based on the pie chart segment titles. Those classifications were a necessary part of the summary. Then, you presented the pie chart information incorrectly in your body. Since there were 3 charts, there should have been 3 individual presentations for each pie chart prior to the overall comparisons that you presented. The individual chart presentations would have better delivered the measurements in expenses per chart, thus creating a more comprehensive summary report on your part. This essay is a good effort though. There is still room for improvement and I am sure I will see those improvements over time. Keep writing. You can only get better from here. |
Hi I am practicing on IELTS and I got this prompt:
The prompt says: **the graph below shows the average number of UK commuters traveling each day by car, bus, or train between 1970 and 2030.**
## English people traveling on roads in UK
The line graph illustrates amount of UK employee transporting every day by three different vehicles such as a car, bus and train from 1970 to 2030.
It is clear that car is the most popular transportation over a period of 60 years. While the number of people who use car and train increase steadily, the number of bus users reduce dramatically.
In 1970, the proportion of people using the car in the UK was about 5,5billion. The figures for train and bus were lower, at about 2 and 4billion. In 2000, whereas the number of commuters who used car and train showed an upsurge, the bus went down a lot. In 2011, the number of workers who used the train as same as the bus user and get over the next years. However, the estimate of the car still stood in the first position.
By 2030, those people who are driving to work by car expected to reach 9 billion and the number of train user is around 5 billion. In contrast, buses are predicted to fall 3 million.
* | You find below my example of a more properly developed overview summary statement. It includes an analysis of the information provided and offers an outline for the upcoming paragraph discussions.Please note that this is only an example of how I would write the overview summary. Others may approach the overview in a different way. Therefore, you have to develop your own overview writing style based upon my example and the example from others who might also offer you some suggestions regarding how to best write a summary overview.
*The information provided in the line graph pertains to commuters in the UK. The graph indicates the amount of commuter use by the millions of travelers for various transport services. The specific transport services included in the graph are the car, bus, and train. The comparisons provided cover a yearly period starting from 1970 up to the 2000's, and includes a projection of commuters for the year 2020 up to the year 2030.* |
**Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.**
## doing appetizing meals quickly
Evolution of humans ideology has improved the standards of living and food habits. Preparation of delicious cuisine has become an easy process to humans due to their enduring consequent efforts. Eventually, communities of every country have adopted to the food habits based on the available sources and enhance the ways to cook food briskly.
Recently, humans have invented enumerated tools like Gas, and Electric stoves, Microwave ovens, toasters and so forth. These are helpful to prepare delicious items in quick time. In addition, plenty of spices, ingredients are readily available over the market to use in the favourite dishes which adds the taste to it. On the other side, although you are not a chef, you have a plenty of guidance given via online videos through which you can easily learn food preparation. Alongside that, inherited food lessons learned from our elders and ancestors at home is the primary reason through which continued, easier and enhanced food habits attained.
Every country has adopted to their food habits based on their available sources. Our ancestors have done enough research on food habits to have delicious, rich in nutrients and proteins. Humans are always fascinated and curious to try divergent feasibility to attain better quality food which has resulted to the effective lifestyle to humans.
In conclusion, Human instincts and ideology has improved the standards of living and has become easier for the next generations to prepare food in easier ways. | For example, when you said "humans have invented enumerated tools...", you created a confusing sentence because the correct development would have been "humans invented tools". I know that you listed the equipment in the sentence but saying enumerated in the sentence means to "list". The clarity of the sentence, in terms of meaning was affected. It became confusing. Another example, "Evolution of humans ideology" is wrong. Saying "The evolution of human life" is more proper. What exactly did you mean by " enduring consequent efforts,,," ? Consequent means to "follow as a result or effect." The meaning of this sentence causes stress for the reader because the point of discussion became confusing. There are a number of other notable errors in the essay but I think these examples will be sufficient for now. |
Should write 200-300 words on the prompt:
***"Age discrimination occurs when a decision is made on the basis of a person's age. In the workplace, these are most often decisions about being employed in the first place, winning promotions or being unfairly dismissed. Should discrimination against older workers be made illegal. "***
Please help review my essay below, thank you :)
## too old for this job or not?
Today, there are more and more age discrimination in the workpace, older workers are treated unfairly in a various ways. There are arguments about whether it is legal to discriminate older workers. As far as I am concerned, the country should set up law to make discrimination against older workers illegal. This essay will discuss about more details.
It is usually true people may get sluggish when getting older. However, whether one is capable for a job depends more on his/her skill set, attitude and ability, rather than simply the one's age. For certain jobs, it is not required to be prompt physically, such as financial accounting and teacher.
More over, older workers make great contribution to their company and are more experienced in their area. Firing older workers just because they are old is not wise. Experience is priceless, it can help the company to work better and can help new comers to grow rapidly. Lastly, age discrimination will cause negative effect on young workers, since they can forecast their unfair treatment in the future, they will lose passion on their job and become less dedicated.
Taking considered measures, it is critial to establish laws to make age discrimination illegal in order to protect older workers, and promote competing fairly in workplace according to one's capability. By doing so it will help the older workers and encourage people to be more engaged in the work he/she is doing. | Ethan, your score for this essay will be a 0. You were asked to discuss if age discrimination should be illegal. Not whether a law should be passed to make it illegal. There is a big difference between the two topics and I am afraid you got it confused.When you are asked if the practice of age discrimination should be made illegal, you are being asked for an opinion pertaining to the creation of a law. That is different from asking you if a law regarding age discrimination should be passed. What you discussed were the reasons that a law should be passed against it. Not whether it should be made illegal or not. You basically discussed something related to the topic provided, but not the actual topic you were instructed to discuss. I know the topic instructions may have confused you for some reason. You have to know that these confusing questions are common place when testing the English comprehension skills of an individual. It shows that you can analyze the requirements of a discussion presented to you and that you can accomplish the discussion accurately based upon a proper understanding of the discussion. . |
**Some people believe that global warming is the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment; others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?**
## Writing Task 2: Environment topic
Nowadays, many people are concerned about environment problems arising from global warming and deforestation. While global warming leads to severe impacts on our planet, I think that consequences of deforestation would be even more serious.
On the one hand, our planet has been suffering from several impacts of global warming. Firstly, global average temperature were rising continually recent decades, and it sometime was recorded above 50 degree in summer in some big cities. Number of low-income people cannot survive under this heatwaves, and so with wild animals. For example, polar bears living in sea ice are tracked declining in number because they cannot adapt with extended hot summer. Secondly, global warming results in the ice smelting at the poles which then lead to several effects such as extreme floods and storms. The flowing of salt water into lands make them inhabitable for native species and unable to cultivate for human. Finally, many dangerous diseases spread rapidly under warm weather, and they will cause widespread devastation.
On the other hand, I would argue that deforestation may be a more alarming problem. Forests have a critical role in absorbing greenhouse gases, which fuels global warming. In other words, removing the forests means that larger amount of carbon dioxins will enter the atmosphere and accelerate speed of global warming. Beside that forests are natural habitats for most species in the Earth, and they cannot survive if their homes are destroyed. Furthermore, deforestation also results in many problems such as air pollution, soil erosion and floods.
In conclusion, while global warming causes a lot of damage to our planet, it seems to me that potential consequences of deforestation would be more significant.
*278 words.*
Please help me correct this essay.
Thank you. | Rain, you should have place a period instead of a comma at the end of the second sentence in the opening statement because that stated a fact that did not have a continuing idea. Only continuing ideas require a comma to be used in the same sentence to connect the two thoughts.
Rather than saying "On the one hand" and "On the other hand", clearly state that you will be discussing the opinion being presented in the prompt. You have to be clear about that because your opinion is required to be presented as a separate paragraph instead of as a part of the two discussions. So some of the terms that you can use to indicate that you are discussing a prompt required topic is by saying, "The people who are of the opinion that...", "One of the thoughts regarding this situation is that...", then transition to the next required prompt by opening the next paragraph with "However, there are those who believe...", "Some believe that..." , "Others are of the opinion that...", "There is a contradictory thought that says..", just to show you a few examples of how to better respond to the required portion. After discussing the two opinions, you can then present your own opinion by saying "In my opinion..." , "I believe that...", "I support the idea that..." to show that you are owning your opinion and that the thoughts being presented are to be attributed to you.
Your conclusion is insufficient. It does not present the summary of the preceding discussion, there is no representation of your opinion in the concluding sentence, which would have led to a stronger closing paragraph. The overall score for this essay could be no higher than a 5. |
## Technology and traditional cultures
Nowadays, our life is very different from this life that our parents and grandparents used to live about 10 or 20 years ago.Many things were changed and the development of technology is the main reason for this change.It makes our life seem to be easier, faster and more effective.
However, gain and loss are twin in life. A lot of traditional cultures have almost lost when people only focus on new things and forget about traditional cultures
In Viet Nam, social life has changed rapidly since the day technology become a role play in life. People have more chance to interact with each other but it seems to be not real interaction. Hand-writing letters almost do not exist anymore, beside increasing of social media and online conversations. Some beautiful cultures were replaced by modern but stranger things.
In my opinion, this is not the technology development's fault, neither do traditional cultures. It's our fault, the way we face to this problem. Technology and traditional cultures are not incompatible, the actually can live and grow up together. We need to realize what need to change and what need to respect. Saving traditional cultures is not only for our benefit but also for our children and the generation beyond.
In fact, there are many great cultures were maintained and develop no matter what technology's affection. Such as family value in each Vietnamese's heart, filial love for parents and grandparents, a lot of traditional festivals still alive,...etc.
On the other hand, technology can also help to save traditional cultures by their wide range of connection. We definitely can use the internet as a tool to appeal to other's approval, publishing to people in domestic and international.
To sum up, technology and traditional cultures can exist and develop together or not, It depends on our point of view and the way we treat it | Van, you have to post the original prompt instructions for this essay so that I can give you more direct advice regarding the improvements to your essay. For now, the main problem that I can see is that you have divided the discussion into mini paragraphs instead of fully developed paragraphs. The paragraph presentation you have shows too much under developed ideas. You can't just present half discussed ideas in an essay. Each paragraph needs at least 3 sentences presented before it can be considered an almost fully developed idea. A completely developed idea takes 5 sentences maximum for the English tests. There is also the question of the validity of the discussion you present. That is something that can be better assessed once you share the full, cut and paste requirements for the discussion to be presented in this essay. I hope you can post that soon. One last thing, in academic writing, you cannot use casual formats such as the use of ellipses and the word "etc." That is simply not academic writing. Refrain from doing that with your future practice tests. |
**Some people think visitors to other countries should imitate local custom and behaviors. Some people disagree, they think the house country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.**
## respect for locals and their culture
It may be true for some people traveling overseas have to follow behaviors and values believed by local society while others believe that the home country should appreciate different cultures brought by travelers. This essay will discuss the two points of view.
It is good for foreign people to imitate local custom and behaviors when they travel to other countries. It is a sign that they appreciate what local people believe and it will help them to mingle with everyone who lives there. In addition, it is undeniable that international tourists who behave locally can prevent themselves from conflict with local people because there will be no cultural clash between the local culture and theirs, and they will enjoy their traveling more. For example: to be accepted by the native, European people traveling to Islamic countries should not drink alcohol in public area because it is against Islamic values which forbid Muslim to drink it.
Apart from previous explanation, it is believed that a visited country should accept cultural differences due to several reasons. Foreign travelers may have a hard time and need to take a longer time to adjust to the local culture which is totally new for them so that native people cannot force them to behave as they do. In addition, appreciating new culture shows that local people have high tolerance level and are friendly to welcome anyone who has different behaviors and values. It will be beneficial to boost the number of tourists to that country.
In conclusion, while foreign people are required to appreciate and follow local values because it will help them to mingle easily with natives and have a more enjoyable visit, local people should also welcome other's cultures in order to make them comfortable to live in and increase the potential of their tourism sector.
@holt , please examine this writing | Lincoln, the overall score for this essay will fall under the 4 bracket based on the discussion that you have presented. The overview summary and outline stated in your opening paragraph is incomplete. Since this paragraph is supposed to outline all paragraph topics in chronological order, the fact that you did not indicate that you will be stating your opinion, after a discussion of the two points of view made the summary incomplete and the task accuracy score fall in the scoring system.
Aside from that, you did not accurately represent the two opinions in the essay, per paragraph as being one of the two points of view that you are discussing from an impartial standpoint. It appears that both points of view relied on your personal opinion. That is not the instruction for the essay. You were to present a paragraph long discussion for each point of view first, then present your personal opinion in the 4th paragraph, prior to your concluding statement. These mistakes, when taken collectively into account, resulted in a low score. It is sad that you got a 4 based on a technicality. The mistake in the discussion form affected the overall score of the essay. |
**The bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012**.
## statistics of computer science study in UK
The bar chart describes how many people took computer science at university of UK. They are divided based on their gender and country's origin. It is noticeable that there were always more British students both in males and in females easy year while there was a sustained increase in all figures except in the figure of men in 2011.
In 2010, the number of male students from UK started at just under 40, 20 points higher than the number of international ones. The same trend occured in the category of females, in which the native ones were twice higher in their number than the overseas ones, at 30 and 15 respectively. There was a significant increase of local women by 15 in 2011 while the overseas female students rose slightly to just above 15. Meanwhile, in the male group, there was almost approximately 20.
The number of local and foreign learners increased remarkedly to above 35. In the contrary, the quantity of women's figures in both categories rose slightly to 45 for British and 20 for international students.
@holt, please examine this writing.
* | Lincoln, the second paragraph of the essay is a bit confusing for the reader because you did not use the complete years indicated in your descriptions. There are year indicators for every figure that was shared in the bar chart. It would have been clearer if you discussed each figure from the chart based upon the year indicators and within 2 paragraphs. The two paragraphs could have grouped the discussion into an effective manner by indicating a collective discussion for the British home students first. Then, in the next paragraph, you could have presented the same type of collective discussion for the International students. That way the flow of the information presentation would have been easier to follow for the reader. Overall though, your work was pretty good on this essay. It could have possibly earned you a 5 in the final scoring overall. |
**In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar Why is it the case? Is it a good thing or bad thing?**
## Modern and alike
In the olden days, the outlook of building depicted the cultural heritage in comparison with the modern buildings which almost look similar to each other, that in turn makes the city look alike. This trend could be ascribed to the scarcity of land for construction of buildings. In my opinion, having buildings which symbolises the culture has enormous advantages in terms of maintaining cultural divergence and tourism.
There are evident reasons as to why the houses in Metropolitan cities resemble one another. First and foremost, the population has skyrocketed which resulted in the scarcity of land for construction of houses. Due to increase in pollution many people have migrated from suburbs to urban areas. Thus, cities are overpopulated leaving very less space for construction of houses. Due to this, the concept of an apartment is vital in almost all cities wherein all buildings are constructed with the same plan which is an exact copy of each other. Bangalore is the prime example which is already hosting more people than it can accommodate, which led to the construction of buildings which are alike.
Nevertheless, the rise of the apartment is not all that beneficial. This is because the buildings show the culture and history of our religion. For example, Muslims while constructing home include one dome at the top. Therefore, it clearly reveals the religion which has been followed by the people if we look at the buildings. Furthermore, tourists have a great deal of interest in viewing the different type of buildings when they visit places of interest rather than viewing the same kind of building everywhere.
All in all, the modern buildings around the globe resembles each other in contrast with the buildings from earlier decades which were differently built. In conclusion, the construction of the buildings with the same pattern will result in losing cultural divergence which has been followed from ages around the world. | Haleshi, you can expect a final score of 3 for this practice test. The score is based upon the discussion that you presented, which showed that you clearly misunderstood the prompt and its required discussion instructions. The main point of the prompt was to have you discuss two points:
1. Why do cities in various parts of the world look alike?
2. Is this a good or bad thing?
Rather than discussing the world wide comparison of similar architectures, you discussed a localized version of the prompt instead. The cities referred to in the prompt indicate clearly that these cities look alike throughout the world. So the discussion to presented was already wrong. Aside from that, you used the singular form of city throughout the essay when the plural form is what you should have used since that is the reference in the original prompt.
The discussion presented in your essay would have been more acceptable and scored higher for you if you had only done the comparison of the cities that look alike from a global scale. Cities such as London, Brussels, and Berlin, all located in different countries across the world and yet, have similar looking cities in their countries. One is in the United Kingdom, the other in Belgium, and another, in Germany. The discussion as to why these cities look alike are based upon a shared cultural heritage, environment, weather pattern, traditions, etc., which led to similar architectural styles for their cities. Being in close proximity, the countries tended to share their knowledge amongst themselves, which led to similar architectural styles. Therefore, the shared architectural style cannot be considered a bad thing because it is the result of knowledge transfer and improving architectural styles.
The reason I gave above is a more prompt adherent discussion when composed to what you presented. You understood what the prompt wanted you to discuss, you just failed to understand that it was supposed to be on a global and not localized scale for discussion. |
**Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.**
*Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.*
**Essay**
## naturalness protection
The population of the world is increasing, putting more pressure on constrained natural resources. Due to human beings, many species have become extinct and it has also precipitated a rise in temperature. Human beings seem to be a natural disaster which might play a crucial role in the extinction of life on earth. Many countries have extensively relied upon their wilderness areas for economic gains. I completely support this policy due to the reasons that will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Wilderness areas are an ecosystem in which individual components play a crucial role to keep the system healthy. From earthworms to scavengers every single organism plays a leading role in maintaining the health. There has been a lot of research that shows how trees are able to communicate with each other, and they can also provide nutrients to unhealthy and weak plants. This ecosystem is very hard to replicate and has survived thousands of years of drastic weather conditions. Human intervention proves to be fatal when some of the components are disturbed and broken. It is not easy to restore or replicate nature's creation and human beings should stop deteriorating them for economic gains.
Sustainable development is an investment in the future, though it comes at the expense of current economic benefits. This growth can be considered as an example of delayed gratification, and we will be able to reap larger benefits. Instead of focusing on short-term economic gains, nations should promote research on alternative sources of income and energy.
We should slow down and look at the impact of our actions. Global warming threatens the existence with melting glaciers and increasing sea levels. Eventually, a large part of the land will be inundated. It is possible to balance growth and environment and Bhutan is the living example of such a nation. Bhutan consumes more carbon dioxide than it produces. It is the only nation in the world with a negative carbon balance. Our world necessitates the destruction of nature for financial goals, but Bhutan, notwithstanding, sets and example of an alternative approach
It is high time that human efforts should be redirected towards the preservation of nature, instead of wealth creation. We should start thinking about our children and the future of humankind. Replicating or planting trees after destroying natural reserves is futile as the artificial ecosystem is not resilient. I strongly support this policy and would also like to see harsh punishments for the violators. | Shivam, upon close analysis of your essay, I do not believe that you can score higher than a 3 for this work. The flaws in your reasoning are serious enough to affect the overall score of your essay because you failed to do two things. The first, is to present a competent and understandable paraphrasing of the prompt requirement. The second problem, is that you failed to anticipate the questions that can be posed regarding your supporting arguments, as well as the lack of consequence discussion and how it shaped your opinion. Both of which were clearly stated in the original discussion and both of which, you were expected to accurately represent in your essay. The failure on your part to do this shows a lack of understanding of the requirements posed before you. Which in turn, led to the lack of properly developed response on your part. Aside from that, the grammatical errors in terms of sentence structure and development also adversely affected the presentation and clarity of your discussion within some parts of your essay. The final outcome, was the score of 3. |
**People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons.**
## the qualities of oration
It has been observed that few people face difficulties to deliver a speech or to give a demo in public. In my view, it is very much essential to master the qualities of oration. This is because enhancing these skills provide a great deal of confidence to an individual.
To begin with, there are plenty of reasons to illustrate the benefits of giving a presentation in public. First and foremost, individuals who can face the world without shy and hindrance are good at handling things with confidence. In other words, people who can clearly express their ideas and make others understand are bound to achieve success. A good illustration is the life history of Dr. Mukesh Batra, who is the founder of Dr. Batra's Group of Medicine. He started off his journey into the field of medicine and brought his company to the international level in a couple of 20 years. In his biography people have shared his qualities of leadership which were the key to his great success, this reveals that having a quality of addressing audience can act as the key to success.
In addition, university education includes pursuing internship and projects in the final year of the course. As a part of this, students are supposed to prepare a presentation to brief their project work in front of lecturers and students. Even though, a student has prepared an excellent presentation, without proper narration skills it is indeed difficult to get a higher band. Universities are giving a lot of stress on these skills and some universities are arranging weekend classes on soft skills which are highly beneficial for students. Thus presentation skills give more exposure for Juveniles and help them to express their ideas clearly.
All in all, communication skill is one of the main soft skills which add flavors to one's professional career. People pursuing these skills are in high demand, who can be appraised and appreciated with some perks. | Sinchana, the example that you gave about the doctor is irrelevant to the discussion. You presented his success but it does not clearly related to an ability to be able to conduct public speaking. Public speaking is different from merely speaking to people in private. Public speaking requires an audience and simply talking to people can be done in private. The second paragraph that you wrote about students having to speak in public is also not relevant enough. Had you said that public speaking skills are important when a college student is defending his thesis in front of the thesis board, then the requirement for public speaking skills would have been more relevant. Based on the aforementioned problems of your essay, I do not think that you can score higher than a 4 in the actual test. |
This is my first essay, I hope I find someone correct it for me.
**You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.**
## being a boss in your own house
In most countries, owning a house come with taxes and other money related problems. Thus, for most people earning money is the number one priority in their lives. Starting a business is the best choice to them. In our country Saudi Arabia, we don't have these problems. We don't have any taxes for anything and can easily purchase anything without worrying about financial problems related to it. For me, having a house is much more important than having my own business for several reasons.
First, owning a house add a sense of stability and comfort in person's life. For me, I can have pets, backyard for my children to play, our own garage, storage space.. etc.
The ability to be my own boss in my own house is priceless. Living in an apartment in building - either owned or rent- don't give me much of freedom. For example, I live in an owned apartment and I really regret not buying a house when I had the chance. Am having problems with storages and space although when me and my husband bought it we thought it was spacious. My daughter don't have much space for playing, and we usually combat with our neighbors for car parking! Having a house will solve all these problems and when new one pops up it can be easily sorted out.
Second, buying a house will affect the person or family income. He or she won't be worried about rent by the end of the every month or year. In addition, he/she will save more money in the long run as they stopped paying rent. From my experience, owning the place we live in is an advantage in our lives.
The amount of money we used to spend in rent is now spent in more important things, or it can be saved to build a business.
Last, living in an apartment means you have to deal with building supper or neighbor complaints for anything. In the other hand, if you have a house you will not be subject to all of this. Right now, we pay a fee every month for building services and maintains though we own the apartment, but nothing is free these days. Most of the rent money we thought we can use it was spent on different kind of fees.
In summary, buying a house will give you piece of mind. It actually will help you save more money. Moreover you will leave a good asset to your children as a property has price. So it is a good investment for the present and the future | Hi Norah, don't worry about it. We are happy that you are practicing here and you value the advice we give you. Can you tell us what kind of English test you plan to take in the future? In order to make sure you can pass that test, you should write essays that have topics based on the type of test that you will be taking. You will also be able to read the work of the other test takers here and learn from the advice given to them. That is how you can slowly, but surely, improve your writing skills. You have to focus on two things at the start. First, make sure that you understand the topic for discussion. Second, practice your paraphrasing of the topic and instructions. These are all in the first paragraph of the essay. Once you can properly develop the first paragraph, you will be able to easily write the rest of the essay. Again,it would be best if we knew what exam you are preparing for. Also, you should read the other sample essays of the students here so that you have a reference regarding how to best develop your response essays. |
**100 years ago people thought that the human race was steadily making progress in all areas of life. Nowadays, there is less certainity that it is so. In what areas do you think the most important progress have been made so far ? In what areas are more things needed to be done ?**
## Human's growth in all fields related to life
Over the last ten decades, humans have shown a steady growth in all fields related to life. However, it is observed that nowadays the invention by mankind in areas of life has reached a stagnant stage. The most intriguing inventions of this era are in the field of healthcare and technology. However, we need to take special measures and work on deriving methods to reduce global warming and pollution which are pressing issues.
To begin with, there are numerous innovations in all areas of life which contribute to a better life expectancy of mankind. First and foremost, medical inventions have shown extraordinary results in addressing the epidemic diseases suffered by humanbeings from ages. Malaria is the prime example which has been treated from grass root level. In addition, the research in the field of technology is highly valuable. With the technological improvements, the communication between people around the world is at the touch of a button and these improvements device some real benefits to the whole world. For example, with the introduction of the internet, skype and facebook people who are miles apart can communicate within a fraction of a second.
Nevertheless, there are fields which has been neglected by humans from quite sometime, which require immediate attention now. The most prominent issues that threaten human race are Global warming and pollution. Humans are indulged in deforestation and polluting the environment by burning fossil fuels which have a devastating effect on the whole world. In order to make the world livable, we need plant more trees and come up with action plans for reducing the pollution which in turn results in reducing the global warming.
All in all, human beings have shown exceeding improvements in all areas of life which helps us to stay healthy and explore more around the world. Despite this, the improvements in addressing the problems such as population and global warming are not considerable to the great extent. | In your presentation, each paragraph has 2 examples which you use to create your message regarding the topic provided, All you have to do in order to find the problems with your essay is to read your essay again after reading my previous comments. The grammar problems are quite clear in each paragraph and explained by me in thread #2. For a more specific example, to help you get a starting point, refer to the second paragraph where you discuss Malaria at the start, then move to technology later on. For a better developed essay, you need to use the 5 sentence requirement per paragraph to solidly discuss the example that you can best develop for the discussion. It is not good to present 2 under developed reasons because that does not accomplish much for you in terms of proving your English thinking and grammar development skills. |
**New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.**
One more useless 'correction' from you = account suspension
## preparation for motherhood/fatherhood
Parenthood is the most beautiful phase of life which requires a lot of patience. In order to help new parents to nurture their toddlers, it is advisable to join a parenting course to get the know-how on raising kids. I am of the mixed opinion that enrolling oneself into parenting course will be helpful, whereas it is unrealistic to make sure everyone will join these courses.
On one hand, these type of courses is required for couples who are staying away from their parents and doesn't have experience of handling kids. Despite this, parenting courses also offer practical reasoning of some trivial methods which are used by our ancestors. For example, when a toddler is having running nose, elders prefer to give a soup of black pepper, ginger et cetera. We might not know the exact purpose behind these things which will get clarified and addressed in the parenting courses. In addition, attending parenting course bring an extraordinary confidence in seeing ourself in foreseeable future as successive parents.
On the flip side, parenting course is not worth for group families. This is because group family normally consists of elders who have immense experience in handling kids and taking care of them right from their birth. Furthermore, expecting all parents to attend these type of course is impractical as everyone might not have the budget to spend money on these courses. A good illustration is people who are living in below poverty line suffer to get basic needs for their livelihood who will be least bothered about these courses.
All in all, parenting is the most critical phase where parents should take utmost care of kids and guide them in right direction and mold them to become better citizens. In my view, though parenting course brings a lot of support and confidence to young parents, it is not required by few people who are gifted with join family and people who are running on tight budgets. | Sinchana, as I have previously mentioned, you cannot choose to support both sides in the discussion when a prompt asks you present "the extent to which you agree OR disagree" with a given proposal. The keyword here being OR. Make a choice. Pick one side of the topic. The side that you are most familiar with and can defend even in the simplest form of English discussion. Then in the opening statement, state which side you will be supporting in this essay discussion. You cannot have mixed reviews. You must follow the prompt instruction for every essay that you write. No deviations. A deviation could result in an automatic failure in the exam because you will most likely not present the correct discussion for the topic provided. This seems to be a regular problem with your essays. You are incapable of actually following the English instructions. Do you have a problem understanding how to write the various IELTS essays? If so, you better speak up so that I can help you fix that problem. If you don't fix it, there is a greater chance of you not passing the IELTS when you finally take the actual test. |
**More and More people prefer to read e-books rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems this can cause for libraries?**
## electronic or real books?
With the prolific advancements in technology, there are a number of gadgets which replace the paper books and provide online books to the reader. I would discuss several precursors to this issue, such as readability provided by e-books, followed by the adverse effect of e-books on libraries.
There are evident reasons as to why the paper books on the shelves are replaced by the e-books. First and foremost, the ease of e-books provides more flexibility and wider options to the e-reader. Furthermore, the e-books look similar to any other books which can hold 100s of books in its electronic device. A good example is a survey conducted in 2015 to draw the comparison between e-books and paper books. The result reveals that more than 60 % of the respondents are in favor of e-books, and consists of a higher percentage of elderly people, who are more comfortable with e-books as they can zoom the letters while reading which is highly beneficial. Another prime reason is the accessibility of books at the touch of a button through the internet which reduces the boredom of visiting shops and purchasing the books.
However, the outrageous advantage of e-books is having a negative impact on libraries. This can be attributed to the popularity of e-books which are attracting many readers and in turn leave the libraries empty. Even though, this kind of situation prevails there are some people who are comfortable and prefer to read only paper books for the look and feel it provides. Furthermore, there are some historical books which are not available over the internet and can be found only in the libraries which still hold the prime focus of old libraries. In Canada, after the advancement of e-books, some libraries lost the visibility and forced to shut down, while old libraries which exist from ages still have a great importance.
All in all, e-books have proved to be exceedingly important in this modern world, however, libraries which persist from ages still have its enormous significance. | If you have only 15 days left before the test, we do not have enough time to fix your problems. That is not to say that it cannot be done though. That just means that we have to work twice as hard to help you pass the test. The first thing that we have to address is your problem in understanding the prompt requirements. You have to learn to find the keywords in the prompt that will allow you better develop your answer. For example, in this prompt, the keywords are prefer to read, e-books, paper books, reasons, problems caused for libraries. Once you know what the keywords are, you will be able to assess the proper method of responding to the essay. The question posed becomes clearer. I strongly suggest that you develop this skill by writing at least 2 essays per day and reading more sample IELTS tests either at this forum or through other sources. It is important that you read the advice given to previous test takers and understand the suggested improvements for their work. That will also help you to discover your problems and how to fix it. Don't worry, I for one will be here for you every step of the way while you practice for your test. I won't quit on helping you if you don't give up on yourself. |
**In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subject ( such as literature ), and boys tends to choose science subjects ( i.e. physics) . Why do you think this is so ? Should this tendency be changed.**
## disparity between both genders with choosing a school subject
Many universities have witnessed a difference in choice of suject preference between girls and boys. The observation is, girls are keen on choosing arts subjects such as literature, whereas boys tend to choose science subject like physics. This trend could be ascribed to the gender-specific differences, which does not require any assistance or change in its pattern.
On one hand, the top-tier institutions have shown the differences in subject preference between two genders. This can be attributed to the behaviour, attitude, and choice of individuals while selecting the major subject in universities. Girls tend to have a great deal of interest in learning logical reasoning, analytical skills, collecting information and writing clearly and coherently. Whereas, guys have shown enthusiasm in competitive exams, medicine, research and engineering courses. This is clearly a matter of choice and preference between two genders.
In my view, I do not think the tendency of choosing what inspires student should be altered. This is because, if chosen a subject of others choice or due to parents pressure, Juveniles will not enjoy their studies. In this 21st century, each and every person should be given the chance to select what they like and allow students to pursue what motivates them. A good illustration is the biography of M S Dhoni, who claims his parents helped him to identify his hidden talent and nurtured his abilities, which in turn molded Dhoni and he could succeed in adding his name to the list of top 10 cricketers.
In conclusion, the great disparity between choosing a subject in universities can be a matter of pure choice between girls and boys. However, it is advisable to allow and promote individuals to select a subject which is in accordance with their choice, which in turn helps them to enjoy their professional career. | Sinchana, always keep a formal, academic tone in your essays. Always refer to the genders as male or female, men or women, girls or boys, ladies or gentlemen. Never use the slang term "guys" or "gals" as you did for the boys in this essay. That is informal English and, while easier to write and remember, removes your ability to show that you know how to respect the reader who is a person in authority. In your opening statement, you failed to present just one tiny aspect of the prompt, your opinion as to whether the trend should be changed. Remember, the opening statement is the summary of the prompt requirement so you need to make sure that every question is responded to in the short form in the introductory paragraph. Even with that simple error on your part, you will still manage to get at least a 5 in this essay because you actually did present an understandable discussion. There can be some confusion at some points of your presentation but it is not enough to thoroughly stress out the reader. The discussion is logical and makes sense once you get over the grammar problems. I hope that you will continue to show improvement with your next set of practice tests. It looks like you are on your way to increasing your practice scores. Keep it up. |
Hi ! I am practicing on Ielts and I got this prompt:
The prompt says : **the bar graph shows the global sales (in bilion of dollards) og different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006**
## sale of games worldwide
The bar graph gives information about worldwide proceeds in dollars of four different kinds of videogames, namely mobile phone, online, console and handled games over the course of 6 years starting from 2000.
It is noticeable that the sales of console games enormously declined over period, whereas the taking of three other things increased dramatically every year.
In 2000, the global proceeds of console games followed by $6 billion, while handled games reached a plateau at $11 billion. Over the next 2 years, sales of console games still plunged by $2bilion although the turnover of handled games still went down . In that year, mobile phone and online began to be known. The next year, the figure for console games decreased by $3bilion.However, sales of three other stuffs.
In 2006, proceeds of handled games hitched the highest point of the graph and turnover of online and mobile games reached &10 and $7bilion .In contrast, sales of console games went down and became the lowest column. | To, the score you will most likely get for this essay is a 5. That is because you missed out on some key bullet points from the image within your report summary. The first piece of information that you lacked in the overview was the reference to the earnings in billions of dollars. You should have also clearly listed down the years presented in actual number format in order to create a truly informed overview.
Now, in the short paragraph 2, instead of saying "3 things", you should make specific mention of the three gaming formats instead. That would have removed the mechanical feature of your presentation and also offer you an opportunity to further expand the explanation in the paragraph. Never say "the next year", always indicate the full year in numbers. You have a hanging sentence in "However, sales of three other stuff." Three other stuff what? There is a lacking subject in that sentence.
This essay would have been better developed if you had chosen to present the information in groups of 4 instead. The first group, would have shown the global sales of games covering mobile, online, console, and handheld games. The stagnating figure, could have been presented as a paragraph unto itself. However, these are writing styles that more seasoned writers are capable of doing. I would love it if you could aspire to achieve that status by first, trying to practice that style in your practice essays. If you can present your essays in a manner that shows a higher level of writing, you are sure to gain higher points in task accuracy and grammar range. |
## Pie charts and table
The pie chart represents the data of reasons of land degradation globally whereas the table shows the impact of land degradation in three different continents. Most of all, overgrazing is the majority cause of degradation and Europe is the region that has the largest loss of land.
There is about 35 percent of land degraded happened in cosequence of over grazing. Indeed, the deforestation comes in second largest causes of degrading land. However, it is only about 7 percent contributed by uknown causes, whereas over- cultivation is the other reason that cause 28 percent of land degradation.
In detail, Ocenia region experiences over-grazing recently than any other continents, which is about 11.3 percent. Besides, over-cultivation in Europe is twice as North America which is about 3.3 percent. Nevertheless, Europe has the highest percentage of deforestation among continents, contributing 9.8 percent of total land degraded that is about 23 percent. | Fadhil, please post the chart for comparison purposes. I cannot properly analyze your work without the images and data to compare it with. In the meantime, here are general observations of your work. The opening statement is too short in relation to the 3 sentence minimum requirement. You have written two long sentences that would have been more efficient in improving your task accuracy score if you had created separate sentences and fulfilled the minimum 3 sentence requirement instead. He very careful of your grammar. You said "in cosequence" when the correct term is "as a consequence". Mistakes like that prove a carelessness in writing that directly affects the related band criteria score. Always proof read and edit your work before submitting for scoring or review. |
## solving dilemmas of our society
All of us are raised in this society and thus have the responsibility to improve it. With the rapid development of industries and sciences, there are lots of problems in our society pertained to the aspects of educational systems and environmental pollution. Therefore, we should make our society better starting by solving these dire obstacles.
First and foremost, by altering the current educational systems we can relieve the problems of unemployment. Nowadays school education has ironically turned into college entrance education, which disastrously leads to over-qualified graduates with low-paying jobs while local companies lack professionals. We should offer integrated and diverse educations along with expanding the implementation of industry-academy cooperation.
Secondly, it is indispensable to improve the quality of our living standards by protecting our environment. Strengthening the control of waste liquid treatments and subsidizing electric / hybrid car purchases would be a sensible choice rather than continuing this fatuous devastation to our mother nature. In addition, we must also reduce the amount of personal garbage so as to achieve a sustainable environment for human society, paying special attention to harmonizing the relationship between humankind and nature.
Last but not the least, an efficient and thorough improvement to our society relies not just on the reforms in policies but on the effort of involving every single person in this movement. Our success in improving our society depends on the extent to which we can get the people involved in this movement and make them understand the significance of solving these social problems. This will determine how fast our society progresses and improves.
Obviously, it is high time that we should take certain measures to solve the problems. I think all the methods described above can solve the dilemma to our society and lead us to a better tomorrow. | Kalmia, are you writing this as a response to a specific English qualifying test that you will be taking in the future? If so, then please tell me which test that is and also, provide the complete prompt requirement that you are responding to. That is the best way for me to be able to properly review and comment on your essay. That is also the best way to present your essays for review in your future practice tests.
While the discussion is engaging and knowledgeable, I am unsure as to whether or not this is the proper response to the prompt. So it would be best if I knew what topic you are trying to discuss and what the expected response presentation is. I would like to commend you on the good work (so far) that you have done in terms of lexical resource and grammar range. This essay is truly understandable and does not cause undue stress upon the reader. Whether it properly responds to the prompt though, is something that I have yet to discover. |
## Which type of grading system works best for the students
has been a debatable topic for a long time. Many practitioners believe that letter grading system is better than pass - fail grading system. On the other hand many practitioners don't agree with it as they find pass- fail grading system better than letter grading system. Hence, no firm decision has been made yet which grading system should be followed. As a result, many american public schools have removed the "A" to "F" grading system and substituted "Pass - Fail" grading system.
I believe that both the grading system have few pros and cons just like two sides of a coin. The pros of letter grading system are that it gives a variety of choice for the instructor to grade the student. A student gets the exact grade depending on his/her performance in the exam. Secondly, the student gets motivated to improve his/her result as they know how much improvement they need to get a better grade. For instance, I scored an A and my friend scored B in our math test. He was motivated to see my A grade to work hard and improve his grade in the next test. He knew he can get an A if he devoted extra time for his studies. I also worked hard to keep up with my scores and simultaneously, I boosted him to score A. I think if it would have been a pass - fail grading system then none of would have worked hard and persistently because passing the test would have been our primary concern rather than scoring well or improving. On the other hand, if we look at the cons of the "A" to "F" grading system we see that level of competition remains high resulting in students facing exam anxiety. Many students fear from giving exams. They fear of scoring low grades. While many students who have been scoring low scores throughout the year lose their self confidence. Many students even have suicidal tendencies by the end of the school year. The reason can be that they tried their best to improve the score but couldn't get a better grade. Many students also become a victim of bullying due to low scores. When I was in 10th grade, I had a classmate who had been scoring "D" in most of the exams. Before the final exams he tried to attempt suicide in school. Though he was saved but i know he and his parents would have been affected by that incident. Would it had been a pass - fail grading system, the student won't have tried to do suicide as he would have passed the tests like other classmates.
Many researchers find the "Pass - Fail" grading system works best for most of the students. They think that students are comfortable with this grading system as they don't fear scoring less than their peers, resulting in better performance. As all the students either pass or fail the subject, the competition remains under control. Secondly, it boosts their confidence and students don't face bullying either. Students can perform their best without the fear of being judged by their peers and teachers. For instance, one of cousins used to get a "D" in most of her initial schooling year. Despite of many efforts, her grades improved to "C" and nothing better. Her parents shifted her to a school where they had "Pass - Fail" grading system. Her confidence improved. Her understanding and learning of her subjects improved magnificently. Another positive point is that the students get personalized instructors statement about their progress which encourages the students. If we look at the cons of "Pass - Fail" grading system we see that all students are graded either pass or fail. The level of competition becomes null. Hence demotivating the high scorers. In fact many students may not put enough efforts to learn the concepts of a subject as they might think they can pass the exam with limited knowledge and study. This system doesn't gives the teachers enough choice to grade the students depending on their subject competency. All students are given either a "Pass - Fail" grade despite of hard work done by many students.
In the end I would say that both system had few positive and negative points. Letter grading system works for few students and pass - fail grading system works better for others. Therefore, it is best to leave it on the students and their parents to decide which scoring system would they prefer for themselves or their kids. Like many universities give options to the students if they want their result in letter grade or pass- fail. By individualizing the test scores depending on the choice made by the student will help the them rather than hindering in their exam performance. | Kaur, the best that you can score on this essay is a 3. The basis of the score is the fact that you were unable to properly represent the pros and cons of each side. It would have been better if your response had collected all of the pro and con statements for each side in a connected discussion per paragraph. That way the essay does not feel so disconnected because you kept a running comparison of the two grading systems instead of simply discussing the pro and con of each grading type covering a total of 2 paragraphs. That made it confusing for the reader to keep track of the point of your essay. You need to show an ability to show a progressive discussion and an ability to create connected flows of thought within a paragraph. thus increasing your score further. |
**Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?**
## The new lifestyle and lack of immunity
These days children have many diseases which in the past were just for elderly people. Some bad habits and new lifestyle cause this problem. I have some suggestions about this problem.
It is obvious many junk food and prepared food are easy found, which have many high Cholesterols. Young people just have them because they do not like to spend a lot of time to cook the healthy food. Also, their parents do not have a lot of time to prepare home-made food. Therefore, children tend to eat some unhealthy food in the restaurant or cafe. Moreover, children do not have a lot of exercises or physical movements. So, their bodies produce many fat.
There are many ways to prevent some disease in the early age. By buying regularly fruits and vegetables instead of junk food, children are encouraged to eat healthy food. Also, spending more time to walk to go to the school instead of regularly driving the cars to take and put children, children can have exercise. Also, children should have some courses for sports. Moreover, they should know about importance of healthy body. For example, they should be thought about some consequence of bad lifestyle.
In conclusion, children have some problems as result of new lifestyle. They have some diseases that people in the past suffered in the old age. Children do not have healthy nutrition. Also, they do not have exercise as the same level as children used to have in the past. For increasing the number of children having these diseases, spending some time to have physical movement and providing some healthy food can prevent this problem. | Sara, the main point that you have to work on improving is your ability to understand English. The reason that you do not do well in the tests, no matter how many times you take it is because you are not a native English speaker, you are not surrounded by native English speakers, and therefore, do not have the ability to think, understand, and speak in English on a 24.7 basis. If you cannot truly understand the topic for discussion in the prompt, you will not be able to properly address the topic given for discussion. I am sorry to be harsh but that is the reality of your writing shortcoming. There is still a way you can improve though. It is something that has really worked for my students in the past.
I want you to stop writing IELTS practice tests. Instead, look for English articles online and read them. Understand what the article is all about. Then write an essay that tells me what you understand from the article. That is all I want you to focus on for now. Once you have answered those 4 questions, post your essay here, accompanied by the guide questions then I will analyze whether you are showing improvement or not in your comprehension skills. Do this as a part of your daily English routine. If you are self studying for the IELTS, then do not do the practice tests yet. If you are enrolled in IELTS classes though, you should just add this exercise to your daily routine to help improve your comprehension abilities. |
**Some people think government should take measures on healthy lifestyle of individuals, Few others think it must be managed by each individual responsibility. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.**
## bad habits equal bad health
Over the last few decades, the food habits have changed vigorously. Some people believe that government should implement measures for a healthy lifestyle, while others think individuals must take the necessary measurements. In my view, I have a mixed opinion and believe that both government and individuals should go hand in hand in helping individuals to maintain a healthy diet.
On one hand, few people are of opinion that individuals are of prime importance in ensuring their lifestyle and healthy food habits. The unhealthy eating patterns have triggered issues such as obesity, diabetes et cetera which seek immediate attention. So individuals should consult doctors and come up with a chart for their diet and implement it without fail. Along with this, it is crucial to do some kind of physical activity which keeps everyone healthy and fit. Including nutrient rich food in our diet definitely have paramount importance in maintaining a balanced died.
On the flip side, a government should actively involve in helping citizens of their country to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This can be accomplished by arranging campaigns about what makes a healthy lifestyle and importance of it. In addition, a government can levy high taxes on fast foods which are having an adverse effect on humans' health. Alongside, a government can arrange for free physical activity classes which are indeed essential to everyone. In western countries, the sessions pertaining to physical activity are organised by the government for free of cost.
Healthy lifestyle is the key to successful life which has to be achieved by everyone. In conclusion, I assert that both government and individuals should thrive to create a healthy environment which in turn promotes healthy lifestyle. | Sinchana, when you write an opinion essay, you score better once you take a position, or a side of the discussion and defend it accurately throughout your essay. By doing so, you allow the reviewer to see that you fully understood the prompt. In addition to that, you also gain a better chance of improving your task accuracy, As well as the Grammar Range and Accuracy portion of your scoring because you will be focused on thinking about only one side of the discussion instead of thinking about how to develop two sides of a single discussion.
About the body of your essay itself. You did not properly understand the required points for discussion. Perhaps you made a mistake in noting the topic sentences which are " government should take measures on healthy lifestyle of individuals" , and "managed by each individual responsibility." , ending with ". Discuss both sides and give your opinion."
What you did was offer advice instead on how individuals and the government can promote healthy lifestyles. The proper discussion action would have been to justify the reasons why individuals need to take personal responsibility for better health. Then discuss why the government needs to mandate that people take care of their health (government supported health programs are a prime example). Finally, based upon either discussion, you should have developed a supporting opinion for the side you believe is correct. As per essay instructions, when you write an opinion paper, you need to take only one side because both sides cannot be right.
Do not rewrite this essay. You already failed the task. Move on to the next practice test. Remember the corrections you were given here and apply it to the next test. Do this like an actual test. You can't repeat the same essay in an actual test if you did not write it properly the first time. Failed is failed. That is the only way you can improve. |
**The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problem does this create? What can be done to tackle them?**
## Lowering the financial abyss between rich and poor
With the growing population, the gap between rich people and poor people is steadily increasing. This trend could be ascribed to a few reasons, and definite actions must be taken to reduce the gap between rich and poor people.
There are evident reasons as to why the gap between the high and low standard of people is rising drastically. The most prominent reason is the unavailability of education to people who are below poverty line. The focus of the world is shifting towards creating a global village which is highly beneficial for people in developing and developed countries, which doesn't have the major benefit of underdeveloped countries. Despite this, the mindset of poor people acts as a trigger for this wide differentiation as they won't understand the necessity of education and doesn't promote their offsprings to learn academics.
To boost the economy of underdeveloped countries which in turn reduce the gap between richer and poorer nations, we have to devise some definitive plans. The action point should include offering basic education to everyone along with this there should be some kind of schemes for prospective students who are willing to pursue higher education. Furthermore, world organization should take measures in boosting the economy of underdeveloped countries and help them to grow financially. One such example is the act passed by United Nations in maintaining the peace and prosperity of Syria by imposing mandatory education for everyone in the country and providing financial aids.
In conclusion, I believe that the aforementioned measures can create more peaceful communities and ensure the gap between rich and poor people is minimized. | Sinchana, you have a number of problems in this essay. The first, and biggest of which, is the mistaken prompt discussion. You decided to over reach with your topic discussion by discussing the gap between the rich and the poor on a global scale. I am wondering as to why you did that because the scope of the prompt is actually only on a local, national scale. That is one of the main reasons why your discussion is confusing and your prompt paraphrasing does not really reflect the correct message from the given topic. The confusing paragraphs in this essay are numerous. Let me point out one confusing sentence in paragraph 2 for you.
*... highly beneficial for people in developing and developed countries, which doesn't have the major benefit of underdeveloped countries.*
As a fully developed country, the people from that country do not face the same "disadvantages" as those from under developed countries. You mistakenly claimed that a developed country does not have the major benefit of underdeveloped countries. An under developed country cannot have major benefits because their overall national development is slow, compromised, and not really at par with the developed nations. So there is no way that a developed country would appreciate the "benefits" of being an under developed country.
Perhaps this mistake is caused by your unfamiliarity with the English language, or a misunderstanding of the phrase meanings. Either way, The serious mistakes such as the ones above have a severe effect on your final score, you could probably get no higher than a 3 or 4 in the overall band score. |
*In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.*
## Trips between learning at a university
Nowadays, it's popular for teenagers to travel or to work for a year before studying into next level. Even though it is a common activity, there are some advantages and disadvantages in my point of view.
First, I think young people apply a part-time job or take a trip around the world or in domestic. It is a great chance for these people to learn the experience before stepping into a society, and to be independent without their parents' help. For example, I had a job when I was 18. I was a home teacher to educate some children of neighbors. It was the first time I realize that how challenged is to communicate with a child. They were annoying and non-well disciplined. After I finished this job, I was admired those child educators. I also appreciated how my parents are patient to teach me.
On the other hand, there are some concerns that should be considered carefully. The safety,the expense, and the difficulty of a travel, and the qualification,the danger, and own interest of a job are all the factors young people should think about. In the sense that young people may not have enough experience to tel a job is whether illicit or have fair treatment. Some young people are exploited by employers without being aware of or even involve in some illegal events due to the difference of each country.
In short words, if someone is well-prepared and well-evaluated one's capability, to travel or to work would be a amazing experience of life for adolescents. | Ho, I believe that you can score an overall 5 in this essay. That is because you have made sufficient use of cohesive devices, delivered a somewhat coherent thought process, and responded to the task accurately using acceptable simple sentences and words. While there may be a problem with your grammar accuracy, your errors in grammar did not hinder the reader's understanding of the explanations that you delivered in every paragraph. There is a slight inaccuracy in the way that you paraphrased the prompt but the end result still contained the essence of the original discussion point so it is an acceptable enough paraphrasing of the original topic. While you did write more than the 250 words, I feel like you should have written at least three hundred words in order to have presented a more accurate summary and recap of the previously provided information in the closing paragraph. |
## values of art
In the age of technology, science is thriving rapidly everyday and the incredible supports for human like computer, smartphone, robot and internet... are undeniable. However, art is still no less important when some people rate the value of art very high. Indeed, there are some affects from art to soul of human that science never can do.
To begin with, music makes us feel comfortable, relieve stress, also lift our emotion, help people feel cheerful. For example, in some researches show that playing at least one musical instrument will raise our IQ up to 3 points more. On the other hand, observe skill will be developed when drawer look at the objects in order to perform it again on the art material. Beside, the distinctive way we transfer our emotion and private view to the viewers is not like any science subjects.
Dance is also a form of art, dance follow the music improve condition of heart and lung, keep the body fitness, increased muscular strength, physical confident and mental functioning. Whereas, science do not have these astonishing capability to support human.
In brief, science is really essential to everyday life to heighten result in work and benefit every aspect of life. However, it is true that there are some values from art inspire human that no science field can do. | Truong, you seem to have misunderstood the prompt. The reference to art that is being made in the prompt is not about the effect of music and dance on people but rather, the way that life can be interpreted through art. The reference that the topic makes is to the arts in terms of paintings, drawings, sketches, collages, etc. The arts that talk about life, not the arts that fills life. So there is misdirection of the prompt in your discussion. The clue as to how to discuss the essay came from the fact that the prompt asks you to discuss "What can arts tell us of life that science cannot". This is a reference to the way that the aforementioned types of graphic art can help people learn about the way of life of bygone era, such as 18th century artwork, or the works of the great artists such as Van Gogh, and Monet. Their paintings depicted life in a way that science can never impart to people. This is actually a trick question that tests your ability to decipher keywords and the hidden meaning behind the prompts. This is a test of your analytical skill and cultural references. While your discussion was good, I do not feel that it properly addressed the prompt because you failed to recognize the real meaning behind the implied discussion. |
Hi! I am practicing on IELTS and I got this prompt
the prompt says: **In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight
what do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?**
## Some measures to tackle the obesity problem
In industrial society nowadays, so many children over the world are suffering from obesity and it is serious problem. There are some underlying causes that will be discussed in this essay and I will put forward some solution to tackle this situation.
There are many causes connected with this problem. That the lack of physical exercise is the one cause is obvious. Children are having a tendency to have unhealthy eating habit so their favorite foods are fast food or unhealthy junk food. However, the pace of life increases, some children have to study academic subjects all day and be involved in less outdoor activities. This will result in serious health problem and have a negative influence on their health because exercise can make our body be sweaty and eliminate poison element. They have to be responsible for some ailments such as high blood pressure heart disease and especially obesity which causes health deterioration. Having abstinence is not easy because they were used to eating a lot. Also, with a big body, they will feel shame about it and become unconfident. Consequently, they do not want to communicate with anyone, which cause a serious problem about their life such as mental diseases.
Taking effective measures to exercise as soon as possible can be the best solution ever. Parents should not be indifferent to gain weight of their children instead of raising their awareness of exercise. Let them know how bad sedentary lifestyle is or health risks associated with overweight. Make sure they have effective future eating habits by preventing them from unhealthy food, forcing them to eat more vegetables and drink water every day. Schools should organize more outdoor activities instead of studying all day is likely to progress rapidly in their health. This may bring a good chance to obtain a lot of real skill. They are not shamed and bout their body anymore.
In conclusion, obesity is a serious problem that children have to deal with. However, if they make sure exercise to be done every day, they do not have to worry anymore. | An example of the proper opening statement for this discussion would be:
*The current lifestyle of the present generation of youngsters have led to an increase in obesity. This is a worldwide health problem that has been caused by a number of controllable reasons. In this essay, I will discuss the obesity problem along with its causes. Finally, I will also offer possible solutions to help solve the worldwide obesity problem of the youth.*
I have to apologize but I cannot give you my email address. We have strict privacy rules at this forum and publicly sharing our email address in the discussion boards is not allowed. I am always available to assist you through this forum anyway. I am online almost 24.7 so if you need to ask a question or clarification, you are sure to get a response from me within the day. Just remember to write my name at the beginning of the thread so that I will know that you require my attention immediately. |
## Citizen's security
Nowadays, globally, people feel the insecurity of going out and even staying at home because there are uncertain events that cannot be anticipated.
There are several possible reasons for this problem. Firstly, Criminal Crimes such as rape, kidnapping, holdapping, homicide, murder, terrorist attacks and other oppressions. In detail, in the Philippines, these offensive crimes are rampant and associated with drug addiction by criminals who committed those violations. Furthermore, people with the influence of drugs are not able to think straight, do not have remorse and conscience of what they are doing and because of it, they engaged in an illegal act punishable by law. Secondly, Domestic Violence which is common among family members who went through it before. Moreover, it is tied to poverty, drug and alcohol abuse, and those with anger mismanagement. In addition, women and children are particularly the victims.
Lastly, Natural Calamities such as flood, earthquake and tsunami are commonly catastrophes encountered in my homeland. For instance, when Typhoon Yolanda strucked my hometown, it washed out the homes and properties there and because of that, many lost their homes, another example is the eruption of Mount Pinatubo at one area in my nation which killed hundreds of Filipinos.
Some potential solutions have been suggested, here are some of it. First, Government Authorities should increase the years of penalty for lawbreakers. Additionally, a group of individuals, especially women, should train in Martial Arts to defend themselves when encounter with attackers, and for minors, parents should teach them not to go and speak with strangers or accept anything from them. As well as, help them memorize their full name, address and emergency contact number for younger children, hence when they are lost, the Police Officers or good Samaritans will find this information useful in tracking right the child's location. Beside this, Law Enforcement should put security cameras in Public areas such as streets, bridges, near mall and other open spaces. Second, family members, particularly, the married couple should talk to a marriage counselor about their issues to address their problem, voice out their feelings and what is in their minds. Thus, communication is the key to understand each other and to avoid committing harm to one another, and also to create a harmonious relationship together. Yet, if there is already evidence of abuse and a threat to victims, another part of the family or neighbors or even the defender should report the abuser to the Police Department and rescue the victimized person or persons. Subsequently, DSWD (Department of Social and Welfare Development) could extend protection for children. Lastly, Media sectors should forecast news regarding upcoming natural tragedies in your area to prepare for immediate evacuation and rescue operations. Eventually, Government and Private Organizations should be ready to prepare relief goods for those who will be affected.
The world, the people of recent generation feel unsafe anymore, because of the unfortunate circumstances happening at the present and being diligent, cautious and ready we could protect ourselves from ill-fated incidents. | Yully-Anne, kindly post the complete, original IELTS task prompt that you are being asked to respond to in order for me to deliver a more accurate review of your work. I cannot deliver the scores for the individual band criteria unless I know exactly you are being expected to deliver the discussion of the topic. What you supplied is incomplete. It is also a violation of the forum rules because you did not come up with an original or interesting title for your essay. You cannot use the prompt topic for the title. Please remember not to violate that rule again because the other students here have found themselves suspended for such a violation. Now, let me offer you a general review of your essay.
The grammar seems to be acceptable. While there are sentence structure problems these did not deviate from your paragraph message. You have capitalization issues strewn throughout your essay. Meaning, you capitalize words such as "law enforcement" and "domestic violence", which are not proper nouns nor titles and are located within the middle of a sentence so these should not be capitalized in the presentation.
Your paragraphs run too long as well. You do not need to keep talking in an IELTS essay. You can present one or two problems and the solutions proposed instead. That way you are able to properly explain yourself and also fully develop the explanation in English for the examiner to consider. The score is not based on the length of the essay but rather, the quality of the content and proper grammar usage skills. |
Hey everyone!
I just finish writing, but I did not meet the 3 full pages requirement i am at 2 pages right now
I need help to expand and feel free to help me with grammar errors etc...
thank you
## Homelessness In The United States
According to an article in the New York Times magazine, about thirty-three percent of the United States population is homeless. I was astonished to read this article, that one-third of the population is homeless. It brought memories of the young man who has probably around the age of twenty-sevens, I met outside a gym building and asked me for some change. At the time, I did not have any money on me to give, so I felt bad. When I got home, I was thinking about him, being homeless at that age. So I did some research on why it is important to solve the homelessness problem in the United States. My findings led me to believe that, If the homelessness problem is not solved or at least moderated, it would lead to more aggressive panhandling, crimes, and spread of diseases.
Some homeless people are forced to panhandle stranger just to make it through the day.
Homeless people panhandle in different locations, such private businesses, public places, and residential areas. These activities are having an adverse effect on those locations. For example, private businesses will lose customers due to the aggressive panhandling. Public places such as libraries, the museum will also experience increased acts of panhandling. Residential areas also see more homeless people coming there to panhandle. The way to stop panhandling is providing more shelter and others programs that will help homeless people to get jobs and eventually become independent. Also, another problem is that of crimes.
Crimes such as robberies, physical fights among the homeless people, and illegal drug use are increasing. Robberies would increase as homeless people rob citizens and they are also victimized by younger criminals in a city where the crime rates are very high. Due to the fact that many shelters are over capacity, Many homeless people have no choice but to be outside. Being out there with no jobs, and no housing could affect homeless people adversely. So they start using illegal drugs for relief, and which makes them become drug addicts. Physical fights will increase and lead to deaths. As they struggle for territory and little resources. In addition to these problems, there are also health issues.
Diseases among homeless people can be easily transmitted to other people through water, air, and sex. Waterborne diseases will be transmitted through water fountains in public places. To reduce the spreading of these diseases, it is necessary to teach homeless people about the benefit of good hygiene. There are airborne diseases which will be transmitted in places such the subway and libraries. To prevent these disease from spreading, health officials should make sure that all homeless people are vaccinated. In addition, sexually transmitted diseases will be spread through reckless sexual activities. To address this problem homeless people should be provided and about the proper use of condoms. The public must also be informed about the danger of reckless sexual.
Aggressive panhandling, crimes, and disease will increase if the homeless problem in the United States is not solved or at least moderated. Communities will need to join together in order to help solve this problem. | You may also want to include in-text citations or quotes, properly referenced in your essay so that you can deliver even more accurate information in your essay. Using quotes to help explain your point helps to clarify the message or the paragraph as well. Have you tried writing a research essay that way before? Normally the citations also show the professor that you did a deep research on the topic and the information is accurate and not based on hearsay. For example, when you refer to the New York Times, you can include the actual quote from the report. This adding accuracy and word count in your essay. Which will directly contribute to fulfilling the 3 page requirement as well. Consider the posts of your paper where you can apply these quotes, if you wish to. See if you will like the end result of your essay presentation. |
**When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success. An toefl essay**
## Success = decent skills and determination + a bit of luck
I have to admit that luck is an important factor for the success of the successful man or celebrities. Lucky people can get the opportunity easily to show their talent or ability. These people are lucky dog. However no everyone has such good luck to get what they want. Such as some of them often encounter a plenty of difficulties and sometime become really frustrated.
As mentioned above, not everyone can has a chance to make their dream come true with ease. So strictly, I think hard work is the fundamental of the success. There were too many people who made their dream came true by the means of extremely hard work. Isaiah Thomas is a case in point. Isaiah Thomas was selected by Sacramento Kings with the final pick and he get few times to show his performance but he worked hard and trained hard so that he can be a start in each game. In sum effort are more important than you think, so if you got a dream, just strive and regardless of the talent or gift.
Though I mentioned that hard work is the necessary part of the final success even if we still can not ignore the luck factor. Luck can bring people the chance or opportunities and then people grasp it to exhibit their talent or show others what competence they have to finish the thing or job. For example, some read a plenty of books and can write an excellent article but no one offer him a platform to publish what he wrote. So everything he did in vain.
In a conclusion, both hard work and luck are quite important for people to success but seriously effort are the most important thing in a journey towards success. | Jan, the best way to practice sentence formation is to read more English based material. I do not mean articles written in English by your countrymen. What I mean is, you actually need to read English newspapers written by native speakers. So for American newspapers online, I suggest that you read the New York Observer, Lifezette, Time Magazine, National Geographic, and other online newspapers or magazines.The ones I mentioned are published in the United States and can be easily found online. These should help you become more familiar with the American way of writing and should help you develop your sentence structure skills and also become more familiar with idioms. If you want to practice using idioms and you want to learn the meaning, you can do a simple search for "American idioms", the results will lead you to websites that explain the most common ones and should help you to better understand the meaning behind the idiom so that you can use the most common ones properly next time. |
The prompt (word limit: 200-300)
***It is usually foolish to get married before completing your studies and getting established in a good job. Do you agree or disagree?***
I am trying to practice essay writing for PTE, please kindly help review. Thank you!
## marriage vs diploma
With the rapid development of the society more and more people are getting married before finishing studies and settling good job. Some are in favor of getting married before finishing studies is foolish, considering that there is no stable income source and the young students are not mature enough. But I disagree with that, in my opinion, by getting married in college the two people can benefit a lot from a range of measures, for example take responsibility, get closer and so on.
It is usually true that students do not have good income source and depend on parents financially, but this should not be an issue for getting married in college. The marriage is more about live together happily instead of money. Students have a lot of time to study together, build common interests and so on, all these will help them to strengthen the connection.
Moreover, getting married means the two people will take responsibility for each other and behave differently from before. Such change will get the couple to think and plan their future life and career more carefully, they can get mature during the process. The earlier the couple learn taking responsibility the better will they behave in the community, this in turn will benefit the society. And it is obvious nice having the two people study and discuss questions together, that can boost the efficiency of studying.
Taking considered measures, getting married in college should be supported and encouraged by the society, since it can benefit not only the two students but also the whole society. With more happy and good marriages in college were our life and the society to be better. | Ethan, please try to avoid rewriting the essay after you have been scored on it. You will not have a chance to submit a new essay once you have written one in the actual exam setting. The score for that will be final. No do-overs. So the same should apply to your practice tests. Once you fail in it, you fail. It should not be scored again because that will already be a fake score. Fake because you improved the essay based upon improvements suggested. You do not have that opportunity in the actual test. So, to help you, I will not score this test anymore because it is based upon the corrections that I suggested. What you have to do is this, take the lessons you learned from your mistakes in this essay and apply them to your future tests. You cannot keep writing the essay twice like I said because you do not have a chance to do that in the actual test. The practice test is meant to help you prepare for the actual exam setting. Therefore, the score you got for this practice test is final. Make sure to apply the lessons you learned from the mistakes in this essay in your next practice test.
The one thing that I will offer a correction on is the second sentence in your first paragraph. You made a statement by saying "I disagree with the notion" so it ends with a period. The next word should have been capitalized. That is a grammar issue that you should be conscious of. |
## The process of plastic production is illustrated in the given diagram.
The plastic production process is started when the raw materials are loaded from the oil refinery to the plant. Afterwards, the materials will be stored into a large container before being mechanically sent to a high pressure, long molecules of plastic are finally formed. The next step is that the plastic granules will be funneled to an injection moulder which is used to melt the plastic and force it into required moulds.
The hardened products will be carefully observed and inspected by the quality experts after the products are released from the moulder. Before being packaged in the a storehouse, if the products pass the inspection, they will be placed orderly on the conveyor belt to the package stage while the defected ones or wasted materials will be discarded. The complete stage is described when finished products can be packed into boxes and stored in the storehouse, ending the process of plastic production.
In conclusion, the plastic production process is relatively complicated with the aid of machinery, illustrating the major stages in plastic production. | Minh, where is the diagram and instructions for this task? It will be difficult for me to offer you the correct reviews and revisions, or point for improvement if I do not know what your instructions are and what the diagram looked like for this task. I suggest that you upload both to this thread as soon as you can so that I can get a better idea as to how I can help you improve your writing skills. Good work though on writing more than 150 words. However, your conclusion is too short and does not meet the minimum 3 sentence requirement meant to help you properly close the essay. You will lose points for that in the actual test. In the meantime, I will wait for the diagram so that I can better review the content of the first two paragraphs for you. Please post the instructions and the diagram as soon as a you can. Thank you. |
Hi! I am practicing on IELTS and I got this prompt:
The prompt says: **the quality of life in large cities is decreasing.What could be the reasons behind this?What measures can be taken to resolve this problem.**
## Reasons and possible solutions to make a life better
In the complex, industrial society nowadays, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing, making it a major problem to be dealt with. There are some underlying reasons that will be discussed in this essay and I will put forward some solution to tackle this situation.
Unemployment is the main reason behind this problem. Living in large cities, people always want to walk into a job. However, with an amount of numerous people, raising every year, securing a job is not easily. Therefore, an increasing number of those who is jobless daily transpire. People who have no career have to face a financial problem so their living's standard diminishes. Find decent accommodation with the small budget is difficult. They are not able to pay the rent which is much higher than countryside so they must live in tight and bad condition houses. It also enables them to eat the mass production of food with doubt resources which can have a bad impact on people's health. One can commit a crime if they have no money because they have to meet their basic needs. Not only those stuff but also they can't afford anything which gains to maximum the price.
There are so many ways to solve the problem of the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. One solution is that governments should pay attention to decentralize the jobs. They should build and invest in industry factories everywhere including countryside. If people seek an employment, have good working and the spectacular salary package, they won't move to large cities anymore. Not only does it solve that drawback but also it reduces the migration in bigger cities, which is increasing every year because of the lack of job in smaller town. It will improve people's living standard and relive stress about unemployment. Also, it reaches the balance between smaller town and big cities.
In conclusion, unemployment is the main reason that reduces the quality of life in large cities. However, these problems are solvable to a great extent. Governments just need to decentralize the jobs. | To, you are becoming sloppy with your paraphrasing. You did not even bother to try and paraphrase the prompt discussion. You merely cut and paste the central theme in your opening statement. That is unacceptable and will result in a low to failing task accuracy score. Why did you not even try to change the presentation? You obviously understood the prompt because you were able to discuss the relevant topics properly, although with a number of grammar problems, so you had the ability to easily paraphrase the prompt for discussion if you wished to. I am disappointed that you did not even try do that. While you could possible score a 5 overall in the essay as far as I am concerned, I am not sure how an actual examiner would score you due to the plagiarism involved in your opening statement. You would probably get a score within a 4-5, depending upon the more intricate details that the examiners use in scoring essays. |
## Cement and Concrete Production
Writing IELTS Task 1
The diagrams show the process of producing cement and making concrete which is raw material from cement for building purpose.
The first step of cement production is passing limestone and clay through a crusher that produces a powder. The powder is moved into the mixer. After mixing process, the product pass into rotating heater which is rotated with heat. The mixture goes out from rotating heater then pass into the grinder. The last process of the mixture, that is called the cement, is packed into bags.
The process of concrete production begins composite from cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and gravel. The gravel is small stones, which is the amount of a half from total materials. The mixture material passes into a concrete mixer, then rotated so that all mixed into one.
As mention above, the process of cement takes longer than concrete. Cement production requires heat in the process. Meanwhile, the production of concrete requires cement and other materials.
* | Anabel, the first paragraph does not completely give an overview of the cement and concrete making process. The outline is incomplete because the points of comparison, which are required by the prompt, are not clearly represented in the overview. You have to expand the summary information by at least 2 - 4 more sentences.
There is a redundancy or repetition in the second paragraph. When you say " the product passes through the rotating heater", there is no reason to repeat the words "rotated with heat" in the sentence. That is a redundancy or a method by which you say the same thing twice. That will lessen your GA score so avoid doing that.
Finally, since you are discussing a diagram. You can either discuss the diagram as something that is currently happening and use the present tense descriptions. Or, you can pretend it already happened and use the past tense descriptors. You cannot mix the two time lines in the essay. Pick one time line to discuss and use the appropriate presentation for it. |
TOPIC: **Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?**
## Every job for every one?
It's true that men are clearly better than women in some spheres and conversely women seem to be a lot more talented than males in particular areas. However, in my point of view, this cannot be a reason to assign jobs to only one gender group.
First of all, members of one gender can be more qualified for a job than those of the other sex in a broader sense, but in this flexible world we can encounter extraordinary exceptions. For example, politics is usually deemed to be male-dominated area, but the current leader of the German government represents the other gender. If working in management roles were prohibited for females, the women's natural flair for politics would have been left buried deep in her heart.
Secondly, the proportion of male and female workers in some jobs is not so huge (like 40 to 60 percent). And ,surely, one gender group seems to be more suitable for the profession due to their natural features. But if the members of the other sex didn't work in this field, the demand for this kind of personnel might not be met causing the wages to accrue and the businesses to suffer.
Furthermore, banning people having a career in a particular field may sometimes terminate their burning desire and interest to work and succeed in that sphere. Considering that hard work and a strong wish can beat talent, blocking their way because the job is more efficiently done by representatives of the other gender wouldn't be a plausible option. As a result, society may lose a great prospect in that person.
In conclusion, people have very distinctive sentiments about the never-ending debate on whether or not people should be excluded from a job because of their gender and its more problematic sides are yet to be discovered. But, for me, specifying jobs for a particular gender may not be such a fabulous idea in that it can affect the labour market and some really talented individuals of an 'unsuitable' gender will have no chance fulfilling their potential in a prohibited area. | Your outline should be based upon the prompt requirements. So the prompt requirement is for you to discuss whether men and women should be excluded from certain jobs due to gender. The outline of the discussion should go something like this:
I. Prompt summary
a. Paraphrasing prompt
b. Present both sides
c. Present personal opinion
II. Present Side A
a. Public opinion
b. Justification
c. Example
III. Present Side B
a. Public opinion
b. Justification
c. Example
IV. Present Personal Opinion
a. Opinion
b. Justification
c. Example
V. Conclusion
a. Present new paraphrased prompt
b. Present both sides in summary form
c. Present personal opinion summary
d. Closing sentence |
## More and more young people are leaving school but unable to find job (IELTS)
Nowaday unemployment rate is highly increasing and is ever-growing issue over the entire world, particularly among the young people. There are so many factors are closley linked to the matter of increasing the number of jobseekers. Lacking of academic qualification, absence of work experience and soft skills and having a great competition in the labour market are the main factors. I would like to enlighten each factors in the following paragraph.
It is a matter of fact, those youngester that are coming out of schools or dropped out , they are having struggle in starting to find a secure job. It is clear, teenagers are in the stages of development, they do not have enough life skills , which are requirement for so many positions. Having soft skills, get on with other people, self\_confidence, self\_control or resillence are not enough seen in young people. As a result, the can not be successful in the interview of job vacancies.
In addition, the labour market is very competitive. Getting employment or career will be so difficult without having any experience or academic qualification. However, the low skilled works are decreased in todays society, due to accelerating pace of life and technological advancement. Meanwhile, so many labor works are currently automated because of machinery development.Hence, need for human force are declined.
Furthermore, absence of recruitment could have bad consequence on an individual and on the society as a whole. Increasing the rate of jobseekers and unemployment may leave bad impact on the community in long term. Rising the rate of crimes and violence are indirectly attributed to this issue. Where as, providing the young people with training courses and teaching them rquirement skills. As well as, They should be well prepared by the government via compulsory courses, by allocating specific budget for tackling this turmoil among the school leavers.
In conclusion, unemployment is inevitable issue in the society, especially among school leavers. It can not be deeply rooted. The causes at least can be partially solved by the government and the authorities. | The main problem with your essay is the opening statement. It does not contain the correct information. The opening statement is supposed to do a number of things:
1. Present a paraphrased version of the prompt for the benefit of the reader.
2. Present the outline of your discussion without offering any actual information yet.
3. Assure the reader that the essay will conform to the requirements of the discussion.
What you did was, you presented immediate information in the opening statement. That is not how it is done. You can offer clues as to the discussion that is to take place, but not offer the actual topics for discussion yet. So you need to learn how to hold back some information when writing your opening statement. The rest of your essay delivers as best as it can in terms of the discussion. Grammar problems abound but do not cause too much undue stress on the reader. So I guess that the lowest grade this essay can get will be a 5. |
Hy guys, I just posted my Task 2 English Writing Skill in order to take an Ielts test. Your positive and advice are needed. Sorry for a mistakes that i made, thank you.
Question :
**It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?**
Answer :
## only soft punishment is suitable for children
Some people think that through a punishment, children can realize what they must do; know whether is right and wrong. Unfortunately, it can harm and furthermore damage their mental or body. Those who disagree point out that in terms of educating the children we must give a good & moral approach rather that give a punishment. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss how to educate a children without treated a punishment and kind of punishment that appropriate for a children.
To help children understand whether is right and wrong as a parents we must pay attention and give a guidance through their activity. For example, children who watched television don't know which program is suitable for their age. We can decided a program that appropriate like cartoon or educational games supported with parental guidance to support their growth.
Another way we must do to educate an offspring instead of giving a punishment is through our habit. Children will differed and copied our habit as they saw it. For example, if we entering a room we always give a greeting for a whole family including the children. In the following moments, the children will practiced a same things and it can influence their behavior. Then they will realize which one is good and bad. Despite treating a punishment we got another choice to educate a children through a guidance, advice and providing a good example. It can accelerated their understand to do a right things.
Nevertheless, punishment allowed only for a children who argued and break their limit or make a multiple mistakes. Even the punishment allowed, doesn't mean that we can do a harsh punishment. In terms of educating a children, a soft punishment is recommended rather than harsh punishment. Soft punishment only focusing to treat their habit and give an understand through a strict way. For example, if an offspring spend a whole day on their gadget and forgetting their responsibility, we can put away a gadget on a week day and allowed it on a week end. Suported with advice and positive activity. And harsh punishment can damaged their mental and body and affected their growth.
To conclude with, in order to educate an offspring as a parent we can provide a whole attention and give a guidance through their activity. Punishment is allowed if they argued & make a mistake and only soft punishment is suitable for this age. | Riyan, this is a faulty discussion of the prompt. For starters, your paraphrased topic is not in line with the original prompt. You lack a personal opinion presentation and you did not clearly indicate which side yo will be supporting in the essay. In relation to that, this is not supposed to be written as a comparison essay. Which is what you wrote. The instruction of the prompt indicates that you are to pick one side that you agree with and base the whole essay discussion upon only 2 topics. The first topic will be the opinion you have regarding punishment based upon the provided information. The second topic, should be all about the kind of punishment that you believe children should be served for any wrong doing. One that will be appropriate enough to teach them a lesson. Then justify why you think this kind of punishment will work. As you can see, your essay does not follow this line of information presentation. It is actually performing a different task than the one assigned by the prompt. So this essay will not get a passing score in an actual test. |
**people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Are disadvantages of this requirement greater than the benefits for the community and individuals?**
## not only fun - youngsters at work
Voluntary work by young people has its own positive and negative aspects. In fact, studing is the main task of teenagers to prepareing their homwork. Being involved in unpaid work could have some influence on their academic performance negatively . Despite of having some drawbacks, it could have some advantages for the individual and the society as a whole. Before proposing my opnion, i would like to clarrify the multiview of this statement in the following argumentative paragraphe.
It is a matter of debate that exposing young people to work enviroment could potentially have a unhealthy consequence on their behaviour. The possibilites of being exploited by the employers and possibly abused by other adult co-workers could leave serious impact on their personality. As well as, the youngsters are more vulnerable to be involved in the world of crime and drug abuse via interacting with other people out of their peer group. It is realistic, students have plenty of pressure of studing , having time for leisure activities and sport are needed to combat this type of stress.
In addition, it is considered that involving young people in unpaid work would prevent them from learning bad habits such as smoking and drug addiction. However, students can hone crucial life skills , time managment skill and get the work placement experience, which is wholly beneficial for their future careers. Meanwhile, it is a great opportunity to make a choice among various kinds of works, and students can gradually improve their abilities in an indicating job , which they are interested in. These advantages could have advantages for the society on long term.
To conclude, i consider that the young people should not be obliged to do unpaid work. The main option in their life should be their study and work hard to get academic achievement. Their sparetime should be advocated for entertaiment and sport activities. | Runaki, you have failed the overall task accuracy for this test. That is because you improperly represented the discussion in your paraphrasing / overview paragraph as well as in your conclusion. Let us not even begin to point out the haphazard way that you wrote this essay. The careless in your spelling, the way that you did not even bother to proof read for errors in your work, and the way that you just did not seem to care to pass this practice test by treating it like an actual exam, has resulted in an overall failure of your scores for this test.
It is important Runaki, that you treat this test as you would the actual test because this is the only time you will have to make mistakes and perfect your possible score to the best of your abilities. This essay does not show any attempt on your part to achieve at least passing scores for most of the 4 criteria that you will be judged on. For your sake, I will not even tell you what possible score you can get for this work because I do not want to be unfair to you. I want to give you another chance to write the next practice test in the proper manner. Treat it like the real test. If you can pass the series of practice tests, your possibility of passing the actual test becomes better. |
**Writing IELTS Task 1\_Causes of Worldwide Land Degradation**
## soil quality is decreasing
The pie chart described the degradation of agricultural land productivity in the worldwide. Coverage areas are North America, Europe, and Oceania. In the world, Over-grazing became the biggest cause, it contributes 35% of total causes. The cutting or burning of the tree (deforestation) caused three-tenth of degradation. Twenty-eight percent has caused by over-cultivation. There was just 7% by others.
Five percent land of North America has decreased the quality of the soil. Over-cultivation was a major role, that was equal to 3.3%. Other causes were 1.5% from over-grazing and 0.2% from deforestation. Almost one-fourth of total land in Europe has degraded. Europe had the biggest percent of land degradation. Approximately 10% (exactly 9.8%) land degraded by cutting or burning of the tree. Over-cultivation and over-grazing are each 7.7% and 5.5%. The last region is Oceania, including Australia and New Zealand. In this region, just deforestation and over-grazing, each amount of 11,3% and 1,7%.
* | Anabel, while you did write a little over 150 words, you failed to produce at least 3 paragraphs for this essay. So there is a structural problem in terms of the way that you developed the discussion. The minimum paragraph requirement is 3 paragraphs. So you would score lower in terms of grammar range and accuracy. You may also score less in terms of task accuracy in this case because of the shortness of the discussion. It delivers the impression that you were mechanical in terms of writing this essay. You did not really bother to try to expand on the presentation to try and improve your lexical resource along with the coherence and cohesiveness of your essay. While all of the information that you were given was represented in the essay, I don't think that you can score higher than a 5 with this particular essay. I base that score on the problems that I mentioned earlier in my comments. There are also notable grammar problems that created sentence structure problems.
Examples of the sentence problem include, but is not limited to;
*"... land productivity in the worldwide."*
the proper presentation of that sentence should have omitted the part that says "in the" it should only be *"... productivity worldwide."*
That said, you did not do a bad job of representing the information in the essay. So you would probably get a passing score for this work, even with the existing problems of the essay. |
Hi, I am practicing the writing test for IELTS, would you please give me some comments for my works?
In addition, I am not sure if I can present the data in the form of "has rose from 30-35%, 15-20% and 10-15% respectively." and "the percentage has fell into a half from 2000 (20%) to 2010 (10%)" is correct. Also, I do not know if the tenses I used is correct.
Thank you very much!
Question:
**The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**
Answer:
## Which foreign languages British students know?
The charts report the percentage of British students who can speak various languages in a particular university in 2000 and 2010 respectively.
Looking at the students who can speak Spanish only, another language and two other languages first. It can be observed that there is a 5% increase for each group of students from 2000 to 2010. From 2000 to 2010, the percentage of students who can speak Spanish only, another languages and two other languages has rose from 30-35%, 15-20% and 10-15% respectively.
With regard to students who can speak French only and no other language, the percentage of students result a falls from 2000 to 2010. For students who cannot speak other languages, the percentage has fell into a half from 2000 (20%) to 2010 (10%). For students who can speak French only, the percentage has dropped from 15% in 2000 to 10% in 2010.
For the students who can speak German only, the percentage keep unchanged at 10% in 2000 and 2010.
According to the above data, it can be found that over 80% and 90% of British students can speak at least two kinds of languages in 2000 and 2010 respectively. Furthermore, around one-third of the students can speak Spanish which leads Spanish to become the most common second language for British students in both 2000 and 2010.
* | Janice, this is supposed to be written as a pie chart comparison. Therefore, it would be best to write 2 body paragraphs which indicate the complete information from 2009 and then from 2010, using a transition sentence at the end of the 2009 paragraph to connect the two years in information presentation.
Your paraphrasing doesn't follow the required format of at least 3 sentences per paragraph. That is because you failed to include information about the English language as indicated in the original prompt. Always double check your paraphrased prompt for information. Make sure that you represent the all the required information in the overview before you move on to the body and concluding paragraphs.
Your tense usage needs work. All of the information contained in this essay should follow the past tense presentation because these events, studies, and percentage research has already been completed. Therefore, the past form of presentation will be required all throughout the essay. Let me correct the sentences that you are worried about to show you an example of how to write it.
*Looking at the students who can speak Spanish only, another language or two languages, a clear 5 % increase for each student group was represented in the years 2000 to 2010.This represented a rise of 30-35%...*
In the section about German language you could have said *" the percentage WAS unchanged..."* .
Then in the final paragraph it should have said "... British students spoke...", with the work spoke taking the place of "speak" in the paragraph since we are dealing with past presentations here.
Do the free online tense usage exercises. That should help to train you regarding the proper use of tenses in relation to written work. Add it to your essay exercises. Combined, the two should help to improve your grammatical accuracy score in future essays. |
## computer games and kids
People have their own preferred type of entertainment, and each one has its's own appeal. Computer games are one of those and it is now one of the biggest brach in the entertainment business. In my opinion, playing computer games is not a waste of time. I feel this way basically for two reasons that I will explore on the following essay.
To begin with, playing videogames can develop one\'s overall knowledge and culture, which are two things kids seeks but are difficult to achieve in some more traditional and passive manner like books or classes. On a more engaging and interactive scenario, computer games have a much more appealing approach and can be a much more easy and pleasurable way to teach the often curious mind of a children. My own experience is a good example of this. When I was very young, I already played a lot of videogames. In the beginning it was only some actions to repeat and buttons to press. But as the games was evolving and I was getting older, they began to have more complex design and often you would had to read and listen to english instructions to complete a given task or even understand the whole story. On that sense, I've got my first english classes while trying to complete some games. It is incredible how I was motivated to finish a virtual game that also brought an curiosity and determination to understand another language and increase on my overall culture and knowledge.
Furthermore, while purposing new situations and challenge, a game could train and improve a person's cognitive system, which a children can profit in a more relevant way. Nowadays games are being used in many more forms than just entertainment. It is used in a school to help children with math, in a job interview to help evaluate candidate's logical capability and in some services to help train users' cognitive memory. As I said above, I played a lot of videogames in my young age. In that matter, it helped me with logical puzzles and decision making situations. Also, it can help you train your mind into stressful situations while you play your way through some timed tasks. It can assist the development of those skills in any gamer but children would most benefit from this since their brains are more susceptible for learning new abilities.
In conclusion, I strongly think computer games are not waist of time, specially for children. This is because it can help improve one's culture and knowledge and it can improve people's cognitive system. | Wow! Json, you blew this discussion out of the water! What an almost perfect discussion you presented in defense of your opinion. The fact that you use a personal example in defense of your belief, and in such an accurate manner, will definitely increase your task accuracy score. The grammar corrections also helped to boost your score in the GRA section. Now, while there are still some parts that do not have perfect sentence development due to some mistakes in sentence formation, this version does not cause any undue stress on the reader. Your discussion, while showing some grammar problems, comes across clear and understandable in terms of content. So no worries there. I would score this essay a 6 overall. Word of advice, please work on developing your past tense usage skills. Practice those in order to help you better establish your time line discussions in your essay. For example when you said "*But as the games was evolving..."* , the correct presentation would have been *"... the games evolved..."* |
The proportion of elder people aged 65 and over in three different regions of world is illustrated in the graph recorded since 1940 and predicted until 2040. Overall, USA and Sweden are tightly closed in numbers, whereas the trend itself showing upward.
Since 1940, the gap difference between USA and Sweden were about 3 percent that led by USA of 10 percent. It then continued to narrowed each other while they were both increased gradually for the next 5 decades, before they initially intersected together at 15 percent. Whereas Japan also seemed closed at beginning with Sweden about 2 percent differences, in forward to fluctuation that happened in 2000.
After the intersection, Sweden has been increased dramatically till the present and is predicted to reached 25 percent in 2040, while USA seemed constant before it will sharply increase in 2020 to reach a peak close in 2040. However, the percentage of old people from Japan has been steadily increased to 8 percent in present days and will rocket up between 2020 to 2040 reaching about 28 percent.
* | Fadhil, you have written a very interesting report. It is not mechanical in nature because it shows a clear analysis of the information provided. Although, your opening statement was short as it requires a minimum 3 sentences to accurately represent a complete thought process in a paragraph. You could have expanded on the statement about the upward trend for the third sentence by showing the placement of the countries in terms of the upward trend. Who was in first, second, and third place would have made the opening statement more complete in information presentation.
I am sure that you only overlooked the fact that the tightest point of intersection for the percentage points was at 20% while the three countries began to intersect, information wise, at 15 %. You could have missed that if you did not enlarge the image and only reviewed the minimal version of the chart. Congratulations on writing 177 words. You used more than the minimum word requirement and that certainly helped you to create this informative chart.
Your ability to analyze the given information as accurately as possible is well reflected and you managed to cover almost all the important information of the essay. Any grammar problems involved did not really matter because you still presented an understandable summary of the given chart information. I think you would score anywhere from a 5-6 for your work in this essay. |
hi! I am practicing IETLS and I got this prompt
**More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? how can these problems be solved?**
## the consequences of 'over-presence' of cars on the roads
Nowadays, an increasing number of the usage of private cars has been controversy. It is agreed that increasing use of vehicles is contributing to air pollution and certain the lack of resources. While some negative consequences are unavoidable, government and individuals can take steps to address the problems.
There are many problems connected with an increasing in the usage of private cars. One problem is that it has a bad impact on our environment such as air pollution. Exhaust fumes from vehicles have been produced by cars every day, so Greenhouse Effect becomes aggravate. Consequently, the temperature of the earth is much hotter and the sea level is increasing. Not only do people must suffer from disasters such as earthquake, flood, tidal wave but also the life's quality is diminishing, which people must be responsible for. Running out of fossil fuels like petrol and diesel is another issue. The overconsumption of natural resources has a bad effect on the civilians. The cost of natural resources will be much higher if the overconsumption of natural resources is going to raise the few decades. Because governments are not able to produce fossil fuels.They have to import them from other countries and raise the price of civilian's duty.
Solving an increasing in the usage of private cars problem is really important. Firstly, governments have to improve public transportation's standard as soon as possible. Using public transportations are one of the solutions to reduce an increasing in the usage of private cars. In fact, so many people think that public transportations which are not fast as private cars and really dirty. Therefore, governments ensure that civilians benefit from using it. Secondly, carpooling is another option. People who work in the same office can share car journeys.
In conclusion, improving public transportations and carpooling is the best solution to an increasing number of the usage of private cars. If we work together, we can overcome this serious threat. | To, in the opening statement, you should not present a reason in the discussion. You should only offer an overview or give an outline of the topics you will be discussing as per the prompt requirement. So the inclusion of air pollution and lack of resources should not be included in the first paragraph. Instead, just say that you will be discussing the problems associated with the increase of car usage in the succeeding paragraphs.
In the second paragraph, you accidentally associated car use with global warming. While there is a connection, it is very difficult to prove that global warming, as you discussed it is a direct result of increased car usage. Since you provided 2 problems caused by car use, focus on the more believable and easily justifiable discussion instead, air pollution. In these types of essays, presenting one solid and concentrated discussion of a reason is more effective than offering 2 topics for discussion. One of the two will become under developed and useless in the essay. In this case, the cause that become ill effective in the discussion was air pollution, which is the more commonly associated result of increased car usage.
The reference to car pooling and improving public transportation should be discussed as a fully paragraph. This is a new topic for discussion and must therefore, be thoroughly developed and strengthened in reasoning and presentation prior to the conclusion. The conclusion should only close the essay by repeating the information in the opening statement, along with the discussed topics and your own opinion if required, as a recap of the previous discussion. |
## analysis of the pie charts - Ielts task
The pie charts described the percentage of school spending in the United Kingdom during 3 separate decades: 1981, 1991, and 2001. Teacher's salaries dominate expenditure of schools spending and Insurance always be a small part of every decade.
Percentage of teacher's salaries increased to a half of total spending in 1991 and has descended to 45% in 2001. Furniture and equipment fell dramatically from 15% to 5% and rose extremely in the amount of 18% for next ten years. Resources spent 15% of total budget, became to one-fifth on UK school budget in 1991, and descended just to 9% in 2001. Other workers' salaries continue to decline from 28% to 22% or almost one-fifth part of total expenditures, and the last became 15%. In contrast to other workers'salaries, insurance has increased every decade, although it is not very significant. It began from 2%, rose 1%, and became 8% or almost one-tenth in 2001.
* | Anabel, this essay still contains the same paragraph problem your previous essay had. Please try to write more than 153 words in order to improve your lexical resource,cohesiveness and cohere, and task accuracy score. The mechanical nature of your writing is fast becoming a problem for you. You need to actually spend time reviewing the chart and discovering the best way to present it. Divide the 20 minutes into 2. 10 minutes to review the information and 10 minutes to write your report. That way you truly get to analyze the information provided and allow yourself enough time to develop an essay that can best reflect your understanding of the information. For instance, did you even notice that the best way to write this essay was to write a comparison of the years involved covering the same items of expenditure? That would show a clear analysis of the information and would allow you to develop a better and more interesting presentation for the information. Try to make the presentation a bit more interesting and creative. Go beyond just what the information before you is. Think of how you can deliver the information in a more interesting , engaging, and informative manner. |
## Gender discrimination topic
Although women have against sex discrimination for hundreds of years but in some places, the preconception about working ability of women still exist in some employers. They promulgate many distinct criteria for male and female performance and it unintentional creates a barrier for women and limit their ability. I don't think we should encourage this actions because of 3 aspects - psychology, sociology and economy.
From the psychology view, the action creating different standards for male and female synonyms the employers had the preconception about sexual. We can't refuse some jobs men work better than women such as in the engineer, athletic or some physical requirement jobs. However, we can't assure that women is impossible to do that. In 1800s, no one though women can work in the science, especially in radioactive materials; as the result, no women worked in that field until the day Marie Curie was awarded unwillingly by Nobel Committee. No one can imagine she can win the Nobel Prize for twice with the major not for women - radioactive chemistry. If Marie Cutie was affected by preconception like other women, we wouldn't have that great discovery for science. Sometimes, because of the psychology barrier, many humans is limited their ability and the distinct criteria of sexual is the mental barrier for women capability.
In the sociology, we spent the hundreds of years for against sexual discrimination and got many achievements. Today, we have more and more women responsible for an important positions such as President of Germany, Defense Minister of Japan or managers of many corporations. That is the consequence of the refractory debate for women. Accepting the sexual discrimination synonyms that we refuse all of overcome from that fight. For the long-term, this will cause more and more serious consequences for the thoughts of the future generations also society upheaval.
The economy side have a little relative with biology. We all acknowledge about evolution theory of Darwin which discusses about adapted ability of animal includes human. In evolution theory, when we face to the difficult circumstance, we will adjust ourselves to adapt the environment. Similar to the working environment, when women face with the tough problem, they have to modify and develop themselves to appropriate with employer's criteria in case they don't want to be fired. If employer limit the working ability of a part of humans and they can't predict those have ability for creative or not, they will lose the opportunity to develop and increase their company from contribution of that part of humans. Human distinct is going forward and they will alter themselves to adapt environment, if the employer still keep the the different norm for male and female performance, they will decrease creative capability of a half of their staff and the profit of company.
In the fact, for some jobs men get more advantage than women. However, if the employers still keep the sexual discrimination criteria, they not only create the psychology barrier for woman and diminish the creative ability of female staffs as the company's profit but also destroy the social development. That is the reasons why I don't agree with the different standards for male and female performance.
@Holt : Hope you give me some advice for this essay. | Thuy, is this essay for a research paper, English class, or English test? Please let me know if this is an ordinary research paper or IELTS, TOEFL, or some other test and add the prompt for it as well. Right now, I'll just give you a general review of your problem points. You should make sure that your word usage is clear and relative to the meaning you wish to convey. For example, you confuse the reader when you say "women synonym". To a native English speaker, the phrase does not make sense. It causes stress because the reader cannot figure out what you want to say in the sentence. This affects the whole paragraph and, when the confusing term is repeatedly used, affects the overall message and understanding of the essay. Other examples of this problem in the essay are, "The economy have a little relative side to biology...", "Human distinct is going forward", to name a few more examples of the problem. You also should pay particular attention to your spelling, specially of historical names such as Madam Curie, not Cuty. The other grammar errors are negligible when you consider the more serious problems of the essay. I hope to see grammar improvements from you as you progress with your practice tests. |
**These days, too many people maintain their health by relying doctors and medicines, rather than following a healthy lifestyle.
to what extent do you agree with the statement ?**
## be your own doctor
In the cutting-edge era, most people deem that it is better for themselves to maintain their healthy condition by implementing a healthy lifestyle than consulting with their doctors or consuming certain medicines. I hold an opinion that keeping fit needs a collaboration between medicine consumption and doctor's advice.
It is undeniable that medical practitioners have a pivotal role for maintaining health in society. Albeit people could manage healthy by themselves, the advent of doctors is still important to give health supports for the patients. In fact, every single patient has certain unique conditions in which they have to consider an appropriate method of healthy lifestyle to be implemented. For instance, it could be harmful when someone who suffers anemia limiting red meats consumptions due to healthy lifestyle. The lifestyle instead deteriorates their body resulting in detrimental effects because of lack of irons and minerals. Irons is essential for human body especially for anemic people. Consulting a proper lifestyle first with a doctor will be paramount so that the people could know what a suitable diet instead of decreasing the amount of irons nutrients
On the other hand, even though a healthy lifestyle could encourage people to be fit, the advent of non-essential vitamin, minerals, and other medicines is imperative for supporting health condition. Not all of healthy foods and beverages has a wide range of nutritions, instead the supplements could make a daily intake in balance way. it is known that a few vegetables contains vitamin B, furthermore, the people could consumpt the vitamin from other sources to meet a daily requirements. Consequently, a healthy lifestyle could be achieved optimally.
In conclusion, it seems plausible that the people do not solely rely a healthy lifestyle to maintain their body to become health. The medical advice advice is still important to be considered for achieving a appropriate lifestyle owing to fact that each person has different means of healthy lifestyle. Moreover, consumpting supplements such as vitamins and minerals is indispensable dealing with shortage of nutrition | Reza, was the topic prompt that you provided complete? I mean, did you cut and paste the actual instructions or did you post a shortened version of the prompt when you submitted your essay for review? The reason that I ask is because the discussion that you followed for the essay does not meet the stated requirements of the prompt. You did a comparison essay when you should have been writing a one sided, opinion essay in response to the prompt. That is why I am not so sure that the prompt requirement that you submitted is complete. More so, that is also the reason why I feel confused by the way that you wrote your response. There are a number of aspects, such as the comparison between a healthy lifestyle compared to doctors and medicine that leave me questioning the validity of your prompt. As such, the essay that you wrote does not successfully represent a persuasive essay, which is the type of essay that you were expected to provide based upon the prompt requirements. If these are the actual prompt requirements that is. Please post the original prompt. Cut and paste it into the response window to satisfy my curiosity. I want to make sure that I give you the most accurate review of your essay based upon the prompt requirements. Thanks. |
IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Hi! I am practicing on IELTS Writing.
**Nowadays, people get information through news and papers, but meanwhile are uncertain about the truth of these news.**
*Should we believe the journalists?
What qualities should a good journalist or correspondent have?*
## Legit and fake stories
Today, mass media provide a lot of information for society through newspapers and electronic news yet the validity is still doubted. This essay will discuss about how far people can trust the journalists and what credibility a journalist should have.
It is undeniable that journalism activity has delivered a vast information to society. However, people should not totally believe the information or news that is delivered by journalists. It is because today there are a lot of competition among those journalistic workers to reach the best rating view or to be the fastest to provide news. Because of the competition, they then tend to do everything including manipulating the data to make the information sound more sensational or delivering the information as fast as they can without doing deep observation and interview to ensure the validity of the data. It results in the invalidity of the data and information they spread to people.
Every kind of profession requires certain qualities, so does journalism. The fundamental characteristics that journalists should have are being neutral and independent. Journalistic workers should be neutral and should not take a side of any group. By doing so, they can cover both sides and looking at any angles of a phenomenon before presenting it into the news form. Moreover, they should be independent from any pressure and interest of any group so they can be free to report any occurance and fact as it is without intervense from any party.
To conclude, people should clarify the rightness of an information and should not totally trust what journalists report. Furthermore, a good correspondent should have independency and neutrality in accomplishing their task. | Ainun, your opening statement would have been made stronger if you had immediately acknowledged your response to the question as to whether journalists should be trusted or not. After all, that was one of the main points for discussion presented in the prompt. So the overview of your response should have been included in the paraphrased question accompanied by the outline of your discussion in the opening statement. This would have made the rest of the discussion your essay stronger and better supported by the opening statement. In the qualities that a good journalist should have, you forgot to include the most important quality which is, journalists should be reliable when it comes to fact-checking their information before publication. Don't forget that the reports of journalists today are in question because of the advent of fake news so that would actually have been the strongest quality that could have been discussed in your essay. It would have also helped to increase your lexical resource score because you would have used the term "fact checking" in the correct manner in your essay. |
**TOPIC: Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**
## Huge chain stores vs small, local shops
It can be seen commonly in many parts of the world nowadays that rapid growth of super markets are affecting local businesses. Some people are of the opinion that this phenomenon would be a threat to the existence of local communities. While I agree that it would cause some level of damage to the existing domestic businesses and thus the local society, I also believe some would still be able to survive amid this increasing pressure.
To begin with, undoubtedly , large scale multi-national supermarkets pose a great threat to livelihood of many community businesses. Firstly, many people , nowadays, opt for buying products and services from super markets due to their attractive marketing strategies, better customer care services and appealing outlook of the products. Consequently, many local markets are losing many of their regular customers as they are unable to face this increased competition.
Secondly, many locals are finding new employment opportunities at large industries with attractive salary and many other benefits. This also causes much damage to the local product manufacturers as they are unable to find skilled labor to run their businesses.
However, some small scale industries have been able to survive despite the pressure being created by large scale businesses. The most important reason is that many native people still prefer to buy locally made products owing to their high quality and low price. And they have been using these product for a long time and thus they are well aware about usability and durability etc. For instance, many Sri Lankan made costumes are still the best choice among Sri Lankan community as they are made of high quality materials and to suit the weather conditions in Sri Lanka. The other reasons is that local product sellers are finding easy marketing methods on the internet which can reach much wider audience for a low price. For instance , many community business are now using Facebook, Twitter, Google to raise people's understanding about various local product offerings , their prices and quality . As a result, those industries are now attracting more and more local and international customers than they did before.
In conclusion, although it is true that growth of supermarkets are increasingly becoming a threat to the domestic markets , some local industries are still in existence owing to new cheap marketing strategies and strong local customer base. Therefore , I am not convinced that growth of big business would bring about the extinction of local business and the community. | Kapila, when you are asked to write this sort of essay, it is important that you follow the prompt. That is, you either have to agree or disagree with the statement. You cannot be in agreement with both sides. This essay instruction is quite clear about it, only one side must be presented in the discussion throughout. So this means that while you mention both sides in the paraphrased introduction, you will need to end that paragraph with a clear statement about your agreement or disagreement with the presentation. From that point, the essay should only justify your opinion of the matter. The succeeding paragraphs need to present a clear line of thinking and relevant evidence either from personal experience or knowledge, that will help to further strengthen your stance. Remember, this sort of essay is meant to test you analytical discussion skills. That is why you are being asked to take one side of the issue to defend. Therefore, your essay does not meet the prompt requirements and as such, would not get a passing task accuracy score. That in turn, will endanger the possibility of you passing the test. Your current essay discussion would only work in a discuss both opinions with personal opinion statement, which this is not. |
**These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**
## People are too lazy to be healthy
Nowadays, people tend to ignore the way of healthy life and both medical treatments and practitioners are used by them to manage their health. Personally, I agree with the former statement because nowadays people occupations are mostly worker which are very busy with their businesses and choose the easiest way for their daily life such as consume fast food and lack of exercise, so it is clearly that the dependency of people to the doctors and medicine is increase rather than following the way of healthy life.
Focusing on the job is one of the crucial factors that causing people does not have much time to maintain their daily routines such as food consumption and less exercise and it becomes a new bad habit for them. Consuming fast food is chosen as the best alternative because the simplicity and they can consume anywhere and anytime while sitting for several hours to finish their job. Consequently, they suffer some serious illnesses such as diabetes because the accumulation of saturation fat on fast food and lack of exercise.
To overcome the problems, doctors and medical treatments are the best solution for them to manage even cure their illnesses. What the common fact they do is hire nutritionists to maintain their food while they still lack of exercise. People also go to the doctor if they will suffer and get prescription to buy some medicine to make their body fit.
Taking everything into consideration, albeit doctors and medical treatments help people who suffer illnesses and help them to maintain their lifestyle such as food and keep body health, avoid unhealthy lifestyle is the most important preventive action to cope up with health problems. | Reza, your opening statement is confusing because you did not structure the first sentence coherently. You should have used the words "in favor of" when referring to the choice of people to go to doctors and take medicines instead of changing their lifestyle. Sometimes, all it takes is the correct phrase to clear up any confusion in a sentence. That is the case with your opening statement. If you set the opening sentence properly, then the confusion could have been easily avoided. Personally, I understood what you had to say in the successive paragraphs because, while there was a little stress in reading your paragraphs, you somehow got the message across to the reader. Like I said, it was only your opening statement that created the confusion. The rest of the essay really came very close to providing coherent and cohesive details of your opinion. This is not a bad first attempt at writing a Task 2 essay. Keep practicing and we will keep helping you improve your writing skills. |
Please help me to asses my writing, thank you
## 3D technology during 2005 to 2012
The given line graph illustrates the number of screen especially 3D cinema while the bar chart depicts the number of movies that release (live action and animation) during 2005 to 2012. At the first glance, the increase in 3D screens worldwide are marked by the raise of 3D film releases and both of them have an upward trend.
It can be seen clearly that the number of screens especially 3D cinema stood at approximately below 1,000 in the end of 2005 and was going to increase gradually to just over 2,000 in the last 2008. The most interesting fact is that between 2009 and 2011, there was a sharp increase in 3D screens from 5,000 to almost 40,000 and they reached a peak at the end of 2012.
Moreover, the trend of bar graph had a similar trend with the line graph. Animation films in 3D began at 2005 which had 2 films release until 2007. Between 2008 and 2012, the animation started to increase gradually from 5 to just over 20 movies release. On the other hand, 3D live action film became well-known during 2009 to 2012 and these were soaring from 20 to just over 70 respectively.
* | Gigih, I believe that there was a better way to write this essay which would have improved your overall scores. That would have been to write a comparison of the information stated within the bar and line graphs. In every paragraph, you could have done a year by year analysis or quarterly analysis of the provided information which would have resulted in a more accurate and interesting comparison report in your summary. By writing the summary in your format, you ended up omitting the proper comparison angle as indicated in the prompt. That is also why your essay ended up being so short when it came to presenting detailed information. When you have two charts provided, it is always best to do a year by year or quarterly comparison of the information so that the reader can obtain the most related information in the most coherent and cohesive manner. I hope that you can implement that writing style in your next practice test that provides 2 types of graph for comparison reporting. |
**Some people think that children should learn to compete, but others think they should be taught to co-operate so they could become more useful adults. Give your opinion**
## Competing or co-operating?
With the advancement of the technology, everything, as well as our way of lives, has changed. In retrospect, we can see our ancestry co-operated for surviving, whilst the people are prone to reveal to be successful as there is no apparent danger for people's life. Whether children should be taught to compete or co-operate is a heated topic and people take different attitudes. As far as I am concerned, I believe that living in a competitive environment has benefits neither to individuals nor to the society at large.
As the proverb goes "Union is strength", we owe to co-operating for our existence. İf our ancestries opted for rivalling rather than working together, probably, the human beings would not be alive today. There is no doubt that we can achieve good results as individuals, but the perfectness requires working in a team. As a result, we often see successful people associate their achievements with team-work.
Secondly, in a competitive environment, people are likely to see each other as enemies, while they have a tendency to make friends in a team work. That is why parents should teach their offspring how to be helpful to each other for warranting their happiness. Because, maybe they can be prosperous, but contentment really needs friends.
On the other hand, there are some who strongly states that the people around them just can bring drawbacks. As for them, life is based on competition, and to be the first person does not need any friends, even be able to leave everybody behind. More disturbingly, they teach their standpoints to their children for ensuring their success. These kinds of children do everything for their benefits, and some divine values such as friendship, help other people does not exist for them in later life.
By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my position that parents should their children how to work together, as advantages of co-operating definitely overshadow that of rivalling. | Adam, the overall score for your essay will only fall in the band score of 4 at the most. At least that is my opinion. The reason that I believe you cannot score higher than that is because, while your task accuracy is acceptable, the method of your discussion causes confusion and stress for the reader. While you do present some good points for discussion your written work, the faulty construction of your sentences, limited lexical resource, and grammar problems totally dragged down the potential of your essay to become a well written and coherently developed essay with a cohesive presentation. I am guessing that this is your first attempt at writing a Task 2 essay right? Therefore, I am confident that, with the proper guidance and encouragement, you will be able to show improvement in your written work with your future essays. Just keep writing, don't stop or lose heart. You will get better at this. We will help you do that. |
Prompt:
***Do governments have a legitimate role to legislate to protect citizens from the harmful effects of their own decision to smoke, or are such decisions up to the individuals.***
## harmful effect of tobacco
My essay:
Tobacco is a popular drug attracting over a billion adults every day, mainly in the form of cigarettes. However, long-term consuming tobacco will harm our health, what is worse, will have negative effect on wider society in terms of health care and lost productivity. Some people argue that smokers should take responsibility to quit smoking in order to protect people from the harmful effects of smoke. In my opinion, it is more of governments' responsibility to legislate to restrict the spread of tobacco use.
Some people believe that smoking is a personal decision, and as long as people are educated and aware of tobacco's harmful effects they will choose to quit smoking. However most smokers are addicted to the smoking habit, and tobacco has become a vital food for them both physically and mentally. Also they doubt the harmful effects as there is no obvious impact can be seen shortly. So it is usually too challenge for people to quit smoking by themselves.
On the other hand, the governments can use legal power to legislate through a range of measures and educate public. Comprehensive tobacco control policies should be established, smoking in public area including workspace should be forbidden, selling to children should be banned, effective health warning on all tobacco products should be a must. At meantime, campaigns to promote healthy life and awareness of tobacco's harmful effects should be run regularly, and keep young generation away from smoking.
In conclusion, harmful effects of tobacco can be eliminated when both the governments and smokers take action immediately. The governments legislate to protect public from smoking damage. and educate people about the negative impact of tobacco, the smokers use will-power to quit smoking more actively. | This is an unbelievable improvement over your first essay Ethan. You definitely showed a clear understanding of the prompt requirement. There was also a clear sense of logical discussion, based on facts and evidence within your line of discussion. While your lexical resource and grammar accuracy has some problems, the paragraphs were still understandable. This in turn, made the essay effective enough to support your stance. My scoring per criteria would be as follows:
Content - 3
Formal Requirement - 2
Development, Structure, and Coherence - 2
Grammar - 1
General Linguistic Range - 0
Vocabulary Range - 1
Spelling - 2
Total Score: 11
Good work so far. You need to work on developing your sentence structures in order to create sentences that follow grammatical rules in a more accurate manner. That should help to further improve your score in the Linguistic range. |
**The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.**
**Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.**
*Write at least 150 words.*
## Foreign languages knowledge among UK students
The charts illustrate the percentage of students who were capable to speak other languages aside from English in 2000 and 2010, at one University in England. During the time, students became more interested in other languages than them past generations. The only language that maintained the percentage of 10 during 10 years was German language only.
In 2000, the predominant languages was Spanish and French with 20% and 15% respectively, whilst 2010 brought a slight decreas in the interest of students to focus on Spanish and French language, leveling them at 10% with German language.
However, two other languages and other languages gradually increased from 10% and 15% to 15% and 20% respectively, in 10 years.
It is also noticeable that the choice of students of not speaking any other languages slightly increased by 5 % too, as in 2000 counted 30% but in 2010 reached 35%. Despite passing times it is very significant that the generations and times change very fast.
From moderator = one more useless comment = suspension.
* | Ana, please remember to double check your spelling before you submit your essay for scoring. Keep in mind that points will be deducted for misspelled words, even if it is only because your finger did not hit the key hard enough on the keyboard. The main problem that I see with your current essay is that you do not always meet the minimum sentence requirements in the paragraphs. Take for example paragraph 2 in this essay. You should have included the stand alone sentence, that supposedly created your third paragraph with the second paragraph since that paragraph lacks the sentence requirement. These summary reports can usually be completed in 3 paragraphs. You had the ability to do that with this essay. Somehow you forgot the requirements of the essay and that would definitely affect your final score, even though you included all of the related information in your summary. |
## English is my challenge
I'm feel so difficult to learn english, i was doing most ways and i'm still can't speaking english. I've more power to learn and never give up of my challenge because i knew english is very important of my life. Almost around the world used english for communicate, so if i want to expand a knowledge i should understand an english for catch every information that's going on. Basically english is a tool of a communication, doing an interaction and being information, also receive anything else. Communication is efforts to convey a meaning like a happy and sad. As important thing, english role for build interactions with most a wider range. | Miftah, are you writing this as a practice statement for one of your English classes? While I am sure that the grammar is not as good as it can be, your bigger problem is that you do not understand or remember the writing rules. Rules such as the pronoun "I" is always written in a capital letter and that names of persons, places, or things are to be capitalized as well. So the word "English" should always have a capital first letter. You show a manner of clear thought in English though. That means that people can understand what you are trying to say in English even though the sentence structure is not proper. So that is an accomplishment for you in itself.
Attention should be paid to your writing skill in terms of meeting the academic writing requirements. You have the potential to improve your English skills, both written and spoken if you constantly practice and apply the lessons you will be learning both from your teacher and the people here at the forum. Participate as often as you can so that you can practice writing in English. Post your English writing practice exercises here so that you can gain more experience and get additional advice regarding how to improve your written skills. I will be more than excited to help you do that. |
Hello! I am practicing to take IELTS test and I am of necessity for any helps related to writing. Please take a look and I really appreciate any of your comments
Topic: **"It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"**
## Local history vs world history
People have valued role of local history than that of the world; therefore, it is argued to be taught predominantly at school. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement and advocate for the same importance between them.
Studying the local history is surely indispensable part of school curriculum. The reason is that historical knowledge paves a way to patriotism, which must be established from little understanding of what happened in the past, how hometown changed over time and so on. Since then, people's hearts have blossomed with their pride of origin and desire of sovereignty protection. Additionally, domestic historical acquisition may serve as a middle man to call for people's contribution. Hardy people does build up their hometown when they have no local sympathetic. Once people heartedly know about where they were born, they get ready to invest to develop their motherland at any costs.
From another angle, world history should share the same significance with the former. Knowledge about world equips people with more well-rounded perspectives of life. For example, lessons of World War explicitly reminds us of peace's value and understanding of Feminism encourages people to protest against Gender discrimination and abuse. By and large, these kinds of knowledge would enhance people's mind related to various corners of life. Furthermore, looking at the world historically benefits people in their integration process. There is no doubt that future enrolers prefer those who get themselves ready with world background. Hence, students who accumulate a particular field at early age would possess a golden selling point to turn themselves an internationally integrated citizen.
In conclusion, I believe both domestic and international history are undoubtedly important. They are seemingly treated unfair when being brought into comparison because both have distinctively equal meanings not only to children but also to every single human being around the Earth | Jane, when you are asked to take a solid position in the essay, such as whether you agree or disagree, you should never take a middle position that has you agreeing to both sides to a certain extent. The strength of your essay will lie in the way that you are able to accurately defend one side of the opinion being presented. Note that the essay prompt asks you "to what extent do you agree OR disagree", so you have to pick only one side of the issue to discuss. Pick the side that you feel you can best defend over the course of the essay and build your paragraphs around that. While this essay discussion makes sense, it doesn't really fall within the specific prompt requirement. So the score for this essay will not be a passing one. It will not pass because you did not fulfill the requirements of the task accuracy portion, which asks you to pick only one side to discuss, so the rest of your scores will also be affected. |
**Why happiness is difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?**
## The way to happiness
It is clear that happiness is the everyone's ultimate goal. But it seems like people have their own versions when it comes to defining happiness and determining the main factors needed to acquire happiness.
Happiness is an abstract, subjective concept and its definition varies according to culture, religion and personal background. While Buddhists believe that by detaching oneself from all passions, needs and wants of life, people can achieve happiness; Christians are taught that dedicating one's life to helping people with pure altruism is the way to obtain eternal happiness. Generally, it is assumed that chasing your dream and getting what you want will bring you pleasure. But does it, or it is just a temporary state of satisfaction and then you still find yourself struggling every day to be happy? To sum up, happiness is something that you will have to define on your own, it is not what other people said it is.
In my opinion, the key factor when it comes to happiness is your mind. The human brain is such a powerful system that it can even bring more joyfulness to people who have nothing than those who have everything. Every day, people can choose either talking and smiling to their friends or wandering around with an angry face, either being an optimistic or pessimistic about what is coming. Happiness is a combination of simple choices that can make a huge impact on how you see the world.
In conclusion, happiness is hard to define as it is diverse and I believe that the crucial part of being happy lies in one's everyday attitude towards life. | Vi, your paraphrased statement is good. However, I am disappointed that you did not remember to include an overview of the discussion that you would be presenting in the essay. You see, it is not enough to be able to say the topic of the essay in a different manner. It is also important for you to be able to show that you know what points are important to discuss in terms of relevance in the essay. That is why you should strive to outline as much of the discussion you will be presenting to the reader. Just so there won't be any surprises and you will have a guideline in terms of what you hope to discuss in the essay.
I wish you had presented the completed prompt. That way I could make a more accurate prediction of the possible score you could have gotten for this essay. I also have some apprehensions about your extremely short conclusion. It lacks the proper information such as the restated prompt, opinions discussed, and your opinion. Remember, the conclusion is the closing summary of the previously discussed topics and shows that you understood the discussion you presented. |
**IELTS task 1 - Proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999**
I've just started to study IELTS so I hope everyone will be willing to help me. Thanks in advanced.
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## Poverty in Australian society
The given table illustrates the percentage of Australian from six different household types struggling with poverty in 1999. The data was measured in both percent and practical statistic.
It is noticeable in the last bold line that the number of poor Australian was really worth considering as it accounted for 11% of this country's population. Differed little from this, 933.000 people in couple-with-children families living below standard also made up 12% of their respective group. This record indicates that it is two times higher than 54.000 single aged individuals who suffered from financial problems.
As for aged couple, there was only 4% people living in poverty, thus the lowest position belongs to this group. In contrast, the quantity of poor Australian in sole-parent household category was the highest percentage (21%). This figure is 5 times higher than the lowest and clearly demonstrates the huge gap of economical statics between two kind of family, sole-parent and aged couple.
* | Nhi, first up, use a comma instead of a period when indicating information in the thousands. Always follow the method by which the information is written in the chart for information accuracy. If you want to write an accurate presentation of information, you need to go line by line in your presentation. Present the data as it appears in the chart. Don't jump to the end of the chart and then go back to the start. The information in bold should have been discussed in the final paragraph of the essay. By the way, you should try to write more words. Aim for at least 175 in order to help your lexical resource and grammar accuracy score.
You could have expanded the essay by properly outlining the information in the chart regarding the type of families included in the percentage. The types of family represented in the chart are vital to the opening statement presentation. That is supposed to be the overview of the information and type of discussion in the summary report so a representation of the classification and discussion is required in the outline portion. The outline is normally presented at the end of the opening statement.
Since this is your first essay, I will not score your work just yet. I want you to pay attention to the mistakes you made in this essay first, correct it, and learn from the mistakes you made. That way, you will remember to avoid it in your succeeding practice tests. Keep writing, we will help you get better and prepare for your test. |
The pie chart compares the proportion family expense in Japan and Malaysia in five different categories (housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and service) in 2010. Overall, it can be seen that both of countries showed the smallest spending on health care category.
Looking at the details, Japan and Malaysia spent the least capital on health care at 6 % and 3% respectively. Next, transport spending was the second lowest expense in both Japan and Malaysia but a domination was seen in the former with more than double.
Turning to another comparison, the data showed Malaysian which dominate two categories both housing at 34% and food 27%, compared to Japan accounting for 21% on housing and 24% on food category. However, other goods and services figure was the most popular in Japan at less than a third while in Malaysia this only recorded at 26% of total expenditures.
* | Baso, while you presented the minimum 150 word requirement in the summary report, your essay is not as solid nor informative in presentation. The reason that I came to this conclusion is because of the missing data in your second paragraph. You explained that transportation was the second lowest expense in Japan and Malaysia, you neglected to include the actual figures as indicated in the pie chart. Therefore, the information that you presented cannot be considered complete once considered overall. The most informative summary report is the one that presents all of the pertinent information from the charts provided in the summary. While it may sound mechanical at times, it is important to give the data in order for the reader to be properly informed regarding the information you are presenting. You need to find a way to sound more creative in the presentation of the information. Right now, you are just relating the information as you see it in the chart, which does not really present a clear idea as to your comprehension skills, which is graded in the cohesiveness and coherence section of the band score. |
**Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
"You can learn about the character of a country from the way that treat animal"**
## Life of animals among humans
Being a human, we have to love animal and give them the great treatment because it prove the love of human. However, I don't think we can examine the character of a country from the way they treat animal for 3 reasons - culture, economy and psychology aspect.
The first aspect we have to consider is the culture. We can't talk someone is the bad guy because they don't love and treat animal well. In some country in Asia such as China or Vietnam, the native people is educated about love and how to have a great behavior with others and help a lot of people as much as possible. However, they aren't taught about animal treatment and they can eat everything such as dog, cat and some pets. It is the culture and the culture is formed for thousand years. We can't tell they are wrong or bad because they are different us.
The second reason is psychology aspect. Human have a habit is consider others because the way they are distinct us. For example, some tradition nation such as Arab Saudi or India think the woman shouldn't wear short skirts and many tradition people have a bad thought about modern girls - who wear the hot dresses. It is so meaningless. Turning back about our topic, we can't learn about the character of a person or country because the way they treat with animal. It's so personal.
The finally is economy aspect. In some poor country, the human have nothing to eat and the hundreds of child die per day. When we are in the bad circumstance, we can't care too much for the others. What do you think about the famous picture which people can feed the abandon dog but don't really care about the homeless? In some case, we have to choose the best solution - focus just for the most important thing with the limited source - and we have to quit anothers.
When we consider about something, we have to examine for many aspects such as culture, economy and psychology. That is the reason I don't think we can learn about the character of a country from the way that treat animal. | Nguyet, your summary overview along with your personal opinion is good. However, it is too short to be considered a completely developed paragraph. Try to aim for at least 3 sentences per paragraph, maximum of 5 in order to gain a better task accuracy score. Your comprehension skill is scored in the very first paragraph of the essay so it is crucial that you do your best in the very first paragraph of the essay. In this sort of essay, after you present your first pronoun personal opinion, you should shift to the 3rd person pronoun throughout because you are discussing ideas and opinions related to second hand information. Therefore, it is not good to use second person or first pronoun references in the essay. Overall though, this is a very good discussion that should have a pretty decent score even with the minimal problems the developed essay possesses. |
Hi! I am practising on ielts and I got this prompt:
The prompt says: **Some people believe that money brings happiness; others are of the opinion that having too much money is a problem.Discuss both views and give your own opinion**
## happy resources
People often wonder whether money brings happiness or not. Many people suppose that money brings joy, whereas others believe having too much money is a problem. While there are valid arguments to the contrary, I think that money is happy resources.
On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that money brings happiness. Firstly, playing an important role in meeting one's basic needs is evident methods. Working eight to ten hour every day, people earn money which can be used to pay for housing, food, bills, health care. It also helps us provide the best possible education for one's children. Having too much money, ones can have reasonable, comfortable life and benefit from it as soon as possible. One can enjoy a vacation with one's family in summer after long exhausting working days. Ones can go shopping without think about price. Also if ones have too much money, ones can make a great contribute to society such as building schools, hospitals, helping the poor.
On the other hand, some people argue that having too much money is a problem. It threatens one's safety. Nowadays, the number of people who have become thieves are raising every day, so rich people always feel insecure because money can make the rich the target of thieves. An evident disadvantage of having too much money is to use proportionally. They feel really stressful because of making plan what they must give priority to or what are worth doing.
In spite of these arguments, I believe that money brings happiness .Firstly, not only does money meets one's basic needs, but also it improves people's standard. According to research, so many people who have become thieves because of the lack of finance. If we have so much money, we boost economic development and keep pace with anyone and countries. Having comfortable life, we always fell energetic and want to work.
In conclusion, people have different views that money brings happiness and having too much money is a problem. I personally prefer that money brings happiness | To, please remember that you need to start a new thread for every question you want answered or essay that you want reviewed which is totally unrelated to the original topic being discussed in a thread. In this instance, you have to do your own research regarding the format. I cannot respond to that question in this thread because this is dedicated to an unrelated essay discussion. If you start a different thread that asks me the same question, I will be able to respond there. I cannot do that in this thread. Don't forget, you can always Google the response to your questions before you write your essay. So why don't you try doing that first? If you feel lost, then start a new thread in the correct forum area and I will assist you to the best of my ability in that new thread. Sorry about that. The mods are pretty strict about that rule and I cannot disobey it. |
## Crime statistics
The graph below shows the perceived danger and actual likelihood of being a victim of crime.
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Hello. This is my practice for IELTS writing task 1. Thanks in advance for your feedback :)
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The bar chart compares the projected and actual criminal incidents in 2009 and 2018. The data is measured in percent and covers 3 types of crimes which are burglary, car crime, and violent crime. It is noticeable that all of them crimes were overestimated and the most common case was car crime in both years.
The gaps between predicted and actual cases of all categories were immense, either in 2009 or in 2010. All of the three types had much greater envisaged percentage, but the hugest among them was experienced by car crime. This criminal act witnessed more than 20% gap in 2009 and about 5% lower in the next year. Meanwhile, the other two types only experienced more or less a tenth gaps.
A closer look at the date shows that car crime cases stood out as the most frequent criminal action estimated and happened. Although its prediction which was previously projected to be 20% fell by roughly 5% in 2010, the real case proportion remained the same. The prediction for burglary and violent crime also saw similar percentages and trends, both smaller in 2010. In reality, violence happened more often than burglary, however.
* | Daniette, when you present information based on dates or years in your statement, make sure that you present the digits in the same chronological manner. So the presentation for your information in the opening statement should have indicated "actual and projected crime incidents in 2009 and 2018" instead. Also, the more proper term for the chart would be a Histogram instead of a bar chart. A bar chart is a different kind of chart. The term "huge" does not change in tense pattern either. It is the same whether it is used in past, present, or future form. Using the term "hugest" would have a definite effect on your lexical resource score. The rest of the essay contains minimal grammar errors which did not put undue stress on the reader so it is negligible in terms of your essay development mistakes. The message of the paragraph can still be understood. |
Hello everyone, it has been 10 years since high school, 9 of them being in the Marine Corps. I am now in college and have my first English essay due, a descriptive essay which requires the basics of concept understanding. I have always been a good writer, however I don't understand the rules to well. Where to place commas, when to place a semicolon ect.. So if anyone could look this over and let me know of any obvious mistakes I would appreciate it. For example, my essay is about Parris Island, a proper noun. Do I capitalize the word island anywhere else in the essay even if it doesn't have the word Parris in front? Thanks in advance. Also, I put \* marks in places where I thought something was wrong.
## Parris Island, South Carolina
Silence and darkness filled the bus in the late September night. The previous hours were filled with jovial excitement as everyone spoke of how they would conquer the days ahead. However when the bus passed that distinctive red sign, the reality of arriving at Parris Island, South Carolina finally set in. My whole life led me to this point, the point of no return. All around me were people of different backgrounds and places, all eager to see if they had what it takes. As the bus crept to a grinding halt, a fierce and intense looking Drill Instructor stepped on board. "Here we go" I said to myself, knowing full well my greatest test was about to begin. My world was about to be shattered, and I had no idea of the trials that lay ahead. The island, the Physical Fitness Test and my graduation made boot camp a journey I will never forget.
When I arrived at Parris Island, the first thing I noticed besides the yelling and chaos was oddly enough, the smell. That salty, musky and humid smell brought forth by the murky alligator infested swamp that surrounded the island. We were fed stories of former recruits who tried to escape through the swamp, only to never be found again and presumably eaten by the native wildlife. I arrived in September, which meant it was humid and hot, and sweating became a daily normality. I also had to endure the infamous sand flea, which was a blood sucking fly attracted to sweat that I wasn't allowed to swat. Because I arrived late in the year, I had to endure the cold weather during my last month in training. In the Crucible, which was the final culminating test to graduate, I found out what cold really was. During this three day long outdoor exercise, the temperature was around 36 °F and it rained nearly every day. At one point I even had to low crawl through areas where I would be submerged in near freezing water. This was easily the coldest I had ever been. As if boot camp wasn't hard already, the island itself presented challenges that only added to the overall difficulty of my training.
Even though the island didn't make things easy, I still had to complete numerous tests to graduate and become a Marine. One of the most important tests was the Physical Fitness Test, which determines the physical ability of all Marines. With a three mile run, twenty pull-ups and one hundred crunches, it could challenge even the fittest of men and women. The first portion of the test was crunches, which I considered the easiest. I flew through them and was on to the pull-ups. I quickly did seventeen pull-ups and mustered as much strength as I could to knock out the last few to give me twenty, a perfect score so far. I was now tiring, the heat had already made me begin to sweat and I hadn't even started the run yet. As I leaned forward at the starting line, the Drill Instructor shouted "ready, go!"\* and we were off. There were over one hundred recruits all running the same road and I had to fight my way to move past them. At the one-mile mark I was flying, passing recruit after recruit determined to make a good time. Past the halfway point I was exhausted, breathing heavy and drenched in sweat. I was on an excellent pace, and once I passed the 2.5\*-mile mark I knew it was time to give it my all in the final stretch. I drove my legs into the black pavement and began to sprint as the finish line became visible. With every ounce of energy I had, I surged past the finish and proceeded to collapse in the grass near the road. "Eighteen minutes fifteen seconds, get some water!" the Drill Instructor shouted, as I stood up and walked to my canteen. I had passed the test; I was on my way to graduation and becoming a Marine.
On graduation day I was dressed in my crisp, olive green uniform with the rest of my platoon. Our shiny, freshly polished black shoes thundered along the road as we marched towards the graduation building. After three months of not speaking to my loved ones, I was finally going to see them. Not as the eighteen year old kid that just graduated high school, \*but as a Marine. As we entered the building I scanned the audience looking for my family. I spotted them dressed in red and gold, the colors of the Marine Corps. I stood in formation as announcements were made and songs were played, eager to finally embrace my family. My Senior Drill Instructor moved slowly down the line, commending each new Marine. When he came to me, he held out his hand and gave me a small matte black pin which was the Eagle, Globe and Anchor - the symbol of the Marine Corps\*. "Congratulations Marine" he said, I knew then that this wasn't a dream, it was real. I didn't think I would be emotional, but I couldn't hold back the tears. I thought back to the previous three months, the pain and misery that led me to this point. At the end of the ceremony the announcer said, "\*ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Americas newest United States Marines!" At that moment, we were dismissed and my family rushed to my side with smiling faces. Never in my life had I felt as proud as I did at that moment. I was going home a Marine.
The Island, the Physical Fitness Test and my graduation experiences in boot camp prepared me for the rest of my career, as well as the rest of my life. The foundation for my success both in and out of the Marines was laid in the sands of Parris Island. From the exhausting final sprint in my physical fitness test, to the pride of earning the title, I learned what my potential truly was. I was broken down in every way a person can be, only to be built into the person I am today. I became stronger, smarter and learned to live without fear or self-doubt. The physical and intangible qualities I gained will stay with me forever. I was challenged from the moment I stepped off that bus, and my life would never be the same. Through blood, sweat and tears I achieved my place among the few and the proud. | Yes, the presentation of the "Here we go." statement is exactly what I meant. The same goes for the changes in Parris Island. However, I seem to have missed just one comma to help in the presentation of the sentence. Place a comma after "oddly enough" since that is a descriptive term.
I think there is a better way to present the line about native wildlife. You can instead say
*"...again. The story goes that they were presumably eaten by ..."*
Capitalize the word He in the sentence "Congratulations Marine." since you placed a period after it. Use a lower case form outside of the quote is the quotation itself has a comma within it which connotes a continuing action or dialogue.
With regards to the Physical Fitness Test, it would depend upon whether that is the description of an action or the name of an event. The name of an event would always be capitalized as part of the rules governing the use of proper nouns. If it is just a description of an action,then it should be lower case. |