Taranosaurus/bash-org-archive.com · Datasets at Hugging Face

qid stringlengths 2 7	score stringlengths 1 5	quote stringlengths 14 6.99k
#55664	191	<Andaru> I don't have any porno <Andaru> I don't particularly like porno either <LuCiPh33R> you're on the internet and you don't like porn?
#55776	-319	<hobojackson> i was walking around and saw a car going really fast <hobojackson> SO I SAID WOW THAT CAR MUST HAVE 1024 MB OF DDR SD RAM AND A 256 MEG VIDEO CARD AND A 3 GIGAHERTZ HARD DRIVE AHAHHA AH AHAA AHAHAHHA <spongebob> OMG YOU CONFUSED COMPUTERS WITH REAL LIFE <spongebob> THATS THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER HEARd!!!!!!!!!
#55718	228	<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or solve world hunger
#806884	1771	<Geologist[afkr]> knock knock <thebigmike1983[FARK]> who's there? <Geologist[afkr]> 9/11 <thebigmike1983[FARK]> 9/11 who? <Geologist[afkr]> YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
#55626	442	<[Ars]Michael> is there any way to make a noise when u get a pm <[Ars]Mikoyan> you could grunt in pleasure
#55651	13	<Renegade\|> ops please <Renegade\|> why won't the bots remember that i have ops <MatzeRX> u like keep changing ur IP or summit ? <Renegade\|> no <MatzeRX> cable or dial up? <Renegade\|> dial up
#55721	27	<Anthony> identical twins? <sHyGuY> tis true. <Kagome> we're faternal <Kagome> thank GOD <Anthony> FATernal?
#55775	255	Iride4mosh » no doing gay stuff while im gone ya hear polkaisrad » dont wanna miss out huh? Iride4mosh » shut up man...
#55653	246	<Boned> ever watched scrambled porn only to learn 5 mins later that its two guys?
#55774	39	* ZoMbIeGuY has joined #finalfight <Xerox> It's a zombie! Aim for the head, guys! <ZoMbIeGuY> =( * ToastyGhost knocks ZoMbIeGuY unconscious <Nimduin> ...Wow, he's either AzN or StUpId. <ToastyGhost> Just an AOL'r <ZoMbIeGuY> Uhh... I'm outter here. <ZoMbIeGuY> goodbye. * ToastyGhost cheers <Nimduin> That, or he's Fake President Deling. <TedAran> Ha * ZoMbIeGuY has quit IRC (Quit: )
#55599	267	<freshbob> man, this banana is huge <freshbob> i don't think bananas this big are natural <freshbob> they must be genetically engineered or something <manna> dude, it's not natural, but you have to give your ass a chance to relax
#55594	204	<Jeeeeebus> eg: I was in a doorway with my arm across it resting .. and he walks thru and goes "minimize, please" without even thinking bout it.. <RnRcneHHlt> hahahahahahahahahahaha <Jeeeeebus> I wish I could do that..
#55621	218	<Sentenced4Life> Im from ohio..w00t w00r <int0x6h> that would explain the handle right?
#806948	614	bmp: I'm a strangulation risk bmp: recall me lord: contains small parts lord: keep away from children (for other reasons) bmp: :<
#55591	278	[+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :) [Si\|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then
#55602	21	<Morstis> The oath of celibacy in the church only means the priest can secretly sodomize young boys instead of having open intercourse with women.
#55615	-90	<Ultra_Violet> Xero: I want to fuck your lesbian grand-mother with a dirty wooden spoon
#55614	370	<SonicBlues> man, don't shove vibrators up your ass if your a guy man. I was trying to milk my prostate y'know, damnit, I guess the vibrator was too much for me. <SonicBlues> get this, i slide the dildo up my but, smothered with ky jelly yeah? I flip it on, and I start stroking. <DrQ> this cant end up well.... <SonicBlues> now, i'm in front of a TV, about 3.5 meters away from me, compensate about .25 meters for the diagonal. But man, i start strokng, and maybe 8 minutes later, i get this surging pain from my nuts and i shoot the silver bullet all the way to the tv man. christ. <DrQ> conrgatulations <Thrifty> Hahahahah holy shit man <SonicBlues> yeah, the problem is, I came onto irc to tell you all, my girlfriend stepped in...
#55593	-20	<IAmKingBrad> you know, having an opera singer rape you is much like eating a biscuit, except with eating a biscuit you do not have a cock in your ass unless you live at my uncle's house and am my cousin HAHA
#55608	11	[BR00D] haha i gave up on irc, and came back just to harass you :D
#55592	14	<@freshmint> [22:44] Amber: but shooosh I didnt tell u that <@freshmint> [22:44] Amber: hehe ok? <@freshmint> oops. <Spudsta> this, coming from the chick with a metaphorical cock
#55565	1102	<Rav3n> my gf is only 2 years old and my parents are fuming. <Rav3n> older
#55569	181	<thezinner> I've yet to find a women with the right MD5sum :)
#55572	279	<Kasugai> matthias_: You could get a job at Google telling their tech dept. what they are doing wrong! <matthias_> for one they still haven't got a mind-reader interface going <Kasugai> I hear they are still trying to implement safe search filtering on that one <Kasugai> Otherwise you get pr0n popping up every 8 seconds.
#806855	2146	<Anonymous> Last night, Helen and I were sitting in the living room, and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer. <Anonymous> She's such a bitch.
#55568	617	<vocalizedWHORE> mmm, c++ <vocalizedWHORE> do.this(); <vocalizedWHORE> do.that(); <vocalizedWHORE> if (error) <vocalizedWHORE> blame(microsoft);
#55567	217	<Perma> The first time you ever meet a chick, you have to slap her, just back hand the girl as hard as you can, like that, you'll never worry about that chick telling you "You never treat me the was you used too". <Perma> Got that? <rob> what if she likes getting smacked around <Perma> Even better
#55570	201	<LLyric> How do I break out of an infinite loop on a c64? It's been sooo long. <MaggieL> Unplug it.
#55566	588	Session Start: Thu Dec 12 21:34:30 2002 <burzzzzzz> 23:56:55 <burzzzzzz> 3 more mins !! :D <cystum> till what? <burzzzzzz> i can drive on my own <burzzzzzz> 00:00:01 <burzzzzzz> !!!! <milolilo> you're free! <burzzzzzz> <-- officialy a driver !! :D Session Start: Sat Dec 14 19:38:29 2002 <burzzzzzz> i had a little disagreement with cement pilar while looking for a place to park my car :/
#55590	145	[+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :) [{Ogre}Si\|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then
#55571	1693	<Pepe> there are 2 kids in the fourth grade, one white and one black, which one has the bigger dick <L@cky> the black one <Pepe> why? <L@cky> cuz hes black dipshit <Pepe> no fuckface, the nigger's 25! <Nostradom> Dude, stop making fun of black people. <Nostradom> Seriously, I used to have a really good black friend. <L@cky> used to? <Nostradom> money was short...we had to sell him
#55573	113	<merle> damn it, i cant figure out what is taking up so much room on my hdd <scott-> probably gay porn you renamed and hid a long time ago
#55468	172	* DRagon87 flips quarter <DRagon87> heads <Squirl> is heads the bottom?
#55481	159	lope767: watch out man lope767: she'll eat u hole lope767: err lope767: whole FKing Windows: I was sort of hoping for both.
#55559	648	[Video`] The future of tech support isn't changing at all. [Video`] I was in this class of tech support people. [Video`] I took a screenshot of the desktop [Video`] Made it the background [Video`] And moved all the icons [Video`] And they were confused as hell :
#608100	13117	<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar <cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke <cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet <cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied <emoti_conartist> lol <cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy <cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open <cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit <emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha <cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM <cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first' <cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face <cassius_clay13> and runs away <cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
#806949	736	<Ryou> 360's are great but their hardware quality is pretty lol <Kuraineko> it's called 360 because of the trip it takes <Kuraineko> from microsoft, to you, back to microsoft, to you again
#55500	107	<Ken> Massages are pretty healthy for you. <Ken> It's a form of preventive medicine <KageGamer> what about the massages that like the little japanese girl walks on your back <KageGamer> what if she has long nails on her toes <KageGamer> wouldnt that hurt? DannoHung> In mother russia, YOU walk on little Japanese girl!
#55564	210	(During another round of mega splits on DALnet) <Guest51394> how do u get into the servers? <priz> you can't. <priz> if you walked into a McDonalds when the kitchen was on fire, do you think they'd take your order?
#55495	1806	<zealous> I was walking to the mobil gas station this morning to get my ride to work as I do every morning (weekdays anyway) when I decided that instead of walking the long way around I would just jump the little wall (about 3 feet high) and get there quicker, well when I went to jump the wall I started off with my left foot instead of my right like I usually do and I didn't bring my foot up quick enough thus catching the wall and sending me face first <zealous> into the ground but somehow I managed to do some wild ninja tuck and roll things ending up on my feet and staring at some guy who was quite bugged eyed so I just raised my arms in a "v" and yelled hazah at the top of my lungs
#55514	171	<bbraun> do you think that when thoreau urged us to simplify our lives, he meant going to serial terminals?
#55524	460	<pairo> you know you're doomed when you have to whois your domain registrar ID to find out your own phone number
#55512	538	<Oriden> you have lens crafters in canada? <EV3> yup yup <Gregg\|WaitingForUO> no <Gregg\|WaitingForUO> we just leave our visually impaired to die. <Gregg\|WaitingForUO> get hit by cars and stuff
#55503	194	<gofer-chan> ...Exo, can I still keep my channel? Or is that like impersonating you or something? <gofer-chan> Because if you want, I'll change the name. <Exophase> gofer; You can keep the channel :p <gofer-chan> Yay! <Exophase> gofer; It's not impersonating me to have a channel called "#exophase", because no one is gonna walk into the channel and go "gasp, I'm sitting inside Exophase!"
#55372	254	<AnTrAaXx> wb Dark <Dark\|Lord> wow.. I've been disconnected for 9 hours, and you've been here long enough to gimme wb? :)
#55443	148	<APE_> warezing is like wanking, everyone does it but u dont talk about it
#55380	644	<Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a preview DVD of apparently quite a lot of their games. I have no DVD player. I do, however, have a PS2. CAN ANYONE SEE THE IRONY HERE!?
#806846	189	<makfu> So CaNaBiS, you totally walked into the bathroom and some dood was washing his pants?! <CaNaBiS> makfu, yeah, it was in the public restroom <CaNaBiS> he was naked in front of the sink washing his shit stained pants <CaNaBiS> with no shoes on <naphtali> You should have asked him for some change for the soda machine
#55456	68	<Maddie46> Abs I have tried warez and its confusing <dotcomlarry> yeah, version 1.0 was hard.
#55417	23	<Jiggs> Can anyone tell me the correct syntax for using "! list" for getting the server info?
#55365	414	<daenonok> not unless you wanna get rodney king'd <daenonok> nerd style <R4g3^o^M4g3> I've seen it before. <R4g3^o^M4g3> Plastic keyboard wrist-rests and optical mice...it ain't pretty. <R4g3^o^M4g3> According to the police report "Six geeks who wish to remain unnamed mauled a defenseless jock in a birrage of girly punches and kicks, while repeating a (believed to be satanic) chant; '0wn3d d00d!"
#55358	28	<garyttu> Dude you are not going to believe this... I played golf with my dad today and put my cell phone in my golf bag....well I started to play like ass and took a nine iron to the side of my bag....OOPS!!!!! <banshee> Do i need to explain what a dumb ass you are??? LOLOLOL <garyttu> yeah- it was so funny but at the same time I am sooo pissed at myself <banshee> That is one of those things... where after you do it... you just know... that it was fate telling you to stop acting like a jack ass...
#55438	501	<Guest> how big is the internet? <xmaddness> Well if you go too far you'll fall off the end of it. <Guest> really? <xmaddness> Yep, some people call it IRC
#55463	346	<sean> wow <sean> that fart was gross <sean> sounded like an elephant got shot
#55453	194	<N1k1tA> i can blow a perfect 2600hz pitch with my ass <Nab> heh <N1k1tA> the goatse man is not gay, he is a phreaker
#55341	835	<whiskers> wtf <whiskers> my sister just called me from her room <whiskers> told me to turn down the music <Spyder\|TV> crank it <torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT <Kinuvan> CRANK IT whiskers turns up the music <whiskers>i hear steps ** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)
#55328	281	<Steve> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/12/14/ korea.nukes/index.html <Jsangspar> I swear to god, CNN and the government are making everything up <Jsangspar> and it's starting to fall apart <Jsangspar> 'The Yongbyon nuclear facility in North Korea. Pyongyang says it will restart the nuclear reactor there ' <Jsangspar> "YONGBYON"? "PYONGYANG"? Now they're just making fun of asian people <Steve> "Neighbor and potential threat FLIEDLICE has threatened to destroy any troops coming through their territory, be it from the western YELLOWSKIN or the east's SLANTEYEBASTIDS." <Jsangspar> gahahah
#55337	125	<hajjs> a floppy just got stuck in the computer <hajjs> htf do i get it out? <Puppet-Master> force? <hajjs> i sprayed hand lotion onto it <hajjs> it got out.... but didn't look pretty
#805764	636	RetroKid27: Asians know how to haggle RetroKid27: it's in their blood Cool4freeReturns: yeah, we do Cool4freeReturns: our slanty eyes give us the ability to see the real prices
#55187	360	impOrted megAmi: life does suck, ya know. i mean, at the bad parts, naturally. JimBob4554: words of wisdom JimBob4554: "life sucks when its bad"
#55280	340	<@WoWMaN\\> this girl put her finger up my ass once <@WoWMaN\\> I dont wonna sound gay , but it was the best feeling i ever had ! <@Bart\\> dude , that wasnt a girl <@Bart\\> And it wasnt my finger either
#55178	382	<#C++:Luggage_> guy in the #vb channel thinks vb is too hard.. so wants to learn assembly.. i advised him against it, but he thinks it looks easy "nice small words"
#55231	369	<SO\|Razor> treize do you believe in other intelligent life? <SO\|Treize> in the universe? <SO\|Treize> or on forums? <SO\|Razor> .............
#55220	96	<WTM2K> what if i sodomized a priest while the priest is sodomizing an altar boy, WHILE the altar boy is sodomizing a blind 3-legged kitten? <Meatball> then you tape it and sell it on the black market <Gentleman> yes <[N]> yes tape it <Gentleman> that is hell material <Livewireo> Only if the kitten was dead
#55229	325	* motionz climbs up the statue of liberty <motionz> .... <c-rOCK> JUMP COCKSUCKER <threeve> jeez what did motionz do <Video`> Do it, pussy. <motionz> if that's how you all feel *** motionz was kicked by c-rOCK (BIG WIND!)
#55095	271	* Cheez is now known as rwxr-xr-x <MudBlud> ./Cheez
#55020	224	<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching.
#55128	28	<The_Atari> I also hear they're making a Back to the Future 4 <[-FcG-]aawis> he goes back in time to fix his parkinsons desease
#806380	1281	<Zoso> So me and my friend applied to the same electronics position in a store (think like Best Buy) <Zoso> And he got the job even though he knows next to nothing about any of the games or hardware or anything <Zoso> All because he looks more "presentable" <Zoso> And at this store, your first couple of call-in help questions are done with the supervisor of your department <Zoso> So last week, in the morning, i told him just some bullshit information...and I called in that day (with my voice disguised) to ask him about it <Zoso> "Hello. I recently bought a 250GB external hard-drive...and while it's not very heavy now, I was wondering how much it will weigh when it's full." <Zoso> The idiot responds with "Oh, don't worry sir, it's just a few pounds more." <Zoso> ...so the supervisor hears the conversation... <Zoso> And the stupid fucker got fired *Zoso is away: filling out application...again
#55034	579	<Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc." <Dilbert> investors* <Dilbert> i meant
#55091	273	<@Megaman> All your base are belong to us * Arrow sets mode: +b !Donnyku@* * Megaman was kicked by Arrow (That joke is now 2 years, 6 months, 8 days, 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Let it die.)
#54978	241	<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo
#55167	1251	(@Li-Sonder) i'm going to build a castle from the empty soda cans on my desk (@Li-Sonder) and declare myself king of this desk (@Li-Sonder) and rule it with an iron fist (@Li-Sonder) and make all the ants pay taxes (@Li-Infinite) wow (@Li-Infinite) you got way too much time on your hand. (@Li-Sonder) you mean my iron fist.
#55155	332	<[Piratez]> I think i'm allergic to porn, everytime I look at porn my cock swells.
#54993	254	:: join #bitchx :: desane (desane@if.I.were.a.perl.script.would.you.love.fork.ing.me.uk) :: mode #bitchx :: (+b !@...........) by pheret :: kick #bitchx :: pheret kicked desane (banned: If you match this, you have a lame host.)
#55170	102	<KevinIsOwn> An IRC user having sex with someone hot? <KevinIsOwn> What is the world coming to <RX> good things kevin <KevinIsOwn> Yes... VERY good things :D
#54933	234	*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to <Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art. <Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to hentai" :)? <Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :]
#54935	161	<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> Deos anyone know where i can host a site that supports ASP for free? <ApoIIyon> insecurehosts.com <^{[Dr-Dre]}^> ok thanks
#54794	199	<ChuckD> so i got a massive summer sausage today <ChuckD> what happened <ChuckD> is i was talking about summer sausage <ChuckD> and my friend said "i can bring ya summer sausage! i have tons!" <ChuckD> i thought he was joking <ChuckD> sure enough, he shows up with a massive summer sausage <ChuckD> people looked at me funny <ChuckD> i was carrying around a summer sausage, after all <Dancer_the_Reindeer> or were you just happy to see them?
#805000	610	<Quadlex> sparc: One of my mates works for a porn company and is keeping an ear open for vacancies <moreon> Quadlex: I wouldn't hold my breath on that. I bet they plug every hole they find pretty quickly.
#54793	230	(rooster): So, are you hard at work (rooster): or (rooster): HARD, at work
#54914	442	[Video] I've been watching the warez scene for like two months. [Video] Nothing is worth DOWNLOADING [Video] That's sad [Ouija] i know [Video] Is that their new anti-piracy technique? [Video] Release shit no one wants?
#54940	24	zolex: do you call tabbaco a drug? crummy: yes crummy: of course its a drug zolex: its a plant, its not a drug you idiot.
#54838	621	<Dekkon> SHE HAS DSL <Killrbyte> Digital Subscriber Line? <nyisles> is it from Speakeasy? <Killrbyte> Tell her to get cable. Its faster. <Dekkon> DICK SUCKING LIPS <Dekkon> DAMN NERDS
#54802	234	<tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever seen <Frostlion> no it'sn't <tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling
#54809	336	<SpookyD> if ppl saw what was on my screen right now they would be shocked and disgusted ;) <DanJ> SpookyD: So get some tissues and clean it
#54801	8	<NIH> Dec 12 1917 <NIH> The worst train wreck in history, leaving 543 Frenchmen dead. <NIH> Worst... or best?
#54760	464	<DarkLich> DarkLich had his first homosexual encounter =( <DarkLich> It was horrid. I'm not 100% straight. <DarkLich> NOW <DarkLich> NOW. I said NOW 100% straight.
#54791	193	<GregMoore> -v raxor <GregMoore> FUCK <GregMoore> lol <GregMoore> -ox raxor <GregMoore> -o raxor <GregMoore> HOW DO I FUCK YOU OVER!
#54757	282	<TrouT> anyone know what this means: <TrouT> python2.1: can't open file '/usr/local/sbin/ RegisterVh3Service' <+toad-> I think python2.1 can't open the file /usr/local/sbin /RegisterVh3Service
#805156	1302	<TomRiddle> Nothing a couple of hands around her neck can't fix <Tine`> lol <Tine`> good luck <Tine`> I got knivs <Tine`> knjives <Tine`> knives <TomRiddle> Are you typing with them?
#54742	271	<kleitin> where are u guys from? <Hyperbyte> I am from the Netherlands <kleitin> netherlands is in usa ?
#54582	272	<Throttle> man, farting in the shower kinda kills that whole clean feeling u get
#54729	353	<Jessica> lol my grandpa has gay dogs Lol <Jessica> he has two big dogs and they are both boys and they were umm lol <Anthony> I SAW! <Anthony> that's sick <Anthony> heh <Jessica> my day was boring <Anthony> not that boring if you saw gay dogs! heh <Jessica> I laughed and told them to get out of me <Jessica> lol <Jessica> OOPS <Jessica> out of my room <Jessica> not me <Anthony> hahahahahahahaha
#54715	152	* +MegamanX2K takes out a freon thrower and freezes Sitara to the core * +MegamanX2K then raises her body above his head and shatters it <+MegamanX2K> FATLITY <+MegamanX2K> err <+MegamanX2K> FATALITY <+MegamanX2K> ...damned typos <Snow_Angel> fatlity? <Snow_Angel> is that some sort of gamer geek word? <+MegamanX2K> It's Mortal Kombat, but Scorpion let himself go
#54652	209	<miz> man, you just pushed the geek meter right off the scale with the combined MS bash and LOTR reference
#54722	1146	<DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."
#54588	517	<BalkanEmperorGlaug> Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." <Schroe[Sleepies]> On my first flight ever, the captain came on over the intercom - <Schroe[Sleepies]> "We aren't really a flight crew ... but we did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!" <mike> :P <mike> i wanna be a pilot <mike> then i can come over the intercom, "What's this button do...OH FUCKING SHIT!!" <mike> then after panic ensues, "Just kidding!" <Glaug-Eldare> "The weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive." <Glaug-Eldare> Then you can get fired! <Glaug-Eldare> =D <mike> then i can get a job that's on the ground! <Glaug-Eldare> And throw wrenches at planes' windows while they're taking off? <mike> i was thinking more along the lines of programming
#54543	1001	Tarja: TODAY in auto shop Tarja: there was this giant spider crawling about in Penguin's engine and i insisted no one kill it Tarja: then Penguin came back (it was his car) and i showed him it Tarja: and he was like, oh yeah, that's the engine spider, he checks the oil and stuff Tarja: makes sure everything's running ok
#54580	194	<Gobblin> this guy i know is getting like a microwave connection or something <Gobblin> sounds pretty 1337x0rz <avat> "damn you old man with your pacemaker, you are slowing my uploads"

#55664

191

<Andaru> I don't have any porno <Andaru> I don't particularly like porno either <LuCiPh33R> you're on the internet and you don't like porn?

#55776

-319

<hobojackson> i was walking around and saw a car going really fast <hobojackson> SO I SAID WOW THAT CAR MUST HAVE 1024 MB OF DDR SD RAM AND A 256 MEG VIDEO CARD AND A 3 GIGAHERTZ HARD DRIVE AHAHHA AH AHAA AHAHAHHA <spongebob> OMG YOU CONFUSED COMPUTERS WITH REAL LIFE <spongebob> THATS THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER HEARd!!!!!!!!!

#55718

228

<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or solve world hunger

#806884

1771

<Geologist[afkr]> knock knock <thebigmike1983[FARK]> who's there? <Geologist[afkr]> 9/11 <thebigmike1983[FARK]> 9/11 who? <Geologist[afkr]> YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!

#55626

442

<[Ars]Michael> is there any way to make a noise when u get a pm <[Ars]Mikoyan> you could grunt in pleasure

#55651

13

<Renegade|> ops please <Renegade|> why won't the bots remember that i have ops <MatzeRX> u like keep changing ur IP or summit ? <Renegade|> no <MatzeRX> cable or dial up? <Renegade|> dial up

#55721

27

<Anthony> identical twins? <sHyGuY> tis true. <Kagome> we're faternal <Kagome> thank GOD <Anthony> FATernal?

#55775

255

Iride4mosh » no doing gay stuff while im gone ya hear polkaisrad » dont wanna miss out huh? Iride4mosh » shut up man...

#55653

246

<Boned> ever watched scrambled porn only to learn 5 mins later that its two guys?

#55774

39

* ZoMbIeGuY has joined #finalfight <Xerox> It's a zombie! Aim for the head, guys! <ZoMbIeGuY> =( * ToastyGhost knocks ZoMbIeGuY unconscious <Nimduin> ...Wow, he's either AzN or StUpId. <ToastyGhost> Just an AOL'r <ZoMbIeGuY> Uhh... I'm outter here. <ZoMbIeGuY> goodbye. * ToastyGhost cheers <Nimduin> That, or he's Fake President Deling. <TedAran> Ha * ZoMbIeGuY has quit IRC (Quit: )

#55599

267

<freshbob> man, this banana is huge <freshbob> i don't think bananas this big are natural <freshbob> they must be genetically engineered or something <manna> dude, it's not natural, but you have to give your ass a chance to relax

#55594

204

<Jeeeeebus> eg: I was in a doorway with my arm across it resting .. and he walks thru and goes "minimize, please" without even thinking bout it.. <RnRcneHHlt> hahahahahahahahahahaha <Jeeeeebus> I wish I could do that..

#55621

218

<Sentenced4Life> Im from ohio..w00t w00r <int0x6h> that would explain the handle right?

#806948

614

bmp: I'm a strangulation risk bmp: recall me lord: contains small parts lord: keep away from children (for other reasons) bmp: :<

#55591

278

[+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :) [Si|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then

#55602

21

<Morstis> The oath of celibacy in the church only means the priest can secretly sodomize young boys instead of having open intercourse with women.

#55615

-90

<Ultra_Violet> Xero: I want to fuck your lesbian grand-mother with a dirty wooden spoon

#55614

370

<SonicBlues> man, don't shove vibrators up your ass if your a guy man. I was trying to milk my prostate y'know, damnit, I guess the vibrator was too much for me. <SonicBlues> get this, i slide the dildo up my but, smothered with ky jelly yeah? I flip it on, and I start stroking. <DrQ> this cant end up well.... <SonicBlues> now, i'm in front of a TV, about 3.5 meters away from me, compensate about .25 meters for the diagonal. But man, i start strokng, and maybe 8 minutes later, i get this surging pain from my nuts and i shoot the silver bullet all the way to the tv man. christ. <DrQ> conrgatulations <Thrifty> Hahahahah holy shit man <SonicBlues> yeah, the problem is, I came onto irc to tell you all, my girlfriend stepped in...

#55593

-20

<IAmKingBrad> you know, having an opera singer rape you is much like eating a biscuit, except with eating a biscuit you do not have a cock in your ass unless you live at my uncle's house and am my cousin HAHA

#55608

11

[BR00D] haha i gave up on irc, and came back just to harass you :D

#55592

14

<@freshmint> [22:44] Amber: but shooosh I didnt tell u that <@freshmint> [22:44] Amber: hehe ok? <@freshmint> oops. <Spudsta> this, coming from the chick with a metaphorical cock

#55565

1102

<Rav3n> my gf is only 2 years old and my parents are fuming. <Rav3n> older

#55569

181

<thezinner> I've yet to find a women with the right MD5sum :)

#55572

279

<Kasugai> matthias_: You could get a job at Google telling their tech dept. what they are doing wrong! <matthias_> for one they still haven't got a mind-reader interface going <Kasugai> I hear they are still trying to implement safe search filtering on that one <Kasugai> Otherwise you get pr0n popping up every 8 seconds.

#806855

2146

<Anonymous> Last night, Helen and I were sitting in the living room, and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer. <Anonymous> She's such a bitch.

#55568

617

<vocalizedWHORE> mmm, c++ <vocalizedWHORE> do.this(); <vocalizedWHORE> do.that(); <vocalizedWHORE> if (error) <vocalizedWHORE> blame(microsoft);

#55567

217

<Perma> The first time you ever meet a chick, you have to slap her, just back hand the girl as hard as you can, like that, you'll never worry about that chick telling you "You never treat me the was you used too". <Perma> Got that? <rob> what if she likes getting smacked around <Perma> Even better

#55570

201

<LLyric> How do I break out of an infinite loop on a c64? It's been sooo long. <MaggieL> Unplug it.

#55566

588

Session Start: Thu Dec 12 21:34:30 2002 <burzzzzzz> 23:56:55 <burzzzzzz> 3 more mins !! :D <cystum> till what? <burzzzzzz> i can drive on my own <burzzzzzz> 00:00:01 <burzzzzzz> !!!! <milolilo> you're free! <burzzzzzz> <-- officialy a driver !! :D Session Start: Sat Dec 14 19:38:29 2002 <burzzzzzz> i had a little disagreement with cement pilar while looking for a place to park my car :/

#55590

145

[+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :) [{Ogre}Si|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then

#55571

1693

<Pepe> there are 2 kids in the fourth grade, one white and one black, which one has the bigger dick <L@cky> the black one <Pepe> why? <L@cky> cuz hes black dipshit <Pepe> no fuckface, the nigger's 25! <Nostradom> Dude, stop making fun of black people. <Nostradom> Seriously, I used to have a really good black friend. <L@cky> used to? <Nostradom> money was short...we had to sell him

#55573

113

<merle> damn it, i cant figure out what is taking up so much room on my hdd <scott-> probably gay porn you renamed and hid a long time ago

#55468

172

* DRagon87 flips quarter <DRagon87> heads <Squirl> is heads the bottom?

#55481

159

lope767: watch out man lope767: she'll eat u hole lope767: err lope767: whole FKing Windows: I was sort of hoping for both.

#55559

648

[Video`] The future of tech support isn't changing at all. [Video`] I was in this class of tech support people. [Video`] I took a screenshot of the desktop [Video`] Made it the background [Video`] And moved all the icons [Video`] And they were confused as hell :

#608100

13117

<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar <cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke <cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet <cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied <emoti_conartist> lol <cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy <cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open <cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit <emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha <cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM <cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first' <cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face <cassius_clay13> and runs away <cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

#806949

736

<Ryou> 360's are great but their hardware quality is pretty lol <Kuraineko> it's called 360 because of the trip it takes <Kuraineko> from microsoft, to you, back to microsoft, to you again

#55500

107

<Ken> Massages are pretty healthy for you. <Ken> It's a form of preventive medicine <KageGamer> what about the massages that like the little japanese girl walks on your back <KageGamer> what if she has long nails on her toes <KageGamer> wouldnt that hurt? DannoHung> In mother russia, YOU walk on little Japanese girl!

#55564

210

(During another round of mega splits on DALnet) <Guest51394> how do u get into the servers? <priz> you can't. <priz> if you walked into a McDonalds when the kitchen was on fire, do you think they'd take your order?

#55495

1806

<zealous> I was walking to the mobil gas station this morning to get my ride to work as I do every morning (weekdays anyway) when I decided that instead of walking the long way around I would just jump the little wall (about 3 feet high) and get there quicker, well when I went to jump the wall I started off with my left foot instead of my right like I usually do and I didn't bring my foot up quick enough thus catching the wall and sending me face first <zealous> into the ground but somehow I managed to do some wild ninja tuck and roll things ending up on my feet and staring at some guy who was quite bugged eyed so I just raised my arms in a "v" and yelled hazah at the top of my lungs

#55514

171

<bbraun> do you think that when thoreau urged us to simplify our lives, he meant going to serial terminals?

#55524

460

<pairo> you know you're doomed when you have to whois your domain registrar ID to find out your own phone number

#55512

538

<Oriden> you have lens crafters in canada? <EV3> yup yup <Gregg|WaitingForUO> no <Gregg|WaitingForUO> we just leave our visually impaired to die. <Gregg|WaitingForUO> get hit by cars and stuff

#55503

194

<gofer-chan> ...Exo, can I still keep my channel? Or is that like impersonating you or something? <gofer-chan> Because if you want, I'll change the name. <Exophase> gofer; You can keep the channel :p <gofer-chan> Yay! <Exophase> gofer; It's not impersonating me to have a channel called "#exophase", because no one is gonna walk into the channel and go "gasp, I'm sitting inside Exophase!"

#55372

254

<AnTrAaXx> wb Dark <Dark|Lord> wow.. I've been disconnected for 9 hours, and you've been here long enough to gimme wb? :)

#55443

148

<APE_> warezing is like wanking, everyone does it but u dont talk about it

#55380

644

<Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a preview DVD of apparently quite a lot of their games. I have no DVD player. I do, however, have a PS2. CAN ANYONE SEE THE IRONY HERE!?

#806846

189

<makfu> So CaNaBiS, you totally walked into the bathroom and some dood was washing his pants?! <CaNaBiS> makfu, yeah, it was in the public restroom <CaNaBiS> he was naked in front of the sink washing his shit stained pants <CaNaBiS> with no shoes on <naphtali> You should have asked him for some change for the soda machine

#55456

68

<Maddie46> Abs I have tried warez and its confusing <dotcomlarry> yeah, version 1.0 was hard.

#55417

23

<Jiggs> Can anyone tell me the correct syntax for using "! list" for getting the server info?

#55365

414

<daenonok> not unless you wanna get rodney king'd <daenonok> nerd style <R4g3^o^M4g3> I've seen it before. <R4g3^o^M4g3> Plastic keyboard wrist-rests and optical mice...it ain't pretty. <R4g3^o^M4g3> According to the police report "Six geeks who wish to remain unnamed mauled a defenseless jock in a birrage of girly punches and kicks, while repeating a (believed to be satanic) chant; '0wn3d d00d!"

#55358

28

<garyttu> Dude you are not going to believe this... I played golf with my dad today and put my cell phone in my golf bag....well I started to play like ass and took a nine iron to the side of my bag....OOPS!!!!! <banshee> Do i need to explain what a dumb ass you are??? LOLOLOL <garyttu> yeah- it was so funny but at the same time I am sooo pissed at myself <banshee> That is one of those things... where after you do it... you just know... that it was fate telling you to stop acting like a jack ass...

#55438

501

<Guest> how big is the internet? <xmaddness> Well if you go too far you'll fall off the end of it. <Guest> really? <xmaddness> Yep, some people call it IRC

#55463

346

<sean> wow <sean> that fart was gross <sean> sounded like an elephant got shot

#55453

194

<N1k1tA> i can blow a perfect 2600hz pitch with my ass <Nab> heh <N1k1tA> the goatse man is not gay, he is a phreaker

#55341

835

<whiskers> wtf <whiskers> my sister just called me from her room <whiskers> told me to turn down the music <Spyder|TV> crank it <torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT <Kinuvan> CRANK IT *whiskers turns up the music <whiskers>i hear steps *** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)

#55328

281

<Steve> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/12/14/ korea.nukes/index.html <Jsangspar> I swear to god, CNN and the government are making everything up <Jsangspar> and it's starting to fall apart <Jsangspar> 'The Yongbyon nuclear facility in North Korea. Pyongyang says it will restart the nuclear reactor there ' <Jsangspar> "YONGBYON"? "PYONGYANG"? Now they're just making fun of asian people <Steve> "Neighbor and potential threat FLIEDLICE has threatened to destroy any troops coming through their territory, be it from the western YELLOWSKIN or the east's SLANTEYEBASTIDS." <Jsangspar> gahahah

#55337

125

<hajjs> a floppy just got stuck in the computer <hajjs> htf do i get it out? <Puppet-Master> force? <hajjs> i sprayed hand lotion onto it <hajjs> it got out.... but didn't look pretty

#805764

636

RetroKid27: Asians know how to haggle RetroKid27: it's in their blood Cool4freeReturns: yeah, we do Cool4freeReturns: our slanty eyes give us the ability to see the real prices

#55187

360

impOrted megAmi: life does suck, ya know. i mean, at the bad parts, naturally. JimBob4554: words of wisdom JimBob4554: "life sucks when its bad"

#55280

340

<@WoWMaN\\> this girl put her finger up my ass once <@WoWMaN\\> I dont wonna sound gay , but it was the best feeling i ever had ! <@Bart\\> dude , that wasnt a girl <@Bart\\> And it wasnt my finger either

#55178

382

<#C++:Luggage_> guy in the #vb channel thinks vb is too hard.. so wants to learn assembly.. i advised him against it, but he thinks it looks easy "nice small words"

#55231

369

<SO|Razor> treize do you believe in other intelligent life? <SO|Treize> in the universe? <SO|Treize> or on forums? <SO|Razor> .............

#55220

96

<WTM2K> what if i sodomized a priest while the priest is sodomizing an altar boy, WHILE the altar boy is sodomizing a blind 3-legged kitten? <Meatball> then you tape it and sell it on the black market <Gentleman> yes <[N]> yes tape it <Gentleman> that is hell material <Livewireo> Only if the kitten was dead

#55229

325

* motionz climbs up the statue of liberty <motionz> .... <c-rOCK> JUMP COCKSUCKER <threeve> jeez what did motionz do <Video`> Do it, pussy. <motionz> if that's how you all feel *** motionz was kicked by c-rOCK (BIG WIND!)

#55095

271

* Cheez is now known as rwxr-xr-x <MudBlud> ./Cheez

#55020

224

<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching.

#55128

28

<The_Atari> I also hear they're making a Back to the Future 4 <[-FcG-]aawis> he goes back in time to fix his parkinsons desease

#806380

1281

<Zoso> So me and my friend applied to the same electronics position in a store (think like Best Buy) <Zoso> And he got the job even though he knows next to nothing about any of the games or hardware or anything <Zoso> All because he looks more "presentable" <Zoso> And at this store, your first couple of call-in help questions are done with the supervisor of your department <Zoso> So last week, in the morning, i told him just some bullshit information...and I called in that day (with my voice disguised) to ask him about it <Zoso> "Hello. I recently bought a 250GB external hard-drive...and while it's not very heavy now, I was wondering how much it will weigh when it's full." <Zoso> The idiot responds with "Oh, don't worry sir, it's just a few pounds more." <Zoso> ...so the supervisor hears the conversation... <Zoso> And the stupid fucker got fired *Zoso is away: filling out application...again

#55034

579

<Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc." <Dilbert> investors* <Dilbert> i meant

#55091

273

<@Megaman> All your base are belong to us * Arrow sets mode: +b *!*Donnyku@* * Megaman was kicked by Arrow (That joke is now 2 years, 6 months, 8 days, 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Let it die.)

#54978

241

<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo

#55167

1251

(@Li-Sonder) i'm going to build a castle from the empty soda cans on my desk (@Li-Sonder) and declare myself king of this desk (@Li-Sonder) and rule it with an iron fist (@Li-Sonder) and make all the ants pay taxes (@Li-Infinite) wow (@Li-Infinite) you got way too much time on your hand. (@Li-Sonder) you mean my iron fist.

#55155

332

<[Piratez]> I think i'm allergic to porn, everytime I look at porn my cock swells.

#54993

254

:: join #bitchx :: desane (desane@if.I.were.a.perl.script.would.you.love.fork.ing.me.uk) :: mode #bitchx :: (+b *!*@*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*) by pheret :: kick #bitchx :: pheret kicked desane (banned: If you match this, you have a lame host.)

#55170

102

<KevinIsOwn> An IRC user having sex with someone hot? <KevinIsOwn> What is the world coming to <RX> good things kevin <KevinIsOwn> Yes... VERY good things :D

#54933

234

*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to <Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art. <Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to hentai" :)? <Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :]

#54935

161

<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> Deos anyone know where i can host a site that supports ASP for free? <ApoIIyon> insecurehosts.com <^{[Dr-Dre]}^> ok thanks

#54794

199

<ChuckD> so i got a massive summer sausage today <ChuckD> what happened <ChuckD> is i was talking about summer sausage <ChuckD> and my friend said "i can bring ya summer sausage! i have tons!" <ChuckD> i thought he was joking <ChuckD> sure enough, he shows up with a massive summer sausage <ChuckD> people looked at me funny <ChuckD> i was carrying around a summer sausage, after all <Dancer_the_Reindeer> or were you just happy to see them?

#805000

610

<Quadlex> sparc: One of my mates works for a porn company and is keeping an ear open for vacancies <moreon> Quadlex: I wouldn't hold my breath on that. I bet they plug every hole they find pretty quickly.

#54793

230

(rooster): So, are you hard at work (rooster): or (rooster): HARD, at work

#54914

442

[Video] I've been watching the warez scene for like two months. [Video] Nothing is worth DOWNLOADING [Video] That's sad [Ouija] i know [Video] Is that their new anti-piracy technique? [Video] Release shit no one wants?

#54940

24

zolex: do you call tabbaco a drug? crummy: yes crummy: of course its a drug zolex: its a plant, its not a drug you idiot.

#54838

621

<Dekkon> SHE HAS DSL <Killrbyte> Digital Subscriber Line? <nyisles> is it from Speakeasy? <Killrbyte> Tell her to get cable. Its faster. <Dekkon> DICK SUCKING LIPS <Dekkon> DAMN NERDS

#54802

234

<tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever seen <Frostlion> no it'sn't <tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling

#54809

336

<SpookyD> if ppl saw what was on my screen right now they would be shocked and disgusted ;) <DanJ> SpookyD: So get some tissues and clean it

#54801

8

<NIH> Dec 12 1917 <NIH> The worst train wreck in history, leaving 543 Frenchmen dead. <NIH> Worst... or best?

#54760

464

<DarkLich> DarkLich had his first homosexual encounter =( <DarkLich> It was horrid. I'm not 100% straight. <DarkLich> NOW <DarkLich> NOW. I said NOW 100% straight.

#54791

193

<GregMoore> -v raxor <GregMoore> FUCK <GregMoore> lol <GregMoore> -ox raxor <GregMoore> -o raxor <GregMoore> HOW DO I FUCK YOU OVER!

#54757

282

<TrouT> anyone know what this means: <TrouT> python2.1: can't open file '/usr/local/sbin/ RegisterVh3Service' <+toad-> I think python2.1 can't open the file /usr/local/sbin /RegisterVh3Service

#805156

1302

<TomRiddle> Nothing a couple of hands around her neck can't fix <Tine`> lol <Tine`> good luck <Tine`> I got knivs <Tine`> knjives <Tine`> knives <TomRiddle> Are you typing with them?

#54742

271

<kleitin> where are u guys from? <Hyperbyte> I am from the Netherlands <kleitin> netherlands is in usa ?

#54582

272

<Throttle> man, farting in the shower kinda kills that whole clean feeling u get

#54729

353

<Jessica> lol my grandpa has gay dogs Lol <Jessica> he has two big dogs and they are both boys and they were umm lol <Anthony> I SAW! <Anthony> that's sick <Anthony> heh <Jessica> my day was boring <Anthony> not that boring if you saw gay dogs! heh <Jessica> I laughed and told them to get out of me <Jessica> lol <Jessica> OOPS <Jessica> out of my room <Jessica> not me <Anthony> hahahahahahahaha

#54715

152

* +MegamanX2K takes out a freon thrower and freezes Sitara to the core * +MegamanX2K then raises her body above his head and shatters it <+MegamanX2K> FATLITY <+MegamanX2K> err <+MegamanX2K> FATALITY <+MegamanX2K> ...damned typos <Snow_Angel> fatlity? <Snow_Angel> is that some sort of gamer geek word? <+MegamanX2K> It's Mortal Kombat, but Scorpion let himself go

#54652

209

<miz> man, you just pushed the geek meter right off the scale with the combined MS bash and LOTR reference

#54722

1146

<DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."

#54588

517

<BalkanEmperorGlaug> Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." <Schroe[Sleepies]> On my first flight ever, the captain came on over the intercom - <Schroe[Sleepies]> "We aren't really a flight crew ... but we did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!" <mike> :P <mike> i wanna be a pilot <mike> then i can come over the intercom, "What's this button do...OH FUCKING SHIT!!" <mike> then after panic ensues, "Just kidding!" <Glaug-Eldare> "The weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive." <Glaug-Eldare> Then you can get fired! <Glaug-Eldare> =D <mike> then i can get a job that's on the ground! <Glaug-Eldare> And throw wrenches at planes' windows while they're taking off? <mike> i was thinking more along the lines of programming

#54543

1001

Tarja: TODAY in auto shop Tarja: there was this giant spider crawling about in Penguin's engine and i insisted no one kill it Tarja: then Penguin came back (it was his car) and i showed him it Tarja: and he was like, oh yeah, that's the engine spider, he checks the oil and stuff Tarja: makes sure everything's running ok

#54580

194

<Gobblin> this guy i know is getting like a microwave connection or something <Gobblin> sounds pretty 1337x0rz <avat> "damn you old man with your pacemaker, you are slowing my uploads"