Datasets:

dim

/

essayforum_writing_prompts_6k

like 3

**Question: Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?** ## locals tend to underestimate the value of places they live in **Answer:** A number of monuments and museums primarily attract foreigners instead of the local. The primary cause of this phenomenon is the underestimation local people feel for these places and the most viable solution is an organization of events encouraging people to go to historical sites. The principal cause leading to the shortage of local visitors is that they do not feel the need to visit the historical and cultural sites in their towns. As local monuments have already been familiar with citizens, they might find it boring to visit these places. As a result, they could influence their friends and families that local sites do not bring any value to their lives. For instance, a recent government survey found that 75% of people in Ha Noi refused to choose Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum as their destination because they found nothing exciting out there. To tackle this problem, the government should hold special events, such as conventional games or festival at the monuments to motivate locals to visit these places. Organizing popular events could shed some light on this difficult situation and allow people to be more concerned about it. To illustrate, a similar initiative in China resulted in a 52% increase in the number of local visitors to important spots in their cities. In conclusion, the number of foreign visitors is greater than that of local people in several historical and cultural places since locals tend to underestimate the value of these places. However, it can be addressed through conducting a variety of special programs there to stimulate local visitors.

Vuu, good work on writing 200 words for this essay. That sort of word count can definitely increase your chances of getting a higher score because you have a better opportunity of proving your abilities in the LR, C&C, and GRA sections of the essay. However, the GRA and TA section will not have a marked increase in scoring because you did not meet the 3 sentence minimum in some instances of the paragraphs within your essay. Always work towards meeting the maximum 5 sentence requirement per paragraph in order to better increase your overall chances. The way that you wrote the essay shows a clear understanding of the prompt. Although, this understanding had a little problem when it came to consistency in the presentation of your discussion. In the opening statement, you mentioned the locals at the start, then merely said "people" later on in the paragraph. "Locals" and "people" are two different things since "people" can refer to anyone. The correct term would have been "local people" in order to remain prompt specific and thus, increase your score.

## how to run Many People would like to enjoy a healthy life with a strong will and healthy body through this sports. There is an easy way to exercise named running where we can benefit a lot, but many people can't keep up. I am the beneficiary of running, but I almost gave up in the beginning. I hope you can benefit from running, and you will get better exercise with my advice about problems and rules which I have learned from my running. There are some problems for beginners who need to learn some running rules. I prefer to offer them some suggestions which they can try after mastering how to run. finally, they will benefit a lot. You must to know the advantages of running if you want to learn how to run. There are many advantages of running to our body and will as shown in the list: Keeping your energy much stronger; Improving your creativity; Improve your sleep; It's a positive hobby and the best exercise way of burning calories; Improving self-esteem; Making your body healthier; It's good for people to keep running, it is good for our eyes, by looking at the view on your ways, your vision will become better than before. Almost everyone is suitable for running. It is the best way of learning a new city and also the basis of other sports where you can be more excellent by running. Personally speaking, I really got a lot of benefit from it. I decided to do running as I was lazy and always dozed off during classes, and I have no energy to finish my homework at night during the last semester of the first year in college. Then I joined in an athletic team. It was hard for me to keep up running for the beginning, but I did not give up. Both of my body and spirit are got some benefit from it, I began to concentrate on the classes and there was more energy to finish homework which made me keep on the running. I participated in the long-distance running race on behalf of college and won. I enjoy the running very much. But I found that there are many problems about running for the exercisers of making their running not smooth when I practice running. For the runners, they should pay attention to this problems: do not make the hip swing too much; prevent the body's center line from excessive distortion; avoid waste your energy on the unnecessary swing. Our body can receive lots of impact force to our ankles and knees, if we do the bad action in running, so don't lift feet too high above the ground, otherwise it will be hard for you. You also will get hurt, if your body is not relaxed before you begin to run. you will be very hard during the whole process if your upper body is too stiff. The beginners can be much better runners by paying attention to these key points as well as the running rules. Are you surprised that there are some rules for running? You don't need to be surprised, because there really have some rules should be observed. As stated above, we should avoid our body moving too much which will generate the muscle fatigue and physical damage. It is necessary for us to run slowly in the beginning to make sure you can run better and prevent physical ache. Controlling breath can improve our sports performance. Please keep in mind that it will maintain our energy by keeping our breath deeply. You will run much better if you know the running rules very well. If you know about my advice, you will run better than who only know the running rules. I advise you do some warm-up sports before running so that your physical function can be better in the running action. we can relieve our tired heart by listening to music when we are running. It will be hard for us at the beginning as oxygen supply lags behind of the needs for our muscle activity. don't give up, and you'll be comfortable. I hope you can achieve your goals by practice which based on your learning on running, that means you should practice it after the lesson, and do some action. As the after lesson practice, you should do run frequently, and running with others people. You can learn from someone which running better than you and do imitate him. You had better do not give up, keep moving when you are in running, and you can get lot of benefit from it. Now you must have own thoughts about how to run. By my conclusion, maybe you could understand it better and do it better. By reading this essay, we know that why we should run, what did I get in my running, we can understand the problems in running, we understand the rules in running, and you could get some of my suggestions. according to practice running after class, you will run better. To run better means you can have a better health body and have a better will power, have a better health body and have a better will power means you could enjoy your better life.<b></b>

Weijjiang, you should focus on only one aspect of running for your essay instead of trying to develop a number of discussions within it. That is because your current version lacks a chronological presentation of facts. If you wish to discuss more than one topic in the essay, then you should first outline your topics for discussion, making sure that the related information are located within proper paragraph distance of each other. At the moment, your essay lacks coherence, the result of your lack of outline when it came to the discussion procedure. Your essay also suffers from grammatical problems such as capitalized words when it should be written in lower case and your list not being properly formatted for presentation to the reader. The list should have also served as an outline of the succeeding discussion where you would have better represented a discussion of the topic list. the listing doesn't have any importance the way you have it presented now. It doesn't really inform the reader of the benefits because your benefits discussion is not focused. Basically, you just need to make sure that you focus on your discussion topics and allow for a well developed presentation of the topics. Try to limit your essay to only one or two related and important topics in order to prevent confusion in the presentation of the discussion.

**Topics: Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.****To what extent do you agree?** ## Women in the workforce Some people may think that the high-level positions should not be filled by women. The reason behind that is there is a negative image of female that they are not able to competent the high-level position.However,I disagree.There are two reasons.Firstly,most female nowadays have high education level. Secondly,female are usually attentive and have good communication with others. Nowadays, both male and female can receive education and most of the female have excellent performance in their study.They have the ability to complete the work of the high-level positions.A fine example of this is there are lots of female professors in universities.Also the chief executive in Hong Kong is a female.This can show that female are able to work in high-level position. Additionally, female are more scrupulous and have better communication skills.Female are more likely to work in details work. According to the research done in the USA, female are sociable than male.That means female are able to have better communication and relationship with others.Also they have better leadership to lead the colleagues because of their communication skills. The reasons above can show that female have abilities to work in high-level positions.Therefore, companies should be required more female to these positions.

Ngai, you have inaccurately discussed the paraphrased statement. The opening statement needs to only deliver your understanding of the prompt topic plus the method of discussion prior to your agreement or disagreement of the topic. An example opening statement for this would be: *These days, men commonly hold positions of high responsibility in companies. This is the situation that exists even as most workplaces have come to be more dominated by women, who sometimes comprise 50 percent of the workforce in a company. This imbalance in the leadership role in offices has led to the debate regarding whether companies must be forced to hire a percentage of women for the high profile jobs. I actually agree that companies should hire more women in positions of responsibility for a number of reasons which will be discussed below.* You need to learn how to pick a strong line of reasoning and then developing the discussion thoroughly in the paragraph. It is best to not confuse things by presenting more than one supporting evidence or opposing evidence in a paragraph so that you can devote your time to delivering a proper discussion of the given reason in relation to the topic. At the moment all of your discussions are not thoroughly developed and therefore, creates a weak argument in support of your position. So, given the shortcomings of your essay, I believe that your essay might score a 4 in an actual setting.

**Topic: In many countries, people now wear Western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing. Why ? Is this a positive or negative development ?** (about 300 words) ## jeans and suits - what to wear? Clothes such as suits and jeans, which come from Western countries, have become a fad recently. Western clothes are also much more pervasive than traditional costumes. As far as I am concerned, I believe that there are a variety of reasons for the prevalence of Western clothes. From my perspective, this growth will have beneficial effects on many sides. There are certain primary causes entailing the popularity of Western clothes. The first reason is these modern clothes make people feel much more comfortable and satisfied. It is inevitable that jeans and suits are more convenient compared to conventional clothes. Jeans and suits are chosen because wearing them makes workers and students feel relieved and easy to perform many different tasks. For instance, if a Japanese employee wears a kimono to run a business, they may struggle with its huge size and encumbrances and therefore may not work effectively. Another reason is because these trendy clothes help people save money and time. Choosing clothes to put on is no longer time-consuming due to the flexibility of jeans and suits in many situations. These fashion-forward clothes also save consumers' money because of its durability to wear for many years. Moreover, regarding suits and jeans' popularity, I believe this development will give rise to some positive impacts. Because they can boost people's working and studying efficiency, these modern clothes also reduce the gap between cultures as well as social classes such as the rich and the poor. This phenomenon will become negative only if people wear modern clothes and underestimate their cultural identity and national values. On the contrary, if people still respect their traditional clothes and wear national clothes on special occasions such as "ao dai'' of Vietnam or "hanbok" of Korea, wearing jeans and suits is not a serious problem. In conclusion, I believe that jeans and suits are the best choices when people go to work or learn at schools as a result of their convenience and simplicity. Despite their benefits, citizens all over the world must respect their cultures and traditional values, including their national clothes.

Linh, I think this essay can score at least a 5 overall. One of the main reasons that I held back on giving you a higher score is the fact that the essay was asking you for a generalized opinion of the topic and you instead, gave a personal opinion. If the essay does not say "what is your opinion", then there is no need to personalize the opinion as what is required is a blanket, general opinion that is acceptable as an explanation to most people. The third person pronoun or terms such as most people, one, others, groups, and other similar terms, create a general perception of the opinion you are presenting, which would have been more in line with the discussion. While the essay that you wrote is strong, you show a clear understanding of the topic for discussion, and you managed to present convincing evidence, it is the personal opinion statement, and the improper sentence development that pulled down your score. One of the grammar problems in your essay is your use of the connecting word "because" at the start of the sentence. You cannot use a connecting word to start off a sentence in academic writing where the rules regarding the placement of connecting words in a sentence is precise and unchangeable.

## destination of UK graduate and postgraduate learners after finishing their study The graphics on the pictures show about ratio of destination of UK graduate and postgraduate learners after finishing their study in campus in 2008. Generally, the academicians after passing from college will work or continuou their study. Those who choose to work, usually look for full-time, part-time, or voluntary work. Unfortunately, some of them cannot get the job. Based on the picture, the charts did not explain how many students who choose full-time work. Because of that, both of graph describe part-time and voluntary work, unemployment and further study. These data describe more 17.000 students have destination as part-time work for graduates and about 2500 learners for postgraduates. These is the most number of students who culling work. Differently with voluntary work, only 3500 masters and 345 doctors. These choice are the fewest number. Unhappily, there are many bachelors and masters still unemployment. On the other hand, those who are going to study about 29.000 students for graduates and 2.700 students for postgraduates. When the data between academicians choose the job and continuou the study are compared, the academician who pick out to work more many than those who carry out to study with details more 36.500 masters choose to work and no more 30.000 masters choose to further study. As well as, the numbers of doctor pick out to work more 4400 and about 2700 doctors pick out to continuou to study. * *

Afif, in the case of this essay, it would have been better if you combined the first sentence with the full paragraph beneath it in order to create your opening statement. Remember, the overview will be most effective when you can illustrate the provided information in a summary or recap form. That helps to increase the task accuracy score because the elements for discussion, as well as the method of discussion will be fully threshed out at the start of the essay. The overall presentation is sound and shows that you took a decent amount of time in considering the evidence presented on a deeper level than just what was on the paper. While you tried your best to use complex sentences, an obvious attempt at improving your GRA score, you were not as successful as you had hoped because the sentence structure became a bit confusing for the reader. While I applaud your attempt at the complex sentences, if done improperly, like in most instances in your essay, it ends up reducing instead of increasing your score. It is best to write simple sentences, which can best represent your thought process, and get a small increase in your score, than to try to be complex and reduce your scoring considerations. Overall, this is not a bad attempt at writing an essay that has the potential to score a 5 in the final consideration.

Could you please correct my text for the question of "Many people have now a poor memory. What is probably the reason and what should we do to improve?" **"In the modern world, poor memory arises as a prevalent human condition. This essay will explore some probable causes for this brain degradation and its feasible solution.** ## what affect our memorizing skills? As the technology develops, people don't particularly need to memorise anything anymore. A human brain can no longer store as immerse data as a computer do. The technology makes it even easier when any social network like Facebook has now a function of reminding automatically the user of his friends' birthday or events. The dependence of technology weakens, therefore, human memory capacity. Besides, the increasing pollution makes this condition more universal. Research shows that people live in a heavily polluted area are more likely to struggle with memorising numbers and person's name than their peers in a purer region. Air pollution particles could attack anyone and happen to damage slowly brain functions. Solving these two main issues would be the key to recover intellectual health. While it is really difficult to change living area or individually mitigate environmental pollution, anyone can change their habit toward technology. Like physical body, the brain needs practice to function effectively. They should start with trying memorising important things like upcomming due dates or list of follows-up activities. Beside, finding a strategy to remember seems to be a long-term solution. Visualising the relationship between things could really facilitate the memorisation process. In brief, the modern life is seemingly creating a new generation of poor memory. However, with regular practice and an appropriate strategy, people would at least prevent themselves from the possible embarrassing situation where they would forget to celebrate their own birthday just due to Facebook disconnection." (267 words) Any advice is really welcomed. Thank you very much.

Plan, you need to improve upon your opening statement. The way you have it written now isn't really reflective of the prompt topic and the instructions for your discussion. In order to develop a better opening statement, it would be best to allot one sentence per prompt indication. That would be one for the topic, another for the reasons, and the lady one for the methods by which one can improve his memory. If you write it that way, your task accuracy score will be increased. There is a problem in your sentence structure for paragraph two sentence three. The proper structure for the sentence would have been as follows: *Therefore, the dependence on technology weakens the human memory capacity.* In relation to this, your conclusion is inappropriate as it doesn't accurately summarize the discussion provided and your proposed solutions. As such, you will recieved a severe markdown in the task accuracy section because of the mistakes in your opening statement and closing paragraph. All of these components will , in my opinion, combine in a resulting score of 4 overall.

Can you help me to correct a small paragraph ? Hi everyone I left this a wonderful website for a long time and I forgot everything about the language because I am talking Turkish and Arabic all the time So I need your help in translation of a short movie to my little brother at school I have translated into English language But I don't know if I wrote each sentence correctly by using the grammar Also I need other suggestions for using words which can be so effective and touching With much appreciated ## Abeer from Alshujaeyya Hey , play don't mention Everyone please take your place Ali you can get it from your side My dream was holding a bubite and running like kids I always crided and wished if I could play hopscotch like my friends but I wasn't be able to do it I lived my childhood's period among getting many operations and consultancy of doctors, however I studied and lived my childhood, I just tried to live it like any child but it wasn't like the childhood of any kid Despite all the obstacles that I faced The society towards me and everyone against me said that what this disabled girl will achieve in her life ? Abeer was born in Alshujaeyya district, for sure that everyone knows Alshujaeyya city and for those who don't know this city . I think last war on Gaza allowed them to know Alshujaeyya Of course Abeer started her childhood like not any childhood of any kid , I challenged all conditions around me that were tough and started to see my self in something that I can be creative in I played basketball and it was such a wonderful thing to change the thoughts of the society against disabled person that he only needs treatment. I had acting talent and I adored thing which called theatre but there was a big trouble I faced that Abeer must not play any role in series or on participate in theatre unless if it's talking about the disabled people And I the producers just remembered me for one day each year the day of international disabled people You will enter like allian and say hello. ..how are you Iam getting 24years old , everyone know the hard situation in Gaza and it's become so harder on the disabled people. When I went to school and did my normal routine All the sightseeing towards Abeer thatwhat will this disabled lady will achieve the days have flied out and I graduated from the University And now everyone told me that I am inspirationfor others to learn The dolphin told me that there were worms in the sea and when every fish ate worm it disappeared Soso has gone Who is soso It was my friend ,The silver fish and now I have been guided to the bright idea so I can practice my talent by playing a role which examplify the disabled people and this role does not show me like a disabled lady It's a special thearte forkids I do hope that this work will succeed and achieve my goal in the end inspite of all the obstacles we faced to produce I didn't escape from the reality of being disabled. of course not Iam so proud of my disability The actor should have a character in any areas of acting and I feel I am actor and I have a bility to be So why I can't do this talent Are they any comments on me Not yet So there is nothing good or bad ?

Sawsan, it is difficult for anybody here to translate this essay for you for a number of reasons. The first, is that most of the sentences that you wrote do not make any sense in English. This essay sounds more like you used an online translator to write the essay in English coming from your mother tongue. That is the main reason why this essay doesn't make sense. The best thing for you to do at this point is write the essay again. This time, do not use a translator, if necessary, use a Turkish - English dictionary for writing the essay. Not the online translator. I know you are out of practice when it comes to writing in English but using the translator is not the way to fix the problem. You need to apply yourself and work on improving your English skills the hard way. Right now, I am sure that the essay makes sense in Turkish, but you cannot transliterate from Turkish to English. If the English sentence development and structure is not followed, what you end up with, is this mangled, incomprehensible bunch of words. Believe me, I would help you to fix this essay if it were possible and simple enough to do so. It just isn't easy to do when the essay is in such disarray like yours is. Try to write a new essay. This time, use only simple English words instead of trying to be creative and dramatic. Just speak in a natural manner. Keep your English presentation simple. That would be the best way to get back into the practice of writing in English.

## This decision will influence your future To study in your own country versus studying abroad is always the most difficult decision to make. Studying abroad is always a highlight in any curriculum vitae, but leaving home for a long period of time is not everyone's cup of tea. Furthermore, Studying in a foreign country can bring about many benefits and also studying in your home country can have some advantages, too. Both options have their pros and cons, but in the end you know what the right thing is for you. Studying abroad is the one way to shape your life for a better future. Studying abroad can give not only mastering language, but also the study of culture of another country. We can learn about foreign culture and customs. Studying abroad may adversely affect our own culture and native language. People who study long or live in another country sometimes get homesick, and communicating with friends and family at home can be very difficult. Moreover, studying abroad is not so easy, you have to keep in mind the costs of studying abroad. Sometimes tuition fees are quite high, and the cost of living may be different from what you are used to at home. Studying in your own country and familiarity with your environment allows you to focus on school instead of dealing with culture shock or language barriers. You don't necessarily need to go abroad to improve your language skills and interact with internationals. On the other hand, Studying in your own country is often a smart financial decision. You're more likely to leave college with less debt than a student who borrowed heavily to study. And in addition, you can work at a job in your own country to help pay for college and gain valuable work experience that will look good on your résumé. In a nutshell, taking account of all above factors, we can infer that both options have their cons and pro and the decision to study in your own country versus studying abroad depends on your values, finances, career goals and personal preferences.

Saman, you need to learn how to practice sentence variations. Try not to always start your sentences with the same phrase. In this case, "Studying abroad" and "Studying in your country" was used at least 3 times to start a new sentence. That is considered a form of redundancy and shows that you have a limited ability to form English sentences of the complex kind. You present some pretty convincing reasons in your compare and contrast essay with regards to both topics. Your conclusion however, needs more work. It is the weakest part of your essay that does not close the essay on a strong note. It is somewhat simplistic in approach and does not really summarize the discussion to the point where an implied opinion is present. Perhaps that is because you did not present a personal opinion paragraph in the essay. If the instructions allowed you to use a personal opinion, the essay would have been stronger overall. This is not a bad attempt at writing the essay though. You show an analytical ability that can serve you well in English essay writing in the future.

## Causes of Worldwide Land Degradation This chart illustrates the causes of agricultural land productivity including three areas in 1990s. The vast land degradation mainly caused by over-grazing with using 35% of the worldwide land. A third of the land was deforestation, and more than a quarter was for cultivating. The largest degraded land was happen in the Europe with 23% of the total land. Europe land degradation mainly caused by deforestation. In the oceania (including Australia and New Zealand), total degradated land was 13%, with 11,3% of the land using for grazing and 1,7 due to deforestation, none of the land was using for cultivation in this region. On the other hand, degradation in North America due to over-caltivation (with 3,3% of total tand). Overall, the worldwide degradation land in 1990 mainly cause d by over-grazing, and the region with the vastest degradation land was in Europe. In contrast, the fewest degradation land was in the North America.

Feti, it is unfortunate that even without the chart that you were provided with for the essay, your formatting and presentation is so inadequate that it cannot score any more than a 4. This is a score that I based upon your immediate presentation of information and problems regarding discussion formats and information dissemination to the reader. For starters, your opening summary is totally unacceptable because you did not really inform the reader about the overview information from the chart. That should have included the topic for discussion, type of chart presented, summarized comparison points, and any other important overview information that could have comprised the discussion outline. Your actual paragraph discussion is in need of proper formatting because you discussed more than one topic in a single paragraph. You need to learn how to decipher the discussion topics so that you can group the related information together and then use the grouping for the paragraph presentations. You have to also learn to use a full stop in the paragraphs instead of comma's because a full stop will help you meet the required sentence count per paragraph. As opposed to a comma which only creates a pause in the reading. In the concluding statement, try to come up with some additional analytical information that you might have missed in the essay for presentation. Do it in such a manner that will allow you to create at least 3 sentences in conclusion of the essay. Right now, the conclusion that you developed does not really do a good job of closing the discussion. Some final reminders: 1. This essay must have at least 150 words distributed among (at least) 3 - 5 (maximum) paragraphs. 2. A discussion outline will help increase your TA score in the opening paraphrase. 3. The conclusion should help to wrap up the discussion in the 3 sentence minimum manner. It should never be a single sentence alone.

**Some people think that strict punishment for driving offenses are the key to reduce traffic accidents. Other, however, believe that other measures could be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.** ## serious law enforcement for reckless drivers It is common believe that traffic lawbreakers should be sentenced to severe punishment is preferred solution to answer the high rank of traffic accidents. While other though said that constructing enchanted infrastructures to improve physical safety of road should exceed more positive impacts. I personally believe that bold decision to make proper punishment would be better to overcome this issue. It is general for highway to be equipped by traffic tools to ensure users are comfort and safe. For instance, it is an obligation for local authority providing sufficient numbers of traffic signs particularly in area where it has more risk to crash to occur. Those would be very helpful for public to be noticed when they are spotted in right place. In contrast, the warnings should cost much expense of budget while it continues to use in future because high numbers of signs do not identically reflect the success of traffic accidents reducing. On the other hand, user's attitude and behaviour would impact more benefits through serious law enforcement. This kind of measure could be executed by officers to sentence the offenders with equal punishment with no exception from all of groups. Furthermore, it would educate people to understand how essential the law is in daily life where it should accidentally build the sense of law awareness. When the awareness are maintaining, preferable attitude in driving would be being part of habitual tradition. Thus, citizens may contribute to create a harmony to each other and to lead a firm obedience of official rules. To sum up, traffic rules breaking which causes more accidents should be tackled by firmly practical regulation for those who offend. It is cost-effective and most suitable to vouch the rules would be obeyed by public.

Muhammad, the English sentence structure of the essay is not very good. It usually confuses the reader while reading due to the improper sentence structure and grammar use. The lexical resource is also a problem in this essay because you are using words such as "enchanted infrastructures" which does not make sense because there are no "magical" roads in real life. So using that term is wrong and shows that you have a very poor grasp of the English language, the word meaning, and proper usage. All of which will combine to create a dismal score of 4 in the overall bandwidth considerations. An additional problem of your essay is that, although you presented a personal opinion in the opening statement, you did not discuss the reasons behind your personal opinion within the essay itself. All you did was discuss both sides of the topic, which is a partial fulfillment of the prompt requirements. The final part, the one that requires you to discuss your opinion, was not represented in your writing. Due to these numerous problems with your essay, the score cannot be higher than the 4 that I indicated above. You need to familiarize yourself with the meaning of various English words and its usage in sentences. While you cannot memorize the English dictionary for this purpose, you should at least make an attempt to improve your writing abilities by reading other English essays, English newspaper articles / books / comic books. I suggest reading more comic books in English because the illustration of the situation normally explains the sentence in the dialogue bubble. Thus making it easier for you to understand the sentence meaning, how it was structured, and how the keywords were used in the sentence. These are the problems with your essay that can easily be improved upon through the practice of reading illustrated English material.

Please comment, check, and correct my Grammar dan Vocabulary ^^ ## a near future for graduated students The diagram indicates the number of destination of UK graduation and postgraduation in 2008, in this case full - time work people are excluded. Categories of Further study was the highest popular destination of UK graduation and postgraduation, with 29.665 people for graduation level and 2.725 people for postgraduation level. For all other categories, part time are the second highest of destination of UK graduation and postgraduation. Graduation level reached more than postgraduation level with estimate to 17.735 people compared with 2.535 people. Unemployement people were approximately twice as high as people who take further study for both levels. Unemployement people of graduation level are over 15.000 people as opposed to postgraduation level who numbered over 1.500 people. Finally, the figures demontrated that between graduation level and postgraduation most prefer to take further study. Also, Part time were biggest choice among graduation and post graduation level in UK. However, a fraction of both levels take voluntary work eventhough the number of unemployment is higher than people who take voluntary work.

Nindy, next time you post your essay, please make sure to include the illustration for my reference. I do not have the ability to confirm the validity of the information in your presentation without it. It will be impossible to accurately score your work as well due to the lack of base points for consideration. With regards to your essay, I can only comment on the formatting style because that is what I can see and rate without the need for the graph. Your writing style inconsistent. All of your paragraphs must have at least 3, but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. That is the requirement that can allow you to properly summarize the illustration you were provided and also, offer a clear explanation of the information to the reader. Note that your essay does not have a consistent discussion based upon the sentence requirement. You were neglectful of the sentence formatting requirements in this essay. Only the first word of every sentence, as well as the indication of proper nouns must be capitalized. Your work carries misplaced capitalized words or words that are not at the beginning of the sentence and do not qualify as proper nouns within certain paragraphs and sentences. Make sure that you space your paragraphs properly. Paragraphs 1 and 2 are not accurately separated and that such, looks like you did not proof read your essay before submission. Perhaps you meant to include the second paragraph with the first part of the essay? All of the problem points that I have pointed out here have a direct effect on your final score. So make sure to avoid these problems next time.

Please comment, I need your correction on my writing. Thank you very much. ## community schools and their students The table illustrates the percentage of students who studied at four types of secondary schools over a period of ten years. Overall, community schools welcomed more and more pupils from 2000 to 2009. In contrast, the increasre was a reduction in the number of students in other secondary schools. There was a swift increase in the quantity of students attending community schools between 2000 and 2009. In 2000, only 12% of teenagers were educated at these schools, and five years later almost a third of them took courses here. It is interesting to mention that the proportion of learners jumped nearly five times in 2009. In comparison with community schools, there was a mild fall in the total of schoolchilds in specialist schools although both of these schools started at the same level, at 12%. From 2000 to 2009, the quantity of pupils that talented secondary schools received declined by 1%. Others such as grammar schools and voluntary-controlled schools took a significant decrease in the total of children. Twice as many adolesents were taught at grammar schools in 2000 compared to 2009. The figure for voluntary-controlled ones also fell by 18% at the same stage. *

Anh, the main problem with your opening statement is that it does not really tell me what to expect in the upcoming discussion. As an outline, your essay is not effective because it doesn't immediately represent the types of schools to be compared, the years of comparison, and the sort of information that you will be presenting (e.g. a comparison of data, and presentation of main features). All of these elements need to be presented at the start in order to create a proper discussion outline, which will prove that you understood the instructions and that you have the ability to create a chronological discussion of the facts in the succeeding paragraphs. Doing so would have provided you with an increased Task Accuracy score. While you will not score highly in the lexical considerations of your writing due to misspelled words and the simplicity of your discussion, you did a good job of comparing the immediate information. However, your GRA will take hits because of the way you misspelled words, did not really develop proper sentence structures, and lacked in complex sentence usage. Overall, this is a 5 band score essay. A deeper analysis of the provided information and use of more and better developed complex sentences would have increased your score to possibly a 6.

## research on plant-based diet So many consumers have made the switch from a meat-dependent diet to a plant-based diet that it hardly seems novel anymore for consumers to go vegetarian or vegan. Yet, what are some of the impacts that this change in lifestyle and diet can have on the personal, social, and environmental levels? An outstanding number of people living on this planet depend primarily on plant-based food items. Besides such diet becoming a popular lifestyle obviously acquired by many, this dietary mode has remarkable benefits for the person, the society, and the environment. Although, a solely plant-based diet comes with a variety of risk factors all are easily mitigated with simple solutions. Solutions can be as simple as eating fortified foods or taking supplements suggested by a healthcare professional. It is known that particular historical civilizations have eaten primarily meat diets and compared with plant-based diets, all-meat diets have continuously have been less desirable both scientifically and ecologically. Furthermore, plant-based or vegetarian diets have become increasingly popular specifically for ethical reasons. Society has the ability to know where their food comes from and how it is produced or raised. Consumers with this knowledge tend to make the switch to vegan or vegetarian diets. Eating a plant-based diet is a healthy, and often ethically informed, lifestyle choice that benefits individuals, society, and the environment; however, embarking on this diet is maximally beneficial when consumers are properly educated on nutrition and communicate with health professionals in order to ensure safety and sustainability. Several versions of plant-based diets exist, including vegetarianism, veganism, and lacto vegetarianism. Plant-based diets are typically defined by eating patterns that are dominated by fresh, or minimally processed, plant foods. Additionally, there is a decreased consumption of meat, eggs, and dairy products in such diets. This sort of diet requires a variety of nutrient dense foods at a large consumption. When compared with largely meat-dependent diets, plant-based ones usually involve an increased consumption of grains, including whole grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts and seeds (Lea). In a vegetarian diet in which the primary source of fat is olive oil, in conjunction with small amounts of dairy and eggs, the most comparable diet is that which is common to the Mediterranean region and widely considered to promote healthful eating (Craig). Moreover, this kind of diet is globally common: "...2 billion people live primarily on a meat based diet while 4 billion people live primarily off a plant based diet" (Pimentel). Furthermore, many people may not identify specifically as vegan or vegetarian but nevertheless live on a mostly plant-based diet. There are a variety of personal motivations for eating a mostly plant-based diet. These diets have become a popular trend among the younger generation and are quickly gaining a wide following. Recent years have witnessed a rise in the general popularity of vegetarian diets, especially when fuelled by ethical considerations, health concerns, environmental issues, and religious factors (Craig). For instance, ethical concerns with regards to animal rights are particularly prevalent; becoming vegetarian or vegan is one way in which people make an effort to combat the unjust treatment of animals that commonly takes place during the normal cycle of farming. Even the environmental and ecological impacts of meat production and consumption are enough to dissuade people from partaking in the consumption of meat and meat products altogether (Ward). Adhering to a plant-based diet comes with many benefits. For example, a well-balanced plant-based diet can actually "prevent nutrition deficiencies as well as diet related chronic diseases." On the other hand, however, "...restrictive or unbalanced vegetarian diets may lead to nutritional deficiencies, particularly in situations of high metabolic demand" (Sabaté). Clearly, when plant-based diets are adhered to faithfully, and with a certain degree of knowledge, such diets can reward their practitioners with substantial nutritional benefits. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, natural vegetable oils, whole grains, and other plant-based foods are all important components of traditional Mediterranean and Asian diets, and the regions that host these diets are quite large, geographically speaking. These kinds of diets have long been associated with low rates of cardiovascular disease (CVD) and mortality in these geographical areas (Hu). Large numbers of people are thus especially motivated to adhere to a plant-based diet once they experience a traumatic event, such as a heart attack or other forms of coronary disease. In "Nutrition Concerns and Health Effects of Vegetarian Diets," Winston Craig discusses the many benefits that come with adhering to a plant-based diet. For instance, when compared with meat-eating groups, vegetarians (both lacto-ovo vegetarians and vegans) present a lower risk of death from ischemic heart disease, even after adjustment for body mass index (BMI) and smoking habits. Additionally, vegetarians tend to have an overall lower cancer rate than the general population, including significantly lower rates of developing type 2 diabetes than omnivores. When compared with a lacto-ovo-vegetarian diet, a vegan diet is associated with fewer allergies (since milk and eggs are absent), and typically vegans have a reduced saturated fat and cholesterol intake (Craig). While these diets clearly can be healthy, an appropriately planned plant-based diet is most healthful and nutritionally adequate and maximally beneficial in the prevention and treatment of certain chronic diseases. Poorly planned vegetarian diets, however, can be deficient in vitamin B12, calcium, vitamin D, zinc, iron, and long-chain ω-3 fatty acids-all of which are essential to normal life functioning (Craig). Plant-based diets also promise many benefits for the planet. This notion continues to become increasingly evident among populations of people who currently reside within largely meat-dependent societies. Doing away with so much meat-eating, in fact, has caused many environmental advocacy groups to campaign for "Meatless Mondays," and it is becoming increasing popular to criticize meat-based diets, which require "more energy, land and water resources than a vegetarian based system" tends to do (Pimentel). Moreover, Allen Fox (1999) suggests that a vegetarian economy contributes to "ecosystem health" by reducing the impacts that pollution, intensive famine, and land degradation by grazing - all of which has adverse effects for both developed and less-developed countries alike - have on economies and the environment (Ward). As our population grows, policymakers, politicians, and industry leaders will need to be innovative in thinking about how to feed everyone responsibly. A much more vegetarian system, although imperfect, is much more sustainable than a meat-based one. Due to all of the abovementioned benefits to both society and the environment, it is peculiar that more people are not willing to initiate adhering to a largely plant-based diet. Besides the known benefits of a plant-based diet, it nevertheless remains the case that the consumption of plant foods in many developed countries does not meet recommended levels of healthful nutrition. E. J. Lea studied this phenomenon and explained that the most common barrier for people was a general lack of information surrounding plant based diet. Other common barriers related back to a general unwillingness or an inability for their family, or for themselves, to alter present-day dietary patterns and lack of availability of plant-based options when "eating out." Incidentally, health concerns tended to be of relatively low importance. As the world changes and people further understand the effects that current lifestyle choices have on the environment, it becomes increasingly important for economies to consider the impacts that consumer practices of plant-based diets will have. Despite an incredible number of personal, social, and environmental benefits, there are also some potential health concerns worth considering. For example, low vitamin D intakes,5 low serum 25-hydroxyvitamin D levels,6 and reduced bone mass7 have all been reported in some vegan groups that did not take vitamin D supplements or ingest fortified foods, such as cow's milk, yogurt, some brands of soymilk, rice milk, orange juice, breakfast cereals, or margarines (Craig). Due to this inadequate consumption of foods and food items, the vitamin B12 status of some vegetarians may tend to be less than adequate (Craig). As with any diet, however, it is clearly important that consumers consult with their doctors before embarking on lifestyle changes involving dietary practices. Aside from taste, or preference, many proponents of meat-dependent diets use their knowledge of the benefits of eating meat to defend their dietary habits. In an article titled "The History of All Meat Diets," the discussion surrounding the Eskimo, who historically "thrived on fish, seal, walrus and whale meat." The article further elaborates that, even as recently as the 1980's, less that 4% "of all deaths in Greenland Eskimos were due to heart disease, despite a lifespan of over 60 years" (Ede). These statistics are not normal, but, as most experts agree, a plant-based diet is the healthiest option when choosing between eating all meat diets and plant-based ones. An overwhelming number of the world's population practices dietary habits that depend mostly on the consumption of plants and plant-based food items. This dietary mode of consumption has personal, social, and environmental health benefits that far outweigh the benefits that come with eating a largely meat-dependent diet. Though there are some health risks involved with a purely plant-dependent diet, the risks are easy to mitigate with simple solutions, such as eating fortified foods or taking dietary supplements. Although some civilizations have historically eaten all-meat diets, when compared with plant-based diets, all-meat ones are scientifically and environmentally less desirable. Moreover, there are ethical components to adhering to an all plant-based diet, which continue to inspire more and more meat eaters to change the way they consume food, including the very food they consume. I feel like I could be stronger with having my sources flow together better. Also I am short with my length and I would like to know how to make it longer without adding fluff because it is a research paper. Lastly, I want to have a stronger tie to my thesis with all my paragraphs.

Fabia, you can actually lengthen the content of your essay if you continue to respond to the questions that you posed within your thesis statement. Vary your response by including information gained from the experience of vegetarianism or vegan practitioners in your research. Connect their experience with the research that you came across. More importantly. Don't just focus on creating a supportive research. A supportive research is useless if you do not try to debunk the myths or popular beliefs about the negative effects of vegetarianism and veganism. In order to create a solid foundation for your claim about the benefits of the other 2 alternative food sources, you have to first prove that the popular negative beliefs or bad publicity connected to the belief does not tally with the results of actual research and the experience of the alternative food practitioners. Adding these 2 discussions to your essay will create a more cohesive discussion, a more interesting thesis statement, and also, create more informed readers of your research all the while adding to your length and relevant research content.

## Low land productivity and it's influence on region The pie chart below displays the primary reasons behind low productivity of agriculture land while the table manifests how 3 regions of the world are impacted by these causes through 1990s. It is noticeable from the pie chart that there were three main reasons behind land degradation, deforestation; over-cultivation; over-grazing. However, all of the mentioned factors contributed nearly with equal percentage. On the other hand, Europe has obviously suffered the most from land degradation while North America experienced the least with mentioned factors affected them in in various percentages. Land degradation in 1990s was mainly a result of three different factors; deforestation; over-cultivation and over-grazing, yet these 3 factors contributed almost equally in degrading lands. To enumerate, over- grazing ranked 1st with the percentage of 35; deforestation was the 2nd with 30% value; over-cultivation with 28% and other insignificant minor causes with 7%. In the light of these different factors, many places has been affected. Europe was the most place that suffered from land degradation with a total land degradation of 23% mainly due to deforestation 9.8%. On the contrary, North America experienced the least with 5% of its land suffered from degradation as a result of over cultivation 3.3% . However, Oceania, a large group of islands in the South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand, had no over-cultivation on its land but the total land degraded was 13% . *

Hadeel, you must avoid redundancies of information in your essays. Your irst 2 paragraphs contain the same information in the first half. I think this is caused by your lack of familiarity with the information presented in the pie chart and the data chart. Your overview summary int he first paragraph is also lacking information. You should have divided the topic outline into 3 full sentences covering the types of degradation and the countries that were indicated in the chart. That would have given the overview a more complete feel and allowed your properly outline the discussion and instructions provided in the original instructions. Since your comparison sequence covered 3 different countries, the more proper format for your essay would have been to allow a discussion per country, of the related information, within the same paragraph. So you could have written a total of 5 paragraphs covering the summary, the worldwide comparison, then the percentage per country. This would have allowed for a more accurate and related comparison of information within the essay. Due to the redundancies in the presentation, a lack of cohesiveness and coherence in your discussion, and stress that your information presentation put on the reader, I do not think you can receive a score higher than a 4 for this practice test.

Future of students after finishing their study Ps. Please comment, I need your kindly correction of my grammar and vocabulary on my essay. Thank you. :) The diagrams below ilustrate the destination of UK graduate and postgraduate scholars who did not work full-time after graduating from the university in 2008. In United Kingdom, the greatest destination both of graduate and postgraduate students after they graduated is studying at higher education, either master's program or doctorate program. While working part-time and employment destination had similar numbers which together ranked middle. The lowest destination which displayed in the graph is volunteering in work place. It is having similar at figure 1 and 2 that compared in number of scholars. It has small numbers which dramatically stands last. Since, graduate and postgraduate students in UK is not likely to be volunteer, a work without unclear salary, neither high nor low. To sum up, there is no significant different destination excluding full-time work in UK after graduate and postgraduate students left the university, both of them chose to continue their study than the other destination. * *

Farinda, I normally score the essays presented for review for the students, but in the case of first time participants, such as yourself, I do not give a score because I want to call your attention to the method by which you can improve your writing style and thus, improve your final, overall score as well. Let me get started with the first paragraph. Your first paragraph, is the overview statement. This is the paragraph that calls for your to summarize the topic for discussion, the method of discussion, and other key elements of the essay in an outline form. You are not supposed to present any pertinent discussions in this aspect of the essay yet. Now, the problem with the summary that you wrote, is that it does not cover the complete information presentation per chart. These presentations need to be done as a full sentences instead of a summarized presentation. This is because of the required 3-5 sentence per paragraph requirement of the essay. Any paragraph shorter than 3 sentences will be given a marked down score. You were provided with 3 charts for discussion. Therefore, each chart content should have been represented in a single paragraph. Each paragraph should successfully compare, contrast, and present the information for each section indicated within the chart. This will create a solid and proper discussion that will be considered highly informative by the reviewer. As for the concluding sentence, you will need to increase that by a few sentences in order to create the proper format for the presentation. Your actual discussion is acceptable. It is just that you missed a few important formatting requirements and information in the overall presentation. If you manage to avoid the same problems in the next practice essay, I can accurately score and offer you additional advice then.

**The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.** ## comparing electricity production *The pie charts below demonstrates the generation of electricity in both Germany and France in 2009 from all resources including details about the renewable ones. As can be seen, Germany got the superiority in energy generation in comparison to France, depending mainly in conventional sources of energy while France used mainly nuclear energy. Moreover, both countries utilized fairly the renewable energy in its different kinds as a vital source of generating electricity. For instance, Germany produced mainly biomass energy while France harvested mostly in hydroelectric power. It is noticeable that Germany maintained a higher quantity of energy production with 560 billion kWh compared to 510 billion kWh for France throughout 2009. For instance conventional thermal resources possessed the biggest slice in Germany with the value of 59.6% from the total share. However, conventional thermal energy was the small minority in France energy production depending mainly on nuclear resource as it bearded 76.0% from the whole proportions. At the same time, renewable energy resources had a considerable portion in both countries, but they differed in its type produced. As an illustration, hydroelectric power was the main source of renewable energy produced in France with the percentage of 80.5% followed by wind (10.5%) and finally biomass energy (8.1%). Nevertheless, hydroelectric power generation ranked the 3rd place in Germany with 17.7% while biomass energy ranked the 1st in Germany with 39.35%.* *

Abeeb, when you write the summary overview, it is imperative that you accomplish that paragraph using at least 3 sentences due to task accuracy, grammar range and accuracy, as well as lexical resource. Writing an accurate restatement of the chart instructions will help to increase your score in those 3 areas. With regards to your paragraph bodies, it will always help your essay score when you do not neglect to present the percentage figure as provided in the charts along with your paragraph data presentation. This shows a thorough understanding of the provided information and also, presents the impression that you thoroughly analyzed all the data that you were provided. In a sense, your presentation gains a more personalized and less academic approach. Always consider the type of audience you might be presenting these facts to and write the presentation based upon their ability to understand the technical terms. This is a pretty solid piece of writing even with the shortcomings present. So it may be possible for your score around a 4 with this essay. There were too many skipped information presentations that prevented this essay from scoring any higher than that in the overall scoring consideration.

**A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.** ## what this build brings to the community? Economic profits and environmental maintenance are adversaries in every developing industry process. The development brings the convenience and advanced technology to form a new page of our world. In contrast, it also corrodes the nature as time has elapsed. The project of building a factory will be extremely complicated. Establishing a huge factory might confer hundreds of job opportunities to the local residents. Changing the industrial type would thrive the food stores, convenient stores, and the transportation to meet the demands of the employees. This could turn my community into the center of a prosperous city in the future. Also, there would be some professional experts and extraordinary managers living near the factory. They could have established successful models to the students in the local schools. The idea might causes the irreversible ratification: destroyed environment. A factory could be a serious source of air, chemical, and noise pollution. Once these potential factors impair the environment, the damages might be forever. Furthermore, Building a new and giant factory means the exploit of wide lands. During the construction works, the habitats of natural creatures, the residence of local dweller, and so forth might accept severe impacts. It is possible for them to lose their familiar and beloved home. After accounting for the advantages and disadvantages of the plan, I am on the opposite side of the company. I refuse to have a factory intrude into my community. Although a factory could bring the economic profits, the repercussion of it shadows the bright side. If we can keep away from those detrimental pollution, the residents can live in a healthy mental and physical state. In further, a region with high quality of lifestyle and comfortable environment will become rare and precious in the future. The location of my community will appeal to famous and respectable celebrities. The lifted prices of house and lands will appreciate more than we can expect. The advantages will prevail the profits of short-sighted supporters.

Yin, there is an extreme prompt understanding problem in your essay. You did not properly parasite the prompt discussion and instructions. Adding with that, you failed to present your opinion within the opening statement as it's normally required of this essay. Your disagreement with the opening of the manufacturing plant should not have been left for almost three end of the essay, it should have been the only opinion presented and discussed in the essay. The prompt clearly required only your opinion for the discussion so all the other aspects you discussed are moot and academic. These are not needed because the only necessary supporting statements are those related to your opinion of the topic. These errors are what leads me to believe that you cannot score higher than a 2 in this practice test. This is due to inappropriate examples and discussions that do not immediately allow you to present your opinion and supporting facts. You should not have written a comparison essay, only a personal opinion essay.

## The great stress of graduates With the rapid development of society, recent years have witnessed an increasing number of graduate students facing with too heavy pressures, such as academic stress, economic pressure, emotional stress, but the most serious one may be the stress of job hunting. About a decade ago, graduate students could find suitable and enviable jobs easily after their graduation. But now, things are different. More and more graduate students grumble that it is difficult to find a satisfactory job. From my own perspective, both society and individuals should be responsible for this matter. First of all, it is the contradiction between the ever-expanding number of graduate students and the comparatively less demand from the society that brings about a fiercer competition of the job market. For example, Amy, a graduate student, who is busy submitting her resume through the internet and job fairs, says that since a large number of job positions for her specialty are lost, she has not found a suitable job until now. According to the statistics, there were just 74% of graduate students who had found their jobs last year, and this year the number of graduate students will reach a new high, leading to a decreased chance for students to find jobs. At the same time, many companies are gradually improving their requirements for candidates, making the situation much worse. Through the results of a survey, many recruitment companies have made severe qualifications for graduate students, such as graduating from prestigious universities, getting certain certificates, having practical experience, having a certain height, just male or female and so on. If applicants do not meet the requirements, companies will refuse them immediately. Nevertheless, there are also students who have successfully found their jobs. It is found that many other graduate students who can not find work are in common because of lack of adequate social experience or knowledge to apply for positions they want. For instance, some of them spend most time at school studying academic subjects while lacking relevant job training. On the contrary, some are not interested in their subjects, therefore they are reluctant to do their experiments and even apply to postpone their graduation date. It is not surprising that when they are leaving the university campus to society, both of them feel extremely lost and frustrated in job application. In conclusion, not only the social environment aggravates the pressure of employment for graduate students, but also the students themselves limit them to get a better paid job. All in all, it is necessary for government, society and students to work together to solve this problem urgently.

Mirror, I wish that you had given me an inclination as to what the actual prompt for this essay is. That instruction is very important in my analysis of your work and eventual scoring. I could've given you a more specific review instead. As of now, what I can tell you is that your use of the term "graduate student" is quite possibly wrong. A "graduate student" is someone who has already completed a college level education and is selling to find employment in his field of academic training. That is not the kind of person you describe in your essay. You are describing a college student, who, although a graduate is never referred to as a graduate student but rather, is simply called a "college graduate " or "graduate". Your use of the word "but" at the start of a sentence is academically unacceptable. You can only use but to join two related ideas in one sentence. Since a sentence does not start out presenting an idea, you cannot use the term to compose a stand alone sentence. As for the correctness of your discussion, that is a gray area because you failed to provide the prompt requirement and since I can only advice you once, you just water the opportunity to recurve a comprehensive analysis of your work from me.

## education in ghana is necessary illiteracy is said to be the main factor that hinders growth and development in Ghana. According to the Ghana statistical service about 55% of the total population constitute the illiteracy rate. with children forming about 32% of the total rate. The advancement of the Western World can be attributed to the intense nature of their education policies and programs. Ghana can similarly develop when taken education seriously. The following can be observed to eradicate the canker of illiteracy in Ghana. Firstly, free compulsory basic education will help solve the issue of illiteracy in Ghana. Governments of Ghana must make it their policy to send every child between the school going age to school for the acquisition of knowledge and improve skills for national growth and development. This can be achieve when entrenched in the constitution as a responsibility and duty rather than a right. Accordingly. sanctions shall be meted out to parents who violates this rule. Secondly, the establishment of community libraries to promote reading among school children. A well furnished and stocked community libraries would encourage and promote reading among the students. Students often relax and pays no attention to academic work or exercises at home due to the unavailability of educational facilities such as books and a conducive environment for reading and studying. The existence of these libraries will enhance the students academic performance. Lastly, motivation and encouragement will contribute immensely to the eradication of illiteracy in Ghana. Education has no age limit. As such, the matured individuals who are uneducated must be encourage to get themselves enrolled in adult education programs here in Ghana. Allowances and other incentives can be given to them to encourage them to get enlightened. When all these are keenly observed and practiced, the economic, social, political, and cultural growth of Ghana shall be inevitable.

Daniel, the topic of your essay is the eradication of illiteracy in Ghana. The premise of the essay is sound. There is a problem though, when it comes to your presentation of your problem statement or thesis. In order to interest the reader in the topic you are about to discuss, you must first, present the background of illiteracy in your country, the results of this illiteracy, and why this is a problem that needs to be eradicated. Create a totally new thesis statement to place above the current opening paragraph. All of that information should never be located in the opening statement. That information, is always best used to support the thesis statement in the second paragraph. The supporting paragraphs in the body of the essay are well thought out and presented. It creates a clear idea as to how the problem can be solved. However, it does not consider the other factors in the discussion such as the need to change the constitution, punishing those who violate the rules, and so on and so forth. When you write this sort of essay, you must also work on addressing the possible problems that your suggestions will create and explain how your proposed solution will be able to counter the problems it creates. Now, as for the concluding statement. Do me a favor and take the stand alone sentence up to the existing paragraph. You cannot have a single sentence for a concluding statement. If you don't want to add it to previous paragraph, then effectively conclude the essay by wrapping up the discussion. Restate the problem, summarize your solutions, then close the essay. 3 well developed sentences should suffice. Before I forget, double check your grammar and sentence structure in the early part of the essay. You have a few misplaced words at the start of sentences. Misplaced because you wrote it in lower case letters when it should have been written with the first word capitalized. Remember, a continuation of a sentence uses lower case letters but the first letter of the first word in the given sentence must always be capitalized. That is a basic grammar rule that most essay writers seem to regularly forget.

## who needs English, Chinese or Russian language? Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.Which point of view do you agree with? Learning a foreign language is becoming a trend worldwide.An increasing number of people suppose that people only learn foreign languages to work abroad and visit a foreign country.Others,however,argue that there are several other reasons explaining for this trend.In my opinion,i strongly agree with the later view. First and foremost,people learn foreign languages to satisfy their interest in linguistics.As we see,many people are passionate about languages.Therefore,they learn foreign languages as a way to pursue their passion.My father's case is a specific example.He has a great enthusiasm about languages and he has been learning four foreign languages. In addition,people learn foreign languages to broaden their knowledge.Learning foreign languages gives them opportunities to expose to different cultures,histories and traditions of other nations.As a result,they will gain useful information.For instance,when learning English,i can get knowledge about many things involving England such as English lifestyles or customs. I admit that many people learn foreign languages with a view to travel or work in foreign countries.However,it is only one reason among lots of reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. In conclusion,i believe that people learn foreign languages not only for traveling and working abroad but also for a lot of other reasons.People should take advantage of languages which they have learned to do other things rather than traveling and working.

HIen, in the opening statement, do not use the term "later view" as the correct term is "latter view". In order to properly have used this term you should have referred to the first opinion as the "former" in the sentence where you say that you agree with the last part of the prompt topic. Aside from agreeing with the latter view, you should have indicated, towards the end of the statement that you will be presenting reasons that will support your claims. That is because the opening statement requires you to outline your discussion procedure, without actually presenting any actual data yet. Now, when you speak of your father as evidence of your opinion, you need to expand upon that discussion by offering the languages that he speaks and most importantly, explain why he had a desire to study these languages. Since that discussion needs to be expanded upon, it should be presented as a separate paragraph within the essay. Since there is a 5 paragraph limit in the essay. It would be best for you to pick your evidences. One pro and one con evidence discussion will suffice in these instances because you only have 3 body paragraphs within which you can discuss these evidences. Based on the content of your essay though. The discussion you provided is acceptable and does the job where you need it to. So I do not think that you will score too low with this essay. I would score this a 5 because of the good way that you developed the discussion. I scored you down for the problem portions in order to come closer to an actual test scoring possibility. Never use stand alone sentences in an academic essay. Always make sure that it falls within the 3 sentence format or incorporate that sentence into the existing current paragraph instead. You have this problem in the sentence preceding the concluding statement and, your concluding statement also suffers from the same problem. That is a writing error that you need to be conscious of and should be prepared to correct once you see that you have committed the error in the actual test. Practice the paragraph format at all times while doing the practice test.

## diet and human health Many people change meat in their foods with vegetarian foods such as fruits and vegetables. They do that to keep their body health. Meat contain many substance which are needed by our body. meat contains several substances such as protein, fat, vitamin and so on and the portion will be depended on meat. For instance pork is one kind of meat which is the most substance is fat. Many people avoid to eat pork because they want to decrease fat in their bodies especially the elderly. oldster who do not need much fat will affraid of that. they make up one's mind that it is bad for their health. it can cause disorder such as storke and over cholesterol. Besides, disadvantages of eating too much meat there are also some advantages. First and foremost, meat contain of many substances that are needed by our body. All this matter are required by body especially for growth. Childrean are the group who are the most experience the growth season. So they require meat for their growth. secondly people will lost delicious food by become vegetarian. Many food are served by adding meat on them and the taste will be different with other kinds of food but they can not try it. Based disadvantages and advantages people get by consuming meat, most people who need meat are children and people who became vegetarian are elderly and there are more advantages than disadvantages by eating meat. In summary I agree that become vegetarian is not for health because people will lost some substance which needed by body on meat

Agustina, what test did you write this essay for? Next time you write a practice test, please provide the name of the test you are practicing for and the full prompt that you are responding to, including its instructions. The general review for your essay is not good. There are too many problems with your presentation that needs to be addressed. For starters, you neglected to proof read your essay for grammar appropriateness and spelling. That said, your essay is filled with lower case letters starting off your sentences. The rule of thumb is that the first word of every sentence in English must be capitalized in order to indicate the start of a sentence. You failed to do that in this essay all throughout. You were inconsistent in your use of the first capitalized word so you will definitely receive penalties for that in your final score. Next, keep in mind that you are also scored on the accuracy of your spelling in the essay. So you have to proof read your work and make sure that not a single word is misspelled otherwise, it is another set of markdowns in your final score. This essay's most grave spelling error was "storke" instead of "stroke". Show that you care for your essay by making sure you accurately spell the words. Never mind the grammar inaccuracies. Provided your sentence makes sense to the reader, you will be forgiven for most mistakes in grammar since you are not a native speaker of English. Your opening statement should have had a thesis statement, but I did not see any indicated. That means that you have not properly restated the prompt topic for discussion and the instructions you were given. Therefore, a severe markdown, that could even garner your whole essay a failing score could be delivered to your essay in the end.

## the most frequent movie attenders in Great Britain The line graph describes movie goers by age group in Great Britain from 1984 to 2000. Unit is measured in percentage. Overall, there was an increasing trend across the four age group over the 17 year period. The age group of 15-24 has the highest attendance while 35 and higher age group has the least. Initially, in 1984, the age group of 15-24 movie watchers has the highest attendance, registered at approximately 15%. The trend continued for the next 5 years, however, in 1989, there was a minor decreased before peaking again,recorded at 50% by year 1994. After 5 years, in 1999, it reached its highest peaked just below 60% before falling by the end of 2000. The age group of 7-14 and 25-35 has similar figures, in 1984(10% and around 5% respectively). At the beginning of 1989, both age group experienced fluctuations across the 5 year period. In comparison, by the year 1994, both theater attendees in both age group 7-14 and 25-35 experienced a slight declined before increasing again. The trend continued until the end of 2000 where both age group has the same figure at approximately 32%. The least of the age group, 35 and above, recorded at around 2% in 1984. There was a steady rise across the 10 year period at around 3% increased by 1994. The trend continued with little changes in between before it peaked by 2000, just above 10%. To sum up, movie goers is most popular at age group15-24 while the least popular tends to be on age group 35 and above.

Kristoffer, you must be doing something wrong when you upload the image because it is not showing up in the post. You just have to click on the attach image link in the upper portion of the text box and then choose your image for uploading. I really don't understand why you are not (successfully) attaching the image. It makes it very difficult to review your essay. I will say this though, your essay sounds like it is very informative, provided the facts and figures you are sharing are properly taken from the image you were provided with. Your presentation has improved over the first essay you wrote but still has a problem with proper paragraph presentation. Practice using full stops, with a period, instead of a comma. Stating a fact in one sentence will get you better points then stating connected ideas in one sentence. It will also help you meet the sentence requirement per paragraph. Again, writing more than 150 words is most effective when you use it to increase your lexical resource and grammar accuracy scores. Your concluding paragraph at the end of the essay should have either been longer to meet the sentence requirement and increase your score overall or, included in the previous paragraph since it is only a single sentence. A Task 1 test does not always need a concluding sentence because there is no opinion to be given or topic to be restated. The conclusion is a normal part of the task 2 test instead.

## Modes of Transport in UK The line graph illustrates the amount of goods transported in the UK by four kinds of transportation from 1974 to 2002. Unit is measured in million tonnes. Overall, an increasing trend can be clearly seen across the 28 year period. Road was the most popular among the four different types of transportation while pipeline is the least used. In 1974, the highest mode of transported goods was carried through road, at approximately 70 million tonnes. This was followed by rail and water, 40 and around 38 million tonnes respectively. In comparison, road continued its upwards trend with a slight declined in between year 1978 and 1982 before reaching its peak by the end of 2002. On the other hand, while rail usage declined, reaching its lowest, just above 20 million tonnes, water utilization has increased steadily across 13 years before decreasing shortly after 1998, at around 45 million tonnes before increasing just above 60 million tonnes By 2002. At around 5 million tonnes was used to carry good through pipeline, although, there was an increased across the 28 year period it was still the least popular, registering its highest just above 20 million tonnes by 2002. Please check my work, any suggestion, comments will be highly appreciated. I need to practice because I will take my exam next month.

Kristofffer, since you did not provide the image that you analyzed, which is a required part of the IELTS task 1 presentation in this forum, I will not be able to offer you a score for your essay. All I can do for you at this point is point out your mistakes and comment on possible improvements. Since I will not have access to the provided graph, I will not be able to judge the accuracy of your work based upon the information you were provided for the summary. First of all, writing more than 150 words is always good for your essay. However, if the 150 plus words are not presented in the proper format, then you will lose points under the Task Accuracy and Grammar Range brackets. Always create a paragraph of at least 3 sentences long, maximum of 5. The paragraph number itself should be no less than 3 and no more than 5 in order to allow the reviewer to gain a better idea regarding your English language abilities in relation to your lexical resources, cohesiveness and coherence, and other considerations. So the format you used for the essay would be marked down, even if it is informative and based upon the image you were presented for summarizing. Your first and second paragraphs could have been combined into one paragraph in order to create an accurate summary overview. In terms of format responsiveness, the second paragraph is underdeveloped in discussion. That is the main opinion for that paragraph since it is under the 3 sentence minimum requirement. Only the final paragraph of your essay was written in accordance with the format expectations. I can't help but feel that you just summarized the obvious information and did not go for a more analytical approach to the writing. I can sense that in the way that the presentation is mechanical in delivery. If you had provided the graph, I would have been able to give you proper advice regarding the improvement of your mechanical tone. I can probably do that in your next essay for this task, provided you remember to upload the image along with your essay.

**In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?** ## human different living area These days, people tend to live in big crowded cities where they have less connection with others. In the past, there were both positive and negative sides of living in small areas In my opinion, there were three main benefits. First and foremost, people help each other whenever they have difficulties. In some cases, arguments among members of a family are reconciled by their neighbors. Also, people find it comfortable to share and talk about funny things together. They can organize a meeting at weekends to discuss general problems of the area and how to deal with them. Second, fewer people may cause less crime and environmental pollution. As a result, it's easier to take over and manage a small village. However, I think living in little town has its own disadvantages. One of those is unpleasant feeling as people know each other quite well, which leads to leaking of private information. Sometimes, people find it inconvenient if their neighbors show too much interest in their family's problems. I believe the advantages of staying in a small community are over the disadvantages. Troublesome matters that affect people's private life are minor. Meanwhile, it's great to support each other in community so they can equally develop. People are always surrounded by good friends and neighbors so they never feel lonely.

Hoang, this essay can only score a 3 because of specific, severe problems with your essay. For starters, your opening statement is not only short of the minimum 3 sentence requirement, but it doesn't accurately restate the prompt at all. The prompt asks you to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community. Your discussion however related to past negative and positive sides of living in small areas. Review the prompt requirement again and you will realize that you did not represent the prompt properly. What you decided to discuss, were the past reasons that created a positive and negative side to living in small areas. This is a prompt deviation because the prompt itself did not make any time distinction to make you discuss "past" ideas. Therefore, the discussion should be made regarding present time considerations. While your discussion was somewhat good, it suffered from under developed discussions in a few instances. Specifically in paragraph 3. The conclusion even worsened the problem because you decided to offer an opinion regarding the advantage and disadvantage of living in a small community. Since your opinion is not called for anywhere in the original instructions, you should not have presented it anywhere in the essay. This presentation made the conclusion flawed because you presented a new topic for discussion rather than simply concluding the essay in the expected summary method. It is because of these observations that I believe you cannot get a passing grade with this essay.

**The best way to solve the problem of traffic is to force people to pay tolls when driving in busy roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement** ## toll charge to reduce traffic Traffic congestion has become a major problem in many megacities throughout the world. While some people argue that charging drivers who drive in busy areas is the best solution, I believe there are more practical approaches to mitigate traffic in heavily used roads. There are various reasons that indicate why setting up a tollbooth on busy highways is not a proper method for dealing with traffic. Firstly, construction of toll stands on highways further aggravates the traffic since cars have to stop and pay money which causes traffic and road blockage on its own. Secondly, in numerous studies, it has been proven that cars produce more exhaust fumes when they stop and start moving again. This is the exact case when they reach tollbooths and therefore, they are polluting the air even further. Finally, infrastructure and buildings that are needed for charging drivers on roads, demands huge sums of public budget that could be spent on more urgent issues like maintaining and standardization of highways. In many developed countries, governments are using traffic prevention policies that are far more functional than charging money. As with any other social issue, education plays a significant role in discouraging people from using private cars, and thus lowering traffic and its related issues. Teaching school children about benefits of public transport, producing television programs that informs society regarding consequences of traffic congestion are examples of policies that governments could follow to reduce traffic. Apart from education, city officials should constantly work on providing state of the art and standard transport systems like monorails and high-speed underground trains, particularly in dense city streets. Therefore, not only public official should educate people, they should also put their focus on implementing modern and more advanced public transport facilities. In conclusion, I believe pressuring individuals to pay money for traveling on busy roads is not a practicable solution for traffic congestion and the focus of public officials should be on more creative and preventive approaches.

Adib, I think that you can receive an overall score of 3 with this essay. The main weak point that I can see with your writing is that your opening statement does not properly respond to the task provided. You made it clear that you would be suggesting alternative solutions to the traffic congestion problem rather than presenting reasons as to why you disagree with the statement. In fact, you did not even signify that you disagreed with the statement at the end of the first paragraph, where your opinion was expected to be presented. Due to the mistake in your thesis statement presentation, you did not manage to properly address the prompt instruction which clearly stated that you were to simply defend why you were in agreement or disagreement with the topic statement. As such, you have shown a failure to address the task due to a prompt misunderstanding. This serious error in your presentation is what led to the failing score of your essay.

*Dear instructor, Please help me look at this one I wrote and checked. Much appreciated! -- Sheryl* **Task 1 "Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world"** ## the analysis of water usage in the world The charts give us information on water use in six regions of the world. It seems obvious that developed areas differ from developing ones in terms of the way that the largest amount of water is used. In the developed areas of North America and Europe, industrial uses takes up 48% and 53% respectively. By contrast, developing areas, such as Central Asia and South East Asia, allocate much less water(from 5% to 12%) for industrial purpose. With no more than 20% (10%, considering 3 out of the 4 developing regions) of water distributed to households, developing regions have most of their water resources used for agriculture. The percentage goes up to 88% in Central Asia, while the proportion in South East Asia, though lower than the other two developing regions, still contributes to 81% of total use. So as we can see, water use among areas depend largely on their structure and conditions of economy. The difference can be extremely significant comparing industrialized and under-development states.

Sheryl, please do not expect me to rate your essay based on the band score because you did not provide the chart illustration for me to use in comparing your work with the provided information. I want to be fair to you and judge the essay based upon the provided parameters. I can tell you though that your essay suffers from a lack of thought development because you have some paragraphs that are extremely short in presentation and as such, does not really offer a fully developed analysis or argument for the information you are providing. You need to use at least 3 sentences per paragraph. Additionally, you should not present the information enclosed in parenthesis because these are not additional information that you are providing, but actual information based upon the prompt you were provided with. It is because of these parenthetical presentations that your essay suffers in the cohesiveness and coherence, as well as grammatical accuracy portion of the band score. All your paragraphs do not meet the minimum requirement and therefore, cannot be considered fully developed. While some ideas are presented in the 2 sentences, there is no definitive reason for the reader to believe the information you are providing. That only comes from the direct, instead of parenthetical, presentation of the information in the original chart. I can sense some analytical presentations in the essay though. That tells me that you studied the graph somehow. I cannot tell how effective you analysis is though, because you failed to include the illustration with the original posting. So these problems would have lowered your score in a major way. I just can't be specific about the score because of the lack of illustrated information for me to consider.

*Governments should offer a free university education to any student who has been admitted to a university but who cannot afford the tuition.* ## Tuition-Free Education for All Students **Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.** My response: This topic raises the controversial issue of whether a free university education should be offered to admitted students who cannot pay tuition. Indisputably, it is the main responsibility of the government to provide a university educational system for all individuals in the society. they have to get equal chances in this system. Nevertheless, a free education system can't be free for all admitted students in all cases even those who can't afford tution. Thus I disagree with the statement that all students who can't afford tuition should all have free university education and would argue that this free university education should be given under certain conditions. First of all, it is the right of everyone to get his chance in completing his education after high school. I would like to point out that the government funding is for all those people may be not enough. to illustrate let us look at the example of governmental funding of $ 100,000 for those students and each student expense is $ 10,000 for his university education. in this circumstance, obviously that funding can be given only for 10 students who can't afford tuition not to all of them. Consequently, it is pretty obvious that free university can't be offered to all. Further more, if the government has to offer all those students free university education, it would have to get a big source funding. if it offer this free education without certain criteria of choosing those who deserve, it will be a kind of wasting country saving. Hence all the evidence above demonstrate that free education should be offered according to condition and a way that guarantee choosing the best of those students who can not afford tuition. Admittedly, everyone has to get equal chance in education. This is true but he has to show that he deserve this free university education offer. In addition to, this will to guarantee that the country is investing in the right person. However, the above argument doesn't constitute a sufficient support to claim the governmental funds should be given under certain circumstances. In conclusion, although it is important to provide admitted students chance to have university education, the government can't support them all. It has to be certain criteria to choose the best of them.

Sayed, while your thought organization can possibly score up to a 4 in this essay, your overall score cannot be higher than a 2. That is the analysis that I came up upon observing certain serious problems with your work. You cannot score higher than a 2 in the portions related to quality of ideas, writing style, and grammar and usage. One of the biggest problems of your essay is your total disregard for the capital writing rules which dictate that the first letter of every word in a new sentence must be capitalized. Your grammar and usage leaves the reader a bit confused and stressed, which requires repeated reading of your work. You also have a serious problem when it comes to your word choice and sentence structure. These are serious weaknesses when it comes to analytical writing that created some serious scoring problems for your essay.

## Sleep and your health care provider Sleep has been the subject of study for many years. Through the years we have discovered it's purpose and gained an understanding of its importance. However, many people still don't get enough of it. This can be due to an illness, disorder, Jet lag or even their day-to-day schedules. One area of interest, specifically, is how sleep affects individuals in the health care industry. As many know, the work schedules of health care providers on average is hectic and requires unusual hours to be worked. This work schedule increases fatigue and decreases cognitive function of health care providers, leading to a negative impact on patient safety and care. Cognitive function is closely related to the amount of sleep a person receives on a daily basis. An average adult should get between 7-9 hours of sleep to function at his or her best. Although in some cases this isn't always feasible. Humans are equipped with biological clocks that control biological rhythms that effect sleep patterns. (Goel 2013) There are four biological rhythms that regulate bodily functions. These rhythms are known as the circadian, diurnal, ultradian and infradian rhythm. Each has its own function on the human body. However, the circadian and diurnal rhythms are the two rhythms that play major biological roles in an individuals sleep cycle. (Hedge 2013) The circadian rhythms are physiological, psychological and behavioral changes that occur over a 24-hour period and are effected by natural internal factors within the body. The diurnal rhythm is an extension of the circadian rhythm, so it acts in the same manner but it is affected by external causes such as cycles of light and dark as well as social contact. The circadian rhythm is controlled by a group of cells located in the hypothalamus of the brain. This part of the brain is known as the Suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN). This group of cells responds to light and dark and signals the diurnal rhythm when it is time for the body to wake up or go to sleep. After the diurnal rhythm is signaled, the circadian rhythm is signaled, which then sends signals to other parts of the brain that control hormones, body temperatures, levels of alertness, reaction times and other functions that make us feel awake or sleepy. For example, when the diurnal rhythm responds to light it causes the circadian rhythm to send signals to decrease the output of the hormone melatonin, which is associated with the onset of sleep. Therefore, when light is scene the body will feel more awake and when light is absent the body will feel sleepier. (Goel 2013) An individual should listen to and follow his or her body's signals of when to go to sleep and when to wake up. This will help keep their body's circadian rhythm balanced. When the biological clock is not followed the circadian rhythm will become disrupted. This disruption can lead to weight gain, impulsiveness, delayed thinking and reaction times, poor executive function and poor emotional control. Author Iliad Karasoreos, PhD, of Rockefeller University stated, "These disruptions are not only a nuisance, they can lead to serious health and safety problems." (Stimpfel, Sloane, Aiken 2012) The circadian rhythm can become disrupted when there is a rapid change to sleep patterns. Such as not getting enough sleep or waking up and going to bed at different hours. The circadian rhythm does have the ability to adjust and resynchronize but it is a challenging task for the body due to internal and external stimuli. The circadian rhythm can only shift 1-2 hours a day which means resynchronization can take up to several days depending on how drastic the shift in time. (Goel 2013) For instance, when a worker transitions from a day time shift to a night time shift, even after three to five shift, which is about a full work week the body still will not be 100% adjusted. The body will only be adjusted enough to make it easier on the person to stay more awake throughout the night. But he or she will still not be fully functional. For this reason, it is important for people to stick to a constant schedule. Although it's not always possible do to shift work, such as the shift work of medical residents, physicians and nurses. Shift work is considered to be a schedule outside side of the average 9-5 work schedule typically worked in America. These shifts can be overnight, anything more than eight hours of work time or schedules that constantly rotate. These schedules do have many advantages but they also come with many risk factors. One of the main more serious risk factors is the disturbance to sleep, which can lead to excessive sleepiness or fatigue. Fatigue can lead to a plethora of problems not wanted in the work place, especially in the health care the setting. Some of these problems are irritability, lapse in memory, decreased empathy, slower reaction times, compromised problem solving and reaction times as well as many others. Some researchers suggest that the symptoms of fatigue are just a problematic as individuals that are inebriated. Sometimes the symptoms of fatigue caused by shift work are refereed to as "industrial lag." (Price 2011) Shift work can be found across many field and industries. One of the most common field shift work is scene in is health care. This is mainly duo to the 24/7 medical care that needs to be provided all around the country. This mean nurses, doctors and medical resident/students are subject to the effects of shift work. On average hospital nurses work 8-12 hours a daily. They will either work in the day or night or at some hospitals they may even rotate between day and night shifts. Most nurses work 3-5 day a week but on some occasions the may even work six days a weak. Some nurses may have an on call requirement which means they are not formally on duty but they must be available to assist in a medical emergency when needed. Physicians also experience shift work. The work schedule of fully certified physicians does vary depending upon the specialty, location and if the physicians work in a private practice or a hospital. However, the average hours worked amongst physicians in America considering all factors is approximately 59.6 hours a week. Like nurses, some doctors may be required to be on call for a certain amount of days out of the week and they may rotate between day and night shifts. (Eddy 2005) Medical residence and students are also familiar with shift work. These individuals may even exhibit more severe symptoms of fatigue than nurses and physicians. The average resident works roughly 90 hours a week. They also work shifts known as heavy call rotations. These heavy call rotations consist of residents being on call two to three days a week with, one 24 hours day off out of a 7-day period. Within this rotation they are required to experience both day and night shifts. (Lockley, Barger 2007) These work schedules pose a disruption to the workers circadian rhythm, which can lead to unruly systems exhibited in the work place. Nurse, Laura A. Stokowski, when interviewed stated " [when working the night shift] you have to find the time to get good sleep during the day or you cannot make it through the night. You feel sick to your stomach and your body shuts down no matter how hard you try to stay awake." These extreme work schedules are hard on a person's body and mind. Nurses, doctors and residents working with these disruptions may also lead to poor patient care and safety. Over the past two decades there have been several studies conducted regarding the relationship between the schedules of health care providers and medical errors. The Harvard work hours, health and safety group lead by Rogers and Scott conducted two studies focusing on nurses shift work. In one of their studies they discovered that 34% of the nurses that worked more than 12.5 hours were three times more likely to make a medical error than the nurses that worked 8-hour shifts. In the second study conducted. A sample of 502 nurses that worked 12.5-hour shifts was used and the findings showed that 67% of the nurses had two times more medical errors than the nurses that worked a regular 8-hour shift. In studies that focused on physician's schedules on medical errors the conclusions were similar to that of nurses. On behalf of the ACGME, Philibet analyzed 60 studies on the effects of sleep deprivation and physicians. The analysis concluded that the physicians that worked or were on call for more than 24 hours had a 10% decrease in overall performance. (Lockley, Barger 2007) In another study conducted on a group of surgeons demonstrated that over four consecutive night shifts those surgeons were at a higher risk of medical errors than the surgeons that worked 12-hour shifts during the day. (Mandawat 2015) In research that focused on medical students, resident and interns the findings were even more severe than the focused research on nurses and physicians. One of the studies compared residents working 16-hour overnight shifts to residents that worked the same amount of hours during the day shift. The findings showed that the resident that worked the overnight shift had two times more as many failures regarding attention to details. The results also showed that 36% of the residents committed serious medical errors. In another study conducted on interns 2006 by the National Academy of science found that interns that worked just three hours more than their coworkers had 22% more critical errors that increased that chances of morbidity and mortality. (Stimpfel, Sloane, Aiken 2012) These research results indicate that the schedules of medical professionals can cause serious medical issues to the patients they treat. A group of john Hopkins patient safety experts, over an eight-year span, calculated that there are over 440,000 death per year due to medical errors in the U.S alone. This makes medical errors the third most leading cause of death in America. It is estimated that out of the 440,000 deaths caused by medical errors approximately 100,000 of those errors are due to resident, nurse and physician sleep deprivation or fatigue. These results also raise red flags for medical policy makers and safety advocates to research more into this issue and discover plans of action to reduce these percentages. (Daniel 2016) Not only is patient safety affected by the fatigue and sleep deprivation induced by the shift work but patient care and satisfaction may also be compromised. An American Medical Association study released last fall revealed that physicians who feel overworked, over scrutinized or overburdened with unfulfilling tasks can suffer continually from a growing sense that they are neglecting the professional priorities that really matter-their patients. (Stimpfel, Sloane, Aiken 2012) All of the evidence from current research suggests that shift work does lead to a decrease in performance for a substantial amount of workers in the health care industry. Nurses that work more than 12-hour shifts are 2.5 times more likely to make medical errors. Doctors that worked night shift have 10% more chance to make medical errors than the doctors that work the day shift. Residents that work more than 16 hours and rotate between day and night shifts have a 36% chance of making critical medical errors. These findings are now forcing health care policy makers to make decisions about how to address this dilemma. It's a complicated decision because health care is need 24/7 but it is biologically difficult for people to work during the night and still have full cognitive function. Bottom line the work hours of health care providers are unsafe to the workers and the patients. Do reduce the risk these schedules create health care policy makers need to create limits as to how many hours a nurse, doctor and resident can work within a day. There should also be set times provider for these workers to take nap if shorter shifts are not feasible. As well as provided information about the signs of fatigue and sleep deprivation and ways to cope with them. Eventually with new policy there will be a decrease in the number of medical errors induced from fatigue and sleep deprivation. Work cited: Daniel, Michael. "Study Suggests Medical Errors Now Third Leading Cause Of Death in the U.S. Eddy, Richard, MD. "Sleep Deprivation among Physicians." BC Medical Journal. BCMJ Goel, Namni et al. "Circadian Rhythms, Sleep Deprivation, and Human Performance." Progress in molecular biology and translational science 119 Hedge, Alan. "Biological Rhythms." Cornell University Lockley, Steven L., PhD, and Laura K. Barger, PhD. "Effects of Health Care Provider Work Hours and Sleep Deprivation on Safety and Performance." Mandawat, Anant, MD. "The Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Surgeons - and Their Patients." Olson, Eric J., Lisa A. Drage, and R. Robert Auger. "Sleep Deprivation, Physician Performance, and Patient Safety." Price, Michael. "The Risks of Night Work." American Psychological Association. Vol 42 Stimpfel, Amy Witkoski, Douglas M. Sloane, and Linda H. Aiken. "The Longer The Shifts For Hospital Nurses, The Higher The Levels Of Burnout And Patient Dissatisfaction." Health affairs (Project Hope)

Rio, your thesis statement is not very clear. You make a statement of fact within the paragraph without an indication of the statement of the problem. We already know that overworked doctors tend to make mistakes on the job. The question thesis statement should be "In as much as sleep deprivation causes doctors to make mistakes on the job, there is still no clear understanding as to why sleep deprivation affects the motor, sensory, and analytical capacity of medical practitioners. This essay will try to understand how these performance faculties are affected and why among tired doctors." You need to learn how to properly present in-text citations in your essay. As much as possible, do not present two quotes within one paragraph as that creates a solely quoted paragraph instead of a restated paragraph. That might be flagged by the plagiarism checker of your professor. When you write the reference to citations, make sure that the reader will be clear about where your voice starts in the essay and when it transitions into the quotation. Words such as "According to" or "Based upon my understanding of the work by" can help in differentiating your thoughts from that of the quoted material. Right now, these seem to be combined in your presentation.

## consumption of fast food in australia *The line chart below gives information about the quantity and the type of junk food eaten by Australian adolescents between 1975 and 2000. All in all, Pizza and Hamburgers had a similar profile as they continue to rise sharply till finally reached constant value. Conversely, Fish and Chicken had fluctuated line until nearly 1983 when they plunged suddenly. It's remarkable that Pizza profile started and continued in rising at the beginning with Hamburger's got higher extent in distribution between Australian teenagers. For instance, in 1980 teenagers had eaten pizza reached almost 20 times a year while hamburger consumption was nearly 63 times per year. However, both had increased till around 83 for Pizza and 100 times eaten per year for Hamburgers then stopped rising, this was in nearly 1990. On the other hand, the Fish and Chips was the most popular amongst other fast food mentioned previously as it peaked in around 1972 to reach 100 times eaten per year. In spite of this, the line became fluctuated to fall in about 1980 then the last peak was nearly in 1983 just below 100 times. After all, the popularity of this kind of snacks had fallen steeply to reach its lowest point in around 2000.* *

Amjad, the essay that you wrote could have been better if you had followed the format requirements for the summary overview. Rather than writing two separate short sentences at the start, you should have instead, combined that information into the first paragraph. It could have been combined because the information provided is an accurate overview of the forthcoming discussion. Thus, you would have created a clear outline for the discussion paragraphs. One of the strong points of this essay is the fact that you clearly analyzed all of the provided information. This is reflected in the way that you were able to make an acceptable assumption regarding the consumption of Pizza at 83 when the graph did not clearly make a reference to digits. This shows that you can properly analyze the essay even in the English language. Your presentation is very good. Save for that one problem at the start of the essay, I do not see why this cannot earn you a score of 6 or 7.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ## Child - School - Reasoning The debate over whether children should be taught about moral lessons in a domestic or external environment has attracted international attention among both the professional and non-professional. While family upbringing, as supported by many, is an important contributor to a child's mannerism, the strong influence that schools have on the young generation cannot be ignored. In the essay, I would like to discuss both sides of the argument before presenting my own opinion. Those in favour of parental guidance on the proper behavioural tendency of a child propose a convincing line of reasoning. It is argued that since parents have been in close proximity of their children for a long time, they are more capable of instilling moral precepts in the young mind. Small children have a propensity to imitate behaviours of adult members in the family. Therefore, those brought up in homes where parents conduct in an appropriate manner are likely to mature into ethical citizens. Moreover, parents are in a better position to correct their children wrongful behaviours from the very beginning by imposing punishments or giving invaluable advice, thus preventing any potential unlawful acts conducted by them in the future. However, ideas outlined above are not supported by some who subscribe to the notion that schools should be mainly responsible for producing good members of the society. According to their point of view, children cannot forever live under parental protection and have to enter a whole new world at some point in their life. Education institutions will serve as a platform where children begin to make social contact with people from different backgrounds, through which they will develop many social skills and learn how to behave in an acceptable way. Furthermore, once entering the education system, a child must follow the regulations set by the school as well as obey his teachers' instructions. This will shape the conducting pattern in the young, supplying them with adequate necessary tools to step into the society. After considering both views, I am convinced that a joint effort by domestic and school education is essential for the development of desirable personality traits among the young. please help me with this essay. suspended for useless thread title.

Nguyen, the opening statement which is supposed to be a paraphrasing of the original prompt is not very clear. The original prompt is related to the method by which a child can be taught to be a good member of society. Your restatement is all about the moral lessons that should be taught to a child. Teaching a moral lesson is not the same as teaching a child how to be a good member of society. A moral lesson is learned or taught after a mistake is made. Teaching a child to be a good member of society is taught on a continual basis, regardless of whether or not a mistake was made by the child. Your personal opinion must never be part of a conclusion. It should be a separate paragraph that is supported by evidence that will convince the reader of your stand on the given topic. The conclusion should only restate the prompt, the two sides discussed, and finally, a short representation of your personal opinion to close the essay. Based on these observations, the score of your essay will not be more than 4.

## What you wear is who you are There is an old saying in China that "horses rely on their saddles while people rely on their clothes". I have three statement for approving that different clothes influence on the way people behave: first of all according to different occasions we choose different clothes, Second clothes may determine the activities or jobs we undertake and at last sometimes our feeling is the one that decide what we should we were. While it is true that people may undertake different activity although they are wearing the same kind of clothes everywhere and their basic behavior won't change. It must also recognized that we choose different cloth for different cloths. While you cannot always dress in your best every minute of the day, you should dress for the occasion, activity or setting. What may be appropriate for a picnic (shorts or blouse) is not when dining at an upscale restaurant. Pajamas are great to sleep in, but wearing such clothing in public should not be done. Jeans and T-shirts are fine for hanging out but aren't for every occasion. Although many people claim that since we are an independent human being, our minds which decide our behavior should be independent too. One can also argue that we are expected to behave in a particular way when we are wearing particularly kind of clothes. When someone wears the costume of a king, he will start to behave differently. This liability restricts the king to behave like ordinary people. If the king start to behave like ordinary people, others will make fun of him and it can cause the country to collapse. On the other hand if king show royalty, people completely obey him. Some people believe that society expect us to behave like "ladies and gentlemen" in formal situations, and it is needed for us to conform to the norms of society. It can also be argued that we have the right to choose our clothes, and we can wear what we like. We should be our own master instead of just following the norms and losing our own style, it was we who choose to wear different clothes, we can wear warm and colorful because we feel so happy and energetic to day or we may choose a hat instead of a pair of sun glasses for we thinks it is the fashion of today. To sum up, as I mentioned in the beginning, clothes are definitely the article that can control our behaviors. How we behave may change with clothes; in the other word, our conditions, feelings and activities have straightly influenced on the way of our clothing.

Saman, one of the policies of the forum is that you must include the prompt statement in your posting so that your essay can be accurately reviewed for compliance with the prompt requirements. That is more for the benefit of the other users here who may wish to assist you in reviewing your essay and not the contributor because I am highly familiar with the various prompts for various English tests. That said, I am going to tell you what the faults of this essay are. The first fault, is that there is no proper paraphrasing of the prompt statement. The first paragraph of a TOEFL test is meant to test your English comprehension skills. That is why you are required to deliver the topic for discussion in your own understanding. Simply relaying a Chinese proverb does not accomplish that task. You must always do your best to represent the original topic for discussion and the instructions for the discussion. You should not discuss the facts of your essay in the opening statement. The proper introduction for this would have been: *Some people believe that clothes dictate the way that a person behaves. Depending what a person a wearing, his clothes have the ability to influence the way that he conducts himself in a public setting. I strongly agree with this statement based on 3 well known and commonly accepted reasons. I will discuss these reasons below.* Your essay discussion is sound and acceptable. You have used accurate examples in the defense of your stance and offer the reader a chance to consider all of your reasons based upon the everyday applications and observations of the way people dress. There is a problem in your sentence development though. In paragraph 2 sentence 1, you created a hanging sentence. It does not have a complete though presentation because the end result of the thought you presented is unclear to the reader. Practice complete thought development at all times and review your essay sentences for coherence before submitting the essay for scoring. The conclusion is also problematic because of the way you presented it. Since the required sentence presentation is always a minimum of 3 and a maximum of 5, you must always practice using full stops with a period instead of presenting a continuous thought process with the use commas and semicolons. Even with these pre-existing mistakes in your essay, it will still probably get a decent score of 4 at the most, 3 at the least.

## the amount of energy produced in the usa The charts provide information about the amount of energy produced by five important sources in America over the course of 10 years, beginning in 1980. Looking at the charts, it is immediately obvious that there was relatively little change in the proportions of the other fuels used to generate energy from 1980 to 1990, except for hydro. It is also noticed that Coal was the main source in both years. In 1980, 42% of energy production came from oil and the figure decreased to 25% in ten years latter. By contrast, the proportion of natural gas used as a source for manufacturing energy, which remained almost stable at 26% in 1980, with 25% in 1990. However, coal experienced a slight decrease from 22% in 1980 to 27% in 1990, which overtook the rate of natural gas. On the other hand, the amount of hydroelectric power remained constantly at 5% of the total in both years, which was its lowest point during the whole pie charts. Finally, in 1990, the nuclear power went up by 5% from the 1980 figure of 5%. *

Truong, there is a specific format that has to be followed when writing a summary essay for a lecturer. The tone needs to be more academic in nature and also, provides a respectful deference towards the target reader. Therefore, the opening sentence for this essay should have sounded something like this: *America consumes energy coming from 5 different sources. In order to better understand the method by which the country consumes power, one must first analyze the amount of energy consumed per resource. This essay shall shed light on the five sources of power, making percentage comparisons where necessary for energy consumed during the decades of 1980 and 1990 using 2 previously provided pie charts.* Note, the academic research tone of the opening statement. Since this paper is to be presented to a university lecturer, a clear thesis statement and outline of discussion, plus the preliminary sources of information must be provided. Consider this sort of a thesis statement presentation. The academic tone must be consistent throughout the essay and also, clearly discuss the sources of energy in a chronological manner, either from biggest to smallest or smallest to biggest. The comparisons are necessary whenever the gap between uses of the same energy source is up to one percent in difference. Now, based upon the example given above, I am sure that you noticed the shortcoming of your summary statement. Make sure to pattern your future writing, regardless of the target audience, after the example above. The lecturer reader should be assumed in all of your writing in order to create a stronger summary statement every time. The same goes for your concluding sentence. It is short of the 3 sentence minimum requirement. Always do your best to accurately divide the discussion topics so that you will not be left short of the required sentence count towards the end of the essay. The tone of your essay is also highly mechanical in nature. It is obvious that you only wanted to present the information provided, you did not want to delve deeper and give a more detailed analysis of the charts even though the opportunity to do so existed. I hate to say this but for every short cut you took and every mechanical detail you presented, I had to mark down your essay. The marking down reached the point where the overall score of your essay was reduced to a 5. The strongest reason for the markdown was the mechanical nature of your presentation and lack of presentation development when it came to the provided data.

## cinema visitors in great britain The line graph given compares four age groups of people (7-14, 15-24, 25-35 and over 35 years old) in terms of going to movie theater in Great Britain from 1984 to 2000. Overall, there was a general increase in all four groups over the 16-year period, despite some fluctuations. The figure of 15 to 24 years old group remained the highest in the most years while the porportion of aldults over 35 years old accounted the smallest. In 1984, the number of teenagers from 15 to 24 attended cinema activities stood at approximately 16% and then this number rose up to around 32% in 1990s. Before reaching the peak of nearly 60% in 1999, there was dramatical fluctuations from 1990 to 1996, still below 50%. With the same trend, the porportion of chidlren from 7 to 14 years old underwent certain flutuations over the samilar period before 1990s and got the highest point over the whole line graph with almost 40% in 1998 and then dropped down to below 30%. It can be seen from the graph that the figure of young aldults in 25-35 years old group varied less significant than two above groups. This figure stood at around 5% in 1984 and with some slight fluctuations and finally increased to below 30%. In contrast, the proportion of people over 35 years old increased steadily throughout the period of 16 years old form about 3% to 14% in 2000. *

Tran, I wonder if you were not provided with the prompt description and requirements for the discussion regarding the graph. Normally, the statement overview requires a paraphrasing of the original instructions and topic for discussion, without the presentation of any actual facts and figures from the chart immediately. Since your essay did not follow this format, I am not sure if you accomplished that part of the task properly. Having said that, I will disregard the fact that I have some doubts about the first paragraph. Without that consideration, this essay can easily score a 7(in my opinion) because of the accuracy of your factual presentation and your English writing abilities, all considered. Your score would have been improved if you had used more full sentences instead of using connecting words such as "and" in the essay. Try to learn how to develop short but concise and informative sentences that do not rely on repetitive presentations and connecting words in order to show a higher level of English vocabulary and grammar abilities. Good job on this essay just the same. It is one of the best that I have read here.

**Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.** ## to continue study or not High school leavers are often presented with a puzzling choice of whether to embark on a third-level education or land a job immediately. While people in favour of the former point of view are in the belief that authentic knowledge and skills acquired in university lay groundwork for one's successful careers, entering the job market right after graduation are not without its merits. In this essay, I would like to examine both sides of the argument before reaching a reasonable conclusion On the one hand, there are definite beneficial aspects of receiving higher education. First of all, those who espouse the idea of enrolling in a college or university are positioning themselves for better employment opportunities. This is mainly due to the fact that on entering a tertiary institution, learners can get access to a professional teaching staff that is rich in experience and expertise, thus allowing themselves to absorb abstruse learning concept more efficiently. Besides, a university degree is a requisite for the majority of occupations in the modern world, without which one could not aspire to secure a highly-paid position in a company. Secondly, since many third-level institutions offer field trips or include the internship as a study component, students can get valuable first-hand experience during their university life and make improvement so as to be more competitive and competent in the future industry. On the other hand, individuals reap a wide range of benefits if launching a career without applying for third-year education. Firstly, getting a salary will mean that one does not have to depend on one's parents for financial support. For example, a youngster can easily fulfil her daily basic needs such as food or clothes as well as satisfy other entertainment pursuits, namely shopping and seeing a movie without any financial constraints. Moreover, entering the job market undoubtedly expose a person to the real world. To put it more clearly, one will have to make regular contacts with people from different backgrounds, and that will not only enrich one's own experience in terms of social and interpersonal skills but also toughen one for any unfortunate events that might happen. To sum up, benefits accruing to both sides of the argument are overwhelming. However, it is advisable for young adults to consider carefully before arriving at the final decision which can have a long-lasting impact on their future life.

Nguyen, you almost got the opening paraphrasing of the instructions completely right. You made a mistake when you said that you come to a conclusion about the topic instead of saying that you were going to offer your personal opinion on the topic. The personal opinion is the instruction given by the original prompt and is what you should have presented towards the end of the essay. You are not expected to come to a conclusion, which translates into a decision about the topic provided because your role here is merely to inform the reader, not make a decision for them. So you your approach to the essay discussion is partly in error. As for your discussion proper, there are a few improvements that need to be made in your future essays since you made the mistakes in this essay. You are given only a limited time with which you develop a draft and finalize your essay. Therefore, you must always concentrate on delivering the strongest possible argument for your discussion. As such, you should never present more than one, fully developed and discussed line of reasoning per paragraph. Delivering small reasons, such as you did in this essay, without allowing enough space for proper defense and development of the opinion results in a less informative essay. It is imperative that you present your strongest discussion, even if based only upon one fact. That is because it is not the number of reasons that are being counted here, but your ability to defend or oppose a given statement in a coherent and cohesive English based approach. The conclusion is definitely faulty because you failed to present a personal opinion prior to the conclusion of the essay. Since the instructions are clear about you discussing two sides and then giving your personal opinion, you cannot claim that the whole essay is based upon your personal opinion. These are the major reasons that your final score has to be a low 4.

**University students should have right about wheter they attend the classes or not?** ## students' presence in a school It seems to be true that higher education level is dominated by adult learners. As such, many claim that the students in university can choose to attend the classes or not because they have right to do so. Albeit the institution has their specific role regarding the student presence, I prefer to agree with this notion due to several justifications. First and and foremost, studying in university is different with studying in the school. This comparison can be seen from the curriculum they used. University's curriculum has designed to be more flexible based on each major's need. Likewise, the source of information that lecturer used is more variatif and sometimes can be found in internet. That is why, student can learn it outside the class. Hence, it proves that student can determine their presence or absentation in the class room. Another justification comes from the fact that university students tend to get involved in many different organisations in order for improving their self-development. As a result, they can not stay in the class totally. Interrestingly, there a lot of cases that someone who is seldom following the class has a high achievement too. Taking my friend, vera, as instance. She is very active in her research organisation. Thus, she rare to involve class, but she usually learn her subject outside the class or lend her friend's book. Ultimately, she has a high score in her class and being the best graduate in her major. This example has proven that absenteeism is not the only one measurement to be glorious in university. More than that, the key word is how students managing their priority. In conclusion, although a fully presence is good for student, it seems to me that it will be wrong for obligating university's student for this rule. I personally prefer to saying that they have right to consider some decision whether they attend classes or vice versa. Furthermore, students in higher education need to develope their self with enrole in several organisations.

Sriwidayani, the first problem of this essay is that you did not include the original prompt requirement in the presentation of the essay instructions. A provided title does not us what we need to know about the requirements of the topic you are being asked to discuss. It is important that you always attach the original instructions when you as us to review your essay. The second problem with your essay has a lot to do with the first problem. The opening statement must always be a proper paraphrasing of the original prompt topic and required discussion instructions, prior to the presentation of your opinion. In this instance, your paraphrasing is not clear. It does not really tell the reader what the topic is about in an understandable manner and your outline for discussion is non-existent. So when you present your opinion to the reader, the question becomes "What is this person talking about?" These problems will result in a failing task accuracy score. Your lexical resource should never include localized language such as "variatif". It is imperative that you use only accurate American or British English words (depending upon the kind of test you are taking). When you use localized (English) slang, the examiner will most likely not know what you are talking about and consider this a lexical error, which will result in deducted points based upon unfamiliarity with the English language. When you speak of your friend Vera, make sure the capitalize her name as that is a proper noun. Your last sentence is incorrect because you used the term "keyword" which means one word that delivers the meaning of a sentence. In this sentence, you required a whole phrase to describe the subject of the sentence. So you should have said "Key words" or "Key Phrase" instead.

**Topic: Some people think that economic growth is the only way to stop the poverty and hunger. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? (write approximately 300 words)** ## Solutions to curb the poverty and starvation It is believed that only economic progress can put a stop to the poverty and hunger. From my perspective, I disagree with this point of view. As far as I am concerned, there are many factors, which are more decisive and vital than economic development, can give rise to the decrease of the poverty and hunger in a country. First of all, In order to make a country become wealthier, an out-standing education system is a key factor. As we all know, education provides people many useful skills to develop and become talented. For instance, people are taught numerous moral lessons, which deters them from committing the crimes, and therefore become good residents for the societies. Additionally, well-educated people are also equipped with specialized knowledge. With know-how they have gained, people such as workers, doctors or engineers will have abilities to work efficiently as well as make great contributions to their countries. Another criterion to curb the poverty and starvation is the authority's policies. It is inevitable that the government's decisions will have tremendous impacts on the developments of the country. The authority's orders and plans are much more important than economic progress, simply because the leaders' strategies will lay the foundations for the nation's growth. If those in control focus on solving the starvation and allocating national budgets on supporting people who from low socio-economic background, the poverty and hunger will certainly decline. It is obvious that the authority is the root of every nation. The positive contributions of the responsible leaders will, therefore, lead to the country's prosperity and set a limit on hunger and poverty rate. All in all, even though economic growth is crucial to the development of a nation, I personally think that an excellent education system and the responsible government are much more important in reducing the poverty and hunger.

Hi Linh, I think that you can easily score a 6 with this essay. I base that score upon the method by which you presented the paraphrased opening statement and the overall discussion presentation. You were able to develop acceptable discussions that, although sometimes flawed, produced some cohesive and coherent paragraphs in support of your statement. There are some notable mistakes in your evidence presentation though. One instance of faulty evidence is your use of the term "moral lesson". A moral lesson is not something that is taught in school. That lesson is learned through life experience. So a school education is not really something that should be related to such a reference. This is a minimal mistake that is made by those who are native English speakers. However, the sense of what you are trying to imply can be clearly seen so the reader was not stressed out in trying to understand what you are trying to say. Your conclusion should have been presented in individual sentence forms instead of the continuous sentence presentation seen here. Remember, you need at least 3 sentences to qualify what you have written as a complete paragraph. Minimal mark downs will be made in the scoring for these types of simple mistakes. The discussion overall is strong with some minimal faults in sentence development, evidence presentation, and grammar inaccuracies. At the same time, you have also shown marked development in your essay writing skills. So I am very proud of your accomplishments in that field. I hope to continuously monitor and see your writing improvements over the coming days. You are slowly becoming better prepared to take the test.

## social relationships issue The advent of communication tools has turned our world into a global village, where citizens from all parts of the globe can make contacts with one another in less than no time. While the positive effects of such technological advances cannot be overlooked, they are not without their share of problems, especially in terms of social relationships. In this essay, I would like to examine the downsides of these life-changing technologies in more detail. To commence with, the most alarming issue posed by overdependence on communication gadgets is social isolation. The emergence of computers and smartphones in the modern age has enabled people to make phone calls or text messages within the matter of a second, eliminating the need to travel a long distance in order to visit friends or relatives. Convenient as this may seem, communication by such a way often loosens the strong bond between family members. Moreover, many people become so absorbed in the visual world with its many attractive features that they neglect the importance of socialising with other individuals, imprisoning themselves in the world of their own. A youngster, for example, may not be able to hang out with his peers or share the school day experience with his parents due to the enormous amount of time that he allocated to the Internet. Secondly, technological advances can wreck the nature of friendship. Since communication tools offer unlimited access to the outer world, people can easily make online friends by means of social networks such as facebook or twitter. The need to find friends in the real world which often requires time, efforts and patience will, therefore, be reduced. However, unlike friends that we make from regular contacts, visual friends are highly unreliable and thus unlikely to offer us help and comforts in times of difficulty. We cannot confide in them our secrets and expect them to share ups and downs with us. Life would become rather dull and unmotivating without someone we can count on. To sum up, although the technology proves to be advantageous in some ways, they are far from being flawless as long as social relationships are concerned. In the end, it all boils down to people's awareness to make proper use of communicative devices.

Nguyen, the ability that you showed in writing this essay will no doubt garner you the highest possible score of 7. That is because you showed a clear understanding of the prompt, provided ample examples based upon personal experience and knowledge, and limited the mistakes in your grammar structure to the most minimal of errors. There was no stress at all for the me, as the reader, as I perused your work. Your paragraphs are understandable and your effort to use complex sentences int he proper manner is evident. Good work with this essay. If you keep this kind of work consistent in all your practice tests, I do not doubt that you will pass the actual test. A word of advice though, try to make your conclusion stronger by simply wrapping up the previous details in the presentation. There is no need to hurriedly discuss other explanations or opinions that you have in the conclusion. That part is meant only to deliver a summarized discussion of your previous and important discussion points. Basically, you paraphrased the prompt at the start and then you paraphrase yourself at the end. That is how these types of essays are best written.

**Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.** My response: ## funds for arts This topic raises the controversial issue of whether the arts have to be governmental funded for flourishing or not to be threaten by those funds. Indisputably, arts may be oriented in some ways by governments. Nevertheless, without governmental funds to arts may disappear in many fields. Thus, I generally disagree with the opinion that governmental funding of the arts threatens the integrity of arts and would argue that they are very important to ensure the arts can flourish. First of all, arts have to be supported not only by money but also by good programs to continue and to be available for all people. I would like to point out that this is a big responsibility of the government to supervise these programs. To illustrate let us look at the example of old traditions arts of specific country. Usually like these arts is mark land for some countries. In this circumstance, obviously, It may be disappeared if there is no governmental funding source. So, governmental funding of this arts warrantee the integrity of old and new arts. Consequently, it is pretty obvious that the arts governmental funding is helping to flourish arts. Furthermore, many arts can be ignored without governmental funding. Specially, when there is no interest from a wide range of people. Some arts may flourish by other source of funding but may be oriented and available for specific people depending on the type of that funding. Personal experience has told me the funded arts are not provided to all people. Hence, all the above evidence demonstrates that governmental funding for arts will not threatens arts. Admittedly, some specific arts are funded from other sources. This is true when it comes to specific profitable arts. However, the above argument doesn't constitute a sufficient support to claim that governmental funding threatens arts. In conclusion, although governmental funding may not be enough in some arts but it will not threaten the integrity of arts. It helps the arts to flourish and be available for all people.

Elsayed, you can only get a 3 in terms of the final score for your GRE essay because of a number of reasons. For starters, your discussion development needs to be improved. There are a number of instances when your presentation is not clear and does not solidly connect with the discussion prompt. This is the result of a lack of grammar control on your part. Due to the problematic sentence developments, your essay presentation is flawed and does not accurately represent an understandable line of reasoning in your presentation. This creates vague references in the essay which makes it difficult for the reader to analyze your paragraphs. While your essay has a strong voice of conviction, you need to take your time when writing your essay so you can be sure that you do not deliver improper thoughts or under developed thoughts. You also need to make sure that each paragraph you present has a minimum of 3 sentences per paragraph in order to assure yourself that you have done your best when it comes to delivering a coherent and cohesive paragraph presentation. You have plenty of room for improvement in your essay. I am sure that these problems will be slowly addressed with your upcoming practice tests. I look forward to seeing your progress over the coming days.

*Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measure that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.* Please give me some comments on my work and the band score I may achieve. Thanks a lot. ## review and solution to the traffic problem Nowadays, it is obvious that traffic jam is a regular occurrence as cities are becoming busier. In my opinion, this global issue can be tackled by improving public transport system and imposing higher tax on cars' price. Firstly, current public transportation has been failed to address the demands of cities' dwellers. When the city infrastructure was not designed to handle such excessive traffic, a better transport system would discourage people from riding their own vehicles. A complete reform in bus system, like introducing new buses with better services, comfortable seats, punctuality, bus schedule applications and opening new routes that connect outlying areas with the city center, will be a turning point in people prejudices against buses in general and therefore, attract more commuters to use public transportation. In addition, building metro system, that is capable of carrying greater number of passengers, will definitely reduce traffic burden on the roads. For example, the majority of Singaporeans are taking bus and MRT to work instead of driving cars. Another solution to the traffic problem is to increase car cost. Higher tax on car increases car price makes cars so expensive to acquire that people abandon them for other means of transport. For example, special consumption tax to go into effect in Vietnam has doubled or tripled cars' original value, making Vietnam among the highest prices for automobile globally. As a result, people are more likely to use taxi or Grab car for business or short-distance travel. In other words, cars will decline greatly in number, which allow traffic to move more easily, thus reduce pressure on traffic on narrow streets as well as in the inner city. To conclude, the measures mentioned above will play key role in alleviating traffic congestion and its aggravating effects on the cities' residents.

Hailung, your essay does its best to represent two possible and doable solutions in terms of resolving the traffic congestion in major cities. That is good because the effect of the 2 lines of reasoning pushes your lexical resource and grammar accuracy score up. However, the limited paraphrasing of the given prompt reduces your task accuracy ability. A lengthened opening presentation that accurately represented the outline of your discussion would have helped to increase your TA and GRA scores. While the English grammar used is not smooth or fluent, the English terms that you used showed that you tried to increase your lexical resource with the use of complex words. However, run on sentences still exist in the essay and prevent you from creating a proper and fluid discussion paragraph. You have to learn how to divide your sentences into two during instances when you wish to discuss two connected thoughts in the same sentence. Your concluding paragraph is very ineffective in the sense that it does not properly wrap up the essay discussion through a restated prompt, summary of your offered solutions, and closing sentence. The closing sentence must not provide any new ideas in relation to the original prompt requirement. Your conclusion presented was a shortcut of the expected prompt concluding statement. Being only one sentence long, it doesn't really help to increase your score in any aspect of the 4 scoring criteria. All things considered though, you developed a pretty good discussion of the prompt requirement and could very well score at least a 6 with this practice test.

**The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.** ## Australian Home and Energy Usage The two pie charts present the proportion of energy use in an average Australian household and the greenhouse gas emissions from each activities. The total amount of energy use are divided into six categories as follows: water heating, refrigeration, lighting, cooling, heating and other appliances. According to the first chart, heating and water heating are the major energy use among all activities, which contribute 42% and 30% respectively; while refrigeration, lighting and cooling have smaller percentage, at 7%, 4%, 2% respectively. When it comes to greenhouse gas emissions. water heating and other appliances are the top two activities, which account for 32% and 28%; while lighting and cooling are the two that generate less greenhouse gas emissions, at 8% and 3%. It is worth noting that the energy use of heating is around 40% but its greenhouse gas emissions is less than 20%. It can be concluded from the two chart that heating and water heating are the two large sources of consuming energy; while water heating and other appliances generates more greenhouse gas emissions than other activities do. *

Po, I do not think you can get more than a 4 with this type of essay writing. While you started off strong with your highly informative and engaging summary opening, your writing quality and information dissemination fell in standard in the succeeding parts. This is because you decided to not really do the comparisons of similar points in the essay. You merely stated the facts. If you read the prompt again, you will see that the instructions you were given to accomplish in the task were two-fold. That of reporting the main data and then, comparing the information. This was not accomplished properly in the essay. Your paragraph development is also inconsistent because you opted to separate the thoughts using semicolons, which do not help you to meet the minimum 3 sentence requirement of the essay. While the semicolon does help you to present related information to a certain extent, it does not properly separate the presentations so that the essay becomes factual in presentation and allows the reader the space he needs while reading for the analysis of the information being presented.

*Most people say that life without smartphones today would be impossible. However, a minority argue that the word would be better if it were smartphone - free. What is your opinion?* ## better world without smartphones? The twenty first century is known as the technological era, humankind is dominated by high technology. That said, anywhere at any time of the day, you can see the state - of - the - art devices, particularly smartphones. A great number of people argue that without smartphones, it is difficult to people to survive. However, many argue that our life will be no longer hustle and bustle anymore if we do not use smartphones. One the one hand, smartphone has numerous benefits. Compare to the first generation of telephones which are bulky and have little function, mobile phones now are more tricky and compact, so you can bring them anywhere you like. Not only do they use to text messages or make phone calls, but they also alike laptops that can access the network, download information. What is more, thanks to would - be phones, people acquire new skills or update latest news. Taking picture is no longer need a camera because today you have smartphone having a function to do that. The quality of pictures is in no way interior to one's camera. On the other hand, some who continue to suggest otherwise, arguing the world would be better if it were smartphone - free. Living without the, we are become cooler person, when we hang out with friends, for example, we interact more and do not focus on phones which give rise to a stable friendship. Being phone - free, more time do you relax, much stress will you decrease. No e - mails, no phone calls, no messages, that means there will no pressure. In conclusion, like everything else, Smartphones also have merits and demerits. But I'm in favor of using smartphones to make our life better and more modern. And of course, you must using it effectively to make positive use of such advanced technology.

Nguyen, you missed out on representing the most important aspect of the prompt. That is, the part of the prompt that asks for your opinion on the topic. Your personal opinion is (required) to be presented as part of the opening statement, along with the paraphrased prompt. Without a significant ownership of the opinion to be presented in the essay, the reader, will not be aware of the type of essay that you have written for his review. The concluding paragraph is flawed because you started a sentence with the word "And" which is actually a connecting word. So without a prior thought to connect to the sentence, you have a grammatically inaccurate sentence in that paragraph. Though your line of reasoning is good and is representative of the prompt requirements, the fact that you made some serious errors at the start and end of the essay has left me with the opinion that your score in this case will fall somewhere between a 4 or 5, based upon the more detailed requirements of the examiner.

**Some people argue that it is important to have an enjoyable life than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to be better life. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.** ## good life vs great money It is undeniable that life is once and we have to enjoy our life without spending our time in get huge incoming. Others, however, believe that we can get everything if we have so enormous money that most people think that getting much money is important. This essay will try to elaborate both of views with some consideration. Most people have a belief that by having much money, they can buy whatever they want such as luxury house, expensive car and etc. Furthermore wealthy people can buy whatever to eat, control their health regularly and also visiting wherever they want to visit. However, they have to concentrate on getting a big income, consequently they may work hard and spend much time on it. Otherwise some wealthy people not enjoy both of their life and their jobs. It is clear to sum up that rich people get stress more easily. On the other hand, happiness cannot be bought by money. Happiness comes depending on the way people think. Although someone has little money, they are happy about it. Taking teachers an example who have small income, they spend more their time in enjoying work rather than do other hedonistic activities. They enjoy their work owing to the fact that they love to do so. it indicates that happiness can be get by enjoy the job even lack of money. To sum up, money is not guarantee people to get happiness. Although rich people can do more by their money, they cannot totally enjoy their life. Instead, they have to think that what they have is always enough.

Agus, the essay cannot receive a score higher than a 4 due to the missing elements of the prompt requirement in your response essay. The prompt requirement is clear, you are supposed to accurately discuss both sides, as provided in the topic statement, and then, present your personal opinion regarding the subject being discussed. Your essay did not follow this format. What I saw in your essay was that you failed to signify that you would be discussing your personal point of view by implying what your point of view is in the opening statement. Don't forget that the opening statement needs to have the following elements: 1. The paraphrased topic for discussion; 2. The two sides of the discussion, also paraphrased; 3. Your personal opinion for discussion. Given the fact that you are expected to present a 5 paragraph essay, covering the paraphrasing, individual discussion of each side (one paragraph each), and your personal opinion, prior to the presentation of the conclusion, it will appear that your essay fell short of the expected discussion. Therefore, your task accuracy score was severely pulled down. There are also the grammar problems in the your essay such as the incoherent first sentence. Instead of saying "incoming", the proper term would have been "income". Income means money received while incoming means something that is arriving or coming in. Such a lexical resource mistake also resulted in more points deducted from your overall score. So, aside from the mistaken discussion presentation, the use of "and" along with "etc." in a single sentence also created a lower grammar accuracy score for you. This is an academic essay so you should never use the word "and" along with "etc." in a single sentence. That is academically improper. Always write complete thoughts in order to keep the reader properly informed. Etc. means "and so on and so forth", which is an academically acceptable term. That is more suited towards casual writing. I hope that you can avoid this mistakes in your next essays. Be aware of the mistakes that you made in this essay and make sure that you do not repeat the mistakes in your next practice test.

The graph illustrates how many parcels were delivered by two competitive mail companies between 1920 and 2000. ## TNT vs Fedex - Comparison In general, it can be seen that TNT Company experienced a consistent upward trend, while FedEx figures showed wild fluctuations in the given period. Another interesting thing is that in 1920 the number of parcels delivered by Fedex were considerably higher than in TNT, however the situation changed in the last given decade. In 1920, TNT parcels stood at just 5000, then this number doubled more than twice in the following 40 years and reached about 12000 parcels. It was followed by slight decrease in next 10 years, after which the figure showed steady rise to just over 11000. Afterwards, the figures experienced a dramatic soar to just under 25000 parcels. In the beginning of the FedEx path, the number stood at 15000. After there was a considerable rise during next 20 years, followed my dramatic plummet to around 12000 parcels in 1960. After that, the figure experienced a significant increase till 1980, followed by level off at around 17500 parcels. Thanks in advance! *

Maiirkhan, your opening statement does not follow the required information for a task 1 essay. The information in that paragraph should present an overview of the discussion, as per the prompt instructions. It should have detailed the forthcoming discussion in order to create the image of coherence and cohesiveness in the essay since you are scored on how you logically and chronologically present your discussion. Failing to do that, as in this case, will force a lower task accuracy score. While the presentation of the information is acceptable, I cannot help but feel that you could have done a better job at informing the reader. Since you have paragraphs that are only 2 sentences long, you accidentally ended up creating more run on sentences than you expected. You can avoid that by using a period to separate information instead of a comma. Aim to present 3-5 complete sentences in the paragraph in order to increase the chances of a higher GRA score on your end. This essay though, should be able to score around a 4 based upon all the information I presented above.

## how a tea is made? The diagram illustrates about process of producing tealeaves into some types of tea. Overall, the end of the process will produce five tea types. It consists of several steps. Furthermore, it starts from growing leaf and culminating in tea production. In the beginning, tealeaves are grown to get main ingredient of tea. After the tealeaves are ready to be plucked, it is wilted to reduce its water level containing inside the leaf. In the subsequent stage, the tealeaves will pass through certain stages to produce different types of tea. For making green tea, the tealeaves will be steamed at first, and it will be rolled. But, for making oolong tea, it will be rolled and it will be fermented slightly. On the other hand, in order to make large and small leaf black tea, the tealeaves have to be processed in defferent ways although they are fully fermented. The difference takes place in the fourth stage, while the former tea is produced through tealeaves rolling, the latter should be made from tealeves crushing. However, the end the process , oven drying process should be done before the final product is ready to consume. *

Andi, when you write the overview in relation to a list of types, such as in the case of the tea, you should inform the reader, as part of the overview, regarding the types of tea produced. That will be part of the overview information outline that will form part of the outline discussion for the body of the essay. Since there are other steps involved in the creation of the teas, it is important to enumerate the tea types at first in order to better hold on to the attention of the reader who may not be very interested in what you have to write about but will then be interested if there is a tea type that he wants to learn more about through your summary essay. As you can probably tell from simply glancing at the essay, your second paragraph is lacking in terms of sentence requirements. That is because you did not divide the essay discussion properly. A portion of the third paragraph, which now turns out to be too long, should have been a part of the second paragraph instead. The division of the topic discussion should have come at the point that starts with "On the other hand" since that phrase indicates a transition to a different topic, hence a new paragraph. Remember, the rule is one topic per paragraph. Based upon these reasons, your 193 word count, which is more than the minimum of 150, had to be scored down to a 5 at the most. I hope that you can show improvement with your next practice essay using the above recommendations. I look forward to reading your improved work in the future.

Hello! Soon I will be taking an IELTS, so could you help me with my essay evaluating? I have to get at least 6.5 band score. Please, make some corrections if possible :) ## maps of an island comparison The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. The maps represent an island before and after establishing some tourist attractions and different facilities. Overall, the island changed a lot after constructing some facilities on the western and middle parts of total area. It can be seen that eastern part of territory stayes untouched. First of all I will focus on the western coast of the island. A beach is located for swimming there. Moving on, there is a footpath from the beach which leads to accomodation buildings. After them the reception facility is established at the very middle of the island. Moreover, it is surronded by vehicle tracks. One of them lays towards the restaurant on the north. Another goes down to the pier on the southside. The pier was built rather long and it has a T form. The last thing that may be noticed is a group of accomodation facilities located a bit further to the east than reception. Each building is connected with a footpath, but there is no connection between the group of buildings and the reception. Considering untouched eastern part of island's area, there are some palm trees as well. *

Nataliia, the summary overview of your essay needs to be at least 3 sentences long. So instead of the single sentence that you have at the very beginning, you should have combined it with the next paragraph in order to create a proper overview of the information you were provided. The overview that you could have created would have been a perfect explanation of the illustration you were provided with. When writing this kind of summary, there is no need for you to present it in the first person as there is no required discussion coming from your end. No person references are necessary in this instance, only a reference to the illustrations. That said, the best reference for the discussion in the essay would have been, per paragraph "In the first map..." Rather than saying "I will focus..." Do not use the reference "them" in this essay because that refers to a direct or indirect object, usually referring to a group of people. In this case, you are using the term to refer to inanimate objects such as buildings, trees, and the like. These do not have genders and are not considered people, so the correct reference would have been to use the descriptive term directly. An example of this would be" ... After the footpath, the reception..." or "... One of these..." While you did write 180 plus words, the improper grammar development takes away from the interesting presentation that you have for the essay. I advise you to work on your connecting words and pronoun usage knowledge. Learn how to properly refer to inanimate objects in an essay. Overall though, you did a good job of describing the map illustrations. However, due to the existing problems of the essay, I think you can only score as high as a 6.

Hello guys , i wrote this task and dont know what band i can get ? please check it for me . many thanks <3 ## Margarine, Low fat & reduced spreads and Butter consumption The graph below show the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007 The line graph illustrates Margarine , Low fat & reduced spreads and Butter 's consumptions over 16 years from 1981 to 2007 . As it shown in the graph , Margarine was highest around 160 grams at 1991 and 1996 , while Low fat & reduced spreads and Butter were most popular around 100 grams and 85 at 1986 and 2001 . Between 1991 and 1996 , Butter had went down on while Margarine still had a leveling out . By 1999 to the next few years , Low fat & reduced spreads had dramatically increased to peak but Margarine and Butter were falling down . In the last few years on the graph showed that the consumptions of three spreads had all fallen down , specifically Margarine , Low fat & reduced spreads and Butter respectively were around 40 , 70 and 50 at 2007 . * *image*

Ky, I am not going to score your essay at this point because it will not get a passing grade. I would like you to improve upon the problem parts of your essay first because it is obvious that, as your first post, you did not follow the suggested writing format for this task 1 essay. It would be unfair of me to fail you in this essay since you obviously lacked guidance in writing it. For starters, a Task 1 IELTS essay is supposed to have a minimum of 150 words, spread between 3-5 paragraphs. That means, each paragraph should contain anywhere from 3-5 sentences each. Your essay falls short of this mandatory format. Work on developing the required format in order to gain a chance at a higher task accuracy score. Now, since the essay needs to have at least 3 paragraphs in order to be considered a full essay, you will need to know how to develop each of the paragraphs in order to meet the required informative summary presentation. This is simple enough to do, provided you understand the graph that you were provided with. First up, in the opening statement, summarize the instructions that you were provided in the graph and offer a discussion outline. In this case, you could have said: *The line graph provided compares the number of grams that people consume per type of sandwich spread. The three types of spreads to be compared are Margarine, Low fat & reduced spreads, and butter. The comparisons are done using a 6 year gap per year starting in 1991 and ending in 2007.* At that point, you may compare the graph lines as you deem fit. Whatever style you use to discuss the second paragraph, just make sure that you complete your presentation in 5 sentences because that is the maximum sentence requirement. When you conclude the essay, you can just summarize the information you were provided by repeating what you feel is the most important information in the graph. Or, you can do comparisons of the points where information overlaps for some of the years and spread types. This is the pretty much standard format that you should always write your Task 1 essays in. Practice using this format in your upcoming practice tests and you should receive some pretty good scores. So the standards for you to remember are: 1. Write at least 150 words in the completed essay. 2. Write at least 3 sentences, maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph. 3. Write at least 3 paragraphs for your presentation. The work that you did in this essay is good but does not follow the required format. That will result in severely lowered scores. I do not think that this essay will get a passing score so I will not score this one. I'll give you a pass since this is your first ever attempt at writing this sort of essay.

## Only smart drivers required MY ESSAY: In modern days, whether teenagers possessing a "C" grade average school's diploma to become a drivers is becoming a thorny issue. Some think that this authenticate their potential and engagement, others express that it's such a redundancy because they find no interrelation between grade and license. In reality, we must acknowledge that a "C" grade proves teenagers' qualifications while we also realize that their presence do not help much with receiving a driver's license. From an academic perspective, grade "C" indicates that teeanagers were at least sufficiently educated and thus having the ability to take responsibility for their stuffs. At school, juveniles are taught how to comply with the duties. Driving can also be considered as one of those assignments and causing trouble when driving can be granted as mistake. A responsible driver must be high-principled and always willing to take in anyone's criticism in order to reform him or herself explicitly. It's no doubt these morale can only be gained from a skill-cultivating process in educated environment. Personally, another reason why a "C" grade average should be required so as to possess a driver's license is because it will guarantee traffic participants' life. Every years thousands of teenagers peril by virtue of road accidents. It can be largely put down to their overventuresome driving. Undoubtedly, the casualities could remarkably increase unless a "C" grade was required. Students who aren't concerned with getting good grades may be indifferent to learning traffic rules and signs, thus tend to cause troublesome road accidents. But if teenagers' ability to maintain a driver's license crave for a "C" grade average, will human's traveling demand be actually satisfied? Although grades may reflect teenagers' educated qualifications and responsibility, it clearly cannot judge their agility, vision and all traits associated with driving. In other words, grades have no correlation with driving skills. From a practical perspective, driving nowadays is necessary for many students to get to and from school and work. Calling upon driver's license would unfairly discriminate among poor students because academic and driving knowledge bear no resemblance to each other. In school, students were taught to grasp and analysis equations in Algebra, natural reactions in Chemistry, geographic locations of every religions in Geography while in driving, students were instructed to deal with steering wheel, gear shift, brakes... Apparently, student who is not excel at grades can absolutely become good driver if he or she takes enough notice of what teachers present at their driving class. Beside, school and work can be viewed as embedding experience in students' life. It makes students themselves more complete, mature and potential. Thus denying students' good driving skills when they have a "C" grade average is indisputably an indirect way to split up students' chance of discovering themselves. Yet it is abstruse that government try to invest time, money, effort and habour to educate students with the purpose of making them good enough to maintain a "C" grade average while their goal is just to become proficient in driving. Schools' goal of educating is to make sure students have steady jobs then thrive in the long run. To my way of thinking, I firmly believe that grade is absolutely not the only way leading to success and also, we should not judge students' talent through their grades. I have witnessed this in my own life through seeing some success stories such as Bill Gates, Mark Zukerberg, Thomas Edison..., even some prosperous businessmen raising their career from taxi drivers. Students may do exactly the same if they are courageous, ambitious and tenacious enough. So perhaps the answer to the driver's license offering lies in between: it is time for government to weigh out pros and cons of taking a "C" grade average into account as one of the vital criterias. It is true that grades tell a lot about one's proficiency, and skipping it to grant students chance of uncovering themselves is not a bad thing. However, we should not take the school's grade average for granted. School's diploma may not repercuss our driving handiness, but it should not be eliminated after all. Drivers should have the faintest idea about academic stuffs such as road rules and basic theories on driving. It's imperative that we hold on to the most subtle and flexible solutions to keep everything in balance because relativity is one of the most awe-inspiring figure human is acquainted with.

Tran, I think it will be best if I show you the scores you might get, per individual consideration for your writing so that you can effectively develop the problem points in order to ensure a higher score in the actual test. By giving you individual scores, you will be able to focus on developing your weak points in the upcoming practice tests. Let's start with your mastery level. Your mastery level should be around a 4. This score is based upon the way that you were able to present an argumentative essay using proper points, discussion considerations, and examples. For the ideas and analysis portion, you could score anywhere between a 4 and 5. The possible score is based upon paragraph 3 of your essay which truly discusses the reasons and considerations given for the C grade before being given a driver's license. I would like to advise you to divide paragraphs such as that into 2 though. The length of the paragraph showed that you discussed 2 points of view already. It is always best to separate the thought discussions so that the reader will be able to properly analyze the content you have written. Development and Support would be a 4. Your score in this section was the result of your clear explanation and use of examples in your essay to support your argument. Due to the number of reasons and supporting facts though, the essay tends to run too long and become too complicated. Try to keep the essay simple by providing only one strong argument in support of your reason. Multiple reasons tend to blur the discussion process. Your organization skills can garner you a score of 5 because you were able to create a chronological discussion for your essay. You had a focused discussion throughout your essay. However, your transitioning from one paragraph or discussion to another needs more work. Finally, for language use, you get a 4. Try to improve on your sentence structure and grammar use. Be more precise with the complex words that you opt to use. There are some words such as "overturesome" that do not make sense because you made up the word. Make sure you only use words that exist in the dictionary and are also easily understandable by the reader. Do not use profession specific words or words that only you know the meaning to because you made it up on the fly. While you are not scored for mistakes, you are scored on the accuracy of word usage.

## study reasons in various age The bar charts exhibit information about what the main reason people study and how many supporting they receive by employeer based their age. Overall, both youngest people and oldest people have inversely proportion of reason for studying, and the more people get older the less support they obtain for studying. The first chart shows that there is a contradictory trend between the youngest people and the oldest people. Career is the key factor why youngest people are studying. It could be seen that the youngest people has 80% of reason for career, and it is decreasing as they get older. Meanwhile, the oldest people is more likely to choose interest as their reason for studying. It is seen that the oldest people have 70% of reason for interest. Interestingly, both the youngest and the oldest group have an equal percentage of 40% when they occupy 40-49 age. The second chart illustrtates that the youngest people receive more support by employer than the oldest people for studying. The youngest people get more than 60% of time off and fess for studying but it will be declining until they enter 30-39 age. In this period, they hit a low at under 40% but they will be raising again in the next age. Overall, a gap between the youngest age and the oldest age is by 20% of support. * *

Andi, how many times have I told you that one of the most important considerations in this summary essay writing is the data itself that is presented in the original charts? Every age group, every percentage point, every piece of information given in the chart must be reflected in words, not assumptions as you are so prone to do. If the figures show actual ages, then say the actual age group, do not say "as they progress in age" because that is not what is in the chart. This leads to an uninformed essay being written because you always choose to not use the actual figures and information in your essay. The reader will not come away are duly informed after reading your paper because you fill their head with figures and assumptions instead of facts and figures. The latter being the expected information in a summary essay. Due to the problems that were created by the lack of accurate use of information from the charts, your essay needs to be scored down. That is, even though you wrote a pretty good essay in terms of grammar. So the final score for this essay, in my opinion, cannot be any higher than a 4.

## channel one news popularity The line chart illustrates the number of viewers for channel one news during 12 months. Overall, the most noticeable changes is seen in the average of viewer in August. Moreover, during one year all of features have different experiences. There are 3 programs at the beginning of the 12-month period, 6 pm news stand at around 5 million and it becomes the highest number of viewers. Moreover, it decreases slightly in the end of period. Likewise, 9.30 pm news programs also go down in the last period. Meanwhile, the 1 pm news programs maintained stable over the period, it accounted for around 1.5 million. A more detailed look at the chart reveals that the features experienced the additional news program. In May, The 11 pm news was introduced. In August, it reached a peak at 4 million viewers even though the other program like 9.30 pm news hit a low of 1 million viewers in the same month. *

Syiamsiah, the best way to have analyzed this line graph would have been on a quarterly treating basis. By grouping the time slots with similar audience viewership numbers, a more accurate comparison would have been reached. Note that the ratings information was provided on a monthly basis so the similarities and over lapping viewer information for various slots could have been better represented as well. As such, you would've offered the reader a better assessment of the time to watch the news. You should've also led into the second paragraph with information regarding the launch of the 11 p.m. news broadcast in order to create a more chronological representation of the time slots. Given the time frame with which you have to analyze the graph, draft the essay and proof read your work, at least 10 minutes should be allotted for the first half of the task. The finalization should come only after you are sure that you have completely represented all of the possibly required information in the essay. Be proud in the knowledge that even though the essay has room for improvement, your work can score around a 5 at the most.

**'Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity'. How far do you share this viewpoint?** ## charity donation Answer: The issue of donation continues to be widely debated, and giving fixed amount of income is accepted as dominated international thinking. While it is considered by some that charity supporting could be from other sectors, I personally agree with the idea that workers should afford some money for charity. Firstly, it seems advisable that charity prompts a chance for people as doing good deeds. As we can see, this supports the others by providing aids such as meal distribution, school uniform allocation, or running fine-tuned social programme. In Indonesia, for instance, people tend to do public dues with fixed amount of money for every month owing to a social movement called Indonesia Mengajar -- a charity providing teachers for rural village schools in many regions of Indonesia. In addition, it might be seen that one major benefit of continuing supporting charity is occuring more stable financial condition for charity. In spite of merely small amount of money, workers invoke larger financial support thanks to doing it together for considerably significant impact. Lastly, it is logical to said that through donating their income, people more attach with others helped by them for more empathize. I do appreciate that some people think differently, saying that financial income for charity can be afforded by sponsorship from companies, and donation is not workers' duty. However, I believe that this proportion could be unwise, considering the variety of advantages that donating fixed amount of income might create. To conclude, it seems for me that giving our income as donation is the wiser option, not solely for chance of doing positive things, but also for charities' stable financial income and encouraging positive attachment.

Lizara, when you are asked to discuss how far you share a point of view, your opening statement should indicate that prompt requirement by saying exactly that. By indicating that "I share this point of view to a certain extent", you allow yourself the freedom to discuss the pro and con side of the provided discussion. Within the essay that you wrote, I sensed the degree of your agreement with the statement. However, the essay does not ask you to totally agree with the given discussion. You should have also discussed why you don't agree with the statement, to a certain level, as well. That way, you deliver a balanced and informative discussion to the reader while allowing the reader to develop his own opinion without too much influence from your personal point of view. Offering a personal opinion rather than the explanation of the public opinion in paragraph 3 would have been best in representing the disagreement that you have with the statement. After all, the essay is not asking you to discuss the public opinions and then your personal opinion. You were being requested to present your personal outlook alone as the agreeing and disagreeing factors in the essay. Further development of the personal opinion that you presented in that part of the essay was necessary. Another problem with the essay is the way that you do not take ownership of the statements provided. The first person pronoun was badly needed in the essay. Rather than saying "we", it should have been "I" because the essay requires your personal point of view throughout the essay. Make sure to use the correct pronoun in the essay because that will not only show English comprehension skills, but also add to the authoritative voice of the essay as you wrote it. The prompt is asking you to represent yourself in written form based upon the instructions so your active voice must be used whenever possible in the development of the essay arguments. With regards to your formatting, please remember that there is a 3 sentence minimum requirement for your paragraphs. Of the 4 paragraphs you wrote, only one paragraph, the second one, adheres to this prompt requirement. By limiting the sentences that you presented in the other paragraphs, you also limited the possibility that you might get a higher final score based upon your lexical resource and grammar accuracy considerations. Having said that, I believe that the most accurate score for this type of essay from you would be a 4. It would have gone up to a 5 if you had properly discussed the length of your agreement and opposition to the point of view as well.

## statistics of unemployed women in England The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The bar chart illustrates the percentage of women unemplyed in the UK between 2013 and 2014. From an overall perspective, women out of job in both countries Wales and the Northern Ireland had smaller figure while in England and Scotland women without jobs increased respectively from 2013 to 2014. According to the bar charts, in 2013, women out of job makes up 5.4% in Wales while the figure for women unemloyed in the Northern Ireland, with 5.6% respectively. Howerver, in the Northern Ireland women unemployed fell 1% and in Wales fell to 0.4% in 2014. Looking more details, the percentage of unemployed women in England hold the greatest bad indiviual position, with 6.8% in 2013, but in 2014 the female without jobs descreased to 0.3%. Furthermore, in terms of women out of jobs in Scotland reflected against comparison rates for which form of bad conditions lives pushed more unemployed women rates in two years and increased from 6.1% to 6.7% respectively. Plz help me some advise about this task. *

Emma, I would have approached the comparison presentation of the bar chart in a different manner. I would have done it either in a progressive (lowest to highest) or regressive (highest to lowest) percentage presentation based upon the year of the information. The country in the UK would properly represented anyway as I presented the bar information. By doing it that way, the mechanical nature of the presentation, caused by the obvious choice of just comparing the digits as it was presented, would have been avoided. It would have also allowed for a better analysis on my part, as the writer, of the information provided so I would have been able to present some additional information that might have been overlooked using your current presentation. By presenting the information per paragraph using the yearly basis, the essay would have also been easier to follow as it does not confuse the reader by combining the year comparison in the same area. Dividing the yearly presentation would have made it easier for the reader to recall the information as well. The major problem of your essay is that you did not write enough sentences to qualify your statements as paragraphs. All of the presentations have only 2 sentences rather than the required 3 sentence (minimum) presentation. This mistake will definitely drag down your overall score, regardless of the strength of your discussion. You were also a bit careless and sloppy in your presentation because you did not use periods to create logical schools of thought within your paragraphs. Instead, you just created long run on sentences through the constant use of commas. Learn to use the period. That is a writers best friend and will always help to increase your scores far better than these run on sentences can. Based on the aforementioned issues, I think your final score for this essay will be no more than a 4.

## Debate Essay - Is Cheer-leading a Sport? Some people say that cheerleading isn't a sport, some people say it is. When people think of cheerleading, the first thing that comes to mind is a sideline cheerleader, their main goal is to entertain a crowd and lead them with team cheers, which shouldn't be considered a sport. On the other hand, competitive cheerleading is a sport because it meets all three laws of defining something as a sport, it's a physical activity that involves propelling a mass through space or overcoming the resistance of a mass, you compete against another opponent, and it is governed by rules that define the time, space, purpose, and conditions under which a winner is declared. Cheerleading is a sport because it is a physical activity that involves propelling a mass through space. A huge part of cheerleading is stunting. A stunt is a moved performed by a group of people the group consists of a flyer, two bases, a back spot, and sometimes a front spot. A flyer is the person being put in the air, the bases are lifting her, the spots watch the flyer to make sure she doesn't fall and sometimes helps out with the stunt. The spot is rarely ever allowed to touch the flyer. During practice, the athletes are required to lift weights and bench-press. Weight lifting is required by the IASF (International All-Stars Federation). In cheerleading you also compete against other opponents. There are three different types of competitions. Small competitions, Large competitions, and Bid competitions. Small competitions are local competitions in which you compete against teams in your own province or state. Large competitions are competitions where you travel around your continent and compete against teams on your coast. Bid competitions are competitions you get invited to from large competitions. It is governed by rules that define the time, space, purpose and conditions under which a winner is declared. In cheerleading there is a time limit of 2:30 min. In that time you have to cover dance, jumps, tumbling, stunts, pyramids, and tosses. They have a regulation mat size of 42' by 54', with a two foot border. Each competition has a different scoresheet based on the six components of cheerleading. In conclusion, cheerleading is a sport because it meets all of the laws stating that is a sport. It is a physical activity that involves propelling a mss through the air, you compete against another opponent and it is governed by rules that define the time, space, purpose, and conditions under which a winner is declared.

Ayeshah, when you write a debate paper, you cannot just write the reasons that justify your claim. You must also present the opposing ideas and offer the reasons as to why their classrooms are wrong. Don't base the opposition on the obvious alone. Think of reasons that can be found to attack your reasoning. Expect the possible questions and immediately cut their possible opposition by informing the listeners about those possible questions through your expanded discussions. Have someone read what you have written and ask that person if he has any questions about cheerleading being a sport after reading your debate essay. Based upon the questions and reactions of that person, improve the content of your debate information. Bear in mind that a strong debate stance is one that doesn't allow the opposition a chance to proceed with their own debate because you preempted their discussion already. .

## for most of us it's crucial to finish an university Going to a university is an important stage in our life. Because it is a place where we can cultivate knowledge and prepare essential skills to join the workforce. Many people argue that you don't have to go to a college or a university to get a job. But I don't believe that. In my opinion, entering university is an excellent decision for two important reasons. The main reason is that you need to enrich your knowledge. Because in high school, you only learn fundamental knowledge. You don't have chance to study it in depth. At a university, they have facilities and many talented professors who will support you and help you discover various subjects. One of my best friends, Tuan, is an industrious student. He learns Math at University of Science. He told me that thanks to his professor he now know that mathematic has countless applications in the real world. He said he didn't get it at high school but he actually ascertain it at university. Knowledge is powerful. You can't crave knowledge without attending a university. There is another reason that deserve some words here. Studying at a university enable us to prepare some crucial skills which you need to cope with problem in your life. You will learn how to interact with other people who have different backgrounds. You can also learn how to manage your finance, how to become independence... Those skills are very important for you to be a successful person in the future. As you can see, you only acquire those skills at a university where it is taught. In sum, though some may advocate some individuals such as Bill Gate who droped out Harvard University. I strongly believe that most of us will can't obtain enough knowledge or prepared skills if we don't go to a university. If you want to pursuit of your dream, I think the best way is to go to university.

Dao, in proper written grammar, you cannot use the words "Because" and "But" to start a sentence because it is a word that is used to connect two separate ideas in one sentence. It is a connecting word and as such, should never be placed at the start of a sentence since there are no words or thoughts to connect to one another in that instance. You must also avoid using ellipses, the 3 successive periods, in an academic essay. The ellipses are best used in creative writing in order to signify connected thoughts in an imaginative manner. This is an academic essay. Therefore, the writing must always be straightforward and as informative as possible. Although there are some major grammatical problems in your essay, the fact remains that the reasoning you wrote, specially the one based upon your friend's experience, has helped the essay discussion become informative and authoritative. It showed that you have a thorough understanding of the English prompt and how it is to be discussed. So I can safely say that you did a good job in developing this essay, even though thee are some grammar problems located within the essay. It did not take the focus of the reader away from the prompt discussion, even as it sometimes caused stress for the reader.

**In order for the world to be a greener place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.** ## punishment and fines need to be more severe With the rapid growth of population, many problems such as water shortages, waste of energy pollution are beginning to surface. These issues have lead to increasingly problem of environment trends. As for as I concerned, governments should sense a responsibility and take many factors into consideration. To some extent, the increasingly fierce social competition that forced the rapid development in industries. For example, factories, chemicals processing are part of the majority that involved in pollution. These sectors are contributing and improving our economic growth but there are arguments in both sides. This lead to negative effects on water and air pollution that related to an serious part in our health. As the proverbs goes to " Every coins have its both sides, No garden without the weeds. Furthermore, it is undoubtedly that human being keep abreast with the development of social status, therefore neglected the priority of the environment issue. For example, the younger generation prefer to have personal automobile in sense of convenience and gratification. These behaviors have lead to serious air pollution and furthermore road congestion. But they didn't notice the interest in the long run which health is more important than everything. In order to improve the current air conditions that we are facing now, certain effective measure need to be carried out which attach great importance to greener environment. In conclusion, a better environment is indirectly related to our health. Personally, the advantages of punishments is far outweigh than the disadvantages. Every options has its pro and corns and we will need decide which benefit us in the long term priority to our well being, all else comes second. (275 words)

Tan, I don't know how to say this without hurting your feelings but, you have failed to properly discuss the prompt as per the topic given and the instructions provided. Therefore, there is no other score left for this essay except a 3. It seems you missed the keywords that indicated how the topic is to be addressed in the essay. The key terms were "Agree or Disagree" and "Give examples". The topic for the essay is *"punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe."* None of these terms or instructions were addressed in your prompt paraphrasing and your succeeding discussion did not even come close to presenting the prompt discussion instruction. What you did was discuss a prompt that you made up, based upon what you understood of the original instructions. Unfortunately, your English comprehension skills failed you this time as you did not really understand what the topic was all about. Which is why you ended up discussing something totally different in the essay that you wrote. Nowhere in the essay did you even touch on the topic of a fining system in order to help prevent environmentally unfriendly acts. Neither did you agree or disagree with the statement, as required, in the opening statement. Overall, the essay was bound to fail because of your lack of thorough understanding of the prompt instructions and topic for discussion.

**Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.** ## growing-up stages from different aspects Being a good member in society is an important lesson for children, and who should take such responsibility, whether parents or school, becoming a worth discussing issue. I think both sides play equally important roles and reasons are following. Firstly, imitation is children's nature, and the way they learn to treat the world. Furthermore, their first models are usually their parents, who spent most of time with during the childhood. Kids copy parents' behavior, regarding the words they use, the attitude they toward others and the value they have. There is a Chinese saying that goes, like father like son, which means what kind of parents will have the same type of children. Secondly, after entering schools, where not only provide the educational opportunities, but also a place children start to learn how to cope with others. This is their step to socialize. Apart from the peer, teachers are model to the kids as well, since they replace the roles as parents in school life, who lead children explore the world. You can image a school as a small society, where the child will face many frustrations and joy, learning how to be a mature adult. To conclude, although people hold different views toward who should teach children be a great participant of society, whether parents or school, I suppose each roles are significant since these people will affect the children in many aspects during their growing-up stages.

Arlen, since the prompt instructions indicate that you have to discuss both sides of the issue and then offer your opinion, using examples from your life or popular information, I can accurately say that your essay did not meet the specific prompt requirements. You have turned the essay into a personal opinion paper alone, showing a disregard or misunderstanding of the prompt requirements. I am not sure if you just forgot the discussion format or you really did not understand what was expected of your essay. Whatever the reason, the grade for this essay will be a 3. Once you fail in the task accuracy portion, specifically because you did not properly present your response in accordance with the requirements, there is no way that your essay, regardless of how well written it is, can pass the test. Miss out on one or two instructions and your essay becomes a totally different discussion from the original. So you cannot be given a passing score in that instance.

## Channel one news - comparing statistics about numbers of viewers The line chart exhibits information about the average of daily program Channel One News from January to December. The aired time could be divided in two groups as 1 pm and 6 pm figure, and 9:30 pm and 11 pm figure. Overall, all figures experience several changes, and the second group have the most contradictory changes. The first group has a slight changes on trend over a 12-month period. In the beginning of the year, 1 pm figure stood at above 1 million of viewers, and it stay constant until the end of period. Meanwhile, 6 pm figure has the biggest number of viewers, but it experiences downtrend during a year. However, the first group has significant difference in the first year and it is continuing until the end of period. The second group has a contradictory changes from May to December. Initially, 9:30 pm figure has about 3 million of viewers, and it peakes in May. Meanwhile, 11 pm figure was introduced in May, and it stood at under 1 million of viewers. Interestingly, 11 pm figure reach a peak at 4 million in August, whereas 9:30 pm figure hits a low of 1 million of viewers. *

Reza, the information that you provide in the summary is incomplete. The line graph information indicates the start of the 11 pm broadcast as being May 1 and yet you failed to mention such an important piece of information in the essay. There was also no need to group the viewing times into 2 because the essay called for each time slot to be discussed individually, as pairs, or as a group that had overlapping figures. The information that you provide in the essay is reliant only on the immediate facts presented. There is a lack of closer investigation and analysis regarding the viewership information per time slot. You cannot present selective figures in the essay when each time slot had clear viewership number presented per month. These mistakes have created an inaccurate information presentation in the essay. the reader cannot accurately assess the information you are providing due to the lacking information in your essay. It was necessary for you to always quote the month, time, and number of viewers for the news programs of the station. The information would have created an idea as to the effectiveness of the newscast and the interest of the viewers in the program. Due to the mechanical presentation of the obvious information and lack of analysis of the viewership numbers per month, the essay will possibly only score as high as a 5.

The prompt says:The graph shows the income of four cafes in Newyork over last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features. Make the comparisons where relevant ## Internet Expenses The line graph gives the breakdown of the profit in millions of dollar of the tea room, Wi-fi café, internet express and café cool in New York over the previous year. Overall, it is clear that while the profit of four café experienced some fluctuations, the general trend climbed, more than twice in a region of 250 million in January to 500 million in December. While the pay of Café cool, Internet Express and especially Wi-fi café jumped steadily, the tea room declined enormously. There was a dramatic rise in the income of Wi-fi café. Between January to December, there was more than fourfold, 50 million to 190 million, respectively, with peaking in September approximately 60 million of dollars. By contrast, the tendency of the tea room which was the only earnings was downwards, decreasing from160 million in January to nearly 50 million, a reduction of sixteen out of five. By comparison, the income of internet express experienced a smaller rise than Wifi café from January to December, an increase of seven out of six, 120million and 140 million, in turn. While the trend of four months between April and July was flat, approximately 80 million, the proportion in August started staging a recovery. Similarly, the tendency for café cool was moderately upwards, growing from 30 million of salary to 100 million, respectively, more than three in ten *

To, let me start by pointing out the problems with the essay. First of all, the indication of the figures is given in the chart is in the hundreds of dollars, as represented by the chart explanation of "000s Dollars". 3 figures is in the hundreds, 4 figures, in the thousands, 6 figures, in the millions. I really cannot find any indication that the income provided is in the millions of dollars. You once again failed to properly summarize the prompt requirement for presentation in the summary overview. You still have the same problems with regards to your run on sentences which prevent you from completing the minimum 3 paragraph requirement. You neglected to properly capitalize the names of the businesses, which are all proper nouns. You did not place a period at the end of the final sentence in the closing paragraph, thus leaving the sentence hanging. These problems will crate major score deductions in terms of the GRA considerations. You also forgot to discuss the overlapping income of Internet Express and Wi-Fi Cafe. These small problems always have big repercussions when it comes to scoring you so that it seems that you cannot get a score much higher than a 4 or 5. Depending upon what other considerations the examiner might have when scoring your essay.

*Some say living in the city is more comfortable. Other however claim that city life is complicated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.* ## where is the best place to live There is contentious issue among citizen whether city life is convenient or not. While there are some benefits gained when deciding to live in the city, there might be some disadvantages should not be overlooked. On the one hand, those supporting that people are easy to do their activities when living in the city often claim that many public infrastructur can support various kind of activities done by them. For example, if someone wants to take an IELTS test, it will be much cheaper and more efficient to take an IELTS test if they live in the city. Accesible information is also better in the city than in the village. People who are living far from city sometimes get lack of information, the one and only news they got is just from radio station. On the other hand, the opponents of city life argue that the stressful thing living in the city is mostly because of their traffic congestion. People sometimes take some breakfast and even working on the way they go to work in the early morning due to avoiding the traffic congestion. Living in the city also makes the community life is more individual. People close their door all the day, go to work in the morning and are back home in the evening. Moreover, people in the city mostly have a big fence of house so, it is impossible to talk with their neighbour. In conclusion, while living in the city is in favour with some advantages given, I also believe that there should be a measure taken to cope with problems which might appear when becoming a city-settler.

Rodiah, the essay clearly states that you are supposed to discuss both public views before your discuss your personal opinion in the essay. There is no indication in your essay of a discussion of both opinions prior to your point of view. That is because you did not properly restate the prompt topic and instructions in your opening statement. Considering that there are a few missing sentences in your opening statement, it is clear that you either forgot the instructions, so it did not reflect in the essay paraphrased statement or, you did not understand the instructions. Since the essay did not represent the prompt requirements in the discussion, as you only discussed one part of the essay requirements, the score for your essay will not be higher than a 4. If you wish to score higher than this in your next practice test, make sure that you properly assess the prompt requirements and then develop the discussion properly in your essay. Do not bother to rewrite this essay for this prompt. Once you have been scored, that grade is final. You do not get to repeat the IELTS test so you don't get to repeat your practice essays either. This is a real time assessment of your work and the score is final. By the way, the essay has some misspellings and also problems with grammar development. While the grammar is not very good, there are allowances given for that in the scoring system. As long as you are understood by the reader, then your score in that aspect could be passing. It is problem with the prompt requirement and subsequent discussion that really pulled down your score.

**Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g at home, when travelling, etc). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadventages?** ## Today's technology improvements It goes without saying that technology improvement has bring a ripple effect on human life, especially when it comes to talk about employment flexibility. As such, it has allowed many workers to finish their task wherever they want to. Personally, I also think that the merits of this improvement outweight the drawbacks. The information-technology impovement has influenced the flexibility of workers, especially on the way they complete their job. Obviously, this also relates to their productivity. Furthermore, some jobs in particular art company did not need to compel the workers to stay in office all the time. That is why they will get a huge benefits from this simplicity. This is because the artist can complete their painting in the other places, such as home, field, or in tourism places. Moreover, this mobility has influenced on how people arrange their time to work and to relax based on their own self. Additionally, the another benefit of this is relating to how the company has to reduce their outcome, due to the fact that, the office should not be operate 24 hours per day. On the other hand, we can not deny that this technology improvement has some drawbacks too, owing to the fact that there also a job which force the labour to accomplish work in the office, in particular for a big company. For more detail, lets take an example on electronic services' companies. They tend to entire their time in the workplace because it it impossible to doing their job on the other places. That is why, I could say that the disadventages of this mobility are regarding to the effectiveness of workers time to make the problem clear. Clearly, there are some benefits from technology advances since it can makes some particular work became more flexible and highly producing. However, it also has brought a drawbacks as the work became disorganise.

Sriwidayani, your essay is very weak. It does not really offer any solid evidence that the benefits of IT outweigh its disadvantages. You did present a discussion, but the evidence to support it was mostly general in nature instead of specific. In order to promote the idea that IT has more advantages, there needed to have been a specific mention of the IT methods or gadgets that make telecommuting a more advantageous method of working when compared to commuting to the office in order to perform work related tasks. You were supposed to also concentrate on technological innovations and not occupations such as painting. That does not require technology for its performance. That is not a telecommuting job that relies on technology. In your second paragraph, you assumed that the person will still need to go to the office to do work even with the gadgets available. Your discussion in this aspect is a prompt deviation and as such, forces your score to become even lower. The discussion in that paragraph is wrong because the given topic centers on only one premise which is *"Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace"*. As such, you have proven that you did not understand the prompt and you do not have enough knowledge with which to properly discuss the topic. These are the reasons why I do not think you can score higher than a 3.

*Inner city traffic congestion is still a serious problem in many cities. Much of this congestion is caused by there being simply too many cars on our roads. What could be done to encourage people not to use their cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.* ## solution for the traffic congestion problem Development in automobile industries are very popular nowadays in many countries, this led to traffic congestion issue that impact the pollution and many other factors eventually. The bright side of this surveys is it is not alone in facing the problem, in other countries in the region are also facing the same predicament. There are several measures which could be taken to reduce the current trends. There are many measures to tackle the following and reduce the current impact. Firstly, more development public transport that possible long term implication are and measures that need to emphasize on this. In addition such as increase more frequency hours for public transport, shorten the waiting time, development more option lines. This actions has to be address quickly and decisively in order to reduce the impact of congestion on the road. Secondly, government should provides more discount and rebate while traveling on public transport. For example, minimum of 10% discount when travelling more than few kilometers per day. This helps to reduce the dependency on cars which to be improving gradually not remained prone declines. Furthermore, government should take responsibilities to encourage the people in sharing cars. This action should be discerning enough to tell between pros and corns and lead them to a better environment circumstances. Furthermore, advertisement also lead a majority influences to people which lead to a better communication ways in telling them regarding the problem. Normally, younger generation was likely the majority trend to be related to this issue. For example, the development in automobile which targets them in many attractive bonus when they purchase the vehicle that readily affordable for their personal gratification. This issue will increase the buying percentage in cars therefore causes congestion on the road where they didn't realize it. Therefore, certain actions have to be taken to this group and develop a new plans to address the commitments. In conclusion, every option has its advantages and disadvantages on it, we need to look at the future and study it in order for us to make the right decision that suits the current situation. However, for these changes does not lead to a negative ways if certain and measures are taken.

Lee, the overall score for this essay will be a 5. There are a number of considerations that led to that score. One of the major considerations is that your English grammar is so weak at this point, that the reader cannot easily understand what you are trying to say. Even after a few repeat readings, the reader can only try to guess at the meaning of your sentence or paragraph. Your sentences do not really carry a coherent theme and the chronological presentation of your information isn't really as solid as it could be in the presentation. I also had to score you down because of the inaccurate prompt paraphrasing. You included information in the opening statement that was not included in the original prompt. This resulted in your essay containing inaccurate information and thus, misinforms the reader to a certain extent. It is because of these mistakes that I feel your essay cannot score higher than a 5.

*New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?* ## improvements in different spheres of our life New technologies have developed dramatically in the recent years. It touched many people lives and impacted them in so many ways, one of the affected parts is buying and selling. It got a major scope of attention causing distinctive change in lives of consumers. In this essay I'll discuss ideas behind this revolution . Firstly, no one denies the fact that new advanced technology inventions made our lives easier regarding advertising and commerce, making us connected to all new inventions as well as allowing us to transport goods easier, people are now more familiar with global companies and can follow new fashions, new cars' options created, cameras and every new technology developed regardless how far they are. However, many people still complain that lots of countries are transparent to that transformation as internet, that made this evolution possible, is restricted in their regions, even some of them don't know what internet is. So here the division is present and such generalization can not be made. Secondly, part of this outbreak was due to social network involvement in which people can communicate and market their products easier and cheaper at the same time, sellers can now make a direct contact with the clients to take feedbacks, suggestions and complains in order to maximize the satisfaction of consumers leading eventually to development of business markets. Nowadays, many companies have evolved and grown using mainly social networks as a main marketing tool to their products. To sum up, we are now more connected than ever, this has created an atmosphere that promotes creativity in the business activities that helped in improving it in so many ways. I believe that we are witnessing now a new era of buying and selling technology that will upgrade the way the consumer shops sharply.

Jason your essay will recieved a failing score of 3. That is due to your obvious misunderstanding of the prompt instructions. You are expected to merely agree or disagree with the given statement, justifying it to the reader based upon your personal experience or popular knowledge. Your essay changed the prompt instructions when you said that you would instead be discussing the history of the trend. . Review the instructions and compare it with what you wrote. You wrote an essay counter to the instructions given. One you make a mistaken in the prompt paraphrasing, you end up writing the wrong essay. So, you cannot be scored for the rest of the criteria since your work doesn't apply to the original instructions. You need to be careful when establishing the task accuracy representation. Make a mistaken there and you will immediately fail the test.

**The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U.S. state of Oregon.** ## inhabitants numbers of the oregon state The provided line chart describes the number of people who live in three counties from 1940 to 2000. The measurement is in thousands. In general trend, the population in three regions witnessed an upward trend. Meanwhile, the favorite territorial to live in was in Washington. At the beginning of the year, the highest population was in Washington while Colombia and Yamhill had less mark figure around 30 thousands. Moreover, there were wide gap between people who stayed in Washington and both of the countries. By 1970 until the end of period, the increasing populations had continued and changed significantly in all features. The ratio of initial Washington figure had had three times higher than the end of figure. Furthermore, Yamhill and Colombia figures had increased considerably by the same amount by just over 5 thousand. Interestingly, population of the latter had had same amount with the initial population in Washington. Finally, Washington had still become the favorite place than the others. *

Hermin, in order to create a proper overview summary of the line graph you were provided, you need to make sure that you summarize the points for discussion in it. The first step, would be to inform the reader about the names of the 3 states that are involved in the study. The next, would be the type of chart you are being asked to discuss, and finally, the type of information that you will be presenting. Your paragraphs tend to fall under the 3 sentence minimum requirement. In this essay, your last paragraph is too long. It could have been better formatted if you used some of the information in that paragraph in the previous one. I noticed that you did not use any of the actual figures that were indicated in the line graph. You also did not mention all of the years as indicated in the illustration. These summary essays need to be very precise in the presentation of information. That means that you need to use all of the references, specially the numerical references if you are to properly inform the reader regarding the prompt requirements. So, considering these problems with your essay, I think that you can expect to score no more than a 4.

**Topic: The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree ?** ## Advertising should be more controlled and limited In today's world, there are different categories of advertising, which have become more and more prevalent. Some people believe that if all advertising forms prohibited, citizens will be benefited in many ways due to its usefulness. From my perspective, I totally agree with this point of view because of a variety of reasons. First of all, advertisements are time-consuming and popular, which makes people feel dissatisfied and disturbed. As all we know, there are numerous types of advertisements, ranging from adverts on TV channels and product placements to promotional campaigns. Undoubtedly, residents have to confront with them on a daily basis, which may cause people feel exhausted and annoyed. For instance, when viewers are focusing on watching a gorgeous film, every five minutes, products are brought by actors or actress as a symbol of advertisements such as Samsung smartphones. These product placements exist everywhere in the films, which may make viewers have a sense of dissatisfaction and their concentration may be interrupted instantly. Therefore, if the authority curbs advertisements, people will certainly feel relieved without worrying about the over-popularity of adverts. Another reason is product-images on advertisements are quite distinct from the conditions of real items. It is inevitable that producers have to afford a huge amount of money to pay for adverts. They, as a result, have to lower the quality of the real items to make higher profits. Many companies take advantage of the luxury of the promotions to boost the conditions of their products. Customers are easily deceived by eye-catching appearances of goods on advertisements even though the real items are unqualified. As a result of advertising appeal, consumers will totally trust producers and purchase their goods without concerning about its true colours. Consequently, residents may use low-quality products, which might be made of chemicals or preservatives. It is obvious that those promotional campaigns introduces people misleading information of products while people always want to buy something have positive influences on their health. Consequently, advertisements should be forbidden due to its damage. All in all, although all forms of advertising provides consumers general know-how about what they are pronch to buy, I personally think that those in control should limit them due to its detrimental impacts on people's life, including their emotions and their health.

Linh, a quick point of correction in the paraphrased opening statement. You contradicted yourself when you said that you agree that all forms of advertising need to be banned, but then state this should be done because of its usefulness. The term you should have used needed to be similar to the the original prompt which was "non-usefulness". Using the term "usefulness" contradicted the prompt statement. If you believe the ads are useful then you should have disagreed, not agreed with the statement given in the prompt. Your conclusion should not have tried to continue the discussion with new information either. A simple essay discussion summary restatement would have sufficed. The overall reasoning was good even though the grammar not as smooth as it should've been. Based upon this current work. Your score would probably be 4 due to the wrong paraphrasing but effective reasons that you provided and could have better developed.

**The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000 in three different counties in the U.S state of Oregon.** ## the population had rocketed significantly The line chart displays the information about the alteration of Oregon's inhabitant number from 1940 to 2000 which is compared in three different counties. At the first glance, all features indicated an upward trend, while Washington became the most populous city. Intially, the most density area was seen in Washington, as such it placed by 75 thousands people in 1940 while the other two cities just stood at around 30 thousands. Following this, all features witnessed a gradual decrease until 1970. Interrestingly, Columbia and Yamhill has a similar pattern, therefore both of them stayed almost in same position, which is appoximately 45.000 society. By 2000, Washington's population had rocketed significantly up to two fold from the former. As a result, it reached a peak at this period. On the other side, Columbia and Yamhill went grow up about twice. Eventually, the final population rate of Columbia was equal with Washington in the first period. *

Sriwidayani, I am not sure if your tutor had told you this but, one of the scoring considerations in the task 1 essay is the accuracy with which you present and use the data supplied to you. You weren't able to really do that in this essay. Probably because you were not arrear of that rule. So in the overview, you should have indicated the names of the towns being compared along with the years of comparison. You can any just present selective information in the overview, you must represent the information to be presented in greater detail within the essay. The information presentation in the rest of the essay is acceptable but could have been more precise and analytical in presentation. Based on these observations, your essay would probably be scored wiring the 4-5 range, depending on other scoring considerations.

**The graph below shows the population change between 1940 and 2000in three different counties in the U.S state Oregon.** ## Oregon Population During Different Periods The line chart exhibits the information about the number of population in three parts of Oregon which showed every 30 years starting from 1940 to 2000. At the first glance, Washington is the most crowded county whose population increase sharply during a 60-year period. However, the less favorite part for living in Oregon was Colombia. At the beginning of year, the Oregon preferred to live in Washington. Its population was twice as much as Colombia and Yamhill. This trend was continuing during the period and the gap between Washington and Yamhill became bigger and bigger. It is because the Washington population was rocket sharply. A more detail looked to the chart reveals that Colombia and Yamhill have under a third of Oregon population. They increased slowly to almost 90 thousand, but Yamhill slightly above Colombia. Furthermore, in 1940-to-1970 period, Colombia and Yamhill witnessed slower increase then 1970-to-2000 period. And it can be seen that Yamhill more favorite to stay than Colombia. *

Agus, you cannot score higher than a 4 with this essay because of a number of reasons. The first, is that the essay does not accurately use the information in the graph that you were provided. When you write a summary essay, specially one based on factual data, you must always use the numbers provided. That means, the year, the values, and any other comparison data that you analyzed in the chart. Without these information, the essay, such as the one that you wrote does not inform the reader of anything important. It becomes almost hearsay in approach and makes the words that you write worthless. If it cannot educate the reader, then the essay is not useful to them. This essay is meant to inform, you work did not do that. Also, please familiarize yourself with the states / provinces of the United States. Oregon and Washington are locations of the states, therefore the location of Oregon cannot move to the location of Washington. However, the people who reside in these states can move from one state to another. Next time, explain that the people from Oregon are the ones moving to Washington. Not Oregon moving to Washington. That will never happen.

*Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?* ## great role of big sporting competitions Some sports' advocates believe that popular events like World Cup is crucial means in conciliating conflicts between nations and liberating patriotic pride. I disagree with this view and believe that the role of these sporting occasions is overrated. Firstly, a single sport tournament could not help alleviate international prolonged disputes. The event, which is held periodically, can sure captivate civilians' attention and enable them to forget the grief they are suffering to join in a celebration of sorts, for a few seconds. However, the majority of the time they have to spend on dealing with serious wars' consequences . Solider and civilian causalities, violation of human rights, infrastructure destruction, crime, illiteracy among other mental health issues from the trauma of the wars would definitely take up a significant amount of time to recover and rebuild. From ancient to recent time, it is ambiguous that sports can bring people together and pave a path to peace. The Romans and Greeks would interrupt battle to participate in the games, but for a fixed time only. While the U.S. national team played Cuba for the first time was due more to FIFA requirements than any diplomatic efforts on the part of either country. Interestingly, there is a firm correlation between strong feelings of patriotism and the likelihood of war. In fact, people who are patriotic have a greater sense of belonging to a particular nation or what is so-called "national identity." The concept of placing their own country over another in terms of religious differences, political policies or economic envy can encourage violence against the neighboring countries. El Salvado beat Honduras in a World Cup qualifying match which later ignited longstanding elevating tension between the two countries into a brief war is a vivid example of a legacy of pain and pride between the two. The promising outlook that Irag can host its first national soccer team home game takes nothing for granted to the principles of sports which promote cultural plurality and togetherness. In contrast, a deep-rooted destructive relationship after the U.S. evasion of Irag would trigger a revenge massacre for the killing of approximately 500,000 Iraqis. In conclusion, sports' power to heal is stronger than hatred power to destroy has been mirages. The termination of war demands more than sole sporting diplomacy.

Hailung, it is my opinion that you have written an essay worth a score of 6 at the most. While your conviction and tone is very strongly represented in your work, there are still a number of problems that have prevented you from gaining a higher score. One of the problems is the presentation of your opening statement. You presented a 2 sentence overview when the requirement is for a minimum of 3 sentences. You could have presented the reasons separately in order to meet that requirement or, you could have expanded upon the prompt restatement in order to create a more engaging opening piece. The conclusion also suffers from a similar problem. There is also an issue with your lexical resource. Evasion means to avoid something while invasion, means an unwelcome intrusion into another domain. Bear in mind that you will lose points for misused words. So if you are not sure of the meaning, do not use it in the essay. The wrong word usage affects more than your lexical score, it also has a direct effect on your GRA. So your otherwise strong essay was weakened by the problematic language representation.

**Some educationalist argue that non-exam, art-based subjects such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance.** ## Art-Based Subjects and Student's Performance Curriculum is the important aspect in educational system. Some educational experts believe that non-exam, art-based curriculum have to be applied in secondary schools because it can increase student's performance in the class. Others, however, believe that non-scientific subject such as music, drama, art, and craft only improve student's art skills. In this case, I strongly claim that art-based curriculum in secondary school is very useful in increasing student's useful skills and their academic performance. To begin with, the art-based subjects teach several vital skills for students such as confidence, team work and leadership. Firstly, art subject like singing, forces student to have good confidence. They must sing in front of others and show their voice. Secondly, taking drama as instance, pupils have to interact with each other to conduct a role well, so that it builds their social skill. After they involve in team work, their leadership skill is also gradually developed. So that, it is clear that pupil's skills are increased by art-based subject. Furthermore, the improving of their skills supports on their performance in learning. Art-based subject contain many activities which cover all student learning style; for example, Painting covers visual learning-style, kinesthetic style is covered by dancing, and singing can cover the student who is auditory. D' Potter, an educational expert launching his quantum teaching method in 2001, succeeded on improving student academic performance. His method developed by art method such as dancing before learning, using colour in remembering theory. Moreover, his experimented result showed that student motivation is improved by 80%. Taking everything into consideration, i totally agree that art-based subject more effectively in supporting student on getting optimal performance in school rather than scientific subject. Student predominant social skills will be improved and it is helpful for them in their future. In my view, teacher should apply learning method which cover student's learning style

Agus , this essay is good when you consider that you successfully represented the prompt requirements in your opening statement. You remembered to represent your opinion at the end of the statement, which created a thorough outline for the discussion of our essay. Make sure that you understand the terms that you are using in the essay in the correct manner. For example, when you refer to singing, that refers to music and not art. By referring to singing as an art, which is partially correct, you misrepresent the category that the talent belongs to. Another important thing that you have to take note of is that you should only use personal knowledge and experience in defending your stand. Never use researched information like you did now because during the actual test, you will not have access to a live internet connection. All computers will be LAN connected only. So if you rely on researched information during your practice tests, you will be lost and possible fail the test when you lose internet access. The score for this essay could be 5 because you did a very good job of discussing the topic and your opinion.

## changes noticed in Sorrel cottage between 1980 and 2002 The map shows the developments that occured at Sorrel Cottage during a 22 - year period from 1980 to 2002. It is clear from the maps that the most striking change that happened at the Sorrel Cottage was the enlarged size of the garden. Additionally, quite a few infrastructures were added to the poperty between 1989 and 2001. In 1980, the garden became bigger by the purchase of a plot of land which was situated to the south of the original garden and which is almost equal in size to the garden in 1980. Two years later, the garden was extended because of the acquisition of another plot of land on the eastern border, which effectively doubled the area of the original garden. From 1986 to 1988, there was a construction of a new house to the south of the Cottage and in the following year an orchard was planted in the northern part of the land acquired in 1985. The year 1990 saw two additions to the land: a pond in the original garden and a vegetable garden opposite to the orchard in the eastern plot of land. Two lines of trees appeared along the southern and the northern edge of the land acquired in 1996. Between 2000 and 2001, an open - air swimming pool was errected in the land purchase in 1983. *

Phuong, your presentation lacks coherence and your sentences vary from hanging to run - on sentences. As a rule of thumb, all paragraphs needs to have at least 3 sentences each. So, train yourself to use a period in paragraphs. Go full stop. Do not pause by using a comma. Always stop totally before writing additional information in the essay. Your final sentence is even worse because it just hangs there. Not really belonging to a paragraph, nor actually giving additional important information. The reason that sentence was misplaced is because the year of the information being provided should have been included in the first part of the paragraph. Always give a chronological presentation of the data to the reader, specially when actual years are involved, such as in this case. It is never a good idea to just insert or add information at the end because it will be hard for you to then develop the sentence into a full paragraph. Don't say "two years later" when the information you are given actually provides the dates regarding when things happened. Use the complete year whenever possible because this shows that you actually assessed the diagram and have a clear understanding of what information must be presented in the essay because it is important and required in order to understand the development of the area in the diagram. All things considered, depending upon the more minute considerations an examiner might have for your essay, you could probably score somewhere between a 4 or 5 for this kind of work.

## Job Hopping Nowadays, in the modern society, the definition of Job-Hopping is widely spreading among the youth generation. There is a fact that young people prefer job hopping to just sticking with only one job for a long time. It can put a positive and also negative impact on a carrer, depends a lot on the circumstances of every individual. In this essay, i am going to analyze both points of view. Firstly, it is undeniable that various jobs can bring young people a lot of different experiences which they are seeking and in need to get recognized. Working in diverse environments will make people become more active and more dynamic, even more versatile. Furthermore, it is a common thing that working in the same occupation for years will make you tedious and feeling is one of the most significant aspects that affect working productivity. This brand new thinking of job is just a sharp sword that helps young people to strive strongly towards their futures. However, any sharp swords always have two edges. Changing occupations frequently means that you can't gain much experience and expertise in your specific major, and also job security which is a thing that a steady job can get. Thus, every company may recognise the loyalty and professions of employees to consider the promotion. On the other hand, the one who often changes jobs may be seen as unreliable and can lost a lot of benefits that could be for the long-term employees. The most tremendous things that everyone desires is job security, whereas changing jobs always goes along with risks, staying in one jo can meet this demand. Each type of working style has its own pros and cons. The other's advantages is what the left-over lacks, it is all about the strategy that young people have to consider to make good and suitable decisions for their careers.

Tu, be careful of the way that you spell your words. You will get marked down for every word that is misspelled such as "carer" for "career' and "jo" for jobs. This carelessness in the way that you developed the essay will have an effect on your English familiarity and grammar accuracy scores. Two criteria that, when combined, could spell the passing or failing of your essay score. These are easily correctable errors that I hope to see you improve upon with your next essays. Now, I do not want to harp only on the negatives of your essay because you did do some things right. Those right things have to to do with the strength of your reasoning and logic. Though your grammar tends to be problematic, it does not take away from the fact that the essay contains an acceptable discussion and can still be easily understood despite the grammar setbacks. So, you did a good job just the same.

**Some educationalists argue thet non-exam arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. to what extent do you agree or disagree?** ## being an expert without learning Non-scientific subjects Everyone has their own talent, either on art, sport, or the others. That's why many people say that to be an expert one, children should put more attention on practical subject based on their aptitude, because there beliefs that is non-sense to teach children with lack of artistic talent to involve in art classes at school. In my view, I tend to agree with this notion due to several strong reason. Children will be happier to repeat the subject which they are very likely than the the others. That's why, to make them focus on one skill in particular art, it should be connected with their aptitudes. Moreover, art is emotion which need deeply imagination to create an outstanding compotion. Because of that, to be an art expert, children skill should improve at the begining of their ages. So, they will learn to feel deeply more and more. Additionaly, only person with peacefull condition who has a big possibility to design a luxury product. So, it's clear that developing skill by the aptitudes becoming so essential. In the other hand, there also artist who have a good painting, but starting to learn art in school without an art aptitude before. This is because they have a big strong-willing to try and try. Unfortunately, there only a small portion of people in the world could be like this. To sum up, it is true that there is an expert artist today who start painting and drawing without aptitudes. It means that someone's tallent can be improve by the time. But, it will be better for focusing children based on their aptitude to build up a perfect art product due to the fact that they will have a big impression on it.

Sriwidayani, it seems to me that you discussed the wrong prompt requirement in this essay. Were you practicing by answering two different prompt simultaneously? That has happened here before with dire consequences. Such as in this instance. If this were an actual test, you would automatically gain a score of 3 due to the improper topic discussion. The question was whether you agree or disagree that non-exam art based subjects will help a student develop academically so it should be a compulsory class in secondary school. What you discussed instead was whether students should be made to take classes that he may not excel in. Which is a totally different prompt discussion. That is why you failed this practice test. It is clear that you did not understand the prompt instructions nor were you even conscious of what the topic for discussion was.

## technology gives as a comfort Without doubt, that our life become more convenient is to depend on information technology. In some extent, I agree that the contribution of technology makes improve the quality of life. However, I also believe that technology brings us some dangers. On the one hand, technology have a positive influence on society. They make a contact with people become simple more than ever. Doing household chores doesn't make women, wives feel drained anymore because of the support of cutting - edge household appliances. Especially education, people apply new gadgets or create studying programs to make lessons more interesting, easier to remember and study. Thanks to them, students can acquire knowledge and use it in concrete situations. On the other hand, we cannot turn a deaf ear to potential problems. Firstly, because of the convenience of high technology, people have intention of being lazy, dependent on advanced tools and even isolated with outside. They may become inactive when they do their business, because they think that Internet can give them all information they need without having practical experiences. Besides, if people don't know how to use the state - of - the - art devices clearly, it will make a fire, destroy their assets or even lose their lives. In conclusion, the main function of technology is to provide human with comforts. Meanwhile, people must have enough knowledge to use and spend time reasonably on it. Only by doing so can we make a full positive of technology and alleviate its negatives.

Vy, you make some pretty valid discussion points in your essay. Just one point for correction though. In an academic testing essay such as this one, it is always best if you give a general description or discussion, without concentrating on a particular gender. That is because these days, the genders all experience the same problems regardless of whether technology exists or not because people in general, live in an almost uniform manner due to the existence of technology. So in instances when your information applies to all genders, be vague. Your score will be higher. In your conclusion, I do not approve of you adding information that you were not properly able to build up and explain further. It left me wondering what else you could have said to further convince me that your opinion on the topic is the right one to side with.

**IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : The three charts below show the changes in annual spending in Somelands** The pie charts compare the alteration of expenditure in local government of Someland over 30-year period. Overall, almost all features were dominated by higher education but the smallest proportion of fund had spent by other parts. The total amount of expenditure decreased dramatically from 1980 to 2000 by both K-12 education and other features while environmental service increase gradually. At the beginning of the 30-year period, the figures for higher education and K-12 education spent just over a half. By the end of 30 years, the former had risen by 5 percent while the latter had fallen dramatically. Moreover, the amount of expenditure had decreased steadily about one in twenty such as other parts while environmental services had risen gradually. A more detail looks at pie chart reveals that the number of transportation and number of human resources fluctuated. Between 1980 and 1990, the former decreased while the latter increased. Furthermore, from 1990 to 2000 the number of those outgoing to transportation had risen, while the number of those spending on human resource had sharply fallen. *

Restuan, please take note that you should only use the information provided to you within the pie charts and you are not at liberty to make up some information, or relate information that is not in the chart. There was no indication of the place "Someland" in the pie chart and instructions. So that term should not be used in your essay. The proper way to have written the overview would have been to say: *Three pie charts, covering 3 decades of expenses for an unknown town has been provided for analysis...* When there are factors that are missing from the chart that need to be mentioned, the test is trying to find out if you have the analytical skills to spot that missing data and, if you have the ability to properly represent the missing data in your essay in a proper manner. The language of your essay gets confusing at certain points. For example, I reread the part where you wrote: *Furthermore, from 1990 to 2000 the number of those outgoing to transportation had risen,* What do you mean by "outgoing to transportation"? That phrase does not make any sense to a native English speaker. These, plus additional grammar concerns led to a score of 4, in my opinion for this essay.

## salary in a work consideration **topic: When choosing a job, the salary is the most important. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?** Career choice is one of the most important decisions people have to make carefully. Some people believe that the income is a key factor to secure a job. From my perspective, I disagree with the statement. My view is there are certain aspects which are more significant than the salary when people choose their jobs. First of all, a passion for one job plays an indispensable role when people decide their occupations more than high salaries. In other words, career choices must be based on people's likes and what they have burning desires for. Job seekers should look for careers which are suitable with their personalities and their dreams instead of following high-paid jobs. Simply because a favorite career gives rise to high job satisfaction. It creates joyfulness and make employees delighted in working. As a result of high job satisfaction, workers will run their business more efficiently and in a much more productive way. Employees will be motivated to work and be creative during working time as they are doing what they have passions for. It is obvious that career choices will affect long-term life. Staff may, therefore, torture themselves with stress and negative emotions if they have well-paid jobs but not their passions. Another criterion when seeking an occupation is working conditions. Even though handsome income will help workers to meet their requirements, they will certainly have a sense of dissatisfaction if they have to work in primitive conditions. For instance, the company lacks modern devices and updated machines, which helps worker conduct effectively. The shortage of equipment may cause the staff become exhausted to fulfill their tasks. Moreover, attitude of co-workers is vitally important when the work needs staff cooperation. People may get demotivated if they cannot get along well with their co-workers. It is inevitable that a good working environment results in the efficiency in working. Consequently, job seekers should look for a favorable working conditions which provide people an incentive to work harder in place of a high salary job but cannot work satisfactorily. All in all, although it is necessary to find a career which offers a high sum, I personally think that job satisfaction is by far the most important, including a work that people are interested in and work atmosphere. Workers cannot apply an occupation without considering about what they have strong feelings for or how good the working conditions are. Consequently, when applying a job, aside from the salaries, job satisfaction must be taken into consideration. Thanks in advance!!

Linh, you have done an excellent job of discussing this topic. Your language use and control is admirable and helped you to create a higher level of English writing, regardless of the minimal existence of grammar issues in your paragraphs. This is one of the few times that the essay writer has been able to accurately discuss and represent the prompt requirements to the point where the discussion presented actually has serious consideration value. The examiner will immediately notice that you took the time to perfect the writing of this essay which, by the way, could easily score anywhere between a 6 and a 7. It is this perfection that makes me wonder if you wrote the essay within the time limit or if you wrote it without regard for the actual exam parameters. If you wrote this beyond the required time, I strongly suggest that you try to write this way while practicing the time requirement. There is not much to critique in this essay because you show a clear understanding of the prompt and the ability to form simple to somewhat complex English sentences. Good job!

***Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.) Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?*** ## Employee Benefits As integral part of human life, people are so depend on developing technology and it alters them in working place. Smartphone, laptop or personal computer can be used by workers without going to their office. While questions have been regarding the positive impact that information technology in office, these definitely outweigh the drawbacks. The immense benefit is felt by employer in city center. They always meet traffic congestion in the morning and in the afternoon and it will consume much time so people depression boost. Due to working at home, they can save their time, money and they never feel stress. As an illustrate, entrepreneurs will spend their time in the way because they must be negotiated with their partners and always have high mobility. Owing to boosting technology, they still work in vehicles and can be conveyed with clients. They also can make job planning in cars. On the other hand, the using mobile phone making people become individualism. The employers will work in their home and this causes them to be less socialization with their neighbor. They only concentrate on finishing the job and by using telecommunicate they have rarely made communication with other people. In addition, using telecommunicate tools in public transportation can increase incidences of crimes such as thieve. Makassar, on of big city in Indonesia, also common in criminality. People who see their valuable goods such as smartphone or laptop always become thieve target. Henceforth, it can be confidently conveyed that, workers can be aided by information technology and ensure completing the jobs. However, people must aware in surrounding. Even though the using technology has negative impacts, these outweigh benefits.

Hermin, you have really tried to apply yourself to the writing of this essay. Unfortunately, it still was not good enough. The highest score you can get with this essay is most likely a 4. That is because the way that you developed your discussion is unclear and confusing to the reader. It causes undue stress to anyone who is reading your work because the sense of logic is missing and the clarity of the paragraph does not come through. It takes a number of multiple readings on the part of the reader before he can get a better idea of what it is that you are trying to say. You have just started to write in English so I can understand why your work is turning out this way. Using the advice that you are given, I am hoping to see some sort of improvement in your writing skills over the coming days. Concentrate on making your paragraphs or key sentences understandable in order to improve your scores.

***The diagram shows how tealeaves are processed into five tea types. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.*** ## Process of tea production The provided diagram describes about how to produce five variations among tealeaves. In general trend, there are several stages in the process, starting with plucking the leaf and culminating in an oven. Moreover, there are also different stages which is depended on different products. To begin, there are similarity stages from each type. The leaves which have been growth will be plucked. After plucking process, the leaves are withered by sun. The finally stage is also had similarity because all of leaves must be undergone in an oven. However, there are some steps which are differentiated to produce variation of tea. The subsequent stages, white tea can be made from this similarity. Meanwhile, green tea and oolong tea have addition stages. The former process is passed through by steaming process to result exothermic reaction then it will be rolled. The latter is not only occurred rolling process but also the addition process producing oolong tea is fermented slightly. Producing large and small leaf black tea are fermented fully, but the obvious different both of them are crushing and rolling process. Large tea is experienced rolling process, but the small must be crushed. *

Hermin, I realize that you want to show an in-depth analysis of the tea making process that you provided with. However, it is not good for your essay to make up information that is not included in the illustration you were given. The sun isn't mentioned anywhere in the process and therefore, should not be included in your summary. You are expected to provide an accurate and analytical summary of the information that you are provided with. That means you cannot include information, such as an "exothermic reaction" when it is not indicated in the process. You also missed out on mentioning the process of "steaming". I think that you mistook the "steaming" process for an "oven" process. Those should not be interchanged because steaming is a totally different process from oven roasting, which is what you are implying in your essay. Basically, you have the right idea as to how to approach the essay. It is the execution that turned out to be flawed so you only got a score of 4 for the essay.

## "International students should not be allowed to work while studying in Australia." Discuss require 600 words ( 10% deviation ) It is common that international students go to find a job in Australia. Doing a job in Australia have two advantages and two disadvantages. Some people argued that government should stop the right of international students in doing a job；whereas other people suggest that international students working in Australia are beneficial for them. Although it is argued that overseas students could gain some assets for the future life, in this case, they will make two problems to the society. The reasons why International students should not be allowed to work in Australia are causing unemployment and affecting the study. To begin with, students will increase the rate of unemployment of local residents. For example, when an international student found a job, the local residents will be lost one working opportunity. Also, employers are more likely to employ an international student. Because oversea students do not know the law of minimum salary, they may receive a lower salary than a local resident. Furthermore, international students may get hurt at work. For instance, an international student is doing a driver job, who drove into the tree accidently because of the rain weather. Thus, he hurt his leg and cannot move for some months. This accident will affect his student's study. Many people believe that job is not suitable for international students. On the other hand, there are two advantages why international students should find a job. Firstly, International students could train English speaking skill during the job. For instance, when international students find a waiter job in a restaurant, they have to speak English with the customers or staffs during the job. Thus, they can increase the English-speaking skill effectively. Secondly, International students need to work for affording the cost of living. In details, the renting price of accommodation in Australia is very expensive. Living in student apartment is probably 400 dollars per week. That is quite hard for a student to afford the rents. Students can find a job to better the balance of personal bills. It may be true that students can have a chance to speak more English at work. Also, they can earn some money from jobs. However, these benefits are not totally true. At first, some international students may speak the first language in some restaurants. If Japanese students find a job in a Japanese restaurant, they probably speak the Japanese language during the job. On the other hand, if students want to train their English-speaking skill. They could make more international friends who do not speak the same language from the class. In addition, International students could rent a house or apartment together to avoid the high price of accommodation. On the internet, some big houses have 4 to 6 bedrooms. If students find some friends to take a house together, they can save money on renting. In summary, the controversial issue is that whether international students should have a right of doing a job. It should not happen. Because international students will decrease the chance of a job for the local residents. Also, it is easy for a student to get injured at work. On the other hand, international students could speak English with people from other countries. At the same time, they can share a house together to decrease the rents. Therefore, international students should not be allowed to find a job. This is my first time to upload an essay. Thanks for watching.

Philip, your essay has a number of grammatical problems. The first problem, is your fondness for using the word "Because" to start a sentence. The term "because" is a connecting word that is used to connect a previous idea with the next idea. Therefore, it cannot be used to start a sentence as you very often do in this essay. You also have a problem completing the thoughts in your sentences. You often place a period at the end of a sentence that has yet to complete its thought presentation. This creates a hanging sentence which, does not help create an authoritative image of yourself as a writing student. You have a tendency to discuss more than one topic per paragraph. This makes it difficult to keep track of the information and also, creates confusion when it comes to deciphering what you really want to say in the paragraph. Try to limit each paragraph to one idea or two connected ideas per paragraph. That way the reader doesn't get stressed out trying to keep track of the conversation you are presenting.

**Topic: fossil fuels are the main sources in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. is it a postive or negative development?** ## Fossil Fuels vs Alternative Energy Sources The consumption of fossil flues witnesses a dramatic increase in many parts of the world, while renewable clean energy sources are also applied in some advanced countries. I am supportive of the view that the utilization of renewable energy has a positive impact on environment and people's lives. First of all, over-consumption of fossil resources can pollute and destroy local ecosystem. These valuable fossil fuels will be irreplaceable if they are depleted. Meanwhile enormous disasters, such as floods, sand storms and acid rain, can occur frequently, since the balance of ecosystem has been destroyed during fossil fuel exploration and development. Furthermore, the generation of fossil flues can have an adverse impact on people's living standard, especially the healthy condition. The toxin released from fossil flues can pose a severe threat on people's health, even damaging life. In China, for instance, citizens today have to wear mask when they are outside, as the result of contamination particle generated from fossil fuels. In contrast, the popularity of renewable energy can either satisfy people's daily demands or mitigate the environment impact caused by human activities. Wind power, solar panels and hydroelectric power are unlikely to generate toxic gas and emit pollutant and rather cheap, so the optimal use of such alternatives is more likely to accelerate social development in a sustainable way. In conclusion, replacing fossil fuels with other forms of energy is undoubtedly a positive revolution, since such improvement can minimize pollution to a large extent, and achieve environmentally friendly in a practical way.

Emily, unless you are specifically asked to do so in the prompt instructions, you should never write the essay from a personal point of view. The pronouns to be used here should be third person pronouns because you should be only informing the reader instead of trying to influence an opinion or belief. As such, your essay could be scored down for not properly representing the prompt instructions. You should also be careful of your grammar and spelling. Points are lost for careless writing such as "flues" when you meant "fuels". You are scored on grammar accuracy and lexical resource so by being careless in the way that you form the words, you show that you are not capable of writing coherently in English, thus further lowering your score consideration. Although you make some pretty good arguments in your essay, the mistakes that you made resulted in a lowering of your score from a possible 6 to a 5.

*As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken , there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice?* ## Minority Languages Dying As the world become more connected, the attention is more drawn toward the prominent languages like English; Spanish and Mandarin as they are spoken by quite the majority of population around the globe. However, this has created a concern that some old languages spoken by small nations will be forgotten because of neglection, so people started to make plans in order preserve their original cultures as language is an important part of it. In this essay I will discuss some suggestion that might be useful in preserving languages. One of the solutions would be government interference. For example making all governmental activities in the original language, like trade activities; usual internal transactions, this would enforce people to use their own language even more instead of using the control languages and help them to stay attached. On the other hand, some argue that this procedure would cause disruption in international activities, like students who study abroad or international trade activities as all of these paper work transactions must be translated. Another action can be done by using education. Raising young children with the concept of being proud of their language; using it in teaching classes so that they can grow having the original roots of their nation wherever they go. However, as globalization become much more enabled, it would be even waste more than useless to ignore or even not giving a great attention to the dominant spoken languages in order to save what eventually will go. Hard obstacles will face such suggestion. While it is considered an important financial part of every country, tourism can be used as a great tool to publish the knowledge of the original country culture abroad. For example; employing specialized translators as tourist guides; using translated brochures about historical features in the place and utilizing media in making short documentary films in such purpose. This would draw attention of the world even more to the minor languages so that preserving them and improving the financial state in parallel. All in all, languages especially the old ones deserve having attention and actions must present in order to maintain them as being an important part of every culture. A lot of solutions present in order to preserve them, eventually making people connected doesn't necessitate omitting our history that represents us.

Noura, I am disappointed in the essay that you wrote because you did not develop the proper answer to the prompt requirement. You failed to properly understand the instructions for the discussion development. You are not being asked for suggestions regarding how to preserve the native languages, you were asked about your point of view regarding this practice. So somewhere along the way, you failed to understand the prompt requirement. This resulted in a mistaken discussion in your essay. Due to your prompt non compliance, this essay cannot get a score other than a 3. That is such a shame because you really wrote a very good essay. It just wasn't the right discussion to present. Since you are still doing practice tests, you have the opportunity to ask questions about the provided prompts. So seek an explanation first when you feel uncertain so that you will discuss the correct prompt and also, develop your​ English comprehension skills.

## Teaching Parents There is always a heated debate that whether "Parents are the best teachers". When faced with this topic,many people claims that parents would play a significant role in the education of children. While others, in contrast ,believe that what children gain from the society carry greater weight on the children, compared with the former. From where i stand, i am inclined to the former that parents are the best teacher. What books are to scholars, instruments are to musicians, parents are always behind the children, and the influence they bring is the same, which is along with the whole lifetime of children. What parents do, even on a tiny thing, could leave deep impressions on the children's mind. For example, If the parents are not mentally healthy, it is very possible for the children to suffer from the mental illness in the future. Therefore, parents should often watch out their behaviors to be equal to a "teacher" and keep in mind that a best teacher is able to cultivate children through their daily life. What's more, family education lends itself to direct and stimulate children's interest. If history is a guide, most of the famous people who have made great achievement benefit from excellent family education. The education is not only about the right principles to suit in the society, but also tapping their potentials. Children who have discovered fields that they are willing to devote to are tend to be more persistent and could go places easier. To conclude, it's reasonable to say that Parents are the best teachers to children in their whole life.

Lijing, what you did he was create your own prompt to respond to rather than responding to the prompt discussion requirement. Nowhere in the original prompt are you asked for the qualities off a good teacher. You are only getting asked to explain whether you are or disagree with the statement about parents being the best teachers. This prompt deviation on your part w will result in an automatic failure of your essay in the actual test. The first thing you have to prove to the examiner is that you are capable of understanding English via the proper prompt restatement and succeeding discussion. Since you decided to create your own prompt and discuss that, you showed that you are able to understand English but cannot follow instructions. If you do not stick to the prompt requirements in your discussion, you cannot pass the test when it you do understand English and are capable of writing and speaking in the language. Another violation of your essay is that you looked questions for the examiner as if you were speaking directly to the person and he can offer you an opinion. Do not lose questions in the essay unless you plan to personally respond to the said question yourself. This is not a physical discussion but rather an opinion paper and should be discussed in the same manner.

Do you think that a bad student has a bad teacher? Personally, I think the major cause of that problem is a result of a less - than effective teacher. In my essay, I will set out my reasons to explain why. ## Bad Teacher => Bad Student? First, pupils are disinterested in school because their teacher cannot get through to them, also is said that, they do not have enough expert knowledge or cannot find an effective way to teach them. Therefore, they gradually brown off, and do not want to do the exercises or learn anything anymore. That makes their scores decrease and the students are underperforming. Second, when students have to put up with a bad - tempered teacher or they are received offensive remarks from their teachers that lead to emotional disorder. Children live in anxiety that someone will abuse school teacher's power to make them hurt when they go to school resulted in that they are afraid of school and teachers there. They may talk that: "I hate school", "I do not want to go to school" - there are sign that they have a bad teacher. However, it is not always true in every circumstance. There are many reasons to make a student worse. A good example of this would be they are lazy to do tasks or assignment, or they are becoming to be a computer addiction. And I believe that a seduce from friends is a big problem that children must be conscious. In conclusion, I believe that a bad teacher can make students ineffectively than they are used to be. Whatever causes there are, parents and society must pay attention to children and supply them with a well education because children are taking the future into their own hands.

Vy, I am not sure what you are supposed to discuss here and how. Rather than presenting an accurate paraphrasing of the prompt requirements, you decided to pose a question before the reader. Which would have been a good thing if you had only bothered to add an explanation of what the essay would be discussing and why. For example, you could have indicated that this is an opinion essay based upon the premise that "students under perform in school due to bad teachers. I will explain why I believe this is so." The current opening statement does nothing to establish the line of discussion within the essay, which is what is expected of the opening statement in an exam essay. While the rest of your essay reasons make sense, you suddenly decided to contradict your line of reasoning for some reason come paragraph 4. Why is that? What kind of essay are you trying to really discuss? Why did you suddenly present this reason? You are leaving your reader with more questions than answers in this instance regarding your discussion topics and methods so that the confusion will be sure to affect your final score. Remember, you need to have a clear discussion outline in your first paragraph so that the reviewer can follow the flow of the essay and always know his place even if he stops reading for a while and comes back. You did not accomplish the informative objective of this particular presentation.

*Learning to play team sports is an important part of a child's education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.* ## Sports Education There is no doubt that sports are as important as education to build any individual. While it is argued that it is necessary to learn team sports for children during their education period. In my opinion, it is quite important to do such activity while growing up. I will explain this in my essay. Team sports should be an essential part of an education curriculum. This is because in this way children will learn how to apply themselves in a team. For example, If, a child will learn how to perform in a team through sports he will grasp that quickly and will be groomed up in a better team member on any field in future. However, if they do not participate in such activity then they might not develop such skills and as a consequence of this, they might fail to perform in a team in their future. Furthermore, playing together in a team teach you many lessons like helping your partner, understanding everyone's strong and weak point. Due to these reasons, individual learns to perform at a time of crisis. For instance, Sundar Pichai who is the CEO of the Google admits in his blog that he learned team building skills from cricket which is an eleven member team sports. Thus, if we do not learn how to work in a team in adolescence then we might struggle in future. In conclusion, although education is necessary, however, team building acting activity is equally important to learning different skills like knowing strength and weakness of team member and applying yourself in the tough situations.

Mayank, there is a problem with your opening statement because it does not accurately represent the topic for discussion and the given instruction pertaining to how the topic is to be discussed in the essay. You were being asked to agree or disagree with the topic and, this opinion, should have been presented as part of the discussion outline from the very start. Without that instruction, the essay seems to have taken a prompt deviation in the discussion. Which, we both know is not the case. However, people will think that because you prompt instructions were incomplete in the opening statement. In order to gain a better score, you need to make sure that all requirements for the discussion are properly represented in the opening statement. Next, the conclusion totally went off base when it came to wrapping up the essay. The concluding statement did not reflect information about team sports and your agreement or non-agreement of the given topic. The topic is about learning to plan Team Sports, not about team building. Due to these serious errors, the only possible score I can give you for this essay is 4.

**The diagram below show the stages in the erosion of a headland. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant** ## Headland Erosion The pictures illustrate how a headland can be eroded by wave in the coastal area and how the surface of hard rock can be changed. Overall, it is interesting to notice that even though the wave is quiet enough, it effects on the surface of a headland, and wear the headland down naturally without human activity. Firstly, the first process is destruction of particular part of headland, especially in weak area will be eroded because of wave strength and then the small cave will be created. The small cave is bigger and bigger in size, so that it becomes natural arch. It likes Durdle, Door, and Dorset. The further process, sea water hits the arch roof regularly. As the consequence, the roof stack falls into the sea level and the headland is separated and becomes small headland called stack. Afterward, the sea water still erodes the stuck and it is smaller and smaller. As a result, the small part of the stack exist opposite it, called stump. *

Agus, the essay can probably get a 5 because you managed to present the obvious information in the illustration you were provided. While you would get a good score for this essay, that does not erase the fact that you did not manage to present the explanation of the erosion process in the proper manner. If you review the drawing, you will notice that each picture has a complete series of erosion procedures that combine to create the overall erosion. Each erosion procedure is equivalent to a single paragraph in the essay, had you explained each of the pictures in a complete paragraph manner. Bonus points for knowing how to use the examples given. However, the example is Durdle Door and Dorset. There is no comma between Durdle and Door, it is one word. The essay was already partially written for you in this instance, all you had to do was properly expand upon the provided information. With that said, you should know that there is still plenty of room for you to learn how to fully utilize the illustrations you are given to summarize. Just keep practicing. You have the potential to do it perfectly in the future.

## benefits and drawbacks regarding early learning of second language Acquiring a foreign language is never easy. Deciding on whether kids should start learning a different language at an earlier stage has been a tough pedagogic task for the scholars. This essay holds a supporting stance for the notion that students should learn a foreign language as early as possible due to the fact that it is more flexible and feasible. In terms of flexibility, begin learning at primary school allows more room for manoeuver. Teachers can arrange activities like a study tour to a foreign place or communication with a foreign pen friend for the students throughout the six years. Students can have more time to breed their interest for the language. They can get to know more about the language through watching cartoons with foreign subtitles. Considering the feasibility, though many would claim that children are not mature enough to learn another language at primary school, the fact is kids at primary school are indeed stress-free and would learn at a faster pace instead. Secondary schoolchildren have to confront countless obstacles in their school life, be it the rigid school curriculum or the tremendous pressure brought by the competitive social phenomenon. Hardly can they spare any time for family reunion, not to mention about learning a different language which requires relentless determination. In conclusion, even if primary school children are not physiologically developed enough to learn a new language, the benefits of begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school outweigh the demerits of it in terms of flexibility and feasibility.

Good work Lee. You were able to properly assess the topic for discussion, present the reason behind the discussion, and offer the idea as to how the discussion of the topic would be presented in your essay. Your conclusion also adhered to the same pattern of restating the prompt and reasons in a manner that allowed you to close the essay in a strong manner. Though there are existing grammar accuracy problems in your work, these did not deter the reader from reading what you had to say to the very end. Mostly because the mistakes did not confuse the reader nor pose any problems in deciphering the meaning behind your words. This is a very solid accomplishment on your part. I do not doubt that if you continue to write in this manner, you will score no less than a 6 in the actual test.

**A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community** ## Life on a Dole Better than Climate Pollution It is proved that development of a certain society directly is related to level of domestic or foreign investment. Investment could be in form of opening a new branch or expanding an old factory. Alongside its likely positive outcomes, such investment would cause damages to some extent. In the following paragraphs, I will try to explain what would be the advantages and disadvantages of building of large factory to my community by giving some reasons, ideas and examples. As mentioned in the introduction, establishing new factory is a controversial subject and here I discuss its advantages and disadvantages, respectively. Firstly, nowadays unemployment rate is getting high and having a permanent job will bring peace of mind and decrease stress. Since a newly built factory hires staff, it means that it will lead to numerous job vacancies in the community. In addition to this, it will create new market where it is built and will cause to the establishment of small businesses around that factory. Meanwhile, performing its social responsibilities and funding some voluntary projects, factory can help the improvement of life quality of the residents. Finally, establishment of a new factory will lead to dense commuters and pave the ground for the presence of people from different walks of country and even abroad. Such diversity will cause to the appearance of cross-cultural environment in that community. When it comes to disadvantages of such factory, the first negative outcome will be the pollution of the weather. In another word, all the fossil energies used in this factory will cause to the suspension of toxic and solid particles and carbon dioxides in the weather. All these suspended particles, on the one hand, bring about acid rains damaging agriculture severely. On the other hand, it will increase respiratory sicknesses such as asthma, lung disease etc. Secondly, all hazardous waste and the deadly byproducts of industrial process buried in landfield or dumped in fields not only salinizes the soil at the surface of ground but also pollutes underground waters by seeping down through tiny cracks in the earth. As a result, drinking polluted water itself creates diseases and salinized soil is no longer able to be cultivated. Meanwhile, any likely storm will blow salinized soil away to the atmosphere, in turn, double the suspended particle in the weather. Eventually, as discussed in the above paragraphs, establishing a new factory is a two-sided coin and bring about some advantages and disadvantages. Since it causes some severe diseases, I personally oppose to the opening of such large factory near my community.

Farid, when you write your opening statement, please do not forget to include your personal opinion as required by the essay. That is because the first paragraph needs to properly outline the discussion for your reader. It serves as guideline for the upcoming discussion and prepares the reader for the information you are about to present. In this instance, the paraphrased requirements does not reflect that your personal opinion on the matter is required. So when you present your personal stance, it seems to be out of place in the essay and becomes an non-required set of information. If it is not in the paraphrased paragraph, the assumption is, it should not be in the essay. Now, since the examiner knows exactly what the original prompt requires, when you miss presenting it in your essay, you will be marked down for it. Such as is the case with this particular essay. I don't think you can score higher than a 3 because of the missing prompt elements and, the problem with your conclusion. The conclusion should not have included your personal opinion on the matter. All required elements for discussion should be presented, at all times, within its own paragraph. Never include new information in a closing statement because the essay will end on an open note instead. A properly written essay needs to end the discussion in the final paragraph by presenting the summarized facts of discussion and a reminder of your personal opinion alone. Nothing more, nothing less. Points will be deducted for the improper closing of an essay.

## Houses and Residential Buildings The Map below shows the changes in an American town between 1994 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. The maps illustrate about the alteration of some buildings is in an American village between 1948 and 2010. It can be seen that north west and south east of town had experienced alteration some construction significantly in the couple of years. To begin, north west side of canal in 1948 had few features such as factories, petrol station, residential houses and local supermarket from the north side to the south side. Petrol station was the only feature which existed in both of the years. Factories in 1948 had been altered into airport in 2010. Opposite of the gas station in 1948 was garden albeit it changed into commercial building and supermarket. In 2010, commercial building also existed in cross road, but before that in 1948 houses and local supermarket still existed. On the other hand, the features in south east side were only two buildings such as residential houses and church in 1948. However, church was altered into sport stadium over six-decade. In addition, residential houses did not experience alteration in the couple of the year. * *

Hermin, as a rule of thumb, you will increase your chances of a higher score in the TA and GRA sections of your essay if you do your best to develop your paragraphs using the 3-5 sentence rule. The longer the paragraph, the better chances you have of developing complex sentences and an impressive lexical resource that could help to boost your final score. Your opening statement could have used the increased sentence presentation, as the concluding sentence benefited from your 3 sentence presentation. Aim for a consistency when presenting comparison information. It would be best for you and the reader if you do not mix the year presentations in one paragraph. Since you were provided with two drawings to use for the comparison essay, you could have discussed each image as a separate paragraph, creating 2 body paragraphs that accurately discussed the development and changes of the drawings while also setting your essay up for a more solid concluding paragraph. The improved conclusion would have been the direct result of the more informative body of paragraphs within the essay. As is, this essay would probably garner a score of 5.

## Two Shops The map illustrates regarding to altering the Stoke village in 1930 and 2010. It can be seen that both in the western and eastern of the village had changed. In the past, 1930, the western land between the River Stoke and a long side road had dominated by Farmland and two shops. By the time, in 2010, not only a long side farmland but also two shops had removed due to erect housing. Furthermore, it is clear that expanding some little road has constructed also. On the other hand, instead of at opposite the road, there are three changes in eastern side of the road in 2010. Firstly, similar to western side, farmland which located behind the primary school had constructed into houses and expanded on the road. Secondly, the primary school had expanded on three buildings. Lastly, the large house that was located in behind garden had turned into retirement house. *

Restuan, even though you wrote a little over the 150 word requirement, it was not enough to get you a better score for this essay. That is because you failed to accomplish some expected tasks within your essay. Tasks such as an informative summary overview composed of at least 3 sentences, and the mechanical nature of the presentation shows that you just did enough work based upon the existing information. There was no analysis of the information and an effort on your part to present the information in a more personal way that shows a better understanding of the illustration you were provided. It was this type of writing that prevented you from increasing the possible final score for your essay. I don't think you can score higher than a 4 with this practice test. You need to try and apply your English comprehension and analytical skills in your writing. This will require you to better analyze the information that you are provided with and also, force you to write more complex English sentences. Both efforts, if successfully delivered on your part, will definitely result in a better score consideration for you in the actual test.

## the 'new' town The map describes of developments in an American town between 1994 and 2010. Many circumferences were changed affected by the town transformation in range of the time ranged in 62 years. Meanwhile the old buildings were replaced with a new building that is more useful. There was a huge commutation in the number of the residential houses in 1948 rebuilt into commercial buildings beneath or western areas of airport. In the opposite way of patrol station there is park located in between factories and residential houses. Southeast area settled a church which is the only one building in that area. the local supermarket located n the southwest side of the park. In 2010 the city was rebuilt, many new environments were made from the previous buildings. Church in the south area change into sport stadium and if you cross over the canal, local supermarket replaced with commercial building. When we moved to east side which separated by commercial industries the park has change into small supermarket in the west side and in the right side of it has become an airport. *

Diah, good work on the analysis of the essay. You were able to accurately use the map and the provided compass in the development of your paragraphs. I applaud you for creating a fresh sounding and less mechanical presentation of the information you were provided. You clearly did more than just take note of the obvious information. You actually bothered to create intricate connections between the changes covering the period provided. A minor mistake in your grammar though, there is an "n" where you meant to say "in". I think that was a slip of the finger on the keyboard though. Be aware of what letters you are typing and make sure to proof read your work prior to submission. You don't want to lose points on a technicality. Additionally, you did not bother to properly conclude the essay with a concluding paragraph. It would have helped to increase your score if you had done a concluding analysis of the content. A summary of the presentation that noted the most significant changes in recap would have sufficed. Your score for this essay could come in at a 6 at the most.

## Diffrences in town during years The map provides a breakdown information of American-Town Alteration between 1948 and 2010. Overall, it could be divided in two sides under consideration were in the right and left side of canal. The first image in 1948 shows that there were many residential houses between local supermarket and park. Meanwhile, factories were located beside the park, and patrol station was opposite of the road. However, in the right side of canal, church was opposite of the local supermarket. By comparison, the second map in 2010 illustrates that there was a dramatic growth in the number of commercial buildings. Local supermarket was turned into commercial buildings and it was been relocated in the middle of town. Furthermore, factories disappeared and it transformed into airport. On the other hand, in the right side of canal, the church had changed into sports stadium.There were only petrol station and residential houses which had not shifted over a 6-decade period. * *

Andi, your essay does not put all of the information that you were provided with to good use. You should have used the compass provided on the page in referring to the locations or directions of the development in the town over the indicated number of years. Since you did not use the compass, your presentation suffered in terms of accurate representation of locations within the summary report. This caused a sense of stress and confusion for the reader who was trying to analyze your work or use the summary you wrote for information. It also made the essay you wrote less informative than it should be. Remember, when you are presented with specific information in the illustrations, you must do your best to utilize the information in order to increase your overall score. The score increase will come from the complex sentences that you can possibly develop using the information provided, as well as prove that you have a good grasp of the English language through your lexical resource use. Based on these writing pitfalls that exist in this essay, I think you only possible score would be a 4.

## look of a town in different times The maps illustrate Stokeford area between 1930 and 2010. It can be seen that two sites in the eastern and western of town have different features significantly in both of two years. First of all, west side from road had many farm houses in 1930 albeit 2010 had been changed to be people houses. Local people in Stakeford can bought something at shops in front of the road in 1930, but 2010 did not because it had been altered by houses. There are also similarity between both of them that was only post office. On the other hand, the eastern part in 1930 were also farmsteads although it had changed to be houses in 2010. There were also primary school in both of the years, but this experienced expanse in the last year. Garden and larger house also were in the eastern road in 1930 though it changed to be retirement home and residential people. * *

Hermin, while your paragraphs are well representative of the illustrations provided, you did not really manage to present the most coherent and cohesive information in every paragraph. This was caused by the shortness of the paragraphs that you presented and some wrong formatting of the paragraphs. For example, in the first paragraph, you were expected to present at least 3 sentences in the overall presentation of the summary. By presenting only 2 sentences, you prevented yourself from improving your task accuracy score which would have proved that you understood the prompt requirements. All you had to do in this instance, was rephrase the instructions you were provided in order to create a proper outline for your essay. Regardless of that error, you managed to present a very interesting take on the illustrations, a presentation that would probably result in a score ranging from 4-5.

## 1930 vs 2010 in some town The maps represent of the small print at same city with two difference years. The first map interpret city in year 1930 and in another hand in 2010. For entire 8 periods Stokeford city had developed. In 1930, farmland had taken over partly of areas which filled in northern and southern areas. Many building such as a shop beside post office and large house settled at far of eastern area of post office. Time by time in 2010 witnessed a dramatic metamorphosis in the number of farmland areas eventually turned over by house in great quantities. They also eliminate the store and constructed the new buildings such as the expanded primary school and on the south side of the elementary school big house turned into a retirement home. Along with the development of many cities Stokeford has built a new service that allows easy access to the buildings they are made. *

Diah, excellent work in presenting an original take on the illustrations other than simply stating the mechanically obvious information. Your presentation shows that you analyzed the information provided and did your best to compare points of similarity and difference between the time periods. One question though, what did you mean by 8 periods in the first paragraph? If you meant to cover a period of 80 years then you should have said "80 years" or "8 generations", 8 periods is not the correct term to use in this instance as it does not make sense in the overall presentation. The excellent discussion that you delivered could garner you a score of 6 with this essay. You successfully applied your observational skills in the development of your information and presentation, which paid off in the final scoring considerations.

Topic: Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience. ## Tourism Growth Nowadays, the growth of tourism and the numbers of people traveling to other countries for their holidays have led to discuss about it has many negative effects on the places. In my view, I think that the tourism have also benefits for economies and yourself. First of all, for individual, it helps in spreading of culture. We can learn more knowledge such as: life styles, foods, experience and so on. For instance, when you go to Thailand you can discover culinary which existing and interesting, you understand what they do in everyday or traditional vacations. Moreover, you will be attractive by customs of people in this place. Secondly, the traveling with my friends make us become closer and has great time together. Specially, you have never forgotten with memories of talking photos. In contrast, It has some harmful that not only environment but also personality impacts. You waste a lot money and time preparing for journey. The addition, the solid wasting and littering influence environment pollution issue, cause the death of marine animals. All of them lead us to question "What can tourist do to increase the disadvantage effects of tourism?" You should make detail plans before you start as soft skills for communication and survival, knowledge about international law to prepare for emergency causes and the most important is journey energy of you. The next, the investor should build green resorts, environment friendly, more trash bin, encourage tourist protection and harmony with nature. The tourist should use green transportation to reduce air pollution and the noise. In summary, tourism brings benefit for people, but it still negative impacts so the governments and individuals need good ways to solve and increase effects. People have to responsible about environment for places where they want to travel.

Dat due to the fact that you were being asked to discuss the negative effects of tourism throughout the essay and you chose to discuss the positive effects of tourism, with barely a reference to the negative effects, you proved that you cannot score more than a 3 on this essay. There is a clear lack of understanding on your part when it came to the discussion requirements provided by the prompt. Your essay discussed the positive effects of tourism throughout most of the essay, which was the exact opposite of the prompt instructions. You were expected to focus on the negative effects discussion. Therefore, even though you wrote almost 300 words, the length of the essay did not help you because you failed to properly paraphrase, outline, and discuss the subject you were provided. The grammar development and presentation of the essay is also a problem since your opening statement did not provide the minimum sentence count, the second paragraph should have been divided into two paragraphs since two topics were being discussed in one paragraph, and your concluding statement did not properly represent the concluding requirements either. More importantly, when you tried to discuss the proper prompt requirement in the essay you accidentally said: *"What can tourist do to increase the disadvantage effects of tourism?"* When the correct question would have been: *"What can tourist do to decrease the disadvantageous effects of tourism?"* It does not make sense for one to wish to increase the disadvantages of tourism. Specially when the prompt focus is on how to reduce the harmful effects of tourism.

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010. **Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.** ## describing changes in stokeford The map illustrates about the changes of Stokeford village in 1930 and 2010. It can be seen that in 1930, there was some farmland areas in the east and west of the main road, but the condition turned into housing estates in 2010. The first location of village changes was in the west of the main road. In 1930, there was a river stroke in the western village, which run from the south west to the north east of village. This river still existed in 2010 with the same location. Between river and main road, there were large farmland areas in the south of post office, but it has been changed into houses. Also, in the north site of post office, there were shops that close the office in 1930, but these buildings were turned into houses and small road in 2010. The village changes also occurred in the east of the main road. There was a small primary school in front of post office and it was expanded in 2010. In the south of school, there were a house, gardens, and a large house. The garden became housing estates and it developed along the main road, also the large house had been expanded into a retirement house. In the north of school, the farmland areas had been changed into houses and there was also a small road in 2010. *

Septi, you can probably get a score of 5 with this essay. The essay could use some less mechanical approach to the presentation by appropriately presenting the comparison information. You did well by dividing the comparison into areas based upon the old and new land divisions. However, you tended to confuse the presentation because you merged the information for 1930 and 2010 during some points. It is always best to indicate the year you are discussing at the beginning of the paragraph and then, present the next year before you present the new set of information, still within the same paragraph. Don't leave it for the end. It is important to mention the year first so that the reader can keep track of what information is being presented within the paragraph. You did some pretty good analysis on this essay. However, the comparisons were affected by the problematic presentation. Don't worry though, you were accurate enough in the presentation that the information was somehow, still understandable by the reader.

*Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers* ## Youth Wrong Path Youths are the building blocks of any developing nation. However, recently it is observed that infants are committing many crimes. Psychology professionals claim that it is due to the lack of parenting and teaching effect. In my opinion, I completely agree with the argument and I will explain this in my essay. Firstly, Parents are so busy in their life today that they are not giving focus on their children. This is because, they have found the alternative for parenting in the form of day care and due to this, the children's are not getting proper care and etiquettes when they are growing up. As a result, they didn't attach much with their parents and comes in the contacts of cheap people, who do a crime like pick pocketing, bullying people for money, which leads them to commit crimes too. For instance, children's of both working parents are less groomed than comparing to those who have their single parent working. This problem can be resolved if one of the members in families takes responsibility to take care of their child and keep an eye on their activities. Secondly, Teachers also plays a vital role in grooming up children. Nevertheless, they also seem to do teaching just for sake of job. Therefore, students are not getting the proper knowledge and guidance which will help them to build a prosperous career. As a consequence of this, they are bunking schools and making contacts with the people who encourage them to do antisocial activities which are not only harmful to the society but also for the future of that individual. For example, In Pakistan, many children are quitting schools and getting trained in ISIS camps which lead them to become a Terrorist. And To prevent the youths from deviating their paths, teachers should guide them and teach them the knowledge which is helpful in growing them up. In conclusion, it is undeniable that today youths are following the wrong path due to lack of parenting and teaching. However, these problems are not insurmountable strict steps from their guardians and mentors can help them to protect their future.

Mayank, the first thing that struck me in your opening statement is the mistake in your term usage. You used the term infant to describe the juvenile offenders. Since an infant is aged 0-2 years old, there is absolutely no way these children can do the sort of crimes implicated in the prompt. This mistake in your use of lexical terms will cost you a tremendous deduction in lexical resource points. This shows a clear lack of understanding of English terms and the inability to use the term properly. While the rest of your essay supports your agreement with the prompt, this glaring lexical mistake, along with the problematic grammar and sentence development will result in this essay possible getting a score of 5. While your line of reasoning shows promise, the two problem points held back the possible higher score of your essay.

## Part of history of an American town The map gives us the information about the different condition American town in 1948 and 2010. It can be seen, that almost the entire town had been changed so far, just a little area that still on the same condition over decades. There was a major shift in the northeastern of the town. Overall the area was not like it used to be. The number of factories had disappeared and turned into a commercial building and the airport. In the near of eastern area, the big field opposite right to the petrol station had taken over by the supermarket. In the western side, local supermarket and residential house were became commercial buildings. In the eastern side, the residential house remained on the same condition and there was not changed of amount at all. For the southwestern side, the major transformation that could see in the future was a church shifted with the sport stadium.

Antasena, you are required to post the image along with your essay for all your posts so that we can have a comparison point for your summary essay. It would seem though that you were able to summarize the image to a certain extent in the proper manner. However, the 154 word count doesn't help to establish the grammar range and accuracy of your work due to its brevity. For this type of essay, you must aim to write a maximum of 200 words in order to gain a higher score overall. Your paragraphs often fall short of the 3 sentence minimum requirement. This is why your essay seems to not fully inform the reader and offer a more complete analysis of the image your were provided for the essay. Do your best to create comparison points whenever possible and also, add a more personal touch to your writing so that you do not seem like you are merely rattling off the information as indicated. Such efforts will result in a higher GRA score on your part as well as an increased score possibility in the TA section.

## Review of changes in an American town The maps illustrate regarding to comparing the alteration of American town in 1948 and 2010. It can be seen that both left side and right side of the canal had changed since commercial sector. In the past, there was enormous number factories, residential, garden and local supermarket setting up at the left side of the canal which is replaceable. In 2010, however, almost these sectors have rebuilt into a specific function such as commercial building were replace from local supermarket. Also, Airport was constructed by replacing several factories. Besides, the garden in which a side part of factory was turned into the supermarket. Finally, commercial building opposite road was erected by replacing residential and local supermarket. On the other hand, at the right side of the canal. There was a slight alteration of buildings in 2010. Only church which is located in a corner side canal and road has replaced on sports stadium. Henceforth, the number of residential houses all remained stable * *1st Pic* * *2nd Pic*

Restuan, the comparison summary essay should have been divided into sectors that represent each sector of the 1948 and 2010 era spaces. That way you could have done a comparison of how each part had changed over time. You have to work harder on developing a summary sentence because the one that you wrote for this essay is very confusing and does not really reflect the kind of summary overview that the graph provides. Your essay should be composed of at least 4 paragraphs in order to possibly gain a better score. Your longest paragraph is paragraph 2. There must be a uniformity in the length of your paragraphs. Each should have at least 3 sentences in and a maximum of 5. The way you wrote your essay is inconsistent with the requirements of a task 1 essay. Both your opening summary and concluding presentation are faulty and short of the required elements. As such, you cannot expect to get a score that represents your actual abilities. The score that best represents your abilities in this essay is a 4.

*Q. Women who do not plan to have careers do not need post-grad degrees, and thus they should not be allowed to attend such higher eduction courses. To what extend do you agree or disagree.* ## Women Have The Right To Choose (for over a century now) It cannot be denied that the opportunities to learn the desired subjects have been equal for both women and men in these days, but some critics complaint that attending further education courses should not be allowed for women who have decided not to have careers. However, in my opinion, I am convinced that every woman has the right to do what she believes. To start with, some people claim that permitting women who have no plan to have careers to get a post-grad degree is not an acceptable idea. The first reason for the concern is waste of time and money. Nowadays, the education costs are really high and it takes at least one year to finish a post-grad degree; then what is the reason of spending the precious time and money for a degree which would not be used in their lives. Moreover, it would be the burden to the women and their families as the former have to take care of the families and so the lessons. Another point is that in some culture, many old fashioned people believe that the child raring and household works are only for women as they are considered as second-class citizens, consequently, some women give up their ambition to attend post-grad courses because of the fact that their family members force them to. Nonetheless, it is my contention that respecting one's freedom of choice is the most important for human beings. In other words, one is entitled to be treated equally without discrimination. Each and every mature and sound person has the privilege to decide one's own destiny as in the 21st century, gender equality and human right are the one factor that indicates the value of being a human. In addition, letting women to continue their higher education would be at least a small action to narrow gender inequality because education is for everyone regardless of gender, race and religion. Generally, women who have high education level have high self-esteem and self-confidence so that they can keep abreast with men even they have no careers. Being highly educated wives can help their husbands by giving advises related with the latter's works. To conclude, although it is arguable that whether women who would have no careers should be allowed for post-grad degrees or not, I am of the view that women have the right to choose and plan for their lives. Therefore, acknowledging women as human beings not second-class citizens would be the best for women rather giving judgements about them.

Phone, your opening paragraph was almost perfect. Almost perfect because you dropped the ball in the last sentence. You should have completed the presentation of the opinion by saying that you are convinced that every woman has a right to do what she believes, when it comes to her education and that includes attending graduate school. The opinion that you stated was incomplete as it did not accurately address the prompt topic. You were off course by just a very little that it saddened me to see such a slip up on your part. Your arguments are obviously coming from a very personal place and reflects your strong conviction regarding the matter. This is truly one of the better developed essay discussions on this forum, regardless of the grammar problems. In fact, those grammar issues are so negligible that I am not hesitating to score this essay a 6 based upon the strength of your developed arguments. It would have been a 7 if you had just given a more proper opening statement and a better developed conclusion. The problem with your conclusion is the presentation of additional information regarding women instead of simply summarizing and concluding the essay. You have to remember that the closing statement can never be used to present new information as that requires additional discussion that will not allow you to properly close the discussion you have presented.

## Financial Aid - What Types of Schools? Current reports in the local area shows that nearly 80% of the general school equipment has been downgraded. As the result of which, parents start to be worried about their offspring and complain the local authorities. At the end of discussion, the dignities made a decision about the innovation of educational facilities. Classroom technology is a worthy recommendation. It is believed that using advance gadgets will motivate learners effectively, especially for who are majoring in informative technology. Moreover, teachers, nowadays, are in proficiency of utilizing modern instruments such as laptops, i pads and so forth to prepare their lesson plans. Unequipped projectors and electronic teaching tools will not only waste of time and money but also raise breathing problems for lecturers and pupils when using chalks or markers for a long time. The priority for renovation, however, should be to restore libraries. Researching outside classroom and taking time to read references are essential to learners, therefore, enriching libraries with filtered materials will aid them a lot. Although some people claim that why students have to need books when Internet is always available, the others says many brand-new specialized materials are not updated on network. In addition, most of educational institutions are nursery and primary premises whose pupils there can't use computers and Internet well and are easily distracted by cartoons, games and so on. Both would be beneficial and necessary to enhance, but reading store would also be advantageous because there are still learners outside who only concentrate when keeping a book in hand rather than an e-book.

Dang, the entire premise of the essay is not clearly presented in the opening statement. The topic for discussion seems to be presented however, there is no clear outline as to what the expected successive discussions were supposed to be about. Is this an opinion essay, a comparison essay, or an argumentative essay? The reader is coming into this essay with incomplete information and without forewarning as to what discussions are to follow. Therefore, the essay does not follow the correct format requirement. In any type of essay that you write, for any sort of English exam, the one constant is that the opening statement needs to present the following information: 1. The topic for discussion. 2. The reason for the discussion. 3. The kind of discussion that is to follow. When any of these three basic opening statement features does not get included in your presentation, the essay fails to properly address the task requirements and information presentation. So the essay becomes weak and confusing the reader. While your reasons are understandable to a certain degree, I do not understand why this topic is important for discussion and why it is being discussed this way. The score will not be so good for this essay overall in an actual test setting.

*"Biodiversity importance is being more widely recognized as increasing the numbers of species under threat"* ## What can be done to maintain biodiversity? Biodiversity importance is being more widely recognized as increasing the numbers of species under threat. How to protect them is the scope of the many campaigns in order to protect and increase their presence much more. Solutions must be suggested in order to establish and help preserveincreasing the biodiversity. In this essay I'll argue some suggestions introduced. In a way to protect the already present rare species either animal or plants we need to launch more campaigns that would take care in increasing awareness about the threat coming of losing such species. As young kids being new to such concept and may not know what's the importance of biodiversity to their future life, it's quite needed to discuss the importance of biodiversity to their future planet in their lessons; going to camps and let them know about these plants and animals threatened more closer. However people may disagree that getting deep in such subject in their children lesson as it's considered a waste of time and more important subject need to be discussed. Other solutions suggested is by provide a major protection for animals as being an important part of biodiversity. One way suggested is by building natural open zoos where they can live and reproduce naturally simulating their original occurring habitats. These zoos must be protected against hunting, no people can live there as it may contain dangerous animals to be lived with. Moreover, a specialized units in nursery and doctors must present. This can be done for plants in the same manner as having them in unique agricultural media where they can be protected and reproduced without any external threat. At the end, these suggestions should be considered as preserving biodiversity is essential to keep this planet works normally as it used to before our presence. On the other hand, we don't see that attention given to such important topic instead we see a careless acts and negligence from both government and people toward keeping what's destroyed before. More attention must be given and more acts must be organized to have a healthier planet.

Sabrena, the prompt discussion and instructions are not clear in your opening statement. The outline for discussion is not logically presented. Additionally, you are not arguing in this essay but rather, presenting ideas. Therefore to say that your essay will "argue suggestions" creates a conflict. A suggestion cannot be argued because an argument indicates a disagreement on at least two sides of the discussion which, in this case, doesn't exist as you did not mention any conflicting sides in your opening statement. Make it a habit to only present one idea for discussion per paragraph. That is because you only have 5 sentences at the most with which to discuss your reasons. Presenting a second idea within the same paragraph is not possible as you will be unable to fully develop your reasons for that discussion. More importantly, please make sure that you do not deviate from the prompt requirement, as you did in the second paragraph, by presenting a secondary, unrelated topic for discussion. The rest of your argument seems to be acceptable and allows for a logical flow of thought. While the grammar is problematic, your discussion is not so blurred that the reader will not be able to understand what you are saying. The discussion is acceptable and understandable.

## ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY. Currently we are frequently seeing an announcement or news regarding the renewable energy of nuclear technology either in the TV media or in newspaper. Although this power bring about plenty of drawbacks in particular to people live and environment. However, this also has benefits to human life for a long time due to the fact that it has declined a waste of natural resources. There are several reasons why nuclear technology is really worthwhile for humans life. Firstly, fossil fuel like oil and gas are running out at this present time, instead of this, nuclear is able to replace this energy. Taking an example, according to the specialist, this power could be replace the use of natural resources such as coal, oil, and gas. Another reason is that they could help to reduce carbon emission and green house effect which accounts for global warming. Furthermore, these are the merits of nuclear technology that tremendously integral to human life. However, this power also has many negative impact neither on the environment nor human life. Refers to the investigation of Observer, people are worried that terrorist could steal these radioactive materials and uses it in a wrong ways. Moreover, there is no way to decontaminate this radioactive material up to now. At last, it is important to note that it's more safety to generate energy from solar, wind or water power instead of utilize nuclear. To conclude, despite the fact that nuclear technology bring some benefits for human. However, it also has many disadvantages for human and environment.

Ahmad, I am afraid that although you wrote a little more than 250 words, the essay that you developed was so improperly discussed that you cannot get a passing score for this essay. The only possible score for this would be a 3 based on a number of reasons. Please take note of these observations and apply the suggested changes to your future practice tests. First of all, there is a clear misunderstanding of the prompt requirement. The original prompt for this required you to take a stand either in agreement or disagreement with the point of view tha*t "The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages."* Since you improperly represented the prompt paraphrasing, you immediately failed the task accuracy portion of the test. It should not be difficult to get a better score in the TA portion. All you have to do is write your paraphrased prompt and then immediately compare it with the original prompt. If your prompt does not follow the original format, then your paraphrasing is wrong. The second problem with your essay is that you did not take a clear stand in agreement or disagreement with the prompt. This should have been represented in the paraphrased opening statement as a part of the discussion outline. You instead referred to research sources, which were not clearly identified as such in the essay. This caused another failure on your part in terms of task accuracy. The third problem, is that your grammar range and accuracy is highly problematic. While it is possible to make sense out of what you have written, its presentation could use some improvement. The reader might decide to stop reading your work simply because of the grammatical errors that you have in the essay. Try to use simple sentences that depict a clean English sentence instead of trying to be complex and causing the reader undue stress. Finally, your conclusion is too short. It has to be made longer, at least 3 sentences in order to properly wrap up the discussion by presenting an updated summary of the previous information presented. If you work on improving all of these points in your next essay, you should manage too show some improvement and perhaps, a slight increase in your score as well.

**Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?** ## Railroads and Highway Budgets Some people believe that it is a pity if governments spend their budget on improving railways instead of roads as travelling by train is not faster and convenient than driving on our own private vehicle. In my judgement, I personally agree that governments should expenditure more money on railways. There are two reasons for my perspective on this. To commence with, railways offer safe commutation for both traders and inhabitants. The reason explains to this safety is that trains can carry numerous passengers and packages on their own railroad, which trigger it to be more securer than road. Additionally, the annual percentage of death level from driving on the road recorded is always higher than that from train. As the result, the safety factor should to be put on top of people's choice when commuting. Equally important, rails predispose less damage to environment due to its less consumption in energy. That car, bus, motorbike and many vehicle are the main factor emit a ton of CO2 into the atmosphere annually, which can compares to the inconsiderable amount of train's emission. For instance, the fact that Singapore is one of the most cleanest country owing to its famous train networking called MRT, which encourages that nation's citizens to use less their private vehicles. Consequently, Singapore is free from not only air pollution but also congestion. In conclusion, railways offers more benefits to us than roads but the government should take how much they will invest money on rails into account. Besides, they also have certain money on road to ameliorate road standard.

Khoa, you can actually score a 5 with this essay. The strongest part of your essay was your properly developed paraphrasing and opinion statement at the beginning. This good paragraph earned you a pretty decent score in the Task Accuracy portion of the test. It showed a clear understanding of the instructions and also added a unique outline touch by indicating that you will be discussing the reasons supporting your opinion. While the major discussion points had imperfect grammar, there was a clear sense of what you were trying to explain to your reader. However, there were times, such as in the second to the last paragraph when the essay lost focus and thought organization resulting in a lack of overall progression in the discussion. Try to discuss only one reason at a time and do not introduce new information within the same paragraph. A single presentation per paragraph always allows for the best discussion development as the focus of the reader is concentrated on one reason alone. This also allows you to better explain yourself and develop a stronger English presentation. The conclusion was problematic though because it fell short of the required paragraph number (3) and tried to present underdeveloped new ideas as additional discussion points instead of just concluding the essay by using the expected method of a discussion summation and concluding presentation. Anyway, you still did good work since you developed over 260 words for the essay. Way over the 250 minimum requirement. Remember though, each paragraph needs at least 3 sentences to qualify as an academic paragraph. You fell short of that requirement once in this essay.